subreddit,author,date,post,automated_readability_index,coleman_liau_index,flesch_kincaid_grade_level,flesch_reading_ease,gulpease_index,gunning_fog_index,lix,smog_index,wiener_sachtextformel,n_chars,n_long_words,n_monosyllable_words,n_polysyllable_words,n_sents,n_syllables,n_unique_words,n_words,sent_neg,sent_neu,sent_pos,sent_compound,economic_stress_total,isolation_total,substance_use_total,guns_total,domestic_stress_total,suicidality_total,punctuation,liwc_1st_pers,liwc_2nd_pers,liwc_3rd_pers,liwc_achievement,liwc_adverbs,liwc_affective_processes,liwc_anger,liwc_anxiety,liwc_articles_article,liwc_assent,liwc_auxiliary_verbs,liwc_biological,liwc_body,liwc_causation,liwc_certainty,liwc_cognitive,liwc_common_verbs,liwc_conjunctions,liwc_death,liwc_discrepancy,liwc_exclusive,liwc_family,liwc_feel,liwc_fillers,liwc_friends,liwc_future_tense,liwc_health,liwc_hear,liwc_home,liwc_humans,liwc_impersonal_pronouns,liwc_inclusive,liwc_ingestion,liwc_inhibition,liwc_insight,liwc_leisure,liwc_money,liwc_motion,liwc_negations,liwc_negative_emotion,liwc_nonfluencies,liwc_numbers,liwc_past_tense,liwc_perceptual_processes,liwc_personal_pronouns,liwc_positive_emotion,liwc_prepositions,liwc_present_tense,liwc_quantifiers,liwc_relativity,liwc_religion,liwc_sadness,liwc_see,liwc_sexual,liwc_social_processes,liwc_space,liwc_swear_words,liwc_tentative,liwc_time,liwc_total_functional,liwc_total_pronouns,liwc_work,tfidf_abl,tfidf_abus,tfidf_actual,tfidf_addict,tfidf_adhd,tfidf_advic,tfidf_ago,tfidf_alcohol,tfidf_almost,tfidf_alon,tfidf_alreadi,tfidf_also,tfidf_alway,tfidf_amp,tfidf_amp x200b,tfidf_ani,tfidf_anoth,tfidf_anxieti,tfidf_anxious,tfidf_anymor,tfidf_anyon,tfidf_anyon els,tfidf_anyth,tfidf_around,tfidf_ask,tfidf_attack,tfidf_away,tfidf_back,tfidf_bad,tfidf_becaus,tfidf_becom,tfidf_befor,tfidf_believ,tfidf_best,tfidf_better,tfidf_bit,tfidf_bodi,tfidf_bpd,tfidf_brain,tfidf_call,tfidf_came,tfidf_care,tfidf_caus,tfidf_chang,tfidf_come,tfidf_complet,tfidf_constant,tfidf_control,tfidf_could,tfidf_coupl,tfidf_cri,tfidf_day,tfidf_deal,tfidf_depress,tfidf_diagnos,tfidf_die,tfidf_differ,tfidf_disord,tfidf_doctor,tfidf_doe,tfidf_done,tfidf_dont,tfidf_drink,tfidf_drug,tfidf_eat,tfidf_els,tfidf_emot,tfidf_end,tfidf_enough,tfidf_etc,tfidf_even,tfidf_ever,tfidf_everi,tfidf_everyon,tfidf_everyth,tfidf_experi,tfidf_famili,tfidf_fear,tfidf_feel,tfidf_feel like,tfidf_felt,tfidf_final,tfidf_find,tfidf_first,tfidf_food,tfidf_found,tfidf_friend,tfidf_fuck,tfidf_get,tfidf_give,tfidf_go,tfidf_good,tfidf_got,tfidf_great,tfidf_guess,tfidf_guy,tfidf_happen,tfidf_happi,tfidf_hard,tfidf_hate,tfidf_head,tfidf_health,tfidf_hear,tfidf_heart,tfidf_help,tfidf_high,tfidf_home,tfidf_hope,tfidf_hour,tfidf_hous,tfidf_hurt,tfidf_idea,tfidf_im,tfidf_issu,tfidf_job,tfidf_keep,tfidf_kill,tfidf_kind,tfidf_know,tfidf_last,tfidf_late,tfidf_leav,tfidf_left,tfidf_let,tfidf_life,tfidf_like,tfidf_littl,tfidf_live,tfidf_long,tfidf_look,tfidf_lose,tfidf_lost,tfidf_lot,tfidf_love,tfidf_made,tfidf_make,tfidf_mani,tfidf_mayb,tfidf_mean,tfidf_med,tfidf_medic,tfidf_mental,tfidf_might,tfidf_mind,tfidf_mom,tfidf_month,tfidf_move,tfidf_much,tfidf_need,tfidf_never,tfidf_new,tfidf_next,tfidf_night,tfidf_normal,tfidf_noth,tfidf_notic,tfidf_old,tfidf_onc,tfidf_one,tfidf_onli,tfidf_pain,tfidf_panic,tfidf_parent,tfidf_part,tfidf_past,tfidf_peopl,tfidf_person,tfidf_place,tfidf_pleas,tfidf_point,tfidf_possibl,tfidf_post,tfidf_pretti,tfidf_probabl,tfidf_problem,tfidf_ptsd,tfidf_put,tfidf_question,tfidf_quit,tfidf_read,tfidf_real,tfidf_realli,tfidf_reason,tfidf_recent,tfidf_relationship,tfidf_rememb,tfidf_right,tfidf_said,tfidf_say,tfidf_scare,tfidf_school,tfidf_see,tfidf_seem,tfidf_self,tfidf_sever,tfidf_shit,tfidf_sinc,tfidf_situat,tfidf_sleep,tfidf_social,tfidf_someon,tfidf_someth,tfidf_sometim,tfidf_sorri,tfidf_start,tfidf_stay,tfidf_still,tfidf_stop,tfidf_stress,tfidf_struggl,tfidf_stuff,tfidf_suicid,tfidf_support,tfidf_sure,tfidf_symptom,tfidf_take,tfidf_talk,tfidf_tell,tfidf_thank,tfidf_therapi,tfidf_therapist,tfidf_thing,tfidf_think,tfidf_though,tfidf_thought,tfidf_time,tfidf_tire,tfidf_today,tfidf_told,tfidf_took,tfidf_tri,tfidf_turn,tfidf_two,tfidf_understand,tfidf_us,tfidf_use,tfidf_usual,tfidf_veri,tfidf_want,tfidf_way,tfidf_week,tfidf_weight,tfidf_well,tfidf_went,tfidf_whi,tfidf_whole,tfidf_wish,tfidf_without,tfidf_wonder,tfidf_work,tfidf_worri,tfidf_wors,tfidf_would,tfidf_wrong,tfidf_x200b,tfidf_year
addiction,MushroomEagle,2020/01/01,Hadn’t even made it a day Just relapsed for the 5th time in 30 days. I’m sure I’ll get it this time though. It’s so damn hard sometimes. It started as a way to cope but it became a daily thing. I’m only 18 guys. I was never supposed to turn out like my mom but here I am. Nobody but a few close friends even know. Fuck this shit. Good luck to everyone else in the new year.,-1.5753896103896141,0.3441639285714295,0.7334199134199118,103.4055194805195,94.23809523809523,3.5307359307359314,14.779220779220779,4.851557810540192,-1.322128571428571,286,6,74,1,11,95,63,84,0.149,0.6729999999999999,0.17800000000000002,0.4,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,6,8,3,0,6,0,3,2,1,1,2,11,11,6,0,0,4,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,8,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,1,3,5,8,8,1,13,0,0,0,1,3,4,3,1,9,39,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715592749795586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17587754146690074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781168186322901,0.0,0.0,0.20117814788053012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626611902839923,0.19463905274798907,0.10999745170957358,0.0,0.0,0.1765893438404333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084657896179245,0.0,0.0,0.1886007564393265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157062169869721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102858266101002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992162120203698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465796425035149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16237993850914784,0.203338979532048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16012368911327704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161143028955624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20822753424471407,0.0,0.14901992927191174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19842963894971452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13987213826049652,0.0,0.20685258438787374,0.0,0.24553288293182146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22900496215859426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16711531988055373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13557961403838387
addiction,karynlackey,2020/01/01,I read my way out of addiction and into a master's degree “I read my way out of addiction and into a master’s degree.” by Karyn Dowdall https://link.medium.com/HRMigah8T2,5.5500000000000025,8.679772666666667,6.0100000000000025,69.78500000000001,72.33333333333334,8.0,23.333333333333336,8.841846274778883,2.281333333333334,140,4,20,3,3,45,18,30,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,7,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,15,4,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6492877034936121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5957573145733036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4727564914672213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,throwaway2463684,2020/01/01,"I think my friend relapsed I haven't known her for too long, but we text almost every day and have gotten to know each other rather well. She got pregnant a couple weeks ago through a one-night-stand and is not in a position to keep it, so she just had an abortion yesterday, and is taking it rather rough because of the side effects. She's rather open about her life, so right around when we first met she told me that she's a recovered heroin addict and has been clean for 2 years.

I just found out a few hours ago that she might have relapsed early this morning. I can't say the source and I'm not 100% positive, but someone that knows her said that he found her bathtub splattered with blood with a needle laying in it. She got her abortion through a pill, so that explains the blood, but I can't figure out why she would have a needle there as well, and the only thing I can think of is that the stress of the last few weeks got to her and she relapsed. I've been doing my best to try and support her through this time in her life since she found out she was pregnant, but I worry that it wasn't enough and she just needed an extra something to calm down... 

We met on a business trip a couple months ago, so I don't know her family or have any mutual friends with her, I only found out about the bathtub through a fluke, technically I shouldn't have that info at all. 

I don't know what to do. 

If I confront her about it and tell her how I found out, that would only piss her off and end our friendship, and she would still be relapsing and learn to hide it better from her friends and family, since I haven't quite known her long enough to talk to her about things like that and I shouldn't even know about it at all. 

I can probably try and contact her brother, who knows of me, but doesn't know me personally, and see if I can show him the evidence of what that person said so that he knows the situation, looks into it, and can try and help her like I assume he did 2 years ago. But since he doesn't really know me, he might think I'm lying and brush me off, tell her, and then our friendship is over and she learns to hide it better.

I can just try and do nothing, and pretend like I never saw what that person wrote, but I don't think I can do that. I've really gotten to know her these past few weeks and we've opened up to each other about some more personal issues in our lives, and I look forward to talking with her every day. If I just leave it alone, I fear it will only get worse, it'll be too late to help her, and she might OD and I'll never be able to talk to her ever again. Just thinking about it hurts. I've been rather lonely these last few years, and I don't know if I can deal with losing one of my closest and only friends, let alone in this manner, knowing that I could have helped.

The only idea I have left is to wait a few days and pretend like I just found out that one of my other friends relapsed, and to ask her how I can help this imaginary friend. I can talk about this imaginary friend the same way that I'm talking about her, and hopefully she'll draw some parallels to her own situation and realize that she needs help. 

Unfortunately, life dealt her a bad hand, and she's been struggling every day to get by for a while now. Even if she does decide that she needs help, I don't know how she'll go about it. She's not even close to being well-off and is on the verge of being homeless, so I don't know if rehab is even an option. Growing up sheltered in an upper-middle class family, I really don't have any experience with any of this and I don't even know where to start, only that I want to help any way that I can. 

Even though I have some reason to doubt what that person said he saw, I can't help but think back to our previous conversations and how she would stop replying for a while, only to text back saying that she was ""taking a nap"". She might have relapsed a while ago, and I might not even know it. But maybe on the other hand that guy was lying and she's stayed clean this whole time. I have no way of knowing, since we don't live near each other at all, and I haven't seen her since I met her on that business trip. Maybe I'm overreacting and she just slipped up once to try and counter the side effects of her abortion pill, which is making her feel very sick, and that she's never planning on doing it again. I don't want to take that chance though, I've heard that heroin is a very addictive drug and that even if she was only planning on doing it once she might slip and start doing it more and more until she's addicted again. I'm so confused, hurt, and clueless; I don't want to lose my friend.",8.38420618556701,5.061882590721653,7.942345360824742,81.31176546391751,63.81443298969072,11.019587628865981,32.600515463917525,8.238735603445708,2.1231979381443304,3643,81,824,32,40,1157,307,970,0.1,0.768,0.133,0.9853,0,4,2,0,0,0,90.0,8,0,0,11,59,33,2,5,36,0,91,16,5,8,7,193,167,85,1,25,33,1,4,4,8,16,11,6,2,6,69,72,0,3,44,4,0,5,30,13,2,3,34,17,127,20,99,110,24,99,0,5,6,0,124,42,1,23,54,571,196,3,0.039280005543772964,0.0,0.0,0.12846301196787788,0.0,0.0,0.174096774473195,0.0,0.039333251567043495,0.08136447902699019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10684700295420023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0349675327787378,0.03672150277244544,0.0,0.0,0.06040779930623667,0.03279716390212276,0.023944726795653768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04122194243442975,0.06947994569534978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03136188818356165,0.08692515803307771,0.0,0.10132941608780924,0.040495960936374434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034374197554641946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04555233585436892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03479042598845193,0.08117349186811924,0.0,0.20755258562485435,0.03553101383710014,0.09928529641012863,0.0,0.0,0.0384233826639322,0.11108908018709898,0.04420092672832888,0.01986115103504213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03341155264933315,0.0,0.25841099177845395,0.2427810787588185,0.0,0.041044363348359536,0.0,0.022323732358609155,0.0,0.09424742619045234,0.0,0.0,0.03889338108200953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21062847783208,0.0,0.0,0.039013908503656124,0.03868289310604206,0.0,0.08410011668601414,0.04434234508021228,0.0,0.040998120521871885,0.0,0.034913873734540884,0.0,0.0,0.3669834843614352,0.0640368943013547,0.0443095571699892,0.04159185428579136,0.042677840955054405,0.040166466970305716,0.08323388869001587,0.07676090639587682,0.0,0.06936992907642693,0.06952313767309967,0.0659706234691577,0.08788855753437151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026219708714710247,0.0,0.07892409032061301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500192710848339,0.0,0.0,0.03135292567192731,0.0,0.0,0.08737687918669393,0.09088548543266403,0.0,0.0,0.03686162430228095,0.0,0.03769022470685803,0.0,0.0,0.08366384788683838,0.07985144499298259,0.2688679281679118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03749720991680243,0.0,0.17148892870189653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04235048957542775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04177912096725548,0.0,0.0,0.07549133212010074,0.040386387774683716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03354491011207813,0.11209284090866624,0.062474073984776814,0.0,0.0,0.03130107881892539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624641324709312,0.08830474399783601,0.0,0.0,0.03328182122880291,0.030239667315037726,0.0,0.0,0.05560518019392301,0.041867259538622345,0.031369063167308746,0.03283984347681298,0.04499511363710643,0.04106399039791021,0.0,0.0,0.044574484801948214,0.0,0.0,0.08860102713573446,0.1578589027795978,0.06866491236316909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05219178058991469,0.151014248972048,0.07718481202255124,0.0,0.04580897422802202,0.0,0.0,0.03753372860473195,0.0,0.1333427267847009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06482023661716277,0.06950509493870506,0.09353592020065586,0.09452415334141476,0.0,0.1059523269686264,0.0,0.03544409538922542,0.04385472341975431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039890752326544425,0.0400296814338608,0.11161355575952088,0.0,0.0,0.07588510717386165
addiction,Christiannan,2020/01/01,"It’s now been 8 years since I quit opiates, cold turkey. I’m 23. Happy new year! Today marks my 8th year clean from opiate painkillers. Hope you’re all having a good and safe holiday!",0.6008108108108097,3.0846593513513523,1.6473513513513502,96.43210810810814,90.62162162162159,4.0410810810810815,15.508108108108113,5.6839178017228535,-0.7144767567567567,144,3,30,1,5,45,35,37,0.0,0.5760000000000001,0.424,0.9544,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,4,1,3,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625942416281919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3332764250431316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31095623029589153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30237184171156484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33299606369447265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589806360299368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2967605107675757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6048342185498381
addiction,k_thrace_,2020/01/01,"First sober NYE in (at least) a decade! Last night I celebrated my first NYE in at least a decade, sober (and also in a deep sleep lol). I woke up this morning feeling hopeful, happy to be alive, and grateful to even be feeling either of the two at this stage in my sobriety (day 2). It also happens to be an incredibly beautiful day (70s and not a cloud in sight), someone’s playing Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers in the neighborhood loud enough to hear but not be a disturbance, and there’s just enough of a breeze to make the wind-chimes outside my neighbor’s place (all 59 of them) start chiming, really gently... I’m not sure if this is some sort of precursor to a horrible emotional crash, but right now, nothing can touch me. 

Happy 2020s to everyone! It’s gonna be a great decade!",6.973831168831168,6.105236740259741,7.165551948051952,77.97547077922081,64.71428571428571,10.816883116883119,34.185064935064936,10.125756701596842,3.1767168831168835,614,23,123,12,8,199,96,154,0.085,0.7140000000000001,0.2,0.9451,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,1,2,6,8,0,1,13,1,7,1,1,1,2,21,17,10,0,2,8,0,3,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,5,5,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,2,0,3,1,6,7,6,21,10,7,22,0,1,1,0,3,13,0,4,8,80,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783510431261801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22447602414665885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19576566209026688,0.0,0.3596488250729937,0.0,0.11494830677315902,0.0,0.0,0.166297655584805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17599439102497427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29606772796518244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19187391919244373,0.0,0.0,0.15389834898832586,0.3705264414054647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19614980447340627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17285576894537882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186154412467142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11616954274090123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16331981741202162,0.0,0.1669910302070227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18182926563306126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149111315099426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14862472010676622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17416042938943885,0.0,0.1474590734703812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123182687257112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16402568620660013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17000665623936806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,indyferret,2020/01/01,"Help with pill addiction Aye so I've fucked up. I was taking co-codomol 30/500 - 30mg codine, 500 paracetamol (not sure what that is in America)for back pain and inevitably I'm now addicted. I feel like utter shit when I don't have them. I'm not ""getting anything"" from them, except the pain relief but I know enough to know that could be in my head now. what can I do, I've been taking them for about 5 years, and can take up to 12 tablets a day, more when I can. I realise I can't continue, I have none left after today anyway so taper isn't a thing I can do (no willpower anyway) so I guess I'm about to be sick for a while. How can I make it less shitty for myself? I'll have to still function and work through this (can't take sick days I'm self employed)",0.19462962962963104,2.289697228395063,1.9780246913580264,96.91111111111113,85.97530864197529,4.834567901234569,18.259259259259263,6.139981653823899,-0.3374222222222221,589,15,137,5,18,193,99,162,0.15,0.802,0.048,-0.9552,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,3,1,14,7,2,0,4,0,20,10,2,2,1,16,35,11,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,0,7,0,0,1,7,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,8,4,0,0,2,1,17,3,18,30,4,18,0,0,0,1,5,5,2,1,14,90,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3603908450929527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13602330396050627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12710128099532533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13197422214820867,0.0,0.0,0.2132025787262739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17079342266713554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357787463165743,0.11808643638466845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15281211797989305,0.08635956315454585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18209054658014528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16963986250384142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11079343087320892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816830880708544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17959297699302684,0.0,0.0,0.08075455193971058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033537401584846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35177004166463777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724382312279557,0.0,0.16967244694711053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320044152569082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557881266363933,0.0,0.49712362424657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10981433269528554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15667987528269342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12033637744451707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10644424992617997
addiction,neph36,2020/01/01,"It has officially been 10 years since I cold-turkeyed Suboxone and finally became clean from opiates and never looked back. I was on Suboxone for about 10 years, and I constantly abused/relapsed onto Heroin. It did not work for me. 

I no longer consider myself an addict and have no cravings. I know exactly where that road leads, and it is in a place where you are sick as hell 75% of the time and your life sucks.

I would have never made it through a taper. It was hell for the better part of a year, but it was worth it.

I am 8 years off Klonopin, too. That was harder, in many respects.",3.507435897435897,4.9401040170940185,4.204786324786326,88.07076923076927,72.93162393162393,7.593162393162394,24.96581196581197,8.167268648758528,1.3251811965811964,458,14,96,7,9,146,80,117,0.127,0.7959999999999999,0.078,-0.5719,0,0,0,0,1,0,17.0,0,2,0,3,5,5,3,0,6,0,13,3,0,2,3,15,17,8,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,0,9,6,0,0,1,0,1,1,5,3,0,0,7,1,11,2,14,9,1,20,2,0,1,0,2,9,3,0,10,70,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23403925515386576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16508015971147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18987217981550325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23199912522537436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351778446963127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179857235141194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15163895828195326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18028203615471627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031409333312837,0.0,0.21765774616733968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3311579105786023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324838444664405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22430100995136887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17759034590699155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12518504015423965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15629384890598574,0.0,0.0,0.15250666157643405,0.0,0.0,0.5530025705666238
addiction,gregohla,2020/01/01,Lets quit alcohol in 2020 Alcohol addiction was something that gradually crept into our lives as a coping mechanism. check out this whiteboard animated video on getting rid of alcohol from our lives at  https://youtu.be/5SDQ60ggGGE,13.561428571428573,15.267664142857154,11.126428571428573,46.46107142857147,50.42857142857143,16.142857142857142,48.92857142857143,14.554592549557764,8.494714285714286,195,11,22,8,2,59,31,35,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,4,0,0,0,6.0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,8,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,15,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596408442970629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7635950379184967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12443418136655812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435453264759508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4206175772696637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533234915426029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18335517670024606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ilikemycrazy,2020/01/01,Mississippi Just curious. Anyone here from the ‘Sip?,5.2974999999999985,7.671593749999999,6.620000000000001,54.725000000000016,111.5,11.6,29.0,8.841846274778883,5.830050000000001,42,2,5,2,2,14,8,8,0.0,0.753,0.247,0.3182,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,BD9416,2020/01/01,"Beating a cocaine addiction I was heavily dependent on cocaine for a good 2 years. Started off using it gradually then got involved in the drugs trade witch didn’t help having it around me all the time I ended up doing about 3.5 grams a day completely ruined my nose and dropped about 4 stone in weight that’s about 56 pounds. The come downs became so severe it left me with crippling anxiety. Took about a year of telling myself I need to stop this before I managed to kick the habit the day I stopped being involved with cocaine was the last time I did any that was last June so been free of drugs for 7 months now. Was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but it’s possible with the right support. 

Happy to give anyone advice going through addiction or to discus.",5.365771812080535,6.364269906040268,5.505563758389262,82.12894966442956,68.06040268456375,8.10765100671141,30.33624161073825,8.238735603445708,2.1554075167785243,612,23,114,8,10,193,103,149,0.085,0.815,0.1,0.7319,0,0,5,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,9,6,0,0,12,0,11,6,1,2,2,15,20,6,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,8,6,1,2,0,0,2,3,1,2,0,0,10,2,10,5,23,9,1,30,0,1,0,0,5,9,0,2,17,73,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32487979551014873,0.0,0.14560816101443905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10133004027448964,0.0,0.11399013907211948,0.0,0.0,0.10418933440617274,0.0,0.0,0.132648044654574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12679419559594068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12835655262910195,0.15623126756568514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921946995100923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15248615186234635,0.0,0.0,0.3456022086982707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13197619658410467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13478558924671358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14294133273153894,0.08468425454832544,0.1249802124366815,0.11917471059984287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15862098933991445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998764193265568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429215943994591,0.0,0.0,0.1618968140700263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189361660400072,0.0,0.0,0.11048698846320934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16798328661590675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12725137808939885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16833578026624935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546809910869807,0.0,0.0,0.2491534676767521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16909166248236754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13023890502921606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09899379641823608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737746525449381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16555253841503642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286944225579246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18145068878425571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919115683436918
addiction,guiltyally,2020/01/01,"Always seems like a good idea till the comedown. Was drug free for 3 months, until last night. Now suffering from severe comedown and just need anyone to talk to.",3.823,6.523827300000002,3.256666666666668,89.525,76.0,5.333333333333334,20.0,6.42735559955562,0.2320000000000002,129,3,23,1,3,38,28,30,0.23800000000000002,0.5379999999999999,0.223,0.1027,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,4,6,2,0,6,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,7,12,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602062007340741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21865950625113825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3626532828142799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26229279319542403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35302025043091834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549066859475879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15277808576744195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496083067421016,0.0,0.0,0.23187623265121124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2934644033585097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846864744337578,0.0,0.3532820207289612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2513506639813323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,thebrightorangedawn,2020/01/01,"I want to get sober but can't find a treatment center that will take my insurance. I live in Northern California and I'm on state insurance. Due to a concussion I suffered a couple weeks ago when I  was arrested, I lost my job. My slumlord is evicting me and I have no where to go. 
I've tried finding a treatment center (it has to be in state) to go to through my insurance but every place I've called has told me they don't take my state HealthNet insurance. 
My poison is literally poison, alcohol. I've been a full functioning alcoholic for 15 years. I have tried to quit myself and while I was successful twice in that time, each time only lasted 4 months. 
I tried again it was not like the other times. I need medical detox this time. 
My body felt like it was shutting down so in order to function, so I picked it back up. 
I'm surviving on Body Armor super hydration drinks and V8 and vodka and as of today I haven't eaten since 12/18 because food makes me throw up. 
I'm a mess. My life is a mess, my house is a mess, and I'm trying to set it up for an estate sale because I can't fit 4 bedrooms worth of stuff in my car. I have a 17 year old cat whom I cannot find a foster for because let's be real, I can't live in my car (that has no heater) with her. 
But I have been so weak since Sunday. 
I have a heart condition in which my heartrate doesn't drop below 120. When I finally went to the hospital for the concussion, when the paramedics picked me up my heartrate was 160 and they wanted to give me adenosine again (they say it slows your heart way down but the second injection they gave me immediately after the first stopped my heart in May).
On Sunday I woke up suddenly (so I was sober at that point), I think that I had a heart attack. I'm not a doctor but after several hours of it feeling like someone was crushing my heart and like I had been given adenosine again even though I hadn't, I Dr. Googled my symptoms. I had every one that on the list.
I refuse to go to my local tiny town hospital due to the fact that any time I got for anything legit (like my appendix needing to be removed) they just call me an alcoholic and never take me seriously. 
I'm a 34 y/o female and I'll probably die soon if I can't get treatment. 2019 was the worst year of my life and I had wanted to start 2020 sober but so far I've already failed. 

Happy New Year!",2.7098134848322424,3.97974335845214,4.205218672955302,87.92705622253193,74.68228105906313,7.4494801157680355,24.937345910601355,8.032893268588372,1.2767645621181267,1843,59,401,28,38,614,227,491,0.17,0.78,0.051,-0.9961,2,0,5,0,0,0,48.0,0,1,5,7,17,20,3,0,25,0,42,24,8,3,2,44,75,30,1,6,10,0,2,5,0,2,13,1,1,0,19,14,6,2,6,2,2,8,14,12,0,4,25,3,66,8,51,44,3,86,0,3,0,0,15,32,0,2,44,252,85,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06889590901520366,0.2491837082287343,0.0,0.0,0.08576821631317684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052853660100500376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06395862588864269,0.0,0.0,0.08842005369646277,0.0,0.059763459969385424,0.0,0.14213592328454666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17266335566917718,0.0,0.0,0.15872580848859774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08599797148885707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08066321854105797,0.0,0.0,0.07955181289161835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613802119991467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05133468188292697,0.0,0.1309683607238596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03929860443388514,0.0555246489928144,0.07462535771272585,0.08514070819752098,0.2131096405591917,0.06611033714870923,0.09398181296553873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121312791096316,0.0745580737364741,0.13251369861208684,0.0,0.0621614244853444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08273656886611909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4605050251581446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07654056463547683,0.08968081206125293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07712714322612936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06335384525003976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947606330507967,0.10979476672329806,0.18985534191319645,0.0,0.1372599904996084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484280020532735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05188007277791206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829678993068491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0620369998522324,0.0,0.0,0.1152598324829154,0.05994403739068621,0.07506444148189148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08155621860435809,0.0,0.05266647343712566,0.05911112231884578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120300133432667,0.0,0.07347246048477467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379751679394955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266696857552633,0.0,0.08846470992497198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06180769474461152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08780379528956697,0.0,0.12858496801931998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06585364186609098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05501206795770309,0.0,0.0,0.06497911506684433,0.0,0.0,0.08897315392386891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08078297056372284,0.17531192989267588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049801152207156654,0.07636152080577513,0.0,0.2266017657452019,0.0,0.07367141685070774,0.0742667507418727,0.0,0.21107268414814576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13752743873285836,0.0616921466743384,0.062343941447270075,0.0,0.0,0.07204912023781945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002018113308704
addiction,clairemf,2020/01/01,"Relapsed but still hopeful. So i relapsed tonight after a few weeks sober. Thankfully im on the vivitrol shot and had only 2 drinks before i was able to stop. I feel if i wasnt on meds it could've been a whole fifth. Ive been going to intensive outpatient rehab and I feel so guilty i lost my clean time but im hopeful that of im honest in my group and with myself I can bounce back. This shit sucks and the holidays are so damn hard, i hope others did better then me tonight ❤",1.0323529411764696,2.9732271372549057,2.8487843137254916,92.80552941176472,81.54901960784314,6.04078431372549,20.9843137254902,7.1686216300943375,0.4847537254901954,376,11,84,5,10,125,72,102,0.2,0.546,0.254,0.8337,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,5,10,3,0,4,0,9,3,1,0,0,14,18,11,0,4,3,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,4,5,1,1,2,2,0,1,1,4,0,0,7,3,13,6,8,11,2,13,0,1,0,0,1,3,3,4,9,52,17,0,0.16977457731399906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13054617039522096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14446566080574036,0.0,0.0,0.15015181704954747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13555118530214064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166314451911095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17168625489047673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964868047442152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520846741479005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5058733877871321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5501570308885686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18532900635415211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885812824570876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12912121638274926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17427116388658773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13558219674972155,0.14193914863684826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15630562085690647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09899692132277754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13618292527665196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18954725257138974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,xxCaptainCoolxx,2020/01/01,"How I found my secret drug of choice (disputable) I can’t picture life without ever having a beer on Canada day again.

I can’t picture it without getting baked a little and watching rick and Morty.

I can picture it without cocaine: and fuck it would be HEAVEN vs what it is now. I don’t crave it. I’m not in withdrawal. I hate it. But once a girl from my past gets calling or a lavish party gets into gear, the lights turn on and it’s all I ever wanted. More than the thought of heaven itself. Well in thecontext  of sex at least. I’m a love, sex coke addicted piece of shit and love you all. Happy New Years",1.0973443223443229,3.2193141190476204,2.893174603174604,91.583021978022,82.41269841269842,4.829304029304031,21.597069597069602,5.8734145424116955,0.2069824175824176,473,15,98,3,13,157,83,126,0.035,0.736,0.228,0.9786,0,0,3,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,0,6,9,3,0,7,0,8,12,1,1,4,23,21,8,0,2,7,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,1,9,6,3,0,3,1,0,0,7,3,1,0,2,2,10,6,15,17,5,15,2,0,1,5,6,7,2,1,8,68,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18444799146432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17276744988386833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911705432176576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19621298129645448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3060939037572689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855140544959236,0.0,0.15641844745268274,0.26519288463307683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18011168002546088,0.0,0.16704545720168906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11950773499283245,0.0,0.1695782687895976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3054109604614275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16340999936018435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18018760962216587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615161815542579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17367667615507312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13432227107359845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18403604073323748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09979584754860547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15212700995381212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4892950665363741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201915780932078,0.0,0.0,0.10895630879161818
addiction,DPHSombreroMan,2020/01/01,"Happy New Years everyone! Hope everyone (who wanted to) avoided drugs or alcohol at any parties they might have attended tonight.

I wish you guys all luck with staying clean this year :)",5.687083333333334,8.619699375000003,5.16375,77.03958333333338,70.875,9.266666666666666,35.666666666666664,9.725611199111238,4.219404166666667,148,8,23,4,3,45,31,32,0.051,0.506,0.44299999999999995,0.9558,0,1,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,9,5,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,3,4,1,7,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,4,4,12,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26531438279296365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16882527723330895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2879027213345461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4744460368259344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458163790153506,0.0,0.2642773300769585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465781439619041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633645716929778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23977100392757564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646120715856339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14643014900079998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2854866871781878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3197425328376153
addiction,tarragon19,2020/01/01,"i need to quit my coke addiction it’s getting to a point now where i’m agitated and angry if i can’t access it or if i’m waiting around. i’m horrible to the people i love when i can’t get it. i feel paranoid and suicidal when i’m lying in bed with a comedown. i borrow money and leave myself in dept. i’m only really talkative and a nice person to be around when i’m on it. there’s so many cons to me using it, and i wish i could leave it behind but it controls my life. what can i do? i want to better myself without that around me but i don’t know where to start",0.09395833333333314,1.6373763125000025,3.3200000000000003,90.25833333333335,82.75,6.1416666666666675,19.260416666666664,7.1686216300943375,0.2987791666666668,440,11,103,6,12,160,72,128,0.14,0.759,0.10099999999999999,-0.17,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,3,11,3,0,0,4,0,7,4,0,2,0,24,24,14,1,6,6,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,9,9,1,2,2,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,17,3,16,22,0,14,0,0,0,1,2,9,0,3,5,71,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20131570823873446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4931818246349144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16332410701469882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20712120437968304,0.14744261327820418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337384261368016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19296313273619373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10148886978677484,0.0,0.0,0.3910741375704324,0.0,0.0,0.13043668363687785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16667035330948018,0.0,0.0,0.18722467431592707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13692920668525255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404485658365716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12802574933099345,0.16124523911376154,0.0,0.0,0.17457123632181235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19641747141701565,0.0,0.0,0.11830324354720685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307091752832461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20199715050668568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15949412171317512,0.0,0.0,0.10892214964790564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21235943468948806,0.17801365410285758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Naefone,2020/01/01,"Coke and drinking The only time I have a problem with Coke is when I’m drinking, no matter the occasion after a few beers I want a bag. Help!!",3.34,3.786164333333337,5.206666666666667,84.45000000000002,72.33333333333334,7.333333333333332,28.333333333333336,7.1686216300943375,1.5003333333333333,110,4,23,1,2,38,23,30,0.166,0.642,0.192,-0.3365,0,0,3,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,2,5,0,0,0,5,4,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,4,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,15,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7702669689393418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635175291282668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2990053083963721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3761877014060793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22924663986021102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23188774305153725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,danieltigerx,2020/01/01,If you cant do it Please be careful tonight. You're much better off spending money on an uber than paying for a dui.,2.152799999999999,3.470065280000004,3.4450000000000003,92.6275,76.2,5.0,24.5,3.1291,0.15539999999999976,92,3,20,0,2,30,24,25,0.077,0.746,0.177,0.3691,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,4,3,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,13,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4682774533528789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5398348693780218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3892249168299431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5812043570067935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,bitch_taco,2020/01/01,"My brother is addicted to meth and heroin.. help? Hey y'all, I'm new here and in general.

Trying to help my brother. He's appx 18mos older than me and the only person in this world that understands certain aspects of my life like my parent's divorce, etc. He's never been a great brother tbh, but I'm hoping his life experiences may help him in the future.

He is (seemingly/obviously but won't admit) addicted to heroin and meth. He's been doing oxy since at least 18y/o and went on a rave/Molly kick for a while. Bipolar runs in my family and I have no doubt he is affected. He is over 30 years old now. He can't attend a family gathering without being fucked up/falling asleep/super eccentric, etc.

I've never had a lot of love with him, as he's always been a selfish prick, however, I feel like I slightly understand why he does part of what he does. I feel that he is trying to self medicate but it's SO not helping him.

Is there anyone that has input about being here mentally, or what we, as a family, can do to help without enabling his current ways? All of us want to help but don't know what's best, as he won't willingly accept rehab (or frankly that he's doing anything that's negative) and we don't want to continue to enable his destructive behavior.

I just want my brother back...",3.3402851711026607,4.663770205323196,5.421389733840304,79.6155066539924,73.18250950570342,8.606007604562738,27.21844106463878,9.120678840339163,2.330029809885932,1016,37,196,22,20,354,147,263,0.136,0.722,0.142,-0.4775,3,0,2,0,1,0,39.0,3,1,0,3,8,13,3,1,9,0,25,10,1,1,4,40,40,18,0,4,10,5,2,2,0,4,7,0,0,2,10,10,0,0,7,0,0,3,12,5,0,0,5,2,22,8,28,29,7,24,0,0,0,2,41,8,2,6,14,127,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437545876852661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09302563372867892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817238437219344,0.0,0.0920009618000399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596644660963534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173260391582914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19567192665633815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493706333912133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093607683867236,0.3161821351049212,0.0,0.11305775741998113,0.07986915040736732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10335627366420427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12325867253463815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4496186420124441,0.0,0.0,0.11104152513188766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061441746960407176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157933726667948,0.10923858238793804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09504741956484368,0.10090286447526488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262562131995107,0.11266698722569896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17245239457528694,0.10797606604839748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11731413000396596,0.0,0.0,0.08502809481682917,0.0,0.0,0.1241394384748737,0.12106730474369892,0.0,0.0,0.09761847975066433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11663062623942567,0.0,0.0,0.09248119832500563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15180821727748933,0.0,0.0,0.2327731776478249,0.1344803010085618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978256484019585,0.08874075624185858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363869246138957,0.10088111034993748,0.0,0.0,0.21554028365602124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07199482063849683
addiction,issasecretyouknow,2020/01/02,"How to be a better person getting off drugs. I've always dabbled in coke but never been an everyday user. Recently I've been stressed out and my partner does it alot so I've been doing it everyday as more of a coping mechanism over the last couple of months (they always have it around so it's easy for me) 

The reason I mainly want to stop is that it makes me a massive dick the next day. I'm so angry and moody and have a quick temper.

I'm currently Weaning myself off it, that bit is fine but I would like to ask if anyone has any advice for me coping with the morning after without being such an ass? I'm fine while doing it and have a great time but it just ruins the next morning for me and me and my partner start every morning on a shitty start because I'm a massive shit head when I wake up. I love my partner and feel like I push them away because everyday starts off on a bad note. I've always suffered from deoression/anxiety and this is a symptom for me so I'm not sure if it's just the fact that the coke is bringing me down mentally. 

Not sure if this is the right sub hut any help appreciated.

Thanks",3.165173453996985,4.161952923076928,4.8055857214680735,85.12536199095022,73.1880341880342,7.215284062342888,25.73051784816491,7.510576382923642,1.2480400201106083,880,28,183,10,17,298,126,234,0.20199999999999999,0.649,0.149,-0.9573,1,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,2,1,12,17,2,1,20,0,17,10,5,3,4,34,33,22,0,5,11,0,1,2,3,1,2,0,0,4,14,11,2,1,2,0,0,2,4,7,0,0,3,1,18,10,26,27,4,35,0,2,0,3,9,13,3,4,22,125,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13374094271404524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34164294753557983,0.0,0.0,0.1861430707887115,0.0,0.10469982282173468,0.0,0.0,0.09569779404636987,0.0,0.0,0.12183708947136752,0.12794843282537707,0.0,0.12858729674161976,0.0,0.11427489088334453,0.16686083284339887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12104420425820575,0.14941895226486895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514363098420914,0.0,0.08826531465696301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197697363858036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587176325603737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11531298303157675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692020466806328,0.09777495681789083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07150527034910105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15089194417414414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14046092623944678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09173638608286803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156161445291828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337287002722772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12352420385781986,0.0,0.09135711738089226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13792571668295134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10924274338858944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055571853884726,0.0,0.2911107131164397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11950349532413372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407179617694233,0.1351357043639365,0.0,0.0,0.11688025690847068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14048790598945968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2906170142411913,0.0,0.0,0.11442359897759405,0.15677610773019393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579835215789629,0.14225306421137615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12600506520321242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980591777702982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.080725345273355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13193105109729236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722355066725608,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,IvarTheBloody,2020/01/02,"Games fucked my life up Hi all,

I know my addictions are nothing compared to 99% of people on here but I thought I would share anyway.

I finally realised today I'm a addict, I'm not addicted to drugs but fucking video games.

I started from a young age, 7-8 with the original call of duty but it only really got bad when I was 12-13.

I did fuck all at school except play cod and halo before moving on to dota and league and my schooling suffered a lot.

My gcses where completely rubbish and I failed at becoming a electrician to.

But hay  at least I got to prestige 10 in all most every cod since MW and had 3000h on dota 2 with probably even more hours in league of legends (not to mention 4 digits spent on fucking skins).

And now at 23 working in Paris as a developer , I feel like shit all the time because everyone I work with has a masters degree and I feel like I wasted 10 plus years of my life.

There are strikes on in Paris at the moment so I'm forced to work from home but I find it impossible.

As soon as I try to work my brain is telling me just one game, then I give in and I end up playing 7h straight.

So this weekend I'm going to sell my ps4 xbox and gaming pc (work laptop can't play anything anyway).

I'm going to start studying instead and try and retake my gcse and A levels and try and get a masters degree.",3.093736462093865,4.032770675090255,4.636048736462096,86.49277346570398,73.29602888086644,7.2728519855595675,26.84638989169675,7.554174236665415,1.3675070036101078,1035,36,220,12,20,348,161,277,0.135,0.785,0.08,-0.9667,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,8,13,14,5,0,11,0,9,13,3,1,4,41,31,27,0,1,9,0,3,2,0,1,6,0,1,0,3,18,0,1,5,10,2,3,3,8,0,1,7,3,26,6,41,23,8,40,0,2,0,4,10,20,5,2,19,134,29,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3533551542358566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889118692572756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021310283485408,0.06586325900664196,0.11932726790524595,0.09193837876900823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12061400727969494,0.110326075146336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11328317818892406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12529795475797273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09569584390684023,0.0,0.0,0.07136273583934401,0.0,0.09103261369149647,0.1032416744478028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926164628685199,0.1543748091274073,0.0,0.11835806993273862,0.09875121734611088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3995436269861667,0.056449078685383215,0.10364665613162972,0.12280898244342525,0.0,0.17282699150884592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10837799355925484,0.0,0.10640260920546163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05937873328493794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526308267008661,0.10557070670887554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185603689620483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114834788114002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367213846586504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321412140148888,0.08217312842859725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749048328067992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649083690822415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06921642501381023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21869471558983933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090669010586332,0.0893759810044237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529496835139545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443613506721364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577570012322118,0.06300193692242173,0.0,0.10241407303579243,0.0,0.0,0.2200664879367114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39329041225713696,0.0,0.0,0.07675210281555528,0.0,0.0,0.06957746913259184
addiction,AliyaG,2020/01/02,Dear Big Brother Why? I always thought that you retained enough of yourself to at least care for our safety. I always felt like you were still in there. I guess I was wrong. I wish that I wasn't.,-0.19866666666666788,2.1045378000000032,0.5800000000000018,102.77833333333334,96.0,2.666666666666667,16.666666666666668,3.1291,-1.242833333333333,152,4,34,0,6,46,31,40,0.07,0.591,0.33899999999999997,0.8689,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,2,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,1,9,3,5,3,2,4,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,2,23,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.48341727710537896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29617108205537124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001509517131443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27891328691014244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3200044240609624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14191738324204628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23198347015339785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306144059603724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621195348100028,0.0,0.3340459684927128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3176021750238393,0.0,0.0
addiction,Privy21,2020/01/02,"First day of getting some Recovery help tomorrow, can I have some advice please? Hey thanks for reading this, I guess I'll just get right to it.

I've been addicted to pills (Ecstasy) since September 2018, I've absolutely wrecked my brain because of it and I'm finally going to a local Recovery Near You (UK) for help tomorrow. I don't know how it got this bad, I never thought I could get addicted to pills, I guess it's a mental addiction more than a psychical one, but I'm addicted nevertheless. I've put it off for so long and I won't lie I'm really scared about tomorrow.

​

I've probably always had addiction problems, I used to be obese though not anymore as the drugs have changed that, I guess that's one of the only real ""benefits"" if you can call it that, that's came out of this whole shit situation. I'm scared of if this all won't work in the end and I need some guidance really. If anyone's been in my situation, pills I mean, could I keep in contact with you? I don't really have anyone I can talk to as my parents know of it but I can see it in their face they're disappointed in me and it makes me cry.

​

I started to take them as a fun thing to do while going out to town and came to realize it did actually help me with my social anxiety, I don't suffer from it anymore. But a fun thing to do turned into a weekly thing, I don't know how I'm still alive, I can't even remember the amount I've taken. I've always had anger problems but they've made it way worse, I just snap at the slightest of things, I have a terrible memory, I feel sad often (serotonin levels) among a bunch of other shit.

​

Thank you for listening to me.",2.8841932367149745,4.261189631884061,4.750434782608696,83.76294685990342,74.42028985507247,8.705314009661837,26.11111111111111,9.250403328903447,2.094516908212561,1313,46,278,31,27,449,166,345,0.16,0.755,0.086,-0.985,1,0,1,0,0,0,50.0,0,4,2,2,10,17,3,2,13,0,25,14,4,5,2,51,60,20,0,8,10,1,1,0,0,2,10,1,0,0,25,12,1,1,8,1,0,5,9,12,0,3,11,3,36,5,44,44,8,35,0,3,1,0,16,16,2,10,13,177,61,2,0.0,0.0,0.07279532231179332,0.4066054150627376,0.0,0.07289473530088877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414035533989673,0.24247549328299484,0.2719283601426977,0.0,0.0,0.05706603913327131,0.0,0.14795916133092651,0.10431906975269896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062284875173117364,0.0454732709197811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08327424898905951,0.07617126119039355,0.1706368097488036,0.0,0.0,0.07891309635409792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911830526175295,0.0,0.0819406387640899,0.04810850452823435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865081371365056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06607026590399956,0.0,0.0,0.04927021634432046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03771817943477615,0.0,0.0,0.08171670610850068,0.0,0.06345165674429128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169206149352681,0.0,0.08478970239643542,0.0,0.05966155278119414,0.0,0.24652902240773994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15000117642213692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630470469506393,0.0,0.0,0.12298868593492066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06601546347933145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07058491402144952,0.049793673905612464,0.0,0.0,0.08125734445737827,0.0,0.0,0.07517562239923749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055312282787634004,0.0575333396927782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10109689765906987,0.05673392097076072,0.0,0.0,0.08283047041051811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08188444246533047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042753222802893,0.1427573539493962,0.0,0.07498998213243872,0.0,0.0,0.07461658333134387,0.08490703043180915,0.14336508521849628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450317552139723,0.06370491501214831,0.0,0.0,0.14936801266022642,0.0,0.059443669972161564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15314425802985362,0.061706910031972664,0.1676989502358561,0.0,0.07604163207281596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05279971337907408,0.0,0.0595727785946455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05608720652216746,0.059957757835006814,0.0,0.13735667908664734,0.0,0.0,0.19823412468266285,0.0,0.07329058080192682,0.05922120631236594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08113945848341339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06442733567749938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059211147354964265,0.05983672967663287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328421268688392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05430706508136094,0.0,0.07602010096873958,0.0,0.0,0.2719283601426977,0.0
addiction,daburai710,2020/01/02,"I dont know where to start... I'm a 23 year old male, homeless due to family problems that honestly I'm not trying to make excuses but they kicked me out because I warned my own mother about her new husband and something I saw that I wasnt sure what happened but didnt look right with my sister. I've already had been dealing with mental illness and suicidal thoughts alone because my parents had their own lives, careers, and families that they just didnt want to put their time into me even after I was Hospitalized for suicidal thoughts and I had been abusing substances, whatever it may be, and they didnt even notice I mean one day I took some xanax and they never noticed. When I was on painkillers no one even noticed or cared to stop me as a child. My father beat me and mentally abused me, my sisters never were there or cared enough to be there for me or ask if i was ok during my severe depression episodes. Even after begging my mom and family to just check on me or invite me to go out or just do family stuff since I had no friends and till this day have no friends that care enough to ask or check in on me. I abused drugs since I was in freshman in highschool, first started smoking weed but as the issues got worse I just constantly wanted to escape or die. I was taking many things, ambien, acid, benzos, painkillers, sharpies, alcohol, and cough syrup while I was on prozac and anti depressants cause the o boy thing my own mother knew what to do was to medicate me and leave me tf alone and deal with it on my own and deal with withdrawals alone when I tried stopping as a teen and it was painful. I have so much anger I just cant explain it how much I hate them and have told them that. I wanted to get better I wanted to be someone who had a promising future but no they were to focused on their new families they just fucking kicked me out to focus on their step kids. I'm hanging by a thread to my life, I've been suicidal since 2010 and it's just getting worse. I have a job, been trying to get a different one that isnt toxic but I get so depressed I dont even show up to my other interviews because I just cant deal with the past still it still has the same sting and it drives me crazy I yell at myself for not being able to get rid of my past and the pain. I still hope for the day I catch someone on their bad day out here in the hood and they just put one in my head I could care less if they rob me as long as I can get a bullet in my head we are good. Currently I am addicted to substances that are way milder than the hard drugs I was doing before but it's still an addiction...I've been taking kratom daily heavily since 2017, and been dabbing heavily everyday since 2015 and honestly the times I've tried quitting, I swear my body was in pain and I was about to die. Mind you I dont have the luxury to not go to work, I'm homeless living in an broken rv trailer that's not very warm during the winter. I dont have any support or anyone to talk to me or just be by my side to watch tv or anything, I'm not going to get a dog and make he or she suffer with me in such a horrible environment I wouldnt want my dog to live where I live and it drives me crazy cause I know having a dog would help out but I'm in no position to care for one. 

I may be rambling I'm not sure but I just have no where else to express myself, I've had so much happen i never open up about it or ever able to explain it all. I wish I could afford rehab and have the support system needed after rehab but I know I dont. No one cares, and maybe you all may say that there are people who care but its subjective and most the time even people I hear that are supposedly great and caring end up treating me like shit so I isolate. I dont know how to be a proper person and interact or deal with social cues or the way social relationships go about. I mean make fun of me if you think I cant be addicted to kratom and concentrated cannabis but anything can be addictive, I'll admit I get addicted to anything that gives me pleasure or a sense of peace since in so use to nothing but hell.

What makes me more angry is that I have people who abandoned me and can help me right now but decide to just send me letter saying they always have loved me and whatever lying 2 faced bullshit they tell me but words are just words. They knew I was looking for help but no there excuse is that they dont know how to help, yet spend all their time helping others. Yea I hope people like this fuck off cause they just assumed they couldnt help or so they tell themselves to feel better about the situation and not like they chose to abandon someone.",3.8384344079157344,4.491522093361,4.71142738589212,87.69919661666138,71.32365145228215,7.675046281519313,25.82661985317587,7.721216555744035,1.194144449409512,3654,106,790,42,65,1186,369,964,0.19699999999999998,0.6729999999999999,0.13,-0.9975,5,4,4,0,2,0,53.0,1,3,24,6,52,49,6,0,30,2,84,26,5,11,9,170,163,86,5,18,55,8,3,3,2,5,18,4,0,5,38,49,1,4,18,2,3,13,35,17,0,7,38,12,131,32,103,108,17,97,1,6,4,3,84,37,4,27,47,544,169,5,0.07989315857449017,0.1419904930272029,0.0,0.17419067103862862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04269074472755398,0.0,0.12411782665082816,0.04408204357809506,0.0,0.033238754020734555,0.0,0.0,0.027165043741898737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02793157704187297,0.0,0.09861789325278536,0.0,0.07468931848350152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03335372513511812,0.07305319188828173,0.0,0.033991596768858,0.0,0.0,0.07065900631047058,0.0,0.04437164427645581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3258255990663677,0.12310842215908208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04316806092723039,0.0,0.06378818615624998,0.0,0.0,0.1030489557688876,0.2059158459836967,0.10321779061742453,0.0,0.08291648509728969,0.04173567315917185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3277196539263695,0.0,0.0926506995472782,0.0,0.033370241161395836,0.0,0.035380812475599176,0.08255098959491919,0.0,0.1583060332443806,0.036133967950137694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882903989875061,0.0,0.020198190748041658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03397853993501119,0.0,0.0,0.06172525613110244,0.07385993772091012,0.16696351154661818,0.03832039882407038,0.09081024631288924,0.03350529545352388,0.031948928645475765,0.044041244688001004,0.0,0.0,0.07064925627621363,0.0,0.03578428873356998,0.039438976880300514,0.08199342987423369,0.0,0.045022698085676265,0.0,0.1606521003509273,0.0,0.0,0.07935193326843554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041693850328761335,0.03964081608428964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10976797641484834,0.0,0.0,0.04229765963447778,0.0,0.0,0.028215450311280556,0.058547642580268115,0.0,0.14109424546358587,0.03535146562367023,0.06709013159641658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03605334742532233,0.0,0.10665860745803137,0.04049956153372477,0.04013170807922485,0.08702707116962376,0.0,0.04024197603861262,0.08051351277164649,0.0,0.04033465759042173,0.046784950865267856,0.0,0.0,0.08809599626534183,0.029619882380223988,0.09242779372446458,0.0771613103970249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03832982019131281,0.13643833584802004,0.04191721522404592,0.0,0.1624130157038099,0.0,0.1275179304146421,0.0,0.04435594893954866,0.0,0.0762670599586756,0.11077571333749593,0.03487981222223131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03822348147452037,0.0,0.08031469100582916,0.0,0.04248810419362199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04288767656453426,0.0,0.06822832089381255,0.0,0.06353424637501694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045128264252852136,0.041004589590587864,0.19826533909781632,0.044901628814925716,0.0,0.0814410139839908,0.10153982099559987,0.030752828348609214,0.0,0.0,0.056548788846854624,0.0,0.12760555927957598,0.06679425794710428,0.0,0.0,0.045729276148535,0.13108522244420825,0.09066180957356827,0.07529835645976253,0.0,0.06006971242175321,0.03210754728155782,0.06983014202761242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053077464542467256,0.025596155035090173,0.0,0.06342624375573312,0.09317268649709463,0.0,0.0,0.03817066838200979,0.044382119413398084,0.10848442069483233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034501018736933765,0.0,0.032960111456195665,0.11780763721899196,0.06341547055599919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04593659475652935,0.0,0.0,0.029081585482577537,0.0,0.08141795405089394,0.028376903802307805,0.0,0.0,0.025724287360937962
addiction,TeapThrow,2020/01/02,"When do withdrawals stop for you guys? Hi I am currently on month 1 of quitting all drugs I have been taking to find healthier coping methods. When do the withdrawals stop?  I am constantly sad, angry, confused and I honestly react to people (Getting angry easily) so its hard to communicate to people about issues. Also I have been doing it since 15 years old every day and i am currently 22. The items I have taken in the past are weed, opiates, kratom, and mdma. Similar experiences/coping methods would help a bunch too, thank you.",3.7518367346938746,6.499444183673472,5.089142857142857,76.03085714285714,76.55102040816327,7.593469387755103,26.126530612244892,8.548686976883017,2.4225395918367347,422,16,67,9,10,140,70,98,0.17600000000000002,0.745,0.078,-0.8496,2,0,3,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,0,1,6,4,0,1,4,0,13,1,0,1,1,10,17,7,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,9,2,9,13,3,14,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,1,12,48,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778271297524381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403001623549105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434085772552468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578755874747073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18735412545557945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20323977543097504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11617778882757793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201786869385959,0.0,0.0,0.19919751334041588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14904818117752336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320937931423898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17749153748223515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333371804859111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21227484506769664,0.3083231135266233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365151020586917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18394461148359245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3718182073575645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671926111285513,0.0,0.0,0.20472602627630004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15796342120437565,0.0,0.0,0.14319731524930382
addiction,sublime_424,2020/01/02,"Existential dread before bed Hey guys,
For some context, never been a full blown addict but have dabbled in drugs and alcohol since my teens. Never got so out of hand that I had to go to rehab but I’ve fallen pretty deep in alcohol and kratom. Always managed to cut it down once it started to become habit forming and effecting the following day. 

My question to everyone is this dealing with this terrible feeling I get a few hours before sleep. Without any booze or Kratom I get this dread that overcomes me. It’s a massive and intense emptiness that needs to be filled. I used to use alcohol then started with kratom. I thought kratom was my saviour, but after my tolerance became higher and higher, it started to effect me the next day and I knew it had to go. 

How do you guys deal? Thx",3.8449038461538483,5.923090322368424,4.573947368421057,83.09493927125509,73.40789473684211,7.045344129554657,28.797570850202426,7.882392219407189,2.013243319838057,627,26,113,9,13,201,98,152,0.12300000000000001,0.768,0.109,-0.5333,0,0,4,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,2,2,4,1,2,5,0,8,9,2,5,2,27,23,13,0,1,5,0,2,0,0,0,6,0,1,2,11,9,4,0,6,0,0,5,3,4,0,0,7,2,13,0,19,15,4,22,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,3,11,75,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15219801764412785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4476092787663243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11616862007023845,0.0,0.0,0.0949411534402126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15419081970384296,0.2375995735675861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18007677098670855,0.2878683077422185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16190594732033994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334055383162273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705921751956093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14588333189589964,0.0,0.15868977814009028,0.0,0.1116607124067345,0.0,0.0,0.2764762592507005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13748999553937266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352075353386993,0.21535522954941394,0.0,0.14847926793605748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14868254607062292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14203590351589113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15639773095591636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11548873962194635,0.0,0.13971312917418136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964549195895468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11083657360841204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.241160407829178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458127785991345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Spirit_Zay,2020/01/02,"Teenager feeling overwhelmed by addctions [Help?] So, I've been dealing with these addictions for the past 4 years. Started them around 13, and I'm now 17, soon to be 18.

Some of the worst things I was addicted to was MDMA, snorting pills, and Alcohol. Nothing crazy, but nothing minor like caffeine.

After getting rid of the ""harder"" drugs from my life, I'm now overwhelmed by these 4 main addictions that seem to keep me enslaved to my depression, anxiety, and lethargy in life.

I'm a highly ambitious and motivated individual, but these 4 things really chain me down from my full potential and cause me so much stress, unhappiness, and lack of motivation.

These 4 things are weed, nicotine, caffeine, and porn.

I've been on and off with quitting these things, picking them back up, quitting again, you get the loop.

I've went through periods were I've abstained from some, or all of these things for a month.

But I always seem to relapse on one thing, then the another, then I'm back into a full-blown loop of these addictions.

Drink coffee to brush away the fogginess and tiredness brought about by weed. Hit nicotine to deal with my anxiety and mood swings. Smoke weed to brush away the anxiety and over-stimulation brought on by the caffeine; and to brush away the boredom I experience with life. Then watch porn to relax and take my mind elsewhere than my mental issues. Wake up the next morning, and do it all again.

I hate this loop I'm stuck in, but for the last 4 years I can't seem to escape the loop.

I am consistently involved in support groups for my addictions here on reddit, but I always struggle at staying on my path. It's so hard to quit one thing, because all my addictions trigger me to want to use the other drug.

If I get rid of weed, I can't sleep at night because of the nicotine and caffeine.

If I get rid of nicotine or caffeine, then I can't barely get through the day because the weed has me slumped all day.

I don't know where to start, and how to tackle my addictions one at a time.

Could somebody please help me find a way to get on my path and stick to it? I want to be completely sober and away from these things, as I recognize I have problems with them.

Any advice would help, please! Thank you for reading my post and have a great day:)",5.080721336370541,6.138683560364469,5.250029612756265,83.48603910402431,68.749430523918,8.404586180713741,31.262034927866363,8.648137234880735,2.3406454973424453,1789,73,352,28,30,563,200,439,0.121,0.773,0.106,-0.8557,0,0,6,0,0,0,64.0,0,2,3,6,15,14,1,4,22,0,19,19,2,7,4,63,50,37,0,8,9,0,2,1,0,1,14,0,0,0,22,26,2,2,8,3,0,3,4,8,0,3,9,7,38,5,73,36,11,57,0,3,1,2,12,25,0,9,27,233,60,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.515300815494028,0.0,0.06598660722279559,0.0,0.07216583148630773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123757543600294,0.0,0.0,0.045920678627345314,0.07080795195641965,0.15497392072985322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06011335051903612,0.0,0.0,0.2537753741446969,0.10384819646147392,0.0,0.12349150545373265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06936883474216983,0.0,0.0,0.07080077941341527,0.0,0.0,0.05391481833295389,0.0,0.0,0.130647994506483,0.13923475297940888,0.05816090998664291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06615075656435353,0.15661977351971348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06605436777079317,0.0,0.0,0.034143682410643916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061718458714745135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21168043651259946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07444876080014051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0604909323340388,0.06666893673792387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357857830290267,0.07134598769386924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0704806485818624,0.0,0.060021104235812875,0.0,0.0,0.037111075663358736,0.05504352133800665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430889607667072,0.03299028345474269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805133796716313,0.0,0.06818302471190163,0.0,0.05389941070877818,0.0,0.049640118029296604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07181573531238875,0.06336951927393089,0.0,0.12958796397109576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13727413748886064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06446216658972374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482487458199601,0.0,0.0,0.0646722040773875,0.0,0.0,0.06461422353988272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21546984389550305,0.06754527821891071,0.0,0.04325952818003757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18442214614988653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06757577164752422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09559192262211744,0.07197480199252165,0.0,0.0,0.07735195545039752,0.07059388673829718,0.0,0.0,0.07662884442148171,0.0,0.0,0.05077190350888014,0.0,0.0,0.062169793160684335,0.0,0.0,0.3588955298238136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03937553933403333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058321650750414636,0.0,0.0,0.0796583535808743,0.053599793011052485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06259820965156859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047969246518643344,0.0,0.0,0.08697035381519662
addiction,recoverysortof,2020/01/02,"The power of any winter cold/flu/sickness I don't know about y'all, but being sick just takes me to a dark place, every time.  Early on in recovery it was just like being ill, and I wanted to use to fix it.  Now, it's not quite like that, but just feeling ""off"" and ""not quite myself"" for an extended period of time makes me think really negative and dark thoughts.  It's been about 2 weeks since I've felt well.  Annoyed it messed up my holidays a bit. Wanted to vent a little.  And to remind anyone else that is struggling with something similar that you are not alone, and we will get to the other side of this if we just hold on.",5.601960132890363,4.836841953488378,6.324274640088596,82.54395348837213,67.44961240310077,9.541971207087485,26.95570321151716,8.841846274778883,1.7259470653377629,488,11,104,7,7,161,90,129,0.165,0.721,0.114,-0.8867,1,1,1,0,0,0,19.0,2,2,0,3,8,6,1,1,6,0,8,2,0,2,0,28,19,8,0,3,10,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,10,8,0,1,5,1,0,0,5,3,1,0,4,2,10,3,18,12,1,15,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,1,9,70,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080426947250424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13659977107770005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404542936138966,0.2058169857618227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21930007480341485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16780268593580774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692432279929417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156686138924513,0.0,0.19286851205321395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10494727006651064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11039393562104836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19627171472255772,0.20132640131009172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13408354410047968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20986836809407988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4273039544142153,0.0,0.0,0.12868367417382964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166163300347351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15464099201624185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099949098355464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15103065990758513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871059408123928,0.0,0.15946984035200315,0.2342600248893957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734888154861916,0.0,0.0,0.2369588862542245,0.0,0.1611273110241613,0.0,0.18060794979612535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,fakemarx,2020/01/02,"Repost:Teenage addiction/dependence ? Repost: Teeenage drug addiction/dependence question.

Addictive personality/ High dependence ?

Am I Drug Dependent

Im posting this here because i don’t know where else to do so (I do not intend to undermine what anybody is going through by putting this here, sorry in advance for my naivety)
    I’m 18 in a few months, doing really good in school as i always have and in the school week i’m happy and don’t really think about doing drugs. However, I’m on christmas break now and it’s only the first day yet im still trying to find some sort of fun, i know that the fun i’m looking for is in drugs.
    I started smoking when i was 14 odd, since then i’ve inhaled lighter fluids, did some xans,mdma,coke,ket,speed,balloons etc. No, that’s not a flex, it’s so i can provide some context to my behaviour for anyone willing to give me some advice. I’ve never seen myself as an addict, but i’m completely aware that my behaviour isn’t exactly normal for a 17 year old. I don’t really know too many 17 year olds who get bored when they’re home alone so try to get a buzz off popping 10 co-cadamol pills and sniffing 2 more (:/ i know). Am i a drug addict? Ive had periods of smoking everyday for months but i don’t smoke anymore, but i’ll get cravings every now and then. I did xans on and off for a few weeks last summer and haven’t done them in over a year yet sometimes i’ll crave them too. I mean as i’m typing i’m literally so fucking bored i’m just wishing i was high on anything. This is my main point, im aware of poly-addiction but reading other peoples stories makes me feel like i’m obviously over exaggerating in my mind because i’m aware there are some teenagers who go through it 10x worse. Im just having cravings to get high on anything and seems I have done quite a few drugs for my age it’s as if there’s so many things for me to reminisce on and think i wish i was feeling that again. Ive done all of these drugs alone and at parties, ive lied about when ive used them, and have let them affect my mental health but the past month has been really positive but as soon as the holidays started (about 13 hours ago) im already bored and trying to seek a high.

Any advice is massively respected, sorry if this formats weirdly.",2.0154457478005905,4.071739060215055,3.605139296187683,88.03861803519064,78.82795698924731,6.7218963831867065,25.406891495601172,7.7669595915474945,1.4143870967741932,1793,69,371,29,44,594,225,465,0.071,0.8420000000000001,0.086,0.8617,1,2,8,0,0,0,51.0,0,0,4,3,27,11,1,0,15,0,39,13,0,6,4,56,75,36,0,5,12,0,2,1,0,1,12,0,1,1,18,12,0,0,12,2,0,4,10,5,0,1,11,5,37,6,50,62,12,64,0,0,2,1,9,23,1,12,36,218,55,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734676053555333,0.0,0.12256568633427893,0.055591676490364166,0.0,0.0,0.12990441119780413,0.06920583533320562,0.0,0.05218260204667413,0.0,0.0,0.04264728654629247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06219487622499195,0.04385069212891831,0.0,0.10321562745866454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07645905616011782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06575384374974604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04044497762204588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925328538861387,0.0,0.0,0.5090937233333035,0.0,0.05238902798944872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06994205791886494,0.0,0.0,0.05283877405716087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06341959444149951,0.044802490716370415,0.0,0.0,0.05731894372388159,0.05334401603771457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057977560393480926,0.1310607261920451,0.0601604416597236,0.07128298103698344,0.05260105411944195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675961803933869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06666144912233671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26504075044716713,0.06290668895713394,0.0,0.061760101121044166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3387063590729329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13786265579393478,0.051119820028553455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06412873656995657,0.0,0.030638616714605788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052663490878311736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04186170504738945,0.12716316028337374,0.0,0.06831331612639831,0.0,0.0,0.06320039243531482,0.0,0.06332269207253899,0.0,0.1501717972306753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048368467471906686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061445851280937935,0.0,0.0,0.1316144016455428,0.0,0.0,0.047696393529062214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059867070176739624,0.0434775996862055,0.05475895274293418,0.0,0.0,0.05928446714186349,0.0,0.060062135432515824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06304432405384976,0.07025340019138476,0.06670345800177516,0.06273040645648363,0.0,0.1607033301161064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12693868928895755,0.0,0.057091956154533316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05187720175138709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06202519110021335,0.14040511281047727,0.08877778459373213,0.0,0.050083030449002405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041664019778512994,0.08036847417853768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12773491787292282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05416427251849426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10060986997953753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442347112087287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06391034833980079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115618859714855
addiction,aaronrb1991,2020/01/02,"Advice needed Hi guys, ive been smoking weed almost everyday from 13 years of age im now 28. It got heavy when i was about 16. I have been also taking cocaine and mdma since i was 16, i dont know a life without drugs. I always relapse after about 6 weeks. I train alot in the gym but my weight always goes down whe  i relapse. 

My question is how long does it take to start feeling like a normal person again or have i likely done serious mental damage. I suffer from adhd and when i stop the weed my thoughts go haywire. I cant focus on simple tasks like cleaning or working anymore. Ive recently lost my job due to my mental health.",1.8616157760814216,3.7515527633587813,3.710248091603052,87.90572837150131,78.61832061068702,5.282697201017811,22.36704834605598,5.985473137389443,0.4322513994910939,496,15,98,3,12,167,94,131,0.126,0.809,0.064,-0.8402,1,0,2,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,8,7,0,0,5,0,12,4,0,1,0,16,22,9,0,2,4,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,1,2,2,2,1,1,4,1,0,1,3,4,0,0,8,2,18,3,12,14,1,18,0,3,0,0,4,3,0,5,17,58,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886578563595176,0.15339774000765424,0.0,0.0,0.15719146298163714,0.0,0.0,0.1255357860823098,0.2612376583066502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155680659706815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13737309241327306,0.16064368174959884,0.1839778327073632,0.0,0.1820454203480781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07937313248501911,0.11214559356949508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921459601881701,0.0,0.12555018307160207,0.0,0.0,0.1554335639443029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16686098608565894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16956390181279565,0.0,0.15577710826291027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627137195872805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11087867738346234,0.230075547318996,0.0,0.0,0.13892118355993002,0.0,0.0,0.17136076250307938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31639515616901404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11639769510465428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15380576736029192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13706772012914967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17585203721406842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15499749906872295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12985437840865366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11111031094317064,0.0,0.0,0.13124119757577982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360568479556069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462352968765365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12591882066594878,0.19115773036634198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15132183656302026,0.0,0.11428234172938677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10108911705274387
addiction,sleepy_moody,2020/01/02,"Seeking Advice Hi,

My Mother has been an alcoholic off and on my entire life. She lives with my Dad and younger brother currently. I live in the city far away. During my visit over the holidays I have discovered that my Mother's physical health is starting to decline more rapidly after a back surgery in October. I also discovered that she hasn't been stopped from drinking a minimum 3 large cans of beer a day. This in combination with her insane smoking habits, and lack of overall of physical activity caused by her depression and anxiety is sending her on a downward spiral with her health.

I've tried to reason with her many times over the years to varying levels of success but she has always gone back. I know this battle never ends and I accept that. My question now is it morally okay for me, as well as talking my brother and Dad into taking away any alcohol she gets ahold of, and ruin any cigarettes she finds in order to try and preserve whatever health she has left? They live in a small town and I have considered calling all taxi services in our town to try an enact a ""No Deliveries"" list for our home address, this is to prevent her from getting things delivered to the house while my brother and Dad our at their jobs during the day.

It genuinely feels like the alcoholism has such a strong grasp that this is one of the only courses of action left. My brother has left the house to live on his own for periods of time and has told her it's because of the drinking, which did not stop her and continues on with statements like ""It's my life."" or ""I know my own body and I'm fine."" The Doctor and Nurses have told us multiple times her health is very poor for her age.

Any input is welcome, and thank you. It feels like this is the right thing to do, but I just want to make sure.",6.466794871794875,6.384501056980059,6.6516509971509965,78.63200641025642,65.4957264957265,9.755042735042737,33.504415954415954,9.3871,2.9270238176638186,1425,56,271,24,20,458,187,351,0.071,0.8220000000000001,0.107,0.882,2,0,7,0,0,0,30.0,4,1,2,2,7,15,1,0,20,1,23,14,1,3,3,46,38,22,0,2,5,9,2,3,0,0,10,0,2,0,17,21,6,3,10,4,1,4,4,3,1,1,6,2,44,12,51,32,5,52,1,2,0,0,42,27,0,2,23,190,61,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827436868955453,0.0,0.28962209834042896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224090957148334,0.07516600102389523,0.0,0.0,0.18429280211081095,0.0,0.06910606859754273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16974551264578214,0.13892416003801727,0.0,0.05506741009653975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034187975383936,0.0,0.0,0.0922421895918068,0.0,0.0,0.09279898378348007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11651727242849826,0.0,0.07780544912918766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924617549848264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769879228473938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08001004445317532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09135223453328342,0.12907076040583873,0.0,0.0,0.08256460225544605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09439267392542362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38408775005141815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09061342403608937,0.0,0.0,0.20846904602777416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08964360157787614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09929156577220047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944478995266875,0.0,0.12761263949090168,0.13239943228286594,0.0,0.3190700286889768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06029934961157465,0.09158556550622438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06967196216596676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06121337007734552,0.06870387876853869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011959339627126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09287948018308828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07714564202622944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06393961575261199,0.0,0.0,0.15104829916640197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513971876354733,0.0,0.06792071782507222,0.0726078940965972,0.0,0.08316838027889578,0.0,0.0,0.12002919097557338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15802528828857962,0.0,0.0,0.17263802950586693,0.0,0.18399471454174499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10866194658544943,0.0,0.0,0.0745358797119361,0.05328195499928511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08122206181561789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05817281264228648
addiction,Praise_Bob_Dobbs,2020/01/02,"Another Surreal Day (happy post) TODAY IS THE DAY!! My wife is being induced today. I'm going to be a Father!! 

I remember at lowest. Taking and taking from everyone around me. Chipping away from everyone that loved me. I never thought I would even be able to take care of myself. 

It all feels so surreal. Looking back at the time that I have taken since getting sober. Rebuilding myself one step at a time. First I got clean. Then I got a job. Then I started  paying my own bills. Then I got a better  Job. Then I got married. Then I earned my loved ones trust back. Then I got promoted. Then I bought a house. Then we decided to have a baby. NOW I AM HAVING A BABY! 

I am ready to move passed taking care of myself, I'm ready to give my life to my child. This post is some odd mix of bragging, ranting, and ecstatic joy. I list want anyone reading this to know that life can still be good. I thought I had blew all the good I'd ever be given. I am so full of Joy that I could explode! 

KEEP GOING!!!!!!",-0.08207516339869159,2.217382524509805,2.280196078431373,92.17199346405228,91.40196078431372,4.9830065359477125,18.33986928104575,6.605766666666668,0.17083790849673175,761,22,160,10,27,258,110,204,0.023,0.74,0.237,0.9925,3,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,1,0,0,4,9,11,0,0,10,0,18,4,0,1,4,20,48,12,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,7,4,0,1,7,1,3,5,1,0,0,3,11,2,30,11,18,30,5,35,0,0,1,2,7,6,0,1,22,110,37,6,0.10962487751562322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11495124244428286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766522632642843,0.0,0.0,0.0975893828126092,0.0,0.0,0.10299618105622543,0.16858952813931968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695429559139086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22353973748454373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08752654443875578,0.0,0.0,0.14139795391547094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07240619770222566,0.09916197785556326,0.0,0.20950253667419216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05542963193091882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09324686481289447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057274473901951235,0.10516217164006034,0.1246046883968448,0.1838962922860388,0.4383851448619505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11669772058169528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12649239013523195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21757155107632212,0.09743962809475057,0.0,0.0,0.060246965744362425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15486258596414598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09205728738220864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19788146399765197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11651389585167075,0.0,0.0,0.08454946369937763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485693082374316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20998065908985544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10965454356436304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12418361613249684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068283151315004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759305254170615,0.0,0.08754656879220386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32969705962963564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740598150595193,0.12784629531854427,0.0,0.2078231315686601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06465959304135263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07787436769570648,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,jsilva5avilsj,2020/01/02,"I’m right on the cusp I feel like I’m at the point where everything goes wrong. I’ve been here before. Winter kind of takes hold of me. The cold has always been a reminder of my darkest depression. Maybe it’s just seasonal depression, maybe it’s the holidays winding down. They say addiction is a side affect of an underlying issue. This wasn’t supposed to read the way it does, a mellow dramatic, spoken word poem. Haha. But this sub is full of “my people.” And I can almost guarantee I’m not alone in this feeling. I appreciate this outlet. I’ve only got to get through today.",1.2099999999999973,3.825536842105265,3.4178596491228066,84.09468421052631,88.47368421052632,6.548771929824562,21.635087719298248,7.793537801064563,1.475281403508772,456,16,85,10,15,155,82,114,0.11599999999999999,0.7509999999999999,0.133,-0.2389,0,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,0,3,6,0,0,9,1,7,1,0,1,0,10,15,2,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,7,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,4,7,3,13,11,1,14,0,2,0,0,2,10,0,1,4,50,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149536621122421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974457784603138,0.20421745292426496,0.0,0.0,0.1640683018947776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677843747415925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3396590943484731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17255222806984033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17721131545114446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993987413192914,0.14086435486518495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10301762439994944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15770165352620474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20580311821037733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053310579144132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963314518558146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.396184597809412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499631292019301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13669874002443105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18639740969609653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19723185239553287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16838935573813693,0.0,0.15680425187434713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14825368764119032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18690215597800652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15651110991541198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21558372860095468,0.0,0.0
addiction,fredjehetraketje,2020/01/02,"7 months later, I slipped up After a year of never making it past a month, I was proud of being 7 months cocaine free. Well this NYE, I threw that away. I feel bad, the trust between my GF and me was just beginning to come back, and now that's gone again. 
Do you guys make a difference between a slip and a relapse? Do you go back to 0 days sober?",2.836891891891895,3.256278635135136,4.054972972972973,92.35083783783787,73.45945945945945,7.0010810810810815,24.259459459459467,6.742157984588678,0.5655059459459464,265,7,63,2,5,87,55,74,0.049,0.7809999999999999,0.17,0.8253,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,1,6,5,0,0,6,0,5,0,0,2,1,9,13,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,1,0,1,4,1,1,1,0,4,1,8,5,9,8,0,20,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,14,42,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2214560977919388,0.3624909064340627,0.1968069323478827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20304218780697425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15201262216115874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2462654402366019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11918140909286434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13395869524464188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233388686967901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3146747965523434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5644213450929351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817930928045182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22501064047348465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21193044321397936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15178868512683996
addiction,JTurtle83,2020/01/02,"So fucking done Relapsed hard after about a year of only smoking weed and drinking occasionally. Idk why I put myself through this shit I know this is what happens yet I honestly can’t stop myself. When I get hit with a craving I just lose control and get super compulsive. Just did the last of my cocaine and I swear to god I’m never touching the shit ever again. No cocaine, no opiates ,no benzos, no ketamine ever again. I wasn’t even enjoying it while I was doing it because I felt so ashamed, but I physically couldn’t stop myself. I’ve know I was a drug addict since I first smoke weed but something about cocaine makes me go completely off the rails. My nose is fucked and I feel like complete shit. I’m honestly done with reddit too all these drug subreddits trigger me so fucking bad. Next time I have a craving I’m going to try and remember this feeling, but you guys know how that goes in a year I’ll probably only remember how fun it is. My fucking brain man this shit is like a curse. I remember a year ago I felt the same way as I do right now and here we are again, never learn my lesson. I’m done with this shit. Now I’m gonna feel like complete shit for a solid week coming off this binge. Why do I do this to myself.",2.415335968379445,4.2161723320158115,3.9131818181818185,87.48977272727276,76.66798418972331,6.497233201581029,25.72924901185771,7.348242739294969,1.2390648221343876,972,36,199,12,22,322,135,253,0.22899999999999998,0.6629999999999999,0.10800000000000001,-0.9878,0,0,8,0,0,0,21.0,1,1,0,5,21,21,10,1,12,0,19,16,8,5,5,43,45,17,0,1,5,0,7,3,0,1,3,0,0,2,13,11,1,3,13,1,0,4,9,13,0,1,9,8,30,8,17,33,2,33,0,1,0,4,4,4,10,0,27,129,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09161045042358043,0.0,0.0,0.07449187287047243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701656355007638,0.051226898079454734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09381074594636224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07238862966350712,0.2643269970568342,0.0,0.0942522915449596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579906522078255,0.0,0.08232221443775099,0.19490762087261776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05550426217361138,0.15202876524974182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12747171874152688,0.1200691057879094,0.16137337438782234,0.0,0.0,0.07148004722920429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.310755662058144,0.08780953885697129,0.0,0.09551794614712984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.083207767858731,0.07431178892605121,0.0,0.07527876870611105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138550158189161,0.06849966353125699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316562938844705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09401356335334657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05609395160212269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962579858448342,0.0,0.08937207477952007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12782466395892106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060384073746176,0.0,0.0,0.08447829008067892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855854970799005,0.07176534967639746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5175637339606706,0.06951454177515239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0646941754117333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405138867600108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04900142887262333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05705418427138876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0667029960539054,0.06740773185109401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15165686186504246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623471708037825
addiction,MarrowOfSpirit,2020/01/02,"Gets worse every time I'm not an addict, I've never had a physical dependency on any substance, but I'm sure you guys can relate with this phenomenon:  


Every time I do this drug again (cocaine) the depression it causes gets worse. I start thinking, ""How many fucking times have I done this only to end back at this spot I'm in right now?"" Like sure I can go back to being clean again but this drug causes this weird sense of despair and hopelessness and it feels like I should just end it all - but I always get out of it eventually. It's just so weird. This drug fucks me up bad, like it can take weeks for me to recover from the self hate and depression that one night of use causes - seriously! It changes how I think about things so drastically. When I'm clean from it things start looking up but one night of use and suddenly I'm back to despair and hopelessness and anxiety FOR WEEKS. I don't get it.   


I know that just like every time before it if I just stay clean I will be back to normal but right now it all just seems so pointless. It's almost like every use stacks upon one another to make the length and severity of the depression it causes a little worse every time! Do any of you understand this? How many times have I been here and how many more times am I going to come here? WHEN will it be the LAST TIME?  


Thanks for listening.",3.12769696969697,4.78513117037037,4.055622895622896,87.8448484848485,74.33333333333333,7.575757575757577,22.272727272727273,8.296473431620573,1.0632222222222223,1056,27,223,18,22,340,125,270,0.20800000000000002,0.6779999999999999,0.114,-0.9875,0,0,4,0,0,2,25.0,0,2,0,0,25,22,3,0,8,0,18,6,0,13,5,50,49,23,0,3,12,0,1,5,0,3,4,1,3,2,26,11,0,0,6,0,0,3,3,14,0,3,3,3,17,8,27,40,3,43,0,7,1,2,5,10,2,4,34,142,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222244685182001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552546379550511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06275816424829088,0.0,0.0,0.10258075714285826,0.07908782644927308,0.0576985597812969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23198321408505135,0.06297524146110674,0.0,0.0,0.0641796082894963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3099217085930494,0.07978777004096503,0.06497042889390449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948857364771603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07718414435377632,0.0,0.0,0.26240098303383863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13360517901462315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3177365952345206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038136248178652236,0.05388236616862434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394551101393835,0.15762208587267784,0.0,0.08572951245369981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468084960601919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07446481860584943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041450631324797975,0.06147999401841829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18423988692589655,0.07559388466137634,0.0,0.0,0.06333651218605926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05034558757203672,0.2294019324369151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058171039905694076,0.0,0.0,0.14155917249506414,0.07389874547873251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15332618529024356,0.057362760417172136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12882204207678535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06866247026926066,0.07868287164012475,0.08520677455159856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676989204465956,0.08039112121487174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421709917098661,0.0,0.05670887777803465,0.0,0.0,0.06943957106548722,0.0,0.0,0.10021567702450784,0.09665631273752584,0.0,0.0,0.35183910678430164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785182359414293,0.0,0.1954243470686512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12099992138236874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305881259823266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,TheCrypticNine,2020/01/02,"I don’t know how to stop I’ve been reading this sub for a little bit and I’m not sure if this is the right place to ask. I’m a 28M, and extremely addicted to energy drinks. I typically drink about 2 to 3 NOS’ a day and that’s before 11am when waking up at 6am. After that I typically have a Red Bull or two or sometimes 3. I have gained a lot of weight, chest palpitations, you name it but even with that I can’t seem to stop. Hell, I was even hospitalized before and that still didn’t stop me. 

 If I don’t have one I can feel like I’m crawling out of my skin, thoughts flash into my mind so quick that I can’t make any sense of them. When I do finally get a drink, it’s like everything is clear, focused and I can make sense of the world around me. 

I need to stop, I know. I just don’t know how. Honestly the feeling of stopping frightens me. Any pointers? Something to atleast start me down the right path?",1.4803787878787882,2.684745358585861,3.360492424242427,93.01073863636368,77.73737373737373,6.970202020202023,22.476010101010104,7.645422480735847,0.6243525252525246,703,20,173,10,16,237,113,198,0.124,0.758,0.11800000000000001,-0.2867,0,0,4,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,1,1,12,5,1,0,10,0,16,8,3,4,2,38,32,15,0,3,7,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,9,9,4,5,7,4,0,0,7,1,0,2,4,5,22,4,22,28,2,24,1,0,1,0,4,11,1,6,15,103,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137791406633966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719086132983261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125201438365712,0.1181641495840118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21510910565247648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13799280722890134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08151562011267258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3714628736837083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16696807675805847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11359748974510725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12782026031768962,0.0902980549888224,0.0,0.13846175509550654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660372251148085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20839348674710795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12350239697124847,0.12668301782831545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10745822479188716,0.0,0.0,0.16874198214671352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12762495654548778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09372178735332164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564989064781611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13205798168473545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12643122293218864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158847256785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115067098141885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09730659973605738,0.1250098828682491,0.0,0.08946445997589943,0.0,0.10094082193154594,0.5283678340938504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11912769371576265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034511369065424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234715204825612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15391751649574995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Jboo___,2020/01/02,"In love with an addict So I’m a female and was in a relationship with a meth female addict for over 8 years it wasn’t till around the first 5 years I found out . Throughout the years we were on and off  . We became really serious 3 years ago I remember looking for her 3 years ago and she was homeless on drugs and lost it really broke my heart 💔 So I decided to help her get on her feet and let me tell you it was an EMOTIONAL stress ! But I finally managed to get her into a rehab 6 months later. She constantly kept relapsing and put on the streets , I kept trying to save her till finally she did it , she managed to stay in rehab a whole year .  So that’s when I started to see potential in the relationship we fell deeper in love she got stronger, got a job and was ready to get her own place .  As soon as she’s out of rehab which was a couple months ago she’s good she’s managed to have two jobs now . Then toxicity starts to develop jealousy we just became closer than when she was in rehab. It was tough love , problems started developing and just a couple days ago she admits that she’s been using it brakes me down , I see her face and weight loss, the way she acts isn’t the same anymore she has highs and downs . Always accusing me and blowing me up , it’s become more toxic that it already was . I told her to check back in a rehab she says she will when she’s ready and maybe that was my problem the first time it’s like I made her do it . Is it possible for a meth addict to get help themselves ? Today’s New Years and it’s her birthday, looking at her broke my heart she looks so sick it’s like she got lost so quickly. What do I do ? I’m heartbroken 😔 but can’t stick around coz it’s hurting me watching her throw her life away again . Idk what to do . I just need any advice.",0.9077327574386408,3.0139781470588254,2.758021390374335,92.36932469491295,83.03743315508022,5.867982997394763,20.017551076374605,7.116496586553881,0.36222865761689294,1393,39,309,19,39,463,174,374,0.087,0.835,0.078,-0.3361,2,0,3,0,0,0,25.0,4,1,0,5,18,18,0,1,19,0,24,19,4,3,0,44,54,28,0,3,5,0,1,2,0,1,11,1,0,0,21,24,1,3,4,0,1,4,3,11,0,3,23,8,55,7,45,29,4,70,0,6,6,3,47,27,0,0,39,203,76,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616694704721829,0.0,0.07818524659609864,0.2836976034702173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08829347696317473,0.0,0.066575070577551,0.0,0.0,0.0544098224389219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934882723052694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14245245609248142,0.0,0.0,0.0751724139283597,0.06152306650261849,0.0,0.0,0.08836521168958668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08646282893557372,0.0,0.0,0.1770599935716423,0.0,0.051600095320788825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09278667391641304,0.0,0.0,0.09000094208542637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17529498644152827,0.0,0.13611362765790666,0.0,0.08772728474788215,0.0,0.0,0.16720854756104675,0.0,0.0,0.0671089357967082,0.19197490177786314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18962544204842086,0.10725858248299476,0.08453539098704185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565279866464916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15879597213042462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08181606504358177,0.05651371873563911,0.0781780896379589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015657796604996,0.0,0.1746816279370247,0.0,0.21663755638076929,0.07570778446415682,0.0,0.0,0.08038121092341187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277270917542921,0.0,0.0,0.05932670516867325,0.0,0.07727455250479222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359384904861912,0.0,0.0,0.0901997154320587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15311831335786458,0.0,0.0804325610218694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251343479343757,0.0,0.0,0.17180247444954913,0.0906361973745077,0.0,0.0,0.06362748937384492,0.0,0.0,0.12751587549269527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698953399188447,0.08528045128143305,0.0,0.0,0.09165165426917893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06993262489665925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04665471346770888,0.0,0.07584051325960789,0.07645337547669115,0.0,0.05432181633386318,0.0,0.07815854455252334,0.0,0.0,0.06910330501486155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350853923917561,0.0,0.09743112438747284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08932876537116054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36066856533801583
addiction,sixers267,2020/01/02,"I’m still in denial (I think?) Well my title explains the f*ck storm going on in my head I guess. I smoke a bunch of weed, which wouldn’t be a problem if I could function throughout my day to day life, but I can’t. I’m a 16yr old sophomore in hs and I have court next Wednesday for my second case of truancy. Last school year I finished with 103 missed days in a 180 day school year. This year, the one I swore would be different, is already half way over and I’ve been to school at the very most 10 days. If I could look myself in the mirror and tell myself honestly that smoking so much weed is the cause of this problem, I would have a much easier time getting past this whole thing. But, I can’t do that. Since I was in middle school, I’ve always been a sad kid. Mental health issues run in the family, so it wasn’t much of a surprise and is certainly not out of the ordinary. Since I noticed the beginning of these feelings, my daily responsibilities have seemed like a mountain way too steep to climb. Sometimes I can get stuck in my bed staring at the ceiling for entire days on end. Going to school is the last thing I want to do in times like those. This has been happening since 7th grade, and I didn’t start smoking weed heavily until the summer going into freshman year, so I know my attendance issues and neglected responsibilities aren’t entirely due to an addiction problem. But, everyone around me tells me that smoking so much will only make my problems continue to get worse. I’d love to believe them, but smoking is the only thing that makes me feel like I can have fun and enjoy myself even when I’m doing things I don’t necessarily want to do. For instance, school. If I smoke in the morning before I go to school, I have no problem going. Everything seems easier to deal with and more manageable. My anxiety isn’t so bad and everything just seems okay. It’s no longer the end of the world if I have to go to school. Buuuut smoking weed is illegal and going to school after smoking weed is even more illegal. I just can’t wrap my head around how something that feels so right, beneficial, and healthy can be as wrong as everyone describes it to me as. I can’t tell if I’m addicted and need to find the strength in myself to change, or if pursuing a medical marijuana card is a better option and something that’s worth giving a shot. I can get a medical card as long as my mom is willing to be a “caregiver” for me despite the fact that I’m a minor. I’ve spoken to her about it before, and she said she would give it a try. I’m just not sure if this is the best route for me to take.. and it’s not like a have much time to make a decision considering child services randomly drug tests me, and I have yet to pass a single test. There is a possibility of me being removed from my home, and there’s just so much shit that I have to figure out in so little time. I could really use some input right now.. any thought? 
Thank you",4.893748472090183,5.156056726968174,5.882602200190146,81.62567703381775,68.83249581239531,9.134121055729096,28.69794920548689,9.068930737419137,2.119528262936304,2314,75,480,40,37,768,265,597,0.109,0.7609999999999999,0.13,0.9028,2,0,5,0,0,0,57.0,0,1,1,4,26,28,1,0,38,1,56,11,3,6,3,86,103,45,0,22,19,1,3,4,0,6,7,1,2,2,26,24,0,1,13,0,1,12,15,11,1,3,9,6,58,17,69,80,14,76,0,3,2,1,17,27,1,16,39,321,84,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219489993747624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061722721115773566,0.0,0.04654018230854106,0.0,0.0,0.0380359049373151,0.0,0.04278808220931897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995832707247489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04670116236875299,0.0,0.0,0.09518859278504964,0.06301658658712697,0.058697533498044074,0.04946760389060127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057457914010318835,0.059168992722721164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13397225168207835,0.0,0.0,0.21643036853293696,0.05766378009428719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058437384156634416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486374978518071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09907889217577236,0.0,0.0,0.07388555783548609,0.0,0.0,0.10689148361153526,0.10053675003623797,0.0,0.052728026389677586,0.0,0.08484320553623799,0.039958070391959165,0.0,0.0,0.051121139728839485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11688934340629185,0.10731078224506957,0.22251343953614225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06161577146979118,0.0,0.04946077799737508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148054217696901,0.0594534552403145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05610469117414004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11675764947357045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030738947860680245,0.0911846343568956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039506661428566965,0.1093028520351563,0.05605889234797195,0.0,0.04949835526245685,0.04696907341432642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050481114934722515,0.0,0.11200580125781888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269188370446526,0.056366636973756636,0.0,0.0,0.06550727326323477,0.0,0.0,0.2467002056866483,0.041473116744184836,0.0,0.0,0.0594846714595105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06367933266772194,0.05869157541755345,0.0,0.03790119687508978,0.08507812041710758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05339374142001538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630553022921175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26759844776095004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035831685216193315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09553181479133868,0.05320445775202736,0.0,0.0,0.5094585703687307,0.0,0.15275608786660122,0.0,0.0,0.05741373680380485,0.13880341334878304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611888622267394,0.055318508244262786,0.0,0.03958919369567943,0.0,0.04466763396689115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05271556260780399,0.0,0.042054154099550184,0.0,0.1466619749902065,0.05149497815182953,0.0,0.0,0.14863582881239176,0.035839181005030106,0.0,0.044404025278691084,0.13045837437367028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03797438310732431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04830757798098127,0.0,0.04615003303445967,0.06598067918057524,0.08879296615682518,0.0,0.0,0.05028988522580522,0.0,0.0,0.06244645314987561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05699982650302252,0.11919817531254305,0.061153226528047784,0.0,0.1440743564320759
addiction,DannyDarksun30,2020/01/02,"A weird drug addict thing So I don't do drugs but I've met a couple of drug addicts that do this weird thing all the time. They hoard packets of sugar or other sugary things, they don't even eat them or snort the sugar they just grab them put them in front of them scatter them around and make a mess. I know this sounds ignorant but I'm just really curious why they do this it's really weird. I know they aren't addicted to sugar it's obvious they are addicted to hard drugs and going through withdrawal.",2.64431623931624,4.479717961538462,3.7801282051282072,88.5426495726496,76.11538461538461,7.699145299145299,21.170940170940174,8.515128840125781,1.1200696581196588,404,10,85,8,9,131,60,104,0.129,0.826,0.045,-0.7514,0,0,5,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,11,0,5,5,0,0,5,0,7,12,0,1,2,15,13,7,0,0,6,0,2,0,0,0,8,1,0,0,10,3,4,1,2,0,0,3,3,5,0,0,1,7,14,0,8,12,1,6,0,0,0,0,12,2,0,2,1,55,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5901829879261823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120485515594885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497563833006618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6278277288470584,0.13849146045036684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08939392596804753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07691953619515074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124230488157504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487638618368019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09034366660150724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13605884870171034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734106155175214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2697510988542485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07892060777722476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12212757859661785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,AmongAllOf,2020/01/02,"Started the MAID application process. I live in Canada. I started the application process for medical assistance in dying. It was nice to finally receive an intelligible response to ""I really want to die."" as oppose to the usual parroted phrases and hollow cheerleading.

​

Not sure that I will go through with it tbh, but I hope that I do. Getting two witness signatures seems like the only real obstacle here.",5.823690476190474,8.92528875,6.9408730158730165,63.62000000000002,71.22222222222223,10.225396825396826,39.45238095238096,10.290406445055957,5.494771428571429,338,21,46,11,7,113,55,72,0.061,0.763,0.17600000000000002,0.7824,0,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,5,0,3,1,0,0,1,10,10,3,2,2,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,4,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,6,4,10,8,0,8,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,5,33,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322112689769706,0.2604173672341631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4448522910852773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23477267453078174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11197125118124436,0.0,0.12180070729875768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21286412029580493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047039596887332,0.0,0.18924493205355464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159007972608913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16299695615775586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24393849887285995,0.1372963012254785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951052141628024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3033878998501243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20199026976829815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20935556588949972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360387677278403,0.0,0.12640911457527473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604173672341631,0.0
addiction,cactusfarm,2020/01/02,just watched trainspotting and immediately popped 3 hydros after aha i love recklessly triggering drug binges by not thinking about what i watch and how it affects me,8.951785714285714,11.275079178571431,7.1485714285714295,68.74642857142858,60.78571428571429,9.885714285714286,39.0,10.125756701596842,4.4458,139,7,20,3,2,41,26,28,0.0,0.851,0.149,0.6369,0,0,1,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,8,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,3,2,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,13,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7233882285270031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5629869445975204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3996938466392908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ak1702,2020/01/02,"Anything to help me get through, advice, book recommendations, personal success stories, anything Hi, so first off, please no hate. 

I’m 18f and started vaping at 14, a little bit after I picked up a cigarette habit around that age and ditched it. Lately, I’ve been dying to quit and my boyfriend (21) and I agreed we’d quit together. 

The cravings are the worst thing for me. I decided to quit cold turkey yesterday, and it’s hard because I suffer from anxiety and depression among other issues and I used nicotine a lot to helped calm me down. Over time, I’ve learned healthier coping habits to stray away from my toxic tendencies and have drastically improved in regards to how I handle my emotions but nicotine is the main problem for me now, especially since I tend to get addicted to things very very easily. 

I turned 18 after the law was placed into effect in my state that raised the age to buy tobacco products to 21 and so I wasn’t grandfathered into it. My boyfriend and friends were buying things for me, but my boyfriend is really set on wanting to quit which I’m proud of and support and I’m not going to be selfish and ask him to buy me things while he’s trying to quit so it’s time for me to call it quits too. 

So basically my access to anything is zero. That’s a start. Im going to throw away all of my products and everything is pretty much empty anyways. So I don’t have anything. 

I want to focus on replacement behaviors. I know my triggers, when i have caffeine, when I’m anxious or panicking, etc. so maybe I’ll have some gum or drink something for the oral fixation part of it. 

What else is there I can do? It helps that most of everyone around me is quitting too, so chances that ill be influenced by my friends are low. Is there a book I can read that’s good and might help? What’s something that has worked for you guys in your journey to fight addiction? 

TL;DR: quit nicotine, is there anything that has helped for you? If you have a success story, can you share it? For those who have quit long term, how has it benefited you and how you feel now? Does this get any easier?",4.373163841807909,5.669061397094435,5.0647142857142855,83.27103430185635,70.6222760290557,8.315383373688459,29.50516545601291,8.745826893841286,2.2456244390637616,1659,65,326,29,30,535,217,413,0.09,0.767,0.14300000000000002,0.9782,0,0,5,0,1,0,46.0,1,7,0,15,22,18,2,0,12,0,32,4,0,8,1,47,53,34,1,4,6,0,2,0,2,1,3,0,0,2,28,20,1,0,5,4,3,4,4,8,0,2,4,3,42,10,54,45,11,44,0,3,0,0,25,20,0,7,18,222,70,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15594581664474488,0.0,0.06989349258817441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04863951559818236,0.0,0.054716499987745186,0.08080299571393489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.294295283962699,0.1273449930458352,0.0668663063073345,0.0,0.13440035772680314,0.0,0.0,0.043601032514525316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780868761706482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730351164246255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06160445736129006,0.0,0.07423175365655023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06259209044359194,0.0,0.0,0.07006736076037483,0.0,0.0,0.059750036882192416,0.08045610204534867,0.0,0.0,0.07976938493896638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06834529102179321,0.06428214117210036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03616523585526783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06083920713970186,0.0,0.0,0.1105202180756993,0.0,0.1121067262217402,0.0,0.08129871672538358,0.059991854101813964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07082108673147719,0.0,0.0,0.06407243391777738,0.07061622095557314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23970880908391756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725937366471762,0.07465361376489063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03930832029381998,0.0,0.08068341975083995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07168693299843124,0.0,0.06329745609682315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060808075879800916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07185656903951378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587682012312924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05257917276823065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07745470510533299,0.0,0.0,0.062452951917327186,0.0747284983198886,0.07851307298001246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07276673280479626,0.0,0.06843985384530138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6846816606180748,0.07154444820325173,0.0,0.04582080575851862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05916629563378415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012702120875374,0.0,0.0,0.10125165721462062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116582735538766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19007237308758027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08341371324961519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048560842775374605,0.07779876168985547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061774715143196685,0.0,0.11803138404807904,0.08437470541245896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052071119197867874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,igiveback123,2020/01/03,I have 14 months clean! Happiest I have been in 15 years. Ask me how I did it.,-4.00333333333333,-3.429568555555555,-0.7238888888888884,108.2675,123.44444444444444,4.022222222222221,10.055555555555557,5.985473137389443,-1.4153777777777783,58,1,17,1,4,20,15,18,0.0,0.644,0.35600000000000004,0.8016,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,1,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,11,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6736684435143068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5751800727740329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4640460236837175
addiction,lilcoffeebeen,2020/01/03,"Hey y’all Was prescribed XanaX 7 years ago and have been a daily user since that day. I have never once abused it nonetheless I’m addicted and long overdue to make the journey to quit. 

I take a silly-small amount per day. I get (x 60) .5 peach footballs every month. I break that in half. And break that half in half. So. It’s a laughably small amount. Hopefully this makes it a lot easier to stop! 

Any tips? I’m not going to do this under dr supervision and I know that’s frowned upon but I take such a small amount and I’m self pay so I just am not doing this with my doctor. 

I haven’t taken any in about 18 hours and I’m already feeling extreme amounts of depersonalization/de realization. I’m prob going to start having very physical withdrawal symptoms in the next 5 or so hours. 

I know some people will strongly advise against stopping but come on. I take a half of a half of the smallest dose they prescribe. Like I literally break a .5mg in half and break that half-piece in half. What do?",1.0359154351395752,3.4675120886699564,2.6476662561576383,91.14535816912978,85.7487684729064,5.353776683087029,20.773604269293926,6.816661863887847,0.4318441707717575,786,25,165,10,24,257,120,203,0.027999999999999997,0.8759999999999999,0.095,0.8782,0,0,0,0,1,0,24.0,0,1,1,2,6,3,0,0,11,0,11,6,0,2,1,26,31,13,0,1,6,0,1,1,0,1,6,0,0,1,12,9,0,2,3,0,1,4,4,0,0,7,3,1,14,3,20,27,6,32,0,0,0,0,5,11,0,4,14,95,26,4,0.0,0.18858688559136172,0.0,0.17351554028313124,0.0,0.0,0.14109195520880596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17564475899037033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164780565381792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13710828981128845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20529911423196495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16291418433577293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13410507495404236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047962521738003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08315819596089534,0.0,0.18091656525889294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15808875976521375,0.3134948960415713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17494805773321498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07776096369222155,0.0,0.0,0.1408577995805848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13531810428615115,0.0,0.0,0.2124904369284233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270455928306036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12275941430274613,0.0,0.16927592616225398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16950767632492264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034636720437424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692937127069772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660459096804695,0.0,0.0,0.13166459959403448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11265923244468988,0.0,0.0,0.2661415031332524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654354725459221,0.3590213601003264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13132945669279258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10249833916402636
addiction,kkhasanxiety,2020/01/03,"6 days clean I'm 6 days clean today and the cravings are so intense, I have a feeling I might relapse. Im trying to be strong but damn this is hard. I feel drained and the past couple days I have felt this weird feeling like I want to cry. All I want to do is sleep.",-0.8504600484261502,1.1188315084745746,1.0971428571428596,102.20881355932205,89.84745762711864,3.371428571428572,18.59806295399516,3.1291,-0.9733699757869252,205,6,51,0,7,67,39,59,0.226,0.517,0.257,-0.4524,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,0,3,0,8,1,1,0,1,11,15,4,0,2,1,0,5,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,6,2,3,12,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,6,27,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614951663861542,0.259597920505648,0.4572407997741668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3584873547807108,0.16883453267022844,0.22691430965024584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21170567817731345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552774586061941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545912854310585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25070927823218137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22560417186655146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23650114179086926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22401364908677776,0.0,0.0,0.1604528737868056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2787876648057154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,moldyskittles,2020/01/03,My parent keeps using my I.D./forcing me to get controlled substances (bronchaid) for her at the pharmacy because hers is blacklisted. I don’t really know how I am supposed to say no without facing large consequences. Everyone else in my family is made to do the same and won’t tell her no because they know that she will retaliate. I just want help; can I call the pharmacy and tell them to blacklist my I.D.? Please help me. I can’t do this anymore.,5.4529457364341125,6.7482969302325575,6.0534883720930255,77.1913178294574,68.06976744186046,9.919379844961243,32.93798449612403,10.125756701596842,3.488044961240312,360,16,65,9,6,117,60,86,0.052000000000000005,0.843,0.105,0.5574,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,3,0,10,1,1,4,0,13,17,3,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,1,17,0,8,14,1,2,0,0,0,0,13,2,0,0,0,47,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174864203851145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673661793317705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22392955979881735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459633125214227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831967978143886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095503051415954,0.0,0.0,0.20673628330627186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145750659968662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2939839941431881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949236904170988,0.0,0.0,0.2410428103831469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20750672206611653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435064155048482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407252665779093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14048903274798613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17439596002857707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3833552879798084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18940456927989768,0.0,0.0,0.1293486720231768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2113971293683562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,EatCakeOk,2020/01/03,"Having a super shitty time. Finding it hard to be grateful right now. Anybody have any good news? Hey, all. Just finding myself to be very depressed lately. It seems as though lots of people I’m close to are having shit luck too. Could really use some cheer, right about now. 

Anybody having a good day? Please share. I super need to see something positive right now",1.6091443850267382,4.315916705882355,2.0914973262032106,91.07810160427809,95.1764705882353,3.6491978609625666,17.946524064171122,5.565023196281405,-0.15081176470588176,288,8,50,2,11,88,51,68,0.13,0.5329999999999999,0.337,0.9608,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,7,9,1,0,2,0,8,1,1,1,1,13,13,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,7,7,10,3,10,0,1,1,0,2,4,1,4,6,30,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13269735057459495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557980797181258,0.0,0.0,0.12584484991017192,0.0,0.16806804457021116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3566966428983569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3273371454244437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17480112869529885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22011888697005244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16589537259063594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14468888596430154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13528087611013245,0.0,0.0,0.2141977904546978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12500740294329293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4999283731760365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554959938812094,0.17764204793203012,0.0,0.0,0.20030155120557533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15022316486248016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19171749841932395,0.0,0.11378380945704315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16853253843483673,0.0,0.16100542691689448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,gabrielle100,2020/01/03,"24 year old girl looking for a recovery bro Hi so I’m trying to recover from my addiction to opioid painkillers and I could really use a friend struggling with the same thing. I don’t know many addicts in my life and it would be really helpful to have someone to text when I’m tempted to get high. This is a battle I’ve tried winning on my own and I can’t do it in the midst of my loneliness. 

If anyone is interested pleaseeee DM me :)",1.430390720390719,3.5001105494505502,3.524761904761906,87.80079365079365,80.86813186813188,7.121367521367523,25.49572649572649,8.167268648758528,1.6762371184371188,344,14,73,7,9,117,67,91,0.087,0.752,0.161,0.8024,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,2,5,1,1,5,0,9,3,0,1,0,10,15,6,0,3,1,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,8,3,12,12,2,7,0,0,1,0,5,4,0,1,3,46,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4956053408578798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15894121858530233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814894308298719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17562000549163165,0.0,0.11876067696033504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15236185053082638,0.2401666758587768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12492424546500885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605565646610286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19088408891121644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304577952290592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23852477994438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29124264497669783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19259997218416888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23763493451986656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510154059892679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3086586553438843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963238220406224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614752959797169,0.0,0.0,0.14638090696621134
addiction,throwaway-321-123,2020/01/03,"Detox. Hi all! Well as some of you may have read I had to throw my daughters mother out a few days ago. She’s addicted to crack and I had enough of the lies, stealing, cheating and drug use. She’s left the baby home alone on at least 2 occasions and I just can’t anymore.... so she went into detox this morning but I don’t think she’s serious about it at all. I think she’s just doing it in hopes that I’ll let her come back home.  I’m glad she’s there but I’m not hopeful.  This is probably the 5th or 6th time she’s been to rehab in the last 12 months. She flat out asked me yesterday if I thought there was a reason for her to go to detox.  So I’m not hopeful at all to be honest. 

What do you guys think?  

Ps. I also can’t thank this group enough. You have been more supportive than I would have imagined. Thank you.",-0.8902100635075705,1.1868290898876417,1.0844406448461186,101.07191744015637,92.37078651685394,4.443966780654616,16.166096726917438,6.0469075449839425,-0.7016353688324379,630,15,156,6,23,206,107,178,0.092,0.7759999999999999,0.132,0.8786,0,1,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,4,0,0,10,12,1,0,6,0,18,6,0,2,3,31,36,11,0,5,8,2,0,0,0,2,6,0,2,1,7,7,0,0,6,1,0,4,5,3,1,0,7,0,24,9,21,25,9,21,0,0,0,0,20,10,0,7,7,103,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16051570850248334,0.0,0.0,0.13052130729839803,0.0,0.0,0.15249849117524772,0.0,0.1177495170781681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14602467607817282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13765156081508206,0.0,0.0,0.11322014667312545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268360992030542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09495902419490608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17075418094903685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3042810617446004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08368112333045641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457929062568664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953918211810717,0.4387341198128834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200220277606152,0.0,0.0,0.15997905794011308,0.15056510364381864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11752730223498542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15875197231075286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14728202448579328,0.0,0.0,0.15138948281386327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16708867944588532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711216310011456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830405281223665,0.0,0.11689384274597565,0.08585809846753692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271699668781522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13238840169112984,0.1364949747751269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045966191363749,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Platemails,2020/01/03,"I think my best friend is addicted to energy drinks I want to know if there are any resources or things I can show/tell him to help him stop. He drinks at least one 5 hour energy shot before he leaves the house everyday, one Bang energy drink at lunch and another Bang energy drink after work. I know that may not sound like a ton but that is the base of what he drinks, sometimes more, and that's pushing 1,000mg of caffeine a day. He gives me all of the normal deflection statements when I approach him about it. He says things like ""There are so many vitamins and nutrients in them, they're actually good for you"" ""I don't smoke or do drugs, I deserve to have one vice"" ""I work in construction and they help me stay on top of my game"" etc. He complains about his liver hurting sometimes and when he does I obviously point out how his energy drink consumption is likely doing it to him, he will quit them for a day or two then I'll see empty cans in his car or he'll tell me he caved.",6.7570149253731335,5.3690063184079655,6.925616915422888,81.20961940298508,65.41791044776119,11.025074626865672,30.050248756218906,10.125756701596842,2.4708941293532343,774,20,169,15,10,250,121,201,0.073,0.8009999999999999,0.127,0.8009,0,0,8,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,3,5,9,8,0,0,6,0,13,11,1,1,2,24,20,16,0,3,7,0,0,3,1,3,3,2,0,0,8,6,7,1,4,7,0,3,2,2,0,4,0,3,25,6,21,17,6,22,0,1,1,0,29,9,0,6,12,102,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.1101001617598955,0.12299505119054675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672433720373781,0.11830602998482892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09600509969232457,0.0,0.11840205617701614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14552457389771478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873323355342922,0.0,0.0,0.6631486865575411,0.1308402736577134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12582882689770725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871677110183584,0.0,0.0,0.10823127063936733,0.0,0.09463160121925683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512473902971861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11110912810371702,0.1301839995983072,0.1207806589438416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401047930042615,0.0,0.0,0.11946455641885048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16536064195192168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11438604867491516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105437788716537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293578302602817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10665535409852883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120002443738791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08972234665213606,0.0,0.0,0.08990629441139977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22317207318376292,0.0,0.0,0.1202556047366004,0.0,0.09432609825145953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861333953326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14991079440798474,0.07229320330533523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11021286706702192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06654664700005214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16427474898876404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,AutoModerator,2020/01/03,"Share/Rant/Discussion Fridays - January 03, 2020 Share your rants and thoughts here! Also, see full past discussions [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/addiction/search?q=friday+lounge&restrict_sr=on&sort=relevance&t=all)",12.784,17.872736733333333,6.813333333333333,55.12000000000002,81.66666666666667,12.666666666666668,41.66666666666666,9.725611199111238,7.696666666666667,202,11,20,8,6,52,26,30,0.131,0.758,0.111,-0.1007,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,5,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21860972797879172,0.0,0.8885719242524918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609576289151857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21783634913631086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21702111226604234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,zilbra,2020/01/03,"Magnesium importance on chemical dependence - A brief overview of glutamate role on addiction so I’ve been researching a lot everything about addiction/psychopharmacology for a long time now. I have an extremely compulsive drug-seeking behavior. I had 6 main addictions over my life; the most serious being opiates, cocaine and JWH - followed by tobacco, benzos and weed.

there is massive research about the role of glutamate activation on drug-seeking behavior ([reference 1](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4633516/) , [reference 2](https://www.drugabuse.gov/news-events/latest-science/unraveling-mystery-glutamate-dopamine-connection)

NMDA receptor antagonists are relative new targets for treating addiction. ( [reference 3](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3816684/) , [reference 4](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/gbb.12348)

when you abuse certain drugs like opiates, your body is depleted from water-soluble vitamins and minerals. the main issue here is the B complex, which is completely essential for proper brain function.  [[reference 5](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4772032/) 

another important one is magnesium, a natural NMDA antagonist, calcium channels and GABA modulator ( [reference 6 ](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/30714574/) ,  [reference 7](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK507260/) [[reference 8](https://canprev.ca/all/magnesium-anxiety-depression-and-the-brain/) 



I’m 20 days clean, and am currently suffering from psychological addiction. all this new year’s partying are a strong trigger for someone like me. on desperation 6 days ago I bought magnesium chloride powder and started taking a teaspoon on the morning and another at night. yesterday I woke up feeling much lighter and overall feeling good. I didn’t even connected one thing to another, I thought it was just my mind recovering, and today I noticed a huge mood-stabilizer activity from taking the magnesium. 

***I took magnesium only after consulting my doctor. this is an experience report and not a medical advice, always talk to your doc before ingesting any pharmaceuticals***

it really is working like a light general tranquilizer. i’m not having the compulsive and intrusive thoughts I usually get, im smoking way less and overall enhanced mental clarity.

in conclusion it is doing wonders for me. if any of you reading this decide to take magnesium make sure you don’t consume the laxative formulations (mainly oxide and hydroxide). if you are quitting opiates and take a laxative you gonna have a shitty time (pun intended)

magnesium chloride is not the best formulation, it is in the middle ground between the best and the worst, but it’s what I have access to.

peace and a happy new year",10.550173355173355,14.4486282972973,9.374940622440626,47.98541393666393,59.63882063882064,14.153671853671849,47.17779142779143,12.554650470220118,8.431013704613704,2275,146,236,98,36,709,250,407,0.06,0.836,0.10400000000000001,0.8998,2,0,6,0,2,0,178.0,0,7,0,6,9,15,0,0,26,0,25,12,2,4,3,50,44,21,0,2,7,0,2,3,0,1,10,0,1,0,11,16,1,0,16,2,1,3,5,3,0,2,9,3,22,12,30,33,11,37,0,1,0,0,11,13,0,6,23,156,33,7,0.0,0.10971247451049296,0.0,0.4037782209678621,0.0,0.09048485782332316,0.08208178151381901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07704824193888261,0.0,0.0,0.12593846695941155,0.2912885387744544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879334977785771,0.0,0.19434998050460964,0.0,0.0,0.10285455289045313,0.0,0.2067380737172988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09708634416333813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943499552777465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09477710096483476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3221498695501188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06115954056816299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08322034268352499,0.09057777521686168,0.0,0.0,0.093639796877586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04837818613998158,0.0,0.0,0.0776660914764278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09857138204495104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10002080569591937,0.09664736125457724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06540410150879722,0.13571486246631675,0.0,0.0,0.08194555892701427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07872278085906632,0.0,0.0,0.06180931291200292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328188126388806,0.09331614246895954,0.0,0.09349671935988302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806955549401543,0.0,0.0,0.2682926971968884,0.0,0.08689614731174002,0.0,0.0,0.10542246262298832,0.0,0.0,0.12549244294942186,0.07042430089922208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848846107145068,0.09262220249692676,0.0,0.059320101784570985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07845725995645006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554073539738171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872717127497157,0.0,0.2784861149117203,0.07442607714688668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06151742822579041,0.0,0.0,0.14702357889582146,0.10798827908599752,0.0,0.08777126578617073,0.0,0.10287883451319288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198267252462463,0.0,0.0,0.073499303178133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041765316621236,0.06741182394593301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11925905014697585
addiction,dawn990,2020/01/03,"My ex is an addict and I need advice on how to deal with reality of it all and heal from everything that went down - it's going to be a long one, I need to let this out somewhere I've met this guy at a point in my life where I felt confident and somewhat good. I have mental health issues and I do struggle with addiction to prescription drug(s). It's an issue on its own, but it does intertwine with the story.

No one in my real life knows this. Our relationship was short and it was public but he didn't want to share his addiction with everyone so I respected his wishes. It was and is his personal journey and he should have the right to decide how much he will or will not share. At the time he was in recovery, or so I tough.

As someone who has issues of her own (that carry a lot of stigma) I didn't approach him with any stereotype in mind. I wanted to give him a chance to prove what type of a person he is, to see myself are we even compatible addiction aside - basically, I approached with open mind and open heart. Retrospectively I was naive, plain stupid and gave benefit of the doubt when there was no room for any.

I thought he was in a recovery. He was half-assing it. I didn't have a reason to doubt his story. He shared a lot of awful things he did, a lot of his personal emotional hardships, so I thought he knew me well enough to say he relapsed. I wouldn't judge him, but I would urge him to get back on the track of not using and now I see that *that* would be an issue. Not the fact I would leave. I wouldn't. I would, like I did few times, went to a clinic with him. But someone who doesn't want to get sober doesn't want support in doing so. Hindsight is 20/20, right?

I did care about him and that is why I didn't leave sooner. That also combined with him threatening suicide or relapse if I left. He made sure I know if he does anything harmful to himself it *will* be *my fault* and my fault only. He didn't just implied that, those were his exact words in more than one situation. 

I did break it all of after I came to the point of not caring if **I'm** alive. Our relationship ended with physical altercation where he didn't want to let me leave his apartment. I had to physically fight my way out. At the time he was saying I'm being irrational and he only wanted to talk. I spent 2 hours at his apartment listening how awful scum of a person I am and how I'm greatest thing that happened to him playing on a loop while he rolled joint after joint. 

I managed to escape, literally, and he tried to drag me back into his apartment all while saying I'm irrational and acting like I'm a crazy person since he only wanted to talk. He was holding me tight enough it hurt but I'm irrational one. He told me I'm embarrassing him because I was running away from him on the street but he still ran after me. I was scared shitless, obviously distressed and he was obviously high. 

He still pinned it on me. I was listening for hours him talking shit about me and it took me more than 3 and a half hours to escape and finally go home. For hour and a half I was pushed, pinned in a chair, tugged, dragged on stairs, chased after, restricted by firm hold and I was a bad guy. During all that I got bruise on my wrist (I do not bruise easily) but that's ok because he had a bruise on his head from me trying to escape. Since head bruise is worse than one on the wrist, it makes me one that was more violent. It makes me worse. If I recall correctly, and trust me I blocked a fucking ton, he bumped his head because he was high thus his balance was not all there, and I was trying to rip myself from his grip, so he lost his balance and hit his head. I don't remember hitting him. He's taller than me and in order to ""elbow him on his forehead"" it would require manoeuvre I don't think I'm physically able to do. I'm 5'5 and he's over 6' tall. 

After all of that, and million other smaller things, I carry a lot of resentment, guilt, anger and fear.

I'm scared he will show at my place, specially after last interaction that occurred couple of weeks ago. 

When we met I didn't abuse my prescription. At one point it felt like I'm going to go insane if I don't start again. I self medicated myself to be able to remain calm during all his shitshows. I was almost using my meds as prescribed until I needed that numbed out of my mind feeling to just go trough one more day with him. I should have left but I didn't want anyone's blood on my hands. I felt stuck. I felt trapped. 

He lied, manipulated, gaslighted and did everything he could to make a villain. 

I didn't heal. 

I don't know how to heal. 

How to forget and move the fuck on. 

He used every weak spot, every good quality I had and turned it against me. 

He made me purposely feel like I'm exactly kind of a person I don't wanr to be. 

I don't blame him for my addiction. That's all on me. I don't blame him for everything but I also refuse to blame myself for demise of that crap called relationship. 

He was hyperfocused on my ex. Talked about him daily. He rarely asked about me. My past. My experiences. He doesn't know me and after month and a half told me he loved me and that I'm his soulmate. I didn't reciprocate because I don't lie and specially not about things like that and he never let it go. 

I had legit feelings while I feel like he never had anything else but some weird dependency. 

That hurts the most. I did care. He did not.",1.9391719171917217,3.816888785778584,3.495139513951397,89.59637263726377,78.33393339333935,6.596219621962197,21.711071107110712,7.568754421927299,0.7256761476147617,4215,119,914,61,101,1393,398,1111,0.18600000000000005,0.736,0.078,-0.9990000000000001,0,1,2,0,2,1,128.0,4,0,0,2,35,57,10,9,38,3,96,31,13,18,18,183,185,76,1,27,28,2,11,6,0,13,15,5,2,9,50,56,0,7,20,2,1,18,35,30,1,12,68,18,147,27,132,92,27,119,0,3,2,3,126,60,4,19,44,601,197,3,0.08977717704340553,0.05318563716190295,0.0,0.2446759364658835,0.0,0.04386460918240771,0.039791025302041164,0.0,0.04494943726130756,0.0,0.0,0.07179477604601071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06105155898009532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03138714480604389,0.0,0.07387896719548763,0.0,0.041964770753760414,0.0,0.04217430655811498,0.06903310753195989,0.03748009641802665,0.1094546676880586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045836267725729365,0.05134058681239815,0.13730072299642596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03583988531688808,0.04966836940466501,0.0,0.02894942605622387,0.046278163714567916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856461262840407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05205651150151968,0.0,0.03749865573201102,0.050493620248078006,0.03975796579127385,0.09276382283798924,0.0,0.029648489364223582,0.0,0.0756411437169648,0.04289296999068711,0.12102890679122914,0.0439096530190436,0.0,0.050512141857383966,0.09078807643098534,0.06413683321813707,0.1724003378061631,0.04917325458865268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299755352647062,0.046904869588844746,0.04306122440252299,0.15306731588887265,0.07530083665469396,0.03590150489140692,0.0,0.0,0.0888935200206394,0.03969483058290158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842745687254763,0.04771447051353809,0.0,0.05319319352834485,0.0,0.09485451665541343,0.04502691427906157,0.0,0.17682487030518335,0.0,0.09610832484070632,0.0,0.0,0.18740809598090644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04674455730324434,0.09867837725408228,0.03659019084528847,0.0,0.14259160153190065,0.0975431655421349,0.1377048691750846,0.06341227517230902,0.13158178164910034,0.0,0.0,0.039724988280204064,0.0,0.0,0.04900119699300586,0.15265069092014186,0.04051370370834317,0.08494933563979848,0.08989044421151686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04986110243970667,0.04522053041658783,0.04523713932117951,0.0,0.13597403432626293,0.0,0.03582964309590808,0.04770946564752882,0.03299827751064418,0.09985295882280816,0.06924169352328112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24334135446486216,0.10241938298406916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0428512369936285,0.0,0.23516990438146404,0.04689902095613309,0.0,0.12730267628115916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05109304110038653,0.0,0.046152945184171436,0.0,0.1445806349610484,0.05085002028772437,0.07666921866090685,0.0,0.10709162186542652,0.08988261597561319,0.0,0.0715407866132988,0.0,0.046828587665525764,0.0,0.046077491051177664,0.07426460858205414,0.05045665425652611,0.0,0.0,0.07606791077092627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03177237399595838,0.0,0.07169616955677094,0.0,0.0,0.04692729908036285,0.0,0.04910083013000957,0.050939038300587665,0.0423069634470807,0.0,0.0,0.14431898841692903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11928793444312935,0.028762795002943844,0.0,0.07127305036447526,0.07852469085441427,0.0,0.0,0.08578593998137422,0.04987287351298253,0.09142921512569636,0.048825894228931084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11630798390962176,0.0,0.0,0.21181162026660502,0.035630472176716915,0.03600691807419014,0.0,0.040360231983772005,0.0832243425582852,0.04050496916752976,0.0,0.05161966148056284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09149061328604012,0.15943782684647306,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,buprenophine-doctors,2020/01/03,"3 Ways to Spot Addiction to Prescription Opioids  Keep an eye on prescription opioids. These are the [painkillers](https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/drugfacts/prescription-opioids) which doctors can legally prescribe. You’d think they’re less dangerous than illegal opioids, but they’ve done their part to fuel the [American opioid crisis](https://www.buprenorphine-doctors.com/featured-articles/what-you-need-to-know-about-the-opioid-crisis/). Their manufacturers are under [legal fire](https://theskimm.com/news/guides/oklahoma-opioid-trial) for the way prescription drugs have been marketed and given out. If you or a loved one take prescribed opioids for pain relief, consider a few signs you might’ve already seen. 

Read More:- [https://www.buprenorphine-doctors.com/featured-articles/3-ways-to-spot-addiction-to-prescription-opioids/](https://www.buprenorphine-doctors.com/featured-articles/3-ways-to-spot-addiction-to-prescription-opioids/)",24.154236760124608,28.315010981308426,14.193037383177574,25.06874610591905,27.971962616822424,14.236137071651092,47.739875389408105,13.295006501635747,7.404583800623055,833,32,66,19,6,207,83,107,0.092,0.792,0.11599999999999999,0.4902,0,0,13,0,1,0,95.0,0,3,2,0,0,4,1,0,6,0,7,6,1,0,0,8,13,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,4,2,5,2,9,8,4,5,0,0,2,1,6,3,0,2,0,37,7,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632451439852994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26647543957870123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24716153863071286,0.0,0.2471144069746476,0.0,0.0,0.2800361993812316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21463550272272836,0.0,0.0,0.13270922757921394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21794206492324267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561685188896398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17905184371855518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636307977884567,0.0,0.2569481343063482,0.0,0.0,0.2614956327330168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415419531454095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18156035568762735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547284588205788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16394676463264726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3833457802962936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,DerEisendrache68,2020/01/03,"I’m addicted to masturbation Hi umm, I’m 15 years old and, I just can’t stop, I normally do it about twice a day, even thrice a day, it’s fucking me up, I have been doing this for years, I don’t know how to stop, it’s just so difficult not to do it",3.5847701149425286,1.8290235689655177,5.987931034482759,86.5668390804598,71.93103448275863,10.491954022988507,27.95402298850575,9.725611199111238,1.8783954022988505,189,5,52,4,3,69,38,58,0.151,0.8490000000000001,0.0,-0.7678,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,6,2,1,0,2,0,7,2,0,1,0,9,11,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,2,1,1,1,0,5,0,6,10,0,8,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,7,33,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3292793458072214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3895948335163351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995013347662237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27924057963712723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659989125660966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29594510378734584,0.0,0.0,0.31695091648102103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5050550509820103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3890209028100344
addiction,Sarah_Rosa,2020/01/03,"Worried because friend wants to try Xanax + Codeine My friend wants to try xanax and codeine because they're curious, but I know they're not going to be strong enough to get out of their addiction once they become addicted. 

​

I don't know much about xanax or codeine, so could anybody please grant me information on why it's bad.",6.80828125,7.614975765625001,5.400000000000002,84.845,64.78125,8.9,34.75,8.841846274778883,2.73348125,275,12,53,4,4,80,48,64,0.08800000000000001,0.6779999999999999,0.23399999999999999,0.8606,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,1,2,4,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,11,9,4,0,3,3,0,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,6,3,8,7,2,3,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,0,25,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4264346093611759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21191704624707253,0.2376580581073184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16330590684250812,0.23845447948670045,0.21600906169892106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15615928271707624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20209233244460784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3022180846889104,0.0,0.1021854663619775,0.0,0.11115587213003356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21497759375392614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14377800881335656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20829240890870887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146943876170041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655797310208152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307230505868059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17648569117207055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19862679293725727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376580581073184,0.0
addiction,TeapotTheDog,2020/01/03,"I'm a sex addict. Any advice? So I haven't always been this way. Long story short, relationships really haven't worked out. (Mainly because I refuse to put my heart on the line again) I absolutely crave intimacy. Probably didn't get enough as a child, or something. And getting off helps with depression. Well I'm decent looking and have good game so hook ups come pretty easy.

But it's not healthy, nor is it what I want. I want a significant other, I just can't get over the last time I was hurt, hence the meaningless hook ups. Any advice?

(Also don't wanna slut shame anyone that's into the hooking up life style, it's just not something that I've ever wanted. But here I am using like a drug. Also I do let the chick know it's just a hook up. I refuse to lie or play games.)",0.366280323450134,2.7754005786163525,2.3540521114106063,91.67075471698116,90.38364779874216,5.04115004492363,16.37646001796945,6.655083550727371,-0.1259124887690919,608,14,128,8,21,202,105,159,0.10400000000000001,0.7140000000000001,0.182,0.8529,0,0,3,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,1,11,8,0,1,10,0,12,6,1,1,1,24,24,12,0,4,9,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,2,9,6,0,2,1,3,0,2,8,4,1,0,3,1,11,4,14,20,2,18,0,2,1,2,8,10,0,2,6,78,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17365655801987784,0.0,0.3113251413085399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547785015568261,0.13254734209801872,0.0,0.0,0.21665399032219934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11138372681469376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09710558956299388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13721971902786947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372017313989867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18473321775017668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645957344180546,0.0,0.0,0.1440926879587017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496773382628629,0.0,0.0,0.1336102386931554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18876696727194547,0.10677300002830158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17053006039296942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754511984528726,0.12984780381885308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16289133257189714,0.11251573818097962,0.07782416077006955,0.0,0.0,0.140972276059565,0.13376883228781752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620616779483052,0.1717484310261496,0.0,0.0,0.1601368513634051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10204933463330428,0.0,0.0,0.17102468804463558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452682586755201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928869952798018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13758091926074714,0.0,0.0,0.28187138150517105,0.12644204510267473,0.0,0.0,0.14322656875092638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11596965570091468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,lock_and_lag,2020/01/03,I know this isn’t as big as some of your problems but hear me out. I need help getting somebody off if vaping So slight backstory. He’s my best friend he’s 19 and he quit when Michigan put their first ban down. He’s been off it since September and he relapsed a few months ago. He hit me at a party and it sent him into a downward spiral. He didn’t tell me until today that he relapsed. He tried so hard to get off of it and he did so good for so long. He says the reason he went back to it was because he felt like he was failing at college and that he was failing at everything. I need tips on how to help him through this and keep him off. He knows I’m here for him and it’s killing me that he didn’t tell me sooner. Any help is appreciated,0.7339468302658503,2.3625366687116602,2.619779141104296,95.63478118609407,81.08588957055214,5.5736605316973415,21.296114519427405,6.42735559955562,0.07957537832310901,579,17,140,5,15,193,93,163,0.12300000000000001,0.687,0.19,0.9333,0,0,0,0,1,0,10.0,0,1,1,5,8,8,1,0,4,0,9,0,0,2,0,22,22,18,1,4,2,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,10,9,0,2,4,0,0,3,3,4,0,1,10,4,15,4,22,11,3,24,0,2,0,0,32,13,0,2,9,81,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15655451250902294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12010116579673052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13580253857010507,0.0,0.10766009427798104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18534177677975228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15872608926573625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16957373325242162,0.0,0.0,0.15022476300935894,0.0,0.0,0.13644879962061549,0.0,0.18454334707490444,0.0,0.0,0.14813247063267376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15820827807024054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990528187173093,0.0,0.35513479608502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15697948738143327,0.1953933017119923,0.0,0.1941209748797532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628294749371916,0.0,0.0,0.15629469528434028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14096878041402042,0.0,0.0,0.2619088294814791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16899235390587874,0.0,0.17754228765563654,0.0,0.18784695856301548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815849624209853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404477226349367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14609399362022074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3087306446089794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16740606105315173,0.0,0.0,0.11990690609616547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16371966139595706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,tiffybiffy,2020/01/04,"A conversation of our opinion on addiction between my coworker and I~ This is gonna sound a bit odd because I just copied and pasted it from my blog. Ignore it if you can. Smite me in your comment(s) if you want. 

Today, I had a bouncy conversation with a coworker I’ll call J. I use the adjective bouncy because we seemed to have spoken about 4 different topics in under 15 minutes. I like those types of conversations because it shows how much you can stretch into a single talk. For instance, the title of this post was one of the many topics we discussed while we vegged out at the front desk. I can’t be 100% on what steered the talk of drug and alcohol addiction. Regardless, he asked my opinion of it and I have to admit that I prefer asking other people about their thoughts rather than think it through, myself. I have a generic idea of what I think of addiction: it’s bad. 
So, I asked J what he thought of the subject and these were his words (paraphrased because we all know I don’t remember much), “Ultimately, they bring it upon themselves.” J and I spoke of some personal examples (he used to be a cop so he saw some shit) and he explained that he didn’t feel for people who spiraled into addicted because they should, at some point, find their limits. 
For the most part, I agree with him. Of course, there are days when someone may want to drink or even go as far as getting shit-faced, but you have to remind yourself of your responsibilities. The thing is, no one has the same situation and I really don’t enjoy generalizing the universe. 
The other side to this is people who either don’t become addicts or people who choose to seek help understand that drugs and alcohol outside of moderation are not good for you. Therefore, they should not make the mistake/keep making the mistake. That’s what confuses me. If there are people out there who understand then what’s to say about the others who don’t? Or maybe they do understand but choose not to change; therefore they are bringing it upon themselves, as J said. 
When I told him about wanting to turn our conversation into a blog post, he assumed you readers would scramble to your keyboards to disagree with him, but I can’t say I can agree with him. First of all, I don’t get comments. Second, I don’t know if there are too many people who disagree on his standpoint. 
I know some people may say, “Oh but addiction is derived from trauma and some people simply can’t stop using and don’t have the money for help.” However, that brings us back to the initial question of, “If people understand addiction is bad, why would they fall into it to begin with?” There’s plenty to dissect with this topic and I’m interested in hearing any other standpoints to this. Like I said before, I don’t like generalizing everyone’s situation so I can’t completely agree with J. However, you have to admit he does make a good point.",5.521761399736082,6.536429050632916,6.071830311323983,78.15094081423197,67.71609403254972,8.799354870240945,30.67831484287181,8.994212911058018,2.5514666829578223,2287,87,419,39,37,742,249,553,0.071,0.856,0.073,-0.20800000000000002,3,0,5,0,0,0,65.0,7,10,8,2,20,14,1,1,25,0,45,13,1,9,2,109,89,35,0,16,18,0,1,3,0,7,11,8,0,1,37,29,3,3,24,4,1,6,17,7,0,4,11,10,61,7,73,69,15,41,0,0,1,0,72,22,1,22,14,305,98,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4887563923595985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13689678101930838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043555190571721365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17963016355482878,0.0,0.0,0.049249359140737727,0.10695567938999698,0.19521691950864495,0.07073655936611266,0.05450057394243076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06992439646932025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654007009564317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06775484264728603,0.0,0.0671536556548485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041305997418735134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06691707237279597,0.0,0.0,0.05604929230946008,0.0,0.0,0.06274316701644375,0.14855190051326378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04230344403960036,0.0,0.0,0.061201106518527934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03238485664125949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058539187822735476,0.05447963921131586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06692541739515398,0.0,0.03640025046161025,0.1074417212433364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07218733802920943,0.0,0.08586074703227974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07230298415365162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05692926828305263,0.0,0.0,0.1055981763220256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387261637924263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825865526171992,0.12987029488576435,0.06434534801294428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416606484910504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680187078558793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693583067193483,0.0611415604997077,0.3996286197693597,0.05592469803764632,0.0,0.0,0.12109310924173185,0.0,0.1226815568708292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07174900167038131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04103112258454905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255448873729232,0.0,0.1218496207977023,0.1528018637658085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05830736798984541,0.0,0.0,0.13148977273161158,0.0,0.1439864421788771,0.0,0.0,0.054268103966035965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05354743142739175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10295955006925812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04255099136183755,0.08207941213340775,0.0,0.10169474270967313,0.0,0.0,0.060710508875258036,0.061201106518527934,0.0,0.0,0.06966639881118014,0.0,0.26670707645658503,0.07704248463124032,0.16595207358579944,0.0,0.0,0.11333243131053605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057793828058302014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099646329953097,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,melonhed01,2020/01/04,"BUPRENORPHINE fairy Since ANYTHING GOES. 

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17$ per strip. Unlimited supply",10.496447368421057,10.11515831578948,5.209934210526316,61.94016447368421,150.05263157894737,5.1605263157894745,49.743421052631575,5.985473137389443,5.981573684210527,124,9,10,2,8,32,18,19,0.0,0.8170000000000001,0.183,0.6166,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7052636797241792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7089450910062854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,letmeeaturass,2020/01/04,"I relapsed after 168 days, but I needed it. Let me jump in and explain my title better.


I’ve been a heavy drug abuser for a couple of years and developed an addiction to meth and pills, I drank a lot eventho I wouldn’t consider myself an alcoholic. I had no moderation. Fast forward years later and added trauma and failed treatment centers due to my location. I have kicked the habit on my own and it has been the longest I’ve been sober in YEARS!!! 168 days, on my own, no help. For the past 2-3 weeks my hunger for it came back and it felt more like needing closure from a toxic ex rather than the actual use. My perspective on meth was always so “chilled and laid back” basically unrealistic, even tho I kicked the habit for 168 days, my relapse needed to happen. Because of my relapse I have realized that my entire perspective and feeling towards this substance has altered. I immediately stopped myself from getting too f*cked up and went in fully accepting the consequences of the actions that followed. I am ashamed and humiliated and upset that I hurt those closest to me, but trust me when I say. It needed to happen. During the 168 of being sober I grew as a person as well I was able to mute the background noise of life and focus on me & now after my relapse I’m almost relieved. My partner does not understand but I’m hoping an ex addict feels this too. It’s been years since I’ve been therapy but almost 14 hours after using and coming back to my sense I booked an appointment without thinking twice about it. This has never happened, booking an appointment when I was sober almost seemed impossible. However this relapse helped my realize my addiction was just me reacting to the deeper underlying issues I have, which I am hoping a therapist can help with. 168 days was nothing. My goal is +1 year (I’ll check back in reddit)",4.498555194805191,6.3673136931818215,5.504334415584418,77.99034090909093,71.1590909090909,8.096753246753247,29.33279220779221,8.738905477910976,2.488363311688312,1468,59,258,27,28,483,189,352,0.106,0.7929999999999999,0.10099999999999999,-0.4472,2,0,4,0,1,0,37.0,0,0,0,3,16,13,0,2,21,0,24,9,0,3,1,51,50,24,0,8,8,2,3,1,1,1,7,1,0,2,16,17,3,1,10,2,1,8,6,5,1,1,15,4,40,8,39,32,4,48,0,2,0,0,9,14,0,7,29,182,56,4,0.0963575406032211,0.11416792911317515,0.0940310598864066,0.3151318264940828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10297690670551336,0.2894644742886707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08017719282351822,0.10440335498583483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29637200371142475,0.0,0.0587386623933665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08522041425106933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11020735650837067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830034891499415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10661778592775074,0.0,0.24857056891453574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432313312388619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11174415560526196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06364324679881855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744253549827554,0.0,0.09251834985931214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05034283795435828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556259647892911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19375928500966785,0.0,0.0,0.19140955917341287,0.09489276774571156,0.0,0.1031527401298052,0.0,0.0,0.1005722379147752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985321136899059,0.06806018055907694,0.047075427131357137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191973524259838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28579158166129914,0.07431687556715655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924576589860318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09198417558875788,0.0,0.08413568777113101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07662738379617022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772028602904079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970795331833433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08055921854934865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11019324532271613,0.11187853139713287,0.0,0.06174202127158253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10031159799913872,0.0,0.1664439545569839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772922068746532,0.0,0.08663700107771201,0.08932440550407568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288523061465008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3102554847120493
addiction,gingy760,2020/01/04,It’s time to stop Another night/day wasted doing cocaine. Now I feel like shit laying in bed trying to fall asleep but can’t because of the cocaine. I really need to stop otherwise I’m going to suffer medical problems or even death. I can’t keep going on like this. I feel like shit right now cause of the comedown and I don’t want to feel like this anymore.,1.9955791505791505,4.0457713378378415,3.681505791505792,87.49689189189192,78.86486486486487,6.390733590733591,22.73359073359073,7.447530270364453,0.9971374517374508,285,9,57,4,7,95,49,74,0.32299999999999995,0.536,0.142,-0.9559,0,0,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,8,2,0,2,0,4,4,3,1,0,13,13,3,1,3,2,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,1,0,3,3,0,0,3,3,4,0,0,0,3,5,4,9,13,0,11,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,1,9,29,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19203048044663304,0.0,0.0,0.18161831271463091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11163592255831044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18812760848895374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118105365575843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12095734362168108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27779200879451915,0.3924898607347215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.208156933930897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627766538203852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3578773178348077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844868104124783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357904895096867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718575229987549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17523314892212316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173194217708782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15639422489368993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3759659286403704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3062140783222442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10678608160865173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243350024252752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10801634200024486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,MeltAwayWorld,2020/01/04,"1 month clean, but reality is setting in I’ve been clean off of pain killers for over a month. As I was coming off of them, a friend of mine warned me that I will start to realize things and that reality may be difficult to cope with. I shrugged it off, but now I see what she meant. When on pain killers I accept, comply, and just do.  Since this is the first time I am clear for such a long length of time (on and off for over 10 years), I realize that I am unhappy with my marriage (pretty much roommate status that cares about me and fucks once every two months), work status (high stress white collar job, am underpaid vs. what others make), and my house is a God Damn mess (I clean as much as I can, she doesn’t really care. Shit is everywhere). That being said, be WARNED! Prepare for reality, figure out a way to deal with it, or change your environment. Getting off the sauce is just part of the puzzle",5.00987012987013,5.0903790879120905,5.450639360639361,85.45345154845157,68.56043956043956,9.035764235764237,26.43556443556444,8.841846274778883,1.5767296703296705,702,18,154,11,11,225,113,182,0.23800000000000002,0.625,0.13699999999999998,-0.9798,1,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,1,2,6,12,3,1,8,0,18,4,1,1,1,25,28,12,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,3,0,12,10,0,0,5,0,1,1,1,8,0,2,4,3,19,4,30,19,3,26,0,0,2,1,8,12,3,3,11,105,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32042154332392153,0.0,0.16622920513227826,0.13535887450660633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16200046492113107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13239397877683054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13365992404607974,0.0,0.0,0.12140299527271688,0.1452698333228393,0.08209714982776965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16602296379803125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18131401298914496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559333766867174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13906054289603798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10488959648477912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3762737135787517,0.0,0.2310262927151569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673448652824097,0.0,0.0,0.33440787285805496,0.0,0.0,0.1701631314428245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15986395018983654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066543772259597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14947245701915082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12521716250087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612979939897715,0.12998464234322438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112217716921435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17999892235778528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10439427198569426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18325469876265846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15349918018051706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247273572389076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11439698451361988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011905250013317
addiction,Jakovasaurus1,2020/01/04,Impulsive food addiction Been clean since November 17th 2019 of my food impulsive eating addiction and haven’t felt better. Actually started listening to my feelings instead of eating them away,11.08548387096774,13.206975129032262,10.248548387096774,49.19282258064519,55.774193548387096,15.232258064516133,47.75806451612904,13.816669648895859,8.37111612903226,163,10,18,7,2,52,25,31,0.0,0.833,0.16699999999999998,0.6808,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,3,6,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,4,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,3,1,4,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,11,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.21947035688949806,0.4903492846686077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2113013375045343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198906135404062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4602585296683744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371640428098433,0.0,0.21593966171369333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5439009345092151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18603994236414226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15918566703140022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,reddita822,2020/01/04,"Wondering if anyone else feels the same. There’s nothing worse than not caring enough to help yourself. You tell yourself next time will be different, but when the next time comes, you realize it still doesn’t matter to you. You hear your friends and family and strangers on the internet say the path leads to a shorter life, an unhappy life. And you start lying to them about how now you understand, and how you’re finally ready to change.  You lie so much you begin to imagine yourself years down the road as a changed man. But you still don’t really care. You just want to fell good right now. And so it repeats.",4.604199623352166,6.259210983050848,4.323333333333334,87.41874764595106,70.52542372881356,8.295291902071563,27.517890772128066,8.841846274778883,1.9735337099811685,488,17,97,9,9,148,81,118,0.076,0.758,0.16699999999999998,0.878,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,11,1,1,12,4,0,0,8,0,4,2,0,3,0,22,14,14,0,2,5,0,1,0,1,1,2,2,0,1,2,6,0,0,5,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,3,12,4,12,12,3,21,0,0,0,0,18,4,0,2,14,61,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11324047507333608,0.16593877371880406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3302413391662156,0.0,0.3426470938374063,0.13950714899311256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16920517767274576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352899607767677,0.0,0.0,0.16733951802092428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15267375845716605,0.0,0.08188770410282305,0.0,0.0,0.1774102979079793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12512357103630062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358374992196686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825314665427672,0.0,0.1085528882358706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287827137628221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11905321892125673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34447518650503073,0.0,0.0,0.1553971349857143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10375048012191974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830596567978945,0.0,0.12879058407886548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11463032868211775,0.0,0.2586698583677424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14155302519780522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18887081218101004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16859755163452572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955233769002491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756298356760531,0.0,0.0,0.16504273608326198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10429165948305134
addiction,cw9595cw,2020/01/04,"24/m, Drug-Induced Anxiety/Depression. I smoke weed then get really Stressed. 
I drink caffeine then get really Anxious.
I drink alcohol then get really Depressed. 

Addiction is terrible and is taking advantage of my life. 

Heres the thing, I could go sober but I don't want to be alone in my apartment all day doing nothing.",2.7739406779661024,5.799593745762709,4.286250000000003,77.46801906779662,86.11864406779661,9.051694915254236,29.408898305084747,9.188382445141503,3.839794915254238,257,13,42,9,8,85,46,59,0.20800000000000002,0.765,0.027000000000000003,-0.8005,0,1,5,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,1,0,6,5,0,0,1,5,12,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,7,1,3,10,1,7,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,25,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22049847614889945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161595475110106,0.0,0.20948532223329586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22850163994814796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16149197611893162,0.0,0.0,0.13044405639114956,0.0,0.3484207339293717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3962849817416624,0.23456294120106985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31702501329994576,0.0,0.11495174116562112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428656026271964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19407852080371274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3887280106532517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316936331901364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15207794967116142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13437573871985253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11930101344970218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,mjobby,2020/01/04,"Love/Connection and its relationship to Addiction I am curious what people think, of Love / connection and its relationship to addiction.  I am not simply referring to just with others, i also mean Self Love / self acceptance

I feel, and i dont think its just me, that there is a big correlation of being unable to connect and relate in this world, and in turn why we seek out soothing addictions?

I know that is simplistic, and as someone with cPTSD, i know the links between trauma and other issues, but beyond all that, i wonder if love is a big part of the answer? and if so, how does that connect

thoughts?",7.901578947368424,7.3992381052631595,8.277894736842107,69.55526315789476,62.68421052631579,11.810526315789476,34.78947368421053,11.20814326018867,3.9770631578947366,480,18,84,12,6,159,70,114,0.017,0.835,0.14800000000000002,0.9318,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,4,0,7,6,0,1,1,32,19,15,0,2,6,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,11,12,0,0,12,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,10,4,15,17,2,7,0,0,0,3,8,7,0,3,0,67,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4768973846934403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11661254687029625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12760844280097874,0.0,0.17090046041226944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737311918856566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15219864577919218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16027819190148224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5264345327354469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15884119928603888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579093178715276,0.0,0.10109352711639907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3131131446133357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3042450258785552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235531789167416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18687168984283686,0.0,0.1157651347904466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15861075673824673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315802590567709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15813603833387951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,understandme97,2020/01/04,"Worried my brother will relapse My older brother was addicted to Xanax for 3 years. I mean he took insane amounts (8 pills daily). We decided it was time for him to get rehabilitated and he did. When moving back home, he stayed off Xanax for 2 years, and as far as I know is still off of it. 

I always thought the demon he was fighting was the drug itself, but in actuality it was his depression and anxiety. He managed to replace his addiction of Xanax to steroids and going to the gym. On the outside, he looks like a Greek god, but on the inside is a void. He goes out with friends and takes drugs (on occasion, I’d say every few weeks) such as molly, and cocaine, but is not addicted by no means.

Tonight, I tried talking to him. He opened up slightly, but shut down as soon as I disagreed with his suggestion of getting medication for his ‘anxiety’ from his new therapist. I’m afraid that he will become self reliant on these pills, and relapse. He explained to me how although we had similar “fucked up” childhoods (in actuality we did not have it so bad), my ability to handle it is different than his, and he can’t handle it, and it affects him every day. How every morning he wakes up, his mentality is, “here we go again, another day to live.” He then explained that one day, he will not be here no more (suicidal). I’ve heard this in the past. 

I have my own demons I’m fighting, and I am going back to school soon, and will not be around him for a while. I’m really afraid, but at the same time, I just don’t know what to do anymore.",4.151869086396772,4.986067859934856,5.409148441135415,82.31979370249731,70.72638436482085,8.583775399410579,30.25422677214209,8.841846274778883,2.3005425469210485,1191,48,246,21,21,398,163,307,0.077,0.853,0.07,-0.5409,1,0,3,0,4,0,47.0,4,0,0,0,15,9,3,2,10,0,25,13,1,3,0,42,45,28,1,0,10,2,0,1,1,4,11,2,1,1,13,20,0,0,8,1,0,5,8,7,0,1,11,3,28,2,45,28,5,47,2,1,1,1,41,19,1,0,23,165,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.2219245847926168,0.371874462726057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09461389804970766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11923241602543015,0.1739721267551658,0.0,0.1127674636290128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122394194058314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17486837313986836,0.09494116258219172,0.0,0.12558119814834354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199961389007919,0.0,0.0979362575013199,0.0,0.0,0.1188003233470946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26372961621040186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874108717639764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08785027090722394,0.10512091718487217,0.11881513857016572,0.0,0.19386808349878695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11405807342285038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12498153358165692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05555182847392216,0.0,0.10040596397931048,0.0,0.0954858125404628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24772199445475696,0.0,0.11454852416733073,0.11459059632994105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12085326793804467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10981958515550616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705126622255504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10854684611492556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284405096479317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042491041392556,0.0,0.1150782419416973,0.0,0.0,0.11862190815786545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12119725676859175,0.09080709951343506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12437774557195914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549402368394518,0.09139392539288528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13202337960196572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902711960357686,0.13260772434120668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263334154700784,0.07720005022751172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912094415349781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154756677578231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14644803473986426
addiction,Person-25,2020/01/04,"I need some help I need some help. My mom is addicted to alcohol and gambling. She is wasting all of her money away. I need help, please anything. She refuses to get professional help and says she doesn’t need it. What can I do.",0.5265942028985506,2.9646296304347857,2.5347826086956537,90.54463768115944,89.65217391304346,6.544927536231885,22.88405797101449,7.793537801064563,1.3618666666666677,177,7,38,4,6,59,31,46,0.053,0.6890000000000001,0.258,0.8555,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,10,10,2,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,2,1,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,9,0,4,10,3,1,0,0,0,0,11,1,0,2,0,25,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255643651295616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22112575085593295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17027075253680998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19440041429834612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10810285722323047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5547543781584264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24233255837682915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6136898077923714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271269834887775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645445403260176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,kingcali420,2020/01/04,what are healthy ways in dealing with stress Going through a break up at the moment. All i wanna do is a line. i have never really had to deal with a stressful situation like this since being sober. If anyone has advice that would be great. My girlfriend was the main reason i got clean and now I'm afraid I'm going to turn back to coke. I'm scared and i need help,1.7850187969924818,3.678225960526316,3.083759398496241,92.29131578947369,78.86842105263158,5.395488721804512,18.75187969924812,6.1826913282559595,-0.1941593984962404,287,6,62,2,7,93,60,76,0.11,0.71,0.18,0.6908,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,4,5,0,10,1,0,1,2,11,18,3,0,4,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,4,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,3,0,5,2,10,12,2,11,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,5,41,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20265781981442205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14501098847458765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15946909511110385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4276172494508677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357275344981707,0.0,0.16586767430421626,0.22864675404056456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13900826197223834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131963441345583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15377607988328915,0.15995093665754515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13285850017362888,0.21323010562214054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076322499202861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17155406083780367,0.233113567802142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4751260690531297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255793328461525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16461548261526146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473229694138677,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Mirandaxoxo1996,2020/01/04,"Advice for an addict with good intentions? Long story short, I’m a heroin addict.  I never got too deep into it to where I was shooting it up, or stealing, anything crazy that people always think “a heroin addict behaves” I got on a medication program, about 2 years ago on suboxone. The only issue with that is I do NOT like taking it, I avoid it at all costs, my fiancé would literally have to wait till I was asleep to give it to me, only because it makes me sick! Because of the TASTE. Ever since I was younger, I refused to take any medication orange flavor because it makes me nauseous and throw up, even with the smallest amount. I cannot do it. If I do, I have to take sips of a drink every 10 seconds to withstand it. Which is an issue cause I’m not suppose to do that, my doctor says. But he refused to give me subutex when I requested that, because I’m not pregnant, and he’s from a town where a lot of people abuse the situation. Note that I drive an hour away for this appointment. I believe that he thinks, I lie to him, just as a normal addict you think would. The first time He thought I was lying about how much heroine I did, he had me on full 8mg strips, which made me nod out at work even while driving! It was so upsetting he finally bumped me down to 2mgs. Point is, I feel as if, I would purposely not take my medication and would buy subutex off the street, and If I couldn’t find that. Dope. JUST TO AVOID THAT TASTE THAT MAKES ME LITERALLY SICK. I am very honest with my doctor, and one of the nicest people ever, I don’t want to take advantage of the system or him as well. I want to GET BETTER but I want to get better with taking a medication I’m okay with. Fast forward to now, my insurance dropped me because I made too much income, but he said I can apply for MOD. I waited too long, and now I have nothing and no medication. Iv been getting subutex off the street and if I can’t find that back to dope.. which I don’t get to get high. I get it to FEEL NOT SICK. I’m in the process of getting back on insurance and I found a place that it 100% closer, to save me gas, how can I explain this to the doctor to think that subutex is something that I prefer and if I had 24/7 there is no desire to ever get dope again??? They think I’m a liar because I’m an addict. I just got engaged, I want to have a family, and I want to be HAPPY. I don’t know what to do, I know if I keep getting suboxone, heroin will never leave my life, which is not what I want. How can I solve this issue without being treated like I’m a liar or anything else. If there another tasting suboxone I can try??? I need help and advice.",2.7177443475164687,3.7882083211678825,4.50188000712124,86.59238116432259,74.36496350364962,7.244151682392736,24.86220402350009,7.678348718463194,1.1493327755029368,2032,63,439,26,41,691,224,548,0.092,0.7979999999999999,0.109,0.7306,1,2,2,1,1,0,70.0,0,1,1,5,28,19,2,3,27,1,42,23,1,10,6,97,98,35,0,22,23,0,2,2,0,5,18,2,0,0,34,20,4,7,15,1,2,4,17,6,1,3,17,8,65,13,64,73,6,55,0,0,0,0,20,28,0,11,25,302,99,5,0.0,0.07415341458851209,0.0,0.3411363880319063,0.0,0.12231537400086127,0.055478143227694295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05207603103750536,0.0,0.0,0.0425601892344052,0.06562620424279451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030048331872248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05880100354287096,0.0962485534876236,0.0,0.2289087181661403,0.0,0.0,0.07051226609369382,0.0,0.11070332550395748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06429240206913743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19217629606933606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06130982384266034,0.0,0.0,0.0522820354025859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267407672698453,0.16983611677854438,0.052730862966995695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05899990508441413,0.0,0.06329007444986208,0.0,0.0,0.06855919997872506,0.11440376582723998,0.05323507310655967,0.0,0.06862161412273843,0.0,0.0,0.2942843955435209,0.12007515548188245,0.0,0.05249362851778575,0.1501656829903101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06662327681473264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04194964588071138,0.06612486635940991,0.0,0.0,0.06163397026430865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19596855908972147,0.0,0.055628741357776235,0.0,0.0,0.06879055145253574,0.0,0.0,0.06626885696632454,0.0,0.0,0.04420588886186429,0.061152088719107225,0.0,0.0,0.11077214385901166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05320783286174647,0.0,0.11843955700936565,0.12532863631718935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3152408167722025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920148778327063,0.04640624956030511,0.09653937191750747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06132036220750332,0.06005233844504663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042409457954863984,0.09519796914591848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301664199498869,0.0,0.06538837795942694,0.0,0.05916339220034007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05953300687263841,0.04977038826584717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05177125445235144,0.07034856403889181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04818126583728834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28233839991756504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20051084995795188,0.0,0.04968578299227935,0.03649402524868793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04249134952280191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05163947439551314,0.2214867922586162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056271752579941985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060330051253621675,0.0,0.04556288563842818,0.0,0.0,0.17783536918808104,0.0,0.0,0.040302918279976715
addiction,BDady,2020/01/04,"How do you overcome the feeling of knowing you'll never be as happy as you were while on drugs WARNING: I talk about taking drugs in this, so if you feel that reading about that could be triggering, then please click away.

About 9 months ago was my senior prom. I'm 100% convinced that night will be the best night of my life for the rest of my life. I know for a fact that I will never ever ever feel that level of happiness ever again. 

Before I went into the prom room with my friends, I took 100mg of molly. I had done molly twice before but neither were in a party setting and therefore neither gave me the happiness that it did on prom night. After prom was over, my friends and I went to our hotel room and all of them went to sleep, except for me who decided to take a relatively small dose of lsd. I spent the rest of the night looking out the window and during this time reached a state of euphoria so intense that I cried twice. 

The timelines a little messy since I didnt sleep that night so I'll explain. Prom was saturday night, I got home sunday afternoon and slept the rest of the day, then returned to school on monday. On Monday I felt pretty depressed and all I could think about was: holy shit I'm never going to feel anything remotely like that ever again.

That same thought has haunted my brain for the past 9 months and I still havent been able to overcome it. I tried recreating the feeling multiple times with multiple different drugs, but I never got there. I'm now 5 weeks clean from hard drugs but I'm still struggling to accept that what I was feeling was an artificial feeling, and that I'm never going to feel it again. Everytime I think about that night I get depressed. I know I'll never be that happy again but at the same time my brain thinks there is going to be another occasion where I successfully recreate that night.

If theres anyone who has or is struggling with a similar situation, do you have any advice?",6.221168831168832,6.104259987012987,6.314480519480523,80.96029220779224,66.012987012987,9.07792207792208,30.48701298701299,8.575989854853784,2.1755714285714283,1545,50,302,20,22,492,177,385,0.109,0.759,0.133,0.7146,1,0,4,0,0,0,30.0,1,5,1,2,24,16,1,2,21,0,31,13,6,3,13,60,69,24,0,4,8,0,10,1,2,3,7,0,5,0,23,13,0,0,19,2,1,7,10,5,0,2,24,12,37,11,47,35,10,71,0,2,2,0,14,17,1,3,46,213,60,9,0.06579078451102452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428999319024753,0.05831956088023616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044739989529628384,0.06898737396398498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046002446242041584,0.0,0.05414020991443508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06181260774829949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11196622379727184,0.0,0.06904336937547506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468885476661944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505717597438824,0.0,0.07226808748811853,0.04242961327380618,0.0,0.11333101259032904,0.0,0.0,0.06873736695933721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732681462727326,0.0,0.0,0.30518569136441503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23804612473487455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661263795253237,0.0,0.0631694705033402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10165959382424054,0.0,0.0343729694925183,0.0,0.1121712569605178,0.0,0.10523780095202014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28014205394661024,0.058935620294834686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06599352111724056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10847068376880616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09293995352957288,0.03214205409119816,0.06593964993929419,0.0,0.0,0.055247689156771904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10502715303200573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30445145332868584,0.0,0.0,0.4939215557890203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06280474819821119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722185247913113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693288006169021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580858843166887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658378632750826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753329486158896,0.05442281681072746,0.0739515983162051,0.13167659565755732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050812109918502,0.0,0.0,0.13755762536342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09893296437626788,0.05288014047933719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12646823459765602,0.0,0.0522305339998104,0.11508940657155728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730959823486504,0.04466762406246864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05277339889579797,0.0,0.0,0.18296614911415346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,winniedom,2020/01/04,"small, yet achievable goals. i’m going cold turkey off of suboxone after having been on it 3 months, for many reasons. i’d been on the same dose, 2mg/0.5mg 2x a day. i have been unemployed and also found out i didn’t get a job that i wanted very badly (i got to the final round interview and everything) today’s an awful day, and i’m fucking terrified. however i’ve written myself some small goals that i can achieve over the next few months. wish me luck, god bless you all! 


* Successfully detox from subs. 
* Find a job even just for extra $$, if it is stable that’s a plus! If not, it’s okay. 
* Exercise, exercise, exercise. SERIOUSLY. 
* Please eat regularly and at least have a slightly balanced diet. 
* Find a counselor and psychiatrist that accepts medicaid (when approved).
* Finish volunteer community service work. 
* Just drink a lot of water. A lot. 
* Journal. Everyday. 
* Practice one form of self love at least everyday. 

just wanted to share :) trying to stay positive even though i have little hope.",1.9306826826826828,4.767124502702707,3.6022222222222275,81.44037037037039,90.45945945945944,6.848848848848848,24.689689689689693,7.921354282810032,2.1852782782782785,783,33,135,19,27,259,127,185,0.075,0.726,0.19899999999999998,0.9694,5,0,1,0,0,0,48.0,0,1,0,7,9,11,1,0,12,2,10,11,0,1,1,28,23,11,0,6,6,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,7,7,4,0,5,4,0,1,2,3,0,1,7,2,9,8,18,16,10,25,1,0,1,2,5,10,1,7,13,84,16,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12499592231588663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13050696661431854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016057663078025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15311801018501986,0.0,0.1599375910706861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.206474090592824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047558577760672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17122293985967724,0.2857172942805156,0.0,0.0,0.17137881585050138,0.0,0.1445001478429964,0.08166217318662149,0.0,0.08883093069652348,0.0,0.1250102573912569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15524472999481465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3102143847692537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15665725692916638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657674409554857,0.14107009006369886,0.0,0.0,0.15846730473326606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495200643652357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662306383496839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10591535594260916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17157440180063727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16070612009968427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16305873012965513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16659882723842312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15356748095385733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14815752468891527,0.0,0.0,0.106119875759299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289668289821359,0.1843838109856306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17974141161083312,0.0,0.0,0.113790873142085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,davyfiggy,2020/01/04,"I'm going to be 24 this year And I've been a drug addict sine 14, it's been ten years, started with weed then experimented with other things. The things that stuck where the uppers cocaine, adderall, ritalan. On top of that I drink everyday 
Sometimes secretly I'm keeping it from my boyfrind, we argue everyday and it just makes me want to use. And it only makes me feel worse. But I can't help it I want to be high I want to be drunk im scared of being sober. Im a peice of shit. I always start the fights because I'm usally comming down . I'm not sure what to do. I upset everyone around me. They all say I don't put effort in anything. But I do! I try so hard to keep people happy. But yet someone's getting upset ,
And I hate that.. it's 12am I'm going to sleep I work in the mornings ♥️",-0.9046486349848308,1.1982728779069802,2.0079170879676447,93.98642568250759,93.47674418604653,4.619211324570273,17.94337714863499,6.280692351149826,-0.1224254802831144,613,18,139,7,23,214,106,172,0.20199999999999999,0.742,0.055,-0.975,0,0,3,0,1,0,20.0,1,0,1,3,5,9,4,3,6,0,10,6,2,3,2,25,31,9,0,3,5,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,14,8,2,2,2,2,0,3,3,7,0,1,3,3,17,2,18,24,1,20,0,0,0,0,7,9,1,0,8,80,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653235441998367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261869785960191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247970363882161,0.13500282366920735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244591975807323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14856165638636368,0.17586868378678508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14491040521891285,0.0,0.14834518601516727,0.0,0.0,0.07668003024456085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07923214060877007,0.0,0.17237515282064325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16143684220793586,0.1358507985491862,0.14972538767063545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10164943374904108,0.16022912902002906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32762131749921664,0.0,0.0,0.26959131313143403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024583624282673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11533851424227085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051367069833416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15245258875492715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12060010706835292,0.15183054829252898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15566905022307184,0.0,0.0,0.15176196144901916,0.0,0.12849462017160787,0.0,0.14998814077488987,0.0,0.2146807549824984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14293062984515398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015022848923043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029620519445528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13097901654744715,0.0,0.0,0.2683456146447694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11040478239765301,0.0,0.15454679225856216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19531839831225947
addiction,okurhunni,2020/01/04,"my boyfriend’s brother has relapsed for the 5th time in the last year i’m not well educated on the topic of addiction and i guess i just need someone to talk to process what is happening.  

my boyfriends brother has been struggling with a heroin addiction for the past 10 years and has been in and out of rehab and sober living multiple times. the toll that the disease has taken on their family is a lot. and i have become the person that they want to reach out to the brother to see how he is doing and try to convince him to go back into rehab but i don’t even know what to say or do and it’s a lot for me to handle.  

i guess im just looking for advice from someone who’s been in a similar situation or what things to say or just more education on the topic. i have read many articles and done research but it’s also just hard on me too i guess.",5.172191011235952,4.635979814606742,6.334022471910112,81.3545168539326,68.26966292134831,9.367191011235958,30.721348314606747,8.841846274778883,2.237115056179776,669,23,143,10,10,226,99,178,0.043,0.935,0.023,-0.5118,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,2,0,10,3,0,1,13,0,16,4,0,1,0,31,28,15,0,2,10,3,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,9,12,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,1,0,5,5,14,2,28,23,3,18,0,0,2,0,12,10,0,8,7,107,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31392112867822725,0.0,0.14069658649790015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11514156977951742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11071251706244098,0.0,0.0,0.15901572471998274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473425727360506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950981058789086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357324917964723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818277317841213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4758339787127321,0.0,0.12732194059685342,0.0,0.1289787132825124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555242090081316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912820323479364,0.11736374829719218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12713787862987622,0.0,0.12090779436315155,0.0,0.0,0.24481502901003474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14597415569770447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676010204994564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374461755066557,0.0,0.1257186731711862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14401998343943773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22899897236566624,0.0,0.0,0.11473423175855728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16184069919503846,0.0,0.0,0.243989302241145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15052022387152827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11572649007685375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565459204675147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16791298140567085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09775366150628474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492373609261747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294562285227774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18543811272184368
addiction,HereAtManorFarm,2020/01/04,"The Epic Battle for Mental Health and Inner Peace, and the warrior women who lead it >Prudentius offers us a profound and empowering vision of what it means to struggle with self-destructive habits and addictions.  
>  
>But make no mistake. Our psychic struggle *is* a war, he says—a titanic struggle, and it won’t be easy. Restraining our worst impulses will take every ounce of strength we can muster, and steely resolution.  
>  
>But it's worth it, he implies. Impulses *can* be tamed and brought to heel. We can win the war by enlisting the coping mechanisms—those warrior women—that can defeat them.  
>  
>You don’t have to be a Christian or even believe in God to appreciate this poem. In fact, it may be better if you don’t.

More [here](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ancient-insights/202001/the-epic-battle-mental-health-and-inner-peace).",5.73444870565676,8.687485402684565,5.429170661553215,75.09424496644296,70.81208053691276,8.015532118887824,29.43480345158197,8.841846274778883,2.8116669223394046,691,28,107,14,14,213,97,149,0.18,0.665,0.155,-0.6124,1,0,0,0,0,0,57.0,5,1,1,5,1,12,3,3,7,0,15,3,1,2,1,19,19,9,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,9,10,0,1,1,0,1,2,4,9,0,0,1,0,7,3,11,11,2,5,1,1,0,0,12,3,0,3,0,62,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19308288737452176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19954939447001502,0.0,0.1566449555087221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169836318075215,0.0,0.14922810395802028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37653264433648187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11822649151386225,0.0,0.0,0.19293155116731384,0.0,0.0,0.3569831019289776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18477090654542927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5554811724029677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13316939935982233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4260981515926142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Teh-Voice-of-Reason,2020/01/05,"""This is valuable practice"" You need to learn how to tolerate the duress through practice.",8.992,10.841985533333332,5.993333333333332,78.81000000000002,60.33333333333334,8.666666666666668,48.33333333333334,8.841846274778883,4.848333333333335,73,5,11,1,1,20,13,15,0.0,0.8190000000000001,0.18100000000000002,0.4767,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Chegx6,2020/01/05,"Slippery slope Me and my friends usually smoke weed and/or drink to get fucked up, but recently they've been wanting to try stuff like acid, lsd and other pills and shit. I always told myself i'd never do any pills, but if they do stuff like that i'll just wanna do it and the effects do sound great so i'll probably keep using them. I'm already in love with weed, alcohol and cigs i don't wanna extend it to more stuff i can waste my money on.",4.096451612903227,4.482034935483874,4.919516129032259,87.39927419354841,70.61290322580646,7.920430107526883,25.177419354838708,7.793537801064563,1.1317612903225809,351,9,76,4,6,114,66,93,0.124,0.691,0.184,0.8190000000000001,0,0,3,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,2,1,2,7,2,0,1,0,7,7,1,2,1,17,15,9,0,4,4,0,0,2,1,0,3,1,0,0,7,6,2,1,1,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,2,2,9,5,9,13,1,6,0,0,0,2,5,3,2,1,5,45,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19765344895523515,0.0,0.0,0.2040950094876615,0.0,0.15389177239938248,0.0,0.0,0.12577116236486305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18117888918696085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14289057077614373,0.17098169080117154,0.09662783501867107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039061151174157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16439051581579806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18071276038932374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16692303004957684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426435036879885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19940551080897398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18261409938959167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18984673627261864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6351645449148522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17672599301743444,0.0,0.12556773163062632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15973591909308604,0.2036943846335852,0.0,0.10908727855746188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,hashtageverythingsux,2020/01/05,"Help or advise, please! I am addicted to pills and have been since I was a teen. I never purchase illegally. I stopped for a long time, but when ever the opportunity arises, like I have a surgery, or my pets are prescribed tramadol I go back into the cycle. I crave the feeling of euphoria. I have had depression and anxiety for a long time, which has somewhat been controlled by SSRIs. However I was just diagnosed with idiopathic Hypersomnia via a sleep test (which was a long time coming and the excessive sleepiness was ruining my life) and need to take stimulants to give me enough energy to have a normal life. In addition, because the stimulant comedown is terrible, I have been given Klonopin to take at night. I will also have another surgery in March which I will need pain meds for. Throughout this process I have been dealing with extreme anxiety. My addiction has made it so I am unable to take the medicine as prescribed and finding I am taking more and more a day to try to reach the euphoric feeling and make my anxiety subside. I need the stimulants to function in life normally. I want to be able to take them normally, I do not want to WANT the “high” feeling. Idk what to do. This is a part of my anxiety too. Anyone have any advice? Or experience with being an addict but needing to take medication for a condition. Please looking for any help.",4.608134453781517,6.688553062745098,5.619439775910362,76.40176470588237,71.31372549019608,9.249299719887958,33.31932773109244,9.725611199111238,3.6029327731092433,1081,54,189,28,21,356,137,255,0.111,0.7340000000000001,0.155,0.8744,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,1,2,7,6,0,0,20,0,31,11,1,6,2,44,54,16,0,10,7,0,3,1,0,2,10,0,1,0,7,13,0,2,4,0,1,2,2,4,0,0,11,4,25,2,31,39,5,22,0,2,1,0,6,6,0,4,15,140,32,2,0.09368384254910823,0.0,0.0,0.3063876498991677,0.0,0.09154676668294066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749189350394818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12741645097848325,0.09823567735744837,0.28667153250445804,0.0,0.0,0.06550592096817248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07203709216177494,0.0,0.05710880087594741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070033502172833,0.0,0.0,0.1050743955176474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06041832817325241,0.09658392802440864,0.0806897563112677,0.09508712815795148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680045262289634,0.0,0.0,0.08474239908687511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916407745330018,0.0,0.0,0.14210809703202154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562533486397524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08987007833733404,0.053242686665656964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12558860978004044,0.09898212325300834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19851500565843505,0.045769193315822895,0.0,0.0,0.2487217577920828,0.07867083286258404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08864591700051458,0.06253469236848927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10406162956155353,0.09437661532811488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27786152874602044,0.07225475479956804,0.0,0.0,0.08791593991479785,0.2753708242048554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996862136742702,0.0,0.0,0.10145047205687363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20567345277800572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07749624265873882,0.0,0.09375149989979263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832388725583651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4226315429932155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16388340592766965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06360517952191093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657714728003833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,thegiversees,2020/01/05,"Proud As the title states, I am proud of all of you fighting your addiction. As someone who loves someone that does suffer from this- I know how challenging it is. Please know the people who love you can help, as long as you let them. I send all my love and hopeful energy that you and your loved ones.",2.1744999999999983,4.465879450000003,2.666666666666668,93.755,79.5,6.0,20.0,7.1686216300943375,0.3365000000000005,237,6,50,3,6,73,41,60,0.071,0.523,0.406,0.9803,0,0,0,0,2,0,7.0,0,6,1,3,1,10,1,0,2,0,4,5,0,1,2,8,11,7,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,11,8,7,10,2,3,0,1,0,4,16,0,0,1,1,36,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22034846532118435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768828605631599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354815905730548,0.0,0.0,0.20075790065808174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221676281532668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20668873986453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788761969991586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7297106994300072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13696661076483513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14012953898870778,0.0,0.0,0.2218749500437963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3425234136357241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Gallotan,2020/01/05,"Recovery with Russell Brand starts Jan 13th. I found this free course with Russell Brand, and I wanted to share it with anyone and everyone that is interested.  
I will be doing it.. I hope you will too!  Enjoy:)  


 [https://www.onecommune.com/recovery-russell-brand-sign-up](https://www.onecommune.com/recovery-russell-brand-sign-up)   
 

### This course is FREE from January 13-24. 

"" **Are you feeling unsatisfied, limited, empty, or anxious?**  
**Are you attached to a habit, pattern or belief that causes you pain?**  
**Do you have a problematic relationship to work, romance, social media, drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, food, pornography, or your family?**

The 12-step process moves the root causes of our suffering from unconscious unawareness to conscious awareness and offers **a** **systematic approach for healing** and radical change in any area of your life.

If you are willing to make the commitment, this program is a tool for creating **a new perspective** and a new life.""",5.911928597718071,8.120931545454546,4.444065145380936,69.90350662495402,114.66433566433572,7.099668752300332,28.238682370261326,7.273561745256523,3.3939902097902106,773,35,98,20,38,225,96,143,0.078,0.757,0.165,0.9329999999999999,0,0,2,0,0,0,83.0,1,8,0,2,1,9,0,0,9,0,13,8,0,4,1,24,19,9,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,0,7,8,2,1,4,0,3,2,0,2,0,0,1,1,13,9,15,14,0,7,1,1,0,1,13,2,0,5,3,67,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028064471035907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12905012648215222,0.0,0.0,0.21438611566702725,0.0,0.13269161589974082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3898921864828744,0.20075152693942205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22007298439933254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18133339410048552,0.0,0.0,0.17889829322994613,0.0,0.09595342807142568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22947067104081076,0.20807304058671905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18848445675609912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26808036578314226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12667296722993512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016955071767072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3665621510082893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20192868949652107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037419905436136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19344664516881305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13432020250796456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11193127924344566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13815484048124832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ruinedsoul99999,2020/01/05,"I ruined my whole life with drugs. My brain is fucked and I don't want to continue living anymore. I feel so stupid and everyday makes me feel worse not better. Hello everyone thank you for reading my story. I am at the end of my rope and I need to get this off my chest. I smoked marijuana for a year and a half basically smoking everyday. Jan 2015 - March 2016. That was the absolute last time I touched marijuana, during this time there was a three month period where I also abused ritalin, and benzos. I was stupid and in college and everyone around me was doing it, so I got caught up in it. Jan 2015 was basically the first time I ever smoked weed and I got hooked. In march 2016 when I quit cold turkey and the months that followed were the absolute worst months of my life. I was SO anxious all the time, was having panic attacks every day, couldn't eat anything. This lasted severely for about 3 months and then started to get better. Before I started smoking weed I NEVER had any problems with anxiety, or depression. Yet here I am, 4 years later been sober for 4 years ( Absolutely 0 drugs, or alcohol) and anxiety is absolutely killing me. I have terrible health anxiety, palpitations, stomach aches and Im just generally always anxious dizzy, and feeling like a fucking idiot. I eat healthy, exercise daily, I do everything right now, but I look back on pictures of myself before I started smoking and i remember how easy going and carefree I was. I ruined my life and I don't want to live anymore. I gave myself 4 fucking years to recover. I thought who knows it will get better. BUT IT HASN'T ITS STILL TERRIBLE. The worst part about it is I am pretty successful, I made it to medical school and I am doing well here grades wise. But I cant shake the anxiety and the feeling that I am NOT who i used to be and its fucking killing me. I don't fucking know what to do anymore I just wish I could go back and never pick up that first joint. 

I fucking hate myself because of all this, but am trying to get into therapy soon.

Can anyone PLEASE offer advice ???? Anyone had something similar happen and had something that helped? I really need some help. I cant take this anymore.",3.4810202382477264,5.584253372037917,4.824458819008584,80.78789739976945,74.521327014218,7.879697707185858,27.756116305879345,8.685302888712808,2.3089032150634057,1721,69,316,35,37,571,208,422,0.17300000000000001,0.713,0.115,-0.9521,1,0,7,0,1,2,51.0,0,1,0,7,23,31,13,2,13,0,39,21,3,5,5,63,79,34,2,8,10,0,5,1,0,1,10,0,0,0,21,25,3,0,8,2,0,5,11,23,1,4,19,7,55,8,31,56,7,56,0,3,1,6,8,12,6,3,40,222,76,5,0.0,0.08345435055651397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06882859108352098,0.0,0.07527394898183891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056327109422710686,0.05860783854543035,0.0,0.0,0.04789844097981536,0.0,0.2155313442622377,0.15914375271207742,0.2794116905774095,0.09850004344736643,0.0,0.057962276622886874,0.06270237849273395,0.0,0.08013035833959267,0.0,0.10832084493864844,0.0,0.04293672453090887,0.0,0.11987055917245695,0.0,0.0,0.18688298143071103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07862912469325346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05623688109697585,0.0,0.0,0.04542496206544545,0.0,0.06066584810157057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633652463868156,0.14414585733887253,0.0,0.0,0.06238479769375661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06371279014569466,0.05934480492388423,0.1346079560207627,0.06330273455895744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14245688048746782,0.05031901513821757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198245145578164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.390697975822649,0.14719821509551945,0.0,0.08006004453200255,0.0,0.11266713852062366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062285731327475835,0.0,0.0,0.06954030791755088,0.0,0.07486946403845215,0.0,0.0,0.09442263643494768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07608224514791978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15585251763073055,0.0,0.07741883266944273,0.11482839265183288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492516736907696,0.03441114530967293,0.0,0.1243913768948854,0.0,0.059147939151714964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06664761403953683,0.04701613094071833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709561866533517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22488323952110448,0.0,0.0,0.1044538121490296,0.10864814022680884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264068577104243,0.0,0.07627460050682403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731684302418497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07165805443742486,0.0,0.06739710006895834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491664546534615,0.07045439263842031,0.0,0.04512267717472919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07978950042432399,0.060151388536946265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07128431618225464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07957187635603871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10844911921465528,0.0,0.0,0.14956347120932995,0.0,0.05624974699030142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052958603756452456,0.0,0.0,0.06484739027051517,0.08054894045599931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05591778577590869,0.16428563368107396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04782096682092152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06083351182555539,0.0,0.0,0.08308916726833107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06332982226503465,0.0,0.0,0.07863853260564117,0.08099715552328149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177962060096209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814321775606424
addiction,bigfredtj,2020/01/05,Close Friend OD’d On Heroin Last Night She didn’t make it. Her daughter texted me letting me know she found her dead. Addiction I hate you for taking everything from her. That’s all.,1.134095238095238,3.654469314285716,1.182142857142857,96.97702380952384,98.71428571428572,4.61904761904762,17.261904761904766,6.42735559955562,-0.021095238095238056,146,4,29,2,6,43,31,35,0.264,0.66,0.075,-0.8402,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,5,7,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,9,1,3,4,1,4,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,2,17,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37015545681143996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30516221393205445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3722948623171343,0.2623325376012197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33523155783850395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866057014917643,0.2767754566057224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34720897561422953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22664971281811355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3186410899154605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552964714978912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,smallestown,2020/01/05,"Urgent - getting the parents involved? My boyfriend (29) has been smoking heroin for a while now. After an argument last night he drove off and when I called him he was so high he could barely speak and kept nodding off on the phone. He spent the night in his car and showed up at my place this morning, a tearful wreck, so I put him to bed. I knew this already but I realize now that this is entirely beyond my control. He doesn’t have a particularly good relationship with his parents but they do love him. They don’t know anything about any of this. If they did, they might not react well - they’ve been known to call him a disappointment etc - but I guess they’d at least have the means and power to help him. I know what the answer to this is... but should I get them involved? I don’t feel like it’s my call to make and I’m worried he’ll be furious at me. Wondering if any of you have any insight - thank you so much",1.7553605200945626,3.7911222074468083,2.9195035460992886,92.73388888888887,79.58510638297872,5.879905437352246,22.678486997635932,6.937597516519254,0.5332791962174936,717,23,158,8,18,230,116,188,0.10300000000000001,0.7859999999999999,0.111,0.5542,4,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,6,2,9,7,1,0,10,0,19,1,0,3,0,31,36,16,0,4,7,2,1,1,0,3,0,1,1,0,8,6,0,2,10,1,1,3,4,2,1,0,8,2,28,5,20,22,3,22,0,1,0,1,33,11,0,5,9,107,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632083926965267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3017257890137309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217069093782719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4530591610117377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16587944308728125,0.118083991695449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16494462930567702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07478133906214404,0.10565788944550804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15454051211473516,0.0,0.0,0.12404927208295692,0.0,0.0,0.16292559440920712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991324696458526,0.15626166013058848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16256102073380166,0.12055607192118935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07225516987635393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13348312389810024,0.0,0.09872262307687754,0.0,0.0,0.1611035611531683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15689570601151054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10872156239001496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775832700196164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3284449878158657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545212422456927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14867767649834093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587863944235185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13616400029316056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329774706659676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16038835665276374,0.0,0.1501969281595065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,DysthymicPrincess,2020/01/05,"I. Fucking. Hate. This. I want to smoke, all the God damned time. Anything that could potentially get me high I want to gobble up, stab in my veins, snort to oblivion, smoke, drain, anything. Just anything.

The only thing I've taken is Tylenol for the headache I gave myself hitting my head out of frustration.

Water. Water. Water. Sugar. Water. Sugar. Water.",1.0888020833333345,2.7134073593750045,1.930250000000001,88.82308333333334,116.03125,2.956666666666667,19.891666666666666,5.2151,0.17041791666666706,277,10,45,2,15,86,47,64,0.188,0.7390000000000001,0.073,-0.8825,0,0,3,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,3,0,2,11,2,0,1,6,10,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,8,0,8,6,1,5,0,0,0,1,1,4,2,0,1,26,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6656372760109398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2152742929008258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492647435940622,0.14086837255567344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661996953430173,0.27671389801635937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.284874502539518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20506260047326855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791274268304108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572209950773707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3180646113813429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Vietmodern,2020/01/05,"When it's time to stop I don't have real problems with my addictions (alcohol, Porn, weed ) , I rarely drink or smoke weed or but when I do I always do way to much. It's like drinking so much that I puke, then I tell myself to stop drinking, after 2 weeks I drink 1 or 2 beer and then I need one last time. And then I will exaggerate it again. And it starts again. I always feel like that I need a special day or special time to quit ( something like the new year)  and I know there is no special time. But still I can't quit without this special last time. And then I feel like shit and give up trying it again. Do you have any Tipps for me?",1.7216711229946495,2.990864455882356,2.9406417112299468,96.00061497326205,77.23529411764707,5.827807486631016,21.18716577540107,6.1124844417494595,-0.07375588235294163,490,12,118,3,11,158,73,136,0.129,0.674,0.196,0.87,0,0,8,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,2,8,10,1,0,2,0,9,9,1,0,0,23,16,19,0,3,7,0,2,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,8,7,6,2,3,5,0,0,4,2,0,1,0,2,18,8,9,15,2,27,0,0,0,1,3,1,1,4,29,74,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13788455062566946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13517128368668094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104870775996859,0.0,0.0,0.08601240988956811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08157072289759186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4956186326680288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279066640315162,0.18071818901711725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12133350058641525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06951145206941205,0.2062001721494818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471717638068718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859583223301868,0.18757028248323,0.0,0.12215754777616288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570778810963021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102663213907867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690593299281804,0.0,0.143964729715216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12983242731832406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09737237687949407,0.0,0.0,0.08952493600355102,0.0,0.10100905573008397,0.2114899996996769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11055124475028624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3687646970884365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587328763476583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003958892653929,0.1014565998967224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12192457764944145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08145055718034266
addiction,Outrovert95,2020/01/05,"My (20F) little sister is literally going to die from her alcoholism. My parents don’t believe in mental illness/addiction. What can I do? Context: 

She is a type I diabetic, super outgoing, but has always had *very* erratic mood-swings. 

Two years ago she left for college, where she was exposed to alcohol for the first time. In less than 6 months she accrued (3) trips to the E. R. after getting blackout drunk and becoming comatose. She was quickly forced to move home (by several parties involved) and has since graduated her program. 

Now, things have almost worsened. She drinks alone...A LOT. She has been found my my family member blacked out in our basement, and she told me that she’s “terrified” to turn 21, because she thinks she’ll accidentally kill herself. Her mood swings are out of control, and she’s either dieting/exercising/killing her career OR she’s blacked out on a neighbors lawn with near-fatal blood sugar levels. 

MY PARENTS WON’T HELP HER. They literally believe she is “acting out” and can “knock this bullshit off” at any moment. My mom also said counseling is too expensive, and “even counselors see counselors” (you know, an apparent testimony to their effectiveness).

I feel like she is going to die, and I know that I’ll hate my parents (and myself) forever if she does. I have to help her. What do I do???",3.9649691358024697,6.659562168724285,4.917597736625517,77.83960648148151,75.46090534979426,7.671399176954732,30.7011316872428,8.59863814320734,2.8700810699588475,1049,50,176,22,24,341,159,243,0.174,0.7559999999999999,0.07,-0.9863,4,1,3,0,0,0,52.0,1,1,2,4,6,5,2,0,5,0,23,7,1,2,0,26,36,12,3,1,4,5,1,1,1,2,3,1,3,0,6,13,5,1,6,2,1,5,2,2,0,2,7,6,42,2,26,27,3,28,0,0,3,0,38,14,0,4,10,123,48,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13808479308744778,0.0,0.0,0.11228189365356504,0.2707351716279262,0.12683784587231614,0.0,0.0,0.10129486922854153,0.10539637844141206,0.0,0.0,0.08613732117674003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772145054314953,0.1398928038903442,0.0,0.2854187361790354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14206685062486665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26291891798634026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11084639580301904,0.0,0.0,0.12408459836817246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08366179319364858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940956713474965,0.0,0.06404620806737993,0.09049031825658806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10774215699069484,0.0,0.13888288848533467,0.0,0.0,0.06617783204921393,0.0,0.14397457679641995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250565929765376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698032920190255,0.0,0.12705646970022758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14013732068042695,0.0,0.13922479977138055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376231355801764,0.0,0.0,0.06188267958132184,0.12695275222050256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10768702561654883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12764968049696446,0.0,0.0,0.14834985642610646,0.10110370731094412,0.13462606473298014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.421943287432888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048850876490215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009365168833027,0.0,0.0,0.1430966881198557,0.0,0.10477954287101636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415135742060048,0.08116255022798237,0.0,0.0,0.07386004692237418,0.0,0.0,0.12103492831417025,0.0,0.0,0.1377763910766037,0.12373441693151473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451283397510304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156884352938612
addiction,spudlick,2020/01/05,"Here we go again. Threw out my last bag of coke again. This is my 3rd or 4th time taking this seriously now. I want to believe it’s the last time I’m going to start this shit but it’s getting harder to believe that.

I’m going to work harder this time because I deserve it. I have worth enough not to piss it away and the people around me deserve not to watch my throw my life away.",1.5439721254355412,3.0416915853658537,2.937108013937284,94.86939024390249,78.26829268292683,5.173519163763067,20.25087108013937,5.288315135182226,-0.3247860627177701,298,7,69,1,7,97,51,82,0.05,0.87,0.079,0.3236,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,1,0,0,1,5,3,2,0,2,0,2,4,2,0,0,9,12,3,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,9,4,1,0,0,0,1,5,2,3,0,0,1,1,9,0,11,11,1,18,0,0,1,0,1,4,2,1,9,43,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18280151350347734,0.0,0.0,0.3858587325694925,0.0,0.0,0.12517704141066305,0.0,0.0,0.4627093414431047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21217735411514546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10728483173724228,0.0,0.3501086640589353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3347688632315451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14504198245452238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423610902274049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21078476148137767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14534498562425627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15439466815173988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3592167857786084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111841605940528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14949436442725586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,peachrabbit85,2020/01/05,"Please help. I think my boyfriend relapsed. I have never dated an addict before. I met my boyfriend two months ago and fell in love instantly and he felt the same. He was one year clean (opioids.) He spent 4 months in rehab and said it really helped. All of his friends that I met said he looked so good and seemed so happy, were so proud of him etc. He told me meeting me was the best thing that ever happened to him and he was the happiest he’s ever been. Then he started being distant and short with me. He said this was a rough time of year and he was going through some shit. But wouldn’t give me definitive reasons or explanations. He said he didn’t relapse, but also had told me that when he used in the past he isolated himself, mostly out of guilt. He barely answers me or talks to me now. If I ask him a hard question or tell him how much he is hurting me he won’t respond. My heart is breaking thinking of him using again. We were so so happy, I don’t understand and I feel bad for myself too and lost and depressed. I love him so much I don’t know what to do. Should I just leave him alone and walk away?",2.0431818181818144,3.731512311688317,3.166448051948056,92.93252922077923,77.3982683982684,5.832121212121212,22.805411255411247,6.508806274219699,0.384428398268398,868,26,192,7,20,279,135,231,0.114,0.748,0.138,0.7227,0,1,1,0,0,0,24.0,1,0,0,3,15,14,1,1,7,0,20,6,2,4,4,43,47,27,0,3,7,0,4,0,1,3,2,4,1,0,7,14,0,0,10,0,1,3,6,6,0,2,21,9,32,8,16,22,8,26,0,3,1,2,47,6,1,8,16,126,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12536375254105953,0.0,0.0,0.10193794129026824,0.0,0.0,0.11910225665099272,0.0,0.09196309481815204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10750671300588366,0.0,0.10804350863656599,0.0,0.09601772860118801,0.0,0.0,0.09785401480798248,0.0,0.12068230328984912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904678579048336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825210254433705,0.0,0.20804282063638585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058145960897138714,0.0,0.11041519651923598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.088846431201095,0.0,0.0,0.1103156435832349,0.06535547041113997,0.09645406480164907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10169150653374588,0.2448329841405098,0.1030147640147333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13627205124207092,0.1541601895861872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231067144004378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631993681413732,0.0,0.0,0.121765265702587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965685545069762,0.0,0.1255328583345066,0.0,0.20757864461766248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18357908732623607,0.0,0.1690721186512112,0.0,0.08869280994441861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07792497339739639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977769101737116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12623222173027893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12882300798020396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367005127721657,0.1182361143208767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4375540929341493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10468899018787732,0.0,0.0,0.11804281347173187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08139549987635804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09243026823664903,0.10051248546043336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07639892642623937,0.14737092528267706,0.0,0.0,0.0670557013413033,0.0,0.0,0.2197692079299906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123354026043347,0.11971597875530733,0.0,0.19864104774668534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14810865246837832
addiction,narcissash,2020/01/05,"24hrs off weed, tobacco and booze... I am vomiting, shaking, no temp control, emotional and want to die. But I won't give up.",0.017500000000001847,2.2973990833333358,2.4833333333333343,87.94500000000002,99.83333333333334,7.4,26.83333333333333,8.07648339933343,2.660283333333333,94,5,19,3,4,32,22,24,0.292,0.599,0.109,-0.7096,0,0,1,0,0,1,9.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,5,4,3,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,11,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5083156499251156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4703623684413614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5098023534335665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4347621231015369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673161034155656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,throwawaycokehusband,2020/01/05,"[UPDATE] My husband is a cocaine addict 1st: https://www.reddit.com/r/addiction/comments/eb9kx1/my_husband_is_a_cocaine_addict/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Alright, I’ve decided to divorce him. When he came back the last time he went to AA for a week before deciding he was OK. Lies. LIES. Lies. It’s been 19 days since that first post. Things have honestly been worse. Bills are stressful, we’ve been off work for the holidays. He got shitfaced Christmas Eve and almost ruined that. Christmas Day he was hungover and cranky. Since then he’s drinking heavier than he has a while. A miserable cunt. I’m divorcing him. I REALLY need to wait until we get our taxes back and pay off this debt, CC and some loan companies. Split what’s left and divorce him. I’ll be speaking with a lawyer Monday. I’m done. He left today and turned his location off. He told me he loved me and he would be back. He said he was just going to Visit his family. Lies. I haven’t heard from him since 3 pm. Now I’m just going to wait this shit out. I’m done. Through. I can’t help him.

Thank you for all your words of wisdom and encouragement . It means so much to me. ❤️",3.053946540880503,6.166559646226414,2.9178867924528302,86.72931446540882,86.97169811320755,5.090817610062894,18.3874213836478,6.742157984588678,0.1862636477987425,943,24,174,12,30,283,133,212,0.155,0.733,0.11199999999999999,-0.8707,1,0,3,0,2,0,53.0,2,2,0,2,8,12,2,2,7,2,17,4,1,0,1,25,37,13,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,8,12,1,2,3,2,5,5,2,5,1,1,14,3,18,7,19,20,3,30,0,2,0,1,36,6,2,2,18,91,26,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15009325157063352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13786822055875855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2983558823437588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31760592373195434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171568891650767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574710558692742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17758646602699835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2817921295053022,0.0,0.13487553859113627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297939461628207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11711188692389812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719329462142252,0.0,0.15649523667095908,0.0,0.11011654197104967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092285065055618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11222886890483293,0.0,0.0,0.29918289260850583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12426300703261725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14997561015906635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10121180773519373,0.10208915164237801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13186090091543856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08820234968597633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13096671728340276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14132816974121093,0.3416748927081898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15771379186420198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12675870650835974,0.0,0.0,0.09146952808439722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0802832401444677,0.0,0.13050604507334446,0.1315606558702497,0.0,0.0,0.14975802956998066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11043986365913383,0.0,0.0,0.12763220982034568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023383456491584,0.0,0.1403092988489278,0.0978050485895639,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,tryng2figurethsalout,2020/01/05,"Is there such a thing as a person having zero addiction? It almost appears to me that everyone has some sort of addiction.

Yeah they may not be addicted to hard drugs or alcohol, but they may be addicted to food.

Yeah they may not be addicted to food, but they're addicted to exercise, or social media, or staying busy/productivity, drama, love, or caffeine.

Has anyone met such a person?",5.787499999999998,7.1338905277777815,7.3982222222222225,67.66900000000001,67.33333333333333,11.315555555555555,32.455555555555556,11.20814326018867,4.291152222222223,306,13,50,10,5,106,45,72,0.016,0.8490000000000001,0.134,0.8681,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,0,3,2,10,12,0,0,0,15,13,7,0,0,8,0,1,0,0,3,9,0,0,2,3,0,3,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,1,4,1,7,6,1,2,0,0,0,1,8,0,0,11,0,40,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.838804026051435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370496990035526,0.12841396627217436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966848085487969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14871783763036028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253894013571585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3101369492481932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11487796784267948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574172444740202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239486706949808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13072466320605186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366869160343139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519704429894658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Uses_leer890,2020/01/05,"1 day clean with a rant/cry for help Last night, I went out with a silent bang. I gathered up all of my goodies, took a few and threw the rest away. Today marks day one of going clean. I haven't smoked, had a joint, some ket, acid, or a drink all day. I hate it but I know it's for the better. All I did today was sleep. It's the only way I feel like I can deal with the world. How much longer until I can get out of bed? I wish I never started any of this stuff. Now I don't know how to be without cigarettes or drugs. I just sleep.",-1.0753653846153846,0.6424094250000003,1.0883333333333347,103.70076923076924,88.08333333333334,4.0256410256410255,13.397435897435901,4.713530739802397,-1.572948717948718,401,5,108,1,13,133,79,120,0.022000000000000002,0.828,0.151,0.9161,0,0,4,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,1,0,9,0,8,4,2,2,4,22,19,7,0,1,5,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,5,6,1,0,3,1,0,4,4,1,0,1,6,2,14,2,16,12,7,21,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,3,12,69,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187718177558372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16409471391655595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15446871170267384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918510086154016,0.3379152978033129,0.18006228566820048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17109602553637945,0.20254508157863527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831113446078924,0.1247740171369692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125035815193328,0.0,0.09926081960252428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724362757891999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11706798736312972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19197233347447776,0.14236764961709805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532791873565193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12839198435632318,0.0,0.1347051892144792,0.0,0.0,0.16390247747768186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11835117516975345,0.13283347707702994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3495635288826221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12362215402717558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19993891062442734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33110623102992004,0.0,0.19404883160396014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386335097292823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619075190267415,0.0,0.0,0.20084535525083969,0.1683617949448154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,LeQuackz1234,2020/01/06,"Completely reliant on drugs and weed 8 months ago I started smoking weed as a crutch for my depression and social anxiety. Ever since, I have not been able to go more than a day without smoking.  

The problem is, I believe it’s making my mental state even worse. For the past 4 months I’ve suspected that my marijuana usage has been intensifying my anxiety and depression, as well as making me lethargic, lazy, and generally unwell. My grades have dropped, I’m completely broke, I’ve been constantly asking my closest friends for loans, and I cannot find the drive to get out my bed and do something with my life. The worst part is I’m almost finished with high school  - a time where I’ve got to be at least a little clear headed. 

My usage also causes me lots of guilt, which only further worsens my mental state. It’s killing me, because no matter how guilty I feel, no matter how many times I tell myself to stop smoking, I cannot quit for the life of me. Even when I do make progress, such as learning to only smoke at night, it doesn’t seem to make a difference. 

At the moment, weed is literally the only fucking thing I care about. Nothing else. Its become my hobby and my crutch. It’s the only thing I can talk about, the only thing that will allow me to actually feel happy. 


So what the hell do I do? How do I go about quitting, or atleast decreasing my usage? I feel completely trapped. 

Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated, as I have no idea what to do anymore, and I can barely even trust myself. Thank you.",5.394353585305545,6.009742077181207,6.088587071706113,79.34572765807137,67.8255033557047,8.555563405157189,30.449311197456733,8.532816995589336,2.2644134228187918,1201,44,228,17,19,393,161,298,0.17800000000000002,0.7070000000000001,0.11599999999999999,-0.9686,0,1,3,0,0,0,38.0,0,1,0,3,16,16,3,1,15,0,25,5,1,9,2,42,44,21,1,2,4,0,3,0,1,2,3,0,1,0,13,11,0,1,8,0,1,3,8,9,1,0,4,3,36,7,31,36,5,31,1,3,0,1,7,10,2,5,15,152,49,3,0.09532421982966592,0.0,0.09302268786973032,0.0,0.0,0.09314972437648844,0.08449916934469225,0.0,0.09545343660438453,0.0,0.0,0.07623074415809178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06482373829095464,0.0,0.14584553451166216,0.0,0.09453601168906467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08911527771694011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058108759640743926,0.10527811155827166,0.0,0.10739775282448044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971893951425653,0.09792423202990584,0.0,0.0,0.29983689261668245,0.10301161708636278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06147623581418558,0.0,0.1642052217186873,0.0,0.0,0.0995935209960341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11054583156557136,0.0,0.07963115393095875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188882244520097,0.0862262142505112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14459636915463886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712460998046485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07364725577844873,0.08812570519851172,0.04980297049891783,0.0,0.10834990175341433,0.0,0.07623948663098845,0.10509528888626504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147440455534458,0.0,0.0,0.0978301505833239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06389381520350898,0.1007152719128798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10760944128377672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546212578336636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13466063107557824,0.0,0.0955399108404189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08104124287282231,0.0,0.0,0.2545186277639995,0.0966437971793631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921287861850446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15217376564386814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08945532287039673,0.0,0.09146615983499023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3624918232715912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10322684079811856,0.09099775398771677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09121240455990054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20277808295799585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964731995848344,0.0,0.08677958960561027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07885317969640722,0.0,0.0,0.09717103765427608,0.0,0.07338524154489565,0.0,0.0,0.0674709734265044,0.0,0.0,0.07969531611361512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07661799708181434,0.08331756971619264,0.08776173440631846,0.0,0.0,0.18998752790566084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11116863831949544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570792160544982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09188914626308067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971435237823626,0.06771559078151601,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Broad-Leg,2020/01/06,"Addicted to 3 substances and gone cold turkey Cannabis -6 days
Nicotine - 14 hours
Alcohol - 12 hours.

I'm feeling extremely unstable. Any advice on how to ease the uncomfiness of withdrawal from any of these wpuld be much appreciated. Tia",5.866463414634148,8.990955097560978,6.251402439024389,68.49954268292684,71.1951219512195,10.929268292682927,37.079268292682926,10.686352973137794,5.30928780487805,193,11,29,7,4,62,37,41,0.059000000000000004,0.695,0.24600000000000002,0.785,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,3,4,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,6,2,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,12,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34089585415775914,0.0,0.3055728248253415,0.0,0.33418776796153593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4253018021877351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20166959336823415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15811362219204222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6159051240356188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.229874996295239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,vwalsh10,2020/01/06,"Friend is Addicted to Opioids - I need advice Hi r/addiction \- My friend just went through the Vivitrol 3-day detox and told me he is medically free of opioids and they no longer will affect him. I hadn't heard about this before so I did some research and learned a little about what it did. 

Details aside, it seems like Vivitrol won't stop his cravings to get high and since the detox, he has turned to coke (from what I have pieced together). Some friends and I think he needs to go to rehab and we're trying to come up with a plan to get him there but in the meantime, we are wondering if addicts who go through the Vivitrol detox will still attempt to do Opioids in higher quantity thinking they can beat the system. We are also wondering how drinking and other drugs will affect him during this. We want to know how quickly we need to move. 

From what I know, he has never done heroin but would always try and find blues which I believe are Oxycodone.",4.0094774774774775,5.859941983783788,4.272972972972976,86.39450450450451,72.4054054054054,7.095495495495496,27.46846846846847,7.793537801064563,1.633133333333333,757,28,145,10,15,236,116,185,0.009000000000000001,0.9009999999999999,0.091,0.8976,0,0,5,0,0,0,18.0,4,0,2,3,10,5,0,0,7,0,19,10,0,4,1,40,39,15,0,6,4,0,0,1,3,5,8,1,0,0,10,14,2,1,9,1,1,5,4,0,0,0,7,2,19,6,21,27,3,15,0,0,1,0,21,5,0,6,5,100,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4443095170082227,0.0,0.1327569818886238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10864405224269776,0.11304313567694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560351158231932,0.15306327122313204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702797709929258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08761592778931064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13902793057765508,0.0,0.13308723028419078,0.1575499128660617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12416998919375673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3148861942524712,0.0,0.14195838145052697,0.0,0.15442027382254775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14353939980761596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14932588920879927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637241475856395,0.1361634755012076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368607004463317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14439350503606252,0.0,0.3022066694095054,0.10478057851584063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12367826617511796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11238154722289873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849483513863477,0.1135817599968534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17410217149744686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298162994345496,0.0,0.18447471105249866,0.14777239502787412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801314315790465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259399404626867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946602311895053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09650825613423117,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,thrownaway34678,2020/01/06,"Oxycontin withdrawal day 3 I'm currently on day 3 of being without oxycontin (years of usage) 80mg daily, I'm having horrible hot flashes and skin blushing; I just wanted to see if you guys had this happen before and when did they go away. I want to continue but it hurts so much.",2.841785714285713,4.866883892857146,5.2137142857142855,77.63128571428574,76.14285714285714,8.765714285714285,27.271428571428572,9.3871,2.8196042857142856,222,9,40,6,5,78,46,56,0.11900000000000001,0.84,0.040999999999999995,-0.7351,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,8,11,6,0,3,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,3,4,0,7,8,1,9,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,1,6,25,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911581654429512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636992799683769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3997154888387688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761214450243107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3068464702947856,0.2740406421184545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3317508434413246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22780974310834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469475598368288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3655702239664765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29872937510797565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995633244565245
addiction,peepeecom,2020/01/06,"My phone addiction Every night I would go on my phone it relieves me from stress and worry but everytime I stay up too late making me miss school,fail tests and I tried going without it for a week but I ended up back on it from worrying any advice please help.",1.3823270440251605,3.8143936792452853,2.771981132075471,90.92199685534591,83.90566037735849,5.79748427672956,18.26729559748428,7.1686216300943375,0.3294805031446546,207,5,42,3,6,67,40,53,0.155,0.701,0.14400000000000002,0.1027,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,7,5,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,8,1,8,4,0,12,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,5,27,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24152650708626894,0.0,0.21649995487007076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15066428278174607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703613111319381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19623103818713056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18666875764176727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518284299476862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485029419102379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499225047708562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14788898140423976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20791337273368116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24319970468551524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22422442466786133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361470310263217,0.0,0.0,0.25378930011630463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504205882408574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777172140222545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21357010074017635,0.0,0.0,0.4499975795468448,0.0,0.15738556873173934,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,daftgirlcici,2020/01/06,"Bf convinced me to drink again Was alcohol free for 3 years. A few weeks ago I had some wine at a Christmas Ball because it was free. I got a little tipsy but not wasted. I haven't had any since but my god do I crave it more now. I feel so shitty because I drank some wine. My bf convinced me that I should so it ""doesn't have control over me"" and I believed him. I guess I'm proud of myself for not going overboard and that I haven't had any since the Ball a few weeks ago but I still feel horrible about it.",0.33383292383292584,2.1379456756756743,2.058968058968059,98.27380835380836,83.23423423423424,4.7570843570843575,19.0999180999181,5.565023196281405,-0.4693315315315312,394,10,95,2,11,129,64,111,0.099,0.725,0.17600000000000002,0.6973,0,0,4,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,6,5,0,0,5,0,11,5,0,1,0,14,18,7,0,1,5,0,2,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,6,2,5,1,2,5,2,1,5,0,0,0,7,2,18,7,7,10,5,12,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,3,8,64,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3808020945878094,0.22954840954276814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921332305588881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26187165574172355,0.0,0.0,0.2419981731581063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24090862974025445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21041538144376884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21721160365993314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207181992456842,0.0,0.17178959523821238,0.0,0.2366187212124059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21527902846212635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.355358002051022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17153397866667053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3445879998874997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13831965893331408
addiction,plantspantsplant,2020/01/06,"Found out my best friend is using meth I'm seeking advice.

Recently found out my best childhood friend is injecting meth. Scared shitless for her. We don't live in the same town anymore and found out through another friend of their family (he is a recovering heroin addict himself). 

She has two kids, the youngest is four and is in her care. Everytime I go home I try to see her. The last few times I saw her she has incredibly skinny and was hanging out with other known users. Since I found out I havent been able to see her. I dont know how or even if I should confront her via text


I'm extremely concerned and looking for advice.",2.5478571428571435,4.760767357142857,3.4891269841269827,88.74892857142858,77.80952380952381,6.73968253968254,24.785714285714285,7.793537801064563,1.3148857142857149,501,18,102,8,12,160,82,126,0.059000000000000004,0.782,0.159,0.9371,0,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,1,2,2,8,1,1,4,0,13,2,1,2,0,23,27,7,0,2,2,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,1,1,1,11,1,0,6,0,0,2,3,2,0,2,7,4,20,6,14,19,4,14,0,0,4,0,16,8,0,2,4,66,21,0,0.13824372816758165,0.0,0.0,0.15070606924334182,0.0,0.2701803423851542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14496060267641767,0.0,0.0,0.13710063114435436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2901565275032611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409486943283548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16202061982684265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09130867864703543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13032388353966332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6063084497807397,0.32042028436163617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856709654560247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13866973105670438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07597513761507528,0.11268708960118835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220717447144846,0.0,0.11608991408813475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364990037178533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13840608870911827,0.0,0.22032470574747945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143566405114925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061102962112954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09385841686914223,0.0,0.1350440348203736,0.0,0.0,0.11939819481104424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Smashyland,2020/01/06,"Ritalin changed my girlfriend My adhd 22 year old beautiful  girl has just been sectioned and I'm typing while she is examined. 

She has been a smile, content confident lady, she swims and draws and is liked by everyone, she had an amazing figure and had a nice upbringing.

She was given medicine (concerta because she wasnt able to stay on track as she was at work, shes always been this way, when we talk she changed subject abit and after visiting a consultant she was told she had add .

Day one on the tablets she became quite chatty and empathetic, very motivated. Not wired but abit more happy. This stopped as the meds co tinued and she was back to herself. However after a few months I noticed when she wasnt taking it she didn't talk full stop. She didn't want to do much and speak to people. She didn't seem to crave the pills she could take time off it and not have difficulty but she just seemed depressed. 

Her consultant stopped the medication because she wanted to see how she did but had not said she wont be starting them again, I had not been informed about it but apparently when the doctor told her she broke down, saying she would gain weight and that without it she isnt herself. And the doc said this was not a safe sign. About 5 days after she was stopped on the pills (she was gradually removed off them) she stopped speaking with nme and didn't attend her job. I was very concerned when I visited her place she said she just didn't feel good and she needed a break. She said she needed to be on her own because her head was spinning. I was going to the uk the same day, when I returned a few days after me and her mum went to see her because she had not been speaking much to anyone. 

I cant bring myself to say it without getting upset myself but no words sum what I seen. We opened the door and she was just laying there in her clothes she had when we last chatted. She had not showered or got up, she had not even been able to use the toilet she was so miserable she had actually just been going in her pants.

Its seems like she was relying on the pills to live but like this is just horrendous, I almost attacked the consultant for stopping the pills but I guess that this would have happened one day when her tolerance raised.

Not really 100% on why I typed that but I guess I just didn't know who to talk to, I do not see her parents alot and I dont really know if I can talk to her mates because she didn't seem to want anybody involved.",3.813734643734645,5.150670929292931,4.359688779688781,87.63412776412778,72.03030303030303,7.452361452361453,26.711711711711718,7.917944638633933,1.43210728910729,1950,66,405,26,37,618,223,495,0.099,0.8170000000000001,0.084,-0.8915,5,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,3,0,2,4,22,13,1,2,23,0,60,9,1,3,0,86,97,38,0,9,29,2,2,3,2,3,7,9,2,1,16,22,1,7,11,2,0,9,26,5,0,2,50,15,83,8,43,41,10,61,0,3,4,0,91,17,0,10,35,293,99,9,0.15337066876540045,0.0,0.07483382436504146,0.0,0.09216086970904716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678928521067299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06380834134046168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053620168823218906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724063851463941,0.0,0.05896628863709742,0.0,0.23373334036076845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16224583132884754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061226999562135835,0.0,0.0,0.2472784832870672,0.0,0.0660489661356985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07849068917653854,0.0,0.0,0.0898746407739557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0506499401231601,0.0,0.0,0.0732761232804786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03877440920038179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04006492214450525,0.0,0.08716408548782577,0.06432002016916229,0.061332267244460316,0.0,0.1689550828071762,0.0,0.06781258793741582,0.08163296440838305,0.0,0.0,0.07870127679615546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07609836163362052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428850856396335,0.06250878257713872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123937425605864,0.0,0.06771455520037882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08518011902803166,0.07725240668421805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061209502283505815,0.0,0.11274508859789367,0.11372240753685695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08730676146167828,0.08046835857291894,0.0,0.10392793441954097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08514998873451342,0.0,0.0,0.053163955276894166,0.0,0.08011985278849901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156429250039078,0.0,0.0,0.09825317769153834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917812550512939,0.12196651165014034,0.0,0.0,0.18332484905789986,0.2792457932890923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05427827437332519,0.08173636314355169,0.0,0.38467423971545295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11531565569634715,0.2465470679519025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04471583516567579,0.0,0.0,0.1465522465609572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06623150731783307,0.0,0.12654686400727586,0.13569299120226036,0.060869249024482076,0.0,0.09338207812876403,0.0,0.07108807325025243,0.06919658663963618,0.0,0.0,0.14784385164476802,0.0,0.055827836748530264,0.0,0.0,0.10895012267148074,0.0,0.0,0.04938284111501058
addiction,RJSD3V,2020/01/06,"Im Severly Addicted to Binge Watching Shows!! HELP! I know this might not sound as serious any other addiction, But its affecting my work life and my relationship with the people around me. My Addiction to always having my phone in my hand watching Netflix/Hulu/AmazonPrime is driving me crazy and at the same time the people around me. I seem unavailable for everything. I miss out oppurtunities and never get my work done as I intend to . Please help me",3.8937617135207496,6.848112807228923,5.0669076305220875,75.16119143239627,77.55421686746988,8.990093708165999,27.29451137884873,9.444778638647367,3.2115338688085675,365,15,60,11,9,120,58,83,0.046,0.7959999999999999,0.158,0.8668,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,3,0,4,5,1,2,1,16,8,6,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,3,7,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,4,14,0,12,6,1,8,0,1,2,0,4,5,0,2,2,43,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5829061018796023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14830547408794895,0.0,0.0,0.1212056471265144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31733318271407146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18239588836875872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16018577536437348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09312022767107747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23893380490843585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925239646500761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09795308074258027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12589237648345988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189078755654172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13746551950231564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24713087430563385,0.0,0.0,0.19564807957892735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19135726933284455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622580954574324,0.0,0.20135437750195104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10393003475987464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595138385471624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,its_ariana,2020/01/06,"Idk how to stop I've quit weed for the last 48 hours. I haven't smoked any tobacco or drank anything in this time as well. I usually drink on the daily and sometimes smoke tobacco with weed. Yesterday i threw up all day and still can't keep down any water today. I have been smoking weed for 6 years. I usually smoke 2 grams a day, probably 20ish bowls. I'm curious as to how long my symptoms are gonna last. Throwing up is extremely painful and i only do it when i drink or eat something. I also have been so moody(sad,mad,anxious).Does anyone have any advice for me? is it better for me to ween myself of it? If i did ween myself down would the withdrawal symptoms be easier to deal with? I am having a lot of trouble with quitting please give some strategies. Thank you",2.272795698924732,4.475969612903229,3.5135483870967765,88.27698924731182,78.67741935483872,6.972043010752689,24.526881720430108,8.021203637495839,1.471959139784946,610,22,123,11,15,198,103,155,0.064,0.825,0.111,0.7225,0,0,8,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,3,7,5,0,0,5,0,16,8,0,2,1,17,23,13,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,4,6,5,2,0,2,0,2,2,2,1,0,5,0,16,3,21,15,3,23,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,5,15,78,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14114069256179376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11550501192561435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946632653420649,0.0,0.0,0.1631709956652247,0.0,0.10099265530989923,0.0,0.11885810440439465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12774145652706115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862978888447764,0.14890665160153302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829835928207593,0.0,0.1477935681556685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13855568641811633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14223986672969288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12838090298480634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354684094139124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278208665797438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12279389146561714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098497012782432,0.1536895484859466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15854679863899834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155725890941833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3072498523921379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119349933444812,0.14285039622404233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11534637164086325,0.12075453991408534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3002475621060868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329767968444841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842214977477996,0.0,0.13690795938778924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3181505806757868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12986485461333733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10260283048724232,0.0,0.0,0.09301172227552093
addiction,thriller24,2020/01/06,"I’m dating a recovering opioid/heroin addict. Looking for advice. I started dating a guy 2 months ago that was prescribed OxyContin by a shady doctor when he broke his ankle.  He quickly became addicted then switched to heroin.  This was years back.  He went to rehab and got clean.  He’s now on the methadone treatment.  He’s tried explaining it to me but I don’t really understand it.  I know it’s to help with withdrawal symptoms and block opioids in the system.  

He’s very honest with me and told me upfront he was a recovering addict.  I’ve never known anyone that was addicted to opioids.  So I don’t understand much of it.  Like signs to look for if they are relapsing, using, having cravings, etc.  I do understand addiction and that it takes priority over everything else in their life.  I trust him to an extent (only together 2 months).  But I’m also aware that I’ve only known him 2 months.  

I’m not here to be told to move on, leave him, etc.  I’m here to learn everything about the addiction and what signs to look out for.  I love him and care about him deeply.  I want to know how to better be there for him and understand his situation.

TLDR: Dating a recovery opioid/addict.  I want to understand it better, know what signs to look for, and how to be there for him.",2.483951612903226,4.8782657500000015,4.170735483870967,82.82910322580645,79.0,7.516387096774192,23.226451612903233,8.488131031819089,1.7471320645161297,998,33,188,22,25,334,123,248,0.036000000000000004,0.8009999999999999,0.162,0.9868,0,0,5,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,2,2,14,8,0,0,9,0,12,11,0,3,1,37,40,17,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,10,0,1,1,13,11,0,1,12,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,8,4,23,7,34,29,4,24,0,1,4,1,24,6,0,1,16,120,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6359431576307168,0.0,0.08143540645937293,0.07387272745169024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06664412242513924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058270777798346274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640805797179358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14740862107416786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496705653133546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529837948336719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961690365273179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18588432327441032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14979484070923332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06665176546261001,0.0,0.0,0.08251617955128697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05585866030378872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373985869853664,0.0,0.0,0.08824125906875263,0.0,0.0,0.05886299341795636,0.04071397599328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799264892817133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07521439242610928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19955505838495533,0.08857344906025534,0.06126187356107185,0.0,0.06427420147020467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126762238595618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053387458589703916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09367365228021196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05898596245963544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661847201805399,0.06265863291018509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159263082952176,0.0,0.05657997365682401,0.0,0.0,0.4337808748275872,0.0,0.07197592866391339,0.0,0.06876129221037057,0.0983079851315943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725371649117739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05366593624781271
addiction,VisionImpaired,2020/01/06,"Advice - helping a friend Hello alll,

I apologise if this isn't the best place to post. I have a very close friend who had a hard 2019 and started using hard drugs to cope. He is about to be evicted, missing work and using often. This has been going on for most of 2019.

This is my first time dealing with this in my life and I am trying to find the best courses of action to take. I don't want to enable him. At the same time I worry I'll push him away by pressing him about getting help to get clean.

I've tried to talk to him in a judgement free conversation a few times and he just tried to reassure me he has it under control and plans to quit, but his actions say otherwise. Sorry for my ignorance, but I worry about him and want to help him.",2.6419230769230744,3.8596185769230793,4.003076923076924,89.51692307692308,74.76923076923076,6.482051282051282,23.256410256410252,6.816661863887847,0.6078948717948722,582,16,126,5,12,192,95,156,0.132,0.7509999999999999,0.11599999999999999,-0.1561,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,8,6,8,0,0,8,0,11,2,0,3,0,22,21,9,0,3,4,0,3,0,2,0,2,1,1,0,6,8,0,2,1,0,1,4,2,2,0,1,2,4,17,7,27,18,5,18,0,1,0,0,22,8,0,3,5,86,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14302482370582192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13751342763151442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071991531796038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16415923182689285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508944529559338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16973531781131146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13377368603400513,0.12449681012263634,0.0,0.0,0.22616032080904144,0.0,0.15293788840092107,0.0,0.08318181132877663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26222608789887597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2943133235189956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033809447565075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15291881836523405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140175877744475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15567571327023835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11639421561909258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16384207609579732,0.1035969150116102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004721797634706,0.11764152388716688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25603739040062057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2981138466442531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528223276776974,0.0,0.12076530496693845,0.17265809619720426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065544497442951,0.29727869699261256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Talkaboutitwme,2020/01/06,"Pushing an addictive personality from one to another Good afternoon,

​

this is my first post here ever - I have been looking at reddit for years and lately been trying to get my life back together. To give you a short overview, I am in my early twenties, good highschool diploma, top university business degree completed and currently interning with a consulting firm. So far my life for me appears to be entirely on track for everyone looking - I have money saved up, a loving girlfriend and family, great prospects for the future.

When I was younger I had a series of bad events and friends introduce me to consumption of various drugs and eventually nearly lost control of my life to the extent of being kicked out by my parents, losing almost all my friends and nearly fucking up high school - but managed to turn it around in the last second. I kind of quit - by saying kind of I mean i turned it into very, very occasional (1-2x / year) but started filling the gaps in between with other kinds of rushes. Be it nicotine, alcohol and in the past years also gambling (in the beginning with smaller amounts, lately with large sums). I managed to actually win quite a bit of money, then lost a portion of it again and decided to quit.

As soon as I did that I turned to drinking more and smoking more - when I try to stop I pick up something else again (even if it's ""just"" obsessive Gym going or something similar). 

Due to having a few days off lately I have been thinking of how to fight this addictive personality of mine - how to kind of lose this circle of ALWAYS having to have some kind of external rush. I seem to be able to say ""NO"" to one thing just to replace it again straightaway. 

​

Are there any of you with similar problems, maybe some who have managed to overcome them? If so I would love to hear your advice.

​

this is my first post here ever - I have been looking at Reddit for years and lately been trying to get my life back together. To give you a short overview, I am in my early twenties, a good highschool diploma, top university business degree completed and currently interning with a consulting firm. So far my life for me appears to be entirely on track for everyone looking - I have money saved up, a loving girlfriend and family, great prospects for the future.e.ds of rushes. Be it nicotine, alcohol and in the past years also gambling (at the beginning with smaller amounts, lately with large sums). I managed to actually win quite a bit of money, then lost a portion of it again and decided to quit.",9.049130434782608,8.021512314225056,8.83134127203914,68.220265854334,60.67728237791932,11.673257638696574,40.860426474660756,10.756437189917307,4.537245472168375,2024,96,337,41,23,656,202,471,0.055999999999999994,0.826,0.11800000000000001,0.9854,3,0,6,0,1,0,73.0,0,4,1,17,26,29,2,1,23,0,29,15,0,4,3,54,57,32,0,4,7,1,0,0,4,1,10,3,0,2,16,25,3,2,5,2,6,8,1,10,0,5,11,7,40,19,88,39,14,80,0,5,4,4,24,29,1,9,41,254,56,9,0.05774497945081336,0.0,0.11270154026113108,0.12590110216096415,0.0,0.05642772560405759,0.0,0.123423643326559,0.05782325567498976,0.0,0.0,0.09235727840825801,0.048048448756933,0.18769998332807608,0.21049941160711524,0.03926856618627306,0.060550645831687074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051405274357807715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880464962562827,0.048214645832026136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12608512348346645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12108902461993705,0.0,0.06476590460935296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037240734622815366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05656809611852037,0.06696584334530678,0.0,0.048238520657231006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03814001432139051,0.10446727975144972,0.0,0.11035560494396347,0.0,0.0,0.1088736549093271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823570004365084,0.0,0.0,0.08922725576216704,0.053384303012074606,0.060338736853830975,0.11078849213752154,0.032817802555470885,0.14530124721404633,0.0,0.12732808740441465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06508278861834048,0.0,0.0,0.061010741209154735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006625503058724,0.0,0.04706986537215301,0.3256942600739129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20393493354017614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19396495717591725,0.12920372282351847,0.18910639919486472,0.0,0.1563512954066399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05801259331110799,0.06290121114273976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782589850553711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641189660225399,0.0,0.11024823373284127,0.0,0.100841377457523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11060745625447932,0.0,0.0,0.055254146704608716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30709446807978763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09184225074610346,0.0,0.058441002061542964,0.0,0.052568860542265665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08890981269136343,0.0,0.0,0.04087219366706383,0.0,0.0,0.04827738846989848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03836319847647987,0.037000651192004685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176151517013006,0.18842986726263825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09529131118079252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04102037661745879,0.0,0.21049941160711524,0.18592936761402284
addiction,mistyxautumn1,2020/01/06,"Please Help I hope this doesn't come off as weird but I dont know where else to turn. I'm addicted to Nasal Spray (phenylephrine) and have been using it for 4-5years now. I feel like its ruining my life and I'm at my wits end. I wake up 3-6 times a night because I can't breathe and need to use the spray again and again. A get sinus infections a couple times a year and I know that using this shit is probably the cause. It's just so hard to stop because when I don't use it, I can't breathe out my nose. I'm embarrassed that I feel panicked if I'm in public and have forgotten my nasal spray at home. Please, if anyone has any suggestions or anything, I'll try anything. 
I dont have any insurance so I havent been able to see a doctor about this.",1.7432184992921194,2.94200701226994,3.199386503067487,94.45692779613026,77.03680981595092,6.978574799433696,22.354412458706946,7.61054688173877,0.5955411986786219,585,16,142,8,13,192,94,163,0.16,0.765,0.075,-0.9345,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,9,6,1,1,7,0,14,12,7,5,0,25,32,14,0,4,5,0,3,1,0,0,5,0,1,0,9,8,0,1,4,0,0,1,7,4,0,0,2,7,15,2,14,30,0,18,0,1,1,0,3,7,1,4,11,77,24,1,0.1387839352209641,0.0,0.0,0.1512949746690846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887556701083595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704095439371987,0.0,0.22841470705841105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692027975295697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14256933126634055,0.0,0.11955007142341274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15356178460936082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14205123847752313,0.0,0.0,0.3253074769403094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159361695115122,0.0,0.12292137335139695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14034665527678586,0.09914727105219824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07250887805726741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12432314601500265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09302394633881284,0.0,0.13921160277703787,0.13784376238069015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15254404256795864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09802719777514016,0.06780282050161715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102906529441487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13023932172327002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3046861696781083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14963255530252967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11059282795444256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14245971512558087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602958417797715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16185205739637382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09422518199826664,0.15095706871017858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4794590410371133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893723040722492
addiction,I-Concentrate-E,2020/01/06,"I am so sick of my self medicating self aware self sustaining addiction to death ""Self awareness is just talk, you can't know who you are until you become it."" -Devil

Oh my god I just realized that I'm the devil, I'm a coke addict lying to my family, friends, ex-lovers, myself, and the rest of the world that I'm trying to get better. Yet in between the inhales of coke in one snort and the exhales of snot, I'm still looking for that missing piece.

I'm still searching the floor pathetically from the crumbs and desiring for more. I know how this came about, how I became a coke slinging mind numbing and thought bending construct. I started by destroying my sense of self, isolating through depression, and crippled with anxiety I tried to medicate my-self away and tried to keep walking forward until I would trip over it.

Because the dumbest thing in the world is to escape the inevitable, change. So I'm the fucking devil, I'm the one manifesting into these shitty futures by hiding in my room like a goblin. I'm the asshole who chose drugs over my girlfriend and then my boyfriend, and then my mother, and then my sisters, and then my friends.

I'm that dick and I refuse to take responsibility for my-self, I've been trying to get that thing away from me and when I stopped therapy I realized just how flawed and hopeless I am. I am so frighteningly self aware that I live with crippling anxiety that morphs into depression and became the face of my hopelessness in addiction. I've gotten better in some sense, I've only done a gram this week.

My all time high was 4g in 2 days and Perocet pills scattered throughout and filling the gaps with random psychedelics to reflect on my glory days. Well I have a message to deliver to you, you hurt yourself by never asking for help.

You die endlessly and pointlessly by wasting your time, everything you made is meaningless and if anything harmful to your well being. Why do you choose to live like this? Give me a fucking reason, or get out town tonight and get a job, go back to school and learn something this time, and if you don't do something then shut up.

""I saw all the signs but I didn't do anything, this was going to be a problem from the beginning. I wish I had better guides and tried to combine awareness with hope."" -God

I'm lying I'm not really god, because I did have good guides and awareness, I just didn't have hope. I want to get better and honestly for myself because I'm too much of a dumb shit to kill myself already so I might as well just try to live for myself for once. 

All this came to ahead when I tripped on acid last week and I had this weird moment where everyone in my life was looking straight at me but there eyes were darted away. Like they didn't want to look at me and I wanted to get angry that they weren't looking at me, no one was seeing my suffering. 

I was like a little kid threatening to die but slowly because she was too much a child to go through with it. When you see someone jump and almost hit the pavement, empathy makes you close your eyes at the last second. To spare you the trauma. 

God I can't believe I ever thought it was anyone else's fault, everyone I love tried to help me but I never wanted any of that. I am struggling constantly in a process of having faith in the cocaine and loneliness as a substitute for everything I've lost, 

""There's no going back now, the only way for me to continue is forward"" and ""I want to back and change everything I did wrong"" 

Neither of these are realistic conclusions on how to deal with life, I am hopefully going to start therapy again this month and try to find new habits to establish and learn to circumvent this cycle of depression-anxiety-hopelessness-drug abuse backflip justify everything rinse and repeat reflect what have I done! HEY FUCK YOU, I'M DONE.",5.340286758041035,6.2026041520861375,5.744669431702692,80.88358584887524,68.04441453566622,8.864767764440904,31.314005548383555,9.014128462123184,2.5698672727772127,3027,120,577,52,49,971,318,743,0.188,0.7240000000000001,0.08800000000000001,-0.9974,1,0,6,0,1,4,77.0,0,16,2,7,34,47,7,1,35,0,46,23,5,7,6,105,109,60,4,14,13,2,0,4,3,2,11,0,1,8,29,45,3,3,14,0,0,14,13,26,3,4,28,12,80,21,101,76,10,96,4,8,9,5,44,40,6,10,49,388,109,4,0.0,0.06226318871385289,0.0,0.1718618576613729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05262126100440888,0.0,0.05799026131283421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03573582024110312,0.0,0.0804012533322784,0.0,0.0,0.03674420058743949,0.0538437125313081,0.08648838900762754,0.0,0.049127181325686164,0.0,0.14811744005868993,0.12122318066854755,0.0,0.12813603434190413,0.058037375954514574,0.0,0.05920588491838946,0.0,0.1859049130873555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020646234431308,0.0,0.0,0.11118192093870334,0.0,0.0,0.0567879102316022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0677808398613121,0.05417677016671517,0.09052252216081,0.0,0.10907726247797828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161330767187573,0.0,0.0,0.12188269511700645,0.0,0.04389880431911829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04753450778627925,0.0,0.10042760517836866,0.18891430256967748,0.0,0.04953948843428434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048029772471060286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812000406991779,0.14574495898984122,0.16473132048331418,0.05041077411674515,0.1493269562309971,0.04407646926058252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07044635051383527,0.05552198851072293,0.0,0.15658210143194587,0.0,0.0,0.05625589055474869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05214779299669881,0.0467088783475916,0.058138818719821836,0.0,0.057760240854542975,0.085670571201053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07423527603532011,0.10269315476010228,0.0526689322408399,0.13920790927617585,0.0,0.17651514979772434,0.0,0.05736456190780818,0.0,0.04742845087689532,0.04972410596451296,0.03507755094654761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10587724691527577,0.0,0.05574727402276989,0.053060546739138376,0.0,0.041944930035143005,0.0,0.0772606323629428,0.0,0.08105964054887642,0.05075314334324185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055964063494502,0.10682777449489086,0.07993332675237501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05028327861132023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0336648927883261,0.054030179744853454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0531834326334859,0.08375113536915517,0.0,0.438569109497909,0.0,0.053941847345872686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04452546717623309,0.0809111559850987,0.0,0.0,0.07439035888487938,0.0,0.08393303856799941,0.0439341754391144,0.0,0.05493669784527793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03951108022196193,0.0422377209820856,0.0,0.0,0.12019107085175974,0.0,0.06982380554085416,0.0,0.0,0.0834377027682578,0.09192702966934656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2854241497819699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549768366539993,0.04171176527131473,0.08430492346017905,0.0,0.1417463552927321,0.0,0.04741822555306704,0.0,0.06042993739692733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0373300313046898,0.0574552048642289,0.0,0.0
addiction,MrsGardevoir,2020/01/06,"He’s never going to stop It’s a realization I’ve had for a long time now, and it’s still hard to accept. Somewhere inside of me I still harbor hope. But that’s only because of endless lies.

We made a deal that we would start off this new year taking better care of our health. We gained a lot of weight through our own fault and have let ourselves go completely. We came to the realization that we couldn’t live like this anymore, and are serious about making significant changes. He, for the fourth time in less than 3 years, claimed he would stop smoking weed. We scheduled our last evening eating out yesterday, as a one last time kind of deal before starting living healthier. 

I checked our bank account, and saw that he bought 3 TIMES the amount of weed that he normally buys. Normally, 1 trip to the coffee shop would last him 2 weeks, lately it would only last 2 days. So now he’s bought 3 times that amount, just 2 days before “quitting”. At first, he lied through his teeth. But when I confronted him and pretended to be calm, he fessed up. He bought this much so he would have a reason to not stop, just yet. 

He lies about absolutely everything and is getting worse and worse. I have no idea how to help him anymore.",4.616775781442287,5.835482422594144,4.605911887767661,87.08077528919517,69.96234309623429,7.799261629337928,27.02953482648289,8.124751697461798,1.5150913610632533,965,31,197,13,17,298,138,239,0.09699999999999999,0.785,0.11900000000000001,0.6558,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,10,0,0,4,14,10,1,0,10,0,14,4,1,4,1,40,29,14,0,9,5,0,2,1,0,5,1,0,0,0,12,15,2,3,3,2,8,4,4,3,0,2,7,3,19,7,26,14,6,41,0,0,1,0,28,5,0,2,33,111,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990832528187508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061185577219989774,0.0,0.17081762604806847,0.0,0.0,0.08877049671235243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147983363444002,0.10233550463345252,0.0,0.1061798118538642,0.0,0.10523768108871273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12946271773337742,0.20695736193740735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10270517350246657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0662944751016282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09020749477071532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.085376005836767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052440002438286386,0.0,0.11408695214797683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08991321138651569,0.0,0.0,0.10669028491091084,0.0,0.0,0.06727694736875657,0.0,0.0,0.09969161610302234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11330728482202695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452154415718634,0.0,0.3272649025935051,0.11322350239970255,0.0,0.0,0.10263673030973533,0.0,0.04903647894840278,0.0,0.17725986971884547,0.08882568059714788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533231916246656,0.0,0.0949740060494977,0.06699880211373868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378465256532661,0.0,0.07741274219543934,0.0969394873856992,0.0,0.0,0.1966856546345336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06801437320544303,0.1526742032115066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675751926262517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10319869042201334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14208702716141516,0.0,0.16031373029409438,0.25174537960996485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07546692895194332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.292637347036458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08051201882265868,0.12222553152861262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045744088345702,0.3565054162552276,0.0,0.0,0.12927200003736053
addiction,bellakatb,2020/01/06,"I’m addicted to JUUL I know this is somewhat insignificant now that I’m reading the others who are addicted to hard drugs, but I’ve recently realized I’ve become increasingly addicted to my JUUL and it scares me. I’m only 18 but I use it all the time, even at work. Everyone around me has some form of a JUUL or vape, whether it’s the loon pods or a huge rig. I know I need to quit because it’s starting to hurt my throat and chest when I rip it but I can’t seem to stop no matter what I do. I’ve talked to my boyfriend about quitting too but he doesn’t want to, and since we live together I know that it’s going to be even harder to quit when it’s still in the house. Does anyone have any tips to help fight addiction? I really need some help here.",1.0946296296296296,2.8376098209876552,3.2627407407407425,90.90633333333336,80.41975308641976,7.03604938271605,21.29382716049383,8.021203637495839,0.8605130864197528,589,17,136,11,15,201,97,162,0.133,0.7879999999999999,0.079,-0.8202,0,0,1,0,1,0,11.0,1,0,0,4,10,3,1,1,6,0,8,7,2,1,1,27,21,12,0,3,7,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,13,5,0,1,5,1,0,2,3,3,0,0,0,1,15,0,16,20,6,14,0,1,0,0,7,4,0,6,8,82,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5709771523939302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08904391508409915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155652381466284,0.0,0.0,0.11656465538055535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982001031580015,0.14461330791712668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11458676588061525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15184921293253142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17296970714084253,0.0,0.0,0.12511909741078958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744164075187851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172968171011005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17553308727257574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510875613660606,0.14017433230134213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21588414427829608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11562271104074093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941811923091216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958602197608772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4178134787317806,0.13097576512022546,0.0,0.08388372883382507,0.0,0.12928777991280474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13109411386330985,0.0,0.0,0.1192031593918916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831519474367997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09268024009145263,0.0,0.10456911732507436,0.10947197967463404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10524487797117386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07635235988786956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11309040441514548,0.0,0.0,0.07723199965701998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09532612031938534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Mystery_Box_,2020/01/06,"How do you deal with a sugar addiction? I’m not 100% this goes here but I do want to share. I’ve recently come to terms with how reliant I am on sugar. 

Any emotional issue and I run to it. Not to mention that when I crave it, I’ll do anything to have it. It makes me feel good. It’s hard to admit especially since no one I know has this issue. I feel isolated in a way. 

It’s also hard to see it as an addiction when my family says “just use self control. I can do it so you can too.” It just isn’t as easy for me. But deep down I feel stupid saying this because people are dealing with more serious things like drugs or alcohol. 

Some background, heart Disease runs in the family. Making this issue worse. I was pre diabetic but worked up the courage to see a doctor and get ok medication before it got worse. 

I just wish I could live a normal life with it having to revolve around sugar and my constant want for it. I want to be happy and healthy....",0.5303030303030312,2.7087438484848505,2.878585858585861,90.45454545454548,85.26262626262627,6.0242424242424235,20.11111111111111,7.348242739294969,0.6012141414141419,734,22,160,12,22,251,120,198,0.111,0.706,0.184,0.9311,0,0,2,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,0,2,12,8,1,0,7,1,15,12,1,6,0,37,33,16,0,6,9,0,5,1,0,0,8,2,0,1,18,10,4,1,5,0,0,3,4,2,0,1,2,12,18,6,24,29,3,16,0,0,2,0,10,7,0,2,6,107,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613622073354588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281095848389465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09586374437539298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815188982557219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09864665392099653,0.10671388688610817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07307449693287724,0.0,0.10200452997158987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10326142894923147,0.0,0.12954195104777447,0.13444965531069514,0.09571018376768003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.247171078500352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226968222983798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13901657993774535,0.0,0.0,0.13484288887391496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260143738170021,0.0,0.18183673166699468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06262957663304812,0.0,0.0,0.10054520055460092,0.09587473844604297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276088340258736,0.2147683486278364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420520819967208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3753540883422881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06587999331874485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08467103697746109,0.05856471726384992,0.0,0.10585154536925816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16003456964911392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207611363143554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11745174205561396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08123019070855379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08310601476076583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183617922287668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19065832601663107,0.0,0.0,0.1910492116004835,0.0,0.12505544287934536,0.0,0.0,0.09916158034515156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796394158761374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035332415753466,0.0,0.0,0.2121155898024131,0.09515094732057833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13784997475988248,0.0,0.0,0.08727020028363901,0.0,0.24432509571950184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,95243401,2020/01/06,"Cannot stop visiting shady motel to get meth I can't seem to stop, I keep making it my last time and I keep returning. It's worse when I'm drunk, then I go without reasoning. Drugs help distract from the dullness of life, and then you get addicted. The better you like it, the harder you are addicted. Can anyone help?....",0.9684375000000004,3.468953968750004,2.64875,90.32125,87.4375,6.325,20.5,7.645422480735847,0.9897874999999998,250,8,51,5,8,82,45,64,0.18,0.6859999999999999,0.134,-0.4909,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,3,0,1,1,4,0,1,3,0,4,5,0,2,0,10,12,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,2,1,4,2,2,0,2,3,2,0,0,0,0,8,2,5,12,0,10,0,1,0,0,6,0,0,1,9,28,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45884252424360605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147151339845928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18612567838866312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24405486585318656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21990258903600432,0.0,0.11960342766045573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821200270964749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3741147675912751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17154461297370416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14864686342045258,0.10281510465844727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404768245812032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163773660730917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19158552430291567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3518907842617052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12271492614378995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20286602350354374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21446624743283507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ihatemylifebruh,2020/01/06,"5 days sober from alcohol I spent the last days with my girlfriend and they were amazing. Cuddling with her, watching shows, making out and going out to get food. And I will remember it all clearly and I feel so much better not drinking. I smoke a little weed but that’s all. My family is happy and my girl is happy and I am happy. Just wanted to share",0.8237402190923362,3.305581295774651,2.610610328638497,90.39679186228486,88.15492957746478,4.845696400625979,19.156494522691702,6.42735559955562,0.2359940532081381,276,8,54,3,9,91,52,71,0.0,0.6970000000000001,0.303,0.9758,0,0,3,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,1,2,6,0,0,2,0,5,4,0,1,3,20,11,8,0,1,3,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,2,10,3,0,2,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,10,6,7,8,3,7,0,0,1,1,5,3,0,0,3,39,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22663946614858502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875596170902416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735365765071298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077489006125377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19992171970656328,0.0,0.10722949898198546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25643716520945903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107983749308874,0.0,0.12052486948002905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6772607542790601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17286621707325586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21255091325105407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415590780197707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558966288893534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24023516801003786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12508500462071145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,j_p420,2020/01/06,"Help Found an old emergency h stash from before I started recovering. I impulsively flushed that shit which is a good thing but ever since I did that, using has been on my mind more than anything else. I can’t stop thinking about it I can’t stop fantasizing about using it. The process, the feeling, how badly I want it.. My veins are phantom itching. My fiancé doesn’t want to talk about it.. 

Help..?",2.5895129870129883,5.102767090909094,3.4884253246753225,87.19549512987015,79.38961038961041,5.927922077922077,25.209415584415584,7.1686216300943375,1.1702740259740256,314,12,61,4,8,100,56,77,0.177,0.715,0.10800000000000001,-0.8126,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,1,0,4,0,8,3,3,3,1,13,16,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,1,9,1,7,13,1,6,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,5,40,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18130225705156816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839556326530148,0.0,0.0,0.18747368286961516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18404672340976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19928949188145306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11139897994752468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415664030125777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184791587668558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29534790729141336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22245753434828366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311858065135021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261524069427485,0.18224863809141129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15594162549975765,0.0,0.0,0.3683900352500974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17708259419865355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14636893675254162,0.14117034525798813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3805665905811389,0.0,0.0,0.2598975478533129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Andy553,2020/01/06,"4 Days Sober { I’m honestly surprised I’m even posting again on reddit, after the other day. I’ve came to realize the *internet and world* is full of arrogant and unforgiving assholes. Who don’t deserve to know mine or for that matter anyone’s story... My only hope is that maybe this helps someone who’s also struggling, and if anyone needs someone to talk to message me. I’d love to share my full story, but not to everyone, as I tried to do that four days ago, and was met with the rudest, most arrogant comments I’ve ever heard in my life. Ill try and reply as quick as possible, but between work and this extreme fatigue please allow some time..} 

     I’m a 19 years old *M*, I’ve abused drugs in general for the better part of 6 years. 6 months ago I was introduced to crystal meth, and made the absolute worst decision of my entire life. 

     I snorted a line smaller than one inch, and from there went into a full blown addiction. I changed from the sweet guy I formally was, into someone I didn’t even know. I met people who was so mean, cruel, and heartless, people I never knew existed on this earth. 

    I thought that meth made me a *better person, A harder worker, and easier to get along with*. **That is a total lie in which your brain is lying to you**. My ROA changed from snorting, to oral, then to smoking, and finally slamming. By the time I reached IV, I was a goner... I see it so clearly now. 

    I’m so angry, really I’m just pissed at myself. The withdrawal has been brutal, but **nothing** can compare to the self-hatred I have right now. I lost everything, 4K in savings wiped clean, a brand new vehicle that I had busted my ass for gone. EVERYTHING I had formerly gone in 6 MONTHS. I BEG anyone who’s considering this drug to RUN, anyone who’s still on this drug PLEASE stop using and get help. 

    Last but not least..., the only thing that was able to pull my head out of my ass has been my newly found girlfriend. I’ve known her for 4 years before we decided to become something more than good friends. This girl is for lack of a better word a savior. She has stuck by my side helping me beat this drug, and for the last 4 days I’ve been absolutely sure she’s had to think I’m crazy. Yet she assures me I’m not, understands it’s the withdrawal causing my mood-swings, and she **stays by my side**.  She has a daughter who’s only 5 months old. The father completely out of their lives. 

    My only hope is that I can be the best father this girl could ever dream of having. I’m just your regular 19 year old, yet when I look into the eyes of this baby... It gives me purpose again in life. If it wasn’t for these two coming into my life I’d still be nothing. Even though it’s only been four days, things in my life have changed so rapidly. I’ve *applied / am applying* for new careers, and am currently working daily in construction.’The future looks brighter everyday, and even though there’s moments I feel absolutely hopeless and just wanna give up, these two girls are the reason I keep pushing on. Work has been extremely hard on me, as I feel so fatigued I just want to sleep, yet I feel I must earn a paycheck to help care for her kid, my kid. 

{ So to wrap all this up, you can beat this drug. I know I will beat this drug, because even on my worst days. My two girls are the reason I keep going. I refuse to let her have a drug-addicted father. Thanks for reading.}",2.20874684328394,4.1838921639586415,3.6233489779387256,88.53353873826656,77.87740029542097,6.553857149664079,23.474746271501413,7.542262844301418,1.0429022442464384,2613,85,537,37,62,858,312,677,0.14400000000000002,0.721,0.135,-0.9565,1,0,12,0,1,1,118.0,1,4,1,13,34,29,4,1,30,0,46,24,7,7,9,92,96,39,0,10,14,4,4,0,2,2,16,1,1,8,37,29,0,4,18,2,0,9,7,11,0,6,30,12,69,18,80,60,14,89,0,4,4,3,49,31,3,7,47,344,106,7,0.05670303732413726,0.06718382707982297,0.0,0.12362936073194178,0.0,0.0,0.10052764264469873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04534539846186944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158592328433293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034565645254229525,0.06262404979312053,0.04825010838680258,0.0,0.0595063393722829,0.15044768576924286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06329934247408804,0.0,0.06485316883730992,0.057812525611294276,0.058249638902381023,0.17995288480350066,0.04884464582469243,0.05945205581392717,0.0,0.0,0.04527276133518344,0.0,0.0,0.21941260889298456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4603026489116609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18725910686755592,0.10258228713966762,0.0,0.054182182118493835,0.10192206742796277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601227822017364,0.0,0.0,0.062115405766024485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06217195368201728,0.043808625978662766,0.0,0.05924999334060518,0.10878944047611548,0.032225642833315124,0.04755981745010223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056144921789724564,0.0,0.0,0.050794783830844965,0.0,0.0581936751212289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520274026785621,0.0,0.0,0.11263782066313835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10080052984176484,0.0,0.0,0.0934875192024295,0.09244108694549773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05798269741224697,0.20025516085037207,0.0,0.0,0.050069820805014695,0.0,0.09523254065480324,0.0,0.061898063483962186,0.0,0.05117670501941814,0.10730756987636816,0.0,0.0,0.05696582239832139,0.06176623071098821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357794702407849,0.0,0.0,0.0420445836942707,0.043732878015743736,0.10952829357328392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10881618720376644,0.0,0.17850089758237886,0.0,0.038423445576975634,0.21562607510863527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06140386375139145,0.0,0.0786214930046536,0.04951090505332927,0.0,0.12448581475874206,0.0,0.06392415479505051,0.054305835589290176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05671838197132936,0.0,0.03632541767409462,0.11660033249348704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04842408405468095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04518497938034679,0.0,0.059153634402007174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05674398757955724,0.0,0.14413289854929126,0.04365276839187985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060437893208347415,0.09056623770671066,0.047406278196917236,0.0,0.0592783261605177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053441941625116826,0.0,0.0,0.04557575352826242,0.0,0.05220453847474136,0.0,0.0,0.07534195685143616,0.03633301674900975,0.11142089254783884,0.04501587784463325,0.06612799411490297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769952805159292,0.0,0.16617188457633214,0.0590298615944425,0.0,0.048973218434895216,0.0,0.0,0.03344492053881499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05256428368289695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238414595056612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14605958781855868
addiction,Djkaijones91,2020/01/07,"URGENT HELP/COUNSELLING  I NEED SOME URGENT COUNSEELING,HELP TO HELP ME WITH AN ISSUE , I CALLED THEM TOAY AND SAID TO WAIT FOR A LETTER FOR AN APPOINTMENT BUT I DONT THINK I WILL HAVE THAT OPTION IN A WEEK CAN ANYBODY HELP ME WITH SOME DRUGS CHARITES WHO CAN HELP in the uk, i had to ask somebody today to save my life cuse i fucked up an overdosed on the drug , was the most out of body experiance ive ever had and i want the buzz again but i no that i would probbably have to ask for help again .",0.9144842657342664,3.0626763750000023,2.053041958041959,97.18286713286714,83.32692307692308,4.935664335664336,18.10839160839161,6.1124844417494595,-0.4119884615384621,389,9,89,3,11,123,65,104,0.054000000000000006,0.7809999999999999,0.166,0.8168,0,0,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,3,3,1,0,9,0,11,5,1,0,1,18,19,4,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,4,1,14,2,16,13,3,10,0,0,0,1,11,5,1,4,5,63,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30664932110918897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821751070988714,0.0,0.0,0.1674697624675387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19221530205986048,0.0,0.3803927347755919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14835396768734116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604305831603191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15162208076839756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6595837063134977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17118098219850578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11584318692980808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216093145264953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560084735586008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10508923797784772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15545971758614602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09673573867904947,0.0,0.1315567413375561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11650606087777635,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,dogtitts,2020/01/07,"Phone addiction, need help! So I thought once I stopped using social media, I would be able to stay off of my phone. It’s been a week and I still can’t put the thing down. I don’t even miss social media, it was easy to give up. Something about having it in my hand, playing games, or even flipping through my home screen apps... I can’t stop. I can’t even watch movies. I don’t know what to do. I know this sounds so stupid. 

I’ve never been addicted to anything, not drugs, cigarettes, food, etc. I hate this compulsion. 

I know most of the posts on here are about drugs but I can’t find a better place to ask.",0.4622497187851522,2.6050885039370115,1.6061248593925759,99.70466535433071,85.22047244094489,4.888413948256468,17.732845894263214,6.1826913282559595,-0.4834539932508437,468,11,111,4,14,147,82,127,0.08199999999999999,0.8190000000000001,0.099,0.4455,0,0,4,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,9,5,2,0,4,0,14,6,1,1,1,16,24,5,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,1,0,7,1,1,2,5,2,0,1,8,3,0,0,4,4,15,2,15,18,2,14,0,1,2,0,8,6,0,2,5,69,22,0,0.1497625335703886,0.0,0.0,0.3265265347438744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232418045335785,0.0,0.14000775243233926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13245279061980902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3473539849681124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670248128688653,0.29675022293744496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13688024250627753,0.0,0.18109345005904806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14366586871063988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14785949646766675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10038266939351101,0.0,0.15022403206170526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24691671546501626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110470210082707,0.11550609845681988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594922105321195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15646997225064024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14343110897248249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15055271092757186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30532808586887794,0.0,0.11529451507787945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596269342468844,0.11960055276546347,0.2504163679743771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994955726773641,0.0,0.0,0.11889472301755527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293467443018946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120130470893398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063870069514004,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,joyfulwildflower,2020/01/07,"12 Step Recovery & The Law of Attraction Advice Hi!!

I was wondering if there were any people in this thread that are heavy believers in the Law of Attraction and belong to any 12 Step Recovery programs. 

I’ve been sober for 6 months now. I have spent  almost 12 years in therapy and the past couple of years have leaned heavily into Louise Hay, Abraham Hicks, Brene Brown, etc. During that time I just naturally gave up smoking cigarillos and drinking alcohol because I was focused on loving myself, but still struggled with marijuana and my sex and love addiction. 

In the past 6 months I haven’t had any real issues, but I’m finding that the negativity and fear based mentality in these rooms of “you need to do the steps or else!” And these threats of relapse and what not are not jiving with my inner being. 

I was wondering if there are any people out there who used to go to programs then left and haven’t looked back or had any issues or if they still choose to go. Thank you for your time, I appreciate it!! Have a great day!!! 

Namaste,
Chelsea",7.278059090909089,7.061475015000003,7.253909090909094,75.43945454545455,63.85,10.672727272727274,33.18181818181819,10.230975488527342,3.20465,833,30,156,17,11,267,121,200,0.07200000000000001,0.8009999999999999,0.127,0.9025,0,0,2,0,0,0,23.0,0,3,1,0,8,9,1,2,7,0,17,6,0,1,0,34,30,18,0,4,11,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,9,13,2,0,4,1,1,5,5,3,0,0,9,2,14,6,23,20,1,31,0,0,2,3,9,12,0,9,14,100,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13717916957902165,0.0,0.12296490509989412,0.0,0.13447978299910585,0.12600598501050966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363426128444969,0.0,0.42786196526736864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675966199902544,0.0,0.07670809723297647,0.0,0.0,0.14177341449372485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13923448639229122,0.0,0.08115342856235101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327079456832415,0.0,0.0,0.10511933719244504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14033974388277348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14159981920861786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11501128392836385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14303032538069765,0.0,0.0,0.13873398242289794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626789474108236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13672053983376573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10567005092141543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22714273874071705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12681249525073732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20088124550387626,0.0,0.0,0.0933053611590108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402482725161431,0.1744768565911494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14322824407366955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20098464000700675,0.0,0.0,0.13155049105795846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11585233788838704,0.14390375660966231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14675127760755416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10868139084011656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729262660952015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16206775516252694
addiction,kpmnc24,2020/01/07,Good books for family/friends of an addict? I go to Naranon meetings and they are very helpful.,1.4566666666666668,4.094020222222227,2.483333333333338,87.94500000000002,96.77777777777777,4.622222222222223,28.222222222222207,6.42735559955562,1.7237555555555557,76,4,13,1,3,24,18,18,0.0,0.7,0.3,0.7178,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,8,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5490762415651357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3891353244582793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28624810068059314,0.4224557283224565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33760036605967503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4155817073790949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,lischen_moeller,2020/01/07,"Second attempt Just want to share with someone since I haven't talked to anyone in days.

As a last desperate try to finish this Semester with a Little bit of dignity I quit alcohol yesterday and god has it been awful. I did it before at the start of December, but only lasted About a week. I know the physical Symptoms will pass soon (last time it was About the fourth day I think) and finally having a clear mind again is what I'm currently really Looking Forward to. 

It's crazy to think what we deliberately do to our bodies, yesterday I felt so weak and empty (physically and mentally) I almost collapsed during a 200m walk. But that's also a good reminder why this Needs to stop. I just really hope I'll feel better tomorrow, because we have a Group Project going on (to which I couldn't really contribute much yet, which I feel really bad about) and they want to meet for it tomorrow. They don't know what's going on. Should be fun.

On a brighter note my therapy starts next week and I'm really Looking Forward to that. While I'm Feeling awful it's nice to Dream About finishing the Semester passing at least some exams and then returning to my Family sober in march. Hope I can make that happen.",4.662488110137673,6.003594497872343,5.9696871088861085,76.88411764705884,69.97872340425532,9.954943679599502,28.291614518147693,10.194018383442646,2.990719649561953,957,34,177,26,17,322,142,235,0.114,0.7170000000000001,0.16899999999999998,0.8968,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,3,0,2,3,11,9,0,0,12,2,15,4,1,1,1,36,39,14,0,7,4,0,4,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,16,11,1,1,8,1,0,7,3,2,0,1,4,6,18,7,29,31,4,42,0,0,2,0,9,10,0,4,29,112,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13356637518212114,0.12515013256095425,0.0,0.0,0.099947032563594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738942181524416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10435367650644828,0.07618708378340026,0.0,0.10634938312843052,0.0,0.0,0.1105352858926446,0.136446570966301,0.138825399385725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16120444344777848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178206950235018,0.0,0.18958201413467501,0.0,0.12000108591218753,0.13691026418078936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420588409363075,0.10482789400122043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052003344457983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482681002169945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13737226477892733,0.30562789082970104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12526350995717794,0.0,0.0,0.20990464666317116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342559769721686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259511648569031,0.0,0.1261948940676944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187520592822083,0.09267161648491516,0.0,0.0,0.13291840818787454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505346553990454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13293237449286172,0.0,0.0,0.4003292314447125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10338533889312912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10589575417010832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769239865787249,0.0,0.0,0.10448947393527318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990281705820078,0.0,0.10045476446369687,0.0,0.0,0.14292633968312246,0.0,0.0,0.16016519123546696,0.0,0.0,0.07287725993548233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485370147799746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14743372759159326,0.0,0.2005039815693226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11277565570453273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Jackolantern646464,2020/01/07,"Drying for His Dream I’ve lost several friends to addiction. The following regards a buddy of mine, a popular television actor, who had everything to live for ... https://medium.com/@joeleisenberg/dying-for-his-dream-4aa91a003612",15.074022988505751,20.675372034482766,9.338620689655171,45.32678160919542,52.793103448275865,13.521839080459767,40.70114942528736,11.855464076750405,7.407473563218392,195,9,18,7,3,52,26,29,0.069,0.693,0.23800000000000002,0.6808,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,2,5,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,12,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4510807018341372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3718783097768881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3196849945004813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.365374855547565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4516891740475654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4674530269699389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,drcarlosmr,2020/01/07,"Clonazepan Addict! clonazepam addict
Since my brother was murdered, I live every day taking drugs. I am really tired of this kind of life. sorry for be so negative.",2.7462068965517226,5.658647068965517,3.7616551724137928,78.42386206896553,95.55172413793105,5.078620689655172,23.04137931034483,6.742157984588678,1.6357944827586208,131,5,18,2,5,42,26,29,0.377,0.623,0.0,-0.9316,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,12,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5864595748311969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734709626717574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119334091793021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266287074688588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28010307835846016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18998974967557056,0.0,0.0,0.23751579436579956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723165830397364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22250446551427414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3011030233577633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20224078475064472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091549282647848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Motherhazelhoff,2020/01/07,"Im addicted to weed and nobody knows.. Im addicted to weed. Nobody knows.

As the title says - Im hella addicted to weed... I need help to kick this addiction away from my life, or it might turn out bad...
I’ve smoked the last 12 years. Every day. Im 27. 

I smoke From when i wake up, until i go to sleep. It is kinda my ritual now. I dont even get high anymore. Its more just to numb the feelings and real life, if it “gets too close” when i haven’t smoked for hours. Im sick and tired of it.. I really want to stop.. But i simply can’t. I’ve tried at least 20 times the last 3 years But nothing seems to work for me. 

I had a good childhood, but made all the wrong choices. I was the one that always said yes if i knew somebody would laugh,smile etc. It made me do some stupid shit which  at one time also made me go to jail(gave some “friends” a lift to a location which they vandalised and gave me the blame).  But back to the problem... I now have a son and a girlfriend which i love very much, but i still smoke. It makes me distance myself from my son and girlfriend more and more by the day, and it tears me up inside. Which makes me smoke even more...  My son and girlfriend has never seen me sober.. Im in a vicious circle that i need to get out of ASAP. I need your advice fellow redditers! 

Please ask if there is anything you want to know which could help you understand my situation. 

Sorry for my lack of english grammar.",0.5884985927689996,2.6084310973154388,2.1764819224940446,96.57991664862527,83.66442953020135,5.0532149815977485,18.337735440571553,6.207218560251982,-0.3169507685646247,1089,26,252,9,31,354,159,298,0.099,0.8109999999999999,0.09,-0.4382,0,0,5,0,0,0,50.0,0,3,1,1,12,10,3,0,15,1,13,13,3,5,2,51,41,23,0,12,10,3,1,0,5,2,9,2,0,0,16,12,0,1,7,0,0,2,4,7,0,2,9,4,35,3,33,29,11,31,1,0,1,1,19,10,1,9,19,156,51,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3738677409485969,0.0,0.08378205566256477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856454480142338,0.07134077734233152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502892999916653,0.0,0.0,0.07055496284174792,0.0,0.08015333601942601,0.0,0.08055355252085962,0.06592713084198755,0.07158754136564363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06845471377786104,0.0,0.0,0.11058766830251833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10048414676642042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09562039042037804,0.11325811092467565,0.0,0.07223785451867727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04335164392669784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0662408667800907,0.0,0.13438349735647506,0.0,0.09745361632040718,0.07191285874457866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11493657587730205,0.09058676849509904,0.0,0.0,0.0844345327734976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5556696829822567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413578756865255,0.13977561698342056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111838831353405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773817763900285,0.2433817409887897,0.11446138988182206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09095433253724708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06302720062246314,0.19072063584051066,0.06612633201419718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226779999437596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11619640118072468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941144362238291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08203956380017849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758846808919247,0.054925875877796765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08155634949909274,0.0681821966224345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07805253805503372,0.0,0.0,0.08800869293027627,0.0,0.09637295975641512,0.08579979028922985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09597652759609376,0.0,0.0,0.06847037487122039,0.07168069959809698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999888846259044,0.09854307065133122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05821038671511264,0.09325818385960748,0.0,0.08925614786067787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07074272312097096,0.10114083591489018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06241819152969246,0.0,0.0,0.06090572391980605,0.09374090304545224,0.0,0.1104247563408679
addiction,Londonskys96,2020/01/07,Cbd oil for cravings Ive heard that cbd oil for addiction *cocaine for me* should I look more into it?,-0.8621428571428567,0.962956000000002,1.0670238095238105,96.76339285714286,108.04761904761904,4.0047619047619065,19.535714285714285,5.985473137389443,0.12994285714285736,80,3,17,1,4,26,16,21,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,4,2,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,11,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7922118356941458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6102461858841165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,AnnaE390,2020/01/07,"I’ve recently discovered my sister is addicted to crack, and she is having paranoid thoughts. My sister attempted suicide two months ago.  That’s when I discovered that she was addicted to cocaine.

She was held overnight at the hospital and for a couple of days until some hack psychologist signed her out, believing she was unlikely to do it again.

She was back in the hospital a couple days later from another suicide attempt.


She’s back home now, but now she’s expressing paranoid thoughts.  This morning, she texted me believing that someone entered our home and returned a DVD to her bedroom without anyone knowing.  She is CONVINCED.  She also believes that pamphlets with rehabilitation services are purposely placed in her line of sight whenever she recovers from a night of  getting high or dreams about getting high.

I am at a complete loss.

I don’t know what to do or how to convince her to go to rehab/see a therapist.

I’ve been speaking with her all morning, but she’s convinced she just needs to be alone to get better.  Although she admits she only gets high when she is stressed and depressed (which is why she believes she’d be better off alone with no distractions to make her stressed and depressed), which is obviously nonsense.  

She also believes that her paranoid thoughts are an attempt by “us” to make her look insane so we can commit her to a “nut house.”

I want to help her as best I can.  I want her to get help immediately, and I’m willing to do anything to make that happen.  But I also feel like time is ticking.  I also discovered she’s prostituting to support her habit, and the next step is stealing to get high, including from me.

:(",5.5125352907961584,7.265479389610395,5.8384528514963305,77.05516374929421,68.41558441558442,8.603274985883681,35.469226425748175,9.085049710711278,3.3987338791643147,1324,68,226,25,23,423,157,308,0.147,0.71,0.14300000000000002,0.1643,0,2,1,0,0,2,32.0,3,0,0,7,15,15,0,3,11,0,27,2,0,4,3,39,52,23,2,3,7,2,1,1,0,1,2,1,3,0,11,12,0,1,7,2,0,3,3,7,0,1,9,4,47,8,40,39,3,32,0,3,2,0,42,11,0,3,19,167,58,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18110174916782765,0.0,0.0,0.07363029224970133,0.0,0.0,0.1720563286605972,0.0,0.265701640113227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870987440549995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0580795450082096,0.0,0.06835372931984753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277405606892599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4679174948554922,0.08716944003505192,0.14692485609001465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08708992132435836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18381514560490655,0.0,0.10713746051029953,0.0,0.14308399192368396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041999122601515136,0.05934018711475046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603817742477427,0.0,0.04720658790612978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07345229117460056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11135068718112286,0.35104226289861323,0.1666378200764526,0.0,0.0,0.0958434905010604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09129844859227147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04058036104045242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975195693066914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16633548966153286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630005314838862,0.0,0.0,0.06159012393969494,0.0,0.0,0.08833838822149742,0.07794895047275914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06317311541072773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08678310229537634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201464100644103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037896684456878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19029665408412025,0.0,0.0,0.18171476832943484,0.0942588497914026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964424854628049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978281090281982,0.04843467333433588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114043131587809,0.0,0.0999144999589218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09798535840513307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749513915444991,0.0,0.0,0.08006971839364206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,SarahTonin91,2020/01/07,"Whose an alcoholic stay at home wife/mom? Just super interesting to me. 

What's your days typically like?

Do you hide your consumption or own it?",2.0061111111111103,4.859705074074075,3.649907407407409,80.91708333333334,90.85185185185185,8.625925925925927,21.564814814814817,8.841846274778883,2.377303703703704,115,4,22,4,4,38,26,27,0.053,0.649,0.298,0.8377,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,3,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,2,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,2,14,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4637467459586976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798535034774122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4352742499039428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119997273681346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5082218373576882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4625191663091479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Rockima,2020/01/07,"What do you think of group therapy? So clean for 2 weeks and my casemanager thought group therapy would be a great follow up after my detox.

To be honest, I hate it. I don't care about other peoples(strangers) problems and with every subject I have to wait for each individual to respond. It feels like everything they try to learn me, could easily fit in one hour if I would be alone. I notice some in the group really like to talk 'bout themselves while I try to keep my answer short so that others also have a chance to speak. I zone out a lot, can't sit still and notice I'm really inpatient. I feel no connection with the group because they come from different enviourments and most are alcoholics, what had never been a problem for me. I understand a group like this can support me, but I already have a lot of support from my parents and friends. I'm not in the mood to hear extra drama and feels like it's bringing me down.

Does anyone reconize this?",5.50391265597148,6.197267657754015,6.0735962566844925,79.27353163992872,67.6096256684492,9.441889483065957,29.487076648841356,9.516144504307137,2.532939750445633,760,26,146,15,12,247,116,187,0.049,0.7809999999999999,0.17,0.9609,2,1,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,2,0,5,14,1,0,9,0,16,2,0,0,1,34,34,12,0,6,3,1,3,4,1,2,2,2,1,0,10,11,1,2,8,1,0,3,5,3,0,1,3,5,21,10,25,25,6,18,0,0,0,0,14,8,0,5,10,104,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139525038027894,0.0,0.13521700932223413,0.14407218346348574,0.10440586936791613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128803851554804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07958594180323443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13311090433746411,0.0,0.0,0.11246273898294742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423862544422637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13640360274377564,0.0,0.0,0.11425074545486892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999935935021302,0.0,0.11733563292579695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19803964654635614,0.1865389712018392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008675154759594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14393884152419195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12889737070933613,0.0,0.0,0.1471464998470242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285717104142113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11604448640721188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551329602263261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22198868737910146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10069310898291556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972785493927878,0.0,0.0,0.08846836450115884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14496738115133945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24984959809561635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16727548730686173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426247319341177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963076074019703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049362522024674,0.0,0.0,0.2986051384906449,0.0,0.0,0.08365524020324229,0.0,0.10364716203080614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17727838925600986,0.0,0.0,0.13591376914722675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047244323844936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18548697650502385,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Ihatepayingtaxes,2020/01/07,"7 days without porn May seem like nothing to some of you, but its so fucking hard to do it since i've been using it for 9 years, finally decided to quit, lets do this boyos.",14.127837837837836,4.694135297297297,13.191351351351347,66.38810810810813,60.89189189189189,16.962162162162162,50.51351351351353,11.20814326018867,5.370318918918918,134,5,31,2,1,45,33,37,0.068,0.884,0.048,-0.1796,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,0,7,8,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,6,5,1,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,3,4,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018100208850644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34279282484735435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892930930315498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803183400664513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31998587778823145,0.0,0.15287880579006008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3002589111403707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3328330745597115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848741559850746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588538746823157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.270265768727324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016474623220833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015127249307528
addiction,uplatealways11,2020/01/07,"Dating advice? Hey Reddit, don’t really post on here much, but I’m having feeling for a current math addict, we’ve only been seeing each other 2-3 weeks now, but I didn’t know he was on it when it stared, but he offered it to me when I came over, and I thought it was like a one time thing, but he got boxes of needles and I can tell he’s been doing it more than just this time, so I didn’t want him to feel like I was being rude so i took a like(no needles for me),  and I’m not wanting to get addicted to it, so I guess my question is; is me trying to talk to him about getting help and quitting a waste of my time? I really like the guy and he’s sweet to me, but I know that the addiction comes first in most of these situations, and if I do have a shot at convincing him, how should I approach it and not upset him? (I also see he sells some, so I don’t know how far that means he’s gone..) thanks for the advice in advance. Sorry if this is badly written, he’s asleep beside me and trying not to wake him up",2.903119795003203,2.7761583542600943,4.7503939782190905,89.37512331838569,73.08071748878925,7.447661755285075,24.000320307495194,6.868970318607317,0.6283468289557974,775,18,186,6,14,267,121,223,0.059000000000000004,0.799,0.141,0.9541,1,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,3,13,9,1,1,8,0,19,5,2,2,0,38,42,24,0,5,11,0,2,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,14,11,0,0,8,0,1,6,7,3,0,2,13,6,26,6,23,27,5,25,0,0,3,0,20,8,0,6,13,127,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4396318409131877,0.0,0.2627186414316409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10750025120628197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223991499301884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15374728589928932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157959103755957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359394312562711,0.0960338072244499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11434250352675175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404638482434233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751257980208588,0.0,0.14808515679742176,0.13310266093323062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09010276969959084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22163068668068234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626945925681901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14642908746473632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09881841875223628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109039046617072,0.10223686648291187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12874274272228028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505876432976168,0.14297836849070653,0.0,0.0,0.17223319929240274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21423989198032936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15110021386873496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504786600183561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10804635353074844,0.11749406060909985,0.12376120158833301,0.0,0.0,0.08930651799997809,0.0,0.0,0.1067190572961584,0.23515426769589365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14935199261820534,0.1825325673148645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15857562096493824,0.0,0.1078282557956258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,uglyg1997,2020/01/07,"cocaine and alcohol is ruining my life if anyone has been through this or is going through this i would love to hear your thoughts, i need that right now. 

for the past year i’ve been abusing cocaine and alcohol. all my friends do it so i started doing it too. i tried drugs in the past but this past year i have done it way too much. i don’t know what to do, i want to stop but i also don’t. i have so much fun in the moment and all my worries go away, but as soon as i’m alone i feel so horrible about myself and regret everything. i tell myself i’m going to stop but the next chance i have i do it all again. 

i started dating this guy who i was madly i love with about a year ago. he did it a lot so i started doing it with him. my best friend also does it so it was literally everywhere in my life. i don’t think i was pressured into it because i wanted to do it, but it was hard to say no when everyone around you is living this lifestyle. i broke up with my (now ex) boyfriend about a month ago and the only way i know how to cope with it is drinking excessively and doing crazy amounts of blow. sometimes i stay up till 8am just craving for more because i don’t want to stop, because i know when i’m sober i’m going to be miserable. it’s a horrible cycle. it feels like it helps the pain in the moment but i know it’s not doing anything good for me. 

i feel like i’m wasting my life away, i’m 21 and i’ve dropped out of school and i only work a part time job that barely supports my partying lifestyle. my family knows and they want to get me help but i get so angry at them and i tell them i’m okay. but i’m not. i feel like such a disappointment to them all the time. i don’t know why im like this and i hate myself for it. part of me doesn’t want to get help because i don’t want to stop doing this, but part of me knows i need help and i can’t keep living like this.",0.08288227016885585,1.806083432692308,2.4079385553470942,95.87059803001878,83.66346153846155,5.4046904315197,19.76172607879925,6.467335915029111,-0.06285863039399597,1452,40,354,14,41,495,167,416,0.18,0.66,0.16,-0.9219,1,1,6,0,0,0,30.0,0,2,4,2,23,23,2,2,14,1,35,10,0,1,4,67,80,37,0,11,14,1,5,5,2,1,7,2,0,1,29,19,3,5,13,1,0,4,11,9,0,0,9,7,59,14,45,69,13,50,0,5,0,2,23,13,0,3,34,239,88,3,0.0,0.08948622366417347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13389887872043085,0.16142912597739092,0.0,0.07822238911628572,0.0,0.12079658588305026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05280969092733438,0.0,0.062151645964195874,0.06723435061994486,0.0,0.0,0.14191874464349707,0.0,0.0,0.1841603371979035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926011104097333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06609350637610158,0.07728954788362671,0.0,0.07398694503334895,0.08758644024929338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07216854231759992,0.06787809893099113,0.0,0.0711994010234941,0.0,0.15275330986093144,0.16186784558955508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11670274448905557,0.0,0.11837800226560465,0.0,0.17169317126739694,0.06334781221543836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07478283460859457,0.0,0.0,0.06765666060463894,0.07456650859407744,0.0,0.0,0.08512354197025387,0.0,0.20249453998822453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158128079336911,0.0,0.0749481220620068,0.06713117688405977,0.0,0.0,0.2905506573902247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16003921383463396,0.1844914869738574,0.0,0.1333820765542027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06420969362737668,0.1363307293084664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060284310332275076,0.0,0.11104092756700626,0.11200347416536256,0.0,0.0,0.080322994581599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11488219128733833,0.08036522586122022,0.0,0.0,0.2453626173590673,0.21629497638011252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06449898144833899,0.0,0.060061483627219726,0.0,0.07643656944299344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746973653706824,0.0,0.16037354730314415,0.0805009042281528,0.0,0.2525732157993965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570626240178697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13202649504400465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04839415383903455,0.0,0.05995938439853725,0.08807989554984054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05127734748682892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26728393750576385,0.11989840011730413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06815066856117986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05498398957958698,0.0767005451996628,0.0,0.05365166159533424,0.0,0.0,0.1459092334264389
addiction,willskin88,2020/01/07,"Struggling with my thoughts I have been following this sub for awhile and have always appreciated the positive words of encouragement everyone seems to share with each other. So thank you. But lately I have been struggling with wanting to use again. I was really close to picking up some H tonight but was able to talk to my brother who is also struggling with addiction and he was able to help me out. Life has been difficult lately. I have a domestic violence charge with an ex gf and I just got out of jail ( not for very long though) and now I’m not even able to go back to my own home for the foreseeable future because of it. I feel like I get these waves of the fuck it’s a lot. Lack of any friends and poor self esteem. Trying to exercise and eat healthy and become more spiritual but it’s hard ya know. Thank you for letting me unload, I don’t really talk about my shit much ever, even on the internet. But thanks",2.8146994182288303,5.01956671428572,3.821557853910793,86.73226567550097,76.91208791208791,7.579056237879766,24.44214608920491,8.4952907291091,1.6322762766645118,730,25,148,15,17,235,116,182,0.16399999999999998,0.688,0.14800000000000002,-0.7433,0,0,0,0,1,0,14.0,0,3,0,0,11,13,2,3,7,0,14,6,1,2,1,35,29,14,0,2,7,2,2,1,2,0,3,0,1,1,7,16,1,0,4,1,1,2,3,6,0,0,8,2,17,7,28,20,7,16,0,0,0,1,15,5,2,3,10,103,24,0,0.3806516332860278,0.0,0.0,0.13832215552437094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014689912043964,0.10557755075351367,0.0,0.0,0.0862853879117323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09756586992462396,0.0,0.077347234190146,0.14013327422814886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12983388354534486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16761120918291128,0.11477373167483106,0.0,0.1212429826907248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641563010304257,0.09064586762577698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980301692098608,0.11730210041141036,0.06629158919172233,0.0,0.07211103177226033,0.0,0.10148062810910267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11366303194127313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504758866652093,0.0,0.1272748748743281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06973206091792626,0.0,0.28626108157649943,0.0,0.0,0.12974736165738635,0.08962183526537118,0.061989053522291976,0.0,0.0,0.11228823901659768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078721354628529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327424960116816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16257012228344084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11551031688935852,0.13236755685127774,0.0,0.13024447715238446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3979397354409048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039689093384733,0.0,0.3504528817699613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12466276567653915,0.10073162587635497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861458241239233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10958693140164988,0.0,0.10469248750832276,0.0748393985519484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,zacstop,2020/01/07,"I’m scared I’m addicted to weed I’ve been smoking everyday for probably the past 8 months, and I cannot stop. I’m gunna try really hard agin to stop but I feel like I’m so depressed lately. Please give me some advice",-0.7360486322188429,1.435435638297875,2.0924012158054737,92.02,96.87234042553192,6.089969604863223,17.352583586626142,7.447530270364453,0.6303945288753798,173,5,38,4,7,60,36,47,0.168,0.637,0.195,0.0766,0,0,0,1,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,8,3,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,3,1,3,7,1,6,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,7,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27716232256327034,0.0,0.24844324977216295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21897906400915934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12855286510864247,0.18163120077677344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438929863764024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277517278631182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867971003214932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12421025382813815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20293428198362304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24270364592063684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27908239062664336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741168809435714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16287453192389892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545415270673449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4251169492860883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17261426127144766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Smartest,2020/01/07,"Opioid Withdrawal Questions I’ve been taking around 30mg of roxycodone every day for a several months now and 15mg for even longer. It never really interfered with work or social engagements. I was good at my job and it actually made me more social.

Anyway I full stopped this week because it’s extremely expensive and I need to focus on my next career move which requires a clearer definition in my daily routine and the pills tend to jack that up. The new job I want is also a desk job and I find it harder to focus when on the drugs at a desk than I do at my current job which is more engaged and active. 

That said, this fucking sucks. I always thought whatever I’ll just stop when I stop, but Christ it feels goddamn awful. I’m not nauseous or having headaches or anything but every single limb feels restless and anxious. My chest feels the same. Fluttery. Irritable. I can’t relax. I can’t sleep. When I lay in a position for too long I feel like I need to “shake” or snap my limbs or flail my body to like  eliminate this shitty feeling of restlessness. It’s almost like a tickle. 

I tried to quit last week and got this feeling and was like alright fuck that and did a little more to ease off but now it’s time to cold turkey this thing and it is just the goddamn worst. 

That said, any tips? A cig break seemed to help but not for very long so that’s not a great solution. I don’t really drink. I have a prescription for klonopin but it’s not helping. I don’t always take it but even a full milligram didn’t stop this feeling. Just made me tired. Working out just added soreness.

Is this just some shit I gotta deal with? Pay the piper? How long is this gonna last? This blows. 

Anyways I’m not gonna relapse or anything. Just wanna know how long this bullshit restless anxious awful feeling is gonna last.

Thanks for listening.",1.9097876056731629,4.3181053514986365,3.0631062670299727,89.8623363375952,81.31607629427793,5.834947250751066,23.306714175923986,7.116496586553881,0.918612855446098,1452,51,290,19,39,466,187,367,0.215,0.6709999999999999,0.114,-0.9936,5,0,3,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,4,21,20,4,4,17,3,18,11,4,4,1,68,51,30,0,4,23,0,8,4,0,4,4,3,0,0,28,15,1,5,13,2,2,2,11,9,0,0,11,12,27,11,32,36,9,42,1,0,0,2,9,14,4,10,29,180,55,11,0.0,0.0,0.08241898073791093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08457264709316313,0.0,0.0,0.06754115988565013,0.14055190952700528,0.0,0.0,0.05743444486406948,0.0,0.0,0.1908273610503252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13900373844301153,0.07518566840003288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0514849103074864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09381397581898672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05446852602780332,0.08707265421809482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08273684305591641,0.0979446516877516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115676360204088,0.0,0.14231928457989348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34163666626697564,0.12067385248668587,0.0,0.0,0.07719322797717769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15616041560618926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07083949735783747,0.0675489057992737,0.0931154193533128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11322104843722172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3352467660117547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046415995859526084,0.2065340181751623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16504796294566254,0.0846492640836765,0.0,0.29897125475194514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15983270584897089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0674136973819831,0.08976565774907035,0.0,0.12524931066636225,0.06513933952537171,0.08157021703598251,0.08982221111418379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946124681443836,0.08983164911763378,0.0,0.0,0.10821211969731127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16067810140537336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07688753666379458,0.0,0.0954136805251626,0.08669508734793607,0.0,0.0,0.08451915448230063,0.17218891571755254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2824432135467087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12700405045791935,0.0,0.0,0.07775772624082299,0.0,0.0,0.0561102485192586,0.0,0.0,0.06705034482063127,0.04924823217936565,0.09707223040364016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057341546531339736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0696868270167614,0.0498156108910249,0.0,0.13549448272280046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12297309246608087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,stormspoop,2020/01/07,"I just found out my mom is on meth Today my dad took my mom to sheriff's office while me and my brother were out of the house. He found baggies before xmas but he didnt wanna ruin the holiday, im not sure what to do or what to think right now. Just need to get this off my chest",-0.03142857142857025,1.5408489523809552,2.178015873015873,98.14892857142858,83.28571428571429,4.834920634920637,16.849206349206348,5.46131890053228,-0.7916222222222218,216,4,54,1,6,73,48,63,0.037000000000000005,0.847,0.11599999999999999,0.7364,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,4,1,1,0,1,14,10,4,0,2,5,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,5,0,7,1,10,5,0,9,0,1,0,0,6,5,0,1,3,34,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978278645556036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5098162571393311,0.0,0.0,0.12146397230385987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682568188812542,0.0,0.0,0.2511240156401516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5445679404795861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17238490205427096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19854117352032347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191146412490512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489671910930994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22036887794177693,0.0,0.2582997194191333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,bostonmade,2020/01/07,"Struggling with my sobriety after a year straight of being clean. Struggling with my sobriety after a year straight of being clean.

Ashamed to be making this post I (21M) just want to let this out somewhere. I just celebrated a year of sobriety after being on drugs for almost 7 years on and off. When I was 13 I started drinking which kind of led me to doing other things very early.

2018 xanax took everything from me, my car, my girlfriend, my friends, my college education, my freedom, my dignity. I felt so low and worthless, even suicidal at times. Basically my parents took me out of school and made me live with them again. I had been doing so good for so long I didn’t even think about xanax or any other drugs.

I’ve been struggling so hard these past few days, I recently reconnected with my ex girlfriend (whyi list because of the pills) who had been helping me but I feel so emotionally drained and in need of a xanax blackout because everything just feels like it moves too fast. I’ve been having crippling anxiety attacks to the point where I can’t move or leave my bed and xanax is al I can think of that would make me feel better. I feel like shit. I don’t want to blame my girlfriend but I don’t know if emotionally in strong enough to be with her again but I feel so alone without her.

Last night I bought a few bars of xanax from my guy and I had enough self control not to take them. Partially because my dad asked if I wanted to get out of the house and clear my head and I to a movie. I did and that seemed to work temporarily but in sitting in my room in the dark empty as I write this. I have xanax at my disposal and there’s really not much keeping me from eating all of it, I know I’m sick, I hate myself and I hate that my brain works this way.

The worst part about all of this is lying to everyone and telling them I’m fine, when I’m really not. I just want to be normal and live a normal life again. Don’t know if I ever can. This sucks. If anyone had any words of strength or encouragement for me I could really really use it. Sorry for rambling. I just wish things could be different. I don’t want to go down this path again but I can’t stop these thoughts.",2.45890348602708,4.306342287640455,3.5238202247191026,90.12145491212908,76.68539325842697,6.811293575338517,23.545087870930573,7.702957570686157,0.9748847594353208,1718,54,370,25,39,553,209,445,0.154,0.727,0.12,-0.9684,2,1,3,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,3,6,25,22,5,4,12,0,36,17,3,6,4,82,75,34,1,16,21,3,7,2,4,1,11,0,4,2,21,21,3,3,13,2,1,7,11,12,0,0,17,7,63,10,59,47,9,55,0,2,0,0,20,20,2,9,27,251,84,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178906289755171,0.08459413127112128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11108814929958816,0.0,0.06248370943908719,0.0,0.0,0.0571113970969747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07635822568161793,0.09292090753443646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14937108079785608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722378575657454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118004432441702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160920781571233,0.13042702258465289,0.0,0.0,0.0526757746664533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533648491561076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800136816480497,0.18944189528663585,0.08357733672232527,0.0,0.18375428632785548,0.0,0.16879112627388965,0.0,0.10789555149849436,0.07388273813526468,0.0,0.07804715774386216,0.1468144575043906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064951239098557,0.11670205025332953,0.07842401891716842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06310448580348901,0.0,0.04267356348313811,0.0,0.04641968505640213,0.06850791957178193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08087440180715348,0.0,0.0,0.07316775277786723,0.1612809091540082,0.08382554493558063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05474727213964238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424584239412452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259946485746853,0.0,0.08505542605945511,0.1346648450281571,0.0665787516555811,0.0,0.08648557265620667,0.0,0.08352164040664638,0.05769182973742493,0.0798078260906584,0.0,0.14424694797377138,0.07228276399026047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07728602379778265,0.10904185745069396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17362230650274468,0.0600429807194083,0.06056345698084591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766495926080843,0.16005486992772186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09069413480313214,0.08844968683259609,0.07797122124878464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07721243565933733,0.0,0.07822527537522134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093009541122964,0.0,0.08064751074793362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266284451836743,0.0,0.07435689656616264,0.08520832596220551,0.0,0.08384164615538321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143221877308258,0.057812352133646785,0.0,0.0,0.06828675272606506,0.0,0.25616381761022977,0.0,0.08934285117919034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06141194953791582,0.0,0.07139047259484227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085269245571454,0.1046723693526715,0.0,0.06484348141304032,0.0476272991062259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18149529058270175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07054386432893885,0.0,0.06739318767835352,0.2408800169136109,0.06483246748985425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09392606441412137,0.07873500871909117,0.0,0.11892561413308075,0.0,0.0,0.05802195196521491,0.0,0.0,0.2103927018950307
addiction,timn1717,2020/01/07,"A part of a story 
I pushed a finger into my leg. It gave, and then the little pocket that formed didn’t fill in like usual. It looked like when you make a little pocket in fresh dough. I had read about this before. It meant organ failure.

The reason I knew this was because I had been habitually doing the push test whenever I felt really off, and as it happens, one tends to feel off quite a lot when indulging in speedballs. So it came to pass that one day, while feeling so off I could barely lift my arms, I failed the push test.

I had just crashed my car, and instead of calling for help, I frantically worked to change my tire, as my car was the only way to Baltimore, the land of heroin and cocaine. This was usually a simple task for me. Loosen the lug nuts, jack the car up, finish loosening the lug nuts, switch to the spare, and tighten. Instead, I managed to loosen exactly one before collapsing next to the car. A passerby offered help, and on second glance decided against it. Can’t say I blame her. I looked like a zombie, as the officer I spoke to later that night informed me. 

I gathered my strength and forged ahead. I may have been about to die, but goddamnit, I was gonna get high first.",3.763842203548084,5.159738222689079,4.4901960784313735,86.42032679738564,72.23529411764707,7.137628384687207,25.827264239028946,7.594959193182576,1.2681925303454706,939,30,189,11,18,301,139,238,0.076,0.862,0.061,-0.5158,0,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,0,6,12,6,0,1,20,0,15,4,3,2,1,24,30,17,1,1,2,0,4,3,0,2,1,2,0,0,12,9,0,0,8,1,0,10,2,2,0,5,16,9,26,4,30,11,3,37,0,1,3,0,11,13,0,2,16,128,38,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907512889238108,0.0,0.2533590502714607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520154585795021,0.1702704699852011,0.0,0.0,0.1574873560280439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11886257045368567,0.0,0.0,0.09601044098710444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15450614205437654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15054880945793142,0.0,0.14294093799086655,0.0,0.0,0.12663086506475055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777973222891281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316474524148096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19957218566794332,0.15729196074591878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21819473825601074,0.2984186930176567,0.0,0.0,0.25003079642655,0.0,0.0,0.1265660683891009,0.0,0.0,0.09937354396955284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15832758343979322,0.13970674820413745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30263955890519034,0.11322423809980325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16121440058055847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583442195953743,0.14891277832984592,0.0,0.09537153003722644,0.15306571575477906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11838938040147334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711070287434978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32792403328237835,0.0,0.0,0.11816805416527015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10838094674335136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,muffinlover22,2020/01/07,"Therapist experience in treating substance use This is a paper I wrote from my experience as a therapist working in the field of substance abuse:

Addicts experience something breathtaking when they can stretch their vision of themselves from the immediate present back to the past that shaped them and forward to a future that’s attainable and satisfying – Marc Lewis
 
How do you convince someone that their ability to make decisions is compromised as a result of something in their brain that is influencing the determination of their decisions before they even make them? This phenomenon becomes more prevalent on a daily basis when working with those who are suffering with substance use disorders. The predicament arises in the fact that because individuals are conscious, they believe they are in complete control over the decisions that they make. These decisions that are made, to the individual, are grounded in reason and rational thinking that is aimed with their best interest in mind. Unfortunately, these decisions have the capacity for self-destruction because due to the troubled history that each person has encountered. Memory has an integral role in decisions. Memory utilizes the past to understand the present to anticipate the future. If an individual’s past has had trauma and many forms of distress, their memory is going to ensure that their decisions are protective in nature. This means that decisions will be geared towards the avoidance of pain, avoidance of discomfort, the avoidance of stress, and ultimately, the avoidance of change. This is troubling because when exploring healthy life changes with someone, a therapist will encourage that individual to identify changes that can be made that will hopefully improve that person’s quality of life. That is where the challenge arises. Ideally, someone can gain insight and harness motivation to change to make positive life adjustments. The thing is, this does not always work out because something stops that individual from drawing power from their insight and turning it into behaviors that are conducive to a new way of life. This leads to frustration, shame, guilt, and eventually depression as someone who has all of the desire to make changes, just cannot put it together to make a difference. One begins to learn that the unconscious mind often has a completely different agenda than the individual. One learns that there is comfort in the chaos because it is familiar, even to the point where the chaos leads to complete isolation, socially, physically, and emotionally.
​When looking at the benefits of using substances/alcohol, it cannot be ignored that the effects of the high, produce such a powerful feeling of safety and security. The high is a safe experience and no matter how much pain an individual encounters, the high is there to shield them from the full impact of the situation. It is impossible to isolate addiction to one singular event in time, however, different forms of trauma are the one trait that all of my clients have experienced. I have learned that addiction always begins with pain and always ends with pain. The high feels like that surge of warmth and protection that comes from the embrace of a loved one or the love that was missing for an individual who never had the opportunity to experience it. It is no surprise that opioids are the endorphins that are released in the human body when a mother is holding and begins to soothe her distressed infant. Unfortunately, the high turns on the user and the individual becomes even more trapped in walls of isolation that are reinforced by bricks of shame, fear, and despair, but this is still a state of being that is desired because life on life’s terms is too overwhelming and unbearable. The frustrating part of addiction is the desperation to get clean when using, but also the desperation to get high when clean. Where does someone turn when stuck in this persistent state of hopeless of always knowing where they want to be, but never being where they are?
​The effects of the environment on the individual are impactful. Fortunately, this is something that can be utilized to foster change. I have heard that the goal of psychotherapy should always be security. This is a challenge in itself because if someone has grown up in a toxic environment with abuse or neglect, the body is going to not allow the individual to feel secure and thus change is ultimately prevented. I have seen and explored this problem through my work and through my own experience. The answer has to be connection. Connection to a person, who provides unconditional positive regard, like Carl Rogers emphasized. This person can be the therapist or another person, who can provide the stability and unwavering support that conveys the message that I am here with you no matter what your emotions and feelings tell you. The therapist/person has to show the individual through their personality and support, that they can be the safety net the person needs. This happens through sending cues of safety that help the other person start to turn off that flight or fight response system or the withdrawal system. This is not an easy process, but through consistent support, it can be accomplished. If an environment caused an individual to make decisions that are protective to adapt to that environment, an environment can also be fostered to illustrate to that person that they don’t always have to protect themselves and that there is so much power in vulnerability. Through trust and support, a person can learn how to tell his or her body “calm down, were not in danger,” and allow themselves to experience the freedoms that connection can offer. Through co-regulation (learning how to manage emotional states with someone else) with someone, a person can eventually learn self-regulation (self-soothe). They can learn that they can manage the pain that is inevitable in life. People will always experience pain in life, that is a reality. The growth starts when people lead that they don’t have to face the pain alone. Through connections with other people, those suffering with substance use disorders can learn that they do not need use drugs to get their needs met because they can get those needs through other people, naturally. Change will always be hard, but through support change doesn’t have to about suffering and can lead to new meaning.",12.859250591016554,11.374435692592595,11.3776280535855,54.41826241134754,53.648148148148145,14.672970843183613,48.16390858944051,13.266506567505006,6.638616627265563,5228,272,742,148,47,1648,401,1080,0.121,0.755,0.124,-0.4445,6,8,7,0,3,1,103.0,0,4,27,26,34,66,4,13,91,0,106,27,5,35,5,163,167,59,0,14,20,1,5,2,0,6,20,1,2,13,86,43,0,18,37,1,0,14,15,38,0,5,11,9,43,28,143,136,14,101,0,9,2,2,68,50,0,11,35,571,129,25,0.0,0.08071486918991344,0.0,0.1485287175982889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036401499172670194,0.0,0.035277552491977913,0.0,0.05447810975200459,0.2267358856741466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03571656490993416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026191273347227158,0.0,0.16610911622198934,0.07523673787128453,0.02898391886943825,0.03837576708786234,0.035745555196623265,0.0,0.0,0.1135043004796956,0.0,0.038024018351419366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034990653172967214,0.3242939749473793,0.029341058478877063,0.1071388409235262,0.0,0.03820298865780253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02933721226730715,0.0,0.0,0.10676138926622147,0.07807510534655739,0.0,0.059615083786193436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039500650368612125,0.0,0.028454102025639562,0.1149441701951106,0.030168473852545875,0.0,0.0,0.0674921107016279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26655030107604216,0.0,0.03832877765579844,0.0688902879063361,0.024333618904002645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07118313543389154,0.0,0.038715992507563995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03012056665093115,0.0,0.030512509562497694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022830777238067784,0.21592774795405573,0.0,0.03383086136883889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.018719368463356027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19246976321772766,0.0332815614024158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028603171312505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06148386048781199,0.06445983238918349,0.15915471053173266,0.03453312339880225,0.0,0.07420615122547382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06878502655682282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050078400765535006,0.10102500022796762,0.052540822423605485,0.06579382473893852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154051323946816,0.0,0.2537076601871545,0.0,0.0,0.03688540118859426,0.0975469743279922,0.09445611837275274,0.3568953778211193,0.0,0.0,0.03219922837526215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032592357855338115,0.0,0.03424132299471205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03502100503120452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066010542357128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03828667348365822,0.0,0.03472151893904806,0.23088231316041424,0.10488915691992023,0.0,0.0,0.04821796161114246,0.0,0.027201643413505203,0.028477028696940538,0.03901745582833484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932635403321365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059542691828585924,0.0,0.0,0.19774075559186735,0.022629018232879574,0.021825302469647458,0.0,0.0,0.01986159700471556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481969898667175,0.0,0.035459334217691874,0.0,0.17650975353421502,0.0,0.0,0.020090418361774384,0.027036518263041317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918902250498532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,carson-ist,2020/01/08,I fucking hate everyone. I hate being angry. I'm almost 10 months sober but I'm on the edge of losing my shit for real. Im so done with everyone. I need to punch someone or take a xanax. For real.,-1.8188039867109609,0.030510906976745744,1.8987375415282381,92.39069767441865,102.72093023255816,4.317607973421929,15.445182724252494,6.1826913282559595,-0.25093754152823866,151,4,33,2,7,55,33,43,0.33299999999999996,0.667,0.0,-0.9376,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,1,5,4,0,2,0,2,3,1,0,0,7,9,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,4,0,6,7,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,1,2,2,1,17,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21555621602730132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22029023402296805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4113887456083426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19900848228293236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42505808555634667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325225069879327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408258170814493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718220017408512,0.0,0.0,0.15961583558764772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4900360616708789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22096582783191826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823928396651777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16185204955623686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,throwitaway73647,2020/01/08,"Not really sure what to do but I know I need help. Hi. I'm 26/F and have been addicted to Xanax/Klonopin for about 9 years. I have time off in March. Plenty. I don't want to be on this anymore. 

I used to have panic disorder, I took what the doctor told me. And I kept taking it for years not knowing. I haven't had a panic attack in years. And then things catch up and you run out once in awhile and someone helps but no more. 9 years of living on a pill.

I want to go somewhere. Money is not an option. If anyone could give me a brief/long rundown of what the withdrawal looks like and inpatient after.

I just want to be done with the thing that conquered my agoraphobia and now is ruining my life.",-0.04462585034013599,2.1757164081632645,1.9637074829932004,95.5295068027211,89.0,5.1714285714285735,17.01020408163265,6.691623216298621,-0.17722040816326556,540,13,123,7,18,179,96,147,0.156,0.747,0.098,-0.7689,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,1,3,6,1,2,7,0,14,4,0,1,1,27,29,11,0,6,7,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,8,9,0,1,2,0,1,4,6,4,0,0,6,1,15,2,21,20,1,21,0,1,1,0,6,8,0,2,10,83,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17281657290545518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15721504340535378,0.11084495837669124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803460368950524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12656998974340836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816843550984765,0.16225792207807774,0.0,0.16222698083770673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15207243780988686,0.09009389227861442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21251306779457185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17424331978902988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119714941496112,0.07744772156538479,0.0,0.13998122753824568,0.1402903863872915,0.1331217860191554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11754490713633768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688248537038279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3719918511267351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015557170987514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13431843602387142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14940873505107255,0.0,0.11919170842210645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106350579177887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924376964209038,0.0,0.0,0.1514782406189066,0.1761280493282727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13691543374424633,0.0,0.0,0.28050795609039925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4083417928774438
addiction,Crsmit8,2020/01/08,"I hate this Sat in a pub on a wednesday night pissed and on coke, sat on my own. I have work in the morning and I just fucking hate it but I just feel like I have nothing else to do and no where to go.",-1.4976595744680845,0.06730136170213008,0.8802553191489402,105.49400000000004,88.57446808510639,3.76,17.910638297872342,3.1291,-1.1911923404255318,152,4,43,0,5,51,32,47,0.209,0.7240000000000001,0.067,-0.705,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,3,5,4,0,3,0,3,3,1,0,0,7,10,4,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,1,6,1,7,8,1,9,0,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,3,30,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767625487836337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16751760124265738,0.2366841302154925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3062858388971932,0.0,0.0,0.18828808506109648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6541895642898736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16185873223009514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31090699980737796,0.0,0.3178957766370062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411937534973036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,waheerose75,2020/01/08,"NEVER GIVE UP Hi. 

I've been on methadone treatment  almost 3 months.But so sad I wasn't strong enough and suddenly I am relapsed again.. Should I go back to the methadone treatment again or find others options to get away from addiction ? 
Hope someone can give me any advice 
Thanks",3.8652830188679235,6.369574773584912,3.2383396226415115,90.72505660377364,74.84905660377359,5.749433962264153,27.581132075471697,6.742157984588678,1.2386407547169815,225,9,42,2,5,66,45,53,0.122,0.772,0.107,-0.2089,0,0,2,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,0,1,8,11,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,4,3,6,8,1,9,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,4,5,25,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28718677721638664,0.0,0.2574289880506599,0.0,0.0,0.2637955372976581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791471682992258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24750907990189286,0.202567894085696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27220232307998754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24077795540145003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376357083530922,0.5054282998882706,0.1497181325574061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616538055152002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20317996018714093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22321052960322524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425387152674368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,doobiecautious,2020/01/08,"Want to give up Spent October In rehab, clean and sober since October 6 2019. For the last few weeks my depression has come back in full force. Feels like I don’t have anyone, all my friends are gone. Haven’t talked to my best friend since August. I just want to feel loved but I feel so alone and I am becoming obsessed with the thought of relapse. I’m trying to get through it one day at a time but it seems to get worse every day. Using/drinking dreams every night so vivid I wake up thinking it’s real. I just can’t take being alone anymore and I miss my dirtbag friends. I know I need to do something to feel better but I just don’t know what it is and don’t have the enthusiasm to even try anymore. The meetings sort of help. I’m terrified of what happens if I relapse but can’t stop thinking about it. Rant over I guess",1.4556258549931618,3.5294241453488366,2.5570451436388524,94.75047195622436,80.80232558139534,5.442407660738714,22.90834473324213,6.522977012572876,0.4129496580027352,651,22,144,6,17,207,102,172,0.152,0.669,0.17800000000000002,0.2291,0,3,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,8,10,0,1,5,0,14,3,1,0,1,32,40,11,0,4,8,0,4,1,3,0,1,0,1,0,7,6,0,1,10,1,1,2,6,3,0,1,3,5,16,7,21,36,4,18,0,2,1,1,8,7,0,4,10,84,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820616797516178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27008769137566785,0.09521308603847332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10470616629133488,0.0,0.0,0.15038883910549353,0.0,0.0,0.14290179774668993,0.1204311170319214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729822019433557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17563650410947232,0.0,0.11728284400155213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13339455769353484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899388646591072,0.0,0.22945784872363026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754061570718715,0.0972797280091849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156133350766598,0.0,0.14228619428059872,0.13062647428733107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500063799593175,0.0,0.1204144990864113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912717425517088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14967071521938302,0.11099655641330458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06652568312425239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289855546774388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10096817681614934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277861272315828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922721764856105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549910368821317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12396386623648073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252821213981555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10483016004047968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11384404502580794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10238273851391563,0.1094481223605956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17450421134163951,0.0,0.10810360608637604,0.07940170190340877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849007033503036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16063294502427405,0.0,0.10922719507503496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13876865335070274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Drive_Thru_Sushi,2020/01/08,"Question about ticks and urges So I’ve got a problem with substances (not any one in particular) but I do tend to get the feeling of need to use and I’d like to know a means to combat them, I get a workout buzz almost daily, but I find it is most difficult to fight these urges in my downtime. Most often when I feel strong emotions come on and I don’t know how to deal with them. How do you guys deal with this situation?",2.391187800963081,3.67380128089888,3.687672552166937,91.26932584269665,75.51685393258427,6.434028892455858,23.950240770465488,6.868970318607317,0.6047611556982342,330,10,75,3,7,108,61,89,0.135,0.763,0.102,-0.4796,0,0,0,0,1,0,7.0,0,1,2,1,6,5,1,0,4,0,4,0,0,3,0,26,16,9,0,2,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,7,0,0,7,1,0,1,2,3,0,1,1,2,9,2,14,15,2,5,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,5,2,48,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22326230374699454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516204933334586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19206035820658812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4597240843764213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508000693217989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254706213439965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037814648614075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329748686391718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17832153589471514,0.0,0.0,0.22076552318788925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450660472976137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10892702813063568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428688793854686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16532206690474766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15108351379046475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21334267572521173,0.0,0.0,0.2497663053851821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506164605173952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925659141616816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Free_Struggle,2020/01/08,"Anxiety at an all time high. Any advice?! My story is kinda long but here it goes anyways...

I got in a car accident 9 years ago and shattered my pelvis and broke my hip. I was in the hospital for a few months and then had to re-learn to walk, do physical therapy, the whole usual ordeal. That accident brings me to where I am now, 9 years later, addicted to opioids. I have basically taken them off and on, mostly on, since that accident. There has been A LOT that has gone in these last 9 years but it would take a book to explain it all, so Ill just talk about the last 3-4 years.

Before the accident, I had never taken any kind of pill other then tylenol/advil so Id say most of my current issues stem from within the past 9 years. Anyways, Ive been prescribed 3-4 10/325 oxycodones/day for the past couple years. I used to take them how they were prescribed and to be honest, I dont even know how/when I got this bad off. But for the past couple years, I would get my prescription and instead of taking 4/day, I would take 6-8/day. I never took two at a time but instead of taking them every 4-6 hours, I would take one every two hours, give or take 30 mins. Meaning I would usually run out almost two weeks early. 

So for the next two weeks I would trade my adderall for someone I knows hydrocodone. The hydrocodone didnt help my like the oxycodone did, but I felt like it helped enough that I wouldnt go into full withdrawals if that makes sense. Also note, I couldnt get an unlimited supply of hydrocodone or anything, I normally got enough of the 10mg hydros to take only 2-3/day, so I definitely had to somewhat control myself during that time. I never bought anything off the street or tried anything else. However, every month I told myself, Im going to take my meds the way Im supposed to take them, I HATED always worrying about pills...if I had them, would I be able to get them, how many could I get, etc. Which brings me back to how it literally CONSUMED me. Always in the back of my mind though was the actual, REAL pain I have in my lower back. Without pain meds, how would that be controlled?? Mind you Ive tried 3-4 different type of injections, physical therapy, non narcotics, etc. because at the end of the day I just dont want to be in this kinda pain but again, at the same time these pain pills have completely changed me as a person. Wheres the balance?! 

For the past couple months, I have been thinking REALLY hard about how I want to end this cycle but Ive never been strong enough to do it, until yesterday. I went to my pain management doctor and did the usual spiel and finally broke down and told him I want to get off the pills. He agreed with me, I could tell for the past few months he wanted me off the narcotics  (which only added to my stress and anxiety..when would the time come that he would just stop prescribing them?? These are things that constantly ran through my head) but I was kind of passed to him from my other doctor who moved away and I guess since I had always complied and also tried several other things to try and help the pain, he never took them away. So he prescribed me like 5 other meds to help with the withdrawals and also called a personal doctor friend who works on the addiction side, as he said, who would be able to help with my dependency (addiction? I loathe that word). So the last pain pill I took was half of a 10mg hydrocodone at 8:30pm Monday night. (I took 3 10mg altogether that day) I went and got the meds he prescribed filled, although my pharmacy was out of two of them and they had to order them, hopefully they will come in today. Anyways, after that I went to work like normal and was actually not to bad off, minus my crying like a baby on and off while I texted my mom and dad about whats going on. I know my mom had some idea of how bad I was but my dad, who lives 3 hours away, had no clue. None of my friends know about this nor does any of the rest of my family including my siblings and step parents. Its mortifying and I dont want anyone else to know about it to be quite honest. 

So back to my main story, sorry I like to ramble. So my pain management doctors, doctor friend who works the “other side” of this, had his office call me within an hour of me leaving my doctors appt. She said the doctor could get me in Thursday morning (tomorrow) and asked the basic questions about insurance and stuff. I do have insurance but of course its one of the only ones that doctor doesnt accept, so my first appt will be $400 bc she said its a longer appt and I asked what all it entails. She said basically he will talk to me and find out what my issues are and most likely prescribe me suboxone, just ONE, that I will have to take and get filled at the pharmacy, bring back to the doctors office and take half in front of him? Then wait around so he can see and make sure I dont have any negative side effects and then Ill be able to leave. She didnt say anything more so I am guessing if the suboxone agrees with me, I will be given a script for it for a month and then have to follow back up with him in a month. Does this sound likely what is to happen?

Aside from everything that happened with the doctors yesterday, here I am I guess about 36 hours after my last dose and I dont feel like Im dying or anything but I dont feel good either. I called into work this morning and Im also thinking about calling into my second job this afternoon, although I really need to be working. I feel tired more then anything, that and my back hurts. Im probably killing my liver with acetaminophen. Last night I was able to work almost my whole shift, I left two hours early because I just couldnt make myself work any longer. Im also having terrible anxiety. Ive had bad anxiety for years and used to be prescribed xanax, however, last year the doctors said there have been new studies done and they werent going to be prescribing pain meds and xanax anymore so I went off the xanax, which I never had an issue with that anyways. I only took it as needed, so not even everyday, it honestly wasnt hard to give up but holy fuck, I wish I had one right now. Im also just so so tired. I even took my adderall and Im still tired as shit. I have no motivation whatsoever, which I didnt have much while on the pills, not now it’s literally non existent. I know Ive read other peoples stories on different subs who sound like they’ve had it way worse than me and Im sure I sound like a big ass baby, Im just so pissed at myself for doing this to myself to begin with and now Im having a pity party.

So I guess my questions are, how much worse will this get before it starts to get better? How long until I feel normal again? What should I expect from taking suboxone? Is there anything I can do now (like right now, today) to feel better, cut down on the anxiety, whatever? Ive read on here about something called Kratom, should I try that? I first read about it on another sub a couple months ago and have been thinking about trying it since then but Im honestly kind of scared since I dont know how itll effect me. I also do not smoke or drink, tried weed in the past, years ago, not my thing.

Im looking forward to getting my LIFE back. The pills have completely changed me as a person. I used to be very social, had lots of friends, always on the go. Now, I dont do anything but work and lay on my couch. Im lazy as fuck, depressed as fuck and honestly probably wouldnt even leave the house if it wasnt for work and my dog. I rarely see my friends and when I do its because I have to force myself. Im just tried of living like this. Any help or advice is very much appreciated!!!! Sorry if my post is all over the place.",4.064908494946735,4.7192476277884055,4.955751251934808,86.14715869980881,70.81007010834927,7.965670581808249,25.459109532914503,8.052868069273773,1.2962564217426933,6004,165,1273,78,105,1957,470,1569,0.183,0.775,0.042,-0.9997,9,0,4,0,0,0,188.0,0,1,14,20,92,63,8,2,69,0,131,50,7,21,12,213,245,125,2,37,39,5,8,13,5,22,39,10,1,3,79,63,1,4,26,5,2,33,35,29,0,16,65,21,178,34,179,140,31,222,0,5,3,4,83,69,6,29,131,850,257,30,0.09061581221005048,0.0,0.04421398061447509,0.07408845802889719,0.0,0.044274361471831086,0.060244087559221934,0.0,0.0453693232507056,0.0,0.0,0.12681450650012574,0.07539961484012868,0.0,0.0,0.09243278947715867,0.023754645010113287,0.06932084831430364,0.0,0.022466634129318742,0.015840170704961194,0.023211652022614108,0.14913818496257852,0.020166821133692576,0.04235677609045396,0.0,0.06385240384610584,0.13935593241850075,0.0756604181703875,0.0414289185432644,0.0,0.03855369101041015,0.0,0.0,0.040071161041959284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11566109465204495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04792975704515892,0.039028749273300925,0.0475044775321322,0.02448087528550243,0.05081666930623962,0.05426201443048317,0.10026467267012686,0.02488430368050063,0.08765955362456612,0.0,0.01951181656896653,0.0,0.023511226670579147,0.04733711858350687,0.0,0.2550600896737276,0.03964925395709886,0.02318285925722452,0.21240211407764995,0.022192249541460898,0.0,0.0,0.03784894176721986,0.0,0.04012935671004498,0.07022276785983325,0.05053029191119556,0.05985088934665951,0.0,0.057260797511175986,0.0,0.02035991226827305,0.0,0.021356130787718336,0.0,0.057272596692394616,0.016183988587188863,0.02175134754465424,0.024816298252550446,0.02070530267903311,0.0385388817873799,0.0,0.0,0.08751193966405492,0.06282964366833513,0.11835755462506675,0.0434634720370781,0.0643738179014794,0.01900106101092494,0.07247374293636025,0.0,0.09982353326637154,0.0,0.040065631737016064,0.0,0.04058698449039375,0.022366088576969492,0.023249491497491826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09110680323758064,0.02393514518830988,0.0,0.02250048693735381,0.13385748279232054,0.02613962024464082,0.024251525282916204,0.025573555547644015,0.3670523510186259,0.07093452391513044,0.02248055284231864,0.0,0.02506324259022194,0.07077181805991974,0.08715014101924347,0.11079597192380584,0.0,0.07196179593003897,0.024613586276127003,0.0,0.016001156997974678,0.14387850315916234,0.0,0.04000771117005699,0.04009607114628961,0.01902361502024033,0.0,0.0,0.03851916154443755,0.0,0.0,0.04536506872014165,0.022967552716717743,0.0,0.024676796108094184,0.12581717436598852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045748069333903726,0.05306407203704179,0.12657518436637544,0.024077566939246297,0.04995978627252856,0.033595238282482516,0.10483275099602367,0.021879329023833254,0.02409273607484116,0.04251840063783355,0.06658819230539642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675452438647858,0.06891740849062751,0.2169486294329031,0.0,0.025154533950220517,0.0,0.12975456922105,0.01570539864791071,0.05934167400525204,0.023668559291753436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02169622489329264,0.0,0.048849585905659784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05075522403905732,0.02409526760154679,0.06798025060181498,0.025785158155254645,0.029025404826120475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038692704255498464,0.10774548527994683,0.036030665460908974,0.022680559019628118,0.0,0.03610453513132689,0.0,0.0,0.0255925187579685,0.0232539572623513,0.07495833625811953,0.0,0.0,0.02309285225745782,0.01919462090653764,0.017440119831832995,0.0,0.05071849147166826,0.01603458456982489,0.0,0.018091476171040698,0.018939719128769888,0.02595002668193541,0.0,0.02593335633434512,0.0,0.0,0.042702165306942375,0.0,0.2214283938911999,0.03641677869423909,0.01980055348129556,0.0,0.051813539254267085,0.0,0.04515083937144724,0.043547215168552415,0.02225739385369158,0.0,0.06604851101592359,0.07811215950823214,0.042946597273156514,0.043293645911012,0.15101625233024574,0.12304437662498273,0.0,0.1327777223050917,0.0,0.0,0.05869722559547785,0.07485038628288772,0.03738376756443088,0.06680944227028296,0.03596330695673135,0.03634326934668471,0.0,0.0,0.08400176575969127,0.0,0.0505846591276531,0.02605092800371496,0.021837602334422283,0.0,0.14843112866557068,0.02300618897387621,0.046172627083729004,0.1770199010232273,0.0,0.0,0.14588403026791985
addiction,agirlhasnoname17,2020/01/08,"What do you do when you get the cravings in the absence of NA meetings or a wide social circle to which you can reach out? In short, what distractions work for you?
 
I am on the opioids for severe chronic pain, but I started overusing about four years ago.",5.837533333333332,6.060960220000005,5.541999999999998,85.01433333333334,66.8,7.466666666666668,32.66666666666667,6.42735559955562,1.823266666666666,201,8,39,1,3,62,40,50,0.11699999999999999,0.862,0.021,-0.5803,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,4,0,1,2,2,0,1,4,0,4,2,0,0,0,3,6,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,6,0,9,6,0,10,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,1,4,30,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3633423067479455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21415034401297744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4361513229353119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4630584598962976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41783072241069175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2901218948474236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29840443473413203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639553965679699
addiction,NoHopeMopeDope,2020/01/08,"Lifelong loop The only times in my life that I've ever been sober for a solid chunk of time were: 1. Childhood 2. Pregnancy 3. While incarcerated and 4. While on supervised probation. I find myself to be a ""dabbler"" where I get fixated on 1-2 drugs at a time, usually for a few months and then I use another drug to get off of the ones before or just switch out of boredom. I'm in my 30s now and I am starting to get sick of it so I have started reaching out to close friends and family... Well! Apparently, that was a bad idea. Now I have all these people SOOO CONCERNED (people who had no idea I had been doing this since I was 12, except for that time I almost ruined my life with Meth). There was never any reason to question me as a mother, I don't get high or drunk around my kids except when they are asleep or sometimes at school, yet now suddenly that I have unleashed the secret, everyone is worried about my kids' welfare. Ugh. Very frustrating. I just spent my day as room-mom in my 3rd grader's class yesterday and have like $200 worth of birthday gifts to wrap in my closet right now... Whatever. Anyway... I guess this turned out to be a vent/rant more than a question, but without suggesting programs like AA or NA, is there a better place to sorta ""check in"" daily so I can try ending this loop? The problem is, I don't feel like I have a problem that requires treatment but I am absolutely a drug addict and I honestly have no idea how hard this might be. I just want to talk about it with someone who won't freak out.",2.6422481389578185,4.326657651612905,4.057419354838712,87.20920595533501,75.70967741935483,6.962779156327544,24.50372208436725,7.748469712250963,1.2059255583126554,1192,39,247,17,26,394,181,310,0.094,0.8109999999999999,0.095,0.3576,1,0,4,0,0,0,45.0,0,0,1,2,22,14,1,0,15,0,29,9,1,3,3,48,42,21,0,3,12,1,2,3,1,2,7,0,1,2,14,14,1,1,9,1,3,0,7,7,2,1,9,2,30,7,42,28,3,44,0,1,0,0,12,20,0,10,27,171,44,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11815354513880626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852998952674643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07370420477326953,0.11364909985158655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964839115775607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904953369730251,0.0,0.0,0.09222601047971676,0.0,0.0,0.09585601848581188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06989811437287616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3770698584199276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09599523094910876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803869260699953,0.0,0.10356466882550923,0.0,0.0,0.10217391332531507,0.0,0.05480173715483834,0.077428887451667,0.0,0.0,0.0990601632070247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837364916617524,0.0,0.226502724634228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11939617172660424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09708994285243494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11451266496764535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3670538835781697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531083363804867,0.15885148129073684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497731050817955,0.0,0.1269369426253696,0.08651033309583303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359170582280705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07344317376535142,0.08243020928885009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502783492142672,0.0,0.11323724084895742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20741592264768505,0.0,0.0,0.24282768790477344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11143584798064544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09255855028751032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10968945396852124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896555961842513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918326241916778,0.0,0.10719362839155176,0.0,0.15342819074576003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711420684949593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25279616076103234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358499063696489,0.11788965807279103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09360817431526207,0.11936864026624552,0.08942738422211108,0.0639271432797386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974493969531046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10447741261413873,0.0,0.0,0.11006826945986248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,vordreten,2020/01/08,"Marijuana Dependance, Everlasting Cravings I've been smoking for years, but currently unable to obtain it, and therefor have no other option then to stop.
It has been around two weeks, and everyday feels the same. I used to listen to music, every time I smoked a joint. I would buy a energi drink, put on my good headset, and just listen to some good tunes. Weed makes music intense. But now that I can't, I just feel below my standart, unable to reach up, and feel normal. I'm so surprised on how hard it is. I've been aggressive, and I even had suicide thought. I can't believe how hard it is.
I smoked maybe four times a day, and would treat it like opium.
I just need to feel that high again, be in my own world, listen to some music. Now I'm stranded in reality, nothing really is of any interest. Of course there's many problems involved in this. Also I don't have girlfriend. I believe love also really stimulates oneself. And I'm lonely. So yeah.. It's just so hard. The fact that weed blurred the consciousness, is just a haunting high. Like someone using Heroin, and tryes to get that same high again.",2.9821627906976738,5.212428181395354,4.079709302325587,84.96002906976747,76.48837209302326,6.718604651162791,24.703488372093023,7.734863291789972,1.4078418604651164,869,30,164,13,20,282,122,215,0.13699999999999998,0.71,0.154,0.7207,1,2,3,0,0,1,38.0,0,0,0,1,19,11,1,0,7,1,17,2,0,8,1,43,34,18,1,5,7,0,7,2,1,2,0,3,0,0,12,9,1,1,6,1,1,1,4,3,0,2,5,10,15,8,20,26,5,26,0,1,0,1,6,12,0,5,15,108,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105069282622588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950356038638342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11716636293359202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2965728761936912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08488159013332143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12893381395362982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08693128897956565,0.0,0.11089236356067078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661965137975778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876405611573869,0.0,0.0,0.2207869247979709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35370691223392764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4171793694321687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286020989070112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11878880038159105,0.0,0.08785486601870847,0.1334382151487168,0.1322262092270259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759177847989177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289559760067378,0.1262893374547018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12593897196844409,0.0,0.13231067957506462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686334744383669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11151801786701886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100370747868793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14396681060988706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10448859740499616,0.1534929825898266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12856994745611272,0.0,0.0,0.22734835572159184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10557461332745173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18699280937516544,0.0,0.0,0.08475654701984517
addiction,Digiornopizzas,2020/01/08,"I replaced drugs/alcohol with food... Eventually, I got to a point in my sobriety where some things weren’t going so well in my life, so I started overeating as a form of comfort. Anyone else here experienced this? I have a significant amount of weight to lose now...",4.5078,6.409990780000001,5.569000000000003,77.39950000000002,71.2,9.0,30.5,9.516144504307137,2.9339999999999997,209,9,39,5,4,69,40,50,0.057999999999999996,0.792,0.151,0.5173,1,0,2,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,5,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,2,2,6,2,9,3,3,8,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,1,2,30,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3126859303811649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20458324655822066,0.2997893909867253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444184324069709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35379669282868553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16628362035906008,0.0,0.23400810976586656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.206662460165796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32732939322565346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765887644988416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070941929609188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19438143429742866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35629146892322466,0.26307035386962124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Psychology_Study19,2020/01/08,"Are you in recovery from alcohol addiction? (UK residents only)  Hello everyone,

Happy new year and hope you had a lovely Christmas.

I  am still looking for inspirational stories of recovery from alcohol addiction. Thank you to everyone who has already taken part; I am nearly there.  This study follows the long-term trajectories of individuals in recovery from alcohol problems.  I chose this topic because I am in recovery myself and extremely passionate about it! that's why I went to uni to study psychology.

If you live in the UK and have been in recovery from alcohol problems for at least six months-- I kindly invite you to take part.  You can complete the study online, it should take less than 15 minutes and **you could win a £50 Amazon UK voucher.**

# Take part:  [https://glos.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/recovery](https://glos.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/recovery)

Thanks for your time!",6.423750000000003,10.06598165277778,6.685277777777783,63.162500000000016,72.75,9.988888888888887,33.30555555555556,9.978442167317967,4.670147222222223,714,35,97,23,16,229,91,144,0.034,0.7509999999999999,0.214,0.9804,0,0,4,0,0,0,42.0,0,8,0,1,3,11,0,0,5,0,11,8,0,0,0,11,22,5,0,6,1,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,6,4,4,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,4,1,15,9,22,16,5,14,0,0,1,2,11,7,0,2,5,72,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721082730029757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5335075524658618,0.0,0.0,0.13772366426922286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607899919304363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308539989063013,0.0,0.0,0.09964536602032116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385100095399401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328555486300139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12395794443166845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12996354426795065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11020369585475748,0.11044708883230332,0.1048034302605957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263994845860804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09961688964966904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205359092400813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09491861571530608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4054497868996313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388400129622661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996681629220091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28150989274122296,0.0,0.0,0.22980442061946355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07277387090422822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156940096584687,0.11261566387988588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036930297449542
addiction,frozen_browsing,2020/01/08,"When does it get better? Been off Adderall for 2 months Hi redditors,
I need some opinions and encouragement bc I have been feeling pretty hopeless and depressive recently.

I had been using Adderall for almost 1.5 years. I was 19 when I started and I’m 21 now. I was also a heavy weed user for a year during that. My dose was initially low but towards the end I started taking high amounts. This is how my usage looks. I took 15mg for 3 months then I took a one month break. After the break I started taking 20-30mg a day for 3.5 months. After that I stopped taking it for 3 months. For the next 2.5 months, I started taking 20mg a day and moved up to 60mg(took for 1-2 weeks). I started feeling restless, hopeless, depressed and getting panic attacks. I haven’t been taking any for 2 months but I still feel brain fog, depression, and anxiety, which I never felt before. Therefore, I feel like this time it is not a break and I’m quitting it for good. After I stopped taking it I started feeling extremely hopeless and depressed for no reason. I was also having panic attacks. I should also mentioned that my apetite was pretty low even 2-3 week after quitting and I have no history of mental illness. I’m wondering how severe does my usage look? In addition, my doctor recently discovered that I’m a bit low on iron(under the normal limit). Does this sound like a withdrawal or if I will heal completely from withdrawal after a certain time?",2.659269558769001,5.191162745519712,4.06457792609072,83.05709677419358,79.25089605734767,6.142182672104808,27.541836608577434,7.372421405659032,1.8352638981584484,1142,50,199,16,29,376,140,279,0.24,0.659,0.10099999999999999,-0.9929,0,0,0,0,0,3,39.0,0,0,0,4,10,21,2,3,13,0,18,5,1,5,2,38,49,21,0,4,5,0,6,2,0,2,4,1,0,0,13,10,0,3,8,0,0,3,5,15,0,1,13,9,28,6,24,34,3,53,0,10,2,0,3,9,0,6,40,126,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07610105412682541,0.0,0.0,0.18232680331920026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051681269861754836,0.0,0.05813828873458269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729174724168056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06466873023781537,0.0,0.0,0.06721408601419804,0.08297017086632978,0.0,0.0,0.08483894108324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07968249374059443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09802489078730398,0.0,0.2618279846269504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07778720910199807,0.1995191776260736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06731170156959136,0.0,0.0,0.0501959853416806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19213444982580727,0.054293011366107605,0.0729700316524505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07941167313489356,0.0,0.0,0.06374354602862728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029609652511918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07425760215246663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12763841755745678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07658814431893246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.424626345134149,0.08077388391978484,0.0,0.05635157996100456,0.058614369697394836,0.0,0.08082477236714312,0.0,0.0744619383577518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051498235338772035,0.0,0.0,0.1783346386866135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15463464669797902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16166652994253225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07813863740172808,0.1500777821188595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08585614753297716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3227508018596049,0.0,0.06069212889593315,0.12707552039961026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3428463853417277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863013069944091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25330983953867153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06563790129661339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219220790407022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08241662706343254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788048565159717
addiction,Sad_gooses,2020/01/08,"The sadness and loneliness are what I turned to this and now it’s made it worse. I was depressed. Addiction impacted a sibling, I got diagnosed with a chronic illness, and I was failing everywhere I turned (to perform at my job, to develop relationships). I tried it to cope and it has ruined me. 

I have worked through the worst. And gotten over the depression. But the addiction has grown roots. It is only a 1-3 times a month thing but that impacts the entirety of it. And that brings the sadness and loneliness. For I use by myself. 

It has severely impacted my career and my relationships with friends and family. I have admitted to my parents and one close friend of my problem and earnest to seek help. I attend a 12 step program every weekend and group therapy three times a week. And yet it creeps back. 

The idea of being in recovery forever is depressing. I want to be able to surmount this and am earnest for change. My friend says I am strong for fighting it, but I only see the weakness...feel the sadness...remain in the loneliness. 

I wish to triumph. I can do it, at least I tell myself all the time. Because I fear the deep pain of failing others, myself, and to be in the sad state.",2.9649249011857712,5.297545460869569,4.2377075098814245,83.3010276679842,77.0,7.83399209486166,29.58498023715415,8.710501217029153,2.6186956521739133,936,44,176,21,22,307,125,230,0.225,0.627,0.147,-0.9545,2,0,0,0,2,0,36.0,0,0,0,6,3,19,1,1,19,0,17,6,0,3,1,30,28,18,0,3,3,1,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,0,17,18,0,0,2,1,0,4,0,14,0,2,5,2,27,5,27,20,3,22,0,9,1,0,12,8,0,0,9,133,44,6,0.1318550072378885,0.0,0.0,0.2874828408386982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10138836164206516,0.0,0.08037758857828636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13948511430764887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34069957357487585,0.13383005682035906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11109353045775193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12430116602875073,0.14837354101669958,0.06666985345915849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30561255453451586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10545649447228336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883796319672907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488482537249342,0.0,0.0,0.13084574912222194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247643959691892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10524540880713604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08934836533880193,0.2005633492371949,0.1403030241703479,0.0,0.14640938154959968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261674345189661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831258648291073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485639402804282,0.0,0.0,0.10507136944326144,0.0,0.0,0.14895862714315364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11524708807061175,0.0,0.1507876920543513,0.0,0.08759860789444887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23065714521087816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895208947245364,0.2868407695127001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138803911734556,0.0,0.0,0.07777149951434552,0.0,0.10576613343480344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15162675108053908,0.0,0.0,0.0959920156547398,0.0,0.1343715170638214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Smeshie,2020/01/08,"Ten and a Half Months Sober But Struggling Hey there! 

So a bit about myself I was struggling since 15 with depression, anxiety and PTSD. I have tried therapy, medication- no luck. I used drinking as a way to cope which helped me while I was drinking but the next day the anxiety would come back ten fold. Anyhow, I quit drinking cold turkey which I'm now realizing is super dangerous to do. I had sweats, headaches, muscle tremors and confusion. Now I occasionally get these episodes and have been prescribed Lorazepam for these episodes which I've lately been taking daily. I'm finding myself in pain a lot more, headaches almost daily, muscle stiffness, anxiety to the max and just not really getting to where I want to be. I've tried losing some weight, taking b12, vit d, and multivitamins and just can't shake these awful headaches and body pains. I've had numerous blood tests done and a CT scan everything came back okay. Waiting two years to see a Neurologist. I'm posting here as a way to reach out to see if there are anyone with similar circumstances that have had positive outcomes? Struggling very much right now and can't even work. Feel like I'm losing myself. 

Thanks in advance",4.579909090909093,7.1135217181818176,4.576363636363637,81.84454545454548,72.72727272727272,7.672727272727273,28.272727272727273,8.548686976883017,2.2757,958,38,169,18,20,296,137,220,0.163,0.716,0.122,-0.8314,0,0,3,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,6,14,16,1,5,10,2,18,11,3,1,0,35,35,17,0,3,6,0,2,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,7,15,4,2,3,3,0,4,4,11,0,4,9,6,12,5,17,24,5,23,0,3,3,0,2,5,0,7,12,101,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11488045816072914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632928015180531,0.0,0.0,0.0802183474447925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17643279882297996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12524992396180312,0.12743354848634042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13121477140996402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09882537972146864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398809710331856,0.0,0.0988124250654817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11740344806241887,0.0,0.3371603029014469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07577474267664347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031073810189612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05800837814326117,0.08195952200963691,0.0,0.0,0.10485651923789292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987809495835695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07689771081410089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12941473246652302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056048812037318735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566957308226711,0.0,0.09753504370650504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557331012463225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157235474750837,0.0,0.08433603332784892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12201127811974735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24415085554979954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987478223232752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13410731871128947,0.0,0.0,0.1220240983659821,0.0,0.0,0.07349573601306696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09797447424521873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828418517352457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09490165816133088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3598062587919144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725177584757616,0.0,0.0,0.10562331348387496,0.13119797038997175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15578141074166774,0.0,0.11206959886130967,0.0,0.0,0.09908551543973496,0.0,0.09466009272045366,0.06766774364308842,0.1821266390655268,0.0,0.13970407316595726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352112467511454,0.0,0.0,0.08149730769617654,0.0,0.0,0.07387910171329994
addiction,mfv33,2020/01/08,"Clash Royale Ever since I got this game in 2016, i’ve been playing it off and on for months at a time. I recently maxed me deck so there’s really no point in playing but i’m still addicted and I spend money occasionally on it. I want to just quit this game for good but the biggest thing that stops me is my own loyalty to my clan in clan wars (which happen every day), and that a lot of my friends play it. If I don’t quit for good I want to play it a lot less. I find myself checking the game way too much and I want to put an end to that. I had the same problem with clash of clans years ago and I quit that cold turkey but now with clash royale I feel I cannot do that. Thanks for reading.",1.0251012145748994,2.4029163684210535,2.6331578947368435,97.00941295546562,79.39473684210526,5.992712550607287,18.92914979757085,6.67199483983844,-0.2491908906882592,536,11,135,5,13,176,91,152,0.096,0.725,0.18,0.8867,0,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,0,3,7,10,1,0,7,0,6,1,0,0,1,23,14,10,1,5,5,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,13,7,0,1,2,8,3,1,3,2,0,0,3,2,18,8,20,11,6,22,0,0,0,0,4,9,0,3,11,87,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17705968154893045,0.0,0.0,0.14397382861283578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10474622540688676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438542110784519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469164524185533,0.1368442378516259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08212346161568504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14844718312104366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12548380609516718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724571600915728,0.12990057614607775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14362577218800796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761640878230911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12964056229244053,0.0,0.11939597722787433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535375842310748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155412167993065,0.0,0.1632750310725804,0.0,0.5182548631302208,0.1624620331344884,0.0,0.10404918131790232,0.0,0.16036826022583786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13435391456780982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970728888750002,0.13578878789425788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14953274696272728,0.0,0.0,0.1079033557110509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947072888683889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28739517595039443,0.12891991235777248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10459191875300353
addiction,qualliamson,2020/01/08,"First Week Without Nicotine I’ve been vaping every dat since I was 16/17 probably... I’m 21 now. Until this week, I don’t remember the last time I even went a day or two without it. 

I lost my vape at a New Years Eve party and because I’m not in the best financial situation, I wasn’t able to afford a new one. 

The first 2-3 days were terrible, I’ve never experienced a worse feeling in my life. But now, I feel much better. No headaches or physical pain, just a huge desire to smoke. I also have a bit more money now. 

I’m extremely tempted to go back to the smoke shop and buy another one. I’m telling myself that now that I’ve gotten the worst part over with, I can have limits. I can treat it more like alcohol (which I consume very responsibly), not bring it everywhere with me. 

Is this a terrible idea? I just crave it so much I don’t know how much longer I can go with out it.",1.7400608108108102,3.348070340540545,3.908564189189189,87.63419763513514,78.02702702702703,7.652027027027027,23.45439189189189,8.472884824447931,1.3782500000000004,683,22,152,14,16,235,113,185,0.114,0.772,0.114,-0.2333,2,0,3,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,6,11,9,0,0,12,0,12,3,0,1,1,24,25,9,0,1,9,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,10,6,1,1,5,1,3,4,9,5,0,5,7,3,17,4,15,18,9,29,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,2,20,99,27,0,0.14260302498103647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523992653555262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114039587556281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495317054794162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10965292385100404,0.0,0.08692948043501539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14965307681011078,0.12612078708382132,0.15568556941963355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18393430771771405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941879530788149,0.0,0.12014919896455825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442087483437867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425961204001611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16208917076944665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609814575037322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07837089313828935,0.11624049833174915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007247338165816,0.06966863484871337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556680472480412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3144888944262398,0.0,0.1099842440630073,0.2754537802847574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193263000644889,0.0,0.1517396728406526,0.0,0.0,0.15442517949112458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15375018000325247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615414285051684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11796269588331262,0.16029177491121466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464132931618148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08315297064959139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13930243437651774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176624302062928,0.0,0.0,0.2287750899158411,0.0,0.0,0.13219443283599255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749284545618113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14532466537293362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09183167266395954
addiction,tablewhore,2020/01/08,I don’t know where else to vent this. I’ve been clean from heroin for 3 years but lately I’ve been just craving the release. I’m honestly dissapointed of how much lust I’m having for it.,2.7814166666666686,3.882594975000005,4.655000000000001,85.4366666666667,74.25,7.333333333333335,23.333333333333336,7.793537801064563,0.9210833333333328,149,4,33,2,3,51,32,40,0.055,0.7909999999999999,0.154,0.5789,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,1,0,4,7,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,5,5,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,18,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4649970090143701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3059119679213573,0.0,0.6279083799590601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40919067752013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3584546070257401
addiction,hgih420,2020/01/08,"Gambling Problem PLEASE HELP Hello, I am just recently getting into gambling, about 5 months now, and have seem to gotten myself into a sticky situation. I am a 54 year old who lives in Nevada with a beautiful wife of 20 years and 2 kids. When I first got into gambling I understood that there was always the risk of becoming addicted, but I did not think it could ever affect me. My first ticket placed was $10 and now I only bet at least $100,000. The first 3 months went well for me as I went up $860k. I was doing so well, especially for my first 3 months, that I thought I could become a gambler full time and finish out my retirement. So I carried this on for a couple weeks making trips to Vegas almost every day and staying overnight in hotels. I would have around a million on bets every day and always being up at the end of the day, then I would go back to my hotel to have sex with these gorgeous women, each a different one every night. Unfortunately though my luck ran out and within the past month I am now down $-5.7 million. I ended up losing all that 860k very quickly and within 3 hours I was down $-300k, so I thought I could win it back. I took all the money out of my wife and I’s 401k ($5.4 million combined) and put it on Saints money line. I have no job now, am in severe debt, and now my wife will be leaving me after finding about the numerous sexual occasions. Now I also do not have a retirement fund. Please help me out and tell me what to do, I want my wife back and to fix this.",5.064483744194356,4.777245160771706,6.135471596998928,81.84789478385137,68.45337620578778,8.711754197927831,27.888710253662023,8.167268648758528,1.6850984637370487,1179,33,245,14,18,395,165,311,0.063,0.8220000000000001,0.115,0.9492,3,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,6,24,8,0,1,15,0,25,2,0,2,3,50,40,22,0,7,4,4,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,11,24,0,0,6,3,9,7,3,3,2,8,14,0,37,5,42,18,5,70,1,1,0,1,11,25,0,5,37,182,48,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10617109883571532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752350833947868,0.0,0.0,0.07788393878827456,0.16207504189607702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669907365135122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22466413090854495,0.0,0.0,0.2151224964915736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332775381103283,0.10776183046931548,0.0,0.18842836076042635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10175337757266914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17251990434788436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08809617781907231,0.246169590529192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890140568036228,0.3313646041063463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050883033461771934,0.0,0.055349827743894096,0.0,0.0778928708567131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13055892467583086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09591099891632522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966460253541409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031235249234606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08599846932642592,0.0,0.0,0.10895616472284816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06500957534973374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31094783028771483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139531520608626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219598498436712,0.0,0.06599499364567707,0.07407061622377678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09297119659165097,0.0,0.0,0.10175337757266914,0.2138132182217159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319050223020224,0.0,0.09790534643326393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616234626426727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08866155406929091,0.0,0.1100246614977749,0.0,0.0,0.10947211449083613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380636921934648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512445433178861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06240453383274931,0.095686643731094,0.15463592750210536,0.056789760599053225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10820552808441618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08035817831543714,0.05744402370207743,0.0,0.07812157813396972,0.0,0.17513329021544172,0.1805657725667923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13836823936814788,0.0,0.0,0.12543385197802331
addiction,JohnBray-MorrisMD,2020/01/08,"Understanding Your Loved One's Addiction: 7 Insights - Video  ""Understanding Your Loved One's Addiction: 7 Insights"", is Dr. John's latest topic in the ""Shooting Up in the Dark"" series. It is for anyone interested in addiction, but particularly those who want to better understand the experience a person addicted to opioids goes through. 

Web link:   
https://youtu.be/vHNQXpmCkNY

Feedback welcome.

John Bray-Morris M.D.",9.072395833333333,12.845842281250004,8.666875000000001,51.92395833333336,63.6875,11.141666666666666,38.79166666666666,10.864195022040775,5.838310416666666,342,18,40,11,6,109,47,64,0.0,0.7559999999999999,0.244,0.9376,0,0,1,1,0,0,22.0,0,2,0,1,0,5,0,0,4,0,2,7,0,0,0,8,8,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,5,8,8,0,5,0,0,0,2,7,4,0,0,1,22,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7149294047582292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11463935255221848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14500260266851545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.160376938520589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.295946942056516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221968221179198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14315693969965065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5120407914772761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670339226636282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,MentalIceAge,2020/01/08,"Caffeine withdrawal Ok I know it’s stupid and it’s not a serious addiction but I haven’t had any caffeine in 2 days, from 1-2 energy drink, 1-3 cup of black coffee, tea, and a few diet cokes every day. And now I only get like 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night, I’m hot and  cold all the time, real hungry my head hurts and can’t stop fidgeting. When will it stop?",-1.239374999999999,0.7127738125000036,1.9850000000000032,95.08,92.125,5.7,15.5,7.1686216300943375,-0.0939000000000001,275,6,67,5,10,98,61,80,0.156,0.718,0.126,-0.6473,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,4,1,4,7,2,0,1,13,7,8,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,5,4,2,1,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,3,4,2,4,5,2,10,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,10,31,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737472297399133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17076357593132546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3238906653395705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24599243911793736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115712097189111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13119473758557082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577115542538762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472930066925116,0.0,0.26881870833010496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380036222539484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12267978048489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23564995204190134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19098065498749675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28581843115104555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512915914526199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4198788136363089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14642440185759953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,jesuschrist20,2020/01/08,"Craving drugs Sometimes I search my floor for anything when I have no money, just crumbs of weed and sometimes I smoke what could be weed and just ends up being fucking dirt and shit. I look for tabs of LSD on the floor and often cravings for stimulants come back. What can I do",2.9956363636363648,5.135753654545457,2.860000000000003,94.15000000000002,76.0909090909091,5.127272727272729,23.72727272727273,5.6839178017228535,0.2912909090909088,221,7,45,1,5,66,40,55,0.157,0.843,0.0,-0.8297,0,0,2,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,2,0,1,0,6,3,1,1,0,10,9,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,0,0,1,6,0,7,6,0,8,0,0,1,1,0,4,2,1,3,32,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447645169092486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287099543648791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25621481081719405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23747847455579424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3449313755547042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634400468660029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27497482524088224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24977136158469415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3053138197692772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5883436959941908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,FRZTBITE,2020/01/09,"Day 1 clean from meth.. Addiction steals the most beautiful souls..

I didn’t realize till today I haven’t been sober yet In 2020 and it broke me that 2017 was 3 years ago and mid January of 2017 was the start of my longest clean time (3 months) in my 10 year battle with addiction..

I’m 27 years old and I’ve been an addict since December 2010. I really should try to change things in my life this time around because something else might work, I need help and support to stay clean more than 2-3 weeks, rehab isn’t an option I don’t have health insurance and will never go to state facilities and get treated like a caged animal, sleeping is so hard sometimes when you don’t feel safe to come off meth and actually get rest at home. 

Please reddit give me some hope..",3.5208225108225117,5.031289155844156,4.126688311688317,88.333841991342,73.02597402597402,7.990476190476191,23.222943722943725,8.59863814320734,1.2612528138528134,606,16,129,11,12,192,112,154,0.066,0.777,0.158,0.9303,0,0,3,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,1,4,8,1,0,5,0,14,7,1,0,1,21,25,10,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,3,6,0,4,0,4,10,0,1,2,0,0,2,6,3,0,0,5,2,11,5,16,17,4,27,1,1,0,0,3,7,0,5,17,65,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.14687080074472636,0.4922167606453304,0.0,0.0,0.1334132666785429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13398102261850658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09174622077864113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592139341196989,0.12964640546203662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09706303040227596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12572729954271944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07609965915792609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572649065330271,0.14437774777378454,0.08553524519427827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13482257939847994,0.0,0.0,0.15997937551816702,0.0,0.0,0.1008800757801855,0.0,0.15096840749454582,0.14948504919520886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10630586563224888,0.07352895613996957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15966162013889734,0.0,0.0,0.120131353566961,0.0,0.0,0.11159727034716964,0.11607844298022613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792928342894294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16520887951986168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964171148923088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244989787813654,0.0,0.1506133148692633,0.0,0.0,0.11586581118401768,0.14885291977972046,0.0,0.10652794625816682,0.16041790202109665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17079086174731464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09998858340914243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755209110980562,0.0,0.1426607838314551,0.0,0.0,0.10218275911200407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12072572965487155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10956915748559387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29076012668675205
addiction,worriedgirlfriend98,2020/01/09,"I’m worried my boyfriend is going downhill. Hello! As you can tell by my username, I’m a worried girlfriend dating someone who wants to become sober. 

Before I continue I guess I should give some information about my boyfriend: 

He’s 21, in college, and he struggles from depression. He used to get high a lot behind my back, had a fake med card that he willingly gave me to destroy. He went through THC withdrawal and was seriously tired and sick because of it. That’s gotten better. My main concern is that he’s resorted to other outlets to escape his problems. He sleeps a lot mainly but lately he’s been getting drunk by noon and he’s stolen adderall from his friend twice. He can’t control himself if it’s in his presence; although I will be moving in by March, I can’t baby him and be controlling. 

He just started therapy and has been on his antidepressants for some time now, yet he still feels like he can never get better. He wants to sober up, he always feels guilty when he gets drunk or sleeps a lot which creates this loop of escaping his problems in the way he does and feeling guilty. I’ve tried being there for him whenever I can, and some days he feels better than others. I try to remind him that it takes time to get better and that no addict really knows when or how to start getting better, that it’s gonna be trial and error until he finds something that works for him. 

How do I help him on his bad days? What can I do to keep the motivation going and how can I provide support without coming off as controlling?",5.100364238410594,5.934404831125832,5.654629139072847,81.41644701986756,68.56953642384107,8.026754966887419,30.000662251655626,8.07648339933343,2.0530312582781454,1217,45,230,15,20,393,168,302,0.155,0.716,0.129,-0.7847,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,0,10,12,16,1,1,7,0,23,7,2,8,1,47,53,24,0,6,6,0,4,1,2,4,3,0,0,0,17,12,2,4,8,2,0,5,5,8,0,1,7,4,29,8,36,38,8,34,0,1,0,0,41,9,0,10,20,150,46,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10690950513565584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08160112645514725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07540888032165992,0.08188338049023082,0.059781851284288666,0.10830932285559236,0.08344935506961756,0.0,0.0,0.43366957328928296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447761733503915,0.0,0.0,0.3299776106453741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264925704724422,0.0,0.08446654347451614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582069796684255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19834619749801424,0.07006039497957756,0.0,0.0,0.0896331380889052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0757677382835774,0.0,0.3074215103839037,0.09407656220519,0.11146955731521406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10803387760720397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06573347257964454,0.10361510802806377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08716808611638065,0.0,0.0,0.05389606673322414,0.0,0.11062591692170763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0479114789006326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501238484147564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10893236712083784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423165098164612,0.0,0.0,0.07563673093738127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876772603096141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06282540659259568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962793173284407,0.0,0.08309340524744345,0.07549818002693111,0.0,0.0,0.13882725166831114,0.0,0.07831789793216166,0.0,0.0,0.10252283887210248,0.0,0.0,0.11128735125044456,0.0,0.0,0.07373555874558453,0.0,0.08571648393350588,0.0,0.11215025906275487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436945212014282,0.1127156987778764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13316460246990888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0846999857764741,0.0,0.0,0.11568707895719887,0.07784247611725606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909107921140745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945348568873602,0.0,0.07139527952821682,0.19918732366883612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Aand732,2020/01/09,"Advice on Helping Cocaine/ Alcohol Addict My best friend of a decade relapsed after being off cocaine for months. I am trying to help them get clean, and healthy without enabling them but I am having a hard time figuring out where to draw the line. 

Little bit of background: I have known them since we were kids. They have always struggled with extreme anxiety and chronic depression. Their substance abuse issues have developed as unhealthy coping mechanisms. I have tried to encourage them to seek treatment but they have been unwilling until now to do anything but self medicate. They know they are an alcoholic but have continued to drink. They constantly have smoked weed since college. That progressed to cocaine abuse. 

They finally saw the damage that cocaine had done to themselves and their relationships (including our friendship) and managed to make it nearly a year without using again. However, they continued to smoke and drink. I hoped it would last but everything I read said that most addicts need to quit all substances or risk relapse. 

I wasn't able to visit or see them for a few months. I was struggling too and we fell out of contact for a while. I talked to them right after Christmas and they said they were really depressed again. Their anxiety had flared up too and they weren't able to do everyday tasks. They sounded serious when they said that they needed and wanted professional help. I agreed to come help them sort out some of the everyday stuff (cleaning, shopping, etc.) and help them find a therapist. They admitted that they probably would have killed themselves if I hadn't. 

I suspected that they were using again. When I saw them, they were so underweight that it looked like they had starved. They barely eat, or sleep. 

Present Day: They admitted they are using again. They said they want to stop but are afraid that they won't be able to keep their life together if they do. I hate the idea of  them continuing to use. I don't want to be around it. They also admitted that they live with people who also use. 

I don't want to make them feel bad about struggling or feel like they can't confide in people.  I think if I tried to get them to stop right now that they will clam up and won't get any help at all. It seems like they are wavering between wanting help and being able to still use. I also realize that they may have to solve one problem at a time and seeking help for their mental health issues may help them recover from substance abuse. 

How should I handle this? What boundaries can I put in place to make sure they aren't taking advantage of me and that I am not enabling them while still helping my friend? I want to help them feel less anxious by taking care of the everyday stuff so they can focus on finding the energy for therapy but I am afraid that if things get better they will dismiss how serious their mental health and addiction issues are.",5.658308550185873,7.420464078066921,5.162191449814127,82.00815706319705,68.07063197026022,8.502676579925653,29.992750929368032,8.982922981607832,2.513709888475837,2326,89,414,42,40,707,245,538,0.15,0.696,0.154,-0.8852,1,0,10,0,3,0,48.0,3,0,55,7,22,27,2,6,14,0,54,14,1,11,3,93,99,43,1,17,18,0,4,3,2,9,10,5,2,2,24,24,5,3,16,4,1,4,12,15,0,1,19,13,85,12,64,67,9,56,0,3,4,0,86,19,0,15,36,303,109,4,0.2323258977267151,0.20645114894566735,0.0,0.1899521408344501,0.0,0.05675654460491271,0.0,0.12414286492633266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13934320235626435,0.04832843953706392,0.0,0.0,0.03949739431216612,0.0,0.08886433792849557,0.06561553387338462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04779610459492322,0.0517048262318567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04849560508564401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06095292407383637,0.05136834419386472,0.0634099271094023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05921793411045026,0.0,0.0,0.050032047337676605,0.0,0.06276544003883333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03745774604793835,0.0,0.10005097764077348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059437513800813226,0.0,0.11379546618958268,0.0,0.059431848399595234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06477619713571038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0521998841041019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08810321587709527,0.04149341693921865,0.0,0.0636254162398627,0.10617083079185144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08974720613717649,0.0,0.121380692664398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0520295927265614,0.057343431356490525,0.0,0.12347578261736925,0.0,0.0,0.4282386680728026,0.0,0.0,0.05768800940493207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655669149319994,0.0,0.1818659077976237,0.0,0.051625483157424636,0.0642585459722881,0.0,0.03192005938586996,0.04734415369294515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04102466306435931,0.08512702379617013,0.058212895931362474,0.05128700602511237,0.0,0.04877381032947975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11630950557955785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05851097500889672,0.11706493063710667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092720157523555,0.0,0.0,0.08613335468679911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0393575102352785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053276246255611,0.0,0.060682778769428826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06262165301130494,0.05557612695665711,0.0,0.05838792401471924,0.0,0.061776797448093786,0.05809719210352862,0.0,0.037208479782085115,0.0,0.0,0.06235776715460774,0.0,0.09920252362573803,0.22099513083336086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046283415288203435,0.05287519293497789,0.060591644931135585,0.0,0.0,0.09609119169456096,0.0,0.0581234201778925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276788101607557,0.0971174266822996,0.0,0.18215810374830968,0.1329787847065233,0.0,0.0,0.054741102285841614,0.0,0.08734008088788646,0.04668368906103467,0.0,0.0,0.06642122786331361,0.06743706844442979,0.03858675078977275,0.03721626358867143,0.0,0.0,0.06773554963991305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11830052571299148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30098247310140874,0.0,0.0,0.20554775075350165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119769374197797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251882599470585,0.0,0.0,0.03740256525806058
addiction,b33fy5layer,2020/01/09,"Coping with a NSSI addiction (non suicidal self Injury) 
I like to burn myself. To heat metal and hold it to my flesh. When I was 14-16 I would cut but I would also do this, and now as an adult in my late 20s I've started up again in the past year or so thinking it was a  easier way to deal with my depression than drinking but I think I made a big mistake.
 Well it worked and now the urges to burn myself are strong and come very easily. I try to do other things and distract myself from the urges but then I end up wasting hours at a time doing nothing and I get mad that all I needed to do was grab my needles and a torch.",1.5576969696969698,2.8251808370370384,3.443771043771044,92.23151515151515,77.66666666666666,6.390572390572393,20.420875420875426,6.980632752743323,0.23759259259259305,483,11,112,5,11,163,87,135,0.13,0.7340000000000001,0.135,0.1856,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,7,8,2,1,9,0,10,3,1,1,1,23,17,16,1,4,4,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,2,7,10,1,1,2,1,0,1,0,5,1,0,4,1,17,3,17,11,1,20,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,1,13,80,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277936313487315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16710258662553526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17999768304997182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21542516842808607,0.17997408781493274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046980020373025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18507360252600336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917124427836247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205780244991535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23571224377947614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208568216843496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977198690394112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15493873529007218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200499576200308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994728011171789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179873956822461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479006181328857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22856469988644865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13882153755789725,0.26778201469654145,0.0,0.0,0.12184432422895615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418678737930757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17241115000012225,0.0,0.16586009153654552,0.0,0.0,0.1878771557689038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15212295636626408,0.0,0.0,0.2968736695263248,0.0,0.0,0.13456125513189754
addiction,screaminpanda99,2020/01/09,"Diseased - A poem by Me Have you ever been sick? Sick isn't really isn't the right word. Poisoned, tormented by a darkness that consumes your entire being. 

Every waking moment is spent fighting yourself. Your very conscience seems to leave, as if it wants to escape the corrupted essence of your mind. 

The world fights against you, Normalizing the infedility of your heart. Rationalizing the cause of your moral ambiguity. 

Everyone else does it, so it's okay right? It is an invisible burden, making the struggle worsen. Admitting your addiction would admit that your are less than a man, especially to a society that sees no wrong, no reason why it would cause inner turmoil. 

This disease will rot your mind, blind your eyes. You will find yourself looking outside and being disgusted by what you see, unrecognizable. The empty promise of ""one more time"" will be your daily routine. 

Like a preparation to justify why you can't stop yourself. Your hands will move of their own accord, like a waking dream. Your inner mind yells ""stop"" but only a sinister laugh echos back. 

The constant urge consumes you. At work, at play. ""Scratch me"" whispers the itch and you are powerless to resist. It promises to leave only to return moments later. 

You watch as the seconds tick by. Pacing back and forth, back and forth, searching for a reason to trick yourself into thinking it's okay. These excuses bind you. 

Little by little the chains grow, wishing there was a way to end it. Slowly the humanity in your soul dies. your compassion, your empathy consumed by the sickness. 

The man becomes a walking corpse, the only purpose to feed. Your mind trapped by the dark cloud of denial and  the lies you told yourself. No longer alive, a Disease.",4.179982755317114,7.257266374592834,4.459157884652232,79.17503305230889,77.43648208469054,6.608507376892124,28.247652807051157,7.827709963407826,2.2549782333780413,1375,59,218,23,34,430,180,307,0.172,0.7240000000000001,0.105,-0.9596,1,1,0,0,3,0,53.0,0,26,1,1,6,17,5,2,29,2,19,13,6,5,1,32,31,10,1,6,2,0,2,2,0,6,7,2,0,3,14,6,1,2,7,2,1,3,6,9,0,2,4,10,29,8,32,18,3,28,2,0,6,0,36,11,0,3,15,144,43,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019688554379092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25434349954684354,0.0,0.0,0.12177068134475252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22652952789418426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11914912428960248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11442981658555346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09648702982695312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09210594421685224,0.0,0.09765536678213614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09973416794479337,0.09289664959571108,0.10535571006842252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077330379681823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13065559871938387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334934206770745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10773243292719058,0.2210138435512361,0.0,0.0,0.09258848158204833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07359769818011748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4453143390916774,0.0,0.0,0.11718621096584712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10802888252820628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471329565842498,0.2515672573244318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063374015126597,0.2267260258584612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883185047378342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17572181115306468,0.100374233510488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184360315729426,0.0,0.1152650170244287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07064851633602348,0.0,0.0,0.06429200064459989,0.0,0.0,0.10535571006842252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09097393610321172,0.06503269550574482,0.08751722478220138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19898038251355407,0.0,0.1267906160370122,0.0,0.0,0.08026873037089746,0.0,0.0,0.15664744561007052,0.12054920347540735,0.0,0.0
addiction,JxxMxx,2020/01/09,"Food Addiction/Binge Eating Hi Friends,

I'm not overweight. That's, I think, why it's so hard for me to ask for help. I look pretty normal. I'm tall, well proportioned. It's my metabolism I have to thank for that, because I have a serious food issue. I think I've always been like this, but I binge eat to the point of making myself sick. I do it most days, and I've tried everything in my individual, personal power to stop. Read books, listen to podcasts, tried buddy systems with friends. I can't afford a therapist or doctor. Honestly, I'm backpacking through Europe right now, and can't even *say* the word therapist in most languages here. 

I realised it was time to start asking for help when, for the 100th year in a row, my resolution was to get my food addiction, or my binge eating problem, under control.

On Good Friday in 2019 my Uncle, the man who raised me for some of my teens, died unexpectedly from a heart attack. My own father is a type 2 diabetic. It's his family that has the bad health, and it's in me. I don't want to put this off until it's too late. I don't want to leave behind my nephews, my family, the people I love and who love me because I couldn't ask for help.

I'll take any advice. Are there free online services? Support groups or people who have expertise in figure out how to deal with this? I have no money, but I don't want that to be an excuse. 

I'd love to find people who all want to be in this together. I love community. I love helping people.",2.6546026490066232,4.276366884105961,4.515901986754969,84.20161456953646,75.52317880794702,7.481006622516558,23.33827814569536,8.238735603445708,1.3094117615894043,1157,34,238,20,25,394,163,302,0.106,0.6709999999999999,0.223,0.9919,2,0,0,0,0,0,48.0,0,0,0,2,9,18,1,0,12,0,19,18,1,3,1,33,44,13,1,7,6,2,1,1,2,0,6,2,0,2,19,7,7,2,4,2,2,1,8,4,1,0,3,4,33,15,39,38,5,25,0,0,1,5,29,14,0,6,10,147,52,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982160652554933,0.0,0.08803908917432066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496565951428709,0.0,0.0,0.06126720088772124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252677974118504,0.10249525164432267,0.0,0.0,0.07522496181573557,0.10984127556070128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10104839757972378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05810335825655701,0.09288324820467532,0.0,0.0,0.093503640149197,0.0,0.0,0.09221531474160012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765668261238955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05950642323441995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097093090357801,0.0,0.16986574083374392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08234454109972762,0.0,0.3268270884440069,0.0,0.13921323680393866,0.0,0.047070543581844336,0.0,0.0,0.07556680883187193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070677990782467,0.0,0.0,0.09576600824091272,0.0,0.10676215737007044,0.24155319114649426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403502266167364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163027376793557,0.09539683552612878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04401551510523559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565650563929488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40656803286775,0.0,0.06013863249791936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827326704736256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2498401234694497,0.07866685151142969,0.0,0.0,0.08516821706720808,0.0,0.0,0.09165827376909956,0.0,0.08620805990146528,0.0,0.09056963711970556,0.0,0.0,0.09011866229674363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07694002413818575,0.0,0.07164658877217883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06376919616171782,0.0,0.0,0.07532285349277099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10223792298594493,0.0,0.0,0.06773968731982535,0.0,0.0,0.08294670986102375,0.0,0.2092128096860928,0.0,0.11545755548108058,0.0,0.0,0.052534700064384765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233620639540678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125597659751612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100557896092335,0.0,0.08129607578889465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05801776343195
addiction,captain-melonhead,2020/01/09,"Small flow i found in my notes A voice you never hear cuz its hiding in my temple.. Scribbling away 

And it isnt that simple to say. Im in a haze and i dont know what im doing but im going anyway

Spark it up and space out, Blow a couple clouds sitting in the car on a night out 

Its the same shit but a different day and we're old now, shit man i dont know how

Theyre telling me im crazy cuz i stay living in the past, Giving me advice that doesnt last, what a drag.. 

So i take another puff and i pass.. because they just dont understand..",-1.771371951219514,0.09335846341463673,1.1268241869918718,100.67608993902444,94.4471544715447,4.050609756097561,13.378556910569106,5.602791699666715,-1.1976174796747965,413,7,106,3,16,143,78,123,0.127,0.825,0.048,-0.8765,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,1,0,5,2,2,0,9,0,6,2,2,3,1,19,14,11,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,8,7,0,0,4,0,0,4,6,2,0,0,1,3,12,0,11,13,1,25,0,0,0,0,7,12,2,0,7,62,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131378762008645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14097801750880667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263161415877932,0.0,0.0,0.08195683835416462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487615871883798,0.0,0.08670634087520528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14046711979153806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4727080052858842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474127481377254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289725466162103,0.07640857797167493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515300520305404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5808976194931931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14777565880904722,0.10959117303254157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11871799817295348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10369279635710367,0.0,0.0,0.12616816262703578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14107812445597978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12834361394515334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069166006067324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760131159766945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143301205798746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10108641902587057,0.0,0.11751144983146335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399626938592289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,nomorecones,2020/01/09,"7 years of smoking cones daily Throwaway for obvious reasons

I'm 24 and started smoking weed daily from 17. I was doing it with friends who i grew apart from at about 19/20.
Before I started smoking I was a happy outgoing cunt who loved life.

For the last 3 years I've said I wanted to stop everytime I smoked I just couldn't stick to it.
There were 2 or 3 month periods where I did, but it never lasted as I'd see an old friend and have a cone thinking I could keep my discipline. I was wrong everytime and it became a daily thing I did alone again.
I'm now this extremely critical self conscious asshole who dislikes himself a lot.
End of 2018 I quit for 5 months and began running 5-7kms a day, I was also powerlifting and hit a 230kg squat. 

I felt like I had beat the addiction. So in March 2019 I thought I'd try and pick up a cool hobby like skydiving, I jumped a few times and thought I'd go for a solo license, unfortunately the dude who was directing my landing was new and I shattered my ankle upon landing. This put me in hospital for 3 weeks on morphine, tramadol and endones in 2 hour cycles. I then got back into my old habits quick smart as I couldn't quite do anything else with my life being a fucking cripple.
In August I had suicidal thoughts and tendencies, these lasted till November (this was during therapy where I really opened up for the first time about my childhood and teenage years which really hurt).

I stopped therapy in November when I was advised I should visit a mental hospital as I needed more help then what I had. This for me was a wake up as I never thought I would need to do this and knew I'd look down upon myself for it, so I snapped out of my fuck... temporarily. Christmas it all came back, the self hatrid, the depression. And marijuana masked it every fucking time. I was playing games online and made some friends interstate who were bushdoofers who said something that I haven't heard anyone ever say or read anywhere. And I want to share it with anyone struggling as it helps me realize what's real and what's not.

Drugs hug you in the process addiction.

I guess it's been said before in different terms but to use the term hug, makes sense. It made me feel like everything was cool and going to get better on its own but it doesn't, for me I realized it basically made me feel like I put my life on hold (I have worked full time from 17 in mostly corporate gigs).

Fast track to January 2020, I quit  can't run, I can't do the physical things I used to do to escape this addiction (or what I used to call a bad habit). But I'm trying, I'm walking everyday, but it's just not stimulating enough, I've thought about cycling but I currently can't come up with $ for a road bike but hopefully will soon.

I'm just struggling to replace the ""hobby"" of smoking weed anytime I'm not at work. Any tips? The reason I feel like this time I will quit if I can keep distracting myself early on during this first week is the anxiety that came with smoking for the first time the last 3 months.

I've also been having super fucked up horror themed dreams and am tossing and turning most nights. Is this normal?

Thank you for listening to my shit.",4.568367705133831,5.4223605786163525,5.4478689483691705,82.34791355857836,69.7861635220126,8.683574667251719,29.570571888255078,8.907891778443368,2.282878864999269,2512,94,500,44,43,823,309,636,0.125,0.7559999999999999,0.12,-0.8538,3,1,3,0,0,0,60.0,0,2,0,12,21,34,6,3,29,2,45,16,2,11,5,100,102,43,1,12,17,0,4,5,3,4,7,6,0,2,40,30,0,6,16,5,0,13,12,13,0,3,38,14,65,21,69,55,12,101,0,2,2,7,28,32,6,10,61,316,105,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20650838542753716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06539799642568671,0.0,0.1009922450728387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04293999052692395,0.0,0.048304880553292635,0.0,0.0,0.08830331104751163,0.0,0.05196201709685172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09710746238054058,0.05272248610925636,0.0,0.0,0.10746154927028737,0.0,0.0,0.055845613400094495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0644769416150066,0.1444395096996523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054392844797376785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05041523465420316,0.0,0.0,0.0407225663482049,0.0,0.054385714639167575,0.0,0.0,0.06597189487773562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732268314874233,0.0,0.05274859311716865,0.0,0.05592671843166748,0.06524448745368124,0.0,0.0,0.05711723699844246,0.05320142595721624,0.0,0.05674963039894108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957822995930825,0.13532995996277214,0.06062800848909276,0.0,0.0,0.1611304067967725,0.0,0.0,0.1463543702740363,0.233501926681116,0.0329900610149571,0.0,0.0717722222992184,0.0,0.050501913651113776,0.0,0.06956008139105171,0.0,0.0,0.06721781380108642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464799753612916,0.0,0.0,0.0627161011632069,0.062183983363181886,0.0,0.0675968087819666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122503292347496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205882696464774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13380112845655914,0.15424450393287678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05302493974557554,0.0,0.0,0.05368265226590167,0.056989799523843164,0.17924474306204202,0.04214901729385774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363415992538031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15120248139343653,0.0,0.0,0.09364074513553647,0.09740087603421327,0.060984734075412536,0.0,0.059256235723353125,0.0618675767110822,0.0,0.0,0.13251771959118194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12695404077866124,0.0,0.26864507326628945,0.06316094826027491,0.07187153735280123,0.0809031480272529,0.12984481065547182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18019281378691807,0.05021453238579971,0.0,0.0,0.05031748166275805,0.0,0.13174563561284275,0.0,0.06481626553998614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04861122884660218,0.0,0.0,0.08938709911398941,0.0,0.0,0.10558218977125416,0.0,0.13202334627503148,0.0,0.06906913487120328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058134383227318086,0.14442101535588248,0.0,0.08389995047684698,0.0404600362574504,0.0,0.2506458605318618,0.2209181575538477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08574107299834838,0.06868238815465602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636080654029839,0.0,0.0,0.07448777000687028,0.0,0.10130039244459192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09193896516380318,0.0,0.0,0.0448555869091106,0.06903789911487161,0.0,0.12198772798810205
addiction,Schem3,2020/01/09,"Advice Hello everyone on this thread I am 16M and I've been addicted to vaping for about a year now. This whole vaping thing started by the influences around me and the first time I smoked weed (The 1 and only time). The first time I vaped I got hit hard and I felt like this was a good escape from reality and now its been 1 year I feel like I should quit not with a sudden change in mind but I feel like my life has gotten shitter due to my addiction. My grades are dropping and I've experimented with other drugs (thankfully not heroin, lsd or cocaine). I've been told by one of my ex good friends to change my ways (ex because we got into a fight, normal high school stuff). I've considered it ever since she told me that I should stop. I would like advice and hope that me being 16 yo is not against the community guidelines. Thanks to everyone who comments.",3.1641133004926125,4.763546051724142,4.3123152709359625,86.28206896551725,74.11494252873563,7.730049261083742,23.34811165845649,8.418075326091056,1.2851835796387523,679,19,142,12,14,222,107,174,0.040999999999999995,0.777,0.18100000000000002,0.9751,0,0,3,0,1,0,16.0,1,0,0,3,5,11,1,0,9,0,12,4,0,1,1,29,25,9,0,5,5,2,4,4,1,3,4,0,0,0,11,12,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,1,0,3,10,4,20,10,17,10,1,21,0,0,0,0,11,5,0,2,18,88,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27251518381677875,0.0,0.24427763937590524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11126763428059436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07619276775705427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26444577668954605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14494876371582774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113060646236074,0.0,0.2388666774979225,0.0,0.12226424200775594,0.0,0.0,0.12639743866072586,0.17858581790187406,0.12001003865032772,0.0,0.0,0.2126329269186156,0.0,0.0,0.09656699420472917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20967142947231,0.19993190474914016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11196652454274032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13205883880312644,0.0,0.12414331118839875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828416105414348,0.2442552785736363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12620430889784054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12246370047986699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469648530325333,0.0950605570489507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13294229197594232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264965925308319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10339305200555314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08846859303848352,0.0,0.0,0.10449726942221764,0.0,0.0,0.143083691234678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301480702364996,0.0,0.0,0.08303782814586771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21864809093445767,0.0,0.0,0.2388666774979225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09921127527870448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13954691507182668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878933768068506,0.0,0.0,0.16097897452078933
addiction,evangelion-01,2020/01/09,"After many tries geting off the wagon back on it and many relapses i think i finally surrendered. I've been trying to get sober many times but i always end up relapsing because i am not 100 percent commit, I was not willing to get rid of everything and anything that would get on way of my recovery. I would think about it. This time people are going to drop like flies regardless if i had great times with them or if i knew em for a long time. I am also going to help me fellow addicts by sponsoring hopefully  and Finally but not intimately I finally broke down and cried because i couldn't keep going, i recently started doing meth and that shit gets weird really quick . I dont want to keep going to see weird it leads or ends. I begged for help and im wiling to do everything is suggested without trying to understand it or flip it and make it my way like i always did and i felt at peace and then i got a seance of happiness like i've never felt before that everything is going to be ok if i just do gods will and stop trying to control everything. and then this little song popped up right away on youtube.

​

 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqDinxaPUK4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqDinxaPUK4) 

everyday i wake up im going to make that my number one priority and end this vicious cycle that killed my dad. murder that disease!",5.1678571428571445,7.1903570555555545,5.525587301587304,77.88885714285716,69.71428571428572,8.690793650793651,26.488888888888887,9.255337874911486,2.3207279365079363,1086,35,191,23,20,346,141,252,0.136,0.711,0.153,0.725,0,0,1,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,1,2,5,14,4,0,3,1,19,3,2,4,2,47,44,23,2,9,13,1,2,3,1,4,1,1,0,0,15,13,0,4,6,1,0,7,7,7,0,1,8,4,25,7,31,30,1,43,0,1,1,0,6,12,1,7,24,124,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09747526688631128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715049368688494,0.14880045641117293,0.09688083559463934,0.10864869845530144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358071403222483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400809345774342,0.06875441735161683,0.0,0.10901279360520276,0.0,0.07608535973092477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10028623623737323,0.0,0.0,0.0982178954888254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479341169204304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375847651185933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3214408184375069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170434883866428,0.29384843789281595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18686204894030412,0.0,0.3048987506362235,0.0,0.07151313736563658,0.09858006871140038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518365551418788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119865633554933,0.0,0.0,0.08880901402085112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19316653000300613,0.0,0.0,0.15895186208900308,0.09892416412143593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13105057927724315,0.08961706157468348,0.0,0.07912923294785061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193700691972002,0.2719575425531001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06896216127063948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06058974324761165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0619889237334609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0572813733174027,0.0,0.08828627064534213,0.0,0.0,0.07635970110999149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07125197280444752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09178294773363267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0632882145993048,0.0,0.0,0.07475472803504236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11458671252287785,0.0,0.0,0.20855382044667306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24282696190752104,0.0,0.0,0.0930838997971728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05273913148481037,0.14194652056415205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08619262051079689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12703533455812846,0.0,0.10864869845530144,0.0
addiction,browniverson400,2020/01/09,Is it a good idea to never have sex again if you have sex addiction? This seems really complicated to me especially if one were in a relationship and wanted to have kids. How do you battle sex addiction without staying abstinent despite having a partner?,7.329275362318842,8.601097434782613,8.603043478260872,60.69340579710146,63.78260869565217,12.220289855072465,37.072463768115945,11.855464076750405,5.24916811594203,206,10,31,7,3,71,35,46,0.055,0.875,0.07,0.168,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,2,2,1,0,3,0,7,5,0,1,1,9,9,4,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,3,1,5,8,0,4,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,3,2,27,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6144576425188047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363798788248861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3181440214311128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217359379414582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909706533051586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18054311997884684,0.0,0.0,0.3025725829956615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565612021204009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30038596947957497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16622658975862065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2716674500791738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,wir3dshut,2020/01/09,"Emotional as fuck I should probably mention that I did have my first panic attack two days ago and I got so scared that I called paramedics and went to the ER. 

I'm trying to figure out though why I'm so emotional though.

So I stopped doing drugs 2 weeks ago. I stopped drinking 4 days ago because I relapsed. Anyways, I've noticed that I'm super emotional. Anything remotely sad on TV and tears start rolling down my face and I catch myself sobbing. Also, when I think about something sad same thing happens. Like wtf!? Am I having a nervous break? I never experienced anything like this before. I am sort more depressed than the usual I guess but this is a bit too much.",2.178102564102564,4.847438553846157,3.0392307692307696,88.7091025641026,82.69230769230771,5.312820512820513,26.35897435897436,6.742157984588678,1.2716051282051284,532,23,99,6,15,168,89,130,0.203,0.728,0.069,-0.9153,0,0,3,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,10,12,2,3,4,0,8,4,1,0,1,15,18,13,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,5,1,2,2,2,0,2,1,9,1,2,3,1,16,3,8,14,4,19,0,4,0,1,2,3,2,2,15,62,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3559024461862881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10702554250284337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202649546139557,0.0,0.0,0.15225342042466616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158285208157444,0.0,0.11388132425963568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461100735635083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13665761465730872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726213632494766,0.0,0.11526945676796672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13110458168062045,0.15520283483258315,0.0,0.0,0.4516295528120156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138375802266847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12372568983134083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10703781665699094,0.0,0.1474312298345264,0.0,0.11834735092622553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13076728178162153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09838204801900224,0.0,0.10321962434140848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15236881899380358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15702322235422073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14429372095577706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339893550221508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10303054725212142,0.0,0.0,0.09472710274467458,0.0,0.0,0.22377938287750185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891215072276089,0.0857542542403177,0.2629788661160625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086326228123524,0.0,0.13073458901941112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14739723379427547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10735209866177346,0.0,0.0,0.12406376762056735,0.1207627222470233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ThanosForskin,2020/01/09,"Nicotine addiction need of guidance I am 21M who has been addicted to nicotine for about 4 years now. It started out with vaping in high school, but after I graduated I started smoking cigarettes. I quit squares about a year ago and I have been struggling to quit vaping. I feel like my life has been revolving around it, and every time I try to quit, I find some excuse to do it again, despite the fact that I know it’s going to ruin my life. 

I feel like a bad person when I do it because my girlfriend doesn’t know. I quit for a bit in high school when she found out I was doing it, but doesn’t know I picked up the habit again. I feel like I’m living a lie, and I know things won’t end well if she finds out. Every time I try to quit, I think about her and what I’m doing it for. But working long hours every day and my anger issues don’t seem to help. 

Does anyone have any recommendations on how to quit for good? I don’t want to live like this.",3.015424328147102,3.659532480198024,4.349024045261668,89.58108910891089,73.20792079207921,7.355586987270155,23.33946251768034,7.447530270364453,0.7075561527581327,739,18,170,8,14,245,106,202,0.09300000000000001,0.777,0.129,0.5023,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,7,11,10,1,1,6,0,18,4,0,2,1,32,35,12,0,3,4,0,3,4,1,1,4,0,0,1,12,10,0,0,12,0,0,1,5,4,1,0,5,4,26,6,27,29,2,28,0,1,1,0,8,10,0,3,21,106,38,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20850128673725246,0.0,0.0,0.08477008503477185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06503157190551949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06686660909113472,0.0,0.0,0.08513083416046176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984692368066691,0.0582950641315434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10440301964599892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061673336886045316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08368631924762301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469965564729867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24171679931626125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14505996454186376,0.20495393488202845,0.0,0.0,0.1748078863719447,0.0,0.0,0.10485318588499556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05434864304806948,0.08020977441463956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06409866735971262,0.20207635721312034,0.0,0.0,0.09417613128998703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981270972484332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21022264109622607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13509237115157327,0.186879641573328,0.0,0.16888580516378845,0.08462940095050707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090831618546585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08350028949456452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6102846502106026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19356501124934733,0.0,0.08705781662943965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353745888651834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999730744131006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06353221781550605,0.06127574144494806,0.0,0.0,0.11152505991037144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12985277093743972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056404958546116726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598271271768325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0696196639845559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231649659117504
addiction,Throwaway14xiv,2020/01/09,Addict in training Im 17 i hate being sober i have tried every substance besides meth heroine and crack but anything ill pretty much take it till i cant feel anything i like being numb i like not being able to focus on my current shitty situation,1.8778231292516985,4.575655591836735,3.7296938775510218,82.86828231292519,84.91836734693878,4.082993197278912,24.493197278911573,5.46131890053228,0.8006707482993196,200,8,33,1,6,67,40,49,0.32299999999999995,0.5660000000000001,0.111,-0.9141,1,0,1,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,4,8,3,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,6,2,4,5,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,20,7,0,0.2792456127671025,0.0,0.0,0.3044189361166775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4595906920782377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352764725208056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411949722069104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27569723020973663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016331805762069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728506023145524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20527765579582968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840931787940858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3138837686827537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20995794825556052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189589440905428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,kaylas696,2020/01/09,"Any advice is greatly appreciated. I'm going to try and keep a long story short as best I can.
So for the past few years I've gained a very intense relationship with drugs. I've done almost all of the usual drugs minus meth/heroin.
I gained a particular interest in coke.
(Shitty friends + shitty abusive relationship with an addict played a part in speeding up that process.) 

I'll be clean from coke for almost a year in a few days.
(I stick to only natural substances now, aka, weed and psychedelics, the occasional time)

I'm here to ask for any advice I guess, see on the day of my year anniversary I'll be in the city with friends going to a gig we've been planning for almost a year now.

The problem is I know these friends will have coke an I feel myself being on the verge of a relapse.
For context, I have been out with these friends before when they have been on coke. And they have ALWAYS been very respectful and conscious of me seeing it. They'll normally head to a bathroom to keep it out of sight.

The thing that is keeping me up at night the past few nights is, while we're in the city, we'll be staying in a rented apartment for the one night.
This apartment is a few hundred yards from a house I was assaulted in and I'm terrified it will send me off the rails.
I haven't been to that area since the assault 2 years ago.

Personally I thought I was in a much better head space to deal with these types of issues. I try to take these events as  they come and try to forgive and grow from it. but since I realised two days ago where we'll be spending the night I haven't been able to sleep properly.

Normally it would be a pure validated excuse for me to go off the rails and relapse but I'm afraid of the significance that one night will have with the rest of my sanity.


Before anything is said about these friends I was the one that said it is okay for them to do is as long as I don't see it. I know what I can handle and know to leave the party when it gets too much. And they have no where near any addiction to coke, one of them can't even finish half a gram in one night. I know they would never allow me to have some but I know I can find it if I really want to. And I do.
This will be the toughest one yet and no matter if I get a bag or not it will be messy.

I guess what I'm asking if there's anyone who has had a similar issue and if they can give me any advice.

I feel a wave coming and I'm not looking forward to this crash.",3.4396262458471765,4.0366370213178335,4.520954595791807,88.90820930232559,72.19767441860466,7.525049833887043,24.82037652270211,7.554174236665415,0.9342111406423026,1917,52,434,21,35,628,217,516,0.064,0.8340000000000001,0.102,0.8966,1,0,3,0,0,0,41.0,2,0,9,5,13,17,2,1,41,1,55,12,3,1,3,65,92,30,0,10,10,0,2,0,5,10,4,2,3,1,27,24,5,3,11,2,2,8,9,4,0,8,14,9,46,13,69,60,11,69,0,0,5,0,29,29,0,11,33,294,73,1,0.06707548137538343,0.0794734771659467,0.0,0.14624435082414855,0.0,0.1966361522927288,0.1189167342726342,0.0,0.2014992166927083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05581217380910036,0.0,0.0,0.1824545098061002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04690073616029125,0.0,0.05519740597053548,0.0,0.12541304112314364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141525886156205,0.0,0.07039157947512181,0.059322812445349773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555917587175585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12977440941299342,0.06915187602351673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06864150555673675,0.0,0.0,0.15557252667899946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04430272284450959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06783075755221411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06130577480229765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.259111752613478,0.0,0.0700883411604763,0.06434491371935598,0.11436162546211585,0.0,0.0,0.07395095501361122,0.14778240978324156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13767759033597735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07739609978067533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400187515974775,0.0,0.1788593093359382,0.0,0.0,0.18431465194264085,0.0,0.0,0.07102324984158571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187193805498198,0.056326510963660176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861639322942058,0.0,0.05173274630895737,0.0,0.0,0.3776747727184563,0.1314394605494156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.272712492642372,0.051013926122929605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726362098715971,0.12806227344344395,0.0,0.05856772311505965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06418217693461283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0429702709349323,0.0,0.0,0.14402792939802067,0.0,0.0,0.12760828583733902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603514230929947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097106266523246,0.0,0.06712392248584878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149353846938038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05043241434763435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04456196935875813,0.0,0.0,0.053250439808079066,0.0391122525967186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13661954671095414,0.0,0.06552299885511008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07387416638235443,0.11068859369475599,0.03956285678099865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09529699495898998,0.0,0.0,0.2159720542485281
addiction,hmmmmphhhhhh,2020/01/09,"(TW) After 5 years of not cutting I did it again the last time I had even thought about cutting myself was in middle school. I just graduated high school, and I did it again. I'm trying to be sober from ALL drugs (I beat opiate and & cocaine addiction-go me) including weed and its been a couple days and the brain fog has lifted and im being forced to actually feel emotions. it seems like whenever I try to give up drugs I normally pick up disordered eating habits or excessive exercise to take its place, but this time I felt the urge to cut myself and I did. and in that moment, the inner voice in my head was silent. I can see myself spiraling out of control with cutting because for a moment, I felt at peace. I went to my first NA meeting tonight and my mom came with me and I hated every moment of it. I don't want to be completely sober I can't see that happening. I wanted to buy some weed immediately after but she took my keys. I don't think I can live without some type of escape. I don't even know why im typing this because as soon as I press post im going right back to the bathroom and doing it again. I want help but I don't want to talk about my feelings at all. I've also been off my depression meds for about a week now, so that could've contributed to it but im not sure. im so ashamed of myself but not enough to stop. I really just want to be held and told everything will be okay but Ive pushed everyone away. I just feel so lost and hopeless. thank you if you read this whole thing and im sorry if it was upsetting",1.4933743589743609,3.3230163323076947,3.3759230769230757,90.1542435897436,79.52307692307693,6.671794871794872,21.2948717948718,7.675431598112923,0.7379948717948714,1208,34,267,19,30,406,173,325,0.129,0.797,0.07400000000000001,-0.9633,0,0,3,0,0,3,28.0,0,2,0,4,19,14,5,2,8,1,25,6,2,2,3,57,54,28,0,8,16,1,6,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,16,17,1,3,9,2,1,5,9,10,0,1,18,9,40,4,41,30,6,41,0,3,2,0,9,15,0,6,21,176,56,6,0.0,0.0,0.08662594238390275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709887039661611,0.0,0.09618140032255988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834015934895728,0.06825804194040339,0.0,0.10822577115140783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09909579442607086,0.0,0.10152832613722848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307282620756947,0.0,0.09956221553195736,0.07087498977115626,0.09822144078811748,0.0,0.057248795789223386,0.0,0.07645678920640837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10173720354476257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20588819900345812,0.09083306155287944,0.0,0.09985341155388254,0.0,0.09172232188586008,0.0,0.11726245002404695,0.0,0.07479188674596927,0.0848227828427779,0.07978004072835389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13465313710191326,0.0,0.1704647220620158,0.0,0.0,0.0755070434024807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08515551353129383,0.10089917375572824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784983179118948,0.0,0.0,0.08764121544792633,0.09110281783845553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059500129283062225,0.09378954254818092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.575315868317106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04878523547633831,0.0723587527960776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043368151367270485,0.0,0.0783848374329488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969020772512688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09860257905813044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10396542412720784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697497684261213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927449293197624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08501636366752534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879323070869218,0.0,0.05686782803070661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07580841903243757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796783563280807,0.14147513237294826,0.08081215348025307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09936986127380737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421503312818599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0836639284709877,0.0,0.06674339732782812,0.07134932727458848,0.0,0.08172676066767323,0.0,0.0,0.0589743177100465,0.056879724463373776,0.0,0.07047283593233189,0.1035240786790378,0.0,0.0,0.0848227828427779,0.09862585688646736,0.12053693121547868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617918955214577,0.0,0.07120530458272888,0.0,0.0,0.0822899456203091,0.08010040350427487,0.0991076511592545,0.0,0.08557034925757963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05716445986129124
addiction,hojoffman,2020/01/09,Suboxone information please! My boyfriend is going to start using suboxone (not 100% sure I spelled that right) on a daily basis after he gets out of detox. I was just looking for some more information about it and opinions or stories on how it has affected others. Thank you!,4.2940000000000005,7.1118124000000025,5.065999999999999,76.55300000000003,75.0,8.0,30.0,8.841846274778883,2.9716000000000005,220,10,36,5,5,71,45,50,0.031,0.8220000000000001,0.147,0.7256,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,3,1,13,9,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,4,2,8,8,2,7,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,3,2,27,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20951682742954786,0.0,0.22790937408213285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33675648993492385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4402004371257812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.342469589962485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838446011209653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3779573778718405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3692060930969165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3463532323626989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,spoofking42,2020/01/09,"I need some help . I have a mastrubation addiction. No I’m not joking. I’m too embarrassed to go to a doctor and its not that bad anyway. I mastrubate 5-6 times a week and it’s gettin to me. It doesn’t disrupt daily things, but I have started hating myself for it. Every time I do it I berate myself, but I don’t stop. I’ve wanted to try and reach out to someone for a while, but I just haven’t. Any help or suggestions would be awesome. I just want to stop, I don’t know how though.",0.5068571428571431,2.2128319238095244,3.226904761904766,90.62892857142859,82.14285714285714,6.104761904761905,19.07142857142857,7.1686216300943375,0.2665999999999995,372,9,85,5,10,131,64,105,0.147,0.698,0.155,0.2124,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,6,4,1,1,4,0,9,2,0,1,0,21,18,10,0,4,8,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,7,4,0,2,1,1,0,1,7,3,0,0,0,0,13,1,9,16,1,9,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,7,60,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581411395901902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16102849381631987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977136562967373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24236937585659699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19950972009179654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345758663762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233785710232306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3174369481815273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13013615644642346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755802454073516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006353531969602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676044843082891,0.0,0.0,0.3959418896944933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573158551127226,0.0,0.2326495583748821,0.0,0.27615374953927146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16076803550366586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793352598534449,0.0,0.18994239889418169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16821213769696058,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,mistercheez2000,2020/01/09,"Always there is something missing and yes, ""life has a gap in it, just don't go crazy trying to fill it"" But can anyone give advice to someone trying to stay sober - potentially forever? Things you do to pass time, people you associate with etc I've been an obsessive addict for as long as I can remember, from sweets to pop, football, computer games, alcohol, sex, weed, coke and heroin. 
I had spells on and off smoking smack and crack seriously for 10 years, always stopping when things got completely out of hand, each time getting worse and worse. I'm lucky I can avoid the most harmful stuff where I am now, but I still struggle with weed. I can't go to bed without it but I'm cutting a hole in my pocket again. Any advice is welcome and I appreciate this is a place for people in a similar predicament. I will start NA, again, next week (tho it doesn't do for me tbh)",5.127639553429027,5.746554491228071,5.723019670388094,81.7195215311005,68.41520467836258,8.791281233386497,29.58054226475279,8.841846274778883,2.2077087719298247,682,24,135,11,11,221,116,171,0.106,0.794,0.1,0.4497,0,1,2,0,0,0,26.0,0,2,0,0,9,10,1,3,6,1,16,6,1,0,0,20,25,13,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,1,0,8,10,2,2,1,1,0,4,4,7,0,0,3,2,12,3,23,21,3,26,0,1,0,1,5,8,0,2,13,86,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17269607914795235,0.0,0.3096032298303,0.0,0.1692977973250877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636284692362724,0.0,0.0,0.10772784825125767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11076767339579792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660954465114816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17667495430654045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276546508762403,0.1519664075887324,0.18006215133321346,0.0,0.1266992009882736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189342370858543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14019257102437158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684764874354113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21965046973107624,0.0,0.16551028989585911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17945367360448006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13422478451356593,0.12195585094995275,0.0,0.0,0.11212717714660612,0.1688496507180851,0.126510677257667,0.13244229887034345,0.0,0.1656100855940115,0.18134763810341298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104881957901372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18474649125338471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21510720397282213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12707121230291527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527067130892089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3228774848388856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10201427067524292
addiction,Telo_d,2020/01/09,"Parental substance abuse Questions (school project) The following questions are for a research project on parental substance abuse for school. If you have grown up exposed to parental substance abuse, please feel free to answer any of the questions. Keep in mind they are completely optional and you do not have to answer all of them if you don't feel comfortable doing so.

​

1. Are you able to establish close relationships with others?
2. Were your parents emotionally distant with you during your childhood? If so, how do you think it has impacted your behaviour in certain situations/when your around certain people.
3. How would you say your parent's substance abuse has effected your life? What kind of person has it resulted you be? How different would you be were it not for your parent's addiction?",6.140098199672668,9.119100773049649,5.042836879432628,78.22615384615386,69.63829787234043,8.310092744135298,34.95962902345881,9.057496981413335,3.598547845062738,663,34,103,14,13,196,82,141,0.138,0.8,0.062,-0.932,7,0,0,0,4,0,21.0,0,16,2,1,6,5,0,0,3,0,18,2,0,5,3,31,23,9,0,5,5,6,2,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,5,5,0,1,9,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,2,3,18,6,17,17,1,9,0,0,0,0,30,6,0,7,1,73,23,5,0.0978968065964122,0.463966830449875,0.0,0.1067219693014666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10607114904635884,0.1189553353540941,0.06657318551010133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08714891319908376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10264293915164953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228132662010206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012073087102868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989991337701268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08701517978944766,0.0,0.10194445930368567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06914740965157135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988478674198474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6522169105160639,0.0,0.0,0.06786931933645635,0.08547971546412836,0.0,0.1074612957835834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3290004843740549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10510453342742893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07785146989556893,0.0,0.1981535894732685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06272832076718267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13908616521898473,0.0,0.1189553353540941,0.0
addiction,bks7744,2020/01/10,"Quitting cigs Alright. I am slowly weening off and am down to 2 cigs a day. My teeth hurt and my head feels like it's under water entirely. 

What other lovely symptoms have u guys experienced?",2.54418918918919,5.155634702702706,4.282364864864864,80.83543918918923,80.35135135135134,5.8621621621621625,25.466216216216218,7.1686216300943375,1.5229513513513515,152,6,26,2,4,51,33,37,0.085,0.701,0.214,0.6326,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,1,3,5,2,0,0,3,5,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,3,4,5,0,4,0,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,16,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23352914611708156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18309224788570694,0.2586894100593943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3585429946943379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37162638908606377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3876431779891533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17690725573971774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3268158275288418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3851455114100568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3763679622842696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Unhappycamper93,2020/01/10,"I chronically relapse meth after 6 weeks I’ve made a cycle of relapsing meth ever 6 weeks that passes. I find the desire to feel normal outweighs the negatives of doing meth until the 6 week mark.

My mental health seems to take a turn for the worst around then and the cravings for
Meth skyrocket. I hope to die everytime I use so I don’t have to keep fighting this.",2.6242857142857154,4.881463561643837,4.156594911937379,83.83630136986301,77.76712328767123,6.911154598825831,22.757338551859107,7.957251820313856,1.3293420743639923,292,9,55,5,7,97,52,73,0.146,0.777,0.078,-0.7096,0,0,4,0,2,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,7,0,3,2,0,2,1,12,11,4,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,1,6,1,11,10,1,9,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,7,35,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20602476784149834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24019130156226004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20934473482249089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11701966669914968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115259092772384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460028521681515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298655582284221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20570861479194752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21898785245086894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23323040530819056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267555666434774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106882498773668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17400909353697608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517330510158245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19988412644179773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5569256736186041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,stonystrap,2020/01/10,"It started with one hit I (22f) never imagined myself even trying weed. I grew up in a conservative and religious small town. I had a lot of presumptions about the drug. But then my friends were in the car and one of them took out a pen. It happened slowly. I tried it once and was fine without it for months. My first experience was very positive. I had a lot of fun with my friends and never felt more happy and at peace with the world. Then I tried it a few more times. Then somehow I ended up buying some. But I rarely touched it at first. Maybe once or twice a month. Slowly I just kept doing it more and more often.  During the summer 2019 I attempted suicide and began smoking on a daily basis to cope with the depression. Every night I slept feeling disgusting and every morning I woke up feeling disgusting. I started to notice wrinkles on my face. 

My younger brother (19) said he could tell when I was high because I wasn’t angry. It made me realize what I was hiding underneath. I thought I was helping myself by using weed to deal with my anger and sadness. The truth is whenever I let myself get sober the baggage was still there. 

Once the school semester began I thought I would slow down. But I didn’t. I began smoking earlier and earlier in the day. I was high in class. I was high in lab. I’d go to my car and smoke in between classes. My voice began to sound raspy and I did poorly in school. It was my last semester in undergrad and I spent it faded as hell. I tried going to therapy, but I thought my habit was more effective treatment lol. 

I kept going until I couldn’t anymore. I smoked and took 30mg edibles a day and barely felt any difference. It would take more and more and more weed to feel baseline moods. I don’t blame the marijuana to be honest, I was clearly trying to run away from the reality of my life. 

I spent hundreds on it. Money I could have used to help others. It could have contributed to my tuition. I could have paid for new tires for my dads car. I could have bought my brother the laptop he always wanted. I could have invested it into the stock market. But no, I threw it away on poison. 

I don’t know what damage it’s done to my body at this point. But the daily use for the past six months has been affecting my conscious. My family is against weed and I know if they caught me I’d be in trouble. For so long I just said I’d never get caught, but the guilt and stress of hiding it made me feel more shitty. 

I’m writing all of this now to warn people. Look if you’re a vulnerable person like me it isn’t a good idea to just try things once. I couldn’t have been more against weed to begin with. It’s funny because my friends didn’t even pressure me to try it, I just let my curiosity take over. 

It has officially been two days without smoking and I unadded my dealer on all social media. I’ve tried to quit before, but this time it is so much different. I don’t want weed anymore. I don’t want to be high. I don’t want to destroy my body. I don’t want to waste my money. But most of all, I just don’t want to be angry.",1.6447043185905308,3.699449359300477,3.308104980583284,89.71098282467621,80.04928457869634,6.095973311788162,22.553128827960077,7.201597864021418,0.7755174802574998,2393,77,503,31,61,793,273,629,0.11900000000000001,0.785,0.096,-0.9608,1,0,3,0,0,1,66.0,0,0,2,5,16,24,6,3,26,1,58,8,4,7,8,103,113,40,1,18,19,3,7,1,3,2,4,4,0,1,29,28,0,3,16,0,10,13,19,13,0,7,48,12,83,10,76,48,19,84,1,3,1,0,19,35,1,9,37,352,112,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053206035632478686,0.0,0.0,0.0434837083359891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12682935196005354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12015386838809936,0.0,0.0,0.07795861277370314,0.0,0.0544111282799745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14205341662157792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3063216361940167,0.0,0.0,0.12371461959228973,0.06592284314788789,0.05507436131200532,0.0,0.0,0.1336144978158425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06543630432691057,0.0,0.0,0.07415404949312268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05663487771257844,0.0,0.0,0.08446803230934037,0.0,0.10775015369096463,0.0,0.0,0.06254892018849455,0.06028015172610542,0.0,0.12932682807322107,0.0,0.12279139356020888,0.0,0.0,0.1087804558133586,0.0,0.0,0.14820754901432068,0.0,0.06681558023453261,0.0,0.10902153247314267,0.053632694614992725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056544942155404974,0.06806894399467972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571983344473838,0.2702388738633175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07218432139751224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07028324660774313,0.05212240975512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13077292849272226,0.04516511821447779,0.031239517937206262,0.0,0.0,0.056587901533854686,0.0536963559175516,0.0,0.0,0.10872479314447643,0.0,0.12100959241684127,0.0,0.0,0.0642397452300254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15311704823193886,0.0,0.047005760338755545,0.0,0.1479512885250617,0.061756939322572826,0.0,0.060006554255462426,0.0,0.0,0.07279999078021421,0.0,0.2723905591502472,0.0866594126374763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06104121573291161,0.0443303060290059,0.055832915120480574,0.0,0.0,0.060447186370299825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06801168251590076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12164964271923645,0.0,0.0,0.1294282799352831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06518224914920638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09051894281242884,0.0,0.05106528609417961,0.0,0.07324695476125972,0.0,0.0,0.06994370699442368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615496590368036,0.0,0.05588935467653981,0.0,0.07312485671585063,0.0,0.04248115720532848,0.0,0.0,0.15229176384875984,0.07457182773225729,0.07349353796986875,0.0,0.0,0.14208695220531598,0.34730699889998456,0.0,0.062463415665479916,0.0,0.0,0.16567971511167492,0.0,0.05276000609092808,0.2262928630745331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327832182132545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908471210384825,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,BatMelk,2020/01/10,"Rolplay rehab There should be a rehab facility that is set up to give major simulation responsibilities to addicts that empower them and give them the taste of real responsibility. Maybe a tors could be involved and you give them the knowledge of the type of coordinator they will be for the day or week and others act as if it were real life. Maybe it could be done in big office spaces with many rehabs goin on at once. There could be a range of roleplays. Just an idea to plant a seed. I know it might sound stupid but its an idea, thanks",5.403428571428571,6.362099057142861,6.1057142857142885,78.00428571428574,67.95238095238095,8.285714285714286,25.47619047619048,8.418075326091056,1.4503333333333337,431,11,85,6,7,141,73,105,0.021,0.9420000000000001,0.037000000000000005,0.3919,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,4,0,3,2,1,0,10,0,14,6,0,0,0,19,19,7,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,3,5,2,0,0,7,4,1,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,3,6,1,14,6,1,10,0,0,0,0,9,6,0,3,2,60,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18027667389844654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39610119069052346,0.0,0.0,0.10664935661567937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16922995306710895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.47591118407943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37336305734058384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09088250511070664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116805050565229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16765826101045947,0.3322708756903141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754304290053479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17611264119771933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37645236560558265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522496032157884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13264907700994866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Needadviceta198,2020/01/10,"Trying to help a friend through this So friend relapsed after 3 years is doing coke/crack. I'm their only line left in life they are staying with me and they say they want help... I didn't expect them to stop overnight but seeing what I think are odd behavior and I just wanted an opinion.

So this week I took them to their first session with a therapist, they are the one that made the appointment/found the therapist not me. At the same time they are still seeking out crack and they were super high just the next day(they insisted they weren't but they were obviously smashed they couldn't stand up without falling over had no motor controll ECT) after meeting with the therapist. Is this normal behavior for an addict or do you think they are just seeing the therapist to make me happy and make me feel like they still want help so they just have a place to live? Also if anyone has any other advice just give it to me I'm really out of my knowledge zone with helping. Appreciate it!",4.325156249999999,6.050202453125002,4.459291666666665,85.88987500000002,71.34375,7.411666666666667,25.82083333333333,8.021203637495839,1.4738058333333326,789,25,152,11,15,245,115,192,0.036000000000000004,0.7959999999999999,0.168,0.9772,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,16,3,11,5,0,0,12,0,17,2,0,4,1,39,32,12,0,7,11,0,1,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,8,10,0,2,4,0,0,2,6,0,0,2,7,4,27,5,22,24,1,23,0,0,2,0,26,9,0,3,11,110,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13145210621082862,0.0,0.11783126997342347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09642932875316476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08199984979425201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431369165872256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352428918479908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07776537169228094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060969848721447374,0.08614375747359533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10256693114031272,0.0,0.13221186634562465,0.1863226056012364,0.0,0.0,0.1156731782759121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128361710553501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3232941133973762,0.12740143328012574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13101262369923564,0.0,0.08517058574927479,0.05891024193940765,0.0,0.10647605655243723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11409754114315165,0.16097875405466486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12824025438014472,0.0,0.1181446929817598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08170943890783416,0.09170799415023148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12598245607959693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724787435569226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589159342134458,0.0,0.0,0.19217637860372214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12852429730520729,0.19259377590653168,0.10081189581029998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5600196751515448,0.0,0.15452806836092198,0.0,0.0,0.07031229518972491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13397096503975015,0.08186721772393249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21336704586284305,0.0,0.09672355376216207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11623668103612085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07765081181914747
addiction,_wholly,2020/01/10,"ex-addict fiancee prescribed the thing she was addicted to? my fiancée (25f) was hooked on xanax and klonopin for 5 years. i helped her break the habit in july last year. 

this year so far her panic disorder has gotten intensely worse, we don’t know why, and the folks at the hospital (it was so bad we went to the ER) gave her a xanax (idk the dose) and are prescribing her ativan. as the xanax kicked in she made such a contented sigh that just made me want to cry.. i can’t imagine her hooked like she used to be again.. 

what do you think is the likelihood she’ll just full-blown abuse the pills and relapse?.. she keeps assuring me that she’ll be smarter this time, she swears she won’t use them to get high, said that i can count her pills if i want or give her a weekly allowance of them, but like.. i just don’t trust it, it seems so sketch, like she’s gonna abuse them behind my back or something...... what do i do?",2.563650793650794,3.939328328042333,2.9970158730158762,96.01742857142858,75.24338624338625,6.733121693121692,21.594708994708995,7.3011,0.32801629629629625,710,17,167,8,15,219,115,189,0.092,0.804,0.105,-0.5594,0,0,1,0,2,0,35.0,2,1,3,0,9,8,0,1,12,0,18,7,0,5,1,26,35,12,0,3,7,0,0,3,1,4,7,1,0,0,11,6,0,1,4,0,0,1,4,2,2,0,9,1,32,5,13,20,0,16,0,0,0,0,27,6,0,4,11,101,43,0,0.0,0.37107626883215294,0.0,0.3414208738362492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041102323766882,0.13074934396229249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17201101764237073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794701464020849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08181383605551074,0.1502191130472918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10496157296751144,0.16545002561133532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13918783037450605,0.0,0.0,0.08605989793444993,0.12764490771628695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295115711033075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963458199534973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837291712484317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14895663392741446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14255718174706414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12055361478445566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040340117932206,0.10033903155457297,0.0,0.0,0.09131114729575414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704936583611309,0.0,0.0,0.18472624833035944,0.0,0.1256101602246691,0.0,0.0,0.14516409015900034,0.1413016147770689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595825359203728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025239624103132
addiction,LionDinner200,2020/01/10,"I’m addicted to risky sex situations and I want to stop I keep doing this to myself. I say that I never will do a crazy night hookup and then I pull myself back into it. I download the same apps looking for the same sketchy people to have some form of sex. I’ve been already worried I had an STD from months ago and now I’ve just had sex again with a complete stranger. It’s not safe my health or mental state and I want to quit it. I don’t want desperation to be what drives my sexual appetite.

I believe it stems from my porn use from such a young age since I’ve been watching porn since 13 and it’s only  gotten increasingly disturbing in what attracts me and what i masturbate to. I’ve said this a lot of times but this time I need to work on it. I’m done with on the fling hookups controlled only by my desperation and impulse when I feel at my most stressed/rejected.

I need all the help I can get, is there anyway I can stop myself from downloading that app",2.33758560140474,3.9875676517412937,3.5803804506877377,90.45202809482004,76.4626865671642,6.719461515949664,23.7638279192274,7.510576382923642,0.8801030728709391,762,24,168,10,17,248,119,201,0.09300000000000001,0.85,0.055999999999999994,-0.7836,0,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,3,8,3,0,1,9,0,14,8,0,2,2,33,28,11,0,5,4,0,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,14,10,0,5,1,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,7,5,25,2,23,19,8,24,0,0,2,6,3,5,0,4,15,112,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788136397375544,0.0,0.0,0.14540003741110044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18100787171364974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261266371193079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18480225781685106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17197918725825598,0.0,0.18397022639702304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678565684964416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08293697893774782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08569733678904436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17435302923353935,0.0,0.0,0.10994383960191792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457947329159245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13774136754506636,0.0,0.0,0.13944988852473975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16530063499854722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309247853511373,0.0,0.0,0.24324788212482704,0.12650773324225678,0.0,0.0,0.15392822666599112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494998475069297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371566788446966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17446290346341636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560272374464735,0.13044085282592344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713696564535997,0.18437321885650235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742678308976061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19129092387475707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14166666212880236,0.0,0.0,0.2902421206518617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11941360851237127,0.1665773791096148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Yoojojojo,2020/01/10,Struggling addiction I’ve been trying to quit smoking cannabis for two months now with no progress. Here to ask for any tips that would help. Any advice is appreciated. Some background I been smoking daily since I was 15. I’ve quit once for a year. Just don’t know how to do it again.,2.244880952380953,4.758528964285716,2.5892857142857157,93.12238095238096,80.78571428571429,5.161904761904762,23.619047619047624,6.42735559955562,0.4849976190476193,226,8,47,2,6,69,43,56,0.085,0.765,0.15,0.5859,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,1,1,0,7,1,0,1,0,6,9,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,2,0,7,5,1,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,27,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723113571364001,0.0,0.24409493285795136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3397357566358156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335228351617611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16743105399972008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13727975878118087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19938247459247027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2660215062567786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5313714332061885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20663143914238705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611379910075704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16959312259044462,0.0,0.2440115688753914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17744585607622787,0.0,0.0,0.16085857091784955
addiction,bxball,2020/01/10,"How do you go about dealing with a meth addict friend? They never shot up or smoked it so silver linings..

Lifelong friend was off of the shit for years.  Relapsed and caused an obvious strain on their family and myself.  I was over accommodating with the bs of a recent relapse without enabling while dealing with the paranoia for a week or two until said paranoia was apparent to friend.

They did well for a few months or so and have recently slipped back into it.

I love this friend with all of my heart.  I will do anything for them but I've learned that just as I'm about to turn them away so are their siblings and mother.

I don't want to see them become homeless and fall deeper into the nonsense that has gotten them to where they are but I get why everyone around them is fed up.

Any advice?   Please?  I don't want to turn my back or see their family do the same but god damn do I get why they would.",2.1032478632478657,4.340089263736264,2.9412454212454238,91.98431013431015,79.43956043956044,5.582905982905984,21.649572649572647,6.691623216298621,0.3972261294261292,714,21,148,7,18,225,108,182,0.075,0.812,0.114,0.8087,1,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,12,1,12,9,2,1,10,0,17,5,2,2,3,31,31,19,0,3,9,1,0,0,4,2,1,1,0,0,5,12,1,0,1,0,0,2,4,3,1,1,7,3,23,6,30,22,3,22,0,0,2,1,22,10,2,4,10,112,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457129194291018,0.0,0.13061440278734635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908957478939506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999365272647464,0.11898883285634207,0.0,0.0,0.12558123659900094,0.20555792655865807,0.0,0.0,0.1476208089697158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13730921020550044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2756023513414805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772118032128904,0.0,0.0,0.25201206079152755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4130722831363317,0.0,0.13966729997955588,0.0,0.07596403427019656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583918638409521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12063650658697796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066889121385972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030895135748182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14672235938626915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26395311656329923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12714457528045325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21302497144282326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13720363837192448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2907749611423723,0.1305697949920572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15767636370300975,0.0,0.1072167788140112,0.0,0.12017951818509227,0.0,0.2412209959850089,0.0,0.0,0.12884682206124476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09495069908711924,0.0,0.0,0.08607489687583042
addiction,boredbelgian,2020/01/10,"Dont blame all your problems on drugs and dont expect life to magically get perfect when you manage to stay sober Wouldn't say my use is unhealthy. I (25M) have a stressful job and drink almost every single day. Usually just a couple beers with my wife, I go to bars a couple times a week and get wasted once or twice a month on average. I smoke pot regularly but it's usually all or nothing. I'll smoke half a blunt or a bit more per day for a few weeks and then I stop for a couple weeks. I do molly every once in a while and coke a couple times a year. 
Every now and then, things escalate and all those things kinda come together. More drinking than average, a lot of smoking every single day and some hard drugs added to that mix while going out. Whenever I have a month like that, I feel pretty bad about myself and blame all of it on the substances. When I finally decide it's been enough, I stop doing all substances for 2-4 weeks and try to have a more regular sleep schedule. I somehow always have the unrealistic expectation that I'll feel like superman after a week of being sober caus of the ""new healthy lifestyle"". But the reality is, it's not just the hangovers and the drugs that make my life hard. Life just happens to be hard sometimes and the drugs and alcohol just help you unwind. The key is to find a healthy balance which I struggle with caus my use always escalates.
To everyone out there who feels the same way, try to keep things under control, dont overdo it but most importantly... if you've been overdoing it and plan on getting healthier, dont expect life to be perfect while clean. It wont be and you deserve some fun but you gotta find the right balance",4.845470731049367,5.5079241068249285,5.68557458861613,81.5831878877799,69.0593471810089,8.619854329646614,28.671297545184785,8.710501217029153,2.0525204747774475,1332,45,265,21,22,437,169,337,0.078,0.8009999999999999,0.121,0.9613,1,0,10,0,0,0,32.0,0,5,0,4,10,9,0,2,27,0,21,15,1,6,7,68,36,30,0,6,13,1,6,2,0,3,9,1,1,0,17,20,6,4,6,5,0,3,7,4,0,2,2,7,21,5,30,27,18,43,0,0,0,0,9,9,0,11,31,173,38,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939743422909612,0.0743944679581386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12363671812523028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062032185538371684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110954294679945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526403113649557,0.0,0.06399749498607861,0.0,0.0,0.08332676807965332,0.0,0.3288185251110176,0.0,0.143739985216687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3482869290924431,0.1455591998415407,0.3446286950734229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07676531305249186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250382784988174,0.07099087054307536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269547053106145,0.053075476296234055,0.0,0.08138518156804389,0.13580629961853652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164462681953876,0.0,0.08444571071516133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569772575207337,0.0,0.19965784593058308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049797540633150325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07372509212303957,0.06603570661864895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20990351652388095,0.07259235587950368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06316189715806389,0.0,0.0,0.04959166105358568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186011393092371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07175337542570995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07128686550386185,0.0,0.0,0.1582408573637234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07558346202287207,0.0,0.07108909380120321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06344646427814296,0.0,0.05908137911447282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434741309511149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734784273680099,0.0,0.0,0.07918726202770503,0.0,0.1242258184082129,0.08510324995742853,0.07766796784353082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14807241687696782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08664257669094455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10088117122304717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128331908168118,0.16364815885852954,0.0,0.0,0.0589709278288528,0.2979698608204264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04784274499929684
addiction,caspasee,2020/01/10,"How can I help my dad? My dad hasn't been to work in over a year initially because of a knee surgery. He's been playing the system ever since and has been drinking every single day and has gained probably over 100 pounds. He doesn't leave the house ever. He literally uses the self starter thing on his truck and let's it run in the driveway for 15 minutes every few days just so it stays working. I have tried to subtly bring things up to him but he gets so mad and tells me I'm unbelievable and that I'm so disrespectful and it breaks my heart. I don't know what to do. He also had my brother on 3 of his credit cards and my brother just checked his credit report and saw the balances and all three are maxed out with a total balance of $40,000. And that's only three he probably has more lmao. What the fuck do you do in this situation. He's unreachable",3.382951598962837,4.467646500000002,4.466853932584272,87.42494814174593,72.76404494382022,7.274675885911843,25.490060501296448,7.61054688173877,1.132050475367329,679,21,146,8,13,222,109,178,0.057,0.828,0.115,0.7572,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,3,9,5,2,0,9,0,17,4,2,2,4,22,25,16,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,10,12,1,0,1,2,3,2,3,2,0,2,5,1,14,3,18,19,5,20,0,0,1,1,19,9,1,0,6,95,24,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14092936334317024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742687338651766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22730479335372256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726362211817953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3188163938847353,0.2969591609213863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16291982539272973,0.09207178812862414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20883087352582466,0.1181218260118595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033433002693644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685022816453033,0.0,0.0,0.1865998682048528,0.0,0.1802049360774493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13402923567117678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3800068984125817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18384410146311989,0.0,0.0,0.1457775145045553,0.1980875086577779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18783546072083115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15403092525310008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341559314123129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964715529694958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15220429699607618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565919753070105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11348496991786455
addiction,PMIFYOUWANTTOTALK,2020/01/10,"1mg Xanax every 4 days for years So this has been my situation for years now, think about 3 years?
How bad will withdrawls be? How long do you think until i am back to normal? I’ve read some bad things about even as low dose as that.
I last took it 6 days ago, weaning myself down isn’t an option either",1.0875897435897457,2.8164445538461567,2.4319230769230766,96.9222435897436,80.38461538461539,4.94871794871795,15.448717948717947,5.46131890053228,-0.9845897435897442,236,3,56,1,6,76,54,65,0.151,0.8490000000000001,0.0,-0.8638,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,8,3,0,0,1,0,7,2,0,2,0,8,10,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,0,5,0,9,6,2,14,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,2,11,34,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20500235431460812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17782841058105806,0.3861930144956498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29829341930920905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15274826610777656,0.0,0.1948506280916563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18851173628140155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20466213325104493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265904712846886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313274544422217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599514044915913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15364210407085013,0.29637038239220564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25694378088999925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4467809835975219
addiction,crispyflakes1173,2020/01/11,"Best friend has a past with heroin, I suspect she is using again. Looking for advice. Hey guys, I feel comfortable posting here since its somewhat anonymous... My best friend of 4 years has had a rocky past when it comes to life in general, she has major rapid cycling depression which she always stays on top of (she has some of the best health coverage due to her moms occupation so she gets a lot of help managing her illness which she takes 100 percent advantage of something I am proud of her for because ive known many with the same bipolar disorder who didnt manage it at all or self managed in some way) anyways she told me once a long time ago that when she was in highschool she started smoking heroin, she said she got clean and only time she slipped up was one time and she realised why and stopped. Okay so fast forward 2 years (we had a big fight and we weren't talking for about a year) she came into my boyfriends work one night with her 45 year old boyfriend (she is 25 this year) she had been trying to contact me but I had her blocked and friends on automatic response when she asked to say they didnt know. She came in to try and get him to talk to me amd convince me to listen to what she had to say. He texts me and tells me she is at his work and i blow it off, then he gets home and we start talking about it and he says ""you should have seen her, she didn't look good she is frail, thin, has major bags under her eyes, and just all around seems to not be in a good place"" she has never been overweight but id say she was a healthy plump, with curves and everything that comes with, but she was wearing her 12 year old sisters pants because she was so thin. I took the next week deciding weather to contact her and ended on deciding I needed to make sure she was okay. I was worried if anything it could be an eating disorder since I know she was always complaining that she needed to lose weight even though she was beautiful and really didn't need to lose any. I'm rambling but this was about 4 months ago and now I'm noticing her current living situation is people with enough money to spend on things like prescription opiates which one of them has been frequently supplying her she says ""its no biggie cos if I wanted I could go and ask for them to perscribe it because its used for bipolar"" which seems good on the surface but knowing that she never pays for Dr visits or prescriptions or even her gas (gets a gas card supplied by her boss to fill her tank) why wouldn't she just go and get her own prescription? Then she starts talking about how she has to stop smoking weed so shes excited to start using sssyrup instead she says ""its like purple drank and I LOVE purple drank have you ever tried it?"" I said no and I repeated what i have told her before that I don't put that kind of stuff in my body because I don't like the risk of addiction she blew it off saying that it was good and that her roommates have it all the time and have been sharing it with her. I don't know if I'm being crazy or not here but it seems to me if she isnt already back in the clutches of a dangerous addiction she is heading straight there. She's been gaining weight again since I've been forcing her to eat and encouraging a normal sleep schedule and regular walks but she seems all around very frazzled she cant stay focused on one thing for longer than 2 to 3 minutes, she has an increasingly worse memory problem and has been in more car accidents in the last 2 years than most people in their whole lives and go figure none of them were her fault. Maybe I'm worrying too much or over thinking but if anyone has had any experience with this I would really appreciate insight. 

Tldr; my friend has been going down a path of prescription and recreational addiction after having dealt with it in the past and I dont know how to help or what to do.",4.346332092401681,5.349029109536083,4.627588774341351,87.4802596410844,70.40463917525773,7.758457426498662,27.77243222604047,7.984000788550335,1.5541949980908747,3063,104,637,39,54,961,344,776,0.098,0.7859999999999999,0.11599999999999999,0.9474,2,0,1,0,1,0,45.0,3,2,5,11,31,35,2,1,23,2,73,22,5,8,8,123,129,58,0,16,23,2,5,3,4,3,10,10,2,2,39,46,7,3,17,0,3,16,19,9,0,4,42,21,108,26,89,79,23,105,0,3,6,1,118,36,0,20,54,432,147,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777857583425347,0.0,0.05312130349865616,0.09637615248331784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059989125709893835,0.0,0.0904660324949595,0.0,0.0,0.07393519409146908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03801073522084001,0.0,0.04473477721229459,0.09678629260210447,0.10164108902427364,0.0,0.0,0.041800539489718534,0.0,0.13255275106688566,0.0,0.046257523611276316,0.0,0.17114671804262074,0.0,0.0,0.060383229324188825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124349854914668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09365501687196796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680626412780182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046821369989926684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12460568376864425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06371112304382821,0.0,0.0,0.1112505096389448,0.0,0.0,0.04814804022315288,0.056169828918123686,0.0,0.07181034693569112,0.04917297316123557,0.0,0.0,0.04885649585243879,0.05317585288052182,0.0,0.0,0.02748674302610556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16799784442679927,0.0,0.14200786576215566,0.0,0.12357928171273196,0.18238295848038685,0.04347775514114893,0.0,0.0,0.05382630489700235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055790450860074725,0.05778359631308155,0.0,0.0,0.07287456343712702,0.0,0.054528888404761916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05660900351556874,0.14937794171010516,0.044311773641559415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03839704465347785,0.07967466128341892,0.0,0.09600417472777513,0.04810810350863927,0.09129972232572876,0.12163294018660285,0.0,0.04621609443690541,0.04906326057975376,0.0,0.03628663788866115,0.055113898785977854,0.05461330477232418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06366738179493997,0.04339072843967354,0.0,0.03996186327083088,0.12092480543500553,0.08385368261496626,0.0,0.057813935767721335,0.051014465019373186,0.05326260248281418,0.0,0.061890782251171415,0.11408623055458765,0.05789308694605156,0.1473466900223329,0.04134427297275346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556822418842604,0.07537466112742061,0.0,0.05679606344241074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05206316744127313,0.0,0.0,0.05201649127682953,0.0,0.054648193504963735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965057372631768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10342022667556866,0.3026124140712163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19795420535208816,0.05671076670145035,0.0,0.0,0.13490486585521866,0.06110445970558542,0.05440063106629802,0.0,0.0,0.041850039970838096,0.0,0.0,0.15390903540424286,0.11588397894109648,0.0,0.09089708215521587,0.0,0.0,0.06223076501970697,0.0,0.0,0.0512349497070241,0.0,0.040872986337869836,0.17477444635228645,0.04751423514444072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07223055998208547,0.034832572119069406,0.053409771917018935,0.0,0.12679421254826212,0.0,0.0,0.10388924097597413,0.060397484432524365,0.11072340950626593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14085231414891414,0.0,0.04485382502866437,0.03206374562102856,0.04314952672732126,0.043605413537741534,0.13239501195256256,0.0,0.0,0.09810536559915403,0.060692530407372915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07915145241697785,0.11041322392475564,0.05539888222228943,0.0386167589176856,0.0,0.0,0.24504858852362646
addiction,thefartpoop49,2020/01/11,"What to do outside? This is a stupid question...but what activities can I do outside?

My whole teenage years was video games, for hours, everyday. The reason I am stopping now is I believe I've done some hearing damage from headphones. 

Also had some bad experiences in my first year of middle school. Ever since then I became a hermit and played games until high school graduation.

Honestly, the only thing I regret was not knowing the hearing loss damage or other possible influences (when I play games, people mistake me a a 14 year old, when I am 19. Possible lack of testosterone through devslopment due to being sedentary?) Otherwise, I would say it was worth it. 

Got no friends also. I've been outside,and I have nothing better to do than walk. It's quite boring. No other people play basketball around me, so not like I could do sports.


Some reccomendations?

.",4.413333333333334,7.101415343949046,5.02703184713376,77.66356263269637,73.90445859872611,7.243991507430997,28.9380042462845,8.238735603445708,2.4170011889596603,687,29,112,12,15,220,106,157,0.221,0.69,0.08900000000000001,-0.9662,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,4,8,15,1,0,7,0,19,0,0,2,1,18,23,9,0,5,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,3,0,0,9,2,0,1,2,8,1,1,4,8,0,1,7,3,14,7,12,13,5,20,0,4,0,0,7,4,0,4,16,81,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24026191265360164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13372773375905045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12542750528346905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16924660642689926,0.0,0.13285746721585548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11993852296443976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15372731329203834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358826769009574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14694407865483708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12777713673534735,0.0,0.0,0.1160596733669748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12014473346673743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33861793122899964,0.0,0.0,0.1587157788531668,0.0,0.0,0.14793653481494862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255703604892309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07338995089076558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414023336476958,0.0,0.1576307207870654,0.0,0.0,0.11424915202179492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20828739988759906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3387011740284652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16828088676396255,0.15977756282517952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544512775893256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946104956194485,0.0,0.304061513606575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12426361556557047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12559072648747102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09979955668165992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677153722758415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10671204602105837,0.0,0.0,0.2902104495800657
addiction,insaneplottwist_,2020/01/11,"How to tell if my boyfriend is doing cocaine? I’ve been with my boyfriend almost a year now and recently found out he had been stealing my adhd medication from me for about 8 months of our relationship. Once I found out, I decided to tell his parents. We separated for about a week but eventually decided to work things out. He promised to get clean, however he still smokes weed every single day. I know he shouldn’t even be doing that, but he has severe depression and social anxiety and it seems to help him out (except sometimes I wish he wouldn’t abuse it as much as he does). He finally got a job and everything seems to be great, except something seems a little off. 

He works 3 days out of the week and has to be up by 3 am in order to get to work on time. These last couple of weeks I notice when he wakes up he brings his travel bag into the bathroom with him in the mornings when he is getting ready. This bag also goes with him to work because he brings extra clothes and stuff to work. I have also noticed after about 10-15 minutes of him being in the bathroom getting ready for work he starts sniffling excessively...way more than usual (he’s had a constant sinus/allergy thing that’s been lingering on for months but it seems much worse on the mornings he works and suddenly after he’s been in the bathroom for a while). 

I’ve tried checking the bag once, but I was rushed and nervous he would walk in and notice me snooping. I don’t want to be caught snooping and then be wrong about my suspicions. 

What should I do? What other signs can I be on the look out for? I hope I’m wrong, but everything in me says I’m not...especially now that he is making really good money and has the means to fund his addiction.",6.706637681159421,5.817011852173916,7.002681159420291,78.99474637681159,65.26086956521739,10.10144927536232,32.210144927536234,9.2995712137729,2.592710144927536,1359,45,275,21,18,442,173,345,0.10300000000000001,0.799,0.098,-0.4405,3,0,3,0,1,0,34.0,2,0,0,7,13,9,0,1,15,0,31,3,1,2,0,51,55,26,0,8,8,1,0,0,0,4,2,1,1,0,14,22,0,0,10,1,3,6,3,5,0,0,11,2,27,4,59,33,5,53,0,1,1,0,35,21,0,7,25,179,41,8,0.0,0.10323612351690416,0.0,0.09498577641070187,0.10471466811588202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872492256320588,0.0,0.0,0.13935744240859715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06665506450425551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05311431899625766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09415778144417768,0.0,0.0,0.09640892151266953,0.0,0.11238472202508742,0.0,0.07504590169484744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624902592286116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05754927971958306,0.0,0.07341172234106483,0.0,0.15661565587190904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09544787757245493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19106954064936224,0.0,0.0,0.18208964558148785,0.0,0.0,0.07308144537355084,0.06968671226274002,0.0960623619127292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05840214975484662,0.0,0.0,0.08654085716818985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08646418710873653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04788498214113345,0.0710234879787636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732826741829004,0.0,0.0,0.07316819208726275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058160695862057486,0.0,0.0,0.09491132762170684,0.0,0.08777543172747337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390944494640859,0.0,0.12810278995300306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975980558645263,0.0,0.18558358769507868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09674879196078552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055818423403453526,0.0,0.08603146450918657,0.09354620962519763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06929015985318195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31728357880451924,0.0,0.09843335909014088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881919908591099,0.0,0.06707778918584928,0.08617490069460194,0.0,0.06167185167467636,0.0,0.0695830210092277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974428076471996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15231286997893104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157720823834411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050806853859784784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05915630766402371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959626134066387,0.0,0.05139218912992069,0.06916062348569511,0.2096739744108657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001964822248168,0.0,0.0,0.4440274262432738,0.0,0.08879405002785727,0.0618954441985305,0.1905283924121568,0.0,0.05610958136900083
addiction,VinceBlackout,2020/01/11,"One addiction instead other I've been addicted to heavy drugs like meth/mephedrone and adderall for 6 years, sooner I went to rehab and stayed sober for few years. Sooner I relapsed, and now i'm drinking alcohol almost every day, and it makes me sick and ashamed. I really force myself to visit NA meetings (I visit them 2-3 times per week), but i'm too lazy and can't even get myself up the bed, and I kinda hate myself for that. I have absolutely no motivation for recovery, i'm just spending my days laying & drinking and praying for a better life. What helps you to fight your laziness and work ur 12-steps program?",5.459499999999999,6.4320972833333325,5.993333333333332,78.81000000000002,67.83333333333334,8.333333333333334,30.833333333333336,8.472884824447931,2.390083333333333,494,19,89,7,8,160,88,120,0.14400000000000002,0.7340000000000001,0.122,-0.4465,0,0,5,0,1,0,18.0,0,2,1,3,5,5,2,1,2,0,3,9,0,2,0,15,10,10,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,7,0,1,0,4,9,3,0,1,2,1,3,2,3,0,1,2,0,14,2,10,8,1,12,1,0,0,0,9,1,0,2,8,51,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4295340793331022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21054089318627095,0.1972743563328397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134573305180094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17423694989629673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541068248862243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3859843110003955,0.22846592582895955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13012146562740104,0.0,0.16598714965324995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10292818465360656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19450392518853868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13204984248144572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13915208432416176,0.09624781703440408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13150390455547595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13349724711831865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12620792297764688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209983572368118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148765426842126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15802737518873494,0.0,0.0,0.18262774363520345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14342366294731967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2537324880189551
addiction,SausageTurantula,2020/01/11,"It would have been his 30th birthday. Maybe this belongs here 20 hours. 
You would have grown older. 
I’m here and you’re forever late. 
I traveled in the dark of night to come pay sacrifice of vice and predilection,
To arrive in the den of the beast without my protector. 

I’m here. And I needed you to be here too. 
We wouldn’t have done this if you’re were here still.  
There was no chance of me and you doing this together and now here I am, 
Without license of guidance,
Awake without direction,
Lacking the basics of connection, all the while
Making an experience out of the people I meet and trying my hardest to channel you into being. 

I’m in Las Vegas and you’re in Paradise,

 Existing universes away from each other.
On a map, we appear only some miles apart;
In reality, we are one, I hope. 

I forgot your remains at home. 
I have brought the more important part of you in me. 
This city of lights was supposed to be a grand visage of us unhinged. 
But here I am. 
Alone in the night
Surrounded by poor imitations,
Unambitious insignificants,
And the dredges of opulence. 

Fuck them. 
And fuck me for staying up this late and doing what we would have done together anyways. I’m here to be you at this point. You took a lot of the flak of our shared actions. 
A bearer of consequence. 
A broad shoulder to handle the burden. 
I never fought and you always did. 
You fought for everyone except you. 
I wish you did. 
Still....
This wouldn’t be us. 
We wouldn’t have had the chance to be here together.  
If you were alive. You’d have to be sober. 
And then. 
It’s just me using. 
Because I wanted to be like you.
But only felt like half of you. 
I miss your half of me. 
And celebrating you without you
In 20 hours,
Is terrible. 
You’re going to miss your own birthday. 
And I’m going to be left over, missing you.",1.1389359795134446,3.6704960760563416,2.7470134443021803,89.73818982074266,86.83098591549296,5.706145966709348,21.589308578745197,7.1686216300943375,0.838478873239437,1397,48,281,22,44,457,174,355,0.075,0.825,0.10099999999999999,0.8561,0,1,0,0,0,0,55.0,8,21,1,0,16,14,4,0,18,0,39,3,1,2,2,53,65,20,0,13,10,0,1,2,0,6,0,0,2,0,11,23,0,1,1,2,2,9,9,9,0,3,16,2,50,5,53,33,8,46,1,3,0,2,35,23,2,6,15,219,61,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12063385270229282,0.0,0.0,0.09691723738827523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943289466374498,0.0,0.0,0.07100259670575297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033363078334592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383904669789497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11129766556654523,0.0,0.11393573067842185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11183508127832947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21536009181076032,0.0,0.0,0.13239181880439718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683477381054667,0.11568679964655285,0.2294104987757549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26277966291286314,0.0,0.1265513511790837,0.0,0.0,0.11380843319088887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902360194584796,0.0,0.0,0.07774853392567428,0.0,0.11701564614260003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636536647150529,0.0898333555672244,0.0,0.0,0.21860938874682848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07892704997351745,0.17717026414612605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261319944137763,0.0,0.08074968829824658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11010732600659168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414775785771198,0.1860355275809612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12940895438799674,0.07907945606844853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802122110752233,0.1005977366353412,0.0,0.0,0.06870047376253928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339414785539295,0.4491142494928629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24822330467955414,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Plzhelpmahseff,2020/01/11,How does a person go about stopping their porn addiction? Plz help me it’s ruining my life,0.6716666666666669,3.114045055555557,2.483333333333338,87.94500000000002,98.44444444444444,6.844444444444445,22.66666666666667,7.793537801064563,1.896533333333334,73,3,14,2,3,24,18,18,0.184,0.612,0.204,0.1027,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,7,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5035561921119495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40422545981984864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625172838786873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3096122941033197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32626465315864284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4033268904581381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3861821300329947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,PsyleXxL,2020/01/11,"The essence of addictions All addictions boil down to the same principle: avoiding our deepest self.

In doing so we are avoiding pain, especially emotional pain. Indeed as emotional pain magnifies physical pain, the latter would be handled, accepted and eventually treated if we were in a state of pure consciousness: just raw presence without any reactions. So healing the root of emotional pain is the key. 

The universal solution is thus:  deeply facing ourselves. This entails facing our emotional pain with the power of Love and meditative presence.

The most important point to understand here is that our deepest self is immensely intelligent and beautiful, there is nothing to fear: even our pain is the expression of a very deep and beautiful intelligence, the embodiment of the Divine itself.

  We are scared of our darkness because we believe it is evil but in truth these hide the most stunning jewel in the universe: our true heart. 

We also have to understand that meditative pure presence itself is a miraculous medicine of the highest kind: when it is applied to emotional pain it will magically transmute it into bliss. That's right the truth is an alchemical one: transmuting darkness into light. This means that pain cannot be disgarded, it is an innate part of yourself and with knowledge it becomes the precious raw fuel that will get transformed into pure blissful love. 

In the end it was all about sitting with ourselves, with no distractions in the presence of Love. But in this modern world everyone is afraid to do that, even regular people who don't use drugs. All our life we are running away of ourselves with hyperactivity: jobs, drugs, hobbies, distractions, etc...

It may sound like a fairytale but this enlightened higher love is real. Many sages and masters have praised it since ancient times.

Now shamanic plant medicines are also showing us that this shadow work was the real key all along.  

For instance Iboga, the miracle plant that cures heavy addictions.  I have taken it...not for addictions but for emotional pain. It put me through very hard work, but I patiently carried on until the end because I knew that there was something beautiful on the other side of all this darkness I needed to face.

Darkness can be faced progressively in your day to day life or in an accelerated way through shadow work and plant medicines. Our choice.

 But the path is worth it.",9.220507246376812,9.98010618357488,8.23894927536232,66.71755434782611,59.6280193236715,11.537681159420293,41.64613526570048,11.20814326018867,5.118378743961354,1936,101,291,48,24,600,210,414,0.111,0.665,0.22399999999999998,0.9964,2,2,3,0,0,0,50.0,15,1,0,7,13,32,1,7,30,0,37,29,5,3,11,64,49,22,0,3,10,0,1,1,0,4,19,1,0,2,31,22,1,2,8,1,1,2,4,18,0,1,6,3,21,14,51,36,10,36,2,0,0,4,25,21,0,5,11,209,52,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717389010046086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09966976024701583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042377695017482835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05854887019269471,0.0,0.0,0.0759757261405356,0.068824227378067,0.0,0.0702099159158476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037861563809065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14453586476340255,0.0,0.0,0.4205894050763133,0.1103887256584181,0.0,0.06949992460044217,0.0823195778123069,0.0,0.0,0.059546561333577386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07012394697439073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032558058982882415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055823789159957414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07384594169282653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061840004022269864,0.0,0.0,0.06489356295618859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803267606951498,0.03044493706486448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249740918610232,0.0,0.0,0.06317965409239595,0.0,0.06788147877345016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04620726378683571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059794839484726525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0422276100599463,0.0,0.6630967866542183,0.0,0.0,0.0674832351896517,0.0,0.04320275939699614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05890970496059105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264579422743281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186077141609565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053218375090141566,0.0,0.0,0.062390185456687876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13002043776383254,0.0,0.0,0.051549264026314205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047974668955613836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03633754219069624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12974838356487242,0.07495967470778486,0.053821877252167714,0.0,0.10283609806072576,0.0,0.0494643317372486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060071361486060286,0.0,0.13610254839803762,0.0,0.0,0.04426820682861141,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,caliharls,2020/01/11,Recovering alcoholic & pillhead My body is dying. I am shaking and sweating daily. My mouth tastes sweet. I wish I could go back to the alcohol and pills but I’m only 20 and I was an honors graduate and I had everything and I’ve lost almost everything due to my addictions,0.7588888888888903,3.2229311851851894,3.5759259259259264,80.1116666666667,98.25925925925928,7.5851851851851855,24.51851851851852,8.167268648758528,2.6767185185185185,220,10,39,7,9,77,40,54,0.079,0.769,0.152,0.6124,0,0,2,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,1,4,0,1,2,0,5,8,3,0,0,9,9,6,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,3,2,8,2,2,5,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,24,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25610110066006275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5021231801925743,0.23524177577381886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25453932490989706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806415362732712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609468548353454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875671594387723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438133221447949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4222678738337341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335123396291696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25644656080266337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17866977500940284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701502303786074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,LilYungGoated420,2020/01/11,"Struggling to quit smoking... Hey guys, I’m trying so hard to quit, but the pain is just to much to handle... I have not had any tobacco in 2 weeks.. But I have resorted to smoking things such as dried leaves from my neighbour’s garden, and then.. it gets worse, when I’m out of papers, Ive been smoking my own semen, sauces, juices in my vape pen..

Who would have guessed smoking would have taken over my life.. I hope I’m free of this curse one day.",3.79677536231884,4.191209184782611,4.24217391304348,91.9586231884058,71.28260869565217,7.0028985507246375,25.11594202898551,6.42735559955562,0.6057985507246384,343,9,78,2,6,108,66,92,0.165,0.753,0.08199999999999999,-0.8117,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,1,1,0,10,2,0,0,0,10,17,7,0,3,4,0,1,0,1,2,2,0,1,1,4,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,1,3,1,8,3,13,12,2,8,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,2,4,47,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15557307446379007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14753926978334034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11952413486507026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252018586617341,0.2265206399402211,0.0,0.0,0.20493513165947613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22722260896225505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422369356177121,0.0,0.0,0.16158870915182275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16817403421308144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550220964489383,0.0,0.24342995937909834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4866552073571304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391625804868984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15198621474844845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553214401131921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18350741702087894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331386164623165,0.3250266931452893,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,amethystlover2000,2020/01/11,"Anti addiction camping im 17 and have huge problem with addiction and when i get 18 im going on a very long camping in a remote area so i can get rid of my addiction problem.But don,t worry i will bring food and water.",-1.1239285714285714,0.9538504166666684,2.5717857142857166,88.83750000000002,96.91666666666666,5.242857142857143,21.44047619047619,6.868970318607317,0.9198476190476188,172,7,36,3,7,63,35,48,0.175,0.774,0.051,-0.6808,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,3,5,0,0,0,5,7,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,4,6,0,8,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,18,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6621148364913879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448084046616314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21154791181517332,0.0,0.11505937914793682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4373705231903304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791655832587165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3874426268751788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16704590571112232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2056020526812246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Aggravating_Trade,2020/01/11,Any tips? About a year ago I suffered a life altering injury and was given meds to ease the effects of said injury movement/pain and was put on the meds indefinitely.  Durring the time I was on them all I asked for was more and then I finally realized that I might be addicted to the medicine.  So what I did was left town and stopped. It was hard for a day or two but other than that it seemed painless.  After a month or two I have been almost craving the drugs again.  If there is anyone who could supply me with advice or resources it would be quite appreciated.,3.464007936507933,5.131056035714291,4.434761904761906,85.43246031746034,73.46428571428571,7.120634920634919,25.83730158730159,7.793537801064563,1.3516932539682536,444,15,90,6,9,144,79,112,0.078,0.836,0.086,0.598,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,2,4,1,0,0,9,0,15,3,0,1,1,20,19,11,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,8,5,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,10,2,9,0,11,4,2,15,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,8,10,69,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20133433419136698,0.0,0.18047242429857824,0.16371245373971122,0.0,0.1849357389614784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12559239739863398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12913631787762678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726559076719787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474562548323331,0.0,0.0,0.11910679702384107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21417641707780066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20231381589111472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16544183230311454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20066121512609764,0.0,0.13044875178353274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4102876648495283,0.0,0.0,0.19592201174398274,0.0,0.0,0.14741411520120642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19651827478789696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18565982601741166,0.0,0.19643564417934412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756780971133411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16813064150851315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15440525455699552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769153530933663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3608215777053307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13119520119841874,0.0,0.0,0.11893133512789107
addiction,zombi-11,2020/01/11,"Going to rehab...scared. Well, my addiction began innocent and without me even knowing im addicted with weed. Then it progressed to MDMA and pills... then benzos.

Benzodiazepines are what almost killed me, and I got hooked on them after 1 Xanax. That’s the power of addiction when you have mental health problems. Then cocaine came along... that was fun, going pub every weekend with the lads, doing bumps in the toilets and then believing you’re O’Sullivan when playing pool.

How did heroin get into my life? I’ve got no clue... well... that’s a lie. I know exactly how, but I never used it at first just been around it too much, to a point where I couldn’t go a day without being around heroin. That’s when I started snorting it (I’m not a fan of needles or smoking brown dust).

So, here I am now. Almost died 3 times, and apparently I was brought back once which I still refuse to believe because the doctors were reluctant to say as they only treated me after a stranger did CPR on me because I had a seizure and then dropped still on the floor. But let’s not get into that.

It’s Saturday 2am, I’m in the U.K. and on Monday the 13th I am admitting myself into an addiction and mental health hospital for a month long program. I am scared, shitless. 

I’ve been crying almost non stop for the past few days, because the true and normal me is fighting the addicted me. Drugs have been my coping mechanism since I was 15, and before that I didn’t have a coping mechanism. I want to go, get help, get healthy, come back to my family, get back to work, find myself the one, which was the one every time while I was using drugs, until all of my relationships ended because 2 toxic people may relate, but won’t work as a couple.

I would just like to say to anybody else who has been battling addiction for any amount of time: please don’t be afraid to seek help. Once you seek help, that’s when the scary part starts but guess what, you CAN get through it. Many people have, even those who didn’t want to and people say you can only recover from addiction if you want to. 

You don’t need to want to, you just have to come to a point in life where you realise drugs aren’t the problem, addiction is. Drugs just tend to bring the illness to people, but addiction is the devil, not the drug.

I wish everyone the very best in life, and I will post an update once I’m back in a month. Feel free to message me, ask me anything, or if you just need to talk I am happy to talk. 

P.s: During addiction treatment they take away your phone, because you need to focus on nothing and nobody else but yourself.

Treatment is very expensive, I am blessed to have a loving family with amazing insurance who insured me and helped me make the first steps, but the last steps are hardest. Getting to the centre is going to be hard, but once I’m in, I’m in.

Take care everybody and thank you for taking the time to read this long ass text! Again, remember, everything will be fine if you want it to be :)",5.113568118203091,5.540527687606112,5.64384527141743,82.95233974211907,68.38879456706282,8.540742440233103,28.82214472537053,8.441846121484758,1.9354378103060617,2324,76,464,32,37,750,272,589,0.106,0.7609999999999999,0.132,0.9481,3,0,7,0,2,0,90.0,0,13,3,7,30,24,3,2,36,0,52,26,1,5,4,86,104,44,2,17,23,0,2,1,0,5,24,3,0,0,23,27,0,2,6,5,2,12,14,8,2,4,20,7,53,17,68,72,6,83,2,0,1,2,36,24,1,10,46,308,76,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5535646299534853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15254310842890725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03453137254019687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04178668295668121,0.09040791919726364,0.04747138833701233,0.0,0.04770841943143653,0.15618326500528984,0.0,0.15477163766743746,0.0,0.04320907790224472,0.11442079431199982,0.05328929073074713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0580774990604006,0.05177244168734746,0.0,0.0,0.0874829996080988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056185853269882416,0.055778203751414464,0.06549633999015618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052700449589227566,0.0,0.0,0.05197432461602602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944368369672732,0.0,0.08483845932653952,0.0,0.04497500640815698,0.0,0.0,0.06707792879286573,0.0,0.08556677525331245,0.048521385885880584,0.045636773664297685,0.0,0.09573959791791478,0.0,0.02567532215244773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04641096678428664,0.08638496090901689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18570904444469166,0.0,0.14429400867579076,0.0,0.08122500135094415,0.0,0.05593864961229401,0.0,0.0,0.05405505080974636,0.04548789308367611,0.0,0.0,0.10795112749853973,0.0,0.0,0.1361440234072234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054849892755476734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056179295583986495,0.0,0.05581347738775602,0.04139155600621108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05192483443525976,0.10759985170781926,0.024807990696897732,0.0,0.0,0.08987540317559563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045829912261276334,0.0,0.033895289694225866,0.05148180361214197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234631427261216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08106241834908587,0.0,0.03732831177255795,0.1129556649479008,0.039163794574780635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04975251073309047,0.04872369479690995,0.0,0.0,0.2163113550889326,0.0688181522784853,0.07723923687328077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054988567301506835,0.048474176684585,0.14081469781560368,0.0,0.0,0.05573995010036223,0.09600488971323402,0.0,0.04863212040298652,0.0,0.0,0.09717704054672137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05079261098113458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054517502379323936,0.05752256039209295,0.0,0.0,0.12114418541792205,0.05083850681279529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042004805583013935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188309037602822,0.0,0.08110414154951077,0.04245340862749973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145381710623964,0.08162826366602884,0.0,0.046750360677382745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11843826862828613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771327904647068,0.0,0.08379577065836524,0.14975346432499548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09131260395134458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058393193908948815,0.0978980362955661,0.0,0.07393524353576279,0.0,0.0,0.03607185197436127,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Felixleclair9902,2020/01/11,Molly with Xanax? Good idea? Any Dangers? My buddy is off the molly and he wamts to pop half a yellow bar. Want to know if there's any dangers,-1.16,0.8274363333333383,0.91,99.225,102.33333333333334,2.4000000000000004,12.666666666666668,3.1291,-1.6231333333333335,110,2,24,0,5,36,26,30,0.19699999999999998,0.6829999999999999,0.12,-0.5775,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,3,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,1,4,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,12,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6427452994614283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3963802039936197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5334886909204158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25971926105614035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27874170121940595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Herley11,2020/01/11,Huffing My 50 year old husband died from huffing computer duster.  It obviously kills and I’m shocked at the young  people who do this and have no idea it can kill you.  I was shocked that he didn’t know or thought it wouldn’t happen to him. He left me with a life sentence of sadness.  A four dollar can of chemicals ruined our lives together.,3.0074019607843177,5.021489250000002,3.753529411764706,88.33754901960786,75.61764705882355,6.886274509803924,28.98039215686275,7.793537801064563,1.8021392156862759,271,12,55,4,6,86,57,68,0.312,0.672,0.016,-0.9729,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,3,0,7,1,0,0,1,9,11,3,3,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,3,0,1,0,3,6,0,1,3,0,6,0,6,7,0,5,0,2,0,0,7,2,0,1,3,33,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2833335785342433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414152816298861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3081866850539681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6040738165010865,0.0,0.1500350794155793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2966181041035668,0.0,0.19282979728988928,0.0,0.0,0.2410662815173616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864702857986248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18926561610618825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21673355539867767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17580471204648304
addiction,lockedcomputer,2020/01/12,"Locked fiance's computer... Help! I hope you can give me some ideas/perspective. I just don't know what else to do anymore. I (F 35) am pregnant (33 weeks), we are getting married in 3 weeks and moving into our first house in 4 weeks. Since Christmas I've been in terrible pain and can hardly walk due to some medical issues with the pregnancy. I knew already that everything would be a bit too much with the wedding and the move but at least the pregnancy was okay until recently. My fiance (M 36) has had a gaming problem for quite a few years (we've been together 3 years, it was already bad when we started). He usually plays at least 6 hours each day and up to 14 hours. He has been trying to finish his MA degree for 6 years (only the thesis is left, this is possible where we live). He used to work a bit (just enough to barely support himself) but in April I offered to pay for all our expenses so he could concentrate on and finish his thesis. He has completed one big paper which was the only other requirement so the thesis is the only thing left. We moved in together a year and a half ago and are excited for this baby (it was planned, it is his first and my third (I have two kids from my previous marriage)). I do understand that his inability to finish his degree is paralyzing him (but he has made a lot of progress this past year) and I understand that baby, first house, marriage is a lot. But I can't take any more gaming. I work full time, I take care of my older kids, the pregnancy issues are driving me insane and I am organizing the whole wedding and move by myself. Today I made him promise to focus on his work and not spend all day gaming while I kept packing etc.  I checked in on him every hour or so (to ask if he was hungry, to cuddle a bit, to ask him to help carry up a box) and all he did was play video games. After 6 hours I told him in a nice way that I am about to lose it. We have talked so many times about gaming less and I tried to support him/ yell / cry / try to show interest / ignore it... nothing has ever worked. He then went to sleep for two hours because this stressed him out too much. When I woke him up I told him I was scared to marry and have a baby with a gaming addict and that we need to work this out. I asked him what we should do and suggested we put the computer stuff and the play station away for a few days so he could either help with the packing or focus on his thesis (I know that is hard to do without a computer but maybe he could go to a library or something). Since I am gone most of the day that was the only idea I had to keep him from gaming. He still has his phone on which he can play but I hope it is not quite as entertaining. He thinks all of this is ridiculous and has left the house to go on a walk an hour ago. So here we are and I hope you have some insights on what I should do. I will not break up with him. I really really love him and he is a wonderful, smart, caring and great guy apart from this gaming addiction. I know I sound absolutely stupid and enabling etc. I have told him quite often that I would post on reddit and he said you would all say to ""drop that zero and get a hero"" but I really want to make this work. I believe in him and in our relationship and I think we can work this out, I just need some ideas on how to do that. I don't have any addictions and I never play video games so I just don't know how to help him limit it or if it needs to be cold turkey. He says he is so stressed out about this thesis that he has been playing video games to calm him down. But it's been SIX YEARS and he is super smart , a great writer and will get an A on it for sure. And he is almost finished. He has thought about just quitting but after all that money that we put into it and all the fights and worries etc., I would feel so horrible if he quit right at the finish line. Especially since I don't think it is just the thesis. What happens if he gives up and then just keeps playing video games 24/7. There is enough other stuff in our lives to keep stressing him so I think he needs to quit gaming before being able to help with the baby etc. So my questions are: Is it ridiculous/mean/controlling to lock his laptop and some equipment from his PC so he can't use it? What else can I do to help him? How do we proceed from here?",3.480388477125853,4.098034937639202,4.605654459819637,88.26257932016505,72.11804008908686,7.670261783927855,24.18679031728066,7.755146713633716,0.9704121873744932,3346,85,743,40,61,1100,331,898,0.079,0.784,0.13699999999999998,0.9956,0,0,1,0,1,0,97.0,16,3,0,24,37,42,3,4,43,1,89,8,1,8,10,160,146,74,0,22,29,1,3,0,0,8,5,5,0,3,49,60,0,7,18,25,5,13,11,13,0,10,28,9,102,29,102,104,36,112,0,1,0,2,120,44,0,23,51,520,151,15,0.04599225999939479,0.0,0.0,0.15041505633566907,0.0,0.0,0.08153872695057747,0.0,0.04605460482120148,0.0,0.10150720515865333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625526278827717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045611963430475064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289896638021133,0.0,0.04321124224205005,0.0,0.03840161600151107,0.028036454810907413,0.0,0.039136025769472615,0.051817527382658164,0.0,0.0,0.15063490808530472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378434858566094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048222009570000966,0.0,0.05158423039056785,0.11016323155577899,0.0,0.050520337979183004,0.11864481141948782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684126326318383,0.0,0.0,0.09504459817086623,0.20517410961679905,0.0,0.04160263227602993,0.03875046267939845,0.0,0.04133487768941161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02325506856848488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11736297858098488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208717276746826,0.08823993330311983,0.05227692249940734,0.0,0.0,0.10141325803254776,0.0,0.04553956829221735,0.04067080362569362,0.0,0.08240006231788997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18496585441417093,0.0,0.0,0.13704207512087846,0.27175866998479964,0.15920667900081426,0.0,0.10383932668437787,0.0,0.0960079405501702,0.0,0.12264010171248105,0.0,0.0,0.10110457317662967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149912175182637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08122401639345975,0.0,0.0,0.05145357457483085,0.0,0.07820194950540739,0.041509810307171637,0.08703797691550272,0.030700190685347864,0.046628932868735165,0.0462054069492971,0.05009905423237564,0.0,0.04633236331823416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19552997505657405,0.06761920607363127,0.13641071209496336,0.03547206624442504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04413081388753093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031165545664634236,0.1399167448805974,0.048939007334791486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043904816302116303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051849362685268734,0.04404787164450229,0.0,0.0,0.044008381429033,0.0,0.09246984889368473,0.05152185702249761,0.2935105788512493,0.0,0.0,0.08839145836420978,0.0,0.045411808201813536,0.04937847511653716,0.0,0.039277138742043916,0.0437491713809891,0.07314978229133136,0.046046275674022315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141358182272008,0.0,0.04602547505952554,0.0,0.0,0.0354070887260579,0.0,0.0,0.03255355834843472,0.0,0.03672947824614089,0.0,0.1580519353130421,0.0,0.1053002682950173,0.0,0.10438294322874768,0.04334716075339001,0.0,0.06916091142433038,0.036966836431668565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030555213899444825,0.11787993248619134,0.0,0.03651271705422473,0.05363691333120912,0.0,0.043595284745618315,0.13184272615327186,0.0,0.09367717658505953,0.0,0.08985551016530571,0.0957591293270707,0.0,0.07944509153501947,0.05065397665178326,0.0,0.02712742656601036,0.03650651522403013,0.1106766502834722,0.0,0.0,0.042635285796174496,0.0,0.05134871581103018,0.0,0.04433489740179113,0.04987664407088368,0.23438039131312602,0.046707372546813265,0.0,0.13068632768466146,0.0,0.0,0.1777050451448051
addiction,throwawayJay710,2020/01/12,"Struggling... Well don’t know where to begin...  Hadn’t touched a proper opiate besides suboxone in over 10yrs until recently I was diagnosed with cancer.

For the past two years my relationship has been nose diving and the stress from it has been piling up, add on a dick head slum lord, other family with cancer, moving across the country, money problems from it all, etc...  This relapse has been a long time in the making.

I remember times over the summer where I was hit with almost panic attack like symptoms that would also be accompanied by intense heroin cravings.  Like so bad where I’d see words on signs transform to words like “heroin, needle, dope” shit like that..

What’s kept me clean up until now was the fear/dislike of fent that appears in almost all dope these days, but I was finally able to find my way around that little issue.

Been using a strong, rather unknown, full opiate agonist for about two and a half weeks for cancer related pain and suffering, and I can tell my fingers are starting to slip from the edge.  Last time I was hooked for years and afraid of falling back into that..

Not really sure what I’m expecting, just needed to vent if anything.  Know no matter how stable you feel, life can have different plans for you.",7.523770221195114,7.506226038626611,7.099570815450642,76.08513700891385,63.29184549356224,9.572664245625619,30.369428854407396,9.057496981413335,2.484785671838891,989,29,172,14,13,310,156,233,0.183,0.736,0.081,-0.9816,1,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,2,0,2,13,17,2,4,12,0,20,12,5,3,3,39,33,12,0,6,5,0,3,4,0,1,7,0,1,0,12,11,0,1,5,0,1,3,4,10,1,3,11,5,12,7,34,19,4,40,1,1,1,1,4,17,2,4,23,117,24,0,0.131843437926186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640443166758496,0.0,0.0,0.1054351496758488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084959156242982,0.1173686121863659,0.0,0.14999094417772404,0.0,0.10137946555549693,0.11008376356428408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502811032690677,0.0,0.0,0.13381831421251308,0.0,0.13774833118754248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470402845265643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12429025951131994,0.14836052232457414,0.06666400366754277,0.0,0.0,0.14442804179180374,0.12050251371926535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13530940414502945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13761029519438586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449154109609086,0.10746999881909172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09312491928094838,0.2576481764057934,0.13214176131596314,0.0,0.11667729369363733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08800651859680296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401287093166293,0.0,0.09776023864013096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402907136069993,0.15468986715074592,0.0,0.0,0.12585947989650526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12615636425013646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08446228237968807,0.0,0.13017948924124306,0.14155051130347926,0.1493529138281663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10506215019971836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13533539439011724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331946395860533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15102621269196773,0.1378313875998588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242608799424335,0.1370358139560687,0.0,0.0,0.11523697598224568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23063690673480314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575837625061511,0.0,0.0,0.11387039900273803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10465118421891242,0.1057568532308058,0.0,0.11854308445600152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09365779552972933,0.0,0.0,0.16980570273510873
addiction,Plenty_Supermarket,2020/01/12,"I am addicted to being on the computer and don't know how to stop it I always had the thought in my mind that I was addicted to being on the internet/computer but everything I do at some point revolves around using it. I study Computerscience so I am bound to look up stuff that I need for programming(I like the problem solving but hate being on the computer). All my information for classes is online. I am learning an instrument and when I need to look something up it is online. I want to cook a new recipe since I really like making meals. Where do I get the recipe? online.

​

I feel like I can't escape it and don't like this feeling.",2.748488372093025,4.920714643410854,4.427306201550387,82.46793604651165,76.98449612403103,8.020930232558143,26.25387596899225,8.841846274778883,2.2237178294573643,515,20,99,12,12,173,73,129,0.092,0.759,0.149,0.7587,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,5,6,1,0,8,0,15,4,0,3,1,24,28,8,0,4,2,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,4,2,2,6,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,4,16,4,16,22,2,13,0,0,2,0,1,10,0,1,7,74,24,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3811451224223737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454588686622672,0.18941039672232096,0.2124175844631254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556211125396893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15711113702028334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17678195599041197,0.12488682735724799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09133285908634127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17259217823349227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607294939329024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34162026038465315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29359869008115475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11668939488721575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765118408867787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592440485734904,0.0,0.16883600552306804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652552993043097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672729479615431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11199002958897844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446075661265707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458000311814153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14615194643067314,0.0,0.0,0.20011967864863134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13878242328895582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15098276999310833,0.0,0.0,0.10310955470207893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124175844631254,0.0
addiction,tabkid,2020/01/12,I need to stop masturbation any tips I wouldn't say I masturbate constantly it's once a day. A few years ago I was abusing pills and some of you guys definitely know how masturbation goes while on uppers and just pills in general. During this time I would masturbate so often that the tip of my dick would hurt and know even masturbating at all still makes it hurt. I have gone on breaks for a month but it doesn't heal. I just wanna hear suggestions to how to stop. I he e quit pills for 3 months now is it similar to quitting pills like distracting myself and finding better shit to do,3.9502564102564084,5.492910521367524,4.809914529914535,83.7323076923077,71.99145299145297,8.960683760683763,24.96581196581197,9.444778638647367,1.95877094017094,469,14,97,11,9,152,82,117,0.17300000000000001,0.753,0.075,-0.8658,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,3,9,6,1,1,4,0,8,7,2,3,1,24,14,9,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,3,5,2,0,1,6,4,0,2,3,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,2,2,11,2,14,9,3,19,0,2,0,1,6,5,2,2,13,61,17,0,0.0,0.21054910860270534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15752307116729675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084419786994842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571639460809426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19203391483247426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146037948580587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11737121787318855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624174088906332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17595400186640076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20028430242181985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3804696757305135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19532194665603145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681675577887868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11861819537871468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2836818290784807,0.0,0.0,0.13176459280717506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892479959018059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37801822953620334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14131663312249013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18240967270810213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14191392071184536,0.2971354878213077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10362010337722527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25247035937832724,0.0,0.0,0.11443496654908455
addiction,xnotacopx,2020/01/12,"Not really addicted anymore but Will I ever feel great again.  I have beat heroin addiction,  beeb sober from that for 10 years.  I've beat weed addiction,  I just smoke here and there like 6 times a year.  I take acid/ molly a few times a year as well.  I awake this morning wanting to feel great.  Anyone have experience where you feel content with sobriety? I just want that amazing feeling of wellbeing again. I don't want drugs for the feeling either...",2.6020000000000003,5.413713729411764,3.2732352941176517,86.73455882352944,82.29411764705883,6.6941176470588255,23.794117647058826,7.908726449838941,1.5843176470588238,357,13,66,7,10,112,62,85,0.045,0.652,0.303,0.9735,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,2,9,5,0,0,4,0,4,4,0,0,1,16,13,3,0,3,5,0,5,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,6,8,5,7,12,2,9,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,9,40,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5392047641838446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16350881743252213,0.11528240345168347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19119928869891364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491362505344112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612765470081904,0.0,0.0,0.4168214296169331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3635441372340065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08054817841667226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562128691154968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12396329810253348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19227649085715628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917375028959419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14823981523992585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31851667411456364
addiction,AreaCodeUnknown,2020/01/12,"Addiction to alcohol and stupid decisions Well I don’t know how to start this but here we go. I never really drank in high school until mid way through the 11th grade, by then I had an amazing girlfriend who I still love to this day. It started out with I’d get drunk and say something stupid or embarrassing but then it’s like I learned to control it to a point where little things would tick me off and I would go on a full rage texting her and saying mean and diminishing things to her, she put up with me until the beginning of college. I had cheated on her and  every time i messed up I would feel like shit the next day and the days that follow because Democrats the guilt, but my problem was to deal with that I’d drink again, causing more problems again. After she dumped me I stayed away from booze and went to the gym more and felt better about myself. Then I met a new girl who I liked but didn’t wanna date date if you know what I mean, she was really sweet and I liked hanging out with her. I missed just that connection and being able to lay In bed with someone and just talk or watch movies or just hold. Then it started again, one night while drinking with my friends I wanted her to come back over but it was very late and she couldn’t so I said mean stuff and I said stuff like oh I’ll have my ex back any day now and lots of just mean embarrassing things. We talked the next day I told her about my problems and that it wouldn’t happen again because I want to change and she believed me, the other night after that I drank again and hit up her best friend (yes I know very STUOID) but I did and she didn’t find out tell the next day, anyway she found out and said I’m a liar and I took advantage of her trust and forgiveness and it really shook me because I remember that I promised I wouldn’t let that happen again and then I drank and did it again. Basically this is just a vicious cycle I’m trying to break -drinking>start problems> drink to forget the new problem> new problems > drink again to fix it. It’s horrible I want to change and get out of it but it’s so hard because I work a lot and when I’m off all I want to do is have some drinks with my friends but one turns into 2 and so on.  Basically I know I don’t have a lot of self restraint and I just need to quit it all together forever but I don’t know how and it’s so hard because I just make new problems to drink about and then make new ones after I drink then depression and all over again.

If anyone has any advice I could really use it. Thx",2.295416666666668,3.971987859848486,3.08789393939394,93.8222575757576,76.65151515151516,6.4357575757575765,21.58181818181818,7.213258583274324,0.40154818181818097,2002,52,453,23,45,631,222,528,0.153,0.7140000000000001,0.133,-0.9084,0,0,10,0,0,0,32.0,2,1,0,6,34,38,8,4,18,1,28,16,1,7,4,121,77,63,0,20,21,1,4,5,4,5,2,5,1,2,34,48,13,2,17,9,0,9,9,20,1,3,21,11,67,18,61,46,11,89,0,2,1,1,40,25,1,9,57,308,101,5,0.057444600297874876,0.0,0.0,0.06262309346615093,0.0,0.056134198572263774,0.0,0.061390807699921925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781285961236697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04016660018175855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05397109294046163,0.08834270357100606,0.0,0.1750884758004065,0.0,0.0,0.06472039314789389,0.060284563962420774,0.050805080777542685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059011428349331936,0.1215375404659466,0.04948343666409428,0.0,0.0,0.06442900384757465,0.04586483902818457,0.0,0.0,0.22228208951350412,0.05922286052317442,0.04947695006216225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3939168723292497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04839955331625481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029045715927720574,0.041038433930775685,0.05515582480225187,0.0,0.05250332397557672,0.0,0.0,0.06298503920673022,0.13314466707793787,0.0,0.060024865434394926,0.0,0.0652941803212313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159614065940982,0.0,0.1029181571950032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06069337414211535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578502500881442,0.0,0.064800011246673,0.0,0.0,0.058740995795322326,0.0,0.14032265033350938,0.057574580736452725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14651203480472047,0.051845994555767855,0.0,0.07668943352692632,0.0,0.0,0.2502960407440944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04259444324298682,0.044304817096997406,0.2774017646382457,0.18327895233471475,0.1078157319512215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11677784351934255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054303715017201784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3298003465340238,0.0,0.05774768960443024,0.0,0.061099403412406675,0.0,0.0,0.14720192761550446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06507353398191346,0.0,0.16392890869315072,0.09136450362859733,0.0,0.0581370023222916,0.0,0.0,0.059927246312490634,0.0,0.058966056704680775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04867262341761549,0.04422365979855203,0.0,0.0,0.16263833502628386,0.06122830067025847,0.04587533200209814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13152064768171545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234358751329304,0.05020911263359233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11449091974341613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033496408390929364,0.0,0.0,0.05489077731888322,0.0638230645918977,0.039001112839660415,0.06248322949186081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04961369074837081,0.0,0.0947956226619445,0.13552925437583832,0.04559684989040093,0.0,0.0,0.05164959448694515,0.053251719988953235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04182035317874045,0.0,0.0,0.12242098765653064,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,AlbertaKid,2020/01/12,"Addicted to giving away money? Little backstory first, I spent my entire childhood from 2 years old until 17 living below the poverty line. At 17 I was offered a job working on the oil fields, without hesitation I dropped out of school and moved away. My addiction began about 6 months after I began working there and it started innocently enough, giving a few dollars to homeless people and small loans to close friends. At 19 I was clearing over $100,000 a year and I started giving away large sums ($2000+) without even being asked. At 22 I walked away from that job in hopes I would stop once I was making less money, instead I know give away the vast majority of my money to the point I sometimes don't eat for a couple days to give away more. I'm not sure if this is even classed as an addiction but any help or advice is greatly appreciated.",9.652441558441561,7.0335494303030295,9.336190476190476,70.11,60.75757575757576,11.367965367965365,39.935064935064936,9.23628265651192,3.6890519480519486,676,27,123,8,7,220,113,165,0.034,0.835,0.131,0.9222,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,3,5,4,0,0,9,0,8,4,0,1,2,19,23,9,0,3,6,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,3,6,1,1,1,0,6,2,4,0,0,1,6,1,14,4,30,15,5,36,0,0,0,0,9,19,0,3,14,81,17,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3227421545042802,0.0,0.09643339320914704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06710887322256325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09225672619584398,0.0,0.5563042594173514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10919256973063783,0.0,0.06364336621466117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097892402999642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10196751287718248,0.0,0.13036041976473625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394102179447056,0.0,0.0,0.07624343306216347,0.0,0.0,0.4733360290077805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880005695600488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06614616893818485,0.0,0.0,0.0980160179433697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19585836314604796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0542344439649077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890783736517897,0.08714025938272958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06587269869693081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876906065304311,0.10488605156504223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035528272672966,0.10509581749440994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06841543651776769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328879072228816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09987402595103173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976015363048071,0.0,0.13969885481023026,0.0,0.0,0.08250469668218724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300901381821924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902567556169195,0.0,0.14368704514554334,0.0,0.0,0.0701026678922933,0.0,0.0,0.12709922028090265
addiction,Im18DontBanMe,2020/01/12,"I don’t know if I’m an addict, could use some advice... A lil backround info:  I’m 15 years old, started smoking weed in 7th grade was a daily smoker by that summer and was also drinking and taking pills whenever I could get them.  I quit weed for the first time about 50 days ago, because that was the cheapest stuff I could get to dull my emotions but it worked pretty well.  The following weeks have been absolutely hell.  I told myself that since I’m quitting weed (the thing I have the biggest problem with I still think about it all day every day) It’s okay for me to do kratom/armodafinil/adderall/alcohol/DXM/literally anything else I can get since those things don’t really fuck me up as much and I don’t revolve my life around them and I’m cycling between substances.  Well now I’m thinking that I’m not addicted to weed, I’m addicted to feeling anything but how I feel when I’m sober.  I mean, I’m so depressed lonely and miserable, social anxiety off the charts, but I think it may be the drugs that cause this.  I keep telling myself I have to do drugs because my life is so miserable sober that its not worth living unless Im high.  Well now I realize I’m tired of only having a couple hours a day where I get to feel okay.  I hate just having to stay alive being unbearably miserable and utterly alone, but I don’t know what else to do.  I don’t have the energy when I’m sober to do schoolwork and get good grades, I sleep 10-12 hours a day when I’m not on stims, and no matter how much sleep I get, I ALWAYS FEEL HORRIBLE.  Like i’ve just been hit by a bus.  Life is so unbearable, and drugs are the only thing that give me one fucking second of peace.  I guess I just need to know, is it possible that the drugs in the end are causing this?  Maybe it’s not depression and anxiety, but instead the “withdrawal” from not having that dopamine/serotonin boost.  I’m scared to just quit because I don’t think I can live like this.  I have nobody to help me, my family and friends don’t understand.  Also, quitting drugs will make me super unpopular since everyone in high school does it.  The fact that I can do more than everybody else and started so early is kind of the only thing I have going for me, pathetic I know.  

Anyways thanks for reading.  I just need to know, should I quit? Why? And am I an addict?",4.128717948717949,4.9542748525641045,5.040245726495726,84.97524038461542,70.77350427350427,8.243162393162393,27.44551282051281,8.472884824447931,1.7706205128205132,1813,60,375,28,32,592,218,468,0.152,0.7140000000000001,0.134,-0.9461,0,3,8,0,0,0,53.0,0,0,2,8,28,25,4,4,22,2,44,19,2,6,2,69,96,32,0,8,17,0,4,2,1,3,14,0,0,0,28,15,1,1,17,2,1,2,13,13,3,3,6,4,47,12,37,81,5,38,1,7,0,2,8,11,3,4,26,236,75,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27481326443918513,0.0,0.061584399230690964,0.05586522788358105,0.0673513848357433,0.0,0.06527181758860646,0.0,0.10079739072356374,0.052439378319539806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09642336231804012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103723523253064,0.056102968970040995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11525293530827972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12948197195547895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15095389063372455,0.06973267852073066,0.0,0.2032199813216254,0.0,0.10856156577786093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055151003960758935,0.0,0.0,0.06173759756910269,0.3654277385141261,0.0,0.1579404600832908,0.07089130225757664,0.05581881347006151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05309877917252583,0.06022025129898876,0.0,0.0,0.05941156193931677,0.0,0.12746332974407662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053606507310296175,0.0,0.0,0.04869066476003006,0.11652570413404625,0.1975584601206076,0.060456474693291365,0.03581687251815762,0.0528598894801914,0.0,0.0,0.06942587223088115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06222120804743564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04224233888187513,0.13317247164449866,0.0,0.0,0.12412801128018434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807460803419807,0.0,0.0,0.05601687677387175,0.0,0.06562774711736068,0.1731763001404271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13354297267639156,0.06157876188878129,0.0,0.11129921584845677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04206769501677152,0.0,0.06331410080122181,0.06864946721917711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09265688827592088,0.09346007476380797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06613102000947811,0.0,0.042705359178007433,0.1437932832006538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104787063419972,0.0,0.06411606228019287,0.0,0.0603035722843861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3351584371212436,0.0630390855819676,0.0,0.040373526782119834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06309604723847684,0.06378165988212177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15639742569947984,0.0,0.12613508936478485,0.06424302397691148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921463572317292,0.0671730996184046,0.05032947530587272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214514752074756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047384724067353334,0.0,0.05508403283722487,0.058022218799187085,0.0,0.0,0.16747614797161944,0.16152789079559182,0.0,0.0,0.03674865304232791,0.07243455363343837,0.0,0.06022025129898876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06560815678459922,0.0,0.054430800048251016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05055247177802377,0.0,0.16999312333064898,0.0,0.056867580460295365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04588078910243154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040584121657487184
addiction,biggdom,2020/01/12,"Trading one addiction for another I don’t usually post but I figured I’d ask for some advice so sorry if im all over the place. 
 anyways I’m a teen who just quit smoking pot I wouldn’t say I was necessarily addicted I just used it as a coping mechanism and also a crutch for social issues and to help me get out of my shell which it did drastically but then once I started to see the more harmful effects on a young persons mind that’s when I decided to quit after 2 years of about a gram of wax a week. I already suffer from multiple mental disorders including autism so I didn’t want to fuck my brain up more than it already is. Once I stopped it wasn’t much of a change at first however about a month in my eating habits changed and I was and still am gorging myself with tons of food and can’t seem to control my self just like with pot. I’m not really sure what to do at this point as I’m constantly exercising to get rid of the excess calories but can’t stop and another side affect of quitting was getting my ability to dream back and all I have dreams about are suicide or killing other people so I’m not sure if I should go back to smoking or deal with it. I’ve had a therapist for a good half of my life and it never seemed to help all they did was put me on meds which made me even worse",5.364239130434783,4.555417670289856,6.507014492753623,81.1829130434783,67.94927536231884,9.968695652173913,31.80579710144927,9.3871,2.5364075362318843,1031,37,225,18,15,349,162,276,0.13699999999999998,0.775,0.08800000000000001,-0.9496,1,0,0,0,0,1,5.0,0,0,1,6,16,8,2,0,13,0,19,8,1,5,6,46,36,23,2,5,12,0,0,1,0,2,4,1,0,2,13,12,2,3,5,3,1,2,9,4,0,3,10,2,24,4,41,24,8,31,0,1,1,1,10,11,1,7,18,153,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267183252953644,0.0,0.10161308542654554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295003982941581,0.08315688715253426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21807499351295115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721207859791987,0.0,0.0,0.15991632397167782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160818177256425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200050022269415,0.0,0.0,0.11237100610858272,0.11662818813531008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10720412402073826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11917599113260345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064027687119425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868121108766513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844971575244752,0.12573925654021395,0.0,0.0,0.0961325958885088,0.16298384766062493,0.0,0.05909715727299801,0.08721781055731476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393981087106857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11232180630107226,0.10853348075748673,0.0,0.0,0.11504416216174188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07344778688646883,0.05080189195989852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09839326350087553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11550406024589943,0.0,0.10479257396733166,0.0,0.1049953590021415,0.0,0.08299995491963268,0.0,0.07644105017953097,0.0,0.0801997584180192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22148158279302704,0.0704630290225126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07209021028946765,0.0907958223765888,0.10864234998697238,0.0,0.09829957803562847,0.0,0.09958902986859997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045337969759486,0.0,0.3318030214930423,0.0,0.0,0.0666155499952977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269316520316174,0.0,0.0,0.08286270181263676,0.18932835090816744,0.10847919011597948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10599976560577187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11640286240819285,0.07360122461435921,0.0,0.08304267537906254,0.1738724836504687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11374287699150325,0.0,0.1960095471503747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207347741914244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898097830656729,0.11452495218046325,0.0,0.0613331358287739,0.0,0.08341061530958979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10596975188929687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06696302752740667
addiction,itzmack_,2020/01/12,"I have a strange addiction.. maybe someone can recommend a solution? I’m not sure if this is the right place. No I don’t drink. No I don’t do drugs. But I do have an addiction. It’s picking my skin. It’s not just like picking a scab or anything. I rip off my skin on my face, my back, and especially my fingers. The main problem I’ll talk about is my fingers because those are the worst. It all started when I would get bored and pick at my cuticles, and the sides of my fingers. It started with my thumbs. But over time, I started picking all my fingers. Then the picking just got deeper and deeper. It would bleed all the time and I still wouldn’t stop. Right now, I put bandages on my fingers to stop me from touching them. But eventually they fall off. I absolutely CAN NOT stop myself from picking again. My mind tells me to stop, but my body keeps going until it gets bad again. I don’t know what to do. My bosses are getting concerned, (because I work in a fast food restaurant,) my family is worried... and hell, I’m worried too. My doctor prescribed me a anxiety medication but it has done nothing. I seriously think something is wrong. Can anyone help?",1.484946488294316,3.939353273913049,2.9947826086956515,89.34745819397995,83.65217391304347,5.625418060200667,26.23745819397993,7.010146845296331,1.2817290969899666,903,40,182,12,26,295,123,230,0.175,0.787,0.038,-0.9794,0,0,3,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,2,1,10,9,1,0,12,0,22,18,9,7,4,42,35,16,0,5,12,0,8,1,0,3,7,0,0,0,10,7,2,5,2,1,0,3,9,7,0,0,2,8,35,2,16,30,5,32,1,0,0,0,5,11,1,2,19,128,45,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770283724225523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720057429174042,0.0,0.0,0.0888433264648168,0.0,0.10455957752755367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09770131923821444,0.10608981678888986,0.15490922851695188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14113504841936209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300513235225031,0.0,0.1300265238134341,0.0,0.12447045601491967,0.14734929457675425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197808871468998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536414912362157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991508625946582,0.0,0.07221114249503051,0.0,0.10162151222596368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516565902776818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11293679169765465,0.0,0.0,0.06982886894919661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062075112046202065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12764887700856498,0.0,0.0,0.127999611673486,0.0,0.0,0.1282944083959302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12191752450960727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13275068679976545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12157928777783672,0.0,0.1277304232098113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170171407875795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10765755011931856,0.09781701780017908,0.0,0.0,0.2698012271834586,0.0,0.10147030316982686,0.4249114939606608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11975257349755147,0.0,0.0,0.10212603824136612,0.11105606561246438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141493602804796,0.0,0.0,0.14817944922436674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250121428051887,0.25807125387571506,0.0,0.18051959792958974,0.13892019533010402,0.0,0.0
addiction,flying_dream11,2020/01/13,"Rambling thoughts from a hopeless dreamer You made a promise to your yourself. And you truly believed in it, it's getting urgent. And yet you find yourself breaking it, again. What's this one more weekend, still plenty time left. Okay. But then no more. You're prepared this time.

This time, you even promise others. You believe in it, really. No more bullshit excuse, not answering the phone for a week and letting people down? No more of that, you promise. You apologize, you know you fucked up, and you mean it, you're sorry. You're trying to get better. 

But.. really, what's one more day? Tomorrow there isn't anything that important you could miss. And if it takes one more day to answer, you've been busy, so what? It happens. And you go into the flood again...

The sad thing is when you really thought this time around you'd change for good. The heartbreaking thing is when you tell others and they believe in you, and you give up for no apparent reason. 

Yet I still believe there's more to this life, and I still swear I can make it tomorrow. Letting yourself and others down is heartbreaking, but maybe you need those heartbreaks to discover that tiny spark that may be left inside you? Promises broken, dreams denied, illusions shattered.
But I refuse to accept that there isn't any more this life has to offer. As much as it seems like it sometimes, this spark won't go out. I don't have to promise it to anyone. I've known it all my life.",2.607282608695648,5.248224583333332,2.9190144927536217,90.52091304347827,80.34057971014494,5.564057971014494,23.33043478260869,6.88968998030894,0.8482399999999997,1139,39,216,13,30,349,138,276,0.14800000000000002,0.722,0.13,-0.7649,1,0,0,0,0,1,50.0,0,20,1,1,15,17,1,0,7,1,17,4,0,3,1,37,34,21,0,3,6,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,33,13,0,1,11,2,0,2,9,7,0,3,4,0,27,10,26,23,10,35,0,6,0,1,28,12,1,3,21,157,60,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476265182023263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687227707094395,0.0,0.09047086746917343,0.09786949210994512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4954568195159106,0.0,0.0972325820076904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163014475079014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777777052661882,0.0,0.0,0.14180380627742364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07261402409252142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004827406236144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163732589127987,0.11487773587853894,0.10546401699613746,0.1249623393083033,0.09221206348592256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721916516170047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06041989167907893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388992466268568,0.22484124042203035,0.2329606284770773,0.05371090212741254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040274435067082,0.07338549137615254,0.0,0.11044903687935642,0.1197563803432038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081820590363739,0.08151877001888996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234936166403022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762182288852283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21129023829184604,0.11303614940963146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10008482099052626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10873300840078354,0.12306830531217886,0.0,0.0,0.2633935570669775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266084600118402,0.0,0.0960919968429043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14607788004290026,0.0,0.0,0.17455941625675575,0.2564265011285084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746417256805095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08818686120621373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,biscuithead85,2020/01/13,"Same Shit Every Day I was hoping someone here could help provide me with insight or advice because I am completely lost. 

I cannot go a single day without taking some sort of mind altering substance. No matter how hard I try I cannot get through the day. Logically I have a good life. Wife, kids, good job, car etc. But emotionally it’s abject hell. 

I am so totally out of control of everything and I feel like I am just waiting for it all to collapse. I don’t know if it is the mental health or the substance abuse that is causing it but I absolutely cannot exist without altering my mind some type of way. I feel so completely trapped in the cycle and I so desperately want to get out but can’t find the way. 

Anyone else on the same page or have any advice?",2.3594805194805204,4.341591961038965,4.17792207792208,84.70116883116887,77.44155844155844,6.997402597402598,26.584415584415584,7.957251820313856,1.69394025974026,598,24,120,10,14,202,98,154,0.159,0.7609999999999999,0.08,-0.9335,1,1,0,0,1,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,6,7,2,0,8,0,14,3,1,3,2,38,25,13,0,4,10,1,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,5,0,2,6,0,0,2,8,3,0,0,2,3,15,4,15,22,9,11,1,1,0,0,3,4,2,8,4,81,20,2,0.0,0.16579668744615567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734801080383715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515864416092706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09784379608715954,0.14337699950641555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08530132521002683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14374883948595302,0.0,0.0,0.29343234359369746,0.0,0.15694577798555706,0.11172441623481252,0.0,0.0,0.2707339349331364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11689533557951982,0.15740480740714194,0.0,0.0,0.1560613098833324,0.0,0.0,0.1178988513828932,0.0,0.12576197197833458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14150777479683768,0.09996753877821947,0.0,0.0,0.12789542808498394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14621752070491018,0.0,0.07952665194613788,0.23473685651762954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12535169943045515,0.0,0.0,0.14874130642282668,0.0,0.0,0.09379355441898572,0.0,0.0,0.13898417490353907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388610431793846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690303691147668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09883819888242144,0.06836376852167317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15275244550715494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410186706264411,0.0,0.2825831142012733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14363831646614802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856403626770125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10521154398832007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500472817186696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253559343452085,0.2221432166379528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2697791519598307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,nigasploh,2020/01/13,Xanax Hey if i take axanax pill i feel so much better. I am seriously suffering from anxiety and that is why I do opiates and when I take xanax the need for opiates is gone. I take only 1 to 2 pills a day. If i continue using it will it constantly help with anxiety or will I always need a bigger dose?,1.197864583333331,3.0154663906250008,4.241875000000004,83.64895833333338,80.40625,8.016666666666666,23.166666666666664,8.841846274778883,1.7890916666666667,235,8,50,6,6,85,45,64,0.136,0.7659999999999999,0.098,-0.0828,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,3,0,6,5,0,1,0,10,14,7,0,4,3,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,8,1,4,11,1,6,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,3,4,32,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20756557238120252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3816629989110008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22062164363277345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695709733691512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16087708548063745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12613135321097474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16720364599497953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833772697767313,0.3699337126945181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897208808124176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5626747124975368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2154480188216151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250932842157096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,icedripbeats,2020/01/13,"This one’s kinda weird but, I’m addicted to music. Like genuinely if there’s no music playing I start mumbling or moving my hands or feet. I cannot stay still. I feel extremely uneasy when there’s no music playing and when I have to sit still. It’s all I think about. It’s all I talk about. It’s not a problem to me though. I just wanted to share it to see if there’s anyone else out there like me.",-0.5844200626959264,1.5446377471264368,1.7359247648902816,96.7038244514107,91.06896551724138,4.54294670846395,15.955067920585165,6.1124844417494595,-0.5480022988505748,312,7,72,3,11,105,51,87,0.122,0.688,0.19,0.7135,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,12,7,0,0,1,0,2,3,2,0,2,16,8,9,0,4,7,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,2,0,1,4,2,0,1,0,3,10,5,8,8,2,9,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,5,7,48,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2879525568004733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18469345061293455,0.2706435546897602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22065581827493894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355756962099252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580917914085049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2807399619109222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789887018661153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527471570038983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21048608946152828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869602801956124,0.2815390417606709,0.4218865090468573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21230644045837302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692508156187318,0.25951708154268216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15579713951642593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ahatchingegg,2020/01/13,"Disease Someone on my Facebook posted about how they finally got down to normal blood sugar after four months between 250 and 400. No talking about being selfish, throwing it away, wanting it bad enough, nobody asking what he’s gonna do differently, no shame in his words or people’s reactions. He sure as shit isn’t calling his blood “clean” now. When are we going to treat people with addictions, including ourselves, with the same respect as people with diabetes or other chronic health conditions?",9.100227272727274,9.645594931818188,8.303545454545457,66.8778181818182,59.90909090909091,10.221818181818184,39.190909090909095,9.888512548439397,4.289197272727273,406,19,57,7,5,127,74,88,0.17300000000000001,0.722,0.105,-0.7845,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,0,1,0,5,7,1,1,1,0,4,8,3,1,1,13,9,7,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,0,4,5,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,4,0,1,1,1,5,3,15,6,2,12,0,0,0,0,9,4,1,2,5,40,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400106829467425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20582312739442435,0.0,0.20685083024561893,0.0,0.1838273037417115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248115217107996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300239699048749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274877210411828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411783231936705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12512397538950346,0.0,0.1760848416943501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23402347651775104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17573238368673846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157134584333462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4579008930877064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21085574835317414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22599464122634716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18654379623686015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20750146779866432,0.0,0.0,0.17695905997359865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12985812062921348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,EdenJ13,2020/01/13,"Is this an unhealthy addiction? To start with Yu-Gi-Oh is my ""game of choice"".I just loved that card game so much.Now thr problem is with the Steam and mobile game Yu-Gi-Oh Duel links.I don't know why but i just feel different if i play the game.Different in the meaning like i am an alien living on earth. Sometimes it affects my anxiety.I don't know guys.. I'm so pissed with myself from like this addiction state of my mind. What do you fellas think, should i cope with this (redownloading it for the 7th time) or should i quit playing forever?",1.2776488095238108,3.5510595625000008,2.5892857142857157,93.12238095238096,82.83928571428572,6.2333333333333325,21.833333333333336,7.492282038375204,0.7716940476190475,429,14,94,7,12,138,73,112,0.10400000000000001,0.768,0.129,0.2213,2,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,1,4,7,1,0,6,0,9,4,1,1,0,20,17,6,0,4,5,0,1,2,0,2,2,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,5,5,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,10,5,11,15,0,5,0,0,0,1,6,2,1,2,4,51,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4653636630961023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4460001359964173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792201417420376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21133981696275025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346028167431878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20855265672831064,0.0,0.1884720189640756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926385348272038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324994581313725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155142281051682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569034487005663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20423389208167375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270204217901893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21109827686613786,0.0,0.15107440234606184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13676416075880207,0.0,0.0,0.12445896910052474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19259700297524585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,gogochai,2020/01/13,"I’m addicted to making myself unattractive and it’s hurting my health I was raped by two men when I was 16 and the fear of it happening again has made me maim myself. I have scars, purposefully ugly tattoos, I never dress in decent cloths, I’ve make myself fat and I don’t even enjoy eating. I just want to be undesirable. I want men to be disgusted by my appearance and I hate compliments. 

I really need to lose weight and take care of myself because I’m unhealthy but I’m scared. I don’t want to be a target. I don’t want attention. Even now I still get unwanted attention and it makes me feel disgusting and uncomfortable. It doesn’t help that most men don’t get it and treat you like you’re some kind of bitch for not getting for eyed about their overly aggressively flirting. 

I’ve had men chase me down in parking lots and corner me at gas stations. I probably have ptsd because this makes me unreasonably comfortable. It doesn’t matter how ugly I make myself. My family doesn’t understand and mocks me. 

I’ve honestly even considered transitioning from female to male because it feels safer but I know I’m not actually trans. It would just be another layer against me and my problem. Being the way I am feels vulnerable and I don’t want to be vulnerable.",2.788582995951419,5.271452522267211,4.458341700404862,80.69586882591095,78.43319838056682,8.162526315789476,24.859757085020238,8.954980946260402,2.2412679838056686,1011,37,190,26,25,339,135,247,0.222,0.637,0.14,-0.9763,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,1,1,11,21,7,2,3,0,22,7,2,7,1,47,51,16,0,9,6,0,4,1,0,1,3,0,0,5,10,12,3,0,7,0,0,1,11,12,0,1,4,5,35,9,22,40,3,13,0,2,1,1,8,6,1,4,6,123,45,0,0.0,0.0,0.12578996000599146,0.1405224326911873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13516520359627654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23573276751935698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314243912744212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13189913858970825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554160767456846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215175290862784,0.14505082021483687,0.1955304873413817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20203824929284775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11398779625293565,0.0,0.0,0.1272642430510486,0.0,0.13701701867337504,0.0,0.0,0.08640043244434048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379924789863229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342318129482342,0.07084128207523918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06297510740889169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442085981162125,0.0,0.10958804710184424,0.0,0.12197038531892106,0.4302161217386105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955793534355898,0.0994173288768203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13897838131702772,0.12334200380995147,0.15067978237502602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825780547576411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12905359672856595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029414692989445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691841784905783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12591872635700566,0.13419174383115592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3801493081783341,0.10231657229001882,0.0,0.15696816209463935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09156842971595892,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,KingSquid46,2020/01/13,"My friend, Jake, is addicted to the game Anagrams This is a serious problem, all he wants to do is play Anagrams before I go to sleep and when I wake up. Someone please help me!",0.9941666666666648,3.2878200833333366,2.6700000000000017,91.95000000000003,84.27777777777777,5.822222222222222,25.66666666666667,7.1686216300943375,1.2323,137,6,29,2,4,45,30,36,0.095,0.645,0.26,0.784,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,4,3,2,0,1,4,6,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,2,4,6,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,18,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3988786816158275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3113490113870025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.282688948164319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20794610360310944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452511668380562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4016419512069028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35011133044989795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3661584403794592,0.0,0.3100209648713065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158138767730746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,shaung2020,2020/01/13,Quitting I am a drug addict and want to quit any advice,1.84,3.2930430000000044,3.84,88.905,77.33333333333334,4.800000000000002,20.333333333333336,3.1291,-0.24026666666666685,44,1,9,0,1,15,12,12,0.0,0.8740000000000001,0.126,0.0772,0,0,1,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36699482026751146,0.0,0.3289674619319786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289314413033379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3904035345322505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7161308499047095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19856306834129545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,1dennaB,2020/01/13,"I'm addicted to ""wrongdoing"" While my girlfriend is asleep on the phone and snoring in my ear... probably having romantic dreams about us... I'm on Reddit at 4am posting a pic of my clitoris. 😩 She would fly to my state and strangle me if she knew I was even on Reddit, let alone posting images of myself here.

https://i.imgur.com/znMSQog.jpg",6.7802380952380945,7.706661904761907,6.660436507936506,75.36303571428572,64.87301587301587,9.474603174603176,33.21031746031745,9.516144504307137,3.11919365079365,272,11,47,5,4,86,49,63,0.033,0.879,0.08800000000000001,0.5267,0,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,5,3,2,0,0,5,8,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,10,0,10,4,0,9,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,1,33,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3360124991918931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31922981009671764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035807679421331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3151825901554253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5903917784263655,0.0,0.33232041564924475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3707586590518663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189553392058957,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Savage-Nobody,2020/01/13,I am hopelessly addicted to looking at naked women on the Internet. It’s so annoying. Every day I have off work I end up looking at pictures for hours and feel like I wasted my time.,1.5258108108108104,3.884315567567569,4.282364864864864,80.83543918918923,82.51351351351352,8.024324324324324,28.16891891891892,8.841846274778883,2.8310594594594596,144,7,27,4,4,51,32,37,0.245,0.693,0.062,-0.8122,0,0,0,0,0,1,3.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,5,1,7,5,0,9,0,1,2,0,1,5,0,0,5,18,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3682436982238464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21784822541975027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29918390358091623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846047603060923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17079804364127205,0.2413190381301148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3326575812871774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16502835884756614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5673212698723744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19696953025419195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24591697188978426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,desikene,2020/01/13,"55 days (almost) sober I made this post 55 days ago where I said I was going to look for some help for my drug addiction. 
I ended up not going to rehabilitation center since I can’t take that long vacation from work but I somehow found that strength in me to not do drugs on my own. I had a little set back when I went out with my best friend. But since then I have been sober for over a month now.  

Thank you for everyone that believed and supported me. Honestly I haven’t been this happy for years.",2.1719309600863,3.9344991165048526,3.422847896440132,90.90626752966558,77.25242718446601,6.907874865156419,20.182308522114347,7.793537801064563,0.5052101402373244,391,9,88,6,9,127,71,103,0.0,0.7140000000000001,0.28600000000000003,0.9877,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,3,5,7,0,0,2,0,8,3,0,1,0,12,18,5,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,8,2,16,7,15,10,3,24,0,0,1,0,4,8,0,3,11,60,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19139454314773874,0.0,0.0,0.15563003904403552,0.0,0.1758055396382529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13500060803885475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978045061855447,0.18424731101290556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264530895212407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4072052356520809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15550073719990262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16776231684642845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19250075550212986,0.13564305283914613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19955816809885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868949205701337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11767922728602664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759648073427132,0.0,0.15537175607171078,0.14743252333840845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661262599044983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401363425954242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16814518058383807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16700494365810833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904625815867635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19923197402956627,0.0,0.0,0.13200494719292882,0.0,0.0,0.1616390108701768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627528768540642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12781526666753598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305974534436546
addiction,EdmontonAB83,2020/01/13,"How difficult is it to detox without professional help? My sister has a very serious crack addition, spends  roughly $400 day. Recently she has said she wants to get clean but said she plans to goto the country to stay at a friends ranch to get her head straight. She feels that working on the ranch will keep her busy enough to not think about crack. I’m trying to be as supportive as I can but am a bit concerned that this may not be enough as her issues are far more deeply rooted then just this addiction. I want her to have successful. Do you think this is realistic? I would prefer a professional setting but at the moment she refuses so I’m not going to push her until she’s ready.",6.013897058823527,6.107874360294119,6.310588235294119,80.09764705882355,66.42647058823529,10.03529411764706,30.970588235294123,9.827888789773867,2.699605882352941,547,19,110,11,8,176,89,136,0.033,0.815,0.152,0.9567,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,3,5,5,0,0,7,0,14,3,1,2,0,21,28,10,0,4,8,1,2,0,1,3,2,2,1,0,6,1,0,2,4,0,1,2,4,2,0,0,2,4,16,3,18,21,4,14,0,0,0,0,18,5,0,1,5,74,22,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.214316482243929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21462973448572545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12678686847931495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4062683171319748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09940383518821633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15188803947703688,0.0,0.2054245054824409,0.0,0.11172890273307008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20176216502275424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13177281656174006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20519306298977244,0.0,0.17474178331191245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19411286123703173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3740118339165325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20954305012920246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22309254549421006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25193899872510395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13347442364712528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16221064192566742,0.23191247374798196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18950960395733016,0.0,0.14312277601410636,0.0,0.0,0.13965473957067,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,bthi,2020/01/13,"I feel hopeless - addicted to DXM I feel myself losing my mind slowly, im a masters student in statistics and im regularly taking this and it's fucking up my life but im so in love with the dissociative headstate and idk why, it's killing me, please if anyone has anything to say, please say it....",1.2247142857142883,3.678765566666669,3.682857142857145,83.92500000000003,85.0,6.095238095238094,26.904761904761905,7.447530270364453,1.7734761904761904,234,11,45,4,7,81,43,60,0.168,0.6559999999999999,0.177,0.3854,0,0,0,0,0,1,9.0,0,0,0,2,1,5,2,0,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,9,6,6,1,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,6,1,6,6,0,3,0,2,0,2,3,3,1,1,0,25,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050311543985036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13150746709726988,0.0,0.15477094058217802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19019426659944552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738737006341922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6094647068347455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20807878978552832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328439993876038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210409503875684,0.0,0.0,0.16974639108898976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18990365807130052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4129030540174705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2991319753333954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14141012729076574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697097946624678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,MrCraft1017,2020/01/13,"relapse after relapse i will never stop relasping and letting myself family and everyone down, i want to not exist",10.707,10.3551317,11.680000000000005,46.94500000000005,57.0,14.0,45.0,13.023866798666859,6.978999999999999,94,5,10,3,1,33,17,20,0.0,0.8340000000000001,0.166,0.2933,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,6,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,12,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4509927015843159,0.0,0.0,0.4449363834655125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4826268032894445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3640165093617657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3945925512805773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783833075435434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,uhnihilist13,2020/01/13,"Craving/Withdrawal Help I quit vaping/smoking cold turkey about two months ago, and never felt any withdrawal symptoms. But recently I’ve been hit with such a terrible need to do it that I’ve reached a point where I start panicking and breaking down because I currently have no way to stop the cravings. For people who have gone through this or are currently going through this, do you have any ways that you’ve found that help you right through this without going back to old habits? At this point anything helps.",7.161087719298247,8.139976915789473,5.987105263157897,80.33890350877195,64.05263157894737,9.701754385964913,35.833333333333336,9.725611199111238,3.448649122807017,417,19,74,8,6,124,67,95,0.11800000000000001,0.785,0.09699999999999999,-0.2672,2,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,1,4,1,0,0,3,0,7,1,0,0,1,11,15,4,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,9,3,0,1,2,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,4,2,5,0,12,10,0,22,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,1,10,46,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16694809935159954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25614926121685416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549841083727131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14481841077621213,0.0,0.11480760169520535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808316605681697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20650020685103213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21407086368951744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3787120426605068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503276371971539,0.0,0.0,0.13964842208816886,0.14525598475851234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19762647566340255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305681549870122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35607593565277745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20031803745846447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18595863219712566,0.0,0.0,0.16083752852623776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13330486988585696,0.0,0.0,0.15745695082656685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19575274625687256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839764636926292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29898398263177195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815487470306839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,nastynate14597,2020/01/14,"Methods for overcoming in socially abnormal individuals I know I won’t be able to keep my marriage much longer if my addiction continues. On top of having poor motivation, my personality won’t work well with social support systems. I have ADHD and most would describe my as a social recluse, quiet, shy, and awkward to some extent, but I’m not problematic enough to be thought of as autistic. I have limited capacity to feel guilt or empathy, so I know many accountability programs won’t be motivating for me. Once I’ve opened up to someone I don’t care if they know about future failures. I can’t tell if I’m narcissistic or just have a big mix of mildish symptoms of ADHD, anxiety, depression, and other social problems. What I’m wanting to know is if any of you know of more effective methods for treating addiction in people with different types of emotional/personality disorders. Thank you for your time.",6.918753402286336,8.163928071856294,8.207555797495917,63.258987479586295,64.68862275449102,11.581709308655418,39.732716385411,11.389717465364855,5.221663473053892,736,41,117,23,11,253,107,167,0.136,0.72,0.14400000000000002,0.3712,1,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,3,1,6,4,9,0,2,2,0,14,3,0,3,0,32,29,13,0,7,9,0,1,0,0,4,3,1,0,1,2,6,0,2,10,0,2,0,6,4,1,0,1,2,16,5,26,21,6,11,0,1,0,0,11,7,0,8,3,79,18,5,0.13123595217286504,0.0,0.0,0.2861331180450279,0.3154402230023967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08924494775010486,0.0,0.10039514420364448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13380379965795394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303333330456415,0.0,0.0,0.1371136378720737,0.15040777093979202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13560182017588512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635684061775912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166485442190074,0.0,0.0,0.36061923598777024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330526572060948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647352504924687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397620059859638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909824850892584,0.22918034286138986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255750824269513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.535114105228295,0.11119579639930684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489250033093729,0.0,0.13640440365622758,0.0,0.0,0.11470600665782472,0.12082443265453223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10418668682714537,0.07652473908356856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07740636479783099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179968818076599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09554133619449244,0.0,0.0,0.09322625508018786,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ixderediem,2020/01/14,Inhalant addiction? Ok so I don't want to type the full story here. And I'm not even sure if this is the place to ask... But basically I have a friend struggling with long term inhalant addiction. I'm hoping to find someone who could possibly educate me on the subject and give me some insight as to how I can help them. If I can. Preferably someone who has battled and won against this monster first hand. But any and all help/insight is welcome via comments or DM.,3.16,5.145793043478268,4.029782608695655,86.65380434782612,75.08695652173913,6.773913043478261,32.15217391304348,7.645422480735847,2.2188869565217386,368,19,72,5,8,118,66,92,0.084,0.711,0.205,0.9237,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,2,4,8,1,1,4,1,8,3,1,1,2,21,15,12,0,6,6,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,3,7,6,8,13,4,6,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,5,3,49,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4716444104321726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14710593814947484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20223126400334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727149982993662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14287821361157407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19771379783062853,0.1840028325218461,0.0,0.0,0.16712934087194994,0.0,0.0,0.20751515340217488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2899912863795115,0.0,0.0,0.21485591369439525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19143759034364916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260097724381834,0.0,0.0,0.2438698228494269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3665767611495702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22614604676314484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038803153304384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275919388087942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,strippingusedtobefun,2020/01/14,"Relapse I was sober for almost a year, I started college and got my life somewhat together. I always think I can overpower it. I brush it aside. But today I relapsed. I don’t fucking understand. Why do I need this? I feel like addiction is a part of me. My life is better than it’s ever been .... but somethings always missing. Does anyone else feel this way? I don’t know what to do anymore.",0.05615384615384755,2.4128837179487204,2.3757692307692326,89.60673076923081,96.43589743589745,4.651282051282052,23.16666666666667,6.42735559955562,0.9342358974358976,302,13,58,4,12,102,55,78,0.040999999999999995,0.899,0.06,-0.1179,1,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,0,2,0,9,4,0,0,1,12,19,3,0,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,3,13,2,4,16,2,5,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,5,40,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264344845196429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079914928032041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34566260467949755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059924387674328,0.14523561363156204,0.2128233708902386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837025550815349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18176836082610254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17351499504818313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18788552469894987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21004876474690184,0.14838801659696693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19202448471856906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16612460691856146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11415194629222633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2934233347230217,0.10147658071817467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15401428235639858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249296146763684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599052530911752,0.0,0.0,0.14701815862352471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13309213717352786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19688472821826614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21623336402078502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16487047555760215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18742590600470624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337583858763005
addiction,bgreen2020r,2020/01/14,"Meh...It's probably my meds I can remember the day I became an addict, it was a very warm day sitting under the sun and out of nowhere my co-worker (I was new to him) place a round pink pill on my left knee. Literally and just sat down in the chair in front of me with this big shit grin on his face saying ""That'll make you feel better"". Heart was racing at this point and I was googling what it was, etc because I was a couple months new to meds being on Welbutrin at that point. I decided to start small, take a quarter. Meh...Couple hours passed and I felt better...thought nothing of it except where do I keep the rest of this? Bought a pill container, i think it was actually a flint container or something so it wasn't obvious. That was really my first ""stimulant"" use, I never felt anything before besides being drunk out of my mind a few times. So it was kinda exciting I could take a pill, get a little effect and just keep on living like nothing? 

Well...until your body needs it literally then I guess that was alright...Getting kinda bored now with shit thoughts of how I've fucked up self-medicating when medications are much easier to obtain when sober and in the right mind, doctors aren't stupid. Took me 3 years of everyday use at work, working in a warehouse...You'll find out there so many ""degenerates"" I've heard this term a few times but getting drugs is so easy it's like ""Mhmm...What am I feeling like today"". But the constant shitting myself, stomach pains, any kind of pain at all annoyed me, mood swings, whatever....

I gave that up 6 months ago after my ex-coworker successfully comminuted suicide this time around and being I was already 2 attempts in and we were like the same person almost...I knew it was only a matter of time and honestly, it got boring living that lifesytle...it really is something that becomes a lifestyle, maybe not at first but the shady things I've done I don't think I would replicate for the same reward, ya know?

Through use of Kratom (Trainwreck), Triliptal, L-theanine, Caffine, Ativan (prescribed .5 x2 a day but as my psychiatrist has said use them sparingly so I'll skip days, etc) I've been able to stay clean for 6 months...That gets boring though so I relapsed purposely for 2-3 weeks of adderall use and honestly, it just didn't have that same gogo anymore...guess I'm getting older but I'm not worried if i take an hour to do an hours of work instead of maybe being able to cut that down 15-20 minutes...meh. I was 220 when I stopped using and now feel like not using drugs I literally have to live each day on my own so now I'm 150 in around 4-5 months. Probably not the healthiest but I've cut out pop, a lot of sugars, bread, pasta and become obsessed kinda with losing weight...Now that I've lost weight I dunno how to put muscle back on so my self-esteem has been low lately...Also my kratom use has been extremely low maybe 2 grams a day if I'm not working so I dunno if that's part of it...I just don't know how to keep this going for 30+ years....",2.7550420972062786,4.601568626865671,3.961355721393037,87.3156501148106,75.83250414593698,6.694846281413446,24.1998022706978,7.539968504222095,1.095784054088532,2354,76,479,31,52,768,295,603,0.10099999999999999,0.805,0.094,-0.6524,0,0,4,0,0,1,114.0,1,3,1,14,29,33,8,1,29,0,42,24,8,14,3,96,89,40,1,6,20,0,8,5,0,2,10,3,1,1,30,23,5,6,15,1,1,5,11,18,0,3,32,13,45,14,64,50,15,87,0,4,2,1,12,39,4,11,46,282,75,6,0.1161215476034167,0.0,0.056658939863156274,0.06329481353595452,0.0,0.0,0.05146737278858481,0.0,0.058139478101011624,0.0,0.06407150766278638,0.046431179832446365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039483317173931366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04777906974026554,0.10337279656478922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044645151175830435,0.0,0.035393308808902485,0.12824712612132064,0.049405442127198766,0.0,0.0,0.10270007233774946,0.0,0.06449243082918399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06274307001186884,0.0,0.046356803432501266,0.1284862837560461,0.0,0.22466637512476687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05942766223168855,0.0,0.05941632986924826,0.0,0.0,0.13466412906854808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12950622092265784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807181529560312,0.08295725681006319,0.11149489598968176,0.0,0.05306649539515628,0.09877292907074617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05367624980083464,0.15167178970663472,0.0,0.03299727576256818,0.0,0.046436504761852834,0.0,0.12792097634419866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06880229650675086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17153450022730118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15482125045911127,0.0,0.0604613612818876,0.06381736572201292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06308320061908748,0.0,0.0,0.14182780658274516,0.05819214846188148,0.15380618096878607,0.0,0.0,0.06495515451334415,0.06338019323660267,0.04936119361329302,0.0,0.0,0.03875601736193767,0.058864511636138366,0.17498955354668305,0.0,0.193477292487552,0.058490121302018236,0.0,0.0,0.11724966054725935,0.0,0.1390306671492919,0.0,0.04268134930251166,0.04305132808857322,0.044780048089045364,0.11215091427454324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11142175674093596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04415783479486875,0.12356151382788605,0.0,0.0,0.06287416004614707,0.0,0.0,0.05069642817520705,0.06066115101701424,0.0,0.10977239628640344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12519866846201738,0.0,0.0,0.0583671141640466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07439043685691228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06577153844591084,0.04958358358798058,0.05522909166884179,0.046172257715940565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211400993188736,0.0,0.17879564985514396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893960405306335,0.0,0.0,0.0410957145340119,0.061885059640851524,0.0,0.04854140668758168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350906289415338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13096342843929198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038572998211043034,0.07440599892168237,0.05704441546952839,0.09218753789437688,0.13542281646460286,0.0,0.055034824695931864,0.0,0.06450765602662012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4011669345521596,0.0,0.047906219002544534,0.0,0.0,0.04657285057184274,0.1414047616538987,0.052203608466354384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21134467414061112,0.05896353413266346,0.0,0.041244707863752034,0.0,0.0,0.07477846946211289
addiction,ExplicitlySweet,2020/01/14,"I'm looking down this road, and it's looking back at me like ""try it b*tch, I dare you"" Hello Reddit! Idk what I'm expecting to come from this post, maybe just want to say something. I was raised super sheltered, didn't get into anything till around 22, (sides pot, been smoking that and cigs since 14) and around 22 I found Molly, and psychedelics. That was fun for a while, but I could feel myself craving more. So now I'm 26, and I'm with a new guy ( whom I adore) but he has far stronger self control than I do, he's the type that can pick up H, slam it for a week and then walk away like nothing ever happened. Anyways, he's taken me on one helluva ride, and in the span of 3 months I've gone from trying none of the ""hard"" drugs to trying them all. And I fucking tried meth. The one drug I swore I'd never try less I knew I was going to die the next day. The drug that ruined my childhood and had my dad in and out of prison my entire life. I just had to fucking try it, and of course it's my favorite and if course it's the cheapest, and I've been using it for about 2 weeks now, about every other day, I know its time to put it down and take a break, but....  Well hence the title of this post.",3.942386511024644,3.4521694124513616,4.6367470817120635,92.3357172503243,70.82879377431907,7.164617380025941,24.915434500648512,5.2151,0.3376699870298312,917,20,221,2,15,295,154,257,0.073,0.843,0.083,-0.2598,0,0,5,0,0,0,41.0,0,1,1,2,13,9,2,0,12,0,12,6,0,3,3,39,33,22,1,4,6,1,2,2,0,0,4,1,0,2,19,20,0,1,4,0,0,6,3,3,1,2,12,5,21,6,33,20,4,42,0,1,2,2,11,16,2,1,19,133,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09588233533118244,0.20744700971007515,0.0,0.0,0.10947015523552832,0.08959323358999571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036779316627084,0.0,0.0,0.13068204975291206,0.0930281521963364,0.0,0.0,0.15028572716363925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120924701892627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4053629942134699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053949476377639,0.09816934077480116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058913741751390074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277532405556955,0.0,0.2154334193068924,0.060874543937285586,0.0,0.06621844830552946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11536867147634827,0.10303427893877512,0.0,0.10437500920279807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06403387606094424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822983490835252,0.1138471835804083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956873631031177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705548854918416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300156687432068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986394273394366,0.11253140369441073,0.1239155646129519,0.0,0.0,0.11179977238046243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579078473512358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22317929763314884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11713026735374485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09265780856312217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215510859471207,0.0,0.0,0.09638283226756364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969933050218633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760516149295597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0679411297161018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.474638289977842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10063198894310167,0.0,0.0,0.06872386543962178,0.0,0.1869234248441296,0.0,0.104761434654942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,yomommaeatsfarts,2020/01/14,"How much is too much? My friend recently told me they’re a recovering addict. They have been sober for about 20 days and they told me on Saturday. 
I’m sad I didn’t know they were struggling because they hid it well but I want to be there to support them every step of the way. 



Is a daily text asking how they’re doing / feeling alright, or is that too much? They’ve also asked me to send them “happy mail”, like cards and letters of support every so often. I want to be there for them, but I don’t want to be a burden or be too much pressure. 


If anyone does know what’s best, let me know!",2.090645161290322,3.4358029032258086,3.5201935483870948,91.91029032258066,76.41935483870971,5.927741935483872,21.27096774193549,6.2581,0.12715096774193535,456,11,102,3,10,150,77,124,0.085,0.67,0.24600000000000002,0.9694,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,7,1,12,12,0,2,4,1,14,1,0,2,0,17,28,11,0,4,5,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,4,1,0,5,1,16,8,11,18,5,7,0,1,0,0,15,1,0,4,4,71,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16946452106574414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431409800035678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869494440290096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2906513766796742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947614787240907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16313622010817572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10025302636228407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360362061355045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619483218908189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07860068971781768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12010104680747218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654804660736337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562953908920603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589591661542528,0.0,0.07594550002962559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4570974469420747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15348909574203626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16251112345638224,0.0,0.0,0.35280787534095503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970801592322775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27506705887517197,0.1233897576931432,0.0,0.0,0.13976910606789353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,minter1986,2020/01/14,"My Story Okay,

I've been self-medicating with over counter codeine (Solpadeine) since I had open heart surgery in 2003 aged 16. They helped with the PTSD I was left with after such invasive surgery. Depression and anxiety followed and took over my life. I met my partner in 2009 and we married in 2016. My use since then had become an addiction which I never shared fully and I have been heavily taking them for I would say the last two years.

We sadly suffered a miscarriage last year following 3 years on a fertility program. My wife has had enough of the anger and mood swings which the drugs leave me with and has said her love for me has changed. In an attempt to get honest at last I told her the truth what I was abusing myself with and I have for the last 3 days been back living with my Mum to give her some space.

I've not dealt with the miscarriage and we have not had face to conversation about it and the grief and loss we have experienced and how we have changed.

I deeply love my wife and the contact since I left has been her feelings have changed and I should not hold onto any hope of a reconciliation.

She did visit my GP with me on Saturday where it all came out and I start addiction therapy tomorrow where I hope I can also explore other aspects of my mental health. My desire for change to become the person she fell in love with is so strong and I just pray for her to see this and help me on my journey.

I know she is so angry at me but I can't see a future with her in. I'm not sure what I hope to achieve with this ramble of thoughts but I need to put it out there for comments and the hope I desperately need that others have survived such things.

Thank you for reading.",3.9057017543859662,5.125973464912281,4.374439766081874,88.06558947368424,71.6608187134503,7.577263157894738,26.253099415204677,7.9765259561132025,1.3268866432748545,1343,43,286,18,25,424,177,342,0.077,0.807,0.11599999999999999,0.9376,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,5,1,2,5,12,21,1,0,17,1,28,10,2,2,4,65,56,24,1,9,7,3,1,0,1,2,5,2,0,2,13,37,0,1,4,1,0,9,6,6,0,1,17,6,55,14,47,37,3,48,1,5,2,3,37,22,0,5,17,200,68,3,0.0,0.10962140132139116,0.0,0.2017215207433958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398843351035966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06291696222309727,0.0,0.0707777600243559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07114238344261442,0.0,0.0,0.2043627579174978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10581855123602796,0.0,0.0,0.3914967487745484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059667925798704675,0.0,0.07968758053831311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072941501354673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09559818020487744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04678103287238164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04833802702667759,0.0887538819409071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983447298954028,0.0,0.1096369758171096,0.12402878523930096,0.0,0.0,0.3675740510647108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05084672560086311,0.3016655028775928,0.0,0.09796561634992802,0.20104710720120064,0.0,0.06534980904906265,0.0,0.0,0.08169710120912509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505094914840718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10276917251609582,0.0,0.09323868000421028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13720522878413585,0.0713573426861696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08078513875352457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10815125479919327,0.09300843444215796,0.0,0.0,0.0925453160772132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880079720464506,0.07357583917460117,0.0,0.0,0.1474533670868942,0.0,0.09651882868620837,0.0,0.0,0.22960119204459226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06548632951678017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719926781367762,0.0,0.0695637353486477,0.0,0.0,0.08518024220528979,0.10580500200238784,0.0,0.06146636212415647,0.0,0.0,0.07345076673256799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840709123972948,0.10279343398246933,0.0,0.0,0.09037886864166016,0.0,0.0,0.07990781510069858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06572375150585617,0.0,0.0,0.17874007840538514
addiction,TAmethamphetamine,2020/01/14,"Huge meth addict I (35f) have smoked a huge amount of meth every day, literally every day, for eight years. I have a ten year old child. TBH I’m surprised I haven’t died yet. I know I need serious help but it seems like such a huge thing to overcome.. I’m scared to start because the people who know all tell me how hard it is and the different scenarios where I might fail - I think they’re trying to be realistic but it’s really not helping.  My mother knows I’m an addict but she thinks it’s painkillers. All of my friends know, most of them also smoke meth. Could someone ( possibly anyone who has been a meth addict?) please give me some advice? I just want to know what the first step is, if there is any chance I will beat being an addict and love a normal life, and realistically how bad it’s going to get while I try to kick it. Thank you in advance",1.6958016806722718,3.7692343314285743,3.056705882352944,91.48247058823532,79.97142857142858,5.946218487394957,18.865546218487395,7.048011613610866,0.11434789915966405,668,15,146,8,17,217,114,175,0.113,0.71,0.177,0.8782,1,0,6,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,1,4,8,9,0,1,10,0,13,6,0,2,2,28,32,11,1,5,6,1,1,1,1,2,5,0,0,1,10,3,0,0,8,0,0,3,2,4,0,3,1,1,17,5,11,26,5,17,0,1,0,1,13,5,0,5,10,85,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5530082820258649,0.0,0.12392663391870587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141757893397324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624166886373323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867520483214544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10588905896139658,0.07730804392252369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101255121842866,0.0,0.0,0.16357628584390269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13161871041046425,0.13249947758584818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21370194563055686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078726770105892,0.0,0.0,0.09798049932047666,0.0,0.06625800059416309,0.12165690501040495,0.0720744945817161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11360544119886093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17000899357235866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3484836455172131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957642570747776,0.06195764493189272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144596297957755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13453554203850868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940351177891921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12425627017251654,0.0,0.0,0.13307582455559594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08792073444245083,0.0,0.0,0.13920982473084886,0.0,0.14297003079962098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124387565741455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12696853173073264,0.0,0.0,0.11545179016530135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10745382560994164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976355732594768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108459099619303,0.11675843814506978,0.0,0.0,0.08425329928951647,0.1625217428467672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17220435158010378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07480147895354708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16333531382581634
addiction,aerozimm,2020/01/14,"Travel addiction Long story short, I spent my entire 20’s making myself “famous” on social media for the amount of travel I did. I got a job with an airline and took full advantage of the travel benefits. Going on flights around the world for dirt cheap and posting on social media. It was a fruitless endeavour. I’m known for my crazy travels, but wow did it take its toll on me physically, just for “likes”. Much like an addiction, I couldnt get enough. Now I’m burnt out, no community or friends and stuck in a dead end (although good paying) airline job and have no desire to travel anymore. I feel like I wasted my 20’s on those experiences and now I regret it all since it wasn’t the responsible thing to do to have long term happiness. I’m stuck addicted to cigarettes with no real friendships or community. Trying to piece my life together at 30 to be a healthy adult is proving very difficult.",5.174310344827585,6.3201506264367815,6.205229885057473,76.40025862068967,68.59770114942529,9.248275862068963,30.017241379310345,9.516144504307137,2.7869862068965525,715,27,130,15,12,238,111,174,0.163,0.624,0.213,0.912,2,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,4,11,0,0,10,0,10,4,0,1,2,22,23,9,1,3,4,0,1,3,1,0,4,0,0,1,7,9,0,0,3,5,3,7,5,2,0,0,9,1,13,9,23,12,7,26,0,1,0,0,4,12,0,2,9,83,20,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5116498550178612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15515304813769756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927069591866004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13856530483227403,0.16165122049295366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15303485313120727,0.0,0.0,0.07910413193572123,0.11176552508376128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12087030134702348,0.0,0.08173692269390236,0.0,0.08891224212924388,0.1312200357528482,0.12512468558708384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16654037856497333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104983396471131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11050290255654338,0.2292958067862597,0.0,0.0,0.2769007418238247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10442936030370004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500629600133977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498326543219235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780705494856287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12941429373482205,0.0,0.0,0.3189553359274592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11762841820899013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10393620919705346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17381799555511035,0.10621701263572753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12908487882756384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,humanistdigitalnomad,2020/01/14,I want to talk privately with someone I dont know Im a 28 year old and I fear I'll die this year if I don't get clean.,-2.437204301075269,-1.4038813870967726,1.3819354838709683,103.55956989247312,88.67741935483869,5.423655913978496,16.78494623655914,6.42735559955562,-0.7453311827956988,91,2,29,1,3,34,24,31,0.327,0.628,0.045,-0.8425,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,5,2,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,5,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,12,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3293424285167468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3719129006567333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35708879747318234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16579383551391194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34277500523760884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17439838113454625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3329884869660903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688759354154832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550609226384144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18717172245783456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40870518143036405
addiction,__hellhound__,2020/01/14,"First time poster. New to Reddit. Struggling with two addictions. Losing all hope. Hi. I'm new here. This is going to be long.  
I'm currently struggling with a Binge Eating Disorder and an addiction to fizzy juice.   
But addiction/disorders are nothing new to me. At age 10 I was diagnosed with Trichtotillomania. I ended up with three bad patches on my head. I managed to stop somehow, but to this day if I get my hands on a pair of tweezers I will lose hours to pulling out leg and arm hair. Later on in life, I was addicted to alcohol. I drank to black out every night. In the house, on my own. I'd wake up still drunk and just start again. I went cold turkey and now I've been sober for five years. I've been taking anti-depressants on and off since I was 16/17.  
I am now 25. I first developed the binge eating disorder when I was 15. I did actually seek professional help for it when I was 17, but it didn't seem to be taken too seriously. I saw a shrink once every two weeks who did nothing except ask if I'd filled in my food diary and then talk about me moving away from this town. It was.. odd. I stopped going. Over the years I have successfully had periods of time where I have succeeded in stopping. Lost weight. But then it always comes back with a vengeance. I currently weight two stone more than I should for my height/frame. It really should be a lot more than that, but I have a dog I walk three times a day and I am on my feet for my part time job, which helps keep the weight off a little. But not enough.   
Usually that would be my biggest worry, but just now it's the fizzy juice. I am drinking two to two and a half litres a day (along with the food binging) and I just cannot stop. Nothing is stopping me. Not the fact none of my clothes fit. Not the fact my work uniform barely fits. None of the health risks and dangers. Not the fact a guy drank three litres a day and *died*. Absolutely nothing. I need to stop but I don't know how. I go to sleep and wake up raring to go. I'm going to be better today! But it's like something in my brain switches and before I know it I'm off to the shops to buy myself some. I honestly found quitting alcohol easier than this. Has anyone else here gone through it?  
I feel a bit bad posting this, since most people here are talking drug/alcohol issues.   
It's like there has always been a void inside of me that constantly needs filled with something. I can't remember a day since I was about ten years old where I wasn't dealing with at least one addiction/disorder.  
I don't remember a different kind of life. But I want one. So badly.   
I am never free.",1.2252393696104669,3.490613549905838,2.754269005847956,91.90828724353256,82.9924670433145,6.212191495688374,20.6152245019328,7.475848149327749,0.6410745762711865,2029,60,440,33,57,662,254,531,0.124,0.8009999999999999,0.075,-0.9663,4,0,7,0,0,0,71.0,0,0,0,10,23,20,1,3,28,0,41,30,10,1,5,76,72,31,1,9,20,0,6,2,0,4,9,0,0,1,20,25,13,7,7,3,3,13,13,11,0,15,23,9,53,10,67,40,13,93,0,3,2,0,9,30,0,8,51,289,73,6,0.0,0.0,0.05933857123543101,0.19886484697248286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19495162092816487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011920970275694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04251746097929962,0.06230365363597224,0.0,0.0,0.0568460595589023,0.0,0.05712989966097162,0.046756601690076574,0.15231317281019274,0.0,0.0,0.05174202613326898,0.0,0.0,0.053778587924659255,0.06638517152664067,0.0,0.0,0.06788039119532534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052379590952852224,0.0,0.06571044460805259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960764670256986,0.06268904139215924,0.05237272470469368,0.06171752417699278,0.0631077581903033,0.06353006320873683,0.2787590014584937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059567420168421426,0.07051647131847848,0.12444087637399033,0.05079619830711592,0.0,0.053856690998580765,0.06282957946919403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10246454069936176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030745696374211113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034443020281062,0.14705541470296354,0.06667141193513293,0.0,0.0,0.031768992923797694,0.0,0.17278925471790835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06020819657451515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062405220621995085,0.06463468247091571,0.0,0.0,0.08151490333769634,0.0,0.0,0.060394776874124916,0.05988235446253987,0.07016277188333174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06346640047471515,0.06034127068889485,0.05404779205373286,0.0,0.0633208246056399,0.06683554812531334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08589914603280811,0.05941416782171564,0.06094429149553405,0.0,0.053812019205438426,0.0,0.13605429513886375,0.06637769997760108,0.05169568492743633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.064627902810116,0.0,0.09017480047221642,0.0468978784261676,0.1761824797253093,0.0,0.057062972164028336,0.0,0.23338268825775316,0.0,0.06380640663352137,0.06475715481163352,0.08240839209048911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06584773442244131,0.0,0.04215571199417351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058236013517818874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06467541411745523,0.0,0.0,0.038954331367036084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13776428322741854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05535613921202965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508998007166185,0.0,0.06085061746825862,0.0,0.0,0.09362394234703864,0.0,0.0,0.043039297774315234,0.0,0.04856031203749809,0.3050227616918884,0.0,0.12713673829478433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045719073615157056,0.09774825006394358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418275114411907,0.0,0.05763764506601005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2969965692593444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06696999330256434,0.0,0.03586536922718707,0.0,0.04877546981939638,0.22213855066899912,0.0,0.05636842342805879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04426800442087549,0.061752159127477724,0.0,0.04319533760371799,0.0,0.0,0.1174725704656055
addiction,thomas65345,2020/01/14,"magic mushrooms for sale⛅️👁 if your addicted to something, why not try some magic mushrooms! I was once an addict and tried magic mushrooms and since I have taken then I have never looked back, they are  amazingly spiritual and great fun too! I offer worldwide shipping also🎒private message me.",3.6204242424242414,6.522117981818187,4.7195454545454565,77.55265151515152,78.27272727272728,5.848484848484849,29.166666666666664,7.1686216300943375,2.1667575757575754,239,11,36,3,6,78,45,55,0.0,0.8420000000000001,0.158,0.8499,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,1,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,1,7,6,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,7,3,2,4,1,3,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,2,3,24,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5918874395940401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21709545074136272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20874462490311702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2992979979867556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22796746792383696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093753542165589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28910800833107725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22456381316545335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20899182169746375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3686223011717294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24496056741104585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Lonestarrepublican1,2020/01/14,"Just lost in a sprial Yeah

Im back at my parents after a binge. Crying.

Addicted to benzos and other poly drug use.

Im a. Fuck up.",-2.7719540229885027,-1.6469619310344823,1.3501724137931037,93.99123563218392,116.58620689655173,3.3126436781609194,11.729885057471266,5.46131890053228,-0.9858321839080458,100,2,22,1,6,37,26,29,0.27699999999999997,0.654,0.069,-0.7717,1,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,3,1,0,3,0,1,0,3,3,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,5,2,0,5,0,1,0,1,1,3,1,0,2,13,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020805331362816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21307324116665252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3043819748387328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3213486985015933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256175020523312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5986323529172929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3024880158990857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3076874007897509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393259310996417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,taz-riel,2020/01/14,"I’m losing hope, please tell me it gets better... I found out yesterday that my long term bf has been hiding a cocaine addiction from me and his family since before we even started dating...he had told his family he quit a long time ago but he did not go to rehab or counselling or anything and apparently just got better at hiding it.  I also found that he would cheat on me online when high. I confronted him and after he finally confessed I told him to tell his family and stay at his sister’s for now. He says he can’t lose me and will do anything it takes but my trust in him is completely broken...He went to a program today and is setting up counselling for himself but I’m concerned that this is going to be a problem for the rest of his life.  He says when I’m with him he doesn’t even think about it but as soon as he’s alone, he’ll do it. How will this affect our relationship, my life, and our family if we even manage to make it that far now? To make things worse, I told my family about his addiction and now they’re very unsupportive of me staying with him...I feel beyond broken but I can’t even imagine my life without him.  Please tell me it gets better...",4.022702282157674,4.607606319502075,5.315910269709544,83.77809776970958,70.86721991701245,8.348651452282159,25.02100622406639,8.472884824447931,1.453989419087137,917,24,192,14,16,307,124,241,0.132,0.82,0.048,-0.963,1,1,1,0,0,0,27.0,4,0,0,6,16,10,2,0,5,0,16,6,0,4,0,37,38,22,0,4,11,1,1,0,1,4,6,2,0,0,14,13,0,0,6,0,0,3,5,5,0,0,10,3,33,5,27,23,2,31,1,2,0,0,38,9,0,4,16,126,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20614442428285626,0.0,0.0,0.08381185866695955,0.0,0.0,0.09792410338094516,0.0,0.07561068830620954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556113095867254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08045411507505258,0.0,0.0,0.25086234680800745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09913267969384378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24979451837906694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4456612477101154,0.0,0.047806743937360535,0.0,0.0,0.1035736534179522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20733588724298105,0.0,0.0,0.09879575283451583,0.0,0.10746859078924816,0.0,0.0756193596684075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09989606052496544,0.0,0.0939083505552701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003479655581764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673455297024627,0.0,0.2115519769048857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12622419500508822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20757250917494172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904704888691088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056434969381203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10151009054055098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15037809502804614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782117931265886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066922168972772,0.20155300693202635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07108897514536232,0.0,0.2479196102760288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628140606225359,0.060583091070282126,0.0,0.0,0.05513219996888141,0.0,0.08962126293338561,0.27103645945618765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07801271055359177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876477394487724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911417259998503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09635336475848112,0.0671647966263302,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Stonmands,2020/01/14,"I'm an addict after trying to help an addict. Hi,
I'm 19 and started a new job in April 2019. I became friends with one of my colleagues very quickly and well after she begged me to pick her up at 1am one night then sniffed a line of coke in my car, it became obvious she was an addict. That and the fact she did coke everyday. So I helped her. From June she didn't do any drugs she was clean it was fucking fantastic. Then her 19th birthday came around and she asked me ""Can I have a line of coke, just one line?"" And I thought fuck it its your birthday. So she had one and I had one. Then we had another one. Then another.


This was in December. Since then I have spent £1000 or so on coke. I've missed work, stood up family members and done some dodgy shit to get coke. Now it's 9am on a Tuesday. I've got work at 10am and I'm coked up. So yeah, I've fucked up.",-0.019368421052632808,1.7271067473684238,1.973157894736844,98.7271052631579,84.15789473684211,5.473684210526316,18.94736842105263,6.5966054737557815,-0.20378947368421008,662,17,167,7,19,220,105,190,0.083,0.826,0.091,0.0992,1,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,1,1,0,2,9,7,4,0,8,1,14,14,1,1,2,19,29,18,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,1,0,7,12,6,0,1,0,1,2,1,5,1,6,15,0,22,2,22,14,1,30,0,1,0,3,17,12,4,2,16,102,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42549294885980987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884741951542896,0.27284773427269343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581885251217335,0.12162832134994975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14880265706095386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13314007891095572,0.0,0.0,0.1508776527439228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12264910495988235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005169071100851,0.3608331320625398,0.0679732123964752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405489403245566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17440999314463074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12910670535410682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256538531520496,0.0,0.12209242943845827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5289651282546108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13354839757035664,0.10762217349581148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09208725426159818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328689180965857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833109104248195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734822888522856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169778168046076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894324112876896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,hjkljgtj,2020/01/14,"Someone close to me Someone close to me told me they could pay for my rehab yesterday. I think I should accept the offer, right?",3.848399999999998,5.5868116400000005,4.3889999999999985,85.85950000000003,72.6,6.6000000000000005,24.5,7.1686216300943375,1.0602,101,3,19,1,2,32,19,25,0.055999999999999994,0.84,0.10400000000000001,0.29600000000000004,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,7,1,3,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,13,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33854217571767675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36210724262288746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7185345540866674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2716922533072328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4051653417762966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,tiredtooyoung,2020/01/14,"Support I can't find many sobriety chats so I'll try here.

I've been on about a fifth every other day and a gram of coke a day. I decided to get back on the wagon tonight but the comedown is literal hell, and I just keep using more. Is anyone down to talk it out with me for a couple hours until I can get to detox in the morning?",2.387260273972604,2.7924214246575367,4.4903013698630145,88.87353424657536,74.4794520547945,7.4838356164383555,24.189041095890413,7.554174236665415,0.9173528767123292,256,7,60,3,5,89,56,73,0.124,0.85,0.027000000000000003,-0.8294,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,1,0,7,0,5,2,0,1,0,10,10,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,1,1,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,5,1,13,9,1,11,1,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,6,40,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19750437530897613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21719625762378514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3125394276065173,0.0,0.3643299410710915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23798687217001796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581656440056479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951500375182237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781687038158938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510656836164114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28637268096300034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32053514266962874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270326898850344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917735230986825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439569431738919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,mrshaokahn,2020/01/14,"2 Years trying to be clean. Now 24 days clean :) Thoughts and lessons about the process About two years ago I said to my self that I am addicted. That's a huge first step to begin with, after that I've tried many times to be clean from porn, alcohol, gambling and other stuff. I find myself with a compulsive/addictive personality. I not heavily addicted to any of this things, but I always struggle to quit them. I used to watch porn daily for the last 10 years at least and I've been drinking for about the same period. Btw, I'm 24 now.

As I say in the title, I've trying to be clean in the last two years. I'd say that porn is my biggest issue, but every time I tried to quit, I'd abuse alcohol, internet surfing or something like this. I am 24 days clean now, but even though I relapsed many times, I've made a huge progress. That's something I want to scream \*When you relapse, you don't lose all your progress\*. 

I see a lot of people quitting things cold turkey. I tried that, but was way harder for me. What I did for drink less was never to buy drinks in my house and when I buy drinks I only buy beer (which prevents me to be too drunk). Gambling, I can only play poker, which I can earn money or at least keep me playing for hours with little money. About porn I had to stop 100%. I tried to only watch soft porn, see images or something like that but that trigger me so hard that I couldn't help my self after the first 10 seconds. 

One thing that I didn't paying enough attention in the begging was my triggers. Every time I am home alone or I am using my mobile at the toilet I want to see porn. Thus, I don't bring my phone to my toilet and if I have a stressful day or I having anxiety problems I don't let myself to be alone at home. Avoid your triggers is so much easier to avoid the urge after you are triggered!

Another find that I've recent find out. Sometimes people like me have a deep problem and addiction is just a symptom. Also, the way you see yourself makes a lot of difference. If you find yourself worthless you can do a lot of shit to yourself. But let me tell you something, you are not worthless at all! 

At least, if you think you have the same problem and if you have insurance or can afford a therapist, please do therapy!",2.83283342165695,4.359998614379087,3.87599481834776,89.36900370959198,74.838779956427,6.617935582641463,24.170111287758345,7.2228458231874715,0.8900988164635231,1760,54,370,19,37,569,200,459,0.128,0.763,0.109,-0.9452,1,4,11,0,1,0,58.0,0,13,1,10,16,17,1,4,21,0,38,19,1,9,3,66,55,30,0,10,19,0,2,3,0,0,6,4,7,3,21,11,8,5,8,9,8,2,8,12,0,6,10,13,59,5,51,37,13,50,0,3,6,6,23,16,1,13,33,247,80,2,0.0,0.07973342318109565,0.0,0.2934453890260345,0.0,0.0,0.059652846680380275,0.14383551219697782,0.0,0.13939439163398618,0.0,0.05381568752521215,0.05599472719289382,0.0,0.0,0.04576282289527988,0.07056454438000202,0.051480395468460206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13019888235413296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030882178380654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636934337673824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06953359531749326,0.0,0.0444476305127576,0.0,0.11339766981689832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24602518777678656,0.1144819732344319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06028299027629176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04510633644943498,0.0,0.13500449378175247,0.0,0.0662718967249893,0.07764925100097549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023836613502349,0.0,0.05981477724693258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10970861031760752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13762713887850428,0.0,0.09863063073977156,0.06744714412483989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07528575218326143,0.0,0.17163508967145588,0.0,0.06367603820277931,0.044919851866746,0.13645288256582006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049469476448955,0.0,0.05190195648743799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045600749159835884,0.15354235543999467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09330758674139696,0.05875928949397015,0.0,0.07386956489103609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19317632209016536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21472915035693035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06644557091953551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06401283685396908,0.10703117183501924,0.0,0.0,0.214501211911119,0.0,0.14040646296827436,0.0,0.06907722252011178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20722753117834344,0.06655635247236409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05626152907938077,0.07708605237754868,0.07035121502691306,0.07703653214763724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699451422632367,0.0,0.0,0.058818687220315614,0.0,0.07695755479899026,0.07813453706359343,0.1341231749522843,0.04311983889296269,0.06611687338216778,0.053424614138014775,0.1569607320111736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741328181719859,0.0,0.13147462982901947,0.0,0.0,0.1162423315173853,0.0,0.0,0.07938452209372053,0.10683107950969133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733427735719313
addiction,_JoSeyTRUTH_,2020/01/14,"What to do when caught in the cycle of drug addition, yet again, but not for the “normal” “typical” reasons one usually uses SO I’ve been a user of meth consistently, for about 10 months now then on and off 1  1/2 years before that. I snort up to 2-3 little lines a day. I also take kratom everyday and have been for about a year in a half now. 
I don’t use one or the other to numb myself or my emotions. 
I don’t do it to get through life bc I feel it’s difficult. 
I actually have a pretty good life. I have a really good job, as I am a work horse that dedicates everything within myself to contributing to making my business better in healthy, responsible ways. I’m like that off drugs too so it’s not that. The drugs do not interfere w my job in any negative way, in fact I work around a lot of people that I can tell are on drugs and it affects them in negative ways like someone always having to compensate because of it or their dependability becomes almost non existent. I am reliable, dependable, and work within the parameters of getting the job done correctly and efficiently. I have an incredible person I share my life with. We’ve been living together for almost a year now and we live in a beautiful beach town in a condo on the beach. Might I add that we work together as well. Him and I are basically a consult team for restaurants in need of help and we work very well together. He doesn’t know I do this stuff. Infact, nobody knows I do it except the person I get it from. I am a VERY VERY private drug addict and I truly only use this stuff to create maybe a little “get up and go” for me when it’s time to clean the condo as I’ve always associated drugs with cleaning it’s one of my FAVORITEST things to do and I also use it to curb my appetite bc if I eat throughout the day, I will become lethargic and lazy and I got shit to do. Plus when I eat more than I do now I gain 20-25lbs and I’m really not meant to be at that kind of weight so, when my appetite is curbed it truly keeps me at a healthy weight, not feeling uncomfortable with that tire around my body. 

I don’t look anorexic I don’t “tweak” out and pick at my skin or have any other “tweak” habits. I eat at night pretty healthy eats and I legitimately also sleep every single night. 
This stuff makes me so normal that NO ONE suspects ANYTHING not even my boyfriend who is around me most of everyday. It’s not something I’m proud of in any sense so please don’t think that, I just use it in such an “innocent” manner that I don’t feel guilty that I have this secret. I have severe ADHD (yes, as an adult) and this stuff mellows me out and helps me concentrate as well and I’m actually very high strung off of it. 

I take care of myself, I bathe, I brush my teeth multiple times a day. I even, every two days or so, clean my nostrils w q tips and hydrogen peroxide. I am so “ on pointly normal” w this stuff it’s scary. 3 years ago, I spent the previous decade in a downward spiral of depression and drug addiction as I was addicted to opiates then eventually shooting up heroin. I was so lost and miserable that I relied on drugs to cope and deal with life until I slowly but surely lost every single thing I had. I ended up waking up right before it was too late, and got help and sober. I had loved life sober and only started dabbling eventually w meth to help w my ADHD, curbing my appetite, and making things like cleaning the house fun. That self destructive life I lived before is not appealing in any way that would have me go down that road again of using other drugs. I am comfortable w myself. I’m happy w myself. I love and accept myself and have a beautiful perspective on life that I truly don’t feel i could go down that path again despite using the small amounts of ice that I currently am now.
So, my question to you is, how do I get off it when i use it in like, the most innocent “healthiest” type of way? I want off this stuff!! I do 2-3 little lines day and I also take kratom. I barely take enough of this stuff to have withdrawals But I do and it’s NOT the just “eating and sleeping for a couple days” type withdrawals, I sleep on this stuff legitimately every night and when I don’t use it will actually mess with me sleeping BUT it’s also like there is other stuff in meth now bc every time I try to stop I have like very light, yet uncomfortable “opiate” type like withdrawals and I CANNOT tolerate feeling shitty in any sense I have such a busy life, I have to keep moving..And please, people, keep in mind that I have no reason to lie or fabricate anything I’ve said here nor am I in denial. I’m looking for honest, real results in asking y’all how I kick this, that I’ve given you guys the absolute truth. 
I have big important things coming up that I cannot afford to possibly have any illegal substance within my body. 

I HAVE TO AND NEED TO DO THIS ON MY OWN I KNOW FOR A FACT I CAN
just askin y’all if you have any tips bc this is not a typical “addiction” situation but, I acknowledge that it is an addiction nonetheless 
* I’m not trying to come off arrogant or hypocritical so please don’t think that, I tried wording things the best way considering I only had a short time to write this*",3.1555287629508264,4.549921128666039,4.764915084108272,83.85944406627131,73.75875118259225,7.918633038742874,24.526951565636754,8.519232481742142,1.5303244663913054,4071,123,839,73,82,1373,382,1057,0.08900000000000001,0.731,0.18,0.9986,5,0,14,1,0,0,85.0,3,5,2,12,53,36,2,1,44,1,77,44,11,21,5,150,142,83,0,10,29,0,8,7,0,4,24,1,7,5,79,53,7,8,18,4,1,6,28,9,3,6,19,15,121,27,124,117,10,124,0,4,2,2,34,65,1,18,54,575,200,13,0.0,0.0,0.1036011665348184,0.19289149349206253,0.08505934040508578,0.0,0.031369453036348686,0.0,0.07087222560744412,0.0,0.0,0.14149942344630756,0.05889153871807955,0.0,0.0,0.16845605238609065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058242851854684724,0.09450884836483453,0.03308313609284398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.021572283144169046,0.07816684594403356,0.09033810815924996,0.0,0.03713767217045735,0.031297936162997496,0.0,0.07861649703420509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03608056966949752,0.0,0.0,0.060967502388979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028254552144414618,0.03915630646872858,0.0,0.13693454554739198,0.03648362092288497,0.030479755191529238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03621435617244054,0.0,0.0,0.3693510916968932,0.18105452165632008,0.0,0.039806897082545284,0.0313433904063323,0.03656541094254237,0.0,0.04674706859900822,0.0,0.1490801812364527,0.0,0.03180458054556447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08946654045240626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244421905282292,0.0,0.06033569053232753,0.059363789726624976,0.05660626048595236,0.0,0.0,0.03503982468856018,0.0,0.03767133562112678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948797035939391,0.037389515385959526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04083316502285024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053518125463397,0.09436382084735144,0.0,0.03685130463209788,0.05834519274405784,0.0,0.0399193660224702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999655322119812,0.1210220119563897,0.1064046464402452,0.09374513423134354,0.0,0.05943425376364489,0.0,0.07726067554826828,0.030085733173731068,0.06387836031670305,0.0,0.07086557952968987,0.0,0.03555214552711604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03754122674113346,0.03573193579526223,0.0,0.028246477638478137,0.0,0.0,0.052479718371265666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09962812314239346,0.10401859780411284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959196845613249,0.08074283083039224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04906736431041055,0.0617991219130387,0.0,0.11653666047560178,0.03345323302336445,0.039894813386183926,0.0,0.07200492616858152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0396428184411644,0.0,0.0,0.04027945349778639,0.04534110036900792,0.07276980854121262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03022128024926129,0.033662227222334334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03691755038684296,0.03997852807401706,0.03632541962894705,0.0,0.03977775475894023,0.1416547971596899,0.0,0.029984258213865737,0.027243520925194872,0.0,0.0,0.02504790933015732,0.0,0.0,0.029586071619768513,0.0,0.0,0.3645986085480405,0.0,0.0,0.03335290540743216,0.0,0.10642991589464536,0.0,0.030930796250235395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11755154676564825,0.04535058547449329,0.0,0.0,0.08254044166168592,0.040673463878965775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07207867724606304,0.0,0.03456907302337699,0.0,0.0,0.2750759356898089,0.03897503925087132,0.14599461811684572,0.020872843260730668,0.16853676151236766,0.0,0.08618644763623699,0.09545456987906224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288149456777161,0.0,0.0,0.02513872102321208,0.0,0.0,0.0911552138306178
addiction,Peach3434,2020/01/15,"Sex addiction relapse. Feeling desperate and low. Please help. Need help, relapsed, feeling extremely low.

It had been almost 5 months since I acted out. I have been with my partner for 2 years. I have relapsed twice and told him about them. I’ve gone to meetings, and go to therapy bi-weekly. We hit a rough patch recently and had a big fight tonight. I feel very hopeless, scared, and alone. 

I went for a drive, and someone I know asked me what I was up to. He said he was free if I wanted to hang out and catch up. So I went, even though I knew it was not a good idea. When I got there, we talked, and then he started coming on to me and I didn’t stop it. We fooled around but didn’t have sex or kiss. I left shortly after and felt like absolute garbage. 

I got home crying and my partner asked me what was wrong, I felt so incredibly guilty and told him that I went over to someone else’s place with the intentions of talking. I told him that the other guy showed interest and made sexual advances on me. He asked if I kissed him and I said no, and he asked if we had sex and I said no. Which are true, but I didn’t tell him the touching we did. 

He’s very upset and keeps saying “how many more times is this going to happen?” To which I don’t know how to answer, because I wish it would never happen again. I feel very hopeless and worthless and like I will never be able to change this. I want to be with him for the rest of my life, and I keep messing up like this. I guess this is my last resort. I’m feeling so bad tonight I have no clue how I will be able to sleep or look at  myself. 

I am going to a meeting tonight and have started Step 1. I’ve defined new triggers and strategies. But I still feel so alone and my partner is still very mad at me.",1.144072204968943,3.0032275298913085,2.4589409937888185,96.16028260869568,80.7663043478261,5.292670807453416,21.383850931677014,6.1826913282559595,0.046195093167701984,1353,40,312,10,35,435,178,368,0.16699999999999998,0.726,0.107,-0.9757,1,2,0,0,1,2,44.0,5,0,1,1,16,22,2,2,9,0,30,8,1,6,3,76,76,41,0,8,9,0,10,3,3,3,2,4,1,4,15,35,0,3,13,1,1,14,10,13,0,1,29,15,55,10,34,40,2,51,0,5,1,5,41,17,0,7,23,198,70,0,0.17142610452017362,0.0,0.0,0.09343987868518716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582924061373008,0.17754574487479244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07630278873383184,0.3205205338065449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156681840058778,0.05224988109796065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09067304414602637,0.07383420496974223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09415176313283892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716022567046611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05661266263873885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26003456767056143,0.0,0.16459594354244292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461381085724154,0.07189204160754055,0.1371051158574587,0.0,0.0944225904394424,0.08486939752436566,0.1515915380837853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490330435267487,0.0,0.08597718003197431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675960297305926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15237139825125032,0.0,0.0,0.09421130386434877,0.06986757756066314,0.0,0.0,0.09312748207359048,0.0,0.06054166364740213,0.1256252034023284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07197737651463794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110376250339606,0.0,0.08689958179621025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06841534056378329,0.0,0.0,0.06355514218471275,0.13221437989008036,0.08278219998462713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08955189651856436,0.094087192235058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08463129860716352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24459822237243115,0.06816245942723148,0.08581371807521034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709027225637862,0.0,0.08577495320135052,0.0,0.14524878206120748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12133627910469665,0.0,0.13690110850993722,0.0716599496658516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13778580930788714,0.07491698563102182,0.0,0.09802034522598432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421263865659892,0.0,0.049979970058963964,0.0,0.0,0.24570748376001555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828889788463305,0.10111155794321522,0.0,0.06875384039142991,0.0,0.0,0.2383705745022747,0.0,0.0,0.09856578003098322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06088809309795614,0.09371376718604073,0.0,0.05519639544269042
addiction,jillieboobean,2020/01/15,"Having a rough day today. I don't know if this is the place to post, but I'm really struggling today so hopefully I can get some encouragement. 

I used to be a meth addict. It pretty much developed from my being ADHD and being on meds since I was a kid.  Ritalin, then Adderall every day. Then twice a day. Then three times. Eventually I found myself an adult, a mom, and the meds weren't working anymore. I started abusing my adderall. When that ran out, I started using meth. I rationalized it in my head, telling myself I was prescribed what was essentially ""government meth"" my whole life. 

I was a functional addict for a while. I held a job. I was a good mother to my kids. I rationalized that I was a better mother on the shit, because I had the energy to play with them, and the motivation to keep the house clean and cook good meals. 

Of course... It spun out of control. I lost jobs, houses, cars. Every belonging I ever had, gone. Lost custody of my kids to my parents. Did things I'm not proud of.  Ended up in jail. 

I've been clean now a little over 4 years. And I'm doing great. Good job. Have my kids back. Sometimes I beat myself up over my past, but I'm determined to make up for it. 

I haven't had any desire whatsoever to do meth for years. Every now and again the thought enters my mind, and I shut it down with reminders of who I was on that shit. All I lost on that shit. How I destroyed my life and hurt all the people that love me. 

But today. Today is a hard one. I haven't had a day off in a few weeks. My house is a disaster. I've got piles of laundry. My sister in law is flying in to stay with us for a few days and I've got to get this place clean. 

And I'm so overwhelmed. 

I'm still living with ADHD. And unmedicated. I'm too scared to take meds again, worried I'll let it get out of control. Again. 

My favorite thing in the world used to be to get wired and clean. I loved it. I was good at it. If I had some Adderall or a 20 of ice I'd be good to go. 

I'm determined not to do it. I'm determined to stay clean.  

But gosh it's hard. And I hate these thoughts I'm having.",-0.058458922030347076,2.096571156462588,2.3270238095238085,93.4841620879121,88.00226757369612,5.206366649223792,18.231336124193266,6.67199483983844,-0.0212784231641372,1604,43,365,20,52,546,194,441,0.106,0.6709999999999999,0.223,0.9962,4,0,4,0,0,0,68.0,1,0,1,10,13,25,5,3,27,0,36,13,4,8,3,52,75,28,0,4,9,5,3,0,0,0,5,0,5,5,22,20,2,4,5,2,0,5,6,12,0,3,27,3,48,13,54,42,8,64,0,5,0,2,17,26,3,6,30,237,70,6,0.0,0.08545452384593279,0.0,0.15725046657691805,0.17335680183811533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049046436040752914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715271067836976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05545850015663928,0.0,0.043965800774018564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06378735235320884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16178521940302173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325683728970803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06387999123586377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652398120468173,0.18230141437861053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907966737524195,0.0,0.0,0.15072615505456094,0.0,0.04098943277938219,0.3024687436731745,0.1153674627045809,0.07951638551619758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12921693374105353,0.07120699953407064,0.0740194927035202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716348840947676,0.0,0.2496624190915805,0.07720967139955329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147142595264011,0.06410665822007568,0.0,0.0,0.03963717552385159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375113943388978,0.10188588630312556,0.0,0.07228666920352078,0.06368634955642041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361938775409181,0.0,0.13018850367789014,0.0,0.04814297943516272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24033876407917576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07282414939325307,0.08447014192522485,0.0,0.0,0.053019052565340334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048872733052247805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08008458345807971,0.0,0.06885001757810523,0.050001336190527663,0.0,0.15070736080294736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907435202857054,0.07337550266512864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046204144743886566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722081802540169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221011311272256,0.05966128360618615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07133196070774532,0.0,0.10209873327321348,0.15374805547276574,0.05759790009096424,0.0,0.0,0.07539911548075938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054227877125332585,0.0,0.06303909589130291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09583126368658268,0.0,0.0,0.11451596534235263,0.042055778120987694,0.0,0.2734584834979612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675565977985067,0.18687457582244613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05785310101339657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052328386651615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052506748595252985,0.07324488955258864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289030613973936
addiction,CrakeAndOryxGoesLast,2020/01/15,"Help - some advise needed. I'm an addict.

Been an addict for all my adulthood, benzos and alcohol mainly but sometimes heavier stuff to - IV heroin etc.

Was clean for a few months for the first time last year. It was amazing. 

Now it's all going away.

I want to love myself again.",0.7850000000000001,3.3352992592592616,2.12027777777778,91.88375000000002,93.44444444444444,3.4407407407407407,16.00925925925926,5.148860815047168,-0.6093629629629636,216,5,40,1,8,69,45,54,0.065,0.665,0.27,0.9267,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,4,0,3,5,0,0,2,7,8,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,3,2,6,5,6,9,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,7,30,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.552455195662884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707920417417177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23806401967892984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825918136987078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21552957820540136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14400481982142574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16983896057468906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065430027034424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286903080101389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022498899257429,0.0,0.0,0.18788213878858576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506047401171848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29006577736368605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477511236459217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494533338262813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16317195545017085
addiction,DecMateee,2020/01/15,"Gaming addiction So I'm 29 and live with my parents. Over the years I've constantly played video games,.. almost all the time I have any spare free time. I have a job, I've suffered with anxiety and depression. The main games I got addicted too are overwatch and RuneScape. I can literally see time slip by, by the week, in a blink when I play these games. 
My social skills and confidence are at an all time low. I don't have any friends,.. and have used games as an avoidance all my life without even knowing it. 
So I'm quitting,.. but I'm still struggling. Has anyone else been through this? Just the thought of playing these games sends adrenaline running through my veins.. is anyone else like this?",3.126234213547648,5.550263999999999,3.0479104477611965,91.56970723306546,76.91044776119405,6.5111366245694615,27.471871412169925,7.61054688173877,1.521132721010333,552,23,111,8,13,166,86,134,0.096,0.804,0.10099999999999999,0.1556,2,1,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,2,7,11,0,2,9,0,11,4,1,1,3,18,19,10,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,5,7,0,1,2,10,1,2,2,5,0,0,3,1,10,7,12,16,4,15,0,3,1,0,10,4,0,1,10,64,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3532392664800417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622340398101315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203507241362793,0.0,0.12394058869855325,0.0,0.0,0.22656850053040956,0.3320058408177496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17508003254570462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13954278350265975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706845192071053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10700899715080854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12517193985783606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12957773286318355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607743137194697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08903888880060842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443557696784536,0.07915206249134991,0.0,0.1430617020846641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17989784153202729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17232227960307162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12910451754933067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651532993676572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12938492598348444,0.0,0.0,0.16937265004959196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286213531773526,0.37788764734605057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399284413887589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299581960577003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561761204549325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043319753453896
addiction,not-moses,2020/01/15,"Alcohol Dependence results in Brain-Wide Remodeling of Functional Architecture in Mice And the vast majority of studies on mice are relevant to humans because their three-layer, mammalian brains are sufficiently similar to ours. See the story at [this link](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/01/200114173106.htm). 

""Our results confirm these regions are important, but the fact that we see such a massive remodeling of the functional brain architecture was a real shock.""

""'Reduced modularity,' said George, likely interferes with 'normal neuronal activity and information processing and contributes to cognitive impairment, emotional distress and intense craving observed in mice during abstinence from alcohol. ... This [data] would be critical to understanding when the switch to addiction happens and when does your brain come back to normal, if it ever does. We are also very interested in comparing the brain network of alcohol dependence with other drugs, such as cocaine, nicotine and methamphetamines.'""",17.996598173515977,17.01392486986302,14.75205479452055,32.63803652968039,43.45205479452054,18.77442922374429,59.94977168949771,16.52667757954773,10.350040182648405,845,52,82,33,6,258,101,146,0.05,0.893,0.057,-0.2048,0,0,6,0,0,0,39.0,4,1,1,0,7,4,0,1,8,0,7,10,5,4,2,26,13,12,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,1,5,1,2,1,6,11,3,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,3,6,2,20,9,1,12,0,0,2,0,9,7,0,3,5,62,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13698898607597482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4028800256766216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049101801911414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09662551560107684,0.0,0.07660175007627189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7013959057511185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10824578347974796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21993349204811305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14572680976005664,0.0,0.0,0.14135165764562224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11366752542777513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11112156496778136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06139159383134352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2462421054839725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14302967420860355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195323415450774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20027101894018876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308174828398758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10368344578761232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926593500501681,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,throwaway47536,2020/01/15,"Can finally sleep on my own! Throwaway account. So for the past 3+ years I have been taking Benadryl every night. I got so physically dependent on it that I would have heart palpitations and wouldn’t be able to sleep if I didn’t take any. Recently I got so fed up with it and having to sneak pills past my SO (so he wouldn’t know how dependent I was) that I started to wean myself off of them. It was hard as hell but I’m proud to say I haven’t taken anything to sleep for the past 3 weeks. My head is clearer, I feel more alert, and I can’t wait to see what the rest of this year brings.",2.61122484689414,3.306961653543308,4.036167979002627,91.25867891513563,74.1968503937008,7.534208223972003,23.559930008748907,7.793537801064563,0.7917793525809271,458,12,110,6,9,152,80,127,0.034,0.9,0.066,0.6890000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,1,6,2,1,0,3,0,15,7,5,3,0,15,28,12,0,4,2,0,2,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,7,4,1,1,2,0,1,1,5,1,0,0,8,4,15,1,16,16,3,15,1,0,1,0,3,4,1,3,10,70,22,0,0.165902274367699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11281923560143302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365234360147251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13977982146120754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388517472590386,0.0,0.0,0.1817378323307082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.265374408546074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14861585130582802,0.0,0.17026359630857302,0.0,0.0,0.1965949939140306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09117555127318727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15568804596580638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4751174793528066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638084813385933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13193214740690712,0.0,0.0,0.13220263323118506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4980662610184564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11742648369177733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24947572706343135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13307679742684309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11785221574202387,0.0,0.0,0.21367125074614535
addiction,kazamakarate,2020/01/15,"Addicted to hookers Intro: I like to think I live a disciplined lifestyle. I have a good sleeping and eating rhythm, harsh training regime, I don't party, drink or do drugs and try to be productive every single day. I contribute to society in all kind of ways and work 48 hours a week as a firefighter in a busy European city. I don't have any social media apps and I think this lifestyle, combined with my introvert nature, rarely brings me into contact with girls.

Since a year I also quit watching porn. The first few weeks had their difficult times but it was doable. However, after a few months the urge and need for a sexual partner became unbearable to the point of thinking about sex all day, every day, which messed up my productivity. 

Telling myself I can't relapse no matter what, I started looking up online hookers. It helped, ever since then I haven't thought about watching porn again. Except that looking up prostitutes now feels like a worse addiction, it feels just as wrong as watching porn for similar reasons, except it also costs money. I don't want to watch porn and I don't want to visit hookers. I need help.",6.203362533692727,7.290156061320758,6.290242587601083,76.93575471698115,66.21698113207547,9.076010781671158,32.123989218328845,9.23628265651192,2.9289140161725085,903,36,155,16,14,287,132,212,0.10099999999999999,0.835,0.063,-0.6882,1,0,2,0,1,0,25.0,0,0,1,3,8,7,0,0,12,0,12,11,1,1,3,30,26,14,0,4,5,0,2,2,1,0,3,0,0,2,8,9,2,1,7,1,2,2,7,3,0,1,3,8,19,4,27,22,5,27,0,0,6,5,9,7,0,1,19,100,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946489308364349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161456323326262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09190103059997336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26146576444137265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13238747520625413,0.156721536234276,0.13828375804278822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12224345838848087,0.22772552182053746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13666346821572475,0.096545299917519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11495151150791473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11335049602685544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18116534531875567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13308741077399106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14072934624022465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13204687473719828,0.0,0.1193326494614622,0.0,0.2269700831472897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786886302499564,0.0,0.0,0.2004118044392526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12775264430935193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14373989604921528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13894823649080906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22358131978315435,0.0,0.1352393571618032,0.1377600049046057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565403287370107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11811985432922292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25978014791413684,0.0,0.10728746148209917,0.07880224668702042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09175238369411247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594202221920133,0.1072692382801081,0.21680513552983904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09838481037333653,0.0,0.13772099831147624,0.0,0.14775629899441886,0.0,0.08702686225657542
addiction,swiftalison13,2020/01/15,"Boba tea or milk tea addiction This addiction started 5 years ago and until now, I’m drinking milk tea at least 5 times a week. I do not get fat because I always to reduce the sugar to 25%. But even though it doesn’t affect my health negatively right now (except for the fact that 80% of my allowance are spent for milk teas), I feel like in the long run, this addiction will kill me. Any advice? I just can’t stop myself from drinking almost every day :(",4.475750915750915,5.1216528571428634,5.3667582417582445,83.5990750915751,69.87912087912089,7.8249084249084255,25.05677655677656,7.793537801064563,1.2428446886446878,354,9,71,4,6,116,71,91,0.106,0.866,0.027999999999999997,-0.7927,0,0,2,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,1,0,4,0,5,15,1,2,1,12,10,5,1,0,5,0,1,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,4,1,11,1,1,2,1,1,4,1,0,0,1,2,8,1,10,8,1,15,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,12,42,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6065360424316425,0.0,0.18122928120489687,0.16439902345663532,0.0,0.18571131391040566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15431750505647054,0.0,0.0,0.1261191009862969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305464199589448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11960630160060595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3633602201380162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12249452386422333,0.0,0.15625797608655895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09377410479791487,0.13249259938172475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09689515031636232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19713521573352616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2051839163024309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060634587655232,0.0,0.0,0.1641261875138669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583817529375118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13126948145180392,0.0,0.0,0.15505279217243764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18221342354830766,0.0,0.10814316708946993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487647559756717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943010386067167
addiction,doingtheworstest,2020/01/15,"It feels like every decision I make, makes me feel worse! I posted this in an anxiety sub-reddit first but what interested in the answers I would get here too :) 

Hello! I [25F] have recently come to terms with the fact that what I’ve been dealing with (negative thought trains/spirals, overthinking, etc) is anxiety! Woot. I’ve made a lot of progress in the past year or so regarding a lot of things, mainly my substance use. However, I still just have this sinking black pit feeling that I’m just the worst human being ever, and every move/decision I make, makes it worse!!

Example: tonight at work I had to make a tough call (see my AITA thread I posted tonight for details if you’re curious). This decision at work’s got me anxious and feeling like I’m a horrible person. The way I responded to some commenters on my AITA post has got me feeling anxious and low and shitty about myself. Recently I had a dramatic relapse with my drinking in front of loved ones, and that’s got me feeling horrible too. 

I guess I’m just wondering how people keep moving when everything feels like the wrong move. And when you overthink yourself into being the bad guy time and time again.",4.729182273806384,6.412281058295967,5.4003218148245855,79.70892904246901,70.25560538116592,8.834502769717751,31.50329728303877,9.325443323948027,2.9894813505671327,928,41,167,20,17,300,132,223,0.192,0.669,0.139,-0.9483,1,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,4,14,10,0,0,13,0,10,2,0,8,2,46,38,14,0,2,6,0,7,3,0,1,0,0,0,3,11,12,1,1,12,1,0,4,1,5,0,2,8,9,21,5,19,27,7,32,0,1,2,1,10,9,0,7,18,106,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515020980705043,0.22373184293192896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267867728430699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111185267362242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529811079580639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208664674690662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700320893914287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104349618739668,0.0,0.08957046515938874,0.16685948832786088,0.0,0.08899398954811401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3504771300576973,0.21222258114827053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842274956244937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05173455975867498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375892183278874,0.0,0.1090831625292264,0.0980466882005888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08801471090176531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451304652491193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16836879327960652,0.08937061946519123,0.09369637992047844,0.3304875448653887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3157320197112595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06709941821964563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452706724963393,0.06864892464684882,0.0864616089140436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845051961833907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955432414649866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07890718240283845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907856478264258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06578537396045428,0.0,0.0,0.07861187794754966,0.1154802716547888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552263900284356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859852540745836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10738441212991062,0.14417742014060045,0.0,0.20182239677434927,0.07034191420281735,0.10826428346865986,0.0,0.06376649218244014
addiction,almondmilk47,2020/01/15,"Online resources on how to confront my boyfriend about his addiction? I’ve recently found out my bf has began using heroin, he has yet to tell me himself. I’ve never had to help someone through this, I’ve never gone through this myself. There isn’t anyone I can reach out to and a google search isn’t helping me. I’m so lost. I just want to help him if he’ll let me. 
I obviously want to do this in the most loving way I can. I don’t want him to feel attacked or scared.",2.152799999999999,3.470065280000004,3.6810000000000014,90.93550000000002,76.2,6.2,24.5,6.6274283507984215,0.6704999999999997,368,12,82,3,8,122,65,100,0.177,0.705,0.11800000000000001,-0.7977,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,6,5,2,1,2,0,10,2,0,2,3,17,22,5,0,4,3,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,4,0,0,5,1,15,1,14,15,1,11,0,1,0,1,12,4,0,3,5,55,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23310843220490346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14951629945320274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24326475874494255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081198792237834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23445574035369826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4299812271223721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186576976336018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334228770550949,0.0,0.1929917197963336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3298408264736545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21113329352929053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21408312557406012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18117915146291466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18689858454121985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18468218393751126,0.0,0.0,0.3783709442091986,0.16972988083348015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Txawayxx28,2020/01/15,"Just realized, I’m addicted to Adderall.. even though it’s affecting me negatively Lately, I can only go a few days without giving in & taking more. While using it, my depression evaporates and I finally feel good, things feel more “together.” Once it starts to wear off, I’m a manic, suicidal, mess. I take more pills to knock me out, then wait few days, repeat. My poor brain",5.239718309859157,6.545951563380285,6.401521126760564,74.45861971830986,68.5774647887324,10.75042253521127,29.69295774647888,10.793553405168565,3.520507605633803,295,11,53,9,5,99,54,71,0.209,0.753,0.038,-0.9175,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,1,4,2,2,0,10,12,4,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,3,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,0,2,7,1,7,12,5,12,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,8,33,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399241175768765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23846099356942124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24568660383549554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838720309491907,0.0,0.18955808356027368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14536344993596478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225622331197596,0.0,0.0,0.24109133668750926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21112469039217835,0.1250788465515879,0.1845960727496498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482644126440866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23438234753154044,0.0,0.16738384956685542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557766346868713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407362471232898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3309516556759765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14621407412507625,0.0,0.2162314774249366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19008196998394866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21215318591341692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,penisbreths,2020/01/15,"Sex Addict at 16(f) I've come to accept the fact that I am a sex addict, but it's not about the sex for me. Even tho I do like sex and I masturbate a lot and I am very horny all the time, I go to guys for more than that. I really just want someone to like me for more than sex. I want someone to actually want me, I want to feel wanted. 

I have done some pretty dangerous stuff on the internet, not so much in real life. My rule is that I don't have sex with anyone I am not dating. Which is hard sometimes. 

I can't stop myself from going to the guys. Even if they yell at me and tell me all I am worth is sex, I think that's love. I just want one person I can have sex with all the time but also take care of and be there for.",-0.11016260162601554,1.2837603414634169,2.3447317073170737,97.72547154471548,82.78048780487805,5.5928455284552845,15.201626016260164,6.42735559955562,-0.7746295934959351,552,7,144,5,15,190,87,164,0.034,0.748,0.218,0.9817,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,0,9,6,1,0,8,0,16,12,0,0,4,32,30,10,0,7,8,0,2,2,0,0,3,1,0,3,7,7,0,1,3,0,1,3,5,1,0,1,1,3,24,5,21,28,8,11,0,0,0,9,6,4,0,3,6,103,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.14183406764682446,0.3168912403385592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11623096226619392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162739532070904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14818715262784984,0.0,0.0,0.12520035942631294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487366295655137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19199572104434212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348992550034239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16520386205504628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2878253806267622,0.0,0.0,0.13019902356193824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10266025146513004,0.1420147624480259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12356565249870514,0.1311779777395057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10684402847725563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848836275526453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12690813913252305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14786635967559614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654324634538393,0.09311062189765043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2462977657543655,0.0,0.143748212622326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12151348359900192,0.0,0.0,0.16638327359425778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928005249999062,0.0,0.12703642616567346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931301001207928,0.0,0.0,0.16950166167734915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11992342114274032,0.5143633659426352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,_Knightsky,2020/01/15,"What are some things I can do to keep my mind busy and redirect my energy away from cravings? Hey guys, I was hoping you have some ideas on redirecting myself away from cravings and constant thinking. I am progressively cutting back on how much I take and increasing the amount of time between doses. I am making good progress but I tend to have these lingering thoughts and temptations that are hard to break away from. I’ve been thinking of ways to take my mind off that and help me work through those negative feelings. Also any other advice is very welcome, thank you.",6.581051212938008,7.761653547169812,5.789299191374662,80.52726415094341,65.41509433962264,9.076010781671158,33.06738544474393,9.23628265651192,2.912451752021564,460,19,82,8,7,139,75,106,0.068,0.768,0.16399999999999998,0.8767,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,3,3,5,1,0,1,0,11,1,0,2,0,19,22,8,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,7,5,0,1,5,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,2,13,4,17,19,5,12,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,3,3,62,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.175309341545291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14346753737937795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12199936126874812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5056616290882835,0.1379488937873272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938695888131268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071092958502207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15047370007160882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17763596613453336,0.0,0.0,0.16070875535600568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12024923044185527,0.0,0.0,0.17818644553216542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20252277096675095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15946054366569454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11975208016713144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3622893089942191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13188094936543748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2697756210768775,0.0,0.0,0.16516905417197114,0.0,0.0,0.11918656994389627,0.229906831359189,0.0,0.14242497268540216,0.1046106197024694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480252556634226,0.0,0.14240078123739922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306066313482391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Happyhours1,2020/01/16,"Would I be an a-hole if I don't visit my hospitalised addicted boyfriend?  

My boyfriend relapsed on cocaine that turned into a three day binge, during these past three days he has lied to me nonstop. This relapse has cause him to be hospitalised at the semi-intensive care section because of the amount of sedatives they need to use.

It isn’t something new as this has happened in periods during our entire relationship (we have been together for about a year and a half). However, it’s only the second time he’s been hospitalised due to a relapse during our relationship. But as far as I know, the total count of him being hospitalised because of his addiction is over 10 times, the lengths of the stays has been variant.

The reason I’m considering waiting to visit him to the after tomorrow, is because he’s going to rehab for three months and that means I’m going to stay in his apartment (I used to live there with him, but due to making our relationship healthier I’m living with my grandparents till I find my own place and only spend my weekends with him) taking care of our cat that current lives there. I don’t have any friends in that town, I pretty much only know my in-laws. I’m trying to prepare myself for lonely months, I was informed it was going to be a three months stay a few hours before he was taken to the hospital because of his mental state. He will be leaving Tuesday for rehab which is also sooner that excepted.

I’m really conflicted about whether I should visit him tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. He will be sleeping pretty much all day for the next few days and not remembering much (if pretty much everything) as long as he’s sedated.  
I’m conflicted because; I’ll like to have one more day with my beloved and wonderful grandparents because I won’t be able to visit them very often and I’d like to not rush packing the things I need But it’s also my duty to be there for him and support him when going through this...

I’m so conflicted, please give my your opinion!

(I'm an addict myself but have been sober for 8 months)",6.983684090909094,6.693984327500001,7.342409090909093,74.80495454545455,64.475,10.272727272727273,34.18181818181819,9.800150414767053,3.2553,1641,64,298,30,22,537,188,400,0.013000000000000001,0.87,0.11699999999999999,0.9926,4,2,2,0,0,0,37.0,5,1,2,0,10,7,0,0,20,0,34,6,1,5,2,49,64,25,0,6,11,0,0,2,1,5,5,0,0,0,15,13,0,5,8,1,1,9,6,1,0,7,8,0,42,6,54,43,12,56,0,1,0,0,36,12,0,6,33,208,57,1,0.08161975146753211,0.0,0.0,0.2669327298822389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13054257152036286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05550422985845912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29852785756478195,0.0,0.06945239692011917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16643355258486472,0.08384596795244365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31582792477793786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335456974706198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07459897417485249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06305921751726777,0.0,0.0,0.07829710287999571,0.18554554274763674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07217607666937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037901414860639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971216173130021,0.0,0.0,0.08642353184235392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975057558828656,0.0,0.21621520766699145,0.0722309116249728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054481817892334715,0.0,0.0,0.08890783699819753,0.0,0.0,0.08225351230885034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605924276941345,0.0,0.23999963447041944,0.12104002302611892,0.0,0.07882886457220611,0.08680353164161242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05530765593017047,0.1862264967537592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07791528824314223,0.0,0.0,0.08527526840500797,0.08959397715999122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24910989021840216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052287702783283166,0.08391869825903388,0.0,0.26288720321053033,0.09245926759306336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08167869627591696,0.0,0.0,0.06283487225997879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26098738563269464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09262112672754078,0.0,0.0,0.06136789540018396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054224536140272006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951862668987446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055414453585257525,0.08877885189503386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14098651874226129,0.0,0.06734484287258673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08851313880104293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05798032965746242,0.0,0.0,0.052560443936423305
addiction,ConnectionEdit,2020/01/16,"I’m probably addicted & definitely guilty about it: what do I do now? Hi. Ok. I’m probably addicted to Ritalin. I have bipolar disorder & ADHD and was prescribed it to help me at work. Everything I’m saying to myself to justify using it sounds like exactly what an addict would say....

Yes I’m depending on it, but is it really that bad? because it helps me achieve my dreams. also I’ve actually been prescribed it so I probably need it? It’s changed my life profoundly for the better but now I feel I really need it. 

Kind of scared to be honest. Please help.",1.0251351351351374,3.6143756576576567,3.9860900900900913,79.66454054054056,89.7207207207207,8.725765765765766,25.418018018018017,9.029198982220553,3.0432709909909907,442,20,83,16,15,157,72,111,0.099,0.659,0.242,0.9470000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,3,5,7,0,1,2,2,8,6,0,2,1,10,16,5,0,3,2,0,1,1,0,1,6,3,0,0,13,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,4,10,5,10,12,0,4,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,3,50,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.13737558618450435,0.4603948891176593,0.16918356915443836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11257730134248807,0.0,0.30505818201207674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11754081121706195,0.08581481680340966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245035882480717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14892073453354576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16133975099278244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12651902604776574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07117980723364754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28307450101114423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465949586715354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943317890302794,0.06877530046846786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20876498736027368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545281060077633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4553360999436888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18036747412538667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238990346275072,0.1409398134712893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215839524288833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248549855384513,0.0,0.0,0.10000215206066752,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,soontobesoberplease,2020/01/16,Is their a way out I just wanna here story's from you guys who get off opiates. I dont see a way out... and I cant find and exit. I've looked for detox programs but nobody will take my insurance. I've tried cold turkey and it's so fucking hard. I feel like I'm never going to get clean and I'm going to lose everything. I'm so scared. I just wanna move on in my life. This fentanyl is no joke. Please if you are thinking about touching any opiate and your reading this DONT... I cant stress that enough. Jts not worth it man. It's like selling your soul to the devil...,-0.7757621951219491,1.3362537967479682,1.4146290650406534,98.61267530487808,92.33333333333334,3.72540650406504,15.817581300813007,5.148860815047168,-0.9322516260162595,439,10,102,2,16,146,83,123,0.124,0.7240000000000001,0.152,0.5678,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,4,1,1,6,8,1,2,3,0,8,3,0,0,1,18,21,9,0,3,5,0,3,2,0,1,2,0,1,2,7,7,0,0,3,2,2,3,7,5,0,0,0,6,13,3,13,20,1,12,2,1,2,1,8,6,1,1,3,60,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12693366915612272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4375229801388152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19286735006412314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16775594780988082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943797656401262,0.13334833220371473,0.0,0.0,0.17060179974470413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17256207992217532,0.195041938245758,0.0,0.21216379901659252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848205164441715,0.0,0.0,0.1672086785595088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184188727732832,0.1823830940911817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567454970551989,0.20882227439657394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983876457632555,0.0,0.0,0.1439619620583207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048941546294479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18670825986861356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18687696808618828,0.0,0.14874205820201752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21381581926084695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403433963753542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11960274777256323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12672835810524066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963204637333085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,-thrwawayacc-,2020/01/16,"Freaked Out (rant/ advice?) Not sure I even belong here but I guess it's better to say something rather than nothing at all. I know that the internet isn't a therapist- I'm not looking for that- I just need to get this off my chest for tonight. That being said, the reason I'm posting is because I'm terrified that I may get myself addicted to a substance.

Addiction runs strong in my family and I've seen up close and personal how addiction can tear a person apart. My Mom is now sober and I am extremely grateful for that. But for some reason I can't stop researching and obsessing over substances/addiction/recovery. It's in the back of my mind 24/7 - thoughts like ""i'm sure if I just tried it once,"" or ""it doesn't even matter if something bad happens,""- all of these crazy rationalizations. I feel a strong drive to use things I should never use and constantly think of ways I could get a hold of something. I've only drank and smoked weed a handful of times- so it feels ridiculous to call myself an addict. Luckily my access to alcohol/drugs is pretty limited but of course if there's a will there's a way. If something were offered to me I wouldn't say ""no"". Which is why I'm so fucking scared I am going to do something that is going to ruin my life. I've recently relapsed on self-harm which I am currently seeking help for. I am so ashamed of these thoughts I don't really know what to do. After writing this I do feel a bit better but I'm just so worried and confused. I don't want to put my family through any more pain. I guess my question is has any one else felt like this before?",2.2259622490762005,4.387449359133125,3.5980065914311403,87.82467991610909,78.62848297213623,7.016039149106161,25.28003595326076,8.049812674583475,1.5705836212923203,1265,48,257,23,31,414,174,323,0.16899999999999998,0.7090000000000001,0.122,-0.9329,1,0,8,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,0,5,16,18,2,4,13,0,27,10,2,5,5,60,59,21,0,10,15,1,5,2,0,4,6,3,0,2,20,9,1,3,12,0,0,5,10,10,0,1,7,10,30,8,34,46,5,28,0,1,2,1,11,10,1,11,12,165,50,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4055872903136133,0.0,0.09089026201315402,0.0,0.09940155447061252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12650271586684655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07152049622818127,0.07766114521952598,0.056699259438063275,0.0,0.07914637187347864,0.0,0.0,0.16452313281094694,0.10154502761448436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09497566400221016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10051294225559107,0.0,0.07426252342582816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786440499648796,0.0,0.07769960129931935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12286711391420528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753668948217698,0.0,0.14108900446658856,0.0,0.08930611811220025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598810666592177,0.14578481261150886,0.0,0.1057217401917832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049264357981054,0.0,0.0822502153671223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062343991286492526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022339390550578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569713503309765,0.0908819420572946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810666472184385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09391561775543496,0.10893454474775824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06896722862580211,0.07173659795297517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08924753442252414,0.0,0.0,0.09905475759664006,0.06302734675571177,0.07073982669367268,0.09897133900242992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16242900313215106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907979696115201,0.09462665500833932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935027625279818,0.10419474066003878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05958587683669755,0.19126367970242672,0.09183814116842187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08847572330599918,0.14793377094027124,0.09312125046502888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09703181407421728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35802595641376433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07776220714847254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17532544182467186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079941152686501,0.06179304807810925,0.0595983418700257,0.0,0.14768229656772933,0.054236052399178336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06314905093439485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606650300976111,0.0,0.0,0.05486089475745131,0.14765721214235775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839288740761882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09445821347825134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,LacetteDoll,2020/01/16,"What is it that you are running away from or hoping to numb yourself from that is ""fixed"" by turning to drugs? I am a medical doctor and I am on a quest to better understand my patients so that I am able to help them help themselves. I have done a lot of delving into spirituality (which is incorporated somewhat into the 12 steps program) myself and self-reflection in meditation, and have also attended trauma courses in relation to mental health. Although I have much more experience and interaction with those addicted to prescription drugs than those with illicit drug dependence. 

What is it that keeps you coming back time and time again while the rest of your life suffers as a result? I am of the opinion that it is greater than the ""feeling"" that drugs give you in that moment as opposed to a larger deep seated dissatisfaction and disconnection to the world around you.",10.899973045822101,9.0785893836478,10.337753818508537,61.40264150943396,57.679245283018865,13.110871518418687,42.21114106019766,11.765960540728905,5.033646181491465,708,31,115,16,7,230,99,159,0.07,0.8440000000000001,0.085,0.3527,0,0,4,0,0,0,14.0,0,5,1,1,5,5,0,0,10,0,14,10,0,2,0,23,21,13,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,10,0,0,0,15,12,0,2,2,0,0,4,0,3,0,0,1,1,14,2,28,20,6,20,0,1,0,0,10,10,0,6,6,100,29,2,0.14812726999746156,0.0,0.0,0.16148058870347773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845732430006138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318646751026823,0.0,0.0,0.13917044621416932,0.1139007272773402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13100653287783978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12759852701796487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516145375322619,0.0,0.15158562589707367,0.0,0.0,0.6871224236051401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14489689345215348,0.0,0.0,0.07489759843718857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14209717488465698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15745236126387946,0.0,0.0,0.19857317338090946,0.0,0.0,0.14712380201009104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13166232361068197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10462667144301688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12593250787053914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14922264074326566,0.1492774482517179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088905871902639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545290479645495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17274840468694094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611199339408863,0.0,0.15420571205611006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,letslivefortoday444,2020/01/16,"Was sold “adderall” realized its was meth but to late. I feel so stupid. I’m a child and hooked on meth. Tf I’m really scared to post this as nobody i know irl knows about this besides my dealer. The paranoia is actually really scaring me. Anyways i was giving adhd stimulants and loved the feeling. I do not have adhd and they made me feel super happy and just overall amazing. I got in loads of trouble but it didn’t really stop me in tracks. Eventually I guess i was hooked and my own prescription wasn’t enough. I looked other places and found a dealer. I remember taking me first pill from him. I thought it was really good stuff and remember walking around my middle school classrooms thinking i was the shit. Makes you super self centered. I got very good at hiding it because deep down part of me knew what was going on. I am very hygienic and have a list of lies when questions arise. I don’t go long without sleep, i eat and drink loads of water. Nobody knows. Maybe my history teacher though. I remember shaking so bad i was struggling to cut out a piece of paper. But yeah tonight i took a drug test. I knew exactly what i was doing and was not surprised when i showed up positive for meth. Unmarked capsules i should have known. I’m very ashamed to say this but i sold myself. Gross i feel so gross. I don’t know what to do from here. I deleted my dealers phone number, i did the research on dopamine etc. I don’t know how to move on from here. Kinda not living for this life right now. Not vibing. Sorry if this seems rambling and making a joke out of it. That’s always how i’ve coped. Much love.",1.4543798939126056,3.9418823052959513,2.75488423002442,90.76376862844154,84.20249221183799,5.464039740675254,21.759787825208388,6.885778809224403,0.6597785804496081,1264,42,253,16,37,407,178,321,0.165,0.6609999999999999,0.174,0.6295,1,0,5,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,1,3,15,22,3,5,10,1,25,10,2,6,1,57,59,25,0,2,11,0,4,0,0,1,3,1,0,2,16,14,3,1,21,3,2,6,10,12,0,1,23,6,42,10,32,35,6,32,0,0,1,2,11,17,1,5,8,165,58,5,0.0,0.0,0.09796002910195276,0.0,0.2412834451629869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352729568073436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08936279238805445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381621223458198,0.06119298330163544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833782802209774,0.11641324418004408,0.10271760523777006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10372321586318684,0.11195438178959928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030280978372564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08538633999881201,0.0,0.11006556641751712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09629721021387,0.11410076156713575,0.16839420144756714,0.16057206043214753,0.0,0.1105839837075434,0.0,0.0,0.10686033537609176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27584133317871856,0.0,0.11323720730437255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709039893446438,0.0,0.0,0.08864066288657624,0.08883643231793935,0.0842970415740846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18120045106363408,0.09498550198162707,0.13401382369033646,0.0,0.10084893810445697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10669200670434974,0.07379358367598904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10870578522572263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10487962064480526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09613985406478613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245273903961553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.257233523147821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3411455545657669,0.0857271474367312,0.0,0.07982916236132408,0.2010032293617049,0.10159368273816656,0.0,0.09138556752010724,0.10472211166809184,0.0,0.10304244487815804,0.0,0.0,0.10045621480186813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11237135475074553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08392528386958656,0.0,0.10494285861611684,0.11491534152399087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547606369027156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06432183374178857,0.09862649412423356,0.07969345982100645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11153000527240092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484812433300808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676632279955934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,toofooly24,2020/01/16,"can't get over my gambling grew up around it, family betting on sports games, parents buying us scratch tickets, betting on any and everything with friends, and now online sports betting. just about 4 weeks ago I found an online gambling site that I thought was cool and figured i could make some money and if not it's only 100 bucks. I ended up turning that 100 to just over 1000. I got lucky. I told my dad about it who doesn't approve of my gambling now and he really wanted me to take it out and be done. But it was easy money to me. I started playing blackjack online because i love the game and how convenient it was to just have it right there on my phone. I lost all the money and threw another 100, and built it up to just over 2500 this time by playing blackjack, slots and sports. I was on cloud nine for all of one day until I last almost 1500 in one night. the next day I tried making it back and lost the other 1000. I took a couple days off and figured screw it. I'm only down 200 and it was almost too easy to win so kept adding and adding and adding. I'm now down $2,600 and about 1,800 coming from just the past couple days. I'm not broke, but when I go to pay my card off I'll only have a couple hundred to my name. I feel sick, I've been here before but it was smaller amounts because I was making significantly less with my job. I feel embarrassed, I can't tell my family or girlfriend because the whole time I was doing it I was acting like I had my shit together when I really never did. I'm not looking for pitty or shit like that I just need some solid advice to help me break this shitty addiction I have",3.15275147928994,4.26028306804734,4.205876923076925,88.98912307692308,73.3491124260355,6.709775147928994,23.875029585798806,6.918507183188421,0.7171712189349111,1279,35,273,11,25,416,173,338,0.087,0.821,0.092,-0.6766,2,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,1,0,0,4,21,16,3,1,9,1,22,6,2,4,3,62,50,27,0,4,15,2,3,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,20,21,0,1,6,10,12,6,7,7,0,3,22,5,37,9,38,26,7,48,0,3,1,2,15,19,3,11,24,178,57,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11698786116745333,0.0,0.10486578458261346,0.09512719172518412,0.0,0.21491850003051807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07297705088191077,0.11252785601671013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09553201674370476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251767334129409,0.0,0.1962524541528493,0.0,0.09131612341681283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244131993697476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568132175707809,0.3562219719022271,0.0,0.2768340430416789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10981925629458922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09504815736014248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09644670653936048,0.0,0.20233176368927253,0.0,0.10852214396908226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11766402160133432,0.08291036083315337,0.0,0.05606702124855662,0.0,0.06098889466863935,0.0,0.08582863379628249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07193016518451102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10649236864366897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874750543214146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485618532874877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09011654819524996,0.0,0.23429133709093303,0.0,0.09685487697054056,0.0,0.2148983459426538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07957180868602322,0.08276700342812883,0.0,0.11412942331590732,0.10070671363428033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454371903283018,0.2448508980993969,0.0,0.0,0.11915925383489287,0.0,0.1024431465691611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13749591179787668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09164538244007027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22031210767599835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07595724638245868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08068660778746876,0.0,0.093796974454714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519515487971539,0.12515105714362346,0.0,0.0,0.1025429163735913,0.1192295590410931,0.07285901289320024,0.11672657756900852,0.0,0.0,0.12908526509015464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06329644831271049,0.0,0.08608064188033825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198120038532995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,anonclean,2020/01/16,Hour 1 Hope I’m ready. In the middle of a bout with severe depression coke then crack took hold. Just hoping I can post again tomorrow with a full day clean,0.02124999999999844,2.360606125000004,1.2872500000000002,97.23275,97.125,5.0600000000000005,12.65,6.742157984588678,-0.5439825000000003,124,2,27,2,5,39,29,32,0.165,0.55,0.285,0.5574,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,5,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,4,4,1,10,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,2,5,13,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20922266861202135,0.0,0.2794206105254489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6444402318905454,0.31948622375426394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3107026136881305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36649981773656704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3604401575171356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,KneeCole420,2020/01/16,"Something I read a while ago and it touched me because my little brother is a recovering addict. Thought I’d share it. 💙 I love an ADDICT

I wish it wasn't me who was writing this.  I really wish it wasn't.  I wish I wasn't handpicked because I have one of the ""best handles"" on this subject.  I wish I wasn't ""qualified"" to speak on the heroin epidemic that is a growing problem nationwide.  I wish I wasn't a member of a community no one really wants to be a part of.  No one ever says to themselves while reading stuff like mine, ""I wish I could relate to this.""

But I am.  I am the non-addict who knows all too well what it's like to have an addict in the family.

I know what it's like to worry yourself sick.  To cry yourself to sleep.  To stare at baby pictures & reminisce.  To check on them while they sleep to make sure they are still breathing.

I know to watch out for pinhole pupils and subtle changes in behavior.  To listen to them talk and make excuses and pile on lie after lie.  I know what it's like to pretend to believe them because you are just too mentally exhausted for an argument when you know they are lying straight to your face.

I know what it's like to be confused all the damn time; to see their potential, to know what they are throwing away.

I know what it's like to want their recovery more than they do.  To be the one doing research on rehabs and other outlets for recovery.

I know what it's like to miss someone who is still standing right in front of you.

I know what it's like to wonder if each unexpected phone call is ""the"" phone call.  I know what it's like to be hurt so bad and be made so sick that part of you wishes you would just get ""the"" phone call if nothing is going to change.  You want that finality.  You need the cycle to end.  I know what it's like to hate yourself for even allowing yourself to find relief in that horrible thought.

I know what it's like to get the worst news of your life, and still walk into the grocery store and run your errands and smile at the cashier.

I know what it's like to become a part-time detective.  To snoop through drawers and texts.  You know you are going to find something, and you look until you do just so you feel less crazy.  So you can say to yourself, ""I am not paranoid.  This is happening again.""

I know what it's like to have your mind clouded; to turn into a functioning zombie.  I know what it's like to be physically present at board meetings and dinner dates, but mentally gone.

I know what it's like to stop caring about your own personal and professional life.  My relationship took a backseat, Christ not even the backseat - I kicked him out of the car.  I would show up to work not showered and with huge bags under my eyes.  I would cry at my desk.

Everything the outside world expected of me seemed frivolous if I couldn't keep one of my most important people in my life out of harm's way.

I know what it's like to be really pissed off.  Like, REALLY pissed the hell off.  Between the sadness there is a lot of anger.  I know what it's like to feel guilty for being so mad, even knowing all you know about addiction.  You are allowed to be angry.  This is not the life you signed up for.

I know what it's like to scour a bookshelf and not find what you are looking for because this illness is still so hard to talk about, let alone right write about.

I know what it's like to hear someone argue that addiction is not an illness, that it is a choice.  I know all too well that feeling of heat rising in your face as they go on and on about something they know nothing about.

I know what it's like to stop becoming angry with these people.  They do not understand.  They are lucky to not understand.  I know what it is like to catch yourself wishing that you didn't understand either.

I know the difference between enabling and empowering.  I know there is a fine line between the two and the difference can mean life or death.  I know what it's like to the feel the weight of each day on your shoulders trying to balance the two.

I have been through enough to know that things don't just change for the worse overnight; they can change in a millisecond.  In a blink of an eye.  As quick as it takes two people to make a $10 exchange.

I know what it's like to feel stigmatized.  To be the ""sister of a drug addict,"" a ""friend of a drug addict,"" ""the daughter of a drug addict.""  I know what it feels like to be handled with kid-gloves because no one outside of your toxic bubble knows what to say to help.

I don't know what the future holds for anyone who loves an addict today.  One thing I know for sure is I am not alone.

(Author Unknown)",3.508249721293197,4.683149085470088,4.2739390561129715,88.5816889632107,72.56837606837607,7.391898922333707,26.172054998141952,7.793537801064563,1.2891086213303602,3608,118,770,46,69,1156,331,936,0.131,0.737,0.133,-0.9473,3,2,6,0,0,0,106.0,0,26,15,3,34,55,8,1,54,0,64,37,10,6,7,147,152,38,1,22,20,3,9,25,1,3,23,6,1,1,80,28,2,4,54,4,3,13,21,17,2,10,13,22,102,38,136,122,17,76,2,3,7,2,75,37,4,10,49,530,182,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3358591728493142,0.0,0.0,0.027309961571625817,0.0,0.0,0.06381682837738556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03338110101890412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02154208673914574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028945690207007668,0.0,0.025723890880103347,0.09390317118325854,0.06805134780109727,0.0,0.03471073769436722,0.03233172088335785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437706372287487,0.0,0.03141141702453599,0.0,0.13036563846242016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024598157079543288,0.0,0.06768359234420275,0.01986899576260834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643768513294965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10718457123444412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027287271682089703,0.031833515443652524,0.0,0.061046361513496926,0.02786813901142985,0.0,0.0,0.027688779638414256,0.0,0.0290436025223818,0.0,0.09346651134288,0.022009667220402682,0.0,0.033749311131698566,0.08447549611298663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02380264493441995,0.0,0.032192439784349075,0.0,0.05252770546958722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027243939797540983,0.0,0.02759845069405036,0.030417110340205368,0.0,0.0,0.034723526922165265,0.0,0.020650352558548538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032981239339645516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02738409579649374,0.0,0.0,0.6264691522850898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03150387687383372,0.10880511277226912,0.376288096487201,0.030878307015834487,0.0,0.0,0.0517429227867828,0.0,0.0,0.02619236669114777,0.05561192168337165,0.029151838564700574,0.06169493141829072,0.0,0.0,0.0335595930186714,0.0,0.0,0.06209563724955446,0.0,0.031107899532633907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022844183644966626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05912335776954414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14613691442179622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10008812195030302,0.0,0.06407640414636243,0.026900877784666547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029479665690263286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06163386671729475,0.0,0.07894710228182965,0.0,0.0,0.033076902432275734,0.0,0.052620745493796965,0.0,0.07350069659144608,0.0,0.0,0.024550462301267343,0.028046988813145563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06166169142931721,0.0,0.05220804702112798,0.07115388738344329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09841513861809148,0.051514731739504716,0.0,0.0,0.03526847165963075,0.0,0.0,0.05807347446725297,0.0,0.023164230101383784,0.04952556509671118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0409357245870386,0.0,0.0,0.048917167923454415,0.017964740150821938,0.0,0.029202946762427694,0.0,0.034229483879025364,0.02091701443272094,0.03351090566203565,0.09028656522074703,0.09621850523763152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054515124635479535,0.024454429573974968,0.0,0.03751657018394962,0.055401255742066786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834269206533242,0.0,0.03341060827999216,0.02242902490032686,0.03128762483962345,0.03139659149318355,0.06565662821486558,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,l31zon2,2020/01/16,"I'm addicted to Blocked Drain Im writting this while im high
I just smoked with my roommate and I just become a blocked drain addict... Yea you heard me : It's a video that youtube recommend, about 2 guys trying to deblocked drain...Just that. The title is Blocked Drain XXX and that XXX is the number of times they have deblocked a drain ...They are at 410th while im writing this. 
This weed makes me lose 2 hours of my sleeping time with that addiction. I've watched 15 blocked drain videos non stop...
I don't know why i'm writing this on reddit. I dont know if it's because this weed is so good or because drain addict is that addicted...",1.757846153846156,3.9457387846153855,2.28846153846154,96.46653846153843,80.38461538461539,5.230769230769232,24.615384615384606,6.297961479604792,0.5210769230769232,502,19,110,4,13,154,73,130,0.092,0.845,0.063,-0.3734,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,2,1,4,2,0,0,5,1,8,6,1,1,0,18,14,7,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,12,4,0,5,2,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,2,11,1,9,13,0,9,0,1,1,0,7,3,0,2,6,54,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7329665615557953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16394462933369616,0.1485127292604468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15759908968744624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127879515294335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331474983916213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14207606584689536,0.0,0.0,0.13242691440889967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4357554849347663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14780356401316025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15043872822826626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976048177862055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13456818095285014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124238336926848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568223217592335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09129702795786372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12133922283275887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Apart-Newspaper,2020/01/17,"Addicted but I don’t know to what Hi there, I have a problem

I’m addicted but I don’t know to what, I have the feeling that I always need something but I don’t know how to fill that need. The things that help are smoking a cigarette, eating junk food, having a beer, all the bad stuff.

I tried drinking water whenever I felt the need for something, getting up and talking to my roommates, going for a run but nothing is working, I do ‘t know how to fill the gap of what I need. 

I do tell myself no a lot of times, so a lot of times I’m just stuck with the feeling of needing something instead of acting on it but that feeling honestly sucks... Has anyone experienced something like this and how do you deal with this?",1.7308163265306111,3.7407932040816365,3.355340136054424,89.70811224489798,79.54421768707482,5.83265306122449,26.14625850340137,6.868970318607317,1.1193074829931977,559,23,116,6,14,185,78,147,0.094,0.795,0.111,0.1154,0,0,7,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,1,7,5,1,0,12,0,12,7,0,3,1,30,31,11,0,6,6,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,12,4,5,0,8,2,0,5,4,3,0,0,2,5,14,2,16,29,3,9,0,0,0,0,6,2,1,2,3,84,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2967799504219414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113262044534786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09517768087425764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365381203212968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403328759175202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13334495467763524,0.0,0.13928388180332615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20647781008274751,0.0,0.13069573893807604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16459582732662087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07111664244649764,0.0,0.07735965490530478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912378029834441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2992301197676997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06650094542449311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314472825644612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5046531580532924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306100041779746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13024765183258874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4191647149971997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15582387078793508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094074238714855,0.11897414462750495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904315208243416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587443524639431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092415973838879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09909636889563199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,TheHopefulMerchant,2020/01/17,"My family and I need help. My name is Edward and I am an opiate addict. I have been an addict since I was 17. There have been many times when I was able to stop for months but I always came back to it, this time it has been around 4 months of using and I am finally seeking professional help. It hasn't been easy asking for help or even knowing how to look for help, I recently had my appendix removed and I asked the nurses how to get help. They gave me a number and I called. I am to be admitted into my local rehab facility next Thursday. I contacted my health care provider, they will be covering the majority of the expenses, including laundry, food, etc. The time I miss from work and the fraction of the treatment add up a sizeable amount. An amount that will make it hard for my fiancee to pay for our house, daycare, and food for our children. If you have any advice or be willing to donate to my family, please do so. I have a GoFundMe, or if you have advice please leave a comment and share if you think there are people that could help. I don't honestly expect random people or just give me money, I'm an addict and honestly couldn't be trusted with it, my fiancee will be handling the monetary aspect of the fundraiser but I would really like some advice, and even some people just to talk to about the struggles that all addicts face. I will be very active on this post and all subsequent posts until I am admitted. I'm sorry about the length and the ranting nature of this post. I have never been to rehab and I am not very good at asking for help. Thank you for reading and I would really love to hear some feedback and advice from all of you.",4.64813512771217,5.396795830815716,5.571382861851141,81.91612949739084,69.54380664652568,8.43510024718484,27.130046690469648,8.575989854853784,1.8480924471299087,1304,40,256,20,22,429,162,331,0.081,0.7559999999999999,0.162,0.9861,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,2,5,2,1,14,11,0,1,19,0,40,12,2,4,4,56,62,29,0,9,12,0,1,1,2,7,7,1,0,1,11,20,2,1,4,1,4,2,5,2,0,0,10,3,40,9,37,37,10,25,0,1,1,1,34,6,0,11,15,191,51,5,0.08544488243878381,0.0,0.0,0.3725901359864583,0.0,0.33398300086909044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109698703588753,0.0,0.0,0.0581054500882404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07606406073756841,0.23963829260694844,0.0,0.0,0.0657018403975925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724877828056515,0.0977261827335606,0.08711675224923897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06822078591400611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952936302538744,0.11287107800187607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16109966152697522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09360069219882958,0.0,0.0,0.20664058201788588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04464142446679562,0.08196651705733109,0.0,0.07166711348466259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07654183157984862,0.0,0.0,0.09082391444959223,0.0963025924534118,0.0,0.4009033251852669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09859192228484223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04695827281163297,0.0,0.0,0.09047379323559827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04174405357186839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07175218140503878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07711734239194094,0.0,0.057035122518274,0.08662769968832681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13640257994181715,0.0,0.0,0.06335629766018405,0.06590036084670622,0.0,0.09087160182470334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17771016890707195,0.0,0.0,0.1875856446023065,0.0,0.0,0.2454977346879233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854680050374534,0.0,0.10947635926308676,0.0,0.0843665132608751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706808897164139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564855041465928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07143574768739258,0.0,0.08932554319796981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06867735990967253,0.0,0.07866616786763303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05474963055363519,0.0,0.0,0.1494707942387928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379694438409291,0.0,0.14100195304798396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06220489205907295,0.0,0.0,0.1213951859021411,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,balloonprosti,2020/01/17,"Advice on ritalin addiction Hello I been abusing medikinet and ritalin for a time now like crushing and snorting, I don't know how to fix it, my life goes down hill big time, I can't function without it and it doesn't fucntions as it should as before. I had to drop university because I can't focus as I could and have massive anxiety due to things I don't even know. Im trying one last try to fix my education. But this thing... I can't stop myself, it destroyed my brain's reseptors, I cant enjoy anything, everything feels like weight on my shoulders, I can't bring my self to focus on things, I can't even focus on videogames. I don't have any friends left, and I can't bring myself to be able to tell my family or a therapist about this, With my add brain, without methamp. my brain goes total silence even worse, please I seek help, should I tell the psychotherapist to change over concerta as Ive heard they arent crushable? Is there a way to fix my dopamine receptors? Please help me I know I should seek professional",5.790837398373983,5.785886258536589,6.211036585365854,80.9598069105691,66.90243902439025,9.760162601626016,32.693089430894304,9.516144504307137,2.773869918699187,813,32,166,15,12,263,111,205,0.11,0.8029999999999999,0.087,-0.6433,1,0,2,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,0,7,5,1,0,4,0,23,9,4,1,1,22,30,12,0,4,4,0,2,2,1,3,4,1,0,1,10,7,1,1,4,0,0,2,14,1,0,1,3,4,31,4,24,22,1,18,0,0,0,0,9,8,0,1,8,106,41,1,0.12718388227985558,0.15069210323929305,0.0,0.13864920473115344,0.0,0.12428261779293726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648940127146107,0.0,0.09729532182649528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466149834723946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753011415968385,0.0,0.1082241162845987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4259378245787383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13454368347111625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154598095377383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25201126423824943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430467252906325,0.0,0.11989764513779247,0.0,0.06430799232877597,0.09086019091327012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982619519561555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17049735074201894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13738041772601914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20969080666541595,0.10367183906472473,0.0,0.0,0.13818566023208026,0.0,0.08983373732851367,0.1242712411517963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618309017757472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27921942028047525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13268052699194566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10633142050322332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223286379382486,0.0,0.0,0.14767029002378265,0.2534859600946291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14832388908614372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17269901499745438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10095264583131816,0.0,0.154875705079488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24520144790071535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12961124166621624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,iamacat-meow,2020/01/17,"Join us, fellow troubled souls..,, New kick group I just started today for those of us struggling with any sort of addiction to stimulants. I’ve been especially shitty with my usage this week and am drowning in self loathing and would love some dope ass people to join. And don’t worry it’s not gonna be like AA we just shoot the shit and keep each other entertained during middle of the night binges and shit. My sister did this exact same thing last year and it was the best group ever...hoping to replicate that one and make it even better. 

Sosooooo all that being said if you don’t suck and you JUST WANNA GO FAST, check us out...

Kik group: NEED 4 SPEED☠️",3.852137404580152,5.32537593129771,4.021290076335877,89.5644541984733,72.12977099236642,6.461374045801527,21.496946564885498,6.742157984588678,0.3492894656488543,521,11,106,4,10,161,100,131,0.17300000000000001,0.66,0.168,0.0508,0,0,0,1,0,0,17.0,4,2,0,2,4,10,3,1,3,0,9,5,3,2,2,29,18,9,1,4,5,1,0,1,1,2,1,1,0,1,10,13,0,1,0,1,1,1,3,5,1,1,4,1,9,5,12,10,5,12,1,0,0,2,14,3,4,3,9,63,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813739433048517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314110162476695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17460090968179165,0.14714568269491807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988950337114567,0.15049623990286454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945550778813009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14788226256593145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13561830590586949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08128270584311903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15016045929165545,0.0,0.11105699350441928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12336538657310216,0.0,0.16068657470381414,0.0,0.15613221394805255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11274040079792907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11534388053407245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15826127895033232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17356601811714412,0.0,0.3415642899035724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776149389760325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17393188324505182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11053254445016604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15770459879026585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6003880227823245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13345645697122355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16896248048438325,0.0,0.11818844053400873,0.0,0.0,0.107140420541254
addiction,CallMeMarcus,2020/01/17,"Plans on dosing tonight. Does anyone else feel like a relapse isn't just an small moment thing? What I mean is I'm having cravings and I'm seriously thinking about relapsing. It feels like I'm thinking this way on purpose, cuz I'm addicted. I just always thought relapsing was like this thing where you just had a small moment where you couldn't handle urges. Like for the last week I've been planning on dosing again, I know it's wrong but I'm making it seem like it's fine. I don't meet with my counselor till Monday. Idk what to do because I'm planning on getting my stuff tonight, not even myself is holding me back. Anyways anyone else get in this mindset where you tell yourself it's not wrong for days and days?",2.9484615384615367,5.0475261111111145,3.3980555555555583,90.42942307692309,76.08333333333333,5.541880341880343,25.66025641025641,6.297961479604792,0.8172698717948714,576,21,114,4,13,179,85,144,0.081,0.841,0.078,-0.0938,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,3,0,3,11,9,0,0,4,0,10,3,0,2,0,21,27,5,0,1,6,0,2,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,13,3,0,1,8,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,4,2,11,6,11,22,0,23,0,0,0,0,5,10,0,1,17,65,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17156800044527054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13095320273184985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22008824209854302,0.3225098886251393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101590776411683,0.0,0.09593770614453244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20299483530114504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13772475635637355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629424648886051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10394835123379577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15915264249646024,0.2248653543349554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16444965538379294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649221965391156,0.12828613164646704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3844408700109019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050527212665334,0.0,0.0,0.17143352736576212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14327331745502694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801630460192416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13755751403965702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20911325287302934,0.20168616894454505,0.0,0.12494255578718427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12492133379721515,0.12624116260502913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3441417920601704,0.0,0.0
addiction,girl_who_loves_girls,2020/01/17,"One year A year ago I came to the realization that I was going to die a slow painful death if I didnt get off drugs. I decided on my birthday as I was coming off of a bender that I can't live that way anymore. I've had bumps in the road, I relapsed twice early last year and yeah this hasn't technically been a year drug free but I've quit now. It was january 12 last year that I chose this for myself and I'm so glad I did. My life still isn't going well. Its not pretty. I still am an alcoholic and I still have so many problems but I'm so fucking thankful that im not on drugs that always just compounded my issues and left me feeling on the edge of death constantly. It really is worth it and I hope one day that I can be fully recovered from this. There will always be the temptations but its gotten easier and easier to cope with. It really is worth it and i remind myself every day. I hope you all can too.",0.6518877551020452,2.62954225,3.0422040816326543,90.7063673469388,83.13265306122447,6.5730612244897975,18.473469387755106,7.734863291789972,0.4858559183673474,715,17,161,13,20,246,110,196,0.10400000000000001,0.7170000000000001,0.179,0.9478,0,0,4,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,1,11,9,1,0,9,1,19,7,0,0,1,23,32,15,3,4,7,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,17,10,1,0,2,0,3,4,6,3,1,3,9,1,22,7,15,20,1,30,0,0,0,1,1,8,1,3,17,110,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947773541969898,0.13198687929034505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20552836183551515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12248154100912585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14125424355555594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10638668273888098,0.0,0.1334625967094735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15929811218877238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12817635508068487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4296719385672788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405639281509677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0624467008284464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417630152127735,0.06452508905921077,0.0,0.14037891696335086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24533219330316905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13340416229391253,0.12890478312363796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013424485501406,0.0,0.0,0.1341860983495938,0.0,0.0872336441569285,0.0,0.0,0.10905519020229812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252124031468004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16737731824297067,0.0,0.1314156327201051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12564669595712655,0.0,0.1181754515558511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13136037600814415,0.0,0.0,0.15823804718827966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2958883650934501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370473832844065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098030733720286,0.0,0.0,0.11104380359785312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3976586063801849
addiction,ashapeless,2020/01/17,"drugs and relationships hello, I would like to talk with somebody who had troubles with relationships when he/she was taking drugs/was recovering

for example break ups, getting back together later, arguments, some issues and so on",8.329385964912278,11.10788018421053,7.981578947368423,60.39938596491231,62.94736842105264,11.382456140350875,36.35087719298246,11.20814326018867,5.218656140350878,189,9,25,6,3,60,33,38,0.142,0.7959999999999999,0.062,-0.4939,0,0,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,6,5,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,6,2,1,6,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,4,17,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24483223952467376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3692463731799546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16635241663911793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3323299898010377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15555561398266396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6836912879427657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23939941692913894,0.25592025626032994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22618434317879765,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,lexxpowder,2020/01/17,"Get rid of Meth and some other chemicals? Hello, I'm 26 yo. I'm taken meth for 5-7 years. I'm not using every month or every week. For example, Im taken today. Next, few months later. Anyway. The reason i want to get rid of meth, im gettin bad trips. Its effective me so badly. Like watching porn 15-20 hours and jerkin off with nonstop. And i just couldnt myself stop. Im scared a lot about gettin some kind of injures on my penis. I know its sucks, seems like im makin bullshit but its not. Its real. So if i cant get rid of meth, its would be solution. Its looks ez actually, i dont even think first 2-3 months but then... But how can i? Any suggestions?",-1.3707294832826733,0.6431152907801447,1.6739614994934158,95.02000000000002,98.21985815602837,4.387841945288755,13.806484295845998,6.1826913282559595,-0.6529388044579534,500,10,114,6,21,175,94,141,0.078,0.8109999999999999,0.111,0.5387,0,0,4,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,2,7,7,1,1,2,0,6,2,0,4,0,27,21,12,0,4,8,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,7,4,0,1,5,0,0,1,5,4,0,1,2,2,9,3,11,16,4,15,0,0,2,1,2,2,1,6,14,57,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.13644186720573032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09508080334186424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334838118003412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16386525619518208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234824576853727,0.0,0.2356048176476948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11892883015761585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21914686974365807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13769223096267888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6041082624601745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145598577153495,0.07684012938022305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13661569241203889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11741162041016485,0.0,0.0,0.11886797459266985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33480336678595674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14869766759114109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15914310704457146,0.0,0.14375584106328068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13998186903328508,0.0,0.0,0.12728474646655874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11689382436809714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958951092891451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13253079321619832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075756655457855,0.0,0.0,0.08246807840999072,0.0,0.11215329316897142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932245408891956,0.0,0.0,0.09003798892848712
addiction,hwschmidt3,2020/01/17,"Stop the fent...start the subs So ive been using dope (fent, heroin, etc.) heavily for months... Im up to about a gram a day and even that isnt even really getting the job done anymore.  I have a sub prescription, but havent touched them in awhile. Im honestly terrified of taking them cuz if I take em too early, ill go into precipitated withdrawal. Either way, I know ill feel like absolute shit. But, somethings gotta change. I have my job, I have my own place, Im BARELY able to maintain my bills and general responsibilities, and I dont want to lose everything, AGAIN, as I have so many times before. 

So I was hoping for some support/encouragement in this endeavor. Im at work now (3rd shift) and have taken my last shot (except maybe one meager wash left at home). Ive told myself i need to take this weekend to clean up and make the transition to subs, and so I will be taking them sometime later today. 

Ive done this shit so many times before that i do t k ow why im so scared, but I am. Anyway, I wanted to get that out there. Anyone else going through anything similar right now? Got any extra advice? I dont have any access to benzos or anything to help, but i got ibuprofen PMs, Benadryl, and subs. 

Wish me luck reddit... Addiction sucks! I want to be free! I have alot to be grateful for and want to keep it.

Thanks for reading radiators!",1.9089554357082008,3.9903964169741712,3.7583948339483406,86.68140718137953,79.29520295202951,6.678455861481693,21.862191314220837,7.748469712250963,0.9709487936417824,1043,31,215,17,26,351,161,271,0.133,0.718,0.149,0.7801,2,0,1,0,0,0,52.0,0,0,3,2,15,11,3,1,8,0,24,8,2,3,0,36,51,22,0,8,8,0,2,1,0,2,6,0,2,0,7,10,0,2,2,2,2,2,4,5,0,1,8,2,29,7,29,38,6,27,0,1,0,0,5,11,3,6,14,129,36,4,0.092484766912563,0.0,0.0,0.10082204719901017,0.0,0.09037504384848856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257856258766705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09172003737905776,0.06466749940320284,0.09476157304602907,0.15221416591239206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15739544963528046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978366203510262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059645023584733135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18928805315356284,0.21678291606184272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725915536935958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10314496235155657,0.12217063260227487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08311934504881556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04676307700731157,0.06607113596166521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09663894708765768,0.0,0.10512244869739884,0.0,0.14793703348844162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061990589766273585,0.0,0.09276976196027203,0.0918582414732042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4994970936562546,0.0,0.1835537210541535,0.08220471025023979,0.0,0.0,0.050827209209537705,0.07538742881114617,0.0,0.0,0.10048496985727552,0.0,0.0,0.04518338552745678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346679748796923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06173430007012042,0.18753007518235745,0.0929133791612348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07382045859346352,0.0,0.0,0.06857628279543904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06267007158453322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966268970444082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250979460395108,0.0,0.059248109891990725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898148561514763,0.0,0.0,0.0925933857775115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18986856838786711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07119929196619154,0.0914697993058914,0.0,0.065461194037195,0.0,0.0,0.07732140633263186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10495061749830363,0.0,0.0,0.2781481393879657,0.0,0.0,0.08514754765278072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10785722265901902,0.0,0.08766474507315747,0.08837315813256894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07987714425275244,0.0,0.0,0.21819964689085955,0.0734101031636364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08345311705331028,0.0,0.10635291768702214,0.0,0.0,0.0673300118006036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,splattycatty,2020/01/17,"So tired of my nephews bullshit. I myself am an alcoholic in recovery, 41 Y/O working full time while living with, and caring for, my elderly parents aged 81&73. The duty has fallen on me due to my siblings all having their own families while I am childless by choice. I don't mind, I have my own life outside of working and caregiving. My folks are still pretty independent but sorely need the financial and household help I bring to the table by living with them.

The problem is my nephew (23Y/O) He is an addict who has been in and out of rehabs and mental hospitals more times than I can count. He never makes it more than 8 hours after a discharge before getting high. Torching every bridge he crosses my parents are the only stable thing he has. He lives here and does nothing but cause trouble for us. His DOC is meth, without meth he will do anything he can to get fucked up, herion, pills, booze... He has drank rubbing alcohol, flavor extracts, mouthwash, in a real pinch with no fix he will go outside and huff gasoline in the garage. 

He smokes in the house with no regard for my mothers emphysema, he has stolen 1000s of dollars of money/valuables from all of us, guns, electronics, cash, anything of value ... He brings lowlife bums into the house without asking. I am fucking sick of his addictions ruining what should be my parents golden years.

I want to leave this place for my own sanity and sobriety, but without my contribution my parents will lose the house they love so much. I want to force an ultimatum of 'him or me' on them, but I refuse to further break their already torn hearts. I want my nephew to WANT to get the help he so desperately needs before it's to late, but I don't think that will happen so I want him to end up in prison rather than end up dead in a ditch because those are the only options he is giving himself.

I needed to get that off my chest for my own sake. He was discharged 2 weeks into a 90 day recommendation yesterday... My spare PC Monitor is now missing along with him while I was at work today. I was feeling a strong urge to drink because I was very angry but that feeling has subsided. Now I just feel pity for him.

Drugs fucking suck. Thanks for the outlet",5.703472981177902,6.329696545667449,6.0531876138433525,79.83214329083184,67.14988290398125,8.386815855668315,31.50568132535345,8.285830014693849,2.3277382079972253,1743,67,323,22,27,560,237,427,0.157,0.74,0.10300000000000001,-0.9849,4,0,7,1,0,0,55.0,2,0,5,5,10,14,4,0,20,0,35,20,2,3,3,54,67,22,1,11,12,8,4,0,0,5,11,0,0,0,10,17,5,2,4,1,2,5,8,10,0,0,6,5,51,4,61,55,10,48,0,4,0,4,44,21,4,2,21,218,61,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799709541147766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17642951863442674,0.0,0.0,0.09108969377952042,0.0,0.0,0.08943672058748987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13585386049028295,0.0,0.07716778303631026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10063648504152352,0.0,0.14047824871217152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841594208078873,0.08479573968543698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05323424836610618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07223507805171532,0.0,0.0,0.08086199450335724,0.09572518836687544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14621950855628796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06954713754091045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07781542502679419,0.0,0.12521064320986022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289326411666855,0.1725039710578691,0.07918401941166328,0.046911831083951305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299365679985173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781539952380064,0.11065541611501313,0.08721259082087457,0.0,0.0,0.0812895136923354,0.2857351380165016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931135720484298,0.08740250113108433,0.0,0.0,0.058303484142077165,0.0,0.0,0.2186644022734854,0.0,0.0,0.09234596390586387,0.0,0.0,0.0744994585126534,0.0,0.0550989649282611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08318524537649975,0.0,0.08334621787904174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06067956225604226,0.18361666997267248,0.06366325714280767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920348741694247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255573279343157,0.0,0.0,0.3666227314571453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862412306502102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08397723396792063,0.0,0.0789837525688434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09395349097544176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06591998904695125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07599570638233777,0.0,0.0,0.05483876879711147,0.05289105800979855,0.0,0.0,0.0962644967513818,0.09487253648320673,0.0782423500184576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985812723525298,0.0,0.0,0.06810769682591622,0.2434338503421655,0.0,0.06621206292438328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387092948779511,0.0,0.18027971263659426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053155826459202575
addiction,PeacefulFreedom,2020/01/17,Internet addiction doesn't exist. Good luck.,5.215714285714288,6.824899857142861,6.003571428571429,58.2539285714286,121.85714285714286,12.82857142857143,32.07142857142857,8.841846274778883,7.075914285714287,37,2,4,2,2,12,7,7,0.55,0.45,0.0,-0.5975,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7925616295873786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6097918196448678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,desperatecokeaddict,2020/01/17,"I relapsed hard on coke after 24 days I basically spent all my paycheck on it in 6 days. It was not even fun, yet I still wanna do more. I started doing this shit in March and now I’m looking at 5300$ worth of credit card debt, nothing in the bank account. I was supposed to go to school this semester but couldn’t afford it because of coke. Will it ever end? I simply don’t know what to do anymore. But hey, at least I won’t be able to buy some for 2 weeks",0.2434000000000012,2.05514054,2.588000000000001,94.31900000000002,83.6,4.800000000000002,21.0,5.6839178017228535,-0.07069999999999954,354,11,82,2,10,121,73,100,0.08199999999999999,0.882,0.036000000000000004,-0.4898,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,1,0,1,0,10,3,1,0,2,10,16,3,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,1,2,0,1,0,7,1,4,1,0,0,3,2,8,2,16,9,4,19,0,0,1,0,1,7,1,1,11,55,15,2,0.27765775081223804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2753618799424601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16925758776907113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35813255844255765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24592235403298116,0.0,0.0,0.1833903257588686,0.25115733181589883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577992984119733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24872680718749896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15259343846890616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23316258079081656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664201003752926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2810044672618344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2850116911596691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965275851215026,0.0,0.22173783846379155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227202996442294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,dentedsushi,2020/01/17,"to anybody struggling/has struggled with drug use, please feel free to tell your story here. i'm working on a research paper for one of my college courses and was really interested on learning more about the causes of substance abuse.

one big discussion regarding substance abuse is related to a low socioeconomic status. i'd like to delve in deeper and understand, on a more meaningful level, the causes of said substance abuse. tell me about yourself and your story. i'm genuinely curious to hear what you all have to say and to gain a more insightful understanding.

much love to you all. <3",6.4745093457943925,8.473868355140187,6.719707943925233,70.70797313084113,66.38317757009347,9.835981308411217,34.87032710280374,10.125756701596842,4.027281308411215,482,23,75,12,8,155,72,107,0.135,0.679,0.18600000000000005,0.669,0,0,1,0,3,0,13.0,0,4,0,2,3,6,0,1,6,0,3,2,0,3,2,16,12,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,5,0,0,6,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,2,4,6,5,19,10,6,7,0,1,0,1,11,7,0,0,1,48,7,5,0.0,0.5918500684738145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3420967443249738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930950505985564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08419085195362612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18766528925129047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134682243238517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15027890732303625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12240167237093925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22565866304613055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18277448901862065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10666853354557593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15838611698708244,0.13241290760319405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740690824069478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2910686022666369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3466789468558772,0.0,0.14380843299106374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212189491862184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Lalunaxvii,2020/01/17,"My birthday I turn 24 today. My dad has damage to his body from alcohol, my family is falling apart. 
But like fuck I am going to let them change me. I have overcome coke addiction of 3 years
 I am stopping smoking and drink massively and after this weekend with friends, as of Monday, a friend and I have decided to quit smoking together.
I won't become my father. I can do this",2.5159428571428606,4.6435284800000005,4.479238095238099,82.03200000000002,77.53333333333333,7.485714285714287,28.04761904761905,8.418075326091056,2.314561904761905,296,13,55,6,7,101,57,75,0.129,0.7559999999999999,0.115,-0.0258,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,1,0,5,1,0,1,0,10,6,1,0,0,7,13,5,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,1,2,0,0,0,2,4,3,1,1,2,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,14,3,9,11,0,9,0,1,0,1,6,1,1,0,7,40,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26496354422596624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25974964012051466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684328397191411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2699769869539416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25711774759075423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380993173279064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291286492530349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3755641455477389,0.22469849571337366,0.0,0.0,0.13813256801657448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24853806440756504,0.0,0.11874337312207163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585166842164053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20320311316423406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303857360920327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643717680570443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15651810309244016
addiction,BananaGains,2020/01/18,"trying to quit my porn addiction, any advice is appreciated I'd like to get this all off my chest.

So I have been addicted to internet porn since I was 12 and I am in my 20s now. I go a week maybe without porn and go back, my recent relapse was 13 days, I have been actively trying to quit over the past 3/4 years but took it more seriously last and this year.

I want to quit porn because I believe that it can have physical harms, such as to my brain, as well as causing depression, and suicide feelings. I have poor mental health, and have had it for over the past several years.

Anyways, I try to quit porn but its difficult because I don't naturally socialize often, I have been single my entire life and don't see myself dating anyone any time soon, so I go back to porn because video games and music can only do so much.

I'm trying to quit to be a decent person and happier I guess.

I realize my singleness is my issue, not the porn, but I'm trying to make my life better, I dislike it currently.

sorry just wanted to say all that. hopefully I can get another streak going and be clean by the end of the year.",6.1006240822320095,5.196124903083703,7.382213656387666,75.8284159324523,66.48898678414096,10.738472834067547,31.69199706314244,10.125756701596842,2.94385785609398,871,29,176,18,12,300,124,227,0.125,0.7709999999999999,0.10400000000000001,-0.8458,1,1,0,0,0,1,24.0,0,0,0,6,12,8,0,0,7,0,23,14,2,2,2,26,39,18,1,3,6,0,1,1,0,0,5,1,1,1,9,9,0,0,2,2,1,5,4,4,1,0,7,3,26,4,23,30,6,27,0,1,1,7,4,4,0,3,19,119,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21539448314918788,0.0,0.09653784266503916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343631210930646,0.10359142882316674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907726532773698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15192902428210514,0.0,0.1806670175314432,0.0,0.0,0.1113041121071249,0.0,0.08737299221210255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11028390889646464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10148601263262493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06371229996002722,0.0,0.08508891446090874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08749988470840696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04995191568850843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10322889010049828,0.0,0.2245817867580013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882989870862976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050106710885496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981221815802822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311258678223473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052820149878115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13955861815980095,0.04826450286913336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594404708889412,0.0,0.09924927056170296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995585261057323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07262306861763795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751353347239507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18861519808330127,0.0,0.0862608666830633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5253842348850337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975446194828183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856291085293059,0.0,0.0,0.07872397966077911,0.0,0.0,0.11160619677511274,0.0,0.0817212923186192,0.0,0.0,0.10070542245248812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058891844245364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10806179063632763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057606077673391966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10976091446360478,0.3353644828677507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11653949079366993,0.0,0.0792445266625837,0.0,0.08882536053088792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09523141376904698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544737693449345
addiction,wonderlander39,2020/01/18,"help online in spanish hi so long story short, a friend who doesn't speak much english is struggling with drug addiction. they're very socially anxious too, so support groups aren't an option. i looked for online support groups in spanish or something of the sort, but tbh i can't even speak spanish so that was a lost cause.

so here i am. i figured someone here might know of some resources?",2.976700000000001,5.660195653333336,3.0129166666666656,90.15937500000004,79.13333333333333,4.816666666666666,28.04166666666667,5.985473137389443,1.1443666666666674,314,14,57,2,8,95,57,75,0.095,0.7959999999999999,0.109,0.015,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,8,5,0,1,4,0,7,2,0,1,0,10,12,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,3,4,3,6,9,2,4,0,1,1,0,9,3,0,5,1,35,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24213890170488897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25092752159179355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22817401149733155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25758369833241584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14670532696343014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716060411033569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488794736771739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12206898150390767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19656540752117285,0.18652124919353744,0.0,0.24246552794466905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23562966015726164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632805986152756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264189874490226,0.1881979143014933,0.1709955197083977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322035591939035,0.0,0.0,0.5041085349938944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18326871675703213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,sortadark,2020/01/18,Sorry not sorry.. Whenever people catch me when I’m high or drunk I pretend to be all remorseful and sorry like using was some kind of accident.. Its a lie.. I wanted to.. Sorry not sorry..,-0.4563320463320473,1.4853469189189212,3.0552123552123547,82.5727027027027,106.83783783783785,5.357528957528958,16.096525096525095,6.868970318607317,0.7703930501930505,144,4,25,3,7,52,29,37,0.252,0.682,0.066,-0.4767,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,1,8,5,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,3,3,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,17,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17772598831792452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17516767652473886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08218024476779996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11661752935554365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.941501916102746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452817930620779,0.0,0.0,0.09921622837913356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,amnotmouse,2020/01/18,"life is boring without stims ever since i started with stims everything in life compared to it is just so fucking boring. i tried quitting (told myself if i could prove to myself i could do without for the month i could continue using, just less after that) but i missed the excitement and the rush and i don’t care that it’s fake, i can’t find anything that lives up to it. it’s like a level-up in life. so now the way i’m dealing with this shitty perspective on life and drugs is just suppressing the side that secretly hates myself for now not being able to feel satisfaction with life without first ruining my nose bridge and my future. i have contemplated telling my therapist about my drug abuse, the problem is just how early i fell into this downward spiral of lines and pills, i’m literally still a child that lives with her dad and with already a lot CPS-like organizations involved there literally is no space for this to be added to the list. i’m not posting this wanting advice or any specific reaction, because deep down i know the exact steps i have to make to better myself, it’s that i’m still hoping everything just magically turns out fine.",8.327755681818182,7.184379933035713,8.20806818181818,72.48465909090913,62.16964285714286,11.181168831168833,35.54220779220779,10.230975488527342,3.4706928571428577,931,34,171,17,11,301,128,224,0.133,0.752,0.115,-0.6772,0,0,2,0,1,0,16.0,0,0,0,3,15,14,2,0,11,0,15,10,1,3,3,44,32,12,0,7,13,1,1,1,0,0,8,0,0,1,15,13,0,1,5,0,0,3,8,8,0,1,1,2,21,6,29,26,2,28,0,2,0,1,8,11,1,4,13,120,36,0,0.1204917291251937,0.14276299606000076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11774312318227165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13296561930630138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193850764258102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09915442650935567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07345063971092186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065651427547268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12284934819592362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886085236157037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12422168195400335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2794643043860052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10899166727541552,0.0,0.0,0.21658039357235911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060924238617075084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012725752870302,0.1024902032406614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11139266199838524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896063703139854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967547434022315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06621910319626115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4255343582244737,0.11773234515648615,0.0,0.2127928086567137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10243775927723073,0.0,0.0,0.08042916482467714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617534862957992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153977695116637,0.0,0.0,0.11529431200934735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12815778554474494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09967200345953277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528466604233842,0.0,0.19244970104978265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10531508214335952,0.0,0.0,0.13990018441356086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11513501073873568,0.0,0.08180597479118196,0.1310604012171902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10406616732565163,0.0,0.0,0.07106914367109411,0.09564072615123677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3484491813579176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Malpazz,2020/01/18,Genuine question - what do you do to help a friend with a severe cocaine habit who in recent months has progressed to Crack Situation made more tricky that we live in different cities and he won’t return messages or calls for weeks or months. From the snippets I hear from others it sounds like he is set on annihilation and we are all very worried.,15.12318181818182,8.336522833333332,12.65575757575758,63.10363636363637,55.51515151515152,15.01818181818182,48.15151515151516,10.125756701596842,4.910933333333333,281,10,52,3,2,86,56,66,0.098,0.784,0.11800000000000001,0.34299999999999997,1,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,2,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,1,1,10,8,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,5,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,4,2,9,6,2,9,0,0,0,0,12,3,0,3,6,33,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549751913250665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608870101030473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19292030415411224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28143399162505184,0.0,0.16737099206668132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12199251675415004,0.0,0.22049276467493045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23627548862946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3986219016850652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27972506656274426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465520811185053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28209387895015897,0.0,0.0,0.280677195396056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060315380004933,0.0,0.0,0.2002970852672437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25358602445022804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,justfkm,2020/01/18,"Feeling suicidal, used drugs and been sober for almost 3 months. As the title said, I have dabbled with drugs for almost a year on/off and been hospitalised twice, nobody knows and they think I'm a ""saint"" and that kills me even more. I grew up in a very conservative Christian church. I used to be happy by myself and be very social. Now I have social anxiety and I can't speak to anyone new and if I don't speak to a friend or family I start to get anxious, I feel like I don't deserve anyone because of my past drug addiction. I attempted suicide twice... Once to heroin, with no tolerance but woke up in sweat and worst pain in my life and once on 1 gram of MDMA but it didn't work and I hallucinated and heard people and animals for 1 week.

Even tough I've been sober, today I woke up from the worst sleep paralysis, saw craziest things and my hands raised and were stuck to the wall and I could not do anything but wait in fear. I still shake. I fear of going back to sleep.

I still feel suicidal, today almost tought I'm going crazy.

I need some advice, maybe someone got through this... Does it get better? This depression kills me. I'd rather die than feel like this for the rest of my life. 

It kills me inside, I regret the day I took my first drug. That's all I think about.

Please, don't judge me. I don't know what is happening in my mind.",1.6337198067632848,3.7163941594202967,2.9328985507246412,92.24205314009664,80.23188405797102,6.262801932367151,18.917874396135264,7.3871296695380915,0.28861207729468585,1052,24,230,15,27,340,152,276,0.267,0.677,0.055999999999999994,-0.9966,0,0,4,0,0,1,37.0,0,0,1,4,8,17,3,3,9,0,17,12,4,2,1,45,45,21,7,5,7,0,5,2,1,0,8,4,0,0,10,17,0,2,8,0,0,5,8,12,0,3,13,10,33,5,32,29,6,29,3,2,1,0,8,10,0,6,16,139,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963359443131989,0.0,0.0863537830600248,0.0,0.0,0.2654682688127001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06760252771436172,0.09983253238745468,0.0,0.12358020481539946,0.0,0.07272067875229668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06795079339456475,0.0,0.05386930833657385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07815575950840603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07055596161089159,0.0,0.0,0.05699110294077325,0.0,0.07611263580506014,0.0,0.09171372775993612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773328617484755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4099228772216474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167346189256568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330702572492116,0.1988808117136545,0.17872936753993734,0.12626256759395107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07516716507274128,0.0,0.0,0.06827415959658546,0.0,0.09233897231571156,0.0,0.10044499834237793,0.0,0.07067726859320445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07814497501860954,0.09407111803896198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2933037191007902,0.0,0.09713127896203654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12483617101889792,0.08634587836652474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877917449107031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08922813843827775,0.0,0.07053579832789318,0.0,0.0,0.06552496347894486,0.0,0.08534794265638726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882215511123879,0.0,0.0,0.09403152051799683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435881436476059,0.06126437706281832,0.0,0.0,0.09700332063015278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405975785766034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768669058938429,0.1801634253129968,0.07487530365569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06254848139509549,0.0,0.14114420685693013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2899861080819442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05870885780461795,0.11324738581645988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16752815944966035,0.0,0.09818191430843512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15264598040627889,0.0,0.14582840483331055,0.0,0.0,0.07088478958307297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06433414563212375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05690714663245049
addiction,gooeyduxk,2020/01/18,"Going to do a faceplant into powder! Snowboarding is better than drugs. It provides a level of self-care that is unexplainable and I love it.  

It's a time that literally I can loose myself in the moment.  It take me to a peak level of being ""present""  that everything feels like it's in slow motion.  Nothing can hurt me (except wrecking).  I can taste the cold air and feel the burn in my lungs as I inhale deep.  

As I carve my brain is silent and all I hear is the dead playing on my earbuds.  Freedom.",2.353255555555556,4.291364170000005,3.9653333333333336,86.42322222222224,77.3,6.044444444444442,23.11111111111111,6.937597516519254,0.7952777777777778,387,12,77,4,9,129,66,100,0.063,0.758,0.179,0.9015,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,8,0,9,5,2,0,1,8,15,5,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,8,4,1,0,2,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,6,12,4,13,14,1,15,0,1,0,1,2,9,0,0,5,54,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509468710741781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3167500753575432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3290508084993814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25500914603986113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869371101715801,0.20270544660298545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16125720105349162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3197980215649767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3037518369957655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13862208071754728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25608836581655176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722582427378534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29600494131796706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21333878249475013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16545232778455066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,googoo_sh,2020/01/18,"How do I be content? I don't know if the thought is naive but it's pretty string, a little bit of background, I am 29 and I was on a full blown addiction with weed for over 2 years and I kicked it and I am 1 year sober, however now i am addicted to alcohol, trying to quit that. I am an addict and I know for some reason that whatever psychedelic substance I touch i ll be hooked. I really hate myself because of this. I call my friends and they are tripping, they are in lsd, molly and I feel that I have become boring  like i have become a sober shit. Plus the constant advice that ""you should have taken it slowly man that's why you are missing out all this fun"" advice exacerbates my self hate. No one understands addiction unless they face it. It was never a choice. Am I missing out?",1.2676543660942627,3.4988528571428614,3.2749579831932785,88.45092436974791,82.54037267080746,6.272707343807088,21.271830471318964,7.510576382923642,0.8615258312020466,614,19,127,10,17,207,100,161,0.172,0.727,0.10099999999999999,-0.9027,1,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,3,1,2,9,3,0,7,0,19,7,2,2,2,24,29,11,0,2,3,0,2,1,1,1,5,0,0,2,12,10,1,0,6,0,0,1,3,6,0,1,4,2,25,3,14,22,4,13,0,2,0,0,9,7,1,2,6,93,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6087568695626987,0.0,0.2728392762706056,0.0,0.14919446583843102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510144303424735,0.3083638084488528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15241166231430225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14255152782997246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508625776481739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705880934799395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107857882030298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27566055014603164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15344566801907947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820357524492217,0.13992011411274533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767138873894176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09459943944047697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14202769084683187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484862831536327,0.0,0.0,0.0894340447039374,0.14353639980515925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456376587593177,0.0,0.14330173624128206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11083016491824163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09478210851467436,0.0,0.0,0.14533292715501284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12597110380119667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17980109442374395
addiction,lovbeav21,2020/01/18,What an anniversary.... My boyfriend (25M) decided to go do coke instead of celebrating our 1 year anniversary. I’m (26F) beyond hurt and conflicted. In this situation i don’t know what to do. 😔,2.289594594594593,4.83780491891892,4.9202027027027055,76.26246621621625,80.8918918918919,10.186486486486489,30.871621621621625,10.125756701596842,4.05078918918919,150,8,29,6,4,53,31,37,0.094,0.8029999999999999,0.102,0.0772,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,4,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,1,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,5,6,0,4,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,17,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3060102795165033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5764157131308024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959148819302434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.605233904423468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3467404477050152
addiction,Amaxophobe,2020/01/18,"Can you help identify what addiction we are dealing with? We were sure he (brother in law) started with cocaine. Signs included talking nonstop, boasting about himself, nosebleeds, chatterbox, sprouted with angry bursts and isolating people, high for days but mostly functioning. Lost 40 lbs quickly. Still drinking all day starting at 9 AM. Total asshole and not himself.

But the past couple of months, things have shifted drastically.

Where he was noticeably high but still functioning, now he babbles and is borderline incoherent — but he still goes like crazy (snow blowing in -40 for 4 hrs for example).

Where he was functioning, now he doesn’t work at all nor pay his bills.

Where he would go a couple days high and a couple days down, now he goes a full week high and this time going on two weeks down.

He has lost another 30 lbs and looks emaciated.

He has isolated everyone. Lies about literally everything. Doesn’t work, doesn’t pay bills, lies through his teeth. Where he used to also drink and chew tobacco, now he seems to only use whatever drug he’s on. We can’t get any useful information from him or his wife. He is being enabled left right and centre.

To the point that he has clients calling him with no answer, some he has made pick up keys to his shop, get their deliverables themselves, and drop the keys back off while he remains comatose on the couch.

He doesn’t pay any bills yet he bought himself a brand new truck, then decked it all out, then bought new dirt bikes for his kids, etc all while never working and saying he has no money. 

He routinely is permitted to drive his kids while fucked up and basically just perpetually continue this week up two weeks down pattern.

We have tried to tell his parents but they just fight us like we are delusional.

What are we dealing with? What is he on? What can we do?",5.318611300204221,7.183838407079652,5.193525073746315,81.05051906058544,69.0589970501475,8.637213523939186,30.44259133197185,9.162432508145574,2.661461447696846,1456,59,265,29,26,451,193,339,0.11800000000000001,0.833,0.049,-0.982,2,0,5,0,1,0,47.0,8,1,2,6,19,7,2,0,8,0,28,7,1,6,7,54,45,24,0,1,9,3,0,2,0,1,2,1,1,2,9,24,3,0,3,4,10,4,10,4,0,2,8,2,23,3,36,35,9,65,0,2,1,1,59,28,1,4,34,159,32,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039321092266426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07364545323542275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252506095690536,0.09656585453417683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07081259629785218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403560808151826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056921222730836,0.0,0.2375653182843995,0.18988436370235467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18042900999737116,0.1067967781089676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027062457929514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799727193391149,0.08276580540730555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513700833847543,0.09622790320023038,0.0,0.10467532110266976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06172691912654355,0.3891984489811936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10005756730496207,0.0,0.0,0.08998240522738678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733357581124084,0.0,0.2010572668582714,0.0,0.0,0.08713910217132899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07350647081538478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07102655907781218,0.177884881287123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10484666063193876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700396537218832,0.0,0.0,0.10225659298540797,0.0,0.08791165440983746,0.0638445761066825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705613239232518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07864554593595613,0.0,0.07323477151913736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08383654493566639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13036552307360985,0.0,0.22063291480434266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0867950474858497,0.0,0.0,0.07401957285604649,0.08049193605532469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061181429077455836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053699231491333814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06252401040595411,0.0,0.17991981795608214,0.0,0.11077460615041376,0.2386121849431773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29548064048393263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20113089142440568,0.0,0.0,0.06541908293413669,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,muklukukukuhh,2020/01/18,"Sober 1 month 17 days It’s been tough but it’s so much easier to breathe on this side guys. My bills get paid, I have enough money for everything I need and want. I go to work everyday. It’s just so simple and easier with a clear mind and not getting robbed and hit and sick 24/7",0.7615000000000016,2.70192415,2.273333333333337,96.57500000000002,82.5,6.666666666666668,16.666666666666668,7.793537801064563,0.06316666666666704,219,4,53,4,6,71,47,60,0.08800000000000001,0.71,0.20199999999999999,0.8118,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,1,13,9,8,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,4,0,5,6,2,6,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,28,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22370228527746389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35840916361570835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31174415434291897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3624502433066421,0.0,0.1971340657964826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3434555755329003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35023955406583723,0.0,0.2768681156463671,0.0,0.2549891688703799,0.2571995156541437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20459275863508464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525253005585013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Yogbox123,2020/01/18,"Milestone: Big 100 I never post on reddit and honestly barely use it but i want to send a little love to this community because when i can’t make it to a meeting or do my daily steps, i can always hop on here and read about someone who is going through the same shit, i’m only 16 years old and my addiction story is only a few years, pretty stereotypical story of not feeling like i fit in and i found that feeling that people didn’t provide in drugs, it started out as just smoking and drinking on the weekends and in 16 short months i was smoking crystal under burnside with sketchy 30 year olds, about a year later i slipped up and my parents caught me with some shit on me, i’m so grateful that moment happened honestly even though in the moment it seemed like hell, i never thought i could be sober for a lengthy period of time and honestly the positives definitely outweigh the negatives, i have friends that care about me and trust me, my parents don’t stress out over me in the middle of the nights anymore, the list goes on but i just want to say that this subreddit and real life resources helped changed my life :)",8.715746606334843,6.699076977375567,8.352981900452491,74.53834162895929,62.0316742081448,10.830950226244346,39.29457013574661,9.120678840339163,3.51278968325792,896,38,169,11,10,287,132,221,0.11900000000000001,0.6779999999999999,0.203,0.9747,2,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,10,13,3,1,13,0,11,8,2,2,2,35,28,17,0,3,6,2,2,2,1,0,4,1,0,0,12,14,1,0,5,3,0,4,7,4,0,0,5,3,22,9,30,21,3,43,1,0,0,1,9,20,3,3,20,115,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14306296930600804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10919608536748276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13014753475899346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07999821105231289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13380044235551053,0.0,0.13882675271068926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10477859995308006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128558045319676,0.1521882211771608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667793378354666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13271035128549116,0.09375263802607643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14388983731122607,0.10139002703917613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07458254453851254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11604860721725845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879624852636478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853870165500548,0.1282272970334913,0.13152960067610794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11844259868414915,0.0,0.08759881912163987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047486566213644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20242943417932766,0.0,0.0,0.12315296080973405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27541320045371026,0.0,0.0,0.19961670193686626,0.0,0.0,0.2914366756309371,0.0,0.0,0.09098020222643774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568461155264138,0.1335107935016462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13126817272224658,0.14937149676985936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043614779693194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946928427353767,0.0,0.0,0.2694168778167381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119300635956278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288715170395596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15032656784028942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289354214585133,0.1041840726546095,0.07652281898343563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11334288237499,0.0,0.0,0.15480884515324198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33803811983209386
addiction,hellobrodudewhatdod,2020/01/18,"Im back in the cycle again The boredom and pain fucked me up. I oded on a pcp analog by accident almost 2 years ago which was shocking and traumatic. I can't believe it but I did heroin when i was in one my peaks last year. That time, drugs were more recreational and not as addictive because the od made me decide that benzos, alcoholism, opiates, and dissos are not worth it. What does it matter? Here I am drinking alone mainly because I've been depressed with aspects of my life. I've been antisocial. These days, whenever I trip, I snap into it, remember why I'm alive, use it more often, then remember that i need a break feeling like I need it. I need a psych because therapy is not helping. Typically, I don't integrate the lessons from my trip. The ideas help the most because they remind me things I forgot. One big thing was realizing that even if I started late with smoking weed at 18, many years later now, im much more seasoned so drugs have literally been like a part of my life that has always caused me problems. But i want them no matter how much bad stuff happens to me,they make me feel something that isn't just the same bad feeling all the time. Or something like that",5.243333333333332,5.83005021276596,5.784680851063832,81.49333333333334,68.14893617021275,8.649645390070921,30.98581560283688,8.648137234880735,2.323785815602837,940,36,184,14,15,304,148,235,0.177,0.728,0.096,-0.9692,0,1,7,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,2,1,10,10,1,0,12,0,16,9,0,5,1,42,31,13,1,6,8,0,3,3,0,0,7,0,0,0,19,7,2,1,9,1,1,2,7,7,0,2,10,3,25,3,14,21,10,27,0,1,0,1,4,7,1,5,20,121,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12310010194730335,0.0,0.0,0.10009728259386858,0.12067776068220773,0.11307365140323908,0.11695166775650813,0.0,0.0,0.09395896999894758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682895729008826,0.18856793833901064,0.27534135447943736,0.0,0.0,0.12722282713295965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160005429911453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07282443362251077,0.0,0.09725833170451596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09881756215690894,0.0,0.0,0.11061918092268727,0.2619040501251568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745829793488573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17128811723908838,0.08067048625387345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043932583651306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985529762583464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513765715337837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12747359219605278,0.24394721138759165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204534553716423,0.12737933482898806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15951829287286975,0.16550187739519084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10684818487527276,0.07537536524404011,0.11448374643477935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16601924097313533,0.2511875419457421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15303581737182936,0.0,0.12015546060765027,0.0,0.0,0.12228198613990987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080497465963804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25583401342428824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17386356145523782,0.0,0.0,0.07992576904994671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292670502339978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12913452649999413,0.0,0.1500388340506054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316897987487859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752712699201983,0.0,0.0,0.06660348486108232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10189326146894184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21815145744177888
addiction,Aroostasha,2020/01/18,"Really want to relapse I've been clean for a year. In that time I've had a baby and havent had any desire to use.
But now I have an overwhelming urge to use again. I miss the comaradery of using drugs, I miss the comfort, I miss everything. I feel so alone and II want that warm comfort.",0.14566744730679204,2.2991273606557385,2.3167681498829045,93.97360655737705,86.8688524590164,6.108665105386418,18.550351288056206,7.447530270364453,0.3926843091334895,223,6,51,4,7,75,41,61,0.155,0.64,0.205,0.4787,0,1,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,1,5,0,5,1,0,3,0,10,14,4,0,3,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,3,2,5,3,6,11,0,5,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,29,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849206373522856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18707743566325646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31902866508140104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24724214420156296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13909882737839588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17623610629971348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16041302408109667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7127942264035977,0.0,0.0,0.3245222188025937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771553824640601
addiction,_giuseppi_mezzoalto_,2020/01/18,"My boyfriend is an addict and I don't know what to do Hello! I'm a 23 y/o F and I'm currently in a relationship with a 26 y/o M. We've been together for a year now and we get along super well. The one problem is that he struggles with addiction. He's struggled with it for almost 10 years now. He's basically been addicted to most types of drugs and, although he's been able to stop drinking and using cocaine, he still struggles with opiates, mainly Percocet and heroin, crack and occasionally Xanax. He's also used ecstasy and ketamine in the past but it's rare that he does. He's been trying for the last 6 months or so to get sober but he only manages to make 2 weeks, sometimes less, and he relapses again. He was on Suboxone for the last three months but decided to stop taking it and he relapsed a couple of days ago with Percocets. I've never tried anything outside of weed and alcohol when I was in high school and I don't even do that anymore so sometimes it's hard for me to relate to what he's going through. I've had friends and family that have gone through the same thing he has and they've been able to stay clean. I just can't understand why he can't. He graduated college a couple of years ago, he has a great tight knit family, he has people who support him but nothing seems to motivate him to stay sober long term. I'm getting to a point where I'm starting to lose hope. Can anyone give me advice/success stories/words of encouragement? Or maybe even some bitter truths that maybe I'm not accepting...",3.139,4.7445439322580665,4.509870967741937,84.81480645161294,74.19354838709677,7.669677419354839,27.238709677419358,8.364918446050245,1.8387638709677416,1209,46,246,21,25,401,169,310,0.083,0.805,0.113,0.9362,1,0,4,0,0,0,30.0,1,0,0,3,13,15,1,3,14,0,21,7,0,4,2,49,42,25,0,2,8,0,2,0,1,0,6,0,1,0,13,21,2,3,6,1,0,2,6,6,1,2,9,3,10,9,35,33,6,35,0,1,0,0,27,7,0,7,24,136,23,6,0.1979410754435347,0.0,0.0,0.3236774841503112,0.0,0.0,0.1754628202996158,0.10576940596207196,0.09910469726379588,0.0,0.0,0.07914670325902694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815217924318367,0.06920250115468111,0.0,0.08144431970868374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21901803507884526,0.0,0.0638278092022381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08660978451100286,0.0,0.0,0.0969534484901046,0.11477440269109483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307382135037112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18660122962358186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07646439193680367,0.0,0.15512406330395942,0.09494155807583247,0.05624723736421721,0.0,0.0,0.10911536723493984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865816200395484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10456780696262907,0.0,0.0983000753126624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05439161922871637,0.16134839532989262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875858114625691,0.0,0.1107227160275463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06606360244810004,0.0,0.19885841537185586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15799467795101516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763321800311421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496490019419894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06706499773791795,0.07527155372063846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09447857700519713,0.06861370930342071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935591482519358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09470143833665384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10625731882340418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10016346795926258,0.0,0.09009906046845684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19576878495384933,0.0,0.07005185599802902,0.2109788495246856,0.0790379992700588,0.16548760228543827,0.0,0.3103964845030641,0.0,0.0,0.11231059335272732,0.0,0.0,0.07441352733137678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657516275536681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343889970327224,0.0,0.0,0.10303182015183818,0.0,0.17095753565228952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793881955495945,0.0,0.08898639929562357,0.0,0.0893055164115007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19120134424883375
addiction,jupiterpup911,2020/01/18,Is there a shoplifters anonymous? I need fucking help,3.846666666666668,6.370183111111113,0.5872222222222234,98.86750000000002,106.7777777777778,1.8,37.833333333333336,3.1291,1.6574000000000009,44,3,7,0,2,11,9,9,0.0,0.667,0.33299999999999996,0.4576,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6790066500831264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4923004624432514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5446009766985838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Gullible-Worth,2020/01/19,"I’m addicted to picking spots, advice on how to stop? Need advice on how to stop picking spots on my face obsessively, especially when they aren’t ready to be popped. I get anxious about them being yellow and ugly but I turn them into big red scabs that’s take weeks to heal. But I can’t seem to stop myself. I’ve had counselling and hypnotherapy, neither have helped. I’ve tried changing my skincare routine, which helped for a short while. Recently been on lymecycline, but stopped it as my spots seemed to get worse after 6 months. They got better after stopping the medication but now they’re getting worse, which makes me anxious and therefore makes me pick them. Please help",5.206377952755909,7.194516448818899,4.879535433070867,82.69883070866145,69.55118110236221,7.2847244094488195,28.44803149606299,7.908726449838941,1.8341880314960628,547,20,98,7,10,167,85,127,0.188,0.725,0.08800000000000001,-0.8689,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,5,1,5,2,0,1,2,0,7,5,1,8,0,24,19,12,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,4,0,5,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,2,14,1,17,14,1,20,0,0,2,0,8,7,0,2,13,57,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495821260967444,0.0,0.2681653781193235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.310022651557516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135350680702768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14515287170612212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150639602753157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097415526286974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759123963311467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18318112187021074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13822738722569214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095218898308124,0.0,0.0,0.10174149866353907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15061837034709424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13548101472433546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.249826627136022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5735799199353542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031668945815504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09315843494459064,0.14924804565643585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006377328159636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27966298302344816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,pidytidyporny,2020/01/19,"I’ve lost the little self control I thought I had over my addiction I can’t stop taking them. They don’t produce the same magic they once did but I still cannot stop. This started after a life changing event that caused me to go into a sort of self preservation mode. I found solitude in high doses of doctor prescribed benzodiazepines before ultimately overdosing resulting in my doctor ceasing the prescription. This led to the most pain I’d ever endured, the benzo withdrawals, and then deciding to stay sober. With a few months of sobriety and the pain of the aforementioned life changing event remaining unsolved I made the decision to try my cousins adderall after reading about the effects online. From the very first time taking the two blue pills (10mg tablets) I fell into an abusive love story that I have tried to separate from thrice. My final attempt at quitting lasted 6 months before convincing myself that I now contained the self control to only use on occasion. That led to using no more than twice a week, then no more than four times a week, and now I find myself fighting a horrific war everyday as I try to talk myself out of taking another, and another, and another. At its peak I was using between 200-300mg of adderall per day depending on the daily events and using over a gram of cannabis shatter a day which which resulted in an overdose before my most recent attempt to quit. Now here I stand having lost my self control again and am using between 50-80mg of Dexedrine a day and still using cannabis but significantly less frequently as I’ve found I become delusional and hallucinate when I use too much cannabis. Please help. I can’t go to family as they all think I am clean (it’s helps that I’m extremely high functioning and am a software engineer) and I have a sibling who is a heroin addict that my family is always worried about so adding my addiction to their burden is not an option. I have only 1 friend and though he doesn’t use any substances he isn’t someone I can seek help from. I have OCD so I have a hard time making friends and going out to social events which feeds my never ending pain of being so alone. I’ve looked at various 12 step and AA programs and they all revolve around some higher power being a big part of the program and I don’t buy into any of that. I can’t do rehab and unfortunately can’t go into any of it. I am paranoid about my online presence so I am going to kick myself for posting this but I need help, even just some advice of some sort.",7.066834740284435,6.875096110882961,7.3393109742185745,74.56929652445055,64.27720739219713,10.00742261768956,34.05346414175983,9.53975657930432,3.1585133318123058,2014,78,359,34,27,656,246,487,0.142,0.782,0.076,-0.9866,1,1,0,0,2,0,31.0,0,0,6,13,21,12,2,0,31,0,30,15,0,21,4,75,59,31,1,1,5,1,1,0,2,0,13,0,1,4,17,25,1,6,8,1,1,9,13,8,1,4,9,3,48,4,60,48,15,70,0,2,2,1,24,21,0,9,37,248,65,6,0.0,0.07790341553891117,0.0,0.21503276637844787,0.0,0.06425048300515239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680975353998775,0.0,0.0,0.054709560012095725,0.0,0.0,0.13413748210009804,0.20683493084187296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058531753161144985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726160980375009,0.1678461204207045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675437232685803,0.13911030845381514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22123383189047024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272106129408058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13459654269908394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05823529613062557,0.0,0.0,0.04342748738745123,0.059474957659664825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12396716046194035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07202629676051844,0.06009463055688124,0.0559272158197705,0.0,0.14418373448126268,0.10159711770362866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18683720128577247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05889940070371335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17628429994167888,0.13893771365857324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05359531245985325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288283616830922,0.0,0.06589912593789167,0.0,0.0,0.05521373602788912,0.0,0.14354855238942474,0.0,0.05934225974211229,0.062214572836235965,0.043888870517616745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10496260733756103,0.0,0.048334074050003235,0.04875305288583345,0.05071072484044585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700219790170848,0.0,0.1000122110355774,0.20988903080681529,0.0,0.0,0.07120122388734776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.072174142032188,0.0,0.0,0.0629706621367931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13986718543848525,0.06576814497568514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06492054041512729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743678270058169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670242037235156,0.05571005987880751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04653843755843578,0.0700811268657283,0.10501663207543904,0.1099404767501494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14830824590764605,0.052847642355842106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04213017067660303,0.06459938700394093,0.052198435099755414,0.11501867699871884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339205191178118,0.0,0.0642285400009204,0.0,0.0,0.454297547709342,0.0,0.05425092633115043,0.0,0.0,0.10548193274324223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06677267405063828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ollie0816,2020/01/19,"i think my mom got me addicted to xanax ive had really bad anxiety for most of my teenage life, and when i would act up, my mom has given me some of her xanax so i wouldnt freak out. sometimes i would be in school and almost pass out because of how drowsy it had me but at least i wasnt crying hysterically. now i just started college and now that im away from my mom, i feel like shit most of the time. my anger problems have spiked again and i start crying at every little inconvenience.

yes i am on my own anxiety medication but its a really low dose of lexapro and it really doesnt do anything. i dont want to say anything to my doctor because my mom would probably get into some shit and i dont want that. is there any suggestions for dealing with this? i just want to not feel like shit",2.5639152464302164,3.8310075748503034,4.258323353293413,87.41292031321974,75.04790419161677,7.773192077383696,24.22339935513588,8.384062270229773,1.3013200368493787,623,19,139,11,13,210,97,167,0.213,0.6890000000000001,0.098,-0.9658,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,9,10,4,0,2,1,17,10,3,1,0,32,28,11,0,8,5,4,2,2,0,4,7,1,0,0,6,10,0,0,3,0,0,2,6,8,0,0,5,3,25,2,22,18,6,20,0,1,0,0,8,11,3,5,9,95,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981037451283633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100518708583632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07473773526373785,0.0,0.16815082306433307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808814315000513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10325738477865154,0.0,0.09176432413996548,0.13399156571444118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414463323522602,0.0,0.11330505579125165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124902669056195,0.0,0.0,0.2576107417268267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092597926549394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111404087750682,0.157029295952113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05741972497465867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08789938252088088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187139827480446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07762766280619436,0.10738600320457713,0.11015157026987912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11071560127932603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5148677550925191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11849390589026655,0.1051622248962157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21121982044241164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873991908658936,0.0,0.11122759409916956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33844121775068114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869677035838264,0.0,0.15557966519312613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07042133548386653,0.0,0.0,0.06408526011768145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19447071949174216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342155835416887,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,no_bathroom_pls,2020/01/19,"My brother is addicted to games, how do I help him? What's the next steps? I just found out that my brother (early 20s) stole $1000+ from my mom's credit card to ourchase who knows what in games. I'm honestly so lost, he did thid when he was in high school as well but I thought it was behind him. Honestly dont know what to do. I'm furious he would do this but i dont want to drive him over the edge. Any advice would be helpful.",0.3575672514619903,2.0066156105263167,2.3140350877193008,97.27269005847955,82.36842105263158,5.906432748538013,20.029239766081872,6.937597516519254,0.07641520467836216,333,9,83,4,9,111,64,95,0.086,0.758,0.156,0.7079,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,5,6,1,0,2,0,12,1,0,1,0,12,20,6,0,3,3,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,4,2,1,2,2,2,1,0,6,0,10,4,11,11,0,10,0,1,0,0,14,5,0,0,3,49,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23269828148614266,0.0,0.20858649449229336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451572339102804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5003371130083616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340432190668701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2861497878227164,0.22552772593547515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346194024894227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23301217307543276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499968017999585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22701261829722755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21602862111028592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16946002716537306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12590173544126532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19192235980908032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3032656896869189,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ComaBeats,2020/01/19,"Addicted to PC? So for some reason I just cant get off my pc , lets say I come back home from school telling myself ok I am going to turn on my pc for 1 hour and then im going to learn for school , what do I do? I sit there for 4 hours straight and dont turn it off, then ill stop and finally go do some school stuff but not everything because I just want to go back to my pc and do some stuff on there. And then because of that my grades get worse and worse, what can I do about that , should I stop sitting in front of my pc or any tips?",0.029504132231402025,1.4329053388429784,1.7677685950413211,101.9807438016529,82.38842975206613,5.391735537190083,17.611570247933887,6.1124844417494595,-0.6982793388429749,410,8,111,3,11,134,65,121,0.127,0.836,0.038,-0.9125,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,0,0,1,11,2,0,1,0,21,21,12,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,7,7,0,2,2,0,0,6,3,0,0,0,0,1,14,1,18,19,3,24,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,4,10,72,21,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512820021412806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943697427887757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21341425871941846,0.0,0.1691882895262453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195398208078262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626397920046535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12471935737266213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15201798169088754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14500532181605674,0.0,0.31546938295243593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13919966631720754,0.0,0.273325002802946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14989761166605398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14190380832100252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426807648726785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11035709247619226,0.0,0.42133412562391903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320392708410484,0.0,0.0,0.3177215592992459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12129287559153502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3018882503110816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08185134195651843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828411194612043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Recoverybabe,2020/01/19,"Seeking advice! To start, I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years this month. During that time, he has hidden that he has a drug problem. I knew that he would take pills/coke here and there but thought it was just sometimes and for fun. It escalated last year when he was using coke constantly and lying about it. He would wake me up every hour with all these paranoid accusations of stuff he would just make up and none of it made sense.   


He ended up going to rehab last year and to my knowledge, I thought he didn't pick it back up. Since then his dad has passed and I noticed he was acting strange again. He starting using coke & pills again, and refuses to go to rehab or see a counselor. He just started a new job, and so only allows himself to do it on his days off. In doing so, he stays up all night and then when I go to work the next day he harasses me with nonsense of how I'm cheating on him, or to explain this or that, making up a lot of stuff. It's not as intense as it was last year, and my reactions are a lot different as well. I tend to just ignore him and sleep in another room. I figure if I don't participate then he will leave me alone.   


I used to have the urge to want to talk to him about this, and let him know how much it hurt me and expected an apology for how he treated me.. although it always ended in a fight and he would say to drop it and it was the drug, not him. He lies to me all the time, saying he is going to the store or a friends, and he will come back high.   


When he does go for awhile without using, he will say he needs pills instead so he doesn't end up doing coke. And I shouldn't have a problem with it since he's not using coke. If I try to push it, he says that talking about it is going to end up with him going out and getting coke if I don't stop.   


The other night he told me he thinks he would be able to quit no problem if he has a job he is passionate about and something he loves doing. Then it was brought up how if I stay with him or leave him, he's still gonna be doing this. It doesn't matter. That he would figure out what days he has our daughter and then make sure not to use it then.  


This was really a stab in the heart for me and over the past few days, I have been thinking about leaving since I feel like I cannot help this situation or him anymore. We have been through the motions of this. Anger, sadness, patience, understanding. He doesn't seem to acknowledge this is a problem at all. Idk what to do anymore. I think it's time to let go and take care of myself since he doesn't understand or care to try to know how this is hurting me. It makes me angry that he doesn't even acknowledge my feelings, yet I try so hard to be patient for him.  

​

Looking for anyone who has gone through this to offer some insight, thank you!",4.119596986817329,4.059626498305087,4.901666666666667,89.11044726930322,70.45762711864407,7.775894538606403,27.06685499058381,7.1686216300943375,1.080391713747646,2174,63,498,18,36,705,240,590,0.145,0.7809999999999999,0.073,-0.9923,3,1,3,0,1,0,62.0,2,1,0,2,33,23,4,0,21,0,56,16,3,18,5,118,110,57,0,19,22,2,3,1,1,11,6,4,1,0,44,32,5,3,20,0,1,15,17,12,1,0,18,9,48,11,77,76,10,85,0,3,2,2,71,22,0,16,46,330,92,3,0.060722967672176525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05933778122803321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628906814195022,0.0,0.0,0.05052637351876964,0.1315866202060307,0.07378505218171537,0.0,0.06367332613736268,0.0,0.0,0.12044173436529025,0.04245891087570845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09338442786959958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382222503086746,0.0,0.0,0.05230745987056944,0.0,0.06561995582414575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15664516265110354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06344257699257172,0.0,0.0,0.05313907821477972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14083872846680268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21513010330345256,0.0,0.0,0.04010694745552506,0.0,0.05116171922392939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06140671395217099,0.04338050023802556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04691441419368952,0.0,0.03172524436064664,0.0,0.2760820951154965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05439585182789894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07195700906121939,0.040701325245436265,0.06415714926792393,0.0,0.0,0.05979989144672687,0.0,0.13001038559070902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12051635141402972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06674350997966266,0.14849196971807166,0.0,0.1928905651813762,0.0,0.12418669710346195,0.0,0.02966617476905325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0509919993744254,0.0,0.0,0.10324899128202272,0.05480484910708307,0.057457540231348365,0.16213220977099752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048468493465027296,0.0,0.04463836811325846,0.045025311110989334,0.0,0.058646620566549824,0.06457956500640835,0.11396878334739273,0.0,0.0,0.06913350116389284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04618255319641005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05796694359010277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23241471698543625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06458635065719304,0.0,0.0,0.038900687991248066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19315736453749896,0.0,0.0,0.04838834340559741,0.0552799091735791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2009226654090328,0.06825515985613799,0.060766821073217826,0.0,0.0,0.04674750716982797,0.060056567710045534,0.0,0.12894008717329786,0.1294452081812101,0.048493440422055216,0.050767119968443616,0.0,0.0,0.1390265402838215,0.0,0.0,0.05723067840422232,0.0,0.09131222924581532,0.09761364253952236,0.0,0.05590555024454058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11672647739508032,0.0,0.0964145070207984,0.10622415231245012,0.0,0.0,0.05802339783637581,0.0,0.12368072726737488,0.0,0.0,0.12642950171441894,0.0,0.3146708853875135,0.0,0.0,0.03581597961089249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05459724047253616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058534773931823575,0.0,0.04420704367239904,0.0,0.0,0.258815124043554,0.0,0.07378505218171537,0.15641440120073344
addiction,Satanic-Squirrel,2020/01/19,"Sugqr How do I quit eating sugar. Its making me fat and lazy and I hate it, yet I cant stop.",-3.907727272727272,-2.7389585909090925,0.5004545454545449,101.2706818181818,112.1818181818182,2.2,5.5,3.1291,-2.6308545454545453,69,0,18,0,4,26,19,22,0.26899999999999996,0.65,0.08199999999999999,-0.6499,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,2,3,1,2,0,5,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,12,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4935914842076101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4762468298562985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3219899937626611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5130666799554763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40328827109865295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Primrosedoll88,2020/01/19,"Still in the same cycle Over this last month I’ve developed an unhealthy relationship with drugs and alcohol again. I’ve just started university, a late bloomer so I should feel great getting back into education but I feel like I’m just running away from everything again and this has got to stop. I always promise myself after a session that this time around I’ll be fine, but it won’t because I KNOW I’m an addict. It’s always all or nothing and it’s time to reach out. I don’t want to hurt my family or friends, or career path. I think I’m going to tell my doctor what’s been going on. I think I’d really like to go to open meetings and get this problem solved. This has got to stop before I destroy it all again.",3.4371375921375917,4.645513500000003,4.805921375921376,84.57052825552827,72.78378378378378,7.543980343980343,26.29238329238329,8.00094639256281,1.5005459459459465,570,19,117,8,11,190,93,148,0.13699999999999998,0.711,0.152,-0.1545,0,0,2,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,9,9,1,0,5,0,7,4,0,0,2,29,24,10,0,3,7,0,2,2,1,2,4,0,0,0,11,9,1,2,5,0,0,4,2,3,0,0,3,2,11,6,17,18,3,26,0,1,0,0,4,8,0,3,16,71,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17483497535164574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17139460472094095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26689359218994346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14276983634029644,0.0,0.0,0.1506797920969421,0.12332027648620672,0.0,0.09776453910718257,0.0,0.1364693056823569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16415300529451998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859868002697908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14413681378805887,0.0,0.15118948480831962,0.0,0.1621832058181159,0.11457360516109798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390713658669054,0.0,0.16758108371603775,0.0,0.2734384180471414,0.0,0.2565368222735436,0.17681658572346648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17168726160118125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813919292674025,0.130728938998871,0.18091262730772267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15670453664571832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12801166428568705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15388638503826846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15345945684932524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027418319740238,0.0,0.0,0.17218524575031655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351590811671848,0.0,0.1280775524794332,0.2681652782478513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401768658149566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20552664998526785,0.0,0.0,0.18703463566718467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09459471153814207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,lost-teenager,2020/01/19,"Overcoming nicotine and ritalin addiction... please help I faked my way to a prescription for Adderall and literally can’t function without it. I’m running on 30 mg XR every day and it’s not enough so I sometimes double my dosage.

Also, I can’t go an hour without hitting my juul. It’s overcome my life. I’m scared to death of getting caught at school.

All of this was caused by the stress caused by school, but I’ve decided to cut back and get my life sorted out before studying again.",2.890520833333333,5.128537843750003,4.057500000000001,84.97083333333337,76.8125,6.766666666666668,28.375,7.793537801064563,1.9280500000000005,387,17,73,6,9,126,70,96,0.098,0.8640000000000001,0.038,-0.6652,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,1,2,3,0,3,4,0,2,1,14,10,7,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,0,0,3,5,4,0,0,2,0,8,0,13,7,3,11,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,4,44,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085321840775868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15297296569582544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14708868488697666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16277202153777076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3930109918915374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12336495224038348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19765166590554248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16116841252618136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199880197466824,0.0,0.1087133937043676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12821633199633786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18838017408138846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702247803770919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099768104002768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915126850103536,0.3871873904327058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891887494482787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21911978808136331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15183553172509232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3687896628680318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,endriggity,2020/01/19,"Struggling I have been doing cocaine every weekend for the last 5 years, I'm so sick of it, I'm currently not employed due to seasonal work, and I'm borrowing from friends to feed my habit. I just walked in the door, at 8am and told my wife everything. I'm sick of who I am, I love my friends but I feel like they're only fueling the fire. I'm gonna get help, I thought it was under control, but I cant do this alone. I plan on deleting my Facebook,  Instagram, and anything that might distract me. I'm even considering not answering any calls from anyone except my wife and family.

Just had to get it off my chest.
Thanks",2.214799154334038,3.8738266744186056,3.893713883016208,88.03414376321354,76.82945736434108,7.481606765327696,27.231148696264967,8.296473431620573,1.7850248062015497,487,20,105,9,11,163,87,129,0.121,0.747,0.132,0.3472,2,1,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,3,4,7,0,2,3,0,9,5,1,1,0,16,23,7,0,0,7,2,2,1,2,2,2,0,1,0,6,4,1,1,3,1,1,1,3,2,0,0,5,2,15,5,14,16,0,12,0,0,0,1,9,5,0,1,7,59,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22936801414792776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15060186692237734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548514954939756,0.0,0.18224449255366315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22613763211187946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483886501181898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462736717709726,0.0,0.18659142616870425,0.0,0.1990359145486208,0.0,0.2087748201733297,0.0,0.11197792516040124,0.15821261541068524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.342202239684529,0.0,0.23140968210602866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14844142143194686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805212231891779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10819522766425392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19987825098473827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349363604086489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16843195646560152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23152034015811376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038926077760881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17581622198447322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21161658985805964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612270942153379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14261437377439634
addiction,throwawayacc1857,2020/01/19,"My girlfriend is addicted to Ritalin and i dont know how to help She has ADHD and at this point she admitted to me that she can’t function, eat, sleep, study, or live normally without it and keeps upping the dose since she has a tolerance to it now. Rehab isnt an option because of family reasons and personal reasons (trust me the reasons are valid)

I guess her admitting this is the first step, but i dont know how to help her. I said we’ll figure it out together but at this point i really need advice in order to help her. I was an addict myself in the past so i know the pain of it.

I was thinking she needs a tolerance break maybe? What should i do? Im lost and care about her and i’m not sure what to do or say.

Thanks a lot",1.7494230769230759,3.1799689423076964,3.84,88.905,77.52564102564101,7.620512820512822,22.89743589743589,8.384062270229773,1.2261435897435895,569,17,128,11,13,195,91,156,0.064,0.7909999999999999,0.145,0.8962,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,2,5,6,0,0,10,0,15,8,1,5,1,34,30,13,0,4,6,0,0,0,1,2,6,2,0,1,10,7,1,1,10,0,0,1,6,2,0,1,4,2,23,4,17,24,1,14,0,1,0,0,19,8,0,5,3,91,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2910529026757174,0.16043195760211745,0.130447256192027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137574540983088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361044277068241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31290426411280586,0.0,0.0,0.1365960808240721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258447811114513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11354859152674915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14705696011309574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684314828646529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441947302456331,0.0,0.0,0.11865420409844385,0.0,0.0,0.22009184280113198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11787626010095005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14572275501832616,0.1134904890155496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13411108707655953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19796588858115693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13079423684897945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420453558891651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12743362803047545,0.0,0.1165604395635298,0.0,0.0,0.2523869870844785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551866799567964,0.4117573490341804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12698186900596947,0.10615853717368193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11042631636610052,0.0,0.13358883518159229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258150340867834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229018929319266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08553655802438001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12868193743010406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,fillyourboots1983,2020/01/19,"I want to stop but I can't I don't know where to begin. My addictions have taken over my life and I am out of control. All my disposable income is spent on one form of drug or another and I have also been seeing escorts on a weekly basis. 

I am physically dependent on a certain number of the drugs I'm using and I'm worried that even if I want to taper my impulses will get the better of me and I will use more. I hate walking up every morning and I want out of my head. I am being harassed on a daily basis by neighbour's who are maliciously keeping me awake most nights. The sleep deprivation is having a seriously negative toll on my already frail mental health. 

I don't like who I am anymore. I hate myself and the liar i have become. I am obviously just a weak individual seeking the easy way out. I'm not even sure why I've written this. I don't want pity. I want a way out. I have family who are oblivious. Why can't I make this stop?",1.2740782861676792,3.179958402010051,4.267601163713305,83.12079344088865,80.55778894472361,7.0035440359693215,23.53901084369215,8.032893268588372,1.4179587939698497,738,26,153,14,19,266,111,199,0.226,0.672,0.10099999999999999,-0.9862,1,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,5,12,4,0,11,0,23,8,2,5,4,34,44,10,0,6,5,0,0,1,1,2,6,0,0,0,6,10,0,4,1,0,1,1,7,8,0,1,4,1,29,4,20,37,4,20,0,2,1,0,4,12,0,4,6,110,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15038159451863908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522269353091588,0.11031543452795893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14464849811498673,0.0,0.0,0.1368054493393316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15235061327419674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12200210232515565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15471826439048209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3199473277899542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822241766011403,0.0,0.116225526380654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13004329227717445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07207113602324786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723864002167186,0.1415724809028964,0.14663023796046545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12261281880115545,0.0,0.0,0.07581156084616557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743539955548716,0.06739348932240348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920800830666726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390172086565071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12945305627374193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09347583743143717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10992516999649543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13804570825310358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306582081550697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300125528139317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23828225377360104,0.0,0.0,0.4068208756721915,0.21899036320369056,0.11065202880001504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489497715763629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14009094562364466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,bbgfox,2020/01/19,"You got this Hi, 

Today marks one year no cocaine for me and alcohol will be end of next month. If your reading this, I hope you realize that if you and I didn’t hit as low (or, maybe as low as you will keep hitting) as we did then we will never be as ‘high’ as we are now. Sure, high maybe not the best choice for an “addiction” sub well it’s meant as in high off yourself and your own self power. You have the power to control your life you just have to use it and if that requires submitting to outside help that’s okay too. To be honest , now, the thought of me actually using doesn’t scare me as much as the thought of how fast I could loose what I have created for myself. The first few months were terrifying and I felt so fragile. What has kept me sober is 1. Never forgetting or numbing out the low I felt the day I decided to get clean because I never wanna be there again and 2. How fucking amazing I feel and the drive I have to keep taking hold of my life. Now, tonight thinking to myself how fast this year of work could be gone if I let it AND how shitty it would be is a very satisfactory feeling. I have created so much space and peace for myself and it’s mortifying to think of fucking that up.

I hope this helped someone in some way. 

<3 bbgfox",1.4455343511450425,3.3917602404580163,2.999490076335878,92.2237541984733,80.18320610687023,6.024061068702292,22.31206106870229,7.087006719466742,0.5648132519083973,981,31,219,12,25,322,140,262,0.087,0.773,0.14,0.9195,2,0,2,0,0,0,23.0,3,9,0,7,14,15,2,1,10,1,26,7,0,7,4,57,50,32,0,10,8,0,5,0,0,4,5,0,1,1,15,14,1,6,11,1,0,2,7,7,1,2,11,5,33,8,33,24,6,35,0,3,0,2,16,12,2,9,20,161,48,3,0.0,0.0,0.11243330810560584,0.12560145475652418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12312989232887472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023404962745995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12091112900922905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12922352065126208,0.18397974885183724,0.0,0.0,0.07430420170344673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10204637230928534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11651242291115398,0.0,0.22124910955423666,0.0,0.0,0.09800189690740987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21302898876634635,0.06019512932716831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09214803277023384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15445249272691428,0.3651932057836865,0.0,0.2288691626671076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20481693205233864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781523583991088,0.16275965111455884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314980882298565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18392717163997047,0.0,0.1693926963011466,0.0,0.2665829411531288,0.0,0.12253255556559535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07807272694211034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152462690878348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535040477338848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019446660631425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09762137208014747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10858885904428454,0.0,0.08662740917170135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14765035529912693,0.0,0.18293582401310915,0.0,0.0,0.10921043380833588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990176910440862,0.0,0.09506451575509003,0.0,0.09145237581795276,0.0,0.0,0.103592202909161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08387795790574641,0.0,0.0,0.08184549442984597,0.0,0.0,0.14838948128937013
addiction,idkman69lolol,2020/01/19,"addiction help? I have a long history of addiction dating back to when i was 6 or so years old or thats as old as my memory goes.

Anyways i wanted some advise on the last few years of my addiction.i got out of the last rehab 9 months ago. I went in for abusing meth and heroin, but before that i was abusing vyvanse and adderol almost everyday and was suffering when i wasn’t on it. I was addicted to these pills and then happened to get introduced to the wrong guy who i was very attracted to and he gave me meth and heroin and it went downhill until rehab. After rehab i didnt want to use meth or heroin again, but asap i was back on vyvvanse i had it as soon as i was home. Its been 9 months i relapsed a once on meth but was so disgusted by the experience (due to it being done in a bad situation), i have not touched it since. Okay anyways so now i am stuck on vyvanse i take two 50mg capsules when i work and none when i dont work sometimes i run out because i work more often than not, and usually purchase adderol when i have ran out. It’s awful and good. The days i work i usually have more energy to get me through the day and the day is usually overall better, but when i don't work its awful i cant even move im withdrawling majorly and it sucks. I don’t get anything done on my days off and when i work i feel happier than ever but when i'm off i literally want to die. I want to stop this cycle but i'm scared i wont be able to do it and then i will just go back to meth and heroin, but this sucks and was wondering if anyone had advice or thoughts.",1.4789070197044332,3.012490497023812,3.7839778325123166,88.56964285714287,78.55357142857143,7.253530377668308,23.788587848932682,8.104835398774808,1.2452197454844007,1221,41,274,22,29,423,160,336,0.209,0.7240000000000001,0.067,-0.9944,0,0,5,0,0,1,21.0,0,0,0,7,23,11,3,1,10,3,31,7,0,1,1,47,55,46,1,5,15,0,2,0,0,2,7,0,1,1,16,19,0,1,3,0,1,6,10,7,0,1,23,2,37,4,39,28,6,59,0,1,0,0,6,13,2,9,40,194,53,7,0.09234036908593438,0.21881647551587616,0.0,0.3019938967621957,0.0,0.09023393996350472,0.08185416569562602,0.0,0.09246554110088433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06456653308540741,0.0,0.07598825584837288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21301213198878616,0.07710035112696174,0.056289831922466484,0.0,0.07857485290258175,0.0,0.0,0.08166755249600989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382075957291673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09583472444706716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18899251493257152,0.10822222485353153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06098994289849757,0.08352715042412705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032659969367186,0.0,0.0,0.046690065127498896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14473209491764769,0.0,0.052479159736177165,0.0774507205301444,0.07385302861127341,0.0,0.0,0.09143148312722182,0.08165628342393973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06189380294685998,0.0,0.0926249191666844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974344429970056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15053945061984533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171832085909644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14741040325176838,0.09814319879217276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19379136806734507,0.09833947941288994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244881836265173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638490752692972,0.10379444376239133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913269861631128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07720068328386366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06942846565189796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07330793853491367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902031230165515,0.0,0.0,0.07975243089278579,0.3050996123972285,0.07619047516167284,0.2178589685734026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17120089452246331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013919129727013,0.40334933077828894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10095969776148024,0.0,0.11892834038683801
addiction,fluffymalachite,2020/01/19,"addicted to self harm i cant stop the more i boeed the more i just want to peel and cut up my skin more, my fingers hurt so bad",-1.0440000000000005,0.4479812666666696,1.2900000000000027,103.625,86.33333333333334,5.333333333333334,16.666666666666668,6.42735559955562,-0.745333333333333,98,2,28,1,3,33,23,30,0.37,0.537,0.09300000000000001,-0.9059999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,2,0,1,3,2,0,0,4,2,2,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,5,0,3,2,3,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,17,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4795966238657826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3673292920400448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4709620077966444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4589505790635962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3678073046512058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2594864339815487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,throwaway68768768,2020/01/19,"Have you ever seen someone who has taken high doses of Benzos daily for years successfully (over a year) kick them? I have seen people kick H (or other opiates), meth and crack. I have never seen someone getting off of benzos (and increasingly Pregabalin btw) for more than a few months and I have been to detox quite a few times now and many people agree with my ""fuck Benzos, I'd much rather go through a week of H withdrawal than months of Benzo withdrawal"". Just a thought I just had.",5.717096774193551,6.505209473118281,5.807688172043015,81.03153225806457,67.17204301075269,8.350537634408601,27.32795698924731,8.344100000000001,1.7593956989247306,383,11,72,5,6,121,62,93,0.04,0.882,0.078,0.3182,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,1,2,5,2,1,0,5,0,7,3,0,0,2,12,15,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,7,3,7,1,13,8,5,14,0,0,3,1,3,3,1,1,9,49,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175105407536262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22230211495002852,0.12563083209109213,0.0,0.13665940181786249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25406001465255224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24378948754371896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3838669984692865,0.0,0.1767663399375888,0.0,0.18545817628272493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3334104538928114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557596367911737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4074832745235991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19089899836516916,0.1402146136525667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19288313210755084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3096977150198621
addiction,doggypede,2020/01/19,How does addiction happen? I can enjoy two drinks but after that I’m too tired and have no appetite for more. I’m curious how some people develop devastating appetites for alcohol and drugs. What causes someone to go overboard or over indulge? I can understand how heroin might feel irresistible but does alcohol just feel that damn good to some people? Is there something wrong with me?,5.8221739130434775,8.469187086956527,5.8254347826086965,73.77989130434786,69.43478260869566,9.237681159420287,31.78985507246377,9.725611199111238,3.6480898550724636,315,14,48,8,6,99,52,69,0.275,0.5920000000000001,0.134,-0.9446,0,0,5,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,6,4,1,0,0,0,5,6,0,4,0,17,12,8,0,0,4,0,2,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,3,3,3,0,3,1,0,1,1,2,0,1,0,2,3,2,7,11,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,34,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22287889560600266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4369862510198375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100247887904325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35782828399991995,0.0,0.0,0.2002815634339873,0.2370951953866876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067504727007841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11619271736680699,0.17148158860879986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18079301400401687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21688740660050596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28347750773809305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17322843623859985,0.15739433985139215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349833200443225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19971634513500647,0.2128379582657718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22353219232950436,0.0,0.0
addiction,StrugglingButDecent,2020/01/20,"Trouble quitting Adderall So I will try to keep this short.... 

I was prescribed adderall around a year ago, and I 100 percent abused it like crazy. I noticed this and got myself off of it and stayed off of it with the help of my parents and the fact that they would probably disown me if they knew that I was still using it. However, recently, I have been working opening shifts from 4 am until noon, and I began doing this shifts easily with the help of loads of coffee. Once I felt like coffee was making me feel worse about my heart health, and the fact that I would have a massive crash about 2 hours after work, I messaged my friend asking if he had any adderall. That was about 2 months ago, and since then I have been saying to myself that I will not do it again after I have used it. However, the next day I return to using it... I am not totally unproductive while using it, I keep myself busy doing homework for classes that just started, but a lot of the time I end up putting the energy that the pills give me to ""perfect"" my stream for overwatch (lol i know its a dead game). I feel guilty, and angry with myself... but really find it hard to stop. Any tips on what to do from this point would be very helpful. But as of now, I am saying that I will not take any tomorrow after I get off work in the morning, and I will try to make it until my 7 pm class without taking it. I hope that it goes well, because I feel like a shitty person....",6.324687144482367,5.140302037542663,6.647112627986349,82.19706257110353,66.16723549488054,9.178521046643914,29.772241183162684,7.793537801064563,1.767833401592719,1119,30,234,10,15,363,152,293,0.12300000000000001,0.797,0.08,-0.9415,3,0,0,0,1,0,41.0,0,0,2,5,10,8,0,0,14,1,26,3,1,6,4,49,49,20,1,6,10,1,5,3,1,7,2,2,1,1,27,14,0,3,7,1,0,1,4,1,1,0,11,7,39,7,38,30,3,38,0,0,0,0,15,10,0,4,29,171,66,6,0.0,0.1293333585360784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19352243261620164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226917901553825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717299511154924,0.10204718851555147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06654117791450982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039732340040898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09668082434915748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16557938571045686,0.0779818809044159,0.1048079702107857,0.0,0.09976764620832597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433453372549789,0.0,0.05703009909569546,0.10471347288179728,0.0,0.0,0.0873029346244457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778335463313084,0.0,0.0,0.11602893283953965,0.0,0.12935173361443433,0.21949718517717826,0.0,0.0,0.10841766744874276,0.10749779249451784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19404775871374771,0.0,0.0,0.05998990811330535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15998599105840047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09280149488223413,0.0,0.0,0.14572647391983096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712818580393228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160898541869358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12427612463404285,0.0,0.1162487890290126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12120608341660412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09531180215589533,0.0,0.0,0.1031887777267998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768985654564405,0.0,0.0,0.10973307268094226,0.0,0.1161020522438611,0.0,0.0,0.06992885746795205,0.0,0.10777950455422328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17361227411539487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09029591221259588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07726198381440305,0.1163469848508816,0.08717303108282957,0.09126025475771583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16414516538751625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06365040474676219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14822106232086416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3771068778788406,0.0,0.09006607037141366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09814537593798972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10522358535453656,0.0,0.238403088660711,0.0,0.11124044875864522,0.2326262960164596,0.0,0.0,0.07029361775016663
addiction,mindfucked007,2020/01/20,"Caffeine makes me feel focused and ""hypomanic"", how to overcome addiction? I feel like **WITHOUT caffeine I have to force myself to do things**, **like to have real discipline to do stuff.**   
I also feel **DEPRESSED** without this drug, like a drug addict without cocaine.

Today in the morning, I felt ""not tired"" but at the same time not very clearheaded. I work as a software developer and have to think clearheaded. But I think everyone has to have a clear head.    
Without caffeine, I feel a bit slow and have to force my brain to focus and push myself. I spent times on developing code f.e. 2 hours, I could have done in around 30 minutes if my brain synapses would fire a bit faster. 

With caffeine, and also good music and motivation BUT also when I had a good sleep the night before, I can think faster and be more productive.  **It doesn't take discipline to do stuff, because I feel like doing it automatically!** 

The way caffeine effects me is pretty heavy. One espresso can cause sweating sensations and jitteriness. One mild cup of coffee does not effect me that hard, but does have a good effect on me. 

I drank a mild cup of coffee today at around 2-3 p.m. and I still feel wide awake. Yesterday at Sunday for example **I drank no caffeine**, no tea and no coffee, and I **felt sleepy like a normal person in the evening**. (*I did nothing yesterday because I felt lethargic without caffeine*)    Today I feel like being on speed or other hard stimulant, even though I drank only one cup of coffee and a Yerba mate at work.   
I feel pretty happy and slight euphoric but also restless. I actually **feel like I took some low dose amphetamine or similar stuff**.  I did a workout 1-2 hours before (40 min cardio and many pushups) but I don't feel slightly tired. I even sweat a bit and I have to go to sleep soon. 

**THE ISSUE is that when I cannot sleep well, I feel more tired and also depressed the next day**. I also had many times I felt **pretty ill** the next day because I only slept 3-4 hours the night before **BECAUSE OF CAFFEINE**.  **I think my body cannot tolerate caffeine well and so it causes a real effect even in tiny dosages.** I am not even able to sleep when I had a black tea many hours before. 

I try to come down with a herbal sleep pill with melatonin but that doesn't help much.",0.2584279715673645,2.3791305899772226,1.8745934077997648,91.0432713999506,105.2870159453303,4.120218459258446,19.412163460219013,6.0702503773470475,0.3005770562889372,1775,62,337,22,83,573,188,439,0.077,0.78,0.14300000000000002,0.9866,0,0,3,0,0,0,100.0,0,0,0,7,24,17,0,1,24,0,33,29,12,10,1,81,62,40,0,4,19,0,18,7,1,1,11,0,0,1,12,23,6,2,24,1,1,4,17,4,2,3,16,19,45,13,42,42,8,50,0,3,1,0,3,16,0,4,36,219,57,3,0.054507444138634266,0.0,0.05319140268596213,0.11884231942409287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26153750030801204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097046363065245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13290892810842428,0.0,0.1855272811960752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17852403508538392,0.06054548261434035,0.0,0.12169666870560818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11198831979378307,0.0,0.046953336706488435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04351975883360282,0.0,0.0,0.07030558436214734,0.0,0.0938943635321308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09539966336980588,0.055780039934215014,0.0,0.0,0.12642266046522696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18000826390809474,0.0,0.0,0.05208419873966683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3031666167413445,0.15576051593497056,0.20934277712714885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030977836628528963,0.13715477416594632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05802418784738146,0.09765592719017227,0.0,0.05594036308425347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03653519083851591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21471541115223786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056891610202157765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18640708750149595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036384142219778697,0.16578597922477528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04006924314880108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11593857042981813,0.10230308777715663,0.05340572222966429,0.05230136272491743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11080696443624166,0.08291073493386783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04759379777172512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16636099940664806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240828092558889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727340438145685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0435297152992493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18719394824094485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04098281445713178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03621232387340666,0.13970467715962653,0.05355328711679822,0.0,0.09535118704347603,0.1879448660052211,0.15500005096580907,0.0,0.06055977602699076,0.03700697660752991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04497434989572156,0.0,0.0432654720445616,0.0,0.0,0.09801747672302716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627161552348169,0.0,0.07936413702690451,0.0,0.0,0.038720524421112776,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,lala_l0ca,2020/01/20,Boyfriend is 4 months sober! My bestfriend who is my boyfriend (M27) is 4 months sober off Heroin.. He now has awful anxiety and still feels so sick. Pot makes him sick. Xans are making him have awful mood swings. He stopped taking suboxon.. What should he do? He is so desperate to stay clean but his anxiety is really messing with him. Any suggestions? He wants to be off all narcotics..,1.6639772727272728,4.4232900694444455,2.0405050505050504,92.09136363636364,92.75,5.951515151515152,21.823232323232325,7.348242739294969,1.1792611111111109,303,11,58,6,11,92,51,72,0.21,0.7659999999999999,0.023,-0.8977,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,2,11,2,0,2,1,10,16,4,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,6,0,5,14,1,8,0,0,0,0,11,2,0,0,5,31,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20332522917449986,0.0,0.4574570598746076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511796484399396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3991597806888244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4773061009689336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19154232350453745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3186863423486981,0.23877588630975016,0.24997121178363274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22480523426805973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17635358929397135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,blaisedez,2020/01/20,"Concerned about surgery Hello, 
I am a 21 year old male and after a doctor visit he recommended that I get an operation done for a deviated septum. He told me he prescribes Percocet for the pain after. I have no experience with opioids but however I smoke pot, drink, and vape. Alcohol is mostly weekends and I control that fine. However I smoke pot every day, although I don’t let it interfere with my day to day routine, I am dependent on it. With nicotine I typically don’t use, but when I do I become pretty hooked. So what I am trying to say is I definitely have an addictive personality. I am very concerned that I will become addicted to the pain medicine after the operation. Any advice would be great. And I apologize if this wasn’t the best way to word or go about my question. Thanks",3.3668347338935583,5.626153568627455,5.639463118580768,74.0954411764706,75.40522875816994,8.815873015873017,29.8828197945845,9.424239791934726,3.16689766573296,628,29,112,17,14,220,95,153,0.052000000000000005,0.767,0.18100000000000002,0.9688,2,0,5,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,4,6,0,0,9,0,17,7,0,3,0,19,22,11,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,2,7,7,2,2,1,2,0,2,4,2,0,0,3,1,19,4,15,15,2,14,0,0,0,0,11,1,0,5,10,81,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3430851222714001,0.0,0.15376762241218533,0.0,0.16816697802905825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10700828348758663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34757730126888675,0.0,0.0,0.16513666008295025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17648946610101324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.304447104248786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16106174917065308,0.0,0.1610310360305374,0.0,0.15415013721381268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325802172034496,0.0,0.0,0.15392552382275124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08221263577475221,0.0,0.08942971593709652,0.0,0.0,0.1734868547055163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609083854638637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16511989792184925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3348782839497489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13739822654927314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16008883058720455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17627606285071196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12513675133130456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14487335661763345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15036153602185465,0.0,0.10683520109516877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13590608683313307,0.0,0.12983615944071045,0.0,0.12490281103962525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178203118052793,0.0,0.0,0.10133286957273227
addiction,random-reddit-userna,2020/01/20,"advice to stop? my dad is a smoker, he quit for 9 years but started again about 2 years ago. he recently started developing Leukoplakia on his tongue, and while i was reading up on it, it mentioned it was pre-cancerous and it freaked me out. i would love some advice on how i could encourage him to stop.",3.253,5.0569983,4.233333333333333,86.08500000000002,74.33333333333334,7.466666666666668,28.66666666666667,8.238735603445708,1.9670666666666672,238,10,48,4,5,77,45,60,0.11,0.733,0.157,0.7227,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,1,0,10,8,5,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,7,2,9,4,1,15,0,0,0,1,8,5,0,1,10,33,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4866604614893556,0.22073283106318392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19881466463671973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22474174637412184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2648533747491516,0.249077939091906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24586788052652145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35250190255170044,0.0,0.0,0.4163679450261635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17688995260234425,0.0,0.0,0.320709264386718
addiction,pin3appl3princ3ss,2020/01/20,"i fucked up. i had three days clean from heroin and eleven days clean from crack/cocaine. i lapsed and now i’m back to square one. today is my second day clean. gotta just keep going, right?",0.3438461538461546,2.7192356923076986,0.7648205128205134,103.47184615384614,89.51282051282051,3.12,10.364102564102565,3.1291,-2.0890451282051288,148,1,34,0,5,44,31,39,0.174,0.6409999999999999,0.185,-0.128,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,7,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,4,1,1,4,0,4,5,0,9,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,6,19,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26547954904173754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6679821479163747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3191824020318636,0.0,0.0,0.1962161994827093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3068782362806297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23395351649434545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2948456229651357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3272610811490953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,myiglooisleaking,2020/01/20,"Addiction to porn Hey everyone, I have been battling this affliction for some years now. I just wanted to know any other guys on here had or have a addiction to porn?",3.3320833333333333,5.679773875000002,4.42625,82.32708333333336,75.875,9.266666666666666,26.291666666666664,9.725611199111238,2.7990916666666674,132,5,25,4,3,43,26,32,0.07,0.93,0.0,-0.2732,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,1,0,4,4,0,0,0,5,6,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,5,4,1,3,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,2,2,19,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7625914841792514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378523591580273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3342156784859704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3463225805202428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922218303665392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20630060238888254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252373489471309
addiction,micheal_6842,2020/01/20,"Severe cocaine addiction I recently developed a cocaine addiction and feel like it’s out my hands and I don’t know what to do, please help me",2.581309523809523,5.1785183214285695,4.485714285714288,79.5259523809524,80.07142857142857,9.447619047619048,30.76190476190476,9.725611199111238,3.776604761904762,115,6,21,4,3,39,23,28,0.08900000000000001,0.653,0.258,0.5994,0,0,2,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,5,4,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,13,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6906511517727804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601682067206429,0.2263002360028851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21232395795654466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17408826520191867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15475760571462574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34771785129956073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3127717238160844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3578594364198404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,IntrepidArrival8,2020/01/20,"The other side/I will wait I am honest to a fault, I am brave, I am strong, stronger than anyone I know. However, I felt like I 

couldn’t help you and that is the most devastating thing I have ever encountered in life. I love you and 

have always loved you, I thought I was doing the right thing I couldn’t help you, so I wanted them to 

help you. This was not totally selfless, because as strong as I am, I could not handle the secret you told 

me alone. I worried every day and every night, I assumed you were lying every time you said you were 

doing something, I assumed the absolute worst. Your addiction had somehow become mine, it was all I 

could think of, we were together, and my mind was consumed with “what if’s”. What if he’s high right 

now? What if he really wasn’t at work today? What if something happens to him? It’s selfish of me to 

say your addiction became my addiction, but I could not shake the thought or the feeling. I wanted you 

to get help, I wanted the paranoia and the accusations to stop. I wanted my boyfriend back, my person, I 

wanted you back, I was selfish. I wish you would get help, I wish you would better yourself, selfishly for 

us so we can be together. I question our conversations now, I have always been insecure but now I 

wonder, was this said because he was at an all time high? Or did he react this way because his all time 

low? I feel like I have lost sight of you and I just want you back so badly, I would do anything for you to 

overcome this, I will walk besides you and hold your hand as you overcome it. I can not however stand 

by and allow you to continue it. I have been consistently honest with you and have loved you for many 

years and even though this isn’t my addiction I feel angry…that you wouldn’t get help. I’m selfish, I want 

you back, not the shell of a man that is on a rollercoaster of highs and lows. I want you, the person I fell 

in love with, I want you to get better for you. I haven’t spoken to you and I’m not sure if you will ever 

speak to me again, but even if you don’t, I want you to get better for you. I want you to be happy and 

smile so badly. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t help you, I feel gutted, I feel broken. I am so incredibly sorry 

that I couldn’t help you. I know this is going to sound stupid, but I am going to say it anyway, I am 

waiting for you, for you to call me and tell me your better or you want me to go with you on your first 

day. I am still waiting, and I will continue to wait and pray that you get help and you and I can be 

together. I will always wait for you…. I love you.",1.796388888888888,3.2385999351851886,3.5559259259259264,90.94166666666668,77.42592592592592,6.503703703703704,21.444444444444443,7.213258583274324,0.4797333333333329,1975,51,446,23,45,662,183,540,0.121,0.67,0.209,0.9936,2,1,2,0,0,0,65.0,4,46,1,9,23,32,1,2,15,0,60,12,2,2,7,104,113,41,0,31,20,0,7,2,0,9,5,6,0,3,23,24,0,7,16,0,0,6,15,14,0,1,22,14,122,18,46,72,6,44,1,3,1,5,85,13,0,15,25,333,145,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26377607418187443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626503376151558,0.0,0.0,0.15099984391831264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042296649377853095,0.0,0.04977886314883498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18605509757489566,0.10101476299533556,0.11062408823531572,0.06680745538924257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21399716964216767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061767980387029665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14489120361457455,0.0,0.0,0.07802326278205488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07990734850021118,0.10943497896494506,0.15289859689882598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15293010324053435,0.04321471678288838,0.0580807579494024,0.0,0.0,0.051453535468048775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18962401665135864,0.0,0.1031351311399636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05349191019614403,0.06439369642120536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3649120250266684,0.19173589654324952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06648844215813689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04272651726987644,0.05910560429879706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06603297181428182,0.0,0.27297703109650945,0.0,0.0,0.061328286318411085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06107857309024434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05676661941914143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10563665529643476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06776366098763098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03875202464188565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10331780988087476,0.1150814116291105,0.09620959598456057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09313771263888528,0.0,0.1354292381507539,0.0,0.0,0.048308117291603836,0.05057310771617468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057011964937258186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05287171986243052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037494282018627,0.038760131349453567,0.059432010009811416,0.0960460481507634,0.10581820478089217,0.0,0.05733830779568647,0.05780165490304556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07276311431035963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4281492578537964,0.04801486717376564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13912311783303166,0.0,0.06559980938855245,0.04403810148867136,0.06143145340244965,0.0,0.12891301648553066,0.0,0.0,0.03895416149863664
addiction,deviledlettuce,2020/01/20,"XANAX Withdrawals... My brother (almost 19) has been constantly abusing xanax for about 3-4 weeks, taking around 20mg per day. Two days ago, he was robbed by his dealer and was forced to stop because he not longer had anywhere to get it. He has not been in good shape. Constantly vomiting, always pale, and just looks like a zombie. We've been making sure that he's always on his side while he's in bed. My question is, how long is he going to be like that? Is he at risk of anything life threatening?",3.312045454545455,4.971354080808084,3.7776641414141423,90.01982954545456,73.84848484848484,6.566161616161617,23.48611111111111,7.1686216300943375,0.7746050505050506,390,11,80,4,8,122,74,99,0.153,0.779,0.068,-0.8468,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,1,0,12,4,0,2,1,12,17,4,0,0,3,1,0,2,0,0,4,0,1,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,6,1,4,4,12,10,0,17,0,0,1,0,11,7,0,2,11,40,7,0,0.0,0.24271476601980274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18158792319199546,0.0,0.2051285408951509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3409046436673799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685747994524532,0.18236069208211145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12487518000777055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.442741999866456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642237095046792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10702611696453053,0.0,0.1164214618323649,0.17181917830657334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446922172275396,0.2001595609243832,0.0,0.0,0.18128656062196466,0.17202312540962514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367395365770076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294798402084694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17126448760895388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19306950676943133,0.0,0.15402234914977125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20010951959263504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643189996740574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,dangerstation,2020/01/20,"Addiction Help I've been playing this game called addiction for 4 1/2 years now. Two years ago I went to Rehab (sent by family). Ever since then, the longest I've gone was 6 months sober. If I move somewhere, start a new job, etc. (which has happened a couple times the past 2 years) I am enthusiastic about life. I've analyzed a pattern how things fall apart- excessive caffeine use over time and tolerance, sleep gets worse, use technology compulsively, and I end up drinking alcohol like an alcoholic or use my drug of choice.

Been at this ""base"" for 5 months. 2/12 months I got a DUI. I can't drive. Rely on one coworker to get me to work. My use is the weekends occasionally weekdays. If I keep this up I'll lose my job or just commit suicide. It tears me apart how the comedown I absolutely hate myself, the day after I do the ""I'm gonna stop it for good!"". I have a plan and great ideas to change things up. But when I'm triggered to use it's inevitable.

What erks me is the back and forth I go through in my head before I use. Then the reasons I have to not use go out the fucking window. I'm not religious, barely spiritual, don't have many close friends here. It's all fucked. The stress is awful. I wish I could tell my mom I'm struggling or my college friends from back home but I don't want to let them down again. The guilt, stress. The shame is the worst. What is the point of this life when I keep fucking it up?",1.7765024630541861,3.848129689655174,3.0568719211822675,91.59353448275864,79.6896551724138,6.349753694581281,22.77093596059113,7.447530270364453,0.7717832512315277,1110,36,245,16,28,359,174,290,0.141,0.792,0.067,-0.9685,2,0,4,0,0,2,46.0,0,0,1,3,12,17,4,5,20,1,19,14,2,11,3,37,49,17,1,5,10,1,0,1,2,1,8,0,2,0,14,6,3,3,2,4,0,8,5,11,0,2,7,0,28,6,27,39,3,48,0,1,0,3,9,14,3,5,27,139,42,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19193822014354184,0.0,0.0,0.07803606153996825,0.18816129499362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13538409193449275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07490971295707037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989167235215711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09312738283308612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07028729405549182,0.09740698818468224,0.0,0.05677408853182684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08623895660592562,0.10209048659221837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07797122696993303,0.0,0.09818021474733933,0.0,0.07963100955659326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08298980384262902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13602836166904428,0.2441556410834517,0.09198735800284877,0.0,0.10006251737917306,0.07383801596707493,0.07040813911722921,0.09705684085052456,0.0,0.0,0.07784740952696746,0.0,0.0,0.08691449411786792,0.09034739288669903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059006753958790015,0.0,0.08830441103148656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937869268332493,0.0,0.0,0.17471860321540994,0.15649578848267526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09001984378580417,0.12436081177033324,0.04300854247226922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848655877118546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925178037408384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10310334238957262,0.2108016226546408,0.09356528938495533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502294923856174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059653529810103675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08403758741363783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.083219766308875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090512723492401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07282191802749989,0.0,0.08809671032338756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06231030524092353,0.0,0.0,0.07359964175884462,0.20168331477753568,0.0920313455394134,0.0,0.09629396007276048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07694483919967443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169706048351339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10266565657972997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08599558005382105,0.0,0.0,0.532226538082086,0.0,0.0,0.05192422320277988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08160759704234859,0.0,0.0,0.10123375935635658,0.0,0.0,0.06408916991014244,0.0,0.08971328427107186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17007135575329993
addiction,GarthbrooksXV,2020/01/20,HELLO HI IM DRUNK AF OLZ STOP IN AND SY HELLO PLEASANTVIRGIN#1971 IM  A GOOD PERONS,0.29312499999999986,1.4242520625000026,1.4574999999999996,91.7375,122.125,4.1000000000000005,10.25,5.985473137389443,-0.6387,67,1,12,1,4,21,14,16,0.23600000000000002,0.615,0.149,-0.1779,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3404515148021918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8768880772440192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3393524216153168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,screwston_tex,2020/01/20,"I’m a sex addict I know this might not be like a legit addiction , but I think it is . I just want to be the best person I can be for the people I care about , I don’t know why I have the urge to sleep with every woman I meet , maybe it’s cause of my parents growing up? Maybe commitment scares me? I went to a SLAA meeting before but it’s just a bunch of older people who ruined their lives cause of it. I don’t want to be like that but I just feel like I need younger people’s advice 20-30 and I just want to make strides to be better , I just feel tempted even though I’m actively trying to be better everyday , it’s hard... I feel like I’m losing though and it makes me depressed",-0.4203987366758781,1.580523959731547,1.9248795894196604,96.87305171733124,87.92617449664431,4.5797078562968805,16.147256217923413,5.900188976854957,-0.6539035925779713,526,11,124,4,17,178,80,149,0.156,0.647,0.196,0.7399,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,4,9,12,0,1,7,0,12,4,1,4,1,28,29,7,0,4,9,1,4,4,0,1,2,0,0,2,9,3,0,0,6,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,1,4,19,8,14,21,2,5,0,3,0,1,7,1,0,1,6,77,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2930033110652131,0.0,0.13132141144189613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11435343055151713,0.0,0.1410308551481846,0.23770874389656016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13701649288537573,0.27610491497657713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574731770043922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887613395628155,0.0,0.1132268352680886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20385030029732934,0.1920121852355904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038434688301378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14771115053042733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626187809606556,0.0,0.1186661743897604,0.0,0.0,0.15034466712151076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17940871891972734,0.0,0.2700195888976815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425633595534199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996462503878086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14922084893794554,0.0,0.0,0.2795010542180473,0.11734153625460565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13454482114411892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344840428310808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861097569818397,0.2640690710125404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09123994492084037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377947859190187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12457808623838265,0.12126335605478945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,fumaxin,2020/01/20,"Youtube addiction Hey everyone.

So the situation is that I m having my high school exams (class 12 in India, which is the final year of school) from Feb 27. Many are addicted to Facebook, Instagram n all, but my problem is Youtube. On average, I waste my daily 4 hours in it. I can block youtube url and app with passwords set by someone else but the thing is many times I have to study from it so if the person who has set the password is not available then it would be a problem.

The only things I watch on youtube that works as a distraction are Samsung, the biggest one(my favourite company), all tech tubers, pawn stars, some really interesting videos that are simply too good.

There is a plugin which blocks all words and phrases you don't want to see, but it can't stop them appearing on recommendations.

So is there any extension or any service that can help me. Well don't address for Youtube Android's app because I do not watch on Android, just PC.",5.6398188405797125,6.492020445652172,5.717173913043477,81.3836231884058,67.3695652173913,8.959420289855073,33.268115942028984,9.075114841892004,2.787320289855073,758,33,146,13,12,239,121,184,0.11199999999999999,0.804,0.084,-0.6555,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,1,1,8,6,0,1,10,0,21,2,0,0,3,24,24,12,0,5,8,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,13,3,0,3,0,1,0,1,5,3,1,0,0,3,12,3,16,22,4,17,0,0,3,0,6,8,0,4,6,94,25,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3678405537288915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22945901000343855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284487451068064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14093668637572898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16121092719973154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18481504002605356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415070779507041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308366324181575,0.17825280672359214,0.0,0.0,0.16614669781586652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34209366211211123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11432317868125125,0.1283125859371289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14731224542949364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3228679585926991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10808081245881533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34148979142859986,0.1344411047431795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896386288442357,0.0,0.0,0.142948581413108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14105024501412405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22416865187340715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983769463345697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099510326815416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516917672409449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12282387390141182,0.0,0.0,0.1198477041912034,0.0,0.0,0.1086445795369851
addiction,Pootislake,2020/01/20,"I'm addicted to soda I'm 16 and I've been drinking 60-100oz of soda a day for probably around 2-3 years. It's like a routine for me, I get one before school and after, since the liquor store sells them cheap and I always have spare change. One of my friends is really concerned for my health and showed me all of the symptoms I'm going to get later one, I really want to stop but I don't know how.",0.7155681818181812,2.2893712386363667,3.0477272727272755,92.80409090909092,80.93181818181819,6.218181818181819,18.954545454545453,7.1686216300943375,0.1628363636363641,311,7,73,4,8,107,61,88,0.023,0.91,0.067,0.3323,1,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,4,0,4,7,0,1,1,11,12,6,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,5,4,1,1,3,3,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,9,2,11,11,1,7,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,6,39,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392529505805699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18261528991570344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953734058624069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867514436543104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321684665617845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415389617305369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149954793529607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695607413032208,0.0,0.22932636138684426,0.0,0.124728949281612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332846462272631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206140929587988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10722117438584987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4461524028598273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366240546808846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28119415349701016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221137374990275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18154652827337864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834854094125452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281117003855516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294481484571292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14133045394427626
addiction,ssmmackkedd,2020/01/20,"Amphetamines If anyone cares to share how they’ve overcome their mental dependency on hard drugs,  that would be very helpful.",12.395714285714286,11.90954,10.019047619047623,60.634285714285724,53.76190476190475,12.20952380952381,40.04761904761904,11.20814326018867,4.613819047619048,104,4,15,2,1,31,21,21,0.054000000000000006,0.623,0.32299999999999995,0.7841,0,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,4,3,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,0,8,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780031355870674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4053679911234211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4610764538977759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3561612170258736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664952022416084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4006757114732936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3280521654894423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2824354752138677,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Sllynjck31,2020/01/20,"My brother is addicted to K2... Any insight? I don't understand his change in appearance and behavior. He's like a different person altogether and is doing things (the most horrible things) I could never possibly imagine. 

Please can anyone explain this stuff, what it's doing to him, how he's feeling? This stuff is beyond what I can imagine.",3.184193548387096,6.271794112903226,4.7518548387096775,74.79778225806453,83.67741935483872,8.261290322580646,30.330645161290327,8.841846274778883,3.6311225806451617,273,14,42,8,8,91,46,62,0.102,0.8320000000000001,0.067,-0.4793,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,9,1,0,1,1,13,13,3,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,9,2,0,0,6,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,6,1,4,12,1,4,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,2,2,35,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612939808836038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16299523683731326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16759457700256689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25355684315016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19137039882479992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25042168147336946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12119284312376985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11709885885340067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18486122915425413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092852604258766,0.0,0.2631041195171898,0.0,0.2702108428310097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5487680614136483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3184745066498777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24952240205242676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Agreeable-Recording,2020/01/20,"I have a codeine addiction and don’t know what to do. I’m 17 years old and I think I have a really bad problem with codeine.

It all started because I have a debilitating fear of pain but only in my abdomen/chest. Whenever I start to feel even slightly nauseous or sick I panic and begin to contemplate suicide because I would rather die than be ill. I had several bad experiences with abdominal pain earlier in the year which caused me to be so scared of it happening again. A few of these experiences were while using the bathroom so I have a ritual for how I use the bathroom now to prevent me from worrying that it’ll happen again. Lights off, phone out of the room, windows closed. It was the opposite when I was ill previously.

Another contributing factor is that my sister’s very ill. She has Cystic Fibrosis (she had a double lung transplant at 15, 9 years ago), Type 1 Diabetes & Gastroparesis, to name a few. For my whole life I’ve always been witness to her screaming in pain, crawling along the floor or completely unconscious while we call an ambulance. We call at least 10 ambulances a year for her, I’m so used to it that I don’t really worry about her anymore, since she always comes back, no matter how bad things get. When I was young though, seeing this was difficult. My sister had always been prescribed Co-Codamol (30/500) and prolonged release Morphine. She’s become addicted to codeine and my mother has too, as my sister shares them with us since she has so many. My mother also gets her own prescription and gives me some. I’ve always taken Co-Codamol, even for minor pain, my mother would give me it as if it was just store bought paracetamol. I didn’t take it too much (only when I felt any sort of minor pain and panicked) but some time around September I suddenly began taking it way more often.

At the point I’m at now, I take 120mg of codeine and 2g of paracetamol every night. On some days it’ll be 240mg & 4g, like tonight. If I don’t take it, I begin to feel ill and worry, and since that’s my biggest fear I come right back to it. I have to take it daily. I’ve been stealing my grandmother’s partner’s prescriptions since November, as she uses them but goes through them extremely slowly. I think I’ve stolen over 250 pills since November, I’m sure. Something like that. She hasn’t noticed and I’m putting it to bad memory that comes with age. I feel awful, however. I can’t keep doing this.

I just don’t want to rely on them daily anymore but I’m so scared of illness, I don’t know what to do. I see several therapists and have been doing so for a while now due to my mental health. My next appointment is in 35 hours and I was going to bring this to their attention for the first time. I’m hoping that’s the correct thing to do. I’ll do anything to come off of them, but I’m terrified.",4.227031802120141,5.305584839222618,5.314365724381624,82.16391607773855,70.74911660777386,8.769540636042404,28.284275618374558,9.120678840339163,2.2573994346289745,2233,80,445,44,40,738,264,566,0.22399999999999998,0.7440000000000001,0.033,-0.9991,1,0,1,0,0,1,69.0,3,0,6,1,30,23,0,5,19,1,46,18,1,7,3,72,95,41,2,8,12,6,4,2,1,4,17,1,2,1,30,27,0,2,9,0,2,7,9,18,0,1,19,8,64,5,62,69,12,65,1,0,2,0,34,21,0,10,38,286,94,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14440939703765165,0.0,0.0,0.058712332466937626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05296720464735652,0.22044755429423188,0.14352874836488855,0.0,0.045041305184467514,0.06945199132264182,0.0,0.0,0.13137240972737002,0.0,0.0,0.05450483433600972,0.05896218974378211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10185952057974174,0.22121007087245648,0.08075110895709718,0.07315010946541166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13526438031334356,0.0,0.0,0.06804043296634509,0.0,0.2282184688265255,0.06944495613265626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042715368966701486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687403036338593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08749369745973673,0.0,0.055804895003070384,0.0,0.0,0.12957887498464202,0.0,0.14906304342932894,0.10046950952485867,0.0,0.06359490534520466,0.0,0.0,0.056338498898676315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920893032322388,0.12707513336805862,0.03764223662694551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11714079105584295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07040351021392342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06578518108197398,0.06522702352462692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058871709961710324,0.0,0.0,0.0728008093365513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046782943567560686,0.0647170499053688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06715075183420692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06674816603788354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048689517933628836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07044047579309999,0.062156003402581275,0.0,0.0,0.07540770388812937,0.06950130842150065,0.0,0.0,0.10074769070285504,0.352387555790976,0.07771117957755191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06261241906531911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06337687178656375,0.0,0.06658333670949043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486223066106226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056563366008171086,0.0,0.0,0.13262332377968594,0.0,0.10555964358050296,0.0,0.0,0.14965084849268387,0.0,0.27394672269056136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05099007165590652,0.0,0.0,0.09376135302645247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244910733295103,0.0,0.06242464185621679,0.0,0.2489981495371478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690263202035531,0.08800568486432045,0.0848799833667309,0.06507444435111923,0.0,0.07724300846421214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07967119456706813,0.2288192029241546,0.0,0.0546498821469892,0.039066454605832086,0.05257336579075442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739477543296658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017911405917181,0.0,0.09410128667517366,0.0,0.0,0.17060977168829125
addiction,KohlrabiKing,2020/01/20,"Is this spoon I found in my brothers room drug related? Hi all, my apologies if this is not the appropriate place to post this. I was going to post on r/whatisthisthing but the rules mention no drug related questions...If there is a more appropriate place to post this, please let me know.

I have been increasingly concerned about my brother's use of drugs. He is a teenager and has a history of smoking pot, but lately he has been acting very out of character with many lies and stealing, and he may also be using cocaine. I came across this spoon in his room and it has this white waxy substance on it. It doesn't seem to have a smell. Please let me know if this is drug related as I am growing increasingly concerned for his safety. Thanks, I have included a link to a photo of the spoon.

[https://imgur.com/a/VHOCsgW](https://imgur.com/a/VHOCsgW)",5.570576923076924,7.5156797756410265,5.288974358974362,80.29769230769233,68.55128205128204,8.02051282051282,29.025641025641022,8.59863814320734,2.1213564102564098,679,25,125,11,12,209,90,156,0.07200000000000001,0.8270000000000001,0.1,0.5326,0,0,5,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,9,0,20,4,0,2,1,21,29,10,0,2,5,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,0,10,7,0,0,5,0,0,6,3,1,0,0,5,2,13,1,19,20,4,20,0,0,1,0,10,10,0,4,1,85,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10737960314796448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15357473456748136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6228651001257609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472255165851599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07631153007816714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14758796631718513,0.0,0.15146795573473568,0.0,0.0,0.2746104014417741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13613369123500565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805774200100714,0.2947870751998163,0.0,0.0,0.3857947623351535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12223884203292963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236223037857779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23194083363672036,0.0,0.11079086948417248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,whooaamI,2020/01/21,"Can I still say that Im an addicted if I dont use drugs now because I dont have money or a buddy who would give me stuff? I really really want drugs and I feel sad and angry because I cant have them now. and have some problems with my health because of drugs,I am also just a little girl and I cant do a lot because I can really die,and the most what im afraid to is death.(I might have something with my heart) and I feel so bad because I don't enjoy anything and I don't even want to.I would chose drugs instead of people or sex.I  hate hate all people because they always made me feel horrible .And I am feel really lonely and depressed and so so sad...I dont know what to do",2.682980132450332,2.9166005099337764,4.6778079470198675,88.4197582781457,73.70198675496688,7.629403973509934,24.37152317880795,7.554174236665415,0.935812715231788,531,14,124,6,10,184,76,151,0.22699999999999998,0.747,0.025,-0.9845,0,2,5,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,2,0,10,9,2,1,5,0,21,6,1,2,1,32,33,16,0,6,4,0,4,0,0,3,5,1,0,1,5,11,0,0,5,0,1,0,7,8,0,0,1,5,18,1,6,29,4,4,0,3,0,0,6,1,0,7,3,81,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12121112720108793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891685322005538,0.0925171667940696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914980955990526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09283717884263464,0.4066743497395376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576589969558452,0.0,0.11539539473920402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3909338633334072,0.0,0.3868276869639413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343850130002667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22487959460926954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066614809751957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21954989046497247,0.0,0.1181874449585575,0.0,0.13175809276805034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24020383413256624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06110591375528096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11143939787911622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452790179182187,0.0,0.10520859628261056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11795269784646208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541672582128676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10639172000316996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849190384070134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842101098835133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08559780995228758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879473042487235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272834434818741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960305703113622,0.0,0.0,0.13116290478765494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579692632605704,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Pssychedelicious,2020/01/21,"Any strategies for uncovering the hidden trauma behind addiction? Hello all,

For years I have been battling my addictions, and what it feels like to me is I'm trying to fight the symptoms and not the disease. I'll go weeks or months sober, and end up backsliding again and again.

I can feel it, something beneath the surface, some sort of deep psychological dissatisfaction that I am so far..  just barely aware of, that motivates me to seek out drugs, sex, and other addictive behaviors. It's a hard feeling to put words into, because I've numbed myself for so long in regards too it, but I know there is some hidden trauma lurking beneath. I have had a rather rough childhood, but I cannot pinpoint any specific experience. Maybe there is one and I've repressed it, or maybe it's the totality of my childhoods suckery. I cannot tell.

Anyways, anyone manage to become aware of and heal their trauma? What worked for you? How did you do it? I would do therapy but I do not have the money. Anyone manage to heal themselves on their own?",3.7928205128205112,6.193589743589745,4.670897435897434,80.86993589743591,74.64102564102564,7.0,27.243589743589745,7.984000788550335,1.9232051282051283,820,32,145,13,18,265,118,195,0.121,0.863,0.016,-0.9521,0,0,2,0,1,0,28.0,0,2,2,2,11,8,2,1,8,0,17,9,0,2,2,32,23,15,0,2,9,0,5,1,0,1,8,0,0,0,12,9,0,1,5,0,1,2,4,7,0,1,3,5,18,1,22,19,5,21,0,0,0,1,7,10,0,5,10,108,30,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5385176689164907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22395161875854544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23027100388424596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10037642944306804,0.18185624683888046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19095564818400595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14584166147838393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16107103630141426,0.0,0.0,0.2497741706398023,0.11763456872519508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935812116430826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14750481287916434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049393124311192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044553786922116,0.0,0.0,0.14572069213525682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3308502306596913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13143164081175487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11157923555455493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16553079420506975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12676485551635874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17114687035362364,0.0,0.0,0.14392184947140693,0.0,0.18830535227658546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11179469217648587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13208192753685874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987590019674728,0.0,0.0,0.1169711634235374,0.0,0.0,0.10603693207028453
addiction,WesLowe,2020/01/21,"Feeling alone at the moment Hey guys not to have a sob story but I just need advice and maybe some insight. I have been sober from drinking for almost 2 years but have been using cannabis a lot in that time. I decided a week ago to stop smoking pot. I just started not that long ago using cocaine occasionally maybe a 0.25 a day for several days then stop. I failed today by doing a good line and then started to watch porn. Does anyone else associate porn with there drug use? I feel my true enemy is porn because every time I want to fall and watch porn I want a substance to go with it. I always come off as a nice happy guy never in a bad mood but deep down I’m spinning, depressed, and feel dark. I have an amazing woman and family in my life that I keep this all hidden from. I’m tired of being in the dark with myself and I don’t remember how I gave up alcohol. I could use a hand right now. Thanks guys. Much love",1.6305293775450806,3.5757492984293218,3.2519982547993003,90.6469211751018,79.57591623036649,5.9198371146015125,20.558755090168702,6.937597516519254,0.3633139034322284,720,19,154,8,18,238,122,191,0.11599999999999999,0.6729999999999999,0.21100000000000002,0.9645,0,1,4,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,5,12,0,0,13,0,11,11,1,5,3,41,31,13,0,4,7,0,4,0,0,0,4,0,0,4,5,10,2,3,6,1,0,3,4,4,0,0,3,6,17,7,23,26,4,32,0,3,2,5,7,10,1,3,19,92,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739852036257507,0.21299209459469792,0.12839214188755388,0.12030193643499493,0.12442785676245573,0.0,0.0,0.09996534025421228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400403941392598,0.1230966867522017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10031111514582194,0.07323566921524613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10348918118678307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592128106442847,0.0,0.0,0.15495953789140365,0.0,0.10347561517019482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10513452014446116,0.0,0.0,0.11769056280313164,0.13932319333114668,0.0,0.1003607869892812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012223580287366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11325643427937054,0.0,0.18223778870182025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06827780883102569,0.1007669619095851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3568697378624809,0.0,0.12789028662416208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10678513602042096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485778645714254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631930689552324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10213795118877288,0.10843021192754168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413917110502913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831604855189147,0.08908160692731656,0.09265866627500076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136094160040527,0.1025981194852987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357229662791877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17007012099530264,0.0,0.0,0.2008833038249471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11060792538808252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14010812953865476,0.1380822014327839,0.11387780211542492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4150463732789849,0.0,0.0,0.1417222863624186,0.0,0.09636832479569253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736562980757808
addiction,SaneSchizophrenic,2020/01/21,"How can I support my friend who should be entering rehab today? My friend has been going downhill fast and I managed to convince her to go to rehab, she at least says she’ll be checking in today. 

She lives across the country and I can’t visit her. How can I support her recovery?

If it’s relevant, she mostly abuses alcohol but will use most drugs she’s exposed to if given the opportunity.",2.4060064935064918,4.87368198701299,4.4079058441558425,80.60328733766237,79.77922077922078,6.447402597402598,26.508116883116887,7.645422480735847,1.8448194805194809,311,13,55,5,8,106,53,77,0.053,0.7759999999999999,0.171,0.8082,0,0,2,0,1,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,6,0,0,2,0,10,4,0,3,0,11,16,7,0,3,3,0,0,0,2,3,4,1,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,2,1,14,6,7,9,3,10,0,0,0,0,13,3,0,4,3,44,16,1,0.0,0.2756672937107285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486457046800815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26981490513992545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35950930126010605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.264455186138584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20544545611401774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18502274394662616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5280458252217249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4410741333251882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2009458998846824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,TheJohnMc96,2020/01/21,"I'm addicted to junk food ...like badly addicted. I know a lot of people don't see it as a serious addiction, especially if you don't show any physical signs. I'm not overweight or mega skinny (5""7 - 10.5 stone).

​

My childhood wasn't too bad but whenever I was sad, anxious or scared I would use junk food as a comfort. I would say It was the worst been 15-18-years old. I would eat for example:

\- 2 big tubs of Ben and Jerrys

\- 6 packets of crisps

\- 6 kinder buenos 

\- a big dairy milk chocolate bar

I would normally eat just once a day and it would be like the above and it would all be finished within 1 hour.

​

Now my diet still isn't great but I'm now eating nowehere near as bad as the above. I still eat about 1500 calories of junk food a day though. 

If my junk food addiction is a 10 then my sexual cravings are a 2. 

​

I have a girlfriend but I mostly eat the junk food when she isn't at mine.  I have zero motivation to cook and I'm also on a student budget. I've tried many times to quit cold turkey but I end up just losing control and buying loads of junk food. 

​

It's not just as a comfort it's also when im bored. All I think about is food.

​

Any ideas?",0.6276248275862066,2.9223500880000017,2.40406896551724,93.181,86.12,5.368275862068966,21.020689655172415,6.8039241337230125,0.4351393103448276,942,31,204,12,29,310,134,250,0.11900000000000001,0.7829999999999999,0.098,-0.7533,1,0,0,0,0,0,56.0,0,1,0,4,15,14,0,1,15,0,21,22,1,3,2,36,29,24,0,9,13,0,0,2,1,6,5,1,0,0,6,5,18,1,4,3,2,0,7,9,0,1,4,3,19,5,21,17,5,22,0,2,1,0,4,7,0,6,17,117,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26262268448570164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09632606852146516,0.0,0.3262764228791143,0.3659083704726925,0.08191204120324999,0.0,0.0,0.06803869480263909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15085959736570126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06754903428052282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768209754319187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30813323889276395,0.0,0.0,0.053342718621059236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.509782055296254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639982404964465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059310877167443724,0.0,0.0,0.06798828037911371,0.06505485222387916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03309885709119042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058847158587995815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06737794179529343,0.0,0.05120233575211365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06106012168769929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05900908955168351,0.0,0.0,0.06319748079885766,0.06413915566978237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04175340596463432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06405819505433058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047894454508653664,0.060297137912978714,0.0,0.04799264718769919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09619376954426542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038590648441424784,0.05917213705438601,0.0,0.035118501040714976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04088977558022469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0520162767854297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566986604799957,0.0,0.3659083704726925,0.038783830172586964
addiction,CD74AZ,2020/01/21,How long How long does it take for you to stop feeling withdrawal symptoms if you stop cold turkey?,7.90157894736842,7.3992381052631595,6.725263157894743,80.68684210526318,62.68421052631579,9.705263157894738,34.78947368421053,8.841846274778883,2.786536842105264,80,3,15,1,1,24,15,19,0.2,0.682,0.11800000000000001,-0.4215,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,6,2,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,8,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984841091835681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17246185789882654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6036955999631589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5703214691963411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35451592723717784,0.2564520341681648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,wildchildbrenton,2020/01/21,"It Gets Better I know it seems hopeless most of the time. Trust me, life’s not better when your fucked up. It seems that way. But it isn’t. I use to just get by barely breathing and existing.  Emotionless and numb isn’t any kind of a way to live. Without our emotions and feelings that’s not even life. It took 5 years of being sober to not miss the drugs like they were my best friend. I felt like for some reason I had lost a loved one. 6 years later I can finally feel again. I can love again, I can laugh again, I can cry again. It’s beautiful. I’m 11 years sober. And I promise there isn’t a day where it’s not a struggle. Weather it’s missing the people, or the good times, the alone times, dealing with my conscience over things that I’ve  done, said or even getting an urge. It’s a struggle.  I don’t have any close friends anymore. I’ve had to bury them all. I’ve literally asked the parents permission. Grabbed a shovel from my truck and when everyone left the graveside service, buried 6 of my best friends. Talking to them last time. Crying apologies, making promises saying the things drugs never let us say. It’s hard to see their parents knowing you’ve used numerous times with their children who are now dead.  And I ask god daily “why did I make it”? I’ve yet to get and answer. I promise getting clean is living hell. It’s the hardest process you will ever take on. But I promise it’s worth it to feel again, to love again and to just exist again. I don’t want to bury anymore people. I don’t want to see parents grow old alone. I don’t want to see moms and young wives, and children grieve over the plague anymore. If anyone needs anything that I can do I’m always here. If you need talk I’ll do my best to listen and understand. I am an old addict. Beat by life and kicked by many but I have one thing to ask. Please try to get clean, be clean, stay clean. If you don’t have anyone to do it for do it for me. I love y’all all like family and I’ll be proud of you for just trying. I know it’s not much but know when you feel beat down and broken I’ll be in your corner. Whoever needed to hear this wherever you are. It gets better.",1.1261706349206335,3.1717033035714306,2.3315059523809545,96.07877182539684,81.8125,5.053650793650794,20.446626984126986,6.079149491110277,-0.07589986111111102,1672,47,376,12,45,533,207,448,0.079,0.74,0.18100000000000002,0.9902,3,2,2,0,0,1,54.0,2,9,5,10,21,35,2,2,18,0,35,13,1,5,4,65,85,26,2,9,18,5,7,3,3,1,7,5,4,2,27,17,0,0,14,0,1,2,15,10,0,2,9,15,45,25,40,70,8,44,1,5,3,5,43,10,2,9,32,225,72,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07537695712241607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14322426555992748,0.0,0.0,0.05753318755096445,0.0,0.0,0.0940403214547616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20571623519430515,0.09669391695861028,0.0,0.056899462846432575,0.0,0.19392038126719974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21768648312120364,0.18345623874871314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15190245348186496,0.044592036267996585,0.07128423032527212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07075812217033517,0.0,0.0,0.16036973198382887,0.0,0.0,0.07777747790342339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09133766662268816,0.06254453321983662,0.0,0.06606987198129957,0.0,0.0,0.06518262888095296,0.0,0.13984474818428289,0.0,0.06638889922322402,0.07574366233631119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16026100446214414,0.06392233666082782,0.2528735024405121,0.0,0.0,0.057994545947046484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06193927106299059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07793009724124482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720026362715948,0.15199851523256944,0.05636143231500211,0.0,0.0,0.0751249500957712,0.07070422868498673,0.14651495001116907,0.1013405165288731,0.0,0.1221104991112857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547863467979164,0.0,0.24961994639958066,0.0,0.09230805798225293,0.07010096912772665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08098039267702455,0.0,0.0,0.050828654933547816,0.1538077733439607,0.05332796758821827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14510959126775844,0.0,0.09370726800184402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303280496989875,0.0,0.0,0.09587122139960982,0.0,0.0,0.07589913808390643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109135087964785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657715955236599,0.10997186327510397,0.0,0.0,0.1652959895528933,0.12589185254320046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07369809983588696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14456824245748914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051987538833997066,0.11115034807857108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378082217077018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20159155347401972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682131521920095,0.09388821431603687,0.0,0.0,0.07198114299068514,0.08317148800514403,0.11943610042982493,0.0,0.0,0.1223484288760315,0.10976627339445427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062391532413964876,0.0,0.0,0.06665216385699786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335790368461328
addiction,beebopshoestop,2020/01/21,"Drugs lead to success I am about 6 years clean. Part of my getting sober was having a change in scenery by going to graduate school.

Shortly thereafter I met my now wife in grad school. The issue is that my now brother-in-law, who is an open and avid drug enthusiast, got the same graduate degree as me, in a much more prestigious school. He attributes his success to love of drugs.

Around the holidays, I can't help but think I might have a better career if I hadn't gotten clean.

Adjusting family Dynamics aside, has anyone else had to deal with interacting with others who are ""successful"" addicts?",6.523463969658664,7.186611637168141,6.578280657395703,76.65176991150445,65.3716814159292,9.996965865992417,32.072060682680146,9.957137785484203,3.1138202275600504,477,18,86,10,7,152,84,113,0.013999999999999999,0.774,0.212,0.9624,0,0,3,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,5,4,6,0,0,7,0,12,5,0,2,0,13,19,4,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,0,4,5,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,6,0,10,6,15,12,4,11,0,0,0,1,10,6,0,2,3,57,14,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18008520466221814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11550707596754675,0.1692601742397016,0.0,0.14705716144736852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461001503327148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17475272808730735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17030715615737835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5747157442100627,0.0,0.13799790019397484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15572964882867335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630674067880344,0.0,0.0938832240278615,0.0,0.13212026383624645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11072566323867092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17241900556076967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14909350566557972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17524410689541256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143616664635964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17888836932023833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5015536624991278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10584926943734838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637914250084964
addiction,joh_robe,2020/01/21,"Cocaine / Meth addict. Looking for ideas. Maybe something out of the box.  I'm addicted to meth / cocaine and sex. I have a very good job and education, but have been homeless multiple times living in shelters and have also been fired from 3 jobs. This has been going on for like 6 years now and I can't seem to wiggle out of this. It started while I was working in Korea. Prior to that I didn't smoke or drink. But in Seoul its just like a constant party and I loved the lifestyle. When I came back to Canada, all my friends had gotten married or moved etc. So I ended up continuing the party, but now alone. I feel like I'm spiraling downward right now, so I'm looking for ideas. I've been to rehab three times.",1.3188199300699317,3.70913183916084,2.8312893356643367,90.68231861888115,83.75524475524475,4.9736013986013985,22.22421328671329,6.322622252153567,0.4580912587412586,555,19,112,5,16,181,92,143,0.049,0.762,0.18899999999999997,0.9684,2,1,7,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,9,6,0,0,5,0,12,6,0,0,1,19,24,15,0,0,6,0,2,3,1,0,3,0,0,0,5,8,1,0,4,1,0,3,2,0,0,1,9,4,9,6,18,15,2,26,0,0,2,2,2,9,0,3,17,72,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3523660067973462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16738325762431855,0.0,0.12924257545331802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242711113585554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18484324432369864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17464720882485754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15832009251140328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14314194365217092,0.0,0.18024221643377533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171684253791339,0.11545700067675813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248624963195458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09184890235155077,0.13555406951621832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36488483716662296,0.0,0.0,0.3207537117004753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368691606777539,0.0,0.14270803240967794,0.0,0.2714299408249629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14586285233519736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16236288243814534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17176999646427193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380173854345463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147127222504236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12441827404776,0.0,0.0,0.1143911484833404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884767266111608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13334839102651594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11765684220320916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10407405127994523
addiction,arose2019,2020/01/21,"Not sure what to do Hi everyone! This is actually my first post on reddit and I felt I needed to get this off my chest. I’ve struggled with an addictive personality for as long as I can remember. It started when I would steal my dads painkillers in high school, then I began drinking around the age of 16. I now drink probably 5 days/week, smoke cigarettes off and on (more on than not), recently discovered a love for cocaine and last but not least have been stealing my husbands ADD meds. Oh! I almost forgot I struggle with binge eating disorder so safe to say I’m addicted to food as well. I’m an all or nothing kind of person to top it off. Can anyone provide advice or share similar stories to know I’m not alone. Thanks guys.",3.903460815047023,5.3523956344827575,5.094357366771163,82.01683385579939,71.9655172413793,8.58307210031348,29.043887147335425,9.095868883498916,2.416793103448276,577,23,114,12,11,191,105,145,0.13,0.757,0.113,-0.3888,0,1,5,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,5,11,0,2,4,0,7,8,1,0,2,24,19,12,0,2,7,2,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,3,5,7,4,2,3,2,0,0,4,4,1,1,4,2,12,7,24,14,3,21,0,0,0,1,9,10,0,3,10,71,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.14300005097522395,0.31949632605090483,0.0,0.1431953391071641,0.0,0.0,0.14673674361358652,0.1517692820015936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024628493876944,0.0,0.0,0.1304499803024804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679453624700912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28710310825484364,0.0,0.1499450635091864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14002343797452976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14069955993272634,0.0,0.0,0.12464523626988715,0.1771944568337545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07656011112080838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450957614925026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15482555221038585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15259688526158954,0.08053350956965813,0.11944811281228282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12968161061590708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13225635994792045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16277079871885314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10865614722206192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14060726279193794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25590284007521985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14034299660840907,0.0,0.1579928605736298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14468869905645707,0.0,0.16599910575806906,0.0,0.0,0.11653298178482488,0.0,0.14830438438517113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037204241276036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3063868859404265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13811042866486534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134912598003539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11754402786074294,0.0,0.13175535387370824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10409646458651907,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Ellerret,2020/01/21,"I’m addicted to heroin. My addictive personality has finally lead to heroin. Or fentanyl. I don’t even know what I’m addicted to. I don’t know how I got here, it’s been about 9 months. I know I need to tell someone close because I can’t see myself stopping with my own will. I’m too embarrassed though. I am the last person my friends and family would expect to be addicted to heroin.  I don’t know what to do.  I just always throw away opportunities other people would kill for

PS. I am on the road right now for work and going through withdrawals. I always feel like this when I go through withdrawals. Miserable but certain that I won’t touch it again. I know this is a lie my brain is telling me just so I’ll shut up until I get more heroin",2.07389355742297,4.012076823529416,3.865606909430444,86.81308823529415,78.15032679738563,6.9858076563958935,24.00046685340803,7.957251820313856,1.2835643323996262,586,20,123,10,14,197,95,153,0.132,0.809,0.059000000000000004,-0.8537,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,3,12,7,1,2,3,0,16,5,1,2,1,22,31,9,1,4,4,0,2,1,1,4,4,0,0,2,8,4,0,1,6,0,0,4,5,3,0,0,2,3,21,4,17,24,2,19,0,1,1,0,5,7,0,1,9,82,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.592725935474409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262058174926561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277087444147209,0.0,0.0,0.08286039132327383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517404998324767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897791015314191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12814073476526164,0.0,0.0687292346635982,0.09710692492048344,0.0,0.14890237954828694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050175648459148,0.0,0.07101672192135887,0.0,0.15450192560694706,0.0,0.10871396559805027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503840912492447,0.0,0.3735121181730541,0.11079938740208332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06640751006027386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084963596568145,0.0,0.0,0.10078882174216376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09423529676461764,0.2373740132616983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116081691075939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831694434899823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151712756843988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11364181787105206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23761396641298155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13354847985909765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895713620861582,0.0,0.0,0.19311857232997576,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Forev3rL0st,2020/01/21,"if you feel like you need medication to function, should I still want to stop taking it? I'm definitely addicted to benzo's. I've gone through the withdrawals before and it was horrid, If I was to get off them it would be a slow taper, but what I'm trying to say is if I feel like the medication helps me too much and I'm worse when I'm off it then why should I get off it? 

I have terrible social anxiety and I stay inside most of the time, I can't really remember the last time I was sober all the time, cos I guess I'm always not really being me when I'm on the pill, so I'm not really sober all day.....  

I'm not even sure I can make the decision myself.. hence me posting it on here for advice..  what do you guys think?",0.9171428571428564,2.4586542038216592,3.589940855323025,89.2983598726115,80.21019108280254,7.288262056414922,18.85759781619653,8.192908349453996,0.6186272975432208,558,12,131,11,14,197,89,157,0.113,0.813,0.075,-0.7772,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,3,1,0,7,4,0,0,8,0,13,4,0,2,3,28,32,11,0,8,7,0,2,2,0,3,4,1,0,1,8,3,0,1,5,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,4,3,18,3,13,23,4,19,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,5,13,82,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17888196392233127,0.0,0.1603465291800101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13653575273825622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12552815057631633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396282257967966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105824264170819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10837968133294897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16593733784451922,0.2344513901026615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714601629969301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807632742476903,0.16247457423626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10998584883132048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337549841075352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16033185130346492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953113078646227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3306061645198469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062478992455368,0.12167041322546908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15715254798928344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3153601384996313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18588161193830452,0.0,0.0,0.1304906939059664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672687571431611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748977584035026,0.13104222467962154,0.13718631392909825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15465257471405078,0.0,0.12337501275105565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514203669430784,0.0,0.0,0.28704602339164137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11140611671772327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678434044775916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14806540720671754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16722139517944987,0.1165645956106618,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,touet-touet,2020/01/21,"In the grey? Hello all, 
I work with parents that have struggled with addiction, the families and children impacted by the parents addiction. 

I have a few clients who talk about experiencing ""the grey"" which they said is; after stopping Methamphetamine and ampethatamines use for one to two years they felt no positive or negative emotion, they just felt nothing. 

I was wondering if anyone else has heard of this term before.

Thank you",7.0773423423423445,9.689790878378384,5.963243243243241,74.27612612612613,65.89189189189189,9.257657657657658,36.65765765765766,9.725611199111238,4.0918630630630615,351,18,53,8,6,105,60,74,0.12300000000000001,0.7709999999999999,0.106,-0.34,2,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,3,1,2,2,0,1,5,0,5,2,0,1,1,13,12,4,0,1,3,2,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,4,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,5,7,7,1,9,7,3,5,0,0,2,0,12,1,0,3,4,41,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4129306558990482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324273494030878,0.19405457238278792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16115871493149975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158212784738958,0.21304060412438225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17854200225490216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36369220445102257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18172681347075648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283369782878981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4205949946555007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18015524316671466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15834026345918098,0.0,0.1979937286510292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15222618386197306,0.0,0.17436678622016416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185008547278843,0.0,0.0,0.1635739527413394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20538763723498385,0.13787969351403362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121962293263479
addiction,AGNotForMe,2020/01/21,"I’m currently taking a class on drug misuse and alcoholism and was wondering if any sponsors would consider anonymously answer some questions. 1. What is one of your favorite memories as a sponsor?
2. What qualifications or skills does a sponsor need to do their role well?
3. What personality traits or qualities does a sponsor need to do their role well?
4. What word of advice would you offer someone dealing with an addiction?
5. How long have you been someone’s sponsor?",3.600930481283424,6.794996023529414,4.637754010695186,75.5753475935829,82.88235294117645,7.7967914438502675,31.256684491978607,8.575989854853784,3.437000000000001,382,20,60,10,11,124,63,85,0.0,0.903,0.09699999999999999,0.7998,1,0,2,0,0,0,11.0,0,3,2,1,3,2,0,0,5,0,8,3,0,1,0,16,13,7,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,4,3,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,5,2,7,9,1,3,0,0,0,0,11,1,0,6,2,39,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22005036694858005,0.0,0.19724913463222324,0.0,0.21572025612148124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13726746232588846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081023384274873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3532871292486899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340862494168817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786342043755868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2993439750994088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367813155157368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17625089639611033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261223806951635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34206003091129783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15176888844949865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3629815006101841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189017661663236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867822051470318,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,snipershot1231,2020/01/21,"Addicted too young I’m 16 and I’m already hooked, I abuse/have abused weed, pills and nicotine. I quit nicotine and I quit the pills some how but I’m still hooked to weed. It is a struggle to push on day by day without wanting to get more high. I was born with mental illness OCD and ADHD and I take meds for them, the OCD isn’t sorting. Sorting is a bullshit misconception. I struggle with so many inner demons but that’s a different story. I got proscribed KP (clonazepam) when I was in the 7th grade in January, so about 3 years ago now. I took them every day for a couple months and created a dependency, I remember little of it as I was in such a shit mindset that I basically put myself in a depression coma. In 9th grade I used them again heavy and got hooked and it was so so so hard to beat. Every night I think about how much I want one and how I could do it rn but I shouldn’t. Nicotine was on and off for over a year but weed is the most recent. It makes me feel better and makes me want to eat again and makes me actually happy but I feel like a disappointment to my parents and like a failure and shit child. It’s the only medicine that’s done anything for me without making me miserable while I’m on it. I don’t know what to do and I am very addicted but it helps me. Please don’t report me because of my age as I am just looking for help and this is my cry for it. Please",1.5739481946624814,3.242084955782314,3.3492517006802736,91.1903453689168,78.6938775510204,6.291784406070121,23.212454212454208,7.1686216300943375,0.7014284667713238,1083,35,244,13,26,362,144,294,0.154,0.726,0.11900000000000001,-0.9425,2,0,0,0,2,0,23.0,0,0,3,4,19,11,2,3,15,0,19,9,2,9,0,50,41,34,0,5,9,1,3,2,0,1,6,0,0,1,14,18,1,0,5,0,0,3,6,7,0,1,9,4,35,4,34,30,4,34,1,3,1,0,7,13,2,5,20,161,49,3,0.0,0.12712700433867474,0.10470442138176522,0.2339347274677249,0.1289477134010254,0.0,0.09511052449769904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11840267666659572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08829462505645315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06540602292546724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489368911561616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566630953969788,0.1187198527598843,0.11785849553215495,0.2075891542287225,0.0,0.09241300763098163,0.0,0.0,0.11210041580249458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10980001487167207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10978954907157024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18080129370673212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850312981310964,0.07665155397095973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0560571977503474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17162719153674386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421749959435265,0.09611522571903604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14383512461229933,0.11336303552863357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05896651409442406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048378134850898,0.10753775570773023,0.0,0.0,0.09010075888220813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28648092482804016,0.1087802674329585,0.0,0.0,0.11918053302413235,0.0,0.10812810212739507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564182806423863,0.0,0.07887415460483245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068906881921767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07270585414503726,0.08160266593118623,0.0,0.0,0.11913837595177025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23555533229947334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786108831245422,0.0,0.2282428333478567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10594084695684122,0.0,0.1215442945632268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.220273506809624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568590830795518,0.0,0.0,0.22433601521520724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067247069351483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875028974459363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920866883980108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09266841177497558,0.0,0.08852959397694819,0.1898560744415292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20685706059609585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381888965052084
addiction,squidny03,2020/01/21,"never ending urge to self-harm? while it’s not addiction to a substance, it is definitely a “biological” addiction 

i have a never ending urge to relapse

i’ve been clean for about half a year, although i still keep my razors in my desk drawer. i’ve made a new years resolution to get rid of them but i haven’t had the guts to. 

it feels like whenever i am at a deep low or period of server emotional distress i always really want to use them.  i still haven’t understood that it’s a terrible act and i have completely rationalized it in my head. 

all i can think about is the emotional release and how easy i can just let go my pain with my blades. 

will this ever end? 

i feel as if i could go back at any second",1.6346938775510191,3.620796244897964,4.1580612244897965,83.95301020408164,79.74829931972789,8.009523809523811,22.064625850340143,8.841846274778883,1.5984911564625848,556,17,118,14,14,195,94,147,0.11,0.772,0.11699999999999999,-0.5748,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,2,0,8,5,0,1,9,0,14,5,2,3,4,22,25,9,0,3,5,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,1,0,7,3,0,1,4,0,0,3,5,4,0,2,4,2,18,1,17,18,1,23,0,1,0,0,2,6,0,2,15,84,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3449309208369322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163820959506786,0.0,0.0,0.10758398824229527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12164893334613885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16587364228154816,0.0,0.0,0.12631283672197158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3559158938988762,0.42036474701199894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431043667748341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599851586177543,0.11302080448244993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826549399008449,0.0,0.17982169593449268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16236270921090834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14061877928236904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16177407286267886,0.0,0.07729037055631614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14969623182992806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24403299985554794,0.15279418633348008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683399648552868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134938572787064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650410344624864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526834692338666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137058745448692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366372618210279,0.0,0.0,0.09331268212075217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20375608118105207
addiction,redditertrrr,2020/01/21,Help or tips... I’m gonna keep it short but basically i’ve found myself to have an unhealthy addiction to LSD. I am a pretty young adult but i feel that the only time i find happiness or a peaceful state of mind is when i’m tripping. can some one please help me or give me tips on how to quit?,0.6827083333333306,2.3723576875000028,2.7668750000000024,94.22395833333336,81.5,6.1416666666666675,20.041666666666664,7.1686216300943375,0.2212791666666667,228,6,55,3,6,77,49,64,0.062,0.645,0.293,0.9535,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,4,0,4,1,0,1,0,12,11,7,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,6,1,5,9,1,7,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,4,3,30,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2924989525252566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356662696453443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24523169356447155,0.0,0.0,0.2941895229543212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573886752845684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856223986326384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3596868557383535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384874371116065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709179550274985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18181470028054325,0.20406285604973706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945252665354721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27296908095425176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853821251693189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564544934689452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Silverpenguin24,2020/01/21,"Why do many addicts LOVE sugar- from a methadone patient I don't want to generalize, but I noticed many addicts I love sugar. It could become and addiction in itself. In my methadone clinic they even serve candy and people eat it up so fast. After that, they sell it. As an addict of most things, particularly of opioids at this point in my life, I find myself so addicted to sugar. I take methadone and I often find myself misusing my take homes. It is something that my counselor and I are working on. I have gained about 60 pounds from starting methadone about a year ago. I attribute this to being on methadone and increasing my sugar intake. What is up with addicts and sugar?",3.810442708333333,6.276946242187503,4.334062500000002,82.98802083333338,74.859375,6.1416666666666675,27.854166666666664,7.1686216300943375,1.6433104166666668,541,22,94,6,12,171,78,128,0.009000000000000001,0.894,0.09699999999999999,0.9194,0,0,7,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,2,2,6,2,0,0,3,0,8,16,0,1,0,16,14,10,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,1,0,11,7,6,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,5,18,2,20,12,2,15,0,0,0,2,4,9,0,2,5,72,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7949580544883341,0.0,0.0,0.10773500559251416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342278039590241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09703721418940002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12436244827470573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08027388445555766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22216479561359367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121911280869144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08584500862273976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21938334398073,0.0,0.0,0.2464383995806583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837040803448108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08425828723036156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148915233773344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356493643146037,0.0,0.0,0.08602434504160511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18276103779741049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08074362363622459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07168553059630385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10966802304449748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848020956506608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07826568939892747
addiction,throw-away716362,2020/01/21,Help I guess So a while back my mom bouts those vitamin gummies and they taste great and each passing day I have been taking more and more to the point where I can’t stop. I just need some tips to try to make myself stop.,3.8403546099290766,4.0786052340425565,3.826382978723405,95.53333333333336,71.12765957446808,7.117730496453903,22.04964539007092,6.42735559955562,0.06191347517730472,174,3,42,1,3,53,38,47,0.08900000000000001,0.7290000000000001,0.182,0.6808,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,1,0,11,7,5,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,7,1,3,6,4,8,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,5,28,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321777433298148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19473011291909814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3328963981129975,0.332627427950357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20238795828387893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20155121921543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3536353647421891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22388904370801416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2854364536621957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5048805510094841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270257237567741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20500143193343967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,str8shooters,2020/01/22,"My friend was sucked into phenibut again and did it since Monday and plans to take it for a week or two.What can I tell him to help out? My friend is stressing at work due to socializing issues and feels like he’s not a fit at work because he’s not social, and he’s stressed out. So he says he’s started to take phenibut as a last resort, especially since it helps his adhd medication by countering the anxiety from it. He started phenibut and said it felt just right. Almost as if he were meant to take it. He felt a quietness that wasn’t there was for a long time. He was addicted to it for months a while back. Now he doesn’t want to stop. After year off it he’s just back like that.",1.7382532051282027,3.536731062500003,2.824444444444445,94.54192307692308,78.65277777777777,6.097435897435898,21.493589743589745,7.010146845296331,0.2958115384615385,539,15,125,6,13,172,84,144,0.094,0.7829999999999999,0.12300000000000001,0.6546,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,8,7,1,2,7,0,9,2,0,0,0,21,21,11,0,2,6,0,3,2,2,0,2,3,0,0,10,8,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,10,6,5,4,21,11,0,25,0,0,0,0,22,8,1,3,19,70,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15649863711104411,0.1725279664485058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14375189019219056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982093472985954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22077339112990954,0.0,0.08751119218160155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07258687977558656,0.10255735741974316,0.27567502442061936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22182401393253634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924468522838505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14983651451497113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170183525530125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402696821093568,0.0,0.0,0.12704368510654485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446188677532923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11458606011030024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12259714218436828,0.13655585809009232,0.11416251982131095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375041492953923,0.0,0.0,0.2926771592862081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032211789998885,0.0,0.0,0.12002032339891767,0.32888878376716624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3238116508629329,0.0,0.12547539993308274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370941087617899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402346136786297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08467380971030772,0.0,0.11515299964869047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209022835306372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244618873411152
addiction,elsewhat999,2020/01/22,"I've relapsed. I had almost 6 months clean. Me and my fiance got $20 just to make our sex better. 
I've done a lot of fucked up shit but nothing like what I've done in the past 24 hours to feed my addiction. I don't even know how much money we've blown through. We pawned my fiance's 3ds, something I bought her months ago for her birthday and only just gave her. 
She's trying to get more now. 
I hope my next hit kills me.",0.9941129032258048,2.391592645161289,2.393212365591399,98.60981854838712,79.53763440860214,5.0801075268817195,18.076612903225808,5.148860815047168,-0.7345258064516131,328,6,81,1,8,106,69,93,0.134,0.78,0.086,-0.6691,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,2,0,0,1,5,6,3,0,2,0,4,5,1,2,0,12,13,4,1,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,2,0,1,3,0,0,6,0,16,3,8,6,3,9,0,0,0,2,7,2,2,3,8,42,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22355904484800812,0.0,0.0,0.18178419460729467,0.0,0.20535025646043767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18136975839739605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4197202649597157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354483007031702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895860097554629,0.1071417973857907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16401502857327668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20368303655481448,0.20195487795911488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268820835255547,0.0,0.11270235686392299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001879528549855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743451110804978,0.0,0.0,0.13688733309287476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3273734599104364,0.0,0.15075171486955247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2180966863650684,0.0,0.0,0.1967723745496228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15596670276450514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19576468677758552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21050373888791168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15787465289608313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392306104960576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Cascadiandoper,2020/01/22,"Why am I so fucking CRAZY!?!? So I had about a year and a half off of heroin and meth. Until last week. And Jesus fucking Christ, the destruction and havoc I can cause in one week is fucking INSANE!! Goddamn I'm told old for this shit, I've already endured so much trauma in my life and this absolutely has to be the stop of this fucked up disease. Or I will die an early death, that is absolutely assured. No doubt in my mind whatsoever, I simply cannot control myself when it comes to those two drugs. 

Thanks for listening if anybody reads this. 

Fuck.",1.3862526464361338,3.9201238990825718,2.944220183486241,88.88791813690901,85.23853211009174,5.188708539167255,22.14608327452364,6.67199483983844,0.6493847565278763,431,15,85,5,13,141,80,109,0.38299999999999995,0.5770000000000001,0.04,-0.9942,0,0,2,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,5,11,7,1,5,0,9,8,1,2,1,14,19,12,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,7,6,0,2,0,1,0,1,2,9,0,3,2,1,8,2,13,15,1,15,2,0,0,5,2,5,6,3,9,58,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17106122760604128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15924154231391613,0.0,0.13353038544901724,0.0,0.0,0.1738607966189514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608795166720505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17976642093552406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7165373126963495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12635667392758854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094906037909571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15651942338524932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395274239520499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16266056906706133,0.0,0.10504114446007863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15505542682935175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15911910754367467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295982086359526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14271558380706426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481220211672379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15142564364785865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486849235345643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398755530734712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09982359750307153
addiction,SchemaBoy907,2020/01/22,"A little confession (long) For the first time in a VERY long time I'm speaking my mind and coming clean about certain aspects of my life. I feel like this platform is the only way I can do it given the anonymity that comes with reddit. 

I live in a state where most of the calendar year is snow and the temperature is below zero. Up until this last summer of 2019 I was 3 years clean off heroin. My whole life I've been involved with some sort of debauchery or shenanigans. When I was 7 my brothers convinced me to smoke my first of many cigarettes. At 9 they handed me my first joint. At 10 I was breaking into cars and attempting to sell what I had stolen for lunch money at school, sounds like a joke, but I loved those extra slices of pizza and chocolate milk. 

At 13 after being placed into the system I started smoking weed regularly and all around not doing much. At 16 I found out the vicodin they gave me when I broke my wrist did a lot more than just make me groggy and tired. It was then I thought I found true love. 

At 17 I started smoking them. At 20 I moved to OxyContin 30, smoking two, maybe 3, one after another. I love smelling that sweet, toasted marshmallow scented smoke. At 21 I found heroin. After moving to another state with a little more freedom to experiment without feeling judged by my small community, I went all out. I think I can name more drugs I haven't tried than I have tried. I was stealing from stores like Walmart, fred meyer. Bringing product to my dealer for half price, usually getting weed, heroin and meth all at once. It caught up with me. Got stopped at Walmart with 354 dollars worth of merch and got into some legal trouble. 

I confided in a buddy of mine about my condition and he reminded me that he owed me 300 dollars and he could fly me back home and help me out. I had him book me a flight for a week later so I could hitchhike to the nearest airport and not be withdrawing the entire time. This is what convinced me to never do this drug again. It felt like my veins were itchy, the sweats, borderline convulsions because you're shivering from the bone aching cold and there's fire in your muscles, you cant move too much or you'll gag but nothing will come out because you haven't eaten anything real in probably a week. The single worst thing I've ever been through in my life.

I left the day before my flight and spent about ten hours hitchhiking going from city to city and eventually getting to the airport and finally making it home. 

After all that I vowed to never do heroin again... until about July of 2019, I relapsed hard. My wife doesn't know about it still but I did a half gram of tar in about ten minutes with the same buddy who flew me home to get away from it. I ruined three years of sobriety to try and have a good time with someone who isn't active in my life today. I still feel like shit about this and pretend to be excited when my wife brings up how long I've been sober and how proud of me she is. 

This is the first time I told a soul about this relapse and I hope there aren't anymore.

Now at 25, I have a daughter, my own place, a woman that makes me feel better than any drug possibly could. But that doesn't always fix an addiction. It still lurks over me like a vulture every day of my life but I always tell myself it isn't worth it.

Good luck to everyone and what ever you guys are struggling with. It takes time, you're not perfect.",4.416697448056404,5.369220533724345,4.897008173706869,85.79849098396458,70.20234604105572,7.5637861109377935,27.120608972359143,7.69321558396912,1.439125937480502,2692,86,542,30,47,857,334,682,0.12,0.755,0.125,0.4164,2,0,7,0,0,0,60.0,0,5,3,8,29,30,1,1,33,0,45,24,6,5,11,95,87,37,0,4,12,4,8,6,0,2,11,2,5,2,31,40,4,1,12,3,10,13,14,7,0,12,28,14,81,23,98,51,19,112,2,2,0,3,32,43,1,9,57,372,112,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293978640124857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11134592244510627,0.0,0.0,0.04549985315058047,0.14031810993280616,0.0,0.0,0.0663549305038183,0.0,0.0,0.05505972680250778,0.0595624608077277,0.0,0.0,0.06286243257923757,0.05144825632145555,0.0,0.08157320451187723,0.0,0.05693392861912917,0.0,0.0,0.05917484325515088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729064040550627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16026219930439914,0.0,0.0,0.08630047496616555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23277672201191846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210445490977244,0.056373022880315586,0.06393362817826839,0.0,0.06544903349350333,0.0,0.0,0.13532313390327316,0.09559842669766833,0.06424234028035494,0.07329463489865203,0.0,0.2276482367565048,0.0,0.22008408010200184,0.0,0.0,0.10487027918658226,0.0,0.03802545756103117,0.11223880494260467,0.10702515891372644,0.0,0.0,0.06624961220557783,0.0,0.0,0.0599365823940912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044847139113475695,0.0,0.2013430636412434,0.06645491436039405,0.06589107441858577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03677098299539044,0.05453909246625891,0.0,0.0,0.07269592754309333,0.0,0.2362961123748649,0.19612772687025856,0.13411913684296695,0.059081144042880826,0.17763488730046442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056882937440349175,0.18116171971137404,0.0,0.13398517841609678,0.06783438745600838,0.06721825451988264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06755818303404873,0.0,0.0,0.21333840286335326,0.09837041386254657,0.0,0.10320741811798596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642001981135403,0.0,0.0,0.07125502237054568,0.04533871074948465,0.05088668182977965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13980960368961373,0.0,0.0,0.07542891379566387,0.0,0.0,0.07213832876016678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07615615083120453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06771464481691439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868027979627182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05669107926755845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094715900803303,0.0,0.16029886414640587,0.05593822996882855,0.0,0.06994695148099381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05030662052223761,0.0,0.058480693753494836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044450818213896987,0.042872056690996925,0.0,0.05311761696756735,0.2340881682471329,0.07690110418614036,0.06342112621393778,0.06393362817826839,0.0,0.1362787758867323,0.0,0.06535956450868685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07368990167665987,0.05520625128869554,0.0,0.053108594729088486,0.10733940375313084,0.0,0.0,0.06202454823782895,0.0,0.07470058758366713,0.0,0.0644970927522978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292600124387873
addiction,briskgf,2020/01/22,"I don’t know what I should do Hello

I’m 18 years old and I’ve been using drugs for about a year now. I’ve mostly been using weed, alcohol, adderall, gabapentin, lsd, and mdma. I did molly a few days ago and I had a pretty bad comedown and it made me realize that I need to stop using drugs so much. I’m not addicted to any single drug I’m more addicted to just the feeling of being high and it’s pretty much all I think about and all I look forward to. Idk if I should ask for help or what and idk if I’ll be able to do it. I also did a combination of drugs last night just to feel good again because of the molly comedown and I feel really bad about myself now",0.13195402298850567,2.022051620689659,2.6655172413793125,93.16954022988509,84.51724137931033,5.52183908045977,17.942528735632184,6.742157984588678,-0.06831954022988462,515,12,119,6,15,178,82,145,0.111,0.792,0.096,-0.0258,0,0,5,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,0,6,0,12,7,0,4,2,31,27,13,0,5,6,0,3,0,0,2,7,0,0,0,6,8,1,1,6,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,6,4,12,1,14,17,8,13,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,4,12,77,18,0,0.12844400915960014,0.0,0.0,0.28004585806357674,0.0,0.0,0.11385786425194068,0.1372675834740856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10271662771938987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08734633076127933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12007780989750885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144907650768386,0.07829827580950129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08283576000018403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5958170894043865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19483545102525326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10773274089833397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08609331185616763,0.13570814774257028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07058946833308133,0.10469901065861073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786061824373046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12153682711302953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888422513788336,0.09523960528371303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053600156048082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13478038100502376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613474675402765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228452126446471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073849429994363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230173472769466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3328031520393949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16542746139304634
addiction,557432960,2020/01/22,"I want to spend the money I want to save on weed Hey, 22M. I’ve been smoking marijuana almost everyday for over 2 years now. It has taken a toll on my finances, and I worry that it’ll impact my relationship. Not so much the weed itself, but the opportunity cost of spending the money on it. I’ve been working on saving money recently, and I put some in my savings. Other than the ~$100 in checking and ~$40 in my savings, I have $25 in cash. I know a dude who can sell 3.5g for $25, who I’ve hit up multiple times. I really want to save this money but I really want to spend it too. What do I do",1.8518604651162784,2.9180991860465118,4.716968992248066,84.22056976744187,76.51937984496124,7.640620155038763,22.97751937984497,8.238735603445708,1.1780040310077515,461,13,103,8,10,167,76,129,0.016,0.855,0.128,0.8847,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,2,3,6,0,0,7,0,8,0,0,0,0,18,15,6,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,11,3,0,0,1,0,12,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,13,6,18,10,2,16,0,0,0,0,4,10,0,2,5,67,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629028949660212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14428896461946908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930022535322869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639322502668477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3363886613066955,0.0,0.2592334879052605,0.28187722177933106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15309326664035172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6194280901873314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911373424119205,0.2666292221263558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690716596093388
addiction,Djbiiggs,2020/01/22,"I’m 22 and have been doing oxys/hydros every two to three days for 2 years. I’m just seeking advice. I’ve been reading other posts on here and people seem so depressed and I see them talking about death and a bunch of really dark stuff. My situation isn’t like this at all. Honestly I just really like oxys, I honestly love them. And when I don’t have them, I don’t have withdrawals, I just want them really bad. I know their destroying my kidneys and my body internally. But honestly I do them before work, before school, before social events and things always go perfect fine. I swear they get rid of my anxiety better then anything. I don’t want to stop, like, at all tbh. Is anyone else addicting to oxys or was and can share with me, their thoughts and feelings. Did they help u with anxiety and give you so much courage?",3.6503350637092993,5.3228055766871165,4.574846625766874,84.59557810287873,72.98773006134971,7.960169891458236,24.808400188768285,8.617729084823388,1.64946757904672,651,20,129,12,13,211,101,163,0.12300000000000001,0.654,0.223,0.9457,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,9,3,8,15,1,0,1,0,15,4,2,0,3,27,28,16,1,2,5,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,12,0,1,4,1,0,1,4,3,0,2,5,2,25,12,12,23,4,11,0,1,1,1,16,3,0,2,9,83,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16602535687851264,0.0,0.14882210116443512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12672265318424014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330123791214801,0.0,0.0,0.10648905636348914,0.15604547239832958,0.12532681055209782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12716098022397054,0.0,0.0,0.3887785919259923,0.0,0.0,0.1346936281883367,0.0,0.16916676495611685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09821846115796627,0.0,0.13117250900054794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12722394752619454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12831613175473658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700554357472415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956848786715365,0.1460964092407072,0.08655345009251175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208094434682427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369801826673452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232127173246612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13745328236612026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195524331516764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10558302135624156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14585767783507206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523374310537673,0.0,0.2926945701601962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541319028518226,0.121360367517165,0.13864475659741246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17118732947004647,0.0,0.1552468146614066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273264572319627,0.0,0.0,0.17434273252608173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122409930775965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011788397200161,0.0,0.0,0.12090618506973785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14877127502519188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796565099214533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108734602042422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807377086452636
addiction,ChanceDiamond1,2020/01/22,"have a porn addiction I have struggled with this for many 10 years. the withdrawals are the worst, I feel pain in my head, I have moderate-severe depression, and its hard to motivate myself to do things.

I am planning on lowering my exposure, from videos, then to pictures, then to something less explicit, the goals is to do less and less and get less anticipation but still using. I hope to solidify each step after every 50 days.

idk.

withdrawal sucks, addiction sucks, this whole process sucks.

planning on getting clean before my schooling ends and I need to get a job.",5.676250000000002,7.647599509615389,5.705000000000003,77.31500000000003,68.32692307692308,9.430769230769233,32.230769230769226,9.827888789773867,3.3555230769230766,455,20,79,11,8,143,71,104,0.2,0.701,0.1,-0.8554,2,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,4,1,8,3,1,5,0,8,5,1,2,1,13,18,7,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,4,6,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,7,0,0,0,2,10,1,14,18,7,11,0,1,0,1,0,3,3,1,7,56,14,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43736051064869824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17069320683994094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12936842038716628,0.0,0.17277383587113831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776693334864337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16901155933000875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10142783154884688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3144108388568714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17969544178682142,0.0,0.2058703152459904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992380065379512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19906149349767774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20337379502384734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487400766749022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134492692422285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20301479546843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22661742538370325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544293116300906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16019696185610224,0.0,0.0,0.20970745821599707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332676822347375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17325133524905512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22395930083770574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12917784160506166
addiction,sansoknight,2020/01/22,"Boyfriend Gaming addiction Hi, I hope this is the right place to ask this. 

My boyfriend (22) found this game a couple of weeks ago probably more like 2 months ago and he downloaded it on his phone. Now he is constantly playing, around 5h each day. 

I keep telling him to try and do something else but he says there’s nothing else he wants to do. Some of his friends play the same game so they play together a lot. 

How can I make him understand he’s losing control of his time? I can’t stand the sound of this game anymore. I can’t stand that he doesn’t interact with me o anyone else because he’s playing. 

I want to help him so bad but he’s not willing to quit. 

(Sorry for my English, it’s my second language)",1.036952054794522,3.308242746575345,2.193407534246578,95.5895633561644,83.86301369863014,5.56780821917808,23.508561643835613,6.9077264865688965,0.6891246575342462,555,21,123,7,16,176,93,146,0.057999999999999996,0.7879999999999999,0.154,0.8809,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,3,6,9,0,0,5,0,9,1,0,3,0,20,17,7,0,3,3,0,0,1,1,1,1,2,0,0,7,5,0,2,2,8,0,0,4,2,0,1,1,2,17,7,13,15,5,14,0,1,0,0,27,4,0,3,9,67,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735573513827724,0.0,0.0,0.2822519067456431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15788894590502256,0.1113200954431432,0.16312471416366348,0.0,0.1417265315634712,0.14883552850779494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329298327788491,0.09705011501544708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17204444472686586,0.17856235840632306,0.0,0.1761577122353584,0.0,0.10267429202360916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3989869700674295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745604692519523,0.12300167286411888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10671200267589953,0.0,0.0,0.15812685355713524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415090466677206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777970133033639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17811008432137776,0.0,0.13535071115659242,0.0,0.0,0.10627081979887223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12707620631877958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15276184497634587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16633572506478492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716503144651367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16933450649570106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13596051491182315,0.0,0.12660649915635416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12256407082857,0.0,0.1782173758263228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13915250942810362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09283393073367918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10808999477310784,0.0,0.0,0.16573840340462245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18780690255318264,0.0,0.12770494358124762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,AttackonTitanFanGirl,2020/01/22,"Originally wrote this as a comment to someone else’s post but In the off chance someone can relate and needs a new perspective , I know this sub has helped me feel less horrible, hopefully this can do the same for someone else. Every person is different but maybe my own self realization can give you insight.

I was doing a lot of coke, every time the comedown was a panicked self hatred and repetitive suicidal thoughts. Like an extreme self hatred- it felt unbearable. Death always seemed less painful. I couldn’t stop- even knowing a horrible come down was inevitable. 

I told my therapist I wanted to change my pattern of behavior- to fix myself cuz I was broken and self destructive. He asked me why I hated myself, my answers were all non answers and non about my own character traits- wasn’t ready to take partial blame . They all sounded like: I don’t know who I am, life sucks, my dad hurt my mom , brother and me. My brother is a mess and I always have to fix it. My moms an alcoholic and I have to go clean her hoarded house .He told me to change the pattern I had to focus on on the feeling- not just trying to fix the behavior.  I didn’t really get it. Action and feeling felt the same. It didn’t feel like he was fixing me so I stopped seeing him.

Healthy and happy ppl mentally don’t start casually doing hard drugs, ppl hiding pain do. And if u think differently cuz you know a happy person who does drugs, how people seem is often very different from what the feel alone in secret. something in me had wanted a vice, a numbing tool, an upper, and got addicted to the high. But also addicted to the low.  Normally my self hatred for my inner self isn’t at the forefront of my mind. Body image maybe but that’s  because I am constantly seeing that. A lot of my actions I don’t really think too hard about before doing. Cuz I don’t want to feel guilt, But during the coke comedown- the self hatred was RIGHT there. Too painful, every time I tried to run from it but couldn’t and then it’s a spiral. But I never though to say ok WHY do I hate myself .

Some things I was ready to see, some I wasn’t. Nobody likes seeing their  cringy flaws. It took a lot of painful comedowns to piece together so much suppressed pain and guilt.  But it always felt like a really fucked up way to finally feel  what I hide all at once. What’s crazy, is one day, I was actually ready to look at all I had hidden straight in the face - to see myself, the version of me only I knew, that I thought was “evil”. I became self aware of why I felt the self hatred and it was 100 percent because I hadn’t been dealing with my pain and the huge (not self aware) flaws that pain caused. One of which was lying to everyone about my addiction. (The tip of the iceberg but while I know my flaws I still feel ashamed enough to not write em all out, but an example would be a pattern of taking
Full credit for a writing sample that I collaborated on in interviews- a flaw that was a direct result of not believing in my own talents)

The thing that sucks- that is exactly what therapy does, but so much gentler, so much healthier, and not addictive and crazy enough less expensive . (Mine without insurance is 150 a week- coke was 350 a week)

This is LITERALLY self medicating, and Toying with death is too. It’s knowing that no matter how much you can’t control your addiction, you have e control over ending your life. It calmed me to plan mine. 

I still struggle with my addiction to coke, cuz now it’s not self medicating - it’s a pattern my body craves, I got addicted. A consequence for doing the fix that was a wolf in sheep’s clothing( I tried to think of a better metaphor sorry )

I went back to my therapist. I know this is easier said than done. But a therapist and self medicating and two ways of coping, one just ACTUALLY helps you learn how to undo your damage. 

We all gonna die anyway, why not be less miserable? The misery becomes an addiction too. Addicted to feeling bad. Feeling bad felt normal, like home, and good felt like a stranger. But it’s a pattern I’m on the road to changing. 

This is the longest post I’ve written. And the most honest I’ve been about my addiction. A month ago I would have never said it.  Hiding and hating yourself is so so painful. And is NOT unfixable. 

Even now writing this my brain is saying don’t  post that they all gonna judge you.  They gonna think you u on a high horse or being a fake cuz you always are, always fake emotions to hide but fuck it - i think this is more
Therapeutic for me than you. Just know. I have hope for the first time .",2.7037125245166718,4.816739459579182,3.928981040440835,86.27135892406838,76.88482834994463,7.009614537885764,24.72226447317509,7.986249989870231,1.454077570080989,3584,125,710,60,83,1169,365,903,0.22899999999999998,0.6629999999999999,0.10800000000000001,-0.9993,3,1,4,0,0,0,107.0,1,12,4,5,32,51,9,5,60,1,73,37,4,13,10,151,148,59,4,14,28,5,18,7,0,5,27,5,2,15,44,30,5,5,39,2,2,7,26,31,0,5,45,30,97,20,81,93,33,69,0,4,6,2,62,30,4,13,34,477,141,3,0.0,0.0,0.06964409420412371,0.3890039212855915,0.0,0.0,0.031631359213427385,0.0381349173353559,0.0,0.036957448969170366,0.0,0.028536162784456368,0.1484580727040841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033359349952544096,0.0,0.0,0.027438486510305768,0.059588632569951866,0.04350478386705087,0.039409733726810316,0.03036411618372397,0.0402031987373544,0.0,0.031559245239741865,0.0,0.07927287271820857,0.0,0.03983469993120799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03665688767189674,0.1132455549729778,0.030738262573094543,0.0,0.03856129579124022,0.08004438539842541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023012970579574358,0.03678822571375683,0.0,0.0,0.037033944068004816,0.11184530436405266,0.0,0.0,0.06245391931092927,0.03651671284947601,0.0,0.0,0.08276329660789199,0.0,0.0596181395415837,0.04013924818296692,0.03160507898434148,0.07374139721020606,0.0,0.04713736376967045,0.0,0.09019491845450382,0.03409720989111049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18042700810585086,0.025492371645805624,0.2055711170648034,0.03908964063580441,0.0,0.03035245273576617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06597782815354568,0.01864320870801496,0.03423096155243678,0.020279812746568118,0.029929711476598495,0.05707887087113884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07597171348194744,0.06393099494834635,0.10569050500661854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04783593107227371,0.07540336713036402,0.035793561211908236,0.0708837345168012,0.0,0.04117408451981331,0.038200032838575836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15688619098547654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0504087652753476,0.12203243481767274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029965237650166492,0.0,0.0,0.09101076440015476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169794670459764,0.0,0.0,0.1078424215438928,0.035960676881143065,0.0,0.03603026470437375,0.08358440430926171,0.028482309833756162,0.0,0.10492621001248802,0.02645893795625817,0.05504278574768474,0.034463444152323164,0.0,0.0,0.06992470516261827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03800187042083295,0.07254039449976024,0.027138986484141515,0.30375893830054645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024738515911646247,0.06231508793094505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10252507754397756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06857948549066056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030473600236075756,0.06788655192424796,0.05675406341439637,0.0,0.0,0.14217604991321564,0.0649700202379869,0.4839351151825329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09070379785187456,0.02747097935130813,0.0,0.0399448697997065,0.025257036412126968,0.0,0.05699393961986411,0.0596661763936205,0.0,0.037304247449254715,0.0,0.03903206775222605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05365925406505345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04080730753851035,0.12429423303513125,0.04741319776955895,0.11432305322798768,0.035058956753993314,0.05665758650857815,0.06242218401474318,0.0,0.0,0.06819441978222097,0.03964579362105695,0.07268046812792929,0.0,0.034857693094317216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02944270786953208,0.06314133710467032,0.05664796299219507,0.05724646455464595,0.0,0.0,0.03307905557572317,0.12879559849906275,0.0,0.0,0.03439771793975924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050697212599146814,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,BurgundyBlak,2020/01/22,"Face Value I know to varying degrees everyone does this. Outward aesthetic is the first impression we make upon anyone. But one shouldn't necessarily ""define"" themself by it.

So, I'll be frank. I've always had 3 friends tops if any. Currently only my partner. All of my family is toxic and unsupportive. Even with my partner I feel alone. I feel unattractive. Untalented. And impossible of being understood by others for various reasons. I'm older (30) so making meaningful platonic relationships seems more hopeless than ever. I'm not religious, nor do I desire to be. BUT, my psychology of religion class has awakened an idea in me. Community. One of the major reasons that religious people thrive. Connecting on a level built around deep and common beliefs. 

I don't subscribe to the idea of an all powerful diety. Being bipolar, having social anxiety, and ping-ponging between anorexia and binge eating disorder further displaces me from a more meaningful existence. 

Point: Since I've been a teenager, when I liked how I looked, I've rested almost all value in myself in my skin. My ""number"" extends beyond 120 people. I'd say... at least 60 percent of which were mistakes or misguided attempts to feel complete. I'm very sex-positive but my relationship with sexuality is fractured. If that makes sense. 

Since my relationship has begun, I've moved this way of living to the web. Showing in webcam. Again I this is something I don't believe to be bad. I don't condemn myself for doing it etc. The problem lies in placing nearly all sense of SELF in the acceptance of OTHERS. It was easy when I was young, in shape, etc. I've lost those things. It was also a way to be social without hating myself. It was a way to ""hang out"" in person, and now on webcam, I still feel it's the only way to achieve being liked. Otherwise I feel like a ghost, largely ignored but unwelcome if seen. In a way, I feel like the living dead. The compliments fed me. 

I've gotta go for now, but that's the overall scenario. I know I'm not the first, nor the last external approval seeking stray, and I do have a therapist but still. I'm curious about THIS community and whether there are people who are similar. 

Thanks.",3.363466765224313,6.103077907090462,5.05498720645932,75.76211576732815,77.99755501222494,7.814431113890942,29.07153010746574,8.70740988407696,2.9133881958264625,1740,80,285,41,43,587,226,409,0.1,0.767,0.133,0.8977,2,1,1,1,0,1,71.0,1,0,0,8,17,17,1,0,22,0,31,5,2,6,5,60,57,27,2,7,14,0,7,4,3,2,1,1,0,4,19,13,2,1,18,1,0,3,9,8,0,4,11,10,31,9,47,37,13,49,1,2,2,0,13,25,0,6,20,202,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092867410379446,0.09605242591284303,0.0,0.07416549946337797,0.07716851907970104,0.0,0.0,0.06306753240479318,0.0,0.0709471423309763,0.0,0.0,0.06484714903986283,0.0,0.0,0.08255977035065808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774354409573499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10448813096922273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09723790203921727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10629001648630466,0.0,0.0811588816991117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489790630729504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068630087153534,0.06125501444904845,0.08389017209989524,0.0,0.08861866330743311,0.0,0.0,0.08742861563178883,0.0,0.28135792343059346,0.1325093699456374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577720756704435,0.0,0.0,0.07165200299748102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05270724213110621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915632227962828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20938816872192856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019368196175508,0.07559685896260775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18123562917785896,0.0,0.16378523043163293,0.0,0.07787966565967132,0.0,0.1012385148178644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857174033848805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09856974403297022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568834452812686,0.14106847530478614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19288624077754613,0.08097847029069123,0.09689533153013613,0.0,0.08767087792354318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874127645155153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907078157940812,0.0,0.2987096163583424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737519177245106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442855539989992,0.0967498134168574,0.0,0.0,0.15343377586164525,0.0,0.0,0.1890769563014717,0.0,0.07139708725826589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14812727381115393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08538409191596517,0.0,0.1076802552033991,0.06161346079176864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765216105329901,0.0,0.3680702010141637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08939968385631153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,FireOnIce30,2020/01/22,Addicted to 101 questions I am addicted to playing this game called 101 questions with anyone and everyone that I meet off the internet or in person.,13.352222222222226,9.671586444444447,12.421481481481482,54.09666666666668,54.925925925925924,16.725925925925928,52.925925925925924,14.554592549557764,7.688659259259259,122,7,18,4,1,40,22,27,0.0,0.93,0.07,0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,5,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,3,0,13,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6051616126769527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19407604444582394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834192656688028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652199810389579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423542350278205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6218602879940347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,djrox1199,2020/01/22,"Advice on depression/drug use Hey y'all I didn't know where to go but I really need some advice. I'm 17 and I've been smoking weed daily for the past year and at the same time have been battling depression and anxiety. I know weed isn't comparative to other peoples stories but I'm really struggling with living sober, life really fucking sucks right now and I feel weed is the easiest way to make it OK. I can only go two days max without smoking weed without feeling super depressed and burnt.  I'd really appreciate some help on dealing with depression and being sober at the same time. This shits really affected my life for the worse and I almost failed high school because of my constant weed use. Any advice would be really nice and sorry again if this is the wrong place.",2.8461672185430484,5.479130417218549,4.188638245033115,81.84136796357619,79.26490066225165,7.483609271523179,24.007036423841058,8.472884824447931,1.9612281456953649,627,22,112,14,16,206,93,151,0.261,0.617,0.122,-0.9782,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,2,3,13,4,1,6,1,11,4,1,4,0,30,25,11,0,3,5,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,10,0,0,4,0,0,2,4,10,0,1,3,2,9,3,14,19,4,19,0,4,0,1,4,8,3,4,8,63,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35765273388646845,0.0,0.0,0.12216598166350835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296459410083794,0.0,0.09333012790677184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07437043565212251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13183931110053804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07868029653394724,0.12577726539507472,0.3152368236150446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414819676738233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12337434188614703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11278759223709925,0.0,0.0,0.1386715091852705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177443300354599,0.1289003361161222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409668241368652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723452687718097,0.0,0.0,0.10772876822940283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08143635032572998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09046190178591927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09278695667817324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11646338089595,0.084579857302981,0.0,0.12746466437067872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.468940264438517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10418784896720412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12347112425451948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523186651113355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13656968751528087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12754152016724965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422790662507466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191768624422815,0.0,0.0,0.21073870101377914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968384005632448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23520845674686394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12432903798226967,0.08666572850629384,0.13338850817977185,0.0,0.07856438884145013
addiction,Knoven,2020/01/22,"Any tips about getting off of something? Im, currently addicted to video games, and, yeah yeah, it sounds dumb, but that's just because it... is.

Every day I think ""today I should do x"", but as soon as I finish walking home I feel like,""You know, I had 7+ hours of school just earlier, it wouldn't hurt to go on the PS4 for a few minutes"". And then as you can probably guess I get on for the rest of the day and accomplish nothing.

Anything that you do/did that helps you stop what you're doing or prevent it from happening? Doesn't even have to relate to my problem, just any way that got you off anything.

And I know that there isn't gonna be some sort of magical little step that fixes anything, I just hope I can find something that makes it even just a little bit easier to switch.",2.6369039655996183,4.124378118012427,3.751801242236024,90.22237935977068,75.27329192546584,6.941423793597706,24.806975633062592,7.61054688173877,1.087384710941233,611,20,132,8,13,198,101,161,0.053,0.807,0.14,0.9202,1,0,2,0,0,0,27.0,0,4,0,1,10,4,1,0,5,2,12,1,0,1,0,27,25,11,0,4,8,0,1,0,0,3,1,1,1,0,13,4,0,2,5,2,0,3,3,3,0,0,2,2,14,1,20,19,4,19,0,1,0,0,6,6,1,5,9,84,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16997665499989134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120629418621261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3849285273039105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09504785470768523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702250986458223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20111199639322744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20596839724912105,0.0,0.13136997425131425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883822663822271,0.11138982985179,0.0,0.0,0.1425087598166628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16292433475634496,0.0,0.08861336727130538,0.0,0.12470408408459242,0.0,0.17176430775766255,0.0,0.13788022272900952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451040603394067,0.0,0.15640124616809026,0.15486450685699654,0.15355055144264046,0.0,0.16691641002816873,0.0,0.16842118865979774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17137995596069805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07617501277640201,0.3125471485017945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040783252889716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14961018483984914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681089625418167,0.1491951201462101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578001443158574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400708540044938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13035674610302114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09990773415778233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14779465943139278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12376265038857852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Sokoshinbutsu,2020/01/22,"Help supporting a friend Hi. Apologies if my English is bad, I'm an American, but I'm writing this with a 103 fever. A month and a half ago, I made this friend online. She struggles with misophonia, and I strongly suspect depression. To cope, she's been abusing oxycodone. Her family isn't at all supportive of her, and she refuses to get help for fear of what her mom will think. I don't know how to support her, and she lives thousands of miles away so I can't just tell someone myself. I'm incredibly terrified for her, but I don't know how I can help her. Any advice would be appreciated",2.5341448382126366,4.661488254237291,4.093636363636364,84.81969953775041,77.47457627118644,7.680739599383668,27.67642526964561,8.575989854853784,2.1518203389830517,466,20,94,10,11,155,76,118,0.212,0.589,0.198,-0.6087,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,4,10,0,2,5,0,10,1,0,3,1,21,21,10,0,2,4,1,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,3,6,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,4,0,2,2,0,18,6,12,16,1,5,0,1,0,0,21,3,0,1,2,62,21,0,0.0,0.20096610401165974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16574586827920867,0.15035351189340668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11534405345863145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15935892715879438,0.0,0.14162148574404104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14608919796553566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15989797809943762,0.19086409218829656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620883408316559,0.0,0.088616865411901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3410681872479029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18643199635437208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14977320068102706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049386575872235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986511019431811,0.13538511833925498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437142853192121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17731848241776405,0.0,0.0,0.5774314617050013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14825103378415866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086824782155311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048966827597885,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,MfxTPHpgh,2020/01/22,"Foolproof way to tell if you're a true addict Ok, I was just thinking about this and I want to know if anyone agrees. It is how I am, and this is the first time I have put it in words  but here goes...

As addicts of any kind, we play with death until it's not just a casual acquaintance to us. Many times, it becomes a friend and we beckon it. However, there's either one of two types of people when it comes to addicts and ""normal "" people. Those are the people who become revolted by their own devices and in realizing that they've been skipping alongside the grim reaper rather happily,  and those, in whom something very deeply ingrained within themselves instead rejoices in that fact and wants to bekon it a little more often and draw it a little closer.

Does this make sense to anyone? When I'm on a terror of a run, there is a part of me, or another me, or my addiction and it's end game is death and part of me isnt just cool with it, but part of me is totally down to do it. . I don't remember how that feeling started but in hindsight, I can't remember feeling any differently. JFC. What the fuck *IS* that??? Do I really hate myself that bad? Part of me says ""maybe"". I hate this whatever you want to call it. It's the only fucking thing in the world that tries to creep in at every level of consciousness including my dreams while I am sleeping. It's the only thing that'll have you throwing away all the people you love as you're suffering and selling the things you love. Or selling the people you love.  If there's anything in the world that can make a reasonably and commonly decent person fall from Grace that hard, it is fucking addiction.

I've had a real wild last 10-15 years. I'm just now, after a 2 year struggle to get clean after going out with just under 10, am actually accruing *consecutive months* outside of the confines of jail or court ordered bullshit. All I had to do was take subs and an SSRI, and leave my spouse whom I adored, 90% of my family, my home, and my life up to that point. I want to make it so fucking bad. I just want to do something in life that is good for me *and* curbs my appetite for any and everything. I just dont want to feel so empty and it's hard not to as I sort out the wreckage I caused in my life.

Part of me is still paralyzed.  I can't do the meetings and the Fucking Fellowship. I've always been a loner but I never had this much trouble letting *anyone* in. I feel like I just want to lay low and stay the fuck in this winter. Maybe I need a period of cold, quiet reflection. Maybe I'll make it to outstretch my leaves or bloom in the spring. But I do know one thing, I just gotta stay planted and not run. Just rest my neck a bit.

And, this got way longer than i meant for it to get   Oops.My bad for real 

TLDR; This turned into a pretty lengthy catharsis,  despite that not being my intent, but i might as well ask if anyone feels me? Early recovery fucking sucks and is really fuckin weird and hard. 🖤",1.9372776726584675,3.894839832781457,3.4641106906338703,89.43716887417222,78.65231788079471,6.433491012298959,22.209555345316936,7.447530270364453,0.8148780510879852,2305,69,484,32,56,760,277,604,0.146,0.726,0.128,-0.9614,2,0,2,0,0,0,79.0,3,5,1,1,27,36,11,2,33,2,39,21,2,9,6,110,85,51,3,14,31,1,8,1,1,3,8,2,2,1,49,33,0,2,15,4,2,7,10,21,1,4,9,12,54,15,74,71,14,66,0,3,0,11,24,31,9,12,24,336,103,1,0.0,0.0,0.057345623246383835,0.3203096050905149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04889672729590086,0.0,0.0,0.11988551691801533,0.06161964628245091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16435787029910154,0.0,0.04835813269724906,0.0,0.0549368251819289,0.0,0.05521113221724498,0.0,0.147197575566486,0.0,0.12980142930219368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06415555609536161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06000507048676872,0.0,0.0,0.0603672743206741,0.0,0.05062036759638777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0613963395770446,0.0,0.0,0.05142516343981028,0.0,0.06887149404641409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05204785769188553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04951158095588653,0.0,0.05281369566998783,0.0,0.055397890582692726,0.0,0.14856534999198429,0.041981332567050826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04998500846568142,0.0,0.0,0.0454012658601673,0.3802874893272288,0.061403996125789236,0.0,0.03339718936865856,0.049288829952457376,0.04699929637553545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792420557566506,0.11603545043490028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05894553154466702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06119412847131728,0.06459080632482869,0.04790086736410687,0.0,0.12444612858302248,0.0,0.06009062831108256,0.12452120003124327,0.028709340421118244,0.11779482742361333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15911162278170712,0.0,0.156902898327133,0.059577925655178735,0.17711035599990818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062339791632961564,0.0,0.0,0.0469052208253616,0.0,0.043198629954259694,0.043573092733229485,0.04532276411933371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05757668103367404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964062003467517,0.08938601970451829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3181808468925998,0.0,0.2036993415387026,0.05131084833380838,0.0,0.0,0.05555139661540222,0.0,0.0,0.05978456864034575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05907449992735594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13377361136631594,0.07529201879586234,0.06041963856044112,0.0,0.0,0.13313732565994899,0.0,0.0,0.04673184676254491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058806885824729725,0.0,0.0,0.0904794843032665,0.0,0.0,0.0415937779351367,0.12527016295453047,0.046929363158755136,0.0,0.0,0.06143335897067835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04418355070104919,0.0,0.05136271668950383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15616194925188198,0.037653884733274516,0.0,0.0,0.06853204305180842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039897202007481966,0.06391884353057685,0.057404325758505785,0.0,0.07068639407784114,0.0,0.0,0.048486822957044186,0.2426255529803953,0.09328896528984262,0.0,0.0,0.05283629503911663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07568475419894068
addiction,Ohlordmylife,2020/01/22,"Does anyone feel like ""nothing compares"" to drugs/being high? I don't know whether in my late teens/early 20s I just suddenly somehow lost all interest in actual sober and/or sober activities (be that social or independent) but after doing several drugs I just can't seem to find anything in ""normal"" (sober) life that compares. Anything that fucks me up or makes me high is like the best thing ever. It's like I find normal life just so boring without some sort of edge. I get either physically addicted or psychologically depended on anything and everything. I know it's bad. Physically, mentally, financially and that I'm putting a strain on my relationships not to mention obviously breaking laws. But I just can't stop. From alcohol, to codeine, to tramadol, to MD, to LSD, to ket, to coke- it's just all about being mentally altered or fucked up. Like, I have a hard time understanding why someone would want to live in the ""real"" world. No matter what I do or activities I try, nothing compares to the feeling that drugs and alcohol gives me. Has anyone ever got over that feeling? I know I'm an addict so it does kinda make sense to me. But I haven't always been an addict. Why out of all the things/activities/hobbies I've done in my life that drugs are the most satisfying by far? How do you get over this? Or this mindset?",3.7667132505176006,6.114812527777783,5.118757763975157,77.87841614906834,74.51587301587301,8.033402346445826,28.41683919944789,8.841846274778883,2.5221288474810217,1055,44,190,23,23,351,139,252,0.1,0.774,0.126,0.5851,0,0,6,0,0,0,43.0,0,1,0,2,12,12,2,1,9,0,16,14,0,5,6,56,36,16,0,4,18,0,4,4,0,1,11,0,0,0,15,4,3,1,10,0,0,1,7,6,0,0,4,4,20,6,31,29,7,25,0,1,0,2,5,16,2,13,11,124,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.09409078023782996,0.3153319708234741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20608461736164416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08022811440344453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13483644765902608,0.0,0.2380332192107932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08050561926154186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118551752679457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16875337568904342,0.098669845390122,0.0,0.0,0.3354453773237707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744325381598633,0.0,0.0,0.08665494507718713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14625663378347084,0.0688815660732525,0.0,0.0,0.1762499604926183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782751402055567,0.10074962269348993,0.09249363977137423,0.0,0.0,0.07711487322412182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08637225115513815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037433820321093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15896765138942653,0.0,0.10876453676971112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043102193998632,0.18842130139421406,0.0,0.08513951259769642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10525244290944223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287205133489224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19433482102359795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18893978425126545,0.1850327601000817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09692746325980606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097456331986297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10351764147870852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777599832575363,0.0,0.10892573003934417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09828676163619543,0.08169528426826225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061038275879147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06405632556054107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056222541817468406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06546199437159339,0.0,0.0,0.10037530720215723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05687027011005815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17400582910097706,0.0,0.0,0.09294422323497202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06849310546499178,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,PatheticWasteOfALife,2020/01/22,I don't understand how I went from trying weed for the first time to doing nothing but thinking about stimulants all the time in 6 months Hate weed but holy shit do I love addies and benzedrex like what the fuck dude didn't even touch shit until I was 22 and now I'm going junkie mode it's just pathetic. 5th day in a row of speeding,2.3686190476190454,4.0905751000000015,3.457142857142859,91.0561904761905,76.57142857142857,6.9523809523809526,21.666666666666664,7.793537801064563,0.7689523809523808,267,7,58,4,6,86,56,70,0.284,0.611,0.10400000000000001,-0.9559,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,1,5,6,4,0,4,0,5,4,2,2,1,10,13,6,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,4,0,1,3,1,4,2,8,10,1,12,0,0,0,2,1,2,3,0,9,33,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16804450390874262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17210239944578934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22163861222342565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408904874470996,0.0,0.0,0.14808653496406926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25725649542271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12730013586284186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351723736405693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20798252053721536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500215774493141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5349376605958643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16696115521984295,0.0,0.0,0.3038780502611606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17690825221340545,0.0,0.0,0.2712599934202869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415487155285339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Monsantoshill619,2020/01/22,"Addict behavioral question Hi,

I follow a prominent pyramid scheme founder (no really, the real owner) and it seems like she’s on some pills or something frequently, she rambles on live videos, hardly ever makes sense, and she’s just never fully there

Anyway to get to the point she’s frequently made the claim she’s “recovering from surgery” like every couple months. I was wondering is this an addict type of line? Like she “needs” pain pills for really tiny things 

Thank you and wishing you all recovery and happiness",6.433179723502303,8.463138032258065,6.212933947772663,74.18225806451615,66.52688172043011,9.61536098310292,29.414746543778804,9.957137785484203,3.1983069124423964,419,15,66,10,7,131,70,93,0.033,0.785,0.182,0.9147,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,1,4,6,0,0,5,0,2,5,0,3,3,19,11,5,0,2,2,0,1,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,1,10,5,7,9,2,9,0,0,0,0,11,3,0,5,8,40,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4181138360627992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21218915888020234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17346637293167014,0.16157396401795074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10019158012169167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041420588462425,0.17178768695200433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28106648060665634,0.0,0.16933586588022176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18145681338944694,0.1280075426757621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15306848045598448,0.0,0.0,0.14219455694017022,0.14790435929597706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20405612897080846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18128403869553225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21482558135020088,0.0,0.0,0.2182755251615804,0.2457047361626449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745796308492673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14763342897698992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17655546960959578,0.0,0.0,0.12740304733895186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22052530982047208,0.0,0.2079656999483909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,bigwilly3487,2020/01/23,Anyone else cocaine and benzo combo? I’m 18 days sober from this.  Just started feeling normal.  This was my 3rd relapse.,1.658636363636365,4.20995622727273,2.6459090909090897,85.88886363636364,100.36363636363636,2.2,23.681818181818183,3.1291,0.3218727272727277,95,4,14,0,4,30,21,22,0.0,0.93,0.07,0.128,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,4,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,7,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33451624398873825,0.4901888240981235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3085356546382316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39965118036743663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24189908411809144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.468741412764036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3386219191777796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ExtroHermit,2020/01/23,"I am addicted to Reddit now In the past I have overcome cannabis, irresponsible sex, masturbation, a 6-month smoking habit, porn, and now my mind is stuck on Reddit. Anyone else thinks that an addictive mind will latch on to anything new and make that the new compulsion?",7.863125,8.931817395833336,7.366666666666667,70.74500000000002,62.54166666666666,10.566666666666666,36.83333333333333,10.504223727775694,4.065408333333334,217,10,36,5,3,68,38,48,0.102,0.898,0.0,-0.5994,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,4,4,0,1,0,6,7,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,5,5,0,8,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,5,22,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5156043198843464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653549147965383,0.2423055163972524,0.19460595096107236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975518022383936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15785471871227338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4775622843789491,0.0,0.18875904826403386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4567948987327834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22575046840970706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15152921829660182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,yunboyyliveing,2020/01/23,Addiction I made this post so normal people who don't know what addiction really is can maybe get a peek at what it's like. So you're a boy you live in a bad neighborhood and your poor. Your mom works all day waiting tables just so she can keep the roof that is your shity apartment above your head. And your dad he's been in prison since you were six your 15 now. You're always having to help around the house clean up feed your siblings watch them get them ready for school just the usual. Your shoes are dirty the right one has a hole in it your clothes don't look much better. You smoke weed to help deal with the stress drink once in awhile to Forget or Have fun. You never really liked being yourself you always kind of felt off. You are always anxious always had problems with anxiety and lately depression starting to show up. So one day you're at a party and someone hands you a pill it's a perk. You take it and suddenly Bang that feeling you've been searching for your whole life is there. All the feelings of warmth and love you never got as a child is here. Anxiousness anxiety depression all gone like they never even existed. You feel this one little pill has turned you into the perfect version of yourself the person you've always wanted to be. You feel calm and confident in yourself you're ready for anything you can talk to strangers pick up girls easily. That feeling you been waiting for your whole life for it's here. So slowly but surely it becomes your best friend your little helper. Anytime your family or school gets to be too much you just take half a pill and you can handle it all no problem. Even if the day is long hard depressing it's all okay because you know when you get home you have that pill. That pill will make you forget the whole day forget all the drama the anxiousness the anxiety like it was never there. So fast forward you're 18 now. the pills are getting expensive you need two or three just to get through the day and more if you want to get really high. You can't just stop this is all you know this is how it's always been since you were a kid. You never learned how to deal with and properly process your emotions and even find out why you felt the way you do. You just take a pill and there'd be no need for any of that. So now you're 23 and shooting heroin. You want to stop you really do. your little friend has turned into your worst enemy it's taking everything from you. You've tried to stop before but it just all comes back up.all that pain and anxiety the anxiousness that person you never wanted to be. It makes you sick not only mentally but physically your stomach turns your two week to keep your eyelids open you can't even get out of bed without your little friend. This makes you hate yourself you can't deal with this helpless feeling you don't know what to do. So naturally you do the only thing you know how to do the same thing you've been doing since you were 15 years old just take a pill and it will all be ok.,3.503,5.155622566666668,3.799,90.08950000000002,73.33333333333334,6.933333333333334,22.333333333333336,7.569512494915309,0.7387833333333336,2380,59,493,29,48,738,247,600,0.134,0.7490000000000001,0.11699999999999999,-0.9317,0,0,2,1,0,0,33.0,0,62,3,4,34,29,1,1,31,2,50,21,4,8,17,104,100,36,0,11,18,2,10,4,3,2,14,0,3,6,34,26,2,7,15,3,2,3,16,11,0,8,15,12,67,18,51,77,19,57,0,4,2,1,87,25,0,5,33,324,101,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214758416661814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781576485028981,0.0,0.0,0.03788832700132369,0.0,0.17048826398929726,0.25176980376100033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045848959705276485,0.0495984456173552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0428416406686877,0.046519963547214785,0.03396354090268562,0.06153319172828731,0.04740963224326512,0.0,0.058469789190245834,0.04927567137597733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04799381334104107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17965885543994964,0.1723201401369624,0.14396256602507473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05457980088740859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06267223400678675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14719776908474502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05007333554047168,0.0,0.05252344355363587,0.0,0.16902803393242535,0.0,0.10699088578668717,0.0,0.0509227915549458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12913655012426306,0.0,0.2328716339598793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04456062973293539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04990998158991061,0.05500734203986327,0.057179990441972486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468960685133744,0.05886629276353979,0.055887007000815885,0.0,0.0,0.06428799683238656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904466973242024,0.0,0.05801893030167695,0.1530984092716453,0.0,0.0628493058269503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07870675402112763,0.10887876092103907,0.22336554348975005,0.04919764680779895,0.04930630343362191,0.046786835107617566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05028525003389027,0.05271918131222896,0.1115712227984412,0.0,0.055973525876644004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056147936460200484,0.0,0.0,0.06525310741134968,0.0,0.0,0.08191433926929413,0.08262440510130623,0.2578265292643063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05458918244844986,0.0,0.0,0.058463854226892126,0.05933499563453926,0.11326242480452856,0.08474802038583773,0.05928502688954011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038625986494017855,0.0972969337930686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05335987379161367,0.0,0.0,0.10662407018339964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14277063829211042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047580577401921925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11277375322997102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13826486112334407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04720740838962057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03943558905546378,0.0,0.0,0.1397415025881583,0.06382170886628097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052511028130785314,0.0,0.20945492751043346,0.04478186238801525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07402956358521955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037827043873808974,0.18180680175072209,0.1088515404466814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061362551702764376,0.0,0.13144935306169309,0.04422422632919661,0.044691467641295536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050274408799233096,0.18661248950810466,0.0,0.05370757863209912,0.0,0.04056141528612279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035878838284510384
addiction,isa122198,2020/01/23,"Pregnancy I have in the past month thought about my future and that i would like to have kids someday, but then i remembered that i have tried various drugs like mdma, lsd, amfetamine, shrooms and i have tried to smoke pot. Will that have an impact on my pregnancy in the future? I haven’t abused any of them, but have been using them in a “healthy” way, with breaks and in recommended doses. Please help, I’m kinda desperate to know if i have ruined my chances in having a healthy pregnancy and baby. Have been trying out those drugs for about 3 months. Took mdma once, amf a couple of times, shrooms once, smoked two times and taken lsd 3 times at the max of 300ug.",5.728081395348838,6.202791604651168,5.4258817829457415,84.88207848837213,67.06201550387597,8.93062015503876,27.752906976744185,8.841846274778883,1.8422627906976743,523,15,106,8,8,161,76,129,0.08,0.753,0.16699999999999998,0.8717,0,0,4,0,1,0,16.0,0,0,2,0,2,3,0,0,7,0,14,3,0,1,0,16,20,9,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,2,3,0,0,1,4,7,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,5,0,12,2,18,13,1,20,0,1,0,0,4,8,0,2,11,66,16,0,0.0,0.20761436852682785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11915981025710218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19388443384284895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40641347325398347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11745041395298335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09629972523640896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17121331976371165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27972772811780744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3732203230388436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672732147956336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19234572474545605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19849710213069388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391100129096572,0.3065273817417267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946827319093032,0.35690121950483705,0.0,0.17117051520071982,0.0,0.0,0.1513391579792981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13908638452075495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244756498422886,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Posting52525252,2020/01/23,"[27M] Looking for advice on how substance recovery will look going forward, and just general advice on the problems I'm having with sleep. Some of the timelines overlap, so I'll add a new line + year when something new comes into the picture or there is a change.


2011-2012: 1x Pack a week of cigarettes, Smoked 2 to 3 grams of weed per weekend.


2012-2014: 3 Cans of chewing tobacco per week, Smoked 1g of weed a day, no more cigarettes.


2014-2016: Smoking 1g of weed a day, no tobacco products.


2016 - October 2017: No more weed, 3 to 4 cans of chewing tobacco per week, and now 75 OZ of 9% beat 5 to 6 nights a week (increased to 100 OZ of 9% on weekends).


October 2017 - May 2019: No more chewing tobacco, but upped the alcohol intake. 7 days a week: weekdays 75 OZ 9% still, Weekends anywhere from 100 to 150 OZ 9%. Added in vaping liquids all day constantly (5% nicotine contents). Also went Vegan during this time in December 2018.


July 2019 - start of October 2019: 5% Nicotine still all day, NO alcohol at all (zero whatsoever). New habit - way too much Benadryl. Typically 6 to 12 (max 15) 25mg pills of Benadryl per day. 


October 2019 - beginning of December 2019: Vaping same, but cut Benadryl in half (6 max per day all taken at once in early evening). 


December 2019 - 3 days ago: 0 Benadryl, vaping same, but now taking 3g of Kratom powder in liquids per day in early evening. 



Past 3 days have been nothing except vaping still all afternoon and evening before bed. 



My major issues at the moment are ALWAYS waking up just so fucking tired no matter how much sleep I get. I have no issue actually falling asleep though. It really blows and I know this stuff I decided to do did it to me. Mentally I'm not worried about anything too much besides sleep and just always being in a state of wanting to get fucked up. The drugs and substances listed are all I've ever done. Anything harder than alcohol terrifies me and things harder than weed are things I could never ever do. 


Financially/Professionally I have no concerns because somehow none of this ruined any of that besides just hurting my pocketbook over time. I just sort of mentally and physically no longer have many feelings anymore. Barely anything brings me joy, and I just no longer physically feel life the same way I used to. 



If this doesn't belong on this sub, my bad. Wasn't too sure where to ask.",4.104591937069813,5.882431769911507,5.440294985250741,78.42119960668636,72.00884955752213,8.473549655850542,30.47590953785644,9.075114841892004,2.8090455260570306,1848,81,333,39,36,618,233,452,0.136,0.8440000000000001,0.02,-0.9943,0,0,13,0,0,0,81.0,0,0,0,1,30,9,3,0,15,0,22,17,5,3,10,55,44,21,0,4,13,0,2,0,0,2,7,0,1,0,11,13,6,0,4,3,0,7,15,7,0,2,6,4,15,2,54,34,19,74,0,2,2,2,1,22,2,6,44,191,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.07497097095892746,0.0,0.0,0.15014671024861365,0.06810150207512793,0.24631048585602375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06143762384567074,0.12785056346279206,0.0,0.0,0.05224422893118413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07619062348358525,0.0,0.0,0.18966344544709635,0.0,0.07182182165139843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06414639594263744,0.0468323398436556,0.0,0.0653731604558274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127158816197258,0.06617868800019247,0.0,0.08302147712425857,0.0,0.0613392091747683,0.0,0.0,0.4954633321651455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861954268597429,0.0,0.0,0.08909362347752342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522282960518617,0.1389868031662602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769094071502176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14204856549457992,0.08027669680264453,0.0,0.04366191476392038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224368728745331,0.0,0.0,0.16037250536347428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042221491293128466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05426438696232919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290287704834546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788937814655639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15484482312126427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16942757171815115,0.0,0.0592528503521523,0.22259672411982792,0.0,0.07209587861436452,0.0,0.07371649830541015,0.0,0.0,0.08181704870350649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07333898995796154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07351198605366717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04921662225494748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23064407079901034,0.0,0.0,0.05914431133597173,0.0,0.0,0.05437774918321863,0.0,0.184059727141488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08794724553586941,0.0,0.0,0.07240747724175714,0.0,0.0577634963044811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10207939420198577,0.0,0.07548103134058122,0.0,0.08959557013301947,0.08830004085651218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635288860114512,0.0,0.0,0.045313891096136406,0.12196160598837362,0.3081254111115648,0.0,0.0,0.0712183550739453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07802040447230822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049473344153079316
addiction,suslord1828,2020/01/23,"Changing My Habits I recently admitted to myself that I am a poly addict. I'll take just about any substance if it means I won't feel sober for some time. My three biggest vices have been weed, nicotine, and (embarrassingly) pornography. I call them my biggest vices because they're the only ones I use daily (the weed and nicotine being multiple times a day), and once I decide to indulge myself in one of these, there is absolutely no stopping myself till I've done it. 

I've finally accepted that I need to change.

Today is 8 days since my last cigarette (I'm using nic patches though), 2 days since I last watched porn, and about 20 hours since I've last smoked weed (probably the longest I've gone without it in months).

The patches have made quitting smoking/vaping nic not too difficult, and quitting porn hasn't been terrible, but I've been high 24/7 for months and I don't know how I'll handle giving it up.

Any advice, tips, or motivation would be greatly appreciated.",7.570967741935487,7.20269749462366,7.65109677419355,73.33664516129033,63.301075268817215,10.665806451612903,35.804301075268825,10.125756701596842,3.5479307526881723,778,32,141,15,10,252,120,186,0.019,0.8809999999999999,0.1,0.9183,0,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,1,3,7,5,0,1,6,0,15,3,0,5,0,27,27,12,0,3,6,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,7,6,0,1,7,0,0,1,6,3,0,3,6,2,17,2,13,17,1,23,0,0,1,2,4,6,0,3,16,78,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442797159302034,0.0,0.12932970531635488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18000343053703668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806785936398668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13514291152393532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800149408582095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560620607852545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13543876213934591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06691952458889744,0.0,0.0,0.14498162969948686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269610186057069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14591500761572335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398337625209013,0.0,0.0,0.13033689798804665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07273543346924931,0.3236457833109955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252316246501688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14416663110283826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112790821372416,0.0,0.0,0.098134950401725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14094714138135506,0.17936592990805164,0.10065721825181506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269437977156346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815384574577697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13067846291822605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3284408588964535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11064951417794143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950981866643822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13003201367633094,0.0,0.1543472869138164,0.0,0.12545117727358582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286137209524177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275795101651986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09401678276255666,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,SandThousand,2020/01/23,"Still struggling - need some advice to conquer my weed, alcohol porn issues for good  So, I am 23 days clean from alcohol and weed. I have dialed back my porn consumption a TON but last night I was consoling a friend who found out they lost someone while we were hanging out together and the stress of consoling my crying friend made me extremely stressed. After they left, my mind went on auto-pilot and went to the Instagram of a girl I like, and I opened a webcam site after that, and, well. 

In addition, I had a sex dream last night, and since I used to be such a stoner, remembering my dreams period wasn’t happening. It was detailed, nice dream where I had a loving partner. Then I woke up and felt utter horror. 

I know what will be said - delete instagram. I am one of those people that genuinely uses it for work and cannot so easily divorce myself from it. I have muted the posts and stories of every single woman that I know, so the only way to see a woman is for them to come up on a male friends post - at a certain point I can’t avoid seeing females, you see them in magazines, billboards driving to work, you can’t block/delete your way out of seeing the female figure - I need to get stronger about resisting the initial urge though so I have downloaded a couple apps that I think will help me with it, limiting my usage. At any rate, it didn’t feel good afterward, I felt like shit and still do. I felt much better having a few days divorced from PMO. Any advice would be great.",5.5006636329161935,5.840748146757679,6.062087599544937,80.59291903678425,67.53242320819112,9.378005309063331,28.223170269245358,9.2995712137729,2.2382485400075844,1169,35,228,21,18,380,171,293,0.099,0.6970000000000001,0.203,0.9871,0,1,2,0,2,0,35.0,1,3,4,6,12,19,1,4,18,0,24,7,1,3,1,40,50,18,0,3,1,0,4,2,4,3,2,1,1,5,12,18,2,2,10,3,0,5,5,6,1,1,17,9,36,13,33,27,5,40,0,1,4,4,22,16,1,1,17,153,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968002225031041,0.0,0.21522930623898784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369550603024961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742990975865742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08905846574470265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674169751595766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114195057518567,0.11061111529012407,0.12988269120352613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484171061450027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05091551587735478,0.0,0.2900552302208004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11040925180657978,0.23339515636183766,0.0,0.05261011635358339,0.0,0.0,0.16892002099789655,0.0,0.11101898784611662,0.0,0.0,0.08904617682164494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749519192241764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10510168583331786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11068106476848066,0.1641632704360631,0.0,0.0,0.1094077722345706,0.0,0.0,0.0983911038555556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10992285866540424,0.0,0.09088312939334764,0.0952820990942975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167543838805963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07402400793437884,0.14933135451866114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18899494939809686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06823500994809126,0.07658473704878864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06981074024919072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519137593433966,0.0,0.1928801114023514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11407026636549893,0.0,0.0957860701855154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3209704357560058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10336420020919028,0.08329774142223398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532038723297508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16083378359440245,0.0,0.2306965410767409,0.10527054808673668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06452268197411322,0.09893446042203456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17394005128460166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15985745645445776,0.0,0.0,0.09053885105476786,0.1866945749480638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14661748132271604,0.0,0.0,0.07153238199003828,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,meprobamatedowned,2020/01/23,"I did it again I bought again, after endlessly making promises to myself ans everyone around me, making everyone miserable, lying and stealing to my own little brother ? 

Do i deserve anytjing more ive busted all my chances, again and again 

I dont know What to do 

Im not even high anymore what's the point",2.2629297820823275,5.005512677966101,3.4971428571428578,85.00203389830509,83.23728813559322,6.083292978208232,27.072639225181604,7.447530270364453,1.881036803874092,244,11,43,4,7,79,42,59,0.17,0.758,0.07200000000000001,-0.7845,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,2,0,5,0,0,2,1,8,9,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,9,1,5,7,3,9,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,5,34,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2698789415483896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422525915822034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3189332756742958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17973870245351306,0.0,0.0,0.5200620291842967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.287519332537596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2939461229945514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14955503524969793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727448466733056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3632965715288488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572499571287389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,jeorgettec,2020/01/23,finally deleted the message thread. idk if u can be addicted to a person but I just deleted 2 years of thread for the first time. ugh. feels good almost. think i’m finally moving on.,0.2791666666666649,2.6240574722222263,2.483333333333338,87.94500000000002,99.27777777777777,5.7333333333333325,22.66666666666667,7.1686216300943375,1.4498666666666673,143,6,27,3,6,48,31,36,0.133,0.762,0.105,-0.0129,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,5,2,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,1,4,4,0,7,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,5,14,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31828347716297645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2923594243613508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14762559545481324,0.0,0.0,0.6396638214595725,0.0,0.24834413404465544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448852599679245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31031115767284273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549314001878219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18707851983105303,0.0,0.0,0.17024635394127854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18801502009170748
addiction,unhelpfuldirt,2020/01/23,"365 I am officially one year clean of self-harm today. It's remarkable. I never thought that I could do this. I'm proud of myself but also even more afraid of relapse than I was before. I watched the clock change to midnight today and I broke down in tears.

To anyone else out there who's struggling: I hear you. You can do this. I believe in you. I'm here for you.",0.3927485380116984,2.66751394736842,1.9875438596491253,95.85336257309942,87.15789473684212,4.430409356725146,18.970760233918128,5.82211442006289,-0.299273099415204,284,8,63,2,9,92,55,76,0.134,0.7809999999999999,0.085,-0.6757,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,4,0,1,4,4,0,2,1,0,6,0,0,0,1,6,10,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,5,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,2,2,13,1,11,7,1,9,0,1,1,0,6,4,0,0,5,45,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19864556680736184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17368720995704745,0.254515380761585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21137029233677834,0.2798619863845482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627744968835923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19832736377703825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20750651043540266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16406600310205954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799651019889297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19158156364773685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16832241824379102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591356043410482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596818442217355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19720202871957465,0.0,0.0,0.4709087292340369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159961598056443
addiction,Highwaay,2020/01/23,"Realisation. I realised im only really happy and content; also not bored 

when i’ve drank / tske diazepam or any other drug really. 

Is this addiction/ a problem obviously. I feel like i have nothing else to do",2.5176923076923075,5.433013076923082,5.90841025641026,66.59492307692311,84.8974358974359,8.248205128205129,28.312820512820515,8.841846274778883,3.4742882051282056,166,8,25,5,5,61,34,39,0.067,0.725,0.20800000000000002,0.6815,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,1,6,5,4,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,3,2,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,15,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3187880385079369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338533588693924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19886004132889026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33912188981136776,0.0,0.2442848095353877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478596200722932,0.20890954330291805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31129343687536315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3158707904686465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14286481226684775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28059110450159097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22240352333161256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798126584288688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3746717957529402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Adamintif,2020/01/23,Flualprazolam Been taking about 4 me a day for 3 weeks. Any idea how bad my wd will be? What's the best way to deal with benzo wd period?,0.2119999999999997,2.0159415333333364,3.256666666666668,89.525,83.66666666666666,6.666666666666668,13.333333333333336,7.793537801064563,-0.3146666666666671,106,1,26,2,3,38,29,30,0.09300000000000001,0.5870000000000001,0.319,0.8577,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,0,3,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,4,1,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,14,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597733895527219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3189544001799513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4008858803359835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24635867315634005,0.3938256664118463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.431231984565474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2872167803872893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.303214158109456,0.30641770044002026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,zyansober4ever,2020/01/23,"coke craving 3 days sober, without alcohol and cocaine, now I'm at work, in 6 hours I finish work, I just think about going to the place where I can buy some cocaine.

I do not know what to do to stop thinking about it, I am very bad ... damn addiction!",2.3701923076923066,3.5203964038461564,3.77615384615385,91.14384615384618,75.34615384615384,6.7384615384615385,26.461538461538463,7.1686216300943375,1.0847538461538466,191,7,43,2,4,63,41,52,0.18,0.82,0.0,-0.85,0,0,3,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,5,2,1,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,0,9,9,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,2,1,3,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,8,9,1,10,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,5,26,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3120913409555361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30595006469567354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390348172198725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18462921463140747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16270154638767764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28193164234362833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15733395938609676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2991053912190145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393458777849124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3668778953810031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23621392170024716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759671388954553,0.0,0.4168356872961561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,phantosam,2020/01/23,"Can I make it two days without using I don't know if this is the right place for this but I have nowhere else or nobody else to talk about it with. Only one person really knows about my addiction and they would just make me feel worse. The situation is that my mom is staying at my place tonight and tomorrow night which makes is very hard for me to be able to get high. I've been using daily since September and the frequency has been probably 5 times a day or more lately. I can deal with staying sober during the day as long as I keep busy, but soon enough I need my fix. The most time I've went without since I started was less than 3 days in early December, and I know this time it will be way harder because I'm way more dependent than I was then.

The thing is I could manage to do it if I was really desperate and I'm debating right now. I want to do it. Like sooo bad. I could do it very sneakily and even if she heard me she wouldn't come to check whats going on unless I made some sort of alarming noise. I'm trying to hold myself back because 1. its always good to make your stash last longer, 2. a little tolerance break is MUCH needed, and 3. I want to prove to myself that I can go without it but I really don't know if I can. I don't feel like I can and I don't want to, but I just don't wanna be dependent like I am. I wanna be able to stop if I really wanted to. Maybe I can but the fact that I don't want to lets me know I can't at this point. 

And I know Im gonna feel like shit getting high with my mom right in the next room. How could I do that. It shouldn't even be like this. Getting high is supposed to be an enjoyable experience, not something u desperately need just to function and feel okay.

I don't know what I'm asking for. Maybe some motivation to go just two nights without using. Some strength. Maybe someone to tell me to just do it if I want to so bad. I don't know

Thanks for taking the time to read if you made it this far",1.2027491255961849,2.7078161505882363,3.1052591414944364,93.25809856915741,79.25882352941177,6.571065182829889,19.957074721780604,7.432916251226849,0.30732877583465834,1524,36,363,21,37,512,188,425,0.111,0.82,0.069,-0.9698,0,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,2,1,2,15,14,1,1,12,1,49,2,1,13,2,91,98,30,0,24,25,2,5,5,0,5,1,1,1,1,25,14,0,3,14,1,1,5,16,4,0,3,9,6,50,10,47,74,9,50,0,0,0,0,13,17,1,16,28,234,75,3,0.1373378236208488,0.0,0.0,0.07485924978543487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05713803557810521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06419616292103764,0.0,0.0,0.05280215450325191,0.11467134611868372,0.08371986255567716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05915218716369267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16447961532124528,0.0,0.0,0.17714306912155334,0.07079463283474836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11472812883060345,0.0,0.0,0.07095334225735288,0.0,0.09071033723770763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671713722816933,0.0,0.0,0.1388842603251655,0.0981141686361291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10763001664839354,0.0,0.11707837517267357,0.057596225252130165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06151385703328255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21765742653776604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07417420839968705,0.0,0.0,0.061036083963016526,0.0,0.0,0.30190910467056603,0.05597432824306593,0.07746152352942584,0.0,0.0,0.07021861478727569,0.0,0.16774080854929801,0.0688242896044642,0.0,0.060769826067589586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299523693997003,0.18334812742518905,0.0,0.20696145492792511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608483991543136,0.0,0.0,0.0504795513269211,0.1527513840204226,0.0,0.0,0.0730301667422058,0.12888224394884815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046531831808149564,0.052225801771503634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059959045109460415,0.14348879481808155,0.0,0.06491431741466219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07403670120521089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868749459319091,0.0,0.17596425309495098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17592862645662827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0704876511746223,0.1136072669090758,0.07718673398953725,0.0,0.0,0.05818294613793111,0.052864683171158285,0.0,0.0,0.04860420921636782,0.14638384660093698,0.0,0.05741028506384485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05163047572992077,0.055193470181070375,0.060019655627116725,0.06322110803577602,0.0,0.0,0.04562057373647741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16016557878967647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04662168357352341,0.0,0.1341590977112946,0.0,0.0,0.17792367621620897,0.0,0.11331808766764367,0.24301622001566894,0.10901237184073273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0636567692126517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647775221176669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06997948768408296,0.04878042474279548,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,cheapreader,2020/01/23,Am I addicted? So in the beginning of the month I got prescribed Norco for a wisdom teeth extraction. I took them on a schedule for three days then stopped for a couple of days. I started taking them again for the pain and now I take them for minor pain and to fall asleep. I would cut the pills in half to try to make them last longer but I ended up taking all of them within a couple of weeks. Tonight I stole a pill from my mom and took it earlier than I usually do to help calm me down from stealing it. I know it’s not a super big deal but I get the urge to take them all day and I don’t want to keep stealing them.,1.0952736318407936,2.699500641791044,2.7664925373134364,95.11725124378107,79.8955223880597,5.959203980099503,20.12189054726368,6.816661863887847,0.09363383084577093,482,12,114,5,12,159,79,134,0.16,0.764,0.075,-0.9094,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,7,1,3,8,1,0,11,0,4,7,2,1,2,15,18,8,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,3,4,0,2,1,0,0,3,2,5,0,2,3,0,21,3,24,14,2,26,0,0,0,0,10,7,0,0,16,78,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17208693069804618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3493305213043433,0.0,0.30541323029820616,0.16274316279345538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13981404143460235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247352762724484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12625229667946045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580791227124048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14031014712449585,0.0,0.0,0.08675382688423214,0.12867415012631253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10537046720435468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18487967350392567,0.1259995853585094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33594097966599584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11173167253244116,0.0,0.0,0.13197513701318414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.474753894772306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35076885172718025,0.10717422967955212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17385667862005327,0.0,0.09310787807831317,0.0,0.12662299580382666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11213675793165627,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,hardcore_max,2020/01/23,"I think I overdosed There is no one to share this with that cares, to those that do it may hurt them, two days ago I bought alot of Xanax. This morning I was on a bunch of cocaine, percs and xan. As I was trying to fall asleep in my bed I felt my heart rate slow down and I felt like I was drifting away, but not as in im about to sleep, as in I could feel my body. My mind telling my body to open my eyes and call 911. I was hoping someone would walk in and shake me awake or something I didn't want to die in my bed overdosed. As I thought I was dying I didn't think about god or the after life all I had was a vision of my mother finding my body and I asked my self this is what you wanted so I guess this is it. And I guess I just accepted it for some reason. Out of no where I jumped out of bed fucking screaming. Scared to go back to sleep I was awake for a good 2-4 hours trying to sober up. 

Idk who ever is reading this, I don't have a moral of the story. I'm fucking scared I don't wanna die young. And definitely not from drugs.",0.5098706896551732,1.7971957629310358,2.209,99.886,80.5948275862069,4.9848275862068965,18.49655172413793,4.935628992294339,-0.7777213793103449,795,16,206,2,20,261,127,232,0.11199999999999999,0.76,0.128,0.7038,0,0,3,0,0,2,19.0,0,1,1,0,8,13,2,3,7,0,21,13,8,1,2,40,39,15,3,6,6,1,3,1,0,2,3,1,3,1,13,11,0,0,9,1,1,6,8,7,0,2,14,5,36,6,38,22,4,27,1,1,1,2,9,13,2,8,9,140,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10490523291796924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063610492204616,0.0,0.11118852603192247,0.09099959312081334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3943620848128159,0.0,0.0,0.12084293645007872,0.0,0.12066007528425242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944884302020884,0.0,0.0,0.07632239330897328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36846862970174543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372420143112958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704934923899093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05983852031879126,0.0,0.2272585018281041,0.0,0.10816470237245003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21881511265982334,0.0,0.0,0.06725789003744206,0.0992617273394738,0.0,0.0,0.26073955384523884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14023876777197244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11754276238031433,0.11654546511587005,0.0,0.12669020371099807,0.0,0.1278323365387342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359019962810801,0.05781713065061497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11949417934920477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08019327623169142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11837649655154678,0.0,0.0,0.12167782628479812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23696692137546896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234590930739229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23685987563707064,0.0,0.10027288611482416,0.09110735545345673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103438283772731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516607167697608,0.0,0.09395229065479603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16069625475364466,0.0,0.11560535190312522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13960527022195646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840685166280755,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,WishingUponAStone,2020/01/23,"Got brought on as a temporary employee from a contractor. I've been taking and abusing stimulants and Xanax throughout the past year. I want to get off Xanax, do I go to my manager or HR and tell them I need a medical leave of absence for addiction. probably going to go to detox then tapper from Xanax and try SSRI's to see if they'll get rid of my anxiety. I'm in sales and feel like they'll still probably look for a way to sandbag me.",5.6301098901098845,4.9944915714285765,6.938769230769233,77.73123076923079,67.35164835164835,11.675604395604394,34.683516483516485,11.20814326018867,3.8091389010989016,347,15,73,10,5,119,64,91,0.07,0.884,0.045,-0.2732,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,4,6,0,1,0,11,18,9,0,3,2,0,1,1,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,3,3,9,1,16,13,0,12,0,0,2,0,4,3,0,2,5,41,9,1,0.0,0.2513072348781442,0.0,0.23122345172732586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16225812613397822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724559140996576,0.1515263431067453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216300059132502,0.0,0.3616288716176743,0.0,0.16963805274643493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22458632950561785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036227556633826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17811300355027435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21367134183467015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15727160135215268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20247620325004895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4573655668802688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690185379378485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16938563759063954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15947497265620444,0.0,0.18538726991473986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440039358143112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510377670719314,0.16835739718367612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13658730358763366
addiction,Omg_its_dyc,2020/01/23,"Social Media Addiction Yeah, I know it is weird and small compared to other forms of addiction. I have just come to terms that my relationship with social media is unhealthy and I am codependent to it (to an extreme). 

The first thing, I think about in the morning is YouTube or Instagram, and I just waste time that I could have to get ready. I already know I have an addiction personality and social media has made it so much worse throughout the years. To the point where I have got angry and depressed when my phone has been taken away from me. I already struggled with anxiety and depression, and me waste useful time has just made it worse. From comparing myself to people to avoid my school work and eventually flunking out of nursing school.

I do not want to be bound to this relationship anymore. I want to feel like I don't have to watch every YouTube video and waste hours on TikTok (this app really fuck with my attention span). I want to feel like I can live my life without social media. I have done it before, and I want to do it again. I have deleted/disabled all my social media apps, besides Reddit and Messenger. I only kept Reddit, just to have something in case of downtime. But, I just started nursing school again, and I kind of think I will have time for Reddit 😅. 

I am serious this time. I do not want to fail again and I want to be an example that just because yiu have f*ck up before does not mean you are a f*ck up.

P.S: Thanks for reading this to the end! Wish me luck!",3.9303137606454506,5.622554542955328,4.591083221275962,84.68170327207531,72.29896907216495,7.397639324667562,26.39787838039743,8.04050195162591,1.5916118631405944,1176,40,228,17,23,376,143,291,0.17,0.752,0.078,-0.9695,0,1,1,0,0,0,36.0,0,1,0,3,13,14,1,2,9,1,30,5,0,3,1,54,55,17,0,8,12,0,2,2,0,1,4,0,0,1,15,18,0,3,8,2,0,1,5,9,0,1,7,3,36,5,38,44,4,26,0,4,1,1,10,11,1,2,16,162,51,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29803901039968395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20113084229021147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06971503248050928,0.0,0.09037755112007148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562065653335535,0.0,0.0,0.055552665075702216,0.0,0.15509168663648149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07850136256051554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.072760757943551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569821442105536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974942876966362,0.09325874252320696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08071509436174827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678187164803832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09215723201885936,0.1302081341999107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07751605645066277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08424922190251584,0.04761223190800224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07288585563587081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08974576420179498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489900397413237,0.10016652478326216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06436858214900734,0.08904409226108784,0.0,0.08047041983806325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17246087684996894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09926847025244588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0669918349703742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06930929854771045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06317882158014616,0.07957215049199583,0.0,0.0,0.08614833383311647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911557488400556,0.0,0.058380908180415025,0.0,0.0,0.19568136617834406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766885773393735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4644833363541177,0.0,0.07015716339924451,0.0,0.0,0.06450305276291074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526999930778177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08390126149790461,0.0,0.0,0.06054344515098702,0.11678624228203248,0.0,0.0,0.21255707985047406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07870799984733519,0.0,0.0,0.3225088591017557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479625313827297,0.08784711630406061,0.0,0.06634451704675677,0.0,0.18574072736431976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058685432482897586
addiction,esme2580,2020/01/23,"How to help a family member? I don't have any brothers or sisters of my own, therefore my cousins are my closest relatives. One cousin in particular who is my age (25) is very important to me. We grew up together, went to the same school and been very close all through childhood and teenage years. However, during 20's we drifted apart due to me moving to another country and studying, and him for most part working and partying. 

In the start, I would think the partying is something he has to go through, I did party in my early ears myself and have tried numerous drugs, but it stayed at that, trying. However for the past year I am really worried about him and his substance abuse. 

Although for the most part I dont know how much he uses as we live in different countries and he is reluctant to share most details with me as he knows I would tell him to slow down and be carefull. He is in raves a lot and told me about the use of MDMA before, he goes to these raves atleast twice a month, and I guess he is not sober in any of them.

My worries started when he came to visit me about a year and a half ago, and was persistent to get cocaine when we were out in the city, and it didnt end there, he ended up using it most nights of his visit or stayed very quite/passive on the night he didnt. On top of this he was smoking weed everyday, as it is easy to get where I live. 

Last year, he told me how he took magic mushrooms and after he has quit smoking (cigarettes) and doesnt feel drawn to cocaine anymore. Instead, I am now hearing stories of him using LSD and mushrooms quite often, he is still a heavy MJ smoker and drink quite a lot. I feel like he just would do anything to just not be sober.  

I am at this point where I graduated and now am looking to start my career, and I feel like we have nothing in common. Most of the conversations he starts are either about raves, psychadelic trips and parties, and I can't really relate. 

The numerous times I have tried to approach him about this substance use, he just dismisses it or gets upset with phrases like: 'its nice you think I am a junkie' or ' whats your problem? I have a job and a place to stay'.. that context. 

I am very worried about his habits, and dont know how to deal with the situation. None of my other family are aware about this. I mean they dont even know he smokes weed( that unaware). I just feel like I need to help him before it gets worst, I feel like I am responsible in the situation because I am aware of it. How can I help someone that doesnt think they have a problem? any advice welcome..

Thanks in advance

P.S. this is my first ever post on reddit so apologies for any mistakes or if this is not the right place to post this.",5.906703229737968,5.3219497769652655,6.254820840950639,82.69416301035956,66.76965265082266,9.267739183424744,31.944485070079217,8.548686976883017,2.2528089457647766,2116,75,444,27,30,683,248,547,0.07,0.8320000000000001,0.098,0.9126,4,0,8,0,1,0,61.0,5,2,3,8,29,15,0,1,24,0,50,3,1,11,2,94,87,43,0,8,15,4,5,5,0,3,1,2,0,0,23,35,1,1,13,1,0,12,13,5,0,4,12,8,60,10,68,70,16,78,0,0,1,0,57,29,0,15,37,302,83,5,0.0,0.07981984675714418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06583105082192701,0.059717504788936386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832497020668052,0.07064102974867488,0.0,0.0,0.06681077192297016,0.0,0.0,0.0554379730581093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0410667957926293,0.0,0.1146501003247202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770508353470077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945326093686073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07038502997309391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23686373843178016,0.06599481319888938,0.07812527953955127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193357795893223,0.0,0.0,0.04449580758860033,0.0609380471118229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12701676406021006,0.0,0.17031596157336185,0.19251032692816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05730303049496055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14078761494756395,0.0,0.03828668273912885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421324524198772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759284255975509,0.0,0.135465682502782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06685216307904386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14809436101494086,0.054913762096990316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16456256187003074,0.0,0.1189740328149366,0.0,0.056571999034294426,0.0,0.0,0.11454741737441985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07338330197027654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05377234858675567,0.07160132772798262,0.04952309673627487,0.049952382490167785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12644026475851566,0.0,0.06464123707169614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04565017610848117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14590556114373532,0.06431020389533894,0.0,0.0,0.14077005994618785,0.0,0.06368436201177398,0.0,0.12903949248397684,0.0,0.0,0.12892380477485513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21496189667980625,0.0,0.0,0.08631509689647555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05753174739520789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06817982712599585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15144849720890405,0.0,0.0,0.057080532497791076,0.05186303661184849,0.0,0.0,0.19073314968460425,0.21541538718015732,0.053800025462465706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05888244117800679,0.06202323449258724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294997303004945,0.0,0.0,0.039282715692405865,0.0,0.0,0.12874567173815282,0.07484812316954234,0.13721497625841245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909208183416711,0.0,0.22234201652032307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06245064103720816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04904457292565517,0.20524586400032355,0.0,0.14356849238192593,0.0,0.0,0.17353066093179334
addiction,DrowningInMyBathtub,2020/01/23,"Maybe he was born with it, maybe its morphine My grandfather, who has acted as my father my entire life, recently passed after battling lung cancer. For the past 9 months not only have I been his primary caregiver, but I've also been unemployed due to the constant care that him and my grandmother require. The rest of my family is generally uncaring to the situation. Since hes died I've found great comfort in the stocks of morphine we have piled up. I even went far enough to hide it so no one would take it to the fire department for disposal. As long as I can remember I've had issues with addiction, and I know what this process if forming habits feels like. I'm doing it again. I'm writing this less for advice, and more to get it off my chest. As a health care professional I know this isnt right. I know that my previous employers would be astonished to learn I'm now an ""opiod addict"". But I honestly dont care and just want to get this off my chest. No one knows that I'm doing this, however the weight loss and baggy black eyes must be cause for suspicion. Sorry to bug you guys and add some less than encouraging messages to this sub. It's not my intention to trigger anyone I just needed to get this off my chest.",5.466120218579235,5.803318836065575,6.2777704918032775,79.0267923497268,67.60655737704919,10.277158469945356,29.791256830601093,10.203070172399654,2.8229833879781423,972,33,194,23,15,321,148,244,0.105,0.754,0.141,0.9318,4,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,1,1,0,2,7,10,1,0,9,0,19,11,5,3,1,37,39,15,1,6,7,1,3,1,0,3,5,0,0,1,19,10,1,1,8,0,0,4,6,2,0,2,6,5,23,8,30,28,7,21,0,1,2,0,12,7,0,2,11,128,42,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28514575102573764,0.0,0.12779972470353804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458719209918543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09144657937705387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.400026238181494,0.134350262214905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413300618227737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13573220238779551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15327681079513542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13513389543542806,0.0,0.08638099938077619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232906605390408,0.0,0.06612786133574547,0.09343146766165653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433969108991424,0.0,0.0,0.20498630441852309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14418882156879018,0.0,0.12949582360718287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13901631200331924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365035704181067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874998702216038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237596619345127,0.06389401305589933,0.0,0.0,0.1157389216657484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627783904146862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10438981696705807,0.0,0.0,0.09697400619956273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17724401681246468,0.0994664354220805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12484726053795865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12913252639661627,0.0,0.14815174955546687,0.1116880467047334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081851258783012,0.14700567595691255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14640096507279735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833260966428246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713925663430655,0.0,0.0,0.1592585739174036,0.0,0.12123723732898865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18580911361664787,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,pvpvpc,2020/01/23,Sometimes i miss it. Been of alcohol 6yrs and opiates/suboxin 5yrs. I think I've done well and made progress in my life. Most everything i can do is back on track. Sometimes i wish i could get drunk 1 time or do some shrooms at a concert and that would be ok. But i know i cant do that.,-0.21255760368663346,1.8175203709677448,1.5675115207373267,99.59983870967743,87.22580645161291,5.478341013824887,23.37327188940092,6.868970318607317,0.524140092165899,221,9,55,3,7,72,49,62,0.069,0.7609999999999999,0.17,0.7003,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,1,11,3,0,1,0,13,17,5,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,3,2,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,3,1,8,2,4,11,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,3,2,36,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909294708252779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20932690873539253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173523015559422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27858426575707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24466141761041174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14222815264580108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14960966127780712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19228303653507384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25758918386184193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5384818841769289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17443302727661794,0.0,0.0,0.15873862444283932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447661100319136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3130493339790946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933833119930735,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Shananigans2837,2020/01/23,Some understanding Is there a subreddit for spouses of addicts? Not only to understand the addict better but to support each other through difficult times? TIA,6.8156410256410265,10.63683030769231,6.8515384615384605,61.376794871794914,72.84615384615384,9.620512820512822,39.43589743589744,9.725611199111238,5.655220512820513,132,8,15,4,3,42,25,26,0.091,0.589,0.32,0.8466,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,4,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,4,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,14,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6273850438603943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25449355874744706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21884861943563172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3265379427992567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677907021542142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5991206633479553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,disasterolxgy,2020/01/23,Addiction so i’m in rehab and i just stepped down to php. they have me on gabapentin and since i’m php i take my own meds instead of having the nurse give them to me like they did in detox/residential. i just got here and i’m already abusing my gabapentin i’ve been taking like 5 and snorting them all. this is my second time in rehab and i’m only 18 years old. idk what i’m getting at here but ya i’m struggling,-0.90779487179487,1.2236047333333353,1.1388888888888893,99.22807692307694,96.11111111111113,3.6581196581196576,19.145299145299145,5.369823440869387,-0.4635726495726496,326,11,76,2,13,107,58,90,0.083,0.875,0.042,-0.5267,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,4,0,6,3,0,1,1,0,5,3,0,0,1,9,16,7,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,3,1,13,2,9,13,2,10,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,5,45,15,0,0.0,0.3132765874738066,0.0,0.2882403840708161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917773976255901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381406547407381,0.2536412865037404,0.0,0.0,0.2114687637061998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583497709056985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29369425381599235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2774484797220558,0.0,0.0,0.20109185176410155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187184772821425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2764134247467344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3975991797087674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541766317375095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17026809586652308
addiction,victoria1971,2020/01/24,"Suboxone LongTerm- is it abusing?? My husband has been on Suboxone for five years. It has kept him away from opiates. The problem is the side effects, he is always tired and has no sex drive. I also witness him taking more if he is stressed out, which makes me feel like he is misusing. His addiction has taken a toll on our relationship, but I am trying to be supportive.  Should I pressure him to get off suboxone?  For me, it’s no better than the opiates as it still has negative effects on our relationship.  If he cannot quit, should I call it quits?? I love him but am at the point where I need to protect my own happiness. 🙁",2.8184604105571864,4.809413016129035,4.3176539589442795,84.18511730205279,76.09677419354837,7.734897360703813,29.014662756598238,8.575989854853784,2.313429032258065,490,22,97,10,11,163,80,124,0.138,0.698,0.16399999999999998,0.8276,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,2,0,0,5,3,8,0,2,5,0,17,4,0,3,0,15,26,7,0,6,4,1,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,6,2,0,2,3,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,3,1,17,5,15,20,2,13,0,0,0,2,16,10,0,2,3,74,23,0,0.0,0.2247280370794271,0.0,0.20676839032751101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15167909941797322,0.15782070588235506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17820128955379205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16774777787861567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19367436440958308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09590289453731883,0.13550034748786338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990947917017532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20190733367379776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926632235171606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17118465802107746,0.0,0.12660625535899322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14063796562540268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17929953826027167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18148865700040506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4034749672781076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4072693810873089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151470775855893,0.0,0.21726644292773445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21523536614138095,0.0,0.0,0.1426083000980922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179978625040815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12877353826663113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12214131694260345
addiction,The-Wild-Hunt,2020/01/24,"I’m addicted to sex/prostitution This has to be one of my worst additions ever and idk how I can combat this. It has ruined relationships I’ve had and ruined my financial life wasting so much money to pay escorts. 

It has been putting me down this deep hole of shame and guilt 
It’s internally killing my soul.",5.343852459016394,6.164014491803278,6.4132377049180365,76.24477459016396,68.01639344262296,10.034426229508195,31.643442622950825,10.125756701596842,3.1311934426229517,248,10,48,6,4,83,45,61,0.377,0.623,0.0,-0.9771,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,6,1,2,0,0,7,2,0,1,1,6,8,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,6,0,1,2,0,5,0,6,5,2,4,1,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,33,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.415241299542933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34454923951537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4214135521567066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690435758605464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28000807586791043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581102317417108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3829134645018264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4089480669624362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Addictnamedmom,2020/01/24,"Im an addict, my name is mom. I wanted to come to here to help my fellow addicts. Please check out this blog, sign up to subscribe. Its easy! Don't be a ghost follower! Let me know what you think, maybe what you'd like me to write about... I am a writer, I am also an addict in recovery. I want to help others find recovery, spread hope - and let others know that its possible.

​

addictnamedmom.com",1.5011944444444438,3.949042174999999,3.069166666666668,88.89027777777781,83.5,6.055555555555558,18.88888888888889,7.3871296695380915,0.5015972222222222,314,8,64,5,9,103,57,80,0.0,0.76,0.24,0.9505,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,0,8,3,0,0,0,13,16,2,1,3,0,1,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,4,1,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,10,2,10,12,0,5,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,1,1,42,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5669246922413954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13862632584664988,0.0,0.18782247592318305,0.210636783058828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493239450448721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15843692339361962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323830088190756,0.0,0.0,0.17217366876856188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18724557704300995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905350449241098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3545201311527509,0.0,0.08468907230186731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17415135660463044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030230720751508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19028403879328956,0.0,0.1954238139409444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11107439320607897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20449027287422536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210636783058828,0.0
addiction,randomusername9183,2020/01/24,"Hard liquor addiction 16M. Day drinker. Almost 100% positive im addicted. I go through handles of 80 proof in about 3 days and recently just upgraded to some 100 proof about 3 days ago(1 liter in at the time im typing this). Don't really have any intention of stopping anytime soon. also addicted to thc vapes and nicotine but not really worried about that. I heard large amounts of the hard stuff fucks up ur liver so heres my question: realistically, how bad will it be in the future if i dont stop and can i just keep the mindset i have with weed (fuck it ill quit later, be it when 18 or 81). Some stories of people who've started drinking a lot when they were young and how u are now could prolly help too.",3.09448356807512,4.9284146690140815,4.3151408450704265,85.20163145539908,74.84507042253522,7.8319248826291075,26.622065727699532,8.59863814320734,1.8953643192488263,561,21,114,11,12,184,105,142,0.115,0.812,0.07400000000000001,-0.7184,0,0,2,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,1,15,3,2,0,5,0,11,9,1,3,2,25,17,13,0,2,6,0,2,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,6,5,2,3,1,2,0,1,3,3,0,0,2,3,7,0,16,11,4,21,0,0,0,2,5,5,2,7,15,68,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4819902570932951,0.0,0.0,0.1306414162364978,0.0,0.14757745240984269,0.0,0.0,0.11785787309873486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002218724959142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12305420228717545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11766908090482756,0.0,0.0,0.2851392235191929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727255369714869,0.14437401380111456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724965706351489,0.0,0.0,0.08375812877171544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26404289695888084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09878414866883907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3183863573192689,0.0,0.0,0.13099604874313606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12529522863453482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217312295940424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650967244713837,0.15675429797002288,0.0,0.0,0.18882782428704592,0.0,0.14551767385186315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10431467660157917,0.0,0.0,0.24642867013347886,0.0,0.0,0.16871217757032722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593710721520928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496691823972164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Colonel_FuzzyCarrot,2020/01/24,"Relapsed Tonight Hello all, I just now discovered this sub. Over the years I've abused just about every substance out there and it's led to me starting over more than once. I still drink regularly and smoke weed on occasion but I do everything I can to avoid pills at all costs. They've killed a few of my friends and damn near killed me multiple times. I've refused them at the E.R. repeatedly due to that. I do pretty good for a long time and then, well, you know. I was just going through my closet looking for papers to roll a whole cigarette from 2 broken ones I had and I came across an old cellophane of something white. It was definitely crushed pills from days gone by. I snorted it, and I believe it was muscle relaxers mixed with painkillers. When I ingested it I had no idea what it was but figured if I'd saved it, it must be good. I'm absolutely loving the feeling right now but regretting my actions and not looking forward to the come-down. I thought I'd given away my entire stash many months ago but I was wrong. Dunno the point of this post, and I've read it 30 times before posting. Guess I just needed to confess.",2.0556333333333328,4.510358124444449,2.9604722222222257,90.53537500000002,81.08888888888889,6.061111111111113,24.48611111111111,7.333567415737692,1.110811111111112,898,34,183,13,24,284,145,225,0.165,0.69,0.145,-0.7240000000000001,0,1,5,0,1,0,23.0,0,1,1,0,11,13,3,1,9,0,12,5,0,1,3,38,26,15,2,4,10,0,1,0,1,1,3,0,1,0,13,11,2,2,6,3,1,6,2,6,1,1,11,5,23,7,27,13,5,37,1,1,3,1,7,12,1,3,19,116,36,2,0.0,0.1720470904338505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871764810781794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13642718451037786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235608497146838,0.1635990775156682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16607864554392746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250833654865438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09364679617434164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14224802547091014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223435441224194,0.0,0.1305030980979204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07342125256715734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11218692002434798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08252474334701063,0.2435862489385509,0.0,0.0,0.15996238322012293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639215427046576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3213010707812,0.0,0.07980222011639086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285040288287369,0.2438753826097971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131055397992155,0.0,0.0,0.14721756880700013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11590320573144987,0.0,0.0,0.1076694884396402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15237079817037388,0.15464120119729924,0.09839632993976023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13726798077673685,0.0,0.2781372069089054,0.14772818540791002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14524675083914093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12400637371600627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178779354564676,0.0,0.0,0.10277858448025386,0.0,0.11596286164575775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11527849994750836,0.2540149053323137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305589413342051,0.0,0.0,0.1621189385642161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15876155769343192,0.0,0.09350884061834508
addiction,evanat3,2020/01/24,"7 months sober today. I have 7 months clean off of benzodiazepines. I feel so free and everything is falling into place. Im finally happy. However, i do get cravings I can finally say no.",1.4025000000000034,4.099243138888895,4.262444444444443,77.32700000000003,89.83333333333331,8.435555555555556,26.644444444444442,8.841846274778883,3.1766177777777784,147,7,26,5,5,52,29,36,0.099,0.624,0.27699999999999997,0.8334,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,6,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,3,3,6,0,9,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,5,14,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436387289768984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370715401862104,0.0,0.0,0.5939329486782569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14163363669597492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2885809582190354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928243406022815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4327638215541858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28323195240596644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21558210618537926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569621675094306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Badbob992,2020/01/24,"Taco mania, my way of dealing with intense cravings today... I have been a heavy drug user for most of my life I have been in recovery this month and have been doing really well, all I have been using is a bit of codeine to help with withdrawal. I had no sleep last night and as soon as the sun came up I had one thing on my mind ""im going to go score some h and pills  go straight back to my flat and spend the whole day getting high"". I stick around for my man to wake up and she made me some toast, she reminded me I said I was going to make tacos tonight. I made up a list of ingredients and she have me some money to pick everything up, later on I am going to take my time cooking them and enjoy eating them with my nan. I am very adamant about doing this and doing it right!! These are gonna be the best can tacos in town!!!! I'll post too r\food later when it is finished if anyone wants to see a picture 👌",2.026,3.0907149846153885,3.5189743589743614,92.98769230769234,76.07692307692308,6.430769230769231,21.2051282051282,6.742157984588678,0.19126666666666647,702,16,165,6,15,232,119,195,0.012,0.892,0.096,0.9295,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,2,1,7,3,0,0,7,0,22,7,2,5,1,26,38,12,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,6,13,2,0,0,1,2,6,1,0,1,1,11,2,26,3,29,25,8,34,0,0,1,0,9,13,0,5,13,113,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076563925101683,0.0,0.0,0.13706210949931072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11839011427420848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16157749600102145,0.0,0.16809066012211826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760957360006063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992951347983969,0.15873186899580605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1785513231467473,0.1575453416391695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837443721103915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18617592727039425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044071995555609,0.0,0.4375112577043875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10319995864080432,0.16267320808439906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663093692151725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12550258942010611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10875052235713947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2913721231296946,0.10277329572079028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15546145936579409,0.0,0.1228939473299771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14448637307101586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433113832155844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474565739603826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863436552955424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13148586067021198,0.14645663194606248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12269072341114047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540768853022151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576303995929972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228796511672424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977863381756862,0.0,0.1459414743417813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13297692463178415,0.0,0.12703782141579922,0.09081295491572333,0.122210800685529,0.0,0.0,0.13843364865126978,0.0,0.0,0.1718971979365746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,suddendeath19,2020/01/24,"need some extra motivation today im 23 years old and I have just now started GED courses at a local high school for preparation. During highschool I was a total f\*\*\* up , dropped out and got into the wrong crowds. I was always a pot smoker, but as the parties got harder so did the drugs. I became a full fledged cocaine addict by the time I was 18 and was already arrested at 19. I told myself I would stop every year but the hand of doom has had a tight grip on me. I turned absolutely insane while mixing Xanax, drinking, and blow and while the supply and money ran low did some of the worst things I can ever imagine (robbing people that could of literally killed me, cheating on my girlfriend, trying to kill myself, and stealing money from the only people who actually care about me, my parents -over the years.) These decisions haunt me every day of my life and not to mention I have lost my car in October of last year because my addiction kept me from holding a job. I have now been in my room for the past 4 months, lost all of my friends, my car and girlfriend, with no savings. Sitting here thinking where I have went wrong. I am trying to stay strong but I have only been sober about a month and a half. I still have the urges and on top of being alone and thinking of my past it is so hard to even get my face out of the pillow these days. I know I have to be strong but it is just so god damn hard sometimes man. My goals right now are to drag myself up and get a f\*\*\*ing job, finish this GED course so I can keep moving in life, but sometimes it seems like I will never overcome this.",5.886369910282951,5.480319652173915,6.081697722567288,83.32187715665977,66.7639751552795,8.273567977915805,29.379572118702555,7.1686216300943375,1.547450793650793,1256,37,256,9,18,401,183,322,0.207,0.6970000000000001,0.096,-0.992,3,1,4,0,0,1,41.0,0,0,0,7,16,18,4,0,21,0,28,9,2,1,4,47,47,25,2,3,8,1,5,1,3,2,6,0,2,1,10,17,1,5,7,1,2,5,3,12,0,1,17,5,38,6,38,25,7,55,1,4,0,0,9,22,1,3,26,180,48,6,0.0,0.0,0.10247666501058894,0.22895738675299585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087608694158408,0.11588346769884272,0.0,0.08737848260341521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06401440371433345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070668383884369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384361987336199,0.0,0.0,0.1354482388740404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028718830779577,0.12178070112880827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935950408585789,0.09498945983215573,0.17695445296537035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08113209080699005,0.0,0.10972897991287944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679755446973138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18814043683053386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109510530992194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11343109213852115,0.0,0.20841661853182414,0.09333958276274168,0.2323606677618562,0.0,0.05771190587706002,0.08559888027544929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14834630880771324,0.051303609490292126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292662321709706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16763931856199285,0.11161124726667937,0.0,0.07786514427289025,0.08099180814647054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11019253787169986,0.0,0.0,0.1597328737458171,0.0,0.0,0.1166035137885916,0.0,0.20049187065362475,0.14560434086523244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896797627636898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062778552496736,0.0,0.09559907520866492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20771931137799285,0.0,0.07432810747684415,0.1119289302145898,0.08386280164603993,0.08779482080462922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06976537552015721,0.13457503166651608,0.0,0.0,0.06123340213897047,0.0,0.0995391955427124,0.10034356525811992,0.0,0.14259265044218855,0.1142230138157967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097347272179737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745975855076274,0.2296285005889673,0.0,0.2704974072434618
addiction,1001judista,2020/01/24,"1 month clean ! 1 month since i take speed and smokes weed,but still feeling light headed , a little bit better but not big change..still got problems with my heart and cant breath every night when go to sleep..when i will start to feel more focused and feel better",6.167243589743593,6.124715596153848,4.785384615384615,91.62628205128206,66.11538461538461,6.933333333333334,23.102564102564106,3.1291,0.004479487179486874,209,3,44,0,3,60,41,52,0.067,0.698,0.235,0.7859999999999999,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,1,0,2,3,3,0,0,10,9,5,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,4,3,2,3,7,2,10,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,7,17,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40065856932255817,0.2472897567091057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19084406018810246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34359009405494456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12873059383146102,0.0,0.1811603744643655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324641402605736,0.0,0.0,0.26841490036973153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270220693892674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3615955141609056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125638629686781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21673904292989266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873710355717519,0.0,0.2266731265925224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603246211583563,0.0,0.18089081451950614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17030698770915714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,_xxEdgyNamexx_,2020/01/24,"Need some advice So I quit vaping/nicotine almost a year go and I was doing fine up until now. I’ve been really stressed out about my exams, I’ve tried working out more, talking to my friends to take my mind off of it and playing my favourite video games but I’m having cravings for nicotine again. I’ve started to get some really bad mood swings and have lashed out on some people who have tried to just ask if I’m ok. The only thing that keeps coming to my mind is the feeling I had whenever I took a hit off of my vape. I was wondering if anyone here could help me out.",2.271750000000001,3.8320293416666686,3.6433333333333344,90.315,76.41666666666666,6.466666666666668,22.833333333333336,7.1686216300943375,0.6994833333333337,451,13,97,5,10,148,81,120,0.059000000000000004,0.8320000000000001,0.109,0.44299999999999995,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,6,7,0,1,4,1,10,0,0,0,0,23,24,8,0,4,4,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,1,2,3,0,3,0,2,0,0,5,1,12,4,18,17,4,16,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,7,5,63,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19462323183281055,0.0,0.0,0.19943651412652685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392618713358242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18619382366446424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662957365913844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17156433352054246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15901827096837667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070458381040977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15387557001550484,0.0,0.10405629365254498,0.0,0.11319093099399227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13349712940400296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770283664548286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40220284642797816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476794612360492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15147512379734354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13807699718148506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21183812466603613,0.0,0.0,0.2551823630978542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409710977790764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22814459163682024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974844689072395,0.1600825156320414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13231739523450115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212813474188773,0.2704420057287984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21598761010858328,0.14499560872073533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282567178822099
addiction,Neospyramid,2020/01/24,"Poly addict(17M) [New account for privacy reasons]

I have been doing any/all drugs (mainly benzos,hydrocone,dxm,stimulants) that I can get my hands on for a few years now and recently had to slow down on my usage due to new living situations and It took this for me to even realize how much of a problem I have with drugs. It’s been about a week so far completely sober(not by choice) and the hardest part of all of it has been the mental aspect.It is literally ALL I think about 24/7 and because it’s the only thing that I looked forward to everyday of my life  for the past 3 years it makes me very irritable/depressed when I can’t get high. Thinking about not being able to get high ever again makes me not want to live this is why I’m not going completely sober. I’m just wanting to slow my usage to once a weeks or so. I’ve tried to take my mind off of it but nothing brings me happiness other than getting high and it fucking sucks. I’m really hoping other things will become enjoyable again as time goes on and as my usage becomes less frequent. Any advice will help I can’t talk to anyone else about this.",5.664652825051057,5.470318977876109,6.4360176991150455,79.88342069434992,67.1858407079646,9.608713410483322,30.216473791695037,9.265573868473778,2.404805037440435,883,29,178,15,13,292,135,226,0.049,0.897,0.054000000000000006,0.4594,0,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,0,14,6,2,0,8,0,16,5,1,4,3,28,37,14,0,4,6,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,16,7,0,0,4,0,1,4,5,3,0,0,5,2,17,3,33,29,7,32,0,0,1,1,2,10,2,2,20,118,33,0,0.1142943223298744,0.0,0.0,0.12459768181516775,0.0,0.11168708898797644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07772405850362947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07991724764840842,0.11710803990508363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06967275805074541,0.25245819872898395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396708448447849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09844153234560972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650902557137393,0.0,0.09547824037949687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07549032196345568,0.10338575802081418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056632592797952,0.2388562643726801,0.0,0.06495609729375931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12166843141443914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766090750367999,0.36227468020575054,0.0,0.11352005103196823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08072945994626758,0.0,0.0,0.201847961172668,0.0,0.095978444996452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15258469533029814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11518179459700682,0.0,0.11540468390435504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08401947778573515,0.0,0.0,0.22077233743838945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10966848481043397,0.0,0.0,0.12171972311816275,0.0,0.08692598243128427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12376961318285085,0.1091068633360056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10936423068429654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732198695579039,0.11751359904761415,0.1128518547309658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847160704316274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593510628814856,0.09186544689677063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15186413828445744,0.1464703734930386,0.0,0.0,0.0666459384811425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269851975419978,0.07759834238562636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943047857919054,0.13482750514788291,0.0,0.18336002249155856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313284855809184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14720359258777094
addiction,cigarrette,2020/01/24,"6 Months Sobriety So FUCKING glad I left that part of me behind. 
Poly-addict would do whatever I could get my hands on, meth, hydros, Molly, etc etc 
6 months clean and couldn't be more proud of myself.",2.056750000000001,4.318883175,3.0599999999999987,90.935,79.75,6.0,17.5,7.1686216300943375,0.12124999999999984,157,3,32,2,4,50,34,40,0.068,0.76,0.172,0.6409,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,0,5,2,1,0,0,4,7,2,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,5,2,4,3,4,4,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,2,21,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985304271984204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186421850251068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6108169895299941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531644046055983,0.1430722096980353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975323534077908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4371594041606869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2965464120951388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945309508060352,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Flamewizard3000,2020/01/24,"My girlfriend is addicted to narcotics and I’m feeling hopeless Hey guys, I’m feeling really lost here. My girlfriend and I are seniors in high school, going strong for a little over half a year. I was really sad to find out that she’s become completely addicted to Fioricets (initially prescribed to her for pain), and she doesn’t even care. She is so depressed that she has already accepted her life as a “junkie” and I’m feeling really hopeless.
I talked about the dangers of the drug she’s taking but she just called me ‘square’ and that I would never understand her.
She agreed to stop taking them for me, but I still want to get through to her - that she has to change her lifestyle. But, as far as she’s concerned, she doesn’t see anything wrong with it and gets annoyed when I talk about it.
Sorry for the long read. Does anyone have any advice on this?",3.712728828058172,5.660733485029942,3.971124893071,87.83767964071859,73.43113772455091,6.9271171941830625,26.89863130881095,7.7094869923839395,1.5192176218990596,680,25,132,9,14,211,99,167,0.14400000000000002,0.7759999999999999,0.08,-0.9163,0,0,1,0,0,2,18.0,0,0,1,2,8,12,2,0,6,0,10,5,0,0,1,22,26,14,0,2,4,0,3,0,2,1,5,0,0,1,7,8,0,1,6,1,0,1,3,9,0,1,2,5,26,3,24,23,0,15,0,5,2,0,23,7,0,0,7,90,33,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3195546927308417,0.0,0.1432214985207305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16173798294194394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09966914019221253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248156765093563,0.0,0.12061040310311548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16186938823207198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14965912321200395,0.0,0.1494326570026331,0.0,0.15504620280316594,0.0,0.1536704817962214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12623611114739494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825990885442004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16996872248435374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680471694076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22232281211356186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13395763952025092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15314819476672806,0.0,0.0832961954400306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451222680817204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15485383627099966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352310489100892,0.0,0.14689650764608753,0.0,0.12970530129540273,0.0,0.0,0.15999287337689205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303986620830013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15595535944741573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14660453646069735,0.0,0.2816796337319977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14833147713657654,0.11679322869947956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640673769153016,0.0,0.0,0.11704689764152006,0.12253479734134635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22039708993493176,0.2356065877632193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525792026431027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08644776000550124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10411548128416367,0.1602456814968675,0.0,0.09438297348910796
addiction,not_monica,2020/01/24,"My mom is addicted to H and alcohol. Is there any hope? Can I throw in the towel? She’s been snorting dope for over a year and drinking daily for at least a year. She’s in treatment right now. She called me tonight (it’s day 2) and said she’s on a rapid detox and will leave within the next 6 days. This means she’ll only detox and get no treatment. I fear she’ll come home, use, and then OD since she detoxed and will have 0 tolerance.",0.3380645161290303,2.387549096774197,1.6133440860215058,100.06001612903226,84.91397849462365,5.0103225806451634,18.97741935483871,6.2581,-0.3239109677419356,338,9,82,3,10,107,66,93,0.081,0.86,0.059000000000000004,-0.2168,1,0,3,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,5,0,9,6,0,1,0,11,15,8,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,4,5,1,1,0,2,8,2,0,1,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,2,11,1,9,9,1,17,0,0,0,0,10,7,0,1,8,46,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23877294723173315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.234074416898139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14894661160111633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22365216810974006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18867330496579526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28250999587266434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21456414277038666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464674940348432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443313667270028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21970303215047146,0.2175443135050378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23191912153985084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385857996667197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25652305115041546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23293885792125804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665807317901877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870487916184138,0.2083458699694239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18118229894483973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891699452604573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28209381694132485
addiction,lilstrowy,2020/01/24,"Not addicted but scared I might become This week's been crazy, been hospital cos of xans and now pinging while tripping on acid and I feel so gd",1.035,3.637595862068967,1.8857758620689644,94.45556034482763,90.3793103448276,5.658620689655173,21.04310344827585,7.1686216300943375,0.7544413793103448,116,4,24,2,4,36,26,29,0.10300000000000001,0.794,0.10300000000000001,0.0023,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,7,4,5,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,2,2,0,2,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,15,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.46761212016456394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4737347912126888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168869031358294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4550416483431506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42944763213519255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34407288972635697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,chootitjaycub,2020/01/24,"Im screwed Anyone know how to score a free room at a motel/hotel ANYTHING? Im currently fighting H withdrawals with my mother in one room nodded out with her bag out, my cousin and his girlfriend are about to get high, i can tell because i heard the spoons clanking and i can smell the candle they use to heat their gear. Im so sick of this lifestyle and its gonna be around 35 degrees Fahrenheit with 90% chance of rain or id just go camp out somewhwre in the woods. I just need some advice or something because im SOOOO close to just going and snagging a nice get well shot from my moms stash and continuing this cycle.",4.8282874015748005,5.206661779527562,5.002824803149603,87.469906496063,69.0,7.2948818897637775,28.4734251968504,6.6274283507984215,1.218355118110236,494,16,103,3,8,155,89,127,0.079,0.8390000000000001,0.08199999999999999,-0.188,1,0,1,0,2,0,8.0,0,0,2,0,8,5,2,0,6,0,4,2,0,2,0,23,13,9,0,1,5,3,0,0,1,1,1,1,2,0,3,13,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,2,1,1,1,2,11,4,18,10,1,15,0,0,0,1,11,11,1,3,2,57,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17230851553186996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12329466577083513,0.0,0.1451053070317524,0.15697188607696458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21497936102582976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184251235807458,0.0,0.20042582899866426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186303277984548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7618705258029663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690685165481884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065166199312943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307471286983329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948638189443644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357481422214528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541209794405346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15229328324521738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585426563525563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,urasaucyboy,2020/01/24,"Can you be born with addiction? Well, let me clear things up a bit. I'm not trying to talk about addiction from a biological perspective, even though I believe it plays a really huge role in it, but I'm talking about I'll be talking about it here from a phonological prospective, and please do correct me because I'm still learning about this topic.

I'll start by telling you about my personal story with addiction, so well it's social media addiction.
First I always though that social media was stupid but yet still a cool things to have, that's just the impression I was given as a kid from people around me, however though, I believed I'd never use them and stuff but I did anyways because I though that if I didn't do so, people with think that I'm an outcast or something, so I had my Facebook account at a young age got super addicted then Instagram WhatsApp askfm and a bunch of other stuff that I don't even remember the rest of them.

Mom, as all moms are, was so concerned about that affecting my performance at school, but she didn't prevent me from doing that though because even though I was so addicted to many sites at the same time I did a pretty great job a school, and I don't know how I did so.

So years pass by then I just got done with them and figured out that maybe I'm better off without them so I just went cold turkey all at once.
Now let me break that down here : I went cold turkey from all of them but because I wanted to improve myself, it was because I though that something was wrong with social media for me, for some reason, so I just quit.

So I've been off social media for 3 years now, even though sometimes I do make Instagram/Twitter accounts for two days and then delete them again *don't really know why I do this but yeah...*
However though being all this time without it made me feel so goddamned good about myself, I felt as if I was experiencing life again, but that feeling didn't last long...

I kept questioning my descion for a long time since I even kept stalking some people even after I left so I just came into conclusion that maybe I didn't leave because I want to improve from myself, maybe I only left because I wanted people to feel as if I've disappeared, and I don't know if that sounds familiar to anyone but if yes please tell me because I just feel I'm so weird.

What's making me tell this whole story is because I've been feeling so bad lately about my reddit karma and then it hit me and I knew that I've experienced this feeling before ""social media addiction"" 
Okay so I've had a reddit account before this one and I loved it so much but just deleted the account at the time of a break down *I do this a lot by the way no idea why*
However though I really enjoyed the reddit experience on my last account and never worried at all about karma, I didn't even know what they were, however though, this all changed once a friend of mine told me about them and since then I've been so anxious about those numbers just as I was before back then and here I am back at it again and I don't like it at all...

So my question here, can addiction be something we are born with, like a genatic thing or something, or is it like a wound that will still have scars for the rest of our lives? Because I believe I'll never get over this addiction and at least I must learn to live with it and reddit is at least much beneficial than other social media platforms so that might be to my advantages, but still, I don't know so please tell me what you think about this whole thing.",5.119956466069142,5.4378221492957755,5.61106914212548,83.574619078105,68.35211267605635,8.426376440460947,28.53072983354673,8.224198915089428,1.7776338028169019,2786,88,566,35,44,897,253,710,0.061,0.809,0.13,0.9935,5,0,4,0,1,0,58.0,2,3,8,7,79,21,1,0,26,4,55,12,0,7,13,111,96,77,0,9,29,2,7,3,1,3,11,1,0,2,50,28,0,3,24,1,5,5,18,4,2,3,35,13,82,17,79,50,21,74,2,0,0,1,37,26,0,14,43,426,132,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4182560882838183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03547150347948309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04815966872493199,0.0,0.029807827080708105,0.0,0.0,0.03794966154830657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06555954499436834,0.035594197557647166,0.25986799912696856,0.0,0.10882475097961752,0.14408794462200894,0.0,0.03770269467133421,0.04654082506367597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04875726490519658,0.0,0.0,0.04509679651289932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02749276786092068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04362520283694344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19709659312559386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0417002359549924,0.0,0.0,0.12932979249790594,0.0,0.04093140272663663,0.0,0.0,0.03626098309162398,0.0,0.0,0.032935765827151166,0.0,0.022272370592915883,0.0,0.0,0.03575594932106654,0.06819007312408913,0.04699963070868052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04812398400254006,0.0,0.0,0.04230361176553979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11714142939612705,0.06949813933737918,0.04808839984784104,0.04513892367813892,0.09263505264183718,0.08718395070991099,0.030110768991744908,0.06248046801652095,0.0,0.07528599019949099,0.0754522648528047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03624242844336407,0.038475161789956636,0.040337455398054514,0.05691159727594342,0.04322004179112458,0.1284824354620948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045223602030400614,0.0,0.09985528015698583,0.0,0.0,0.06267578373736614,0.0,0.09863645323928533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079893429213017,0.028887133013756887,0.03242197059302749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11821685911096527,0.03722279661363951,0.0,0.14038453222749986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04336994829351696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551052004287892,0.045342160984751495,0.0,0.0,0.08192944357603144,0.04383065161920285,0.0,0.0,0.04829138238452066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628749779029582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07052781081266361,0.0,0.0,0.2607349730170709,0.0,0.13127436210047574,0.042162075014177,0.0,0.03017367256140954,0.0,0.13617721762865392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09760210488065434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027929303010267,0.14904169538726367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132856825515062,0.05463105517265866,0.4607204149354824,0.0,0.09943138275318064,0.0,0.0,0.04073470971511264,0.0,0.028942913321494974,0.0,0.04164323163302834,0.0,0.0,0.036818558403526234,0.0,0.0,0.07543268338367408,0.03383764149337496,0.0,0.0,0.07665882470952767,0.07903671478283979,0.07693373349605542,0.09518955321241536,0.0,0.08218743173491848,0.0,0.0,0.04329274699701385,0.0,0.0,0.046609118829626366,0.0,0.054904533910117286
addiction,Hamspamm,2020/01/24,I am fucked up Part of me still says I don't have a problem. I would say I don't honestly. I would say I have a life problem. I will most likely have heroin in my hands tomorrow and will he doing it for the first time before work tomorrow. I always get high on something every day. I get triggered and have over 100 thoughts some days about how bad I want to fucking get high.,1.7412115732368894,3.45951541772152,3.150669077757687,92.57493670886076,78.36708860759494,6.033273056057867,22.678119349005428,6.868970318607317,0.5338701627486437,294,9,65,3,7,96,55,79,0.17800000000000002,0.747,0.075,-0.8758,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,3,7,2,0,3,0,12,4,1,2,0,12,19,3,0,5,0,0,1,1,0,4,1,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,1,4,12,2,8,14,3,13,0,0,0,2,4,6,2,2,8,44,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14729357144977828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14780305222154708,0.0,0.0,0.1506297042374873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283245743793716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14914571977353427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505718444366078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3273014989426078,0.2774545779697017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3740595254159122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12503340058474394,0.0864822968417457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916937836027934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3387655924836693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4223166451474991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13627748852508087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14136720160607102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14053291469045975,0.10322091004950608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10441009683588423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12887157522447368,0.0,0.0,0.2514977249220211,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,martyrmiss,2020/01/24,"moving on i’ve been on probation with colors for the last 4 1/2 months and get off in early march. i was an avid weed smoker smoking more than a half ounce a week before i got put on probation, i drink maybe once a week but i have never enjoyed that much and always preferred weed. today i made the decision to quit vaping for the second time. the first time was january 18, 2019 after a year of vaping and i was successful for 4 months. since may 2019 i have been vaping 50 mg salt nic everyday without fail, and constantly made the excuse that i would quit again once i got off probation and just needed it now since i can’t smoke weed. today i threw out any pods and juice i had, and with the new laws i am unable to purchase anyway. i hope i can be successful for my health and my bank account.",5.743162917518745,5.183128865030675,6.531002044989776,80.49639400136337,67.09815950920245,10.189229720518064,27.31356509884117,9.725611199111238,2.163300477164281,627,15,130,12,9,208,101,163,0.023,0.8440000000000001,0.134,0.9553,0,0,3,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,6,4,5,0,0,11,0,14,2,0,2,1,24,22,9,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,11,1,0,2,1,3,3,3,1,0,3,11,2,17,4,19,8,2,30,0,1,1,0,1,7,0,2,20,83,20,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262837421687232,0.0,0.0,0.1032079414819237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12914401182378632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640080814298112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486755774644236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129094405095507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07929289794747174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427666371077188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613230640746702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15074059447610108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12371177210410544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2872144858577345,0.0,0.0,0.15247208943830615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422807063234092,0.1613061425766171,0.11156748005184276,0.11253459101501696,0.1170534016271395,0.1465791861737688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3232574907340606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15256949350468854,0.0,0.3228494540967532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510893253098921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17699513512790746,0.0,0.2877180223568384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434794429906061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14629964084726801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078121520765148,0.0,0.0,0.09773408685946418
addiction,OkIamBeingMYSELF,2020/01/25,"Am I the only recovering alcoholic who is pounding a 12 pack of diet soda right now? Or am I stupid? I can't drink alcohol, been sober for over a decade. I don't drink caffeine anymore either. But I did drink one at a restaurant a few weeks ago and it lit my little idiotic fire and made me feel good for once so I'm randomly pounding it away on weekends.

It's a stupid addiction I should quit (again). I'm wondering if any other people with addiction problems have done this. Drink caffeine like it's alcohol?",2.3252941176470614,4.587303882352941,4.237019607843138,82.85258823529412,78.80392156862743,7.609411764705883,26.86666666666667,8.548686976883017,2.19887137254902,404,17,78,9,10,137,74,102,0.156,0.789,0.055,-0.877,0,0,7,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,3,6,3,0,6,0,10,11,0,1,0,13,15,6,0,3,4,0,2,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,7,3,9,0,2,5,0,0,2,4,0,1,4,3,8,2,8,10,2,11,0,0,1,0,1,6,0,4,6,50,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3254003819200818,0.0,0.0,0.13229759143152647,0.4784958191837327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014924112271124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14801194789249722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14022154834113384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15273049521474807,0.0,0.5848171228215231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07546327187694109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12518048035424445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291406649408465,0.14958372002699644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14122019241204578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15894214006570384,0.10113296543321028,0.11350832322818907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346839819997304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14280828469127213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15874151295506336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12745528531599193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11971615458331235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16185094190310273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,throwaway_42__42,2020/01/25,"I'm addicted... to a child's show. *I don't know if this fits here, but I figured this is the best place to try to get some exterior thoughts about this.*

Just because it has to be said, I'm a 19yo guy.

​

A little (too much, sorry) backstory to understand this better ; I am someone who takes pride in trying to be nice to everyone unless they show me they don't deserve it. So basically, I try my best to be a nice person, and **hearing about wholesome stories/videos warms my heart a lot**.

Another thing before I go on, is that it's been about 7 years since I got into video games (and watching videos on youtube) so much that I pretty much stopped studying. That doesn't mean I don't go to school, it's just that I don't do my homework or learn stuff for test, which is a problem of it's own, but that's not the topic, so please don't call me out on that.

Last thing, is that I have a lot of struggle to have any IRL social interactions, even with my friends. I am way too easily embarrassed and shy, and when I see someone else embarrassed, be that IRL, or on video, or whatever... it makes me cringe to no end sometimes. Because I relate so much that I feel like I'm the one being embarrassed...

\--

So, it's been about 2 or 3 months since I've discovered a child's show that you probably all know either from your childhood or by name, *My little pony: Friendship is Magic*.

I never watched this show (or any like it as a matter of fact), and I always thought it was just a poorly acted, cheesy show for kids. And if people like to watch this kind of things even as adult, I don't have a problem with that, but I know most people do, so I don't say it. (Which is why i'm on a secondary account btw.)

​

About half a year ago, I started watching Disney or Pixar movie animation, like the 3 Cars movie, or the 3 ""How to train your dragons"", or Zootopia, and so on. Thoses are movies that always ends well and are mostly targeted for kids, but they warm my heart a lot. And after I started to struggle to find more movies like this that I'd want to watch, I don't remember how, but ""My little pony"" eventually came to mind. I realized I never knew what it was, and I thought about watching a few episodes, just so I could make my mind.

​

And about 2 or 3 months ago.. I did just that. I watched the very first episode (which is actualy in 2 parts). I cringed a lot for reasons said before, I realised it indeed was cheesy, but when everything turned out to be fine by the end of it, it warmed my heart a little bit. And I thought, ""Well, I guess I could keep watching one more, to really make my mind"". So I watched another one. And another one.

I think I watched like 10 of them. Each one is 22 minutes long for the record.

I ended up really liking it by each episode that finished. To the point that sometimes, just thinking back to some episode can lighten my mood. And thinking about the episode I will watch later, gets me really excited.

Since then, as of 25th January ; there are 26 episodes/season, there are 9 seasons in total... and I have watched half of it all.

​

And today, I couldn't seem to do anything else. When I finished watching an episode, I reminisced on it a bit to myself, and then, I just wanted to watch the next one, and the next one. I tried to think of what else to do, but I couldn't bring myself to do something else. I watched a YouTube video or two, or played a game for like 20minutes between some episodes... but then I really felt the urge to watch another episode. Which means that... I had no time to do anything else.

As I said before, I don't personally have any sort of problem with what people like to do in their free time, but... I really feel like i'm wasting my time by doing only ONE thing of the whole day...

​

I don't know what to do. I really like watching that show, I really really do... But I feel like I'm wasting my time by doing only that, and I don't know how to stop this... when I try to do something else, my urge to watch it just grows stronger.

Anyone has any idea, or even just thoughts about this ?

Thanks in advance, and sorry for the long brick of text \\\^\\\^'",3.3340551347610443,4.480949213349227,4.061358952670228,90.04707630051139,72.9570917759237,7.176907993386905,26.643104310046525,7.542262844301418,1.2170571955861438,3206,110,699,37,62,1022,299,839,0.053,0.804,0.14300000000000002,0.9975,0,0,2,0,0,0,186.0,0,3,5,6,45,39,0,5,36,0,64,4,3,7,6,136,117,69,0,11,37,0,7,12,1,1,1,5,1,8,61,29,0,3,30,13,3,8,19,8,2,12,19,31,85,31,94,87,29,75,0,0,19,0,29,24,0,27,54,468,146,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04715690808545277,0.0,0.0,0.0766900803527085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07198717859617901,0.234346660712752,0.2628121394443823,0.11766595427741988,0.1814364570914765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030246552318596912,0.0,0.07119424402349371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03326224018756056,0.0,0.05273857104874368,0.0,0.11042648345855499,0.0,0.09079186237531002,0.03825762018280954,0.09445166844450847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04417060164034182,0.04947489663951996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907496511890612,0.0,0.0,0.027897418997930617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168158447321256,0.0,0.153252728123928,0.0,0.0,0.08571323612872925,0.0,0.0,0.04133426181133575,0.03887692646086749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656166637801139,0.09270920117786366,0.041533849840602495,0.0,0.03953644391961077,0.03679468883239738,0.0,0.0,0.033420529498734565,0.0,0.045200371068564726,0.0,0.049168309795931515,0.0,0.034596862910741814,0.0,0.04765285958412754,0.04283158791128355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04875418925080089,0.15378054177822406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048832294818773166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038449129661194716,0.0,0.0450458844478896,0.1188655705533908,0.03526052237591082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25360033653378644,0.17342095776951136,0.0,0.07656280581096199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14710344435333794,0.0,0.0,0.08662387230781236,0.0,0.0,0.0942398940568296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13103280877042553,0.0,0.06905522507089319,0.0,0.1271965492008803,0.0,0.066725486460205,0.0,0.09200938749449113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.234498456440753,0.06579834398252422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04684350613596433,0.0,0.0899676217011355,0.0755413175318376,0.04519473497211828,0.04748359200246182,0.0408921877861075,0.0,0.0,0.044008287036920814,0.04663875103866669,0.12417435619386805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22169418297158655,0.044475771204954266,0.0,0.0,0.04900215704673482,0.0,0.12344296731316727,0.0343999893762482,0.0,0.04377875833230643,0.03447051585265646,0.0393798764617522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734880710452607,0.0,0.0,0.04409543160870487,0.07330364252998713,0.06660325911398421,0.08556527145195836,0.09684614732956463,0.06123556496096025,0.0,0.0,0.07233018080397922,0.0,0.09044397096809667,0.04951932865962809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03252415172984798,0.0,0.0,0.03982556583520069,0.0,0.0,0.11495307306246945,0.11087028007951802,0.0,0.1717075621306578,0.1008948593405175,0.0,0.04100291990292102,0.0,0.0,0.14684454181462211,0.04705158667421284,0.042256155770544,0.0450324379423393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03569185277623544,0.05102862408853931,0.034335679383677445,0.0,0.0,0.07778712436773158,0.0,0.03903303969378357,0.04829529830583661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2628121394443823,0.0557126439624089
addiction,AdamFromSkyrim,2020/01/25,"Weed is a life destroying plant for me. Hi All,

​

I wanna keep this brief, Weed is so bad for me, I spend too much money, I lose friends, jobs, hours of my own life over this stupid thing, I gave it up for 6 months last year, best 6 months of my life and then it happened.. The relapse, the last 3 months ive been back on it dropping myself into a deeper and deeper hole of depression, has anyone had issues like this with weed and any advice on how to knock it out of my life completely, Sorry for being breif. thank you",7.206944444444447,5.0966280277777845,6.928444444444448,83.861,65.01851851851852,9.751111111111113,29.007407407407413,7.554174236665415,1.5097607407407416,409,8,90,3,5,129,74,108,0.16699999999999998,0.731,0.102,-0.8309,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,2,4,9,2,0,4,0,7,4,0,1,1,10,11,6,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,4,0,0,0,8,6,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,5,0,0,3,0,12,4,17,7,4,17,0,2,0,0,4,6,0,0,10,59,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16100028284761264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17851596936795786,0.2001998393827673,0.11204155750263914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11520310532206288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12668926095154528,0.13756662231652106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17290407801582916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17274634946609946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14190641635669982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12729215347279715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14569556347485565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16225411934733838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719652643853916,0.16349757493337436,0.14644509189818766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686006411702954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4654957346729064,0.08049277256372726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843228279792231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3945264380755331,0.0,0.12111659289166643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18443386197084108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15168766367472736,0.0,0.0,0.10945835118345128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001998393827673,0.10609919310085712
addiction,this-name-isnt_taken,2020/01/25,"I need help with my friend suffering from addiction I’m trying to find ways to help my friend through her drug and alcohol problems. She is addicted to marijuana and drinks (she’s under the legal age). Any anonymous online therapy suggestions would be appreciated. Meetings or support groups are out of the question, because then her family would find out all of this stuff.  Any info would be great. I just really want to help.",5.112077922077923,7.7778685194805215,5.710389610389612,73.71415584415587,71.59740259740259,9.594805194805195,30.48051948051948,9.957137785484203,3.6256285714285714,344,15,56,10,7,111,57,77,0.061,0.6459999999999999,0.293,0.9633,0,0,3,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,2,0,7,5,0,0,1,18,11,4,0,6,2,0,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,0,2,5,2,0,4,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,8,4,12,6,1,6,0,1,0,0,13,3,0,2,2,37,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3668860924342343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17983328754415687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.228863616859484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025780158104116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16484405128427018,0.19514393575452174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15863336036426326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30759801707368384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600155093428674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18552222197866647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3383707117474357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477273139882568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16101509539864198,0.0,0.0,0.18850492688467246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078003677086612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19263299619830349,0.0,0.1909548705974432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19243551011115054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11424671872896172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925212049639763,0.1335677396122393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3586101812226939,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,lonergirl420,2020/01/25,"77 days sober. Will I always be an Addict? I’ve been sober for this long , but I still have moments where I’m like “I could really use a cigarette” and I swear I can almost smell it, and feel the sensation of it feeling up my lungs. When will this stop? Does this ever end? Ofc it was a lot worse the first few days, but when will I stop feeling like an addict. I know how terrible that sounds — sometimes I think this whole sobriety thing would b easier if there wasn’t so much stigma attached to the addiction thing, like maybe I’d view myself in a more positive light.",2.545652173913041,4.37885595652174,3.5680434782608725,89.9642391304348,76.39130434782608,7.382608695652173,21.065217391304348,8.238735603445708,0.933191304347826,445,11,95,8,10,143,81,115,0.128,0.691,0.18100000000000002,0.7737,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,8,4,0,0,8,0,11,4,1,2,1,19,18,9,0,3,3,0,3,3,0,4,3,1,0,0,10,2,0,2,5,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,7,10,3,5,9,5,15,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,3,15,63,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5403291337176046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16543985245209342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13747285897527206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319114476173852,0.0,0.0,0.2131011673170453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14458154220750913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14633224340643025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14944723490921344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506143605619859,0.11803026768353872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14053255503372847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090798334572145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421484212901299,0.0,0.0,0.14621086714683645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14046064490042814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659815720460072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145269207259925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10584153228957344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16340274372303715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319416263645056,0.2762557705199229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21952419736491527,0.10586367374821316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269348605447213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844576454485293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683691107721969,0.11736463082027745,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,JDtheRobba,2020/01/25,"Trynna quit smoking but I got a whole pouch and I don’t want to waste it So Ive decided I want to quit smoking, but I got a whole 25g pouch of port royal that I don’t want to waste, I’m crossing the line into addiction and I don’t know what to do, advice would be awesome.",2.2945238095238096,2.1068038095238144,4.6001190476190486,90.13446428571429,74.39682539682539,7.56984126984127,25.273809523809533,7.1686216300943375,0.8569714285714283,212,6,53,2,4,75,37,63,0.12300000000000001,0.7120000000000001,0.166,0.1531,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,0,7,1,0,0,0,11,14,5,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,0,7,0,6,10,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,32,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25588034976843954,0.0,0.2293664775983278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3754553783063774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12899642917008575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4993089881214565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41533327915551854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5241148465575846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667389424929573,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Dag_Z,2020/01/25,Addiction so....when does it become an addiction for you? Asking for a friend...,0.5057142857142871,0.945048857142858,2.632142857142856,82.42535714285714,131.85714285714286,7.114285714285713,17.785714285714285,7.1686216300943375,1.9916285714285717,60,2,10,2,4,20,12,14,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7609224720236595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3262676497849021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38544279849537616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30541202844809645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26963633701805034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,DreamWarrior_V,2020/01/25,"Have you been able to Drink like a normal person again? O.k. so Ive come from about 13 years of drug addiction. But mainly Crack was what ruined my life and I could never get away from. I am an addict , Ive been to NA, and have been to like 9 rehabs through out this Drug addiction. I have managed to change my life drastically and have been clean for the first time without the help of any Rehab going on 7 months now. However, I have drank a couple of times but never to the point of really drunk or have done anything stupid, plainly I have been able to drink like a normal person.  
When I drink yea its hard to just stay on one or two but I also don't overdue it anymore, and can stop without any issues. I kind of feel now that I am living a good life, and being ""normal"" that psychological aspect of when I drank before or the compulsion is not there anymore. Before when I was addicted to crack or drugs if I drank yea automatically I had to go get high but that doesnt happen anymore. I know NA teaches that alcohol is drugs and will always lead back to your main drug use...but I dont know is that really set in stone??   
Long story short I want to know if there is anybody out there...Have you been able to overcome a heavy drug addiction mostly to one of the top 3 Crack/Heroin/Meth and have been able to revert back to being able to drink socially or like a normal person again?",3.1008994197292097,4.513799457446812,4.3055448098001285,87.02454545454546,73.92907801418441,6.971244358478402,21.32882011605416,7.520522993642371,0.6318170212765959,1085,24,227,13,22,356,141,282,0.06,0.865,0.075,0.4752,1,0,12,0,0,0,30.0,0,3,0,3,15,8,1,0,12,2,35,25,0,1,2,40,49,23,0,8,15,0,2,4,0,1,17,0,1,3,9,10,9,1,4,5,0,4,8,2,0,4,14,2,23,6,36,31,3,34,0,1,0,0,8,10,0,8,22,155,32,3,0.3478393176908673,0.0,0.0,0.3791961992947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434688918401983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05563339533730048,0.057886035429113865,0.0,0.0,0.0946170655792968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20697788156188898,0.0,0.0,0.057248424125788434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06536129782814437,0.10698678578582464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11839425591144845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07359357525386939,0.05992655447852267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055544278246654866,0.07697551780307693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07119207784587503,0.08153301795232715,0.272600086020609,0.4840598122162169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03517560208531851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059174389186810776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07269267478203154,0.0,0.07907404008157667,0.05835022331089021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06151863197540924,0.0,0.06231914120923163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046629872502010936,0.07350226736883025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07261077523547657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244422448373915,0.1146980353313188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14741351814947729,0.13594937646492838,0.0,0.06142969804655095,0.061565370058286335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05552840496003727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10731005016677513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726469424456101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428196952785177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18223192525183896,0.0,0.0,0.06576411736426183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913390953901666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07091567598953076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07415008623291565,0.0,0.05816184896063685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08113116135809577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06795769407086326,0.0,0.0,0.06008429773573488,0.0,0.0,0.041032928356007366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13412187583159915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044799423246583335
addiction,pinkpetals-,2020/01/25,"Craving sex, might be borderline addicted. It’s been  almost 2 months, but it feels like it’s been longer than 6 months. I never hook up or have one night stands. The longest I have gone without is 3 weeks in the last 5 years, only because I’ve been traveling. My usual is 2-3 times a week. I miss the feeling of being filled up the most. I don’t want to turn to tinder or random bar hook ups. My sex life has always been great because I establish an emotional connection first. However I’m getting very impatient while trying to fight off the urge.",3.178565656565656,4.8701970181818215,4.409393939393941,85.21853535353536,74.27272727272728,7.7979797979797985,25.858585858585855,8.515128840125781,1.7879191919191917,432,15,86,8,9,142,81,110,0.078,0.789,0.132,0.7076,1,0,0,0,1,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,7,0,13,5,0,0,1,12,21,4,0,1,4,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,2,2,0,3,3,2,0,2,5,2,7,2,11,13,1,21,0,1,0,2,1,5,0,6,13,49,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21754026085727424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998216998461549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660425825821147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432891164618737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22446823907275915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017981632644181,0.14255941583755294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16973814721392186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10425726486650712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22000590044875945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162660860243839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14094891269028445,0.09749063570050416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21169228643315768,0.0,0.0,0.3185597250832917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539061859619602,0.0,0.0,0.18726528150405247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135221056298659,0.1517676783218807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11635990839518713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354821646658139,0.21705440102877416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21977745239206065,0.164650637173918,0.11770046686789735,0.0,0.3201358688420926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19236023402490385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285044290718632
addiction,tattooremove123,2020/01/25,"Quitting all addictions and brain recovery. Porn, internet, nicotine, caffeine, carbs, marijuana So I am try to kick these addictions as they can become pretty all-consuming for me. 

I am doing a good job with marijuana and I’ve switched from coffee to black tea. 

I haven’t smoked a cigarette for months but have been hitting the vape pretty hard. 

Porn and internet for me is the tough one. When I get bored I just go and browse for hours without even realizing. 

Carbs...ya I like bread, pastries, chocolate, ice cream. 

Granted I am in recovery now and attending marijuana anonymous and codependent anonymous. Also seeing a therapist. 
Quitting pot has been great for me but I do get the occasional cravings which I can ignore. 

My question is if and when I am able to quit these and replace them with good habits (ie. exercise, lots of water, reading, learning a new language, learning a new skill -guitar-, meditation, good sleep), what would I feel like?? I’ve never been without some sort of distraction before. What is my brain be like? Memory, cognition, social capabilities, emotional regulation, etc.",4.168087407073667,7.391537383419693,4.92405947285425,74.70539085379592,79.31088082901555,8.33061500337914,31.189231808965978,8.964715089967882,3.5699431854021184,877,44,137,24,23,282,123,193,0.064,0.759,0.177,0.9758,1,0,2,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,2,4,7,11,0,1,8,0,19,11,3,0,2,28,25,16,0,2,6,0,2,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,10,3,1,5,3,0,2,4,4,0,1,3,5,18,7,17,19,4,11,0,0,3,2,4,1,0,5,11,91,23,4,0.1266648327936154,0.0,0.0,0.2761667283531398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012938210223106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13989135627004695,0.10778244340160938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28279968794592786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14248088827241434,0.0,0.0,0.14126477090130354,0.08366092745569377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06404554531284087,0.09048938185658913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13235429447296834,0.0,0.07198654346882882,0.3187213565249908,0.0,0.13964842532110258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11346681067440875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12473934561414216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12569530184333552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18564611764537034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10768591126384662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10110266108286978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976917276896867,0.2446673696212112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583136881259207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577273435609646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14189360133764015,0.4041709234753844,0.12669911009625354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10093547238532632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12675630862102086,0.1291188457545661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14706763356452213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08599710696887321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442007575358925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08997906302499104,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,minjunk295,2020/01/25,"Can’t get addicted? Hello everyone,

This isn’t much of an “addiction” post, but rather the opposite. I don’t ever get withdrawals from anything. Grew up in Los Angeles, meaning lots of drugs and alcohol, so I’m no stranger to addictive substances. Middle school and high school, like everyone, was filled with pot, liquor, and experimenting with different substances at parties and what not. The difference with me is that I never got hooked on anything I ever did. I’d always believe I was addicted to cigarettes, weed, and etc... but I never got withdrawals. Throughout my life I always have occasional periods where I’d go sober for months, and sometimes up to a year. The reasoning behind that is the same every time. I either forget or become busy. Oh, I go cold turkey too... don’t feel anything. I recently started smoking cigarettes again because life was going well... and because I could. I am currently not being overwhelmed by life thankfully. I’ve been smoking kush, cigarettes, and drinking on my free time everyday after work or studies for a good 4-5 months up until two weeks ago. Two weeks ago, I wanted to see if I became hooked on anything. I’ve been sober since. I feel no physical or mental withdrawals. Now, I’m curious if this is normal, or if anyone else feels this way... Maybe I’m still an addict, but I get less symptoms? No clue. 

**Same thing goes for video games and whatnot**",3.349817275747508,6.1712561356589175,4.331478405315618,80.41970930232561,78.72868217054264,7.406644518272426,28.206533776301217,8.418075326091056,2.5714812846068655,1105,49,186,24,28,357,153,258,0.049,0.863,0.08800000000000001,0.9139,2,0,6,0,0,0,54.0,0,0,0,1,10,6,0,1,8,0,17,13,0,1,4,42,36,21,0,7,14,0,3,1,0,0,11,0,0,0,7,12,3,0,5,4,1,5,11,1,1,2,8,5,18,6,25,26,7,41,1,1,1,0,2,11,0,8,24,120,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4946554204908304,0.0,0.0,0.16088910611188714,0.09698433634068476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510228280188126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06345463120033902,0.09298427687930592,0.2987186407569575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106409266312752,0.1002264365029632,0.0,0.10224436869829084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245662895108762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896292317646776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08890062085746596,0.10524138972555004,0.0,0.07581012496316808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10121043192628408,0.0,0.1641774545449804,0.07646093500686307,0.173431359154539,0.0,0.08877108305568918,0.0,0.0,0.13765804303599113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14223965988236467,0.0,0.15472624443182728,0.07611693973005937,0.1451624075078483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09588254059503797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922985935562924,0.0443359506937345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715255206129278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09117074670682897,0.09885354302113968,0.0,0.0,0.0914548299924069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14487184500151326,0.0,0.06671181920571409,0.0,0.1399842564004311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891590172305397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08691358033233218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09330629254646727,0.08960484792634478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836880405491544,0.07231613863544042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07506948111929497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975424184465831,0.0,0.06423343973245256,0.0,0.07247320560399992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09432417765321968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08355056688109537,0.0,0.0,0.06029038268305183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10583431166014644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17729946554704262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05352680345336636,0.0720332634726352,0.1455886300698875,0.0,0.08159530443168017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06606720697337146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05844013622763941
addiction,sinwood31,2020/01/25,"Help to understand what I’m looking at Hi everyone,

I hope this is ok to post this here. I’m just looking for more info

Long story short, my ex had a long history of use. Met him in recovery. Weeks ago, he stole my car and wouldn’t return it. 

He “got it cleaned” but not detailed. I found a generic viagra in the dash in a shady looking plastic from a cigarette box. 


Well, I just went to the car to find something totally unrelated (he returned it 2-3 weeks ago) and I pulled up the carpet.... I could be crazy but it looked like there were little specks of crack. I want to reiterate... I’ve seen him in relapse before. I’ve dealt w this stuff. And I’m in the south.. so it’s not like it’s salt from the snow or anything. It looks weird

Then I looked under the driver side and there’s a penny, half all messed up, half normal. I remember from his relapses years ago he did something with a penny, but I don’t know what. (Maybe to break down coke/meth?)

Is this possible?  I didn’t touch anything because I don’t want to be connected to it. But if it is something, I can’t be driving around with it. 

Thanks",0.4769465905273762,2.6903921615720563,2.427532751091704,93.3458473295264,85.8995633187773,5.793819281155528,21.034766543500172,7.1686216300943375,0.5688688612697348,851,28,190,13,26,283,130,229,0.039,0.86,0.102,0.8862,0,0,5,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,0,8,8,0,0,12,1,15,1,0,1,2,32,36,12,0,7,10,1,1,2,0,1,1,0,2,0,17,7,0,0,6,0,0,5,7,2,1,2,9,9,17,6,27,22,3,33,0,0,7,0,11,15,0,3,13,113,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3203232185712012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982452774810408,0.10722879730801516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734270922805334,0.0,0.10249671704392614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617199968070372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150980997783776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11009195199643354,0.0,0.0,0.1320706078736353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09633734835993506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073717446575565,0.0,0.0,0.11963710775945105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06619787411331461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11769460152058385,0.1207256512292604,0.0,0.21319440765060266,0.6069016070152128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101132981355818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11801846423039625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13579277281152266,0.11536077431386482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13644988234854724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781920455501209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13788998233569666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11089703188973303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12539592600464705,0.0,0.104032804909197,0.0,0.0,0.14209271944189633,0.0,0.19324042378575407,0.0,0.10830180351128073,0.11166123126753832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07756784774542637
addiction,Lelouch_19,2020/01/25,I drink before class I have a hidden stash of alcohol that my boyfriend doesn't know about. I drink before leaving for class to make the PTSD go away. It's the only way to make me feel safe.,2.8991666666666696,4.029591250000003,3.4750000000000014,93.89666666666668,74.0,6.333333333333334,20.833333333333336,6.42735559955562,0.031333333333333435,150,3,34,1,3,47,32,40,0.0,0.919,0.081,0.4404,0,0,3,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,2,3,0,2,0,5,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,6,7,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,18,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748499530776314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416314904137224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43768684929613705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5038820162755839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13003923484542074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461627812852155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413408145469765,0.0,0.0,0.2723192073603337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34334272501276497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955989335481053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006326615324095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20413955317418692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,2niteonly11,2020/01/25,"Looking for some support Im ready to quit using cocaine. I know I can't do it alone, I do have people around me who will be supportive but no one that has been through this battle. Looking for advice, tips, and likely someone to vent to.

I can do this. I deserve to find myself again.",1.3500574712643676,3.5427027413793084,2.8282758620689665,92.00264367816094,81.93103448275863,4.55632183908046,23.459770114942533,5.46131890053228,0.3267839080459769,221,8,45,1,6,72,45,58,0.11599999999999999,0.7709999999999999,0.113,-0.499,0,1,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,1,0,0,0,10,0,0,1,0,7,16,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,2,7,3,8,13,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,1,2,36,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379177473482893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25216327511514586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21674145016667026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225287415920952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629912379991638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13380569020145128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11894798436041475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4089098504484404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16498273884707546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687926349833475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.258962144181868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20629279860730845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.552577646100383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21028139424296435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,peterpanthelostboy,2020/01/25,"Poly addiction from someone who is still using. Poly addiction is being addicted to getting ""fucked up"" if you will on nothing in particular. That's me. The never ceasing need to be anything but sober. I know that I am this way. I'm working on getting appointments for chemical dependency therapy. 

It's really scary, I feel that I have no control over myself. I don't recognize myself when I look in the mirror. My family doesn't know I am this way, if they saw a day in the life of me they wouldn't know who I was. I wouldn't be the son they know. Escaping your mind is a slippery slope, no matter what you use. 

Don't hide psychological issues, seek help.",2.3013076923076947,4.624183130769231,4.376153846153844,81.49884615384616,79.23076923076924,8.0,25.384615384615394,8.841846274778883,2.2120000000000006,517,20,100,13,13,177,84,130,0.105,0.8320000000000001,0.063,-0.8054,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,3,3,2,2,1,1,0,6,0,16,5,0,4,1,18,30,4,0,5,3,1,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,9,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,8,1,0,0,2,3,20,0,12,22,0,13,0,0,2,1,10,7,1,3,4,71,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5457893248440069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13733250671690012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18717622399872294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10762730988907476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15732475089929468,0.0,0.0843822984373979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15428291041210554,0.17438152054347564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11185980009720344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17418505277691046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3668635180348533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11787612952129828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14014174777317645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.168506731945544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374344741402228,0.1287123480721363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16013109128344818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691109333921764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414015011775482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13327493684606678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908480575768964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2882708947321402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649318064551485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12149459601778854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,anxious-princess,2020/01/25,"What do I do about my parents meth addiction? Hello folks,

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post but I'm feeling quite desperate. Since before I was born my parents have been struggling with a meth addiction, however when I was about 3 they stopped as it was impinging on their care for me (I never found out till I was 17). Ever since I have left home, I've found out that they've been taking meth on and off in my life  and ever since I left home at 18, they've openly been taking meth because they think they can ""manage it"" responsibly. Ever since I left home, they have been trying to cope with the breakdown of their own relationship as well as Empty Nest Syndrome (they believe I ran away from them even though I needed to leave for Uni. We used to be really close together as I'm an only child, I really looked up to them like my best friends). 

Now throughout my life they treated me excellently, except for one thing: if I did something wrong, they would always place me at the expectations of an adult and get ridiculously aggressive. We would have 4 hour rows about how I told a secret about someones crush in grade 5, and I was never one to put up a fight and I would listen to what my parents say, even though they continued to drum into me how awful of a person and verbally beat me down till I'm in a puddle of tears. I believe arguments like these have contributed to the reason I have massive anxiety about my character and moral upstanding today. Without my parents to judge me, I am constantly policing myself and verbally berating me in my own head to punish my action that wasn't even really that bad. Whenever they do find out something I'm doing wrong, they still use the same tactic, or instead take a passive aggressive negging approach. Since I've left, I finally thought it was time to stand up to them and tell them that they can't treat me like this, but that was met with shouting and blaming me for being a bad daughter. 

After visiting their house for the month on Christmas, I can see just how bad things really are with their habit. They don't eat properly at all, it's all junk food when my mum is a chef. They go to bed at ridiculous hours and sleep for ungodly hours. When they are awake they are yelling at each other and calling each other cunts. Me and my boyfriend have been forced to watch and counsel their arguments, and after attempting to leave and give them space they cry to be begging to help them. As a daughter who hates seeing them in pain and wants to help them I tried my best. However seeing them fight everyday for 4 weeks took a toll on my own mental health, and when we went to see my BFs family for NY it was a breath of fresh air. I didn't want to return to my parents, however I had to for an appointment they had organised for me with their world class anxiety specialist doctor friend. The catch though was that this workshop was to be held at my house. The thought of going back to that house triggered all my anxiety. So I politely told them in a message that I didn't want to go back and that with your love and support I think I can manage my anxiety just for the moment as I'm not ready to return to the house just yet. 

They called me up to tell me that I've embarrassed and hurt my father deeply and that I was bad miserable company on the holidays. For them to try and turn what happened on the holidays on me blew my mouth agape. I was so shocked that when they told me to not come back to the house in the call, I said ""fine, I will. Fuck you"" and hung up, which is something I've never said to my parents as I respect them so much. They continued to text me about how I'm a bad person, an ungrateful spoiled brat who will be a bum who drops out of uni (makes no sense as I'm doing very well at Uni), and that my boyfriend is manipulating me and an emotionally abusive partner because I stood up to them. I asked for one day of space from them and they went crazy at that too saying that as a family we have never taken space from an argument. After my one day of space I said I was ready to resolve this. They didn't contact me in 3 weeks, and when they did it was to tell me that they weren't speaking to me until I apologise. I said that I'm not going to unless you do for all the nasty shit you said about me and BF, and also get your shit together in your own aggressive lifestyle. They proceeded to call me deluded, a cunt, and when I finally brought up it's the meth addiction that's doing this, they said ""We know what we're doing kid we've been doing this for 20+ years and it has nothing to do with anything. Also you're a hypocrite because you're pothead lowlife scum"". I think the addiction has everything to do with everything. Their life is not balanced in the slightest and while we were staying there they would buy a packet of meth at least once every weekend or two. I know they are taking it to cope with their problems. But they don't want to admit that. Before we said our final goodbyes I told them I loved them very much, but they accused me of being compassionless. Mum started to cry and tell me that they are here for me and they are ""sorry for everything they did"" and that they love me too, then hung up. I'm starting to think she said that to guilt me because whenever I bring up a problem especially with them, they always incite me as the criminal in the situation, and that whatever they did just wasn't as bad as what I did. 

I feel like my heart has been shredded. I've been constantly battling that maybe I should forgive them because they are family, but then nothing will change. I've been battling that maybe I really am the bad guy and I've always been the bad unappreciative guy that doesn't deserve them. I'm completely willing to say sorry about standing up the appointment, I know that was inconvenient and even said that in my message, but I don't think it warranted all that aggression and personal hurt when they could have been diplomatic and asked me why I didn't want to come down or ease my mind about coming down. 

The worst thing is that I feel like I can't tell anyone. I want to help them, I want them to get help so bad but I feel like if I told my grandparents about it my parents would hate me forever for it. They'd hate me even more if I told my mum's sister since they hate each other and aren't even speaking. I dont know what the goal of this post is, I'm so very sorry, but I just feel so emotionally low and kind of abandoned by my parents. I dont know what I should do, I dont want them to be hurt. I've condensed things massively but this is the gist of my situation, I guess I am just seeking some outside counsel. I'm waiting to see a psych about all this soon but now that I feel essentially like I've broken up with my parents and my 20th birthday is tomorrow, I just feel incredibly sad. How do I help them if they won't accept they have a problem? Thank you for reading.",6.560425863641263,5.650616489620617,6.773353075572902,80.5860483815613,65.56406585540444,10.289010698071207,32.1649032662947,9.54233891841381,2.622635390906148,5464,182,1139,92,73,1764,448,1397,0.205,0.715,0.08,-0.9996,13,0,9,0,3,0,113.0,8,7,73,8,66,76,20,4,53,1,120,23,7,11,14,189,233,105,0,26,33,16,7,7,4,12,10,17,4,9,71,75,2,4,28,5,1,18,29,47,2,5,69,31,223,29,182,143,22,150,1,7,7,4,173,65,5,10,68,805,294,9,0.0,0.03923184312528221,0.0,0.1443861684197239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05295868473809374,0.08265453552966584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10132116337004192,0.0,0.0,0.02315240743347282,0.0,0.027248033547555024,0.0,0.0619097707897443,0.0,0.031109447345132237,0.07638235216305399,0.24882129975518305,0.10092264992041156,0.0,0.05635108225555077,0.07461089087122129,0.06949718325630573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13524262269455986,0.0,0.033759492932188474,0.0,0.03502769269239393,0.08556815974003099,0.0347168928676288,0.07156377408994292,0.0,0.02643692608401103,0.0,0.07274309705876736,0.04270849809122024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033891135657192865,0.0,0.0,0.1164196801391598,0.0,0.0,0.03388144311570914,0.0,0.07449220857766226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13121943581474996,0.08985404013337503,0.027897959322056867,0.0,0.08927573943325899,0.0,0.09364403649606988,0.0,0.1171955735408819,0.07096482190408099,0.0,0.10881645005637616,0.030263411461103017,0.0,0.040038689965035235,0.07261034209162352,0.051163895140627615,0.030611149677690595,0.05189834841838164,0.03176367325260622,0.07527236355534661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03647617119599601,0.06557139894155363,0.029280487165594206,0.0,0.0,0.13076343811495772,0.033982064322223574,0.03519609281533431,0.0,0.03923741700196518,0.1109700703255392,0.0,0.09964093306060916,0.0,0.0978247973885858,0.19103176011563736,0.10633998926363564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03448064622219582,0.09098637392706237,0.0,0.0,0.07012082761182464,0.1439034435873457,0.0,0.07016312761857615,0.11323662000644535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027805412833599663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965356173913032,0.0,0.02210225663639791,0.0,0.06653012503078504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033368714713007126,0.0,0.03343328680736896,0.0,0.026429371014105245,0.0,0.048681686101127865,0.024551839087726058,0.10215085887812048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06354296519603324,0.0,0.0,0.03526278375751005,0.08974913485757315,0.025182871295293847,0.03523308733585037,0.0,0.3308987173787221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0867353414268198,0.06918916952256758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06342353852795768,0.0,0.0,0.0950500161838933,0.0,0.033286313305418425,0.0,0.03521827277750511,0.03312057024044262,0.0,0.10606072544492123,0.034044249572930715,0.0,0.035549477217435274,0.0,0.028277133823614388,0.28347051035044,0.07899504327205717,0.0,0.0,0.1319283300549918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0679771832016807,0.1643415945990741,0.07443767340392278,0.03313552257716988,0.0,0.028055359505691862,0.07647280466025308,0.0,0.11119720874555344,0.04687313563745737,0.03529257037345144,0.02644297433320654,0.02768278840628148,0.0,0.03461544383137976,0.0,0.0,0.03757466237506845,0.03120730034709117,0.0,0.09958323902120177,0.0,0.1447050319551296,0.030484721589846782,0.0,0.0,0.08799152892661061,0.10608291275754736,0.09759596544244507,0.052573839107117805,0.019307645932577427,0.0,0.03138593442171582,0.18983737260451006,0.0367882167870294,0.06744182858917283,0.03601592319012673,0.032345231438837635,0.0,0.0,0.05719559919369365,0.0,0.08196163736217166,0.1562406826699371,0.0,0.05312027218970234,0.0,0.059542627452869534,0.06138958797301305,0.02987807763471125,0.0,0.0,0.031918410226371374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760768780555747,0.07240469466874164,0.0,0.02132279108420275
addiction,Chemical-Shirt,2020/01/25,"Alcohol, sex, video games, and pot. Generally anything to get an rush. These are my main four crutches. Is there any chance of actually cutting down on addictions or do you have to cut addictions out completely? I feel like this might very person to person. I hate that I feel like I hate when i commit one of my addictions but I also feel like I shouldn't half to eliminate my addictions  completely. I feel like if I just limit them I would be okay. Does anyone else feel this way or have any  insight?",2.648453608247422,5.153301113402065,3.8857835051546417,84.48022164948456,79.10309278350515,8.003711340206186,24.13298969072165,8.841846274778883,2.017870927835052,396,14,77,10,10,129,65,97,0.075,0.754,0.17,0.8564,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,1,1,4,9,4,0,1,1,9,6,0,0,1,19,17,7,0,3,5,0,5,4,0,3,5,0,0,2,4,2,1,1,6,2,0,1,1,4,0,3,0,5,15,5,9,13,1,6,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,4,5,51,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.12528150872526245,0.5598177271527093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372004341066917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10266638019264228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17460720433439586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976710338238802,0.13154168636184035,0.10564676919488958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692104413002085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11234723240345816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724599916931048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32456690044721304,0.36686215160308894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670738658061768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534996652428293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508822315531578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361921399971603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869944074972508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22419498226093465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10592791549678099,0.0,0.1019030019842632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911983041084684,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Dihprest,2020/01/26,"I wish I never done that line. Cocaine has screwed my life up so bad. I had a good job where I was payed decent wage and the hours was short. Then I met cocaine. I had my own place, then I moved into my moms house and she suffers with solvent abuse. So the cocaine binges are literally are so frequent it's become a way of life l. Work the week to get paid to pay debts because of cocaine. I'm in debt up my eyes. I should be out of debt by the end of February. I need to stop doing blow. I'm a smart intelligent man yet I choose to put this shit up my nose. I've never got money because I'm either drinking or doing cocaine. I suffer with severe depression I'm also on antidepressants. I drink and do blow as a escape from my depression. It isn't exactly the healthiest option and I know its taking a toll of negativity on my life. I need to stop doing cocaine.",1.1106507059545727,3.1194649668508307,3.4565285451197063,88.19104205033766,81.65193370165746,6.011172498465317,22.210251688152237,7.1686216300943375,0.7433607120933092,673,22,144,9,18,232,108,181,0.24,0.6920000000000001,0.068,-0.9868,5,0,8,0,1,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,6,9,2,0,10,0,15,9,3,0,3,22,28,12,0,4,2,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,5,8,2,2,2,2,8,2,4,7,0,0,8,2,22,2,23,18,2,25,0,4,1,1,4,11,2,2,11,93,27,5,0.0,0.18331011016751994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12372427039262494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291792478214228,0.18862373624640266,0.17086882313319124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665088931792523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15832554953391864,0.0,0.3031205137434202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370301735231508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08083137920817426,0.0,0.0,0.1297662808932728,0.12373845962942845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15236155936860096,0.1785185206846732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535292020321963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502645249192832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32783600332992097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18119849395095525,0.0,0.16443588665224335,0.0,0.2294360891286273,0.2386490628908013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16164260046461734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15552972465763915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17478213327157935,0.15881110787715685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25869470247903875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11632524157430632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228043157620233,0.12410177768257652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17791280386483765,0.0,0.0,0.11263321631616816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,TherapeuticYoghurt,2020/01/26,"panic attacks long story short i was heavy on booze and stopped for three weeks. Had 4 or so beers and had quite a big panic attack, i think. My heart was racing like fuck, went and lied down for an hour and felt ok. Is this normal? Im not sure what to make of it.",0.011578947368420243,1.922112175438599,1.3641228070175444,102.20302631578949,85.14035087719299,3.8,13.008771929824562,3.1291,-1.699933333333334,202,2,50,0,6,64,48,57,0.32799999999999996,0.604,0.068,-0.9526,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,1,8,3,2,2,1,5,4,1,1,1,12,10,6,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,2,1,2,1,0,1,1,5,0,1,6,1,3,3,6,4,0,9,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,1,5,27,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4738125740730152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999457778569562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19251714481827745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467687614087797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20507724455491974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22493799579689536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10173693013376067,0.0,0.0,0.18428835542014632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13900370899108178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20403376356734007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4886561954757863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2214918874967281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741003340514812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19626640696500916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13343359980349614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670398407379054,0.0,0.0,0.19304319378027632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,phase_101,2020/01/26,"Movies and series addiction This might sound weird but i really am addicted to those .
I watch about 200+ on average movies and i can finish up to 3 series in a week .
I lose sleep , time , and alot of things but i like it .
I do not want to stop because my life is messed up and only thing keeping me together are things like that which i like , and gaming.
I am socially ancipus i lack proper means of social skills , although i am really intresting and can talk about kind of everything .
But at some time i have to stop this and balance everything but it just makes me happy.",1.870789473684212,4.243105991228074,3.434298245614034,87.36092105263157,81.19298245614036,7.659649122807018,20.903508771929825,8.59863814320734,1.4492771929824566,449,13,91,11,12,148,73,114,0.102,0.737,0.161,0.8474,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,3,8,0,0,2,0,10,4,1,1,0,23,14,12,0,2,6,0,0,3,0,1,3,1,0,0,10,7,0,3,1,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,14,5,14,13,3,11,0,1,1,0,4,5,0,3,9,66,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3676790839939167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279972904082303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3031206516705489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17951753500437884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498925751087617,0.0,0.17560979084425107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911350777937943,0.2471629905960053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18866199596735672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11256670307429698,0.0,0.0,0.18369545062045686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788975191479333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282562609913469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.216066737173652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16875908159592484,0.34380896798461796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28197665732165994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355442688564717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3361053739674645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966675242723368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946664510078378,0.0,0.1352706650088598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,theamazingchey,2020/01/26,"I wouldn’t be addicted if I didn’t live here Was abused a bunch as a kid sexual and physical and I just can’t fucking wait to get tf away from my family.  I’d still do meth for fun time to time if life were perfect but the reason I’m up on this shit about every single fucking day is these people idgaf what anybody says.  Ain’t none of them fuckin sorry either.  It’s gonna be a few months or a year MAX before I’m out of here tho.  I keep getting high to pass the time until that is.  When I’m not high I have terrible PTSD flashbacks and oh god just oh god they all piss me off so bad.  A lot of fucked yo shit happened to me as a kid shit I can’t even talk to a therapist ab because getting those words out feels impossible.  I was abused physically, sexually, mentally, and neglected emotionally and when it came to any type of supervision.  All of the abuse goes back to my earliest memories, and a lot of it are just bits and pieces because I’ve blocked out a lot.  I get nightmares and anxiety over things that happened to me when I was 6 or younger to this day as a legal adult.  You know what the most fucked up part is?  It’s not even that someone was depraved enough to do such things to an innocent, defenseless child/INFANT or that my family pretended like it wasn’t happening when it SO obviously was (I had all the fucking signs, it happened all the time in our home, I’d run to other family members crying after being held down and forced into something, I hated/was afraid of that person and everyone knew it but nobody stopped it, and SO SO SO SO SO much more), but it’s that rumors have been going around since I was a little girl that I was being raped/molested by that person at home and I got asked about it frequently throughout my life (but other family members once I became an older kid and confronted them ab it trained me to deny it because I’d end up in foster care and that’d be worse yata yata)...  like a lot of these people who suspected it going on would come by the house all the time...  why the fuck didn’t anybody CALL SOCIAL SERVICES?  I COULD’VE BEEN SAVED FROM YEARS MORE WORTH OF TRAUMA, AND THE HEARTBREAK OF UR ONLY FAMILY NOT LOVING YOU ENOUGH TO CARE ABOUT UR SAFETY OR HOW YOU FEEL AND LETTING A MONSTER DO THAT AND GET 100% OFF W IT...  I’ll never be able to forgive that.  I didn’t have a childhood I didn’t get to be a child because even in my childhood years after the abuse had ended I still had constant anxiety and flashbacks and HAD TO SEE THAT PERSON ON A REGULAR BASIS AND PRETEND LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED OR ELSE I WAS CAUSING A PROBLEM...  I’ve got so much built up inside me and I still see that fucking monster, almost every day.  And it feels like if I don’t do meth and stay high on meth I’m gonna flip shit and go to prison for murdering this sick motherfucker.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stood over his bed with a knife or had wonderful dreams about just lashing out and killing him and every time I have that dream, once I’ve hurt him so bad and ended his life I feel a freedom I don’t even feel on drugs but then I always wake up and the good feeling ends and it’s back to reality where he’s still never suffered a day or even apologized (not like it’d do jack shit or make me see him as any less of a worthless CHOMO) he doesn’t even feel regret for what he did or nothing while I’ve been stuck living my life with the memories and the flashbacks and the feelings of sadness and anger and pure terror omfgggggg",3.4413809727876585,4.486624034818946,4.635389972144847,86.42214216841656,72.57938718662953,7.640068566530963,25.92468395114635,8.012643519586192,1.3923648167988003,2739,87,579,38,52,903,300,718,0.23,0.662,0.10800000000000001,-0.9990000000000001,0,0,5,0,4,0,50.0,1,4,3,1,41,45,18,2,38,0,55,23,7,5,10,116,110,73,2,7,26,0,8,5,0,4,7,1,3,9,46,43,0,6,14,4,1,7,20,32,0,0,30,12,52,13,77,66,25,81,0,7,3,9,38,31,14,19,47,384,98,4,0.05121050341216539,0.2427042901597125,0.0,0.05582700767346645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05127992182539197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04261124122681652,0.0,0.0,0.06964979680652235,0.0,0.0783517898819895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04558820529404015,0.047874907780563615,0.0,0.04811395370241707,0.07875543217645621,0.08551726257000311,0.12486979024539242,0.0,0.04357636657195239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05590860632198568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05229164966135028,0.058571173269743884,0.10442504245968556,0.05260729358668745,0.0,0.044113314201718205,0.0,0.05534036132391333,0.0,0.040887419938025985,0.0,0.056252333338277866,0.13210615264640949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059387925699314836,0.0,0.04277980441259199,0.05760492359336707,0.18142922376188375,0.10582827891043148,0.0,0.2029443271558488,0.0,0.12944117344695186,0.04893383058823494,0.0,0.0,0.2413835249945041,0.0,0.2071485538292236,0.036584793869993366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3314029964664205,0.1605322463836466,0.0,0.08731232770694353,0.04295294059624663,0.08191543549445182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264263952104657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16232012552008018,0.1027366207432576,0.0,0.0,0.05909004528383693,0.05482190306354719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045518248413232765,0.05665683455824645,0.0,0.02814395340496125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0523662093566979,0.14468597213809292,0.12509432612370555,0.051326377900956136,0.09043962546571496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17414935478436366,0.04621947872102227,0.0,0.03418340868369641,0.05191941265359465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05160814260051472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04087573524688914,0.0,0.07529122472796891,0.0,0.07899339451771185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827571835777486,0.0,0.0,0.109075029607857,0.0,0.03894789547861529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055455984768248284,0.0,0.07100583012456133,0.13414510889491366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049001535635888015,0.05986233803234165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05265292660500519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04072464775245524,0.0,0.0,0.12242442291980407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26283422918939725,0.04236185761728365,0.0,0.0,0.05220265913793838,0.043390493356762885,0.03942434744551563,0.0,0.05732596590425248,0.0,0.054583582863076435,0.1635870967050372,0.04281427390712054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04116106282330622,0.044760237176539236,0.0,0.0,0.05945934151072969,0.06804396590546119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20902879454515108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04620951404521358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05553560645667245,0.0,0.0,0.05218787801270049,0.03637847232287991,0.0,0.0,0.09893365558538324
addiction,justwantout_210,2020/01/26,"Anybody else struggling to quit due to poor support system? The title says it all. If I had a loving environment I’d be more willing to quit. Since I have like nobody by my side, I just feel the need to use cause who cares.  I don’t even like myself.",0.4752564102564101,2.7216462692307712,2.313076923076924,93.91525641025645,86.30769230769229,4.235897435897436,18.28205128205128,5.46131890053228,-0.4478564102564104,194,5,42,1,6,64,42,52,0.10099999999999999,0.65,0.25,0.8271,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,2,6,0,1,3,0,5,1,0,2,1,7,11,1,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,6,5,5,8,2,3,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,3,26,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652737829584837,0.2672794849250029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173494074495296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17184833614146422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13155628002227465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25422442230972553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348252043359837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19292230622276865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5534730315836489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20690786643665865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21522596416705025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719996343660057,0.0,0.0,0.2952524450424575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22471446767824346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,cottonpickercandy,2020/01/26,Conflicted I’ve been with my boyfriend for around a year and he’s been struggling with addiction. I love him so much and I want to be here for him but it’s slowly making me deteriorate. It’s consuming him. He tries to find every reason why he should do them. It’s ruining our relationship. I’ve seen people go through this before and I have ptsd from abuse I went through. advice? /:,0.8645454545454534,3.436230526315793,2.475598086124404,89.61964114832539,92.42105263157896,5.921531100478469,20.06698564593301,7.348242739294969,0.8467789473684206,304,10,62,6,11,99,54,76,0.171,0.779,0.05,-0.8825,0,0,0,0,1,0,9.0,1,0,1,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,6,2,0,2,0,13,12,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,4,1,11,1,10,6,1,4,0,1,1,1,10,1,0,0,1,39,15,0,0.0,0.2892482902836297,0.0,0.26613236231753595,0.0,0.2385561946235237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21732307129343165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20773245531697151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2056859018970486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231258927937784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387419040858228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203324084474788,0.0,0.1629553809917289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794600170569259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692455864721954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28536914476198616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.251001232634251,0.0,0.2620989656994615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552125301292122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16574489886293975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14399129232442018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263063872082962,0.220284905942451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15720854219072078
addiction,Dx_Sora,2020/01/26,My weird addiction to smelling burnt paper ashes How do I stop it? Please help! I'm getting so addicted to smelling it I can't stop sniffing it every second!,1.5888709677419364,4.280231677419359,3.038951612903226,87.07842741935484,87.06451612903227,5.680645161290323,27.10483870967742,7.1686216300943375,1.7533806451612906,126,6,23,2,4,41,24,31,0.198,0.653,0.14800000000000002,-0.1739,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,3,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,2,3,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,13,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6831247324468515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639835408928249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16369548304968784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21001014274546453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3439285716476353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5238949860751488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,bowtothehypnotoad,2020/01/26,"Help a brotha out Hey all, I need to vent / get some advice but can’t talk to anyone about this. 
About 9 months ago I got clean from a year long heroin habit, I always snorted and smoked. after it became too much to handle and I began considering needles, I knew I needed to get clean. So I did ibogaine and it totally worked, and I was sober for 8-9 months.

Flash forward to three days ago, I find a way to buy a gram of heroin and in a moment of weakness purchase it. I went through the gram in the last three days, all smoking. I didn’t  feel guilty but didn’t get a great high either, mainly just throwing up. 

Anyway, I don’t plan on continuing and think I can get through the minor withdrawals pretty easily with benzos and weed or even cold turkey. I just wanted to get the lapse off of my chest, and ask if any of you have similar experiences? It was odd, I really wasn’t enjoying the h and was super nauseous, but I kept smoking till it was gone . 

Anyway, I’m trying not to feel too guilty because that will trigger me. Hopefully I can just move past this. Thanks for reading :)

Tl;dr got clean, lapsed, and don’t want to lapse again. Would love advice from people who have been there",4.307243723849371,5.024406866108791,4.997968096234313,85.83494377615064,70.29707112970712,7.4812761506276155,24.560930962343093,7.413659706084162,0.9861064853556484,927,23,191,9,16,299,143,239,0.085,0.706,0.209,0.9879,0,0,2,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,0,3,13,7,0,0,11,0,18,3,1,1,3,39,42,17,0,7,10,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,3,0,9,12,0,1,5,1,2,5,7,1,0,2,16,4,20,6,30,24,7,29,0,0,0,1,7,8,0,4,17,124,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28468075161883066,0.2582432444243017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12120343642965264,0.0,0.0,0.09905595890345577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10185108383613777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361754122784218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879492387601935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878814042169749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962091580648934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424865427707574,0.0,0.0,0.14730336322457402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13313350962526607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3805150033825805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23300030679019146,0.16059417261835565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09763496058460001,0.15390114946432645,0.0,0.14467640684532376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187349349038634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289073324993088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314667090112744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325339246580672,0.1548169104093882,0.10707919914198707,0.2160148078285836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13905198954827674,0.10098450983658364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14819182316281135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457026007318329,0.0,0.0933155644401332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11707854823393166,0.0,0.13410708770958568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933350855361132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889573913549504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17183183773606603,0.11562065397210546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13503122924196542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060445314861174,0.0,0.0,0.10347494535829704,0.0,0.0,0.09380231358566006
addiction,DLPiii,2020/01/26,"Pain and addiction How do you deal with pain when you are an addict, I am allergic to aspirin and nsaids, I can only take Tylenol and I try not to take that",1.4827272727272742,3.247074242424248,3.003030303030304,93.12454545454548,79.30303030303031,6.824242424242425,23.12121212121212,7.793537801064563,0.9345030303030306,122,4,28,2,3,40,25,33,0.24600000000000002,0.754,0.0,-0.8316,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,4,7,0,1,0,6,6,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,3,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,20,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5902141218196237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790836948531208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20588241144043085,0.5760957833709595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4070710831247688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18379008677597886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Monovigma,2020/01/26,"Am i addicted to porn? Do i watch porn hours a day? No. But do I find it hard to quit watching/using it? Yes. Even if i violate myself twice the day before, i find that porn can easily get me started again as soon as i wake up for at least one session. I've found it easier to quit junk food than i have to quit porn. So am i addicted?",-0.6382432432432452,1.1827624054054056,2.368851351351349,94.55435810810816,87.1081081081081,6.402702702702705,17.35810810810811,7.645422480735847,0.2467351351351353,254,6,63,5,8,90,50,74,0.094,0.784,0.122,0.4696,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,3,4,1,1,0,2,1,6,8,1,0,0,5,9,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,2,10,0,10,8,1,8,0,0,1,4,0,2,0,1,6,42,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4104460897301957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.160189037613494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428146162703525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433902064220433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3441188039562626,0.0,0.2276357065767721,0.20640918248376705,0.0,0.0,0.09835417711137737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16863729035423464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18539082150895164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12756478637162433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6006892144914228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13324610969563844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264446147203337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,sumijuy,2020/01/26,"How do I stop drinking soda and eating snacks all the time? Half a year ago I drank about five cans of soda a month. Last week, I drank 25 cans of soda. What can I do? Without snacks or soda I feel like my day is ruined and that it's not worth being awake, so I just sleep all day, doing nothing. I feel like my productivity depends on the amount of snacks and soda I have, and I simply can't get anything done without them. I feel like I'm drinking soda & eating snacks to convince myself that they'll cure my other problems. I really don't want to eat snacks and drink lots of soda every day. Besides, I don't earn money, I'm still a teenager, and I really don't like the fact that I'm spending the little amount of money that I have buying such useless things that don't bring me joy whatsoever.",5.639149933065598,4.874742740963857,6.531044176706827,81.08979250334674,67.3734939759036,8.341633199464525,27.480589022757698,6.937597516519254,1.3060195448460503,629,15,129,4,9,210,91,166,0.111,0.812,0.077,-0.6595,0,0,3,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,2,1,6,9,0,0,7,0,17,21,1,2,3,23,28,9,0,2,5,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,6,20,1,3,3,5,1,8,3,0,2,3,3,21,6,11,23,5,14,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,3,15,82,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12300643348931485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15035137166022333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11419143130404405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684750360445781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14200435017856367,0.0,0.4078094000618505,0.0,0.4259724442804652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11691514912031245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21049063325891426,0.2974003452880629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724987692276084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131116587825505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711734710690377,0.13907857058840134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179726893013937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11076056917278344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331483633924324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13277896885743345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17779229495682333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13886480077510094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11081757814834682,0.11601340790641858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921890254320982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08091474639095765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184694847273657,0.0,0.11130858125992747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675282194098762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08935984422702327
addiction,parkster2222,2020/01/26,"ADHD Medicine Relapse Hey everyone thanks for taking the time to read. I just got back on my ADHD medication after a very long time and I found myself falling back into the mess I used to be. Things had been pretty great recently, but I think I realize now that my problem with addiction is a lot deeper than I thought it was. If it wasn’t one thing it was going to be another (beer or tobacco usually). I feel like utter shit because I was doing great and told everyone I’d be able to handle it this time around, but I failed and I’m not even sure why. This is just simply not the person I want to be at all. Not even sure what to do as next steps, it’s not something I foresaw coming in the slightest. Therapy hasn’t really worked for me in the past, but I think I’m going to give it a serious try for a few months at the minimum and see if that helps. Another thing I thought of was potentially enlisting the help of family and my girlfriend for support and accountability. If anyone has any successful methods they have used or others have used please let me know. I want this fixed.",5.445953635405692,5.479002018264843,6.551689497716898,78.0950579557429,67.63013698630137,10.208781173164736,30.54478398314015,10.035473477838034,2.8289371970495267,858,30,172,19,13,289,129,219,0.107,0.748,0.146,0.9216,0,0,4,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,3,8,13,1,0,11,0,20,4,1,3,3,42,44,15,0,6,14,0,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,16,10,1,0,8,2,1,5,6,5,0,1,12,2,21,8,24,27,3,25,0,1,1,0,8,7,1,6,14,121,37,4,0.10999173336142032,0.0,0.0,0.11990722475356826,0.26437737773445635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479815046301823,0.23067184557070314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690877740148892,0.0,0.0,0.09791596229332457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16915370714083575,0.0,0.0670499397507628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474813895719872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14529700505694956,0.0,0.0,0.21020362963803424,0.0,0.0,0.10369041719956247,0.0,0.055615125269338685,0.07857811629078619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12060025837522567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10551409319561582,0.12502167365957034,0.0,0.08797043710519338,0.2425325486717916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14745028069185626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06044858012310333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11247399952998588,0.0,0.05373640502333574,0.0,0.0,0.09733922278686093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935110383622724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11080509964439067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08779435218673888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169774562588794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453324513413184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10499955531752657,0.0,0.0960405389922602,0.0,0.12073789333322145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11190113557049468,0.0,0.10524723411881863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11002149868656208,0.0,0.0704635208906251,0.0,0.10860356719281818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08764917081132739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290493367181766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0846770100515165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12481731555752827,0.2073318139888859,0.0,0.08270009484767503,0.0,0.0,0.10126561022376636,0.12578513297339805,0.0,0.21922086064523408,0.14095652293292402,0.0,0.1746423001862539,0.19241119275939905,0.0,0.0,0.10510181481901712,0.0,0.0746771669054035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28499262675203874,0.12114035478256277,0.0907546992893616,0.12975194824822198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925043123896572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08007529188233582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,throwaway84857492927,2020/01/26,"I’m starting to notice a problem involving weed I’ve been smoking more or less responsibly since weed was legalized, I’m starting to notice that I’m sort of looking forward to my next toke and it’s hard to tell myself no sometimes. Mainly I’ve noticed that I’m staying up way past my normal sleep time on a weekend and I have missed some classes too. Definitely sort of using it as a coping mechanism for some other things going on in my life.

I’m seeing a therapist about that other stuff and I kinda want to bring it up. I think just talking about it with someone else will help me to focus. I’m just really scared that she is going to have to tell someone else about it. I think I can get a hold on myself before it’s too late I just want someone to talk to.",3.2182700421940917,4.5038943924050665,4.855126582278484,83.7050105485232,73.43037974683544,7.0388185654008435,26.457805907173,7.492282038375204,1.424061603375527,606,21,120,7,12,205,89,158,0.079,0.87,0.05,-0.6462,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,1,5,0,7,2,1,1,0,21,27,5,0,4,4,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,14,4,0,1,2,1,0,4,1,3,0,0,2,3,13,0,24,24,5,19,0,1,2,0,7,7,0,6,8,78,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11778159714249478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23125717380951796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723165095339707,0.0,0.1573297059324169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239933124739069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09277715064057716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15613897997799564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977671282804222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11623435794527953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472067062871449,0.0,0.13561803353568178,0.0,0.4727617009850696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13213348276014245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13244516658129396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867266527619495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385782992707549,0.0,0.11029942141484612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144989277581956,0.0,0.13851569890322127,0.0,0.3518376136240149,0.0,0.13689670289091327,0.0,0.1959427417354598,0.147532758536844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15845290286213284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225066521508456,0.24196290961637465,0.0,0.0,0.1607113387163938,0.09195726503518356,0.17738243020709474,0.0,0.0,0.08071132918753329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11954675496745487,0.0,0.0,0.16328237548344698,0.10986796908098552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,elysgaard,2020/01/26,"I am the disease! Hi.

In case you should've forgotten me...... I'm in fact your disease.

I hate meetings... I hate higer powers.... I hate anyone who sticks to a PROGRAM.
To all of you who comes into contact with me; I wish you death and disaster.
Allow me to introduce myself, I am the disease:

**ADDICTON**

I'm cunning, overwhelming, and powerful. That's how I am. I've killed millions of people and I'm proud of it.

I love to suprise you. I love to pretend I'm your friend and your lover.
Have I not comforted you? I was there for you when you were lonely, wasn't I? Didn't you reach out to me when you wished to die?
I were there and I love to make you suffer. I love to make you cry but most of all I love to make you so numb that you can't even cry or feel pain. To the point where you can't feel anything at all.....

It's pure satisfaction. And the only thing I ask in return is that you prolong your suffering.

I've always been there for you. When everyting went well you invited me inside. You said you didn't deserve to feel good and I were the only one who agreed with you. Together we were able to destroy everything good in your life.

People don't take me serious. They take things like strokes and cardiac arrest serious; even diabetus they take serious.

Idiots.

Without my help these things wouldn't even be possible. I'm a hated disease and yet I never enter without an invitation.
You choose for me to be there with you. Many, many people have chosen me instead of peace and reality.

I hate everyone with a 12 step program, much more than you hate me.
Your program, your meetings, your higher power. All these things make me weak and I can't function as I normally can.
Now I have to just lie here, all quiet.
You don't see me but I'm growing larger than ever before.
I can live when you only exist. But when you live I can only exist.
But I'm here....

Yours truly... Your disease.",0.2569774466371335,2.6597293795811545,2.3184554973822,91.52472714458321,91.59162303664922,5.242126459927508,19.91159887233185,6.844919456158928,0.4951093838099072,1461,48,304,22,52,487,170,382,0.182,0.679,0.139,-0.9684,3,2,0,0,0,0,77.0,1,36,2,4,23,32,9,1,9,0,27,11,0,6,9,52,62,24,3,4,9,0,4,1,2,1,5,2,0,0,14,19,0,0,4,1,0,5,13,19,1,2,11,7,77,13,39,48,8,24,0,4,1,6,56,9,0,2,11,217,91,3,0.0847274008057344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07049998484093513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059243368653562375,0.0,0.0697234316207047,0.0,0.07920868239498267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07209677761774025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298515351736183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18613814258571895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08793366530490307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16788494744711802,0.07664078476402668,0.0,0.08096066238287299,0.0761475245898521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12852215886278134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06546017968710538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421306478630925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5019046027661656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05679099078312597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09373831558274368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059845468876016474,0.04139352828735759,0.0,0.1496316943788099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3823489360288032,0.0,0.2262247918275093,0.1718005718512199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06228438845189925,0.0,0.06534699477995885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08301486345908607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05741347954833336,0.2577560251026599,0.09015592818322513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17621793463209026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.080094780077581,0.0955174138825633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08059516054580933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675167687486084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911133828523401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251564810946255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07618010867613162,0.07854314939442085,0.0,0.0,0.194864659003721,0.1633483817447588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,i-Quick-Scoped-JFK,2020/01/26,"I am so in love with getting high, and I hate i so much I want to die. I dont want to stop but I hate who I've become",-3.044946236559141,-2.162571838709676,1.0012903225806475,106.28860215053764,89.96774193548387,4.133333333333334,13.559139784946234,3.1291,-1.7879118279569894,87,1,29,0,3,33,21,31,0.302,0.491,0.207,-0.726,0,0,0,0,0,1,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,8,4,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,6,1,4,8,1,3,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,18,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3135813745799891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29467732939953856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33276702557984955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14834312390352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5606495435835586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2999905007809459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562603593903424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087232141256569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23738046213586986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3349417417087014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,rapunzelsasshair,2020/01/26,"Has anyone here recovered from addiction 100% by yourself? I was thinking usually when you start the fight against addiction it's because of someone else or even your reaction to someone else, but does anyone have any stories of a time you beat addiction completely on your own without any external pressures? Is this possible without some form of seeing how other people are reacting to your addiction?",9.789347826086958,10.690233115942037,9.094021739130431,60.58711956521742,58.42028985507246,13.2768115942029,47.68478260869566,12.602617957971056,6.956156521739133,331,21,44,11,4,105,55,69,0.026000000000000002,0.93,0.043,0.2921,0,0,0,0,1,0,5.0,0,5,0,1,4,2,1,1,2,0,5,4,0,2,0,8,8,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,6,0,11,7,3,5,0,0,1,0,6,1,0,2,4,36,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6918590526488105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21579090678473484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22188001591534184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671875045782452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16635386112944844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13884599577385168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26508312183338184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479461149860683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999610316269484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788673213063573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264328992844407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26886722823622233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11230162685160776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10166406426037836,0.0,0.0,0.09251696176991203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17474353874350385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3058885944958249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,SarahWSP,2020/01/26,"Addiction: When the Solution Becomes the Problem [Addiction: When the Solution Becomes the Problem](https://womenspecificrecovery.com/addiction-when-the-solution-becomes-the-problem/)

For most people, the idea that something such as drug addiction could invade their life would be unthinkable. So devastating. All-encompassing. Turning their world totally upside down and inside out. It would seem as unlikely an event, like a trip to the moon.

This is one of my first posts...I hope you don't mind me posting it here! I'd love some feedback.

Sarah",6.548181818181818,10.43457290909091,5.900454545454547,67.00818181818184,75.5909090909091,9.10909090909091,33.0,9.339509955726095,4.259759090909092,448,22,62,13,11,137,67,88,0.08,0.76,0.16,0.7351,0,0,2,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,2,1,5,4,0,0,8,0,6,6,0,0,1,13,10,6,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,5,3,7,6,3,9,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,4,5,41,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5317013357211955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3591087718552487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298051289822484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885386108263188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13828857738919906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614764199074317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835305256119516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11483349465296372,0.07942729163174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467327947316853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16415721300350936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11016691189069737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127109628313624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15570457346232966,0.0,0.0,0.4666949391660569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14800470574609542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12516031857629611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17683794024512586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309811819481883,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,endgia,2020/01/27,Can i be traumatized from past drug abuse I’vd had problems in the past with substance abuse & the first time my father found out was scary & kinda traumatizing. I really hated myself for hurting him. It still haunts me to this day. I get flashbacks of me getting high & fucked up & images of my dad crying but i dont know why is this happening I enjoyed doing drugs so why is this so painful to remember?,3.544603174603175,5.597219086419757,4.2191534391534375,85.42333333333333,74.18518518518519,7.097707231040566,25.151675485008816,7.957251820313856,1.4722119929453266,330,11,63,5,7,105,62,81,0.303,0.6509999999999999,0.047,-0.9606,0,0,2,0,2,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,3,6,2,0,2,0,8,4,0,0,0,8,15,3,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,3,0,11,1,10,11,0,10,0,1,0,1,3,4,1,1,6,40,15,0,0.0,0.32676888002997984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.597641870971918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15147249314732866,0.08893163676037576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616133114582377,0.0,0.31983160998593785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729443150983054,0.0,0.15119605831482869,0.0,0.12748280860354147,0.1440901390054031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194114825652345,0.0,0.0,0.1361439420690834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456948991647913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14762072688042718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578414149748476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14673127199209904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26327503941867275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319480336252103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833983241146738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15620950566352984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012407803439453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08040837919921634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24885973200304884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,accounttoyeet11,2020/01/27,Hopelessly addicted but still have hope I have been addicted to pornographic content for years now. I'm 17 this April. Yes I'm very young and yes I regret ever doing this. I know it's not considered abnormal to masturbate but I'm addicted not to that but to the act of viewing porn itself and it has fucked up and interrupts many aspects of my life. I have begun to view it just for fun when I'm bored which leads to sexual feelings and compulsive masturbation. It interrupts my daily life and routine and I have tried many times to stop but to no avail. Please help someone. If someone has any advice how to overcome this please please help.,3.806041055718477,6.042285000000002,4.6031378299120265,82.13834310850444,74.0,8.702639296187684,27.40175953079179,9.339509955726095,2.5987516129032264,516,20,96,13,11,166,74,124,0.16699999999999998,0.623,0.21,0.8258,0,0,0,1,0,1,8.0,0,0,0,1,6,6,1,0,1,2,8,7,0,2,1,22,16,13,0,3,8,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,10,6,0,1,2,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,1,3,7,2,14,15,0,13,0,2,2,2,2,1,1,2,10,60,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5159185834386502,0.0,0.1541533354918026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10727670471905966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269562924119722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976410291564864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14583909388728986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21147555286602265,0.0,0.0,0.15668323590796995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669632123803325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22284967109329434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3198713423901966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.519492657960035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673253538055907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12598087484607814,0.1318876559670021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919864042204162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10710318816409467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301618424688925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10158705450826168
addiction,Dirtfarmer97,2020/01/27,"I got kicked out of my house a few days ago, i’m 17. My dad called me a “dumb ass drug addict” tl;dr - i got kicked out over my parents thinking i was doing drugs again and now i’m not entirely sure on what to do since i don’t even want to go home anymore

Okay so this happened a few days ago and I’m just at a loss right now. Brief background is that i have a history with abusing dxm aka cold meds as a way of coping. Up until a couple months ago i was sober for over a year, but i relapsed. My parents ended up finding out and they didn’t send me back to a mental hospital or anything so that was fine they just wanted the “truth” but okay believed what they wanted to hear.

So, there’s a guy i know at school who was talking to me about trying to get high on dxm but he had other active ingredients in his syrup (acetaminophen which is terrible on your liver and a serious risk in high amounts) so i told him that i’d go to the hannaford right next to school and get him the kind with only dxm in it. Now to buy that stuff you need to be 18 with an ID so i was just going to steal it for him and it’s be whatever, i tried to talk him out of trying it but if i can’t stop him might as well make sure he’s safe. Since i’m a generally sketchy looking teenager it turned out that they were following me with the cameras and chased me outside to confront me for stealing. I confessed and tried to get out of any trouble which i did for the most part. They didn’t ban me or call the cops, but they did call my parents.

Now this is where it gets bad. My dad comes clearly pissed and sees that i tried to steal dxm and him knowing some of my history with it and my last relapse he of course thought it was for me and refused to believe that i was getting it for someone else. He took me out of the store and brought me to the school which is literally almost touching it like the property lines are connected but we still fought on the way over. He was upset and everything and yelling at me and before i left he called me a “dumb ass drug addict” which honestly just really fucking hurt. I’ve always been afraid that’s how they see me and that really just solidified it for me. I went into school and had a breakdown so i couldn’t go to class since i couldn’t stop crying in the bathroom over it. 

I texted my girlfriend and told her what happened and was just freaking out and so sick of needing to deal with my parents and the way they act about the whole thing. Like yes i have an issue with it but the way they go about things is a whole other issue and only makes it worse for me. Anyways i knew i couldn’t handle school and everything that day so i decided to skip. At like 9:30 i left to my girlfriends school about an hour and a half walk away and we met up at 11 and went to her house for a while to talk. I told her that i’m not going home for at least another day because i just couldn’t handle my parents at the moment. 

At around 2:50 when i’d usually be home from school i left her house since her grandparents would be home soon and texted my parents the same thing. That i was extremely hurt and yeah i messed up in one way or another but i still can’t stand to be near them. After some fighting over text it got to a point where my mom said i’m not welcome back home until i start “telling the truth” since they don’t believe me and that they won’t have any drugs in their house (which is bullshit since my dad smokes weed 24/7). 

Now it’s been a few days and I’ve been staying with my girlfriend so far but now on school nights i need to find somewhere to stay. I have a few friends i can bounce between to have somewhere to sleep and i’m getting a job within the next week to find someone who’s willing to let me pay a small rent to just sleep in a guest room or even on the couch. My girlfriends grandparents have been extremely understanding and they care about me so they’re willing to help me but obviously i can’t rely on them forever. Even they think that my parents are doing a terrible job right now and need to change their ways so until some miracle happens and they stop being like that i’m gonna be out of the house. According to her grandmom who’s been in contact with my mom, my mom wants me to come home now but i don’t think that’s gonna happen. Being at home makes me want to relapse way more then whatever you wanna call where i am now. 

I just wish it didn’t have to come to this. Anyone have any advice or similar situations?",3.38511809086436,4.119989768656719,4.177872068230279,90.81207626701661,72.42217484008529,7.307488928981467,25.518189273413164,7.38057380780613,0.9470250418238481,3505,104,795,36,65,1124,339,938,0.134,0.7879999999999999,0.078,-0.9957,12,0,5,0,3,0,47.0,2,3,18,1,52,41,7,3,47,4,68,14,6,4,6,142,140,72,0,17,29,13,1,4,6,7,7,3,10,1,53,60,0,6,13,0,4,18,17,23,1,2,38,8,117,18,128,82,15,135,1,3,3,3,89,62,6,12,49,532,170,12,0.0,0.047782913424555484,0.0,0.0879284687603283,0.0,0.03940873767450709,0.10724687444998736,0.0,0.04038336633255631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0335567080271052,0.0,0.0,0.08227469424592096,0.08457631393285693,0.0,0.0,0.039995232518249255,0.028198763856973612,0.0,0.033187082845800894,0.03590109207072557,0.0,0.0,0.03789014001792525,0.06202055999792495,0.0336727789277928,0.02458400044231446,0.0,0.03431675228969527,0.13630989988070608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059005522276711,0.0,0.041117796145450684,0.0,0.04266241588593614,0.10421880908576417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04462293810596578,0.04429918189024817,0.13004337192804846,0.04157711758701218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870739481555545,0.0,0.033689452942445186,0.0,0.0357192569030963,0.0,0.0,0.07991017553180672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248966805918497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057910013249092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031157852616821937,0.03728323214905487,0.12642048355637164,0.0,0.13751837325897698,0.0,0.09676363346829404,0.0,0.0,0.03993175223434914,0.14265014047843888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04545337449505752,0.0,0.02703147668157857,0.0852189688632755,0.2831708113518086,0.0,0.03971564467386424,0.2326695186304809,0.08634541222591634,0.0,0.0,0.08418536754628621,0.08004002138388737,0.0,0.0,0.0419961338037711,0.04432719629600403,0.03287327208332772,0.0,0.0,0.13145174758559247,0.04123882682776895,0.0,0.07881026051761937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03386594991010531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807591587251009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044796092860122684,0.0,0.040641842931738136,0.042782376285400964,0.0,0.1416974536953682,0.03218998258632955,0.0,0.0,0.11961287648873292,0.0,0.0,0.08578005728562628,0.0378457518386132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027327769989887032,0.06134358536468039,0.0,0.0,0.3134617316975196,0.043672050746378366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038123655708901534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05167119419290617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332146514811112,0.03836182769308974,0.0,0.0,0.3265183694751737,0.06427350306365202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20016189812199814,0.04533114710449119,0.08071564731364747,0.0,0.06834075116350327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0285448605479705,0.08597005393294435,0.06441310183752738,0.10114979387103072,0.0,0.0,0.046166711515419886,0.0,0.0,0.07601864260811128,0.0,0.0,0.09724404130085083,0.035249060269379094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037778639473989,0.0775230052781074,0.0,0.032016482050431935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560739972041695,0.04480666819973066,0.13690269603951022,0.043866043565774636,0.0,0.041983597669711235,0.0,0.0,0.044416364080666806,0.0,0.11893455702505545,0.22407730746543286,0.03234924954996122,0.0,0.03626034346086512,0.07477021555974918,0.0,0.09005110387348499,0.04637601328385297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041098389406320726,0.028648350507160518,0.0,0.0,0.02597035976853597
addiction,anon07100118,2020/01/27,"I don't want to be a parent, but my dad's addiction is hurting my younger siblings. Sorry for the wall of text. Any advice or insight is so appreciated. 

Like the title says, my father [56M] is an addict. He's been on meth most of my life. My sister [25F] and I had a very unstable childhood, but we've managed to become productive adults who are working towards better futures. My dad was clean for a while, and my brothers [15M, 8M] seemed okay. Not perfect, but their bills were paid and they had food on the table. Things were stable.

Now, he's out of control again. He stopped going to work. He can't afford his bills or groceries, despite having food assistance, HUD assistance, and recently getting disability. I've had to pay his bills several times because my brothers will suffer if I don't. He's bringing known criminals with violent histories into the house. Last time he was like this, he lost his house and all of his possessions. My brothers also lost everything. 

My sister and I are trying to intervene before this happens again. I don't see my dad getting and staying better, but we're hoping we can convince him to go back to rehab. If not, we still need to find a way to get my brothers out of his care. My brothers' moms aren't in the picture, and our grandparents are dead. So, my sister and I are their only options. Neither of us want the responsibility of basically being parents, and our entire lives would have to change to make this work. 

I love my brothers. I want what is best for them. But I want what is best for my sister and I, too. This could mean sacrificing any future in which I could be reasonably happy for up to ten years. What am I supposed to do in this situation?",3.427149292149288,5.319066711711713,4.781547619047622,81.96375000000003,74.07507507507508,7.27966537966538,27.808773058773056,8.07648339933343,1.9234556842556847,1337,53,252,21,28,444,180,333,0.127,0.71,0.162,0.9656,4,0,1,0,0,0,50.0,5,0,4,11,9,18,1,0,11,1,34,7,0,3,2,50,56,24,1,11,11,17,0,2,0,2,4,1,1,1,11,17,2,2,6,0,5,3,8,5,0,1,11,2,43,13,36,38,5,31,0,4,1,1,43,11,0,8,17,173,54,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23055303994245546,0.0,0.10333176955370484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456340306938784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14381903181199976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813105746526232,0.0,0.06446053383883704,0.11678589105234514,0.08998031778430257,0.0,0.22194351498547565,0.1870438710300336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781301017429927,0.0,0.11186308385060467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11860083776883006,0.16885588812591862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950358488615298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09664805968261304,0.0,0.25573202164124603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16574055710195135,0.0,0.12019345364779532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09350903069052716,0.11256640701084993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10502760757085322,0.0,0.2440286545574769,0.11320109149194707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08619543725167406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07469008304317795,0.10332231072123456,0.0,0.09337385009212956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308640377704626,0.0,0.09543804842644234,0.0,0.07058491146183421,0.0,0.0,0.11518616752441176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12384604274420545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07840780318234403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042304322020458,0.0,0.0,0.2348322974260192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10872239796241594,0.10440939908482802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409183772513702,0.0,0.0,0.08426424187749251,0.096265325690597,0.0,0.11946057097987993,0.0,0.0,0.11886063656478098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183717008814768,0.0,0.11270898696236525,0.08444725951752974,0.0884066817619089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07025158540201037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233203017327308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07179320462013511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271969586473325,0.0,0.0,0.08724983775259572,0.2494820989190939,0.08393462995974456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23094857718991485,0.0,0.0,0.07511747209844373,0.0,0.0,0.06809564043877311
addiction,Ozzymandias888,2020/01/27,"New accountability group for youtube or internet addicts Hi all! 

I tried quitting youtube for several years and still waste around 3h a day on it - mostly when I am anxious and look for an escape. What helped me in the past - with porn addiction - was a small accountability group (in whatsapp) with 4-5 people who report honestly and support each other if somebody relapses. I want to create the same now for my youtube addiction. Youtube addicts prefered, but if it is another internet addiction for you, I guess that is also fine. 

Lmk if you want to join! 

Ozzy :-)",5.5397058823529415,7.58856174509804,5.925637254901961,75.28786764705885,68.80392156862746,9.41372549019608,35.299019607843135,9.827888789773867,3.8317019607843137,446,23,76,11,8,143,73,102,0.032,0.8,0.168,0.8881,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,0,1,5,3,0,0,5,0,4,6,0,0,1,19,9,10,0,6,5,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,6,7,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,8,3,13,8,4,12,0,0,1,1,7,5,0,6,7,52,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8105042519884582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891232970505974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15592097309675768,0.0,0.16798442692115995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323711793670205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589677370854396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16380567293494344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09966795554083974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12486739180952393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436117555386674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14194738676781876,0.10308725047299967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581567550203537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16798442692115995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187490096418838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16873873144687446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10095498653675608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17540979031931234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957555036034716
addiction,PerryPretty,2020/01/27,"I'm Struggling Now, but I Remember... Life long addict, here. Anonymous account.

I read a book called This Naked Mind that re trained my mind for a while, like Allen Carr's Easy Way to quit smoking, but with alcohol. Getting the sub conscious on board changes everything. The mountain was a mole hill.

I want to talk about that sober period.

Doing things, activities, for the sake of doing them, was brand new to me. Choosing the people around me kept life interesting. Boredom is always a challenge, but life has to be good enough on its own.

That's the difference to people who haven't been addicted... Yet. They enjoy life. Don't forget that the trap is there for all. Who knows what will trigger someone into addiction for the first time. 

Is life easy to choose? Nope. Not if you've never done it, or practiced it. Even if you have. 

I remember that I wasn't miserable, I didn't show up to meetings like a wild man. I just didn't put the poison in my one and only body. Sobriety was obvious. 

Fast forward to today. Big problems, because I forgot to keep the sub conscious sharp and practiced. But it's malleable. After a while, I won't be addicted. I'm very frustrated now, but sharing this helps. 

No one chooses addiction. It's not a moral failing. 

You can't be a poly addict if you don't use substances.",1.9277380952380945,4.592961376984127,2.951079365079366,88.86614285714286,84.03968253968253,5.899682539682541,24.66984126984127,7.3011,1.3249165079365088,1025,41,196,16,30,326,153,252,0.07200000000000001,0.7440000000000001,0.184,0.9835,0,0,1,0,0,0,47.0,0,3,2,4,9,13,2,2,17,0,24,14,1,2,3,38,33,13,0,5,12,0,1,2,0,2,13,0,0,1,16,5,1,3,8,3,1,2,13,6,0,3,10,1,18,7,23,18,3,24,1,2,0,0,13,8,0,4,17,129,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6649657138790878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086467733873552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08459171651409375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09050157722682847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0619727893009897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11292461659533685,0.0,0.0,0.10380923617459532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10754591861378138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10621614246440142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10403649209250647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10504500116663797,0.0,0.06714741813289049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09136810210510267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647445135736047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05311469417648247,0.0,0.0,0.08527005714346003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0681425308632305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09036269902335232,0.0,0.0,0.055871297326116655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.359037732365125,0.09933476207981064,0.0,0.0,0.08996850954550781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20530119260508864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07840873256847243,0.09818670836592444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13777888880396855,0.07731925281430536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14096057471718795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727771104348053,0.0,0.10219934190740153,0.0,0.10813105879137648,0.10169045911191678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303286034158596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08613868565584082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628018630179037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171282641672192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06754034509028851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059280482340750076,0.0,0.09636458725893424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08780414556519052,0.0,0.08388257883662455,0.059963440534549474,0.08069531584328613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,moteresa,2020/01/27,"Feeling helpless Being in love with an addict is one of the hardest feelings I know.  He's addicted to heroin and I'm addicted to him.  I want to let go, but he sucks me back in every time he wishes.  I can't enable anymore, I can't pretend everything is going to be ok.  I can't believe when he says he's going to try to stop.  He's been saying that since the beginning and the time never comes.  It's just progressively getting worse and more dangerous.  Something horrible is in his path and I know it.  My heart is broken.  Every time I feel strong I get sad again and just want to believe in him, but it is always the same.  I'm watching his deteriorate and make worse choices. I don't even know how I got into his life because I have NOTHING to do with any of it except for going to see him and it's only the two of us.   I know there is never going to be the life I desire between us, and I'll probably never see him get better, even from a distance.",1.879352941176471,3.4397259000000027,4.279235294117648,85.33682352941179,77.5,6.505882352941178,24.264705882352942,7.285733465282438,1.0825088235294116,740,25,153,9,17,259,105,200,0.17,0.7170000000000001,0.114,-0.9520000000000001,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,2,0,0,4,9,8,2,0,8,1,17,7,1,2,3,35,45,12,0,4,5,0,3,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,6,12,0,1,7,1,0,6,7,4,0,2,2,8,24,4,24,39,2,22,0,2,3,1,18,5,1,0,11,105,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3601685330003681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09163562513060364,0.0,0.0,0.07489106731967901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921774958059798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08468191787122446,0.0,0.06713323151135274,0.0,0.0,0.2481539185740768,0.0,0.09739959281157418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09486583838147412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145477498035834,0.0,0.1855758012040819,0.0,0.09897627685570087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16705263692038982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17261258211985392,0.0,0.3129424497965057,0.0,0.08807971703316339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13050264740262554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24209468578325954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11261371863303456,0.15557384768411006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939515263747062,0.0,0.07351154140645172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25481336189979786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10567114014513117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07462583291620561,0.08375758712839924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187370081751102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17515699836837034,0.0,0.0,0.17551610330233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109932479531817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478219877017754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920722476284691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926502126162656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476993347209307,0.0,0.1075794141446042,0.0,0.264941736094235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299131306184037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266421892427107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2244604328927114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,aliferestarted,2020/01/28,"I'm a sex addict, and it's destroying me. I dont know how I havent gotten an std or had anything worse happen. But I go to asia a lot, and spend money on seeking out girls, prostitutes etc. most of those encounters suck, then if I find a girl who wants to stay with me, she ends up just being my toy I have to use all the time, until shes worn out or sick of me.

I hate constantly obsessing over needing a fix, I cant focus on any life goals, I've basically put my life on hold for a decade, constantly seeking out girls, with so many failures or lost interests. all this effort I could have put in to making money to be a financially secure partner, instead I have no work ethic and no passion for anything, 

except sex.

I'm always transient living in hotels or hostels, usually in asia because of girls and because of social anxiety back home in the us, and because it's cheaper to live and I can never find a way to settle down and just work on one thing.

I'm only briefly in the US, and was going to leave, but then the corona virus hit, I'm not too keen to go, yet at the same time my living situation ends in a week, and I really have no idea how to establish myself, especially in an area with absolutely no transportation and any big city is 2 hours drive away.


I realized I do have a problem when a girl I met, decided to come over, and later I found out she was working in a gogo bar, having sex with others. I didnt use protection with her and then still didnt after she told me this. Luckily my hiv test came back negative, but I havent done the 3 month test yet.

I'm 30, and always have this burning urge to release. maybe no impulse control. and almost impossible not to want to/try to have sex with any woman, instead of just a friendship. I think this even ruined a friendship, when I couldnt stop flirting with my friend's wife...she did seem to be quite receptive though it was weird.. I distanced myself from them.

I also noticed I hardly have any male friends. and the girls who are my friends, we have an ambiguous nature...maybe I have poor boundaries or am too needy, and they find it as I'm interested in them? or I invoke empathy in others easily because I'm a disaster.

therapy isnt really an option unless there's some cheap online type. I really dont know what else to do. I cant even give myself a stable living...nor do I really want to. cant stand being locked into something.",5.05031959629941,4.9229536422764255,6.400128959910287,79.39426829268294,68.47154471544715,9.469133725820015,29.363891225119147,9.223106411051027,2.3220206616204093,1880,61,383,33,29,641,245,492,0.134,0.787,0.079,-0.9553,0,0,1,0,0,0,63.0,3,0,3,8,22,17,3,1,26,0,41,12,0,6,3,84,75,39,0,8,17,0,1,0,4,0,6,0,1,9,15,31,1,5,11,3,5,9,20,8,0,1,15,1,51,9,62,53,7,64,0,2,0,7,29,27,1,14,25,262,66,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246819017262316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08493669571405787,0.0,0.0,0.06783189532973426,0.14115692463042356,0.0,0.0,0.2307267011071084,0.0,0.06488838027599189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13960208934036072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07969279397767938,0.1304453271472914,0.0,0.20682612220168026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701344589734212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07306639737182022,0.0,0.18332428222024946,0.09513476659581543,0.06772323791042499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680206454179741,0.198820837956354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085765930906744,0.0,0.15025372722653374,0.0,0.09459863451538232,0.11204788637824582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325765341834785,0.0,0.0,0.09300263307091512,0.19659914121757746,0.0,0.0,0.08136871865357508,0.14461840709863602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07500756298773993,0.0,0.07598359650555614,0.08374388347290053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08508309669886999,0.0,0.0835323038444209,0.0,0.0,0.09575339239132312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323159324178804,0.0,0.0,0.08981394954429978,0.0,0.0,0.1198241724259095,0.0,0.0,0.22469738667399208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09259292245249516,0.07211238936013112,0.0,0.0,0.05661915382247588,0.0859959063359447,0.17042962829158756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770388415518758,0.0,0.0,0.06289422735429735,0.06541973617293179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09657008541889267,0.0,0.0,0.057477389701995826,0.06451073693587463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116292641784209,0.0,0.170538504210379,0.0,0.0902183354647922,0.0,0.0,0.2173558520210195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07721850421238759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09534316223854132,0.0,0.086465057215985,0.0,0.06529990069226202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904086629540947,0.06773873165647956,0.07091475231670029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700102408822317,0.0,0.056351778840155325,0.05435033041345353,0.08333690492549027,0.0,0.09892044898313716,0.0,0.0,0.08105078422210328,0.0,0.0575883770569553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20406016011788808,0.14651745665569227,0.09341913622498142,0.0,0.1500901365686213,0.06732752972698673,0.06803886389699229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18525365756204265,0.0,0.08644057473059984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,psycholover12,2020/01/28,"I feel like I’m drowning.. I’m currently going through a separation, I haven’t heard from my husband in 4 days.. I’m struggling I feel like I’m dying internally. I’m finding it so hard to cope I can’t do anything. I don’t want to shower I don’t want to take care of myself. I just want to sleep all day long. My mom had to watch my son yesterday because I was holding back mental breakdowns I felt like I couldn’t take care of him. I needed a break. I feel like the only thing keeping me together is bud right now. I feel like I have to smoke every day just to cope. I just want to get fucked up. I feel like it’s the only way to cope right now. I feel like I’m losing it.",-0.610063166206082,1.343751436241611,2.0832688511646293,95.7374812475326,88.32885906040268,4.848164232135808,18.83181997631268,6.2272716619740125,-0.1977962100276347,520,15,125,5,17,180,76,149,0.083,0.71,0.207,0.9088,2,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,7,12,1,1,4,0,10,2,1,0,1,20,37,1,2,6,3,3,8,7,1,0,0,1,1,0,4,0,0,2,8,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,4,10,23,9,15,32,1,16,0,1,1,1,6,4,1,0,16,64,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09402604027201084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08785869639632114,0.0,0.06965168425246712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329908642005065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22106426255349929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11858358320919338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09626876897903756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3466389821664811,0.4897631376300127,0.10970728016931892,0.0,0.1044313432690059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10563129949703667,0.059696004483174525,0.0,0.06493645013567903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102354294821834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10155931742892747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3907508031509964,0.0,0.0,0.10111628490842688,0.0,0.12782743589081105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11514695575938108,0.0,0.0,0.1338196405059833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472215827191701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17379938016030766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19515440767759776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11434226895080525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194491011632982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718182272912128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07590910210098152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695734482125257,0.09069407272394488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,nona57,2020/01/28,"Suboxone, Surgery, WTF? I’m at a loss...I have a large kidney stone that I’m having lithotripsy to  get rid of in 5 days...I went to have some labs done and told the office about my meds, gave them my doctors name and asked them to figure out what to do.  I have had 4 back surgeries, a connective tissue disease, chronic pain and have abused meds before suboxone.  They just called and said no need to stop the suboxone, they would not give any narcotics in the procedure and that I would probably be uncomfortable.  This is not a small hospital I’m going to and the nurse says this is a situation that they really were not familiar with so they just were not sure...I now need to call the suboxone doc who thinks I should just bite the bullet and have no pain relief. Now I’m afraid to do anything....Any advice is welcome, I’ve been on suboxone for 2 years  and take a split dose for pain reasons.  I hate this, makes me wish I would have kept it all to myself....thanks",4.393802311677959,5.177294518134719,4.934715025906738,86.12573933838185,70.139896373057,8.632762056596254,26.2451175767238,8.841846274778883,1.6782095655639695,754,22,160,13,13,241,115,193,0.157,0.7979999999999999,0.045,-0.9676,0,0,0,0,1,0,31.0,0,0,6,0,8,7,1,1,12,0,22,7,1,2,1,33,42,9,0,7,7,0,0,0,0,4,6,2,0,0,9,10,0,2,3,0,0,2,6,5,0,0,10,2,14,2,19,27,2,13,0,0,0,0,17,6,0,1,5,99,23,1,0.0,0.16786831923060114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384486227878165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926953053358857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13245221659913264,0.0,0.0,0.10894362041183106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12055973810428282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.289343425537961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14501607690011728,0.0,0.14498842353666014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07402225527204895,0.13591292217593595,0.08052033850538025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13988024028768328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457288715463144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3147503690163147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101087093214208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4522743782508665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527556280330929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09076420733005827,0.14567123285604955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13477067587393166,0.11267008366377433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15925490782894555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845130871213475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13353226969891607,0.0,0.10652616361054608,0.0,0.0,0.13044044245279354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078319469635099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353818655443863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313393168704803,0.0,0.0,0.16292567456918006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3019374565319893,0.0,0.0,0.09123764818236832
addiction,larteaga012820,2020/01/28,"What is the best Substance Abuse Rehabilitation Program that can help to Overcome Addiction? At the moment, there are many options for Alcoholism treatment. This article is written to give some basic information about this treatment. One of the options you have in treatment is inpatient Drug detox treatment.

If you suffer from a substance abuse problem, then [Women Drug Rehabs](https://www.womendrugrehabs.com/) will help you overcome your addiction. It will not just give you detoxification but also provide treatment. This treatment can be complete or partial. It depends on the severity of your addiction and the type of center you want to go to.

If you are staying at a residential drug detox center, then you will be given a total body detox. This is very important because it allows you to be free from any type of addictive substances. The main reason for this kind of treatment is to be free from any type of harmful substance.

If you are going to the outpatient part of the treatment, then you can visit a detox center or a treatment center anytime of the day. This is completely optional, but most people prefer it. However, you still need to go to your designated area in order to complete the treatment. This is very important in order to provide you with total detoxification.

A drug detoxification center can help you get into recovery after they give you a detoxification program. Once you are free from the substance, you can always go back to the center if you so wish.

One of the best things about a drug detoxification center is that they provide complete treatment without any restrictions. With this option, you can feel like the treatment will never end. There are not any withdrawal symptoms that you have to deal with. You just need to move on with your life after finishing the program.

If you feel like drinking alcohol every night, then this is the treatment for you. You will no longer have problems with alcohol. This can be done in a supervised way. You will have to pay money and live in a residential center.

The Rehabilitation Hospital In-patient alcohol rehab center is for those who suffer from alcohol dependency. If you are suffering from [alcoholism](https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/), then this type of treatment may be best for you. After treatment, you can live your life normally without having to drink.

If you choose the outpatient alcohol detox center, then you need to schedule time for treatment every week. This type of treatment is for those who are not suffering from any type of substance abuse problem.

Inpatient treatment may be better than outpatient detox center. This type of treatment allows you to give it a try even if you do not want to stay in a facility for a long time. When you need some time away from home, alcohol rehab centers are there to provide you with the same treatment that is available in any residential centers.

Every Alcohol rehab centers can provide you with different types of treatment. However, the fact remains that inpatient treatment is the most suitable one. However, if you are truly suffering from alcoholism, then go for any type of treatment that is recommended by your doctor.",8.413792537925383,10.092766642066426,7.80749692496925,65.90231959819599,61.546125461254604,10.155063550635509,37.56478064780648,10.25414643259724,4.3106099220992204,2568,122,373,56,36,805,179,542,0.07400000000000001,0.8190000000000001,0.106,0.9648,4,0,18,0,3,0,74.0,0,41,2,4,13,19,0,0,34,0,54,34,1,5,4,68,75,25,0,21,21,0,2,2,0,8,31,0,1,1,30,10,11,1,6,2,5,7,8,9,0,3,3,2,43,13,82,57,12,65,0,5,0,0,56,28,0,23,27,297,73,15,0.0,0.1987317888330403,0.0,0.2437995876731147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5377548240660371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044711019220778685,0.04652140368198082,0.0,0.0,0.2661439040756579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052529065065526265,0.0429911585176265,0.0,0.0340820740750584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760215484049337,0.04944764407063036,0.0,0.06210314544674489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23448130133394066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036057173407737314,0.05764051317656727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05841380509527708,0.0,0.05722601402495903,0.0,0.05721510149857668,0.0,0.10954057011761724,0.32418788865913045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04951945728010889,0.0,0.0,0.03692787277395541,0.0,0.14131916624867652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05653931461144046,0.07988389519979129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02921054485065817,0.2145349662429596,0.15887404069609096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242541173657414,0.0,0.056082053337509916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05822141707671721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898144155350298,0.054629374562915486,0.0,0.09873869439151303,0.04947838303453008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05668372676900948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059423232526352274,0.0,0.16582553056755514,0.04312105783315847,0.0,0.0,0.05246752743177459,0.054779699361612456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05954207549365756,0.11365771204978906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060544827602014475,0.0,0.0387607916584229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049428423498835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057484550628100886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06316212086242465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11918474185088837,0.04464961090002749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05811165375647305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03714396383293754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780430152320267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03795906071871611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09226282366061284,0.06595405645429735,0.044378569418969005,0.04484744140895118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06429347102213788,0.10779003747436028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,awwwwshiiit,2020/01/28,"How do you stop messenger addiction? Hey!

I remember in my last relationship there was a serious imbalance in digital communication - she would rarely check my phone and I’d respond almost immediately. 

I tried turning off notifications but would then miss other important messages in the messaging app. Tried muting her (ikr) but then my mind would tell me “it’s been an hour - she’ll have responded by now. Go on, check!”

Currently I’m trying to say “don’t check for an hour” and then slowly increase to around 3 hours perhaps. 

Any other advice?",3.5599659863945554,6.675602377551018,5.054183673469385,73.37236394557823,81.34693877551021,8.980952380952381,27.554421768707485,9.2995712137729,3.3668952380952373,435,19,72,14,12,145,76,98,0.049,0.887,0.064,0.5337,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,4,0,9,1,0,1,0,13,13,8,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,3,2,1,2,0,0,2,1,10,0,10,7,1,18,0,1,0,0,13,6,0,1,10,45,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20057327724290652,0.0,0.1797902267336692,0.0,0.0,0.1842366697752882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12511764992400215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16378767411160972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10456420313216773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.543571186148926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14997417806565186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18577468956617796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19753346813790792,0.2084217059571628,0.0,0.0,0.1463140584580382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15382159259823738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16081297986055587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37474582867417866,0.2001253118975544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3920978242771721,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,frosty___dog,2020/01/28,"Advice to help a recovering addict I've recently started seeing someone recovering from a substance dependence issue.

He's doing very well, and intends to stay in the program, is doing iop 4 days a week, and currently holding down a job. I'm very happy for him and would like to be there for him without worsening or potentially triggering anything. His roommate relapsed last night (so he was booted from the program).

My guy voiced to me his concerns about relapsing and how it normally happens within two months of being clean, and says he uses to numb himself.

I've been around a lot of drug addicts my whole life, but none of them have recovered, so I'm not sure the best way to approach/support him. 

I'd like to know what you've found helpful and triggering from a s/o, and any other tips or advice you have around the situation, any input is much appreciated, thank you thank you.",6.083685064935064,7.076304803571433,6.802077922077924,73.49746753246755,66.44047619047619,9.442424242424243,34.320346320346324,9.573946990214177,3.3869333333333334,709,32,122,14,11,234,113,168,0.052000000000000005,0.782,0.166,0.9531,2,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,3,1,1,8,9,0,0,10,0,11,5,0,6,1,27,21,13,0,2,5,0,0,2,0,1,5,2,1,1,3,9,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,1,1,1,3,3,13,8,22,15,5,15,0,0,1,0,17,5,0,4,10,81,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30271594985292144,0.0,0.2713490551088833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888342692543261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142549102486691,0.24719714422799646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14570582536949744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08954142704924989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16101232259316733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15223278597930265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13747513720341722,0.12277727958986827,0.14779959886161145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18612536428663728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14491468951856332,0.1377789892231324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07630378147285538,0.11317453748231203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980680169676031,0.13566210811526855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803827024495407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11082214090331406,0.0,0.10206464379403514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13029355426342545,0.13603541239078698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13708945423328714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11041251305207787,0.0,0.0,0.11063887956085132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15606391703536499,0.0,0.0,0.1176401437088144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827288813309493,0.14798680621946592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15755594508480447,0.1308566834387248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556536142782416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13562819161122294,0.0,0.0,0.11991467276141647,0.0,0.2291179289276129,0.0,0.11020609938675854,0.11137045763003163,0.0,0.12483538571186155,0.0,0.0,0.1550118285277434,0.0,0.13383846908913893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09862917844200317,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Packathonjohn,2020/01/28,"How long after quitting do you still have the urge to smoke? I quit smoking 22 days ago and I still have some pretty intense urges to smoke, it's hard to watch other people in public smoke and not think to myself that it would be so nice to have a smoke right now. I'm still feeling irritable, still eating a ton of food, and still feeling depressed and low energy. How much longer does this last? Will I still have cravings a month from now? Or two months from now?",3.799631336405529,5.175479408602153,3.802181259600616,91.4661290322581,72.11827956989248,6.174500768049157,21.88786482334869,6.1826913282559595,0.170780030721966,367,8,77,2,7,112,64,93,0.1,0.757,0.14300000000000002,0.5067,0,0,4,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,2,12,3,0,0,4,0,8,2,0,2,0,13,12,8,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,4,2,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,4,5,1,10,9,3,19,0,2,1,0,2,3,0,2,16,54,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13490000116676393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09814468411200797,0.0,0.13107397843805585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13317533608130475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15571999393412678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15389540133111276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18401886062506267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13632501902515973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12404849461037452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13467612167998885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429401534016161,0.0,0.1118711478504866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10550371240223046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548236211338962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237281956706721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12996244264005766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7291955874556041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09751196532393644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486595251050098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10810559850797416,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,belethors_dick,2020/01/28,Help finding a way No matter what I can’t seem to get away from drinking and doing cocaine and honestly any other drug I can get my hands on. No matter how many times I lie awake wanting to get clean and healthier. I see no hope for myself and live with others who use drugs or smoke weed or drink and being around any of that is an instant trigger but I have nowhere else to go. Paying bills here is hard enough I can’t imagine having to find somewhere else to go. I am about to give up soon because I don’t think there’s anything left for me to do. Any advice would be appreciated,4.077210743801654,4.644758570247936,4.839328512396693,87.3062654958678,70.73553719008265,7.041735537190082,26.695247933884296,6.6274283507984215,0.9858834710743802,461,14,98,3,8,149,88,121,0.054000000000000006,0.825,0.121,0.7783,0,0,6,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,2,0,14,5,1,3,0,23,26,9,0,3,3,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,5,7,2,0,5,2,2,2,6,0,0,0,0,3,11,2,17,23,1,10,0,0,1,0,3,5,0,4,2,65,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15728912543222018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3283767881637961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13245710328446722,0.14328932381711126,0.0,0.0,0.15122806102411834,0.0,0.0,0.09812026868595508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.315360800762384,0.3733270771011533,0.0,0.26892435040034146,0.0,0.0,0.16631563392326407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2942306871905143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522862754388996,0.15440835909760744,0.1829555739594125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14418934756375365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078886961948376,0.0,0.0,0.15987048912843893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748844853058204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421314207882324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16318908551304012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12826499504812414,0.14653275515089595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313724333405642,0.0,0.0,0.09385759331982367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390185346145073,0.0,0.0,0.0949389072679729,0.12776326774297367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11434200287165985,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,awe135,2020/01/28,"Can someone please explain to me why nicotine is so addictive? I have smoked vapes and cigars and I just don’t understand how someone could become so addicted to nicotine. Title pretty much says it all. I hear about people that have been smokers for 20 years, and teens who can’t stop vaping, and others who just say it is so addictive. I’m curious how people become so dependent on nicotine? I have vaped in the past and I have smoked cigars. Never smoked a cigarette though, so maybe that’s where my misunderstanding comes from? When I vaped, I got the usual head rush and the nicotine high for like 5 minutes and then it went away. And then if I hit it again shortly after it wouldn’t feel the same to the point where I feel nothing after so many drags. Cigars had a much longer nicotine high but it still felt pretty much the same to vaping. I feel like it’s extremely overrated. Not trying to downplay anyone’s addiction problems with nicotine, and my question is also sincere. So why is it so addictive for some people ? To me it feels like the mildest high of things you can do to feel intoxicated or high. Thanks.",4.10515245478036,6.1440141534883725,4.5455426356589195,83.74766795865636,72.5813953488372,7.568475452196382,26.363049095607238,8.344100000000001,1.802250645994832,893,31,167,15,18,282,116,215,0.039,0.8390000000000001,0.122,0.9578,0,0,5,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,0,20,6,0,0,9,0,17,10,1,3,2,38,32,27,0,4,6,0,6,3,0,1,6,3,0,0,15,11,3,1,9,0,0,3,5,1,0,0,5,9,15,5,19,24,7,26,0,0,0,0,8,11,0,5,15,117,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5229245834234757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672036306086998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06708101278623849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013547472884137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119085948934952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264077697764965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659746753188408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24254181741995398,0.13707407143150652,0.09211405924456813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672916168538937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09845849930950053,0.0,0.10812737789307746,0.0,0.0,0.4054486054028729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406091447913365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09726452613141356,0.0963810821981269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115730394682915,0.0,0.07399212252784501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920536335808436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158221923142933,0.1995308132348916,0.0,0.0,0.1053094385337678,0.0906909767051556,0.0,0.0,0.19520376632209047,0.0,0.0917982484727943,0.0,0.0,0.107470806222626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15258506839973082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16257332505326766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07661499152729509,0.08020718745454271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08832541517030025,0.0,0.0,0.06373592998878548,0.0,0.09425709795035243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513456795536654,0.0,0.0,0.09987325211767092,0.0,0.0,0.10566047156980604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893407192303147,0.1731354904323794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06177994342349676
addiction,attempt89foraname,2020/01/28,"I (f24) need advice or encouraging words I’ve heavily abused adderall for the last four and a half years (taking anywhere from 25-70mg a day). I bought entire scripts from people and thought when I moved to a new city where I knew no one I wouldn’t be able to find it and would finally stop taking it. I very quickly found it and have since had two scares of legitimate heart issues. I can’t look at myself and be okay with spending hundreds of dollars on a drug every month that could be destroying my body anymore. I’m in my second semester of graduate school (supposedly the hardest one)- taking 5 classes, working 30 hours a week as a bartender, and live 2,000 miles away from my close friends, family, and boyfriend. But despite all of that, tomorrow has to be the start of a “me” that doesn’t take adderall anymore.",9.211482479784367,6.970718270440256,8.556621743036839,74.17245283018869,61.26415094339622,11.601437556154535,39.69541778975741,9.957137785484203,3.7715078167115923,651,27,125,10,7,206,113,159,0.091,0.8540000000000001,0.055999999999999994,-0.6486,0,0,1,0,1,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,3,5,1,1,10,1,12,3,2,0,1,22,24,11,0,4,2,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,6,9,0,1,4,0,3,1,4,2,0,6,5,1,12,3,18,12,1,21,0,0,1,0,2,7,0,1,13,78,18,4,0.14786988585880342,0.17520163488000884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14449674107947658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2932943858966276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13892862534333228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16425010830957293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180620715761328,0.0,0.0,0.09536384340848757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17148212201449745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245867564119239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393985683048519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619842321354,0.135150396786093,0.0,0.0,0.16213169749665754,0.11424390700740007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752265267084238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14562205145069101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15433774303414602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205336929056864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305718183152178,0.0,0.12417346213899548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11802833213149598,0.1571622871651162,0.0,0.10964364671178237,0.0,0.1428136571980135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004009231213005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025143602995144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14804355185481802,0.14965221888554556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231949762764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466306629298676,0.0,0.0,0.1236258457531488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4447190061258621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739217214535755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444473921492785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12200814202074355,0.0,0.0,0.11861230306191445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10765103802704963,0.0,0.0,0.105042524319806,0.0,0.0,0.09522335838842456
addiction,jmoreno0506,2020/01/28,"OCEANSIDE - RECOVERY BAND! I play in Oceanside which is a recovery band we started to try to go around and help people get out of addiction. I have been reading all of the posts in this group and kudos to everyone in this battle with us! Keep fighting the good fight and make sure you stay active within your recovery! Check us out if you want at OceansideMusicNow.com and learn more about what we’re trying to do or jam to our music on Spotify, Apple Music, or SoundCloud! Much love to everyone on here from Oceanside! We love all of you! 

https://youtu.be/A5RuzBpD8z8",5.859538834951454,7.932339844660195,5.470084951456312,78.77658373786406,68.02912621359225,8.645145631067964,28.408980582524272,9.188382445141503,2.5069233009708736,456,16,78,9,8,140,71,103,0.066,0.7120000000000001,0.222,0.9588,0,0,0,0,3,0,16.0,5,4,0,0,3,8,3,0,3,0,4,3,0,1,3,20,12,7,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,10,0,1,1,4,1,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,11,5,22,11,4,14,0,0,0,2,17,10,0,3,1,56,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166503867634289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17691620454697254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3797994470621043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10383078822841603,0.0,0.11294562945570585,0.1666894139702616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13320782132152625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17664471972420834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.358732031617477,0.0,0.1326570959262616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460930259115378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377777638461537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19033310880642787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987886909377113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406655924984372,0.21182497201689804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18730530116667854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2698559177848264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4781072553709042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11721899922652147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,lilturkeysandwich,2020/01/28,"How to provide support for someone who’s family struggles with addiction. A close friend of mine has recently had a family member relapse after years of sobriety, and disappear (hopefully to rehab.)

What would be the proper thing to do for them/their family?

I want to make sure I am doing everything I can without stepping on any toes.

Thank you in advance",5.86646153846154,7.88505503076923,6.907692307692312,68.69230769230772,67.92307692307692,10.73846153846154,34.53846153846154,10.793553405168565,4.608138461538462,287,14,43,9,5,96,55,65,0.065,0.757,0.17800000000000002,0.765,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,1,6,0,1,3,0,8,3,1,2,1,10,13,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,1,0,5,5,13,10,0,9,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,3,34,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382695861908137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14863261488446064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964333446844271,0.0,0.6181347166245049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688638220197025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21708570488391235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14589473771002268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21580790537902064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18519056147881105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284930078215862,0.0,0.0,0.24802650706379106,0.2059962009163777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012265323708864,0.0,0.0,0.14520577292898434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12891609775847024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106901645702854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15526326607589702,0.0,0.0,0.14074956524359508
addiction,yooimjustsayingg,2020/01/28,"I have an addictive personality and I know this But I can control my drinking and drug use. I don’t drink every day or week. I can go months with out drinking But every when I do drink I have this huge wave of guilt over me. if I end up drunk texting people or feel like I was obnoxious etc . If I’m doing a drug it’s cause I’m at a horrible state with my depression. I just have a hard time believing I’m an addict. I know every ones addiction displays itself differently. I don’t drink to get drunk every time either. I identify as gray area drinker if you know what that means. Anyone else feel this way about themselves, that AA OR NA doesn’t suit them but some a structural setting like that does do me well. I’ve been to ALNON and AA as well and when I’m listening to people and their stories it’s really hard for me to relate. Anyone else have Similar feelings?",1.8853204074926069,3.9231849720670406,3.6784817614196506,87.4437364442984,79.16759776536313,6.8933289516924106,22.819914558001965,7.928766900206844,1.164456194544857,686,22,143,12,17,230,101,179,0.087,0.84,0.073,0.1932,1,0,8,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,2,1,6,6,0,1,6,0,14,12,0,3,0,30,29,18,0,3,11,0,5,2,0,0,5,1,0,1,10,8,7,1,7,7,0,1,3,2,4,1,2,7,21,4,15,27,3,18,0,1,1,0,5,6,0,7,10,89,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3423120435595467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463731692791459,0.21449030657798385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179254532270796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10752328740912102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739451987463305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675024642548216,0.0,0.09015074656671697,0.0,0.0,0.10935620898076093,0.0,0.0,0.09159602931925118,0.0,0.0,0.5126759615349206,0.2427642468653761,0.0,0.17487404850361365,0.0,0.09270514239065193,0.0,0.11673294293043104,0.0,0.0,0.3527505927082449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587704762819221,0.07477513169546883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054684923228682764,0.0,0.05948546843555776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18752466946210944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17256905941021478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10227139443229784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11401458106968955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354532478976644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07092602220153843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14512779045790816,0.09139241674710567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06705326244809365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220659810255877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903998984431414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08308091047539659,0.08395868351617154,0.0,0.18821893819308733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,LetArthurSmash2019,2020/01/29,"Guys I need help I know you guys are used to serious addictions like drugs alcohol and smoking, so I don’t expect this to get much attention. I have a serious addiction to caffeine it’s gotten to the point where I will black out from time to time because of all the caffeine in my system. I am worried for health and my overall life. I can’t quit I’ve tried and I get the hugest migraine it feels like an axe splitting my skull over and over again. I need tips and methods to quite because I can’t stop and the only thing that keeps me awake and the headache away is caffeine.",4.226186440677964,5.015073271186445,4.662500000000001,87.90612288135594,70.52542372881356,7.933898305084746,30.00423728813559,8.07648339933343,1.8655220338983047,458,18,97,6,8,145,77,118,0.079,0.852,0.07,0.2585,0,0,3,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,2,3,4,0,0,7,0,8,8,1,1,1,18,17,8,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,1,7,0,0,2,5,8,1,2,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,2,15,2,14,15,2,12,0,0,1,0,4,7,0,0,6,61,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37960026804221225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18606528173839376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635773658946142,0.0,0.0,0.2122655674327608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20190650953199388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803271238588954,0.1243806370614333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819253389359474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3447826185366985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18506545901129925,0.0,0.0,0.11669890239841955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15475251154010378,0.0,0.0,0.09568354727857348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12297550078004615,0.17011780393054346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279871977696346,0.2581932826567598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13241468761713066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16458548783892188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3703641680541591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14555956452328425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156676166822591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20304403535288534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11820585720411575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15037080783006046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17681206493136115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,timeforporn22,2020/01/29,"hmu if anyone is keen to share their perspective about addiction. Been addicted to a lot of things in my life, think about this topic fairly often, if anyone wants to chat about their perspective hmu, keen to chat over dm/discord if possible. Remove if inappropriate xx",7.863125,8.931817395833336,7.612500000000002,68.9825,62.54166666666666,11.4,30.583333333333336,11.20814326018867,3.7260333333333326,217,7,35,6,3,69,34,48,0.0,0.857,0.14300000000000002,0.7351,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,2,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,8,4,4,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,3,10,3,1,3,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,6,0,24,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6760231967557895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4336028764270668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2190048273378095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26360226089602445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3495465091675172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20599034978017655,0.19867418212817156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18288165500520548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,benzoboss0,2020/01/29,"Present. For the 5th time this month I'll quit. 

It just took me a 4 day blackout. 
A 14h mephedrone fueled mastrubation session
A 14 day long 3meopcp bender.
A few ego deaths here and there. 

I just want some damn stability in life and not this total loss of control this Rollercoaster of emotions. 

Fuck this.",2.009482758620692,4.854116758620691,2.089224137931037,92.99693965517244,88.3103448275862,4.968965517241379,24.49137931034483,6.6274283507984215,0.8680620689655172,244,10,48,3,8,73,47,58,0.11,0.8320000000000001,0.057999999999999996,-0.6044,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,3,4,3,2,0,5,0,0,2,0,1,1,9,3,2,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,4,2,3,8,0,1,0,1,0,1,2,1,6,26,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3544211670835585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4075880575645115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35545776548978514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29213715289864817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232003323056473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2796502904488557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522283965894241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3361051789154661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18426229564416247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3510879214122947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863851434964305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Sweeeeeetz,2020/01/29,"Help on addiction Hey guys, i’m a 20 year old male that’s addicted to partying, drugs, friends and alone time with drugs.

I need some kind of help, advice because I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. Has anybody been through doing hard drugs and stopped? My friend is no help because she introduced me to these drugs and she needs help also :(.

Since the age of 15, i’ve been using molly, weed, alcohol, speed, xanax and cocaine. Molly was my biggest issue back then where I fucked my health by using it everyday and I suffer from internal problems which caused me to be depressed and have severe anxiety. That was about 2-3 years ago, now that i’m 20 and have a job, my friend suggested cocaine and ever since I got hooked to it while drinking alcohol and smoking weed. I can’t live a normal life anymore, I feel like I need to be on some drug to feel like myself because being sober doesn’t seem like an option to my brain. I still wake up craving weed, alcohol or anything that’ll make me happy and make the day go faster.

I am constantly worrying about myself and how much money I spend. I don’t do much in life other than party at clubs, do drugs and go back to work to pay for more drugs. I am tired of living this lifestyle, i’ve never seen a doctor for my health issues, don’t want to consult a therapist because of how close minded I am and hurt in my life that i’d rather deal with the pain myself. I NEED help but I can never get it. My life is such a mess and I would love to know how it feels to live a normal life without being scared if i’m going to die or kms one day. I am not enjoying life at the moment, i’m tired of living like this.",4.602593984962407,4.715551464912284,5.390668337510444,85.42078947368424,69.43859649122807,8.268671679197995,27.104427736006684,7.957251820313856,1.4704568086883878,1299,37,275,15,21,424,179,342,0.125,0.762,0.113,-0.6391,1,1,13,0,0,1,35.0,0,0,0,1,14,19,1,1,12,0,29,30,2,8,3,56,56,24,1,11,7,0,4,4,3,2,25,0,0,2,15,18,4,1,6,2,3,3,10,8,0,1,6,5,35,11,38,44,5,36,0,3,1,2,17,10,1,7,27,170,50,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14333983204208273,0.0,0.06424360527250529,0.058277480879000684,0.2107788256114589,0.0,0.06809024585713012,0.0,0.05257490422116489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050293455040483874,0.0,0.13039940288910107,0.0,0.0,0.05410114548963999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10110510030022823,0.0,0.16030605531999192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07339128071917471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753649300899467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104516637999989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479799706810208,0.06777846965538352,0.05662461976346023,0.0,0.06823118009993591,0.0,0.0,0.06729106736450867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06440341869448021,0.5336896024770615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05946859112607865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972538433138704,0.09393407290055188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15237936326609638,0.060778634150884886,0.034348167958060886,0.0,0.11209032070927996,0.0,0.052580933739573434,0.0,0.0,0.06509621672156476,0.0,0.06998497993582392,0.0588930957809771,0.0,0.0,0.13976413635472304,0.0,0.0,0.22033178684985447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037957706168654,0.0,0.0,0.13723787772737978,0.06524009449705953,0.0,0.0,0.06846154437486769,0.07226161175721954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786186804031863,0.12847544902186656,0.0,0.23221020191569056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05933590741325667,0.0,0.08776834481271548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06638200553465742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09665780019837174,0.19499133634067106,0.10141059295915268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12882897761644113,0.0,0.0,0.0689865485224998,0.0,0.04454937081995935,0.0,0.06995552103528119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06290747239163454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06582052603711946,0.0,0.0,0.05985024365504193,0.0,0.07427123140159504,0.0,0.10876709694648454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052502695252589736,0.05496435405194736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633305438231114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038335454917793735,0.15112453575410215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11356222928692085,0.0,0.0,0.038777109776447584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06337420836043704,0.0,0.04786191537967858,0.06676552632849253,0.0,0.0467021637914825,0.0,0.0,0.08467307709955188
addiction,Headshotmaster138,2020/01/29,Did your addiction cause brain fog or other cognitive problems? I have been dealing with my porn addiction for 5 years and one of the symptoms I experienced is a brain fog where I can't forget anything and have low motivation. I'm curious if people of other addictions had similar issues with their memory or mental health due to their addiction.,10.227619047619047,9.202941920634919,10.393650793650796,57.94857142857146,58.36507936507937,14.74920634920635,41.63492063492063,13.5591,6.152073015873016,283,13,43,10,3,95,49,63,0.077,0.82,0.102,0.1446,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,2,1,1,2,0,0,2,0,7,9,2,2,0,11,8,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,3,1,7,0,6,5,0,4,0,1,0,1,4,2,0,3,2,31,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7547466946497129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14243305630175795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3864370827687588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17780453674526125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17844159300325524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18397977457049325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18065431136592866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17442756054818184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11728592777064667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199943759766536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16561763112159553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17990013441750902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11146016455486163
addiction,the_lalassu_xul,2020/01/29,"I relapsed. (Alcohol) I used to be heavily addicted to marijuana for many years, but I am over 7 months clean from that.

I also have had on and off alcohol problems for the past two years or so.

I relapsed with alcohol this week. I have an amazing job that I love with a super supportive team but I am living with my parents while waiting for my new place to be ready for me to move in the spring.

My relationship with my parents is overall fine, but we definitely have problems that are super triggering for me. They are either hover/smother/helicopter over me or completely ignore my issues and pretend everything is fine. They also have very selfish tendencies and will do whatever it takes to keep doing what they want to do.

My parents want to move to a different house close by, and put the current house on the market. I told them it was too much for me to worry about constantly showing the house and stuff, but they do it anyway. I have mentioned suicidal thoughts and potential relapse, but they are still focused on the house. I don't think there is anything I can say to make them actually do what I need them to do.

After a weekend of cleaning the house and running around to let the house be shown, I had a breakdown. I told my parents that if they don't take the house off the market until I move out, that I will drink myself to death. Their solution? Only show the house when I'm not home, and sneak around the house whispering about moving (as if I can't hear them but I can). So like I said, they care slightly, but selfishly keep doing whatever they want to do. It has been like this my whole life and is probably the #1 reason I fell into addiction in the first place.

Idk what to do, I know I need help but I worry about getting my parents involved. No matter what, they will make it harder for me and hurt more than help. They don't let me go anywhere without asking a million questions, so going to meetings privately is not an option.

I am seeing my therapist on Friday, so I will talk through this with her, but I'm honestly scared to death. I don't want to fuck up my job because I love it, I don't want things to get even more difficult at home. I just have no idea how I'll get through this.",4.799842833685197,5.506291292517009,5.565632965830011,82.24489795918369,69.18140589569161,8.803847056063805,30.399640315896484,8.939507131559953,2.381425302994761,1744,67,347,30,29,569,206,441,0.127,0.701,0.172,0.9623,9,0,4,0,0,0,47.0,1,0,15,4,19,21,1,1,21,0,48,10,0,6,0,65,84,34,3,11,18,5,0,2,0,4,6,4,4,0,21,21,4,4,6,6,0,9,11,9,0,3,8,5,65,12,60,67,5,44,0,1,1,3,39,19,1,6,18,265,86,5,0.0,0.0,0.05842947850191758,0.13054543398496682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191964877259038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576422115877777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0492721207804637,0.10660309933707576,0.05597515318893207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03649931645661215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061046673710927625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06277792250625425,0.06470373200164173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06255675499419346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058654821369667084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039546951029969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05381189567855929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05092974515274574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05535358217743246,0.09384683438216557,0.0,0.06805681925738101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06748361006618253,0.0,0.08026605954596883,0.0,0.1201192514161196,0.0,0.0,0.6217906291700204,0.06409755265025624,0.06759172068752674,0.0,0.06249406760096093,0.11883363232682535,0.10643951271931087,0.0,0.0,0.032905799221705084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224527305243133,0.042291566867556925,0.0585039169156032,0.0,0.052870826540247384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080792641347768,0.0,0.07993421298522453,0.06070397232063609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04779174829207188,0.25455110086054394,0.0440151013684183,0.08879328328788681,0.0,0.0578277624890402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04553772564523026,0.0,0.0,0.3324211663921033,0.0,0.0571575755561265,0.0,0.0,0.1251135099883869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06455550461267172,0.11458480405993818,0.0,0.060191031644854176,0.06707383571067135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061561593937049776,0.0,0.06428346956057622,0.0,0.0,0.05695494889489555,0.047615097390003656,0.05994543885130199,0.0,0.04771271733418516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04781634692523946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06854268561035673,0.06549366144183533,0.06794557484665323,0.0,0.0,0.09003727502388366,0.04812535216807678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06951962737622927,0.039778368165201534,0.03836555824119119,0.0,0.04753415592096947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11442648311104295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05848929051503846,0.0,0.0,0.05171287804428623,0.0,0.04940324333773018,0.17657948081601138,0.0,0.04802820839628951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06684843146781493,0.0,0.0577174775217963,0.0,0.0,0.1216121783542888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07711522637725943
addiction,pb302,2020/01/29,"Dont want to do full program... First time getting clean was 01/11/19.. I went to rehab for a month then went home. I stuck to the program for 9 months. Meetings every day, working with a sponsor and doing the steps. I relapsed on the 9th month. Kept using on and off for the rest of the year. I just quit using again same date last year. Sober date is now 01/11/20. Been about 18 days. Thing is.. I dont wanna do the program. When I did the steps last time I didnt really get anything out of it. I got to the 6th step.  I dont wanna go to meetings either. Idono whats wrong with me lol. Do you any of you have sober time without having a program ?? what do you do ?",-0.6263498674744419,1.5592412230215869,1.0156758803483539,100.81091253313141,93.6043165467626,3.2140855736463467,17.387731919727376,4.4396938790447145,-0.958706474820144,506,14,117,1,19,162,81,139,0.053,0.904,0.043,0.1823,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,3,0,3,5,1,0,0,11,1,17,1,0,2,0,15,28,4,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,0,6,5,1,0,1,9,0,13,0,21,19,4,30,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,19,78,17,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10231358082471352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238104613162506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19406020040197208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5289913592906995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267636142409179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12797572221775969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572115518725914,0.0,0.08550622598037204,0.0,0.1203314570110614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15091718902314005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452794661418338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36027179119298297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600258819314217,0.0,0.0,0.09638440382829157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999546606667274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631920441896704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598871404452597,0.0,0.0,0.08874140845783438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2789439169504879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14503186395860007,0.0,0.1095319843786322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16449735047400432,0.0,0.19377432107735088
addiction,Barbwa,2020/01/29,"What are the long terms symptoms of withdrawal of codeine? So i've quit codeine in the last 2 months - i'm doing a step by step program where i reduc my use. Not using regular codeine but DICODIN wich doesn't give you the ""High"" but still bring some codeine in your body so you don't quit cold turkey. 

I've been able to cut by more than half my use of codeine and it's doing great so far. I had at the begining the  ""big"" symptoms sush as staying a loooooong time in the toilets etc... Now i have bones pain. In the morning, It can take me 10 min to be able to move properly, i feel like I'm 80 (I'm 38) - so is it normal? does it last long? 

Cause apart from that, I'm feeling ok, mentally i've still have some down but i'm staying focus and i didn't fall back to my old habits. I'm staying strong and I don't want to go back to the dark time of using, i want my mife back and I will!! 

**So my question is:** What are the long term symptoms you keep having after the 2/3 months of being ""clean"". When do you start feeling like ""normal"" again with no pain at all?",-0.4924715549936813,1.633334588495579,1.1852907711757257,100.9407300884956,90.28318584070792,4.1135271807838185,18.690897597977248,5.543175910156928,-0.5559438685208598,811,24,196,5,28,261,122,226,0.07400000000000001,0.815,0.111,0.8583,0,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,5,0,3,14,8,1,0,12,1,20,7,2,5,1,26,42,14,0,4,4,0,3,2,0,1,5,0,1,0,7,5,0,1,4,0,0,6,6,3,0,1,3,4,19,5,25,36,7,45,0,0,0,0,7,12,0,3,26,112,26,1,0.2094453256895072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.241575790750242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11632327038611576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10757902192667952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09164350796901527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11679345125764258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15885277469477133,0.14962778252173878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004595206331213,0.059516302629385766,0.0,0.0,0.11545710548981772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106452429686479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308231445212332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17072589473218666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102324406639849,0.0,0.0,0.2780287835627712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10553581311434214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671772607404009,0.11130361746825516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052119497224265,0.0,0.0,0.10988881840754648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22286459352707316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11731334929341625,0.2227708850055227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07412323976610417,0.33486127439653623,0.16726330764719707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3265408328614471,0.07873840956305826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12212925372424392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3617870283218049,0.0,0.0,0.12353627963294245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Girlfriendproblemsss,2020/01/29,"""Once an addict, always an addict"". With our brain structure and genetics as addicts, can we technically become addicted to any substance we try? I am a former cocaine addict (2013) 
I am a former crack addict (2013-2014)
I am a former pot addict (2011-2017)
I am a current cigarette smoker (2007-present)
I am a current sex and porn addict (2016-present)


I have been experimenting with opioids lately and found myself taking 20-30mg oxy daily for the past month now, straight. I wouldn't consider myself an oxy addict at this point, but last week, I told myself I'm not going to take them anymore and took them anyways.


I've tried about 14 different substances throughout my life and 4 of those became an addiction. So, I know, you won't get addicted to everything you try. But I wonder if you have a history of addiction, that you are more likely than someone else to get another addiction? I mean, my doc was cocaine and crack (stimulants). Why do I love oxys (sedative)? When I tried it, I was sure it was just a ""one time"" thing. Now over the course of months experimenting, I'm taking it daily just recently. What's even more odd to me is that now, I don't achieve the same ""high"" I was initially getting. I don't get the tingling and buzzing warm blanket feeling anymore. Just the calm ""I don't give a shit"" feeling.",3.9491386833617934,5.94594123505976,5.1025042686397315,79.76867197875168,72.90438247011951,7.968203376968317,29.083855055966612,8.704169506293173,2.464035704799848,1034,43,186,20,21,341,146,251,0.015,0.883,0.102,0.9586,3,0,5,0,0,0,53.0,3,4,2,1,11,6,1,0,17,0,21,20,2,1,1,28,41,13,0,2,7,0,3,1,0,2,15,0,0,0,9,11,0,0,6,0,0,2,6,1,0,1,8,3,33,5,16,31,3,24,0,0,0,3,12,5,1,2,18,121,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.882484555292845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05181357944509397,0.0,0.0,0.04234569536428183,0.06529546279679163,0.0,0.0,0.12351009853740308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687722577887107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06951384831969276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06505883510489778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052018545594078126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04112870890120556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05596420798934197,0.12182390237746127,0.0,0.0,0.06297110657745954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06827577647840294,0.0,0.0,0.13013389678439855,0.05973500172720308,0.035389442612878186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06579161176745535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03422193120085105,0.050758313161525764,0.0702432059961803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0439831010323271,0.0304219479091919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0562010531417095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06783022105925345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09940654600122042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06631545513987487,0.04219572373680229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0594437048956093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0588652218869332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061484054663827274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06391919983041668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05276111913134289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05868868267563735,0.0,0.14045773864749442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041369382018648086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036310103493339074,0.0,0.0,0.059501597365829724,0.06918419591580495,0.16910881035794229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04994919079047335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056188936491107615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06752909500705594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,anon_guy123,2020/01/29,"relapsed a few weeks back and been addicted since throwaway acc for this post specifically. 

a few weeks ago i relapsed for like the 2nd time since i quit on september first of 2019. I told myself i was done for good. 

i relapsed a couple months later but caught myself and stayed on track for another month or so. 

Until 2 weeks back i got high again and started another binge. the binge has been going on for a little over 2 weeks i think but i’m ending it. Ive been nothing but miserable everyday. I used to love my job , now it’s a chore to me. Everyday i wake up wanting it to be nighttime so i can get high again. I count down the hours until it’s time for me to take the pills. 

It’s really taken on a toll on me. I thought maybe that this binge would be different and i’d be happy. Normally i’m happy when i’m on drugs, but that wasn’t the case. I’m tired of being mad 24/7. 

i want to enjoy my job again. i want to wake up with that hustle mentality that i had woken up to everyday before this binge. i want to be sober again. 


idk why i’m posting this to be honest. i guess it’s just a confession to myself. i never really accepted this being a binge/relapse so it’s time to face the facts. idk when the next binge will be but i’m hoping it’s never again. 


wish me luck reddit.",0.11886029411764555,2.3138216948529404,2.4750000000000014,92.45750000000002,87.56617647058823,5.752941176470588,17.691176470588232,7.1686216300943375,0.20763382352941206,999,25,222,16,32,340,129,272,0.062,0.775,0.163,0.9819,3,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,2,14,12,1,1,15,0,20,8,3,1,3,30,46,17,0,8,7,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,1,0,17,5,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,2,0,1,13,0,28,10,33,23,2,52,1,1,0,1,3,14,0,4,34,141,45,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11986854714339365,0.0,0.0,0.09746958489656696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305974394142804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690991444474049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356467359525847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12166450378230664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11488088255959558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11252342396069603,0.0,0.0,0.12751434597882075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09738860440493816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352873358322046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05744760450062825,0.0,0.062490673159217726,0.09222608911664207,0.08794206111467041,0.0,0.12112921049078715,0.0,0.0,0.2341009542777716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323496389899101,0.0,0.10921137047342278,0.10828476130741603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2182292313713418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05371907165806149,0.11020505317257998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09923981232200492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11046583638850993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11081004216589896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17553206598932058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696100835306528,0.0,0.11693972368303428,0.0,0.10773378311422778,0.10550599136463043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21061539346176875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11695201103937825,0.0,0.0,0.14088158396003658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819138993291416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07782760260780924,0.11719873674668957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267341887350839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07045552780109378,0.0,0.08729298353844071,0.19234912806628265,0.1263785388924254,0.0,0.1050679128833284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496689957744396,0.0,0.0,0.2594201901929406,0.0,0.3528010983839591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09921841674194933,0.0,0.12644426573128975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810976812773544,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ajlawnsdail,2020/01/29,"4 Years Clean I started using meth when I was 15, mostly because it was easy. My mom always had some and she never made me pay, plus everyone in my family uses so I figured I should too. It was amazing but also terrible.I remember that I lost 20 lbs and my mom said I looked better like that. 

But I didn’t, I was 15 and I weighed 90 pounds. I couldn’t stop picking at my face,I was hearing things and I was paranoid constantly.

Today I am 19 and 4 years clean, I haven’t relapsed once. I have my own place, a job, and I’m in college. I’m doing more than anyone in my family ever has and I’m proud.",-0.9403167420814462,1.1357167692307684,2.096968325791856,93.64861990950227,92.84615384615385,4.904977375565611,18.416289592760183,6.522977012572876,0.07743438914027179,460,14,104,6,17,162,80,130,0.066,0.7559999999999999,0.17800000000000002,0.9169,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,3,5,5,0,0,1,0,15,1,0,4,2,23,26,13,0,2,2,2,0,1,0,1,0,2,2,0,5,8,1,1,2,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,11,3,22,4,6,13,4,14,0,1,1,0,5,5,0,2,10,68,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14051005480097134,0.146199417832448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285599815554556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10710724513727196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553954997946968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18987310332330126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15893390814201525,0.0,0.16789225890489426,0.0,0.0,0.331275314330262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19803065557950408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743586486518429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583987289212552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475467187425226,0.0,0.191801165878364,0.0,0.0,0.16625493473793532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4115637171931926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355133992650555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18711853221832445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18357279923639586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990378556980168,0.0,0.1671342990852438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243638676013986,0.0,0.0,0.1468960241458714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167296224655479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16654640829487194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035028840623569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22629463390701535
addiction,tweetygang,2020/01/29,"Looking for someone who I can talk to about this I’ve been struggling I had a lot of addictive behaviors food addiction eating and throwing up after, obsessing over people and thoughts and I feel like I have a porn addiction now that I stopped the food one. I don’t know what to do and I feel so ashamed",3.432786885245904,5.1970221147540965,4.2565245901639335,86.27495081967214,73.75409836065575,8.158688524590165,31.872131147540983,8.841846274778883,2.675659672131148,243,12,49,5,5,78,45,61,0.18899999999999997,0.768,0.043,-0.8220000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,3,3,0,6,7,0,0,0,10,11,5,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,4,3,1,4,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,3,3,7,1,8,8,1,6,0,0,1,1,2,2,0,1,4,36,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6436296839296319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20137757665033806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19901800786609747,0.14059538740879626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4759475167499368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10815723183371743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614751585865842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16526411331034338,0.0,0.0,0.16731402184407027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13335812779844888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364377264242829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667496951064271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16453528337452458,0.0,0.20574017965035107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15818199206930744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15623880420972092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Wolfe895,2020/01/29,"Struggling with thought of relapse I've really been going though a rough patch in life family troubles, schools getting to me and just feeling depressed. I started drinking when I was like 10 and started smoking weed, xanax, adderall and painkillers my freshman year(15). I really got deep into the painkillers with a friend of mine I remember even stealing them from him, I quit but then relepased when a doctor gave me a codeine script about 8 months ago. The cycle just started again i was using everyday for about a month and it took something from me that I cant put my finger on. I just want someone to save me from this and love me thru it but no one understands were I'm coming from, it's always met with judgement. I dont want to get high but it always gets on my mind when I'm upset it just takes over me. I've been clean for about 6 months, I know I'm stronger then this but it wears on me alot",2.9621616022099424,4.9732083756906125,3.1644164364640908,92.52408321823204,75.74033149171271,5.850966850828731,26.782113259668503,6.6274283507984215,0.9904831491712708,720,28,148,6,16,220,109,181,0.081,0.7809999999999999,0.139,0.8873,0,0,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,1,13,9,0,2,8,0,7,7,2,1,0,29,31,15,0,2,8,0,3,1,1,0,3,0,1,0,9,10,1,0,5,1,0,4,3,5,0,1,10,3,23,4,24,21,1,26,0,1,0,1,6,8,0,1,15,94,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13328106082126545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502156076692591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295179323753357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12950095434537226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538952045775308,0.0,0.0,0.1762155024162315,0.14729112917455314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993083763038652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14174176496374252,0.0,0.07602424821171386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161642706413574,0.0,0.2356635973450396,0.0,0.08545048405545097,0.0,0.12025301234851846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15885881938902166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08263143950622492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062005218501092,0.07345609263154038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13570169069680707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15181617296519578,0.0,0.36003692825866906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10188476427339227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15114878555808914,0.0,0.1599215602800592,0.0,0.0,0.19264314073256306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703234484481383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15216777254977912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12739571002567693,0.11575099397521915,0.0,0.0,0.3192671472157892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15718419305437498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11304860876215887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14772349540627885,0.11936545600971805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670504702394318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565253569358351,0.0,0.12985885937669694,0.0,0.0,0.1773671150034178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682399932711873
addiction,babyboi1998,2020/01/29,"Not quite a ''Drug'' but i am almost 24 hours clean of Caffeine. I have been consuming about 12 liters of caffeinated beverages per week. After my Urinary incontinence returned and my bladder was acting like a 60 year old, i decided to take action and stop having anything caffeinated. It really does feel weird now, i feel a bit of depression and a low dissociative mood, i am not sure if this is withdrawal. Since stopping the caffeinated drinks my bladder is starting to become normal again. The results are still inconclusive. I have been drinking apple juice and water.

It says the caffeine half life is about 5-6 hours meaning about 12-13 hours to fully clear out, but because i had so much maybe it will take a further few days to completely get out of my system and bladder? Since drtinking the apple juice i feel much more hydrated and don't get the urge to refill my cup every 10 minutes like i did with the coca cola and other caffeine energy drinks.

My urinary incontinence was initially a side effect or believed to be a result of my antipsychotics, however the caffeine was likely the main cause. 

 I also understand this is a sub for more serious stuff, i have experience with  opioid addiction, if that earns me any points here",7.852520242914982,8.120500399122808,7.914912280701755,69.5545141700405,62.55263157894736,11.050472334682862,35.95951417004049,10.727762888450028,4.075193927125508,993,42,162,23,13,322,141,228,0.084,0.841,0.075,-0.2225,1,0,5,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,3,9,9,0,0,16,0,21,10,3,4,2,34,31,14,0,3,7,0,3,3,0,1,3,1,1,0,8,11,4,2,7,3,0,2,3,4,0,1,7,4,19,4,20,22,7,24,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,4,18,111,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392624241212548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12791955936314114,0.0,0.0,0.10215874409051427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868719276480152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10512439649590204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07787301529216188,0.14108585421532255,0.0,0.1439264389698048,0.0,0.0,0.13946597480525835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13123073466863694,0.0,0.0,0.13393966227151252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238585509758327,0.0,0.1100277808458524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11179172912151576,0.0,0.0,0.375428493865806,0.1481452587391742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10763184550841136,0.0,0.0,0.12496048467373147,0.0,0.0,0.1937772434997052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334844352980467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3774133927815772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023105507528284,0.18723130426439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12833842175164512,0.1391532717910837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18781659464901887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12516434172087773,0.0,0.0,0.1340483498847875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12076163238682833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13587401325316886,0.0,0.0,0.08183761029841627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10158905884161594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2113462722762498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09041955426174987,0.0,0.10201843422878486,0.21360340880784198,0.0,0.0,0.14623905658743366,0.0,0.0,0.12039946330544235,0.0,0.19209877815476986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13298850002158552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247045068214808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226448857026418
addiction,Azeoth,2020/01/29,"Video game addiction So I think I’m addicted to video games. I play hours and hours and always want more. I can never get them off my mind, the music, the lore, the gameplay, it’s all I can think about all of the day. I’m content with the games I have, I hold ones that I’m bad at or don’t enjoy in contempt but the rest I love. I don’t consider stealing to get more games but I’m still addicted. It’s the only thing besides a good show that can end my suffering and stop my boredom. What does this mean and why am I addicted?",-0.4604135338345898,1.6609252894736883,1.766416040100253,96.90157894736844,89.96491228070175,5.3624060150375925,18.669172932330827,6.868970318607317,0.08780150375939844,409,12,97,6,14,137,69,114,0.16399999999999998,0.713,0.122,-0.7184,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,0,3,8,1,0,8,0,7,5,0,0,3,18,18,8,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,7,5,0,2,3,8,0,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,13,4,8,18,5,10,0,1,0,1,6,3,0,1,7,59,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7141721776494908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13627706466599218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13674843991609326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562376375720506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143323913707692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14505938660230255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17113530523516285,0.0,0.0,0.1373698698911742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3225782143528497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478167429333007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17840310437142898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16536987930719918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263162914637385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11098073968045498,0.1245611420350568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13079394494477034,0.13692639326817538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880734372968033,0.2098856577320439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09660096756590472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477848744232442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,namsd,2020/01/29,Wanted to be sober for a month. Currently on Day 4 of my alcohol and coke bender. I struggle with addiction since 11 years. Tried to be sober for a month and fucked it up completely. How do u deal with being disappointed with yourself after a failed attempt to get clean?,3.2440384615384623,5.665187634615389,4.350615384615383,82.39438461538461,76.5,8.006153846153849,25.784615384615392,8.841846274778883,2.204456923076924,215,8,40,5,5,70,41,52,0.231,0.722,0.048,-0.8859999999999999,1,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,1,4,1,1,3,0,4,4,0,1,0,7,7,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,12,4,0,8,0,2,0,1,1,2,1,0,6,25,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3202797899352389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31397738287575155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3080383467902709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18947339550340184,0.3028896255017934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27160863663745793,0.15349570125125142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4690085477944872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430301645090421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071382030611425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19946744142045256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17328783488249264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18919427321955384
addiction,throwaway53627636,2020/01/29,"I’m thinking about kicking the habit, how bad will the withdraws be? So I’ve been popping a couple hydrocodone pills every Friday for about 3 weeks now and I feel like I should kick it now before it gets really bad. I was just wondering how bad the withdrawals will be and if I need to check myself into a hospital if the withdrawals are extremely bad for the well being of myself so I don’t relapse.",4.076666666666668,5.4995540000000025,4.949999999999998,83.32166666666669,71.5,7.333333333333335,27.083333333333336,7.793537801064563,1.6527083333333334,320,11,60,4,6,104,54,80,0.172,0.772,0.055999999999999994,-0.8859999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,10,6,0,0,7,0,10,1,0,2,0,13,16,8,0,4,3,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,1,0,1,4,1,0,2,1,7,2,7,8,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,4,45,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7644203127376611,0.0,0.0,0.1947598576114104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25325115262525466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928411085548408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11572850727920846,0.1635117795582531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958025227617497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11181911233292006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16971147645892007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14662626490216893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14665693829955462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18359357502715404,0.0,0.20579043348165385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482103868849533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,bordedlinebit-h,2020/01/29,i didn’t relapse i’ve been sober for 4 months (i think). i had a really terrible day today and i had the pills in my hand but i got myself to put them back.,-1.360833333333332,0.34789458333333195,2.0144444444444467,96.65000000000002,89.27777777777777,5.822222222222222,14.555555555555555,7.1686216300943375,-0.3904777777777784,119,2,31,2,4,43,30,36,0.073,0.858,0.069,-0.0249,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,4,2,1,0,0,3,6,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,5,1,8,0,3,1,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,20,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34339939177117074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880129739264403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3571780377312773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3564630968066069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44894531601951215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2860963631822688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2861562129468682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4233141747551597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,hulklog,2020/01/30,"Advice needed regarding co codamol 30mg/500mg addiction / damage caused with quantity taken Hello there ,

I am currently in the process of cutting down, and determined to get this out of my life once and for all.

 For the past 2years or so I have been taking 4 zapain (co codamol 30/500) tablets, 3 times a day, with 4 hours between each dose.

I have researched this and now know it's the paracetamol in these tablets that damage the liver.

Is there anybody out there that has been through a similar thing that can comment on if this sort of quantity causes major irreversable damage? 

I have recently had a liver blood test....which the doctor said looks fine but I've read these tests are  not accurate in showing damage done? Maybe a liver scan will show damage over a blood test ? And with this going on for so long I am finding it very hard to believe no damage has been done. My mind is racing at the moment and I am worrying allot, as I have come to the realisation of how serious this. 

Just cannot believe how stupid I have been, I hope someone can reply and speak about this with me.

Thanks",4.6623983253588515,6.353809339712921,4.974231459330143,82.66555771531105,70.43540669856459,7.9044258373205745,27.895035885167466,8.472884824447931,2.025652870813397,868,31,160,14,16,274,127,209,0.141,0.792,0.067,-0.9315,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,0,10,12,2,0,12,0,24,9,5,4,1,31,35,14,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,14,14,0,0,2,3,0,2,3,9,0,0,9,5,12,3,28,25,4,21,0,6,2,0,4,10,0,5,9,113,26,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18057964103583066,0.0,0.1618682959744319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3732548079459434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3403301229152448,0.0,0.14269019199524752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10682858806908364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16954668659069416,0.0,0.3390287108867315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513983240355614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08654370179928851,0.0,0.09414098690693007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14838714325401706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16452481111270986,0.16312889237868328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09103523930430064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11700134934885136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14659235042494811,0.13910173040255286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16641463967939074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167256212874139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12282512480954233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17640861039665676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15812877036499462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16569179029766734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635563930296553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575681954198213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14035213494804372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12454590181629477,0.0,0.0,0.15250546896623007,0.0,0.0,0.11004848235581176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09659007673412197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667609315175966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682225325117982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,runningwithpenguins,2020/01/30,"Sugar addiction: I don’t know what to do I have come to the realization that I’m addicted to sugar. I can’t stop eating baked goods, candy, you name it. I binge so much I feel stuffed after and I cry for hours. My boyfriend doesn’t seem to understand and he says “everyone in this day in age is addicted to sugars. That’s why everyone is so fat but you’re not fat. You’re fine” he’s right, I’m not fat but if you set a cupcake out in front of me I don’t even care if I fell on the floor, I’d probably still eat it. 

I’ve try hard for 2 months to cold turkey it and it’s just so hard. There is so many distractions at work, with friends and with my boyfriend. I just feel so helpless.... how do I get past this phase?",-0.974999999999998,1.0657711656050992,1.3759585987261147,99.17935191082806,92.12101910828024,5.4329936305732485,17.404140127388533,6.961326702584282,-0.10916789808917217,551,15,139,9,20,185,93,157,0.081,0.86,0.059000000000000004,0.2009,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,0,1,11,6,0,1,3,0,10,12,3,1,0,24,20,14,0,2,8,0,4,0,1,0,6,1,1,0,9,8,9,1,5,0,0,3,6,2,0,0,0,9,15,4,18,20,1,20,0,1,0,0,7,8,0,3,8,77,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5161387130974558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16090720625621113,0.0,0.0,0.13594727815679347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17335699540366126,0.1017803366457656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3229769100281378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423810208424883,0.0,0.0,0.3016060433744093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15959627255858105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193073285787707,0.0,0.08245402530272243,0.0,0.0,0.13237126859678852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827500328756681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554201350317975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08673331240723409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600039117777429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259697905276825,0.0,0.11601528082943448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506562968961289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701558048006399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13477674601423134,0.0,0.1255041729697295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14367268468968808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12603462775959232,0.13194392915746406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10714888643708656,0.0,0.0,0.16429536704061518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14240729296984492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148942670412973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,drbanimahd,2020/01/30,"Let's Help Find Damien--Homeless, Heroin/Crystal Meth Addict. Sponsor Is Looking to Pay $18,000 towards His Treatment Hi all. Let's help find Damien!

Damien is a kind, intelligent person who was sex trafficked to America from Greece.  He is now addicted to heroin, crystal meth, and is currently homeless living on Skid Row in Los Angeles.  He was recently interviewed in a video on YouTube ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gd1vn-CnOUI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gd1vn-CnOUI)).

After watching the interview, an individual reached out to my nonprofit American Addiction Institute of Mind & Medicine and has tentatively offered $18,000 to sponsor his treatment.  Please help us find him so we can get him the help that he so desperately needs.  We are in contact with the interviewer but he was unable to reach him at the phone number Damien provided.  If anyone has any suggestions on how we can spread this to hopefully find him, please advise.  

Faried Banimahd MD",7.924795698924732,11.531790812903225,6.101935483870971,69.71956989247313,66.67741935483872,9.29462365591398,34.8494623655914,9.725611199111238,4.208604301075268,796,38,110,20,15,232,103,155,0.034,0.816,0.15,0.929,1,0,2,0,0,0,49.0,4,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,7,0,14,4,0,1,1,18,18,7,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,7,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,11,2,20,13,1,13,1,0,2,1,29,9,0,2,4,64,14,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4581332793438597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517798183899389,0.0,0.09526121001995264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09794925611219972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5121331159276034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318755994942247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.375578595714948,0.0,0.0,0.13913397770301816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14587483644785765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864886156859578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123695811770244,0.0,0.11763439766553795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14144384689054348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386973284481782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231502916498685,0.0,0.3075380271566821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383150139305413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16850254154738062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ifeeldumbwtf,2020/01/30,"I don't know if I'm developing a drug/weed problem Hi everyone,

The title basically says it all, to further extend: I'm not actually smoking a lot of weed, maybe like once every two weeks, once a week at most. But I used to smoke like once a month and only with friends like 3 months back. Now I've also smoked alone sometimes and I feel the urge to smoke some a lot more often. The feeling comes back after I did smoke more quickly. But on the other hand that's basically all, I don't have any negative effects. I have loads of good friends, sports 4 times a week, uni is going great and I'm graduating soon. I also don't feel the need to pass on other activities in order to get high, it's just that when I'm alone at home after a day of studying for example, I feel like ""I could get high now"". If a friend would call me that moment and ask to hang out, I would have no problem ditching the weed and meeting him/her. But I feel like consuming drugs always is like a walk on the edge. I'm doing good now and most of the time I'm smoking with friends on the weekends, but if I'm already developing some sort of craving now, even if it's solely due to boredom, am I risking to much? What do you think?",3.957976190476188,4.183417853174603,5.302499999999998,85.09875,70.86507936507937,8.046031746031746,28.051587301587304,7.865858978985527,1.5124873015873015,937,31,207,11,16,315,132,252,0.06,0.8029999999999999,0.13699999999999998,0.904,0,2,6,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,0,1,14,16,0,1,18,0,15,2,1,2,2,45,36,17,0,10,10,0,6,6,4,2,1,1,1,0,9,10,0,0,8,2,0,5,6,3,0,1,1,7,14,13,26,32,11,39,0,0,0,0,10,11,0,12,28,125,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0994110035288857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21101442308228152,0.11241673228884633,0.16293175245854385,0.08476449386344903,0.0,0.0,0.06927549637161799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09523525271601084,0.0,0.0,0.15666439547959715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10402126502805703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775249542824218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133537903720893,0.0,0.0,0.06569810478950128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362750916692143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0672845657567848,0.0,0.0858303680470806,0.09734171695522277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575441628538689,0.14555274365192586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31481986907697124,0.0,0.10644636033201442,0.0,0.057895405477033327,0.17088843998734873,0.0,0.11231268815810498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21526374867957254,0.10218451056364536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05598541363743938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29861295565524143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17321347008372096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234270277066196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16262427048561978,0.0,0.07488660706284572,0.0755357537375913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3254665697944558,0.0,0.07747717626243825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949527987039171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810115841528612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10075262106881418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06527456248950703,0.0,0.0,0.11880312372565735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099512766755255,0.0,0.0,0.08798348425411086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451433343297545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14473189258020489,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,DomusRetreat,2020/01/30,Opioid Pandemic: more people knowingly use fentanyl   We are seeing more and more patients coming in for medically assisted fentanyl detox. We need to start providing accessible individualized mental health care or this tragedy will continue escalating.,11.72369369369369,15.490184432432434,11.225405405405404,36.549099099099095,56.02702702702703,14.663063063063063,47.468468468468465,13.023866798666859,8.683349549549549,212,13,20,9,3,69,33,37,0.10300000000000001,0.8220000000000001,0.075,-0.29600000000000004,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,8,9,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,3,8,3,4,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,2,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3570018574578582,0.0,0.0,0.30162372430378304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3721936978014613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19243360414543292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35273987641794863,0.3528694331237001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25963222184440704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24275032739002125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790246818905183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478383860957125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3024176813256439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,peculiar_abyss,2020/01/30,How did you get rid of your addiction? Just looking to know your individual experiences. Tell me what worked for you. How did you get to the method that worked for you. Tell me your whole story.,1.7464864864864855,4.514893378378378,2.6041081081081106,89.57264864864867,88.18918918918921,6.203243243243244,18.210810810810813,7.554174236665415,0.5052529729729733,153,4,32,3,5,48,24,37,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,7,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,2,0,4,6,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,9,0,5,4,1,0,0,0,1,0,9,0,0,0,0,23,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337884006053518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.299509078499147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3199395418038205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16827205299449385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25711948393613315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5352408664014483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3418462115678122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44581473152002377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,corncobble96,2020/01/30,"I've smashed too many drugs at partys Hello 

Where do I start. 23 year old disabled male. Like alot here, my life revolves around drugs. Been smoking weed daily for 5 years, and I've been drinking for a bit longer. I can go a week or two here and there without alcohol, but when I do drink I'll binge for few days till I can feel myself deteriorating. This was ok. A little over a year ago however I did mdma for the first time and I feel like that has taken my addictions next level. I also did ketamine around then aswell. Fuck even just thinking about my first times on mdma I'm getting cravings. I was glowing, I felt connection with everything. Quickly though it started to cook me. No serotonin left. 

I party with mates alot. I play in DIY garage bands around my city. Last time I snorted a drug was at a rave. Thought I got my friends mdma, turned out to be speed. Whoops. That was a few weeks ago. Before this, I told myself I wouldn't do it until June. Lol.
Every come down is just getting worse and worse. And then I'll have some ketamine to make the few days after easier. I actually think I have done some serious damage. Over the year I would've averaged about 2 nights on mdma every 3 weeks. All those nights I've had a lot too. Some house party's I threw ran from Friday to Monday, essentially being a drug den after the first night. It's so fucking stupid but so much fun.

If I keep doing this I'm going to fuck myself up hardcore. I know that. I just don't like sobriety. I had a major stroke as a young child and without going into too much detail, that whole experience gave me massive ptsd and depression. I think it has something to do with that, although my dad is a functioning addict aswell and as far as I'm concerned he did not have too difficult of a past.  

I will stop, I just hope I do it's before it's too late. I practice mindfulness and non duality (advaita vedanta/some schools of Buddhism) so I am very aware of my thoughts and existence. But why do I still do it? I swear, every time now right as I'm about to snort or eat it in a cap it's just like I'm sitting in the back of my head thinking ""holy shit what a dumbass"" about myself. My body is detached and just does drugs. Why the fuck does it do that? Aaahhh  

Anyway I forgot the point of this. I'm going to smoke some weed. Hopefully I'll post in a few months saying I'm clean from mdma/ket/speed. Making this post could be a real seed. Beautiful. 

If you read this far thank you for taking the time to think about my experience with drugs. Peace!",0.8996609899729435,3.3007123106796117,2.481263727518705,92.31039789909279,86.0873786407767,5.241126850230781,19.510584115868216,6.712420376136187,0.2261211204838456,1980,57,417,24,61,645,258,515,0.10800000000000001,0.769,0.12300000000000001,0.7736,1,0,13,0,0,0,63.0,0,2,0,3,35,21,6,0,27,2,39,22,3,2,1,67,85,33,0,6,16,1,4,4,2,2,11,1,2,2,24,21,5,3,11,6,0,7,6,10,0,4,22,8,50,11,57,57,17,81,0,2,1,4,13,25,5,13,50,264,74,2,0.0,0.0,0.0644790835181813,0.1440616989343427,0.0,0.0,0.11714193864239612,0.070613439601021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05283967418901204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17646067503135512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050807135437070265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11244889639185926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07213613220062165,0.07339376352203131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05691724538322718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05275503225756354,0.0,0.0,0.08522504421711401,0.0,0.0569097843106187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156443062489776,0.06761705222928699,0.0,0.1294555153599274,0.4597519639134856,0.0676106071795943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04364151835219805,0.0,0.16701159650086025,0.0,0.05938341064631634,0.12926688469879294,0.0,0.0,0.06681840438900492,0.04720356490268175,0.06344178630709335,0.0,0.0,0.1686085538734943,0.0,0.0,0.0510489179034859,0.2443388741271785,0.06904229425729562,0.0,0.15020641790374434,0.0,0.05284573407239069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06781139735386021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131253576924798,0.0,0.07624098683102698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058729963078805576,0.0,0.0,0.036312762507014235,0.05385945522108065,0.07453480173576939,0.0,0.07179002944877443,0.0,0.04667030310870323,0.12912245810368195,0.06622390764526105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05617409244217611,0.0,0.0,0.08821035078834795,0.06698907129590766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06671630878696777,0.0,0.052739956073769655,0.0,0.09714457393633312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702708745044591,0.18601904653358545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06933396838954038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06307549172904713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06246166558390321,0.0,0.1265620220103739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07723743828043128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06609228114762544,0.07520713326941945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564271769825173,0.0,0.052545015291136365,0.0,0.06687082082607583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06782442257445084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050867301589927215,0.0,0.0,0.09353560148064084,0.0,0.05276710157229389,0.05524115741413427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04967972609770875,0.0,0.0,0.0608324305830646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21168903928983634,0.06491776299007962,0.10491138679233136,0.19264257137042284,0.0,0.0,0.06313692121149568,0.0,0.0,0.07186997397667172,0.06454508827961837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054518300264103765,0.0,0.0,0.15900269554748814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11924373842891454,0.07376970847910612,0.0,0.12738672837768075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13467091795896413,0.04693735833132316,0.0,0.0,0.17019899029013527
addiction,knuckfleur,2020/01/30,"Started a free 6 x phone call intervention program called ""Ready 2 Change"" and it's going well. Available in VIC, Australia - I didn't know it existed until a few weeks ago, but maybe something similar near you? I've been struggling with alcohol for over half my life (33f), cocaine use for the past 3 years, and a smorgasbord of consistent heavy recreational dabbling throughout. I went off the rails at the end of last year, and a dear group of friends stepped in for a heart wrenching (and admittedly very well done) intervention a few week ago.

I'm 3 weeks into this program called ""Ready 2 Change"": [https://www.directline.org.au/ready-2-change](https://www.directline.org.au/ready-2-change)

I was told of them when I spoke to an online counsellor here: [https://www.counsellingonline.org.au/](https://www.counsellingonline.org.au/)

I didn't like AA at all. I've responded well to SMART meetings in the past but I've been unable to attend meetings in person, the online ones weren't really cutting it. R2C have online modules to work through that echo the SMART Cognitive Behavioural Therapy approach. I'm really appreciating the one on one attention and my counsellor is wonderful. It's confronting as fuck, but it's helping remarkably with how overwhelming everything felt a few weeks ago. 

Hope this recommendation might be able to do something good for you, or at least help you find something similar in your area if it's your jam.

Thanks submates, it's nice to skim and not feel alone with this. Everyone is already doing something good for themselves by being here so kudos to you x",8.914183250414595,10.799475152985076,6.683830845771142,73.66158374792704,60.52985074626864,10.134660033167496,35.411276948590384,10.25414643259724,3.820914759535655,1303,55,203,28,18,374,164,268,0.044000000000000004,0.7020000000000001,0.255,0.9962,0,1,6,0,0,0,71.0,0,6,1,1,8,19,3,2,15,0,15,4,1,2,1,28,31,16,0,2,6,0,2,1,1,1,2,1,0,1,11,10,1,0,7,0,1,5,4,5,4,4,11,3,14,15,36,17,5,35,0,1,0,1,22,14,1,5,17,120,25,3,0.10169768253806437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27044657844885833,0.10868389439299457,0.0,0.1053281286931184,0.11222592155383034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31153411306175743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32274799048136754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10407203791765396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09007396125733244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717649382356104,0.09139931956078737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05142140396470657,0.0,0.09764572356284663,0.0,0.09294983943092863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07857137725689957,0.09401786877181624,0.0,0.0,0.057797136610395775,0.17059838219812265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12051224346285665,0.13633162582024105,0.0,0.0,0.10100874545835943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05589038669875479,0.08289718467739833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071832080734416,0.049684350739733416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10216899120707536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10788517002137801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067389449335102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19416389063044145,0.0,0.0887984937297596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13030027910374814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3131673780681443,0.0,0.0,0.07198214313554137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631649872297012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362956256649152,0.1163001630231938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717649382356104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08783414533491278,0.0,0.08391123873682185,0.0,0.0,0.32630298648955397,0.0,0.2743152900072016,0.09427477057826808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11028679857983728,0.07403712410126415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13097994653003642
addiction,kent_touchthis16,2020/01/30,"Video Game addiction please help. Need advice I know you might’ve read the top and rolled your eyes. That’s what I would do if I saw that. I always felt strongly against the fact that I had an addiction to video games. But I need to start being honest with myself so I figure this is the best place. 

I’ve been told to just moderate my time but I can’t. I come home from work and instead of being productive like furthering my career or aspirations I just sit and play videos games until 2 or 3 only to wake up 5 hours later. I do this almost everyday. I feel like I’m at the point where I can’t go to bed without playing. I tell myself I’ll only play a few games but it never turns into that. I’m starting to realize that these are normal symptoms of addiction. The worst part is I sold my gaming system 6 months ago and things were great. My relationships, work ethic, job life. 
I just saw it one day and thought “maybe I’m better now. I won’t go overboard again” so I bought another one. And now it has gotten back to the point. 

I consider myself a pretty antisocial person I really enjoy playing video games. They have been a big part of my life and have got me through tough times. Something about encompassing myself into a virtual world and just being “away from life” is something that I enjoy very much. But I know it’s really bad. I know I should just sell it again and keep it out of my life. I dont know what’s stopping me. Maybe I just need reinforcement. I’m 23 with a lot of career aspirations and goals. But I really feel like it’s ruining my life. Just to. Throw this out there, It’s 4 in the morning and I can’t sleep. Just got finished staring at a screen for 5 hours. Can’t sleep.",0.9222707736389708,3.2661019684813795,2.7571626074498568,90.83528545845274,85.189111747851,5.896876790830946,18.75365329512894,7.268377926160553,0.3972583954154727,1333,35,283,21,40,442,177,349,0.055999999999999994,0.7909999999999999,0.154,0.9852,1,0,2,0,0,0,32.0,0,2,1,7,19,18,0,0,14,0,24,13,4,0,2,57,54,22,0,7,17,0,3,3,0,3,9,0,2,1,21,18,0,2,10,15,3,4,8,4,0,2,14,8,44,14,32,34,7,44,0,1,5,0,14,18,0,5,23,182,65,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30760206302316784,0.0,0.09190962593968983,0.0833742353900666,0.0,0.09418266894175872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07826143806006093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09862504910878102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883679305998867,0.07232262191522569,0.0785321402873891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987051007166442,0.08318415669707076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08102020282969594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06065780522360966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11023196159529366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951142424392372,0.13438606794653515,0.09030771534831944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069074439824324,0.0,0.15044902698298868,0.1036961596420818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06304319947828448,0.0,0.09434500673191393,0.0,0.18525079773310216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09333524568025736,0.08360055882513946,0.0,0.0,0.2067610520372697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33216974912710806,0.13785181900921867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996234415062525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889821251499062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977767452688248,0.0,0.0,0.07507394129065273,0.0,0.06914137385894553,0.20922215575230171,0.07254114729133096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09215409917216523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12746843800384755,0.1430663938346441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037051722524625,0.0,0.0,0.08212534868406557,0.09826763656074293,0.10324433508405673,0.17782507851934068,0.0,0.0,0.09568792380070226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09408062509005223,0.0,0.18076245562665616,0.0,0.0,0.10098005601838893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882461958906188,0.0,0.0,0.14481653370490438,0.0,0.0,0.13314547028293736,0.0,0.0,0.0786343356588237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09775933723150892,0.0,0.0,0.08220836634866248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062486077262164215,0.0,0.0,0.07466930084044615,0.1096886548249245,0.0,0.0,0.08987374789759849,0.0,0.0,0.10230501897533598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07760536750483032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09066582985068808,0.0,0.1369465714336552,0.0,0.0,0.06681409591572716,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Sigmund-,2020/01/30,"Consuming caffeine increases the probability of a relapse by enhancing cravings. I just found out, [in this article](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324768.php#mood), that *a 2015 study showed that caffeine does not directly stimulate dopamine production. Instead, it increases the number of available dopamine receptors in the brain. This may enhance dopamine's overall effect on the brain*.  

By having more dopamine receptors available you are more susceptible to cravings because you experience them more intensely. I've started and quit coffee 10 times now over the years. There was a pattern where I would ""fall off the wagon"" (relapse) during the periods in my life where I was drinking coffee but I didn't have the data to confirm this.  

[Here's the study for anybody interested.](https://www.nature.com/articles/tp201546)

There are a lot of articles that point this out:  
  
- [EFFECTS OF COFFEE & CIGARETTES ON ALCOHOLISM RECOVERY](http://www.drug-rehabs.com/addiction/alcohol/coffee-cigarettes-recovery/)
- [Smoking, coffee go hand-in-hand with relapse rates](https://www.phillytrib.com/news/health/smoking-coffee-go-hand-in-hand-with-relapse-rates/article_c5c7c806-b314-57d4-9615-66c70869746a.html)
- [An Unexpected Threat to Addiction Recovery: Caffeine](https://alorecovery.com/an-unexpected-threat-to-addiction-recovery-caffeine/)
- [Six Reasons to Quit Caffeine During Drug Addiction Recovery](https://twodreams.com/dream-journal/266-six-reasons-to-quit-caffeine-during-drug-addiction-recovery)
- [Many Recovering Alcoholics Depend on Coffee, Cigarettes](https://abcnews.go.com/Health/Healthday/story?id=5405884&page=1)


I hope this helps. Stay strong.",15.361709641255608,19.306609147982066,10.429481502242158,45.11265274663682,47.20627802690584,13.467376681614347,49.36350896860986,12.602617957971056,7.903107847533631,1412,79,134,44,16,389,132,223,0.033,0.8909999999999999,0.075,0.8185,1,0,10,0,0,0,151.0,0,2,1,5,8,3,1,0,14,0,9,9,2,5,0,17,13,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,9,4,3,0,4,2,0,4,2,1,0,1,4,0,9,2,22,7,6,23,0,0,0,0,4,13,0,4,5,79,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636712241875505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3877241251787645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620632837183714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737200770517334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700040673444589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10582991879363064,0.0,0.0,0.1184690117681418,0.42073418557609743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11829638962877885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13259758879618452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20618827062887876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570937917615694,0.0,0.0,0.08105932752743224,0.0,0.0,0.1201144772092723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08541906728091694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10281352942119376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226078171119526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114321460534817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13038701094079125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3858837116594888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12434001206191575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08559751387757696,0.1288992614312219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07051742829581216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590784936522351,0.0,0.0,0.07787735473281111
addiction,ibreakstereotypes-,2020/01/30,"I’m not an addict but losing my best friend who was is changing me. My first post, so this is still weird. To keep things nice and short, I’ve lost my 2 of my best friends the last couple years, 1 to suicide and the other to Heroine. We were the trio for a very long time, first psychedelics and drinking experiences. I have a ton of other friends but losing these  2 is something I wasn’t accustomed to, my family knows I’m not the same but I moved away from my hometown due to the drug habits, I’m so lost in this world without my 2 best friends and i just procrastinate every little thing and I have no passion. It’s like I’ve become addicted to doing nothing but wasting the days away. Being black and having these 2 show me metal core and warped tour, pretty much every other genre of music besides rap and R&B. Im just hurting for their parents cause no one deserves this pain",3.5289967897271275,5.094214724719102,4.0854253611557,88.41764044943821,73.10112359550561,6.209309791332263,25.63563402889245,6.5431188927421005,0.8799858747993579,703,23,141,5,14,222,109,178,0.156,0.593,0.252,0.9796,1,0,3,0,0,1,16.0,1,0,1,9,5,17,0,0,9,0,11,6,0,1,0,22,18,14,1,0,9,1,0,1,4,0,4,0,0,0,12,9,1,1,1,3,0,1,6,7,0,3,5,1,16,10,16,12,6,17,0,5,1,1,8,6,0,0,10,94,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540867623448231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126268635295011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189821598779016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287068214431352,0.0,0.0,0.3668976290238759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197164012564298,0.1232815182510792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289468363262777,0.0,0.0751572267854835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141626574197063,0.13514682581210305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19637621076176928,0.0,0.0,0.11399631010351766,0.10986144682510786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982539512549831,0.0,0.0,0.36014719713155624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12475610314341536,0.0,0.12588079973941715,0.0,0.0,0.10358413292158772,0.0,0.0,0.06404611583408316,0.09499384430428937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05693447246606863,0.11680147053573085,0.0,0.10313226754228133,0.0,0.2607519318866169,0.25442950530424946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12386121654092902,0.08566867687052518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11182114237920528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07896901534542873,0.0,0.12400441380998213,0.0,0.1294014127115098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116109786511899,0.1185608177415932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971647610578865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09306722116983447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12747341582073446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548450446703535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06795411634233284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615587283169813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233826068487486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750465090948425
addiction,mewing1,2020/01/30,Meth addict for almost a year So I used meth for the first time in Feb 2019. I was immediately in love with the substance and I do it daily now. How do I stop and get clean??,-1.1449999999999996,0.8856113421052676,1.6582105263157914,96.71047368421057,93.47368421052632,4.092631578947368,12.86315789473684,5.6839178017228535,-1.2521747368421052,133,2,33,1,5,46,29,38,0.055999999999999994,0.76,0.184,0.7236,0,0,2,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,3,0,3,2,0,2,0,7,6,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,4,1,5,5,0,7,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,5,22,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4377497451043226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4020952159809909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3415589849187666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097937684764032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3624153590198304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3357145272641286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23414755521404096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34681104488271963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585856100811217
addiction,tomuchsol,2020/01/30,"Cocaine addiction Been using for about 3 years now, but this last year has gotten to a weekly basis. Last 3 months I've been using everyday minus the odd day or two when I'm broke or something. Been using anywhere from .5 - 1.5 everyday... The highs are getting weaker and the comedowns are getting stronger. I have never really tried to quit because I honestly know I can stop if I really wanted to. I just never actually tried.. been serverally depressed and use to use to have fun but now I can easily say I'm dependent and use to runaway from problems. My biggest problem is the fact that when I'm sober I don't smoke at all but when I'm sking for the night sometimes I will smoke an entire packs. The days that I don't I don't smoke at all not do I have any cravings. I'm hurting my girlfriend who has been very supportive of my habbit but I don't want to hurt her anymore. Also, do want to hurt myself and want to quit before I'm forced to quit from physical stuff or something. Just wondering... What can I expect when I quit? For someone doing such a high dosage for so long? Is it smart to quit cold turkey? I used to pop about 6-8 mg of benzos everyday for 5 -7 months and stopped cold turkey ( stupid I know) so I don't have any doubts I can't do this.. just want to be smart about it. Anything helps dudes and dudettes",3.149797926550693,4.536287191881918,4.334370057986295,86.97209102091023,73.760147601476,7.228325426111404,25.45088736601652,7.793537801064563,1.3152592163064485,1043,34,215,14,21,342,138,271,0.162,0.7070000000000001,0.131,-0.7369,0,0,6,0,0,2,32.0,0,0,0,5,16,14,1,1,9,0,30,1,0,8,5,45,55,21,0,9,12,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,9,6,0,2,3,0,0,0,9,9,0,1,6,3,23,5,28,47,2,29,0,5,0,0,5,5,0,7,24,132,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0847912913693402,0.09472201544288142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06948523405668744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11817522385024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08617070411089674,0.0,0.0,0.07150237956247563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052966828659146536,0.0,0.07393627993668964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11207264684741663,0.0,0.07483751070821801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907920052481416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058239975920781964,0.1836063472615732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790499454475433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09550402574471156,0.14165253323915086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07689417700196366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13870820546003135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13402856157287074,0.0,0.0,0.08153959555183303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662823930086269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4620866132003738,0.0,0.0,0.11132684836428873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06909775168099114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07362090774868743,0.13378304885699702,0.08593560618053955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145286465573311,0.0,0.0,0.09946730615838206,0.0,0.09860079504031193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11798407929766995,0.0,0.08487808895785118,0.0,0.0,0.5253103870778906,0.0,0.07169266109918163,0.2562474044197719,0.0,0.06969724728834481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09422759326788896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11190754729313976
addiction,Mon1kaCHR,2020/01/30,"34 days clean I haven't touched methamphetamine in just over a month. The excitement of sobriety has worn off, and I can feel myself plotting in the back of my mind how to relapse. I find I can get through the day with very minor cravings but it hits the hardest just before bed. Its disheartening to know the feelings of meth addiction will linger until the day I die. The idea of having to battle every day to not relapse seems like a task I may not be able to handle. 

I struggle silently and alone. I refuse to let my family or friends know I succumbed to meth use. I have a million reasons to justify giving up and not fighting back; however something within me doesnt want to let myself fall. 

I thank god for the ability to see another day clean. Goodnight all.",3.9976621923937325,5.8092768590604065,4.616258389261748,84.08174776286356,72.35570469798657,7.382774049217002,29.866331096196863,8.07648339933343,2.1312008948545857,608,26,114,9,12,194,99,149,0.157,0.6859999999999999,0.157,-0.0085,1,1,4,0,2,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,5,8,2,1,11,0,12,1,0,3,1,26,25,7,1,1,7,0,3,1,1,2,1,0,3,0,2,4,0,1,8,0,0,1,5,4,0,1,1,4,16,4,24,18,1,16,0,1,1,0,4,6,0,3,10,80,18,0,0.15898946461795446,0.0,0.0,0.1733219841599592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16466513663044413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16671431619871682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445061689144787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352883242624911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5126752590417051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650059630741644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13395548110000804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498811175418128,0.0,0.16077970081948068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453134903238027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12283486597341245,0.0,0.0830654332147234,0.15251718173853213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794797532895248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747529036406417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3251549988753009,0.0,0.07767422154427428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605340364624728,0.0,0.12690387381008092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16346764928519678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12669401886513407,0.14473803736149748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239785738536077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16621030873239187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14637613811197756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13731585020874534,0.0,0.13118295903353813,0.09377610550665734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,BOSSup516,2020/01/30,"Snow I used to be an athlete. Was a very healthy person. I came into some money, had a nice home drove a Cadillac had Life was good. Now I’m taking trains living in my moms basement. And living check to check.My wife was pregnant a week before her due date she lost the baby. That fucked us up bad. I was self medicating with coke. . My wife had to sit in labor and delivery to push out a baby that wasn’t even alive. The baby looked just like me. We had to name him. And then cremate him. He still sitting in the ziplock bag they handed us him in. Doing coke I was able to function normally. Go through my days. I was happy and had the energy to play with my two beautiful kids. I was able to go to work and just function in general. It numbed me. It’s about to be three years now I’ve quit so many times and broken. I forgot how to deal with my problems sober. I forgot to enjoy the normal things in life. I lost my home I lost my car I lost all the nice things that I had.. it didn’t help that two friends I had were dealers and would spot me the white when I didn’t have it. Today I owed them 300 dollars. They told me they were going to bring me more so I can pay them the previous week and when they showed up I payed them and they didn’t have any. I don’t know how other addicts are but if you say No I can’t do it . I’m fine but when you tell me yes and you tell me your going to bring it and I get my hopes up it’s like sitting on a floor or a collapsing building. They told me they would bring me some as soon as they re up. I said no I told them not to reach out to me. I’m done I’m fed up .i used to be an athlete . I used to laugh at people like me. Now the tables have turned and I see what it’s like and it’s not easy and I hope nothing but the best for all of you. Living in New York doesn’t not help with my stress.  Nothing goes well for me living here and am looking down south we’re it’s more affordable less stressful and I can be away from all the bullshit that is poisoning me. I used to do it every other day. Then I went down to once a week. Before New Years I went a whole month and relapsed. I’ve always acknowledged my problem. I never hid it from my wife. She understood I was in pain she understood it helped me function but it’s now or never .i made it this far . But the thing with coke is.. it will kill you whenever IT feels like it. You could do it every day for ten years and not overdose. Some. Overdose there first time. I’ve been playing Russian roulette for the past 3 years .im done it’s over I need to find another way to deal with my pain with my problems. I could talk about this all day but this is all I feel like writing right now. I feel it in my bones that this time I will stop for good.pray for me. I have a beautiful family that loves me.i love them greatly and half always Been there for them. But this past 3 years even though I was there for them physically I wasn’t there for them. I’m changing my location I’m changing my lifestyle I’m done poisoning my self . It’s time to change my mind and body. I need a cleanse. And I need to connect with god again. I’ve been fighting demons for so long. I forgot who I was. Anyway just felt like letting all of this out. Best of luck to all of you",-0.2684057364178791,1.825103507868384,1.4927382323179472,99.54325892389824,88.31330472103005,4.5542482291775706,17.251142747478973,5.950424286874398,-0.5944715935657214,2508,61,605,20,82,815,278,699,0.126,0.746,0.128,-0.0358,3,0,0,0,2,0,66.0,3,8,16,9,32,44,5,2,26,1,59,19,3,7,9,103,116,44,2,15,17,4,5,7,1,4,9,2,2,4,42,35,4,4,9,3,6,13,16,18,1,6,50,11,112,26,78,55,16,87,1,4,4,3,63,28,1,9,49,409,154,4,0.12029876503822808,0.0,0.0,0.06557170532815232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000982094449461,0.0,0.0,0.04090364272321196,0.06307187209256586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056512324873301926,0.0,0.050222221962073946,0.0,0.0,0.10236538862482032,0.0,0.12624613206361848,0.0,0.0,0.06681240427109071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879486962352759,0.0,0.0,0.1908902135451615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960487750834232,0.0,0.0,0.15516550276226546,0.12402274445336643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846611052098372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794561997430754,0.0,0.10135689798789888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05670348468106427,0.0,0.09124000526517477,0.08594146178013996,0.05775283990113544,0.0,0.05497544592452782,0.0511630340434321,0.0,0.0,0.046471263727272935,0.055607134904683705,0.03142556979202563,0.0,0.13673712091470647,0.10090089657781696,0.0,0.06631490657329732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06403013616482008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12095058962398375,0.0,0.12066946989510274,0.11948381746214612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06497165480650544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06654637988496248,0.0,0.03305652759025585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0615068188711415,0.0849705754036449,0.20570165025320475,0.0,0.21245202700860047,0.05323031073873199,0.10102066461393024,0.0,0.26264062550345185,0.0,0.10857433222436927,0.05691480009081184,0.0,0.06098203305548689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06059417485202308,0.0,0.0,0.06073372968279205,0.07044622983854558,0.04801066326817437,0.0,0.0,0.13380001496359373,0.09278182378110364,0.1161852969029735,0.0,0.0,0.1178672478911838,0.1154299095298147,0.0,0.0,0.06405712931937436,0.0,0.0,0.12800636769425278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11483878331798344,0.04170000832519522,0.05252012074585194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17266450715773565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06397627224291902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051367244020680894,0.057215836845678325,0.047833203198637146,0.0,0.0,0.04793127030092671,0.0,0.12549784812065318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04803537457788936,0.050287577097040376,0.13780182890419007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04522484997135772,0.04834579525074898,0.10514642302611517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11988173110966335,0.0,0.05909646292993381,0.0,0.1402943546216654,0.0,0.05701458154542523,0.1724259379265186,0.0,0.0,0.06542525585080204,0.11751441334812066,0.0,0.14470460234472388,0.20779901662013547,0.0,0.04962953993120423,0.0,0.047743780120371206,0.14474461950602954,0.0,0.05408151853512535,0.11151816041219087,0.0,0.06715463752430467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04378946684960333,0.0,0.0,0.08545679114297082,0.0,0.0,0.19367115133669527
addiction,_crunchwrap_,2020/01/30,"I am the sober friend who struggles with alcoholism. Hello! First time poster, long time lurker. Next month I'll be three months sober. It's almost been three months since I've decided to stop drinking. My best friend is getting married in October. I’m one of her bridesmaids. She's been trying to get the bachelorette party situated and figured out. She's been trying to keep my feelings into consideration. Which is super sweet and I think that's awesome of her. However, I told her that my choices shouldn't be a reflection on what she decides to do with her wedding or what she decides to do with the party. I'm pretty content at this point with my decision in not participating in drinking activities. I told her I would be fine being the sober friend. Which is true. I will be fine. She texted me today asking about if I was okay with receiving a wine glass as a gift and how she wasn't sure if I would be comfortable or not with it. I told her that I absolutely was. I told her I usually put my almond milk in my wine glasses haha. My point of this post is that I'm kind of shocked she would go out of her way that much to make sure that I was comfortable. It made me realize that I do have people supporting me through my addiction struggles. I'm not the only one rooting for myself. IWNDWYT.",2.623307392996111,4.931975112840469,3.938266147859924,85.13698677042802,78.0272373540856,7.069198443579768,25.455097276264592,8.109356740369918,1.6723763112840464,1032,39,202,19,25,338,132,257,0.05,0.741,0.209,0.9921,1,0,5,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,3,2,20,0,2,8,2,27,7,0,4,3,43,45,9,0,6,7,0,1,0,3,5,2,0,0,0,17,12,6,2,10,4,0,3,5,3,0,5,12,2,41,17,30,22,2,27,0,0,0,0,27,11,0,5,11,141,58,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257819857407304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123306870857431,0.1155370969111216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786537231254267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210849184383709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260583056775206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05833994496973564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981427581652438,0.0,0.0,0.2674285106165138,0.0,0.12056329941987427,0.0,0.06557350654161632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10255566098659867,0.0,0.12015123606144372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021082821135544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917600110646286,0.0770175082420871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762873040610617,0.0,0.08481808491803301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12270867552293535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563698867343313,0.08775221595928424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799904444500718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21814409764520334,0.0,0.11050280932117962,0.11738364446034474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11598946440278787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09544410121233303,0.12969273272004547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646342540126288,0.0,0.24124190343500435,0.0,0.0,0.1309326426153156,0.2174898745621561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07393128893630065,0.0,0.0,0.134558819419258,0.0,0.10936740545439863,0.44100478515985664,0.0,0.1566718329468148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270755320140449,0.0,0.0,0.091583823239851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458894007224827,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Tiernan_d,2020/01/30,"Soberiety I’m an addict, I know I am.
My drug of choice is marijuana but recently I’ve found my problem isn’t the drug itself but my burning desire to be anything but sober, I had been taking opioids one night aswell as some alcohol and I awoke to a piece of literature I had written during my high, it reads,

Everyday I lose, I lose the fight just to fight and lose again.

Everyone knows, no one understands.

All I think about is quitting but quitting is harder than letting go and letting go seems inviting.

As I grow I change but change isn’t enough, I know my I could be more, I know my life could be more; but I don’t know life without it anymore.

The days seem hollow, as I feel hollow, constantly trying to fill the void in my soul but in doing so only managing to damage my withering soul, and all for just another day without the struggle.

I run only to find I’ve been fleeing myself. My escape is my prison and I have built it myself.

My brain damaged, my soul broken, I let go once more.",1.8960447761194041,4.101773268656718,3.534475124378112,87.62230970149254,79.99502487562191,6.20905472636816,23.98034825870647,7.365786028017652,1.133170945273632,781,28,156,11,20,259,108,201,0.191,0.757,0.052000000000000005,-0.9856,0,0,4,0,2,0,23.0,0,0,0,5,5,9,2,1,7,0,22,7,1,0,2,35,39,16,0,4,11,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,12,1,0,7,6,9,0,2,6,1,32,0,18,25,8,17,3,5,0,0,2,3,0,3,7,110,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11871916946649914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163830353885624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11419316051113712,0.0,0.0,0.10800144376739952,0.0,0.0,0.08961700272999665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215705609380804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304075871134871,0.0,0.0,0.1176842895248628,0.0,0.1738986465139702,0.0,0.0,0.140465460869134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25258331080896473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11252479670593933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040604533244707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055064083880856526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995343837490262,0.0,0.0,0.11940533642720252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18567441569113044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11506085968375443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29924824139633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3340787806127082,0.15384129618907855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3655001839295353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219707654325848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597699271577787,0.14758952145131365,0.16564963792200027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10420443179225956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316611980192343,0.10893139236916152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10752750991217336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19828043936895756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11384793397742868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818806923043602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06977995432666495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07393725650260967,0.0,0.0,0.11337074139547787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20995513319533068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Princess-Nik,2020/01/31,"Craving Hi guys. I’ve been addicted to tramadol since I was 17. I haven’t had any for about 3 years but I’ve recently run out of weed (what I subsidise my tramadol addiction with) and literally every though is leading to it. I need help but hardly anyone is my life knows about my addiction and those who do don’t understand. I don’t know what to do I feel like I’m about to go get myself some opiates and use and I’m so scared of my own mind right now. 

Sorry for the ramble; I just wrote stuff as they came to my mind. 

Thanks for reading.",1.2283971291866038,3.1616248859649123,2.9430462519936214,92.42117224880384,80.84210526315789,6.250717703349283,21.767145135566192,7.348242739294969,0.6302561403508777,423,13,95,6,11,140,75,114,0.059000000000000004,0.845,0.096,0.6234,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,1,7,3,0,1,1,0,10,4,0,2,0,21,23,9,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,6,7,0,0,4,1,0,4,3,1,0,0,5,2,14,2,16,18,2,9,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,4,59,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5540324459413273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11520184970250012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845257349498167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937552673316129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14273181251027547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856567343283683,0.12102363877716997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850761269587196,0.0,0.0962773007709987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677385164936192,0.0,0.0,0.1517544492680966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11354923196431965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18620215069393534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196564267273772,0.08276318621155912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3421034183255681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12561235942017998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16945178560263688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16726793038937876,0.0,0.0,0.1446717488059814,0.0,0.0,0.1696049009963211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14013434577279393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896360825429976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19392927351492764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559662309404054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16644047784380328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17635755999018246,0.0,0.1463123421732277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10909187242308348
addiction,Davidjohnn24,2020/01/31,"Have a friend/employee who begs for help but never takes it, I dont know how to help her any more. Any advice? I have an employee who I have helped over the last year with multiple issues involving drug abuse and suicidal tendencies. She is an active cutter and has cut herself deep enough that I have had to force her to go get medical care. She has an issue with benzos and this started to become a problem in the workplace. I gave her an ultimatum stating that if I find out shes continuing to use drugs, I will send her for a drug test and will have to let her go. I have been there for this person on an emotional and professional level and have multiple times gave her breaks despite my better judgement as a boss. I helped her get into a facility to help her with her suicidal feelings and it only seemed to help for a few weeks after she returned. Today she was in the parking lot when she wasn't working hours after she had clocked out and was falling over and covered in dirt with her friend claiming she had one drink and was not on benzos, just hasn't eaten in days thus the reason she was continously falling and completely incoherent. As a person who cares about her I worry about what her reaction would be to losing her job because her threats of suicide have felt so legitimate and because I know she doesn't have anything to fall back on. As a boss I feel like because other employees saw this and because I told her if I found out she was using again at work I would send her for a drug test that if I do nothing I will lose the respect of my employees and keep enabling her. This is a terrible explanation and there are alot of conversations and events that have occurred (too many to write) that paint a picture of us being very close on a level where she feels like I'm the only one in her life that is a positive influence and supporting her. I truly care about her and the idea of anything happening to her or her other getting clean truly hurts me. So I'm just curious as to what to do about the situation?",9.321377901036342,6.5434523449131525,9.203184936505624,71.30305794774486,61.531017369727046,12.460020434973,38.594219821923815,10.718039707386858,3.9041322142752897,1617,60,315,30,17,531,192,403,0.13,0.7140000000000001,0.156,0.8774,6,0,5,0,1,1,20.0,1,0,0,6,16,16,2,0,27,0,40,8,0,8,1,61,70,31,3,6,8,0,4,2,1,5,6,0,1,2,19,27,2,1,11,1,0,7,6,7,0,2,17,5,57,9,54,45,5,48,0,3,1,0,56,21,0,7,20,239,76,8,0.0,0.09874831482701338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814422176446352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11335275628069065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371690535455377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06408593936086203,0.0,0.20322148160497505,0.09204625061573556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07371047510033134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549224893020445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738398182722758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05374960592385345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09767785817700904,0.08164481461035353,0.38660759264008665,0.0,0.0,0.09375012080487899,0.0,0.08611602371405437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12642279991854186,0.11908110039845285,0.0800227455306344,0.0,0.07617436869221647,0.0,0.0,0.09138174948426163,0.1287818267673258,0.0,0.13063047872246805,0.0,0.094731963400245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07370030400262062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3351799936359477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207647258689581,0.0,0.0892208463158644,0.09408456757455537,0.0,0.17397773769935926,0.08270547632948692,0.07407945400101923,0.0,0.0,0.0916067192543178,0.06793600449256645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08522428547842564,0.058867916666586084,0.08143476254833679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864799192603548,0.0,0.07085558850999737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449713852156424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08395971943756964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427957730748275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997025161655219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11295130585715965,0.1267728408769705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14554450533958502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974838952860011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08569090838127671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587271214251838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09368148706151427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058990895993286885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.273492496697152,0.09457711629512697,0.0,0.0,0.06266387362273983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04859821377828639,0.0,0.07899980950470052,0.07963820178768091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002518628552829,0.1439638973336638,0.0,0.06876704334394358,0.0,0.0,0.06685305792458401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12134999313026218,0.08463928049086064,0.0,0.1184095373180788,0.0,0.0,0.05367042481918419
addiction,WinterProblem,2020/01/31,"High on Benzedrex, again.... Can't believe I've gone from trying Weed to addiction to a hard (Albeit OTC) drug in like 6 months. 

Can't stop going on random multi-day benders or just using every other day. I'm sure this shit is horrible for you but damn do I love it sometimes.

It's so available as well, which is another killer. Go to any pharmacy or bigger store and there it is, out in the open.",4.579629629629629,4.73077264197531,5.878617283950617,81.76977777777778,69.49382716049382,8.949135802469135,27.31111111111111,8.841846274778883,1.9258622222222213,308,9,63,5,5,104,67,81,0.171,0.679,0.15,-0.4377,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,0,5,6,2,0,2,0,6,4,1,1,1,11,12,6,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,0,0,1,3,2,2,1,0,1,1,2,4,11,11,0,15,0,0,0,1,2,8,2,3,5,36,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550188051943637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15908078100406134,0.24529655560921046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26355959788550903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3017316762145179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27128514469904275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970965593599068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658962202285022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095558046398807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24716044673364626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11428663979718773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2111314349693058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18672111579172426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401263255380197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231363273990192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955763963012375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22047675438611264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588234730530644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20204086760375511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103316387899885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Passwordr1,2020/01/31,"Do other guys do this. Is it weird to save photos of girls you find super attractive to masterbate to? I have lots and some are girls I know/went to hs with a few years back and other, snap premium girls/only fans, and a couple of findoms. I would really like the opinion of others on this as sometimes I feel this is very wrong however I come to wonder if any other guys out there do the same in any aspect. (Im21)",2.539428571428573,4.106030270588239,4.138655462184875,87.01823529411767,75.70588235294117,7.210084033613445,20.378151260504197,7.957251820313856,0.784109243697479,323,7,67,5,7,108,60,85,0.057999999999999996,0.7959999999999999,0.146,0.8271,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,1,2,6,0,0,4,0,8,0,0,0,0,16,11,5,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,4,8,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,6,4,13,10,4,6,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,5,3,49,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3308099263038332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18702910782849747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20952138971239131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691297306223701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12298456163581713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223081124812999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4816725288948571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13367302675205914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11883005178311006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067857261023644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15581957580930605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24056101288613546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20069049299878103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22547695004289234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637729142298097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727838457534593,0.265934179748388,0.0,0.1566323560334475
addiction,pinkpancake525,2020/01/31,"How did your addiction start? Please remove is this if it is not allowed. 

I just got into it with some ignorant people. I know that I can not change their minds in anyway, shape or form. What I am wondering though, is how did your addiction(s) started? Not every situation is a peer pressure situation. 

My father was an alcoholic and then he moved onto harder. He passed when I was 12. When I asked my mom how he got started, my moms answer was we were young and everyone was drinking. No one realized what was happening until it was too late. They divorced when I was 2, he was a functioning alcoholic when need be and a nasty one the rest of the time. When he was sober, he was one of the best men and an awesome cook. 

Anyway, your addiction doesn't have to be drugs or alcohol. Whatever it may be, how did it start? How long did it take you to realize you were addicted? I would just like to further educate myself through real experiences. Thank you!",3.003933227344991,5.190466735135137,4.408712241653422,82.83697933227349,76.24324324324324,8.461049284578698,26.017488076311608,9.168548406835145,2.3318807631160574,746,28,145,19,17,247,111,185,0.053,0.8590000000000001,0.08800000000000001,0.8295,1,0,5,0,1,0,26.0,1,6,2,1,16,5,0,1,8,0,29,9,0,6,0,33,42,20,0,3,8,3,0,1,0,2,7,0,0,1,10,7,5,1,5,2,0,3,5,2,0,3,18,0,21,3,11,19,4,23,0,0,0,0,21,5,0,6,16,114,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3975990582420536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3897751767788588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365477654539267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12758384876524362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286086036200994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190957100836944,0.14098661987585662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10243088586417697,0.11616865366106965,0.0,0.118922174777231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944668083626092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10750701168795564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668135957568033,0.0,0.13714016145219587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05939465303140834,0.0,0.0,0.1075886889207028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12275454077109943,0.28477074067579106,0.0,0.12921335110079402,0.0,0.09014518224500337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471439743014574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428373160755698,0.0,0.0,0.13345115437394253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138377216531527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27330733192387274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34420129093675184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09140811405245926,0.0,0.0,0.11192851067432788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944530997930355,0.0,0.07089046385059991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184123447457569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636229988934285,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Natsfan3754,2020/01/31,"I have recognized that smoking pot everyday is a problem I am a 26/M. I saw my former principal at work the other day and I ran in the back to hide. I have now realized that part of the reason is that I was high like I always am at work. I think I was partly ashamed and I know he would be disappointed. (If he knows who I am)

With school starting I have also been motivated to stop. This is my last semester so I want to do the best I can. The first week just ended and for the first time in a while there are times I regret smoking and wish I was sober.

A couple times I have smoked before class and I cannot retain anything. The worlds just bounce off my brain. I really want to accomplish great things and I don’t want this to be my life forever.",1.518571428571427,3.153480358490569,3.4594115004492387,90.48863207547173,78.74842767295598,7.058580413297397,20.791105121293803,7.957251820313856,0.7291973045822107,583,15,133,10,14,197,94,159,0.09699999999999999,0.745,0.158,0.8584,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,7,7,7,0,1,11,0,22,2,1,2,0,25,32,10,0,8,3,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,8,7,0,2,6,0,0,1,2,4,0,2,6,1,24,3,13,23,3,24,0,2,1,0,3,7,0,1,17,98,32,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13171160377434285,0.13704471057863304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13553517108645444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12664516566963133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14014871130210904,0.0,0.17284389727117158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838611677904704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18223890236672546,0.0,0.1062187402539816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14587650315444115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801897549091839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18158381111472466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17401601066236375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18103110061455505,0.13425357620876682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11633342872428742,0.08046475636510415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3567110069365825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15759694098989646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10551189716970047,0.1693404106510707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16668655119264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657645765324268,0.0,0.0,0.13769769683552616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10942025326720313,0.10553396967051032,0.0,0.0,0.2881160312190727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.291435356509899,0.0,0.13211348200274736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18939841515868566,0.0,0.0,0.23980907726814601,0.0,0.0,0.11699910791719395,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,mewing-boi,2020/01/31,Question about nicotine I got a little disposable vape for the first time ever about 2 weeks ago and I don’t feel anything (it’s 5%). I just enjoy the flavor but don’t feel any sort of rush or energy I expected like from caffeine. Can someone explain?,1.4824666666666673,4.05052938,3.2360000000000007,86.70466666666668,85.2,5.7333333333333325,24.333333333333336,7.1686216300943375,1.3347333333333329,199,8,37,3,6,66,42,50,0.0,0.826,0.174,0.7906,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,1,11,7,3,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,3,4,2,5,6,0,7,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,3,6,22,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902237129676937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226458101440339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694254295653068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2961554799769537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3310903958240517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784895037615425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26185472657769004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599529581491973,0.3281446181748826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3667671842147642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2774081760152706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909117878250079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626235784750931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Kingjoker1357,2020/01/31,"I Think I Need Help I’m A 20 Year Old Guy, I Would Say I’m A Chill And Normal Guy With Too Much Time On My Hand. Through October 28, 2019-January 2, 2020 I Would Pay For Sex With Prostitutes, I Would Say I Did Around 10-13, I’ve Stopped However Because I Don’t Have Much Money Since I’m A College Student. Recently I’ve Gotten Money Again, And Those Urges Have Came Back, Right Now It’s Day 1 And It’s Been Really Hard. I’m Just Seeing If There’s Anyone Else In A Situation Such As Me",-0.8038140161725096,1.314682877358489,1.8345552560646887,95.39528301886793,92.86792452830187,5.670080862533692,17.94878706199461,7.1686216300943375,0.2383013477088953,379,11,90,7,14,130,74,106,0.055999999999999994,0.877,0.066,0.4417,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,4,0,8,2,1,0,0,16,17,5,0,6,2,0,2,0,0,3,0,2,0,2,3,7,0,1,1,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,4,5,9,0,8,10,2,14,0,0,1,1,5,4,0,1,9,45,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12918766808472032,0.18930725262047265,0.0,0.16447452767206666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14206813390968828,0.0,0.11262726640944296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21131487841218669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11915415905796085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15434229268912053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36588057404627206,0.0,0.0,0.1655076191591309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12383994756266654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2716379937554381,0.13699632956307442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18102442299262994,0.0,0.0,0.19387330974122155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11836123595331785,0.0,0.18242705274171728,0.0,0.0,0.1577830292287821,0.0,0.2938552706996795,0.0,0.0,0.14722886475706096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15283441140037454,0.20767666326573325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544666527904913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11838599646418455,0.0,0.0,0.1077343581397475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3937421103207523,0.0,0.0,0.11897862739074246
addiction,T_Sewell_,2020/01/31,"Damn it folks How do you manage it? 
Runs, friends, family, distract yourself, etc. I’ve heard it all. But mentally at what point did y’all call it quits and what did it take? 

I’ve got a need for speed and after a month-ish break of only doing adderall once while drunk, slipped right back. 

Woke up early Tuesday morning excited to take vyvanse and run my day with power and control. Turned into 280mg  and not sleeping until nearly Thursday morning. Got some glimpses through trying to hypnotize myself. 
Buddy left town yesterday morning and his adderall here with me to sell. Ended up taking 6.5 30mg IRs starting at roughly 8am.

24 hours later, out 65$, mouth bleeding from working my tongue, muscles twitching,  gonna be out of pocket until Saturday, shit to do today, nothing to do but sit on the balcony to stay sane.  

The comedown isn’t what’s getting me, it’s the fondness of it. I feel it. This is a critical time to make a decision. If I don’t cut this shit off now, it’s gonna be a long one. 1-3 months solid, worshipping being twacked, going MIA, the whole thing I’m sure y’all know it. 

That need for speed, do a lot don’t get anything done. I’ve been at the helm, wheel in hand, of a sailboat.",2.6658717040535223,4.51938923140496,3.824946871310509,88.16477961432508,76.10743801652895,6.0971271153089335,27.226288862652503,6.868970318607317,1.2812024399842583,942,38,187,9,21,306,163,242,0.10099999999999999,0.813,0.087,-0.3312,1,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,3,0,4,4,10,4,1,12,0,16,8,5,3,2,27,36,13,0,3,4,0,3,0,1,2,2,1,0,0,17,11,1,1,3,1,1,3,4,5,0,1,8,4,11,5,32,23,5,44,1,0,0,0,7,16,3,3,22,109,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203950935056862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11249815409988616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14939195682551198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16409151430419752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09435348081552228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497190010031594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12958123782024522,0.0,0.16316677639719146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13792166580287493,0.0,0.07397530965875138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303351357117868,0.0,0.1528747998081352,0.0,0.08314749789946893,0.0,0.23402411822886374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14407921227561274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08040442975507812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15895888887037987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12947375579445222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12438177538681533,0.0,0.0,0.09765854294702203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14743924624966362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23355568679745645,0.0,0.0,0.21696398439501893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14038189623947095,0.0,0.0,0.1558081664993092,0.09913885587719347,0.11127020006956123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830384294932205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15561149529401386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12494216013149095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3003563289635583,0.0,0.0,0.1464088897305439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10355418012326192,0.15593977828719188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13788906406000848,0.0,0.33000546679723136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09719736595247032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853105907026426,0.0,0.13867835647188848,0.0,0.0,0.09933029044728384,0.15913590360938187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16334233294190045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651049483972744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Charlesfresco,2020/01/31,"Should I go to AA meetings? Hello Reddit. I’m a recovering heroin / poly addict. I’ve got about 6 years clean from my drug of choice with a few hiccups along the way. I go to therapy once a week but it is ungodly expensive ($165 / session- my insurance providers are assholes). Granted, my therapist is REALLY good, but we’ve been toying with the idea of supplementing with some group support and reducing to 2x/ month. She suggested AA rather than NA, saying that AA typically has a crowd with more sobriety under their belt. I consider myself a veteran of therapy but I have never been in a group setting, nor did I accomplish my sobriety through a 12 step model. I don’t know the first thing about AA, what open or closed means, if I can show up to as a heroin addict, what meetings entail, etc. Any advice is appreciated!",3.3033333333333346,5.715717974522296,5.02703184713376,77.66356263269637,76.2611464968153,8.772653927813165,27.66411889596603,9.3871,2.8871285774946918,650,27,117,18,15,220,111,157,0.06,0.8240000000000001,0.11599999999999999,0.8636,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,1,2,3,2,0,0,11,0,12,4,0,0,1,20,19,8,0,3,6,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,1,0,5,8,0,0,3,2,1,3,3,0,4,1,4,1,14,2,21,14,4,15,0,0,0,0,10,5,0,3,5,77,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4099430410648404,0.0,0.18373273178280308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278612749559226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21804560085065208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096940139166838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15993125129890162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21371424951395668,0.15770376941653336,0.15037821359314327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21225373177464668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333186684390848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20481086614753494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15007721093419074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14501400720791469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20023708597825496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12045158286919305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14952248599445034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21336491617733105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43003864060597935,0.21830780740740285,0.12491333259589447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14924295713011576,0.1508197506864784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12107987789575908
addiction,Guillefeldt,2020/01/31,"Maybe you can help me I'm currently developing something to help getting rid of the habit of pornography use, the advice is for free because I want to perfect my method and I would appreciate a constructive feedback or a couple of further recommendations.

If you're interested dm me :)",8.495882352941178,9.206325254901964,9.087058823529414,60.191764705882385,61.15686274509804,12.290196078431373,42.49019607843137,11.855464076750405,5.621125490196079,232,13,36,7,3,78,41,51,0.0,0.632,0.368,0.9643,1,0,2,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,4,0,3,0,0,1,1,7,7,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,4,6,6,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,1,22,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3494133280513921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21797139208858035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.395644474578614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18681560021088486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4793433531144998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.359227189838546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27527490445832625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3088257290960322,0.0,0.0,0.21090408799024032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540075141854933,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,tezchrist,2020/01/31,"Making amends as a recovering addict PLEASE READ ALL, 



I am a recovering pot addict. Some people may not believe pot is an issue, but it caused severe problems in my life. The most recognizable is how it affected the people around me. When I say pot addiction, I mean I was high every second unless I was asleep for a year (started before that but there was a year of constant smoking.) In that time I met a guy and we fell in love. But I hurt him. I would prefer not to say all I did to him, but trust me, it was horrible. We broke up about two months ago, and i’ve been a month sober (which is a lot for me, like i said i didn’t even go a day sober for a year). 

He gave me a lot of chances. Far too many. He even blames himself and ended things off saying he can’t hurt ME anymore. 

I want to write him an apology letter (in person is not an option, and a phone call isn’t either) but I don’t even know where to begin. 

Any recovering addicts, how did you apologize? I know it will be different, but any advice? I’m so lost, but this guy deserves an apology. 

I’m willing to go into more detail if necessary.",1.980116199589883,3.4014255670995723,4.016514012303489,87.92071086807933,76.87878787878788,6.9410799726589225,22.11460469355206,7.669130373188453,0.8072372294372285,850,23,187,12,19,291,133,231,0.14400000000000002,0.758,0.098,-0.9435,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,2,1,0,1,12,8,0,0,17,0,21,7,1,5,2,42,37,18,0,5,13,0,0,1,0,4,5,4,0,3,9,8,0,0,4,1,0,3,7,5,0,2,12,4,27,3,21,20,8,27,0,4,0,1,27,11,0,7,14,130,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4841412175908425,0.0,0.10849383885815056,0.09841831872177374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510036935352849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101084827372226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098837149520589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09447539842063303,0.12508887778961264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11337049929738745,0.0,0.0,0.11405482862429547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199802346114754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07160292600622456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11599909168369882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983365499952133,0.0,0.0,0.21999592524077985,0.0,0.09354463895196306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261978697179966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21986743792809174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11730562333503625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23771239052498586,0.0,0.0,0.11588285034931906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220345531413275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07842132065469784,0.054241953748867484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12119857145673214,0.18878156868336374,0.10020577690323272,0.0,0.07411107003230928,0.112563473783763,0.0,0.12094043828008168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17724063188286798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539436308928856,0.09694408235482484,0.0,0.1218737878552218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10623739349124788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11105657404037354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10561165359860193,0.2648782556664244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12542837496901316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858514845359421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07376109224737498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647404617278699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10845678573957684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06548632321653414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07887006047103906,0.0,0.0,0.21449233297607614
addiction,Sh1tCouldBeW0rse,2020/01/31,"My friend is an addict and wants to smoke weed with me and is putting the decision on me whether or not to let her I am not an addict but I have bipolar disorder and have been in and out of treatment centers that also function as rehabs for over a decade so I’m familiar with AA, NA, and just the journey of sobriety in general. I smoke weed when I’m in depressive episodes and my best friend wants to smoke with me. I’ve known some people who smoke while sober and some people who say that’s not sobriety. She says it’s not a big deal and it won’t effect her sobriety and she clearly doesn’t want to do it bad enough to go out and get her own weed. So she’s basically put the decision squarely on my shoulders and I feel like it’s wrong to tell her what she can and cannot do but I also don’t want to be the one who enables her back down a path to relapse cause she has a lot of other issues too. I feel like this really isn’t that big of a deal but my episodes last months so it comes up a lot more than you would think. If it’s relevant she just celebrated 2 years sober last week and she had more time before that but she relapsed so it’s not like she’s new to sobriety.",1.8072647169103853,3.2121448070866165,3.342890888638923,92.63864829396326,77.30708661417323,7.042819647544057,23.11886014248219,7.793537801064563,0.8370875890513685,927,28,218,14,21,306,126,254,0.061,0.8109999999999999,0.128,0.9485,0,0,4,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,3,11,9,0,0,12,0,19,5,1,2,1,52,31,29,0,6,14,0,2,3,2,2,4,2,0,0,17,19,0,0,7,0,0,5,10,3,1,1,2,5,28,6,29,25,9,28,0,1,1,0,25,13,0,6,13,152,45,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29070585823596296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21325311234912225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10252504323495333,0.11132769892850007,0.0,0.0,0.11345677989047198,0.0,0.13992502553829447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13696998163541052,0.0,0.11485479339723055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749214633557505,0.11483973750428984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15281146214444702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377688950580896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13483460029661448,0.19050660860365326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20602588475530384,0.0,0.06966112282139107,0.0,0.07577636171214182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13916527757443992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21736879781351998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13634228725497555,0.0,0.1954196810024901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267103314042093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10642533238997684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128774088921239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090350064553489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848729821491782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680734971464469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.085416697604901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120639126044649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165391421241756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543456630196394,0.0,0.0,0.0777476934636805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3145736343311136,0.0,0.1069518949470638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09471611912098182,0.1457789837791281,0.0,0.08586224497765023
addiction,tangles213,2020/01/31,Crisis chat made me feel like shit I was feeling really bad last night and almost texted my old dealer but decided to to an online addiction chat instead. When I said I was spiraling because of not being able to find a job and it was making me want to get drunk and high the other person said maybe that's why you cant get a job. It just makes me feel like such shit. I've been sober from drugs and only casually drinking for a year now but that just made me fee like such shit. I got too drunk today and I talked to my dealer not sure if I'll get anything but damn. It was an addiction hotline. I get that me being low and not doing well is part of the problem but all I needed was someone to say it's ok.,1.2432544938505217,3.028437947019871,3.1515279091769166,91.67822847682122,80.12582781456953,5.903689687795647,19.394985808893093,6.868970318607317,0.15022573320719035,554,13,123,6,14,186,90,151,0.221,0.6859999999999999,0.09300000000000001,-0.9746,2,0,2,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,9,14,4,0,7,1,11,9,3,4,2,31,27,12,0,4,10,0,3,3,0,0,3,3,0,1,8,6,3,0,5,6,1,0,4,7,1,0,11,6,15,7,10,14,2,9,0,1,0,0,8,2,4,2,10,76,23,2,0.12816896509909334,0.0,0.0,0.2794461808156157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283427045780917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054721375729763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10701573223649423,0.07813061150308304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12555679136248568,0.14863530856161872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19441823940182865,0.18312786855232485,0.0,0.0,0.11714411212399067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2678519771412997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025084298475312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13541754859167807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543758421302005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10447481303965596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18785064684876765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425531475453817,0.17110755890393897,0.0,0.12876295252183287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09503566359791787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12027789134169085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13449176853091288,0.0,0.0,0.09747827347262353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13879449922784742,0.0,0.0,0.11191219661708368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12264039000300354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210832099639839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438360724138379,0.10192510537237458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3946908025101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859714820444934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079773278849835,0.0,0.0,0.10301735919254168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12148919251021185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559737635882541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523929209799888,0.0,0.11565255559468067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253661133923056
addiction,mahboilo,2020/01/31,"I have an addiction to internet. Wether you believe this addiction exists or not I know I have a problem. I am currently living with my parents, who do NOT have internet. So I have to use my mobile data. I am severly in debt because I have used 22 Gb out of 1Gb. I know I should stop but I literally cannot atop browsing Reddit and other sites. How can I discipline myself and prevent myself from getting in debt again?",1.907617135207495,4.368657566265064,4.3560642570281125,80.25757697456493,81.77108433734941,7.544310575635875,27.29451137884873,8.515128840125781,2.512136278447122,330,15,60,8,9,115,56,83,0.08900000000000001,0.8740000000000001,0.037000000000000005,-0.5888,4,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,11,2,0,3,0,18,16,6,0,2,4,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,4,0,3,2,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,16,0,9,15,0,8,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,3,50,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5491564046363159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15353913794721022,0.0,0.0,0.2837740555483517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13159298537586697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768450774671594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22240803164617812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2796746036815351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410079659728222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28454423186736666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21057668775182664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.435073940364192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,asutoriddo,2020/02/01,"Clean but missing it I've been clean since August 2016. I married my husband July 2918. He went to his birth country, America, to do a PhD but my friends still do drugs, around me. I dint want to cut my friends out and I have been able to say no to drugs but what coping strategies can I employ to not miss it?",0.6036263736263763,2.723092615384616,1.828351648351649,98.49307692307691,84.38461538461539,4.32967032967033,21.59340659340659,5.288315135182226,-0.1953516483516484,240,8,55,1,7,76,46,65,0.11,0.6659999999999999,0.22399999999999998,0.8208,1,0,2,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,1,0,6,2,0,0,0,8,10,4,0,1,4,1,0,0,2,0,2,1,2,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,3,1,9,2,8,7,0,6,0,2,0,0,6,2,0,0,3,34,12,2,0.2803723084423537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.249590796894951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6502857309527792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4332299000179609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229633129938174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319268708310069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22390568769373895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16537085171532862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599079388560213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,california69,2020/02/01,"Missing Heroin If you would have asked me a couple years ago if I rather have a perfect relationship with a girl or be high forever I would have told you drugs any day. Today I've been off heroin for about 7 months (still on subs) and I have a near perfect relationship with a perfect girl, I'm back in college and doing decent, and I'm just generally in a much better place than I have been in a long time. No I'm not totally sober; I still drink a couple times a week and smoke a couple times a month, as well as taking my prescribed medications. I really haven't felt the true urge to use in months, and I still don't today but what I think I really miss is the chaos. I mean don't get me wrong, I definitely don't miss being homeless shelters in Denver, or overdosing 5 states away from home or the countless treatment centers and half way houses in south florida. I just really miss the risks or some shit and some days I get the urge to just say fuck and take a greyhound across the country and start over like I've done 3 or 4 times. Idk dude.",5.625,5.094887055555559,6.289259259259263,82.0316666666667,67.33333333333333,9.422222222222222,28.185185185185183,8.841846274778883,1.8510351851851847,828,22,177,12,12,272,123,216,0.166,0.737,0.09699999999999999,-0.9293,0,0,3,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,0,4,10,15,2,1,18,0,18,5,1,1,5,38,37,19,0,5,13,0,1,1,0,2,2,1,1,2,1,11,1,0,3,1,0,0,6,8,1,1,5,2,18,7,22,28,4,38,0,4,0,1,9,16,2,9,21,110,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10401329522122976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07979404626685041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10969544152656463,0.0,0.11024316577624946,0.09022588560180067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10377616307702063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3894976867896521,0.0,0.15134695203326226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12007778763136713,0.0,0.11494683196471593,0.13607513900168733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11266313883819627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10847733844578476,0.12260880464438613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12397432296674785,0.11769985046273218,0.0,0.0,0.13539260768804515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05732555099428915,0.0,0.0,0.10384067518453216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12781577326648666,0.0,0.11820596088133148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28097485928427274,0.0,0.08625712844676647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225935163838736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22550969821847275,0.0,0.0,0.251954775452091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331210070827636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204460463981526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08305263036666258,0.0,0.28111947833965034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17644754993804207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751856245301486,0.0,0.0,0.2736835518394149,0.0,0.22244591703022448,0.11212174395334892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013425898189238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09313765587232956,0.09412168123914252,0.0,0.10550119512276178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16670747865713145,0.12829097651253826,0.0,0.07556199781465793
addiction,iosynHim717,2020/02/01,Recovery? So my sister started doing drugs like weed and alcohol at age 13 ish and started dabbling with heroin and crystal meth around the same time but she didn’t get bad on those drugs until about age 16 and from that point she was really lost and went to rehab once when she was 17 and even went out of the state with some family to try to escape for a while but every time she came back she ended doing the same thing. She had two babies and for the first one she stayed clean most the pregnancy but for the second the baby was affected from her drug use. After that she was really lost to drugs until she was like 25 or 26 and ever since she’s been clean but she isn’t at all who she used to be. She lives with my grandparents and now she just sits around and stares a lot at people. She occasionally laughs to herself and mostly just spends her time sitting around in her grandmas room or like in the kitchen. She can still speak and hold a conversation but seems to take a while to focus on what you’re saying. She prefers not to talk about old things because she gets angry and hurt. I feel as if she is just living in a state of complete denial of everything she’s done and just refuses to face reality and it’s gotten to a pretty bad point where she’s dissociated from being “normal”. If anyone has any insight into her state of being and if she can get better and back to being completely herself again please let me know anything. My family and I feel as if she’s gone now but I still have hope that she could be herself again,6.2693096273879325,5.742069681672027,6.455959901645546,81.36036126347649,66.00964630225081,9.375524872328352,26.975789672782287,8.671277953709913,1.6661558918100998,1225,27,251,16,17,393,166,311,0.086,0.807,0.107,0.7413,1,0,6,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,4,22,11,0,0,14,0,24,8,1,3,2,66,44,38,0,8,17,1,2,3,0,0,6,2,4,0,9,27,2,2,6,0,1,4,3,5,0,4,16,5,38,6,45,21,7,52,0,3,1,0,38,17,0,12,28,191,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10480935536350064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666924585452842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06857436202454352,0.0,0.0807050637095095,0.2619151496024432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508229352121351,0.1637723798304614,0.059783902404143885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08673689050505193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11216846923737908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20565367007408192,0.0,0.0,0.07830267091274748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003619097975402,0.0,0.0,0.4549304611807363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686285918575305,0.0,0.0,0.06477576267949031,0.08871191898263976,0.08263005770755638,0.0,0.08814096897549323,0.0,0.18490748254648745,0.0,0.0991765013855528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342016260219813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15371602901962972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09740782253611403,0.0,0.0,0.10498831770021258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05389791591136467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10028546835238432,0.0,0.143739368241331,0.0,0.17319909744972556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21411478125830133,0.08337747672766026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09608993258892123,0.0,0.0,0.10291027561835388,0.10444369149640408,0.06645626035648118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06799091453504913,0.0,0.0,0.10765382427406472,0.1854198561001635,0.0,0.0,0.09977468425366062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12565512427412912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779909491924772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928124688477769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08112633668953803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13883201484185334,0.1045319155046814,0.15664117005036868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373808861820189,0.07882671886750202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13030962281233072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715600642170892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658458567876366,0.0,0.09580228824272186,0.0,0.0,0.16940578367883025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818278225405048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Energace,2020/02/01,"Question about my ketamine addiction I keep going back to it. I hate how I'm doing it, I'm literally wasting my money just to sit there in a k hole, and yet I do it every time. If I don't, I'll be up at night just fully craving it. Should I (temporarily) substitute with valium?",1.6335593220338964,3.1183750677966136,5.0120000000000005,80.14613559322035,77.98305084745763,8.109830508474579,25.359322033898305,8.841846274778883,2.0023667796610174,215,8,45,5,5,80,44,59,0.122,0.878,0.0,-0.7506,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,7,1,1,0,1,0,5,1,0,1,0,9,10,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,7,0,7,8,0,9,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,4,32,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4104878986503099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895386409611874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3172540645431678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21399829831661016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37175866303247856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3346890854454879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35336048413213444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4218147971143933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21956549144537693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,AspirineOverdose,2020/02/01,"It's winter. It's damn cold. And it's also Saturday evening. Yet here I am at a secluded park  alone with my phone, laptop, a battery bank and a 12 pack- two already down.

""Funny"" thing is that I could have stayed home but I decided to lie and say that I was going out for dinner with a friend. Lies. I just went to the closest store to buy booze and looked for a quiet and empty park so i could get wasted. On my own. And I suppose that addiction is like this.... I am not enjoying this evening in the least but here I am, regardless, almost freezing. 

*Suffering so I can drink so I can suffer because I drank.*



Just another rant I guess, but I'm positive someone out there will relate. And I'm trying to quit, I am. But I'm afraid I can't do it alone, like this. 

Thanks for your time.",-0.5202027207255249,1.7039997484662628,1.7248332888770364,95.31903974393171,94.4601226993865,5.043371565750867,18.129901307015203,6.7026698264267655,0.12239311816484345,601,18,134,9,23,201,99,163,0.174,0.711,0.115,-0.7898,0,2,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,0,1,12,9,1,1,7,0,15,5,0,0,0,24,25,15,0,3,7,0,1,2,1,1,1,2,1,0,11,11,4,0,1,1,3,2,2,4,0,1,3,5,18,5,15,19,2,14,0,2,1,0,4,7,1,2,6,93,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072864941536804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190403098045901,0.3938664682024439,0.2098301180872476,0.15205916487011464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19938397484630016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11591083833951815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30363117376863824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18627005044586664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511784160727844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14690582300261998,0.0,0.09934309556799124,0.0,0.10806398229705784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20946653630666184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907312860078985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18579082334032607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15967420170103427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20224298141842725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15121121138402294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611095350144791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026696396878812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17506028819162514,0.0,0.0,0.12632411917323005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11087528063187577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12909620878111178,0.0,0.18574437429645524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17626664115738774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,mahboahlenah,2020/02/01,"I never realized how dependent I had become on alcohol I’ve always been a pretty heavy drinker compared to people around me. When I first started college I would have a drink of some sort just about everyday. It just mellowed me out and made me feel good. Overtime I’ve reduced that number and for the most part, I only drink socially with friends or when im on my own time. I’ve become much more responsible with it. 

Last night was when the realization hit me that I might have a problem. The coin fell the wrong way and I was designated driver for my group of friends. I was fine with this, as I wanted them to enjoy their time. 

When we got to the club, however, I couldn’t bring myself to have a good time. Completely sober, I danced to a few songs, socialized within my group, but that was pretty much the extent of my night. Usually I am the fun one, the one who doesn’t care if people make fun of their dancing, doesn’t care about how many strangers they meet. I felt so different this time, like I couldn’t bring myself to have as much fun as I usually would. 

I’ve always known that I drink too much, but never considered myself dependent on it until now. I guess the first part of addiction is recognizing it, and yesterday certainly helped with that.",5.2813006072874495,5.992455578947368,5.718074392712553,81.56269863360325,68.10931174089069,9.413866396761136,28.392965587044536,9.516144504307137,2.3319799595141686,996,32,198,20,16,320,129,247,0.016,0.7879999999999999,0.19699999999999998,0.9919,3,0,5,0,1,0,26.0,1,0,4,2,14,15,0,0,14,0,19,5,0,6,3,41,32,19,0,7,6,0,2,1,2,3,2,1,0,0,12,11,4,0,4,7,1,5,6,2,0,4,9,3,33,13,29,17,12,34,0,0,0,0,14,6,0,9,23,143,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11448566898178908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223284095118853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747676137875856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09348873239444487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23196937013884905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21414672472461574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11010990175639664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10972198300960642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3086344543135979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053100510290784345,0.0,0.10083423145075557,0.0,0.0,0.17865736906755614,0.0,0.0,0.16227406896376065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17616907456902936,0.08399289003066313,0.0,0.1156897203374338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039168849605701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11343800390963912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08560409612815127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051306735606770765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993710462577196,0.07010066586626139,0.1064722781768122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11140803516129534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3088027315329873,0.0,0.16199348654685095,0.0,0.0,0.19710550079849834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423265103183173,0.07987130342687772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274496083462605,0.0,0.14561321307001218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136831436460833,0.0,0.10048852378444663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141062759083067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07433263656015655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24494853325606356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313260870890144,0.0,0.0619426336795695,0.08335879903451887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14920426202244275,0.11482124634648455,0.0,0.0
addiction,ittybittytinylady,2020/02/01,"Why arent there any internet and TV addiction groups anywhere? I’ve researched the entire Internet (obviously) looking for Internet and TV addiction groups and it doesn’t seem to be a thing. I feel like TV and Internet addiction can be very damaging to someone’s life especially if they’re giving up on time with friends and family, their job etc. I’m just wondering why there aren’t groups for this addiction.",8.831184210526313,8.559735013157894,8.898947368421053,65.10263157894738,60.71052631578947,14.442105263157895,41.368421052631575,13.427899808715575,6.060352631578947,335,17,57,13,4,110,53,76,0.048,0.8420000000000001,0.11,0.5677,3,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,6,5,0,0,1,12,12,6,0,1,2,0,1,1,1,0,5,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,2,2,7,10,1,3,0,1,1,0,6,2,0,3,2,30,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7504640951822438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11703491266664455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19193865080664485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162241965158199,0.0,0.08701968282036185,0.12294933659019396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13296518182092404,0.0,0.0,0.16509542823996176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17078416999946575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12156036980487325,0.08408009329100948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14452190408347718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566747299446788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14582103131407315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11433658061285322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10035376098332338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14200175057362546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105896464090309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18663672112643254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ComittingNotAlive,2020/02/01,"Long post - but I really need your help As the title says, I am addicted to love. And no, I don't mean loving a person compassionately, for who they are, or loving a hobby or an activity because you simply enjoy it - I mean the feeling of being addicted to it. I have a long history of obsessive behaviors but it all started 5 years ago when I fell in love for the first time. It drove me crazy. I couldn't focus on anything and my life slowly became a blur because the only thing that I cared about was my crush. It was a happy occurrence because the feeling was mutual and we soon got together but the obsession grew even stronger. I would refuse to study (I was in college at the time), do chores and have a normal routine because of being in love. All I wanted was to spend time with him, my mind was constantly obsessed with him and ruminating about him. But one year later, I crashed down because one day I woke up simply not feeling in love anymore. I was craving that soul-consuming feeling, I was craving it like it was some sort of drug. I was ruined. I desperately tried to trick my mind into falling back in love but nothing did the trick. I realized that life without infatuation was awful and I tried to kill myself. Twice. I failed, as you can see. That is when I became addicted to the feeling of infatuation.

 

Approximately a year later, I found a band. I'd liked that band ever since I was a kid but never overplayed it - I knew and liked a few songs but that was all. But now, it felt like I resonated with this band more than I've ever resonated with anything in my life, so I started to listen to this band obsessively. I would spend my entire day listening to the music, not doing the stuff I so desperately NEEDED to so because I was too busy obsessing over my new favorite band. This time I almost lost my job because of it. I would show up late to work because I was too busy watching some interview i'd found or watching a live performance. I started collecting records, bootlegs, interviews, performances, and anything I could get my hands on. In addition, I started to have a crush on the lead singer too - who has been dead for many, many years. I drove my best friend crazy talking to him about it, and he told me one day ""you're legit obsessed, this is not normal"". This obsession was probably even stronger than my first love, mainly because it was intangible and people crave what the can't have. The band doesn't exist anymore and the leader/guitarist/vocalist is dead and has been dead for a long time. I didn't care, I continued doing my thing, ignoring everything that didn't have anything to do with my obsession for this band. This obsession faded too eventually, leaving me heartbroken and destroyed. I looked everywhere to find out what was happening to me and why I was no longer infatuated. Suicidal thoughts again. Pain. Tears. Existential crisis. I would obsessively listen to the songs and try to find that lost feeling again, but it was all in vain. This was so painful I tried to kill myself again. And yes, I am REALLY bad at killing myself and I'm too much of a pussy to actually try a more promising method (I've only tried to OD). I also couldn't tell anyone, not even to my therapist, that I tried killing myself because I no longer resonated with a band. It seemed so superficial that I was scared people would laugh at me.

 

Fast forward a few months later, I am in withdrawals. I constantly crave that connection with something that I resonate with. But now it's gotten even worse - as a replacement for the infatuation that I can no longer feel, now I've started gambling. I've gambled all my savings. Gambled away my monthly wage. Gambled away everything I've had.



 I feel empty and I feel like I can't fill that emptiness with anything. Believe me when I say this - therapy doesn't work for me. I know everyone will recommend me therapy but i'm at this point where i've tried most therapists in my area and i still don't see any results. I've tried counseling, systematic therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Meds aren't working either. I am on Cymbalta (120mg/day, which is a substantial dose), Abilify and I also take CBD, B vitamin complex and GABA supplements. I've tried countless other meds in the past and nothing has curbed the withdrawals and the obsessive behaviors. I am really sorry for this absolute block of text but I don't know what to do and where to go anymore. At this point I just want someone to tell me ""hey i've been in the same boat and it gets better"" but I honestly have no idea if anyone can relate. I just felt like opening up and maybe someone can give me some insight on what to do because I feel like an absolute failure and life has become unbearable. Has anyone ever been in the same boat?",4.6858949275362365,6.2600999445652175,5.629782608695653,78.44797101449277,70.20652173913044,9.02898550724638,30.833333333333336,9.469692655059248,2.9238115942028986,3799,161,700,85,69,1249,348,920,0.198,0.6629999999999999,0.139,-0.9961,2,0,3,0,0,4,119.0,1,3,1,13,38,55,7,12,43,2,80,21,1,2,9,135,142,58,9,15,25,0,13,7,1,6,12,7,1,2,53,42,0,4,27,11,7,9,23,28,0,6,44,25,105,27,93,87,19,100,0,4,5,8,47,39,0,12,60,489,158,10,0.0,0.0,0.04355158389061812,0.14595698692262446,0.0,0.0,0.039561022656714816,0.0,0.044689617631188575,0.0,0.0,0.07137978326093293,0.0,0.09671126707750503,0.0,0.030349332414857582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13278028633809758,0.09361715643485533,0.0,0.18362981808648252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08386105583417758,0.034317038960481404,0.03726345155256272,0.2992604746273772,0.04928935738555342,0.0,0.0502817360894733,0.04683550868581296,0.03947083043552098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09100472568063063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09645644919501004,0.0,0.03563272130519185,0.0,0.0,0.11512836288241247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0517556111034795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179084530315181,0.12110878398054305,0.0,0.04264503728503614,0.08021955181000125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256582433716231,0.06376610536704375,0.08570190913910734,0.0,0.08158041543188534,0.07592301438989614,0.0,0.09786705441485707,0.034480347878580585,0.0,0.04663374704293819,0.04281231914189218,0.025363757723074573,0.0,0.03569398470228033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03946538396848172,0.04750852876807357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029913958805664213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05038084489727972,0.0,0.0,0.04428751582250348,0.0,0.19750203841752376,0.0,0.049053995073561805,0.0,0.05034359195956371,0.047255794793266304,0.0,0.0,0.12609147091652675,0.15262473819419914,0.0,0.03940833114501157,0.11848610203896405,0.037477221183997024,0.0,0.09743591424104417,0.0,0.32223619032625994,0.0,0.0,0.09049384696901508,0.044835950217663414,0.0972283916460121,0.09914578417283597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09012537897467823,0.0,0.07124507657391345,0.0,0.032807538743270116,0.0661838548825814,0.0344207291150564,0.04310308279005982,0.0,0.0,0.0874541250831916,0.08564568976516312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09072554141504732,0.06788491458335062,0.0949770618392078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042603545515732984,0.061880425805963514,0.03896842669417766,0.0,0.0,0.08437788877250545,0.0,0.04274236091923385,0.0,0.048117740339710335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577167237663873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07098173598700319,0.044681535347037483,0.0,0.07112726195428624,0.040628675253878206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03691766975599887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562821813750062,0.034357677429742314,0.0,0.04995864668676325,0.1579436063748838,0.0,0.03564087337163418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0510896656787677,0.048817014351655086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033555544538675236,0.035871196627995754,0.0780156370484311,0.0,0.2041491555513352,0.10363569764262047,0.059299209323657134,0.0,0.0,0.035430536645879585,0.13011799563772716,0.0,0.0,0.04264503728503614,0.0,0.3030024336407154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0526468232768357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04027083973792404,0.0,0.0,0.043020879677419695,0.0,0.0974715940104153,0.0,0.04548088667748025,0.15851623405861665,0.0,0.0,0.1149587618072956
addiction,Hippygma,2020/02/01,Heartbroken. My son 24 was just busted with 28g of meth among other things and was on national tv. Live pd. I have stage 4 cancer and am afraid I will never get to hug him goodbye. This is what addiction and mental illness does to the family that loves them. Please quit and get help.,1.7468421052631555,4.088373070175443,3.0202631578947354,90.32934210526315,81.45614035087719,6.60701754385965,18.271929824561404,7.793537801064563,0.5700666666666665,223,5,46,4,6,72,50,57,0.203,0.67,0.127,-0.7394,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,1,1,3,0,1,1,0,6,5,0,0,1,7,9,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,5,2,6,6,0,5,0,0,0,2,5,3,0,0,1,29,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3385877572480913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27179844872715475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927955832509083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3245397734549097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081811998720764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742556983521413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803186180577731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31300057063873354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395453150883967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3409333557887903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.330349537615627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20634147136230652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,time2quit2020,2020/02/01,"Time for me to quit cocaine and drinking I'm just waking up after a 3 day binge with no food and just beer and cocaine in my system. I have a problem and need to quit, I've tried many time and haven't been successful but this is the worst its got. I usually have a gram a day but this binge put me at 9 grams, my nose is still bleeding and my bones are sore I cant even get out of bed. If anyone has any advice I'd appreciate it",2.9078125000000017,2.7457241562499988,4.539583333333333,91.01375,73.0625,7.65,24.333333333333336,7.1686216300943375,0.6585333333333336,333,8,83,3,6,113,68,96,0.153,0.809,0.038,-0.8701,0,0,4,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,3,4,3,0,0,5,0,9,8,3,0,0,15,13,9,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,4,8,3,0,0,2,0,1,3,2,0,0,2,1,8,1,10,11,1,13,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,7,51,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239383774207868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15584074851959698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16023820594201715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29558624226356217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2244954501170547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15136199147682106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771084547773762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11972978426845465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832849967707112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23233837000587865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16992369624190742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192809266427431,0.0,0.2303751409787665,0.0,0.4874925307408961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830122754663468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672570922993492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15558868121498412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25239398900081234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,pettyspeghetti,2020/02/01,hey here's to all drug addicts who chose not to get high today. you're fucking badass.,1.125,3.451149277777777,1.6866666666666674,99.00000000000004,84.0,3.6,20.11111111111111,3.1291,-0.6540888888888885,69,2,15,0,2,21,17,18,0.11199999999999999,0.888,0.0,-0.2247,0,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,2,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,1,6,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4575886305974137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4867758586259733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3880514100577359,0.2193016541953898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4434881195231709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3978732009926033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,lonice47,2020/02/01,"Addictive personality I am always addicted to something. I’m always trying to fill the hole I have with sex, nicotine, alcohol, hobbies, whatever it may be. I become obsessed with people and things and I never take it to the full extreme, but I see myself becoming obsessive about things. I’m always trying to mask the feelings of anxiety and depression. I’m trying to feel calm and at peace and in the process I’m engaging in self damaging behaviors. Does anyone else feel like this or can give me advice? I find myself not being able to think clearly or understand why I do this.",4.718674821610605,6.839977605504592,6.237920489296638,71.91102956167177,71.11009174311927,9.615086646279307,31.37716615698267,9.994966539143718,3.706583282364933,465,21,75,13,9,158,72,109,0.126,0.728,0.146,0.5187,0,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,2,4,0,7,4,0,0,2,20,19,8,0,0,4,0,3,1,0,1,3,0,0,2,6,7,1,0,6,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,4,10,3,13,16,1,6,0,2,1,1,3,4,0,3,2,51,16,0,0.156101930902323,0.0,0.0,0.3403482923878729,0.0,0.15254100022189493,0.0,0.1668254905059464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3896679347270725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11941754987050306,0.0,0.0,0.10915009963758183,0.159944875482162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3448046367515489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13445036434777075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13660585168497175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304031327066182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367894798073097,0.11151925062726016,0.0,0.0,0.1426743368197995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497471962835753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07626351842577851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203954324906566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10822142382155577,0.13630218493174645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243930283440262,0.0,0.1628483584972385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201748928589341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11736922491354597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20741437315320446,0.10002381420249888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31794889284845096,0.0,0.0,0.16250761529959284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14085771253719534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Morbbid69,2020/02/01,"Tapering off clonazolam with diclazepam So, ive been taking clonazolam for awhile now. I've struggled with addiction my whole life and im only 21. I'm going into detox tomorrow and told them I was taking clonazolam, but I ran out tonight and took diclazepam so the withdrawal symptoms wouldn't be so bad in detox. Should I tell the nurses that I took this? They are already confused because of the clonazolam and had to do research on it before they could accept me in. Diclazepam is basically valium, so I was thinking of just telling them that I took valium tonight, and will be tomorrow. Is this a good idea? Any advice?",4.016386946386945,6.545054290598293,5.199207459207461,76.73139860139864,74.4700854700855,8.357109557109558,30.2944832944833,9.095868883498916,3.0340837606837616,500,23,86,12,11,165,77,117,0.095,0.825,0.079,-0.4398,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,4,0,6,5,0,2,4,0,15,5,0,0,0,18,25,10,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,5,9,0,0,3,0,0,5,1,3,0,0,9,0,13,2,12,10,1,16,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,1,5,61,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928065668317817,0.0,0.1728282892064692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19517250678336706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202727744369084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476730572540691,0.10781392627667903,0.0,0.15049722318781172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14121056086276587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10051520968567758,0.14834413229043394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19965658260426766,0.191042182629398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12492343186218798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13451213535351228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18489540812761104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18382817724409714,0.2659576417853577,0.0,0.3091717797615912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332654606549734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16899999249162292,0.5895032624968403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19746100918218668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,UnusualAddiction,2020/02/01,"I Have An Unusual Addiction? I searched this whole subreddit and I haven't seen anyone with a hobby like mine.

I actually can't stop burning things. At my worst not long ago I was burning things 6 or 7 times every day, not even because I wanted to, but I had to. I have been in trouble with the law because of it but that was just because I was careless and I didn't be more careful about watching around me to see that nobody was watching me. I did not burn anything big down so I don't see the problem. I have to go to a special group at a couple seeing center every day but I don't care about that. They put me on medication but it does nothing to make me not want to set fires. I have to take it (I have no choice) but I hate it and it doesn't work. I just like the colors, the heat, the sound of a roaring fire, but I don't think I have a problem, though I am told I do.

I am so confused. I been this way since I was little (I think) so it's not like it's something that is new...help? Please help me convince my fam that I am normal and just like a natural thing?

Sincerely,
A Confused Girl",0.5446720707442871,2.3436316101694916,2.6117391304347852,94.61343773028742,82.47457627118644,5.290788504053059,22.125276344878408,6.280692351149826,0.22375298452468728,844,28,197,7,23,284,117,236,0.141,0.696,0.163,0.6375,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,1,1,11,17,1,2,13,0,28,2,0,1,0,34,43,15,0,5,15,0,2,4,0,0,2,1,0,1,17,7,0,1,2,0,0,2,13,8,0,0,12,10,36,9,20,30,3,19,0,0,7,0,5,9,0,3,10,142,53,1,0.0,0.0,0.12807253335956073,0.14307234017525328,0.0,0.0,0.11633745414783665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09176693719217456,0.0,0.1080003706030877,0.11683254194740188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24001035321599926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26761841302678785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14521595270169174,0.0,0.16927950465500413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11485010690124955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08668361133650024,0.0,0.2211528358986745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07458742982277748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12957356861277589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17593649391384195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564713922816429,0.13153821608997635,0.0,0.11614438098770273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760455699415858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13221175739874122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12675362215056046,0.0,0.0,0.12858856500235186,0.12592952402259652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14406348727122925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511603135390562,0.0,0.13193371061884407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31374686574982064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10856412256457444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103593017028266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10972356599559203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09867709078322376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26157257506548515,0.1681881941678419,0.12894386694920476,0.0,0.07652783135899617,0.0,0.0,0.12540664362574544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15481898539745031,0.1041731996514284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465261746074811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09554519690842332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,GigaSlap,2020/02/01,"Can a Relationship Survive Addiction? Moved in with my BF about 4 weeks ago. I found out about half way through our relationship that he had an addiction to pain killers BUT was getting treatment for it. I accepted that since he was getting help and it hasn't interfered with his job or making payments. 

Shortly after moving in with him I found out that although he is still in treatment for the opiates, he is taking Ritalin recreationally and I am starting to suspect Cocaine. He is not being upfront about any of this, I am pretty much discovering this by myself and having to heavily question him until he finally admits he's fallen off the wagon and struggling. All the research I do pretty much tells me our relationship has no chance in hell, which breaks my heart since I love him and we had dreamed of a big future together.

Does anyone have stories of relationships making it through addiction? Alternatively, can anyone who has been in a similar situation offer any advice on how I can help him? I have never done drugs besides smoked some weed. This is all new to me and I could really use some perspective from people in similar situations, either from my shoes or his. I just want to make sure I do everything in my power to help him before  having to walk away.",6.820379746835442,7.731509181434602,7.301113924050636,70.85875949367089,64.78059071729959,10.201856540084387,34.36540084388186,10.203070172399654,3.6931735021097047,1024,44,171,23,15,336,141,237,0.09,0.765,0.14400000000000002,0.9348,2,0,3,0,0,0,17.0,3,0,0,2,6,6,1,1,7,0,26,9,2,5,4,37,39,12,0,2,6,0,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,0,11,12,0,0,6,1,0,4,4,3,0,1,8,0,29,3,37,29,7,30,1,0,0,1,31,14,1,5,10,134,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3457238451595459,0.0,0.10330018262800753,0.09370698285635336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14377506855567182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14783206101999893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09931955740324053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995281219115972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08440213574469076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250896091270426,0.10817970109560313,0.0,0.0,0.12259193106502428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950067978706338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158019249253576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23181469472701366,0.0,0.0,0.11045992851598872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252687920504427,0.2125688344276599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10490248247476514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09540887448935248,0.0,0.21169000423435952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22470946881026604,0.15542042465643655,0.0,0.0815313269597773,0.10209695222270887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11248462890787823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07328713479502344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21509346606183716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184212202788256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06772157790006161,0.0,0.0,0.453978922091616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17489150758011152,0.2376486054086524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07482323671594845,0.0,0.08442144529482509,0.0,0.0,0.11051274947149843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963196143720868,0.0,0.07948199074898117,0.0,0.09239662516893972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09130090827890673,0.0,0.0,0.06235145902385504,0.0839089724399767,0.08479549418685561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,1percentmate,2020/02/01,"Pornography Addiction is Ruining My Relationship and My life. I clearly said it. I'm living in a control by my hormones. My dopamine controls everyday of my life. I Cant seemed to spend my daily life with great performance. This have been triggered like this my whole life. I m addicted to Sex and I'm addicted to Porn. I just don't know how to clear my head and start working towards my goal in my life. Can someone give please advice or program or books that really helped to overcome this.
My life is completely fucked up right now...",2.777740511915269,5.415082378640783,3.756963812886145,84.8046954986761,79.58252427184465,7.628949691085613,28.7811120917917,8.575989854853784,2.5478815533980583,427,20,80,10,11,137,70,103,0.063,0.805,0.133,0.7584,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,5,3,4,1,0,1,0,7,13,1,4,2,15,15,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,9,1,0,0,5,4,0,2,2,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,2,1,15,2,12,13,1,8,0,1,0,3,4,5,1,3,4,49,20,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4635221119697114,0.0,0.13849758843360724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14860193031094848,0.0,0.3179260374255249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13102773766323186,0.0,0.13596099101094233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15625858438025475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454565756644034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09499909291993698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789147979980905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6006514604016158,0.06924245528787502,0.0,0.12515079453662015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15557773500194685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079630824906426,0.0,0.0,0.15216571817640265,0.0,0.12103723354137574,0.13481834072638696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12902629574144786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12008795239855174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10031771077572274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15823725217072598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10318162920311401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,psychological_girl,2020/02/01,"I need some help... (I'm not currently struggling with an addiction but someone near to me is) I'm not sure what an addiction is like, I've never dealt with one but I imagine its hard and I feel horrible for people who suffer. 

Someone near and dear to me is currently struggling with an addiction, and I need some help on how to handle it. I know she she smokes cigarets and weed daily which in itself is an addiction. She can't stand her s/o unless she gets high. Her s/o is a drug addict (It's either crack or heroin from what I've over heard). She wants to leave but cannot due to not having enough money to get a cheap place to rent and her credit is poor.

I think she also might be doing some form of drug, since whenever he has drugs she acts odd. Theres a difference between her being normal and high, but this other way she acts isn't like either. She's really paranoid, and repeats herself more than a couple times. For example she'll ask ""do you want a drink?"" multiple times, even if you already have a drink. It's like she forgotten she asked. Her eyes also get really wide. 

So I guess my question is, what could she possibly be on? I think finding this out would really help me talk to her about the addiction and help her get the help she needs.",2.510642755681822,4.2801845742187545,3.8364630681818177,88.28268465909092,76.3046875,7.310795454545455,22.18323863636364,8.150884317080207,1.0921625,985,27,206,17,22,323,140,256,0.115,0.75,0.135,0.6899,4,0,6,0,0,0,33.0,0,2,0,0,7,9,0,2,12,0,22,12,1,1,2,47,41,19,0,9,12,0,2,3,0,3,9,1,1,0,13,12,2,0,7,2,5,2,7,3,0,1,1,4,36,6,26,33,8,22,0,1,1,0,36,11,0,8,10,141,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5779865672099044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09751317867706158,0.141331212588832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16521903857852804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07055240965769295,0.09777439615902808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923228104606315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17312848009512674,0.3074266805542767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09130485731765917,0.0,0.0583643711150714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04468009247071008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08076417796297414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18466864750895215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734421334712147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07915784881720228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2961466032953626,0.1867253384820892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04856319457240161,0.0,0.0,0.0935659716921092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12951229726761992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937414967526345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196564994394106,0.0681526779962242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.086579119319543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05987853607462911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061261292869858534,0.0,0.0923228104606315,0.0,0.0,0.0996184686578254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898923020797083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16982700015281532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07309659394027665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497430685132899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847569544139553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832831408387623,0.0,0.0,0.07102458826352008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11324168467646968,0.0,0.0,0.10305289964741753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10424015082065252,0.07014017056924647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627720919034536,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,littlemonster231,2020/02/01,"A stupid but a really bad addiction I think i am addicted to my phone. I am filled with stuff to do on work days but i still manage to spend at least 6 hours on my phone. Im 14 btw. I think i can resist my phone but only when im without it. It is not so bad, but i think it might develop in something serious. Do you have any advice on how to use my phone a little bit less every day?",-0.13008620689655004,1.280783390804601,2.8926293103448266,93.69342672413794,82.90804597701148,6.648850574712642,17.771551724137932,7.645422480735847,0.16847241379310285,293,6,74,5,8,105,55,87,0.16699999999999998,0.833,0.0,-0.9329,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,4,4,1,0,3,0,8,2,0,2,0,13,12,7,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,1,1,2,4,0,0,0,0,12,0,11,11,3,12,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,5,49,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3999229521678975,0.0,0.1792418193356501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12473600824031525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3063061906197031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002537465617038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365892637256877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15454436354462867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18063771710294166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3962632337746368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838410961796133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945860591687565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395037813206814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11750742856670325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412103395360481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464842855126458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20997895017888232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3525960313974704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15842121950393892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17681617271163344,0.0,0.1335363535896399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,TommyTomTomek,2020/02/02,How to stop internet addiction? How to stop it?,0.1833333333333336,1.796965666666669,3.2094444444444434,80.06750000000002,114.55555555555556,10.68888888888889,26.722222222222207,8.841846274778883,4.516288888888889,37,2,7,2,2,13,6,9,0.405,0.595,0.0,-0.5803,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.546146307607693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8376898057673157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Sparklygirlthrowaway,2020/02/02,"Was I addicted to benzos? A while ago (when I was 15-17) I was prescribed valium for my anxiety. Also ablify, which was supposed to be for when I was having a REAL bad panic attack and I needed help immediately. 

After a short while, I started taking a lot more valium than I was supposed to. I was supposed ot be cutting the pills in half, and taking them that way when I NEEDED them. I ended up taking 2 or more just because I was bored and it made me feel good. When I was going through my medication a bit too quickly, I think my doctors just thought ot take me off it, and my first thought was ""Well, I guess my fun is over"".

I had a really bad time after that, night sweats, the lot. Woke up one night and had a really big panic attack, and I was going through EVERYTHING to try and find medication and I didnt have any more. I had nothing to help me and I thought I was going to die. 

Its now years later, and im having a rough time again and all I can think of is how angry and frustrated I am that I dont have any valium to help me get  through it. I knew I abused my medication, but its only now that Ive been thinking I was maybe addicted. I dont know if abusing means you are addicted or anything, which is why I'm coming here. I am honestly very close to just going to my doctors and trying to get prescribed it because I feel like I need it. Am I a bad person?",3.0378373702422152,3.6771778615916975,5.15276643598616,83.8568313148789,73.1522491349481,7.994532871972318,25.868685121107262,8.238735603445708,1.5022164705882348,1058,33,229,16,20,370,134,289,0.115,0.81,0.07400000000000001,-0.79,0,0,0,0,1,0,32.0,0,1,2,1,16,15,4,2,11,0,35,10,1,2,1,44,65,25,1,4,7,0,3,1,0,0,9,0,0,1,13,15,0,0,12,0,0,5,3,10,1,3,24,3,46,5,24,39,7,36,0,0,0,0,7,8,0,6,23,172,59,2,0.0,0.2116871258967524,0.0,0.29215450935874104,0.0,0.0,0.07918724144483548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07143859981086872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12149736039328513,0.0,0.06833857447707281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07351245121979877,0.0,0.0,0.2032556138879596,0.0,0.0,0.2237649385936589,0.10891165949717203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752717743395466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07695142670116845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09271229385940348,0.0,0.0,0.18286974378791676,0.0,0.0,0.2093923840367678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.079121450441932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08028565228074118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033767381062968,0.06381864828815101,0.0,0.0,0.08164763724678624,0.07598557453736557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09334434598949223,0.0,0.2030772585626788,0.07492726673805376,0.0,0.0,0.09840903752011468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17963164646197008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964936621023058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04909441529647349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04364300004040708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15189338584339204,0.0,0.08452789920371842,0.0,0.0,0.08974578958949407,0.09730850730749456,0.0,0.269977139305695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19871517004808908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16766366594132154,0.0,0.0857162613438193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0605335325090689,0.06794085138066316,0.0,0.2096232148036664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780010729281149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167913370052484,0.1144564636857011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06322950041612793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686655529867599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17172061100995945,0.0,0.21275838728257546,0.10418016972201677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12130084239370645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07370808194245054,0.0,0.07090741647480095,0.0,0.0,0.08032000710231957,0.0,0.08060804537801801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057526743598275774
addiction,system-override,2020/02/02,"Putting words to my weed addiction I want to stop. I continue to buy because I don’t have anything better to do. I’m just lacking a hobby or friends maybe. 

During the days that I’m withdrawing I find myself pacing around the neighborhood with nothing to do and eventually I succumb within a week because I just want to feel or think different I guess. 

I just don’t get why I like it, or crave it so much. I don’t even get high. I do sometimes but only if I quit for a month or so. Otherwise I am just charring my throat and lungs with little to no positive effect cause the tolerance builds really fast. Maybe I get a nearly unnoticeable, mild change from my normal experience. But that’s not worth the price tag. Weed is expensive!! 

Maybe what keeps me going is the idea that this substance can somehow enlighten me, or inspire me in some way. It’s never done so, but ideology is powerful and marijuana certainly has a stigma of somehow stimulating your “third eye” or whatever. For me this is bullshit. I often get more anxious around people, remember bad memories, self criticism spikes, and I think I look uglier in the mirror. 

If anyone read through that, thank you. It’s my marijuana  experience/struggle. 

I’m now gonna go ride a moped around town on this beautiful day and try to find pleasure without that plant.",3.6545703933747435,5.974816075396831,4.978281573498968,78.88555900621121,74.75396825396825,8.509592822636304,28.813664596273288,9.20300075937882,2.80395424430642,1049,45,190,26,23,348,152,252,0.099,0.715,0.18600000000000005,0.9745,2,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,0,4,15,8,0,0,12,0,15,4,3,3,2,53,34,19,0,6,17,0,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,1,13,10,0,2,10,1,4,4,7,1,0,1,1,3,28,7,24,32,4,25,0,0,2,0,4,11,0,13,10,128,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13303950047399687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13786827268439802,0.0,0.08533185009150521,0.0,0.10042692625591486,0.325919244783796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10189668377680404,0.14878653908612988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10793274803389846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12536670603945374,0.12910008734371733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15740890735554444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275037997370341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12488730757240868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060498861879101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11937664136527446,0.0,0.0,0.061706110702152636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2230811545172452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942863035471091,0.0,0.2550394006877737,0.0,0.13871408537955784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13443868337893752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12893991227553972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13776611685219126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084730363262146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05962163244346307,0.12231419812114035,0.0,0.0,0.10248123554610593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3678109072680019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09740961633768708,0.0,0.08971201704444194,0.0,0.09412327639742546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11957138908628805,0.11709881134517325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09281544497773866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08460582578387865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12268195889513972,0.0,0.1298025003130754,0.12207108668174847,0.0,0.0781807071274814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13824533372358722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12731231360369205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069876327835573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10202928387414527,0.0,0.1275806791305742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123562506517226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15639412419133356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285583293522543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14396242107969942,0.09686813277414437,0.09789157167211517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012036865166323,0.0,0.0,0.1176403362985974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,i-me-and-myself,2020/02/02,"""Principles Before Personalities. ""  

So I’ve been going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings for quite some time now with my dad. Neither of us drink and he claims to go because he wants to meet people and reconnect with old friends apparently. I just go just for my personal amusement. It’s fun to watch losers talk about their pathetic lives in front of other losers.

But as you would expect, I’m not vocal at all about this at meetings. I just sit there silently trying to blend in without saying anything aside from the shit that everyone else says when everyone holds hands and are in a circle. It’s a feeling of *epicaricacy* that is hidden from everyone else.

I’ve heard some unique stories from my time there. There was once this man who grew up with his adopted family in Tijuana and then one day a robber came murdered his entire family when he wasn’t home. This guy claimed that the event put him in “so much rage” that’s what made him a drinker. When I told The Boy Named Crow about this, he just said “Damn that sucks.”. I said I thought that moment was pretty funny because of how cartoonish it was. It’s kinda weird that this one guy was apparently able to murder an entire household when just trying to kill 2 people on your own can be pretty difficult. It just fell into the realm of unreality.

There always seems to be an old woman with brown hair whenever I go there. I don’t know why.

Yesterday me and dad went to this meeting and this guy was telling this very long story and since we just walked in during the middle of it I don’t really know the whole story and he kept going on about rabbis and god or whatever. The room was really dark which made sense since it was at 10 something PM and I just kept staring at the white LED lights hung on the wall behind him as he spoke and the patterns they made or the ceiling fan and the slow movement it made before it made it’s eventual stop. I remember there was this old guy sitting in a chair in a corner of the room on my right saying stuff like “Oh god is this guy still talking?” but no one except me seemed to notice him when he said that at all.

When the guy finally stopped talking all of a sudden some guy in the crowd got up with his shitty acoustic guitar and started playing some shitty song and singing. I told dad “This song is shit.” and “We should split.”. But dad wanted to stay and said no and I can just go to the car and wait for him if I’d like. But I insisted that “We should go.” and eventually I decided to walk home by myself and asked for house keys, which he gave to me.

I just walked home alone that night listening to some podcast that doesn’t suck and went to sleep not long after returning home.

​

​

Originally posted here: [https://i-me-and-myself.neocities.org/personalities.html](https://i-me-and-myself.neocities.org/personalities.html)",5.780667371281898,7.070577126629428,5.539916452765619,81.19428657707991,67.30540037243948,8.263505964064624,26.80401630680961,8.524219190627866,1.7164080628114151,2275,66,430,33,37,704,262,537,0.092,0.848,0.06,-0.9589,2,1,4,0,0,0,70.0,4,2,2,3,32,19,9,0,25,0,24,7,5,8,3,90,66,40,3,7,21,4,3,2,1,3,1,12,6,12,38,31,2,6,8,7,0,20,10,13,0,3,31,20,39,6,68,30,12,81,1,2,4,0,66,27,5,11,32,270,77,0,0.06275612920655113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06706721676420753,0.0,0.06499642359967776,0.0,0.0,0.05221812678854397,0.13599247955212865,0.1525111319732004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05164294716824283,0.0,0.05866850935339653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651110776596283,0.0,0.10680168749490704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177629338871437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040472511653190386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06147711511450656,0.0,0.0,0.10484938652291563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17989851243508245,0.0,0.0,0.11832178692693175,0.0,0.03173138453753408,0.0,0.0,0.06874627205041514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04848522975167209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24966028110553676,0.0,0.050191809407984816,0.0,0.0,0.4349690409334507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.251798057664737,0.0,0.0,0.07241214730516603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06943035887295844,0.0,0.06897825479471187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061318949591585466,0.0,0.0554148118349703,0.11107439905515874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29690683417481445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04613297577958825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058892376043567375,0.0,0.0,0.07144826904648224,0.1975560026551992,0.06683322946648637,0.12757553187524545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08701439651649327,0.10959246281283017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060103024383501485,0.1276910892775311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06308724321177846,0.0,0.06674886821580049,0.0,0.0,0.08040636666448989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109046081476404,0.053593391448730265,0.2387817995376639,0.1497185783749141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11426164614853365,0.0,0.0,0.1288365296014311,0.1038250371672089,0.0,0.06280145093253711,0.0,0.0,0.04831273425027492,0.0,0.0,0.04441911125642127,0.06688968376549832,0.05011712584974859,0.10493386810025564,0.0,0.0,0.07184075366913438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513229984889041,0.05485162301488875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04982135666234542,0.07318720722352498,0.0,0.0,0.1199323416233883,0.0,0.08521458462147415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07548789647709464,0.0,0.0,0.05178037894893782,0.07403038192253113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163511210024543,0.05662764551743237,0.07006497710853718,0.0,0.06049466909742215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044580153627024506,0.0,0.1525111319732004,0.0
addiction,RorschachSwe,2020/02/02,"What the F should I do? (Addiction starting again after 8 years.) I still have my job, I get good grades in school (studying to assistent nurse). I love my son and my gf. 

The thing is, I use Vyvanse to study, which creates a vicious cycle of anxiety and depression. Now I cant study without it. A month ago I got prescribed Diazepam for my stuttering and anxiety, thought I could handle it well. Now a few weeks later I buy Xanax and other Bzd from the black market to fill out my consumption. I also have a sex addiction to either porn or random encounters, I dont care if the girl looks like crap, I just want my high. 

The whole thing started of with smoking weed and loosing my license, then it escalated. 

I know that I can be happy without drugs, I have been there before.. I was drug free for 8 YEARS before all of this, I drank moderately and rarely though. Now I take everything I can get my hands on. My morals have slowly faded... I rarely even started to take Oxy at night once a week. 

The good thing though, is that I hate alcohol, cant stand the hangover so I rarely drink. It just makes me feel ill even when drunk. Poison.

Im starting to loose my mind... I cant go into rehab because I have to work and study otherwise my life falls apart completely. Is there an option? I dont like like AA meetings because of my stutter. 

What can I do to stop myself? Now its sunday, I went to sleep laaaate at night waking up with huge anxiety, as many times before. Been studying the whole night on Vyvanse. This is slowly eating me up. 

Help!!!",1.8050020491803282,4.151683986885246,3.022269467213114,90.37061731557378,81.2622950819672,5.9108606557377055,22.646004098360656,7.1686216300943375,0.8294118852459023,1196,40,243,16,32,385,173,305,0.126,0.7609999999999999,0.113,-0.4843,1,0,4,0,0,0,51.0,0,0,0,1,18,17,4,0,14,0,25,21,4,2,1,31,47,16,0,4,7,1,2,3,1,1,10,0,0,1,16,11,5,1,3,2,2,4,7,7,2,0,7,4,42,11,31,37,5,44,1,1,2,3,6,12,1,4,30,161,58,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119481564689496,0.0,0.0,0.08617147418124728,0.1038887397280312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773941037503104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2230978980459884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11851755514094175,0.0,0.24815759285975855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09911284950098356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10192363329753383,0.0,0.0,0.07761488247161755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837274859237812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278605755870909,0.0952295371644181,0.22546724055330625,0.09947087709962607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284135815234256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08736676371602148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04915268157048748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157722069409884,0.0,0.05524711564559007,0.163071548228827,0.07774832586832331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10348266261090268,0.0,0.095975500788415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06515832392021499,0.10270850613803308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10500430322851133,0.0,0.09646668033245807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0534244919127614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06866283529146043,0.1424768024200212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163255600505932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773650707892443,0.0,0.06488893775850363,0.0985564537261608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815515684190013,0.0,0.07759270191019604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736771416174544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352628774857778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983824798714316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09728096535467083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27522510764046243,0.0,0.07763263923157432,0.08127254892692151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146180788345286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19374753009580933,0.0,0.1910181580477744,0.07717448561178525,0.05668437643236165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08395888567387393,0.0,0.0,0.057337425426166475,0.0,0.15595321747173976,0.0,0.08740414859730578,0.09011534927254908,0.0,0.21706468590967154,0.0,0.1874154090780607,0.0,0.07077059171394537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252010856865972
addiction,Beckstar1982,2020/02/02,"13 months clean from drugs/alcohol & casual sex, 84 days from gambling, 2 days from all medication/antidepressants & tonight I put down cigarettes after 23 years!! Wish me luck! Think this one is going to be the hardest of the lot but determined to do it this time, so sick of wheezing and coughing and being unable to breathe just cos I'm addicted to cigarettes and have been since I was 14. Probably my longest addiction to break but know what I have to do, just not pick up the first one again!! Nicorette gum and lots of lozenges at the ready....",5.6725714285714295,6.698090542857145,5.543809523809526,82.03285714285717,67.3809523809524,9.80952380952381,32.14285714285714,9.957137785484203,3.0210000000000004,437,18,86,10,7,136,78,105,0.054000000000000006,0.8420000000000001,0.10400000000000001,0.3624,0,0,4,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,4,0,9,7,1,2,1,18,14,7,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,0,4,4,0,0,2,1,1,2,1,0,0,3,2,0,5,2,16,10,3,15,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,3,9,55,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4421695556468439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21673431204854032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4394730827004531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615818098094114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725037950081798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11525739587812432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11145500976879144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3448310505534449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16187510708589573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748485918976758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21865551262735028,0.0,0.0,0.2038726357859069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16776041328032468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12994772258066214,0.0,0.0,0.11825583178822162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332129909175145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13059823059290296
addiction,LaYrreb,2020/02/02,"Can't Cope when Clean As the title says, I've gone back to using lightly for the most part. Cannibis seems to be getting me through a lot more than I thought it would, which is good. I used to smoke daily for about 8 years and had left it for the past year really.

Trying to hold back on the codeine/coke/valium/etc but Cannibis and as little alcohol as possible helps get me through, especially in the evenings.

I don't understand why I feel such a crippling loneliness so often but I know that even when I was back at my uni town with all my friends the same feeling always crept in.

Just venting really, but I feel less terrified of being alive when I have the option of using. Cannibis is a good friend to me.

Peace",4.348333333333333,5.337269388888887,4.8579444444444455,85.8815,70.3888888888889,8.26,28.288888888888888,8.548686976883017,1.8865688888888896,568,20,117,9,10,181,98,144,0.068,0.752,0.18,0.9528,0,0,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,13,4,0,0,10,0,10,1,0,3,1,25,23,12,0,1,4,0,3,0,2,1,1,1,1,0,4,3,1,1,7,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,5,13,4,22,16,7,17,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,5,9,83,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16747109418245193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13039197466894906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3614918043363161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747686525155191,0.20700571651860128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377058395210309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.242141387997288,0.0,0.1637448710821464,0.0,0.0,0.26287517476294336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503675211172796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861215386787257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17026156566097742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570606153312089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13322586718833926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16969736513078534,0.14959364216846596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17666250907031422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20077979755563607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12461892883791828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426592888956392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12440708764211035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10639311138432066,0.0,0.0,0.16313650908302715,0.0,0.4060311007800938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14140282262080653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111319471225232,0.0,0.0,0.20182709760129952
addiction,youngpharaohx,2020/02/02,"You are fine Some people might get mad at me for this but to be honest, none of you are mental or suffer from this and that. We sit here and make excuses as to why we get high and do drugs but really these are just things society makes us think we have. I thought I had anxiety as well but really I didn’t suffer from shit. I was definitely sad and depressed because of things that happened in my life but it’s normal to be sad when you suffer trauma. I just smoked too much weed from when I was young and I grew up with a lack of confidence in myself and from all the weed I smoked I really lost a lot of brain cells. I didn’t like talking to people because I didn’t like serious conversations, although I was smart I really forgot my words sometimes and it was embarrassing. When you do drugs for a long time your brain is in a gray fog state. Get off the drugs and suffer and your life will change. I promise you guys are fine. I know you’ll say you don’t live my life you don’t know how I feel blah blah but just shut the fuck up and get off the drugs. You will see. You aren’t bipolar, you don’t have anxiety. You are a perfect human being.",1.8582197194230368,3.5302056182572628,3.280735032602254,91.98168741355465,77.87966804979253,6.748152539023909,19.77494566291247,7.62386473244151,0.39597672396759576,898,20,204,13,21,294,119,241,0.23199999999999998,0.639,0.13,-0.9833,1,0,6,0,0,0,16.0,4,14,0,2,10,23,3,1,9,0,29,12,3,3,2,40,45,23,0,2,9,0,1,4,0,4,8,1,0,2,9,14,0,1,5,0,0,1,8,14,1,0,11,4,39,9,25,27,6,19,0,8,2,1,25,10,2,4,8,143,48,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17696229211603615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14101301534499294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582341826971777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12235510490032375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09961954786636702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5365249968939574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05848220402710906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10692769469073947,0.2417145740714084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452360659908553,0.10227956234915833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122203298362679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271296676502268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450865638024121,0.11301326346164528,0.0,0.1021317027003083,0.10235726808656193,0.0,0.0,0.12625878255261674,0.09833173256024684,0.0,0.0,0.15441062321912924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656013500385448,0.1226991493468372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502490960418789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332424443508465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16037099434958313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29638426490901976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919790986619088,0.0,0.0,0.0921676731890949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11872542468771052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11439271766674955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092964768694056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15368144351816151,0.07411156671133003,0.0,0.09182274230070772,0.06744346720764169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13912719623465292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10399406680901252,0.0,0.10436700342551923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,turtlevert,2020/02/02,"I'm addicted to eating carpet. I'm addicted to eating carpet. I'm not a troll, and I don't mean vaginal hair. I am genuinely addicted to eating carpet, the flooring. This has become so bad that I've destroyed whole carpets because of this. I carefully eat carpet that is in corners, free from any debris or anything else. Cleaned with water or my saliva. When I try to stop eating it, I cant stop thinking about it. I can't go without it and when I try to it's on my mind all the time. I've even gotten samples from home depot to eat. This is a genuine issue. I'm mildly anemic, I don't know if that has anything to do with it. My doctor suggested I get Pica testing but that was forgotten about after I said I was no longer eating it. I don't know what to do at this point. I've been doing this for some years now and I know if I don't stop now, this can potentially kill me. My parents know about it but they think I've stopped because of my stealth with it. Does anyone have advice or know someone who was dealing with this? Thank you.",1.1480393799748612,3.2286831105990785,3.2107352325094247,89.61142752408884,81.94930875576037,5.420108923334731,22.76686217008797,6.574015621080383,0.6294995391705069,813,28,168,8,22,275,113,217,0.128,0.8370000000000001,0.035,-0.9522,1,0,0,0,0,1,24.0,0,1,1,0,9,6,2,0,4,0,20,13,1,0,1,31,38,13,1,2,9,1,1,0,0,0,4,1,7,0,21,7,8,4,8,0,1,1,9,3,0,0,6,3,22,4,25,32,3,18,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,6,11,113,43,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105028371019761,0.0,0.09277635959517493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645639103523007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06638575123471592,0.0,0.15625858191385958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927272048590954,0.11575169365546716,0.10485613350774964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09679983846372067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788117660715608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717730250149358,0.08308450580692431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6800465750402027,0.07931197458209661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06270838751282229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0496033491332771,0.0,0.05395780564281469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09523470671410267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990949265697827,0.0,0.0,0.1050394101629656,0.0,0.2608885837305251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341982281722893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958644956180259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10542200992326024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897510095437466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09031171589859226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044416643483432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3175035183539049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08740996588533098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121670178391816,0.0,0.0,0.05536152486479457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12891896068548098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10599950782378603,0.0,0.0915208341587857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06113962483655961
addiction,Xyndur,2020/02/02,"Proud off myself! For the first night since New Years, I didn't do cocaine. I've always done it sparingly, but tonight I will sleep well before work and that makes me happy.",3.215196078431372,5.280894441176475,3.0594117647058816,93.31401960784315,75.17647058823529,5.7098039215686285,20.15686274509804,6.42735559955562,0.04052156862745093,137,3,28,1,3,41,32,34,0.0,0.7290000000000001,0.271,0.8762,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,1,0,4,1,1,1,0,3,5,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,4,3,2,2,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,17,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262887333592828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26884161282198954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3233162433581026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26873834552644016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3363239334508421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21089235852429172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051367559408016,0.0,0.29648822466829944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613487773277597,0.0,0.3161681009407165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840679425373684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300080339773745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20345495828977586
addiction,Many-Set,2020/02/02,"Oxycodone/blues m30 Buy oxycodone Call/Text: +1 (909) 341-0623 ,  Whats_App
without prescription. You can buy oxycodone online tablets without prescription (No RX). wick_r... mark10",7.0749999999999975,10.848514961538468,3.684153846153848,77.91084615384621,91.69230769230772,5.1569230769230785,39.815384615384616,6.742157984588678,3.9602092307692303,143,9,16,2,5,38,21,26,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4680465710804094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8837038006594016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Bellbaby1234,2020/02/02,"Death from addiction, cold and dark 33 year old sister found dead, laying straight out with her head on the toilet and a lighter in her hand. My parents died one after the other in the last two years (cancer and West Nile virus). I have no family left except for my sister's daughter (9) and my children. This was my niece's transition weekend into her adoptive home. It is an open adoption and I get unlimited visitation due to the loss the child has suffered. Having to tell my niece tomorrow, that her mother is dead. Dying on a toilet alone in a hotel. So cold and lonely and dark. How do you reconcile a drug death????",4.351416666666669,5.842545308333339,5.146666666666668,81.91166666666669,70.91666666666666,7.666666666666668,25.833333333333336,8.167268648758528,1.6245833333333333,487,15,91,7,9,158,86,120,0.218,0.745,0.038,-0.9762,1,3,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,10,0,7,5,2,1,0,15,9,9,6,0,1,5,1,0,0,0,3,0,1,2,4,11,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,3,0,2,2,3,12,0,14,7,0,20,0,3,0,0,14,11,0,0,8,59,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416421231036484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295729154578023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.460096178049808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570552327762455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20896132496686531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24303875384098456,0.0,0.0,0.11580820364948907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274871134857295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223430575224453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18068248819916205,0.0,0.0,0.2408342434109645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23259488745145998,0.0,0.15020255562607648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461272032565434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19374061395560735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21652961589614145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28548355092320266
addiction,seethroughtop,2020/02/02,"Have I ruined my life? I went to a 'networking event' the other night, only had 4 glasses of wine but I'm pretty small and a lightweight (25/F). Headed home with a friend - we live in college campus accommodation.

He made it back to his room but I was stopped on the way in and deemed 'incredibly intoxicated'. I had honestly been fine up until that point but I guess it all hit me pretty hard on the way home. 

Campus security basically decided I needed to go to hospital to be checked out, but I insisted I was fine and just wanted to head to my room. They eventually relented and escorted me to my room, but not without telling my roommate about the incident and instructing her to take care of me. (For context, it's a building housing only grad students and professors, so drinking is not forbidden).

Obviously my roommate was furious and kept asking me what drugs I had taken, not believing me when I told her I hadn't. Once I thought she had gone to bed, I decided to avoid the tension by heading to a friend's room on a different floor (he invited me over). Unfortunately he had changed room recently, so a Resident Assistant then found me on a different floor waiting for him to text me back, she definitely did not believe me that I was meeting someone so brought me back to my floor. FINALLY got in touch with my friend, went to his and vented/recovered from the incident.

​

The next day I got an email from the Residential Services with an 'account' of the night before and checking that I was okay. I responded but they are out of office for the weekend. I also emailed the Resident Assistant in question and she was super nice about everything.

​

ANYWAY I'm completely freaking out. The past two days I haven't left my room because I'm too scared to face my roommate, let alone the building security guys on front desk. I'm literally petrified but this can't go on forever. I can't believe this all escalated so fast over a few glasses of wine. 

WTF do I do? Will I face major repercussions for this?

​

TL;DR - got in trouble with campus security for being drunk, scared to face them ever again.",5.498666902404526,6.759552933168317,6.627241867043848,73.24742574257426,67.93564356435644,10.226874115983028,35.220650636492216,10.371327730470783,3.9451056577086288,1691,84,302,45,28,568,204,404,0.11900000000000001,0.755,0.126,0.6306,2,2,4,0,1,0,57.0,1,0,3,1,16,21,1,4,24,1,26,13,6,1,4,48,53,25,0,2,13,0,2,0,3,1,3,0,9,1,11,18,4,7,5,5,3,7,9,8,0,1,27,2,53,13,55,21,4,58,0,1,0,0,27,29,0,2,20,209,64,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717278615983971,0.0,0.06730921331466655,0.0,0.2735883610849057,0.30682042699102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07868582818771505,0.0,0.0,0.19416026136770112,0.0,0.05130810332899452,0.0,0.07162086888692841,0.2844859380902994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581500550496657,0.0,0.08903870823124961,0.0,0.08824867004179171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10856294572222212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758755374492617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08245271220780369,0.09760829492183852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761348811742871,0.0,0.0,0.07564487699616683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09220205883399893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09228599669471173,0.1950842368382634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09566936188657936,0.0,0.20195079788294928,0.0,0.09272067084277692,0.08333966941447496,0.0,0.0,0.07539810115501995,0.0,0.2591423137846906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16885496940157746,0.0,0.0,0.09711870719667333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09144890615238856,0.08606760291151705,0.05945043067765717,0.0,0.0,0.07432198995948404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964190806659834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06240959278335,0.0,0.0,0.08951374803920298,0.15797215351141933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963629839907683,0.0,0.1280272925412339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034799216458413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956607676529877,0.0,0.0,0.17125846936849626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942875546013598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08310586211023584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16853393812679687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07131537299036947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07036831519506684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06328394965804401,0.0,0.07356664472875314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668200837829064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042624340669342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222002088593967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04964453653951557,0.1336174682518946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15604937670224167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08113506191540652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30682042699102,0.0
addiction,salamimanman,2020/02/02,"I am in really deep trouble and in need of help Im in huge trouble

My parents caught me with a huge stash of over the counter drugs because I’ve been feeling pretty down recently. This is not the first time they have caught me and they search me 24/7. They have caught me with many things in the past such as illegal stuff too. They are thinking of sending me away to a rehab for 6 months ruining my school (M/15) life in which I am varsity choir and have finally been working to get up my grades. I’m considering taking the good amount of stuff I have left to attempt overdose. I don’t know what to do. I’m scared and have no place to turn and no one to run too.
Any tips on how I can fix this(I love my parents but whenever it comes to any of these matters they blow their minds”
And I need help fast as well so please help me with options 😓
I also have been through inpatient ,and therapy. I have a tendency to every now and then shoplift. And I also suffer from anxiety ,suicidalness,and depression.i don’t believe I am addicted because it’s only for when I hit my lows but they r really sensitive about everything.",4.0973672566371695,5.155618592920355,4.9037057522123915,85.06361172566375,71.0353982300885,8.835840707964602,29.169247787610626,9.188382445141503,2.3023194690265494,886,34,185,18,16,287,134,226,0.096,0.782,0.122,0.7192,2,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,7,3,11,9,0,1,7,0,19,5,0,1,0,25,35,19,0,2,3,2,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,9,13,0,0,3,1,0,6,5,6,1,2,6,2,29,3,33,28,1,32,0,3,0,1,14,16,0,1,10,124,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14679014939276191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21536171586050668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831354483157112,0.0,0.10300812654368607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12650963657525535,0.0,0.0,0.16416476476739186,0.0,0.0,0.15170627404525694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11599045429328468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15615313893443672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11344980371619873,0.0,0.12101620048500612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808390873495264,0.0,0.0,0.14750427629819468,0.0,0.11453460563573215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034991787141451,0.0,0.0,0.11293939671386248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707624429042358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14544686412551214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400101307562472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146299387354847,0.0,0.0951084266839628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152835104466865,0.0,0.0,0.13651561596105136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13595975899515125,0.0,0.1074776444857102,0.0,0.0,0.19968495137721454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124342766210992,0.10240863041199463,0.0,0.0,0.29902939497145314,0.0,0.12854021467772012,0.0,0.0,0.1406822916867627,0.14780705196184205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13698911338637926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17252256116397288,0.0,0.13295223774534265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13480976937746594,0.13627463582183627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3082877969269767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10124126634099703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15398587114746867,0.0,0.08945655818559882,0.08627932596110086,0.0,0.0,0.07851644688365952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14646230462265633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121067984207971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09802798857395208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,scubag1234,2020/02/02,"Am I an addict? 17 years old ! Hi guys I’m having some trouble with identifying if I am an addict or not. So when I was 14 I started to smoke weed everyday and would get introuble but didn’t care, eventually I found alcohol started to drink occasionally and then found Xanax and ambien. Shortly after I turned 15 I was taking xanxs as often as possible smoking weed, drinking lean, booze, ambien, hydros. I overdosed 3 times got suspended. Was getting drug tested from parents and school and had fake urine to pass all tests. Would get in trouble all the time and it sucked. I was majorly depressed I didn’t take my meds, had anxiety, defiance issues and shit sucked. I wanted to die. That Christmas I was sent to a wilderness program for 2 months where I graduated and went directly to a therapeutic boarding school. I was in treatment for a total of 16 MONTHS! Terrible but I needed it and I knew I was an addict. After coming home I was heavily involved in AA and there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that I was an addict. Shortly after my 17 birthday I started to question myself.  I began to experiment and I have drunken socially tons of times since. I have smoked weed maybe 5 times but got caught so I have stopped. I don’t ever feel the need to like get drunk or high and have no problem stopping. I want to tel my therapist that I have drank and smoked and I have been fine but she will tell my mom. I told my mom that I thought I was smoking someone nicotine vape but it had weed in it (when I got caught) although I knew it was weed. My question is if I am still an addict or not. I belive that the reason shit was so bad when I was younger is because well I was younger. Although I’m only 17 the emotional maturity from 14/15 to 17 is huge. I think that I didn’t have a lot of friends and was resentful at life. I just want to know what everyone else thinks and please don’t say only you can decide because I have decided but I just wanna know your opinions. Thanks guys!",2.1879253489126924,4.440067483544304,3.74481012658228,86.253605972087,79.22784810126583,6.684193443687112,25.824407659850696,7.793537801064563,1.5698536189548848,1556,62,309,26,39,515,196,395,0.183,0.742,0.075,-0.9941,1,0,7,0,0,0,36.0,0,2,0,0,14,19,5,1,14,0,44,17,3,1,4,69,86,38,1,11,15,3,1,1,1,3,9,1,1,2,12,18,6,2,15,3,0,6,9,13,2,0,38,2,53,6,32,45,7,41,0,1,0,0,18,11,4,12,25,208,65,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4576617645874474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973119603738999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642316683453897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07010581960508203,0.10236645474826726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08560614510946314,0.0,0.0,0.07232691867507815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07231743760500617,0.0,0.08714061357418866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16450407022397814,0.09737073149150567,0.0,0.07014053445489649,0.09444737262246487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07594958069798814,0.0,0.0802304984212106,0.0,0.08213218501738563,0.0,0.0,0.04245434988730325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841227738233192,0.06486981070141908,0.0,0.17546936322254955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20145928100580326,0.0,0.0,0.16627366720514455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08871179998049993,0.08422200131542733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08763583491643717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922880298590912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05930573756261138,0.0410202104103552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07138256583493903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435238569750199,0.0,0.09326425988774538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08477896299174033,0.19667352371023125,0.1340373550473623,0.0,0.0,0.12451539505465058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08810532307679984,0.0,0.0,0.12771569399505833,0.0,0.0,0.09323127003568547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09216645190315567,0.0,0.0946559662205072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034150566616853,0.0,0.0,0.1881161466744482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08632822107065215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06677095882195827,0.0,0.1699506146883413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723741710512238,0.06945528093400825,0.0,0.0,0.08558997550778974,0.07114180244847419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17828889458629096,0.0,0.06705317234596106,0.1403940992895163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12625985270636464,0.0,0.07338759494109079,0.0773020941186522,0.0,0.09748782279778788,0.0,0.10760054058156038,0.0,0.06665745407678042,0.19583862148005451,0.0,0.0,0.0802304984212106,0.0,0.0,0.09132792228421063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14857112834355707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07549305933249134,0.07783478837765867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11929018967783805,0.0,0.0,0.05406959018488721
addiction,ajnakeyflows,2020/02/03,"just want to be better than what i know i’ve been... lately, my addiction has really gotten the best of me, i’ve been dealing with my addiction for 4 years. i binge & wild out,  but never lose control of my priorities.. i’ve never lost a job for it, my child or a relationship. but i feel like i’ve lost myself. i recently had a spiritual transition & during these moments where i ascend into my next position in my spiritual awakening my third eye awakened & i see life & all perspectives differently... but at the same time, i’ve been high. granted during my sober moments i feel the same & have the same result. i just want to prevail over this obstacle... i know i’m better than the drugs & i know i don’t deserve to tarnish my body with this trash, but unfortunately my traumatic experiences manifest in my mind & i just feel the urge to be in a different space. i want to be the best mother, girlfriend, daughter & human i can be to my personal circle but i know it begins within wanting change....",3.787803030303032,5.565278424242425,5.625138888888888,76.77437500000002,72.83838383838383,8.990404040404039,28.031565656565647,9.516144504307137,2.7185444444444435,800,31,149,20,16,275,106,198,0.040999999999999995,0.795,0.16399999999999998,0.9645,3,0,1,0,0,0,45.0,0,0,0,8,4,8,0,0,11,0,12,6,2,2,3,33,29,6,0,4,9,2,3,1,1,0,4,0,0,3,6,4,0,1,7,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,7,5,29,5,22,18,6,21,0,3,2,0,8,11,0,1,11,99,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902587665234401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7563940625674671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831539476102885,0.15435379293556847,0.0,0.0969293505595741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09231252105041116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09787270255979394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996416313431807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823422034703242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10119719792278596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535980839129591,0.0,0.0,0.1323681515714019,0.062340595038980436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09219798848380234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659491036126694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918295134584496,0.0,0.09843629185422634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061636329214636174,0.04263221902665045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09762480436116787,0.19051541056145796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881105992134005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13460497374626826,0.0,0.09280502732259996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07619455175644044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05590281401767677,0.0,0.08616153353818759,0.09368764002769156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06953719077244012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050883667595152886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20587955128187824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05619441217837919
addiction,meowmeowfantastic,2020/02/03,"Seeking advice Hello all,

(This is a long post)

I’m in a tricky situation and I’m not sure if I can fix it but I’m trying my best.

My brother had some shit things happen and fell into a meth addiction a few years ago. I love this dude so much - at heart he is a very kind and thoughtful dude. When on the substance he is a completely different person. This change in character has lead to some pretty serious legal ramifications and now part of his bail is that he has to be with my mother at all times. 

She is toxic and I don’t believe he can heal with her. I am fighting tooth and nail to try and get him to a better set up.
Due to her actions none of our family want to interact with her. I had gone NC for my own well being but now again feel myself forced to be around her.

I’m about to sound kind of fickle and selfish - obviously he comes first - I’ve dropped everything to move back here for the month and try and help and get things on track - but this is really putting all of us in a very toxic environment.

1. My dad spent 10 years trapped in litigation with my mother following their separation that was a result of decades of abuse. He’s a good guy and didn’t want to just cut off her cash flow and kept trying to leave her in a situation where she would be financially comfortable - she took advantage of this. He lost basically his whole life to her and just finally in the last year got free and moved to a job he loves. Then this happened and now he is trapped in the cycle with her again because he wants to help my brother and she is manipulating and complicating things.

2. My family - they decided to be NC with her but want to help my brother and are also back trapped with her 

3. Me - I wanted to be NC because she makes me feel very unsafe and I too am now involved. This part isn’t a super big deal - my brother comes first and I can suck it up temporarily 

We all want to help him. Thousands of dollars have gone into this issue and so
Has an immense amount of effort.

I plan on sitting down with him and having an overall talk just about how much he matters to me, what it was like being with him under the influence etc, I’ve been mulling this convo over in my head to find the perfect way to phrase things in a caring but impactful way without being too pushy

The part I’m struggling with is;

He still thinks he can do meth once in a while. I don’t believe that is possible. He’s been clean for months and if he goes back again at square one. We’ve been trying to help and get this sorted for 2 years now. I don’t think we can do this endlessly and I don’t know if he can realize this and make the choice to not take that risk.

I don’t know what it’s like for him, I don’t know the mindset that can go with it. I don’t want to be harsh and kinda say “you’re putting us all through hell we need you to stop” - we love him and want to make sure he is healthy and happy but we too have to take care of ourselves after a bit 


He has been doing quite well I’m just scared since he still thinks he can do it occasionally",3.2565319335083127,4.112547538582678,4.444986876640421,88.32765529308838,72.8267716535433,7.72318460192476,24.662292213473314,8.021203637495839,1.0931179352580922,2377,67,537,33,45,782,272,635,0.10800000000000001,0.706,0.18600000000000005,0.9956,2,3,2,0,3,0,42.0,8,1,2,12,32,33,5,3,27,0,60,10,4,8,9,113,111,46,0,13,16,7,2,2,0,1,3,2,1,2,29,51,0,2,12,0,4,15,13,11,2,4,17,5,64,23,83,84,20,80,1,1,1,3,78,27,3,7,34,357,93,3,0.0,0.08043520986841085,0.0,0.07400704908159134,0.0,0.06633856871249612,0.06017789090889236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0542893550484054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06043398504307119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15660315797191895,0.0,0.08276679228045898,0.0,0.0,0.15297121388182586,0.07124340937326468,0.06004069582940895,0.07411522029544675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384310133164145,0.0,0.07181563720882768,0.11695759258219635,0.07117841888971335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06998870389339454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709276563096568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07571215327737843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06101262193689925,0.0,0.12799598707667265,0.0,0.06865159816592811,0.0,0.0,0.07436708975979403,0.06204765461654259,0.1154896049345161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10640475221941048,0.0,0.038581850083688064,0.05694054751238147,0.05429558118748262,0.0,0.0,0.067218983548472,0.1200648219709121,0.07226716776902745,0.0,0.0,0.06967183435127552,0.0,0.0,0.08044663772662654,0.22751673601577316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708565805340262,0.06736755313225196,0.0,0.0,0.14138810692243245,0.11192705973999002,0.055337114243959165,0.0,0.07188272377482395,0.0,0.0,0.047950724423883165,0.06633249618116834,0.0,0.0,0.06007801992879329,0.0,0.0,0.07410687874129715,0.0,0.183812497182685,0.0,0.1359456637382764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10837380224125566,0.14430666198044712,0.09980978017749333,0.05033748537814823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07229763340514242,0.046002111567408514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22054560817321145,0.0,0.0,0.05927646893363009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07653259765168795,0.06501715476128067,0.06906567014182323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13649073727773006,0.0,0.0722063746282679,0.0,0.0,0.04349026724395975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05398661204761168,0.06796691235936628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06968521692480728,0.056156978611621666,0.15261607422421308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10842958273687628,0.05675672407466185,0.0,0.0709704226837849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796573155275393,0.0,0.10208542464430627,0.05456514550147912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804049091767813,0.1304980954964133,0.0,0.05389483956520927,0.039585561853223865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07542515727593717,0.2304547022833969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16331984282648054,0.0,0.0,0.1680421050148517,0.3203329514855612,0.10777137062476272,0.0,0.0,0.12207745937385682,0.0,0.0,0.07579361449341357,0.0,0.06544082104492624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048225106429844865,0.0,0.0,0.17486847817586856
addiction,ccg1991,2020/02/03,"I need to grow a pair with my addict partner :/ Hi, I'm 28(F) dating 35(M), we've been together for a little over 3 years. I found out about his opiate addiction about 6 months into our relationship. And yes I feel like a moron for being completely oblivious to this, I am not what I consider a naïve person, I've done plenty of drugs in my life so I am the last person to judge, but on a very recreational level. I have learned I definitely do not have an addictive personality through this experience. This has been an emotional roller coaster for so many reasons. He is a very high functioning addict. He runs his own business, super successful, we do not want for anything. He probably spends 150k plus on pills per year but you'd never know it. He doesn't miss the money. <- (makes me sick even typing it as I make 40k a year but that's besides the point.)

We've fought over him getting sober more times than I can count. Yes he admits he has a problem but has never been to an actual rehab. He's tried suboxone a few times but claims he hates it (The more I've learned about it, I believe he has put himself in PW and makes it even worse.)

I finally had it this weekend after an argument seemingly unrelated to addiction but his attitude becomes erratic and nasty when he's unable to get pills and he will never admit it but I know his behavior well enough to know that's why he was acting that way. Hes not abusive, doesn't steal, doesn't cheat, etc. But he is taking idk how many Roxy's a day and its made him very isolated I guess I would say. I KNOW I need to leave. So please keep the mean comments to a minimum, as I am completely heartbroken. He is the love of my life and I know I can't make him change but it doesn't make it any easier. I guess I'm wondering if leaving will even do anything or if this has been a complete waste of my time, love, loyalty, and energy. I wish I could leave my emotions out of it. I haven't spoken to him in a couple of days but I know he will probably say everything I want to hear when we do so I just want to mentally prepare for it. I've threatened to leave before but never followed through. 

I don't have a ton of people to talk to about it, I feel bad burdening my friends with it as i'm already burdening them asking if me and my dog can crash at their place until I figure out where i'm going to move. We have super intertwined lives between living together having animals together etc so it's not like I can pack up and leave in a day as I don't have unlimited funds to go buy my own place.

I just want to know that there's light at the end of this tunnel. I thought I was going to marry him. I'm pretty heartbroken. Thanks for reading.",2.556053209857165,4.168709146209388,4.31489876000628,85.57765656882752,75.76895306859204,7.994286611207032,24.85936273740386,8.716276077567194,1.711088337780568,2113,71,445,44,46,714,257,554,0.142,0.7140000000000001,0.14400000000000002,0.868,1,0,2,0,0,0,58.0,4,1,2,3,20,20,4,0,26,2,48,14,0,8,4,85,100,38,0,13,22,0,2,2,2,4,12,3,0,4,26,19,0,1,20,3,4,9,17,10,1,0,12,6,63,10,64,81,9,55,0,1,0,2,51,22,0,8,25,283,89,5,0.0,0.07697309577858331,0.06339662841412455,0.3541080881474048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071690673581977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044178539052765635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10692158863585978,0.0,0.0607336583883076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054243198076073966,0.0,0.07174891923083547,0.05528056938125483,0.07319349273007973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06872452910011034,0.0,0.20434421431345265,0.0,0.0,0.05186939693497437,0.07188271795472362,0.0,0.1256914684190468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06648191786767302,0.0,0.0,0.07533896479434471,0.0,0.0,0.14615413013597373,0.05753985233828241,0.06712638036430926,0.1449066605372573,0.12872663372870474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0583865001376197,0.06354839591656165,0.0,0.0,0.06569667748270651,0.046411125913623,0.0,0.07116616133929188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712309487791116,0.05019192430608743,0.0,0.06788323336906937,0.0,0.11076359892633188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14313290406160115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06413964935458974,0.0,0.0,0.07322046099160448,0.0,0.0,0.06863926226287903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05774402244772028,0.0,0.0,0.24992208480892625,0.05295527918406648,0.0,0.3439436405398097,0.0,0.0,0.09177363271060572,0.06347739491372645,0.0651121609682013,0.11473085949277108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726719326101115,0.061471608665929475,0.216823756095712,0.1317289585717034,0.0,0.07076610843782698,0.0,0.0,0.0654696050198392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05185457384553616,0.06904768777429969,0.0,0.09634169139619332,0.20042055682117674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04503866461873465,0.17017522530651433,0.13574953783063998,0.07131224104809421,0.061413078274188786,0.0,0.0,0.06609292686045967,0.14008686857889854,0.062162887904730874,0.0,0.06530793299697855,0.0,0.0,0.06498274417589059,0.0,0.0,0.06679500819573947,0.0,0.06974827325848527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332581133810208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059141845093333464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048845718072960016,0.05221653772929562,0.0,0.05981119437150695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05157508328269369,0.11364512813339048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04410708171335633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16080919121493786,0.15327254691118722,0.051566323049695516,0.0,0.0,0.05841148415080056,0.0,0.05862095553635894,0.0,0.07470673210337164,0.0,0.07045194878258056,0.0,0.0,0.06620505191909337,0.04614938833664487,0.0,0.0,0.12550630633002569
addiction,EuCleo,2020/02/03,"Holy F*#%!! I am dealing with serious electronic media addiction: Reddit, Fortnite (video game), cryptogambling, TV I'm not taking care of myself or doing stuff on my task list.

I am doing some things. Some inventory and processing of trauma (childhood and adult, thank you /r/cPTSD). But even that is taking a hit time-wise.

There's a lot of stuff I need to do, but first and foremost, I need to try to sober up a bit.",3.3597857142857137,5.423705550000001,4.35464285714286,84.19750000000002,74.75,7.571428571428572,23.92857142857143,8.418075326091056,1.5741071428571427,324,10,62,6,7,105,61,80,0.075,0.9,0.024,-0.4015,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,1,2,4,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,0,0,13,14,6,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,7,2,9,13,4,4,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,4,2,42,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558326910792269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562066248204227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23926895549178076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24194179722601744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15500201879355596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199616231080232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19951408798760528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34802020905482073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5372982931142359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3528959637064472,0.0,0.0,0.2160591543217689,0.0,0.0,0.15590904505500608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13684211088633355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15933035403701507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,throttlebottle05,2020/02/03,"Free webinar coming up - might be useful for some of you.  [https://drkjfoster.org/rwmc-webinar-registration28801094](https://drkjfoster.org/rwmc-webinar-registration28801094) 

Dr. Foster has a good YouTube video collection, so I think the webinar might be helpful. Hope it helps some of you.",17.313823529411767,23.779601264705878,11.325000000000005,29.00750000000001,51.05882352941178,8.105882352941178,26.14705882352941,8.841846274778883,2.610905882352941,249,6,26,4,4,68,28,34,0.0,0.599,0.401,0.9468,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,5,1,0,1,0,8,9,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,4,5,2,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,5,0,18,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2739518973729537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667457611614048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42633327269843496,0.0,0.0,0.3158723352951607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6747522789977953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20377870916289326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746730144968584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Qwerv9,2020/02/03,"Feeling absolutely terrible I've had a serious drug problem since I was about 15 years old, started as being really interested in psychedelics but that quickly turned into complete fascination with all types of drugs. I feel like for the past 5 years drugs have just been my life and I've not been able to focus on anything else. My first major problem started with benzo abuse as I started ordering etizolam from the clearnet and quickly fell in love with benzos as I felt like they turned me into a social god, which is a great feeling for me as I'm quite a shy/introverted guy by default.

I became seriously hooked on benzos at 17/18 and was doing shit tons of them, usually mixed with opiates too like heroin or morphine. It's really crazy that I'm still alive and I still feel some derealisation because how the f can I have survived all the times nodding out on midazolam/oxy etc when I was probably 2 missed breaths away from dying. I spent my 18th birthday being resuscitated from a heroin/xanax overdose and it's such a shameful, disturbing memory.

Recently though, I've been to rehab and am actually sort of getting things on track. I'm about 3 months clean from all benzos and opiates although I did have a small relapse on opiates a few weeks ago. 

The problem is, another devil has popped up now. Cocaine. The place where I live in the UK is fucking packed to the brim with cocaine and nearly everyone I know does it. Every weekend is the same, I go out for 'a couple of drinks' and come home at 8 in the morning having spent all the money in my bank account and am completely depressed for about a week after.

It's time for me to stop this shit before it gets a lot worse. I'm going to have to stop drinking alcohol completely as I can't psychically drink alcohol without getting insane coke cravings. 

Sorry for the wall of text...just wanted to vent and hear opinions from anyone who's been through the same shit who can give me some inspiration. There is so much more to life than doing horrible drugs in someones kitchen for hours on end. Hope everyone is doing well. Cheers",6.666860902255639,7.1178314786967425,7.011544486215537,74.40423402255641,65.04010025062658,9.657518796992482,34.419486215538846,9.516144504307137,3.23347192982456,1676,71,297,30,24,545,229,399,0.177,0.6859999999999999,0.13699999999999998,-0.9661,0,0,11,0,1,0,31.0,0,0,2,3,18,25,4,2,24,0,31,20,4,1,4,52,61,23,1,5,5,0,5,3,0,0,9,1,3,1,12,21,7,2,7,4,5,4,3,15,1,1,12,6,24,10,64,47,15,58,1,2,0,2,9,25,4,7,31,200,36,1,0.08272155404050703,0.09801151480938264,0.08072430401590712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332766652394444,0.17680836807658445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674076203663715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0578408339570551,0.0,0.06807279064214328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771962304810026,0.0,0.0,0.050426291549387416,0.0,0.0703899497581268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07125729413892902,0.2601959267041349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152982615671716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124795328200817,0.0,0.08585191304496016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07239018939156322,0.0,0.0,0.2431068916054936,0.3837229613269104,0.0,0.06910324380286957,0.0,0.0732667438218379,0.0,0.09225639921044483,0.0,0.0,0.06969647703049796,0.15808797968004706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16730601290990546,0.05909629473508625,0.07942566435085814,0.0,0.0,0.07036291160852981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647474375308536,0.12965579333979155,0.07935405230533152,0.09402513096036218,0.0,0.0,0.09120080536239873,0.0,0.08190734396430158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323320342307463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829764634058799,0.08216116815513555,0.08146406774175964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04546160274513052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685735997160025,0.12124071863130348,0.0,0.07304464774689289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703269070944729,0.0746594321866566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06602755522547249,0.0,0.0608098602837703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680235570234758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07896708347060656,0.0,0.0,0.08642641758704314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918782631411952,0.23746006628060265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08798455511943244,0.0,0.0,0.1059870914495964,0.0,0.08167755501236275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.254737459445721,0.06842812432326018,0.0,0.0,0.08432420697335502,0.07008970429693244,0.0,0.0,0.0926000072349683,0.17565222514611875,0.0,0.13212307982507282,0.13831784640771938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05495652481168433,0.0,0.08127350684452786,0.0,0.09647120678027113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799545934077142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911061049624917,0.0,0.048791315814653166,0.0,0.13270848192814788,0.0,0.07437661154167985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974062616950896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430033066734988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10653993733880564
addiction,TropicalBaton,2020/02/03,"Cutting down on coffee is hard Hey everyone, I've been sober from all substances from exception of caffeine and nicotine for over a month. My prior use was: Ecstasy, weed, nitrous, and serious alcohol use. My doctor said I shouldn't quit nicotine for now, because of my other mental conditions: Bipolar with psychotic features and Anxiety disorder with panic attacks. 

But getting to the point he said I should cut back on my caffeine intake, I was drinking more than a liter of coffe prior to that, now I'm supposed to drink only 300ml, it's been really hard, even more knowing that it won't fuck up my life just by drinking coffee, but my anxiety will sure increase.

Anyone has any tips to reduce the cravings ?",7.215438931297707,7.931539351145041,7.280219465648855,72.03269561068704,63.88549618320611,9.908778625954199,37.74904580152672,9.827888789773867,4.013358015267175,569,28,90,11,8,183,91,131,0.11800000000000001,0.805,0.077,0.1469,0,0,4,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,5,7,4,1,4,0,10,8,0,2,2,16,18,5,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,4,4,2,0,0,5,5,4,0,1,3,0,1,2,6,0,0,6,4,9,1,21,8,4,13,0,0,0,1,4,6,1,0,6,62,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17402683021416082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11073703410895096,0.0,0.24914487124093734,0.0,0.0,0.1138617713628789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185254426722432,0.0,0.1252141912691512,0.0,0.09926597675505837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18662916927744475,0.16667401653655062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.47856469927934997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107554527119457,0.0,0.0,0.15560094976252847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15054329601667954,0.08507737116474345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917459688049016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949280747575904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11501896750861974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16410479023587415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12997762795596074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12384743754725185,0.0,0.19105808564565727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539367821887896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17320077552670698,0.0,0.0,0.1043197093511003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30979695961193976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15347511947444134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2812835881999835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,lying_cat88,2020/02/03,"My girlfriend is about to relapse after 18 months sober. She’s an addict of codeine and about to hit the 18 month mark. She told me last night that as soon as she gets her 18 month chip, she’s planning on relapsing. 
She suffers from depression, anxiety, and recently psychosis. 
Her argument is that she was more functioning when she high. And part of me agrees with her. 
When she was using, she was at college (UK) studying and gained good results, going in for every lesson, and leaving the the house on days off with me to do activities together. 

Since sober, she has attempted university but couldn’t manage it (which is absolutely understandable and fine) but has since locked her self away, rarely leaving the house. She sleeps until 14:00 (when I finish work). I encourage to do things together but she is content in sitting in silence without any stimulation during evenings. 

Due to antipsychotic medication she has put on weight (which in itself is not a problem) but she feels worthless because of it; believes people stare at her if she leaves the house - which has prevented her from going to NA meetings. 

In short: she wants to use again so she can function again, and I don’t know what I can say or do to help her stay sober.",7.625283400809717,7.836823377192989,6.9833333333333325,76.23346153846154,63.03508771929825,10.173279352226722,35.082321187584355,9.851270322608157,3.3219483130904184,982,40,177,18,13,304,135,228,0.049,0.89,0.061,0.4497,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,5,10,7,0,0,7,0,19,4,1,4,0,29,30,20,0,4,8,0,2,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,10,9,1,1,4,0,0,3,4,4,0,0,4,4,32,3,35,24,2,36,0,3,1,0,31,14,0,2,17,127,42,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388028611759337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658525219203662,0.0,0.0974031482887862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11962587132457035,0.0,0.0,0.07761603604959506,0.0,0.0,0.14345148487777387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211398358263336,0.0,0.10966469158217107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409685097644022,0.0,0.10727666277879636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06437926094868157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665219697945602,0.0,0.14472327291884746,0.10679402853813663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08534315127085425,0.13452567605751722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4407472849190653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06997439805944414,0.10378673223158716,0.0,0.4044558397970245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12826637339939084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3048883994351053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948572999428753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13788038578360556,0.0,0.0882710071002579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218326690203098,0.0,0.12799662392480193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12571791142074065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125381717547202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13282756871576,0.0,0.0,0.2106488342129476,0.0,0.12741678487930952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13571133023899432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458896103368073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216643337517375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13254964088819474,0.0,0.21993554927445827,0.0,0.0,0.07509948502693932,0.0,0.0,0.1550473443634745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12273659484414486,0.0,0.09269399442451426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Shkodran_anichebe,2020/02/03,"Anyone quit taking drugs when drinking? I’m addicted to taking drugs on nights out when drinking. I think it’s the only way I can enjoy myself when out (even though it’s definitely not), and all my social circle do it too. 

Has anyone here quit a cocaine habit when there on nights out?",1.5782142857142851,4.230184678571433,2.9121428571428574,88.43285714285715,86.14285714285714,4.628571428571429,16.92857142857143,6.1826913282559595,-0.14079285714285694,226,5,42,2,7,73,39,56,0.0,0.885,0.115,0.7399,0,0,5,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,9,1,0,0,2,0,3,5,0,0,1,7,7,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,6,7,1,12,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,6,30,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21085229523988716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27048232118665444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3789486414087554,0.4486029599321666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12774962922668934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3630161540514004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14710179711696045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4114440451351143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971635406511538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29084994421355304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393334284286472,0.19003051372503574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15352484080487508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,LILWEEZY7049,2020/02/03,Extreme anxiety after relapse I relapsed today iv coke after like 6 months and Im having really bad anxiety. Ive struggled with addiction for 15 years and i Really feeling like ill never get it right. Im really holding back in getting more coke right because i cant stand this feeling,3.020969696969697,5.773773309090912,5.363181818181818,72.93810606060606,79.54545454545455,8.03030303030303,30.984848484848484,8.841846274778883,3.517484848484848,232,12,35,6,6,81,40,55,0.214,0.6409999999999999,0.145,-0.6213,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,7,7,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,3,2,1,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,4,2,5,7,1,11,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,9,18,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22400095692875469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3143796639307963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15799962156352876,0.17156524635577722,0.1252572619961273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20779133710495964,0.14679326686919492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147071719491442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4439022220656965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20077199137711085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16401029164995656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15847702304334696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3949027126724393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3509535632127382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21480984300940567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19476877658059893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132320863127797
addiction,TonyTheTiger94,2020/02/03,"I love my girlfriend although shes and addict, but i feel hopeless  I've been dating a girl that's a meth addict(8 months), she injects. . I'm 25 she is 23..to be honest she is such a good person in many ways....... Shes has never treated me bad or stolen from me..or anything like that she always treats me with respect, calls me allot to see how i'm doing and we always are in contact with each other daily. I take her out to eat i buy her things like makeup perfumes i.. treat her well, just like any girl i have ever dated. She also takes me out and buys me things when she has money ..she is such a sweetheart in many ways....i care about her so much..we always talk with each other and spend allot of time together..she has been in detox 3 times since being with me and every single time within a week she comes up with some excuse why she has to leave usually being that shes in allot of pain..i'm guessing its the withdrawal symptoms ..and i'm guessing she wants to use again due to the symptoms she tells me she get seizures and tremors and collapses when she doesn't use..and i feel powerless a part of me feels like i can help her recover but its gotten to the point that i think i have to leave her i feel like i'm useless and no matter how much i love her i cant do anything.... she told me shes going to detox again this week without me asking her..I've never asked her to go she always goes on her on initiative but never ends well...i'm starting to feel like maybe i should leave her and let her do this alone because the longer i stay the more it hurts me thinking i cant do anything for her even if i wanted too..",2.362561002178648,3.691534979411767,3.5852287581699365,91.78704793028324,75.67647058823529,5.978213507625274,21.710239651416124,6.238725200709706,0.2042461873638346,1263,31,277,8,27,411,169,340,0.079,0.725,0.196,0.9925,1,1,1,0,0,1,50.0,1,0,0,0,16,21,0,0,11,0,29,8,0,3,4,52,60,22,0,4,7,0,5,6,2,1,5,0,0,3,13,21,1,0,7,0,4,3,8,4,1,0,4,7,61,17,33,51,10,37,0,3,1,2,48,12,0,8,26,188,74,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932354648535822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09179200312118672,0.0,0.07087587526840905,0.29498278161756064,0.0,0.0,0.0602701605537718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21880017261494966,0.0,0.165710655923199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400077791369074,0.054026879125804166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049921938655343,0.0,0.09036227474378376,0.0,0.0,0.07634527741357497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068869244236956,0.0,0.0,0.07849820779556775,0.0,0.0,0.05853803716105401,0.08016920828441937,0.07467301330959847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240652013754296,0.1899478391728484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04630453452949625,0.0,0.1007388056725957,0.07433706183475845,0.0,0.0,0.19526773164718936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059405560404803985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487823514206976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815331454762365,0.0,0.09062825708703444,0.0,0.25979533490793216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599806765246321,0.0,0.0,0.1797100051954005,0.08903885862334786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707421195477996,0.0,0.13030373125854852,0.0,0.20506640888681352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09430656806098693,0.0,0.0,0.09597561684018738,0.0,0.0,0.07738665553764193,0.0,0.0,0.08378222021479456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062513664446173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331409643712315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06273143925891295,0.09446578320669716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18423710284692668,0.13327463215138974,0.07123592540595153,0.07746488302180657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776116910231905,0.11357864085782556,0.0,0.0,0.1550393078995361,0.0,0.0,0.08468796640589214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15309247857653893,0.0976113525146023,0.0,0.10455032249696447,0.07034887608349404,0.1421842632444803,0.0,0.1593746467599616,0.0,0.07997309276732847,0.0,0.0,0.0854343446465147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,jbridges300,2020/02/03,"Demi Lovato was amazing singing the national anthem before Super Bowl 54. Demi truly gave a beautiful performance to open the Super Bowl tonight! Seeing someone return from addiction in the public eye along with being saved from an overdose, was my favorite part of the great game. So happy and proud of her. We DO RECOVER!
God Bless everyone who still struggles. Never give up!",5.050194805194806,8.233189863636365,5.608354978354981,71.6468181818182,74.60606060606061,8.013852813852813,29.12554112554113,8.841846274778883,3.277063203463204,305,13,41,7,7,98,57,66,0.026000000000000002,0.542,0.4320000000000001,0.9905,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,0,0,4,2,9,0,1,6,0,4,2,1,0,1,7,7,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,2,3,8,9,3,1,8,1,0,2,0,7,4,0,0,4,28,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32950750016799224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572005954449989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2888219315834261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28995488097430344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33324219614980205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3217608875276224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331211813246287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3273176133175529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408617097526343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561035167901028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413848491141484,0.0,0.0,0.31598728573298346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,CassieKitty1121,2020/02/03,"I feel like I lost a brother My brother (28) has been addicted to drugs since he was in middle school. He’s been in and out of rehab with no luck. He’s always been easily influenced. It doesn’t help that he lived with our mother growing up, who was also an addict. Our oldest brother and I lived with our grandparents to keep from the lifestyle she lived. 

Two years ago, my brother’s addiction was getting worse. He missed my wedding, which is unlike our family and we haven’t talked in those two years. No apology, no explanation, nothing. I get it. He’s battling. In those two years, he overdosed twice that I know of and almost killed someone because he passed out driving. 

A few days ago, randomly, I get a message from my brother apologizing for missing my wedding and saying that he needs support. I ignored his message, gathering my thoughts and emotions, as it has been two years since we spoke or saw each other. He messaged me three more times, then finally said “I need your help”. 

I never responded because I knew what he would ask next. He wanted money for his habit. He’s never asked me for money ever, and I don’t know how to deal with this. I don’t know how to be there for him without feeding into it, so all I know how to do is distance myself now. I feel like I don’t have him as a brother anymore. I need advice.",3.226094020048393,5.042406771863122,4.327025578983758,85.33231507086074,74.43726235741445,6.7590044936052545,27.54389906671276,7.520522993642371,1.6030775665399246,1043,41,201,13,22,340,141,263,0.10099999999999999,0.8170000000000001,0.08199999999999999,-0.6003,1,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,6,1,0,1,8,10,2,0,6,0,20,6,0,4,4,45,45,16,1,5,2,7,2,2,0,1,5,3,0,0,14,17,1,2,8,0,2,3,11,6,0,6,13,6,37,4,28,30,4,28,0,3,1,0,51,9,0,4,18,137,51,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33302302108053616,0.0,0.09950525362540304,0.18052895664609697,0.0,0.10196614624801828,0.0,0.0,0.08143190527162446,0.08472914739491118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10098612618363033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903910799624556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414694524569632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06567070893201314,0.10498031336804543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11808828293151348,0.0,0.0,0.11454292156932885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09210935808545552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09599448257842053,0.0,0.10297470717065904,0.14549204871658686,0.0,0.1115477206028038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15960295891259088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13650647555806475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09050950565917404,0.11265772007583935,0.0,0.22384827173950209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09949614506636044,0.0,0.2697482683842586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115741427129593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22651276685477295,0.15707223668254575,0.0,0.10829535351660567,0.0,0.0,0.0977068208568913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09686185397925584,0.0809778026332656,0.0,0.10305548681973416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16846653486912386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627862980084662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555333604948526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818455801445253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08084014750572041,0.05937679163956911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3978850812541542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06006085939290937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815866730183756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10377154668714396,0.0723357699683058,0.0,0.0,0.2622958651307226
addiction,mosley09957,2020/02/03,My life is gross and I need to clean it up I smoke ciggaretts and over eat it feels like I'm digging my own grave I have a headache almost constantly I feel it more everytime I light up and the food has been a problem all my life ik if I buckle down I can clean up. It's like I'm staring at a pool full of all these great things I can do for my self I'm just too scared to jump. I smoked some weed tonight which I usually dont do cause it makes me anxious and depressed about my life it reminds me that I'm the only one who can do anything about it I dont wanna die cause of stupid things I never get to Express these things i dont have very many close people in my life I'm too socially awkward when i talk to people i can feel the weight of them stepping on my chest and it gets hard to breath I want to go see a doctor for that but I dont have the money but long story short i feel that i need to make a deep change in my self and be the man I know I can be THANKS FOR READIND,0.6637268847795177,1.955085846846849,2.308283546704601,99.32417496443813,80.17117117117118,5.3944049312470375,19.792318634423896,5.750287758089431,-0.4228864864864868,766,18,197,4,19,251,116,222,0.079,0.833,0.08800000000000001,0.6023,0,0,2,0,0,1,2.0,0,0,1,0,6,11,1,2,10,0,20,10,2,4,3,30,40,10,2,6,4,0,6,2,0,0,5,0,2,3,18,7,3,0,5,1,1,3,5,7,0,1,1,9,32,4,25,37,6,22,0,2,2,0,8,13,0,3,8,126,50,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11155592146001944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12585583420548846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167674574094796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288870537503332,0.1178516193195455,0.0,0.0,0.12038912661451552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09595288273012023,0.0,0.1156207043864623,0.0,0.0,0.1140276424386317,0.0,0.0,0.5222628828967577,0.0,0.0,0.11399503162069373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22531867228868224,0.0795876874673996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13471125515604576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164089311625212,0.0,0.06331397569424706,0.0,0.0,0.1228243027163645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997969140753929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06122522312550941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31475432039780177,0.10885362007896146,0.0,0.0,0.09858983654955157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14872728033161484,0.11294708950524948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652106531350111,0.08592233179180392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07549084782988015,0.08472845149490907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544682699702711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065994499646584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11153574615524467,0.0,0.08877528684314626,0.0,0.2324392279854345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11356327263183197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895430439063969,0.0,0.10256667018918668,0.0,0.0,0.2220374089753162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12269676534934977,0.09192071513282744,0.06570950025863988,0.0,0.0,0.13566116346734644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,partially_sad_potato,2020/02/03,"[17/M] I want to stop smoking (english not my first language, sorry for grammar)

I really wanted to stop smoking, so i bought an electric cigarette cause i tought that it might be a good start point  to stop doing it but my family didn´t actually liked it thay said things like ""that's not an option"" ""you can quit if you have self control"" ""the devil is making you take this decitions"" ""if you pray to god and have faith you can fix yourself"".

They also blamed the fact that i was \[kinda\] diagnosed with depression and that i stopped thaking my medication some time ago.

I just want to know if im actually doing the right thing or if im actually as stupid as they say.

How do i keep improving myself and finally quit this habit?

i just feel so stupid, i don't know if i actually made the right choice.",3.9039029535864977,5.359822069620254,5.004493670886077,82.63412447257386,71.9746835443038,8.30464135021097,27.090717299578056,8.841846274778883,1.9943147679324889,629,22,126,12,12,207,98,158,0.183,0.68,0.13699999999999998,-0.8834,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,5,2,4,6,8,2,0,7,0,12,2,0,5,1,36,25,16,0,8,11,0,1,2,0,1,2,2,0,1,11,4,0,6,3,0,1,0,3,4,0,1,4,3,22,4,9,19,1,12,3,1,0,0,10,3,0,10,11,81,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.4814593880912494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933601065120548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863724720439497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267071020847311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13833951483779994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10623503171718274,0.12519041496157285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11627667898426375,0.0,0.0623658602430601,0.0,0.0,0.13511608325366709,0.0,0.10491538075288273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345414595411256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26646292697899265,0.0,0.0,0.1096328085935431,0.0,0.0,0.13557202942873858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12051819030955067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11671000427638376,0.08233232235283165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12425496346854838,0.0,0.13084729153778235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165988784669474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623806459881977,0.0,0.0,0.07901659979756306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106682711616005,0.11732731297098972,0.09808719947989973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12867351170054395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13807224281490174,0.08730271701387878,0.0,0.0,0.41248064325483214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09273848674042992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16388704201302967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192221839364066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2182524582527908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,bob-4820,2020/02/03,I love methadone and can't stop I'm currently having a breakdown because I was an inch away from using methadone for the first time in a couple weeks and at the last second changed my mind im almost scared of what I'll do if I have the option to use it again in fact I'm terrified I don't wanna be an addict and I don't wanna die can someone please give me some advice,2.473703703703705,3.4218177901234554,3.951543209876544,90.77694444444448,74.80246913580247,6.387654320987655,23.37654320987655,6.42735559955562,0.4765209876543208,295,8,66,2,6,98,59,81,0.083,0.7709999999999999,0.146,0.6029,1,0,2,0,0,1,0.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,7,0,9,2,0,2,1,14,15,4,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,1,0,7,1,10,13,1,12,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,4,7,43,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394840874299166,0.0,0.214669167149251,0.0,0.0,0.21997821114937285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20639698911437548,0.0,0.0,0.13391514703507873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323927592517954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.243072209977354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279935963047891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18686005582314102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21073747951284533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237292554498612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17906886533347835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982701589118358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218146036695205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411431359748546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21993842726882526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861345097601753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836626705051662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12809742144114133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3794667045417033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17621438464104053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,mynameishound,2020/02/04,"Questions to Ask Recovering Addicts Hello this is probably a little different from the normal post. I am taking a visit to a recovery group and I wanted to get some questions that can help drive our discussion about addiction.

I have a sister that is recovering from years of substance abuse and I didn’t feel comfortable asking her to share some insight so I was hoping the subreddit could give me some ideas. Thank you.",4.302240259740259,7.240894727272733,5.174139610389614,75.10978084415588,75.75324675324677,8.525324675324676,27.806818181818183,9.188382445141503,3.060923376623377,342,14,54,9,8,111,58,77,0.053,0.772,0.174,0.8214,1,0,0,0,1,0,4.0,1,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,6,0,8,2,0,0,0,14,17,3,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,5,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,1,9,4,8,14,3,5,0,0,0,0,15,1,0,6,1,40,12,0,0.0,0.2289529563338092,0.0,0.4213113313060699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36129898365968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15428315116329824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20189039880036205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09770588267777272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009577879656406,0.185369493652945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12952195788746873,0.0,0.0,0.19192686065042555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21813982273335772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19367314769091548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893301648855275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18506658737337495,0.0,0.2083409948649134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4329368888125458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452893565463634,0.0,0.0,0.17790566476115094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11397554686209165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12443759117884395
addiction,Arten2x,2020/02/04,"Unhealthy obsession with adult games. Hello guys,

I've  been browsing the subs for the past few hours deciding where to post  this because I'm not sure. Feel free to remove it or move it if I'm in  the wrong place.

Let me preface  the rest of this post by saying that this is probably a laughable  matter, especially taking into account what other people go through and  this most certainly isn't easy for me to write but I really don't know  anymore.

So I've had a rough  couple of years with a series of deaths in the family that were months  apart, which brought on quite a lot of stress and financial strain but  things have been clearing up recently. I also lost the connection with  most of my friends. During that time when things were quiet I discovered  a few adult (porn) that I really enjoyed and they've helped me relax,  and them having updates it allowed me to get invested.

The  issue started manifesting when those type of games started adding more  ""group oriented"", content (NTR and such). I quit playing them of course  as I'm more of a vanilla kind of a guy when it comes to these issues.  But I'm constantly being drawn back to them and it makes me feel  horrible like it's actually happening to me (they're pixel character for  f's sake). It's been a few months and whenever something reminds of  those games I get anxious and start feeling down and unmotivated which  has led to me feeling hollow, I cannot find enjoyment in anything that I  try to occupy myself with.

This  has extended to impact anything that has a sexual component in it when  it comes to entertainment material (comics, games etc.) I have no such  issues when viewing regular adult material, also I'm quite able to  discern that this has nothing to do with real life so it doesn't cause  me issues with normal human interaction.

I'm  reaching a breaking point and I feel totally dazed and embarrassed, I  could never have imagined that I would have this kind of a issue.",7.592317073170732,7.310045054200543,7.754551490514902,72.32776219512196,63.22764227642278,11.065636856368565,34.981165311653115,10.577609850970193,3.691005311653116,1551,61,276,34,20,505,200,369,0.113,0.8009999999999999,0.086,-0.8591,1,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,3,4,13,19,0,4,18,0,25,2,0,4,5,54,50,26,1,4,6,0,6,1,1,1,1,2,0,6,34,20,0,0,10,8,3,7,7,7,0,0,8,9,25,13,44,38,11,41,0,1,1,1,20,12,0,5,20,189,59,1,0.09422101900865046,0.0,0.09194612300705084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506970297202024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10644293253297543,0.09344193291352093,0.0,0.0,0.1550717409860196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245014770123889,0.0,0.05743625865979271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967909408960708,0.0,0.1623261299535392,0.0,0.10181944891811684,0.0,0.07522781684431251,0.10425376542064853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050813423962083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882319126540504,0.0,0.23820489117815866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611630441622473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07279492556074015,0.0,0.09845318720574396,0.0,0.053547976426851183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865872444521408,0.08331933593965579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06315436294765757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09278872434456112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4917113222789011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19623338435293114,0.05178140795463232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09634737560569064,0.06655109217238159,0.04603163060012418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285337243545603,0.08010334098562966,0.0,0.0,0.06289326182647728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15041263690349865,0.10014203203326408,0.0,0.0,0.0726690584010453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09231659361194154,0.09040760889373524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994462397428267,0.06532099104792227,0.0,0.09844091094239847,0.0,0.0890693178879232,0.0,0.1804753822300473,0.0,0.10158619450461387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30064695483052434,0.0,0.10724414723803988,0.12072079488804036,0.0,0.09303188936261374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07492833607047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07253594365536231,0.0,0.0,0.2000703666217386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792985893481563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880219535569531,0.0,0.07084248034400976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12519251672654727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054941033889307614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639698870767512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693190857064449,0.1030158932225994,0.0,0.060675247084118415
addiction,lost9999999999,2020/02/04,Lost I’m so disgusted with myself. I’ve really fucked everything up today. I’ve been abusing my adderall. My husband took them from me so that he could hold them and I wouldn’t run out in a week. Today I found where he hid them and took extra. I hate my fucking self so bad right now. I want to kill myself. Such a fuck up. I know I have a problem.,-1.1277090909090894,0.9487938533333348,1.3864242424242406,97.26654545454548,97.13333333333333,4.327272727272727,16.151515151515152,6.1124844417494595,-0.4536666666666669,269,7,62,3,11,91,52,75,0.39799999999999996,0.588,0.015,-0.9874,0,0,0,0,0,1,9.0,0,0,3,1,6,9,6,0,3,0,4,3,0,0,0,11,15,5,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,2,0,0,3,1,9,0,0,5,0,15,0,7,8,1,13,0,1,0,3,7,6,3,0,4,39,16,0,0.0,0.2207838779488145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555871373295271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487783034621862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16747147545323687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20431353244079012,0.0,0.5168083726831161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18397337890005455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20615895397386705,0.0,0.10240826265525206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20341345659386165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.178303384023728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11937495868861635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15913438588440684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19439453460316267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35325938129111295,0.0,0.4140639092139824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990888097929094,0.0,0.1494716887795299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,askanaut,2020/02/04,I desperately want drugs. Anything to help with the cravings? I'm one month sober. At this point I think about doing drugs every 2 minutes. My psychiatrist prescribed me some loxapine to help with the cravings but it doesn't do a thing. Do you know of something that helps? Chemical or otherwise.,2.7038888888888906,5.730794111111113,2.9943518518518566,85.61708333333334,89.37037037037037,5.662962962962964,27.12037037037037,7.1686216300943375,1.846192592592593,238,11,41,4,8,73,45,54,0.034,0.805,0.161,0.7013,0,0,3,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,4,2,0,0,0,8,8,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,5,0,7,8,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,2,1,27,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21322727447457185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6009758115189894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21831321586061506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.521032365931364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14240129654077432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068208972797813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755811422018038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24494479486450474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19947724154936008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17214264157013973,0.16602864435070613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15283109728640634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Appex1,2020/02/04,"Addicted to smartphone and screens in general It's hard to believe, but I'm at the point in life where I'm safe to say I'm addicted to something. Before I used to think you could only be addicted to substances, but I'm a screen addict. It's something that is so hard to control because technically I could lock all my devices in a locker and not open it, but I often get calls from my family and I use my computer for school, so it's so hard not to waste time on mindless nonsense when it's right there in front of you. I think it's because there's a big FOMO for example when I'm on Tinder, I fear missing out on somebody that I'm probably not gonna meet anyway or I'm afraid I'm gonna miss out on any YouTuber that I'm following and then I realize I already wasted 6 hours on bullshit that I often can't even remember what was afterwards.

This has been going on for a decade when I got my first device, and it's sucking the life out of me. I have lots of books here that I want to read, but my reptile brain always prefers to watch some screens.",4.698537426698858,4.385391251121078,5.969058295964127,82.82025870989999,69.22421524663677,9.193377026560883,31.95205243187305,8.841846274778883,2.415679130734736,831,33,179,13,13,281,120,223,0.14300000000000002,0.818,0.039,-0.9683,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,0,2,14,6,1,2,6,0,9,7,1,3,1,35,32,17,0,4,8,0,3,0,0,2,6,1,0,0,14,9,0,2,5,2,0,3,4,5,0,1,3,8,20,1,31,24,3,30,0,2,4,0,5,19,1,5,8,112,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5564336451928158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408154182394101,0.0,0.10617767846662232,0.0,0.0,0.08677585441860414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15557378824400395,0.0,0.10858255487072324,0.14376726812873072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14244951062852604,0.13029909020199912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14311998770240342,0.20376460307273825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428197542474553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12029474648523925,0.14359123145789934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10854084619821663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06666840622845056,0.0,0.07252092789391243,0.0,0.10205746794709178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3429273583124945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12566533483767225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18026253385269936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848530613693498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704944057056704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062807992256895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13757989709937726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12763964742232628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14455172091868332,0.10897407155607727,0.0,0.1014767096717519,0.0,0.12914318956576867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19647330452284484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16352841129979034,0.0,0.0,0.07440756911787882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2204196987610254,0.0,0.0,0.07526480335422746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,CatInTheScat,2020/02/04,Opioid addiction help anonymous Are there any resources to help with opioid addiction without having to be there physically? I'm looking for something with totally anonymity.,10.963333333333333,14.02006774074074,9.341666666666667,52.13250000000005,56.77777777777778,11.325925925925928,50.53703703703704,11.20814326018867,7.357014814814812,147,10,14,4,2,45,21,27,0.0,0.816,0.184,0.6597,0,0,3,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,6,4,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,12,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7172527987794308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237112187083969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4410039792197733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762523639818739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532575604870583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31711581958327656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,mamphylilley,2020/02/04,"After serious drug addiction I have zero pleasure in life I’m coming close to 2 years sober and I’m not doing good. My cravings are pretty intense and I think the main reason they are so intense is because my pleasure receptors and are totally fucked. Nothing makes me happy anymore. I don’t get excited about anything, no matter what it is. The only thing that used to make me happy was doing drugs, getting drugs, or really anything that involved drugs. 

I can’t figure out what to do about it. Does anybody have any advice when it comes to this? Does your brain ever go back to normal?",3.2132662912308945,5.6709675752212405,4.393354786806114,81.86127916331456,76.787610619469,6.232984714400643,26.201930812550287,7.348242739294969,1.6499451327433632,468,18,79,6,11,153,79,113,0.133,0.73,0.13699999999999998,-0.3083,0,0,4,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,1,0,6,8,1,0,2,0,13,8,1,4,2,19,25,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,9,7,0,0,3,0,0,3,4,2,0,1,1,0,10,6,10,24,2,11,0,0,0,1,3,3,1,1,5,57,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148853203209373,0.0,0.13342929588090272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09285465753576774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354150380958562,0.0,0.0,0.22472828909315146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049939701064773,0.0,0.08323600456443311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15242835249702472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352412710892321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23898129128591575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6333911374228848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351193877311704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12623280285962238,0.14267729359219142,0.0,0.07760114802536179,0.1145266970497512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29070742700277896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964451226644078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18228846901288204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337842085566688,0.13101772855909044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10384792669106636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13891441909916075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747363485008014,0.1403900568940593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071382030127312,0.0874919338469503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11793024557188413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08792991154170023
addiction,srirachahotsex,2020/02/04,"Nearly overdosed on caffeine to get a buzz. fml So after a tragic event, i blew my 322 days sober from alcohol. i had used other drugs throughout that time, but no prescription pills or anything that i knew would spin me out. i was proud of that. now that i’ve started to drink again, i’m feeling less in control; more cravings, thoughts about drugs, fighting impulses to pick up, etc. i’m aware of this but don’t necessarily care.

last week, in an effort to avoid “bad drugs”, i decided to have an 8oz redbull and two over the counter energy pills. i felt worse than i did after eating too much adderall. racing heart, aching joints, eyes buzzing in my sockets. i’m making this post to tell you (if you’re as dumb as me) to NOT over do caffeine no matter how hard your jonesing. it fucking blows. 

sending love and strength to all. one day at a time.",2.4877320359281434,4.707847095808383,3.036313622754492,91.8840512724551,78.04191616766467,5.6121257485029945,25.40755988023952,6.6274283507984215,0.8439823353293416,663,25,136,6,16,206,123,167,0.17300000000000001,0.698,0.129,-0.8198,0,1,5,0,2,0,26.0,0,2,0,4,6,10,3,1,6,0,7,12,2,5,1,22,21,10,0,2,5,0,3,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,8,3,3,2,5,1,0,1,4,6,0,2,6,4,13,4,27,14,5,24,0,1,1,2,6,10,2,2,12,82,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17492078362385546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13469210775621998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13666333943441206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166879464966957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18357751369243652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21111606520042348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603410081645502,0.5694395730808629,0.1674822874506782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18254296241472326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275993721775457,0.0,0.15715545139899256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15131661753621284,0.08551440266124882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14662231513282398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19395786450720426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13341848472552187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14772475449063996,0.0,0.10925557351981692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032132334694585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11091167480183599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15675718526218166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11585132235567935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14306078802311573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12994114217114744,0.19088258401700428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598885068442202,0.0,0.0,0.14136425287963245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13129170245126062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16680070135250394,0.1162713436271986,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,chewiebby,2020/02/04,"adderall So this is so hard to say even tho its anonymous and online but I had a veryyy bad adderall addiction and i cut it cold turkey, was the hardest thing but moving states helped alot. I’m back in the state where the addiction started tho after a horrible horrible breakup and i’m already back at taking them. I cant risk being away from school because I’m already a dropout and this is the only school that accepts me (been to 10+ schools) and I just am in desperate need of cold turkey tips again. I havent eaten in days and keep theowing up.",2.2008599508599542,4.4686974234234205,3.3346437346437376,89.12786240786241,79.27027027027026,6.198525798525798,26.30712530712531,7.348242739294969,1.3984162162162166,438,18,87,6,11,141,75,111,0.184,0.7709999999999999,0.045,-0.9525,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,1,10,4,1,1,8,0,9,3,0,0,0,13,17,12,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,6,6,1,1,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,4,4,7,1,11,12,1,16,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,1,6,59,13,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3951038131344765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3999521536857302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702581542968472,0.2786874387032625,0.15130757467719955,0.11046743396992408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11686916159472314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969128810420518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623337098897015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214650915923388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16107287731112147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19260365437055693,0.0,0.13436917606713786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378227372239923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14411003102357708,0.0,0.5502000148114967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12826543447079264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13625168495081408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039168634690095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,rasputinette,2020/02/04,"Trying to get off sugar Hi folks, 

I am trying to stop eating sugar. I am actually pretty good at avoiding it -- except at breakfast. I don't live alone, and in the morning it's almost like I'm operating at a subsentient level. It's so easy to eat whatever my housemate bakes - after all, that croissant is right in front of me - or to go on autopilot and heat up a frozen meal that has white rice. 

Does anyone have any tips for this? It's especially bad on the mornings when I wake up early for work because I'm running on limited brainpower then and also under a time crunch.

Thank you!",4.4004487179487155,5.293497025641024,6.0487927350427375,77.74447115384619,70.19658119658119,8.585042735042737,28.30021367521368,8.841846274778883,2.235513675213675,460,16,87,8,8,158,87,117,0.084,0.779,0.136,0.742,1,2,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,2,3,5,0,1,5,0,6,8,1,0,1,10,11,8,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,7,3,7,3,0,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,0,3,7,3,21,11,1,23,0,0,1,0,2,14,0,2,7,55,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.22397161078117428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22982414764043185,0.23770628279628106,0.0,0.18354148811573048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15607673154117482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604808478464588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19163379427152372,0.13990901354580734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20084840024867567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.469698257781133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119911085991739,0.0,0.13043754475079405,0.19250464138372406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121284738846814,0.0,0.2026642114076483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23349726413654906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19600287459180796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918831709816622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21130476306446186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383089417731825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.311648565083513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16708822018774064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,whiskeyneckface,2020/02/04,"Rats in the cage of cocaine I heard of this study for the rats in the cage of cocaine when I looked into why I kept having any addiction to things that gave me any kinda dopamine fix, Nothing has helped. I dropped alcohol for a little, but I just kept  hyped up the sex, pills, gym and I just hiked up the money I make. I want to move???? I don’t have people here. I’m only 23, but have been drinking since 11, sex since 9 and drugs since maybe 14. I have moved a lot in my life. Every time I move I normally change personalities for better or worse. I told myself this town will work cause I will make it work. Mostly it’s just been me in my house drinking after taking pills and sitting on the couch. I have self discipline, but something breaks me down when I’m alone at night. Does anyone have any advice for this situation?",2.5969642857142863,4.238019053571431,3.4888095238095254,91.42285714285713,75.72619047619048,6.2285714285714295,20.92857142857143,6.868970318607317,0.25550714285714315,643,15,140,6,14,205,102,168,0.049,0.917,0.034,-0.5122,0,1,7,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,3,6,1,0,0,8,0,12,10,0,3,0,22,24,9,0,2,7,0,0,0,0,2,6,1,1,2,7,4,3,3,0,3,1,3,1,0,0,0,7,2,21,1,20,15,2,23,0,0,1,2,6,12,0,4,5,83,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14495252758469385,0.0,0.1299328014095767,0.0,0.14210017828933236,0.0,0.13771263856311172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712642459340738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09297289384109987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11759759004607345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13659267248179394,0.14066035955640244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11635941138808555,0.0,0.0,0.2605120486570534,0.15419830467143436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11202955968557164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912428305835306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15342487043340294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09391779284559904,0.0,0.13326682762627826,0.0,0.0,0.11165792166600837,0.0,0.0,0.11304290792767507,0.0,0.0,0.17751162731644576,0.0,0.13358218296511867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4239653315655362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477955012052175,0.1302784136524774,0.12758442884385066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10112660751496813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09218185765933846,0.11610075127779312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13871249954908935,0.0,0.0,0.3299724590680486,0.1494593149124468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023636954362634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09997385732428672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833667839205273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753352305885043,0.0,0.0,0.12705467700603754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07842677076494707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11998110123494304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936016112337099,0.0,0.13550367720708054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,One-Tomatillo,2020/02/04,"Friend is addicted to Ambien (took me a while to figure out) Hi guys, not sure why I'm writing this post except that this issue has been bugging me. Basically, I have an acquaintance/friend, let's call her ""Sally,"" who let it slip a couple times that she uses Ambien every day. She works night shifts at a hospital and  would have easy access to prescriptions. It's clear from the way she mentioned her Ambien use that she's already completely justified it to herself due to having ""insomnia"" and needing to sleep.

I do understand insomnia is a real problem for people. But you're not supposed to take Ambien for chronic, long-term use (longer than 2 weeks is considered excessive, apparently). I'm under the impression that Sally has been taking this drug for months, if not years, to cope with her work schedule and keep her job. But I can't help but wonder what the long term effects are going to be for her if she keeps up this lifestyle??

I've basically let the friendship go at this point due to Sally's odd behavior, such as sleeping all day (even on days when she's not working), not answering calls, and never calling back when she says she will due to sleeping, feeling sick/groggy, or having severe headaches. When we did manage to talk on the phone or in person, she just seems really sluggish and ""zombied-out."" I used to think that it was because she's just a naturally calm person, but when I finally put two-and-two together, I realized it's because she's hung over from taking Ambien the night before. The drug is constantly in her bloodstream!

I honestly don't understand how someone could justify the daily use of a powerful hypnotic-sedative drug like Ambien? I've tried a few sleeping pills in the past (like Advil PM), and that shit makes me feel horrible the next day. 

Can someone please give me insight into my friend's addiction and what the long-term consequences could be for her? I don't know if I should say anything. I don't feel it's my place to bring it up, but if it does come up at some point in the future, I don't know if I could hold back my opinion since it's clearly a damaging habit to have. 

Reading the reports of long-term Ambien abuse online are scary.

Thanks & peace.",8.623873239436621,7.03345164553991,8.533431924882631,71.8197253521127,61.88732394366197,12.181971830985914,36.55821596244133,11.10651602901591,3.949787230046948,1755,65,324,39,20,571,226,426,0.091,0.805,0.10400000000000001,0.3917,3,0,3,0,1,0,64.0,1,0,0,5,11,12,1,0,22,0,35,15,5,8,5,73,66,26,0,12,20,0,3,2,2,3,10,2,0,3,23,12,0,3,15,1,0,6,11,3,0,0,5,5,39,9,44,50,4,56,0,1,0,0,38,19,1,11,31,203,62,7,0.0,0.08610197198226953,0.0,0.15844187830026776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801930636374753,0.0,0.0,0.07873782782671063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059801152181188685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175736547955538,0.0,0.08859781731971497,0.0,0.061836749423725884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22261233953888848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06259870134049868,0.07619302838906641,0.07853036692618309,0.0,0.1740630534523076,0.08040788414111137,0.0,0.18746434595550776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06359393659924215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528221076578057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04799779671312406,0.0,0.06122754172521321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11023228493139416,0.0,0.0,0.07960634514879791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16843379949678589,0.0,0.0,0.06971160890188717,0.08259998029132921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07195464582781128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048709115478098385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584851611478344,0.07211368232639151,0.12918472753750168,0.0,0.0,0.07987497496479007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22292974983908231,0.0,0.0710057043059692,0.0,0.0,0.2572423692122774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048507735809783584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058004436735194224,0.0,0.0,0.05388382479237323,0.056047522168418566,0.0,0.07728528421258753,0.13639159402036874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06937166129644204,0.0503801724472163,0.12690514205609602,0.07592459926856616,0.07976974965874066,0.13739312655735436,0.0,0.06959769542195479,0.0,0.0,0.06953529903625515,0.0,0.07305334104400597,0.0,0.0,0.07268958539043574,0.08271427829138797,0.04655421149353455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11558007408809293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06615596576567424,0.0,0.08209632479189527,0.07459462846002357,0.06011330867336603,0.0,0.2908896049004394,0.0,0.12314597457976062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06849053947189959,0.0,0.16391620759556436,0.05840932891034721,0.0,0.06690469871207187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04656395037510581,0.0,0.0,0.042374414676914406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073895485764734,0.04933810541838357,0.0,0.141975904737042,0.15130389887087475,0.0,0.3138173921346387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05768199989286256,0.05829142634418837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06557329960697524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788074282165202,0.1587137014973977,0.0,0.0,0.05162262607951724,0.0,0.0,0.04679704582456078
addiction,pearljamfan,2020/02/04,Combatting addiction with fasting Has anyone ever tried this?  I heard a friend mention a 72 hour fast as a way to start to be mindful of addiction and impulses and I was curious if anyone tried and if it caused any type of paradigm shift.  Hope you all are well.,2.8794117647058783,5.27905105882353,4.352705882352943,82.02317647058824,77.62745098039215,8.785882352941178,27.84705882352941,9.3871,2.8951458823529417,208,9,39,6,5,69,40,51,0.0,0.8,0.2,0.8591,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,4,2,0,1,2,11,7,6,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,3,3,6,4,1,6,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,3,5,26,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5383638819502428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679157478989627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3453078665026858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536573960750365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233555119790293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907716889025824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452497288168659,0.2431688956060265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493213064515699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17477299617512815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3352882993569813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959955645193996,0.0,0.0,0.22201295600462084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,psychocandid,2020/02/04,"Genuinely ADHD but addicted to and abusing meds 
I’m afraid to admit this and am really afraid to get help because I know they will take me off my meds but I think I may have a problem. I am super dependent on my ADHD meds (diagnosed as a kid) but not because they help me function but because they are the only things that make me feel remotely happy or motivated. And I love the jittery feeling I get when I take more than is prescribed. I would take 3 or 4 times as much as I’m prescribed if I had enough. It’s mainly a relief from my depression. Or I’m just so dependent my brain can’t make dopamine anymore. 

I’ve never taken any other kind of upper but I fantasize about cocaine all the time. If I had the money or the chance I know it would ruin me. I don’t think I could resist. Anyway, I keep taking more than prescribed of my vyvanse/adderall whether I need to study or not. Just so I don’t have to feel tired and depressed. And I feel extremely attached to my meds. I carry them around with me and get almost emotional about them. I am always making sure I have them and scheming ways to get more. 

Anyway, I lie to doctors about my anxiety and my (past) psychotic symptoms so they won’t stop prescribing them to me. I’ve even got two separate psychiatrists so that I don’t have to tell my adhd doc anything about my other mental issues. I‘ve even stolen meds from my mother. I know that’s horrible. 

I was taken off them recently when I was hospitalized for a week in a psych ward for my depression and it was horrible. I wanted to sleep all day and eat crap. I had no motivation for anything and felt horrible about myself and my life and my future. I begged my doctor to let me have my ADHD meds. But they wouldn’t. All I couldn’t think about was how I couldn’t wait to get out of there and how I’d never be honest with doctors again because they would take away my amphetamines, the one thing that made me feel good. I lied and said I’d try to wean myself off them but the minute I got out of the hospital I took a vyvanse for the first time in a week and felt amazing. I was just pacing around listening to music and everything was beautiful again. 

I don’t know what to do with myself. I know this is bad and I’ve been bad. Part of my knows what I have to do but the other part of me says I can’t. I won’t survive it. And I’m too scared to tell anyone in real life because I’m afraid I’ll become fat, useless and suicidal if they take away my meds.

The crazy thing is that even with the meds my ADHD is very bad. I’m on medical leave this semester from college because I’ve not finished any of my classes. I stopped talking to my mom. I slept without any sheets on my bed for months. Didn’t do any laundry. I hyperfocus on all the wrong things. Docs think I might be bipolar. It’s one huge mess. 

I don’t expect sympathy and I’m so so so sorry for being part of the problem and perpetuating the stereotype. At the same time, addiction is also a mental illness, kind of like ADHD. And I really want to change. I just need a push. But I understand if you want nothing to do with me after reading this.",2.2134664518995777,3.971308230171076,3.9362472228393695,87.29260011664076,77.11819595645413,6.956776271939567,24.079343479226843,7.83500028581142,1.2184223728060433,2444,81,512,38,56,820,254,643,0.177,0.718,0.105,-0.9952,0,0,1,0,0,0,55.0,0,1,13,5,34,28,1,4,25,0,53,20,5,10,7,119,110,57,1,19,27,2,7,1,0,9,14,3,1,1,23,32,2,4,21,1,1,2,20,17,0,4,21,10,98,11,74,73,14,44,0,5,0,1,27,19,1,14,23,364,121,9,0.0,0.06174609600742855,0.0,0.11362303561572586,0.3757825302193114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052184244031293625,0.0,0.0,0.04167522823007764,0.043362691117743636,0.0,0.0,0.1417561440774991,0.0,0.03986676244761543,0.0,0.05168268926946914,0.036439041816749514,0.0,0.0857701072095049,0.09278430798367228,0.0,0.0,0.0979248880240704,0.0,0.1305380412055789,0.1906078063600538,0.05755537841429849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0581760141911588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055129280288885266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04160847021415323,0.0,0.0,0.03360896166734193,0.0,0.1346561056292087,0.052894208461945064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16002143789731232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053325224430881404,0.0,0.058620787302210625,0.0,0.053847281114020575,0.0,0.10326162673500286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046836344654833086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13175101359067765,0.0,0.10007445974077324,0.0,0.0,0.04432780274840297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13613602917045034,0.0,0.0,0.043710416360781185,0.08336001545258773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05547589776357072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06986129705291587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05439306034719883,0.0,0.04632096342036546,0.0,0.10853659285061014,0.1718416347229245,0.0,0.0,0.05518077929723734,0.0,0.05328968825983281,0.0736187557351203,0.02546007329573297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04703455993536069,0.0493111497208826,0.10435870085637478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.46309170408640504,0.05249897080502649,0.10503650596961396,0.055284295665964336,0.0,0.06103482013988532,0.041596579463309434,0.0,0.03830949331394838,0.07728315025264391,0.08038644423851983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05000440607724743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062705007005073,0.039634742211228834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16930185572410536,0.04974832933544178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997313569329633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0521277041039463,0.05931668753901384,0.06677061503357566,0.0,0.05145589437377602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049571968848192635,0.04144282753859977,0.05217480631598464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05215123724298717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05833691018998083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08713860856494188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05700382157729773,0.0,0.04911645260230909,0.05416598582039851,0.23509765591555795,0.04188693879590175,0.0910991692878327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13848784457036242,0.1335691661481799,0.0,0.0,0.12155144030560125,0.059896918615605525,0.0,0.0,0.05790012868934441,0.035381714539772416,0.0,0.050907416188099325,0.05425209696650805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04299917895207045,0.0922138570089299,0.04136535112132626,0.08360477523556327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050235652093845874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106002171650044,0.056978042226157974,0.0,0.0
addiction,kylelindsay86,2020/02/04,Anyone struggling with substance abuse that needs help? Please feel free to message me anytime.,7.125999999999998,11.2214406,3.068333333333332,86.4225,76.33333333333334,3.0,34.16666666666667,3.1291,1.6576666666666668,79,4,10,0,2,20,15,15,0.27699999999999997,0.395,0.32799999999999996,0.0772,0,0,0,0,1,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0.0,0.5077457112867572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2996427045950801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21668094481731032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28723900179276657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31775440580720365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4704044210274804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4479994246904065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,quiiidpr0qu0,2020/02/04,"What is a SAFE addiction to have ? I am addicted to sugar and shopping. If i cant have carbs and sugar, then id be itching with boredom and resort to shopping online or in person. Im trying to be a minimalist because I own too many useless shit and I am trying to be healthy aka eat boring tasteless food with little to no flavors. I am not obese nor poor but I want to have a healthy mind and body and finances. Here to look for tips on how to live without excesses!

I know some people might say 'go gym' but is there ANYTHING in this world I can do mindlessly in bed or without being motivated to do something and be healthily into the thing? I want something to be my ""after work relief"" or ""boredom relief"" and not cause me harm. Is there such a thing? Everything good for me requires so much motivation..

TLDR; what can I get hooked on that isn't detrimental to me and that doesnt require motivation?

Thank you!",3.217875457875458,4.957019175824176,4.7024395604395615,82.95922710622709,74.27472527472527,7.0511355311355315,28.616849816849808,7.793537801064563,1.8753416849816842,718,30,138,10,15,240,110,182,0.135,0.743,0.122,0.8222,0,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,6,7,9,1,0,5,0,23,10,3,5,0,36,30,19,0,3,10,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,1,1,7,12,5,3,4,3,4,1,9,4,0,0,0,5,15,5,25,23,3,11,0,1,1,0,3,8,1,6,2,105,22,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3645255592896383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13758388046688375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10191803220454414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18571142013557132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717511283209594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17107804904679186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15026041715807067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021679224882752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735035444865481,0.0,0.09501845199016112,0.14023181025178882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18059488225744205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09188375647474496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16756922312665684,0.14763264425555098,0.0,0.14039826356473353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16950534986793026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17736314373544326,0.16881516707222494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229045624480474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159091316982886,0.14598466131870905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13295692906977075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17161907540543792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574234747859496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539269350929017,0.0,0.0,0.22214843461654926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22702331813869964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19722707118486546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32233215873092513,0.0,0.12171698001800707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,alrightok33,2020/02/04,"This is so hard to talk about, but my loved ones addiction is ruining me Ah, so hey. I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes, don’t know what to do so I just wanted to reach out. My loved one is in a very very deep addiction. They have gotten a month sober here and there, but lately things have been worse than ever. They were going to meetings, but recently stopped. For the past months, I have tried to spend every free moment with them to control the addiction (they don’t use when I’m around) but I know this is unhealthy. Every night I pull away, they use. I got a phone call tonight from this person, and they were out of it on a level I have never experienced. I don’t know what to do anymore.. they say they want to change but when all is said and done, nothing does. I am losing myself through this process..",1.7179216867469869,3.7687695120481983,2.5309487951807235,95.39594126506027,79.78313253012048,5.595783132530121,20.01355421686747,6.6274283507984215,0.03168795180722883,633,16,141,6,16,198,98,166,0.099,0.7829999999999999,0.11699999999999999,0.6301,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,8,2,12,5,0,0,6,1,19,6,1,3,3,26,34,13,0,2,6,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,8,8,0,2,3,0,2,2,4,2,1,2,7,5,21,4,23,27,1,25,0,2,1,2,18,9,0,0,13,99,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4456190544623274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13512982351114938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12129716293463445,0.0,0.0,0.1280174563580485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13913310928085248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414129800583944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528232381239393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192389714171656,0.13943769511181145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12325179479783292,0.2296039367313837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07743770252094771,0.0,0.10897676122524426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12205905031139995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22464900820954029,0.0,0.15370325409054167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524361577179805,0.0,0.0,0.2459536015957457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21751725852489645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050894039782192,0.0,0.0,0.1278674843124133,0.0,0.13074177569915946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846618460838676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300722361412412,0.0,0.11897391021472405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13453684441773472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296111231099115,0.10835662869428524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139165256571088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095178042574536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09052275655423137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092509211669558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353637158005253,0.0,0.22485174610873307,0.1607352145567773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388570026323656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,bastolasushann,2020/02/04,"I have spend 7+ hrs Gaming a day for almost a year. These are the things I’ve learned  What if you have an ambition to do something great within 3 months, 6 months or 8 months but you are stuck on the addiction of gaming. It’s indeed the worst thing for your present and the future. Too much of anything is just too much. It’s true that some studies have shown certain video games can improve hand–eye coordination, problem-solving skills, and the mind’s ability to process information. But too much video game playing cause problems for your passion. 

 [https://medium.com/@bastolasushan/i-have-spend-7-hrs-gaming-a-day-for-almost-a-year-these-are-the-things-ive-learned-113e332e70d2](https://medium.com/@bastolasushan/i-have-spend-7-hrs-gaming-a-day-for-almost-a-year-these-are-the-things-ive-learned-113e332e70d2)",15.651530398322857,20.627213754716987,6.480691823899374,69.5767819706499,48.24528301886792,6.975262054507338,29.70230607966457,7.793537801064563,1.9230180293501045,702,19,84,6,9,157,78,106,0.1,0.7120000000000001,0.188,0.8481,0,0,1,0,0,0,65.0,0,4,0,1,4,7,0,0,8,0,8,2,0,1,2,16,9,6,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,2,7,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,5,5,9,8,5,9,0,0,0,1,9,2,0,4,7,52,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17621139869795274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4855771673896481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13301590188960266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16604874900056482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3127331766183793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782086096941541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632102657997124,0.0,0.3870583852240869,0.0,0.3564718737012731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3093351942934704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12443832645950972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21477279375759575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31227247447990314
addiction,falseparasite94,2020/02/04,Questions about recovery Hello i am 25yo and I've been a drug addict since i was 12-13.. How I got on the drugs was my mom she had sugary on her leg she had bad curclation and they tried to open up some veins and when they done that her leg got gang green and they had to cut it off she got really strong medicine lortabs and oxycotin she didn't have the money to keep paying for it and she switched to morphine no gas a really hard time dealing with this emotionally and I started using her meds i started with lortabs for a little while then I went straight to iv use of morphine100mgs few times a day. I've been too rehab a few times I was put on probation for truancy and that's how they found out i was using... I've been to rehab a few times my probation officer got funding too send me to Florida for a few weeks it was either that or juvie so I went to Florida didn't stay long few weeks i came back and went straight to using then I got caught I was in school and I was sleeping the teacher said I looked bad and i went to the nurse they went to take my blood pressure and saw my track marks called cps irioncally that's how I got caught when i was sent to flordia. I had a court date and they took emergency custody of me and sent me to a behavioral treatment center level 5 lock down for 17 months until I turned 17 then i was in a group home till I was 18 then I signed myself out and I went right back to using I continues to use my mom's meds until she died in may 5 2016 by that time ive been in the methadone clinic a few times always lost my way to pay for it so I got kicked out but since my mom died i was going to the suboxone doctor for 2 years then I failed a drug test for weed and I've been in the clinic for over a year and i think I'm doing alot better than I ever have but my gf wants me to drop out of the clinic saying that it's just another way to get high and it dont help that i should just be able to stop. I love her so much with all my heart I stopped shooting dope for her and. Part of me is scared I'll drop out and mess up and end up loosing her but if i dont ill loose her either way? Any opinions,0.539555907271204,2.374218580299786,2.2665641001768897,96.89456917419236,82.6830835117773,5.516972348943302,18.717484405548827,6.601985625127523,-0.18410898426589686,1675,40,403,17,46,550,212,467,0.107,0.848,0.046,-0.9684,0,0,4,1,0,0,11.0,0,0,6,4,16,11,1,2,22,0,34,19,6,9,2,64,75,43,2,3,9,3,1,0,1,2,12,2,1,0,14,31,0,3,3,0,4,15,5,8,0,0,46,6,68,3,62,26,13,82,0,2,3,1,35,27,0,7,34,259,82,6,0.0696854136594241,0.0,0.0,0.07596738684215278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057983846546738285,0.0,0.0,0.047388470903064264,0.07307123220505303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10716756336043624,0.11636881928789206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06163108545668638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115659864259859,0.07970154882035989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04494132687989332,0.07184260160662065,0.0,0.0,0.14464491494106574,0.0,0.0,0.07132597370422751,0.0,0.07131237243244481,0.16334157163793062,0.0,0.2424388685709801,0.0,0.0,0.07838671096659634,0.061720592775659326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06303444622017276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640645924449775,0.0,0.0,0.036407752477666915,0.0,0.039603826483638686,0.0,0.3901365383099017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062424443028675336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08257755070860273,0.04670866387043505,0.07362646552588106,0.06990015170173616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061939597511846176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06984309150177938,0.0,0.06166939821650658,0.058518196754011875,0.0,0.07606986084255281,0.0,0.06289380652782764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15480957024727932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24484414277166985,0.05562223234532597,0.0,0.05122679714613767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07546251219916876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005308796812391,0.07806361155467671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928452077444878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05951096251051675,0.06628678618927142,0.055416637909675666,0.06976725579178639,0.07052535895001544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528898857654145,0.0,0.06973573963177171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09864738891399223,0.07427537902162754,0.0,0.1165202522510968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05239475861515256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0446515992992806,0.0,0.0,0.2438047506003731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742305863451307,0.04731182160406042,0.07579771939118404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3611149397899665,0.0,0.0,0.04110226246313962,0.16593911332150754,0.11179487095647064,0.0,0.0,0.38759445966342404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897502433412733
addiction,icecream-bear,2020/02/04,"I work in a cafe I work in a cafe and the other day someone who seemed to be drunk/high came in. He ordered an iced coffee and then proceeded to lock himself up in the bathroom for over an hour, presumably to do drugs. After he came out he began snorting something over the trash can and he laid down in the middle of the store. I told my coworker to get a security guard to help escort him out of the store. The addict was mad that he was being forcibly removed because he was a paying customer. 

I'm making this post because after a bit of reflection I felt like I could have had more empathy for the man, because addiction is a disease and I don't know what kind of circumstances he's in.I also realized that I should be more aware of the signs of opioid overdose because the man could have very well overdosed in our bathroom when I didn't check on him for over an hour. 

What should I have done in this situation? After what period of time should i have checked on him to make sure wasn't overdosed in the bathroom?  Was it wrong to have him removed by a security guard when I didn't nicely ask him to leave first? (I was afraid he was going to be confrontational so I didn't engage with him)

Please help, I'm morally conflicted.",5.9245438898450935,5.582780963855424,6.416308089500863,80.73912650602409,66.6706827309237,9.363281698221456,31.84193918531269,8.841846274778883,2.409574641422834,976,35,198,14,14,318,126,249,0.061,0.855,0.084,0.6611,0,0,4,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,0,3,5,12,2,1,21,0,30,3,0,2,1,27,44,9,0,5,0,0,1,1,0,3,3,0,0,2,10,9,0,5,6,0,5,5,5,4,1,1,17,2,22,8,41,18,3,39,1,0,0,0,23,18,0,1,15,137,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3082517796807563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11306213745221508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132171919474244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3447375802106548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15435116547016575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32340383536210104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257620547418524,0.0,0.0,0.09117888983549212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446815971255744,0.0,0.0,0.16395678858015378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357476947720892,0.0,0.0,0.12025839665774225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386560840072234,0.0,0.08034994030474896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895290777144735,0.14937652835889978,0.0,0.0,0.2784631263227629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14722629845868904,0.07769916466841957,0.0,0.0,0.14970180413125886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907149471656937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887455015310112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15519361144151286,0.0,0.0,0.13540368055243218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12870772804852448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15891789049594046,0.0,0.0,0.11979145359787192,0.10884181124227256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13324968695143566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244025428892654,0.0,0.0,0.1350953686578223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11665392818419427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12711827649488358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20585374469232307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15457765957194344,0.0,0.0
addiction,jahthra,2020/02/04,"Monster drink problem What should I do... I am just quitting a months spanning 3 energy drink a day habit. I am off them now, but my insides feel absolutely disastrous. It has probably landed me in the hospital , for sure... what should I expect or suggest the ER to do for me... how can I just announce the horrible, shredded, chronic, acute feeling insides and expect to get ER treated or diagnosed as if to if I have sever problems?",3.9516402116402105,6.105354358024695,5.3845855379188725,77.06777777777779,73.32098765432099,8.085361552028218,35.02821869488536,8.841846274778883,3.4731996472663136,337,19,57,7,7,113,58,81,0.187,0.774,0.039,-0.9397,0,0,2,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,1,4,4,0,0,5,0,9,4,0,1,1,18,12,8,0,8,7,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,3,1,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,10,2,8,10,0,7,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,4,3,45,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16467152484324413,0.0,0.0,0.259162126132229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5002669651746915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25821256273682125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13340327339767766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038079080301464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752969459608925,0.4886468907724447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.271582796858375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2884586275561149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406525147955526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Blood-Filled-Pelvis,2020/02/05,"After 551 days of sobriety from alcohol, my mental health vs job caved in and I went to the only thing that helped for sure Ive missed 3 days of work as a closing person where only 2 people close and 1 person cant be alone closing because I’ve been freaking out over the definition of dissociation. 

Apparently I’ve been living this way all my life and it feels like a huge set back after making mental health a priority when I got sober August 3rd, 2018.

Today, it felt as if my boss was giving me an ultimatum for showing up tomorrow and I agreed to come in.

I still dont feel like I can trust my brain nor talk to privileged customers and care what they are questioning. 

I tried to get myself committed Sunday but I’m not a threat to myself nor others so....

I couldnt take the pressure from my boss and my psych is aware of what’s happening, I got a 6 pack and ended up drinking 4. Have a 5th sitting next to me. Watching the end of Bojack Horseman. Typing this out. I do want to be better.


I want to be soooo much better.

Or fuck this world and dive deep in. Like, what is sobriety even about. I cant trust anything.

Ooo, there’s the tears.",2.1964285714285694,4.083356115384618,3.934346764346767,86.70192307692308,77.58974358974359,6.6793650793650805,21.826617826617827,7.62386473244151,0.8495387057387056,897,25,186,13,21,301,147,234,0.057999999999999996,0.765,0.177,0.972,2,1,2,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,3,8,15,2,1,12,0,17,7,1,3,3,32,35,17,0,4,5,0,3,3,0,0,4,0,0,2,11,14,2,0,4,2,0,2,7,5,0,0,7,4,23,10,30,24,2,34,0,1,1,1,7,15,1,3,17,115,34,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14085630842871072,0.0,0.13650717490643316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10846185730462196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134764118472103,0.0,0.08034530664657234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331364057865691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14713467792083804,0.0,0.0,0.1343809746379286,0.0,0.0,0.11353579596052618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17000283773066266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544710215835779,0.1291158319320277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334749916557343,0.0,0.0,0.08705401130503157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13328615388954812,0.1883188224347782,0.12655063780820403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12184887186363652,0.06886113146080779,0.12643653677914482,0.0,0.0,0.210828280273566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11655211798025185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28019883269407964,0.0,0.0,0.08834413618675607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307931977380246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09309568612270047,0.19317547289676132,0.0,0.11638362532305355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879788921730181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656509334755699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09688967246083552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14017297597569794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20048279727664306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137494639561647,0.2301689333210012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147648460883969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052572877904204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12422187278951,0.0,0.0990987390135794,0.10593749562446778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08756342579545448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12493293267123935,0.0,0.0,0.08948494058033288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554805285246357,0.1046183328118699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218182128808963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09595346252383267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Theodore_Long991,2020/02/05,"How to stop being addicted to the internet even though it’s near impossible to live without the internet? I’m addicted to the internet. So I thought about giving away my computer and my Iphone to my brother and buying myself some old phone without the internet on it.

Problem is : the internet is important in some situations (google maps, Waze, Facebook to keep track of infos related to my school, etc.)

So what can I do ?",6.659230769230772,7.631164410256416,7.740153846153842,67.35484615384617,65.15384615384615,12.393846153846154,38.67692307692308,11.979248473330829,5.355627692307691,336,18,56,12,5,114,52,78,0.066,0.878,0.055999999999999994,-0.2014,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,5,0,5,2,0,1,0,12,9,6,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,2,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,7,0,15,7,3,7,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,2,2,45,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4860447213813251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20944641488424245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486215360668741,0.1472405905598788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21385103414104376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19814696586622485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19684783581104914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23392344806036566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133101766326804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22561312074879586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505782834039201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863762066027818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2190237673067611,0.17697842709201622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4297856221328261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,PG1400,2020/02/05,"Stuck in a vicious cycle. I need out. Addiction is merciless, relentless cycle. I can’t seem to stop relapsing. I can’t keep doing this to myself. It’s emotionally exhausting to continue putting myself through this repeating cycle of self-hatred and negative emotion.",4.724637681159418,8.205366391304352,6.382608695652177,62.9576811594203,80.73913043478261,10.892753623188407,35.92753623188405,10.125756701596842,5.8677362318840585,218,13,28,9,6,74,36,46,0.28,0.6940000000000001,0.026000000000000002,-0.8934,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,0,6,8,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,5,0,7,7,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,3,22,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3255089230878213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6717507323017462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654019378666677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22140189157286225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30016703445204657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27182658276000765,0.3114961642918725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496359517208647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,CondomLeavesARice,2020/02/05,"Community info I'm just super happy to see that they define addiction without calling it a disease.  The notion that it's an incurable illness is absurd. No your not powerless, you always have the ability to stop and by extension not start anytime given the opportunity.  Mini rant over",5.095882352941175,8.046039764705885,7.360549019607843,60.45847058823529,72.92156862745098,9.570196078431367,33.729411764705894,9.888512548439397,4.614557647058824,232,12,30,7,5,82,45,51,0.149,0.611,0.24,0.78,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,1,2,1,3,0,0,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,7,6,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,1,3,3,5,5,0,3,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,2,24,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41741347630259096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3186003884372145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39097992488527217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4076002231592245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051187712715953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710159664983699,0.0,0.0,0.3201184453852858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3690983621620042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,PsychWarrior02,2020/02/05,"Taking meds but not everyday? Is this addiction or just normal life?! I have Endone and Codene that I stole from when people in my family have had surgeries.  I used to take 1-2 endones a day, not a lot at all.  Now I found another packet and want to take it everyday, but choose to only take it from time to time.  I have a number of health issues that make life hard so the medicine just takes the edge off.  I know this is bad, I do, but I also don’t think this is bad enough in the slightest to be an addiction!?  Please help my dumb ass.",2.160347222222221,3.503597276785716,3.6972619047619055,90.71996031746036,76.23214285714286,7.120634920634919,20.48015873015873,7.793537801064563,0.5692825396825394,413,9,93,6,9,137,73,112,0.177,0.745,0.078,-0.9435,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,6,3,1,0,7,0,10,6,1,2,1,20,21,9,0,2,8,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,1,10,0,12,18,3,11,0,0,0,1,1,4,2,2,7,63,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33947970958979623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451607457913325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16326875070668811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26001192498068537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041591024755817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16088339178519356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14678345191666511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17072090849328767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13947979963239016,0.0,0.0,0.165505595146924,0.0,0.0,0.10436480906609363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16251405562528068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855706003849279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21995604748533745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323735922164267,0.0,0.0,0.10393333026736823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17295154583396172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525564223318603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118419567851012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10794523831036876,0.0,0.0,0.17091574360712605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5853484691943438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997685493272008,0.0,0.0,0.181583987047851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13447787704737701,0.0,0.0,0.09183798932996713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ronswan99,2020/02/05,"It’s gotten to the point where I’m always looking to find some substance to get a buzz from. I’m a College aged male, and I started smoking Weed during my second Semester of my first year of College. Every sense then, I’ve smoked basically everyday, multiple times a day. Before that it was vaping, which started midway through High-school.

It’s gotten to the point now where I don’t look forward to doing anything else but smoke, and schedule my day around 3 hour intervals where I can smoke and relax. Vaping hasn’t really been an issue anymore, but I feel like weed as really messed my mental health up and made my head extremely foggy. 

My biggest issue is, I don’t even enjoy life anymore. I work out and eat really healthy, but because I was always looking forward to smoking, and now I’m trying to stop, I catch myself asking the question, what do I have to look forward to if I don’t smoke!

Please help!!!!",6.601067415730334,6.419754837078653,7.195820224719102,75.17586516853932,65.23595505617978,9.591910112359553,32.9685393258427,9.120678840339163,2.8944746067415728,723,27,129,11,10,239,106,178,0.037000000000000005,0.85,0.114,0.9345,0,0,4,0,0,1,24.0,0,0,0,2,7,4,0,0,7,0,12,4,1,1,0,18,27,12,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,8,1,1,3,1,0,4,4,1,0,2,6,5,17,3,17,21,1,28,0,0,4,0,4,12,0,3,19,79,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233747077396705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26623360573771954,0.0,0.0,0.1104571241825194,0.11949020658337095,0.1254838303890687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08182334079728927,0.0,0.11421702193036334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17313021393186392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373474075912044,0.11212917099689147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865545894442801,0.0,0.11309177052711815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06786904455563307,0.09589156996068564,0.0,0.0,0.12268075757142805,0.11417314894940388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07012790245471033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377553023144681,0.14267668850516746,0.0,0.0,0.08996931699381923,0.14181786133739818,0.0,0.0,0.13218624595939446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801955700842125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09480827655413727,0.06557637781315898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4508664352525689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12700853398720566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352689271478242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14734059165561816,0.253775204798548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15036460544294444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25796715276891524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13584457035802866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19001267577326805,0.0,0.0,0.11221951820392616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07826865893734138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09113110765185094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771862467715696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08643758378362089
addiction,sheepvroom,2020/02/05,"my life is slipping i wish i never got into this shit, i’m a 17 yr old girl and i hope i can turn my life around - previously was addicted to oxycodone and pretty much any opiate, i’ve been clean for a year and half after being put in a treatment center, for which i’m very grateful. lately i’ve been having a terrible time with cravings, i relapsed a couple weeks ago with hydros and i hate it because it just made everything worse, i’m sorry about this rant i just feel like i’m messing my life up and i hope i’m able to help myself :((",1.7678761061946917,3.4872001681415945,3.7497433628318615,88.30532300884957,78.29203539823007,5.935929203539826,21.919469026548683,6.742157984588678,0.5301122123893811,421,12,88,4,10,143,74,113,0.14800000000000002,0.6629999999999999,0.19,0.6178,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,4,7,2,0,5,0,7,5,1,1,1,17,20,5,0,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,1,1,5,9,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,5,1,12,3,12,14,1,14,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,2,9,51,17,0,0.1753664161562442,0.0,0.0,0.1911752786655332,0.0,0.0,0.15545174691843253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11925517655689433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15611329021834536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10690173959661957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940396039543404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15760802714944205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867052917983542,0.12528180274188766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14025654302714258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731380297330148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11754441218412842,0.0,0.0,0.3483568405767911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19782095584767706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37159945779666,0.08567517283410778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16593594314959167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289144937932958,0.0,0.13525339113632512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18401755394955727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17841069059554154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17629168476617932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18001110610126894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963083454269586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10225756752006744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19074830304391788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446956591857411,0.0,0.0,0.14066836110138164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20166272398313867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17871336003528568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129302223908187
addiction,coloradokiddo,2020/02/05,"6 months sober, so tired Hey everyone. So according to my Days app it’s been 6 months and 2 weeks. 198 days. I decided to check myself into rehab a month after ending an extremely unhealthy relationship and it was the best decision I ever made. Things have been going well so far, I have a very supportive (and also sober) roommate who has been a tremendous help throughout the process. 
My problem right now, I’m back to that feeling I had the first 2 months of recovery that no amount of sleep being enough. I typically sleep 8-9 hours every night and sometimes nap on the weekends, but it’s definitely not the same sleep as when I was using. I used to be able to sleep through the night uninterrupted. Like, that out cold, nothing could wake me up, like a baby sleep. Since getting sober, I haven’t had a single night where I don’t wake up randomly at least 4 times. 
I guess I’m just feeling a bit defeated. Has anyone else dealt with this kind of thing? I feel like hearing that I’m not alone would help me relax a little. But right now I’m so f*cking tired its unreal.
I WILL NOT RELAPSE. But those intrusive thoughts saying, “You know you’d get good sleep if you just used again,” have been plaguing me lately. 
I guess I’m just looking for a little reassurance. 

TLDR: 6 months sober, can’t sleep through the night, never been so f*cking tired. Anyone else experience this?",3.7957099080694623,5.67709122846442,4.478762342526392,84.56827630234936,73.04494382022472,7.4013619339462045,25.994041538985357,8.150884317080207,1.5994059925093629,1086,37,211,17,22,347,154,267,0.084,0.765,0.151,0.9329,0,1,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,3,0,3,17,12,0,0,16,0,23,13,9,4,2,37,45,16,0,4,10,0,3,3,0,2,4,2,0,0,14,7,0,0,7,3,1,1,8,2,1,1,11,7,22,10,20,28,7,39,0,1,1,0,11,12,0,4,29,130,36,0,0.07900440651125451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08182473866330482,0.0,0.06317979534354434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104834359532336,0.16189870155919595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06074951195617614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829102504490228,0.0,0.08625234994840056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06307858995216988,0.0,0.0,0.10190261265656103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13199608803226429,0.0,0.06997445441875971,0.08163267113519494,0.0,0.0,0.07146400877706285,0.06656461991784438,0.07549209608096495,0.0,0.07728146932504758,0.0,0.0,0.11984100524669933,0.05644076379746706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06720110781905332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255308323100513,0.0,0.044900024877608455,0.06626514784296172,0.0,0.0,0.17406452161538846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08904370800355345,0.0,0.10590997668615673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07780342618779586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08227093185584662,0.04341875567485943,0.0,0.0891204117344239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11579268706404758,0.15836634105315647,0.0,0.0,0.06634380370122546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07475587968758275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3153028176563958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06093306876864895,0.0,0.0,0.29656113442216325,0.0,0.07580685880817531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559654725311213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482116601932807,0.0,0.13493866297573612,0.0,0.06282747506243612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06535326147511981,0.0,0.5534302378415296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07813737817707436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965326426439689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10497403432585564,0.0,0.0,0.06272067389209282,0.04606810477331983,0.27241182980097417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20470332313651565,0.0,0.06518690938257615,0.0,0.0,0.06337256943099015,0.0,0.07103444950140983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05612246363843542,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,aepure,2020/02/05,"I suck Here I am. Up at 4am, feeling like death and have work in 3 hrs. I have a great job and life, besides this addiction. I know this isn't the right path but I continue to walk it. I hide this from most people. I can't do this anymore, but I continue to, once a week. I'll be crying in the shower when I wake up.",-1.360833333333332,0.34789458333333195,1.6866666666666674,99.00000000000004,89.27777777777777,5.266666666666668,17.333333333333336,6.6274283507984215,-0.3443666666666667,238,6,63,3,8,84,49,72,0.163,0.752,0.085,-0.7227,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,1,0,4,0,7,3,1,0,0,7,10,5,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,9,2,8,9,1,11,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,1,5,40,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3301662138143517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30035947804729385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3326816301019348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15313702221635314,0.21636593789667094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3339083757725262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.300545559208703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16644600749217647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21392163758934246,0.1479639398460959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3225400307854108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20996760410386306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586440048723985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429390479381399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2204884317455038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,xaniel_the_legend,2020/02/05,"Tips on breaking free from kratom. First of all, I know that people are going to call me a bitch. The fact is that I have done a lot of drugs in my life and haven’t had this hard of a time kicking most of them. Is kratom less physically addictive than most drugs? For sure. Is kratom less damaging than most? Definitely. The point is that I cannot go a day without taking it and I want out. I want out NOW. I tried cold turkey and got really fucked up mental as well as bad physical WD. I was at 20-30 grams per day (sometimes more). I tried quitting cold turkey and I had to quit because of the severity of the symptoms. I am allowing myself 13 grams per day and it has relieved the physical symptoms but I am losing my mind mentally. I feel like everything isn’t real. Like a depressing dream.

I was using 80+ grams per day less than 6 months ago and I know that is a HUGE improvement but I want to be done. Shit just makes me dizzy and nauseous now but without it I feel like shit. 

Also to any kratom advocates, I 100% support it being legal. I am not debating that. I want it to remain legal I just don’t want to take drugs anymore.",0.3776878868258216,2.7200392179487203,2.3825375773651665,92.35269230769232,88.44444444444444,5.791688770999116,19.60742705570292,7.237678284180719,0.5419515473032712,883,27,191,15,29,294,126,234,0.12,0.6920000000000001,0.188,0.8643,0,0,3,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,1,4,6,16,4,0,11,0,23,10,2,3,3,38,41,13,0,5,8,0,3,3,0,0,7,0,0,0,11,9,0,0,4,1,1,2,7,8,1,1,7,5,26,9,27,32,9,21,0,3,0,1,2,8,4,4,13,125,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155397695779962,0.0,0.0,0.09394969446272253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847565150978441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720737310626501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10510907364878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08849341227521361,0.06460773823214623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10822298031920588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734073537646585,0.0,0.09128510096190263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21691979733421707,0.0,0.0,0.3687283737907676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952528761438242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10717884217363753,0.1514320337038783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015115795305323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09798182800991284,0.0,0.0,0.1204679317411384,0.0,0.08476623534318922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494213324139017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649364803654272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07486064800294193,0.15533739189876453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857059316734968,0.0,0.09010502784616073,0.0,0.0,0.07074610170413814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21361678344962945,0.0,0.10701507758635916,0.0,0.08459656407487154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347695670231459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001904948005806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254571149679235,0.0,0.12063462964615805,0.06789698439013263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11973337543600544,0.21758505456982585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048223065168231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12027101710092497,0.09989001940331783,0.2203188987775179,0.15937571605741727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06180096020440674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439143083282999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915373878819829,0.0,0.0,0.3125647815155845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09529363555066453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20433235694047974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,guiga199,2020/02/05,"Is Genetic Addiction Risk Score Test (GARS) legit? Hi all. I remember that I learned, in one of my biology classes in high school, about a genetic test that could predict whether or not you are genetically inclined towards developing addiction - being it for alcohol, tobacco, food, sex, etc. Back then I didn't care much about it, but now, years later, I decided that, if such a test indeed exists, I would like to do it. In the process of looking for it online, I found out about a test called Genetic Addiction Risk Score Test, which I assumed to be the one about which I learned. However, I couldn't find any anecdotal evidence about it. With that being said, I would like to know if there is anyone here who has done this Genetic Addiction Risk Score Test and what you think about it. Is it legit? Is it worth almost $300? I guess that if it works, I wouldn't mind paying for it since this would definitely help me to better arrange my life and live better in general. The question is: does it really work?

For additional information, the company whose test I was considering taking is called GENEUS.",6.384824495892455,7.164417990291263,6.972524271844662,73.29678491411502,65.6990291262136,11.192830470500375,33.32188200149365,11.051253699011982,3.865447796863332,870,36,159,25,13,286,119,206,0.042,0.84,0.11800000000000001,0.958,1,0,2,0,0,0,34.0,0,2,0,4,11,8,0,3,7,0,21,8,0,0,1,34,29,9,0,9,7,0,0,2,0,4,6,1,0,0,23,5,2,0,11,0,2,0,4,3,0,2,5,2,18,5,23,15,3,12,0,0,1,1,11,7,0,8,7,112,41,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5571042897118814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13653542337775962,0.12793209602112424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688044146443763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933200208520099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982387175402692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259847515807123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609122677042115,0.0,0.13025872586595305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10200509570545913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11180268518390617,0.13074172432110634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424849588572598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11676933137587893,0.0,0.15448658398582527,0.14008105312102995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14074084566384534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08563410593218825,0.13498430539021927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07021295706489758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023989810040398,0.12483310248286172,0.0,0.11281346029144343,0.0,0.10728530950262467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12900008154111048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09391750073492763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17314549092312478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431192208765726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818456307304407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14472594262542793,0.0,0.12152798217868425,0.0,0.0,0.12929884006067527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10568349255251816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09605880232385283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818627523802171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18602001964128004,0.0,0.0,0.2722687973370507,0.0,0.0,0.08227255083816515
addiction,MintMango456,2020/02/05,"I can't stop popping my zits I keep getting zits and it's a bad habit to pop them. After I pop them I continue to scratch it and Idk why I do this. It could be stress, but it's become such a bad addiction. I do it without noticing. Any ideas on what to do?",-1.3705911330049254,0.498158689655174,1.4759113300492643,99.2387931034483,91.41379310344827,4.693596059113301,20.354679802955662,6.1826913282559595,-0.07600788177339934,196,7,50,2,7,68,38,58,0.18899999999999997,0.784,0.027000000000000003,-0.8251,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,2,0,1,3,0,1,2,0,6,3,0,0,0,8,8,3,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,9,0,6,6,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,34,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946897255457271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18382750894765326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4514133872905694,0.0,0.29854824026973314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158292744308501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141231534101251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30515943776117754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24027367203120045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3077621819448831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22600041006900554,0.3096517235311263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439226026806653,0.0,0.0,0.2605797398022897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,SubjectEscape,2020/02/05,"Update: 5 months sober, still feel like shit. I wrote a [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/addiction/comments/d1khg6/getting_sober_starting_tomorrow_how_long_until_i/) about 5 months ago right before I got sober from a slew of drugs, and I wanted to post a brief update here. My main motivation for getting sober was because I wanted to try an MAOI for my depression, and unfortunately it didn't help, so I've been taken off of it. As soon as my psychiatrist made that call, I heard a voice in the back of my head tell me, ""This means you can start using drugs again."" 

I don't know if I want to stay sober. I didn't feel any better, and my brain is so fucked up from all the substance use that I still feel like I'm living in a dissociated fog. My depression is worse than ever, so I wonder: was it worth it? At least when I did drugs I would listen to music, journal, and enjoy myself. Now I just feel completely dead inside and have no motivation or attention span. I'd get it if I were 30 days in and feeling this way, but at 5 months in, I gotta say I'm disappointed that I never got that ""cloud nine"" feeling of clarity. 

So yeah. I successfully stayed off hard drugs for 5 months without going inpatient or getting help for substance abuse, but I'm tempted to start using again in a week when the MAOI is fully out of my system and it's physically safe to use again. I know I'm rationalizing a bad decision. I just want to feel better, even if only for a little while.",5.617940947940952,6.18540620979021,6.2437296037296015,78.59798756798756,67.32167832167832,9.012898212898213,26.378399378399376,8.998388855275968,1.7750138306138306,1160,30,232,19,18,379,154,286,0.16399999999999998,0.735,0.10099999999999999,-0.9495,0,0,4,0,1,0,49.0,0,1,0,5,20,13,2,0,12,1,14,8,3,7,3,48,52,23,1,8,10,0,8,2,0,2,4,4,0,0,12,8,0,1,15,0,1,2,6,6,0,1,13,12,29,7,35,37,3,45,0,3,0,1,9,14,2,6,26,142,41,3,0.0,0.10891108621577138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148221998530042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625092784302606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07068140128949517,0.07675000677218685,0.05603405066392475,0.0,0.0782178084048679,0.0,0.0,0.16259290951386576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10261398382985966,0.09386138763158283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09637718269253047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05928129482605765,0.0,0.15834245593868138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4263956597887979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06071280431378029,0.08314760266339975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3253453367780296,0.13133643865097114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849792743885229,0.1440744316039535,0.0,0.052240694189806,0.0,0.14703488021028185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08234295844057476,0.0,0.09433723328697056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12322511443574267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103450692934446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981569417563927,0.0921287640203767,0.0811677275250207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697765892767922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012867040448728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29348113938504844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07089496765906818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699098907498166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760693845218879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784998387652586,0.0,0.07309908892926224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09435535359301676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130123993927903,0.1959506293112248,0.14681609774022414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034280806432392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062408171720514334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31756014190078985,0.0,0.0,0.21686901640507736,0.07296243185607093,0.07373330034205852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08860834595340429,0.0996841583454104,0.0,0.0,0.09367512173631724,0.06529788052692442,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,borchadingus,2020/02/05,"Can you replace one addiction with another, avoiding the withdrawals from the first one with the second? So once you quit the second one you experience compounded withdrawals?",9.96107142857143,12.535047250000002,7.9914285714285755,62.70357142857145,58.64285714285714,11.314285714285715,42.57142857142857,11.20814326018867,5.833657142857144,145,8,18,4,2,43,18,28,0.09300000000000001,0.907,0.0,-0.4137,0,1,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,3,0,2,1,1,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,18,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3385881927945668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32567997249910313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3038159427669646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26418710857006017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3307674787976415,0.6313900640669066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33034996256476856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,otis-driftwood,2020/02/05,"Pursuit of Happiness I starting drinking and smoking pot at the age of 13 and was introduced to hard drugs at a young age, meth at the age of 14. Nearly 40 years later I'm still an addict. I've bounced around from substance to substance, cocaine the last 8 years. I've managed to accomplish great things in my life, professional rock climber,  PhD in economics, amazing job making lots of money, two wonderful children, but none of it makes me happy and I have basically lost it all. I have an insatiable appetite for happiness. 15 years ago I broke my neck diving into a pond, drunk as fuck. I'm a c-7 quadriplegic because of my addiction and I still use nearly every day. Honestly can't believe I am still alive. What is it going to take for me to find it? . Are there addicts out there that have found it?  Happiness without drugs? I'm so tired, I just want peace in my life.",3.35372549019608,5.453831235294121,4.447647058823531,83.36107843137256,74.88235294117645,7.5921568627450995,28.98039215686275,8.447377352677275,2.2686392156862745,690,30,131,13,15,225,111,170,0.106,0.68,0.215,0.9662,1,0,5,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,2,8,10,1,0,8,0,8,12,1,3,1,19,22,7,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,8,0,0,1,8,7,2,0,3,3,1,1,3,3,0,1,3,1,13,7,27,19,3,27,0,2,0,1,1,11,1,2,15,80,21,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3950341830256577,0.0,0.0,0.10707234092972646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10752799994387192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07363197734970496,0.0,0.0,0.13608806920457125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789904363818705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11832743453363817,0.2801542561315716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177011357334682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11039914374949716,0.0,0.0,0.13243912710528807,0.0,0.1116676722962404,0.0,0.0,0.06864728795687666,0.0,0.0,0.1331705233200035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5143294129138479,0.10820340094933673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11986464642801338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09845932240076036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706339732349347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13185568430504033,0.10269066138213644,0.0,0.0,0.16125546260547302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549521996025376,0.0,0.2893872419169957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908184486559987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08024697961755223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13882942065311982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179935004953616,0.0,0.0,0.1043230897041947,0.0,0.0,0.07124460178492911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11643648183436366,0.13099073871058164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333528605396291
addiction,lurker9441,2020/02/05,My codeine use I take codeine regularly usually 90-120mg every 6 hours. My GP writes me up for 56x 30mg tablets every week. I say it's for pain but really it's the only thing that helps with my low mood and anxiety. When I try and take less or quit taking it I end up with migraines and the cycle begins again. I haven't gone a day without codeine for the last 10months. The thing is I don't even feel like I want to quit.. I'm worried how I'd cope without it. My antidepressants don't really do much. I guess I'm posting here to see if anyone else has had similar struggles with codeine. Thank you for reading.,1.543604651162788,3.4165667131782937,3.2381589147286824,90.99351744186049,79.54263565891472,6.470542635658915,24.703488372093023,7.492282038375204,1.0698418604651163,482,18,107,7,12,160,85,129,0.127,0.807,0.066,-0.7554,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,2,5,6,0,1,5,0,7,2,0,2,0,17,20,8,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,7,6,0,0,1,1,0,1,5,3,0,0,2,3,14,2,13,18,2,14,0,1,1,0,4,3,0,3,10,59,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12072133527654637,0.0,0.0,0.11034178634636103,0.1616911330016907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177196442954356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13182685728905674,0.0,0.13976948186959393,0.0,0.0,0.10422952769789892,0.0,0.2659171125818537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07979157226827363,0.11273680342095238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738413553928271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057741906614731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15540735052922436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12863314091079578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07709615368286485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11600573767946885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12001875018992005,0.16791695664073472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511347482479142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33569270422263225,0.15784893625605922,0.0,0.2021894257072192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12549384928533722,0.0,0.0,0.12575113538226595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16497333672542594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35595194091575644,0.0,0.0,0.14528677616618024,0.0,0.0,0.20967889652530533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071400726163156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13629391682737838,0.1738012694644804,0.0,0.09307820404483658,0.0,0.12658264030336913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3042391519615282,0.0,0.0,0.16025988833594926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,aparadiselost,2020/02/05,"POEM — How I Wish I wish I could love you enough

To fill that void in your heart

Bring colour back to your cheeks

And rebuild you part by part

I wish I could protect you enough 

Drape you in warm sheets of care

So the cold world wouldn't get to you

Of its cruelty you've had your share

I wish I could guide you enough 

Be your light on roads of recovery

I have to wear a mask of bravery

Losing you would be the death of me

I see the defeat in your eyes

But I promise a new sun will rise

Please take my hand,

I understand...

With you til the very end I will stand.

But the shifted eyes choke my breath,

Your heart still sways to the dance of death.

There are demons here that I can't see.

I couldn't save you,

I always knew.

You had to want it...

Want it too.

.
(I wrote this about drug addiction for my sister and another good friend, just to express my feelings. Everyone take care okay! And remember to want it too!)",0.6199674185463664,2.8082579842105275,1.3533082706766921,101.47482456140352,84.94736842105263,5.0927318295739346,16.416040100250626,6.42735559955562,-0.6366591478696746,707,14,171,7,21,216,107,190,0.096,0.6559999999999999,0.248,0.9776,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,16,0,2,10,12,0,0,8,1,15,11,8,1,0,27,35,8,2,13,3,1,3,0,1,4,2,0,1,0,7,4,0,1,4,1,0,4,3,2,0,0,4,10,37,10,23,21,5,16,1,2,5,1,22,6,0,0,5,109,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252634894228251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561022499949713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048798705488115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835490792491714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343067584445131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752270509404953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13325340391144289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177178841742562,0.3561829672155208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109796720722701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05809945706142769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877537381763556,0.0,0.06003315774005929,0.0,0.0,0.09637692300342288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723261278222672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12854938431437704,0.0,0.0,0.10370631393613022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097603483742967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488619917471025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12613126402986075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13016504750049168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831289316120608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091763339160489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17278862850022045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11962023259990595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948087184727067,0.20332196617491688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5285406495854481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08162526656791262,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,trash8743,2020/02/05,"Addicted to Nicotine I’ve been going through so much shit lately and it’s all too much. I couldn’t help myself I had to smoke. I’ve read so many articles of how to stop and lately and the articles really don’t help me at all. I want to stop. I want to focus on my life. I know Nicotine isn’t a drug but it’s fucking with my brain and fucking up my life. 

Should I go to a family member for help? I don’t know what to do. It all feels like shit and I can’t do anything about it.",-1.1836538461538453,0.7272550648148126,1.7444444444444436,97.35269230769232,90.94444444444444,5.1749287749287785,16.641025641025642,6.67199483983844,-0.2948427350427352,369,9,92,5,13,129,59,108,0.107,0.769,0.125,-0.0404,0,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,4,0,3,0,10,9,3,1,3,20,19,9,0,4,1,0,1,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,5,6,0,2,3,1,0,2,5,4,0,0,2,1,13,1,15,15,5,9,0,0,0,2,3,3,4,0,5,61,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18068920510939093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13639604337140007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18502899000487996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19221444126952367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15625196146233478,0.0,0.08380689985635717,0.11841002408950277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3064617262599745,0.0,0.0,0.18839621116592647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3332911015094014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821809472261985,0.0,0.3739407261817787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23414467643531675,0.08097584052218568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16804191722034958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436869199112583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16579232138409755,0.0,0.1061820720569811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3402747876121142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771446094643601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19552430171367452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ApolloInThePalace,2020/02/05,"Stim (crystal meth) withdrawal question: If you have any stimulant or meth experience please read this and drop your opinion!

So, long story short I relapsed and have been on a sort of binge for the last 4 days. 
Haven’t really done a TON in this relapse—I’d estimate I’ve shot about 1.25g - 1.5g across like 4 days (basically like one shot per day of about 300mg or 0.3g, plus one extra somewhere)—although the effects of the crystal are naturally more noticeable and intense given I had been clean from them. So, until this afternoon, I hadn’t really gotten any decent sleep. But I’ve kept up on my fluids better than usual and I’ve consumed a good amount protein / food in general compared to usual, etc. 

Withdrawal for me is a terrible thing. I don’t get why, but some others need to be on meth for a long period of time to get withdrawal... not me. I’m lucky enough to get it basically no matter how much I’ve done (possibly bc prescription meds I take). I’m a full time student, though, and I also work a part time job..... I literally can not afford to be bone-tired / so exhausted that I cannot function for like 7-10 days, I’ll fall too far behind and I’ve already had that happen before. Not fun. 

UltimTsly my question is: in addition to hyper-loading on protein (to encourage and allow my body / brain to start producing neurotransmitters like dopamine on its own again), plus vitamins and minerals (I usually buy some Ensure nutrition drinks), do you think it would be at all valuable for me to use adderall to sort of taper off? Here’s what I’m thinking:

I have a half of one adderall already and I also have a friend who is prescribed it and who would give me one or two more pills if I asked her (but she wouldn’t give me a lot, and I would explain why I need it—she is supportive). My thinking is that i can cut them in half to have a couple half strength addy to take on days 3, 4, 5 of acute withdrawal when the tiredness really gets me. Addy, being weaker but pretty similar to meth in pharmacology and mechanism of action, I am willing to bet would NOT get me high or really stimulate me as much as it would simply balance it out a little bit and help me feel “normal” and thus enable me to keep being productive and not fall behind. I’m hoping that a low addy dose can do this on the worst days of withdrawal. 

So... thoughts on the idea? I mean I’m pretty sure I’m going to try it but wanted to know if anyone had opinions first. Thanks for reading.",4.35635174069628,5.3416132714285744,5.659567827130853,80.15522208883556,70.36734693877551,8.948379351740693,28.28931572629052,9.247498795725024,2.345422569027611,1933,68,379,39,34,649,248,490,0.064,0.79,0.146,0.987,2,0,5,0,0,0,70.0,0,3,2,7,14,21,1,0,19,0,40,9,3,8,2,81,78,41,0,14,17,0,1,4,1,7,4,0,1,0,20,19,2,2,12,3,2,4,11,5,0,9,12,1,38,16,61,54,18,51,0,1,0,0,18,24,0,19,26,248,58,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17659121607775555,0.12797168054309654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882227137879484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05594648927806144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07480073805819623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808460909035667,0.0,0.0,0.07076441357072295,0.08735275346864453,0.08887567347311623,0.0,0.08932023433969513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853213357023185,0.0,0.3096080445294957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637608092775028,0.0,0.07838163326349377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267413700525905,0.08923491063583025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07826742276220937,0.0,0.0,0.04045664376298957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805845646697559,0.09675124046054637,0.0,0.06181733625615497,0.0,0.20901572919081396,0.1535102567769752,0.045472857333349305,0.06711055555648493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07075464899161951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05363058565285672,0.08453743135654566,0.0,0.0794703084100955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903241939684437,0.0,0.0,0.0793999024368945,0.07111864511639683,0.0,0.0,0.04397269016612616,0.06522073710298001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563599531317692,0.08019338578034987,0.0,0.141616808067333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06802363113646354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715689588155746,0.08887567347311623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11763655409575575,0.11865627418877188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07839510605132041,0.0,0.09109458066276983,0.0,0.0,0.2168737322653164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08664556826766645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782952327483011,0.0,0.090201892517259,0.0,0.16280263171304502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17926426743730492,0.0,0.16006798715551632,0.0,0.20503181817192667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08007012505776935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0566331468532034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079705649332656,0.0754106845814043,0.0,0.12031864569987408,0.0,0.0,0.07366461368960228,0.0,0.0,0.05315664411787737,0.15380603226414669,0.07861171888779825,0.06352086136970034,0.13996751861620846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054323127460199086,0.0,0.07816043100870347,0.0,0.0,0.0691049729112836,0.2643668689960998,0.0,0.04719335183019175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443973854418929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05824993726458603,0.0,0.0,0.2841923572629643,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,boobysharts123,2020/02/05,"Am I addicted to my Adderall? Hello! 

I have been on Adderall for over 4 years for my ADD/ADHD.
It gives me energy and does definitely help me focus, it works with no doubt.

But recently, my mom has been worried about me, saying I'm becoming addicted.
In my head, I know how it could look like addiction, but I always play it off.

I will admit that I am dependent on Adderall, definitely. I feel like I can't do much without it.
When I am in control of dosing out my Adderall, I will almost always take an extra pill or two because I feel like they have worn off, when really they haven't.

Unlike most other addicts to this substance, it really does help me focus like it should. Of course I absolutely LOVE the euphoria it gives me, who wouldnt? But it also helps me a lot! 

I always have to take my adderall at an even time, going by 5's. Ex: 5:35, if I miss a minute, I'll wait till 5:40. 
After taking it, I always keep track of how much time has passed. When an hour passes, my mind tells me it has stopped working and worn off. 

Why I don't think I'm addicted is the fact I've been on this medication for almost 5 years, I've never wanted anything else or a higher dose  (unless it didn't work at all), i don't actively seek extra illegally or sneak extra pills when my mom keeps it. I don't crush or snort it to get an effect faster, or any of that. I take it orally, and use caffeine to boost it.
Maybe I'm just a caffeine addict? Haha! 

When I am unable to take my adderall, or run out early (which happens occasionally, not often), I never really get phased much. I don't go around looking for it, I dont freak out or anything, I just wait. Sometimes I will get annoyed or get upset, but as time passes, I'm okay. 

Since I assume most here have had addiction experience, I would love to hear what you all think! Is this dependence, or am I becoming addicted? 

I will add that i do not want to try an illegal drugs because of Adderall. I am fine with what I have and never seek a ""better high"", or that ""first high"", because I enjoy what I have. 

Additionally, my dosage currently is one 20 mg Adderall XR tablet in the morning, and two 10 mg IR pills in the afternoon/evening as a booster. 

Thank you all!!",3.0373732477400743,4.260262220489981,4.8818976811214485,83.5829225075331,73.78841870824053,7.776785012445959,25.009891261627146,8.313332769828598,1.4998386741779122,1703,53,353,28,34,583,208,449,0.07200000000000001,0.759,0.16899999999999998,0.9940000000000001,1,0,2,0,0,0,76.0,0,2,2,7,15,18,1,2,15,2,40,18,1,7,7,74,80,32,0,7,21,3,2,4,0,7,15,2,0,0,30,13,0,6,8,1,0,6,16,5,0,4,7,7,55,13,44,65,12,47,0,1,2,2,20,19,0,21,26,239,85,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5872987860126341,0.08093158758352323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13486588790065746,0.0,0.0,0.053853100327959605,0.2241346194782263,0.0,0.0,0.045794637326069136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11083289486006287,0.05994835372129765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12315255074946416,0.1487471430772833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059558224874447785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552939668362263,0.053766835026437435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117862279099339,0.0,0.07892392274832281,0.0,0.07809494481376529,0.0,0.05625531495510018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889570612369196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06587306429885696,0.0,0.0,0.06809993230547849,0.09621778921074772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057280780696598026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140732949495886,0.12920051099582516,0.0765436333344755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059550006605282514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06911197014602274,0.0,0.0758989438730254,0.0,0.13541308346753567,0.1423003199767745,0.0,0.0,0.06631796911603159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11971272126420415,0.0,0.0,0.03700921461931087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13159893200659342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310006616618838,0.0,0.0,0.057251470274009834,0.1215569527824366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06765374774380263,0.0,0.0,0.06783963668463508,0.0,0.0,0.06799587858478592,0.15773947412338335,0.0,0.0,0.14851160326414725,0.0,0.1558141165785119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04563245091655233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12942237330451756,0.0,0.06649176404931928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05355279008885665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05570571616830383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660262261776495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056300642237393124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531627337666108,0.0,0.05885957812116691,0.06199915191878039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629963182911209,0.0,0.0,0.11780238863325372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04572056600065418,0.0,0.13156603132583736,0.0,0.0,0.05816157174085099,0.0,0.0,0.0794397104152467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06076537287230931,0.0,0.0,0.06491495612969114,0.0,0.14707658924041506,0.06838872349994499,0.0,0.047837582387511665,0.0,0.0,0.08673164095434642
addiction,lillian_42,2020/02/06,Xanax I think I’m getting addicted to Xanax. A couple years back I would get panic attacks every time I went to nursing clinicals and actually thought it was asthma attacks. At urgent care she prescribed a short supply for anxiety. I actually didn’t take it awhile after that but ordered some off the darknet for the one time I was gonna try MDMA (the Xanax was supposed to help with comedown). The MDMA hasn’t even come but now I find that on days I don’t take Xanax and just take my regular meds I hate myself and feel like I deserve to die. I already struggled with those issues but feel like withdrawals make it worse. Any advice for getting off Xanax ?,4.288359374999999,6.004266117187503,4.889500000000002,82.80550000000002,71.421875,6.995000000000001,29.20625,7.554174236665415,1.847581875,525,21,96,6,10,168,83,128,0.183,0.7170000000000001,0.099,-0.91,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,4,8,3,2,6,0,7,8,0,1,0,18,24,6,1,1,4,0,2,2,0,2,8,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,5,0,0,2,3,5,0,1,6,2,13,3,14,16,1,15,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,9,58,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.2914938424470407,0.16281674568148685,0.0,0.14594596062097268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16481467889364254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156511808535056,0.0,0.11425458732734785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33982105223056297,0.0,0.11484318886218985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15227527221576212,0.0,0.0,0.1286543298462033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16525618306770185,0.0,0.09632028813095876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15500476789476744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09864620571970613,0.0,0.12583629021216694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15103466410188074,0.2133955347985237,0.0,0.0,0.1365058778481581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340922344074209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14745510377496468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10010812484989733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15588566218806288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14593260095049387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09969424459812076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16589744280913896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10120541479264566,0.0,0.0,0.17523349063756166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15613611682144055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33688446225792706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09569933085217873,0.0,0.1185695483866539,0.17417779622071994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140083983462564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384516680772024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15220340147460226,0.10609604066761492,0.0,0.0,0.09617839412661804
addiction,scrummerz,2020/02/06,"Question on addiction: Why can't people just suddenly stop with the things/substances that they are addicted to? Is addiction really that bad? Hi, I have a curious question regarding addiction. Why can't people just say 'starting today, no more alcohol, cigarettes, drugs etc'. Is addiction really that bad? I have been clean my whole life and no intentions of becoming addicted to any substance, and I am just mentally curious about this. Any analogies to non-addicts on how they could understand this? Also can't they just distract themselves so they won't think about the substances?",6.9868564356435625,9.450197326732674,6.975334158415843,67.53943688118811,65.83168316831683,12.17871287128713,38.367574257425744,11.698219412168324,5.7892663366336645,474,26,69,18,8,151,64,101,0.142,0.7709999999999999,0.086,-0.7863,0,0,3,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,4,0,9,3,0,1,3,0,12,9,0,2,0,15,15,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,9,1,1,0,5,3,1,1,4,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,1,1,8,0,9,12,3,6,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,2,4,51,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8138157294951504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11397165894128933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528440703732344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14504526075782426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17808915772170444,0.0,0.11778163019943864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08514779308114617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12367497916543473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893797765736805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07532690517053939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747363013150464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478691915548893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23893484381057395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366397390607712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08480882103553042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07548426851215033,0.0,0.0,0.0891604542690306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06833416166630574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10108751075318724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102177760794456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924620407091466,0.11906594697105588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,esmayeres,2020/02/06,"Underlayered addiction Been seeing posts here about drug/alcohol addiction although my heart goes out for the people suffering from it. I would like to grasp your attention about another kind of addiction  unseen one. the one that doesn’t feel like addiction, the small little behaviors we induce into our day without even knowing
Im talking about phone,sex,food,.. addiction 
I want to start living healthier although i don’t drink, my health is still deteriorating because of bad diets and long hours on my phone .
So i came in here to ask for advice on how to start over and stop my smoking and junk food addiction",8.993783783783783,9.032727252252254,8.527702702702705,66.87371621621622,60.261261261261254,12.445045045045047,37.41891891891892,11.855464076750405,4.726308108108109,499,21,81,14,6,159,79,111,0.08,0.863,0.057,-0.5423,0,0,3,0,0,0,11.0,2,1,0,0,9,5,0,0,3,0,5,11,1,2,0,17,13,7,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,1,7,0,0,0,2,7,3,1,5,1,0,1,3,2,0,2,2,2,11,3,19,10,0,17,0,1,1,0,6,8,0,0,9,53,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.739570435789458,0.0,0.11048957448692874,0.0,0.1208362173629532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856255096644815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10570411432923643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09440776931890857,0.06892572328737416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12932064588155825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07292005619591417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107644301230097,0.13112397242977356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468091099161334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057171009387275075,0.08077641113525715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27344661158771616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018690334129987,0.0,0.13398713514367327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11135004416363113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12213376389185596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11774381083706788,0.062139684571935576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11047946043991977,0.1133246949031385,0.09984186866676732,0.10006237678593756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15323676199923067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07838770593492526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10828870600235767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09010123672244784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16006143215159088,0.0,0.09029693201788942,0.09453062394908356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09088046102417836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06669093897920242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10899433936637144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08032086902738242,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,SleepParalysisDemon6,2020/02/06,"Just Wanted To Get This Off My Chest So I go to the Methadone Clinic 2 times a week and when I go I ride share with these Women and we've become really good friends. My one friend Tammy had two children and back in the early 2000s her 2 early teenaged children were killed by this woman who was drunk and high and somehow she got out of doing and jail time at all and just had to go to rehab and be on probation even though she 3 people (the guy driving the car that was hit was Tammy's Friend). You can imagine what that did to my poor friend Tammy.. This is why she actually got started and got hooked on opiates in the 1st place. Well this woman also goes to our clinic and everytime she see Tammy she walks past her, looks her dead in the eye and smirks. It is the most cold fucking disrespectful cunt ass shit I have ever witnessed in my whole life. And she does this Tammy all the time. We were even in group one time and she was asked by the head nurse and the counselor to not go to the Friday group because that is the only group the people who ride with state transportation (us) have to go to. Well this bitch showed up anyway and looked at Tammy and smiled while she sat down and I had to take Tammy out of the room because she was about to hit her for smiling at her like that. And if she hits her she will be banned from the clinic. And even though she was asked not to go to the group she someone talked her way into being able to stay and Tammy and I just sat in the front while Tammy was crying her eyes out to the counselor. Well today the guy driving the van and to drop is off for 20 minutes and come back.. So me and Tammy are sitting inside because it's cold out and this Bitch walks in and Tammy started getting really upset. And I guess the girl didn't notice her at first so she didn't do her smirk thing. So I ended standing up between Tammy and the door so when she came out I could block her from seeing Tammy. So she came out and went to look at Tammy and started to do her smirk but instead I looked her dead in her eyes and she put her head down and walked put real quick.. Then I followed outside not saying anything and she about ran to her car.. And her boyfriend (who is also a pos) was still inside so she sat in her car. The other 2 women we ride with were outside smoking a cigarette and I walked up to them and told them what happened and I pointed at her and the other woman pointed at her too and we all turned and smoked (them a cigarette and me a vape) and mean mugged the shit out of her.. You could tell she was scared, like she thought we were going to jump her or something.. I don't know.. The whole situation made me mad a shit and I doubt that this minor incident will stop her from being a cunt and smiling at Tammy.. but every time I see her, I don't say anything, I just give her a cold stare. And now she has to go to the clinic everyday because she pissed dirty so poor Tammy has to see her almost everyday (because Tammy is newer to the clinic). Pieces of Shit like this give addicts a worse name. Like everything wrong I did in my addiction I  am truly upset about. This bitch has no remorse. Like Tammy even asked to talk to her for closure.. and she said I don't want to talk to that bitch. (This was the day of the group incident where apparently the counselor came into the group and asked her of she would talk with her while me and Tammy where in the front and a girl in the group told us what she said). I just can't imagine, in my addiction, Killing 3 people, two of them young teenagers who just really started life and not care one bit and smile in the face of the mother who lost her babies... I don't care how cold you are.. Like who could do that? Even serial killers don't laugh in the face of the family of who they killed. I don't know, I just had to get this off my chest.",3.604962121212118,4.4092626022727295,4.194939393939396,90.63490909090912,71.96717171717171,6.82060606060606,22.985858585858587,6.6590880762095805,0.4425916161616161,2999,68,658,21,55,951,277,792,0.16899999999999998,0.7759999999999999,0.055,-0.9988,3,0,5,0,0,0,67.0,7,3,5,2,45,40,16,4,48,0,58,28,15,2,4,115,122,74,5,7,15,1,0,6,4,3,11,4,2,11,35,72,1,3,6,2,2,33,14,22,3,6,40,20,107,18,99,69,8,122,0,1,12,2,120,49,13,7,40,466,142,0,0.05664595835223685,0.0,0.05527828407405429,0.18525736758428027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056722744798034165,0.0,0.0,0.0905995048573255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322959435087884,0.0,0.2118252976681929,0.0,0.0,0.08711449085306533,0.0,0.17265425221373448,0.06256101055312359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061842715346056634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943636570984024,0.11550865959065547,0.0,0.0,0.0487954773445178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13568156526203753,0.0,0.062222925360645186,0.036531956933980515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04957125988441954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05017150568887449,0.0,0.0,0.18707060625447786,0.051239512371917074,0.047726663031910095,0.0,0.05090973481451065,0.0,0.05340076817329858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04818302323681143,0.0,0.0,0.17505810762625207,0.05236827571583066,0.08878552578999692,0.10867992977423717,0.2575456283055896,0.047511942316565636,0.13591484280317845,0.0,0.062401909446802316,0.11217680926719996,0.050091833894732735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11627019125755055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05984956507806328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18801108035936195,0.0,0.062262274581194876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08002143120839084,0.16604612371815616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902733534668468,0.0,0.061835755043479636,0.0,0.0,0.053599775434860115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06170405497731465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06449179903090567,0.0,0.0,0.11515430216520155,0.04308180389151981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05407497687099996,0.1178135253903716,0.0,0.059182970000434834,0.0,0.10709748046936793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388966772535696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06447550198336766,0.10886655426931384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10776655637383296,0.09009427936797354,0.0567124862779217,0.0,0.18055797931912626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23258504889710596,0.0,0.06367243056053154,0.0,0.0,0.047995936688767456,0.043608826210684654,0.0,0.0,0.1603772035074433,0.06037705461890045,0.04523753551266375,0.04735855762058132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04259071100438328,0.1821195024510476,0.04951106437153602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03763305769306435,0.0,0.11130873294766608,0.04497056351672735,0.16515356924959712,0.0,0.053693745079861216,0.10825528142955478,0.0,0.0,0.06161453639081449,0.11066974066092602,0.0,0.13627622652969767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06682250776464592,0.04496292508767614,0.04543797095862905,0.0,0.1527945583943241,0.052511370904095515,0.05111416669769445,0.12648637911295238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057727070960540035,0.040239663561485804,0.061933463026653236,0.0,0.0
addiction,lukestorm22,2020/02/06,"I've reached a new low on 5 things a day I've stopped looking for help recently as I realised that even when I'm given help, it's up to me to stop and I haven't so there's no use asking.

I am just curious if anyone else has been this bad?

I started the day at 4.30am. I was sucking fentanyl patches all morning, I arrived at work at 9am and downed 2 beers. I then did a big line of ketamine. Now today seems to be following the exact same path as yesterday which means that at 12pm I'll be picking up some liquor and down that on lunch, and then I'll do a few lines of coke (I have about 2 g on me) until I get home, at which point I'll smoke a spliff, while on k still, while coming down from the coke, while still high from the front, and while still drunkish . ..
Amazingly I manage to function well and am actually heading for a promotion at work, but I do worry that continuing this kind of day next week...
Anyone been as bad?",4.721060606060603,3.966430803030306,5.6734343434343435,86.44681818181817,69.25252525252526,8.816161616161617,29.61616161616161,8.00094639256281,1.6650040404040407,721,23,167,8,11,239,120,198,0.094,0.853,0.053,-0.8863,0,0,2,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,3,11,7,1,0,10,0,13,6,1,2,2,20,25,20,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,10,7,5,2,2,2,0,3,2,4,1,0,5,1,13,3,31,18,4,47,0,1,1,0,3,19,1,3,25,106,23,4,0.0,0.0,0.15067003967489292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21591714796131475,0.15819885396259056,0.0,0.0,0.1443411573750024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578315286052109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13300008548754172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29872154099087744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289796005350565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197833068989184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08066650956708403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15845674864214065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20697926263267166,0.16312981663389578,0.1548736428992021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607816123129376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12965531671315356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16818453335271746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14911841577103968,0.16420387623206265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14595588395782524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15244926053293587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405580134080696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928360033319404,0.0,0.3699069924831436,0.258167049689151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10257507791134428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14635111847246102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333501784784849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12384865054623885,0.0,0.13882221901424804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22480696260644298,0.15679852197371147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,bendadestroyer,2020/02/06,"Porn Addiction Help I don't think porn or masturbation are bad but I do recognize that I am addicted to how it makes me feel. I'd like to take control of my impulses and cut back to maybe just a couple times a week or less (as opposed to once or twice per day).   

What general tips do you have?
What techniques do you use to stop yourself when you get an urge?

Thank you so much!",1.7412115732368894,3.45951541772152,3.3000361663652846,91.50405063291142,78.36708860759494,7.552260397830018,23.943942133815554,8.418075326091056,1.3086802893309222,294,10,68,6,7,97,61,79,0.09300000000000001,0.7979999999999999,0.109,0.3187,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,4,0,1,5,4,1,0,3,0,7,4,0,4,0,15,14,9,0,0,5,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,9,2,7,14,2,6,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,3,7,43,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.51320951580132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18099679213692102,0.19653692157794506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640046669528375,0.0,0.2604493946257306,0.0,0.15180406728628565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11901789725083975,0.16815932941928147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12297912168087055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15777382746151913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149973842677444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571215380341481,0.0,0.2364762056293076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730353040446688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506776982320173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19679267882112944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17698047686753554,0.0,0.0,0.2167111902434294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15082541738439093,0.0,0.0,0.13725508099247802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20329735243637134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18881191646046447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,thenardwrangler,2020/02/06,"It's not my problem. I can admit that I have a drug habit.  I can proclaim that I am a drug addict.  But it bugs me when people tell me I have a drug problem.  It's not a problem for me, it's a problem for them.  And when I tell them that I don't see my drug use as a problem... well, that usually doesn't go over well.  They are the ones who have a drug problem; they have a problem with people using drugs.  And now it's my problem and I need to fix it. 

I don't need these laws constantly over my head to function in a society.  I can see right through the illusion they've created to make themselves needed.  I don't need these laws to know what is right and what is wrong.  I have a simple rule I follow.  Is what I am doing harming anybody other than myself?  In my eyes there are lots of things worse than using drugs, things that are perfectly fine and dandy to do such as: lying, cheating on your significant other,  and deceptive manipulation. Hell, some of these harmful, hurtful actions seem like they are encouraged and celebrated by our society.  We're groomed to be addicts - money addicts.  Anything is ok as long as it's in pursuit of the all might dollar!!  Cha-fucking-ching.

What's worse, the drugs I had in my possesion, or the cops, testing me to see how well I knew my rights?  After seeing I did not know my rights, they proceeded to violate them, because they knew they could.  But I'm the bad guy? No one ever taught me my rights, imagine that!  My buddy got arrested for being homeless and incapacitated on bars.  They took the 300$ in drugs he had just purchased and 80% of the 300$ in cash he had ""for fees"". You know, the price of his luxury vacation behind bars.  He's still there.  And I suppose he's the criminal?  Yeah.... Right!  

I'm not stupid.  Does anybody really think that old white men would let the Mexican's run the show?  C'mon people... The US owns the Cartel.  They make all the money selling 'em to us, and then they make all the money arresting us and expecting us to pay $3,000 for a damn prescription pill? But I'm the bad guy... I'm the lowlife with the problem.  I don't have a problem,  I just live inside of a problem!  All the bad shit througout history is brilliantly orchestrated by the owners of this planet, corruption in pursuit of the all mighty, shitty, green paper with their faces printed on it. Distinguished by discreet reminders - remining us that they own us, and we had better act the way they want, and think the way they want - or else pay the fuckin price.

It's easy for non-addicts - they don't wanna use drugs!  Then they expect addicts like me to suffer through the rest of my days sober.  Fuck that. I habe a traumatized brain, it want's to feel satisfied as quickly as possible, and I comply.  Look, I'll admit that I could be better. I hate how selfish being an addict is, and I know it is not good for me spiritually.  The issue is that a lot of other shit isn't either.... but they pick on the addicts. Druggies are the lowest subset of people, it's encouraged to look down on druggies and treat 'em like shit.  I try to be good,  but you know they gotta be so damn expensive that life just becomes about losing everything just to get that next high... It consumes all the time I have just to get my next fix.  

It's not like I'm not functional. I can work, there's just no time. All day is a quest to get my next fix.  I smoke heroin and meth everyday for the last 3 years.  And yeah, I lost all the stupid, material shit, and all the money I had.  Y'know what though... That shit doesn't really have much of an effect on anything. It doesn't make me happy.  I used these drugs to get off of booze.  I hate fuckin booze. It should be illegal too, if everything else is!  Alcohol is the worst - and I haven't had a drink in years!

Heroin and meth saved my life.  I'm sorry that's not what you wanna hear. It's not my problem. Fuck it.",2.2447362637362644,4.143662279487181,3.672124542124543,88.58192307692309,77.48717948717949,6.764835164835166,23.32234432234432,7.7094869923839395,1.0387652014652011,2998,95,631,45,70,986,301,780,0.163,0.738,0.099,-0.9962,1,0,18,0,0,0,133.0,8,4,20,7,25,61,18,0,53,3,62,39,9,14,11,124,119,44,0,28,24,0,1,4,0,4,21,1,0,3,50,26,6,0,16,4,14,6,21,42,3,2,13,11,91,19,78,92,18,58,1,4,9,4,49,25,12,8,29,421,141,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2998676258428756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04199526937295703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06467420543687065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09843107778371436,0.023954360533190677,0.043399133901871424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06950789972324993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04386711892649184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04246480960959173,0.0,0.06274901216972824,0.0,0.0,0.050685092093547116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03438802740536896,0.0,0.0,0.03849493290563714,0.5012772933457993,0.0,0.06565321244952904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03554530911240848,0.0,0.0,0.0706330789285308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01986914181806025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07265668472767284,0.08212175364476003,0.0,0.022332713917689883,0.0659189206921042,0.031428448325431985,0.0,0.0,0.0778180582926794,0.0,0.041831119553018416,0.0,0.07759295221725412,0.04032883703898783,0.0,0.044289232855311306,0.0,0.0,0.04151817986677247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0420669764406302,0.0,0.0,0.0410146153909086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12957569423961848,0.032031329206873745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04018262723823772,0.05551158424916062,0.0767917897896037,0.0,0.034698919420542665,0.034775554539264265,0.06599716558329714,0.04396195897091097,0.0428960176526641,0.0668157834321518,0.0,0.0,0.10492103100402272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0416866436531287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02888694116607275,0.1165493783058753,0.0,0.0,0.12537461652747542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04123434144642255,0.0,0.0532557145401868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897106506991956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044300120523650885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4512093882097113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050347803148707335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013504378819755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525468901861989,0.03577342881154125,0.0,0.0,0.20168291703199706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04398844115891448,0.0,0.0,0.031381683955339086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06869253847681601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05221277903020085,0.050358335628509006,0.03860793298360665,0.0,0.04582740465900224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04365908985666901,0.026679274974724183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2836081203219385,0.1696948114568517,0.04327878211922069,0.0,0.0695330590849587,0.06238236848309485,0.0,0.0,0.10599495501438157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028607817079032143,0.0,0.08009157333710057,0.02791461537515054,0.0429637985565776,0.0,0.05061042547016915
addiction,Helene31,2020/02/06,"How would you describe craving? And what helps you with it? Hey guys, i really need help. I m writing my seminary work. Just please answer these questions and share. Thank you very much.",1.6286274509803889,4.226683235294118,1.5435294117647054,94.08921568627451,99.0,4.6196078431372545,20.37254901960784,6.42735559955562,0.5212901960784313,146,5,27,2,6,43,30,34,0.0,0.6679999999999999,0.332,0.8987,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,3,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,10,3,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,10,0,0,1,0,16,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3246676343151336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4395622578617284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410405773866904,0.24313001227266426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35993028127175697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3673174793331442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21005795441175373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30188169235654033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705477422220821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387114892801996,0.0,0.0,0.23292722371921645,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Spookylittlegirl03,2020/02/06,"Moment of clarity with addict boyfriend This evening I had a moment of clarity; my addict boyfriend is not going to change no matter how much I love him. We have been together 7 years since college, had plans to get married and buy a house, the whole life thing seemed pretty set. Two months ago we separated to take some time to think about what we really want (he mentioned he had changed his mind about wanting children and we agreed to take some time apart to think things through). Until living alone again, I hadn’t realized how much I was suffering silently over the past 3-4 years from his daily drug and alcohol abuse. I beat myself up about my conflicting battle of thoughts constantly, going from feeling like an idiot by staying with him for so long to feeling guilty because “love conquers all”. Well, I’m not so sure it does anymore. I called him tonight and he was literally drinking and smoking while talking, seemed out of it but said he was “tired” and didn’t contribute more than a few distracted words to the conversation. After hanging up I just felt empty, lonelier than I had before calling him. In the past year I lost my two favorite uncles to alcoholism and I am having such strong remorse for them and thinking of what I will end up with if I stay with my partner. I feel like such a fool for staying for so long, especially with the family history and how I should’ve seen it coming sooner. I don’t know if this is even the right place to post this, but I just wanted to share and hopefully learn that I am not alone, because I feel very alone and scared about being 28 and having to start my life over again. It doesn’t help that I love him so much, and am incredibly sad that I am watching my best friend poison himself and his surroundings every day, first hand knowing the consequences in store for him eventually. Has anyone else eventually found comfort when moving on from an addicted partner, and have any solid advice on how to do this?",9.34373176470588,7.506241365333338,8.49454117647059,73.45009411764707,60.68,11.59686274509804,37.792156862745095,10.194018383442646,3.657928627450982,1572,59,291,26,17,492,211,375,0.13699999999999998,0.7040000000000001,0.16,0.8683,0,3,4,0,1,0,30.0,4,0,1,7,22,22,3,2,13,0,26,15,1,4,2,67,58,30,0,6,9,0,6,2,3,1,10,1,0,3,15,26,3,1,16,1,2,5,8,9,1,3,16,9,42,13,51,40,10,49,0,3,2,3,34,14,0,7,27,202,57,2,0.0,0.09949065359632964,0.0,0.2746189024399436,0.0,0.08205445812410682,0.07443428951536359,0.17947666797570852,0.0,0.2609026160803822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05710244184453825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08327562173998627,0.058713737729041815,0.08603713144876025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10237459781016173,0.0,0.07145223825658524,0.0,0.08812127642325772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714854038719953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17765813493946486,0.07233267214751064,0.0,0.09074167934567674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05415366766792113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348266446586184,0.0,0.0,0.08225857810905299,0.09737847715286706,0.0,0.07014611400451341,0.0,0.07437244739953443,0.0,0.0,0.11092271306296753,0.0,0.07074829999935897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07915939072452573,0.0,0.16983090820884847,0.11997629053585893,0.08062431515274475,0.0,0.0,0.07142479206130224,0.0,0.09206871022449244,0.0648749709747227,0.0,0.04387083037135698,0.0,0.09544410931634133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05628328391843375,0.0,0.0,0.08340110175717698,0.0,0.09689004215717842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922953712009508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11862091044840276,0.08204694698424937,0.0,0.07414699956618102,0.1486215173496147,0.0,0.0,0.09166311387783373,0.0,0.2273584604776532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478570700123726,0.0,0.06702400873536082,0.08924676234591236,0.18518271316896207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16031762721688828,0.0,0.0,0.08773072011433798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08041999558098907,0.08542762149461472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05379329674478645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07170987396534759,0.07987464632857476,0.0,0.0840685633147513,0.0,0.0,0.15288616791909734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06946080597297667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0594343590458892,0.26850236546391304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914067913134099,0.0,0.12626989644381653,0.06749186082068015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11157180018146116,0.16141365000793415,0.0,0.06666275655380388,0.0979271000398519,0.09651109894876299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16405286931322868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06928399841720115,0.14858294690166585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754990646655495,0.0,0.0,0.09374944451210322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16222167396195164
addiction,PrecautionaryCramp,2020/02/06,"Being an addict... Being an addict...

Going through detox... and still getting fucked up a week after... 😔",1.7183333333333335,4.420678611111113,3.1388888888888893,83.245,96.22222222222223,2.4000000000000004,17.11111111111111,3.1291,-0.4290222222222222,77,2,11,0,3,25,15,18,0.22699999999999998,0.773,0.0,-0.6597,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,3,0,2,4,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,3,10,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7969017466188657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3379004915934981,0.19095958638280516,0.0,0.2077230757139191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2918901812072952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29318346869478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,swishatwistaa,2020/02/06,"Ibogaine Experience I took ibogaine in Mexico. I just wanted to explain my experience and hear your feed back. I highly recommend this miraculous medicine to anyone struggling with addiction. I was in a small clinic/hospital when I initially took the medicine (message me if you would like a reccomendation). There was one other person with me laying in the bed next to me. There's soft instrumental music playing and a projection of lights onto the ceiling as a light show just for amusement before we traveled out of our bodies. We took the initial dose two pills and waited twenty minutes until taking one more following another one after twenty more minutes. Right after taking the last pill I look over to my partner and ask if he feels anything he responds to me that he is unsure and raises his hand and puts it back down and at that moment his hand trailed in very slow motion. His hand had reached the bed but my vision was still catching up knowing then it was coming on and very fast and intense. I watch the lights in the ceiling as they are turning I see an African mans face come and go the face with tribal patterns would keep coming up eventually I decide to close my eyes and am thrown into this very speedy space with portals surrounding me in every direction I entered each portal each one seeing videos. Burning futuristic buildings in one. Myself robbing people and people deceiving me for money. One with homeless children begging me for help as I ignore them and continue to walk on. One where everyone I knew was watching me slam dope and crying in front of me. In each portal before I would leave i would experience feelings of near death. My thoughts are racing and the images come to me at a million miles an house although it wasn't just images. In each portal I was overwhelmed by each of these feelings: fear, greed, selfishness, shame, and anger. When experiencing all of this it feels like an intense buzzing and computer chip is plugged into your mind. My experience with visuals lasted about 10 hours and after that it was still lasting effects such as overwhelming feelings and information flooding my mind for another 3 days very slowly coming down I was unable to stand  for about 24 hours until after ibogaine and did not get any sleep for 80 hours after dose. After sleeping I did take DMT and did not experience any visuals just a release of all the fear I had inside of me. The ibogaine tore me apart and the DMT put me all back together. Most beautiful experience with 5MEO DMT this is a must after iboagine
 
Although I had a very dark intense trip with ibogaine it was crucial to intrupt my addiction. Through all the tribulation I learned about my fears by facing them. The feelings of being near death symbolized a death to my fear shame selfishness greed and anger. This has been the best experience I have ever had. Do not be scared of this medicine it's a strange thing we are scared of ourself and the truth. Don't keep turning your heads and looking away from the beautiful life in front of you addiction Rob's you of every previous thing but there is hope and there is light at the end of every dark tunel",6.566648665261681,7.826862392123289,6.33356164383562,76.32506673691607,65.48972602739727,8.866455918510713,33.29627678257816,9.057496981413335,3.000168299964876,2543,107,428,42,39,796,273,584,0.133,0.773,0.094,-0.9875,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,4,6,3,2,21,25,4,11,32,0,38,20,11,1,7,96,75,41,3,9,11,0,10,2,1,5,8,1,2,4,20,51,1,4,14,5,3,20,5,18,0,9,23,23,61,7,87,45,13,89,0,2,7,0,30,37,0,4,33,314,81,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20059420559605254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342047002321633,0.12863121387035398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04288719921567589,0.0,0.05047388036632031,0.0,0.05734040144391001,0.0,0.05762670986220365,0.14148961239524285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10438396515166362,0.0,0.06436781038442625,0.0,0.0,0.06812989988924235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26417545877496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06737415329462018,0.039556315495561656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054325036884911374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05548146027011757,0.15503338163780847,0.05860868710136327,0.0,0.4199851352230722,0.0,0.2760779043821738,0.1860783934488644,0.04381808476505898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032045260865122174,0.0,0.0348583712137609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294790580784572,0.0,0.06912955251803247,0.0,0.04111188459951089,0.06480431045011813,0.0,0.06091997893872252,0.18120930127429527,0.07077291790188266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109035599567171,0.0,0.0,0.033708380052782996,0.1499898267732189,0.0,0.06494542547244088,0.0,0.0,0.043323068964055564,0.05993084236248514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10301272408886833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12386271586335712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06523098714894471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909375975254424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504460881391787,0.053555782157866036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12331821250009435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0523801714800667,0.0,0.0,0.12281504677131175,0.0,0.09775288534495488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12275956718246556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09796519963134782,0.0,0.0,0.06412116924778657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383499606698545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08149714540941384,0.0,0.0,0.048693526100876086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044379514314045,0.0,0.13343079567253066,0.0599158592202822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530410051809157,0.036177259873044314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17428388302875988,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,DadBodGodSquad,2020/02/07,"I got hit by a drunk driver last night. I got rear ended by a drunk driver tonight.

Honestly I feel lucky to be alive with only whiplash and a broken car as a consequence. I had just exited the freeway and was waiting to turn left. The light was red and all I could think about was the lasagna my dad and stepmom had kept hot for me. I hadn’t even planned to stop there but after my day job ended I had to go do 2 side jobs for my FIL’s business. It was a long ass day and it was going to be nice to sit down with my parents, as they’re getting older, and normally I have the kids and my wife with me so it’s always a bit chaotic. I had only called them to see how my stepmom was doing, she has had some health issues, and had mentioned I was passing through to do a job. Come by for dinner after they said and honestly it was just what I needed after a long day of grinding. So there I am sitting at the stop light I’ve sat at hundreds of times before. Chatting on speaker phone with my buddy Chris and WHAM$384?:9!2:$84!:7:)!483!3$ all I see is the red light above me as my car is pushed through the intersection and onto the on ramp on the other side. Prior to the impact I heard nothing.  No screech. No horn. No nothing. I have no idea why no one was going through the intersection. Normally it’s busy and surely it would have been worse.  I drive a suburban and he was driving a brand new Cadillac. My car absorbed it like a fucking champ and saved me from serious damage. After sitting in my car for a moment to gather myself I got out and started walking towards his car. He was standing outside of it across the intersection from me. I called 911 and reported it and went to check on him. “Are you ok is anyone in there with you??” I say... “Yes” he slurs. “Who else is in there??”  No one he slurs. I’m within 5 feet now and I smell it. I immediately turn and walk away. Dial 911 and explain that I just called in the accident and would like to report that the driver is drunk. Within moments the authorities are there. They separate us. Take my statements and by now my parents are there with me. We’re watching this absolute ass hat wobble back and forth. Trying so hard to squirm out of his misery by saying he has diabetes and was having an episode. No problem, EMTs are there to verify it. They get within smelling distance and return to their fire trucks and leave. It’s a mere formality now. We watch the field sobriety test. Fail. Then the breathalyzer. .183. This mother fucker could have killed me, or anyone else tonight, including himself. I went to get checked at the ER and i have general whiplash but other than that should be ok. I can’t stop thinking about why no one was at that intersection. It’s always busy but today it wasn’t. I hope someone reads this and decides not to drink and drive. Shit ain’t worth it man. I feel lucky that I get to just feel lucky.",1.9132964087904227,4.1454509499136485,3.078750818891073,90.76985751295342,80.0880829015544,5.720219165028883,22.936126496337323,6.879701675869418,0.6722001429337148,2256,75,467,25,58,725,267,579,0.131,0.75,0.11900000000000001,-0.9426,5,0,1,0,0,0,74.0,2,2,5,3,23,22,4,0,32,3,53,13,4,1,3,82,88,41,1,10,9,5,6,2,0,3,2,5,0,2,27,39,5,5,9,6,3,18,13,8,1,3,31,22,62,14,74,48,4,84,0,2,6,4,39,30,5,6,34,317,89,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14597722670289975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266928391682512,0.08987771612994035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08241418608067247,0.06744992193323099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746417724386692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576561330688807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26871043100991465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556150774349976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400717744366865,0.0,0.0,0.16971304905549628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593049312599464,0.0,0.0,0.14655468902681398,0.0,0.15538467177384244,0.0,0.0,0.05793707873078952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13305895287061653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08109411130619963,0.1833166667510231,0.0,0.14955691372366287,0.0,0.2104689001076604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07857832495170837,0.0,0.0,0.09324040091150812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712401753096609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902323038899116,0.0,0.09155506607981843,0.2611404924782025,0.0,0.09704725026142737,0.0,0.0,0.07150208368916701,0.0,0.09288096427460192,0.09530613840455106,0.0,0.0,0.08570941506540533,0.0,0.0,0.1552557869168958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06504197302994498,0.0,0.0847188352299013,0.0,0.0823176381220776,0.17189052693016915,0.16833605880828992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783204749349742,0.13342736808860214,0.0,0.0,0.19480147811592516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08393452138879003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774199067605516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08344014575816577,0.13951415087187394,0.0,0.0,0.13980018123550186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09004152602697843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743233910011597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06208743086550631,0.0,0.0,0.22000916149069574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267341522809281,0.0,0.06595320948777307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11241262906392643,0.0,0.0,0.051149218660618785,0.0,0.08314664709567107,0.0,0.0,0.05955493572210741,0.1908245403866203,0.0,0.0,0.10551425774027784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16263139844608532,0.15830415902937384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08939239365560736,0.12462506015995126,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,olivercooli,2020/02/07,"I tried crystal meth (ice) for the first time last night My girlfriend dumped me and I went to a brothel last night (legal here in aus). The girl I had offered it to me for free and said it was Bing and will make me horny and whatever else. I didnt realize until afterwards what it was! It was the best drug I have ever taken, it felt so fucking good. And so I am now shit scared that I will become an addict, how can I make sure I don't get addicted?

I have had a pretty rough night, got a few hours sleep and verging on the comedown now at 10am. I smoked a decent amount and spent waaay too much cash. 
I used to smoke like 2g of weed a day and worked so hard to get off it. I have an addictive personality, so there is that little part of me that just makes me want to throw my life away and smoke meth constantly. 

I would love some advice and counselling please",2.9090109890109868,3.731424186813189,3.874395604395605,92.2206043956044,73.61538461538461,7.138461538461539,22.241758241758237,7.321109707123232,0.458162637362637,670,15,157,7,13,216,116,182,0.071,0.7829999999999999,0.146,0.9317,0,0,6,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,3,12,10,3,1,11,0,16,9,2,5,2,23,31,16,0,2,1,0,3,1,1,3,5,1,0,2,10,10,0,0,2,0,3,2,2,4,0,1,12,4,21,7,15,16,6,24,0,0,0,2,6,7,2,1,16,101,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4350477896132739,0.0,0.12998963406247802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249805430507934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14691469339122026,0.0,0.0,0.1396006108291198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14375181997446934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08578955493980651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15426575106397186,0.0,0.11112458602261736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032793561164715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772401966742342,0.0,0.0,0.11315025161697545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12297865878756993,0.1389992284724948,0.0,0.0,0.11157432362657177,0.10639154366381362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11916348618516973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13100196612109805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168648305277894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09395887252112477,0.06498886750488918,0.13332511858341595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12005946519809205,0.0,0.26638390644672555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778803683086387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3745023862185064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14405216280124605,0.0,0.0,0.1161515337871162,0.0,0.1460205413675268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13533335678260233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265364038041328,0.0,0.13318035401457645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136547351313502,0.0,0.0,0.13312019207613845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12537366225951158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775674362490258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09031464802210354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11489013237745398,0.0,0.0,0.07846107466198234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12331469533051928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684314632317782,0.0,0.0,0.09449652078879944,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,saturnnrutas,2020/02/07,"my partner 'doesn't care' if im sober or not? so im an addict. I still use but definitely very mild compared to how I used to be. however, still some risky behaviors. I was sober for a bit, and I asked my partner if they were upset I wasnt sober anymore. they said they know maybe its not right, but they dont care? basically im very depressed and self medicate. I dont feel so down when using. thats mostly their basis for this. they know im sad and it makes me feel better, even if its not an actual fix. it gets me through the days. im also quite young, and neither of us are fully convinced someone in their early 20s can realistically stay sober... I did na and all that and idk. obviously didn't stick. but for some reason I feel like my partners stance on this is ... wrong? maybe? or weird at the least. but im not going to tell them that. I want them to be honest with me, even if this is their honest feelings about it... idk. I guess I wanted an outside opinion on this situation.",0.17741463414633785,2.4468275219512208,2.3436097560975604,92.86517073170731,88.41463414634146,5.0360975609756125,18.44390243902439,6.55674776486733,-0.03752097560975587,762,21,170,9,25,256,117,205,0.13699999999999998,0.7490000000000001,0.113,-0.505,1,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,1,0,10,2,10,12,0,1,6,0,14,2,0,6,2,42,33,21,0,6,14,0,4,1,3,0,2,1,0,4,12,7,0,0,7,0,0,1,10,5,0,0,6,5,28,7,16,25,7,14,0,2,0,0,18,6,0,11,7,111,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.09790951696531644,0.10937664267426442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023542975749776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950234133490067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379683596881784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08873546256934818,0.1095365112861376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20459023385533204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06470581200407799,0.0,0.0864157675392807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23517661272220244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132536622679876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20292340837245146,0.07167717012229788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05241930647946441,0.0,0.05702096330936221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052696215144514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6502543836091851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102796393108008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049017126223347404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0669723603825183,0.0,0.2015938726599592,0.0,0.0,0.10107389121213173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10671538636560256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10315796205152994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568294306659714,0.09543866688627893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466811272932146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11277732340312248,0.0,0.0,0.08501094156974386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694051656172372,0.16025046091563333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769455272094956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068699071324253,0.2599637908818346,0.0,0.16556874426179946,0.11835677549040348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096972445961845,0.0,0.0
addiction,YourBrokenOne,2020/02/07,"Day 1, part 2 I tried to shower but was unsteady on my feet. I soaked in the tub instead. I couldn't gather the strength to wash my hair. *pathetic*

I'm thinking of this weekend, tomorrow, when I have to tell my girlfriend, the love of my life, that I've been using again... I don't know what she'll say or how she will take it, if she'll leave me for good this time... But if I'm going to be in recovery and leave this poison behind, I have to start with honesty.

Back in November I was sexually assaulted by a coworker. I had been sober for about a month at that point. It hit me harder thna I expected, because it wasn't just about that one incident, it became about every incident that I experienced in my youth. Foster dads, foster brothers, my own grandfather.... Every thing came back in a flash, flood gates open, I began to drown. 

I decided to stand up for myself this time. I told my best work friend, who also happens to work in HR. She drove me to the hospital, I got a rape kit done, a cop came.. I repeated my story about 5 times that day, by the end of it, I was too exhausted to feel. 

It didn't end there, the next few days after I was torn in one direction after another. The detective, the hospital, my family, my support advocates, my girlfriend. Everything was just too much. By that thursday he was arrested. I felt better, safer knowing he couldn't hurt me. So I started to try and move past it. 

Fast forward to about 4 weeks ago, I get a call from his parole officer. She tells me he's getting out of jail, and will most likely stay out until the DA presses official charges, which may take months, even years.  That was the day I lost it. I went through about 20 people trying to find a new plug. And I did!

She dropped off what I had asked for, some crystal, and even though T wasnt my DOC I knew she'd take the pain away. And for awhile it worked. I became the most productive worker, I was finally able to balance chores and meetings and appointments. And I wasn't sleeping most days, which is the reality i wanted to avoid. I am terrified of my dreams, of being unconscious like I was that night that he raped me.... 

But I digress, it took 2 weeks for that stability to fall to pieces. On the end of week 2, i lost my job. It wasnt because of the drugs, but rather because I was a single mother of a child who has autism, my boss said they needed someone there who didnt have to leave work all the time for appointments or if my son was having a bad day... I was heartbroken about losing my job. I had been there for so many years, had poured so much effort and pride and passion into it, and it was gone. 

So for a few days after that I completely broke down, I used so frequently I almost lost my mind. Nothing could console me or make things better except for that next dose.... And then I looked at myself in the mirror, and I realised what I had done, and I decided enough was enough, I was done. Broken, and done. I portioned out the remaining crystal I had left into capsels. Each day would give me a lower dose. I quit chasing the crystal with H. i threw out my pipes and needles, hell even the tin foil. And so I began the process of ending this love affair. 

I took my last dose yesterday morning, I slept the majority of the day... And today I woke up and felt everything. 

For the first time in a month I felt my guilt, my shame, my failure. I felt the loss of my job, the possible loss of my relationship, the betrayal to my family and my friends and my children. This is the hard part.. 

I stood up earlier to take a shower, my first time moving all day, my bp crashed instantly, my world went dark... And all I kept thinking was that I hope it would stay that way. 

I dont want to live. What have I done? I have failed.",2.3557849812010967,4.082890368560108,3.713690885072655,89.18033614470077,76.6221928665786,7.194789147444365,23.799390305863234,8.038279094779023,1.1929370551773195,2887,92,621,48,65,947,339,757,0.162,0.7509999999999999,0.087,-0.996,6,1,1,0,1,0,131.0,0,0,1,21,32,35,5,3,42,0,62,18,4,5,3,89,119,45,1,14,14,4,8,2,4,7,9,2,4,2,45,35,0,2,13,2,0,14,10,20,0,4,63,12,110,15,90,42,22,108,1,9,1,5,40,30,1,13,63,429,155,10,0.05688740416082645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05042725139901595,0.0,0.05696451789856185,0.0,0.0,0.04549283655455988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059651403366768815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05318204365529116,0.0,0.05344758882792941,0.08748580469955547,0.047498606285830865,0.10403410069993242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05969982099285829,0.1006245721487743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0580884000412874,0.13012807076519328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059645360934469926,0.0,0.0,0.045419963252213716,0.0,0.0,0.3668766950620744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2910778267069408,0.06667161400121002,0.0,0.06597132827105713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015414200414884,0.11755979091961476,0.0,0.11272078179101802,0.0,0.09586018307823832,0.0,0.10225346147751074,0.0,0.10725676358702037,0.0,0.02876398081895822,0.0,0.21848331652265068,0.06231737062383773,0.05199405680077359,0.0967767938365102,0.0,0.0,0.08790213467869422,0.0,0.05944264146602424,0.054571581707498186,0.03233042275534101,0.0477144556054918,0.04549805387068296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05030534362588148,0.0,0.050959940303181184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056502028200269186,0.0,0.0,0.06089914272744284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16935591227747612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06252765918528977,0.046370827051764436,0.0,0.18070664134077016,0.061808331071036074,0.0,0.040181255919203115,0.05558462435840806,0.0,0.05023262009956828,0.0,0.04777109203624619,0.06364245402152761,0.18629796499555815,0.0,0.10268620657538403,0.0,0.03797278401528442,0.0576748989879316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057440061426423814,0.0,0.13622094979103416,0.12092461554124555,0.08363757521364444,0.042181289367572025,0.0,0.05494220942637886,0.12100079939713645,0.053384975146492285,0.0,0.054584998554087584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07709675463393494,0.0,0.060532208887333835,0.0,0.0,0.12320703013821753,0.05430546421546144,0.03943856325293743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053776984565983316,0.06413200070179133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060506756734027466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061075782552036474,0.0,0.0,0.05411294844141902,0.04523914708190237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05692848756377096,0.0,0.04820051293886416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805303949257906,0.1212688074509398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06455515209546682,0.0,0.0,0.17108899281656412,0.0,0.09944419730079623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07558692711952371,0.0729023031471072,0.05589158575488499,0.0,0.1990290170553827,0.0,0.05392260747488676,0.05435835253181757,0.12640799836346436,0.11586843971375868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826490437317008,0.0,0.0,0.0671073297517486,0.04515457353215724,0.13689493266747887,0.0,0.0,0.10547038717520024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16565883101918089,0.0,0.0,0.08082235947297836,0.0,0.0,0.07326724630552665
addiction,throwawaydadmoneymom,2020/02/07,"How to help mother without hurting dad's recovery I am desperate and don't know where to turn.  Please tell me if I should go somewhere else.  My dad is an addict.  He has used on and off again since I was a child.  I have always been aware of it.  He has a good job at the executive level in manufacturing.  My mom works as a nurse, so has the lower income.   They have more than enough money to cover expense when my dad is not using.  

He had a foot injury and was prescribed pain killers.  They move a lot, so this was a new doctor.  My mom came home one day to find a notice from the mortgage company on their door.  He admitted to my mom that he had a problem with pain medicine.  This has been going on for years, I think.  Being aware of his problems, I am hyperaware of his actions and I saw signs some time ago.  Apparently, he has dug them into a serious financial hole buying pain medicine (I'm not sure what else).  He is still working, but they cannot pay their bills. 

My mom is financially illiterate. He has always taken care of that. She got an account for her check, but I think he still can access it and is moving bills to her account.  I'm not sure of the details, but basically, my mom really needs my help.  BUT - she hasn't told my dad she told me and he hasn't told me either.  I have a new baby, and the stress of the secret and of the situation is really stealing my joy and causing me so much pain.   I want to confront him.  I want to see the finances and help my mom get it figured out.  I don't believe what he tells her and I am honestly terrified for her future (and his).  

He told my mom is he in an outpatient program with therapy and suboxone.  He has never hurt any of us, but does have anger issues (so does my mom).  I don't want him to hurt her or himself I confront him.  I don't know how to confront him -- email, in person, text?  I just feel trapped by it all and I am the primary caregiver for my baby so my time and emotional energy is limited.   Does anyone have any advice on how I should handle this? If it wasn't a financial issue, which is so personal, I feel like talking to him would be more about supporting him through this.  Now, I feel like it will be confrontational because of the money and potential deceit.  My mom just keeps calling me and I can't abandon her, but I don't know what to do.",1.8920979192166456,3.7404160105263213,3.797297429620564,87.51289596083231,78.36842105263158,7.029130966952264,23.678090575275398,7.97965635744439,1.2364820073439406,1795,60,383,31,43,607,216,475,0.133,0.745,0.122,-0.6602,6,1,0,0,0,0,60.0,1,0,6,3,18,27,5,1,24,0,51,7,1,6,4,75,84,37,0,11,16,14,3,2,0,4,6,0,2,3,16,22,0,3,12,0,11,6,15,18,0,1,16,5,70,9,45,61,8,33,0,4,2,0,71,13,0,5,16,262,86,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06778117599349713,0.0,0.06075780965271416,0.05511540137367407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10347106754456906,0.0,0.0,0.08456382192051434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043475006507811664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03790200111744799,0.0,0.0,0.07005122416536147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06348879612924087,0.07111294638542849,0.06339272402425775,0.06387202849913065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04009847005737823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363991941172305,0.16323229142425202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038803823703931,0.06993979485720707,0.0,0.06424457889515481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431438184468334,0.08883730134676086,0.0,0.0,0.056827870449353224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032484469728358625,0.0,0.07067227252350136,0.05215040080638525,0.04972794334875589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12502607886729333,0.0,0.06236774333586202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19968254871816246,0.0,0.0,0.12979148378634314,0.061700230339872535,0.05526501482327213,0.0,0.0,0.10251115034065077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060752247975552835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05285993535080321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6553795499113365,0.0,0.13216680538021613,0.045706620923531255,0.04610282395836054,0.04795407634460732,0.12010021727856544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07078795360075042,0.0,0.0,0.042132165231792806,0.0,0.2646392096576249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085796237770234,0.0,0.06825073646665007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11898834808824395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07966326166625405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04954633788461425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05143274995792516,0.06988859247058614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09930790001215972,0.0,0.07122256444633386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07055675294151888,0.11720056236739383,0.0,0.0,0.04997483045525867,0.10868938315014283,0.0,0.07110384093166676,0.0,0.0,0.07967992677658582,0.0,0.0,0.07251082074132441,0.0,0.0,0.2376478855923733,0.0,0.0,0.06762979182941661,0.0,0.0,0.0747902473293287,0.10740045303319183,0.0,0.0,0.11001930439704573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05993558537261594,0.0,0.09052994868260827,0.0,0.0,0.044168149747772084,0.0,0.0,0.0400393990911801
addiction,DeneHero,2020/02/07,"Like Many of You My entire life has been riddled with addiction. I started young with food and screens. I was a chubby boy who loved his video games. 

It has now evolved into drug use and has crept into every aspect of my being. How many of you have told yourself this will be the last time ONE THOUSAND TIMES. 

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. 

It’s as though I loath my actions of using yesterday, justify using one last time, and enjoy the bliss of being sober of tomorrow. My joy resides in the realm of nonexistence, the future. My life is chaotic because of my developed apathy. 

This is tough.",3.57431693989071,6.157849737704924,4.3340163934426235,82.09780054644811,76.21311475409836,7.3453551912568305,26.560109289617486,8.344100000000001,2.1248666666666667,516,20,90,10,12,165,83,122,0.078,0.7959999999999999,0.126,0.8176,1,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,0,0,4,5,0,0,6,0,14,6,0,5,0,16,20,8,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,1,6,9,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,3,3,1,12,4,16,13,1,18,0,0,1,1,8,5,0,0,13,67,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976615387106476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052873827102397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18943695036198946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102693528411944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15276680936514206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192483990139964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2955939815194876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561381406105153,0.08858198931315882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16364504678160247,0.0,0.0,0.36765255462331176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457292452325226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12833661583649394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204584981476688,0.0,0.17814235174500395,0.0,0.3171809914218038,0.0,0.0,0.1732555021693157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4697972223172556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,cakes_2,2020/02/07,"Freakingggg outtt. Hi all, 
I am new to reddit and don't know if anyone can give me any advice but any suggestions would be appreciated. 

Here's the story. I am 1.5 years sober from heroin. My boyfriend who i met in rehab relapsed. We are currently living with his family and I dont know how to help him. I feel like if I talk to his family about the situation we may become homeless but at the same time I feel like that is the least of the issues right now and if i don't do something to help him i feel like i cant say i love him like i have to do something but also don't know if he will be mad at me for saying something. I'm just very conflicted. Also I have to think of myself and my sobriety as well like this isn't healthy for me either and its stressful and I'm scared for him but also sad he's not happy and his normal self like he can't be enjoying his life right now and I'm just confused on what would be the best plan of action to get him sober again. He is currently dealing with grief from the loss of a loved one too.",1.914758345789736,3.2210254708520227,3.687406576980568,90.69166791230694,76.80269058295964,6.749277528649727,20.909068261086198,7.3871296695380915,0.4417585450921773,812,19,186,10,18,273,118,223,0.175,0.655,0.17,-0.3612,2,0,3,0,0,0,12.0,2,0,0,3,13,19,1,3,8,0,25,4,0,1,1,40,40,21,1,7,12,0,3,6,0,4,2,2,0,1,5,12,0,1,7,0,0,1,8,7,1,1,1,5,30,12,24,31,5,15,0,3,0,2,29,6,0,6,14,127,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11812463374810955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29000822474660864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16440800861317564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08452360692865303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335048327062186,0.0,0.0,0.12685835408442106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462418430735304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14167297448608987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22791385747536766,0.0,0.1833649349155708,0.2590746871407613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06315593190566078,0.11596116906321847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12868129190013014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620495083630953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12616955395132975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19930099781906527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08538263442305437,0.3543414623982875,0.0,0.10674114932340503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21820171211039985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11674872958874985,0.0,0.0,0.11843883708374625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191287038600538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20646538389097396,0.0,0.19226066824152485,0.12102411591415105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12610644138942814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13587659653873127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2791829445990941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13847008948994405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09716048978549036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07745639796233117,0.0,0.0,0.07048735127057977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974043001122522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086875663532383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17174241606499932,0.0,0.0,0.07784413855888167
addiction,Whynotpiingu2,2020/02/07,"Please help me save my dad (UK) My dad is addicted to crack cocaine. He was clean for 10 years and relapsed a few months ago and has been clean for a few weeks now, well so we thought. 
How do I help him through this process, how do I best support him so that he sticks to recovery. 
He also attempted overdosing last night, doctors aren’t very helpful and have given him another prescription.",3.9912280701754383,5.692227947368423,4.100000000000001,88.22833333333338,72.15789473684211,8.224561403508767,31.08771929824561,8.841846274778883,2.4490508771929838,308,14,63,6,6,95,58,76,0.0,0.682,0.318,0.9785,1,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,0,2,7,4,0,0,2,0,8,2,0,2,0,8,11,8,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,4,0,9,4,5,7,3,7,0,0,0,0,12,0,0,0,7,39,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25869393929000656,0.0,0.0,0.21035368725785292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18977012721453326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488315801513264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490335508297519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428884009078961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4771750914924546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934326020340104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18941199632698374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22269162119061345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604860658908562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692872186771209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883910860863512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195798799584395,0.0,0.0,0.1903491535139908,0.0,0.21336277595071826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15281454955422766
addiction,Addictius9000,2020/02/07,"Hey guys Im an alcoholic and an addict. I try to beat drugs, so I try too overcome it by drinking alcohol. Thoughts?",0.2324999999999981,2.5502272500000025,2.7716666666666683,89.44000000000004,89.0,6.533333333333335,28.83333333333333,7.793537801064563,2.188433333333333,90,5,19,2,3,31,20,24,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,4,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3061121923053385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6001771452755293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27507597026816644,0.3256375164976671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27803500712309176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3033109416781655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229229201540265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.381287971989102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ezdabeazy,2020/02/07,"Skipping the Needle I feel the rush flushes up my side

To once again realize our love is true

​

when i feel you crawling up my spine, I know for too long that I've forgotten you

​

when your hot flash southern with drawl begins to break me down, i'll know a time's now through

​

please be gone my monkey baby because it feels so soulless and godless around us two

​

the fight's been endless and I’ve felt fendless but regardless, I still endure my due

​

As your song and dance begins to ensue, I’ll say my rhymes and I’ll play on queue

​

I now bear witness you are my mistress, though how long I've wanted to say adieu

​

I know it's all for me and I give it all to prove how true, poking in my bruised up arm until I slip by death as lips turn blue 

​

alone inside I sigh my false self will sometimes cry, as it wonders how this happened and more importantly, why

​

What brings me to this moment. I've waited my whole life through

a time to put up a fight and a time to start anew

​

There is a space between every breath I take, a stillness that gives me a time to remake

​

I'm getting out now as I've paid my bond

and I'm leaving u now as I secretly abscond

​

If only that were true... always the fear that we'll meet again and once again you will subdue

​

yet I’m keeping in this fight my love, because this life I will not rue

​

all the good that comes from bad, all the happiness after sad

​

I realize now we’ll always be together in some way or another 

for the life or death of me, my torturous and selfish comrade.",15.802306653157721,7.052196620060794,13.300101317122595,64.81682539682542,56.963525835866264,15.838027693346849,52.05707531239446,9.150863307647796,5.241648159405607,1324,51,261,10,9,408,174,329,0.13699999999999998,0.7709999999999999,0.092,-0.9636,0,1,0,0,3,0,77.0,4,6,0,0,21,17,4,1,14,0,12,9,4,3,8,46,41,27,2,3,5,0,5,0,1,5,3,3,0,1,14,14,0,2,12,3,1,6,1,8,1,1,5,9,40,8,37,29,7,47,0,1,1,2,23,13,0,5,26,158,54,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03282623442318649,0.0,0.0,0.05274519354043095,0.5151192288360043,0.5776894203978897,0.0,0.033234741349788016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02821507473339907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02646381820522982,0.038641688579241024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02730224734471201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03481522860640183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026704219938967967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03566544024757793,0.048077500716817885,0.0,0.030431960121827258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.016559214894951362,0.0608090439028264,0.0,0.02658407851604517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028027590124556374,0.03373968368825901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028171777599691673,0.0,0.0,0.052255868167600035,0.0,0.0,0.03356019666585717,0.0,0.0,0.06716088334285357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05609776753650922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057211554516838035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750781462186092,0.0,0.024105309137524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034791351724092236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03186200901664206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050409923900956666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03306456891055643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031346948797578024,0.0,0.022433729091828298,0.0,0.05062298602436775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023830530813722297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031139961364729886,0.0,0.07392592662928207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034474820293171574,0.030961195560875118,0.0,0.038124919012969015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.018694402990498404,0.025157841851165142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028599610003734982,0.03538609104996108,0.0,0.0,0.03437163793645772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5776894203978897,0.0
addiction,sjburnsie,2020/02/07,"Feel like I’m dying I mean, honestly, how many have used their chemical of choice because they literally know they’re gonna die sometime, anytime, and can’t stop thinking about that? I want to stop drinking but don’t want to live in fear, constantly. Its a conundrum.",4.7085294117647045,6.550940980392162,5.115833333333335,81.09375000000003,70.56862745098039,9.02156862745098,32.357843137254896,9.516144504307137,3.132290196078431,214,10,40,5,4,68,44,51,0.19399999999999998,0.682,0.124,-0.6808,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,2,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,2,0,12,12,3,2,2,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,2,4,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,4,2,5,11,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,18,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409790480545542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24991894174270066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4800400982446577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265549517984897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602412057764624,0.11693623360514575,0.1652181653521779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270990445879946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298604076639232,0.0,0.2042142023224449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344698219504035,0.0,0.2519190468891244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22873032537566204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3867014153999037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14818742935512846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19974161235351048,0.0,0.0,0.27281614592427744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,iotion710,2020/02/07,"The cold turkey is setting in, don’t like it 
I am very irritated at just about everything, and all I want is nic. I can’t even think clearly, grrr.  How do I pass the time",-0.12905405405405546,1.8184219729729745,2.6877702702702737,92.26787162162165,86.02702702702703,5.8621621621621625,20.06081081081081,7.1686216300943375,0.3799783783783783,131,4,31,2,4,46,30,37,0.126,0.6990000000000001,0.175,0.204,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,1,2,7,8,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,3,8,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,21,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3657034192225472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4976159661356217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27050230038890405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35477869883200425,0.0,0.0,0.3228579100728696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4568477351288139,0.3265774893747007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,-maguna,2020/02/08,"This shit ain’t a joke. I’ve been smoking weed literally everyday for about a year and some change. I’m 23, and I’m noticing such a drastic change in weight, I’ve lost so much... And I’m trying to push myself to stop, I’m upset at myself for even letting it get to this point. Every night I say, “this will be the night”, until I go fill up the pipe. Tonight has to be the night to stop. How can I be strong.? Advice for distractions, or something. Please",0.6230526315789469,2.6854612526315838,2.275000000000002,95.6725,83.84210526315789,5.063157894736842,18.973684210526315,6.2581,-0.2004947368421055,349,9,80,3,10,114,62,95,0.16,0.792,0.048,-0.8555,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,6,6,1,2,6,0,9,2,1,1,0,8,16,7,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,3,1,2,0,1,0,3,1,4,0,0,2,2,5,2,13,9,2,16,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,2,9,47,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18239001601263255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3948971307247439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232790751059482,0.0,0.15725877502271393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975157430424672,0.0,0.10607621465362296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908599648022864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037480618378996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13720756837312664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5254687938142223,0.0,0.0,0.2124996945173056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20488317449525087,0.1764424486934194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484297781356395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19159122780961094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14369055271024309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3120917443264698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12672156682131613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272866699386569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019502814730412
addiction,familydrama20193,2020/02/08,"Husband might have a drinking problem, how to help? I was advised to come here as I’m very concerned about my overweight husband (6’3 350lbs+) and trying to learn how to help him get his habits under control.

One habit that I believe is causing a lot of problems is his drinking. He’ll drink probably 6-12 shots of vodka every day. I realize that probably isn’t much compared to many here, but I think the problem is that he can’t stop. He never gets drunk or anything, he never acts different while he drinks, but the fact that he’s consuming so much vodka in a week is concerning to me, especially when he keeps gaining weight and I know the alcohol isn’t helping.

How would you start the conversation with someone when you aren’t sure if they really qualify as an alcoholic? We’ve talked about it before, but it never lasts long. I’m concerned about his health, and in my mind, getting alcohol under control would allow for other bad habits to be worked on to get him on a better path.",7.476093749999998,6.7594560885416675,7.569875,74.98762500000002,63.63541666666666,10.388333333333334,36.90833333333333,9.642632912329526,3.489667083333332,787,34,144,13,10,255,119,192,0.084,0.804,0.113,0.6921,2,0,9,0,0,0,21.0,0,2,1,5,11,6,0,0,9,0,14,11,0,7,5,36,26,17,0,6,5,2,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,0,7,5,10,4,4,7,0,2,7,4,0,1,1,1,16,2,23,20,3,20,0,0,0,0,23,6,0,4,12,93,23,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34620446789013176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886119481951021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09016168677192103,0.0,0.0,0.09188597940217344,0.12166039244251672,0.0,0.0955026038136906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11092876885292544,0.0,0.0930181976830905,0.0,0.0,0.2422252866994961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06964040474166877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11281974278280857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4231307624899441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098073055648127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256676243721299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11478137881365108,0.0,0.0,0.21713713074646399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598066945795676,0.0,0.0,0.05934489096501407,0.08802094021110866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09556197269053264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09180368445930352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947828965464378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145533969226111,0.10903252182441456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15876055001270842,0.0,0.2498505265317613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07317239373937244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328488882229285,0.3099767912048988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06917697579908777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09149404350283408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07643125567964466,0.0,0.0,0.09027901589392263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177314231113277,0.0,0.0,0.0867930226470102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06919144723686219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733136877417496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909767149073781,0.0,0.0,0.08661782597405285,0.13149477524406555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786132520577215,0.0,0.0,0.15341671743206628,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,SleepyFarts,2020/02/08,"Preparing for an ayahuasca retreat made me turn away from my casual addictions and look harder at all my food choices I'm in my early 30s.  I have a good job that I work hard at, and I have a good reputation. I'm still renting, but I live comfortably and have enough space that I can host friends and family visiting.  In the meantime, the house is stocked with beer, bourbon, my diet is shit, and I got in the habit of drinking two or three cups of coffee-based drinks everyday.  That all contributed to a rise in my anxiety and irritability.  

I've been dealing with some pretty difficult stuff in my personal life since last fall. I signed up for therapy to talk through it, and went to ten sessions; sessions after that are more sporadic and about maintaining the gains you've made.  

In the meantime, I signed up for a retreat in Peru, where there will be three ayahuasca ceremonies, a San Pedro cactus ceremony, and a Sonoran desert toad session. A bunch of meditation and yoga and little hikes and health food and group talk sessions to discuss the experiences we have each night. In preparation for that, I have to adhere to *la dieta*.

*La dieta* is can be basically summarized by its limitations: no red meat, no sugar, no caffeine, no foods containing something called tyramine, no fermented foods, no pharmaceuticals, no psychoactive drugs.  You're supposed to eat mostly fruits and root veggies, with some grains.  If you don't adhere to the diet, you'll apparently have to purge during the ceremonies a lot more than somebody who strictly followed it.

You're supposed to gradually taper off of the things above.  Then in the week before your first ceremony, you really follow it completely.  This has been going on for about three weeks now. No beef or pork or alcohol.

It took me a week to taper off caffeine.  I've tried to do it a few times before, but knowing that I had this experience on the horizon and that I had already sunk a bunch of money into the trip definitely made me try a lot harder.  I went from two cups of coffee on Sunday, to one cup on Mon, Tues, Wed, to one cup of tea on Thursday and Friday, to half a cup of kombucha on Saturday and Sunday.  It's been six days without caffeine.  There were actually no headaches after the second day with tea. Super easy.  I think I notice the lack of energy in the morning before I eat, but overall, my mental faculties are all there, and my demeanor is a lot more pleasant and approachable.   

Breakfast has been mixed fruit with granola and yogurt. I removed the yogurt because dairy isn't really allowed either.  

Lunch has been veggies, potatoes or grains, and either fish or seitan/tempeh/tofu.

Dinner has been the most challenging for me, but it's normally been fish-based meals with veggies (nigiri and sushi rolls have been a blessing).  Or hummus with veggies.  Or nothing.  

No alcohol. No fried foods at all.  No deli meats.  No big meaty sandwiches.  No super sweet desserts. No really salty meals.

I expend more mental effort trying to find my food, but I'm also doing better all around. You adjust.  I started meditating every day.  Ten or 20 minutes at a time, in the morning and before I go to sleep at night.  I have yoga classes.  I've been working out more, and I've dropped some pounds from the diet.  And I'm really looking forward to my upcoming experiences, with the intention to maintain my health and work through my personal issues, and come back to my normal life as a different person.",5.049440993788821,6.9188042919254675,5.777299378881987,76.58291801242234,69.74534161490682,8.506037267080746,30.27130434782609,9.065960079200117,2.7803682981366453,2740,112,468,54,50,892,312,644,0.08900000000000001,0.821,0.09,0.6735,6,0,7,0,0,0,93.0,1,5,0,11,11,14,1,0,38,0,40,36,2,6,5,88,62,44,0,4,17,0,1,0,1,2,8,0,1,3,20,41,28,2,4,6,2,15,18,2,0,13,19,8,43,12,86,39,26,75,1,0,3,0,19,35,1,17,26,330,63,11,0.0,0.0,0.0671610750137889,0.07502695479546548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14710117623457156,0.0,0.0,0.07594761467086925,0.055037527338795834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05264921444476575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061266837689170614,0.0,0.0,0.06466123799033666,0.052920445641300815,0.0,0.041953708869985874,0.0,0.23425236072599975,0.0,0.0,0.060868128479424265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027572135461435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059284704096069826,0.07215934269401356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13315493820810395,0.07095323200109982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719051243054712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348401854313766,0.07981253881455423,0.14084570725128773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07111229697582896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05798613415260536,0.0,0.0,0.20196556308697625,0.06487996248718969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06290274556073269,0.058540594958834916,0.4993244460941309,0.0,0.05317228498947301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822710831134377,0.11545051281616753,0.05504383928152146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0616516647462954,0.0,0.0,0.14631072732434208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794122117793451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183306902058326,0.06829595864526672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037823182862141785,0.056099725910105966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722308559537952,0.0,0.0689784746679206,0.06077174806881155,0.0,0.11558755105524406,0.0,0.0,0.17553191967795428,0.0,0.19536524689588786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13871428698504454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12917097510867356,0.13486336271326246,0.06603728361949336,0.07835515564640755,0.0,0.0,0.09327215144759572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18028010886700185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001747773967157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17635846071678662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07064556261884805,0.056930888990033825,0.0,0.06887245175159983,0.0,0.0,0.05298311439037162,0.0,0.0,0.04871309581912598,0.0,0.054961936082074885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878558166102131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063423702880176,0.0,0.0,0.07870481119825863,0.0,0.04572277618704975,0.04409883848095556,0.0,0.0,0.08026219654942815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07646460621803422,0.14017838634444113,0.07485938772881696,0.13445965045383287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16561637325456666,0.0,0.0,0.1275987552595603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06634267388371126,0.0,0.15031134237249366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,kerdich,2020/02/08,"What are your methods of staying more mindful throughout the day? Hello everyone, I would be very grateful if you could share with me your techniques, practises and so on for getting back into the present moment. What would you suggest to do when I get overtaken by emotions positive and negative, or when I'm tired or in physical pain? How do you became more aware of thought loops, thinking about future events or about memories.

PS: if you have a good video, podcast, text, book or a website that about mindfulness, meditation, Buddhism, yoga, or a western oriented book or material on mindfulness I would be most thankful if you shared that knowledge with me.",11.646153846153846,9.620259940170945,10.177025641025644,63.77630769230771,56.435897435897424,13.462564102564102,49.04102564102564,11.979248473330829,6.0279928205128215,531,30,83,12,5,165,82,117,0.076,0.779,0.145,0.8336,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,7,0,0,8,5,0,0,5,0,10,2,0,1,0,26,16,15,0,7,9,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,12,4,14,9,3,13,0,0,0,0,11,4,0,10,8,65,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522893433425127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15812797063649414,0.0,0.0,0.127726803612423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22278122905030665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18924665185810133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2069474211614869,0.0,0.0,0.1661161633492466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5999265320510762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21074071100292965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21109649866119448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18233917003446198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12690337492530562,0.0,0.15723073212369432,0.0,0.2276310121308722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634131913942255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4220702122064927,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,dokidokiSayori,2020/02/08,"Weed can't run my life anymore. Day 1. I felt like I had to make a post or I won't feel as motivated to stick to it...I'm 21 and I've been relying on weed for my mental health for years. But I wasn't using it to help myself and do good things for myself. I was using it to distract myself from life. I did have a job for about 2 years but have been unemployed now for almost a full year. Almost can't pay rent either. The worst part is I'm mentally more concerned with smoking than I am keeping a roof over me and the cats heads.

I'll still spend all my time smoking weed, playing games and writing and not taking life seriously. I've even stolen weed from really close people to me because my urge to not be sober is so, so bad. I'm finally sick of all of it. I want to live life and not live with being high dictating everything.

I have severe anxiety, depression and problems with ADHD and insomnia. All things I'd smoke for. And I will again, after a month or two of ACTUALLY getting shit done. Using weed to help me in my daily routine is only possible when I actually have one. 
 
Plus my tolerance is high as shit at this point. I can go through a cut in a day and not feel that stoned. 

It's a long, hard road ahead. But I'm mentally dependent on weed and I'm taking back my life, damn it.",1.6740563725490212,3.3569726066176493,3.71014705882353,88.64857843137257,78.44852941176471,7.180392156862746,22.362745098039216,8.07648339933343,1.0500436274509806,1007,30,223,18,24,343,150,272,0.195,0.741,0.064,-0.9927,4,0,1,0,0,1,29.0,0,0,0,2,9,13,4,1,10,0,24,11,3,6,3,44,41,22,0,2,10,0,4,1,0,2,8,0,1,0,9,16,0,1,4,2,3,2,8,10,0,2,8,4,25,3,37,29,8,31,0,1,0,0,4,12,3,5,17,143,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.20707318310482994,0.0,0.12750948391511707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124841520774506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116487430262309,0.0,0.1052209590304692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158300866998032,0.08858761079552856,0.06467651118581466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368491937490976,0.0,0.09138227114911013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10857535089914787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07007689647270904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535426990588848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729293076037237,0.0,0.10187096276548302,0.11622545178282535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055431958941721086,0.0,0.06029808307784858,0.08899018209215853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09504319622717572,0.0,0.10888741848269948,0.112777483174644,0.0,0.0,0.14223084709647124,0.2241972621934404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10528614637993547,0.09430500353597794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3747016743213088,0.05183424792768292,0.0,0.18737340509915806,0.09389361653112137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07082140875725364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3207662579352628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08468661451992386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07189492310584668,0.08069250353143928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11489407044363395,0.0,0.07355517066672901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10029714450610314,0.11960984041343592,0.10161279956189924,0.0,0.0,0.10152170069152652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06796925864534505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11986082793793078,0.2178166671798061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08473020311082556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15954536661377794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409739317528529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061866745429042365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10364257798479808,0.0,0.0,0.27490447986261224,0.0,0.0,0.06257949942573889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20497139202514772
addiction,teddy0088,2020/02/08,"Have you noticed your memory getting bad during addiction? I stopped using Percocets about 3 months ago. I struggle with valium and kratom. Recently, I have noticed my memory has been absolutely TERRIBLE! This just started happening within the past month. I find myself struggling to spell very basic words...I just had trouble spelling the word ""Connection"". I couldnt properly form the word. Its like my brain is fuzzy. I have trouble trying to remember minor details. Im only 21!!

Im not trying to get clean. Im really trying. My new memory problem is really scaring me. Maybe this is what will get me to stop. Hopefully.

Anyone else have memory/brain problems during addiction?",3.4514117647058815,6.662989200000002,5.059607843137254,71.36029411764707,86.16666666666666,8.823529411764708,27.89215686274509,9.007467420416297,3.8115686274509817,544,25,77,18,17,182,81,120,0.24100000000000002,0.6990000000000001,0.059000000000000004,-0.9724,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,0,0,3,11,0,3,3,0,12,3,1,1,0,16,19,1,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,4,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,9,0,0,2,0,14,2,7,15,1,10,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,10,45,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27638253266446555,0.0,0.0,0.11236847101867957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863620489105922,0.12988450584639288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10584248825350832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830206754351313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10589489911047292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158598278246694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986865796629276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11209682047869636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12590506803713006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4107800098447439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0619303955502109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12735128756266695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023633309909032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12242927973168795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886428807341301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640959136922143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101040236291954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425916968845817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624162881280171,0.0,0.12516397164072185,0.0,0.14359868808676604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12691269013141887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897240787202424,0.0,0.0,0.2119604462028901,0.0,0.2650421197579026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581929224524259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10948323330017304,0.0,0.1045934208399286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,bodiddlysquat26,2020/02/08,"Question about opiate tapering Currently tapering off opiates and was debating if I should stop cold turkey at this point or keep tapering for another week. I’d prefer to not relapse so whatever is more effective I’ll do. 

I was taking like 20-30mg (2-3 ten milligram pills a day) Hydro a day for about half a year. Over the last couple weeks I’ve dropped from 2-3 pills a day to 1 a day (10mg). I had a pill yesterday and nothing today yet.  

Cravings and lethargy are the worst symptoms so far, but overall not too terrible. I just want to lay here and do nothing. Should I do a week of .5 or just stay off at this point? Been about ~14 hours since my last dose. 

Final question, I quit opiates once before and was very bummed out and low energy for a week after stopping. It felt like it would never end. I found an old pill in a pocket and took a half each morning before work about a week and a half after my stopping and instantly felt better. After those doses my lethargy/depression went away and I wasn’t craving anymore after that. I was clean for quite some time after that. Anyone know why those two small doses alleviated so many symptoms?",2.7146240601503777,4.838722868421055,4.067092731829575,85.24131578947369,76.89473684210526,6.798997493734339,25.330827067669173,7.793537801064563,1.5101827067669182,906,33,174,14,21,298,137,228,0.057,0.84,0.10300000000000001,0.9019,1,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,5,12,6,0,0,15,0,15,9,0,1,1,38,24,17,0,6,8,0,2,2,0,3,9,0,1,0,8,12,0,4,8,0,0,2,4,3,0,5,12,3,12,3,26,9,4,47,0,1,0,0,2,13,0,6,32,110,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11331944056458428,0.0,0.0,0.10717509816794583,0.0755641383809153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015340884483027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18391698529443465,0.0,0.0,0.09557797117395304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11957594620476035,0.0,0.27878145018649103,0.0,0.09307940139929413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957167798269122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20752577310556972,0.11838396379594965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11849173684125247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064258875050286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09605641409113326,0.0,0.0,0.059391723905672114,0.17618080660111968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055938030084364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109564686144036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334923331596944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20738963880986405,0.0,0.11339990745900333,0.1150896242304551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20431967941469772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421233233073975,0.229888701237065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08939553429240647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11518684090113444,0.0,0.2710507829364095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246494882414776,0.08125420299638716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06301572021187236,0.0,0.10243647874078222,0.0,0.12006828715631432,0.0,0.0,0.10556740379721463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916798429936959,0.06374171130974313,0.0,0.4334309088707653,0.0,0.0,0.10018075515623197,0.0975151806321853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07867529092423027,0.0,0.0,0.07676889430643202,0.0,0.0,0.06959269098834965
addiction,Supastudier,2020/02/08,"Findom Please help me, I’m so addicted to findom. Idk what to do, therapy is out of the picture because of insurance and my situation. This is worst fetish ever!",3.0324731182795683,5.4243326774193585,5.569032258064516,73.54021505376346,77.06451612903227,9.29462365591398,29.68817204301075,9.725611199111238,3.5391849462365603,127,6,22,4,3,45,27,31,0.157,0.7070000000000001,0.136,-0.2003,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,3,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,5,4,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,17,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4242196286358386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372159025411645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35199906799939706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260832086831732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4271584500213237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4374092409756647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4450150731747011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,emilyp2b,2020/02/08,Looking for input from current or former meth addicts: Am I doing the right thing by keeping my baby away from his meth addict father until he gets clean? Ask any questions about the situation you’d like. Thanks.,5.7215384615384615,7.7041365384615395,5.818461538461541,76.50153846153849,68.23076923076923,6.225641025641028,28.384615384615394,6.42735559955562,1.6101384615384613,171,6,26,1,3,54,36,39,0.0,0.8079999999999999,0.192,0.7964,1,0,2,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,3,8,2,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,7,7,0,5,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,2,4,17,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5930415381872904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18496971427417136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542838147158497,0.0,0.25555348836576625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14210907093698485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24176660347322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13288573877507714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284119729368479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3047028876288297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322869998120032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30574003602768324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504215795837185,0.0,0.0,0.18070509188385733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Adrock04238,2020/02/08,"Addiction is a choice not a disease Stop saying you have a disease. Because of you idiots my grandmother is dead. Instead of the hospital being able to help my grandmother who was having a heart attack they were dealing with you idiots overdosing. Addiction is a choice. My grandmother had a disease, she didn't ask for it. You idiots put the shit in your arm or your mouth by choice. 

Go die on the streets. Leave the hospitals to people who need them",3.8307352941176447,6.317409176470591,4.518455882352941,81.59180147058824,74.88235294117645,8.014705882352942,28.27205882352941,8.841846274778883,2.5878529411764704,360,15,63,8,8,115,57,85,0.136,0.7709999999999999,0.09300000000000001,-0.601,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,6,2,0,1,5,5,0,10,0,10,6,4,0,0,5,13,1,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,5,0,0,4,1,12,0,9,8,0,6,0,0,0,0,15,3,1,1,1,47,15,0,0.23467957940296685,0.0,0.0,0.5116707631123567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21939372732722404,0.2669819010149686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14305849338694418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24194434161870734,0.0,0.0,0.2435603522930121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13337381316773567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780964315306356,0.15730077524058478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24849178953149015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17401193451314664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626972714432642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23591779623475104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18662662088984244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24089521582097084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19620263663683454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,lemonandtar,2020/02/08,"Just realizing I have a problem and have no clue where to start. At the stage of “this is bad, I should quit, don’t wanna.” Anyone else at this point? Any words of encouragement from folks who got past it? Drugs of choice are marijuana and Klonopin. I don’t feel the marijuana is an issue in my life right now, but these damn happy pills...

I’ve been on prescribed clonazepam for about 1.5 years. Started at 0.5, eventually went to 1 mg, then back down to 0.5 when I started developing tolerance. I only take them on workdays so I’ve done careful math so I can take 4-5 mgs 5 days a week and none on the weekends. I’m not always anxious when I take it, I just tell myself “I might GET anxious later this is fine.” 

I know it’s bad. I hate how much I love klonopin. I fucking LOVE it. The first time I took it was literally the first time in my entire life I felt zero anxiety and I just ran with it. It’s not affecting my life in the sense of job or relationship loss, but I know I’m fucking over my body and brain and that I can’t keep this up without a psych catching on. I’m at the point of knowing I SHOULD start a taper but desperately DESPERATELY not wanting to. 

Anyone here in the same boat? Early stages of addiction, realizing it’s an issue and theoretically wanting to fix it, but not taking action? Where did you start? Literally no one knows about this, everyone in my life thinks I’m using as prescribed and doing well. I AM doing well but I know that won’t be forever. I guess I’m just looking for encouragement, success stories, anyone who is where I am in the recovery journey. It feels amazing to open up and tell people about this even if it’s strangers on Reddit. Thanks for having this lovely community, y’all.

EDIT: I am also fucking TERRIFIED of withdrawals and am convinced I will seize and die. Can you tell hypochondria is one of my issues lol?",2.1222295485834337,4.37381317426274,3.842962104195348,85.46597348018261,79.45576407506701,6.498920368089267,24.29019636258242,7.63319966405982,1.251682762118687,1466,53,296,23,37,490,194,373,0.115,0.7170000000000001,0.16899999999999998,0.9751,1,0,1,0,0,0,46.0,0,3,1,5,22,23,5,0,15,1,30,15,2,3,0,54,73,26,1,7,16,0,3,0,0,5,7,0,0,0,23,13,0,1,11,1,0,6,12,9,2,5,9,4,36,14,44,58,3,55,0,1,1,6,15,26,4,4,21,200,59,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09475582968322063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0695100391708252,0.07232455552508296,0.0,0.0,0.05910870525491629,0.0,0.06649370230317678,0.19639013253445006,0.0,0.18232983944655967,0.08905999952906886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683625568460771,0.14514944477150984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09654872887864156,0.0,0.09703167077826456,0.0,0.0,0.08862091978714368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0560563274924469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09020942732424232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08894952554516028,0.0,0.0,0.10079981728052777,0.0,0.07261065978156797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057409961296967876,0.0,0.0,0.08305596001288337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08789891265789829,0.0,0.08345700686001209,0.0,0.0,0.1478685270006193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24106892650561584,0.04541220826893586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06951801088407827,0.0,0.0957523813582034,0.0,0.0,0.09252815138273117,0.0,0.08581568585430151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721662663356077,0.08625486990755886,0.0772586526462309,0.0,0.0,0.2388452978754662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455771839618833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299106255311613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23534657701981515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09220857858432188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06389633588005565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779873141392785,0.06610671616285814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297515017071877,0.06025951081913735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16433533658369728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08317087657802749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09245031414204656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331974787919288,0.0,0.07422936160286721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30761276552960165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614126419247074,0.0,0.22791621406370965,0.0800244266752998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05569494376682114,0.0,0.0,0.1013677157359244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09657152183962144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07507113063728947,0.0,0.0,0.10253555225335756,0.0,0.06972212808780595,0.0,0.15630336693787727,0.08057588072264793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837879549342223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05597374824636197
addiction,Globus93,2020/02/08,"I am a high functioning drug addict looking for people in similar situations. I am a 26 years old male, i work for a multinational company in the industry I always wanted to work in and I have another job which includes journalism and other things I really enjoy. I get paid very well compared to people in my country, especially in my age, but I have zero savings and in fact I have some credit card debt, which is still manageable and doesn't cause problems, but I always have the feeling that my whole life/career is on a razor's edge. I have never really talked about it to anyone yet, since I don't want their picture of me to break.  
I have been smoking weed since I was 15 and in the last 10 years I smoked weed every day with really rare exceptions. It never caused a problem for me, nor does it now but is part of the whole picture.   
1,5 half years ago my girlfriend broke up with me after 7 years for another guy and since then I started doing cocaine.   
After the breakup I had some coke at least 4 days a week for a few months but after a few months things got better from this point of view. But something changed last autumn and since then I did not have a week without cocaine and sometimes I do it on workdays too.   
I spend way too much money on it and the another problem is that I like doing it alone. Right now I am laying on my couch after I snorted a line I bought just for myself to feel better.  
I perform really well in my jobs and I always make end meet sometimes, even though I know that there is a thin line between me, a high functioning drug addict and having real problems caused by my habits. I say every Sunday that the next week will be different but after a few days I feel like coke is the only thing that could make me feel better. I am a bit depressed since that breakup and somehow I can't feel okay with myself without doing it.   


Does someone else have this kind of problem? From the outside I look especially prosperous and successful for my age, though this whole thing is shadowed by handling a starting addiction and being very close to fucking everything up. I am scared as fuck to be honest and I just don't know what to do to stop myself.",6.757693236714977,6.088908231481486,7.0588285024154604,77.90815217391305,65.06481481481481,9.735265700483092,32.2085346215781,8.964715089967882,2.5763086553945254,1724,58,331,24,23,561,204,432,0.066,0.7979999999999999,0.136,0.9844,5,1,7,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,1,7,16,24,2,1,24,1,39,9,0,5,3,60,60,27,0,8,12,0,6,2,1,1,5,1,1,2,24,19,2,1,7,0,6,0,10,10,2,2,7,11,51,14,53,48,12,61,0,2,3,2,7,21,2,3,40,246,75,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21988802255857706,0.0,0.0,0.05959971650409341,0.0,0.0,0.06963511957911801,0.0,0.0,0.16783456542995848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21150508689831876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047012232484926295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783915186837748,0.07340313945090969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20720640852891595,0.07112565019413927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053681627658792114,0.0,0.0,0.13008291991551052,0.0,0.057909354250594784,0.0,0.0,0.07024620079748696,0.0,0.0,0.11767549602866365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559423666081557,0.0,0.05616616395149311,0.0,0.05955019937166117,0.0,0.0,0.044408042956151465,0.0,0.11329667148197943,0.0,0.060426427641273366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16998002615432495,0.04803265369836055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431523498484015,0.03512748049260768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05377392257063589,0.0,0.0,0.06657316005387384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14207480854999355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334406044351204,0.0,0.0,0.07001484234787486,0.07390112801548739,0.10961089766631373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04749002563343485,0.06569518983960115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11292083004574732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897596874465494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10733257335037444,0.0,0.04942541615425298,0.0,0.10371145937873542,0.0,0.07150512015591175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07055175811517292,0.0,0.0,0.05113520066430293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280888670141113,0.0,0.0932244817630372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06355874939953911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32167378067653296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652807993260792,0.17228969372499198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05741827035236005,0.0,0.05346792193042235,0.06731390294833703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27808718072607946,0.07557488822183614,0.0,0.0,0.05696794544237741,0.051760740674487264,0.1329941472920209,0.0,0.09517847144913916,0.0,0.05369390896034242,0.0562114194010586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05404089697686983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.178671623090966,0.0,0.13211597196115968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11095173181126253,0.07931381777887221,0.05336796487449102,0.1617954370201488,0.0,0.1209045691088971,0.0,0.0,0.22519622414818566,0.0,0.12962416339840124,0.0,0.09789567239168784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17318838476015713
addiction,wyattmorehouse,2020/02/08,"17 and have been addicted since 13 I started experimenting when I was 12. For a couple years I wasn’t addicted to any substances in particular, but just drugs in general. For a while I had a hard time saying no to opiates. I stopped using those, but started getting into stimulants (adderall, ritalin, coke). I absolutely loved the way amphetamines felt, and I without a doubt am hooked. My adderall connection ended up in the psyche ward and since then I went to the measure of trying to score meth. Luckily I didn’t, but that caused me to feel incredibly guilty and I realized how deeply ingrained drugs are in my life and it scares the hell out of me. I seriously have always wanted to have a normal life with a house, wife, and kids when I grew up but I realized that now I’m 17 and farther down the rabbit hole than I’ve been before. 

About once a month I’ll have a day where I decide I’m done with this, but I go back to the same habits the very next day.",4.558876359242852,5.458529591623037,5.708586387434558,80.30345952476844,69.83769633507853,9.01828433346758,28.82843334675795,9.265573868473778,2.332339186467982,756,27,152,15,13,252,117,191,0.12,0.8109999999999999,0.069,-0.8193,0,0,3,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,8,5,1,2,15,0,13,9,0,4,0,33,25,17,0,2,7,1,3,0,0,0,7,1,0,1,5,11,1,1,5,0,0,3,4,4,0,0,9,4,19,1,25,16,1,31,1,0,0,1,4,11,1,1,16,100,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33484130947255103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12778764620604335,0.0,0.0,0.10443703746223436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11809056734817047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13068197860749173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15776499409931197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16992907119355585,0.0,0.1980878027720638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571617055651075,0.0,0.0,0.3561991164621989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13602287090225645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502269279904442,0.0,0.0,0.07765270779111731,0.0,0.14745717258288432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023719138783157,0.0,0.08728085610907847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375740506268017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17720623909631572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169507304439226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386084569372447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225830049478614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16332996078005568,0.0,0.15047200400805047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16355357051498726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12212990584234355,0.15375650169570956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540795300945827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21740395617821096,0.0,0.0,0.12839652469847804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08955147875526624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426811397601568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13264047061911904,0.0,0.12671639433441698,0.09058318284686268,0.12190158677946585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423666148208143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14804191278782175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889799509727493
addiction,davidmoorad,2020/02/08,"Argh! Practice, Practice, Practice ""We must learn how to act rather than react. Unfortunately, we’ve had lots of training at reacting. And we’re all such good imitators. We are a society of reactors. We let the good or the bad behavior of another person determine our own behavior as a matter of course. But the opportunities are unlimited for us to responsibly choose our behavior, independent of all others in our life.”~Each Day a New Beginning",5.183461538461536,8.302377025641029,6.9714743589743575,62.44644230769231,73.61538461538461,11.592307692307696,35.391025641025635,10.9516,5.4962256410256405,360,20,55,15,8,124,56,78,0.071,0.81,0.11800000000000001,0.4389,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,7,0,0,1,3,5,1,0,6,0,5,0,0,4,3,18,6,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,7,3,12,3,4,6,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,2,3,41,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32459079923384226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584618249803061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19963453154366234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5192727213731334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3165364659925509,0.2186447465928273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631688544746399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2989659029433069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702876480935047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3723512634836272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Channa_SA,2020/02/08,"Sharing my story I have pretty much always struggled with booze/drugs(uppers) when i was 18 i started partying with coke and well we all know how it goes here. Im 32 now, last year i was raped and sexually abused by the boss of the place i worked at, i relapsed hard, doing drugs almost on a daily basis to try and cope and block out what happened, i eventually quit last October and since December i have calmed down a lot, from every day to once a week now every two weeks. My goal is to sober up again completely, im seeing a psychologist and i started volunteering at my grade1 son's school and i was offered a part time job there to stand in for day care when someone is absent, i also applied for a bursary to study to become a teacher. So even though i still fail more than i would like to i have made up my mind i wont quit, for my sons sake and for my own sake because i deserve a better life, but battling depression is a bitch some days it gets so bad that i would rather get a packet than feel the overwhelming pain and hoplesness, even though i always feel more shit afterwards, as it goes. Some days i feel im fighting a losing battle other days i have more hope. Im just glad im not alone in this. Strength and love to all who is battling the same demon i am.",3.1150763358778626,4.40524657633588,4.201442748091605,88.27285114503815,73.69465648854961,6.919389312977098,24.55038167938931,7.365786028017652,0.9544039694656488,1001,30,213,11,20,326,158,262,0.19,0.684,0.126,-0.9686,1,1,2,0,3,0,21.0,1,0,0,8,19,24,7,2,15,0,16,7,1,3,2,37,30,20,0,4,4,2,4,1,0,3,3,0,0,0,8,14,1,1,4,0,0,0,2,14,1,1,4,5,28,10,29,23,12,31,1,4,1,2,8,10,2,5,21,140,36,7,0.0,0.11611104768695045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981303699993604,0.10149588596959076,0.0,0.07836858887086437,0.16308358979006862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08182384370534983,0.059738384353656436,0.1082305719684544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667085108637293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09991501243566432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10274854511483013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3160014967096983,0.0,0.08440512849142218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11364602196960825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12945288788911205,0.0,0.1651342902686348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14865148611168022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239932884515024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665889162343539,0.0,0.08778653768300808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09733365852196024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5292707411651432,0.0,0.09724742668153387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053856879311896186,0.15976213206505085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06921855315991253,0.0478766428277255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963416862266567,0.0,0.08331399508724226,0.08844659637967013,0.0927276318174176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09894956875784007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07203945986323769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043641705378944,0.0,0.0,0.10427628064140268,0.0,0.0,0.10612177457127983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023865605319754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09969871816692837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084648705829321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09917873161045616,0.07809134316405993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059305568629384,0.08106456901394649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303298866273935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387263114266075,0.0,0.07826095358260499,0.0,0.0,0.1024482952935793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19256415018712247,0.0,0.0571431474794909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06653388974874351,0.0,0.09572934664443733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572154139601859,0.0,0.08811154797786126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713433685619946,0.0,0.0,0.13922926642559913,0.0,0.0,0.063107195970644
addiction,SkincareJen19,2020/02/08,"How long have you been clean? Or do you still struggle? Hi everyone,

new to the group and have fought addiction most of my 20's (36 now) and got clean when I was about 25 years old I was a meth user. I went to jail and that was enough for me to say its time to leave state and get clean so that's what I did. No rehab just being away from the state I live in for about 4 months was enough for me. I was the happiest I had been in years and felt great.. Fast foward 6 years or so I was still clean but had a great job and was able to afford a good amount of plastic surgery which of course with surgery comes pain pills. The first couple of surgeries I was fine and normal with them and it didnt effect me at all but by the time I was into surgery number 4 I had already started using pills on the streets (oxy) by this time i made it 11  years clean and sober didnt even drink or anything. I was so proud of myself! then BAM addiction to pills hit me and now ive of course been cut off because they only want you on those pain killers no more than 2 weeks for plastic surgery. Ive stopped pills and have moved onto Heroin non needle users BTW. I smoke it and have been doing that now for about 2 years. Im so ashamed but its true! I feel like a failure. So ive told you more than i probably really should but I feel like if anyone understands its got to be this group. So im curious as to how long you have been clean? Have you ever relapsed during that clean time? If so what kept you on track? etc Any helpful tips or encouragement would be appreciated. I hope all of what i said makes sense I kinda rambled a bit. But I really dont have many people to talk to about this. No longer have family and dont really have friends. Thanks so much guys and good luck on your Journey.",2.418557241379311,3.611683104000005,3.2355034482758636,94.89720000000004,75.29333333333334,6.559080459770117,21.19770114942529,6.953978226594392,0.16989563218390868,1384,31,328,13,29,438,185,375,0.11599999999999999,0.688,0.196,0.9876,2,0,3,0,1,0,29.0,0,8,2,3,23,20,2,2,11,0,42,10,0,6,4,54,63,38,0,7,12,0,3,2,1,2,9,2,7,1,18,18,1,2,5,1,0,4,7,6,0,1,30,5,40,14,45,27,11,45,0,0,0,0,22,12,0,10,29,211,58,1,0.09768220100817587,0.0,0.0,0.21297603506662888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10779473783432472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06642724635096142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06830166616921733,0.0,0.08038412836680017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09177564334860816,0.0,0.0,0.059546163081173574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10664366403267607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414456679536186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10808349747038963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289656241650207,0.0956913689856944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20186365147940172,0.10894147524782108,0.06451817250312136,0.08835914322344363,0.0,0.09333952914207204,0.0,0.0,0.09208608561724813,0.0,0.09878211170294936,0.13956836783613502,0.09379023158256032,0.0,0.0,0.08308843027657889,0.0,0.0,0.07546902618774033,0.0,0.05103491834260517,0.0,0.0,0.1638623914100433,0.15625075917024586,0.2153899429199542,0.0,0.09672073657185937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06547432028335419,0.0,0.0,0.09702046626041963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21102707887736305,0.0,0.09693451188973527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10343134667127113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09544517858807296,0.0,0.08625517311110296,0.17289134802526546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242926045074744,0.0652036276876792,0.09903441999459177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796900090216807,0.10382072074111608,0.07180765719910953,0.0,0.0,0.09434207843001824,0.0,0.0,0.09570781709295506,0.0,0.0,0.10250103804321528,0.0,0.0,0.0742917155952764,0.20788149795990032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06772053884293681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10531793410496117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18773315778463956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09291814215772712,0.0776808069181658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06913996464111627,0.0,0.15601826381274456,0.08166669396225737,0.0,0.10211864557341864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785132530343611,0.0,0.08993264667072798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278371077892768,0.0,0.0,0.09333952914207204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10169061619735494,0.0,0.08436605855570939,0.0,0.0,0.05761549301318144,0.0,0.07835476954922402,0.0,0.0,0.09055237897067346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693906329569444,0.0,0.0,0.3145206740625169
addiction,NBones313,2020/02/08,"Feeling lost, and manipulated. This is my first post, and its simple.  

Been addict for about 20 years, IV heroin and that had a ten year run not using now, but can not seem to get past 15 years of stimulant abuse.  Im having a hard time not being paranoid with things, the problem is they arent imagined and its not so crazy conspiracy.  Its legit things, behavoirs, sounds words, its real things and pretty sure im being manipulated.  I dont know what the point of it is, which drives me crazy.  Seriously if someone wants to fuck someone else breakup first if you agreed to do that.",4.74642857142857,6.025212214285716,5.146785714285713,83.09821428571429,69.71428571428571,7.385714285714287,25.607142857142854,7.645422480735847,1.2074071428571431,456,13,90,5,8,145,80,112,0.193,0.635,0.17300000000000001,-0.4155,1,0,0,0,1,0,16.0,0,1,1,3,3,5,1,0,4,0,12,3,0,4,1,26,20,9,0,4,7,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,13,6,0,0,4,0,0,2,6,4,0,3,3,3,5,1,8,15,0,12,0,1,0,1,2,1,1,3,8,59,18,0,0.0,0.1985799826197192,0.0,0.18271001647663715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19642732550019867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14000927319640202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08474418847733961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2851229427780885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15494458293875266,0.08756469495118598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15013772999738678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3620760527975577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921092210496921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18295647784749386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15999428325968285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15843728114291414,0.0,0.16051559365109908,0.17051064575849145,0.0,0.16037168668935933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19076682644259094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525778124413179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840158585075494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15796212124788214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3340403144416981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772959127806304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14475360050683836,0.0,0.0,0.0988555137150021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237889794815313
addiction,KlaasVaak12345,2020/02/08,"I need to stop.. So I've been doing cocaine for about 15 years. There were times I would go on a few days straight, only weekends, twice a month anyway thats irrelevant.

At first it was just a thing I'd use at events, gatherings, bars, clubs etc, you get the picture. Later on it would be me home alone doing coke day after day.

I have a kid and there's a baby on it's way. This should be enough motivation for me stop, however I still couldn't.
My cocaine addiction is paired with an gambling addiction so it's not just hurting me and mentally but also financially. After the high, I become extremely agitated, semi aggressive and verbally aggressive. I really think that blow has made me some kind of semi sociopath, lying and deceiving for my habits.

Last night I had 2.5 grams and lost another 1000 euros on fucking blackjack. I really hope it's the last time, but as always I say it's the last time but eventually it never is...

I've probably lost over 250K the last decade with gambling online. I know the money is gone and that's me to blame for. 

Just wanted to get this of my chest, and perhaps some of you can relate and give me some advice in how to solve this matter.

Thanks!",3.4539126539753653,5.151292438297876,4.8498544232922765,82.32105263157895,73.55319148936171,8.181410974244121,24.70884658454647,8.841846274778883,1.8115957446808508,933,29,183,19,19,311,142,235,0.12300000000000001,0.807,0.071,-0.9249,1,1,2,0,0,0,32.0,0,2,0,4,12,9,3,0,12,0,18,6,1,4,1,37,34,16,0,7,7,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,1,1,14,10,2,2,3,4,4,2,3,6,0,2,8,1,21,3,25,20,6,36,0,3,0,1,6,10,1,4,23,122,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760573006406955,0.0,0.12372636413964418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13113458557536287,0.0,0.10125368457580483,0.10535352618957664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327664933304211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13983592601891331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24496791125880404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13082677285133068,0.1412087964513005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769835098793716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705319757452873,0.13230185069104455,0.12146030319272184,0.071958019675157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13377532236973005,0.12700481084897075,0.12575690975923215,0.0,0.0,0.13554359445725422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184966710628326,0.06958409674914155,0.41283133358260016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2764296801197352,0.0,0.0,0.11980583699131506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275977804569796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106260038116864,0.0,0.0,0.09388315374669226,0.0976530185289215,0.0,0.0,0.11881926571202794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09629614177380172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13651200046509732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16222516542003748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068904636482276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101114617767487,0.21171102260794286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165697524213355,0.0,0.0,0.08411714300817183,0.08112955101023497,0.0,0.0,0.2214900503092312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10935439934966312,0.0,0.0,0.07468059714477186,0.10050081049786204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17988681982787902,0.0,0.0,0.08153567912016702
addiction,pizzaconsumer9,2020/02/08,"Need someone for a school assignment Hi! One of my projects for my advanced addiction class is to interview someone with a substance use disorder and do an intake on them. This consists of just asking some intake questions and recording your answers. I won’t use any names of course, this project in my opinion seems inappropriate, but it will be good practice for future work as an LADC. 

If anyone is willing to help, let me know! 
Thank you in advance!!",5.097728055077454,7.419376156626508,4.957177280550777,80.64096385542172,70.56626506024097,7.152495697074013,34.74870912220309,7.957251820313856,2.838960068846817,363,19,61,5,7,112,67,83,0.021,0.83,0.149,0.9094,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,1,3,1,2,0,0,4,0,8,1,0,2,0,16,15,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,8,2,13,10,1,6,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,5,1,43,11,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556914565277234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15950038103854794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16400110463709125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192703032399992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.268811819389824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19672736191488474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572122827169363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289012028130451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398407670632437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17391404081105602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589354940642716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627469414171582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23737464853883802,0.0,0.21352328596567605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.397462766076938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159398770799507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40514756295212107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17075341419465007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Throwawayaddict14,2020/02/08,"Hey everyone. Kind of an uncommon addiction but still need help. Kinda fucked my life up and I’m only 17 Hey there. You can call me Aurora. (Not my real name) I’m 17. Using a throwaway because what I did was illegal. Since I was 16, I’ve been dealing with an addiction with bad dragon toys. And other various sex toys as well. Yes, you heard me. I am a degenerate. Now that that is out of the way, I can begin with today’s fuck up. I ordered a product on bad dragon on my birthday. I spent $150 on it. It got here today, but before I could grab it from the front door my mom found it. Now my allowance is getting taken away, all sources of money are being taken away. Now I can’t even get haircuts anymore, I can’t go to the mall with friends, I can’t do anything that involves money. I’ve fucked my life up, I’m at a loss. My addiction with fantasy sex toys has led me here. Please help.",-0.6310119292472223,1.5610620588235309,2.10697860962567,92.76689325380505,94.18716577540108,5.015960510078158,19.4917729329494,6.67199483983844,0.3520458247634717,683,23,149,10,26,236,112,187,0.16399999999999998,0.736,0.1,-0.9518,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,2,0,1,9,9,3,0,9,1,17,10,0,3,1,21,35,5,0,2,3,1,1,0,1,0,5,1,1,0,9,8,0,0,1,5,3,3,4,6,1,0,10,2,22,3,21,23,2,22,0,1,0,5,13,10,3,1,7,94,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4518481575308376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13701874093927902,0.0,0.0,0.11369485862857122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596139065775016,0.0,0.2307175871778039,0.08422175783875294,0.0,0.1175649670173487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14107798679287545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110310440144233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14243808436561467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912541399745497,0.0,0.0,0.1320189045509174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15148657543802996,0.10674296577674806,0.3831832850237397,0.14436700239147335,0.0,0.07852016841992869,0.0,0.11050009706770172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18521302002429293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14387358231970834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19517461964389995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16181267513807016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024447459402412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050777843025979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15165945938312456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15725764193322472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11428833529170575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110335677005309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619212407218122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193268782709445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10966589411792686,0.0,0.0,0.1242234710041146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,JemmyLee,2020/02/08,"ADVICE: Am I addicted to prescription painkillers? First post here, sorry if I don’t know the rules. I didn’t know where else to get advice.

I’m a pretty straight-laced person. Barely consume alcohol, and the only illegal drug I’ve ever touched is weed in small doses. But my friends are telling me I might have an addiction to a prescription painkiller.

The painkiller is Zapain, a relatively mild (as far as I’m concerned) codeine/paracetamol tablet. I was prescribed them for back problems, which are caused by my job. They also are great for helping me fall asleep, as anxiety keeps me awake most nights.

I started off taking two only when I was in pain, to taking two per evening to help me sleep. From there I found they weren’t affecting me much anymore, and so I would take up to four per evening. I would go through a pack of 60 in about 3-4 weeks.

Now, I don’t feel like I have a problem. I’m not affected during the day. I’m not having moodswings, weight gain/loss, anything like that. My partner has noted that the only effect is that I’m sleepy and a bit dizzy. But when I casually mentioned to my friends that I take them every night, they became concerned that I’m addicted, and that they can damage my liver (?) FYI, none of them are medical professionals.

I don’t know what to think. And I don’t want to give them up because they benefit me so well (the only other thing that helped my pain/sleeplessness was weed, and that’s not legal in the UK).

Any and all advice appreciated.",4.234048734770384,5.744434718213058,4.653172446110592,85.26086457357077,71.23367697594502,7.765135895032802,28.347547641362077,8.296473431620573,1.8763594501718217,1177,44,233,18,22,372,165,291,0.076,0.7879999999999999,0.13699999999999998,0.9490000000000001,2,0,2,0,0,0,47.0,0,0,9,2,15,12,0,0,14,0,25,12,3,4,2,33,47,18,0,6,6,0,3,2,3,3,8,0,0,2,12,7,2,1,7,1,0,2,10,4,1,4,6,3,37,8,27,38,5,24,0,1,0,0,19,10,0,3,13,150,49,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3288202202425657,0.0,0.2947484468752515,0.0,0.1074499187197801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08040422232465383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683727060915466,0.0,0.076915140416407,0.0,0.09971166601456798,0.0,0.0,0.08273834435662762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731138157188883,0.0,0.06129009602050825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10976694501090466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328538452641843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06484193466399389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165979909605598,0.0,0.08399079761513653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13281544210979548,0.09094692407086273,0.08471183658839296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05083757540455633,0.07182795854068101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552184735904332,0.0,0.11024023949002276,0.15535858642362402,0.0,0.052529581819622126,0.09645003302784592,0.057140919229182026,0.0,0.0,0.1108490421575926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20217561482041346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997734402017475,0.08936726202390093,0.0,0.0,0.16576745454896133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982404886840991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128652198661267,0.0,0.10666026290841048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07391069343530278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18870563963743195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3058700105432917,0.21396973896505636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08779029300514815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962924271559565,0.10228840427617993,0.0,0.19241219631258266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10061563791904143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254968708877644,0.07116487196550106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3023833741214646,0.0,0.08787903716534162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06679631952238009,0.06442391191841154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964318557088316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05930288227358975,0.0,0.08064955155532233,0.1224343203727903,0.09040025595784623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14284576324614964,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,SGFluxsa,2020/02/09,Help I can't stop spending money on my parents card. Its been a problem ive had for years and i dont know what to do about it,-1.0440000000000005,0.4479812666666696,1.6833333333333336,100.80500000000002,86.33333333333334,4.0,20.0,3.1291,-0.7399999999999998,98,3,26,0,3,34,27,30,0.095,0.742,0.162,0.2235,1,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,0,0,4,7,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,4,0,4,5,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,18,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5049499874946914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2887879552126578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367824837952129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4784050915408543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4122628100855177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36020774948516976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27745162360307274
addiction,BandicootSVK,2020/02/09,"Got rid of nicotine addiction, and my mother In my country (Slovakia) it´s legal to buy alcohol and nicotine products if you´re 18+. I was a smoker since I was 17 (my older friends bought me cigs), and when I was 18, I bought vape, and stopped smoking. Over the years, I managed to get my nicotine from 18 mg/ml (nicotine ammount of about 4 and 1/2 packs, 20 cigs each) down to 0. At various points during high school, I also battled alcohol addiction, and I was able to get rid of it as well. But now, for the last two weeks, I´ve been vaping on 0 nicotine, and it affects my mood. 

My mom thinks that I´m on some sort of drug, and wants me to get drug tests, or else I´d get kicked out of here. For fuck´s sake, I´m just 19, and my mother wants to kick me out, because I´m fighting my nicotine addiction! She didn´t even believe me that I was a vaper, and kept telling me to get tested for drugs. 

I told her that I don´t have money for drugs, and I don´t know people who´d have them (even through my physical and personality traits mark me as someone, who gets easily addicted). I have only some online friends, and my LDR girlfriend, I don´t even leave this fucking appartment! I told her that it´s a waste of time, since I´m just going to waste money on doing test that will show her that I´m only having withdrawal symptoms from nicotine addiction, WHICH I ALREADY TOLD HER ABOUT.

And then she turned the entire debate into how I´m disrespecting her, how I´m not grateful that she sacraficed her entire life, how she became a single mother just to take care of my sister, and blah blah blah, you know the shit that divorced mothers say everytime they throw a temper tantrum. I know she had a hard life, and I´m grateful for everything she had done for us, but fuck you mom for thinking that everyone is trying to hurt you and that you are always right, no exceptions. She seriously failed as a mother, even through she succeeded as a provider for the family. I don´t hate her, but I don´t respect her either.",6.992614718614718,6.624007932467536,6.700779220779222,79.67497835497839,64.48051948051948,9.619047619047619,33.138528138528144,8.976282227363876,2.651242424242424,1574,57,302,22,21,494,198,385,0.11699999999999999,0.8270000000000001,0.055999999999999994,-0.9636,0,0,7,0,3,0,58.0,1,4,2,2,17,18,8,0,13,0,17,17,1,4,0,48,44,32,0,3,11,8,1,3,3,1,14,1,0,1,15,21,2,2,5,1,5,2,2,11,1,1,16,2,58,6,46,27,6,24,0,2,0,2,43,13,3,5,9,196,73,8,0.08385525604633504,0.0,0.0,0.4570730329558863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792315334034525,0.0,0.0,0.09253636024016587,0.06705901796418456,0.06977429053505486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0511173857694986,0.0,0.0,0.09447615808438103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549602219909201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581304085845164,0.0,0.0,0.3889818989276905,0.0,0.07005030635527487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22154242304339675,0.0,0.0,0.08012729069032433,0.07536369711632268,0.0,0.07905127247381287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12957272561888408,0.23256849896772785,0.2628654617169057,0.0,0.047656874456266124,0.0,0.0670667085836781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751178385666583,0.08278970473847462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08859768198598421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976878593325907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13825396715599425,0.06835322568969784,0.0,0.08879060840992661,0.0,0.0,0.1184588944801359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19642052480698405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12755140177158747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058134676181128865,0.07321917513165381,0.0,0.0,0.07927032137784973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07161193048623526,0.0,0.06668506531157603,0.0,0.08486599593734986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08607621529915388,0.13873186867566875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07105028632746845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07010674884454733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715771863623226,0.06304871663146623,0.0,0.07329318985452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107462124295309,0.0,0.0,0.0488966741467239,0.0,0.0,0.24038187207097295,0.0,0.0569322144518902,0.09121043893547176,0.08191440051200923,0.0,0.10086754819838707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09892000526179333,0.0,0.06726362832929836,0.0,0.07539594579705666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05400003559127574
addiction,Sharkattack8,2020/02/09,"Guilt I have been sober for almost 7 months now 
I did some really awful stuff when I was drinking. I hurt friends and family. Everyone I loved. Some of the stuff is truly awful, some just embarrassing.
I take ownership of that. I made those choices. 
How do I deal with the guilt without drinking? 
I try and tell myself I'm not that person, but then I feel like I'm not taking ownership of what I did.
Sometimes I spend whole days just thinking about everything I've done and how I don't deserve the people around me",1.66,4.237743529411766,2.995588235294118,88.72514705882355,84.29411764705883,6.1450980392156875,21.245098039215684,7.492282038375204,0.9624745098039216,408,13,80,7,12,132,67,102,0.12,0.778,0.102,0.079,0,0,2,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,8,7,0,3,3,2,9,3,0,3,0,20,17,8,0,0,6,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,6,5,2,0,2,2,1,0,4,4,0,0,6,1,15,3,8,11,4,6,0,1,0,1,5,1,0,4,6,58,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18340347038690846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16304695409066933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118119948277773,0.18882496301441706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18743135390277693,0.0,0.3588447250231273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750126371051413,0.1646080787293294,0.0,0.17266241679914535,0.0,0.0926087694401885,0.13084610741009434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14150524878660428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19607142361302515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948037641289416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653047137195896,0.17330587336198516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461927286945243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12697675034383005,0.15992405104496174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173339074307798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18114517043724807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4193377559737119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754198243495614,0.0,0.1600857127175557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11735845303024547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243503543127275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20448623359631224,0.0,0.17655507140499438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,JunkieJonathon,2020/02/09,"I have realised I’m a polyaddict and I don’t know what to do I don’t mean “polyaddict” as in all types of drugs. I mean polyaddict in the sense that I can literally get addicted to anything. ANYTHING. I’ve recently accepted this and come to terms with, I realise now I have a very addictive personality.

Obviously I have preferences to things I get addicted to, but the lengths I’ll go to for drugs I don’t even like is ridiculous. I don’t even like stimulants but I’ll still steal my mother’s Ritalin. I’ll steal anything at this point. I’ll pay any price for a drug. I sneak it to pharmacies in secret to buy co-codomol and then secretly Cold water extract it so I can take even more.

Fuck it I mean when I was a little kid I’d take calpol and paracetamol in high doses. I mean I literally abused paracetamol. These addictive traits have turned me into an asshole. I could never form a relationship properly because of my unpredictable behaviour and the constant rumours about me.

I don’t know what to do, I take responsibility for my actions, addiction isn’t a scapegoat but it’s definetly a key factor that leads to my behaviour and thoughts. Right now I’m on dihydrocodeine as I type this, I mean if that’s just like ironic lol.

If something brings me even the slightest satisfaction or pleasure I’ll do it till I’m on the verge of death.",2.0932704402515725,4.701918358490572,3.751603773584909,83.89860062893085,82.39622641509433,7.6088050314465425,27.323899371069174,8.548686976883017,2.3803484276729567,1075,49,210,27,30,357,134,265,0.131,0.7759999999999999,0.09300000000000001,-0.8966,0,0,4,0,1,0,22.0,0,0,0,1,11,9,2,0,13,1,18,12,0,2,3,34,39,18,1,4,7,1,0,3,0,0,10,0,0,2,15,9,1,0,12,0,3,5,7,4,0,0,2,1,29,5,29,36,4,28,0,0,0,1,7,13,1,3,13,131,44,4,0.0,0.11223426180901896,0.0,0.5163240411708235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06441660775410384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23385311680549986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05774380305027262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08159765535452405,0.0,0.10236464460264083,0.0,0.07563062673510915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3295546195831299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25026127316415697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08757222484372583,0.09898035812802394,0.0,0.053834700878545964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10008272180386074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041173465113335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13883432557127146,0.0949398649896759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.515919352163198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07305816733317606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08271067787720138,0.0,0.0,0.08954624256441643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935300317621508,0.10169976772322968,0.0,0.08089508388972418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07292433982008308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564792953634454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136654264063832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06293143214676612,0.0,0.0,0.07520148879840646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10303417404341296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07815848159046249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,winksnwalksoff,2020/02/09,"I fought my urge to relapse this weekend  I have a year and a half off of heroin. Up until this weekend my craving were few and far between. Basically, if I saw someone using on a movie or had a memory of an old event, the thought of using would quickly pass through my mind and leave. 
 This weekend was a little different though. I felt anxious and just generally crappy and I had an intense urge to get high. The thought, instead of quickly fleeting, was burning through my mind. I had the money, my son was at his dads for the weekend so I had the opportunity. I was like 85% sure I was going to pick up the phone and call my dealer. I even scrolled through snap chat to see if I still had him in my friends list. 
 While scrolling on snap I accidentally swiped over to the stories list and saw my little brother had posted on his story. So I decided to go hang out with him and his girlfriend instead. I am so happy that I was able to find the strength to pull away from that urge. It was the first time in this year and a half that I was that close to relapsing.
 Thank you for reading this, I can’t talk to my family about things like this. They don’t understand addiction and if they find out I had a craving they will be worried and they will think that I’m going to relapse any minute, when in fact I think this experience made me stronger. Currently cleaning up the house with a smile on my face.",4.346690929451288,5.120465251773052,4.969343038447184,85.87026315789477,70.24113475177305,7.780813736468833,30.79955207166853,7.85451343220497,1.889685106382979,1099,45,231,13,19,353,145,282,0.06,0.8320000000000001,0.10800000000000001,0.9247,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,4,3,13,9,1,0,20,0,24,2,1,4,2,40,43,22,0,4,5,3,1,2,2,3,1,0,1,0,14,16,0,0,9,6,1,6,2,1,0,3,23,4,40,8,42,16,1,45,0,0,3,0,20,21,0,4,19,172,54,1,0.13709993135658058,0.0,0.0,0.14945916188860034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323265467944586,0.0,0.0,0.15488389848897996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288098985632712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13999435860633225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432402480347087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09055321164077386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341100402809857,0.12924561370156087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163743424260646,0.0,0.2506137069704765,0.11661713157437505,0.0,0.0,0.10592306687500998,0.0,0.07162905554282334,0.0,0.2337511513773081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459454262919446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14485360478678636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581949133963557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14516903163927558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13396020255160032,0.2748202973271828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297272699872554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768636957459677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14386331526791518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13130383631820228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13713703254508838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092508949032442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11616432693233733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10948818228056632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292150627925359,0.0,0.0,0.11019573157132076,0.0,0.12622319683644756,0.0,0.0,0.0910831024232044,0.17569620032140032,0.13469998646346826,0.21768406257236897,0.07994407250246452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14272586363096829,0.0,0.2368206432171795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392316352816452,0.0,0.09739185764651732,0.0,0.0,0.17657572159164334
addiction,aa-etc,2020/02/09,"Need Advice Advice

I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel so lost, I have no self control. I’ve smoked weed nearly everyday for about 6 months. Smoking at school, when I wake up, before bed, I’ve been high all day so many times. I also used LSD pretty heavily from October to early January. Tripping from anywhere from 1 to 3 times a week. I stopped using after having mini panic attacks the day after tripping. I’m only 15 and I’m afraid I’ve fucked myself up. I can’t stop smoking I have no self control. I know what it does to a developing brain, but I just can’t stop. I used to just not care at all, but I’ve realized my problem and want to stop. I always tell myself I’m going to stop after I smoke what I have, but the second I get some money I can’t control myself and I buy more. It’s to the point where my dad gave me lunch money for school and I spent it on weed. I don’t even want to be high, it just feels like I need it. I can’t sleep without it, and now I convinced my mom to take me to see a doctor so I can get some kind of benzo that I’ll probably abuse as well. I know it’s wrong, I want to stop so bad, but I don’t think I ever will. I always tell myself I’m gonna stop, and I do if I have no money. Sadly the second I get an opportunity to smoke I do. Then after I smoke and sober up I just feel like shit and regret it. I want to talk to my parents and get them to help me quit, but part of me is still mad at them for things they’ve done in the past. They’ve lost a lot of my trust, and I don’t feel like I can talk about anything with them. I know they would help me, but part of me still just wants to get high all day. Anyone gone through anything similar and have any advice?",0.4518394024276376,1.9151676666666688,2.793501400560224,94.83630252100842,81.32804232804233,5.3994397759103645,18.26050420168067,6.068283710208149,-0.37993893557422975,1310,27,318,9,34,450,164,378,0.196,0.703,0.10099999999999999,-0.99,1,0,4,0,1,0,38.0,0,0,4,7,20,22,4,2,10,0,25,7,4,6,4,66,64,26,0,11,14,3,4,3,0,3,1,0,1,2,13,12,1,10,10,0,5,4,13,13,1,2,7,5,57,9,46,53,9,45,0,4,1,1,16,14,2,4,30,203,70,3,0.0,0.0884774310930862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189140608326656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05971741328507185,0.12427083697467672,0.0,0.0,0.050781427007667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07405733923638999,0.05221435880013636,0.0,0.12290200095504987,0.0,0.0,0.08495336925130778,0.0,0.0,0.062350341655087724,0.0,0.0,0.06354275761866161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336177701420022,0.0,0.0,0.07613593886238681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512624251599287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444772114665194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764328255035086,0.06534842366393417,0.0764182503974315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049322003358760434,0.06754763487191208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15103129726628894,0.1600430833698256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06903565243261904,0.19507251339041398,0.0,0.04243941164333205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10010589325889284,0.2366940891118694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07776231645368226,0.1641572760950119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094470108868321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630327382270397,0.06348584743887087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07570852995518174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745822719797419,0.05960471562008177,0.0,0.0,0.11074084101304617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05679355294728821,0.0,0.0876147921831988,0.08291753198819095,0.16173107011180124,0.07128554945794728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059182622521844,0.0,0.0,0.07597112111559058,0.08051206812175743,0.07145370178379093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794258452996607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511497754395001,0.05950615011581872,0.0,0.1558042117931396,0.0,0.07665261256554254,0.0,0.0,0.07472873263162197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11927078888398256,0.4370203554041015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05614615874908205,0.12004155665384413,0.13053813916157395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049610621227494836,0.04784859877057971,0.0,0.0,0.08708695674144609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193485162180412,0.0,0.0,0.22022566895980286,0.0,0.05989962295808609,0.0,0.06714161632349604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07198384568337349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05304683779757317,0.08164517485084959,0.0,0.0
addiction,benzoxazinoid,2020/02/09,"How can you be physically dependent and not addicted? https://www.instagram.com/tv/B8SAUspFZn4/?igshid=65ek78fcpc4o

Am I an asshole for thinking she’s a 🤡 for saying that he’s not psychologically addicted but only physically dependent? I’m an ex benzo addict and I can tell you, I too only took them as prescribed and I developed a horrid physical dependency. I got to the point where I so badly wanted off but couldn’t do it. But to me, that was the heart of addiction. So how can she say he’s struggling so bad and can’t get off the meds BUT HES NOT ADDICTED, just dependent guys! Does anyone else hear BS?",4.156621621621621,7.168556666666671,5.026509009009008,75.50030405405406,76.92792792792794,8.745045045045046,25.466216216216218,9.2995712137729,2.740789189189189,494,18,84,14,12,160,72,111,0.18899999999999997,0.8109999999999999,0.0,-0.9762,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,2,1,0,8,3,0,1,7,0,10,6,1,6,0,21,17,14,0,2,8,1,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,3,3,13,0,8,12,0,5,0,0,0,0,14,4,0,4,0,59,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7640829343970355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980169200623073,0.14363068954187982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340884229664551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12267221824907094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11710216918554354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07323811836713255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211452831415104,0.0,0.0,0.13879996252864552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15799273319360027,0.1661136439821263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15570806845451465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132259886824169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325151461622747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22295308062352748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14654628036807615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252325457311683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982150482286644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15574482759127128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08268163120694982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,anonsweet,2020/02/09,"I am not suffering from addiction but having dependency problems and inability to say no to things please give me some advice. I like to let go and get drunk at the end of the week. Now some weekends that’s fine, down at the pub, a night in with friends. But when I go to certain events, drugs are around me and when I’m offered I literally never say no when drunk. I never ever buy things, and when sober definitely don’t do it. My next step is to avoid situations where I won’t be surrounded by drugs, but I’m going to miss out. It’s hard because i know I’m content and can enjoy drinks but I’m young, studying an intense course, and I just can’t put my mental health through the stupid comedowns. I don’t know who to talk to, it’s embarrassing because I have no control when drinking to say no. And I never learn.  I’m thinking about when I want a drink just to drink alone in my room, and that feels isolating and no fun, but I’m just nervous about making this stupid mistake again, it’s careless and I don’t want to spiral. However now when I try to strategically plan this, I become obsessive, ocd, resentful and control freak to myself and it’s hard. Please offer me some guidance.",2.6925357142857145,4.590726658333338,3.9613095238095255,87.01750000000004,76.16666666666666,6.904761904761906,25.595238095238088,7.793537801064563,1.3587738095238096,938,34,194,14,21,307,129,240,0.258,0.61,0.131,-0.9877,1,2,6,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,4,18,19,3,4,7,0,14,10,0,4,5,46,33,24,0,4,9,0,3,1,1,1,4,3,1,0,12,15,6,3,5,8,1,5,14,13,0,0,0,6,22,6,27,30,3,36,0,2,0,0,9,10,0,4,22,126,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12697312161615554,0.0,0.11381638989127955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206312431781428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10368595732229408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420021215873593,0.12863564194461855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26126948664928906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4563980854666894,0.2701441695193796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10316079910723597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10535679504879232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058892415190447675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998700569658848,0.0,0.0608525075730601,0.11173183113093953,0.1985834324018855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20867445165568504,0.0,0.0,0.12380570306329865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12802139205988616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11910187105344823,0.0,0.056902985656333074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07774685208701651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11737772164194825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694942369373348,0.0,0.12387070762777548,0.10930232991904848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25570547972208546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144924657373556,0.0,0.11708786662157848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27787280031696443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13092090276216262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09361685058033063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547594097948757,0.0746314067635861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907774543958476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13739797529893494,0.0,0.09342787962098144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Throwaway17478,2020/02/09,"Need advice Been addicted to weed and for about 10 months as a coping mechanism for my mental health, I am trying to quit. I have been sober for about 48hrs.

Looking for advice on how to continue staying sober, I’m starting to struggle, little things are making blow up and get really angry for seemingly no reason, feel constantly miserable and everything I used to enjoy is boring asf, so I don’t really have anything to do to pass time, other then listen to music.

Any advice would help a lot.",10.112021276595744,7.648047329787238,10.14521276595745,64.18250000000003,59.744680851063826,13.229787234042554,36.26595744680851,11.698219412168324,4.301434042553192,395,12,65,9,4,132,68,94,0.138,0.802,0.06,-0.7713,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,2,2,0,10,2,0,4,0,12,20,7,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,3,5,1,18,17,1,11,0,1,1,0,2,3,0,2,6,45,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991403098386044,0.0,0.5355172226807005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12422376457442565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15032414538154748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974043954690099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16417452914768335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923648537493094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09543899573634916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19417263869705934,0.0,0.0,0.12244172377065896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18308613024494289,0.0,0.0,0.15339914030482538,0.0,0.0,0.1553018776897211,0.0,0.0,0.12193550899999832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18409121204871556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14580768200146724,0.0,0.0,0.13544956269840114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19429500289820809,0.0,0.0,0.2340497398937671,0.1878180571553992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16629845166669188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12929674436426242,0.19470489385768014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19096926763076588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135968788007585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651797565790384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12402283670541453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577706434002283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297655122804753,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,KidCodi3,2020/02/09,Anyone here watch Bojack Horseman? I don't want to spoil anything but it has helped me see things differently. Most people on this sub will relate to it and hopefully find comfort in its darkness and the morsels of hope that it peppers in here and there.,4.685624999999998,6.8454529791666685,4.331666666666667,85.38000000000002,71.29166666666666,6.466666666666668,28.66666666666667,7.1686216300943375,1.5786916666666668,205,8,37,2,4,62,41,48,0.065,0.742,0.193,0.8418,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,9,7,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,3,6,6,1,3,0,0,2,0,1,3,0,3,0,27,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22814398857459026,0.0,0.26850231761928633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3408952858660519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982158731634916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21869997346253306,0.0,0.0,0.6481433729941536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262028835690571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600045417412221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21676728897175213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19244960067522865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,HolyChickenWar,2020/02/09,"How to help someone with same addiction I suffered through First of: Is this even possible, and is it a good idea?

Situation: The kid is in his 2nd year of high school and heavily game addicted and skipping school because of it. I had a very similar experience in my 3rd to 6th year of high school and I want to spare this guy the suffering and regret that came with it.  


I know him since he was born (our parents are close friends) but we’re about 7 years apart age-wise so we don’t have a close bond. I haven’t mentioned to anyone that I want to help him but I just heard his parents rant about how bad he’s doing at school and how he’s lying to them about it.  


I want to know if it’s advisable to help in this situation or if I should let it be. I’m concerned he’ll walk off a similar or worse path than I did. I turned out really lucky, dropped all gaming over the course of the past two years with some relapses. I fear he won’t be as lucky but of course I hope he will.  


Any professional tips are welcome, as are links to dedicated research or websites.",2.788724598930486,4.069253813636365,3.992513368983962,89.48788770053478,74.5,7.903743315508021,25.668449197860962,8.4952907291091,1.4495828877005348,829,28,189,15,17,271,126,220,0.115,0.735,0.15,0.7294,2,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,2,0,1,1,9,11,0,1,8,0,19,2,0,3,1,41,30,20,0,8,9,2,0,0,1,4,2,1,0,2,11,14,0,0,4,2,0,2,3,5,0,2,5,1,21,6,32,18,3,22,0,3,0,0,27,12,0,9,7,116,32,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.259191313384778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08084179621830924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312296054919846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925899903249158,0.0724675347214776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13596590574106338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851845801823712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11628647263666148,0.0,0.13377192480592695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111841627499843,0.0,0.0,0.09184562014853477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971006463392124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11770889966920715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23904626257938916,0.2512043798371545,0.0,0.11807366996655087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341999204733164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13066557837988735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215618313230472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26400212120476324,0.0,0.11348345649521628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340182100776666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07615693117279562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4812475767047038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833793687693224,0.2672499526240534,0.0,0.0,0.10072579052896367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12930621452988178,0.1161275087513396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09808762463226894,0.2103537419230213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114785664309735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30621671239743325
addiction,knefebae,2020/02/09,"How do I know if I’m an addict? I think I’m an addict but I’m not sure. My behavioral patterns over the last 6 months (after a break up) on the weekends have involved partying until early morning and drinking heavily. I do it even though I know it’ll fuck me up the next day and effect my mood and performance at work (I plan to work 6 days but always write off the 6th). I tell myself I can’t have a problem because “I only do ecstasy once every 2 months”, I only smoke “one cigarette only when I’m really really drunk” and I can say “no” during the week when I want to focus on work, it’s just the weekends that I love to dance and get drunk. I just wonder why I struggle to be okay with planning a “no party” weekend. Do I have a problem or is this normal for full time workers in their late 20s who are just bogged down by the shittyness of life and need a release? A part of me wonders if I only feel bad about my behavior because we are programmed to work like dogs and not enjoy our lives/find ourselves/feel balanced or maybe that’s just me and everyone else is fine. Maybe if I do less days or quit my job I’ll feel better and be less inclined to party? Any insights from you would be great, thank you!",4.031704545454545,4.243871940711461,5.3618552371541535,84.78452198616603,70.699604743083,8.06413043478261,27.670207509881426,7.865858978985527,1.563118774703558,943,30,200,11,16,317,148,253,0.14,0.6990000000000001,0.16,0.7603,1,0,3,0,0,0,19.0,2,2,1,11,10,15,1,1,15,1,19,8,0,2,1,43,36,22,0,9,14,0,2,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,7,11,3,0,9,7,0,1,5,5,0,1,0,3,30,9,24,31,4,30,0,0,0,2,11,10,1,8,19,129,37,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490934315011821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09506313109055543,0.0,0.0,0.07769226586248923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953919494966682,0.1392885175083498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10104269214529668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210406951075476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11191912488292577,0.0,0.0,0.0954391854782021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754594430211828,0.0,0.09625850585923908,0.10916844987479243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17330101366092318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10442020994510394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562003824696876,0.059689640350216365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12595835014017004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11337308533306285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12557495416296738,0.0931270186249692,0.12887623614021607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08069643796055387,0.055815592226863435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311289317309416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295540815785937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182382642059834,0.0,0.0,0.08471312612505201,0.0,0.0,0.12150358765991122,0.0,0.11193836233129864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12166993426833572,0.07741711072679631,0.3475617031549653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12371898583564656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21863899157489816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12151635456094045,0.0,0.0,0.14637983866588258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090854253864634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943636681083833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076769834177976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985741254774512,0.10518381355060308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320523025613655,0.11224765824779878,0.0,0.06661867729012418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06738617731237169,0.0,0.0916425099912979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030906625772372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24779323412253354,0.3326943689076787,0.0,0.0,0.08115819637583555,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ColonelCatz,2020/02/09,"Need help with Obituary So my fathers passing soon. He’s had a life of pain, struggled with an addiction since he was 16. He’s an IV opiate user. His addictions always been present in his life, especially since he contracted AIDS from needle use. He’s 46 and his livers started to shut down. 

This is generational in my family, every generation has struggled with poverty, mental illness and addiction. 

He’s a generous man, always looks after other people in poverty as well and put others first. He did his best for years to keep his using in check and functional in order to parent myself and brothers. It eventually got to a point where he admitted he wasn’t going to beat it and couldn’t have us anymore. It was probably his greatest deed. Thanks to having the ability to admit that my brothers and myself were given a much better chance at life. 

I don’t want an obituary that’s basic. I want to talk about the addiction in it. And more importantly my cities complete lack of resources. 

Any ideas would be helpful.",4.285291037881123,6.655189743455503,5.47239297813366,75.83955343393903,73.03141361256544,8.263751154912226,28.51278102864181,9.007467420416297,2.756734893748076,815,33,135,18,17,270,122,191,0.09300000000000001,0.7290000000000001,0.17800000000000002,0.9336,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,0,4,5,7,0,2,9,0,15,11,1,2,0,23,29,10,0,6,0,4,0,0,0,1,10,0,0,1,9,11,0,1,3,0,1,3,3,3,1,1,9,1,15,4,26,17,5,21,0,0,1,0,26,11,0,0,6,92,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5483993214705707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092891662086284,0.0,0.0,0.08552290123775921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12472273590280875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13198012163839526,0.11122682657285864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318597252115552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10596044018673198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11855781532786305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697362914910973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147380104173333,0.0,0.10058386414393668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685920803526329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14197070181074484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178360431903367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26648959522513377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10560893538519947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12673915172928965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09245000375761367,0.09325139688881946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13382030564123093,0.0,0.13964451802494915,0.0,0.0,0.08718797290847652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888633577667905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355933863257763,0.0,0.0,0.12642617939610531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080642948788445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901543707447042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629488145200773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10108323848976887,0.0,0.11578533330487277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15127695959404333,0.2172370673189742,0.0,0.0,0.14835611558237666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307570818974665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933816431059187,0.0,0.0,0.08098701067018646
addiction,morganlee903,2020/02/09,"Please Read, any advice is helpful! Hi I'm 20 years old and my dad has been clean for 13 years. He was really bad into heroin for the final three or four years before he got clean. In that time he overdosed 13 times, 3 of those times I found him when I was a child. My dad has done amazing things since he's gotten clean; he speaks at rehabs, schools, and prisons. He sponsors other addicts. He got remarried and lives in a beautiful house with his wife and three other children. I still have nightmares about him using where I wake up in cold sweats and tears, and I still panic every time I see an ambulance, but aside from that, I very rarely worry about him relapsing because 13 years is such a long time and that past just seems so out of reach. But today I went over to his house to take my siblings sled riding, and after getting dressed and going back upstairs from the basement, all of my nightmares came to life. I found him standing at the counter holding a 10 dollar bill, no big deal. Then I noticed that there was a credit card sitting beside him on the counter and I asked what he was doing, to which he casually replied ""nothing."" I picked up the dish towel that was sitting next to him on the counter only to find a pile of white powder. My whole world just crumbled around me, I immediately started crying and asked him what the f\*ck he was doing. He said it was ""only pain pills."" I made him rinse the powder down the sink, and yelled some more obscenities before going back downstairs. I didn't say anything else about it after the fact but I just have no idea what to do. Am I making mountains out of molehills? Is this as big of a deal as I feel like it is, or am I overreacting? Do I call his sponsor?  Do I tell my stepmom (who is also in recovery with 14 years clean)? Do I start drug testing him? I just have so many things running through my mind right now, so any type of advice or anything at all really would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.",4.78923076923077,5.595349256410259,5.025128205128208,85.75153846153849,69.25641025641025,7.230769230769233,27.82051282051281,7.010146845296331,1.283589743589744,1550,50,311,12,26,488,214,390,0.057,0.847,0.09699999999999999,0.9287,1,0,1,0,0,0,47.0,0,0,0,1,21,9,0,1,18,0,30,9,2,4,3,46,54,26,0,1,10,3,1,1,0,1,6,4,4,2,19,19,1,1,6,2,3,7,3,3,0,3,19,8,43,6,46,33,5,60,0,0,2,0,40,23,0,5,28,202,62,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10350880931292598,0.0,0.1855668167875165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593096291721918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12913763135036954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15627045385274174,0.08452505418702705,0.1775296547977986,0.0,0.0,0.14602038244984286,0.07927874332882227,0.05788024401672556,0.0,0.16158981131242536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695390491128847,0.10859676450281476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10429740528053298,0.0,0.19577722650104196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09716615335340807,0.0,0.0,0.11011110451514018,0.0,0.07931800040738783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07999892464192787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04800924555004482,0.0678318364220991,0.0,0.10401237461335967,0.08678198806356056,0.0,0.0,0.20821412842981116,0.0,0.0,0.04960711780903269,0.0,0.10792381030757063,0.0,0.1518793420198017,0.10468199636944464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06364254955711741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21911760936038216,0.0,0.1071862617360242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06706553568074873,0.04638745757108432,0.0,0.08384201784033993,0.08402718911075271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984337314701261,0.06337943011028033,0.0962637405793516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958717790415602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097971359687542,0.0,0.0,0.09110646455461464,0.10810046718008097,0.09963337328420932,0.0,0.0,0.14442652236766176,0.10103280552333052,0.1114026072178409,0.0,0.0,0.09063990073692753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422587632694684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09497504717730364,0.0,0.12165397310086686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108622826962579,0.09031857744282464,0.07550753612303053,0.0,0.0960938138684558,0.07566234083551987,0.08643832449870754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07854308559569746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344112808504644,0.0,0.15165335116953338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07139009651288047,0.0,0.08298991917687466,0.08741660696551982,0.0,0.0,0.12616026158878474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768286551253397,0.0,0.09000088406588926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200575491786292,0.0,0.07834315974121421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08801900105591642,0.0,0.10600756126739863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09642567644957396,0.0,0.06744929581017473,0.0,0.0,0.3057213499755978
addiction,Partuu,2020/02/09,"Advice on what should I do (Cannabis) Hello!

My girlfriend has been dealing with depression for the last 5 months. She doesn’t like the routine of going to school and hates her class (and some other problems that I’m not going to discuss).
About a month ago she took 4 strong antidepressants at once (paroxetine) and had to go to the hospital. After that I took the pills away from her (they were her mothers pills). She says that she has had cravings from time to time.

Lately about two weeks ago she started smoking weed and has done it every weekend since then. I’m scared because I don’t want her to become mentally addicted to the drug. I have had friends who dropped out of school because they liked smoking so much and some who have became dealers because of the habbit of cutting the product.

Can this be a problem when shes smoking every weekend? Summer is coming in 4 months and she only has plans about smoking weed and chilling. 
(She is 16 years old at the moment)",4.8378571428571435,6.471575596774192,4.626912442396313,85.55322580645165,69.91397849462365,6.604608294930878,29.952380952380967,6.868970318607317,1.6357800307219663,775,31,142,6,14,237,113,186,0.09300000000000001,0.8390000000000001,0.068,-0.5848,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,2,2,5,10,2,1,10,0,21,4,0,0,0,17,32,10,0,4,1,1,0,2,2,1,4,1,0,0,9,10,0,0,0,2,0,6,3,6,0,1,8,1,19,4,25,22,3,33,0,1,0,0,23,6,0,2,22,98,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14669859606855348,0.0,0.13149794534560288,0.23857219603414706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264307322494489,0.0,0.0,0.2460935622886717,0.1486193915488618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11591811080354145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13873333323288226,0.11590291552422813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377094218061564,0.0,0.0,0.1560557458940033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22675808967110375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039666287799828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294336814361227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13285768989172095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096905912452226,0.151798165005241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13148590822439046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13561253559358327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222318313599231,0.0,0.09892270268610992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14120610679793028,0.14331015019826668,0.0,0.10234475793430703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575261251698613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070135925180709,0.13472568824141332,0.2723792820910166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11131574659454783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952476718040888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15693495202195026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.299019210141216,0.0,0.0,0.13145303580039394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07937148359614311,0.0,0.10794204788862916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665715145851348
addiction,justwalkmeg,2020/02/09,"Cousin is a recovering addict.. trying to be motivational.. need advice Long story short, my older cousin is a recovering heroin addict; previous suicide attempts; about a year clean; father to a 5 year old (the mother of his child is absolutely awful and fuels the fire intentionally by making it nearly impossible for him to spend time with his daughter even with family supervision); extremely pessimistic, unmotivated, and depressed; and I’m the only person around (he hasn’t made friends here, all our family lives out of town).


So in summary, I am trying to be supportive as best I can. Although our work schedules are completely opposite I invite him over as much as possible, he usually flakes and doesn’t come, when he does he either gets completely hammered drunk or stays for about an hour and dips out.. I’m assuming because he just feels socially awkward and doesn’t know how to hang out sober.


I’ve tried to be as supportive as possible, when he texts me big long sob stories late at night, obviously drunk, I try my best to be understanding and positive, although I just want to shake him and tell him to not up and deal with it, life is hard for everyone. I have tried a bit of tough love, still being nice but trying to express that his attitude towards life is going to effect his outcome. I just feel like I’m at a loss and I can’t help him if he won’t help himself. My mother is a recovering meth addict and has basically ruined any sympathy I have for addiction making this situation even harder. He is like a brother to me and I want to be there for him and help him get better but I just want to scream. I need some advice for how to navigate this situation as gracefully as possible.",7.8578328173374645,7.344626486068113,8.624953560371518,67.0670278637771,62.777089783281745,12.182043343653252,35.408668730650156,11.557038098267885,4.216846439628483,1357,53,240,37,17,460,176,323,0.10300000000000001,0.741,0.155,0.9634,0,0,1,0,0,1,37.0,2,0,0,8,17,19,0,2,12,1,24,9,0,8,2,52,46,31,1,6,10,7,4,2,1,1,6,1,1,2,5,21,2,0,7,2,1,4,6,8,0,0,1,5,31,11,48,38,7,34,0,4,0,1,40,14,1,4,17,160,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3930495383926868,0.0,0.1761612179762206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06129609490282439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08024083590409692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05494653871452924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18918595941321092,0.07971864867395098,0.09840600823335532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07764484658290967,0.1890133780180819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09292705255574032,0.07763466840520397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07887929533862284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11906897371039027,0.0,0.0,0.08612954699716499,0.0,0.0,0.16994585063491066,0.0,0.09115171900479882,0.06439372689872319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06963944534124912,0.0,0.09418548471988387,0.0,0.05122680391232321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807448417563145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18125033191572204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08876656233250221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04953681181994846,0.0,0.1016782032738154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273325334159976,0.08807254622360043,0.0,0.07959241978726386,0.1595364110148836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08135195460548855,0.08528959172044454,0.12033398854548685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06626089763184037,0.1336705465037328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458725313889769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09458337806658157,0.0,0.0,0.06855307572983255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07870395131626416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3048469965255473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20263501338567735,0.0,0.09188308639542844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607380433873712,0.07198334140416668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09859499720352026,0.2045722781263891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878351040901102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05255947577463601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36718170286610297,0.0,0.0,0.09383555699760757,0.0,0.0,0.09927291834555553,0.0,0.15949500791964727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06562064249192615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609024998193265
addiction,wife2one,2020/02/09,"I need to understand Hello all, I have come to the masses seeking advice. Sorry for the long back story...  My husband is a drug user, his drug use got unhealthy 3 years ago.  He spent too much Mo ey we didn't have, his health suffered and our life was altered.  We addressed his drug use and decided he needed to get help.  He did outpatient rehab for a month.  He was clean for a while, I don't know how long for sure.

Now 3 years later he is using regularly again, maybe 1 or 2 times a week.  Other than the emotional stress on me his behavior is mostly the same. I confronted him about it this week and he says he isn't an addict, he just enjoys using, he doesn't use it to escape or deal with emotions he just uses it for fun, he can't use it forever he just want to use it now while he is still young.  He also says that he wasn't an addict before he just made bad choices because he ""wanted to get back at"" me and his parents for ""not understanding"", and for things that went in our life like us having kids.  

So the question is.  Are there just drug users and how do I know if he is one?",2.6340476807463062,3.689642599118944,4.1727131381186835,88.92934179839338,74.55066079295155,6.9270795542886745,22.163513863695254,7.285733465282438,0.6025456854107278,838,20,185,9,17,280,128,227,0.069,0.838,0.09300000000000001,0.5267,1,0,4,0,0,0,28.0,5,0,0,0,18,8,1,1,11,0,20,10,0,11,2,44,43,15,0,5,9,2,0,1,0,0,10,2,2,1,10,10,0,0,6,0,1,2,7,4,0,1,9,2,19,4,19,34,4,25,0,1,0,0,38,4,0,5,20,113,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19485740605227697,0.0,0.08733331203549577,0.07922291099105884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147077901539198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13744314683844322,0.07462191084353166,0.05448035913868609,0.0,0.07604901381298193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698608913442903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09213863721678953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4145727179317867,0.0,0.0,0.20106300615101813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09338639254147726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147897559480815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094998287221456,0.0,0.0,0.059904186916894364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823305932181227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12625221374877885,0.043662658838704176,0.0,0.0,0.15818286594801684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456597442584762,0.0,0.0,0.08978621518750339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713359006027654,0.0,0.0656987243289235,0.13253645361763525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06056079957376896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09923706133988086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10011712582810887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14214444861259715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10004466906841752,0.0,0.0,0.07137261751966667,0.0,0.10237535685228603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08423207932011048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0593748046259223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05211354861168118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18607886737937568,0.10750354636809037,0.6175099024217272,0.0,0.0,0.1054278760843618,0.0,0.14337770107711126,0.0,0.0,0.08284876593072113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510531253614968
addiction,Notsleepin8,2020/02/10,"I’m really going out on a limb posting here but I need some help I guess I’m what you call a functioning addict as I hold down a full time job. I’m constantly tired and can sleep for 15 hours easily. I really hate how much I can sleep and how tired I am. Currently just to function I need 60 mg of Ritalin (in 1 dose), an energy drink and 10 mg of Norco.  Today I wanted a little extra  boost of energy so I took 80 mg of Ritalin and I barely feel a boost. I’ve been on Ritalin for years and slowly my tolerance has increased to where I need lots just to be normal. I tried some speed last month and it didn’t do anything for me because I hadn’t taken my Ritalin. I am not sure what I’m trying to get out of this post but I’m sick of always being tired (for clarification my username refers to NoSleep, the reason I came to reddit in the first place, not that I can’t sleep).
I also vape instead of smoking cigarettes and today I read that smoking decreases caffeine’s effects, I’m assuming that’s from the nicotine? This is my first post here so I apologize if I’m doing this wrong. I’m just hoping I’m not alone and hope I can hear from others who may have similar experiences.
Do you have any tips on how I can lower my caffeine and Ritalin tolerance? I don’t know what else to write here. I will monitor any comments and reply to any questions. Thanks in advance",2.0192631578947378,3.7615748561403533,4.299508771929826,84.54189473684212,77.63157894736842,7.788070175438597,23.68070175438596,8.608573733854374,1.6268343859649117,1074,35,223,23,25,373,152,285,0.11900000000000001,0.748,0.133,-0.1815,3,1,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,0,4,14,6,1,0,9,0,22,15,3,5,1,48,48,20,0,8,9,0,1,0,0,2,11,1,0,0,12,13,1,1,8,2,0,5,7,2,0,2,6,2,31,4,31,38,7,33,0,0,0,0,10,13,0,10,12,143,43,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11881804734835888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11288348731758885,0.0,0.08716136150141165,0.09069059383002843,0.0,0.0,0.22235616414815149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969164222965269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06644089155081265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11129365452877617,0.12465852512673707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11778230548411077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10677127694122478,0.0,0.0,0.0910493511667248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066156996643232,0.0,0.0,0.05510994521904776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18541813945620345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05694414718683467,0.0,0.0619430195761071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12006766253825313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10760765072878543,0.0,0.0,0.12284260783881908,0.0,0.07305545795418146,0.0,0.0,0.2165085353435932,0.10733577909089884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10815836082028092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059899495380441786,0.08884353506800982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10923924196915308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09266163074458153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08699687209408129,0.0,0.08012211900169232,0.24244994748260534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10678962954119386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11387409348557848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31315441442738223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12209668226656388,0.0,0.10902211828473096,0.0,0.13964693084542798,0.11206256948205713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32721400950610363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10272425761659323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034576394421862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06355447516090322,0.37581296117588414,0.2066245254933982,0.0,0.12109481488161256,0.1479976735587567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428667314327226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11916632366592808,0.0,0.07018767596289707
addiction,BumblingSnafu,2020/02/10,"I went back to weed for the first time in 3 years I could tell what it was doing when I took it. I thought “if I play my cards right, how many of these can I take tonight?”, “I should maybe cancel my plans tomorrow?”, “I’ve missed this so much.”. This was on Friday, and as it stands I’m starting conversations with random people on Grindr who’re 8 years younger than me with the intent of getting some more. This was very clearly going this way during the first smoke, but as it stands there’s not much to stop me going down this route.",3.3150688073394505,4.414241183486241,3.364116972477067,95.211129587156,72.94495412844037,6.1839449541284415,20.9644495412844,5.985473137389443,-0.13992752293578015,415,8,95,2,8,126,78,109,0.031,0.9059999999999999,0.064,0.5087,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,5,2,0,0,3,0,7,0,0,2,1,15,17,8,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,11,3,0,1,1,1,0,4,1,1,0,2,6,0,11,1,14,9,4,23,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,3,11,61,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17342332790544635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800722118883821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3836817574870445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11783329578930632,0.0,0.25635470925032017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286581909704577,0.22658131156083386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3315899460787836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563583237445745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19260658433968267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596356018388597,0.0,0.0,0.1885582659540747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16957506765889255,0.0,0.1971284792546181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17905045891867685,0.13151190491619527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25057888905912523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18609089023056424,0.0,0.17902004648618575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20907421040721225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.290475688585328
addiction,LondonSmiles,2020/02/10,Hep me please. I can’t stop it :(,-5.88875,-6.293052374999998,-2.2299999999999978,118.175,135.25,1.6,4.0,3.1291,-3.4762,23,0,8,0,2,8,8,8,0.447,0.35100000000000003,0.20199999999999999,-0.4215,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7955357694917712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6059066260234618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,brownhippyyy,2020/02/10,"You don't have to want treatment for it to work. It's also worth noting that court-mandated treatment works. 

You don't have to want treatment for it to work.

There are different kinds of drug courts to meet different needs. 

There are adult criminal drug courts and drug courts that deal with family issues.

In any case, drug courts have an excellent record and are successful",5.071304347826086,7.53181953623189,4.115289855072465,86.04076086956526,71.02898550724638,8.657971014492754,24.54347826086957,9.2995712137729,2.0486695652173905,304,9,56,7,6,89,41,69,0.079,0.795,0.127,0.6763,2,0,4,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,5,3,3,0,0,1,0,8,4,0,0,0,6,11,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,10,11,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,31,7,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13003182978248426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057414428269068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16763432211062676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33976653153844144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7542613895247785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15328559705263814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16971302773360186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16932374897632374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056645956713967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19181237179992405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3551260354674292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,akatem698,2020/02/10,"Please help me find a safe, sober, affordable living situation I'm 21 years old and I've beaten meth before, but pills and suicidal ideation, and highs have taken over my thoughts and all I can think about is how to get a bigger high without someone noticing. I smoke at least 3 bowls a day, I vape, I drink when I can, and I take any drug that is offered. I am so uncomfortable with who I've become and I fought with my mom last night because I took her Klonopin and 3 of another friend's 300 mg gabapentin, and I drank and smoked and I couldn't move for a while until my dad moved me to the living room. I don't have the money for residential and barely a deductable. I just need help and don't know where to get it.",4.676234153616704,4.668662067114099,5.121700223713648,87.82976882923195,69.26845637583892,8.23296047725578,27.29381058911261,7.793537801064563,1.2778539895600298,564,16,127,6,9,180,100,149,0.113,0.8220000000000001,0.065,-0.8641,1,0,5,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,6,4,2,0,7,0,10,4,0,1,1,26,22,18,1,2,3,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,3,14,2,1,4,1,1,3,4,2,0,0,5,0,19,2,13,16,2,18,0,0,0,0,9,7,0,0,8,73,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11067363644910408,0.1706545671096379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992091463488684,0.1797414304055063,0.13848582976211996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10495844195563696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15943023931002573,0.1887350143050777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487479381005311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12573803712020046,0.0,0.17005732765189202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181719555709768,0.34390257897588977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08944157227145053,0.13266064116511994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874174136412801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906074841089116,0.0,0.3459489090509301,0.0,0.12067494259757093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15272716666476152,0.0,0.0,0.18528869826033634,0.17077574704986104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786474883359363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18293460487865795,0.0,0.0,0.13789512410074803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17801895689279934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12236559560390875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10428179625859388,0.0,0.12920305060888554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180818061456794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15688243589860654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10480382267544754
addiction,Man_of_Hour,2020/02/10,"Nicotine I vaped for 3 years everyday all day. They banned flavored pods last week in the US. Haven’t had nicotine in 5 days. The only symptom for me is fatigue, I don’t feel a strong urge to find a new source. Idk if this is what addiction is but it’s not that bad at all. The fatigue should go away in a few more days and then I’ll be back to normal.",0.08159090909090949,1.9719373376623401,1.8027110389610392,99.28120941558443,84.71428571428572,4.888961038961039,20.01461038961039,5.985473137389443,-0.26089480519480546,273,8,67,2,8,89,60,77,0.098,0.821,0.081,0.184,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,0,1,1,1,4,0,0,6,0,8,4,0,0,2,11,10,4,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,2,5,1,9,7,4,16,0,2,0,0,2,5,0,1,10,42,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27926961611976964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406857530152853,0.1969835051872109,0.2138962312759705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.495636915815172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12953026572286602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341401920618412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14559070515273656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20881760378053452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474163444619472,0.0,0.0,0.2509980555403694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19483336600459467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662649168777877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30814814518957445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20548890776672651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16496892315549222
addiction,keegs187,2020/02/10,"From a tough 8 y/o to a weak 21 y/o; a short story. My mother occasionally physically abused me ever since I can remember. Used to think it was bipolar disorder, later theorized it was rage induced from pain pills after trying them. My dad had a by far worse pain pill addiction, but never would show aggression towards me. At the age of 6, mom got caught cheating. She moved out of the house her parents bought her after they disowned and kicked her out. They let my dad live there so I wasn’t on the street or with my moms new dope head, physically abusive boy toy. My dad began drinking heavily, but I stayed with him rather than my new abusive stepdad. I started stealing my dads cigarettes at 8, and I immediately fell in love with the buzz. I would have people buy me Marlboro red shorts at 9. Somehow I ended up huffing gasoline just weeks after. I loved it. Did it everyday between 4th and 5th grade summer. I wouldn’t hang out with friends so that i could be with my real friend; gasoline. This led to me; being white af, joining a small gang of delinquents called GD FOLK. I was beat in and eventually was dealing the new K2 spice. And then I was smoking K2 from 10 to 12. Eventually, my parents would end up back together when I was 12. I only chewed tobacco on occasion during this time. Then I decided to smoke my moms weed that was in her bedroom. I got super faded and played nba 2k, uneventful, but quickly spiraled into a 9 year weed addiction. I’ve done every psychoactive substance besides actual heroin and meth in excess before the age of 16. I fell into a depression and confided in a counselor who really helped me. I suffered through high school with drinking and smoking weed everyday afterwards. Other drugs; benzos, adderall, percs were all taken by me when they came around. I have always been smart, but I started to apply myself my senior year and scored better than 86% of students nationwide on the SAT. I became addicted to Kratom while studying for that. I got into a good college and still smoked weed everyday, and then after freshman year my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer. He died unexpectedly from an aneurysm 5 months later while heading into remission. I was in history class when it happened. since his diagnosis in May of 2018, I haven’t been sober a day. Always on something. Still making good grades, but can’t hold down anything as I’m very unreliable with my addiction. I just don’t see me coming out on top of this.",4.9387090853472,6.571346327623129,5.709217497705718,77.89542612419702,69.66381156316916,8.506307739369838,30.47347812786785,9.002800196639251,2.688109868461303,1953,80,346,37,35,637,269,467,0.124,0.78,0.095,-0.9277,2,0,9,0,1,0,57.0,0,0,4,4,16,20,3,0,18,0,31,21,3,4,3,59,51,29,1,6,9,11,0,0,2,5,13,0,1,1,13,31,3,1,4,5,2,8,6,10,0,0,25,4,57,10,66,17,1,88,0,2,3,2,32,35,0,3,44,225,70,7,0.0,0.2967540864347175,0.0814709276350785,0.3640510878401936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13893516211344736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06870239970394848,0.07432081899790491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06419608078598099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104099035466571,0.0,0.0,0.07383715775263723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852492043614435,0.09548648688841116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07191635685233297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06665729692374234,0.0,0.0,0.053841982789279465,0.08607107061120915,0.0719069296013021,0.08473719271214375,0.0866459622078713,0.0,0.09568293423069107,0.0,0.0,0.0854358292409077,0.0,0.16357026726157667,0.09681800913397272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14788878409631254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07551845493099424,0.07034110365885206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12900315790596625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14004928261120836,0.2003157027760953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07382696917434953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17136277829048546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05595934189801057,0.08820822981649748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09633238535696807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537075636347402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07372024179414707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15069992293167495,0.0,0.055727987384590935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2933356675560493,0.06663824779010293,0.0887330969287974,0.0,0.0,0.06439005152883771,0.2418957814019416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06349535963403911,0.17767136441072964,0.0,0.18540409044116746,0.0,0.0,0.05787913139424911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502608563762974,0.05348368600391384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457410008228986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449294728085475,0.06652805126574562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381220397724562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427210221832826,0.0,0.0,0.1181845616242992,0.0889856610072384,0.13334509360689034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05349487449293076,0.0,0.0,0.048681737193518516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056681955371348125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210566058379958,0.0,0.06888522995758549,0.0,0.0,0.06696795506343868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08508002915775492,0.1779195631517331,0.0,0.0,0.16128799679954903
addiction,slipperyslimesand,2020/02/10,"Advice to quit? Ive been snorting ritalin for maybe a year now and its getting incredibly out of hand, i dont want to stop but i know i need to. Im 17 and have a perscription but my mom cant know im abusing my meds. Does anyone habe advice to fight this?",-1.9022807017543848,-0.04773421052631477,1.3712280701754374,96.5119298245614,101.63157894736842,4.63859649122807,16.859649122807017,6.42735559955562,-0.18606666666666705,198,6,48,3,9,70,41,57,0.084,0.7809999999999999,0.135,0.4108,0,0,1,0,1,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,2,0,5,2,1,0,0,10,10,4,0,2,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,2,6,0,7,9,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,26,8,0,0.0,0.2600594207656696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4289656179680248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15347231194956545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19207692850069968,0.0,0.2572403110234674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467431685768865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4741731131277809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24125161415923405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22050691989823606,0.0,0.2438035926830267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570637011642937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16274884234973186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23345432916923264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835032296373756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12946072054728489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14134418005183289
addiction,crashy666,2020/02/10,https://youtu.be/W_NXPFsB7bU The moment after I threw my stash out the window,10.008181818181818,14.633328454545453,4.791363636363638,70.50704545454549,82.63636363636364,5.836363636363638,14.590909090909092,7.1686216300943375,0.9018727272727278,67,1,7,1,2,17,10,11,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,manbel13,2020/02/10,"Do addiction urges ever disappear completely? I see people who are alcohol free or crack free for 10 years and they are still counting their time. I thought by then addiction should be an old story.

They sometimes report still feeling an urge. The question for those who succeeded in beating an addiction for a long period, Did it ever disappear completely and after how long?",5.835909090909091,8.681481984848489,6.042424242424243,71.3336363636364,70.06060606060606,10.460606060606061,33.72727272727273,10.504223727775694,4.6141999999999985,305,15,45,10,6,97,49,66,0.092,0.7559999999999999,0.152,0.6662,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,3,2,5,3,0,0,5,0,6,4,0,1,2,10,9,5,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,5,5,6,5,0,15,0,0,1,0,6,1,0,2,12,35,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5847331640775374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19107563064869565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3749226828877952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32345749684034186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040324922356628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3164528345198301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876134601325468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239527409371919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20028938066335966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14247508739252693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768311153217564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855690720462809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14194188462449653,0.10425579329478714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11513700362568305
addiction,diabetitron,2020/02/10,"It's really hard for me to check into rehab I've been addicted to nitrous oxide for probably 4-5 years. It's to a point where I've lost friends, I spend ally money, I do several boxes in one sitting. I scrape change together to get a box. I feel I have to validate, or do it because I want to escape. 
I have type 1 diabetes, chronic depression, anxiety, ADHD, bipolar...it's been pretty hard. I know you guys can relate. 
The Regan center is up the street from my house, and my therapist wants me to go...but I just...can't. My brain screams at me to go, or quit. Yet once I get money, it's a Pavlovian response to get more nitrous. 
I feel if I don't quit, I'll get serious health issues, and ruin my life. I want to break free, and get away. 
I want to stop, but I need help.",0.9940081799590992,2.68719101840491,3.7056687116564433,87.84950511247446,80.53374233128835,7.046053169734153,23.136605316973416,8.021203637495839,1.2512318200409005,588,20,129,11,15,208,99,163,0.091,0.7859999999999999,0.12300000000000001,0.5648,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,1,0,3,2,7,0,0,5,0,9,8,1,0,0,17,24,7,0,6,4,0,4,0,1,0,7,1,0,1,4,4,0,1,3,0,5,1,1,5,0,1,3,5,23,3,19,21,1,15,0,3,0,0,4,9,0,3,3,71,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15906186220695034,0.17535372916126793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11161964544806037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13708589073605015,0.0,0.0,0.08894450104686276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16288220258996422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543519047411431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256708248924442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475514992594403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127285878959254,0.0,0.3811559899974112,0.0,0.16584638890100842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14447240947400325,0.0,0.0,0.26141081240570424,0.0,0.0,0.15509397131009334,0.0,0.0,0.09779942900849373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16835888277793698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15229062351794845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08018752616372879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10305952764886477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15927642408684356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10818934496680284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15538784947227227,0.09887141322574343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13793074658728702,0.0,0.0,0.14844145582967155,0.15731410078399838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3103834176369521,0.0,0.0,0.0934727567380184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16483513628888138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12198608559745112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16941107862370292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3442425851446099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09396032582411076
addiction,Lutek3,2020/02/10,"I'm addicted to yiff (furry porn) :// I don't belong to the furry community But I can't stop enjoying furry porn. I know it might not be scary, but I think I have too much of it.  On my portable disk, these things take 100+ GB.  If one picture is about 2 MB it means that I have ~~ 50,000 pictures :/// I collect these pictures for many years. I'm an adult and I'm a bit ashamed to admit it but it's true. Maybe I should see a doctor or something? 

Do you know similar cases? Am I mentally ill? Do you guys are enjoying this crap too? Please help :)",-0.36685714285714255,1.7647298608695683,2.184006211180126,94.03489130434784,89.52173913043478,5.720496894409938,19.518633540372672,7.1686216300943375,0.41268944099378935,414,13,96,7,14,142,80,115,0.139,0.696,0.165,0.2996,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,2,0,0,3,5,1,1,4,0,12,6,1,0,1,16,22,6,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,10,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,1,12,3,7,19,2,3,0,0,1,2,6,1,1,3,2,56,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26139110097584634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617731590775332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454207729095813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374158182802469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16071671781434896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635491054567909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24309510756731045,0.2408870990925471,0.2611862255549456,0.0,0.0,0.2416376907136029,0.25436431675128696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1762628604471794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16247834144233753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632019124180079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19107033212618074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18459118647936212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200463371770196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18028162095710085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592964400566005,0.15363870190010254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15440780507937726
addiction,Amy_Yacht,2020/02/10,How do I fix this now that I’ve started? Help please... I’m in high school and I was going through some stress and went to a dumb dark place...but basically I started stealing cigarettes from my parents and I’ve only done it a couple times but I already feel the need to do it again and again. I’ve always hated that my parents smoke and that they don’t quit but now I’m doing the same damn thing and I’m getting worried that I’m just gonna end up like them. Right now I feel bad about it but when I’m stressed I don’t feel any of this and I just go get a cigarette and walk to woods to smoke. I feel like I’m already getting trapped by the nicotine. I don’t know what to do to stop myself... any tips would help. Thanks for taking the time to read this.,0.30932209469153804,2.2494916036585413,1.8430846484935444,99.03104017216646,84.1829268292683,4.590530846484937,20.012912482066,5.5289334501034215,-0.39493859397417497,589,17,142,3,17,190,89,164,0.196,0.713,0.091,-0.9587,2,1,4,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,2,1,10,10,3,2,7,0,10,0,0,1,0,24,34,13,0,2,5,2,4,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,12,8,0,1,5,1,0,4,3,7,0,0,3,4,14,3,15,29,2,20,0,0,0,0,6,4,2,1,14,80,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3106855024738042,0.0,0.11713158189048448,0.0,0.0,0.1914563069137865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11753673391546887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15575888209090938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440561723452186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12468008070496064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2847093524827119,0.10056582854086862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206389138403694,0.0,0.1600052125277918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13898083385587012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18870978774148728,0.14873080848646786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736328931203684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13754582952793726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10437887281940457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10706162217693008,0.0,0.0,0.3126159580050393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14707426804712695,0.1545227456764343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14972579455361573,0.1408076916959586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12021646706489945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14246634794314506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19927489121557296,0.0,0.0,0.11768968670824576,0.3225021965218503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10584121828509724,0.0,0.0,0.1296017323342714,0.0,0.0,0.09352106551161717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641677686170635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304948271405491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142958359322937,0.0,0.09999868314693716,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,kidruzen,2020/02/10,Need help on masturbation addiction I’ve been masturbating for about 10 years now and I think I have a addiction. I noticed that I don’t get as hard as I used to and when I’m with someone hours I don’t feel nothing. This is ruining my sex life and was wondering what tips and tricks are there so I can stop. I work out every day I meditate I try to eat well but the urges Are always there.I’m 25 and I want to be cure please. Thank you,0.40638297872340345,2.4442624042553227,2.5121702127659558,93.794,84.53191489361703,6.7387234042553175,20.038297872340426,7.908726449838941,0.6648714893617029,342,10,82,7,10,115,70,94,0.05,0.804,0.147,0.8037,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,1,6,4,1,0,2,0,10,5,0,1,0,15,19,10,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,7,1,1,3,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,2,2,13,2,10,16,0,8,0,1,0,1,2,2,0,1,6,49,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4648548716248283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17740555956468348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750107517065568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21816430288852195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17963635216845136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780402086116933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11139201838889244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19099186938364324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14290836403504126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20996625059728302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150594626613252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580905170099279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045781618291623,0.24273793277663205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23403759873942326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806498598050648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17825085590485634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962926434888486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13661463374565486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14475376653267175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18414265861949128,0.0,0.0,0.12575519400511292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916989746576556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23121423022546606,0.15521745918473595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13729851578741764
addiction,CocaethyleneBegone,2020/02/11,"Dear son As I write this, you are 17 months old. When you came into my life, I was struggling with some very complicated problems. Unfortunately, despite all my efforts so far, I still am.

Since your arrival, you have brought joy into my life. I am ever so proud of you. You're changing so quickly that every time I see you you know a new word or can answer a new question or can achieve a new physical goal. You make me smile and laugh and I enjoy our every moment together. I love you in a way I've never loved anyone or anything before.

I will probably make it through the night, but I will spend it worrying I won't. As I did last night, and the night before, and the night before that, and so many nights before those. And I worry with good reason. But when -- if -- I wake up tomorrow, I will have more reason to be hopeful than I have for 6 years. Tomorrow I take serious steps towards a change.

Son, I write you this letter as a solemn promise. I promise to grasp tomorrow's opportunities and do everything in my power to break this cycle. The thought of not being around to see you grow up and share in your wonderful life breaks my heart. I recognise how deeply trapped I am though, which is why I left this letter with your aunt in the event I do not make it. I hope you never have cause to read this, but if you do: I love you and I'm so very sorry.

All my love,
Dad",2.906823069403714,4.3318160931899685,4.0741886608015685,88.44037390029328,74.44802867383513,6.936526555881394,24.151352231997393,7.520522993642371,0.9623534050179212,1066,32,228,13,22,348,149,279,0.094,0.73,0.17600000000000002,0.9806,1,1,0,0,0,0,37.0,1,16,0,6,13,20,0,1,11,0,22,9,2,7,5,51,40,29,0,5,10,4,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,12,16,0,0,8,1,1,4,5,4,0,0,5,2,48,16,26,29,4,44,0,1,2,4,31,12,0,10,25,156,60,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06456200729222816,0.0,0.0759829294491752,0.08219674379435361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3142773807831269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056053795479688,0.0,0.09485234623229608,0.19535403888640446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835212955858756,0.1555905802335607,0.0,0.08298375243656128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774452916194386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094161119049161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18341678619323687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0507442947680648,0.07526444927614583,0.0,0.0,0.10032104869611576,0.0,0.1956544851749171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333397861342973,0.0,0.18490077866426574,0.09361207865751964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07370003525744448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14242718634654175,0.2675299577819623,0.0,0.4332455349066916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968888921276348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995515572466572,0.08835106897089309,0.0,0.0,0.103435095667939,0.0,0.0923588833485497,0.0,0.0,0.18986924755032247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14715632197708342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07637955332442009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10336023762733433,0.0,0.0,0.07373796900535125,0.0,0.0,0.09652743644422086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06942359906140164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071758449155867,0.07330280001264289,0.05384063756983756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15237026917581198,0.0,0.07329034924055185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08331697995868598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013217203748813,0.0,0.18753910774870194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05946000205052807
addiction,mjhei1,2020/02/11,"Trying to get through the day (day 4 of no cannabis) I'm sure my problem is insignificant compared to others on this sub, but I need to cope somehow.

I've been taking cannabis every day for three years now. I got a medical certificate for a seizure disease. It's currently undiagnosed, and I've had a lot of tests to rule out what it isn't, such as epilepsy, a brain tumor, etc. Cannabis helps me with anxiety, but it can't be recommended for that reason in the states I've lived in. I was prescribed opioids (Xanax) for anxiety but I don't want to get physically addicted -- I was prescribed benzos for a while and getting off them was terrible. So I opted for cannabis as the lesser of two evils-- not that I really think cannabis is evil AT ALL. In fact, it's just prejudice that has kept it federally illegal all this time. 

So now I've moved to a new city with my husband for his job and I'm looking at getting a new job. My last job was at a university, where they did not care/ trusted me to manage myself like an adult. Now I'm applying for a job at a federal lab where drug testing is mandatory and required to get a clearance which is necessary to even work there. It's kind of a dream job -- at least, the salary is a dream salary lol. So now I'm 'studying' for the test and haven't taken any cannabis for four days. 

I quit nicotine about 10 years ago before getting pregnant with my first. So, I know I can quit this thing if I want to. And I quit those benzos too.

If I were working today, it wouldn't be so hard. I'd be away from home at the co work space, applying for jobs and working on my side projects. But it's a snow day and I'm home with the kids who are off school. I'm bored off my ass and want that distraction. I'm anxious and searching for relief.  If I were alone I'd go to sleep or something to blot out the day and let time pass while my body gets used to operating without it. I can't, though, due to kids at home. (Actually, having the kids around makes it a little easier/distracty-er. If I were alone I'd probably break and smoke.)

I don't have a plan to get through the day, except minute by minute. I feel blank and sad, and I know the way to feeling better is right there in the cupboard. 

Ugh. Help me hold out. I remember from quitting nicotine that the hardest days are the third day, the third week and then by the time you get to the third month you're free. 

I'm off to get a stupid soothing cup of tea. Any words of comfort or distraction for an aspiring quitter?",2.7344599981019257,4.180267056420238,3.923003701243239,89.26561877194649,74.9338521400778,7.3492644965360165,26.73891999620385,8.015777009494485,1.4632960614975803,1953,73,429,30,41,637,245,514,0.147,0.774,0.079,-0.9876,9,2,4,0,0,0,65.0,0,1,2,12,21,20,4,2,36,1,33,9,4,3,4,63,69,36,0,10,15,1,3,1,0,1,4,0,3,4,24,23,1,3,7,2,1,3,11,11,0,7,13,4,35,10,74,51,5,65,0,1,1,1,12,28,1,8,32,264,59,18,0.0,0.0,0.06899954818500145,0.07708074925127073,0.0,0.0,0.06267723111760255,0.0,0.0,0.14646165249670295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616597318715203,0.0,0.10818087733819748,0.0798784550350066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294396148972692,0.0,0.0,0.06643128040312139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06016620136010874,0.0,0.0,0.06253433797902451,0.0,0.07853921374656413,0.0,0.07893207108940224,0.0,0.0,0.07209020193656142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4103997995747376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819973342679741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07885667074244995,0.04670111428553458,0.0,0.05957345168616195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07150287289651136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060143090351241026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3694133701563884,0.0,0.04018425202540087,0.0,0.056550614176634977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06333932283654163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09478643289757432,0.0,0.2127737818786328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4209929893246148,0.0,0.0,0.07363015653268856,0.07771711598930355,0.057635404738607926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07230240023381403,0.0,0.03454372636662335,0.07086669749702362,0.062435319242579376,0.0,0.05937582741926905,0.0,0.0,0.06011231529244265,0.0,0.0,0.04719727714430277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07122957035328417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564374203513737,0.07515004155306572,0.0,0.05242812862454318,0.0,0.1365779598447862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07623379097903367,0.06765677113431005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30082115291091993,0.0,0.0,0.04529652818080356,0.07269827279162787,0.0,0.0,0.0800969175766624,0.06038314294667298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155896411676481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07075777230007156,0.0,0.0,0.05443347882116705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06664023622735395,0.0,0.05316264542950526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046974395481648425,0.04530600396203559,0.06946898235973635,0.0,0.1236889514598144,0.0,0.06702169238661287,0.0,0.0,0.048005213938198565,0.0,0.06907018037250663,0.0,0.0,0.061067894355496075,0.0,0.0,0.1251139463239987,0.05612369428778795,0.05671665680484057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06815874407044763,0.0,0.20590130436226167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09106560446265803
addiction,AoiSAC,2020/02/11,Recovery tattoo ideas? What would be the best tattoo for recovery?,4.441818181818181,7.6844136363636375,4.791363636363638,70.50704545454549,94.45454545454544,9.472727272727274,23.681818181818183,8.841846274778883,3.8400545454545454,54,2,7,2,2,17,9,11,0.0,0.687,0.313,0.6767,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6183537090168946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6651616087832621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4185674673764222,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,iZaya-02,2020/02/11,"Having cravings for Ecstasy again Hi guys

I'm a 17 year old highschool student soon to graduate and move on to college. I'm also making music in my own home studio I've recently built for myself, working out, and working at a local bar doing dishes. I just barely pulled through highschool, as I failed my first 3 years getting F's in litterally every single class, got expelled, and fell into a dark path when I got addicted to chasing highs. Luckily, an alternative school helped me turn that all around and I'm now eligible to attend a community college and transfer to a bigger university. 

I recently just got sober, as the only thing I now consume is caffeine, which I eventually plan to quit too. Before that, it was cocaine, ecstasy, acid, marijuana, spice, alcohol, nicotine, porn. I had a pretty bad addiction to all these things. But I managed to finally get sober after 4 years of highschool and hell.

The last thing I've done was ecstasy 3 weeks ago. For some reason, ecstasy is my favorite drug out of them all. It wakes me up, makes me feel (of course) in ecstasy, went great with weed, and for some reason I would love watching porn hours and hours on end while doing lines.

Last time I did ectsasy I nearly overdosed. I managed to snort 6 very strong pills that were also laced with cocaine and other filler drugs. It was honestly the highest I'd ever been in my life. 3 days after I became a huge fiend, searching my carpet for pill residue I accidentally spilled and getting high as fuck (even though my tolerance skyrocketed very quickly). I finally kicked it on the 4th day after doing it, but life felt like hell afterwards.

Then I finally decided to quit weed, porn, and nicotine cold turkey as-well as any other drugs I tried occasionally. It's now 3 weeks since I've done ecstasy, and 1 week since being 100% sober. Life is boring as hell, but I already see myself becoming so much more productive and successful.

But I still feel empty, lethargic, and bored with life. The longest I've been sober is 1 month in the past 4 years. But luckily, I've cut out all my toxic friends.

But today, my brain is having flashbacks to doing the ecstasy. I had a dream last night about doing a shit ton again and having a huge porn binge. And I even overdosed in the dream. It was scary and blissful at the same time, and I accepted that I was about to die in my dream. Then I woke up.

But even after the overdose in my dream, I've been craving X super hard today. I keep on getting flashbacks to snorting all those pills and feeling invincible while watching hours of porn. And it makes me want to do it again. I have no cravings for any other drug besides this one. 

Shit is really f\*cking with my head. I work out and make music to help get through the cravings, but even after all this I'm still craving it pretty hard. I'm half tempted to hit up my dealer and buy a shit ton of X pills. Can someone help talk me through this or give me advice, please? I want to be sober and stay sober and be like that for the rest of my life. I'm tired of chasing highs. But my brain can't help but want one last time.",4.674135390283215,5.8908488250825135,5.425420983958862,81.2662249597053,69.82508250825083,8.145460127408091,29.439557909279298,8.499448955792047,2.1706109141146666,2452,93,466,38,43,797,277,606,0.109,0.715,0.175,0.9901,0,0,9,0,0,0,80.0,0,0,1,11,26,22,8,0,24,0,36,33,7,6,7,74,70,49,1,4,13,0,6,2,1,1,17,0,3,1,27,34,3,1,8,5,1,5,2,12,0,4,20,14,51,10,74,45,16,92,3,1,3,7,11,31,7,3,57,295,78,18,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14095309587655694,0.0,0.06317389189330562,0.05730710879701854,0.06908972333300346,0.0,0.0,0.07134136952167648,0.10339897026265524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879265690225993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05755098597828904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053978904711470654,0.0,0.07139933137571723,0.055011221551533054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14433850075498988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338603471623349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06709507004008032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13231598566817684,0.0,0.0,0.2998875395209085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0572594964279997,0.0,0.0,0.17079923854846238,0.0584783859951573,0.05446925807534615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806486765563983,0.0,0.06207282195109544,0.2124582387026998,0.0,0.054990090670733516,0.0,0.0,0.049947370278646666,0.059766615634101725,0.1688812014916845,0.062016855636078026,0.0,0.0,0.155116242758616,0.07127534153254485,0.0,0.0640123066005968,0.0,0.0,0.11582494632261328,0.0,0.06634814432598217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17333045272375025,0.20491447749581645,0.06484784585965027,0.0,0.19099763081647764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057462671743489416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21078904418852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22831619220550586,0.06316810905166365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058347911584602924,0.0,0.17261384703843333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05160191876106848,0.06871126133988564,0.04752418076846317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06066835875385159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06783786090407766,0.0,0.08761516805157796,0.04916819541625365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06171443137844264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709647808541438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13154179427619656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13752354906971234,0.0,0.0,0.041415567061568966,0.13293911533546085,0.12766544343367314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06542786381783366,0.05151658710415656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19908266545431536,0.10695602768399784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054776573428578564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890683657617827,0.10325695701308296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051962119019966266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12884902912303242,0.0,0.06351694960228567,0.0,0.11309140611200405,0.07430408866111371,0.12255868196070517,0.0,0.0,0.04389217533905835,0.07031914386346665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10668377870033902,0.11439430884495627,0.0,0.1555716915455128,0.0,0.0,0.05992992662724045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411949152842638,0.0,0.0,0.04592453107249959,0.0,0.0,0.16652638955335586
addiction,ryannnnnn__,2020/02/11,Please fill out this survey for my research paper on addiction it should take less than 5 minutes Please fill out this survey for my research paper on addiction it should take less than 5 minutes [https://forms.gle/k5iKoFtSXaGLVspS6](https://forms.gle/k5iKoFtSXaGLVspS6),17.35297297297297,19.468138486486488,11.079054054054058,48.58182432432434,42.51351351351352,10.643243243243244,37.41891891891892,10.125756701596842,3.9430648648648656,232,7,26,3,2,61,19,37,0.0,0.878,0.122,0.5574,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,8,2,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,18,6,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6337764040331015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6381669496940313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4371160189344318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,readerready24,2020/02/11,I cant stop drinking but i need to I was binge drinking the last two days i had been sober for 3 months when i drink i lose control i know i shouldnt be drinking but i always start out with just one i was gonna start drinking today i took two drinks and threw it away im tired of feeling like shit  i cant sleep or focus,-0.6083219178082189,1.2543221917808258,1.2235445205479465,102.54298801369863,87.35616438356165,3.65,17.344178082191778,3.1291,-1.1501219178082187,252,6,64,0,8,82,51,73,0.182,0.723,0.095,-0.8341,0,0,6,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,2,2,3,1,0,1,0,8,9,2,1,0,13,16,5,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,3,6,2,2,6,0,2,3,2,0,3,6,1,12,1,6,7,0,12,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,9,37,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113295920393682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12570642588369693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15006440217655326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628781781859661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7864191114902458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06765164345541029,0.09558440587803152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14452342082520858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07353118005343325,0.10906218712156968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653663206836009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14968430952554318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067952680637126,0.0,0.0,0.09920857501419462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906641224121968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13734041378368692,0.0,0.0,0.1338933497195775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894040188363707,0.0,0.0,0.11186005172132367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537796511702658,0.1268236492729383,0.0,0.1486530826352238,0.0,0.0,0.2613999145306889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,cutebugsmallhands,2020/02/11,"I fucked up I stopped taking xanax two years ago and I was completely clean

My boyfriend, who always attempts to make things better and usually makes them worse, said he wanted me to feel comfortable with leaning on him for support...so I did. I called him last night because I got free xanax from a friend who sells drugs but isn’t aware of my addiction. I tried to talk to my boyfriend to distract myself, but all he did was make me feel like a burden. He puts me in these traps where he says wants to be the person I go to when I’m weak or not okay, but then he makes me feel like I’m asking for too much. He makes me feel like his life is harder with me. He hated the fact that I’d usually call on help from my close friend, who is a guy, because my friend has romantic feelings for me and thinks my boyfriend sucks. I get that, but now I have nobody. My boyfriend make a mediocre attempt to be the person I call on when I can’t help myself, but instead he tells me how he feels like he’s always there for me enough and he doesn’t understand why he can’t just be on the phone with his friend instead of helping me. We argued for about an hour, and at one point in the argument he said “What is your problem” and he consistently said I was mad at him/arguing with him for no reason/nothing. 

So I relapsed, and I hate how good it made me feel, and I hate that I want more.",4.118563685636854,4.285430777003484,4.56631242740999,90.72316589237323,70.49825783972125,7.771506000774294,26.397406116918308,7.3871296695380915,1.0180191250483936,1071,30,246,10,18,339,146,287,0.168,0.6659999999999999,0.166,-0.585,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,1,1,1,4,13,24,7,1,10,1,17,7,0,9,2,47,51,20,0,4,8,0,7,4,4,0,6,4,1,3,10,14,0,1,9,0,2,2,6,11,0,2,10,11,45,14,32,38,4,26,0,0,0,1,47,12,2,1,16,149,55,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09689880524114587,0.0,0.0,0.07879203134521601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14792046132478662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309636425617513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10836809986541512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786123992770295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722874780918088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319522714333753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307948224043208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09184294676088653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31460384827584353,0.2540005609278492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746922570144376,0.08217362821634124,0.046439240090377164,0.0,0.05051593359682149,0.07455331745011966,0.07109021386787569,0.0,0.0,0.08801106484046184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632694196662334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17873513536248312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753475575172645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245391246205245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06278277494889953,0.17370074089920393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08410603478647895,0.3559923698465698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06534140038415748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08341344250200558,0.0,0.08528846601256887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0602314199088984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552235655890078,0.0,0.0,0.08402595295243159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08505184956126009,0.0,0.08935492992102684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913895602342956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536526785511978,0.07068567482894074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07431263400561812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086672238297854,0.0,0.0,0.06683117218781834,0.0714431594357109,0.07769023785199884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059051875381475674,0.05695452751582453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060347725225054924,0.0,0.08682865723150712,0.09253340837786668,0.0,0.0,0.1957906317829202,0.0,0.15728170828075422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020574428679775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058237649202924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057239637371900964
addiction,stimcity12,2020/02/11,"Podcasts or audiobooks for stimulant/meth recovery Title pretty much sums it up! Hope you guys can help I would love something to listen in the way to work to help me relate to my addiction and give me inspiration or even come to terms with the way I have been feeling. 

Much love 💔 
Luke",7.163869047619045,6.658553839285716,7.282857142857143,76.09547619047622,64.17857142857143,11.038095238095238,32.95238095238096,10.504223727775694,3.257316666666668,229,8,44,5,3,74,44,56,0.0,0.637,0.363,0.9753,0,0,2,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,0,4,3,0,0,0,9,11,3,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,6,4,9,9,3,6,0,0,0,2,8,2,0,3,1,28,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.257602368032322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20355191284087804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560742175777888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948060675442775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266809220531551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23397459503785625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31677441915043913,0.0,0.0,0.2346996632599081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4265407609662617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3474160373312771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404025075862455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18191562978792286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.375128594148115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17202954077339894,0.0,0.0,0.1678610587653993,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,modernsoldier3,2020/02/11,"""Cannabis Got Me Off Opioids,"" says Sol, a 38-year-old father of two. This is a pretty inspiring [vid](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGi88M0cVXw). crazy how much better cannabis can be compared to conventional pain killers that are freaking addictive. How is it that opioids are legal in some places and cannabis isnt?",8.801153846153845,11.548654500000005,5.364615384615386,79.75538461538463,61.69230769230769,8.276923076923078,41.846153846153854,8.841846274778883,4.013023076923076,262,15,40,4,4,70,43,52,0.217,0.611,0.172,-0.5803,0,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,2,0,7,2,0,2,0,5,8,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,1,1,2,4,6,2,3,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,24,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35346800617520674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28676275175890176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593232815607201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383527274356609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3402339379328723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3450128019409013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3387603960646343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32986728998301845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578476017816298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31673406368749496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20879907080058052
addiction,StrangeAccount8,2020/02/11,"Just a thought, please weigh in I’m unsure of what defines an addict. Whether it’s the dependence of being on that substance, going to extremes to ensure you can get your next fix or putting yourself into compromising situations to enable yourself to use. I do not know. There’s a lot of factors to weigh in. 

I do not know if I’m an addict, maybe just by debating it I’m admitting I am no matter the functionality. However, what I do know is that I’m ready to fulfil the absence inside of me with something meaningful instead of with a substance. Something I can harness or invest myself into, build my foundations upon and become the person that I want to be. The difference I want to see in the world. 

At some point in your life you need to decide what you stand for and what you hold dearly to you. I know I cannot help anyone else if I cannot help myself. From what I can see the world needs more people who can love unconditionally, the world needs people who can forgive mistakes and the world needs people who can be selfless. 

The day a man plants a seed knowing he will not bask in its shade is the day we’re making the right decision not only for ourselves but for the people we hold close to our hearts. 

So many people are brought up believing they have to change the world, they have to be the next big doctor or surgical consultant, or a MP
Or senator. No you do not have to change the world. All you have to do is change the world of others around you, if you make 1 person smile just once and impact their day positively then that person may come into contact with 10 more people and impact their lives positively. Then those ten people may spread that smile and before you know it just your decision to make someone smile has improved 100 other people’s lives. In just one day. 

What will you do today to make someone smile? Don’t answer just ask yourself. 

Sorry for the rambling I just needed to get something out and I thought maybe this could be a constructive way of doing so. 

Idle hands are the devils play things but all I know is when good men go to war, demons run.

Thank you for listening.",4.758112172829248,5.891916498795183,5.231516410469464,83.04349397590363,69.55421686746989,7.748234316576651,26.358537598670544,7.990435384864732,1.5065330286663898,1677,50,324,21,29,536,194,415,0.053,0.8240000000000001,0.12300000000000001,0.9799,1,0,3,0,0,0,32.0,2,15,4,1,13,9,1,0,28,0,38,9,2,6,2,81,76,23,1,12,23,0,1,0,0,4,4,1,0,5,23,18,2,2,16,1,1,6,10,3,0,2,3,4,39,6,51,63,6,44,2,0,2,1,39,26,0,13,10,226,62,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17615574129191253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05649335443655496,0.08278345664297745,0.0,0.07192418537556995,0.07553189953055098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892311166918344,0.06875012181549146,0.0910276720666448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25640942922055104,0.06959726024989915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645077899466205,0.0,0.0,0.20842293200421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08441299869658937,0.0,0.08269653790607866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749339139490411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442352558212772,0.0,0.09183468988761588,0.06776654711332022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09574180621330024,0.10830962668161312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108175977076965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057067505806513937,0.0,0.0,0.1426859501342025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868854781493211,0.07292014094548288,0.0,0.21572367739218445,0.08191288593622355,0.1623377588215104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2995402857430024,0.0,0.0,0.17185161748239003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08604344697011905,0.05474840683903043,0.06144781608146501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4481015609792239,0.2116397786917294,0.0,0.08868803838070886,0.07637686550034864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08122073269713331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06899801448888576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12876542418209352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09081634121902528,0.0,0.0,0.13691374194707515,0.18659853282398312,0.0,0.09044276632381673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438466978535667,0.0,0.0,0.05367623912706601,0.0,0.0,0.1282835288426554,0.0,0.0,0.07658368671609457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06978045947802762,0.0,0.0,0.09530931382454184,0.06413086968756324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Whychilly,2020/02/11,"I’m addicted to any positive feeling. I didn’t realize until recently I’m addicted to any positive feeling I can get my hands on. 

I didn’t know I was addicted to masturbating until recently. I used to masturbate 3x everyday. The feeling is so good I can’t not do it. ( I tried no fap made it 20 days then relapsed today 2x).

I drink a lot of soda just because it taste so good. I’ve been trying to stop but it’s hard. 

I’m not sure if this is an addiction but I can’t drive without speeding. I just enjoy maneuvering through light - medium traffic. And driving fast because of the risk I think. Driving on an empty road isn’t fun to me.

I use Social media 10+ hours a day. An without my phone I literally feel so empty and alone. I talk to my friends sometime but a lot of what I do is mindless checking Instagram every few minutes. Or just opening Snapchat then closing it. 

I’ve drank and smoke a few times but thankfully they’re illegal( I’m 18 ) so I can’t easily  get access to them. (I can but I choose not to).

I even always feel the need to buy candy. Sugar. But I’ve saving my money rn so I’m not. 

Basically I just am addicted to any positive feeling and desire to feel something.  I do play basketball and in-line skate. Ik people are going to say to weight lift I’ve tried it but usually quit after a month of good work.",0.2595532467532422,2.6059257709090917,3.2219220779220805,85.95745454545454,89.47272727272724,6.488311688311689,24.22077922077921,7.760100539840176,1.6823506493506497,1037,45,210,23,35,367,147,275,0.08900000000000001,0.7440000000000001,0.16699999999999998,0.9701,0,1,3,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,1,2,10,11,0,1,11,0,18,12,1,3,1,47,41,23,0,3,19,0,10,0,1,0,5,1,0,0,8,7,6,1,11,2,3,4,13,1,0,0,6,14,27,10,26,35,4,27,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,4,18,125,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5552419954411149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10550190673779918,0.0,0.0,0.08476023198443879,0.0,0.0,0.20781603979449167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12419249104608167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313896031011944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09978938080143493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06728118275211574,0.0,0.08582605257691912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3605436992858993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787010100575293,0.0,0.10644100830915512,0.0,0.057892494550510376,0.2563197718160213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125145342582554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10031696950872424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05598259874350933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17320476107339372,0.0,0.09638757148195393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08130804694514332,0.0,0.0,0.07553195587095278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062069139889156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083464670722582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20115972656057687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810075109666207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038390192668605,0.0,0.07842101612412179,0.10074755532180872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516409482878512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09600700070759438,0.0,0.0,0.08187560683948994,0.0,0.0937840394617806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06527128054591136,0.0,0.0,0.059398575208179566,0.0,0.09655655550849493,0.0,0.0,0.20747990415921053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17595812105458405,0.11219042464897536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12404470072573365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963893575609565,0.0,0.07415927595964937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,2dum4lyf,2020/02/11,"Wrecked my car on GHB I’m basically a huge piece of shit and got really cocky eating GHB everyday. I had been really taking care of myself the last 7 or so months, going to the gym, drinking less and less, not using any hard drugs for almost a year now, to consuming almost zero alcohol. 
I had been taking phenibut to help with working a job I hated and to come off kinder and more social. I messed around with that off and on over this last summer and fall, telling myself it wasnt a big deal because it’s legal and would help me with sleep and gym performance. Long story short it lost its magic for me and I tracked down some GHB. 
I got GHB the 4th of jan and have eaten it almost every single day since. It was amazing and made me incredibly sociable and aroused and motivated. Unfortunately I obviously have a drug problem and cannot seem to control my life under any substance use. I wrecked my car heading home the other day because I had eaten too much GHB. I could’ve hurt or killed someone or myself but was EXTREMELY lucky. I may have some negative repercussions involving this at my job but I’m not certain. 
Either way, I’m about 20 hours into sobriety and because of my injuries I’m gonna be laid up and off work to hit these withdrawals up. I have a small amount of gabapentin and phenibut in case I start freaking out.",4.428732057416268,5.678301075757577,5.249401913875598,82.17502392344498,70.43939393939394,8.133652312599683,28.28867623604465,8.532816995589336,2.0095257575757577,1060,38,206,17,19,345,156,264,0.11,0.8,0.09,-0.7531,2,0,4,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,6,5,12,3,0,10,0,16,12,4,5,2,49,38,23,1,2,8,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,1,0,11,24,5,1,2,3,0,5,5,8,0,1,14,1,24,4,32,19,10,37,0,2,0,1,6,19,1,11,12,131,35,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12619875086472213,0.3547402640420147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606059865805288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10512218302694837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159536363635189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039724261177502,0.0,0.0,0.10172122064310668,0.0,0.0,0.13244425525016568,0.09428260697042122,0.0,0.0,0.15231228195878715,0.12174218422393845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156799925288972,0.27388612272351703,0.12083215630735035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994931228267525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671113828274798,0.0,0.18888941442723775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057824727017318,0.1165861511538394,0.1211910039901915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15830202789439324,0.0,0.11845057048949895,0.0,0.11629159525884104,0.0,0.12641423566821652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343656221048159,0.0,0.13064541790457682,0.0,0.0,0.1925128136954976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08340811590646756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10450299781406423,0.0,0.0,0.12890556307095075,0.0,0.0,0.11173647395505876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09425566315387092,0.0,0.0868072986765654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129930069519708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15129870485463193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107501680488606,0.0,0.0,0.12121428237143962,0.09768252382569204,0.0,0.11817196303288358,0.12037450154040548,0.10005446265890892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358236148056618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17757297795593374,0.0,0.10321296516177858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20397795803038374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09373171188204056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17193702215731774,0.0,0.0,0.08388539099315016,0.0,0.0,0.07604395174067359
addiction,Tatin109,2020/02/11,"Any other people who struggle with femdom/findom? I've found myself paying girls on Instagram and Twitter for findom style interactions, as well as, paying vanilla girls on Instagram just to be nice and have a chat. I feel like I must be craving just some real human interaction and that is what I'm lacking. Has anyone else been cured of this from just getting a girlfriend or dating? I would really like to talk with someone who has struggled with this type of stuff.",7.734137931034483,8.04571643678161,7.471862068965517,72.4843448275862,62.793103448275865,9.258850574712644,32.342528735632186,8.841846274778883,2.7916363218390807,378,13,61,5,5,120,63,87,0.053,0.83,0.11699999999999999,0.6767,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,2,2,0,9,0,0,0,1,17,13,6,0,3,4,0,1,2,1,2,0,0,0,3,8,6,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,4,4,13,7,2,3,0,0,0,0,10,2,0,2,3,46,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16771508410264052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17244760719717786,0.2526989086765112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.206025539884432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12470221996381757,0.1761906584689165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704142061133122,0.0,0.0,0.12885263340255165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409793726736125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709803806635573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2807159662541877,0.15799582288043768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089665893153927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.515656998343896,0.2823293593072769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19822975599889794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22174764460207508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751970235349211,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,a_parsimonious_sock,2020/02/11,"Nicotine withdrawls Been on and off nicotine since then ban. I'm under 21, quit cigarettes a month ago, but went two days w/o nic and found some juice two minutes ago and now I'm back on it. I can't think straight without it and get super anxious.

Tips for quitting/dealing with withdrawls?

Thanks :)",2.9863157894736863,5.635702280701758,2.6062280701754372,93.29776315789472,78.82456140350877,4.5017543859649125,28.798245614035093,5.46131890053228,0.974277192982456,238,11,45,1,6,70,45,57,0.10300000000000001,0.6970000000000001,0.2,0.8556,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,11,9,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,7,6,1,13,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,7,24,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4402290493244336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805230519483624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19093739775503574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16014136623121486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27226242796533456,0.0,0.0,0.12973331292071802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19820109683044845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26411147996106604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20540710993473565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286132822628975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15910896746118786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4851315110746203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301886727407693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.239364906284554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,RedditAcctName,2020/02/11,"I’m relapsing and need help. Alcohol addiction I am going through a lot of emotional stress (personal wont share), but am relapsing. I already did start drinking heavily. Please help me get back on the wagon. I can’t do it alone. Too impulsive right now. I no longer have the same energy I used to to put in like before. Just talk to me. I hate this but cant stop. Please. I am heavily drunk right now too. It’s been weeks i am constantly drunk.",0.1388717948717968,2.530238288888892,2.450000000000003,89.82807692307694,93.88888888888887,7.658119658119657,21.367521367521373,8.384062270229773,1.8323162393162389,346,13,74,11,13,117,63,90,0.182,0.612,0.20600000000000002,0.0982,0,1,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,6,4,1,1,3,0,11,5,0,1,0,9,18,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,1,4,1,0,3,0,2,4,2,0,0,2,0,10,2,7,15,2,13,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,8,46,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20504808478270664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20101318611698005,0.0,0.1948066257157209,0.20756424107216911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14463116694764078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16005247065417688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032606720930276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18425858979498289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21157822618689254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098270326611341,0.0,0.106897039744307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18570194665136147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25214825644305394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189226884191494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15990912442209262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13946786282732912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16423471248154115,0.0,0.4129371493595352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18908444949968767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32125914536752065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13313251255869907,0.0,0.0,0.1572533659222034,0.2154587939641938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511812552968155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16245112950949553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15087608729904636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,HairyDrumming,2020/02/12,"I feel like cocaine stole something from me. It's more than 3 years that I am using coke every week or two.   
I never used longer than two days in a row. Never went on a bender.  I don't have any physical withdrawals whatsoever. Usually, I just do 3-5 lines and stop at it. I don't even think about doing it most of the time.   
But every time we gather with friends, it only takes a couple of drinks and we start looking at each other and without saying anything we all already know what we are going to be doing. And in the next few minutes, someone calls a dealer. And it feels so special, being surrounded by all these beautiful, smart, successful people, talking for hours on end, joking, laughing. There's magic in it.   


Every Saturday or Sunday morning I hate myself for doing it again. I know I am causing damage to my mind and body. I tell myself that next time I won't be doing it. I'll take a break. A month maybe, or two. Then maybe I can indulge in some more. Just a little bit. What's a point in life if you don't allow yourself little pleasures?  Next time I go out, I'll just have a glass of wine, will enjoy being around people, talking to them, dancing to some music. 

But it just doesn't work for me anymore. Every time I am going out, I just feel empty. Music doesn't sound good, drinks don't taste good, I don't feel like talking to people. I am pretending to have fun. But secretly I hope that someone will offer me some coke. Then I will be able to tell myself ""it's ok, I'll just have a little. I am not an addict, I am just having fun. I had a long week, I did a lot, I deserve it. I did not ask for it, but since I am being offered, I won't refuse."" And almost every time it happens.   


Literally everyone in my social circle does it. Friends, colleagues.  It is everywhere. It feels like no escaping from it. And I am sick and tired. And angry. Because I was genuinely having a good time with my friends, but I cannot anymore. I am not fun anymore. And I don't feel good being around people anymore unless I am on coke. Then I am again, for a while.  And then the circle repeats itself. 

I want out.",1.2179103535353557,3.3303933541666697,3.2076094276094302,89.5528787878788,81.89351851851852,5.223569023569024,20.929292929292927,6.351523495107088,0.32173888888888946,1627,48,332,14,44,548,193,432,0.08199999999999999,0.797,0.121,0.8687,0,0,5,0,0,0,71.0,4,1,1,2,15,24,1,0,18,1,50,12,1,4,4,74,74,28,0,3,21,0,6,3,3,5,4,2,0,0,25,24,7,2,10,6,0,5,18,2,0,3,5,10,50,22,41,57,12,60,0,1,1,0,23,21,0,11,36,242,75,2,0.07237632651561418,0.0,0.0,0.07890087904905549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07247443626668311,0.0,0.07986907606135035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049218383920607185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28711147121761416,0.0,0.0,0.05955954985966809,0.12886055054239054,0.06766209520619265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044119936871143066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07901620325082964,0.08039378268398725,0.0,0.0,0.07390432153086231,0.0,0.0,0.07435042430823602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08008302866979551,0.0,0.0466767430584696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06333701106927142,0.0,0.0,0.1418024920600438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06410394286099289,0.0,0.0,0.04780388106617082,0.0,0.3049008832738561,0.06915868160500249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2195738721094992,0.15511698637268578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16775331098616886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12339940281576785,0.24282331523897616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06400214651126865,0.0,0.0,0.07145663831700881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188602296311407,0.07127610251713265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795522724970446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05112153984024307,0.10607825179819534,0.2176202793355626,0.0,0.06405077141614547,0.060777885829490785,0.0,0.0,0.06153176460164619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454234960488204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07307945760932727,0.0,0.05777009331433072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111642169735681,0.0,0.2309191330226338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055045457717305374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20070652710618134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684190226534008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057556559818251564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059870445210037336,0.0,0.0,0.0737785503169491,0.12264845317324588,0.055718832139107964,0.0,0.0,0.05122833642665989,0.0,0.0,0.060509849764424875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10883598038954108,0.1745200490601866,0.12652019898074082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04637582760322828,0.0,0.0,0.29542252618378195,0.08318594034195873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21210346294257448,0.0,0.0,0.12501981605333348,0.07971229840655808,0.0,0.042689432584868583,0.0,0.1161118469162193,0.0,0.0,0.06709357978736114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06976819600581738,0.0,0.0526908277012556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04660798132497952
addiction,SupperDup,2020/02/12,"Anxiety when I think of quitting social media and video games I'm not that prone to addiction normally, there's lots of substances (like alcohol) that I can use heavily for longer periods and not touch for months after, never feeling the need after maybe the first day. But with social media and games, it's so different. It's so easy to pick up when you're at home and have nothing to do for an hour, fast forward a month and I'm neglecting my friends hobbies and responsibilities to progress in a game, or I rather scroll through Facebook for an hour just to ""not do"" some important stuff.
I know it's dopamine related, all games nowadays are total dopamine IVs, once you start everything else feels bland and boring, and you don't progress fast enough to keep you interested. So even if I play a bit, slowly but surely I get into the game and other stuff fades to the background.
When I think of quitting cold turkey I feel immense anxiety that I will feel bored forever, but I feel guilty after spending yet another day on the bad habit. 

How do I take control of this? I don't want to quit, I want to control it, to be able to relax after a long day with an hour of gaming, and then pick up something else and actually feel good about.
Does anyone have experience with this? Do you think a dopamine detox would be something for me? Any other suggestions?

Thanks in advance!",6.887954545454543,6.88384673484849,6.694454545454548,78.41418181818183,64.60606060606061,9.918787878787882,33.88787878787879,9.558583805096642,2.9965078787878787,1094,43,208,19,15,345,148,264,0.086,0.807,0.107,0.8558,1,0,3,0,0,0,29.0,0,4,0,9,13,12,0,0,13,0,14,4,0,6,4,54,35,24,0,7,10,0,7,1,1,2,4,0,1,0,13,15,1,4,10,9,1,2,6,4,0,1,0,8,19,8,37,31,6,34,0,1,0,0,14,8,0,4,27,135,32,0,0.10533000987178098,0.0,0.1027868955982688,0.11482525805363045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11256574765145684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716280186327535,0.11044769924330593,0.16115433850199487,0.0,0.0,0.07364919194706315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08794615860548557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11499309054660325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23627312492746536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20378742789897733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004744196619212,0.0,0.0,0.09217500144520636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17597941519242105,0.0,0.0,0.10883405668397826,0.0,0.06956947812932933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466382115451333,0.10303296089887612,0.0,0.0,0.3195481068231509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959365258907644,0.0,0.0,0.0813777043445515,0.0,0.055030582822168564,0.0,0.0,0.08834581493197974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10565458798546086,0.0,0.311186527826831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362215239565554,0.0,0.0,0.057886618807799085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051458922399046786,0.0,0.0,0.09321374419441328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895478077561906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10581815223177038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16814681794549022,0.0,0.0,0.07810086768821665,0.08123699700225481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320104599571632,0.10106698523804937,0.0,0.0,0.11217302291380253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33609429247748485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21474136108672046,0.0,0.16217637511597732,0.0,0.0,0.07455312311783217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411553226382289,0.0,0.0,0.09927228777468924,0.0,0.07919505894211276,0.0,0.0,0.09697372155680976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20247365185933672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09097130990908316,0.0,0.0,0.12425273765766172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748234169472936,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,SnapAttack38,2020/02/12,What should I expect going to my first NA meeting tonight? I’m terrified.,1.9192857142857136,4.75181378571429,3.1542857142857166,84.91571428571432,89.7142857142857,5.6571428571428575,28.42857142857143,7.1686216300943375,2.121114285714286,59,3,10,1,2,19,13,14,0.267,0.733,0.0,-0.6124,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,6,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8314828711930298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5555503891750914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,zzzzzzzzzzzzccccccgg,2020/02/12,"Addicted best friend I have/had a best friend who since moving down the coast 2 hours away has developed an addiction to stims over the past 2-3 years. He no longer visits me, don’t hear from him and I make all the effort. He’s lost shit loads of weight and his attitude is now cynical. I feel I’ve been cut off as I’m not in to drugs although his “ new” mates are. I’m close with his family who can see the change also. 

Do I just move on with my life or continue to make an effort. It’s all one way traffic and it’s really pissing me off. I’ve had experience with my brother same thing, so I know where the priority is in their lives. 

Ty for any advice.",2.057850649350648,3.251939421428573,3.8707792207792235,89.97967532467536,76.21428571428572,7.948051948051948,21.298701298701296,8.575989854853784,0.9440000000000008,509,12,120,10,11,172,99,140,0.109,0.7709999999999999,0.12,0.5584,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,5,5,9,4,0,8,0,9,7,2,2,2,17,18,8,0,0,3,1,2,0,3,0,4,1,0,0,5,7,1,0,2,0,0,3,3,5,0,1,3,4,14,4,18,15,5,20,0,1,1,0,15,10,2,1,6,72,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3517514395546144,0.0,0.15765178677025193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12901716139036165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10971130870329962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15157674737359256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3386160118098538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170667889641749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18709392843586886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15781367676450914,0.15208947414521518,0.0,0.08157431887321676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24928944324667898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818329164224579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15887954588348666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886638612520356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395357978124665,0.0,0.0,0.14245913302579347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17611296222209818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21538075770965484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34294081927912984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15581547420559053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093227548402068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15400967210874944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10335342578524004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12856073548535374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16560500434190176,0.13345551750008292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10718182810479887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280578513481889,0.0,0.19645894226144475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389253404644028
addiction,Borbwire666,2020/02/12,"Alcoholism Hello Redditors
I am going through a bad alcohol addiction. It's been a long time and i feel that it's already spiraled out of control. I can't find the motivation to quit. Could any of you share your journey through alcoholism and could you tell me how you managed to quit?",2.8496969696969683,5.559960545454548,4.0759090909090885,82.16719696969697,79.9090909090909,8.03030303030303,32.803030303030305,8.841846274778883,3.3371212121212115,230,13,42,6,6,75,41,55,0.107,0.85,0.043,-0.5165,0,0,3,0,0,0,4.0,0,4,0,4,1,2,0,0,3,0,5,4,0,3,0,10,7,3,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,3,3,1,3,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,1,8,1,7,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,2,29,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159705098322852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6351620450593582,0.0,0.0,0.21862069579831744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347224466516502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654146224774559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22219861777457836,0.3163514326754495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10017100290237556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18107009761541087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259119146421365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17532222612241846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4214314105245685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17315796862645896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552026572513067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Hom-i-cide,2020/02/12,Withdrawal What’s great to take for cravings and withdrawal symptoms?,6.582727272727272,10.357073181818187,4.791363636363638,70.50704545454549,89.9090909090909,9.472727272727274,41.86363636363637,8.841846274778883,6.198236363636365,59,4,7,2,2,17,10,11,0.0,0.526,0.474,0.6486,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6517932399886723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6144767113189422,0.44450415470693466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,helpmeplzdammit,2020/02/12,"After years of being sober I relapsed with my sex addiction, and now I may have ruined my life. I don’t know where to begin.

For a few months I’ve been in trouble.
Been having flashbacks of sexual trauma. I was abused a lot as a kid, one of my coping mechanisms was to “like and invite” the abuse.

As an adult this led to a sex addiction. Always me allowing others to use me. 

I’m married now, and I have a wonderful home and a beautiful family. My partner is the most amazing person in my life I’ve ever known.

The past few weeks have been getting worse and worse and several days ago I collapsed and let myself be in a situation where someone used me.

Halfway through it I snapped out of it and stopped and ended it and left. This all happened within a minute.

It was without a condom, and now a million things are running through my mind.

I can’t get tested for another 6 days, and then the results will take a week or two. I also have to test again in 6 weeks to see if I got herpes. It doesn’t help that the clinic told me that local sti numbers are increasing every year.

They told me if I have something... I’m already contagious.

I feel sick to my core. I keep thinking about what I may have just done to the people I care for.

I can’t stand the idea that I betrayed my partner, that now there’s a chance I’ll have to come forward and break their heart, and I know in doing so I will lose my family.

All for something I didn’t even want. I just re-enact the  harm that was done to me as a child, and I thought I had it under control but it seems like I don’t.

I keep thinking “this is it. This is how everything ends.”

No one knows about my sex addiction, just my therapist.

I have always tried to be the best person I can be for my partner and for my little family, I never wanted to hurt them or myself.

Every single second I keep thinking about the what if’s, and what will happens. I keep thinking that I’m a horrible person for allowing this to happen.
Everything in my life was going better for me, really better... and now I may have just ruined all of that.

I’m scared because if this turns out bad, I know I won’t survive this. I won’t be able to live with myself.

I never wanted this, and now I have to prepare for the fact I may have just destroyed everything good in my life.

I survived years of trauma and abuse, and now that I’m free from it I’m traumatizing and abusing myself.

I keep thinking that even if I come out with no illness... that I don’t deserve my partner. That they deserve someone better than me.

I’m so scared.",2.4380797342192686,3.951294933333333,4.07334219269103,87.60484385382061,75.85714285714286,6.712292358803987,24.590254706533777,7.397020576406223,1.0843763012181622,1980,65,413,24,43,663,217,525,0.146,0.76,0.095,-0.9783,0,0,2,0,3,0,61.0,0,0,4,8,26,22,1,2,26,0,52,15,1,8,7,90,98,38,0,8,14,0,1,2,4,9,10,0,1,10,33,30,0,7,15,0,1,7,14,12,0,5,16,2,73,11,57,67,10,54,0,4,1,4,17,18,0,15,31,313,106,2,0.06908372951959191,0.3274116913026681,0.0,0.22593438695346305,0.0,0.0,0.06123855794539861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07623561340062879,0.055246233537553625,0.1149663942849728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244031392263238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057682028519549434,0.04211280030314832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07249911200340416,0.1832968341910433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07043546643444112,0.0,0.0,0.11901903177934064,0.0,0.0,0.07748327696497619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910658077157703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14139328131425016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12237535843416457,0.0,0.0,0.09125830360703993,0.06249018846862745,0.11641204335415695,0.0,0.1862640046428444,0.0,0.19537797568978266,0.0,0.034930809378924045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07218679469640328,0.0,0.039261875521155606,0.05794415466568696,0.05525256941561279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832715415849642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186455210590539,0.04630536767446286,0.0,0.06929661345115838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739555612744022,0.07798712172716127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30702396501323514,0.0,0.0,0.15186644419343567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505967425930113,0.07064279399965911,0.19518352483316415,0.06750164137861403,0.06924004592557237,0.06100219883839705,0.0,0.0,0.07728702239878057,0.0,0.058732516380010875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975487325723947,0.0,0.05514197380531344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10656326216468387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362584604689628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594823681338305,0.04789395959612836,0.1809637437985216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04425680612024495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138329730006335,0.0,0.05505078812650199,0.0628912327512115,0.0,0.07804495045532378,0.0,0.0,0.07765300647482222,0.0,0.0,0.11706883967354878,0.10636806021967014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05775709124301635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051942367022513855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021153460023375,0.0458961601902211,0.2213303219870844,0.0,0.05484476451108609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13202492814831762,0.0,0.04690331756869858,0.07514325982499677,0.06748476548213336,0.0,0.0,0.11933232277206485,0.0,0.0,0.1222421207051042,0.0,0.16624440226286927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06659424999824971,0.0749183577493958,0.0,0.0,0.14080444473718598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13346297043472238
addiction,FritterHowls,2020/02/12,"Only feel relaxed enough to sleep after taking sleeping pills A year ago I had a mental breakdown from my old job and couldn't sleep for days at a time, and my doctor prescribed me ambien which helped me recover from the stress after a few nights and I stopped taking it. Last week I had a few bad nights and got myself worked up and was terrified I'd have to go through the insomnia again so after one night with no sleep I started taking it again but this time I still couldn't sleep naturally without it. I've tapered down my dose down to about 2-3 mg when my prescription is for 10 mg and I still always fall asleep within 30 minutes after taking it but if I try sleeping without taking any I can't stop worrying about not being able to sleep, though I believe the amount I'm taking is such a low dose that it's mostly working as placebo right now. Anyone know how to tackle this kind of anxiety about not taking the pill?",7.622578728461082,6.074511887700535,7.531515151515155,78.0728282828283,63.81283422459893,10.022341057635176,32.54248366013072,8.515128840125781,2.417172786690434,741,22,145,8,9,238,116,187,0.084,0.8759999999999999,0.04,-0.7053,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,13,5,0,1,10,0,10,14,8,1,0,22,23,14,0,3,7,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,9,7,0,2,2,1,0,2,8,3,0,1,4,1,16,2,27,16,5,33,0,1,0,0,1,7,0,2,24,99,25,4,0.09141316376704348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08103225412479689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07606307521004832,0.0,0.0,0.06216408605254432,0.0,0.0699308200729561,0.0,0.0,0.06391820956784143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07632617341507987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10299133194795217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058953928207389386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356524662297984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09445423445032453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046221242258865015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051952207585996495,0.0,0.0731114578159385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612723167662567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071345975622654,0.0,0.0,0.0951927430267378,0.050238284145603516,0.07451392922258117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09212296847160213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573551850934877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592273802421936,0.0,0.06194392555982181,0.06952383027975792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07806634238401408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6403542688246723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06470270781528516,0.0,0.1460053413351168,0.15285099623953002,0.10471347024230744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4811192585095239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981296927113698,0.0,0.10660750183550573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062063537680158785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332612601688471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1762380555701474,0.0,0.13309974389586704,0.09283450510599686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05886708036767376
addiction,thelivap,2020/02/12,"Broke yet another bubbler today.. maybe it’s a sign. In the past 2 months, I’ve broken 3 bubblers and 2 pipes. I’ve been killing my lungs, motivation, and ambition with bowls and bowls of tobacco and weed from the minute I wake up in the morning to when I go to sleep at night. 

Unable to stop, unsure of what else to do, and allowing my depression to take the wheel, I’m caught in a cycle of self destruction. I’ve been numbing away all the emotions. Not just the terrible feelings and shit I don’t want to deal with, but also my light and everything that I know I can be. 

I am so scared of facing my demons without anything to hold onto. But it just simply isn’t possible for me to continue smoking and to simultaneously heal. 

I finally want to be able to see myself as someone worthy of living a happy and healthy life. I want to have the energy to get through the day and maybe have a good day here or there.  I want to take back control of my life and be the person I know I am. I want to love the people and animals in my life with all my attention. I want to escape the prison I have created in my own mind. 

So instead of getting pissed and rolling a joint or going to buy a new bubbler with the money I don’t have, I took the time to post this. I hope this is the first step towards recovery. And to be honest, I’m really dreading it.",3.9970783373301337,4.385790442446044,5.501678657074339,83.12651478816949,70.83453237410072,8.911590727418066,28.75379696243006,8.998388855275968,2.1211960031974417,1045,37,224,19,18,355,150,278,0.129,0.705,0.16699999999999998,0.8587,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,3,11,15,4,2,20,0,18,12,6,3,2,46,40,23,1,7,8,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,7,18,0,3,5,0,2,5,5,10,0,1,4,3,27,5,45,32,3,31,1,2,1,1,4,10,2,3,15,151,34,1,0.12409623550846305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09923971470138288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13012572308072293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212062813893837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11659249825847333,0.09542234510253417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13918448023982646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16006361135508115,0.12793776976180987,0.10688390580344403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366648108618004,0.13959156205036086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11152969470354876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06274678534775484,0.0,0.0,0.13594136022345074,0.0,0.10555619452890737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12967032233987086,0.0,0.14105350087665816,0.10408603463848387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321027502588817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232555624866213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13729409820318114,0.0,0.1364000912770407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629585233039475,0.0,0.0,0.10957924950240193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11200169758690227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493426964719629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253018220033775,0.0,0.0990524312357087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11985291754666268,0.0,0.11645591051515307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11846389857456295,0.08603270452832766,0.10835604623104876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13989985973377894,0.11884989024924272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07949922613243925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12424198050729138,0.0,0.09888863290647147,0.0,0.129459438018644,0.0,0.12738300243861486,0.0,0.0,0.12418585632562805,0.0,0.10514633763881534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10375000954666877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866098502706019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07236151288047526,0.0,0.11762872107006585,0.0,0.13787548374256833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4391710495529191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11962434264566725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,SweetAsOleander,2020/02/12,"What Does This Mean? [TW: Mentions of Abuse, Sexual Assault] I recently left my ex, who I was with for 5 years. He relapsed a year ago and became emotionally abusive. I haven't seen him in 2 months, but I recently learned that he's in a bad way; he's really, really sick and lost everything in his life aside from drugs and his multiple sexual partners that provide him drugs/money. He's done some things to really hurt people that he's known for over a decade, and has lost the vast majority of the HUGE support system that he had. 

I reached out to him shortly after learning this because I'm a dumb ass. It was mostly just me pleading for him to get help, which was useless. He said things that I believe he just thought I wanted to hear (I still love you, I'm sorry, I'm having regrets, etc.), but his primary message was that we need to move on (not unwise) and that this is ""what"" he is. What does that mean? ""This is what I am"". I'm having a hard time grasping it. 

I have been 6 years sober and when I was an addict, I did terrible things. I had this constant ache/need for attention and stimulation; I did a lot of fucked up, unforgivable things and hurt a few people--including myself--in pursuit of that. After 6 years, I don't recognize that person anymore. I've realized that who I was then was just an amplification of my own issues, but I've worked through most of those while sober and can't even remember what that mindset felt like. So, I'm having a hard time getting over that statement. ""This is what I am"". Is this the addiction? Or should I really just give up any + all hope of him getting better?",3.3742105263157924,4.809631164086689,4.6828557275541804,84.50076656346751,73.27244582043343,8.016297213622291,26.542291021671826,8.608573733854374,1.8179484582043344,1258,44,258,23,25,417,169,323,0.18600000000000005,0.728,0.086,-0.9887,0,0,2,0,1,0,57.0,1,1,0,4,8,16,3,0,13,0,29,8,1,1,1,44,53,17,0,5,9,1,3,1,1,1,5,2,0,2,36,12,0,0,12,0,0,1,4,11,0,0,19,6,31,5,30,33,9,33,0,6,1,3,31,13,3,6,18,171,67,3,0.0,0.24652548050197126,0.0,0.22682384201172384,0.0,0.0,0.09221946145338623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07074637870345639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031733229276317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868636653781853,0.06341788400231507,0.0,0.0,0.11721018092350748,0.0,0.0920092171900376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242330456995824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820809142486126,0.10646243717522938,0.0,0.0,0.12064588482885595,0.0,0.0,0.1170237366532671,0.0,0.0,0.11602490375222398,0.06871317593153081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934986429716912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988851874376477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617733684996416,0.16305970178667484,0.0997984569078289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863872457878118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11725336720543784,0.0,0.06973149291247913,0.0,0.0,0.10332878487512702,0.0,0.0,0.22274012520965106,0.0,0.0,0.10858399320057957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303275206498314,0.0,0.07348197013692302,0.050825535610306886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271298094464777,0.08844560048582534,0.09389433695426316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266460600217135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303858383368137,0.11057119525940552,0.0,0.07713955611236921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721237617117512,0.09083807955639042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26658621384879194,0.0,0.20544115183618544,0.0,0.11784972742552464,0.0,0.0989597256339833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11645703733119545,0.0,0.0,0.08308132417559139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11805603508268075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27646106097366463,0.0,0.0,0.08259101481879658,0.12132559450981292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0613616808133412,0.08257698640648356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07573766047996668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679767708537103
addiction,unkwn1234567,2020/02/12,"Struggling I am 20 years old been taking drugs since I was 14. That includes coke, Mandy, ket, Valium, ghb and pretty much all other recreational drugs. When I was growing up they were never a massive issue other than Valium which I used to get into long binges of.

At the age of 18 I went and spent the summer in a party island in Europe and worked there. I have since done that twice. There is a huge drug culture there and I got myself into habits of sniffing ketamine and cocaine pretty much all day everyday as I had access to large amounts it was never a issue financially. I was there for 6 months and had around 4 days I did not get on it over that period. So that happened for two summers and I have recently returned to England. I honestly feel like I have lost all my brain cells and it’s pretty fucking depressing. 

I am also really struggling with not getting on it. I keep telling myself I won’t drink or take anything for a week and then end up spending money I don’t have on drugs multiple times in the week which then makes me feel absolutely awful about myself and is also not helping my relationships. I would not say I am addicted but I just feel very stuck in a rut. Drugs have always been a big part of my life and I can’t imagine stopping completely but I also can’t go on like this. 

Any advice would be much appreciated.",4.014438202247192,5.414236689138581,5.128859550561799,82.06901966292136,71.62172284644194,7.7370037453183516,26.08408239700375,8.238735603445708,1.6698540823970034,1064,34,204,16,20,351,155,267,0.063,0.847,0.09,0.7668,0,0,7,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,2,12,8,1,2,10,1,28,11,1,2,5,38,47,22,0,2,8,0,3,2,0,3,7,1,0,0,13,15,2,2,4,1,3,3,10,5,0,2,16,4,30,3,29,27,8,43,0,2,0,1,7,17,1,1,25,151,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10318669825032528,0.0,0.09249467391340037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270840156621521,0.07875960890221792,0.0,0.0,0.06436788273077107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789207640479823,0.08426201903860546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10566503155314233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992427900187015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208784133539825,0.0,0.08152524626031614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09686378012437333,0.0,0.09272476514644766,0.5488422382130007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08383524098053187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14357953395507592,0.06762074922040957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08750598480334522,0.14835823338341986,0.0,0.0537939800590574,0.0,0.0757033528811839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370211154840668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.063444499078124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975881131688873,0.0,0.08413271568076422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06685683314513452,0.0924862070921244,0.0,0.0,0.08376570327827645,0.0,0.0,0.10332588895040494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06318219843777474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755518222175034,0.0,0.20874447361598905,0.0,0.14600581158753534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932332226582644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250092571548634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2888910672491675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06063769787633296,0.0,0.09345928520875696,0.10162284154335123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07527256276321316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15659733170171086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913488016948741,0.0,0.19790556929505626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423358725857989,0.0,0.08273166124473676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05519343733750135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246308487428052,0.0,0.0,0.08175055962548823,0.0,0.07809936214949957,0.0,0.0,0.15185126269103724,0.0,0.0,0.08774509302676052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890915036813429,0.0,0.0,0.13447879808800564,0.0,0.0,0.0609539939605404
addiction,biggggyikes,2020/02/12,I’m done I can’t do it anymore I’ve smoked weed everyday for the past year to cover up extreme mental illness. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve done it before driving and in between my college classes. I’m a fucking idiot. I am so embarrassed. I need to deal with the root of the problem. Please encourage me to stay sober.,0.5430223880597005,2.869405895522392,2.998638059701495,88.48064365671644,87.05970149253729,5.141044776119403,26.285447761194035,6.6274283507984215,1.2744044776119403,253,12,50,3,8,87,51,67,0.226,0.696,0.078,-0.8928,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,6,2,1,4,0,5,2,0,1,0,5,10,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,3,0,5,1,9,7,0,7,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,3,30,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590229622548279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21807656553188196,0.0,0.0,0.2222471598080139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692677972178624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5345609710630151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414591096395346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632106349893292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19366359214061069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493283498563433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867000685752279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499164794596907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27838590542957703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16819303438229533
addiction,houseplant6849,2020/02/12,"About to try and throw cigs for the first time I'm 16, got caught up in the vape epidemic, I vaped for about 3 years before I started online school and lost a handle to it, ironically I'm able to find cigs. Been smoking for about 6 months now, the guilt is insufferable, and even though its not my only symptom since starting, it alone is enough to make me want to quit. I find myself making little almost ""goals"" for myself, ""oh ill quit when that happens"" or ""ill try to throw it then"", im really just procrastinating the whole endeavor. So, quite spontaneously, i've decided im going to try.  I started a anti depressant called Wellbutrin, I looked up some of the effects one night and smoking cessation aid came up, so I figured its as good as time as any. I had one last cig and couldn't even finish it without feeling slightly nauseous so it seems to be working. Hopefully that will be the last of my life.  I could use some tricks or tips if you guys have any! I think its just gonna be a brutal week, a test of self control. Anyway, good luck to all you in your attempts, just remember there is no better day then today :)",5.733470162124871,5.677376448430498,6.180717488789238,81.30276992066231,67.02690582959643,9.014004829251467,29.70989996550535,8.617729084823388,2.0527643325284592,880,28,178,12,13,285,139,223,0.115,0.8029999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.687,0,1,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,3,0,11,16,10,2,1,10,0,12,4,0,5,1,36,33,18,0,5,8,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,10,6,0,1,9,0,0,5,4,5,0,3,6,2,17,5,28,20,5,30,0,2,1,0,6,6,0,9,19,110,27,5,0.11496131436533838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151171502094318,0.11906525116410845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15635527191975296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09782361122400876,0.0,0.0,0.1016739403240232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11738835541250615,0.13148511759035286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12893888941970122,0.0917872550334348,0.0,0.0,0.07414053725339606,0.0,0.09901601160840184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11878576883579972,0.0,0.15186172782465587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058127894744121486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21014511726021268,0.09778603527114216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06533516423835099,0.19284819237405806,0.09194506501389106,0.0,0.0,0.11382977541378235,0.10165991062769764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418252462085965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24835589395031205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874176297799693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812005761462137,0.0,0.11522143841500025,0.0,0.0,0.09653855032000508,0.0,0.12549385483723235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15347514005619864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09176102433149792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10788340583885968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15580152367230796,0.08743325993006687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36682652608629057,0.0,0.0,0.0736471617351293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13022875880703158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634698762937727,0.0,0.10465646295319464,0.11992972301409095,0.0,0.0,0.09509718722045124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24411063003127284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948882352668612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07366256831088662,0.11294890767347075,0.0,0.13406973380165882,0.0,0.10896988394467716,0.0,0.0,0.23415355858559803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992896646398833,0.0,0.0,0.06780716175762587,0.0,0.09221503202428913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12835020198368033,0.0,0.11081860464411628,0.0,0.08369320604061226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740313172965314
addiction,flourishersvk,2020/02/12,"Is this a sign of addiction to video games? Hey. 

So lately I've been thinking about not playing video games anymore. They're still fun but I realized I have problem that I spend way too much money on them. Also they are my go to way to get instant gratification and help me procrastinate and do nothing at home. 

It's been two days now without gaming and while I don't miss it that much I started thinking about selling my gamer rig and getting a work laptop so I can write on the go. But the idea of not having the ability to play my games anymore is super scary. I can't stop thinking about it and doubting this decision. 

Is this a sign of addiction or am I just overthinking this?",2.9120559610705605,4.869501708029201,4.107755474452554,85.94635340632604,75.71532846715328,6.9024330900243305,27.47506082725061,7.793537801064563,1.668757177615572,542,22,108,8,12,177,85,137,0.11199999999999999,0.738,0.15,0.7557,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,2,10,7,0,1,6,0,13,2,0,0,0,24,22,12,0,1,7,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,9,5,0,1,6,8,3,2,5,3,0,1,2,0,14,4,14,20,2,14,0,1,0,0,9,3,0,2,7,77,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39418395314597415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14458077205005646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3585978257851568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11659707293835725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18891464341963649,0.0,0.20549861634000008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118230293264665,0.0,0.18135096696523964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20409424402860385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203943331312144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658085560851079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17347656974161932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17299529235164454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279668136092486,0.0,0.1443821976811595,0.15115174933336514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34753618607387765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17660931560866533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870114768526549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742788143611023,0.0,0.13162007196967326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,nwmnxx,2020/02/12,Seeking addiction services as a parent Does a parent risk losing custody of their child for seeking outpatient medication assisted treatment for an opiate addiction?,17.445999999999998,15.942870400000004,15.4,29.18000000000003,45.0,18.0,65.0,15.903189008614273,10.9242,140,10,11,5,1,45,20,25,0.183,0.8170000000000001,0.0,-0.5719,2,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,8,1,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6113791785300985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453897235670055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3137083971746396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28248477494479474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6227268880448938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,faggotpop13,2020/02/12,"how do I support a loved one? I’m a fixer, and a helper. I always have been, since I can remember.

I have this friend, and we’ve been really great friends for a long time. First it was just weed, and then drinking, and then blacking out every night, and recently he got into cocaine.

I love him so much. He’s helped me through so many of my hard times, and now I want to be there for him.

It’s a problem, but he doesn’t see it as one yet, so I fear if I suggest he get clean or calm down a little that I’ll hurt him. I just want to help as much as I can; so I decided to hear from you guys, what should I do?
How do I keep him from writing off my concerns, and ignoring his problems?


TL;DR: Friend with addiction, I don’t know how to support him in a non-threatening way.",2.08384231536926,2.740664125748502,3.7572604790419177,92.9119785429142,75.40718562874251,7.243313373253492,24.695109780439118,7.492282038375204,0.8412678642714568,587,18,144,7,12,197,103,167,0.114,0.675,0.21100000000000002,0.9165,0,0,2,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,0,1,12,15,0,1,7,0,14,4,0,3,0,29,27,22,0,6,5,0,1,0,3,1,1,1,1,1,6,10,1,2,3,1,0,0,2,5,0,3,4,4,24,10,19,21,2,17,0,1,2,2,23,6,0,2,10,99,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15856891967468514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12103135684531938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14249187236025118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12255327000484514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636788619361563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12372511885950628,0.0,0.0,0.3371377051248039,0.0,0.07599495280998114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163347513358676,0.1603661677095464,0.0,0.14402468055658418,0.0,0.0,0.13030034207861493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639399068553334,0.0,0.19499268507872752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15571405858151766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12928831003422644,0.0,0.0,0.07993902006896292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14578550120710582,0.0,0.12872431524462175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625601161211055,0.0,0.0,0.14746993467352867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138543451214256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13650095510437768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971300092226689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783642144544438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931830788934053,0.0,0.14362062301062292,0.0,0.1647737186362946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11590989912824695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032301707938567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3301243428046657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16963356479355965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.171587878058982,0.11545650058947915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,maliciousmunky,2020/02/12,"I cant keep staying on my plan So I went through the right approach for quitting vaping

Setting a quit date
Understanding my triggers
Understanding a better routine
Keeping it in small improved intervals rather than cold turkey

But I keep ignoring it all and constantly vape and effectively looking for it.

I feel so miserable",6.580526315789473,9.455746350877195,6.866526315789473,66.13768421052632,67.94736842105263,10.174035087719297,41.22456140350877,10.355215969177356,5.435115087719297,270,17,38,8,5,87,45,57,0.11199999999999999,0.741,0.147,0.2695,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,5,3,3,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,2,1,14,9,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,4,4,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,1,3,6,1,6,8,1,10,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,0,2,26,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902694270034876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324845096571545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877872137773167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5736656253939321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18065921901518664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4576451134262261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18372411670827726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22930528810569106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4479262496159675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994323027181764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,pup5581,2020/02/12,"My addiction story (Opiates) It started in College. HS I was a straight shooter. But once I hit college a lot of people around me were doing pills and they were easy to get and cheap back then. Then back surgery at 19 had me on opiates for years and years and my doctor would always write my prescription and would up until about 6 months ago (I am 31 now) 

Left college and took a break from them. Then my father was getting prescribed them from back surgery and then a knee replacement and I would take some of his pills without him knowing because I knew he got then every month. Felt awful doing it but I still did it.

Fast forward to when I was 25 and my father passed. Really rough time in my life and went back to get doctor to prescribe me and then went to the dark web to get more (and I still am doing it now) and it's just always been a part of me for the last 11 years. 

I have that addictive personality. Video games. Meds ect. 

Here I am at 31 and placed another order for Oxycodone online waiting for my usual weekly package to arrive. 

I have deleted my account and the access portal to this world of illegal drugs online as I want/need a change. But looking at it it's going to leave a void that I need to fill with something healthy. Haven't found it yet but I am keeping up the hope that I will.",2.1412452830188684,4.217327426415096,3.1492830188679237,91.36354716981134,78.50943396226415,5.4475471698113225,23.052830188679252,6.360717304075467,0.4806030188679245,1028,33,212,8,25,328,146,265,0.033,0.924,0.043,0.3818,0,0,2,1,0,0,22.0,0,0,3,0,14,1,0,0,11,1,22,9,1,0,0,37,43,28,0,5,6,2,2,0,0,4,8,0,0,1,12,17,0,2,4,2,2,7,2,0,0,0,15,3,32,1,34,23,4,51,0,0,1,0,11,14,0,3,30,152,44,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572433410741886,0.0,0.0,0.1045870758820198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963468671761584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12371814202252884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503215855673254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3628944366732042,0.0,0.07192289937390113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12481307312093555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415264305348489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13682578614739518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09940791896763647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11328463563927126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12936507146509638,0.0,0.0,0.2465703317613735,0.0,0.06705391002287732,0.0,0.0943638267135496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11718627819133708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10487098260892533,0.0,0.0,0.06484177557280654,0.09617397484546507,0.0,0.12492966723320074,0.1281916509927725,0.0,0.08333668691564974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990781509828499,0.0,0.0,0.10030709986435468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13105535393568407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883498890944737,0.0,0.0,0.08748479422326355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256507657020055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12776685871992136,0.0,0.08179632823876845,0.10302043592331456,0.12326979328376125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07558456788157747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083104467888432,0.0,0.0,0.08351078326943118,0.0,0.1884468336506903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08871045405933779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879832607699007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13108629312673456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12994442022665392,0.0,0.06959093738274635,0.0,0.0946408956370827,0.0,0.0,0.21874758351421736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11373386493005218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514406598213646,0.0,0.0,0.2279364878046561
addiction,juniorsparks,2020/02/12,"Subreddit for family members and loved ones of addicts Hello! A little while ago I was searching for a subreddit that would help me cope with having a family member with addiction issues. Unfortunately, I couldn't find one. r/AssociatesOfAddicts main focus is for those who aid and help addicts on their journey to recovery, and the heartbreak that may come with that process. I hope you will be able to find other's stories and pieces of advice that will help you process your own emotions and ultimately know that you're not alone. I figured some individuals on this subreddit may be interested in checking it out.",7.9218701298701335,9.14987092727273,7.916753246753249,66.29227272727276,62.45454545454545,10.64935064935065,35.714285714285715,10.608840637214634,4.079155844155844,502,22,80,12,7,162,77,110,0.053,0.778,0.17,0.9106,0,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,1,0,0,4,0,0,4,0,11,4,0,0,0,21,15,6,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,10,10,0,0,4,0,1,2,2,1,0,2,1,0,9,3,14,6,4,9,0,1,0,1,10,5,0,4,2,61,19,0,0.17151223577332111,0.0,0.0,0.5609209594492666,0.0,0.1675997717896681,0.1520352485569085,0.0,0.0,0.1776349508772264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14774260438748862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929281803291681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3233729433780011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3135181525813596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34488310894827223,0.0,0.0,0.17035034952480105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1790142138695562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09425863934855176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17190031812591267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15479648907018576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324422594631049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12183737136692188,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,simpleman0874,2020/02/12,"Weird and looked down on How do you get away from addiction when you are looked down on and seen as weird by most people?

Everywhere I go I get weird looks, get whispers of people saying I'm weird or act weird, and people turning their nose up at me. This has me constantly looking at myself trying to figure out and analyze what's wrong with me. Is it my hair? Is it what I wear? Is it my behaviors or how I communicate?  What is it that I'm doing wrong? 

I'll admit, I live in a car eight now but have a full time job. I don't have the best fashion sense and shopping for clothes stresses me out. I'm overweight. I have no clue what to do with my hair so I end up growing it out long and then getting it all cut off, rinse and repeat. I've never known what to wear or how to act or how to communicate in real life social interactions. I over share often. Ive never had many friends, right now I have none. I've been an addict/alcoholic since I was 15. My family's either passed away already or have left me because of my selfish behavior and isolating tendencies. I'm almost 30. I'm also male. 

I feel so unprepared for the real world. It's overwhelming all the things I still need to learn. So I find whatever escape I can. Be it drugs, alcohol, movies, social media, reddit, games, etc. Drugs are the only thing that helps to make me not care about what others in society think of me anymore. Without it, I'm naked, vulnerable, and utterly alone, while ,in my mind atleast, pummeled by psychological stones from the world around me because of my inadequacies. This shell of drugs and escapisms keeps me alive, yet is the very thing that is also slowly killing me. 

I don't know what to do. I don't want these drugs. I don't want to escape the world and the people in it but I don't know how to face it head on without also being in excruciating pain and confusion inside. I'm lost and chained in this cave of shadows. I've climbed out before but I always fall back down because I don't know how to process the truth of reality.",2.8352855302705,4.498455294403897,4.254825390010018,86.0880689136969,75.13138686131387,7.2683841419779585,24.496994418205237,8.027739517013583,1.2990726492056677,1590,51,331,25,34,527,205,411,0.172,0.778,0.05,-0.9941,1,1,6,0,0,0,49.0,0,2,1,3,21,20,2,3,12,0,31,16,7,7,5,65,62,37,1,3,12,0,3,0,1,0,9,2,0,1,29,20,2,1,10,2,1,8,13,15,0,1,5,11,43,5,56,55,8,55,0,2,5,0,13,32,0,9,15,225,72,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903600494728472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18661417927640234,0.08742765251490353,0.0904261040725668,0.09634798403789932,0.20946364787771385,0.07264833210728806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658736525486979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07772378797293461,0.0,0.0,0.16405992348179332,0.06713546270047999,0.0,0.15966881738366825,0.0,0.07429378397820109,0.0,0.09162572417903896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890176505836517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094350336499159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4050042782280249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733012535155813,0.0,0.09737294908007997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823074380569445,0.0,0.04414620561633363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07979911879378783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067454948883199,0.0,0.18246202353239846,0.0,0.049619887441990335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960453090996047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05852158363470857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866410085678584,0.07760451778591909,0.09659480490666457,0.0,0.14394872443816056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09486181031194298,0.0,0.061669140891740776,0.0,0.0,0.07709571180429649,0.07726598336103986,0.2932712915952088,0.0,0.0953084150667792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058279635962574926,0.08851792683522994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815750428655655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647387399297517,0.13467662978081005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06640265723660024,0.09290325135350587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421171024324183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987541965113508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07456166546321667,0.0,0.06943185999028749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07222315549271771,0.0,0.0,0.17800167320870305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06972532005483703,0.0,0.10001250858267716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17401325884938001,0.05594427427992292,0.0,0.0,0.05091075516659498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0592772838159681,0.0949674473021922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07203931657213232,0.10299457492445564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683260998276252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19091802781470898,0.0,0.0
addiction,freesabe,2020/02/12,"High functioning half-way house in Italy/Spain/Singapore This post is to test the waters, seeing whether people are interested in the concept or not.

One solution to addiction is connection. I think a lot of addictions are allowed to fester because of a lack of social connection and social accountability.

Yo! I'm an addict, you're an addict. I work remotely, maybe you do too. Suppose you, a couple others, and I were to all form a group inside a large house in some random area in Italy / Spain / Singapore.

We'll hash out what we believe to be the root causes of our addictions and model paths to fix ourselves. This way we understand each-other and become socially accountable for our actions and whether they follow what our (occasionally rational) selves believe in.
I'll call you out on your bullshit, you'll call me out on mine.
Working together, cooking and eating together, doing outdoor activities together. These should form the basis of a successful, clean lifestyle.

After the 90/120 day period is up, we can decide what to do after that, it'll most likely be a return to our previous endeavours in life, except with completely revitalized mindsets.

Why 90 / 120 days? Habits take time to form and time to break.",6.490462328767122,8.349230246575345,6.990134132420093,69.32574914383564,66.1689497716895,10.406506849315068,32.86558219178082,10.550175099000144,4.016974657534247,980,42,152,27,16,320,138,219,0.038,0.917,0.045,0.3464,1,1,0,0,0,0,37.0,8,5,1,3,1,3,0,0,14,0,16,9,0,3,1,32,22,10,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,4,6,0,1,0,9,14,3,0,3,1,2,2,1,0,0,1,1,1,19,3,32,15,8,27,0,0,1,0,20,14,0,5,9,108,28,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6241370184682976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06980121434805328,0.1264618291023482,0.0,0.2580159553137153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23384491249338996,0.0,0.0,0.11762822596879745,0.0,0.0,0.12005636407995528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12669765748186732,0.0,0.14769256614345802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11716725012700414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12098086977551245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642469028633909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08087830158535997,0.05594138248699907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973480969095092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11503571105046333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759158381054845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793833826219444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096641836840687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124569808671597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3501704288473459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08609354562471815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07337021112599422,0.0,0.0,0.1335376284073953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920379300847635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817775543619471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033229955284032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667220771096447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,FrejaB,2020/02/13,"Former opiod addict, is it safe to use prescribed meds if someone else has them I was in another fantastic car accident and I'm down an arm for a little bit. My doctor prescribed me Tylenol 3s but not sure I trust myself with them as it took me 4 years of my life to get clean off of opioids. Is giving them to my straight-edge girlfriend to supply me with my dosage a good idea?",6.375,5.221328423076926,6.689358974358977,81.83480769230772,66.05128205128204,9.338461538461539,32.32051282051282,8.07648339933343,2.1932205128205124,299,10,62,3,4,97,60,78,0.094,0.7340000000000001,0.172,0.772,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,3,0,0,4,0,0,3,0,4,5,1,1,1,10,9,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,1,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,13,4,13,7,1,8,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,2,39,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802176721359603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269534749578151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2806272477928044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630970886988452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147286359506194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342957296687363,0.2465815853346433,0.0,0.2155976744387644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2901732224338676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18155892637307888,0.0,0.25762724412349786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855197421045826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21779392355004892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422624591432829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28558714682773484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22200488922024528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165528954648553
addiction,Phreshey,2020/02/13,"Text I sent my girlfriend, who is currently on the boarder line of addiction. (Super long post) Absurdly long post, no tldr, I’m sorry. I have struggled with addictions and using drugs to cope with mental health for years, same with her. I’m 20 and she’s 18.
If you care to read it, let me know what you think. Thank you

“This is all from the heart, I want you understand what you’ve been through and how it’s affected you and why you use drugs to numb your pain

1. Lifelong trauma from your mom and family

2. Doc shoving pain meds down your throat at an adolescent age where your brain is barely over half developing 

3. Continued (chronic) stress and PTSD from trauma caused by mostly your mom but the rest of your family likes to contribute to that.

4. Growing up around drugs & alcohol and seeing it from a young age.

I don’t blame you for the way you think, it’s literally not your fault. your brain development was hindered all throughout your life. Your brain chemicals have been imbalanced, and those pain meds the doctor gave you back then only fueled it. Your brain has been wired wrong since probably before you made it to middle school. That’s why you make impulsive decisions, that’s why you get excited when you see drugs. You had bad influences your whole life, that took advantage of your naive young mind for their own advantage. Connections in your brain literally aren’t connecting where they would in a “normal” brain, and some connections are being made where they aren’t supposed to be. That’s why everything “wrong” with you is “wrong”. 

Do you remember the first time you used any form of drug to cope with mental hurt? It was probably weed. From the first time you did that your brain realized “hey, this helps my pain more than anything else I’ve tried, even crying or venting to someone or anything else that’s healthy” ; right there your brain rewired itself without you knowing, subconsciously. And the more you fed it, the worse it got. Your brain can be your worst enemy, and it’s not even your fault because it’s subconscious and you don’t know it’s happening, but it is.

You are a product of your environment, just like I am. I started smoking as a social thing with my sister, but when I got stressed or sad or angry I knew that weed helped me feel happy, so I smoked it to help my pain. Honestly weed IS a gateway drug, for those who have been traumatized mentally. It’s a new coping mechanism, and it works. Yeah weed it’s great for a while, but eventually it won’t help like it used to. You build up a tolerance and without it, your emotions are even worse. Then you realize “hey, maybe this pill or this alcohol will do a better job at helping with my emotions because weed isn’t cutting it anymore” that’s how some people like me and you get into other drugs, we’re just trying to cope with emotions the only way our brains know how. 

When I think about coke, or if it’s even mentioned, my brain and body perks up, excited, even though I didn’t do it for that long, and didn’t do big amounts. I literally SMELL the cocaine when that happens, it’s haunting. It’s my mind playing tricks on me, because it wants it so bad. My brain wants to be happy, to feel good, drugs are instant happiness, my mind is gonna choose drugs over everything when it knows how easy drugs make me feel better. That’s how the brain works, it’s all chemicals, and guess what else is chemicals? Every single drug. But the happiness is only temporary, and when it wears off, it leaves your brain freaking out to feel good again when the emotions come flooding back.

You did nothing wrong, you are not 100% to blame. The people and influences you were around growing up are to blame. You are doing what humans are MADE to do, cope with stress. You followed your natural instinct just like everyone else. Drugs are just the worst way to do it, because of all the negatives and dependency and addiction. It’s like a slide, you start at the top, but it’s only downhill from there.

This is why I’m studying and majoring in psychology, so I can learn to rewire my brain and control it, instead of letting it control me. I want to help people understand and overcome their addictions or emotions or whatever else they’re mentally dealing with, before it’s too late. I’m sorry it took a while to type”",4.053747329440252,5.9946896610169516,4.333067226890758,85.63188541518305,72.48668280871671,8.006523287281015,26.674903859849024,8.714408393718397,1.9342812135023504,3404,120,664,65,68,1063,328,826,0.14,0.722,0.138,-0.4653,5,0,16,0,0,0,102.0,1,54,4,12,38,51,2,4,30,1,59,51,19,21,4,125,112,62,0,8,25,3,4,6,1,4,30,0,0,1,66,40,4,2,21,2,0,8,15,27,0,3,23,7,91,24,78,79,19,72,0,2,2,0,81,27,0,15,38,429,157,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14399390822314628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07058021123202361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03577894832918711,0.0,0.02245585709111415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0327486075999686,0.0,0.0,0.05434801525451202,0.058792546141497024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05078322726528962,0.05514340357459429,0.08051877516706113,0.0,0.05619799081441863,0.0,0.0,0.05840993900042051,0.0,0.03667961341188696,0.0,0.5529463019647642,0.0,0.0,0.03366777704638807,0.03392233490686401,0.0,0.028445230997039626,0.0,0.0,0.07407318573260055,0.0,0.0,0.036272736358300264,0.0,0.03404387531372745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03379906213186401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4595356197162547,0.0,0.13792677341809842,0.1857245808699997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090524552120754,0.0,0.027822167720080327,0.031553605523434704,0.059355466760670376,0.0,0.062259753107200624,0.0,0.06678696183912491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0561764040724489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03450490260888663,0.0,0.0,0.05539399337240307,0.052820866602945535,0.03640649012845707,0.0363770747919544,0.0,0.058401879179939886,0.14060865893744265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035100474056019536,0.0,0.039130819001098174,0.13280231171884713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035350363593383664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0327688962853011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09073918727952444,0.0,0.03724986405117376,0.03496516365167579,0.0,0.06753375703213843,0.04664834159455411,0.09679627298198012,0.0,0.0,0.08766937401784795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09373766237817173,0.04408442094500718,0.0,0.03317468987025435,0.0,0.07335922682377392,0.0,0.13311224188570478,0.0,0.10002737141989497,0.07734912416318601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03189251921884777,0.0,0.0,0.032354209773905296,0.03168516762653518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045782356516893,0.1756868403595468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06867917124047206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06325123303662901,0.0,0.071205856250525,0.0,0.038600546437440535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03303059014376526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037407096812505036,0.028200312101743782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033419676805369725,0.05262796584434155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02731585343774514,0.0,0.0,0.0336614177535666,0.027979140287776413,0.0,0.0,0.0739300762948056,0.04674579334698318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134785793177272,0.034521402546466316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030401902418077588,0.0,0.0,0.02193811962625269,0.06347682761100662,0.032443607409856405,0.0,0.038510384018761314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07337654527026127,0.044839070956069545,0.0,0.0,0.06875341280203735,0.0,0.11408042683317753,0.0,0.0,0.07790810839891828,0.0786331557774112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14898453279507276,0.03686749743674029,0.0,0.0636633921803968,0.0,0.048080314818159414,0.0,0.06730377312066793,0.023457635574872,0.14441597935819298,0.0,0.021264862528345797
addiction,TrippyDemon,2020/02/13,"Need some motivation to keep going fairly new on reddit, no idea if this is the right place for this post.
I stopped using most of the drugs that i was using on NYE, except weed alchol and cigarettes. I have put all friends aside so that I don't fall back into my old habits.
I am quite proud of myself that I have not used from NYE, but find it difficult to persevere.
Ther is no one there to supports or motivates me to continue. sometimes it's pretty lonely.
Hope that maybe there is somebody who is proud of me or who might motivate me to keep going.",4.999111969111972,5.428962450450452,5.5834749034749045,83.27513513513516,68.63963963963964,8.865379665379669,26.66795366795367,8.841846274778883,1.7768548262548258,436,12,89,7,7,141,78,111,0.09699999999999999,0.705,0.198,0.9323,0,2,2,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,7,4,7,0,0,2,0,10,1,0,6,1,25,20,6,0,3,6,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,10,2,0,3,5,0,0,4,4,2,0,1,1,0,11,5,14,18,3,15,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,7,5,63,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13843551800456458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20878301420480333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16454839070390168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13909430895380295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20463565886203414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17881501048255258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032371839800686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3200461034168561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18086898466842646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19098829235769027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334933973289483,0.0,0.17387856803458482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889160596587179,0.0,0.12199612498133455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1880978704881109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724234098812,0.1831599428690345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809845295832634,0.0,0.19148899047147536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15374859078180828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17805885306971808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15051701254185776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043011652208032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4664763495730156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,The_NintenFan,2020/02/13,"Help me So i'm addictwd to games and I cant stop playing 
My grades are going Down very much and my mom has started to treat me not like her son but a useless decoration, when she comes back from work she doesnt hug me anymore, she ignores me. Also I wam ted to become a Youtuber and i want to make videos but i cant because I only want to play games. Ever since The week I had not been going to Church my Life started to feel sad, i feel like everything is my fault, and I  cant do anything please someone help. There is also A place near my house I want to visit but cant because I spend The whole day in Computer. Please someone Tell me how can I escape my addiction. Im 12 if that helps
And sorry English is not The First language I speak.",1.051132075471699,2.856456251572329,2.8672704402515734,93.38543396226416,80.82389937106919,5.2462893081761015,22.549685534591195,6.079149491110277,0.2604017610062894,580,19,130,4,15,193,95,159,0.16,0.693,0.147,-0.6423,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,8,10,0,0,6,0,14,3,0,2,1,23,26,14,0,4,7,2,2,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,6,0,2,2,5,1,4,8,4,0,1,2,3,27,6,12,24,2,17,1,2,0,1,14,4,0,1,11,83,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16006092193835786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348317985468247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14561094672214472,0.0,0.0,0.12082446451382327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11289936186037637,0.0,0.17900631416455287,0.16215667679677184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12647673653193756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946899783255067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13281161818608606,0.0,0.0,0.13195684246685793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14847826296743158,0.10489180917606432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12488926980276978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16688806191081368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952411072324376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16941633663818007,0.0,0.0,0.15859619505312986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103706839471971,0.14346255694542154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09800682746441708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719596652033083,0.0,0.0,0.10793326873539827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11166702851653798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534008746563381,0.32233951806536904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145515706131076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24880869168793185,0.0,0.0,0.1643585665079903,0.20784698108931146,0.0,0.0,0.12275227419993255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12833152137691095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114600157203098,0.2598035669150597,0.0,0.11777415847179976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16392486882541976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068903485132856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,NWO21,2020/02/13,"Please help me, i can't take it anymore I.m addicted to slot machines, i need help, yesterday i losed some money that i should give to a friend, i.m losing almost all my money, i.m fighting with this addiction for 12 years (i.m 26). I.m at the point where i feel like i cant take.it anymore, my gf will leave me if i wont stop this, it ruined my life, and maked problems in hers to. I accept any advice, but if ia anyone here who fighted and defeated this demon, please help me. Sometimes i have suicidal thoughts after loseing money at slot. I've tried psychologist but didnt work.",6.829507246376814,5.9703992695652195,7.0710869565217385,78.5043115942029,65.0,10.10144927536232,33.07971014492754,9.2995712137729,2.7528840579710154,456,16,90,7,6,148,79,115,0.155,0.6890000000000001,0.155,-0.4599,0,0,0,0,3,1,23.0,0,0,0,5,2,11,2,0,2,0,7,3,0,1,1,18,13,6,1,5,4,0,1,1,2,3,3,0,0,0,7,3,0,1,3,0,3,0,4,8,0,0,2,1,16,3,9,8,2,9,1,5,0,0,10,5,0,4,5,51,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32202174000137024,0.0,0.14432720660464896,0.0,0.0,0.1478966036468708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043861247930623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929502708023258,0.10327275262647807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746797344631799,0.1055143332105015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11410986743922667,0.0,0.0,0.14168383913208624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2969933382850791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563891553119938,0.0,0.0,0.10432233081122758,0.07215699755622106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4957034560161018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09858848971349822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951500451594737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32425257589915824,0.1396208317929066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14132550199092564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460755100118045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12348079858683693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16155588267445006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220986141232008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11725443879507673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10027615631448912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10752473371000952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511163516245348
addiction,uninhibitedcatalysis,2020/02/13,"Life is boring without nicotine. Every time I quit nicotine I feel bored. This lasts for months and months. Eventually I relapse loooong after physical withdrawal resides, mostly because I am bored, unable to focus, or unmotivated towards mundane tasks. It's not even the nicotine that seems to pull me back in, it's the absense of stimulation. Quitting generally comes with loss of interest in my work and an INTENSE addiction to excercise, especially cardio, and dangerous activities like free soloing, mountain biking, etc.. Moreover I am obsessed with productivity, and feel I am more productive when stimulated by nicotine. Any advice on overcoming this? This has been a pattern for years. Snus is my drug of choice, btw. Also have probs with adderall  and caffeine, but that's for a different post.",7.349252525252522,10.055219844444448,7.464511784511785,63.40484848484849,65.37037037037037,9.946127946127948,40.42087542087542,10.230975488527342,5.132925925925926,649,38,88,17,11,209,99,135,0.08800000000000001,0.8370000000000001,0.076,-0.149,1,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,4,4,9,1,1,5,0,8,4,0,2,0,20,12,9,0,0,4,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,7,9,0,0,3,1,1,2,2,6,0,0,1,2,9,4,19,11,3,15,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,3,9,63,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22616012664576396,0.0,0.2027258117666084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659042964911066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14107873163065354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15952259719209896,0.0,0.1264646304406449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787069223731061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2167497276643783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24058571929818576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313708002998139,0.13702422490581428,0.0,0.17479253262247668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20979426052406172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16910617192461372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14653390512173567,0.10135362727760924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3311824095694417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19868766742404875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4413147945557676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188862209365924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209705804132074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19998236058576613,0.0,0.15103208493503778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335963183959856
addiction,nntriplenn,2020/02/13,"Porn addiction I have been struggling with pornography for over a decade now, but I always managed to stay highly functional. 
The last couple of months were horrible, my addiction escalated so quickly I become completely dysfunctional (can’t study, can’t focus, can’t even get out of bed, depression, gained weight, stoped going to the gum). 
I guess when I was highly functional despite of my addiction, I never deeply cared about quitting porn, but now it’s all different. My number one goal in life right now is to stop watching porn. How sad is that for a 21 yo!! 
To everyone who feels that porn addiction is compatible with a normal life and a fully functioning brain, IT’S NOT, or at least for me it wasn’t. So don’t feel too safe guys, quit porn as early as possible.",7.576913793103452,7.464922027586213,7.754612068965518,71.74846982758622,63.206896551724135,11.939655172413795,33.98706896551724,11.45678717892309,4.0007413793103455,614,23,110,17,8,200,98,145,0.15,0.792,0.057999999999999996,-0.9419,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,4,11,5,0,1,6,0,12,13,1,1,2,17,18,10,0,1,4,0,3,0,0,0,6,0,1,1,6,4,1,2,2,0,0,1,7,3,0,1,4,4,10,2,19,14,2,19,0,2,1,5,2,7,0,2,10,72,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5975987552085985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114032731540892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15135585099252627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15298796355526398,0.0,0.0,0.13972689471267494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14368946963185097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15163810220875226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803698177513353,0.0,0.0,0.14318324959080642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09051717852700383,0.0,0.0,0.13095272998581384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385885199996593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07160055276682185,0.0,0.07788604555167929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15097093260440878,0.13569646876025118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895919287055239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11171027287065466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935984043592335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938831185728692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10569784276634857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13427537126557207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286549372932816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15449807030917562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2915292538444961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170360025396346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460721366466106,0.0,0.11457607105554958,0.0,0.14326958302883994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16688434806932573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,RevolutionaryOne9,2020/02/13,"Addicted to forums and chat rooms Hi, I am addicted to sites like reddit and also chat rooms.  I feel like I can connect with people that are very similar to me, with similar interests, fast and easy.  It also just seems easier to communicate then person to person.  I have an anxiety disorder so sometimes it's just hard and uncomfortable to communicate with friends in person.  Also it's very hard to meet intelligent people that know a lot about the topics I enjoy.  It just seems easier online, makes me feel less lonely as well.  Plus I can just listen to music why I chat.

  
This has actually gotten in the way of me working and doing my job properly so I need some advice, thoughts, or similar experiences.",4.623181818181821,6.767500409090911,6.432424242424244,70.31863636363639,71.42424242424242,9.951515151515153,27.15151515151515,10.230975488527342,3.2847333333333326,562,20,93,17,11,194,80,132,0.084,0.731,0.185,0.9396,1,2,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,11,7,0,0,4,0,7,2,0,1,0,24,17,14,0,1,5,0,4,2,1,0,2,1,2,3,7,9,0,0,6,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,5,12,6,17,15,3,8,0,1,0,0,10,5,0,5,4,67,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.14747630213603338,0.3294973420687766,0.0,0.1476777032638873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36256407490365505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11561029145359787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732024628597935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14782935103790304,0.0,0.0,0.15282678748282705,0.10796380499922634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11675888101494528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27075681964433645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14996834743594406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08305440528428756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14766418507233012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128481159737388,0.0,0.0,0.10087718089789333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11205735024132588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095422383577781,0.3958698367905568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2751572389273525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14946659281458996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11997645229970945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493880769699481,0.0,0.11995607382216675,0.0,0.0,0.1358796185274476,0.0,0.1363669009921185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11002087611833407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,earnestpeabody,2020/02/13,"Google Play gambling apps... I contacted Google Play support today asking if it was possible to do a self-exclusion ban from gambling apps for a set period of time or permanently. 

They said this was a ""good idea"" but not currently possible and that I should submit it as an idea through their feedback mechanism. 

This pissed me off, but also gave me a nudge of motivation to push them to put this feature in and I submitted the feedback saying how i thought adding self-exclusion would be in line with their Code of Conduct policy. My plan is to send the feedback once a day and keep at it over time. 

It may sound like a bit of a downer, but I don't have high hopes that they'll make the change. I think there is too much money in it for them and for the app developers. However, I still feel like it's a worthwhile thing to do. I feel like some good will come of the effort even if google do nothing. 

I've created a facebook page to document how things unfold fb.me/GooglePlayGambling If you're interested, I'd appreciate you giving google the feedback, visiting the facebook page, and letting me know how you go with your request for google to be more socially responsible :)

If you want to post anonymously on the FB page, you can send me the text through reddit and I'll post it without any personal details.",7.143648264086508,7.0287672151394425,7.1041348890153655,76.06220119521916,64.0996015936255,10.996129766647696,34.66163915765509,10.608840637214634,3.550585429709732,1045,42,199,24,14,334,145,251,0.05,0.7759999999999999,0.175,0.9837,2,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,5,6,3,9,11,1,0,19,0,18,1,1,5,0,39,34,19,0,8,10,0,2,3,0,5,0,3,0,1,14,9,0,2,8,2,3,7,3,1,0,0,5,5,24,10,31,21,7,25,0,0,0,0,23,8,1,8,10,131,38,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10907132657641892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927501260432929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12750658105415974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489029550990281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14428292272607754,0.11748822365591158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796050290775258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09008455054920113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13792613444887414,0.1948746097356605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308380672871817,0.07751378823064467,0.2287955363487221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14410391024467634,0.0,0.13546640827002646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079362439025307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12123002424041253,0.0,0.0,0.0749565783491926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13946839017305973,0.0,0.1999003307505063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09104162852935507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10026261243620828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13087023484073096,0.0,0.0,0.14525128870666373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190908069471866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3075192897305976,0.2612485380868605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13710998930639134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12973847133907376,0.10846309351343897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845697951675876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390328023005928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089215226326956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15477417126871384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18122339772931104,0.08739343946156085,0.0,0.10827871581379757,0.1590606387110075,0.0,0.12928211945394535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044657173933413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13147544591856022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09688780292015398,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,zpecialflowsnake,2020/02/13,"Is life on drugs really immeasurably better? Hello all

My friend (23) has been heavily addicted to benzodiazepines for over 4 years now. And not only those, he's probably used and mixed every hallucinant drug under the sun. I want to do something because i can't bear to see him in this state but i'm completely incompetent and know nothing of drugs or addiction. I need to say that he's not a really close friend, more someone who i happen to know. I'm trying to stay in touch with him, he basically has no social network and our contact is reduced to online contact (social anxiety got him on xanax in the first place).
 
Now it's not like he hasn't considered quitting himself, he did actually quit for a few times in the past years, never longer than a month though. But the argument he makes is that life is Just incredibly better on drugs for him, je says that all activities in our lives are aimed at making is feel good, and he's doing it in the most effectieve way.  To me he said:

""Drugs prove that happiness, success, motivation etc are all hormone/chemically controller, it's out of your controll. For me drugs are immeasurably better than real life. Without it, I'm eternally bored, soulless, obese and there is no reason to live.""

I don't know what to say, i mean, I don't think it's possible to change someone's will but besides, doesn't he kind of have a point? 

With his current lifestyle, i don't see him reach 25. All mind altering substances combined with alcohol, no social life and depressive thoughts will bring him down quickly. He doesn't care if he dies soon, doesn't care about anything but his drugs tbh.

I however do care, a lot. I am very concerned and I'm not giving up hope yet. I know he's in need of professional help but what can i say, how can i reach out to him? I have to note that I am unable to see him in real life these days, the distance is frustrating me. 

I hope this community can share some thoughts on the matter.

Thank yall for reading",5.017208564631247,5.9177982783505145,5.861958762886598,79.61488104678827,68.79381443298968,9.26819984139572,30.129262490087232,9.466822959209583,2.6009116574147497,1564,59,307,32,26,514,201,388,0.128,0.76,0.11199999999999999,-0.5981,2,0,9,0,0,0,50.0,2,2,0,10,10,20,1,0,12,0,34,17,0,8,6,62,67,17,1,6,13,0,2,1,2,2,17,5,0,0,17,14,2,2,12,1,0,1,17,3,0,1,6,10,35,17,49,59,10,41,0,1,3,0,44,22,0,7,16,190,52,4,0.0,0.0,0.06807222855963488,0.15208964460207774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07454842621246759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05336349006375345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057403611214424666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04252288187072222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18508172269418996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133640363837582,0.0,0.07379307022443636,0.0,0.0731383061925589,0.0,0.15647557082979435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04498713669927182,0.0,0.06008112450574155,0.0,0.07239617756167724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5662673160153444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07779687629025324,0.0,0.0,0.058772814111676876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03527095491575892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05933479711628584,0.0,0.0,0.10778731388972898,0.0,0.0,0.06691673903558581,0.0,0.05850839711943025,0.055790602035513066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06168539459881649,0.07425703361224857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046756275180644784,0.0,0.0,0.13856778043650586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07264060383317658,0.1533452731729482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463552028672424,0.03407947585722616,0.0,0.12319243918175354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059304435658978284,0.0,0.0,0.0931259384060079,0.0,0.0,0.07598521921999257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07043412487587643,0.0,0.05567892947899045,0.0,0.0,0.1034470412796012,0.0538004713076382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693319103484642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05305292033551743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06659042057073213,0.0,0.0,0.07288063890171574,0.0,0.065942388505631,0.07863991147982649,0.0,0.0,0.07520924672692628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483891330825863,0.0697753228307006,0.15879621377643435,0.08937553072128243,0.07172124414632171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635435396960483,0.22189250190314325,0.0,0.0,0.16676056758579386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21332373540448452,0.11820882022439802,0.05370191992671596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07435108977459091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06422236316868321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044697113792084235,0.06853535377243451,0.110757652103137,0.040675544480856425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04736004772804518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06024717221447815,0.0,0.05755637322627925,0.04114415902806562,0.0553694197377344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06724272443438567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984172801077643
addiction,tyler0580,2020/02/13,"Insulin MAT and HIV medication darkweb exchange. I really want to make a website for people to exchange insulin and MAT (medication assisted treatment) meds. To help give excess to people who can’t get them. The user would join and can exchange info encrypted using PGP and the autonomy of the Tor bowser. I honestly don’t need all my suboxone and if I could give it away to some who needs it I would gladly. People with the means could go on and sponsor people without the means. Creating a safe platform for people to be able to find people in need of live saving medication with out fear of the government. Would be great. As I know not everyone can afford to see a doctor every month or even have insurance. This probably against the rules but I just want to get my idea out their. I don’t care what anyone says suboxone naltrexone is not enabling it saves lives period. It’s not a crutch. Also while you can get insulin at Walmart for $25. Some people really can only use the humalog. I would also like this website to extend to HIV medication. Although I would never ask anyone to rash in their HIV medication. Just get ride of extra/expired ones. It would be recommended you donate then before trying sell. The person receiving them can pay for postage, small things like gas  and even be able to tip them using bitcoins or another crypto currency. Selling will also be an option (only open to those who have donated and price will be limited) to weed out scammers only to looking to make money. While you will still be able to make a little money for your troubles it will be encouraged to be more of a donation service. (Receiver only pays for postage). Tried of seeing people die. I feel like if suboxone was given out much more freely like with out having to be in a rehab it would save a lot of people. If anyone has the means to make this happen please messages me thanks.",4.984220354808588,6.683229028011207,5.994117647058825,75.63797385620917,69.64425770308125,8.762278244631185,28.628384687208207,9.250403328903447,2.678472642390289,1501,55,255,31,27,497,184,357,0.047,0.8079999999999999,0.145,0.9861,1,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,4,5,2,8,16,0,1,19,0,37,14,1,7,2,69,69,22,1,17,12,0,1,4,0,11,13,1,0,1,16,17,0,2,8,0,14,4,8,2,0,1,2,5,22,14,51,44,7,26,0,0,3,3,22,15,0,9,11,183,38,5,0.2112337070585999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16892351921812598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383231988571584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14769951940369527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06582500054845322,0.0,0.06615367372332873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05991477553640096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717889474449462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11243528456207556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07307574614180669,0.0,0.0,0.07206888330434527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301191421311147,0.0,0.05932450287731726,0.06728095310537978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07923221563572824,0.03560203638385842,0.05030180084305138,0.0,0.0,0.06435459381009928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14714785811783154,0.13508974642303495,0.04001632786803058,0.0,0.0,0.07762863591753368,0.0,0.0,0.06226442318062979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04719516707531122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07948571460465582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038696173720241187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13759749258954068,0.07057055585289695,0.12434882220910475,0.0,0.059127704453554975,0.0,0.0,0.0598611146507913,0.0,0.0,0.18800018629097626,0.0,0.0,0.2300954322699907,0.07821100977052446,0.35465956158077033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0562015765623524,0.0,0.0517603598499707,0.15662711725136833,0.05430548567618933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047712475558071385,0.21420367036460689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4393285670109589,0.06148037511322287,0.0,0.07729039268620677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591522103015906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902144811266244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055993840717730815,0.0,0.0,0.11221727733697164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056230503772900314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06482520577199495,0.0,0.0,0.046778096300211666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560921423206416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18243810146286332,0.0,0.0,0.08306074219986458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06787391857069185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3501268514410261,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,SecretPhotograph,2020/02/13,"Am I broken? Not exactly sure how to start this so I'll just dive right in. I'm a 19 year old male, currently in college. I've been smoking weed daily for the last 3 year. 
I've tried to kick the habit so many times. Honestly, for the last year or so I've probably tossed my stash once a week, promising myself I'll be a new person the next day, only to cave and text my dealer after a few hours of sobriety. They say it isn't addictive, but I feel so lost and empty without it. The longest I've gone since I started is about a month. I hoped that eventually I'd forget about weed, learn to live without it, but even then I still felt the craving, and eventually I fell right back into my addiction. 
I guess I've been using it as a coping mechanism. I don't exactly like myself; I'm lazy, self absorbed, insecure, etc. It's sort of a self fulfilling prophecy though--i hate myself so I smoke to forget about myself, but I also hate that weed has so much control over me, which just makes me hate myself even more.
Thinking back to before I started smoking, I've realized that I've always abused different outlets to disconnect from the world. During middle school, I'd watch like 8 hours of TV a day, just trying to forget what real life was like. Not that it was terrible or anything--honestly, I had a fine childhood (good parents, good friends). But there has always been this internal voice telling me how shitty I am, so leaving myself behind always seemed like the best solution. High school it was video games, then partying, then smoking with friends, then just smoking by myself. I never really learned how to actually live, bruises and all. I've always taken the easiest route, leaving when things get too tough, and now I'm scared that it may be too late to develop the proper habits.
Another big problem is that, though it has a huge effect on my internal balance, it hasn't really impacted my external self. I get good grades, my parents don't know I've ever smoked. When it comes to most things, I'm a fully functional stoner. 
A few months ago I was really determined to stop smoking so I asked my roommates to help me quit. They were very supportive, and for a few weeks it went fine. Eventually, though, I fell right back into my old habits. I was so ashamed. I'm still ashamed. And I didn't tell them. So that's where I'm at now: still smoking near daily, even though my best friends think I've been sober for months. It feels disgusting. 
I just can't control myself. I don't know how.

How can I fix myself? Am I fixable? It is crazy how such a puny substance can have such a large impact on me. But jesus, I need help.",3.912824933687002,5.271510362068966,4.8886206896551725,83.85306366047746,71.816091954023,8.112466843501327,27.177718832891244,8.617729084823388,1.9242295313881528,2067,72,409,36,39,675,245,522,0.168,0.7140000000000001,0.11699999999999999,-0.983,4,0,2,0,1,0,78.0,0,0,3,7,48,31,4,4,25,0,33,3,0,11,6,67,67,41,0,3,16,2,3,4,3,1,3,2,0,5,27,11,0,3,12,3,0,5,12,12,0,0,17,6,51,19,40,47,10,67,1,1,1,0,20,18,0,8,48,252,78,6,0.0,0.08348773660243979,0.06876222089009235,0.15363125254613827,0.0,0.0,0.062461649739103516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05634964317259328,0.2345251388185314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388713364642757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.065873869605182,0.0,0.0,0.16254626829791535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05995925679033465,0.0,0.14789421215275125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0606980742583521,0.0,0.0,0.15806163530955392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09088626878781007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07361937014270882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858543939608423,0.13962145060886422,0.06373827854891964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07125693529475692,0.0,0.06765601937379141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163319798183386,0.0,0.07362855098801539,0.0,0.0,0.17730434621192093,0.0,0.0,0.07762349995517602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20870438288564014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446041036111726,0.07444856661180921,0.0,0.06998616416882544,0.1387847263337319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07744980419682011,0.11487432993329386,0.07948590800781241,0.14922136508617045,0.0,0.0,0.04977046068688806,0.1376996461727548,0.0,0.12444113986343155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07691924448141678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04703493981882202,0.07143893905335197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687299033145721,0.0,0.051798787194303926,0.052247799531514205,0.05434580254421944,0.06805409666151101,0.0749387418549938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14787920018261227,0.07504133804813724,0.0,0.05359067426122898,0.0,0.0,0.1564827772422838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061526018681989765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07597158115491698,0.06742406238623913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07494661598874527,0.0,0.08020290035487616,0.13542218572090964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805263565873476,0.0,0.056035411035325916,0.07054626557229109,0.1426256671730718,0.0,0.06414733271918555,0.22052642411234347,0.0,0.0,0.0582881432942862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496233043143187,0.0,0.16881674937365893,0.05891064917608499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996115566830772,0.06641102390043352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231764263976888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362564953692808,0.09030034352491824,0.2769201616927961,0.0,0.04108783910265487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956801953498032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060857848368900236,0.0,0.0581397749590474,0.0,0.0,0.11304315422197933,0.0,0.0,0.06532037934664776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13584861752419872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13612856984429264
addiction,terrified4me,2020/02/13,"Need help, withdrawls + chest pain from meth Hello all, this past saturday i went on a meth binge it was my (second time) using that lasted more or less like 5-6 hours. That night I could not sleep for the life of my and i had some chest pains that freaked me out enough I went to the ER. They didn't do much just gave me a small pill i slept for like 2 hours then went home. I have no desire to ever use that drug again in my life but tonight I am feeling those pains again and my palms are sweating like they did heavily the night of the binge. Should I go to the doctor again? Am in sincere danger or is this common?",0.8664768056371128,2.8075459236641223,1.671297709923664,101.02829712272462,82.12977099236642,4.641456253669994,16.18379330593071,5.369823440869387,-0.9982300645918972,480,8,116,2,13,148,88,131,0.115,0.767,0.11800000000000001,-0.3034,0,0,3,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,0,5,9,1,0,7,0,12,14,6,2,2,18,22,6,0,4,5,0,1,3,0,1,8,0,1,0,8,3,0,0,1,0,0,4,3,5,1,1,9,1,16,4,12,11,6,24,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,3,18,75,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12117981278993305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15534791984234164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760105609288507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15682392097232994,0.0,0.0,0.13728897889742234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674188971442414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625710582715336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017314365868538,0.0,0.15224248053812722,0.0,0.2989351736302771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12371670381686856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144060329998662,0.22244847501353987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11157192763800178,0.1125390771546087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28486070136711805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4844972044558439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14488620236343516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518843911670397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850109547868677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621693604118241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4220902283144053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,hikeviews,2020/02/13,"Not being able to sleep without a benzo Is it possible to be addicted to benzodiazepines in a super short period of time? What does it take? 
I had surgery on January 31 and was prescribed 15 0.5mg Xanax. 
I have a bunch of klonopin which is PRN and unrelated to the surgery. Before surgery I would rarely take the klonopins maybe occasionally. 
Since surgery I’ve needed the Xanax in order to sleep (can’t sleep on my side or my stomach and it’s very anxiety inducing). I’m healing well from surgery and am finding nights I try to sleep without taking a Xanax I’m just ....  not. It’s taking hours and hours to fall asleep. 
Am I physically needing it to sleep? What is happening? I still can’t sleep on my side or my stomach so maybe it’s that? But if I were to go take a Xanax I’d fall asleep shortly.",1.7357289002557543,4.083185875776401,3.1283741322616017,89.50185604676653,81.5465838509317,6.521154548776032,25.61965655827549,7.724431198458867,1.4237618560467666,630,26,133,11,17,205,88,161,0.013999999999999999,0.9390000000000001,0.048,0.7155,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,8,0,14,16,10,1,0,19,25,10,0,4,9,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,10,5,0,0,2,0,0,3,6,0,1,0,3,0,11,2,19,19,1,19,0,0,0,0,0,9,0,3,6,78,21,0,0.11433999716648904,0.0,0.0,0.1246474741289368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746978487002938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097294916049962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10005970204403827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10450468596646817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06498205535598445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111048188068676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252037303410017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22973979098781505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695633182042164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10730034173692092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128901166904951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945832272130483,0.0,0.6865354328700148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09131206943615368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42984724040489614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666725718456798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776293526015127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434247231556832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028053891343046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22043935407236293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812238534122898,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,nziime,2020/02/13,"Friend bought coke when he had previous addiction problems So he told me he bought it, and said he wasn’t gonna but again. A few days later he’s going on and out of his room while all my roommates and I were watching a movie. I asked him if he bought it again, but he told me no. He looked coked up at the time too. What should I or can I do?",1.202412280701754,2.210737223684216,2.5473684210526346,99.35991228070179,78.07894736842105,6.119298245614036,19.24561403508772,6.42735559955562,-0.3634491228070171,263,5,69,2,6,85,56,76,0.066,0.905,0.03,-0.3716,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,3,0,6,3,0,0,1,11,16,10,0,3,4,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,1,0,3,4,2,0,0,0,3,1,2,1,0,0,9,3,9,1,5,5,2,13,0,0,2,0,15,5,0,2,7,42,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34619064724230736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2968786256315209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048019247102153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453484591776424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804784249342541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666730191972728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3038649937477784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020752242295507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18517359426545169,0.0,0.0,0.6068902916119556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,xTeeGolden,2020/02/13,"Porn addiction help... I’ve been addicted to porn for as long as I can remember. i’m 25 years old and i watch it and masturbate about 3-6 times a day. Im currently going through a nasty break up and even during the relationship i watched it. It’s not that I’m horny all the time when I do, but it’s almost like an escape. Where for just for a small amount of time i forget all the depression and anxiety. But after im finished I’m back to feeling terrible again sometimes even worse then before therefore i watch it again shortly after. and it’s this terrible cycle that has me feeling depressed and all that jazz. I havent opened up about because im embarrassed about but i know that i need to stop and I want to stop.",2.318890036138356,4.111145194630876,3.84778523489933,87.8901290655653,76.91946308724832,7.537635518843572,25.55549819308209,8.384062270229773,1.642375942178626,570,21,121,11,13,189,87,149,0.242,0.6970000000000001,0.061,-0.985,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,11,6,0,1,7,0,5,4,0,1,3,27,14,14,0,2,5,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,11,8,0,2,4,1,0,1,2,5,0,0,1,5,11,1,18,13,4,26,0,2,3,2,2,6,0,1,19,75,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34691575845743466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15932980930795065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12172186790125415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12234893837559095,0.0,0.09699449199565008,0.0,0.13539439860855246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10261544557940903,0.0,0.27408952044589296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21018675402803608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16090576196863998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042822238269063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066508420699953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5156116680045308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08744496031902928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773512289922158,0.0,0.0,0.1408109910397879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179811054184031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16696350528035608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17082902035049974,0.18024528290864003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15736793530643653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26605306148895397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783421724963249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09384963172646993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16215088393198035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10246427787878223
addiction,mlynnfindinghope,2020/02/13,"Relapse My mom officially relapsed around New Years 2020. At first when she told me I thought, “ well maybe it’s not going to stick around and it would just be one time.” I think everyone who has an addict in the family hopes it would just be one last time , but it obviously wasn’t the last time. She’ll come home smellling like alcohol already and tries to cover up the smell with mints. That almost never works because whenever I smell mints coming off her breath, it’s now trying to hide the smell. Why try and hide it ? Because she’s an addict and she doesn’t wanna admit to anyone she fell off. Here’s a little backstory; In 2014 I think , is when she had weight loss surgery. She had the gastric sleeve operation where they cut out 84% of her stomach. She ended up losing a ton of weight and the drinking wasn’t so bad . That summer of 2015 was so fucking bad . She started partying more and more with friends and now family could see it was a problem . She ended up gaining a lot of weight that summer from drinking so much . She could easily finish at this point ( after surgery remember) 2 full sleeves of fireball , a four pack of wine, beers and more on top of that. That’s exactly what she drank the night before I had to drive her to the hospital. She couldn’t keep anything down, because her liver was the size of a football, and her body didn’t want anything except liquor . Her body ended up turning yellow. She missed my first day of senior year because she was in the hospital because her habit almost killed her. And now she yells at me when I bring it up to her or try and talk to her . She gets so mad because she “ knows what she’s doing “ , she’s “an adult” , she “ knows how much of an asshole she was she was drinking abut swears she would never be as bad again”. She yells at me almost every night, I can’t even talk to her without her getting mad at me or slurring her words . Sometimes it feels like she hates me or resents me when she’s drinking. Before she got sober , we didn’t get a long at all and then she became sober which in turn our relationship got better , but now it’s going down the tubes. I’m almost 23 and I need to get the hell out of my house . I wanna get away from her but I love her so much .... I’m scared she’s going to end up almost dyeing again, getting in a car accident because she was too drunk to drive , or just scared of the fact her heart might just stop beating ... apart of me feels better for expressing how I feel, but apart of me feels like shit . :/",3.47563819728963,4.817226155688624,4.013319151171341,89.77158919004101,72.87225548902195,6.7108099590293095,23.96265364008825,7.0608816371341465,0.7465257485029944,1948,54,410,18,38,614,225,501,0.172,0.742,0.086,-0.9956,0,0,7,0,0,0,54.0,2,0,1,10,28,27,9,2,25,0,30,24,7,2,6,78,70,34,1,12,15,1,7,3,1,5,3,2,1,1,20,22,13,2,11,8,0,10,11,18,1,5,19,16,72,9,64,40,10,82,1,3,2,2,61,34,3,12,41,276,92,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14313330488673434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701583769612515,0.3286878963732385,0.0,0.07244485075890852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045903020051115455,0.0,0.10804639075922412,0.11688232558973766,0.0,0.0,0.0616790106759332,0.0,0.16444148979073073,0.2801313950053813,0.0,0.11172422851106527,0.0,0.0,0.11612168473692212,0.0,0.14584156661614228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310089353400556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10483011337902906,0.0,0.0,0.0423379091325071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572424993783633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23258065837922065,0.0,0.0,0.043360274092505965,0.0,0.05531176789391408,0.06273004039396635,0.0,0.0,0.12377529485283162,0.0,0.13277559709767678,0.09379873064020416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168131306057168,0.0,0.0,0.050719937252355005,0.060691062969599724,0.2057920702124936,0.0,0.11192881853121556,0.0,0.10501034796756256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06481439067396526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07779389441770125,0.0,0.0,0.06585088773648583,0.06520386189535975,0.0,0.0757496579151437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05835148254899125,0.07263043742354333,0.0,0.07215749565142747,0.10702472457590312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621775409525443,0.06579713299160903,0.0,0.058096935698509336,0.0,0.07344397917881643,0.0,0.05581208301538956,0.05925041494411189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06595283173178977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06964277889711343,0.0,0.07688683436811901,0.0,0.0,0.14477780029851886,0.04867759714293352,0.10126447836568853,0.06340381663762068,0.0,0.12321350781961883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897036623027951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06205913639702872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06281683393379549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048201661998102,0.07436705426030255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13145138077614515,0.0,0.0523134261283695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06738733353089255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06492813345743634,0.0,0.0464664094048841,0.0,0.0,0.054885160212201696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10553169872564112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08412993051167998,0.0,0.05211764689336576,0.11484066107547752,0.0,0.0,0.06273004039396635,0.0,0.17828433141899716,0.1428136274040888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038721238871196266,0.0,0.0,0.2398268878390763,0.059025965868103124,0.0,0.059237640867190515,0.0,0.0,0.06328289741923758,0.0,0.047792954888431535,0.0,0.0,0.13990462288683192,0.0,0.0,0.08455107828387842
addiction,klf052494,2020/02/13,"Pain - Xanax Addiction I wrote this poem going through Benzo withdrawals. I hope reaches the people who still suffer.  


**Pain**

”Take a piece” she said to me,  
“I promise I’m your friend “  
Calmness, peace, and happiness, no doubt a true godsend  
“Anxiety’s my middle name,”  
“I don’t know who I am”

Life has been so hard for me  
And this shit is my jam  
She said she’d never leave me  
But she wanted me to die  
I had a life, my future bright  
My head stuck in the sky

Her blanket sewn by satan’s hands  
Stayed draped around me tight  
She held me close  
And whispered soft  
(Stay here you’ll be alright)

They taste so good I couldn’t stop  
It’s one it’s two it’s three  
False confidence and slurring words  
Why can’t she leave me be?  
She took my pep she took my step  
Is this what they call death?  
I’ll have you know there was a time  
She even took my breath  
I ran to him and told him  
Knowing he won’t understand  
I hurt him worse than she hurt me  
And that was not my plan

He’s crying in his room alone  
It’s taken an extreme  
The man I loved so deeply  
Felt like nothing but a dream

I wish he knew the pain I felt  
When looking in his eyes  
See that’s the thing that stupid bitch  
She taught me how to lie

But what went wrong?  
I asked myself  
How did I get so lost?  
I never loved myself enough  
And now I pay the cost

That precious brown haired little girl  
Her big eyes filled with tears  
What’s wrong with me?  
She thought all day  
So different from her peers

Why do I care, why do I feel  
This shit is way too much  
They’re mean to me, I’m way too fat  
I couldn't eat my lunch

My tears turned into anger  
And my anger soon to rage  
I’m done with Xans, I swear I am  
It’s time to turn the page

Since then I’ve told them everything  
Thank God for honesty  
Her knife’s no longer in my back  
(She left me there to bleed)

But hear me out, I lost control  
I didn’t have a choice  
She said she’d be my closest friend  
Then robbed me of my voice

I kicked her to the curb  
And while her damage is still done  
I’m strong without her now, you see  
I know she’s not the one",-1.686694041481836,0.1185869817767653,-0.19327328857450965,106.73650416616717,105.15034168564921,2.9483395276345763,11.926657475122886,4.862852736877891,-1.7526624145785878,1571,27,396,7,76,489,228,439,0.209,0.66,0.132,-0.9904,1,1,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,4,3,5,21,36,7,1,16,1,30,22,9,3,4,54,79,24,2,5,7,0,8,1,2,2,9,6,2,2,19,16,4,5,11,1,2,8,13,19,0,4,29,22,90,17,27,41,5,44,1,6,7,2,56,15,3,2,18,229,109,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904927670020688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08597295902584659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350215210760618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07389618415240233,0.0776028136842296,0.0,0.0,0.06382929401998487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476212976765761,0.0,0.08463386656649287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310237662573148,0.0,0.0,0.09118219847779653,0.05353435455870355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615090718464022,0.08672741253818109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698953767174522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08493959140603885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577115436390527,0.0,0.05482708840830575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07460371747877853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04197217126100959,0.0,0.15940455593542194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12826609342302114,0.0,0.04336911402357696,0.0,0.04717629487270537,0.06962455283587114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883653118990351,0.07436033820625433,0.0,0.08519184524714386,0.0,0.09355790418347004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244730863723276,0.0,0.0,0.1777270861285099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18247972256644504,0.0,0.0,0.1757904592806484,0.09019022343947816,0.0,0.117264335944188,0.04055432013625028,0.08319747287223637,0.0,0.0,0.06970719626364275,0.0,0.1812296691844417,0.0,0.14983889315086554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042183978358734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06102164114239937,0.0,0.1280443130071481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964999427631736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11249896909369274,0.0,0.2649843483992144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0575484367605138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368835475572759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13229588139421844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17041641781211825,0.0686664371043771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17695447605063408,0.13258322130804115,0.06939978111850753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06241292323694566,0.0,0.0,0.07642412948956945,0.0,0.0,0.05514792041689665,0.0,0.0,0.06590038678628382,0.09680718444753704,0.0,0.0,0.15863854841872432,0.2766803136255657,0.0,0.1805813164116528,0.081088362528301,0.08641596914850203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04896124001294355,0.1317783866870341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07695077363152729,0.2247098830138332,0.0,0.09545699643694976,0.08001833669538408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08459392115297397,0.0,0.1815160340142198,0.0,0.0
addiction,MariaPapaverina,2020/02/13,"I wrote a piece of software that allows the user to plug in a starting dose, which then outputs an entire taper plan based on the Ashton Manual. I put it together very quickly for a friend’s specific needs, but can easily modify it to accept different benzos, including RCs. Would this be of any interest to folks here? If I receive enough affirmative responses, I will happily polish it for everyone’s use.",8.480600000000003,8.257358093333337,9.501166666666666,60.339750000000016,61.4,13.9,37.41666666666667,13.023866798666859,5.5970666666666675,327,14,50,12,4,113,62,75,0.0,0.8009999999999999,0.19899999999999998,0.9468,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,6,0,4,1,0,2,0,8,8,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,3,9,4,2,7,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,3,36,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.238580979120046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3665496680644572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3625080841395313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33523949097127226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710555555167443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26014095934603115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3526877740369755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24832401411388835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030102549844588,0.0,0.2894770108908857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.249224317762013,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,kbc10213,2020/02/14,"How do I provide support? I recently found out my boyfriend (sober for 3 years off heroin) thinks he’s about to relapse. He confessed to me he snorted an Oxy a few days ago, and now I’ve been finding him snorting Xanax that he used to just take by mouth... This all happened so quickly within a span of a few days... He’s at work right now and I’ve been crying off and on because I’m not sure how to process all this. I’ve never been really around an addict before and I need advice on how I can be there to support him without hurting myself in the process... I don’t want to be that person who thinks I could magically fix him because I know that isn’t how it works. I need to figure out how to react to if he does relapse, or how to not freak out currently because of his current behaviors... I’m the only person he has and I’m not going anywhere, how do I support him?",2.5558782201405137,3.7200542404371575,4.145015612802498,88.62651639344263,74.90163934426229,6.321467603434818,27.27907884465261,6.5431188927421005,1.0909800156128031,678,26,145,5,14,227,103,183,0.03,0.8859999999999999,0.084,0.8106,2,0,2,0,0,1,22.0,0,0,0,2,15,6,0,0,7,0,12,3,1,9,4,40,29,15,0,5,7,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,7,9,0,0,7,0,0,1,7,2,0,0,4,2,17,4,27,22,4,25,1,1,0,0,16,13,0,2,11,98,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16354080721808925,0.0,0.1465949961735863,0.1329811278527301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13354704477479587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743471369627631,0.0,0.12765352222514972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11977646555661375,0.0,0.1647867651415495,0.19349726720655192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13128099511552527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13711293245581715,0.0,0.0,0.16448603197955014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08525818803688984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13265964625863808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605964326922996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824454874077592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224715914019285,0.1157024533706432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11409478192480398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26197833040893914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961048102778194,0.0,0.14812381057088006,0.0,0.0,0.12811380319712412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5107129595324663,0.14138936286541026,0.0,0.11279420648920355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922498297369651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12956662766017651,0.0,0.0,0.08848398584090532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14461115301196165,0.0,0.2184285041968934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09660610858281717
addiction,LHiggensBPLB,2020/02/14,"Break up letter with addiction Anyone else write a ""Break up"" letter for their addiction. Stumbled upon an article about it ([https://www.banyanheartland.com/2020/02/03/breaking-up-with-addiction-writing-a-goodbye-letter-to-addiction-2/](https://www.banyanheartland.com/2020/02/03/breaking-up-with-addiction-writing-a-goodbye-letter-to-addiction-2/)) and wanted to see if this was effective for anyone else.",39.20090909090909,47.79709772727274,18.735909090909093,-9.876136363636334,-4.030303030303031,12.660606060606062,34.68181818181819,12.161744961471696,5.09289090909091,367,6,21,5,2,78,26,33,0.0,0.909,0.091,0.4767,0,0,0,0,0,0,50.0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,1,0,6,3,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,8,2,0,5,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,1,0,16,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5689944734762595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3649544003140712,0.5347918720067091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43601606644465024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20796033724789328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15392763369293758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,DetecJack,2020/02/14,"My phone is taken over my life I just really hate how i spent 24 hours on my phone and im constantly on guilt trip because of that

Every action i have wasted is because i used them all on phone, reddit and youtube were the most i use for

Idk i just really hate it that i want to post my expression here",2.315846153846156,3.452551969230768,4.003076923076922,89.51692307692308,75.46153846153847,7.661538461538463,20.69230769230769,8.238735603445708,0.7704461538461533,238,5,54,4,5,80,44,65,0.222,0.758,0.019,-0.9279999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,1,0,4,3,2,1,1,0,4,1,0,3,1,10,11,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,3,0,12,0,7,8,2,9,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,2,35,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30682457806487884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27195982278498604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120381203974421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4969330070798638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478387508214229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718407496237234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17775801603388713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24102493919314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3224453317422385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4347144967857135,0.0,0.0,0.14843818996087835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,PretendPrinciple1,2020/02/14,"Fucked up my lungs while I was an addict. How to get them checked/recovered? I was a polydrug user for 3 years. Smoked all kinds of shit through my lungs, even swallowed smoke into my digestive system to get high. I would smoke anything I could get my hands on...

Anyway, I'm recovered now, but I'm very worried about my lungs and my throat. I've probably put so many carcinogens through my body that it feels like I'm just waiting to get a cancer diagnosis. What can I do now to help prevent this?

Thanks in advance",2.984313725490196,4.992666450980393,3.6378431372549014,89.16696078431373,75.66666666666666,6.886274509803924,27.01960784313725,7.793537801064563,1.5317960784313724,406,16,83,6,9,128,72,102,0.13699999999999998,0.753,0.11,-0.5993,1,0,4,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,1,8,5,2,0,3,0,6,12,7,1,1,11,17,5,0,2,2,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,2,2,2,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,2,13,3,13,13,1,12,0,0,0,1,2,5,2,0,5,50,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.239125036120868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180507234940702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436495818538259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17513397506018374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14487930837321406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11091048822311646,0.15670444324736033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20278652318276005,0.4584075081793353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14702639381795465,0.23175644128592005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284203774806205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10716384953966973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223875493879605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23649754573696755,0.0,0.0,0.22050840350165804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22516071402690166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019489880807976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809875992902696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22276165204717588,0.0,0.15582070167742718,0.0,0.0,0.14125489287549176
addiction,G59WHORE,2020/02/14,"I relapsed after almost a year. I relapsed last night. I was 10 months in. And I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t go to work today. 

Oh how I fucking miss being fucked up. I really miss it. For some reason dealing with the awful paranoia and hallucinations doesn’t seem too bad right now. I got my life on a good track but idk. Fuck it.",-0.7048571428571435,1.4758968000000008,1.805714285714288,94.58428571428574,95.28571428571428,3.9428571428571435,15.571428571428573,5.6839178017228535,-0.7027428571428573,256,6,57,2,10,87,55,70,0.263,0.708,0.028999999999999998,-0.9165,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,4,7,3,0,3,1,6,4,0,2,0,11,14,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,3,0,9,1,7,9,1,12,0,2,0,3,1,4,3,3,7,36,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22577566884259725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18825805955860456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23244970353517266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6253302366435366,0.0,0.0,0.12813981564013774,0.1891135662198292,0.18032898236727296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18378816987514315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592561521585823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17996802912888954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115883520915222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14444187654799506,0.2318207457734236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19255017612540892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20525944986450906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21371922764375315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16414486926599012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451953088442026
addiction,Elmer_adkins,2020/02/14,"Hi. I would really like to get of Methadone. I have big plans that can’t be achieved while on it. I am in Australia. I need a good doc to help me but all the docs that prescribe won’t help. They think if I get off I will turn or smack. I know I won’t. But what’s the harm in trying. Can anyone recommend anything ? 
Even if it’s tips on tapering off?",-1.2479220779220768,0.7452663506493522,0.8987142857142878,102.33378571428574,93.28571428571428,4.638441558441558,16.790909090909093,6.2581,-0.5848327272727271,267,7,69,3,10,88,55,77,0.064,0.764,0.172,0.7275,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,2,1,3,0,0,3,0,9,0,0,0,1,10,15,6,0,4,5,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,10,2,9,10,1,8,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,3,2,44,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.229841184891468,0.0,0.2704997454164584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21710939200825455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34347408374029426,0.0,0.0,0.2757057646846087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4406538287545277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18065003436437327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16059075985431295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437337803164763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21057959416752406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106236462449436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231720371301024,0.35754132630764396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335056550403888,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,GirlStonerx0,2020/02/14,"Slowly ruining my life At the age of 14 I smoked my first joint. My mom was sick at the time and my parents divorced. To me smoking weed was a good coping mechanism. Weed is legal here and I thought it was a pretty innocent drug.

 I'm an 18 year old girl and I can't stop smoking weed.. It has become a major problem in my life, all the money I have, I spent on weed. First thing I do when I wake up in the morning is smoke, I skip classes at school to smoke and I can't sleep without smoking first. I'm close to failing this school year because I keep forgetting things.

It has become an incredible burden in my life that I can't seem to get rid off. Everywhere around me are triggers to smoking which makes it so hard to quit.

I live with my dad and brothers. My dad is the only one who doesn't know I smoke weed. 

Can someone give me advice on how to quit effectively?",1.7776648351648348,3.4698698846153846,3.3693269230769265,91.16629807692308,78.17582417582419,6.088461538461537,24.012362637362642,6.9077264865688965,0.7331087912087915,677,23,149,7,16,224,105,182,0.09,0.8270000000000001,0.083,-0.3134,1,0,5,0,1,0,17.0,0,0,0,7,5,5,0,0,10,0,16,7,2,4,1,21,26,8,0,1,1,5,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,10,8,0,2,4,0,2,0,5,4,0,4,5,1,24,1,21,21,2,22,0,2,0,0,9,12,0,1,10,95,34,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14068186960085868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12816022667200053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877603127778031,0.3179981832732883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16695480706276322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3673721152788106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07521627195745757,0.13810526684639066,0.0,0.1207518165617194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12896522207784875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796355980074042,0.0,0.0,0.07911992640556081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050622447057744,0.0,0.0,0.1271245799769633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960983960010572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16861119200003094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510680570040984,0.0,0.0975550601481587,0.10949259969199268,0.0,0.0,0.15985716100306924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14646513769233085,0.0,0.1377559803871578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3062510384819702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29140247434584904,0.0,0.1310612027102675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440699301753197,0.0,0.12198189045050338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12036198866225215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19128917310648846,0.0,0.0,0.11429289083295753,0.08394770883356345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387780476952204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18541871585031736
addiction,lukusrtds,2020/02/14,"alcohol addiction im a 16m i have a bad alcohol addiction thats been going on for about 3 years now my addiction has taken me to the hospital many times and even time in jail im so young to have an addiction like this my body hurts and cant handle it have stomach pains and i just feel like i cant stay sober much longer ive been sober for 1 month now and i crave it so bad i cant take it anymore. 

any advice someone can give me to help me stay sober",-0.7411764705882362,1.2401724313725495,1.9544117647058847,96.1898529411765,89.39215686274511,6.1450980392156875,18.303921568627448,7.492282038375204,0.3245333333333331,356,10,88,7,12,123,63,102,0.131,0.7909999999999999,0.078,-0.7351,0,0,2,0,0,1,1.0,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,4,0,11,9,2,0,0,6,16,6,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,7,0,0,0,5,4,2,0,1,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,3,1,11,2,8,13,1,12,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,9,49,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6129589456474754,0.0,0.13736130422165682,0.0,0.30044862587737603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955909778130957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394055639825528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23473661442757665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15613922450709056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284375817270488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107534307713106,0.10042172065018064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13484551795993738,0.07988796486924417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09421968606776436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15048082147250366,0.0,0.3036748611909975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373487303775221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14251376602936375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11219993970502007,0.0,0.10333356481261263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14957413373910178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11910270748635356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2996533111456257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10568955091521412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639325210066414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905211052019916
addiction,hockey-guy99,2020/02/14,"Tonight I failed I would have been 2 weeks clean and things were looking up.  I just got back from a great family vacation and I am ready to move on with my life, sober.  My week started off good, I was ready to accept my addiction and do something about it.  I was positive and I’ve even been dreaming about doing my DOC which tells me I know the end is near.   And then today happened ..... I should have known better I should have prepared myself because out of nowhere my addiction monster arrived and kicked my ass, again.  I wasn’t drunk when it happened, I wasn’t high, I was just going about my day job and boom it hit me like a tonne of bricks.  I don’t know where to go from here, I know I’m a strong person but I’m loosing this battle.",2.7207675438596475,4.106215506578952,3.401315789473685,93.23754385964916,74.85526315789474,6.382456140350878,23.85087719298245,6.816661863887847,0.5762877192982447,575,17,128,5,12,181,95,152,0.069,0.784,0.146,0.7311,1,0,1,0,1,0,18.0,0,0,0,3,11,8,1,0,4,0,19,5,1,0,0,20,32,10,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,3,3,1,1,1,6,9,1,0,5,2,0,3,3,2,0,0,9,2,24,6,16,19,0,21,0,1,1,1,2,7,1,0,12,86,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3952262018198719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13938688293057588,0.0,0.11050165273363416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603202428806345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11690536337910325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16055307725327303,0.0,0.0,0.11972836407998012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708869913348631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060419683934229,0.152042248692093,0.1449796782511425,0.19985288256451147,0.0,0.0,0.3205962414973941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915236888671627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17988436561633706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2988668461374015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12803768643490415,0.0885602819199402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15222272084000954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19266331592601946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582796096092398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395519458185445,0.0,0.0,0.12830516640297018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15843960897306128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12042897928039012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17182454230661326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908107285753815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12877033933357876,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,InTeLoVoNoReNoCu,2020/02/14,"7 weeks clean tomorrow Seven weeks clean off a three year coke addiction. 

Finally feel like I have some control of my life which has allowed me to fight off other demons. Sadly, one of my older brothers likes to joke that he thinks I'm still on coke. I dont know why but he did it today and it really cut deep. Maybe I'm just being a little bitch but it hurts. 

I don't seek gratification or even bring it up but to hear him joke about something that broke me for years just really feels like shit. 

I hope every one out there is staying strong and fighting whatever it is that holds you back. peace and love to you all.",2.53917748917749,4.388935746031748,3.48679653679654,90.46577922077923,76.46031746031747,6.8040404040404034,20.184704184704184,7.686295010490155,0.522501587301587,488,11,105,7,11,156,90,126,0.193,0.595,0.212,0.2797,1,0,1,0,3,0,9.0,0,2,0,2,7,16,5,0,2,0,8,6,1,2,1,20,18,7,0,1,6,1,2,3,0,0,2,1,2,0,10,4,2,2,4,2,0,1,2,8,0,4,1,3,11,8,13,16,2,19,1,3,0,1,10,7,2,3,13,63,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919464893062642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13538992460859695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974817980642608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20635724445026835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11629511935045453,0.0,0.14834981520144758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17805646106341042,0.25157439160673994,0.0,0.19288029959928465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984480290503038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17488106475189416,0.0,0.0,0.18849070134091284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676558490970184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12436616953486836,0.2580623723057652,0.17647225702153455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15891352676389905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17688985132763618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23862439931375484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255948377908164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18073727991120989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355502542715314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18767129998451765,0.14061280649320948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11282101548675676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668974249204335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2824716486184887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588792658457832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267715771181598
addiction,Babymesser2,2020/02/14,"You know what’s scary? The good times He’s been sober for a week and a half from meth. This is when life gets a little better and a little less hard. He starts to help, he bathed the baby tonight, he watched family guy with the us. He was here with us, he was almost himself

But it’s like a ticking time bomb. I am on edge. I’m gonna hear his truck start up and I’ll know where he’s going. He won’t say good bye but he’ll call me from the road to ask what we need from the grocery. Toilet paper, I’ll say. But he won’t come back for hours. If I’m lucky, he might come back tonight. But then again, if I’m lucky- he will just stay away. I don’t really want him here if he’s high. 

But that story hasn’t happened yet. I haven’t heard his truck start up after dinner. He’s stayed home. With us. But I can’t kid myself, this is a pattern. I will hear his truck start up one night and I’ll know where he’s headed. It didn’t happen tonight but it’s inevitable. It’s hard to be happy in the good times because I’m just waiting....waiting for the cycle to start again. It sucks feeling scared in the good times",-0.8465432098765433,1.1864161769547366,0.874349794238686,103.22090740740744,90.93415637860079,3.5692181069958853,13.861316872427983,4.604124745555138,-1.4939310288065846,853,14,214,2,30,274,124,243,0.048,0.8009999999999999,0.151,0.9645,0,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,4,1,0,1,12,11,1,1,14,0,17,3,1,0,0,32,45,16,0,5,12,0,3,1,0,7,1,5,2,2,10,10,1,0,4,1,0,3,7,2,0,2,5,9,17,9,21,32,1,41,0,0,1,0,36,13,1,7,25,109,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10419090155447218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727257035372848,0.0,0.0977582655190924,0.1600158344374453,0.0,0.06342782691286711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092023642764635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10624653720296598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792594767551633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09808894473439113,0.0,0.052610733916146485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0543617556471998,0.0,0.05913393141524762,0.34908833288607816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030257168678013,0.1840218893705563,0.11076300729898443,0.18641646832877268,0.0,0.1067851713996653,0.0,0.2345435013185198,0.0,0.06974242569599272,0.10993438637938724,0.10437049001700656,0.0,0.10246814964137853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17154924037645344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734934909353185,0.05083350424190479,0.2085705826633358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11038045513865484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715165036178348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09764374201991706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07050687575850098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06665700257651487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16548924467024329,0.10417205824103702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3682351207113281,0.22180660602181804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426892328475732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3754774990118981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061371301344099176,0.0,0.08346251888624329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,timothycho5,2020/02/14,"Need advice, sober but life feels dull I used to smoke weed 24/7, and try other stuff (not much). Quit and got alot of paranoia, anxiety, etc. Now im almost 4 years sober, I dont drink anymore, and dont smoke cigarettes. Relapsed to porn/masturbation recently(trying to quit that, hopefully so it will make me live happier ya know) Now im thinking, ""Ive been sober for a long time, but why don't I feel happy in life"" Everything feels dull, even playing instruments, listening to music feels dull. Anybody gets what Im talking about? If so, a short summary of advice would be nice.",3.42675675675676,5.635767216216216,4.259720720720721,84.29282432432434,75.03603603603604,8.043603603603604,26.41531531531532,8.841846274778883,2.118127207207208,455,17,88,10,10,146,80,111,0.16,0.7240000000000001,0.11699999999999999,-0.6306,0,0,4,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,2,6,7,0,0,3,0,8,3,0,2,0,20,21,8,0,4,4,0,4,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,5,3,1,0,6,2,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,5,6,4,9,16,3,7,0,3,0,0,3,2,0,4,5,44,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766439407077387,0.0,0.0,0.1417428501967658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10828610517101173,0.0,0.1403805270896584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3317933669719933,0.13866606230392098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15786674967994035,0.09349308117214232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12721688523825356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2862896957396823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739545399087056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132112422248624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506836404781003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14059205299104946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4586980159903061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07779271163882448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999632735807742,0.0,0.0,0.12499210049390955,0.125268154752099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448637212759572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405625055441428,0.10495825121492228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3011137624622968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16204199571970734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377330842214023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09070014646995288,0.0,0.0,0.08253950935892697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19220763496001803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12225459052394967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277277342441812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10055374831511343,0.0,0.0,0.09115418422312314
addiction,kenziierae_,2020/02/14,"Who is Responsible for the Opioid Epidemic? [https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/DDJXXRB](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/DDJXXRB)

Please help with my research study- ""Who is Responsible for the Opioid Epidemic""?",22.441428571428567,30.371164571428572,14.673333333333336,2.330000000000041,46.14285714285714,12.323809523809526,35.57142857142857,10.504223727775694,6.583971428571433,180,6,13,5,3,49,14,21,0.0,0.631,0.369,0.8385,0,0,2,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,10,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.521145663467226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8534677483357558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,FacelessOnes,2020/02/15,"Addiction to gaming. I need help. Hi fellow redditors,

Not sure how much of a problem it is for gamers these days, but I am absolutely positively addicted to gaming. Not sure if I am posting this in the right subreddit either. 

I’ve been a gamer since I was 4 and played games all through out my life. It doesn’t help that I am In the gaming industry and also that my wife is a semi professional gamer. My parents play games, everyone that I know play games. Gaming is all around me. 

I play games at LEAST 4 hours a day and it’s been getting worse the past year. 

I have a kid that I should be educating or be playing with, but sometimes I just want to play games. Of course, I don’t deny my child if she asks me to play, but I have free time, I play games.

Sex? Don’t give a shit. Food? Dont have a desire to eat. 

I feel so embarrassed to ask for help since I don’t know anyone who is going though this and embarrassed to tell my family since I am supposed to be a father and be always strong. 

Please help!",1.3729904306220106,3.3118188708134007,3.164925837320574,90.98423086124399,80.38755980861244,6.668038277511961,20.019377990430623,7.734863291789972,0.5789385645933014,780,20,175,13,20,260,113,209,0.126,0.638,0.23600000000000002,0.9773,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,1,6,16,1,2,11,0,24,7,1,1,4,31,34,15,0,7,10,3,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,11,8,2,0,3,18,1,1,7,4,0,0,3,1,24,13,19,26,5,14,0,0,0,1,27,6,1,3,6,112,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30101391188139626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11040739591320528,0.1148778785245739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653551731856252,0.0,0.0,0.12290363197930584,0.2581369461225456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17807595037283602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16180655770663693,0.0,0.0,0.14127095197649694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13192327855776256,0.0,0.0,0.13015169924081446,0.0,0.06980783039346987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669440061314802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721312161156967,0.1324407683386291,0.07846329346619853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3701577272786038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13596235365769585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517495180788918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09751662385880876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10149077941929027,0.10237054156316844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533004910755998,0.0,0.13179492293684825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15154960703679454,0.0,0.0,0.13222435117305192,0.0,0.0,0.1321058081442252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11790340809233847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14171771477953435,0.3426166565435093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13654593847774452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260241868304951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067146933663135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13564431026972154,0.0,0.08050452609132508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08143200210975507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14069603555752114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08890680910414453
addiction,LoveIsOurNeed,2020/02/15,"Sober? Can you give up alcohol, continue to smoke weed, and still call yourself sober?",3.671999999999997,6.909549866666668,3.068333333333332,86.4225,83.66666666666666,8.333333333333334,27.5,8.841846274778883,2.9370000000000007,68,3,12,2,2,20,14,15,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,6,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5524039450889804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5278079579507712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4958531321693453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4127933045627283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,GlisteningConspiracy,2020/02/15,"Not sure where to go next My partner is addicted to coke, and without going into a whole history of his life, he started smoking weed as teenager to cope mentally with an abusive and broken childhood. We've been together since teenagers and are now in our 30's with 2 kids and a house. Its only in the last few years that the addiction has escalated into an issue. He's always used something weed/coke/alcohol/pills etc but its always been in a way that can be explained as casual. Although, I believe the addiction has always been there. I've been supporting him about 4 years, with him only admitting and trying to deal with the addiction properly the last 2 years.

I'm someone who copes quite well with stress and can generally keep my cool, but the selfish behaviour has really driven me to a place where i'm just lost as to what I can do. He's very open about his issues and has made steps to get better e.g. couselling/drug support groups/anti depressants (spent about 6 months sober last year), but this swings so widly. I really struggle with certain decisions that are made that put him straight on the route to getting drugs. Plus money is a massive issue, He knows he can't be trusted with it so I manage it and often have to lie to him about whether or not we have money. But then obviously theres only so much of that I can do, as it becomes obvious we have money when we go to buy food/petrol etc.

We've sat down and discussed boundaries before but at the moment he's in such a bad place, none of that is being met. So much money has been spent that we are way into an overdraft and can't really afford even the essentials until we get paid. It may be hard to believe but despite the money and addiction issue we actually have a really great relationship and when he's out of actively using he's a completely different person.

I'm not really sure what I'm looking for, other than maybe some words of support, perhaps if you have any hope for me/or you think I'm clearly blinded by the situation. I don't want to just give up on him, so much of what he went through as a child is really quite unbelievable and he's always sort of been abandoned. The problem is its affecting me significantly now. I have recently developed quite high anxiety and panic attacks. I'm not sleeping and over the last few weeks have come out with a stress rash and have a constant twitchy eye!

I don't really confide in anyone close to me with the details, as they don't truely understand addiction and would automatically pit him as the bad guy and suggest breaking up with him as the only option. I get that may be the case, I'm just hoping someone can give me some unjudgemental options as to what I should be doing.

Thanks if you've made it this far, apologies for the rather long rant and appreciate any comments/advice shared!",7.001422543701025,6.5813396817359875,7.474587703435809,74.30527516576252,64.47920433996383,10.628306208559374,33.98487040385775,10.125756701596842,3.309223315250152,2256,86,421,45,30,744,263,553,0.12300000000000001,0.772,0.105,-0.8649,2,0,4,0,0,0,49.0,7,2,1,6,25,28,1,4,32,1,50,13,3,6,6,99,95,49,0,9,19,0,1,0,1,4,9,0,0,5,24,44,1,2,6,1,9,8,11,12,1,0,17,5,35,16,71,68,11,60,0,3,3,0,46,26,0,13,23,279,59,1,0.0,0.07346016988731181,0.060503310234277324,0.4055366106922349,0.0,0.060585936627423786,0.0,0.06625942258756352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20635673263600293,0.0,0.0,0.08432460592529215,0.0,0.047430029291351414,0.0,0.0,0.04335202345533287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705342465372309,0.0,0.0,0.10353525489897704,0.0,0.06847441619198437,0.0527576548291072,0.13970612345030298,0.0,0.0548341916804392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053407734217110266,0.06500609313387362,0.06700025519622581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06391954576375998,0.05340073319342816,0.0,0.0,0.06477707574506504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14380123592395874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13829335812983798,0.04095058707237069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07497096064297483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295703077900461,0.11895259806836975,0.10570852987210023,0.0,0.0,0.06835550566493351,0.0,0.061390005188044265,0.0,0.0,0.05554005497736497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06550667886965487,0.0,0.12316049563267162,0.0,0.07153997586681557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25884865357740594,0.0,0.055108679936536,0.0,0.0,0.034073721516311745,0.20215394825649804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043792617289875435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054868279173791314,0.052064603338168515,0.0,0.06768060792108503,0.0,0.0,0.1759984356937595,0.0,0.0,0.06228759469416858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062481679586424275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049488016112600106,0.0,0.1367319750936599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.065937980017635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18861596664679128,0.0,0.07274394655115883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05413623567723848,0.12955415149013008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05932587561897198,0.0,0.0623273860096201,0.0,0.19783472520866452,0.0,0.0,0.2780326796919808,0.0,0.061217777103614764,0.06656507642168367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051287255866140094,0.06969089008648334,0.06204503596862927,0.0,0.10506523840627777,0.0477308293007624,0.0,0.0,0.043884103228120495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14204217698606347,0.0648161335794892,0.0,0.0,0.21107148135123888,0.11686902284457434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05708150952292119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039727263225562505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04209410681905061,0.0,0.0,0.06454445734388008,0.0,0.1070966362747227,0.0,0.05115670779338013,0.03656935979145573,0.09842584122096887,0.049732868872034534,0.0,0.055745679781814335,0.05747486228735745,0.0,0.06922107626956309,0.0,0.059766038273413015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04404320591648489,0.0,0.0,0.15970453904142684
addiction,kamundola,2020/02/15,"How can I help my boyfriend continue to be sober with upcoming work + college stress? My boyfriend (23m) is going to be 2 years sober on june 16. This is the longest he has been sober and hasn’t relapsed in over 8 years. He was mainly addicted to meth but also used coke and is still triggered by weed (he last smoked this past august). 

Anyhow, since he has been sober he has accomplished so much and I’m beyond proud of him. For the first year that he was sober I would give him a little gift on the sobriety date each month and for his one year sobriety and I got all of his friends and family to make a video saying how proud they are of him and the compilation lasted about 45 minutes and he loved it.

He says he doesn’t follow the date of his sobriety (so I kind of feel like it matters more to me than him?) but anyway he’s going to start a new job soon where he’s going to be working a graveyard shift 12am-8am 5 days a week and then has one school from 9am-12pm and then the other 4 days a week 6pm-11pm. 

While I’m thrilled he will finally have a job in a field he enjoys, I am nervous about this schedule affecting his sobriety. When he worked in fast food he used to help him power through graveyard shifts and I’m terrified he will feel tempted to start using again.

How can I help him prevent doing this? Vitamins/supplements? I really have no clue and I really hope he doesn’t start using again :/ any help is greatly appreciated",3.602811621368321,4.956413450171824,4.328773820681036,87.58663776944704,72.57388316151203,7.765135895032802,25.94204935957513,8.296473431620573,1.4969436426116831,1138,37,239,18,22,364,158,291,0.069,0.7390000000000001,0.192,0.9915,3,0,2,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,1,8,16,12,0,2,14,0,28,4,0,10,1,34,49,24,0,2,2,0,2,1,1,3,1,2,0,0,8,14,2,1,2,1,0,4,4,2,0,3,5,4,22,10,30,38,5,46,0,0,0,1,37,9,0,2,34,141,30,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12342264016252492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09053915290430893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07699106728883552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460304861466075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10673039157252986,0.0,0.11449127619821872,0.08088185337904867,0.0,0.12402308527716112,0.0,0.09630185319664718,0.13690177883987345,0.0,0.08747074721032913,0.0,0.0,0.1086075337271958,0.19303055014801251,0.0,0.09054953632767827,0.12482153408161427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035463955253073,0.0,0.0,0.11244947904034336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22469971096145008,0.0,0.0,0.11789750882182284,0.0,0.184573032534642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055311837918469525,0.11347262435357633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218226497200328,0.0,0.07557285846616507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09036828898771923,0.0,0.08322711644647691,0.0,0.0,0.10934515138860644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15343679103975705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807791073318594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14505871187231156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18006852793171613,0.0,0.11458109014736767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09365381608656563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404055547586995,0.0,0.09041480196266223,0.0,0.12968905915641618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3911306427991019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816308116369239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472687685720601,0.0,0.0,0.08042571662502268,0.0,0.0,0.2916307233635816
addiction,WorthTheFightBook,2020/02/15,"The Abstinence Myth: Why 85-90% of those struggling with addiction won’t seek help In my [Worth The Fight Podcast conversation with Dr. Adi Jaffe](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/igniting-hope-episode-13-dr-adi-jaffe-the-abstinence-myth/id1480588649?i=1000460319311), we cover this hard truth and reality: Yes, roughly 90% of those struggling with addiction won’t seek help! Adi is a progressive thinker doing inspiring work, igniting hope on the system-wide level. If you are struggling with addiction, hang in there! Times are changing as the sharp blade of science is cutting through much of the bullshit, and erroneous societal limiting beliefs that keep people tethered to self-abuse. 

Why you think so many people fail in their efforts of seeking help? I’d love to hear your thoughts and impressions.",10.897153846153849,12.591828523076927,7.902884615384617,67.34586538461541,56.07692307692307,11.423076923076925,43.17307692307693,11.20814326018867,5.376153846153847,668,35,93,16,8,189,90,130,0.16899999999999998,0.652,0.179,0.35700000000000004,0,0,0,0,2,0,43.0,1,3,1,5,2,11,2,3,6,1,7,5,0,1,1,19,13,6,0,2,1,0,3,0,0,2,4,1,0,1,4,8,0,2,5,0,1,1,2,6,0,0,1,4,6,5,17,10,1,7,1,1,0,1,13,5,0,2,1,47,10,2,0.0,0.17485551488710094,0.0,0.4826446288984714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15611770320035473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13220068677791655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663308624585702,0.0,0.2967547875107443,0.0,0.0,0.29315603150165004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117389491248388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13319469127240466,0.0,0.0,0.14962068657634495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848663497152107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046236756382997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15395579040945498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4628409556124741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456187042607077,0.0,0.11716025776956865,0.08605377932455682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17751787591170282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663319503991125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10743836777118153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,beepbop24hha,2020/02/15,"Not sure if it’s the right place but social media addiction..? I definitely have a problem with social media, mostly Facebook, reddit and YouTube.

I used to be someone who could leave their phone at home and not worry but now I panic if I’m at 40% battery without a charger.

What are some ways you reduced your usage?",3.973278688524587,5.871759114754099,5.030295081967214,80.72740983606558,72.60655737704917,6.191475409836067,28.593442622950818,6.742157984588678,1.6204137704918034,250,10,43,2,5,82,50,61,0.16899999999999998,0.7290000000000001,0.10099999999999999,-0.5396,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,1,3,0,4,1,0,1,1,16,6,6,0,4,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,6,1,5,4,2,6,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,4,1,32,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26312150788387645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19270887041807044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421069630220195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555687722338403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28318770342277555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25217316607626256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23095197973987666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20612284879462725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4920787611710262,0.20450625092849195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274819538237692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20846030431971316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915828687767072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23266550584278015,0.0,0.0,0.24511603944193305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,pianogirl011,2020/02/15,"working on getting clean from molly hi, i recently posted on r/mdma about how im trying to come to terms with the fact that i definitely abuse molly. ill link the post [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/MDMA/comments/ezbomv/coming_to_terms_with_how_i_abuse_mdma/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) for context.

its been about 12 days since i last rolled? and ever since ive been feeling insanely anxious and almost manic but only for a few hours at a time and then having it be followed by some nasty depression. almost like bipolar but with the periods of mania and depression being shrunk down into hours rather than weeks. i feel like im going crazy :,)

ive been dealing with a lot of mental health issues again that i thought i had started to turn a corner on a few months ago.. even typing this i feel like my brains mush.

i just dont know whats going on, im sorry if this isnt much context but im just scared i might have permanently fucked myself over seeing as its been almost two weeks and i still feel like im in that comedown youd normally get after rolling

sorry

thanks though to whoever reads this <3",4.860024943876277,7.4230029146919465,4.735365427787478,80.8920678473435,71.98578199052133,6.906560239461213,23.90147168870043,7.85451343220497,1.3695251184834123,929,27,159,13,19,286,137,211,0.185,0.721,0.094,-0.9701,1,0,0,0,2,0,39.0,0,1,0,1,11,9,1,1,8,0,15,5,1,1,2,34,32,13,0,3,7,0,4,4,0,1,3,0,1,0,10,10,0,0,7,1,0,4,2,4,0,1,6,5,15,5,27,22,6,34,0,2,1,1,3,10,1,7,22,97,25,3,0.0,0.11376941546735801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08511699644923651,0.0,0.2884540719464423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20807785096627066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084766198562286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719141057845316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827137578450678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06192572762654201,0.09899363654668134,0.16540583040481135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11253612629612016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06342109419860542,0.08685666887745427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942048067510537,0.2057926842995955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877004821041304,0.10033422330639974,0.0,0.10914211671359812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10206604093385067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891230716431293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5185968436757213,0.10022118127819844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05277073801564802,0.07827009031847046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18764442411148707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163378688030881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676678089460884,0.10186331459214296,0.0,0.0,0.07664320235586837,0.0,0.07058662722019236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940803846094919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302844625234978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18392352564611505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09604718045409508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09480934672453327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09613396798362857,0.0,0.07651646111048283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588594507681204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149757345529149,0.06796429657365673,0.0,0.07668265096544882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840341619654833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434033730288896,0.07623010375769458,0.055990731426647566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06519208892070757,0.1044434878007916,0.09379875582703706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540448226505778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06990457411644416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,millionyoungg,2020/02/15,"Today is the first time i've ever promised myself all day I would not get on it, and nightfall came and I broke... Everyone has moments where they wouldn't like to have a big night and spontaneously get into it.

But today was worse than that, even if nobody noticed. I felt the disappointment. and still do right now. It was different, I wasn't a conscious decision.. it was a crumbling of character

Seeing my partners disappointed face was the worst thing i've ever seen, I never want to see it again

​

How do you keep yourselves inline, i'm so disciplined without alcohol. But three beers in does me... and makes me do things I shouldn't

​

I want to be able to drink eventually and it not escalate to something harder or a massive beer session.",5.656666666666666,6.970561333333336,5.9232222222222255,78.24400000000001,67.6111111111111,8.815555555555557,31.761111111111113,9.120678840339163,2.7873327777777788,608,25,109,11,10,194,98,144,0.13,0.852,0.018000000000000002,-0.9281,1,0,5,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,1,1,9,6,0,0,7,0,15,5,1,2,4,31,27,12,0,6,7,0,1,1,1,3,1,0,0,1,9,8,4,2,3,3,0,1,7,4,0,2,8,4,13,2,11,15,2,20,0,3,3,0,3,6,0,2,14,81,22,1,0.1430622209440793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15289000618960918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3100157132442907,0.3476725147749231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16362506854950168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09226329726668543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14946957164499425,0.0,0.0,0.12519471362745796,0.0,0.0,0.14014651216885465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09449124768162442,0.2588159386212809,0.0,0.13670208290885846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13736216725847072,0.0,0.0,0.12168865205166443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14948821153572753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271602752870896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06989297480137209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09549514337652457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103384042982391,0.0,0.0,0.13425420305539051,0.0,0.0,0.16287728675485028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217435500754875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22800413552849105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11013628707048903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11424967444694625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19008836538728474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342073150839778,0.0,0.27121251525712226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16876360905430302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13790687580283278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14579262528948292,0.10162729710303108,0.0,0.3476725147749231,0.0
addiction,silhouetteofthemind,2020/02/15,"Watched my best friend overdose last week. He lived, but only because I called the police. Shit was terrifying and he would’ve gotten arrested for the drugs he had on him were we not minors. He’s alive but not doing well. The police roughed him up and before he overdosed he became aggressive and kicked through a window, scraping up his whole leg. He is also going through an extreme depression right now, maybe caused by the fact that this is his first week without any drugs or alcohol in years. I dont think this will stop him from turning back to drugs, and it already hasn’t stopped me. I’m afraid. If this didn’t deter me (the literal scariest experience of my life), what could?",5.478770144189991,6.6733420000000025,5.219491094147585,83.56645462256151,67.93129770992365,7.959626802374894,30.586089906700593,8.167268648758528,2.100749957591179,546,21,103,7,9,168,99,131,0.212,0.7559999999999999,0.032,-0.9808,0,0,4,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,0,2,4,7,2,1,7,0,11,8,2,1,1,18,16,9,0,2,7,0,1,0,1,1,6,0,1,0,6,5,1,2,1,0,0,1,6,4,1,1,5,2,12,3,12,9,2,15,0,1,1,0,15,5,1,2,9,65,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16493181926080774,0.0,0.0,0.17030697614831705,0.12341763327750566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10494968202695697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11867023227324976,0.0,0.0940781264404172,0.0,0.13132345032737416,0.0,0.16195979789461598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15758816985119534,0.0,0.0,0.15853940678559442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12321993510817092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13292418997183084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808735930755232,0.0,0.536921358352044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15096433897011818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312730064343504,0.0,0.0,0.11923496360876625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08770928703335508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12579953595519802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10900783251267172,0.0,0.0,0.13627620424550935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155045213331172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11737490799734968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13179696397827914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15841751186067748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580535558631558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09888842284108336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16786670675121718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24758840991359365,0.0,0.13876119083583394,0.0,0.0,0.1723039168541294,0.0,0.14876859829888153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963159342785543,0.0,0.0,0.09938345045756236
addiction,samiamnyc,2020/02/15,"Addict Needing Help With Addict Hi addicts. I recently started going to an anonymous group for those with compulsive behavior. While I admittedly am an addict with this behavior, now that I've recognized it, I am developing and obtaining the tools to handle it. Last night at a meeting, I decided to share my struggles. Afterward, a fellow addict approached me to welcome me to the group. We exchanged phone numbers. Since then, he's been texting me nonstop about his compulsion and anxiety. Lots and lots of paragraphs. I don't struggle as nearly as bad as him, and while I want to be supportive, I honestly can't relate. I don't mean to ""leave him on read,"" but how can I, with compassion, communicate to this individual that my healing journey is already far different than his? I am happy to offer a sympathetic ear, but I don't see us forming much of a bond. And, in all honesty, I'd rather keep these to parts of my life separate. Waking up to a bunch of texts feels invasive. Thanks.",5.1373590733590735,6.878013643243246,6.40249034749035,72.69601351351352,69.32432432432432,9.826254826254825,34.835907335907336,10.125756701596842,3.9843745173745178,784,40,133,21,14,264,121,185,0.028999999999999998,0.787,0.184,0.98,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,2,0,0,1,4,9,0,2,9,0,11,9,2,1,1,24,22,14,0,3,3,0,1,0,1,0,7,1,0,0,8,10,0,1,4,1,1,3,4,3,0,0,1,3,23,6,30,20,7,18,0,0,1,0,18,6,0,2,9,101,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7166030130608327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145079297583906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005734160722869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977111362446312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373571108471235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0664746705991588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471685565776569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399511825192861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08812089149557717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685567728422973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10716477225728613,0.0,0.13920667580534954,0.0,0.0,0.09286043431544284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22354046466364372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14320826952709095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09664483329051166,0.09748258886019888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233747394056246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14236810258440566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13150456550436115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298097652405422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10476376219158837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10875250554339633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305442646491767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27487986274027265,0.0,0.0,0.14918944975086298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210389808536293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15814100536970233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07754381544254878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Suitable-Rhubarb,2020/02/15,"has anyone used (healthy) rewards to motivate sobriety? I'm probably going to end up doing this, will research more about it.",5.47909090909091,8.236038727272728,6.400000000000002,68.77000000000002,70.81818181818181,9.854545454545457,38.27272727272727,10.125756701596842,5.0592000000000015,100,6,14,3,2,33,21,22,0.0,0.769,0.231,0.6908,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,5,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,10,2,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37349642625011775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4731063698140462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035748967370401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5759137985125252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4613419135237285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ORDINOR26,2020/02/15,"Cause, that just happened You ever go through something so devastating you just toss your nearly 10 year sobriety off hard drugs away? I’ve been using as often as I can. Along with my new issues with getting high, I am currently unemployed. I go where the drugs are and get what I can. I was a manager at work, I own my home, I wear designer daily. I lost it all in this devastation. Now I’m unemployed, borderline homeless, and drunk and high again. Now what? 

I’m trying to check myself into a facility as soon as I am approved for state issued insurance. Is that the best I can do without money? I’m terrified to try to get clean AGAIN. It’s been years. What a horrible thing to have happen after having pulled myself from these same slumps so long ago.",2.406981981981982,4.799346635135137,4.044486486486488,83.63925225225226,79.27027027027026,7.46018018018018,23.380180180180183,8.447377352677275,1.7082877477477478,594,20,114,13,15,198,101,148,0.124,0.7909999999999999,0.085,-0.715,5,0,3,0,0,0,19.0,0,3,0,4,12,2,0,0,5,0,13,4,1,2,2,16,25,9,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,10,7,1,0,0,1,2,3,1,1,0,0,4,1,17,1,22,21,4,26,0,1,0,0,3,9,0,1,13,86,27,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14537628213344753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15408358649809714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17210809193823012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16847338137975418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3803763308677435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483475701287329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570500069935621,0.0,0.18641018614255886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900496705604258,0.0,0.14691196631755107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34655043116523604,0.16450557240342412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3423472005132637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14513501625389374,0.0,0.0,0.17902559144577865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15839241515273386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262553663189599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895444563871916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22269074114845824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416435168053695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580903404819369,0.0,0.11939409886521947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112215037415441
addiction,baby--bunny,2020/02/15,"How can I be there for a loved one long distance? I have a family member who quietly struggles. It was easier to be there, and to be supportive when we lived in the same town. We saw each other more frequently, and when he was feeling really distressed we would sit, smoke cigarettes, cry, complain, etc. I live about an hour away now. We talk somewhat frequently but he isn't one to reach out or vent. There are a few family members who (imo) he had unhealthy relationships with that he leans on. They go back and forth between enabling and their interpretation of ""tough love,"" which is just being abusive and mean. 

I don't know how to reach out and be there. He's in rehab now, I talked to him just a few days ago, and he didn't mention a thing. I do not struggle with addiction, just other issues, so I get the desire to just want to hide when everything is really bad, and not let on that you're having a hard time. I know when I open up to people about my issues,or even just if they become aware of them, my family tends to focus on it and never drop it. To the point of bringing shit up I'm not thinking about, I'm doing fine, and they make it all about my problems. I don't want him to feel like people are just worried and concerned constantly and don't see him as a person outside of his addiction if that makes sense. We talk about shit but I don't want to bug him and be like... ""Hey how you feeling how's the drug thing going want to talk about that?!"" and remind him of it if he's doing well, but he hides it so well that I never know what's going on. But how am I supposed to let him know I'm here and help him feel okay to talk to me about things when he's struggling?",3.5067072588347656,4.218193819484242,4.586121060171923,88.08265819006687,72.12320916905445,7.765090735434575,23.99725405921681,7.937092434478242,1.0174841451766952,1309,33,289,17,24,429,167,349,0.14400000000000002,0.748,0.10800000000000001,-0.9614,0,0,3,0,0,0,44.0,5,1,5,1,36,19,2,4,12,1,29,8,2,7,3,73,59,36,0,10,17,0,5,2,0,1,4,1,0,1,20,26,0,0,11,0,0,4,11,10,2,2,5,8,36,9,44,45,8,38,0,0,2,2,43,14,2,5,20,208,56,0,0.0,0.11056640341227417,0.0,0.20346048098820896,0.0,0.0,0.08272065148605391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08767520032415121,0.07175567336860768,0.07791651433772527,0.0,0.10306224360380324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10084345375344336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250528619282186,0.0601822990320217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10821908992820232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10407408019663997,0.061635565737988326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08386807445833609,0.0,0.2639153170375986,0.0,0.18873725350202325,0.06666629708313307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0487547297513166,0.0,0.15910406926483045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359447212805703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06254899380139048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189929361930413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09739960000795876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2051402192349531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908476665194232,0.0,0.09118078443642524,0.0,0.16480275823912233,0.08258336863327244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684460221584284,0.0,0.12458079095482245,0.0,0.0,0.10165050546960763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14394497137900286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12646919262595374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12938970717014306,0.08148155500175819,0.0,0.0,0.08821553970995165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929258816765434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11956361997363853,0.0,0.0,0.10018845728370616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07436225168308581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191578882406969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2926682629770829,0.0,0.0,0.10589600047530097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3750268010511733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18598871686504093,0.059794316008270364,0.0,0.0,0.054414393998914484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22016516397569985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16780792444946765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09476881552531667,0.0,0.0662903295813509,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Three_Sharp_Knocks,2020/02/15,"I'm two weeks clean off marijuana! <3 I've basically been stoned for the last three years, I finally took the dive and came off it cold turkey while I was moving house.   
Where I live now, I have no access to weed which makes it a lot easier but yesterday I was out with my sort of boyfriend who still smokes and we went to his mates house so he could have a few hot ones.   
I was around weed, I was around the smell, I was around the bongs and I didn't cave.   
I told myself before we went there that I was strong enough to handle it and by golly, I was right!  
These two weeks haven't been easy, I've got some mental health bs going on that I was trying to suppress by smoking so much so now they've all come back along with the mood swings, night sweats, vivid dreams and trouble managing my anger that also comes with quitting pot.   
Now that I'm off it, I have so much of a clearer mind, I can hold conversations without spacing out and connect with people in a way that I'd completely forgotten about.   
I'm literally learning how to feel again and it's a struggle but I know the struggle is worth it.   
I want to be able to feel again, the good and the bad.   
I'll keep going. <3",3.5440935390549666,4.355912647540983,4.128958534233366,91.0241417550627,72.11475409836065,7.380520732883317,22.95949855351977,7.510576382923642,0.6197707810993243,922,21,210,10,17,292,143,244,0.113,0.807,0.08,-0.873,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,2,0,0,2,19,8,1,2,13,0,19,2,1,2,1,42,38,17,0,2,3,0,3,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,14,23,0,3,4,1,1,9,4,5,0,4,17,6,23,2,29,19,7,38,0,0,1,0,8,13,0,3,15,136,37,2,0.12735189837494298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018432671194683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3401105691722284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792574888678164,0.10633351565072853,0.0,0.0,0.10836708560654794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14565664480809673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194047678845732,0.13352604247486646,0.0,0.0,0.101680128134107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13158855432960592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878589262954193,0.0,0.0,0.13950777975813586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14475403734425965,0.10681673018700877,0.10185494694776244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353691127293172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29389398426301394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131962187419222,0.0,0.0,0.0699892728069982,0.10380879460703044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245405946001244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10827002985139364,0.0,0.0,0.08500838106897203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12834076007577386,0.0,0.12858911341336435,0.0,0.0,0.13535491359300253,0.1872365972056327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11951112957069356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629694223189666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882897712337606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13545441997677746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10875782537325047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101703390549383,0.0,0.0,0.266271710486219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12169019644296568,0.14149264497859976,0.0864635793984254,0.0,0.2488085995154674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07511544923545266,0.10108600918709304,0.2043080222565758,0.0,0.0,0.2361129713552895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227626854703536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201044715746256
addiction,mecky82,2020/02/15,"What's an alternative for drugs? Even If I'm not a addict (I use it in average like,2 times a week), but I want to quit for once because it's messing with my head.. but I can't find peace in something else and It's helping me out with a lot in my life, I feel lost without using ! what can I do",0.12681818181818372,1.5543898636363664,2.645454545454548,95.68818181818185,82.18181818181819,5.612121212121212,21.60606060606061,6.42735559955562,0.1020787878787881,225,7,57,2,6,78,48,66,0.115,0.816,0.069,-0.5813,0,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,4,0,3,4,1,2,0,15,9,4,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,1,8,0,10,8,1,6,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,2,2,37,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614406831498468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14619287611419635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781166412589339,0.0,0.20033997444503213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583997475539322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12126088627072094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191923798084483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24612590550690244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16074720348978974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16939292008642398,0.11716460345230105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26179334596718645,0.20388754557307454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255401923223814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550795382987889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184626200801934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13984176456444694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4142573125950865,0.0,0.0,0.14145285265235552,0.0,0.19237023050588054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311792345754817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ragtopshawty,2020/02/16,"Tips on helping friend through addiction I have a friend who is addicted to Percocet and he’s is getting angry with me for not helping him out with his addiction. He claims that I don’t care about him because I haven’t presented any solutions to him but tbh this is my first time even dealing with anyone with a drug addiction. He says that I communicate to harshly with him but what I thought I was doing was keeping him accountable of his actions. I don’t wanna further his negative feelings by making him mad cuz it makes him so the drugs more. But I seriously don’t even know what to do or how to start looking for solutions. So if anyone has any tips for me, any are welcome. I just wanna help my friend out.",3.359835680751175,5.259673880281689,4.564436619718311,83.41430751173712,74.28169014084506,8.11361502347418,30.143192488262912,8.841846274778883,2.5574065727699526,569,26,111,12,12,187,83,142,0.09300000000000001,0.743,0.16399999999999998,0.7771,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,7,7,1,0,3,0,14,6,0,4,0,25,24,10,0,3,7,0,1,0,3,0,6,1,0,0,7,8,0,1,3,0,1,1,6,2,0,1,3,3,23,5,22,21,1,9,0,0,1,0,23,4,0,2,4,86,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6101156053866096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28544267627742576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956647957630971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529138812579137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426535082501258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14424707165078735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3245158727888758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18482616536111604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07074564500198087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190123290701668,0.0,0.0,0.3242958574146577,0.0,0.07310024362767756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28134788412549433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12436361379609112,0.0,0.0,0.07689407817661682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11749405410275307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18678979899135556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11126667966414604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09903314091237192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11107753611514083,0.08158604259447605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,erinkateh,2020/02/16,"I need help with prescriptions. Hello everyone,
This is my first time on the site and first post. My brother recommended this community to me. I’m a suburban female professional, mom, wife and human. My prescription use is starting to become a problem in my life and I need help. These are my pills: Adderall, Xanax, muscle relaxant, Lexapro, Ambien, Rexulti, Lyrica, Belbucca (opiod) and I believe that’s all. 
What do folks think? Too many? The combo of Adderall and Xanax seems to be contraindicated where the Adderall is bringing me “up” and the Xanax, Ambien and Xanaflex help me sleep. I’m spending too much time in bed and my home life is suffering. 
Does anyone have any advice? TIA.",3.424634146341468,6.500578455284558,4.300682926829271,78.8339512195122,81.52032520325204,7.832845528455285,26.89918699186992,8.648137234880735,2.7310806504065037,542,23,90,14,15,174,81,123,0.045,0.828,0.127,0.8649,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,6,0,8,7,1,1,1,16,17,8,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,0,2,1,5,9,0,0,2,1,1,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,12,1,9,16,2,13,0,1,0,0,8,6,0,1,5,55,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852233995231479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12889864416045532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325358591051205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20934006889152107,0.0,0.213554865700902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658740942241023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811205403490921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3224576238336436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38114862088045615,0.0,0.1901313675934904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26776568622941244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19217118221452828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22199547296679734,0.0,0.0,0.1393390538033346,0.2810937994636316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181533889951692,0.0,0.0,0.18137113946769529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17255671665768066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18968415981281767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341625340369498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145423769942824,0.0,0.0,0.22105307608503816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16370798367190076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,randomwordspoon,2020/02/16,I think I’m struggling with addiction I highly doubt that I actually have a problem but I don’t know. Back in November I took between 10-30 pills of different kinds ( mostly prescription stuff that wasn’t mine) for like a few days a week for two weeks but it was just something me and two friends did bcs we just thought like living life on the edge and it was fine and I got over it quickly but since the end of January I’ve found myself doing some sort of drug whether it’s weed or some pills everyday for like the whole of this month and I don’t think it’s a problem but I’m scared it’s going to be. The last few days I tried honestly a lot to have a day without any drug involved and I couldn’t do it. Or I didn’t want to. I’m really confused and I don’t know if I actually have a problem or not. Any thoughts?,0.9540274064171116,2.8228348238636367,2.7953743315508035,93.46085561497328,81.44318181818181,6.413903743315508,23.42112299465241,7.510576382923642,0.8634549465240644,643,23,150,10,17,214,96,176,0.11699999999999999,0.7559999999999999,0.126,0.3744,1,0,3,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,0,0,4,14,0,4,11,0,15,6,0,0,0,40,29,15,0,6,13,0,0,3,1,0,6,0,0,0,11,8,0,0,7,0,0,2,8,7,0,2,10,0,16,7,16,17,7,17,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,11,14,98,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.2559074902388709,0.14293963950123514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17833155065537126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008228235150153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536837449575649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13699199940255002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3041140495954188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11613298347995765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437657946911792,0.10130262208525044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745182494193631,0.0,0.10486826454723884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13853498030525807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13654081120687225,0.14411972704590165,0.10687991561925016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261360029929663,0.19217513484897988,0.0,0.11578094545483028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11147313383626306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104658356305119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3763910406824342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399852715125054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312735215256195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084634285225195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10094221858342232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13707459977881828,0.15010048950037008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16803219834991773,0.0,0.20818851809466765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14567862013333768,0.08902155260760712,0.0,0.2561694529083375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733769481072011,0.0,0.2103523527248416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14639027047599146,0.0,0.12639454599134062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,mlodytravolta2115,2020/02/16,"Day 1 clean Yestarday, I told myself it's time to stop. I've been a smoker, a pack a day or more, for the past 4 years. Alcohol was becoming less common than other substances but still as present as ever. I've been moving from cannabis, to psychedelics like 2cb and LSD, to benzodiazepines like clonazepam and xanax, to even euforics like MDMA or Mefedrone. Yesterday I decided it's time to stop. 

I know for certain that I will not go my whole life without having a drink, or smoking another joint or even a cigarette. But my usage of these heavier substances had to stop. So for now I quit everything. Even using my phone as it was counterproductive and made me lose the majority of my time. For the next 9 months I will be staying 100% clean and honest with my self. If temptation will take the better of me then we shall start again. This fight is not over. After 9 months I will ease back into drinking and smoking socially, and socially only.",4.5248382004735594,6.242215220994478,5.033358326756119,82.00310773480665,70.82320441988949,8.044356748224152,28.950670876085237,8.634040054169528,2.2252206787687463,749,29,140,13,14,239,115,181,0.07400000000000001,0.772,0.154,0.9451,0,0,5,0,1,0,22.0,1,0,0,3,9,8,1,0,9,0,13,5,0,2,2,28,20,18,0,1,10,0,0,3,0,5,3,0,2,1,7,9,3,3,2,2,0,2,3,2,0,0,7,0,16,6,23,7,4,29,0,1,0,0,7,2,0,5,27,96,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15050015536971267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14766832933774512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10828649362462933,0.0,0.0,0.15553124179621625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12454914403415973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18164222658657792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759117143311285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27904271465970365,0.12738517037651895,0.0,0.0,0.1265653192813006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08003465544154946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773942811749125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946956144181174,0.20640139592536969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15754826089387122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13325295674856855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248119232866087,0.14967574059399805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14977003797919738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10710451124154016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13443434222832226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14978577495691836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469122205557877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871087242979524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09967736053486646,0.1501017678239327,0.11246381750995764,0.35321050017975986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058836184538705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24635030174893566,0.0,0.0,0.13456526839060842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12162843992202725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572271886260495,0.0,0.13575122895304434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068732038533643
addiction,topoftheworldmamma,2020/02/16,"Addicted to everything Hi, I've been clean from crack and heroin for almost 5 years now but have noticed in these 5 years my addiction to things is still crystal clear. I've noticed patterns of chasing women in real life and on dating apps and it feels like I'm on repeat going from one woman to the next. I think I'm addicted to that rush you get in an early relationship.

I also struggling a lot with my phone - constantly checking whatsapp, social media and dating apps on a cycle. I sometimes feel like I'm on crack and it fills me with huge anxiety. 

Has anyone else experienced this after quitting drugs? If so, would you have any advice?

Much appreciated.",4.6071428571428585,6.490374793650794,5.712888888888887,76.54600000000003,70.90476190476191,7.897142857142858,27.679365079365077,8.548686976883017,2.2339422222222223,528,19,90,9,10,175,89,126,0.059000000000000004,0.7929999999999999,0.147,0.9129,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,1,4,3,0,1,4,0,6,5,0,0,1,17,14,9,0,2,2,0,2,2,0,1,5,0,1,2,6,7,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,1,0,1,1,3,8,2,18,12,2,22,0,0,0,0,8,8,0,3,13,56,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4964783788925887,0.0,0.14834472058701573,0.0,0.0,0.15201347590591388,0.0,0.0,0.12140055719935898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10323443690837912,0.0,0.11613246958494165,0.0,0.0,0.10614746860993712,0.1555449212225678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16405018539969204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17604872806036095,0.0,0.12681584791560965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13643496580000286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15351706172488344,0.21690289234119955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07931325393089549,0.0,0.08627581030877324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10722626301200293,0.14833114133771086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12906147184508193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11159612152962137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16144920366487728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3456681291788752,0.0,0.0,0.10286882155168477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16146616782243126,0.0,0.17279038950192058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629846497769312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547488253611232,0.0,0.0,0.15014169003260508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12123381968172245,0.0,0.0,0.15870236164720433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085428568838878,0.09727223991145367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078398294907266,0.0,0.0,0.19551835408825635
addiction,ryandemers88,2020/02/16,"Nicotine So this is very weak compared to other things on here, but im a 21 yr old male whos parents smoked cigarettes as i grew up. Typical story of experimenting stealing one or two that i never enjoyed but then i got into vaping at 15 where ive continued ever since. Moving from a mech mod with no nicotine to a big box and tank mod with 3 mg of nic then up to 6 nicotine fast. Then the blu disposable pens, then onto the juul wave where i got into that and was there for awhile. Inbetween i smoked some black and milds but never really cigarettes. 

Today im deciding to stop, its been every day since my first vape at 15 where i had no clue what i was entering. Would love encouragement, advice, support.  Im tired of spending money and relying on this substance, im a senior in college now and do not have time or money for this shit anymore. Ive attempted to stop few times before and it never went well. I do smoke weed but that doesnt affect my day, i smoke at night or during the day if i dont got anything going on due to being a full time student. Not a drinker at all. Thanks if you read this, my first real post on reddit, yes idc my names in it i dont got any shame, just wanted to encourage others along with take support, ill need it. Have a splendid day ❤️",2.078675889328064,3.804590530303032,4.038794466403163,86.5504743083004,77.4090909090909,6.86403162055336,22.84189723320158,7.7425588080867325,1.0534833992094854,996,30,207,15,23,339,160,264,0.131,0.741,0.129,0.3475,1,0,7,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,0,3,10,12,1,1,10,1,16,5,1,1,5,39,30,21,0,5,12,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,15,12,0,2,1,1,3,5,10,4,1,4,9,1,18,8,33,19,4,53,0,0,1,1,8,20,1,6,27,134,33,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10374027264101784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721937969105898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10528417225777012,0.0,0.0,0.08736227612818337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033603837024673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738628163205538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488421344931558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602960218107373,0.0894460593441633,0.0,0.0,0.10384680179927323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806026770796655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060334308146186025,0.0,0.3396297812817268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4586926874739213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09581534514358664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11283339954655087,0.0,0.07871777396681577,0.24563602519608846,0.0,0.0,0.09962584050444699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113991551677412,0.0,0.07193811516718075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11788033179491005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016738451278642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10619072373859707,0.12083559189531325,0.06801009229898036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897376206831287,0.1756365982845829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775123625363154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24094274723384884,0.0,0.0,0.07982060806264818,0.0,0.0,0.09773970149350314,0.0,0.0,0.07052931208422343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857117386915115,0.12201759595664755,0.1006291578695237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037048429736423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759476388947919,0.06261709509259109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095452382863825,0.09841323276657164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07541443516600653,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,walksandteapots,2020/02/16,"Five Year Celebration - Words of Gratitude  Dearest friends,

Five years ago today, I stumbled into the rooms

And today I am writing to express my gratitude

My life is evidence that miracles are possible

​

In 2015 I was 21 years old and I had had enough

Of bipolar disorder, resentment and vomit

Of broken glass, ashes and loneliness

But lacking courage to end my life

​

So I made my first meeting, took the first step and set fire to my old self.

​

Over the last few years the time spent in these rooms has taught me:

* When uncomfortable or stressed blank –Be patient. **Comfortable silence** **resides within**.
* When failing or controlling – Accept. **Let go**. **Or you will be dragged. Friction burns.**
* When self-centered – Humility. Every time. **Always be kind. No exceptions.**
* When the path feels hard, tread lightly. **If it’s not effortless, it’s not right.**

​

With discipline, I have been given the courage to rebuild my life with intention

And in exchange for faith, I have been granted an existence of belonging and serenity

​

Brothers and sisters, from love we come and to love we shall return

Blessed is each fighter that has passed and each still to come

That no addict seeking recovery should ever die

​

And if you would like to celebrate with me today, smile.

[https://imgur.com/JiO97wK](https://imgur.com/JiO97wK)",3.7926029748283767,6.623323504385965,2.9562013729977146,82.69623569794051,101.23684210526315,6.017696414950421,29.517925247902365,7.1686216300943375,2.753554996186117,1101,56,163,23,46,321,145,228,0.121,0.6859999999999999,0.19399999999999998,0.9719,0,0,0,0,1,1,94.0,2,2,0,4,7,14,1,1,7,0,20,8,0,3,1,42,31,22,1,5,9,2,3,1,1,4,6,0,2,1,6,21,0,2,2,0,2,6,4,3,0,4,10,4,19,11,23,14,5,39,2,1,0,2,13,9,0,5,24,112,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07553167041650426,0.0,0.0,0.06141761736074167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05765127601334358,0.450426343680263,0.5051384589167266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11936703929225613,0.0,0.0,0.07770983537421543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07190764680015069,0.0,0.07940744685777801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061366589864791835,0.0715906782086738,0.0,0.0,0.06267290760812527,0.058376214061756075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03503294585167422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11786880958905792,0.0,0.0,0.05352998153884882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03937667588079763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062066403133923274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.072150423678594,0.0,0.05647711571727612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084935107442006,0.1468156760077436,0.033849506916134316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12506614912975575,0.06555983103942188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14540743272655288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810924788493033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059169633093383286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144560249802745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05533167183609531,0.0,0.0793665672678036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08080213029041253,0.0,0.19702430617013708,0.0,0.07697899309832318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04921859322676239,0.0,0.5051384589167266,0.17847094869643687
addiction,ddevitoh,2020/02/16,"I need help with a friend A good friend of mine “Jimmy” (15 year friendship) has been addicted to heroin for just over 24 months. I don’t know how to help him so I was hoping for some advice here. All our friends are getting increasingly worried about Jimmy but don’t know how to approach the situation. 

Jimmy has been “trying to tamper off” for the last 12 months however, has been bed ridden and “doesn’t have enough energy to get out of bed which means he can’t completely quit”. 

Seems like he has a cycle of excuses. Not enough energy so can’t leave house or get a hobby, needs to use cause he will be too anxious/fatigued/etc. 

Jimmy is a very smart guy (Uni graduate and worked as a professional for 5 years in his field). He has been out of work for the last 12 months to get clean, he lives with his mum and does nothing all day besides laying in bed tampering himself off aka using. Jimmy is self aware enough to know that he needs to get off it ASAP and how bad it is for him. 

All of our close friends have used drugs recreationally since we were 15 (mdma, lsd, Coke, flowers, etc - we’re all now now 28, professionals that occasionally still party) so we’re not completely green to how delicately something like this needs to be handled. But none of us have been addicted to something as hard as this so we don’t know how to help.

Jimmy recently told me he needs someone to hold onto his gear and ration it out to him as he can’t do it himself. This made me more concerned than ever before. 

We love Jimmy and desperately want to help him but we have no idea what to do. Any links or advice would be greatly appreciated. thanks in advance xo",4.6689741451209334,5.512244122324161,5.398867111481792,82.82914303586324,69.55045871559633,8.391937725882679,26.484431470670003,8.575989854853784,1.6609033639143729,1296,38,264,20,22,421,171,327,0.05,0.772,0.17800000000000002,0.9929,2,0,3,0,0,0,32.0,7,0,0,4,17,13,0,0,9,0,34,5,0,10,5,57,59,24,0,8,8,1,1,2,4,2,3,0,4,2,11,16,1,1,8,0,0,4,11,1,0,0,9,2,22,12,48,45,12,29,0,0,1,1,38,12,0,5,15,165,33,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19420786400733508,0.0,0.17408438643126986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0605734519457709,0.0,0.0,0.10062839478885093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07437316449332224,0.0,0.0,0.07579551032574651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09150365158773484,0.0,0.0,0.18678502747421447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05744543455953487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07794935734951987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10329769298536096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27611211206653635,0.1986823653944756,0.0,0.08057263562811054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752737578206748,0.0,0.23268774061845435,0.0,0.0,0.07471114066172413,0.0,0.09820452505386257,0.0,0.08819737699108,0.0,0.0,0.07979291013153311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23881800383004234,0.0,0.0,0.08847069348218972,0.0,0.10277956814193437,0.0,0.10055383247503404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19581121408007232,0.1452145828136038,0.0,0.09431662535245124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703422550611993,0.0,0.07865407450302847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039286549660826,0.08428408031120291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09702782302801344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21329432373823928,0.0,0.0,0.33023663408106063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08546901464647677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474128450121833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08794994151287226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108972792120875,0.0929237271589036,0.0,0.0,0.07368302749948084,0.10012303610292797,0.0,0.0,0.07547220766631267,0.13714720932312535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711347024366539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200747661108626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08511413303595944,0.0,0.060475476371936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10714519163700204,0.2307943054019607,0.0,0.0734954725782294,0.05253822021956104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12969403159978948,0.0904590864441313,0.0,0.06327569486618143,0.0,0.0,0.11472161790732785
addiction,itsabbeydabbey,2020/02/16,"Weed dependency I haven’t smoked weed in a really long time, but it’s like 1AM and I have a really strong craving. Advice?",1.0114666666666672,3.4625442799999995,3.708000000000002,83.32066666666668,86.2,8.133333333333335,16.333333333333336,8.841846274778883,1.2619333333333338,97,2,20,3,3,34,20,25,0.0,0.6759999999999999,0.324,0.8458,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,3,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4911569545308768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24555599738645445,0.0,0.0,0.4448051544547885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6439857725556734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29308326032003584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,itsyaboi-nubbtubbs,2020/02/16,"I’m (mostly) clean but fuck, I still crave Xanax bout every day To preface this I know that this is probably going to get buried but I’m a little drunk and I need to vent, didn’t know where else to go. I was using Xanax, klonopin, and Ativan daily for the better part of a year. I’ve always fucked with drugs, I’ve taken everything just short of heroin pretty regularly for the past 3 years or so, i was chasing the dragon for a very long time. I decided to clean up and have only really smoked weed (I have very bad anxiety/depression and it helped a lot while I found an ssri that worked). I went through absolute hell to get off of benzos/painkillers, but my girlfriend at the time helped me through it. Now that we’re separated I can’t stop thinking about pills. The comfort they provided; the artificial bliss. I know that it would be a horrible idea to relapse after being clean for six months but fuck I just want to be numb",2.6273624288425026,4.698265215053766,3.7125426944971562,87.93293168880459,76.95698924731181,6.9571157495256175,22.231499051233396,7.928766900206844,1.0300098671726756,734,21,150,12,17,237,120,186,0.21,0.665,0.126,-0.9718,0,0,2,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,2,7,8,4,0,12,0,11,9,0,1,0,26,30,11,0,3,7,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,3,0,9,5,1,1,7,1,0,3,2,6,0,1,6,0,15,2,23,20,3,22,1,0,0,3,4,6,4,3,13,90,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12630147265603858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267383428543165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13424595500567946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978920183136114,0.0,0.13073653875183433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17602825587465867,0.0,0.1268011008758717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278896550768006,0.0,0.13641910018150666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664299438160766,0.0,0.42098233730188817,0.15860806165452762,0.0,0.17253155510012164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034833279946896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17135247884578886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25025950845847506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15213349642843596,0.0,0.13432940855826345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290464636683815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115736150702462,0.0,0.0,0.11255039109430083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154431650938812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16437382113649082,0.14490076827064902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15442503985363248,0.16365533568319665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09724058622181812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12121972175953202,0.12690326987624162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09726092841047844,0.0,0.0,0.17701998559515186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13109785859873269,0.0,0.250485358941423,0.0895296981445528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14071088749793007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105049566939466,0.0,0.0,0.107827289116026,0.0,0.0,0.19549561783734898
addiction,saandwiches,2020/02/16,"I don't know if im an addict I feel I can't enjoy things without smoking pot or getting drunk or dropping acid and I wish I could enjoy things done to miss being normal, also im only a teen and I see the path im going down and im scared I'll be like my father. Currently drunk while making this post, advice?",-0.5301086956521743,1.4760880724637708,2.4809963768115963,92.63714673913044,88.56521739130434,4.029710144927536,15.871376811594205,5.148860815047168,-0.7243492753623189,243,5,53,1,8,86,49,69,0.218,0.7040000000000001,0.078,-0.8103,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,3,0,6,3,0,1,0,13,14,8,0,4,4,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,2,2,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,3,7,3,3,10,0,6,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,3,3,30,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895296667051812,0.0,0.16989093571230654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13903328798611614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388105756736086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17791595500264548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790726478515203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908330466455913,0.0,0.09880687418260496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7511810784322661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09554719715245746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08493769207767747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11605082064513406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703428338219682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13222599520480144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16650683718572798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740610712940206,0.0,0.13854142788307694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310055780670145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19992683745607148,0.16759183287911175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,droogMaster64,2020/02/17,"dizziness after caffeine withdrawl I was like this close to doing a ground dive in front of the hiring manager who was offering me a job. Luckily he didn't notice. As soon as I got home it happened again. I had to have a cup. Btw I've always had a bit of a toxic relationship with caffeine. I liked the bad feelings it gave me so I would overdose and have for the past few months every day. I would put ten tea bags in one cup drink it, then do that twice more and have like 5 or 6 coffees after that. Stay up until 5 in the morning fall asleep for 4 hours. Wake up feeling as though I never slept and repeat.

​

 Nobody ever let me try meth.",1.5445177956371978,3.5756871716417926,3.1359701492537333,90.93836394948336,80.26865671641791,5.317106773823191,21.501722158438568,6.297961479604792,0.29120734787600444,507,15,106,4,13,167,95,134,0.027999999999999997,0.872,0.1,0.7964,1,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,9,0,13,5,3,0,2,12,19,11,0,2,1,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,1,0,7,5,2,0,2,1,0,3,2,1,0,3,8,2,10,3,18,8,3,24,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,1,16,73,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15490502821914853,0.2017107868300254,0.2262120709319075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15544083662240168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20324505906554374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200616710194343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18237180912689765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683978082179084,0.15685288708042475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882622498935653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14889395945202208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646259819231165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867396803893014,0.0,0.1833360129955912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18474103242066295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19036735153877984,0.0,0.2728539168587231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14859592773169394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435826985390854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119512286925384,0.0,0.0,0.12615090187125946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17771651530199345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871482527430073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998726168958868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19842818937613896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18290715305648172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12639449600448355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644939748058229,0.0,0.2262120709319075,0.0
addiction,Daiyahoo,2020/02/17,"Addicted to my Medicine? Hello everyone. I've asked about this on other threads, but I figured to get the best advice I should go the hub.

I am supposed to take 450 mg of Wellbutrin (Bupropion) each day. Just in six hours I've tripled that number.

It started when I moved up from 300 mgs. It made me feel really anxious and shaky, so I went back with the normal 300 mg dose. After a while, though, I started to get tired. Like, really really tired. I was so exhausted I could barely do what I needed to do, let alone to succeed in any way. On a whim, I decided to start taking 600 mg to help. It really has, but now I find myself craving more. It sucks because nothing beats that first-time misery, but I keep upping it to try to go there again (I have about 2 months of extra meds I didn't take). I'm having a really hard time right now, so I feel like I need it just to do stuff.

I heard recently on the news that it's being used as a street drug (injected) but leaves really nasty scars.

Any ideas? I really need help; I can only see this getting worse and I don't want to screw myself up more than I already have. I'm going to go to college in a few months (don't know where yet) and I know I'm going to need some coping mechanisms so this doesn't happen again.",1.5281020278833992,3.3194996349809927,3.3552328897338413,90.52521942332069,79.26615969581748,6.664702154626111,20.083808618504435,7.645422480735847,0.5836591888466414,976,24,214,15,24,327,150,263,0.152,0.7490000000000001,0.099,-0.9382,0,1,1,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,0,3,18,8,2,1,9,0,18,7,0,2,0,33,53,15,0,8,6,0,3,2,0,1,6,1,0,0,16,5,0,1,8,0,0,7,4,4,0,1,5,5,26,4,33,44,8,38,0,0,1,1,5,12,2,2,20,135,42,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10941516767574827,0.0,0.0980777602825998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10395024971640207,0.11075780719662784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13650640637487435,0.0,0.0,0.11338647634111942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382987339944772,0.0,0.0,0.07717625550848302,0.0,0.06118297221502675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10532928523840716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013511908993315,0.0,0.0,0.06472860289839075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163941991358739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09590525270751872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10149744136199522,0.07170241649133798,0.0,0.0,0.0917338904605051,0.08537237091283502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15731330934094995,0.0,0.28520523710472884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887544686008425,0.0,0.08990938328890599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13454816604164216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988415693485135,0.0,0.0,0.11330246071064776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921106450072752,0.0,0.0,0.1103184823687354,0.0,0.0,0.1062744748292934,0.0,0.10263236050227426,0.0,0.09806878239411902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496996248615552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11148543994024657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16022443660484892,0.10667455204105432,0.0,0.2976843136633377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833864032476172,0.09630512766745676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633385151745503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4500850201796815,0.0,0.09910059664051213,0.0,0.0,0.08571312259513335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997974050914143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131214666082888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11489654153460332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263911477349753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986103589675323,0.0,0.05852497757252913,0.23071488481443386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0681428058675957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08668511872828392,0.0,0.0,0.0591992317519289,0.07966688804571423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930414891554772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228284949105464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,grimspecter91,2020/02/17,"I want to quit, but support is limited and I really dislike AA. I've relapsed maybe 20 times, Idk, I'm not keeping count, but it sounds like I won't get better without AA or a month in rehab. I'm scared to go somewhere asking for strangers to validate me. I'm terrified to leave my kid and husband for rehab. I don't want to be alone. I'm not even sure who could watch her while I went. My mom is incredibly angry with me, she told me she wished she'd shit me out in the toilet. My dad isn't as harsh, but he won't say he loves me, he won't hug me and I want that so much, I feel like I'm totally alone. My husband literally got a new job 3 days ago so he can't be here for me like he was. My grandma tells me every day she loves me, but Jesus, she's 90. I feel like this cruel world is going to snatch her away at any minute. My counselor, who I've had for 5 years is also upset with me. I feel like she's given up, and if she's given up, why shouldn't I? 

I'm pregnant and scared. Why, why can't I just fucking STOP.

Don't laugh, my drug of choice is synthetic weed. It's so easy to get and so powerful. I've tried heroin and alcohol, but nothing does it like the spice.",1.0256650246305448,2.0939585287356337,3.3176792556102903,93.41310344827585,78.6551724137931,6.503995621237,21.240831964969896,7.07126945348624,0.2934785987958408,900,23,223,10,21,311,138,261,0.23399999999999999,0.613,0.152,-0.9821,2,2,2,0,1,0,34.0,0,0,0,4,8,19,3,3,4,0,20,9,1,0,2,35,48,21,0,7,11,4,3,6,0,4,4,2,0,1,7,10,1,3,3,0,0,3,12,6,2,0,7,7,37,13,23,33,2,20,1,0,1,4,27,8,2,2,15,117,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380438036388208,0.12514705541151974,0.0,0.2425659336476447,0.0,0.09364689882014084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796337767382524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947511385143932,0.0,0.11002173797509468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10356772450905476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934968892958212,0.0,0.0,0.1510429656358812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102477265545625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13580182665067836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07734515619582445,0.0,0.09866398256835196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17763176394949098,0.2509743408283896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10825945737934364,0.12236253996372805,0.0,0.13310420091966452,0.0,0.09365763865331224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620625123123035,0.10408616242556636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12399473440520807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3432624620145145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2113793187166124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11764529119371607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371491379624938,0.09347017001944397,0.0,0.08608387755949913,0.0,0.0,0.1130984110198636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11236309326550033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245530187815558,0.0,0.0,0.07501891766120013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093124679627473,0.23448024236647866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020412570380445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790300864770772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328866312689187,0.11036780511097667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10235282506190917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828346187391605,0.0,0.0,0.11189654295290212,0.0,0.07950497171357664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072104246065722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10855527402068599,0.3170006196757558,0.0,0.1346621991745538,0.11288271782998745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07541022852438807
addiction,Jellyfurcat,2020/02/17,"Fu#$ Why am I like this? I can't do it like everyone else. My brain is broken and I'm tired. I married a man who was able to stop and is thriving in his own sobriety. This same man is now on moral high ground and takes every opportunity to control and manipulate life to a point that is unbearable for me. We have a life together with children and 20 years of marriage. It's always been my cross to bear and I have very few things that actually bring me comfort...he has always been controlling but I found ways to survive and I exist. This is not living and never has been. I have depression and Crohn's at 45. I'm 89 lbs and struggling with daily life. I barely get by doing the minimum and every few weeks I give up and need a little help for a day or 2. I can't keep up without it. I drown in the need to do...forget the want to do...The price I have to pay for the help is hell. When the house is clean and the needs are met...the screaming begins. The psychological abuse is immense and damages us all. I don't know if I even feel anything anymore. I have been through treatment...5 times and beat that shit over and over. I can. The problem is that I no longer want to. I'm physically in a place where I can't continue doing this without help and its already not even close to being enough. 
I'm so unhappy with myself and the choices I made in life. There's so much more out there and I will not be able to....
Thank you for reading this. I have never posted anything but today I just can't do it alone anymore. I'm lonely and bored, tired and beat down.  Hoping that getting my words out will bring some relief.",1.169515364354698,3.2589129761194044,2.9057813871817406,91.77874231782265,81.92537313432838,5.612818261633012,21.19622475856014,6.794906146795322,0.3679640035118523,1257,38,275,14,34,416,177,335,0.171,0.721,0.107,-0.9816,0,3,0,0,1,0,47.0,2,1,0,6,10,15,2,1,15,0,38,8,2,4,3,60,62,28,1,8,10,0,1,2,0,2,6,1,1,3,17,28,0,4,3,1,2,3,13,9,0,0,7,2,32,6,36,51,9,37,2,3,0,0,13,20,2,4,14,188,49,2,0.21074627022850825,0.12484993436782504,0.10282897961403156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10913478910355072,0.11628187486757377,0.0,0.17535777936183164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20900367085457908,0.0,0.0,0.1734262236520945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11763126777560162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23636986218036016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06795695484672531,0.0,0.09075772686913963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08802573320258658,0.0,0.0,0.10887861658755696,0.0,0.1391959238905179,0.0,0.17756282207962146,0.10068854626817016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05327982322222144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155362037875108,0.0,0.0,0.11010622796286404,0.10108351290570164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21188817389017592,0.11133250263478098,0.0,0.10465929918237044,0.0,0.12158645025391406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09366048409265083,0.0,0.0,0.05791031931323979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29771264634009986,0.10295998242835804,0.10561156390034454,0.09304640883121476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970660826092573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774613786972971,0.2343985335272175,0.1625405156956739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11009249866583654,0.0,0.09961167229020199,0.0,0.10091833561456946,0.0,0.0,0.10082785935159844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054016505811172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10816400894214176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08809665925217143,0.0,0.11015887978191463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792274837574499,0.0,0.0,0.09701342548601996,0.0,0.0,0.07000522876487268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06144392247342715,0.24222183559892205,0.09988141113102222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12675090729052418,0.0,0.0,0.08694387203671132,0.124303610428356,0.08364028993797917,0.08452397297912614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09508286469790088,0.0,0.0,0.20315188400209105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06785684421963817
addiction,metalpig0,2020/02/17,"Legalization of Weed Hey guys, I recently just quit weed for good and I am out of the woods in terms of withdrawals and cravings. When I was smoking, I supported the legalization of weed. I mean, why not? It was such a good feeling, but I never realized how addicted to it I was. It was starting to ruin my life, but I couldn't see it. My parents noticed changes in me, and that's what caused me to stop. I am now worried about the mainstream love for weed. So many people are smoking weed without looking far enough ahead to see the problems it can cause. I see a ton of similarities between the rise of big tobacco and marijuana. For example, tobacco was at one time marketed as a medicinal product. Sound familiar? Anyways, I am curious to hear what you guys think about the legalization of weed and the long term ramifications it can have on our society. 

Thanks for reading.",3.6817564870259503,5.941277095808385,5.074155688622753,78.51310978043914,74.44910179640719,8.764710578842315,32.69021956087825,9.3871,3.3421220758483035,693,36,129,18,15,231,101,167,0.08199999999999999,0.804,0.113,0.5283,1,0,2,0,0,0,21.0,1,1,0,2,9,7,0,0,10,0,13,3,0,3,1,22,25,11,0,2,5,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,9,6,0,1,4,1,0,1,4,2,0,1,5,7,17,5,27,19,4,19,0,1,4,1,8,7,0,0,11,95,26,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16915021060449018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3187896023934573,0.16414152853434727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16032451327422811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07845490687852648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602861679577511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3072708712195369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17487960331665933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959598086387183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373140781826405,0.13029756210652882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400403655058596,0.0,0.0,0.15731059124974334,0.0,0.1690176325616124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967101476392702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17665372552663547,0.0,0.0,0.10514223923858536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722897801575801,0.0,0.0,0.10757025694415503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14846971776159368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16503459639220094,0.1552046568678491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15320441533709525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3709336714075797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982493477797227,0.0,0.0,0.1297229378767112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17607675648430632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14285293760693568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09942197223387586,0.0,0.0,0.0904765992897215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14001017354175674,0.0,0.0,0.14957127461839895,0.0,0.0,0.1575752207700166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,mathieufoote,2020/02/17,"Feeling the urge to try smoking I’m 23 years old and have moved to a new city. Slowly making new friends and starting a new job, things have been going well. Sometimes I feel a little anxious regarding a recent break up, but I’m dealing with it well.

I enjoy having 2 beers at night after I have had dinner, I feel like I may be relying on these but I don’t think it’s too unhealthy as I don’t go over 2.

I come from parents who have smoked all their lives. Recently I have been feeling a little anxious during the day and think about smoking cigarets as a solution. (I have never smoked them in my life). 

I was wondering if there’s anything I can do to stop thinking about this and help my urge to try it out.",3.0985528756957317,4.264617272108847,4.231341991341991,88.52805194805197,73.5578231292517,6.705998763141621,26.969078540507113,6.980632752743323,1.179536054421769,557,20,117,5,11,182,92,147,0.075,0.763,0.162,0.8882,2,0,3,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,2,0,6,5,0,0,8,0,17,3,0,1,2,23,32,9,0,1,3,1,4,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,7,7,2,1,8,1,0,4,3,0,2,0,4,4,16,5,17,26,1,26,0,0,0,0,7,8,0,3,14,78,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31295185173818696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11398123703235305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193133770030153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08932694969960459,0.14279686216551174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28013757236236964,0.0989509716641989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10701183352083796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15743589528054713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09283977037973903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374489691037397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978331159943071,0.06766857926605062,0.2776451322017191,0.12230612599021246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09245593992045056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14721331710738986,0.0,0.0,0.10682680310236783,0.4013190298433836,0.0,0.12998146390351956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14534206379590836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15379803085777796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735221714951587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13698910102739367,0.0,0.09803749643471177,0.0,0.0,0.11579985988882388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920193313943117,0.2662532311478031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18807725548100696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490727384561515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15020727574347525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891953579152114
addiction,anealion,2020/02/17,An honest post about why we do alot of cocaine Is this worthy of a discussion?,4.821249999999999,5.1344136250000005,6.1374999999999975,79.5575,69.0,8.9,28.5,8.841846274778883,2.178325,62,2,12,1,1,21,15,16,0.0,0.6609999999999999,0.33899999999999997,0.7701,0,0,1,0,0,0,1.0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,10,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7278366994764884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6857504931789489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,anonymousboi-,2020/02/17,"I don't know what to do, please help... I've been sober for about 5 months, I mostly liked doing mdma and recently I've been doing really well  staying away from it. Now I once again found myself in a bad place, thinking that one time couldn't do me any harm.. I don't want to relapse or go there anymore. I find myself so anxious over the thought of going there once again. I just can't get it out of my head and im repeating to myself Stop, stop, stop, over and over again. I don't know what to do.",2.204696261682244,3.1435361401869173,3.521577102803743,93.63694509345795,75.44859813084112,6.471495327102804,20.85163551401869,6.6274283507984215,0.09251495327102743,385,8,91,3,8,126,67,107,0.136,0.7909999999999999,0.073,-0.6646,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,10,4,0,0,2,0,12,1,1,0,0,18,21,5,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,3,6,0,0,2,5,2,1,1,4,0,12,2,15,16,1,21,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,2,12,61,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12155211949944145,0.0,0.0,0.2019299590084755,0.1772661202945961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679359687515736,0.0,0.14924385993615288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16336887200418398,0.0,0.0,0.1959836831117471,0.0,0.0,0.09338641647509444,0.0,0.2031687858940016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18344301744800556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11980840453898756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19307430398210415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19646616899512373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873253400576574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426718377703041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38071327243435055,0.12112163018929792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18674954398872248,0.19620734934892065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145080494454654,0.0,0.1764882379546791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905174312370434,0.0,0.4483142214496273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453200389119067,0.0,0.14190285194546687,0.10422712393529944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054279031040416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16071241498406605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,TheProdigalBootycall,2020/02/17,"Long Term Effects of Cocaine Addiction? Well, things are pretty damn good since I got off the devil's dandruff.  Reconnected with tons and tons of old friends, finished a lot of big projects that dragged on when I was \*ahem\* efficiency-impaired, and I'm generally just pretty goddamn happy these days.

Here's the thing: It's been about a month and out of nowhere, I stopped sleeping.  I have slept about two hours a night for the past 6 days.  And it's as if I am actually on coke.  Positive mood, plenty of energy, not even remotely  tired.  I write this post at 6:30 in the morning after waking up at 8am yesterday after two hours of sleep.  My mood is fantastic - people I haven't seen in a while keep commenting on it, saying I seem really happy, and I'm more ""available"" than I used to be.  No complaints, these are all pretty good problems to have.  I guess I'm just wondering what's going on, because it's clearly not normal.

Anyone have any ideas?",4.288602484472051,5.850862456521742,5.1194099378882,81.76782608695653,71.17391304347827,8.083229813664598,29.447204968944106,8.634040054169528,2.2806922360248447,748,30,142,13,14,243,122,184,0.075,0.6970000000000001,0.228,0.9832,0,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,1,8,11,1,0,8,0,11,7,4,2,2,27,23,9,0,3,5,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,11,7,1,2,4,0,0,1,4,3,1,2,5,2,11,6,27,17,6,31,1,0,1,0,4,12,1,5,17,91,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.13023403432809252,0.14548699532219805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09075481639148156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933157027113449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08135368232332138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17213646237783706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814658473871795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10310795631547592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584625400289739,0.2238735167090413,0.1067371428028495,0.0,0.14701708913659706,0.0,0.0,0.28413328810258576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262855018054928,0.0,0.0,0.15065584526867384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11862203384972228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11810456858928345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11345971878463446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065234937440864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252396362256139,0.13075877512081946,0.0,0.0,0.14003986915850278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12739907745099632,0.09252174982764394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12781418267587644,0.4073189089502817,0.0,0.12769959349312004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549548165482755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10612975482609678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12149354432223845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110396376912291,0.0,0.2671052315299064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11157538845860518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17732478529557102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533883102351579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607346998146255,0.0,0.0,0.11526333808033233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11999318295537847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14472759428618764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,GranDukeGedis,2020/02/17,"Hanging on A few months ago parents found out that I’m addicted to cutting myself. They made me go to the psychologist, who is also my neighbour. (Went there like 2 times). He wrote a description about my mental health even though he didn’t questioned me about anything, just made me feel guilty for this kind of act. A couple days later I started taking painkillers. Dunno why, it just made me feel better:Dd",3.9498701298701313,6.326996194805198,3.8714285714285737,86.89857142857143,74.06493506493507,5.9584415584415575,25.285714285714285,6.868970318607317,1.065368831168831,325,11,59,3,7,99,63,77,0.078,0.888,0.034,-0.29600000000000004,1,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,1,0,8,3,1,0,4,0,2,2,0,3,0,12,14,2,0,0,2,1,2,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,7,2,9,2,8,7,1,12,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,2,7,34,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20828416888824505,0.0,0.0,0.16936362345142986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15279102917979534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15722652892328534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16897750397415878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2114048318545512,0.0,0.12321822965114206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12619367182600605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932118797369652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20948799903438672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10858409676613798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030883988512023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19896013086911712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933425194547715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5423582523146219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19254406670488844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15250268460368668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21215009747736865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21403150916412228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13523361976132506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143653733607194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18771599128003166,0.0,0.11140892594545893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17711501661545756,0.17240240214793826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,TyrantLizardGuy,2020/02/17,"Rehab or just lots of AA? Hello All,

I’m on the verge of losing my wife and job because my addiction issues have really spiraled out of control. I take 75+ grams of Kratom A DAY and I abuse Ritalin in sometimes suicidal quantities (I’m not suicidal but will kill myself inadvertently...we’re talking 300+ grams in a day and max FDA dose is 60). 

I used to abuse Adderall, benzos (haven’t taken benzos in years), I’ve abused cocaine, and alcohol...although I currently do not actually drink because I feel SO miserable when I do. I’m 39 and have been abusing substances since I was about 25. I simply cannot get sober on my own. I’ve tried and failed. My wife said this is my last chance...either get sober or get out. I’m spending upwards of $1,000 a month on getting high. My finances are in ruin. I went to AA for awhile but always relapsed because having to go to work in early days of sobriety made me realize I use or else lose my job because I’m such a mess during withdrawals or PAWS. 

I’m READY to get sober this time. I’ll take a medical leave of absence and go all in. Rehab is expensive though. What are your thoughts on taking medical leave and basically living at local AA meetings for a few months and really work the steps vs spending money I don’t have on rehab? I want to do it right. I’m just wondering if rehab is more effective than doing AA properly or what. 

Any input is greatly appreciated.",2.5360886110356056,4.605573678445231,4.49952296819788,82.18994223973907,77.2332155477032,7.463386789888557,26.432318564827398,8.384062270229773,1.9929642294101664,1113,44,214,22,26,380,161,283,0.188,0.7609999999999999,0.051,-0.9916,3,0,3,0,3,1,39.0,0,1,0,7,7,8,1,1,8,0,21,10,0,5,2,37,48,20,3,2,13,2,1,0,0,1,9,1,0,0,5,11,1,1,5,1,5,4,5,7,4,0,7,2,22,1,31,40,6,33,0,5,0,0,7,18,0,8,11,118,27,6,0.0,0.4707055076179308,0.0969206898108115,0.10827200445627372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061414477784139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264108524286884,0.0,0.0,0.06754009774554426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421749445175593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11139432764477653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19215696681739805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09729448034850237,0.0,0.0,0.0829680000241194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05021850104006237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25944951526998944,0.0,0.11289017184260187,0.0,0.0,0.1094991784046032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10493562217799693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036628820976014,0.19711689909165075,0.0,0.10988138715312816,0.0,0.0,0.08095796757703183,0.0,0.21032825076693304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08770020049007222,0.0,0.0,0.22222436203028734,0.0,0.08443717701813835,0.0,0.09397772191864308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001062115670109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15855042113991358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272521595517532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08481759694491046,0.09447479382948164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215742573096026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09822869891258433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21727699811560372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22402582637411766,0.07982858052318842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758008375226293,0.07884792573125282,0.057913512058170476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743085385039017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17155887543956436,0.0,0.0,0.05858072166966584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09206939716359827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770685516459357,0.14461034149259938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06395796374560815
addiction,DeepDish815,2020/02/17,"Looking for advice to help a friend struggling with addiction to benzos and alcohol Looking for advice about how to help a friend dealing with significant addiction problems. Two nights ago, an old friend reached out to me and another old friend seeking guidance and support about how to get sober. 
His specific problems include the following: at least two years of regular benzodiazepine and alcohol use, occasional other drugs including opiates and ketamine, a general anxiety and ADHD diagnosis, and a lot of past emotional trauma. He reached out clearly looking for help, but has overdosed on benzos and other drugs and taken himself to the hospital twice in the last 24 hours. Though at moments he wants to pursue a detox and rehab, at other moments he’s angry and afraid about what the future holds, and that combined with withdrawal and addiction pushes him back to using. He lives out of state, so I’m only currently able to help him remotely. He’s in his late 20s, and has struggled with addiction on and off for about a decade. He had a very strained relationship with his parents, but they’ve indicated that he’s been at a hospital to treat overdose repeatedly over the last two years. 

I’m looking for any advice about how to approach a situation like this, what kinds of treatment and resources are available, or ideas about where else to find out more about how to help him. 

Thanks.",10.319698795180726,9.456964152610444,9.373182730923695,64.81953313253014,58.07630522088353,12.637349397590365,43.64156626506024,11.698219412168324,5.3371710843373465,1130,57,177,27,12,356,135,249,0.076,0.769,0.155,0.9356,2,0,4,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,16,16,0,4,15,0,5,10,0,6,1,43,19,25,0,3,3,1,0,1,4,0,10,0,0,0,8,25,2,1,2,0,0,3,0,7,0,4,3,4,8,9,48,16,3,36,0,0,4,0,26,15,0,2,18,118,16,0,0.08960674658974634,0.0,0.0,0.3907383209415403,0.10768989617097152,0.26268802709396283,0.0794309742900986,0.19152472190533315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0609356604272978,0.09396048675551204,0.06854891587670504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890205703314005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238062111498932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078307555697653,0.0,0.07485493868914796,0.10079552917510133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08189894301993952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2769198005443698,0.0,0.04681582671106538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3003075670497715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08824459548633794,0.0,0.0,0.10115510992914216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331163751554744,0.0,0.14608291624759012,0.10108031314839087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0437773301721503,0.0,0.07912439891044627,0.0,0.3009883963983055,0.0,0.0,0.07618045158302059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08408986154699143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18805441413744525,0.0,0.0,0.06814996861614793,0.0,0.0,0.09949768784439944,0.0,0.0855397788346315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17148310966184965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09620411144861904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007217375423832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18735285449228475,0.0,0.0,0.10168467414205512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249785321375612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880381735661235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625983131459797,0.0,0.0,0.15478291749679984,0.0,0.07393495031421009,0.05285238076938227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540761386241595
addiction,Emanu-Will,2020/02/17,"Possible Trigger: I feel like nothing without drugs It's so hard to describe, but that's the most blunt way I can put it. 

I didn't use drugs as an escape at first. When I started popping pills, I did it because I hated myself and drugs made me feel distusting. I took anything I could get my hands on, proceeded to feel like I was in hell, and every part of me believed I deserved it. 

I think it was around the time I started doing DMT when I started seeing drugs as more of an escape. Everytime I swollowed or snorted something down it chipped away at what I thought was normal more and more. Over time drugs became my escape, and my punishment from said escape at the time time. 

Funny enough, I think it's probably my relentless self-hate thats causing me to get sober. Anytime I think about getting my hands on some, I just keep telling myself ""You don't deserve the bilss."" 

I deserve to feel like nothing",4.894646182495342,5.767943525139668,5.191745810055868,84.4085498137803,69.05586592178771,7.530912476722532,32.235102420856606,7.492282038375204,2.100966108007449,717,31,138,7,12,227,100,179,0.1,0.78,0.12,-0.3255,1,0,7,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,1,6,6,3,0,6,0,9,8,2,4,0,26,30,11,0,2,4,0,7,3,0,0,6,1,0,0,10,5,0,1,8,0,0,2,3,3,0,1,9,10,30,3,21,20,7,24,1,0,1,0,3,10,1,3,14,94,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869273492461284,0.09403618821363924,0.0,0.0,0.09924612686286882,0.0,0.0,0.06439318581405347,0.0,0.0,0.1190127529204652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851467675071316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433973419359346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6125064720861564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914761712771187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900075849548142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136458352596592,0.2263937266180765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985177974446787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16556739224459466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09462684493656463,0.10429118704846303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09389188601161104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15482154017629207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999529480135771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034983772425902,0.20271633613816506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11439075935550065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11908587117205136,0.0,0.0,0.11389075214011835,0.0,0.0,0.10619081838571033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10048162440462717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417620304330413,0.0,0.11019875207331613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08132180972412795,0.0,0.0,0.2243037515738828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09232831300271517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20305699617320103,0.0,0.0838611796572063,0.2463829146675942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117362677317877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912334062158022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0838469355023443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018269002159954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,DoctaJay420,2020/02/17,"Besides this next text, I've been sober from all else for about 7 years. This is my Facebook post that I put up about one minute ago to my friends and family who never knew.. Sometimes you have to tell your family in order for your mind to be healthy. Clear. 5 DAYS SOBER... but I know it's forever...  I'm being serious! I want to make a post. I don't do this often. This is about me personally. Normally this would be a meme or music.... Today it is not. I've had an addiction since I was 11 years old. My parents and rest of my family may not want to hear this. You might get pissed. Well, this is not about you! So, shut the hell up and listen... 

   I've done many drugs. One thing I had never considered an actual drug... Weed. I have smoked weed basically every day since I was in 6th grade. I've quit two times for only a small amount of time. I've never thought of weed as an addiction because I've done it for so long. It was just how I lived. I've done so many drugs and large amounts of most of those drugs. I'm not proud that I did them, but I am proud that I stopped doing them. I do not care if any of you are not proud.. or if you are proud. This is not your life. It is mine. I quit smoking cigarettes about 3 years ago and thought ""Wow!! I quit smoking God damned dirty cigarettes!?""... But I didn't quit smoking weed. My mind has been in so many bad places over the past 20 YEARS OF ADDICTION! February 11th was the last day of that! I’m not even thinking about weed which is incredible on its own. But I can literally FEEL my mind changing. I have a better view on life. I have a more open mind to things. Not a blurred vision of what I thought to be an open mind. I have been depressed since my friend David died when I was 8 years old. I’ve written about him a few times but always delete it. Weed was the answer. Until I realized I was just asking the wrong questions! If you don’t like hearing this, I’m sorry. If you’re my mom or dad, I’m sorry but I won’t talk to you in person about anything! I love you guys! But I’m living my life now! Finally actually living without any bullshit in the way! And Dad.... we spoke a few weeks back about some things. I hope this helps you understand it a bit more! To my family, I’m sorry olives my life at a distance from everyone. I still do. But I love you guys!!! 

Clarity!",0.05712489642998619,2.227244911704311,1.8924132713714488,96.71246910911778,87.56262833675564,5.4709319499981985,17.989444864728554,6.912458644323713,-0.04817097878165644,1780,46,420,25,57,584,222,487,0.126,0.7709999999999999,0.10400000000000001,-0.9179999999999999,1,0,7,0,0,0,88.0,1,13,2,9,23,21,3,0,20,0,48,14,1,2,5,71,77,29,1,9,27,4,1,1,2,4,11,4,0,4,29,9,0,1,11,0,0,1,17,7,1,3,23,6,59,14,47,46,12,52,1,1,1,2,39,16,3,15,32,262,88,1,0.0,0.0,0.12300325832294975,0.20611403033668368,0.0,0.0,0.11173266858871288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05244041688136844,0.0,0.0,0.08571598186485194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05186278874866269,0.0,0.058918258419326276,0.0,0.0,0.04846101141506517,0.052621805544849284,0.03841840596417796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055738968810817566,0.06880509786549298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642564332999791,0.0,0.06667027267447379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193440365587613,0.0,0.054281857919774516,0.0,0.06540821358898148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934840871315311,0.0,0.0,0.29234798064806106,0.0,0.05264786269797502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041626281443404266,0.0,0.05309983079378761,0.060221443960998,0.0,0.0,0.23765095434093664,0.0,0.03186646353879472,0.0,0.0,0.06903892167488952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09738325815718174,0.0,0.03292706212761468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12480590958334413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14206363182350573,0.0,0.04224317549134917,0.0,0.0,0.0625963364683206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03463594597937132,0.051372384052449316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17806082332642026,0.03078999072804562,0.0,0.16695213019395222,0.05577361875587128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11376193991948755,0.0,0.042068528167424006,0.19168713926668052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06685773961408267,0.3181777297502657,0.07381210275266409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458223142574024,0.0,0.06702597228149441,0.0,0.06174943238592915,0.0,0.0,0.13226465946851004,0.0,0.08541240991519584,0.04793204367548862,0.0,0.0,0.06997989311234779,0.0,0.06016285111130176,0.0,0.11005899273701104,0.06584591281388663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120717760223959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06335580261848361,0.07060049612080688,0.26813205994697104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15640052315031988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0623316345078472,0.21164820340325294,0.0,0.0,0.05033047208107454,0.05269028330368199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05065572444240287,0.055085123776433265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560959862740625,0.04038277246382183,0.0,0.15010033145474233,0.11024814254808024,0.0,0.05973869944603352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06156458601723805,0.06560945615407056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434552575248943,0.05002494543884307,0.05055347296967047,0.0,0.056665496681421776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06075219203890005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04476992922981488,0.06890606211018334,0.0,0.2029246271298548
addiction,patcatmat,2020/02/18,"Gambling relative help Gambling relative help I have a male relative who has been in and out of gambling rehab over the past 15 years. He was clean for over 6 months l but recently i caught him in a casino. He has been unable to work due to injury for a couple of weeks. Is there anything I can do or what should I do to help ?

I have told him I will try and get him some work . But he is going through a rampage of gambling his savings and will sell objects just to gamble . He won’t answer any texts or calls . Anyone who has been in this situation or can relate to him ?",1.2090395480225986,3.3145051864406803,2.9450000000000003,91.46264124293785,81.88135593220339,5.628248587570622,21.69774011299436,6.816661863887847,0.4952350282485879,444,14,95,5,12,147,71,118,0.033,0.884,0.084,0.5803,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,5,0,19,1,0,0,0,14,23,8,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,1,4,4,0,0,1,1,7,2,1,0,0,0,6,0,11,1,17,13,1,14,0,0,0,0,17,6,0,4,6,67,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16554786609178773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17021923541865927,0.0,0.20033076259798188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24857993598755854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693622474040905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271875968356265,0.0,0.13835282798736315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4895190423573532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194311858909018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23239147246023675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24036809316049024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736372856595635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23261779947707575,0.0,0.16528009784255526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952732592354415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3544551199658857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15676767980928585
addiction,tvwvmm,2020/02/18,"A situation just occurred that I felt conflicted out. Would like some perspectives from (ex) drug addicts Was walking to my house just now at 10:30 pm (I live in Europe). A guy that looked like he didn't feel good with a cigarette  approached me

 ''Hey man can I ask you something?''

Me: ''Yeah sure''

''Listen I am not going to lie to you or beat around the bush, but I am addicted and feel really sick right now and was wondering if you have a bit of money on you and are willing to give me a bit so I can buy some.''

I felt sorry for him but didn't really know what to say to him. I asked him what he is using and he told me he is addicted to coke. I looked in my wallet and saw that I had 2 euros and give that to him, and told him I wish him the best and that he will be able to quit in the future.

I still feel conflicted about what I should have done in this situation. I gave him the money because I saw that he felt really bad and I appreciated his honesty. Would like to get a perspective from some people here about what do you think I should have done in this situation.",3.9594476190476233,4.022194040000001,5.309857142857143,85.61850000000003,70.82222222222222,9.095238095238095,24.960317460317462,9.04235418022936,1.47916507936508,829,20,191,15,14,279,116,225,0.057999999999999996,0.831,0.111,0.9188,0,0,3,0,0,0,18.0,0,5,0,3,10,7,0,0,10,1,25,6,0,1,1,40,50,14,0,6,7,1,6,3,0,6,5,2,0,2,12,12,1,2,9,0,4,3,3,1,0,0,15,12,36,6,26,28,6,17,0,0,4,0,32,10,0,6,7,134,48,0,0.10967672493734963,0.0,0.0,0.3586914572230243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09763553801023746,0.20506586509370275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157548412282583,0.0668579135392518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11509895630554305,0.0,0.2394771552177448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22447473711294674,0.0,0.0,0.12719018087168799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16636754263555328,0.0,0.3159205666413009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057301562039879884,0.2104238168227372,0.062331810283013836,0.09199163330047927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085972010381072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12655221509873618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06027545973141608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16074752345707471,0.0,0.0968465574904287,0.0,0.184201652316704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07603603148401847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11665469734579376,0.0,0.0,0.2107851552837412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09366332383305268,0.0,0.08721933377158386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.369843702312655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443450117674771,0.0,0.12277411420163832,0.0,0.0,0.08758797421016865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10336901528272788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702764167878002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20960162154085624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472547611297588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261228209665265,0.0,0.11893972969870112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15582239723305147,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,888deadteeth,2020/02/18,"my boyfriend “jokingly” faked me out saying he had cigarettes over text, when I showed interest, he texted me hurtful things. hi there. just created this account for obvious reasons. first let me start off with saying I’m 18 years old, and I haven’t smoked in around 10-11 months, but I obviously still struggle with cravings. I’ve been with my bf for around 7 months, and we typically get along together and he’s usually very sensitive and caring but does have moments where he can be weirdly mean. I have no idea why he did to me. I was supposed to go over to his house today and he said “what would you do if I had some cigarettes for us?” At first I was hesitant and even replied “deadass? That’s a mean joke if you don’t” he then keeps going on and on until I say I’d have to wait til tomorrow to smoke (I got my wisdom teeth out 3 days and they say wait 72 hours). As soon as I said the comment about smoking tomorrow he messaged (all caps) “HA FUCKING ADDICTED SACK OF SHIT”. And the proceeded to say that smoking was bad and will ruin my lungs. I was in shock while this happened and messaged “I’m not coming over today, that was really messed up”. He was immediately sorry and said that he thought I was “going along with the joke”. He has taken responsibly I guess and said it was a bad move on his part but I just feel so lost right now. How on earth does one think it’s ok to prey on someone’s addiction as a joke? I hate that I enjoy smoking, it makes me feel weak and horrible that I’m addicted. I just don’t know guys. What’s your advice? How do I move on from this?",1.8892466460268336,3.841915287925694,3.3681331269349886,90.09135345717236,78.78328173374612,7.031124871001032,23.76976264189886,8.021203637495839,1.2063321775025801,1230,42,269,22,30,404,179,323,0.172,0.736,0.092,-0.9854,1,0,4,0,0,0,31.0,2,3,1,3,16,24,3,1,6,2,26,8,3,4,3,56,58,30,0,3,9,0,2,0,1,2,4,9,0,1,15,26,0,3,9,5,1,6,5,14,0,3,20,11,35,10,42,34,3,50,0,3,0,1,34,20,2,4,24,166,50,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3164887936042103,0.0,0.09456492699815153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17229601104519734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16160192226565392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09866597156535424,0.0,0.0,0.08336090466729931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06241023031257587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693724621356648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639172965311116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09786212598289792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16462920849271578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08946457903702973,0.05055961572667835,0.0,0.16499405583031487,0.0,0.07739777584844593,0.0,0.1066057738860662,0.09581994902090532,0.0855755659572034,0.0,0.0,0.09554276846481356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09530137885380703,0.1116624248445262,0.10359691892708166,0.10924432710270823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601580804486803,0.0,0.0,0.053183612684909266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895639593094782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10563857065718632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06459636787784033,0.0,0.0,0.2108271554854508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15448570712870954,0.20570761806257307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154641691126602,0.0,0.06557552275488525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479514276252426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0619949152789071,0.09949820535141717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264315128768704,0.3682110769723428,0.3847867180618157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993355385749142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08199499052917023,0.0,0.0,0.10832884504785427,0.06849604461290344,0.0,0.07728261081717665,0.0,0.0,0.10116758577059673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06429132176617533,0.06200788426965041,0.0,0.07682652291081267,0.0,0.0,0.18345795177820748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11640535297927285,0.0,0.10658119175252448,0.07984741356225962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732209231505078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06874437838387262,0.0,0.0,0.062318290829599686
addiction,sillypumpkins,2020/02/18,"The importance of perspective Perspective. The way we view things, frame things, paint things. When we tell ourselves that something is such-and-such a way, we will inevitably view it in that way and act accordingly. It's like a power each of us has. 

Personally, ever since 'realizing' I had a problem, I've had a tendency to subtly vilify my own drug use. I felt guilty every time I smoked (marijuana.) I viewed it as a problem, something that needed to be fixed. For me, it was the source of a lot of suffering. An endless cycle it seemed.

Perhaps it'd be a positive thing to view my addiction more as something like, a compulsion that manifests complete with an offering of service, that is, an opportunity to learn something. This makes the ""problem"" feel much less heavy, so to speak. It gives the person something tangible to work with. 

I'm sort of just sharing this in hopes of it resonating with somebody. If it helps at least one of you I'd be ecstatic :-)

Be well all",4.003831967213117,6.224165322404375,4.990843579234973,79.65216700819674,73.37158469945355,8.728005464480875,30.016734972677607,9.354420925462401,2.936584972677595,766,34,141,19,16,250,110,183,0.059000000000000004,0.7859999999999999,0.155,0.9452,1,0,7,0,0,0,33.0,4,1,0,3,5,10,0,0,16,0,12,2,0,2,2,26,21,6,0,6,2,0,2,2,0,1,2,1,0,2,20,8,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,4,1,1,4,7,12,6,23,11,8,10,0,1,4,0,13,3,0,5,5,98,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14394736664574453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13844554117927335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15312902967988673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944128814408413,0.11125270025938584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06676537501929193,0.0,0.12678287347381975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12666856305562674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885062583192551,0.0,0.0,0.13114940959963445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12901998210726082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11225902152453696,0.0,0.0,0.0881403440387519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09706747668185678,0.09790889589131692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947637964826434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305913210415189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37904460459213296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020782841046065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10922809773177516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5082693156063691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11541220890232445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35089646092134097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07699587345634629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15883258140687412,0.11404355386347348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3144309601670629,0.0,0.0,0.11872334474717372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09612954868683668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,jebidiahlongfellow,2020/02/18,Quitting nicotine Hey all. Just joined today and started my Journey towards being nicotine free and addiction free! I would really appreciate if you could check out my video and leave me feedback and words of encouragement. Thanks :) https://youtu.be/5PfpfBCVRu4,8.147692307692306,12.514166205128207,5.70397435897436,65.74519230769232,79.25641025641025,7.728205128205129,34.705128205128204,8.344100000000001,4.2546205128205115,218,11,25,5,6,62,33,39,0.023,0.618,0.359,0.9544,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,11,5,5,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,6,3,2,1,5,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,2,18,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4051365234229453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29671995429729786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3935073370132253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3952790977197304,0.0,0.0,0.2380786140321241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26304485286829604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34215117022912245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3522661067930237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26399852720987266,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Survival_Guppy,2020/02/18,"Looking for reccomendations from actual patients or family - United States inpatient rehab for Meth Hello. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I have a family member on Meth. We are looking for ways to help her. She is in her 30's, a stay-at-home mom, and not a lot of money but the family is all pitching in to pay. Would prefer something on east coast so she near family but the focus is a long program for someone who is resitant to rehab but willing to try so she doesnt lose her kids. 

I have checked out the government find a rehab site but I trust reviews from real people who have recovered or know someone who has more.",3.597857142857144,5.23040672222222,5.150984126984127,80.57457142857146,73.04761904761905,8.214603174603175,25.29841269841269,8.841846274778883,1.974894603174603,501,16,94,10,10,169,82,126,0.013000000000000001,0.879,0.10800000000000001,0.8918,0,0,3,0,0,0,12.0,1,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,9,0,12,3,0,0,1,17,17,9,0,2,7,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,3,1,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,11,2,19,15,3,12,0,1,2,0,15,8,0,3,2,68,15,5,0.0,0.0,0.16630026366731362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6426076334323028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15575604127837567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142254492789358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09365551819144932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15081173671723908,0.2862110264494668,0.1906505724994072,0.0,0.14488057017392034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995877559174648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814416615963995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17046091820032044,0.1939693526946709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2887838166470175,0.1311936399354123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18163950402526527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12813072237044598,0.0,0.0,0.15689505330258982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937024121447756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157004639207704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13526733730224125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12105778557080812,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ozzafozza,2020/02/18,"Scuicidal Hey everyone I am in need of help! I am seriously lost on the meth it is destroying my life and my brain.. I am severely lost and I can't get myself together no matter how hard I try I go back to square one.. I lost the girl of my life and I am gambling while on the meth were I have no money as soon as I get paid... I'm fucking lost and I can't take it no more, people have been by my side this whole time but I keep pushing everyone away due to my mental health.. I get mentally bullied at work because I don't talk to no one and people have a fair idea to the mischief I'm up to.. I can't leave this job because I have been in and out of 6 jobs in the past year because of my anxiety.. I can't take this life anymore I'm a good guy and I don't deserve this shit!! I wanna fucking end my life...",0.6589686924493563,1.7906814530386796,3.3281546961325965,92.69341068139963,79.77348066298343,6.8156169429097595,23.116390423572746,7.554174236665415,0.7556405893186007,617,20,154,9,15,218,91,181,0.207,0.732,0.061,-0.9712,2,0,2,0,0,2,20.0,0,0,0,5,4,10,4,0,7,0,18,9,2,1,0,15,36,12,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,6,8,0,1,1,0,3,2,10,9,0,2,8,2,27,1,22,28,2,20,0,4,1,2,5,10,3,0,8,100,33,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891766443709916,0.0,0.11527156306479547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10920440736573546,0.08937573859400189,0.0,0.2125630465639753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12975408562294186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10294763439252863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221305695463993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.214910436836101,0.18218029781800776,0.0,0.06605769753706364,0.09749043804298944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508860446977735,0.0,0.0,0.10412163022205602,0.0,0.0,0.12354987907200528,0.0,0.0,0.07790829988582676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13121252182828366,0.0,0.0,0.23068595409341616,0.10331292608039602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12307360105743564,0.0,0.0,0.32839425209576983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5075267018756205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23427036002042176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618504236249483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575245129714966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11095722307442334,0.1611621785693173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13130981806243455,0.11931115206861953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17478498541331924,0.0934234068554036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777619699581354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07891434436871089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297696105963439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461875859635018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748500202494951
addiction,mrrandomfella,2020/02/18,"Cellphone addiction is absolutely pathetic and i admit i suffer from it a bit as well. I watch people around me just CONSTANTLY on their damn phones. Always in their hands. Can’t go even a few minutes without it. I do admit I too have an addiction to it but at least i’m aware and take time away from this stupid phone. It’s so sad to see our society just wasting away drooling over their dumb smartphones looking at just garbage like facebook, instagram, etc... pathetic",3.412871410736578,6.047942696629218,4.044194756554308,83.68092384519352,77.08988764044943,7.551061173533085,28.990012484394512,8.515128840125781,2.4967368289637952,376,17,68,8,9,119,68,89,0.293,0.632,0.07400000000000001,-0.9803,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,0,3,0,8,7,3,0,3,0,4,4,2,0,0,10,11,5,0,0,5,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,5,1,0,0,5,10,2,14,11,4,11,0,2,3,0,9,8,2,0,3,49,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5023852329264958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19172851314396885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20512330939629225,0.0,0.0,0.4329757378218181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515597681139561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24900295997025565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569800325215482,0.15219072470211106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13095341580002362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125719338837324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934953874863972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15974472747543175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18361549599851185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17324771921992188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13436018567794014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207175916428565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221173694367323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,keeponkeepinn,2020/02/18,"Looking for support/advice (opiate) problem. I originally started perks in high school just simply experimenting. Never really made a habit out of it until I was 22 and broke my leg and received a prescription for percocets. As of recent my addiction has worsened and I started snorting oxycodone 30 mg. I started out by doing two, as time went by (the past 4 months) I managed to build a tolerance and am now at 5. I would like to stop entirely but am scared about the withdrawals. I also do not want to go to rehab because I would rather not have people know. I was hoping I could receive some advice on the best way to quit (cold turkey, wending off ect)  and copping mechanisms. If anyone could please give me advice it would be greatly appreciated.",5.621142857142856,7.117184542857142,6.474285714285719,73.58071428571431,67.85714285714286,8.457142857142857,32.57142857142857,8.841846274778883,2.9676571428571434,596,26,98,10,10,197,102,140,0.08800000000000001,0.7709999999999999,0.141,0.8959,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,5,7,0,1,6,0,14,3,1,2,1,27,25,11,0,10,6,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,1,0,0,4,3,3,0,1,4,3,13,4,21,15,2,24,0,1,1,0,3,7,0,3,13,73,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16064656228853633,0.0,0.43200194345224396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11784550749717032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10303908479873143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08983063651711269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546475497072172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353134702225312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414851968443113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14136326130226368,0.0837493409018774,0.0,0.0,0.16246735869033194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15569626746230525,0.0,0.1463639265468653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08098641772384711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719937331089504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374714374984805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13943768782848326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11762311150253635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365482229494325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14067390549862335,0.10216240299563856,0.0,0.0,0.1617594564614825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14100573494477298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567378513709009,0.0,0.0,0.094404006273096,0.0,0.14550240619491212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14753528150893874,0.14913842558552298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3129111958405499,0.0,0.0,0.1232014074672977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16722489157438086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592809072781228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14395146831437167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08691805051428582,0.1169692645419798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13660624665246004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31404566159956865,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,bubbleguts138,2020/02/18,"I need advice on helping the father of my children. I also posted this in the gambling forum. I don’t know if I’m breaking any rules or doing something wrong by asking here but I guess I will soon find out.
Five years ago I met a man and we had a whirlwind romance.   He’s always been a gambler. That was his reputation among everyone before I even met him. I was the last to know. Shooting dice, cards, sports bets, going to the casino, you name it. We lived together, he worked hard to get away from everyone he knew who did that stuff, got himself into GA, and gave me all the money.       Fast forward. Now I’m back home with my parents raising our 2 1/2 year-old  and our six month old alone. We lost everything. He emptied out every account, would pretend that he was going to self exclude by having me handle everything, and then get pretty upset or find a way to get around me. He emptied out everything. I work two jobs now to pay for everything for the kids. He doesn’t contribute at all.  Since 2020 began, he has seen his children once. He doesn’t contribute money, and I speak to his mother and sister who tell me that despite him coming home around 6AM to sleep, he wakes up, goes to work (Cash job, paid daily), and that’s his routine. I speak to him. It’s the usual stuff. “I’m so sorry. I hate myself. I’m going to ban myself in the casinos. I’m going to get back into the program. I’m going to give you all the money every night.” He even shares his location with me through iPhone (his suggestion) in a stunt to give me some reassurance (phone turns off every night at 3AM and comes back on when he’s out of money).  We sat down last Monday and had a super long super emotional talk when I told him that it’s not even his sickness it hurts me so much- I’ve been with him and seen him though it for what feels like forever and I understand it’s very deeply rooted. What kills me is that he lies to me and excludes me when he gets the itch. It feels like I’m being stabbed in the back. He loves our kids and he loves me. But when he gets on these streaks, and he’s asking me for money for gas to get to work, and he’s missing the kids growing up... I feel scared for the future.  How long do I keep trying? What happens when he keeps emptying the accounts and I’ve got two mouths to feed? I am posting here for advice.  Do I give up? Is there hope? I still love him so much. I’ve lost good friends to heroin, I’ve seen so many addictions in my life. This is the most intense and recurring thing I’ve ever dealt with.  I just wanted to ask you guys who have experience and have the mind to truly understand what he is thinking and why this is happening, and if there’s a way to be a family? Or do I walk?  Thank you. I’m sorry to be such a lame bummer",1.3397596033140855,3.3702924973637987,2.951588940497114,91.998500659051,80.96836555360281,5.681157419030884,20.354035902585988,6.790227387841072,0.27877476776299304,2137,58,461,23,56,703,265,569,0.125,0.754,0.121,0.7362,3,1,1,1,0,0,73.0,7,4,0,8,32,24,2,2,26,0,30,11,4,2,4,77,96,40,1,6,9,4,4,2,1,2,4,2,2,8,28,38,1,3,11,4,14,10,4,10,0,4,23,9,64,14,65,68,7,71,0,5,3,3,86,26,0,10,34,283,92,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739973644193041,0.0,0.13265977511579136,0.0601700159489008,0.0,0.0,0.0703014460713311,0.0,0.05428225067016089,0.05648018184786637,0.0,0.0,0.046159570526939336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12085215314051148,0.19037113819353155,0.0,0.06377389572078802,0.20877688622852034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057759432426583476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11694228735384117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07635394947937528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344989276625629,0.06139980696736271,0.1715711817914403,0.12972124587616374,0.2440185509715169,0.0663980006147523,0.0639896186745609,0.0,0.10296392148775928,0.09698453981404036,0.0,0.0,0.12407906995349945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052442604929114484,0.0,0.2482452652166252,0.19534514675695688,0.19288400605367276,0.05693309619551435,0.10857695198895427,0.0,0.07477559830425763,0.06721018718159835,0.1200491101263271,0.0,0.06080562266888258,0.06701576673733405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04549739257375013,0.0,0.13617493541499406,0.06741846608006445,0.0,0.0,0.07266512228061131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13471747464672426,0.12066670079339585,0.07509728012241973,0.0,0.07460827520929958,0.11065974550906553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04794444952739375,0.06632381582122754,0.0,0.059937781034900516,0.12014031607610585,0.0,0.0,0.14819436203033193,0.0,0.1837884432313185,0.0,0.0,0.06881794061103254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853773141006862,0.0,0.054179810149642536,0.0,0.09979671893500387,0.05033089814690032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273983696069065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14245371152801994,0.07228817243929682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07537081746739377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300172930573853,0.06905663211505057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06795801811751939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07081186889031095,0.0,0.0,0.05614962983363803,0.0,0.06792731924956241,0.0,0.0,0.05225603030673663,0.0,0.15196839545894927,0.0,0.0,0.0542076967476974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15540882375009546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05455800503292384,0.05932862461874446,0.062493217387622486,0.0,0.0,0.04509532528674462,0.04349367277985968,0.06669008349613148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486062293808187,0.0,0.046084908934028994,0.07383209686540608,0.1326144687792375,0.14132740488712994,0.0,0.0,0.07475835586347629,0.056006704932760144,0.04003637903542026,0.10775726751780622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612496064708084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19766483851417865,0.0,0.0,0.048218795627355975,0.07421426353660926,0.0,0.08742279732544793
addiction,amzjoey,2020/02/18,"Jung’s Shadow Part 2: Opposites and Tarot Jung’s Shadow Part 2:  Opposites and Tarot

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Description: 

The Nutty prof begins by saying this is the follow up to the previous PC on integrating shadow and he adds the concept of “POTE” to his PATAP approach to addiction (as an analogy to help understand cravings at different levels).  He also reminds viewers of the Freudian concepts of Eros and Thanatos (Life and Death instincts) from a previous podcast. 

This leads him to talk about the process of attempting to “reconcile” other “opposites” besides “Eros and Thanatos”, these include forward and back, up and down, light and dark, in and out, and he also discusses other “metaphors” for “movement” like “circles” and “spirals”.  He proceeds to discuss symbols and how he doesn’t take them “literally” and he mentions that he recently had a Tarot card reading.  

He focuses on the three cards he selected during the reading, the first was the “World” card and it seems to deal with links to the community.  The second card was “Enemies” and deals with conflict, he discusses a conflict with a former friend (without going into a lot of details) and how at one time he’d had conflicts with his father but those issues seem resolved but he considers that conflict could also refer to the inner conflicts involved in confronting shadow/reconciling opposites.  He also shares a couple of dreams he had that seem to compliment the Tarot reading.   The most positive card was the third which suggested stresses are temporary (one needs to detach from them).  The nutty prof ends with a reference to the book “Heart of Darkness” (adapted into “Apocalypse Now”) saying his goal is to be the Sheen character who returns from the journey to darkness and not the Brando character who goes mad and he says he’ll keep viewers posted.   

​

[https://youtu.be/L1kVCAVnWBE](https://youtu.be/L1kVCAVnWBE)",13.313976777939038,11.094601283018873,11.278930817610064,57.76691582002904,53.46540880503143,13.9355587808418,48.989840348330915,12.230961643895464,6.22430885341074,1520,78,212,33,13,467,176,318,0.092,0.8390000000000001,0.069,-0.6819,1,0,0,0,0,0,52.0,0,0,2,5,9,8,2,1,29,0,13,3,1,3,0,54,24,28,1,2,4,1,0,1,1,1,2,3,0,0,13,28,0,6,9,5,0,7,3,3,0,6,6,6,7,5,47,14,4,33,0,0,2,0,40,16,0,5,12,148,20,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223826253417086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3591049167009501,0.0,0.2432726040996449,0.27282229393488794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863228834155882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963241993431803,0.12421624970529675,0.0,0.0,0.23147528331507716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729035134126653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943119666899457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09549037035634574,0.0,0.0,0.08673367925126726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06380132922981878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330315266866495,0.07524714417970972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11717281605067167,0.0,0.09978401089218886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07929427824587201,0.05484575543047504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09544150818871797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08324117351153798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15214386344940806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2431385556805938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751638108366264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3368784461727806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108456116956057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2678267839759528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30659851521360304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12859624066344938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08440738032480892,0.09023229329494226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06546112897817434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11686915458779147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10821698180622552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27282229393488794,0.0
addiction,_Kolossol,2020/02/18,"Sunk Cost Fallacy I've been addicted to gambling and smoking for years. 

Gambling since 21. 

Smoking since 17. 

I took up video gaming to replace the gambling and it's somewhat problematic too. 

But for me, it's about what I've invested right? So, in 10 years, I've lost teeth and health to smoking. But if  quit now, then what's it all been for? Not to mention probably the close to 50k I've spent on cigars. 

With gambling, I've made several hundred thousand, and lost maybe 100k. I'm up, as it were, but I still see the vice. With gambling there was times I'd get nervous shakes not going to the casino. 

But over the years, these vices become part of our identity. And I guess if I leave them behind, what was it all for? I've tried quitting smoking several times and can't ever seem to get it right. I don't know, just thoughts, just rambling. Trying to figure out who I am, and how to beat this version of myself.",1.7625107851596198,4.06835061202186,2.8034742594190405,92.11796376186369,81.13114754098359,5.601265458728792,24.38567730802416,6.8360192770164,0.8503180327868858,714,27,148,8,19,227,107,183,0.057,0.943,0.0,-0.7645,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,1,0,1,5,10,4,0,2,5,0,8,4,1,2,3,32,22,17,0,2,10,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,12,11,1,0,4,3,9,3,4,4,0,1,11,1,10,0,26,11,5,21,0,2,1,0,5,9,0,5,9,91,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16509624367688425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16725792843167392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369897100031431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15824641137834475,0.0,0.08606907858059695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16683256891111614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16097782161579652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08322962635851135,0.0,0.0,0.16035726093338395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3306378909208477,0.0,0.0,0.14329991354639354,0.0,0.0,0.15214578867425094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16399902406002995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16328217686181504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3221585340474861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586645869100892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068120909380932,0.13786887105731704,0.0,0.3421770806612932,0.0,0.2505519768745389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12094332253117104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12022956834793777,0.17661635335847642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682597847033044,0.2056409823486798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2925747875634828
addiction,GumihoGwishin,2020/02/18,"The Stone and The Chrysalis I have stood afar while all along listening and imagining your life. It’s the truth of you I am waiting for. Your honest being to emerge from the chrysalis you call normal life. 

My ears itch to hear the daily, weekly, monthly, yearly affirmation that you are still alive. I am stone from the anxiety and worry that I keep promising to push away, but I continue to stand cold. 

I want to keep you protected, secure. But, that’s not how this works. I’ve learned that I’m as foolish as the very first day you admitted that you were addicted. 

So as stone I stand waiting and wanting. Selfish and greedy, because I’m afraid to take action. Not understanding or knowing what you need, how you need it, and when to apply it. That is my fear and folly. 

So stand I will; until the pressure starts to crumble from rock, to pebble, to sand; Until you finally emerge.",3.5171203155818564,5.683974360946749,3.885656804733731,87.27152268244578,74.62130177514793,6.873530571992112,25.467850098619326,7.793537801064563,1.4028695069033523,693,24,134,10,15,216,98,169,0.113,0.789,0.098,-0.6908,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,11,0,2,7,8,0,3,8,0,8,5,2,2,2,31,26,21,0,5,5,0,1,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,11,8,0,6,5,1,0,2,2,4,0,1,2,5,21,4,22,22,1,19,0,0,0,0,15,1,0,1,13,91,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21512170120521665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15095892681973547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18540050780999187,0.0,0.0,0.12029214365135366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014986850051671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12726322563800346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22205407783112366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161682577719115,0.0,0.1678510398221736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22240822306475186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3507966284637614,0.0,0.0,0.10844885634078408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27876375399635034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15750902781243106,0.0,0.0,0.2926392991835561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933440861102805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396730557990934,0.0,0.1575900984351683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14836958431843952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20543023393348425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16282009148005366,0.2327838034715095,0.0,0.15828833810056134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436605096117842,0.2004008711469717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12707574811855768
addiction,pewyroll,2020/02/19,"Coming up on my Third month clean.. for around 12 years I was hooked on an ungodly amount of opiates all from my appendix bursting when I was 18, stopping was something I never thought I could achieve. I'd have swore to myself before this I never would have been able to do this and that I would probably died because of them at some point if not ended up with a life altering medical problem, Opiates are an awful plight to get caught in yet I understand that they can help people (even if they are far too overprescribed), but I am so happy to be free of the grasp. that doesn't mean that all cravings are gone but I feel strong enough to resist the urge finally and when they do kick in I try to do something to take over that addictive behaviour. 

In the last 3 months I've massively turned my life around, my mental health has improved, I've started going to the gym every other day, actively getting out of bed and not just lying there facing the wall waiting for hours to pass. Hell I have psoriasis and even my skin is clearing up..  
I feel lucid and clear and have even gone and seen old friends & family and they've remarked upon the improvement, it's also great to be able to go somewhere and not have to worry about where the nearest pharmacy is or withdrawal setting in and the persistent diarrhea. I'm glad to have my life back, and though i wish i could have done it sooner, and not fucked up my education by flunking out of university and being unable to maintain any relationships, I can now begin planning my life and actually stick to it, though its still early days so I'm okay with just taking baby steps for now.  
I have to thank this Subreddit because it wasn't all that long ago that I made a post about being close to suicide because of  this, and the users who spoke to me sparked something in me to finally turn my life around (granted it was a few more months of using, but everyone needs to do things at their own speed right?)   


The last thing I need to stop now is the Cigs and the sugary caffeine drinks i began pounding after first starting my treatment, as it's already fucked my dental health up.. though if it gets to a certain point I'm just going to have my teeth replaced by implants i suppose..  
But again Thank you r/addiction I wouldn't have thought it was possible without reading stories here of success against the odds, aswell as the people who spoke frankly and wished me well. If you are stuck in a similar situation. All is not lost, you can do it too! and I'd like to help the way I was helped here..  


Thank you all  
XX",8.516045548654247,6.555048761904764,8.033864734299518,76.49326086956523,62.37301587301587,11.14616977225673,36.793995859213254,9.653516015845867,3.2754680124223596,2032,75,400,30,23,644,261,504,0.052000000000000005,0.769,0.179,0.9973,0,0,4,0,0,1,43.0,0,4,5,7,33,20,3,0,22,2,47,16,4,2,10,78,91,37,2,14,18,0,3,1,1,3,9,2,2,0,26,27,1,3,7,3,1,9,11,6,1,2,21,6,47,15,69,61,11,78,1,2,1,2,18,30,3,6,37,285,73,3,0.1535420706722038,0.0,0.07491745613305033,0.16738352069354512,0.0,0.0,0.06805289072624306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08471874652611618,0.06139376922166957,0.0,0.08318138471206664,0.0,0.05220693661952568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050274935614172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05903218738025915,0.0,0.14039673173369954,0.0,0.06532649661708978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661314491700185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12259084959975405,0.0,0.0,0.09902193336498906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07967621409553231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856342348298725,0.0,0.07520638759097813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06799635045725946,0.0793250016935153,0.0,0.15211963438385087,0.0,0.06468290837826936,0.07335801421408755,0.0,0.0,0.07237289966770248,0.0,0.07763548435489441,0.0,0.0,0.16819783334427682,0.0,0.0653014034383867,0.0,0.0,0.05931311146188521,0.14194717019248754,0.12032909206644365,0.0,0.1308922457121309,0.0,0.0,0.08464033748361564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08172419466688187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16320804117363555,0.0,0.0,0.15437402016545235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560400545863458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12515728058502992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711282632356696,0.03750645001043849,0.0,0.0,0.06793995042885552,0.0,0.0,0.08380465391649708,0.0,0.0,0.07264260988099748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362616368122826,0.0,0.07733874137857266,0.07736714687857374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18383372390062871,0.0,0.0,0.11384949987892595,0.11842111047081125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805582873070619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10644673905445302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14514688596837294,0.08654780728143187,0.07352543037773451,0.0,0.08277216071350081,0.07345951266185663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767918106685602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08242336119304391,0.0,0.0655620447072205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629386029806722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17730628108549928,0.0,0.0,0.10867786789848656,0.0,0.061309447988600115,0.1283680462407746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08397505221444891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544452859903274,0.0,0.0,0.21204136447078265,0.0,0.0,0.10200652918588032,0.0,0.2262814572896505,0.12189525329800548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052122493610102336,0.16700968217584994,0.0,0.07992135526085949,0.0,0.06630552542531164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060937274452241286,0.0,0.0,0.0690263805978521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765658037407848,0.07400453848321756,0.0,0.0,0.07796471293854795,0.0,0.10907188166831287,0.0,0.0,0.04943802971918513
addiction,NadaAinsbrayos,2020/02/19,"Any good tips on recovering from a lapse/relapse? So I got to 143 consecutive days of no methamphetamine or heroin after a 5/6 year everyday addiction. I went thru a month of full on residential rehab but when I discharged I only had one option for accommodation and that's with my mother and her alcoholic boyfriend. Went smoothly for a while (well as smooth as having to isolate myself from everyone I knew because of there own addictions and also being hyper paranoid because of past debts still unpaid) then about 2 weeks ago little cracks started to appear. Mum's boyfriend won a hearty amount of money on the pokies machines and decided to leave us (forgot to mention my mum has a snapped ankle so she can't work and hoddles around on crutches) in a house we can't afford without a cent without telling us where he was untill he was in a different state (I'm currently in Victoria he ran away to Queensland). Within 4 days I managed to quit the job I had, spent my first pay from that job (a little over $1000) in a matter of hours on methamphetamine, managed to hide that from mum untill my Centrelink pay came in and that too was spent in 2 maybe 3 hours. Now I'll give myself credit my main poison was heroin and I didn't choose that this time. But still I feel a bit disappointed all that time I had up with it out of my system and I manage to shoot atleaat 3and a half grams up my arm before I knew it was happening. At the time of posting this I'm day 4 of being cooked and awake and don't plan on using or buying anymore but there's a constant voice in my head coaxing me to get on again. If anyone can help a poor guy out in this situation it'd be much appreciated!",6.183610369206598,5.987860080597018,6.714375490966222,78.32760408483898,66.1044776119403,9.201885310290653,31.362922230950517,8.6894789155246,2.3655074626865686,1337,46,259,18,19,438,197,335,0.10800000000000001,0.8240000000000001,0.068,-0.8863,6,0,3,1,0,0,23.0,3,0,0,5,15,6,1,0,18,0,19,8,2,1,1,36,39,26,0,1,8,4,3,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,12,17,2,1,5,1,10,5,7,2,1,3,20,4,28,4,60,15,7,64,0,1,0,0,17,28,0,5,28,176,40,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533940131845108,0.0,0.0,0.10302205986873296,0.12420388609619035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294113006551473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790336177138444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11525905794710425,0.08126375952295382,0.0,0.0,0.1034604824326501,0.0,0.0,0.10919256043722854,0.0,0.0,0.14169332458609712,0.0,0.0988947004848554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12688219123567795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329247730646298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12559258351233574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22485694814529675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142521355135465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110532359693093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058764348081276285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988567131057587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06072017805820645,0.11148885973013872,0.0,0.09747986189247074,0.09295178895805943,0.0,0.0,0.11507611920016228,0.10277300425785016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192752983079524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789984808354965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22890667225314085,0.13410233091216114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23066092836348806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12306024954362785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23296603956671455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11675865883643018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276573317935154,0.0,0.08543510742590144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875371204286236,0.08839058326520179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11094518599349594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11130667939912056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12361432641632103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13063620291596614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226114786279433,0.0,0.1856269602597445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10158144419626887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203306533093085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27959681489826793,0.10037680599745714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322471188842407,0.0,0.10449578024657777,0.21547429694242587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22406395710199947,0.0,0.08460957881681913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07484190022155822
addiction,throwaway95728495,2020/02/19,"Advice for dealing with an addict who won’t take treatment seriously? I don’t want to get too detailed in case she or someone she knows is on this subreddit. Any general advice for dealing with an addict who won’t take getting treatment/help seriously? If it helps to narrow the scope of the type of addict we’re discussing, she started out with abusing prescriptions and have moved on to harder drugs while still abusing prescriptions. She has overdosed several times from taking drug cocktails basically. Even if she isn’t currently abusing prescriptions, she’s still smoking/vaping constantly. She also has the textbook addict traits of being manipulative, lying to get her way, stealing from people, etc. She’ll place blame on anyone and everyone but herself for the state she’s in. If it weren’t for her family taking her in every time shit hits the fan, she would be homeless. I’m sorry if I sound harsh, but this has been going on for a long time and I’m tired of it. Any advice on how to handle this situation or should I just cut ties and let her figure it out?",5.073787313432835,7.08932004477612,5.688479477611942,76.65421175373137,69.94527363184079,8.20907960199005,28.980410447761198,8.841846274778883,2.5361962686567163,863,33,145,16,16,279,117,201,0.156,0.815,0.028999999999999998,-0.9729,2,0,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,7,5,2,0,8,0,17,8,1,2,0,26,31,15,0,7,9,0,0,0,0,5,7,1,0,0,9,9,1,0,2,1,0,2,5,5,0,0,2,1,18,0,29,20,1,26,0,0,0,0,21,12,1,6,10,101,27,2,0.0,0.3723138655215911,0.0,0.4567460869353195,0.0,0.3070641450544534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08376381300267692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14245914958083533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07323950496165631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319115307113965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21597312032898144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429397867159882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116817351090315,0.06918248529182992,0.0,0.0882514155842751,0.10008746918095547,0.0,0.0,0.098743408510048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641733956786923,0.0,0.05952848164849005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14041551470716468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057564613993790974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10710793130452564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09269522583938583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113263938979666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726163652919588,0.0,0.1094352831147648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11833101040814242,0.10751830583244296,0.0,0.1177367486786448,0.0,0.0,0.08874932974561774,0.0,0.0,0.11725243613137158,0.07413840785137328,0.0,0.16729753529456906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150180882635371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832313681599026,0.12038792595581167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06178077963651425,0.08314098526318713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07440719812239448,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,HOMERALASKA,2020/02/19,"Masterbation and porn addiction I don’t know how to stop masterbating. I’m sure masterbation is healthy and that’s what I’ve been trying to tell myself but it’s affecting my life negatively. I’ve tried in the past to quit but it was so easy to relapse because it’s something that’s always around. 

Any suggestions?",1.8026593806921696,4.6063466065573815,3.4959562841530096,82.07030965391625,91.1311475409836,7.3012750455373405,24.810564663023683,8.167268648758528,2.2444739526411657,257,11,48,7,9,85,45,61,0.027000000000000003,0.825,0.14800000000000002,0.7913,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,2,1,10,6,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,6,4,0,4,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,27,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32664194586514284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493169404935097,0.0,0.0,0.20375931028815636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26673505721178586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826522366382932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16466932561215736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21163819022418498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2860316309912006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31869438121282484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23067053207272664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25050487788317993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2823986098429995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618906435796481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40685947255986615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ImWitDaFeds,2020/02/19,An update on my last post lost everything I loved I was able to get some money together to get him to the vet turns out it was nothing serious as I thought I just be over stressing especially while I'm withdrawing. And I didnt leave him chained up outside I chained him inside in the warms and at times i would get stressed out and not pay attention to him. He just had some worms that I got taken care of now the worms were making him poop with blood and vomit. I thought it was something more serious. Still would like prayers and good luck wishes on my journey trying to stay clean.,4.641987179487182,5.595027846153847,4.737681623931625,87.14447115384618,69.68376068376068,8.243162393162393,30.009615384615394,8.472884824447931,2.012351282051282,466,18,97,7,8,145,79,117,0.057999999999999996,0.728,0.214,0.9391,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,4,11,0,2,4,0,9,4,2,1,0,21,23,7,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,3,8,0,0,3,0,2,1,2,5,0,0,11,1,16,6,16,9,3,17,0,1,0,1,7,8,0,3,7,62,19,1,0.1875731918740343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19124337021349874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16857869006714973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2939977528685677,0.0,0.0,0.15732749399412885,0.15001941667884286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15289718643776326,0.0,0.19861292676376385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09163878686176216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047582966700461,0.0,0.16929212901267146,0.0,0.12520656210562325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17998153648009604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17964326779605488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14440300710165602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999280651304022,0.1497961933287734,0.0,0.4297289150960881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29782432443826595,0.10937543660540083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12734988465478309,0.20402576976098666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156999136358459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664932275390521,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Existing-External,2020/02/19,"How do I stay hopeful when my bf has been an addict for almost 20 years? My boyfriend is nearing 40 years old. He’s been a heroin addict for almost half is life. The last few years he hasn’t been using heroin but other opiates and I suppose he’s what you’d call a “functioning addict”. I’ve been with him for the last 2 years. He goes through phases of really being truly clean but most of the time he uses on an almost daily basis. But now I’m pregnant and I can’t put up with this anymore. I stayed always because I thought he just needed someone to love him unconditionally and support him after his family has mostly turned their back on him. And if there wasn’t a baby on the way I would stay. But as things stand I’m leaving in 2 weeks to go to NZ where my family is so that I can have this baby in peace. 

I know I’m going to miss him terribly but I’m so scared that I will realise things are better without him. I still love him and want him to be part of mine and the baby’s lives. I just want him to be really, truly clean. Like not even using just a little bit or just when he’s partying. I’m afraid that I’ve put up with it for so long that he just thinks it’s okay. I’ve made it clear to him that I want him to get clean and stay clean especially for the baby. But idk maybe I haven’t been hard enough on him?  His mum says I should just give up hope, it’s been 20 years, but I refuse to accept that. What do I do? Is there anything I can even do? Do I just accept that this is him and find a way to work with it?",1.2772393822393866,2.635170759759763,3.186953024453029,93.39618243243248,78.63963963963964,5.838223938223938,18.19916344916345,6.367922702773337,-0.2951629343629345,1185,21,280,9,28,399,152,333,0.061,0.7190000000000001,0.21899999999999997,0.9959,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,1,2,21,14,0,2,13,1,33,6,0,5,1,56,60,24,0,9,18,1,1,1,1,3,4,1,4,0,20,12,0,1,6,0,0,4,6,4,0,1,9,2,39,10,36,44,6,40,0,1,0,2,33,12,0,9,18,185,59,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30674950106297405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2817648856713401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804452558429822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301892620096,0.0,0.0,0.07718486968790925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07212216969556111,0.0,0.057176247739642284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08295360022097398,0.10239928551371737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957746564601847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691477627938216,0.0,0.12390074603862256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768421867064124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08572646043833188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04900374740436926,0.08997621705555076,0.10661113511146718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08402143581678392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186318174931248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05154699624601605,0.15291004839178732,0.0,0.09931481719921544,0.0,0.0,0.0662498188806226,0.045823247830987776,0.0940067150806111,0.08282224901549373,0.08300516805136245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693063701352894,0.08875060995482874,0.0,0.0,0.09422916743440056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06954742246912328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09842153451163846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157028749785033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18857872810422874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12017429820297508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07458913943646882,0.0939046424800295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947176311696001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3998897667931925,0.07490439721116739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10643687053325286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246257767920605,0.0600997189981796,0.0,0.07446234447329708,0.05469231872037244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10202146636629933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24302496156919506,0.0,0.0,0.16596725288609646,0.1488993934959363,0.0752362786032379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09041453687540567,0.0,0.06828350246856879,0.0,0.0,0.0666289113430925,0.0,0.0,0.302002867169176
addiction,Ohhshitfuck,2020/02/19,"I see the red flags in my drug use but I don’t want to quit and I’m scared to talk about it I asked someone from AA if I could talk to him about my drug use last night as I had a moment of clarity fueled by an adderall induced sinus headache....I’m freaking out now, because it’s not something I like to talk about but now I’m going to be opening up about it for the first time sometime this week. 


I wouldn’t actually consider myself addicted to drugs (other then alcohol), I just see the red flags in my usage. I don’t use frequently (I can’t lie though, that’s due to lack of access). But I do drugs consecutively when I have them, or mix them with other things. 

Therese are the instances that come to mind 

- Once I came across some leftover Focalin from an old prescription. I’d never used my meds recreationally, but instantly jumped to snorting it. Then I did the same thing the next 7 days. Everyday I told myself “I won’t do this again tomorrow I’ll make these last”. A couple days I snorted it in the bathroom during class, another day I snorted it in the bathroom while my partner at the time napped. One day when I tried to go without it I ended up leaving lunch to “grab something from the dorm” and did a line. I was really upset when I ran out 

- I ate benexedrex inhalers 2 days in a row, planned for a third, but flushed the remaining cotton when I woke up with heart palpitations

- once I did xanex two nights in a row, followed by hydros two more nights in a row 

- in September I took hydros every weekend, and it’s all I looked forward to during the week 

- I mixed hydros with alcohol 

- mixed lyrica with alcohol 

Then most recently it’s been my adderall usage. I bought adderall the other day. If was innocent enough, I just wanted to get work done. I told myself that I’d 1: only take 5mg (my old prescribed dosage) 2: take it orally 3: not take it multiple days in a row. 

I broke those rules almost instantly. I took 20mg in 2 days, and snorted most of it. I got really agitated yesterday because I couldnt get as high as I wanted, 5mg Focalin does the job for me, and I was getting increasingly upset that adderall didn’t do the same. All that kept me back from taking more was the fact that I couldn’t hit my friend up for more after just a few days, he’d cut me off for sure. My nasty ass also rubbed my adderall snot on my gums not wanting to waste any. 
I’ll probably use more today. 
I’ve also been considering meth. 
It all just got me thinking. 

I don’t have a problem now but quitting alcohol kinda made me see some overlap in behaviors. I don’t want to quit drugs though. I’m really scared to talk about it. Even talking about it on here is hard. It’s just not something I want to give up. I just needed to put this out there, I guess as practice for the convo I have roped myself into.",3.4258788332086785,4.544269881326353,4.722686362503115,85.50268324607332,72.6998254799302,7.690999750685616,26.73186237845924,8.11559375814309,1.5706406881077035,2194,75,458,32,42,728,260,573,0.09300000000000001,0.867,0.039,-0.9862,2,0,17,0,0,0,63.0,0,0,2,6,29,11,1,4,29,0,33,15,2,8,6,75,82,30,0,15,20,0,3,1,2,2,11,0,1,1,32,16,6,1,2,2,1,12,16,8,1,5,25,14,68,3,74,49,17,87,0,1,6,1,15,29,1,10,49,301,100,4,0.0,0.0,0.0600328993019402,0.06706392983201445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26297703240378184,0.061601601490165185,0.0,0.0,0.0983921813603892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041834492663187416,0.06450720754053044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057511222433579534,0.0,0.0,0.04730370655243003,0.0,0.07500186021196595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703604441297644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05299249111801699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04911728527121362,0.06806872978065584,0.0,0.3570674082582203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05383500053881834,0.06295448796864835,0.0,0.0,0.3567079669810679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05448687489669425,0.06356475626102051,0.0,0.0406321978178014,0.0,0.051831745572527683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05232735839201304,0.0,0.0,0.04752881680008441,0.0,0.09642217768699593,0.05901387307480685,0.06992443338604525,0.0,0.09840346540317647,0.0,0.06776924444778479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05510823316558655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07289937559558701,0.0,0.06499736693676951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06104733146750545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10029110450469664,0.0,0.06513890235042477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030054690226682567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05165980303049551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058210018186831976,0.04106388317982625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06833286353498087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062115855695682114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04561497356283454,0.04744663638533432,0.0,0.06542531473475352,0.17319201948093454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291060268050964,0.1310297728087423,0.04168633151255554,0.046787371172750926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632703572172513,0.058864619195917185,0.0,0.06184279295761366,0.0,0.19629656775622584,0.0,0.0,0.1182304226564532,0.0,0.06074181121858451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12318092122121957,0.0,0.147066146844922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052124180089943725,0.14207917176343526,0.06084308316305414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05798018532190715,0.0,0.1850161529253598,0.2472300365030424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173993099660049,0.03941838526730244,0.12088265886694152,0.0,0.07174352647296202,0.0,0.05831207038201649,0.11756657280203107,0.13669799074262287,0.04176682674201063,0.0,0.12018870535070733,0.0,0.0,0.26565991001821665,0.0,0.0,0.21771020647261669,0.0,0.09869239542202732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05930135960248694,0.0,0.04478598989436823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,K3yton,2020/02/19,"Slip OR Relapse? Relapsed after almost 2 years clean. Relapsed on meth, used for a few days, then tramadol since it is otc here in thailand. im trying to stop and get back in recovery.. Is what happened to me a slip/lapse or relapse?",1.7028260869565202,4.1191227608695655,2.8762608695652183,90.82743478260872,82.26086956521739,4.5495652173913035,26.591304347826085,5.6839178017228535,0.8515008695652178,181,8,35,1,5,58,38,46,0.05,0.887,0.063,0.1485,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,6,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,7,5,1,9,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,6,21,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3722422221279821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2858438160049745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23974045819200104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19421792516415226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32872696174757937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4015411677341501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3075057732462975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3107898742952269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25238591240460906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3210625465680099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393872851038029
addiction,deepsoy,2020/02/19,"""Its just weed dude"" Whenever I try to talk about my addiction this is the response I'm greeted with. Everyone from my friends to my therapist have downplayed my addiction because ""weed is not addictive"". They've said weed is a medication -- that what I'm doing is just a way of medicating myself because of my bipolar disorder. I have spent years trying to convince myself that I'm not addicted to weed because its somehow healthy for me but I'm finally ready to put my foot down and stop lying to myself.

Weed has ruined my life over the past couple years. It has been a major financial burden because all of my money that didnt go to my bills went into buying more weed. I would prioritize weed over anything else and when I couldnt afford it I would get desperate and end up buying it by making up excuses to borrow money and mooching off others. When I try to quit I feel this desperate primal hatred and jealousy towards anyone who brings marijuana around me. Every fiber of my being NEEDS it the moment I see, smell or talk/hear about it. I hate myself so much for the malicious thoughts that run through my head when my desire for marijuana outweighs my love for those around me. I hate feeling powerless to the rage caused by the idea of somebody either taking my weed or not sharing their weed with me. 

Yes... Weed is not physically addictive but it is mentally/emotionally and of course it has a lot of medicinal uses. For me, marijuana used to feel like my only escape from my emotions and now I feel just feel numb when I'm high. I keep telling myself that I dont need marijuana and that people enjoy me more when I am sober but this only works when I'm feeling level headed.

What do you guys tell yourselves every day to curb the desire for whatever it is you're addicted to? What drives you to stay sober?",5.03875,6.3522120568181855,5.958586363636364,77.42050454545456,69.05681818181819,8.927454545454548,29.705,9.281916038205594,2.656704409090909,1452,55,263,29,25,479,178,352,0.157,0.75,0.09300000000000001,-0.9849,2,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,2,1,2,16,13,3,0,11,1,22,15,3,4,1,51,52,20,0,7,13,0,6,1,1,2,11,1,0,1,25,13,0,3,8,0,7,6,7,7,0,0,6,9,44,6,46,42,7,35,0,1,1,1,13,12,0,4,16,183,69,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5647333108021656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06037021341701531,0.0,0.07104961353097383,0.1537199716417801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21052573238659772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886939025800342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09553242512384856,0.0,0.05568149126383125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895193658292956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118862665631524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721251284046956,0.1942394346100072,0.07647069826445049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454886074384496,0.0825005832301379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.261933456374956,0.061680575490333726,0.0,0.0945801184615734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06670527196277339,0.0,0.045108546904695936,0.0,0.04906842479877067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08548915181992517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17048371079392655,0.17721737848457142,0.0,0.09731029107190947,0.0,0.0,0.0912218592905028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09746618486627902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674204117200006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06098376595047344,0.04218085827300055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07340230248761959,0.07792428888643085,0.0,0.05763193110569925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17395485246905018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06346907525427052,0.12803850051147042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313293504287711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08242031374546419,0.05985656883588465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08679450911910308,0.0,0.09183211939691263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08212812932669976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0688009785941783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202585137647197,0.0,0.07218324266568985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06491615839240858,0.1387919829072837,0.15092812592814378,0.0,0.0,0.1002461956104158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06854349587982456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17585547407375654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491382932750775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853185349446718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08003708768003323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06285579648640753,0.0,0.0,0.12266545036760745,0.0,0.0,0.11119892841369752
addiction,27hrowaway,2020/02/19,"For those who have been to an inpatient before, what were the things that you could have brought, but didn’t (i.e. you forgot to pack it, you didn’t know it was allowed, someone else had packed for you, etc) and you really wished you did? Headed back to treatment in a few days for the third and final time. I’m saying final because this is my first time going voluntarily, because i want to get better, not because someone else forced me. 

I know there were things the first two times that I wished I’d had (for example, my first time i didn’t know we could bring our own shampoo/conditioner as long as it was alcohol-free; i also didn’t know how much free time i’d have so i only brought 2 books instead of like 10). It’s been a long time since i last went though, and I can’t remember what most of them were. 

What were yours? Was there anything you were really kicking yourself over? Did anyone staying with you have something cool/unique that made everyone else say “wow I wish I’d thought of that”? 

Help me make my packing list please:)",3.6512137681159413,5.1476097101449305,3.934852053140098,89.89474184782613,72.67149758454106,6.91413043478261,25.01479468599034,7.413659706084162,0.9787780193236716,818,25,172,9,16,254,118,207,0.02,0.852,0.129,0.9728,1,0,2,0,0,0,29.0,2,9,1,4,8,4,0,0,6,0,26,1,1,4,0,25,45,10,0,6,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,16,5,0,1,6,1,1,5,6,0,0,5,24,2,26,5,16,19,5,24,0,0,0,0,16,2,0,1,17,113,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11514685263764145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08616379844461201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07533794985547805,0.0,0.0886651200729222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284940898174901,0.0,0.19704142372667596,0.0,0.09168323038261696,0.0,0.0,0.09529187460979796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17205155164733993,0.0,0.0,0.06948674121351407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27002187003407396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12016438045696065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10295515703259066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23605920266549466,0.0,0.27494403920859795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05629242058968156,0.0,0.061234080811368524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057766088687447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221933716972707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368557791200067,0.0878267195101448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05263886286902997,0.0,0.0,0.1907022249750589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10195111451257187,0.07192075843302853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792051201782251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08194508067091427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11827187560282552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13804866968007665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12205430924857293,0.0,0.0,0.1713666170847062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891279438121135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18258431860191066,0.08294751981130125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11484204848701512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14316224809511058,0.0,0.10585911309262937,0.08553765446947947,0.37696255958061015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10525140554843213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06355091122919011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988088093320106,0.0,0.0,0.3717049918567822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,dannypallet,2020/02/19,"Help My soon  to be wife and I love to drink and party. We have been doing coke lately but she is going too far. I work away and she is now smoking crack ad snorting meth. I dont know what to do she says she wants help but less than 24 hours later she is back at it. I have been to rehab before but I dont want to have her job impacted or to worry her family about it. I'm not too sure what to do. I'm worried if she goes to rehab then if I dont quit my social drinking on my days off that it will ruin our relationship, any advice?.",0.077795454545452,1.5275208250000034,2.726212121212121,94.94727272727276,82.41666666666666,5.363636363636363,15.909090909090908,6.1124844417494595,-0.6710000000000003,409,6,101,3,11,143,75,120,0.125,0.797,0.079,-0.7767,1,0,4,0,0,0,9.0,2,0,0,2,6,3,0,0,0,0,16,6,0,0,1,15,23,10,0,4,7,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,6,4,3,0,1,2,0,1,4,1,0,0,2,2,19,2,14,19,1,14,0,1,0,1,17,5,0,3,8,72,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15753889102496935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963274352991513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514682020141468,0.12396553174984284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137183361313153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397130082116303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5668335870485922,0.3158615745896644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15198056161789775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09162304815797008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21612003380346648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15876577092977295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15998249310316393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08860036832943229,0.0,0.18185922610197372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455041791660673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17147358474329066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17308617980030871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12820582592059934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16433991205307402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15194463665163724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19017932899072565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11736752691979566,0.32744634837580106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Matthew-14,2020/02/19,NYQUIL ADDICTION I'm addicted to Nyquil.  I love the way this stuff makes me sleep.,0.665416666666669,2.905966375000002,1.2399999999999984,95.67166666666668,104.0,7.133333333333333,17.833333333333332,7.793537801064563,1.1954833333333337,66,2,14,2,3,20,14,16,0.0,0.7559999999999999,0.244,0.6369,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,4,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7285563978152523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30158787233272305,0.0,0.2230510118087266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33439625461036965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38252745117546905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.265236631322192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ClearRum,2020/02/19,"OPIODS/OXY Class Action Lawsuits? Hi. 
    I have been thinking a lot lately about how my legal Rx for 30mg Oxycodone led to the total and complete devastation of my life and soul for a good portion of my young life. 
    Are there any class action suits that are legit and worth joining out there? 
    The companies that knowingly flooded the country with this absolute poison should be held accountable in some way for this.
    I AM aware that I also played a role in all of it myself - however I did not know that using their products would give me a seemingly incurable mental disorder that would lead to financial and emotional ruin to say the very least.
    My Google search has led to confusing results. I was hoping someone out there knows if there's a route to go with this.
    Thanks and Good Luck to anyone and everyone out there drowning from this or fighting this thing for their life.",6.214362527716188,7.4191665670731695,5.9818625277161885,78.73032150776056,66.2560975609756,9.134368070953435,30.762749445676274,9.339509955726095,2.755360975609755,703,26,123,13,11,219,110,164,0.106,0.765,0.129,0.4469,1,0,0,0,2,0,11.0,0,0,2,1,8,10,2,1,9,0,12,5,0,6,2,36,23,10,1,5,3,0,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,0,12,11,0,1,5,1,2,6,1,4,0,0,4,1,13,6,22,15,6,14,1,1,0,0,7,5,0,8,2,89,25,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14748926814801747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254192888281893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289583245926564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933722163510063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21137370956082774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074598600811918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17623156171048013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17692285769135888,0.10481629092049452,0.30938365994809264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18318142853418232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30407508271725986,0.0,0.2080460095238856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3908068485694888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156796496389043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18586289808369424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14666679855735482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16789890092865062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15626764379016414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16979912923511212,0.0,0.0,0.12252764838092585,0.11817582889754999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15928902139628287,0.0,0.15217474994004834,0.0,0.14639260833530454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620287401593284,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Throwaway29292817,2020/02/19,I can’t go on any longer with this I’m addicted to dph but no one will take me seriously. I hate the high and the feeling of it with a passion but I have to have it every single night. I can’t live without it. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to scare my family because we were torn apart by alcohol. I’m a teenager. I need help.,-1.8596103896103884,-0.01835066233766014,1.6649480519480555,96.84027922077922,94.58441558441557,5.157922077922079,18.089610389610392,6.742157984588678,-0.0376898701298698,257,8,66,4,10,93,52,77,0.20800000000000002,0.659,0.134,-0.7876,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,4,0,9,3,0,0,0,11,18,3,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,4,1,0,2,0,0,1,6,3,0,1,1,1,10,1,10,16,1,5,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,44,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945449703521212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28874896836005337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837372106293169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16470419156634047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22764517380952698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547093465186329,0.0,0.13661524947519388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15355415504408498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667548659560538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811014250561342,0.2854686202450605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14848834402413644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23858109104884695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20034109348098594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535532805340403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18308648643481304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705054779814806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031478673206568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593639742244356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604517398504251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,monotonejord,2020/02/19,"1 off of Opiods 1 month clean of abusing Opiods, starting to slowly feel better. I can’t wait to feel healthy and hopefully put on weight again over the upcoming months.

It’s taken me a long time to get to this point and I hope to check back in soon with another milestone.",4.02809090909091,5.246078672727278,4.576136363636365,86.74420454545454,71.36363636363636,7.6818181818181825,26.47727272727273,8.07648339933343,1.5141818181818176,217,7,44,3,4,69,45,55,0.051,0.713,0.23600000000000002,0.872,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,8,9,2,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,1,1,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,3,3,12,8,0,14,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,2,8,25,5,0,0.0,0.2901247893618664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567621300814547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882859438229238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165630481867892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24762203629268525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279317700762363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.486412063951728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21669767388727185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3908975509484806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23147641676795194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24615679170434446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17331659081273013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14278265467605986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2981794025537273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,msmvegas,2020/02/19,"Memory loss becoming a problem My husband filed a fraud claim with our bank because of a charge at a local pub. The bank closed the claim because a card was used, with a chip, only one try for the pin, and no multiple trys to pull out money. I called the bank for more information  and they said we would have to file a police report. Told my husband (his card by the way) who said no, not for $100.  HUGE red flags went up. Got the address, time he was there...etc.  Still denying. Hes had addiction issues for years, this is a first. Have you heard of anything like this before?",3.082978927203065,4.4599561293103465,3.8814942528735656,90.19070881226057,73.91379310344827,6.879693486590037,23.233716475095786,7.3871296695380915,0.7495911877394636,445,12,96,5,9,142,84,116,0.155,0.823,0.021,-0.9274,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,2,1,1,2,1,3,0,0,14,0,8,1,0,1,0,12,15,2,0,2,1,2,0,1,0,1,1,3,1,0,3,7,0,0,1,1,4,2,3,2,0,2,9,4,9,1,14,5,1,13,0,1,1,0,16,6,0,0,5,56,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359175372205496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17808600474680805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638415940206383,0.2390065193332819,0.18414795116380545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209775827044526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413530192126909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18407721635196567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17308188820753168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258745644219321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10572640938230103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466442048778769,0.16458864560647798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20707399678056013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4117086554663672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17282434875179076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12618971270707366,0.0,0.0,0.2067878842202535,0.0,0.14692737104989542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18690772183115265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717752339553923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006131274773695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537306038048457,0.0,0.0,0.1393601731886175
addiction,CleanRich01,2020/02/20,"Society Blows!!! I know that overcoming addiction requires taking full accountability for the choice to become addicted to something, and I do take complete responsibility.  However, I find myself becoming increasingly enraged by a modern society (particularly in the West) that encourages, almost worships, being addicted to things.  Don’t get me wrong, commit a crime under the influence and you go to jail, your mug shot gets uploaded to the web, and people condemn you.  But addiction itself has simply become a way of being.  High functioning addicts are simply accepted.  It isn’t until your life ends up in the gutter that people tell you, “maybe you should get some help.”  I went to university, where everyone partied on Wednesday nights and on the Weekends.  It was just what people did (unless you were serious about a career, that is).  Everyone was also addicted to caffeine.  Borderline sex addiction, under the mask of sex positivity and empowerment, also has become the college way.  Don’t take this as a knock on sexual freedom or me telling anyone how they should manage their sex life.  I have no right to do that, no desire to do that...I won’t do that.  But if you are having multiple one night stands, having sex with a different person more than once a week, or as many times as every other day, you really ought to think about whether that is healthy.  Again, I do not think I have a right to tell anyone what to do.  I simply think that there is a bitter irony in our obsession on staying thin when we spend every minute of every day being hooked on something.  Not only are we hooked on substances (and also making marijuana legal; that is a whole other can of worms), but we are hooked on behaviors too.  Pop music is now addictive (music producers deliberately use “hooks” that provide hits to the reward centers in our brain).  Social media is addictive.  The internet is addictive.

Is there a second of our day where we aren’t getting hits from something?

I don’t think it is possible NOT to get hits.  I think that our brain is wired with a reward center that makes sure we are motivated to eat, procreate, and get things done.  Our reward center is what inspires us to learn new things, to read, to partake in creative endeavors.  Without our reward center we would hardly be human at all.

Indeed, one of the best ways to overcome addictions, is ironically, to hook your reward center to more healthy alternatives, like meditation, exercise, or a creative hobby.

What angers me is that society continues (and will continue to) endorse the most dangerous kinds of addiction, simply to make a buck.  It seems that no one cares about this until it is too late.  And no one pays attention to anyone who calls this out.  We are considered party poopers, or eccentrics.

I am getting clean for myself, my wife, and our newly arrived son.  Not for the world outside.  But I would be lying if I said that I didn’t get angry, or even a little hopeless about our future, in a world that says being addicted is a good thing.",7.156480231436838,7.974708242258654,7.622835636987034,69.1703254580521,64.02732240437159,10.61182899389264,32.904800171434694,10.525883462305444,3.702201714346941,2391,92,387,57,34,787,268,549,0.073,0.769,0.158,0.9951,4,1,3,0,0,1,83.0,16,10,2,9,19,23,4,1,30,0,59,23,2,8,3,72,88,33,0,8,19,2,2,1,0,7,16,2,1,2,36,20,1,1,13,3,4,3,16,8,0,5,8,5,48,15,68,64,9,63,1,1,0,4,42,34,0,11,22,299,84,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7348076547352782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05191983739913275,0.0,0.0,0.12439220573818124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10876323847699898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22905502947778195,0.0,0.0,0.054412906718987394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576249702968926,0.052944190457118914,0.0,0.052864074592053695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05436326955043791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10031601629846326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05417174698017824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05306009421524077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053055036690065664,0.0,0.0,0.045923313949474194,0.0,0.0,0.03424614056838197,0.0,0.13105645326453866,0.0990889391800841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0473895518544464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21671401028876897,0.0,0.02946729568556403,0.04348894483820104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04644701494923871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0347536622481756,0.05478189918922172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05399333033626258,0.028495158193295227,0.0,0.058488553878444025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07324574492258222,0.02533107243810519,0.051966873194111265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10382993718177654,0.052567308351439836,0.05208984476322945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050076621114328895,0.0,0.09731458568993168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055218081463038964,0.1405383952067395,0.03943392127573054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10783785417060217,0.04527302950673999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058452580156078814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05186358394775245,0.0,0.03321615115766005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855846944761156,0.04932079806712557,0.04123284541353278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04720188546548147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052854089432368107,0.0,0.11974895647702795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0552647243995941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04886758982663148,0.0,0.11695323267242548,0.0,0.13595638332282714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13778615567445526,0.16611549895674835,0.0,0.0,0.030233891155502287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06236862785803075,0.04478136606177723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12346728465910402,0.04159058367711952,0.0,0.0,0.04806505483212579,0.0,0.057888173960308285,0.0,0.049981118568811496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07366486923533208,0.05668934642282116,0.0,0.0
addiction,jfs0612,2020/02/20,"Need some guidance So short story I had to use cpr on my brother the other day bc of an OD until the EMTs showed up. He’s doing ok now but I’m having trouble processing it. I’m not sure how I feel. I just feel very weird but not sad or angry, just disassociated. My family asks how I’m doing but I don’t know how to put this into words. Anyone have experience with this or any advice?",0.20520749665328,2.243410216867474,3.360883534136548,87.3925167336011,85.3855421686747,5.616599732262381,16.451137884872825,6.937597516519254,-0.06316492637215497,300,6,66,4,9,108,62,83,0.1,0.8,0.1,0.0004,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,3,1,6,0,0,4,1,22,15,10,1,1,9,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,2,6,2,8,14,1,8,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,3,3,42,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.305344600868336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21249207797163425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21848810195354126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921196931916869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015189718833803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056581541536729,0.29457135076320473,0.0,0.3159910629335005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17172676491705244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23169446793643425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3141212608679844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945017203728125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2698759933245343,0.0,0.25782261350462105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Vivid-Product,2020/02/20,"Searching for happiness So I’m a middle class mom, good job, house. I started recreational use of lyrica, adderal, Gabbs. Not at once lol I’ll switch off days and stuff and not all the time. It actually feels like it helps with my depression and anxiety, actually helps me get things done around the house. but I’m finding it harder to find these things... any advice?!",2.198985507246377,5.052402811594206,2.9623188405797087,87.4794202898551,86.10144927536231,6.544927536231885,22.159420289855074,7.793537801064563,1.3626637681159428,290,10,55,6,9,91,55,69,0.075,0.7859999999999999,0.139,0.5463,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,1,1,13,7,5,0,0,3,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,3,3,7,6,1,7,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,4,29,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.3531606078853133,0.0,0.0,0.17682145097343882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12305165193835188,0.0,0.1384256325124353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16108313957955553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166972558406551,0.0,0.15585126931970894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18517384216522376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09149334568819434,0.12927013510268276,0.0,0.0,0.3307685568660509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453848162570372,0.0,0.0,0.15177159269136853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19262377393218186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425728511412505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4175821333972506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17956414683892885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840263250384911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21192550045286407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19270497824646285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12807676565574602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20714352700795596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404291984472756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10551292589415412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15628199937656326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,sany6,2020/02/20,"I can't sleep I take codeine.  3 days ago i took a different codeine syrup and I got severe crazy diarrhea for that day. Since the day after that I'm getting low and low energy and can't sleep even though i feel sleepy.  My heart rate goes up and I'm feeling terrified.  I'm quitting it from right now. But i need to know, will i be okay? I really feel like I'm gonna die. I don't have any fear of death but i just can't imagine the pain my family will go through. I am quitting codeine it from right on. I will be okay, right!!?",-0.6535527950310538,1.4068258869565256,1.363136645962733,99.92010869565216,90.13043478260867,5.372670807453416,18.649068322981364,6.868970318607317,-0.03896273291925478,407,12,102,6,14,134,70,115,0.14,0.73,0.13,-0.2704,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,4,7,0,1,3,2,11,4,3,0,0,13,26,7,2,1,3,0,3,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,5,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,2,3,14,3,9,18,0,15,0,2,0,0,0,7,0,0,7,51,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14445484853567048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11081887986540302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3152885549746234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691275023917147,0.17025927121163964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076340206845752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536248666003199,0.18337611925889236,0.2471935140549792,0.11641917313963117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851402518609438,0.0,0.09261433436580516,0.0,0.13033457700384474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19310924149198774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895589516215167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961437783978312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12083331130656885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734016989575603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3466575764852875,0.0,0.0,0.1043968120619811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41750270136070256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840992321708453,0.0,0.13480279413321847,0.0,0.3261568227591247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252618305466212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16010808304332652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810553594603399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,n4saw,2020/02/20,"I'm worried So I'm not going to tell you my full story but in short I'm a 20 year old student and I'm a bit worried. I started drinking very early at an age of 13-14 years and smoked my first joint at 15-16. Between the ages of 16 and 19 my use had extended to mdma, speed, coke, opioids (mostly tramadol), benzos, psychedelics etc.

After not having failed a single grade my whole life, I'm currently doing my third year of high school for the second time. After I had a mental breakdown sometime late spring last year, my brother took me with him to another city to work at a restaurant for a couple of months. I got clean and as I came back I wasn't using anything apart from the casual joint here and there every other week. I thought I was finished.

Last semester I came back to school motivated and excited to kind of prove my self. It went great, but sometime this winter I had my first relapse. I began drinking in the evenings as I have a lot of anxiety towards the nights. As my stepdad found I had been stealing his booze he put a padlock on the cabinet and since then I have used several other drugs. Benzos, weed, tramadol, speed. I can just wake up one day and it's like I'm a different person. I don't care - just wanna get high - fuck it.

So here I am, once again, beginning to fall behind in class, with a beer on my desk. I'm really fucking worried. I feel like I have so much potential, it's all I've heard all my life. I feel like I'm throwing my whole life away.

I can't trust my self. It feels like I've lost all control and I'm starting to lose hope. Most of my friends and family think I'm clean for good. I'm hiding my use. I don't know who to talk to so I guess that's why I'm making this post (maybe it's just cause I'm drunk and emotional).

Anyway good luck everyone, addiction sucks.",1.1461761831634796,3.207878413793108,2.9274863883847573,91.74444192377493,81.83819628647215,5.878235376239005,22.12264414351529,7.0608816371341465,0.6447283819628646,1410,46,305,18,38,468,206,377,0.107,0.743,0.15,0.9638,2,0,6,0,0,0,48.0,0,1,0,8,15,22,3,0,17,0,17,14,1,8,4,48,61,21,0,2,7,1,3,4,1,0,5,1,2,3,12,15,6,1,9,5,0,8,6,7,0,5,17,4,41,15,42,44,13,59,0,3,0,2,13,16,3,6,38,177,53,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189888323261956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08839536168367564,0.06448887634769232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06937129451419645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920214242934615,0.12964220306865035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09203320575830587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19283230957305936,0.08594894463710477,0.08659879388099281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454904211307698,0.0,0.09327577828460408,0.0,0.054366194796667884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880750210426356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16516280701788233,0.09776064089250402,0.0,0.0,0.09482557578393858,0.0,0.0,0.09401621088360224,0.05567901571077179,0.0,0.0710259530875077,0.08055177181725098,0.0,0.0,0.07947005330286097,0.0,0.12787305969924145,0.18067070975465813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14341020011157896,0.0,0.0924300356798876,0.06512957406815184,0.15586703356064896,0.044043002303860886,0.0,0.04790934079577062,0.1414128192376037,0.0674220001677763,0.09294048134424583,0.09286538826266023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17813407146022853,0.0,0.08372841101348556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08778494271688071,0.04632879309589232,0.13743066541483515,0.09509349247094068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17862966079994946,0.16473788366729172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943095622927733,0.09202284756242743,0.07166840874748667,0.0,0.0,0.05627056175910692,0.0,0.0846901646961425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495405482660705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06728704576954607,0.0,0.06196982211716402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791093573697399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884581302624852,0.08977620176382063,0.05712351366322455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07360705992976391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073560542775812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08474426749262406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054004409590791606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17063116151547708,0.0,0.0,0.17588549867153366,0.09523442472172268,0.0,0.06973340626561791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16674869513670784,0.0,0.1193352207026222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0677567339495318,0.0736814667519099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0540157070122806,0.0,0.06692437584673161,0.0491557084303737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09365983115556308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912307598019443,0.0,0.069555904825129,0.0,0.0,0.06761996311247162,0.0,0.0,0.07814646844053069,0.07606717451731715,0.18823473208421632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06137103009127665,0.25683066125925824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21714442146224366
addiction,intpintraining,2020/02/20,"Today I wrote a letter to my addiction I found this suprisingly therapuetic. I have never posted on reddit before, so I made an account just to share this thinking maybe it would help someone else the way it did for me. Sorry for any grammer, spelling, or structuring errors as I was a little emotional writing this. 

​

Dear Addiction,

I don’t remember the first time we met. I know it was a long time ago, and over time we became friends. We became the best of friends. We got closer and closer to the point that I didn’t really think I needed anyone else. When I was down you picked me up. When I was sad you made me happy. When I was alone you comforted me. I really didn’t think I needed anyone else except for you.

The pain of hiding my secrets from being molested and coping with the fact that I never knew my dad you showed me how to make myself feel better with overeating food and sweet treats when I was far to young to deal with them. When I was struggling to make friends and being bullied every day in grade school for my weight and being different you showed me how to stave off the suffering and isolation by watching porn compulsively and hiding who I was and how I felt from other people. When I was struggling to fit in with people in high school you told me how to use Adderall and lying to make people think I was someone I wasn’t, and you told me this was okay. That it was normal. 

Over the years I started to believe you. I believed you man. I trusted you. You were supposed to protect me and take care of me. No one else did. No one else did. The truth is that you were the one that was sad and alone, and you didn’t want anyone else to have me like a controlling and possessive stalker. You made me believe that no one else would care. That no one else wanted to listen. I believed I was a weak loser who was dumb and needed you to survive. For while there I honestly believed you when you made me think that you were the only one who would ever be there for me. You gaslighted me and made me believe that all this was normal behavior, and that I was not strong enough to live life on my own terms and get what I want.

You made me think it was normal to avoid your family. Normal to live with shame. Normal to drink and do drugs every day. Normal to watch progressively more and more taboo porn and wake up with a twisted sexuality every day. Normal to avoid my girlfriend or lie to her. Normal for my bad behaviors and emotional burdens to become hers as well. I know now that it’s not, and that you just wanted me for yourself. Normal to avoid my son because I wanted to hang out with you instead. Normal to think that giving into weakness was okay instead of becoming stronger. None of that shit is normal, and you led me to believe with a million reasons and excuses that it was just who I was.

I have decided we can’t be friends anymore. You just aren’t good for my life. My family, my health mentally, sexually, and physically is more important than the temporary relief and high we find together. I’m sorry, it’s not easy for me to write this letter, but it must be done. I need to go on to make new friends and relationships. I need to be able to show my family and girlfriend that I love them in a healthy way. I can’t do that with you hanging around anymore. You need to go. I appreciate the life lessons you taught me, but now it’s time to grow. 

Don’t try to come back or sneak back in because I know your tricks now. I know I can’t trust you. I know now that you never really were my friend but my user and manipulator. 

Sincerely, 

Your old friend.",3.746713156671319,5.113040354253837,4.663368200836821,85.2777208275221,72.23570432357045,7.5426313342631355,25.272198977219897,8.045849151850463,1.385197861459786,2822,86,569,40,54,916,269,717,0.086,0.785,0.129,0.9887,4,6,2,0,0,0,71.0,6,33,2,9,29,49,4,6,22,2,58,18,2,20,8,145,114,52,0,26,14,2,3,1,9,4,10,1,0,1,40,50,3,6,22,4,1,7,21,19,1,8,48,7,122,30,85,55,9,71,0,4,2,3,76,26,2,3,36,419,162,4,0.043119825788294056,0.0,0.0,0.09401394966915208,0.0,0.0,0.03822312385991082,0.0,0.0,0.08931827051524717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046720313226343686,0.05239530803290388,0.029322960177871168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552656107832078,0.0904511543311876,0.13254407155610484,0.0,0.03838578688552822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06631296880639287,0.03600325341689911,0.0525708911535817,0.09524491966102612,0.03669179582060225,0.34006894366244345,0.045251596882971416,0.038135981814271434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08792707235381685,0.0,0.0,0.037143911826309,0.0,0.0,0.04836255117477983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342616125779594,0.044454647002534535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045051040361678535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0441265526651733,0.0,0.04224101338340185,0.050005308275768164,0.0,0.2881686514473981,0.09700800048389717,0.0,0.04455430669530148,0.0,0.0,0.039004351082127214,0.10899093890842323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219486025609514,0.0,0.021802679524361185,0.0,0.041401794848431615,0.0,0.03941073958899116,0.03667770178774971,0.052140664502561836,0.0472786633344118,0.23319989308478356,0.0,0.022528329269205952,0.04136446601723075,0.04901198138452551,0.03616686406494325,0.03448686375394925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04590185636154151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0458343584389989,0.0,0.0,0.028902310298975536,0.09111692677609534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11848764286190408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137042447705844,0.021066168813629882,0.04321739342456099,0.07615119232578726,0.038159688920854605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038917326284334086,0.2448061305279252,0.11513127417848372,0.0,0.04331966070284739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04345464250333827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918368267161483,0.09977000370261613,0.04164539644297608,0.0,0.0,0.4647310147330515,0.0,0.0,0.045247003629379834,0.0,0.17531465942406418,0.03279457056576441,0.045882534812510256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968157372761577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040762172929342026,0.0,0.041296873684421455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287099363867152,0.04433436250721003,0.0,0.04629455575230948,0.048846356910460485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727913151076795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044261881523137085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07307057692259593,0.0,0.0,0.0965382293957235,0.03052043462947988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015640846368322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032420742664265735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19340610284019127,0.0,0.0,0.10057406871043076,0.0,0.0408725529784114,0.08240568280050678,0.0,0.0292755312505494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037241684870130236,0.0,0.0,0.12716595223049476,0.06845302129613108,0.0,0.052508331261440666,0.0387699018665728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189326121528923,0.0,0.05239530803290388,0.02776775406864024
addiction,Dave234567,2020/02/20,"Anyone experience withdrawals from stopping heavy daily weed use? I had a surprise when I tried to stop everything for a week. Day 3 I was lethargic, had trouble focusing and blurry vision, head “chills” going down into my spine, even more shaky than usual with muscle twitches, and I was hotter than usual, tingling/numbness on finger tips and lips at one point. Then day 4 was the opposite, had more than enough energy even without caffeine, but crazy anxiety and jitters that got worse throughout the day until eventually it turned to a steady panic attack for hours until me and my girlfriend started getting into an argument and I said fuck it. 

Growing up it was always said pot doesn’t give you withdrawals, so I’m skeptical. Maybe its somehow in my head and you guys telling me that will help next time. But at one point it was close to when I came off benzos suddenly, but  without the head zaps. 

I have smoked/vaped heavily without fully missing a day for at least 2 years. Whenever I’m not working basically. I relied on it with my depression, to unwind after a stressful day, and to eat since at one point I stopped eating and I haven’t gotten any hunger back even though I’m in a better place. It’s going to be hard to call it quits for a bit and especially since nothing is forcing me to do it. But I want to at least stop everything else and cut this down to a reasonable amount. Im sick of the chest pains and etc now that I actually care about the future again. Alot of the time all I think about and look forward to is the various drugs ive been doing. When I don’t have any or try to take time off it’s constantly going through my head and I try to find exceptions that could make it ok 

Sorry for the long read. I don’t have a good support system since I choose to keep this all to myself instead of worrying my girlfriend and etc. I have online friends I used to talk through my depression with, but it seems they’re busy or whatever and that’s fine",5.667228682170543,6.1268245374677015,6.0052099483204175,80.7285901162791,67.19121447028424,8.93062015503876,30.85368217054264,8.841846274778883,2.388076744186047,1564,57,301,24,24,502,212,387,0.179,0.722,0.1,-0.9858,0,0,2,0,0,0,30.0,0,2,0,3,15,20,4,3,19,1,25,16,8,4,2,55,53,31,0,2,12,0,2,0,3,1,4,2,0,1,19,23,3,5,5,2,0,6,8,12,0,3,14,5,33,8,58,36,13,61,0,3,1,1,13,22,1,6,34,204,52,2,0.0,0.0,0.07734916323980502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659530880892704,0.0,0.0,0.1078029893503654,0.0,0.0606359067614624,0.0,0.0,0.05542246739952196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09017299926697292,0.0,0.06094828273358927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701015998461875,0.0865345653292471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08093628998250986,0.0906556495172046,0.08081381609385216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565504360363806,0.0,0.06328498141045784,0.0,0.0,0.2555900881954366,0.0,0.13653805098960256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191980759811773,0.16221148335652644,0.06621398784999037,0.0,0.0,0.08189977105059111,0.1767981866041023,0.15705720721535746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424727794874171,0.07753433222456273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244486086040312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06123832518523225,0.07327728012512846,0.041411597355073895,0.07603620273140536,0.13514080967233796,0.06648196563339341,0.06339378738440182,0.0,0.0,0.07848273944344179,0.0,0.0,0.07100399568481992,0.0,0.3253864389659961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05312825564781737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07805799691619791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08561754094344537,0.0,0.0,0.07045251348787139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070145178273178,0.0665608788515205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052908605785661436,0.0,0.07963024355458401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842970006159692,0.0,0.0,0.07605489682154105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611317909942629,0.0,0.08434132130175523,0.09299794300024128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281286737206729,0.0,0.22478720092774584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430585806194797,0.0792843564834056,0.0,0.0,0.08149546942444781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507943508084348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07215797345791204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967012867932763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872833482978408,0.05610269340769551,0.0,0.0,0.26506935702191303,0.09079539195533018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994660734587406,0.0,0.0,0.05959584153451785,0.06370852207245882,0.06927927421046583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050788470191236654,0.07787540350611165,0.0,0.138656515137952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16144293232087947,0.08621528169820547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369154046211914,0.17459378735548933,0.0,0.046751316070669485,0.0,0.06357992278226568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292198409990951,0.0,0.057704340178082784,0.08049532938382682,0.08077567366419756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05104271325246725
addiction,shmokebig,2020/02/20,"Not addiction, but THC dependency and i need help and couldn’t find any r/ on this subject.. Can anyone out there relate? i’m 16 and I’ve been a very heavy weed smoker for about a year now, i’m talking everyday, all day, More than 5 times a day and anythin between 1-4 gram each smoke session... and Lately i’ve had some heart problem scares related to the amount of smoke i’ve been intaking (went to a doctor and confirmed that was the cause) and ive been trying to Stop until i can get my heart healthy again as i did not Eat healthy or Be active during this year long smoking period, i also have given up on school and Dont have a job and any money i get i spend on weed and basically been sitting in my room 24/7 for the past year just smoking because i’ve been using the weed to Cover trauma/ pain i went through the past.. and everytime i’ve tried to take a break it mentally fucks me. My sober brain just gets overwhelmed with Past situations and my current situation & With such heavy usage i get serious withdrawals (sweating everywhere, no appetite, no sleep, no motivation to do anything unless i’m high) and i just want to see if i’m not alone or if anyone has gone through this and can help me get over it, I’ve had lifelong anxiety and today is my 2nd day sober so far & yesterday & today have just been filled with Constant severe anxiety attacks on how i’m going to live life without Weed or without such high usage and the situation i put myself into and how i feel i won’t be successful in life now & How i don’t think i ever will be able to overcome being happy without weed and also health anxiety about my heart and if it’ll ever return to normal and all of that is deteriorating my mental health and it feels like i’m just living in constant fear. Can someone please help",6.212390109890107,5.72139622802198,6.906351648351648,77.96364835164837,66.11538461538461,9.587692307692308,32.21098901098901,8.982922981607832,2.559276263736264,1433,51,283,21,20,475,189,364,0.11800000000000001,0.764,0.11800000000000001,0.2755,2,1,3,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,0,2,21,12,2,3,12,0,32,15,6,7,4,68,57,37,0,8,19,0,2,1,0,3,7,0,1,0,9,27,1,1,5,0,2,6,13,9,0,0,14,3,25,3,40,35,6,51,0,1,1,1,4,15,1,8,29,174,34,6,0.07886588172913407,0.0,0.0,0.08597545212611872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168126876591647,0.0,0.1261380342506605,0.0,0.34180459961479764,0.0,0.10726300800426254,0.0,0.1809965509721298,0.0,0.0,0.11028971645619316,0.0,0.06489990085445535,0.0,0.0,0.08972132591524369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048075909495431016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804040652277945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101698514277683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704520010628322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525859079110464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08072257178331603,0.0,0.0,0.09243022602410693,0.0,0.0,0.08069948589786217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14267741036188294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874604296554463,0.07975391891371136,0.056341801665441664,0.0,0.0,0.07208198712451351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291023683069696,0.20602084067122084,0.0,0.04482129805162456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08395419760577502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16766148868635472,0.0,0.2803693487203182,0.15858641430480033,0.1666522681684054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07826221841098094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08896414974647722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111410609213001,0.038529886143295486,0.0,0.13928003691351842,0.06979382356571741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15895651865924035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05847805199619406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07727181928235652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839188586178996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22585922391295574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657105515879188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07546399774480332,0.0,0.0792819940404777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07895850587516971,0.07981648275836052,0.06284589693799107,0.0,0.0,0.08909599807318064,0.0,0.0,0.2659456662433758,0.07892283772572853,0.0,0.0668228056596357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06593540850597436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05929732808022624,0.0633894083473737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05053407254729715,0.0,0.0,0.04598732985887861,0.0,0.14951126866742792,0.0,0.0,0.10708951360328496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06811480011031773,0.0,0.06507261192983799,0.046517140388380465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14621892497273126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280716869539981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15236112634218288
addiction,AliensAreHere2,2020/02/20,"Quit opiates a little over a week ago and today is day one off adderall I have had an issue with opiates for about 8 months. I got off them a few times but it never lasted. The last run I was abusing tramadol, codeine, gabapentin and adderall. And before that was just Norco and adderall. I believe that my opiate use stems from adderall tho, as I first started liking opiates because it would help me manage the comedown. I started lieing to my girlfriend, then my mom, and then I even started lieing to myself about my use. I kept making excuses for what I was doing. I caused so many issues between me, my gf, and my family that are probably unfixable. The only solution I have found was to just cut out the issue completely and to make sure it never happens again.",5.336734693877553,6.42584161904762,5.715789115646262,80.26552040816328,68.18367346938776,7.5126530612244915,31.706802721088433,7.554174236665415,2.220459047619048,606,25,106,6,10,194,93,147,0.06,0.851,0.08900000000000001,0.631,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,2,8,3,1,0,8,0,11,0,0,5,3,23,22,13,0,1,3,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,7,9,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,2,8,0,21,2,16,13,1,23,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,18,84,28,1,0.0,0.17236936291073499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12895875741789026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08868292429949069,0.0,0.12379229949382912,0.16390552547589846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494474724617048,0.0,0.0,0.15253243868058444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382221201473337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960878067027762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13714508101383927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374474846240816,0.0,0.15951071132569486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11635320842035828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286469998957797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09751181081699464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4555282567670605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23717034227061315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107391231857206,0.14580863079892942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19421732918025209,0.1474933315090645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703837771641081,0.11612031148485576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22440544546145846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098580642437496,0.11064367961431616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568514559851124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15473530575888206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089133169829455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13711266283906895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483023899939382,0.0,0.13789751104359688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512950758604922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11669484206673965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334442945090533,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,PuffleDemon,2020/02/20,"How do I stop my addiction to fries? I have always considered fries my favourite food but now it has turned into a daily addiction instead of something I eat once a month... I found this super cool place to order them to my door and theyre so good... I think they have turned into my comfort food ever since my grandma died 4 days after New Year... I really dont know how to stop ordering them whenever I feel the urge and the only thing I eat right now is fries with vegetables, chicken etc. How long can my body handle eating fries when I eat them every single meal? I really need help... Im actually a very skinny girl so I guess gaining a bit wouldnt hurt but what about my heart and veins? How long can they handle such food?",2.4871114599686024,4.382056068027215,3.8308843537414963,87.73728414442701,76.75510204081633,6.972056514913657,20.831501831501832,7.882392219407189,0.8329250654107803,570,14,117,9,13,187,93,147,0.062,0.795,0.14300000000000002,0.9335,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,5,2,13,5,0,0,6,1,9,15,4,4,1,22,17,12,1,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,4,6,10,2,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,2,23,4,10,15,3,19,0,1,0,0,7,4,0,1,13,71,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.11390502726207842,0.2544910822113447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712307130635668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12743152750575046,0.12965318640867854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07527682199627532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114027634057745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13679874701565048,0.0,0.0,0.4777479848531559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13017724705432165,0.0,0.10558283693828044,0.09834434886753957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0590187682443727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4234265505227322,0.12798098835143645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790190081864067,0.0,0.0,0.12858378865779527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383175802128129,0.07823711536722973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495462340675065,0.0,0.12608110969527075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06414803030127655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065927570215259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316736229182984,0.0,0.0,0.0865487902075343,0.0,0.11273201527210185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12430642212412167,0.0,0.08877327017222603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12195092384415028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14955176991821126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968099392578103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655465552230634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985923896879312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951716804247533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775457222359014,0.07479152765747038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25392269549952073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09630888249386944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751659281242328
addiction,Stukintimez,2020/02/20,"I'm addicted internt at work i can't stop surfing the web at work please help id ont want to get fired.

i go on the itnernet then play on my phne",-1.387647058823532,0.43313405882353,1.6073529411764724,98.67808823529413,90.76470588235294,5.752941176470588,20.264705882352946,7.1686216300943375,0.3250235294117654,114,4,30,2,4,40,27,34,0.09699999999999999,0.618,0.285,0.6108,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,5,5,0,7,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,12,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4241637958274765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032826339092328,0.0,0.22112790855235487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607977579442036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4271022304259293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32529533093124696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294944237016809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5665219894232261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,holdthebabyy,2020/02/20,"I think I'm addicted to dating apps Sorry if this isn't the appropriate subreddit but I wanted to talk about this somewhere.

I can't get enough of dating apps, the buzz of checking for new messages and matches has me checking my phone constantly

Yesterday I spend almost all day glued to my phone, swiping right indiscriminately, juggling different conversations, checking my matches.

The funny thing is, once I've 'achieved my goal' of affirming this girl thinks I'm attractive or funny, and I can sense they're interested in talking to me, I lost interest and move onto the next one, a new challenge. One girl started sending me WILD photos of herself but I just ignore her now, she was too easy.

If I fail to achieve this goal then my entire mood can shift and can feel really low about it.

In general, using these apps give me a very fake sense of confidence, fake because it's all just online.

I'm not sure if this is an addiction or something like a personal insecurity or desire for attention. either way, it doesn't feel healthy",6.206847739888978,7.4029152835051555,6.713505154639176,73.50972640761302,66.26804123711341,9.886756542426648,33.99524187153053,10.035473477838034,3.5616848532910392,831,37,144,19,13,271,121,194,0.15,0.69,0.16,0.5026,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,7,6,14,0,1,8,0,10,2,0,1,3,30,23,13,0,5,12,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,3,10,4,0,1,5,0,4,2,4,7,0,2,2,2,20,6,17,21,4,19,0,3,0,0,14,5,0,7,12,89,30,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3701833718212119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700160474217393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10349990514899253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834782339805316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10949785565933733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17739012225131295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17543421523789973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17169769910674393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870612201403509,0.16287410068111138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294881164154692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18534135996528225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18045553555746885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3279605490535079,0.18056922455663652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808164360066796,0.2301026318742216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14825049378279218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087691913781441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14499622586889374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13070947626813545,0.0,0.1900614078714989,0.1201753297287211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16002119585777946,0.0,0.0,0.2729349406079338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11279820368620146,0.21758389057349525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14664049884132652,0.0,0.14009114405158588,0.10014411934229353,0.13476813985544986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,NoSleep2323,2020/02/20,"Fucking crazy Been clean for a while off meth. Over a year, but I fucked up last night and got some. Just so weird to think that I’m sitting in my room smoking meth. Will I ever be able to fully quit this?",0.9831818181818156,2.623453681818184,1.8409090909090933,101.45636363636366,80.36363636363637,4.4,17.81818181818182,3.1291,-1.0498909090909092,158,3,39,0,4,49,39,44,0.226,0.732,0.040999999999999995,-0.8698,0,0,2,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,2,0,2,0,3,2,0,0,1,6,8,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,3,0,7,4,1,11,0,0,0,2,0,5,2,1,5,24,5,0,0.3265423801048981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953762777089543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6037663371463328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611657715840104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661756228163914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3064379031409677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3473180161376229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092351719678058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21028258667507896
addiction,saraunderscore,2020/02/20,"I cannot live a single day without something in my system I am a 21 yo college student. I am pre-law and high functioning. I maintain my GPA and extracurriculars at a highly ranked university, but the main thing that has been bugging me lately has been my dependence on substances to make it through the day. Like a lot of people my age I unfortunately have an nicotene addiction, but I also smoke every night along with a glass of wine or two or three. During the day to feel confident I usually drink vodka and will even attend my classes drunk, but no one ever seems to notice. As well, I take adderall almost daily (unperscribed) and spend the weekends using other things such as acid or shrooms. Somehow I have a way of justifying all these things in my mind by saying that it is ok because I mainly use at night or in social gatherings etc. Deep down I know that what I am experiencing is not normal though and I know I am putting a strain on my body. I nearly lost my father to alcoholism and painkillers multiple times as a child so I have seen first hand the effects. I just can’t wrap my mind around the fact that I am so dependent on all these things, but partially I feel like I cannot function without them and cutting everything out at once seems too difficult (besides weed because i have no intention of giving that up just yet). I also have considered going to a support group in my area, but I feel odd knowing I may be the youngest person there.",7.324448356807507,6.714891468309863,7.499633802816906,75.01625821596245,63.8943661971831,10.390234741784038,35.130516431924875,9.725611199111238,3.244033615023473,1163,46,218,20,15,378,171,284,0.079,0.818,0.102,0.8179,0,0,6,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,4,16,9,1,1,17,1,22,7,2,7,4,51,39,24,0,1,14,1,4,2,0,2,2,1,0,2,15,11,4,0,9,5,1,3,8,4,1,4,4,8,36,5,33,32,7,37,0,1,1,0,9,19,0,12,15,168,51,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256609011322327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12318816892968733,0.1154258745920903,0.0,0.0,0.1843621482529096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026144011113286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14053458191962753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12803856305856526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22301810823925888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11292034480365325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12855609736591486,0.07613449741996266,0.1042679713448164,0.09711962708143013,0.0,0.10359690256773213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17485135125819345,0.08234864014797179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09804828058660373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057712377516184,0.06551038190321395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435773662818621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900475071300594,0.0,0.13002915307971985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262982848142447,0.0,0.1017851870241364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12583040775564264,0.09799810954313867,0.0,0.0,0.07694336698268461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23277891471230175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21634546112840689,0.11293975434876614,0.0,0.1312352273089859,0.0,0.1227583841831335,0.07810967827095748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799134412799218,0.10064898674617694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587780661010505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166702906232482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098742671462943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11750286218349272,0.0,0.08874018567375809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13080659970323014,0.0,0.0,0.08666840937764846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3063200564967787,0.0,0.1132518172028502,0.0,0.0672146428756768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260167021316216,0.0,0.0,0.199111884861008,0.1269532021672632,0.0,0.0,0.09149565965015716,0.0,0.0,0.10364123244489803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222316021348864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,throwawaygooogleplex,2020/02/20,"Sleep This might be an unusual one for ya. See, sleep is my biggest problem I’m facing now. I’m so pissed off right now, I can’t, for the love of god, sleep like a normal person.

I can sleep for 12 hours in a row no problem. If nothing is “forcing” me to get out of bed, like work or school, I sleep like the god damn sleeping beauty. 

No it’s not heroin or meth, but just like drugs it’s an escape from reality. I love dreaming you see. It’s like tripping on acid or something, in the dream world you never know what’s going to happen and things are exciting and interesting. (Even though I forget everything 5 seconds after I wake up)

Going to sleep is not the biggest problem, it’s getting up in the morning, you know? I feel like a useless cunt every time I wake up late and my day is ruined. 

And sleep is also necessary, it’s now like I can quit sleeping cold turkey.

I just needed to vent. I’m in a period in my life where it is important to perform well and oversleeping is fucking it all up.

Thanks for reading. See ya.",1.5324999999999989,3.457384419811324,3.460981132075472,89.12883018867926,79.80188679245283,5.93811320754717,23.33584905660377,6.961326702584282,0.7947256603773587,795,27,167,9,20,268,118,212,0.124,0.647,0.228,0.9722,0,0,3,0,0,0,28.0,0,5,0,3,11,22,4,0,11,0,13,18,13,0,2,27,32,13,0,6,9,0,1,7,0,1,2,0,1,1,10,6,0,0,3,3,0,3,6,9,1,2,0,6,19,13,25,30,1,30,0,2,3,3,8,17,4,5,17,107,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06834812425372994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05511930193631127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09911486913870768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05645030868827236,0.0,0.07200983935304887,0.0,0.07681244806594037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04321480663638694,0.061057816284915675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790130899990184,0.08930621505689601,0.0,0.0971460088670236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755784017258361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416801940452527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09394112442660388,0.0,0.09641077407178353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060368042096978124,0.29228484855877906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15427504938588074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09066723974723713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06337287857220626,0.06591760756290943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08373975283501157,0.08200812580877635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057914816533366324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746267009505966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453418300920448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090493450518868,0.08549037278185415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298855950346297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649741393976974,0.204318984274916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7697607079802944,0.0,0.0,0.0657968600844112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07868675551016753,0.0,0.0,0.056780639304904026,0.0,0.08397113341858617,0.0,0.04983663736261914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684531667786969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06222117163791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Doordash12340987,2020/02/20,"Weed  I’ve quit alcohol,cocaine, and tobacco. But the weed is just so damn hard to kick. I know, it sounds crazy. But I think I know my problem. Weed calms me down, it calms down me down to the point where I don’t really care I’m just chilling. So I don’t have to worry about if my life is fucked up or any problem that’s happening. It just relaxes me so much, it’s one of the only comforts I have.",1.3504926108374384,2.4994654942528776,3.362889983579638,93.08896551724138,77.9655172413793,7.270279146141214,22.773399014778327,7.957251820313856,0.8378847290640397,306,9,75,5,7,104,53,87,0.222,0.635,0.14300000000000002,-0.7702,0,0,3,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,8,9,2,0,3,0,6,2,0,0,0,13,13,8,0,3,7,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,4,0,1,0,2,11,5,9,13,1,6,0,0,0,1,0,6,2,2,0,48,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679469327675297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17050042569155702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25562909022827185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317896290287153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217137653878921,0.0,0.22459880867899584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27558191157507456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17709326496435285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18431045682182445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698965809298416,0.1906863498063303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370145372229687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.479816629396198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666750667022276,0.0,0.0,0.16061975106613766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16065335182283516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25462165768927353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,milenkoIncarnate,2020/02/20,"Am I wrong for giving up on them? So my wife and I guess soon to be x is now dating a drug dealer and letting him live with her. I didn’t see the signs of her using and she had convince she it was just ptsd with not sleeping or eating and having rage issues. 

I now have our youngest son who is 2 with me. She has the older three. I’m not biological so I don’t really have any rights with them. 

I have tried countless times to try and talk sense into her from weighting her poetry to try and remind her of our love and trying to organize outings to just remind her we have a family. Nothing works. I begged her to come see her baby for valentines and she was all for it. Then she just dropped the older three off and when she came and picked them up had the drug dealer with her. Refused to get out of the car and see her baby. 

There’s just nothing I can do. I think I’m ready to finally pull the plug and go full on courts and cut contact with her. I just can’t do it any longer and nothing I say or do gets through. I told her we can not go through courts if she takes a drug test and proves to me that the drug dealer is no longer in the picture but of course that makes me a controlling piece of sh*t. Honestly I can see how in her state of mind how she can see me being controlling with that. I get it. I did offer to take one with her but of course you know no matter how I try it doesn’t get through. 

I think I just need to give up and let her completely fall and spend every penny I have which isn’t much doing the whole single father thing and going through courts. I’m already ready to let officials take a magnifying glass through every nook and cranny of my life. I have some embarrassing stuff from my past but I’m ready to put it all on the line for my son. 

But am I wrong for just completely giving up on her? I really didn’t want to. She was the love of my life. But I don’t see her ever choosing love over the substance any longer.",2.1089631252281857,3.3823123373494006,3.3892442497261785,93.16217232566632,76.22891566265059,6.476086162833152,20.768528660094926,6.980632752743323,0.2003172690763053,1520,34,354,15,33,495,178,415,0.048,0.8640000000000001,0.08800000000000001,0.9564,0,0,4,0,0,0,26.0,4,1,3,3,18,10,2,1,17,0,39,12,1,8,4,75,76,34,0,3,18,4,1,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,13,33,2,3,5,0,1,9,12,5,0,3,10,8,67,5,57,61,8,39,0,0,6,3,52,16,0,5,12,255,80,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853944182273532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16368418621996922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09176552095563377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06911388372155672,0.16824617737136127,0.0,0.17997693694739295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3721806230634129,0.08209869630007348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07257561341225033,0.1352000315896469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563681478332378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08789165852155839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16767435124590266,0.2309012772715751,0.13679530032592987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838602567731528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374272007170687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04409412347031589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24613195607120436,0.11334230532720956,0.0,0.0,0.07084747395849822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21724105765813964,0.0,0.05355635085970088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101276119017481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05898070735863864,0.05949197541520676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309580461413332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05436816062337328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765917635628592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937884342842378,0.0806566272185613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279901311087723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06851879992517444,0.0,0.06380474059359878,0.0,0.0,0.3836133141875093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.080291243661519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09184793300192952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809763696249252,0.06448848746247393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053303439479054616,0.10282051809146248,0.0,0.0,0.04678468252590682,0.0,0.0,0.07666635659838715,0.0,0.2723657206864433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06929581056904018,0.0,0.0,0.04732367919080757,0.0,0.0,0.09770254458351736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957761430071852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05841079806987585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17544503691911748,0.0,0.0
addiction,epi_climate,2020/02/21,"quit things in the order that they kill you Has anyone had the journey of quitting hard drugs, to booze, to weed, to smoking, to coffee to ...",4.16,5.5269496296296285,4.097222222222225,89.73250000000004,71.22222222222223,5.4,24.61111111111111,3.1291,0.2799777777777779,108,3,21,0,2,33,22,27,0.19,0.81,0.0,-0.7269,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,1,2,0,1,1,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,7,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,15,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353500111683538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3903349807373703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3015165502639504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3723845237145344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7160050992824706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236139737854904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,throwaway___2018,2020/02/21,"scared to post this 
I'll start by saying how scared I am to even post this.  It's not your typical addiction in that it doesn't entirely fit  into the categories I've seen. I'm terrified that I'll be laughed at and told that this is a place for people who have a real addiction and need real help, so please know this isn't a joke to me and is affecting my real life.  Reddit has this place called sexsells where you can buy various ""adult services"" which are then tendered to you online.  Now if this were just about ""getting off"" there are a myriad of alternatives available.  However, there is a type of service known as GFE or Girlfriend Experience.  For me, this means they will talk to you and spend time with you.  Things like ""How is your day?"" ""What are you doing?""  just someone to sort of share your day with.  When you feel lonely or scared they'll tell you how everything is going to be ok and hold you.  I have EXTREMELY low self-esteem especially in the physical attractiveness department.  They'll tell you how pretty you are and how special you are.  All of my life I've wanted to be someone's something and of course I enjoy sexual attention just as much as anyone else. I feel that ALL of these aspects are important.  They will give you all of those things.  Logically I KNOW this us all just an empty illusion but the feelings of hope and relief that I feel from these GFE's are very real and very umm necessary in the sense that I feel so empty inside without them.  I don't have a job and I'm spending money I don't have to the point where i borrow money from friends and family.  I don't tell them why of course but it's waaay out of control and it NEEDS to stop but the intensity of the need I feel is too strong.  I've tried to fight it I really have I mean FFS it's just text and pictures/videos ""get a grip you fucking loser this is beyond ridiculous"" I tell myself but somehow it just isn't enough.  Please help me.",2.7881246209824155,4.716735317010317,3.8842995755003034,87.53968768950882,75.98453608247422,7.348211036992117,23.00970285021225,8.219915518859313,1.229052213462705,1525,45,315,27,34,494,190,388,0.10800000000000001,0.787,0.105,-0.536,2,2,1,0,1,0,36.0,1,16,6,3,24,22,3,3,15,1,37,6,0,7,4,69,62,32,0,6,15,0,7,1,2,4,5,1,0,1,30,17,0,3,13,1,6,2,8,9,1,0,3,9,44,13,42,52,7,27,0,3,1,1,40,15,1,6,9,217,74,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990596554682138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06383866678378089,0.09354702967365314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932269003771109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10240004603885247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776112641052412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07626893758283508,0.0,0.0,0.09433669122085543,0.0,0.060302395928688614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08205401818265821,0.08930833705952106,0.08606895358274075,0.0,0.27698233440950343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07053769381495596,0.08440482873142878,0.09540034172341692,0.08758270855541278,0.05188755584970069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239213330779253,0.0,0.0,0.09068090962028956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060057172025747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10035153059023316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897493957293454,0.044604277565548814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19890363473703296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711556770958998,0.2030920558418037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06329551175079151,0.0,0.19077689224714828,0.2004386599578421,0.08630744828831483,0.0,0.1748791849818987,0.09288431760031077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41567484343456745,0.0584887366895201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07260495133541826,0.2742198951057572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952451910617534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15471537913536046,0.07028674244431526,0.0,0.0,0.06462218876522605,0.0,0.0,0.07633039068583093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07338300336852073,0.3191988165710761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12131053565557293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05323741725826,0.0,0.0,0.08724049401508213,0.0,0.06198630293580186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098219428000702,0.0,0.0,0.15066314152287194,0.0538507545473234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238351228670326,0.0,0.0,0.08800936838056092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,tybrouss3429,2020/02/21,"Benzos are ruining my life Im a 37yo male whose been to my first rehab at 16 and have never had any real sober time. It was a few months of forced sobriety by family and it’s happened a few times but no longer now that I’m older. Anyway my first real addiction was heroin. I was always a poly drug abuser but heroin developed from the early 2000’s OxyContin fiasco. I was a regular pill mill patient until they nearly shut every one down and turned many like me into IV heroin addicts. Well in 2015 I was arrested grand theft and did 3 years of a 6year sentence. So I’ve been out a few years now and immediately got back to heroin but for the last year I’ve been here n prescribed subutex and have shot heroin maybe 5 times. But the benzos have completely taken over my life. I have a good job out of Long Beach while living in Louisiana. I do this on a 6wks in LBC then 2 wks off in Louisiana. Lately I barely remember my two weeks off. Then I go through WD just from the 2 wks of extremely large dosages everyday.  Idk the point of this post but this shit turns your life into a real train wreck. I feel trapped, again, counting down the days till it all falls apart again. I’m on Parole obviously so I guess getting violated and having to go back to prison is my best bet rn to stay alive. How fkin sad is that. Our society uses prisons to treat us and everyone just looks the other way.",2.5155319148936184,4.4283970496453895,4.2077815602836885,84.98580000000003,76.7304964539007,7.490723404255319,21.918297872340425,8.364918446050245,1.2459096170212764,1096,30,223,21,25,368,178,282,0.215,0.6809999999999999,0.10400000000000001,-0.9904,1,1,1,0,1,0,19.0,2,1,1,3,14,10,2,0,17,0,19,10,1,2,3,31,33,21,0,0,7,0,1,1,0,0,9,0,0,1,10,12,0,0,2,1,1,3,2,4,1,4,12,2,20,6,35,21,5,55,0,2,1,0,6,20,1,2,30,142,30,1,0.0,0.13894610108056574,0.0,0.2556838215300933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09757826409699642,0.0,0.0,0.07974780916275982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803472074207275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12306791983630255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12295565340085007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562962659989925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13599628950525844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09880526549633374,0.11205677438495963,0.0,0.0,0.11055197958305216,0.0,0.059295375207640326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995000740004026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06126887914516424,0.0,0.13329480088069465,0.09836074379841016,0.09379175269444813,0.0,0.12918643036591784,0.0,0.10370171792354696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12667202194091132,0.0,0.11637265399540375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09559092693146064,0.13228597945019993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24849439245276825,0.05729233338480098,0.0,0.1035518023466209,0.1037805041275176,0.09847749670660948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11889365373579125,0.1178137546063054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09360401561289698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09044606646328596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946537410944021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11085831608098512,0.0,0.11231250806967244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4004377440268576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328443624232436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12037625326639452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12499451108740862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20514372328687625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25511277092461315,0.11455601977768914,0.0,0.14106170312077668,0.10128386629137393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308368673940803,0.09406714190724697,0.0,0.10544006186822974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265546389837713
addiction,notmy3rdredditacct,2020/02/21,"Had to do CPR on my husband I recently found out my husband has been doing coke for at least 6 months.  I asked him to leave not because of the addiction but because of the lies.  Well we lied about where he was going, got more coke, lied about why he wasnt feeling, and in the morning I couldnt wake him.  He's now in the icu and will fully recover, but is already asking about his ritalin prescription and is still not mentioning the coke at all (which I know about because the docs said it was in his system laced with something).  We have 2 very young kids and I dont want them walking in to find their dad dead one day.  I'm just at a loss.",4.519626865671643,4.372533761194036,5.120111940298512,88.18748134328364,69.59701492537313,8.491044776119404,28.690298507462693,8.07648339933343,1.5831373134328364,500,16,113,6,8,161,90,134,0.16899999999999998,0.8109999999999999,0.019,-0.9625,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,2,0,2,1,9,2,0,0,7,0,14,6,1,0,1,20,24,6,1,2,5,3,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,2,8,3,0,4,0,0,2,5,1,1,1,8,2,15,1,20,14,3,19,0,1,0,0,19,10,0,0,6,75,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294520614589555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322676802840808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39353699007688975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3849162615879857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13574088205401366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466786202093795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10642398877610634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923730568525033,0.0,0.0,0.230778236703829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11961948417700975,0.0,0.1683384648649483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156731910860121,0.0,0.0,0.22286578586904754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16800151229504062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426253236900414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078216089597784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20021275406274508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16203622887971952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680879834479118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17366637316332298,0.12414536348855112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18924497773260648,0.0,0.1899236355046513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,crowlcontrol,2020/02/21,Recovery from porn and meth addiction Me husband and I have started a blog as part of our recovery. Life has been rough for several years but we are moving forward on finding our freedoms over our addictions and trauma. We would love to have you join us on this journey of recovery over his meth and porn addiction and my mental health from betrayal trauma. All of us sharing our stories helps break through the shame. https://findingourfreedoms.com/the-story-of-us/,8.318076923076923,10.945592858974356,6.726153846153848,69.99384615384618,62.71794871794872,9.815384615384616,36.07692307692308,10.125756701596842,4.1347538461538464,385,18,57,9,6,114,57,78,0.16399999999999998,0.655,0.18100000000000002,0.1901,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,8,1,0,0,0,5,0,1,2,0,6,8,0,0,1,11,8,7,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,1,1,0,3,0,3,0,0,1,1,13,2,13,6,2,10,0,0,0,3,14,5,0,0,3,43,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5653801965287762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15800528731875654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18375881929015786,0.0,0.0,0.11587495922662505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12210724219249065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15602709782568208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742180772469379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18373954446097773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872075713506367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19530037026014213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12236233303450525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.623844660611206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228059601046342,0.0,0.0,0.11132630358039884
addiction,-Ibr0,2020/02/21,"Working on a startup to help people with addiction/mental health Hey, guys, I hope you are all having a good day its great to see people who are working on themselves and trying to improve. I know this is pretty extra and all, but I have been working on a startup called Pennies For Your Thoughts, which utilizes an incentive-based system to help people that are battling through types of vices and addictions. Here is the link talking about it on youtube  [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntrE01IWIsM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntrE01IWIsM) I also have a pitch deck and a more detailed summary discussing the project so let me know if you would like to see that. Any type of help or feedback would mean a lot to me as I personally understand how tragic this issue is. Thank you",9.582575187969926,10.757739240601506,7.12984022556391,73.55611372180454,58.84962406015038,8.755263157894738,35.421992481203006,8.472884824447931,2.9024443609022565,641,25,100,7,8,183,90,133,0.047,0.7659999999999999,0.187,0.9490000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,4,0,3,5,7,1,0,9,0,13,2,0,1,2,21,22,11,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,2,8,5,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,11,5,17,17,5,8,0,1,2,0,14,4,0,4,4,74,19,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17821133876348852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13073050153798466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111168268287776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16692574581119252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054275309708202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13711465769862222,0.0,0.18023121743227036,0.0,0.1618654600764758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17376575300845484,0.0,0.0,0.3287205417832744,0.0,0.0,0.16236706795971745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706249098413617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17968262399917934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16716375575798054,0.0,0.07986538508607033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389801771323924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17807165870972178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3399979124940227,0.1427396311152501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16631234039614484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260536028648791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313946137606767,0.0,0.15050535950413596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297804956494132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11098845725624558,0.0,0.0,0.17018272357775066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3570341569715176,0.0,0.0,0.2322551942153339,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Noinnerpeace,2020/02/22,"How do people go to sleep without a buzz? Even as a kid I had a hard time sleeping. I just couldn't find the peace within me to fall asleep and I still can't. I can easily go a full 30 hours or more without sleeping, not that I'm not tired but I just can't find the peace within me to sleep. 

Ever since I discovered alcohol and cannabis as a teen I haven't gone a single day without as it makes sleeping possible and helps me with being rested in the morning. Sure I have hang overs and such but it sure as hell beats being tired as fuck after yet another night with no sleep. 

I have tried working out, meditation and getting sleeping pills from my doctor. None have helped so I'm wondering if anybody have other advice. My health, bank account and future is getting fucked by my usage and I can't let this go on for another decade.",3.883803921568624,4.869164223529413,4.789117647058824,85.95936274509806,71.47058823529412,7.549019607843138,26.51960784313725,7.793537801064563,1.4096666666666673,658,21,135,8,12,214,103,170,0.161,0.759,0.08,-0.9465,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,9,5,3,0,9,0,16,16,8,2,3,30,28,18,0,2,11,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,1,5,10,1,0,3,0,2,6,12,3,0,0,2,1,16,2,23,22,5,22,1,0,0,2,3,7,3,3,9,97,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826333531104768,0.0,0.10746506898584547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21088599091903554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06485107727269998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10292455860516424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06641708443697159,0.09095974744117252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18381492423429127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18592702828500504,0.1050739768126808,0.0,0.1714469280212194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09007950275649472,0.0,0.0,0.10688760489723656,0.0,0.0,0.13480274750505286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902858959643547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282655338723616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712271407749396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943661234148592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06971370347216432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11336313778287342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08318195774292703,0.0,0.7044087719373882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030511249260386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895479482288432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05863571393464261,0.23115142538376804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06827174032838437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908006669198709,0.10904999755303392,0.07320684167137094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Endofmyroad,2020/02/22,"Dear Judge. If I stand in front of you soon, this might give some insight as to why. I see my brother on tv being interviewed as an expert on his subject, living all around the world and getting paid nicely for it. I see my other brother buying a house and looking forward to becoming a father shortly. I see my childhood friends getting the same while I'm stuck in the loop and I just can't take it any longer. I see nothing in my own future so why not get rich or die trying as fifty famously said. 

The last two years I have tried to do better, tried getting an education and tried doing better in life but I never succeeded 100%. The shit just doesn't makes sense to me. I know I'm smart and I have the paper to prove it. As part of an old case I was evaluated for mental disorders, part of that was an I.Q test in which I was only a few points from being able to join Mensa despite the fact I was drugged the fuck out of my mind on booze and pills when I took the test. I don't think I have ever laughed so hard as when I heard the result of the test.

Last year I had to move back home with my parents as I was identified for something I did half a decade ago and was ordered by a judge to pay a huge compensation for it. Most of my pay checks the last year have gone towards that and it still haven't made any visible change to the amount I owe. 

I still work minimum wage jobs and my coworkers are just as fucked as me. The only difference is they never tried to change their way and keeps inviting me to work the kind of overtime that's requiring ski masks. I have been turning them down so far as my record is so close to getting wiped clean but fuck me, I'm done trying to be better. I'm ready to get back into the shit.

Last weekend the biggest reason for my change in lifestyle broke it off with me. Now that I have lost her, wtf else do I have to lose? fuck my record, fuck my future, I'm already fucked. I'm fucking tired of being broke. I miss being able to travel every month or being able to go clubbing with friends. I fucking miss being able to grocery shop without looking at the prices.  I miss my old, happy go lucky self. I miss being able to stand on a balcony without having thoughts of jumping. I miss loving life so much I don't need a six pack of beer and 2 grams of hash in the evening just to being able to sleep. In fact, I haven't been able to sleep without a buzz since I was 14. I honestly don't think I have had a real sober day since I begun. I have either been drunk, high or on pills everyday with no exception.  

I don't know precisely what my future will bring. I just know that my current situation won't stay the same. Either I die, get locked up or relocates to a tropical island with a bag of cash. 

TLDR; Ranting about shit.",3.838467815881167,4.3564811376306665,4.732411516596368,88.03765266825603,71.24738675958189,7.505519897304237,26.255088941866866,7.3759095455046575,1.1214362369337985,2159,64,471,21,38,702,269,574,0.168,0.737,0.095,-0.9934,5,1,3,1,0,0,48.0,0,1,3,9,22,36,11,0,36,0,50,23,5,4,8,69,107,35,2,2,19,4,1,0,2,3,6,2,2,1,15,20,3,2,9,8,11,10,16,20,0,3,23,9,66,16,82,72,13,76,0,9,6,9,18,30,11,9,33,307,81,13,0.4094002564561957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05184408936434925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06454048048309989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07954463237805882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052064718020115114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994386469860756,0.0,0.0,0.06459291690161223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15517768168995222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18561050862595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03771847093943824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12139795149624333,0.061105161656277475,0.06702973752480558,0.0,0.0,0.05985122901253225,0.0,0.0,0.06782490307287004,0.0,0.04885734016795042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03862928689193432,0.05290371008166399,0.0492767676218027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09037189216480312,0.4325530744067533,0.21389473662591596,0.05610486156405172,0.06647760010761954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06225916939492222,0.0523917450541749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06179340693997081,0.05866597681173135,0.0,0.0,0.06748470411711953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05803808329098355,0.05198482267768362,0.0,0.06090390955575676,0.09642671751713784,0.19069477196350804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08262043101114191,0.0,0.0,0.05164398957303163,0.0,0.09822660152395417,0.065430595206364,0.06384410596565256,0.0,0.05278567364355818,0.05534063164899011,0.03903969288994314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05893988093426791,0.06204413930199543,0.05905393601808205,0.0,0.04668276839957956,0.06216109742789045,0.042993756384650784,0.04336644323863651,0.09021563328692926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056118655379385096,0.0,0.12274191446141396,0.0,0.0,0.08896209809058314,0.0,0.0,0.06494150507724772,0.1266687377080891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055287938886918506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06656958870996796,0.0,0.060133092736199364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05563334222931883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18642228523754295,0.0,0.06101339348029423,0.0,0.18010434857679206,0.09676003507602328,0.06574043449358481,0.11705597726434802,0.0,0.0,0.04502518841526231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062338028706411634,0.09341359247136807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04397400605207062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495061527980207,0.0,0.04643115331054404,0.0,0.0672207670836768,0.0,0.0,0.0649798212445488,0.23824791462439465,0.06361570239732219,0.05713208033911193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0464232667945079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10554858666152056,0.0,0.0,0.16913453046066498,0.0,0.08515664646675193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298871818991214
addiction,Lovefrankie,2020/02/22,"HELP! 10 yrs on Clonazepam and need to withdraw. Need advice! Hi Everyone...I’m in my late 50’s and have been on many types of meds over the yrs, but have never run into a monster like Clonazepam withdrawal. It was initially prescribed for sleep and anxiety along with the other daily pills I take, primarily Effexor. The dosage was increased due to tolerance until I am now on 4 mg of Clonazepam per day. Not only is the Clonazepam not helping me sleep, it seems that it may be affecting my balance and coordination, causing me to trip and fall. I fidget constantly and can’t keep my legs still. I believe it is also causing me to feel like I’m living in a fog. I forget people’s names, events and places I’ve been to, and have lost my sense of direction. I tried a Dr. supervised withdrawal 2 yrs ago; within 48 hrs, my muscles started jerking, I was sweating, and I felt suicidal. I was quickly put back on the full 4 mg. But I need to get off of it. I am also going through breast cancer treatment (no medications, just surgery at this point) and will need medications in the near future. I am so worried about the Clonazepam withdrawal that I am wondering if I should just stay on it. If anyone has any advice on tapering very slowly, I’d so appreciate it. 
Thank you so much.",4.564775985663084,5.903063201612905,5.72284946236559,78.57232974910396,70.20967741935485,8.736917562724015,31.11648745519713,9.150863307647796,2.7722734767025097,1006,43,187,20,18,335,151,248,0.10099999999999999,0.7959999999999999,0.10400000000000001,-0.6615,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,0,1,12,5,1,0,10,0,21,10,5,3,1,38,37,20,1,7,8,0,2,2,0,3,5,0,0,0,11,13,0,1,4,0,0,6,5,2,0,0,8,2,23,3,31,25,3,39,0,1,0,1,5,18,0,5,16,127,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25484656395441113,0.11558983726811822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085582469128703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867501797085059,0.0,0.09975400782767392,0.0,0.0,0.09117721729717196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10026790721226307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469137373564378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679090488752423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140913764574022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409583370732307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659330772509948,0.09315625895918557,0.12520239702745714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06812750113502042,0.0,0.0741081102265324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17480587700657044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11590361152832752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14709446852761787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12741161784445876,0.0,0.1151437015060791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14234467052232513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132202965728175,0.0,0.0,0.14484262904175582,0.2627242556508463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09585743264041767,0.38675345084163776,0.1005708702624762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09917345031420392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904014591718236,0.0,0.1362380124463746,0.0,0.12326812828972508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13108586785156814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11870931653527142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609840683700158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229627816668068,0.13898677133953838,0.10413590136102184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426340970451491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09804296431680397,0.0,0.0,0.12005283220019458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853158903471711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759189285572268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14141091938135705,0.0,0.1324253589384567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Samueldonbay,2020/02/22,"The 12 Steps (advice on Step 3) FYI the ***italics stuff*** I added when I reread my post for spelling errors, in trying to explain why I didn't understand how I could use someone elses joy as my higher power I may have begun to understand how to use someone elses joy as my higher power... but I'm not sure. Am I doing this right?

Not sure if anyone is still here...

Firstly, I'm struggling with step 3, the higher power thing. I used to be a christian, and whilst I still have some beliefs around there being a ""God"" and prayer helping my mind if doing nothing else, I don't think I feel comfortable using something I don't KNOW that I believe in as my higher power. Russel Brand talks about his being ""energy"" and ""nature"" and so on. That's too intangible for me. I have thought of trying to use my wife's love for me, but she's on the verge of leaving me so there is a fear that rug will be pulled from under me. As I was sat playing with my daughter this morning she started giggling at me and I thought ""Ah HA! That's my higher power, my daughters joy for me""... but what does that mean? ***I turn over my will and my life to my daughters joy... [in fact... now I've written that down... it kind of makes sense... Am I on the right track here]***

I think of myself as a fairly intelligent, well educated person but I just cannot get what this higher power should feel like to me. I've read it can be a football team or a cartoon character or someone you look up to... but that all seems a bit farcical. 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

PS I hear I'll need someone who's completed the 12 step program for my own step 5. I can't go to public meetings because of my job so anyone who would like to volunteer please get in touch. Good luck on your journeys.",1.1442591773551527,3.3669311960784327,2.914843726964474,90.89766143299428,82.97759103641457,5.1024325519681595,21.71966681409405,6.339386263674448,0.3617383753501402,1355,44,282,12,38,449,184,357,0.05,0.789,0.161,0.9918,7,0,1,1,0,0,71.0,0,2,0,8,18,20,0,2,13,2,29,2,0,8,4,55,60,26,0,7,12,4,3,2,0,6,1,1,1,1,18,9,0,0,13,3,0,8,7,2,2,1,6,5,48,18,44,41,4,35,2,0,1,1,20,18,0,8,10,189,66,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940535741432672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06752182139501105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138854255065559,0.0,0.0,0.08839074331068311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060527352994318565,0.0,0.0,0.11186784464499164,0.0,0.0,0.10840091726336776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10410555168349367,0.0,0.0,0.07927641408710237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689091368809868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24883664664963176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11173086740948662,0.10040982382723802,0.07093407391625466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445754501828433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10375172329233501,0.0,0.056429811880981035,0.0832812417640446,0.0,0.10946954792679192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11190906253442508,0.0,0.0665531931998925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09853177962925674,0.0,0.0,0.10339711883352777,0.05456817054149253,0.0,0.0,0.1051356679710081,0.0,0.0,0.07013272699280147,0.09701790538763648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338009550181552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08961471620198985,0.0,0.06627804018509569,0.0,0.0,0.10815786662958496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10025640200419653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07362360343760399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09527314948029653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669776031056041,0.0,0.1089925675807507,0.0,0.0,0.0950940870968463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09931865878954407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695892906061452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039151558619686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3365184424948554,0.07643967014650885,0.0,0.0,0.07027923932130997,0.0,0.1585891019456865,0.0,0.0,0.103801336443762,0.11366534307699586,0.0,0.0,0.18716267216503985,0.0,0.0,0.07980697890920042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06596505264242959,0.12724433835625915,0.0,0.15765317896490547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13482521412251022,0.10800095410020397,0.0,0.20673250816837568,0.0,0.4287811290191472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08927524279463403,0.0,0.0895953957418862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14106807620026401,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,adrenalina2020,2020/02/22,"Quitting cocaine for good! I'm done advice pls! First time posting here, any really advice from anyone who can relate would be appreciated.

I've used coke on and off for the last 10 years, I'm in my 30s now. When I first tried it I was out at a club with friends and I just really loved how confident it made me feel but after my first comedown from hell I swore I'd never do it again.. but then i found that nights out with just alcohol always felt like something was missing so i began using it only on nights out but occasionally because the comedowns always hit me really hard. I even went a couple years without using because I just didnt want to do it. 

So fast forward to now I recently moved house and dont know many people where I live and out of boredom and loneliness I began using again. What started out as the odd weekend turned into every week using at least 3-4 times a week. I was going through an 8 ball a week doing a gram and half a night and it started getting out of control. It dawned on me that I have a problem and when I tried not to use for a week I found myself dreaming about using and daydreaming about using all day every day! It drove me crazy. So I picked up again and went out by myself to an open mic night, I got drunk and high because i wasnt confident enough to sing sober. Anyway after i got home i had the worst comedown I've had in ages and genuinely felt like i was in the verge of a heart attack. This scared me so I threw the rest of what was left away and literally stayed awake all night afraid to sleep incase I didnt wake up. So I quit smoking, drinking everything cold turkey because I desperately want to stop for good but today (a week on) I felt so bored I decided to pick up a half a gram, reasoning that as long as I didnt do too much I would be ok. So i paced myself and didnt drink too much like I usually do when out of nowhere this sharp chest pain comes over me and everytime I breathed I tensed up. Again I was terrified thinking I was on the verge of a heart attack! I immediately stopped and drank a load of water. Intested my heart rate and it was 97 bpm so I just decided to throw the rest in the toilet and kept drinking water. I feel much better now but I really need advice on how to quit for good! Rehab isnt an option and I've tried cocaine anon which didnt help because I met someone who hooked me up with a dealer! I've deleted his number now and I know I'm so ready to quit for good, the high just isnt worth playing rush and roulette with my life over. I really want to quit for good and I dont want to be tempted again in future because it's easy to forget how awful you felt when your craving again. Has anyone successfully quit coke if so how did you do it? Any tips advice would be much appreciated! Thanks guys!",3.3022871946706163,4.323284917098448,4.582283493708367,86.76374352331607,72.88601036269431,7.37957068837898,24.493831729583025,7.7094869923839395,1.0667417221811002,2193,62,470,27,42,726,252,579,0.16,0.725,0.115,-0.9779,0,0,7,0,1,0,37.0,0,3,0,12,41,25,3,2,28,2,38,21,7,17,3,97,87,50,0,10,13,0,8,3,1,3,4,0,1,1,21,37,10,4,14,10,1,10,13,10,0,5,36,9,61,15,75,43,11,102,1,1,0,1,11,39,1,2,56,309,82,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2126743712403838,0.0,0.058147491901538326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905465665952849,0.0,0.0,0.07400101221319197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07608914579516449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12379792546138325,0.051119765438053626,0.0,0.0,0.1990061270101799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0481210157310395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046869194924916514,0.0,0.0,0.06102517819546122,0.0,0.06020337027138446,0.0,0.07017959465539518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055680080436862185,0.12753567911513755,0.1599025675607794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05621983206861672,0.0,0.035937136744696695,0.0,0.09168514766091204,0.0,0.04889998857373997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055022424201910704,0.0,0.2089676286188159,0.0,0.0,0.13884275537750948,0.0,0.11931499826792726,0.04203684960181889,0.0,0.02842685662158055,0.0,0.03092232342018208,0.2281816478578513,0.08703291926770143,0.0,0.0,0.05387422181033623,0.0,0.0,0.0487404624261468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19342750110114806,0.03646971868546234,0.11497380841301998,0.054577430767550575,0.0,0.0,0.06278156381236995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0598043679993338,0.044351220588945375,0.0,0.0,0.059116369059062965,0.0,0.03843122622816439,0.07974558875739153,0.0,0.04804481947905805,0.04815093000083285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04910693736584517,0.05148383537783866,0.0,0.055162961933014835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05782896962907546,0.15998975147387234,0.040344151450629306,0.041964165155462994,0.0,0.0,0.2552993939718133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04138107821042821,0.057895826315569436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037720880341200365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05210951478551205,0.0,0.0,0.05206279706930801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3472288961381029,0.0,0.0,0.17428144405087095,0.055942300529330684,0.05372307906333527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054473666796400366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05444905925264853,0.0,0.046101217462985435,0.04188729544921691,0.0,0.0,0.07702302366704765,0.0579935702226204,0.0,0.09097799998184856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05009320158691854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03486358055151929,0.0,0.0,0.06345354324584533,0.0,0.051574095415208215,0.0,0.0,0.1108219770008672,0.05918220034861274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3759405408181313,0.05992466938207969,0.0,0.12836915682493308,0.0,0.21822115836847605,0.0,0.0,0.10087679484316617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05244907200779916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595340825505206,0.0,0.0,0.07007620975173788
addiction,SecretOfTheOdds,2020/02/22,"~Lifelong Junkies : Embracing The Ultimate Surrender~ ..ah, yes, the infamous opposing views ; between those who believe in *'help the homeless/precarious-living - [it's not their fault](https://latimes.com/local/la-me-mentally-ill-homeless-20170807-htmlstory.html)'* vs. those who skeptically think *'[lazy bums](https://crimethinc.com/2018/09/03/the-mythology-of-work-eight-myths-that-keep-your-eyes-on-the-clock-and-your-nose-to-the-grindstone) & scammy scoundrels can't be saved'*

Now, those who find themselves in [sudden very](https://huffingtonpost.com/entry/living-in-a-boat-san-francisco_n_57bcce8fe4b03d51368b8ee0) [unfortunate circumstances](https://christiancentury.org/article/features/place-homeless-families-sleep-safely-their-cars), though, aren't the chronically, [""career homeless""](https://nypost.com/2015/11/11/this-bum-boasts-he-makes-200-an-hour-panhandling) that relentlessly pile up in tent/parking cities & on the curbsides of the world's [condo-developer-annexed](https://visualcapitalist.com/mapped-the-countries-with-the-highest-housing-bubble-risks) metropoli.

All these varied folks — the mentally ill, junkies, tweakers, hillbillies, panhandlers, wannabe thugs, compulsive hoarders, self-pitying victim-syndrome welfare-careerists, are typified in the [timeless ideological debate](https://snipboard.io/gAZAp.jpg) between the ->

 

**Left** • compassion, empathy, [solidarity](https://forbes.com/sites/danielrunde/2016/08/29/social-safety-nets-and-developing-countries-a-chance-to-get-it-right), mercy, [tolerance](https://theguardian.com/world/2020/feb/18/justin-trudeau-canadian-rail-blockade-dialogue-indigenous-pipeline-protest), [indulgence](https://breakermag.com/ten-years-later-reflections-on-the-second-bailout), equality, [pluralism](https://cnn.com/2019/01/10/world/canada-immigration-trnd/index.html), [self-righteous naïveté](https://imgur.com/a/pKL7Jv0), [collectivism](https://nytimes.com/2019/09/24/us/politics/bernie-sanders-wealth-tax.html), [globalism](https://bbc.com/news/education-44561319)

-&-

**Right** • [justice](http://adamsmithslostlegacy.blogspot.com/2005/08/mercy-to-guilty-cruelty-to-innocent.html), pride, [honor, glory](https://reddit.com/r/darkenlightenment), [triumph](https://inverse.com/article/51996-spacex-elon-musk-hints-at-terraforming-mars-with-warmup-tweet), [ingenuity](https://lifespan.io/aging-and-rejuvenation-biotechnology), aesthetics, strength, greed/covetousness, [merit](https://thoughtco.com/meritocracy-definition-3026409), [sovereignty](https://medium.com/@kyrongosse/5-ways-seasteading-will-change-the-world-35e3d105f2f1), [sacrifice](https://nytimes.com/2020/02/14/world/europe/north-sea-dams.html)

 

The core ideological system of a given person is demonstrably genetic in source, more so than the formative sociological elements they encountered.

..those who lean **Right** do so because their brain prefers 'hard', 'properly', 'just' and sees needs as capricious desires, because we can overcome our programming and overmaster our impulses ; we ""can do""

..while those leaning **Left** do so because they naturally mollify into 'easy', 'soft', 'caring', 'accepting' and see desires as human rights, needs that we are helplessly enthralled by, as innocent cogs in a machine who suffer unnecessarily if others don’t aid us in our plight ; we “deserve help”

 

An individual finding themselves in dire straits and out of resources, in our (for now) relatively prosperous & supportive western societies, will - as long as they can muster the slightest lucid functioning & productive decency - climb out of their hole in a matter of months if not weeks. Personally known and spoken with hundreds of such cases.

As an avid student of all humanities - especially [socio](https://theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/03/the-nuclear-family-was-a-mistake/605536)[psycho](https://vox.com/culture/2019/9/18/20860890/joker-movie-controversy-incel-sjw)[logy](https://theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/oct/10/joker-far-right-warning-austerity), a vagrant squatter myself, user of shelters and community resources for 4 years non-continuously, I’ve chronicled the varieties of precariously-situated ""people"" *(some are predatory, conscience-less animals)*, got to know them and their techniques, habits, dreams & mores at length.

Under the generous shelter of socialistic first-world economies (quebec, sweden, NL, etc), and even in many cases in some US areas (where yes, admittedly, [things are much harder](https://nytimes.com/interactive/2019/08/14/magazine/slavery-capitalism.html)), **I**, and **we**, make this life choice.

 

We come to prioritize something, our personal obsession, and put every resource, money, energy, time we get into it. It is all that matters. It takes over everything. We compulsively, emotionally destroy, squander, embezzle, neglect & sacrifice all that we know to the altar of our favored ***dopamine totem***, valuing it far above the certainly alluring and usually safer *(though increasingly [defective](https://aljazeera.com/programmes/talktojazeera/2018/11/driving-global-housing-crisis-181103062407206.html) & [inaccessible](https://citylab.com/equity/2018/04/the-global-housing-crisis/557639))* comforts of paying for normal conforming housing and of our culture's overarching *""[go to school](https://americanprogress.org/issues/democracy/news/2019/07/29/472805/predatory-profit-colleges-benefit-washingtons-culture-corruption) and a [workplace so you](https://medium.com/reason-in-revolt/capitalism-is-dangerous-for-your-mental-health-b02fd8f56dfe) [feel you belong](https://opendemocracy.net/en/transformation/five-behaviors-that-perpetuate-toxic-capitalism) then obtain this [artificial sense of purpose & identity](https://reddit.com/r/antiwork/comments/dhhetj/would_you_rather_be_homeless_or_work_a_40_hr_job/f3opyaw)""* ;)))

For most of the lost, misshapenly-grown children, many whom spent aberrant childhoods abused & shipped from foster center to one home to another several times, their ***fix*** comes to be substance abuse. For me, it was financial market speculation, and eventually dice/roulette gambling.

 

No amount of external aid will repair our demolished selves & abject, wasted lives — only [each’s personal grueling ambition](https://youtu.be/0L585rlnzS8?t=424) to abandon what we find in our ***totem*** : the obstinate endless dream, the blissful magic of losing ourselves, the bandaid to self-esteem & mental issues ; could achieve this — because in the complacent blur of our insatiable addiction, we find the comfort to soothe our decades of damage.

Turning time & again to that [precious **vice** we call home](https://youtube.com/watch?v=ONRpgrC09NM?t=128) blocks us from the monolithic anxieties, the monumental convoluted difficulties associated with confronting ourselves & doing the scariest thing : re-inserting, with apprehensive, [disjointed](https://forbes.com/sites/neilhowe/2019/05/03/millennials-and-the-loneliness-epidemic) [alienation](https://qz.com/1313899/the-psychology-of-why-you-feel-alone-even-when-youre-surrounded-by-people), into a [dysfunctional](https://reddit.com/r/latestagecapitalism), [errant](https://imgur.com/a/Mt00lyC), [exploited](https://imgur.com/a/EzwCgWJ), [collapsing](https://reddit.com/r/collapse) & [doomed](https://imgur.com/a/7toWSVi) [society that we utterly lose faith in](https://forbes.com/sites/patrickwwatson/2019/02/27/fake-capitalism-is-a-bigger-threat-than-socialism).

 

We reach a state where any effort seems unjustified. We no longer want to live.

That's why you find them bug-eyed, shambling, mumbling, laying there in all the [degenerate splendor of their decrepified stupor](https://danielmiessler.com/blog/san-francisco-is-a-microcosm-of-americas-future) [among rivers of piss, feces & syringes](https://businessinsider.com/san-franciscos-dirtiest-street-has-a-drug-market-and-piles-of-poop-2018-10) as dazed testaments to our [decaying civilization](https://medium.com/new-york-magazine/jared-diamond-theres-a-49-percent-chance-the-world-as-we-know-it-will-end-by-2050-7b131aad06d5).

[They've given up](https://youtu.be/xVBrvw7Up_8?t=4581).",16.162497502497498,21.856476583416587,10.213551448551453,40.029338161838176,49.3996003996004,12.996803196803198,46.078421578421576,11.746660269589071,7.871040359640359,6904,359,589,223,98,1851,653,1001,0.08900000000000001,0.813,0.098,0.7079,2,1,3,0,2,0,1020.0,30,2,11,10,15,29,4,2,35,3,22,7,2,1,6,85,47,31,0,10,6,0,3,0,0,2,5,0,1,7,32,40,0,4,14,2,5,6,7,16,1,1,6,6,46,13,81,36,16,61,4,8,3,0,61,37,1,7,16,268,78,6,0.0,0.08513509801311109,0.0,0.039165667544909466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8563901370135337,0.0,0.024431551143222596,0.03767252904968935,0.02748401071409295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760291649086605,0.0,0.0,0.04047735844886632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040106346720127715,0.03668542254656284,0.0,0.03662990966899828,0.0,0.0,0.06189575513107023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02868473813657285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04166384427633652,0.0,0.0,0.04041297179322091,0.03182060510188416,0.0,0.04006803488545836,0.04745880998435977,0.0,0.030269996411645936,0.0,0.032288817031325745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036331480630029216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16418286114703035,0.030559436755621908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037540686572792165,0.0,0.02041810790184761,0.0,0.02873405585462724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03218348141179732,0.0,0.0,0.03818865713169941,0.0,0.0,0.048162141062388086,0.0,0.07207530011733533,0.0,0.035380798905260365,0.041454865041966917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03749839118034865,0.0,0.0319335149576105,0.0,0.0,0.059233519853260586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780694507208725,0.0,0.02537626016209477,0.0,0.0,0.06344829234972285,0.031794211287811666,0.0,0.08038611206438707,0.03921849893477949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02398151138402748,0.07284855627625263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10861771604477614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02867654069330118,0.0,0.02641043465908547,0.05327874146674201,0.0,0.034698462464379236,0.0,0.0,0.0352007731249104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0243450242966263,0.02732405675066001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04981443305496455,0.12548007273908132,0.0375360055729422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03611649772230191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036938877876814304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18408846241933627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03635998126223602,0.05725823930357085,0.03270653679553648,0.11243890118070714,0.040587215929929386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035952885941587034,0.03662299087773718,0.0,0.027658313593618228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04076946568500022,0.0,0.0,0.02701258766845184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047736524993028905,0.023020532444242996,0.07059607215065468,0.0,0.06284786277909296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039078193969023005,0.0,0.0,0.17286274069857194,0.0,0.03956844861881476,0.0,0.02119064000871614,0.0,0.028818424136432395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0324184752135092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02615524016063782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02313577140729396
addiction,Kodeine__Bryant,2020/02/22,"How long will my withdrawals last? Hi I'm quitting smoking cigarettes, and I'm wondering how long you guys think the withdrawals will last. Everybody says 3-5 weeks, but that seems like SUCH a long time!! I only smoked 1 cigarette a day max, and most of the time I smoked less than that. I'm extremely active: working out everyday and doing hot yoga where I sweat like *crazy*. I don't know if that makes any difference.. 

I really just can't afford to be restless because I desperately need my sleep with how active I am. I've been chugging Zzzquil, but it can only put me down for a few hours. I'm so annoyed!!",2.7153719008264474,4.7858782231404975,3.9132231404958695,86.59892561983473,76.68595041322314,7.375206611570247,25.876033057851238,8.296473431620573,1.7384975206611577,479,18,96,9,11,156,85,121,0.087,0.784,0.129,0.7225,1,0,4,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,2,7,4,1,1,5,0,9,2,2,4,0,19,19,10,0,2,4,0,1,2,0,2,0,1,0,1,4,5,0,0,4,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,2,11,2,7,15,3,15,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,4,13,52,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12921098269986575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11582624104383855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253851832158225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985164240401873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881363763579207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18711819681261627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10442264136436752,0.3097614275721791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185655224276064,0.0,0.0,0.5044495039118625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683086040641314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408874635419848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28901711589270696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19100908227313432,0.0,0.20209537477919254,0.0,0.0,0.12172307366439125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511008501810261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17297484450687067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19014378973220988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217485374529697,0.0,0.0,0.22158871705602184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524118088410001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060540192251553,0.13832704538878635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,iferlam,2020/02/22,"relapsed after 6 months sober from stimulants on day 7 cravings are hard right now. I am bipolar and have all kinds of mental issues thats why I use to stop the noise in my head my pills im prescribed started to not work, excersise started to not work. stressors in my life all came at me at once one after another all at the same time, I lost it and ran away from my family to my old drug dealers house and partied for two days I came back and now im sober for 7 days trying not to fall into that if I do I will lose my family, my home , my kids, my partner is devestated and hurt but supportive im lucky. I will try and start working out again and try and get through this without drugs I just dont have alot of family support and it would be nice to hear some I have overwhelming guilt and no one really to talk to my partner is supportive but not emotionally right now I feel very alone in this which makes it awful and alot harder.",10.299956043956042,5.359909984615385,9.9789010989011,73.13538461538462,61.97435897435898,13.604395604395606,39.65201465201466,10.608840637214634,3.8034322344322335,737,23,161,12,7,243,115,195,0.10300000000000001,0.797,0.099,0.2818,0,1,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,5,6,11,0,2,4,1,13,6,1,3,3,38,28,14,0,2,9,0,2,0,2,3,5,1,1,3,8,15,0,1,1,0,0,4,7,5,0,3,4,3,21,6,28,20,7,33,0,4,0,0,5,12,0,5,17,107,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10784848657096574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10919060986234798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09783466088653316,0.08007044118231428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381966325200957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20146796797957967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12204095431818035,0.0,0.2415181927256671,0.0,0.0,0.11713354924038598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944967955553435,0.0,0.052651847742455814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054404237848324585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328107380878553,0.0,0.10686862104316076,0.0,0.11736339527298605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445205265411434,0.0,0.0,0.12015338788971015,0.11147456990438699,0.0,0.3374385939429473,0.10868588611183044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10843658818082133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07355092405582954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649614217824665,0.11367147161599254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0695083637732146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10493972624934284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08311650547575372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926814491927704,0.11089629631016132,0.14112394984452076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06670909317138472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17785489840335006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22111373173413196,0.0,0.0,0.08705831981119973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3545004490701124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369668907182637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06071972193445387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21209468481997468,0.0,0.1017210210778709,0.0,0.0,0.08993589614816254,0.0,0.08591911976741018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09396218328484296,0.0,0.0,0.10037873080451606,0.0,0.22742619327223826,0.0,0.0,0.07397179465424585,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,907tl,2020/02/22,"We aren’t trash! Bumps on the road to recovery I just wanted to share a little of my story with somebody. Something I need to say. I’m a recovering addict. I have been sober now over 2 years. Three years ago I decided I’d  had enough. I’d been addicted to opiates since my teen years, (the byproduct of constant migraines and a script happy Dr)I ended up physically addicted at 15. That’s how it started anyway. 

Now a lot happened in those years of using but that’s story. So after around 20years of using, I hit my breaking point and decided to get help. I spent almost a year in treatment but had to be discharged early due to medical reasons. About 3 months after I got out my mother passed away after a long battle with a blood clotting disorder. Yep! You guessed it! I relapsed. After I lost another 8 months to addiction, I managed to pull myself together so I could keep my promise to my Mama and started clawing my way out again.

 I enrolled in a methadone clinic and buckled down to get my life straight. I got a steady job, a car and I started seeing a guy I had known for years. It was an amazing time. I felt like I was finally on the way to having a normal happy life and that this was what life was supposed to be like all along! For the first time in my life I was excited about my future. 

My boyfriend  was wanting to move to Florida before we even got together and he invited me to come as well. I can’t tell you how stoked I was! We lived in Alaska at the time and I have pretty much lived in cold states all my life. I always wanted to move where it had warm weather and sunny beaches, also I was head over heels in love with him so why the hell not? (I should mention that he has a teen son, it is relevant later in the story). Anyway I had multiple conversations with him before the move,  because of my addiction issues I was still baffled that anyone would want a life with me. I asked if he was sure he wanted me to come, to which he always said that he did. 

After months of hard work and packing we finally make the move. As soon as we got to Florida though, his attitude and demeanor started changing.....(y’all can prob guess where this is headed). I got a job about a week after we arrived as a housekeeper at a local hotel. I knew something was up but he kept saying everything was fine so I tried to convince myself of that. 

Then one day about a week and a half in to my new job, he was driving me to work and informed me that he didn’t love me and just wanted it to be him and his son. I was crushed! I had just moved almost 5000 miles and spent every last dime I had to start a life with this guy and 3 weeks in, he is throwing me away?! I didn’t know anyone in Florida and had nowhere to go. I was a pitiful wreck for weeks. I decided I wasn’t going to let this destroy me and I ended up finding and renting a room, then buckled down to try to make a life for myself in Florida. 

I worked really hard at the hotel and made it to the front desk. Learning the ropes of every department from Front desk to maintenance, I threw myself in to my job. My manager (we will call him D) was talking a lot about my future in the company, him wanting to train me up to be in management one day ect.... until one day I accidentally knocked over a sharps container. It was faulty so all the needles spilled out on the floor. 
I was trying to be extremely careful while picking them up but still managed to stick myself. 

That led to a workman’s comp claim and a Dr visit. Well D decided to require a UA. (Remember I said I was going to a methadone clinic)? Now I knew D had a very low opinion of addicts. He made derogatory comments all the time about guests that were suspected of using or just looked like they would. Due to this I was terrified of him finding out I was a recovering addict and did everything in my power to keep it secret but now I had to give a UA.  I. Was. Terrified! Thought for sure going to be fired. I figured the best thing to do would be to get ahead of it. I thought if I told him before the results came back that it would be better. So I told him hoping to salvage my job. He didn’t react much but said something along the lines of we will pretend you never told me this which relieved me somewhat. I still had my job! It was all going to be ok! 

Nope. Everything changed. All of a sudden I couldn’t do anything right. I got really sick and had to call in and he made out like I called in all the time. It was only the second time in a year! He wrote me up for things but not other employees. If I made a mistake he’d harp on it for days. He cut my hours so I was having a really hard time making ends meet. There was no more talk about me moving up in the company or future management positions. 

About when things were starting to go sour  one of our regulars at the hotel (we will call him EW) had been asking me if I’d work with his 24 yo autistic son up in Indiana. I had a great rapport with his son who is a wonderful young man whenever they came to the hotel. So He wanted to hire me as a live in caregiver. I wanted to stay in Florida where it’s warm so I always kind of laughed it off but he was persistent so I started talking to him on the phone to get to know him and the situation with his son better. After a couple of months of talking. I decided to go up there for a week to visit and check it out. EW told me to just quit my job and move to Indiana. If I decided I didn’t like it, no hard feelings and he’d pay me $5000 to hold me till I was able to find another job.I wasn’t wanting to do that so I decided to go up for a week to visit and see how things went. 

Well I WASNT intending to quit my job. A week before I’m supposed to go to Indiana, I show up to work and D calls me in his office. He informs me that he is writing me up AGAIN for something that EVERY SINGLE Front Desk Associate there does frequently but only I was getting written up. I couldn’t take it anymore and I quit. Thinking in the back of my head that I had a job in Indiana or at least the $5000 for cushion that he promised since I had now quit my job. Looking back I wish I hadn’t been such a hot head and quit but we will just chalk that up to the MANY mistakes I have made. 

When I get to Indiana everything is ok the first day or so. Then one morning I wake up to him in my bed kissing on me. I flipped out. He apologized and said he understood when I laid out exactly what I was and WASNT there for. If I had had enough money at the time, I would have bought a ticket home the next day but as it was I was stuck there until my return trip.  He didn’t listen. The entire week he tried to get me to sleep with him even to the point of begging. Telling me he only has 3 months to live and that he’ll marry me and leave everything to me and his son, all I have to do is sleep with him. I honestly thought about it. I’d never have to worry about money again but I’d never be able to live with myself after. The shame I felt from just considering it was enough. I felt hunted the entire week. 

It was coming time for me to leave and he wanted me to go to Florida pack my stuff and come back. I didn’t argue about it, I just let him think that. I sacrificed half of the clothes I brought cause I was just trying to get through my time there safely and figured it was safer if he thought I was coming back. 

When I finally got back to Florida and I informed him that I wasn’t coming back because of his behavior, he refused to pay the money he promised. He told me that I was just a piece of shit junkie and that I threw away the first half of my life and trash should stay thrown away. He said I should have just given it to him because nobody else will ever want me.  He texted my sister and told her I stole money from him to buy drugs and crap like that. 

So now I’m unemployed and back to square one but throughout ALL of this I have not relapsed. I have actually been on a taper these last 2 years and I’m almost off. I started out at 90mg and I have tapered down to 20mg. I have made many mistakes in the last 2 years but I’ve kept my promise to myself and my Mama. I’m struggling. I don’t know how I’m going to eat or pay my bills but I know im not im not trash. Even though people treat me and fellow addicts that way. I won’t let them destroy me and I won’t let these people make me feel like I belong in the hole I just scraped & clawed my way out of. Yes. I am a recovering addict. That does not make my life any less important, meaningful, impactful or worth less than anyone else’s. I’m still fighting! It’s been tough and it’s probably going to get tougher but I know I can stay sober through it. I never thought I’d be able to say that. I hope one day that all those suffering with addiction can say it.",1.9968732708897825,3.4834034309031563,3.7391676801297256,89.65119883789573,76.98694232861806,6.829167822370152,23.982603995533648,7.583002386737751,1.0000110833742273,6798,220,1498,93,153,2281,538,1838,0.075,0.8170000000000001,0.107,0.996,18,0,7,0,2,1,165.0,11,3,4,21,89,62,9,2,92,4,146,43,11,25,18,280,292,119,0,38,47,8,14,7,2,16,28,10,4,3,79,97,1,9,43,8,16,45,32,19,3,15,129,31,242,43,264,126,25,274,2,4,5,3,146,96,3,25,131,1037,321,31,0.07878075175893669,0.0,0.0256262164855526,0.2862754929764934,0.0,0.0,0.023278127691911968,0.0,0.07888754303056092,0.0,0.0,0.02100031290630667,0.06555189645787657,0.028452970538852488,0.0,0.017857870901055325,0.05507232482635328,0.0,0.0,0.026043112241793426,0.055085333373564166,0.02690673001851751,0.021609948714175483,0.02337719051825113,0.049099578849893966,0.0,0.09868947944171533,0.16154009401874048,0.0,0.0480240150557465,0.0,0.0893821563604178,0.0,0.0275585128616223,0.04645011525392967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13407325960327274,0.06006946172032367,0.026774075626702414,0.02697651107108485,0.027779863135351045,0.13572528383167434,0.0,0.028378001758869568,0.0,0.020966673277132305,0.029056467795805632,0.0,0.11854982420290693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03009652225333003,0.0,0.04596104450557538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03045355360234205,0.02687079222854329,0.043874139446214384,0.0,0.0697763626924536,0.08140157598936679,0.0,0.05203394353781233,0.023753900083038383,0.06637618114286624,0.0,0.11800509978122395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02655594345736965,0.018760328265907626,0.07564187616022729,0.08630046277919122,0.07200417987401256,0.06701086720098585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12347907371527793,0.0251912252223515,0.17909166691096176,0.0,0.14701904919393266,0.028952018978237744,0.05785725325530426,0.05200355342232988,0.023221852867666527,0.05590905011300969,0.09409610594582687,0.0,0.10780237273613563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01760169242567985,0.0,0.02634117246802895,0.052164708200754466,0.02586105710286062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056731153829684924,0.02740887898481628,0.28665171352154306,0.04668263461349005,0.0,0.027346009949409385,0.07215973478677105,0.06421682741040312,0.0,0.055611627380099136,0.0,0.107411541643662,0.1854839159698592,0.0898060238598552,0.02631966990284804,0.11594141188903595,0.023239495406992217,0.04410399335877816,0.0,0.028666165598934975,0.04465105194606998,0.047401802845563897,0.1490885043063879,0.08764460590275537,0.05324754477042132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02645443974722921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10480340740294976,0.19537343346097835,0.03860861144819605,0.019471643067323543,0.0810140965810444,0.025362313654239237,0.027928074414590564,0.0,0.02572946999545573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456237792538455,0.05991631170930645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036411102565282384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04964884973434691,0.0,0.0,0.026716115576780115,0.028312991643150168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13965504468340226,0.0,0.0,0.05046896687321468,0.026999911241287998,0.0,0.0,0.029747744784380876,0.022426110517139143,0.12489755922229205,0.08353282110206471,0.0,0.0,0.041852039582372096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02695576985690851,0.043445501301878714,0.0295176219203836,0.052558430850456514,0.0,0.0,0.080865695444434,0.0,0.0,0.14869712420607836,0.08396979926246634,0.08388588015991,0.0,0.0,0.027452915624498725,0.030061704211420032,0.0,0.0,0.049499950800598165,0.0,0.01974444031239777,0.08442797880265998,0.04590523295966902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697845745113069,0.033653016466528136,0.05160112574095403,0.10423852833538454,0.15312563296219808,0.0,0.0,0.15055676876122284,0.0,0.08914493189992742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06804127514900038,0.0,0.02166745692963114,0.18586771410526626,0.08337665840545071,0.1895795012379824,0.0,0.07083335701922013,0.024343515383703985,0.023695791633455303,0.0,0.03019799219137418,0.0,0.028478121573563563,0.0955888759245515,0.02666855917329778,0.0,0.09327264286559526,0.0,0.0,0.15219666361304865
addiction,brandoesco,2020/02/22,"You just never know how it will all turn out.... I got hooked on opiates in 11th grade. I was spending at least $300/week on heroin for several years, all money that I took from my college fund. I was a depressed, miserable, sorry person. I got fired from TWO jobs, spent all of my money and stole from my family, and I almost ruined all of my most valued relationships.

I got on suboxone after being too scared to go through withdrawals AGAIN. I have seen 4 different doctors, spent thousands of dollars in treatment, been off and on the medicine too many times to count and been on crazy high doses that made me throw up and nod off. But I finally found an amazing doctor who knows me and knows what she is doing, and I have been stable and consistent for the past 4 years or so. I NEVER would have thought I would be where I am today. 

I have a loving, HEALTHY relationship with a boyfriend of 6 years who has been through it *all* with me. I have a job, as a TEACHER, where I am viewed as one of the “top 3 in the school.” I am going to Europe next month, to five different countries, on my first international vacation. I was selected as one of TEN teachers from my state to go on an international professional development trip- all expenses paid, halfway around the world. And most importantly- I am fucking happy. I go to sleep by 10 and wake up by 730, everyday. I cook dinner every night and keep my apartment clean. I laugh all the time, I only cry from sad YouTube videos, and I don’t sweat the small stuff. I can’t even believe how great my life is, compared to how it was.

I never would have thought that this would be my life. I am currently titrating off my medication and am down to 1 mg a day. I know a lot of people have opinions about bupe, but if it wasn’t for this medication I would still be involved in all of the fuckery that comes along with illicit drug use. A distant cousin of mine overdosed and died the same day that I got the news that I had been elected for the international program. It could have been me.... I do not regret getting on this medication and would recommend it to anyone who is ready to get their life together. It might save your life too.",3.997308139534884,5.3526670418604665,4.825973837209304,84.39640261627909,71.6046511627907,7.886627906976745,27.62354651162791,8.376592526197632,1.7802616279069765,1708,61,348,27,32,553,225,430,0.059000000000000004,0.852,0.08900000000000001,0.9118,5,0,1,0,0,0,56.0,0,2,1,2,15,13,1,2,21,0,47,18,3,5,11,69,76,26,1,9,6,1,1,0,0,8,11,0,1,1,21,22,2,1,7,2,9,8,7,7,0,7,25,3,51,6,62,38,13,59,0,5,2,2,13,28,1,8,22,258,72,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686451940018458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060655470124603976,0.0,0.0,0.07722315873779081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09773408392223132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472479872978625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06926036460280821,0.0,0.09528742881485736,0.11188918636139188,0.0,0.07471500333042665,0.0,0.0900296173237231,0.18126415652373298,0.0,0.17757831640192534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005988979782424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05729552885374314,0.0,0.0730880295303535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177728492319035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950270211917216,0.0,0.07378689398081813,0.0,0.09511353080950684,0.0,0.08019613856961379,0.09064338070969677,0.0,0.19720111664235734,0.0,0.27751777625210866,0.09563879609872147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234371958395284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09165289383168584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17216588466243804,0.0771046567858814,0.0,0.0,0.1906953754623404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24508768707796036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07374913742412062,0.07829249076664263,0.08208204221577624,0.0,0.0879477711188942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26216521591737035,0.0,0.0920247837742348,0.0,0.0,0.06924057157185554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007137395977621,0.0,0.09225634372423744,0.08140611700688022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117563929014833,0.06597494890726031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828097598979078,0.06013939850944791,0.07574407291882299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862674764603517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08684880962763215,0.08779252392626581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979993388866151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680957716893438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09710608558218478,0.0,0.0,0.06927621001324506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09930448034097958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13773474471113314,0.1011656644696682,0.0,0.0822259461837575,0.0,0.09637903059001278,0.0,0.09435574936843978,0.08473914537178365,0.0,0.0,0.07492149505662725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958315441000389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36973517926953947,0.0,0.0,0.16758653560724324
addiction,spunth,2020/02/22,"R/RationalRecovery is back in business Hi all, 

I want to let you know that I am now moderating r/rationalrecovery, which had been defunct for far too long. It is based on Jack Trimpey's secular Rational Recovery self-help approach to quitting addictions. I hope you join and check it out. 

Dave",5.904444444444442,7.704672222222222,6.937962962962962,69.36583333333336,67.51851851851852,10.585185185185184,35.72222222222222,10.686352973137794,4.168866666666667,236,12,43,7,4,79,46,54,0.0,0.873,0.127,0.6597,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,1,6,9,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,5,1,6,6,1,8,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,3,26,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3875188659681117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27333737771112954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23826656683040076,0.0,0.0,0.35306564937386564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19535908087965692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36349600149895067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3145830896020234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3780900976171356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3708366553971109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20966763239513564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,gayqueen97,2020/02/22,"I smoked Vyvanse soaked in poppers...my worst mistake yet. So I uses to do a lot of T (gay slang for crystal) when I was in my late teens. A lot. But I didn’t have a reliable hook up at the time, but I did have my Vyvanse prescription. But I also knew you couldn’t snort, booty bump, smoke, etc. it because I thought it has to go through your liver to convert to an amphetamine. So I got on the internet, as one does, to figure out if there was a way to extract the amphetamine without taking it so I could smoke it. Well, there was, and it was pretty simple too. Just soak the Vyvanse in alcohol and then let it dry for a long ass time (no idea if this actually works. Would not recommend trying. You’ll see why). The thing was I didn’t have any alcohol. I was only 18 so I couldn’t buy liquor. And yes, I could have gone to a pharmacy and picked up some rubbing alcohol, but I was 18 and I wanted to smoke RIGHT NOW. So what is one to do? Well soak the Vyvanse in poppers (amyl nitrate) of course. That makes sense. It’s the same thing as alcohol right..? 

Spoiler, it isn’t. I soaked 5 pills worth of the powder in the poppers and waited about maybe 30 minutes or so. It was dry enough...I thought. So I put the still wet powder in my bong and lit that shit up. Well, it exploded. I mean sparks flying everywhere. Who could have known??? I wanted to get high so badly I was still trying to hit it as the sparks flew. 

So after about 4 or 5 more attempts to smoke it, I gave up. I got a moderate amount of Vyvanse smoke in my lungs...and some combusted poppers. I would love to say it was the best high of my life, but, sadly, I felt nothing at all. Thankfully I didn’t cause any damage to myself or the apartment, but you damn sure I was pissed I wasted 5 Vyvanse.

I look back at my 18-year-old self and just hang my head in shame. That wasn’t even the stupidest shit I did. But I had a lot of fun. So, worth it right?",0.4244377906976773,2.4947191775000057,2.315906976744188,95.02713953488377,84.725,5.52093023255814,20.55232558139535,6.8252276405021135,0.2552488372093027,1461,45,337,18,43,484,189,400,0.146,0.759,0.094,-0.9772,0,0,11,0,0,0,73.0,0,4,0,3,28,18,4,1,23,1,37,15,6,4,2,56,60,36,0,12,16,0,3,0,0,3,6,1,0,1,22,9,5,1,8,1,3,5,10,10,3,2,27,8,42,8,47,23,12,41,0,2,3,3,9,23,5,10,12,232,64,1,0.0,0.0,0.09450401488529957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4139794291756903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07744467017253319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13171203001461715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744656719922273,0.08085918962317319,0.05903410460193875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162991135112596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994836130121874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319618432078421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08474725944322617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006387733596896,0.10800464904014499,0.06396335795948868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298369626834073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0505960510617904,0.0,0.05503765244057928,0.0,0.1549071037274773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993880333785322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20463819685281207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10932305305048036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10924221667517707,0.0,0.0,0.09902770797308667,0.06840250789921178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857022971419686,0.08132305538019896,0.0,0.0,0.2469953190398576,0.08740386401232353,0.0,0.0646429186729131,0.0,0.097291003638547,0.105489543095215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09292270013367188,0.0,0.10161959542887168,0.0,0.13124555833833465,0.07365285490402408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09852333002684252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735315625553896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481081220077021,0.0,0.07701280223410202,0.0,0.0,0.07717069302646512,0.0,0.1010275322560523,0.0,0.1988142476856204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15467660767963815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127262485116812,0.0,0.07281328019049205,0.0,0.0,0.08915928409109376,0.0,0.0,0.12867530546498918,0.0,0.0,0.15376377451556486,0.11293892803051013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13149899012160932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08364056503257203,0.0,0.0,0.1142400740949769,0.07686882856348956,0.0,0.0,0.26121829689115605,0.0,0.08738502020028993,0.0,0.0,0.09335242235103586,0.0,0.07050227300105531,0.0,0.0,0.1375878368112735,0.0,0.0,0.06236319994881177
addiction,LastW0rds,2020/02/22,"I 23f can't get over my friend 40m introducing me to heroin In a very vulnerable time in my life. It was during a rough break up, I had found out I had a pretty serious illness at the time and he told me it would make all of my problems go away. Now I am nearly 3 weeks sober and he is clean of heroin but still wanting to be friends. I can't seem to move on now that I have mental clarity. What should i do? I know I am to blame but i was 21 and dumb. I feel like he was supposed to look after me but now see him as abusive in many ways but he wants forgiveness but at the same time cannot admit his influence on me",1.7160869565217425,2.336415391304349,3.900695652173912,91.67582608695652,76.2463768115942,7.259130434782609,22.495652173913044,7.554174236665415,0.5817078260869568,476,12,119,6,10,165,90,138,0.175,0.691,0.133,-0.6409999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,4,7,1,0,5,0,16,2,0,2,1,24,29,9,0,5,5,0,2,1,2,2,2,0,1,0,4,4,0,0,6,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,7,4,20,4,21,19,2,25,0,0,2,0,11,12,1,1,10,80,24,0,0.0,0.2394824347982085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18990099883015216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219934720417426,0.1443965495098764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22161718811047773,0.3123191062655328,0.0,0.10560080665043853,0.0,0.11487102989072645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11108139014489077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14276529214203362,0.09874697733552956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16973222350770958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13491852057311052,0.20492076752979785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20369221553111175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21482452041348987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20563152472148247,0.0,0.19340419660833144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16106568126069315,0.1840049814567904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16141550771398488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35357824332058635,0.0,0.0,0.19313697150655154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16677245584120545,0.23843449682471196,0.16043564926965118,0.1621306967468912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435822188456504,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,TrueStorey1776,2020/02/22,"I need to help my sister but I don’t know how Last summer my family and I slowly came to the realization that my younger sister (30) was probably using crystal meth. It started when she asked our father to help her inspect her electrical outlets and light fixtures for hidden cameras and fiber optic cables. He didn’t know has to deal with the situation and ended up playing along with the inspection. Then a few weeks later our mother was visiting her (our parents have been split since she was born and they don’t speak so she didn’t know about the outlet ordeal). M noticed S was looking around her house almost desperately while M and her boyfriend were sitting on the couch with my niece (3). M’s boyfriend noticed he had sit on something and then realized it was a bag with what he told me later looked like icy crystals. M inexplicably gave the bag to S and asked her about it. S deflected and nothing else was said about it. When I eventually get these two stories from my parents I started working to bring my parents together to plan an intervention. This took too long and S’s situation worsened. Before we could do the intervention S was found by police on the side of the road after she had pulled over on some out of the way county road. She had her daughter in her car seat and was passed out in the driver seat. The deputy said that it was clear they had been sitting there a while and that it was around 5 am when he showed up. The result was felony child endangerment, resisting arrest and some other charges I don’t fully recall. Human services gets involved and the baby is taken and put into the car of my father and step mother. That happened in July and my sister still has not faced those charges in court and my dad still has temporary custody, so at least the child is safe. 

Since then we have all tried to talk to S about rehab and getting help but she has refused and denied everything since day one. According to her she has never been on drugs and the whole thing is a big conspiracy against her. Any time I talk to her on the phone she will act like everything is completely normal in her life until I bring up these issues and she will start to accuse me of being an imposter pretending to be her brother. The entire situation is hard to confront. To top it off she divorced her husband one month after the arrest and is now homeless. Several family members including cousins have tried taking her in and one even got her a job at the nursing home she works at. But she failed the pee test. Of course that too was a conspiracy and the administer of the test tampered with it. She has burned many bridges and is sitting in county jail right now for contempt of court in a completely different charge unrelated to the original arrest. She has been in there a week now because this time the bail bondsman won’t even get out because she skipped on her last bond. I feel horrible making her sit in jail because I know that county jail is a horrible place to have to sober up and that there are no programs in place to help these inmates beyond the bare minimum. The problem is if I get her out of jail I know she still won’t go to rehab. Right now the plan is to let her stay in jail for a month or so before any of us go visit. Then we will offer to get her out if she will sign herself into treatment. I don’t know if this is the right thing or not, but it’s the only thing I can think to do at this point. I could really use some advice on this.",6.336445442635224,6.214326935766426,6.505255474452554,79.70670597042859,65.77372262773721,9.30301328841475,31.286730301328845,8.841846274778883,2.37018510200262,2761,94,539,39,39,885,299,685,0.10300000000000001,0.848,0.049,-0.9913,6,0,3,0,1,0,41.0,7,0,2,6,28,8,2,0,43,0,65,6,2,6,3,88,105,50,0,8,11,15,2,2,0,6,4,3,2,3,30,46,0,2,10,3,0,15,12,4,0,4,32,8,74,4,91,62,7,112,0,1,2,0,91,51,0,9,41,381,104,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07135687439027592,0.0,0.0,0.07312162147007316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09931579254148186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13001125478940054,0.1365326139366935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13354176269702064,0.0,0.12427376907340268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835184416909072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15312568825606818,0.0,0.0,0.11660526526449727,0.0,0.0,0.04709355895944085,0.07528313090539174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07629311214143628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08468307416037946,0.0,0.061001041995980186,0.0,0.06467638088791228,0.0,0.0,0.09646152426101283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312560727271952,0.0,0.13767848401843896,0.0,0.03692243865140141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08006555086656156,0.0,0.0,0.22890787926266115,0.0,0.0830008932540503,0.0,0.05840287244563985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457367551295523,0.0,0.06541393840323917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19578213360524246,0.0,0.07324765742313538,0.0,0.0,0.08425831729241677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07621665970520955,0.07246369826988484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407879849609996,0.11904638845434524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467059235076745,0.05157804707042528,0.07135034249090581,0.0,0.0,0.06462273463050859,0.12264124539091754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04874317630274497,0.0740334911572509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657194214184464,0.0,0.0,0.05414535904170431,0.056319558288602425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07154667872864824,0.07006718830349742,0.1662735092757835,0.0,0.0,0.14844608319917044,0.05553700491082041,0.0,0.0,0.24324898561084735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15258622428287255,0.0,0.0690299936574215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07873075183037746,0.06987280036073486,0.0,0.07340791777987599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04678017022610554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187082795477672,0.13892249696939582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249479317753831,0.0,0.18121523632625816,0.2462415058776244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05621639245924503,0.0,0.0,0.1550573920001829,0.07783241359424088,0.17494791338679874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05490393420298175,0.11738565691733842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14553898312881247,0.046789956376984264,0.0,0.0,0.0851601721186037,0.0,0.0,0.06977625764596711,0.08113083501893574,0.09915515250112504,0.0,0.07133250439142935,0.0,0.08783723960427813,0.12613622315145198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05796196922688857,0.11714870726496288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08152716487494456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10632269684551454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,SevenTrack,2020/02/22,"I don't know what to do. Hi everyone, at the time of writing this I am drunk, I drink every night. I am very functional, my relationships with friends, family, and partners all function properly, I work a job, I go to school, everyone sees my drinking as a quirk because that's what I let it on to be.

Every night I try to stay home and be sober but I start to feel an overwhelming feeling of FOMO (fear of missing out) if I don't get some booze and end my night at a bar. 

I am personable with the many regulars I've gotten to know at the many bars in my neighborhood but every night ends in tears at home alone. I've looked into AA but the religious aspect keeps me away. At least that's what I tell myself, but every other alternative addiction group gives me a bad vibe too. Maybe out of fear. 

My family doesn't know how much I drink because alcoholism runs in the family and I don't want to scare them or disappoint them if I can't get better. 

I don't know why I'm writing this, maybe it's because I'm alone and drunk at 3am with no one to talk to yet I continue to drink whatever I have available to me at home. 

I guess I'm hoping this drunk rambling will result in me waking up with some semblance of what steps to take to make myself better. Thank you if you read this.",3.644756554307119,4.248483681647944,5.044438202247194,85.31624531835206,71.73408239700375,8.779775280898876,26.069288389513112,8.998388855275968,1.7572681647940076,1001,30,219,19,18,336,135,267,0.155,0.792,0.054000000000000006,-0.9772,1,2,5,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,2,3,3,12,0,4,10,0,15,13,1,3,1,38,40,15,0,5,8,0,2,0,2,1,2,0,3,2,13,12,11,1,6,10,0,3,7,7,1,1,1,4,34,5,40,35,5,31,0,3,2,0,15,17,0,8,10,135,47,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988172608774076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09687275291242202,0.0,0.1877633451138815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516467768905657,0.0,0.07568542536194509,0.16577044632087742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603376212580697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3551933519587729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16057048086946488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3054918575038139,0.17323182110176782,0.0,0.0,0.25635827268843897,0.2040033675356432,0.09166644218085616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07003269120513715,0.0,0.09471733921876577,0.08695567506447513,0.051516075727456284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985652682203396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727752715951558,0.09003169508629694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899519323517826,0.08057011857848287,0.0,0.0,0.19926616178366086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09269143353390212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07611961073153571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06050675030503789,0.18380115139971892,0.1821317039804636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06663506522900524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3402596301529321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06142391456057865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914838339315826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09067029247134528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09731962563169944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09075222148423727,0.09173835093626599,0.0722329367187998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06415953720669544,0.0966163219593049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06815433235106931,0.07285763024936738,0.0792283917468664,0.0834544394131181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05285627303307505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061542522553107215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479224720577687,0.05346521923823815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179370155628775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06599119464263863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,jimmy_randall,2020/02/22,"Can you be addicted to video games? I’m asking, for a friend. Who can’t concentrate on his schoolwork, & stays up way too late playing video games, & sleeps in late. Also he’s having some depression & not exercising regularly.

He bought some games recently, but well under $200 so it’s not a money concern. Just concentration & not able to focus on self-directed schoolwork.",3.373274647887325,6.289562436619723,4.490968309859156,78.67194542253522,79.56338028169014,8.057042253521129,25.77640845070423,8.841846274778883,2.540308450704225,307,12,53,8,8,100,55,71,0.035,0.8740000000000001,0.091,0.4215,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,4,3,1,0,0,7,7,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,4,1,1,0,1,0,2,3,8,5,2,10,0,1,0,0,10,5,0,2,3,29,4,0,0.17011987818429436,0.0,0.0,0.18545577785801726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13604480512136108,0.0,0.7372992677493944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15903912160681932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465240018010333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13143419588458202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38380526498441775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679728562919656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17747213471303866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17024273672578374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18132515497441895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13503324087415616,0.0,0.0,0.15295820106371885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,sadwisco,2020/02/22,"Smoking weed for sleep. I’ve been clean from heroin for 3mo. One of the best parts of using was not having ptsd induced nightmares. Now I smoke weed for sleep. I’m prescribed something that’s supposed to help but it doesn’t, so I’ve turned back to the old go to. I’m in therapy but I’m not there yet for working through this aspect I feel. We’ve tried but to no avail so far. I’m curious peoples perspectives on smoking weed and sobriety. If my substance use disorder symptoms don’t present themselves when using thc and it’s beneficial for my sleep do you think it’s okay? Or would this not be considered safe or sober. Just want to know what people think about sobriety and smoking weed.",1.3874533657745332,4.045813248175186,2.279063260340632,92.27906528791564,88.05109489051095,5.380210867802108,24.399432278994322,6.937597516519254,1.0794025952960258,553,23,110,8,18,173,89,137,0.08199999999999999,0.795,0.12300000000000001,0.5771,0,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,2,9,3,0,0,2,1,8,4,3,4,0,24,22,12,0,3,10,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,7,3,0,1,5,0,0,1,6,0,0,1,2,1,5,3,17,18,2,10,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,3,6,63,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323905270921228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18068510190179565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19732534979438204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705591941383692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09784997061843352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154040352448397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09462186220731178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18066676149945796,0.0,0.11666898439273965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18644674661758648,0.0,0.23872637142646946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20126120233361536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5168924833697021,0.0,0.0,0.132547304848265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17895382995692186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19689500556834968,0.0,0.0,0.2206432088730456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168942691882165,0.187274949768697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4461069723013178,0.0,0.0,0.10155218653002837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253441060033234,0.0,0.0,0.12230686804794284,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,insanitys_aurora,2020/02/22,"I am young and LOST I lost control over alcohol and cocaine. I am back at it over a big break and i hate myself. I changed a lot from the day i met stimulants iwish i never did them in the first place.... A young guy lost in a big city over a little time, sounds cliché right?, but it do really work for me in the hard times and it makes it even worse. I am not this person, iam trapped i need to leave this circle but this is the only option...  no a ticket to a flight WILL WORK probably. I am leaving London in April to see my parents and cure myself in comfort from my problems, i struggle a lot with this ocassional use it that i cant leave and it shouldnt be in my mind but it is. I need my home and my people to feel safe. I relapsed once again its over for me. An advice to the strangers that i would met in person stay away from drugs it got me hooked easy and stealthy. I needed to say all of this i cant open up to people i know. At least someone will see it ❤❤❤ I am boing to see a Psychiatric as well for the first time, this subreddit is very motivational for the better way in life😇 I would like to thank you all for this. Ive seen the problem i need to fix... with your help ❤❤❤❤",0.09346153846153983,1.8425322099236645,2.1667175572519106,97.47638872577808,83.77099236641222,5.252143276570758,18.0921902524956,6.297961479604792,-0.39288655314151466,917,21,227,8,26,307,134,262,0.132,0.763,0.105,-0.27699999999999997,1,1,3,0,0,0,26.0,0,2,1,10,4,13,1,1,18,0,19,2,0,5,3,39,39,12,0,9,4,1,2,1,0,5,2,2,1,3,19,11,1,2,3,1,0,0,6,7,1,2,8,8,35,6,38,25,5,37,0,3,4,0,11,22,0,3,13,153,54,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10314510811767244,0.0,0.11280398863249187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991704586181351,0.08116369292694646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335299484111602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11166101120672416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11838659385538315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807291199373852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12240789573035887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697167191956877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053370736305483515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17956654806744504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442032592180165,0.0,0.0,0.10451400234025808,0.0,0.0,0.09455469857189157,0.10421167229746366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07074990850837083,0.0,0.10587820176867356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0580091335615435,0.0,0.0,0.3352959579673762,0.0,0.0,0.07455516076111082,0.05156783318595255,0.10579177232300134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3456704976479764,0.1794746643440992,0.0,0.0,0.07045740487801598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10657837630526804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3130646604211605,0.08140893191377059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11241043270836457,0.0,0.08027776475645218,0.0,0.0,0.11720404485543677,0.0,0.0,0.14635423190467073,0.1843295059165612,0.11028035305221452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11380391839074945,0.2019998103693474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06761991408626382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09014163120879123,0.0,0.08393993184704962,0.0,0.0,0.2523360736909797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08943466073213495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11250538625513824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034684743653504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717896262738702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18464629866880736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116384711130468,0.0,0.08709222717378888,0.0,0.08378300806621845,0.0,0.0,0.094904766489749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15368759009135605,0.0,0.1075674601351,0.1499635555373575,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,brown_pisa,2020/02/22,"Where do I start? Hi. 22M here. I've been diagnosed with Major Depressive disorder. I was taking pills for the same but it made me so lifeless and I stopped. Never went to my therapist after that because I was scared he would scold me.
I'm addicted to masturbation. Anytime I see anything even mildly sexual, I feel the urge to go beat one out. In the lay two days, I have not lived from bed except to go to the washroom. It's just been masturbation and masturbation. This greatly hinders every meeting with my long distance gf. The sex feels very underwhelming. I can't even orgasm from fucking her. I need to use my hand to orgasm. And on top of that, I feel like I need to cheat on her when we're not together. I haven't done it yet but I am just so addicted to that thought. I puke just thinking about me in this state. I pity myself and loathe myself. Help me please!!!!",1.11912380952381,3.5969408742857176,2.8314285714285714,89.6052380952381,85.97142857142856,6.076190476190478,22.047619047619047,7.447530270364453,0.9892476190476192,683,24,141,12,21,225,111,175,0.16699999999999998,0.7609999999999999,0.07200000000000001,-0.9543,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,2,12,7,2,1,5,0,11,9,3,2,1,28,28,9,0,3,8,0,4,1,1,1,4,0,1,0,8,7,0,1,5,0,0,3,5,5,0,2,8,5,26,2,23,19,2,19,0,2,1,4,7,7,1,0,9,96,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3627764319472667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13692370254228728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10142899210223398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073069305802218,0.0,0.14331032222870116,0.16888100298073316,0.0,0.0,0.19069583713861776,0.0,0.0,0.17027338375144666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197963015802997,0.0,0.14018963522939826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523933409639341,0.11886810288410295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15382364916831348,0.0,0.0,0.18912503720900614,0.0,0.0,0.18344410192766775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11152682173436497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812891021375207,0.0,0.14692424867638446,0.14724874169888852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15744098768369247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24675018887119315,0.128329203931874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127492725596032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826447999037369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16658409071965458,0.0,0.13259023180387486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177707607788708,0.0,0.0,0.13910838294688171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510357650341364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931900764354289,0.0,0.10661514465536308,0.0,0.13209402239698506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16253755855311047,0.0,0.0,0.14370639255594853,0.0,0.1372880827585912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542439689847758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11819774101253845,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,kdnmichelle,2020/02/22,Reading to better my daily life! I'm wanting to know your recommendations for any books that have helped you change your life. Self help books. Inspirational books. Anything. I find myself getting complacent in sobriety and want to keep bettering myself and leanring in anyway I can.,4.6654464285714266,8.181167270833335,4.538452380952382,74.73750000000003,84.625,6.909523809523809,27.690476190476193,7.957251820313856,2.74109761904762,231,10,33,5,7,71,37,48,0.025,0.772,0.203,0.8478,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,3,0,2,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,8,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,3,6,8,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,0,20,9,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17640313340335986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21346680614883293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.458842261943789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744142865487291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370899087633179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13552751322936415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34774511634627386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23056956417064076,0.0,0.0,0.14256126491752827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3664484322268792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25947348951681604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706142065838455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30600556423508857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,tillycat33,2020/02/22,"Oops took my bfs pills My bf was in hospital for 2 days. He left a sheet of valium at home on the kitchen shelf. He got them for his shoulder pain? He was in hosp for anprndix. Dont leave me alone with valium. They are all gone and i hope he has forgotten about them. I dont know where the packet is but i know ive been eating them for 2 days. Guess i finished them. Im going to say they are lost. Shit im such an addict. Also was drunk so i dont rem. 
I also ate chinese takeaway with old spaghetti left on the bench. I am a monster. I saw the bowl in the morning. What the hell was i thinking",-1.623471273603858,0.3302943587786302,0.970703093611892,100.38340699075935,97.77862595419847,3.979268782643632,16.055042185616713,5.750287758089431,-0.7389938931297708,455,12,112,4,19,154,84,131,0.163,0.8029999999999999,0.034,-0.9615,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,6,1,6,5,2,0,9,0,14,9,2,0,1,10,26,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,2,0,1,3,4,0,3,1,0,3,3,4,0,0,11,2,20,1,15,15,1,16,1,1,1,0,13,9,2,2,4,66,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16715174943767752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15880308428601256,0.0,0.2452350359809549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197769640954832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5391029741205349,0.0,0.0,0.15689432172757334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08714066859929437,0.0,0.1226315803001076,0.0,0.1689096925260901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15380195539938032,0.15229075573329015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3312442679481641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16853172841529987,0.0,0.0,0.16235376470774426,0.3331858253320767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673772239360216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608934810223253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16315336159231064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219337449872208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15739049270947006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824733018094983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17035467765219775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,beaujangles58,2020/02/23,"It doesn’t sound like much but a little encouragement would go a long way I’ve been a very private individual my entire life. I rely on my solidarity to keep myself from being vulnerable from outside people to protect myself from judgement on how I live my life. I love reddit and thought I would post this here before 

I realize that I need my friends and family through my journey of life and my inner-struggles with the demons I have. I have to come clean to them that I’m an addict and have always had an addictive personality to certain things, some good and some bad for most of my life. I have been lying to myself and my family about my addiction to tobacco products. I have used chewing tobacco nearly everyday for almost 20 years and I realize I need to stop bc it’s affecting my behavior and well-being. I currently do not have any medical problems from it but I feel so ashamed that I keep it from my wife and loved ones who depend on me. I blow it off bc I think it’s no big deal, but so know that it is. I love my wife and three awesome boys more than anything in this world and I truly hate myself by cutting my life short by chewing tobacco everyday. I want to see them grow and develop into the young men I know they can be. I want to see them get married and have kids of their own that get excited to see me like my boys get when they see their grandpa. I can’t imagine not having my dad in my life no matter how much I see him, just knowing he is there for me is enough. It’s not fair to them to be so selfish by making excuses that I can’t quit bc I know deep down I can. 

I’m not looking for upvotes or karma as I really just needed to get this off my chest bc it’s been burying me deeper and deeper into the depression that I’ve been in lately. I thank anyone who reads this and can relate to what I’ve been going through lately or offer any advice they have used to overcome their addictions, no matter how big or small. Thanks.",4.35576923076923,4.825019659203981,5.762388059701491,81.28780711825489,70.06965174129354,8.771680061232301,28.14810562571757,8.841846274778883,2.036661768082664,1541,51,316,26,26,522,191,402,0.11699999999999999,0.7240000000000001,0.159,0.9501,1,0,3,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,10,1,12,19,2,1,8,0,30,17,1,8,1,67,68,29,0,8,12,4,1,2,1,2,11,1,1,5,24,19,2,4,10,1,0,5,10,7,0,2,7,8,65,12,49,56,8,36,2,1,6,3,31,19,0,8,12,225,89,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3821878902648395,0.0,0.08564656317895446,0.0,0.0,0.08776471260122408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07292841343609822,0.0,0.0,0.11920444068288832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06128405406415788,0.0,0.07212511121656051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0731806690097501,0.0,0.0,0.07458020902245703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754991857433804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09035907868011647,0.07548928883247194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056164823419373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16524951633076015,0.0,0.04431640261291009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06771500814636455,0.0,0.18316546990929355,0.0,0.09962237428047167,0.07351322608569949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653218497989032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15580741342395604,0.0,0.0,0.19267158717278604,0.0,0.19773679498035532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3714413646738641,0.08563872322328289,0.08784422138312807,0.07739293912915543,0.07756386713433315,0.07360048531743334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373115513128752,0.0,0.05850432161480525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08829402763409129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288596484632776,0.19496498215360955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059391132959146976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06076263430268821,0.07652902286077158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394054862882433,0.0,0.0,0.08386529345239457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322220763195764,0.0876696223960051,0.0,0.05614821051268441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3492121903485106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07327590040958099,0.0,0.09162652900406802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16138514592153927,0.0,0.0,0.05822804422630029,0.05615995640537765,0.0,0.069581057768161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15139584094181846,0.0,0.07231704996155551,0.1033916502126051,0.06956923914879072,0.0,0.0,0.07880419369840716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12452227127648258,0.0,0.0,0.056441088701375486
addiction,No-Nominal,2020/02/23,"Im super addicted to my smartphone and I dont know how to stop it. Its not like I do not go outside with friends, I do, and its not like I cannot put my mobile phone down then. But when I am alone I am just always on my phone. Today I woke up at 10, was on my phone till 12, had to drive somewhere for an hour and was on my phone from then till now, 11pm. I watch videos while eating, chilling on the couch, I browse reddit or instagram or read stuff, I just cannot put it down. My sleep is suffering from it, I almost do not do any school work. I also suspect that my clinical depression either encourages my smartphone use or is caused by it. How do you go about not being addicted to something anymore that you absolutely need in modern times in order to lead a normal life?",4.144110429447856,4.1358668773006135,5.317920245398773,85.96780061349695,70.41104294478528,8.48319018404908,26.729447852760728,8.238735603445708,1.4645317791411052,603,17,134,8,10,201,97,163,0.114,0.825,0.061,-0.6828,0,1,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,0,3,8,7,0,0,3,0,16,6,1,5,0,27,22,16,0,2,12,0,0,2,1,0,4,0,1,0,9,4,1,1,2,2,0,6,8,2,0,0,4,1,22,5,23,17,1,29,0,2,1,0,8,10,0,4,14,96,31,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3778232575273758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17352485756662928,0.1794761311568159,0.0,0.13857991385952284,0.14419112396071013,0.0,0.0,0.11784311130142873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17185707028288005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17801651799858242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492543837291405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20309453586351398,0.0,0.0,0.17731888515101002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13388338884114534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19696934901404986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17065569839934894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18718288736802766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09523562696890718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239981952702575,0.16932143693137194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12849230537716005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697873622897609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3484085341906483,0.0,0.0,0.17333684903988145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753786852781206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17341510224975287,0.0,0.0,0.1334070730145485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14487816121968036,0.0,0.0,0.1983755384348561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010467659232527,0.0,0.16425861443018044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14966688180804624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261571506163111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,CmdrFlynn,2020/02/23,"Bulimia Not sure if right sub or this topic was discussed numerous times. Love of my life has issue with bulimia, we currently live in different countries, this is due to change. I'm trying to support her as much as I can but she keeps doing it and she doesn't always tells me about it. I'm worried about her health, she does it for at least a decade(!).

If you can suggest anything or direct me to right subs it will be much appreciated.",2.630948275862071,4.727592597701153,3.9776867816091968,85.91411637931036,77.04597701149423,7.108620689655173,24.66810344827586,8.07648339933343,1.4732999999999996,344,12,69,6,8,113,65,87,0.047,0.851,0.102,0.7106,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,9,3,0,0,1,11,14,8,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,11,3,12,11,3,7,0,0,0,1,11,4,0,4,3,49,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18940469679665975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18731841511083996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24080019824834425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378227690299789,0.0,0.0,0.1991987608923774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419578760704376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375844496119845,0.0,0.20232618884609505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16078035921128705,0.0,0.0,0.2009996581483877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054431202005358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3346654821703612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3887860665227241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583095103776505,0.21453665750604675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19895686928813666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13273169343760535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545444422799991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311672417045065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,SlimeSeason-,2020/02/23,Video Game Addiction Is anyone else out there addicted to playing video games. It’s like I want to finish my homework and that’s 3 weeks overdue but I just find myself wandering upstairs and playing video games till my mind turns blank.,6.56310606060606,7.973046068181818,5.684545454545457,80.43015151515155,65.5909090909091,8.593939393939394,32.84848484848485,8.841846274778883,2.8022666666666667,193,8,33,3,3,58,35,44,0.0,0.843,0.157,0.5423,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,8,3,4,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,1,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,3,4,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,17,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6497988317469051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20839125335974848,0.3053695157482045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489679107669188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723963053709552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14560362512853084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3009278651364201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3241737774382775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17578729005249233,0.0,0.2390636941802171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Azqn,2020/02/23,"8 YEARS... Im 18 years old and i’ve been smoking weed constantly for the past 8 years of my life.
the first thing i ever smoked was k2 and thats what started it all, it further progressed to other substances.

(Alcohol, LSD, Shrooms, Ecstasy, Molly, Coke, Xanax and a few other things i’m not proud of.)

in my earlier years (12-16) i would smoke about an Oz to Half Oz a week. i’ve well smoked over my body weight and now i’m at a point in my life where everything is catching up to me. my mental health isn’t how it used to be.
i’m beginning to have symptoms of schizophrenia and i’ve had severe depression from childhood. the fact is that i want help but i’m to scared to actually seek the help i need.",0.9322448979591798,2.979533380952386,2.6007074829932013,93.87167346938776,82.5374149659864,6.096870748299319,22.044897959183675,7.3011,0.6464171428571429,545,18,124,8,15,179,95,147,0.071,0.853,0.076,-0.0585,0,0,4,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,3,6,4,0,1,8,0,9,9,1,2,3,15,18,7,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,10,5,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,2,3,1,10,2,18,13,2,23,0,1,0,0,2,8,0,0,14,71,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.16508718786791693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807931120194428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879116353054021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18281452161788192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457073478930666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15302549901641185,0.0,0.0,0.15204062673815436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14389737204004882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17982161932284546,0.0,0.0,0.2267844655031088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827344792690128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389819667640473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17048529636223494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543868108522874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775172542879703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614935415451164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15992194923002034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16937039623149874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19111588205775454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974060867055505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17583418374588186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247803371427412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461100429401844,0.0,0.0,0.09978185898796073,0.0,0.13569934330694905,0.2060055704268058,0.15210568604147787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12017473062690084,0.0,0.0,0.4357641447716075
addiction,claydoughhoe,2020/02/23,Sad and uneasy. I would love a friend to talk to . I am going to treatment in a week or less for drugs and alcohol. I just recently had a relapse. Im feeling really alone and sad. Hope I can find somebody that gets me.,-0.4973188405797089,1.6864011521739144,2.27826086956522,92.38376811594203,91.82608695652176,5.67536231884058,20.71014492753623,7.1686216300943375,0.7303449275362324,167,6,37,3,6,58,35,46,0.214,0.564,0.222,0.1137,0,1,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,3,0,4,3,0,0,0,9,9,4,0,2,2,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,5,3,5,7,1,4,0,2,0,1,3,1,0,2,2,24,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3086244597379679,0.0,0.2990952522880898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3349001320380793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14601890285777513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639452159615497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231153842269909,0.0,0.15087879081250402,0.0,0.1641237660870448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868297061860296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31193848764455706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606406831713965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850037370610303,0.0,0.2851413828726694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321152862645271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231646748303112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20514532273715447,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Pulp501,2020/02/23,Starting detox tomorrow I'm going to one hospital to detox for alcoholism tomorrow and then when I'm released from there I'm going to a rehab facility. Can someone tell me what to expect in detox? I have a pretty good idea what the rehab will be like but no idea on the detox. I've never had any bad symptoms from withdrawal before so hopefully I won't be there long.,2.632065637065637,4.840345797297296,4.638262548262549,80.63743243243248,77.51351351351352,8.012355212355214,25.43629343629344,8.841846274778883,2.2205158301158305,295,11,55,7,7,101,51,74,0.037000000000000005,0.768,0.195,0.8725,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,4,0,7,8,0,0,1,7,14,5,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,8,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,2,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,1,0,3,3,9,9,0,11,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,8,35,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25709361511704826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16359422504779642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20086390685691824,0.0,0.0,0.2047053185105537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734402346837201,0.2017766986423993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23893791875386844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5431431021651604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175291833050546,0.0,0.0,0.21289476571275034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855405722994121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16301483930467398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447437462330641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038321563194123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17027499341965058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25004185975582177,0.0,0.0,0.2102666956572022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,psycho-cactus,2020/02/23,"Worried about my friend Not sure if this kind of post is even allowed here but one of my close friends has started doing and selling coke. They started telling me about it in more detail and it made me really worried about them. They don’t seem to understand how serious what they’re doing actually is....can anyone advise me any ways to help them out or help them think more rationally...? 

TLDR:
friend doing and selling coke and I’m worried about them. Any advice on getting them to stop?",3.437634408602153,5.930126311827962,3.91956989247312,85.36602150537635,76.20430107526882,6.2838709677419375,26.46236559139785,7.3871296695380915,1.4885397849462367,389,15,71,5,9,122,62,93,0.126,0.71,0.16399999999999998,0.802,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,7,0,7,6,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,3,1,18,14,8,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,6,2,1,3,0,2,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,12,5,12,13,2,9,0,0,0,0,14,4,0,3,3,48,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.1712258056139238,0.0,0.0,0.1714596402698574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23864063844980896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12268725648878134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11589113446320773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4066850031116871,0.0,0.09167176245848473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352172407077473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18271689020319412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16602658500152329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188977340645571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680442943388215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11240558428696802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15973420550774484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483861097775943,0.0,0.0,0.1466942637082245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165371055818177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15336170479644415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124290989087004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826623479579177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392737347017146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5345711722506791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,notMcLovin77,2020/02/23,"Advice and/or Experience on Benzo Addiction. For a Friend. Hey I read the rules and don’t think this is off. If it is, I’ll delete the post.

A buddy of mine recently had some shit happen in his life all at once. Car accidents, trouble with the police and dwindling prospects in school and his athletic career due to basically incidents involving opiates and benzos. He’s gotten into therapy and has had some family interventions but he’s apparently been going behind people’s backs getting more, stealing money, and while he was apparently gettin clean he started on cocaine. I don’t have a lot of experience dealing with this and I was looking for some advice or experience maybe to inform me on what’s going on in his head and how to help him without just lecturing or pressuring him. I don’t want him to think I’m one of his parents but I can’t condone him throwing his life away.. while I also can empathize with the stress he’s under and how much pressure he probably feels. I know it’s a tall order, but, yeah, experiences and general tips on how to communicate and how you might like to be communicated to would be appreciated.",5.206666666666664,6.833583185185188,6.6101851851851885,71.71583333333334,69.0,9.65925925925926,31.092592592592588,9.978442167317967,3.332431481481481,912,38,158,23,16,310,131,216,0.1,0.7979999999999999,0.10300000000000001,0.1432,3,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,0,7,8,1,3,8,1,18,5,2,4,1,41,31,24,0,3,8,1,1,1,1,2,3,0,1,0,5,15,0,0,5,1,1,4,5,6,0,1,6,2,19,2,30,21,7,26,0,0,1,0,23,14,1,8,7,114,24,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15160081809596787,0.0,0.2717844154829728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11120982043436113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13065566375653534,0.10693200697130366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14336938034128838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5441270127457165,0.13109762241993764,0.0,0.07031518331501188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10744087810056303,0.0,0.07265545505886975,0.0,0.15806710601025706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12297426705441088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14272028431042275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321199463713008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07642620549542341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964507203345091,0.0679398841881006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11677914523823593,0.0,0.0,0.11822765430405867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13970896926046886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14752544508957974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022283992988614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14809914064454,0.09423369576690546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15441465622845782,0.0,0.0,0.09640980580070573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13318533807793814,0.0,0.14993503814167966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391021203543527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373094045701504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14074068567804834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14274769803818005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09843056003404667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15929790061466187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15903236107972538,0.0,0.0,0.17821381686142668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08202383778126254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340532034501885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09878742198556524,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,RazingThyself,2020/02/23,"Please read this. I've never posted on reddit before. Dear Reddit,

I'm sorry if this is a long post but as a 27 year old male I have found reddit to be a sanctuary for me since I was 19. Reddit was that person whom I adored but could never muster up the courage to approach. I lurked, I even flirted with the idea of posting on some sports subreddits. But those were the good days in my relationship with reddit. Today as someone who has never reached out for help I am truly desperate. My heart is broken, my soul is tortured and my future is in jeopardy. Dear reddit community, please help me. I come from an impoverished family who risked it all to make it to this country which makes this even more painful for me. If I was an addict in the nation by parents were born in, I'd be dead. However, as a first generation college student in my family I made it from the depths of poverty to graduating from UC Berkeley in Political Science. I'm no better or worse but I sacrificed everything, this country gave me an opportunity to prove my will and my desire through education. I was given a battlefield where all other factors were meaningless, merit was key. 

Today, as I lay in bed 13 days sober and completely dead inside and out, the pain of everything I built being destroyed before my very eyes is otherworldly. In the span of 2 years I went from having foot surgery to being a full blown addict in Los Angeles with nothing left. I first took an opiate when I returned home from college and although I no longer had access to them after my post surgery cycle, I was able to obtain adderall and the rest feels like a flash. When I stopped 13 days ago I had been taking adderall for almost 2 years intermittently and looking for anything I could get my hands on to sleep. This can't be real, all I ever wanted was to teach History and give back to the country that saved my life. To the next generation of youth that without the opportunity I was given, would be relegated to the doldrums of history. Believe it or not, I loved education so much that I'm mourning that loss more than the damage I've inflicted on my family, on my body an on my soul. My thoughts are scattered, my pain is deserved but I just want help. I didn't sleep for 6 days when i stopped, the stress on my family caused my 65 year old mother to get into an accident. I had never seen my father cry before. I saw that too. I don't know if I deserve life any longer for what I've done but if reddit can be the one thing I gain instead of lose from this nightmare, I'd be forever grateful. If there is any help out there for trash like me, I can only promise that if I make it out of this grave I'll spend the rest of my days paying it forward.",5.980121863799282,5.845853155555559,6.783918757467145,77.45102150537636,66.51851851851852,9.486260454002393,31.493428912783752,9.11188708381993,2.550034647550776,2144,76,418,34,31,713,261,540,0.182,0.688,0.131,-0.988,2,0,0,0,0,1,46.0,0,0,1,9,14,27,2,2,29,0,45,15,7,5,9,65,72,31,4,12,17,3,2,2,0,2,7,0,2,2,29,17,0,2,6,2,2,5,11,12,0,3,27,6,60,15,72,33,10,71,3,5,4,1,17,29,0,10,37,292,89,7,0.07627741898639644,0.0,0.0,0.16630729133016772,0.0,0.0,0.06761532961533544,0.0,0.07638081686453166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10374252114980016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276981656850149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05865262687645454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947193963801574,0.08593853068012093,0.0,0.06746117847476261,0.0,0.08472701698068161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07835792088110717,0.0,0.06570624239252586,0.07997542256861011,0.0,0.0,0.1218026246211303,0.0,0.08378716304489509,0.2459631248639813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07805828257730248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10076103170208632,0.06899729243784655,0.0,0.0,0.13710645157720838,0.0,0.2876302484157212,0.0,0.03856815491952431,0.05449260336483058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12976306724698253,0.0,0.08363425283723491,0.0,0.0,0.07970360637204724,0.07317225076548006,0.0,0.06397788008815758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09038910876033313,0.20450858435038385,0.0,0.07651247052395074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08610792151629225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041920074648082326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287563891343554,0.0,0.1077539936427344,0.07453058799099463,0.0,0.0,0.06750311549256686,0.06405382098970289,0.08533492083763253,0.0,0.0,0.06884334870449144,0.07217553815576214,0.1527473084318552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056072679547316505,0.0,0.2353193915041203,0.0,0.08112190044048402,0.0,0.0,0.07319024073081372,0.0,0.16008063996650712,0.0,0.0516875531803016,0.05801241433129457,0.2434936552783017,0.0,0.08469704696045058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660250010171655,0.0,0.16745940073607818,0.0,0.0,0.29221072945151416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762980607392602,0.08682040205873515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818934019642222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630974692146457,0.0,0.15266501125230922,0.0,0.0646296095775932,0.0,0.0,0.08538632563099906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12754267549871304,0.08737552573441981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05735112623585055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05067532782380309,0.0,0.0,0.06055575040481793,0.0,0.0,0.14460414862920598,0.0,0.08474701910411099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06293685908133104,0.08998079599591331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07070993159114931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07352870993684202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773320650935148,0.054185289941870635,0.0,0.0,0.1964806278952902
addiction,Sprocket_the_dog,2020/02/23,Day one of quiting masturbation I told my girlfriend last night that I've been jacking off for years now that I want to quit. I also want to quit watching porn but I'm finding it a bit difficult. I want to quit and I need a little encouragement and my girlfriend doesn't quit understand so I don't get much help from her because she doesn't know what to do. It's hard but I'm trying to stay strong. Wish me luck and luck to anyone else out there struggling as well,2.6470360824742265,4.247922608247425,3.6150386597938144,90.74049613402063,75.49484536082474,6.499484536082474,24.496134020618552,7.1686216300943375,0.8241556701030932,371,12,81,4,8,119,65,97,0.10800000000000001,0.65,0.242,0.922,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,6,5,7,0,1,2,0,5,1,0,0,0,16,16,8,0,5,2,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,2,1,1,2,2,11,5,12,14,2,9,0,0,1,1,7,3,0,2,5,47,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11279915059787725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09862676558933428,0.14452433661327566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598392685474475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15399213875808426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909668042517574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11783076006595038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12891887794754775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07369379417153119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12635479376678274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454411291678988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07751843344078414,0.11497612151941802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14137105586489584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10368937350005207,0.10458819392541233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13236764966262665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955804154587185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7501302712620792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15034255402032576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14745806777710824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13478113166531944,0.0,0.09576497877226997,0.0,0.0,0.146839998624391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24958818909249256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12682259452373418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16220271974735098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083279671951444
addiction,TheGreatBillingsby,2020/02/23,"I think I may be becoming addicted to benzos I don't want to fall into the trap. I've been self-medicating my insomnia with etizolam, but lately I've had a strong desire to stop due to knowing how bad the withdrawals are, but I think it might be already too late. I take a maximum of 3mg per 24 hours, which if I'm correct is equal to about 1.5mg of Xanax. I can get by with as little as just 1mg at bedtime, but I need something to help me sleep. I want to get the hell off these before I'm truly addicted, because right now I'm fully aware it's becoming a problem, and I'm glad I caught myself, because I'm a few steps away from falling into the trap for life. I'd rather withdraw off anything other than benzos, codeine withdrawal for me was a walk in the park, if I could go back to using that to sleep, I would, but I feel this need to take benzos that I just can't shake. I'm deathly afraid of seizures, but I'm prescribed gabapentin (which I don't even take)  I'm wondering if maybe I should start taking it. Some people say it helps, and since I'm on low doses it makes sense to me. I wouldn't say I'm addicted yet, but I'm starting to feel a state of dependence coming on, and I want to stop before it takes complete hold. Any advice for me?",6.0915903197925685,4.296048576779025,6.915880149812738,82.06037165082108,66.97752808988764,10.013137424373381,32.14894842984731,8.617729084823388,2.252439008931144,978,31,219,12,13,328,148,267,0.128,0.773,0.099,-0.6705,0,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,1,10,8,1,2,11,0,17,9,2,4,1,48,53,15,1,15,12,0,2,0,0,5,7,2,0,0,13,8,0,3,6,0,0,8,4,6,0,0,4,4,23,2,37,41,3,32,1,1,0,0,4,12,1,8,11,125,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3576273864067669,0.0,0.1068568883686558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067195055704065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07436267807083155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998685611869027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027392071171896,0.08408444988770727,0.09130382223019493,0.1333191543772146,0.2415399828554859,0.1860999151448028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09419651838273913,0.11465282578704185,0.0,0.0,0.08730816701287485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07222554531644455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058267164821334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11426314988374935,0.0,0.06214690077677654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14659182996728615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10768906744631963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060096650461373115,0.0,0.2467062056353906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07723810305834777,0.0,0.10959879544209164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299288531653955,0.0,0.1098581440428557,0.0,0.12146471510054375,0.0,0.0,0.11600451769436428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621653032377954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07581046792386974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10463448815479356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09338546829053153,0.0,0.17392118910418694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11407732242246398,0.0,0.0,0.09045657919798762,0.0,0.2188606746512872,0.0,0.0,0.0841840232610399,0.0,0.0,0.15479891806057358,0.0,0.0,0.18284527526968825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4110930879651551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14013587865420932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09444446965838048,0.0,0.0,0.19349480495676655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11858689080968562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768007230716417,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,TheFirstTribes,2020/02/24,"How to help a friend Well today a ""friend"" of mine opened up about her addiction to drugs. She mainly smokes weed but has done a bit more then that in the past. She told me it started with her drinking and that escalating  to smoking and then due to her cousin who smoked weed because of her boyfriend making her move on to that as well. She tried a few more drugs but I'm not entirely sure which. Her cousin which is also her best friend and another good friend of hers is enabling this by doing the  same drugs and almost pushing her to doing the same thing. She won't go to rehab because she doesn't want to lose those friends. Is there anything I could do to help her in this case? I told her to move on from the people who enable it but she refuses. She does acknowledge that she is addicted though.",3.825786749482402,5.148128757763973,3.8611335403726734,91.2767106625259,71.98136645962731,7.1057971014492765,23.97567287784679,7.492282038375204,0.8168380952380954,634,17,136,7,12,194,91,161,0.023,0.772,0.205,0.9871,0,0,6,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,4,8,11,0,0,8,0,12,7,0,2,1,20,19,13,0,2,4,2,0,0,5,1,6,0,0,0,14,6,1,1,1,1,0,4,3,1,2,0,3,0,23,10,23,14,8,16,0,1,0,0,33,6,0,1,6,103,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2720924282825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12496530830757045,0.0,0.0,0.0997994287593192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308596348692298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10269659060866776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521491383065095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309658505240795,0.0,0.13624506390362692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996395637234859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10920994385423102,0.12770978039594275,0.0,0.12225270765721945,0.43417170974042746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4820859442968238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07092452277977201,0.10467308204180732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672964452593983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396149600074358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330239308295105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652770956474237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11913203742995605,0.0865179307738049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833135082396525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761888586028005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829090107313241,0.0,0.12261157477178525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11829214950693805,0.23849612122853345,0.0,0.08472838781111112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07360799723661646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22441343609694908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,RichMan_24,2020/02/24,Gabapentin causing sexual issues. Anyone who’s taken Gabapentin daily have sexual side effects from it?? Loss of libido and orgasm issues?,6.643030303030303,10.632885727272726,6.042727272727273,64.80075757575759,78.0909090909091,6.56969696969697,25.51515151515152,7.793537801064563,2.8334060606060607,114,4,11,2,3,35,19,22,0.124,0.8759999999999999,0.0,-0.4291,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28782218482141697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42285874731939055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8592722908019913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Forensix78,2020/02/24,"Bulk Narcan? Delete if not allowed. Hey guys, I’m looking for the absolute cheapest way to get 4mg Narcan sprays for an outreach effort. There’s a community near me that has been hit particularly hard by heroin/fentanyl use, and a few of us are going to go and charitably distribute Narcan, as well as provide education on its proper use. Any ideas?

Direct from the manufacturer, their public interest rate is $75/unit (2x 4mg sprays), with a minimum purchase of 12 units. That’s still a little steep considering what we’re working with.

Thank you!",5.0364320388349535,6.904793067961164,6.501152912621361,71.38435072815534,69.77669902912622,9.033495145631068,30.350728155339805,9.516144504307137,3.041874757281553,438,18,75,10,8,149,85,103,0.017,0.853,0.13,0.8767,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,1,1,1,2,3,4,0,0,7,0,4,0,0,3,0,10,13,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,1,0,1,2,4,4,14,11,1,7,0,0,1,0,6,3,0,1,1,41,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774944387848314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13636594450703582,0.0,0.2966738036272341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584390261486313,0.0,0.0,0.23381196461255616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946463424075373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26159865665351845,0.0,0.0,0.21918104327105545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084413828424943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24030116444868055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31396057261403376,0.4508543418078064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20717605801702146,0.0,0.0,0.23467760184537806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900169844468805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,DubsNoScrubs,2020/02/24,"Feel like Cola is way more addictive than coffee/other caffeine drinks It's not the caffeine in Cola & it's not the sugar either, I found out from testing.
Do they still put coca leaves in there? Could this be the problem?",3.231136363636363,5.4297462045454585,3.986363636363638,86.07454545454546,75.5909090909091,5.3090909090909095,22.363636363636363,5.985473137389443,0.4996545454545456,179,5,32,1,4,57,36,44,0.07,0.872,0.057,-0.1431,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,4,3,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,2,0,2,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,2,2,1,5,3,2,6,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,23,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3367222897944157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33466886360692266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24661371330961546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30258255928508565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15617784805195994,0.2206622936986792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.338668459997826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3270568904785435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15090204432605964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2955542482102435,0.0,0.3105074054582008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466701336811967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24517274463304697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,guarpati,2020/02/24,"Can't get over drinking and smoking They say ""old habits die hard"" and I guess that's true!

Hi there! I am 27 y.o. male struggling to give up smoking and drinking and generally destructing myself. I need someone to tell me that this is doable because I am tired of trying and failing.

I can't make a shortcut of my situation so you'll have to stick with me here. I've been smoking and drinking for almost 8 years straight no attempts to give up at all. I never gave it any thought, never thought why I am doing this to myself. I guess I was just young and stupid. I had quite a rough childhood...well it was good, not complaining here, but I had a few traumatic incidents and problems with parent support - grown up without father (died when I was 12, seen him a couple of times before he passed away) and my mother never cared about my teen issues. So I grew up learning to deal with my problems on my own, friends were never there to truly understand and not just ""listen"". Fifteen years old me was having quintessential issues - all I thought about at the time was what's my purpose of living and why on Earth I was born in such a shitty place to live (living in a shithole in some CIS country btw).

I guess all that stuff eventually determined my behavior in some way. I started having this tendency of self-destruction. As years passed I kept on smoking and drinking. Been in a deep depression couple of times, but made it through eventually. Traveled around the world for some time and after coming back home I began working as an ESL teacher (had to make a living somehow) then I found that I am doing pretty well at teaching and it became my profession. My job was incompatible with smoking so I quit. I still don't really understand how I gave it up so easily. I quitted cold turkey, but the other self-destructive habits remained. For some time I was really happy with myself - life took a new turn and it seemed to be brighter than it ever was. But all good things must come to an end, right!?

After three years of not smoking I started all over. Came back from 0 to 15 cigarettes a day. It was awful, I hated every single cigarette I smoked, but this time I couldn't quit. So last half a year I was trying to give up smoking because it affects my mind. I can't think clearly when I smoke, my decision making became worse and critical thinking in general has blunted. I've been failing to quit over and over again. Every time I returned to smoking I analyzed what I did wrong to start it again and couldn't see the reason behind it. Then I've made some research into why I am doing what I am doing and found out that this self-destructive behavior comes from my adolescence - I tend to smoke and drink whenever I feel bad or stressed and I perceive it as a support of some kind, which makes sense since nobody ever was there to support me when I needed it.

Now I work on myself. I've put a lot of effort to quit smoking. I go to the gym and work my ass off, also I work on my mindset and always try to keep myself in a good state, but however long I hold on to good things in my life there's always a moment when I break - something happens and I start feeling this urge to smoke or drink. It feels like some part of me just can't stand me being a ""good guy"". So I am wondering is it even possible to overcome this dark part of my nature that always wants me to destroy myself and hate life?! I look at it as a battle and I always lose it. Neither cigarettes nor alcohol give no pleasure or consolation any more, but still can't get rid of that shit.

TL;DR - struggling to overcome bad habits, fail to keep self-improvement consistent.

Sorry if there were any mistakes in my post, English is not my mother tongue.  
Any advice/help/words of consolation will be greatly appreciated.",4.254420316525582,5.657408457489879,5.095132867132868,82.52941258741261,71.03778677462888,7.656297386823699,28.18257882468409,8.121257012390899,1.880123130904184,2981,109,567,42,55,969,329,741,0.161,0.7390000000000001,0.1,-0.9942,3,0,15,0,0,0,88.0,0,1,1,16,38,39,7,3,24,1,53,13,2,9,14,125,114,56,2,10,19,4,5,1,1,3,5,2,1,2,39,38,7,4,18,8,0,12,21,22,1,2,35,11,85,17,96,71,20,105,0,5,3,1,23,39,2,19,50,403,124,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05344897574154038,0.05008106561385819,0.0,0.0,0.03999559403814351,0.16646018884618885,0.0,0.0,0.13604295481324766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044522413827439766,0.0,0.0,0.04698911360507843,0.07691423516023882,0.08351798297331214,0.06097525050605325,0.0,0.04255760921271262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057201857319334526,0.05099186208747174,0.0,0.0,0.12924601116808185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11067746421953832,0.0,0.03225442172672728,0.051561485408699134,0.04307635626109018,0.0,0.10381175659553216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2939637867455471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04429691259294742,0.0,0.0,0.033033293221661666,0.09047973225756208,0.08427667424565204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07586463629562497,0.03572949016013071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967393845332238,0.03864012842416266,0.0,0.05225973882236901,0.1919091437945261,0.028423693960111338,0.20974379052618009,0.0,0.05513980685928136,0.1652857667182381,0.04952100048461157,0.04422656958743537,0.053240056025703836,0.044802066411701265,0.09875549990983412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0335228407206418,0.0,0.05016738775371387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10440172027990127,0.049630453410585376,0.08890818489049368,0.0,0.05208112457082259,0.0,0.04076749032237337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10597755524168014,0.024433957508182242,0.0,0.17665053517294865,0.04426017022204593,0.04199855072894953,0.0559520563547075,0.0,0.04251949375656112,0.0,0.09464753089784624,0.13353698463290853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05049914563102799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741684121423187,0.1542932685183622,0.04830312792522175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10496102768696423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05553381778633537,0.10831899554435538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05225322248364644,0.0,0.0,0.05638244741777225,0.04789888782117169,0.05088147579763571,0.0,0.0957118901123426,0.0,0.050277150219040376,0.0,0.3191716141063054,0.0,0.0,0.06407956299163567,0.0514219713720628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04271105940658023,0.0,0.039772559777617865,0.0,0.0,0.03985410103823201,0.045530202741622665,0.20869899285704954,0.0,0.05133790305851906,0.04137149385835445,0.05621701107817904,0.0,0.0,0.04237608146550854,0.03850265875843735,0.0,0.055985761242074994,0.14159860000466187,0.0,0.07988132423018675,0.0,0.057290031934481914,0.1045694579294688,0.057253228706588825,0.0,0.17026339871230387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043713802500770116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06645318869131257,0.06409296807906156,0.0,0.11911484979398175,0.2041419799828522,0.057482896742879236,0.0,0.0,0.055566583319727886,0.10186718234346047,0.05440007620827924,0.0,0.104131155995659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02949912251037402,0.039698205887683684,0.0,0.0,0.04496793618170037,0.0,0.13538759162481348,0.0,0.0,0.048211007658904674,0.05423725801166936,0.14564102518273214,0.0,0.05096779499589461,0.0,0.054681659651258194,0.0,0.16103453100875031
addiction,Thesixxxx,2020/02/24,"Signed up at a clinic today So today I went to a methadone/sub clinic . I’m not using much but I am 9 weeks pregnant. I feel like this is my only option . I am very worried because my husband has no idea and would 100% not support any of this . I meet with the doc later on today I hope we can make a plan to taper I do not want to be on anything when I give birth . I’m so scared I can’t have my husband knowing , but I had to do this I can’t have my baby die from detox and I don’t want it going through withdrawals either . Such a crappy situation I feel so ashamed",-0.5749142857142857,1.3473021199999984,2.146542857142858,95.57570000000004,87.80000000000004,3.891428571428572,19.32857142857143,4.65589566412798,-0.520622857142857,435,13,101,1,14,151,79,125,0.25,0.695,0.055,-0.9784,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,0,1,5,5,0,2,5,0,15,3,0,2,0,22,29,8,1,4,6,2,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,4,0,0,2,7,2,0,0,2,2,18,3,12,25,2,13,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,2,8,69,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303246930128085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15770692641926445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11682458403655112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988965224697644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19380222860400875,0.13691072332309445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18384267149817196,0.10891586983615884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903460278113083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163430831101103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10532269312592987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936277226766548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12792405569277768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14088060840275204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14575412289702933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19186937286939784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21541621823544516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21747567596287495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5449691525599513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16551913990055556,0.0,0.15812661477777587,0.22607354217433415,0.0,0.15372549440993322,0.0,0.0,0.17765618235297678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19462408517851693,0.0,0.1361386093034604,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,emoneybGs,2020/02/24,"Trying to not relapse on meth So I’m currently 3-4 months clean from meth. I stopped after doing research on how bad it actually is for ur body and then seeing them apply to me and I have a previous history of heart condition with having murmers as a kid. Meth gives me intense chest pain and makes my heart beat off rythm and I’m scared if I relapse I am going to die. I stopped when my gf found out I was doing it behind ur back for quite some time. After she found out I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders and didn’t have any cravings. I knew it was l a lie but I honestly didn’t have any craving up until now. I was scrolling through reddit when I came across a meth sub and was trigger so deeply. Like it was post talking spun m fun and that made me realize how much I miss meth sex.. there was nothing like it not even close no drug, and since stopping sex hasn’t been the same I don’t perform nearly as well and I’m just not as interested in it but percs make it okay n bearable but it’s nothing like that meth sex and I just keep reading all these post about how actually hard it is to Od on meth (which I understand) but the chest pains I get are real n I’m scared I am going to slip up and i won’t get another chance",1.5693304678459228,3.186073471482892,3.2718465862126003,91.97166143164159,78.54372623574146,6.24691684575963,23.22185485204166,7.079830092131019,0.6520667548355101,965,31,219,11,23,321,149,263,0.126,0.7759999999999999,0.098,-0.5389,1,0,8,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,3,15,14,0,2,7,1,23,13,6,7,1,47,44,28,2,1,10,0,3,3,1,1,3,0,1,1,13,16,1,4,6,1,0,3,9,6,1,0,15,4,26,8,31,28,4,32,0,1,1,3,8,13,0,2,17,139,39,2,0.0,0.0,0.2376532454984353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656109078654086,0.12768288228878474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09363098831649526,0.10167001299174276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13525522656845132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392685352247299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263744916485358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14121058125450175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042568154644215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169150179673971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670215527347685,0.0,0.0,0.12723603075311746,0.11680960463962888,0.13840551370218204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10907894352741086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2885879810329395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10823173634086963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17846700953664527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521848772491712,0.16256028317690993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09719292710512928,0.0,0.08951245124328755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336766463736787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591364650558174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23323745970372425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12951375259766074,0.12179953761826726,0.13859703279646596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24381918957863666,0.0,0.097032203750085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007265781169737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3054069543542093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978713692705922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710030754305552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267151882408642,0.0,0.0,0.12676331019999468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482788974570733,0.10948278425896052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,cyrildb,2020/02/24,"My husband's doctor gave him opioid My husband was taking suboxone for a long time. He wanted to stop it so he went to a detox center for a week. A few days later, he met up with his primary care doctor. He didn't mention to his doctor he was recovering, so she prescribed him percoset, good for 5 days. After that, my husband reconnected with his source to get more percoset. I'm keeping his suboxone so he cannot take them. I talked to him and told him to finish all the percs he has and then, later on, I'll give him the suboxone again. I think in this situation, this is the best option. 

**Now, my question is... is it ethical to speak with his primary care doctor and disclose his history?** I think this will prevent him from getting opioids from the doctor. I know he can get opioids from the street, but also, I'm hoping that giving him back his suboxone will help to stop opioids again.",2.4259024064171117,4.66028826136364,4.06923796791444,84.32790106951873,78.31818181818181,6.641176470588236,25.12566844919786,7.724431198458867,1.510329946524065,698,26,133,11,17,233,94,176,0.025,0.8490000000000001,0.126,0.9423,0,0,4,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,1,1,8,5,0,0,9,0,11,6,0,0,1,19,32,9,0,2,1,3,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,0,7,6,0,4,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,7,1,24,5,21,23,4,22,0,0,0,0,37,5,0,3,16,89,31,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10549376634336943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143582746558248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13843847611059354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689958088552875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17015076340332858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6751118468694876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067631501322894,0.25309310764715864,0.0,0.11064549964498303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842100764340917,0.0,0.0,0.13102308434289572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11725365641407776,0.0,0.0,0.07249798833910735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11674216043070434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14777693519760932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482799386739478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22057659674199184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19836993688519453,0.10602967570516517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16905383608847646,0.0,0.0,0.07692170977149336,0.0,0.0,0.1260520946836252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07780790890306467,0.0,0.1058156487494058,0.0,0.0,0.12228813614931695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Throwaway4VPN,2020/02/24,"From 120mg diazepam, to zero, and then.... After a 12 year battle with addiction to benzos (and alcohol, and any other GABA A/B drug) I was finally clean from August last year until three weeks ago

I was on huge doses just to get through the day, and then beers every evening on top of that. I know I'm not as bad as I was, but I really wanted to never touch a benzo again...

I'm still clean from alcohol, but the anxiety is so intense I can't hold down a job with no benzos. I'm taking 0.25mg Xanax when working, and it makes all the difference I get through the day and no one notices my anxiety. BUT I live with the guilt of letting myself down....",5.6573015873015855,4.442266666666671,6.965502645502646,79.47333333333336,67.51851851851852,10.084656084656084,30.396825396825395,9.23628265651192,2.3697936507936497,500,15,106,8,7,172,85,135,0.10800000000000001,0.799,0.09300000000000001,-0.4377,1,0,4,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,2,6,3,1,1,8,0,6,7,0,1,2,20,15,16,0,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,2,0,3,9,3,1,1,1,0,0,5,3,0,3,3,1,10,0,22,11,1,23,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,17,74,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026198956320865,0.0,0.0,0.1647577916784122,0.3972655568556736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12639433087903945,0.0,0.2843718864771123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15518921341821448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23973463720404625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941889927680676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155439778786572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12276184383717782,0.0,0.1565989780891275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20360563152543776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19421320948031853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18444197889307895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10214634706810301,0.15150449115097667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900591902858706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641218850565192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12406609253269076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14335027095147526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21160812807333249,0.0,0.0,0.1259466923801779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11906964970684915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14843174407180504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13974708047190385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10962778208796907,0.0,0.1490894055133774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13531167381492515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23938147269102275
addiction,aurifelix,2020/02/24,"Lasting cognitive impacts Anyone in the late recovery phase still find their cognition impaired? I struggle with online shooters and video games as well as memory etc. Stuff I was good at or at least didn't notice any serious impairment  


Just venting, curious to hear others experiences. Mine was Pregabalin addiction, I abused on and off for 3 years, went through a lot of CT withdrawals and my latest and most successful withdrawal was tapered which made it easier. I still think that the CT withdrawals or the time spent on the drug itself may have had a lasting impact on my brain.",7.465302197802195,9.006296134615386,6.996593406593409,71.36269230769231,63.615384615384606,10.942857142857143,36.01098901098901,10.914260884657429,4.444787362637364,474,22,74,13,7,148,82,104,0.051,0.795,0.154,0.8479,0,0,1,1,1,0,8.0,0,0,1,1,4,5,0,1,6,0,7,3,1,1,0,14,12,8,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,6,5,0,0,2,2,1,1,1,2,1,0,8,1,8,3,14,3,4,16,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,5,8,55,14,1,0.0,0.23337049839453175,0.0,0.21472016989990314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133942484355096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377220245433969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21987730891949364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284160664806757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196672697661983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19266888874888347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18002181017197855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16520431753160186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219930912411407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3211044007208987,0.2221843197816792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16745201205289328,0.0,0.18637239163080485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22424517133603333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.314591903289776,0.0,0.0,0.205909861366446,0.2254770105761992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12620677617574652,0.0,0.0,0.11485147255819468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17709456830797493,0.182587887800058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268385573064273
addiction,bexsimplex,2020/02/24,"I don’t know how long it’s been all I know is I’m thinking about it now. I’m new to Reddit. I was on a thread for relationship advice and someone asked if their abusers knew that they hurt their loved ones when they were together or if they didn’t even care. I decided to share and part of me feels free now that I did.... but that other part.. she misses my little box of trinkets filled with the poisons, devices, pretty flames or clear glass, that showed me an escape.  I feel blind sided. I said goodbye to the “forbidden” love who “lied” to me every damn day, at least two years ago. Wow I’ve never jumped so quickly to talk to people in recovery before when feeling like this. This platform has brought me so much that I didn’t know I needed.",3.0154415011037514,4.510625947019868,3.696307947019868,90.97417494481236,74.29801324503312,6.357836644591613,23.179359823399558,6.816661863887847,0.558668432671082,582,16,124,5,12,184,107,151,0.149,0.657,0.19399999999999998,0.7876,1,0,0,0,1,0,18.0,0,0,5,0,10,11,2,0,4,0,9,4,0,1,3,22,27,12,0,3,5,0,3,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,11,3,0,0,9,1,1,3,4,4,0,2,9,5,20,8,14,18,5,20,0,2,1,2,14,6,1,4,12,82,31,0,0.0,0.20383197940854653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16810948580751314,0.15249762685592713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16082842557900115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14638813426739958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17539997410323846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11094760034215104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362673451079335,0.0,0.14494593720501014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609564486736709,0.12290101581421906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841657930155728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2836359123511235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404704866088343,0.1724231112113995,0.0,0.1522445424219788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31053453002376297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12646467318972082,0.12756091890432505,0.13268310959109836,0.1661513629891719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657458808272675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3725917869164591,0.0,0.11926660953798675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17502027131173462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18469997152642664,0.0,0.0,0.16364358537404985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457637216483037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13827429097875465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11023234376087952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16805207258684965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11078415814746888
addiction,__KJG__,2020/02/24,"How to kick a morphine addiction? Any tips? I've been addicted to morphine for about 6 months now. I take about 60mg a day, sometimes 150-200mg.

I have set a plan in my mind to quit. So I'm wondering if anyone can give some tips and tricks to tapering off, also what I might expect during the process.

I have about 300mg left, 30x 10mg tablets.

My current plan is to take 40mg for 2 days in the morning with 5mg at night to prevent night sweats.

After those 2 days, I'll drop to 30mg in the morning and 5mg at night. Followed by using the rest up with 20mg morning and 5mg night until its all gone.

Has anyone made a plan like this and how did it go? I've never experienced a full blown withdrawal so definately do not think cold turkey is a good idea as I still need to function at work.

Any help would be greatly appreciated!",2.62108213820078,3.5523531073446364,4.253333333333334,88.8187744458931,74.42372881355931,7.254063450673621,25.479791395045627,7.61054688173877,1.0806448500651893,648,21,148,8,13,218,112,177,0.023,0.884,0.09300000000000001,0.8786,2,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,5,10,4,1,0,10,0,12,3,1,4,2,24,24,12,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,3,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,4,2,7,3,27,17,4,29,0,0,0,0,2,10,0,4,15,79,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3196132405326029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11722935118191292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19937480251471712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20500068800032006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28361861020236123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14062414219584493,0.08331145670593912,0.12295418567540024,0.0,0.1616178966174342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09825734463920124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654842166643894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15927234039153718,0.0,0.0,0.0716173132160232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13870863660060787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15551065673091255,0.14801585574452275,0.0,0.11700811798677375,0.0,0.0,0.10869590817109316,0.1130605770156468,0.0,0.0,0.5502656218660035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15591834607949745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449829664206114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11706834260451313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2204374703938134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09393005959688708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266081855525099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15897247483135868,0.10672052321161646,0.0,0.0,0.10413455699388463,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,shadowstorm224,2020/02/24,"I relapsed after a year Hi. This is new to me but I’m feeling like it’s too late for me at this point and I’m just exhausted. I don’t really know what I want to say or how I should say it or what I even want. I’m just so drained.. I feel so selfish for even doing this again or feeling this way again. I just got out of a relationship that I thought made me happier then anything in the world. The only good thing I have going is I’m finally studying medicine but recently because of my mental health my grades have all went down. I feel dead. I’m 20 almost 21 and I’ve been struggling with addiction, depression, and anxiety since I was around 13. I’ve tried every thing there is to try. I’ve tried to be happy like everyone says but I don’t see the point anymore the only thing keeping me going is pills. I don’t know what I’m hoping for in this post I’m just ranting because no one knows how I feel right now everyone thinks I’m happy and it has to stay that way or it would just get worse. There’s no one to talk to at this point I might as well just give up. To give a bit of back story if anyone does read this I tried killing myself when I was 19, I oded and ended up in the hospital. I was let out once the internal bleeding was stopped and sent on my merry way I then tried to pick myself up and go to college and try to be healthy and happy and now I feel worse then I did before. I’m tired of love. I’m tired of lies. I’m tired of life.",0.44277704284115416,2.2284270662460632,2.468726976696857,95.57631118347412,82.75394321766561,5.7307011295410595,20.320443675587672,6.828538100315305,0.15238890811030847,1128,32,270,13,31,378,152,317,0.174,0.6659999999999999,0.16,-0.8098,0,0,0,0,0,1,22.0,0,0,0,0,23,14,1,1,9,0,23,10,0,4,1,53,61,27,2,6,14,0,6,2,0,3,9,3,0,0,19,14,0,2,11,1,0,5,5,5,1,2,11,10,31,9,36,44,2,45,0,1,1,1,10,18,0,8,19,166,50,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923888689476342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486383516884792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06483271761187538,0.0,0.08404818934651696,0.05925843893787128,0.0,0.0697411678156814,0.07544453661396455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06516671415404479,0.0,0.10332435112748534,0.0,0.07211511754271663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09252390765306584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299414963734639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07416438049537577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750624181554261,0.0,0.0,0.1119517692639349,0.0,0.07140464868405902,0.16196251419260255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2571097044690271,0.06054466945641963,0.0,0.09283833628145012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04427783042381337,0.1625978375934035,0.1444943502831452,0.0710834014760967,0.06778148023758633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27065051133987755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09008417474261303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841748334714564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07532876402714235,0.09376216066614416,0.0,0.1397274257295601,0.0,0.09560051117739947,0.0,0.0,0.08666154707481798,0.059860692322134736,0.08280811588494742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648923953368228,0.08019150913424902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08540701216224998,0.08990524710885511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08185106758693822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902548697831174,0.11485616869360965,0.12891079644486025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24034546358552636,0.0,0.08116607086935143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08477188796976644,0.0,0.05429234986075448,0.0,0.08367936758810085,0.09098865986251553,0.0,0.072375143398784,0.0,0.20218730866682655,0.0,0.0,0.06753394361431547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07010521027158148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033110843635464,0.0,0.07085392009955567,0.0,0.0885980073771294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06811799875018537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.168910317175341,0.0543037075177431,0.0,0.06728120268725113,0.0,0.2922193656078516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3452338589663815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09997425732304313,0.20180932412223712,0.0,0.0,0.07619948731584311,0.07856312914268285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727328482505113,0.0602032251417103,0.0,0.0,0.054575547578754914
addiction,chinchou73,2020/02/24,"What makes crack worse than nicotine? I've noticed that people who do drugs like crack, meth, and the like are extremely addicted. But what makes the addiction from those drugs worse than the addictino from nicotine? I've heard many people who do those drugs live only for the high but the same doesn't go for nicotine.",5.0662711864406775,7.403690203389836,3.812000000000001,88.74952542372883,70.6949152542373,7.431864406779661,25.359322033898305,8.238735603445708,1.5081294915254242,258,8,48,4,5,74,36,59,0.07400000000000001,0.867,0.057999999999999996,-0.2406,0,0,4,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,0,4,5,0,2,0,6,8,3,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,5,1,0,0,7,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,6,7,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,26,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3929089456479665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.62695588326762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10241696044938307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904007636965896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17608208582946652,0.0,0.15912789959285226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24058189081390066,0.18270369964751956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20516920668738767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370571089643334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2498685404408645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3672968511138836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,alisunflower,2020/02/24,"PLS HELP! Healthcare Professional addicted to stimulants but afraid of being reported after seeking help I’m a 26 year old Registered Nurse in NYC and I’ve been abusing adderall for about 8 years. I started taking it in college about once or twice a week solely to study for exams. For about 4 years I never exceeded 30mg a day. Once I graduated, passed my boards, and got a job, I was convinced I would stop. Yet I would randomly find myself craving it to get that euphoric feeling or to motivate me to do chores, crochet, or do the most random activities. 

I am now up to about 80mg a day about 3-4 times a week. On rare occurrences I’ve taken up to 120mg within a 24hr period. I’ve been wanting to stop for about 2 years but it’s been SO difficult. 

I am now developing physical symptoms such as random episodes of chest tightness, headaches, insomnia, nausea, and more. When I’ve gone a few days without it, I get extremely depressed and sometimes experience anxiety attacks. I barely leave my house or visit my family and friends anymore. I’ve lost a lot of weight. This drug is completely taking over my life.

It’s reaching a point where I’m considering seeking help from a medical professional. My biggest fear is that I could be reported by an MD for abusing drugs and potentially lose my job. I’ve tried to do research on laws against this, but google has been giving me so many mixed responses. 

So basically my questions are:

- Are MDs, therapists, or psychiatrists legally required to report me to my job for using drugs even if I’m looking for help?
- What are some tips to ease the depression / anxiety associated with the withdrawals?
- Should I see a therapist or a psychiatrist? 
- Is it safe to stop cold-turkey or is micro-dosing a necessity?

PLEASE HELP! I desperately want to stop and change my life.",4.967378335949764,6.6758020116618075,6.136924198250727,74.56084267773045,69.69970845481049,9.5917918815878,33.01738057860507,9.943994293440598,3.548800493384168,1442,68,256,37,26,482,197,343,0.149,0.6920000000000001,0.159,-0.5108,3,0,3,0,0,0,45.0,0,0,0,4,16,11,1,2,18,0,24,11,1,3,1,47,43,23,0,7,12,0,3,0,1,3,9,0,1,0,11,8,1,7,4,0,0,3,2,8,0,1,9,5,26,3,45,28,5,37,0,4,2,0,9,11,0,15,23,159,37,15,0.0,0.216652343293886,0.0,0.09966904189112658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139882973374988,0.0,0.090671123050542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10401153317642392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671775651415668,0.0,0.09585958232494426,0.0,0.0,0.07299710553105762,0.0,0.0,0.17688876151849345,0.0,0.15749206675828967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3180792541652943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060386741972549014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08943325423401657,0.0861893397734071,0.10288091374069633,0.046228292428934864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08356271955127333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706363561537354,0.0,0.09553377989421226,0.0877052120623375,0.0,0.0,0.0731226095761783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3064083134552253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10549460635953906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721818890997216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680810539091357,0.0,0.0,0.12915533913654356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07677574346196263,0.10228354670098744,0.09980348755081267,0.07772805699545407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09269273655147524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09210319178768736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07051422130090358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959373692107385,0.19473377041536027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10035950855510993,0.08642816806580783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10241928403279564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728555672543554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042374671084176,0.0,0.06471257698088488,0.0,0.0,0.3057486214949051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502777109504143,0.1374836125965425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123078361826066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05331188138960877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062073004290626135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0789636657640622,0.0,0.0,0.1078521531291006,0.0,0.146674621041339,0.1113335858465031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813246866424339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298943874295303,0.0,0.0,0.2355042376778608
addiction,Jimmythedog9,2020/02/24,"Cant stay sober Hi everyone. 
I am 20 year old male, I have trouble staying sober, I have so much energy, I work out, move around, study, socialize and what not. Basically I do everything that should tire normal human being, except having sex, I dont feel like having sex yet, I am looking for someone special.
Anyways, I need to either smoke weed, cigarettes or drink alcohol for me to actually relax. I am in college and I realize it is turning into a problem, it is not just ""I am young i let me enjoy youth"" anymore. 
I cant talk about it in real life, i feel like I ll be judged badly because of it. 
What advice do you have? I can not even fall asleep if I am sober, takes many hours, I keep waking up at nights, and I have my jaw tension 24/7. 
 

Thank you",1.8395454545454548,3.692517500000005,4.024675324675325,85.79987012987014,78.54545454545455,6.7376623376623375,23.98701298701299,7.7094869923839395,1.252641558441559,581,20,119,9,14,200,104,154,0.1,0.8079999999999999,0.091,-0.0879,0,0,4,0,0,0,27.0,0,2,0,1,7,10,0,1,1,0,23,9,3,0,0,23,31,6,0,5,8,0,2,2,0,1,3,0,0,2,7,6,2,1,3,2,0,2,6,4,0,0,0,3,24,6,14,27,2,18,0,0,1,2,7,7,0,2,9,84,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.15702385296398086,0.0,0.0,0.1572382927121225,0.0,0.17196265443297062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15957836888193436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432430155547278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343521914660033,0.09808855816470756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885840059334564,0.1576294412088052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10627879595912884,0.0,0.0,0.15375532796021935,0.14461452354851773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627207263749096,0.2299066683404216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15846283162019156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430232035550884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16454022905798055,0.11365469875295366,0.1572238993587995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351229310849988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16313634604307306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17102067166333568,0.11828653930639485,0.11931189372782658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510020811795678,0.15765653566867055,0.0,0.0,0.1688467990513331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539680644593105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18314952992484665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16402633678302386,0.1363375696573572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34301490741556306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12098345045270105,0.12933246053927866,0.0,0.1481432755262917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849410839265036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17502265247079524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171435791673038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036200414449145
addiction,thisismyusername654,2020/02/24,"How to overcome technological addiction? I find myself on my phone from the first thing I wake up, to the wee hours right before I go to sleep.

It's wreaking havoc on my sleep quality and sucking away my life.

I'm totally addicted to my phone, social media, tv, computer.

All screens and technology and especially my phone and social media/the internet.

I know its will power/self discipline. The addictive potential of these devices is strong.",5.243785714285714,7.775645950000001,6.5671428571428585,68.33500000000001,70.75,10.571428571428571,32.67857142857143,10.608840637214634,4.405482142857143,356,17,56,12,7,120,57,80,0.051,0.907,0.043,-0.1531,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,1,2,1,0,3,0,2,7,3,1,2,10,6,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,10,1,10,5,2,8,0,0,1,0,5,5,1,0,2,37,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6367927828494052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18293785122340572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16568513396553286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17796277130748378,0.16562149108109336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106590249945147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19175159271387832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10700834092078818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375304813278242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16628254571864418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20312654557943868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3897042099258379,0.3969676800999451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12935765982206548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,stephens219,2020/02/24,"How would you confront your mother about a possible addiction to online games making her go bankrupt? My mom is definitely addicted to Welder and Eggs. She is also hemorrhaging money and none of us can figure out where her money is going because she spends almost all of her free time playing these games. It seems like she may be spending money on add ons for this game but I'm not completely sure. I've asked her where her money goes because shes being deceptive and manipulative and owes me about $10,000. She refuses to tell me where her money is going. How can I let her know I know what's going on? Shes currently on the other side of the country for 2 weeks so I'd like to text her now to give her time to cool off before she gets back.",4.0083818181818165,5.274473086666667,5.304181818181821,81.32209090909092,71.46666666666667,8.121212121212123,24.96969696969697,8.575989854853784,1.636133333333334,593,17,116,10,11,198,97,150,0.043,0.866,0.091,0.7424,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,2,0,0,11,7,1,0,3,1,13,3,0,4,2,22,26,9,0,1,2,2,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,5,6,1,1,4,4,9,4,2,1,0,0,0,1,24,7,19,21,2,20,0,0,0,0,28,10,0,3,8,79,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3963210748775087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18202044659410666,0.0,0.0,0.1453646363028861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16993419226616088,0.0,0.0,0.13977301862200006,0.0,0.22161553857248897,0.0,0.1546763220775375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19058662541288687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496943488265926,0.17437422522268686,0.4132255098854797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997965201716888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858762742658253,0.0,0.17761123103858525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213355850249041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21289156192414613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20492292113312746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16548026155132609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713198840713176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588785253665806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21198781221506915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21865179216393354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14580817264164447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291270646076367,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,joanaismyrealname,2020/02/24,Do I have a problem? Ok so I've never done any hard drugs only weed and Molly but i feel like I react way differently than the people around me. For example with weed I always feel like having more and more and now I feel difficulty sleeping without it. AND even throughout the day I think about it. Weed isn't addictive so idk why i feel like this. When I did Molly for the next months all I could think about was that i wanted to do it again. I thought I would do it in the new years since I went to a techno party with some friends but we didnt get any and i was really upset about it (I didn't let it show tho) but it almost ruined my night cause I was obsessing about it so much. And i feel like I'm too curious but in a bad way like if someone came over and offered me drugs I would probably take it. I'm specially curious about opioids. If I new like a dealer or something I would very much likely have tried it by now. I don't really know how to fight this feeling. I do think about it at least once a day. I think about trying it and I watch videos on YouTube specially this dutch channel called drugslab. This might be really weird but I find myself almost like daydreaming about it. I was wondering if everyone feels like this...,1.2124204282407405,3.426689996093753,2.81168402777778,91.79176504629628,82.6328125,6.292592592592592,20.02835648148148,7.526774132740827,0.5924130787037036,973,27,211,16,27,319,132,256,0.107,0.728,0.165,0.9293,1,0,5,0,1,0,19.0,1,0,0,0,20,20,1,2,9,1,24,4,1,3,2,53,45,23,0,9,10,0,8,9,1,4,3,0,0,0,19,13,0,0,15,4,0,2,6,7,0,0,11,9,31,13,24,27,7,23,0,1,1,0,5,6,0,9,22,143,50,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10148198675133703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864326448493275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07745844883771315,0.0,0.0,0.12660896672261016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08286995557288036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07772637356725443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505543498189074,0.10647031387633282,0.0,0.09562921054293397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743248972382091,0.0,0.0,0.12007087063529688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09725937687347128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526352735329516,0.0,0.0,0.21591000270901806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06148515559634581,0.0,0.0,0.08895161238970775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3294841818038421,0.33251805188366196,0.0,0.0,0.08508269606595853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192120665899858,0.0,0.048635752895667836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08339047535699205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051159903165112285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519096913159313,0.0,0.40931223606126543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987539213316687,0.0,0.0,0.0743036568794552,0.0,0.13686391925260155,0.0,0.07179685021609733,0.17981406312374082,0.09900241366328047,0.08735878472191408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991379546465214,0.0,0.07079924175896411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06453697782008483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036690926445492,0.08907468620353486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17890777077455913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700512086594287,0.0,0.09315736264708928,0.0,0.07887496850485542,0.07166533317614049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699921956071819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385935963774001,0.0,0.07390316817918444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12640418086727542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0768091097916141,0.05490697295408127,0.14778123086434558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629548690892896,0.08399936675006295,0.0,0.0,0.08973556731002984,0.1009522794348536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983856810612655,0.0,0.0,0.0599469942582947
addiction,usrenmae1712,2020/02/24,"snorting fentanyl Im working on getting off fentanyl. its not heroin anymore here. but thats not why im quitting.

anyway i would say so  far im doing quite well managing. But somthing nagging me hard is the sniff.

is there anything i can sniff that is like the cut but without the fentanyl in it. would that be an okay thing to do? I have this need to sniff some and i wont call for a bag. i wish i knew what the cut was.",-0.22609090909091026,1.9464315222222242,1.4986868686868708,98.89045454545456,89.33333333333331,3.7171717171717167,22.626262626262626,4.851557810540192,-0.143555555555555,327,13,75,1,11,106,63,90,0.11199999999999999,0.738,0.15,0.5579,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,3,5,6,3,0,6,1,12,0,0,0,0,13,16,5,0,4,6,0,1,1,0,3,0,1,0,0,8,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,3,1,0,2,6,7,3,7,10,1,4,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,1,52,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19054162921656373,0.0,0.0,0.15810686514945613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196186516281156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10038015111003412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17211100926985035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6226010764967201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09386515899837028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424621819053275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4087084446010896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527897249574951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12764283314256294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17274821232337847,0.0,0.17336771049080546,0.0,0.2209403614203856,0.18520675162258626,0.0,0.1398731456098025,0.0,0.0,0.27296770321366715,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ForeignFishy,2020/02/24,Need advice I’m in high school (16) and I’m trying to stop smoking weed every day but I’m not sure how to stop,-3.2507692307692277,-2.0419276153846155,0.05338461538461559,103.9416153846154,113.6153846153846,2.08,9.046153846153846,3.1291,-2.273636923076923,86,1,22,0,5,30,20,26,0.255,0.745,0.0,-0.7044,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,8,4,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,7,0,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3272570128217308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159805563219972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821647701942934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3538365706646863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24832153327280465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3389331672725421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.559976988913307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.315636015852218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273727604429892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,mylifeassarah123,2020/02/25,"So much regret and shame. I used to be a fun, silly, relatively attractive  and bright young girl. That all changed when I turned 17 and decided to get on adderall. I'm now 6 months clean and all i can do is live in the past.. it's so hard to believe that just  1 1/2 years of taking adderall, and suffering from an eating disorder can do so much damage to a person. Now, every waking moment all I can do is remember who I once was.. I hate who I have become. It feels like overnight I've turned into a monster. My bad decisions are written all over my face and I feel like I'm living in another person's life. I have dreams about my past and remember what it was like to be loved, and thought about and cared for by friends and family. I simply can't accept this new life I've made for myself. It's like the second I got off of the adderall, reality hit me. And it wasn't pretty. All I want to do is start taking it again. There's no point in staying sober if the damage is already done, right?. I turned to religion, but it dosent seem to be helping. I don't feel worthy of being a Christian because of how disgusting and damaged I am now. Sometimes, i think to myself, ""things will get better in time"" but then I just remember how badly I've treated my body the past 2 years, and all the hope is gone. How do people get over this feeling of shame and regret after addiction? Especially if they know there's no hope of them looking any better? If I would have known this 2 years ago, i would have never taken that adderall my ex offered me, or the plenty of times after that. How do I live this life that I've made for myself and forget about the life I used to have? It's gotten to the point where I've contemplated suicide.. I can't go on feeling this way any more. Can even the worst of damage be undone? I'm 19, and this is not how I want to live the rest of my life. I have a long way to go..",2.90546499477534,3.8888665858585902,4.396123301985373,87.86590909090911,73.79797979797979,7.17924068268896,23.756182514803204,7.503015589744147,0.8982458376872171,1472,40,321,17,29,492,181,396,0.161,0.728,0.11199999999999999,-0.9724,0,0,0,0,1,2,49.0,0,0,2,2,22,31,2,2,17,0,39,11,3,9,7,67,80,32,1,11,9,1,6,4,1,3,6,0,1,3,23,17,1,0,16,1,0,3,8,14,0,1,12,8,37,17,42,59,11,44,1,7,2,1,12,14,0,7,28,216,60,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040187690848643,0.0,0.0,0.07350913668453803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151120329601917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11278541730971052,0.08695542671591831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13847994665274707,0.05055108574589466,0.09158555228937464,0.0,0.09342951123912867,0.0,0.1466830973867386,0.0,0.09211239385415218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454886109801947,0.0,0.08772500019422959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09504069216090644,0.0,0.0,0.08486236769056316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485427887037987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05477202059060751,0.0,0.06986896078020792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817550903650201,0.0,0.2096500740127084,0.11848509063936108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06406863207583922,0.0,0.12997666346637027,0.0,0.09425782288176182,0.0,0.0663237152149398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428565137412077,0.08187252536707695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05558373214217141,0.0,0.0,0.16472899865441645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04557411040754613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928663918393481,0.16205435101706356,0.0,0.2929016699881996,0.0733871412238125,0.06963718300400154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07484419818005303,0.15693368736809898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06619095918496512,0.0,0.12192070314709033,0.0,0.06395785324499625,0.08009071028909996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831377330909282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374875299157913,0.0574906356458395,0.1448160442716715,0.0,0.0,0.15678426244823254,0.0,0.0,0.08436583120453446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2818179021551965,0.0708185832265075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07549296357843567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201620347356263,0.0,0.05869564217389892,0.08838837231029427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09070788214059934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12470047255458958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05509253035851276,0.053135806711476906,0.0,0.06583419705067788,0.09670995221179736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27059991332531796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14324334732631047,0.0,0.0,0.09782412759764092,0.1316460297010018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781688878212328,0.0,0.0,0.16020540106051978
addiction,the-socially-awkward,2020/02/25,"I need a buddy or something I'm sorry if this isn't the right sub, or layout. I'm currently on my phone.

I've been off and on coke and booze for a long time now and in just had something happen to me which was very confrontational. This amazing guy I've been dating, just showed up at my apartment with a fruitbasket... He wanted to drop by, but I was high on coke and I was drinking. so I told him I was sick...

I didn't answer the door and later texted him that I was at my parents house.

I don't want to live like this anymore. This guy is amazing and I just feel inadequate and ashamed for who I am... 

Is there someone out there who can help me kick this bad habit? I know I can do it, I just don't have to buy it and I think I'll be fine. I deleted all my plug contacts just now.",0.4676096491228066,2.0962367660818733,2.3792945906432728,97.03981907894736,81.92397660818712,5.2106725146198825,20.04422514619883,5.985473137389443,-0.25202660818713474,601,16,148,4,16,200,98,171,0.115,0.7829999999999999,0.102,-0.0617,3,0,3,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,0,10,7,1,1,5,0,20,5,0,0,1,27,30,13,0,4,9,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,11,10,4,0,4,2,1,0,4,3,0,0,10,1,23,4,17,19,1,20,0,0,0,0,12,12,0,3,8,99,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059414785966564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17338621241128713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034263191205052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10499840054376113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4112292180996766,0.1836317668533736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13918914645427385,0.21940265560623395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396100818729832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11412370640773192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145147657399273,0.0,0.18336630102676046,0.1837712790054236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15397618098637816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305802411389199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773392640707529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17594841255887406,0.319731388724891,0.0,0.2324567415338061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13305921170267102,0.0,0.0,0.12108736840091415,0.0,0.0,0.19842664017745887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17134004861203642,0.2449647819279681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,_AnalBiscuit,2020/02/25,"I'm hopeless I'm fcking 16 years old turning 17 this year, i've already managed to kick a meth habit and an opiate addiction. I was doing really well for a while too for fuck's sake. 

But now i fucked up big time, bought a couple benzos to help with the opiate paws, and they worked wonders but i ended up taking a little too many and blacked out at school, got drug tested and now i'm getting kicked out of there as soon as the results come back so there goes my future down the toilet.

Ended up buying more benzos to ""help"" with the stress though this is just a shitty excuse for me being a piece of shit and now i'm back to abusing benzos and iv'ing stims, been taking several milligrams of clonazepam daily for weeks and i'm already feeling the withdrawal, 

I'm being charged with illegal threats from like 6 months ago from when i was constantly high doing stupid shit and it's all piling up on me just as i was REALLY trying to make some changes for the better. honestly i can't take it anymore.

I'm not a good person by no means but i'vd really been trying to be good to others and do things right but no matter what i do everything always seems to take a turn for the worse, and i just can't seem face reality.

I'm so fucking lost ans hopeless i can't take it anymore i don't know what to do.

I'm sorry mom and dad and anyone who took the time to read this i just had to get it off my chest somewhere. I want to fucking die. 

What am i gonna do now? I know it's all my fault and i'm the only one who can turn my life around but i can't, i'm weak.

Ps: i know some people have it a lot worse and i deserve this, it's my fault after all, i'm not looking for pity or anything like that i just had to get this off my chest.",1.7483365300784683,3.2055551135135154,3.416190061028772,91.82859197907585,77.5945945945946,5.963382737576287,20.854402789886663,6.532088108194933,0.1836399302528333,1352,33,302,11,31,450,185,370,0.213,0.711,0.076,-0.9962,0,0,2,0,0,4,25.0,0,0,1,3,22,23,8,1,20,0,25,13,5,2,3,52,69,28,1,1,13,2,1,2,0,1,4,0,0,1,20,21,0,0,8,1,2,2,9,16,1,1,11,3,27,7,45,54,8,40,0,4,2,4,9,16,6,7,24,192,47,5,0.0,0.10598919306427186,0.0,0.09751882821040993,0.0,0.0,0.0792961951386439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19743097419506447,0.0,0.07443347738312046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17743005259485595,0.06254880693554929,0.0,0.07361359697200796,0.07963364947828587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13757028687573114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911541366507499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946312124952814,0.07705730413836596,0.0,0.09666875252591556,0.0,0.0,0.09897992531317187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09283985666741557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10373905328973307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584606272278517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039611727757906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045230984689933564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3307977188578476,0.14020916765666566,0.0,0.0,0.15006071826873646,0.0715450963133123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11991920104829175,0.0945138031176037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14748589284848804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06318450087777533,0.08740609685338821,0.08965711109687227,0.0,0.0,0.07511941918306132,0.0,0.09765037340179328,0.07605118794608852,0.0,0.0,0.05971170761237107,0.09069302644636797,0.0,0.0974423940437502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10476826477695264,0.0714018889715654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09386766090558364,0.0,0.06061682057221894,0.06803433117088377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062016626346477886,0.07810839457313594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947890881401964,0.0,0.17192091643241078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763938259684749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09053293327325347,0.0,0.16287240039833953,0.0,0.10105834997631843,0.18364793036413035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001372141188504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247005787585084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33629401226697275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059429728534809365,0.0,0.08788878964587185,0.0,0.10432351117583807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993874643890491,0.12146774017420402,0.2919030817030115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05276270040103576,0.0,0.0717551653992108,0.0,0.08043051936794272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970098074624764,0.06512408780222029,0.0,0.1823239655026404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521178924353392
addiction,Husky_02,2020/02/25,"I need some help/advice! I’m addicted. I did some coke last summer when I went to my native country with some friends. I liked it. But not the coke, the part where I am with my old mates, having fun, without a care in the world. Like the old days... but ever since I got back home, the country I moved to some time ago, I didn’t do any coke. My mj dealer told me he has some powder but I refused. All the times. Until about a month ago... I bout a bit, just for the fun, but I did it alone (I don’t rly have with who to do it) and i was ok;I was able to control myself (sometimes instead of making now a line and leave some for later I said I’ll do It all now and I won’t have what to do later) I don’t think I controlled myself and I said I should stop, but I didn’t! And now I want to stop! I don’t want to stop completely cause if I start I’ll go in relapse of something. I want to be able to control myself and I need help. I know I won’t stop cause I’m too stubborn but at least I want to know how to control myself so I don’t fuck my life up. Does any of you managed stop, but not completely, just so that you can do it from time to time so you don’t go downhill ? Sorry for long post, I just want to get out what I have on my chest.",-0.8014831294030422,0.8708421182795689,1.5269435174885686,101.25064516129036,86.59856630824373,4.278383388950688,16.43072549746632,4.966512066861506,-1.046599901124706,937,19,245,3,29,316,125,279,0.126,0.7859999999999999,0.087,-0.924,0,1,1,0,0,0,38.0,0,3,0,4,17,8,2,0,11,0,27,7,1,8,3,59,51,20,0,9,14,0,0,2,2,3,2,2,1,0,9,10,3,11,3,0,0,4,12,2,0,0,11,2,44,6,32,36,11,41,0,0,0,1,12,8,1,7,30,165,53,1,0.190066656178684,0.0,0.0,0.10360035506345776,0.0,0.09286546833449838,0.16848262273659673,0.0,0.0,0.09842586734838364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12925184386486313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07307476324344353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10375178085738057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09689281162638684,0.19525081216555093,0.0,0.0,0.19928127283388966,0.0,0.42635183320041664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06128863470654989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08316430582927993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596308601752177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07342251354146262,0.08785678047194931,0.0496509915707124,0.0,0.10801926079415658,0.0,0.0760068339327852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12739767320340914,0.0,0.09532617661755828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445566356332532,0.07746484632215013,0.0,0.10062657271728212,0.0,0.0,0.06712485009890752,0.09285696757126703,0.0,0.0,0.08410150483463437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06343548444552227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07585469581007663,0.10100538803212092,0.0,0.1409320172306385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19944298300657026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10291183339054093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101565867135672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807969148522424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861255104281899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316129887150967,0.09399039147626637,0.10638203030285147,0.06726507875549156,0.0,0.0,0.3972605879671721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06089351936204656,0.0,0.0,0.2216587913867017,0.0,0.0,0.09080841755317112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28026559567861176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08809684723699228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160873700590436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,FloridaTraffic,2020/02/25,"Moved to the islands for work but having a really tough time. It's killing me to be handed such a great opportunity and feeling like I'm totally fucking it up.

I had a strong start here. But it's going sour. I'm on my 2nd day of a binge and totally fucked-off from work duties again...

If I could stay away from drinking I would be O.K. but seems there is nothing else to do here but that...

It's so hard being in an environment where instead of having to 'look' for coke...you have every MF at the bar trying to shove it down your throat. 

I need to get off this island.  

I hate to run away. I worked so hard to get here. But on an island so small it's like I can't escape. 

I'm torn between taking this on as a challenge to fight the good fight. Or a red flag that I do not belong here and I need to eject. 

My last resort plan right now is to join a gym and stay away from the night life... My quarterly assessment is a month away... If I can't turn things around I.Am.Fucked. and have to find a new path back home. 

\- Thanks for listening",0.3942450592885365,2.380350345454545,2.139525691699608,96.75994071146248,84.18181818181819,5.280632411067193,16.83794466403162,6.498293943080001,-0.4528774703557312,796,16,190,8,23,261,128,220,0.113,0.732,0.155,0.8623,0,0,1,0,2,0,35.0,0,1,0,7,15,14,5,0,15,0,17,6,2,0,2,25,35,17,1,6,9,0,4,2,0,1,1,1,1,0,11,6,2,1,3,3,0,3,3,6,0,1,1,8,15,8,35,29,2,31,0,0,2,1,4,16,1,4,12,124,26,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555651154437,0.0,0.0,0.487835010007336,0.0998142277018993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10364100941489984,0.0,0.0,0.08371532754417754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12716227923740253,0.0,0.0,0.10843780601987964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093687161497373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06563475162482325,0.0927347573329229,0.0,0.0,0.11864202752619295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400105399443697,0.13563849291591995,0.0,0.07377279524792829,0.10887666982853787,0.0,0.14311361806627546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325646818962285,0.12815838231088342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13020786214740335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14361315858936388,0.0,0.0,0.1058107268022586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09168712664737044,0.1268351219146498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10900590500251736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036113911805882,0.1379652064909205,0.0,0.19250175893808436,0.0,0.1253692349510476,0.0,0.12181587820862305,0.0,0.12455413751971182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08315823563947748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11085519865382767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11817219567478185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187866767244332,0.2767158032463612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759935194588154,0.0,0.0,0.11950963237041187,0.0,0.0,0.0862385707110418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07569200396138517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813101252841814,0.14119367064735167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28350499267219403,0.0,0.0,0.09221177560799884,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,jagstang77,2020/02/25,"My first post but hope this is an ok spot to talk about potential relapse I’m 23(F) and I’ve struggled with opioids/pain killers for a long time. I haven’t used since 2016, but I’ve had multiple instances of using again. I also suffer from DID (dissociative identity disorder) and sometimes I don’t remember doing these things or thinking these things because of separate alters formed by trauma. But anyways, I’ve been dog-sitting at my moms house for the week and I was looking for scissors in this junk drawer and found pain pills that were my sisters (23F as well) from the summer when she had her wisdom teeth out. I took them out of the drawer and hid them in my mom’s closet where my suitcase was because I got triggered seeing them in the open in the drawer. It wasn’t like I was going to use them, but it was just the possibility of it being an open option, but I really just wanted them gone and out of the house since idk why they’re there. 
My sister’s boyfriend happened to have abused pain pills as well and I guess he knew where these pills were too because yesterday, he confronted me asking where they were and I told him the truth right away. It was sorta amnesiac (my disorder makes me become mentally absent sometimes) like I remembered doing it, but not, but I was going to put them back or was even thinking about dispensing them at my pharmacy down the road because I was going to get rid of old prescriptions of mine anyways since it was conveniently close to do so. I just wanted them gone. He threw them in the trash when I handed them over. But he told me I should tell my sister what I did.

I want to tell her. I’m just afraid she’ll tell my mom because she’s never been supportive of me in my recovery and would only say some emotionally abusive things towards me like she has in the past. I’m very vulnerable and I just wish I never did what I did. It was very stupid. 

What should I do? I sound like a mess and am very scattered brain, it sounds like I have a million options of what I wanted to do but really, I took them because I just wanted them gone and I didn’t feel comfortable with them being in the house. I’m really in a rut and I’m super scared.",4.248694211224041,5.342612440639272,5.007080571512741,84.32964869642069,70.7123287671233,8.026042126970099,26.22948887906908,8.360895534625662,1.5998856090735014,1731,53,349,26,31,560,198,438,0.134,0.763,0.10300000000000001,-0.9482,0,0,1,0,1,0,37.0,0,0,14,2,24,24,2,3,18,1,41,8,3,5,3,69,81,30,0,10,18,6,2,5,0,4,5,3,1,0,21,21,0,0,7,0,0,10,7,10,2,2,34,7,66,14,47,41,2,51,0,1,2,0,39,26,0,8,19,245,87,1,0.0,0.18370752424072775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06199625154757773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07247486870407542,0.0,0.07283674557452255,0.059611494531574286,0.0,0.28354900529378263,0.08561963232426015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865428928167819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17769940597069614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720453923949945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05120414898855923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0391986766580967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594223298717321,0.0,0.08500152629413654,0.0,0.0,0.040503310324037534,0.0,0.13217674519212294,0.0,0.06200336154702527,0.0,0.08540189002589935,0.0,0.06855458955339384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07699924248625714,0.0,0.2683583199758722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189372581206748,0.0,0.0,0.0686066731252365,0.06510098870246755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05174815307350727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07812638253377485,0.0,0.0,0.2723869950991108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958322556779245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134883893670196,0.0,0.0,0.05896081563333438,0.2474743497962989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400583201427721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08739713653575568,0.0742469656877337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779334555976922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14899238785525615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17564011325486184,0.0662054320360532,0.0,0.06165053126383625,0.07761546976909993,0.0,0.06177692649876439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19238700675595705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15334726953113156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08104535729368699,0.0,0.0,0.08797379436217087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06231119311002462,0.20327928321461727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15451134186116325,0.09934903748825058,0.0,0.0,0.045205113380265664,0.0,0.0,0.14815581320073498,0.17226496867849456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20086862650930146,0.0,0.1918972992734276,0.2286295607763462,0.0,0.0621854144081435,0.0,0.13940752976127185,0.0,0.06995373189346657,0.0,0.0891492583220504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05507112446754305,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,MisterB0wTie,2020/02/25,"Life after addiction can be good Here are some of the girls who have found freedom with Betel.org  
[https://www.lincolnshirelive.co.uk/news/local-news/heroin-took-everything-me-took-3869155?fbclid=IwAR0zsLoIsS9ezYC9GvxA5WzR\_8Ey3H2Y07JVHQFvdchH7txk9PZtcLkrJKE#comments-section](https://www.lincolnshirelive.co.uk/news/local-news/heroin-took-everything-me-took-3869155?fbclid=IwAR0zsLoIsS9ezYC9GvxA5WzR_8Ey3H2Y07JVHQFvdchH7txk9PZtcLkrJKE#comments-section)",29.66105691056911,39.38491514634147,12.977439024390245,14.19184959349596,31.682926829268297,11.513821138211384,36.101626016260155,10.125756701596842,6.397045528455285,415,12,24,9,6,90,31,41,0.0,0.695,0.305,0.8156,0,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,11,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256329785221944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269370804275797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17360056228885518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461923547597427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.919826049159842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,babybabycarrots,2020/02/25,"I'm 15 and I'm only staying alive to not be sober This year not being sober has been a regular occurrence, whether or be alcoholic or valium or nangs. I find a reason to keep living each day and it's because ""oh I'm gonna get fucked up on Saturday"" or ""hey, you could always take 6 vallis and call it a day"". I'm only having fun when I'm drunk and/or high and it's not something I wanna rely on forever. I tend to get addicted to shit pretty easily (smoking for example) and I feel myself getting drunk or high as a coping mechanism and I don't know how/if I should stop. Idk.",0.92670731707317,2.824282097560978,3.853028455284555,85.69466463414636,81.6829268292683,7.3520325203252055,21.6321138211382,8.344100000000001,1.3626211382113826,450,14,95,10,12,161,81,123,0.13699999999999998,0.767,0.096,-0.5994,0,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,4,0,9,6,1,1,0,25,24,14,0,3,9,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,7,3,2,4,2,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,1,8,1,10,17,1,12,0,0,0,1,3,5,2,5,6,52,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123912170902651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20821182161160107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16211245708932848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11876530658399445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989411143114258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15555426031629338,0.0,0.0,0.25129581285993585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09851086261781644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17806921158381794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18011529519025138,0.3053686791801851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41169284012858337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17317202879384133,0.0,0.0,0.10707234305614484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17203664432636626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963508620125866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198210061374078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20031557540055175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19998808518282715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14998807003804834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20766066605690772,0.0,0.16288488534360807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14648636755855998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12546280851418784
addiction,UsernameLeftAtHome,2020/02/25,"Cravings after quitting I've been battling Xanax^1 addiction for a good while now. It started as prescribed medication for legit mental health issues and it turned into recreational *""Imma fuck myself up""* hobby of sorts. My favourite part of the day, the one thing I looked forward to, was that time when I will be able to turn off life and take my pills. 

I use (and have in the past) other prescription drugs as medication for issues that I still have but I never abused anything except Xanax.

For me personally physical dependency is easier to conquer when compared to psychological addiction. I was dependant on many drugs (meds) but I always knew I need to suck it up, stick with not taking more and it will be ok. 

When it comes to Xanax I miss being able to ""escape"" reality. It doesn't necessarily make me numb, it numbs part of me that are hurting and I feel like a normal person.

I had periods of using it as a medication, periods of serious abuse, periods of no use at all and, worst of them all - periods when I would stop using only to lower my tolerance so that in the future I can use it again and get that same feeling without needing to further up my dose.

Through all of this I was functional member of society. I limited my use to night time or weekends when I knew I don't need to *""participate in life""* and can just lose myself in haze of feeling like *""life makes sense, I'm not worthless, I'm going to achieve so much""*, while I did zero productive things and went to sleep at 4pm.

I've decided I don't want to lead that life anymore. As good as it does make me feel, I don't want artificial happiness being only form of good feeling I have. 

I've been lowering my dose for quite a while. On Monday I finally didn't take even smallest part of the pill. It's been two days and ""high"" of *""wow I actually did it""* is wearing off. Thoughts about taking it just one more time are creeping in. We all know it's never just one more time. 

Physical dependency is gone, I don't have any withdrawal symptoms. I'm still very much mentally addicted. 

Since going through withdrawals is a motherfucker when you actually don't want to quit, I'm proud of managing to do that. 

People around me aren't aware of how serious this issue is because even when I'd take it in front of someone it didn't make me anything else but more cheerful and talkative (because I always knew my limit and had excuses if it turns ugly). Those aren't stereotypical addiction signs. They aren't negative behaviour and if it's not negative how can it be a problem? Yeah... 

I fucking beat physical dependency. I can finally feel other things beside being irritated at everything and anything. I can finally stop looking at the clock to see is it time to take my next dose that is keeping me from being that frustrated mess in front of others. 

But I miss it so fucking much. 

I'd like to escape from reality I live in now. And I can't even have a drink because other meds I take aren't something you want to mix with alcohol. 

I don't see it as a success anymore and I know I need that feeling in order to not relapse. That would send me down a spiral of self hatred and I would need to use more to not feel like that. Fucking never ending cyclic. 

I want to feel proud when I get the urge and not act on it. 

I don't know am I entitled to that feeling. 


---

^1 I use generic version called Helex but for sake of this post I'll use word ""Xanax"" because it's less confusing for others and in the end it *is* same shit different name lol",3.4141854636591447,5.191683230880233,4.987076782866257,80.96226930963775,73.83405483405484,8.326361357940304,28.17521075415812,8.99025400887824,2.381393073593073,2761,111,536,60,57,930,280,693,0.139,0.753,0.10800000000000001,-0.9568,3,0,5,0,2,1,87.0,1,2,2,13,26,35,8,1,17,3,59,34,3,20,7,116,133,49,0,17,19,0,10,4,0,5,26,0,0,3,50,25,2,5,18,2,0,11,28,21,0,5,18,14,64,14,92,103,21,86,0,5,4,4,12,28,6,9,51,373,114,4,0.09981842967583936,0.1182685167354586,0.09740838838203132,0.21763364420052367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053337772300282964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08305692977797971,0.0,0.0,0.033939977549687486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09899306022625856,0.0,0.0,0.12321309381271266,0.04442978257376262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12169677649844715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05096288853426067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042992369318970367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06437462936826331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052144506870739835,0.0,0.0,0.04367589023692715,0.0,0.0,0.048892029904628466,0.11575768816993885,0.0,0.04169274478651247,0.0,0.08840950101320218,0.0,0.0,0.09889369708629103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04485518413157179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523559862616748,0.10696545915762742,0.0,0.1640193159353782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845610595651328,0.05215100965187258,0.0,0.056729113901394075,0.12558444443816266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05312928725304436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0530511615126058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052731825682302384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053428846730926696,0.0,0.0,0.15627676040906835,0.0,0.04436160333784482,0.0,0.0,0.08228639770857613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410094177234334,0.09753248543195782,0.0,0.04407075108108665,0.0,0.08382234101378996,0.05583564512089527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13325915382286405,0.05060011028462748,0.0,0.0,0.11087577291567928,0.150834849700497,0.10059349956802822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006704660119446,0.1850352520247625,0.11547918986550505,0.0,0.05307901618782503,0.046836417182453086,0.048900433811486406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145932690442007,0.07591641375918498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16214044815595804,0.04764399290816662,0.034600765412410465,0.08715760261662668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0477992316334858,0.0,0.0,0.04775637821319555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15925378028044204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07954236491598769,0.0,0.05206619587125357,0.0,0.051231091816435516,0.0412854182615225,0.0,0.04994525867599029,0.0,0.04228791577064552,0.038422551925853636,0.0,0.0,0.03532599914359855,0.0,0.07971512687984739,0.08345267678241179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05187478411365235,0.2626786279578414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09947239393841803,0.0,0.0,0.039622341667912286,0.14551232265632413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628606818555069,0.04875405080409325,0.0,0.0,0.38794983407670014,0.0,0.041180329157102534,0.14718874007286406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04626634217377835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04811070208926976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063622227665867,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,WearyPast3,2020/02/25,"Music for recovery and sobriety lifestyle Music has the ability to help me through difficult times in life, keep me focused on what’s really important. Today as I live my lifestyle of sobriety, I have good days and not so good ones, but my favorite [chill guitar music](https://open.spotify.com/user/ergtn8sdg2odviqaysdl5rqcr/playlist/4847ww3DmY42ZcLNFD3tQo?si=6G5yC7w4T8eNdIAeoHBvRw) brings me back to the center, calmness and balance when I need it most.",22.473636363636366,17.512653939393942,16.589090909090913,34.90363636363637,39.90909090909091,19.26060606060607,57.24242424242424,15.903189008614273,8.538660606060606,384,16,44,10,2,108,53,66,0.025,0.7140000000000001,0.261,0.9266,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,8,5,7,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,8,3,8,5,1,9,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,5,32,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563550557985935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150078997543233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5592606467370136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22346317779962974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29633087621648274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23548204508376014,0.0,0.0,0.2943880135242057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472032308925082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259125683754874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21357710847734374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19440142298129534,0.0,0.3160131656901932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,troydansfather,2020/02/25,"Video game addiction I know this one is a little less serious then a lot of people on here but it’s really affecting my life. 

I’ve been playing video games since i was in junior high. I’m 26 years old now. This past year or so I’ve gotten even more into playing video games and it’s gotten to a very toxic point. I’ve been dumping a lot of money into the game. I’ve spent countless hours on the game and i just can’t seem to put it down. Again i know this is stupid but I’ve noticed it’s really starting to affect my life. Whenever i have a day off i might spend 9-12 hours playing. Is there anyone out there that has a similar story to mine and has any advice?",0.4639393939393912,2.476911524475525,2.7335944055944057,92.44398135198135,84.10489510489509,5.771375291375293,17.924941724941725,7.0316486544052195,0.1019803263403265,520,12,116,7,15,177,87,143,0.057999999999999996,0.882,0.06,-0.4242,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,8,6,2,0,8,0,11,3,0,2,0,18,19,8,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,3,11,3,1,1,3,0,1,6,0,9,3,14,12,4,23,0,0,0,0,5,11,0,5,11,70,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013446478155958,0.0,0.18048166924318915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12559883103946315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12914293306058713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911289843099815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12198920612155095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19514024882832912,0.0,0.0,0.36377444540403175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20300691807107935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609108683953986,0.0,0.18511276016374945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3140419123971447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959320481146564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21027631017640105,0.1938061754139392,0.0,0.12515400988495204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17631213239778054,0.12804415331469354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17459633132187724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18566933669370844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23664049979853435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16813925422856826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15278148799689698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13072796501534245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523925935537345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378748550935493
addiction,anxietyridden193,2020/02/25,"I feel crushed and could really use some kindness So, I'm addicted to Ativan. I didn't even know; I've been using it for a couple years, got cut off last week, thought I'd just have a shitty time for a fe days but get over it. Nope , not the case. Had the worse 24 of my life going through what I guess was withdrawel. Like a panic attack on steroids. horrible.

​

While I was at the hospital, I left desperate texts for my sister. About how much I loved her, how much guilt and shame I felt, how much I was suffering, etc. I apologized for everything that's ever been bad between us and said I wanted to never fight again. It was all good, she said.

​

So today, my sister got mad about something (I don't really know what, guess she was having a bad day) but she totally threw everything I said over text back in my face. She called me a junkie, said she was tired of my junkie ass, and said I may as well be on crack and on the street. I didn't know what to say, so I just asked her to leave my room and not come back. she continued taunting me through the door for a while.

​

I feel crushed. I am overcome with such shame. it feels so unbearable. sorry, just needed to vent.",2.6903086419753097,4.291359296296299,3.425043209876545,92.14719444444448,75.37860082304526,6.999917695473252,22.84958847736625,7.734863291789972,0.8207598353909464,931,26,205,13,20,294,138,243,0.252,0.665,0.08199999999999999,-0.9938,0,0,1,0,1,0,48.0,1,0,0,0,19,16,4,4,12,0,18,6,2,5,4,39,46,18,0,3,7,2,4,1,0,1,3,6,2,0,8,8,0,0,8,0,0,3,7,11,1,0,21,10,34,5,27,22,7,29,0,1,0,2,22,11,1,4,16,137,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09871866753091416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.294349960908723,0.3301038842905189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465700207157771,0.10301975185273833,0.0,0.13926290606071978,0.1512198228710443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246710853204763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800539165268451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07230105612444031,0.10019774148786048,0.0,0.11680138256888345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009931213336039,0.05981093618392546,0.08191247320819631,0.0,0.0,0.1627705688829123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13736247517455633,0.0,0.08694731016425973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047311418251868936,0.0,0.05146467638427391,0.07595350778958718,0.14485072690131373,0.0,0.19951379312902875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429943291424116,0.14930051036088754,0.07381467375015832,0.0,0.09588501092267572,0.09838862239738078,0.0,0.06396190202164485,0.04424075624056477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08172971368983724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19970574346531672,0.06714562389738263,0.06984184694389986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10624715922262763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602411624746145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4306942412741047,0.07201322673969836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06971391106722097,0.0,0.10136926919119306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07189081060108457,0.05280353652939917,0.10408002150088323,0.08583585697260412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10892690267526753,0.1564214468139416,0.0,0.0,0.05341187516819513,0.0,0.07263801715691955,0.0,0.08142010980373032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09228360955352254,0.0,0.0,0.3301038842905189,0.05831465844438888
addiction,andrewjking1,2020/02/25,"Looking for help to get over an issue. Hi guys, I’m addicted to alcohol and cocaine. I struggle with PTSD due to experiences overseas, I tried getting help through therapy but have yet to find one that clicked and when I did it was at too expensive for me to continue through with. I started with alcohol to drown, and when that was not enough I began with cocaine to feel a rush again after feeling down for so long. 

I was about to start this paragraph with saying that I’m proud that I can function throughout my life, but that’s not the case just another lie. Whenever I get on cocaine I become a liar, not myself. I never lie when sober, without exception, but become someone entirely different. That’s the reason why I want to get off. I love the feeling, I feel ok health wise, but I hate who I become. As I’m sober I love myself and I strive to be that way but I can’t figure my way around alcohol which seems to be at the core of my problems because 99% of the time I don’t want coke unless I have a few drinks. Any help would be appreciated. Love y’all!",4.00708527131783,4.943319413953488,5.1479069767441885,83.68387596899228,71.13953488372094,8.337984496124031,30.147286821705432,8.648137234880735,2.2318124031007747,834,34,171,14,15,276,121,215,0.085,0.7120000000000001,0.20199999999999999,0.978,1,0,7,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,1,10,10,2,1,9,1,13,11,0,1,1,35,35,15,1,4,12,0,4,0,0,1,6,1,0,1,11,10,5,0,8,1,1,1,7,4,0,1,5,7,27,6,36,26,2,24,0,0,2,3,11,7,0,1,14,120,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12671482714787666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3726640679465436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904473417995751,0.1218839944775868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10347503465713732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085662722371212,0.38512189650682416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214422926034184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11386741495842495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12010326747161602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370149784237504,0.0,0.0,0.23509045430065434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10623795877874076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429148745967055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11509230522095346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475937507969375,0.0,0.12355385190113452,0.0,0.0,0.2337324152382041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213205967009983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821012029582354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10286555139187878,0.09760929650110783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31472365264077434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08964867318952935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876478913886947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11122253147437086,0.13587412495406154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11951037269644135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09243584629851437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10581724802468576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848671986366377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645454365937178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12151551716476268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13292644721995786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777837638483211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07891688191231984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13711847412167225,0.1845260792002506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10488526662713456,0.0,0.0,0.1120477363984724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08257099967205378,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,athaleakay,2020/02/25,"poem ""You took me in my youth, at my most innocent. 
I wish you had never crossed my path.
I wish I had been stronger.
I wish I had just rejected you then and there.
Maybe I would have grown into reality.
My life and outlook could have been normal,
Untainted by your special chemical compound. 
You introduced me to the beyond. 
You let your truth capture me.
I became a slave to your love,
A slave by choice.
I was more than willing to bow down to your powers.  
These special abilities made me feel beautiful.
You made life worth living.
Living.... 
Living with my eyes closed. 
Sleepwalking hand in hand with you.""",1.7161842105263148,4.494396824561407,2.6115570175438587,89.02944078947371,89.52631578947368,6.007894736842108,22.03728070175439,7.413659706084162,1.2251596491228072,474,17,89,9,16,149,70,114,0.025,0.6709999999999999,0.304,0.9873,1,1,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,11,0,1,3,5,0,0,3,0,12,6,3,2,2,19,20,3,0,6,1,0,3,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,1,0,1,3,1,1,0,0,9,4,28,4,15,7,2,13,0,1,1,1,12,7,0,1,3,67,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14213930081164186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09001531109708527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18204367982619293,0.2514901031678317,0.0,0.0,0.4716007447589558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606754448982687,0.3369050728118476,0.0,0.0,0.17885107793424948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13730465119227858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17442771330809811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19779347249368676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6141634544396963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264645856453485,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,marina-ra,2020/02/25,"Will she listen to us I have a friend that’s recently gotten into uppers, possibly meth and basically she’s convinced that she’s “in control and that it’s pure and it’s safe”, etc. 
Myself and her 2 other closest friends have voiced our concerns and she is so defensive, closed off, has a justification for it all. She is physically and emotionally showing signs of drug abuse. Do we confront her together? How do we approach her without making her feel like she’s being attacked? What if she doesn’t accept the truth?",3.959852607709749,6.381365846938782,5.152585034013609,77.51543083900229,74.20408163265307,7.620861678004537,29.256235827664398,8.515128840125781,2.505009977324263,415,18,72,8,9,137,70,98,0.084,0.715,0.201,0.8868,0,0,2,0,1,0,10.0,4,0,0,1,2,10,3,0,3,0,10,1,0,4,3,24,14,9,0,1,2,0,1,1,2,1,1,2,0,0,8,10,0,3,3,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,3,17,7,7,11,2,8,0,0,0,0,18,6,0,1,2,56,25,0,0.0,0.2937419042137524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820421450414734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27806075256333657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28750579350273564,0.0,0.0,0.27887401474886897,0.0,0.0,0.27649374089039125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12535462520435822,0.17711243603593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3830811603117257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211200528436739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16548697268858856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27948992742618084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447887943321348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982144368506324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389837910349921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,operator139,2020/02/25,"Chat for people with any addiction, or addiction issues We are a chat that is focused on helping people who are sober or not sober. We are very open minded and anyone with any issue is welcome!

https://discord.gg/F5UeQD6",5.630526315789473,8.936671263157898,5.193947368421052,74.74513157894737,73.21052631578947,6.957894736842108,25.28947368421053,8.07648339933343,2.0515578947368422,180,6,26,3,4,55,27,38,0.0,0.8079999999999999,0.192,0.7959,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,0,10,5,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,4,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,2,0,18,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5534016377874386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3452120508566249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774765593219476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701299212678645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5298434162983179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256285430638073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3519330904606674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094277443534303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Veganalmanager19,2020/02/26,Cocaine Anyone have any thoughts on whether or not cocaine can be beat  with out patient treatment?,9.511764705882351,10.474528411764707,6.310588235294119,80.09764705882355,59.0,6.8000000000000025,52.29411764705882,3.1291,4.236811764705882,81,6,12,0,1,22,16,17,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,4,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,9,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5407293653204883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5559874694019771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6312603958336745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,DoxxTheseTits,2020/02/26,"Fiance's Aunt is apparently relapsing while on parole My fiance and I live in the same house as his aunt, as well as her 4 y/o son and a couple other family members. Since I moved in I've suspected that shes using, but I dont have any experience with or being around people that use hard drugs. Recently, we ""found out"" that she is most likely using. If you'd like more details I will tell you but yeah she is definitely smoking something that isnt just weed.

I've been living with her for almost 6 months now, and not once have I seen her cook for her son nor feed him any fruits/veggies. Fast food for every meal as far as I've seen. I dont even want to get into her parenting style. Just..constant yelling. I thought she was just a crappy mom, but now it seems theres a reason.

Normally, I wouldnt care what a grown woman does in her free time. But when its directly affecting her child..I cant just sit back and let her smoke her and her sons life away. Today I brought up to my fiance that we should tell her mother, who also lives with us. He immediately started defending her. We got into a big argument which left me feeling like an outsider to the family. He doesnt want me to say anything to anyone and I'm not sure what to do. 

She has a long history of drug use which my fiance is obviously more knowledgeable about, and he says it's best to just stay out of it. But I disagree. I feel hes not taking this as seriously as it should be because hes been around it for so long. She is on parole for drug use and her sons father JUST got incarcerated for drug possession. This poor kid needs his mom right now more than ever, and he definitely doesnt need her like this. I know this shouldn't be my business but what would yall do if you knew this was happening in ur house?",3.218014014014013,4.2564261027027035,4.64795795795796,86.14682182182186,73.10810810810811,7.96796796796797,23.703703703703702,8.401726058763845,1.2117187187187186,1398,37,306,23,27,467,195,370,0.08,0.83,0.09,0.7814,2,0,6,0,1,0,38.0,4,4,0,1,19,10,0,0,9,1,34,9,0,7,3,70,61,30,0,12,17,11,3,4,0,6,5,3,0,2,23,21,4,0,10,1,2,3,12,1,1,0,12,8,51,10,41,38,6,38,0,0,2,0,56,18,0,6,19,199,74,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08792611451992342,0.0,0.0,0.07021929622673724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11942366119730075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06139675726363821,0.0,0.07225775144281693,0.15633384828822972,0.0,0.0,0.08249764922906414,0.06751823035331063,0.0,0.05352638560263283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921481211652545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952517783979673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971568723075355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684057407682808,0.0,0.20581850541902053,0.0,0.4073133788244613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057995753228827426,0.07942653778126678,0.07398125838830984,0.0,0.0,0.08589218052805095,0.165553415109773,0.0,0.08879580359269403,0.06272940092330652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10617667886162466,0.09627593936049793,0.0,0.0,0.045875579165046775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14045469856134118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07764751757383036,0.0,0.07865790341638425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20263517976119275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048256478989066716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09540265759318332,0.08978869617916213,0.06202074273317775,0.17159243076847666,0.0,0.23260580114320364,0.1554130187892026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2056771995050572,0.0700867795906897,0.09332503799374467,0.0,0.13021568570581374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860323026341801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09351168257646976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09749937950718683,0.0,0.0,0.06087437859570768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902803102985312,0.08669890587512565,0.0,0.0,0.07498677303725433,0.0,0.13965544074963304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07993627474387194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07263493023286217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06759818589760813,0.0,0.0,0.062150308541086476,0.09359067227263472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275714090508332,0.0,0.0660200021453502,0.0,0.15349452962600107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697090194044047,0.0512010189031524,0.0,0.08323085202779308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562111497651372,0.3791856559986268,0.0,0.0,0.10358179053469138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07894911695614366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062375635719818176,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,DrAmalMaher,2020/02/26,"doctor of addiction hello 

welcome to all ,i'm new member here",-0.3049999999999997,-1.163851499999998,3.2799999999999976,76.89000000000003,147.33333333333334,4.533333333333334,19.666666666666668,5.985473137389443,1.4932666666666683,50,2,7,1,4,18,12,12,0.0,0.769,0.231,0.4588,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6123997155115269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5749836583929254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5425498880494662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,b4bygh0st,2020/02/26,"Painkiller Addiction (please help me) Hello, I’m 20 years old and I’m starting to become addicted to painkillers. For some context I grew up in a drug household and was surrounded by it all the time. When I was younger I thought needles, pills and pot was a normal thing for my mother to consume, like medicine. Eventually in 2011 my 4 other siblings plus myself were removed from my mothers home and put into foster care. I was 11 at the time and was coping with separation anxiety/abandonment. Long story short my mom never came back for us and we were all either put into different foster homes or went with the other half of our families. For me I got to be with my grandparents. I struggled with lying, being sneaky and lack of empathy. My grandfather was my moms dad and I had always been told to not act or do certain things bc it was something she would do. As I got older and closer to graduating high school I started drinking, then pot and sneaking boys into my house. Eventually my grandparents found out bc we had cameras and they kicked me out. There’s more to that story but I left in 2017 and never came back. 
Since then I moved and met more people. Got a job and live with my aunt. It’s alright over here but recently I’ve been fighting a slight painkiller addiction. Slight might seem like I’m trying to make it sound less worse but it’s starting to get really bad. 
It started when I got into a car accident with my friend and her boyfriend. It wasn’t a serious crash but it really messed up my back. I never went to the hospital and so I just bought drugstore meds and went on. I hate the hospital anyway so I always try to avoid it. Then a few months later I started smoking pot again to help with my back and other things. Once I started I didn’t need them anymore. But one day at work I had an accident in which I slipped and fell. I had a slight concussion but it wasn’t too serious. I ended up getting workers comp. and got looked at. That’s when they prescribed me painkillers. I wasn’t opposed it was like exciting for me. So I got them and took them non stop. 
Now, I’m still here working and I’m in pain. But my pain isn’t my back it’s now my mental. I’ve been going through relationship issues and struggling with my self image. Now I’m mixing just painkillers, sleeping pills and pot almost everyday. I’m stirring inside my head and it’s like I feel so happy and invincible. The funny thing is this is how my mom started doing drugs. I always told myself growing up that I would never be like her. But here I am 8 years later becoming just like her. I need advice and help because my family had shunned me so it’s not like I have much family support since I’m basically repeating my mothers mistakes. I don’t want to lose myself. I don’t want to forget who I am.",1.6444316436251896,4.1357411953405085,3.1323860727086554,88.38048387096775,83.28315412186379,6.051817716333848,23.37327188940092,7.3871296695380915,1.1473121351766509,2209,81,436,35,63,722,256,558,0.12,0.764,0.11599999999999999,-0.5195,4,1,5,0,2,0,50.0,4,0,5,4,28,27,2,3,15,1,39,12,2,2,7,91,86,51,0,9,16,8,1,7,1,3,9,1,2,2,27,46,1,3,4,1,1,16,13,13,0,2,40,3,77,14,54,40,10,84,0,1,1,0,34,25,0,6,50,298,104,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210222785468233,0.0,0.06281328995810315,0.0,0.0,0.06436674323045002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16045735202851788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06374809966916731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24713525783862345,0.053670788543292505,0.03918425301686725,0.14198355586804887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14703749679637834,0.06553734537386889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041455030077403386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06715851017430735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06296954530478127,0.14908787800000214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05693265436394693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18179128384344095,0.0,0.032501701690100936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047927344365204,0.04966226645108491,0.0,0.06716688530563128,0.0,0.0365315831116245,0.0,0.3084616521668169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06842683904139972,0.0,0.06346280602635647,0.06596942348856012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292558008444458,0.06791493609045726,0.12895537770634738,0.0,0.0,0.07417003842578154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06709121141597822,0.06378759341346725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0698399832442445,0.0,0.0,0.21982639043894175,0.0,0.05676007239277073,0.056885431192384865,0.0539786823160823,0.07191244036953064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04290713813833323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07140015478428273,0.0,0.06477872713376331,0.06819050711309489,0.0,0.22585050347983224,0.05130737063038138,0.06831905163003886,0.04725290871223204,0.09532503116015544,0.19830558865265324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06298036895425256,0.0,0.0,0.0674506366380261,0.06845568571192924,0.04355752661911656,0.0,0.13679607202368158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044563387314189386,0.0,0.0,0.07055970786369954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12923752235863914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08235832698137968,0.0,0.06346835912509999,0.069012244080187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06505439601963751,0.0,0.058517741848715936,0.06705765103551453,0.0,0.0,0.10634551360280814,0.0,0.06432603095211349,0.0,0.0,0.04948558341594462,0.0,0.0,0.31848206660555045,0.0,0.051333778770573636,0.05374063136370078,0.0,0.13439800782575506,0.0,0.0,0.07294373853090162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17081806390935692,0.0,0.0,0.051030829433877316,0.0749639138467755,0.0,0.0,0.12284384205888693,0.0714170107383782,0.08728327015598449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07732045507215733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07582755761584341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787635245630769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09359264181833203,0.0,0.06550641311863709,0.09132477990492513,0.0,0.0,0.08278792139604912
addiction,cletuswayne442,2020/02/26,"Here to help. I have been debating if I wanted to make this post for a while now.

I have been clean from a daily cocktail of drugs (meth, heroin, benzos, alcohol, weed) since June 21 2018. I see a lot of posts from people needing help or advice. If anybody on here needs advice or help in any way dont hesitate to send me a message. I will try to get back to you as soon as possible.",2.4870416666666664,3.5151042875000047,4.212500000000002,88.60916666666668,74.875,7.333333333333335,23.333333333333336,7.793537801064563,0.961958333333333,293,8,65,4,6,99,58,80,0.04,0.802,0.158,0.8133,0,0,3,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,0,6,2,0,1,0,9,12,7,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,7,0,14,9,1,11,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,5,5,43,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3940685623309331,0.0,0.2154852829999831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13711794384912251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15504399757234394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23631339038024265,0.0,0.2338312711514457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10534537335288184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4054527922807303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17142190318958078,0.0,0.0,0.1345921719049082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29901791490693824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397875352748795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273118889462216,0.38621901558752536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16067608633814845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16679361837182785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13689616006761196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11892887888324424,0.16004757830467975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Freator14,2020/02/26,"Cigarettes Last year, my mum and my dad divorced. I'm 15 now. After the divorce I found a pack of cigarettes out on the table. It was the brand my father used and he was out of country. I lighted one up and smoked till I came halfway to the end. It felt like I was smoking air. My mum and dad smoked near me for 14 years.

A week later I tried it again. It felt wonderful. Made me relax, but I figured I would be an addict if I smoked any further so I stopped.

My mum found the pack after a month while moving anyway.

Now I am going through a bad and tiring time and I want to have a smoke so much...

I want to get rid of the urge but I can't. Please help.",-0.7353603976801999,1.2779427464788709,1.5451118475559262,98.86239850869929,89.84507042253522,4.186246893123447,17.50787075393538,5.5289334501034215,-0.6455713338856666,498,13,120,3,17,167,86,142,0.098,0.835,0.066,-0.8109,0,0,6,0,2,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,12,0,8,2,0,2,0,24,21,13,0,4,3,6,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,9,0,1,6,1,0,3,1,1,0,1,9,3,20,2,16,10,1,26,0,0,0,0,10,7,0,2,17,78,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20351430023914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269522606494157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558742495397329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135180056917638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16534757573250325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3584939186950334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40938112348669226,0.0,0.0,0.0975352526495069,0.0,0.10609743692194172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12513107845144633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15217326217394073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09120490352576308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17664594287681454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14901025511142998,0.1984167028496072,0.13723501897400722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12650264618499346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20492416469948596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15607709167252728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10885757532705047,0.21456704465742246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12674691952740236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612359753577723,0.0,0.0,0.22022340193989187,0.0,0.1497475158669439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20245201305599853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13261572932340046,0.0,0.0,0.2404381502268107
addiction,arth365,2020/02/26,"A message to newly addicted folks, read this if you’d like to skip a few years of being in and out of hell and possibly multiple rehabs There is a chance we all have as addicts, to drop it and be clean without the dependency monster to come and make us feel like shit. I myself was not in a place where I could stop so I kept going even though I had multiple chances to take the easy road. There is an opportunity or multiple opportunities that every one of us gets in which we can drop the substance that we are addicted and dependent two and leave it right there with minimum withdrawal’s as though an angel Grace’s you and gives you a chance but leaves you solely responsible for your future of addiction.  

I have been through years of addiction and dependency, over eight years at this point now. Early on in my heroin an opiate addiction when it had just started to get bad I had some times where I had tried to quit and it was very difficult because I felt the withdrawals. But also in that area of time I found hope and I found the want to stop for multiple reasons. At this point I gave it up but there was something different about this time, I gave up heroin I begged for no withdrawals and somehow I had very little. Some minor chills but nothing to the extremes of hell and addiction. I remember this time in this day like it was yesterday. I think God for not having to go through what I went through the week or so before and promised myself and The universe that I would never do it again. I took this opportunity and I threw it right into the trash and here I am over eight years later.

Everyone has a chance to get the monster off your back early on with much more ease, the contradicting part is that it’s also quite difficult at this point because you have just gotten started and you don’t see it being that bad because you aren’t intelligent and seasoned in the addiction world yet, you haven’t learned just how awful of a road you’re going down. 

As all seasoned users and addicts who have gone through withdrawal and dependency know, once you get going it becomes worse and worse. As you go farther down the road of your addiction and dependency even if you stop for a couple months and feel better, if you start again it will be that much worse. The road gets harder no matter what but you will be given a chance to break free early on without much suffering from withdrawal if any at all. 



I speak to everyone who gets this chance. Anyone who finds themselves away from their drugs and addiction for a day and thinks that they can make it without using, just stop then and there and save yourself from years of hell and misery. If you pick it up again after you’ve been given your chance and you’ve already experienced the hell of withdrawal then mark my words and understand that you very well may never get another chance without having to go through a total shit storm.",8.066035714285713,7.058215246428574,7.571071428571429,76.40392857142858,62.60714285714285,10.928571428571427,34.10714285714286,10.041961382958581,3.1110714285714294,2318,79,446,41,28,729,234,560,0.156,0.718,0.126,-0.9868,2,0,2,0,0,0,27.0,5,19,2,6,31,24,6,0,29,1,40,15,2,11,6,105,84,56,0,9,22,0,3,3,0,4,13,1,1,0,38,38,0,5,13,1,1,11,13,11,1,4,24,6,52,14,76,49,12,95,5,1,1,0,34,41,6,17,43,330,90,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6531876442369631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060109358693480136,0.08711979926550162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037041689215544106,0.05711688565501721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03808691809648336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05117666387245267,0.04188431806656713,0.0909608931518232,0.09961381457139147,0.06015819501241311,0.0463502350820851,0.0,0.0,0.0481745764317455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04692136229677199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04349012263099585,0.06027037913741962,0.0,0.07025770747591448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05690989674274356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06316828441066873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07195427255824809,0.0,0.0458935985301475,0.10409746060340233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055083666458542783,0.03891361142980774,0.05230005457970977,0.0,0.04978489070526488,0.0,0.0,0.11944780084523947,0.0,0.0,0.19920947830348595,0.05225289962141995,0.1857404475473489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05410132372156702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02993546637958617,0.0,0.0,0.11535241964721232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983434892895422,0.054593576031473766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271873049719163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04347769414685044,0.0,0.12012587006298113,0.0,0.08402174604856674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052265746402036066,0.0,0.0,0.05800911895168882,0.036910502270366866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058986054435553985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05690989674274356,0.0,0.15447619192332546,0.06140710769853117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587179213485756,0.054485065956155966,0.0,0.0,0.056004566646741895,0.0,0.0,0.06170426045028924,0.09303472073372668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043405797136635775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11182601275791844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04193391775884309,0.0,0.0,0.11566313026489937,0.0,0.0,0.18215852459264895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040954905869740495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06980477034611424,0.10703363651014393,0.0,0.12704833938034624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0605185358675719,0.03698177549690782,0.0,0.0532095931778452,0.05670552985770544,0.13104218967447634,0.047044872293065525,0.0,0.13483116942532392,0.03212800926473645,0.0,0.04369280952673312,0.0,0.048975364258841116,0.050494537464916465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21002980006376204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665297456819703,0.038694156414084524,0.0,0.0,0.17538551875135155
addiction,your-left-toe,2020/02/26,"I need to help my friend My friend (also a crush) gets pretty depressed sometimes. He told me he wanted to quit drugs and asked me to quit together, but he just can't control himself, no matter how hard he tries. How do i encourage him to slowly quit it? What helped some of you quit?",3.956578947368424,4.9202126842105285,4.45872807017544,88.47651315789473,71.28070175438597,7.1035087719298255,24.77631578947368,7.1686216300943375,0.9128631578947362,221,6,46,2,4,70,43,57,0.057999999999999996,0.685,0.256,0.8932,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,5,4,4,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,3,0,10,7,5,0,2,2,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,9,3,5,6,1,0,0,1,0,0,14,0,0,1,0,27,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14026817317503965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16397632405920368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19672721587626454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15107268550675504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20340955630265065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710288648363229,0.0,0.09163982022904163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15712490740962226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351352813031262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13005767170972335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17844594711551978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7462425185688155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17347614429563568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16760324006832214,0.0,0.1190858136371955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034560962102644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,whotfcares666,2020/02/26,"I want to control my gaming-addiction, need advice I have two plans in mind:

PLAN A. 90-day Detox: no gaming for 90 days straight. Plain and simple. It's gonna be hard, but if I endure, my brain will rewire itself to find other ways to find fulfillment in life

PLAN B. Time-Limited Gaming: Only 2 hours of gaming per day allowed. There's nothing inherently wrong with video games, it's just TOO MUCH of it that is dangerous. I know hyper-successful people who play games in moderation. So perhaps I too need to simply limit my time, rather than cut it all together. I can still have it as a hobby

What do you guys think??",2.955454545454547,5.050894426229512,4.307585692995531,83.93346497764533,76.04918032786884,7.059314456035768,21.746646795827125,8.00094639256281,1.1375967213114753,488,13,93,8,11,161,93,122,0.084,0.8390000000000001,0.077,-0.2333,2,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,5,7,4,2,0,2,0,7,3,1,2,1,18,13,5,0,5,4,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,10,2,0,2,4,7,0,0,1,3,0,1,0,1,10,1,13,10,2,10,0,0,0,0,8,4,0,1,5,56,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21152694778805306,0.0,0.1896088971864274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21660739214799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21762691330904413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3754098475521406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3546892130227965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921252988718396,0.0,0.0,0.1738173767732921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19108553158582228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10663664076822957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13705276061511024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959201823910789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14263815692114415,0.28774920155582817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18618195397009066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475724706856396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13451953765152286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15495671676475956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243298855765188,0.0,0.0,0.2262869058880082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18954414142680065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11444695529775853,0.15401606583487978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121469699823775,0.0,0.0
addiction,call-me-zeez,2020/02/26,"Ghb dependency Looking for advice off people who have gone through a ghb dependence and through to the other side. I am 21 years old and have been using g for a bit over 2 years. It started just at parties and moved onto doing it on most weekends with the boys, moving to 4 day g benders at festivals a few times a year then to using it everyday. I went through cycles were I would use it for a couple of weeks daily then have a week or 2 off. but it’s been close to 5 months of daily use of 7.5-12 ml a day of usually 14b (barely fuck with that gbl shit). The drug is not affecting my life severely It’s just so convenient between working 60 hour weeks, training at gym 5-6 days a week and on top of partying flat out on the weekends (using bulk rack and k, vallies). I just want to kick the habit because I find I’m fucked up at the wrong time and the wrong place more often and want my life and mindset to return to normal. Are there any supplements, alternative gear to subside the g addiction that would be easier to get clean off, or methods people have used without going to rehab or cutting off my friend group (90% of them now do not touch it I just can’t seem to kick it). Any advice will help",5.279562211981567,4.815478338709678,6.2113133640552975,82.08161290322583,68.03225806451613,9.182488479262672,30.214285714285715,8.634040054169528,2.1116672811059902,940,31,198,13,14,313,149,248,0.09699999999999999,0.797,0.106,-0.4019,0,0,2,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,2,8,8,4,0,16,0,17,8,1,9,0,41,35,15,0,5,11,0,1,0,1,3,5,0,1,1,12,12,0,0,2,3,0,5,4,6,0,0,5,2,10,2,42,26,4,48,0,0,1,2,6,19,3,8,24,124,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11355993874986277,0.0,0.20358611492370654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14167742440274605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350065283328167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137259218092113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11526137528824335,0.0,0.20154178812636472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12080334386435218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09520887463110438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08048096105001112,0.19260572230748707,0.054424172177657285,0.0,0.059201827214184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0698225018485343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10258580048445502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14715574789597147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747599615274185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08314696030535275,0.22143101095180645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10206381993691307,0.0,0.0,0.10930818200595517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444357857578804,0.0,0.10883477190552444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09483183992619068,0.0,0.11768168510712128,0.10692831377491613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373158343713665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12148394065746328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.539813098078745,0.11472779307099346,0.0,0.12288353204759647,0.0,0.3342333921461462,0.0,0.0,0.09656600665278607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041551070911528,0.0,0.07583650826898851,0.0,0.0,0.1479977975163184,0.2277856052771773,0.0,0.2012448873185063
addiction,Gus_ss,2020/02/26,"I’m still me, everyone else is someone else I’m still in the same dead spot. Everyone else is growing. I’m still stuck on old habits. How did you cope with that? How can I cope with that? Everybody is someone i relate to anymore, I’m still the same person in their past. Everyone is leaving. How can I get through this? 
How?",-0.4463636363636354,1.7183228484848527,1.231818181818184,96.91772727272728,100.8181818181818,4.8242424242424224,21.151515151515152,6.574015621080383,0.5410787878787886,252,10,55,4,11,81,36,66,0.11199999999999999,0.862,0.026000000000000002,-0.7622,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,1,0,8,0,0,0,2,0,7,0,0,4,0,8,13,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,6,0,7,11,2,10,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,6,35,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17335812012377705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43807773044718906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5010967614398768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913276241298322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18509168739377324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834268884783041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16686973868415578,0.0,0.1526316906415396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962209094332917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5583932655373376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Verdoofd,2020/02/26,"Looking for Dutch people who are addicted Hi all,

Recently I started working as a researcher for a series of documentaries about addiction for the Dutch public broadcasting (NPO3). That's why I'm looking for people who are addicted, or who recently stopped using.

We intend to follow a few people for several months, so we can (hopefully) give viewers a deeper understanding of what addiction actually means. Why do you choose to use, again and again, even when you don't intend to? And why is it so hard to stay sober?

In the end the viewer (hopefully) gets a personal insight in the lives of several people, and their relentless drive to numb themselves. The documentaries should present an unprejudiced representation of people who are addicted. We want to show that addicts are also plain people, although their lives sometimes maybe seems to be different.With these documentaries we hope to nuance the general knowledge about addiction, and to fight stigmatization.

The coming two months we are researching. We will try to speak with as many people as we can, to get a better idea of what is happening right now. So right now I'm just curious about your stories. The first contacts will stay private.

If you want to know more about these documentaries, or when you want to contact me, you can send me a PM.",7.218017241379311,8.87146528448276,7.103793103448279,69.95801724137935,64.25862068965517,10.8,34.75862068965517,10.820120047756994,4.227762068965517,1054,47,168,29,16,335,126,232,0.038,0.903,0.059000000000000004,0.4203,1,0,0,0,1,0,31.0,7,6,2,3,16,6,1,0,16,0,16,8,0,4,1,39,39,17,0,8,4,0,1,0,0,3,8,1,0,1,11,13,0,1,8,1,0,4,1,2,0,2,0,6,18,4,33,35,3,25,0,0,4,0,28,4,0,7,15,119,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.07986104848943555,0.6245004106312523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06544497149040264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07237812317564123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07049527762213481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724832385035596,0.0,0.0,0.0540525271624671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961045950571919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551284709170888,0.07850545007784138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07236813592536323,0.0,0.07330982398282722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438476409543145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238394423003114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044975442098836735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14452703499206007,0.0,0.13744483717246542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296981252092762,0.08221620603732115,0.08914441917076507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13064292975412378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3971480105952104,0.07145685956214183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16160821107991172,0.0,0.0,0.13977659951857455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07450127675403465,0.0,0.18490489687578887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809388263973849,0.0,0.05792460746768902,0.17445457894857055,0.0,0.06841934640120569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055561910460415885,0.0,0.0799427991776595,0.08519514085600642,0.0,0.1413616813604617,0.0,0.0,0.144808642910178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221535328756214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059578267120040926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Codywebb1989,2020/02/26,I need help for my wife. Mobile game addiction Sorry i dont frel this is as serious as others by my wife is in a major mobile game addiction. We get into minscual arguments where she brings up a comparable stats in this game and i try to put that shes jist bringing up this game.,0.6595812807881778,3.0325772241379307,3.3069458128078817,86.11120689655175,87.10344827586206,6.762561576354681,20.354679802955662,7.957251820313856,1.206750738916257,221,7,45,5,7,77,41,58,0.096,0.855,0.049,-0.1531,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,0,0,4,8,3,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,4,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,8,0,10,8,1,9,0,0,0,0,10,6,0,0,0,30,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.685237117629283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3683413119460698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642016686647022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21065954437392972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330393781219441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3159446314775168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3518178859890289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21337983056545054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,KravMagaRengar,2020/02/26,"I'm stuck, drugs, no family, mental illness Hi,

So first, drugs i take : 
-High dose caffeine (1000mg/day)
-High dose nicotine
-High dose phenibut since 1 month (5gpd)
-Medium dose Kratom (20gpd)
-Low dose benzo (6 mg valium)
-Risperidone (4mg)


Now why i'm stuck, ilness and where i live.

At the moment, i'm in a AirBnB. I have 2 weeks to find an appartment where i can live. 2 weeks is ok, because i'm in France and can go anywhere at least if the city is big enough. But because of my illness, i can't have a job. And i can't find one in 1 weeks. I get ""paid"" 900€/months to help me live because i can't work. 
But people who sell appartment are recluant to give keys to a guy who can't have a job even if he has enough money to pay every month.

Illness mmh, covered up by drugs, but it look like schizophrenia, or paranoid autism with OCD.
PTSD and social phobia.


My Family.

My family is clearly abusing me emotionaly. I can't rely on them. On top of that, some wan't me in jail or in a psychiatric hospital.

My mother can give me a litle bit of money, she has a lot, but she is abusing me also, making me a child when i'm feeling bad and making me feeling bad when i do things like a real men.
Atm, my family all making me crazy. I did 3 psychotic crisis in 2 week because of them and i was stable for 1 year before.

I have no friends, no girlfriend, nothing. I'm alone.
Not fully alone, i have a therapist, he help me but he can't do much 

I really need to find a appartment and do my stuff.


What i wan't.

I have many buisness idea on the internet. I need to launch some ASAP. I don't wan't to be seen like a dysfunctional men my whole life.

And i wan't to be free of some drugs.

First phenibut, i wan't to quit phenibut. But i'm afraid that even if i slow tapper 50mg/day i will have a rough time coming of (it potentiate valium so i will have to slowly go up on valium while reducing it)
I think i will also slowly reduce caffeine. Like 100mg/week at the same time.

But at the moment, i'm just destroyed because of lack of sleep, instable emotions (family), fear of being lock up in jail, fear of being killed by my father, or whatever.

I need advices, the obvious first step is find an appartment and keep taking drugs. 
But once i'm safe after this ? What should i do ?",1.2223568977350716,3.3118355440860228,3.113671928620452,90.36072065888816,81.73118279569894,6.194005948295585,20.861358956760462,7.378060373470096,0.6606321207961563,1748,51,373,26,47,585,211,465,0.16,0.747,0.09300000000000001,-0.9876,3,2,5,0,0,0,87.0,0,0,2,6,12,16,2,3,21,1,40,15,1,4,3,55,72,30,1,8,16,2,3,4,2,4,14,0,0,4,12,11,0,2,8,0,8,4,11,8,0,4,6,5,49,9,44,58,13,50,0,1,2,0,23,26,0,10,24,222,61,4,0.0,0.16286721938951865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671619943688861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14236675197273865,0.0,0.10992644034433728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11477307430712842,0.20948533202314365,0.0,0.05848402308835944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503517342534853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059204662738859264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865010886956091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3985239122717534,0.0,0.0,0.07731180790107621,0.0,0.1420325739407262,0.0,0.09079080893872744,0.0,0.05790784601829256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32396183434932185,0.1546803334268205,0.06950373423668046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25127127767975765,0.17538467471071092,0.0,0.0,0.05310049612046479,0.0,0.035908499424893464,0.13186383121815132,0.07812149246969682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805333732975644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09213631249321988,0.21785051658556492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07758761217938931,0.0,0.0,0.13640750205880334,0.06109023079621834,0.07603937365788936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048545911469660856,0.13431169292486106,0.0,0.1820690970794656,0.0,0.057715747100187224,0.0,0.0,0.058431643613599815,0.0,0.0,0.1376330855438659,0.06968125998649193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06926350315169519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16457848361350602,0.0,0.05052433316199849,0.15288689408553285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594812548185912,0.0,0.0,0.07319502578784633,0.04657311150979322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047648610188232535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034149322261377,0.0,0.0,0.07310263426391819,0.0,0.07822959334719581,0.04403008898788573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05685402556140675,0.0,0.06877946580190726,0.07006140627295901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07867921181434799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10335255716505592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980062991232456,0.04566104503535984,0.04403929983709719,0.0,0.0,0.08015383309813884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2756546192949533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0620179812802841,0.0767344006450547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05003613476514845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04425975708581676
addiction,laundritimusbinz,2020/02/26,"I’ve had a long battle with addiction to kratom, benzos, and pain killers and I need help. Today is the first day that I’ve been completely sober for a full 24 hours and I feel like shit. I can’t sleep and feel super depressed. Any tips on sleep or just feeling better in general? I’ve struggled with all of these addictions for over 5 years. I don’t even remember who I was before the drugs. I’m in extreme debt because of my stupid addictions.. idk where to even start with quitting, I just need some good advice right now because I feel like I’ve hit my breaking point",4.310804347826089,5.302450460869569,4.586684782608696,87.78176630434784,70.47826086956522,7.836956521739133,27.41847826086957,8.07648339933343,1.5569347826086952,453,15,94,6,8,142,79,115,0.21,0.642,0.14800000000000002,-0.836,1,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,4,6,11,3,1,4,0,6,8,3,0,1,20,15,5,0,2,3,0,4,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,5,0,1,0,2,6,0,1,3,4,9,5,13,11,3,17,0,1,0,0,2,8,1,2,10,50,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4795789790212186,0.0,0.143295282668695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972048725018492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17878122976710314,0.0,0.12478016322772195,0.0,0.0,0.1296914999445813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537496490000542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457091416391332,0.0,0.1263011448469412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700562861357514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19370917663846912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.296583129716854,0.2095198342529365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12473223273861545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12299499385430668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09828995599990344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14441123633331426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14328216563723026,0.0,0.0,0.12977212223528542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21746396812852326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15603570376329132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13862255792843994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15597009497870454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16611496526818895,0.12523008371414832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150524243300242,0.0,0.0,0.2934925648500989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379281606895756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15330036473449055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13899793450055709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443159724568903
addiction,Lashla2,2020/02/26,"Stuck - live at parents 0 I'm 28 years old and current live in my moms basement, trying to fig out my place in life.  (Also dealing with heroin addiction).  I have $22000 student loans, have a felony, can't find a job making over $12, and it just seems like I'll never make enough money or get the motivation to break the cycle.  My friends are all over the us, while I hide in a basement.  Trying to figure out what's keeping me here and now to deal with all this.  Last summer I was kicked out, and lived in a tent for 4 months.. honestly I felt better about myself being homeless scrounging for food in a weird way because I was independent and relying on myself.  So I don't understand why it's so hard to leave or at least do something.  


  ∆∆= I'm starting to realize that I need to let go now tho. Let go of shame, completely forgive self.  And start to love or at least accept self again.  I can always make the goals and plan just can never seem to get started.",2.669897959183672,4.223339204081636,3.9375,88.65125,75.3265306122449,6.53265306122449,23.98469387755102,7.1686216300943375,0.8656489795918363,748,23,157,8,16,245,126,196,0.094,0.789,0.11699999999999999,0.7624,4,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,1,0,0,4,11,9,0,1,9,0,13,4,0,5,4,37,33,15,0,1,5,2,2,1,1,0,2,0,0,2,5,12,1,1,10,0,2,2,4,2,0,0,4,2,15,7,29,26,5,34,0,0,0,1,10,15,0,5,16,99,20,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13544061152898296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993551768178675,0.1033781463539202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07573592718444211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988072975042537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13026392352788554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25617324222700755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283737693458809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11929047619853388,0.0,0.11355367346073555,0.0,0.1502322476740212,0.0,0.0959879927820667,0.0,0.12982118945902424,0.0,0.14121761194648327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11129518981253864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12328964209049993,0.11043076922330773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10127268532471884,0.0,0.13155287485787392,0.0,0.2540888976249699,0.08775482227467872,0.060697690007316424,0.0,0.3291202239740614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11213200784718634,0.0,0.24879473050095735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14550910947785706,0.0991676754540928,0.0,0.0,0.09212284352712413,0.19164404660209114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13036962840054214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13795450269523482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12980500187632776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262079837910692,0.25922011956176844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564649709301143,0.0,0.0,0.2638144452963106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687024476416096,0.0,0.0,0.12933886425503227,0.14944616534330996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861641913760164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210783277778066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08000688419278404
addiction,Jefle,2020/02/26,"Back of head headache due to cocaine? I have done a few lines of coke, and the back of my head hurts, it isn't really bad, its just uncomfortable. 

what do i do lol",1.2247619047619054,2.6626112857142914,2.782857142857144,95.8904761904762,79.0,6.9523809523809526,20.238095238095237,7.793537801064563,0.3033809523809521,125,3,32,2,3,41,29,35,0.14800000000000002,0.7,0.152,0.043,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,1,5,3,2,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,4,4,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,22,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4892897809725469,0.2656497559336447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3255874631650447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6530465351625395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3405961493851103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20382101749873646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,XPIceman01,2020/02/26,"A hard dose of reality, but if you REALLY want help... First off, if you really want to stay sober, you need to drop everyone who you used with or used to gets drugs from. It's hard, but it also eliminates the ease of contacting when you have a ""bad day"". Until you do this you'll continue to find excuses and 'reasons' to use. I don't mean to be brash, but my knowledge, experience and personal journey has given me a wide variety of tools to help others. I'm by no means perfect or have all the answers, but I sure do have the experience to know what the wrong answers are. It starts with removing those people from your life.

To those who have recently relapsed... Answer me this, Would you have used if your hook up wasn't in your life? If not, there's your proof. If so then you have a much deeper problem.

Too often I see here on reddit people not being honest and harsh when it's necessary. It's almost more of a source to make you feel better about continued mistakes and missteps people are making, without giving them a hard dose of reality. Sobriety does not work that way. That's a easy path to a ruined life and death at some point because of it.

Please be honest when dealing with this disease, if you actually have it. It seems like society has made it an ""in thing"" to have an addiction or be an addict. It's not and it never Ed's to be treated as such. Honesty is the only way to freedom from the addiction.",4.900860719874803,5.346461042253523,6.019671361502351,80.00647104851332,68.85915492957747,9.409702660406886,28.805946791862286,9.444778638647367,2.3841007824726144,1112,37,223,22,18,372,156,284,0.14800000000000002,0.716,0.136,-0.1979,0,0,1,0,0,0,38.0,0,15,1,4,11,12,0,0,17,0,24,9,0,8,5,59,45,27,1,12,18,0,4,1,0,2,9,0,0,1,23,9,0,0,11,0,0,2,9,5,0,1,3,5,22,7,37,35,4,26,0,1,1,0,25,8,0,13,13,163,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.10558041741985064,0.3538378682928689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10833930852399684,0.0,0.0,0.08652162147484188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903363418263986,0.06595323398106084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09568760492745662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06977530737181549,0.11154186931084087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468011531641328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12546912272694538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10338271160808768,0.0,0.21166634046859392,0.0,0.0,0.0547054536276891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09888612014910844,0.09202861107406664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056526193065802414,0.103788246532328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29075808407799364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14503850263239731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059459849829866275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22925900064654756,0.05285746276550226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10237449947689252,0.14443886526952793,0.0,0.0,0.2357070227532655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795340450471782,0.08022347754914899,0.0834448399624366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228538411165624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22502147808632766,0.0944696470029516,0.0,0.11876303780415742,0.102277023264887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352575234967254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13862196141275115,0.11124006155029692,0.10682718739004253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08621553266495931,0.09849452325990103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076579313081879,0.1153189672223683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019702902833049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07187838780769955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3737748403637307,0.0,0.0,0.127629653868796,0.17175657597528407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10429385175792914,0.0,0.07876553627413742,0.0,0.0,0.07685695290332162,0.11829167616438545,0.0,0.0
addiction,Jess-Onyx,2020/02/26,"Relapsed after 3 months I relapsed today and it was the worst feeling. I’ve been sober since 11/19/2019. I was addicted to cocaine, but before that I was an alcoholic. Today was really fucking hard. For the past two weeks, my cravings to use again we’re coming on strong and I was doing my best to ignore them until today. Today I caved in and I bought half a gram. I didn’t finish it and I threw the rest away. I felt awful, my heart was racing and I felt like I couldn’t sit still. I was so uncomfortable and just wanted it to be over just as soon as it started. I left work early because I felt sick and I felt like I need to rest. Well the craving came back and was stronger this time. So I went and bought another half a gram. I did half of it and flushed the rest. The weird thing about it, the second time I knew I just needed to feel the thrill of buying it and doing the first little bit. Then I was done. After I flushed it, I immediately wanted it back. But I knew that it would just make me feel worse than I already did. I was so mad at myself until I admitted what I did to a friend. What I didn’t realize was that I needed to have this relapse. It was to remind and reassure myself that I would never touch this shit again. I spent four years on a medication that turned me into someone I didn’t recognize and during that time I got hooked on coke. After 3 months of no coke or that medication, I guess I needed to know for sure that this is definitely something I don’t like to do. It’s hard building a life and a personality for four years that’s not even who you are or someone you think you would ever be. So I’m starting over as an entirely different person and I think I had to relapse to know that the new me isn’t interested in doing drugs ever. I don’t even like to drink anymore. There is so much to discover and learn about myself that I honestly don’t know what to do with myself besides work, eat and sleep. But I want to say I am glad that I got the closure and reassurance that I needed. Being honest about what you are going through is so important and having a support system is necessary. They are right when they say relapse is apart of recovery. Don’t give up on yourself and as my friend says, “take it one hour at a time” if you have to. And honestly, prayer works too.",2.7080842105263163,4.163268766315788,4.190263157894736,87.28434210526315,75.02105263157895,7.021052631578947,23.23684210526316,7.669130373188453,0.9417157894736842,1804,51,384,24,38,600,210,475,0.08900000000000001,0.741,0.17,0.9903,1,0,5,0,0,0,42.0,0,5,3,6,27,25,3,0,21,1,50,15,3,2,4,73,94,41,0,13,11,0,10,4,2,3,7,3,0,2,36,25,5,1,17,1,4,5,12,6,1,9,35,13,64,19,53,52,7,61,0,0,0,1,20,17,2,4,41,294,100,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796005245875434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622919065295315,0.0,0.0,0.08903941508459931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08460669354518162,0.0,0.0,0.08001919742272437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07580750013356215,0.12408567527335684,0.0,0.049185661914487,0.0,0.068658157572228,0.0,0.08467536678707586,0.0,0.08808861785574455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09228371155966644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06950416282398812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430008285961725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08257016965911365,0.0,0.07904192444185994,0.0935705723380746,0.0825622993242049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10658517210430936,0.14597088110337333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239235824809586,0.0,0.30988627194753826,0.0,0.0,0.0686317846377129,0.0,0.0,0.12467617777573868,0.07459324839607359,0.0,0.07740171780056207,0.04585592317801445,0.0,0.12906452098270402,0.0,0.08888513261374204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445582772228263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561373629102847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945982087936687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330293555608414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08766597649535803,0.0,0.05699116892378792,0.1576771379543358,0.08086893926130473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05385877814952349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16256605717376627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12880618060836405,0.0,0.05931376544030334,0.29913960287906205,0.0622303022787248,0.07792739840589308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05467517212072194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07702426949549322,0.0,0.14090445117528014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051689754363891866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890571864966992,0.0,0.19249511850728016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08282339874878747,0.06674459860110903,0.0,0.08074464018363553,0.0,0.13673059800000956,0.06211630918394859,0.0,0.0,0.11422045517799995,0.0,0.06443623887166211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09156193587804948,0.07604594832509623,0.0,0.06066610828576435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05360443860392225,0.10340113514481658,0.0,0.0,0.18819548356157564,0.0,0.3059249753259905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776360029015781,0.07881885876714087,0.0,0.0,0.06968711699395616,0.0,0.0,0.14277273364463666,0.0,0.06472173864808015,0.0,0.07254673618128947,0.07479707284468526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17622191379449947,0.0,0.08222630370156778,0.1719518455622344,0.0,0.0,0.10391875304185008
addiction,f13xsvv4G,2020/02/26,"I think I'm becoming an adrenaline junkie Lately I've noticed that I love the thrill of extreme situations. In a few weeks I've put myself into some quite difficult situations (not lethal by any means) simply because I love the adrenaline rush and that necessity of sorting yourself out by any means. I've been getting deeper into the dealer world simply because I like the feeling of danger and it makes me feel like a man. I've put myself into odd situations with my car (strange rural paths, without battery, etc) not on purpose but I always like it in the end and it's like I'm always looking for a next adventure. I don't speed and put people in danger, I simply do some dumb stuff that would make me need to go full smart in order to get out of and I love it and I love the danger of doing it without my parents knowing and help, just having to learn it all on the process. The rush of adrenaline makes me feel alive and it's so powerful, I really want to know how can I stop this because so far it hasn't done any harm but it could anytime... Sorry I'm writing this in my phone",5.421947552447556,5.4090022227272785,6.457272727272727,78.90898601398601,67.68181818181819,8.951048951048953,31.01398601398601,8.617729084823388,2.3404930069930066,859,31,168,12,13,288,116,220,0.095,0.6859999999999999,0.21899999999999997,0.9843,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,4,17,4,0,12,0,10,4,0,4,1,44,34,13,1,4,7,1,3,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,15,14,0,1,9,0,0,7,6,6,0,0,2,4,19,11,28,30,6,29,0,0,1,4,9,15,1,3,10,106,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812911375945375,0.0,0.0,0.22224577129314546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19922371720186927,0.12031402754824227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697853735841632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11148192033467724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09648718689513963,0.0,0.12149523738268825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652477545839884,0.077825694680524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11383175241084208,0.0,0.06191226681148328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07301918821275903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197395143228563,0.0,0.12288738647008045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21288741690365406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09148091314504687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3932850409946462,0.0,0.2181519078782289,0.0,0.0,0.2373319517936792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08077652623166129,0.0,0.0,0.11585734330431367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12402721785721987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12096332548024745,0.0,0.0,0.07552424752546877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3285398804867437,0.0,0.1158695169303272,0.0,0.0,0.06978880026412053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3673543552186521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194774516386503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09107747390636023,0.0,0.0,0.12470853283446047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06980339969216298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06425475682822736,0.0,0.08738390319015997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21002567601645247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07738679326731047,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,PA5NTH2U,2020/02/27,"banned from a weightlifting forum for advising against the use of adderall in favor of a healthy more natural lifestyle https://www.reddit.com/r/gainit/comments/f9zpah/if_you_consistently_have_trouble_gaining_weight/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

i guess people are more brainwashed by the pharmaceutical industry and in love with their prescriptions than i realized, but i should've known. 

my opinion advising the avoidance of medications in favor of a healthier more natural lifestyle SILENCED. kind of bizarre right? like... disagree, discuss, but silenced! that opinion is forbidden!

forbidden opinions. whatsup with people these days?",16.171481481481482,22.43130991358025,9.566530864197533,40.902388888888936,54.80246913580247,9.659753086419752,45.13703703703704,9.642632912329526,6.410431111111111,577,30,49,13,10,151,57,81,0.212,0.631,0.157,-0.8140000000000001,0,1,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,1,0,0,6,0,1,6,0,2,2,0,1,0,14,5,3,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,5,15,5,3,5,0,0,0,1,5,4,0,4,2,36,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6039133697033154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17972972456514294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3070045773206469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902090836866668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13615213722287953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515254290179223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.280747309486492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3864122309265841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379967313650245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406956401853457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Unleaked,2020/02/27,life SUCKS i dont even know what to say omg im literally breathless and just in bed i literally cannot handle being sober but im all out of money 🤡,-2.250196078431376,-0.6155469999999994,1.8905882352941177,91.60098039215687,107.23529411764706,4.6196078431372545,14.490196078431374,6.42735559955562,-0.3378274509803925,118,3,28,2,6,44,29,34,0.075,0.925,0.0,-0.27699999999999997,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,6,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,4,4,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,15,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4167063403487935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348398948340921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7681181144476469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954030393594929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511381246058561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827506083872246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,depressedgyall,2020/02/27,"I think I’m addicted to Vyvanse but I need it. How can I go cold turkey? I love Vyvanse. I love it more than my loved ones. I love it more than myself. Deep down, I know I’m miserably depressed but with Vyvanse, my depression disappears for 12 hours. The highlight of my day is waking up to pop 100 mg of Vyvanse. I would have energy drinks or caffeine pills throughout the day. 

I am diagnosed with C-PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder and ADHD. I struggle with my ADHD so I do need my Vyvanse to concentrate. But I’m chasing something more than concentration. I’m addicted to the energy, motivation and confidence I get from these pills. I don’t believe I could ever get that without stimulants. 

I’m trying to stick with my 50 mg a day as prescribed. But days when I take 50 mg instead of 100 mg, I’m incredibly depressed. I don’t want to sit with my depression and anxiety and PTSD. 

I want to go cold turkey until I get Vyvanse out of my system. I want to go through the withdrawal this time. I want to work on my C-PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder then return to stimulants when needed. I want to go back to a time when I never depended on Vyvanse. I would take it once in a while. How long would I need to go cold turkey until the withdrawal systems stop?",2.1485258964143408,4.4202742430278885,4.262651792828688,82.38384223107572,79.47808764940241,7.840701195219122,27.17147410358566,8.726425361277474,2.4005405896414347,989,43,190,24,25,339,113,251,0.16899999999999998,0.652,0.18,-0.1746,0,0,2,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,2,9,12,0,2,8,0,11,11,1,6,2,41,42,21,0,13,6,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,7,11,1,1,3,1,0,6,4,8,0,1,0,3,34,4,38,38,5,36,0,7,0,4,4,7,0,2,20,124,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194610648297812,0.21454358977083654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828277772567712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863454782710386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005641606910469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712659305322753,0.0,0.0,0.2302583022273161,0.0,0.4612711123541223,0.09059585623809932,0.0,0.0,0.20459675560530846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08743969409039434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073974210466445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13990219896862735,0.0,0.2536393137712334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879019897254652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049054330923830734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07899127550607596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222383965300772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647372320526637,0.06884192955609197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950577646452336,0.06048410838089011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3130164654687484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687158253220917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07462439730067177,0.0,0.09331273263736067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342230971125669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0571934684631366,0.0,0.0,0.10409510919690602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060600901631959476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632359186277806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08604234844341364,0.0,0.0649815075692266,0.0,0.0,0.1902207832161267,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,tweh55CHUH,2020/02/27,I’m addicted to eating my own boogers I’ve been doing this since i was like 5 and I’m 20. Is it wrong to eat boogers?,-1.4558333333333309,0.1386460357142898,1.5357142857142847,100.67595238095241,88.64285714285714,5.161904761904762,20.047619047619047,6.42735559955562,-0.15339523809523792,91,3,25,1,3,32,22,28,0.11699999999999999,0.789,0.094,-0.1531,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,1,2,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,12,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39820003343223664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7475282115493705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17845328603674265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3021564977675005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39936722683757103,0.0,0.0
addiction,cat_the_beeral,2020/02/27,"it may sound weird but.. i am addicted to the internet, i cant focus on my studies, and don't have the slightest idea what i'm going to do with life in future.

i am a undergrad student currently in the 2nd year of the course, internet addiction has just wasted me completely. may it be my phone or my computer i stay on it for hours, uselessly. even when o try to browse the internet for study material i get distracted, either by the social media, or the video games or youtube or just searching random pointless things in google. i've tried several times to switch my phone and computer off and start studying, but i failed, irritation, agitation..keeps me from studying the books. my cgpa has dropped to around 5. something and i am afraid it might drop further below, resulting in my getting kicked out. please someone help me out, any advice is helpful, suggestion are welcome. i just need a cure to end this weird addiction of mine!!!",5.787026515151517,7.004206982954546,6.2879545454545465,76.10401515151518,67.23863636363636,10.184848484848484,33.984848484848484,10.317481424215053,3.7006757575757567,743,34,133,19,12,241,116,176,0.11599999999999999,0.8059999999999999,0.077,-0.6341,1,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,1,6,7,0,2,10,0,15,4,0,1,0,25,21,11,0,1,10,0,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,0,7,8,0,0,1,3,0,1,2,6,0,0,0,1,18,1,24,17,1,24,0,2,0,0,8,12,0,8,8,90,25,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5679892477067849,0.0,0.16971173333959266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11810393493431365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15460623515603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18209335957333367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538231712138317,0.0,0.0,0.11470970822922248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814744703842692,0.0,0.09870265186950904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23281937118869464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17103341279213322,0.0,0.0,0.1960562409198546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15436898585228728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226707285792472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842401371937092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12877669900455252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19064134888446396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19620161983382936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17703826115535418,0.14715299223084022,0.1337023445586542,0.0,0.0,0.12292699658499327,0.18511284209055476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153809557304938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10127041399472936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358258113784587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11184003933782913
addiction,supdood22,2020/02/27,"I’m slowly losing everything So I recently got back into school after I dropped out a couple years ago due to bad partying habits and a few other things. It’s exam season right now, and I (stupidly) made the decision to drink with a buddy the other night, as he’s not able to drink on weekends due to work. The next day I had an exam. Well, we ended up getting into cocaine, and long story short I ended up staying awake until about noon the next day. I flopped on my exam, and now I believe I’m going to be kicked out of my co op program due to the fact that missing that exam will put my average for the program out of whack. I also lost a job in October due to this same issue, as I missed every Saturday morning shift for a few weeks in a row. I was talking to somebody about my addictionfor a bit, and they told after had lost my job, that it will at some point affect my school. Well, it now has. I was guaranteed a position somewhere following my school terms; and I’ve just fucked it all up. I want to go to rehab, but I can’t afford it. 

Sometimes I wonder why try at all... I build myself up so much but than something like this steps in and ruins me. It takes everything from me worth having. Maybe I should just give up on everything now? 

I really hate this addiction",3.39416817906836,4.4608566321839085,5.003383746723131,83.65762250453724,72.71647509578544,7.793587416817907,25.614236741278482,8.20500826718156,1.5560911877394634,995,31,201,15,19,337,150,261,0.091,0.863,0.047,-0.8988,3,0,4,0,0,0,29.0,1,0,1,4,14,13,3,0,15,0,11,5,0,2,3,30,30,15,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,15,14,2,0,2,3,1,5,2,10,2,0,9,0,29,3,42,17,9,57,0,6,0,1,6,21,1,2,30,141,44,12,0.1145493452438864,0.0,0.0,0.12487569443423675,0.0,0.0,0.1015410830467082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160507000599742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08808137578344206,0.09564391854929784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12905788569465285,0.0,0.0,0.12505821698601552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12674667174899262,0.0,0.14774970250282926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22442949789562947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20291343967820968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965127638407236,0.0,0.3088486959623555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10589902385441484,0.0598473050400587,0.10988616980737184,0.1302020653855954,0.0,0.09161557567337043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11309376320414245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955975558040295,0.2273450998012529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055963023975240236,0.0,0.0,0.1013725658831614,0.0,0.12815141674016264,0.25008828375174746,0.0,0.0,0.10838936015706267,0.0,0.0,0.11508021377594728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08420694897084655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436490564017232,0.10749680072593068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10828615687593507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11515373071155975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07338324376685491,0.0,0.11310365909235907,0.0,0.0,0.09782451495129003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3477901586534585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08818568234340943,0.11329223146537727,0.0,0.0,0.12209436075462403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08612685178149235,0.0920704246549572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07610149503447666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10945680828487986,0.0,0.0777714862040968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675641716960416,0.0,0.0918845752446547,0.0,0.2059872363951564,0.0,0.10336296707171087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12422387856907392,0.08339328761366667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07376602268925453
addiction,questiondragonwizard,2020/02/27,"Cant stop drugs ive been using drugs for a year mostly weed and im sooo addicted to them. i just have to get my life back on track. im only getting worse and more depressed and i fucking hate this. what are some ways to get sober and be happy, as long as im happy im fine or just more happy then i am now. any sort of help would be much appreciated. thanks",-1.121624999999998,0.8597700875000029,1.5425000000000004,98.2525,91.875,4.2,14.25,5.6839178017228535,-1.0634,277,5,69,2,10,95,57,80,0.115,0.634,0.251,0.8936,0,0,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,5,8,2,0,1,0,9,5,0,1,0,13,16,8,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,6,5,8,12,5,8,0,1,0,1,2,1,1,4,6,41,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553439466350651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969035845655572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10957223182011584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12273339218345587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3305050779207825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13173718380408422,0.22334810474967265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4550755850703772,0.0,0.14068735790050044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551346293851848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6156895402700701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006506119140651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261063214595904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10475248883695057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083762151854274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11913478006824756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13119309184995492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12307259353371665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310834748095172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145217723013576,0.1012265514255128,0.0,0.0,0.09176409503896904
addiction,coulrophobicz,2020/02/27,"advice needed? okay so me and my boyfriend have been hanging out with this dude recently that my boyfriend used to work with (i’m gunna refer to him as J). he was super chill and smoked weed, which was cool to us because my boyfriend (i’m gunna refer to HIM as A) and i are pretty much self proclaimed “stoners”. 

at first we were smoking like one blunt with him and then heading out, then his girlfriend started hanging out with us too so we would just hang out longer. i became really good friend with her really fast and we just had this dope ass little friend group. about a week ago though, shit completely hit the fan and they broke up which i think made J snap. 

since i met A, he and I had done coke together a LOT. i wouldn’t call it an addiction in our case because we go weeks at a time without doing it, and then do it for pretty much a week straight, then stop again for like two months. we introduced J to coke, not thinking it would turn into him wanting to get coke every other day. after he left his girlfriend, he started selling stuff in his room to pay for it, but since me and A stopped doing it again, he hasn’t been able to. now he’s spending all of his money on ecstasy and i KNOW he’s abusing it. he’s been taking two 200mg exos every six hours. after looking at r/mdma i noticed how many people go months between rolls. he’s now waiting until his come down to start rolling again. 

i know that maybe it’s not my place, but i don’t know what to do. i don’t feel right with myself just sitting to the side and letting him do this. what should i say, if anything? what should i do to try to him to stop? he literally sold his cellphone today to buy more.",2.82194013781223,4.199861250000001,3.6486563307493536,91.5961714039621,74.5813953488372,6.142807924203272,24.07795004306633,6.42735559955562,0.5512983634797588,1306,39,282,9,27,416,185,344,0.055,0.86,0.086,0.8199,0,0,1,2,0,0,36.0,8,0,1,3,14,10,1,0,10,2,26,7,3,3,1,61,52,25,0,8,9,0,1,2,4,5,1,1,1,1,20,28,3,4,8,0,6,6,7,2,0,5,12,4,42,8,46,33,5,58,0,1,1,1,42,20,2,2,33,187,62,2,0.1035154991065762,0.12264893946161465,0.0,0.11284717348770895,0.0,0.10115414768358144,0.091760244190163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851844356725741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12620417491848587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10570089831444633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916943659162108,0.108534031348458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675893330016565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059322953996737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17443254516831608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05234054664102268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08805023065913649,0.0,0.0,0.15995163565688567,0.0,0.05408257583851906,0.0,0.1176604873157606,0.08682388939100613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10623676630556246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194191501057658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706682334343958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11246989266155767,0.1058516112261126,0.0,0.10114488818729346,0.10374972460216164,0.0,0.0,0.08692694820487958,0.0,0.0,0.0880051755911325,0.0,0.09794886815470127,0.0,0.10494846869402964,0.10399523228129892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16525016758280225,0.0,0.15219160497863068,0.07675543094739973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11785308182894552,0.0,0.0,0.07014478119678957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07176461326363998,0.0,0.10815166441548288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21062495417015267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13262935878703253,0.0,0.1022090671648816,0.0,0.0,0.08840167063793818,0.0,0.08231967969745557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10798924145964832,0.0,0.1062571722752071,0.17125818112122373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21980640917695374,0.0,0.0,0.2596307771109554,0.0,0.0,0.11850048061085207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07783077266532973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13265710410967166,0.10170345229531512,0.0,0.060360719978637116,0.0,0.09812058940342074,0.0,0.0,0.07028022895754571,0.11259513780410085,0.20223920247363472,0.0,0.2490327997959531,0.08940415519832455,0.0,0.0,0.06105612336716022,0.0,0.24910166827393074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09978524717953954,0.0,0.07536051621323159,0.0,0.0,0.14706888112109856,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Udybaby,2020/02/27,"Porn Addiction Hey guys, this is a very common problem for many like me. I have been addicted to porn and masturbation for almost three years. I want to break this habit and stop, but everytime I try to do, it does not work. Can someone help me out in fighting this addiction? Any strategies or tips?",2.8210526315789486,5.429391719298248,3.434298245614034,87.36092105263157,79.17543859649123,7.308771929824562,25.28947368421053,8.344100000000001,1.819715789473684,236,9,46,5,6,74,46,57,0.11900000000000001,0.777,0.10400000000000001,-0.2218,0,0,0,0,2,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,0,5,5,0,0,0,10,6,4,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,5,1,7,5,0,6,0,0,0,2,4,2,0,2,4,28,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7242688801502213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22175916342560076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15059969012013416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19380023235939908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192791927420054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14843927585682382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10819366380837954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22452463080605892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119063204929374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18764146209472646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18514961073158775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15035610005575928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18272683890334127,0.13062223516026109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16122476383585774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14261231242353076
addiction,Espy37,2020/02/28,"A Friend gave me their drugs to recover but is now trying to get them back My friend (21F) recently gave me her vape with jars weed and synthetic weed juice. At first she just wanted to give me the vape in case ""she was really bad"" and then could buy a cheap vape to use with her juice, but I convinced her to give me all of it. 

She wants to quit and asked for my help, but about a day in she starts messaging me to get them back. On the first night I went over to spend time with her, she had kept some regular weed and was high when I came over (not great but I didn't make a fuss about that). 

She talks a lot about not being able to sleep and the synthetic weed vape ""knocks her brain out"". She also uses a bunch of sleeping pills but they don't seem to work. I say no and stay with her for a few hours before going home. 

Night 2 she messages me wanting the vape back but doesn't want me to come over. This time more manic then before and it seems she hasn't slept much in the past 2 days. 

My question is, am I going about this the right way? She seems very half in half out. She wants to quit (when she's sober) but she can't seem to do it. Are these just withdrawal symptoms and it'll get easier or is synthetic weed something else entirely weird. A drug that knocks your brain out can't be good for you and I know she uses it a lot. She says she's not feeling any withdrawals so she doesn't need to quit. But If she needs it to sleep then surely that's a dependancy. I also don't know if I want to destroy the vape and juice. It seems extreme but maybe it's necessary?",1.98758039476602,3.3199186407185657,2.836240851630073,96.76111000221779,76.66467065868264,6.505034375693059,18.957196717675764,7.093109894594671,-0.10697347527167844,1222,22,297,13,27,385,157,334,0.067,0.848,0.084,0.8249,0,0,3,0,0,0,32.0,0,2,4,6,15,9,1,0,17,0,21,10,6,5,2,65,57,30,0,11,17,0,1,0,2,1,4,2,1,0,14,19,0,1,9,0,3,5,12,3,0,4,10,3,49,6,41,43,8,42,0,0,0,0,44,14,0,13,21,193,63,1,0.08613205100427998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13775954013893954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058572748276791965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052184071678399,0.0,0.0,0.19869069182422466,0.07191666485039983,0.0,0.0,0.1465840629586538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923037090006004,0.0,0.09851212050869357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07419513528718033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876943409813972,0.0,0.0,0.11109609474193023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19977166809715927,0.0,0.07195227639068995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04355095296632792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465277571673238,0.0,0.0,0.13309081789223245,0.0,0.13500132504129222,0.1652514235216663,0.09790165899925324,0.07224347787490899,0.0,0.09496089030507038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05773249820245565,0.09100324086377044,0.08639746993546947,0.0,0.08482272025877856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467184536843827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14645277930509418,0.0,0.0,0.057493812871694035,0.0,0.08653122216831136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331696796895354,0.12773164888883634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161658190244731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222278872830313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09648760937069367,0.2748361153403225,0.0,0.0,0.05517839741055697,0.0,0.08504500931866912,0.0,0.0,0.07355630094012394,0.0,0.1369913280919841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3920569217034789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585827636242773,0.0,0.0,0.06630866089437693,0.0,0.0,0.060964709020062936,0.09180530613651408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08117843874058031,0.08952418036675643,0.0,0.0692296799731357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10044858319240328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05847800877558864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231713121802679,0.0,0.07106796255664033,0.30481749172089523,0.06836761297022724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984527420106075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06270515895889227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,scottyg561,2020/02/28,"Tryna quit alcohol. Desperate need for help Remove if not allowed!
Either way, I’m a 19 year old male (Australia) and I need help to quit alcohol consumption, I didn’t think I had a problem for so long but it’s started to negatively affect my relationships, my sorta girlfriend isn’t happy when I drink bc I can’t have a few on the weekend. I need to get severely drunk whenever I have had more than one, I know I have a issue where I can’t have a few. I want to quit straight up or learn to drink in moderation. Any advice will help, I’m ruining friendships and relationships because I am getting too drunk to be able to walk home every other night or some shit. Just please any advice to help me quit will be more than appreciated.",3.2786734693877584,4.9833199455782315,5.001105442176876,81.02573979591841,74.03401360544217,8.16530612244898,27.215986394557824,8.841846274778883,2.1357170068027216,580,22,115,12,12,197,91,147,0.134,0.6709999999999999,0.195,0.8646,1,0,4,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,4,5,4,1,0,6,0,15,7,1,2,0,21,26,8,0,6,7,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,1,2,2,6,0,3,5,0,2,6,3,0,1,3,0,15,1,15,19,6,15,0,1,0,0,8,5,1,5,7,73,17,1,0.1234593037087425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24128600543979603,0.0,0.2638808985856955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16791312024372554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525964563302176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418862323735185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040197881307224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12900478118594402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314247245143805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3310086754621564,0.0,0.1238397478762005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288594373378296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06785000457859952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10925759874451738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746305280586265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11585819316805875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12954977115205973,0.0,0.08365921934493745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13552124133910873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11813388010610185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5252566656012995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650981776571695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394738718972174,0.1267292010991576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738513060659682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910773674836953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07281949604767744,0.09799624872643084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950374381615873
addiction,FaP_corleone,2020/02/28,"Addiction of Drugz How can get the feeling that you really is done with drugz. ALL DRUGZ.

That yall dont need em drugz never again.

I have been taught that, yall can go one day at a time without drugz.

But it must not be a mental grind - it must come naturally.

How can one achieve this kinda mindstate.",0.9269585253456184,3.24006496774194,2.13847926267281,95.50629032258064,84.80645161290323,5.478341013824887,18.534562211981566,6.868970318607317,0.002043317972350245,236,6,53,3,7,75,46,62,0.0,0.973,0.027000000000000003,0.128,0,0,5,0,0,0,8.0,0,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,0,11,1,0,2,4,14,17,3,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,3,1,4,0,4,11,1,7,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,4,37,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3243656645406219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25630684990000474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918905462553727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3044896768936009,0.3487180462159065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15044662324204233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554538772195345,0.0,0.16910047889904367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29985324608897684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.220624279695112,0.2294834164937264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40324551982564855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906135916875138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734996495074244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868207241031773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,thrownaway13337,2020/02/28,"Im tired Today is my first day being sober in about a year.

I've been abusing downers and weed for 6 years now and I'm getting really tired of all the shit that comes with it. Tears are coming to my eyes if I think about how often I lied and dissapointed the very few people that care about me.

I don't have anyone besides my parents and I just hate lying to them.

I feel like if I don't change myself I'll either OD or kill myself.

Damn, I just want to live a normal life. A good job, friends and family.


Everytime I tried to get sober I relapsed because my PTSD is killing me. I've been to therapy for that a bunch of times but it feels like nothing really helps.",0.6736170212765948,2.7778709716312093,2.637702127659576,92.89400000000002,83.9645390070922,5.4621276595744686,18.61985815602837,6.742157984588678,0.025687092198581674,521,13,116,6,15,174,93,141,0.172,0.7240000000000001,0.105,-0.8152,2,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,1,1,8,10,5,0,6,0,9,5,2,1,1,23,20,10,3,4,7,1,2,2,1,0,3,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,5,0,1,2,3,18,5,14,17,4,10,0,0,1,0,4,1,2,4,9,71,23,1,0.0,0.17736390538531432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10467011168349696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912525841549552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15262386452657373,0.0,0.15835729034499535,0.25789769702571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09654078691141756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14111897127331635,0.0,0.15138041638198388,0.21388404512268774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273303531880095,0.0,0.0,0.1156538609196575,0.0,0.1564187494180376,0.0,0.0,0.1255569283414061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14779266163723562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033729483964453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16169611338332615,0.0,0.14854902895555705,0.0,0.33123031941157793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573389146106944,0.14626667346172867,0.0,0.13218328496483248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14666915854269708,0.14363623486846425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16621840300567312,0.0,0.0,0.1037795527036704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17498525554575264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19179669344454733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15365960058569572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17118909390170858,0.0,0.0,0.09591840812191177,0.0,0.0,0.08728826416498316,0.3441043917961075,0.1418932035751211,0.0,0.0,0.10163296913941587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351391910484015,0.08829389422870859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19279713615964128
addiction,ontheb0rderline,2020/02/28,"Boyfriend trying to come off drugs and alcohol but friends don’t care? My (27F) partner (26M) is a super social guy. I have absolutely no issue with this. Hes the best person I’ve ever met and puts so much effort into our relationship and I try to do the same. 
I’m worried about him lately as he has been trying to get off drugs and alcohol, and trying to live a bit more of a wholesome lifestyle as he had a bit of a cocaine problem for a few years. He only really does it now when he drinks, which he never wants to when we’re together...but when his friends ask him to hangout, it’s only ever involving drinking and going out. He’s told all his “friends” he’s trying to stop but none of them seem to really care. 

He’s usually pretty good and says no, but a few of his friends have started ripping into him saying that he doesn’t have time for them anymore and I think he feels pressured into doing it, because he doesn’t want to loose friends. 

I don’t know how to approach the situation because I love him and want him to hang out with whoever he wants, but I’m also sick of seeing his friends treat him like shit (in my opinion) and not respect him or his want to live a different kind of life.. 

Has anyone else experienced anything like this?",5.778319327731094,5.17187074509804,6.691610644257704,79.52867647058824,67.0392156862745,9.324929971988798,32.331932773109244,8.634040054169528,2.436075630252101,980,36,199,13,14,328,137,255,0.11,0.649,0.24100000000000002,0.9922,1,0,7,0,0,0,26.0,1,0,2,3,10,20,1,1,11,0,15,10,1,1,4,42,37,23,0,6,6,0,1,2,7,0,6,2,0,3,7,18,4,1,4,3,0,5,9,3,0,0,4,5,23,17,33,33,10,26,0,0,1,1,46,8,1,3,15,124,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20124450153942133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07529511346392055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337570825483103,0.06583483533579172,0.0964721477592334,0.07748091886262802,0.0,0.08802150656105784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11479110426427785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09880906832533952,0.0,0.20558409347738396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919930499320065,0.0,0.0,0.0811055426620152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09837114338167907,0.0,0.0,0.08239501183642661,0.0,0.0,0.1844706249075056,0.2183780578983004,0.0,0.07865378774290784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17033580498944675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047607213870694776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4364600037468782,0.0,0.04919170547226328,0.0,0.0535100256230543,0.07897211123285303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932275026789118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827256680831822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09804715439777706,0.0517447091625445,0.0,0.10621008626265548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06650392573192884,0.09199801364103416,0.0,0.1662798416823671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497787960529082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692142015370476,0.0,0.07261755600335433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14321708787926446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08221185258360028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09578871337030252,0.0,0.09009289396954842,0.0,0.09465101897911307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206352370106618,0.0,0.0,0.10108641987267736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14975046493122698,0.0,0.0,0.07502874083616247,0.08571448590553085,0.0,0.0,0.09664797657723134,0.0,0.1058333131318694,0.0,0.09597839279139422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06664285723269511,0.0,0.0,0.07871716242036325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603302366149377,0.0,0.0,0.05490209579049113,0.0,0.0,0.08996841330582521,0.0,0.31962275000782264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10369759576330244,0.0,0.2776730574855845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561820330161384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06063224500353441
addiction,BostonTA0192837465,2020/02/28,"""If you have to ask, you should have your answer."" Hey all. Thank you for taking the time to read this, I'm a bit lost.

I'm trying to be honest with myself about having an addictive mindset, and I can't tell whether or not I'm just lying to myself to make myself feel better. I've recently started to get into Blackjack, and after a couple of months of studying, I've been able to keep a pretty strict schedule as far as winning or losing. So far I'm up a good amount, but my visits to the casino have also gone from 1-2 times a month, to 1-2 times a week, to 3-4 times a week. Some of it has to do with the fact that I'm winning (I set out an amount for the year, and if I dip below it, I'm done until next year), but I'm wondering if I'm just taking this a step too far... I feel like because I'm winning, it's justifying going so often, and I wonder if that's the start of a problem. I'm trying to see if this can become a career, so I'm sort of treating it like that as far as the time I'm putting in to leaning my craft, but again, I'm just wondering if this is starting to become a problem. 

Is the fact that I'm setting hard limits for myself enough of an indication that I don't have a problem? At what point does this become a problem, outside of simply ""betting too much money""? What are some indication that this is becoming a problem if I keep winning at the pace I have been? It's like... just because I win/I'm not losing money I don't have, doesn't mean a problem isn't forming, right?

I guess I'm just trying to figure out what some warming signs to look out for are. I'm wondering if my ""system"" is just a justification for a growing problem, or if it's showing that I do have the ability to let limits, thus showing that I have this under control...

I'm sorry if I'm not explaining myself clearly, just let me know if there are some more details I can share to get a clearer answer.",6.307658802177856,4.103685285714288,7.595408348457353,78.66674228675137,66.83251231527095,9.729634430904847,32.944775732434536,7.669130373188453,2.2099428571428565,1470,47,318,12,19,511,168,406,0.095,0.79,0.115,0.7722,0,0,0,0,0,0,57.0,0,4,0,11,17,24,0,0,30,0,33,1,0,4,4,79,78,31,0,19,28,0,4,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,24,10,0,5,13,5,4,6,8,10,0,0,5,6,27,14,50,69,12,45,0,3,2,0,10,16,0,26,23,214,51,2,0.07987670213585095,0.0,0.0,0.08707739557213598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06387736983938239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467393393482978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09738419246653963,0.3528701676611215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07064445192781248,0.08720467084787384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958851349920006,0.0,0.08838205163416323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06990064031868001,0.08174159888361261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253398569472152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08077612125249334,0.057063931965971676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08346456015336,0.0,0.04539577058312717,0.06699678802708763,0.0,0.0,0.0879931927816655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155383573049318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419961659422291,0.0,0.0,0.04389814653763626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633586794921023,0.0,0.1170711658065193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06707631233261957,0.1787231960417966,0.08719485609617945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053318318928437664,0.0,0.0,0.08700914528357534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275136431532927,0.0,0.05871856680099264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494977890290598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550930195017179,0.0,0.0,0.08126332226493478,0.0,0.5350185145182751,0.0,0.08029814773969789,0.0,0.0,0.07989831790585171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788686069620059,0.0,0.0,0.0682142671851311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06365138993078519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08941542843916174,0.16961142268465487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12011467845585115,0.0,0.06981575837489486,0.0735397355533094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23288373683418806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16269311251742738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281445447299609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3464915046173645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028759546298756
addiction,Tini529,2020/02/28,"Reaching out for comments, advice, opinions.. no need to sugarcoat please 
I’ll be 26 in a month, female 
I’ve been doing cocaine almost daily for 6 years now (Canada) 
I’ve had a full out hole in my nose for about 3 years (literally NO septum it’s not a joke or cool it’s disgusting) so I can’t imagine the damage on my chest and lungs 

I know my family will always support me and help but I can’t admit to them how deep in trouble I am to ask for help.
I’m stubborn and can admit that ultimately it’s MY choice to change and try and as scared as I am I won’t do better, so maybe that’s it’s that.. 
 I almost don’t care if I don’t live I’m so stuck and hurt and alone .. but I still don’t think I want to die yet, I haven’t lost all hope in myself yet but I’m close

I need help, I don’t have a friend to support me, 
My two best friends that’s i was able to tell and be open with, couldn’t give me the support I needed, I felt like I begged them till it just hurt. 
They don’t get it I guess, I don’t blame them. However it hurts to feel like you have no real friends. 

QUESTION: 

I have no one to really talk to or encourage me knowing the whole story ( my addiction is my secret) 
Is there a “peer support” type of thing I could look into..  or where should I start? I dont know if I can stop? I want to so bad.. i know it’s dumb 


Most of it I won’t want to hear but oh well, 

please any and all options are wanted and any advice please ! 
Thank you so much for your time 🙏🏼",-1.2548252279635257,0.6542161276595735,1.3903943768996996,99.74376785714287,91.37082066869301,4.384224924012158,15.215881458966566,5.838893488441508,-0.8964061398176293,1122,23,285,9,40,384,166,329,0.172,0.595,0.233,0.9673,1,1,1,0,0,1,35.0,0,3,4,3,15,29,3,1,8,1,33,4,3,1,2,62,68,28,1,13,11,0,2,2,3,4,1,1,0,0,14,16,0,2,12,1,0,0,18,11,1,2,6,6,46,18,32,54,7,24,0,5,1,0,24,13,1,13,13,180,60,1,0.09254616163468138,0.0,0.0,0.10088897650832054,0.0,0.1808700761207737,0.0,0.0,0.18534322522356475,0.09584991299151176,0.0,0.0,0.07700582019848988,0.0,0.0,0.12586912690938093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651816831491989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07727217930920498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971214869911607,0.08184955928182253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09435697966490547,0.0,0.09790156782637782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07389057951558309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09604830462221324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10846341218800007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724428479171607,0.0,0.04679412002351961,0.06611499636341384,0.08885882834547645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145028047248249,0.0,0.04835154975216199,0.08877871113760763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10195003078712092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043062502124399,0.0,0.18609522406309306,0.0,0.0,0.09191922028515127,0.0,0.0,0.29721774034550585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034438005728131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042675977503324,0.0,0.08171995624770398,0.0,0.07771546742672555,0.0,0.1010250677633818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09297505841161424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738694632749186,0.0,0.06803207729932663,0.2058654186118804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271167423714852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3047636831523866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367288121492076,0.0,0.0,0.10533779287351996,0.059287440923081476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09265485260474786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06550464953750729,0.0,0.07390748422820705,0.0773727350693965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4200811500056127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743850991356599,0.08088942440590466,0.08520407166426627,0.0,0.0,0.06148355754549775,0.05929984352527985,0.0,0.0,0.05396441108570002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06283276886035162,0.0,0.09040415243385046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21834449568201084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08321011365678185,0.0,0.0,0.10332448445115444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11919338769527665
addiction,thallxv304,2020/02/28,"i want to tell my boyfriend about my coke addiction im going to start off with saying that my boyfriend is straight edge. he doesn’t drink, do any form of nicotine, or any kinds of drugs, it’s something his stuck by for the last two years and he plans on never doing any sort of harmful stuff to his body. he knows i occasionally smoke and he’s for the most part okay with it. 
so to start from the beginning i first tried coke when i was around 17, it was something i was offered and i thought why not. i never did it again until recently. i’m now 20 years old and most of my co workers do coke, and a lot of it. i started by just bumming from them to buying my own grams. it wasn’t a problem at first and i was only occasionally doing key bumps at work just to get through my day. it’s been a few weeks and now i do multiple lines a day and if it weren’t for me living with my boyfriend i could probably do grams a day. i love coke so much. i love the rush it gives me. i love how im not hungry or tired when i do it. even if i don’t have a reason to do it, i’ll still snort lines all through the night. 
my boyfriend found out that my co workers do coke, at first he told me that he would be devastated if i ever did anything like that. then a few weeks pass by and he starts asking me if i’m doing coke, of course i say no. when he asked i didn’t feel as if it were a problem and i had been telling myself that if it became a problem then i would tell my boyfriend so he could help me. there have been multiple occasions where i just want to blurt out that i have a coke problem. i was so so so close to doing it the other day when we had an argument but i ended up just keeping quiet. today he told me that if he ever found i was doing coke or that i brought it into our home, that he would break the lease with me and never talk to me again. for him to say that was kinda scary because this man loves me so much, i see it, our families see it and our friends see it and for him to say he’d leave me was sort of a shock to me. now i feel as my coke problem gets worse (because im too weak and can not stop on my own) and i really need help, that he won’t help me. has anyone gone through a problem similar to mine with a significant other? i don’t want my boyfriend to leave me but i also really want to let him know before it gets out of hand",1.58852912621359,2.6005137922330093,3.2475606796116523,94.71095266990291,77.09708737864078,6.392718446601942,22.00121359223301,6.742157984588678,0.2116029126213589,1813,47,449,16,40,603,203,515,0.079,0.8270000000000001,0.094,0.7389,1,0,6,0,0,0,36.0,4,0,1,7,31,17,0,0,21,1,49,20,2,2,6,85,88,45,0,23,19,0,3,1,1,4,4,5,1,1,34,27,10,2,8,1,1,5,14,9,0,4,27,12,71,8,58,52,12,62,0,0,3,4,47,15,0,16,42,313,105,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07734717516961491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056739571525747136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14474754940204185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049610660992108924,0.0,0.058386712436435236,0.0631615242781925,0.13265940743201882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865022678270276,0.0,0.06037416295371486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881068077758956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11329736498426694,0.0,0.0,0.18303036747896784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06950506968393169,0.08228075412697035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06284161795522551,0.0,0.0,0.04686253445051845,0.1283586695865136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06688638552871137,0.0,0.07175001915236312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810529161882554,0.0,0.15558844480339473,0.05481664626348425,0.0,0.11120706893367252,0.06806276324080719,0.04032314696807898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426710864952594,0.0,0.07116974142194453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22991809989823245,0.0,0.0,0.06306460045333377,0.0,0.07388465564255191,0.07798574147880175,0.05783461875489317,0.0,0.150253947332791,0.0,0.07255231001761732,0.0,0.03466312510249002,0.0,0.06265112393347685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06032009063143653,0.25614456270292313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043144490536054,0.052609343940319714,0.16416559415312942,0.0,0.0,0.06658280391225731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07445124745716702,0.0,0.0,0.05396151109678945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07683313053713701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649728942667121,0.4073437411416772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090618692236578,0.0729495508899687,0.07005565471948742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256926598576858,0.0,0.0,0.1696165293329457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092432510677216,0.0,0.0,0.2008782238675583,0.0,0.05666164259752626,0.059318299182777985,0.0,0.0,0.0812220381619876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057027809102420175,0.1860431742523477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05632725055680465,0.0,0.08154785569978562,0.06725334965663858,0.13559363913489345,0.0,0.04817114166117775,0.0,0.06930891814315225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16739519558358193,0.0,0.1138253904257843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402233482158592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05165324809001354,0.0,0.07230523559473086,0.15120488389518935,0.0,0.0,0.09138036836329737
addiction,Lola_Mist1,2020/02/28,Nicotine I am trying to give up NRT. Last time I got depression and suicidal thoughts due to isolating myself due to uncomfortable withdrawal symptoms (cold turkey). Any advice or similar experiences?,8.04208333333333,11.559624875,8.482500000000002,53.245833333333366,65.875,13.016666666666666,41.91666666666666,11.855464076750405,7.252841666666669,164,10,19,7,3,54,28,32,0.285,0.6859999999999999,0.028999999999999998,-0.8934,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,4,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,3,0,4,2,0,5,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,4,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3248569660177259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260709099042905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28633047756642044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32519055622587034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3189071776347294,0.0,0.0,0.2658830016242453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27098334182302936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3636359015227209,0.0,0.0,0.34553292289287346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639205880525426,0.1938487032706055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257052476147271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,hereiamagain13,2020/02/28,"There is hope I’ve never been to jail. I’ve never lost my job or almost died from using, that I know of at least. 
Still, ive done coke and meth for longer than I haven’t and I’m almost 40. 
I’ve been clean for over 18 months now and I say all this in hopes someone reads it and needs to know you can recover. 
I beg the one suffering addict who is struggling to put it down. I love you and your life is so special to me and I don’t even know you. 
Please put it down and start a life in recovery.",-0.6382432432432417,1.1827624054054056,1.4120945945945955,101.41381756756759,87.1081081081081,4.781081081081081,14.655405405405405,5.985473137389443,-1.0208324324324325,381,6,99,3,12,126,73,111,0.079,0.746,0.175,0.8792,1,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,4,0,1,5,7,0,1,2,0,10,5,0,1,3,20,21,9,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,6,7,1,0,3,1,0,2,4,3,0,1,4,1,13,4,15,17,2,14,0,2,0,1,7,6,0,5,6,63,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18692608037028055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3434020624777553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17795733221419213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17547190728569242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11325339111406707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34061401261571256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17015612441546224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827039697461843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422266818824288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871782288780928,0.0,0.15475710331120862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368645981644797,0.0,0.0,0.12714179195362715,0.2644943053137534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161915589226074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18822102837696192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3447465997198117,0.0,0.0,0.17151499876850432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13635871052506535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452847857429999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12136635545178034,0.0,0.1369350430041056,0.0,0.0,0.17925620733609046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14809381381501135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,shortroundcdn,2020/02/28,I shouldn't be alive because the amount of drugs I have taken I'm 21 I'm not a big guy about 120lb I remember the first time I tried cocaine fresh into high school me and my friends were the kids who were careless once we started selling drugs it was some of the best times I had I never sold my own stuff I just helped the others in return the drugs were always around to do for days nose stuffed clearing it with more rips once the glory days slowly came to an end I didn't have anyone to stop me from doing other things I tried almost everything a year or two passed I was at home smoking meth playing fortnite all day all night for two months then I almost died the seat of the car stopped me from flying through the windshield I had a job on the rail road nothing to crazy I loved it but with out a license I got let go I wanted to go get it but it's hard to get a day off with only 3 guys it wasnt possible after I lost my job I got depressed and I don't show it or try and get help meth was my escape I left the city and moved to the reservation I am from and meth is more common then smoking weed and again I'd had so much access to it my mom is the plug she has so much respect around the rez and not because she sells but just how she is as a person she has so much on her plate from having almost nothing we have one of the nicest houses all done by her I got a puppy but I don't spend enough time with her because I just wanna get high so she runs out with the mutts and learned to dig in garbage I have to stop that but idk what to do so I smoke up for days I love a cigarette after hitting the pipe the taste is amazing but I can notice my teeth being getting smaller and it bugs me but at the same time I like it I am going to try doing acid and seeing if I can convince my self get clean I don't steel or anything like most people do but I'll end up like that and it freaks me out moral of the story don't do drugs you wouldn't want your best friends know about they will notice my own family don't trust each other the only thing they want is your drugs if you have someone to talk to do it don't be a closet addict it only goes down hill any questions I'll explain the best I can I am Canadian and my life shounld be better eh speak up it could save your life I wrote this and could keep going because of the stuff I do,1.3114752791068582,2.7739430214424985,2.689209197235513,96.54839114832536,78.82456140350877,5.209445330497962,19.84622541201489,5.4076975052450775,-0.3788748538011695,1842,42,436,7,44,597,242,513,0.055,0.7929999999999999,0.152,0.9956,2,0,11,0,0,0,0.0,2,5,2,6,14,22,0,0,34,0,55,13,2,1,5,77,86,35,1,10,18,1,1,3,2,3,8,1,3,5,26,28,1,4,5,2,4,9,13,4,0,4,20,6,66,18,57,55,19,58,1,2,1,2,35,22,0,11,30,301,92,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07457076227137525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20549101693409305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0569178408808644,0.0,0.0,0.046517256220212085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04782986319611137,0.0,0.056290894184005895,0.12178862385906675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16679445722274133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21535821559047166,0.06049802702397568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07823627344314006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10923050326903193,0.0,0.0,0.220575508927544,0.0,0.058916506304379175,0.0,0.0709928432068195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07000132810566634,0.0,0.0,0.3966362405644874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12117177758622567,0.07067990706556676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06147735631228572,0.0,0.06448546754959561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058184645795646577,0.0,0.0,0.1056979544001285,0.0,0.2144304787385972,0.0,0.15550291526465912,0.0,0.16412745518284866,0.0,0.0,0.13546198381157795,0.0,0.0,0.061276799091256474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09169989423838082,0.1445457553784272,0.06861507038690079,0.0,0.0,0.07892935521887336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576138629418733,0.06080086723053664,0.0,0.0,0.03759320347265377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432145058791037,0.06994801103852383,0.09663193212342393,0.10025662821941657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467135233561828,0.0,0.12347506712778215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801142662359498,0.05459964384249394,0.07270292437181065,0.15085504993791402,0.0,0.052757597882045724,0.0,0.0,0.06419278313674003,0.0,0.13127150345529548,0.15575745278143704,0.0,0.1456966518822855,0.04635251058169525,0.15607361252607066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04742291499009461,0.059727978996473766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07711554799601418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766284488814176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07748871485159782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06922878349485127,0.054509354989138434,0.0,0.07136058267007167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0579587246350426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0484169016020135,0.0,0.0,0.17156712356984474,0.0,0.0,0.15661307050172651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05498076931844487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09088952850950187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595483435142043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18576806432964968,0.0,0.1336420844537727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210398502711324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044050113727793126
addiction,vegetablewizard,2020/02/28,I think I'm an alcoholic Dating apps are designed to addict you. Games are designed to addict you. Food is designed to addict you. Advertisement is designed to addict you. The very water you drink contains small traces of addictive drugs. And people question why there is an addiction epidemic.,4.892352941176473,8.272935392156864,5.0779411764705875,73.79573529411766,77.43137254901961,7.321568627450981,30.068627450980397,8.344100000000001,3.1248274509803933,239,11,33,5,6,75,33,51,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,3,0,0,0,6.0,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,5,11,0,0,0,4,7,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,5,7,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,1,1,21,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9129304695572602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14916099849087078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367283199936194,0.16186026905300036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687721219204351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676228486648196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15635360671289658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08943268773891766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151622715076075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259428459252107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,jaynedaylove,2020/02/28,"I'm in denial..did I just lose my best friend to heroin I love him and I hope he is still there, but he has been on heroin for over a year now from what I was told. I noticed after my pregnancy he seemed different. Cold, angry, distant, secretive. I would message him and he would start blowing up so pissed off. Blaming me for things and name calling. I tried to tell myself to give it time he would come around but its only gotten worse. He has me blocked and had made threats. He even told me he moved away to another county. I had been hearing things from mutual friends I know they still hide a lot from me. But what is it, how  bad? Then I heard someone say the term black..heroin. and really going for it. I'm devastated. I guess I want to know if I'll ever talk with my best friend again? And what makes a person choose this? I feel loss. Like I'm grieving his loss already. Will I ever stand near him again or is he probably lost due to this?. I guess I'm in denial.someone please give an answer",0.5450243902439027,2.9057427219512206,1.9982439024390253,95.34126829268291,87.6341463414634,5.0360975609756125,17.956097560975607,6.55674776486733,-0.11674048780487832,778,20,171,9,25,250,124,205,0.251,0.623,0.126,-0.9881,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,1,6,13,16,2,0,5,0,14,2,1,3,2,37,40,14,1,6,6,0,1,1,3,4,0,3,0,1,11,9,0,1,7,0,0,3,0,8,0,0,11,5,28,8,23,25,4,27,0,5,0,1,32,9,1,7,15,108,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13472437024861275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12801727747045274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10868196664988178,0.0,0.0,0.11470333341601545,0.0,0.10193628174958347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25624237210273976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12466293173653722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10516583646940947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12755334886664388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063631244628874,0.22086662420908693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06173009025478717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829688321719292,0.0,0.0,0.23423104648505774,0.06938399546377214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26898185493408705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13759921623734025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12125843506620278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13418998118593192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0596448019489961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13658243118406208,0.13327073033738154,0.10379271484090972,0.11018691814107803,0.1155202392709634,0.08149301027707836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12975755126471547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389951356068504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928515138989981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660033779298413,0.0,0.1340132026411464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13162880334644378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821108885726856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09708727905196014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111420417389337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20688527313173802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641273574598975,0.0,0.1949952545156688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981276895675707,0.1067080963745989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16221634489809164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07118902898894906,0.0,0.0,0.2333158285016663,0.0,0.08288803146117918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07200918308920012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244155408426642,0.2601780805101636,0.0,0.0,0.07861905060406188
addiction,simpleman0873,2020/02/28,"Doctors and addiction I hate how once doctors know that your an addict, they treat you entirely different. I'm as honest I can be with them. Do I still lie some? Yes but for the most part I tell them just about everything about my recent and previous addiction problems. You'd think this would be a clear sign to them that your wanting help but no they go and and start making assumptions about your intentions based on your addictive tendencies. 

Overheard one of the nurses or something today say, ""Yeah we think he's abusing Gabapentin prescription, he ran out, and that's why he's here."" NO lady I'm here because something is wrong with my leg and I need to know what and how to fix it! 

Albeit I've been paranoid the last couple days and had extreme anxiety in the waiting room the whole time so might of looked like I was tweaking or something but I wasn't there to get a fix for my high. I can manage that all on my own mostly. Anyways I had already been waiting 2 hours, there was 4-5 other people still in the waiting room waiting to be seen. When I heard her say that though I just walked out. I'm not waiting another hour or two just for you to think I'm lying about my leg.",3.136265822784812,4.9736881434599205,3.8188417721519023,88.78952848101268,74.73839662447256,6.9340928270042195,26.19599156118144,7.734863291789972,1.406868523206751,938,34,190,13,20,297,138,237,0.12300000000000001,0.8,0.077,-0.9238,1,0,3,0,0,0,20.0,1,7,5,0,19,6,1,0,9,2,17,8,2,4,2,48,42,20,0,4,10,0,0,1,0,2,6,3,2,0,9,13,0,5,5,0,0,3,4,3,0,2,10,5,30,3,24,26,7,23,0,0,2,0,22,9,0,7,12,129,39,3,0.0,0.14046179294702876,0.0,0.516945890821952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13082234054702604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12430950568362475,0.09069005644845377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226668556721981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117278633134233,0.0,0.07645463146876302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238590138707108,0.0,0.2426809091899398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10654466226514744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06193722997376205,0.0,0.06737442280357123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11704310520723643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794612427033199,0.12525407412141332,0.0,0.0,0.23349478962792994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13030342902557204,0.09663367940404473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0579173061119715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995517372907429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791327235228254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12576230390534765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790296513462974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12625136716279622,0.08033222118371172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12837757495041224,0.0,0.0821873086991982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134358778420484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705334666930155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885506691845228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737956312673183,0.0,0.0,0.08390995869938718,0.0,0.18934759571878948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10361750362820044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278852320965659,0.11647429909309147,0.0,0.06912717703870877,0.0,0.11237108101482697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158056527366647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06992357696847715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697250039923722,0.13235630270745152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421417592219832,0.12961528723588955,0.0,0.0
addiction,JessaBee92,2020/02/28,"Inpatient times Today I found out I'm gonna be stuck in inpatient rehab for addiction and concurrent disorders (BPD) for two more months. I've already been here almost two months but we are doing therapy on trauma and they want to keep me longer. They're also playing with my meds a lot, adding some and taking others away. It's a long time to be in an institution guys and I miss my pets. But I know I wouldn't be clean without it. And I know my mental health would have taken a nose dive again. I'm already relapsing in my eating disorder while monitored so I know it would have been like last time if I wasn't here. My brain is telling me I'm massive and I need to stop eating and work out more and chug water constantly to flush my body out faster. Ugh. Also been craving a lot but I guess I'm in the right place.

I'm having mixed feelings about all this and just need some outside support right now.",2.2656089030206696,4.268760362162162,3.4519554848966614,89.69643879173294,77.81081081081079,6.731319554848965,22.233704292527822,7.724431198458867,0.9159888712241656,717,21,150,11,17,232,113,185,0.111,0.831,0.057999999999999996,-0.862,1,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,1,1,9,6,0,0,6,0,16,9,3,0,1,40,37,17,0,7,6,0,1,1,0,4,3,0,2,1,5,14,3,2,5,1,0,0,3,3,0,2,7,2,19,3,18,23,7,26,0,1,0,0,4,12,0,7,15,95,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13492837074066694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393851277286776,0.0,0.27316816835006896,0.19795882462945066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11628668011243805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13748138482063588,0.15588490832996613,0.13816907405196208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13375219451685508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837039713305459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532967232515449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062582202670041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13570822281072298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363474189861821,0.12255248716969926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315625038599368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001311647024714,0.0,0.0,0.20406347773521333,0.10088966874217403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060468129373860084,0.0,0.0,0.1095332059163775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104509061638332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13748138482063588,0.0,0.12473179001046544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19758524017438694,0.0,0.0,0.18354886388640326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12931407514661306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2113990633753749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10347787681047536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14045356368653528,0.0,0.0,0.0930601894992433,0.0,0.10818107808179553,0.0,0.14154262255989447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21651513330118627,0.0,0.11732018494694064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24181204762413935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07300318647829827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11931057207521867,0.0,0.09010656941207712,0.0,0.0,0.1758463584245998,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Rorschachthepiece,2020/02/28,"""That would never happen to me. I have self-control."" I used to judge my mother and sister while looking down on them like they were less than me. It contributed to a ton of fights in our family in my early 20's. My mom would judge me for not becoming what she wanted me to become and I would judge her for letting herself go and succumbing to her demons. 

I have a hard time accepting that alcohol is a drug. I mean, it's like socially acceptable and everyone does it, but it ruins lives. Somehow it's become apart of my identity. I love shows where the main character is an alcoholic because then it makes me feel normal and even like I'm somehow special. Except when I drink I tend to be more than overly eager to do coke or snort anything that will make my head feel normal. Drinking is a slippery slope. Each day I tell myself it's my last day of drinking except it never is. ""Tomorrow you will go to the gym and get back into your routine."" Ha. 

I've boarded the hot mess express. However, even my looks are deteriorating. I've cut off all my hair, I'm getting chubby and my skin is looking awful. I've let myself go. I know this but I can't stop. I am an addict. I've become what I told my mother I never would be. I have become her. The fucking irony. Yet, I feel so alone like there is no one on this fucking planet who will ever understand my mind or how it works. All these thoughts and this fucking thing in my head that won't seem to go away. Am I a psychopath? Am I a narcissist? Am I borderline? **WHAT THE FUCK AM I?**

Surely, the drinking probably doesn't help but it calms my forever racing mind. ""The opposite of addiction is human connection"" and what if your incapable of connecting to people? Human interaction is just a manipulation dance and I don't like dancing.  

So what am I missing? Am I that fucking stupid that I can't get my own shit together? I must be because who wants to live like this. No one. If I don't drink, I shake. *Fucking great.* Not only am I my mother but I'm my grandfather. The fucking irony.",0.5859548328816615,3.0473193317073215,2.826233062330626,88.32315266485998,89.82926829268294,5.866305329719964,21.495031616982835,7.315561048560121,1.0300424570912377,1586,57,318,29,54,537,200,410,0.13699999999999998,0.754,0.109,-0.9304,1,1,9,0,1,0,60.0,1,3,2,1,14,30,11,1,17,2,41,24,5,5,8,61,79,24,0,11,13,5,7,6,0,9,5,0,0,2,29,12,8,1,10,9,0,7,13,15,0,2,3,11,62,15,32,62,8,35,1,2,3,8,28,12,8,7,22,232,91,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15288205580908426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14987367070930965,0.0,0.07262305682155297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057702693147109574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06587994289567377,0.053917865559325234,0.0,0.08548886567960376,0.3872095357761196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07864541670456411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09044305365488396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06136238643838567,0.0,0.0,0.34345397615139683,0.08131680838290431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09262704929441012,0.06342745305265578,0.0,0.06700255781843058,0.0,0.0,0.06610278980999848,0.0,0.1063641665804198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4537729453226405,0.10990424202176488,0.0,0.15940299284759124,0.0,0.0,0.07730742396416126,0.0,0.0,0.06200678530307256,0.0,0.06281364661648071,0.0,0.1439264691647119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04699988280132111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0385360566010647,0.05715706742226401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14340467230855922,0.0,0.20554221203871276,0.0,0.12383429135835305,0.0,0.17664913709450478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06328593650069937,0.0,0.09361113933766227,0.0,0.0,0.07638111428197591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14160219570913032,0.08212356524676323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16224234092720752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374052045770615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09503010152763468,0.05332933447763917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04861230135854553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560109884896164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06383451243316007,0.07315033566796786,0.0,0.0719770572882937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147839531709352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058623366052313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06608716451905093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06128787269126632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046584537782661584,0.0,0.0,0.055667358531928605,0.04088747052869519,0.0,0.0,0.06700255781843058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299727622349837,0.0,0.06056106955165785,0.0,0.0,0.08271705326426453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051048113521281684,0.0,0.0,0.1992446261295529,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,newaccount99807,2020/02/29,"Addicted to huffing (serious) Just made a throw away account as I don’t want to use my main to make this post. 

I’m going to give a bit of back story, what I do, my reasons why etc

So basically it all started when I was 15, to keep it short my friend showed me that with a can of lynx deodorant if you place your sleeve over your mouth and spray the can into you mouth through the sleeve you can get “high”, I tried it and it did feel nice. I did it on occasion but after a while I sort of stopped.

A few years go by and I remember what it was like, the only thing I had on hand was a can of “Sure anti-perspirant” so I used that, and the feeling is indescribable,

The hallucinations were amazing (but sometimes scary) and it was so unreal. I was hooked. I began buying 1 can every second day and in the morning I would huff, and I created my own world, when I would start huffing I would have YouTube on and I would be “teleported” to another world, it was the strangest yet most wonderful sensation ever. 

Then I started buying more, 2 then 3, and now 4 cans every second day and I can’t get enough of it, the world my brain creates when I’m huffing is so much better than the one I currently live. The last time I huffed was about 4 hours ago and part of the reason I’m not doing it now is because I ran out.

The reason I’m making this post is because of what happened earlier. I was huffing and in my own world when all of the sudden there was a loud bang in my house (one of my siblings) it made me jump and when it happened I got a super sharp pain in my chest and it lasted for about 5 minutes. Stupidly I continued huffing after that.

I read online that when you are huffing and you get a sudden shock there is a high chance you could flat out die. And that’s why I’m posting this,

I can’t stop, the world I created is too good to leave. But I know I need to stop. But I don’t know where to begin. It’s taking a lot to not ask for money and go to the shop to buy more. 

I ask that you do not judge me for what I do. And keep the comments serious.",2.9266207951070338,3.4980627018348613,4.476165137614679,88.85614373088688,73.35779816513761,7.648195718654435,25.313149847094802,7.793537801064563,1.1107302140672783,1582,47,364,20,30,532,201,436,0.066,0.8140000000000001,0.12,0.9731,2,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,9,0,2,22,13,1,0,27,0,41,7,5,9,4,65,80,37,1,8,9,0,4,1,1,4,2,1,0,0,28,22,0,5,9,3,6,6,7,5,0,4,18,5,53,8,45,56,15,67,0,0,0,0,14,22,0,5,37,261,81,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10202441634751512,0.0,0.0,0.08295985684060142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813487244209944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17498374810171255,0.0,0.08792873287015755,0.07196317102464132,0.0,0.11410039692381525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827707228583153,0.10217353869594216,0.0,0.0,0.1044748340178346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472216994921435,0.0,0.0,0.1207126593502838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971292658464176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670112046888793,0.1043750337893089,0.0,0.08465544035053603,0.15770336165971727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09464151484382292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07230563144544146,0.0,0.1466871450288326,0.08977785781335644,0.15956415443842056,0.0784969296648216,0.07485063990046235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16551860312584193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197761104738708,0.0,0.0,0.09216504108040308,0.1079876503016836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16637011084971598,0.0,0.0,0.10286671414121101,0.15257294685189746,0.0,0.09909587032055148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04572222708337149,0.0,0.08263966122630716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795649230525372,0.0,0.1771099053087323,0.12494104431036065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879773409932845,0.0693941000193805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683490671932654,0.07117766955040195,0.09958392028554212,0.0,0.0,0.10134636826767092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09777923627129016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688934641799837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09361303467947513,0.0,0.0,0.28867125409718297,0.0,0.0,0.10601662991566327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925606367542548,0.0,0.1987255853436537,0.0,0.0,0.2347305446997492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08820530771169477,0.0,0.07036630967031954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06217551501308901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05457174544834295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06353991082412272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16165946334748396,0.0,0.0,0.05520045525690437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16889670059840708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10149187770169957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659280918701333,0.0,0.0,0.06026741589102541
addiction,Deedot30,2020/02/29,"Why Why can I not go longer than 4 days without relapsing into a 3 day cocaine and ketamine binge

Why did nearly everyone else leave drugs behind after the party phase 18-23 years old

Why am I still battling this at 28 years old

Why do I spend all my cash on it

Why do I hate myself so much as soon as I start the first line

Why can normal people go so long without any drugs but it’s on my mind constantly

Is there something wrong with me there must be I must be a delinquent 

SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED",3.012591743119266,4.036636073394497,3.905401376146792,91.33039564220186,73.58715596330275,6.55091743119266,22.799311926605505,6.6274283507984215,0.42557706422018304,408,10,90,3,8,131,77,109,0.251,0.733,0.015,-0.9839,0,0,4,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,1,6,3,2,0,4,0,12,6,0,0,3,14,16,8,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,2,2,3,3,0,1,1,0,10,0,14,10,2,20,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,13,57,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07797073114853313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390354695321827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14788863404258618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26593157197763506,0.0,0.09578125942583314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10955973236969556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752723490027684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13032449658591005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11320010717907232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12140526917265004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014678882183586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11577094345334173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428613018664986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233957277019922,0.0,0.0,0.24062658980285825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07948876729676449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08826860482937687,0.0,0.0,0.08115485573749874,0.0,0.0915652745692081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635628427054117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7242211271032505,0.0,0.0,0.221050624590302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253594936768799,0.0,0.14767077225159722
addiction,Ruitenshi,2020/02/29,"Drug addict brother So I am a 14 year old girl and my brother, 21 is a drug addict who abuses drugs like pregabalin (opiates I think???). He is such a wonderful, sweet person but after he started doing drugs it was like he completely changed. The only thing he seemed to care about was drugs and he even stopped going to college. My mother and I went through so much and we tried to do everything to get him back but nothing worked. He would promise us that it was the last time he was gonna take drugs and that he would quit. But, he always went back and when questioned he'd get angry. So as a last resort my mother put him in rehab (it was forced) and he came back. When he came back he was so angry and he immediately took drugs again. This continued and my mom put him there again. This left us very financially weak. He came back and he acted very sweet and obidient and we thought he was not going to do it again but of course, he did. I'm so sorry for this big passage but if anyone can, I beg for your help, please tell me what I can do because I can't bear to see my mom cry every single day and my family break down. Thank u and sorry if my English isn't good, it isn't my first language.",2.4514919354838725,3.8862753588709684,3.6629354838709713,90.88690322580648,75.65322580645163,6.411612903225808,22.07741935483871,6.961326702584282,0.4526348387096779,931,24,205,9,20,303,132,248,0.115,0.773,0.111,-0.271,0,0,7,0,1,0,27.0,4,1,0,3,19,9,0,0,6,0,23,11,0,0,0,35,44,29,0,4,8,6,0,2,0,3,11,0,0,2,13,19,0,1,5,0,0,11,4,1,0,1,15,3,24,8,15,25,2,37,0,0,1,0,38,4,0,5,23,123,37,2,0.0,0.0926839785607116,0.0,0.1705538597248956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06508956830903431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054696824396965375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.300751452830886,0.0,0.047685308547156566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684061017975257,0.07975572570361983,0.0,0.08275180720328904,0.0,0.08201755252646398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592662377223015,0.05044873253604465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6350141499453196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05166695557723885,0.0,0.06590803943205059,0.0,0.07030369601550833,0.0,0.07374368352789272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06653824914019099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173879564762394,0.0,0.08891427950120874,0.06561152129156507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05243265062051019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12752783062515527,0.0,0.0,0.08499182435598465,0.0,0.0,0.07643368698846853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18323263581300564,0.0,0.0,0.05750446565163474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505911467256386,0.0,0.08208410706213755,0.0,0.0,0.05949373053355327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06830315958380928,0.0,0.08586769381642648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572757078433764,0.08763003973257227,0.08320204657812888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062335294700887875,0.07121321349006461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17513324025201035,0.05536814424729088,0.0,0.0,0.06539970500379216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0588155567976574,0.0,0.06837220487718211,0.07201918281636421,0.0,0.0,0.05196929541721312,0.050123499832931344,0.0,0.06210200934350514,0.045613697933034436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08691098924634874,0.05310972326818777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18819038125010326,0.0,0.0,0.12908783673197513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14503094431153446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483180836727973,0.05694882075370342,0.0,0.0,0.11113776510918633,0.0,0.0,0.05037441410518904
addiction,United-Oil,2020/02/29,"[LONG][TW: Stims] Slippery slope of stims, need advice/help TL;DR: slippery slope of stimulant binges has fucked my self control and moderate use of stimulants to treat my ADHD. Need help reclaiming my discipline.

So I got BAD ADHD and have been unmedicated up until I got Vyvanse in August. Before that I had fucked with Adderall, Vyvanse, and 2FMA (fuckkkk that). It was really effective and I got good grades in some really hard classes!!! However with this Dr Jekyll comes a Mr Hyde which is really fuckin tricky to deal with. Might be kinda long for obvious reasons.

So I really like fucking stimulants. Probably because they enable me to achieve my potential, make me feel smart and on top of it, you know the drill. I self medicated 2FMA last year cuz it’s cheap and I didn’t have time to go through the long ass ADHD diagnosis process till summer. I fiended like a motherfucker every time I took it because I was so scared of losing the euphoria so I would redose a few times more than I probably should have. However I never pulled all nighters and only ever took it orally. 

2FMA runs out, summer comes, get diagnosed and on Vyvanse, of which I immediately popped two of upon picking up my first prescription. Chasing that god damn dragon. Spoiler: didn’t catch the dragon because that mother fucker will always outrun me. 

So that day passes and I take it as intended for a while, always getting a tiny touch of euphoria followed by some anxiety and then a flatline of focus. I wish it just didn’t have any euphoria because that is the source of my fucking problems. Anyways eventually I get hungover and decide to take 3, fixes the hangover and gets me social and productive at work. Go home for lunch and pop 3 more cuz fuck it why not. Speed even harder And yet am still unsatisfied, you see where this is goin?

So I go back to taking it like I’m supposed to, doing good as fuck in school, etc, then my doc ups my dose, gives me an early refill. Awesome! Now I have extra and of course I immediately take all of the extra over the course of the day. Every time saying it would be my last one or some other bullshit fake rationalization. 

Up dose again (to my current dose), early refill again, binge again. Keep in mind I would tell no one that I’m doing this shit. Every time my total would be a little higher than before. Fight with girlfriend more and more as my brain is gradually being rewired to always be seeking a high of some sort. Binge at her house, binge at my hometown house. But now it’s to the point that I don’t want it to end so badly that I keep going through the night, like 3 all nighters a month. Not good for the body or the mind. Start feeling an urge to binge every time it kicks in.

Suffer some shitty comedowns, especially on Christmas Day after I wasted Christmas Eve. Stopped for a bit then. I have no problem completely abstaining from it provided I don’t have anything to do that requires intense focus. Went through hella withdrawal, slept 12 hours a day, etc. But they passed and I felt free and refreshed. If only I never had to have school work bullshit I could just banish Vyvanse to the shadow realm. 

However, I take it again when school starts, immediately binge. Feel like shit again day after; the usual. 

Back to the grind, back to prescription doses. However I cave and binge out of fucking nowhere just because i felt like it. All nighter on a Tuesday. Girlfriends family invites me to dinner. Look like shit, feel like shit. Do this two more times, always finding some justification for it, always regretting it after. After the third impulse binge I was just so fuckin sick of it that I made new rules for Vyvanse (which I broke today) where basically I only take it on weds thurs fri sun, as to keep it perfectly balanced, as all things should be. I did damn good however today I took some for my test and ended up blowing through the rest of my stash. And here I am disappointed in myself, finally telling somebody and asking for help.

Honestly, this shit hasn’t fucked anyone over, made my life go to shit, or gotten me in trouble, but it is pretty damn close with the way it’s been going recently. I think the biggest thing is self control and rewiring my brain to not automatically associate “good thing” -> “more good thing”, and instead keep a balance. I just need advice from people who are not me. Thanks boys.",4.150063833792547,6.3449408687727855,4.81697397018808,81.17310115859192,72.87606318347507,7.3583694145431515,27.022898019954482,8.202624651991572,1.9257194359351737,3457,127,618,56,71,1108,362,823,0.11800000000000001,0.7959999999999999,0.085,-0.9752,7,0,0,0,1,1,110.0,0,2,2,12,33,53,21,1,35,0,51,33,11,16,11,123,117,54,0,16,16,1,8,8,2,8,9,1,1,5,48,35,2,10,13,0,2,18,14,33,0,6,24,11,72,21,97,78,26,119,0,5,2,12,25,33,21,14,75,413,120,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664374373454917,0.04511010431640927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19205723006413666,0.0,0.0,0.03139253085350691,0.0,0.03531468997864343,0.0,0.0,0.032278353843460963,0.0,0.03798834617582355,0.0,0.04315632172725595,0.0,0.0,0.1064898584563775,0.0770886183973727,0.14070316507306493,0.0,0.07856289579099758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0503982130433193,0.05127686247090545,0.0,0.1030667041525374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953094714545966,0.048401193506413684,0.0,0.10355181541693888,0.03685752581562665,0.0,0.0,0.14885709158673902,0.04759218950418189,0.0,0.04685463425714058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817737131451242,0.0,0.10296824904873644,0.030490330883432813,0.041757219848858655,0.15557780850140446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0435185175168156,0.0,0.09336592015347092,0.0659579394623823,0.08864774322142198,0.05056948381432532,0.04219229064876598,0.039266359126885725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34141677013617866,0.09647338022785587,0.0442839081664308,0.15741352119350646,0.2323168034494971,0.11076268506344973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04135312274158984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09282657640577514,0.048773911599380784,0.0463054119946224,0.0,0.04546141236567453,0.1065321740915265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16412774574827635,0.0,0.0,0.02537006469837025,0.07525827115542927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03260640412944739,0.1804239000252457,0.046267612419039664,0.0,0.12255882808641352,0.03876542673954728,0.05164476640024492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873613937009123,0.030814266831586362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046504525683857136,0.0,0.04897181617635892,0.09322326110743437,0.0,0.036846992776225385,0.0,0.0,0.1026881915228716,0.07120774756914415,0.044584666241481975,0.0,0.04332099717259296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06256270196525962,0.10532748693191556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03200372169291702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0436391061331535,0.0,0.0,0.04696452825629753,0.09954338550629233,0.08834381662832247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11829320591018355,0.04746341550906789,0.04558054995740977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03671079657614828,0.046217374991657324,0.14015874312478702,0.03678606064382977,0.0,0.1444747267071877,0.0,0.28431491355322464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0470575267340729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06534904252207364,0.0,0.03686595809327325,0.03859446764312496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082537011695644,0.0,0.08069727068856065,0.042500834227452544,0.0,0.0,0.12267500535663475,0.029579488047386113,0.0,0.0,0.18842676311772155,0.0,0.08751455328201638,0.0,0.1538669033188617,0.0,0.0,0.09018939637542768,0.0,0.0,0.039870147291760284,0.0508421973213978,0.0,0.0272282269913802,0.036642166582421934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04279371051565762,0.04165507042094009,0.0,0.05308535417431271,0.0,0.0,0.0672146585298966,0.0,0.0,0.13117193354884402,0.0,0.0,0.029727560622962505
addiction,Spun1oneR,2020/02/29,NOS Having a real problem trying to kick this shit. It was fun at one time but now I have a TRUE issue. I’ve convinced myself I have to stop. Finally started getting pins and needles in my feet taking Advil every day. If anyone has any medical or life advice or just good words hit me with them I need it.,0.3755952380952401,2.748182492063492,2.6526785714285737,90.07044642857146,89.15873015873017,4.419841269841268,18.98611111111111,5.985473137389443,0.05757301587301589,239,7,47,2,8,81,55,63,0.102,0.698,0.2,0.8432,0,0,0,0,1,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,2,6,1,0,2,0,5,5,2,0,1,13,10,5,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,7,4,5,8,0,8,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,3,6,30,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552902582360309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17765880681767998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18267191825432372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16848449334052887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201142045113364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2861863606270976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13649222565815025,0.0,0.0,0.219123917815228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27267689209047197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845284433830722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26318166519196895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19371339916652774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17702960991430375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24998075378421375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29735944078154586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681691415602822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18491393661961605,0.0,0.0,0.2184165113427028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19642731917029332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15233684573035228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17737144951863798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,---maybetrans---,2020/02/29,"Sugar addiction Sounds stupid, but I’m 99% sure I have it. I’m depressed, and I use sugar to cope. Nothing fancy - a soda if I’m out or a glass of sugar water if I’m at home. I know it’s not a serious hazard now, but I know it can be if it goes on too long. What should I do?",-1.1587179487179498,0.012207923076925198,2.7950000000000017,94.31916666666667,85.15384615384616,5.564102564102565,16.98717948717949,6.42735559955562,-0.3867435897435901,205,4,54,2,6,78,43,65,0.113,0.8140000000000001,0.073,-0.5215,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,3,0,5,6,0,1,1,14,12,7,0,4,7,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,5,2,5,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,5,1,5,10,0,5,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,4,2,33,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3985270729019723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3148663375284793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3666981847220706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4018172507461661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32351941774589565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3507758700192461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3445469658657413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3157365415124258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Maysor,2020/03/01,"Do I have an addiction? ""rockstar lifestyle"" So I'm 21 and currently studying two bachelor degrees psychology and philosophy, but I mainly work for a company with 5 meter puppets with whom we get booked all around the globe and do shows.
(about 7 days at home in a month) 

Even before this ""rockstar lifestyle"" started, I daily smoked weed for two years and take atleast every 7 days one or two lsd trips for about 1 year now.
I guess that's not too bad, but since this constant traveling started alcohol, mdma and cocaine joined.

Because nearly every show is a party and has also an aftershowparty we or me can basicly party on every occasion with free booze and rich people wanting to give you cocaine because they liked our show.

I've gone along with that and this means I sometimes drink and snort every day and take mdma maybe every week for two or three tablets.
Along with the over consumption which was there before

Idk it just doesn't feel right and I started worrying about my health and how long I can do this, because I feel quite good actually.
I follow a vegan diet and do alot of exercise buy ye, it seems weird and worrying to me...

I'm obsessed with the 60s/70s and kinda got the self-destructive attitude of this time, also celebrate it actually.
I hardly can keep up with university and basically shit on all of my friends and girlfriend with assholish behavior, like I care about no one, only me
And just having sex with lots of strangers 

I just chase a high, party or big moment every day

Feels so weird writing this, but I tried lookin on it as objectively as possible

What do you think?",6.914785478547858,7.319321221122112,7.019884488448849,74.71550330033004,64.51155115511551,10.033663366336636,33.99504950495049,9.861636050157227,3.301348514851485,1282,52,228,25,18,412,181,303,0.067,0.7829999999999999,0.15,0.9864,1,0,6,0,0,0,31.0,3,3,1,2,17,12,1,1,12,0,14,9,1,1,2,59,36,32,0,1,11,0,4,2,2,0,4,0,1,0,15,32,4,1,6,7,3,4,3,5,0,7,3,5,25,8,36,33,5,34,0,0,0,1,12,13,1,9,19,152,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.18588276578703652,0.10382664261327544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10178356095176602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15232823181753072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847845961246921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07952217598742413,0.1741739118568901,0.0,0.16208598766082682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971044483232346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10292158144808387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456900140172227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093299826581376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06290571834946189,0.0,0.4814674121001542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14446998703621494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358288558536709,0.0,0.049759441017837115,0.0913637528297396,0.0,0.07988355096086126,0.07617285074044494,0.0,0.10491859246955344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853171420801682,0.0,0.0,0.10123662647514904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10062724335796927,0.09553439141495992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465449085191062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305978903517356,0.0,0.0,0.08428520230800067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097041008487711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09568228854868947,0.10374526445224896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602038031228238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12907540177421833,0.07243499863094675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06602805035622296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736980819066254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013004240266926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133521097665232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08670374130848887,0.09935703334502052,0.0,0.09776341852387456,0.07878425934970174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09419568860464532,0.0,0.2022360045394372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432186127146274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06102652513493001,0.0,0.0,0.0555357365843509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0646623215206098,0.0,0.3721460936708523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05617555233569636,0.0,0.07639650773372446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06933651186997045,0.19344352068057305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266403817747562
addiction,koalahugs1991,2020/03/01,"Adult child living with a drug addicted parent Hello! I want to say first that I don’t entirely know what I want from this post. I guess I’m just hoping to get this off my chest and see if anyone else is dealing with or has dealt with something similar. I have looked online and, unfortunately, haven’t found much about how adult children can help drug addicted parents — it’s often the other way around.

Anyway, I (28F) am my mother’s (59F) only child. Her parents and siblings have all died, making me her closest and, honestly, only living relative. My father is currently in an assisted living facility, having had several medical issues in the past few years. I bought a house two years ago and I live in it with my mother.

I have known for several years my mother abuses drugs. I believe I first saw her doing cocaine when I was in elementary school. Since then, I have caught her smoking meth or have found drug paraphernalia several times. She has always been relatively secretive about it. If I do catch her, she denies, denies, denies. We did have a bit of a breakthrough shortly after we moved into this new house. She finally admitted to being a drug addict. She said she used to do cocaine and meth in the past, but was no longer using. I’ve found evidence to suggest otherwise since then.

Today, I walked in on her friend with a pipe in her hand in my living room. My mother was in the same room. I didn’t see anything on her. I freaked out and asked the friend and this random dude with her to leave. My mom denied seeing them using drugs.

Again, I’m not sure what I want from posting this. I am just frustrated. I don’t know what kind of support I can give my mother. She keeps denying currently using. I want to trust her. Am I being paranoid? I love my mother dearly and she is such a kind, giving person. I just want to help her. (I also don’t want drugs in my house)

Any guidance would be much appreciated.",2.9658636537725016,5.2260598337801625,4.289073918039065,83.29360321715818,76.66756032171583,6.9438222903102265,22.98958253542704,7.957251820313856,1.3310834009957864,1510,46,282,25,35,497,188,373,0.091,0.764,0.145,0.9683,5,0,12,0,1,0,52.0,2,0,1,2,13,13,1,0,13,0,35,14,2,6,2,58,71,19,1,10,9,11,1,0,2,1,11,2,2,6,13,20,0,1,8,0,1,4,7,2,0,3,14,8,59,11,38,53,6,46,0,0,5,1,53,20,0,8,19,194,72,1,0.0,0.0761823915554823,0.0,0.210282312940684,0.0,0.0,0.05699612962662009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051418935940596086,0.05350092924472418,0.0,0.0,0.04372471610273205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04495852419975229,0.06588070536689851,0.0529116196302037,0.057238683399240216,0.0601097733842518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244161438583765,0.0,0.0,0.07019655623458505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06628821946495947,0.0,0.0,0.06673097613171734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5219553299896093,0.0,0.053712570276897714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07043510870663264,0.0,0.1093833697718068,0.0,0.2114976918572363,0.09935265800945957,0.0,0.03359295226640426,0.12336063769642433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07083128742191065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08619493426788953,0.0,0.0,0.06386223389388082,0.0,0.22257312207619254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711020921505302,0.0,0.057150848404940564,0.0,0.13391255074083336,0.07067279039213001,0.0,0.0,0.06808209759938565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838807239388449,0.0,0.05399396712223381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05803128445892936,0.0,0.04291928788450748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06477327974949527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07530481871851097,0.0,0.06833839710895412,0.0945325780462048,0.0,0.0,0.06209922618348194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780276472777068,0.0,0.0,0.21418532875664165,0.0,0.12275907141425595,0.0,0.05614236817080377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231590580779356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061161941971437976,0.05113219974801475,0.0,0.06507281706642486,0.15371109124924132,0.0,0.0,0.21791467314535354,0.0,0.10637562679732786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049499595939358536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07296439355350634,0.060599925597162124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03749257045490004,0.0,0.06094680634336485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06280961816036268,0.0,0.0,0.22213065642161586,0.0,0.0,0.2275470876944311,0.0510366092712284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04567531988607508,0.0,0.0,0.12421704590159725
addiction,averageperson666,2020/03/01,"Fuck Nicotine lol That’s all I have to say, thank u for ruining my economy🥰🥰🥰
Me omw to the store to buy cigs tomorrow:🤡🤡🤡",-3.592258064516128,-2.1747024838709663,1.2925161290322578,96.83877419354843,106.09677419354836,6.3509677419354835,19.103225806451608,7.554174236665415,0.8597045161290322,97,4,27,3,5,38,25,31,0.191,0.625,0.184,-0.0516,1,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,1,4,3,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,11,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6050392733193852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5204541926759879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6025403812750942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,flowerrrpowerrr,2020/03/01,"Crystal Meth This stupid thing I wish I never even tried it. But my stupid ass wanted to get High. And I’m in the same stop I was 7 years later. I am thankful my obsession for alcohol has been lifted but YOU!!!! Get the hell away from me!!! I can’t stand the person I am because of you. I don’t recognize who I am. I don’t want this relationship anymore with you. I don’t even understand what I get out of being high, I get nothing out of it. It’s a stupid lie I believe. You’re TRASH!!!",-1.0380000000000005,1.0296988666666709,1.7197619047619064,96.09107142857144,93.66666666666666,4.904761904761905,17.976190476190478,6.5431188927421005,-0.08138095238095255,371,11,88,5,14,128,65,105,0.21899999999999997,0.7240000000000001,0.055999999999999994,-0.955,0,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,0,3,0,0,2,6,4,1,4,0,11,2,1,0,1,13,21,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,8,4,1,1,1,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,2,0,19,1,11,18,1,11,1,0,0,1,6,6,2,0,4,60,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123888304100664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19709316093856416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867194411516468,0.0,0.0,0.12114789815210995,0.0,0.0,0.223907928880016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262527107941893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4153263800485549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4199519514613208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532778055431116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906929881925139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735290065816311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213368577256688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16615257492026636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18296982636081405,0.0,0.0,0.13203166971259692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13492900730669213,0.0,0.0,0.20689165811251892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344398200780577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22853711490920306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12797976096668362
addiction,addictwhoisnot,2020/03/01,"Clean for 5 years, relapsed I (38F) was clean off meth for about 5 years. In December I found out my partner (34M) of 13 years had relapsed last April and lied to me for 8 months!  To say I freaked out is an understatement. I knew during that time frame something was off, I even asked him if he was using again and he denied it! I was going crazy trying to figure out how to get him out of his ""depression"" that he blamed his odd behavior on. Back and forth for 2 months about his use, him saying he would stop, he would stop for a week or so, me finding out he was doing it again. I had to get an increase in my antidepressant and started counseling because I was wrecked over the deceit and lies. Finally last Saturday I found his stash again. I freaked out then told him he must want me to do it too. So I proceeded to get spun. Now for the last 1 week I have been on a bender. I broke down last night and said this is not what I want and it has to stop. He once again has said he was going to stop.

My problem is, I am so scared to believe him. I know I don't want this life. He doesn't either, but how the hell do I get past this and if he is high how do I not get high too? How can we do this together? 

We have a family, a house, pets, the whole ""American Dream"". I don't want to give up on us, but I don't want to be an active addict. I want my control and simple family life back!",1.4846085011185686,2.672040922818791,3.19075503355705,94.30188199105149,77.69127516778524,6.7116331096196875,20.80592841163311,7.333567415737692,0.2912344519015657,1057,25,259,13,24,352,140,298,0.126,0.816,0.057999999999999996,-0.9566,0,0,2,0,0,0,39.0,3,0,0,1,19,7,1,1,11,0,33,3,0,7,1,52,58,22,0,12,8,0,0,0,1,3,3,4,3,1,11,17,0,5,6,1,0,3,6,7,0,0,16,4,41,0,38,38,3,52,1,2,0,0,31,18,1,3,31,170,52,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086224812170364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09315009863287413,0.0,0.0,0.1532342643611284,0.0,0.06073971636111877,0.0,0.0,0.112260338797639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117549113738424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581992331165167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06581138557383084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878637491242741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10915092428145756,0.09106930058400377,0.0,0.0,0.2185005837147083,0.0,0.0,0.2602893540274773,0.0955839202335666,0.11325559762323675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105505981212493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497136603665767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05475962580664195,0.32488011491676155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14075758262795313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15906364926659075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09350553981418007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611351788838824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511780669359376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09534217587565512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18956121796693365,0.15847570808148312,0.09975718195432846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670786270584536,0.0,0.0,0.07052581768861166,0.0,0.0,0.3332145394930485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05810097824772214,0.0,0.0,0.0952104423192014,0.0,0.06764912770014134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11985484342329668,0.17211421196673127,0.0,0.0,0.3526220857108185,0.0,0.1598506513836289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11124467964673897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415630208844092,0.0,0.0,0.192494987523102
addiction,Sobering-Thought,2020/03/01,"A Sobering Thought Podcast Hi, I've just started a new Podcast called ""A Sobering Thought"" and I'm just letting people know about it. Here's a link to the first episode where we discuss alcohol addiction, the big book, meetings, the 12 step program and specifically step one. I hope you enjoy it and can get something out of it - Thanks

[A Sobering Thought - EP01 - Paul - The Big Book and Step One](https://shows.acast.com/sobering-thought/episodes/ep01-paul-the-big-book-and-step-one)",7.3257142857142865,9.245130619047623,5.181904761904762,82.84642857142858,64.23809523809524,7.504761904761906,41.38095238095238,7.793537801064563,3.4081809523809525,388,23,65,4,6,109,52,84,0.07200000000000001,0.809,0.11900000000000001,0.6808,0,0,2,0,0,0,32.0,1,1,0,1,5,3,0,0,9,0,2,2,0,0,0,14,11,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,6,1,0,5,2,0,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,3,3,4,7,0,10,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,1,3,31,6,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23252916990684566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22795350348014426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178037905942158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814334060170794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144077496566264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118556529278296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117224447375548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21811434465738708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060070765967228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2890760528754106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478757990575418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16420924508876866,0.0,0.0,0.15097528302053112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963785612905018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.677347493887741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,velentr92,2020/03/01,Helping a friend?? My best friend of 8 years has struggled a lot with addiction. She was a cocaine addict and abused LSD as well as alcohol for 2.5 years. She was 2 years sober from the cocaine and LSD though continued sporadic periods of heavy drinking. She now spends almost all her nights out drinking and doing MDMA and Ketamine. I told her I was concerned with how depressed and distant she’s seemed. She doesn’t see any problem and lashed out. I’m really worried about her but I don’t know what to say about her drug use. She didn’t seem to hear at all that I was concerned and basically just said any emotional distance is all in my head and I’m just trying to cop out of coming to visit her. This is very similar behaviour to when she was on cocaine - she even admitted to trying some again recently but claimed it wasn’t any good so she didn’t buy any more. All of her current friends are into the same things. Advice?,2.9467791706846675,5.162836863387977,3.632279009964641,88.1940694310511,76.54098360655738,6.71025393764063,26.611700417872072,7.724431198458867,1.5523451623272255,738,29,145,11,17,233,112,183,0.052000000000000005,0.828,0.12,0.9079999999999999,1,0,7,0,1,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,12,9,0,1,5,0,15,7,1,2,4,34,27,16,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,0,4,3,0,0,5,15,3,0,4,2,2,2,5,3,1,0,10,4,21,6,25,17,9,20,0,1,1,0,25,7,0,5,11,100,26,0,0.0,0.15704020821493925,0.0,0.2889799732271389,0.0,0.12951818812103094,0.0,0.1416467391147412,0.13272133913094075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3605315286491823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390943078313955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417291458227052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11415794807431875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25968075928264056,0.15370626058792025,0.0,0.0,0.149091541634556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754252447597251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30720410153736616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111696662673691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360259939787639,0.0,0.14938409743570058,0.0,0.08883988903554105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728414367920442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126821899927564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12438138076638272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12682448017787828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490958915241187,0.0,0.13086891137816292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260774820258771,0.10540245758848524,0.0,0.0,0.10561855253715463,0.24132192095765825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13856133369449766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08805479760190581,0.0,0.1302215200126784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12664924776194292,0.0,0.1799741903571986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11447344925489335,0.0,0.10936076047451138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11917088094743865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13460250187288594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25605747409524204
addiction,throwawayajskddlfj,2020/03/01,"Feeling a little lost. Not sure if this is the right place, throwaway for anonymity.
I’m 19F, and I’m laying in bed after a 2 day coke binge. Last time I “slept” was the night before last for 3 hours early in the morning.
I always seem to forget about the guilt and depression that comes after a bender. It would absolutely destroy my parents if they knew the path I’m going down.
I don’t know if I would even call myself an addict, but as time goes on and I can’t seem to control myself around coke, it’s starting to look that way. The longest I’ve gone without it since September is 2 weeks. I do it weekly, not usually more than once a week, and not usually multiple days in a row.
Every time I do it it gets worse, I do more, stay up longer, and come down harder.

I guess I’m just seeking advice or words of encouragement. I hate myself for being this way and I just feel like I can’t talk to anybody about it.",3.5030080971659916,4.177824531578948,4.828947368421055,86.473016194332,72.10526315789474,7.319838056680162,24.615384615384606,7.321109707123232,0.9625870445344122,711,19,152,7,13,237,115,190,0.111,0.843,0.046,-0.8624,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,2,6,8,2,1,12,0,12,4,1,1,1,33,33,12,0,5,11,1,2,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,11,9,2,1,6,0,0,4,7,5,0,0,5,3,17,3,23,25,2,36,0,2,1,0,5,11,0,7,19,94,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443831152509459,0.0,0.12942239058119148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11020371697194517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11790291784135094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126997813276314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13523976287386105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22817693420867485,0.0,0.0,0.14854680235584627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17083037993429,0.0,0.11407351166629533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747777404518127,0.0,0.1115894775835742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339349661033626,0.09461776172312918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06919633464467248,0.0,0.07527077185696741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14590159950488135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13076067301044028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304303050663235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727875599540164,0.21591848459548169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06470527172654715,0.13274331985035812,0.0,0.0,0.11121929945764336,0.0,0.14457787666140126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12428938264278233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14104815238339002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14706298677461818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837541291703748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310614351793033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24114342829440785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095587463038505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09374428892998764,0.14116729632770186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248265617683482,0.0,0.0,0.10645317965507632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23168685187108015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917359123615402,0.0,0.0,0.21025519080638552,0.3187148934972233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12767094113736746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13497138248717766,0.18816832142497592,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Slijptol98,2020/03/01,"Alcohol addicted partner (35M), me (20F)  

Context: 

Since relationship advice removed my post I'm trying it here: 

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year, he is addicted to alcohol. I live at his place because I got kicked out by my folks when our relationship started. At first, I did not know his alcohol problem was such a major issue.

Everything was great. He was super lovely and bought me, for instance, flowers every week. My mom and dad thought he was too old, and he was going after me for a different reason. I kept saying it was nonsense and I have my own life to live. But as soon as I moved in with him it all changed. It started slowly but soon it took over my whole life.

He hits me when drunk and gets mad at me for no reason at all. I think I hear him shouting slut more than my actual name. As my dad and mom didn’t want me in the house whilst dating him because of the age gap, I feel like I can’t go to them for help.

Last time I saw them I was wearing a scarf because of the choke bruises in my neck, he was with me as well. We were having dinner, I excused myself and went to the kitchen, my dad followed up pulled my scarf and saw the bruises. He said something along the lines of ‘’For fuck's sake, who did that to you’’. So I lied and made up a story about having a fight at a bar with a woman. He bought it. (I think).

I feel like I’m constantly swallowing my pride saying everything is all great, as I’m afraid of the ‘’I told you so” leaving my dad's mouth. I feel like if I tell my folks they will get more angry and disappointed than they already are.

I rely on my boyfriend financially because he doesn’t allow me to get a job. It’s not only physical and verbal abuse. When I say no to having s\*x, it will happen anyway. I have no one to talk to about this.

How do I get out of here...??

Tl;dr: Abusive older boyfriend, can’t leave.",1.9835588442565173,3.585151819121446,3.5888043222926984,90.22019027484146,77.32041343669249,6.448015034061545,23.35517970401691,7.229369725052465,0.7738620155038758,1442,45,316,17,33,479,195,387,0.14400000000000002,0.769,0.087,-0.9808,4,0,4,0,2,0,56.0,2,1,4,3,17,16,3,1,16,0,28,18,3,5,3,43,64,26,0,3,5,6,3,3,1,2,7,6,1,2,11,19,8,1,9,2,2,8,9,7,1,2,25,11,59,9,49,36,8,43,0,1,2,3,45,15,1,1,22,206,70,1,0.0,0.2178237350882157,0.08970205922915833,0.2004158611655478,0.0,0.08982456091680513,0.0,0.2947081718219205,0.0,0.0,0.10143758759252876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241378106092366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09724068825181613,0.0,0.0,0.09933441388097228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603833348416634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07744777222757387,0.0,0.16522611452823416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13943471605975066,0.197006071288242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07818832434158395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849798840299965,0.19210062025892752,0.0,0.10448213792928787,0.0,0.0735179675193939,0.2026874097979896,0.0,0.0,0.0812858200320204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10360213615385022,0.0,0.06161299922647221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060649926030332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09594209459234596,0.09121783899754536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05051761587554319,0.07492823685884561,0.0,0.194663051250344,0.0,0.0,0.12985365378275626,0.1347245077703962,0.0,0.16233661964489995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829626825485309,0.08697828290556726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153145438005959,0.0,0.09769793651970808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09645608156507753,0.0,0.0622883422567721,0.06991039228350376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603833348416634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803532382199107,0.0,0.0,0.08795639755888587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890210861766087,0.0,0.1973784377962354,0.0,0.0,0.08743833301534493,0.21929884002678932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07603835964662814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07076561035115363,0.0,0.0,0.13012492743767914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388296629180507,0.08034338444377942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177990858706059,0.0,0.07297535044217303,0.05360012706214856,0.0,0.0,0.08783486887594076,0.10212809480039052,0.06240861943685513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0542176430559518,0.0,0.07373382930489326,0.0,0.08264840799941946,0.08521208973732175,0.0,0.10262699775260653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05919438938459684
addiction,alienstallion,2020/03/01,"off from substances for a year but on with gambling The passed 3 years I did nothing but detox, go to therapy and relapse and again and again. I am addicted to alcohol in combination with weed to be able to stop drinking and fall asleep.

I misused coughing medicine, amphetamine, benzos and cocaine as well but I don't consider myself addicted to those.

But I grew a serious addiction to alcohol causing me to suffer an epileptic seizure leading to 5 broken bones in my spine where the nerves go through. Thanks God I ain't paralized and can still walk.

So I am dead sober for almost one year but I shifted my addiction to gambling on slot machines and this is so fucking dangerous and expensive.
I receive welfare money but still I have managed to lose like a fuck ton of money for gambling.

I guess I need a separate therapy only for the gambling addiction.
I left my old environment to stay sober and now I am just on my own so I can't continue to waste my little money on slot machines.

I am fucking afraid to end up living under a bridge and relapsing on cheap booze again.

Thanks and sorry for bad English.",4.492874896437449,6.378556464788737,5.4729964098315405,78.14018227009115,71.20657276995306,8.767633250483291,34.125655896161284,9.325443323948027,3.4275702292184484,889,46,157,20,17,292,124,213,0.177,0.74,0.084,-0.9732,0,0,4,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,12,13,4,1,9,0,12,17,3,2,0,26,21,21,1,1,7,0,0,1,0,0,9,0,0,0,2,13,4,1,0,1,9,8,3,9,1,1,1,0,23,4,34,19,2,35,0,2,0,3,1,13,3,2,14,112,25,2,0.11407800600818498,0.0,0.0,0.6218093254751899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24382939017152866,0.1142326444833705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09525036997534016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11718953640340167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175301593754844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010392531771704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163898349782044,0.0,0.0,0.12966631948626325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256697848861343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239460873156337,0.0,0.0,0.055732751432940916,0.11433613138770088,0.1007329693111835,0.0,0.0,0.12762410869931998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458739597790364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10946092346568953,0.0,0.1197056773194577,0.0,0.07730220923314687,0.0867614641210527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277009880222499,0.0,0.12159197584304715,0.18220568591740852,0.09537432109781424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21005540213772594,0.2609162837343316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10256982761911598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22038748702477998
addiction,Superdudemegaguyman,2020/03/01,"Porn addiction i guess? I don't know if my first post made it.

So the last couple of years i've been single and watching porn daily like 4-5 times a day.

Now i have met this girl and it's great and we're connecting, but in bed i'm not really performing as i should, i'm having up's and downs (pun intended).

Does anybody know if this stays like this or is it a product of an overstimulated brain from the pron? 
I don't want to use any supplements, and i don't really know what to do.

Can anybody tell me if this will go away, or have any tips?

Thanks",0.9192589763177992,2.611936739495804,3.0072421695951133,92.77051184110009,80.76470588235293,7.016348357524827,19.22154316271964,8.00094639256281,0.4942201680672267,428,10,103,8,11,145,80,119,0.012,0.879,0.109,0.8911,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,5,0,12,4,1,3,0,21,24,13,0,5,7,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,1,1,8,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,3,1,8,4,10,19,1,13,0,0,1,2,3,4,0,6,8,59,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22518447280406206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2809402371433409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940730078597296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23059294296243196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285583482580523,0.0,0.13321623161254198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180764924529566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17570262646776244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739467630066246,0.0,0.0,0.2277367532387062,0.2275527488700647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3405653414483697,0.1683766486052703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018327763057549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19545517672689725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19783052965667966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646594621180446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22016897990791956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805454175537744,0.1901757220908565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12044871383458668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17840435814743766,0.0,0.0,0.12183637859029978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330199844364436
addiction,Ted-Talks,2020/03/01,"Quitting a different way I am a 28 year old male, highly 'functioning' and professional (at least, that's the face I put on during the 9-5). I've had an unhealthy relationship with drink and various drugs throughout my life. In the last 4 years, cocaine and booze have been my vice. 

I've tried to quit plenty, only to relapse. My Dad, during his recovery from his alcohol addiction said to me this, ""there's no such thing as someone who used to be an alcoholic, there's only sober alcoholics"". So I guess for people like me, who are addicts, the battle is never over, you can never stop trying to be sober, and the second you thinn you're over it, is the most dangerous moment that will probably ensue a relapse.

I don't want to keep relapsing, because one day I know it will kill me, I'll die of a heart attack in a cocaine and alcohol fuelled night of chaos. Because of my addiction, I have ended up getting myself into a situation once that saw me end up in intensive care for a month, a wheelchair for two months, and I still have a long road of physio ahead of me. I've been hospitalized on 3 occasions in total because of situations I found myself in, after having got drunk, or drunk and high.

This time I'm trying it a different way. I'm going to take to journaling, writing down my thoughts, discussing it with people maybe in a similar situation. I can't face meetings, and frankly don't have the time with my job, but I think this may serve a simpler purpose. Today is my day 1, and I've made the conscious decision to be sober and to be happy being sober. I have let this beast consume me, steal my identity, make me forget the people I love, the activities I find joy in. Today I started by taking an ice bath to shock my senses and make me feel somewhat alive. It really helped. I deleted all my coke dealers numbers and blocked them. I've written this post, externalizing my best intentions. Wish me luck. I pray I have the strength this time to not be so foolish to ever think I'm okay, and to never get complacent and know I'll always be an addict, but to know I have the choice of being a sober addict.",5.993033015115351,5.8414334534606205,6.933308472553701,76.4493978719173,66.49403341288783,9.942760540970566,32.49413285600636,9.621722640351123,2.928424741447892,1663,63,320,31,24,558,224,419,0.09,0.795,0.114,0.9536,3,0,8,0,0,1,55.0,0,2,1,5,7,15,4,0,29,1,32,20,3,5,6,56,63,20,2,2,4,1,2,1,0,3,11,1,1,1,17,18,9,3,11,4,0,2,8,6,0,3,10,4,45,9,49,41,7,52,1,0,1,1,16,20,0,6,28,211,62,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4299249943879413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3371720072580102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06563001818924029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973128861016237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14424374359577866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08277406748432946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08041795121105617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10173523407759874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08185942261446318,0.1648144203520962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07726711836151616,0.09146954023518067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13971903789625614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134662666168601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039881387411718164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208999113960722,0.0,0.0,0.08648197055967675,0.0,0.0,0.0824174869258669,0.0,0.044826275027987666,0.0,0.06308325416835155,0.0,0.08688930729788615,0.0,0.0,0.08396351991626651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346682701810806,0.05286800793632763,0.16667077330849706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827090868163547,0.07010740324134908,0.08726310183760617,0.0,0.13004231658398469,0.06429335806795944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065466232930972,0.05571149014766906,0.03853416451855335,0.0,0.0,0.06980157350213778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071187441196829,0.07463309055995405,0.10529886804937076,0.0,0.07924017637850682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259139687329088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824989522634912,0.0,0.0,0.07401850561584802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276566552044415,0.08399891637808549,0.05344749669898955,0.11997543442060025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640452303822231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07554010122750986,0.0,0.08504020128811142,0.0,0.0,0.07929079754746016,0.0,0.16778577496101485,0.0,0.0,0.050529113463707406,0.0,0.0,0.08468184430947075,0.0,0.0,0.07502784382891006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26597519696542765,0.0,0.0,0.06683022569294003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05582787547155717,0.0,0.06298938861654174,0.06594273000231407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11860782496247653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05240080541508668,0.10107936774523286,0.0,0.0626176530078001,0.13797730893575708,0.0,0.14952787046350532,0.0,0.0,0.160652107303939,0.0,0.07704906139981366,0.0,0.0,0.06812236360724584,0.0,0.0,0.0465223056718117,0.12521403430084058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907019423033161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10158536305846116
addiction,GiltVoices,2020/03/01,"Struggling with my addictive personality. As the title suggests I have a very addictive personality, and it seems that I find everything to be so boring nowadays. I’ve been drug free for over a year but all my hobbies have become dull to a certain degree. 

I used to immediately turn to drugs in this case, but now that I’m sober I don’t really know what to do. I’m scared to relapse. 

I know that I need to find something else that stimulates me but meanwhile the evenings are getting longer and longer.

What do you think? Every answer is appreciated. 
Thanks.",3.6875471698113214,6.1476936037735905,4.908150943396231,78.75335849056606,75.22641509433963,7.636226415094339,27.581132075471697,8.548686976883017,2.2130747169811333,446,18,82,9,10,147,72,106,0.102,0.757,0.141,0.6491,0,0,3,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,3,7,0,2,5,0,9,4,0,2,2,18,20,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,8,3,0,0,7,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,10,4,12,18,1,4,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,1,2,53,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3939094875165592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995335672219984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.419034950139502,0.0,0.15092489759425076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11932948351798695,0.0,0.15222054826420678,0.0,0.16237271271760312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3302544843351457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09439155219269553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19858077164517746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339630029452885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3155045875926634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574052130587953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808801455253564,0.0,0.0,0.1644733251743819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13908702208052234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888733787870831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16633478386425754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576473357784875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19651486013559955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15603910965416748,0.0,0.1490699879021595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634424266990358
addiction,rat91,2020/03/01,"Second day! I have been doing opiod for a long time, mostly smoking opium , popping oxys and tramadol.


I feel like shit today",2.472028985507244,5.3932637391304405,3.8173913043478263,81.34898550724641,85.52173913043478,3.066666666666667,20.71014492753623,3.1291,0.10817101449275368,98,3,14,0,3,32,22,23,0.16,0.738,0.102,-0.3382,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,3,1,1,0,0,3,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,2,1,1,3,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,5,10,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30415322099264863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384631548530675,0.3369224724814669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23040769233673686,0.0,0.0,0.4173652049561672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4841069142876016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2750030070191706,0.0,0.447036701119272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ineedtostopgamling,2020/03/01,"I’m An Addict Hi, I’m a gambling addict and I need help. Any advice and motivation is appreciated.

My current part time job for the past ~5 years on and off involves playing a popular game that has a gambling scene. You can build/buy certain accounts and calculate odds so that they’re in your favor. The game has an economy that is easily transferrable to real money. Shitty streaks/“bad beats” happen, but this is not my problem..

Sometimes when I get streaked and lose a lot of money; or simply there is no action and no one is betting, I get restless and irritated. Tons of people partake in a 50/50 gambling aspect of the game. When I’m having one of these rough days I’ll head over and start gambling instead of making sure the odds are in my favor. I’ll lose anywhere from $500-5k in a night and rarely win. As many of you know, the times you do win fuel your urge to go back and ultimately have you lose. 

I’ve lost somewhere in the neighborhood of $60k on this game, but you can make so much money so quickly that I convince my sick mind it’s a smart idea each time I resort to gambling.

I recently downloaded the pokerstars app. Saw an advertisement with an initial match deposit, and loaded in $25. Lost and won a couple spin and go poker tournaments. On my 3rd $25 3 player tournament, the prize pool landed on $625. The website says the odds of this happening are 1,000/1,000,000 (0.1%). I ended up winning. 

Told customer support I don’t trust myself and to let me withdraw immediately instead of in 48h. Withdrew the money.

After the despot hit yesterday I started adding more money back and playing more tournaments, chasing my high. Poker with an aspect of spinning a prize wheel to win up to a million dollars? What a crazy high, how could I say no? I’m only risking 1/25 of what I made after all.

Loss after loss, bad beat after bad beat, hypnotic deposit after hypnotic deposit, I lost the whole $625 back. I only won a handful out of all the rest. It felt like the app had it out for me. The craziest bs happening, it was making me feel insane. I can’t believe I just lost all of that money back in two days.

I need to quit. If I just worked my job without resulting to this hypnotizing headspace I’d potential riches I would be well off right now. I want to quit and be over with this. I feel disgusted with myself after every loss, only to be fueled by the memorized of past wins to continue in this sick behavior.

I still feel like chucking money 50/50. I still feel like depositing more money on pokerstars. How do I get rid of these sick desires?

What’s the worst place gambling has ever taken you to? Did you heal and bring yourself out of that rut? Do you have any advice for me and others to get out and stay out of that rut?",2.8917557022809137,4.967100867647061,4.248987094837936,84.37341386554624,76.16911764705883,6.7937575030012,25.99174669867947,7.745696148679241,1.5621251950780315,2168,81,414,32,49,715,259,544,0.171,0.693,0.136,-0.9790000000000001,6,0,0,0,0,0,76.0,0,10,0,26,22,42,1,2,35,0,29,8,2,8,6,70,69,31,0,8,8,0,7,3,0,1,6,2,0,0,23,29,0,0,9,9,22,4,7,17,1,4,14,10,46,25,72,48,14,68,0,10,1,0,20,30,0,4,36,272,69,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766847838726661,0.0,0.15837701706586346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11021600304564017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24925008688060254,0.202987760999203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09130105239587473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647015240107037,0.08966600108215601,0.0,0.1045244407738242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177481053625756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07330268928484845,0.06827724521336767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16389915467494695,0.11578582960694896,0.07780831674957088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16935414380310698,0.0,0.09211049390617657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21498249880142964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08316743571815588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0543174546603567,0.17124027414261858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914810131362582,0.0,0.0,0.16083361940400645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04453586652685088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08286591712505853,0.0,0.11877188960658835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719793327952514,0.3538462353619469,0.06889483780774028,0.0,0.07667925596014417,0.16227866476301764,0.08215889213650322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08182436196438181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05957158695652294,0.12017595398144157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07604782135272296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982566175572038,0.18489708068855484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775527376045206,0.1547181479358787,0.056180916155479696,0.0,0.0846665134009758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07754155286179278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723858450478019,0.0,0.09223795211138157,0.0,0.0,0.08001435208220274,0.0,0.0,0.06920523389249057,0.0,0.12888789649123295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08014775622110272,0.0,0.11471694179824199,0.08637475787316898,0.12943265289599096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09195993180632754,0.07637650028978757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14176014029698675,0.0,0.0,0.07743441429024654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07916146385254039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04779777653183538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728620779806205,0.0,0.0,0.09047501935209576,0.0,0.07811686498961262,0.0,0.05899596821145731,0.0,0.0,0.05756642517525335,0.0,0.0,0.05218523042072395
addiction,buffalobaby,2020/03/01,Fuck I relapsed and really embarrassed myself God I fucked myself over so bad. I could really use some encouragement.,6.177999999999997,9.463752799999998,7.190000000000001,61.32500000000002,71.0,12.0,25.0,11.20814326018867,4.487,96,3,13,4,2,32,16,20,0.48,0.348,0.172,-0.8947,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,2,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,4,4,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,1,1,3,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,2,1,0,10,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3124565493772345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29878276649268737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6919173550781045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4794674973021225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3232043563611224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,German-Horticulture,2020/03/01,"SOS please help, I'm addicted to reading posts on this addiction sub Just a joke to brighten things up in case any of you are struggling, or know someone struggling with addiction.

However, no small feat, but I just beat fentanyl weoooo! Haven't had any on day four in full withdrawals from an 8 month snorting affair. I still have a hookup and see people doing it in front of me but have no urge to do it. Can't believe I am this far, I know it is still early but I am so proud of myself. We will see how depressed I get over this next month but honestly other than the constant coldness and literal zero sleep, I'm actually starting to enjoy being sober. I've started swimming a couple hours a day as to get rid of goosebumps. I've been able to be more open with my loved ones. And now I have lots of time on my hands for work, hobbies and video games. Moreover, I got to meet some amazing people on r/opiates who gave me great tips, advice, and most of all support through this period learning to take back control. To everyone (95% of you) who said I couldn't do it...look at me now!!! And to the ~90% of you guys that said my use was too heavy to go cold turkey and that I need to get on suboxone or methadone...no way! Those would have been a bitch to get off of, and honestly, doing cold turkey hasn't been horrid except the first few days were a real bitch (get blankets, clonidine/gabapentin if you have good insurance, find time to *swim* since it gets rid of the goosebumps and you stay warm, and spend a ton of time listening to music you love). Everyday is getting so much better. I'm driven and excited to be sober. Soon I'll write a post that outlines further how I got on it, why/how I got sober and what my future plan looks like. Thank you everyone for your support on here, I feel loved!",3.7939097266370014,4.854295796143251,4.418085399449037,88.25412110616658,71.75482093663913,7.34770078406442,27.18467895740623,7.61054688173877,1.3698650985378262,1406,48,295,16,26,448,209,363,0.057999999999999996,0.7440000000000001,0.198,0.9958,1,0,2,0,0,0,54.0,1,8,0,8,14,23,2,2,13,0,29,10,4,4,1,44,65,24,0,4,10,0,3,1,0,2,3,3,0,1,18,16,0,1,5,6,1,5,6,5,0,4,13,13,30,18,50,46,9,52,0,1,3,3,24,19,2,6,25,188,48,4,0.09398240121774674,0.0,0.09171326646415898,0.3073640689523596,0.0,0.09183851475854604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278225112438576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226666534903116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10588598274258844,0.0,0.08311979647827211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156158785667316,0.1054092544514844,0.0,0.10398973937359647,0.0,0.1818326214461455,0.0,0.08094690445508372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17960842378176034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047520325910888415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08589821207826451,0.07994138246488346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3437134795899764,0.0,0.05341236443733145,0.07882797917662179,0.2254989351287211,0.10361592912958832,0.0,0.09305735309764007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06299442247226197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09255373388641464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330053971429196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045915054000538816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15784309390063653,0.0,0.0,0.07990047667285627,0.2544683592508283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15003171201519294,0.0,0.06908787864872411,0.06968675965627741,0.0,0.0,0.09995134990216922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368490734880619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13031112703298292,0.0,0.0,0.10316445415168243,0.0,0.0,0.1800183224627752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09400783419024712,0.1069725479519088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17879757062280416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14978361165607906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07774321347465676,0.0,0.09405027418393104,0.0,0.07963098356737734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13304245461337105,0.10017273494173727,0.15010893402901868,0.0,0.0,0.1965016230396082,0.0,0.0,0.21330023032011333,0.0,0.0,0.07066306946160067,0.0,0.0,0.0865263681074793,0.0,0.0,0.062437731305865024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16440568180955464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08117061944252213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07459885556595235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06842030741151586,0.0,0.0,0.06676240133826537,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,secretagent-47,2020/03/01,"Smart speakers are pretty addictive  I have a google home in my dorm room and now I can't stop myself from saying ""hey google play music"" even before I open my door lock. I can't even sleep because of the AI. It knows what kind of music I like and automatically finds the best for me whole day, and when I stop it before sleeping, it feels like I am withdrawing from some drugs. I am done with google home.",3.668943089430893,4.836622073170737,4.2741463414634175,88.7608943089431,72.17073170731706,6.930081300813008,20.98373983739837,7.1686216300943375,0.3154325203252033,318,6,69,3,6,101,56,82,0.0,0.748,0.252,0.96,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,3,0,7,4,2,0,0,11,9,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,2,5,0,4,5,0,2,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,12,6,7,8,3,8,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,7,43,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067825307173633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156290311497421,0.0,0.3228126218736424,0.0,0.1990606661116182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12232987986450075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941116241589309,0.0,0.0,0.21997212607179914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25056774079357946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09590945310419928,0.1355096140287286,0.0,0.0,0.1733668779651021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38053514454685206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975257149526727,0.104244847646302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18533912106155945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19297586155437285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508435804777746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3796400882517507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31716705867968426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21177435949223344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,reveri-,2020/03/01,"Will I be reported to child protective services if I go to a methadone or suboxine clinic? I want to reach out and get help but I have a 2 year old daughter. I am a functioning addict but I can’t go through withdrawal and I’m forced to continue my habit because I work, go to school and take care of my daughter...I am terrified of them reporting me to social services agency, and they will already have proof that I failed a drug test. I will lull myself if my child is taken from me.",2.8838636363636354,4.436822171717171,4.373623737373737,85.7471022727273,74.75757575757575,8.182323232323233,28.536616161616163,8.841846274778883,2.2445040404040397,381,16,79,8,8,127,63,99,0.14300000000000002,0.759,0.09699999999999999,-0.8573,0,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,4,0,10,3,0,0,1,12,19,9,0,3,5,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,1,0,17,1,11,14,0,7,0,1,0,0,7,1,0,3,3,52,18,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2933122553096623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2969115060744569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640148797296551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743219276036452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31202113727667546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14057137455799587,0.0,0.4587345233663989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803434883288136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2823304568575642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723004298296369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27427011267500945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20229766291353266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15869701200125574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19587697492672126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17326412940673078
addiction,Jayy62,2020/03/01,"Alcohol addicted brother My brother has an alcohol problem that been on going for the past year and her refuses to seek help. This past week has been the worst it’s ever been because his girlfriend kicked him out and he refuses to stay with my other brother or my parents and I, he resorts to sleeping in his car and has been ignoring phone calls. The only person he’s talked to is his sons mom but only to talk on the phone with his son. 

As I’ve mentioned his problem is on going and a couple months ago he had told me he had been arrested for a DUI during the summer. Of course he was drunk when he told me this but I was able to pull up the court records online and realized he was telling the truth. He had begged me not to tell anyone and me and his girlfriend (the one who just kicked him out) are the only one that know about his arrest. I’m extremely conflicted and don’t know whether to tell the rest of my siblings or my parents. My brother and I used to be best friends and although he’s been distant since he’s developed his addiction, I’m scared that he will never trust me again as his sister. Should I reach out to his girlfriend and ask her what really happened? Should I talk to my brother directly about it? Or should I just tell my family in hope that he’ll end up getting help? 

I’ve never been in this situation before and would really appreciate some advice.",5.826420863309353,5.6773262733813015,6.297041366906477,80.86268435251799,66.84172661870504,9.539928057553956,31.76348920863309,9.188382445141503,2.5613949640287768,1096,40,220,18,16,356,136,278,0.094,0.815,0.091,0.313,2,0,2,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,7,10,0,1,13,0,26,6,1,1,4,47,40,23,0,7,9,11,0,0,4,6,4,0,0,1,12,18,3,4,3,1,0,4,4,5,0,2,15,0,33,5,32,18,4,29,0,0,0,0,62,11,0,5,13,150,45,0,0.11011190172607634,0.0,0.0,0.2400764520171202,0.0,0.107600075979462,0.09760755710819063,0.2353522715550457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07699280191611005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10293976409976248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712319327049468,0.0,0.09369711824411467,0.0,0.1155556474970374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11243656291098243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218367248980604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752646198534083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09960251913658036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380370123904956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08507218212918445,0.0,0.057528923950730004,0.0,0.12515826256140047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09737159104622943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14761137333543325,0.0,0.0,0.10936596366610604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102924302728806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289617284847361,0.08789026942893423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16985017358913854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14922934865600895,0.2512351892850161,0.0,0.0,0.24453247200357586,0.0,0.2102285392378492,0.0,0.09614546537316794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21072443802940452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14108100764422113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024122280436932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910857029728062,0.12377039104793985,0.11019142322462827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173646363852856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655113269281434,0.38497062194847537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21043328168229614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09510132913492744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08832512571713427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822033572140512,0.0,0.0,0.07090845455108542
addiction,candlecoitus,2020/03/01,"Counseling I am in college to be an LADC to help people with addictions. My mother is 15 years clean and my uncle passed away 13 years ago all from opioids.

What is some good advice to someone who is in my shoes?",4.028992248062018,4.970667558139539,4.81860465116279,86.0448062015504,71.09302325581395,7.593798449612403,25.96124031007752,7.793537801064563,1.3440914728682167,167,5,34,2,3,54,35,43,0.0,0.825,0.175,0.8074,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,2,1,0,1,4,5,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,8,4,2,7,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,3,23,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3897883407356415,0.0,0.3493991578655333,0.3169514328356357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3359352213464627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2999006420450684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396619568587459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478840068654089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3029556681267724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.46050811916572704
addiction,_Nycey_,2020/03/01,"I’m addicted to escaping Ever since I was little, I’ve spent all my time doing everything except for what I was supposed to be doing. I grew up with divorced parents that never spoke directly to each other, it was only through my older sister, my younger brother, and me.
I rarely ever delivered the message as it usually had something very mean and nasty to say to the other one, unless it was saying when our family events would be. In response to not relating the message, I’d simply lose time reading Calvin and Hobbes, playing game boy, or playing Xbox through the years.
I went to school in a very, very small private school for most of my life, where I barely did any homework. I guess it was the schools belief that a failing student should pass anyways. So I spent my days doing everything other than what I was supposed to education wise. I enveloped myself in interests that I found interesting, not school, but now this post is getting longer than I’d imagined, so I’ll sum it up.

I’m addicted to escaping life as a whole, and it’s been video games, relationships, and food, but now that I’m realizing that those are all just escapes from life, I feel that there’s a much easier way",8.497824533545058,7.144691716157207,8.399833267169512,71.91939261611752,61.969432314410476,11.296705041683207,38.28543072647877,10.230975488527342,3.865974672489082,949,40,171,17,11,308,136,229,0.03,0.895,0.075,0.6827,1,0,1,0,1,0,26.0,1,0,0,2,11,7,0,0,9,0,18,6,0,0,5,30,30,14,0,2,8,3,1,0,0,2,5,3,1,1,19,7,1,0,6,8,2,3,3,2,0,1,14,4,20,5,27,12,6,26,1,2,0,0,14,8,0,3,13,122,39,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717099205319017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08474635102266898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037004340103478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22545311988738964,0.0,0.0,0.22400210336235984,0.0,0.11748130721528707,0.0,0.06301197154033078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15069184794732815,0.1366401677905745,0.0,0.0,0.06510917344706504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13728375349862434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640698626213944,0.0,0.1249026827859822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13941868918637912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13574847866783205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916105552676299,0.0,0.09611516827344553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444621312018594,0.0947796597596351,0.0,0.0,0.1383765420917313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935218450557135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12465442647998955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13379599632592645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982067688318612,0.0,0.5044912158320993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10308753277713677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593910508420772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14533466742461368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13725209735619798,0.3084753923187844,0.0,0.09891811290768047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552463959806115,0.0,0.1391345637097802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08852697140545072,0.0,0.0,0.0802516464619423
addiction,jacklikeswine,2020/03/02,"I think my girlfriend has an addiction and she just won't listen to me Me and my girlfriend have been together almost a year and have had many problems with her smoking weed but that's it, everything else is amazing. I smoke VERY occasionally but she has quite the affinity for it. She has gone through phases of using all day every day to ""deal"" with her depression an anxiety. I have talked to her about it and she's made a point of trying to address it. She recently left college because she has been such a hard time dealing with depression and while she was there she only smoked on weekends because again, it got to the point once where we hadn't had a sober conversation in a week. Since she came home she told me she's taking a break cause she wants to get herself sorted out and she wants to get a job and I was so proud that she made that choice on her own. She's planning on hanging out with a friend and it's one of her pothead friends and I asked if she was smoking and she said she wasn't planning on it cause she doesn't want to be mad. We have had so many talks about how she depends on it and when the high wears off how miserable she can be and I told her I wouldn't be mad but I don't wanna see her hurt herself more before she starts making an effort to get better. She won't listen to a word I say about and told me she doesn't want to talk about it. She has a dependence on it and it hurts me to see her self medicate and smoke herself silly to feel better and she just won't listen. I need advice, I can't break up with her, I love her so much but it hurts me to watch her hurt herself.",2.046066524259995,3.6785464395280254,3.170735428745804,93.15053097345137,77.23008849557522,6.209785372800328,22.309124198962465,6.953978226594392,0.44012981385413497,1269,36,286,13,29,408,150,339,0.134,0.773,0.09300000000000001,-0.9166,1,0,3,0,0,0,17.0,2,0,0,7,16,18,2,1,16,0,32,4,1,10,1,57,62,28,0,9,7,0,2,0,4,4,2,5,2,1,15,26,0,0,2,1,0,3,10,10,0,1,19,10,63,8,40,36,4,32,0,7,3,1,64,16,0,5,11,205,78,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10599722157735986,0.0,0.09501397575237794,0.0,0.0,0.09736379330929414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438220656282131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09089878572202137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11854343781397104,0.0,0.08273726240317207,0.0,0.0,0.1719875881680508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112074941833164,0.0,0.19976807596455184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254131800838871,0.20048382543456086,0.16749154180783798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08122485148909055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08192214554014794,0.0,0.0873858434664956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04916341586874473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15024238926312747,0.0,0.15239910573181314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07776530507865746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08710076513889296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10273093632298363,0.09753161423881923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41635542713002704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09648774738486478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10564284212690067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775566757647905,0.18400652068040133,0.06490310864784762,0.1971559543151039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09795100105974562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147670064102664,0.07209628890069995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354889652626097,0.06588691311636043,0.07394931018272675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18383131827441265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303788339880416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341819037173527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09600486042010803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09248988882498424,0.07732278141657548,0.0,0.0,0.15496261544963594,0.0,0.1014341715542932,0.0,0.0,0.08043130727248189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06882130329473443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310635615204518,0.2344541725374573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06230233342820628,0.0,0.0,0.05669675555357559,0.0,0.0,0.27872800099701617,0.0,0.06601413904382761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08397722118866935,0.0,0.08022657508362405,0.22939978865871696,0.0,0.07799363780017554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06261421397733392
addiction,indiasideas,2020/03/02,"Some Musings of an Aged Recovering Junkie & Juicer ""Some Musings of an Aged Recovering Junkie & Juicer""

WHAT I HAVE LEARNED (thus far)

1.

anger is not sustainable (you cannot sustain (active) anger over long periods of time. it is exhausting, will make you physically, mentally and worst yet, spiritually sick.) it can also weaken your resolve in abstaining from substances.


2.

   a.   argumentation is a skill, being argumentative is a sign/red flag

    b.   a sign/red flag is much like an old fashioned theatre marquee flashing ""UNSTABLE""


3.

you can deflect, deny, filibuster, accuse, attack, obstruct and continue to act out,  fearfully... but it won't change what the Truth is.

ultimately however, we make our own decisions and thusly are responsible for each and every one of them.

deflection promotes the disease of addiction whereas self reflection and introspection promotes wellness in all areas of life.


4.

(struggling with) spirituality/belief system ~ burning bushes *rarely* happen... even in the bible.

because HP (a higher power,  greater thank you) sometimes speaks in whispers, we must listen... in order to receive, learn, practice and pass on to another, we must truly be quiet and listen.

quiet your mind, your heart... let your spirit settle... and Listen. Learn. Live, and Live Well. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


today, i choose to live by choice

NOT chance

make changes

NOT excuses

be motivated

NOT manipulated 

be useful

NOT used

excel

NOT compete

be full of self esteem 

NOT self pity

LISTEN to your inner voice 

NOT the random opinions of others

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
the 3 C's of Life

you must make the *CHOICE*
to take a *CHANCE*
to make a *CHANGE*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

better to see the truth for what it is and accept it than to fight the truth for what you want it to be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

never take criticism from someone you wouldn't take advice from.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



 ",6.575170238224738,9.630435264984225,5.647235940389428,74.04410094637225,68.58990536277602,8.031719786794303,30.80485151745893,8.841846274778883,2.9795143913847486,1517,63,225,29,29,456,190,317,0.092,0.747,0.161,0.9788,2,0,0,0,1,0,196.0,4,12,1,9,5,20,4,2,18,0,25,6,1,10,8,59,43,12,0,5,9,0,0,1,0,6,5,9,0,3,11,16,0,1,9,0,0,3,12,9,2,1,0,10,19,11,36,30,9,27,1,1,1,0,28,12,0,4,11,144,30,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218419091722335,0.0,0.10952367977551412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963066362359892,0.0,0.2428781554673104,0.0,0.0,0.11752608267084562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12750764716995558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06832317782629467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09912601479266678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3556986382969333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07402805394781181,0.0,0.09443257966644628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261216217966951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09911233667730043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328158258519701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146098132121645,0.1583314168132192,0.0547568270725164,0.0,0.29690716711036685,0.09918763615092364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3740727209704389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11295069198884468,0.0,0.11316926386984358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239199770800205,0.0,0.08644332196170122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760953665578094,0.0,0.07594858668328883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931357590968557,0.0,0.3507729353172215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496536793275052,0.0,0.11085039167564988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11717078011192544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25281155989994103,0.0,0.0,0.10318858332647378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06535498857287847,0.0,0.1062391237462747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19360297701625545,0.0,0.0,0.06610792989840532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015474983522228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,killerpengoons,2020/03/02,"Leap day fail Fell hard off the wagon on the 29th, and have been feeling crappy since. I know I can get back on, just don't want to relapse again. In need some positive  energy right now, since I don't have the best support irl. (Alcoholic btw)",2.8621428571428567,4.4633331224489785,3.636479591836736,90.80941326530613,74.91836734693878,7.348979591836735,22.45408163265306,8.07648339933343,0.94524081632653,189,5,41,3,4,60,40,49,0.226,0.604,0.171,-0.4922,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,0,0,7,12,1,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,2,3,2,5,11,2,10,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,1,4,24,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3292491359101249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368983232546315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3233161663284476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19868931696949407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557770166152271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16096167991467222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759836170551011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16931544116102154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22844109986101555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631028791164123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5097021379808269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34961117043806555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817164961890745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Pintofpetrolplease,2020/03/02,"Codeine I think I'm addicted to codeine, it all started when I took 90 mg of codeine phosphate, and it made all the pain I felt feel good, I thrashed the house looking for some and I can't find any.",2.9521428571428565,3.78526897619048,3.074761904761907,97.95357142857144,73.52380952380952,6.552380952380951,33.04761904761905,6.42735559955562,1.4384190476190477,155,8,38,1,3,47,31,42,0.084,0.8420000000000001,0.07400000000000001,-0.1027,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,1,2,10,9,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,3,5,1,3,6,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,19,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3351931701087805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20909356565878265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15546861486736085,0.0,0.2952242494284377,0.0,0.28102660904374505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578954689486774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3547849047616858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582015874757281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909403098954646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3271751128540902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217632410350906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19701758533107824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3416160742391149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,glesgajunkje,2020/03/02,"Just fuck it & give in? Bit of a story (will try & keep it brief). Started issuing when I was 14 after my dad died & my mum became mentally/physically abusive and I became homeless. Started with coke, mdma, vallium. Moved on to crack, heroin, dilaudid & fentanyl at about 16 ish. Got really into psychedelics at about 17, DMT, LSD, shrooms & ketamine. I got settled and housed, stopped taking as much and was gang raped, by partner died a few weeks later (overdose) and I lost my flat after a neighbour reported me to the housing. It’s been over 2 years now since my boyfriend died & I have just been a complete mess ever since. Put a face on it, but I am taking disgusting amount of drugs. I don’t know what I’m doing half the time & it might sound daft but I just don’t really know if I want help? I’m not happy by any means, drugs have completely taken over my life. But I just am at the stage of thinking fuck it & just go along until something stops me. Don’t know if anyone else has been through similar ? Frequently/Daily using weed, crack, vallium, Xanax, pregablin, cocaine, ketamine, dilaudid, fentanyl & oxy.",3.4925301786576526,5.5714408073394575,4.257213906325447,84.97636648961856,74.41284403669725,7.1582810236600665,27.528730082085943,8.032893268588372,1.8633999999999995,888,35,167,14,19,284,136,218,0.16899999999999998,0.807,0.024,-0.9816,0,0,4,0,0,0,57.0,0,0,0,1,10,7,4,0,8,0,16,9,1,1,1,30,38,12,3,3,11,2,0,0,2,2,4,1,0,1,7,7,1,3,5,0,0,4,4,6,0,1,9,1,17,1,25,27,4,28,0,1,0,3,6,9,2,3,14,94,24,1,0.0,0.09323904923207753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7673803552380849,0.0,0.05351434726740163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055024395607341514,0.08063089390774318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08591303093854857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16501748709244807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24501460147723736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18251918742517664,0.0,0.0657384059777353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711828674897496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14550193233258427,0.0,0.0754900728149277,0.044723387000577694,0.0,0.12587692319584848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08377080167382524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05274666202823538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18160370013137594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08213567431025415,0.0,0.069946488411334,0.0,0.0,0.12974383544931992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055583617704067965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590336155894109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857204014189193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08348147492174132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08363884412636957,0.057848851411196014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910880442520478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082627186053453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301923200563451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060582178749226535,0.0,0.0,0.1113994717863844,0.0,0.0,0.13158274837366038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11833558897726122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0504236820773227,0.0,0.0,0.04588687163930329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05342778956409264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06796600496246265,0.0,0.0,0.046415524810405125,0.0,0.06312326007856132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05067609903813261
addiction,Steven-CMD,2020/03/02,"Looking for input for my thesis Hey everyone,

Sorry if this post is not appropriate for this subreddit, so please delete if needed. I’m a student from the Netherlands and currently working on my thesis. In short it’s about what can we do for those people that are directly affected by someone else’s addiction (partner, kids, parents etc.). Nowadays there are quite a few solutions for people that have an addiction, but way less for the people around them. My studies are related to communication, multimedia and design, so I’m looking at it from that point of view.

My question is if some people (preferably those affected by the addiction of someone else) are willing to give their opinion and input on the things I’m working on. Of course everything will be completely anonymous. Things can range from some rapid questions about small things and maybe even helping me test my digital prototype.

Thanks in advance",8.297701863354039,9.423399670807457,7.692726708074537,68.58542546583854,61.60869565217392,10.912049689440996,39.70248447204969,10.793553405168565,4.7667336645962735,741,38,112,18,10,232,102,161,0.027000000000000003,0.91,0.063,0.7773,2,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,2,4,7,1,0,0,7,0,13,3,0,2,0,20,21,10,0,5,5,1,0,0,1,2,3,1,0,2,13,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,9,1,25,18,5,14,0,0,3,0,11,10,0,8,1,85,22,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44376404211799625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079223000521208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422676320253571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22670196998780964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15132941880885442,0.08962149195516833,0.0,0.0,0.12965692510432938,0.12194877860479506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301655247578067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094966644104584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22788964763676936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363181230326388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10061188431224263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15066689144738812,0.0,0.0,0.3762794568812873,0.0,0.0,0.14894608642216786,0.12827023144469155,0.0,0.1299528254939975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3040061026697525,0.14432225519670952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299381789559032,0.0,0.0,0.15189304369660436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249244617044556,0.0,0.0,0.27043779176344723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770383732932247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19756682870173908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,StuFromSpace,2020/03/02,"In love with a love addict Hey there all,
I've recently become very emptionally invested with a girl who has identified as a love (and sex) addict. 
After reading up on this particular addiction (I'm recovering from heroin myself) I've become more knowledgable about the subject and even have made similar comparison in order to identify with her. 

My question is this:
Is it possible for her to recover from a love addiction while taking part in a monogamous relationship?

Just trying to see if this is something we can work through together or if I'm just wasting my time. 

Thanks!",7.107999999999998,8.490045133333336,8.016190476190477,64.30714285714289,64.33333333333334,12.095238095238097,36.904761904761905,11.765960540728905,5.149190476190476,469,23,73,16,7,158,74,105,0.051,0.775,0.174,0.9441,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,6,0,6,9,0,1,1,15,16,7,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,5,6,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,6,5,18,15,3,10,0,0,1,5,12,5,0,4,4,54,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6183053721536064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132005713194405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09365357151036492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5118983298997386,0.13416887083798648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15354903804280598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598513819296429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15884168325501255,0.0,0.14183232876521878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400044266898237,0.15223364524014768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11299142584784093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091599157606213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10661140941886528,0.0,0.0,0.1305448252689725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08268119678229202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09626878941139128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699486464248166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10322768967710376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,GoBrowYourself,2020/03/02,"To be honest, I hate Addiction/Actively using people. Unfortunately this is the same thing for a lot of drug addicts. Don’t get me wrong I know a lot about addiction, And am a year and month into my recovery, But I will always hate addiction and the hold it took on my ex/Baby daddy. And addiction also took my father and never lost grip.

Baby daddy: Kindest  guy in the world , but couldn’t stay sober, and can’t find it in his heart to be honest with himself and me and our child.That he isn’t ready to get sober. 

Dad,well dad is old enough to know better,And dug his own shit hole with stealing and all that comes from addiction with most addicts. So once again ,I fucking hate addiction. 

So as nice as I try to look when I see someone high/tweaked/ nodding off... I can’t help but shake my head and try to tell myself at least I can say I have another day clean.",2.43186440677966,4.1149599830508485,3.812000000000001,88.74952542372884,76.28813559322035,6.9798870056497195,22.53446327683616,7.793537801064563,0.9231012429378538,675,19,144,10,15,222,110,177,0.136,0.7440000000000001,0.12,-0.45,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,1,0,0,1,6,12,5,1,6,0,13,12,3,1,2,30,28,19,0,1,3,2,1,0,0,1,8,1,1,1,5,15,0,1,3,0,0,4,6,9,0,0,3,4,20,3,21,21,8,19,0,1,2,1,11,7,2,3,7,92,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7410636681233361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07766030223083713,0.08080482916986137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10183023009350048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08588752951852607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08365325007108619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06262910202532876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126189017902982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034248888901397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875846113734277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977832993245953,0.1014738550346126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615598810060527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876335064297667,0.09966476315426044,0.0,0.0,0.11507799629842876,0.06509201837378434,0.10260398927490906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10674025358459782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08154948616982116,0.0,0.10600904349115448,0.16512202482541266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07751374305751764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748986366716552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10190253862531792,0.10342093870541463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732512135399289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722723182653875,0.0,0.0,0.07738556224007227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968390677282388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228254569319371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10350829879027633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08488002730078993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06451679043757158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21578965175161915,0.1318651276213448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08387344854999805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10617655062081433,0.0,0.0625368401120073
addiction,TheEmpyrean26,2020/03/02,"My best description of cocaine. It feels like being on that vacant, golden beach when you were 17. Alone and drunk off of the expensive whiskey from your cottage bar. It's late afternoon in September and the wind is still warm. You are as alone as you have ever been, and as alive. You need nothing else in these moments. You've described this as the happiest experience of your life. God is not real, you're certain, but maybe it's a feeling. This feeling is religious. Your mortality does not matter. You forget it exists at all. You can do anything, say anything, be anything- without thought. The absence of all inhibition and discomfort. It's the love of your life embracing you and never letting go. Until the other side of this angel insists on emerging. And it will insist, each time. You are never spared of this hell. Ordinary sounds in your environment infuriate you. Your chest aches, your head pounds, your nose bleeds. Take the benzo. Turn the world off until it's over. Never again. But the next day you wake up and you want to feel God again.",2.9444920141969817,5.836582974489797,3.506947648624667,85.09767968056791,81.5,6.265838509316771,24.848269742679683,7.586124646067393,1.5636613132209405,837,32,149,14,23,262,123,196,0.129,0.7490000000000001,0.122,-0.6777,0,2,2,0,0,0,33.0,0,19,0,1,5,7,1,1,10,0,14,11,4,0,7,30,25,16,1,2,5,0,5,1,0,1,3,2,0,0,14,8,3,0,5,4,1,1,6,2,0,0,3,8,20,5,26,18,4,29,2,0,0,1,21,12,1,0,17,107,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3195795076245093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3808831328156512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16190957312159468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09949920803425502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350133284311456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12888291948994007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395570160744644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15091752395949426,0.0,0.0,0.3120387149055194,0.11021918186971724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08768208782039989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15833797199838515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740369585448695,0.0,0.0,0.15776392709561055,0.21794805696807654,0.07537445382851858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392456425797761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15499713281521169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11439824176422647,0.3569756610270981,0.0,0.16408079163340966,0.0,0.0,0.14803786121557092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756068364076305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12269133928043227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12320990537314447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11600095834477984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12248277481698512,0.08996314856092713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16781465020784028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099959541533208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14872246420153526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,jacobweakland,2020/03/02,"How Do I Find The Root Of My Problem. I’m a recovering addict who relapses every 2-3 months. I’m not addicted to anything, I use to be but now I just use every so often. My favorite was Oxycodone btw. But I’ve used everything except meth, crack or any designer drugs. But what I can’t find is the root of my problem. I’ve had several frantic experiences through out my life but none of them are worth using to block out. I just don’t really think about them. The experiences aren’t what I’m trying to block out. I’ve been working with my addiction therapist and I tell her that I don’t know what the root of the problem is and she thinks I’m just hiding it. But honestly I have no clue what the root is. I know there is one because I wasn’t one of those kids who tried drugs from peer pressure and got addicted, I was one who tried my first pill in 6th grade. Not knowing anything about it. My dad was prescribed oxys because he was older, I was the youngest, but he was prescribed 120mg a day and had so many pain pills laying around the house. But back to what I was saying. I can’t figure out why I started using. Does anyone know ways to help myself figure it out or any tips would be greatly appreciated",2.4580609523809542,4.104337088000001,3.9680571428571447,87.81726666666668,76.12,7.001904761904763,24.704761904761906,7.793537801064563,1.2039961904761904,952,32,203,14,21,316,128,250,0.132,0.7929999999999999,0.075,-0.9271,1,0,3,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,2,2,13,8,0,2,10,0,26,10,0,10,0,53,43,16,0,4,15,1,0,0,0,1,10,1,0,1,13,11,0,2,10,0,1,0,10,6,0,4,12,1,27,2,24,28,1,15,0,0,0,0,14,7,0,3,7,131,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.433849901666572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353178271364179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0695680881229371,0.0,0.16374915692546785,0.08857020646556678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650427169882004,0.0,0.12130048805400427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06416500243755932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706733168072016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307614790634325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16765493594078906,0.0,0.08941823906044565,0.19464724361218125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818703028163597,0.08462902244810339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07957394887191263,0.10969180819634956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666883187296921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148020080433684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187158496595248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027512018891348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10087067627777424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07941467067847298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022578777391685,0.0,0.10586797643686413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856051976870309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06373801009969671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912113311782401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11239920537501777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07042192998708588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08696160383159668,0.0,0.0,0.1155194884278643,0.0,0.12750268747232252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20264843247706413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4296516999781207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07897321797089348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977730474933028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243236923478129,0.0,0.0,0.07067724609375235,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,lucasmosby,2020/03/02,"Can someone be addicted a certain type of person ? My crush, who I’ve been in love with for the last 6 years, is everything I’m looking for in a significant other. In my eyes, she’s perfect and I love every little thing that she does to the point that I think about her every second of every day since I met her. 

I just want to know what would it take to stop feeling like this, since I’m tired of thinking about her all the time. And if addiction can also be towards another person.",4.8512121212121215,4.915760131313132,5.863181818181817,82.41477272727275,68.8989898989899,8.620202020202019,28.62121212121212,8.344100000000001,1.8568303030303035,379,12,78,5,6,126,68,99,0.064,0.733,0.203,0.9274,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,5,0,7,6,1,0,3,15,19,4,0,3,2,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,2,8,3,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,3,11,5,15,14,1,11,0,0,2,2,11,6,0,1,6,53,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3660110076014265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13424735744693458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760286646532974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826369721281234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14690611511130086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4243187687538125,0.0,0.15087273110234115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08488124080740367,0.11992795087252177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09225818446054147,0.13683826874286736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201388943781797,0.1682520707713768,0.0,0.0,0.14097038905298914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030224739330658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931591029596837,0.0,0.0,0.15869351344556298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2777312780412436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14223759122755136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403486966749657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12621902102287758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11152684677246176,0.21513148641670074,0.0,0.0,0.09788764421881956,0.19294442729784095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09901538755104627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11925161194181486,0.0,0.0,0.10810420880366878
addiction,nwaisou,2020/03/02,"can someone please tell me not to take more relapsed again few nights ago and i’ve been on a bender ever since and i’ve taken quite a bit today and already my tolerance is building up again and i really fucking want to take more and i just think i need one person to tell me not to. i wouldn’t normally do this but i’m desperate there’s so much on my mind at the moment and i’m fighting every urge not to take more. already taken codeine, valium and alcohol for reference. feel like i’m going to explode if i don’t take anything. i was sober for a couple months and relapsed in jan and it’s been on and off until this week and i can’t stop",0.9276746611053176,2.978337518248175,3.0410271115745573,90.68936131386863,82.57664233576642,5.958081334723673,21.46454640250261,7.1686216300943375,0.6629232533889473,508,16,109,7,14,172,83,137,0.071,0.867,0.063,-0.4704,0,0,1,0,2,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,6,3,2,0,4,0,9,2,0,0,1,27,24,15,0,5,6,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,3,11,1,1,3,0,0,1,6,2,0,1,5,1,11,1,16,18,6,19,0,0,0,1,4,7,1,1,12,71,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14256503371343485,0.17187708371590316,0.0,0.0,0.35495717597777554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13234840480974178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17558340314877444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17795401613599965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454788637206663,0.13550520654187165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131987727705885,0.11489613198717473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14868364068048934,0.0,0.0,0.09140271742383199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07857283141313247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162391248116285,0.0,0.12837201949773447,0.0,0.11822767847977378,0.1192525226723225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15092694069974774,0.15757808385102431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898176202994314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14042951097655695,0.0,0.17654173430336936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17106123324908326,0.0,0.0,0.10303105213887156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13303925126142052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13626972641757185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13446008424287628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4836929904406221,0.0,0.2811429325904156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10305260566072816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15244690399135175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09486099740767673,0.0,0.12900716807868934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,TheRustyToaster,2020/03/02,can you be addicted to drugs in general i mean like just getting high and not a specific drug. if so what is that called,0.6346666666666678,2.992156200000004,2.764,90.08866666666668,87.0,8.133333333333335,24.333333333333336,8.841846274778883,2.1687333333333343,95,4,21,3,3,32,25,25,0.0,0.898,0.102,0.3612,0,0,2,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,0,6,5,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,15,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3376339333724988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3162525826382361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7183397349889998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16181276183461082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3272298046459098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15131059726062618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3373692996724538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,MinuteMaidBerryPunch,2020/03/02,"Using a stim to get off heroin, good or bad? I've been using heroin for a bit now not a few years or anything just a few months maybe more and recently decided I need to stop. The dope sickness is such a fucking nightmare though and I can't miss more work due to it. I last banged 10 hours ago. I however did everything I had over the course of the weekend after a 3 day withdrawl sickness. Thankfully it hasn't started as early as last time so I deiced to use crystal again to avoid what may come. This would be only my second time without using since the 3 days since I started. Is this effective for symptoms or should I expect even worst symptons? Should I expect to even get sick? I'm not entirely sure of everything since I'm not long time user. It's nothing like stim withdrawls and that was manageable for me.

On a side note because I know it isnt smart to trade one addiction for the other but I did go through a big stim phase which was mostly just crystal so im not worried about being addicted to that as I can stop my self easily.",3.0997763048881524,4.639445605633807,4.309616128141396,86.48102734051369,74.16431924882629,7.265285832642918,26.613918806959404,7.928766900206844,1.5730162386081192,826,30,167,12,17,271,131,213,0.111,0.823,0.066,-0.7392,1,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,11,10,1,1,13,0,18,7,0,5,1,34,35,13,0,6,11,0,0,1,0,4,6,0,0,1,11,4,0,3,3,1,1,2,8,5,0,2,6,0,15,5,24,23,7,30,0,1,0,1,1,5,1,5,24,110,26,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27187326080720475,0.0,0.0,0.1105351424825991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026138696280539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10411563327109367,0.07601329191977664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13613531999467038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074142344076778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608367168035766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647205605481177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22413676375738714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11527909038680853,0.13029662854313853,0.0,0.07086739385232525,0.10458876901895957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12280006663115525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13469266632524887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06852945109441633,0.20328714466887504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060919980792551,0.0,0.0,0.11035169881502624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12527350945036694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09953085336817682,0.0,0.0,0.09246022142771997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964880942740172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449697853821833,0.09483663719972253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231218803065792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300847256530042,0.0,0.0,0.30944851365556736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765204017737906,0.0,0.0,0.20850224185943586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11752414513403585,0.12960649317303036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11480297253042494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12251281248922437,0.0,0.21813305452949674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4307879134629689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020212687962968,0.0,0.09077989570220407,0.12663445389769548,0.0,0.08858018999920984,0.0,0.0,0.0802998902875669
addiction,RoseQuartz9118,2020/03/03,One shot a day of whiskey I have been in the habit of drinking one or two 100 proof southern comfort shooters daily for two years. Approximately could I have done a lot of damage to myself? I will ask my doctor as well. I am 25. Thank you.,0.5321088435374115,2.8956981632653047,2.2847959183673474,93.22746598639458,87.77551020408163,4.082993197278912,20.41156462585034,5.46131890053228,-0.19585986394557864,186,6,40,1,6,61,40,49,0.065,0.7909999999999999,0.14400000000000002,0.4404,0,0,2,1,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,3,0,7,3,0,0,1,4,9,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,4,2,0,7,3,7,5,1,3,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,31,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551088209513443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21787491560175906,0.0,0.0,0.17598699613436142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793073709664188,0.0,0.27925410936666584,0.0,0.2673215073163244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319954159082108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3698252421685834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512340550646681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5331341887072301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.245354639374032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17572774130780353
addiction,rebeccaaisrad,2020/03/03,"My boyfriends an addict. I’ve never written a post on here, but my boyfriend was clean of H for 3 years, I’m not an addict myself. Sadly over the past month he’s relapsed and is using daily and regularly, he went to an NA meeting and stopped using for a few days, but went back to it because withdrawl symptoms were to much for him to handle sadly, he is going to be going to a clinic soon and I’m truly hoping that works for him. 

This is truly the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with, I worry about him constantly, I told him I cannot do this but it’s so hard when someone is your best friend. 

I truly just need some words of encouragement right now and I felt this was the right place to share. 

Thank you. :)",4.48727891156463,4.547168340136056,5.389523809523811,85.51380952380953,69.68027210884354,7.34965986394558,25.857142857142854,6.42735559955562,0.8834163265306119,554,14,117,3,9,182,92,147,0.092,0.6629999999999999,0.24600000000000002,0.983,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,2,0,2,9,8,0,0,9,0,10,4,0,2,2,21,24,10,0,2,5,0,2,0,1,0,4,0,1,0,7,6,0,1,1,0,0,4,3,2,0,0,8,2,14,6,17,15,4,22,0,2,0,0,14,5,0,2,12,79,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3681404817871071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12983439357153784,0.0,0.10292873166888876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17719651963095004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18246569294220805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10889358195308793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527335108215254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621214378928885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304522532409181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19192145956782755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512554629502978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677050715173031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13477359341206505,0.0,0.12412338087246955,0.1251993313409415,0.13022669281256755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611853954649882,0.0,0.0,0.17641117900188236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16171058686488368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883921024657331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14306513813860572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411652538832361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17549867426385898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554533957935398,0.0,0.0,0.11217571671429404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16134237458873746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916625002757853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3130492725231116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12292402143987195,0.17147426977677016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108733165630731
addiction,chatooly,2020/03/03,"life gets worse every time i light another bowl (meth) just ran out of my last batch, i promised myself this is the end & i’m quitting this time so i smashed my pipe (which was hard to get because i’m 17) but it’s only been a few hours since i sobered up and everything’s hitting me all at once, it’s been 4 months straight so it might be a little early until withdrawals kick in but i’m already coming down and it feels worse every single time i run out like i always just felt ok about it at first but the more times i’ve ran out and couldn’t afford more i just kept getting anxious anticipating how it’s going to make me sleep all day and i don’t want to just feel so physically defeated n slowly emerge into my old n depressed self who so stupidly sought after meth to feel better in the first place. i know it’s stupid as hell for me to use it as an antidote for depression cause that’s already enough of an excuse to want it everyday, let alone just being flat out addicted to it, like yeah it’s bad getting over addictions physically but mentally my depression has worsened and now, i have trauma additionally to that because what meth made my boyfriend become and other situations i’ve been around because of that drug. oh, yeah, i kind of got my boyfriend addicted too lol. but that leads to what i really wanted to say in the first place: it’s horrible feeling responsible for someone you would die for slowly killing themself and/or losing themselves mentally, completely discarding everyone they used to be and someone you don’t recognize instead. i even mean it when i say they switch up their whole personality. it’s like one second he was himself and the person i just was always used to n right at that moment, my boyfriend literally morphed into a hateful n mean and really fucking cruel person i didn’t recognize. and by morph i mean i saw his whole facial structure change in a scary supernatural way. i genuinely was scared for my life seeing him physically change like that, even before he started being hurtful to me. it’s different for everyone, but i assure you everyone who smokes meth regularly starts to lose touch with themself, like your ego and your identity or general idea of who you really were. i promise you if you don’t think it’s true you’re wrong because i felt the same way until i realized i was approaching situations, talking, acting just so out character. it’s not really until you’re sober that you realize how much you thought u were getting away with. i promise you everybody knows too. as hard as you try u will not be able to act like how u would sober around anyone, and maybe they aren’t too sure what it is, but they’ll definitely know you’re doing drugs and doing them continuously. just seeing how different you are can really weird someone out depending on how close they are or your relationship. i easily recognized my bf change as soon as i was scared shitless just seeing his face morph into one i not only didn’t recognize but felt so afraid of without even knowing why or what happened. he insisted it was his real self that he hid from me, and i really didn’t want to accept that since he was a super optimistic n caring & loving and for some reason an innocent type of a guy to me. i was so heart broken by the whole situation, just not being able to unsee that side to him. i genuinely never expected it. i cried in front of him for the first time and very hysterically because i felt extremely fucking hurt by what he said and did to me that day, but partially blamed myself because i figured meth made him become like that and it was my fault he did it in the first place. but essentially i’m responsible for him starting meth and all the symptoms that come along with it since i introduced it into his life. but at the same time i pay the price for it since he emotionally, mentally, and a few times but never too heinously physically abuses me everyday. that’s another thing i won’t get into, but let’s just say that evil side he morphed into never went away. dealing with that alone is super hurtful especially when it hasn’t stopped for months and it’s a vicious and continuous cycle that won’t stop until i stop. the most painful part of all this though is knowing i have to leave him and leave him in this state hoping things change for him since i can’t handle the abuse myself and put up with it for over 2 months letting myself feel trapped with someone i used to love but now feel so hurt by that i am now internalizing ways i could let him go as gently as i can, but letting him go forever.",6.610777960346155,6.56476385586592,7.114899769963852,75.30900208127944,65.18994413407822,10.416255887829994,32.52108664694929,10.10285432688625,3.108581553291708,3661,134,694,76,51,1203,356,895,0.18899999999999997,0.6890000000000001,0.122,-0.9977,4,3,9,0,2,0,57.0,0,14,7,13,42,52,10,3,25,4,60,18,4,16,10,156,128,71,2,11,35,0,13,7,1,7,10,4,0,6,62,49,0,4,26,0,2,15,20,29,0,8,34,22,102,23,105,73,19,109,1,10,4,4,65,43,3,9,54,469,164,3,0.08814841726875687,0.10444146032761656,0.0,0.1441421790270211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912951761187206,0.097273970405325,0.0,0.07334654459008479,0.09550877328267833,0.0,0.0,0.0924313013083787,0.0,0.049791310532129866,0.0,0.030817711453551187,0.0,0.0,0.07847077991891356,0.0,0.0,0.08281833969245443,0.0,0.03680012322878145,0.16120337100901544,0.09735300140392232,0.037503905329001976,0.0,0.0,0.03898005588453373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04493659309477385,0.04527635306703227,0.18649867481464602,0.07593205628275647,0.04621096920623565,0.0,0.0,0.03518966924355415,0.0,0.04841344861946606,0.05684843680173361,0.04543857381003739,0.11388315394265874,0.0,0.04574207014233817,0.09209633461160507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10222417876145183,0.0,0.0,0.049577552487374284,0.039036666931861336,0.045540439297922564,0.0,0.0873317973877365,0.0,0.07426884335899024,0.12634438532659606,0.039611056799200885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337114650040245,0.0,0.16927260819155562,0.0,0.0,0.1874474967454119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08149179136029329,0.13816172949351427,0.0,0.07514516537236147,0.0,0.035250170900495134,0.0,0.0,0.04364039588524512,0.03897467713807156,0.0,0.07896366775914593,0.04351415631485151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05222814944077925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04377563391931047,0.04340421743161736,0.0,0.18872940763026805,0.049754416817100036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04876158171666035,0.04589650597074952,0.12111016212660555,0.0359263625432835,0.0,0.09333644626092676,0.0,0.2253443222382347,0.0933927509629884,0.15072702445140956,0.0441739357617074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861553143183162,0.0,0.0,0.07955738812903865,0.08340816375926212,0.029419876505286505,0.0,0.0442784665495124,0.14402920199954208,0.0,0.0,0.13324930781685088,0.046755770371639235,0.0,0.0,0.1055388385184494,0.0,0.03239961458971,0.0,0.10197824036282548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046248467881870405,0.04693759376905155,0.059731648840279324,0.06704084345269941,0.04689806544973785,0.0,0.0,0.047728072950754416,0.0,0.0,0.11545169687418698,0.1381445019174076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04430675305565912,0.0,0.0468783460842374,0.0,0.0501660984981643,0.1694103998147697,0.045315627025223335,0.0,0.04731920576119462,0.0,0.03763913335637455,0.04192466530351552,0.10514873914577988,0.08825194330174986,0.0,0.10536431392371408,0.0,0.09195802366678522,0.0,0.0,0.18229320416331415,0.14862377142598154,0.04410603850075215,0.0,0.14937573579878344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358785516035983,0.0,0.0,0.11054403579228933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041539420041067615,0.04580997848420077,0.0,0.035425179398962815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058561891600452436,0.028240973254365018,0.04330268620629687,0.03498999851881826,0.17990017843072126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029923494555705338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15226386089041138,0.0,0.03636583794789601,0.10398444070370567,0.10495216598526727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04085723296467,0.03977011798790802,0.14762183987865773,0.0,0.04248596433173794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08983076792683271,0.0626181065260797,0.04818822825650874,0.0,0.0
addiction,_2BRO2B,2020/03/03,"Decided to confront my amphetamine addiction today. So I’ve been dependent on Adderall for about 2.5-3 years now. Average daily dosage is around 90mg-120mg per day. What started as a great way to manage a hectic work load/become more sociable and confident has since taken a turn for the worse: I’m struggling more and more at work and I’ve isolated myself quite a bit from my friends and family. I live with my girlfriend (will have been dating 4 years in July) and don’t think she has any idea. I’ve spent so much money on the pills that I’m in a bit of a credit card financial crisis. 

I have been so afraid of what might happen if I quit (no motivation, crash, inevitable relapse, etc) that I never confronted the problem until now. I need to get my life back on track before the drug completely takes over my life. 

Any advice or tips for someone embarking on this journey for the first time? Seriously, anything will help at this point! Love you all - I wish you the best of luck in your own battles!",5.272307692307692,6.198410897435899,5.8117948717948735,80.11153846153849,68.23076923076923,9.076923076923078,29.35897435897436,9.265573868473778,2.4516666666666667,795,28,151,15,13,257,132,195,0.099,0.713,0.188,0.9642,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,3,0,7,8,13,3,2,12,0,12,6,0,2,2,21,25,12,0,4,2,0,0,0,2,3,5,0,0,0,6,7,0,0,4,0,3,1,3,7,0,1,5,0,16,6,26,17,10,27,0,0,0,1,8,12,0,5,13,96,22,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15405931175352153,0.0,0.1380959566066932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19220445814589704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11629405616666393,0.12580447751664314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10866611147172936,0.0,0.0,0.15607648463483045,0.12025263976283072,0.0,0.14830628637711302,0.0,0.30856898014103706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14817099670821393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09113950309746102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638859638191605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576088003783334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332236180266088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020644838359955,0.0,0.0,0.10918323490766826,0.0,0.07383370051751782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15580544709876534,0.0,0.0,0.12496852710783747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472360321880834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15953271824973633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996365398837051,0.0,0.0,0.1247878673346524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12754652950441922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14991784887496645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038862259151994,0.10478675273501012,0.1089944499950076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13359277701175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13522384898516665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006217520491549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11690110040093002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11973970703011115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10002679751213184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14773801427302244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10625481258838512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09055194528455436,0.0,0.0,0.08240464239778864,0.0,0.13395453342025726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537152318554262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217298481175723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16251065870047535,0.0,0.0,0.2057648216145191,0.0,0.14401682811910144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18201048230864506
addiction,dxrey65,2020/03/03,"It is fucking hard to quit vaping... Which I have to say, because in the past I tended to think it was easy. I vaped for 5 years, having a pretty stressful job where almost everyone smoked or vaped. I ""quit"" a few times; going on vacations or visiting family I'd just leave the mod home. And mostly it was no big deal, a week or two I'd get through fine, no withdrawals or big cravings. But then back to work was back on the vape.

Now the situation is I've taken an early retirement, and one of the big goals was to put that shit away. I quit buying fluids two months ago, and finally ran out of dregs three weeks ago. So that's how long it's been. I always figured that  the longer you go, the easier it would get. Not vaping would get to be the same kind of thoughtless habit that vaping can get to be.

But it's more like the third week is harder than the first. It's just fucking distracting, like ""something is missing"" or ""there's something I should be doing"" every 5 minutes...",2.860075757575757,4.407125954545457,4.075643939393942,87.88346590909094,74.8080808080808,7.374242424242425,22.476010101010104,8.07648339933343,1.0345040404040406,761,20,160,12,16,249,119,198,0.11,0.809,0.081,-0.5984,1,0,3,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,0,6,9,10,3,2,14,0,19,3,1,1,0,23,32,13,0,3,10,0,1,2,0,3,0,1,1,0,12,4,0,0,2,0,1,5,3,6,0,6,7,2,8,4,18,19,4,31,0,1,0,2,4,9,3,7,19,104,20,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221680339085285,0.0,0.12520922014628585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040430658541508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11747893535693968,0.19229565674210966,0.0,0.0762230542671872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12891046343512408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10535135913622322,0.11948081332077055,0.0,0.0,0.11787632213494442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369749041196533,0.0,0.10635872409299582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311944172000676,0.261312376755288,0.0,0.14212591169136116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11201103106717747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12542503679635528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12408263064846622,0.0,0.0,0.1302096293663886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13239901183062378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217618483902284,0.0,0.0,0.1106562196534161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09980551356134827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08473015202827032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11936456367818435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272103503874163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256994573286744,0.0,0.3989854090087828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994366060693217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12835147829051138,0.0,0.14054988706362798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925233745572894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432325796735313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801204053036308,0.0,0.0,0.07291166774014905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442912798258396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3008979693604337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09103040720538008,0.0,0.0,0.17764926261668382,0.0,0.0,0.08052148171004216
addiction,fffffdddsss,2020/03/03,I say the word nigga and niggka a lot I’m a white male from San Diego...I don’t have any black in my family nor do I have an attraction to African woman I just like to say the word...many people see this as odd or weird .. I like the word...should I continue to use it in my daily verbor or should I get n card in a nearby “hood” or “favela” or maybe I should just ....s t o p.,-2.1618930481283414,-0.3991746117647068,1.1671657754010702,100.45770053475937,95.11764705882356,4.973262032085562,11.256684491978607,6.574015621080383,-1.0999411764705878,278,3,75,4,11,99,56,85,0.053,0.84,0.107,0.6124,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,7,0,6,0,0,1,0,12,10,7,0,2,6,0,0,2,0,2,0,2,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,9,3,8,8,1,4,0,0,3,0,4,3,0,5,3,41,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2180091659810417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3022195232632054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16749271714498656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132438106941973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725503686546313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250234277718885,0.3220712725837457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22225365349231752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5098849902489915,0.0,0.0,0.2554651753983529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768829821074125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Upstate_NY518,2020/03/03,"We are all taking on today together Something to think about especially if you're having a tough day, it helps me to not feel so lonely knowing that so many of us are all going through similar situations. 

Hoping for the best for everybody.",10.020666666666667,8.102233400000003,10.229444444444443,61.7975,59.444444444444464,13.444444444444445,40.27777777777778,12.161744961471696,5.017444444444443,193,8,32,5,2,65,40,45,0.091,0.726,0.183,0.7058,0,2,1,0,0,0,3.0,2,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,2,9,9,3,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,1,3,2,8,9,3,4,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,2,2,25,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3312163819187762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035442812522252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15958342082091198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793701467247202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115487475740958,0.0,0.0,0.3134749324257534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17345265614514585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3199820544285856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35476224658445826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429743143338322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23730170478069285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022320727294913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2991642295476045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3796435902801549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,thumbsdrivesmecrazy,2020/03/03,"Smoking and Tobacco: Have Regulators Slammed Into a Wall Data show that perhaps a big wall has been hit in the quest to more or less do away with people’s consumption of tobacco. Total sales of tobacco products in the US keep getting bigger, even though many government entities there keep raising the price of cigarettes via imposing higher taxes. Paralleling this, we see that per capita daily cigarette consumption in the US has held steady: [Smoking and Tobacco: Have Regulators Slammed Into a Wall?](https://www.reportlinker.com/insight/smoking-tobacco-regulators-slammed-wall.html)",15.05347826086956,14.101567391304355,12.875652173913045,43.71608695652176,49.0,16.59130434782609,54.52173913043478,14.90622815163357,8.644078260869566,488,29,56,17,4,152,64,92,0.017,0.983,0.0,-0.1027,0,0,7,0,0,0,24.0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,0,6,0,0,0,1,11,12,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,3,0,11,9,3,10,0,0,1,0,3,10,0,1,0,39,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543128442997947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.178781639219557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414191692780165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4811857821167713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744271150106523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876554848571724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21569697775590266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26594180312813465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6511896137357991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,lukeytukes,2020/03/03,"Vivitrol: yes or no? & Why/why not.  Thanks y'all. I'm so ready to put the daily bullshit and hurting myself/those I care about, to an end for good. Currently detoxing atm, but am strongly considering getting the shot at the moment--my main hesitation stems from side effects I've heard of (albeit, primarily from other addicts). 
All the best to you + yours.",2.959789915966386,5.537534558823534,4.3368067226890785,81.27205882352945,78.41176470588233,6.8268907563025225,27.36134453781513,7.957251820313856,2.008346218487396,282,12,51,5,7,93,58,68,0.135,0.648,0.218,0.8057,1,0,0,0,0,1,19.0,0,3,0,3,2,6,0,0,5,1,1,2,0,1,1,6,6,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,1,1,4,5,9,5,3,5,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,1,2,29,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3433196965931757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3412260375838567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33049913479629184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3210916668119053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2789341066755301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16453769247379615,0.0,0.0,0.2641479661518179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3371385985171294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31659118348514986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2899448189948343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28417493616196426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Whatsareality,2020/03/03,"Relapse. Aaaagain. High on meth yet again. Shortly after my 90 days clean i started drinking pretty heavy. Caused a blowout fight with the wife whos not an addict. So she throws me outta the house and i end up at a friends. Just what i wanted, now i can finally drink in peace and just forget about my problems for a bit... ended up getting black out drunk, cheating on the wife with a true mongoloid, and smoked some meth. One of the worst nights of my life. A week of sobriety later and now im high again. I know where this road will lead and yet i keep heading in that direction. I know what i want for myself and my family and i know that drugs will only hold me back. Its late n i didnt really have anyone to talk to lol so i figured id dump my bs on yall i guess.",-0.08092592592592496,2.142194425925929,1.6998641975308644,97.30238888888893,89.30864197530865,4.4745679012345665,17.976543209876542,5.985473137389443,-0.3674701234567901,595,16,135,5,20,194,109,162,0.12300000000000001,0.76,0.11800000000000001,-0.1935,0,0,6,0,1,0,18.0,0,1,0,1,13,7,3,0,10,1,5,7,1,2,1,28,15,9,0,3,3,2,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,0,6,10,3,2,4,3,0,2,2,5,0,1,1,1,22,2,20,12,3,33,0,0,1,0,8,14,0,2,17,86,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764212251533268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11315699084938916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124439141654495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17667908840164598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16624647412322732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043685228325834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3170683226922464,0.18767422879746304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28667097941111225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15256120285164074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772795057947226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250313262429203,0.0,0.08455076005885484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17827665576922475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16608675156579247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3419696738753066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18673288463380708,0.0,0.0,0.17480678417374493,0.0,0.0,0.1438440906391745,0.0,0.0,0.2668165972320923,0.0,0.18255401867470336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143070241933921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15186876333343718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10966183604233136,0.12308084785183282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646417509367609,0.0,0.154851769986349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367399220263568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11454581981702686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13007476908621926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19090590848906447,0.0,0.12981220573625638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,FilmNerdNoir,2020/03/03,"From Cigarettes to Vapes I’ll keep this as short as this story can be.


Oy vey. Here I go again. When I was 13 I picked up smoking. I was starting up with weed, but the cigarettes were the real death in my life. I smoked until about two months before my 16th birthday. My present to myself was keeping my goddamn lungs. 

Cut to me now 21 years old, 6 years and five months clean. My life has gone to absolute shit. I have no money, but I do have debt. I have a job, but it’s insane in more ways than I can count. I needed a way to cope with the stress. Nothing was working. Psych meds weren’t putting a dent in it.

Then I bought a pack of disposable vapes. “Just to curb the stress.” Now I have a refillable pod vape and I didn’t even feel the slide downhill happening. As I plugged the thing in to charge, I just started feeling like I couldn’t face my own relapse anymore.

It seemed so simple at first. “I quit once, I can do it again.” Even as I write about my own addiction, I keep looking over to see if my vape is charged. 


TL;DR I went from cigs to clean to vape and that sucks.",0.6321666666666665,2.733336488888892,1.806694444444446,98.80737500000002,84.1111111111111,4.9944444444444445,20.041666666666664,6.21433560688645,-0.1560333333333337,830,24,195,7,24,262,134,225,0.172,0.775,0.053,-0.9825,3,0,3,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,3,13,6,3,2,11,0,20,6,3,1,0,23,37,15,1,3,6,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,2,0,8,5,0,4,3,0,3,5,4,5,0,3,10,4,31,1,31,25,3,32,0,0,2,0,1,9,2,2,17,127,39,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15953022797951147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14512816273694998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12452302180341228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19330998936146768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14798597218075746,0.10454403253709403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244751900873312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08316736602936774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12940637857497994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14521807372378095,0.3902163226657587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20672598337737488,0.07149344805361288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228872238098018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16254874006838224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336114950279038,0.0,0.0,0.10850791401556906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14041544055313504,0.0,0.1535573142025584,0.15584539692679655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14711030033775588,0.0,0.15564867872683327,0.0,0.16656489830269305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11661259136372515,0.13322079255841454,0.0,0.0,0.15021404961789586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20715784887707145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33525980559850915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722059130430112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14295114835343026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323128882828189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13565696869846716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10653594556765697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884739935993857
addiction,DrTootie,2020/03/03,"Can you ever date a non addict in good faith? Had several years several times and I always end up back. The girl I love who loves me won’t date me because she’s had an addict ex boyfriend that wrecked her. The more I think about it. I left every one of my non addict girlfriends traumatized during a relapse. I never wanted to date addicts because of whatever reason but now I think it’s the only fair thing to do. 

What are your thoughts?",1.5423863636363606,4.022326647727272,2.860181818181818,90.23027272727276,83.6590909090909,5.3381818181818215,22.43636363636364,6.742157984588678,0.7177236363636368,347,12,68,4,10,112,66,88,0.022000000000000002,0.836,0.14300000000000002,0.8504,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,0,4,4,0,0,6,0,6,6,0,1,2,9,12,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,13,4,7,8,1,13,1,0,0,2,10,3,0,0,10,46,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6822525127471025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13018621098371044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203071186645578,0.0,0.19075159969932692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13857601024545435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14152589390988546,0.13182324218660876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13123017367808118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16999288618669345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2824202550826121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067063090537687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10602049601361484,0.11899392724001452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608656498744554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35350769933707715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10394423920186023,0.20050489484000045,0.0,0.12421076834494472,0.09123235346504882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922834225670242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10075430323554156
addiction,lavagirl26,2020/03/03,"Any differences between withdrawals and actively being high? My bf is a heroin addict.. he recently relapsed but swears he hasn't used since Saturday.. today I went out with my mom for about 6-7 hours and he started texting me about how sick he was and how he couldn't stop sweating, throwing up and dry heaving.. I get home and his face is completely flushed, his pupils are really dilated, his speech is slurred, his eyes keep closing and he cant even keep water down without throwing it up. Idk whats going on cos he wouldn't tell me if he got high he just keeps swearing that he's sick and needs me to take care of him. Any ideas/advice?",4.428468941382327,5.575565582677168,4.779475065616797,85.92954505686791,70.33858267716536,7.8491688538932625,29.85914260717411,8.167268648758528,1.9928817147856528,507,20,101,7,9,160,93,127,0.11699999999999999,0.81,0.073,-0.7832,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,1,0,10,7,3,4,0,25,22,11,0,4,4,1,0,0,1,1,3,1,1,0,3,10,1,4,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,0,3,2,12,1,13,16,0,18,0,0,1,0,18,8,0,1,6,52,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19151838263766624,0.0,0.1716735843947496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389384097648339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17911863873956038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18419834101796476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183549407648043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11603574124825912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09178614876517263,0.0,0.09984364488105003,0.0,0.14050826269176753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37123355647716905,0.17622251543100015,0.0,0.17301054233262245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4684604287368153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20575563704009772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302653450624899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254584186785073,0.0,0.17346393914292216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14532526091749068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243480206545252,0.0,0.0,0.14687730606050264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13209035937375396,0.0,0.15355306665672222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16652518627809887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517321052488299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16285818410537012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693503573043117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,unluckyflashlight,2020/03/04,I did it again I ate to many spent the night hugging the toilet again. Three days later I still feel awful but I know I’m going to do it again.,-1.892187500000002,-0.028083343749996104,0.5497499999999995,102.52025,101.1875,2.5600000000000005,9.525,3.1291,-2.1586700000000003,111,1,27,0,5,37,23,32,0.069,0.865,0.066,-0.0258,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,1,2,2,0,0,0,3,8,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,4,1,2,5,0,8,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,18,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3289837918962035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579308963260654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2899117118861906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28034741227825377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5171794017352312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4787110162722668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4073807487480168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,fml2021,2020/03/04,"12 hours sober, what’s ahead I have been using fentanyl for about a month. After seeing what it does to people last night and after missing work today because I was out until 4 in the morning trying to get drugs I’ve decided to stop, I am about 12 hours sober, I don’t feel like absolute crap but I don’t feel good, is it about to get worse? What should I expect if anything?",4.18346153846154,4.540473500000001,5.0170769230769245,86.87792307692308,70.41025641025641,7.2656410256410275,24.57435897435897,6.742157984588678,0.7942174358974352,295,7,62,2,5,96,56,78,0.127,0.799,0.075,-0.4423,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,3,4,1,0,2,0,8,2,1,1,0,11,15,4,0,3,2,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,3,6,2,14,12,0,13,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,1,12,38,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19248980982617872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425907059049198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204698142353465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712638895621656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.236546072990478,0.16710692227660967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24441894005334425,0.0,0.0,0.19619445530499366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4607127975614469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906696626842761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11427768546179715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867064862296139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21951075386745408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16216526705024414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863977385278095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955610729296687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22172141477692425,0.0,0.0,0.15881102926568788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20202503774215155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17029086733690704,0.0,0.23837651527681294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,goodNonEvilHarry,2020/03/04,"this song is very inspiring to me. Maybe it will inspire someone else Emilie Autumn : One foot in front the other

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMfGpxFIILU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMfGpxFIILU)",22.17818181818182,29.082783181818186,12.3,26.470000000000034,35.36363636363637,9.854545454545457,29.181818181818183,10.125756701596842,3.731472727272728,178,4,15,3,2,44,22,22,0.0,0.737,0.263,0.7994,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,2,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,10,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4424341150621372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5320799650229789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3588879211767856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4487499368921442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4369964746116735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,disregardthisservice,2020/03/04,"IV users, I have a question. I’m a meth IV user. 

I have a rig that is fairly new and in really good condition. 

My problem is, I was backloading (Yeah, yeah... I know), and then my plunger wouldn’t go in the rig. 

I thought it was clogged, so I removed my medicine and tried to unclog it, but it doesn’t seem clogged. 

I had done a shot with this same rig about an hour ago no issues. 

Any ideas?",-1.2313052208835344,0.8197825662650615,0.7556927710843411,101.96398092369478,96.83132530120486,4.212449799196787,18.964859437751006,5.985473137389443,-0.3325092369477911,295,10,73,3,12,96,57,83,0.12,0.851,0.027999999999999997,-0.5864,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,6,2,10,2,0,0,0,13,15,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,5,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,5,0,10,1,5,9,1,8,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,4,44,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25182097439380197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19318505811208184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2907138498022618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16144997664838814,0.2382739564401329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797629038163085,0.0,0.0,0.320693263238042,0.0,0.2965071205188206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15612367941702354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274367535990055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718274838818711,0.0,0.0,0.3182361246784615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18198978576037927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586169897462041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255288580095975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19287258761028836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,DaSpoot365,2020/03/04,"Quitting nicotine soon, need help. I’ve been smoking cigarettes for around 7 years and I switched to a nicotine vape around a year- year and a half ago. I want to quit when I run out of juice with this vape but I’ve never seriously tried quitting before and the longest I’ve ever gone without nicotine was on vacation in a really relaxed stress free environment. I’m just looking for any tips and what to expect for a good while here after I quit.",6.584659090909092,6.505219965909093,6.694454545454544,78.41418181818182,65.25,9.312727272727274,34.64545454545455,8.841846274778883,2.851129090909091,359,15,68,5,5,115,62,88,0.046,0.75,0.204,0.92,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,4,7,5,0,1,6,0,2,0,0,0,2,16,7,7,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,8,0,0,0,1,1,2,2,2,0,1,3,1,4,4,15,4,0,17,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,10,42,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15145266174823313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161872688781956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3041943729361754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14538503346089074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545481424490909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14330508018647742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452051489816226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14347518143038218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266868285193885,0.13177392023017784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7269013564598221,0.0,0.0,0.10945409742278613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957138421037552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159993397776576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077471438307517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16469813721536253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3300750833353556
addiction,consume_more_drugs,2020/03/04,"Brain fog I'm 10 days clean today. Poly addiction is a bitch, anyways I'm experiencing brain fog. It feels like I can't really function as I used to. I'm struggling with basic conversations, especially with smalltalk. Everyday tasks take me a lot longer since I have to think about everything I'm doing. This leaves me frustrated af. Like writing this post literally took me 20 minutes

Is this something that's normal when you're quitting drugs? Anyone else experiencing the same thing?",4.164999999999999,7.296334590909094,4.871545454545455,75.80981818181822,78.0909090909091,8.065454545454546,28.11818181818181,8.841846274778883,2.848291818181817,396,17,66,10,10,127,67,88,0.11800000000000001,0.795,0.087,-0.5661,0,0,2,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,3,5,2,1,3,0,5,4,2,1,0,9,14,2,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,6,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,3,6,2,6,13,2,6,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,6,30,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21967064643204207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14089727189337142,0.20646611119539685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44989337153188197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12995432300090567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23368230847928814,0.0,0.16833191820912966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18110007448907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10188719273941052,0.14395550924045145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21336514014364694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19689073536094687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17131269852828931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974325237375344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19298648700121285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21432581339135254,0.0,0.0,0.12908952913999197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16668736216850166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15512871367157227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21065721200847348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15150699494977135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13387124439553874,0.12911653394999847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19100357267601428,0.0,0.2238799311911072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17403598122256606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,uformated,2020/03/04,Im at a loss as to what i should do... To start this off the person in this situation is my friend and shes under the legal age to smoke weed. Ive been trying to help her to become better with a hopefully successful reintegration into school. After resolving that she came to me with her weed addiction. I attempted to go with the not exactly healthy way of cold turkey and then the slower kinda boiling frogs way. Im kind of mentally drained at this point and im not exactly sure if i should have come here or somewhere else. To round it all up im asking if anyone could suggest possible ways to rehabilitate my friend because ive seen an addictive personality in my mother and im very worried for my friend. This isnt a friend = me situation and i can fill in any details i missed. Thanks in advance.,1.9130392156862759,4.287103586419757,4.151161946259983,82.27375816993467,81.03703703703705,7.515468409586058,24.344226579520697,8.4952907291091,1.8881324618736384,639,24,126,15,17,220,102,162,0.079,0.736,0.185,0.9595,1,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,6,1,13,0,0,8,0,12,3,0,0,4,26,21,10,0,6,5,1,1,0,4,2,2,0,0,2,7,11,1,0,1,0,0,5,3,2,0,0,3,3,17,11,27,15,1,23,0,2,2,0,14,11,0,5,4,81,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24962238309708865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07785724591744247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08005419329610444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10703285980002078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06979214881129818,0.12644540468379686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125725698927046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13094626115286942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09862314922690356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09141108962277752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564185123765817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3538193048078237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06506740561677407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674035182258791,0.0,0.0,0.1137145782131776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6183451850686487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192239003903973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11537916933059715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999368117012769,0.0,0.0,0.10823022309610154,0.12907047130985408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587017075143055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573835102165045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810367360607709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10790563622440913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10540717209404526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773131437316139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446638582633003,0.0,0.2726309185966909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11627033151508605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,da_throwawayaccount,2020/03/04,"I’m going crazy I all I can think about is getting high , it doesn’t help I’m unemployed in a town we’re the only thing to do is drink , does this feeling ever go away because I’m so close to just saying fuck it right now",1.1166000000000018,2.17649806,3.209,94.31950000000002,78.4,5.8000000000000025,20.5,5.985473137389443,-0.10720000000000016,173,4,42,1,4,59,40,50,0.122,0.7879999999999999,0.09,-0.3767,2,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,5,1,1,0,2,0,5,2,0,0,2,6,14,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,1,1,0,2,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,5,14,1,10,0,0,0,1,2,6,1,0,2,23,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28548215690086826,0.0,0.0,0.18522743563902336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659059140466453,0.0,0.0,0.2976626196022976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748546114084416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15363842345981313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2809094272312694,0.15875190883015006,0.0,0.3453760599538436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20366787411241494,0.3210399199956293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23109572904265596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25949085708213565,0.0,0.24163801526905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201868030539801,0.19469827546833607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Trapzor,2020/03/04,"I'm fucked I have a chronic pain disease that even after several major surgeries they just can't fix.

It's the result of 25 years of the UK NHS ignoring my complaints of bowel pain until finally they opened me up and the consultant surgeon responded with ""Oh........ fucking shit"".

So I'm on 150mg of morphine a day, even though everyone from me to my specialists know that it's the worst thing for me. Chronic Pain Syndrome the more strong analgesics you take the worse the pain gets. So over the next six months, I'm going to be weaned off.

Now my actual problem. I have panic attacks that lead to seizures. Bad seizures. My medics will give me 10x 5mg diazepam twice a year. It's not enough. So I have an online plug who is fucking awesome and supplies me with Serbian (Galenika) alprazolam (1mg), diazepam (10mg) and clonazepam (2mg). Alongside this, he can also get me Lyrica (400mg). It works. It really does, but I am aware of just how short the window is between working and addiction. I have a psychiatrist next week and I'm in two minds whether to tell him/her about this.

If I tell my GP what I'm doing they'll cut me off and never, EVER prescribe controlled drugs again. However, my shrink could find the fact that clonazepam works to stop my seizures (alprazolam is NOT legal in the UK).

What do I do?

I've had to destroy my career. My wife is a caregiver and all I do is cause her pain and hurt and although she refuses to agree I know I am dragging her down and she would be better off without me.

I had two accidental ODs in January from morphine and alprazolam mixed with a serious lung infection. I also discovered I am allergic to Narcan so when they hit me with it I went from a thready respiratory rate to my lung shutting down. After the second I'm ashamed to admit I was angry and upset that I woke up.

We have no children which make life easier. We chose not to given my physical problems and her serious depression. Who the fuck would force these genes on their children? The worst part is I love kids. My niece and nephews adore me and I them. My wife just cannot interact with me and I know that causes her upset.",3.3492823290453617,5.153212303317538,4.491432633716993,84.33633649289102,74.07109004739338,7.571672308733921,28.17088693297224,8.329178653251315,2.0035372241029106,1680,68,330,29,35,550,226,422,0.204,0.7340000000000001,0.063,-0.9955,2,0,1,0,1,0,59.0,2,1,6,7,18,31,8,4,22,0,31,23,4,7,4,59,56,30,1,6,10,3,0,0,0,4,14,0,1,3,21,24,0,4,5,0,0,3,8,27,0,5,6,0,58,4,44,42,7,36,0,2,0,5,33,16,5,1,17,228,79,7,0.0,0.0,0.09238303810102548,0.10320290468921688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15141312089129885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769936322565836,0.0,0.0,0.0790444469988083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08372681097344352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19450175577169496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10617904634328704,0.07558528888980069,0.0,0.0,0.06105350818805572,0.0,0.08153805056497987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284525591429573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097856878069732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781811919509388,0.0,0.1250556252581002,0.08563329891700812,0.0,0.09046004191759899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10370498177860103,0.08652551702907058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3500789137563952,0.09892102295708716,0.0908148856402603,0.05380242890823416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134484853354923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15608239785044672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668673336379231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08544223765548581,0.0,0.06319212179471301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09536880001335313,0.0,0.0,0.09558844450523714,0.0,0.07556368833988816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07301437158491826,0.0,0.20136256666574076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5036710917708516,0.11107337366885704,0.0,0.10251702444736856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18117040560135064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06064722159558965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694873443467184,0.09717610538165844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914730904473402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07117911388487723,0.0,0.16548931005638087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06289370701266532,0.0,0.09301156040865244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18495521413819951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593755617813341,0.0,0.0,0.08775887421670353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125729104044963,0.0,0.2067599195897828,0.0,0.0964755380044674,0.13449991924470886,0.0,0.0,0.1219271347141282
addiction,flookadraw,2020/03/04,"Stoping drawing hentai Ok so after some events in starting to see the patterns. Cause like when I would go to start drawing I would always go back to drawing hentai but I started noticing that when I'm not drawing I can be such a sober Steve but when I get back into drawing hentai it's like a flip is switched and even though I don't partake like no wanking I end up going on like a huge nudes binge and if I don't stop at the vary least I would end up in a cycle of l
Constantly looking for nudes if not have a full lapse but I see the patterns I've been a year and a half sober from wanking and I'm 6 months or so from actively looking for porn I want tonight be my last night of drawing lewds and falling back into paterns",1.639069124423962,3.4150160451612908,3.0401152073732725,92.98588709677419,78.87096774193549,5.2027649769585285,25.91013824884793,5.773587663045528,0.6381428571428573,577,23,125,3,14,188,89,155,0.013000000000000001,0.8109999999999999,0.17600000000000002,0.9667,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,11,5,0,0,10,1,11,3,2,1,0,22,25,17,0,6,8,0,0,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,1,4,12,5,18,19,3,34,0,0,4,3,0,10,0,4,24,82,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13302430138454802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36878952750095456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642301016262542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727622263875559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28319400053614097,0.0,0.0,0.10559235295119818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352525965001924,0.0,0.2725727076019889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13031504906788294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3124168151066077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685003739864457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276063772903009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15002677541068654,0.0,0.0,0.1820125818287428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547907212970284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33946954475802504,0.0,0.0,0.133658131324209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15707105529946508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429522315454326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3407002983388394,0.0,0.0,0.10295077103881488
addiction,DetroitCam2,2020/03/04,What is the worst case of gambling addiction you have seen? What is the worst case of gambling addiction you have seen?,4.622727272727271,7.166974909090911,3.7181818181818183,87.99727272727276,72.63636363636364,8.036363636363637,29.181818181818183,8.841846274778883,2.4060181818181814,96,4,18,2,2,28,11,22,0.3,0.7,0.0,-0.8611,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,2,0,2,4,2,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,14,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Pappedi,2020/03/04,"I don't know what I am I have worked since a few years in a few restaurants and since almost a year in fine dining. Just because  cooking is a hobby of mine. But after work I would always take a drink. And now every day I take a lot to drink, because I worked hard. Or I take a lot to drink on my free day's  (to celebrate). I live with my mother and I don't have to pay rent so I have a lot of money to spend.  I spend it all on clothes, going out for dinner, or go out at bars ,getting drunk, even if I'm tired and somewhere know I should do it . But somehow  the more tired I am the more I want to drink. Am I an addict?",-0.2257166574432752,1.2289487194244657,2.077841726618704,99.20964582180409,83.38848920863309,4.564692861095739,17.167127836192588,4.713530739802397,-0.9312749308245714,468,9,120,1,13,159,77,139,0.079,0.857,0.064,-0.4357,1,0,4,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,3,5,2,0,0,11,0,12,12,0,0,1,24,22,10,0,4,6,1,1,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,3,7,9,0,2,7,6,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,18,3,18,20,8,15,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,8,6,84,21,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14864688764254738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13653966235271706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134581388277152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662412733020012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17587516551288515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5343032766866208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09006107692796174,0.0,0.11488482228428328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07123976902233622,0.0,0.15498718042679369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12214714175061317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14987409334470594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204038099594014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34777199225506217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255882431097513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3075655799418676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31343962897454714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042560951724938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2978038130689923,0.0,0.0,0.09686255655355062,0.0,0.0,0.1756160754293424
addiction,ProtectronSean,2020/03/04,Help I can't do it. I have been clean for 7 years 2 months and 2 days. I don't want to throw it all away but that sweet relief from the stress and struggles of the real world is calling me. I got more drug paraphernalia. I got more drugs to. I got heroin. I want to shoot up. Knowing full well that it will put me into cardiac arrest and my husband is away on a business trip and I am alone.,0.5614411764705878,2.2361008352941205,2.297279411764705,97.5165073529412,81.82352941176471,4.720588235294118,18.86029411764705,5.148860815047168,-0.6110882352941176,301,7,73,1,8,99,59,85,0.23600000000000002,0.611,0.153,-0.7842,0,1,2,1,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,2,3,0,9,2,0,0,1,11,15,5,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,5,5,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,2,1,0,4,1,11,3,11,10,4,13,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,3,49,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034583207128564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3691340777116585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005928466110861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12669111314042292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4556288871168738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4713462998480567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13167329560300062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10796132393894664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15680094515271933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19748201287702286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22359801669870075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22502768702920226,0.20536751732549574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317373226634621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766281205955191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126504478427148
addiction,jowiththeflow,2020/03/04,"Addicted to Addiction I have a very addictive personality. It doesn’t take much for me to keep wanting more of whatever is satisfying me at the time. Granted, all of my “addictions” aren’t hardcore things - but I always have to be addicted to SOMETHING. Right now after quitting nicotine, I’ve turned to food and drinking. I know I know...it could be so much worse...but I still would like to know if anyone has any POSITIVE/healthy addictions they could share?",3.5175163398692817,6.315197117647062,4.4745098039215705,79.80418300653595,77.82352941176471,8.483660130718954,30.62091503267974,9.150863307647796,3.2265816993464065,365,18,65,10,9,118,62,85,0.0,0.878,0.122,0.8201,1,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,1,3,2,0,0,2,0,11,8,0,0,1,11,17,4,0,5,2,0,0,1,0,1,6,0,0,1,2,1,2,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,9,2,11,12,4,6,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,5,45,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.822614380481639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10464654195204524,0.0,0.0,0.08552450214567123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879378013651111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20082621311499352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232018056100076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15207551850414222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178569680249716,0.0,0.0,0.20735143937805803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06144241880674822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849034686686807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098131335102472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13376654176588998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074026096206565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682002941263262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043607910313332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09455961672132758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835526674147689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733345738548197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13679618884451336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376928341216572,0.07417944633434925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933983663662408,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,lobsterjellyhammer,2020/03/04,"Withdrawal related nausea is killing me On Friday I chose to quit sedative abuse cold turkey. Ever since I have had horrible nausea and vomiting. I haven’t been able to keep food down since Friday. Everything I eat just sits in my stomach for a half hour until I bring it up again, even glasses of water. 

Is there anything I can do for this or do I have to just wait it out? I feel nauseous because I’m not eating and also from eating.",3.4077339901477863,5.067676275862073,4.7192118226601,83.3648275862069,73.59770114942529,7.270279146141214,26.221674876847292,7.957251820313856,1.660988177339902,344,12,65,5,7,114,65,87,0.142,0.845,0.013000000000000001,-0.9186,0,0,0,0,1,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,7,1,1,0,1,0,10,7,1,0,1,11,15,5,1,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,5,2,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,2,2,10,0,13,13,0,11,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,4,49,13,0,0.2034983752139688,0.2411122983279844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16273757713667295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16746182361580686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240507207268048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6246889238068697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13440875758994053,0.1840759308828858,0.0,0.0,0.18289121799133332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028948929502134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460710430729172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004049079596712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18087870607571924,0.22514080138159445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164455711501844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3366719177423605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Suicidalbutbaked,2020/03/04,"Can can't save money and it's messing me up I've been selling a pound of weed (dealing marijuana without a license is legal in my place) so I can afford an RV since my family is leaving me. I sold over half a pound and I don't have a single $ to my name, I spent it alllllll, like fuck me and my GF went to the mall after I sold an oz and spent 50$ on a rubber ducky claw machine we now have 50 rubber ducks sitting around. I literally can't stop spending my money and it's fucking redicuals last 5 days I've spent 670$ on cigarettes, munchies, alcohol for concert, rubber ducks more munchies, and a shit ton of cigarettes and vape juice. Can someone give me advice",3.976634920634922,4.304598885714288,5.732380952380954,81.67039682539685,70.85714285714286,8.222222222222221,30.555555555555557,8.167268648758528,2.046246031746031,524,21,111,7,9,181,87,140,0.09,0.8759999999999999,0.035,-0.789,1,0,3,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,0,3,6,3,0,9,0,11,4,1,0,0,13,20,8,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,3,9,1,1,0,2,9,1,4,4,0,1,7,1,16,2,13,13,3,14,0,0,0,2,5,7,3,0,6,65,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23256383190804816,0.0,0.25434194921736064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21186406960334112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15348568198059506,0.24536014996445826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2243584524140991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4400410592248175,0.0,0.22830440166601315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19399591497192464,0.0,0.25200003577876096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11627127168491805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24865184552170866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442962124433655,0.1968701222798153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20165054635002988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19897265638269251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22062173098244933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22941658828026645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Creator_have_mercy,2020/03/05,"Ever since my relapse last year, I've lost the motivation to get straight As in school I had 3 years of sobriety, which meant 3 years of my brain healing itself. I was taking classes, majoring in psychology, and acing tests. My addiction at the time was completing a homework assignment. I LOVED the feeling of getting something done, getting a good grade. I even looked forward to writing assignments and having to do essays because I was good at it

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Since I relapsed on weed in june of 2019, which was a 2 month binder, and afterwards having marijuana induced psychosis for 4 months, now that I'm back in school I feel like I dont care anymore. Im in 4 classes and Im so behind in homework. I havent turned in any essays in all of my classes and Ill be lucky if I get Cs. I spend most of my free time playing video games. I feel like my brain chemistry has changed. 

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I know I'm capable, and if I sit myself down and focus, the homework is easy. I just feel like I stopped giving fucks. I guess I was so proud of the amount of clean time I had, and now I feel like .. I have to wait another 3 years to gain that motivation back. I dont know what to do",3.121585637823369,4.7137076483050855,4.304210526315789,86.32678412132027,74.21186440677965,7.171810883140052,28.946476360392513,7.85451343220497,1.8061220338983053,919,39,188,13,19,301,125,236,0.053,0.7190000000000001,0.228,0.9899,0,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,6,9,14,1,0,8,0,19,7,2,3,2,30,43,13,0,2,3,0,5,4,0,0,3,0,4,0,7,8,0,2,11,3,2,1,3,2,0,0,10,6,29,13,29,32,4,33,0,1,1,2,4,14,1,5,23,113,36,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096015039929816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217866247068679,0.2443298928633815,0.06836943981889776,0.10542309379332668,0.0,0.0,0.09970690263008183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15461537656906074,0.0,0.06128716809537967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2244678156014891,0.0,0.0,0.10250541973389847,0.0,0.1063561099379075,0.0,0.10541241488434833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102885509121747,0.2356600991592989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06640454865270172,0.0909425793920052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541757340646066,0.2872981088205626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294596789565747,0.21010828959262468,0.09644542545674238,0.0,0.16865338431912102,0.0,0.0,0.11075418834760106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21719706840226186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11050635704976937,0.08195207109369798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19647159116017635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442678683319,0.0,0.1097493477589829,0.0,0.09073967229669908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049730216893787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20350010002654276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16633251539998006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07739923657101279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405445694016918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559223219698177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758739404973683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10935671726833797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443298928633815,0.25897327953056337
addiction,tstu2865,2020/03/05,"Looking to understand the mindset of addiction Looking to understand the mindset of someone who has an addiction to alcohol, porn, weed or other drugs, to better understand and communicate with someone in my life. I figure maybe talking about it can help you too.. So if anyone is wanting someone to talk to, and also wouldn’t mind me picking their brain.. send me a message",10.826218905472636,9.202083462686572,10.379701492537317,60.42338308457714,57.65671641791045,13.112437810945272,49.19900497512438,11.855464076750405,6.217790049751244,300,18,44,7,3,98,51,67,0.0,0.917,0.083,0.6808,0,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,1,1,4,1,0,0,4,0,4,7,1,1,0,13,10,6,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,6,1,11,9,0,2,0,0,2,1,8,1,0,2,0,35,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36674860027190337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797658942357884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345178953947757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761670957937875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14876853913274118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877785755184743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19507080471400007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11274796861610355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11881206778758906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28250895077598165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16899008054584533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698446779673205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4275726937608226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704024952303896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5253392637274849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992149253316193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ananonymousaccount91,2020/03/05,"Is there anyone to who entertainment significantly helped to get cured out of strong drug addiction ? Is there anyone who was recovered from hard drugs and thinks that entertainment (music, cinematography..) played a major role in the process of recovery ?",13.061999999999998,13.2950572,11.090000000000005,51.17500000000004,52.0,15.0,40.0,13.816669648895859,6.078499999999999,208,8,29,7,2,64,33,40,0.03,0.722,0.248,0.8823,0,0,2,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,2,0,3,3,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,4,7,4,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,18,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3370888005946669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4324191070680025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7171799269944358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16155150420725553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2769949250992293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20725956408346324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19813178625852595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,squidguy3400,2020/03/05,"worried about the path im on i realized a few months ago that im always craving my next fix. right now its mostly weed, alcohol, and cough syrup (aka whatever i can get my hands on). but its gotten worse. i told myself i can just keep an eye on it but since going to college and having more time alone, ive started stealing alcohol from grocery stores since im not even old enough to buy it legally yet. i know this is going to end up becoming a bigger and bigger problem, especially when i go back to work at the pharmacy this summer. i was already having intrusive thoughts of “just put one pill in your pocket, no one will notice” but i know it will be much worse. i feel like my obvious next step is seeing a therapist, as i dont have one since moving. can you go to groups even if youre not a full blown addict? ive had success with group therapy before for mental health. ive also told one of my closest friends about the problem but i never brought it up again because im embarrassed, even though i know logically he wont judge me. what can i do?",3.3313888888888883,4.492531398148149,4.8074074074074105,84.64083333333336,72.98148148148148,7.807407407407408,26.92592592592593,8.278499904357787,1.7145148148148142,826,29,170,13,16,277,137,216,0.142,0.795,0.063,-0.9540000000000001,0,1,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,3,0,2,14,7,0,1,8,0,20,8,2,0,2,26,37,12,0,3,9,0,2,1,1,3,6,0,0,0,10,4,2,1,7,0,2,8,6,4,0,4,7,4,25,3,20,26,6,35,0,0,2,0,9,12,0,2,16,114,35,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160365783560992,0.0,0.0,0.09074909524983683,0.21881508298523,0.0,0.1060294321867309,0.112973152439218,0.0818691013913873,0.08518404593066703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871991238296512,0.0,0.06240673611803954,0.11306493836113272,0.08711342605107443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11998251900705882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09067369833134173,0.10578054888713616,0.0,0.2028527964462641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051763781738757585,0.07313658723990023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909452698007327,0.0,0.0534866147038048,0.0,0.2327278630259977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10881963951822277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4423294648660261,0.0,0.0,0.09099543810228528,0.0,0.0,0.1687875605470516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0500151627382373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031697332231666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171459944540381,0.10880822520912313,0.07525726734014028,0.0,0.07895776739990057,0.0,0.21775355120805606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11655440373739046,0.10742514550044116,0.0,0.2774872925104457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959177410515695,0.0,0.10291496370892976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874275313864845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08157947187007357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540565109876285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07246141993543356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11707452132280345,0.1188650490441397,0.0,0.0,0.10058273450599887,0.08127416656363963,0.059695577044653225,0.0,0.0,0.1956470430046237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453008352657131,0.10396659252944963,0.2086573622201924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,catnthetinfoilhat,2020/03/05,"I have no one except my mom, haven’t even seen her in years. She’s an addict. Just talked to her yesterday. Tried to convince her to quit. She won’t, but she said living sober is bullshit. Now I’m thinking maybe she’s right. Fuck everything I don’t care enough about myself to stay sober I want to feel numb anyways. I feel like it’s either that or suicide. I tried to keep my mind off everything but I guess I can’t without drugs. Maybe she’s right. Drugs are the only thing that can help me now.",-0.3008333333333297,1.981241096153852,0.9563076923076927,100.555358974359,94.76923076923076,3.927179487179489,15.587179487179489,5.6839178017228535,-0.8335351282051282,390,9,89,3,15,122,68,104,0.185,0.691,0.124,-0.8705,0,0,2,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,0,1,6,5,1,0,2,0,8,5,0,0,0,14,19,3,1,1,7,1,2,1,0,1,4,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,2,4,19,3,11,16,2,9,0,0,1,1,12,4,1,2,5,56,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17687643003975853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16542467066346092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37631693773025743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16764760418840755,0.0,0.10716458329662576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916396448577909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16407693254633274,0.11591141999431236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14999749445980814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17873664806761358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10875274325936628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14421523947847303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926714593913849,0.0,0.14326970720043986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3260038308194768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638262301633306,0.19002521867084346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099447872778086,0.1233984230376962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17257282824884662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771211972569628,0.15433688833247286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17293689341313082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17747514673547946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13041039010028976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10779167894417896,0.103963237488119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22031417564466496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09569924349435856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15640319333008548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044836692249856
addiction,h0neybear15,2020/03/05,"Apathy, I guess I've suffered from major depressive disorder, anxiety, ADD for the last decade or so. On meds for all. Shortly after beginning visits with my shrink, the guy I was dating started sharing his recreational drugs (mostly weed, pain pills and benzos) with me and I loved it all. Got pretty hooked on opioids for about 9 years and finally decided to quit those because the withdrawals made me want to curl up and die. I never really stopped smoking weed, I tried coke and research chemicals and acid and shrooms and MDMA. I got highly addicted to roxy's a couple of years ago and I thought I'd die from it. Somehow managed to kick those and not die. Then, last summer, my dumb ass decided to try meth. Guess who hasn't been able to totally quit since. I'm currently in a fucking terribly low mood and to help  I've done a bit of meth, waiting on suboxone & weed. I was going to NA for a while and had over 100 days clean when I relapsed this time (almost a month ago). I feel guilty and ashamed and dirty and worthless and all I ever want to fucking do is get high. I almost want to purposefully find a shit ton of pain pills and juat go to a clinic for subs when the pills run out. I hate myself, my life, this goddamn burning hole that refuses to be filled with anything other than fucking chemicals. Nothing but drugs and sleep and occasionally sex are enjoyable anymore. I'm always angry and exhausted. Nobody around me likes me because I'm so goddamn negative.
I'm rambling, sorry. I'm just really fucking alone and I figured this would be the place to find camaraderie. Hope y'all are doing better than I am.",4.431666666666668,6.056372331210191,5.2959394904458605,80.39618099787687,70.9108280254777,8.418046709129513,29.962314225053078,8.959647251330699,2.5846352441613587,1288,53,236,25,24,420,189,314,0.198,0.713,0.08900000000000001,-0.9858,1,1,5,0,0,0,38.0,0,1,0,3,9,23,7,1,12,0,15,21,3,1,6,59,43,29,3,5,4,0,1,1,0,1,11,0,1,1,10,27,1,3,7,0,0,5,4,16,0,0,9,2,25,6,38,31,8,41,0,4,0,7,9,13,7,8,24,141,35,2,0.09563546341405724,0.0,0.0,0.10425677144590943,0.0,0.0,0.16955013600578372,0.0,0.19153020419021968,0.0990494979502761,0.0,0.0,0.07957636675773629,0.10362098465305644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316086774597927,0.0,0.09484468169113487,0.0,0.0,0.07869983772018566,0.08513583833419214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11659698168186072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458179565623425,0.10440915668028783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10581882125206857,0.0,0.061676962177578676,0.0,0.0823706845025102,0.0,0.29776353639406744,0.0,0.10960652654049588,0.0,0.0,0.0978682829962706,0.0,0.0,0.22181355062033425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08650775189162464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04835616382630455,0.0,0.0,0.10476397554557874,0.17481816195589112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35365377950787674,0.04996558242565708,0.0,0.10870367555665593,0.0,0.15297683311613744,0.0,0.21070648997613134,0.09469414456605574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09442022065023599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641024352173933,0.2020882356964956,0.0,0.09498759401097573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15591133395544854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06755015608601103,0.04672265669025933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631473958897014,0.09049258785114772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062294403810816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633531448155823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375996512422668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917648064484996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20352575174815585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09991870429690293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09729564786181592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20344017468545636,0.0,0.0,0.12253305349808545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09816842887599206,0.07911064360571819,0.0,0.09570453020199003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10705607150132508,0.06769127323749853,0.0,0.0,0.07995552968673142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592387536583509,0.055765807796760894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12986040396290632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16922482245308318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793668929385291,0.0,0.0,0.12317220581363784
addiction,LostAndOrConfused,2020/03/05,"Just got past a huge urge to drink again First time in a while that I've really felt the desire to drink again, started yesterday afternoon and the feeling climaxed this morning. It took me everything to stay put and not go out to get booze. 
Thanks to this sub for giving me something to read and see other people getting past their addictions. It definitely helps.",7.433823529411764,7.8804765,6.831176470588236,76.36529411764708,63.411764705882355,10.329411764705883,33.17647058823529,10.125756701596842,3.27225294117647,294,11,52,6,4,91,53,68,0.0,0.77,0.23,0.9367,0,0,3,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,9,11,4,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,4,3,0,2,3,0,3,1,0,0,1,3,3,3,1,9,8,0,17,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,10,31,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22734144726787406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4085833283438873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874240081840061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054450479919002,0.0,0.2002329227407928,0.0,0.0,0.17738562918014494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21790906556366066,0.20005238803206316,0.11851916466264792,0.0,0.16679000393332846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13978123620755106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3981536711808408,0.14457669197848522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20964220392822544,0.0,0.0,0.20859832919483196,0.0,0.13359727782698164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16618089014259582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16054573904943298,0.0,0.0,0.1476070264961367,0.22227791247094816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191997358241338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160245590527673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316977183702332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,thinmugs,2020/03/05,"My friend relapsed. How can I help him? One of my best friends recently relapsed and began using heroin again. He was living in a recovery community but after relapsing, moved back in with his mom. A couple weeks ago we went to dinner and he ordered a couple drinks. I didn’t say anything, partly because it was a birthday dinner for someone else and it was a huge group of people and partly because I didn’t know what to say. He went out with the group after dinner, but I had to work early the next day so I chose to go home. I texted him when I got home and asked him to be safe, and to call me if he needed a ride. He said he was straight and got a little live with me. I called him on it, and he said he was just having 2 drinks and was on benzos but only as prescribed. 

Since then he claims that was a wake up call, and he got clean and is still clean, but my instincts are telling me otherwise. The first time he got into drugs at this level I did my best to text him and let him know I was there. I was there to listen and he finally gave in and let me. It strengthened our friendship a lot. I’m trying to do that now too, but he recently went through a break up and is heart broken. I can’t be there 24/7 and I am trying to urge him towards sobriety, but I know it is all up to him to make that change. 

How else can I support him?",2.1729257362355945,3.3148501338028176,3.612855313700386,92.15269526248402,75.83098591549296,6.290396927016642,22.06402048655569,6.574015621080383,0.2985408450704221,1034,26,236,8,22,341,142,284,0.022000000000000002,0.8320000000000001,0.147,0.9881,0,0,3,0,0,0,27.0,2,0,0,4,13,6,0,0,13,0,27,8,2,4,1,41,49,29,0,2,8,1,0,0,2,0,1,5,4,0,10,22,5,1,3,2,0,6,3,0,0,2,24,5,35,6,34,21,6,43,0,0,0,0,42,16,0,2,19,164,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878053254849727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08151293805390647,0.0,0.09260204598817363,0.0,0.0,0.07616635196092728,0.0,0.12076470321193898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20790196047745807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3034353884669237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10478591563766547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21920256182294245,0.0,0.06388158531163796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940702671261648,0.1148711022474882,0.0,0.16549368340248652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850873008518812,0.0,0.08425521564687839,0.0,0.0,0.15305762920160407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056294626701682234,0.0,0.3168898814204336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11737937476825645,0.06639375610351139,0.0,0.19871832071912754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16331233552077806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20257869317688654,0.0,0.0,0.09927805247324832,0.1749328561616446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421210247792649,0.0,0.0,0.06611926225464833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11601075654578312,0.0,0.10527864331458936,0.0,0.07344722822564459,0.0,0.0,0.10534497003355198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712150123851324,0.07533497139638465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21453149008105846,0.0,0.0686715176221449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19560759649525786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884459263208252,0.15754330938078875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193842806341134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08392806686311274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910459024582024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11240521710419844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657749400712579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057759138622690186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13450222224751346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555078526850156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945508157219643,0.0,0.0,0.2754719348571892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211243510975457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,frenchy_fries3,2020/03/05,"Adderall abuse result of weed over correction What’s up, just thought of a possible common occurrence in students and people with intensive jobs. Realized that I myself have done this and seen a few friends as well, where following a period of heavy smoking, ADD meds like vyvanse/Adderall/concerta are used to catch up on work/productivity. It’s like a cycle, you smoke a bunch of weed to relax and end up being too lazy, so you binge Adderall to catch up, but at the end you smoke weed again to chill out and sleep and it just seems to repeat. Noticed myself doing it as well as others in my college friend group, and realized I’d seen it happen in high school and at my job in a restaurant too. Anyone else notice this? Is it a common cycle of dependence?",6.134056316590563,6.659912664383563,6.496940639269407,77.37629375951295,66.1917808219178,9.502587519025877,30.605783866057838,9.444778638647367,2.697081582952816,603,21,110,11,9,195,91,146,0.03,0.856,0.114,0.8753,2,0,2,0,1,0,16.0,0,3,0,0,9,7,0,0,8,0,6,1,1,3,1,21,13,12,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,10,10,0,0,4,1,0,3,0,0,2,0,4,2,8,7,27,8,2,25,0,0,2,0,6,15,0,2,9,78,18,5,0.0,0.20572533532841145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12140741814502602,0.1779063367078312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17768565377629492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450471205477725,0.0,0.3075725432972392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26829505437459816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15354206075623386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18345156970618415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3446056144084236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696554909518636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19286582932206647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3953619963641771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12037445405711572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957438084789691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17572468963520288,0.0,0.15806790399551895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17375723265668996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13784428436455162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14996215938487598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31223174909114465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12640604587813334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,chubbybunnybean,2020/03/05,"Requesting advice for a loved one For a little bit of backstory/context. I am married to a wonderful woman, we have been together eight years this spring.

I knew early on that she had recovered from a cocaine addiction. The last time had been several years before we had even met. She went cold turkey and hasn't touched it in about ten years. Other then some shitty (former) friends offering her some early on in our relationship this issue has never really come up.

However, the other day my wife confided in me that she still thinks of it often. She must have seen the look of pure fear on my face because she quickly assured she she'd never, ever, ever ever touch the stuff again.

However I can't stop worrying about this. For example, shortly after this conversation we went to see the movie Birds of Prey. And there is a scene (no spoilers) where Harley Quinn is in the middle of a fight, a bunch of bags of cocaine were shot open, Harley breathes the stuff in, gets a rush of energy and wins the fight.

Two things, it sicked me to my stomach to see this drug portrayed in such a positive light and second, I couldn't help but worry/fear of how this was affecting my wife.

I am asking advice because I really have no idea/experience with addition. The hardest thing I've ever done is pot and that is extremely rare and I've only done it to fall asleep. I guess the advice I'm asking is what can I do or say if this happens to come up again? What can I tell her to let you know how much I love and support her and that I'm on her side?

Thanks.",5.350869192525288,5.715091925081433,6.047735299159958,80.48229384536262,67.8599348534202,9.459900565746613,28.535744899708554,9.414487439383343,2.3146781758957653,1219,38,241,23,19,399,172,307,0.042,0.8540000000000001,0.10300000000000001,0.955,2,0,3,0,2,0,34.0,4,1,0,1,17,10,2,1,19,0,29,9,4,3,9,41,53,14,0,3,3,2,2,0,1,1,3,1,0,1,23,16,0,1,4,0,0,6,7,3,0,5,14,9,32,7,36,35,5,47,0,0,4,2,34,18,0,7,23,178,55,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140703102415725,0.0,0.3067516354694895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956438580859539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12757208658222494,0.0,0.08903879790830369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423703927720925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18027186648463656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06748252523822205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21416096526615824,0.0,0.0,0.12134626933164552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06911207593237348,0.37860240480200585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023555445384084,0.0,0.23549253661246444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08084266596635316,0.0,0.05466877028368973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11526999324912016,0.0,0.09253058770267766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701363045400084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11812299079684045,0.0,0.10921435490911673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057506028535613776,0.0852935209282909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10699892393359868,0.0,0.0,0.10487425521681586,0.0,0.0,0.08786913879738176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888788418590661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07692059561405906,0.0,0.16140576748040522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090507192735764,0.0795815270359469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13406691223529366,0.0,0.0,0.11234150582431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08321193266837469,0.0,0.0,0.16676506569829802,0.0,0.0,0.1182105809293296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08356363546210037,0.08748162781567281,0.0,0.0,0.23956978574261986,0.0,0.11874138475333038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145777920031524,0.09633614320377668,0.0,0.0,0.1390329989796673,0.06704747914305093,0.0,0.0,0.061014962462642076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022156242650082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19400000491258404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347489543089725,0.0,0.10626445131451066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20214934054796724
addiction,Lillix3,2020/03/05,"Addicted to daydreaming I can’t stop daydreaming. Most of my day/life I spend with dreaming. Whenever possible, I will just „turn off“ my brain and start dreaming. At work, while driving my car, playing video games, watching tv, cooking. Sometimes I lay in my bed, awake, and just dream on. 


I love to create stories for myself. Short ones will take around 2 days. Long ones up to a month. Sometimes I’m one of the main characters, sometimes I’m just watching. I get pissed if my story gets boring and I need to create a new one just to keep myself busy. 


I can’t stay in the reality for long. Even when I’m with other people. I to turn my brain off and dream on. Now I’m at the point to forget about the reality. I forget about having a family (parents, siblings, boyfriend). I often need a moment when someone talks with me to realize who and where I am and who this person is. I get pissed when someone disturbs my dreaming for no reason. It’s not a problem for me to let my body do all this work while I’m mentally away. It’s all fine. I‘m just annoyed by other people. 


At some points I tell myself I need to stop daydreaming, but the reality is too boring for me. In my daydreams I’m free. I‘m able to do whatever I want to. There is also no need for me to take drugs or other stuff. If I want some, I just need to replay a special daydream about this topic and I will feel endless relaxed and happy. 
And to be honest, I don’t wanna stop my daydreaming, but I know I should. I love it too much. I love this feeling of leaving this world and wake up in a better place. But I fear it can’t go on like this forever. Any advice? Thanks for reading.",1.7445541044776114,3.769037540298509,3.4629617537313417,88.88086054104478,79.56716417910448,6.09794776119403,23.30457089552239,7.1686216300943375,0.8874048507462691,1276,43,264,16,32,425,159,335,0.09,0.731,0.179,0.9874,1,0,1,0,0,0,48.0,0,0,0,3,21,21,3,2,12,0,17,12,6,1,2,54,48,22,0,12,13,1,2,1,0,4,2,0,1,1,16,14,1,4,5,12,2,3,7,8,0,4,0,4,42,14,49,42,7,42,0,0,2,3,10,22,2,7,17,185,58,3,0.09616258581366402,0.0,0.0,0.1048314126676693,0.0,0.09396896591316813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690118513260179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06539385590886794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08560508902628068,0.0,0.0,0.090347914850691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504799258253902,0.0,0.10681495453580604,0.0,0.21469849728920545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12403382503515392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11151806994342503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351448099897851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065352765415123,0.10820964383061872,0.0972453854996034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15072294636983072,0.0,0.054651413585564974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023668607346627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08547372467510933,0.0,0.0,0.05284844229430922,0.0,0.0,0.1018222935953957,0.0,0.09833275920899268,0.0,0.046980182068726346,0.0,0.0,0.1702017247699823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603714644045434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690926881860856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675605855188332,0.0,0.07069056518197804,0.3565166945456568,0.0,0.09287442460583706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606490274184823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10677717147129494,0.0,0.0,0.13333405800891848,0.08396546076864653,0.1004694350122083,0.0,0.18180945217702574,0.10840886681088413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201460758278747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618860877507886,0.0,0.0,0.09887115407249752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16295649380106325,0.0,0.2853217687219983,0.0,0.0680643731850243,0.10249652163819424,0.0,0.241188682847344,0.0,0.0,0.11008315405956018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14460459390081948,0.07729184390301297,0.08405033853868353,0.08853358916636167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20919455916723328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11343836919917252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14001501552643372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Helpful-Listen,2020/03/05,"How to convince my brother to stop smoking weed illegally? Weed is cool normally but I live in a 3rd world country where it's illegal. They can lace it and really fuck him up.(it's happened to other people before). Not to mention he can go to jail.

How to convince him to stop? He quit a few months ago but then he got into his first relationship.  But she cheated on him. I gave him support but that was a few weeks ago. Now he's smoking everyday. He's young (18) and not in a great mindset. No girl liked him as much as she did, so he was devastated. He thinks that losing his virginity will make him feel better but I tell him it won't... his coworkers invite him to see prostitutes (also illegal) but I advise him not to go along. They also make fun of him for being a virgin... and were the ones to sell him illegal weed.  

I'm worried about the influence this min wage job has had on him. I don't know how to help other than to lend an ear. He hates his job too and the hours are horrible too. And the people are ghetto.

Also I'm worried about his sense of purpose. I voice noted a friend who was going through depression and asked if they felt they had a purpose. My bro was sleeping nearby and thought I was talking to him and he said no. He also doesn't know how to find it. I want to see if I could get him into therapy but my country is a shithole, and it's too expensive... so I'm looking for something online.

Sorry for the long post.",1.2816161616161599,3.383757346801349,3.3686430976430977,88.54407575757578,81.5925925925926,6.249562289562291,23.03131313131313,7.42949916751922,1.003613333333333,1120,39,235,17,30,380,154,297,0.195,0.7140000000000001,0.09,-0.9902,3,0,1,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,4,4,17,14,3,0,14,1,22,5,2,7,0,43,49,31,0,5,12,2,2,1,1,2,0,3,0,1,11,12,0,2,7,0,3,3,8,5,0,2,14,9,37,9,33,31,3,26,0,2,3,3,49,8,1,2,15,161,48,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21562297155814547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3890476014599775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370112358248295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10349224824793612,0.0,0.0,0.1075656944238543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971061001026045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10475374529398113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06149626289314571,0.0,0.11677719050093845,0.0,0.11116125427931396,0.10345249486126837,0.0,0.0,0.09396565824968912,0.11243853976863856,0.0635430180833716,0.0,0.20736352764133853,0.0,0.097273054782247,0.1340898298892073,0.0,0.0,0.10755085174122586,0.0,0.0,0.12007757133904726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08152135935306097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11977419434147972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413841989738285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13368168305887726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05941887344933253,0.0,0.10739537169412036,0.10763256228095623,0.10213272123368268,0.13606507069749016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16236864593161332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09707834939617886,0.0,0.08940692780766864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11916475522565165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08241491887054682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16863620297869725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11648125167021747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12936107287607815,0.0,0.0,0.07791483313363169,0.0,0.0,0.13057762775829407,0.0,0.0,0.11569136150596518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938356310257653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12171087372660927,0.0,0.0,0.09363135740349507,0.0,0.1361470347606773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033646130837718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13801638338436414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09775599176734308,0.10630389685799248,0.0,0.13908654467503204,0.0,0.0,0.07793113248245942,0.0,0.09655510755846984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173641955967655,0.0,0.0975586657151218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470281997000419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,turnpikejones77,2020/03/05,How many times did you relapse before finally staying clean? What was your breaking point that led you to finally getting proper help and treatment to stay clean,7.942499999999999,10.01511110714286,6.305714285714287,74.78928571428574,62.92857142857143,8.457142857142857,39.0,8.841846274778883,3.8715142857142855,133,7,19,2,2,39,24,28,0.0,0.755,0.245,0.7964,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,3,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,2,1,0,8,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,11,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355322538977581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6064310324263317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14461402203561638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18552992938404395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.280626799463814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616608494923354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5900535225362379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16140145608337064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,mybpdisvegan,2020/03/05,"If nicotine is one of the world's most addictive substances.... Then how come the few times I've tried vaping (with high amounts of nicotine in the juice) I didn't ever crave the feeling again?

I honestly hate how nicotine makes me feel. Nauseated, dizzy/lihhtheaded, and unfocused. It practically feels like the same feeling I get whenever my iron or blood sugar is too low. Idk how anyone could crave that or get addicted to that feeling. Some people say cigarettes/using nicotine is relaxing or calming but I've always found the opposite to be true when i tried it. It didn't make me feel any different emotionally other than ""Why did I just do that to my lungs?"". 

I have always had it in my head that I have an extremely high potential for addiction especially since practically everyone who is related to me by blood, and most of the people I grew up around were an addict at some point or are currently an addict to something. The person who fathered me was an addict to multiple drugs including cocaine and meth, and my mom used to dabble with drugs a but when she was younger (LSD, pills to my knowledge) and she drank. She still smokes cigs and now has prescription medication but I don't think she's addicted to any of them (I hope not)

I used to be addicted to internet gaming and painting my nails (seriously it was like 4x a day for months, my mom had to tell me to stop) and I've struggled with pornography addiction since around age 9. It is a very real addiction. I don't like watching it or how it makes me feel emotionally or physically yet I can't stop ""using"" and it's ruining my life and self esteem. I am considered an addict to a non-substance tyoe drug. 


TLDR:

Nicotine is said to be more physically addictive and have a higher risk of addiction than some other illegal drugs. I've tried nicotine multiple times and I never once have craved it since trying it. How is it possible that I didn't get addicted to one of the world's most addictive substances after trying it multiple times and despite already brig considered an addict/have a high potential for addiction? I understand not liking the feeling may play a role but is it possible I have a lower risk for addiction than what I've been taught and told my entire life?",5.966244993324434,6.923235030373834,6.858344459279042,73.11719626168228,66.68691588785046,10.974098798397863,33.04272363150868,10.914260884657429,3.874649933244326,1795,76,322,52,28,598,194,428,0.068,0.853,0.08,0.4948,3,0,9,0,0,0,45.0,0,0,1,0,16,17,1,3,24,0,36,31,4,11,3,73,63,33,0,3,14,3,8,4,0,1,25,2,0,2,24,20,2,2,12,3,0,2,9,7,0,2,16,12,38,10,40,42,10,34,0,2,1,0,18,13,0,15,23,216,62,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8514422115539358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04788279475608125,0.0,0.07220919483476812,0.0,0.0,0.05901442439840336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030339835954752925,0.0,0.0,0.0772539710993697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03737730711766448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034643999888201306,0.0,0.0,0.02798345765305016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04533412041905779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20127807471403908,0.0,0.0,0.09761755422833382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03924943651974922,0.0,0.041461741141838336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17551742043342933,0.03099837545785506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04757574075198248,0.0,0.0,0.06800966084675218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04283940312348989,0.044531449263005465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13753419557639068,0.0,0.043096826119908165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06129636952116267,0.08479415579291757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689102969162497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043711636821518136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016374930978993,0.03463409942397413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0334656375358026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046209754971917545,0.0588054187557835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060163394379628525,0.037887147559503606,0.0,0.0,0.04101830371254046,0.09783314939316676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04938819682370981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041274559588363235,0.034506082661160266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04526603730745318,0.0,0.0,0.10767988242703694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03340433538151965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03465192575461207,0.07255325489844615,0.0,0.04536145497451165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037925446361993055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0278030540013141,0.0,0.0,0.07590452249297484,0.0,0.0,0.041461741141838336,0.0,0.14729742625136205,0.0,0.0,0.0451713228476992,0.052193754923981685,0.11242708356723392,0.0,0.03580193030748734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03915342180657794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Prize-Raspberry,2020/03/05,"I can’t seem to stop, don’t know what to do. I take oxycodone for severe chronic pain, I’ve had it for 2-3 years and never abused it, partly because I never even felt any “high” feelings. Within the last couple months, it’s like something clicked inside me, some button got switched on or something, and I started taking more than my prescribed dose (like one extra pill a day, that’s it) to feel a bit more…not high or anything, but more peaceful. It’s barely noticeable since I’m not taking a bunch at one time, but it definitely helps when I’m stressed out or panicking or even when I’m deathly bored. I’m on disability for bipolar disorder and my chronic pain, so I’m stuck inside all day long, and it can get crazy boring. I also have PTSD and the oxy can stave off a panic attack.

My doctor prescribed a slightly higher amount of pills last month - 10 extra a month, so it’s not like I can massively abuse them. I still have more flexibility now though on how and when I take them. It seems like once I took it for emotional/psychological reasons one time, it was easier to do a second time, then a third, then it’s a semi-regular thing.

The last couple weeks I have wanted to try really hard to go back to my normal prescribed dose and dosing schedule. But I can’t seem to stick to it. Every time I take it for non-pain reasons, I tell myself, this is the last time you can do this. But then the next day or day after, I can’t stop myself.

I don’t know what the future holds. Part of me wants to tell my doctor I can’t have them at all, the addiction gene is too strong in my family (killed my grandma actually) I have too many emotional problems to have access to this powerful mood-affecting drug. But then what about my very real pain?

I just don’t know how to stop what I’ve started, don’t know what happens next, and I’m worried about myself. Any advice?",5.352554569441111,5.163370147757259,6.135496521947713,81.75776145358603,67.8390501319261,8.790645238666347,28.30906692252339,8.296473431620573,1.7646875989445912,1462,42,301,18,22,482,178,379,0.16399999999999998,0.736,0.1,-0.9765,1,0,3,0,2,0,49.0,0,1,3,2,19,15,2,2,16,0,25,15,0,4,4,50,56,31,2,4,13,0,4,4,0,0,15,0,0,0,24,9,0,4,12,0,0,2,12,10,0,5,6,5,35,5,33,50,13,54,0,0,1,0,7,11,0,9,45,192,59,2,0.0,0.17767405661479033,0.0731680078091131,0.08173741729478756,0.0,0.0732679297564507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05996012168197881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197563407607918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06170075466133445,0.0,0.0,0.08529864368515509,0.0,0.05765368673966969,0.0,0.045706077480000835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818568874771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659241319363189,0.0,0.1934192100931925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593163085546736,0.15348694009268035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869510272438237,0.0,0.0,0.08434049887691279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904492376027016,0.0,0.0631724539195811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07068287100739559,0.0,0.07582256551069988,0.0,0.07199092888211729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03917306861187362,0.0,0.04261189737235144,0.0,0.05996699816920813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066303065570425,0.0,0.06716583209359918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05025637591026457,0.1584373870627848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08295238311850542,0.0,0.16482445752719213,0.2444692960996825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465224458439784,0.0,0.0,0.06635343857245916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07601623075678691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795408979457547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11565577881213855,0.0,0.1594805513340055,0.0,0.07346281736959465,0.0,0.08536329472158619,0.0,0.0798494454838576,0.1524217153482723,0.0,0.3191288022860996,0.08797088338987262,0.0,0.1623883907591223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07174410976462935,0.08764562364886863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08534172345682098,0.04803302072025991,0.1541803658500797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20477229271723893,0.0,0.0847041404693095,0.0,0.06202282690304346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544392124962027,0.0,0.0,0.10614005730456537,0.0,0.05987776949120575,0.18805565540903466,0.08588739256328935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2818717628055922,0.0,0.13106868294684942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04981225277322512,0.0,0.07366580184206495,0.0,0.2186022566903305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330365325053568,0.0509053459145949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061864952195524486,0.08844829125662003,0.0,0.06014307190645375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07614410605442795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048283568760481635
addiction,SilentDecibel,2020/03/05,"So I'm going on holiday in 9 months and recently stopped drinking... Hey guys,

I've been off alcohol for almost 3 months now. My life has drastically improved and I'm really happy that I made the choice to stop. I was never the type to ""black-out"" or lose my job or lose loved ones or ruin my health. I never drank at work or had financial issues but I was using alcohol for the wrong reasons are was starting to head down the bad road really quickly. I attend AA meetings once a week (which I've really learned to enjoy after some difficult initial meetings) and enjoy them, although I'm not doing the twelve steps and such. My life couch has said to me ""you're not an alcoholic, you just need to check yourself"" and according to members of AA I probably am an alcoholic if I think so. It's all a bit confusing, but I'm happy not drinking. I'm like, REALLY happy.

The thing is, I'm off on a big, overseas holiday later this year with my mom. She's getting old and I want to spoil her and such. I really want to do things like try the wine, the beer, the gin where I'm going because I doubt I'll ever go there again. Before things got bad, I was heavily into gastronomy and tastes and enjoyed alcohol in a positive manner and mind-frame. I feel that I can enjoy a few drinks while I'm away and I do trust myself. I'll also be around people that support me and trust me. I also don't intend on drinking when I get home, and I know I won't.

I just wanted some thoughts and opinions on this. I've brought it up at AA and the whole thing was brushed off and left me feeling a bit shameful of the whole thing. I struggle with the idea of restricting myself sometimes, specially when a situation seems fine and safe. 

I know this is a controversial topic, but having been classified as a ""grey-area"" drinker by my therapist, everything is really grey for me about this holiday.",5.145482192414431,5.361413231382978,6.3516096207215575,78.64195652173912,68.28191489361701,9.837002775208141,30.709528214616103,9.761364909221204,2.7856437557816838,1469,54,291,31,23,496,200,376,0.122,0.6940000000000001,0.184,0.9825,1,0,12,0,0,0,47.0,0,1,1,3,18,27,0,4,23,0,23,18,1,4,4,65,56,34,0,5,13,1,2,2,0,1,8,1,2,1,15,21,13,4,10,9,1,6,7,11,3,1,14,6,38,16,37,40,8,46,0,3,1,1,11,20,0,12,22,191,53,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4236981541597189,0.07940004374097645,0.0,0.0,0.12682046107246492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07058718823216019,0.0,0.0,0.07449796904003042,0.0,0.13241194890637714,0.04833600781008469,0.0,0.06747212727170332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17313387499216468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3107060820926406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717246589191417,0.0,0.0,0.07126303893625664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801854002962623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285417847099277,0.0,0.13519136520260866,0.0,0.06341750269693293,0.0,0.0,0.0785120994607399,0.0,0.253225209491739,0.0,0.0,0.08137704111897245,0.08428428199953507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953690148544225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08951164723682081,0.0,0.0827608304181483,0.07868562945662508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715423315218153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861515970228358,0.0,0.1120133583236256,0.0774766779075079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17741618184466196,0.0,0.0,0.07156463000528858,0.07502853624569138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08006288050859757,0.09286648640389224,0.12658112770134913,0.0,0.0,0.05879442755576377,0.12231061898477433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08320420190037532,0.0844439871749546,0.05373068987542777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05497147633094523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549078936454386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30478106099028124,0.08152595648961637,0.07829183578014169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07542538112677237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07218496741051797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912815819476531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07842236804920788,0.0,0.05612368115685668,0.0,0.0,0.13258425910002966,0.0,0.08289379860232551,0.0,0.0,0.08998025594130164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09206477211172127,0.26339226333063115,0.050807469914920265,0.0,0.06294943453456188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0538344424497938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06848331200947065,0.0,0.0,0.1403064165429413,0.0,0.06360370772715848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17705462015220055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057725927095637126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669396537236754,0.0,0.05106180808726357
addiction,khlind,2020/03/05,"Concerns Regarding Addiction and My Physical Dependency to Substances and Xanax  Hi all,

New here and looking for some guidance/reassurance. Feel free to skip right now to my question regarding my xanax addiction, or continue below for context about myself: 

I'm a 22 y/o college student w/ ADHD who has had a problem with substances since Jan, 2018 (following a break-up). I am not depressed (I think), but I do have a pretty bad case of social anxiety. For the past two years, I have drank, abused weed, abused Adderall (prescribed & snorted it), been on and off nicotine, dabbled with coke, mixed drugs, glorified drug-use, been 24/7 sleep-deprived, and until recently, started abusing Xanax. I don't think I've been straight up sober for more than two weeks consecutively for the past two years. I have been aware of my substance problem for over a year, and now that it is reaching a breaking point, I realize I HAVE to change (I've been trying on my own for over a year). Combined with my four concussions, my substance abuse, poor health, and bad habits are just about to prove natural selection still exists for an employed (offer is to start this June), financially-dependent, white male. I wholeheartedly believe I am approaching the point of no return; so, I have decided it is time to seek help. 

Let's get to the point:

I have used Xanax around 5-7 days per week ranging from 0.75mg to 4.5mg for about 6 weeks. I use it for just about anything - to party, get a decent sleep, help me speak better in front of my classmates, or just mellow out. 

Here's my main question:

Have I been taking Xanax long and consistently enough that I will experience *physical* withdrawal symptoms if I go cold turkey? I can't seem to pinpoint a timeframe from my research. I'm kinda scared bc. I've read withdrawal symptoms include seizures. If I have been using it long enough, is there an optimized ""homemade"" method to tapering off? Not quite sure what to do here bc. one day I'll take half, the next a quarter, and the next a bar and a half (dosages are pretty random).

Here's my plan (which I would appreciate your thoughts on as well): 

I'm setting up an appointment with a therapist tomorrow through a school program for either Friday or as soon as I get back from spring break, which is March 7-14. I've decided this is the time to detox bc. I'll be visiting my sister in Florida, so I can literally go cold turkey given the environment. The plan is to exercise and meditate every day. Now, when I get back to school, there's a concert on the 14th that I'm definitely drinking w/ friends before... The plan is to keep it to JUST alcohol. I'm sorta viewing it as an incentive to stay sober for spring break. If all goes to plan, I will then remain sober for 30 days and focus on catching up in school. I will also try to use Adderall as it should be used, in a very limited and controlled fashion. However, I want your opinion on how I should move forward with my addy use as well (given my tendency to crave other drugs on it). Even though I have ADHD, I don't know if addy should be in my life, period... I feel like its time to ""outgrow"" my ADHD and train my focus via meditation. 

In conclusion:

That's about all I can share given my exam in 3 hours, which is gonna make or (probably) break my economics minor... What do you think about my concerns surrounding my Xanax use and my planned next steps? Thank you in advance for help - it feels good just to get this off my chest!!",5.7459184693367575,6.349193547226387,6.136405011779826,79.35331459270368,67.05097451274362,9.470821731991153,32.52263154137217,9.48565724429506,2.8930388662811453,2724,111,521,52,42,878,321,667,0.075,0.805,0.12,0.9788,2,0,7,0,3,0,124.0,0,4,0,11,34,16,0,1,31,0,50,23,2,11,5,84,93,38,0,11,17,1,3,1,1,8,17,3,0,1,25,22,5,3,16,5,2,11,6,6,2,8,13,12,59,11,91,68,10,93,0,1,3,0,19,33,0,17,46,329,84,10,0.0,0.29719730190239874,0.0,0.13672305539321575,0.2260903144180156,0.0,0.0,0.06701632207236427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05014796961679832,0.0,0.06794464008493549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04797183547276305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051603757352281836,0.05582386534265882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09643794074508448,0.10471796639918952,0.0,0.0,0.053360319932424016,0.07065101233152224,0.0,0.05546057763147191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06633728452931921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070332921725937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16176719457815553,0.0,0.054010744356575165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0614304625325131,0.21816587508776905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12958929954001938,0.0,0.04141837681527713,0.0,0.05283462092655972,0.0,0.0,0.06134095171693229,0.0,0.0,0.09512191448673504,0.04479896923809006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04844843620415041,0.0,0.16381303101452974,0.0,0.07127737819068035,0.05259691967364122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06665620952870101,0.0,0.0,0.1260965692614236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061755246773635974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05573820144190212,0.0,0.0,0.03446295494536643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06412369604766939,0.04429287232033512,0.030636208517615508,0.0,0.0,0.11099010903114503,0.05265935152497826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04185841471502744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06664921782589499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06056426588589256,0.20007362272844573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04249290659529999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11972472924333945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17783942213827428,0.0,0.0,0.12759418949618548,0.06761037566516273,0.12000714260532305,0.0,0.0,0.1404957565403876,0.06669821510623919,0.06272547584302172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06191708449478829,0.0,0.0,0.0535527215167692,0.0,0.0,0.06278215412406538,0.19039306785130167,0.0,0.057087468723581024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05187312420042304,0.0,0.1255075867276127,0.06392342482992995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877080665488933,0.06683892379651518,0.05007909392000324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05910202480925735,0.1303562968480575,0.09429798473045213,0.0,0.0,0.05773356719958524,0.0,0.07280940875933255,0.0,0.12054323581794693,0.06161078878669553,0.04978354918028666,0.1096975024648595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08514991860081447,0.0,0.18377129546909424,0.0,0.07543061166024284,0.3791201064254784,0.0,0.05174108484136514,0.036987101578279585,0.0,0.15090294305718074,0.0,0.1127649558208542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04454632348928151,0.0,0.0,0.16152888761858278
addiction,Nick_Orp,2020/03/05,"I want to quit Hey there,
I'm new to this subreddit and I need help. I want to quit smoking weed. I did it regulary since 2018 and I cant get out. It has become something so normal that I make my plans of a day planing when I want to smoke and how much. I tried to stop but the normality of it brings me back to it every time. Do you guys habe some tips how I can convince my self to quit?
Every answer is highly appreciated.",-0.03782608695652101,1.9461343478260889,2.4914782608695667,93.58613043478263,85.95652173913044,5.419130434782609,17.895652173913042,6.742157984588678,-0.14002086956521742,328,8,78,4,10,113,64,92,0.018000000000000002,0.836,0.145,0.8438,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,4,6,1,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,3,0,17,14,8,0,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,6,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,13,1,10,13,2,9,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,6,49,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372846481398651,0.0,0.0,0.19718111733090032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151421951601924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3008518136105313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327869985527787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17678062098389016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967021146070413,0.1886351260876768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11917545504284315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13124592182593278,0.13238361329132026,0.0,0.172433045910259,0.0,0.0,0.34985852958501545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5696911975725987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862539992878693,0.0,0.0,0.14768842114940287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13744722154719932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14926570437791312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104106903094761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212155353373906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3159188916720858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Lemmiiwinkz,2020/03/05,Please let me know if my teeth are okay after using so much.... I've been smoking crack again lately. I am so scared of losing any teeth. I want to finish my last to bags & just quit!!!  What are early signs of teeth problems from using drugs ???,1.4448979591836704,3.619517163265311,2.1993469387755127,96.74922448979594,81.44897959183673,3.92,13.881632653061226,3.1291,-1.3764399999999999,187,2,40,0,5,58,39,49,0.187,0.7170000000000001,0.096,-0.8031,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,1,0,1,5,4,3,2,0,8,9,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,5,1,6,7,1,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,23,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.273942203187454,0.0,0.17193369993449958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.293203606186606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13894926508230698,0.2060909499589024,0.2852042975865613,0.0,0.0,0.2585367521244096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828531350620652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18585982204713827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27753243355049745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419250510594885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689168118637954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531278640979072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4367294865644787,0.0,0.0,0.14912623104936548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,TheDeadMaple,2020/03/05,"I’m trying to stop gaming to pursue fitness Recently I’ve noticed a decline in my happiness with the investment of my gaming career. I haven’t been able to enjoy any experience relating to gaming recently and I want to stop being so compelled to just hop on and play a few games of warthunder to inevitably get pissed and think “ what am I doing wasting my time? I’m not having fun.” And then proceed to start another. I honestly love the feeling of progression in games and fitness gives me a similar feeling just not as strong to to the lack of immediate gratification. But I love going on runs and lifting weights, I’m just not compelled to keep consistent. I am by no means  “fat” or out of shape at 140 lbs as a 6,1” dude, so it’s not  depression or anything like that being the cause of my problem. If anyone has any tips I’d love to hear them.",5.810000000000002,5.957452380952383,6.976285714285716,74.9687142857143,66.85714285714286,10.053333333333336,34.65714285714286,9.888512548439397,3.4100314285714286,672,30,126,14,10,228,103,168,0.124,0.6459999999999999,0.231,0.9568,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,2,5,13,1,0,8,0,9,6,2,3,0,32,26,15,0,4,11,0,3,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,8,2,3,4,6,1,2,6,3,0,0,1,4,12,10,28,23,2,19,0,1,0,3,11,9,1,3,9,83,15,1,0.1694943064293916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23052388115882386,0.17772955877203922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11851435999434913,0.0,0.1394793723405312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17411734205848015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459851977651948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16579795509541945,0.0,0.0,0.17140282812956595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855377948984271,0.16259438321562014,0.0963275203416477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18042984092790876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910324018168984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15065432734740253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08280635663328682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.458925687156203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18462898866019464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929703912705613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16218316054684462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3347103593070758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199689424731309,0.0,0.0,0.2834096592552339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10860510767982168,0.0,0.0,0.09883349311608416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11507550816707883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999721333781093,0.0,0.0,0.2063984031989924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,thetimehascometostop,2020/03/05,"Ritalin overdose - should I concern? I've snorted ~100mg of ritalin for the last 9 hours. I also  drank about 350ml of whiskey, mixed with cola for this time. I slept enough night before and and also during day. I am addicted to stimulants much, 5 days ago I did 0,7g of amph racemate in a session. I smoked some mj and now am a bit anxious - could I have overdosed ritalin?",3.258423423423423,4.922344121621625,4.528108108108111,84.56531531531532,74.0,7.636036036036036,29.90090090090089,8.344100000000001,2.254295495495496,291,13,57,5,6,96,57,74,0.038,0.9620000000000001,0.0,-0.3313,0,0,3,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,6,7,1,1,0,8,8,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,7,0,9,3,4,9,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,8,35,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28639911845915245,0.0,0.0,0.2328818014083588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42018763403030457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29679419735956697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22355188809074691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868177291276672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097572754537123,0.0,0.0,0.33886005392103635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27145576174596103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25872224966491464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21414852955521368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19312642113943085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465410831512858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531917588819742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,McCrypticHunter,2020/03/06,"Post Malone is an addict. Well, not only is he drinking in every interview- but he is very off in all of his concerts. He always seems out of it, and seems to be overworked. I don’t want to lose him as he is a great artist. Is there any way I can help as a fan?",-0.5177011494252888,1.2110376896551749,2.014482758620691,97.83712643678163,85.89655172413794,4.55632183908046,16.563218390804597,5.46131890053228,-0.7932160919540232,198,4,49,1,6,68,44,58,0.054000000000000006,0.715,0.231,0.8909999999999999,0,1,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,3,0,8,2,0,0,1,8,11,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,2,3,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,4,2,10,10,1,6,0,1,0,0,8,4,0,2,0,32,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28922394597208584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22075679575149,0.0,0.0,0.18041795457103316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598999960240126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235327100373913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2925020610629849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778297850860786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2968108293565671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20177803695875607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25409090470833084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4830513163213414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218906177654638,0.1564850264320703,0.21058846057048988,0.0,0.0,0.2385429830841369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,LeaveOnYourLight,2020/03/06,"I think I might end it. I'm about 15 years deep in cocaine and alcohol addiction.  I can't seem to keep a grip on anything.  Just lost my second job in 4 months and am bound for more destitution and misery, it would seem.  

I've tried AA several times. I've been to rehab 6 times.   What drives me seems insatiable and I really have nothing to live for at this point, nothing with enough gravity to change my trajectory.  My family is dead and/or scattered, my living situation is precarious and I haven't had an SO in about a decade.  Nobody would really care and I think I've set it up that way.

I just don't feel like trying anymore.  I want it to end so badly and I'm lazy, unmotivated and utterly dejected.  

That's about it.",2.4769599578503687,4.399475979452057,4.550273972602742,82.44261854583773,76.87671232876713,8.601896733403583,23.559536354056906,9.265573868473778,1.9469626975763958,567,18,118,15,13,195,93,146,0.17300000000000001,0.794,0.033,-0.9651,1,0,2,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,0,1,7,4,0,0,3,0,12,3,0,0,0,23,24,10,1,3,2,0,2,1,0,3,3,0,0,0,9,9,1,2,6,0,0,1,3,2,1,1,3,2,13,2,17,18,2,17,0,1,0,0,0,8,0,4,7,69,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620285151576881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15884014770567198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14740090961852914,0.0,0.0,0.1223097327118795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240997471655046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15153807520891965,0.0,0.15723071256659485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632839279537607,0.1535744042905298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401150295109832,0.0,0.07515173657149966,0.10618122079508263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14749222863610406,0.13210907247819803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07261305508268902,0.0,0.26248582605998977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16224707881792805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15767282206030134,0.0,0.0,0.1186349575956232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852287698223443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14050328440800133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19043222268141047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4059212002594744,0.0,0.1679094662173241,0.0,0.0,0.16706622006021649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190472060041008,0.0,0.0,0.17333456443289294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018198735686326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08766575807539476,0.11797548595396387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21116481430126013,0.0,0.0,0.09571277404765603
addiction,walawalabingbang6969,2020/03/06,"It seems like I only decide to take a break from drinking when things get bad I always end up drinking soooo much eventually.  I'm good for a few days and then I just think about drinking constantly.  I pried myself away from the booze for a week last month and things got better I guess.  Less anxiety.  I had 0 anxiety at one point. And now my anxiety is so so so bad.   I've probably been going like 2 weeks I dont know.  It feels like the same day over and over.  Eye contact is tough right now.  I'm so tired and hungover and I cant think right now.  Drinks, weed, and surprisingly the worst one is porn.  Porn is the fucking devil.  It's all really bad.  It gets so so bad.  I usually catch myself though before it can get really bad, but I'm really testing my luck.  I'm only gonna have a certain number of chances before I really fuck up.  I've gotta chill really bad.  I feel my thoughts literally warping things and fucking up my life.   I just act like such a fuck sometimes.  I really cycle down in my addiction and I'm really sick of this cycle. End rant.",0.5412336051045727,2.872968073732721,2.836428571428573,89.59222527472531,87.15668202764977,6.472102091456933,18.945232187167672,7.748469712250963,0.7739792272243893,820,23,175,17,26,279,119,217,0.205,0.687,0.10800000000000001,-0.9729,0,0,4,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,1,15,22,4,0,9,0,10,16,1,0,2,25,35,19,0,0,3,0,2,4,0,2,4,0,0,0,9,9,5,0,8,4,0,3,2,13,0,2,4,3,20,9,17,29,6,31,1,0,1,6,1,12,4,3,19,98,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09545330363982434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07285691848438924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2009494374319796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226548445748172,0.0,0.4386535605644203,0.0,0.0,0.14901418948484318,0.0,0.0,0.07743968771721325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946212332189842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11293788819027095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10261964563134153,0.3431017878286407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551043079917004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08854591456371899,0.06255286792905812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237911660850815,0.1372394285187903,0.0,0.049762355028698434,0.07344115781626465,0.07002971557041403,0.0,0.09645719068237267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048120675671922984,0.07137307099837012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06184620404383837,0.17110953558459066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06988954147146233,0.0,0.06436666082309853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866581840537566,0.13318662232435444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08277248394171427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944044689318668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39265216155648297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495514907263482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07971131818886114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659906012208768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658342087456451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745128820916226,0.11220980062863033,0.0860272367762979,0.06951284437737673,0.0,0.10063731757777357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964349487018872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047067045962594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,hwillieyams,2020/03/06,"Should I hang out with my old drinking buddy? Hi r/addiction,

Seeking some advice. In college, \[friend\] and I were best friends. Though it wasn't the only thing we bonded over, alcohol was a major component of our times together. Looking back, much of this was 'problem drinking,' (binges, blackouts, etc.) but the feeling was 'hey, it's college.'

Toward the end of college, I had a series of epiphanies that (thankfully) steered me toward the path of self-care. Today, I drink infrequently and in moderation. \[Friend\] experienced no such reorientation; if anything, he doubled down, 'came to terms with' being an alcoholic, and I believe has now picked up a coke and cigarette habit to boot. We drifted apart pretty rapidly after college, due in part I think to me not wanting to party like I used to, though there are other factors at play too (physical distance, \[friend\]'s general psychological journey).

I want to reconnect with \[friend\]. He is a special person and means a lot to me. Also, if possible, I want to support him turning away from his self-destructive lifestyle. I feel partially responsible, given that I played a great part in ramping up these behaviors then stepped off the train when I'd had enough. Given his current lifestyle and our past together, I can't imagine a way to spend non-awkward quality time together without drinking. He would likely be drinking, so if I abstain, it will feel pointed and judgemental. But drinking with him would feel irresponsible, given that drinking is an addiction for him. Yet I know social isolation and/or being surrounded only by other users can play a major part in continuing an addiction. I'm wondering now if the benefits of reconnection, of reminding him that he has a friend and a safe space in me, outweigh the harms of drinking (in moderation) with him. After all, he's drinking anyway, with or without me. It's possible he will never stop drinking; does this mean I have to never again experience our friendship? Yes, of course, if our friendship is real we should be able to have it without alcohol; but I don't think he's ready for that at this point. Having a nice time together seems like the best way back into his heart, the only way I see to help him take the first step toward health.

Thoughts? Thanks in advance. <3",7.0653152183660675,8.290021830508476,7.089841269841268,71.47632947717695,64.35108958837772,9.895758227961618,37.814456102591706,9.994966539143718,4.102589166890862,1828,93,294,39,27,585,224,413,0.049,0.755,0.196,0.9966,1,1,14,0,0,0,89.0,7,0,0,4,15,23,0,0,24,1,29,18,1,2,3,66,57,23,0,13,13,0,4,3,5,6,6,0,0,1,17,20,14,3,13,13,1,7,10,2,0,1,12,7,39,21,57,35,15,61,0,0,2,0,33,26,0,10,28,216,56,4,0.06282399704654608,0.0,0.0,0.2054622898529553,0.0,0.06139088281626695,0.0,0.201419240535702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05024032774043792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051698796617843934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05902521326475067,0.09661555166977286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07078113115750942,0.1318598179354918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718539161174697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0549777031788776,0.0,0.0,0.6154359976014505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055643414232997165,0.06491398286206451,0.07006536348052432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06145392409140996,0.0,0.0,0.1270628022265438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05343805979413832,0.0,0.0,0.2912259856589923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06926367853200988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06677897107793307,0.0,0.07444673898590931,0.04210960094727771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0345264257873198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09207789478283172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05275633489112628,0.0,0.0,0.053410715681578895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368675005390444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04618286645095828,0.0,0.0969074789977257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06592321676654155,0.0,0.0,0.14334144213488306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040967999427689,0.05997261386436757,0.0,0.05485549098651404,0.0,0.0,0.11877796743877328,0.14164923438193652,0.0,0.0639145906309693,0.0,0.060114080607415764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07150746256229087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050062591795779834,0.0571926074068604,0.13107826064838435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06404115337644985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05252367460328429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712919273503729,0.0,0.0,0.0472358272361017,0.0,0.0,0.11567979162052243,0.0,0.0,0.041737472083358484,0.0805101611712165,0.12344851624675217,0.0498752361463901,0.10989953368512673,0.0,0.0595498033829627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06833446842175246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0542597623602789,0.0,0.0,0.11116566351506904,0.14960029391756385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816802738199232,0.0681299449046874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892567299866669,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,maryyyyjane,2020/03/06,stimulant cravings is there anything i can do to help with stimulant (and pretty much drugs in general) cravings? it gets in the way of all my thoughts and crosses my mind every single day multiple times and i cant do it anymore. anything i can do?,3.9006250000000016,5.8654778125,5.069166666666664,80.0925,72.95833333333334,8.133333333333335,34.91666666666667,8.841846274778883,3.331816666666666,197,11,35,4,4,65,35,48,0.0,0.87,0.13,0.7399,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,7,1,0,2,1,10,9,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,5,0,5,8,3,6,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,27,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2979308674198328,0.0,0.0,0.494431748827654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193742764630985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34838592087323195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531125189686401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569543916198792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013617821000787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30333342104071304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22083952547301647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056299651892328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384958823445851,0.17517435024308373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384553728705239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,spmthrowaway1234,2020/03/06,"Can you help someone who’s in denial about their partner? I have a friend who’s partner has slipped into addiction. To myself and those around us it seems painfully obvious but my friend is in some hard denial. I’ve been blunt and told her I think he has a drug problem, I’m not afraid to be straight up with her. But she doesn’t want to see what I see. Or at least she doesn’t want to accept that she’s seeing it. Luckily there are no kids involved yet but from what she has told me they aren’t preventing that from happening. 

So I guess my question is, is there any way I can help her if she doesn’t want to accept the truth? I’m worried about her because I know she’s dealing with the issues related to his addiction, just without admitting that’s what’s causing the issues, and it has to be so hard on her. I’m also concerned about what her future look like if this continues especially if she gets pregnant while he’s struggling with addiction.",6.718341968911915,5.759062621761657,6.732854922279795,81.1667435233161,65.26943005181347,9.999792746113991,33.80777202072539,9.120678840339163,2.69335896373057,758,28,156,11,10,242,106,193,0.095,0.728,0.177,0.951,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,1,1,2,0,11,10,0,2,5,0,18,5,0,1,2,35,37,14,0,7,10,0,2,1,4,0,5,0,0,3,14,8,0,1,7,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,3,6,28,6,23,32,2,13,0,0,4,0,35,8,0,8,5,110,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4426793056884832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10824542750699323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204781274801448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12049696558571694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251273942923673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13904954590746962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13954774682524754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15697184815768528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209153899112471,0.0,0.07071876173205756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14911166183433364,0.0,0.11969628273539555,0.0,0.2425076535833551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18145469831472205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28255634441598115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438899958904467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06612888843802409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11366629719247705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14403003473071646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295189471724344,0.0,0.0,0.1516314952115069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32358745820922724,0.12322447956509425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468805913797753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14150515763004906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08673168753655201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586799836640507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628185322091664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23951226658901406,0.107440566165233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13047990060115372,0.0,0.0,0.13746221790067878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,isakmarken,2020/03/06,"Ok I’m getting addicted to the internet, BYE BYE for now. I will only look at the internet once or twice a day. Thanks you.",0.11294871794871494,2.2693500384615426,3.220769230769232,87.40756410256414,87.07692307692307,8.082051282051282,24.051282051282055,8.841846274778883,2.1609897435897443,95,4,21,3,3,34,22,26,0.0,0.805,0.195,0.6249,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,2,3,4,0,3,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,4,12,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.480717736923073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2843864169885427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23038639480762044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3703001548659105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4696141130704671,0.0,0.33537430990224826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4059820004586866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,samking86,2020/03/06,"I don't know who else might need to hear this Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.",15.666315789473677,6.011589842105263,12.893157894736841,70.30710526315792,58.47368421052632,17.30526315789474,45.894736842105246,11.20814326018867,4.595178947368421,146,3,34,2,1,44,24,38,0.065,0.716,0.21899999999999997,0.7389,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,6,0,4,0,0,0,0,6,8,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,4,3,4,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,23,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.606109795559334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2993077060664471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393149451503829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3228806310024634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3148807601112241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3039070433003196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124192178564284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3806454515646846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Turtleshoes18,2020/03/06,"Addicted to soda again, feel utterly sick and awful So I realize this isn’t nearly as serious as some other addictions like drug:alcohol abuse but this is an addiction of mine that I thought I had conquered and now it’s back.

I began drinking soda when I was very young, and it was probably most of what I drank until I was in high school and decided to quit cold turkey for weight reasons. I lost a ton of weight (honestly didn’t even need to, but I was going through a phase where I hated my body and was obsessed with being as skinny as possible), got much healthier, and even was at a point when drinking any soda made me sick. That sick feeling slowly went away, but I still never drank any soda for years and years.

I started dating my boyfriend who regularly drinks soda, to which I have no problem, except I started asking for sips here and there, and that turned into asking for more sips and now.... I find myself drinking 1 soda a day on my own, maybe 2 if I over do it.

I suppose I can attribute my relapse partially because of the birth of my now two month old baby. Toward the end of my pregnancy I was so tired and sick of the pain and stress that comes with being heavily pregnant that I thought to myself, “Oh what the hell, I’m miserable, I’ll indulge myself.” And once my baby was born, it turned into, “I am exhausted and in severe pain and I don’t care anymore, GIVE ME THE SODA.”

I feel so crappy every time I drink it but I can’t stop. It doesn’t even taste that good to be honest, but I just want it. The amount of sugar in it makes me feel revolting and I feel like stopping but I end up grabbing another can the next day. Has anyone else gone through this? Is this just a phase due to stress that will eventually subside? Or am I looking at the beginnings of a new addiction? I am seriously concerned about gaining weight and my health now that I’m drinking soda so regularly. Should I just try what worked before? I replaced soda with milk (I know some of y’all think milk is gross but it worked). Are there any other ways to combat soda addiction?",4.195249875062468,5.205782364734301,5.340388139263705,82.20152173913044,70.76328502415458,8.222422122272198,27.80243211727469,8.53829466247534,1.9618999833416624,1625,56,319,26,29,539,210,414,0.221,0.725,0.054000000000000006,-0.9977,0,0,8,0,1,0,44.0,0,1,0,6,24,20,2,4,15,1,31,41,2,4,1,62,66,37,0,5,13,0,9,2,0,2,14,0,0,0,28,23,26,2,13,6,0,4,7,14,0,1,20,13,49,6,47,41,8,54,1,2,1,0,5,16,1,5,35,229,77,3,0.0,0.08952723907421244,0.0,0.4118623415755317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807515579669339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541518859694943,0.07923212854567553,0.0,0.0,0.07493604903651449,0.05283389589474415,0.07742100949226012,0.0,0.0,0.14127837004301494,0.0,0.07099189607381573,0.05810162152646532,0.0,0.04606118646312128,0.0,0.06429670914355001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08393105877503602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07703931179354913,0.0,0.0,0.06508897266371676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974609810429526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4441251387182956,0.0876265849063543,0.0,0.06312138569406997,0.0,0.1338489524028626,0.0,0.0,0.14972166568692008,0.0,0.06366326623841159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910291541441477,0.053980678876740594,0.0,0.0,0.06906123845436693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248484248063959,0.0429429664200366,0.06337684726001504,0.060432906007174984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07460068565284614,0.0,0.08031763906412029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983417556912298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041526261333434115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383041896348655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06345207474350455,0.0,0.08248358226415678,0.0,0.0,0.07149749337277321,0.050437447143318735,0.0,0.07591101940135385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060311941241323976,0.0,0.05554591121545845,0.05602740510302327,0.058277177643765374,0.07297712969280101,0.08035981008708601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07928839041292897,0.0804698280883572,0.0,0.0,0.16080412144626166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07142941680236281,0.08518349337488397,0.0,0.0,0.0814673649770908,0.07230151874102964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803682538356359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768912770386183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647160363160152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536224116065212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069647022948134,0.0,0.06034298407552108,0.1263444905188696,0.17310937283646746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04841633497465432,0.0,0.11997373275993024,0.04406013318941336,0.08684606962135423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0513008501149069,0.16437699119178226,0.07381196082703083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06234560600517509,0.044567740884111855,0.0599766773721561,0.0,0.2760382391123813,0.0,0.07004565528028325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001838224438287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09731740662955013
addiction,edgy__veggie,2020/03/06,"Don’t start drugs at 14 Hey, I’m new to this sub so sorry if this isn’t a good post or against the rules or whatever, just let me know if so :)

I remember going into high school, a decent student with hopes for the future. It’s so so soooo dumb but for some inexplicable reason, as soon as I got into 9th grade, all I wanted to do was try drugs. I thought it seemed so cool, being a guy who smokes blunts and pops pills and snorts lines here and there. I started where a lot of people do with weed, and I stuck there for a while. But soon enough it turned into psychedelics, and then molly, and then opiates, then coke, etc. By the time I realized I might be making a mistake, I was HOPELESSLY addicted to several different substances. Idk if no one ever rlly told me this or I was just too damn young and stupid to hear it but as soon as drugs starting being my main source of “fun,” my brain was rewired. 5 years later and I still can’t think of having a good time without getting absolutely smashed, baked, cranked, or something else stupid. Fuck I have so much regret, and idrk why I’m saying any of this, just want to reach out since even tho I know others go through this shit, it feels so damn lonely ya know. Thanks for reading tho",2.3947381818181768,4.244701412000001,3.143418181818181,92.7657090909091,76.88,5.985454545454545,21.763636363636365,6.782984794422108,0.33675999999999995,963,26,209,9,22,303,156,250,0.193,0.7170000000000001,0.09,-0.986,1,2,6,0,0,1,30.0,0,1,0,0,23,17,7,0,10,1,16,10,2,2,2,50,42,36,0,8,14,0,1,0,0,1,5,2,1,1,12,15,2,0,10,1,0,2,5,11,0,1,8,5,18,6,28,29,7,29,0,3,0,1,7,7,5,12,19,139,30,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134786718911586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840799818550161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380240200358612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291783173725446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43015221386011293,0.0,0.10328602074069622,0.0,0.0,0.12775399467789125,0.1378921717408042,0.08166358040374692,0.11184017955072713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06251650200658923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430392460234405,0.06459721340167167,0.0,0.14053582859615876,0.20740806902763595,0.09888684024666496,0.0,0.0,0.12242382791241542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13935216427679992,0.0,0.0,0.13063329049228206,0.0,0.12280320938854054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038492458082202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264310919601942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105114984261956,0.0,0.0,0.08253119215413549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311633469352938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09089021216464982,0.0,0.0,0.11941305229861653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08378220396735192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571696088443427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11841370615356235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12367425606066973,0.0,0.0,0.1271233317696559,0.0,0.0,0.1400609207870678,0.0,0.0,0.098324124436145,0.0,0.12513108753741958,0.0,0.11255793806084123,0.0,0.13967890777498768,0.1269155014623227,0.10227694503402893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518472615427333,0.0,0.1384057497379362,0.2625407776999042,0.0,0.09873970028141033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11383183430934045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922403038833227,0.0,0.09815698209034286,0.14419188616979667,0.0,0.0,0.11814408014381853,0.0,0.08394398523924375,0.13448568290162444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458530911102862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156658829152052,0.0,0.0,0.11918531627712092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962061961287699
addiction,meetmeafterdark,2020/03/06,"Why is it impossible to take a normal dose? I can't just take a small dose of anything. Forget beer, one beer never happens. But pills. Even if they say 2-4 mg will have you feeling real good, I always need to take more. 

Fuck",-0.17652482269503267,2.0649522340425537,2.026702127659576,94.4841666666667,90.48936170212768,3.984397163120569,16.343971631205672,5.46131890053228,-0.6935645390070926,173,4,38,1,6,58,40,47,0.121,0.7859999999999999,0.09300000000000001,-0.3167,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,1,0,2,2,1,0,2,0,4,6,0,0,1,9,11,2,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,2,4,1,3,10,1,2,0,0,0,1,3,1,1,1,1,21,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21632219762489385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139394212377506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17171275928564989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314524909067759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403451109247081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2180568844444752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298973416497684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19277010341253836,0.2005107596955855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547228590122034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17616755659181255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959114361566475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20674462995381224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5864124235973033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345893558047337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,funkyfishs69,2020/03/06,I am about to order mushrooms online Do they even count as a drug? My heart tells me not to order them but my mind wants to escape reality,-0.8268965517241398,1.198070448275864,1.7271724137931024,93.01006896551723,103.13793103448276,3.6993103448275866,12.696551724137931,5.6839178017228535,-0.9369641379310348,109,2,23,1,5,37,25,29,0.0,0.927,0.073,0.2617,0,0,1,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,4,3,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,5,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,17,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5029412203373669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.286447304898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5139232133525984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4379019696460021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3790630510002531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558008395727098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,DatBoiIsSad,2020/03/06,"A big win! I didn't buy cocaine this time! So I had to visit my hometown yesterday for an appointment. Well, I still have all my old hook ups/friends from before I moved out of the state..and (you guessed it) everytime I would visit I would stop by to see old friends, and then buy a bag and relapse. NOT THIS TIME! I was so anxious about it the night before I had practically planned out every step I was going to take while visiting. I didn't go see old friends. I didn't stop at my old favorite bar. I didn't use. Hell yes.",-0.1172467532467536,2.1355376909090964,1.6342857142857168,97.34000000000002,90.27272727272728,4.961038961038962,21.493506493506494,6.5431188927421005,0.2925324675324674,406,15,94,5,14,132,67,110,0.085,0.735,0.18,0.9075,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,2,5,5,1,0,5,1,11,1,0,1,1,12,18,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,4,4,1,2,0,1,2,7,5,1,1,0,8,2,16,4,11,8,1,24,1,0,2,0,6,4,1,1,13,57,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17058286674275505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569735006650119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12722091540119232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34997815611561484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716293812994295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663394743792708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16048519614382972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416998213171254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6337809669547749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24064904136091106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12058585940875692,0.2524793760897194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11353044393534298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17609434162752996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304123431097777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576382921952965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145269125689948,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,LeadingPlastic,2020/03/07,"107 days off alcohol. Idiot me bought a little coke and now I hate myself Fuckin good job I must say. FOOL! Why would I buy coke? Just a little bit too. Now its all gone. Feel like trash.

Idiot. What's everyone else up to? I wanna die now",-2.296466666666668,-1.6166905800000002,0.19500000000000028,101.08583333333335,124.8,3.2666666666666675,8.166666666666668,5.46131890053228,-1.6323333333333332,181,2,42,2,12,60,41,50,0.309,0.601,0.09,-0.9335,1,0,1,0,0,1,9.0,0,0,0,0,5,7,4,0,2,0,2,4,0,0,2,7,6,1,1,3,1,0,1,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,1,3,0,1,0,2,1,0,5,0,0,2,2,6,2,4,2,2,9,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,0,5,23,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27524839641327525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28118379197874466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16610192682549854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673018438177276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151544890166817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24610522325673845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130227749581975,0.18399763016593304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21602525099504988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542826369453437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25558399436100576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12582855945975222,0.5162763487112554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20481839264755475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23240368951244386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18295996747317744,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,please-i-need-help,2020/03/07,Codine addiction please help urgent I need serious help my cousin stole his dads pain meds with the active compound codeine 15mg tablets and now he is addicted to the point where if he stops he will get sick and he only has a limited amount however kid knows how to get shit on the deep web so he may go to stronger stuff like he said if he could do heroin he would and he has take up to 10 pills in one day but due to the other shit like paracetamol in the pills he says an od is 20 pills so its either get more pure codeine and continue to raise dose over time or go on to like oxys then probs heroin and such so im in this fucked situation not knowing what to do where i am the only one he has told and he’s judgment is all off I except going off pills is a stupid idea as the sickness would fuck him over so i said he just needs to slowly reduce the dose until he doesn’t need to take them and has no withdrawals however he doesn’t wanna listen to the advice so i cant really tell his parent as they would get mad and take the pills however i cant let him go down the path as that would worsen his addiction and lead to harder opiates or od neither of which i can live with so i need to do something i just need some help I’m 17 btw so still a stupid kid so its hard for me to help him i also don’t live by him so any help would be appreciated thanks.,3.878503401360547,3.787187598639459,4.907891156462586,88.96687074829933,70.97278911564626,8.30204081632653,24.49659863945579,7.984000788550335,0.9674639455782312,1070,24,252,13,18,352,158,294,0.16899999999999998,0.7190000000000001,0.11199999999999999,-0.9722,4,0,1,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,2,2,18,13,7,0,15,0,28,17,2,2,2,44,54,30,2,14,10,3,1,3,0,7,13,4,0,2,8,11,0,2,3,0,0,5,8,9,0,2,3,5,21,4,36,41,6,29,0,0,0,2,40,15,4,6,12,150,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3172083351859021,0.0,0.09477992164731412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775648452723072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659582073616254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07744059699831392,0.0,0.0,0.06255212082099314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793359559513088,0.2026982548058882,0.0,0.2204922294171565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688620416011561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250600492525495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10949269556788886,0.10476851436812372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660905270503372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918137464452503,0.0,0.1421568684569228,0.0,0.1712922605286553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10773677163820344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35959344711977514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13144921919753985,0.14753429207631816,0.10320682929291683,0.0,0.10769866250441486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064686085896713,0.09168923731693876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06213586156294022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18452410493477128,0.07713230718094652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19912275854891,0.0,0.10902360299466972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07466954400833448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07745831388517915,0.08109005010446306,0.0,0.0,0.1110331758476042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187788055328713,0.0,0.08477569614299985,0.08929763739336176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05655709074872941,0.0,0.0,0.0926804640623216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3445033483208908,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,3yearsofroses,2020/03/07,"Coming up on 8 months and struggling I (25f) go through really frustrating cycles of loving being sober and feeling like my life has so much more meaning and value now, and then feeling like my life is doomed to never really improve and to just be on a constant non-high, non-drunk survival mode. 
I got sober back in November 2018 but I relapsed on marijuana in the summer of 2019. I had this same feeling back then that led me to use again.
I’m having a really hard time lately. I haven’t been getting to meetings, I’m working the steps (on step 8) and I am working around 50 hours a week between 3 jobs and still not really making ends meet. I feel too emotionally exhausted from all my jobs to get to meetings even though I know meetings would help my spiritual fitness and all that. Not only that but I feel isolated from most of my friends because I don’t see them as often because I’m so busy and I think a lot of us just naturally fell apart since the much less time consuming periods of early sobriety.
I do suffer from anxiety and depression and my medication works pretty well but they might need adjustment. That may have a contributing factor to my still fairly unstable moods.
I need advice. Anyone else know this feeling? How’d you get through it? Do I really just need to pull my head out of ass, get more humble, and get to more meetings? Or is this some kind of multi-factor thing...should I look at new/better jobs?
TL;DR — Life is wearing me down with multiple jobs and virtually no time for myself and my recovery is suffering. I’m sick of meetings and all of it but I know I have nothing without my sobriety. What’s gotten you guys through slumps?",4.514156410256408,5.949805701538466,5.521403846153849,79.59605448717952,70.44615384615385,8.73974358974359,29.23397435897436,9.188382445141503,2.546797435897436,1323,51,247,27,24,436,185,325,0.142,0.755,0.10300000000000001,-0.9554,4,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,1,2,2,4,17,14,1,1,8,0,20,10,3,3,4,60,52,26,0,4,11,0,7,2,1,3,6,0,0,1,10,19,0,0,12,0,0,7,7,7,1,0,4,9,35,6,40,43,13,41,1,4,2,2,15,13,1,7,23,168,45,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09208617056583723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07209015838320895,0.0,0.0,0.06589188924868339,0.09655575263933457,0.0,0.08388987526650106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144923085680366,0.0,0.1148905847540524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08117583050495533,0.0,0.10183546333360732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116518946353854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07872195084123709,0.10600263431768936,0.08346498207658272,0.0,0.0,0.06224188245380015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28589082796117665,0.1346442034560911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280637492720121,0.0,0.2461716804181056,0.0,0.053556398585410135,0.0,0.07536900851555405,0.0,0.0,0.0933082956783903,0.0,0.0,0.0844168013335058,0.0,0.09671315716068164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631642960225173,0.09956533709610267,0.0,0.0,0.09280331838528984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3740581148336465,0.0,0.0,0.09813212421319097,0.15536865678875988,0.0,0.10630213025393973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19968467847971824,0.0920777411383342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913437029000353,0.0,0.0,0.08011593983779737,0.08505152330039525,0.0,0.062903153834705,0.0,0.0,0.102650454117746,0.0,0.09493269299865598,0.0,0.09996933249597008,0.0,0.0,0.07521814708806578,0.0,0.13854836816568294,0.2096240401783495,0.07268048797080727,0.09101355987422463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042182842671942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07167060147509037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09587172597116587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30184945538527513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509376238929925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07795285926809209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15051372443026065,0.0,0.0,0.09851575901060276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06260610365805994,0.0603825201217925,0.09258623269207786,0.0,0.16484902545419927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11335411055131828,0.08138950773072251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559030528556053,0.0,0.08472933592270486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083998533083157,0.0,0.20581443793038587,0.0,0.0,0.06694243578725008,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,rach_mentalhealth,2020/03/07,"Survey to help with addiction In the spirit of recovery and the difficulties associated with it, I’m sharing a survey to be completed by anyone who is/is not yet sure whether they want to address their addiction. It’s meant to hopefully clarify one’s goals and steps that would be required.

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/77RNVZZ

It doesn’t take alot of time and would be very helpful! 

Thanks and hope everyone has a nice weekend :) (no names are collected on this survey so no need to worry about that either!)",5.3406666666666665,8.418445955555555,5.616666666666671,72.60500000000002,72.77777777777777,8.888888888888891,28.88888888888889,9.444778638647367,3.1775555555555552,416,17,67,11,9,132,67,90,0.09300000000000001,0.6559999999999999,0.251,0.9416,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,2,2,3,6,0,0,5,0,8,2,0,0,1,20,16,6,0,6,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,7,6,0,1,1,1,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,0,2,6,13,10,2,6,1,0,0,0,7,2,0,3,3,47,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.478904538358928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15358525148466318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23030014209805605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098861691196347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944551871280234,0.0,0.0,0.4363264776835407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16286860843886666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14884136225616393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20701869063672032,0.0,0.16515039367586887,0.0,0.0,0.20222534720287905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12808040220666322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18123527358922412,0.12955599006793195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22306649246840413,0.0,0.31206787216489323,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Sir-Amar,2020/03/07,"I’ve been addicted to reddit Please help me guys. I’ve been looking for a way to permanently block this app or somehow disable it. Are they any free apps that can do that? I have an iPhone, but I forgot my screen time password, so that’s no longer an option. Please help me out if you can, thank you.",1.5131182795698948,3.5276065483870984,2.523870967741935,95.37247311827957,80.29032258064517,5.423655913978496,20.010752688172047,6.42735559955562,-0.06323440860215035,234,6,53,2,6,74,48,62,0.075,0.7,0.225,0.8494,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,1,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,7,1,0,0,0,8,10,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,8,3,4,7,0,3,0,0,2,0,6,1,0,4,1,33,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3177447194419287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19820921868963232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886005770238664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3907316524617778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24476092679725736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6398918517548681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26834590639384165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699581783234813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313548800282811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Rather_Not-Please,2020/03/07,"Addiction to self harm I don't know why or remember how but I'm addicted to cutting myself. It feels nice to bleed and see the skin open. The spots I cut on the most are the arms, face, neck, and stomach. The only problem that I find with it is people saying I shouldn't do it or call me depressed with no reason of saying why except saying its bad.",2.2674429223744283,3.756396589041096,3.8645890410958894,89.02555936073061,76.26027397260273,6.510502283105023,21.755707762557076,7.1686216300943375,0.6000885844748858,273,7,58,3,6,91,53,73,0.265,0.691,0.044000000000000004,-0.9552,0,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,7,2,0,5,0,5,8,5,2,0,18,9,6,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,1,3,3,0,1,5,5,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,0,6,6,1,8,8,1,2,0,1,1,0,5,2,0,3,0,37,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44866129706262375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17181776144227368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21012445714295755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772380711405695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10404858544146754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188079254242798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113091343825879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565050146114163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142661989108523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969037339870448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115761826508614,0.0,0.0,0.2331087027547996,0.0,0.0,0.4909337087321405,0.0,0.0,0.16398007185761074,0.0,0.2146734900159985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3713690088751218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,FantasticToe6,2020/03/07,"Finally got help ive been trying to find a cool hotline and stumbled upon  [https://go.thetreatmenttea.com/vsl36883518](https://go.thetreatmenttea.com/vsl36883518) . i was a little bit proudful i admit, but hey the first step is getting help, which i did. hope this help guys. stay strong you can do it.",7.950952380952383,12.262569111111116,5.01047619047619,70.59,80.1111111111111,4.34920634920635,19.761904761904766,6.1826913282559595,0.24585714285714344,250,6,35,2,7,69,39,45,0.0,0.585,0.415,0.9637,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,3,0,4,0,0,3,1,7,0,0,0,0,5,11,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,1,5,4,2,7,1,6,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,1,2,22,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840984387388373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2850639046890405,0.23784104983695656,0.22134735835411695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13595688739516346,0.0,0.2957838708091933,0.0,0.208125804447339,0.0,0.0,0.2576637862453429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.52327024784955,0.0,0.0,0.2584622653423997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608139388022454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2773653591517611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17667577822138347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,cc719,2020/03/07,"Dealing with an addict I (48 f)am set to divorce next month after only 16 months of marriage. My husband k39 m) is spending $1,000 a month on weed and cigarettes. ( that is close to half of what he took home last year) He lies and takes money for our family. I am very allergic to the smoke and it is negatively affecting my health. He knows what he is doing to my health and promises to stop.  I called off the wedding before were married multiple times. He always promised that he would stop. He begged for me to marry him. That he would never do it again. Then he says he needs it. Then he claims he didn't spend that much. He refuses to believe it. But the bank records prove it. 

In December he spent almost $2,000 on weed and didn't even get a Christmas present for me or an anniversary present. Nothing.  Weed was more important.  He keeps crying and making promises. But he never follows through.  

I have had to contribute every cent of my income and not be able to spend any money just to pay bills.  I needed a root canal and had to wait to get it done because he was spending the money on weed. He knew and promised he would stop, but of course he doesn't.  

He will get hundreds of dollars of weed and it is gone in 24 hours.  

My physical health is getting really bad. I have autoimmune issues and and allergic to the smoke. My allergies got worse after we got married. But that shouldn't master because he promised before we got married he would not smoke. 

I have tried to help him. I have tried to be tough. I have tried everything in between. He just won't stop. Meanwhile, my boss is worried about me because of the stress (and she didn't even know exactly what is happening). My doctors have told me I can't be around the smoke and he knows that. He just doesn't even shower when he comes in.  The smoke clings to him.  

Things are desperate. We have a court date next month. I wish we were not here. It sucks. 

And to add insult to injury, I had been receiving $28,000 a year in maintenance and I have that up to marry him.  I barely make mote than that.  I will have to give up my home because i can't afford it.  But the little that he gives covers hisinsurance, phone, has, extra food costs, and some extra... But the little extra that he duress contribute is small and not worth my physical and emotional health. 

I just need support.  I never thought I'd deal with Ann addict. I didn't realize he was addicted before. I thought it was just recreational... That is what he told me. But now he does admit addiction, but he does not want to change. 

I am physically hurting ( from the smoke affecting my health) and emotionally hurting from all the lies.  

I know some Will say that $1000 a month on weed is nor an addiction, but it is for him. He will do anything to get weed.  He would spend more if he could.  I have to pay bills the moment his partial paycheck hits or account or it is gone for more weed.  He had some money go to his account that I cannot get to. 

TLDR: Having to leave addicted husband. Need support.",1.7264548494983245,4.148620341137125,2.7973311036789283,91.39332107023417,82.21070234113712,6.02113712374582,22.410702341137124,7.321109707123232,0.8625711036789303,2356,79,484,35,65,750,246,598,0.10400000000000001,0.8420000000000001,0.054000000000000006,-0.981,3,0,7,0,1,0,87.0,5,0,0,1,14,14,2,1,22,0,67,15,0,6,6,98,111,37,0,14,23,2,0,0,0,11,14,2,3,0,30,30,1,7,10,0,21,7,21,7,0,1,28,2,53,7,61,67,11,55,0,2,0,0,70,17,1,8,30,302,83,4,0.0631670550832893,0.0,0.0,0.4131684830898199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06325268120371202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05256005003657578,0.0,0.0,0.04295576354725267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05198110415164452,0.056232071217500484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052741852504893084,0.15402420193345964,0.0,0.16125153420731034,0.07116764008777329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06450062574018564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06682236862551523,0.05441282476095381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05043375353395417,0.0,0.06938604391259395,0.0,0.13024492026958054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06465415749505099,0.11055583115731786,0.06464182848329972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14210886983104662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251637324194831,0.0,0.05322096828041758,0.0,0.056770476073636035,0.0,0.05954827780858815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638185374131898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19801307494179154,0.12119119016063334,0.035899293089188954,0.0,0.15156139311121675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05585841819774974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33571812864437045,0.0,0.0,0.04233954551795365,0.0,0.12672341315080132,0.0,0.06220682522275549,0.0,0.13524327783753784,0.0,0.0,0.06592999419082221,0.0,0.0561457809088923,0.0,0.0,0.1388598460502846,0.05148958068741544,0.0,0.06688479073046412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12661996754850213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432899953663386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25209670359311737,0.0,0.04643505358072818,0.18735028382964128,0.14615498101696908,0.0,0.13435775939138786,0.0,0.0,0.060610492977312636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0480413918073581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040466432971241854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046595508435444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21124194593249468,0.07235764817870648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14336245109009493,0.0,0.0,0.04749376418563317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041965384599350335,0.0,0.0,0.10029517181521937,0.03683321779506688,0.0,0.0,0.1207176561935181,0.07018092241491104,0.12865885202147798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05211943583288608,0.03725756569008808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07263899595655572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641492106389008,0.0643726256423622,0.22436031789909966,0.0,0.0,0.0813550249207731
addiction,Gurowhore,2020/03/07,"Losing people around me Sorry if this isn’t the usual place, but I felt it was the best place to put it. 

Where I lived, addiction is a big issue. I lived in Vancouver (Canada) for a large portion of my life, but recently moved to Alberta, and I still talk to my old friends who live in Vancouver.

The thing is. Addiction is becoming a bigger and bigger issue in Vancouver. 

I recently found out via my childhood best friend, M, that a friend of ours, E, had died of a cocaine overdose. 

Her death has kinda shocked me and hit a bit hard. I don’t remember a lot about her, but like, the fact someone I knew just...sorta ceases to ‘exist’ now has kinda made me feel some kinda way. 

The thing that really fucked me up though is thinking how much addiction has just. Fucked me up in general. 

E died of a cocaine overdose. Me and M’s friend, N, is currently an addict and has been on and off of being homeless and an addict since 2015. The drugs turned her into a not great person... 

My brother is a recovering meth addict. My mom did meth when I was a kid too. 

And while talking to M about E, I found out M still does coke and molly. 

I myself am a step away from being an addict. I’m already addicted to a few less important things (smoker, a few other things), and I’m apparently a half step away from becoming an alcoholic. 

I don’t really know how to cope with this or what to do about it, I’m only 20, I shouldn’t be in a situation of planning what to do if M overdoses. I shouldn’t have a vivid memory of a kid (under 15) who died of overdose outside of my house and the fact my brother did CPR on her and that maybe if I had looked out my window and saw her on the ground before my brother got home, I could have helped. 

I just needed somewhere to get this off my mind. I’ve been mauling over it ever since I found out about E. I can’t help but stress myself out over what’d happen if N or M overdosed. I can’t help but stress about where I’m going to go in the future and if I’m going to end up turning to drugs as well. It sure as hell is tempting and it’s not like I haven’t tried. Though the drugs I’m in preference too are a lot lighter than coke and meth (I got a preference to things like benzos) And of course, some good ol alcohol. 

Idk man, it’s just fucked up, one friends already died, I’m just waiting for the rest to follow. 

Sorry if this isn’t appropriate for this sub. Not sure where to post it. Almost posted it to r/depression but realized it might fit this one better. If someone had a better idea where this could go I got no problems deleting it and reposting it to the other sub. 

I’m just all kinds of fucked up right now.",2.8156443458980043,3.8880257600000014,4.4238891352549885,87.23841906873615,74.12727272727273,7.62039911308204,24.1419068736142,8.096554002634818,1.1982177383592014,2048,59,446,31,41,689,232,550,0.14300000000000002,0.732,0.125,-0.9275,2,0,11,0,0,0,68.0,1,0,0,6,28,28,5,2,37,0,41,20,0,3,6,89,79,41,5,15,23,4,3,3,5,3,14,0,2,4,33,26,4,1,13,0,0,9,13,10,1,3,19,6,46,18,72,51,14,68,1,1,3,4,26,41,5,18,18,304,79,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5016421708734676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12294273702284615,0.05759795388186632,0.0,0.12694946236328886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051204979504921616,0.0,0.0,0.10808383428751013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270526034475908,0.04894526869008989,0.0,0.12072734618505875,0.10174350068806524,0.06279692351127207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185005140833873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04954187677345578,0.0,0.2387866430354237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0503361244392348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20011475547190116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05094563179445677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05203011739004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029083831511037325,0.0,0.0552282036839047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892030762019898,0.22219897956289272,0.21270518838910707,0.030051816886023514,0.0,0.13075972675898911,0.04824503243154557,0.1380119540320604,0.06341598393739196,0.0,0.0,0.05086473069665197,0.0,0.051526606380344585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156632957076526,0.0,0.05769723249284332,0.0,0.0,0.06637033719990107,0.0,0.06493305905794566,0.0,0.12007183545641816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059898210518825185,0.031611478188129274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04062806481520593,0.08430407423189863,0.0,0.15237359549039334,0.0,0.04830229865000868,0.0643501475460269,0.0,0.09780286463365608,0.0,0.05442679836047811,0.0,0.0,0.0577865537852432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06101961178646473,0.05807878537482108,0.06736670849340985,0.0,0.06113463859669493,0.04228380558337209,0.042650338303528566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06035754589089822,0.0,0.07795405774792062,0.04374653875666055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03987711352977337,0.050224230202715166,0.12019227873454613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101764867779935,0.0,0.0,0.055038855154786175,0.0,0.05782346969124045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07369754754062313,0.0,0.11358808721320728,0.0,0.06515892749441543,0.04912175090110548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09516224808994588,0.0646548704938364,0.0,0.0,0.09747298928356556,0.0,0.0,0.1287778226975227,0.0,0.0,0.09187106489522344,0.0,0.13177789157664554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084238058572693,0.0,0.0,0.09246476647518846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910686030054259,0.03685648232840507,0.1130261818217026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03905229250999752,0.1251304476934868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06335013452942341,0.0,0.0,0.04565668489447877,0.0,0.0,0.051717372276511166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,idkdepresseddd,2020/03/07,"Amphetamine For 1 month I am taking this ALL THE TIME. I know that this is very little time, but I feel desperate, because I give all my money for this, I lost many friends, my relationship is going down. Everything was under control, but my boyfriend opened my eyes. Now I absolutely cannot stop it. I tried for 2 days and it was horrible. Now I haven’t taken since yesterday and I feel sooooo depressed and annoyed. I am pissed off. How did your withdrawal went? How did you overcome everything?",2.484429400386848,5.257084425531918,3.559748549323018,84.76136363636364,82.40425531914894,7.247969052224373,25.56673114119923,8.296473431620573,2.0398638297872345,392,16,74,9,11,126,64,94,0.24100000000000002,0.6809999999999999,0.077,-0.9643,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,0,2,4,5,2,0,1,0,10,2,2,3,2,15,19,7,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,2,3,0,1,2,2,4,0,0,7,3,16,1,6,12,2,15,0,2,1,0,5,5,1,0,8,50,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13802187955799627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539462454179118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14602042218218428,0.0,0.19501288166336586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40697852481498015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22896677163502474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17492943799995836,0.0,0.0,0.2172000976712406,0.12867816472410792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12443302225499668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269296083503389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24716122034525775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22955159629607105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18072412217570294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430874370978157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18729472351689014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18929499424828894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17023762546141305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640514873079713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15372247871755512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18681797808022532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20989109788556345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,thenamesmudd,2020/03/07,Wife’s adderal. I have battled an addiction of adderal since 2005. My wife used to be prescribed it and I used to take them. The lack of trust almost ruined our marriage. It’s been 6 years and now since we have had two children I have been doing pretty damn good but she just got prescribed it again and she keeps it in a lock box that I know the combination too. Yesterday my drug radar went off and I looked and there they were. She just got the refilled the same day I looked. I didn’t take one and that was pretty difficult but I don’t know if I can stay this strong. I could tell her I know the combo but that might end badly. Heeellllllppppp.  I don’t want to go back.,0.8388579136690666,3.170740597122304,1.9751034172661868,96.37546088129496,85.47482014388491,4.913848920863308,18.04001798561152,6.322622252153567,-0.3128816546762589,529,13,119,5,16,167,87,139,0.10300000000000001,0.773,0.124,0.5939,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,2,0,2,1,7,8,2,0,7,0,16,2,0,2,0,25,31,10,0,4,6,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,8,7,0,1,3,0,0,2,3,5,0,2,9,2,22,3,7,19,2,12,0,1,2,0,13,2,1,3,7,81,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18490503184018806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16984459624535878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13042321540275378,0.14162116883355338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13542351633324418,0.0,0.0,0.10938743351714172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966991739299984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15022825776660814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639592858664894,0.14226474209459514,0.2713127004208641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15076131648300084,0.0,0.0,0.2796473687551665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848672169417569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17993436621337186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149352934571115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34511820414724065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2806140238555608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18078667562269515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25505825361938195,0.0,0.14825070203853993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16568889152015245,0.0,0.0,0.2929852410595266,0.0,0.0,0.10004312989259624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15723450304198752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092262896785228
addiction,call_me_your_majesty,2020/03/07,"What does it mean to surrender the outcome? [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUnRKf2CemA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUnRKf2CemA)  
The guy talks about 3 principlies for recovery:  
\- rigorous authenticity  
\- surrenderring the outcome  
\- do uncomfortable work  


What did he mean by surrendering the outcome?  
If I need to get done something I need to care about the outcome,  
so I am missing something here and I want to know what.",11.124116222760293,16.06760523728814,7.897142857142861,53.456271186440716,64.42372881355932,9.473123486682807,35.54721549636804,9.606745405546679,4.62001985472155,355,16,43,9,7,101,40,59,0.126,0.804,0.07,-0.563,0,0,2,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,8,13,3,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,4,1,8,11,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,29,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26110118103635793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22410639249300504,0.26206934241089075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337966389986436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535697106031145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14074055992660092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5579149368161339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3797755016816437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3943017282884369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058357241276882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15104872447651302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18643682602395206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Ollie-hi,2020/03/07,"Cocaine and ADHD Just a thought 💭.. wondered if anyone knows of any correlation between addition to specifically cocaine and undiagnosed/unmedicated ADHD .

The meds they hand out are stimulates which help the synapses absorb more dopamine and therefore can help significantly in the symptoms of ADHD as it’s a lack of dopamine that is one of the causes of ADHD.

Is it possible some, but not all of cocaine addicts might have undiagnosed adhd and are just simply without knowing just self medicating?

I’m posting this because I’m starting to think this might be what happened to me.
I’m a long time user of Coke . 14years on and off .
Started at 16/17 and remember the first line like it was yesterday.
It hit me like a train and I believe I was addicted from That first line. 
After what seems like a life of chaos and darkness + not understanding what’s going on, I’ve recently been to see a psychiatrist who said in the first 20 minutes on speaking to me thinks there is a very good chance I have ADHD. 
I remember at school I had help and was in special needs all through secondary school . Had a few panic attacks . Ran away from primary school on lots of occasions.
Had tests done on me and was home schooled for abit by at least 3-4 people. 
But my parents said there’s nothing wrong with me my whole life so I just assumed I’m dumb until a few weeks ago when the psychiatrist said about ADHD.
Could it be related ?",5.422374269005848,6.7689478962962975,5.991364522417152,77.41798245614035,68.18518518518519,8.7953216374269,33.840155945419106,9.134995656068208,3.0570740740740745,1132,53,206,21,19,367,155,270,0.078,0.799,0.124,0.8778,1,0,3,0,1,0,23.0,0,0,1,3,9,9,2,1,16,0,22,8,1,3,2,46,45,17,0,4,10,1,1,3,0,2,6,4,1,1,14,13,1,0,11,0,0,2,3,4,0,4,14,6,14,5,40,25,10,31,0,0,1,0,11,14,1,8,17,143,28,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17033007036800565,0.6572162814216725,0.0,0.06925086542640865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05312596575371677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054625054885706806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08887559982956805,0.07339864217467919,0.0,0.0,0.04762273907760554,0.0,0.0,0.0880172833132586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025330742157633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06237444388874343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07994642121734682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993528263123492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04439880606803629,0.06552543024573303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06908345160634999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15709155601951338,0.0,0.07836321777679299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858681445357013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11036043683234026,0.11450009373195905,0.0,0.0,0.06913593697513883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06641693933441302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08677646451315188,0.07870018032004074,0.0,0.16575121268325005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05792682949130825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496062712717265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0529378146919154,0.0,0.0,0.09165989857553382,0.08674576955315311,0.0,0.0,0.05416029152232105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807135877750345,0.07481974138306181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713652484321495,0.0,0.17699508294372662,0.0,0.2229371068050732,0.0,0.0,0.3162564845792338,0.06225350250025895,0.07111977227873867,0.0814987851636925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11059098775013332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08119916992486996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001154622640029,0.0,0.06202052324430472,0.045553846692245915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08132825745977718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445922815724306,0.0,0.0,0.06266514167574247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08722095969449938,0.0,0.07530728350777444,0.08472049774746175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08541466868246098,0.0,0.0
addiction,jestersmalls,2020/03/07,"11 hours ago I thought my life was looking up I lay here thinking about my day and internally want to cut my wrists and not wake up in the morning. Addiction is not a joke and people will never fully grasp how easy it is not to be in control of your actions. I have an addiction to gambling and know my life would be better without it. I’ve lost friends over it. I’ve seen my anger issues grow and can’t help but find myself giving in. 11 hours ago, I had extra money. Was going to pay off two loans. Have enough money to take a vacation. No one wanted to hang after work, so I went for a drink at the casino with $200 extra in my pocket to play with. An hour ago, I walked out the casino with about $3000 left behind. So much for paying off loans. So much for vacation. I got outside and couldn’t even make it to the car before the tears of hatred for myself started to come. I wish I could punch some sense into me. I wish I had someone who knew what this is like",2.2842647058823538,3.5245470833333385,3.727598039215689,91.04669117647059,75.71568627450979,6.080392156862747,21.083333333333336,6.322622252153567,0.15101568627450934,751,17,166,5,16,248,124,204,0.085,0.787,0.128,0.8029999999999999,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,4,8,8,2,0,10,0,16,7,2,3,1,35,35,11,0,7,5,0,0,1,1,2,4,0,0,0,7,12,1,1,6,5,9,8,8,3,0,2,10,2,21,5,35,19,6,31,0,1,2,0,5,13,0,1,11,115,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927423496344864,0.0,0.0,0.35705957876988786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425158243677487,0.0,0.0,0.11874851510031825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156593894939586,0.0,0.0,0.1505921931271503,0.10720151304866142,0.0,0.0,0.08659130038162208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315308372035804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13873401207180364,0.0,0.08868228487199538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227178790883172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10373458236234874,0.0,0.0,0.1288014280420478,0.07630720037419905,0.0,0.10738582478859662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899965404768365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3966787311206209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14014017671294793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378979629323452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14588181353283494,0.0,0.18967392848007708,0.06559622032688901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275071531509558,0.0,0.14656861796291756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962446487470707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19740382793433695,0.0,0.10355521852423084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098299685982686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308403949389303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11376424696944196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09503508550318164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009522992899676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860330639052331,0.0,0.10659323782859437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13115964159878762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583886637268971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12446713160273785,0.0,0.0,0.30880153576655056,0.1294288851699863,0.0,0.09774819299453733,0.0,0.0,0.09537963709431016,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,debensam,2020/03/07,"seriously, fuck vaping I was one of those kids who said he was never gonna vape. one juul and several months later, I've been vaping almost daily ever since. I've spent hundreds of dollars on this bullshit and anytime I think about that I feel like I did wrong by myself. I know I'm addicted. the last time I tried to go a day without vaping, I had a horrible withdrawal experience. I want to quit but when I think about that, I get scared and keep puffing. I fucking hate it.
I intend on getting a chantix prescription soon from my physician sister. any advice on how to ease into the quitting process? I think going cold turkey is what killed me last time, so Im going to start by cutting back (one puff in the morning and one at night) for a few days, then taking chantix regularly.
are there any former vape addicts with advice? I want to kick this gross habit. I don't care what people say, it's just as disgusting as cigarettes, just disgusting in it's own special fucked up way.",3.496778350515463,5.308720469072167,4.892358247422681,81.58276417525776,73.69072164948453,7.73659793814433,26.55798969072165,8.472884824447931,1.9597226804123704,777,28,146,14,16,259,132,194,0.23600000000000002,0.6970000000000001,0.067,-0.9916,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,2,11,15,8,1,7,0,8,6,0,2,2,23,32,11,1,2,4,1,1,1,0,1,3,2,0,1,11,6,0,1,5,0,2,3,3,12,0,4,7,4,18,3,25,24,2,29,0,0,0,3,6,8,3,1,18,91,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683751713334153,0.0,0.2405666077105917,0.0,0.0,0.1232580643256889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16741248483726354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09464954098658934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12549969015685344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15876729215924418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11134304474231947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204068207767929,0.0,0.0,0.0622386132427102,0.08793638359130324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3413875149972101,0.12862015155741455,0.0,0.20986671043634755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152708425031605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13295962719933382,0.0,0.0,0.10940912137141397,0.1361821841743199,0.0,0.06764770880462218,0.20067152657237086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601361466526243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09825022786844664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09493552794329192,0.0,0.0,0.11551276028262103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33363915267020344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533594500000216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618453026124831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708792641275916,0.09788706912239488,0.12323577264469905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13905802852269886,0.0,0.10182231924857094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712459057067544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09254926952753946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366156276473255,0.0,0.0,0.14355094651829653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357085031415222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452047673254349,0.0977040714877392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11865553199377615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458091276846082,0.0,0.0
addiction,Souljiaragmurder,2020/03/07,Tounge chewing I'm gonna chew my tounge off one of these days I swear.,-2.2783333333333324,-0.7689404999999994,-0.9724999999999984,111.53416666666668,110.25,2.1333333333333333,11.583333333333332,3.1291,-2.238266666666666,56,1,15,0,3,17,14,16,0.091,0.909,0.0,-0.0516,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6894080924612379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7243731649149886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,spacecatJ,2020/03/07,"""Pothead"" I know marijuana isn't a huge threat to your health, but considering it isn't actually sobriety, I haven't been clean for a while... I would advocate for the legality of weed any day, but for personal preference, I need to be in tune with myself. I considered switching to hoppy IPA beers for that sense of what I crave (for a week or two, beers are full of sugar and I'm intuitive), but any other tips to avoid temptation?",11.578214285714287,6.871906107142856,11.6252380952381,61.58642857142861,59.35714285714286,16.43809523809524,43.47619047619048,14.06817628641468,5.739576190476189,339,13,67,11,3,116,60,84,0.094,0.8809999999999999,0.025,-0.6463,0,1,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,4,0,7,4,0,0,0,11,10,6,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,4,2,3,1,2,2,0,0,3,2,0,1,1,1,8,0,14,7,1,6,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,3,45,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.3436364197197096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4789325668668336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227100227447906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37430680266807104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935261330835126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611062664473889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3074737916519691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.343988187125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28246429716656424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501491163956903,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,reefa_latifah,2020/03/07,"Sober Chronicles It’s 8:45 on Friday March 6th. I would be high right now watching tv, producing, or even listening to Bill Burr’s podcast. This FUCKING SUCKS. If I died tonight I would hate everything about the situation; I didn’t get one last high. Yea, it’s a fucking addiction — it’s hard for me to find a solid reason to quit, (besides brain scans on weed, check that shit out for a real mindfuck). The only thing holding me back is this; I’ve become too emotionally dependant. I’m bored as fuck, hence me writing this, and I don’t know how I’ll make it through this month without sleeping everyday away — but fuck it it’s a start. And the fact that I’ve used weed as an easy way out (not to see the world and entertain myself with simple pleasures in my own home) means that one day when I’m not stashed, I’m set up for failure. Instead of fucking the dog and using excuses like “it’s cold as balls outside” I wanna ride this out in hopes that I’ll have an answer to why my life is SO FUCKING BORING RIGHT NOW. Stay tuned for tomorrow, 

love y’all.",3.935070422535212,4.917260441314556,4.739549295774649,86.37411267605634,71.34741784037557,7.933521126760564,28.75399061032865,8.238735603445708,1.8211179342723,826,31,173,12,15,267,139,213,0.139,0.752,0.109,-0.6931,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,2,10,16,9,0,11,1,8,12,3,7,1,33,30,13,1,5,6,0,1,1,0,2,2,1,1,0,17,8,0,1,5,3,2,1,5,11,0,2,1,6,13,5,27,26,1,30,0,0,3,7,5,14,8,4,13,97,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12483986839442858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075920042728741,0.0880561057988428,0.0,0.0,0.12647445700945698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12783826652720567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385365702804116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885002825413925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12881562849167352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756370561769441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10292002974749266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466598969474243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6352118526017504,0.05983013523017304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10258427433456382,0.1130613173252149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24198590075755344,0.11486936831626375,0.11374070548104323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629352635148344,0.09334621695194303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08088637772728187,0.05594696854080357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10335559581736108,0.0,0.07644064081503457,0.0,0.0,0.12474202030209865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09140596319606202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15519866351135464,0.0870949446946846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12180237447237972,0.0,0.13034482710016654,0.0,0.11774201595036354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19559289944448355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125480947002974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11754952288854438,0.0,0.12872132355946267,0.11459918420134264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08105535520831805,0.12205933266169874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607966200121173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19781094419860784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09089785292377764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333331289609424,0.0,0.0,0.11038980189393977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16269844601888536,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,HopeThisHelps90,2020/03/07,"I need to quit coke and I’m not sure how. I’ve gotten bad before and successfully quit the habit for 8 months. But for the last 6, I’ve been doing it everyday. It’s in every environment I’m around and I can afford it so the temptation is ridiculous. Help.",-0.8983333333333334,1.1540947222222258,2.0462962962962976,91.07833333333332,101.77777777777777,5.362962962962963,15.25925925925926,6.937597516519254,0.09801481481481478,201,5,44,4,9,70,39,54,0.145,0.747,0.10800000000000001,-0.2644,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,3,3,4,1,0,3,0,4,1,0,1,1,9,8,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,2,2,5,6,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,24,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729418201903773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25600083566578263,0.0,0.0,0.2608967107329119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25832638990951257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055096383521986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499225009746521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447277208643356,0.0,0.0,0.22734236163851146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6522204122843055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889698541897353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,swistheb,2020/03/07,"So over this After a three day bender I stood at the side of my bed facing the window ready to call it a night, slack jawed and a thousand yard stare, I breifly contemplate my s**tty existence before finally hitting the light switch. As i turn back to crawl into bed I notice the moonlight shining through my window, its so bright and beautiful... For a breif moment I'm snapped back to reality... life is suddenly more than just that drug. I can finally think about something other than that wretched drug.

Why on earth do I do this to myself? Every f**king time! I do the same s**t over and over and over and over and over again
I'm ready to beat this, I swear I am! Right now, this version of me wants to so desperately. 

I'm scared to fall asleep because  the me that wakes up won't feel the same.

How do I beat ???",3.840185185185185,5.12770048765432,4.461419753086421,87.12138888888893,71.90123456790123,7.375308641975309,25.84567901234568,7.793537801064563,1.2947308641975308,637,20,131,8,12,203,100,162,0.05,0.885,0.065,0.5431,0,0,3,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,2,10,2,0,1,11,0,8,7,4,1,0,14,17,11,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,5,0,10,7,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,1,0,2,1,5,16,1,26,14,4,25,0,0,3,0,1,12,0,0,12,91,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3128747253371723,0.0,0.12401875098089092,0.0,0.1731175024453409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20774104176795588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13120579457931109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.471865379390865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714119710870492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10286837538091448,0.0,0.0,0.4457301452418844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436998773983636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19092022406893872,0.0,0.0,0.2316245404260975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17374171312830805,0.0,0.0,0.2036848679667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15662261684979292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13035993754604133,0.0,0.0,0.11863095820550995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22129075153028874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11999768097404308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18357830838216813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,D3adbaby,2020/03/08,Meth addiction I’m 16 and addicted to meth have been on it for a while and I’m currently a week clean. Can someone please give me some advice and inspiration on how to deal with these withdrawals and this addiction. This addiction has completely destroyed my life and I  feel like I can’t live without it but at the same time I just want it to leave me alone so I can go back to being a teenager that had plans for the future and was only worried about hanging out with friends not worried about where I’m gonna get my next fix or what bad things I’m gonna do to get it,2.3895000000000017,3.979025616666668,3.5450000000000017,91.02,76.16666666666666,7.133333333333333,25.333333333333336,7.908726449838941,1.2372333333333332,454,16,101,7,10,147,80,120,0.133,0.7609999999999999,0.106,-0.6538,1,1,2,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,7,5,1,0,5,0,10,5,0,1,0,20,22,11,0,1,5,0,1,1,1,2,5,0,1,0,10,9,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,3,1,8,3,16,16,2,14,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,2,8,66,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6786218736969516,0.0,0.15207606693119102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161181750968167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11966689863623438,0.12994132987149187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16317105124834255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16044372111565094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07868925453352668,0.11117934848884788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12023637293648134,0.0,0.16261647419060407,0.1492907782933921,0.08844592413629948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647856160320996,0.0,0.0,0.10992334803738288,0.07603107306006845,0.0,0.13742073650305126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165510169862266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183606954220343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708307726419445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13186152692721062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10339109501135377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09074685617637827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09179233196436108,0.0,0.12483390562687527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500180494455807,0.0,0.0,0.3160918073498421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,EricCartman17,2020/03/08,"Betting addiction .. 😟 Anyone here with same problem or someone who had it?
I have really boring life so i kill my time with betting when i am free and it s huge problem because of mental health and lose of money 😢
How to defeat this illnes ?",1.115624999999998,3.652699312500001,3.017500000000002,87.67750000000002,87.125,4.866666666666667,22.583333333333336,6.42735559955562,0.7759333333333327,189,7,35,2,6,63,40,48,0.319,0.5870000000000001,0.094,-0.9252,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,4,7,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,11,3,6,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,6,0,0,1,0,4,2,5,2,1,3,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,3,2,24,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31084221254069383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19937492991277925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738173130575029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030880723062837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3154626504907179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20140121053085544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3189961833662907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2873517657419439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5456765959602186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18266653057865484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.241596272491224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662661028080815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,cherrytreefactory,2020/03/08,"Inspiring (and hard truth) 

“I AM METH”

(This was written by a young Indian girl who was in jail for drug charges, and was addicted to meth. She wrote this while in jail. As you will soon read, she fully grasped the horrors of the drug, as she tells in this simple, yet profound poem. She was released from jail, but, true to her story, the drug owned her. They found her dead not long after, with the needle still in her arm.)

Please keep praying for our Children, Teens, Young adults. Understand, this thing is worse than any of us realize …

I destroy homes, I tear families apart,
I take your children, and that’s just the start.

I’m more costly than diamonds, more precious than gold,
The sorrow I bring is a sight to behold.

If you need me, remember I’m easily found,
I live all around you – in schools and in town

I live with the rich, I live with the poor,
I live down the street, and maybe next door.

I’m made in a lab, but not like you think,
I can be made under the kitchen sink.

In your child’s closet, and even in the woods,
If this scares you to death, well it certainly should.

I have many names, but there’s one you know best,
I’m sure you’ve heard of me, my name is crystal meth.

My power is awesome, try me you’ll see,
But if you do, you may never break free.

Just try me once and I might let you go,
But try me twice, and I’ll own your soul.

When I possess you, you’ll steal and you’ll lie,
You do what you have to — just to get high.

The crimes you’ll commit for my narcotic charms
Will be worth the pleasure you’ll feel in your arms.

You’ll lie to your mother, you’ll steal from your dad,
When you see their tears, you should feel sad.

But you’ll forget your morals and how you were raised,
I’ll be your conscience, I’ll teach you my ways.

I take kids from parents, and parents from kids,
I turn people from God, and separate friends.

I’ll take everything from you, your looks and your pride,
I’ll be with you always — right by your side.

You’ll give up everything – your family, your home,
Your friends, your money, then you’ll be alone.

I’ll take and take, till you have nothing more to give,
When I’m finished with you, you’ll be lucky to live.

If you try me be warned – this is no game,
If given the chance, I’ll drive you insane.

I’ll ravish your body, I’ll control your mind,
I’ll own you completely, your soul will be mine.

The nightmares I’ll give you while lying in bed,
The voices you’ll hear, from inside your head.

The sweats, the shakes, the visions you’ll see,
I want you to know, these are all gifts from me.

But then it’s too late, and you’ll know in your heart,
That you are mine, and we shall not part.

You’ll regret that you tried me, they always do,
But you came to me, not I to you.

You knew this would happen, many times you were told,
But you challenged my power, and chose to be bold.

You could have said no, and just walked away,
If you could live that day over, now what would you say?

I’ll be your master, you will be my slave,
I’ll even go with you, when you go to your grave.

Now that you have met me, what will you do?
Will you try me or not? It’s all up to you.

I can bring you more misery than words can tell,
Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell.",2.5301353383458647,3.5841461413533864,2.905270676691728,97.92196616541356,74.80451127819549,6.282406015037594,19.465413533834585,6.360717304075467,-0.3167287218045107,2444,41,596,16,50,750,276,665,0.134,0.7390000000000001,0.127,-0.7654,4,1,6,0,0,0,121.0,3,81,3,8,20,29,2,2,22,0,69,12,7,5,9,100,121,46,3,15,25,4,4,1,2,28,4,5,6,7,21,28,1,2,14,2,6,11,8,10,1,2,19,14,134,20,65,59,12,63,5,4,5,0,124,25,1,10,26,375,155,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810409157787107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420305608316485,0.0,0.0,0.11922947067097865,0.0,0.0,0.048721347738849306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06377962046582697,0.0,0.0,0.06731323785303098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518745631749997,0.0,0.0,0.07958191899405427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08194328285765669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06171619214067155,0.07511886795001367,0.0,0.08035643942600777,0.11440608853339107,0.0,0.0,0.046205373860649136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492578510334697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09464225873195918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878058158789485,0.0,0.13508186612352205,0.0,0.07245216201239679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15711102719310058,0.11070615960741244,0.0,0.03743177897600534,0.2061864682793727,0.12215324308598699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0633558152018623,0.0,0.06418023072374368,0.0,0.07352887864196518,0.0,0.08074960417568376,0.08490017691700069,0.0,0.07569732809076342,0.14373241141394966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368174814823757,0.0,0.0,0.1181233603076943,0.0,0.08081916322758599,0.0,0.0,0.1465246081288864,0.0,0.035002337078803,0.0,0.3795853521807051,0.06340394906385773,0.06016411500034825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13558527222016514,0.0,0.14527443721447958,0.07197746203758683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07600447687590142,0.0723414582748983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05312417690698847,0.05525737072945981,0.0,0.0761957252781638,0.0,0.0,0.06874572027388863,0.0,0.0,0.07630004236641262,0.04854879608394001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591075378418914,0.07758501652487627,0.0,0.04966991864447836,0.0,0.0,0.07864516501985452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166481608268689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116030327001135,0.06118480388783815,0.0681512084874934,0.0569753198333441,0.07172957188616683,0.0725089979130068,0.17127639000506506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05071100256262266,0.0,0.057216131199168976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675249678243937,0.0,0.3232106719885977,0.0,0.12524252361622512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04759803870813202,0.045907497226616314,0.0,0.0,0.0417770251146892,0.0,0.0,0.06846027657212272,0.0,0.2918552553314115,0.07792965195740896,0.0,0.07458541706444652,0.08618062818948345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042258329592791063,0.05686880577733312,0.0,0.0,0.06441784387334289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730128117809906,0.10178971262039116,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,cannicaterpi,2020/03/08,"yo what u think of meth addiction. is it bad or nah so like ive been on meth for a year on and off

id take a month or two breaks sometimes

but lately ive been addicted

me mates wants me to stop

i like to hurt myself and suicidal tbh? half n half

so wtf u think i should do",-2.7753124999999983,-1.1305554062499985,0.365375000000002,103.842125,103.0625,4.4350000000000005,12.65,6.2581,-1.05070125,210,4,58,3,10,73,46,64,0.313,0.602,0.085,-0.9608,0,0,2,0,0,2,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,7,2,0,0,0,10,11,7,1,2,3,0,0,2,1,1,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,7,2,7,8,0,8,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,2,6,33,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5407110540638963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20706881450347933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26548806954387444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27975368546333235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423195788367845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979504438089993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452773623018991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20733827709972674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712706651754423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864643917335759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3178155038150653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422589971969285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14627624158662808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15970323153403287
addiction,4BucksAndHalfACharge,2020/03/08,"The big challenge is on again Been coasting through giving up my DOC until now. Generally I'm ok, with occasional relapse which sets me back mentally and physically. It's been a good run recently. Normally everytime I would clear my house of all the things related to it, I'd immediately go on a bender/relapse. Rebuy all the neccessary devices, just to throw it away again.  This time I just let it sit hidden in my house and ignored that it was there. I was relatively fine. Thought I was strong enough after all long solid run, so I got rid of everything and no craving just kept in with my life. It felt like I'd turned a corner, but now a few days later I'm having the kind of craving that I've never beat before. I'm feeling the physical tension, mental agitation, absent mindedness, excitement I would feel before I used. I'm visualizing picking up cash and buying all the needed things again. A part of my brain is setting up the plan to use in case it can catch the other part of my brain off guard. Im keeping busy. I dont normally work out today, but dressed n ready about to head out. Going to take a quick shower after instead of my normal long bath today and back to busy. If it persists going to take to next level, a meeting tonight or if not possible some addiction reading and go to group meditation at 7am tomorrow. Just about as loud as the sneaky plan making, I'm hearing myself say that I will only recover if I dont do it, add more support. I can't put this part of my life behind me unless I abstain. Up the work. I cant say what'll happen next for sure, just getting in the car is a risk. I'm normally on a week by week, sometimes day by day commitment but right now I'm on minute to minute, hour to hour. Thanks for the ear and strength to all of us.",4.047416666666667,4.961612241666668,5.562666666666669,80.82900000000002,71.02777777777777,8.537777777777778,28.844444444444445,8.841846274778883,2.197457777777778,1397,52,281,25,25,474,198,360,0.039,0.84,0.121,0.9774,1,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,1,0,0,9,19,15,0,2,21,1,19,7,4,4,9,57,50,19,0,10,14,0,3,1,0,3,3,5,2,0,18,12,0,5,4,2,2,10,7,3,0,0,9,8,25,12,53,37,12,65,0,0,0,0,7,21,0,5,32,182,43,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09791906209431377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843905739628079,0.1381348987690082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15286353763257815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20054175511555627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17378296504380933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21054105137288248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09280996999316203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807260766388561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083324071295136,0.0,0.08624305084184382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046928203322072384,0.08616529208044453,0.20419128290836705,0.07533829651013584,0.07183872957672648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07942915508596354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09218311983424643,0.0,0.10123573996743432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769128352518484,0.207284683683802,0.0,0.0,0.09702299901352576,0.0,0.0,0.07983777706427415,0.0,0.09353562257205893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09184891541445474,0.12688764166648708,0.04388241318251862,0.0,0.0,0.15897900097125275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05995677463266653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18103857363910966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666017550703904,0.06927613914095503,0.0,0.1910530883620876,0.0,0.3520253227328383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06831355565607314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29180489384912683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10126062685505503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09029575658436276,0.0,0.0,0.08984614549907127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08868822926619423,0.0,0.0,0.0767073592444046,0.0,0.14285986221457506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08883609494963646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10192875781790173,0.08465601972620203,0.0,0.13506968807322256,0.0,0.0,0.08269588088539656,0.0,0.0,0.11934727652986725,0.0,0.0,0.0713085065198404,0.05237583631892567,0.0,0.17028120048696985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09770036722593146,0.0,0.0,0.108044612164773,0.15515445808322192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14409932164388015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13078273630569384,0.0,0.0,0.12761371381806566,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,666sage,2020/03/08,"I need help. Hey everyone. 

I wasn't quite sure where to post this, but I need to get all of this off my chest and could really use some advice/feedback on my situation.

A little background information about me, I am a 24 y/o guy currently in treatment for opioid addiction. I have also dabbled heavily in taking basically every drug you could think of. I started out maintenance treatment taking Suboxone about three years ago and ultimately switched to Methadone maintenance about a year and a half ago. I take 105mg of methadone daily. 
I received a call from my clinic and my grant (which pays for my treatment) is going to end the on May 31st. So obviously this is really stressing me out. I currently stay in a transitional housing environment and volunteer on a daily basis to keep a bed here. I can't go out and work a day job because I have to be here ""volunteering"" or I'd basically be to the point of sleeping outdoors.
What I am about to say may sound odd, I haven't told anyone about this aside from two of my close friends. I am addicted to Benadryl. For the past year I have augmented my methadone dose with 350mg + diphenhydramine daily. I do this because I believe I'm not at a dose which is properly maintaining me and my doctor at the clinic is very hesitant to go above 100mg in ANY of the patients.

More recently, the past couple months I have been regularly taking Xanax and Etizolam. I have started craving them pretty intensely. I do have panic disorder/generalized anxiety, I've dealt with it for as long as I can remember... and have been prescribed benzos in the past, and have definitely acquired an extreme liking for them. 

Today, I've probably taken upwards of 5,000mg + of gabapentin and I feel the urge to keep eating them. I am so sick of my situation and I just want out. I can't do this anymore.

Does anyone have any advice? Comments? I'm lost. Very lost.",4.033067765567766,5.974685695054947,5.448043956043957,77.61362271062272,72.54395604395604,8.919267399267401,30.265201465201464,9.473421319101043,3.0018252014652007,1499,66,275,37,30,503,189,364,0.087,0.8490000000000001,0.064,-0.8437,3,0,5,0,0,0,45.0,0,1,3,5,12,7,0,2,19,0,33,13,2,1,3,41,57,19,0,5,4,0,1,1,1,2,10,2,1,1,10,19,1,2,4,0,1,4,5,4,0,3,7,3,41,3,51,44,3,43,0,2,0,0,14,19,0,4,19,182,51,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169680113155416,0.0,0.09724308363654187,0.1764247795000075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07958061797241571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13534468827374627,0.0,0.07612727576740667,0.0,0.0986902897768013,0.13916379534098214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12132456669269193,0.0,0.0,0.1121172255762858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10161403689942483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15890628141248686,0.11010939092204597,0.0,0.06417773945069813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10185591023359934,0.08708461489907046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540364307632076,0.10182678041495627,0.0,0.0,0.08813910039828153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384410806266243,0.09508906487412414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050316831006440466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07688360111855723,0.0,0.05199150569678868,0.0,0.1696668234191435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985336489169099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06670155663134557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11482479670742606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09875143119261699,0.17690369318289295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04861709107654366,0.09973830414067884,0.0,0.08806599283099988,0.0,0.0,0.2172606840136896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07943043481258688,0.0,0.0,0.14757545710383746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11675722242320748,0.0,0.0,0.28498964203049826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09407207790442904,0.0,0.0953060751983069,0.101240633742374,0.10729199044139373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10584446820821274,0.0,0.0,0.1275013247062504,0.0,0.09825721529301906,0.0,0.1127289828389077,0.0,0.0,0.07913683898354197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22371386597718804,0.09958500202832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408718180514235,0.10606776108750213,0.0,0.0,0.11399195973080055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378995189002093,0.0,0.2992859713263067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06376399863637065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943268160557329,0.09508906487412414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720987290728406,0.0,0.0,0.08594739751651506,0.0,0.16421751619071492,0.0586954252206059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724467473537491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19224958849746354
addiction,ChokeOnAJoke,2020/03/08,"My Strange Addiction I have a strange addiction and i use the term addiction cause i enjoy doing it and it makes me feel amazing. I just enjoy the thrill of it. My addiction is flirting. I enjoy flirting to a far par extent. 

Anyone else have this or is there a proper term out there and yes i have considered the border line of Sex Addict",1.1322222222222216,3.7441892537313457,2.9879601990049776,86.89978441127697,89.29850746268656,5.96285240464345,22.369817578772803,7.3871296695380915,1.3092633499170812,268,10,50,5,9,89,40,67,0.049,0.65,0.301,0.9559,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,6,1,6,6,0,3,0,10,9,4,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,9,7,4,9,3,4,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,2,36,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.928673704324206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11913070184265286,0.17457011340890252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17502285093041073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14232709611261873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614710999521241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137271513973854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471499647247211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,throwaway2221127,2020/03/08,"Bf keeps bringing drugs inside the house even when I asked not to I have been in a long term relationship with an addict who is now actively using again. I have asked him more than once to keep his drugs outside the walls of our home even more so now that we have a baby. I get that he can't stop himself from getting high but I struggle with believing that the addiction makes him unable to keep his drugs in his vehicle or the garage. 

Is that a wrong assumption? 

We have been in conversations about him moving out as he cannot live under the same roof as the baby while he is actively using. He's been stalling of course. He had told me he'd be gone by end of Feb, and he's not and I found residue and paraphernalia in our home. I'm going to as him to find a place to sleep for the next couple of nights. 

He's broke and has nowhere to go long term and I have been struggling with putting him on the street essentially. He does have a stable job. Anyone have lived something similar? 

Looking for advice and insight from people dealing with addiction not for judgment.",4.389267912772585,5.452393658878506,4.751570093457946,86.40666978193147,70.35514018691589,7.949657320872274,26.88348909657321,8.238735603445708,1.542489470404984,849,27,176,12,15,268,122,214,0.081,0.878,0.042,-0.8811,1,0,4,0,0,0,13.0,4,0,0,0,8,4,0,2,14,0,20,7,1,3,0,29,38,14,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,6,0,2,0,5,13,0,4,3,0,0,6,5,4,0,0,8,1,22,0,33,28,5,30,0,1,1,0,30,11,0,1,13,115,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3639441797303553,0.0,0.1087443078020736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778115523980452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20806887523897427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253776580507429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12313235091432588,0.0,0.0,0.11472772636738893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973843672297014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3871583093069326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09856356981574466,0.0,0.0,0.14700253864715565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10171050390399927,0.0,0.0,0.12201589520521995,0.0,0.0,0.11628138654501248,0.0,0.12648921019858306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11757643517008776,0.2232515331609797,0.0,0.0,0.12840546154555188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11043105203905604,0.2967399162500716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19652958115279187,0.19696363120493945,0.09344956216185528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428216289471844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118276052474852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11835056770648418,0.10443141114873383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11851259761788227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07714951262749578,0.0,0.11626688725896678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11186999534906726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194761286564254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11136321173764517,0.0,0.0,0.08567097055954262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930374409999862,0.0,0.2326739825399643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10633552693507344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922252956365722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12167032109446978,0.0,0.0
addiction,Clongueve,2020/03/08,"Bf keeps bringing drugs in the house after I ask him not to I have been in a long term relationship with an addict who is now actively using again. I have asked him more than once to keep his drugs outside the walls of our home even more so now that we have a baby. I get that he can't stop himself from getting high but I struggle with believing that the addiction makes him unable to keep his drugs in his vehicle or the garage. 

Is that a wrong assumption? 

We have been in conversations about him moving out as he cannot live under the same roof as the baby while he is actively using. He's been stalling naturally. He had told me he'd be gone by end of Feb, and he's not and I found residue and paraphernalia in our home. I'm going to as him to find a place to sleep for the next couple of nights. 

He's broke and has nowhere to go long term and I have been struggling with putting him on the street essentially. Anyone have or lived something similar? 

Looking for advice and insight from people dealing with addiction not for judgment.",4.7027060439560415,5.557537374999999,5.1812087912087925,84.37807692307693,69.48076923076923,8.442857142857143,28.31868131868132,8.634040054169528,1.8918546703296708,826,28,170,13,14,264,119,208,0.083,0.887,0.028999999999999998,-0.9188,0,0,4,0,0,0,12.0,4,0,0,0,6,4,0,2,13,0,19,7,1,3,0,30,37,14,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,0,6,0,2,0,5,13,0,4,3,0,0,6,5,4,0,0,8,1,23,0,34,27,5,31,0,1,1,0,30,12,0,2,13,114,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3710406745228232,0.0,0.11086469729312054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932878857639454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21212598006945133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278223788266271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12553329077190306,0.0,0.0,0.11696478566950792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3947074530462086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10048544657289654,0.0,0.0,0.07493445991720403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10369374227266556,0.0,0.0,0.12439506545479967,0.0,0.0,0.11854874044167048,0.0,0.12895560496863456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11986904103211768,0.2276046824369516,0.0,0.0,0.13090922102278155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30252600485285186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20036168296095924,0.20080419649214093,0.09527172162524153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07573058001886693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12058230007327032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065826826660014,0.10646770409326214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12082345757574794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865383978834803,0.0,0.11853395843614845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11405133216840108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12180577636630975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135346668568182,0.0,0.0,0.0873414563930897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485156457259042,0.0,0.2372108587902205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840894795724276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19597346880553512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240427530445686,0.0,0.0
addiction,bkeani,2020/03/08,"How to get better. Hi! I’m a 16F who needs some good advice.
My life story in a reddit post... 
(My apologies bc it’s so long!!)

Divorced parents at 2 y/o, never got to see my dad, private school ➡️ public school, never played sports, no extracurricular activities, had a hard time transitioning into different schooling.

Made friends with A LOT of people. Yet, I still felt like I wasn’t meant to be friends with anyone. Everyone in my city is just lame and toxic. But I did because I’m “social”. 

Got into drugs at 13... turned out so bad. 
Addicted to nicotine!! 
Started going to high school, got diagnosed with mental illnesses, and my life spiraled down :/ was forced to stop taking my meds by mom, tried acid and had a BAD TRIP, stopped going to school completely, truants daily, stopped talking to all of my friends and household, never left my room, used adderall to be skinny, had a sleeping disorder resulted from adderall, continued my problems with narcotics and alcohol frequently, if accessible. 
Moving on, I realized I had a huge support system who just wanted me to get better. A part of me DOES want to change so much. 

So, after failing my whole freshman year, I decided to retake all my classes online over the summer. I ended with straight A’s, it was fairly easy. 
At this point, my drug use was pretty much non existent. Except nicotine of course. Other than that maybe here and there, with friends, but I’m not the one to party and drink with other people from my school...
I got back into school, slowly started talking to people, but I didn’t stick around with a certain person for too long. 
I have trust issues, especially with people who don’t have the best intentions. 
Everything was all good, until I started slipping.

I started spending all my money on any type of high (up to $100 daily) or searched around for anything that I could use (Prescription Pills) Yes that sounds just as bad as you think. 
To me using stuff keeps me grounded. I feel like I don’t have to be anxious about everything surrounding my life. Many people around me are just disappointed in me. It’s hard to take the action to quit.

Right now, I’m on adderall and wax (thc).
I’ve been using addy daily for 2 weeks. Missed a lot of school.. Fucked up my sleep schedule again! Backed up on school work with all C’s (which isn’t too bad and can easily turn around~according to my school counselor)

I feel like I’m slipping to the same person as last year. 
My life is pretty boring but I’m always doing something dumb. Now my memory is so messed up, I can’t have proper conversations with people, can’t concentrate, and I have a constant need of any high. 
I guess these are the consequences everyone is talking about.
Because of this, I’ve been wanting to try independent study for the last semester of this year. I told my counselor I’m trying to stay away from getting drugs at school. She said I could only do that if I show proof of getting into addiction treatment..Which I think is a good thing. 
Then she told me I have to consistently go and fix my attendance and then they’ll think about it... Such a long process.

I’ve discussed with my mom about rehab but I always told her I didn’t want to. And she thinks I’ll relapsed and I agree. I feel bad because she just has to watch me destroy my body. 

I don’t think I’m looking forward to anything in life. 
I want to find something I’m interested in, do good in school, and actually live a good life. 
I guess the treatment is a good start.. How do I find REAL friends that are supportive, and won’t mock my addictions...

what do you think is a good next step?",3.661891851778556,5.560224671449066,4.485820264186415,84.30550573888094,73.44763271162124,7.159837728194728,26.79485974372929,7.932213699143146,1.6651292435561282,2824,103,538,41,58,909,317,697,0.11199999999999999,0.748,0.141,0.9452,2,0,7,0,1,0,117.0,0,2,1,6,31,40,4,0,25,1,50,23,4,11,10,108,116,37,0,12,15,4,6,3,5,2,17,2,1,2,22,36,3,4,15,4,2,9,15,16,0,1,25,12,72,24,98,84,14,91,0,4,3,1,36,41,2,8,43,336,94,16,0.0,0.0,0.04192466793273717,0.14050460769836864,0.0,0.04198192238843111,0.0,0.0459132612520219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149557154765142,0.0,0.0,0.05843120133902902,0.0,0.0,0.048534777261783284,0.0,0.030039995837242192,0.0,0.07070805199792653,0.1529809833973041,0.0,0.0,0.040364168237449684,0.06607017859402894,0.17935717749009036,0.07856762176125533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04508591820782266,0.07599271076775098,0.0,0.0477210437261778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04544804879109195,0.0,0.04504478941217042,0.046426607728299714,0.0,0.06860324584345373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04360547705951697,0.0,0.04488609597970458,0.04923811917816502,0.0,0.03759629381544364,0.0,0.0,0.04208635729132178,0.14946667482534584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038051537795088165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210397268878572,0.07722286472506004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06516856156185469,0.06138405435704799,0.04125021136869258,0.0,0.07853289183205403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16596148817978534,0.0397176324549974,0.0897833871734624,0.0,0.07324880234461713,0.25224112985399666,0.13744239103659053,0.0,0.09465486766633788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07697094102374627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13617498356796484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044841116147396866,0.0,0.03818655702645892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07003945006585675,0.0,0.0,0.046678286683039125,0.0,0.1820717839081125,0.06296711914099865,0.0,0.03793619082115328,0.1140599270764542,0.03607721953642402,0.0,0.0,0.07304943071646007,0.0,0.04065163787221334,0.0,0.04355667630436258,0.043161055383090334,0.0,0.0477210437261778,0.0,0.0432955429776876,0.0,0.0,0.10063303816546593,0.0,0.0456617560566656,0.06316395614710618,0.06371148625569101,0.09940471798516874,0.0,0.04569052347203075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029112130620374762,0.03267450052674545,0.0,0.0,0.047704163624683785,0.04652360753397345,0.0,0.1787064491133422,0.07502543894237329,0.0,0.0,0.04061293128324977,0.0,0.04114567435022967,0.08741550081266164,0.0,0.04110878604019205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045695324370525814,0.0,0.04890010708053027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03668927237011315,0.040866654653885816,0.0,0.0,0.5217574700916351,0.034235113536716176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859859574554594,0.04379429985983735,0.0,0.06614841934565523,0.0,0.0,0.15204345417142007,0.045791724689989696,0.0343094704590155,0.10775434704284853,0.0,0.0,0.049181156620076605,0.0,0.09750542828655877,0.0,0.0,0.0646040826262204,0.10359356923199828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028542011994467924,0.16516970514428678,0.0,0.0,0.0250514597718693,0.0,0.0,0.1231559590331786,0.0,0.08750503617803962,0.09346053414226356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855266635472095,0.0,0.0,0.1267003623300087,0.0,0.034461486565426976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04796548528189416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031276812817528324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299826580648889
addiction,GoesAroundComes,2020/03/08,One week today Just wanted to share that I'm one week off coke today. It's the longest period off coke in two years. I've moved to a different place to live and that helped a lot. One day at a time. Me stronger than coke yay,0.29142857142857537,2.1795536530612267,1.9585306122449,98.47575510204081,83.89795918367345,5.552653061224492,15.922448979591836,6.742157984588678,-0.5221542857142856,175,3,43,2,5,57,36,49,0.0,0.83,0.17,0.802,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,1,0,3,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,8,2,1,14,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,8,23,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15185008071222125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24600211775120426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15782165038520132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20791256351715626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20017685058747808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502531896571626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4786546231220489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24600211775120426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372966844660636,0.0,0.4463708056402749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23000696461637804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388784512117963,0.0,0.37773829471749504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15162638312545298
addiction,shobsessedanon,2020/03/08,"Am I an 'addict'? Am I just crazy? [CW: mentions of cutting, self-destructive behaviour]

This post might be a mess and may not even belong here. I don't know. I don't. 

Context first, because I dont know anyone who's like me and feel this situation needs an Explanation. It's super long, sorry,,, **tl;dr at the end**.

I've had a history of self-destructive behaviour since I was born, but for most of my young childhood I didnt dwell on it, and it may not be relevant here. I'll discuss it if asked, but for now I'll skip it.

As a teenager, I started cutting. I was told it gave people 'relief' or an 'outlet', and it Did Not do that for me. But, even without it being a coping thing, I seemed to have this *drive*, somehow, something that made me want to keep going, made me want to keep doing it. I didnt think about other people, or other things with my cutting, it was only me and this Drive. 

People fretting over me and my annoyance at being confronted/pitied caused me to do it very little or go long periods without, but my desire was always there. I didnt think too deep about it, because to me, it was Natural. It just felt Right. It wasnt for attention (god, please, no), and it wasnt for 'coping' or whatever. The only relief cutting gave me was...... relieving my desire to cut. 

Then, about a year ago, a friend found out about it, and he compared my cutting to a ""toxic relationship"", personified my cutting as an abusive lover I couldn't let go of.

And somehow, something shifted in me after that. My cutting/urges became sort of personified in my mind, an entity. I began to see my relationship with cutting/self-harm almost as an intense, passionate romance, feeling that in a way, I was ""in love"" with it. And slowly, other self-destructive behaviour I had engaged in on and off (disordered eating, reckless sex, ect) went from being urges that I didn't really think about, into almost a..... calling. I fantasize heavily about engaging in these things, about 'giving in' and letting them consume me, and just the thought leaves me feeling almost euphoric.

I watched some videos by a recovering addict a while back, and he stated that he felt that there was a 'devil' inside him, that drugs had awoken some part of him that fed on his urges and was incredibly, painfully alluring. That he was horrified by it, and that he couldnt resist ""loving"" it. This resonated with me, a lot. Even as I feel far more enamoured than 'horrified', I recognize how bizarre and disturbing my euphoric self-destruction is to other people, and I....... hestiate, sometimes.

So with the explanation out of the way......

1. I think people would say I'm 'addicted' to cutting/self-harm. But I don't think I can be?? Addiction is when someone uses behaviours/substances in order to cope with life issues/trauma/ect, and then become reliant on it and can't stop. But I don't do these things to cope with negative emotions.....

2. More importantly to the ""I can't be addicted"" thing, is that I can stop however long I want, whenever. I can go months, years, without cutting/ect, with little struggle, just to avoid conflict in my life. People who are actually addicted can't just Stop, and they struggle immensely, and there will be times where they cant resist. I can, and i could indefinitely. So clearly I can't be addicted.

3. I know how much I SOUND like an addict in some ways, and how much I relate to certain things about addiction. But, considering 1 and 2, I worry that I'm an awful person for think I relate......... it feels like I'm being disrespectful. Am I? I know how much addicts struggle, I don't want to be disrespectful about that.......

4. And last, I guess I just want thoughts. I dont know what I would even do if I were 'addicted'. Or what it even means for me either way. I dont know what Im supposed to think of my situation. I know what I FEEL, but sometimes I...... pause for a moment, and have a feeling of ""what's happening to me?? something is wrong here, right....?"", and it eats at me a little. 

I don't know. I dont think I've ever heard of anyone like me. Any thoughts? Im sorry for how long this was,,

**TL;DR - I'm utterly 'infatuated' with cutting and self-destructive behaviour. I don't 'depend' on it for coping or anything, I can (and do) stop for long periods of time with minimal effort. But, I relate heavily to a lot of addicts' experiences/feelings/thought patterns/ect, and many would say I sound like an addict. Am I possibly an 'addict'......? Or am I just some crazy weirdo? Thoughts??**",2.7881944444444438,4.951815504629631,4.478250000000003,82.19175000000003,76.82407407407408,7.514444444444448,26.540740740740727,8.43457762929974,2.034868796296297,3452,136,656,69,80,1161,306,864,0.107,0.765,0.128,0.9609,1,1,4,0,0,0,244.0,0,0,3,3,42,37,9,6,33,1,84,26,0,10,3,163,150,64,0,16,32,0,9,5,2,7,18,5,0,1,64,44,3,8,33,1,0,7,32,19,0,1,38,16,94,18,96,89,14,79,1,0,2,5,31,31,0,29,39,476,158,0,0.0,0.046573867262695,0.038359197155785466,0.5999253660798637,0.0,0.0,0.03484440592527624,0.0,0.11808465045750365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03270762608259583,0.0,0.0,0.02673096869615296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05497050684949891,0.0,0.03234735348937698,0.0,0.0367479223167989,0.0,0.0,0.03022563006190575,0.0,0.047923907996702084,0.04341289130569849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04013813433083424,0.0,0.0,0.04038041695832724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03138445171537048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045050678139312385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842759791581127,0.0,0.04558510880391203,0.08044433850841351,0.0,0.04421650830069273,0.03481545620598343,0.0,0.0,0.12981369424844244,0.035556576875786484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13912808196235316,0.02808183295668773,0.07548419909482132,0.0,0.0,0.033435590826708605,0.0,0.04309948456506303,0.030369468664937917,0.0,0.0,0.037708070383498105,0.08935917330167026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043302486454909236,0.0,0.03476016964797188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849193448379296,0.0,0.0,0.06987798553484922,0.0,0.0,0.17282235916210026,0.032041483048469134,0.0,0.04162177783891649,0.0,0.08039073003693242,0.055529181265804375,0.09602016571471132,0.1181916270138116,0.0,0.1739328914629986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683696384825817,0.07095448920123522,0.07438886310787861,0.0,0.03985241186621584,0.0,0.04281822509206988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04169985820234592,0.039690142952232575,0.0,0.03137548275559388,0.0,0.0866882947364127,0.02914658103304635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05979141491033941,0.04182676627235395,0.0,0.0,0.04256702132160598,0.0,0.1635084128882565,0.034322461524407225,0.0,0.043148671820775995,0.0,0.04431416353771217,0.03764645284824705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025181881630606497,0.0,0.0,0.08440473356787366,0.0,0.06713808846884281,0.0,0.06251902139825306,0.0,0.0,0.03132359860100764,0.035784768888224634,0.28704965845875885,0.0,0.0,0.03251620368754492,0.08836827546916848,0.0,0.0,0.033305766069992214,0.09078427037136584,0.07775376001345367,0.08800477074298116,0.027822592866640072,0.0,0.0,0.13145388133595634,0.0,0.12328060252690652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15668799100450384,0.201497196319125,0.0,0.15603186142988373,0.04584193181785444,0.0,0.0,0.037560732510693216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033949720847307636,0.0,0.032433435996952184,0.11592516811638705,0.12480428703817276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036439156228733525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11367529659813097,0.0,0.0,0.039919452009858455,0.0,0.0837703926899933,0.04297741796032016,0.0,0.05062646883321476
addiction,Pixie1409,2020/03/08,It’s a rough night (adderall) So short story I was on prescribed adderall from first grade until senior year of high school when I stopped cold turkey. I had some issues with adderall affecting my self-image and some unhealthy dependency. I was and am lucky enough to have come up with coping skills to function and be fairly successful in schooling and life. But every once in a while I get a craving for it to make my life easier. And tonight I was watching a show where a character takes an adderall that looked exactly like mine and my mouth started watering and all I wanted was one pill so I could do my homework without struggling. I’m a little freaked by how strong the craving was and I just really want some encouragement. No one really knows about this struggle. Hope this post is okay.,4.916,6.919577866666668,4.939666666666671,81.91150000000002,70.33333333333334,7.666666666666668,29.83333333333333,8.344100000000001,2.2897333333333334,640,26,113,10,12,199,106,150,0.077,0.75,0.17300000000000001,0.932,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,4,7,10,0,2,8,1,12,5,1,4,2,30,23,15,0,4,3,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,5,11,1,1,1,1,0,1,2,3,0,3,6,4,14,7,16,15,5,20,0,0,2,0,1,8,0,6,11,80,19,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15108918006727626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14004041331499256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18123222181167845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14777972831223138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491927914264018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916378116954028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18531679998092307,0.0,0.17420902210693473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830691350411157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639372875868844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477764966560796,0.08569022530781857,0.17579409965476092,0.0,0.0,0.14728949550478573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170790108017578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16459841552075696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867923220856426,0.23770740025102505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16798205890370646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247279094490132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3550227148559408,0.0,0.0,0.1829775601583036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414705982041545,0.0,0.0,0.14663993528626476,0.0,0.3667265283281267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13187688602164202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20690765738218286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690766674708787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11295006336863594
addiction,dudeindepth,2020/03/08,Do any of you have a YouTube addiction? I have youtube playing videos on a loop constantly. It’s getting to the point where I can’t even walk from my car to my house without some YouTube video playing. I think it relieves my loneliness. Do any of you have this weird addiction?,3.2461111111111123,5.523467685185183,3.2627407407407425,90.90633333333336,75.85185185185185,7.282962962962964,33.022222222222226,8.238735603445708,2.5213155555555566,221,12,45,4,5,67,37,54,0.08800000000000001,0.79,0.122,0.1986,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,0,6,2,0,0,0,3,8,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,8,3,7,8,1,6,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,1,30,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6282118587970414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3918786814849967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3113678549380579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19030817745148665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15053684751682564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3324651340913935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723774558420736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846230689252628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27774854111879205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,geeman95,2020/03/08,"I cant do this anymore For the millionth time I sit here having relapsed. I know how this goes: ill lay awake all night restless with regret and self hate. Realizing all the relationships Ive destroyed and all the ones I can't have because of the way I am. Tomorrow Ill wake up feeling even worse; severely hungover and wired, steeped in paranoia, anxiety, and an indescribably intense sense of depression. I'll regret every self destructive and impulsive decision I made the night before when I was high and intoxicated, wondering who that person was, because it wasnt me.

Then, Ill tell myself that in a couple days the comedown will be gone and I'll be semi-functional again, and it'll be okay. I just have to make it there. And then I'll never do this stuff again, and I'll get better. But at that point I'll also be intensely craving another fix and it'll be all I can think about, and I'll have totally forgotten about the way I'm feeling right now. 

The only thing I'll know at that point is how horrible the withdrawal is: the feeling of total emptiness, the inability to feel any pleasure whatsoever. The shaking, the paranoia, the aches, the weakness. The constant fear of living life without my drug. The lack of motivation to even have a conversation with another human being. The only thing I'll want to do is sleep, and escape life.

The worst thing about addiction, is that most of the time (except for rare ones like this), I cant even be sad about what Ive done. I dont regret it, I dont cry over it, I dont apologize for it. I wont desire a better life, or friends, or any sort of relationships. Because I can't. Even though I wish I had those desires and feelings, very soon my brain will tell me I dont need those things, and theres only one thing I need. And then I'll be that other person again.

I dont know how I got to this hell. But I cant do this anymore. I dont even know why Im posting this, I just had to get this off my brain I guess.",3.9772706009355896,4.9801685541561715,5.217224721122708,82.91125629722926,71.26700251889169,8.391831594098596,28.28436487945304,8.738905477910976,2.030115581144297,1544,56,317,27,28,514,180,397,0.20800000000000002,0.708,0.083,-0.9944,0,0,1,0,0,0,52.0,0,0,0,3,25,20,4,3,24,1,47,14,4,6,7,65,71,29,0,10,8,0,5,1,1,5,10,0,0,5,32,18,0,0,14,0,0,2,15,14,0,3,9,5,33,6,31,49,9,34,1,5,0,0,13,11,1,6,18,220,65,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097123145568902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05939807069402464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010197403208312,0.1557686239207245,0.05682053523815666,0.0,0.1473226259943876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13583292087212095,0.0,0.06320295876027232,0.0,0.0,0.13138124378946414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658319894276722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026540186085906,0.0,0.0,0.08218440058269814,0.08158812181547558,0.047901536856582216,0.0,0.0639733579653063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760095990385939,0.5223018226589333,0.0,0.08613597034608712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452912543523483,0.0,0.06258029134317222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358055942757432,0.18777955998380125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057385047902419876,0.0,0.07761174038475224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05940488272280504,0.0,0.08182280983986175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07333165447516317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847611757065781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023025896717091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16327943482554522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573888941922416,0.036287245390621774,0.0,0.06558660540416822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07028125055379357,0.049579456464178565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11014864746080644,0.057285825423204574,0.0,0.0,0.13940500386020716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15099295280920438,0.16946953764511824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970896003728938,0.0,0.0,0.1404286640658629,0.0,0.07113537361774798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15948812711943833,0.0,0.06343084999885898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15497103905585816,0.08391014531888116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432911607438199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502764886881968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12984007832308214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467266266857754,0.04759272540519408,0.0729752772810347,0.0,0.08662125381021778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06128504580898221,0.04380959969270209,0.11791282997291032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702206356992756,0.0,0.08541313089016761,0.07159890758023871,0.08054858449045127,0.0,0.0,0.07569305477492108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ehhrAwr,2020/03/08,"1 year clean & sober today. I've accomplished a whole year clean from drugs and sober from alcohol.

Very hopeful for more years to come.",1.9280769230769224,4.749747576923081,1.468076923076925,96.11442307692309,92.46153846153842,5.676923076923077,18.03846153846154,7.1686216300943375,0.4298769230769235,111,3,22,2,4,32,22,26,0.0,0.615,0.385,0.8977,0,0,2,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,8,0,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30918314574824474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3134659872188883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492139325649914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3355063834634147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2873489383438242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742309347855525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387100766050099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3230029673865541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5589161870432181
addiction,Put-the-shovel-down,2020/03/08,"Addiction Books, You Absolutely MUST READ! These are some really good books on addiction.  What books would you recommend?",6.2782456140350895,10.164638578947374,5.51157894736842,66.82771929824563,84.26315789473685,13.059649122807016,27.385964912280702,10.504223727775694,5.597091228070173,99,4,14,5,3,30,15,19,0.0,0.74,0.26,0.7171,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,9,4,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8029715653123105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089005786148136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3683853712731605,0.0,0.23593325499462114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616196002804646,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,SauloIvanRegis,2020/03/08,"Dark Secrets of Caffeine Revealed - Ebook Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbECCuLAeIE

Release video of the ebook

Dark Secrets of Caffeine (on Amazon)

with new scientific discoveries about the harmful effects of Caffeine in the body and mind.

Cheers.",16.252857142857145,18.627579000000004,10.452142857142855,51.29535714285717,44.71428571428571,10.428571428571429,51.78571428571429,10.125756701596842,6.100999999999999,215,12,22,3,2,57,24,35,0.0,0.9159999999999999,0.084,0.4767,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,7,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,12,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6222923322783832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5656754116933165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5410763179008367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,zolanih,2020/03/09,"Horrible Withdrawal Phase: Seizures. Are they deadly? I won’t bore you with a lot of details as I have posted here many times. To keep it short; I used for 3years, wasted a lot of money and lost my job. Quit for a year, Recovered, got a new job and made lots of money. Got bored and Relapsed but fortunately this time I could manage it and didn’t lose anything. 
Decided to stop because... ITS JUST NOT FUN ANYMORE. 

Problem is, I’m having seizures again like the last time when I stopped but this time it feels like I’m gonna die, worse. I’m scared that I might actually die, doctors were not helpful so I would love to hear from someone who has gone through the pain? Can someone actually die from Methcathinone/Cocaine withdrawals?",3.2673322422258586,5.532808673758867,3.6201418439716337,88.42615384615387,75.73758865248226,6.60796508456083,27.86743044189853,7.61054688173877,1.6001790507364977,577,24,114,8,13,179,99,141,0.313,0.59,0.096,-0.9895,2,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,1,3,5,11,0,1,6,0,12,3,0,2,0,24,26,9,4,3,5,0,1,2,0,4,2,1,0,0,8,5,0,3,2,0,2,1,4,7,0,0,7,2,10,4,13,14,3,14,0,2,0,1,6,1,0,4,13,65,18,4,0.0,0.0,0.2493447131158875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12670056764399512,0.0,0.0,0.10513308637704924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07787945249675016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020035309587834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3977746396753216,0.0,0.0,0.1307646544931558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645977538923142,0.0912695924515394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20435781159890784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439913706522682,0.0,0.08563279231465121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535581244326756,0.11355624953216215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10413896784754688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12483118755713395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429273509762569,0.1394618054801162,0.3258431773597615,0.1153056376695957,0.12088671756685528,0.0,0.1295254976714111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13552993742556632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12338846090753827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13594240508201566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12235584528991082,0.0,0.0,0.12224614966753385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358852449849601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12790699691503604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21649610267128694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136210658722062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29798442577876044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034098772528196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13019524926274215,0.09075487358812492,0.0,0.0,0.08227128878650453
addiction,shabba_rese,2020/03/09,"Am I doing the right thing? 
My life has not been the easiest. But I must explain... I (29F) met My love when we were just 14 years old... I lost my virginity to him and was head over heels.. shortly after this I found out he was addicted to pain pills when I saw him withdrawal for the first time. I think I knew then that this was something I was way too young for but I was already so in love I stayed... I stayed for 15 years. And through these years I’ve helped him recover from pills, then meth and then alcohol... My own father was also an addict and after he was murdered I think it sobered him up and kind of opened his eyes.. My Love is now going to be 30. We have two kids and a beautiful home and what looks like a normal life... but something in my gut told me it wasn’t as good as I thought.. I recently found Out My Love has relapsed and been shooting heroine and smoking meth again. But after all these years, all the pain and lies, after seeing the path my own father went down, My heart just isn’t in it anymore. I do not want to stay or help. My duty is to my children and I want a better life for us than this. After 15 years of my loyalty and love I feel so betrayed. I feel resentful and angry that he would do this to me. Especially after everything I went through with my own father.. I found him a place to go. I even told him I would pay half just to get him on his feet. But I feel awful. I’m terrified that once he goes he will spiral and end up dead. But I’m so tired. He’s not the person I fell in love with. I just want him to go. Am I a bad person? Am I doing the wrong thing? Has anyone gone through this kind of thing before? Please tell me I’m doing the right thing.",1.0388646914830773,2.7386566072423406,2.654955684983541,95.40417236431166,80.42061281337047,5.799983118088968,19.513885371824085,6.714681859716394,-0.03174911792014834,1298,31,307,13,33,426,166,359,0.168,0.677,0.155,-0.3446,0,0,5,1,0,0,51.0,3,0,0,3,14,18,2,0,14,1,31,24,6,0,3,56,68,32,2,7,14,3,3,1,0,4,11,0,1,4,18,21,1,1,11,0,1,7,5,7,0,3,24,7,57,11,42,39,5,51,0,1,4,7,39,16,0,1,25,211,75,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18074034936263805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08859188693174289,0.0,0.0,0.09147911204908417,0.06629285399086271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822117387019685,0.05796364366353503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06921569217825445,0.0,0.0,0.07053940419156997,0.0,0.0,0.07331582920040079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07342230636628842,0.0,0.0,0.05475281307967342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07450265036407669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257459322199185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07051230863361647,0.0,0.27267747473215603,0.0,0.0,0.043310361036867084,0.0,0.1413371526709864,0.06953023109286245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08507643418873778,0.0,0.0,0.09823357091113064,0.1111284799587194,0.0,0.08315264197071844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17264933650245318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756582134833419,0.04049938040585372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961276256196662,0.0,0.09049207690412003,0.0,0.448907710418104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08122164680502411,0.0,0.0,0.08698665753716353,0.08828280334033553,0.0,0.0,0.1764169126143533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14476526002592366,0.08660992121674282,0.0909962225679232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08185097568891304,0.0,0.0,0.14158749697955053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06605832878853876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276366158181746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650721285432376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245579910140214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202928418034778,0.1062343459795622,0.0,0.06581111024383647,0.048338018931008,0.09527812681350074,0.0,0.15842363767552006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097851053816442,0.0,0.0997151143594635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466847337914601,0.06579993196504548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15369305382793255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11777557262918426,0.0906350653469922,0.0,0.2669153667643754
addiction,bigstottie1983,2020/03/09,"Introducing alcohol after cocaine addiction So I'm coming up to 6 months clean and sober after doing my 12 step programme and im really considering introducing alcohol in the future,I just can't imagine not having a drink again,my circumstances have completely changed no longer weighted down with the things of the past that made me unhappy, I'd like to hear from people who have managed to introduce alcohol back into their lives after addiction to drugs.maybe it's my addiction trying to trick me I don't know but total abstinence just seems unnecessary",7.473057142857144,9.292998020000002,8.035428571428572,62.89700000000002,63.8,12.114285714285714,36.285714285714285,11.765960540728905,5.2720714285714285,462,22,67,16,7,153,76,100,0.051,0.91,0.039,-0.0359,0,0,6,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,0,4,2,1,0,4,0,6,8,0,1,1,14,12,4,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,6,1,1,0,4,5,5,0,3,1,0,2,4,1,0,0,1,2,6,1,15,11,1,12,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,7,45,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5391045260676878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5284961259198745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12675289765089687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17438039367948255,0.14199631049002887,0.1728331208895215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16148186221879215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18578829102648128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17805704964260127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09059254826861604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053320451769982,0.0,0.14555801769402515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559769628055358,0.0,0.0,0.16560538965977484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13157487027803988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15735981331430335,0.1142803038427879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10560165192401004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15006546229343173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951333270385373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11191652200372564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20073247384331094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,drkjfoster,2020/03/09,"FREE LIVE RECOVERY TRAINING WEBINAR Free Recovery Training Webinar, Thursday, March 12th from 7:00 - 8:00 pm est for individuals and their family members who are struggling with substance abuse, any addictions or codependency issues.  


This webinar is totally FREE and will cover the following:

 \#1 How You and Your Family absolutely CAN RECOVER, even if your loved one is REFUSING to CHANGE,  


\#2 The three Critical Elements YOU and YOUR FAMILY NEED in Order to RECOVER and the ONE THING that actually makes it WORSE, and  


\#3 The ONE THING You Can START NOW that will Begin to IMPROVE Your LIFE!  


\#4 How to Gain Specific Knowledge, Skills and Tools to Help You to Quickly Gain More Strength and Resilience to RECOVER!  


\#5 How YOU and YOUR FAMILY Can Become Better Than You Ever Were Before! 

 [https://drkjfoster.org/rwmc-webinar-registration](https://drkjfoster.org/rwmc-webinar-registration)",10.757737226277369,13.670563788321168,9.563218978102187,50.90030291970804,57.1021897810219,12.487299270072992,36.327737226277364,11.979248473330829,5.472720291970804,737,31,95,24,10,230,89,137,0.095,0.7,0.205,0.9643,0,0,0,0,1,0,43.0,0,11,1,5,7,7,0,1,4,0,9,3,0,4,2,21,15,14,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,7,10,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,1,0,4,1,0,12,9,12,12,2,10,0,0,0,1,16,1,0,2,7,68,19,0,0.0,0.19615970835996216,0.16156117946057286,0.1804831638802956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11258543324394801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828463170033903,0.14087805951046006,0.0,0.0,0.14642300806939815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17513890339336294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10934980452138762,0.14975710973049347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6242951448073755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097034907194754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17280002371694386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693883976961975,0.0,0.0,0.1461911575099441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14942297823411407,0.0,0.1105115607759676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12275950379821518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33656010112118245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171831334459442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17307765391063976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199793748826955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687182195940584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Yann1ckYT,2020/03/09,"11 weeks clean!! To all the people that are addicted, no matter how much u use u can stop and everything will get better

I am 16 and i smoked 10 joints daily, skipped school, quit work and pushed everyone away. I never thought i could live without weed but its possible. 

Too everyone who wants to quit, u can do it. And if u need anything u can always msg me im here!!",1.7623428571428583,3.702752320000002,3.2205714285714286,91.056,79.13333333333333,6.9523809523809526,22.714285714285715,7.957251820313856,1.0596285714285707,284,9,62,5,7,93,59,75,0.046,0.867,0.087,0.4249,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,4,4,1,0,0,1,0,8,1,0,2,2,17,13,7,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,4,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,5,1,4,10,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,35,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21780517965763568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16624478791924735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16441361127862122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18771323713942875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17670174266070982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595194193001958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3818238593386903,0.1795621531632619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10438422853488076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21581203168295812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764219478495489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14687173298303746,0.14814487514849894,0.15409361169176564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385121487925465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252379521687721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42501147102886944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20220240704665074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16703690577139232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15861428552810294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17255804893714188,0.0,0.0,0.11784380156080315,0.0,0.16026286387914315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925944887887545,0.0,0.14545256443399388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,digigo2020,2020/03/09,"Trazodone: Side Effects And Withdrawal Symptoms  Trazodone is a medication pill that is directed by a physician or mental health specialist, and its major effects are thought to be on the neurotransmitter serotonin. Learn more about side effects and withdrawal symptoms of trazodone. # Trazodone Side Effects # Is Trazodone Used For Pain # How Long Do Trazodone Withdrawal Symptoms Last 

Know More: [https://www.addictionaide.com/blog/trazodone-side-effects-and-withdrawal-symptoms](https://www.addictionaide.com/blog/trazodone-side-effects-and-withdrawal-symptoms)",20.2169262295082,27.550486983606557,10.596864754098359,32.6693954918033,48.016393442622956,8.295901639344264,46.96926229508197,8.841846274778883,6.1107196721311485,490,24,36,8,8,120,41,61,0.054000000000000006,0.893,0.054000000000000006,-0.4588,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,0,3,0,6,8,0,6,0,13,9,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,7,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,7,3,6,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,2,24,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138628011815763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105725053033053,0.1640022539435198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17805284600400698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20268461960746656,0.20275906299586224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140875918089748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8364820919971071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15972779364047882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737694454182818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,thatpersonuuuu,2020/03/09,"Do addicts really change? I am at a loss. I don’t really know where else to go. My boyfriend has been addicted to Oxy cotin for around 7 years. We have been together for 3. 

When we first got together he was still on them. He confided in me and we worked together to get him to treatment. The treatment didn’t work the way I wanted it to. Instead of doing oxy he was now on methadone to wean him off. 

It’s been around a year and a half and I noticed him acting strange a few months ago. So I bided my time and caught him in the bathroom snorting oxy. 

I made him move back to his moms so I could focus on school and let him have a better opportunity to get sober. It’s been months since then. He tells me he’s sober but I still notice odd behaviour that’s making me really anxious. 

He seems twitchy, he sings to himself a lot and makes really random noises. He gets OCD and cleans things a lot during these times. 

I’ve never been addicted to anything. I don’t know what it’s like. I try my hardest to sympathize with him but I don’t even know. He’s a great boyfriend besides this stuff. I really don’t know what to do.",0.7183228788378991,2.9533612103004323,2.4397639484978555,93.5321715087488,84.9656652360515,5.9880488610102365,20.120336744800266,7.321109707123232,0.4966310333443382,874,26,195,14,26,287,125,233,0.042,0.898,0.06,0.7013,0,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,3,0,1,6,12,5,0,0,11,0,21,3,0,3,1,29,36,13,0,2,2,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,11,13,0,0,5,1,0,4,6,1,0,2,11,1,31,4,25,23,3,30,0,1,0,0,24,10,0,4,16,125,42,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3822942776755737,0.0,0.0,0.1036192435835456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320566486707022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09619358435000312,0.20812041506682333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988406720341928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10338300980823804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236580726352682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09333013609142823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976497165593632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07720720986694585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09942975172721404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18321645661132135,0.0,0.0664334037192846,0.0,0.09349059874985724,0.1288757560937258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569669600495377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195317643730199,0.0,0.05710837464964591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987577475773076,0.0,0.11060767893142368,0.15605495232293806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13690453027118746,0.1866069289386195,0.1242395415711617,0.0,0.0,0.09015565511148106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661685853363104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3744256010806333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11830270101575728,0.0,0.1064156666054692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669570597752096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18670297638520875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13381536060144278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217027715377776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07765900376916515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13632335444493274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793631733190176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06894695382825733,0.0927848063087378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702000633280292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15055146634020486
addiction,arab-711-store-owner,2020/03/09,"how bad have i fucked up? Im 14 and I have built a dependency on weed (Usually smoke from 1-4 times a day) and have dabbled into shrooms and once did adderall. As I am typing this I am going through weed withdrawls, I havent smoked today because I ran out. I have stressed out my family a lot. Will I turn out fine? Is my brain permanently fucked? Can someone help me figure out why i feel the need to be high 24/7?",0.7816091954023001,2.83306555172414,2.6926436781609238,92.9750574712644,83.13793103448276,5.705747126436782,22.310344827586206,6.937597516519254,0.527013793103448,321,11,73,4,9,107,63,87,0.182,0.7659999999999999,0.052000000000000005,-0.9211,0,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,2,1,4,0,12,3,1,2,0,14,19,5,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,2,1,12,1,11,15,1,14,0,0,0,2,1,8,2,2,4,45,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903792971326684,0.13899312364308694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545351973127266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470479510913765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149480675448048,0.0,0.1152889922305861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42158418505297,0.0,0.0,0.12958365816303835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528306749535736,0.2409056797680909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2462905361883369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938464279818075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16906694427250166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428238094556686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193192611158202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26118533096949986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13295479362065954,0.0,0.21612735432391106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2480100190112404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511214234203485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20574406945190904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,throwaway99918836,2020/03/09,"Video game addiction and drug use and how it’s affected me. (Long) Couldn’t find a better sub for this wanted to write down my thoughts and get your guys’ insight.

I’ve played video games since I was a child with friends and alone. It used to be a casual thing, all my friends played halo and we had video game birthday parties and hang-outs. It would be mixed in with outdoor activities and school. I had a really good friend group up until middle school where we all separated but I stayed close friends with one of them. 

Middle school was great it was the same thing having fun playing games and I made another friend group. Then high school hit.

I won’t go into details about freshman and sophomore year because it was all-around fine same friend group and I was happy. Around Junior year was where things started going downhill. My friends and I started smoking weed everyday and we become a group that smokes and tries psychedelics. Now that I’m writing this part everything about that year seems kind of blurry. I remember that I progressively become more paranoid and anxious while high and at some point I started becoming anxious and paranoid while sober. This is was where my depression started. I started to lose most of the friends I’ve become acquainted with in high school and I was entering a dark hole of anxiety and panic attacks. I would feel like I was dying and the world was staring at me watching me die and not doing anything but stare. It was the fucking worst and it just made me more and more anxious and depressed every single day. It didn’t stop and this is where video games started to come in to play. Because of my anxiety I couldn’t step outside of my room. I was losing myself and I wasn’t able to stop it. I started playing video games non-stop as means to silence my brain and the terrible thoughts it made. It worked really well. It become the only thing in my life that wasn’t painful. (Holy shit this extremely depressing I’m sorry).

Video games became my addiction... it’s been 3 years since junior year. I have don’t absolutely nothing I’ve lost everyone around except for my mom my sister and a friend who is becoming more and more distant to my pathetic existence.

The reason I’m writing this is because to is the first time in 3 fucking years that I’ve made the decision on my own to stop. I hiked for the first time in years and when I got back into my car it was the best I’ve ever felt in I don’t know how long. It feels like my brain is taking in every terrible decision I’ve made in my life at the same time and it’s tearing me to shreds. I just did dishes for about an hour and cried about 30 times in short bursts. Now I’m sitting in a chair writing this out and now I’m wondering what I’m going to do next.",4.076668417366946,5.672076033088239,4.384957983193278,86.6942156862745,71.75735294117645,7.460364145658264,27.47443977591036,8.037061389416179,1.6620167717086836,2198,79,435,31,42,688,233,544,0.159,0.7,0.141,-0.9339,0,1,2,0,0,0,42.0,3,1,1,9,21,41,4,1,21,0,39,12,3,11,3,97,80,42,2,5,6,2,3,2,9,3,6,0,1,2,35,46,1,3,15,19,0,7,9,15,1,3,30,6,50,26,55,42,17,84,0,6,3,2,34,36,3,4,41,273,85,8,0.053695685010809416,0.0,0.0,0.11707244488513965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055612535899889605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05630460754685665,0.0821541041234325,0.18198252057938608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044186973595024784,0.14340163141778733,0.0,0.06108659346057111,0.0,0.041288667336480143,0.0,0.09819717359177957,0.3558159926323283,0.0,0.0,0.05635030865833859,0.047489469858502616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119884285402579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046254078095932696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05898218862925062,0.034629274698783734,0.0,0.13874404445625646,0.0,0.11145528717171388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062269947360803025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048570821228259516,0.09048186099502327,0.051308528105857,0.048258219369958895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05430030343255887,0.07672041620125483,0.0515562782182448,0.0,0.04907688332052576,0.09134704447948216,0.0,0.0,0.3733663773730106,0.09928159110350453,0.02805377921047809,0.0,0.09154948562756897,0.0450373930125469,0.042945344497321104,0.0591996822868378,0.0,0.053167170184272826,0.0,0.05716005516121225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17019731793479606,0.0,0.0,0.05287943356357616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05591579302412709,0.029509744218462388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758537005863938,0.05246599884493451,0.0,0.0,0.09503798305979876,0.0,0.12014347340559757,0.058615183179951236,0.0,0.0,0.25404077732288183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058490342406233124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06288773731646517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0571059701732608,0.0,0.0,0.051522457948504734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036385585818575074,0.04083798807095585,0.057135994678783664,0.0630003169785417,0.0,0.0581471942604009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050759778314417095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879766154903945,0.055208107194822005,0.0,0.0,0.06082674376902734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717144995337316,0.0,0.04888253496494932,0.0,0.0,0.05511784903586834,0.08883525103368001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601079232391202,0.2660425755457745,0.057232455783297616,0.0,0.17956798801061047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04037247261767743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269210871603913,0.0,0.0,0.08525675206472823,0.1252415429562534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03645584544500543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927516632314972,0.0,0.0,0.03167110622660254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04827886941724691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058230679889652436,0.0390910982003912,0.0,0.0,0.07628774805442635,0.0,0.0,0.2420478246534264
addiction,Bweezycool,2020/03/09,Please help My father goes missing for days at a time and is impossible to contact.  Today I just found out it is because of alcohol and drugs. (idk what drugs and he won't tell me). When he goes missing he isn't sleeping during those times.  He fully broke down in front of me today but doesn't want any help. He just says he is fine.  Please tell me how to go about helping my father.,0.7853445850914191,3.08261282278481,2.1725738396624514,95.12049226441636,85.32911392405063,4.5237693389592115,18.904360056258792,5.82211442006289,-0.29457074542897305,299,8,65,2,9,96,53,79,0.077,0.748,0.175,0.8563,0,0,3,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,6,4,1,1,0,10,11,6,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,3,4,1,0,1,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,1,1,6,1,10,9,0,12,0,3,0,0,15,4,0,0,6,34,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20142031632304044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12816810150165714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11489139010067705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215494915829593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4371376824054061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066509139715202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071135479976164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3789884327054072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4137735083564565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14988129258309993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886091107202217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32946741467844204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21980024132490167,0.0,0.3573007286435027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111662572548377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,RileyG00,2020/03/10,"I am Addicted to Coffee. Not Caffeine, Coffee I don't even care about the caffeine. I don't believe it effects me at all. I can easily have a coffee shortly before going to sleep and I sleep just fine. No insomnia or anything. I also don't get an energy boost when I have it throughout the day. I just love the taste of coffee. Black coffee, with flavoured creamer, non-flavoured creamer, a speciality drink from a coffee shop, anything. I will drink it all. I just now finished my third cup today and I know that it is far too much. I normally have two cups a day. I generally just use instant coffee since the stuff I get costs $0.185/serving, as opposed to the $0.30 - $0.44 that the K-Cups cost/serving. Either way, I am addicted to the damn stuff. How can I stop? Nothing sounds better than brewing (is it really called brewing with instant coffee? haha) a cup of coffee and watching a movie late at night. I have tried to stop, but the clichéd method of just slowly reducing my intake has done nothing. Any advice?",1.98006395614436,4.5067384020100505,3.4141091822750127,86.69607469164002,82.06532663316581,5.6282320694381,24.62334399269073,6.980632752743323,1.1818221105527629,798,31,149,10,22,261,113,199,0.069,0.887,0.043,-0.3744,0,0,3,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,2,12,7,1,0,15,1,16,9,2,3,2,25,23,9,0,1,9,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,9,5,3,3,2,3,2,1,5,1,0,2,1,5,20,6,16,21,4,16,0,0,2,1,2,4,1,1,10,100,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3145067589498272,0.0,0.140959060643909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535637019472472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809468914785026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374102952544872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274580340679896,0.1625199264381998,0.0,0.12757706789242096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14729499162237586,0.0,0.14707210284890113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18605814478348134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14761744518969194,0.0,0.28261942532405065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09527551454779623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507289470966101,0.0,0.08198038413024057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792758195209185,0.0,0.16271985611920714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13019091528174526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10604006937403464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13536849803703166,0.1413340019718709,0.2768228045192183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09241000125325836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11932477753628687,0.0,0.2887075936958215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24119828528295786,0.0,0.0,0.33026261038762483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13673177451306642,0.0,0.0,0.09793602420222322,0.0,0.14091091991220436,0.0,0.0,0.1245853583170826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144986352766422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,silentuser01,2020/03/10,"Partner is addicted to computer how can I help him? So my partner is addicted to his computer, he says that it's not a problem because he's not always just gaming ( I also game on the other computer ) but this is all that he does if he's not working than he's on the computer he also does some modding and other stuff (He only works 2 nights a week) I just think that what he's doing is not healthy I can easily amuse myself it's not about me. Do you think that I can help him? If so how?",0.3435844155844165,2.3230383714285736,3.1917748917748945,89.18064935064936,84.33333333333333,6.4848484848484835,21.926406926406926,7.686295010490155,1.0319523809523807,379,13,83,7,11,134,57,105,0.054000000000000006,0.8370000000000001,0.109,0.6886,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,2,9,2,0,0,4,0,9,2,0,2,1,18,11,10,0,3,10,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,2,11,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,1,12,1,6,11,2,4,0,0,0,0,19,2,0,3,2,61,23,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4652705521800147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3413085444471733,0.17756419841305188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13008541626907172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3734919872731684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2860723098945569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20025953031908145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16229876533573873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041930285456999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16970262366513214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24428961020194906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734735934100786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17117497225779452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3107125141678466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,cazzofire,2020/03/10,"Should I be concerned? (Vyvanse) I (21M) was diagnosed with ADHD a few years back, after whole childhood of living with untreated attention problems. I have been prescribed several different stimulant meds since 2018 including Adderall, Evekeo, Concerta, and now Vyvanse 50mg. The thing is, I've been taking it every day and noticing that it has been working less than I would like as time goes on. I find myself thinking and doing concerning things. For example, there were a couple days that I took 2 of the 50mg capsules instead of 1, usually resulting in not a better focus but rather a manic episode of some sort. I don't know why I still have urges to take more than I'm supposed to since I know logically that more will not help me complete tasks such as studying and whatnot. I feel like I can't think logically and my impulsivity is just as bad, if not worse than it was untreated. Is it possible that I never had ADHD in the first place? I've suspected that I may have it since I found out about it in middle school. Also, the 3 psychiatrists I've been to all agree that I indeed have it and should be on stimulants. (I've been completely honest about my symptoms every time). 

​

I've been worried since before I was diagnosed that I would probably turn out to be addicted to this stuff if I've taken it long enough, and whoop-de-fuckin-doo here I am, sometimes impulsively taking 100mg of Vyvanse in a day, tossing and turning all night instead of sleeping.

​

So right now, I'm a few days away from spring break of senior year, midterm on Friday, and I'm stuck between continuing to take more for the next few days and try to study, since I will absolutely not take any during spring break, hopefully that will reset my tolerance and I'll be able to take it as a normal medication from there on out...... Or taking it as prescribed, which still gives me urges to indulge in whatever dopamine available since my tolerance is messed up, which also means I won't be able to concentrate on anything...... Or just give up this semester since I just recently came back from a mental hospital after a month of being absent from the semester, lying about my addiction in order to return. 

​

TL;DR: I'm gaining tolerance to my ADHD medication (Vyvanse) and idk if I should keep increasing the dose to pass my midterm this week, depending on Spring Break next week to normalize my tolerance, or just give up this semester entirely and come clean for a few months, which also means I won't be able to graduate for another year.",10.492546777546778,7.808575692307695,9.956235966735962,66.51697349272351,59.228690228690226,13.611683991683993,41.92941787941788,11.979248473330829,4.941898045738046,2032,86,361,48,20,659,232,481,0.061,0.857,0.08199999999999999,0.9035,1,0,0,0,0,0,75.0,0,0,0,4,24,8,0,0,17,0,42,9,1,4,3,69,73,29,0,13,16,0,1,2,0,11,8,0,1,0,28,20,0,1,13,0,0,5,9,3,0,1,16,1,34,5,66,39,14,68,0,0,0,0,4,22,0,11,39,247,62,7,0.19010919569182866,0.0,0.0,0.13816472298354074,0.2284743094058793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15203025511019475,0.0,0.2059832341053133,0.23100348125397754,0.04309359073084785,0.06644868920300374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052147889900372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059537949121504376,0.09745482449779187,0.05291107917875596,0.0,0.0,0.05392297444328691,0.0,0.0,0.05604537817650103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07247809140128188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05458741288997195,0.13288391646938247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07011740303277206,0.0,0.20434117313311995,0.0,0.0,0.12863788790671646,0.0,0.06620788227275176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06547787284698987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067834644751617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03204164049466265,0.045271349129285265,0.0,0.0,0.05791878691461998,0.0539022615793806,0.0,0.06948164017806878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18237006344521287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04247539551412519,0.0,0.0,0.06294044229159956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05632592937360094,0.0,0.0,0.06965269477816351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06191850015242381,0.0,0.055956634252602964,0.05608021859992044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138056431019242,0.07038948645442906,0.12767667610516764,0.06386178503244537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10116223083579644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0488746438592323,0.0,0.13478885757337464,0.059468200602226635,0.12417776518255315,0.0,0.07214685977680399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06620788227275176,0.0,0.0,0.0714398512369984,0.0,0.0,0.06832328898534737,0.06063627515646304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06256996526714105,0.0,0.0,0.054117404793941316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06413355182856471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07158975956686722,0.0,0.3669406794911723,0.0,0.0634154967597871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626742852062551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10121429950236907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254318194685702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06586541527825514,0.3335230634841741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842000681374312,0.08120953088429733,0.0,0.0,0.0739028005503728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0704061038126976,0.04302388825980094,0.137856142455279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06979280687656213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10166275304938302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0571813265060185,0.07075004259971633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04613391955108137,0.06435503878167116,0.06457917063097947,0.09003207874678867,0.0,0.23100348125397754,0.12242408905072122
addiction,hidden_narcissist,2020/03/10,"Addict or begging for attention It’s so frustrating when you feel like you are on edge but all of the people you know, don’t know the struggle and thinks you just craving for immature attention.",7.932972972972973,7.708436486486491,7.570945945945947,73.73317567567568,62.51351351351353,11.724324324324325,37.41891891891892,11.20814326018867,4.289281081081081,158,7,28,4,2,50,30,37,0.136,0.8190000000000001,0.045,-0.5529999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,4,0,0,3,3,1,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,11,6,5,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,4,1,4,6,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,2,20,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4697622192896149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21788415774185466,0.3078465903303187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4736405034791717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105238690353111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29874300747869703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4504871316663495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27611367527021097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,belokon_batista,2020/03/10,"How do I get through this weekend + massive anxiety? Posted on the advice reddit before, happy to say I'm currently 1 month sober from alcohol but I have my first 'free' weekend coming up.  


Until now, I've managed to fill my time with sober social stuff, gym and work, but agonizingly I have had to take some annual leave and will be off from work Friday and Monday plus the weekend with no friends available at short notice. This week has been the most anxiety provoking in my sobriety as I had an internal job interview and my self-esteem still sucks so I can't really assess how it went. Getting the train back from the interview I passed several pubs plus there was alcohol on the train and I have no idea how I'm going to cope with doing nothing for 4 days, especially if I don't hear back from work.  


The interview is incredibly important as the new role would make me properly secure at work and my current one could possibly be cut from the budget. I'm stressing out already and didn't think to ask when I'd hear back so everything is totally uncertain. What do other people in recovery do with anxiety + free time on their hands??",4.849055429864254,6.2416759954751155,6.0819428733031655,76.05965639140273,69.58823529411765,10.049886877828056,30.102092760180998,10.270032843473604,3.279925113122172,909,36,166,25,16,305,138,221,0.139,0.789,0.07200000000000001,-0.9128,3,0,2,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,5,12,9,2,2,10,0,22,3,1,5,1,31,37,21,0,3,3,0,1,0,1,2,2,3,0,0,6,15,2,1,2,5,3,5,5,4,0,2,6,4,15,7,31,26,3,38,0,0,0,0,11,11,1,4,21,113,21,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12435282314936265,0.0,0.27199534141659537,0.0,0.0,0.14042985862491172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920508474123415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896692603245206,0.0,0.0,0.2935553959916148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10828525043829222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10961954040176207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10160334273060978,0.0,0.0,0.08206941599946928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436924149629694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082436559662041,0.0,0.0,0.0983174586350672,0.0,0.13297172963676618,0.0,0.07232236198862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354660871872925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28685290489687504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436562256167104,0.0,0.0,0.12628167268676976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347454401044588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494418560658612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015743068149155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12290437365013135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12210530169837805,0.14488148808416065,0.0,0.0,0.0862317736915786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822309777619057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14346171112294387,0.1218758092708338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08152327697549377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10119886139667818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13275547619927328,0.14376274906104394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297211874919106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162658757889427,0.0,0.1457710047722794,0.0,0.1456773611954182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956804691697376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08154033119066131,0.0,0.0,0.1484076749902759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10207686786433567,0.0,0.0,0.11796733340124055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3705747380492136,0.0,0.0,0.09039881697206494,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,duckehhh,2020/03/10,"I cant get back on my feet (23/m) Sorry for my bad English 

It has been over a year since my rehab and my 6 months in sober living, I had a relapse about 6 months ago but have been clean since

I have had jobs off and on, but I can't keep any work since my addiction

I live with my partner who is taking care of everything money-wise, I try to keep the place picked up in return, but fall short of that too

There are many reasons I can't keep a job I think, I have severe anxiety and minor depression. I also have no insurance for therapy/psychiatry and there are not many community health centers in my area. 

I am afraid of working again because every time in the past when I have a decent amount of money, I relapse

I am afraid of working because I don't want to fail AGAIN, it seems I stay clean with just staying at home doing nothing, but I am doing nothing with my life. I feel horrible about it every day.

I guess I'm asking for advice/help... What motivates you? I want to do better for myself and my partner. It seems every time things get good I fuck up again, so I don't do anything I guess.

guilt is killing me",2.6217948717948723,3.834491008547008,4.154358974358973,88.43230769230772,74.8119658119658,6.90940170940171,24.11111111111111,7.3871296695380915,0.9254803418803416,872,26,189,10,18,291,128,234,0.158,0.745,0.096,-0.9143,2,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,0,6,13,11,2,3,6,0,26,6,1,3,0,28,44,12,1,2,6,0,1,0,2,0,4,0,3,2,8,8,0,3,6,0,1,1,7,8,0,0,4,1,35,3,28,40,1,32,0,2,0,1,5,15,1,4,14,125,43,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188286728614378,0.0,0.0,0.09662402434692914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08716915605962296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07412534957987257,0.0,0.0833865148428878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969966306267299,0.0,0.10190250188945613,0.0,0.0,0.0838160943614854,0.09101242607676377,0.132893666289035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640373844956604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11113518103605388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029751123157693,0.0,0.09388358172207263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755175943567351,0.0,0.09796430181353867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055114873522927266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077093480003732,0.11389847903490904,0.0,0.0,0.09142601653310567,0.0,0.0,0.24015679960074104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11586442233154615,0.0,0.0,0.07306199106713275,0.0,0.10933826481078283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21633606614424852,0.2906589449442639,0.12059497257070945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07699159764839049,0.0,0.0,0.19250217978786932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210225895486872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740093038850755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20918142801533587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405509622181054,0.0,0.0,0.11388427687687876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11207259087463396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984633279568612,0.0,0.12314165202377543,0.0,0.2705036610622145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12201922927242898,0.0,0.2323640467917973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08195621687067536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07241633128599331,0.06984431749507128,0.0,0.0,0.127120317263481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400545425564202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12858484418440647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23806507113126404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07019395261939469
addiction,avimech85,2020/03/10,"The Story Of Doug Felone (Drug Felon) Doug is an average guy who worked hard to get through school and has always held a solid earning job. He is a friendly guy with a lot of friends. He’s mild tempered and mild mannered. He’s never caused harm to another being, abides by the basic laws of society and had a perfectly clean record.

One day Doug is out riding his bicycle and gets struck by a car. He gets treated at the hospital and for his recovery is given pain meds. One day he runs out of his pain meds; he starts vomiting, has diarrhea and more pain than he could ever imagine. The doctor won’t prescribe more meds and his insurance refuses to cover the $900 a day for a basic rehab facility. All he wants to do is alleviate the anguish until he can figure out what to do in order to get his life back on track, so he illegally acquires some pills from a friend of a friend. Unbeknownst to him this person is under surveillance.

A few days later the police show up at his house to inform him that they have him on film purchasing drugs from a known dealer. Doug is booked into county jail where he is surrounded by real criminals, until he is able to make bail. A year of court proceedings ensue until the prosecutor has a “sweet” deal to offer him; accept a felony charge, four months in jail and three years of probation or he could take a gamble by going to trial and risk up to six years in prison. Out of fear Doug accepts the deal, Doug Felone is now a drug felon.

Upon his release from jail, he is now clean and starting life over again. He goes out to apply for jobs but ends up getting turned down at every place he applies due to his felony record. His years and money spent in college are now worthless, yet he still owes tens of thousands in student loan debt. In addition to that it is also difficult for him to find a decent place to live, he is finding that most leasing agencies won’t rent to felons, regardless of having good credit and an eviction-free record. Many of his friends no longer want to associate with him, not because his was an addict for a brief time, but because he is now considered a criminal. Everything he has worked for in his life has now gone to waste. Doug is now a second rate citizen who can no longer contribute to society in ways he was once able to.

Doug feels as though he is left with only two options. First option is to work a menial, low paying job in which he will never get caught up in life and will never be financially stable again. The second option appears to be more lucrative, however it may involve scamming others, selling drugs or robbery.

There is a reason the crime recidivism rate is much higher for a felon as compared to someone with a misdemeanor or someone who is given the option of court ordered rehab. It may be easy to judge someone based on the fact they are or once were an addict, however it’s not always that black and white. Some others grow up in a household where addiction is rampant and it is all they know. Regardless of how they became an addict, do they deserve the right to have a fair chance at life, or should they forever be labeled a felon and be treated as such? What option would YOU take if you were in Doug’s shoes?

Limiting felons from equal employment opportunities causes an estimated loss of $87 billion in gross domestic product every year in the US. In addition it leads to non-violent criminals finding other ways to get ahead in life, such as committing crimes which can cause harm to others.",7.8737356421858715,6.882832699704143,7.786898712147579,74.64701531500174,62.97928994082841,10.911521058127393,34.08353637312913,10.056822442137396,3.2312376957883737,2779,96,515,50,34,895,324,676,0.102,0.823,0.075,-0.9724,11,0,4,0,0,0,58.0,1,2,6,12,21,28,1,3,48,0,59,23,1,7,9,90,85,35,0,9,10,0,2,0,5,8,22,0,3,4,22,28,0,3,12,3,11,10,9,14,0,12,11,5,27,14,111,58,12,97,0,3,2,0,68,46,0,18,37,343,49,17,0.13001955810996454,0.0,0.0,0.2834810198948905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05198829682288307,0.10818668799712784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06816842164620451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04998850727910245,0.0,0.07925871582592679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20034885257183568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10381003736307348,0.0,0.0,0.16770371746251295,0.1340444552717353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06654026356297914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3015628178596661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0575793683179997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05880506703532224,0.10954708540520422,0.0,0.058426597559866074,0.0,0.0,0.07315407523127639,0.03287089761550223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782532809144117,0.0552972848539069,0.0,0.0,0.2511319701707491,0.0,0.2377544846358337,0.0,0.036946555587892664,0.054527118303243007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287398041746713,0.0,0.0,0.05823599281132616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750125566494349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935365236158059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03572767441601845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063331515928456,0.0,0.2755099770846507,0.0,0.0,0.057404825939914236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05526898938084705,0.0,0.0,0.04339453232840813,0.06590971227345563,0.0,0.0,0.21663362737342384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051890185412216634,0.0,0.047789667726460164,0.0,0.15041864799886626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13846658600778242,0.08810461750792388,0.04944286642415297,0.2075249653341769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056764031526738215,0.13584276497262168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.073995361016472,0.0,0.06684088023193382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05551799610555688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657933671101022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652477244857388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202851243722587,0.0,0.05191689352986389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09775852656503686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06387177784884325,0.0,0.03790772496175468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707119715838269,0.06350510784636487,0.0,0.07819875976017028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668890406384885,0.10320347331541332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419836802442763,0.0,0.0,0.046181081818977,0.0,0.0,0.2093208314103911
addiction,KeepYourTruth,2020/03/10,"I always thought I would be over my addiction by the time I got to med school. It’s been totally secret. I’ve never lost a job, I’ve never failed a course, but I’m seriously addicted to opioids. I’m halfway through medical school, and I met an addict doctor who lost her whole career in surgery over her addiction.

I don’t need to be high, I think my dopamine is fucked and I get unbearably miserable without them, and now it’s like “ok let me just finish step1” but it’s been “let’s be get into university and stop” then “let me get into medical school and stop”. I get them legally and I don’t do that shady shit to get them, but I’m tired and I wonder how long my organs can take.",2.1167249417249394,3.6732734405594414,3.993164335664337,87.65846445221447,76.83216783216784,7.563869463869463,24.50407925407925,8.344100000000001,1.4277463869463871,534,18,117,10,12,181,82,143,0.182,0.727,0.091,-0.9544,1,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,3,3,3,9,2,1,4,1,14,10,1,1,3,26,32,12,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,1,8,0,0,0,5,9,0,2,4,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,7,0,20,2,12,18,2,15,0,4,0,1,8,6,2,1,10,73,25,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5042335740925485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621695374571076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11835654792642393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069019946854921,0.3020705976538924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09248326780808801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217392687554228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11474914388322295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35473154490093,0.0,0.05649305039685491,0.0,0.0,0.10233266658052048,0.0,0.0,0.2524568726647294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12844357650427152,0.2329786697015079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857413262589084,0.17836851421601255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3510840831087462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11869688910535932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19335081042347624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869425601512702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07409375404213442,0.0,0.09180067276141968,0.0674272572120353,0.13290455226359574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12910150318002972,0.0,0.1114672841861826,0.12540040430267604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214324877791541,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,999abv,2020/03/10,How to treat marijuana withdrawals I’ve recently stopped smoking weed and I have digestion problems and I can barley eat. Does anyone know if there is something I can do because I need to eat.,4.98,7.212943666666671,5.478888888888887,77.155,70.66666666666666,8.133333333333335,37.0,8.841846274778883,3.624733333333333,156,9,26,3,3,50,28,36,0.13,0.7929999999999999,0.076,-0.2263,0,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,0,8,7,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,2,7,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,16,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22280839518855305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19424687243913216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2788538964999185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6521196544225686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17512241884103302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362758983826023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30490625549319833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3146297124405405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24531333556965515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664067517328877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,FEfan93,2020/03/10,"Shy but here I’ve been struggling for over a decade with my impulses and it’s finally time for me to own up to the fact that I have addictive tendencies, and moderation is not my solution for now. At least to start. I’m shy to say what specifically my addiction is because I worry that it might seem small to others who are suffering with worse but it has affected my daily life negatively and no matter how much I know it’s bad for me to continue I don’t know how to stop. I want to make short term goals I can reach and turn into long term goals and come clean, where on earth do I begin? How do I keep myself accountable?",1.9817441860465088,3.963529596899225,3.878468992248063,86.40281976744188,78.6124031007752,8.331007751937985,22.377906976744185,9.075114841892004,1.6682139534883724,494,15,107,13,12,167,86,129,0.245,0.703,0.051,-0.9828,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,6,3,0,1,2,0,11,3,0,5,1,26,22,10,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,1,0,9,9,0,2,3,0,1,1,4,3,0,0,1,1,15,0,19,20,5,19,0,1,0,0,2,8,0,2,10,75,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4774763230008551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18285266301506728,0.1334980388188427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886458180206988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23989961099268764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19465386725464426,0.0,0.0,0.2407091468184701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15468347858256964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938047280952031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14618165083639525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323203395440997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609873904921288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17415455238154598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19936589755961767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15500662353358874,0.0,0.0,0.1830906126716824,0.0,0.22894235674436006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12769843381244722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382049577534709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12916962109473445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22240125135060948,0.22317581702094968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Ithiler,2020/03/10,"Gambling addiction This is probably a bit of a rant

I've been gambling for 2 years. Ive recently lost all my money on the blackjack tables. I'm 18 years old so its only 1000 euro's, but even after that my only thought is winning it back. I can't find anything that takes my mind off it and i don't know what to do. I live with my parents and want to keep it from them so i don't want to go to a clinic. Does anyone have advice on how to go forward?",0.5634555555555565,2.0570207900000064,3.139333333333333,92.34522222222223,81.1,5.6444444444444475,22.11111111111111,6.42735559955562,0.34127777777777796,349,11,81,3,9,122,69,100,0.037000000000000005,0.8809999999999999,0.083,0.631,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,2,5,2,0,0,4,0,9,2,0,1,1,13,19,6,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,3,0,1,3,1,4,3,3,1,0,0,3,0,10,1,13,16,2,12,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,7,52,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22470831553765006,0.0,0.20142443477416813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441284447660805,0.0,0.1696245502515337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15849855868436755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250367568355636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803826933248325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361446123288787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18839589099916287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23429288561616746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18321470831801684,0.0,0.0,0.1132817363092294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18201348006258708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250114292944012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081290096855215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21629509247221865,0.0,0.0,0.31353699048053124,0.0,0.0,0.2288790900419615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222392351442478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035250561042773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15498147877425486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16364142017766914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2431575060510994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26547742180755257
addiction,cryingorangejuice,2020/03/10,"addiction ruins lives in ways people don’t even think. i was fucked up on anything i could be for months straight. or on a comedown or hungover. for months straight. didn’t realise how bad it was, nobody could get through to me and a lot of people were similar enough they didn’t try. in the state i was in i was blind and numb to everything, feeling things i didn’t feel, doing bad things i didn’t see as bad. 
i lost a lot of long term friends during this period and all of the respect i had from them. my relationship with my family fell to pieces- and they still don’t know the extent of the problem. they don’t even know i touched hard drugs- all they knew was a bit of alcohol and weed here and there. 
addiction is a weird mental health issue (calling it a mental health issue cause that’s what it is).
a lot of people don’t see it how it is and as much as there’s ‘narciccists and borderlines are the most hated!!’ i disagree. addicts are among the most hated and people don’t even realise. i used to hate addicts without even realising until i went through it myself. 
of course we do selfish things. i brought people down the hole with me, i encouraged other people into this shit, glorified it, did extremely fucked up shit while fucked up, i was selfish and deluded and angry and lost. i behaved in a way that was impossible to not hate, i told people who were clearly right they were wrong, acted out constantly, even scammed people i cared about for price and sold them the same drugs that ruined me at all, and  the most crazy thing is i didn’t even realise how hated i was- had a weird sense of pride (probably from the coke n booze). thought i was cooler and had more friends and whatever than i did- and i didn’t even believe i was liked in the slightest. 
addiction makes people selfish and cold and behave crazy. i understand now- when you see addicts walking the streets talking to themselves, a lot of the time they won’t even realise the extent or their problem. won’t even realise how fried their brain is. won’t see how they’ve been fucked up for months or years, somehow. 
i lost more people than i can count when i was an addict. of course i’m hurt by the people that left me and grateful for the people that stuck by me, for some reason. 
but also feel guilty and don’t understand why. to be honest, i’d probably have left me before i understood me. 
now i see the addicts in my family and i see various addicts and i’m no longer scared and full of hatred- i’m just sad for them. they’re lost and hated and one thing i learnt from being an addict is SO many people give up on you, and i’m sure enough people gave up on them that it’s almost understandable why they only rely on drugs now. 
afterall, heroin will always be around when your girlfriend breaks your heart.. heroin won’t leave you, you have to leave heroin. 
i’m sorry this is preachy and ranty and doesn’t come to much of a conclusion. i just want people to see the other side and have more sympathy. see addiction as a mental illness that needs treating, not give up on their addicted friends and family like my family did to me and the other addicts in my family who i am now sad about how they’re shunned and a lot more understanding, and not make excuses for addicts bad behaviour, but understand just how far the impact of being really fucking high can make a person go. sober and well me isn’t drunk and high me. sober me isn’t a bad person. high and drunk me is a bad person- but also a lost person who needed more people to stay. i definitely want to raise awareness for addiction in the future, i mean i feel fairly purposeless now and that would give me some sort of purpose.. not enough people are speaking out. 
i guess a lot either die to their addiction or speak out during it or have nobody to listen. but we need awareness and less hatred. less stigma. more friends and family. 
thank you to anyone who read this shitshow.",4.112840149692595,5.539448856589146,4.707506014434647,85.08069767441862,71.41602067183462,7.663512429831598,26.006326294217228,8.16106018226119,1.5463197718969974,3101,98,610,45,58,990,295,774,0.198,0.731,0.071,-0.9985,0,0,4,0,0,0,79.0,2,7,15,7,39,53,12,1,41,0,69,38,4,13,5,130,138,69,1,10,19,0,6,2,5,6,25,3,0,4,34,50,5,0,18,3,2,7,25,38,1,1,41,19,81,15,87,84,36,74,0,10,9,5,50,41,7,21,23,437,115,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5820867031217509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03566453172277447,0.03341724941433498,0.0,0.0,0.053375171836491014,0.027768187338106126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023334486709809952,0.0,0.027462322374503356,0.02970816593383528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16718541628809067,0.0,0.0,0.028397124224638807,0.03759882954816431,0.0,0.0,0.03643359379975771,0.0,0.0,0.03725420214944621,0.034076555439581366,0.0,0.03402499033500778,0.03428224904057841,0.0,0.028747033355300457,0.0,0.0360632893189184,0.0,0.05328967211104842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03463487966730863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11610281693007407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034466278092653,0.0,0.19837709252610267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02999261252204276,0.0,0.1887609771337489,0.0,0.06749556788230389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313253467153627,0.15425943660039745,0.017435498877163082,0.09604042432703187,0.01896608346286729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03676303358272622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029894767797096024,0.1647397639743445,0.0,0.07094577636442924,0.0,0.039545994868590284,0.0,0.10577808870185848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03572542903401839,0.0,0.0,0.06966342035888484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03668077005426767,0.0,0.0,0.07067228428363766,0.07251757730883028,0.0,0.0,0.032607758729648384,0.0,0.029468097976217387,0.029533180440588606,0.0,0.0,0.18214746627381967,0.17023014711265433,0.0,0.0,0.0668282313907269,0.033833982196748214,0.0,0.03635190437970878,0.0,0.0,0.10089341666496103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799116647090858,0.0,0.04906453726689258,0.0742347720694031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022613738987713208,0.025380918906312864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3933111699624348,0.116556614547067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07196134652376718,0.06386501693998542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03338104291390353,0.0,0.02137896540943941,0.034311986409520684,0.0,0.035829051732721134,0.0,0.028499515883807763,0.0,0.0,0.033411205780049635,0.0,0.21274538283149835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685117814442334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037357235197489985,0.0,0.035570124476286755,0.02665093187043572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031452726343500464,0.0,0.0,0.02682315911496656,0.0,0.03072446495400308,0.0,0.0,0.11085440942878824,0.02138343776984589,0.0,0.02649364981706163,0.019459488552368863,0.0,0.0,0.031888387566849835,0.0,0.0226574055336194,0.0,0.0,0.1737072069582248,0.0,0.02882270349379103,0.0,0.0,0.03936735460199201,0.052978299530561726,0.0,0.0,0.030005446581710886,0.030936189439331026,0.06022610024337002,0.0,0.0,0.032169428659445734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023706519816186704,0.03648705626683448,0.0,0.02149048156655347
addiction,WTFisGOINon536283,2020/03/10,"I can’t overcome my addiction And I have no trust in myself and no one to talk to. I’m addicted to adderall and have spent most of the past year tweaking


https://www.reddit.com/user/WTFisGOINon536283/comments/fgbdhj/_/",10.003137254901961,13.754797352941177,6.530000000000005,68.4316666666667,60.764705882352935,8.062745098039215,28.98039215686275,8.841846274778883,2.4193450980392166,186,6,27,3,3,51,26,34,0.127,0.778,0.095,-0.0258,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,4,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,4,1,5,4,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,20,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8134027061801529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25280187835673945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35613751639451235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2998595239561912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.240244840084492
addiction,anoddoddity,2020/03/10,"Try heroin? Can anyone just try heroin once? Or is it the kind of substance that once you try it, it's all over? 

I know what the main stream people say but I also know that no substance is necessarily bad in its own right. Drugs don't kill people. Irresponsibility, lack of self control, and despair kills people. I am a long time addict but I've never touched the hard stuff except cocaine and opiates, I'm not sure if those are considered ""hard"" or not.. I've been able to quit everything I've ever been addicted to. I've choosen the path of harm reduction and use safer legal substances. I choose not to quit because they benefit my life at this point. I've never had the thought to use heroin but I did just now. So thought I'd come to the womderful information and advice hub of the internet. Reddit. 

What are your thoughts. Trust, I'll consider them carefully and listen to reason.",2.3470716034271746,4.963015377906976,3.650991432068544,85.01053243574053,81.26744186046511,6.411750305997553,23.5875152998776,7.669130373188453,1.3262162790697674,703,25,134,12,19,229,111,172,0.17600000000000002,0.711,0.113,-0.9221,0,0,2,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,2,3,6,10,2,0,8,0,11,4,0,4,5,35,22,13,2,2,12,0,3,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,11,6,0,1,8,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,7,5,10,5,14,15,4,12,0,1,0,0,8,5,0,3,6,81,21,1,0.12689001624256654,0.0,0.0,0.2766576947485042,0.0,0.1239954553023761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147390014508027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887244496966335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10594786336302377,0.07735097615091839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12937282833556815,0.0,0.0,0.10930451338308328,0.0,0.0,0.14231794289312116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14715213392743628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11477928428192975,0.0,0.0,0.1140405646833393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22733706162826395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2807700053048281,0.13213642555484967,0.1394708689326108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896261710557252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11229367137872412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957308060952742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27026745211240183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639086809586646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199520798270634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26992630294959924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13046407019972048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083633805558821,0.0,0.10090803390841614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13237396062525186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452587104273326,0.0,0.0,0.11959233862695985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30220949743272746,0.07399058889352055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584499752478437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21918446615590226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,jennand_juice,2020/03/10,"Anyone know of a blog detailing their experience starting suboxone? Hey guys, so I recently relapsed (opiates) and have been trying to get back on suboxone for the past week but been having trouble sticking to it. 

The first 2 weeks are always the hardest for me and am wondering if anyone knows of a blog or maybe even a podcast, detailing their suboxone journey. Specifically of the first few days. I’ve read one in the past that was helpful for me. Although I’ve been through it a lot but it’s comforting hearing someone going through something similar (as in, we’re doing this together), also reassured me that the sluggishness is normal. 

I’ve tried googling blogs but I don’t know how to find one. If anyone knows of one or how to go about a finding one, please lmk. Thanks and sending love to my fellow soldiers 😘",4.072207792207795,6.4797195974026,4.867532467532467,79.75701298701301,73.80519480519482,8.036363636363637,32.42857142857143,8.841846274778883,3.10316103896104,654,33,113,14,14,211,100,154,0.022000000000000002,0.83,0.147,0.9676,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,2,2,7,5,0,0,11,0,11,1,0,2,0,21,23,16,0,3,7,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,6,3,0,0,7,4,0,4,1,1,0,6,4,1,8,4,19,19,2,17,0,0,0,1,10,3,0,6,10,80,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11378269225137735,0.11838984327579212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984601973681301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10940591031903757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09175998080134284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093975777259497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13917888769870226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260085948114839,0.24204962768079835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07433636032374058,0.0,0.16172403487375742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408813368979383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603619126905746,0.0,0.09536848147501048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3127773927108848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12096288576619732,0.12841486623081508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14294117724525562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394059402517188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38565527984047854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27164812706218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561826737752297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14232028871168906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14048609792196046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12055489491194625,0.10953546953679473,0.0,0.0,0.10070777991315076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309939516882084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19319998511247544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22825973162897176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542985267580934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,imgonnathrowafit,2020/03/10,Just got diagnosed with BPD Without going into my whole life story... I just want to ask how to get better with an identity that supports my success and also my addictions?? I’m gonna end up dead if I keep going down this path. I get better and work through really hard shit and then I end up in the same hole. No matter how far I come. I always end up back here. Maybe I just need words of encouragement. Idk.,1.0673809523809543,3.2885662142857166,3.0809523809523824,89.59738095238096,83.28571428571429,6.114285714285715,18.857142857142858,7.3871296695380915,0.4643428571428571,318,8,67,5,9,107,61,84,0.14300000000000002,0.67,0.187,0.4747,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,4,8,6,1,0,2,0,0,4,1,2,0,20,13,8,1,3,5,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,1,1,10,5,13,11,2,15,0,0,0,0,2,7,1,1,5,43,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19899155286883805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14597424433745018,0.15188485671645474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17064683635613584,0.0,0.0,0.1403591773834041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3228771163473271,0.0,0.0,0.22989812896367515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572388931632275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18527054170965504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4850190500536738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907354064198299,0.0,0.20747921599310204,0.0,0.14599098529792254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16351670593934045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622466851277019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12893081446572194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183382287061582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353483824475543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693745286364855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18737092885005305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20714007432628206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107664662086604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203795303727872,0.0,0.17595851695674175,0.0,0.13288862877811947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,JustTired10,2020/03/10,"I screwed up 14 months sobriety. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to think at all in truth. Life had improved so much. I have kept a job 2 years, have improved my relationships, got my highschool, and am supposed to go to college in September. There is no excuse or explanation besides I am a useless fuckup. Something did happen, but it doesn't matter. It was huge for everyone involved. I don't need to get into it, its not important. But it meant so, so much to me and others. It was months and months of work and hopes, and ended utterly in 36 hours with grown men screaming obscenities at each other and almost coming to blows, sobbing openly, and such. I was just numb. I came home and have now spent $600 out of $800 in savings in 5 days on cocaine. 

I did not do it all though, I stopped and went 2 days sober well keeping 1.5 grams in my place. I could not bring myself to do it, or throw it away. Then a buddy came over, and was into it. He is my only even halfway normal friend, but because he is normal he only did a bit with me, then went home. So now I am sitting doing a solid gram to myself. It is a lot to me, it will take all night and into tomorrow. I don't want it anymore. But I guess I do. I never could control myself in the moment, it was only by stopping entirely, just saying no, I got sober in the first place. It is my idea to just fucking finish it, and never buy more. But I know how that sounds. 

I don't know what to do anymore. I do not have a soul to reach out to in real life. Heck, on here I built a good reputation, and did not want this on my normal account. I am just such a useless bastard. I hate this. I am not tired of course, but deep in my heart I am more tired than I can express. I hate myself. Every time I do a bump I feel the euphoria, but there is always some deeper level of sadness I cannot describe. I am so sorry to post this. am sorry I am such a fuckup. Whatever anyone has is wonderful, advice or compassion or relatedness, call me an asshole, really anything at all. But if people do not know what to say I get that as well a great deal. I am really sorry. Thank you to anyone who reads this so much, and I hope your day can be such a beautiful one. :)",1.5714677419354857,3.1123485741935504,3.712782258064518,89.14917338709681,78.31182795698925,6.2844086021505365,22.162634408602152,7.066338657993696,0.6100763440860208,1697,49,372,19,40,582,216,465,0.115,0.735,0.15,0.9727,1,0,2,0,0,0,70.0,0,2,0,3,24,21,5,0,17,0,53,8,1,2,7,90,88,38,0,11,24,0,1,0,1,1,5,5,2,1,29,26,0,5,10,1,3,9,18,11,2,2,19,6,52,10,51,65,13,64,1,4,0,2,17,30,5,12,23,280,81,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08072354093274216,0.0,0.0,0.08271993769688296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06873643901936995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638497947316865,0.1155228105635896,0.0,0.06797931115348321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776128962553119,0.0,0.0,0.050357044734256236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09018649535819298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435196170506375,0.18896299492045948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115944159966082,0.0,0.0,0.09265184970353003,0.1319114659096478,0.0,0.0,0.15982589765096195,0.08516517786287076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316613184921791,0.0,0.0,0.054561777464706994,0.0,0.0696007678495938,0.07893544438915844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04176906588581224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026628726074338,0.0,0.0,0.0638227037837195,0.07636972646388636,0.08631849754901227,0.0,0.046948006490602,0.06928763624323793,0.13213826151269284,0.09107556582733277,0.09100197954075233,0.0,0.0730499448439686,0.0,0.0,0.16311651318987733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978908285098946,0.0,0.0,0.16572503554134665,0.1640966842130262,0.08135219897121516,0.0,0.0,0.09325433001939208,0.0,0.0,0.08197565214857651,0.07342574908040189,0.0,0.0,0.2269958679080511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11669688812736903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023033218910732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19781065293644925,0.0,0.18217906337180725,0.061252754472057774,0.1274247003577696,0.0,0.0,0.0775219729925771,0.2428147798640479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0559772905592516,0.18848122458449984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0572699570800708,0.0,0.1726154687536253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911558925017981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08263031334082728,0.09402594190442397,0.10584154696670073,0.0,0.0,0.08869003221425276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970794926100603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0635956422776468,0.0,0.27741853882850503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13812790441426231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06211090407018936,0.0,0.0,0.07605430941527347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0529318442142054,0.08116189975761738,0.0,0.04816936489017713,0.18989139224272225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744862838923404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14854895093439682,0.15315681020130165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958480712386388,0.06013957761060532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05319681683611995
addiction,tilagamre,2020/03/10,"Quitting cocaine on my own 
Hi , 

I’m a long time Reddit reader, first time reddit poster so forgive me if I posted this in the wrong community. 

Basically, I’m addicted to cocaine and I’m ready to quit. I have tried a handful of times in the past, Gave it up for a few weeks and then found a way to convince myself to do it. 

I never used to have an addictive personality, I have tried other drugs (molly, weed, lsd etc) and was able to control any impulse to use keeping it to limited occasions, however with cocaine I always find a way to convince myself to do it, thinking it’ll be different or something.  

I’ve been doing it for about two years now, it started off as a way to self medicate and deal with my depression however Ive realized that it is not the way to deal with this and have accepted that I am addicted. I’ve overdosed, had it ruin my relationships with my mom and boyfriend, dropped out of school, and  pretty much just ruined any motivation I had to do shit with my life. 

I’m on track to getting my life together finally now. I have a new job that pays well, and got accepted to go back to school next semester. I really want to continue on this good path and don’t want to let this addiction ruin my life.

Rehab unfortunately does not work for me. I know that is the preferred method. I am really forced to do this on my own. None of my friends or any one close to me share this issue. 

If any one has any advice on things they or people they know did to quit on their own, any tips and tricks that helped them when they’d feel weak or compelled to use, i would really appreciate it.",5.355882352941176,5.2864245882352945,6.566315789473684,78.26421052631581,67.82352941176471,10.26749226006192,31.24148606811145,10.064110947511567,2.8799696594427235,1254,46,258,28,19,425,169,323,0.106,0.7929999999999999,0.10099999999999999,-0.7616,4,0,6,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,5,8,8,17,2,0,12,0,27,13,2,6,1,49,47,20,0,6,9,1,2,0,1,2,11,0,0,2,23,17,0,3,12,0,1,1,5,8,1,4,8,2,32,9,46,34,7,38,0,4,0,0,17,12,1,6,19,175,55,6,0.08768087927055103,0.0,0.0,0.3823404023550768,0.0,0.08568074044282069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729575155218894,0.0,0.0,0.3577560276566437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06742118394137399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834156175841732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18079027294689834,0.07551941283567462,0.0,0.0,0.09160785691387033,0.0,0.0,0.0767301283206777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10168198311702356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778735778036396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044334087074836936,0.0,0.0,0.09605011743336887,0.08013873518022326,0.07458131111573278,0.0,0.09613755844586387,0.0677420298226026,0.0,0.04580964052402812,0.0,0.04983106429610987,0.0735425615409978,0.07012640895341607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058770645141438475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151605775085292,0.08700974329440317,0.0779347941887153,0.0,0.0,0.09637423638800653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965963961545989,0.1857947941813546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759481899807574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08832926136873583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10269078608705864,0.0,0.0,0.06445553495512714,0.0,0.06762489944819731,0.08468273957363973,0.09324960982211876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882966598543312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370132056203017,0.06078688163391423,0.0765595617698726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08397404510752797,0.08920297606324956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797782238709794,0.0,0.0,0.16851184937383376,0.0,0.0,0.09413645068352752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17747546176106554,0.0,0.0,0.09147027956840792,0.0,0.09000316256312864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750102456265518,0.0,0.0,0.062060977638704926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0582512801292726,0.05618236703783669,0.0,0.0,0.1533822774408338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11905912300125827,0.0,0.08565147851727242,0.0,0.0,0.22718438318572234,0.0,0.0,0.1034329086540384,0.2783880030238862,0.07033231252172882,0.0,0.07883564051450613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638327243831932,0.0,0.0,0.06228598094647478,0.09586527710732397,0.0,0.05646361151968653
addiction,CertainGrand0,2020/03/10,"Day 8 sober and 30 days free of porn addiction, struggling to quit fast food, have no motivation to do anything My life has been in a downward spiral for the past few years and I have finally said enough is enough. I was a poly drug addict abusing alcohol, kratom, xanax, opiates and cocaine, I would usually use a substance for 2-3 days then switch to another so I never really got physically addicted to anything except kratom a few times. I loved the novelty of using different substances. I have been using drugs for about 2 and a half years on and off. I was also addicted to pornography but I have cut that out of my life as well. I had been using pornography daily for about 6 years. I still am struggling to abstain from fast food as it is extremely convenient and tempting. 

​

My main concern is I have no motivation to do anything at all. I know my dopamine sensitivity is extremely low due to all these addictions, how long do you guys think it will be before I regain some motivation to pursue my passions? I used to be such a passionate person and my addictions have taken that away from me.",5.860927555856468,6.897993227488152,6.673639133378469,74.05977488151663,66.96208530805687,10.388761002031146,33.55484089370345,10.451354775682146,3.7028575490859854,885,39,158,23,14,293,125,211,0.083,0.805,0.11199999999999999,0.8079999999999999,1,0,4,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,4,8,9,1,2,8,0,25,18,0,9,3,27,36,14,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,12,1,0,2,5,8,3,1,5,0,1,0,3,4,1,1,9,1,22,6,30,23,8,25,0,1,0,4,5,8,0,1,17,117,27,3,0.0,0.10756693549550664,0.0,0.5938228908307024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09702295878677253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07260178175873586,0.0,0.09836693227695392,0.1103153074324143,0.0,0.09519736505422154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22412820047450946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529672962823939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725246569130209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.175648984089957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485237427228524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21056660081966827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18761306021690566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945196836394307,0.0,0.0,0.21955834025131865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07261010804645986,0.0,0.0,0.08989272333920577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04989378339390451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825011557761373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803430301847977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193819207643188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07002000143521389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08666580850700076,0.0,0.07927110677794474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965624190539174,0.0,0.0,0.05816003686652393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08635857358232467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07250206688801611,0.0,0.0,0.1898191324770483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058172203622077326,0.0,0.0,0.05293822923300898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3920511272850528,0.09998829764856412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08162779844427367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06449199201555526,0.0,0.1103153074324143,0.17539022720504174
addiction,unexplainedmedical,2020/03/10,"Addiction: A polysubstance story of control I’m 28 now. I’m a veteran. I’ve had anxiety and avoidant tendencies my whole life. I have always had friends, but I’m unable to connect in ways I want to. All my relationships (if you can call them that) are quick hookups and flings. I struggle to make eye contact with attractive people. I’m good looking,  bisexual, but prefer women. Being close to people makes me upset, and I lash out at people if they get too close. I’m diagnosed Bipolar and Anxiety. I have some memories I consider traumatic. It’s not a conventional trauma because the drugs I was on affected my perception of the experience. I’ve been on over 10 medications, and I quit them all a few months ago (sort of). 

I’m not dependent on anything on any given day. I have an excel document that I track every detail of my life that’s centered on drug use. I’m more attached to this level of control than any person. I take days off from everything too. Still I’m thinking about what to take next. Intermittently, I binge on opiates and stimulants. I have enough knowledge to hit different receptors each day, other than the occasional stated binge with the above. 

I’m going to college now. I go everyday, even though I don’t want to do anything. I titrated off of lexapro about two years ago, and I never have been the same. I wasn’t really into drugs before that, other than occasional partying. I just don’t care. I stash drugs too, so when if things get too bad, I can end it. I’ve been really depressed lately. I think I need to be on a mood stabilizer. This happens quite often. I’m down for a few weeks and then I cycle upwards into hypomania, 

Maybe not your typical story of addiction. I am a control freak. I’m in shape, intelligent, and highly neurotic. I’m trying to take drugs less and just be me. It’s hard because I just end up secluding like I always do. I always felt like an alien, not even necessarily all that anxious anymore. I don’t think there’s anything left for me to try. All I want is a family and a normal life. Drugs aren’t my problem. I’ve always had issues. They’re my shitty solution-the bandaid. 

This kind of turned into a disorganized rant. My apologies. I just needed to get it out.",2.0230645161290326,4.608417389400927,4.150460829493088,81.08140552995394,82.47926267281105,7.4138248847926285,25.21658986175116,8.418075326091056,2.144047926267282,1753,71,326,42,49,599,218,434,0.122,0.787,0.092,-0.9309999999999999,2,1,6,0,0,0,64.0,0,2,3,6,21,17,0,3,17,0,27,16,1,9,5,67,65,20,0,11,13,0,2,2,1,0,15,0,0,2,16,21,0,4,7,0,0,2,10,8,0,1,10,4,46,8,51,51,13,51,1,1,2,0,12,27,0,7,22,212,62,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16389026149614416,0.0,0.0,0.13326528215537295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250185985542528,0.0,0.0,0.10223477746237468,0.0,0.11500791344180658,0.0849193930440382,0.07454729063782327,0.0,0.0,0.18557265113025045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276284145036452,0.09164445413224542,0.0,0.06396314624546365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675578984270602,0.0,0.07663964194340077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529247368039061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14543304937486287,0.0,0.0647428115963515,0.0762947901319751,0.0,0.07853543874640016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5230319380273853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13315456158466935,0.07766950543796065,0.0,0.09929661954202394,0.0,0.06333298955907615,0.0,0.06755690632104304,0.07352954911954981,0.07086249233274358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07217387428139918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0580752591853756,0.0,0.11781784898926165,0.0,0.0854403678796796,0.06304805648479155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06647155680942897,0.0,0.06733651581946946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07942000633209845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07845673930088316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827677938629676,0.0,0.0,0.0847937254481903,0.0,0.08167116441225533,0.0,0.1592819237278818,0.07344739642867207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06312289369795862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10035156855923076,0.0,0.07551720298422318,0.0,0.0,0.07572469796189281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05999905079673287,0.0,0.0,0.11147348454047636,0.057974843285971925,0.0,0.07994291392709013,0.0,0.07364950317383061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15633782668772805,0.06563453153895032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192642794013873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15990262774115893,0.0,0.0,0.0963101672016632,0.0,0.0,0.08070320282037202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0600299325847757,0.0,0.0,0.07858279229127241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695528380153513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04993883708897481,0.1444954721277754,0.07385300347622477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020694160595488,0.08176211245520631,0.07342903405060854,0.0,0.0,0.06492174292646853,0.0,0.0,0.13300958786098369,0.05966552623256696,0.06029590919407901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08392332523195636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048406268340870515
addiction,UpperNickel,2020/03/11,"AA Discord Server for Gamers in Recovery / Online Meetings  

Hello everyone!

I started an AA Discord Server called **Sober Mario Bros**. If you're in *recovery*, have a *desire to quit drinking*, like to *game*, want to attend online *meetings*, or want to join another AA *community* feel free to sign up!

[https://discord.gg/Ht6mzmb](https://discord.gg/Ht6mzmb)

***Our current meeting schedule is...***

**Monday** \- 6:00 pm MST (5:00 pm PST, 7:00 pm CST, 8:00 pm EST)

**Tuesday** \- 7:00 pm MST (6:00 pm PST, 8:00 pm CST, 9:00 pm EST)

**Wednesday** \- 6:00 pm MST (5:00 pm PST, 7:00 pm CST, 8:00 pm EST)

**Thursday** \- 6:00 pm MST (5:00 pm PST, 7:00 pm CST, 8:00 pm EST)

**Friday** \- 7:00 pm MST (6:00 pm PST, 8:00 pm CST, 9:00 pm EST)

**Saturday** \- 6:00 pm MST (5:00 pm PST, 7:00 pm CST, 8:00 pm EST)

**Sunday** \- 7:00 pm MST (6:00 pm PST, 8:00 pm CST, 9:00 pm EST)

Thank you for being a part of my recovery!!! xD",-1.0691913746630741,-4.8265040062893005,0.43547978436657786,95.98610377358492,180.2578616352201,2.9211500449236296,14.850044923629827,5.060360728125541,-0.5226385265049411,649,20,128,8,70,204,68,159,0.031,0.867,0.102,0.8926,1,0,1,0,0,0,146.0,1,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,7,8,2,0,4,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,4,11,7,1,13,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,2,10,24,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3392539879132543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3303647567910465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3169405038257313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091509475380944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16358869448708016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580625468633598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3503561857240755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3441186184925775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289992865618279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29786697220794456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3816578982477625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,jbeagle3601,2020/03/11,"17 months sober and felt like using today. I caught a though of using today and fixated on it until I couldn't think of anything else. Thank God I have a friend who understands and can talk me out of it. Addiction is crazy, the urge never really goes away It's how you manage the thought when it first hits you.",3.2614285714285742,4.810417365079367,4.120825396825399,87.96028571428577,73.76190476190476,7.5796825396825405,20.536507936507935,8.238735603445708,0.8425136507936508,246,5,51,4,5,79,49,63,0.038,0.8009999999999999,0.162,0.7845,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,1,3,3,0,0,4,0,4,1,0,3,1,13,13,7,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,1,6,3,7,8,0,11,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,8,34,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25188796771373395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19014153141144494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21708715050000102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19301980245307548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218524804195993,0.0,0.0,0.19653831790364745,0.0,0.0,0.17851529281984554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128835554437042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18442876144044346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17820662827082312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14802204880957862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18571614162346806,0.0,0.2127277051985691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14805301419717826,0.2270138907017273,0.18343471029863145,0.0,0.0,0.4380330511050563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24054014003496302,0.0,0.3991208687299915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Badg33r,2020/03/11,"How do i turn back into my old self Hello everyone.
So i'm at home, smoking weed, thinking how bad my life was for the past 4 years or so and it's all because a small plant and bad friends with bad habbits.
I always say that i will quit but it's the same old stuff everyday, it's just that for the past 1 week it really got me thinking that i really need to stop, i lost 10 kg in the past 2 months bcz i buy microwaved food and i sit in bed and play while being high off my tits... It's bad man... I need some advice, before started smoking i was into parkour a lot and sports in general but i tried this method and i just train and smoke at the end of the day. Neither throwing papers, grinders, even weed in the garbage worked.
I tried meditation but my mind is thinking about weed.
I think my brain is just a sativa leaf at this point.
I need some advice guys, something new, out of the ordinary. If there is an answer, it's here.",1.0299355531686345,2.930493959183675,2.581117078410312,94.93080021482278,81.34693877551021,5.554887218045113,21.030075187969924,6.5966054737557815,0.17770816326530614,720,21,165,7,19,235,117,196,0.095,0.877,0.027999999999999997,-0.9099,0,0,3,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,3,12,7,0,0,12,0,8,4,2,2,1,37,20,17,0,4,8,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,2,3,12,11,1,1,5,2,1,1,1,5,0,0,4,1,20,2,18,14,6,32,0,1,0,1,6,14,1,5,16,100,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23496897704205705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10003854250739476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244718556232101,0.4015382824071017,0.07328929796283253,0.0,0.1023043702581146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13421315694568614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753650554709245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10648548710876653,0.0,0.0,0.07940883717650776,0.0,0.0,0.11488210505987455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14537903439926705,0.0,0.09288712590428592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961565603323273,0.0,0.0,0.11904368837562936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12702648651022294,0.12059754075906215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491992580617032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312420348190473,0.10221274439353208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12139505456081608,0.0,0.0959640897633254,0.0,0.0,0.2674405178403785,0.0,0.1161160407105487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252316143641636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34431098928214504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365342956441465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12787627402581975,0.0,0.0,0.15404106244568386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560938118645462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12542304086577655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925566621437084,0.0,0.0,0.08509732966026412,0.0,0.0,0.10051520295741236,0.0,0.0,0.13763121604870898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3081465739547775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16325255941152514,0.13077251380979807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09643889303957112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08752672930117776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742228282757872
addiction,breakingmurphy,2020/03/11,"I'm running on empty and I don't know what to think anymore! TL:DR - My brother has been getting drunk and high for most of my life.  This week he almost died, decided to get sober, and I haven't been able to process it yet. 

First off, sorry for the LONG ASS post.  But this has been weighing on me and it just came out like a load of verbal vomit. 

The last two weeks have been pretty monumentally hell-ish for me, and truly, I just want to stop doing everything and sleep for the next month. Back Story: I have BPD. My brother has been relatively recently diagnosed with Bi-Polar. He's also an alcoholic. He's two years older than me and was always the 'bad kid' growing up. This honestly fed into my BPD because all I wanted to do was be perfect so our parents would notice me and give me the love and attention I desired. Unfortunately, they were too busy disciplining him and (as I've learned this week) convincing him to keep secrets from me for the past 20 years. The parents didn't want me to be conflicted or make the same choices he was making so they kept everything a secret. This includes their discretions as well as his.  

Now my brother and I weren't really close, but we had a lot of overlap when it came to our friends so we would end up at similar hang outs on the weekends. I knew he drank. I knew he smoked. I knew he got high. I'd be blind not to. I just didn't know EVERYTHING. 

Throughout the years, I've seen him make poor decisions for himself, but I would let him do it, because I wanted him to know he could trust me when he felt he couldn't trust our parents. He would wreck cars and I knew he was probably drinking, but he would tell our parents that it was some other reason. He's also gotten a couple of DUIs which caused him to also lose his license for quite some time. 

Fast forward to about 4 years ago, he really starting to seem like he was getting his life on the right track. He was a proud father, had a job he'd been working to get for years, and in a happy relationship. He also got his license back. But then he starting stealing our vehicles. He would go out after we all went to bed and take our keys and go out and try to come back before we woke up. We even found him in the back of a sex shop one time. It then started to escalate. He totaled my parents' car. He was only about two blocks from our house when he drunkenly hit a parked car. Our neighbor, who is a local police officer, came out and arrested him as he was trying to leave a note on the car apologizing. 

He served a week in jail, had to take a anti-drinking seminar, and lost his license again. He then began going to AA. This didn't really work out for him, because he's a conflicted atheist (in the sense that he not only doesn't believe in a God. He doesn't believe in anything. So some steps seem implausible for him.) 

He was good for a few months, got a new job, got on medication. Then something would trigger him and he would start stealing our cars again . \*\*Please note that we did hide our car keys at night. Mine were on my night stand and my parents were in their room on the dresser.\*\* We also learned this week that in addition to drinking again, he also started using meth ‘recreationally’. 

The next accident happened the following winter when I woke up to find that my car was parked in the street, missing its bumper, and my parents' (now new) car was missing. He came home and claimed that he just pulled it out into the street and didn't take it anywhere. It must have been a hit-and-run, except that the damage was facing the curb, NOT the street. I was livid and, obviously, made him pay the deductible to have my car fixed. Even if his BS story was true, if he wouldn't have moved it, it wouldn't have gotten 'hit'. 

Same cycle happened again and again, with a growing number of wrecked cars. Each time he seemed to hit his lowest low and promise to change but never did. It mostly happened if we forgot to take our keys with us at night. It was as if it was permission to him to take them. 

It all came to a head two weeks ago. He snuck into my parents’ room and took their keys from the dresser. He took the car out. And got drunk. And got high. And got into an accident. But this time, he fled the scene. The car was totaled again. Unfortunately for my parents, the insurance was not covering anything, because they made my dad sign a document stating that my brother was explicitly excluded from coverage and they wouldn’t have to pay if he got into an accident and wrecked it. Even if my parents reported it stolen. 

My brother was missing for four days until we get a call from him – in the hospital. He was bitten by a dog and the bite got infected. The first day I went to visit him in the hospital, I yelled at him. I was so mad at what idiotic decisions he had been making, and that he felt he couldn’t come to me. I would always tell him that he could come to me. I felt betrayed. My parents stayed quiet as they were still in shock from the week’s events. My brother finally started being honest with us and with himself. He admitted to all the lying and drugs that he’s been using. He admitted that it was finally time he got professional help, and I’m (skeptically) hopeful that he means it. 

While in the hospital, we cleaned out his room of all the contraband and triggers that we found and from places he told us. It was refreshing that he was finally sober and wanting to be.

The hardest part is that he’s all sunshine and rainbows and optimism now. My parents still look like their broken – like they failed. They knew that I’ve been dealing with a lot of abandonment issues due to my Borderline, but they never thought that it had gotten to this point with my brother. 

I’ve been doing my best to be the rock and hold down the fort, but I keep telling them to go to therapy. That they need to find a healthy unbiased outlet that will give them tools to help work through these emotions and deal with them in the right way. They won’t, or at least my dad keeps deflecting, while my mom just says nothing and tries not to cry. 

I really don’t know what more I can do. I mean, nothing. It’s all on them. It’s their choice, but I don’t want to make them feel guilty for leaning on me when I don’t think I’m strong enough to help them through. I honestly still haven’t been able to fully work through it. My brother is being radically honest and sees me as his champion because I’ve fought for him to get sober since the beginning, and my parents have just shut down. 

I wish I could just be honest with everyone, but just like when I was a kid, I choose to make myself invisible instead of possibly inconveniencing them with what I need (emotionally). Especially when they’re going through so much. 

I don’t expect advice. I just needed to get this out. My brother has his CD eval today and then court on Tuesday from his last DUI arrest, where he may get arrested again for the hit and run – since he still has that warrant out.",4.243673432982259,5.255159262436919,4.925891377221478,85.2144086844707,70.6510454217736,8.08440377882993,27.99759920915125,8.381599198957725,1.7865302388155109,5455,190,1124,82,97,1756,471,1387,0.111,0.7929999999999999,0.096,-0.9754,16,0,8,0,0,0,165.0,25,0,23,14,56,43,4,0,71,0,117,22,4,14,16,252,247,102,1,37,34,26,4,5,2,16,9,3,9,2,64,97,8,13,37,8,4,41,27,17,2,8,102,12,157,26,164,110,26,214,1,9,5,3,188,74,1,21,101,742,221,13,0.06769673755286718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0330762342220323,0.06000907325320365,0.036173612275738114,0.03389425194285858,0.0,0.0,0.1624111696886108,0.05632910871656158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033568486498211626,0.0,0.0,0.05570864687014771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10410922501585207,0.02826197408101372,0.1031682571845673,0.0,0.02880246877858467,0.07627104108187939,0.035521774752465374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526167111119243,0.0,0.03456296899524289,0.19356758285954626,0.0,0.03477159869569445,0.035807086031933534,0.08747211768449822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107550460344243,0.03745257624486028,0.03718084370396132,0.0436587953102336,0.06979236386323526,0.0,0.034355381805514784,0.03512926282169625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09947554557698172,0.039253361634799186,0.0,0.0,0.07614971801520598,0.029979608007795307,0.03497441318536813,0.0,0.06706958503579659,0.0,0.0,0.0323435669058592,0.09126219390252137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.017114752283051184,0.0,0.09749922647528887,0.1112377004981644,0.061873591693513176,0.05758281037957441,0.0,0.07422597853975849,0.02615116575216348,0.0,0.14147500516628114,0.06494087925427466,0.0961840400580588,0.0283904058046932,0.2707163261784777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979600216913705,0.03603221797037343,0.0,0.0,0.03473819161924928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806354429355473,0.10728798005011336,0.03395267371006047,0.03361906761877069,0.0,0.03905647299902026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035328902920304814,0.06717856624325498,0.09025795622128607,0.0,0.0,0.07440871307284118,0.05518187646878711,0.0,0.03584053521561521,0.0,0.034612250371051145,0.0478162077639678,0.08268301618508918,0.0,0.0,0.029954741221095614,0.028424104842690007,0.03786766658341033,0.036949492976461606,0.05755334540920363,0.03054947434928048,0.06405628991115933,0.13556429397096292,0.0,0.0,0.0737415931737345,0.0,0.034098670513254416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03964280041822135,0.05403489005014898,0.03597545925471411,0.0248824456939064,0.0752944096698062,0.052211897372261326,0.06538193097363154,0.0719962483902172,0.0952932034358954,0.0,0.06495684547308438,0.03853659219744735,0.0,0.0,0.022936530685580617,0.05148641944078153,0.0,0.0,0.4885999019440587,0.03665448488541973,0.03231209801986599,0.0,0.0,0.03536434111331827,0.03715534444214898,0.0319976492533903,0.03815894998456534,0.03241738073449196,0.03443595975386566,0.03649426646373872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03600190667180487,0.0,0.0,0.086736527100804,0.034801760540032686,0.033421180669092644,0.036340480667496934,0.0,0.05781264398145877,0.0,0.026917581425063657,0.0,0.0,0.026972767551738837,0.09244285103472072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055999440862514994,0.0,0.033872813663557017,0.0,0.0,0.02605812796577691,0.0,0.03789047763844953,0.14374829781934612,0.036077857446906704,0.10812540411432113,0.02829875192672268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12724880419204224,0.0,0.08875489871354518,0.0,0.03870855961044139,0.0,0.0,0.043377335949420656,0.0,0.026871823909006373,0.09868628017454804,0.0,0.032084295814181256,0.0323435669058592,0.07521356630724481,0.06894246160175449,0.0,0.13225975173691693,0.0,0.12214625999497795,0.05846824565242601,0.0,0.0,0.1197878693120133,0.026867259622852174,0.1900578381122712,0.0,0.030433748555685324,0.06275555393609905,0.0,0.0,0.038923953624961885,0.0,0.0,0.09856806240548048,0.0,0.0,0.2164041901947102,0.0,0.0,0.10898619864830322
addiction,sscovtt,2020/03/11,"Four years ago I was in the darkest place of my life. Today I cleaned my house and realized how far I’ve come. In January to March of 2016, I was raped multiple times by a man who I trusted very deeply. It happened multiple times and I fell into a very dark place. I was isolated and alone, I got kicked out of my house, I lost 70 lbs, and I turned to cocaine, weed, and alcohol to numb everything out. 

I was homeless for six months and I went from couch to couch. I lied, I stole, I was abusive, I stole money, I was coked up 24/7 and I was drunk every time I could get my hands on alcohol.

Today, I cleaned my home, on a day off from my full-time job, waiting for my partner to come home after work so I can hear about his day. I’ve found true joy’s in my work, in my home, and in my life. Four years ago this never would be a possibility for me. It’s such a small thing but it truly means more then anything to me.",1.5164285714285732,2.783375693877552,3.215051020408165,93.83084183673469,77.77551020408163,6.73673469387755,22.45408163265306,7.413659706084162,0.5489653061224486,700,20,170,9,16,233,108,196,0.098,0.8590000000000001,0.044000000000000004,-0.6908,1,1,3,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,3,4,6,1,0,6,0,11,9,1,1,2,23,23,12,0,2,1,0,1,0,1,1,5,1,7,2,6,13,4,1,3,1,1,4,1,3,0,3,11,2,33,3,29,9,1,36,0,1,0,1,5,16,0,0,16,103,39,3,0.0,0.14744640752302274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206251178145612,0.26598669292687044,0.0,0.12888699277721222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024072370452744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21439587075110966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09935882350954624,0.0,0.0,0.16051284142182398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10484987580432774,0.0,0.11184271083364428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13644699353327416,0.0,0.0,0.06501712572473382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952965130029437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100458785304593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402580190024729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3744840020672144,0.0,0.0,0.2871845369273405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12349198453285712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17579769024024605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13584589461536034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355565650309394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993304290262018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09597928600290427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260036074599557,0.0,0.0,0.1402924987776782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267540981477624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176938020521232,0.0,0.2359177091148653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353599032054427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20535952466240465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11536131729821995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811941861625165,0.0,0.0,0.08840181690491976,0.0,0.0,0.16027638230963276
addiction,throwawaway1343,2020/03/11,"My memory loss makes me forget everything that had happened and it seems like everyone hates me, and i feel isolated af Quitting today. I really don't know how to quit. But it fucks up my life. I feel dumb. Wanna sleep 24/7. I have a very dear person who just saw me off home and i forgot about it and thought that she hates me. I have feeling dumb.... Hope tomorrow would go well. I think i'll quit tomorrow",0.8781707317073142,3.321634621951219,2.573853658536585,91.21443902439024,86.92682926829269,6.694634146341463,19.175609756097558,7.908726449838941,0.8995765853658542,317,9,67,7,10,104,59,82,0.20600000000000002,0.662,0.131,-0.7787,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,4,4,10,5,0,1,0,5,3,1,2,0,20,21,6,0,3,2,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,6,4,0,1,7,0,0,1,1,6,1,0,4,4,14,4,5,16,0,6,0,1,1,1,3,2,3,2,4,39,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17308955825545205,0.162799327544681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274773489356998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16746345472578805,0.0,0.0,0.10294753855276334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16018384113087106,0.0,0.0,0.3576817161250227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18170084057739608,0.17991551704951347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09955125940207908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12794640590207718,0.0884971455891766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209141209179965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581667690268842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.578002494930252,0.0,0.0,0.11604461564326175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16490545910873472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812734622300488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11606889153007148,0.0,0.14380702485493688,0.0,0.0,0.17170204528084518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14946165141536316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628689905752724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12867853647838848,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,GoodWeedReddit,2020/03/11,"21 days sober. I woke up today proud of myself that I've made it this far. They say it takes 21 days to create a habit and I'm hoping that's it's true. Lord knows it hasn't been easy fighting urges and routines I've built up for the past 13yrs.

Whoever out this is hoping to reach this point I'm positive you can. Stay active, stay social the best you can and it WILL happen. Now my goal is  to make 42 days.

Much love to you all. We are not the drugs we use. We are so much more.",-0.9125108853410744,1.0945755283018883,0.9484905660377372,102.7852612481858,90.88679245283018,4.016255442670537,11.927431059506533,5.369823440869387,-1.556959941944848,370,4,94,2,13,120,71,106,0.02,0.715,0.265,0.9801,0,0,1,0,2,0,11.0,3,3,1,3,2,7,1,0,4,0,9,2,0,3,2,16,21,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,10,7,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,1,10,6,9,17,5,13,1,0,0,1,11,5,0,2,6,53,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20674025551704736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38114778446047576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284584616290382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17420721573573472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3913326222117973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082665242697803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.177800973540698,0.18640698326577868,0.1314996081973627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28963660833360994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18805961828963336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18622949525154686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566629961621598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008175746023076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4199534240086599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14812013462855306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18673378683726932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170145497093682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,VCUIDAS,2020/03/11,"Great resource for research and recovery The 2020 COBE Town Hall- From Research to Recovery is coming up in April in Richmond, VA. It is a great 3 day conference (at low or no cost) with speakers coming from throughout the country.

If you can't make it, you can watch all of the videos from prior years on the website. They are longer talks, but, if you are interested in learning more about the science of recovery, they are excellent!

 [http://cobe.vcu.edu/programs/cobe-town-hall/](http://cobe.vcu.edu/programs/cobe-town-hall/)",9.470557491289199,12.937050585365856,6.678571428571433,68.04500000000003,61.4390243902439,8.10034843205575,32.44599303135888,8.841846274778883,2.9917993031358887,436,17,61,7,7,123,60,82,0.035,0.81,0.155,0.9159999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,3,2,1,1,5,0,0,6,0,7,0,0,1,1,11,10,5,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,1,1,2,2,1,0,0,0,2,5,4,15,10,2,15,0,1,1,0,6,9,0,3,4,43,7,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.551677372561519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.206513545031784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7060809884210235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137474074333291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573783833874438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20620932009201512
addiction,fredleam1,2020/03/11,"Faith and Family - Understanding and Coping with Addiction For those in the Washington, DC metro area (DMV), there is an event on March 28 from 9 am to 12:30 pm at Reston Bible Church. 

Here is a webpage to learn more and register if interested - [https://www.restonbible.org/event/palforum/](https://www.restonbible.org/event/palforum/)

There are 3 sessions:

1. Mental Illness and Addiction - Which do you Treat First?
2. Understanding Addiction - Will I Know It When I See It?
3. Panel discussion - Panel includes parents of addiction loved ones and recovering addicts.

I'm told there will be a recording of the event. If so, I'll post after the event.",6.584548170276327,10.492079359223306,5.600970873786409,69.01831964152356,75.79611650485437,8.217774458551158,26.369678864824497,8.841846274778883,2.8399326362957438,526,19,77,13,13,158,77,103,0.026000000000000002,0.856,0.11800000000000001,0.8677,1,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,1,0,1,6,4,0,0,6,0,8,7,0,0,0,12,15,9,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,3,4,11,11,1,12,2,0,1,1,5,4,0,2,7,48,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8415942226802278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14555462565629504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13133260344613207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848542294350995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393520730841234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15559893487357193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10462546961854843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17144298323872956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14787256754927353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12303684941274645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14753586420948292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3214717940099211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,dabhash,2020/03/11,I don’t know anymore So I’ve been smoking and doing meth for a total of 24 weeks straight every day and honestly don’t think I can stop as this is my drug of choice and honestly getting to the point of me thinking of what’s the point to continue in life as I’ve been thru rehabs and have no real social interaction with real people as this past couple weeks have been used by fake people. I can’t stop and just wanna kill myself. I don’t know what to do anymore guys,4.565757575757576,4.5594055252525285,5.7439898989898985,83.26931818181819,69.50505050505049,8.216161616161617,26.601010101010104,7.793537801064563,1.3993555555555552,373,10,78,4,6,125,62,99,0.142,0.78,0.078,-0.7579,0,0,2,0,0,1,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,3,0,13,3,0,1,1,18,19,9,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,6,0,2,4,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,3,0,7,2,16,16,1,11,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,7,52,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34953409662645585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19498871962514788,0.0,0.11365002693355597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043641184016753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14847648454277096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09206986835825497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17448965870589794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19496596167626692,0.0,0.19369641751973465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12447236030265932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16822593404801034,0.2443433358534108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3331776494168069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4011634279656344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17963837408571112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29466263517392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22583469671697576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15220112341483732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.282712838657212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,randoname2431,2020/03/11,"Healthy addiction I have always had an addictive personality. I have struggled with smoking, alcohol, pills and food at various points in my life. It seems I have always traded one addiction for another. In an effort to quit one thing I would dive head first into something else. My question is this, if I am using exercise in an effort to drive urges of a backslide into unhealthy behavior actually just prolonging my issues?",7.673200000000001,9.195627253333337,8.353333333333335,61.89000000000002,63.13333333333333,11.866666666666667,39.0,11.602472056035307,5.4474,344,18,49,11,5,115,57,75,0.078,0.8859999999999999,0.036000000000000004,-0.4767,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,1,4,0,7,9,1,1,0,10,9,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,1,3,4,2,0,2,1,1,1,0,1,0,3,1,0,8,0,11,7,1,9,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,3,1,40,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.17178671298003276,0.575718924089661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18813001084069414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29295376288977865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18459013767056834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14705632032223578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14973697758424825,0.21286463249601867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18066474302039076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837368864000508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12434013524037245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23857444667865416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15370871352484197,0.0,0.0,0.1664118599776808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197201721787074,0.1872370124615681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16025746829612894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13552187874744878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840320883697211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11695115701888875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15203944251656618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12505163013724224,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,bc-throwaway89,2020/03/11,"I’m thinking about rehab....again I’ve been once for benzos. It was mostly smooth sailing off of it, but I was young, tapered off of it, and went to some cushy place in Florida. I’m 25 now, jobless, depressed, on Medicaid, and feeding/cleaning house for my grandparents and disabled mother. I’m drinking every night but I don’t think they know the extent of it. My s/o partakes but has much greater self-control than I do and I feel like he’d be okay if I left again, maybe it’d even be a wake-up call for him.   

Thing is- I don’t want to tell anyone I’m going until I’ve gone. I know he’d try to talk me out of it, suggest cutting back like we’ve tried before. I’m just so tired of being tired. My stomach hurts. My head hurts. I have diarrhea almost every morning. It all just fucking sucks. I want to rip it off like a band aid.   

One of the people I trust most just stopped drinking without rehab or inpatient intervention and I respect the fuck out of her for it, but I don’t think I realistically could do that myself. Honestly if I were going to tell anyone about this it would be her, but she’s kind of who got me into this mess to begin with (in a way.)   
 
I don’t want to hurt anyone by leaving abruptly, but that’s how I did it the first time. I decided the night before, they set me up, and I left the next morning. I was 18 and it was the first time I’d ever flown alone. My mom refused to take me so I had to have a friend of a friend drive me to the airport.  I honestly believe that if I don’t do it this way then I won’t do it until it almost kills me. 


It’s a relief to think about to be honest.
I know what would be ahead of me and I’ve done it before. 

—*I’m sorry if this is rambling. It’s 3am, I didn’t really review it, and if it sounds normal at all it’s because I’m used to typing out shit when I’m drunk. (Thank you autocorrect, I think?) *—",0.19753737214791656,2.0530631215880892,2.620089572111602,93.78484355141322,84.03722084367246,5.122774314591782,19.75482660533801,6.219705907916566,-0.061918549900139126,1430,40,332,12,41,491,191,403,0.15,0.723,0.127,-0.917,2,1,2,0,0,0,57.0,0,1,2,3,15,25,6,0,14,1,37,11,3,2,3,59,68,28,1,12,16,2,2,3,2,3,3,1,0,0,31,14,3,2,10,4,0,5,8,11,0,3,13,3,48,14,49,42,8,43,0,4,0,2,21,15,4,11,23,220,79,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183800809896814,0.09505225570089593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19251573503008174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07057007744227198,0.0,0.05594579652660425,0.0,0.2342838439445324,0.10340012184187104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937135550959196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029345855913792,0.07327566649564478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904653256820066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09391870986604256,0.0,0.17981107704044386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060617181097083764,0.08301664443610082,0.15465047310689073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046404702132258516,0.06556479128526224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561292339737035,0.0,0.0,0.14181181673803575,0.1696908625233333,0.0,0.0,0.10431682924658063,0.0,0.07340164947109581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418865129009013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105897179572442,0.29474431193970274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10153654400501712,0.0955705790114536,0.15131306499872574,0.0,0.0,0.09717753043895297,0.19942978064795755,0.0,0.0,0.13451135046571913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09220132549029142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748693961045007,0.0,0.0,0.06746591838733725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09760481501379073,0.1722511140306568,0.08992099211814393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977384425901952,0.06218979140386504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06362592131442961,0.0,0.09588638434996682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0587940543563306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09574238148089788,0.0,0.09420674305649017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027357159123186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672884375748203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06900412880723375,0.07376607075277554,0.1604325348278456,0.0844950084337219,0.0,0.0,0.0609718950264769,0.29403176872404563,0.0,0.0,0.10703064491504484,0.2109660177365022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12461975656959302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926499545025388,0.0,0.0,0.1623955843049716,0.1456950307300902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08507726957969114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08846878700596328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13039007154732632,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,fvckmi,2020/03/11,"Just looking for support or something Hi. I’m not too sure why but I’m unable to post in naranon otherwise I would post there. And I’m sorry if this is the wrong place I’m just looking for I don’t know honestly. 

So I recently broke up with my boyfriend who had three years sober until he relapsed back in August. I moved far away to go to school and it got really bad. I broke up with him about a month ago. We still kept in contact and he called me basically telling me that he took a lot of GHB trying to OD. I called his mom and she called paramedics. 

He was going to treatment when we found out his best friend died of an OD. This was last Monday. 

I hadn’t had any contact with anyone and thought things must have been ok since I hadn’t heard from anyone. 

Today I found out our really good friend died in a motorcycle accident. I called his mom to tell her. And then she tells me that my bf was not ok and he took something but it turned out to be something else and he was in the hospital unconscious and woke up Sunday and has been on a 24/7 watch. She said that no one thought he was going to make it and that everyone was coming in to say goodbye. 

I’m just grieving the loss of my two friends. And scared and worried for my bf. I’m also very upset that no one told me about his state and feel like I deserved to know. She said that they thought it was better if we weren’t in contact. I don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong and it’s all confusing and I just don’t know how to feel.",1.6443420459666491,3.324563608832811,2.7843476791347435,95.2648856466877,78.52681388012618,6.0427670121676424,21.73152320865255,6.868970318607317,0.2845043713384405,1172,33,273,12,28,375,159,317,0.17800000000000002,0.708,0.114,-0.9721,1,0,3,0,0,0,21.0,4,0,1,3,14,22,0,3,8,2,23,0,0,2,3,58,58,28,5,4,11,2,2,1,5,2,0,4,0,0,17,27,0,1,11,0,0,7,10,10,0,4,28,9,36,12,39,27,3,42,0,4,3,0,46,18,0,5,15,169,53,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08056712128434937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07268345544472472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061807258290170676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12710262593953595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08539268455031948,0.06988760285698949,0.0758880539251991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09538181410140116,0.08038344232117185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3712290510786423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829234627848122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18865570987529226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592563200943753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868478027206898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191185587033318,0.06493072221004909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19930897416893464,0.2106605580117868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549619909298494,0.07623291425039634,0.07269179109914184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997996464786899,0.07408621218661145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04440350255056984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526468034323667,0.0,0.0,0.07727010447800597,0.0,0.0,0.06066874180898791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21289489313522006,0.07254628849020632,0.0966000316920403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231767230792034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949590788578195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17409201000899052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11645092849922765,0.0,0.08974137311107998,0.0,0.0,0.07761823415885594,0.17291144606063644,0.07227813828098659,0.090995187579275,0.09198395714322873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518385969383609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099110926846147,0.0,0.10174217137259048,0.0,0.0,0.0725836283993332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313912862810902,0.08566128239572249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383215171166666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060382243289079825,0.0,0.0,0.2164658154483013,0.0,0.0,0.08615161714886455,0.0868478027206898,0.2019608099373786,0.061707287074999326,0.09886052727465948,0.08878480271029059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07499248451066576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201268348246862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230162622316347,0.0,0.06456454255876616,0.19874449016136236,0.0,0.058529177731297635
addiction,alaskasbarbiegirl,2020/03/11,"Well meth we had a nice little run you and I but it’s time to cut ties... Cross posting side I really need all the advice, tips, tricks and secrets to getting through this! Just smoked the last little bit I had left and threw everything away. This will be the first time I go through detox for meth. If anyone has some good tips, advice or secrets that’ll help me get through it I would greatly appreciate it! I’ve spent hours digging through and reading posts on reddit, drugs-forum, google and anything else I could find. I’ve already started taking a bunch of vitamins plus forcing food and water down. But any other advice if y’all have any would be amazing! Thank you!",2.881,5.347857099999999,3.0146153846153863,91.26038461538462,78.0,5.230769230769232,24.615384615384606,6.297961479604792,0.6971538461538467,533,19,103,4,13,162,92,130,0.032,0.7879999999999999,0.18,0.9685,0,0,4,0,0,0,17.0,1,3,0,1,2,8,2,0,5,0,11,4,0,0,1,23,20,12,0,6,6,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,7,8,2,0,3,1,1,4,0,2,1,1,4,0,11,6,12,9,4,19,0,0,0,0,7,7,0,4,6,62,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45014218173252335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16944636864920146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20883868544373724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736580966365676,0.0,0.12635866019471248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14426538631011007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16763695494631392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12259727124205733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282714168123642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13800094115649306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14034202205719964,0.13060964820720145,0.18567340689388204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16044719364231,0.0,0.08726606813610184,0.1287905501717568,0.0,0.16928954234964236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10292140446448003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512159316043569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12516383666397213,0.0,0.0,0.1668326477337114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3077951058263645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385546362554337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29411712735943724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15359166646514658,0.0,0.0983681346627088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10868356074094752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545057589759505,0.0,0.0,0.14136831451631512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17907261214255865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380599927750127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21815519030057465,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,alreadyused13,2020/03/11,"Im drug fucked at 17 needing something.. I'm only 17 probably gonna get judged as fuck but I'm lost and I'm confused what do I do I've had enough.. I literally go nowhere or see anyone I sit in a room all day everyday I don't speak to people I don't communicate with anyone except my dealer and doctor... I can't go out the front of my house beacuse of drug induced anxiety I can't even get on a train or a bus.. the doctors gave me a physical addiction to benzos I smoke weed everyday i do MDMA all the time and drink alcohol daily and can't go without it.. my main addictions are the benzos and alcohol.. But I literally talk to no one or see anyone and it makes me feel lonely asf.. I was homeless basically all of last year I have no job the 200 a week I get from Centrelink only just gets me enough drugs to last a week.. The first thing I do when I get money is think how much drugs I can get.. I've been to hospital 3 times in the past 2 weeks beacuse of drugs... My mum just looks at me like a junkie so does the rest of my family so they don't talk to me and they don't let me see or ring my little sister n brother... 

People don't understand that I'm in physical pain until I have a dose I feel  agitated sick and angry until I have a dose of benzos and I didn't even decide to start taking these pills my doctor gave them to me so now I get looked at like a pill junkie... I really want a job and I want to be clean.. But I just can't do this I feel so alone beacuse I see absultley no one my anxiety is fucked up my whole life right now is just fucked nothing else except drugs realeases dopamine in my brain.. I can now see why people commit suicide I now understand..but I really want to get on track and get a job and start communicating with people.. it's been 8 days since I've walked to my mailbox... I sit in a room daily every day alone all I do is drugs and play music.. I take any and every drug to make me feel something.. I smoked buscopan tablet's last week and went delirious for 30 hours in hospital I even snorted heroin I've done PCP 2cb ketamine every time I have lsd or shrooms I have a bad trip beacuse of how mentally fucked I am.. only 4 years ago I was thinking to myself I'm never even gonna smoke tobacco now look at me I'm the biggest junkie I no and I've takin more drugs than anyone I no fuckin useless..

Also sorry for my language but please is there anyone out there that can give me some advice or help please I'm at the lowest point in my life I just don't no what to do and I have no help or support so I'll  listen to any suggestions... All I want is to be clean off the drugs and to have a job and communicate with people.. there's alot more to this than it sounds and I'm also in alot more physical and mental pain than it sounds.. I don't need professional help I just need to no what to do so I can do it.. like step by step from where I am to a job.. thanks guys and sorry that once again my drug use has wasted another person's time..",0.4060021678684223,2.3406803483670298,2.817321504312176,92.21611279984924,83.77449455676516,6.012055233517129,18.918162967152078,7.229369725052465,0.256608294453085,2316,59,533,34,66,796,250,643,0.17300000000000001,0.75,0.077,-0.9967,6,4,21,0,0,2,60.0,0,0,3,2,31,19,6,1,29,0,51,35,1,6,7,79,115,47,1,7,20,3,4,3,0,2,27,5,5,2,16,27,3,0,9,2,1,9,22,13,0,3,11,18,75,6,64,99,17,71,0,3,8,6,19,26,6,11,37,326,91,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10201264406116542,0.0,0.045721136578044975,0.04147514217782453,0.10000525793100072,0.0,0.09691745714647387,0.0,0.07483342089153501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363550749589264,0.04906177447918125,0.07158607980152842,0.0,0.0,0.16357787761250014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03906640545139425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05223138949263037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905240480134131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14366989843136246,0.040944892148099765,0.047880833924325794,0.0,0.045834873210074366,0.5968572861242576,0.0,0.03908575027049308,0.0,0.0,0.09668996242141993,0.0,0.12361333264521965,0.0,0.1182638735622167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044107991174309684,0.0,0.09463059444796867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03979823580035139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21627586288568126,0.22000532886958246,0.0448837493100293,0.07977287140855999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04632792637984859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09408394509912328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04607720321865305,0.05398759496797433,0.0,0.0,0.05053956018584234,0.0,0.23215160934789614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144165064435441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04784436510714379,0.0660961387304573,0.06857542700247977,0.04689432353587932,0.0,0.0,0.11787155432183137,0.0,0.05107512552747048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06246331387208931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943035154697425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03439489786927083,0.10407913926862257,0.03608614080326451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04489478432789037,0.0,0.0,0.04982817741383205,0.06341013581306759,0.1067541848641791,0.0995724296005924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04466487438601458,0.16218611691342608,0.04085387406720198,0.0,0.10271934624965416,0.0442302132059563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0504458678730944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05994776453783219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039957084800987926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18642170400091246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03870389335711817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07204007685360113,0.0,0.10475168917270213,0.06623421833474552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05117897554117292,0.053094984104622885,0.0,0.0,0.0703581903163799,0.07521357539943681,0.0,0.04307652300611844,0.0,0.0,0.031084170384986363,0.0599603052760504,0.0,0.0,0.10913089716202863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974168631813994,0.0,0.04041020248871915,0.0,0.0,0.11038817168933547,0.0,0.15012350500410046,0.0,0.0,0.043373366406868986,0.042219303030764564,0.05223763893694445,0.0,0.04510240083324058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06026046181764937
addiction,Mrgrim101,2020/03/12,I'm fighting addiction I'm fighting a porn addiction and every little thing triggers it. I don't know how to tell my family. I haven't watched it in a while but it's hard to let go of it. I used to be happy and confident about myself. But everyday I just watched and watched until it did not feel right. I'm tired of it. I don't know if I can fight alone.,-0.3097435897435936,1.7416711025641052,2.313076923076924,93.91525641025645,87.97435897435898,6.030769230769232,21.48717948717949,7.3871296695380915,0.7522717948717954,278,10,65,5,9,96,48,78,0.188,0.6940000000000001,0.11800000000000001,-0.3612,0,1,0,0,5,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,3,0,2,0,7,4,0,3,0,14,15,9,0,1,5,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,1,5,8,1,8,12,0,7,0,0,3,1,4,3,0,1,3,42,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5257289936958522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.249735303334684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031602644640748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273134867488744,0.0,0.12192127664621015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13703827859059264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256684639233309,0.2160028202870821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650346654571913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24656914006379585,0.0,0.0,0.24167303719511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059215127376557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21075600707499373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16019435401136092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.277140516257307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20825668508995646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,tmgrnfn1,2020/03/12,"So I've almost ruined my life a thousand times in the last 41 years. I got drunk for the first time when I was 14. From that night on, I knew I could feel different. I could actually have feelings that weren't bad, negative, anxious. I had found the secret to life. The actual ability to control and change your fucking feelings. Alcohol definitely opened the door of curiosity of other substances. And I thought illegal drugs must be illegal because they feel so good. I couldn't wait to try anything and everything.
  So maybe a year later I had the opportunity to smoke pot. Bought a joint off of a kid on the school bus. Smoked it at my parents house and mowed the yard. I now understood that illegal drugs were fucking awesome. I never looked back. When I had a chance to try something new, I jumped on it.
Throughout the years cocaine, MDMA weed, Xanax, pills whatever. I never really cared for opiates or pain pills. Just not my cup of tea.
  So eventually I got into selling cocaine. And if you have ever sold coke, you already know. Cocaine sells itself. Easiest fucking money I've ever made. I still have bad financial habits from  my attitudes on money that I gained while selling cocaine. Money is free right? 
  Well, cocaine and that lifestyle never lasts forever. I got an 8 year sentence for Possession for resale. Did 5 and a half years in the state penitentiary system. It was actually good for me. I never wanted to go back to that place so I grew up in there. It's been 10 years since I got out and I didn't. So I never sold drugs again, I would partake in alcohol and marijuana, cocaine whenever it was around once a year maybe. But the prices for a gram now verses when I sold it, I couldn't but coke on principle. $100 a gram? Fuck you. I got ounces for $800 when I was in the game.
  So around 3 years ago, was hanging out with a friend and they said they had a few lines. Awesome! So she cracked out these tiny little lines and I didn't have the heart to tell her what a cheap fuck she was, but whatever its free. I snorted one and it burned like fuck. It had been a year or two since I had put anything up my nose so I didn't think anything of it. I got zoned into my phone watching porn, because let's be honest, stimulants and sex go together like peanut butter and jelly. I wasn't paying much attention to the time but I felt good as fuck. So my mouth all the sudden was extremely dry. I got up to get some water and my legs were stiff. What the fuck is going on? I looked at the time, I had been sitting there for 3 hours and I was still fucking going hard. I asked my friend for another line because surely it's about to wear off. She gave me a pill cracker with a little bit of powder in it. I asked her if I could cut the lines out she agreed. Well, she wasn't looking very hard and I cut out 4 real lines. One way bigger than the others. I did it real quick and told her to come and get it. She said, ""Those are kind of big."" And then she looked in the pill grinder and was like, ""WHAT THE FUCK? Where did it all go?"" I mean, I've never let anyone have access to the shit I was sharing. She should have been smarter. I told her may have taken liberties. She says, ""You know that's not cocaine right?"" I said, ""Well what the fuck is it?"" ""That's methamphetamine you dumb fuck."" I immediately asked if she could get more. New drug? Let's do it. She says sure, I give her 100 bucks and she's off. She comes back around a half hour later with my new drug and I crack outs some old school cocaine train tracks. I have done a shit load of cocaine and that all I had to go on. She asked me, are you sure? Fuck yeah I'm sure. 

####4 DAYS LATER

  Im finally able to go to sleep. So I did that for a few weekends until my friend went to jail and I didn't see her or methamphetamine again for 2 years. 

####2 YEARS LATER

  The young wanna be gangster that lives across the street come over to ask about something and I'm smoking a bowl of pot. I ask if he wants to hit it and he does. After we get high he tells me he has Ice to sale. Well ok. That was as easy. I got a gram December 31rst. Though I'd have some fun for the weekend.

####5 MONTHS LATER

WTF just happened. How did 5 months go by in 2 weeks? My work was suffering every relationship I had was suffering and I was an wreck of a human beings emotionally. I had some sort of moment of clarity and made a decision to quit. I never looked back. It was actually pretty easy.

####January 2020

Guy I work with tells me he's got ice. I jumped on it. I forgot about the bad times. I just remembered quiting fairly easy. 

  Well just like the last time almost 2 months went by in a heartbeat. I've been seeing a girl since September and we've drank and smoked a little weed before and I didn't really know her stance on harder things. So we hanging out one Saturday and I offered her some ice. I figured we snort a little, fuck for 6 hours straight and in her mind I would be an absolute porn star. Win-win right? Well she wasn't to happy. Now I want to say this girl is the most fascinating human being I've ever met and the most absolutely gorgeous woman on the planet. I want to marry her but I'm probably not good enough for her. I'm definitely not good enough for her. So I tell her it's no big deal I just came across it and figured we would try it.  I threw it away and that was that. So my dumbass continues to mess around with it on the weekends and now it's creeping into the weekdays quickly. I eventually tell my girl the truth and she advised me to leave it alone if I want to keep seeing her. Well, she a fucking dime piece and worth it so I do. For a few weeks. Then what do I do? I get high at my house and post some shit on /r/Stims because I was spun out. She knew my user on Reddit. She saw it. Game over. I'm like holy shit how fucking dumb can you be to let her walk out of your life for fucking meth? But what does she do? She tells me she loves me and just wants me to be ok so we can be together. This girl is a real sweetheart. I mean real life fucking sweet heart. This was 3 weeks ago.

#### Last Weekend

I got a fifth of Jack Daniels and some pot because I'm in an active addiction. I can quit anything if I have something to replace it with. I haven't been doing anything for a few weeks and decide it's time to unwind. Cue Sunday, me and gf hadn't had too good of a weekend, didn't get to see each other, had some hard news to accept. Sunday my coworker calls and says he's got an even better deal on dope. Well I've got Jack Daniels whispering in my ear that is indeed a good idea. Went and picked up and was a nervous wreck. I had promise gf the entire world. I would never do this shit again, that I chose her over dope because she is totally worth it. And I meant every word of it. So now how the fuck did this happen? So I work at the same company as gf and she's not there Monday which was actually good  since I was spun and had no sleep the night before.

####TUESDAY MORNING.
  I see gf walking in the door at work. She takes one look at me and gives me the eye. I knew right away that she fucking knew. How this girl knows me so well and sees completely through my bullshit that has yet to fail me is beyond me. She loves me. I asked her what was wrong and she immediately says ""I think you are on drugs."" Oh no baby, not me. I spew line after line of bullshit and it's not working. I can see her not buying any of it. I feel terrible. I've told her all these lies and she isn't buying it and I feel so trapped. If I tell her the truth, I'm going to lose her. If I continue lying to her she's going to resent you and leave you later. And I feel terrible about lying to this sweet woman that actually loves me for me and all my flaws.

####Yesterday

I drive around the part of the state i live into customers homes. I was going to a vacant home and I had one line left of this shit. I have never been able to dispose of any drug of any amount. So I was glad this was it. I had maybe 5 or 6 hours of sleep since Sunday morning. My hope was that I'd do this line I could get some distance from all this with gf and I could hide all this. When I went back to the office yesterday afternoon I could tell something was going on with gf. So I asked her, hey what's going on. Again she says, ""I think you are still on drugs."" It's almost like she has a 6th Sense. Oh no baby, not me. I left the office a little while after that and all the guilt and shame of the lies and deception hit me. What was I doing to this woman? I finally decided that she deserved better than my piece of shit ass and I'd tell her the truth. And if she left she'd be better off and my punishment of a life without her would be just. So I texted her because I'm such a pussy. I told her she deserved better than what I could offer her and she should never talk to me again and that I lied to her about doing drugs and that I was sorry. She said Thanks for telling me and that was about all. I couldn't called out if work today because I just didn't want to see the disappointment and anger on her face. She did reach out to me and said, ""I've yet to say what I'm doing in this relationship."" So she is very angry at me and rightfully so. I've violated her trust I've lied about drug usage and I'm really sick of all this shit. Drugs and alcohol have ruined every major relationship I've ever had. Got me locked up in prison for 5 years. Taken untold amounts of money from me and now is about to drive the nicest, sweetest, most beautiful woman I've ever had the privilege of knowing away from me because I'm a fucking drug addict and I'll finally admit it. 

####I AM POWERLESS OVER THIS SHIT.

Now what the fuck do I do?",0.7173228183474087,2.8555069259811248,2.4648515896671657,93.98977283076671,84.06209637357179,5.496282497102169,19.10583291935751,6.796118183907888,0.07733431031627758,7474,197,1681,89,216,2460,571,2013,0.122,0.7140000000000001,0.16399999999999998,0.9981,4,2,36,0,1,0,260.0,5,13,3,19,102,119,39,3,97,3,162,86,22,9,34,292,330,142,0,38,38,1,11,6,10,9,30,14,5,13,101,118,9,5,37,10,23,32,42,57,9,10,127,48,270,64,214,165,40,267,0,7,17,29,181,104,34,32,131,1104,371,11,0.0432107833972044,0.0,0.1265024740956883,0.047106132054135635,0.0,0.0,0.038303752292141766,0.06926877931986128,0.06490403668135583,0.02237666995453756,0.02384208699150616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04407722170649928,0.02265513700478955,0.0,0.024407942889172973,0.0,0.0151069922260412,0.0,0.08889698234635786,0.0961668961039784,0.16158499779759114,0.0,0.060896930120522164,0.08306606297492593,0.054118798831556084,0.11853401620925065,0.0,0.03676919404644051,0.0,0.0,0.0764328528555219,0.023587491987483503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04412304110375782,0.024710812361178603,0.022028136760599688,0.0,0.022855639644416097,0.05583339562867223,0.022652842136205626,0.0,0.024232283933727623,0.13800117779688667,0.0,0.0,0.013933690276138621,0.0445484203033859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022573035851824817,0.0,0.0,0.03781404774322431,0.022109816939447937,0.0,0.0,0.3006647413498472,0.0,0.0,0.024303157654706628,0.0,0.04464829021980735,0.0,0.014270157451624703,0.09771656861702001,0.05461042301692632,0.0,0.019417532935004773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647034648538814,0.0,0.02074456420852169,0.07100295162784695,0.0,0.01837753514171157,0.0,0.02368919682888916,0.05007681609554608,0.43942440257570986,0.07901547803003661,0.04145172084384468,0.15962494598391522,0.14497261996737087,0.2246374706090486,0.0,0.0,0.02139273457646021,0.0382111530523442,0.022999341213788216,0.05806256169159781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05120498637749758,0.0,0.04565456509578071,0.04334393893932166,0.021459028919321117,0.08510783499354062,0.04985944244954088,0.0,0.024389857410405814,0.023337530538320085,0.0,0.0,0.019203864849501737,0.0,0.022498690726844003,0.05936879123872741,0.07044511147031075,0.0,0.045753980473058516,0.07042296389116266,0.08837190728757381,0.0763026355203223,0.06333181832069155,0.108271392110276,0.038155913397982105,0.0,0.10885852541928474,0.02417090686557017,0.0,0.0,0.05849912861639674,0.04088708804346814,0.0,0.0,0.0651165597697971,0.04706921079478301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02181528661074396,0.0,0.05173565257909212,0.0,0.015882448846702996,0.0,0.16663410008111212,0.06259986580268162,0.0,0.040550393039531965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02267122416960726,0.023009037035306268,0.07320186283452441,0.0,0.02298966006068956,0.0,0.02399023065557308,0.023396533779535038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022573035851824817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.020691992965376087,0.02198045063600137,0.023294266465543816,0.0,0.0,0.02171938610632425,0.0,0.06893998059508441,0.0,0.09836666310083912,0.041522901479391736,0.0,0.0,0.06958831527651646,0.02447469707511487,0.0922544323037582,0.102758375451433,0.120270322589577,0.0,0.04373161971159623,0.13773359939434385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995986169071442,0.08936101638520566,0.0,0.06486298456229685,0.0,0.0,0.06653154429407986,0.0,0.024185467147113882,0.0,0.0,0.05176228115797776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08145130394649809,0.0,0.01624456573317611,0.01736559544964451,0.18884064640765366,0.019891341900152737,0.0,0.0,0.014353662219268346,0.0415315878389504,0.02122718764731138,0.017152267663018486,0.08818794351788761,0.0,0.020479385078132174,0.08257951058693982,0.0,0.0440059282445779,0.0,0.02110532830333526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03565342170202149,0.08920393860162631,0.01714935428214518,0.06932216801392511,0.0,0.17483257656248802,0.08011365823904476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02082682660725181,0.0,0.0943738948533337,0.0,0.0,0.07673925186857926,0.023622104151211715,0.0,0.1669579667196969
addiction,sadpeanutt,2020/03/12,"Can one go to drug rehab if they’re not ready to quit alcohol? // If this is wrong subreddit, I’m sorry. I couldn’t find one dedicated to relatives of addicts. //

My younger sister is nearly 20 and has been using alcohol since she was 15. For ~2 years she had an addiction to that but last summer she started using drugs (ecstasy, amphetamine, tranquilizers + weed together, cocaine) and is now severely addicted to these. 

We managed to find her a rehabilitation clinic that seems perfect for her and she’s willing to go – as long as she does not have to quit alcohol. She personally feels like she has no problem with it *anymore* and says that she can continue controlling it after she gets back from rehab and I want to believe her, but I also know that she was severely addicted to it only less than a year ago. The only reason for her being able to control it, in my opinion, is her addiction to drugs. She just simply switched the target. 

The rehab lasts for 27-35 days and she would stay there 24/7. After that she would continue visiting the clinic once-twice/week for 11 months. This costs €6200 (roughly $7K) that we need to pay from our own pocket. We can afford that but only once and I’m scared that she will throw this chance away just because “drinking is fun” and “I like dancing”. 

No matter how much I try to educate myself on this subject I don’t seem to understand her reasoning. I know that addiction is a disease but does she really not see the problem that she has with alcohol? If she’s willing to let go of drugs (which seem to be way bigger problem to begin with), why can’t she go all in and let go of alcohol as well? 

Tl;dr: 20-year-old sister is willing and motivated to go to rehab for drugs, but not for alcohol, but she was an alcoholic before she started using drugs last summer. Does it make sense to go to rehab now or should we wait until she’s all in?",3.589396396396399,5.335522840540545,5.134054054054059,80.220990990991,73.29729729729729,8.392792792792793,27.46846846846847,9.029198982220553,2.3402414414414414,1481,56,281,32,30,499,185,370,0.095,0.8270000000000001,0.077,-0.7087,1,0,15,0,0,0,51.0,5,0,0,6,9,11,0,1,10,0,33,27,0,10,3,67,61,26,0,12,16,2,2,2,0,7,26,1,0,1,21,17,8,3,12,2,2,10,9,5,1,2,5,4,42,6,50,44,5,41,0,0,1,0,37,7,0,8,24,198,63,3,0.06097088398518905,0.0,0.0,0.3988035791060685,0.0,0.0,0.05404700988023947,0.456115327852185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048758393894782016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06046673354805297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05728415254285401,0.04688284627654568,0.0,0.037167284966086137,0.0,0.051881731553598,0.06869330731929636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13676806169777098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0393211761750641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16006809435292654,0.0,0.0,0.0597282544475258,0.4242412106896542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03082871091299635,0.043557611701577716,0.0,0.0,0.11145256676353296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0318547704018272,0.0,0.2425581091034903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670160066237826,0.1490982243702358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469371955726075,0.0,0.05957458831370897,0.0,0.0,0.05395731368506482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04069853850678695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04866637790081429,0.0,0.044820615128939235,0.045209137915751915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06397868633581716,0.06493200156983678,0.08263089785448811,0.13911331417197895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05323742413923994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17502270502824785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970008034540806,0.0,0.0,0.039059509529623886,0.12537644684632482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048486494137114484,0.06104249132588375,0.0,0.04858590060923513,0.16651680862158044,0.0,0.1377594884622402,0.0,0.050435745288278634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06825191286162538,0.0863110110002689,0.06498684989396132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04139522799200626,0.0,0.0,0.06347284048229387,0.0,0.15797780297939704,0.0,0.0,0.03596220707559745,0.048395849746395776,0.048907165425890665,0.0,0.054820147011486665,0.0,0.055016739382284234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08662393328591315,0.06666209026808627,0.0,0.11778975083252342
addiction,jsteve1212,2020/03/12,"Addicted to nitrous oxide Hello out there,

I know I'm not the only person with this addiction as I've watched stores go from stocking small amounts to huge amounts of whippits as us addicts feed them our coin. I've seen other people buying huge bulk amounts that aren't for ""casual use."" I remember doing my first whippit at a psych party at least 8 years ago. I just did one and it flipped my world upside down for 30 seconds and I loved it.

I started doing them on my own by myself not too long after. First it was just a box or two at a time. But now I can go on multi-hour binges where I huff down 600 of the things in a day. When I'm done, there's whippits all over my room or car (if I'm hiding out from my roommates) and I shamefully find a dumpster to take them to and hope no one sees me dumping all those little clinky canisters. Sometimes I can still hear one I missed rolling around under my car seat. I have a pounding headache and for some reason these things make me lose weight (dehydration?).

I had a really bad weekend and huffed on Sunday, then had to leave work early on Monday to go huff, and then took a sick day Tuesday to do more. Spent yesterday resting and now I'm back at work and my feet are on FIRE. Long term use of nitrous causes neuropathy through b12 deficiency. I've been addicted to these things for 8 fucking years and never gone more than a couple months without them. But I binge so hard now, it messes up my sinuses (feels like I have bubbles in my ears) and causes this horrible neuropathy. It cuts me off socially and takes me a couple days after a binge to reintegrate into society.

This stuff is pure evil. It was such a wonderful interesting trip the first while that I was using them, but now my life is living hell. I want to quit, I've wanted to quit for years. But as soon as the fire stops in my feet, and the pain and anxiety of life ramps up again, as it always does, I will just want to escape into hours of huffing nos. It's ruined so many relationships because I say or do stupid shit while high. I just want it to stop, I want a normal life.",4.6619933612858135,5.0856553915094365,5.3122746331236925,84.94621243885399,69.37735849056604,8.356953179594687,27.49615653389239,8.285830014693849,1.6388432215234108,1642,50,343,22,27,531,231,424,0.149,0.797,0.055,-0.9905,0,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,2,0,5,8,21,19,7,1,18,0,21,18,4,7,4,61,53,34,0,8,15,0,5,1,0,1,10,3,1,1,22,20,2,2,6,2,4,8,6,14,0,8,12,11,43,5,61,40,12,81,1,3,3,2,14,32,3,7,42,231,65,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.375169120003623,0.0,0.0,0.07626599984777327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07158910417889418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06581754352809814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659055883286411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661566135649902,0.07183672715176598,0.05244693750582584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17676598534646368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19039508656546306,0.0,0.1664589117599719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07529095680842972,0.0880450188001122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04350254467374815,0.06146435880103075,0.0,0.0,0.07863563089481204,0.21954733024019127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953918448402808,0.0,0.0,0.14668925720897408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707163669604235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09696917705338068,0.0,0.0,0.09090208781867297,0.0,0.08545347118016232,0.1694568741244004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04728330727539898,0.0,0.0,0.0911000322156215,0.0,0.0,0.18230997562621964,0.042032996398249145,0.08623098761939903,0.07597164014657531,0.15227885821657502,0.0,0.09625262638868433,0.0,0.0,0.07765113106283121,0.0,0.057429906639443015,0.08722731688524601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06867336375868964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635650812741475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08429731895656334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749012958484458,0.06543449255856329,0.09154870245172377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05964674606682247,0.07512358945103446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18302041740695166,0.0,0.0,0.05511706483746728,0.08845965852027808,0.0,0.09237080137401944,0.09746237022256166,0.0,0.0,0.06841952890038118,0.0,0.0,0.06855980185913357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831503834897725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08770318572858841,0.0,0.0,0.08509211295016282,0.0,0.06089694477450061,0.0,0.06870871025560288,0.14386041930886748,0.0,0.0,0.09849099374124333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12937719921374086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17147610901623733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05016846567193126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955895088120292,0.0,0.0,0.08404497569286935,0.0,0.1034910904986715,0.22292325004982985,0.0,0.0,0.25373223101800874,0.0,0.0,0.10476905023955846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08293593498327483,0.0933027107824012,0.12527092029387996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16621369320834434
addiction,Clancyreddit,2020/03/12,"Ended up in the Cocaine subreddit Bad idea, I've got the urge now. Real bad.",-2.061875000000001,-1.5156734374999967,1.4574999999999996,91.7375,127.125,4.1000000000000005,16.5,5.985473137389443,0.17192500000000033,59,2,12,1,4,21,14,16,0.35,0.65,0.0,-0.7906,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,5,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6412015086518642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34008540642431223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3070976504768344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4334578844598425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4370444337947682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,dontfwitdrugs,2020/03/12,"Dope sick HELP I stopped using opiates for a while but I used last night. Will I get dopesick again? I’m afraid and so disappointed In myself, I can’t believe I relapsed",0.6714705882352945,3.1945926176470607,1.6384705882352968,95.42711764705885,93.41176470588236,3.896470588235295,24.44705882352941,5.6839178017228535,0.4269599999999998,135,6,28,1,5,42,29,34,0.273,0.6609999999999999,0.067,-0.7827,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,2,0,5,6,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,6,0,2,5,0,6,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,16,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41931513934419307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944467082904208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24946186787610844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3033732841792928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3492621604083517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3111559758226414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6428814980154303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,blackkkwolfie,2020/03/12,"Withdrawal with severe hallucinations I am taking amphetamine since not that much (2 months) but I tried to stop and now I am 3 days sober. I have never imagined how hard it would be? I thought that 2 months are not that much. That thing now is a complete nightmare...So many hallucinations! I am absolutely panicked and afraid of everything. My bf is trying to help me but I am just too scared. The hallucinations I am experiencing are mainly visual. My body is killing me. I have bipolar disorder and my psychiatrist is doubting about a psychosis, but I have never experienced before such severe effects and symptoms. What do u think is best for me to do? Thank you in advance...",3.046186666666668,6.002639911999999,4.4632000000000005,77.90626666666667,81.88,6.8533333333333335,26.73333333333333,8.021203637495839,2.1224133333333333,539,23,95,11,15,178,80,125,0.21100000000000002,0.682,0.107,-0.9485,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,3,7,6,1,3,3,0,19,3,1,2,2,21,23,8,1,1,6,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,7,5,0,1,4,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,1,3,17,2,8,20,4,10,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,8,75,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15257707124450304,0.0,0.1881716598254889,0.0,0.0,0.19916968232004584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18800000370641348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11563819708836115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20550138448401348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611495918172573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16062387444351905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018571887782685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19837665603918395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18178917947048426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28624231249928284,0.0,0.2636225886441663,0.0,0.27658526240991405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795176118659328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40513179988981796,0.0,0.14832462355596973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499087013007867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18636865386624127,0.1348165673730215,0.0,0.0,0.16508181748096687,0.0,0.0,0.1191236196410918,0.1148927011852614,0.0,0.14234974864663935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24347539919687874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273745656194012,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,throwaway654326579,2020/03/12,"Adderall I have no idea what to do.. I abuse the hell out of adderall when I get my prescription. I just keep taking it and taking it with no self control.

The problem is.. when I don't have it or when I try quitting I literally cannot focus at all at work or in my day to day life. I don't want to do anything, I sleep 13 hours, I have no motivation.

So I feel like if I could control myself it would be a good thing for me, I really don't know what the next step is.",0.5157585470085486,1.8224776057692296,3.0993589743589745,93.42341880341878,80.63461538461539,6.160683760683763,21.170940170940174,6.937597516519254,0.25006965811965776,357,10,89,4,9,125,64,104,0.187,0.735,0.078,-0.8819,0,0,0,0,1,0,12.0,0,0,0,5,5,4,1,0,4,0,14,2,1,3,1,19,21,8,0,5,4,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,7,3,0,3,4,0,0,1,7,2,0,0,0,1,17,2,10,18,1,12,1,0,0,0,1,4,1,3,8,65,24,2,0.0,0.2348420158271748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163106869723146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4446103652060276,0.15825157625189978,0.0,0.0,0.25565329043207063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10021904418114412,0.14159859696583266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035545940046131,0.0,0.0,0.16624601318237198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951932476828216,0.0,0.0,0.22375075003702613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17617483740812906,0.0,0.0,0.10892898096886296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13999894825289086,0.09683357041971072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21079461387943205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896566294693258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21081676297004512,0.0,0.0,0.1269760101968121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20677236397929366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983494095003333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980528918773577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13167943679609975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13456904489867927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11690719180351415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14429652322293965,0.0,0.0,0.14080004547750385,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Petermouse32,2020/03/12,"If you need money I will be gifting some amount to next 20 people If you're going through financial hard times, I can offer a help through PayPal.

I will be sending a donation without requesting money back but rules are to use money in good things like to buy food, help someone, or anything similar but good.

$1000 left (Will update how much is left every time the money has been sent)

Interesed PM me.",7.643076923076923,6.804365230769236,7.4457692307692325,76.4117307692308,63.35897435897437,9.851282051282054,34.884615384615394,8.841846274778883,2.9415538461538464,320,12,58,4,4,102,60,78,0.015,0.787,0.198,0.9446,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,10,1,0,2,0,10,14,6,0,3,6,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,6,3,1,0,0,0,2,1,5,3,7,7,3,11,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,4,6,35,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794290742347947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16765998559827106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18370885390537803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26365590975444425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12391766257764172,0.3657647074114069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953218099018874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2922964250103576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4738041300670911,0.0,0.0,0.10652376521448806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16028514230337976,0.16167455719635312,0.0,0.0,0.2318889602030061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15116209926197524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18474533858177575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14485667881547534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542827928693904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18831732197697773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101836372143675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,underdog2291,2020/03/12,Someone talk to me before I relapse Please I’m a new mom I’m stressed and I have three years of sobriety,-1.9282608695652181,-0.7585829565217371,0.569217391304349,99.17469565217392,117.69565217391305,3.5791304347826087,21.991304347826084,5.6839178017228535,0.2897721739130441,84,4,19,1,5,28,19,23,0.11599999999999999,0.773,0.111,-0.0258,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,9,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31441941941338203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4327568718930568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3568678250272062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4056027945872068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31307827619741696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.423263874833296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2969921196612938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379475007263936
addiction,Livingbullfrog3,2020/03/12,Internet addiction Have a bad internet addiction that leads to online shopping and porn addiction. Hours and hours go by and I lose track of time. I crave going back online when I'm away too long.,3.3079729729729728,6.109124054054058,4.282364864864864,80.83543918918923,78.72972972972974,9.105405405405406,25.466216216216218,9.516144504307137,2.9151135135135133,158,6,28,5,4,51,28,37,0.16699999999999998,0.833,0.0,-0.7351,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,1,0,4,4,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,4,0,10,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,6,15,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7238577881967492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079498887715199,0.17019161907312055,0.18480403158578548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515775908078447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4359373646290109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19587297500517786,0.0,0.24761530922434216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290612070210114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,DankGingerNut,2020/03/13,"1 week Hey guys, I'm new to this sub like brand new. I've never said it out loud or admitted this to anyone but I am addicted to cannabis. 

I started using it when I was 18. My mum passed away in 2016 when I was 21, from then until now weed has helped me slow my brain down enough that I can cope with what has happened. It was gradual, I didn't used to smoke much but it became more, and more over time. 

I've was smoking a hell of a lot every day back in November/December and I cracked in December and had somewhat of a breakdown due to work and from then I've yet to return. In that time my life has fallen apart more than I thought it ever could. All I did was smoke weed and play video games all day. 

At the end of January my partner left me and cannabis was there. I kept waiting in the lonely house we shared smoking and just waiting for her to come back. I tried to kill myself 4 times and was in a dark place. 

I've been staying with family for the last week and I haven't been smoking. I've felt emotions good and bad that I haven't felt in a long time and a clarity that I haven't felt in an even longer time. 

I realise now that my ex left because shit couldn't keep going on like they were and she wasn't going to come back to exactly the same situation so I made the conscious decision to make myself better, at first it was for her but at this point in time it's for myself, because I am worth more that what I was doing when I went off on sick. 

I have somewhat of a plan for the next few months that will get my mental health in check and hopefully win back my ex, I am doing this for me though. No one else, if I can win my ex back it's just a happy side effect of the effort I am now putting into myself. 

All my paraphernalia is staying with a family member who smokes so my expensive bong and grinders won't go to waste. 

Here's to 1 week clean and many more to come.",3.177694352768608,3.601781542079209,4.294565456545654,90.92333516685005,72.6881188118812,7.56934360102677,24.36890355702237,7.526774132740827,0.8206440410707745,1469,38,345,16,27,481,196,404,0.087,0.789,0.124,0.9042,0,2,3,0,0,1,27.0,1,0,1,8,21,15,3,0,17,0,36,6,2,5,6,60,62,29,1,4,7,4,3,2,1,2,4,2,1,2,22,24,0,4,8,3,3,10,9,5,0,2,24,5,45,10,53,34,15,79,1,1,0,0,18,27,2,6,42,235,67,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10116258373197427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06488592034042859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08718597096527626,0.3567763764313841,0.07748173864044393,0.11313655466883825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207153230055499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035923019467557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398095667814492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07409096807154943,0.0,0.0,0.11969296121662933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07752010588207119,0.10438429622581516,0.08219072544417383,0.0958842554226272,0.0,0.061291638057202814,0.08394032898612934,0.07818559566355965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17496177621844144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672994307385911,0.0,0.0,0.07893320281207324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04848267739112612,0.0,0.15821626539882222,0.07783384119417035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091883761560383,0.08206020748446663,0.09878428475707672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863902409597312,0.0,0.0,0.0621999691738722,0.0,0.0,0.09216850185716287,0.0,0.10707544435689677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248236486844725,0.10266629018541007,0.0,0.0,0.07564205738048829,0.0,0.0,0.20164873575571168,0.0,0.06554536675542852,0.09067199384858944,0.0,0.0,0.0821225517963469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07889281290288334,0.0,0.08780690087227852,0.06194281383367601,0.09408173836944723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09351769447527808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406979456441062,0.0,0.06821657781101265,0.0,0.0715708777901145,0.17924811879682953,0.09869081481839646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06288174600982915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695326403877833,0.0,0.0877232952465738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328675990900873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827133375179842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09525493421936916,0.0,0.10430787728430382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06568229575730902,0.19781881572712506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911727222815756,0.07367056635680641,0.3246645635989921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630031690372326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16029387456872407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22330881311157247,0.0,0.0,0.08602388167179828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675574256393422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,arctic_slush,2020/03/13,"Feeling of a possible downward spiral I can’t help but feel extremely “heavy” again. The thoughts, they are suffocating and all I want to do is binge use everything. I’m almost to day 13 of not using my drugs of choice, except I’ve felt really depressed lately. Working out at the gym was my way of coping, but due to COVID-19, that’s not an option anymore. I need to get past this and I’m not sure how. I’m afraid of myself because I know if I let myself go, well then I’d leave for a long time again.",3.654,4.1781544,4.981904761904765,86.06142857142858,71.66666666666666,7.904761904761906,26.42857142857143,7.957251820313856,1.389571428571429,392,12,85,5,7,131,78,105,0.086,0.841,0.07200000000000001,-0.5319,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,1,4,4,0,1,5,0,6,1,0,3,2,24,20,7,0,3,7,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,5,1,0,1,4,2,1,0,3,3,10,2,13,16,1,14,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,3,9,50,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20663619167405906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046501637489012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12579298579717185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330828485489667,0.0,0.17773452101873022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23930798568128656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18545988489561466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20868005815126067,0.0,0.19813456751688907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781273596889213,0.0,0.11727713460635936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383163887529717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11340811653448553,0.0,0.2327790808945516,0.21850170102589156,0.0,0.21101346664917267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18261897795957432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530107041428435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19699059566443106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326359087784153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13219723560620028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19448852623397836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16382398305335485,0.12032811427805752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.356451460732894,0.0,0.0,0.12171438963118734,0.1637961568983418,0.0,0.0,0.18553924454549656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15022996429082494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,revolver37,2020/03/13,"Will my brain ever be normal again? Been sober for 3 months now, after 25 years of heavy cannabis use and the occasional opiate binge. At first I was highly motivated to take care of myself - eating well, exercising, journaling. The last few weeks that's all faded. I'm noticing that I'm just as forgetful now as I was when I was high - constantly losing things, forgetting appointments, having to drive back to the house when I'm halfway to my destination because I forgot something. I'm also suffering from extreme anhedonia, just as bad as it was when I was using and depressed. 

I'm on meds and going to therapy and I know it will take a long time to recover. But how long? I'm absolutely miserable and it's taking all the willpower I have not to relapse.",4.748012539184953,6.406713744827588,6.1522884012539185,74.4320062695925,70.17241379310343,9.410658307210033,29.733542319749212,9.800150414767053,3.0644482758620684,603,24,107,15,11,204,94,145,0.126,0.815,0.059000000000000004,-0.8708,1,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,3,13,7,0,1,5,0,11,3,1,4,3,21,26,15,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,5,1,1,2,1,0,2,1,5,1,1,7,0,10,2,18,16,3,25,0,4,0,0,0,4,0,0,19,74,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309380424636692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12590136028317708,0.1367110736073862,0.09981074330812796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827813245430853,0.0,0.0,0.1669377531170895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17693831591533338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14102387777802786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16754078615642007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481068016284926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927207996434113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305382095772842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34598797889522664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18892708413461365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998393938063502,0.13346508552610373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28979892347424585,0.0,0.18317649498880573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818715931184645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13069093846447913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16042458271280993,0.0,0.18641227528484366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12605045352416638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3693228346997233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872441297614103,0.0,0.10877761228413044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09547462802356267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28282725800294983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313375604030772,0.0,0.14721655419463686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10543934534004756
addiction,digbickeddie,2020/03/13,"Tramadol addiction Hey guys this is my first post here and i just wanted to open up. I am 19 years old and have been addicted to tramadol for over a year and a half. I use it 2-3 times a week and my dosage was too much, around 750mg minimum to 1000mg max. I would say that this shit is just nasty but i always get cravings for it.
To shorten things. Its an SSRI opiate that is weaker than percocets and oxys. It causes seizures above 400+mg but my dosage however could kill someone but i still end up doing it. Im 1 week clean and i hope i can never touch this shit again. My body is heavily craving it and i just cant because i know the damage it has done to my body and i can physically feel it. It just saddens me because i was a guy who would just only stick with weed and nothing else and here i am fucked myself over because i have no self control or worry for the loved ones around me. I have heard of stories about people getting seizures below 500-700mg and it just strikes me because i could have ended up in an ER because of my dumbass. I hope i can make it this time guys. Much love.",1.0452456239412733,3.0418151168831216,2.5789045736871827,94.46164878599664,81.81385281385282,5.402672689629211,21.731789949181252,6.498293943080001,0.27245138339920993,856,27,192,8,23,279,132,231,0.196,0.7170000000000001,0.087,-0.9832,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,14,9,4,0,8,0,24,9,4,4,1,39,37,15,1,7,10,0,2,0,0,2,2,2,1,4,19,15,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,5,1,3,5,4,28,4,22,28,2,24,0,1,0,3,10,10,3,3,13,134,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24474258611868116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09340268993617087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998562295409509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3421390097099865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24937342294639264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11531376673829828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259002082932001,0.17924824045529306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148728104050742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09377217588688123,0.0,0.1988439792470395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0567580044226122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954815282201578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037752025444094,0.1172941161536538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.333441504709602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229832085247224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12125146617871595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12419025117903568,0.0,0.06169078575930579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20262369814631265,0.0,0.07492910861829974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16503633115843952,0.0,0.08657569367517208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770886021795756,0.0,0.11778963357401988,0.0,0.07606488768059907,0.08537273499477635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07782143096328092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075064253731504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926732799298312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171033593974229,0.0,0.23045021273062624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511078955918012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08964462446521719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07457526777576565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13091013492833484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09694972180839384,0.0,0.0,0.06620916177793143,0.0,0.18008363174017197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11399739586978748,0.0,0.1594812576633961,0.0,0.0,0.14457326737962664
addiction,TheHTruth,2020/03/13,"Addicts who wanna fix their addiction with a different drug. I read about many addicts who try to ""fix"" their addiction by using a different substance. Especially weed and alcohol.

Give it up guys, we ended up being addicts, because we cant use normally. Wether its weed, alcohol, crack or meth, we cant use normal. Block this idea out of your head and stop suffering.

If we could drink social, we would, I and hundreds of addicts I met have tried it time and time again. It never works. It always ends up more fucked up then you started. 

Its either everything of none for us.",3.6822222222222223,6.0678983333333365,4.573851851851857,81.50633333333336,74.92592592592592,8.023703703703704,27.46666666666667,8.841846274778883,2.431593333333334,452,18,81,10,10,146,75,108,0.091,0.887,0.022000000000000002,-0.8218,2,0,5,0,0,0,19.0,6,2,2,1,2,2,1,0,2,0,6,12,1,3,1,26,13,7,0,6,3,0,0,0,0,1,9,0,0,1,9,11,3,2,1,2,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,13,0,14,9,3,14,0,1,0,1,16,5,1,2,9,56,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7059228623620651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23067728051299285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980196333040953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06578987141564208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08616905962455068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22551659958564724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10572508009581597,0.12515834254935165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911784312102586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969957259756576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977460970200536,0.0,0.10353116870323012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10686238194078797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11076183809879343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12183380524620195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10941866646025508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08323815164248041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21148650573618816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10795386660228587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100156002661752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638963029776177,0.0,0.0,0.09022984885513492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12586347507172488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465475204497867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12982007835664122,0.2796367653441388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07857043833434538,0.0,0.0,0.07666658242050099,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,rhymeswithpanda1987,2020/03/13,"3 Years Sober Today Due to the Caronavirus concerns, I will not be going to the large meeting to take my cake until further notice, so I thought I could ""celebrate"" here on Reddit with you.",7.064166666666665,6.891508194444448,6.835555555555558,78.11500000000002,64.27777777777779,8.311111111111114,34.66666666666667,7.1686216300943375,2.4721000000000006,149,6,26,1,2,47,31,36,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,6,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,5,0,6,2,0,7,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,4,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3657467039922679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603424731055075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5215372379703472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3444258357527693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3636714099919051,0.0,0.0,0.4342147052187989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2949942264157377
addiction,n_e_u_r_o_i_c,2020/03/13,I’m addicted to pain killers and reallly want to stop but Idk how to Okay just for some background I have really bad depression and anxiety and had just stopped cutting and starving when I started these. This all started around 2 months ago cause one day I had a headache so my mum let me take some cocodamol to school (30/500) and I accidentally took 2 pills but it felt rlly fucking good and it went from taking 2 to get me through the day all the way to a packet (10). Ive already tried to stop but couldn’t.... I just need that something to get me through the days so I don’t fucking end it....,2.8371900826446317,4.495869289256202,3.659578512396696,90.3766404958678,75.11570247933885,6.823471074380167,28.62892561983471,7.554174236665415,1.4948968595041323,468,20,102,6,10,149,78,121,0.258,0.6829999999999999,0.057999999999999996,-0.9767,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,8,8,3,0,5,1,7,5,0,2,2,26,21,13,0,3,6,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,7,0,3,1,0,0,2,2,6,0,1,5,1,11,2,13,14,4,16,0,1,0,2,1,1,2,2,12,62,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17762405384837762,0.0,0.0,0.1444327407717396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17980368835081173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464542812787945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450473913873787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13604457309037873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673799320127338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3152403023544162,0.0,0.14033635126704905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14431274196013694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564439035580756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3012630120029198,0.17025444352926358,0.0,0.0,0.13666280446265128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666128774985437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13005378760495978,0.0,0.0,0.1208148186471086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11040950346743304,0.0,0.1733751610887063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043808348891856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648997112648177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254359261839441,0.0,0.0,0.23065357186589594,0.0,0.0,0.4086648314614225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450148626269866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18102765025441195,0.11062270136691618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09610374641703252,0.12933084062074793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510431033553018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,1053_daysandcounting,2020/03/13,"Sober 3 years today! Today is my birthday! I’m 3 years sober today. Every year I reflect where I was just over  3 yrs ago and it brings up so many emotions. I almost lost it all. Family, job, life I NEEDED serious help. After over 20 yrs of active addiction I got sober and stayed sober. And if I can do it, so can you! I have the disease of “more” didn’t matter what the drug was... I’d do them all.  After many attempts on my own, I went to rehab to try and figure my life out and as reluctant as I was, it was actually amazing for me. I guess basically, I’m saying I made it out. After being treated for the depression I have, I’m happier than I’ve ever been. There are tons of bumps in the road but it gets smoother. I reluctantly went to rehab and it was the best thing I could have done. I do SMART Recovery and it’s only fingertips away online. I do a caduceus meeting (NA for MED professionals) GET TREATMENT!! If anyone ever needs direction of help pls reach out. Stay strong! You can do this!!",0.33824390243902513,2.647602921951222,2.919219512195124,88.73834146341466,88.07317073170731,5.8165853658536575,19.41951219512195,7.24861992348623,0.6101375609756099,769,23,161,13,25,266,120,205,0.04,0.8029999999999999,0.157,0.9766,1,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,2,1,4,7,8,0,0,6,0,23,6,0,1,4,27,37,14,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,11,10,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,13,1,23,5,25,22,6,28,0,2,0,0,7,11,0,4,12,111,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.13089855178794155,0.14622934081637984,0.0,0.0,0.1189045290756799,0.0,0.1343190236794031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093791844866118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260263092574491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14076870946007433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10709763453902127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155321686097412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13726892086621462,0.0,0.0,0.15555655925994435,0.0,0.0,0.1508862888390048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426695428830208,0.11301637120607387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12645260856657614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14016229507741962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072817676804618,0.0,0.14776724191449025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17981866724939513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13311046730266174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18949013401255715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14642659263919758,0.0,0.0,0.12692385623227412,0.0,0.2719881220328117,0.0,0.0,0.14899618343042373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19892205935911905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10201738046458217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10667128051448764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2859448024923421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.089114791348712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3814391268880024,0.0,0.0,0.09107034970623797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486930453390037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591398651603039
addiction,PowerfulPrimate93,2020/03/13,"ADD diagnosis on the way and I relapsed. I got a add diagnosis and now I am waiting to get to the doctor to discuss about medication. The appointment is in two weeks. 
Life has been pure hell because I can not focus on anything and time moves really slow. Drugs have been on my mind 24/7 and now I stole some xanor from my mothers purse. I feel like shit about the stealing and about the relapse. It has been tough after my 22year old brothers death 3months ago. 
I just need some encouraging words. Thank you all.",2.33818181818182,4.965656353535357,3.0573737373737413,89.1727272727273,81.42424242424244,6.0242424242424235,24.15151515151515,7.348242739294969,1.0922242424242428,405,15,81,6,11,127,70,99,0.159,0.764,0.077,-0.872,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,0,6,7,2,0,6,0,9,5,1,0,2,18,15,5,1,1,2,2,1,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,7,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,4,1,11,3,12,11,3,14,1,0,0,0,5,4,2,2,9,52,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21930801065964545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20359175470153654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508146953105111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532276600890652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869091684021925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12509449230423506,0.17674489657291612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292579615842667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19787094093848576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17474819778931075,0.12086870742615988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24923269735718875,0.0,0.0,0.24980670677289116,0.0,0.0,0.2629504497904333,0.0,0.18344633906502372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25960804225832834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15849282599101155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539558310427106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277756282570941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14426279634855127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24167697875765254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19637714566603026,0.1984519250985573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,bambina92,2020/03/13,"so am i the only one who has an addictive personality without a traumatic past? so the thing is i’ve been an addicted through my life to different things. tobacco, alcohol, drugs, exercising, certain foods, etc. in this sub i see mostly depressed people with a trauma in the past talk about their addictions. i had not so bright but a normal childhood. i have good life good education good job. i had good relationships. i am an extrovert who never struggled with human interaction. so i was just wondering am i the weird one here? what is pushing me to be an addict?",3.483584415584417,6.2429390380952405,5.3270129870129885,73.87207792207793,77.66666666666667,9.151515151515152,29.54545454545455,9.573946990214177,3.4970000000000008,449,21,77,14,11,153,72,105,0.07200000000000001,0.731,0.19699999999999998,0.9426,2,0,3,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,0,8,10,0,1,11,0,12,10,0,0,2,11,14,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,9,0,0,2,6,2,2,0,1,1,0,1,3,4,0,2,4,2,11,6,9,9,2,7,0,1,2,0,8,2,0,2,4,62,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5799545675812214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14213558194915255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11455192322161832,0.0,0.0,0.1389557439294268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542367225283939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14832914451911086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16082303020667002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4462133137341289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13198107690642447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878823841347891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10257709903433147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13031087196952099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18024725382906626,0.10115180278252046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539253653211773,0.0922048243802072,0.11612967729007966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14279125149607996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059830570284784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390395283605123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689963238984307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17671737420546396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282063787917965,0.14423184212346873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,krookedkat,2020/03/13,"How long will I feel this way after my medical detox?  

After 6 years of daily drinking and dependency I finally got the courage to go to detox for the first time after accepting I needed help. It was miserable and I spent three days there but probably should have stayed longer. I have extreme social anxiety (why I drank) so I didn't go to any of the groups and basically slept the whole time, they gave me Librium and a lot of hydroxyzine. I left with a rx for the hydroxyzine and trazodone but its not doing much for me in terms of the insomnia and anxiety. I'm still shaking and can't think straight, but my vitals looked fine after my follow up visit yesterday. I feel nothing, I feel like I don't exist, and I have no one to talk to. My brain feels so broken. I know its only been five days, but is it the drugs they prescribed me or is my brain gonna take a while to feel like a brain again?

Its been two days since I got out, and now this whole coronavirus thing makes me feel like I have the worst luck in the world and I want to just stay inside and drink like everyone else so badly. I'm trying so hard not to give up after only five days of sobriety. Someone please give me some advice :(",4.9091358024691365,5.1421202427983586,5.587259259259259,83.85866666666666,68.79423868312757,9.27835390946502,26.89958847736625,9.21078282632365,1.8971790946502056,941,26,199,17,15,306,136,243,0.18,0.747,0.073,-0.9832,0,0,3,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,2,1,10,13,0,2,13,0,15,13,4,3,0,39,42,22,0,3,8,0,7,4,0,3,6,0,0,0,8,13,3,0,9,2,1,5,6,4,0,6,10,8,28,9,27,29,7,37,0,1,1,0,10,8,0,5,25,133,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033480089782606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192081706887977,0.0,0.16181309940574504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883056617467776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3541913334339647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27282728374783105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20721019828307824,0.1226486891895905,0.0,0.08834938875549918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105876081712928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3208543440712401,0.22666612579522136,0.0,0.11585553938450532,0.0,0.08995989029696867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029103593587547,0.1202123430225833,0.0,0.16917278503136676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474070089486164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088908347832194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058123245644379075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490917320493928,0.0,0.0,0.20667709731851636,0.0,0.0,0.093594779982455,0.0888122457581525,0.0,0.0,0.08991385806122527,0.0,0.0,0.07059600445239662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10654265182350137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07774619092707936,0.07842012560370445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10148012322213104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166610211160514,0.16087136470572014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609335105142575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11402778662261405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748623979058846,0.0,0.0,0.10780958654619263,0.08961059122423601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254534001851813,0.08446053108837186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07951878965321993,0.08500634331781581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026262600768261,0.06776710545494356,0.0,0.0,0.1233396825170223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07180448750375433,0.0,0.10331271327786568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062380326762925764,0.08394782096669945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09543246811529577,0.2361558080973373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06810634222023157
addiction,biglumpus,2020/03/13,"Just need to talk Anyone? Relapsed today, just need to talk.",1.4445454545454552,3.942690272727273,1.5731818181818191,93.57977272727274,100.8181818181818,2.2,14.590909090909092,3.1291,-1.1544909090909092,47,1,8,0,2,14,7,11,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.281479722526673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5969871490721292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6471259024348242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3815803664327517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,neverdoitagain93,2020/03/13,"I was probably minutes away from dying. My girlfriend, family, and first responders saved my life. I will not go back to opiates ever again. Sorry if I have any grammatical errors, or if formatting is wrong, or anything else that typically pisses off your normal Redditor. 

I’ve had an on and off relationship with opiates for about 3-4 years. Started with Roxy. Could barely do a half a 30 without puking an hour later. That went on for about 2 years, me and my friends lost our usual plug so I stopped for a while. One day I’m working (I work at a bar) and a bartender who knew I did pain pills said he had some H if I wanted it, because I usually hook him up. I took it, told some of my friends and then a week later they had found their own plug to get the H from. I could never buy it like them, spending $80-$150 on a bag of dope that would probably last a week at best. I just liked to get high and get away, but everyday I woke up I wanted that feeling again. So it continued on and off. I’d maybe do it 3 days in a row, take 2 days off, and then go back. This goes on for a year or longer until Tuesday. 

I get off of work and know my boy needs to meet his plug. I ask to take a ride and tell him I’ll trade him some weed if he breaks me off a little bag, which he agrees to. We go to the spot and wait for the D man to show up. While we wait, me and my friend hit the rest of his bag he has left. After about 15 minutes l, the plug pulls up, my boy gets the stuff, and we leave. I drop him off home, take my bag with me and go to pick up my girlfriend. (She had no idea I was doing, neither did my parents or my little brother.) me and her get back to the house and it’s just a normal night. About 11:45 me and her are in my room. My parents are asleep but my little brother is in his room doing whatever he does. I decide I want to hit some, so I tell my girl ‘I gotta run to the car to grab a juul pod real quick.’ Run to the car, quickly scoop out what I thought was a good dose into my straw and snort it. My nose was kinda stuffy so I didn’t really even feel how much I got at first. I run back inside and before I open my door I snort as hard as I can to start my drip, and boy was it a big one. 

I hopped in bed and laid down immediately. I don’t know why because at the time it felt like a normal nod, but I told my girlfriend I didn’t feel right. About 3 minutes after that I was knocked out. I obviously couldn’t see what was happening, but hearing the stories from my family are horrific and I honestly never wish this kind of trauma upon anyone. 

They said my fists were clenched and impossible to open as well as my eyes. I turned white with my lips and fingers turning blue. I gasped for air like my life depended on it and then stopped breathing for 30-40 seconds at a time. My little brother (18) had ironically taken some CPR/breathing classes and knew a little about what to do in the situation. But thankfully they acted almost immediately. My girlfriend said she heard me snore but it didn’t sound normal. She shook me and said my name but I didn’t respond which is unusual because I’m a light sleeper. She ran to my brother and asked him to come see. He immediately went to my parents room, and once they saw me they made the decision to call 911. While on the phone explaining the situation the first responders show and he knows exactly what is happening. He runs to his car, grabs the Narcan, then shoots it up my nose. A minute passes and the paramedics show up and they get me on a stretcher. As they’re about to take me out the house, I wake up. I just hear my mom saying my name. I look around and I see the paramedics, then the police, then I lean further up and see my girl and family. I lay back down and all I can think is ‘Fuccccck’.
You can only imagine how insane it is to wake up to some fucking strangers hovered over you saying ‘oh he’s up, he’s good’. Holy shit...

If my girlfriend wasn’t there, I would’ve died for sure. If those first responders wouldn’t have been so on top of their job, I would’ve died. 

It’s a surreal feeling. Like I was given a second chance at life. It was the ultimate lesson. Everyone in my household knows now. There is no hiding it anymore. 

While I wanted to make this post to share my story, I also wanted to share this to tell everyone to please be carful. You never think it can happen to you, until it does. 

TL;DR:
Did too much H ended up overdosing and having all the good symptoms you hear about from a overdose. Girlfriend caught it quick and alerted my family. First responders knew exactly what was happening and saved me with Narcan. Fuck opiates!!!!!",2.384874395677315,3.779514947862357,3.8357815906721022,89.74483552943407,75.7466110531804,6.9004834581476935,23.40345056403451,7.5445857655137525,0.8414250260688214,3581,105,796,46,77,1184,379,959,0.075,0.8540000000000001,0.071,-0.6222,4,0,2,1,0,0,119.0,4,6,9,12,36,30,4,1,50,0,56,21,11,6,10,148,144,81,3,22,22,8,9,5,9,4,7,11,6,6,38,55,1,4,22,4,3,23,16,9,1,10,50,34,133,21,123,84,14,152,0,1,9,2,99,68,4,19,63,523,171,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051447956080192765,0.0,0.0,0.041087216101612506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03493901277090062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05095347795107233,0.035924909094557644,0.0,0.04227997157592093,0.04573758890913951,0.09606356894319963,0.0,0.0965432274001896,0.19753374573616309,0.0,0.09395922305852784,0.0,0.04371915778580752,0.0,0.053918366761311336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05246299915000721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04425786488773365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08204280000139719,0.0,0.0,0.09940427896543157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15996772318448904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08992301097043613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042919985448348436,0.0,0.04550593294363663,0.0,0.0,0.0339348893243578,0.04647462303644101,0.0,0.09818835432360218,0.0,0.0,0.19373959320273484,0.0,0.10391366952322648,0.03670467507020106,0.04933123498354037,0.0,0.0,0.2185118220323052,0.0,0.05633366522383789,0.11908426502505752,0.09499683975507672,0.18790132561258,0.0,0.11679791079301607,0.12928106689604535,0.04109192816204344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18173468010891008,0.0,0.046024874207414315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17372126895966805,0.0,0.0,0.05428400558750025,0.05153663425837463,0.0,0.05059728617102057,0.11856734356541525,0.0,0.057999858422357976,0.0,0.0,0.05098504506663869,0.0,0.0,0.0535026037621947,0.11294470250026516,0.04188018018180438,0.0,0.05440221205566634,0.05582268435932744,0.0,0.10887005978665558,0.1255042357164225,0.2574728219160641,0.0,0.0,0.04314484060692258,0.0,0.05608549482204805,0.0,0.0,0.048615399383431235,0.034295421015233765,0.0,0.051616418306569115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06017365594174809,0.0,0.0,0.07553793931702935,0.038096365998447866,0.11887836058752164,0.0,0.0,0.04821506365716573,0.20135934137738828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05471622355254885,0.06963054534043939,0.039075520099711485,0.05467014448921069,0.0,0.1711485997801656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056397955978694375,0.0,0.0,0.049206218891472864,0.0,0.11078901646040762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584797651471133,0.03291426112865452,0.0,0.0,0.055161077355135577,0.0,0.0438767961814333,0.19549015404581502,0.08171618888514648,0.0,0.0,0.16376744501723586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05273909709047832,0.0,0.1155027466551964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057513811860692425,0.0727316647994883,0.0,0.0,0.08590913578531155,0.0,0.0,0.05881587302189376,0.0,0.0,0.04842344932280943,0.05340173669771037,0.15452038063247134,0.0,0.1347207231071086,0.04730224513519941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06584229321726534,0.0,0.04078863928302517,0.0599182116979277,0.0,0.0,0.09818835432360218,0.057083193081432,0.0,0.11176969568108497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11317190001675352,0.0,0.15152129259985092,0.0,0.08242516269535809,0.0,0.0461952711535924,0.09525641657870716,0.04636093356733635,0.0,0.05908252112896776,0.049526857590083136,0.0,0.1122120652071655,0.0,0.0,0.10949303234342793,0.056174116697539064,0.0,0.099257841787297
addiction,Blacklagoonn,2020/03/13,Need advice on trying to make it through withdrawals and just at least one week sober Just need someone to share some advice on me,11.040399999999998,7.946273040000005,8.32,79.94000000000003,58.6,10.0,37.0,3.1291,2.2454,106,3,20,0,1,30,20,25,0.0,0.9159999999999999,0.084,0.29600000000000004,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,7,3,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,6,3,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,1,14,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6608571585437975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22571249977718397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5014562147008869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291338607952645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2865067323374141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295763123622749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27123722301362674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ajwolfpack,2020/03/13,"I have zero self control I can’t say no to anything. Wether it’s drugs, alcohol, sex I’ll do it. I’m out of control and it’s affecting every facet of my life. I feel like I’m barely keeping it together and I know I can’t keep living this way.",-1.807227272727275,0.10089779999999847,1.8948863636363635,93.72232954545456,98.27272727272728,4.931818181818182,19.602272727272727,6.6274283507984215,0.3646818181818179,189,7,44,3,8,69,38,55,0.048,0.897,0.055,0.0772,0,0,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,3,0,10,10,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,1,5,3,1,4,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,2,6,1,4,10,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,23,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591803418556835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19957346297160505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5440140590512798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28124644035938856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20433373080030764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12262550153089552,0.17325648144899464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4311261990335452,0.0,0.0,0.1332827610929197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17129919152171105,0.11848312099526508,0.0,0.2141497823854967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928617994381331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25300146337316914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19250124871954447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,oPredatorZzo,2020/03/13,If anyone’s got the time I just need to talk thanks If anyone’s got the time I just need to talk thanks,0.6624999999999979,1.8230802500000003,1.8733333333333315,103.005,79.83333333333334,4.800000000000002,12.0,3.1291,-1.8661000000000003,82,0,22,0,2,26,12,24,0.0,0.7559999999999999,0.244,0.7003,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,6,2,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,2,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,10,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3731084707674536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4267720326604453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39566076067347455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4288908516821953,0.0,0.4912710648705621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3111489061655151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Fortyneiners,2020/03/13,"Anyone else desperately want to want to get sober I know I need to get sober. I’m 21 and just really fucked up for the first time (oui). Inpatient makes me even more depressed and no matter how hard I try to get clean via outpatient group therapy and NA/AA I can’t completely kick drugs. I’ve cut back from using 7-10g of coke a week plus who knows how many bars and whatever else is thrown in front of me. I do under an 8 ball a week now and maybe do something else once a week. The change I have seen in my life outside of the dui (just a stupid dumb ass Decision) has been tremendous. But no matter how much I want to be completely sober, how many times I tell myself that I need to clean up my act and focus on my future, I still find myself out partying doing drugs",5.0435185185185185,4.368979524691362,5.779382716049388,85.68722222222223,68.5679012345679,9.669135802469137,26.024691358024693,9.150863307647796,1.5842913580246911,601,13,138,10,9,197,106,162,0.177,0.738,0.085,-0.9608,0,0,3,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,10,5,4,0,8,0,9,7,1,6,0,28,24,12,0,5,3,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,2,0,2,8,2,0,4,2,0,2,3,5,0,1,2,2,17,0,19,21,2,19,0,1,1,2,3,7,3,0,10,77,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964966633230163,0.14140295657897656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061177207550651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459915336421243,0.0,0.2893923089678712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11886394593502125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32008516194602005,0.0,0.34585769233850044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09115133962948437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261345384992617,0.11738741866959675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275838727729012,0.2163065533784957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12362583240467688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15168844133467008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09747737498363478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921197514102954,0.27983185827215745,0.13864508678808407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144993101032047,0.20465867812812605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14697136709685013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840986531929111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10624338607653727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102113807742303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062290100797478,0.0,0.1578213311623888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16094424862464196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09369668425710677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11919245319976148,0.0,0.0,0.2441976811096412,0.0,0.33209909396112064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,sh0geki,2020/03/13,"Drug withdrawal and how to cope Hello
I'm 18 yrs old and i smoke cigarettes and weed. I cant even remember why I started smoking or when. I've been unable to remember whole lectures and conversations with people because of marijuana
I want to stop, i dont want to upset my parents by telling them and i want to stop ASAP. 
I've been getting marijuana withdrawal symptoms approximately 6 hours after each smoke. The nausea is the most unbearable and 100% whats affecting my life the most right now. I wake up whole mornings just puking from the nausea and anxiety, i havent been able to go to school fully because of it, and my GPA is feeling it.
Any advice on how to turn this around? I dont like feeling this way, and i dont like that my body is trying to depend on this drug.
Thanks",2.493333333333336,4.704533407643313,4.275439490445859,83.05209766454351,77.98089171974522,7.243991507430997,25.753290870488318,8.238735603445708,1.8164916348195328,623,24,121,12,15,210,92,157,0.08800000000000001,0.8170000000000001,0.095,-0.4471,1,0,5,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,0,7,4,0,1,4,0,11,6,2,4,0,29,22,13,0,3,2,1,2,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,7,12,0,2,4,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,3,2,15,3,19,19,5,15,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,4,10,77,22,3,0.13407371188075184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13101527953904185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911747216623947,0.0,0.102566022612888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935402885146637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16346018067060775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14892566914474906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4714001753860166,0.0,0.31096588039062023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855442221794459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355833943824112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07004798076930555,0.0,0.07619718019173405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13203559910992926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094700227732095,0.1310032866003207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14068780699294214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488729904895073,0.0,0.0,0.09294983036343774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3037587589055308,0.11449821737984625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13568975427718105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489806334280408,0.0,0.0,0.2241832531114401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393539225515079,0.0,0.0,0.11718633372184,0.1234370605285136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09102724953744286,0.14583369829070872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372404469920843,0.10642147187333922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12098067114051733,0.2993770225331506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Little_Vortex,2020/03/14,"Potential Smoker Not as serious as some other posts but I think I've messed up:/. 

Im 19M, I sometimes go out drinking with my mates, I'd say twice a month so not that often. Usually on a night out ill socially smoke and for over a year I've been doing this. I wont smoke anywhere else only when drunk and with people. 

For about 3 weeks now I've been craving a cigarette, and its not gone away, like an itch that can't be itched. Im really tempted to organise a night out just so i can smoke but I know this is bad. 

Unsure of what to do and how to make this craving subside. Any ideas?",0.9030952380952364,2.7074860555555564,3.020873015873015,92.10607142857144,81.30158730158729,6.4222222222222225,20.81746031746032,7.492282038375204,0.5947269841269835,457,13,104,7,12,155,86,126,0.165,0.826,0.009000000000000001,-0.9623,0,0,6,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,8,4,0,0,6,0,9,5,2,2,0,22,14,12,0,0,6,0,0,1,1,1,3,1,0,0,8,9,2,0,3,2,0,2,5,3,0,1,3,1,6,1,18,9,1,18,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,2,9,65,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14232904437568633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19664129302843156,0.0,0.17475413880996973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20503124622654104,0.0,0.0,0.1748406731906733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11894823085908655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362706833564182,0.4521530565232132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11502408267490782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10225187558531493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13970728170160113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16705875975501722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3928218567499263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591796960819365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14510009232050972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004485403776808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340809302051851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16644126653361904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133517951132539,0.0,0.0,0.206999949854492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13410897918847448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305109260697357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16788531942596133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13478031812187813
addiction,xgodsent,2020/03/14,"Cannabis addiction in teens Couple of months ago my mental health went downhill and hasn't really gotten better since then.I started using way too much weed in this period of time and now I suspect that I am addicted...I can take a break for couple of days but I just have the problem that I can't stay sober for a long time..I either feel bad or I am so bored that I start craving it,the past 5 months I've been smoking weed almost every single day,couple of times a day and it has had many positive and negative effects on me..I have dealt with any anxiety I had,I feel much more confident and weed has helped me realize my self worth and learn how to cut toxic people off my life..The problem is that I'm a teenager and I got informed on how bad weed is for brain functioning in adolescence but it's still not enough to make me lower my marijuana use.I have lost interest in some of the things I used to love and I have become really introverted because I would rather smoke than go out but tbh it's not really that bad yet..I don't want to completely cut weed off my life and I am concerned on how bad I am going to fuck up my brain in the future.Has somebody else been addicted to weed as a teen?Do you guys have any long term problems caused by abusing the drug now?Do you have any tips on how to deal with possible addiction?I know it's easy to say ,,just smoke less"" or ,,just stop smoking"" but it's not that easy to do...",3.582450128700128,4.526962550675677,4.7767374517374535,85.9209009009009,72.14189189189189,8.340797940797941,25.581724581724572,8.704169506293173,1.6165548906048903,1129,34,241,20,21,373,158,296,0.207,0.703,0.09,-0.9885,1,0,3,0,0,0,29.0,0,2,0,3,12,15,3,0,9,0,23,9,2,9,0,50,42,21,0,6,14,0,2,0,0,1,5,1,0,2,13,12,0,1,8,0,1,3,7,12,0,0,7,3,23,3,35,34,9,36,0,1,0,2,9,13,1,4,17,142,36,1,0.0,0.11369005853500425,0.0,0.20920852337810364,0.0,0.0,0.08505762527551967,0.0,0.09608428940687933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19575647725074535,0.0,0.07340471461912698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32047105820631616,0.05849280106631135,0.10597389574457766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486370874763717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21423328392876406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09857141434628748,0.0,0.0,0.1006061726355814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.318514553530595,0.0,0.18564759877941694,0.09892458607923704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11127643017079804,0.0,0.08015743709487921,0.0,0.0,0.0991463580315639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08084556767326229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970346720891842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870812894430859,0.0,0.0,0.10906598743458754,0.0,0.0767433542287708,0.0,0.0,0.0950097623514817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199484738967426,0.0,0.0,0.06431609012431959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052733929143335884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355506046535001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16983292798130936,0.0,0.0,0.10474536457016634,0.0,0.08660242862279087,0.0,0.06405018603697551,0.09728251708786702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669928371310364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15317948371895956,0.0,0.14107478266432116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915991591352528,0.0665225734400962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10817396412703906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754456850062203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18441218852133198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763066459805434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10010117687597736,0.0,0.0,0.07937432122013544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13583377964996868,0.10227442995210001,0.07662916295269626,0.08022202332609983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214563076524019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06374771918250859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678550295920165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486209097866173,0.0,0.0,0.05659628424023476,0.07616399245287993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889505220007611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06816312385876036,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,alyraecam,2020/03/14,"Scared Shitless Feel free to browse more of my posts for some back story, but for the short version... I’ve been on and off drugs for as long as I can remember but because of underlying mental health issues (depression and anxiety) relapse is something I’m really familiar with. 

I’ve been to quite a few treatment centers including making it 6 months in a Christian treatment center but I always ended up back on suboxone and a few months ago started feeling like I need to come off of it. Mainly because I don’t want to depend on anything but also because I’ve felt called to work with plant medicine (Ayahuasca) and I know I don’t need to be on anything in order to work with it. 

Well, about 3 months ago I started to try to come off of it by switching to Ketamine and what I planned on being a short period of time on Xanax. I did get down to a low, low dose in the process but obviously I can’t beat the forces of addiction and before I knew it I was completely addicted to Ketamine and Xanax. The original plan was to basically come down on the Subs and switch to a short acting opiate (which obviously heroin was the least expensive one and therefore the one that made the most sense in my mind). Bad idea. 

A month ago I was at such an all time low with my depression and the shame and guilt that comes along with mental health. I set out to kill myself, with fentanyl and Xanax. Plan failed. 

Ended up in behavioral health for a week where they detoxed me but ultimately without adequate treatment for mental health, I was setting myself up for failure. But in the back of my mind, I know if I’m ever to be able to work with plant medicine (not even just undergoing it myself but acting as a guide for others undergoing the ceremonies).... I can’t be on anything. 

Flash forward to now being at my grandparents in Mississippi who were so kind to give me a place to live, but after finding my drugs, took my keys and although it’s MY car my grandfather said he would call the cops on me since he still has the drugs he can pin on me. He wants me to get clean the good old fashioned way... “You’ve just gotta quit. You’ve done those treatment centers before and they never work.” It’s so frustrating when family doesn’t understand the bigger picture and that they can’t empathize with the fact that addiction is like the diabetes they have... it must be managed. 

My argument is that if I was to go to a 90 day or 6 month program, it would give me a better shot at a life without drugs. But the problem with these programs is they’re pretty intense (I have no health insurance). I’m a very spiritual, not religious person, and these programs are very religious oriented. But beggars can’t be choosers, right? 

I’m just wanting to get some opinions from people who don’t really know me and can look at the situation objectively. 

My end goal is to find purpose and true healing, and I truly do feel called to work with plant medicine (although at the same time it terrifies me). I know my life will never be easy but I do believe it’s possible to find something remotely close to a life of peace. It’s just a matter of what that looks like, to reach it. I may not comment a ton on here but I can’t tell you guys how much your experience has helped me. I appreciate you taking the time to read and especially to those who provide any feedback as it’s super helpful when I’m only surrounded by close minded statements: Coming from the people who claim to love me the most, they sure can say some hurtful things.",5.185884057971017,5.925339153623187,5.7642028985507245,81.04644927536233,68.33333333333333,8.915942028985507,30.84057971014493,9.029198982220553,2.47276231884058,2776,107,543,48,45,899,305,690,0.10300000000000001,0.787,0.109,0.1399,1,0,6,0,0,1,67.0,0,3,5,15,22,26,2,3,41,0,49,23,0,6,10,116,91,48,1,11,25,0,4,3,0,6,22,2,1,2,34,39,0,0,16,1,3,11,17,14,1,2,16,8,58,13,104,61,15,99,1,7,2,1,30,50,0,11,38,367,92,13,0.059003772523967685,0.0,0.0,0.19296846400516932,0.0,0.0,0.1569098527757419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0471852955699411,0.04909586543360801,0.0,0.0,0.04012458864187179,0.0,0.04513772448040791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14566523201995976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361107769562316,0.0492656854682882,0.10790445623218227,0.0,0.10041572916940747,0.06647704632216511,0.0,0.05218404190673479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807483462926689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541326273916465,0.0618643328976304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03805255201764722,0.0,0.10163972563163708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060381344964282914,0.0,0.0,0.27370257467925946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567794876261143,0.0,0.0,0.038971435274248734,0.05337229027765645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057717011464715175,0.055623505534318884,0.0,0.08950224075935008,0.042152306880633726,0.05665287465015713,0.0,0.1617851374303171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09248110755861152,0.11320359017399613,0.033533203667842244,0.04948956497807778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058423011358629526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3135912552609229,0.0,0.0,0.07909796995334055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06316475883195714,0.06660807721568396,0.0,0.06158460885365711,0.0,0.0,0.06527893216157493,0.061443349338567675,0.1297077211888523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125028328447614,0.08647878857861888,0.0,0.05210141213788783,0.052216481943271637,0.09909661688058452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05325320836396459,0.055830796213713486,0.03938547633155087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17838577460626248,0.0,0.17873097049318082,0.0,0.2354812414990272,0.0,0.04337456186619591,0.08750109938487019,0.09101469367535796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06191453376103007,0.0,0.07996496658375142,0.04487502781629684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08181157320062273,0.05151981828632758,0.06164638397472831,0.0,0.0,0.06651788804104325,0.056509303928777135,0.060028048896000025,0.0,0.05645864167189951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255155499943185,0.059019739782779725,0.0,0.07559865511359555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683977217161602,0.05038889934433258,0.05612609939824497,0.04692216814907847,0.059073069587832185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04880853035998738,0.06632271247809822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084797350492244,0.0,0.0,0.08352634776642971,0.0,0.047120488955920733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05561035732287433,0.0,0.044363493827930686,0.0,0.05157189788249515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039199484660413335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376222970179799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06555536230447305,0.040059688434424534,0.0,0.0,0.06142500807725075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973685834144479,0.10440586130900563,0.04683444822998005,0.04732926726603311,0.0,0.053051477567259316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11375506231714436,0.0,0.21477724564493805,0.0,0.0,0.08382917420017992,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,luuuuciiid,2020/03/14,"love to hate it ~ hate to love it question....

what would you say to those that wanna quit but enjoy doin’ drugs? 

to be more specific, i’ve been smokin’ meth & doin’ suboxone for about 2 years now & each time i’ve tried to get clean, (which has been more than i can count) i fail due to the fact that i enjoy doin it so much. idek if it’s even that.. the longest i’ve ever been off it was 4 days so i’m not even sure i’ve given myself enough time to recoop to really feel “alive” again.",1.121624737945492,2.4884281226415084,2.4731446540880526,98.30885744234804,79.09433962264151,5.843186582809224,15.551362683438153,6.42735559955562,-0.7684914046121594,375,4,94,3,9,121,71,106,0.102,0.718,0.18100000000000002,0.8827,0,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,2,8,8,2,0,2,0,8,3,0,0,3,11,16,4,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,11,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,5,2,5,5,13,9,5,9,0,1,0,2,5,1,0,2,8,54,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43021536927864623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12803573112171462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302323195215845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20513504923448544,0.0,0.2622550101705125,0.17958217898686527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100382972363594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037239781423108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3920154805556017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3583630062075815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14594274092436565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22239956568519295,0.21116159572180407,0.0,0.0,0.1271837047197081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15787940062461933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871126213682592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23152943078791566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347891593402457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14103035195999505,0.0,0.0,0.1278471155876451
addiction,versaiiiiii,2020/03/14,"Should I be okay with my dad drinking My dads been sober for a year and tonight he relapsed, my dads always been an alcoholic and has always tried to quit for years, whenever I see him drink I can’t help but get sad and angry.

I always see kids okay with their parents drinking on tv and my friends talk about their parents drinking like it’s normal. 
But whenever my dad drinks I’m scared, I don’t know if I should be okay with it or not",1.5339072039072053,3.6293380439560483,2.35772893772894,96.16782661782663,80.64835164835166,5.363125763125763,22.1990231990232,6.42735559955562,0.25436898656898604,346,11,77,3,9,108,57,91,0.126,0.718,0.156,-0.0129,2,0,6,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,2,1,1,7,0,1,2,3,9,6,0,0,0,16,14,8,0,4,5,6,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,1,2,7,6,0,1,6,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,2,14,5,8,8,0,4,0,1,2,0,14,1,0,2,4,44,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156627352960191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3658473112512167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7178617417409306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11323137532857824,0.0,0.07657120126791311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823563001787296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08054517528506673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07160148597336012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14359702657580822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3254735851892905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155883888524638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467314574943845,0.0,0.2335776229056838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779883843321083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950416512577497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18875880764527786
addiction,presleymoore101,2020/03/14,"Friends influencing me to do drugs So I've been trying to quit coke for quite some time. I'm 18 and only started 4 months ago but have done it like 15 times on separate occasions with like a gram sharing with friends. Everytime afterwards I tell myself this is the last time and I mean it. I'll be good for quite some time with no urges or nothing and trying to get my life in shape. Then when the weeknd comes around I have friends calling me up wanting to hang and do some blow. I tell myself no but they always end up tempting me.
I have lots of friends but only like 2 who'd I consider my actual friends. The 2 close friends I have can never really hang out tho. I'm tired of this shit, I want to say NO and be done with this shit before I permanently fuck up my brain. Yet Ill get bored with nothing to do then i end up with my friends doing blow once again. I dont want to never do this shit again but Idk I guess I just have a hard time saying NO. I want this to be the last time i just need some advice is all?

How can I tell my friends no so I never have to do this again and avoid doing any drugs at all cost? Sorry for the bad message I'm really fucked up rn and regretting this decision as I always do.",1.6960547560547568,3.20760753667954,3.124915759915762,93.62699455949458,77.88030888030887,6.562372762372763,21.425236925236927,7.348242739294969,0.4389984555984556,948,25,222,12,22,310,123,259,0.217,0.615,0.16699999999999998,-0.9568,0,1,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,3,12,22,5,1,7,0,26,12,4,2,5,46,42,20,0,6,7,0,1,3,8,0,5,2,0,0,10,17,1,1,2,0,1,3,9,9,0,0,3,3,29,13,31,35,7,39,0,1,0,2,18,12,5,7,27,142,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.08103930296405934,0.0,0.0,0.08114997435180815,0.07361380262765055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13819909778496914,0.0,0.0,0.056473003381500735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07392707487369987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06933856062362874,0.0,0.0,0.07066462242832942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927049551896222,0.08479756276541346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715353513235102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699663978505745,0.09732735570132132,0.0,0.19261015437872198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14710528439113044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5132788492940011,0.15354632049559322,0.08677448711058433,0.0,0.0,0.0696536578929426,0.0,0.0,0.09148271025237543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07439142295723933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13538445247627034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058656677897480136,0.12171381901052206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07060133376227287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09045963870221896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06628520514514212,0.0,0.0,0.06157633073264938,0.1921467587955927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15936658051006153,0.0,0.0,0.08843951882577453,0.0,0.12631793538040625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649836541325877,0.0,0.0,0.10640066977314264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13208039510142336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557314851330104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09296134704747576,0.05877921593114615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21775325769715087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2905429578693267,0.09544726006856666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11276332029773492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959268288539036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,unknownalone012498,2020/03/14,"As an addict what would you need to hear The love of my life has been heavily addicted to any drug he can get as well as alcohol. He’s been doing a bit better lately and I have a bad problem of getting frustrated with him when he has a bad night/uses. What words does he need to hear from me, in your opinion?",4.018636363636362,3.8763925303030287,5.505606060606059,84.9784090909091,70.66666666666667,9.024242424242424,27.10606060606061,8.841846274778883,1.7566787878787884,241,7,54,4,4,82,50,66,0.174,0.7040000000000001,0.122,-0.5994,0,0,2,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,1,2,7,1,0,5,0,8,6,0,0,0,8,15,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,2,2,6,3,11,12,1,3,0,0,0,1,10,1,0,1,2,35,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40665518339186535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19932654857812585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683579182331906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31146249407617216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649563148137787,0.2036247822024721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16321949870706484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2162968142388509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19489154328099195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4204292557726497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21039571026265375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13174022526468582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16833600240145807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765952649371066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750305830581919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784685342356785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22435315777457895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16769832146312785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13249406470524214,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,detaoofficialmusic,2020/03/14,"The Life I used to live and how it has changed how I live now Hey guys,

​

My name is Devan. I started using when I was only 15, it all started with my wisdom teeth. Something completely innocent, right? Well, what I didn't know but would soon find out, they prescribed painkillers for certain procedures. They gave me Vicoden after my surgery. I had a pretty rough child hood, diagnosed with Diabetes Type 1 at the age of 10, dealt with a lot of depression issues from my diabetes and hormones being all sorts of out of wack. Unfortunately, I enjoyed Vicoden. My grandma (Not a day goes by I don't regret this) used to be prescribed Oxy. After my Vicoden prescription was out, I began sneaking Oxy's. The first time it was very intense. I ended up being so tired I passed out and woke up the next day for school, not realizing how dangerous what I had done truly was. Fast forward to age eighteen, my first love got me into smoking weed. This was during the rush of the fake Marijuana usage, K2, JWH-18 etc. We began smoking K2. I had a friend that seized in front of me, and had to be put in a medically induced coma over it. Oddly enough, you would think that would have been enough to stop me. It only stopped the substance I was using. ""A drug, is a drug, is a drug"". From there, it only got worse. At 21, I had become an alcoholic within a year. 5ths every night, 30 racks, whatever I could get. This lasted for a long time, until about age 23, when I met my current wife. I had quit drinking! I finally did it, and I was sober for some time. From everything this time. I thought that I had finally made it out. So, I thought. My wife and I went through a really hard time in our relationship, which caused us to separate. Over those few months, 2016-2017 we were separated, I began experimenting with harder substances. It started with Cocaine at a rock concert, from people I thought were my friend. They told me to just try it one time, if I didn't like it they wouldn't push me again. Who would have thought they would never have to push me again, because I would ask for it. Cocaine is very expensive, and harmful. One day, my buddy said he had a great deal from a guy he knew. So, we went and got the drop. I knew immediately after using, that it was not what I had thought it was. What we had been given was Shake and Bake, extremely dangerous, thermogenic amphetamines. ONE single use, transformed me into a full blown addict. For months, I slept from place to place, watched my ""friends"" kill themselves over this substance. Finally, I had a moment of clarity. Sitting there staring at a dub, asking myself, ""What the F\*ck are you doing to yourself?"". My dealer, who took me in when I was homeless, sat me down and he talked with me. He told me that I am a good kid, I have no charges, I'm smart, and in good conscious he couldn't keep feeding my addiction. He wanted me to get clean. This was following my moment of clarity, by only a few hours. So I did, I called the only person I knew who could help me. I called my wife and told her what was going on, I was so desperate to get clean.   


On my final comedown, I had been up for 5 days straight. I was hallucinating, desperate for it to end. My wife took me in, I slept for 3 days. Only waking up to use the restroom, eat 3 bowls of cereal just to throw it all back up (Graphic, I'm sorry, but this is important). My sober date is January 13th, 2017. I have not touched a single substance, no drugs or alcohol period. I started homeless and hopeless. I now am an Communications Engineer, I have two children, a house, cars, anything we could ever dream. This woman put aside everything for me, nursed me back to health, and stayed by my side while I recovered. As for my dealer, he did something for me that saved my life, literally. Not only did he stop providing my habits, but he was a Confidential Informant. ""Operation Freefall"" locked up the majority of people that used to use with me. He gave me a second chance at life, a chance to build a future, with my freedom and record intact. My wife, gave me a second chance at love, and showed me that there are things that drugs could never give me. She gave me hope, she gave me two beautiful children. In a beautiful symphony, I had been blessed and rehabilitated. All the pieces fell into a perfect picture, creating the man I am today.

​

Now, as the title states, ""How did this affect how I live my life today?"". I am a musician, an engineer, a father, a husband, a brother, a son, and at the end of the day, a man (at least now). I went through some unimaginable hard times. All addicts have a story, and this is mine. A girl I used to use with never quit. She unfortunately had to have 2 valves on her heart replaced from an infection, and she tragically passed away December 23rd. I walked through the fires of hell, and gratefully, I made it out. Now, I spend my time trying to pull others out the same way that these people in my life did. I spread awareness, hope, and love. I work closely with people going through recovery, I write to those in rehab (Pen Pals) as well as a clothing like called DreamXL who the owner is an ex addict as well. We work hand in hand to change lives. He does it through speaking, his business and story. I change lives through my story, but also through music, by sharing the darkest parts of addiction with those who might not understand it.   


I can never change the things that I've done, the people I've hurt, and those that I've lost. But I can learn from them, and help mend others who might need that same hand that reached for me to pull me out of the flames. 

 ""God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,  
Courage to change the things I can,  
And wisdom to know the difference. "" 

​

January 13th, 2017 - Current. 

I'm grateful to be here.

​

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BFHtY4H9Oc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BFHtY4H9Oc)",4.008410961829689,5.812790778268553,4.56390206966179,84.49789209024193,72.31272084805653,7.626000854269407,26.927192948394364,8.315366998970973,1.7632513959538687,4619,164,901,75,91,1468,441,1132,0.08199999999999999,0.7559999999999999,0.162,0.9986,3,0,12,0,0,1,247.0,8,2,6,8,37,40,4,1,70,0,94,41,8,21,12,153,170,54,1,18,15,10,8,2,4,9,26,3,3,11,67,55,6,4,19,5,2,24,18,13,3,9,83,13,147,27,139,68,22,157,2,6,2,3,96,52,1,10,80,627,214,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21068826899183649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08261695352560969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030910921004893562,0.0,0.16752274665715206,0.1878712985312431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03180826021992631,0.0,0.07227098043604988,0.0,0.0363159196323308,0.059443793856957215,0.0,0.02356260979457746,0.04268938242519667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11840760530441682,0.0,0.0,0.03970744657121365,0.2453395314826128,0.0,0.04052710667849014,0.0,0.0,0.1234456237478665,0.0,0.0,0.1495685571419509,0.039849714467130135,0.033291913211623766,0.03923214746076773,0.0,0.04038432910641916,0.0,0.0,0.03382564398808514,0.07911121300887533,0.0,0.03786538496267477,0.22412699132630254,0.03955183618554413,0.0,0.0,0.1027056903779517,0.07987810138217863,0.043108494970713014,0.0,0.034963999455666576,0.03256695747134124,0.0,0.06947794223421422,0.0378102110090602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16937060570192514,0.035328291313845725,0.06575672250727996,0.0,0.0,0.08959001505509394,0.0,0.06058404796790962,0.037079636686305775,0.04393496732816895,0.06484087956326938,0.0927433980107868,0.04261524938039022,0.0,0.07654541810796801,0.0,0.0,0.06925128474838249,0.0,0.0,0.04108650545519048,0.0,0.04580418503148311,0.05181680164005818,0.0,0.0,0.07678262612708986,0.03806558010711827,0.04460056117755309,0.04137901112972126,0.0,0.0,0.04034386044209407,0.0,0.03435670785658978,0.04276399863468666,0.0,0.0424855357475763,0.0315074873427518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365093629747963,0.03776796662412594,0.0,0.17065725830311498,0.03420683348500926,0.0,0.0,0.042194494162787914,0.032861537483945644,0.10465796793975883,0.07314911607767056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03893899585704474,0.0,0.0820097966450234,0.0,0.0,0.061705172903464174,0.0,0.0,0.028660831073082108,0.11924681079144447,0.0,0.04110807805101528,0.03627337564722652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07857715212037122,0.20578230913189954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041857609508284765,0.0,0.13398618393425446,0.033750451576055066,0.08076865821283831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03932416349393784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771421108483988,0.0,0.08222479490478668,0.0,0.0,0.024762206404204384,0.0,0.0,0.041499032216069306,0.0,0.03300959055872545,0.036768010115362286,0.0,0.0,0.03911906520644405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059514187599033534,0.0,0.04326905212364588,0.10943563270927706,0.041199129482484664,0.0,0.0969473267533288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0310679487850406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10271777757327176,0.02476738651977024,0.0,0.15343147168410948,0.1803117645127039,0.04442612550414991,0.07327735908641818,0.11080426293392452,0.08589017409617013,0.05248592171439016,0.0,0.07551704872094213,0.04023930653536895,0.04649499663092106,0.3672231519668594,0.0,0.06378581619396954,0.02279863738896411,0.03068108214769624,0.0,0.0,0.10426150853566536,0.10749560985557104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05627992698647906,0.0,0.03939087599022036,0.164748590655726,0.0,0.1878712985312431,0.024891370096037795
addiction,alwayscold03,2020/03/15,"A possible breakdown? Hi guys!

So i posted a few months back about my addiction. I was addicted to ‘speed’ (which is basically meth powder). I’ve not been using speed anymore. At the moment a smoke a lot of weed and very rarely maybe something like cocaïne. Last friday night i used cocaïne and ketamine. I was with people that i barely knew, but i could defenitly trust, they are frequent users but very responsible. I felt really awkward that night because i wasn’t entirely comfortable. The next morning i had a hangover because of drinking i thought. I think that something has triggered me and it feels wrong. So saturday i felt aweful. The feeling usually goes away after a day so I didn’t feel panicked. Right now it’s sunday and i woke up fine, feeling happy maybe. After six hours i started to notice that I don’t function properly. I forget a lot and am in a total different world than usual... im a 20yo female by the way. Is this normal? Do any of you guys experience this?",2.036261140819964,4.833150582887704,3.6658622994652426,82.65800913547237,85.951871657754,6.111319073083779,25.97348484848485,7.492282038375204,1.873916399286988,777,34,135,14,24,257,125,187,0.081,0.785,0.134,0.889,1,0,5,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,1,0,6,7,0,1,13,0,14,3,0,3,1,27,27,10,0,2,3,0,6,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,9,6,1,0,9,1,0,0,4,2,0,1,11,6,21,5,15,15,4,28,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,2,21,90,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2732317816509009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08522101965584211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242824854404128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11774105258581286,0.09636235195571463,0.0,0.15278624399270244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10005679206486587,0.0,0.0,0.08082020011207748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130931378445076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12276462574014667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225857444274973,0.0,0.0,0.25345961922327365,0.0,0.2406512269677328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481704494860084,0.0,0.13340409629511574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12341368508568948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353657107951338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10215147410908833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061224391250050685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130829703402764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517989748543721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000281981180433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13327786900368913,0.23520623862945425,0.12278572738968302,0.0,0.14267618109495442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688021390118347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14127801520425531,0.12002068217658415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08028237411844545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10702149297496936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19295292980716408,0.0,0.0,0.08870122742336918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029916874365152,0.0,0.099489056913732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21647025669183045,0.27604170670355616,0.2068021191465872,0.0,0.09947215830176942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13701633571105462,0.0,0.0
addiction,Throwawaycauseynott,2020/03/15,"I need a different point of view My mother just relapsed recently and tried killing herself, shes addicted to a lot of drugs and she was 3 years clean. She beat me when I was a kid but I don't know why. If anyone would be comfortable telling me there story from a mother's point if view",2.3895000000000017,3.979025616666668,3.6433333333333344,90.315,76.16666666666666,7.466666666666668,25.333333333333336,8.238735603445708,1.4257333333333335,227,8,50,4,5,74,45,60,0.049,0.836,0.115,0.5574,1,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,1,0,4,0,6,2,0,0,0,10,8,6,1,4,4,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,10,1,4,4,1,5,0,0,2,0,8,2,0,3,3,32,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870766327719093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18413163087044698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2751315313400916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.305387776410783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2913438130811178,0.0,0.1447233465143397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238800378810964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952613431273605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4978779166369354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600139102611017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301684920293535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17878880663119628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376210412658584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18706733129818134,0.0,0.0,0.1695806498017885
addiction,yellowflower15,2020/03/15,A bit of advise needed please I was a total dick and didn't even really think about anything. I don't know much at all about Suboxone but was in a lot of pain. I had probably 3 drinks of vodka and just only an eighth of a 8mg strip of Suboxone that got from a friend for my aches. Now am stuck in bed full on dizzy. Was throwing up and still feel like it. Most likely will. So sick. I guess there's no feel better for stupid. If there is anything that would help. Would really appreciate knowing if anyone knows. Yes I know am a total idiot. Thank you.,0.972971014492753,3.0973574782608715,2.717934782608697,92.64530797101452,82.91304347826087,5.920289855072465,16.53985507246377,7.1686216300943375,-0.0621449275362318,430,8,95,6,12,142,83,115,0.21899999999999997,0.585,0.196,-0.5106,0,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,1,9,8,2,0,7,1,12,4,1,0,3,23,24,7,0,5,4,0,2,2,1,3,2,0,1,0,3,3,1,0,7,2,0,1,3,3,0,0,7,2,7,5,15,14,8,9,0,0,0,1,4,6,1,5,4,65,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13159106412784075,0.0,0.3097386516038895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16644412552631066,0.2054613601633694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18436049629419574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243017257329467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19031516981711274,0.13444730613629016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14539981265072602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15051758487893446,0.0,0.2073191825421512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12614385508236242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4137105413542676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18388618200264104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15999756414737318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13834576157992293,0.13954499725926658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14313158754934294,0.2002538815177656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.206582764686684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20290718803670527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24112643600578645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15029362027298632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732656513226875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205884391561318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26737816933151304,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Negro--Amigo,2020/03/15,"What's your guys' view on excluding psychedelics from your sobriety? So I'm currently in the middle of trying to fight a nasty drug habit; I've been a poly-substance abuser for years but it's in this past year that I've started to fixate on opioids. I've had similar stints with booze, clonazolam, adderall, and MDMA but nothing this bad. I've abused a lot of substances, but the only kind I've used and not developed a fixation of some sorts with is LSD and psilocybin. I enjoy but respect these substances unlike any other kind, and in fact it was in part due to these substances that I started to understand I was in fact an addict and that I need to stop. My question is, if (WHEN) I finally beat this thing, do you guys consider it safe to continue tripping occasionally? Is this me just trying to justify not fully letting go? Has anyone ever beaten an addiction but relapsed due to psychedelics? Am I way off base here?",6.9715168539325845,6.882215028089893,7.2621123595505574,74.70058426966294,64.4494382022472,10.490786516853934,35.21573033707865,10.125756701596842,3.528912808988765,737,31,134,15,10,240,112,178,0.091,0.769,0.141,0.9271,1,0,2,0,3,0,20.0,0,3,0,2,5,8,2,0,8,0,11,4,0,1,3,28,18,13,0,2,9,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,15,7,1,2,2,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,4,1,11,5,23,13,3,25,0,0,1,0,7,9,0,5,13,89,26,1,0.0,0.3736254185980961,0.0,0.34376630256271257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10722074368765692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024625954051108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13164754114587324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18284669450612254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426211918821274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17271935441507036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960727467106526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3122354116701278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3283772785581586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612278619254463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13404506681171333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11691002035274325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512882462246119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11991484569256344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17074082628841614,0.1505134864743043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17662605115404933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231987274676936,0.0,0.0,0.13181885660113296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104748685026428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140946352956533,0.0,0.0,0.16413962784381894,0.0,0.13617592233986453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12515080003036444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20306812298046206
addiction,AMonsterMask,2020/03/15,"The doctor said that I should stop taking medicine that I don't need. I don't know how else to pass the time. I went to the doctor recently (my first adult, non-pediatric doctor), and he basically said that I'm extremely depressed, and that it seems like I'm using caffeine and pain killers in an attempt to remedy that. He told me to drink less energy drinks, and only take medicine when I need to, because it could cause serious damage to me if I continue this.
  
  
I'm sitting at home now, staring at walls, feeling tingles in my fingers,  occasionally having full-body shivers for whatever reason. I haven't had any pain medicine in days, and I've only had one can of Monster. 
  
  
I normally would have had like three cans by now, and I would have taken naproxen or a few swings of Nyquil with each can. I would be switching between jitters and drowsiness for the next few hours and just enjoying the ride. 
  
  
Instead, I feel nothing. I feel empty, and I have no will to live. I have two more days until I work again, and now, I'm having to find creative ways to pass the time and ease some of the weird aches and pains that I'm dealing with.",7.528737824675325,6.186905209821429,7.365211038961037,78.52751623376625,63.86607142857143,10.288311688311687,35.54220779220779,9.095868883498916,2.9365857142857146,893,34,178,12,11,285,130,224,0.132,0.7859999999999999,0.083,-0.9041,0,0,2,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,3,8,10,0,0,9,0,22,10,1,4,0,38,42,17,0,9,3,0,4,2,0,5,7,2,1,1,9,15,2,1,7,2,0,4,4,7,0,4,8,7,19,3,24,27,6,28,0,2,1,0,7,6,0,4,18,116,28,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294622875120837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07435397273721697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13548516951384446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12530048350161813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09738599228500916,0.0,0.0,0.1573257591445694,0.1257494228740636,0.1050556805416578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.374535435604716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23897537885186826,0.0,0.0,0.10189328915332936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850205469277668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11148165810591397,0.10375067947100282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12234946311427546,0.0,0.12011942353526445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06703349913786562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11918027693845015,0.0,0.10770492099052777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18088375360902104,0.0,0.0,0.12972030438614615,0.0,0.11950822781254974,0.11703695616280632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08265246616655612,0.18553283402801546,0.3893655216074493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12540917259906104,0.1204342122339856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320496452263548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11104018188607508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197538887821572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18341793059103625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14224757083001946,0.0,0.0,0.11655099919155887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191504810108983,0.0,0.0,0.10534602555745456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09681696405646516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307074660876534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879823146263385,0.0,0.0,0.25993963157955946,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,dreamaboutdeath,2020/03/15,"Gambling and porn addiction I have a very addictive personality, and for most of my life (I'm 24) my addiction stayed at pornography. But ever since I went on a vacation to Las Vegas with my parents last year, I got that taste for gambling and it never went away. Between the stock market and going to my local casino, I've lost thousands, which is bad because I'm trying to save up for a car. I just lost a few hundred between slots and roulette. I used to think I had such good self control, but I can't seem to kick porn, and now gambling has its hooks in me.

Luckily, because of the coronavirus, my local casino will be closing for 2 weeks. So I'm looking forward to being able to actually save my paychecks for those two weeks, and hopefully find other, more productive ways to spend my time instead of going to the casino.

Thanks for reading.",5.1669090909090905,6.06683381212121,6.064848484848486,78.29727272727277,68.45454545454545,8.666666666666668,32.57575757575758,8.841846274778883,2.7649393939393945,669,29,123,11,11,221,106,165,0.034,0.8440000000000001,0.12300000000000001,0.9489,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,3,6,8,0,0,7,0,8,7,0,2,2,23,24,10,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,6,9,1,1,3,4,7,6,2,3,0,2,6,2,15,5,26,15,3,24,0,2,1,2,3,9,0,3,9,83,21,3,0.14478052923119786,0.0,0.14128491168722615,0.4734964418122782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360260730962954,0.0,0.12088569442130412,0.1765137336301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16238367447106816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13096227753134518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323267807968758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16456422246139032,0.12143503885344516,0.1157942151792382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14379973328268306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11801545492325145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10226276946492176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215791806461556,0.0,0.31609010072480026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11166366957961067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16076164409077054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12641677367933946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14481970889856974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13180275623568607,0.15103766744829653,0.0,0.0,0.11976394990075415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15431678049807696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13329445943852675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927695171498054,0.0,0.0,0.08442269088888579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09829647570444652,0.0,0.1414295396251829,0.0,0.0,0.12504389213981254,0.0,0.11945909925936925,0.0,0.1149200451247974,0.23226841504473675,0.0,0.0,0.26842600218274737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323391400878228
addiction,TonyShasta,2020/03/15,Had 4 months clean from meth :/ Relapsed tonight. I feel kinds of weird and creepy. :(,1.1660000000000004,3.3691042666666675,-1.0533333333333308,111.52000000000002,106.33333333333334,2.0,18.333333333333336,3.1291,-1.3616666666666664,64,2,14,0,3,16,15,15,0.33799999999999997,0.531,0.13,-0.5106,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35959256553703656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7405816246517526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5676548634854306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Throwaway069312,2020/03/15,"Why should I stop using drugs and alcohol for her? This is a throw away account. 

​

I want to start by saying, I know this already sounds terrible, but I truly, genuinely do not get it and I need a serious perspective change. Long post, sorry!

​

My wife and i have been together for 8 years. I am 12 years older than she is. She met me in a bar and took me home, that night. I was a junkie. Cocaine, heroin, crack, pills.. I would do any of it, if it meant feeling good. I had been doing all of these things since a young teen and everyone loved me for the party animal that I was. I was shooting up and drinking around the clock - literally. I never ate or slept (except a few hours every week) and partied ALL the time. It never stopped, for me. 

​

After a year, I stopped shooting up. I knew my health was declining and I couldn't keep the party up. My wife (girlfriend at the time) was trying to change me into someone that didnt drink or do drugs. I also went to alcohol detox for the first time, but it didnt stick. I drank the moment I got out. She had kicked me out several times over the year for staying gone for days, bringing friends over to party (she never ever drank or did drugs. She went to work and school), and she was tired of it. Each time, she would ask for me back. We really did have fun, though. She was down for anything. We went out every night. 

​

Fast forward some years later. I had completely stopped using hard drugs. I only used opioids and drank. I decided to switch to methadone because it promised a better life. Each of the drugs caused bad side effects. I went to detox again to get off of methadone and alcohol. It stuck for a while, but after a few months I was drinking. again. She was still down to go out with me, whenever I pleased. 

​

I went to detox for the 3rd time. I came out and it stuck another few months. But, the same scenario repeated itself again. I went to detox again. 

​

This time, it stuck a little longer. I started snorting cocaine again, though. We were married by this point. She truly did try to have fun with me, even though she said she couldn't stand the cocaine use. She begged me to stop, but would just go out with me again the next weekend. We fought. We broke up over it several times. The drinking got awful, again and I had to go to detox again. 

​

This time, something really changed with the way I view alcohol. I stopped drinking, for good. But, occasionally I have had a drink (yes, this is considered not drinking, for me, as I seriously used to drink around the clock. One or two drinks once a week is nothing to me). The times that I have really went all out, and my wife comes out with me, we have such a bad time. We fight. She cant hold back her anger for me using coke and drinking. She says she absolutely hates it, but is still going out with me. (I dont understand why!!!). 

​

Finally, my wife decided that I could not drink or use drugs around her, anymore. The first couple of weeks, I stuck to it. Then, got her to come out with me again. Of course, we fought really bad and shes absolutely refused to be around it ever again. 

​

She says she wants to go out with me, just without the drugs and alcohol. She says she cant relive the terrible nights we have had because they really take a toll on her mental health, when I can just sleep it off and be fine by Sunday. 

​

We used to go out and have so much fun. We never made plans. We just went where the party took us. Now, she demands to know if drugs or alcohol will be involved, if so, she wont go. But, I'm not going out without coke or alcohol. It isn't fun to me! 

​

Last night, she said we could try something different. We could go to dinner, then ice cream, then to an arcade. I refused, without drugs or alcohol. I ended up going out without her (she had planned the night around me and didnt even pick anything up for dinner) and ended up staying gone until today at 4. I've slept since then. She was so angry at me. I feel like a prisoner. I feel like a teenager on lock down. 

​

Why doesnt she want me to go out? Why should I have to stop using drugs and alcohol, when it makes me happy. Seriously, what is the harm in it and why cant she accept that I will use and drink?  

​

Please, dont be rude. I genuinely do not understand what the big deal is. I am a man that is doing the same thing I've always done and I dont understand why it is so unacceptable now, when in the beginning it was perfect. 

​

TL:DR Wife wants me to stop using and I dont understand why I should.",1.5087133550488585,3.8740470694896882,2.62057535287731,92.67838094462542,82.64820846905538,5.7686905537459285,21.47927252985885,7.087006719466742,0.576985832790446,3585,113,757,48,100,1141,308,921,0.11599999999999999,0.773,0.111,-0.6919,1,0,40,2,1,0,208.0,15,0,1,8,42,32,6,0,45,2,83,54,3,16,10,180,168,64,0,19,33,5,4,2,2,9,29,7,1,1,39,75,30,12,16,14,1,29,28,16,0,4,62,14,129,16,118,88,12,175,0,1,2,1,74,51,0,12,94,526,168,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266857439237279,0.0,0.0,0.026008163559549182,0.018847530882225374,0.019610682285075776,0.3575068336555271,0.4009322579345944,0.016027226584674162,0.024713378023260853,0.0,0.0,0.023373383265115788,0.0,0.0,0.03878934352748747,0.10490375124365073,0.02203314381091257,0.0,0.02214315829277332,0.03624507792240395,0.05903554383300792,0.028733987945478507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.020844212789525925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026955813465818712,0.0,0.024211097604849272,0.07479628956246903,0.04060394226710245,0.024710874663655645,0.0,0.0,0.056452019146287,0.026077834009100388,0.0,0.015199579458753594,0.024297843598649026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024623817901468868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02411851510472686,0.1104873117637826,0.2770550948016268,0.27331701891988275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04174897001337642,0.0,0.0,0.031133230002440237,0.04263768519886302,0.03971455503276992,0.022520484666231147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03575046476586746,0.033674342656693765,0.0,0.02581787939125857,0.0,0.0400943038214125,0.0,0.0,0.01820878102405514,0.0,0.024626888662093047,0.0,0.1473382528355833,0.03953588053251162,0.056549077196829486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025088853516186945,0.021112533782514785,0.023268779713149137,0.0,0.05010392154195798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02364088877057185,0.0,0.0232099909447912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0209485544683757,0.0,0.0,0.025905001242880043,0.01921127942515295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.016646960690514998,0.023028525005592018,0.02362159047425111,0.0,0.020857170525258286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0212712769326552,0.022300859687472974,0.01573199812576671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02375126512918033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037623924298696335,0.0,0.01732538462251161,0.017475567896363942,0.072709187430644,0.0,0.0250651143798913,0.11058608826398797,0.0,0.022614383359467048,0.0,0.0,0.025099430212429,0.015970464516317288,0.017924725539860242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051741749276661884,0.02227962585152839,0.0,0.022571880456952628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07549216178990527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04483762913551221,0.07496971270974555,0.0,0.02385233974249812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05325085602111075,0.0,0.03899182031878265,0.0,0.02358528306208707,0.0,0.019969312202918428,0.036287999588422534,0.0,0.026382740133040025,0.03336347478577945,0.050241263605118866,0.03764328950598049,0.15763298109802154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.017720400176914317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031315412514873124,0.0,0.069467094273735,0.0,0.15117127634671973,0.027088250533995026,0.022339956938367204,0.0,0.05237041330800215,0.0480039092124152,0.0,0.023022767708492875,0.09814156912175273,0.02834971771729217,0.22390952687135435,0.0,0.0,0.055604687054537534,0.018707389637055875,0.0567151153121899,0.0,0.0,0.1747841225121941,0.14886683670286802,0.0,0.0,0.09087585546026186,0.0,0.017157975683725606,0.0,0.0,0.05022665208997378,0.0,0.4009322579345944,0.07588594117135868
addiction,Mayyyyonaise,2020/03/16,"I'm addicted to prescription amphetamines and it's slowly killing me Hello all, I need help and don't know who to turn to. Sorry for the long wall of text, just have a lot to get off my chest. 

I got prescribed Vyvanse for ADHD 2 years ago with great initial success. Like many who have used this medication, I started at 30mg and my life instantly changed for the better. I lost weight, improved my grades, and pretty much got all my shit together. I was in love with the high it gave me and the increased motivation. I felt unstoppable and falsely believed that the feelings I was experiencing would continue every day for the rest of my life. 

Eventually I slowly started upping my dosages and persuading my doctor that I needed more for it to remain effective. I am now prescribed 70mg (maximum prescribed dosage) and more recently in the past month I have been taking 140+mg every day. I don't want to take this much but I feel compelled to when I wake up in the morning and even if I overcome the initial urge and just take 70mg I end up taking more later in the day anyway as a booster because 70mg doesn't get me high anymore. I'm addicted to the rush of vyvanse, caffeine, and nicotine and it's hurting my cardiovascular health and my sleep patterns. I've been going to bed late and waking up early to take more because I keep thinking that if I take a big dose super early in the morning, I'll finally be tired by the time I should be in bed, but it never happens. 

As recently as one month ago I exercised regularly, maintained a healthy diet, and enjoyed a vibrant social life, but as of late I've started working from home and going out to socialize less and less, prioritizing getting high over exercise and socialization. With the corona quarantines in place in my city, I can't even go to the office to escape my living room because it's closed. 

​

I've been having major chest pains and sleeping problems this past week. I'm living a very sedentary lifestyle due to that fact that I am currently recovering from the flu, which I think I got in the first place from lack of sleep and lack of self care. As a result, I do not get tired enough to sleep well at night. I'm also worried about exercising at a high dose and hurting my heart even further. The vyvanse suppresses my appetite so much at this point that I'm also getting inadequate nutrition. I want to stop, but I'm worried I cannot maintain school/ the life I've built for myself without it.

​

I currently see a therapist and have talked to her about this but we go weeks inbetween meetings and I struggle to implement self-improvement strategies. What do I do? My health is declining rapidly and I'm in pain :( I'm worried that the part of me which wants to quit will cave in tomorrow morning and take another 140mg.",6.507408088235295,6.723961689338237,6.939632352941175,75.58772058823531,65.37867647058823,9.741176470588236,35.75,9.516144504307137,3.357547058823529,2245,102,410,40,32,733,257,544,0.124,0.784,0.091,-0.9598,2,1,0,0,0,0,55.0,1,0,0,9,14,18,2,1,29,0,26,33,10,5,4,71,76,41,1,12,11,0,4,1,0,3,20,0,4,1,24,31,2,3,8,3,0,6,8,9,1,2,11,6,51,9,69,60,19,77,0,3,1,1,14,34,1,3,38,264,75,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13481493637270212,0.07431165934935026,0.0,0.10962305124450293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889620025920416,0.0,0.1339927973899162,0.15026855362511807,0.0,0.06483764895630838,0.0,0.0,0.0613220587504641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307909152100865,0.0,0.0,0.0696650005717601,0.0,0.05468656491823251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06304321170705637,0.0,0.06541147553525031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963216800664794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06328904419627106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054765986654413214,0.06389036992270744,0.0,0.12252101488559752,0.0,0.10419451259342503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06252958977205109,0.0,0.05936970372853515,0.06773540222591781,0.0,0.05259540791779839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615268419048156,0.0,0.14056524962748032,0.0,0.14836131315760245,0.06817147629072254,0.0,0.0,0.05467901887549585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13145189917842093,0.0,0.07327280631441012,0.04144558480621936,0.2613212768748521,0.06202388219363384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13238773993712138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05496031418627697,0.06840942999062975,0.0,0.03398198690639718,0.0,0.13950140291125346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17469886834979256,0.030208646889324217,0.0,0.10919994515957457,0.05472056063989763,0.0,0.0,0.067498395533059,0.05256849498795488,0.05580700401676368,0.0,0.0,0.06268930223112394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06229058544649917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098709565068018,0.0,0.1363638599057706,0.09169727711930756,0.04768968416710693,0.0,0.0,0.058026401437820986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041899871842834786,0.0,0.13159006792364347,0.0,0.0,0.06695948224330744,0.11805384036188457,0.0,0.0,0.12920536072056096,0.0,0.058452493158953664,0.0,0.0,0.06290673686666416,0.0,0.05916615616903925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06576736893320348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12210592840455645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06257864180101415,0.04927316686018773,0.0,0.1290113191705642,0.0,0.0634710355460766,0.0,0.0,0.24751198355407866,0.1890939116242095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06921736241971871,0.1312978701709827,0.0,0.0,0.05169544144648131,0.0,0.0646416330416704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3254368380835104,0.049699296960476536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07179327422864587,0.0,0.0792406158576945,0.0,0.0,0.03605551814825372,0.14213665791140268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06725691867058059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0534041532543573,0.0,0.05101898169757658,0.10941271897878888,0.0,0.09919795218247583,0.07529635083899285,0.0555955990755798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059605133800312675,0.0,0.04501540838064223,0.1883842764910547,0.0,0.04392463106952544,0.0,0.15026855362511807,0.03981864405389295
addiction,xluzix,2020/03/16,"Opiate withdrawal day 2 almost 3 (using Tramadol?) I'm on day 2 of heroin withdrawal, it's been awhile since I started using it daily, like I'd say 6 months at least, so withdrawals are really bad! and it wouldn't even be possible if I didn't had some Tramadol to ease all of the bad symptoms of the withdrawal. I've had to take almost 1000mg to get to feel better and get back to normal... I know this dose can kill a person but my tolerance is so high that I don't worry much but I am still careful about no taking too much. It started yesterday morning and I took the 1000mg Tramadol to get through the day. This morning I woke up bad again, I was feeling like shit again so I had to take another bunch of pills to get to feel better and quit normal. Idk how I would feel if I didn't have any Tramadol since it helps me like methadone. I wonder how long will this last..! How many more days I'll wake up feeling like crap. Opiate withdrawal is no joke!
As for now I will keep with the Tramadol since I have no other option, but I know Tramadol does cause addiction as well as flu like symptoms once you have stopped taking it, so I don't want to go much further into it.",3.529774872912128,4.366271345679014,4.552607116920843,87.88202614379088,72.16872427983539,7.363737593802954,26.228274025659648,7.510576382923642,1.2216019849915276,919,29,196,10,17,300,130,243,0.154,0.6659999999999999,0.18,0.2268,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,3,16,16,3,0,6,0,22,9,3,6,1,37,49,19,1,7,5,0,5,5,0,4,6,1,0,1,12,6,0,2,8,1,0,2,8,6,1,0,9,6,19,10,26,35,8,25,0,0,0,0,4,7,2,7,21,120,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10915193258540684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20052310891563016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808899708613701,0.10499066169211584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07699058199518005,0.25080265451965034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17710631797593746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208495556000574,0.10285680716869176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25829150564757464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08762078757191033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06613216565320315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25313313758215233,0.14305982428810934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092464521537759,0.0,0.056903815942075116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711223252332785,0.10578843548062487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899643719518886,0.1107743947584621,0.0,0.11005307405022216,0.08161591413769835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24458211215144954,0.0,0.0,0.08860820776548882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10151187509432916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07991948134035365,0.0,0.2208120145140592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19620410711390066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066307399829227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742601172776594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11287682785802387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10649614372506823,0.0,0.0,0.06414316983643673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962407786640414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10277772447851884,0.2484753609156089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14173915402460294,0.0,0.07996061626583116,0.0837096762652439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20813814736250374,0.30112864995990324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11124347997108082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17295313687454758,0.0,0.0,0.05905680803271893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09002514477426614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10858219031734828,0.0,0.10168263943126818,0.0,0.07112651607215399,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Limada89,2020/03/16,"Alcoholic family member, please help. Hi, I'm posting here for the first time to ask for help because I don't know what to do in this situation.
I have an uncle who is elder and alcoholic, also diabetic. I haven't seen in many years, because of his alcoholism he made sexual comments toward me and for that I could not stick around any longer. It's been 9 years since then.
Now that he is older things are getting worse, not only he is sick but he does not care about his well being at all, he is currently at a hospital and his daughter in law says she doesn't know anything about him and that he should go to his country for his last days. (He's a US citizen) They were his only family for about 30 years, before he got old and sick but now that he is in this situation they won't care about him at all.
 My mom is worried about him but she can't come to the country because she doesn't have a visa, plus she's sick as well.
I don't know what to do or how to help him, plus I don't know If I could even go see him. I don't think I can handle that because I've had bad experiences with alcoholism since I was young... 

Please excuse my English and if you have any advice please let me know. Thank you",3.4549314112996967,3.987483063241108,4.719255986979771,87.73494536154385,72.12252964426878,8.166379911648455,24.36851894908161,8.313332769828598,1.1614321785631243,937,24,213,14,17,311,126,253,0.106,0.7979999999999999,0.096,-0.774,1,0,4,0,0,0,24.0,1,2,2,1,14,6,0,0,6,0,31,8,0,2,2,34,50,18,0,5,9,2,0,0,0,2,8,1,0,1,12,11,4,0,6,0,1,3,12,1,2,1,7,3,34,5,30,37,2,27,0,0,2,0,41,9,0,3,14,140,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709330798853476,0.0,0.42474190431346903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945804639015107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13513622780918216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176470108233855,0.08845134341368623,0.09288805913030293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296133518077531,0.24227540057239536,0.0,0.08454792505026143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026080042417885,0.0,0.0,0.08558972388593065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586615309337802,0.0,0.0,0.064078891675058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08695048551793415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06562625229976682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09719301148948896,0.1873352717088533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845154485468191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051911427390287146,0.0,0.11293699956590605,0.0,0.07946715898408753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997964648733625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730279105730065,0.08099154957308237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10160219155825834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09401670461028873,0.0,0.10073530574059147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163690704539304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426146188946388,0.0,0.0,0.15113530598537206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3272018764704473,0.0,0.0,0.09515928296755873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07901495091812137,0.0,0.0,0.07917694649349427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16438301054320664,0.2233692976234104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09147721225540674,0.0,0.0,0.0660102778417549,0.06366578811220648,0.0,0.0,0.0579375350344311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11951768110127732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17867289860914656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009047637244496,0.101256188752322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919534820226429
addiction,ciciraine,2020/03/16,"I literally can’t live without my substance. I’m 20 and I’ve been addicted to food my whole life. From childhood it’s always been a constant problem for me. I’ve used food as a coping mechanism for my problems, and in turn it’s caused me to spend hundreds of dollars a month on fast food and things of that nature. I’m only 20 and I’m now over 300lbs. My addiction is going to kill me if I don’t stop, but I can’t live without food. I’m lost.",-0.1231771321462034,1.9386606185567032,2.447029053420806,93.22475164011247,87.1443298969072,5.176757263355202,22.220243673851925,6.574015621080383,0.4723896907216498,348,13,79,4,11,120,59,97,0.095,0.8759999999999999,0.028999999999999998,-0.5729,0,0,0,0,0,1,9.0,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,0,3,0,6,7,0,2,0,13,14,7,1,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,4,4,1,0,0,2,1,5,4,0,0,3,0,10,0,14,11,1,10,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,1,6,45,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30732460848345977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172862703265546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14480012971022327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15232282353983476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6817758156404777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08010826075813868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15594637993467872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956104042076806,0.0,0.0,0.2489325834031018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15386958254470814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11250933781638367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10720301183999432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26975076010647503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11784511219883208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936445729989243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15331911103008436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217402977138466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15737178545015532,0.0,0.2717521500458083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,bottleofblue,2020/03/16,"nothing changes when you're addicted i've noticed how because im hooked on different forms of drugs and bad habits, there's always this idea that nothing has improved/changed in my mind . it demotivated me so much to the point where i relapsed several times, and just sort of accepted the bad things (fake friends, shitty social life, mild depression) and thought that nothing might improve. even now, i feel like nothing will ever improve, and instead be a bit different. 

it sucks, but i guess that's just something you have to deal with whilst sobering up.",9.608514851485149,8.873618762376237,7.9434455445544545,74.09041584158419,59.396039603960396,10.852277227722773,43.96237623762376,9.888512548439397,4.432539009900991,449,24,77,7,5,134,79,101,0.141,0.807,0.052000000000000005,-0.7877,2,0,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,0,11,8,1,0,3,0,5,3,0,1,1,18,9,8,0,0,3,0,1,1,1,2,3,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,6,3,8,5,3,10,0,1,0,0,4,5,1,3,6,47,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548062495624207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11867414522479353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23816926579159295,0.08694193829564678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557078807128386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3017534219625227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470385261439797,0.12284137832877635,0.0,0.0,0.2980223226452109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16539793528953434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09420145115089286,0.12901108619738538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211470744709356,0.10189022933259187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11019053249665324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15711582226014942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16100452775046303,0.15405781263736035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10073916867446572,0.06967861905820112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15130095396289747,0.1440090386508491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10484465460602928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5474042312159516,0.1623777561232349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13482527101418126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16112391524498787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14538665791686278,0.0,0.10979850854936904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09475269035877937,0.0,0.0,0.11322709716849795,0.08316488729874487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,misfitdaddy,2020/03/16,"Help?!Idk anymore..my story of addiction..don’t mind input just don’t degrade me please im trying my best.. Well long story short I have serious depression and pretty much cope with numerous addictions from sex/drugs/alcohol and everything else you can think of it mainly started when I was 12 and got worse as time progressed I was neglected as a teen and basically homeless I was molested for years when I was barely 3 or 4 and I’ve never really had a break things hit it’s worst when I lost my first kid at 18 then went through hell and back because the girl I had lost the kid with took it out on me even tho it was something medical she physically abused me and verbally well I just took it why not I was on so many drugs at the time and being the biggest man hoe you could imagine I couldn’t go a second without something well life fucked me and she got pregnant again but it stuck and I was excited and things looked up for me but no she was this monster and she took off while she was pregnant to spite me and gave me the promise of getting to be in my kids life well it was bs she told all my friends and most my family that I had beat her and raped her when I did no such thing and everyone believed her I was no where near to back up myself up and got delt the shit end of the stick well she gave birth and teased me with my kid sent pics here and there then disappeared I was already in such a shit state I was huge alcoholic and drank 24/7 she would continue this for few years and even after moving closer so I can finally meet my son I was give 5 miserable minutes with him all while getting degraded and stuff in front of him and just bunch bs then off she was again things spun out and I was drinking and popping pills left and right not to long after I got in some mess with my brother cuz he went and jacked all my stuff from my house cuz he was a dick I persuaded him to come over to get high and as soon as he got in distance I beat the fuck outta him my older “thug “brother was completely pumbled and he had my father and grandmother mad at me because family doesn’t do that etc etc needless to say I was mad and packed up and left last thing me and my dad talked bout was pretty much arguing and telling me to be kind to him because he doesn’t know better yep ..so I moved and stayed to myself for most part and life came crashing down again..this time my father was diagnosed with cancer and had maybe a year left this effected me a lot and I was just getting settled in to my new place and job and had planned to go stay at hospital with him  for bit we talked every day and I was promised so much and my worries were put to rest a bit well my phone ended up running outta service and I didn’t get paid for another 2 weeks I had no way of getting ahold of him and my bday was coming so one my buddies turned my phone on And I was flooded with messages and missed calls turns out my father passed on my bday and I just lost it still makes me tear up thinking about that exact moment...worst of all the funeral was a bunch of drama and my baby mama ended up being there for some reason and I got to see my son for first time in years my grandma forced me to get close to them I was not wanting to but I did and felt something for once and was genuinely happy I was promised more time if I stayed few extra days in town well I stayed 2 weeks and not one call or visit I spent 20 hrs on a greyhound back home and I was in the worst mood ..got home and began coping ..well alcohol was my buddy until some co workers turned me onto coke and meth ,coke was my stuff for most part id run through a 8ball every other day plus I shared with sum friends just to “keep “ there company eventually coke wasn’t enough for the depression and pain I had and I turned to meth originally meth was a once a month thing since it was so intense but quickly I replaced coke and stuck with meth ever since I was hardcore on it binging for months and combining all sorts things and snorting and smoking it like nothing I was hardcore on it for 2 years ended up In hospital numerous times and struggled to get sober at first I’d go a week or 2 then come back and binge in the worse way eventually I got to the lowest point and I hated meth but had todo it even tho I was getting nothing from it but I was able to get sober and stay sober for almost a year literally days shy of it then a old buddy came on the anniversary of my dads death and well I caved in and broke it I would get fucked up for few weeks then quit in a huge struggle I would throw my stuff away and start with withdrawals I did this nearly every few months then got into pills yet again and Then again got sober yet again then got on meth again ended in the hospital recently since my tolerance was low I was hitting it like if I was on it constant and stopped for good while but recently have struggled again and used for a week threw away my stuff in anger and disgust then week later back on it and this is kinda were I’m at currently been a week and been up for most of it I neglected to mention a lot of other issues but it’s not really important I guess plus it took effort to even open up now..I’m in a shit mood due to arguing with my wife and all this bs and I’m close to just dropping everything and going or just snorting my whole bag it’s a pretty big sac I planned to be positive instead of negative I had a solid plan to get sober and stay sober I don’t wanna die and don’t wanna use it’s almost like breathing it just happens worst of all when there’s so much negativity and bs to deal with I was doing good living off a bump or 2 a day I was happy I started new job and felt confident and happy and was sticking to my plan for sobriety I was taking what I learned from numerous times of use and withdrawals etc and really tried to do better I couldn’t just go cold turkey couldn’t afford to sleep for days and recover so slowly I was wheening myself so withdrawals didn’t take such a toll and it wouldn’t effect work but bs happened and no matter what I said or anything it was disgarded because it was to much of a burden for her 1-I’m not bad or ugly on stuff Im very happy and productive I accomplished months of work that had to b done to our house in 3 days and even took my wife out and spoiled her  2-she told me to be honest and open up to her because the way she can be I hide when I fuck up and use and only tell her once I wanted to get rid my stuff and be clean just to have some support she can be very ugly and make things worse so I keep to myself and only have myself as support and what not to get sober  but apparently all I do is talk about drugs and bs everything she said was bullshit and wouldn’t even let me talk because a druggy is a druggy and will make excuses I’ve never had the need to I’m the most open person I’ve told plenty I’ve done drugs and struggle with addiction its nun to brag bout but I’m honest it’s nice to get props for coming a long way but yeah it was a cluster fuck so I gave in and I was that druggy I broke my plan and I’ve take lines every few hours I don’t get nun from it it’s pointless but it helps the pain just lil and I’ll take what I can get ..I pretty much ignored her after the argument and struggled not to give in but I did and I stayed to myself until I had to go to work I wasn’t even excited to go I was all fucked up and didn’t care then received all these texts from her at work  and how’s she’s done and all this stuff cuz it’s a stress on her and she has to be there for me all of it’s bs because she zones me out when I try talking I don’t even come to her cuz I know the outcome and she made everything about her but nothing was valid so I’ve used more than I have in forever I got past a point of fear and more less like fuck it I looked up a drug help group thingy because I didn’t want this def at the extent I’m going I want help it’s very hard to do it alone and so I told her few hours ago that I’m going to go to one but she got mad because I need something other than her it was another cluster fuck and I snorted half my bag and now I’m here typing so I don’t focus on my chest bursting I’m sorry to bore anyone with this I’m just talking and opening I’m not one those proud users I find it stupid that I was when I was at my worse I’ve learned and grown but can’t escape addiction especially since I know what works best for me I’ve come along way just to fuck up again and feel like shit and just wanna be high and happy but can’t achieve neither ugh I’m sorry for this I’m gonna go smoke and try not todo another line ...",1.5164737028813169,3.270853962922576,2.9830263693815624,93.35379971357624,79.16357688113413,6.120476672228719,21.35353628253472,7.045059514047949,0.3877976350330439,6784,189,1539,78,166,2217,554,1834,0.157,0.7240000000000001,0.11800000000000001,-0.9979,6,1,26,0,1,1,32.0,2,2,1,31,92,103,27,8,56,2,137,43,8,18,16,302,286,201,3,20,53,11,4,5,2,7,19,3,3,7,84,161,8,6,15,2,2,40,42,60,9,9,131,14,209,41,221,130,60,269,3,12,3,11,108,99,15,25,120,1048,293,14,0.02634554350477044,0.031215160997998287,0.0,0.08616159350542922,0.0,0.0,0.023353734717844958,0.08446612144559335,0.05276251242830599,0.027286037670740282,0.029072962380954425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287679842501991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01842141658293317,0.0,0.02168013751863895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04950501072998301,0.10129048370909637,0.021997428372395957,0.14453998911012642,0.0,0.0,0.029682405734952327,0.055296045034778606,0.04660098456417125,0.05752502014252998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05380349105344072,0.06026456647317058,0.0268610374415456,0.0,0.0,0.13616611761307806,0.02762280111981091,0.028470173102858487,0.0,0.021034772732173246,0.0,0.0,0.1189348723369961,0.027161098524485058,0.045382756032311435,0.026740172088007923,0.027342514733054976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08088191394814033,0.0,0.02580860278151026,0.1222098652361766,0.0,0.022008321011930784,0.0,0.11667165886812868,0.027221989048123868,0.08814673541319314,0.13920786411329936,0.023831052410895576,0.08878902670697278,0.02517429583227168,0.0947107029265436,0.0,0.049672467445940685,0.029646060939952337,0.01332109839102275,0.018821261543896503,0.050591706595022816,0.028860255149483125,0.024079349473596818,0.06722851753959179,0.0,0.0,0.04070900311767865,0.21920427399355216,0.23399580485358404,0.05054609192342312,0.16470057457754295,0.044194783871912204,0.27392219207556273,0.0,0.029022586393342507,0.0,0.04659455422754986,0.14022660477109491,0.023600432188158747,0.026010769876242137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063544988409934,0.05567102636700087,0.052853456439204055,0.0,0.0518901068931838,0.060798439968249275,0.0,0.0,0.05691541580623125,0.027497902631890742,0.05228777348886639,0.04683425914328712,0.0,0.0274348293987557,0.04343646514420897,0.02147513424923866,0.0,0.0,0.08587353031185903,0.026940103198811054,0.05582590952311268,0.06435550895813134,0.0,0.02326359758744449,0.06994493086744838,0.04424724249864708,0.0,0.08627781868486956,0.044796077924409074,0.0,0.0249287902728063,0.052757564597796895,0.026710246017274376,0.026467639532267984,0.0,0.0,0.02654036338930573,0.0,0.0,0.026601488669588648,0.0,0.08411504589744558,0.056002286737023114,0.11620203499856273,0.03906977337123533,0.04063861460423542,0.05088938017275999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07583777860819448,0.0,0.02764521611082078,0.0841714320211682,0.07140968842742977,0.040073946022071455,0.05606703157600845,0.0,0.0,0.05705931252238765,0.025149802335688237,0.0,0.023003912393380614,0.027525485599387157,0.02891949535000621,0.049810108488448177,0.0,0.0,0.10721155655283923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02648454791023725,0.0,0.02802172845437361,0.0,0.0,0.05063288935605766,0.027087606566978555,0.05202609172182071,0.0,0.0,0.02249895020346987,0.05012128988358793,0.020951033627681224,0.0,0.0,0.02099398720428586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10817328724805476,0.08717322333792275,0.0,0.026364569941212126,0.0,0.0,0.08112834606709042,0.0,0.05898335802434985,0.055942533877334284,0.19656590792986928,0.02103958507483558,0.022026054045335683,0.03017873107241456,0.13771041150974644,0.2412747535752219,0.0,0.059793221120796027,0.0,0.0,0.0792342798889747,0.12705329950610028,0.0460543325000091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14002246762320145,0.03376232098286998,0.0,0.0,0.10753608798016193,0.0,0.0,0.10069718332908673,0.14635434106030487,0.07154757869137761,0.11462554407971205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377045372981599,0.0,0.06521349755986862,0.0621571365944353,0.1045593307498812,0.14792964102588094,0.0,0.21319026825031526,0.04884516554725587,0.02377275522589903,0.029413858469477062,0.0,0.025396163795686325,0.0,0.09589934722690817,0.02675517827220888,0.10739343837644308,0.05614535464565516,0.0,0.0,0.10179399746699257
addiction,JRB_hopeless1982,2020/03/16,"Roommate has had it with me over duster: ""quit or I'm getting a new roommate"" I developed a duster addiction relatively recently - around November or December 2019. I don't know why it started when it started, it just did. My parents had 2 cans that had been sitting around for awhile, and I guess curiosity got the best of me, so I decided to try it with those. It was really, *really* nice, but nothing I was obsessing over. When it started out, a can lasted me days, cos I would do maybe 4 huffs in all and be done with it. I'm at a point now where I just tore through 8 cans in a night. 

Apparently, I make a lot of noise when I get high on duster. I scream, and vomit. I know this because my roommate and his girlfriend found me passed out in my own vomit one night after they had heard yelling from my room...easily one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. I didn't even know it happened till the next day, because they had texted my best friend saying they were worried, and she chewed me out for it (rightfully I suppose).

Even after they caught me, even after the embarrassment of knowing they know now, I kept doing it...and I went harder and harder. I've been able to hide it from most people, but my roommate has had to deal with it more than anyone else.

He told me straight up, I have to stop. Its already a problem that I often can't pay rent on time (because all my money goes to duster and weed) but the fact I'm always doing it and he's always having to hear me/worry about me is wearing him down. I can't blame him. But I don't know what to do.

Does anyone else have experience with duster addiction? How do you stop? How do you even begin to get yourself off of it? Its so different from any other drug I've had, and it's so easily accessible it's ridiculous. People compare it to whippits a lot but they're like 5x as intense as whippits to me, and the craving for more is just so overwhelming. The high is so quick you just want more and more and more. 

It's such a fucking pathetic, embarrassing addiction to have, but I have it. And I just need help. Or some people to talk to I guess. I have no money, no friends anymore because of this and I just want things to be ok.",2.297816210635002,4.084837136465328,3.7421923937360178,88.6471760454311,76.96420581655481,6.821751849939767,24.43692996041989,7.702957570686157,1.143673481328515,1708,58,364,25,39,563,203,447,0.096,0.802,0.102,-0.26,4,0,1,0,1,0,63.0,0,3,5,3,29,16,2,5,16,1,42,10,1,4,3,70,74,36,0,5,15,1,0,1,3,1,7,5,1,0,29,24,1,3,8,0,4,3,7,9,0,2,22,5,53,7,57,49,15,52,0,1,0,1,25,22,1,11,27,265,82,1,0.08781924429780145,0.0,0.0,0.2872078166757518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691071984647123,0.0,0.14614529261750595,0.0,0.0,0.059720097572709865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709309260853859,0.12281051502431513,0.17996238756250252,0.0,0.15635549237208146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21413518486073516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18432175774745954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327229493453565,0.0905377847409564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09175241891785216,0.0,0.0,0.07685121248845002,0.08986957710702681,0.0,0.0,0.10184244262064523,0.0,0.1467234197830247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320151304627167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590407211504834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628926855649253,0.13569786059885403,0.08118747625286761,0.1376457916198817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023707210559405,0.0,0.19348559684635003,0.0,0.07765826770503767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09897867083188837,0.0,0.05886338830259485,0.1855717064234312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28957895996653216,0.07158440518110716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06202932937113851,0.04290404684253435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14932156211219186,0.0,0.0,0.058620027496390274,0.0,0.08822623460584564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06511685689321575,0.0,0.08481637337916527,0.0933967625983166,0.16482482346945448,0.0,0.08426493340185688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119017185432193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09751287808582897,0.0,0.0,0.182648419566084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08301757154971892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08403115654499115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09340657619516182,0.0,0.0,0.11251851327488044,0.0,0.08671090915150605,0.0,0.0,0.07499715479412375,0.0,0.06983738787198054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18647673935146106,0.0,0.0,0.1468416410368351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705857820327222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05834320370519374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05120810757370306,0.0,0.0,0.08391505133758505,0.0,0.05962350227161325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359613121001147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08140931928742147,0.07924320856910917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17836941086395816,0.0,0.0623842714919469,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,drugaddict30,2020/03/16,Tired of starting over Spent almost a year in rehab and after numerous chances was finally kicked out for dirty piss. In same place I was this time last year. Homeless and spending every moment using heroin and meth. Im tired of hurting myself and family just repeating the same process over and over. I just want that desire to quit that I see so many recovering addicts have. I want that feeling where i want to get clean and not use idk what its gonna take for me to get there. Was told that some of us have to die for others to get sober and starting to accept im one of those thats gonna go on to the bitter end.,4.642854330708662,4.975171582677167,5.188651574803148,86.13762303149609,69.39370078740157,7.9248031496063,26.111220472440944,7.645422480735847,1.2167015748031496,489,13,103,5,8,157,81,127,0.172,0.71,0.11800000000000001,-0.9101,0,0,1,0,0,1,7.0,1,0,0,1,5,4,2,0,3,0,5,5,1,2,0,23,23,8,1,4,3,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,1,0,10,8,0,0,2,0,2,1,1,3,0,1,5,3,8,1,22,16,3,21,0,1,1,0,2,9,1,2,11,65,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17448279198313896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16027124335779258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16611107512175685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14176058698356847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13485263544065526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508849323471458,0.0,0.08092825393490281,0.0,0.0,0.17533164224186298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508652686185124,0.0,0.09096253675855986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17134141891153173,0.0,0.3457721794383973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13046560176897554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16226992015962025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084569235364613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672226585887177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17023743008900102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275425402397394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265744888043084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203409008585476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09332893879820704,0.36791770382136296,0.0,0.15293872516694398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19252559395521174,0.2764710206161538,0.0,0.0,0.2832124866803885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061394196945332
addiction,ANeonSea,2020/03/16,"Almost at the 2 year mark of being sober from an opiate addiction My family and friends don't know, my classmates do a bit but not how bad things got. A few more weeks and I'll have crossed the 2 year sober mark. I just wanted to tell someone",1.3094117647058852,3.3191007254901983,2.50172549019608,95.29376470588235,80.96078431372548,5.648627450980393,20.003921568627447,6.742157984588678,0.10377333333333373,191,5,43,2,5,61,41,51,0.0,0.878,0.122,0.7027,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,5,0,4,1,0,1,0,9,7,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,4,5,3,5,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,3,25,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3274908725575936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30081688134727924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508295187662185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32796954432806324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831994925604773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320957588450064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402650487997001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16509729326208605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545361308495224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262571284754648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995788301694137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771894013692175,0.0,0.2409705095758473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3869079446573869
addiction,jmdeman,2020/03/16,am i an addict? I don’t know if i’m a high functioning addict or just irresponsible but since ive been like 14 ive been abusing opioids a lot. for most of the time i’d take them in the midst of a panic attack or when im really depressed to help. im borderline and when i have bad episodes and such i abuse it as well as alcohol or any drug i can find. for the past year ive been doing them a lot more. i steal drugs from my mom (shes chronically ill) to get high. ive stolen so much and i feel like a horrible person. sometimes i can justify it because in my past shes abused me but other times i cant. im terrified by the thought of not having any drugs or alcohol at all. i feel like i need oxy but not in like the typical drug addict all the time way. i just need it to feel normal and to feel better at least once. so much of my life is just looking for more drugs or getting excited thinking about them and craving them. and the thing is i know this is probably bad and i might need help but i also in a way dont want it. i want to keep my high. sometimes it feels like its one of the only things i have,-0.024999999999998586,1.7718371016260157,2.541908943089432,94.36447317073171,84.48780487804878,6.049821138211383,19.596097560975608,7.24861992348623,0.2667114146341465,861,24,210,13,25,298,121,246,0.2,0.6629999999999999,0.13699999999999998,-0.9665,0,0,8,0,2,0,16.0,0,0,4,1,11,14,1,1,15,0,23,13,0,0,2,45,43,24,0,7,15,1,5,5,0,1,13,0,0,1,10,7,2,1,10,0,0,0,5,6,1,1,4,6,32,8,24,38,10,19,0,1,1,0,10,9,0,10,13,138,42,0,0.0,0.285562009101778,0.0,0.262740678590967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717136770856327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642462313283976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926512476843248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139601856148502,0.0,0.0,0.13415766869389012,0.048973269975473625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07105239010363716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06919496048727591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09415548162230464,0.0,0.4658325945515444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20310641252322092,0.17218034725657097,0.0,0.0,0.07342743284249054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394652836863845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769767178201664,0.2546443719950423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603363232298037,0.0,0.0,0.07140806319834997,0.0,0.0,0.0883032749919543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05674507149613905,0.1962453270279992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06746364619603433,0.0,0.0,0.13660090805228015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852258715555079,0.0,0.09409083861871168,0.0,0.0,0.11811527730256385,0.17870872073599994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871413576836228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555729711839516,0.05443907555577585,0.06110063279524525,0.0,0.09425927709762988,0.0,0.0,0.15338333155806916,0.0,0.07014800105923215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661790035321539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05146654933362188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06645638422798124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15891257787278504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06040414185348149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10674593129183327,0.051477315848890016,0.0,0.06377936018996809,0.14053711792040413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09477081135380984,0.12753705402400706,0.0,0.0,0.07223346720478523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05173500721695203
addiction,acid-castles,2020/03/17,"Today is officially my 90 days. I never thought I'd be here. 3 months ago, my roommate came home from work, and found me passed out in my own vomit. Rushed me to the hospital, I pneumonia and sepsis. I never used needles, but I religiously snorted heroin cut with fentanyl and xanax. Being in the hospital was a complete blur. I only remember the last 3-4 days of the entire 12 that I was there. I went through withdraw in there but I was so sick from sepsis that it oddly made me not even have the energy to focus on the withdraw. I did it cold turkey, no suboxone or methadone, and I'm thankful for that. The last two to three months before I got sick are a complete blank spot in my memory. Now I see a doctor regularly, he put me on a pill version of vivotrol and something to help me with depression. I've been looking for a job, I was a stripper but I just turned 23, it's time to grow up and take responsibility for my actions and not put myself in an environment that could cause a relapse. I used to think it was a cliche for people to say if I can do it anyone can, but here I am. ❤",2.9600470588235304,4.150350395555557,4.885542483660135,83.60917647058824,73.93333333333334,7.605228758169935,26.568627450980397,8.124751697461798,1.5983411764705882,849,30,178,13,17,292,133,225,0.11900000000000001,0.83,0.05,-0.9536,1,0,3,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,1,8,3,1,0,16,0,17,6,0,4,2,32,32,14,0,2,9,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,1,0,9,11,0,0,4,0,0,8,5,2,0,2,13,5,27,1,27,16,2,29,0,1,2,0,3,9,0,3,12,125,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184715697684918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10400098456586596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265649814769674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17011651138304734,0.0,0.15279477529083418,0.0,0.0,0.31189767627197484,0.0,0.0,0.1187550948873292,0.0,0.0,0.1918472566440172,0.0,0.12810771876375854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522395235368698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823996747152694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630834091204585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189592707197628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09969586622351813,0.0,0.14919622176285138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14759939603768574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24248244922425485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490235925849748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407393791208116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374423147849042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22943164610635505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11312186071499143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103116118683655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2990453037144168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16849102420106885,0.0,0.0,0.1182823326936821,0.0,0.0,0.1185248338193364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11450568729598545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118323756851476,0.0,0.0,0.1369378570531149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09530522822822404,0.0,0.1180812631528472,0.08673025439825681,0.0,0.140986119510792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16178410312555289,0.14529529705781144,0.0,0.0,0.2569235465500159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378815056194898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10828294866381263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,JennJacks-Sober,2020/03/17,"Sister of Addict - found way to understand For 15 years or so, my brother was an addict. I never understood what drove him to use. From week to week, month to month and year to year, he'd search for his next high. He'd come to family events high and unable to have a real conversation with anyone. It hurt me. He had been my best friend when we were growing up. 

A few years ago, I started working with families of addicts, as well as addicts themselves. It was an eye opening experience. 

I learned that there are so many families like mine. I learned that my brother wasn't simply searching for his next high, he was searching for a way to numb his pain--pain he'd endured as a teen and often at the hands of my father. 

Anyway, I help people share their stories of addiction. I help families cope and learn to understand. Feel free to leave a comment if you think sharing your story might be helpful.",4.329169230769228,5.755881811428576,4.8988571428571435,83.91668131868133,70.88571428571429,7.670329670329671,28.89010989010989,8.139509932561175,1.9413120879120889,707,27,136,10,13,226,109,175,0.038,0.795,0.16699999999999998,0.97,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,1,2,1,2,7,9,0,0,8,0,14,8,2,1,1,25,24,12,0,1,2,4,2,1,1,1,6,0,0,0,5,9,0,0,9,0,1,3,2,2,1,0,10,3,23,8,26,9,2,26,0,1,1,0,25,6,0,4,16,89,28,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5401234771534942,0.0,0.0,0.08783890747931353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06928729500509953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039907372945889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535881698965217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693080084545294,0.3736597443593658,0.0,0.05010379467048495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10864905101941867,0.07655808378469993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19925744710935145,0.3140878018062453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10607982817222808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104923915206287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04841125126627346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046353857348128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051207471980258,0.0,0.0,0.15818826888870596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07642570987974112,0.0,0.21077052046853087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21088133691445876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06869778170696464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11278816959319207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07013769056325304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06349402836273345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063161301588266,0.0,0.08558350499217289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15730892708684965,0.15897093987029118,0.0,0.08909543436379662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214001520668357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552474977694628
addiction,D4N13LS,2020/03/17,"I need help. I've had about 10 relapses since new years and I'm starting to think I've lost.
I have distractions during the day and it's okay but nights are horrible. It's just you and your thoughts and it's so much easier to just do it again.

I don't know what to do anymore..",-1.2086520947176669,0.8470976065573765,0.981202185792352,100.09981785063756,97.52459016393442,5.334061930783244,16.61384335154827,6.937597516519254,-0.0919194899817848,218,6,54,4,9,72,42,61,0.131,0.746,0.12300000000000001,-0.1236,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,1,5,3,0,1,1,1,6,0,0,0,0,11,13,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,5,1,4,10,1,6,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,31,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3326757038087312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21633713599281693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22484468682436606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843542379571399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3661826869071087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24659393369265686,0.24873150726351825,0.0,0.3239791568229557,0.0,0.3147965728999432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2774872409398782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23743283824103786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21494245454125688,0.0,0.2663093831182781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21601843945328947
addiction,Dynastistic9211,2020/03/17,"I am addicted to masturbating and I do not know how to stop 20 M here from the United States. 

I have come to this subreddit to ask for guidance for my addiction problem. I am absolutely addicted to masturbating (and perhaps porn as well). I naturally discovered masturbation when I was probably 4 years old, but I did not realize that it was masturbation until I was almost in middle school. Once I hit puberty, I was jacking it maybe once a day, more or less. At the time, it feels amazing and natural, but afterwards, there is an element of shame and dissatisfaction that lingers.

Although I am 20 and feel that my time with puberty is soon coming to an end if it hasn't already, I cannot help but feel that my amusement with masturbating is still very high, and I did not realize that it was an addiction until a few months ago. Here is a list of some reasons why I realized it was addiction:

1. I would skip important events, risk being late for school/classes (I'm in college), accidentally skip time to be with friends for the sake of masturbating (I enjoy lengthy sessions)
2. I would risk being caught by family members and roommates to an extreme degree (to this day surprisingly I have never been caught with dick in hand)
3. I would actually pay money (which I do not have a lot of) towards my desires (sex toys, porn memberships, Snapchat premiums)
4. I have a girlfriend as well, and although we have refused to engage in intercourse until marriage, we still engage in sexual activities in other ways, which for me, usually involves handjobs and fellatio. Sorry for the graphic image, but I think this is important because she is technically giving me masturbation, and I fear for this because I believe that it deteriorates my libido for actual intercourse. The positions that we do during this is always the same and we have done this a LOT. So much so that it is starting to become difficult for me to maintain an erection if I am not in a certain position. 
5. Although I still love my girlfriend very much, I know masturbation can have disastrous consequences long-term on romantic relationships, which I very much would like to preserve.
6. I lose/waste SO much time masturbating that I lose sleep. I will masturbate for around 2+ hours a session. Not because I cannot climax, but because I will edge myself continuously until I feel that it is the right time to finish.

Every time I am about to masturbate, I tell myself, ""This is the last time and then it's done."" But it's never the last time. I'll make other excuses, for example, since I'm currently on spring break, I could say ""Since I'm home doing nothing, and it's more difficult for me to masturbate in a college dorm, I should jack off as much as possible while I am at home and get it all out of my system so that I am satisfied when I return to college"", but the problem is that I believe this is what reinforced my addiction to begin with. It's also reached a point that as soon as I see something lewd or sexual, maybe on TV or in person, I have to make some time within the rest of the day to masturbate. There are some days when I can manage to not masturbate, however, but there are others where it can reach up to 4 times. These days, the common amount is twice a day. 

I do not know what to do. I thought I could beat this on my own because I find this subject kind of disturbing and embarrassing, but I am running out of options. I hate this addiction, and although it's one of the best experiences when doing it, there has never been a session where I did not feel disappointed in myself afterwards, especially now that I know what I am doing is contributing to my addiction. Any thoughts or ideas or guidance would be beyond appreciated.",7.251965449804434,7.0438527471751415,7.9899999999999975,70.11223598435463,63.901129943502816,11.668318122555414,36.65667101260321,11.20814326018867,4.225563189917427,2947,131,534,78,39,990,293,708,0.096,0.7979999999999999,0.106,0.8228,3,0,1,0,0,0,90.0,4,0,0,3,29,27,1,6,31,0,75,15,3,4,5,102,105,58,0,13,25,0,6,1,3,8,8,1,3,1,52,30,0,2,18,3,2,5,15,13,2,2,17,8,76,14,87,73,20,96,0,2,1,5,20,30,1,14,58,418,128,10,0.0,0.0,0.11394638202855285,0.5091669573072117,0.0,0.0,0.05175282961469214,0.0,0.05846194085733735,0.0,0.06442687161921873,0.046688704095086166,0.04857916657794828,0.0,0.0,0.039702306055508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051973069903796736,0.05458003693429763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17794806505973187,0.06447921573532041,0.0,0.1315548459477321,0.0612691467045001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058322532796787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932278303529851,0.0,0.0,0.22591245680528305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119491749022618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05170983189812418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049190027059238785,0.0,0.0,0.057109581215497,0.05503810793711732,0.06569688142427065,0.1476004895234947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05336082153864072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0451064064824576,0.0,0.03050260335722382,0.05600610169221948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057640928006411164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03913276020703905,0.06168463367542041,0.11712541735586222,0.0,0.05749529771525366,0.0,0.0,0.06590707486098303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0607967020494172,0.12834264022904845,0.0951795485545402,0.0658583414155665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02852288706809722,0.0,0.0,0.05166694083164482,0.0,0.13063083899517358,0.0,0.09926993760261164,0.05269275644853642,0.0,0.07794194474683858,0.0,0.11730673963422968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04660059398375548,0.0,0.21459037818498894,0.0,0.13508524371798278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05601987122667245,0.0,0.06126292759296504,0.12435155325820575,0.039561696262644434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05097760906122815,0.0,0.0,0.0551906170220012,0.06581783486287518,0.0,0.0,0.06294653297650164,0.1117289097287775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06002724207787944,0.0,0.06268127808491288,0.0,0.04985859223192658,0.0,0.046428345902060776,0.0,0.11817302108927158,0.04652353278151364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658971100077926,0.0,0.05842496339523776,0.0,0.0,0.044945931792696056,0.0,0.06535476476925242,0.041323646359591584,0.0,0.13987373857292792,0.048810635038225116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051029140556908936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03740934086846243,0.0,0.09269884361192487,0.3404348020261084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06430040597899639,0.1445157731116618,0.0,0.04634154917234738,0.0,0.0,0.10498629744825666,0.0,0.052681396168195616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073673303034752,0.0,0.0,0.037596609067429725
addiction,JSins69,2020/03/17,"Why I chose to quit So I’m a full time college student. I’m also a professional firefighter. So naturally I already don’t have much money. For months I’ve been spending $40-50 a week on vaping. At work I realized it wasn’t adding anything positive to my life. I at that point threw it in the trash can in our kitchen here at work. I’ve tried on multiple occasions to stop but this time I was serious. I need to focus more on school and work and this wasn’t my priority. I feel much better about myself. So guys take it from me, give it up it’s not adding to your life, in reality it’s taking away. It’s taking away money and your time. Just tell it no. It may not work for everyone but it at least has some success and I did it.",0.6244230769230761,2.6109827884615413,3.1894230769230774,89.56182692307692,83.2948717948718,6.976923076923077,21.28846153846154,8.07648339933343,1.0152,569,18,130,12,16,198,92,156,0.040999999999999995,0.882,0.078,0.81,0,0,0,0,1,0,17.0,1,2,0,7,7,3,0,0,4,0,10,3,0,0,0,15,19,10,0,1,5,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,14,4,1,1,2,0,3,1,6,1,0,0,6,1,15,2,22,12,6,22,0,0,0,0,6,15,0,2,6,86,29,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17826693583527822,0.1291860369434456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13293628744441488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035503040828041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14287183081494406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15436144831150025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816810946545834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15496695533750998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599531636404811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282054760593697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12894223929863896,0.0,0.2375056756122868,0.11978223428706243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15271053732858264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17182107564112015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16349034058715656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350573468143195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36438114141514505,0.0,0.14119587521108626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28259141325797554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967722735489792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12958020916649726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457676096075901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4704214879717553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,TheGreenbastard1989,2020/03/17,"How did you get past it?  Over this past Xmas I hit the lowest  point of my life, I swore To my self I would never get to that point again. But yet here I am In that same spot. Time and time again I Say I’ll get better but fuck up. How do people actually do it",-1.5689346246973381,0.22190508474576376,0.8971428571428568,103.64271186440679,91.3728813559322,4.049394673123486,10.123486682808716,5.288315135182226,-1.9108276029055693,196,1,54,1,7,66,41,59,0.11199999999999999,0.855,0.033,-0.6808,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,1,6,2,1,0,1,0,5,2,0,2,1,8,10,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,8,1,6,7,1,13,0,0,0,1,3,5,1,0,8,36,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.23377367029106602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21186923817794348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22146714982150395,0.37547689079574187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16920662416427965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18476159672012987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4573696895910543,0.16607908332526058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4529187457177456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905058262288342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24991083230285285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793759371649496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17017485255953366,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,lilybee36,2020/03/17,"When do I call it quits? My husband is an addict. He told me about his addiction when we were in the plane to Mexico for our honeymoon. 2.5 years later, a stint in rehab that he left after a week, several tries at going out of state to get clean, I don’t know how many weeks attempting to withdraw and do it himself, he is still using and only feels accepted by those he uses with. I don’t do drugs, and haven’t even experimented beyond the handful tries of weed over a decade ago. But the lies, manipulation, money, people stealing from my house, mood swings, anger, sudden bills and debts I have to pay for, I just don’t know when I give up and accept that I am enabling him more than helping him through it. He continues to distance himself from me, spending all of his time with people that supply him drugs or people that buy drugs off him. He says he wants to be clean and to be with me and move forward in our lives with common goals, but I fear he is just telling me what I want to hear, just to smooth it over for a bit until the next time I find burnt foils  or baggies. 

I keep telling myself there has to be a line, that I have to leave and let him figure it out and realize if he wants to overcome the addiction for himself. But every time that line is crossed, I just keep moving the line hoping that somehow I can help him. I’m just afraid I can’t and that really my actions are more harmful in the long run.",8.681264367816091,5.480531344827586,8.401896551724139,77.868591954023,63.13793103448275,11.321839080459773,34.856321839080465,8.841846274778883,2.669149425287357,1110,31,238,12,12,358,157,290,0.053,0.885,0.062,0.3589,1,0,3,0,0,0,29.0,3,0,0,4,15,9,1,2,13,0,23,8,1,4,1,48,40,21,0,5,11,1,3,0,0,0,7,2,2,0,15,17,0,2,8,0,6,7,5,5,0,0,2,5,37,3,43,34,4,40,0,0,0,0,33,14,0,5,20,163,52,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3654048797991805,0.0,0.0,0.09904144387601617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12197965598966146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11408829259825592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3887121799292624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379626870848141,0.0,0.0941369069192739,0.0,0.0,0.10929287200040726,0.0,0.1257267292021458,0.05649378288318226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10211872183500972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058374042559002914,0.10718109944445804,0.06349843907759503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12592724577144954,0.0,0.14977983243098902,0.0,0.0,0.11097258525153816,0.0,0.1289208204301371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198620593427838,0.0,0.0,0.12280720198085975,0.0,0.0,0.11830538832239774,0.12139440844007025,0.11425096461939015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986591790413094,0.09887707510335016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327615748812354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23750151338985764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882557099551178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497530531600002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23237746301453624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11883805650588936,0.0,0.0,0.07157676677164998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888517680897934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12622251143175736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08922730816034054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19531298281219606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19545107729958505,0.0,0.0,0.10676230752441468,0.0,0.15171396748829785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929967971969882,0.0,0.0,0.19770282879447654,0.0,0.1792453010960882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07195012281653602
addiction,multinipple,2020/03/17,"How to help a friend in recovery AND denial?? I (M 21) have a friend (F 21) who recently went to rehab and got clean from heroin, coke, and anything else she could find. Now she's been out for about four months, proudly considers herself four months sober, but her standard is constantly slipping. She's smoking weed almost every day, and occasionally binge drinking and dropping acid. In her defense, she's in intensive DBT, has an addiction therapist, med compliant, etc. 

She keeps trying to talk about making amends and helping her explain to people that things are different now and I just... can't do that to those people when I know it's not true. It's like she believes she crossed this magic threshold of sobriety and now she's a totally different person, but the same patterns are there, just toned down. 

The problem with confronting her is that she's VERY smart intellectually and socially, strongly protective of her denial, and is great at mental gymnastics. 

Can anyone relate? Any obvious course of action I should be taking? Anything to avoid/would make it worse?",6.47482605477424,8.283806316062176,6.233060695780902,74.92851036269431,66.15025906735751,9.244855662472245,32.95669874167284,9.606745405546679,3.3490905995558844,861,37,140,18,14,269,131,193,0.08199999999999999,0.758,0.16,0.946,2,1,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,2,10,11,2,0,6,0,14,4,0,3,3,34,22,14,0,3,5,0,0,1,2,1,2,0,1,1,10,12,2,3,3,1,0,3,2,3,0,2,3,1,19,8,20,16,3,19,0,0,0,0,24,6,0,1,10,95,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16385311419671408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15050734827129228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022116049696598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509577477249404,0.0,0.24737411907904225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693406917856927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16242479978027366,0.0,0.1200051976186884,0.0,0.0,0.09693339038637308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31407055174430115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472403109124241,0.0,0.0,0.1255593747515338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16762824961930847,0.0,0.0,0.12663726905929368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13737477123718356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23224838348382265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12021152275483014,0.1657102542220109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20149067522990355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13359674942478822,0.0,0.0,0.08260293007611556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343074887193142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006576458277464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669534207170898,0.0,0.15147068122408966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399418057459824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20840318829343066,0.13123930968592026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14382025025098336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14840667636155758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15321559627789458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11300960482576705,0.1208083436370671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17451406909723174,0.0998550359452981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020462810475816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401621451175895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13933294689821876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531722134511501,0.10677136798531774,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,sadnicedup,2020/03/17,Shit sucks I've been trying to reconnect with a friend since I've been sober and her girlfriend tells her not to because she thinks I'll get her to use again. That really makes me feel like shit and I've been trying to do better. Idk if I can fix this friendship though.  Please give me your experiences so I can get a clue of what to do....,3.3822535211267564,4.227137084507047,3.908563380281693,92.33185915492956,72.52112676056338,7.370140845070423,21.242253521126766,7.554174236665415,0.3747329577464793,267,5,62,3,5,84,48,71,0.14,0.68,0.18,0.4897,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,3,6,3,0,2,0,7,2,2,2,0,9,15,5,0,1,2,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,1,9,3,7,12,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,0,3,1,2,35,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14608020150031867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119390326318145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23441050423218315,0.0,0.0,0.12116742738337853,0.17119638144257887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18514258488005764,0.0,0.2504003875069877,0.2298811908322946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11707430167560018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15995924133992434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630489431072205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535172942494303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4919668987762692,0.19822980993239692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20945288538088733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535494092117478,0.2354416692502224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3253949408325953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20696901690886949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,sentrabeats,2020/03/17,"Pro Tip For Recovery: DO YOUR TAXES (Canada Tutorial) If you’re seriously recovering and have worked part time or worked at a crappy job during your addiction DO YOUR TAXES WHEN YOU GET SOBER.

Thankfully this process is complicated and lengthy enough to make it less appealing as an addict who wants immediate cash for their habit. I’m so thankful they don’t make it easier because this money is seriously helping me get back on my feet.

I started getting my life together and hadn’t filed my taxes in 6 years. I just filed for 2015/2016 and I got close to 8k back today! I’m using this money to pay off tickets / debt and help start my small business. This can be a very well timed boost for people in recovery. It’s seems like a daunting task when you’re constantly on something but when you’re straight, it’s not all that bad.

Step One: If you’re like me and havent filed for many years you may have to get physical copies of your T4 and provincial tax forms. Easiest way to do this is just to go in person and ask for the copies. I looked up Revenue Quebec and took the bus/metro to their offices in downtown Montreal. They were very pleasant and I was in and out in under an hour. The copies of my Relève 1s arrived 10 days later.

While I was there they gave me some dollar amounts that the Canadian government could use to identify me over the phone (amounts that would show in can govs records)

I also asked them to print my last two notice of assessment forms from the last two years I filed. For me it was 2013 and 2014.

Step 2: Call the Canadian government and use the information you now have on hand along with your address and SIN to identify yourself. They may have an address you’ve forgotten about so go through all your past addresses and write them in notes on your phone. Once they have successfully identified you they will send you the necessary forms. 

Step 3: Wait 10 business days for your tax forms to arrive. Once you have them head over to H&R block. Believe me filing paper taxes is complicated and you’re better off paying them the $100 bucks so you don’t have to do it yourself. They will ask you questions such as “we’re you single that year” and “did you live alone”.

These questions relate to tax credits you get from the government. If you had a girlfriend living with you for 2 weeks don’t mention it. If you lived with her or him for 5 years it’s better to be honest as you are common law at that point. 

Once the hour long appointment is over they will tell you how much you’re getting back and for 20 bucks they will take their fee out of the return so you don’t even need to pay on the spot. 


I had to figure this all out myself and it wasn’t easy. Let me know if you find this useful or have questions. 

😚",3.626450534759357,5.368745375000002,4.068582887700536,87.91385026737969,73.19117647058823,7.445454545454545,25.047459893048128,8.150884317080207,1.359736764705882,2180,69,447,34,44,684,259,544,0.043,0.84,0.11699999999999999,0.9923,2,1,1,0,0,0,43.0,0,26,16,5,20,15,0,0,21,0,45,6,3,7,3,68,78,41,0,9,12,0,1,2,1,7,3,0,3,1,23,27,0,2,8,2,19,7,8,4,1,3,12,2,67,11,68,55,15,68,1,0,1,0,64,29,0,15,33,289,90,20,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18201041135419932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08645980312036612,0.0,0.06675869371322038,0.0,0.09045023061842553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341267790041221,0.0,0.0,0.19257223166952095,0.06970207067738432,0.05088845622268252,0.0,0.0,0.09405304599189826,0.0,0.14766203870465286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524211722864375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021190951134188,0.0,0.06665175541612466,0.0,0.0,0.10767501334762404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625685568738344,0.0,0.05513756096285932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07629894233365214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616882170257196,0.0,0.09488688566404216,0.0,0.06676634989022415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856742660830642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11190937951475803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16442139676037862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284073077963754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045878265286328816,0.13609421064192442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536365912553387,0.058964187772849126,0.0815679389052172,0.0,0.2211423393406874,0.07387691616058101,0.0701019312737087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144670895490913,0.08463532301087791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061367191952382966,0.0618991469995776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09504220283099438,0.0,0.2667094991484721,0.0565680117870588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040039060268648,0.07969082886634947,0.057874319653264575,0.07289126257648673,0.0,0.0,0.07891530872460435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28054914039067336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07599679246244047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06426675900219912,0.0,0.0,0.11817473643367855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276635254127462,0.0,0.07296494582393202,0.1537138017391504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735538014289724,0.0,0.07912900380078307,0.0,0.09274902913041076,0.0,0.0,0.16309509266610334,0.0,0.0,0.2883986645211649,0.0,0.13775900646463599,0.0492384956853171,0.066262307925537,0.06696238772947449,0.0,0.07505828456021403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121548445848571,0.0,0.0,0.059301590644555466,0.0,0.0,0.2687909803918057
addiction,tw_wt,2020/03/18,"My brother is an addict He uses his smart phone. All. The. Time.

He has two beautiful kids. One newborn and one 4yo. His wife is a catch. She does everything in the house. She does everything with the kids. It’s so frustrating to watch. I  just wish he could be more with the kids, but he’s either working or playing on his stupid phone.

It’s so bad, the oldest asked him «please put away your phone , dad». And guess what, he said he had to finish the game first. 

We have all tried to talk with him. He did confess he had a problem once. But he’s in denial for the most. I see his marriage crumbling, his wife doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore. His self perception is badly distorted, he thinks he’s the perfect father and husband. I don’t know what to do, I feel so bad for his family.",0.6846393762183247,3.014444111111114,2.011806367771282,95.82523391812867,86.28395061728395,5.138921377517869,19.6374269005848,6.5966054737557815,0.1028222222222226,614,18,135,7,19,196,95,162,0.16899999999999998,0.7490000000000001,0.08199999999999999,-0.9676,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,1,1,0,3,4,9,2,0,11,0,14,1,0,1,3,28,24,9,0,4,5,5,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,5,4,8,0,0,5,2,0,2,2,6,0,4,4,4,19,3,15,18,5,10,1,0,2,0,44,4,0,3,4,82,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17918310632803355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630068191103371,0.0,0.0,0.13525914139333636,0.0,0.15365994074883355,0.0,0.1544271857189255,0.0,0.4117160149865804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13123280683582725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876754359572869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2954429681912797,0.0,0.15494955444471215,0.0,0.0831083441807894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13980956150507698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18106758378273768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896561952406832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033120716318102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750443328637077,0.22275719274280195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18042441415362334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15727598049743471,0.0,0.16523314058545974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634962253703955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13097835201612978,0.0,0.17146949397767056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13211109467987348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053190401505328,0.0,0.0,0.09584308557933713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11159366556425143,0.0,0.16056161355462278,0.0,0.0,0.1419593752502293,0.0,0.0,0.0969472739737428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890126880740166,0.0,0.0,0.11966034214442885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,R452991,2020/03/18,What are some non-drug stimulants or stimulating activities that aren't self destructive ? I'm reading about DBT methods but looking for what has helped others. Currently trying to jog or dance with music..,7.14590476190476,10.054423971428577,6.828571428571433,66.88476190476193,66.42857142857143,10.380952380952381,34.52380952380953,10.504223727775694,4.5622380952380945,169,8,24,5,3,53,32,35,0.0,0.8809999999999999,0.11900000000000001,0.4696,1,0,2,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,7,5,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,3,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,5,1,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,3,1,15,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5160973530865227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29829644807159195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3737158974980913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4451537442414296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4642668024777745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30214840603096405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,midvoliot,2020/03/18,"I'm having a real hard time with alcohol Been drinking 12-14 beers a night for 15 years. I developed anxiety/panic disorder 10years ago. I drink to stop it. During the hours of work, 3am to 3pm, I am a complete mess. Then I get home, drink and it all goes away.... Until the next day. Relentless cycle that's destroying my body/work/marriage.",1.5877018633540416,3.7796243333333344,3.645590062111804,86.48217391304352,81.02898550724638,7.421118012422363,24.349896480331264,8.418075326091056,1.7763026915113869,265,10,54,6,7,90,56,69,0.201,0.779,0.019,-0.8807,0,0,5,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,5,0,3,5,0,0,1,5,5,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,2,5,1,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,5,0,7,4,1,11,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,10,26,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801624543822068,0.2172047131595847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19095327460656888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21309617955255825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13107477406413945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329338248029552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5973016235907735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10618595981705094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18206560273421968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203869071686294,0.0,0.2001531902494295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21615099372660387,0.19072957344870964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23133477000464256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16992005797387913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185124947694306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29592631720440443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308816815711568
addiction,throwawayprogresspi,2020/03/18,"I'm through. I quit. I have had enough. Mercilessly medicated me. About 15 months ago I tried Adderall for the first time. I had done research but did not exactly know what to expect. Still, I thought it would be a one time experience. Well, what I got was far too good. What was that? An enthralling and tantalizing euphoria that dominated my life? Nah. What I got was inner peace within my head. Quiet. My constant ruminating thoughts ceased for the first time in as long as I could remember. Music sounded better too, but I couldn't quite place my finger on how. I felt like I could actually apply myself to what I wanted too. Wow.

I was already acquainted with a psychiatrist and therapist at the time and told them about my attention issues and the like. I didn't lie, I didn't even exaggerate. Script acquired. I'd convinced myself I needed this. A close friend of mine has been treated for ADHD from a young age and vividly remembers her father saying, ""here, take this, it will fix you"" upon her first ritalin prescription. I don't think that's an appropriate thing to say to a clueless child who's beliefs hinge on the words you say. Please don't tell children they are broken, they might just believe you. Regardless, I had convinced myself I was impaired in some way, and maybe I am, but this was not the solution.

I started college. I made so many friends. I met girls. Had a strained relationship. I joined some clubs. Academically I preformed highly and even made the deans list. But in reality, this was not sustainable. I was only functional 5 days a week and spent the other two eating ungodly portions of food and sleeping. I shouldn't even say functional, I was pushing myself far too hard. I was more sociable than ever and while socializing on the medication left me feeling oddly disconnected and awkward, people kept telling me how articulate and confident I seemed.

Tolerance. I was irrationally afraid of tolerance. I have read nearly every god damn post on this subreddit that mentions the word. I was taking weekends off, and two to three week-long breaks when I could afford it during the holidays. I told myself I was retaining the efficacy of my medication. In retrospect I was chasing the initial feelings it gave me. These were the only feelings I had anymore. I'd become oddly detached from reality and was structuring my existence entirely around a drug. This was very much turning into an addiction, but an addiction I was applauded for. From an outsider's perspective, I was accomplishing so much.

I was falling apart at the seams. Life got hard, life tends to get hard, its how it works. One day I let myself dose on Sunday due to workload. Then that became every week. Then I took an extra dose. ""Nothing to worry about, only this one time"". Hah. As my prescribed dose escalated so did my intake. This drug helped me pull my life together and I made so many excuses to rationalize my behavior to myself. I was up for two days, and when I seemed concerned my peers told me to give myself a break. Look at how hard of a worker I was! Look at my GPA! I should be proud! If only they knew. Well, they do know now because I've told them. I should never have relied so strictly on only my own perspective, it's innately flawed and bias.

I know that in about 14 days I'll start to feel normal. Thats what it typically takes. I do not care if my grades may begin to suffer. I can't swim against the current forever and be surprised when I get knocked by a wave. I refuse to medicate away who I am. Trade aspects of my personality in order to attain grades in order to make money. That's hollow. I feel hollow. I am typing this from my bed which I feel glued to. In the last week, I have ingested god knows how many hundreds of milligrams of these ever so snazzy mixed amphetamine salts. I am done. I woke up this morning and couldn't will myself to take my usual dose.",3.075791613179291,5.683515714092145,4.330167593781201,81.31296213093711,78.17344173441734,7.407245756668093,25.97068891741549,8.412272828100454,2.0760796747967487,3079,120,561,65,76,1009,354,738,0.063,0.809,0.128,0.9951,2,0,2,0,0,0,102.0,0,3,6,12,35,20,1,3,34,1,66,23,3,9,4,92,118,46,0,16,12,1,12,2,2,8,18,6,1,4,39,23,3,3,21,5,3,5,13,5,2,10,54,22,106,15,74,47,9,87,1,1,3,0,39,35,1,8,43,400,145,13,0.0,0.0,0.05773923668395009,0.12900326862612008,0.07110819625056074,0.0,0.05244868375791118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06529313740380778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05867855766235884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05267188533664609,0.0,0.0,0.05559009476597489,0.0,0.0,0.03606814104325028,0.06534618532432622,0.0,0.066661847896086,0.0,0.052329109920605035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603255143214644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06393937088202932,0.0,0.14172201871929455,0.0,0.0,0.15263334188255084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12109840182318825,0.0,0.0,0.13723172441818007,0.06054342954777594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06113615282935445,0.0,0.1172393194767103,0.10704132307901867,0.09970284494514617,0.0,0.0,0.057877460749856335,0.0,0.0,0.17950210155078206,0.0,0.0568103657088265,0.0,0.0,0.15098429859498771,0.07154593730865699,0.0,0.09142578934012888,0.0,0.06182546574504045,0.056759144148027824,0.0,0.0496271425331377,0.14196568162212533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120109043528587,0.0,0.06072323159773036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03965892840940406,0.06251402809183326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06175580979104987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300682996494118,0.048229653137078304,0.0,0.0,0.06428598664436244,0.06050308313214919,0.1671678646949301,0.05781279573832417,0.0,0.0,0.10472328027638292,0.09937209859619828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679580058541954,0.03949496522160203,0.17996058404126264,0.0594420067033463,0.0,0.0,0.238421330556964,0.0,0.0627676844396434,0.0,0.0,0.047227172600644456,0.0,0.08699028027421997,0.04387217318340493,0.045633854102755264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0579718804240085,0.05677309882380871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12028089545949658,0.22499888639194715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041019501847369334,0.051663039804643686,0.06181775664266921,0.0649484754527016,0.0,0.0,0.0566663958708078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12586447450997884,0.059183810562209366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06352407310467098,0.13405116419643567,0.0,0.0,0.1882104340767326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077282838911568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059210529192290424,0.0603141198177629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375854521479846,0.0,0.04725148064410095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779472850441858,0.0,0.10343052835694644,0.0,0.0,0.06869837489862902,0.03930845650653034,0.037912336454060766,0.0,0.09394524646330944,0.17250609681239046,0.0,0.0,0.22614946977641426,0.06573760166080829,0.040171051587317694,0.06435757475892594,0.17339502636909332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06516497134178477,0.04881963065849318,0.034898700785187066,0.04696464474479918,0.189843357373688,0.0,0.1063979139840964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04307486229558715,0.060087771872023375,0.0,0.0420311067425061,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,awalakaiehu,2020/03/18,"Lawrence from Intervention Season 4 Episode 10, Lawrence's story was very moving for me. I'm trying to find where i can see this episode online?
Specifically, Lawrence mentioned a sort of apparition of a woman that he would see that he had a name for. I'm trying to remember this name, its a long story but its very important to me. If anyone could recall the name or direct me to somewhere I can rewatch the episode I would appreciate it so much!",5.288643410852713,6.543185848837211,5.779069767441863,79.1587596899225,68.4186046511628,8.524031007751939,31.77519379844961,8.841846274778883,2.6242077519379845,357,15,66,6,6,115,54,86,0.0,0.9179999999999999,0.08199999999999999,0.7566,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,0,7,0,0,0,0,12,11,4,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,6,0,9,6,1,4,0,0,2,0,7,1,0,3,2,41,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18160901316191655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073729944044789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373881984479032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22985257066285805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760515181700007,0.1909311806404636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2942230668250783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4139418140119145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35267877206316145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4286083314445816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3690089885295062,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Babawawa789,2020/03/18,"Meth hands? My bf has a history of drug addiction and he is displaying different behaviors. He disappeared for a day and returns with a grungy looking hand. He is right handed. His Left hand has a dark discoloration that doesn’t wash off. It looks like mechanic grease when it’s worked it’s way into the creases of the skin.  It’s the pattern that makes me wonder. It extends from the left pointer finger to the thumb on the top side of the hand, not palm side. Also on top of left middle finger. Is this a side effect of smoking meth from a pipe?",2.8100000000000023,4.979037037037038,3.809037037037037,86.9896666666667,76.77777777777777,7.282962962962964,24.68888888888889,8.238735603445708,1.5918711111111117,432,15,85,8,10,139,69,108,0.017,0.8220000000000001,0.16,0.9282,1,0,3,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,0,13,0,6,12,9,2,0,8,10,4,0,0,1,0,8,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,8,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,11,3,1,14,10,0,19,0,0,2,0,5,14,0,1,4,49,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330830633771697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17098275556835718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13788893598730284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233846047907085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24795023459928425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6969113973097231,0.0,0.0,0.10445614034898013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35909095020140136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14271898037724393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825914780417116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16971140939481358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23186643559945594,0.15565529409186354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,whatismylifeaboot,2020/03/18,"Help. HELP.

I’m an alcoholic and I can’t admit it to myself or anyone else. But maybe I can admit it to you guys.

Today. 21 years old. Home with family, watching movies with mom. I have 2 glasses - no 3, glasses of wine. That’s enough right? Wrong. I go into our butler’s pantry and take a sip of whiskey. Another sip. And another. I come back masking the sent of the smell with tortilla chips and soda. Again. I go to the pantry and chug. I hold back the noises of my reaction and drink more soda and have another tortilla chip. Later I’m in bed. I should sleep now. But no, I need more. I go downstairs and chug as much whiskey as my throat can handle. More tortilla chips to chase the whiskey. I’m not even drunk. Maybe I am. But I don’t even feel the drunkness anymore. Only numb. I am drinking myself to passing out. Am I even drunk if I don’t feel the spins? I don’t puke from drinking, but if I don’t have a headache the next day i must’ve done something wrong.

At home, I have nothing to do but sip the alcohol my parents are stocking up on. Chug it in secret. Chug the wine, the whiskey, the vodka. Anything to feel that drunk.

What could I possibly be escaping? The fact that I meet guys on bumble and am not even fully broken up with my boyfriend? The fact that I think I belong in a mental institution? The fact that if I asked my parents to go to rehab it would cost more than my college tuition just to learn more bullshit 12 steps? I don’t need your fucking steps I need real help. A god wouldn’t do this to its creation. God isn’t real, and neither the devil. But evil and good are real, only in tastes that make us crave more until we get slammed with the harsh reality of the other.

I’m a smart girl who makes great grades in college. Im a good girl and follow my parents orders. But behind the scenes, I feel as evil as a demon. I feel as if I am a demon.

Can someone help me? does anyone understand? Please tell me I’m not alone. I see no more hope..... suicide beckons me everyday but I won’t. Not to my family. I won’t do that to them.

Please help me. I can’t tell these things to my doctors or else I’ll be hospitalized. Or should I be?

Help me. Anyone out there? Help me.",-0.2673608714408999,1.9941182741228085,1.7131291343111883,96.0948274374461,92.13596491228071,4.305953408110439,18.659620362381364,5.961963493670405,-0.2199798964624673,1687,51,374,15,61,556,200,456,0.094,0.75,0.156,0.9729,3,1,13,0,0,1,73.0,3,2,1,0,10,12,3,0,28,0,36,24,2,2,3,71,68,33,1,13,20,4,5,0,0,6,5,0,3,4,18,22,18,1,11,14,2,10,19,7,0,0,2,9,57,5,46,56,10,37,3,0,2,1,30,14,1,8,12,239,75,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16446873158961225,0.0,0.07969526590676355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24206110713780354,0.0,0.0,0.07631206905270613,0.16141218934075005,0.07884265982083832,0.06332192109724727,0.0,0.07193630348140513,0.0,0.0,0.118337035672679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0662841748443786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06143698203482713,0.0,0.0,0.04962530858592636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875987873530184,0.0673380041809173,0.0787448598794683,0.0,0.2261402134865589,0.0,0.0,0.12856091576008222,0.0,0.0,0.07950819689835821,0.0,0.20329459118790796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14508007901763995,0.0,0.19453694436204966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07113749332419915,0.040202327725053895,0.0,0.17492604218709426,0.12908122076445233,0.0,0.08483580806202409,0.0,0.15238189364258733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3610379161881358,0.0,0.1543709026514598,0.07642705636275576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08311740333290672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10272721870798496,0.0,0.15460988479909527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07754582056301047,0.0,0.0,0.09012095684204068,0.0,0.0,0.05656587806229382,0.171168640275489,0.0,0.0,0.08183542440888336,0.0,0.0,0.07383400019318807,0.0,0.08074433069350934,0.0,0.0,0.11704534834630785,0.0,0.0,0.25632605054436913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16893232352893905,0.0,0.08674768301978841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26275214502793104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06571345538422828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06131785834492552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700390351052983,0.0,0.06519807228928393,0.05923858559469342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416898636589785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05785556958544881,0.0,0.1345124682094288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05112105284765537,0.04930538432930205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293802173087817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08010592770001182,0.09255936941296758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05466188754249707,0.1682618437357192,0.0,0.04955220318011271
addiction,bighoecupajoe,2020/03/18,"Do I have to answer to recovery help hotline that will not stop calling? It’s been a week since I made a phone call to a crisis hotline for substance abuse problems. 


After giving them my information, unfortunately I was not comfortable proceeding with their admissions process for several reasons. The responders made repeated attempts to get me to exaggerate my symptoms for insurance purposes and would not stop double checking to see if I had any alcohol addictions to help build my case for insurance to cover inpatient treatment. I refused, and was ultimately unhappy with the options that would be covered by my insurance. 



They have been calling me and my mom *daily* for an update on my sobriety and even after talking to me about my plan for recovery, they will not leave me alone. Today I received yet another call from them and expressed that they were beginning to impede my recovery with the harassment I am already getting from my new sponsor and support network. Responder was rude and in disbelief, angrily hung up on me. What can I do to make the calls stop?",8.70574488338886,9.277783905759161,8.789148024750121,62.975306996668266,60.72774869109947,12.809328891004286,44.06520704426464,12.24349002098031,6.102388481675392,870,51,130,28,11,285,115,191,0.154,0.7559999999999999,0.091,-0.9461,0,1,1,0,1,0,15.0,0,0,6,2,3,5,2,0,8,0,18,3,0,4,0,29,27,8,0,4,5,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,5,10,1,4,3,0,1,1,4,3,0,0,9,1,28,2,30,13,1,18,0,0,1,0,23,4,0,2,13,104,33,0,0.0,0.14953069980165393,0.0,0.13758061746254927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13487333126469106,0.0,0.13070893044510412,0.1392688767618418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582281632243748,0.13233554112384185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6443402349830047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335632699479767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13187240668706735,0.12106605021247313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16918330571242834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336314532812541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388339086215463,0.08424192285542932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14780820097010072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218882809893754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075985818245408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297583813894767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005679771597251,0.0,0.0,0.14257421304826656,0.0,0.10439697147903026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3165357316733973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14321441747747213,0.0,0.13117392497488786,0.0,0.10143772117911228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11962631281484624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10123296334581004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793029178207181,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Thelongwayaround,2020/03/18,"My 11 years sober and how I got here. I’m made it one more year. 11 years of good days and bad days and some close calls. Along the way I made some guidelines to keep me on the path. If they help anyone else then maybe I can save them years of trying to figure some of this out. If not and these are already obvious then you are smarter than me.



1. You have to want to quit.

All the self-help books and all the support groups in the world are not going to help you if you don’t actually want to quit.

2. Find a reason to quit.

Any reason outside of yourself that can make you accountable. Start small and build from there.

3. Redirect the the urge to something good. 

As an addict I have the superhuman ability to pour all of myself into something that gives me joy. Replacing the bad behaviors with something beneficial can help help while keeping you busy.

4. Never get bored.

I’m a machine of habit when I get bored I get back into whatever habit that’s easiest for me. 

5. If needed remove the people and things that allow you to continue the addiction. 

This one sucks. It hurts to lose someone that was close to you but when the people around you aren’t helping you then you need to think about what you really need to do and sometimes that means cutting people out. This goes for inanimate objects as well.

6. Find anything that works for you.

What works for you may not help someone else. What works for me might seem alien and totally unreasonable to somebody else but as long as it keeps me clean then that’s what I need to do.


7. Get help if you need it.

You don’t have to do this alone. If you feel yourself falter or begin to fail there are thousands of people that know how to help and might even know exactly what you are going through.


You are all awesome.

You can do this.

Never stop.

Good luck to all of you and Happy St. Patrick’s Day.",1.641246630727764,4.021439805929923,2.498948113207547,93.66615801886795,82.20754716981132,5.650700808625338,20.32621293800539,6.961326702584282,0.3244053369272235,1452,41,309,18,40,455,176,371,0.064,0.778,0.159,0.9842,1,1,3,0,0,0,39.0,0,21,2,8,12,18,2,0,15,0,24,2,0,8,10,78,57,33,0,13,12,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,25,20,0,4,11,1,1,3,8,9,1,3,4,1,38,9,50,50,10,37,0,3,0,0,34,11,1,15,22,205,63,5,0.0,0.0,0.07422418730047121,0.16583459225985522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07877585732956185,0.08393477881640883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05172382568822987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05318334974307019,0.07793308737806011,0.06259140446342601,0.06771007216627965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058485917155105975,0.1270148711213816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07766639088831864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14715841090262216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19061664911041895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05023731814266745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038458531758517295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13903604631864902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589541259271392,0.07296427158048542,0.08645399940491308,0.1913881028283864,0.0608326212129551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08096793784831667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4588364359330812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08142446031344087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.202818505251328,0.0,0.0,0.08360184849581984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06731124982220857,0.0,0.08509237141347614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439407839002577,0.05077105040511656,0.0,0.0764131099137212,0.08285230648077295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613765831982328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2819899072677679,0.1173252688706504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10308128089883738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109234110424249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24269947613719295,0.0,0.0,0.048726376913926825,0.15640595795319912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06924272626657564,0.07934780851140401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12889182267944996,0.17566552971937194,0.07522589202162228,0.0,0.05383609400716512,0.0,0.0,0.06359007899740643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631268330575059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050531292164521416,0.04873657020039731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051640164094908785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08972504149307071,0.06037337499141294,0.0,0.0,0.0683876264173945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16611909841155198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959221664508299
addiction,AlexRel,2020/03/19,"Recreational drug use and relationship. (Recreational) drug use and relationship.

Hey there! 
I’d love to get your feedback on my situation. 

First, let me give you a little bit of a backroad about us: 
Gay couple. Married. We’ve been together for about 6 years. We’re  in an open relationship and it works well for us.

Situation: 
I found out that my husband is down to parTy(pnp, smoking crystal meth and then have sex).
I saw it when he was chatting with one of the guys on one of the dating apps. 

IMPORTANT: I asked him before seeing it if he tried T(crystal meth) or not. He said no, and he said he would never do it. 

Then I saw that he said definitely yes to pnp in one of the conversations on the app. 

We talked. He said, that yes he tried it one time only with one of his fuck buddies and he did not like it. 

My hubby has an additive personality. He likes to drink but it’s under control, he knows when it goes out of control and takes a step back and gets back to normal. He does smoke a lot of weed, but it doesn’t affect him in a negative way. 

I feel like he might be lying to me about that one and only time, as well as that he doesn’t like it. Why?  Because if I tried something and I don’t like it, I wouldn’t do it again, right? But in his conversation he was quite down to parTy and he sounded a bit exited about it. Granted the guy who texted him wanted to get fucked up and have sex. My hubby said “hellz yes!” I think it’s a clear indication of excitement lol. 

We talked. He blocked that guy who he partied with. He blocked the guy who asked him to parTy with him. 
He said that he doesn’t wanna see other guy except a couple of fuck buddies who according to him do not do drugs. 

He also mentioned that he part took in using heroine with one of his friends. But it’s only one time thing and he doesn’t like it (I kinda believe it, his friend ODied on heroine long time ago and after that he wouldn’t do it)

He doesn’t wanna use dating apps anyone because of what happened. He said that he wouldn’t use crystal meth again. 


What should I do in this situation? I don’t see changes in his behavior. In fact until our conversation, our relationship actually was getting better.

I’m afraid that he might be on a slow track of becoming addicted to T. 
I’m ok with light drugs. They won’t kill you, it’s easier to get off them. 
I’m worried that he might get off truck with crystal meth and then it will be a huge problem. 

What should I do? Now, I’m having trust issues with him. He does lie quite a bit. It’s just his personality, he’s a bullshiter! Nothing terribly huge until here recently. 
Should I stay with him? I do love him and we get along very well. We always sort things out. But I’m afraid if he goes get addicted to meth, it will be over for us.",1.000894220905053,3.2621442985865765,2.8349868915992253,90.99694745241085,83.92932862190813,5.9130970021657365,20.43645275276416,7.233258080335977,0.5081233101561602,2147,64,468,32,62,713,225,566,0.086,0.755,0.16,0.9924,0,0,12,0,0,0,74.0,9,3,2,7,18,25,4,2,20,5,43,15,0,8,3,84,89,35,1,15,14,1,1,6,2,13,6,8,0,7,45,35,1,4,4,2,0,2,17,8,3,9,16,15,50,17,73,55,5,59,0,0,5,8,100,29,3,10,32,290,95,2,0.0,0.0,0.05279485867148402,0.11795634522422925,0.0,0.0,0.04795735111049695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04326462131350774,0.045016439981720266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03782873932987705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10115443017782028,0.0,0.0,0.08320079593397825,0.0,0.0659590433917485,0.059750402275016476,0.0460360419910324,0.06095340085145463,0.0,0.047848016727087266,0.17719313133066353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05723177859559867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135794320677505,0.0,0.1197236518810284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468845509962977,0.0,0.0,0.05299847070363781,0.250960349045134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027355136145637667,0.03864982877935295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04601835865137263,0.0,0.05931905162627006,0.08359673428940036,0.15004675497430708,0.2261246884280621,0.051898694297122336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2678429192712401,0.04784141431606316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056467480994043424,0.0,0.0,0.059854839216475525,0.0,0.029732543639340095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05532202894602481,0.0,0.1585863559531588,0.054223504026993705,0.0,0.04787776128795545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04599481118008324,0.09765669010936437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17217811766024405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04172609505001968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05300758045449649,0.05191145399361247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29328238433646625,0.12343894817999328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058586207255937994,0.0,0.0,0.09447796824732176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05176743564505362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150863351361564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053418298566690905,0.2323372912015216,0.0,0.04620203438814082,0.3602376725327517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12933469028350653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18243567229093585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04164966143916602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057664562476921526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04067728595160637,0.08696881202339075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188471912838144,0.0346657933140684,0.0,0.0,0.12618712022164447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06010830049731883,0.11019326439209036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19523084626541795,0.2336298524172332,0.0,0.044639064335356006,0.03191022399304623,0.042942926236282535,0.0,0.0,0.14593012882587672,0.0,0.0488178179210535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03938623712047279,0.05494228199157445,0.0,0.038431861377438266,0.0,0.0,0.03483932753116471
addiction,Stillinroute96,2020/03/19,i need some advice on medication and dependency i have been on adhd medication for the past 10 years  (prescribed). I have never abused it or taken more than was prescribed. I am on a very high dose. I took a few days off of it because i was worried about having to go to the pharmacy to get more during a pandemic. The days that i did not take it i pretty much couldn't function because i was so tired and i slept over 12 hours a day. Does this mean that i am addicted to it? i do not have cravings for it or anything but i am kinda nervous now that i realized i was pretty bad at functioning without it. I don't want to be on it for ever and was going to try and stop it when school ended but im kinda nervous now. Can someone tell me if i should be worried about my seeming dependency on it and how i could taper off of it when school ends?,2.31180577849117,3.574702668539328,4.4831781701444635,85.5659550561798,75.68539325842697,7.108186195826645,25.63563402889245,7.7094869923839395,1.3148173354735149,657,23,141,9,14,228,98,178,0.14400000000000002,0.838,0.018000000000000002,-0.965,0,0,0,0,1,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,2,7,0,22,6,1,3,2,30,33,14,0,6,8,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,14,5,0,1,3,0,0,3,6,3,0,0,10,0,20,0,24,18,5,28,0,0,0,0,1,10,0,9,15,112,34,2,0.0,0.1660058041787673,0.0,0.15273907680213528,0.1683833342216045,0.13691252208084662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11529745637764666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11698484550691868,0.17081782883754956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11186533246924303,0.0,0.0,0.2710754073518703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12260999769232545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481893020704461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12673626832008847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320097127250233,0.0,0.15925391530214994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14803244971416255,0.0,0.0,0.13797876814214674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15134135255122064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526193616223491,0.0,0.2822893893080317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10299595693463763,0.1038887665514527,0.10806040530304667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13374953157988498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28508167335662266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835948073229606,0.0,0.12754962569748424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11871357920641408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11713708011678732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10534424564026958,0.0,0.1224611095722142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161034248082948,0.0,0.0,0.15566583228148329,0.0951245561288906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560428500785555,0.08263969426964035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13505971006297085,0.0,0.0,0.28457420964826263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09022535775250974
addiction,Nicoledploudre,2020/03/19,"All Inclusive Recovery Support Hey Friends. I know alot of us are struggling during this time. I want you to know that, You are not alone. Myself and 2 other friends with youtube channels are holding recovery support meetings every night this week and for the next month at 7pm cst. You can find us on YouTube @ Real_talk_recovery 
If you are struggling in your addiction just know that there are alot of people out here who love you and will support you. Come join us this evening at 7pm cst over on Real_talk_recovery.",5.2315000000000005,7.57897997894737,4.194934210526316,86.13766447368424,70.26315789473685,7.276315789473685,31.875,8.07648339933343,2.310605263157895,418,19,76,6,8,122,62,95,0.052000000000000005,0.7290000000000001,0.21899999999999997,0.9445,0,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,3,7,0,0,4,8,0,2,3,0,7,2,0,0,1,18,16,4,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,7,6,0,1,4,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,13,6,12,15,3,13,0,0,0,1,16,7,0,3,5,52,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16369729426048776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15552116747382833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12935012060687853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09917970598042404,0.0,0.1265168403980172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13724413149805975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320275214728653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475731306860853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13552586685310591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11985681374794567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15969757550812866,0.1409156161270499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10410250121318018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31396107019617764,0.0,0.0,0.5112016446619536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08755989392320991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5418743897003953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856865337727995,0.0,0.12044983149018915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,dummybitchboy,2020/03/19,"Man... I know things are going to go to shit real soon, and I dont have a firm enough grip on sobriety to not go back to drinking. My footing is completely unstable and once everything falls through, I've got nowhere to land but the street.",5.017500000000002,5.379407416666666,5.399999999999999,84.845,68.58333333333334,9.733333333333334,32.66666666666667,9.725611199111238,2.8493666666666675,188,8,40,4,3,60,40,48,0.09300000000000001,0.907,0.0,-0.4933,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,2,0,4,3,2,0,0,6,9,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,0,1,1,0,4,2,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,7,8,1,9,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,2,24,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20795394419723215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835543000830066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31695713710723816,0.2649311438796463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27943987352796296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430566958273191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4610969027004633,0.0,0.21629794200783625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14862837912568655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28801292804237394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078232980584764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27760581394569084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796702868337857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Mann_mkb,2020/03/19,"Am i addicted to vaseline I did not realize this until being pointed out by many acquaintances. My friends associate me with vaseline. I cannot step out of my house without petroleum jelly in my bag. If by chance i do, i feel that all day i would have to spend with chapped lips. I look for stores and feel relieved if i own and have one vaseline in my bag.",2.9520833333333343,4.68134115277778,4.167777777777779,86.555,74.97222222222223,7.5777777777777775,30.055555555555557,8.344100000000001,2.1827888888888887,281,13,58,5,6,92,49,72,0.0,0.8859999999999999,0.114,0.7717,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,8,2,1,0,1,15,11,5,0,3,4,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,3,0,2,1,3,0,0,1,1,3,13,2,14,8,2,8,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,2,2,45,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3618773958768785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140820030092598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.335690476452892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564658005548784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3830287991545864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27875662877220697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33654789374408284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249397124387204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31380255891521946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.319990517088099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358096444499164,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Two2Rails,2020/03/19,"Night sweats with cocaine withdrawal? 
This is the 4th time I’ve quit coke but do not remember waking up soaked from night sweats.  Did I just block this out?",3.1950000000000003,5.739847166666667,2.4700000000000024,95.165,77.33333333333334,6.666666666666668,20.0,7.793537801064563,0.5500000000000003,125,3,26,2,3,36,26,30,0.135,0.8320000000000001,0.034,-0.6322,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,4,3,0,0,7,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,4,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,14,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7491188813772087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4245272550561053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4521400736383026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327377603420598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Im_fine_ok,2020/03/19,"Recently started doing drugs want to get better Hey, Im 23years old and i am having a problem saying no to drugs and alcohol. So i have been depressed for a few years now ever since my mum passed away. I've been smoking weed for 7years straight now to cope with my reality i guess. It took a tole on me for sure feels like trying to go to sleep without is impossible. But it's not so bad as is it now. I've tried cocaine for my first time 2months ago and ever since i feel like i can't quit. I feel normal i feel happy when im on it everything feels like it should be. Im addicted to that feeling , i crave it. Now it feel like i can't be sober for a day straight. Either i get drunk,smoke or cocaine. But i do realize it effects my life quite a bit. Missed more and more days at my job, my friendships are degenerating to the point i don't even see my friends anymore. And then the cycle continues being depressed even more because of that and hop back to drugs. But i know i can't go on like this. I want to quit everything but it's been for so long since i've been sober for a day i don't even know where to start. I can't depend on anyone to help with this, friends kinda ditched me cuz im feeling down all the time and they got tired of it, and since they learned i do drugs they outcasted me even harder, and im kinda the black sheep of my family . I WANT TO GET BETTER, it's going to be hard i know doing it by myself and truthfuly i don't even know if i can do it. So any tips where to start? How do i deny the cravings? Though of going alone in the nature today and setup my slackline which was my favorite hobby before i droped everything years ago and just chill in the sun and do something proactive to distract myself but i fear when i get home the urge will win over me. I just don't know where to start...",0.7819878403383562,2.7442591443299023,2.553402061855671,94.47571107586573,82.55670103092784,5.422786148559345,20.5157282579963,6.551861593081955,0.11811636267512515,1420,41,325,14,39,469,176,388,0.07200000000000001,0.778,0.149,0.9738,1,1,9,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,3,8,25,19,0,2,14,0,33,9,1,4,4,59,66,31,0,7,12,1,9,5,2,2,8,1,1,0,18,15,1,0,16,0,0,6,11,7,0,1,7,12,46,12,42,53,7,51,0,3,2,0,9,16,0,6,34,209,64,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07588852811706683,0.0,0.0,0.12341558332451374,0.07439520755682849,0.0,0.07209815253180663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04733927881479416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06903746580150161,0.04867508132455915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06540377642530397,0.05352815848605237,0.058124010720735274,0.042435485005018266,0.0,0.05923560043156228,0.0,0.0,0.12313421735259343,0.07599944936451547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13468402522372827,0.0,0.11991528070930008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3229162698891174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298939008106305,0.12593802533349746,0.0,0.0,0.18769123209802707,0.0,0.06562501264866627,0.07833406408831398,0.2815877029201816,0.1989263816179524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059212846884622125,0.0,0.0,0.10756577967139333,0.0,0.14547983614713675,0.0,0.15825086130141164,0.0,0.05567593615354242,0.0,0.07668665146272131,0.0,0.0,0.07410441385298781,0.062359642695320835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04666017746282774,0.0,0.06982759113231753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3759703387246633,0.0,0.06908023645718596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19128763015476188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04916977428276802,0.17004716320907726,0.0,0.0,0.061605381665163626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820603422548988,0.0,0.0,0.07304721308327064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580685775562338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06661031228171929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22212622550998806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06873451436695584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055359112100301866,0.0,0.0,0.05547260873749038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303386233189308,0.0,0.06966334973198862,0.0,0.0,0.053591546892777474,0.0,0.0,0.19708997396026734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06560950029405888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06839449372612268,0.0,0.08118388885946032,0.08000999036601923,0.06598505640565015,0.0,0.07734268883439269,0.09452541816476263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12317878751404895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06710452111658548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965707718063186
addiction,Andre86er,2020/03/19,24 hours without nicotine I have been without nicotine for 24 hours and it feels like I can rip someones head off. It feels like I will never be happy again. I really need some encouragement.,3.0874999999999986,5.901087194444448,3.653333333333337,84.90000000000002,79.83333333333334,5.822222222222222,25.66666666666667,7.1686216300943375,1.4139666666666666,153,6,27,2,4,48,26,36,0.077,0.7170000000000001,0.20600000000000002,0.6207,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,5,1,1,0,1,8,8,1,0,1,2,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,4,4,4,5,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,6,19,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522285603996809,0.3563714916573341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655122994586093,0.0,0.0,0.2559769466160641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4912570486482401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24370809225817874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849418194225176,0.1923681320673132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15978488180025413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21133281352146704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4808640883680655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,throwaway7292948,2020/03/19,"I cant stop smoking weed I’m 16. I’ve been smoking for about a year now, at first i had some boundaries for myself but now i’m really struggling. I wouldn’t say i’m physically addicted but i always want more. my friends and i always smoke together which is why it’s going to be hard to quit. i genuinely feel like weed has made me dumber and whenever i get high it doesn’t even feel good anymore, i just feel completely brain dead and empty. i only smoke now because i feel like i need it and it’s become such a big part of my routine, i haven’t even gone a day without smoking in maybe 8 months.",1.3294619422572185,3.20992403937008,3.3107283464566954,90.17638123359579,80.25984251968505,6.438057742782153,23.181758530183732,7.492282038375204,0.9430372703412075,471,16,103,7,12,159,83,127,0.14,0.718,0.142,-0.18899999999999997,0,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,8,5,0,1,3,0,9,2,1,1,0,18,22,6,1,3,4,0,5,2,1,1,1,1,0,0,5,4,0,1,4,0,0,2,5,1,0,1,4,6,16,4,9,16,3,14,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,10,59,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18701586162911912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28548827261995074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701324491580836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10457586922256144,0.18946455051497127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915075998656317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17986791127670082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106361732128914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266155742383428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34696526729669824,0.24511207149554504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14592115375538953,0.0,0.0,0.13253984143704545,0.0,0.08962829291124823,0.0,0.09749636049792457,0.14388880095626755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15367595865819236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18125300160237928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16762226140992229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16232566051416078,0.0,0.0,0.17234599121373487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13693033471600474,0.0,0.0,0.12720285860687305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304722308273743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185772965561514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18246555610307988,0.0,0.0,0.10989993388525607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13642420409696446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434242790084344,0.0,0.17934230472772986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118519734556697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15479805285598072,0.0,0.0,0.16536899775508135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11047318979634717
addiction,BabyNyla777,2020/03/19,Anybody else have insane thoughts when sober for a day? It’s been about a day and I get so mad I really feel like I’d kill someone I get so agitated idk if that’s just from being sober because I ushually drink or do pills like everyday but when I’m off them I just go nuts but this is only the first day if I’m about 3 or 4 days I just start trying to kill myself .,-0.4468834688346917,1.4595846097560994,2.0657723577235783,96.47990514905152,87.04878048780489,5.107859078590786,17.647696476964764,6.42735559955562,-0.3279636856368562,286,7,70,3,9,98,57,82,0.249,0.705,0.046,-0.9498,0,0,1,0,0,1,2.0,0,0,1,1,9,5,3,0,3,0,5,2,0,0,0,12,13,11,2,2,9,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,3,0,1,2,1,8,2,6,10,0,11,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,4,11,40,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338615638976778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5664760438534088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21511707289137966,0.0,0.0,0.18344137555296794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103257769645107,0.156876942379334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18678528797000712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294560599452404,0.0,0.12479949138943712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4858931829422988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145636294797988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16701000903565189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14067659328580467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860600322179976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15542871808672656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17433193461858176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14908890875314315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Western_Fix,2020/03/20,Scary side effects of addiction we never knew sensecrib.com/home-1/addiction-and-5-dangerous-effects-you-should-know,39.59,51.46993244444444,22.008888888888887,-46.69999999999996,2.333333333333344,12.488888888888884,42.333333333333336,11.20814326018867,7.436466666666668,108,3,5,2,1,26,9,9,0.28600000000000003,0.7140000000000001,0.0,-0.4939,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6200158117972305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5704974345392839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3125672831978419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43865107292680455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,DaddyDiggz7414,2020/03/20,"An ear to talk to. If anyone has any issues to be talked about. Or need any advice, I've been clean for a year and a half and have alot of different experiences and I think I could be of help! Reach out!",-0.3309090909090884,1.6837495454545497,1.7874545454545439,97.92118181818184,87.63636363636364,5.3381818181818215,13.345454545454547,6.742157984588678,-0.8329581818181815,156,2,39,2,5,52,34,44,0.0,0.836,0.16399999999999998,0.7256,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,6,1,1,0,0,10,8,5,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,8,4,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,3,1,26,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28844095451788826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4014573542373289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063927657442209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356726965838526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083943667271253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28873714973030606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978491419964033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30808532833567553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188680372865554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4744999163326655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18913580218512013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900826010383793
addiction,sotodiefor,2020/03/20,have recently been discharged from a rehab kind of got kicked out bc i didnt get along with the director. friends i made want me to visit them. visitors are allowed in unit and around the facility. will they allow me? or does it depend on the place?,1.5894557823129247,4.215664714285714,3.0072448979591826,88.04787414965988,85.53061224489795,6.531972789115647,22.452380952380953,7.793537801064563,1.3202625850340135,197,7,39,4,6,64,45,49,0.0,0.863,0.13699999999999998,0.6868,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,5,1,0,4,0,11,9,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,0,6,2,9,4,0,7,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,2,1,27,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.325886961693643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3203572546173695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828308927815079,0.0,0.1912606038133187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927859543594319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38121381993698406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34639177915702424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3824735105310599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3614577818837594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159222418800996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,elxamancosmico,2020/03/20,"24 hrs away from instagram So, yesterday I decided to delete Instagram from my apps. 
I think I have an addiction, I just keep installing and deleting the app so frequently. I download it to spend “just a few minutes” instead I end up scrolling through crap for an hour or more.
Also, I am able to keep concentrated on this app but I can no longer concentrate for reading a book! 
😔",2.4241438356164373,5.0399796849315095,3.6482020547945235,85.15942636986303,80.91780821917807,8.033561643835617,31.042808219178077,8.841846274778883,3.015905479452054,299,16,58,8,8,97,55,73,0.075,0.925,0.0,-0.5983,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,6,1,1,0,5,0,3,2,1,0,0,9,6,6,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,9,0,11,6,2,7,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,4,42,11,2,0.31565592987673885,0.0,0.0,0.3441115561308393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524299330790817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2965691368770053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27957746222705393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108575068835732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5611389879766789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3157413508542848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20225957423719534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Arctic_Flaym,2020/03/20,"Took Xanax again and it feel like my first breath of fresh air ever Back in September last year, I was taking Xanax like candy. I had a lot I was suppressing and it didn't feel wrong at the time. 

Around late October I decided to quit as it was really messing with my life. I went days without sleeping and felt like the worst hangover ever and lasted around 2 weeks.

Over the last few months I have been building solid relationships and I feel better and healthier than ever. Due to my obsessive mind, Corona quarantine and some personal situations, I have not been able to do ANYTHING for the last 2 days except for ruminate and occasionally cry, even sleep is difficult and sparse.

​

# About 30 minutes ago I took a Xanax. And it feels like I've been living without air for as long as I can remember. I finally have the mental clarity to live with ease.

# I am so so afraid. I know what I feel right now, is exactly how I wish I could feel all the time - not euphoric, just calm. Why does everybody else get happiness for free but my happiness comes with such a cost.

​

Note: I only took 0.75mg Alp. Not nearly enough for me to be noticeably impaired (2-3mg personally)",5.072105263157893,6.312808973684213,5.752587719298245,79.20019736842106,68.91228070175438,9.735087719298248,29.16228070175439,9.978442167317967,2.826459649122807,938,34,179,23,16,305,142,228,0.051,0.82,0.129,0.9209999999999999,0,1,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,0,3,15,15,0,2,9,0,18,7,3,1,5,46,34,17,0,2,8,0,7,4,0,0,4,0,0,2,5,16,0,1,10,0,2,5,6,6,0,1,13,7,22,10,28,19,6,37,0,0,0,0,3,9,0,2,27,115,27,0,0.09216912891117207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08170237161274016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997304253347993,0.22399116008192693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584733977515197,0.16410013144206634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07087237087189502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08151610447711782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939554334455781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358954956529284,0.0,0.10124346018005144,0.11888292637183268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065782582696576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07699548032098116,0.0,0.0,0.09523534852643024,0.0,0.06087684037807161,0.2501167616471085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27962088569968513,0.13169128822080814,0.08849681780428091,0.10096677553076,0.0,0.07839901396722164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04815456571558016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962315032078613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05065374281862012,0.3005205668494789,0.10397079201647703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06510178151493325,0.18011672297387385,0.0,0.1627740588905711,0.08156677869304585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783588974010378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288480353198426,0.0,0.09306454573512367,0.0,0.07356851935211547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049351641582426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07009877583696178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16095705647240785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803321391936204,0.0,0.0,0.059045904105926764,0.0,0.0,0.0989551511170163,0.10440965575847867,0.07871193248657653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10360196263127644,0.18447138470756447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692997143515794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074891205452098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3072098806871304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07393251565639011,0.0,0.0,0.08544170590364511,0.08316830285140553,0.0,0.10598994956263294,0.1776955024146692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077247351211063,0.22399116008192693,0.059353897135201734
addiction,Ilikecheesetoomuch_,2020/03/20,"My friend has been struggling an addiction, help please. I just want to preface this, I am pretty young in the scheme of things. I have a friend, she came from a broken home, and even smoked weed when we were in primary school. I have not known her for long (maybe a year or so) and we’re not that close. I just want her to get help. In year 7 she took ecstasy and it’s sort of snowballed. She never used to do this much, it turned from bud and alcohol to ecstasy, to meth. It started as meth mixed with ecstasy and now it’s just meth. She has no where to live, she lives in a refuge and doesn’t want help. She used to be one of the sweetest people I’ve ever known, so bubbly and fun. She’s now super aggressive and has been struggling with a long list of mental illnesses. I don’t know what to do, there’s no way for me to help her and I just want to help, I know who she is, and I just want to help, but I can’t. She went in to rehab, came out and immediately began using again. Her parents kicked her out and she’s struggling. Does anybody have advice for this?",1.1663244047619017,2.9760923883928605,2.529821428571428,95.92351190476192,80.47321428571428,5.8738095238095225,18.702380952380953,6.868970318607317,-0.10389940476190462,821,18,194,9,21,265,112,224,0.07200000000000001,0.762,0.165,0.9141,1,0,5,0,0,0,30.0,1,0,0,1,15,8,1,3,8,0,17,4,0,3,2,44,35,18,0,5,9,1,0,0,3,0,4,0,1,0,11,20,1,0,4,0,0,4,8,4,0,1,8,0,28,4,31,26,1,27,0,0,0,0,27,9,0,2,13,131,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12328439454479773,0.0,0.1105098822366488,0.0,0.12085842680371466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586888294846145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09896550147555998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07469463718484311,0.10229604914366423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17474554256830396,0.0,0.0590846665592483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.454809590112251,0.0,0.11343812442889405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12430221142863565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19972043878142925,0.2001615360776201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136137383958666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396775287151938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08313389380831551,0.0,0.0872216980812949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07663246329572808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12557265614435906,0.0,0.0,0.07840211342921281,0.0,0.0,0.12413845878588413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150528150079066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11445274794397275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08004542555186621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35467752192818525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751317282501303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12564674532500775,0.0,0.12300904811212257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29301940321832903,0.0,0.0,0.33351598316251474,0.08976528818281032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10483522441854104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456520339914799
addiction,lifeisntthemovies,2020/03/20,"Anyone else relapse during quarantine? Looking for others who are going through this and would like to swap  experience, strength and hope? I’m not ready to tell anyone IRL yet but talking always helps, I’m 34/f, just had 2 years clean, and all my meetings have been canceled",3.1376470588235317,6.0824026666666695,3.226960784313725,87.06632352941178,81.15686274509805,4.968627450980391,26.14705882352941,6.42735559955562,1.1573764705882352,220,9,38,2,6,67,45,51,0.027999999999999997,0.737,0.23600000000000002,0.8899,0,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,9,10,4,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,3,4,7,1,3,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,1,3,21,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582097633469009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4339636734511003,0.31795786693912903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592311994528431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30355093529307103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17636109490820442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20799987863022187,0.0,0.0,0.30821618490242386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15160589278546688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605892957301702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.249422170880678,0.27123195466626904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22044128401265947,0.0,0.0,0.19983487189658128
addiction,chaospawn1993,2020/03/20,"from today on ill stop playing the game im addicted to hello. im addicted to frogcomposband.  a very, very niche game. but still it has me under its thrall. i will stop playing it henceforth. i have so many other things to do.",0.2056190476190487,2.5934808000000054,2.38825396825397,89.39000000000001,96.55555555555556,5.238095238095238,19.761904761904766,6.868970318607317,0.6758571428571436,176,6,35,3,7,59,33,45,0.14,0.78,0.08,-0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,4,3,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,6,3,0,6,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,23,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5146826055448144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5099727148321329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393287738007225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885185967205184,0.3947150844608021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568284201647715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22375819903564498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3895500474778084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,amarisisntcool,2020/03/20,"I am thinking about relapsing that's it.. as we speak I want to so bad. I have everything prepared but my heart is telling me that it's so wrong. I just want to feel the whetted object scar me. I've called the goddamn lifeline but she hasn't done anything but say ""I'm so sorry""",0.1873365617433436,2.4143918983050843,1.8971428571428568,96.47322033898304,87.64406779661016,4.727360774818402,23.682808716707026,6.1826913282559595,0.4529012106537533,218,9,49,2,7,71,43,59,0.231,0.703,0.066,-0.9201,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,5,1,1,0,0,9,10,7,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,9,0,4,9,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,31,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24183632007895076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453756173920482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30008200530505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30073893540180474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26411834159440245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14859340313339564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34824650815985103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337033549723931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3289720426875667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568620767723301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18830497400678395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3466733817467638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3213091485036667,0.0,0.0
addiction,Rev2016,2020/03/20,"Debt free for the first time in 5 years! I just wanted to share this because I'm so happy about it and hopefully it'll encourage some fellow addicts that we can all get back on track.
This is the longest I've ever gone without relapsing and I'm completely debt free!",2.6355555555555554,4.761264777777782,3.9182962962962975,86.20633333333332,77.14814814814815,7.282962962962964,25.61481481481481,8.238735603445708,1.7422414814814822,214,8,42,4,5,70,44,54,0.081,0.611,0.308,0.9416,2,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,1,0,0,1,5,6,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,2,10,9,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,8,6,7,2,8,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,2,5,26,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35908262985101624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532798091775217,0.0,0.2007924772384462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34535809981259075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2979512085491747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801781152942656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17209215757032362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3506407156672026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3271575993351947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19206937488771508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942821664875453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3175192419105243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121157166806121
addiction,ragnarokyohoe,2020/03/20,"I know this probably sounds ridiculous but I can’t find info.. is it possible to be addicted to Xanax taking it for just flights?(around .2) I have very bad flight anxiety and I usually take .2 before a flight. I usually flight once a month. But for example if i have a bad itinerary I may have 3 flights that day (so .6 in total) I really hate the effects outside of the relief (I can’t remember anything) I’m sure worried because last month I took about .4 and the next morning on my next flight .4, I felt like I had bad anxiety for the next few days and that’s never happened to be before unless I got really high on weed. I’m 25 m by the way",1.1763859275053292,3.3548865746268675,3.5533049040511737,86.63492537313435,82.50746268656717,7.410660980810236,24.49680170575693,8.418075326091056,1.8316861407249467,507,20,105,12,14,175,84,134,0.215,0.7120000000000001,0.073,-0.9688,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,3,8,2,0,8,0,10,2,0,1,3,18,20,8,0,1,5,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,6,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,4,2,14,3,13,13,2,17,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,12,61,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148249683552181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.208064672276401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11190856839144228,0.1210603485697027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3406390824779234,0.08289852734622302,0.0,0.2314357449509581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754052038726282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13057217586054135,0.0,0.12429282448373592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10876400058123988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12025592213055937,0.0,0.0,0.13426243339586744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436813963070382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07473680499941725,0.11085038218877503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06643807373837401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170925889762193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10488423281129282,0.0,0.4338822179086895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448254106452408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15330882022846848,0.0,0.0,0.1466207256468584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742379526417453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15405069099078025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12816940712839453,0.0,0.2044958160961578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15109041418072888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2995485768071609,0.1122063785411798,0.0,0.10794290401642334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13810492184039824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,noreallyiamworking,2020/03/20,"My current addiction story I have always had addiction problems that have manifested in many forms. I don't think it ever truly goes away. I just trade one addiction for another. Mine has been ;appearance, working out, drinking, sexual encounters, pills cocaine, meth, aa/na meetings, baking, drawing, even math and science. I guess the one I have been struggling with for a while now is information. The only adverse effect is sleep, as in I don't sleep a lot. I always find myself thinking, rationalizing, or researching till 3 or 4 in the morning. My job does not help with my current addiction. As a product designer and a fast study I am always researching and learning something because no one in the company has any experience in the subject. My boss even told me, ""I'm sick and tired of hearing ""' well ###### is the only one that can do that.""' The fact that I have a problem and am eager for my next fix I feel (like any other addict after the ride is over) dirty, used, and undeserving. I get paid considerably less than any counterpart in a similar field with the same skills and education. Lately I have been mentally ...ill [sic?]. Like I am going crazy. My vision, literally and figuratively, is blurred. I get easily drawn down rabbit holes of information. This week alone I have written PAGES on 1. Department of revenue standard deductions and the difference between minimum and livable wage. 2. The thought that Adam and Eves original sin ""curse"" was a paternal endogenous retrovirus like Hemo. 3. Design practices for blow molded plastics. 4. Creating an Excel spreadsheet breaking down every aspect of my paycheck and spending (I can estimate my check down to the cent by only changing my ot). I don't know how to control it.
I'm just writing this in case anyone else has a similar ?problem? Also my sentence structuring cannot keep up with my stream.",4.514315298507462,7.226740964179107,5.576394589552237,73.72862173507464,73.68656716417911,8.605410447761194,32.558302238805965,9.271962702966755,3.593434701492537,1473,74,234,37,32,485,203,335,0.105,0.82,0.075,-0.9,4,1,4,0,0,0,68.0,0,0,0,5,9,12,0,1,21,0,29,13,2,6,2,52,47,20,0,3,5,0,1,3,0,0,9,1,1,0,10,17,2,2,12,1,6,4,6,6,1,4,9,2,31,6,36,38,5,33,1,0,0,0,7,15,0,6,16,161,41,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5322079992624466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10112520155952813,0.0,0.07808237023396572,0.2437319611187969,0.0,0.0,0.1991948729775088,0.10238365675601767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06827189375901094,0.10004333099533502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917356387300684,0.0,0.0,0.059520207158091434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328977325532906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951113825357232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10201262319031304,0.0,0.0,0.08544509097162943,0.0,0.0,0.09564965751875017,0.0,0.0,0.08156537512608064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12898009860391424,0.08832062784299864,0.08226559248326866,0.0,0.0,0.09551028564197166,0.0,0.0,0.04936952649710002,0.06975376528458381,0.0,0.0,0.08924084538485258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10202534487091168,0.0,0.055490847144156266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10756105134138937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110046949939179,0.0,0.06544578030137731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09689225854200599,0.08678658207737477,0.0,0.0,0.05366018261483473,0.0,0.11014174621193652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14310536165173787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08300971478244124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989912513057149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09839777363573504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10384084542411348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646525385131532,0.2227779964428423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28028379447560803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195420271826006,0.0,0.0,0.07516775106030896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10207413248353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12512705419927625,0.0,0.07751495321465346,0.0,0.11222238182830248,0.0,0.09329884283226512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432928374414632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832061503336102,0.0,0.0877897459967281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07108280751329152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Matthew-14sfriend,2020/03/20,I've got some questions Does anyone have a few minutes to answer a few of my questions about addiction?,3.3520000000000003,5.9358422,4.240000000000002,82.47500000000002,77.0,6.0,30.0,7.1686216300943375,2.0695,84,4,14,1,2,27,17,20,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,10,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3829805833718865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456446514893113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3074344131610988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2809753072950195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7870969039766225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,v_spek,2020/03/20,"I just shoved 2g of coke down the toilets Now it would be a very dumb thing to admit to your coked up friends isn't it, but to me it's one of the most urgent thing I had to do : it was taking control of me. The high was not fun anymore I couldn't find sleep anymore, my dick was lump, I hid from my wife and kid to sniff it, I was becoming like a fucking puppet. I know that tomorrow is gonna suck bad, I now the day after is gonna suck even worse. But good thing is, we're in lockdown here and I just thrashed my dealer's contact, and I've got the most beautiful persons around me to hang on to. A bit of encouragement here would be greatly appreciated too, if it's not too much to ask.",4.601672185430463,3.347424423841062,5.759329470198676,87.38945778145695,69.66225165562913,8.874503311258279,29.471026490066233,7.645422480735847,1.4590456953642388,532,16,131,5,8,179,92,151,0.168,0.67,0.162,-0.2337,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,1,10,11,4,0,8,0,15,6,2,1,0,20,25,6,0,4,7,1,0,1,1,4,1,0,0,2,10,4,2,1,3,0,0,1,4,5,0,1,6,1,15,6,19,12,4,12,0,0,0,2,9,6,5,3,6,88,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3724456698669661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671600018719221,0.17554474063192238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15678469550491606,0.0,0.20738328220686555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20500220785531692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210606185279348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12109966043428108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12402394394361267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17162340121138148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14507488216493594,0.1735954199819238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15749717682814338,0.15018121751309646,0.2070231468926832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19839512077578567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10319650167214732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09173762228248614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13803659505007915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272415355406388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16395831998907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18791110489706656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411838038024159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3742490868449544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15493444937659226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19135927220708396,0.2667806491774861,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,VacationingInHell,2020/03/20,"I want to leave my oxford house and feel like I have no one to talk to I moved in here a month ago and I want to move out, I'm currently looking for a 'normal' room for rent. I have almost 6 months clean and sober, but I really want to smoke weed (I was doing that before I moved in) and obviously I cant do that here. I dont like the fact that there is so many people living here, it gives me anxiety. So, I found this 'artist collective' place in the downtown of where I live and for some reason they have a biology lab, but they also have a music recording studio and a lot of cool stuff (I know, sounds like an addict's nightmare) and I really love living in the downtown area. I'm going to view it on the day I get paid, and hopefully it all works out well. I just do not like where I live, but I cant talk to anyone besides my mom because they dont agree with me leaving. The only roommate I can trust said the place looked ghetto but that's just from what she can see in the pictures. I'm not going to just take the first place I look at (I already turned down one) but I feel like I should keep looking. I dont know, what do you guys think?",2.3478455284552844,3.1873955731707326,3.842439024390245,91.85601626016262,74.97560975609754,6.767479674796747,20.98373983739837,6.937597516519254,0.22348130081300832,885,18,208,8,18,294,130,246,0.031,0.8009999999999999,0.168,0.9857,2,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,3,2,13,10,0,0,14,1,18,2,0,1,3,41,46,16,0,6,10,1,2,5,0,1,1,2,4,1,11,11,0,1,7,1,2,5,8,0,1,3,4,11,33,10,25,41,3,28,0,0,6,1,12,17,0,4,11,136,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030749631802165,0.0,0.0,0.08381409563916893,0.0,0.0946795516061457,0.0,0.10433980170415033,0.07561270638588423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07233154877678097,0.0,0.0,0.06611252503913892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05763764514814981,0.0,0.08045626242773532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060977819640423564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33244054815314905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561603983715956,0.13509505303103153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042535761153627,0.0,0.10367071056059166,0.0,0.0,0.04939919486644286,0.09070230166267264,0.10747145916915048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362073397402576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09391085700690786,0.0,0.1090996006372668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840416130963766,0.0,0.0,0.10392593412599732,0.0,0.0,0.20023252374824546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23096514745466595,0.0,0.3339624118647414,0.0,0.3175973915398936,0.0,0.0,0.08038420417071834,0.08533631419479512,0.0,0.0,0.09586026137939056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11073743637525374,0.15094002279974836,0.3014794682712412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264027964300284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12814092751611406,0.0719105870027355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655500234624649,0.0,0.2963582112772868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114407344972705,0.09721456867051463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994001675996595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534521020498583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10823871168675664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109087253869452,0.15199363934339374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060584708057343825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284475299412943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16730656533499055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08501304798832078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06883453252612484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,rSlashIAD,2020/03/20,"Need help/ideas/proven strategies for quitting stimulants Hey guys. 29 yo male, been to rehab once for stimulant abuse, got out and was feeling motivated, took a month off work to reset, etc etc... now I’m almost back where I started. I’m just wondering if anyone out there could give me some ideas of things that worked for them on their road to quitting stims. 

I’m functional, have a job, have a girlfriend who has no idea I use, decent financial situation, just no self control. I don’t want to ruin another relationship due to drugs fucking with my personality. 

I know rehab again is an option and 12 steps obviously. Those things I know. I’m posting to see if anything else helped anyone, because rehab doesn’t follow you around all day when you’re not there, and AA/NA doesn’t take up all my free time. So what has worked for you guys as supplemental support in quitting in addition to the obvious stuff?

Feel free to ask me any questions if you want any more info about my situation. I appreciate anyone taking the time to read and respond, and hopefully this can help other people too. Addiction is a bitch, man. I feel like this is the one thing holding me back from being the man I know I could be. 

Fuck. 

Thanks guys",4.5590969267139485,6.2279801744680885,5.218262411347522,80.90361111111113,70.65957446808511,8.286052009456265,27.52364066193853,8.841846274778883,2.1061867612293144,971,34,184,18,18,313,152,235,0.081,0.7959999999999999,0.12300000000000001,0.7351,1,0,1,0,1,0,32.0,0,3,2,8,14,10,3,0,9,0,17,7,0,5,4,46,46,11,0,9,6,0,3,1,1,0,5,0,0,8,11,10,0,2,12,1,2,3,6,4,0,1,4,4,20,8,26,38,6,25,0,1,1,2,23,10,3,9,12,113,31,6,0.0,0.1161184624657383,0.0,0.10683859425542143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813663654333198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13329187235878476,0.10276551628030317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055795807224789,0.0,0.08064876663207207,0.08724414886663732,0.09162031175484918,0.0,0.0,0.15071772631850808,0.0,0.05974219920946861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991958108988484,0.15649609932383976,0.0,0.0,0.06320433527347485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365327933339757,0.0,0.0818695888681043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186002583426388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486609789024866,0.0700139253577112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812058446263194,0.0,0.09401416315258064,0.0,0.0,0.07838258166403053,0.0,0.0,0.2911174732158079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19706961874976306,0.0,0.0,0.09733987418843583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22126869400555324,0.0,0.0,0.09725363684129816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615809557354395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04787970020015254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822568815577093,0.0,0.0,0.07266856661485127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10437083516846428,0.0664099027543243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06794348641090565,0.08557312704513015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09386053765667918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10978667119789777,0.3127172745285168,0.09803030869661747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10521939085979873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07809633002832772,0.0,0.10223932417336734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203207266502373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06936758520098718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11219088946374188,0.0,0.11121353663474584,0.0,0.0,0.14737330292606388,0.0,0.0,0.09022872028737096,0.0,0.0,0.1953280849501395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11429359321020326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10888581391714536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464380601453775,0.0,0.0,0.11561034609242513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628092696025332,0.2140437735144912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,frustrationcentral,2020/03/20,"I'm Married to an Addict, Will the Lies Ever End? I'm married to an addict. He's got anxiety and I think he tries to self medicate with substances, but addiction takes hold of him. 

Some backstory:  The addiction didnt start until a few months after our marriage and now we're 3 years in. Went from opiates to heroine to rehab to kratom. He hid his addiction for almost a year before rehab, then hid the kratom. And lied twice about stopping. The kratom is legal, yes,  but hes abusing it and I believe it caused a seizure that fractured his shoulder among other health problems. We tapered him off because he wanted to get clean, now I find another bag again that he lied about until I found it... (a common theme with him is to deny EVERYTHING when I bring up concerns, until I find proof and even then hes reluctant) He says he just got too anxious one day and needed ""an out"" and hereeeeee hasn't found an outlet for his anxiety yet that isn't substances. At least not one he likes as much. 

BUT when things are good, they're great... but eventually he starts using in secret again. Eventually I find out somehow, after usually weeks of paranoia and anxiety on my part. I feel paranoid and anxious and when I tell him this, he reassures me every way he knows how... (it's starting to not work as much anymore and I'll still feel at least a little crazy) Sometimes I can push it to the side and we have great days still, but then I find proof hes using and I feel hurt and betrayed that he lied to my face again. I tell him I don't trust him, and my anxiety disorder had this running through my had that may or may not be true, like if he's gone to the gas station too long, is he using? What did he spend $X on st the gas station, gas or kratom? So yea technically ""it's one lie, only about this"" but it permeates and irres affecting my mental health and our relationship because he KEEPS DOING IT. 

Does this cycle go on forever? Because I'm questioning my marriage. Does the good outweigh the bad? Is the sheer amount of love I have for him worth the crisis mode i fall into when I find proof of his lies? We've gone through this same cycle at least 3 times and I'm TIRED. It's to the point now where we were in this EXACT situation 4 months ago, and I don't feel like talking about it, because I feel like we JUST DID. He says hes not perfect and he makes mistakes, but the same ones?Will he ever learn to stop lying, and at least trust me and tell me the truth? Are there any success stories?

Im sorry,  I know this is long.. I just honestly feel hopeless. I don't want to leave this marriage but I don't want this to be my life forever.",2.3138325545171377,4.2287717457943925,3.5123890186915894,89.73244645638631,77.33644859813084,6.402258566978194,24.41686137071651,7.333567415737692,1.009760903426792,2064,71,432,26,48,669,242,535,0.207,0.706,0.086,-0.9964,0,0,0,0,0,1,69.0,6,0,0,3,31,22,0,0,23,2,32,15,2,7,9,101,69,47,0,7,18,0,6,4,0,3,12,2,1,1,27,31,0,4,19,0,2,8,11,5,0,4,13,8,54,17,55,51,12,71,0,2,0,1,55,20,0,9,46,268,81,4,0.0,0.0838026078122441,0.0,0.3855266692081941,0.0,0.0,0.06269722176464998,0.0,0.07082513744685677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048098322465899,0.0741657965028781,0.21643076237496706,0.1598078638844311,0.07014442077455922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05905597805143605,0.1724636025617126,0.0,0.06018539112446378,0.07968765584421066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07265843367840986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09122904331461383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08106186008754418,0.0,0.12379130478359883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264513113712089,0.0,0.0,0.046716009415325034,0.12795733067475662,0.059592452395427785,0.0,0.06356689857761798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145770353379467,0.10105799549109967,0.0,0.0,0.3232263130789558,0.0,0.0,0.15510196658325967,0.0,0.0,0.036953119304303665,0.0,0.04019706862857207,0.118648695754036,0.1131373015284298,0.15595851852325945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503637926623967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07571713609070636,0.0,0.07639973840894586,0.0,0.0,0.06286741643609628,0.0,0.0,0.07774190354624537,0.0,0.0,0.07489207424003035,0.0,0.0,0.049958168316855615,0.1382189757886301,0.07088930014094738,0.0,0.12518633942686125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638359189447429,0.0,0.047212330523211936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07125228873402438,0.07127845876021867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291084167249008,0.0,0.10398828917988154,0.052444850362182216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143783931956867,0.053792789699083236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659289647195085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06686201277338329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06767834998532178,0.0,0.0,0.07923295877366512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759367559578965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124934934325213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378604405150152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950265210334778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06995304705514549,0.07917561630197496,0.1501876036085817,0.0,0.1129689574032219,0.11826565744324853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053179601438281286,0.056849500314094636,0.1854614732629656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04698937777336098,0.045320454127082514,0.0,0.0,0.041242800515348385,0.08129288010859187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04802052500525054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832621151334552,0.07789828775038939,0.0,0.1251538509065253,0.056141594711011794,0.05673474635103905,0.0,0.0,0.0655667329754172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0514917439357251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109464946551653
addiction,spiraltentacle,2020/03/20,"Recovery!! Please read and reply need the support Hey everyone, hit a bad one. Really bad. It's been coming. I've been car crashing in slow motion for ages now. But I don't ever want to feel the guilt, anxiety, and crap that I do right now. I want to get better. I am throwing away money on drugs, that I need for my family. I'm throwing away my health,  and kidding myself I'm on top of my mental health, I'm not. I'm kidding myself that I'm still there for my kids.

The crack has to go, it so moorish, and obsessive. Yes, I could quite easily throw away thousands on it, and I'd loose everything. Went too far today, was selfish, spent loads on it, and let down people in my family. People who need me, because of this virus. All I cared about was getting more crack. Instead of getting supplies, I just got crack for myself.

Heroin addiction is not under control. I'm spending way too much. I don't know how to cut down. All I know is that I want to! As of today, I am disgusted with myself. And just want a normal life. With freedom of addiction. Help please. Has anyone done this? How? :) much thanks.",0.525637065637067,2.9274383783783837,2.4913320463320474,91.32263513513516,88.63963963963964,5.333590733590733,19.18983268983269,6.868970318607317,0.3942157014157015,848,25,174,12,28,282,123,222,0.14400000000000002,0.7020000000000001,0.154,0.6681,0,0,1,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,0,4,14,12,3,2,5,1,16,7,1,3,3,33,44,12,0,9,5,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,3,11,10,0,1,3,1,3,8,4,8,0,2,8,1,22,4,30,33,5,32,0,0,0,0,6,15,1,0,8,114,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530182329044988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877616877121178,0.0,0.0,0.08114324634300696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3270918875422829,0.0,0.19378995543563848,0.07074159754325507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10263475540259244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11831835886971835,0.0,0.0,0.0999648133763805,0.0,0.0,0.13015735728642905,0.0926546412916594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187570825265823,0.0,0.0,0.1345784830900582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10497178366738337,0.0,0.1108885453533617,0.10429618515342487,0.0,0.2187988770725245,0.0,0.058677201258432336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18189039228894885,0.0,0.06595257919011689,0.0,0.09281394257075412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24670654555750665,0.0,0.0,0.0777843235438897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275535561411488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866663025211745,0.08196791866978619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169487814987418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706168163741681,0.2581436854452929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370210149902844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07863692123319982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16090571940659765,0.0,0.0,0.25477104051542543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12343100785401387,0.11607909880488737,0.0,0.07434312476423423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09910409715779377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092675838852899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13168954866211768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10684112573479708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21999929085601266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27379174798809736,0.09211325843809384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10757737557322136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,TheGiftIsInTheNow,2020/03/20,"Do drugs affect how you feel? I feel ingenue and really depressed and it takes alooot more of any drug i do to get high, except weed tho lol but if i regulary smoked ide smoke alot more than the avrg joe.",1.7628571428571431,3.7807921904761934,2.5526190476190465,95.4632142857143,79.47619047619048,6.104761904761905,17.642857142857142,7.1686216300943375,-0.0743999999999998,160,3,36,2,4,50,36,42,0.055999999999999994,0.898,0.046,-0.1018,0,0,4,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,1,2,2,0,2,0,10,6,6,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,4,6,3,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,21,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21535419973523956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727572109221433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7344997286030358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3202472446554727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654529519432046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33459126788653243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20287420287792474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381049883413227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,mayblost90,2020/03/21,"Should I turn myself in to parole? I've been unsure as to what I should do because of multiple reasons. First off I violated my parole due to drug addiction and getting caught with drug paraphernalia. The reason I started to abscond  from parole  was because  my lack of support or family that can help keep my belongings, and mail safe. I've been waiting for a lot of financial documents in the mail and my parole address isn't an address where my mail would be safe so I've been working on getting a PO box and storage unit. Then this covid-19 stuff became more alarming to me. I know that when I'm in jail, if one person gets sick we all get sick. I'm currently HIV positive. Health care in jail isn't bad but it's not great either. Not knowing how this covid 19 affects HIV positive people worries me a bit. I thought I'd wait it out before turning myself in. As of now I have a warrant for my arrest. So I am currently residing in a tent. Any ideas?",3.1321531413612576,4.9322387958115215,4.634211387434559,83.09958933246077,74.65445026178011,7.497513089005237,29.214986910994764,8.278499904357787,2.1963950261780103,754,33,145,13,16,252,121,191,0.13,0.774,0.096,-0.7571,2,0,2,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,0,2,6,8,1,1,8,0,14,8,0,4,1,32,32,14,0,5,6,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,2,1,8,7,0,5,6,0,0,1,4,3,0,2,6,0,19,5,24,22,6,19,0,0,0,2,6,10,0,3,8,96,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694328598461374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056922514068422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297708310661905,0.189487548691596,0.0,0.13225262677832272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696805086626217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15846302999961814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3604802231357008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465179763843894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13220182597054098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3248062032555543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17135324169034824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652062583661595,0.0,0.0,0.10417605275279067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17545245648848645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13814616482671416,0.0,0.0,0.1708316713183038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321341786490659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053179314477743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10775000636001687,0.13570844639316768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3195992873605101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100084517503604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17792094123850838,0.0,0.17637097995298626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12338766255110105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3381088885668297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314902612850783,0.15783852825567607,0.0,0.11040728957838444,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,badchicken425,2020/03/21,"Please listen and let us know what you think Check out Bart&Alan's Sobercast on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/bartandalansobercast",21.148235294117647,25.001219117647057,11.169411764705883,45.262352941176516,34.29411764705882,9.15294117647059,40.52941176470589,8.841846274778883,3.8491647058823535,123,4,12,1,1,29,17,17,0.0,0.867,0.133,0.3182,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,7,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4585144374462508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23256819639866924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43272935706948223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4645236336783729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27115611518399074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5090324185747092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,PrinceMorninstar,2020/03/21,"I hate being a compulsive gambler Hello, now i'm drowing in debts and i can't supp my kids, my wife kick me out of the house and now i'm homeless, paying with credit cards my motels cause their are cheaper, i don't know what do to. Someone can give me an advice, at least how i can make money now, cuz corono virus got me hire of my past work. i don't know, give me a dollar pls-",0.3843674698795176,2.103992421686751,2.5309487951807235,95.39594126506027,82.6144578313253,4.6319277108433745,17.60391566265061,5.148860815047168,-0.6486132530120483,293,6,68,1,8,99,58,83,0.049,0.899,0.052000000000000005,-0.2023,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,1,4,2,1,0,4,0,8,0,0,4,0,10,17,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,1,5,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,14,1,7,15,1,7,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,4,42,15,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27694661244312396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911418634709571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5437486141203246,0.0,0.0,0.2266702096886125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798103579172125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32701902575868264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3115112936292055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891794963289868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27054851611769193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.240133795744416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20632707758564015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,FiatLux831,2020/03/21,"Taking pills for no reason Taking pills for no reason

I used to be addicted to anxiety medication 6 months ago. I would take 4 or up to 6 pills a day. I don’t even remember what it felt like to be completely honest because it really messed up my memory. 

Anyway, I landed in the ER because I eventually took one too many (not a suicide attempt) and my liver was a mess. So I’m not on any medication anymore due to my liver. Recently I’ve been craving them again, but without a prescription I can’t get any. Instead I substitute my “craving” by taking random over the counter pills. Tylenol, Advil, sleeping aids, etc. Unlike my anxiety medication these are way easier/cheaper to get. I usually double or on rare occasions triple the dose. 

I don’t know why I do it as they dont make me feel high. Sometimes they just give me a stomachache and headache. I’ve also been tempted to mix the pills with cough syrup, but I haven’t gotten to that point yet. Has anyone else had this issue before?

Edit: In the past 2 years I’ve been on Zoloft, Seroquel, Clonazepam, Ativan, and Lorazepam. Not at the same time though. Don’t know if this information is useful",3.4939779135338367,5.4452086562499975,4.969501879699248,80.4320770676692,74.04464285714286,7.9300751879699245,27.41447368421053,8.6894789155246,2.225173214285715,905,35,168,18,19,303,143,224,0.064,0.898,0.039,-0.2617,0,0,0,0,0,1,30.0,0,0,3,1,10,4,0,0,11,0,18,17,3,5,0,28,35,12,1,2,10,0,2,1,0,1,14,0,0,0,8,4,0,0,8,0,0,1,12,2,1,1,8,2,21,2,23,24,4,25,0,0,0,0,5,12,0,4,12,109,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338821421778621,0.0,0.0,0.1088645615061046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09821193037060302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16703141342003122,0.0,0.18790019221926085,0.0,0.12179553407305138,0.085872322472256,0.12583440574762386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14972891892340426,0.0,0.1045031347390952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12876502057637668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920294964861195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14393360379121578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10259285058242383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13696675378177509,0.08111552214235193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06209694306453902,0.0,0.11791784099748676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283273808988447,0.11781152350090772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297565881273656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12818280024697412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13498745242622046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05999926219831325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08197731120182818,0.12451110092335063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3711575545621416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09802658652166404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08321992726070777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11723701739010567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609611234949388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07867588580771227,0.2525403706766192,0.12126106874556107,0.0,0.13912094798209854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289971521145793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146324158127282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134335325644776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3693544197782668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066120611929948,0.0,0.071612094874651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13644756486739107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121385843812462,0.13525899073894704,0.0,0.0,0.09748167332533576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11081784582754184,0.0,0.0,0.11838544322600428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724142680604488,0.0,0.0,0.0790862720109168
addiction,Redbird_ml,2020/03/21,"Combating addiction withdrawals I have a family member who is a heavy marijuana user. Whenever he runs out of weed, he gets depressed. He shows it through violence (screaming, lashing out, hitting things). He does not have a job and every one in my family is sick of giving him money because he owes all of us hundreds at this point. Instead of wanting to leave the house, he aimlessly walks around, gets in everyone's business and picks fights. 

Does anybody have advice on how to combat a family member like this? Please, it's been like this for a couple of years and I'm tired of draining my money on him.",4.8175438596491205,6.723780754385968,5.600877192982459,77.46780701754389,70.40350877192982,8.575438596491226,30.21052631578948,9.150863307647796,2.863568421052632,482,20,82,10,9,157,77,114,0.161,0.759,0.081,-0.8713,2,0,0,0,1,0,15.0,1,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,6,0,6,3,0,2,1,11,13,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,7,6,0,0,0,1,3,2,1,3,0,1,1,1,6,2,18,11,1,12,0,1,0,0,12,9,0,0,3,51,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961387500828956,0.0,0.1758151974849352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601664494933205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096772225599919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19907744166424995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15496435270084108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3148974342197049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515898906711126,0.17192073815746053,0.0,0.0,0.5088361155942176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18800096623396426,0.1725951242558667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076028808870212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17854228524819918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905087119228893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17579910363010312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12191807099426386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19749751972568536,0.17008202882996898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11953048335889455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.206790932620635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164209371488702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10612114909059926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11586222246376678
addiction,Calebk504,2020/03/21,"I suppose this is an addiction NSFW? My addiction isn’t as bad as some I’ve seen on here but it’s still an addiction none the less so whatever.
I mainly just need somewhere I can talk about it.

I’ve been addicted to masturbating for quite a long time some what maybe 3 or 4 years and it’s gotten pretty bad where I couldn’t go a day without it, and we’ll it was always accompanied by porn which is well with most people. I never watched anything too out there and only ever really the more classy stuff like women stripping or accidental reveals of any sort of female genitalia or just the nice upskirt. Even so it’s still bad for the mind and this addiction is killing me. Is there any sorts of tips people can give for something like this?",3.523501118568234,5.217345550335573,4.616258389261748,84.08174776286356,73.36241610738254,7.919686800894855,25.839485458612977,8.59863814320734,1.7808653243847874,593,20,118,11,12,194,99,149,0.11800000000000001,0.741,0.141,0.5699,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,1,0,0,1,15,8,1,0,8,0,11,6,0,0,2,24,16,12,1,2,7,0,0,2,0,1,5,0,0,1,12,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,4,1,0,4,2,8,4,15,10,7,12,0,0,2,1,4,3,0,8,10,83,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6983334531568729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660379794407704,0.0,0.0,0.17424821835360665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10542956332872153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32091760474249925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08262501395420732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08462022157822624,0.1158893686529682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12290172040833225,0.07281197381189604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417427319530242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12518321346292574,0.0,0.0,0.1133797162198634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871097684827795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12936187936619378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09499730207753876,0.0988119053286734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974389259831362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17764071051482275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13034128106245488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362684435059842,0.0,0.0,0.08207517764883862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098630902272659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046291694552551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466635756450535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10297577582926044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747061866326812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11519277530330382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12350043706604615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08250329511058499
addiction,jwj815,2020/03/21,"Title Keep on kickin
Needle sticks skin
Spirit stricken
Stomach sickenin 
Mixin liquid, heartbeat quickens 
Pussy thickens 
Feelings mixed in
Feel imprisoned, I’m the villain, chillin, killin, make mistakes in millions
Feel it? Kill it. 
Now let me drill it. 
I’m master of my mind, sanity is hard to find, keep my hustle on my grind, I been programmed to survive. 
Too depressed to be alive, clinically certified, just a racing pulse inside
Still I’m here openin my eyes and I’m sometimes still surprised 
Lord knows I’ve fuckin tried
But my tolerance too high Somehow I always survive 
Throw out all the extra lives, hit the plug up while I cry, hope this time I don’t revive, limbo dulls the tunnels shine, I’m so desperate for some light, I’ll cash myself in cut the line, if I can’t shine I ain’t got pride and with no pride I ain’t a lion.",1.9833333333333345,4.719166160493831,2.79245679012346,89.46905555555556,84.92592592592592,4.721481481481481,22.91481481481481,6.2581,0.6548755555555551,666,24,122,6,20,209,117,162,0.196,0.698,0.106,-0.9493,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,5,9,11,4,0,7,0,8,5,3,1,1,21,23,6,1,3,3,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,2,5,1,1,1,5,7,0,1,2,9,14,4,13,18,3,14,2,2,3,1,0,8,1,4,5,65,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17891535141599818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23619133584060034,0.0,0.0,0.1851979496501728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32616442783014177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19652601742587336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719725652894261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19261728613366144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22718232296753155,0.0,0.21356515074850013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3822424870162681,0.2378897486498788,0.0,0.1181703505626868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2198743448825206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898681768737875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435287121697663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217110708558226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21266204495539134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34343335293041444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12538093287583407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459856786423847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,mweidlick,2020/03/21,"those diagnosed with mental illnesses like depression, bipolar, anxiety, etc. : in what ways does it impact your addiction? meaning either on a daily basis or whenever your symptoms are present.
for example: if you have anxiety, do you find that you are more susceptible to cravings when you are feeling anxious? 
as someone with bipolar and a pretty severe nicotine addiction (luckily i havent let myself indulge in much else besides marijuana) throughout the past year i have tried to quit multiple times. i have successfully stopped using nicotine for about 5 months, but that’s the longest i can remember being off of it since before i started. i’m beginning to feel like every time i try to quit, it is interrupted by a manic episode. the decision to purchase nicotine is usually a blur because it seems as if i’m more inclined to abuse the substance when i’m manic. 
i could be looking at it completely wrong,, and as a (probably naive) 19 y/o, i’m new to like everything. so feel free to correct me if i’m looking at it wrong!",9.527292397660817,8.266732068421053,9.722280701754386,62.95985380116961,59.894736842105246,13.076023391812866,46.37426900584795,12.06081838636515,5.917356725146201,823,48,131,22,9,275,122,190,0.131,0.774,0.095,-0.7294,0,0,0,0,1,0,26.0,0,6,0,3,4,8,0,0,9,0,15,7,0,1,1,23,30,13,0,4,6,0,3,3,0,0,7,0,0,0,10,4,0,1,8,0,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,15,6,24,26,5,20,0,1,2,0,6,6,0,6,16,88,25,1,0.0,0.1552136467148742,0.0,0.28561879777158883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004293706752098,0.14799277716267387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798564190841238,0.0,0.11147140022561658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373510677891586,0.0,0.0,0.1045928862512858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11283015747056728,0.1329623007175633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146390330125712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943373838604972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14609969228702893,0.0,0.0,0.11037319833411516,0.0,0.11773440464635615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19871269537750005,0.09358646717183143,0.0,0.0,0.11973167918494855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339564342029392,0.0,0.1920000329113895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22001410999394752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142697466476481,0.0,0.0,0.13201724630307834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10456299599230616,0.0,0.09630011523872943,0.0,0.0,0.12652067173672768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250543777406996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13327415373263052,0.1412402184754531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786693722922776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483975280837012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11925753222642993,0.0,0.14799277716267387,0.0,0.10836460118719896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11099592351216916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09272251487162768,0.0,0.0,0.10952191376923184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13615921865049985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15277437387302936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17788087979139816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314198900299115,0.14427805566232024,0.0,0.0,0.10398174800249438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864559960368051,0.0,0.08435974195119357
addiction,sentientjelll0,2020/03/21,"i don’t wanna be here when i’m sober i just dread being alive when i’m sober. always just waiting for the next time i can get high. it feels like my baseline, and when i’m not high i’m sinking.",-0.8661363636363646,1.015584659090912,1.2510909090909088,101.76663636363638,88.77272727272728,3.5200000000000005,15.618181818181819,3.1291,-1.3434127272727268,151,3,38,0,5,50,30,44,0.073,0.8029999999999999,0.124,0.2732,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,7,11,4,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,4,1,2,9,0,7,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,6,20,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959221939413588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179823013704966,0.2540703381362083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858079901784506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.751509480938089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737484587181945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3782287393607568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20737740189081055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,pithy_brevity,2020/03/21,"I apparently like drugs more than my son. What the fuck is wrong with me? I had 6 years until the 24th of last month. Then three weeks until earlier this afternoon. I love my son. I think. Would I have done this if I really loved him? I don’t know. I’m a mess. 

I’m going to shower and sleep. I hope.",-2.026685314685313,-0.2736332769230767,0.8745454545454585,99.31727272727277,104.84615384615385,4.825174825174827,10.524475524475523,6.574015621080383,-0.9651538461538459,227,3,57,4,11,78,50,65,0.133,0.659,0.207,0.723,2,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,3,0,6,5,1,0,0,7,15,5,0,3,1,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,2,0,12,4,6,12,1,9,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,2,9,35,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27121123978013384,0.0,0.0,0.3073433303518093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.245010122423718,0.0,0.0,0.15061906530791758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.263228314084456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14565008403461932,0.21602967214333885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12947718360676327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4783884383895044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21153937359194014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697809562804304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652150777964101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698164735101981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125860108067997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18826521898463988,0.28976179090994963,0.0,0.17066656133347866
addiction,Printesagotica,2020/03/21,"I think I am addicted to technology. I have spent 76 hrs in the past 7 days on my phone alone. I’ve also used my laptop and watched the tv. I don’t know howw to quit usong these, especially my phone, since they are interfering with my personal life. Any tips?",1.8213207547169823,3.81794132075472,3.6836226415094337,87.53260377358494,79.18867924528301,8.013584905660379,21.92075471698113,8.841846274778883,1.3529803773584903,202,6,46,5,5,68,43,53,0.043,0.9570000000000001,0.0,-0.25,0,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,1,0,5,8,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,9,0,5,7,0,4,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,2,23,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3589102103727535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34098385796545805,0.0,0.2632857826818963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238882600556215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21232665431033407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809366587651895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23254547781695956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3142880886911493,0.0,0.2874716692415065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3501775226777929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27234315186887825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21095782761731427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2843497374254033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,bigwongatonga69420,2020/03/21,"I’m addicted to porn and masterbation Does anybody have any tips for me to properly quit
I jerk off 6-10 times per day it’s hard for me to quit I need the help please thank you",0.3526923076923083,2.2717606153846184,2.433012820512822,94.98490384615386,83.87179487179488,6.976923076923077,20.006410256410245,8.07648339933343,0.6393025641025639,140,4,35,3,4,47,32,39,0.094,0.72,0.18600000000000005,0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,1,6,4,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,15,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3207440249103402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000801860326916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18974803093094994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574745440227396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635639837316821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19720995378077924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21816094364541708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3229660093166352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6258799265708144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2708789188885465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17156247404409056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,romanivv,2020/03/21,"Im being addicted to my boyfriend. If someone ever felt the same or if someone is psychologist here or knows much about it please help me.Any piece of advice would help me. I really feel like i am sick.I expect from him the best love.like no matter how bad he treats me.. i still want him. When he gets mad he is so scary even tho its his fault I'll be like ""I'm sorry you are right"" cuz I don't wanna lose him. i accept everything even tho i really dont want to. When he gets mad he makes hours to text me,he just ignores me and it makes me crazy,i get so anxious so as a result i text him over 100 texts every 5 mins(ofc i also make 40 or something phone calls).. not even kidding... If he will be late to text me I'll stalk him on twitter or on Instagram to see if he's online and he just ignores me,my mind doesn't get tired of making scenarios. Even if he says ""i wanna break up"" ill beg him to stay. Ik thats a big problem. So if someone ever been thru that and they passed it their advice would be the best for me now,how can i fix it?.ty for reading.",0.09240579710145268,1.9980809869565244,2.256195652173912,95.9557427536232,84.78260869565217,5.05072463768116,17.844202898550726,6.21433560688645,-0.3562753623188404,817,19,193,7,24,275,134,230,0.134,0.732,0.134,-0.2292,0,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,2,3,21,14,2,0,5,0,16,3,0,7,2,42,31,25,0,14,13,0,2,2,0,3,3,1,0,1,6,3,0,2,4,1,0,1,5,8,0,0,2,4,27,6,20,22,5,16,0,1,1,0,25,6,0,10,9,115,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12890544396659856,0.0,0.23109697679109625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945611735911754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804112413837589,0.0,0.0,0.13358416737865006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873035612863204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24818347519382924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12074224638312313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13858327030479128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3124011081463352,0.2139203048298453,0.09962723913326277,0.0,0.1062717567575404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059788661015513625,0.08447486786004843,0.11353457151268401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.247114331138506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15851541835487012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644835583476006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772582268775298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06498483368231953,0.0,0.1333864834273633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11553791126328135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13228687411655493,0.0,0.0,0.1067215076130586,0.0,0.3157201258886645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11939461310832278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08692431454606332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12979844855635006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314532104487827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11827786159849207,0.0,0.1515026548654304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10098132056638183,0.0,0.09403385597198388,0.0,0.0,0.09422664313980103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3005680069473781,0.09103144199098846,0.0,0.1323665622367561,0.0,0.12603435640697305,0.09443129860778884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13590622437669198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13948894679901636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16799693628703047,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,worthlesshitbag,2020/03/22,"I’m contemplating relapsing even though it will tear my relationship apart. I’ve been sober for two months or so now, and I don’t think it’s going to last because I didn’t get clean for me. I stopped using Crystal because of the strain it put on my relationship. In January I moved from CA to OR and live with my gf. When I first came down it was only suppose to be for a couple of weeks. I had a couple weeks worth of glass and I was using in our apartment. My drug use has been a constant source of fights between her and I for most of our relationship. She moved from CA to OR before I did (last July) and while we were doing distance I had never brought my shit around, and every time I would drive up to see her, I would get clean. Then I’d end up going home and almost always immediately, end up relapsing. Whether to cope with feeling lonely, or deal with weight gain from sobering up and replacing drugs with food and binge eating. Last Christmas was the first time she’d ever come to CA to see me. She didn’t even come down for me specifically. She came down to go to a friends for a Christmas party and conveniently enough, I lived close so she stayed with me. We fought constantly over me using. We end up going to Arizona for actually Christmas Day because aside from me being a shitbag junkie, another reoccurring theme in our relationship is she gets her way. Going back to the previously mentioned distance. I always made the 9 hour drive from CA to OR. She used school or work as an excuse. Even though she went to fucking Canada with her dad and had no problem coming down for her Christmas party. Whatever. I’m not close with my family so I go with her to AZ for Christmas to be with hers. She forced my arm a little bit, but I did make the choice as an adult to go. So, were in AZ and I’m using right in her face, or at least not trying to hide it. We bicker about it here and there. In my eyes, this is the only thing keeping me going. All the stress I’m under, all the driving I’m doing, all the fighting. I always have a pick me up and something to keep me going. I’d be up for days at a time, often driving distance during the holidays. Getting belittled and having to deal with her talking about ex’s, or friends, and all this positive shit that isn’t me. Because she doesn’t talk about me. I’m not (insert real name here) to her. I’m (male shaped figure just barely good enough for her master plan for life). She doesn’t respect me. I caught her talking to an ex while we were together for the holidays. She lied about it repeatedly and finally I get the truth, or as much as she’ll give. Fast forward to present day and we fight about me venting to some girl form Dutch Bro’s who gave me her number. Not someone I have history with, no flirting, no touching. We talked for less than a day and all I did was vent how I feel. She won’t let it go but her talking to her ex is fine. Back to AZ, she has called me out for my drug use one night/early morning and proceeded to blame her miscarriage on drug use. I told her I never knew she had been pregnant and apologized. I asked when it happened. She tells me it was mine and then lied about telling me when it had happened. I pressed for answers and she hid behind her feeling of fear of telling me. Which is a literal toxic layered cake. She doesn’t try to help me with my addiction, and then (knowing that a child is the thing I want most in life) blames me for a miscarriage, of a pregnancy I knew nothing about and if it was real, probably wasn’t even mine. Then proceeds to take high ground by making me out to be some asshole that would get mad at something out of her hands. She also has no proof of the pregnancy at all. Nor did the doctor even say anything about drugs. She had the miscarriage and googled some shit, and just jumped to that conclusion among hundreds of possibilities. This same morning she confirms that she had been raped. Then proceeds to take me to a mountain to watch the sunrise. My stomach was in knots and I hadn’t slept in days. I just had more emotional pain dumped on me, after spending christmas doing meth in some hotel in AZ with no family or friends around to miss me if I OD’d. Now I’m thinking she wants me to fucking kill myself. We end up leaving almost immediately and going back to where we were staying. I was broken for a few days. I couldn’t hear anything about kids, or sex without wanting to break down. I didn’t know what to say, or ask. I didn’t know how to help. But I still tried to put a face on and meet relatives and be somewhat of a presentable boyfriend. The only thing that let me do that was insane amounts of sniffing and she still called me out every time. Even if I smoked a cigarette to avoid breaking, she’d scoff or complain. Fast forward to present day (skipping a lot of fights that were never resolved and some ended up getting physical) I’m thinking of going home tomorrow. Just to visit and get a few things. But then I question why I live here. Why I’m going if I’m just gonna relapse and we’re gonna fight. Why I even let my guard down and broke walls for someone who doesn’t respect me, belittles me, would choose any ex over me in a heartbeat, and rejects me. I hate that being lonely is as scary as it is. Because it’s enough to make me want to relapse, which brings on one of my biggest fears. ODing and nobody around to find me in the bathtub or miss me when I’m gone.",3.1263843921248125,4.637804241567913,4.042627227862827,88.53730477058649,74.04102096627166,6.757442974046249,26.009377717704506,7.327987496337161,1.1473322205806844,4251,147,890,47,87,1368,403,1097,0.12,0.805,0.075,-0.9955,0,5,10,0,6,1,114.0,12,0,0,8,51,40,16,5,44,0,79,27,10,15,12,183,172,89,1,14,33,6,7,0,4,9,10,3,4,5,35,74,3,5,18,3,2,35,28,30,0,5,49,14,148,10,169,101,28,163,0,6,4,4,114,62,5,31,65,624,183,3,0.0,0.0,0.041636488236069615,0.0465129380387101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08544895834092812,0.0,0.0,0.03412049850473131,0.10650619326731936,0.0,0.0,0.029014779927119868,0.04473969471962838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702220225078562,0.11394707274336822,0.07977510212372259,0.0,0.0,0.09842404303113947,0.0,0.13004594591927074,0.0,0.03630617012770096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04658092292704258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08713482459481058,0.09759854474324507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026060337039367,0.0,0.09221496564367734,0.0,0.0,0.09441965654538632,0.0,0.19261518233076827,0.08797486963746103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04367111642722113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473987970532607,0.04365862690453611,0.0,0.04799422991636305,0.1889499051383552,0.1322581413057828,0.0,0.19726640430213324,0.03859442075367582,0.0718969728225588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044462642385904,0.09602366944420114,0.06472060914555203,0.0,0.0,0.04673922120990093,0.03899653817361034,0.07258444844236384,0.051592673339211775,0.0,0.09889242621539013,0.0788892467379917,0.1783324771869356,0.04092973120764614,0.3152296696086071,0.035786755332100045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754599419145184,0.0,0.0,0.04212447605846207,0.0,0.0,0.04808840689132462,0.0,0.057197102040397525,0.0450796502468912,0.08559624228630783,0.0,0.04201804821412603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584814434113295,0.047204318216211065,0.0,0.07034541248633741,0.1043370245677258,0.0,0.045177813714825765,0.0,0.13088859779356524,0.06027342264600893,0.0,0.04276318460452344,0.11302628076008113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036273653586919384,0.0,0.04037220866624207,0.0854409453229047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03405610689266627,0.09069577709914674,0.03136489144388675,0.0,0.09872143478010556,0.0,0.0,0.040039753565958534,0.0,0.0409397940994916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05782404221051244,0.09734971251178136,0.04540031572556092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04810022851458285,0.0,0.0,0.046001856893020734,0.04082621451188703,0.0,0.08578352041651771,0.04779640419730565,0.0,0.0,0.09712795991455883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18323202552936227,0.0,0.036437079475001,0.0,0.0678604530852738,0.0,0.043180919962612974,0.06799957983299534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13139008583348066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07230261527813882,0.06569373163166657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09095392762194343,0.06814727145576756,0.035671223524321984,0.04887449470289788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06416001029714248,0.17146915484938605,0.11187757817332424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11338328532958608,0.08201718492116143,0.0838395190367819,0.0,0.09951704917603706,0.0,0.0,0.04076980524301102,0.0,0.08690354841376853,0.0,0.041679109910000886,0.0,0.0,0.2948022393557475,0.0,0.0,0.10066356454625347,0.03386679476092863,0.06844921382709172,0.05195647597137023,0.0,0.03955240495488673,0.11550002515747225,0.0,0.0,0.041129120701856266,0.0,0.03106182381761676,0.0,0.0,0.12123663435403885,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,square_pulse,2020/03/22,"What does opioid addiction feel like? Hi beloved reddit community. I'll cut the story very short. TL;DR section down below.

My husband has an addiction to opioids (oxy). He was addicted before he met me. Some weeks ago, he went through hell by withdrawing, it was the most terrible and terrifying thing I have ever seen in my life and I thought my soul shattered into 1000 pieces, seeing him like that. Anyways. It happened now that a couple of weeks ago, he relapsed. He successfully withdrew again and is back on Bup.

Now I have a couple of questions for the ones who have experience with opioids. Since I have never ever done any, I was wondering:  


* What does it feel like when you are on opioids?  
All I observe is just slurred speech, pin-sized pupils, very very slow motor reactions and slow thinking process. But I don't know what the person feels inside. My husband tells me, it feels like ""being wrapped in fluffy cotton"". Is it really, though?
* How does temptation feel like when you are exposed to the drug again? Can you resist? What is it that goes through your mind?
* When you are in idle time, do you think often about the drug? What are the thoughts? 
* If you are on the substitute drug, do you still have the temptation, what is going through your mind? Do you still have a craving? 
* What is there that I can do to help him and build a strong support system, so that he is not tempted to go back?

I have approached my husband and have had many talks about this. It is a very delicate topic and he gave me some insights here and there, but of course not everything, as all this is very deeply rooted to his (mental) past and so on. We are working on it but it's really hard for him to unravel all that and talk about it. Feels like therapy sessions, digging deeper and deeper but I don't want to overstep boundaries, if you guys understand. However, I'm his wife and I want to support him and understand him in the deepest way possible.

Can anyone willing to share with me their experiences?

Many many thanks in advance. 

TL;DR: My husband is addicted to opioids (oxy). He went through a couple of relapses and is back on Bup. I am wondering if someone could share with me their experiences with opioids and what's going on in their mind when exposed to the drug or the temptation etc.?",2.9593420378904227,5.55851340322581,3.5602734254992328,86.71501331285204,78.5622119815668,6.622754736303125,26.464720942140296,7.793537801064563,1.7100165488991297,1803,73,338,30,45,566,199,434,0.042,0.873,0.085,0.9579,1,0,10,0,0,0,71.0,1,11,3,4,28,16,2,0,19,0,44,9,0,2,6,67,75,32,0,6,11,5,7,6,0,1,9,1,0,2,28,21,0,0,17,0,0,7,5,3,0,1,12,10,45,13,46,60,9,51,2,0,2,0,48,18,1,11,30,243,73,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30560676170356404,0.0,0.0,0.12425012613691347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047659389564302934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049004224842485664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16167035631830906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05963615474769233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055956214216066266,0.2326391862247844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18399242583370065,0.07172006341932369,0.0,0.0,0.3250998470742957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07816196656886745,0.0,0.1267896250344325,0.0,0.0,0.06298680343484207,0.20566622315576796,0.0,0.0,0.21261886058448112,0.25033941563724066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11949072160284095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939398389133812,0.06197487586046106,0.0,0.06278132195326634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04697569609246875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03851622547967089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0495022629410852,0.20543643752730675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21316192957298735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062798990556993,0.0,0.21229398825664988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05405294968461054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04749059894329287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06690292045965443,0.0,0.06119447384010965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07900895800921734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07850989920082402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979495806808985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05584771750139101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057974046369668415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059381779160728475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11193803179664934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15906053905618803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11266141283519113,0.06125633320979081,0.06452375008266469,0.08014693701204281,0.0,0.046560564815385605,0.08981374267283916,0.06885698097132549,0.11127742287020644,0.04086642934121889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14591942188233148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891323877293848,0.08267448606696141,0.055629260978703216,0.11243399933929672,0.0,0.0,0.12993677571809376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15200579034915493,0.05102184354387726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,schweddybaby,2020/03/22,"In COVID-19 days, starting to question AA. Hope everyone's doing okay during all the Corona mess. 

I heard reddit had some good recovery posts, this is the first one I stumbled upon. 

I smoked weed the first two days of lockdown.  I'm an adderall addict.  With the CA lockdown, I can't go to meetings and I think I used that as an excuse to get weed. I do feel somewhat guilty about it but mostly I felt empowered walking into the pot shop and getting legal, relatively safe drugs opposed to hitting up some friend to sell me their adderall. 

Lately I've felt a lot of condescension coming from my AA family and I don't really feel comfortable telling my sponsor about relapsing;  I won't really get support I'll just get like scolded and told I need to do a bunch of this and that because my program hasn't been good enough. UMMM THE WORLD IS ON LOCKDOWN IM STRESSED AND NOT BECAUSE I DIDN'T GO TO A WEEK OF MEETINGS... that's what happened the last time I had a brief relapse on adderall. I must have been doing something wrong that's why I relapsed; but if I stay sober it's because of AA and only AA, it has nothing to do with me. 

Anyway I feel like this is a rant and possibly enabling but I know I needed to share my thoughts.  Let me know if you agree/strongly disagree/anything. 

​

XOXo",2.6219921875000023,4.944058027343754,3.6606312500000016,87.05624375000002,78.1015625,5.81475,27.818125,6.918507183188421,1.47040925,1029,45,194,11,25,331,147,256,0.086,0.778,0.136,0.9009,1,3,3,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,1,3,4,14,0,1,14,1,21,2,0,1,2,42,48,14,0,6,7,0,5,2,1,2,2,1,0,0,11,12,0,2,10,1,2,5,6,3,4,4,10,6,28,11,26,34,8,23,0,0,0,0,11,7,0,9,11,128,39,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13552236065068826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13469590759787456,0.15105706879941885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10230115169257054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22734491942044685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10708688725911736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16034656351132628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441666358332165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12845125306937824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11878888934522537,0.0,0.0,0.117193689910009,0.0,0.18857311758840192,0.08881109405290233,0.2387249548723511,0.0,0.0,0.2114855825974848,0.0,0.0,0.09604592912786138,0.0,0.2597990936300865,0.0,0.14130284794487116,0.2085400650717225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10993188018254617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12347344728179455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13428218757914315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13664121228894424,0.10133381140045468,0.14023341882794474,0.0,0.0,0.12712113018589805,0.0,0.1214686517282145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056886829946842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18435689389926047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192841771530045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842394722110636,0.09454762054436414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14014716745497144,0.11905998692537555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13926193013312727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592795214880899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957042273191472,0.0,0.0,0.08799122606013221,0.1325038957066003,0.0,0.0,0.14240310711470944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410718769382137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10865731942735593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965642093811477,0.0,0.09869270529506996,0.07248942981253342,0.0,0.0,0.11878888934522537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143828369048468,0.0,0.0,0.10736876954899643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971848085376778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217549872200823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13591960020956875,0.15105706879941885,0.0
addiction,inconsolable_sadness,2020/03/22,"Left my old life behind, full detox, serious anger issues emerging. Been battling with various addictions for years so I decided to knock them all on the head for 2020 due to declining physical health and concerns about my own mental health. Quit alcohol and cocaine just before Christmas and I quit weed about 5 weeks ago. Stopped smoking cigarettes a week after that and dropped my antidepressants about 2-3 weeks ago entirely, after tapering off them for a couple of months. So I knew that I was going to be bombarded with withdrawal symptoms and have a pretty shitty start to the year.

It has been going better than I expected, withdrawal symptoms have been very real and it has been difficult, but each thing I quit gave me a bit more strength to move on to the next item on the list. However, in the last week or so, I've noticed that I am extremely angry and have a short fuse with family and friends in addition to some pretty heavy anxiety. Trying to hold it together but I am struggling, my mental clarity has become extremely poor again and my productivity is non-existent. 

Does anyone have any insights? I am worried I have taken on way too much and not sure what to do going forwards. I do believe I am passed any withdrawal issues from alcohol/cocaine, I just mentioned it in case anyone had any further thoughts.",7.191523809523808,7.9230827918367375,7.348163265306122,71.47136054421769,63.938775510204074,11.104761904761903,36.33333333333333,10.93419730881044,4.298953741496598,1064,49,177,28,15,344,148,245,0.121,0.785,0.094,-0.7169,1,0,5,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,2,5,10,9,2,1,10,0,22,9,1,0,2,32,30,16,0,1,6,0,0,0,1,0,8,0,0,0,9,15,1,2,4,0,1,6,1,5,0,0,10,0,21,4,32,19,10,38,0,0,0,0,5,13,0,2,19,124,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11601725047208328,0.0,0.0,0.18867590396048647,0.2274685685227333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171147512158141,0.0,0.08141363482029508,0.0,0.0,0.14882747740393704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11753632029494948,0.0905585028811128,0.11990276504863988,0.0,0.09412287792854833,0.1161868252216169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11775550421903587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09313186324335053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10032654102803312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222248020879988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18144866821675565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10922114524347444,0.22624626502589695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221568283947769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674930190184595,0.0,0.0,0.11562937115926493,0.0,0.07517001792181001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21449957846580506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494616874518289,0.11311126680188258,0.07823346836630027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318252816096235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12116378364536468,0.11167349040550882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21654178220326614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3395832621981652,0.0,0.12113316561374475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07532705351463502,0.0,0.0,0.0889747551707594,0.0,0.11125687899725197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10030282597156076,0.2212293910275613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07070299989694584,0.0,0.0,0.08448831805327238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07225452507316034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878104776472957,0.0,0.08447396737645982,0.3414658338110484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807816195402092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13706640302489909
addiction,ianarischan,2020/03/22,Addict behavior Why do we steal? Why did I steal from my best friend three years ago? Knowing I’d be caught. We reunited after a year on thanksgiving. A year went by. I just stole from him again KNOWING I’d GET CAUGHT ! Wtf. It’s been a few days I’m hoping to talk to my therapist. What the fuck why ! It’s a compulsion but I know better and yet I can’t stop,-2.221527883880825,-1.1808693636363596,0.4284186401833488,100.05842627960276,119.25974025974024,4.40916730328495,13.620320855614974,6.2272716619740125,-0.4849550802139033,277,7,66,5,17,93,55,77,0.163,0.701,0.136,-0.2833,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,2,0,0,2,3,7,1,0,5,0,5,2,0,0,0,10,15,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,3,0,0,3,1,3,0,1,5,0,9,4,7,9,2,13,0,0,0,1,5,1,1,1,9,37,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22107625932222533,0.0,0.0,0.1797653491273727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128206250763897,0.1793555155325192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13078586546919638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15667875495059366,0.18748051945319485,0.10595190992703613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20142098853367715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3343521460634378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16954552850737886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16299877385383474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23546038648248085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879928059445952,0.5489722771798701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3917795957436783
addiction,throwawayforventing6,2020/03/22,"My girlfriend doesn't know about my addiction and it makes me feel bad I'm an addict for over 2 years and i can't just stop it. I enjoy doing it, but it makes me feel bad about myself.

 I didn't tell her on our first date and i deny having this problem. She thinks that i don't do it, but she'll find out sooner or later. I don't want to disappoint her.she once told about her negative attitude towards people who have this kind of addiction and i got scared about our relationship so i started lying. And I hate it.

She loves me, i love her too, but i hate lying to her.

Is there a way to tell her, or should I even tell her at the first place?",1.4193478260869554,2.9728046304347835,3.0892028985507274,93.39728260869568,78.78260869565217,6.339130434782609,19.471014492753625,7.1686216300943375,0.15055362318840615,501,11,117,6,12,166,82,138,0.271,0.622,0.106,-0.983,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,2,0,0,2,9,11,2,1,3,0,12,5,0,2,0,23,27,11,0,3,6,0,2,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,10,6,0,1,5,0,0,0,6,7,0,2,3,2,29,4,14,22,0,14,0,1,0,2,20,6,0,2,7,85,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4811181562182844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456631023056471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09716543675149156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14876749688449936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344568008824329,0.25026510527492263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11765811606640406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904833380057476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15319348214771358,0.08084836554431013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655468659385962,0.0,0.19639548723263936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15666842782538734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198825351728558,0.0,0.15369969776331513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407653718124917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15794217336808686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14728378789132546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10412593228693408,0.0,0.0,0.12299139419222135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3857445290320448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942627971469954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14057087737302587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08676988707340468,0.11676987478796055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947346692474263
addiction,OsBohsAndHoes,2020/03/22,"Online AA/NA meetings during the crisis? Hey everyone. My brother has been on the path of healing for a few months now but I know he relies on keeping himself busy with work and going to meetings. Now that he can’t do either, I was just wondering if there are any good resources out there for people in recovery at this time. Does anyone know if there are online meetings or resources that could help out during this time?

Dealing with addiction is hard enough as it is, and now, I’m sure resources for getting help are hard to come by. For anyone that’s struggling right now, just know there’s people out here who care. Sending love to anyone that needs it right now 💜",5.103222222222222,6.258234946153845,5.020256410256412,84.79696581196585,68.76923076923077,7.008547008547009,28.290598290598286,6.937597516519254,1.4411111111111117,533,18,99,4,9,165,83,130,0.065,0.767,0.168,0.9578,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,12,5,0,1,3,0,11,3,0,0,1,23,23,7,0,4,7,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,9,8,0,1,4,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,2,2,4,4,19,20,3,20,0,0,0,1,14,9,0,4,8,67,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18700620929401646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166545102602441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3598386740961185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17489860337825228,0.0,0.0,0.14776832956031855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13696240814384406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17685237245543273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15011764749431392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772488451369728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16391582758770493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962366698107135,0.0,0.0974913284779952,0.14388137451172825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3073360541501562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22996210702226416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524745001424772,0.0,0.0,0.2828251554297804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548234424764243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13692326741452088,0.0,0.0,0.12719629336365465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378513856059696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929920317952769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793330484432188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616763988983903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000551557402007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18603008968439946,0.12488469167561088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ivegotanxiety,2020/03/22,"Possibly Important Thought Something a lot of people don't think about, is the difference between addicted and dependent. One who's addicted to something, that's within the mind. It's a chemical imbalance solely. On the other hand, being dependent means that your body requires it or you're going to start having possibly fatal withdrawals because of it. I'm addicted to coke, ice, and H (although, H seems rather infrequent these days.) But I've developed a physical dependence, yet. Important to consider whether someone's addicted, or physically dependent. If one of your loved ones is addicted to something, it's likely that they're missing something else in life. It could be missing the sense of achievement, sense of family or community, anything. That's something you could work to fix if you're close to them. Being physically dependent on the other hand, is a matter of willpower and outside help, ex. clinics and suboxone.

​

\*Just coming down from a 3 day binge, wanted to share and record this thought for later.",6.926238095238098,9.271936099999998,7.05873015873016,67.355,65.77777777777777,10.920634920634923,38.96825396825397,10.914260884657429,5.2763253968253965,838,47,120,26,14,269,109,180,0.045,0.843,0.113,0.875,1,0,5,0,0,0,35.0,0,3,1,3,4,6,0,0,10,0,10,12,3,5,0,33,23,13,1,6,9,1,2,1,0,0,7,0,0,0,14,7,1,1,5,0,0,2,1,3,0,3,2,2,4,3,23,16,1,13,0,2,0,1,9,6,0,12,6,81,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6117945989013288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161274105148732,0.1363847240759845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923645245941668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06842088302932803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12467410407615567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966854162275852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792301162004341,0.0,0.0,0.14477191961180633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726763215524964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376269433877717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058105336536529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06378897088788933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07523256877903686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792789189137791,0.05483513178662358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09542302113199523,0.10130160516912598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226301622770655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133311009836214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281715896871026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07781356223639868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530690276898927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217970898789154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09510117266037303,0.4320418349027771,0.0,0.0,0.07944453829733572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07191930226682021,0.0,0.17821314139034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06620246719772796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171255932199803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363847240759845,0.0
addiction,serenajbach,2020/03/22,"My dad broke quarantine to get his fix That’s it, he left the house today to get stuff for him and my mom. I’m looking for advice because I’m trying very hard to be understanding but I’m just so angry. I don’t really know what to do.",0.3455769230769228,2.046817788461542,3.216000000000001,90.529,82.65384615384616,6.467692307692308,18.09230769230769,7.554174236665415,0.2738800000000001,183,4,43,3,5,65,40,52,0.175,0.825,0.0,-0.8445,0,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,11,3,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,5,0,6,10,0,2,0,1,1,0,5,1,0,0,1,23,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714782711859781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16935386243625294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902944570469415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488682843933176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32056199920525225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15268023447431045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3018475536538786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332952049771869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3253743715280852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17797584111250744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3180324914760097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633367843928112,0.0,0.0,0.1886186132043904,0.0,0.0,0.2892159248458705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22922703459579455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,kNOwboundries,2020/03/22,"How my child sexual trauma plays a roll in my same sex encounters as an adult. Secondary title:
***How childhood sexual trauma influences adult men ...who sleep with men.***

Post topics:
Addiction- Recovery 
Trauma 
Sexuality 


Hello Reddit world.

This is my first post- After years of confusion- seeking answers- shaming myself - working towards healing - I finally decided to take this to the world to find out where others stand with this. 

Specifically with men(although I know this affects women also)
I know there are men out there that struggle with this exact same thing as me- I am trying to find them- I have met a few along the way.
But there is such a lack of support when it comes to men “like me”.

Here is a quick version:
When I was a child - between the ages 6-9(hard to remember exactly) I was convinced by another boy on the street to engage in sexual behaviour(details not important)- this was a first for me. It opened a world I knew nothing about. However I was intrigued- curious - and above all I trusted this other boy whom was a couple years older.

At some point this switched - what was going on didn’t feel right to me anymore- what was first a rush of positive emotions had quickly turned into something I was ashamed of immensely.

I obsessed over this experience- crying myself to sleep- questioning my sexuality- I had been sexually traumatized and I suppressed this.

Little did I know I would be struggling with the same type of feelings 2 decades later.

In my early 20s I was introduced to mdma - from that moment my life had never been the same.

Drugs changed my life- but I will only comment on how it applies to the childhood sexual trauma.

Typically cocaine or crystal became the main ones for these sexual escapades.

Being under the influence allowed me to tap into a part of me that was - conflicted- confused.
That inner child left questioning between what felt good and what right(or wrong).

I found myself getting trapped in a cycle of using drugs- seeking out same sex encounters- and being filled with shame, guilt and remorse after EVERYTIME I engaged. Not to mention the  crazy fear of thinking I contracted something - specifically HIV 

Sometimes I did it sober- but only because I could NOT stop obsessing - and I felt in order to relieve me of this I’d have the compulsion to act out- again- I hated myself for doing it. The act never lasted long- it was just something I felt I HAD to do.

I identify as straight- I am extremely attracted to females- in all aspects.
When it comes to these men - it is a different type “attraction” if I would even call it that.

So what am I attracted to? The fact that is was taboo? Because it was something different- it was “forbidden”. Maybe I had unfinished business.
A psychologist-  Joe Kort calls it returning to the sexual scene of the crime - childhood sexual trauma does not orient but disorients.

Also Pleasure is pleasure- I feel as though every time I engaged in that behaviour I’d hope that I’d feel differently about the outcome. But it was always negative and in turn I reinforced those feelings I experienced as a child due to the sexual trauma. The ones that told me I am inherently wrong for this. How could I “enjoy” something that was wrong. 

Once I did drugs I was inhibited to do what I wanted without feeling guilty. Again a whole new world was introduced to me and I have been struggling to overcome  this for years.

Truthfully-  I just want to connect with other people who have been struggling with this- to see where they are at in their journey. Maybe they have overcome this. Or on the other hand-  still are acting out but they have a family. Living a double life.

Although I am not with anyone and don’t have a family - I couldn’t help but feel like I lived a double life. So much shame.

I’d like to keep this all inclusive- meaning if there are parts of my story you don’t relate too- but others you do- please focus on that which you do- the similarities not the differences.
All input matters- this is a space to heal.
I’m getting my voice back- owning my story so it looses its power.

Thank you for letting me share.
I look forward to hearing what people have to say. Not sure this has ever been talked about on here.",3.4731947562180103,6.373498230373232,4.350335667893808,79.96497912364194,78.92277992277992,7.2175570919756975,26.79550148154799,8.283103749626381,2.317254179761156,3363,138,562,70,86,1081,354,777,0.126,0.755,0.11900000000000001,-0.6264,7,1,9,0,0,0,113.0,0,4,5,5,36,47,1,14,42,0,74,16,3,9,12,119,113,40,0,11,22,0,11,3,0,3,11,3,0,14,64,29,0,5,24,1,0,10,15,24,0,5,39,17,80,23,99,64,21,93,0,0,2,3,40,43,0,10,40,449,144,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107443783182936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10427615850657647,0.054249191237807984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06836482030696152,0.0,0.0,0.06465798181783902,0.04558731243574597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05013252815630292,0.0,0.07948706650892079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13314701102082793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06896986308053832,0.11232301849759146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041091223619467,0.07213932609086851,0.07161592812087972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724682776301647,0.0,0.0,0.05705440180074532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268237332958507,0.0,0.0,0.07333793680455428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043062054743969236,0.05897448912450313,0.05493134964857395,0.0,0.0,0.0637752520496508,0.1229240043901098,0.07336483795773216,0.2307592090561807,0.046576805131882136,0.187798255754797,0.07142021149957331,0.11917789522434097,0.1663698022283913,0.0,0.07148523021868589,0.0,0.0,0.06812556407783997,0.0,0.03705300156187614,0.0546842152808623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058403775352271016,0.06436861615415115,0.0,0.0,0.07348184462535297,0.0,0.04370022669550303,0.0,0.0,0.06475540870581051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057950158030728574,0.0,0.0,0.10749182608833613,0.053144319830790696,0.0,0.0,0.07083681537488452,0.06666842889342492,0.184202495537912,0.09555599637936138,0.0653445994560857,0.11514042764559587,0.057697361879418,0.05474912472461075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13099845469127125,0.07101873048252895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047927353571501616,0.0,0.1005680107487242,0.06296774363558949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06255835415407579,0.0,0.0,0.06943275964397763,0.08835845393932712,0.09917063053304592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412041628620931,0.0,0.09039888880313704,0.0,0.0,0.07156681268617825,0.061632311714426624,0.0,0.12488155605254428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14607129551262366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385557929990934,0.11135589576233973,0.0,0.05184733277905424,0.0,0.0,0.05195362960525612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13048832392809845,0.0,0.0,0.2509594771733137,0.06448157664785359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05206647024168581,0.054507676050365036,0.0,0.27263256446699874,0.0,0.0,0.07398487082960678,0.06144747388741045,0.0,0.04902008833927711,0.052402941204343585,0.0,0.06002470937963365,0.0,0.0,0.04331404123310525,0.04177565466458186,0.06405579753606422,0.0,0.038016940141379546,0.0,0.0,0.06229860142888829,0.0,0.04426453591585857,0.14183139682972126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05630934186617127,0.0,0.0,0.07690985091415488,0.05175040537743891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07279020861138126,0.0,0.06284765606440619,0.0,0.04746424885117112,0.0,0.0,0.09262826639939477,0.2138483080321041,0.0,0.1259543408542915
addiction,southerngal772,2020/03/22,"A closer step to realization Hey y’all, 

I’ve been prescribed alprazolam (Xanax) for a few years now. I initially had bad anxiety but after some time I started to realize that I love the feeling of not caring about personal issues that drive my anxiety through the roof sometimes. But sometimes I feel like it’s getting outta hand. Like yes I’m prescribed, but nowadays I catch myself taking them throughout the day due to boredom, if I’m being completely honest. 

I’ve never gotten to the point of overdosing, but it has gotten to the point where I’m functioning all day, every day on bars. If I’m not on bars, I get bored and feel like something is mentally missing. 
I can’t tell if this would be considered a substance abuse problem or if I’d be considered an addict. I’ve come to this realization a while ago, but would really like some support or advice as to helping me figure out if this could potentially end up being a bigger problem. 

I would also like to add that I never really black out on Xanax either. But it definitely does make me feel zoned out/disconnected from reality. Which is a great feeling, but lately it’s started to affect my academics. I could be barred and laying in bed all day with no motivation to do anything whatsoever. And be completely content with this, knowing that I have other responsibilities to take care of. 

Has anyone gone through something like this personally?? Where they feel the need to be on xans or any other anti anxiety medication 24/7?? Just wanna make sure I’m not the only one going through this state of confusion as to if I have an addiction issue or not. 

Thanks for your support!!",6.262961165048544,7.211685352750813,7.1617135922330135,71.23480339805828,66.02265372168284,9.934045307443368,33.24935275080906,10.008157457239328,3.4729325566343032,1310,55,223,29,20,438,167,309,0.12300000000000001,0.6729999999999999,0.204,0.9875,0,0,2,0,1,0,33.0,0,2,2,1,6,21,0,1,15,1,22,10,1,4,5,62,55,24,0,15,23,0,7,6,0,3,5,0,1,2,17,9,3,0,10,3,0,6,8,6,0,1,5,8,21,15,38,38,6,38,0,1,1,1,10,14,0,13,23,153,38,2,0.0,0.11309316900582675,0.0,0.2081101478593627,0.0,0.09327307003090683,0.0846110602322971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763316862820532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06490957565091321,0.0,0.21905798721238467,0.0,0.0,0.06674117039069563,0.0,0.07854758322797792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07969713450372642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19463617997955285,0.0,0.0,0.08222210650069812,0.20015595086358476,0.0,0.0,0.15241882672021936,0.0,0.0,0.2462305621069724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352932754019778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454076296713366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042111655197341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895756773657117,0.13637963378265142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09973783575177697,0.0,0.05424668747940462,0.0,0.0,0.10523445244547833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639784211913669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19925093129288107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05245706825907172,0.0,0.10767225934888301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797935958693151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861477531347809,0.0,0.1274278262791827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615628131648234,0.09619159825079432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07077529542736959,0.14723453484331467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06467969172491718,0.07259436448998505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666872935408955,0.0,0.0,0.18046304543628244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18266636976438325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12229599827180472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14696483150474576,0.1888058612878689,0.0,0.1351206323279739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21663206741270985,0.08996091468602878,0.0,0.14353371118466154,0.0,0.08342789597029576,0.08787794547012677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05565792199934873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034157722986064,0.0,0.0,0.06146695703439069
addiction,Boobznow,2020/03/22,"Parent ignoring kids, meth addiction - what shoulf I do? Posting this for a friend of mine and my heart totally breaks for him. Here it goes:

A few years ago, my friends dad had gotten back into meth. It has gotten worse over the years and he is now homeless, balls deep in his addition, with his extremely possessive and controlling girlfriend. 

 I am really close to their family and have always treated this guy like a father figure. I've reached out to him over Facebook quite a bit, but he doesn't reply, or when he does, it's for a game invitation to 8-ball pool.

His kids, in their 20s, have been trying to reach out to their dad for going on a year now. He will read their messages but will never respond (unless it's a game request).

My friends grandma (his mom) just passed and he refused to travel because his girlfriend wouldn't let him go. His family has tried to talk with him on many occasions.

It's devastating to them! None of them are in the same state, and there's no way to check in on him. He's just reached out to all of his family asking for help.

Does anyone have any words of encouragement, suggestions on what to do in this situation? Plz help me help my heartbroken friend!!!

Thank you.",5.0042948717948725,6.047324076923079,5.2923824786324785,83.16754807692311,68.91452991452992,8.926923076923078,27.44551282051281,9.188382445141503,2.080428205128206,950,30,189,18,16,301,134,234,0.08900000000000001,0.76,0.151,0.9166,1,0,2,0,0,0,36.0,0,1,6,2,8,9,0,0,9,0,17,2,1,1,3,30,23,11,0,1,6,5,0,1,6,3,1,0,0,3,10,14,0,3,1,6,1,4,5,1,0,0,4,0,27,8,38,15,6,34,0,0,0,0,52,17,0,1,10,125,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14671606739185553,0.0,0.0,0.1193003046014564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11198439608389704,0.0,0.0,0.0915215117910713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09410403244218428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581756553021245,0.0,0.0,0.10348653614267944,0.0,0.08204095707585815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14693051257375125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509470316345886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23555015600422935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3806205239677497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4159160434626071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15297400415844625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13325899414577208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15948229889744087,0.27062579460989433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13762092258233066,0.0,0.06575078388314676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364467193080593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15762276964995675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103799224394758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14943924046084803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12889395507536214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431463010287442,0.13462009190042765,0.0,0.08621774626927746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15127768576662326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10817325733141192,0.0,0.1239065629665101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827469574888978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10682625419953667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371522592135712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600024161260303
addiction,whattheflyingfuck2,2020/03/22,21 days its been 21 days since i was good... and today i start from day 1...i feel defeated,-2.3181666666666665,-0.5413951499999996,0.5800000000000018,102.77833333333334,100.5,4.666666666666667,11.666666666666668,6.42735559955562,-1.087333333333333,67,1,18,1,3,23,16,20,0.162,0.838,0.0,-0.4767,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,2,1,1,2,0,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,7,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7426985729613397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19409761548825072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32197428150285434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3175435367198812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27170713483303593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3638665175609554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Dan78757,2020/03/22,"Getting by as an addict in the time of Coronavirus ""The opposite of addiction isn't sobriety.  The opposite of addiction is connection"".

This is one of the many sayings that we addicts know by heart, but this one has always hit home with me because I know that deep down my addiction soothes me because I am lonely and feel unworthy of the rest of the world.  Whenever I reflect on my acting out behavior I ultimately know that I'm trying to fill a hole in myself that can only be filled by connecting with other humans. My vice isn't important, because no matter if it's drugs or alcohol or sex or gambling or food we are all throwing it into the hole that can only be filled by connecting with others and learning to love who we are unconditionally. 

Over the last few weeks the reality of Coronavirus has hit home.  I've been acting out more, but the disturbing part is that I've been excusing my acting out due to Coronavirus.  The reason I've allowed these excuses to become a part of my life is because I've suddenly been told that I'm no longer to have that which I know can help me.  I cannot connect with my brothers and sisters in meetings.  I cannot connect with my family.  And I am not allowed to find new people to connect with.  As responsible people we have to ""social distance"" so that we can all stay safe.  But ""social distancing"" is just a fancy word for isolate.  And any addict worth their salt knows that isolation is the exact behavior we have to avoid if we are going to stay sober.  It is our road to hell, paved with good intentions.

I don't have an answer for this.  I just want all the other addicts out there who are suffering under these conditions to know that I'm thinking of you and that you don't suffer alone.  We have the tools to make it through this, and we will come out stronger in our sobriety.  Our addiction does not own us, and it will not make this any easier.  Please be safe and stay strong and lets all make it out the other side.  I don't know you, but if you understand what I'm taking about and can relate I love you.

Best of luck to you all and please take care of each other.",6.473149068322983,6.014346319047622,7.096501035196693,76.70878881987579,65.57142857142857,10.732919254658382,32.546583850931675,10.276239652853533,3.1359316770186343,1674,60,328,36,23,554,184,420,0.071,0.765,0.16399999999999998,0.9921,2,5,2,0,0,0,35.0,13,6,1,2,5,15,1,2,20,0,41,16,1,7,6,87,70,26,0,4,16,2,1,0,0,2,11,1,2,1,34,37,2,3,15,0,2,9,12,6,0,2,4,3,43,9,57,58,13,37,1,3,0,3,35,19,1,8,6,242,77,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6700795259356465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211172796542973,0.0,0.07957641469014731,0.0,0.0,0.06393169164600722,0.0,0.0,0.10449893512699054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18734814326051605,0.084856650048791,0.0,0.0,0.08063209952852826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07833695314245362,0.0,0.0,0.0661853238683134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06723758160712508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910255707161056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243185903095946,0.0,0.038849365469761934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07022449804922283,0.0,0.09290746712269614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04014237315301547,0.0,0.043666292830591626,0.06444435962030441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09104815949955096,0.051499927541968665,0.0,0.15414068609616605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29558007447979745,0.06262962065674073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856753882014965,0.05426982815988728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13869060729317542,0.0,0.1538610291877758,0.07789718826877277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420634811141201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10412884142003746,0.11687079617069294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16640655451726669,0.0,0.10653345703845324,0.0,0.0,0.16868039122218553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07899771447757306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06110114485150715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566443131446718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456831123478537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11553857672932673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049231854178588635,0.0,0.0,0.04480227702914597,0.0,0.0,0.07341777611153423,0.0,0.0521649557616636,0.0,0.0,0.07998646405487563,0.09242133368978127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045318434809746434,0.0,0.06163126149136354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Inclinedtoramble,2020/03/22,Terrified About to start tapering down lyrica again and I'm so scared. Last time the suicidal thoughts and skin crawling anxiety were unbearable,8.31625,11.377838125000006,6.789999999999999,67.75500000000001,63.58333333333334,13.133333333333333,41.16666666666667,12.161744961471696,6.629316666666666,121,7,17,5,2,36,23,24,0.423,0.5770000000000001,0.0,-0.9318,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,4,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,9,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3448959427883109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3674996495575522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4513754794559541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31911110708594986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4931523298705866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3579213503229806,0.2628919181521409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Goldooo,2020/03/23,"I smoke weed... Ive been smoking since I was 15. I’m 19 now. Haven’t gone without smoking weed for longer then 2 weeks in 3 years or so


I smoke too much ganja. I just got my medical card and I blew through an Oz(28grams)in a week and a half. 


I’m starting to smoke just to feel normal and I feel off when I’m not high. I feel like an uncomfortable high from life? 


I use to smoke and it would relieve stress/lower back pain. Now sometimes it brings more stress and even headaches, I feel like I still want to smoke to feel “high” even though the high isn’t even noticeable until after I wake up. Wake and bake is the most high I get after that it’s just a weird feeling that I wouldn’t say is a real “high” 


Tolerance break is what I should do and I will have too do because I’m out of a job and ran through my 3,000 in savings on 70% weed and 20% food. Leaving me with 10% left of what I had in my savings.


****I need tips on how to help get out of this weed dependent lifestyle I have grown into.****",-0.5472456964006227,1.5940753708920212,1.1148356807511741,101.12073552425665,91.06572769953051,4.282316118935838,17.74804381846635,5.82211442006289,-0.6030200312989042,766,21,187,6,27,246,118,213,0.077,0.87,0.053,-0.6920000000000001,2,0,5,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,0,16,8,0,1,9,0,17,7,2,3,0,38,37,16,0,6,6,0,6,2,0,4,3,1,1,0,8,13,2,0,6,0,0,4,5,3,0,1,6,7,23,5,28,27,3,35,0,0,0,0,2,17,0,3,15,116,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260175350633782,0.0,0.06548414089791194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21285588592387206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3258981630167055,0.15348620618618267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12989647106501026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122482998242822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08591608761560215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07200345736442164,0.6809905870257291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660087747055293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11374558037348535,0.11671554134527573,0.0,0.0758761311829131,0.10496302699079896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10821749854350768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07896835829985056,0.07965288720576623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10525185595926616,0.0,0.1223019416073118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143057805749624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12227103596370567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542718190520912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886152038714888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10624421899010857,0.0,0.07603464189730419,0.0,0.08578824765110292,0.0,0.24610565710565155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10554267644809834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09277909070198784,0.0,0.0,0.06336094329427405,0.0,0.17233670495914954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035520606201564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07631030700254288,0.0,0.0,0.06917697151213383
addiction,nnaleahcim,2020/03/23,How to deal with SO's relapse? I need help or advice or just someone to listen. My boyfriend has been battling drug addiction for years. Hes been working toward sobriety since August 2019. He had one relapse in December where he OD'd and I  thought I lost him. He got back on the right track until late last week. He relapsed again. What can I do to help him? How can I support him without enabling him? I need him to know I love him but also that this is not okay. Hes been trying so hard I just dont know what if anything to do to try to keep him from relapsing again and how to deal with a relapse if it does happen again.,1.2506153846153865,3.3125240615384652,2.560769230769232,94.5142307692308,81.46153846153845,5.230769230769232,23.07692307692308,6.297961479604792,0.3969999999999998,488,17,107,4,13,157,82,130,0.06,0.871,0.069,0.2941,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,3,13,5,1,0,2,1,13,3,0,3,0,22,25,14,0,4,9,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,7,2,18,3,17,18,0,15,0,1,0,1,19,5,0,4,10,75,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902941549381622,0.0,0.17057620901806414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395940936610577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436464884250051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13422444653012802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.359923586412085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527570179572076,0.0,0.20458085787323665,0.0,0.2024320415054724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396101029181343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15436120017139546,0.0,0.156369820358699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340053038281717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15515530881978998,0.0,0.0,0.1918651940344475,0.14228819446862778,0.19690920230304884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905508467123544,0.0,0.157545550288907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588653205503771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11828512357572885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14907171078591916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14439630982985835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14790255845289582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980865259327333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13857967690729606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370270581884512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14002002292961596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16826783250707028,0.0,0.1270804159757048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11240972884593983
addiction,thatway12345,2020/03/23,"Idle Time Is Dangerous.. Hello,

First and foremost I hope each and everyone of you is safe and healthy during this crisis.  Please be safe and continue to take precautionary measures to keep those around you safe as well.

I've battled with alcoholism for some time now. I'm in my twenties and i'm at the point where i am afraid of the results if i don't stop harming my body. 

Sometimes i am strong enough to quit for a good while; other times i am weak and fall back. 

During this time of confusion, uncertainty and fear; idle time is hard for a person like me to endure. 

How are you staying on top of your shit? Are you sober? If so, how'd you do it? 

A friend seeking a friend. 

Feel free to message me if need be, i'd love to get in contact with some redditors and share some of our thoughts.",2.5060982142857138,4.3579825562500005,3.3221428571428615,91.60000000000002,76.5625,6.571428571428572,24.55357142857143,7.447530270364453,0.9670446428571432,619,21,134,8,14,196,99,160,0.115,0.621,0.264,0.9791,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,1,6,0,4,7,21,3,3,6,0,12,5,2,2,0,30,22,15,0,5,3,0,2,1,2,0,2,0,0,1,5,12,1,5,2,0,1,1,1,8,1,1,1,2,16,14,22,19,5,21,0,0,0,1,15,8,1,8,12,85,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835620972091155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15290522487272334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13207491926057288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19078964613953106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774767912042403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16412662708957268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932807980403888,0.08684838545688947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14610127067070502,0.0,0.0,0.2654068824168805,0.0,0.0897389250658653,0.0,0.0,0.14406640924889474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15386564767119226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17059912378326866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15267058583566856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08391458247972565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15502254896316073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273598707049955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499765703932653,0.0,0.18854387270862502,0.16237127655214698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826907813858494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17631195024783156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16987770899978,0.0,0.0,0.18307619170804995,0.0,0.14360131392113562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291441793912839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13636040312953826,0.5007810781108053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15443530129733213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,estrocide,2020/03/23,"I'm at the end of my tether. Any CAs in London UK, who needs to just TALK? Meds/doctors/rehab don't have any impact on me. Talking might. Let's mutually talk to help each other Centralish Londoner here.

I'm very serious.

I've failed with medication, failed with psychiatry, failed with rehabs, relapsed after sectioning. If you want to talk about your own addiction one-on-one, I want to also. Let's help each other. You can come to my flat or we can meet somewhere public.",2.2659782608695664,4.8221484239130445,4.030608695652177,82.55134782608697,81.06521739130434,7.1582608695652175,22.243478260869566,8.238735603445708,1.5495443478260869,373,12,70,8,10,125,66,92,0.132,0.7829999999999999,0.086,-0.7418,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,3,0,3,4,4,0,0,1,0,7,3,0,0,0,14,13,3,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,0,8,0,14,10,4,7,0,3,0,0,13,4,0,3,2,42,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108085184966738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15464281646031786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26300479087572143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16657640809328852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712738487478627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592318793838478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.395480376750298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19480610068256304,0.0,0.2051415085386262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14338594565115492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13103666620395354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6217136139040296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15955555424721918,0.22811649622013955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,totomoto101,2020/03/23,"L o c k down Lockdown has brought beautiful moments in my life. Even though things are tense in my county and globally, it been helping me to go inwards to understand LIFE and it's offerings without any label of good or bad.

Lockdown!

L - Listening  to the inner self 
O -Observing Slowdown
C- Converting perspective towards change 
K-  Knowing a real quality time with family
D -Difference between real and fake life
O -Option to feel patience with Nature
W-Worry is just a state of mind 
N -Not worth to run and chase things which don't matter in real life

Nature has given us a golden moment to take a pause and recover.

 #smokefreecoach",4.866694915254237,7.154543974576273,5.912000000000003,73.693593220339,71.11864406779661,8.787796610169492,32.9864406779661,9.3871,3.5966888135593216,511,25,80,12,10,169,88,118,0.105,0.8170000000000001,0.078,-0.2575,0,2,1,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,5,0,6,4,0,0,0,20,14,7,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,5,7,0,0,3,0,1,3,3,2,0,0,3,2,4,1,17,11,0,14,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,2,3,47,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11239676050153803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13800274689283348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17484540239368834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726834863588564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916655410517848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558122348766631,0.0,0.08357104923672548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09393301187817336,0.13862987685216127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11078438291733653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083412545225546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4669714860335261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668867126508555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5643779519924474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17242414904370912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12427075664985007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196107293951144,0.0,0.16238776177884162,0.0,0.0963766912083652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720633695035366,0.1988127150834486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159325004041975,0.0,0.0,0.1678508975078943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,braveContrarian,2020/03/23,"I disagree with the definition of the 'addiction disorder' I believe addiction is not a single overarching disorder but much more complex than current medical science and neurology accept.  


for one i dont believe it is a lifetime illness that 'never goes away' either -- i think what 'never goes away' is a sort of mental inclination along with potentially other non-treatable (or poorly treated with modern psychiatric drugs) mental illness that lead to the enduring desire to go back and re-experience or use again.  


however i would say that not only does addiction end with post withdrawal -- that once someone is free of constant urge and withdrawal they are no longer addicted -- but that each individual drug has a unique addiction syndrome and is NOT related to other addictions regardless of the fact that certain reward centers of the brain are held in common.  


this explains why each drug user has a different DOC, why actually one can use their DOC again and quit immediately (though this is not advised and is a risk, it does NOT ALWAYS end in re-addiction and i have proven this personally. its anecdotal, because I AM THE test subject and the test holder, but its true, just unlikely and a serious risk because if you believe that you 'can get away with it' and do it again and again you get yourself back into the cycle.  


this cycle is not created by addiction tho -- its a mental inclination for the reward which endures. the feeling. I would say that each drug you experience this differently, and depending on your state of being mentally, either affects or does not.  


for example i could smoke crack every day for 10 years and suddenly stop, feel better in 3 days and move on like nothing happened. other drugs tho this may not be the case for me.  


this is because my personal set of mental disabilities and struggles lends to the benefit mentally of one specific type of drug over all others -- because it helps. the urge to get help is mainly the drive here.  


so its a set of disorders, multiple disorders, that cannot be treated the same or considered the same. treating people addicted to sex, the same as video games or crack or heroin or PCP is not going to work. each one is unique and characterized by different symptoms and root causes.  


the only success ive had staying off drugs has been outside of AA and NA, denying the supposed definition of addiction and acting alone. Ive done everything they say not to (use drugs to quit drugs in substitution, deny the supposed research, continue use of alcohol on a limited basis etc)  


and im 100% fine. not an alcoholic, not a problem usually. Im one of the 1/1000000 who actually had enough willpower and intelligence, with tons of years of struggling, to actually make it work.  


and even if it is insane odds for a person to make it work. the fact that i have proves something. if im not onto something, then i shouldve failed.  


but im not on maintenance. i dont take anything. i dont go to meetings.  What they say works didnt work at all and what they say couldnt work worked wonders.  


its tough though. ive tried to advise others on my quit method. most of them abuse the quit drugs and never stop getting high. it requires absolute strength of will, high intelligence and great wisdom. you also need godlike willpower.  


if you arent prepared to be tortured in war and not give up information to the enemy, you dont have enough willpower.  


but on in a million will die before talking. so if you will then you can do it. you just have to masochistically suffer for about 6 months to a year.",6.691398809523811,7.661745876524392,7.194111498257843,71.3036178861789,65.08231707317073,10.515911730545877,35.28368176538908,10.504223727775694,3.964096225319396,2829,129,479,70,42,928,297,656,0.133,0.755,0.11199999999999999,-0.9129999999999999,9,1,16,0,1,0,75.0,0,11,6,20,18,28,2,4,39,0,54,28,1,11,10,122,77,53,2,13,36,0,2,1,0,6,26,5,0,3,42,38,2,5,9,2,2,7,27,11,1,6,6,7,36,18,75,59,20,64,0,2,0,1,36,24,0,17,29,350,78,17,0.0,0.04866433619867798,0.12024285139377308,0.4477521626997127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08778827552612034,0.0,0.042538845493183514,0.0,0.03284575785165652,0.03417570851409664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03379926507853906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157672301852396,0.06316461610769553,0.0,0.1001499470744646,0.0,0.03494977285780725,0.13882432693176713,0.0,0.03632539297435722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04585062532466845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042192892757197335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044384908846086375,0.0,0.03279314343971846,0.0,0.0,0.052976881637058895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04262689305277073,0.1287364321452332,0.18829111480772226,0.0,0.10782877463597057,0.04203154841987677,0.19254721005901831,0.0,0.476311972972829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07275629726696173,0.08487798779058553,0.045806826232490265,0.027128076886836737,0.0,0.034605452192755015,0.0,0.03691342076632243,0.08035380342934595,0.0,0.0,0.04153509960611577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583499097992256,0.0394005978544926,0.0700275461471864,0.0,0.0,0.04528270644911096,0.0,0.0,0.03632038053723997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05506022027125071,0.08679095212172466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17746190255815766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.020066006543271512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05483258302539372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04137634167240343,0.2483492319429288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03278377190800822,0.043653692989762585,0.03019310017602893,0.030454825888386033,0.0950332053649749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039410284797044066,0.0,0.0,0.04374099780621527,0.13915934494531892,0.062475153729010614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02847458186234776,0.10758907762816247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03933621461497593,0.0,0.0,0.039300948538934205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17474314029123794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16331297221767782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03480069602643589,0.06323941607260583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043777946003825126,0.0,0.06867709567547656,0.0,0.08587603650928909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042690176625572764,0.03088149725725007,0.03301261462185358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0263176752358161,0.08070727748305419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02788561160922608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14189421890571552,0.045235686136159074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07412329878780481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044541502283730064,0.20930948602112284,0.0,0.0,0.058353618927789175,0.0,0.0,0.07934825830401397
addiction,grimmhoodie,2020/03/23,"I'm a 22yo trans female, and i just relapsed on cocaine. Let me start by saying I was sober for about 6 months. This is the second time I've relapsed (the first time I was also sober for about 6 months). At first I was so ready to be done with it, I was glad to be giving it up. It was so difficult coming out of the haze that I was in. Coming down was like being slapped in the face with reality. I cried like someone I loved had just died. To finally feel clarity after all that time was so... different... and it took a lot to adjust.

I've always struggled with depression, and anxiety. Being transgender feels like it adds a layer of grief and self-loathing at times. I've always struggled with a lack of self-worth. I tend to not talk about it to anyone, just like how I tend to not talk about addiction.

Well... about a month ago my depression took a turn for the worst. My obsessive thoughts came back harder, and all I could think about was coke. I tried to reason with myself like I had done before, but this time it wasn't the same. I couldn't rationalize like I did before. I could feel myself slipping, and in a way I feel like I just let it consume me.

A week ago, I used again for the first time. Now we're in the middle of a pandemic and I have an 8 ball and nothing to do. I feel like it's only down hill from here... I fear that I'm falling back into this vicious cycle and it will be even harder to get myself out of it this time. I'm not sure where to go from here.",2.3793655913978458,3.5691802645161315,3.7597580645161313,91.11297043010752,75.38709677419354,6.844086021505376,21.626344086021504,7.333567415737692,0.4937311827956985,1142,27,259,13,24,376,144,310,0.12,0.785,0.096,-0.7396,1,0,1,0,0,0,45.0,0,0,0,3,24,22,1,4,18,0,29,4,1,3,3,49,53,15,2,4,8,0,5,8,0,1,1,1,0,0,18,21,1,0,9,1,0,7,5,10,1,4,19,6,29,12,48,23,6,46,0,3,0,1,5,15,0,1,31,183,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09797946416987957,0.0,0.0,0.15934151082355136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07187480089777322,0.1495701366419923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875584693962558,0.0,0.0,0.06284425992883458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13822010827178802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15295783260185036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027956254853726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15484257775457133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14351933459334146,0.0,0.09872593406809926,0.0,0.0,0.15482228000987666,0.0,0.09327839122774424,0.09390259233798004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18395125408570212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05936307311851347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10113688875059264,0.22722317962197586,0.19262496681428548,0.0,0.09845612947632586,0.0,0.2293486177823357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04695715132078277,0.08621844375869876,0.05107930994133749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18381114615303212,0.0,0.35127585890993657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641042023559848,0.08111772326728617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2152174800662057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08623964123175876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.068355695362711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924087775921821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147399317246793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18752313748435206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07615269860116376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361557708726877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879184232518406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08470824039898257,0.0,0.0,0.14447985117450873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057589709947007385,0.0,0.07135249368339339,0.3668570131037808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997138539243136,0.06102075011871514,0.09776063439799962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07762508311160038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134037417858831,0.07209410517183862,0.0,0.08081043768873876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,fsociety-59,2020/03/23,"What are some telltale signs in everyday life and relationships that prove that you have an addictive personality? (A lot of stuff that I'm mentioning here does come from my own personal experience.)
What are some casual everyday things that addictive personalities do that go a bit too far?  Like the mild mostly unnoticeable stuff like having 3 or more cups of coffee everyday no matter what, because otherwise you get bored out of your mind with life and your panic, anxieties and worries set in. For eg: you can have this one behaviour of yours other than drugs or alcohol that you can count on to make everything better if life feels like shit. 
How can you know whether you have an addictive personality? Can someone please share their experiences? 
Also, how can you handle the situation if you do want to experiment with drugs and alcohol but are afraid that you might have an addictive personality and might get hooked to it?

Addictive personalities show obsessive behaviours in friendships and romantic relationship as well. Like substituting a previous addiction with a new lover and then being completely addicted to them and feeling out of control. Does this happen to someone else?

I'm sorry if my thoughts are all over the place here. I watched this show ""Feel Good"" on Netflix last night and I'm panicking because a lot of my addictive tendencies are like Mae's character from the show. I'm afraid it's confirming my suspicions that I have an addictive personality. I don't know what to do about it. I have tried weed once. And till now, I've only been addicted to and have gone overboad on coffee.
Please help.",7.575234119782213,8.943077365517244,7.737114337568059,66.77668784029039,63.27586206896552,12.450090744101635,35.60798548094374,12.017980161545427,4.915620689655173,1316,59,219,46,19,427,156,290,0.069,0.777,0.154,0.9769,0,0,4,0,0,0,27.0,0,12,2,2,9,17,1,4,13,0,26,19,1,4,2,47,44,24,0,4,7,0,3,5,1,2,17,0,0,7,22,17,2,1,7,5,0,3,2,6,1,1,3,4,22,11,32,38,9,24,0,0,1,1,27,11,1,12,14,152,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6954068257325711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13634454751053482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05101296232424828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04879929245983576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777717704057704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564172064953874,0.06964232559428864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054949568461539575,0.06688276178420287,0.0,0.0715460808000026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11164638556608834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14795265094256824,0.0,0.05328848747549863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05733047632257818,0.1871970300760413,0.0,0.0,0.09676265414136988,0.04557169806416885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06665544422413362,0.0,0.0362534140065601,0.053504153850811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05640942164636765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04275719493134587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07011479968757653,0.05199748867052763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351706147333101,0.1558232330051724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10846421388220713,0.0,0.0,0.04258042248025881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13534254336224846,0.0644098700228215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06160892728940848,0.0,0.059862737346853226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793443108212377,0.0432258585892522,0.048515285866952584,0.0,0.0748440002140154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3898937078200184,0.06664713286510167,0.14004486438753092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13697350309270728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06547967538705686,0.0,0.07170280469838751,0.0,0.0,0.10809837929586133,0.0,0.0,0.07140785373040304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14604892709758865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042379343182190235,0.0,0.0,0.05064225606953827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04330932660572871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037625084997736036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05735500845539539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647819968406693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,rodneyloll,2020/03/23,"what hobbies distract the mind from using? hey everyone, I struggle with drug addiction, & just wanted to ask what were some hobbies that helped distract you from using? 
my biggest problem with trying to quit is because I have nothing else to do since I’ve isolated myself for 2 years.
so what are some affordable hobbies that distract the mind from using ?",6.3121875,8.53076459375,5.811375000000003,76.19612500000002,67.125,7.620000000000001,36.2375,8.238735603445708,3.3173475000000003,290,15,43,4,5,89,45,64,0.21100000000000002,0.789,0.0,-0.9089,1,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,2,5,0,4,2,0,5,2,0,3,0,12,10,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,5,0,9,9,2,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,2,1,30,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22358593790000805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22222244865693067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917379527235739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250251909017452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378473362764208,0.0,0.17133217579408855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19597891527886116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374721555346775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4141788853999065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19679604529711814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962500725056396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181458414295349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16965830807099844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21441185286850045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13924735925274778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5314137148774707,0.0,0.0,0.12097148901183585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13207570490681814
addiction,jdhshshshshs,2020/03/23,"I’m getting out of a porn addiction I used to choke the chicken 3-4 times a day, well it’s down to like 2-3 times a week and I’m really glad that I’ve been able to better this.",0.6334108527131761,0.7317052093023264,3.720930232558139,93.91457364341088,78.30232558139534,7.593798449612403,21.310077519379846,7.793537801064563,0.4366496124031003,136,3,38,2,3,50,33,43,0.083,0.662,0.255,0.7425,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,3,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,4,6,4,0,6,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,5,17,4,0,0.35654243098140903,0.0,0.0,0.3886838774091607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3153328060897317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299403719636286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18627870444163264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17418862212368644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22841021107741502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4158055174870749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30793818422718444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28599683182538177,0.0,0.3205744644768755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,wwiinndyy,2020/03/24,"Substance I've struggled with depression most of my life, and spent much of my formative years feeling empty, as though life lacked substance. Then I started smoking, and drinking, and for a while that was enough for me, but after a while, it was on to the next step, pills, and then heroin. To me, it felt as though the misery I felt then was real, tangible, it had substance. As though I finally had an excuse to be as miserable as I had always felt. Even now, sober, the sadness feels empty again. Sorry if that didn't make much sense, just seeing if anybody relates.",6.976944444444442,6.7826220648148166,6.617037037037036,79.68166666666667,64.46296296296296,9.051851851851852,32.814814814814824,8.344100000000001,2.4691370370370374,445,16,82,5,6,139,68,108,0.225,0.752,0.023,-0.9747,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,2,6,0,8,4,0,1,0,18,17,20,0,3,4,0,5,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,5,1,0,5,1,1,1,1,4,0,0,11,6,8,0,15,5,5,14,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,3,12,66,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14263513508021086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476437564237344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16792629605823167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17712263739686604,0.0,0.1132212638583415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17335016011283802,0.0,0.4937701183413218,0.18778218222724768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24215796801456274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11442415134419112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520267821409969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18230706731185595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951134378783025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365995106575597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918906057402236,0.12133192674373268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17920535667319346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5052577075762688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11038883106992167
addiction,BigTimeRushVerified,2020/03/24,"I work with people experiencing homelessness w OUD Hello!
I work as a homeless outreach specialist on an opioid addiction team. We function on a harm reduction model and a housing first model. Harm reduction means we help the clients that choose abstinent sobriety achieve that, but we also help clients who continue to use can do so as safely as possible (i.e. clean needles). It's takes a focus on client autonomy. Housing first means regardless of drug use, mental health, and criminal history housing is a basic human right and we will help you get a voucher for an apartment. I would love some of your favorite resources to continue my education on how to best help my clients that are struggling with addiction. Podcasts, TED Talks, books, all are welcome.",7.738212197159567,9.38583393233083,7.562807017543862,67.16187134502928,63.060150375939855,11.02389306599833,41.09356725146199,10.980518767755715,5.2449421888053465,615,35,91,17,9,196,91,133,0.079,0.66,0.261,0.9854,0,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,4,2,0,7,3,7,0,1,9,0,7,5,0,3,1,21,14,10,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,1,5,9,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,3,0,2,0,1,11,4,15,12,3,10,0,0,0,1,17,6,0,1,4,59,16,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31379359662907863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11509479293337775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15103781288933565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16690443907121344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24484085607655706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.075193580232571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15298291619886098,0.0,0.0,0.3858729446649784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4982018186352577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12989569982884766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3135476487182839,0.0,0.0,0.1450400563888609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977775876302836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622510245612738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12290905177398705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504590742679018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10821182900843357,0.11567947560387955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.248605707579572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20955462769255429,0.0,0.0,0.10223843392105517,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,SachaNein,2020/03/24,"I have to show up. I was sober for a while and I realized all the addictions I have either “help me” cope with trying to show up, or remove my ability to do so all together. They remove my ability to bring my full self to the present moment. Wether it’s hanging out with a friend, talking to a check out clerk, or going to work, I have to bring my sober fully aware self to these situations or I am plagued with social anxieties and self doubt.",3.1059047619047604,4.502723622222224,4.502063492063492,85.685,73.8888888888889,8.253968253968255,25.079365079365076,8.841846274778883,1.7126031746031738,346,11,73,7,7,115,54,90,0.046,0.835,0.11900000000000001,0.7506,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,1,5,0,6,1,0,0,2,15,9,7,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,2,7,0,0,1,2,1,6,0,1,0,0,1,0,12,1,17,8,4,14,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,4,3,53,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653603293191621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18621324724620986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18806327797688616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13833942267665214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631572039258189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7618106805248411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736107723393101,0.0,0.2481328553592376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19564926799955515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652640834892662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17721038801369082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Colour_kitten,2020/03/24,"I wrote something, its not very good but it’s how I feel and I wanted to share it with someone. I hate that I can’t help my family.
That I’m too far gone to visit.
I hate that I barley get by,
When I could be thriving.
No ones knows how I struggle, 
Though they ask me all the time. 
It’s not their fault.
The problem is that I have no problems.
I’m an open book,
Written in invisible ink. 
I hate that I blame my past, 
That I think I didn’t see this coming.
I hate that when I wake up or fall asleep,
All I think about is drugs. 
I surround myself with them.
Lose myself to them.
It’s what I do with my friends, 
But it’s also what I do alone.
I let them lead me blindly,
Down a path I know I die on.
I didn’t wake up to this mess, 
I am it.",-1.6020059880239508,0.1966313592814366,0.9503323353293424,103.1214266467066,91.69461077844312,3.8190419161676648,14.936826347305384,4.935628992294339,-1.3103770059880242,555,11,149,2,20,188,95,167,0.307,0.62,0.073,-0.9926,0,1,2,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,5,2,8,13,4,1,4,0,12,5,3,3,2,26,31,10,1,4,5,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,18,6,0,0,5,1,0,5,7,10,0,1,5,3,37,3,14,23,2,17,0,1,2,0,11,8,0,1,4,103,55,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16233681536802186,0.0,0.12534603763145236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14653204658581573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350188336923581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12514525042208027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16267282261642274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817702570852768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14776183837957332,0.0,0.07925315929332012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210980136192037,0.0,0.08189091006863564,0.0,0.0,0.13146724629310375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6189987125184624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10506045367085627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17228194403411795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602786968102208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17535352905886864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10621202632658693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496273979966289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2999606948794804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249025991148353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13280647605792328,0.12066718421642615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638601391471692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20086711503991544,0.15399762560224772,0.0,0.0913971684005505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12932806686246034,0.0924501363013584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,catsandpizzarollz,2020/03/24,"I did a display with my keytags finally Being in recovery I've slowly collected my keytags and celebrated my small milestones. I had no where to put them besides my dresser and finally wanted to display them so I can look at them with pride. I bought a shadow box from Walmart for $10 and push pins for $1. I have worked so hard to stay clean and seeing them everyday displayed so nicely makes me so happy and reminds me that I can do anything if I can get clean. If anyone else is looking for what to do with them, try this out. My friend in AA tired this out but instead glued their chips since there is no way to hang them up. Hope everyone has a beautiful day!  https://imgur.com/a/vzEXj0D",6.187058823529411,6.324045352941178,6.310588235294119,80.09764705882355,66.05882352941177,9.447058823529412,33.17647058823529,9.188382445141503,2.7973264705882355,552,22,106,9,8,176,88,136,0.055,0.773,0.17300000000000001,0.9501,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,7,2,8,5,0,0,3,0,12,1,0,1,0,16,20,12,0,4,3,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,4,10,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,0,3,4,21,5,18,16,0,17,0,0,3,0,8,8,0,3,4,75,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14625360395735554,0.21431509958715889,0.17212564691304275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348946493662726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17473120216104218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998669036109559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4582618614304913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616009928625076,0.0,0.10928050740055448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22266090369485395,0.18737148942536985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20774885363784068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.351293216320707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13961980834831475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21026942003157775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16667807691326414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730241268953571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22294293260291093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404053393480301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14200986106208446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12337141931619998,0.1660260912150151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522752073484666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,t_r_y,2020/03/24,"VR peer support for substance use disorder - looking for a small group of people who are interested in attending recovery meetings in VR! Hello all! I'm a PhD student in clinical psychology and also have a startup building an application called Help Club. We've officially partnered with SMART Recovery to build a pilot of our program program and are also funded by the National Science Foundation and National Institute on Drug Abuse.

Our goal is to provide VR-based recovery meetings, primarily through the SMART recovery format (teaching cognitive behavioral skills). This allows you to log in from home using your headset and join a recovery community, learn cognitive behavioral skills to cope with cravings/negative emotions, and be a part of a larger virtual community in a safe, protected space. (See our recent coverage on the BBC for a bit more info and context: https://youtu.be/yF_zIuAiiro )

We are currently recruiting a group of 20-30 people in recovery from any substances who own headsets and would like to attend our recovery meetings. Please let us know if you're interested by filling out this form: https://forms.gle/NqwHyeFactaWTsjT7
If you're selected, you'll be contacted to learn more about the platform and see whether it might be a good fit for you. It's completely free and we're hoping to start hosting meetings as soon as possible! Feel free to respond here if you have any questions.",10.583144512391376,11.078831221757325,9.995899581589963,56.14197940135178,56.86610878661088,13.713678789829414,46.418088187962674,12.896187039172386,6.735978822014808,1158,67,159,38,13,373,146,239,0.027000000000000003,0.789,0.184,0.9889,1,0,1,0,1,0,35.0,6,5,0,3,5,11,0,0,16,0,13,2,0,3,1,31,24,17,0,5,4,0,1,1,1,3,2,0,1,1,6,13,0,2,6,1,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,11,13,35,17,7,23,0,0,3,0,26,15,0,6,6,103,17,9,0.0,0.19491173433181627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631094607834459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22373832258975596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17959704651486802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16797817821610755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17248054795265794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885371845852964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907737780622709,0.0,0.0,0.18504618202251627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08317876017892434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137979137340451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026435233748083,0.0,0.16501210518595402,0.16339075884084212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040774294521144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16821768876652912,0.0,0.08036891986967808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13814291676030113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17451399596615205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17814307547913788,0.0,0.2280943528133136,0.0,0.0,0.1805772840650116,0.0,0.18545486939877995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18428344670868324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16242901596209128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621786545832469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11643761078841185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18667852507131866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19787947261023225,0.2841593090436805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685975766029533,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Johnny-Uncle,2020/03/24,"10 years after.... From Hollywood to Hartford, 10 years, 3000 miles, 100’s of gigs, and countless detox/ rehab visits span the reach of my attempts at, and failures in, recovery. I’m proud to say it’s been these last 3 1/2 years in which I’ve actively committed to change and therefore reaped the greatest rewards. But, it wasn’t until I understood that change, true change , comes from within. Self efficacy is the foundation of becoming that individual you aspire to be. Do it for you. Stay Sober Rockers. Stay Sober!!!",4.3358392434988176,7.012529936170214,4.676950354609931,80.13388888888889,74.1063829787234,8.007565011820331,28.52955082742316,8.841846274778883,2.5997153664302597,410,17,71,9,9,129,69,94,0.03,0.778,0.193,0.9390000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,0,3,0,3,0,0,3,0,5,2,0,1,2,9,8,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,7,4,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,1,4,3,16,4,1,16,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,6,40,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231828958307328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6661704244010271,0.1808187652800564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711045593679099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16692875283393155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21898177279835274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4474719814852952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4055252200229059
addiction,RevGonzo,2020/03/25,"How're you coping with COVID? Hi all, I’m a freelance reporter who’s written in the past on drugs and drug policy. Currently I'm working on a story about the effect the pandemic -- and government's reactions to it -- is having on drug users, as well as people in recovery. I’m looking for anyone and everyone’s takes on this. I have some local sources, but I want to see the bigger picture of how it’s affecting your individual communities. Feel free to share whatever you’d like, but here’s some starter questions:

What roadblocks in recovery is this presenting? How are recovery groups bridging the gap? How’re you coping with the boredom of social isolation? What do you wish people knew about what you’re facing, and how can they help? 

I'm no stranger to addiction, and I have many friends and family members who are users. My intention isn’t to write some sort of scare piece,, so much as to highlight the public health issues that government officials might be overlooking (such as closing liquor stores and forcing alcoholics to either go through serious withdrawals, or engage in even riskier behavior.)

You can either reply here for public discussion, or if you'd prefer to DM me, we can communicate through Reddit, encrypted email, or whatever your preferred method is.  Information shared will be completely anonymous (I won't even include screen names -- pseudonyms are encouraged).

Thanks so much for any feedback you have. Stay safe and stay healthy.",7.5569819004524925,8.904891069230775,7.167013574660633,70.91916289592761,63.30769230769231,11.040723981900454,37.21719457013575,10.966923227221727,4.55525339366516,1178,57,187,32,17,370,163,260,0.065,0.769,0.166,0.9822,1,1,5,0,0,0,39.0,1,9,1,2,13,12,0,1,9,0,22,8,1,6,1,43,36,23,0,5,8,0,1,1,1,3,6,0,0,0,10,12,2,1,7,1,2,1,3,2,1,0,2,4,17,11,32,27,9,18,0,0,3,0,29,11,0,10,5,123,27,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16275274444879329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15955012574540142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152519410376673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10438999501505156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15653215691730946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5194017177788862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972148582523592,0.0,0.0,0.1426570320804198,0.0,0.0,0.14074131068375806,0.0,0.0754876471292773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11534434969727893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484734988027058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15869278234237302,0.0,0.0,0.1000687735941882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15582438547787236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293761833228947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12536955024791274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513609138603013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15837758242940153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21949687020771166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14251823298346994,0.20700363867307364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16724370220219792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14946956614905765,0.0,0.11896816999577912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521866637008095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3182555642163153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122506790587202,0.0,0.0,0.13745006621637534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08805760336116655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13423343988845368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17168099353837954,0.0,0.0,0.10868797558422776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,A_Real_Phoenix,2020/03/25,"If you can't get your usual drugs because of the epidemic and might have to go through withdrawal, please read this! Hi there! I'm really concerned that a lot of people won't be able to get their usual drugs due to the coronavirus and might die because they don't understand just how serious withdrawal can be. I've already seen a lot of posts on this subreddit dismissing or making light of withdrawal. Please, read this with an open mind.

Withdrawal isn't a joke. We all know it's really unpleasant to say the least, but a lot of the time it's very dangerous and can be completely lethal. To the best of my knowledge serious alcohol, benzo and opioid withdrawal are all able to kill people. Even if your body doesn't just shut down you could still die through other means, such as seizures. I read a comment about someone who had a seizure from withdrawal, bit their own tongue off and almost choked to death. The mental health effects of withdrawal can be equally dangerous.

*Explanation of tolerance and withdrawal ahead*

I'm studying neuroscience and while I'm no expert on this stuff I think I can explain it at least in a simple manner. This of tolerance and withdrawal this way: Your body and brain works to maintain healthy conditions for proper function. We call this homeostasis. When you constantly drink or drug your body this becomes your body's new perceived normal conditions and over time your body and brain adapts to these changes. It does its best to try and get back to homeostasis in these new conditions, and makes changed to work towards this. The thing is that these changed take time to happen, and when you suddenly stop taking drugs or drinking your body and brain can't change back instantly. Suddenly they'll be working as if they're still under the influence of drugs or alcohol, but there won't be any substances in effect. These changed that your body and brain have made are really dangerous when you're not at least somewhat drugged or drunk and quitting cold turkey or abruptly can absolutely kill people with serious alcohol or certain substance dependencies. Your body needs more time to slowly adjust back to the way things were before you started regularly taking the drug or drinking, and so you have to taper off and decrease your dose over time to get back to normal safely. It isn't safe to self medicate and it should really be done with the help of a medical professional.

*Explanation over*

If your going to run out of benzos, opioids or alcohol I'd really recommend you see a medical professional. Trust me, if you live anywhere decent it will be part of their job to not be judgemental and to help you as best they can. I imagine people in the medical industry would just be happy you made the leap to reach out and get help. You are just as deserving of medical help as anyone else, and addiction is a completely valid illness that people shouldn't try to take on by themselves ❤ If you're at risk of dangerous withdrawal, please, make the leap and get treated. It would make me and I'm sure many others very happy if you did. At the very least, it's worth a shot. Worst case if you get medical help? You go through withdrawal is a comfortable, safe, supportive and controlled setting and you are probably weaned off with clinically administered drugs, with support against the pains of withdrawal. Worst case if you go through serious withdrawal on your own? You die. 

It can be difficult, I know. But please, take the leap and accept help through these hard times. The world would be a darker place without you in it. You are a wonderful and beautiful person and you can absolutely make it through anything that life throws at you! So please, if you're going to go through serious withdrawal, don't go through it alone 🤗❤",6.366557269249164,7.798446715925393,6.088619978479197,77.27339864299381,66.05882352941177,10.399438067910092,33.17219631755141,10.504223727775694,3.66886611669058,3039,130,538,80,48,946,281,697,0.132,0.7040000000000001,0.16399999999999998,0.9452,1,1,17,0,0,0,63.0,2,33,6,11,21,33,6,1,33,0,54,41,12,13,4,119,98,64,7,19,29,0,1,0,0,11,25,1,0,2,39,40,8,5,14,8,1,9,14,16,0,0,7,6,49,17,91,67,21,70,0,0,2,0,55,29,0,28,28,361,88,9,0.08368822183314115,0.0,0.0,0.045616257321810016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17887451585233993,0.04190083271364658,0.04333787938599325,0.04617601691616879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028455430318972224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02925837527690528,0.04287423654227879,0.03443413793502363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287021536480826,0.0,0.05101556326349112,0.04621353298252165,0.035606256425605644,0.0,0.1317384384913519,0.0,0.04568293159118402,0.3718349931900118,0.0,0.18684746584495432,0.042727515697886964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22132760509312802,0.0,0.08774550835699746,0.04521861850806996,0.04693172846990461,0.033409117680587436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13028274239482845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03661806344557832,0.04282105343265707,0.0,0.1229738954365106,0.3882070722978826,0.0,0.03495538535175673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027637640619185902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15303274631344016,0.0,0.16646680772261074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03700260909122488,0.0890876683175404,0.03748410436024981,0.0,0.0,0.04447833318547365,0.0,0.0,0.168283353068248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04152382343246154,0.0,0.09258861801674323,0.0,0.04599285808341544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02955573301775028,0.0,0.0,0.03694911655898188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10672310022510452,0.0,0.07918781899506852,0.1396563448082859,0.042423360776494834,0.0,0.04558050380960614,0.0,0.25292123714823506,0.042169021963981035,0.08877997822493029,0.042250623610577964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031026878039832863,0.0,0.08082660614076599,0.0,0.0,0.08199668870453201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04452508424441032,0.0,0.0,0.045313094443804616,0.0,0.14504718922317258,0.036536663649751416,0.04371818984279702,0.22966134117859244,0.0,0.0,0.04007509147747189,0.0,0.045115028845666684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04450636265319469,0.12556630358175433,0.0,0.13403204466425778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03327611650049092,0.0,0.0,0.03334433882520335,0.0,0.04365253354747895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03545437939033788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029617477077205582,0.0,0.06683352206042971,0.03498355038151014,0.0,0.0,0.047901495883647865,0.0,0.09496840238595107,0.039437579334156106,0.0,0.15730781922702186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05559873593968778,0.02681201668419289,0.0,0.0,0.14639782546127095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05681880918554528,0.0,0.0,0.043561195175980685,0.0,0.0,0.09217075296628112,0.10357732132793304,0.0,0.06642781512506192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040336229712993804,0.04537815333875378,0.09138903332465736,0.0,0.0,0.08917456748681549,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,youngdumbandsober,2020/03/25,Dumb Quick Sober Tip | Episode #9 | Online Recovery Meetings & Zoom Zoom meetings have been a lifesaver for me during this quarantine. [I made a video about all of the online meeting resources I've found.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYHV-FOT9Og&feature=share) Who else has been trying these out? #InTheZooms (didn't create that clever tag btw).,5.7276694915254245,9.486957932203392,3.286249999999999,84.63751059322036,79.84745762711864,5.661864406779661,27.71398305084745,7.1686216300943375,1.924710169491525,294,12,43,4,8,80,51,59,0.145,0.785,0.069,-0.486,0,1,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,3,0,5,0,0,1,1,3,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,2,1,4,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,1,20,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7684480034379855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962344020808428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3888158269459092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3355442369756511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407595538805811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,matamor,2020/03/25,"Finally quiting I started to smoke weed a few years ago, never really thought much about it, now with the Coronavirus around i ran out of weed like 3 days ago, yesterday i decided i had enough, i needed to get some, didn't manage to get it but instead got a 600-3000€ fine, not sure how much though, i realized i was trutly addicted to it, i decided to throw all the stuff related to weed away and to never smoke ever again, i'm really trying to make the best out of this situation, i took the last 600€ i had in my account (i'm a student) and put that away to pay the fine, i'm praying is not more than that, i don't know what i will do if it's that much, i decided to put my future in danger for an addiction, if i have to quit my studies to pay for it i don't know if i will ever be able to come back. I really fucked up but i don't want to get more depressed, i'm trying to think those 600€ were the price to drop this addiction, because to be honest i have spent many many times that much in weed, so it's a little price to pay for it. Just wanted to tell this to someone, haven't talked about it with my family or friends, i don't have the face to talk about after they warned me so much, they even called me when i was going out yesterday, where you going ? i ignored everything, damn i'm so dumb i kinda want to die, but that won't fix it, i guess it's time i really take responsability for my actions.",4.4193751205400185,3.621141518032793,6.070009643201544,83.49880424300869,69.88524590163935,9.799421407907426,27.44937319189971,9.325443323948027,1.8928958534233369,1093,29,255,20,17,379,147,305,0.156,0.7659999999999999,0.078,-0.9712,0,0,2,0,0,1,31.0,0,1,2,3,19,13,4,0,12,0,21,5,1,2,6,43,49,15,1,7,10,0,0,1,1,3,3,0,0,0,21,9,0,1,8,0,7,9,11,6,0,0,11,0,35,7,45,33,12,43,1,1,0,1,8,12,3,7,22,174,56,5,0.10111685567199974,0.0,0.0,0.3306968942728559,0.0,0.0,0.1792679830225484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09001543956640504,0.0,0.0,0.1900052289343768,0.07775262044076006,0.0,0.06163989668492857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611590161352463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032516151833304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08710321766313807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06521200671968416,0.0,0.08709179962231332,0.0,0.10494333189486946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044807421484958,0.0,0.0667867295155774,0.1829319700091256,0.0,0.0,0.090877309825501,0.0,0.09532397235786416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107685728358179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07812263186098135,0.09348090369345892,0.1584881509329291,0.0,0.1149340786345017,0.0,0.08087238668145763,0.0,0.11139161653781676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11114235888620096,0.0824237332596265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04940058807167248,0.10134565373447567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749628634631219,0.20503324146668603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37166261786725385,0.07497686723376187,0.15597510550133173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20330073722659814,0.0,0.2151004454539192,0.0,0.0,0.25911218795420465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136595824055019,0.0,0.0,0.08567598367428612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157103089024135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11575460774867585,0.0,0.0,0.09530143980202728,0.0,0.07602729131738686,0.1625477967014728,0.08838058876315227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06479159819493614,0.09934679729942167,0.08027548854118473,0.11792410340511207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11234454722322057,0.13730341503311708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17892402396821572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06511593980642941
addiction,nevergonnauseum,2020/03/25,"Tramadol usage 1000mg daily for 1 month My partner was taking 20 pills a day for about a month. When I found out he decided to stop suddenly and man was that a bad idea. After 4 days with no tramadol his therapist told him to start taking again as it's dangerous to quit food turkey. We decided he should start on 10 tablets a day but he tapered down to 4 within a week and that's when the memory loss started. He woke up from a nap last Sunday 22/03/2020, and he couldn't remember the morning, he was acting drunk like, slurring his words. I thought he'd taken something, was so mad at him, begged him to just be honest but he was adamant he'd not done anything. The next morning, he couldn't remember the day before, we went to the doctor's and he said the amount he reduced to so quickly was life threatening and to go back to 6 a day for at least 2 weeks then drop a pill every 2 weeks.

Its been 4 days and he's still so confused, all day he asks me questions and asks why he's confused it's so scary. His blood test results will come back Friday hopefully, but just wanted to ask if anyone knows about memory loss/brain damage due to tramadol abuse? Can he get his brain function back? Can he have a seizure now or go into a coma? 

I feel like he's awake and that but he's like a person with brain damage and I'm worried as fuck. What can I do to help? I've stopped him drinking alcohol, he doesn't drink a lot but just thought it wouldn't be the best right now anyway.

TLDR; took 1000mg a day, stopped suddenly, started again as scared of the repercussions of that, now got memory loss.",3.6932091728525975,4.586226070121953,4.4699098621420985,88.41570519618244,71.83536585365853,7.533616118769884,26.76086956521739,7.7425588080867325,1.3437466595970309,1253,41,268,15,23,403,175,328,0.21899999999999997,0.721,0.06,-0.9955,0,0,4,0,1,0,32.0,2,0,0,4,22,17,3,3,21,0,23,14,3,1,1,53,52,26,0,7,11,0,1,3,1,3,6,1,0,3,9,16,5,3,11,4,0,6,6,11,0,0,18,2,18,6,34,25,5,56,0,4,0,1,40,9,1,7,43,146,27,2,0.0,0.10579156483641618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09542161434487034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0624321779707296,0.0,0.07347633651841777,0.0,0.2504164095577571,0.0,0.0,0.20597065846259727,0.07455166962111708,0.0,0.0,0.07597742926585276,0.0,0.0937021457917404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29902448779050605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07691362252310008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4606664877257949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09138995238658963,0.0,0.09137252508043366,0.0,0.1749363057696572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07522890940907966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045146646663668764,0.06378729589291425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10796728697845803,0.09789957724711272,0.0,0.08254522775040662,0.0466492442042822,0.0,0.10148874606816548,0.0,0.07141169280124299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05984779941261807,0.0,0.0,0.08868303448655232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10079517456177324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04907029652314344,0.07278155821284284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306668659336193,0.13086467820482434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07590938234246447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14253750496991469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09495869801170717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796275308692535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10002288609043253,0.094968675727779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20229157739808845,0.0762513814794777,0.08493324267564129,0.0,0.08939276751263572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06873819010238473,0.0,0.0,0.25279374981394176,0.0,0.07130543484041282,0.2239460553905483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13426678239267675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367013748992432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417692431843898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531841786501354,0.09920214579296953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0526643186823372,0.0,0.2148641105723431,0.0,0.0,0.0827707808117563,0.08056844480098065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09067619984647098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Thefoilhatman,2020/03/25,"Quitting cold turkey. Hey guys, so I’ve kinda had a minor relapse from my sobriety in the form of kratom. I know it’s a mild drug if you compare to pretty much everything that’s out there but it’s a relapse anyway, why I think that is because it was the same mechanism as when I did weed, speed and pills, although milder. 

I couldn’t stop myself from being on it 24/7 and I got irritated and anxious when I didn’t get it. I’ve been on this for 3-4 months but it got to a 24/7- point about 2 months ago and I realized my addiction about 3 weeks ago. So yesterday I decided enough was enough and quit cold turkey. 

Have been of for about 48 hours now and I gotta say I’m surprised of how easy it’s been to get through it. My RLS have been off the roof so I’ve had a hard time falling asleep and my anxiety is a bit worse but other than that I’m okay. I can eat and work pretty easily and I know I’m getting through this. 

But it sucks because It feels like I’ve ruined one years work and that I’m back on square one. Therefore I’m asking for some encouragement from you guys, to be honest I feel worthless and it feels like I’m never gonna get away from this. Like my life will be an endless struggle of relapses and quitting, relapses and quitting. Etc, etc. 

Sorry for the long post guys, just needed to get this off my chest. 

Have a wonderful day y’all.",1.7795804195804161,3.4464678951048966,3.2709006993007006,91.98773566433569,78.0909090909091,6.534041958041958,22.62881118881119,7.404127859558343,0.7035372307692307,1062,32,239,14,25,349,149,286,0.11800000000000001,0.743,0.14,0.8596,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,3,0,6,14,11,1,1,12,1,21,7,2,2,1,38,46,26,0,3,6,0,4,3,0,3,4,1,0,3,20,14,1,1,9,0,0,1,3,4,0,2,12,8,22,7,32,27,9,29,0,2,1,0,10,9,1,4,21,148,42,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125618369232728,0.0,0.0,0.18305645278209465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898884216514032,0.1166473563979422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09652832539104124,0.0,0.09701030444014637,0.07939576634053988,0.0,0.12588506488164775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11272636112312788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06659013186646942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974157824967732,0.10565437164671283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133774667319001,0.23031046788319945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09279781974756286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156624607246989,0.14752901053025552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26972913426976386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16516292518410794,0.0,0.0,0.3067123615207076,0.0,0.0,0.0924950859612952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016841526324668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134911300306392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293118277156785,0.1513337116635999,0.0,0.0,0.0913763265231998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16483232889324295,0.0,0.0759033925761625,0.07656135314915755,0.07963566347426201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13993483714417804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09760817576662982,0.0,0.09888855808027174,0.21009238433300048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4392923250739114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211153257365619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11558412844416918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08632476499026362,0.0,0.10794324653724137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06616083884960068,0.0,0.0,0.06020809656829115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828239364058134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09317045639781188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11197429591738796,0.1503399309752556,0.0,0.10522440050157343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06649203477141856
addiction,frequentthinker4,2020/03/25,"I'm seriously hooked on weed and can't afford any for the first time in 2 years The ease and low profile of dab pens has been a major problem for me. The ability to just keep hitting it made it a lot easier to become addicted, especially for me as I had never smoked it any other way prior to when I started. I get high at every possible opportunity, which is, more often than not, all day. I've come off for a maximum of 5 days in the last 2 years, and that was how far I made it before I couldn't eat or sleep for 2 of those days straight. In light of recent events, I can't afford my next cartridge for a couple of weeks at least, so I'll be forced to stop cold turkey tomorrow since I finished what I had left tonight. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and maybe has some solid tips to cope, particularly when we're all stuck indoors and isolated.. I'm sorta terrified where my head will be at on top of the lack of sleep and food. Sorry for the length of this, I'm new to this subreddit but let me know if you can help in the comments; thanks in advance.",8.899166666666666,5.080718302631581,9.454035087719301,72.40324561403509,63.342105263157904,12.940350877192982,36.73684210526316,10.746095033038511,3.5300315789473684,855,26,186,16,9,293,144,228,0.07,0.843,0.087,0.6823,2,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,4,8,5,0,0,12,0,17,6,3,3,3,32,33,15,0,5,7,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,11,7,2,2,2,0,0,2,5,3,0,1,8,2,15,2,34,19,8,43,0,1,0,0,3,18,0,9,22,117,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577761294285023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19684156134411016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10119798237698843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15984196839648526,0.1231538414613601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124671342080877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16014004468285287,0.0,0.2800149735790125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480940456487192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194054566203588,0.0,0.0,0.14157287385838296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12310653567409476,0.17500705501672192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561500409449212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594354686647257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485338557683734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700889424519436,0.15291428647284747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286419127998196,0.0,0.0,0.07953935236907504,0.11797356883570775,0.0,0.0,0.1572486380734422,0.1479953551060423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12304354238838712,0.0,0.2738924302970631,0.0,0.0,0.14539987773950308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11162403786999686,0.1397803088246222,0.15392108621352024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16316036353888044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13848624439811713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429025691239778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197214432367466,0.0,0.2896673306611518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16201242719340686,0.10244003280919474,0.0,0.0,0.1210000446534368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13324715052122638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08439272755718874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148792576612084,0.11609298912782623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15695258258240535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18640164678923726
addiction,Japankiss24,2020/03/25,"Xanax, adderall and mixing w hydroxyzine Is it okay to mix all of these? I took .50 mg of xan and a few bumps of adderall throughout the day. I can’t sleep so can I take my hydroxyzine",0.8357692307692304,2.8748222564102583,2.433012820512822,94.98490384615386,82.84615384615384,5.951282051282053,22.57051282051281,7.1686216300943375,0.6434051282051287,144,5,33,2,4,47,32,39,0.0,0.9440000000000001,0.055999999999999994,0.2263,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,3,2,1,0,1,3,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,4,4,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,20,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3595612569196159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5579334642528567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4191937926980239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6194372576400602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,DaddyLongBallz,2020/03/25,Tonight has to be my last night. Sacrificing everything for coke. I have a 3 year old girl. What a piece of shit. Has to be the last time. I know it’s wrong.,-2.516428571428573,-1.312824323529412,-0.16042016806722434,104.86382352941177,115.76470588235294,4.295798319327732,13.680672268907564,6.1826913282559595,-0.8578857142857141,119,3,32,2,7,39,28,34,0.205,0.795,0.0,-0.7717,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,3,0,5,2,1,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,4,4,1,7,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,7,18,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3037749469788631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857573922610079,0.5510344716149825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3171925480128676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3546768759512688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34695481696290664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19709203721040286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3695527881983096,0.0,0.21766259586863695
addiction,reneethefool,2020/03/25,I need my fucking drugs am just cryin',0.2325000000000017,2.5502272500000025,0.8049999999999997,103.54,89.0,3.2,20.5,3.1291,-0.7774000000000001,30,1,7,0,1,9,8,8,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6993991277747128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5575519264497198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4471875550372316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,NihilisticBuddhism,2020/03/25,"What movies/books/entertainment do you recommend for people who are a recovering addict? So since the Coronavirus/Covid-19, some people in recovery are struggling with the isolation/social distancing/lockdown.
What movies, books, or other, helps you curb your anxiety at times like these??",10.875999999999998,13.193925933333333,8.615555555555558,60.01000000000002,56.33333333333334,13.111111111111116,39.444444444444436,12.45797560212912,6.063444444444446,237,11,30,8,3,70,38,45,0.096,0.7290000000000001,0.175,0.5632,0,2,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,1,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,4,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,4,3,1,3,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,2,2,21,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4275482590281672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3000265709360858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2628787003142681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916056889931143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.543794487932671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3244261017786361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4100052770310096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.228690891787058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,hydrastxrk,2020/03/25,"When is enough enough? Hey all,  I don't have addiction but my fiancée does.

We discovered it back in November 2018 and have been working through it. He's fucked up and we've had our troubles but we've such through it and he's made miraculous work considering how recent a development it's been and the situation we're in regardless of that.

He's trying so hard... And I can tell. I really am proud of him. But I'm so tired and I'm stressed and scared all the time and I feel like a monster restricting him from things and getting mad or triggered by things even if I know he didn't mean them any sort of way. And I see the progress he's made... And that's what makes things so hard.

He's doing so well and I don't want to bash him for trying but I feel like I'm bending over backwards every time I forgive him for something. I don't know what to do. I've never been in this situation before and I love him but I feel like if this keeps happening I'll lose that. My hurt and tears are starting to turn into anger and annoyance and I don't think that's healthy. I want him to keep improving and I want our relationship to last. But I'm so tired and I can't punish him when he's made legitimate progress. I feel so lost and alone and I'm going insane.",0.3867218502738865,2.6377139509433967,2.215569080949482,94.40367011564213,86.84905660377359,5.8344491783323225,20.623858794887408,7.233258080335977,0.48768654899574,987,32,227,16,31,325,127,265,0.24,0.625,0.136,-0.9839,0,1,1,0,0,0,22.0,3,0,1,7,13,18,5,2,5,0,18,5,0,6,3,57,49,38,0,6,9,0,6,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,15,22,0,3,9,0,0,1,7,11,1,0,9,7,30,7,20,40,4,19,0,3,1,2,23,8,1,4,12,135,45,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12237275432809805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11626064869349224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633614829814214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631592087205134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551935923578334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982336900281818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319754992389966,0.0,0.07414229935262259,0.0,0.09457831479949362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270347287412689,0.24058151308679046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10377644175221287,0.0586477583972333,0.0,0.06379618320694631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09926529394716767,0.0,0.20111396082871927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12016956586019553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19955192522938256,0.0,0.0,0.1233830448513778,0.09150148763715983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16452399521156005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12558281984810402,0.12253782550136386,0.0,0.10131305886538874,0.31865058934903795,0.07493000336708203,0.0,0.0,0.12227683993217504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657672749898128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719123901730089,0.0,0.11083667122273497,0.12051812135842377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11238521697335133,0.0,0.08945141102881615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523550065746903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864181367683915,0.0,0.0,0.07945352071780057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12858586847835932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811440261512283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22372847489771575,0.07192743384422431,0.0,0.0,0.13091169816171605,0.2580374962537302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15242535415884312,0.12209944397535405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19862985719839946,0.08910150873957068,0.0,0.0,0.10092927045696312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16344359635387565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Lil_KSA,2020/03/25,"I don’t know what to do I’m a sex addict. I really need my daily meeting or I go crazy. I’ve been trying to get started again but the online meetings just aren’t cutting it.


Idk how I’m gonna make it without my meetings for the next few weeks",-0.4901212121212133,1.390611654545456,2.3595454545454544,94.47265151515153,87.0,4.393939393939394,20.075757575757574,5.46131890053228,-0.1916060606060612,191,6,44,1,6,67,42,55,0.107,0.893,0.0,-0.4678,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,3,0,4,2,0,2,0,8,13,3,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,5,0,4,11,1,5,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,4,25,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4074690307933512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19528158374413776,0.0,0.21242448192310376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20541651602909086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24949716966791416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771488207426783,0.0,0.0,0.39751308417351067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394493127715864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26455929065059913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2537681351884728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2998191040252055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3603049744099305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,p3136,2020/03/26,"Broke today Throwaway obv, 6 months clean gone. I dont want to be this person. It wasnt the quarantine, it wasnt the isolation, it just happened because I let it. I've made a good life and my friends and family don't deserve this. I hate who I am. It slips in at the most insidious times. I feel like I'll never be free of this, I dont know what to do anymore.",0.08193037974683293,1.8941369873417744,2.6004905063291157,94.00681170886078,84.18987341772151,5.975316455696203,21.26740506329114,7.1686216300943375,0.4601506329113922,278,9,67,4,8,96,54,79,0.14,0.691,0.16899999999999998,0.3311,0,2,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,4,0,10,1,0,1,1,9,17,2,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,1,1,10,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,6,2,0,0,4,1,7,5,5,10,1,7,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,1,5,41,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329611235479659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14319497609451493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5506102388844236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22144608730916432,0.0,0.1187742533854522,0.16781508716692226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814858395846252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19702588719918532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077243643037269,0.0,0.0,0.2319185461548322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12909680482713148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24020471507981603,0.16591926903064813,0.1147619708731236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22227134471512325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874977100552946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811720387670903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20510865089844574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13697410343154354,0.0,0.22266102469395413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13855215378780045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,burntapplejuice,2020/03/26,"Very grateful to be on suboxone I'm a recovery heroin and fentanyl addict with about 5 months of sobriety. While on lockdown, all I've been wanting to do is get high. The boredom is killing me. I'm in an outpatient rehab program and that took up my whole schedule. I was doing 9 groups a week, plus my weekly doctors appointment and counseling session. I loved it. Now it's gone for now. Not even random UAs anymore. I'm glad I'm on suboxone because all I've been wanting to do is get high, but I couldn't even if I tried. And I'm very grateful for that. 
If anyone is in a simulator situation please let me know what you're doing to keep yourself busy and keep your mind off of getting loaded. 
Stay safe everyone!",2.5886698717948704,4.598370826388892,4.299444444444443,83.9669230769231,76.8472222222222,7.20854700854701,29.13247863247864,8.139509932561175,2.164700427350428,565,26,110,10,13,190,94,144,0.046,0.825,0.129,0.9132,0,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,0,5,4,1,0,5,0,14,4,0,0,2,22,30,10,1,5,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,7,0,3,1,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,5,0,9,3,18,22,3,19,0,0,0,1,3,9,0,3,7,68,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18401123494212526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16739907407101345,0.11802524106968673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10289573661378404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17276861888161965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22297473224711492,0.0,0.0,0.161290654330905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26456493134888226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3566819238890451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3000651280438336,0.18674642488369764,0.0,0.09276520161158383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17260410784194075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15234388716626154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704346187985086,0.0,0.1347303900997421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18528599008289146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18973241494236226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17991278610073616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18753722122804564,0.1146005816787415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27854675691740904,0.19911907962486272,0.0,0.2707939962136618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884533537918022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ninja-slash-nerd,2020/03/26,Can anyone recommend an impactful video about drug abuse for a my class? I would be very grateful. for a psych class I’m supposed to share an “impactful” video about drugs or the consequences of drug abuse. does anyone know a good youtube video I can share with my class?,4.893235294117648,6.781523372549017,3.958970588235297,89.38786764705885,70.17647058823529,8.237254901960785,26.47549019607843,8.841846274778883,1.7975843137254897,216,7,43,4,4,63,33,51,0.14,0.635,0.225,0.4684,0,0,3,0,2,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,6,0,4,3,0,0,0,4,6,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,7,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,22,4,4,0.0,0.4981168977981023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2939603253023623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839517358795615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7313128901810579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17630990788855935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552312283090173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734410676336036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14932353909510745,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,howtobeafuckup,2020/03/26,"Everything Is My Fault Hey everyone,

I'm new here. I'm an addict. There's a lot of meth where I'm at, and I haven't done any. I'm literally getting sober in a trap house because I fucked up my relationship with my fiance's mom, so it's the only place I have to go right now. Here's what happened, and I don't know if this is a place for me to vent or what, but I'm fighting so hard right now, so please allow this post to go through. I'm really struggling. I relapsed about 2 weeks ago. I was on a bunch of klonopin and did a shot of meth after being sober for 6 months. I took a pistol and shot all over the house, and ended up breaking my shoulder running from the cops. I was so fucked up that I called the cops on myself to ask for a ride to the gas station so that I could fucking rob it at gunpoint. I threw a fucking syringe at my fiance who does NOT use and has her bachelors in social work. So I have prior felonies, and I've already been to prison once, for selling narcotics to a CI. I immediately get searched when the cop arrives to give me a ride. I'm also pretty sure I shot a cow in the head with the fucking glock while walking down the dirt road. The cop finds dope and a pistol on me. SO in my state that is a class Y felony. Minimum 20 years, which on that I would do 1/6 of it, so it'd be about 3 and a half years before I'd be eligible for parole. I'm 23 also, just so you know. Anyhow, now I'm out on bond, and I have my first court date for simultaneous possession of a controlled substance and a firearm, possession of a controlled substance, and possession of a firearm by certain persons. ONE FUCKING RELAPSE, and literally everything is my fault. My shoulder is broken, and so now my fiance gives me her pain meds that she's prescribed even if I don't ask for them, BOOM - now she's in withdrawal, and my dirty ass is to blame. I literally have to live in a trap house up the road because it's the only place I have to go. No electricity, barely have running water, blah blah blah. Where as before I was living in my fiance's moms house and we were all contributing and I was sober, and things were great. I straight up burnt that shit. It's a miracle I didn't shoot someone in the head. I know I'm bitching and complaining, but my fiance snuck me in through her window, so I'm finally back in the house for a couple hours. Then my fiance is so loyal and amazing that she goes with me to the trap house and sits with me  to make sure I stay sober, because the house is run by a family member, and all I have to do is ask for a fucking bump like it's a piece of gum. I come from a good family, I come from money, I have seen beautiful lovely parts of life, and I'm stuck in a fucking shithole now. I did some gabapentin earlier. That's it. I'm just sitting on the couch when I'm up there watching this fucking dude speed his balls off and take cars apart and shit. I want to stay sober so bad. I just did 7 days in a mental hospital so I have about 10 days sober right now. I know this all seems like a lot, and like I said please let this post go through. I needed to get this shit off my chest.",3.1939452008740967,3.7562475506807855,4.4914654563792284,89.02350848882168,72.73676248108927,7.5094436039670525,26.18661959993276,7.554174236665415,1.1170185308455194,2425,76,555,27,45,804,270,661,0.158,0.7290000000000001,0.113,-0.9848,0,0,2,6,2,0,69.0,1,1,1,4,39,31,14,1,46,0,43,23,9,5,7,69,97,52,0,6,9,2,1,6,0,1,3,2,2,1,27,34,1,2,6,1,2,15,6,20,0,3,17,5,69,11,83,73,10,95,0,0,2,11,27,44,14,8,31,351,96,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06389877691315865,0.0,0.0,0.05195847792893821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0646828823077025,0.0937484585602863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03986006964781366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643907588546377,0.0,0.0,0.045071158217696916,0.048940904330269104,0.1071931024418249,0.0,0.09975374437238983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059852257811764516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009829091884279,0.0,0.0,0.1314829503214657,0.04679914317557637,0.06485615426819011,0.0,0.0756033856066824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05129420089407842,0.059983284493871976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051915309353926485,0.0,0.0,0.03871451837604063,0.0,0.0,0.056008947184716114,0.10535839400202672,0.0,0.11051362168183317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06420964134109677,0.05357285947121188,0.04985771350890883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4876958897507725,0.0918714312885536,0.1124573021543516,0.13324855196842306,0.0491633079275391,0.0,0.06462301689330617,0.0,0.0,0.05183286841892045,0.0,0.052507341963804084,0.0,0.12031137724284928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057723764663635976,0.4734352144441423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12885263065479902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0599375977491582,0.0414013621784604,0.08590868224391343,0.0,0.1035158732766898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09966440289997376,0.05290213971544757,0.0,0.03912582989198962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06510782195132657,0.0,0.0590699256213244,0.0,0.0,0.13729787573158314,0.046785769048906016,0.0,0.0,0.04346212676310801,0.0,0.05661053292909227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06242284222427731,0.03971890111899143,0.08915838366196019,0.06237027306080355,0.0,0.0,0.06347410951939693,0.0,0.0,0.051180176910093376,0.18371995142681466,0.12868288340289816,0.0,0.0,0.11227353932296667,0.05963231750916976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03755013770987773,0.0,0.0,0.06293035237261699,0.0,0.1501701404544099,0.05575609138431265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053360706693013696,0.0,0.0,0.1805017299979439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05975040055951589,0.049664124421152686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495114210272565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061276908926662925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11048749861656756,0.0,0.044071030100389263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03894106436002056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06512319242862293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050624362060334466,0.0,0.0,0.034572523933400934,0.0,0.047017251851284296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04267226785342787,0.0,0.0,0.041638267646324716,0.0,0.0,0.07549201065823061
addiction,Shummers561,2020/03/26,"If you relapse you haven't failed. I know this lockdown/quarantine will be hard for those recovering from addiction. Unfortunately, many will relapse. Just know that relapsing doesn't mean you have failed. You are recovering and all you can do is keep going. Don't be too hard on yourself ❤",3.8706289308176096,6.9207300566037775,4.330471698113207,79.74841194968555,78.62264150943396,8.061635220125785,27.701257861635213,8.841846274778883,2.648348427672957,235,10,42,6,6,74,38,53,0.099,0.7979999999999999,0.10300000000000001,0.2969,0,2,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,5,0,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,12,1,0,0,1,8,17,2,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,2,6,0,3,13,1,2,0,2,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,29,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3647247772775445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19014076163494775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5994082994487054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2973763722333753,0.0,0.0,0.3677358885997665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33919597351916303,0.0,0.3644389100770977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,TheTripReports,2020/03/26,"I'll always choose drugs Darling I don't know how to word myself, what goes on in my mind, what compelled me to start any of this.


It started with ""hey we're doing pills"" and next thing I know it's 3am and I'm 
walking through town with extreme paranoia


I'd like to think it's boredom that made me try my first high but fuck I know it was a way to harm myself, like when I got so fucked I really really tried to die


It seemed innocent at first, maybe I was tired, but then I looked in the mirror, I truly did fall apart


I remember my friend finding me and having to yank away the knife, I remember bashing my head against the wall in the hospital, and taking off the bandages


I remember convincing him to get us Charlie, having a seizure on weed, when I had a panic attack from ritalin so bad I clawed up my face and stopped talking


I think it's mostly guilt making me hate myself in this way, for letting things get so bad and for my mind being against me


When you left me all I could think was how life was over again, I'm so fucking tired of being left to rot as I try my best to rebuild myself for the 1000th time


That's when I heard of DPH, shit I wish I never learnt, in a way it's perfect, I can finally make myself be mad


I guess that's my end goal here, I don't think I have enough of a reason to be as messed up as this, maybe drug-induced insanity will get me the help I need


I still don't know how I hid the box so well but now we're in lockdown, and I can't go buy some more


I'm almost out of codeine, my weed is running low, and I'm trying so hard to hide from you the start of poly-addiction


That's why I smoked when we were on Lucy, but you smoked too much, I was supposed to be the one that got bad


I don't want to drag you into my slippery slope but your head's screwed on so I don't think you will


I guess that makes me sadder, you'll always be doing well while I'll be doing all I can to find something to get high


As you're working from home now I can only get away with so much, we're together again but shit I don't want you to see me getting worse


I wish I could say to everyone telling me to get off of drugs that I will and mean it, but it's impossible to when I know I'll take every opportunity I get


Will you still love me when I get worse? Will you give up? You gave up last time from my anxiety, shit I know you won't stick around


And I'm sorry


But I'm getting worse and I can't get help anymore, I wish I could but i'll always pick drugs


I just saw you smile and I know you couldn't love an addict. Sorry my love, but I'll be leaving soon, it's the only way I can protect you


I wish I wasn't always trying to get high",0.7834811951251481,2.2628310170357797,2.6629258943781937,96.07670046520771,80.39693356047702,5.6738173240728615,19.976706853623377,6.395487648340406,-0.1190854147556024,2065,51,506,17,52,689,237,587,0.205,0.652,0.142,-0.9929,0,1,7,0,0,0,37.0,2,15,0,7,31,30,10,2,17,0,48,22,6,10,4,84,114,46,1,11,11,0,1,2,1,7,9,2,1,0,24,19,0,2,21,0,1,4,12,18,2,3,15,6,96,12,67,79,9,69,0,1,3,7,31,32,7,6,31,318,120,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152339808499195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055812684697376255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855110293852693,0.0,0.0,0.03790315985304295,0.0,0.0426387520543488,0.0,0.05527625615845959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049617862848137705,0.0,0.06340903209160989,0.10473373718005416,0.0,0.13961452676120095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05849267945175263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335046893125494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057846341403964815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585495027214177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049366553712732485,0.057591354984956225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04696093612786946,0.05325921648155918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06105730173985378,0.10188545450438408,0.094819948973122,0.0,0.0,0.043062368541278616,0.15458423623961612,0.3494442008581788,0.05346813412344525,0.031676695563191665,0.0,0.08915614943149645,0.0,0.1228014655803224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04992952078350468,0.05502887679245129,0.11440475152369925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471884698810452,0.17666801475513996,0.05590888613229211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144216837954825,0.045433200259946974,0.0,0.059017573090171464,0.12111711012394515,0.05699499194975291,0.039368783412800284,0.05446069286256966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046805151624668855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15091480842251398,0.052739820275758215,0.11161490167093002,0.0,0.11199087775856413,0.06071407470249548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11255722529240796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08194640780713215,0.04132837581094535,0.042987910905993285,0.0,0.059277070306368286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037768921921161616,0.08478119827780005,0.0,0.06539551307035019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141326569153841,0.05730705286574968,0.0,0.0,0.18941790968428607,0.0,0.0,0.04432440307063832,0.0,0.0,0.04441527646985019,0.05074099000646312,0.0,0.0,0.17164008960125154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04290916590841656,0.0,0.12478630801665147,0.1183530829283595,0.0,0.08902348837470805,0.0465987366022463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381477069872331,0.04479939398091167,0.04871670852035017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740585453225093,0.17857051237173552,0.0,0.0,0.06500153770762881,0.12812326383543954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18920926366938284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06704490491540739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06575040699873562,0.17696615845551875,0.0,0.0,0.1002287476449577,0.0,0.05029409066196,0.0,0.25637979613862194,0.0,0.0,0.0405772946216881,0.0,0.17040269233244232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Techgamingstudio,2020/03/26,"Think marijuana isn't addictive? Former users disagree  

In the basement of the Mustard Seed, a red brick building in Chicago's Old Town neighborhood that hosts dozens of Alcoholics Anonymous meetings each week, a handful of people gathered on a recent night to discuss a different addiction.

 

They were members of Marijuana Anonymous, a rapidly expanding 12-step organization that serves those struggling with a drug that is now legal in Illinois and 10 other states, and that many people view as innocuous.

That perception, some meeting attendees said, even extends to fellow drug users.

""When you're in rehab for weed, you don't say you're in rehab for weed,"" said Robb, a 30-year-old who lives in Chicago. ""Half the people will laugh you out of the room.""

But treatment specialists say marijuana's addictive potential is well-established. About 1 in 10 people who use the drug end up with the condition known as cannabis use disorder, meaning they continue to use compulsively even when it messes up their lives.

""It's a lot like the other addictions,"" said Michael Mahoney of Hazelden Betty Ford, a treatment center on Chicago's Near North Side. ""People want to stop using and can't. They have to use in greater quantities to get the same effect or just have a feeling of normalcy. Along the way, problems emerge.""

The Chicago Tribune spoke with people in recovery from marijuana addiction about those problems, the complexities of treatment and the reluctance of others to recognize the seriousness of the habit (as is customary for participants in 12-step programs, they asked to be identified only by their first names or no name at all).  
""Everyone I've told has been dumbfounded that it became an addiction,"" said Shelby, a 36-year-old woman from Chicago. ""It's hard for them to grasp that marijuana is addictive, and also that I used every day for the most part and no one knew. That's how secretive you can be, how good you can get at functioning on weed.""  
Shelby said she started smoking marijuana at 14 — the odds of developing cannabis use disorder are 1 in 6 for people who first indulge when they're younger than 18 — but it didn't really become an obsession until she moved to California as an adult.  
There, she said, the state's liberal medical marijuana law allowed her to buy the drug with little hassle (California has since legalized recreational sales), and THC-infused vape pens let her use discreetly anytime she wanted.

Read the full story on[Mj Today](https://www.mjtoday.org/2020/03/think-marijuana-isnt-addictive.html)",10.687353673723537,10.380594974885843,9.497376504773767,62.43138231631383,57.01369863013698,13.169115815691152,43.425072644250726,12.324508414480073,5.7150557077625574,2061,103,309,57,22,643,241,438,0.061,0.909,0.03,-0.8606,2,0,5,0,0,0,80.0,0,4,7,3,13,9,0,2,33,0,21,16,1,12,1,53,47,22,0,4,5,0,3,1,1,1,15,9,1,2,22,14,1,1,10,1,2,1,6,6,0,5,12,14,18,3,65,31,9,49,0,0,2,0,41,28,0,5,18,197,40,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.484782407074027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06789184966239653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050803122415786536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0593898749509971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07016141385299564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040970146208369515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637298238211742,0.14561662115674395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946881065169035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05626673455467855,0.0,0.0,0.08391896556086492,0.0,0.053524873194957086,0.06070349195927655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032121541530133496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080733512492037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06638125955268552,0.0,0.0,0.05328406651937916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05690839001473943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0649614332336038,0.0,0.03103645199534904,0.06367149946684493,0.11219234241960123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0540090252019198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06440717210693082,0.0,0.06920034857805242,0.0,0.0639975293185238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067519949421664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05961649422054175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19998507585793765,0.0,0.04304805064012948,0.04831572005698046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879436751641703,0.0,0.30829502313120233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215749631168462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06354494613026257,0.0,0.04069750632919068,0.0,0.06272599363950393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3625766541048544,0.101039640578635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052550815097419726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04496527169392895,0.0,0.0,0.053112047444902506,0.0,0.06641300248068319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141204004136864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060216883272153236,0.06070349195927655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4389406635533557,0.0,0.0,0.07494063124170959,0.0504253746419091,0.050958132819189206,0.0,0.05711908077788465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08181958226902795
addiction,ojw1993,2020/03/26,"How are you coping with addiction during lockdown? Hi guys, just wanted to ask how you're all coping with addiction during lockdown? 

Are you finding it hard or is it helping you to overcome?",4.992761904761903,7.3664920857142855,5.48,76.55333333333336,71.0,6.9523809523809526,31.666666666666664,7.793537801064563,2.6265238095238104,153,7,23,2,3,49,23,35,0.039,0.885,0.076,0.327,0,2,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,1,9,5,3,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,4,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,1,0,17,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7250324406396736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108787545677356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30393430775089125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3292655517566732,0.0,0.0,0.29788931912779065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228936519520275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19613991548361964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,510gemini,2020/03/26,"Drinking buddy? I'm wondering how many of you stay in touch with your drink buddy/buddies after you become sober? I feel its a difficult area to navigate through since you can share so much with a drinking buddy and feel a real bond, but when becoming sober you realize that so much of the time you spent together revolved around drinking. Curious how many of you who are now sober still communicate with their drinking buddy.",7.20269230769231,8.30960875641026,6.832461538461541,73.86253846153849,64.0,10.342564102564104,34.83076923076923,10.355215969177356,3.822550769230769,345,15,57,8,5,108,53,78,0.023,0.912,0.065,0.4871,0,0,5,0,0,0,6.0,0,7,1,0,8,2,0,0,4,0,2,5,0,2,0,13,7,7,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,5,0,4,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,9,1,11,6,2,9,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,1,5,40,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369909334809523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3399094173213724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7537471970849751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15561850688825254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3120319722754485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.226247449134766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17515566098520494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272958736047795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640217227442664,0.12289335003713975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973201199252788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16688251974080132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,MCninjakitty308,2020/03/26,Helping my Boyfriend I want to help my new boyfriend get over his use of weed. I already know how to keep him calm while he's experiencing the effects and how to cheer him up afterwards. I can't physically intervene because he lives so far away from me and I can't leave my house due to COVID-19. I want to know how to get him to quit his addiction to weed.,3.982567567567572,4.6865126621621656,4.692810810810808,87.77786486486491,71.02702702702703,8.622702702702702,31.016216216216225,8.841846274778883,2.137938378378379,283,12,65,5,5,91,47,74,0.0,0.805,0.195,0.882,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,5,0,12,10,7,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,14,2,13,10,0,8,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,4,37,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27269433724806097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27604058441001145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350189140354087,0.0,0.0,0.1524857148552475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613802671195707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33533305981305983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886330722019386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22233985128381825,0.0,0.0,0.2749456594985606,0.0,0.0,0.26486681961538844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22088210308160192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.241591036700725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2660593783793836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21604446168680788,0.0,0.0,0.2950833163465463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,yGemzz,2020/03/26,I need support Hi im jscob im 17 from canada i had asd bipolar dissorder and depression i starting smoking poppers( a cross between tobacco and weed) it has gotten to the point when i go without i get sweats anxiety random anger ec. Today is the day i know i will run out so im looking for places for support online due to social distancing in place,0.036643192488259764,2.303858943661972,2.8386267605633826,85.24930164319252,100.40845070422537,5.183568075117371,25.6349765258216,6.816661863887847,1.7315906103286394,279,14,50,5,12,97,55,71,0.107,0.7929999999999999,0.1,-0.3574,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,3,0,4,2,1,0,0,7,13,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,2,1,7,2,9,10,0,13,0,1,1,0,2,5,0,1,5,28,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14411960246269975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214974554566859,0.0,0.16226202163566658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09842720702829147,0.0,0.10706769199248954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.610488073336384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035354873848038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158202093643725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13969051169017538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39365973601780013,0.0,0.17809162791861038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920422365280232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13334504756087198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4275707245395626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17857388294124069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816034652608869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Ieatanimeass,2020/03/26,"How in the hell did you manage to stop your addiction? I've been a polydrug user for about 3 years now. I have tried next to everything, well over 50+ drugs no joke including heroin/meth/cocaine but what I've always come back to is ketamine or MXE at the end of the day. Life without drugs is *boring* and the hobbies I used to have simply aren't satisfying unless I'm high, I realize this is a problem but every time I tell myself I'm going to quit almost immediately my will power is broken and I do it again. I've tried a few coping methods (like riding the wave) and it works temporarily but then I sink deep, deep down into depression and I think why not another bump? Life's short after all, might as well enjoy it right? In the last month I've done ketamine, xanax, heroin, cocaine, 2CB, LSD, DXM, MXE, adderall, meth and probably more. I feel empty off drugs, they make me feel calm and happy. 

tl;dr 

Tired of being reliant on drugs, how'd you stop? Any advice?",2.1228851922552465,4.348879352331608,3.778832833378786,86.06256067630218,79.31088082901555,6.135696754840468,21.038723752386147,7.273561745256523,0.7296694300518132,757,21,148,10,19,252,134,193,0.17600000000000002,0.728,0.096,-0.9562,1,0,10,0,0,0,33.0,0,3,1,3,7,11,1,0,9,0,14,9,0,3,1,28,23,14,0,1,7,0,2,1,0,2,9,0,0,0,5,8,0,2,4,1,0,3,4,4,2,0,3,2,15,7,21,17,3,30,1,1,0,0,5,13,1,3,15,86,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13995451475585774,0.0,0.12545267388677625,0.0,0.0,0.12855527951217924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10682348629404176,0.0,0.0,0.08730365392245337,0.13461893676980133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09871725849173926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105890811752836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279528699636415,0.0,0.11057458445888774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13137859408813904,0.0,0.0,0.5955259771198447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370768393428805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10816674207316272,0.0,0.11538079146686778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12982683714268706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07296202421059572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13666423027816965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13564184164020626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10464785541529174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18135895032209068,0.06272059507024316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08569548278514866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13619222073448176,0.0,0.0,0.10247269073112522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13653491823976902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384167036271285,0.12284352015291793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365492645469174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963688797298364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21466495085472226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221087311432257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226152264508675,0.0,0.0,0.07486014061171392,0.1475553638360628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17432488624547093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108801822076806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23086032751366525,0.0,0.1158441117447822,0.0,0.0,0.12375494588995498,0.0,0.09346308066389043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267331731541304
addiction,happy4thislife,2020/03/26,"Sugar Addiction A person has an eating disorder along with a sugar addiction.  If that person works with a therapist to address the eating disorder and also goes through a sugar detox; is it possible that at some point the person will be able to successfully manage the sugar addiction and occasionally enjoy a slice of cake, or should the addiction be treated in the same manner as an alcohol addiction?",18.145211267605628,10.611821619718311,17.035281690140845,36.1574295774648,51.112676056338024,20.96056338028169,56.62676056338028,17.122413403193686,9.044684507042254,329,15,44,12,2,113,46,71,0.073,0.843,0.083,0.1796,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,12,0,6,13,0,0,0,10,6,6,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,3,3,5,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,3,10,2,2,3,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,3,0,38,3,3,0.13757000391145294,0.0,0.0,0.7498580517936317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14702049647158835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100146824253155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31533428597744273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815369167810872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3603624632791952,0.0,0.0,0.13004812025124746,0.15508950913724664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15972937774832205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10015260129837658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,loverofdogss,2020/03/26,"I think I’m becoming addicted to sugar I’ve read articles that say sugar lights up the brain the same way highly addictive drugs such as cocaine do. Over the last 2-3 years I started to notice that I eat sugar a lot and for a long time this year I had been buying candy at least once a week. I feel really shamed of it, that I can’t control my eating habits or my cravings. I’ve gotten several cavities as well and my dentist is not happy with me. He doesn’t know about my sugar addiction because I’m too ashamed to tell him. The amount of cavities I’ve gotten has been an awakening for me and I haven’t bought candy for myself in months. Unfortunately, my birthday passed recently and a lot of my friends bought me-you guessed it-candy as gifts. Does anyone have any tips or suggestions on how I can manage my sugar intake or handle my cravings? Sugar free candy doesn’t work because it tears up my stomach.",4.242559899117275,5.359728699453552,5.5688524590163935,80.20921815889031,70.74863387978142,8.472299285414039,27.73812526271543,8.841846274778883,2.1592079865489704,724,25,138,13,13,243,113,183,0.08199999999999999,0.8690000000000001,0.049,-0.6995,0,0,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,5,6,0,2,9,0,12,15,2,2,0,18,23,11,0,0,4,0,1,0,1,0,5,1,0,0,6,5,8,1,3,1,4,1,5,2,1,0,7,9,21,5,20,16,5,18,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,6,9,84,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.483458823979202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10052723660032306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10336387751062956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802275889346998,0.1632629945214121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16502350515011407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16580023282271786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293641560354463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17143205958120927,0.3025272724798633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07474562969670807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421055467943755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628477946577906,0.0,0.0,0.15736428883237424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15618704252150026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124169753626803,0.12049850433973455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308219925093516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25135397653539043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799387497972975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16830169683589072,0.0,0.15743062882201356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14786672078281576,0.0,0.09470158008473628,0.0,0.14596104886616698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175577385085065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16700211275239701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10463251099245467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12920706618662153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472139112746407,0.0,0.0,0.08619894734178772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11733796700778225,0.11857767542587032,0.0,0.13291397165465926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10761961041904994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903911178261154
addiction,Jneiners,2020/03/26,"Love is not a cure for addiction Hello all, 
I'm at a loss on knowing where to go from here. I've worked in mental health for a few years as a mental health tech..so I'm not licensed in anything for THIS field...but Any who

In the last 2 months it has come to light that my brother has been using meth and I assume he has off and on for a while. It has been more apparent because of his behavior/appearance. He has always had a great work ethic and has never not had a job. 

 In a matter of a month of him learning to shoot up, he has had his car stolen, a rental car stolen, bank accounts emptied, lost his job, lost his place to live,  and has gone to jail for possession, and is on the verge of losing his rights to his child.  I have some experience working with people with addiction, but when it's your own family...its hard for me to find ways to cope with the thoughts of where he is
..who he's with...what he is doing...will I ever see/ hear from him again...how can I HELP him?!

What's hard, is watching what it's doing to my mom/ family. He has been staying with my mom off and on through all of this.  She has been helping him with paying for a different phone, when he needs gas money,  etc.  I feel like a piece of shit telling her to be careful... set boundaries... don't enable him.  Am I out of line/ cold?

...I've been trying to be strong and try to reach out to him and let him know that I will be there for him,  but I don't get a response. I haven't heard from him since I told him I couldn't/ wouldn't bail him out of jail. 

What is one suppose to do from here? How do I tell my mom that there isn't much she can do of he doesn't want the help.?

Are there places/ redources you've found useful when dealing with addiction?",2.1796749708057632,3.234286297002725,3.2830936161930744,94.86966961852863,75.67574931880108,6.441767224601012,21.82648890618918,6.7097532225279775,0.19398022576878216,1329,32,318,11,28,428,179,367,0.067,0.8540000000000001,0.079,0.8798,5,0,1,1,0,0,65.0,0,1,0,9,12,10,1,0,17,0,45,7,1,3,4,44,68,16,0,4,5,4,3,1,0,2,5,2,0,1,14,18,0,0,8,0,4,5,11,5,0,1,15,9,38,5,59,46,9,39,0,4,2,1,49,21,1,2,11,210,52,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32888425291691514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367614422224462,0.0,0.0,0.06838602062317825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275445637509317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06130203132289457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10253027912000433,0.0,0.0,0.08662578077967753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367563125518467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10506651977089214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215388838572757,0.0,0.09096463458382273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09836952526948324,0.09480147523889862,0.0,0.050847475239512316,0.07184194592951929,0.0,0.0,0.09191240017920736,0.0,0.0,0.1102617070790605,0.0,0.0,0.05253981114677205,0.0,0.0571520465432819,0.0,0.0,0.11087062830157483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801686852096072,0.0,0.0,0.21378669564370567,0.11334136580274765,0.0,0.20221498540807267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995857390856068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105331568053743,0.0819719459274656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028320781171169,0.0,0.04912980975322651,0.0,0.08879862362601645,0.0,0.0,0.11250383336747864,0.2195519278527611,0.0,0.09076167827993976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20268690885095164,0.0,0.0,0.3533331267704,0.16053622561721914,0.0,0.07392508640468949,0.07456589823876834,0.07756008135370791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06814382451040979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06971744909397096,0.0,0.21013303954178428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587991619046371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013537721994153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10322607009323016,0.08318642699558931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10718635787927387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17579230050913908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983547633387915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960918796956138,0.0,0.13655081695097246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737076075622546,0.0,0.0,0.0593144305967002,0.07982191596073596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196323249241263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06475902128839006
addiction,mo888888,2020/03/26,"Day 3 of sobriety. CBD only from now on. 
Today is day 3 of sobriety. My drug use went off to the deep end. Snorting coke and smoking crack on a regular basis. My last experience was smoking crack with a guy and girl in a motel room and drinking lots of vodka. He ended up fucking the girl right in front of me while I’m sky high on crack after we all finished our binge. So I just went up to her and put my dick in her months. I feel really bad about this but I hadn’t touched a woman in several months. And when I’m on drugs I feign hard for females. So I feel kind of fucked up about all of this and I was just like fuck man. Smoking crack and doing crazy shit like this has gotten out of control. I’m done with this shit. I bought cbd today and smoked it. Texted my best friend and told him I don’t want to talk to him until 2021. I’m gonna take getting sober seriously after just losing control with smoking crack and snorting coke. I’m just done with all of this shit. I’ve been a drug addict for 23 years. Most of those years weed only but I abused the hell out of weed. I think I can do this with cbd. Addiction just got way out of fucking hand.",0.8993095238095243,2.8043052897959195,2.503086734693877,95.29884778911564,81.81632653061223,5.3894557823129245,19.187925170068027,6.42735559955562,-0.1344931972789114,896,22,207,8,24,293,130,245,0.18899999999999997,0.728,0.083,-0.9845,0,0,8,0,1,0,21.0,2,0,0,4,11,16,8,0,8,0,12,17,5,3,3,38,35,17,0,1,7,0,5,2,1,1,5,0,1,5,8,19,3,2,3,3,1,4,2,11,0,0,12,7,22,5,43,22,6,43,1,1,0,5,15,20,9,2,20,121,30,0,0.0,0.12454494351277355,0.0,0.22918330821770394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776723830583548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103124665251272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357924438041326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13558189110056398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.215139760761811,0.0,0.10297339090363586,0.3657026011379372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18620266176688285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282334755668844,0.0,0.0,0.10629933619399994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121214710501952,0.3887111696786086,0.05491862695593646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407064646255064,0.0,0.0,0.10408109238138924,0.0,0.0,0.09416304128432212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106053296699114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10946185021982488,0.0,0.08568334413435097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10270846565154984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11759760686161118,0.0,0.08936562901352807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16780473502192586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598904885985653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10567033511867407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06733982401631802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976825339352086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11875084737801847,0.3236993383783271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07903394214177252,0.08448803671135682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735391113217896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19927482974304397,0.10044257829088836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078623515099724,0.0,0.0,0.06199997708297996,0.08343596845656145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19488665729916185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353821589587935
addiction,pjs5011,2020/03/27,"Scary thought This is random but idk thought maybe some people out there could relate. I was talking to my ex about my mom who has addiction problems since before I was born. It was just pills and alcohol for awhile. But when I was in middle school she started doing meth. And I don’t know how this thought never occurred to me, but she may never be sober again. The “mom” I know could already be dead. Because when she’s on anything it’s just not the same person. It’s only been like four or five years but she looks totally different. When I feel down about my self I look at pictures of her when she was my age and start to love the features she gave me. I look just like her. I know if she got clean and took care of herself that beauty would still be there. It just hadn’t hit me until today that it could be this way until she dies. When she dies I won’t have anymore memories of her sober than I do now. It’s scary as fuck. I’ve learned to live w these problems and fears like everyone else but just thought if there’s any young people going through this to know you’re not alone❤️❤️",2.335789473684212,3.9119746842105294,2.9601754385964902,95.21289473684212,76.28070175438597,5.852631578947369,22.52631578947368,6.339386263674448,0.22350526315789448,860,24,194,6,19,268,129,228,0.12,0.763,0.11699999999999999,0.0258,1,1,2,0,1,1,15.0,0,0,0,0,19,9,1,1,3,0,23,5,0,1,3,45,45,22,3,8,15,3,1,3,0,3,3,0,1,2,14,6,1,0,10,0,0,2,7,4,0,2,14,4,31,5,21,20,3,28,0,0,3,2,22,6,1,6,22,131,45,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12632849523465373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12384262623760495,0.0,0.0,0.12787867912522674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880374025625275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492381504703582,0.0,0.0,0.09536102007110997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706405974426991,0.0,0.0986070550122787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814943186554445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775670656580693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405344610025486,0.1210720357494758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680454932289187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110730226137792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13039947785818404,0.058593425892406424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071310505295505,0.0,0.0,0.06585841652823958,0.0,0.0926814290587867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547428874854614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169842289316663,0.0,0.10232593748795514,0.0,0.2919351071719803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458803795303424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641905419195712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27143921805667004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17875069932581708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813349010479989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606759890300655,0.10118370096007308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22176686586091648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172787803080735,0.0,0.0,0.12089020888604643,0.0,0.0,0.09585879578997338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16404376559939005,0.0,0.09254352251614216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09314156974239368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3679894857410017,0.0,0.0,0.1098425953240338,0.0,0.12874917646022366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09198174531585912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08231925476581002,0.0,0.0,0.07462421480816173
addiction,researcherkaceemsw,2020/03/27,"Research study on drug assisted psychotherapy (talk-therapy) for a social work student :) Can you help? I am a social work student trying to learn how a new treatment may be perceived in different communities. You could help me understand how to reach people affected by \[PTSD/anxiety/depression/addiction\]. Would you please click on the link to complete an anonymous 5-minute survey? I would really appreciate it! Thank you!

[Survey (click me](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/subgroupaddiction))",8.8171,12.951210893333334,7.575583333333332,57.44737500000002,66.73333333333333,11.216666666666667,37.375,10.686352973137794,5.843300000000001,407,21,48,14,8,124,58,75,0.021,0.7390000000000001,0.24,0.9423,1,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,4,0,2,2,1,0,0,5,0,7,1,0,3,0,11,9,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,7,1,8,4,0,4,0,0,2,0,8,3,0,1,1,30,8,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22162643658667505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21315563228320586,0.0,0.0,0.16231808867654107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21240468196513626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357628484406302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27253470631650695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963479004206679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14094225862355064,0.0,0.0,0.22316177457545272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376462077540378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302388498811057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4144764266342321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16340441767910344,0.0,0.1871708430312965,0.2324906681292005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13802699903735738,0.0,0.0,0.21164192389131728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960088791145486,0.0,0.0,0.2888362291077543,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,jjisgonewiththewind,2020/03/27,"Coronavirus situation sending anyone else into withdrawals? I use Kratom (secretly from my family) as they know I'm an addict but I need something to keep me away from going after the things I really want and they just don't understand, I already went to rehab. I can't order Kratom to my house and now that all non-essential businesses are closing because of the virus, I can't use the smokeshop to go buy Kratom anymore. Can't order it to any of my friends house as I don't have many friends or anyone willing to do that. So basically I'm just fucked. And on top of that the FDA is trying their hardest to make Kratom illegal, I can't handle all this stress and am seriously considering killing myself either tonight or tomorrow because I actually am not able to mentally take this anymore. This is fucking exhausting, I really don't even see the point in existing if this is how its gonna be forever. I just wanna beat the living fuck out of my brain I fucking hate this.",6.566942583732057,6.6555304789473695,7.355837320574166,73.08949760765552,65.26315789473685,10.90909090909091,35.16746411483254,10.637119530657019,3.8078421052631586,781,34,143,19,11,261,115,190,0.183,0.757,0.06,-0.9835,0,0,2,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,3,2,7,11,6,1,7,0,17,8,1,4,2,29,38,12,1,4,9,0,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,0,11,7,0,1,3,0,1,4,8,9,0,0,1,1,21,2,23,34,3,18,0,0,1,4,7,8,4,3,4,98,32,0,0.12881106814809742,0.0,0.12570102129257596,0.14042307750919206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14214621679154552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759594346044652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554919340727663,0.1801353877113246,0.13198216150550596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102223872620956,0.0,0.0,0.15704406312394176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437957524312137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10760511876248433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08507849566570146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143161115853715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19903822344310013,0.4763350274760668,0.0,0.0,0.14641259696158826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12717426195843815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972613562756866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11449319588110313,0.14251036195836478,0.0,0.07079119435373757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11374253310293732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598238822319161,0.1305942054055778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12981126000672016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955117748726962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12176809481664043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650393373031573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10264574408882042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14478903757065234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099165053399811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14755264335647528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968498925121442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557635001917438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745425989197778,0.0,0.0,0.13409686470847587,0.0,0.22250281025294014,0.0,0.0,0.07597610537344435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940915067615528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,TotalDig3,2020/03/27,"I think I am addicted to cocaine, how do I get out of this Sorry if this isn’t the right subreddit to post this to, just not sure where else to put it.

I first tried coke about 10 months ago. I thought it was fun but didn't really get what all the buzz was about, it was too expensive and the high compared to ecstasy was nothing. I took it a couple of times over summer and really enjoyed it, but like I said, the high was just not worth the money for me.

Then I got a job and my work mates took it every Friday's after work. I knew I had fun on it during summer, and now that I had money I thought what the hell, why not? So I started taking it with them, and obviously loved it. We didn't have a night together where we didn't do it, and we never ran out. This probably went on for about 5 months, and we probably took it around 3 times a week.

My other mates (not my work mates) liked it but couldn't afford it, so nights with them we would just drink. It was then that I realised that I couldn't just drink anymore. I would get extremely irritable after a few drinks, my heart would beat really fast and I would get really tired at like 12am. I would feel so unbelievably uncomfortable, while all my friends would be drunk and happy i would be sat there silently almost having a panic attack. My head felt like it would explode. This has happened every single time. I haven't enjoyed a night where I just drink for months now. I usually just end up going to bed, or say that I will buy us all coke as a treat and spend like £300 on it just so i can have some.

I honestly feel like there is no way I can just drink anymore. I guess I am not properly 'addicted' as I don’t really want it unless I am drunk. At this rate though I honestly think that I will never be able to enjoy just having a few drinks again, if i'm just having a night in with a beer all I can think about is how much I need it to actually enjoy myself. I can't remember what it was like to actually just get really drunk and enjoy myself, now it feels like drinking is just the prep for doing coke, and if i don't get coke my brain just switches off. 

I know after I say all of that, saying that I still really love taking it is ridiculous. But I do love it, and I am just hoping that it is my age and I will grow out of this when I'm older. 

If anyone has any advice on my situation, please let me know because I really don't think there is any way out of this now.",4.42174418604651,4.015668848837212,5.685054263565894,84.93862790697676,69.81395348837209,9.128062015503877,24.95193798449613,8.745826893841286,1.362429147286822,1890,40,431,29,30,637,204,516,0.085,0.722,0.19399999999999998,0.9967,2,0,9,0,0,0,46.0,6,0,2,5,40,29,3,1,18,0,59,24,3,2,9,97,100,37,0,17,29,0,4,8,4,11,3,4,1,0,43,27,15,0,14,11,6,8,19,4,0,1,24,8,64,25,46,59,10,68,1,0,0,3,19,21,1,9,44,310,107,4,0.060293290272553215,0.0,0.11767510778865654,0.13145717204196647,0.0,0.05891790544602065,0.053446363937652966,0.0,0.060375020860226676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200300986071547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958948531996053,0.04215847044739466,0.0,0.0,0.05367381126242449,0.0,0.06859232190702517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0367542301280608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730725213245912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06671337888987096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4134512940023428,0.0,0.0,0.050367307356692065,0.0,0.053401959184805864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159939496582493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145829751742388,0.0861470772357621,0.057891013912186415,0.0,0.0,0.051285441904992166,0.0,0.0,0.04658244650060142,0.0,0.1890045339217447,0.0,0.03426606632131158,0.0,0.04822205212784837,0.0,0.06641985676086741,0.0,0.053317157466369836,0.06418332864430988,0.0,0.0,0.06187831043430436,0.0,0.0,0.07144783927384975,0.0,0.12740634300859127,0.0,0.05988484160106429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059831787188199134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06627123105606626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06165397429908165,0.0,0.2356500487635287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16325114543459193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14437658719202842,0.0,0.04432250578522008,0.0447067107635912,0.0930038048432714,0.0,0.0,0.22632467416518076,0.0,0.05785303813554581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07074118521973242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661839269840059,0.0,0.0,0.05774430547629296,0.0,0.13001272916372086,0.0,0.0,0.060611409842432525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.309003405172246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06830054440430168,0.051490140455819344,0.05735272607374293,0.14384293326061878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777218445618408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749340217574389,0.04267590118277512,0.0,0.04815029949567911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056825712540100486,0.0,0.0906661013848062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15453402348117784,0.059237851567028224,0.09573227530105913,0.10547250727116672,0.06929826766699712,0.0,0.0,0.20096419191198853,0.04093518633954599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252540448085493,0.0,0.0664045410633287,0.0,0.0355625447480371,0.09571601479339333,0.04836364062143689,0.0,0.0,0.05589248413528365,0.0544053164495904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13168270022412035,0.0,0.0,0.3426449880849076,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,superthrowaway93,2020/03/27,"I am addicted to saving pics and videos Be it porn videos, photos of hot girls etc, I seem to have an addiction to saving content that, in most cases, I never look at again. It started being triggered with me seeing a photo of a cute girl somewhere, then wanting to refer to it to either show my friends or just curiousity or ""personal"" use and finding out the photo had been deleted. Now it has gotten to a point where I'll save anything I like, mostly hot IG girls and nudes/porn, but it goes to other things like food, cars etc., anything and everything I feel I may want to refer back to, the thing is that 90% of the times I don't refer to it.

Am I weird? Do I need help? And if someone has been through this, what has helped?",5.800743243243242,5.046612047297302,6.375,82.30750000000002,67.04054054054055,8.751351351351351,29.986486486486484,7.645422480735847,1.7766459459459458,565,17,117,5,8,185,96,148,0.013999999999999999,0.87,0.11599999999999999,0.9125,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,7,0,15,4,0,2,1,31,25,10,0,4,6,0,3,2,1,1,2,0,0,4,13,7,1,0,6,3,0,1,2,1,0,0,4,5,11,7,19,18,5,13,0,0,2,1,7,5,0,7,9,86,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39694150411041496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29963743864928355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13999182925868256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4060869386675274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163622534757821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09205430081911516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16639826648716013,0.0,0.2201459875454468,0.0,0.14065802642695482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24406009028904066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778892763074695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15288337537284985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349941485783974,0.14041481955314775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589665513546475,0.0,0.0,0.17210422804618028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14507713679214165,0.1657393161367204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15425766501642926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288620175044562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419032946394928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10615983651605336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572401804198012,0.0,0.0,0.21476576413454726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,donnarubydonnaruby,2020/03/27,Bf is addicted to cocaine... he is sober at the moment (couple months) but always talking about how he wants to get to a point where he can do it every now and then and be ok ... is this just his addiction talking or does this happen? Sorry if I sound naive - this is all still new to me,3.2682203389830486,3.81917137288136,4.5625,88.62307203389831,72.5593220338983,7.255932203389831,23.224576271186447,7.1686216300943375,0.6859457627118637,217,5,48,2,4,72,47,59,0.066,0.889,0.045,-0.0772,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,2,1,7,2,0,1,1,9,10,7,0,2,4,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,6,9,1,9,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,2,6,34,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5369567231056384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20492225367373496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725008971330532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155187263117612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20749905593948434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12866960598940627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21778200240995396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19657601013724896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378559318606417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328114378752306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2756870203473477,0.0,0.0,0.19667718871588896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39589636511455656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14526059854008996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,catscradle56,2020/03/27,Pimple Stickers [question] Which of the various pimple stickers/patches are your favorites and why? Do different types work better for different types of acne?,7.417066666666668,11.459141640000002,6.539999999999999,63.01666666666665,72.6,8.133333333333335,40.333333333333336,8.841846274778883,5.290333333333334,131,8,13,3,3,40,20,25,0.0,0.784,0.21600000000000005,0.7236,2,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,10,2,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3177406238602272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7507107455518636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40245892884033935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32418070763943163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26154913850548805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,bella-noire-,2020/03/27,"What are some of the obvious and it so obvious Signs of meth use??? Hello everyone. I have never posted in this subreddit before, however I really could use some insight. 

I’m 26F. I began dating this guy a few months ago. He told me he had struggled with addiction in the past. Heroin and meth. He made it very clear that he wasn’t using any longer and he was participating in an outpatient type of program , which required going 1-2 a week. Therapy. Uas etc. 

Things were great, we have a lot in common and hit it off pretty rapidly. 

However lately I’ve been starting to see some red flags exhibiting.  Some key examples would be,

• extreme insecurities to the point where he sounds delusional , the stuff he accuses me of or says I’m doing is so far fetched and insane. 

• mood swings , up and down. One minute he’s nice the next he’s very agitated. 

• always defensive when I kindly tell
Him anything he’s doing that isn’t healthy or respectful to me. 

•paranoia about others. Even his own friends and family thinking they are trying to turn me against him. Even though they never say anything remotely like that. 

• inflated ego. But then acts insecure at times. But is also overly confident at times , to the point it comes off delusional sometimes.  He will post on social media lives almost everyday about his life or what he’s doing like he is some celebrity. He even said he has fans and that I’m jealous lol. Even though I’ve never said anything about it. 

• he says every woman wants him. Co workers. Random strangers. He will try to make me jealous saying they all want him and I’m not saying that’s not possible however, I know it’s a lie. 

• he lives with his mother currently and is always broke despite having a decent paying job that is full time. No bills besides his cell. No car payment no rent. And yet he will be broke 4-5 days after getting paid. Which is every two weeks at least 800$. 

I think he is a functioning addict. His niece has told me she thinks he’s using again and ever since then it’s been on my mind. I don’t wanna come off as negative by asking him and him getting offended which I know he will flip and turn it around on me and not admit it if he is. I really care for this man and I don’t know what to do at this point nor do I know the signs of meth use. 

He sleeps every night. I know they say meth keeps you up but idk if that’s a stereotype but he goes to bed at a reasonable time. Is that normal if someone’s using meth or possible? And he eats a lot as well. 
But the other night I slept over and he was twitching ALOT in his sleep. His whole body almost. Like spasms and twitching. 


If anyone has experience with dating a user or ex user can you please tell me if I should be concerned or what signs that aren’t so obvious I can look for. I’m trying to be patient and positive and be supportive even if it’s as a friend. If he’s using I will definitely not pursue a romantic relationship with him any further. I can’t. But I will try to be supportive and there for him if I can be. 

Thank you for reading.",1.5599779065200288,3.974619226973687,3.261933424980364,87.83905636292225,82.8815789473684,6.45879811468971,21.410153181461123,7.705687417285907,1.0398762961508252,2382,75,478,43,67,789,284,608,0.064,0.838,0.099,0.9752,7,0,5,0,0,0,64.0,1,3,4,2,22,24,4,3,22,1,53,10,4,10,9,108,102,55,0,15,24,2,0,3,2,8,5,9,2,3,34,30,1,3,11,1,4,5,18,9,1,2,15,12,52,14,55,70,15,67,0,2,3,0,77,29,0,25,34,306,86,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13981695042731246,0.0,0.0,0.05684518768443711,0.0,0.12842891973923512,0.0,0.0,0.051282763991611136,0.10671848717207312,0.0,0.0,0.0872178412671607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04483946125627092,0.0,0.15831448389234282,0.0570870991057649,0.05995058562890359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05456780632440037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07123123128452477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653822925202883,0.0,0.0,0.11048038076842023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051200616017368535,0.0,0.0,0.0413569528563609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06561847446140531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07151914927629131,0.2117781496802587,0.05800702386072251,0.16209063395392492,0.06127660473575337,0.0,0.06272903118427572,0.06045372975304035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908954394786924,0.0,0.06700797717205724,0.0,0.03644515412712778,0.0,0.0,0.07070083017171265,0.0,0.06349633857316442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363668024593849,0.05699949672348153,0.0,0.06677895613291833,0.17621407191775265,0.0,0.07233864904056968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04529517216891328,0.09398841845515403,0.0,0.11325157085586107,0.0,0.053850975759188915,0.0,0.0,0.10903786858527288,0.0,0.06067902110409903,0.04280562541807621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06475052638808658,0.0,0.051185984050247935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14837731752481184,0.0,0.06820035755340981,0.1203586889048878,0.06283136557503101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043454475164122784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061216985260446485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039277275228073,0.18186373613153467,0.1445883134746036,0.12283289790626267,0.06524075407872466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06414488559556084,0.0,0.08216347786837794,0.06593378308975571,0.0,0.06884897006724687,0.0,0.0,0.1219999355495612,0.3059807229475267,0.0,0.0,0.05110134020493089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053046956959683714,0.0,0.1283476878224957,0.06536994287383249,0.05433504957102106,0.0,0.06342376866194792,0.0,0.045389797052747365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06704001979084717,0.07341068150450747,0.0,0.1455423262246574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210057861298127,0.05904001545255741,0.07333542135421303,0.0,0.04260348263481839,0.12327099901500607,0.12600994875081567,0.0,0.14957311791117564,0.0,0.0,0.12255320947150675,0.0,0.17415353853320215,0.1395046797731893,0.06264328044910046,0.0,0.0,0.3876991848495421,0.0,0.10582385938515948,0.0756481594555836,0.0,0.10287847575319924,0.0,0.05765835247244184,0.0,0.0,0.07159609910029782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04555435866399566,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,zeldazonkisme,2020/03/27,"CBD oil and NON-psychoactive herbs I was recently in the hospital. It was suggested I had a substance abuse issue because I took non-psychoactive CBD oil as needed and alternative herbs that are NON-psychoactive. 

I have severe spine issues, R.A and fibromyalgia. I used to take medications (I never abused). Now, I take natural substances that are non-psychoactive. 

Is this really considered a substance abuse issue??",6.245285714285713,9.547750671428574,6.515714285714285,66.15928571428572,70.85714285714286,11.428571428571427,32.85714285714286,10.914260884657429,5.159571428571429,337,16,47,13,7,108,45,70,0.16699999999999998,0.7959999999999999,0.037000000000000005,-0.8708,0,0,0,0,3,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,7,2,1,1,1,6,12,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,2,7,0,3,8,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,29,11,0,0.0,0.6296014895085394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10797530042475828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5546253776012691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17843735530817156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13133782176588402,0.13661167345375774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347243361340854,0.0,0.17489207057358402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20010369558395213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26635572289927745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967952071612844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15298131813778545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,loChatt,2020/03/27,"My mom is going to kill herself and I can’t do anything about. I got a call tonight from my dad saying my mom had drank to much and fell. He didn’t know if she was hurt. I drove over and found her laying crumbled up on the floor. I thought she was dead. My dad told me she was talking and had a pulse. We got her up and carried her to bed. I laid with her and held her hand as she muttered and cried about why this is happening now because she always drinks to much. I told her she just drank too much and it was an accident. 

I’ve been her, I’ve been crumbled up in the bathroom floor after overdosing on alcohol, sleeping medication and Xanax. My parents thought I was dead. I’ve done this to them.  It’s much easier to be the crumpled up person on the floor than it is to be the sober one knowing there’s not much you can do if it continues this way. 

I sought help and have been sober a little over a year but addiction is still a major part of my life. My mom is going to kill herself and there’s nothing I can do about it. I grieve now so the process is easier for me later.",1.2069730848861298,2.9208579913043486,2.7388198757764,94.9339855072464,79.95652173913044,5.946169772256727,22.25672877846791,6.868970318607317,0.3929772256728783,838,26,196,9,21,274,116,230,0.106,0.853,0.042,-0.9393,1,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,1,1,1,0,11,4,2,0,12,0,27,10,2,0,0,24,43,16,5,2,5,6,1,0,0,0,5,1,1,1,8,13,4,1,5,1,0,4,3,4,0,1,23,2,37,0,28,18,7,27,0,2,0,0,32,14,0,2,8,142,45,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13445995825043408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13181407981312382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026296402964842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014991807957745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518756370277348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12594500983174228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354843597635491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12622072468978732,0.0,0.1208272796957466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352371030140271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14019513048703913,0.0,0.19729422184103615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090700896056286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826729107715913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320391528102153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729172107472384,0.0,0.135570038858874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711943637970497,0.0,0.12362014224503468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12425313906430475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4333666667164395,0.0,0.0,0.4533493444947049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11834907097929835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357909249923247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369556476706493,0.13356634552740615,0.0,0.0,0.10769665372364652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09808575929032516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12343013270858284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09850032766364478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09913686975910947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958380442885255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357153317767761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790239020894943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11129611971385216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794275969878282
addiction,havenmarah,2020/03/27,"I’m an alcoholic and drug addict. I’m a drug addict and alcoholic. However I’m on klonopin for anxiety and I’m getting on stimulants for ADHD. I don’t misuse drugs I’m prescribed. Only street drugs. I want to go to rehab, but I’m afraid my medication will be taken from me, and I really need it. It’s the only thing that works for me. I have severe anxiety and ADHD.",0.4644011544011555,2.733112467532472,3.990822510822512,81.68877344877345,86.66233766233766,7.578066378066379,21.542568542568546,8.515128840125781,1.8296447330447327,288,10,57,8,9,106,46,77,0.1,0.883,0.017,-0.6858,1,0,6,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,3,0,4,10,0,1,0,9,15,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,10,0,0,0,4,5,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,7,0,8,12,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,32,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31994593343780314,0.35271630659841524,0.0,0.0,0.31365009594533944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22451800297932026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6807072818209805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766678494223004,0.0,0.08339817755180201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14782946193714816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880905228681427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232113325369246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940081676104104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16577931004817945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09749040425813428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655360067537451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10683161110288343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,convision178,2020/03/27,"Hey everyone, I'm currently trying to find out how one could make the lives of addicts a lot easier :). I had to struggle with an strong addiction myself for 4 years and it made nearly insane. After a long time I could beat it, So I want to help those, who are in the same position as I was.

Which is why I have two very simple questions:

• As an addict what exactly are your 2 biggest problems ( for example: Urges and so on )

• Regarding your addiction, what would you wish for more than anything else?

Thanks, so much in advance, I will look forward to read your answers. Hold strong, we will get through it 🔥.",2.2867514124293784,4.659894822033898,3.4450000000000003,87.87789548022602,79.59322033898304,6.984180790960453,25.08757062146893,8.07648339933343,1.6462519774011302,471,18,93,9,12,152,89,118,0.061,0.782,0.156,0.8969,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,4,0,4,4,5,0,1,6,0,11,4,0,3,1,21,19,8,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,8,5,0,1,3,1,0,2,0,2,0,2,3,1,12,3,19,11,4,13,0,0,1,0,9,7,0,2,6,68,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6753258792272733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12744504833195033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473026405112679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12937425017065488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479851936505657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14154863431222015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08091333161083032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380628716825174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13675329855993618,0.13705532829013312,0.1300520338938703,0.0,0.0,0.13166517765973407,0.0,0.1465420077913926,0.1033771174846361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11384747870357392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10494411284498438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14818994656828374,0.0,0.0,0.17349016235861234,0.0,0.15491219458857874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619040472929085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14258375047958965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09030610832003733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514675721633844,0.0,0.15128576441438915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12778420403264956,0.0913465063429952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397463432205447,0.0,0.17809318408206054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100154066562585,0.0,0.0,0.09973138558992048
addiction,audsquad21,2020/03/27,"Relapsing I'm a 25 year old female who is in a relationship (6 months) with someone who was addicted to heroin and meth for 9 years or so. He's been sober for a year and a half now and I'm so proud of him. 

I know almost nothing when it comes to drug use or addiction. So learning about his past was scary. He's got quite the criminal history too because of stealing money for drugs. I'm completely in love with who is now and I can definitely see a future with him. But when I imagine him relapsing someday I feel terrified... Is there anyway to be prepared for something like that? I'm so naive about signs of drug use that he could probably fool me, at least for a while, if he decided to start using again..",2.6720804597701147,4.296780800000004,4.340431034482759,85.4655890804598,75.48275862068967,8.14367816091954,26.56609195402299,8.841846274778883,1.9865747126436788,556,21,117,12,12,187,92,145,0.128,0.77,0.102,-0.5927,0,0,5,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,14,5,0,0,7,0,9,6,0,3,0,23,23,15,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,6,8,0,0,5,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,4,2,9,3,20,17,1,18,0,0,1,1,13,3,0,4,15,74,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3329953078959459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15293649139323592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310246057982198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13156290527723752,0.16013393188799913,0.0,0.0,0.12194204524600473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5313530518924093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722460344151999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12215170040749808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08393611640722483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07461589896998448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13784429964004616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219071969934749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14654803497911756,0.0,0.1602638752861388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457975502466822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16466818852776008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624465794121964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639742814858527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12170560481708492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12940717492511708,0.11757859917016278,0.0,0.0,0.10810269712449368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3957276456377389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29505829235572706
addiction,Chloemeow25,2020/03/27,"Recovery doesn’t fare well online. This really blows, every NA meeting near me is closed. I live on the east coast and I don’t see this ending anytime soon. I fight this battle alone. I have to want it, and I don’t think I do. Please god, remove my shortcomings and let me see blessings.",0.903201970443348,3.3367074482758636,2.289704433497537,93.40431034482759,86.58620689655174,5.383251231527094,16.9064039408867,6.868970318607317,-0.020490640394088544,224,5,47,3,7,72,43,58,0.127,0.684,0.18899999999999997,0.4019,0,1,0,0,1,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,2,0,1,0,7,0,0,0,0,6,11,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,2,1,0,0,2,9,2,3,10,0,7,1,0,2,0,2,4,0,0,2,29,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32565546508807114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27849234681692364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26492149699315365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32152678020148123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.277648143104518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3451505792802446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014324118311661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5011212510635842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20147455036902345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18545942315316047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827110366321383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Cd0g23,2020/03/27,Intervention A close family member of mine was found unresponsive after overdosing on Pills last night. My parents are planning an intervention and we are all creating letters to read to him per the therapist/addiction specialist we are working with. Does anyone have advice on what they have done in a similar situation and what to include? My brother is not the type to share emotions and will most likely see the letters as childish.,10.194605263157897,10.261797144736844,9.830526315789477,58.42368421052634,57.81578947368421,13.389473684210527,44.0,12.602617957971056,6.150615789473684,357,19,51,11,4,116,59,76,0.028999999999999998,0.914,0.057,0.29600000000000004,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,2,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,6,0,9,1,0,0,1,11,11,4,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,7,2,11,7,2,7,0,0,1,0,9,4,0,1,4,41,9,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760499952219824,0.0,0.24744617983522404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17705911948043596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215967909834881,0.2591346219417591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848413258278483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387157173500739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27764549481210626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20641020432799492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237117644947988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376322426971489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2811737142941154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253291111099934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017856157825688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846327956810208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.294010938862129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843490580900952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,crackheadthrowaway69,2020/03/28,"Relapsed in a new house and might’ve ruined any chance of getting along with the neighbours Meth head. On/off for about 8 years on a casual - moderate basis. After my last stint of sobriety which lasted around 7 months, I had a few relapses for small amounts but got back on the straight and narrow until last week when I lost my job due to covid19 creating a work shortage. Needless to say I went fairly hard, I’ve currently been awake for 48 hours and am only 2 weeks to moving into my room in this house. One other housemate is a friend and is aware of my issue, the other isn’t but I’m sure he is now. Neither of them use. I wasn’t being raucous, but I did jerk off a lot, I’m all twitchy and the neighbours directly next door we’re straight onto it, first off arguing about whether to call the cops and then decided to try and mess with me as most people do in a situation where they can’t just simply walk away from a crackhead.
I feel horrible, I’m pulling my head in from now but I think they think I’m blissfully unaware that they’re watching me like a hawk. I can’t go straight up and talk to them in the state I’m in, but was thinking of leaving some sort of apology letter or token in their letterbox.
Fuck meth.",4.559447211155375,4.965807302788846,5.242866035856576,85.41497634462155,69.597609561753,8.506075697211157,29.63172310756972,8.472884824447931,1.9781093625498007,967,35,204,14,16,313,157,251,0.128,0.78,0.092,-0.8761,2,0,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,5,3,9,10,3,0,15,0,14,3,2,1,2,33,30,19,0,0,8,0,2,1,3,0,0,1,2,0,6,13,0,0,5,1,0,5,5,6,0,2,8,4,20,4,41,21,7,49,0,2,1,1,15,23,1,5,21,126,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09688952438745588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683510164106088,0.0,0.0,0.13386221652812386,0.10955633349085116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14548536528247974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07204085933594309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211912119473473,0.0,0.0,0.11007769334109664,0.13171806946197648,0.07443856605529903,0.0,0.08097319535319633,0.0,0.11395220013485415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276317737192295,0.0,0.29244585427107583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14031154871351031,0.3287996029328289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487093989841335,0.14138684455028153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3484143154544592,0.0,0.15086300480959924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06960726559110435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15553092338284982,0.12112919872767824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15114601622466126,0.0,0.0,0.1137241091473732,0.15143093845894495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13760557016791394,0.15152634163836662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09654638018984374,0.10836049039161004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09877589634060474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11330375485639778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601505781266286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13428327253695727,0.0,0.0,0.1145179450073821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738813135432995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967328087563416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12305473637608688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285735679905433,0.0,0.0,0.13207798625682804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10372525119457557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09175078057258124
addiction,flygirlbri,2020/03/28,Hey ya'll I uploaded some original music pertaining to previous mental health and substance abuse history. I was looking for HONEST opinions and feedback if anyone had the time to please help. Check it out and let me know! Link to one is below! I uploaded 3 originals today. Heres the link to one.... about addiction [https://youtu.be/i1QWFUEFdek](https://youtu.be/i1QWFUEFdek),8.935789473684213,13.062882491228073,6.539561403508773,65.09776315789476,66.19298245614036,10.115789473684213,32.30701754385965,10.125756701596842,4.546733333333334,310,13,38,9,6,89,46,57,0.066,0.7490000000000001,0.18600000000000005,0.7729,0,0,0,0,1,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,2,0,12,6,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,4,1,8,3,1,6,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,3,4,27,5,1,0.0,0.34190594664998675,0.0,0.3145817635884716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017734867946195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3067343380727568,0.0,0.0,0.1934210779917119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15858945097450425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.295080377372665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24232448030816794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29080871770441385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3910823513504648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3167610583497496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16826634780017527,0.0,0.2735287655408608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ItMayBeMeWhoKnows,2020/03/28,"Drug use and relapsing during isolation Hi everyone, so I (F, 20) am worried about my boyfriend (M, 21) during the quarantine/lockdown/isolation period

He has a history of substance abuse and fairly recently had a relapse, but he regretted it and it was like a wake up call for him at that point, but right now it's such a high stress situation and it's all so up in the air and uncertain that I'm really worried he'll fall back into old habits and redevelop addictive behaviours we've worked for so long and he's worked so hard to work through and overcome 

I'm high risk so I could go see him before the official lockdown was put in place, I've been isolating for a few weeks now, and he seemed fine while he was still able to go out to uni and get out and about but now he's stuck in his accomodation, and with not being able to go home and see his family and not being able to see me or go out and about he's feeling crappy and trapped

How can I ask and make sure he's not using again and going back to old addictions? I don't want him to feel like I don't trust him or that I'm accusing him, because that's not the case at all I really am just genuinely so worried about him

I can't lose him 

Thank you in advance for any help, it is so welcome and appreciated",5.176918238993714,4.712561283018868,6.4841509433962266,80.04069182389938,68.24528301886792,10.689308176100633,30.874213836477992,10.355215969177356,2.841961006289308,1000,35,219,24,15,341,140,265,0.168,0.728,0.10400000000000001,-0.9339,0,6,1,0,1,0,17.0,0,1,0,5,21,12,0,3,9,0,16,4,1,4,3,48,39,33,0,3,10,0,3,2,0,1,3,0,1,0,9,24,0,0,3,0,0,8,7,5,0,0,6,6,19,7,30,29,3,40,0,2,3,0,24,18,0,4,16,132,28,3,0.32522994824242796,0.1284481022241931,0.0,0.23636576621841865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07372250580499634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134869959694556,0.0,0.0,0.1667211699678665,0.0,0.06608571925778074,0.0,0.09224891054558162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069871334788224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655654982327722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12572116209546302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035903843229599,0.0,0.0,0.1021992834929354,0.0,0.10963068926528036,0.07744811333613565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056639741528526716,0.0,0.30805945752211705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09711405065103287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726649262512732,0.2290821977875697,0.10874405190542136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10592728314134432,0.0,0.0,0.09593942326830923,0.0,0.12128304049478725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07236450530125245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275160807429652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11326535808248307,0.0,0.1024824748994987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898197569936753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13890042188858615,0.0,0.10704177928536404,0.0,0.0,0.09258153292426233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591661610858683,0.09869237669910054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12185736280838315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657635226101795,0.0,0.124183268958136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217512576005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09980934677334354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18726283515522926,0.0,0.0,0.06394301663026135,0.0,0.08695994897067133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23677127579047635,0.3302867994775593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,The_Angelic_Demon,2020/03/28,"Do I actually need help? Am I an alcoholic? Am I in denial? I've been sick with what doctors think is COVID-19 for a month now. I got tested recently and had to go to the ER because of the severity of my symptoms. No pneumonia, normal labs, normal oxygen level, so I didn't need to be hospitalized. Honestly I only reached out for help because this sickness was getting in the way of my drinking.

I can't stop thinking about drinking. I hate being sick because it gets in the way of my drinking. I tried to drink a shot from my hidden stash a little over a week ago, but I ended up projectile vomiting it onto the wall. I used a disinfectant with a fragrant to clean it and hide the smell. I lied and told my boyfriend it was water. He doesn't like me drinking, so I hide it from him.


I mainly use alcohol for school. It feels like it's the only thing that helps with my PTSD and stops making me feel hyper-vigilant all the goddamn time. I only drink a shot before class or if I need to work on something school-related. I don't know why, but I'm really productive when I'm on alcohol. I also kind of hate life right now and want to be drunk all the time.


I'm hiding this from everyone, including my boyfriend. He grew up with an absent alcoholic father, so he has some strong opinions regarding alcohol. I technically should be ""seeking help"" but I don't want to. I don't think it's really a problem, and I don't see myself as an alcoholic. It's not like I binge-drink frequently, although I can get pretty drunk when I hang out with friends which is rare these days.


Right now I just want to drink so badly. Just one shot, but I think it will be too obvious. I might have another reaction since I'm sick, and my condition has only gotten worse. I don't want my boyfriend to catch me drinking. I feel like he just doesn't understand. No one does. Not even my therapist. They could never understand. I'm really upset that I can't drink right now.",3.0113120229007637,4.6361922264631055,4.602740935114507,83.93747018129773,74.57251908396947,8.2712786259542,26.53061386768448,8.930421266530582,2.0719873409669214,1527,56,310,33,32,513,189,393,0.17800000000000002,0.7290000000000001,0.09300000000000001,-0.9893,0,0,17,0,0,0,50.0,0,0,1,2,17,13,2,1,20,0,32,26,0,3,4,59,67,22,0,13,11,1,3,4,1,3,14,0,1,0,18,14,18,2,10,11,0,4,15,5,1,2,8,5,47,8,39,50,4,41,0,0,1,0,13,17,0,5,22,197,65,6,0.0,0.0,0.06118282584323745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05557674240884653,0.4020215122396727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05013843881028722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06574283918448519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052349032181800696,0.11465777443600612,0.0,0.05335017860689215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050058123888481784,0.0,0.0,0.04043411253160576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06417261454897956,0.0548662067056066,0.0,0.0,0.614187874466271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05553056767722978,0.0,0.0,0.041410505100062216,0.0,0.0,0.059909276683064464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09510383621619158,0.08958091005764325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04843922840023023,0.0,0.09826913864642392,0.0,0.035631915831084965,0.0,0.05014418890425811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123799801165258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680968055247239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06528884844102552,0.03445640513372111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04428445429665178,0.12252154397294893,0.06283845220870987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04185045936898735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06651117205921576,0.0,0.0,0.05004381841952794,0.0,0.0,0.13946617683590315,0.048355473824625086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228586890818054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496966132347761,0.1907343217076849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06378496987502888,0.0,0.05999216740271441,0.0732889563102574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12049511922420755,0.0,0.06190531692460428,0.0,0.0,0.16062763087382065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12690458863121054,0.0499610633195924,0.0,0.0,0.07082929861990052,0.0,0.051863265521923024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0482668965574611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10483430995091082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651657610766221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07279557106276427,0.041652827206045205,0.16069376817541495,0.0,0.0,0.07311776936672236,0.0,0.0,0.059909276683064464,0.0,0.04256686777242693,0.0,0.0,0.130538718543688,0.0,0.10829944378614663,0.0,0.0,0.1479202881730427,0.09953126661299624,0.050291421132168036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056573918882823974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04564386281166277,0.0,0.06389317954022174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ZepNess,2020/03/28,"Information Addiction Step 1 # Step 1: We admitted that we were Powerless over Information; that our lives have become unmanageable.

**Tl;DR:** Stop trying to control Information.

As a hunter on the great plain 100,000 years ago you spot the herd you’ve been tracking for weeks. Your senses heighten—your eyes dilate; your muscles twitch with anticipation of your next move. Every fiber of your being aligns for one singular purpose—a successful kill.

In those hostile and uncertain times you could rely on two things—your body reacting to novel information, and your ability to focus on what this information is telling you.

Maybe in a sea of green you discover a splash of blue. Is that a bushel of berries to be picked and eaten and shared?

Is that rustling of leaves and a cracking of a twig in the pitch black darkness as you rest by the fire a predator poking around and hoping to make you its next meal?

Is the wind blowing in your direction protecting you and masking your scent from your imminent kill?

In this idealized and no doubt romanticized notion of early man’s existence relying on novel information was essential to survival. Ignoring it could be disastrous for you and your tribe. And not acting properly in accordance with what you’ve been taught by the gatekeepers of information—the elders of your people who relay the wisdom gained from perhaps centuries of failure and turmoil and death—help you become more efficient and effective for the group. Not adhering could get you and everyone you know killed.

The ability to focus and the ability to discern—two key tactics in our ability to survive. Period.

It is time to relearn those valuable skills in this day and age in order for us to survive.

What happened to our ability to do this and what can we do about it now?

Before these questions are answered, or rather, explored, we need to take a look at our main adversary of the 21st century—Information.

Information is neutral and cares not of your beliefs, values, opinions, or preferences. Information is all of these things, and much, much more.

What is Information? In a word—EVERYTHING!

The brain does not rest—it is constantly processing, recording, and transmitting Information.

And for most of our history it seems that this was the only technology in the known universe capable of performing these functions to such a high level.

This all changed dramatically with the invention of the computer.

In TK, John Von Neumann wrote his book, *The Brain and the Computer*.

In his book, Von Neumann says a lot of things that I can barely comprehend but that’s ok because this is the first draft and I’m here and we’ll sort it out later.

But the point is, the idea of using the computer as a model to understand our brains was introduced and the way of thinking is as old as computing itself.

This will be explored in more detail later.

Our brains and our bodies—the basic human hardware, has not changed much since it has fully formed around TK thousand years ago.

What has changed—significantly—is the software.

Where our brave and courageous ancestors rarely saw radical or life-altering differences to their environment and technologies—our current state is in perpetual change and flux and overload.

Even so back to 50 years ago when Alvin Toffler, the great futurist and writer, popularized the expression, “information overload” in his book, *Future Shock*.

Information overload was used to describe what future humans ,i.e. us, are going to be dealing with in our current age of information. However, even back then people began to feel the deluge of information of their psyche and the term became popular to describe their era of three television channels beaming information into their brains at home.

How quaint.

And now here we are with three or more streaming services in our pocket, access to all the information we couldn’t consume in a million lifetimes, and a video platform which has around [8 hours of content uploaded](https://www.statista.com/statistics/259477/hours-of-video-uploaded-to-youtube-every-minute/) every second. That’s around 500 hours, or 20 days of content uploaded every minute!

In the time it took to read that last paragraph, about a week's worth of content has just been uploaded. Yikes.

Social media platforms, designed to keep your eyeballs locked in, are working hard to keep your attention on them in a perpetual state of agitation—flight/flight and paralysis from Too Much Information.

“Big Brother isn't watching. He's singing and dancing. He's pulling rabbits out of a hat. Big Brother's busy holding your attention every moment you're awake. He's making sure you're always distracted. He's making sure you're fully absorbed.He's making sure your imagination withers. Until it's as useful as your appendix. He's making sure your attention is always filled.And this being fed, it's worse than being watched. With the world always filling you, no one has to worry about what's in your mind. With everyone's imagination atrophied, no one will ever be a threat to the world.”

More and more apps are developed every day to make you more productive or to help you meditate or focus or to track your screen time.

Is that really the answer you need? More information to combat information?

Is the latest and greatest gizmo or app the right call when you’ve never even developed a coherent and stable structure/philosophy of technology use?

What good is having the best sea-liner in the middle of Wyoming?

What’s the point of owning a snowboard in Fiji?

Why are you trying so hard to control the flow of information, and how is that working out for you?

Do you feel in control? Does your life seem manageable?

How effective are you at doing the work and solving the problems you are uniquely designed to solve?

Although it is useful to understand the flow and history of information, what is most needed now are new maps to navigate the Info-Universe we all inhabit and for most, are being crushed by.

The first step to recovering from an addiction is to admit that you’re powerless over it, and that it is making your life unmanageable.

Trying to control the flow of information—or even worse—trying to keep up with the latest headlines and gadgets and apps and trends—does not work.

If it did, you’d be able to shut off your device right now, step outside, and go for a walk and have no anxiety about what you’re missing out on with the latest tweet, post, or snap.

You could see others in the world and not nervously reach for your device to sooth your nervousness around conversation.

The song you hear at the grocery store could be just that—and not some song you must identify and look up and add on five playlists and share on seven platforms.

[Phantom vibration syndrome](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phantom_vibration_syndrome), where you feel your device vibrate in your pocket when it’s not there, would not exist.

Do you still feel in control?

Again, the brain does not rest. So even if you’re physically unplugged from info-beaming screens for a spell—your attention and what you focus on, is still processing information and if you’re agitated by this and are frustrated by your inability to smooth your mind and be present and still then what are we to do?

Is there really a human solution—an app or a hack or your willpower—that can really solve this problem for you?

I haven’t come across one yet, and I think that’s the point.

What one may call God, The Source, Universal Consciousness, Higher Power, Simulation Overlords—whatever—is the overwhelming and awesome information that exists in all realms and planes and dimensions of existence.

Our ancestors understood this—and found great meaning in the stars and their environment and their community.

While the ideal of the individual in recent centuries has proven immensely valuable in helping us recognize the inherent worth of each human with a functioning nervous system to generate potential in either direction—good or bad, heaven or hell, etc.—what these computers have given us is an immense gift to our consciousness—a model of understanding ourselves—our limitations, our vulnerability and frailty, but also, our strength and resilience in dealing with adversity.

It makes about as much sense to me to say, “I am human” as it does to say “I am the Walrus.”

Because at the end of the day, we have NO CLUE what we are and what we are capable of.

Past events and experiences need not dictate future events.

If we can leverage our minds and leverage the vast potential of nearly 8 billion super computers walking around on this planet to get to work solving real problems that need solving for our continued existence and success on this planet and beyond—then who knows what we will be capable of and what we will become.

This is an attempt to create new maps to explore this vast and treacherous territory we are all immersed in.

For the opportunity to reach and inspire and empower others on a global scale has never existed like this before.

But it all starts with you.

So, if you’re ready for more in your life—more meaning and purpose and challenge, you must first surrender to the unfathomable power of Information and learn to become a vessel for its unique code meant for you to discern and focus on.

That all starts with a simple, yet difficult admission—that you are powerless over Information, and that your life has become unmanageable.",7.760042203959827,9.106522006013233,7.380882107302733,69.57112316540837,62.8544798556825,10.729313378321196,35.60259793768513,10.706319330188203,4.1732264136656205,7588,336,1199,190,108,2391,638,1663,0.083,0.7979999999999999,0.11800000000000001,0.9963,12,0,0,0,0,0,204.0,37,63,7,34,51,57,7,8,95,1,108,18,9,25,17,308,174,128,3,27,39,2,8,1,0,9,6,6,1,6,86,122,3,13,67,12,3,21,22,24,0,17,20,27,116,33,231,125,37,203,3,2,12,0,171,98,1,33,79,853,202,23,0.04076014982531218,0.0,0.0,0.08886915946734401,0.0,0.0,0.10839424048028383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03259587708906563,0.10174712964655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03118140305092766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21771104998871116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06268407848353608,0.03403302255154007,0.0496940180229551,0.22508191559862267,0.06936777074890313,0.0,0.04277526254025984,0.0,0.0,0.04527533773789931,0.0,0.27301084437562784,0.0832413404591934,0.0,0.04155768926848938,0.0,0.12935650173655722,0.03511125992418898,0.0,0.0440472416526522,0.2285798696748796,0.16271831475967186,0.0,0.0,0.10514769853705536,0.08404384939544812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0425856812117898,0.0,0.0,0.14267792715973285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03610139449179737,0.0,0.04545834151423415,0.13460847270745133,0.036869889079611716,0.17171092099336205,0.07789613979186473,0.036632594433357736,0.0398712477886974,0.0,0.0,0.08243822582859159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10401168785723508,0.0,0.04469140043636896,0.0,0.0,0.04259099194116337,0.0,0.04632986492749249,0.06837535964252366,0.0,0.13481462723512885,0.0,0.0,0.03604406587806157,0.0,0.07302617626827758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04593965121058355,0.0,0.08196200772246999,0.04306533617795698,0.040885753654265715,0.040484025749638435,0.08028107414199523,0.0,0.0,0.0460132478102889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10868848194148388,0.1352851999892732,0.0,0.04480142474796731,0.03322496229235746,0.0,0.043159113363978686,0.0,0.0,0.1439504962122829,0.01991335032995373,0.0,0.03599195905631293,0.0,0.06845652029441747,0.0,0.0,0.03465282178472908,0.0,0.0,0.2176617321291711,0.0,0.04094904903602591,0.08879950481428582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12346839573293808,0.0,0.0,0.043321588669215136,0.14981700022276234,0.1511156731274294,0.06287348065762323,0.07873281338771311,0.08669776350607476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04277092064645215,0.0,0.1381006620130013,0.030999930664845438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03891017511534807,0.05651591141477135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11559454928894773,0.0,0.039036956386567186,0.0,0.0,0.11700587581304825,0.0,0.0,0.04566069620286,0.0,0.04077118010072743,0.0463939740336391,0.07833598710414412,0.0,0.04024573061138152,0.0,0.0,0.06961789048228334,0.0,0.0972423214011293,0.0,0.0,0.032480562176386014,0.0742130191135953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03371721713926445,0.0,0.0,0.04154983970020105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057700487675391564,0.0,0.09765332490757883,0.03407731037265342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15366383533519065,0.0,0.030646560005400333,0.0,0.035626167523649874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05415846477221259,0.052234916370690096,0.0,0.0,0.09507028459032617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0452860262163329,0.11069386465953177,0.0,0.07963348739583395,0.1272982603561189,0.19611776629989056,0.1760184123315339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0323535097025258,0.06539066715105789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03677969538159888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14836937261934366,0.0413939106923607,0.041538074909012915,0.028954840970071588,0.0,0.0,0.07874460034048593
addiction,fenwayswimmr,2020/03/28,"Mount Skylight - Recovery at the End of the World Check out my short film, *Mount Skylight,* which is about a group of recovering addicts who discover that everyone in their town has disappeared. They have to figure out what to do, and how to survive. 

What began as a short, we are now developing into a feature. We will be getting more in depth with our characters' battles with addiction, and I welcome your input for how we can better tell their stories. Enjoy!

[https://mtskylightfilm.com/short-film/](https://mtskylightfilm.com/short-film/)",9.244252100840336,12.476171105882358,7.470420168067232,63.13117647058826,61.470588235294116,9.092436974789916,33.31932773109244,9.606745405546679,3.603991596638656,444,18,61,9,7,132,67,85,0.05,0.845,0.10400000000000001,0.7088,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,4,1,3,2,4,4,1,0,5,0,8,2,0,2,0,13,10,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,10,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,10,3,16,7,1,15,0,0,0,0,12,11,0,0,3,50,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7581477053503682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30753635184481704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079829893514644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3322681343720531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18167305172192194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3039288018517612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,theghettofarmer,2020/03/28,"It gets better: from a high functioning addict to the next Hey guys, just hit 6 months clean from opiates and found something I wrote after the first time I ODed in 2016. Thought I would share it with you as I believe writing it was the first step for me to get off opiates. I found writing helped me figure out my story and where I came from. Even more importantly it got me thinking where I was going. Looking back on that time in my life is really interesting now that I’m finally off the junk and taking steps to fix myself from within.

Social Media

Growing up in North America during the 90's and onward was a pretty awesome experience, having the chance to look back and to reflect on my 30+ years living here, I finally realized this. Nintendo and skateboarding filled my time and life was easy. Having divorced parents gave me the chance to let loose as I had two homes and minimal supervision. As the Millennium rolled in and Y2K subsequently not happening, the world was busy changing and evolving, computers were becoming a more prevalent way of life and more people were succumbing to it. 

Walking home I quickly started writing, as I walked through a women’s protest against Trump being dispersed after their rally was finished. Having to walk against the flow of people was daunting, a person not walking in line with the majority. It must have triggered something in me, a desire to create flowed eloquently, like lava from a volcano into my mobile device.

I remember being in the bathroom in elementary when I heard about the twin towers. Everyone was talking about it. Classes stopped and all the teachers and students were all watching the event unfold in front of our eyes. It was an act of horrible human cruelty that I had never seen before being so young and I believe it changed us all in an instant. I also remember people cheering when they caught those responsible, also played out for us on television, I never actually saw them catch him, only what I saw on television to go on. I believed it as my parents did and everyone else did as well, the hive mind alive in us even that young. We were getting used to watching world event's displayed to us on televisions and we accepted this as a convenience to radio and prior technology. It was only a matter of time the majority of the first world would grow to love their screens and use them as tools to gain information and give fake information for years to come.

Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tinder, Snapchat, you name it, they got it. Choose your narcissist drug of choice in this game of information gathering. Hey! I am over here everyone, look at me. This is my butt, these are my boobs, here are those things again from a slightly different angle for the 500th time. This is my car, cat, mat, hat, shat, you get the picture. You name it they got it. I remember deleting Facebook and honestly it was one of the best feelings I have ever had, it was truly a problem for me, checking it constantly and making me think it was important.

I got into heroin a year ago around this time and boy let me tell you, it's been a hell of a year. I OD'd this one night when I was having a fire with the boys at our friends house down by the river, thank god my mate called the ambulance that night. The fentanyl they cut my heroin with made me pass out and stop breathing, the EMT told me later at the hospital, I had been unconscious for at least 15 minutes, any longer and I would have been in a lot more trouble. I remember trying to do a bump of heroin, without any fentanyl cut in it, after a few days of sober recovery from the incident and having a subsequent panic attack. Apparently my body didn't care for the heroin anymore, I had developed a physical reaction to the opiate from overdosing on the fentanyl the week before. I felt mad that this transformation of attitude had taken place and that my body couldn't get high anymore followed quickly by the feeling of shame, how did I turn into this monster so quickly?",5.7681628477905065,7.080082207446807,6.196542553191493,76.39403846153849,67.35106382978725,9.13567921440262,32.546644844517175,9.417114560684844,3.096320294599018,3188,136,555,63,52,1029,366,752,0.08199999999999999,0.8140000000000001,0.10400000000000001,0.9109999999999999,7,0,3,0,1,0,75.0,8,6,8,6,28,25,6,2,55,0,56,12,6,6,7,95,104,42,0,7,4,2,4,1,2,4,5,1,3,6,42,41,0,2,20,4,1,22,7,11,1,6,50,15,79,14,108,43,13,119,1,0,10,3,58,47,3,1,50,412,121,4,0.0,0.0,0.06189652554336985,0.06914582327613636,0.0,0.0,0.0562250469590999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144661073606323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626635640891701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12580695734087838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056464319298204536,0.0,0.0721584451424058,0.0,0.09754435034670833,0.0,0.0,0.07005118289368127,0.10794502043255448,0.21438472387436014,0.06656371596011312,0.05609686367334483,0.0,0.1409082980307718,0.0,0.0,0.06476702436659275,0.07254467263719278,0.06466901802935295,0.0,0.13419671289501292,0.05463755904234882,0.0,0.06854307625661145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040905777800268994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06626870344703402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07355628012806516,0.0,0.0529859098485529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08378712004107786,0.05737420832581154,0.0,0.1818243611695476,0.0,0.06204470189479803,0.0,0.0,0.06414215042099773,0.0,0.06090077483137243,0.13896442865657682,0.0,0.16185533497414945,0.0,0.13909093751119586,0.04900427361197751,0.0,0.1656924190332418,0.06084586526158192,0.07209512663075952,0.0,0.20291649014816035,0.0,0.0,0.06280363850367726,0.05608912302751519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04251441508920584,0.13403021442022922,0.1272468025413629,0.0,0.0,0.07318733349408951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297187439813415,0.13440310179052664,0.03098769046548121,0.0,0.05600803822577501,0.0,0.15979049929406855,0.0,0.0,0.05392417134375618,0.05724619750805481,0.060017055972254624,0.0423386463706564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06404414401807519,0.0,0.05062758122726439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978390840729198,0.0,0.06745633996943748,0.11904566087774053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596083525130986,0.09647962195981127,0.0,0.07441902812250513,0.14085845531597793,0.0,0.0,0.13191885395556838,0.055382835772838535,0.06626870344703402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06452902367191304,0.0,0.06069197803250315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04063356626701108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874059923660047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0646568031087908,0.0,0.09765986302505172,0.0,0.0,0.04489462652356453,0.0,0.0,0.10605720566624208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047689921562352584,0.050980980253953055,0.05543882035930649,0.05839593071120835,0.0,0.0,0.0421387088219547,0.08128413316520018,0.0,0.050354704022358386,0.2219120717410499,0.0,0.0,0.06060812038984919,0.0,0.04306341170197011,0.06899139127487808,0.061959886639392926,0.0,0.30518403664807675,0.10956276040301424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05034615107563077,0.0508780722337897,0.0,0.05702934069535876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061142276353014086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13517217865265618,0.0,0.0,0.16338207020232565
addiction,deviousread,2020/03/28,"Some embarassing things happened... I am a weed addict and last night I definitely took things too far, and it's scared the shit out of me.

I was drinking with my flatmates (lockdown forced us together, so we aren't close or anything) and sometimes mix alcohol and weed, so knew what to expect. 

I decided to go for a smoke. Nothing out of the ordinary, felt a bit spinny but was fine to go back and join the party.

I passed the fuck out. 

I got to my chair, decided to call it after about 10 mins, stood up, got a huge headrush and just totally whited out. The worst part is that my eyes remained open and I was paralyzed, it was like I was stuck inside my body. 

I could hear them shouting and I knew I hit my head on the table, and that I had managed to sit back down...but I just couldn't move. I was absolutely mortified. 

I also knew I convulsed a bit. So my eyes were wide open, I was convulsing and I thwacked my head into the table in front of people I barely knew. 

I think I did the best thing by sitting down and trying to minimise the injury, but the fact it even happened is awful. One of them smokes too so it's not exactly taboo in the house, but we all decided to hang out because we are in lockdown and things are shit. 

They were so good about it and have been caring, but I ruined the party and worried them with my demonic shaking, eyes open, possessed behaviour.

My self destructive relationship with weed aside, I'm really struggling to unpack all of the embarrassment and the sensation of being paralyzed. It's never happened before but I know I just had a white out, and I'm totally fine head injury wise.

I can't really talk to anyone I know about this but any advice or support you can offer would be gladly accepted, but please go gently with me. I feel really messed up about it still.

Has this sort of thing happened to anyone else? 
How have you dealt with embarrassing things in the past?",3.5480158730158733,5.16818607671958,4.6515132275132265,84.15552380952383,73.15343915343917,7.897142857142858,25.56296296296297,8.548686976883017,1.7258734391534394,1499,49,297,27,30,491,189,378,0.136,0.708,0.156,0.8245,0,2,4,0,0,0,46.0,4,2,4,1,20,22,4,5,21,1,29,13,9,1,7,76,57,32,0,4,13,0,2,1,0,1,2,2,0,1,19,35,2,1,13,1,0,9,5,12,0,1,23,9,48,10,45,28,10,42,1,1,5,1,16,22,3,4,10,214,67,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074784913504844,0.0,0.0963417589547298,0.0,0.10536354927821906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884300278694413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06704510411356597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13787391683379405,0.10101789431911004,0.08113180285927006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516204322733912,0.0,0.06010001802946749,0.0,0.08389348333127865,0.0,0.10346493007256116,0.0,0.21527117111996424,0.10951211926880404,0.0,0.0,0.1006721988164375,0.0,0.10051986028360588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871670707941925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658142025817516,0.0,0.0,0.08235993706536207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06511827345416034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04985045540417985,0.0,0.09466259986249168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114557777578963,0.0,0.0,0.16809421907636166,0.08269325988872067,0.1577040896900167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34873396763790143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035477189790527,0.0,0.11111896263844656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11376051100723908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10836581714341924,0.08036463591560143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048166469988580464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047863853102928,0.0,0.0,0.0760392794028658,0.0,0.0,0.09252075849805304,0.0,0.09460050238819197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06680765699427914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676419581914297,0.09411604531080317,0.06835042586837221,0.0,0.0,0.10822305871026497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894793145984064,0.0,0.0,0.10584958992807283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870655961544528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285167448549644,0.0,0.2024040163053204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09750879204152196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07873471591519514,0.0,0.0,0.1030684786816713,0.0,0.0,0.11187963692856026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07924352600997593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39299595871938303,0.06317298420498135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953797259168366,0.06693666085439315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11859255660387237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012371218491008,0.0,0.07003605397888431,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,JackOfTheFrost,2020/03/28,"I lied about being clean I told my girlfriend I got rid of everything, I lied. She broke up with me. Is this it? How do I apologize effectively. I’m truly committed to becoming sober again",0.052857142857142485,2.1210064864864897,2.736293436293437,84.85918918918921,105.75675675675676,7.519691119691122,21.501930501930502,7.957251820313856,2.163906563706564,148,6,29,5,7,51,31,37,0.18600000000000005,0.535,0.27899999999999997,0.4588,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,4,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,8,0,5,3,0,2,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,20,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5836885132694289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4749831750174464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4226910223350202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5050059430987373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Loud_Smile,2020/03/28,"Dear Addiction ​

Oh addiction. How much I want to say to you. You are a true narcissist. You poke and poke and poke at a persons weakest vulnerabilities until they snap and then you turn and blame them for it. It's textbook. You are the true satan. You promise happiness, power, escape, a break from reality but you don't specify the terms of agreement. You go back on your word and take more than you give. And you have no boundaries. You will continue doing this until death if you need to. But you'd prefer to keep them alive so that they can continue to serve you. So that you have a physical body to occupy, a physical presence on this Earth as the evil that you are. You care only for yourself, you will steal, lie, murder, commit any sin to get even a little of what you want. If you had your way, you'd take an entire life in the blink of an eye for a few hours of altered reality. And you have the perfect cover because it is the person that you occupy who makes these choices. Who does your bidding. To the rest of the world it looks like it is them who is damaged. In a way it is. But it is you who is the real culprit. You come in and change minds - literally. You change brains. Thought patterns. You change what people want. You take away their loved ones, their life savings, their morality, themselves and you have them trade it in for a substance. You don't even care what substance it is, whatever works for that person as long as they give in to you.    


You prey on those who have little or nothing left to lose but you also prey on those who have everything. Just manipulate the ego whichever way it was leaning to push a person out of themselves and into your cold, empty void. You are evil incarnate: you are all the deadly sins and more wrapped up in the most appeasing package for an animal. Pleasure. Short sighted pleasure. Physical, pure happiness and pleasure. What's really sad is that you are also a con man. The happiness you promise is actually that of the person but you concentrate it into a short period of time and take that plus interest from the future. You do not even create your own goodness, you steal that goodness from your host and you rob them of it. You are the mirror that shows each person their own unique darkness and light. Captivating, memorizing, like the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

Before you go thinking too highly of yourself and all of the lives you've claimed, know that you are in fact weak. A parasite. You are a clinging emotion that lives nowhere but in imagination and unmanifest potential. Your only accomplishment is to become manifest with the permission of us, the manifest who operate in this world. You are a predator so you will always find some kind of prey but you are not altogether that hard to defeat. All it takes to defeat you is a simple ""no"". You can't actually force yourself upon someone without their permission. You are a psychological and physical phenomenon brought about only with the permission of others. You are not real and you never will be. The craving for you may feel real but with time it dies back into nothingness. And people do defeat you. They do choose their families and loved ones and jobs and lives over you. With the self you can be combated. Centering in the self and the true nature of reality renders you powerless. Once one comes into themselves, you are seen as the pathetic shriveled thing that you are. Nothing but greed and desire and denial.   


I won't live with you. You've taken enough from me. I won't live with you if you inhabit the form of someone I love, I won't live with you if you try to inhabit me. I will always crush you. I am past your excuses, I am out of patience for your games. I have too much to gain and too much to lose to let you take my time, money, and personality. You went too hard on others and turned me off. So thank you for saving me from you. That probably has to be your biggest weakness. Once your morph into your full and final form you turn all of those around you away from you because you finally reveal the true monster that you are. I know how to deal with you. All I have to do is put my foot down and you will not touch me. I will leave behind every single thing I know in this life and start over before I listen to you ever again. This is one soul you won't destroy. This is one person who will stand up to you. I will stand up to you in all of your forms and varieties. I know what you look like even in your sneakiest moments. I am looking for you and I am bigger than you. You should be afraid of me because I am not afraid of you. I am proof that all you have to do is turn around and chase the chaser and \*poof\* you go up in smoke. I will turn an entire family away from you. I will create a safe haven without you. I will debilitate you and suffocate you. And I'll do it with a smile.

Addiction, get lost. You are dead to me. I have out smarted you. You are done here. With the power of God I am extracted from your grip and given back to myself. You have no power over me, I'm not even a victim of you. You aren't even big enough to victimize me. I will stop at nothing to keep you out of my life and my loved ones (if I can help it).   


Bye B\*\*\*\*",2.7827045468643408,4.890066431486883,3.862151334698016,86.87034504683335,76.61904761904762,7.022066455761636,23.677615118995927,7.987972078202968,1.2666669271964102,4094,131,824,68,94,1324,368,1029,0.11,0.747,0.14400000000000002,0.9873,5,0,1,0,0,0,133.0,1,114,15,13,29,58,8,2,54,0,95,17,4,4,18,146,148,72,5,12,24,0,5,3,0,19,9,2,0,11,60,66,0,4,14,2,3,9,21,24,0,6,10,15,171,34,141,112,27,98,5,8,6,4,162,58,0,9,29,644,231,5,0.0,0.0,0.09682178347602824,0.1622422713732818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934404793191302,0.08255675106345019,0.05375095762411336,0.06027994650067942,0.03373558696617636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08832444227231241,0.0,0.0,0.1398268948801132,0.11443798200709933,0.0,0.09072292802174736,0.054788862564016536,0.08442662414316851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055104032908727736,0.0,0.05537966622507392,0.0,0.0,0.10115866127022168,0.0,0.15743813927824882,0.08546692831006025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051144345622255415,0.0,0.0,0.05148595232362703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04341286882868301,0.050766878443497886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05580306041559036,0.0,0.10251800494353487,0.0,0.19659629494905145,0.0448738691458369,0.04179743195282981,0.0,0.04458506087516335,0.0,0.09353325089834837,0.0,0.02508362684831631,0.0,0.0,0.1086877147314958,0.04534141248839852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05183695006600999,0.09517828569619152,0.08458122664045012,0.12482815996976375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15842800908917046,0.08887922258208268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03325163614791946,0.052414268353190005,0.0,0.0,0.048854532870391036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049228935949001455,0.08818890496742028,0.0,0.05165978082928723,0.1090544789731446,0.0,0.0,0.05252840336361317,0.05389994947017961,0.05072821144760172,0.1401602422304071,0.0727088498990648,0.09944181115970692,0.2628321106431137,0.04390209911901149,0.12497632935257676,0.11099879244356586,0.054153707791253766,0.0,0.1790949941468739,0.0,0.03311416283532352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050090600325221814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10940420974907134,0.036784189543738896,0.03826125348087439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142802529023819,0.0,0.0,0.10566319834057393,0.2016966535291828,0.11318885412271555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04735707511344965,0.06878479097151838,0.3465309166492037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05348652127357866,0.0,0.0,0.04987040088784614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693965323935931,0.031780575084192346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03945079408447597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10350529408814063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406650581960028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035113261773118465,0.0,0.0,0.041475057416164716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237972108594458,0.0,0.0,0.04567298495002033,0.0,0.0,0.0659155728968979,0.03178722340336868,0.0,0.03938373121150506,0.08678161808037976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03368102075960409,0.26979985908278953,0.0,0.0,0.05967310454279101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08778141117920253,0.11813112518441544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04598772075571818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956419474326557,0.0,0.03611569211827127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06027994650067942,0.0
addiction,anon2228846,2020/03/28,"Well fuck I absolutely hate this, i dont enjoy my addictions at this point but I can't stop them because im stupid i guess?

Cocaine, I always regret it, always, destroys my nose and teeth, but you know.",0.13739837398373922,2.528288146341467,2.328658536585369,90.53819105691059,94.3658536585366,4.684552845528454,19.028455284552845,6.42735559955562,0.24094796747967484,158,5,32,2,6,53,32,41,0.406,0.514,0.08,-0.9507,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,1,0,1,7,4,0,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,7,6,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,1,9,2,1,6,0,3,0,1,0,1,2,2,1,1,1,19,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30692176472450744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.468530121869745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17162506992610238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3299645117723753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260280556847006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31014967586989456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779639187530667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30411310565264016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547278316598813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661476960282257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23538127960989336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25313959770778394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,leopard_socks,2020/03/28,I'm looking for addiction Hi. Do you guys have any idea of something that I can get addicted to except for drugs and alcohol? I've been addicted to video games but I can't find any good game rn. I've tried with shows but they're short and I don't like watching them more than 1 time; sex doesn't work cuz I don't like it. Since we're under quarantine I can't do much stuff but does anything pop into your mind?,1.384859550561799,3.077096966292139,2.8026825842696645,94.78357443820228,79.33707865168539,6.6971910112359545,21.2373595505618,7.645422480735847,0.5546505617977533,326,9,77,5,8,106,63,89,0.11199999999999999,0.888,0.0,-0.8316,0,1,3,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,10,6,0,1,0,12,13,6,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,4,1,0,2,4,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,2,8,3,10,12,2,4,0,0,2,1,7,3,0,0,3,39,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6216137031704809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031272341813347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585085004687396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15641157527288824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16633170831147567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22042108265046856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17372071461602578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09930383191399962,0.0,0.0,0.15942186156124954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881993756245886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145661144817812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18571739270520496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596110932125064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19191671380484196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13972346291941715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157228029252323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14632532193036416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175848991261814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108314590796072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904518571962742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837336552415058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,CrazyCale22,2020/03/28,"I’m worried I can’t feel okay unless I’m high When I started using substances I was mainly a pills and weed guy. I got addicted to dxm until that gave me a psychotic break. Back then I would drink until I blacked out and smoke weed to get twisted. Next morning I’d take a line of some addy. I never did Xanax because I didn’t see the point and knew how messed up it could be. 

After my break I had to recover. I did stuff once in a while but mainly I just smoke weed everyday and cigarettes. I developed some disorder where now I can’t smoke weed or drink. It’s awful. So I went straight edge for about a year. 

Then I had dental issues. My whole jaw was swollen and I was in terrible pain. Someone offered me a perc and I took that so fast. That’s when I found out opiates still work when nothing else really does. Pretty soon I was taking them as often as I could and smoking cigarettes again. 

When that dried up I started taking scoops and scoops of kratom everyday. I got tired of feeling like shit and needing something to feel okay so I quit cigarettes a few weeks ago. The other day I stopped taking kratom. 

I feel the need in my chest. It’s like someone is pushing me. It’s hard to breathe. It’s not that bad relatively, but I just want to feel okay. I’m afraid I’m never gonna get there. I’m always going to be resisting an urge. I don’t know how to have fun anymore. I don’t play games unless I’m already high. Everything feels like work. Hopefully if I can keep my will then after a few days I’ll get over it. It’s just difficult right now.",0.8024578603371175,3.0556560216718296,2.522169762641898,92.96039258685933,84.75851393188854,5.694152046783626,21.356123151014792,7.054809383877858,0.5770750601995179,1217,40,264,17,36,400,170,323,0.111,0.758,0.13,0.6199,0,0,9,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,1,3,23,16,1,1,12,4,22,12,4,3,2,47,60,32,0,8,10,0,7,3,0,3,6,0,0,1,14,11,2,2,9,4,0,4,8,7,0,0,16,9,37,9,29,37,7,52,0,0,2,0,5,14,1,6,35,162,51,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11495650286649567,0.0,0.0,0.0934754185529133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11636714041528658,0.0,0.08774318163148856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10457846307235327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108484980691373,0.0880466807146804,0.06428158609289766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683871302865208,0.0,0.0,0.13601357074522671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208552960895809,0.0,0.09228035710493304,0.0,0.0,0.2066024964670124,0.0,0.0,0.0880902794817284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947720215252604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3199133490372102,0.15066757602288322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11562092255995765,0.0,0.0,0.16528044767781472,0.0,0.059929893365298664,0.0,0.16867663856008142,0.0,0.0,0.10441247652576573,0.0,0.0,0.09446284731204473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228282779520192,0.0,0.10473604229025536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006282245208417,0.0,0.09372916214315784,0.0,0.0,0.05795278298266453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15455321922751214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15638027333816928,0.16265970113288925,0.0,0.11214769846751102,0.0,0.0,0.10118250439985456,0.0,0.0,0.1123012362324608,0.0,0.0,0.1122066621657338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968471414479957,0.0,0.0,0.10728096858559716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215948230529364,0.0,0.0,0.06755422751126157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005406684111593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08403031740853036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10824332193460738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786955662435079,0.08118087103357602,0.0,0.0,0.14927667408155776,0.0,0.0842128269765396,0.08816125753897543,0.0,0.0,0.12071548110601328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31714231431691303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211997243202703,0.0,0.0,0.1171592762608056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09107528975417566,0.0,0.0,0.06219737902109297,0.0,0.08458595153648199,0.0,0.0,0.09775357879541348,0.0,0.1177316075954912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15353829662433724,0.1070900015637122,0.0,0.0749089398150114,0.0,0.0,0.06790660133780503
addiction,cathexis00,2020/03/28,"Fuck Everything No money. Bills and rent due. Lost all my friends. About to lose my girlfriend. Grandmother just died. Just lost my job. Desperately need to see a dentist. A doctor. A shrink. 

Nothing new. This is always the same. It’s always exactly the fucking same. Another Drink. Chain Smoke. Snort all the Cocaine. Wake up. Pop a Benzo to beat the anxiety. Undoubtedly do something regrettable that I don’t mean through all of that. Too many apologies. Too many empty promises. Too many of the same detrimental actions without any change.",1.99845933014354,3.899574094736842,2.3656698564593306,85.79309808612444,113.31578947368422,5.516746411483254,26.42344497607656,6.782984794422108,2.137736842105263,429,21,70,9,22,131,70,95,0.24100000000000002,0.706,0.053,-0.9538,2,0,5,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,4,6,7,2,0,9,0,3,6,1,0,5,14,10,1,1,1,3,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,0,4,1,1,0,1,1,3,1,3,5,0,0,2,2,4,2,9,8,6,4,0,3,1,2,3,1,2,0,2,42,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27757627838743304,0.0,0.0,0.11342741276349208,0.1749007861725199,0.12759894815472858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17644869423826828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731085447420458,0.0,0.0,0.17072339549964788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16339717516661575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14990603566622218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288666451568441,0.30840155172045075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16551989575261836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18660273881359613,0.3641564009228964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5073167405662156,0.0,0.18169040361104807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236775709499712,0.0,0.16109320284796874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600458433749824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13291530090586526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12840817735781435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16078597742829825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,A5uh,2020/03/28,"Withdrawal induced depression getting difficult I want to keep this as short as possible but I want to get the whole story out there and hopefully I will help ease my mind.

I've been dependant on heroin for multiple years with chunks of sobriety lasting 6-9 months each time. Most recently, I had been actively using for 6 months, unable to stop. Any time I'm active in my addiction, there has to be a serious intervention to be able to get me through the withdrawals (usually incarceration). But this time I saw an opportunity to get on a plane, leave everything behind, and move back with my parents so that's exactly what I did. I told no one, not even my girlfriend of over a year because I knew she'd ask me to stay and my addiction would have capitalized on that. 
So here I am 3 weeks later in the middle of this state wide shut down. She lost it when I left and is currently in a psychiatric hospital. For some reason I still have RLS, major insomnia, and tons of muscle pain. I haven't slept more than an hour or two every 4 or 5 days while the first week I didn't sleep at all. Normally, I can handle all of that. I'm not new to detoxing, but the depression and anxiety are eating me alive. I've never had this issue before. Usually no start to perk up and get excited about life after the 2nd week, but instead it's been a downward spiral. I have no desire to use, but I desperately want to die. The screaming in my head is just getting louder, sleep is impossible, and I can't leave the house to distract myself. I've tried exercising but my muscles hurt so much I can barely get out of bed. Netflix isn't interesting me and I can only refresh my Facebook so many times. 

What I'm asking is, how can I possibly deal with this depression, during the shut down, without moving too much?",4.490000000000002,5.629102824858759,5.89906666666667,77.98971864406779,70.1864406779661,9.618802259887003,29.414237288135595,9.888512548439397,2.853145220338983,1416,54,274,35,25,479,203,354,0.17300000000000001,0.732,0.094,-0.9848,2,0,0,0,0,1,39.0,0,0,0,3,16,14,0,1,16,0,29,12,4,6,4,50,54,26,1,7,12,1,0,0,1,2,7,1,1,0,12,15,1,2,3,2,0,2,11,10,0,3,12,2,35,4,47,37,11,54,0,5,1,0,9,21,0,6,29,190,47,0,0.09354418273196843,0.0,0.0,0.20395393363562053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361325202444737,0.0,0.0715610437482683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17490236663587658,0.0,0.0,0.07192970238308047,0.0,0.05702366554769455,0.0,0.07959920965029216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06032825914496564,0.09643994488537948,0.24170840254623216,0.0,0.09708409295398668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09571905226562433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061785050458266176,0.0,0.07881500847920217,0.0,0.08407147967577079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956863404474446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34211082208584925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09600331898037116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06270069385849401,0.0,0.0,0.09291048042463586,0.09212217695031484,0.10793742739030428,0.10014098234137772,0.0,0.0,0.09763582323050947,0.0,0.0831463677077439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625099410230746,0.0,0.198099565598878,0.1016360282448684,0.0,0.06607302269373436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10211452568580444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09483911895016787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944529581103463,0.0,0.14933214838619294,0.19884532437099287,0.13753147527922369,0.0,0.07214704053883522,0.09034555459323312,0.0,0.0,0.09165343776674167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06338795916165926,0.07114456622997567,0.09953760578208423,0.0,0.10386974471618526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21091402151712949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617899961009704,0.09236359519352708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18722347844400636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06621105400695347,0.09970565234272244,0.0747045051656969,0.078207125395155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21818546085360466,0.0,0.0,0.08938547534827837,0.0,0.06351035967358416,0.0,0.09137907402776264,0.0,0.0,0.16158427874184944,0.2060514029133436,0.0,0.16552434786455286,0.0,0.22510650266839524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443873936488733,0.0,0.09017325402167227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06645110349907106,0.0,0.0,0.1204787734257684
addiction,bdhinds,2020/03/28,"boredom giving me bad thoughts im 4 years sober and i haven’t had urges in a long
time. lately ive been stuck inside daydreaming about getting high again. i hate being thrown off from my routine. i keep rationalizing in my head that getting high right now is okay and i will stop when i get back on my routine but deep down i know thats not true. i want a line of coke so bad i literally looked up pictures and started drooling thinking about the drip. i hope writing this out will help me hold myself accountable.",2.468543689320392,4.731876679611653,3.205640776699031,90.42516019417478,78.32038834951456,5.673398058252428,24.863106796116504,6.742157984588678,0.8206551456310685,410,15,84,4,10,129,79,103,0.177,0.721,0.10099999999999999,-0.7078,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,7,6,1,0,3,1,8,3,2,0,1,16,22,6,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,4,1,3,3,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,4,2,16,3,11,15,0,21,0,0,1,0,3,11,0,1,10,50,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576892398659573,0.3424564314463284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3214280870111134,0.1967256577747886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024681085487115,0.2104650776114532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13745677273843027,0.43334385960591787,0.0,0.2036847442481284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22151510009852746,0.0,0.0,0.1822791849133744,0.0,0.0,0.11270330176863637,0.0,0.2313323931405461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18148402786849294,0.17221050241538494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751320669746479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451524256485211,0.0,0.0,0.17145103826488886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13140313228213735,0.0,0.1628058410915217,0.1195802927439245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12095795259960783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13206092596012972
addiction,upgraded,2020/03/28,"Alcohol and coke problem I’m 34 and have been doing drugs recreationally and drinking excessively since I was 15. Ive tried to pretend it wasnt a problem for years despite blackouts, binges and drinking twice as much as everyone else at every social occasion. My excuse: I drink every other day not daily and I have a good well paid job. The thing is Im losing control, in the past 3 months I have been arrested twice and done coke every weekend, even if I had to do it alone. This evening I have had 10 beers and half a gram of coke. I dont even feel good. The fucked up thing is I am a health professional and I know the people who work at the local addiction service. I can’t tell anyone and the few friends I have are the same as me and dont want me to get sober. Im out of ideas",3.0945528455284546,4.119567073170734,4.489999999999998,87.21333333333334,73.39024390243901,7.417886178861789,25.861788617886177,7.793537801064563,1.2638471544715442,616,20,134,8,12,205,101,164,0.126,0.797,0.077,-0.7797,1,1,6,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,4,8,1,0,11,0,22,12,0,1,0,21,29,14,0,4,2,0,1,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,7,11,8,1,3,6,1,0,5,4,1,3,8,1,15,4,14,21,3,11,0,1,0,1,5,6,1,1,5,90,22,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13904924654335607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13631306093136836,0.0,0.13210420646518073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918651542662351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430591167679486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225974199023474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13052879752931684,0.2989772770867399,0.3748538023257047,0.14791848365871385,0.0,0.10655236271368826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527383873619401,0.0,0.3224012604215033,0.12188029696257956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06449353890901205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854546522554156,0.11791869941822818,0.06664005122192151,0.0,0.0,0.2139671917099107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355805820129712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14398937668324538,0.2755535974642667,0.0,0.12657453067993232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700986078028887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426967675488479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10180986631470516,0.0,0.0937645461045048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12176171272661393,0.08842769468099566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24409786207746295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10551137575406556,0.0,0.0,0.13002202201390636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11148505918324172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694782254194334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659865002738126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07523279217965095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468352647831954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09285853313560884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08213856124614105
addiction,Isabella64,2020/03/29,Almost there I want to put it out there that I will be 16 months clean and sober in a few days! What what! Grateful!,-0.4957333333333303,1.5809919599999986,0.4040000000000017,107.00866666666668,89.4,3.333333333333334,12.333333333333336,3.1291,-1.9712666666666667,89,1,23,0,3,27,22,25,0.0,0.7140000000000001,0.28600000000000003,0.7648,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,16,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5419296775584836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3490266860728257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4319775310449833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5440515187285557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31921145755096525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,BLACKLABELSLUSHIE,2020/03/29,"I hope you're OK Becky If you're out there, I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and hope you're safe. Say hi to Senor Perro.  And stay clean. You can do it.",-2.3580000000000005,-0.6836907999999973,-0.0799999999999983,109.885,94.5,3.2,10.5,3.1291,-2.31965,128,1,38,0,5,42,28,40,0.0,0.642,0.358,0.9278,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,3,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,11,8,3,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,4,4,8,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,3,0,18,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7631753437875242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21114095066562286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3055235601854088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40949575955502215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461736420770236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266054028734383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,oleada87,2020/03/29,"My boyfriend relapsed and I’m struggling My boyfriend (31) has had a long history with opioids addiction (from Xanax to heroin), as well as alcohol addiction. Being quarantined and out of a job, he’s started taking multiple pills of Xanax and mixing it up with copious amount of alcohol and weed (at least that’s what he tells me he’s taking ). This is the first time I’ve seen him relapse. 
He barely sleeps at night and it’s affecting my sleep schedule. I wake up to find him dosing off standing up, sometimes even on his knees just...falling asleep. It’s awful. His pupils are tiny and sometimes he gets a lazy eye. It’s so scary I’ve gotten nightmares. I’m so stressed, I barely eat. Some days he constantly throws up and all I can do it make sure he hydrates.
I’ve done everything ...Ive talked to him to tell him he has a problem and should seek help. I’ve yelled at him for going back to his old way. I’ve cried to him begging him to stop. Sometimes he agrees he has an addition and will do better. But he doesn’t. Sometimes he outright disagrees with me and gets irritated. I’ve tried being nice/supportive and at the same time... I’ve lost it too.
It’s been a week.
Today, he agrees he needs to stop and told me he needs more Xanax to help him “get off it”. Makes no sense and I know it’s his addiction speaking. 
One step im going to take is not let him use my car anymore...he uses it to get more stuff. But I know it’ll be a fight. This week, I’m going to try not to lose it and be nice. If by week 3 he’s the same, I’m going to push him to go to rehab. It’ll be a battle. 
Thanks for reading, I subscribed to this sub and have been reading stories non-stop. I just need to vent and tell my story to someone...I have no friends to talk about this to... I feel alone.",0.988931303270924,2.9769489946091703,2.569597144314127,94.49907700152988,81.96495956873316,5.628061484665259,21.886865301959638,6.766488616294105,0.3897399431776791,1371,44,310,15,37,448,183,371,0.12,0.8059999999999999,0.07400000000000001,-0.9439,1,2,3,0,1,0,61.0,0,0,0,4,9,13,2,2,11,1,27,18,6,5,2,48,59,23,0,6,6,0,1,0,1,4,11,2,0,0,20,21,3,2,4,2,0,9,5,7,1,2,8,5,31,6,46,41,8,40,0,2,2,0,41,12,0,2,17,171,51,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2923138872423842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19104119206347547,0.0,0.09257126539185503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06872810455113426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904980858099431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658859164014576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09818030680743786,0.057643042644903435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09146730661109513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145858822842494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0590349920395565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08032945019224869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045193477680664826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169217815651728,0.07602702664462127,0.0,0.0,0.06905516984398131,0.0,0.18679053551613556,0.0,0.25398505311144925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981976013149433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09654630190473296,0.0,0.08869637678426127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824239515387627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139763981105144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909894963226016,0.0,0.09999394184927764,0.09756939852394386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11932438542973672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19882357434182932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08387756541596901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937898227764393,0.0,0.060566555125498536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552508877873277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788094199627994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17889014377395002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3535984882037898,0.0,0.0632639937531716,0.0,0.0,0.2241783566200134,0.1023850863582758,0.09343992854455696,0.10231931397975093,0.0,0.1014279575473611,0.08424008453294171,0.0,0.20160908777532496,0.14368135637006618,0.2343675484004827,0.08228957632124217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423700271427257,0.0,0.08472228419069733,0.08540691941656575,0.0,0.12136701515820453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15439214726685274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07094609831475326,0.21508699101989925,0.0,0.08036382375527583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,NatureBoy97,2020/03/29,"How can I get over a research Addiction? I research everything, even stuff I already know, it's become obessive for me I feel like I can't control it and it easily takes up the majority of my day... What is the key to overcoming addictions?",1.4268794326241119,4.066603638297874,3.784148936170212,81.88416666666669,87.08510638297872,8.239716312056737,29.109929078014183,8.841846274778883,3.1598397163120566,189,10,36,6,6,65,39,47,0.0,0.8759999999999999,0.124,0.644,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,0,3,2,0,2,0,5,7,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,7,1,5,7,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,26,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5919877208561108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2996260173162681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2998694508191423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3045296633690845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17510615263861554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17933457105620054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440221806713327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13728727072529112,0.19397196485762494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141856547307141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492187699682335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13264960473459186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108222708157273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20414716779608574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,sableram,2020/03/29,"My mother, who struggled her whole life, passed a few days ago. Looking for good charities. We want to give people a charity to donate to, but we want to make sure it's a good one that isn't very wasteful with donations. General addiction charities would be preferred, thanks y'all.",5.190283018867923,6.927825339622648,5.6076886792452845,78.45794811320756,69.18867924528303,9.828301886792454,32.117924528301884,10.125756701596842,3.510211320754717,225,10,40,6,4,72,44,53,0.027000000000000003,0.595,0.37799999999999995,0.9628,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,2,1,0,0,0,5,0,1,3,0,3,2,0,1,1,11,9,1,0,4,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,1,0,1,0,1,5,4,6,7,2,3,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,0,2,24,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781013104197638,0.0,0.0,0.22613454431360905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16452115067838907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447192622943317,0.0,0.4279387186956763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18018769108273894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142233381609773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17028408194746478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17286525631995106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768571810312963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26669037334059204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404327565770804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348657385871856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21048774042593293,0.30093421736269577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.284814808503313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18121875496598375,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Alarmed_Anywhere,2020/03/29,"Relationships & addiction I (27F) have a current bf (30M) who’s an addict. We’ve been together less than a year, but we’re really compatible with each other, and we have similar personalities. However, he relapsed in September, got it together and then relapsed again last night. I have struggled with pills and coke in the past (5ish years ago), but managed to stop. He has multiple addictions, but this time it was crack, meth, and IV opioids. I am stable in my job, continuing my education, and just generally have my shit together. He just recently got a job after months of unemployment due to his last relapse. During this time, I supported us financially, and he incurred debt (~$1000) under one of my accounts that I had to pay back on my own to keep my credit score as high as it is. He has paid me back a portion ($400), but keeps asking to borrow $20 here, $30 there, which adds up to around $800. He’s been through a lot personally, custody and exgf issues, which I was there for him during, always hoping it will get better and the relationship won’t be so one-sided. This time, I did my best to comfort him when he was coming down, but I honestly don’t know if I can keep doing this, because seeing him like this is breaking my heart. I keep waiting and waiting for it to get better, and it hasn’t, and I’m starting to lose hope. I’m not sure if it’s worth staying anymore. 

I know that it’s my relationship and you can’t tell me whether to stay or leave, but I guess I’m just looking for perspective from other people’s situations. Did it get better, did leaving help either person in your relationship, or did staying help either person?",6.453611111111113,6.129305287037043,7.454691358024688,73.67611111111111,65.57407407407408,10.533333333333337,33.4320987654321,10.125756701596842,3.2355876543209874,1299,50,249,27,18,440,183,324,0.078,0.765,0.157,0.9837,7,0,2,0,0,0,60.0,2,2,0,5,12,15,1,1,8,0,27,8,2,0,1,51,53,28,0,4,17,0,0,1,2,2,5,0,0,4,21,19,1,7,2,0,7,1,5,3,0,1,13,2,31,12,32,37,8,38,0,1,2,0,30,10,1,8,24,163,52,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842287991023956,0.0,0.0,0.07703901127351752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07231471186252174,0.09416516427432993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618973330445777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736685990018267,0.08124757838355293,0.0,0.0,0.13365431800340655,0.0,0.052978525395819036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09120495475955166,0.2305901273546383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07486385080448096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13621808245485892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13901709840703524,0.0,0.09573934907442813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029868168713498,0.11650567426744453,0.09182344665023748,0.0,0.17263920863162835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09070974113778928,0.17248626054649402,0.3089925497329177,0.0,0.0,0.09552511602835848,0.14168381456035198,0.0,0.1840467947154826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04245903141436338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729811281762708,0.09722821682354203,0.0,0.07388637393382141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06936941829066612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08155760205140447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177826985333417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296385691943894,0.06025130925763032,0.3035400868631934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05567571641166669,0.0,0.08581151398478026,0.3732281867464276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06925470535859149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921017555094231,0.0,0.09768863020207456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06151417963928396,0.2778982226420124,0.0,0.07265927469036118,0.0,0.09085548048701204,0.0,0.0,0.09862256918772608,0.08191009427899193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07596173125045086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520308787738722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454004803647192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11193225998871714
addiction,z_society,2020/03/29,"Are my headaches normal? I'm on day 7 of no nic, and 8 for weed. I've smoked weed heavily almost every day for the past 2-3 years with random breaks, and the nicotine was on/off for about a year. At my worst I went through two puff bars every three days, which lasted a few weeks.

I've been getting mild headaches and a lot of dizziness, especially after jogging. I also have less strength when doing pushups or whatever. I'm kind of paranoid that I have corona but I don't have a cough (aside from the occasional semi-wheezy smoking cough that I'm familiar with), and the dizziness has been going on for about three days.

Is this a normal symptom of withdrawal? I read online that nicotine gets out of your system by day 3, so is it the weed? I thought weed addiction is only psychological?",4.50090909090909,5.632317435897438,5.144755244755249,83.43660839160842,70.15384615384616,7.724009324009327,28.925407925407924,8.00094639256281,1.822482051282052,624,23,123,8,11,201,99,156,0.049,0.929,0.022000000000000002,-0.5651,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,1,5,3,0,0,10,0,13,5,0,0,0,15,21,9,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,6,7,1,0,1,3,0,3,2,1,0,3,5,0,9,2,21,16,4,21,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,4,12,76,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19237885036507327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17670967545460034,0.0,0.0,0.1411233637995629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5690442411162079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2973679487806519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843970645082999,0.0,0.10029222967496704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18376682898843905,0.0,0.14384697880653124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500288751870466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3458071668492321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342137375540587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684610229478985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765182162814871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18342037817509088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14009783398787132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17238599810771846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14155395917464786,0.0,0.0,0.16358988520704404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272823819760396
addiction,horroraven,2020/03/29,"Does the feeling of emptiness and that nothing matters ever go away? Been clean for 4 months and stopped alcohol for about a month now. Some days are better than others but even on my best days of ""productivity"" I feel like am I being productive or am I just doing what other people want me to do? If that makes sense

I feel like everything I do is dictated by other peoples expectations and wants for me, not what I actually want to do. The thing is I don't actually know what I want to do other than getting completely smashed. So I just do what other people think is best for me. Go with the flow. 

The past two weeks especially I feel like I'm in a constant state of ""it's 9am and I've been awake for over 24 hours and I just ran out of coke"" feeling where I just don't know what to do with myself and nothing matters cause I don't have any more

This turned into a bit of a rant so thanks for reading",3.0971048632218867,4.232983984042555,4.585440729483285,86.10500000000002,73.52127659574468,7.499088145896658,25.662613981762924,7.957251820313856,1.3076507598784195,711,23,154,10,14,238,105,188,0.045,0.757,0.198,0.9839,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,11,7,0,0,8,0,20,2,0,2,1,38,40,11,0,6,8,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,15,10,2,1,8,1,0,4,4,0,0,1,3,5,18,7,27,36,5,23,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,3,14,113,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.2498384770831404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13680369857107896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705115076941453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12026955511432358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686770748192788,0.11321439181161168,0.13975370328107709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315014732435439,0.0,0.0,0.13421598956159794,0.13833327182917862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16511164624837738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11202236361049553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454935994580821,0.11579232199332253,0.0,0.0,0.11504708248291873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3236283668053227,0.2743509861966899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06687991171084548,0.0,0.1455020009961974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12606400804389953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14070183365549935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187617576097909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08544763084960819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043526301546599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456579851768942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12219997505401765,0.2662379292010422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12804458413415146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10702204410803803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11785435667562814,0.0,0.0,0.08504411795255254,0.08202360254772048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13923805881385964,0.12504711356846188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020143236072597,0.0,0.10268185469400404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,DogLover1237212244,2020/03/29,Please Join Me For an AA Meeting via ZOOM at 8:20am (Eastern Time) Plz plz plz!  I'm in Sobriety court for a DUI and want to continue my AA session but due to corona all meetings are closed. Please comment below if you'd like to join! thank you so much,0.7469871794871779,3.0608684423076937,2.0861538461538487,95.54217948717951,85.73076923076924,5.005128205128205,22.128205128205128,6.42735559955562,0.36022051282051315,197,7,43,2,6,63,43,52,0.0,0.653,0.34700000000000003,0.9401,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,6,5,4,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,2,8,4,2,7,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,4,21,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18290694482251715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752180757047275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8219306514567291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34468594193402896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21830850923748327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22082359648496647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,diztheray,2020/03/29,"Smokin’ snd drinkin’ Pretty classic, boyfriend says he want to quit drinking so much and wants to stop smoking with by which I stroke my shoulders, and OK. But by next time week, he’s at it all again. If I try to talk to him he pivots and try’s to live the conversation to go smoke. At this what am I to do or believe? Should I just stop calling him out because he want stop till he really wants to or should I just block my ears to his words?",5.241290322580646,4.294384096774195,5.2403440860215085,90.62051612903228,68.24731182795699,8.300215053763441,29.352688172043013,6.742157984588678,1.1624468817204296,343,10,82,2,5,107,62,93,0.102,0.8079999999999999,0.09,-0.2794,0,0,3,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,1,1,4,4,2,0,1,23,9,9,0,7,6,0,1,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,4,5,1,4,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,10,1,16,7,2,12,0,0,0,0,12,3,0,3,8,48,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12202336738021438,0.0,0.0,0.22552598833175266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043986192338416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19609295492204049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11376270934887354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17675608523478134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14714990323011667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212885845585235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20364751149274976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129082144104973,0.0,0.0,0.12823570205284693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15918529675951087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5020598045838522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16089116449312554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167222607975487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718081300619803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4722679754297984,0.0,0.16056639648911133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,keeshneesh,2020/03/29,"I need support to take the big leap     During this lock down I have had a lot of time to think. I lost my job (I was a server at a restaurant in Ohio). I have been taking suboxone for close to 3-4 years. While it has really helped me, and brought my life back to something that is somewhat normal, I hate needing it everyday, and I feel like it’s holding me back in life in so many ways. 

    I’ve heard about vivitrol, and I think I need to take this time I don’t have to work to stop taking suboxone long enough that they will give me the vivitrol shot. That week is gonna suck, but I think it will help me feel less like I’m still a drug addict, and I’ll be able to apply to jobs that drug test or even join the military (which I have considered often, as a way to go back to school for free and give me structure and a new social group and way of life that will benefit me). 

    I have a criminology degree (I graduated in December 2018) but I haven’t even tried to apply anywhere in related fields because I still feel like I’m not good enough, and I know that drug tests will be required, and often suboxone is one of the drugs they test for. I also want to go back to school for something different, I feel like criminology was a poor choice I made because I didn’t know what I was doing when I started college at 18. It’s not the degree that I would choose now, and most of the jobs i could get with that degree don’t appeal to me. 

   I just need some support or guidance on how to do this. I don’t have health insurance, but I applied to Medicaid and food stamps since I got laid off, I’ll check tomorrow to see where I’m at with that. 

  Reddit help me if you cared enough to read this, any support, suggestions, or guidance would be greatly appreciated.",5.343181818181815,4.663028407713497,6.11659917355372,83.53671694214876,67.95316804407713,9.57404958677686,29.444765840220384,8.982922981607832,2.0055202203856743,1364,41,304,21,20,450,175,363,0.040999999999999995,0.821,0.13699999999999998,0.9884,4,0,6,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,2,3,18,15,2,0,14,0,32,10,0,2,0,54,72,24,0,10,10,0,4,4,0,7,9,1,0,0,20,14,1,3,10,1,3,3,7,3,0,1,11,6,42,13,42,50,8,39,0,1,1,0,12,14,1,10,23,197,62,13,0.07958361415317862,0.0,0.0,0.08675788640961205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06364298748552909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0541195866625751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24477954752184686,0.0,0.09702686503875413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114079859901055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0635410401236915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08314793828124477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3691669051696256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466934423837943,0.0,0.1051284531544671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16095946614359594,0.1705636495577664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096232822132336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041579153702494084,0.15268770886645086,0.09045840385671854,0.06675095973268723,0.06365028633980763,0.08774121555871821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07857234272973533,0.0,0.08459366034725546,0.0,0.0,0.16002965704886096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23692337128174595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747414609454493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16863678073041793,0.15552213580647428,0.0,0.0,0.07042899417527461,0.0,0.0,0.08687491594104924,0.06765914281605856,0.0,0.07530393996302623,0.0,0.08068529360915767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360409659770743,0.0,0.07686235046602881,0.0,0.0,0.0779750446688974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05392791659031666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07960515060940884,0.0,0.05098330108143261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610857325787979,0.06341783675482437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06583238802188605,0.0,0.0,0.08112547242831182,0.0,0.12253470855744128,0.0,0.0,0.0563296917122339,0.0,0.12711115413014748,0.06653546495040613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709316266975938,0.0,0.0,0.23934789416082186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15298189951157942,0.0,0.0,0.0928116908143805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05403205000437506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04694047756788782,0.1895093058074067,0.06383717486407528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05793781893978399,0.0,0.0,0.1130678322579584,0.0,0.0,0.051249238263363785
addiction,hannahalexish,2020/03/29,Tattoo ideas Looking for a tattoo idea to celebrate my sobriety,6.763636363636363,9.839634454545457,8.009090909090908,57.23363636363638,68.0909090909091,11.672727272727276,38.27272727272727,11.20814326018867,6.236018181818182,53,3,6,2,1,18,10,11,0.0,0.7090000000000001,0.29100000000000004,0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9372689677478484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34860705973471384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Br0kenFr0mA2Z,2020/03/29,"911 HELP ME PLEASE Pray for me because right now I'm sitting outside fighting to not take my lifeI am trying so fucking hard but it's hard when you feel like you are trash that people throw away..my cousins boyfriend told me to get out, like it was nothing..I have nothing and no one and I'm sitting here really just wanting to end it because I feel like what the point in living and fighting if you dont feel you have anything to fight for
I came back..I fucked up but I came back because  I wanted to fight but right now I just wana give up and not live anymore..but to throw me out in the middle of a pandemic with no place to go, quarantine  rules and turn your back on me with no fucks If I live or die is not the help I need.  You told me as long as I fought you would be there and support me though it..well I'm fighting but I'm almost out of light and I'm almost ready to give in. I can't do it on my own and out here with all this pandemic going on. Please someone help me",1.3807511737089229,2.7890322629108013,2.6531690140845083,97.11712441314556,78.48356807511738,5.484507042253521,22.161971830985927,5.82211442006289,-0.01825070422535191,764,22,184,4,18,246,108,213,0.18,0.687,0.133,-0.9369,0,1,0,0,8,1,15.0,0,7,0,0,12,13,9,0,4,0,11,3,0,0,1,39,38,20,1,6,12,1,5,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,17,0,0,3,0,0,6,8,9,0,1,6,6,26,4,29,30,2,32,1,0,0,3,21,17,3,5,10,113,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22327115594324656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09174220752608084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10474331549018888,0.2571739935376685,0.0,0.2038796673584808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550170338678737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11570326335652925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306589511839608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09874213695452552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691096708238878,0.15928903411966902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.309196747145954,0.058246026482979586,0.2138920959742215,0.12671837008386355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997363481343068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22417704095720886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16339702051818242,0.0,0.2953284492548577,0.09866023462754107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266431090529908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106972341502422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07554475207375573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07728928402329631,0.0,0.11647752741162767,0.2447529072791933,0.1053888451103029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141979671415771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904142311746068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446041709754653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265112385934092,0.0,0.0,0.08382243588750812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953291118179824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130563489813335,0.0,0.07569062703880211,0.12126307367411765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13151284026153234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07919535831816485,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,tuvo,2020/03/29,"What’s the end goal for a person with multiple addictions/addictive personality? Throughout my adolescent life I’ve always been addicted to at least a number of destructive habits. To name a few it’s been video games, smoking cigarettes, party drugs, alcohol and gambling (the last two being the worst, but I’ve got many more bad habits). My only question is, how does a person of this nature get free from these addictive traits and simply become what one would imagine as “normal”. 

Because I’ve tried many times at quitting one or more of these habits and simply find another addiction taking it’s place and becoming more dominant. Then theres the argument thinking I can take things in moderation, leading to hard relapses and the eventual full circle (myself simply taking part in all my addictions, to a certain degree). 

I’ve read several books on battling addiction but I can’t imagine a person with a dominant addictive personality just somehow cutting all ties and becoming totally sober. I truly believe there’s people like myself that just are consumed and addicted by several different things/habits. 

So back to my title, is the end goal just simply becoming sober from all these habits? Because moderation simply doesn’t work and if I dedicate myself to being completely sober, what else is there left to enjoy? I just don’t see how complete sobriety beats this, and from my experience moderation does not work either. 

Thank you",7.773344140805932,9.349596047244098,7.937058823529411,64.76970588235297,62.93700787401575,11.645761926817972,36.20101899027328,11.442366930564873,4.921629272811488,1172,54,171,36,17,381,144,254,0.08800000000000001,0.8270000000000001,0.085,0.3189,1,0,3,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,0,7,12,10,3,0,13,0,13,10,0,3,5,38,21,18,0,3,10,0,1,1,0,1,10,0,0,5,12,11,1,0,5,4,2,1,4,5,0,3,3,2,14,6,23,15,13,15,0,0,1,0,9,8,0,4,7,118,26,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6650583305519936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08149642931288835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06345262385996524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996298431760775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058637564536336124,0.06367210317231223,0.0929721313413333,0.33688313003673903,0.0,0.08591646115915796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15990976881788058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07967320221628615,0.0,0.0,0.1334674827187082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843487311631447,0.0,0.0637036321881835,0.0,0.13508360659209495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07459479095534775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06969827554610762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03984156900818901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06099035333290876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06831203755986727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0621603098511577,0.0,0.0,0.0828543559611225,0.0,0.05386316089118129,0.037255724048460566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15462694196598914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471648281542939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334855902428253,0.0579975164015294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08257979915565374,0.0,0.05286757790949926,0.3329269809365964,0.07967320221628615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854262225797087,0.08110958949421318,0.07627846694777236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06076761777058106,0.0,0.0,0.17229928506363795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17200919438629225,0.0,0.0,0.07020796475791882,0.0,0.0,0.05066231410107756,0.04886293862549063,0.0,0.0,0.04446655421134794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05177406121120978,0.0,0.0744928196982774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103321765468743,0.0,0.0,0.05417137484019515,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,CrownonTHErocksJ,2020/03/30,"Question about suboxone prescription Let's say you have an appointment with a suboxone Dr. You have done opioids for many years. Suppose your friends got you some suboxone to convince you to make the trip and move away from your bad habits. How should that be handled? Like what should be said at your appointment? Is it okay to say you have done them before on your own? Basically I am not going to piss positive for opiates, but I sure could if they need me to. Looking for someone in the know. I can't imagine the counselors and Dr. are blind to the fact that most dope users have, at some point, also tried suboxone. Just trying to do it right. How should this be handled?",4.040380549682877,6.152838689922483,3.893713883016208,88.03414376321354,72.95348837209302,7.481606765327696,28.006342494714588,8.296473431620573,1.885567441860465,537,21,105,9,11,163,88,129,0.043,0.848,0.109,0.6993,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,9,2,0,5,7,1,0,6,1,19,4,1,3,2,23,26,7,0,6,4,0,0,1,1,3,3,3,0,0,6,3,0,0,3,0,0,3,2,2,0,0,4,5,15,5,18,14,4,11,0,0,2,0,16,7,1,5,2,77,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16009722846680832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1880913894943175,0.0,0.16715588207557988,0.0,0.0,0.1703526463097648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15984077460245427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4097414613224615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15467147362307634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377639800680933,0.0,0.1601155891124528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100228705905862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204714689243192,0.0,0.09780599517549547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16811480696886222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13363285164082406,0.20296803143934689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127774092339739,0.0,0.14844331618683926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892505905625552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22426612089524087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17096688773651972,0.19043290605210966,0.3184089019082683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16962601404148347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188683020290598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718408357573516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12892011093704925
addiction,an-algia,2020/03/30,"Since i cant share this with anyone irl lol Been getting fucked up on whatever i could get my hands on since like 8th grade. People have never liked me, no social skills and am too depressed to have any real personality, any friend groups ive had were due to a shared love of substance abuse. But despite all that and being up for 3 days straight on the regular im somehow getting close to finishing pharm school. Psychology+drugs are the only thing i can see myself making a career out of. Im surrounded by stuck up bitches who at 15 were playing softball and going to church ice cream socials while i was fucking guys old enough to be my dad and smoking crack out of a tinny in a strangers apt. Obviously ive had to clean up my act a bit, been sticking to weed, addy and rc benzos since ive been here (not for fun anymore, necessary to function) but holy fuck. I cant even see a sober future for myself cause theres no sober past to compare it to. Im gonna die from the heart and nerve damage. I cant talk to anyone at school or reach out for help bc if they knew 1% of my story id get kicked out of the program. I dont even need to say anything for them all to avoid me, its like they just KNOW im different. 4 years of thats been incredibly isolating. For fucks sake how does someone like me even get here, it feels like i should be working at a local dollar store or something but also know im too smart for that. Idk where i belong, it feels like i dont fit in anywhere",4.039545454545454,4.4610182792207835,5.012753246753245,86.55270129870131,70.75324675324677,7.588571428571429,26.763636363636365,7.365786028017652,1.1893605194805192,1162,35,252,11,20,381,185,308,0.126,0.7440000000000001,0.13,-0.5566,1,1,2,0,1,0,24.0,0,0,3,2,13,21,5,1,11,1,27,7,2,3,4,38,49,15,1,4,8,1,3,6,1,2,0,1,1,2,10,12,0,1,5,1,2,2,9,8,0,0,11,7,25,13,45,32,4,33,1,2,3,5,17,22,5,4,15,148,35,6,0.0,0.1076824403691535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267974121337636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12360819969694906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013230738843066,0.1270961308086312,0.0,0.07478962276361778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09922156979471554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336269665283996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725633182079757,0.0,0.0,0.058612531716617476,0.0,0.07827808289296663,0.0,0.09432303464568713,0.09495422630939086,0.0,0.0,0.07953302494741675,0.0,0.21303027108782774,0.0,0.1053963531267768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390725912297307,0.0,0.18008367625341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09190715903947573,0.1298548083095162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07021659764926765,0.3360824307206636,0.2374151693975391,0.0,0.05165135738148901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998924972627106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769773938637334,0.06091749471178937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.490850493213305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09989471821162026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26640740079815306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08202617692492686,0.0,0.06066564154715647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06738918536339085,0.07009518858618433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09536725873484102,0.0,0.0,0.06912122450938356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675886984796945,0.0630073828791307,0.07935622772268539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344566024137164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07227444476194071,0.0,0.18395851325578055,0.14484524205281232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255400530644722,0.0,0.0,0.185289175598278,0.0770055479514282,0.06996678863980334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304895500751052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06037915766774363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661644880823424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05852618680433368
addiction,Dabmonkey,2020/03/30,"Is there an online group therapy thing I can join? I’ve been going crazy with so much time from home, losing my mental and I need a support group. I don’t have my first therapist appointment until Thursday but I need help already.",2.328666666666667,4.95377786666667,3.391111111111112,86.78000000000004,81.44444444444446,6.266666666666668,22.333333333333336,7.554174236665415,1.1784666666666666,184,6,34,3,5,59,38,45,0.08,0.759,0.161,0.5423,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,5,9,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,6,1,3,8,1,5,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,23,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.300882056201027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23192057655500986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15495636894838222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18275519298073933,0.0,0.27349563560775786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050316929280211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747725525903068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20043311930730204,0.4043411054301891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3094061603005654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3118052558842087,0.316573978813937,0.1811401579101289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15898757872553548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,APeculiarMom,2020/03/30,"Husband acting weird Bear with me, for this long. But I think my husband is using meth again. Here’s how it started. 

Late November 2019-January 26th 2020
-I noticed my husband had been acting different. He was here, but he didn’t seem really “here”, if you know what I mean. He wasn’t eating, he couldn’t perform during sex. He kept “falling asleep” at his mom’s house. I kept asking him what was wrong because we kept getting into arguments and that wasn’t normal for us. I kept begging him to tell me what was wrong because I knew he wasn’t being normal. He kept telling me I was manifesting things inside of my head. The whole week of Christmas we kept fighting because he kept disappearing at night. Christmas Day was a disaster because the fight we had gotten into was terrible and he was so ready to leave me.

January 26th, 2020
-It’s our 4th anniversary. I wake up and he’s not home. A couple hours later he shows up with gifts. Tells me that he’s going to go with his sister to the store because he needed to replace a part on her car. He told me to hang tight because he’d only be gone a couple hours. So I’m waiting and hours pass by. I’ve been calling him and texting him wondering where he was. It’s 5pm, then 6pm, then it’s 9pm. I’m angry and hurt at this point. I called his sister and she said he had left hours ago, around 2pm that day. She goes out to look for him and finds him laying down on the picnic table behinds his moms house. She said that he was sweating a lot, and his eyes were weird.

He finally comes home and tells me that he’s been addicted to molly. I get the feeling he’s lying so I keep pressuring him and he admits that he’s been using meth for almost 2 months. He stops using it and fast forward to the past couple days. He’s been acting strange, I noticed he hasn’t been sleeping for the past 2 days. Yesterday he went to go “vacuum” the car for 3 hours? When he came home he was sweating a lot. Even inside the house. It’s cold in our house and he was sweating. He was acting funny too. How can I deal with this? How can I find out if he’s using again?",1.2348596564725582,3.3370674608294952,2.8572790113112703,92.14552890657733,81.76497695852534,5.512274821952242,20.69312945119397,6.680037744263671,0.2996377880184333,1634,47,350,17,44,537,198,434,0.131,0.84,0.028999999999999998,-0.9923,1,0,2,0,3,0,48.0,6,1,0,1,16,9,2,1,15,0,34,11,8,7,0,67,74,26,0,6,5,7,2,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,19,27,1,11,10,1,1,18,7,9,0,0,41,7,48,0,38,29,4,63,0,1,2,1,76,18,0,7,29,192,67,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963646810422845,0.0,0.0,0.06475538140511815,0.0,0.07315011190857877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06503095559164905,0.06829290562660384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671875893713317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14918665584696333,0.08355098305116758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629270434830527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24248891654503796,0.0,0.18844763224876027,0.07531246353462573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07632283829050365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07474949972121604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04824955432267792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0369368247720416,0.0,0.0,0.0800238956309537,0.13353474105864804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633235627701107,0.0,0.12454984944222078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07497149099893738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21982859090740425,0.0,0.35970303075902804,0.3371645877241053,0.07820270003130178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06493116305145641,0.0,0.0,0.040146967230814526,0.0,0.08240480856456966,0.07735055390234108,0.07937022029713202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06464791364062954,0.06134451510094579,0.0,0.0,0.1242108444964036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07957404993137944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711131015283162,0.0583086810825598,0.0,0.0,0.05416645574321514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06855349698836294,0.14314911104179362,0.0,0.16633829456221305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05555864384047469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910720896982948,0.13947105781469674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06905688987156172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04679839722294059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13897662545803408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06650296643944348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310384410680873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051705935713820435,0.0,0.0,0.061073980148690914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553994812758938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048531896534828214,0.046808187186805454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0698034446275691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787146370138015,0.2523707394270656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058597176006857474,0.0,0.0,0.06771908996619287,0.0,0.08155893037235434,0.0,0.0,0.07922078822680279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15973979282619344,0.0,0.0
addiction,squirrel-bait,2020/03/30,"How much pressure is too much pressure to get back to normal after my SO relapsed? My SO had a relapse after over 2 years clean.  Once on a friday, another last Tuesday.  Thankfully, I was home sick last week (not with Covid-19), so it was easy for me to be active in helping create deterrents (ensuring he didn't have cash on him, keeping him company, etc) and help with taking it one day at a time (making sure he kept his \[virtual\] therapy appointment, making myself available and supportive to conversation, etc).  


He has spent the past week basically asleep and low energy.  I know he feels a lot of shame and guilt and is likely in a depressive episode.  He already has issues that go untreated like Asperger's and ADD that he has to struggle with when not detoxing.    


I'm not sure how much I should push on him to get back to ""normal"".  He usually does most of the cooking, cleaning, dog care, etc as I make more money.  On top of that, his job is closed due to the virus where I am still at work, so he has literally all day to do whatever, which I know is more of a curse than a blessing.  Being that only 2 other people work in my office, I'm still going to my desk, so I'm not at home.  


He has been doing very little of the daily routine stuff that is his ""job"".  The first few days I understood as he detoxed.  The next few days I let slide because I'm trying to be understanding.  But I just popped back home and he's taking a nap after only being awake for a few hours.  In my head, I think he should be getting ""back to it"", but I don't want to apply stress that could lead to a relapse.  At the same time, I don't want to let things slide like just because he relapsed, he's allowed to dip out of the responsibilities of life while his body heals.  


Advice? Suggestions? Perspective?",4.689560318432335,5.255099935211269,5.686466625842012,81.78447030006123,69.36619718309859,8.765462339252911,28.39252908756889,8.841846274778883,2.0516111451316603,1387,46,281,23,23,459,185,355,0.066,0.846,0.08900000000000001,0.7285,5,0,0,0,0,0,56.0,0,0,0,5,19,17,0,6,18,0,31,9,3,7,3,49,59,20,0,7,8,0,1,3,0,2,5,0,5,0,13,13,1,2,6,2,3,6,7,8,0,2,8,1,26,9,48,41,15,54,1,2,0,0,25,19,0,2,32,185,39,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895225398373471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010965195217292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09606354935656873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28177700585119075,0.0,0.11169209108578647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017606816221878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934049086742555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0731450164688542,0.0,0.0,0.2363295782811653,0.0,0.07890559312552291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08017059532645758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.306516000698792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046321962856497055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07792542829313535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435910339086181,0.0,0.10413083303272724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09402071355027923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12281167024816178,0.0,0.27568400601982845,0.0,0.09021972263734544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561950425983012,0.18182226647559813,0.08142927665442834,0.0,0.0,0.10069551653906307,0.1493526046924042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873596940874651,0.06470852056019906,0.13427151762103218,0.0918196541269296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788555405947685,0.0,0.0,0.18345588899375756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20203688130853625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743078627674473,0.0,0.1795213271725962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975641755960678,0.06207890741874975,0.13935065898159324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745436565704619,0.06351247671922011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14632350122260715,0.0,0.10494165111299593,0.09577313190939714,0.10487423639230237,0.0,0.1039606227101509,0.17268713394156726,0.0,0.13776218980755478,0.0,0.0,0.08434435439475535,0.1047667200114278,0.0,0.060863182542515326,0.058701502406572965,0.0,0.0,0.1068398099858751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06219878018556994,0.0,0.0,0.09537169969626254,0.0,0.0,0.1008980738150817,0.07558979304955465,0.10807068937100567,0.0,0.1469718216028044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333897812270747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05899535748065742
addiction,YeahImFuckingGay,2020/03/30,"Meth skin after sobriety I’ve been sober off meth for well of two years now, but my skin...my poor poor skin (mainly my face) is covered in freckles and blemishes now. I was 18 when I started using. I’m now 22 and I look 32. Shit ages you like nothing else. Guess it’s called speed for a reason😢

Does anyone have any tips to regain, if not all, some of my youthfulness? I know I’ll never look my age again but any tips on how to to add some oil back to my eternally dry skin and fix these damn permanent eye bags would help a lot. Right now I just wash my face and do a moisturizing face mask everyday and drink a lot of water. Helps but I still look 7-10 years older. Thanks for anyone who replies.",0.2596518607442988,2.456988394557825,1.9102440976390584,96.76843937575032,86.82312925170069,5.363585434173669,16.81032412965186,6.794906146795322,-0.2518648259303724,542,12,126,7,17,176,99,147,0.109,0.789,0.102,-0.4854,0,0,3,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,0,11,5,2,0,4,0,6,11,8,2,2,23,15,11,0,2,6,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,6,2,0,1,1,2,0,2,2,1,1,2,8,13,3,14,12,6,24,0,0,4,0,5,4,2,6,21,69,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416939164506524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485139472638133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13664583184188794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18145887258544946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555127275847143,0.0,0.0,0.17408535662070412,0.0,0.0,0.1484515238744244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19576446447383272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382267181845816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976632041259992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681873887035448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4476877567764831,0.0,0.0,0.3021605340939446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13705871208607304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17051480658208878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827125508937701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15176093812287025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18241383935846595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12578203790867482,0.0,0.14191716234744825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636088712437376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17359406712076447,0.0,0.0,0.15348192366805338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15978007277742254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12623806318678504,0.0,0.0,0.22887516100618435
addiction,AxlDaffodil,2020/03/30,Heartfelt advice for addiction. Challenge yourself. Eye that sees me. search for that on youtube if you'd like something to listen to on addiction.,4.303000000000001,7.6885160000000035,3.3675,82.05125000000002,89.0,5.7,34.25,7.1686216300943375,3.126000000000001,120,7,17,2,4,35,20,25,0.0,0.742,0.258,0.743,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,3,6,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,1,1,11,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8139660993204761,0.0,0.3648121812685898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823893934591636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2974943912703944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874064332462276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,juulisveryaddicting,2020/03/30,"I am no longer afraid I was terrified of drugs.

I was terrified of becoming a drug addict.

That fear created pressure.

That pressure led me to turn to drugs to relieve it.

I am no longer afraid.",1.2100000000000009,3.825536842105265,2.900315789473684,87.8052105263158,88.47368421052632,7.2505263157894735,26.02105263157895,8.238735603445708,2.2401936842105274,152,7,30,4,5,50,23,38,0.41200000000000003,0.495,0.09300000000000001,-0.9382,0,0,3,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,5,1,0,4,4,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,2,0,5,1,5,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,20,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647010143583989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26816687242138304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8447547967390692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27323110274330586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26410982453021203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Tricky-Display,2020/03/30,"Just coming out of an addictive cycle, it's like I'm seeing color for the first time When I was addicted to drugs and porn everything seemed grey when I wan't using those things. Eventually the drugs and porn even got boring and I just felt crappy when I didn't use them. I wasn't able to use these things in a healthy manner and eventually lost control. Now that I have stopped using these things, everything seems more enjoyable and interesting. I used to think of using hard drugs as a way to add more excitement to my life, but now I realize it's more like borrowing excitement from sober activities.",6.730111801242237,7.298121886956526,6.824099378881988,75.39826086956522,64.91304347826087,11.093167701863349,30.341614906832298,10.914260884657429,3.276204968944098,487,16,91,13,7,156,73,115,0.07200000000000001,0.7609999999999999,0.166,0.8949,0,0,3,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,3,8,8,0,0,5,0,4,8,0,7,0,24,19,10,0,0,3,0,2,2,0,0,6,0,0,0,9,8,0,2,5,0,1,1,2,2,0,1,6,5,10,6,12,13,3,12,0,1,3,2,1,2,0,2,10,58,19,0,0.1229860263488072,0.0,0.0,0.2681458442790061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10594157177249902,0.0,0.0,0.13793928626427146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.427874235256308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08123111049454787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22106382059509988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11808587207927512,0.0,0.0,0.10461185118485472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09836316025846188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11017132269108676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686866753906541,0.12016952041976264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13425377591436705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09800393994549024,0.22392371871168065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282182497732108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451193532420462,0.07880447972622523,0.0,0.0,0.07171414099141439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.637322635652469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097620583187362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,throwaway-help12349,2020/03/30,"Fuck Fuck

Was clean off meth 10 months booze 9, fucked it all up thursday night, got fired, ended up drinking, friday said fuck it and got some meth, totally overamped and have not dosed again since friday night realized how i fucked up threw the rest i had out, i have not fucking slept yet and am really not enjoying myself, wont be doing this ever again sober was better.
I have hydroxazine wondering if that may help with sedation/sleep?",12.321526104417671,7.995170228915665,10.554216867469881,68.67140562248997,57.55421686746988,14.440160642570286,39.714859437751,11.855464076750405,4.384601606425703,351,10,65,7,3,108,62,83,0.256,0.662,0.08199999999999999,-0.9620000000000001,0,0,3,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,5,8,6,0,1,0,11,10,1,1,3,17,23,5,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,1,0,4,5,2,0,2,1,0,1,4,6,0,0,8,2,5,2,6,12,4,15,0,0,0,6,2,5,6,4,9,43,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311764435210887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14529653211361074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13136695212052316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13416337572530174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8227132920335776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372491238049868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09941535773293622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11838711854087496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783753919201681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09501719635384344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14108570050842895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12269132846315473,0.0,0.1484265000920248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16084604680782671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,onetoomany123,2020/03/30,"Day 42 craving... I’ve been thinking about using coke. Miss it so much. Just want to lock myself in a room and go to town. I’m also perusing cocaine subreddit...

Wtf is wrong with me????",-0.6523423423423438,1.4904286756756768,1.8041891891891917,93.11096846846847,100.08108108108108,4.628828828828829,19.68018018018018,6.42735559955562,0.3917423423423427,139,5,29,2,6,47,35,37,0.231,0.731,0.038,-0.8358,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,6,8,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,5,7,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,16,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37210908831011696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3000871408799715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26444699973241736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34205717007657754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2981525402053519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4018793589110251,0.0,0.0,0.27445252026548583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5087446007354833,0.0,0.0
addiction,Copain26,2020/03/30,"Relapsed after 6 years. From 2010 to 2013 I was injecting cocaine. Nobody knew and I was able to hide it because I'm naturally over-the-top. Then one day I overdosed in the middle of the street while walking to my workplace. Got taken to the ER and my mom was called. I never saw a woman so devastated then when she came in and saw my purple/yellow/green arms. She asked for an explanation and I awkwardly told her everything.

We agree for me to go to rehab. Called her sobbing the first week, begging her to come get me. She didn't. Rehab worked and I stayed sober for 6 years until last thursday.

Was able to stay clean until last night. Now writing this high as a kite and completely freaked out. Stupidos here is injecting cocaine while having a panic disorder. Don't even know why I'm getting high, it triggers attacks.

I don't need nice words or support. I need y'all to be downright cruel to me and tell me all the ways I fucked up and how terrible a daughter I am to a woman who did everything for me for almost 30 years. Be ruthless.",2.9386912393162383,4.847208649038464,4.17724358974359,85.6955341880342,75.49038461538461,6.737606837606838,26.459401709401718,7.594959193182576,1.4823292735042741,821,31,161,11,18,269,128,208,0.174,0.7879999999999999,0.038,-0.9815,0,0,2,0,0,0,24.0,1,1,0,2,6,10,3,2,11,0,13,4,1,2,2,24,32,19,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,4,12,0,0,2,0,0,4,4,8,1,2,13,2,26,2,26,17,1,35,0,1,2,1,19,8,2,2,20,103,30,1,0.2771951669061189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13878545944878856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12957003123011518,0.15767475977464948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448780045672474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830472576887597,0.1585187126527737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193895458760761,0.14531692932115942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08938397543522186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15884483816871886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09154239672580483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2491251423676774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11789103368256405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281312325706474,0.1448230338998456,0.0,0.07876820065893775,0.0,0.11084914861761493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928719129070443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07616960722585868,0.22595105777457716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16232381464429102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055367039336808,0.1068950006289938,0.0,0.0,0.13006444321290642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09391730948144576,0.0,0.0,0.16261440166458194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29545316593138865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15727889524685995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211403968737478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324359304583526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001231055854796,0.11117462136868586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125062761591314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10090069144307937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677568989305039
addiction,mjanex,2020/03/30,"My boyfriend is an addict -just random thought -I needed somewhere to put them I thought I had been in love before.. but boy was I wrong. I never thought it was humanly possible to love someone so damn much, but sometimes I wonder whether it’s love or obsession. I suppose when you see your SO struggle and hurt the more you want to take their pain away, the love grows stronger with struggle and perhaps it grows into an obsession. I would do anything to ease his pain. And I have. And I have tried endlessly. But I know it’s something he can only he can do. I know this. The hardest part it letting it happen and doing nothing.. it breaks me. Every single time. 

I have pulled this man out of crack houses, I have cried alone and cried with him, I have screamed and shouted, I have taken keys away, I have hidden money, I have manipulated him, and I have guilted him and I have hurt him. And I have been an enabler. And I feel sorry for it. 

I’m not even the addict.. and I’m crushed. We all struggle with it, we all hurt, and we all feel the pain and heartache it brings upon all of us. 

The anxiety it brings, it engulfs me. Every time he walks out the door I wonder if he will come back. Every time he has money in his hands I wonder where it will go. Every time he looks me in the eye I wonder if he’s just lied. Every time his phone dings I wonder who it is. Every time he is gone I sit at home, restless feeling the fire of anxiety burning me up in flames. Is he okay? Where is he? Who is he with? Will he come home tonight? Every time he’s gone I wake multiple times during the night to check if his shoes are by the door. Sometimes they’re there.. Sometimes they’re not. 

I am the girlfriend of an addict. I have been lied to, I have been stolen from, I have been left at work a million times, I have to been screamed and shouted at, I have had drug dealers in my home and I have been afraid for my own safety. 

And yet I still love him",0.8926927784577714,3.0858219598997496,2.165178061432652,96.0663682461969,83.78696741854637,4.613883546074488,20.807891822579702,5.742656918730078,-0.10449191583610153,1498,46,331,9,43,478,172,399,0.226,0.6829999999999999,0.091,-0.9964,0,1,2,0,0,0,55.0,4,3,2,2,12,24,1,8,17,1,47,16,4,1,5,64,81,28,0,6,12,0,5,0,1,4,7,4,5,3,18,29,0,0,13,0,3,12,3,18,0,1,17,12,61,6,34,59,9,48,0,3,3,5,43,18,1,10,16,227,79,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22026583192076926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975476593278583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304583689302912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055423690909323566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12655595061620134,0.05178834734163867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05731028185734451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11603291735613827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14796263811609306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810515259758785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04448434440354385,0.0,0.3972196783439856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021632504630555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038276819173251014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059557790381754974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20267401191464465,0.0,0.0,0.07771338954082556,0.2163001849642606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07402810418142829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07317647312284659,0.06887040967671497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05655742473327394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3039321037043779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04951033840120414,0.04993951356081176,0.051944827676297545,0.0,0.0,0.06320384535996244,0.0,0.06462458394181739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051223060645595925,0.21499691772714305,0.0,0.0,0.07293398618944376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592752537316401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770581579513486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05366959765657799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0570658271863785,0.05184967545225858,0.19983398472329145,0.07539332721310073,0.0,0.0,0.053786165288185424,0.0,0.0,0.21122797609425206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05063916492934977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16040622914148964,0.3534533597213901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04572654213208103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101431214046385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03972504698663529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36519351078699397,0.04903193786977168,0.0,0.0,0.04784383523397656,0.07363715643370468,0.0,0.0
addiction,throawwwwwawy,2020/03/30,"How can we help my brother? My oldest brother (33M) has a drug addiction that I have trouble understanding.

He is on a number of prescription medications, and has been on many over the years, I can't even begin to name them all but mostly related to depression, anxiety, sleep aids. I was surprised recently to learn he is now on lithium as well.

He abuses these drugs. He mixes and matches them, he overdoses on them. When his doctor won't prescribe he'll just buy them from other countries and abuse them. The drugs make him like a zombie. He's had one incident after another where he's passed out in public or crashed his car due to driving in a complete haze, he comes to and can't even remember how he got there.

He's had therapists, psychiatrists, he's been to a short-term in-treatment facility. I don't know what's next. I really worry about his survival, he's endangered his life many times (unclear if intentional or not) and is clearly on this destructive path. Even when everything seems to be going good/improving we'll suddenly find out he was taken to a hospital after taking 8 sleeping pills and passing out in a McDonalds.  I don't even understand what's going through his head -- I always hear about opioid or amphetamine addiction but this type of abuse seems so different (though maybe it's not). I worry about his life and don't know what we can do to help.

Anyone that can help explain, tell me where to look/read, point me to stories of recovery from this type of addiction... anything would help!",6.718997971602434,6.957389958620691,7.176044624746449,73.99753549695744,64.93103448275862,10.961460446247463,34.300202839756594,10.718039707386858,3.734476673427992,1208,50,220,30,17,396,163,290,0.132,0.7829999999999999,0.084,-0.9656,1,0,4,0,3,0,42.0,3,0,5,1,19,6,1,0,9,0,25,14,3,4,2,42,42,20,0,2,9,2,0,1,0,4,11,1,0,0,11,13,0,0,10,0,1,7,8,3,1,1,8,1,27,3,36,29,2,35,0,1,0,0,40,15,0,8,14,141,38,4,0.0,0.35050304955370554,0.0,0.3224918096689864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08204975135483868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10339908079026086,0.07543484645054183,0.0,0.0,0.06894900301631555,0.0,0.08114597813024202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494205654377893,0.10338860690515206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08493092180162617,0.0,0.0,0.10302436737552498,0.0,0.1009294614984944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3430619055078246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605186034263829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08862250783430035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901259212076072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11208239222499528,0.08270770797597089,0.07886582179884125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10120025151536356,0.0,0.11113837723728466,0.0,0.2643794425467632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10838475071531056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13929948643449264,0.04817488558813315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08280588093668463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06582160252100372,0.19994606005683668,0.09906498502595196,0.0,0.0,0.09933718110900996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10487072161256658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681932956419033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321642841503396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863467995595086,0.0,0.06317080674765566,0.0,0.09736349913443404,0.0,0.11170363611802277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17953803080386518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973584174937598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07414094049805472,0.0,0.08618773415610799,0.0,0.0,0.11449148267494133,0.0,0.0,0.09688185465531972,0.0,0.057499115004281426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053088012685228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08866043005773615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20028241140821748,0.0,0.07004829061122786,0.0,0.0,0.06350031593930171
addiction,idontcare222222,2020/03/30,i am suffering hard during this quarantine all i can think about is how i can get more money to buy drugs because i am displaced from my job at the moment. i cant stop wondering when this will be over so i can buy stuff and i’m terrified that i will run out. it’s been eating me up ever since this started because i hate not having anything to do. i’m not trying to whine or complain because i know people have it a lot worse i am just seeking support or advice from other people who have struggled with addiction and are now living a sober life on how i can manage this. i’m exhausted and i feel like i can’t take it anymore. getting high is my outlet and it’s one of the only things that keeps me sane. living a sober life sounds impossible to me now and it’s fucking painful. i know that i need to make a change or do something better or else things are going to get a lot worse for me.,3.388109656301147,4.108880904255321,4.800000000000002,86.40653846153847,72.40425531914894,7.273977086743042,26.16366612111293,7.321109707123232,1.1895649754500823,702,22,149,7,13,235,110,188,0.156,0.779,0.065,-0.9509,2,1,2,0,0,1,8.0,0,0,0,1,9,11,2,1,7,0,22,8,0,3,2,29,42,13,0,1,7,0,2,1,0,2,6,1,0,0,17,7,1,2,5,0,3,2,4,8,0,1,1,3,21,3,17,38,4,15,0,2,0,1,2,6,1,7,8,108,38,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15225309634251405,0.0,0.13647689806241062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13850799577644135,0.0,0.0,0.11493060650519288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25541148894772153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12352042082516206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14774475224380296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16196453920594678,0.14290993879479627,0.11667037074315476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633302279040218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706177216855453,0.09977515145248428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291160329841089,0.21890418807406511,0.0,0.07937360306567545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12511046033900078,0.13788812709206388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14756144465470328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13859380538327015,0.12413873767940199,0.0,0.0,0.1535100743456603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19729596993805287,0.06823220258773292,0.0,0.24664966981128164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374726821026839,0.0,0.0,0.0932260214639442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10355821649461584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946391460185096,0.10621987331522643,0.14861109479671294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19364923798294892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11553053365813093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107519267465874,0.0,0.0,0.09885406772953234,0.0,0.0,0.11676437698654915,0.0,0.14600591074007596,0.15988052277661505,0.0,0.15848772090131133,0.0,0.0,0.10500906458518812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18557155269947945,0.08949030014796346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09482189176508364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15145837816964752,0.0,0.0,0.2846567047065836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,hbh222,2020/03/30,"Does anyone else suffer from hyper realistic dreams about relapsing? I’ve been clean for nearly a year and a half. Ever since I was about 6 months clean, I have been having awful dreams about relapsing and I end up waking up, panicking because I can’t tell what’s real, and what isn’t since I’m half asleep. Those dreams end up messing up my entire day because they put me in a bad headspace, Whether it’s from shame or cravings. I’d also like to add that I do have ptsd, so I normally tend to have screwed up, very vivid dreams. But I was just curious if anyone else has the problem with relapse dreams",5.85822904368359,5.763970123966942,5.9745690672963425,83.01561983471078,66.76859504132231,8.897756788665879,29.68240850059032,8.418075326091056,1.961121841794568,479,15,97,6,7,152,81,121,0.165,0.6559999999999999,0.179,-0.0516,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,0,7,7,1,1,4,1,12,3,2,0,1,14,14,9,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,5,5,0,0,0,5,0,1,2,6,0,2,4,1,10,1,16,10,0,14,0,1,1,1,2,7,1,2,7,60,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15132427387073594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26462298001215906,0.3877695918583507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579961297303385,0.23070129920098145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12203536575210355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655932870423585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3161487318318938,0.0,0.33519682825315394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711661010814896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244645483169626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15103869732976724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18540168337072527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18106409743824628,0.22119552103242404,0.1902247843082505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153810561205384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3130600466187598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653922033324261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561315872354077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12185558964206734
addiction,wtfissuboxoneanime,2020/03/30,"im so sorry mom when i was a kid, home life was pretty gnarly for us but mainly for my mom.  when i was 15 she got the balls to leave her husband, took me and my younger sister in the middle of the night (she did everything legally) and thought she was driving to her fresh start.  i was at the peak of my active addiction when we left. it was bad.   shooting shit in my neck in the mcdonalds bathroom bad. when we got to our destination i decided i was going to get clean for her, but it was my first attempt at recovery after years of using.  i got extremely sick and was quickly hospitalized after a suicide attempt.  i stayed in a locked room in the observation unit for nine months.  my mom was not only blindsided by the drugs, but now she had to wonder every night if her kid was going to kill herself that night.  they wouldn’t let me go home to her so i was put in care, and without my mom to disappoint, i went gun-totin back to my old ways.  after years of overdoses, dead friends, face tattoos, a stint in rehab and countless white key tags and trips to detox, another too-close-to-be-funny suicide attempt, i found my way back to recovery.  i’m an adult now and my mom and i never got close again.  i’d like to say i tried, but in all honesty i tried my hardest to push her away.  for some stupid shit reason i thought that if we hadn’t spoken in a while, or she just didn’t like me, etc. that my inevitable death would sting less.  i miss my mom so much.  i feel like a blubbering baby all the time and i love her so fucking much.  i can barely sleep knowing how badly i’ve hurt her and everything i put her through.  have any fellow addicts been able to reconnect with their parents in adulthood and sobriety?  even if i can just ease some of her pain.  like, she really likes jason momoa and i found a jason momoa colouring book i think maybe that might be a good in.",2.497770669291338,4.153291522309711,3.7337524606299226,89.49976254921263,76.03412073490814,6.75725065616798,24.242208005249342,7.531066641456977,1.0200294619422572,1454,47,310,19,32,474,196,381,0.18100000000000002,0.6940000000000001,0.125,-0.9849,1,1,1,2,0,2,43.0,5,0,2,4,19,21,5,0,17,0,25,15,5,3,3,49,50,30,5,5,12,9,1,5,2,3,8,1,4,3,6,17,0,0,10,2,0,10,6,12,0,2,27,4,62,9,45,18,9,56,0,3,2,2,40,18,3,8,30,207,68,2,0.07707324398447961,0.0,0.0,0.16804242476235232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05241244886359865,0.08081801645766623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07241284981946529,0.11852913435327005,0.1930588181264656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858130890462056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08938049388649616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595704043464056,0.050906150756672784,0.0,0.0649375321986797,0.0,0.13853692396357847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03897054795042086,0.05506114090247456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06555846196031342,0.0,0.16901366774178495,0.05954659711396086,0.07125297212194369,0.04026758890105659,0.0,0.13140750212995314,0.06464538033888842,0.2465700559568792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15462149576926462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08250850175213302,0.0,0.08325232933830855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08527012511770546,0.0,0.04235743925440712,0.0,0.0,0.08160943688165814,0.08374030510240542,0.07881261384617301,0.05443911155285462,0.18827046945443687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06956161183634389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07743043293050192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176253208378167,0.0,0.5416035110658945,0.06151912802677264,0.0,0.11331540497941105,0.0,0.059443637175606724,0.0,0.0,0.21698405518409952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808754044465678,0.0,0.0,0.0586176751035847,0.0820113656672287,0.0,0.08558071644128308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841119746359179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549597959544651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049375093669662085,0.0792441313467039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061291737109956515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582291547555828,0.0,0.0,0.0771289053595338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627718656120094,0.0545528387860244,0.08214982316603367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16861123885065135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0493854226640622,0.0,0.1223750931175621,0.04494202837395973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856312099591806,0.10465534688970826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09270962273509534,0.06656653666647873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12235430722133765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714476693374019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07429585683591293,0.0835826453766971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05475062118717425,0.0,0.0,0.09926528436088126
addiction,Treebird97,2020/03/30,How long before you develop changes in brain chemistry? i am a 25F and i have been taking some form of upper but it’s in the form of a gummie so i’m not completely sure (Ecstasy/Cocaine/Molly) consistently for 2 weeks now. i have lost a lot of weight and i think i am addicted to these. How long after taking uppers do they mess with your brain chemistry and will my brain ever be okay again?,1.2068194444444489,3.5815514875000005,3.069166666666668,88.89027777777781,84.125,6.055555555555558,20.13888888888889,7.3871296695380915,0.7045972222222225,309,9,63,5,9,103,59,80,0.125,0.8440000000000001,0.031,-0.7893,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,1,1,6,4,0,0,4,1,8,5,3,2,2,13,13,7,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,9,2,9,9,4,11,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,2,7,47,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101949635559005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640699218031607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6457302491421412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039709113277986,0.0,0.20216108262870106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744106738006643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3412674161760223,0.0,0.0,0.2104784999479613,0.1639229774605166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18172425879648985,0.0,0.2899432199903246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12354698085017067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15466320353534244,0.2347946621691853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,egymike,2020/03/30,"Clean but extremely lonely I have been struggling with loneliness and it has gotten progressively worse. Clean for 18 months now, and all aspects of my life are firing on all cylinders, save for friendships and relationships. 
I haven’t dealt with this before. I relocated to Florida from Jersey and cleaned up here, but have struggled to meet people i like. Women have been nonexistent in my life since cleaning up (for the most part). 
I’ve always had friends. Always did decently with women, nothing to brag about or be depressed about. I just don’t know how to meet people clean, and the people I do know don’t interest me all that much. I know that sounds shitty, but it’s the truth. 
My biggest fear has now become the loneliness continuing, which has exacerbated the problem. My career is on a great trajectory, my family is great, and I have no interest in using. But it all starts to seem pointless if I’m this alone. 
I got clean at 32. When I was younger I figured I’d have a family by now. Here I sit, about to turn 34, no friends and no prospects and feeling my age creeping on me. Please help. My anxiety on this issue is growing exponentially and I’m genuinely scared. I know I have nice problems, in that I’m not on dope and crack, but I’m dying inside nonetheless.",4.18561475409836,6.136834364754101,5.030295081967214,80.72740983606558,72.15573770491805,8.158688524590165,28.183606557377054,8.841846274778883,2.291069508196721,1011,39,189,20,20,328,133,244,0.201,0.573,0.226,0.8287,0,3,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,1,11,18,0,4,7,0,23,2,0,2,5,40,38,19,1,3,9,0,2,1,2,0,2,1,6,2,10,13,0,0,7,0,0,1,7,8,0,0,7,3,23,10,29,30,7,22,0,2,0,0,8,12,0,4,9,128,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412895158244988,0.0,0.0,0.2270239943248892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10436058531380768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15066467930939678,0.11608299256845313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11749796185069684,0.0,0.14158195904714346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572084287185085,0.15350992499732236,0.06897782538563255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107948178332476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10910717939324986,0.3008060794900049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143915135827857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14238657132747592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29989047650960515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192714330607775,0.0666477032030491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10888878638056897,0.0,0.10028406872949346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308982411939748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14772908285272832,0.0,0.2837284254891813,0.0,0.0,0.14974770412608493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610701783808096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464635472635466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13657977200745555,0.0,0.0,0.12419123828312123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11284766468203235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655846237677332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852306751312447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14838530074952136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11782269391100746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13902318004206704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Forthetoes,2020/03/30,"I'm trying to help a friend get clean I've got a friend who has stated on a couple of occasions that they want to stop smoking weed.  And I'm trying to support them through it.  It's been hard for them, they've only gone a couple days without before caving. Any advice on how I should proceed?",2.5062295081967183,4.040330114754099,3.8696393442622967,89.04872131147543,75.72131147540983,5.5357377049180325,22.036065573770493,5.6839178017228535,0.2382826229508197,231,6,47,1,5,76,44,61,0.057999999999999996,0.6890000000000001,0.253,0.9042,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,0,4,0,3,0,0,1,0,6,10,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,1,4,3,9,6,0,7,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,3,26,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23231775730503595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16167203500265356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20230008369670974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5261117973766238,0.0,0.15332327956422806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3673562194337125,0.0,0.12420986203538165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19014319871320065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21296924222344046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15935278341508705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18081274633406316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19876212443097868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2697856736408358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3228210715664325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14022580363949394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22917384375966615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,scb1993,2020/03/30,"The fear is killing me Hello everyone this is my first post on here so bare with me. Im a 26m and Ive been using drugs to run from myself for about 7 years. I am terrified of the person I have become and I am trying so hard to change my thought process and the addictions I have become aware with. 

I am not sure where to start but I had a very bad acid trip when I was living on my own at 19. I never used any drugs really before then other then smoking weed. After that trip my life went into a downward spiral and I moved home with my parents and was prescribed klonopin for anxiety and sleep. I started off at 1.5mg and currently on .375 and having trouble getting off them and it seems my mind is trying to escape reality all the time and everything feels fake. Along with the benzos Ive had trouble kicking this habit of taking hydros a couple times a month for the last few years coupled with a weekend binge drinking problem that has got me in trouble more than once. I have days where I feel better than others but those are the days I seem to think it is ok to drink or party with my friends or how I think of it is ""keeping up with them.""

More then anything I just want to feel like I did before any of the drugs Ive done and the guilt is eating me alive. It seems time is just passing by and I regret so much and who Ive become and just want to be better. I have been in therapy but it seems like I am not doing enough to change and I want to so bad. If anyone has some words of encouragement or advice please comment I never in my life thought it would come to this. Thank you",3.4610223266745024,4.191828456456459,4.443308525917222,88.99361927144537,72.24324324324324,6.992505549027289,24.388170779475125,6.895973343053719,0.7411706227967101,1248,33,272,10,23,406,173,333,0.131,0.7440000000000001,0.125,-0.5237,2,0,5,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,2,3,13,20,1,2,15,1,34,10,1,3,4,65,59,31,1,7,12,1,4,2,1,1,6,0,1,1,15,25,3,1,11,3,0,7,4,11,0,1,12,5,41,9,45,45,8,44,0,1,0,0,10,15,0,9,23,196,56,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09755310706341924,0.0,0.08744482554505567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12170729487336282,0.0,0.06845665624490427,0.0,0.0,0.06257079347290008,0.0,0.07363947289480563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494343870274651,0.0,0.2964912508506456,0.15229223742360462,0.0,0.0,0.15828644706401196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18932895264440666,0.07708439055901238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980294355131384,0.0,0.1154223214705516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157539560105757,0.0,0.17532470938875688,0.3113265558440372,0.09156666691567693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924631092827985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550784670957977,0.08042437732476433,0.0,0.0,0.1006967921282092,0.1357406515135899,0.0639289201056149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07611686950568645,0.0,0.0,0.06913677390379974,0.0,0.0467528175317141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157024513723756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016200934756425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897619000226687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966603928585845,0.0,0.0,0.07953939761141579,0.0990031613347952,0.0,0.0,0.07294315200258937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12641342173593398,0.08743682097919181,0.0,0.07901790579065622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09035549715316707,0.0,0.0714269874566637,0.09510961064413588,0.06578261322713166,0.0,0.13803446385237308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09529982426711887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09936377442026792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07813585046268569,0.0,0.09822891538982884,0.0,0.0,0.08570299097310975,0.0,0.0,0.08562615571516119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0573271161236185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3258593033840252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08955077115631599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266775084978128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433963295071935,0.0,0.06728244460173853,0.0,0.0,0.08238681977924428,0.10233520598244997,0.0,0.0,0.11467821727358965,0.0,0.1420840073889246,0.15654027291545067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12151043731164113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15457459596764553,0.0,0.07383544164648052,0.15834374106931404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829545532464236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06356839016116983,0.0,0.0,0.1152522873510368
addiction,addictiontherapist,2020/03/31,"How can I help? I hope this post is okay.  If not, I apologize in advance.  

I am a licensed marriage and family therapist and do teletherapy for an online substance abuse program.  I've been working in the field of addiction on and off for a few years.   My question to all of you who are suffering from some form of addiction, what is is that you want in a therapist?  How can a therapist be helpful in overcoming your addiction and working towards recovery?  I find this feedback to helpful because as someone who is not in recovery, my perspective is different than someone who is in recovery.  I've been reading a lot of posts on here, and wish I could help everyone (or refer them to a program)... but know that is 1. probably not allowed, and 2. not realistic.  This post is not to make myself feel good about what I do - it's to try and figure out how I can best help my clients.  The best way to get those answers is to ask those who are in active addiction/recovery, so I thank you for any feedback you have.",4.445714285714286,5.6159506598984805,5.770953589557652,78.75046954314722,70.31979695431473,9.892530819434374,34.88361131254532,10.125756701596842,3.7333266134880345,788,41,151,21,14,265,107,197,0.027999999999999997,0.7759999999999999,0.196,0.9871,2,0,0,0,1,0,26.0,0,5,1,5,6,7,0,0,9,1,22,3,0,5,1,35,31,15,0,5,8,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,14,8,0,0,7,1,0,1,5,1,0,0,2,1,19,6,30,27,7,18,0,1,0,0,19,12,0,6,1,121,33,7,0.0,0.14129132370232209,0.0,0.3899991289317444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810938445292043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11148231599847123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07269347378487932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502902803854862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09521113420804887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245904929382235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11394814147021726,0.0,0.0,0.1124179477633884,0.0,0.06029620109783105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108992010684599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062303015117771185,0.0,0.0,0.10002094037575103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.399652600505305,0.0,0.0,0.11844179970226187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06553648356502806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10138177962654113,0.0,0.0,0.07960006077187406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34262457478293296,0.0,0.12857128126794756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13358688850189945,0.0,0.11928191077090038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20207966619591305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10978904693240116,0.0,0.4153740700499883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08096267789271576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07033652739719158,0.09465481371713562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371312009942185,0.0,0.0,0.17363031653429384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07679285848728286
addiction,drauch52,2020/03/31,"The boredom that comes from the self-quarantine leads to intrusive thoughts about relapsing into full blown drug addiction I think there is a common misconception about drug addiction. Even when I’m not using drugs, I still am very depressed. I self loathe, I procrastinate, I turn defensive and destructive extremely fast. Take away all the benefits I get from my interpretation of work, now idol time is the devils playground. I’m thinking about hydros,  going to the psychiatrist for “anxiety”. smoking way more weed then I should. I’m so fucking depressed I want to black the fuck out die and never exist again. Fuck this lockdown. I’m miserable as fuck over here and all I can do is thing about drugs and obsessions. It’s driving me up the wall. I know I can’t go back that drug addiction lifestyle. It was so hard to quit. I haven’t used pills for 2 years and I know I’m still way at the beginning of trying to gain confidence. Just because I haven’t used drugs doesn’t mean I’ve made any progress in my life outside of the positive narratives from “quitting” there is still a death amount of anxiety. I wake up every morning and walk from 9-11. Then I try to read from around 12-2. Then I’m so bored and it hits me. I’m to miserable for any other activity. I’m pushing it just to be able to walk 2 hours. This whole thing is such a joke.",1.7700974334600763,4.431622638783272,3.0046661121673037,88.15912844581752,84.96958174904944,6.937690114068443,23.8081036121673,8.07648339933343,1.6385666349809886,1066,41,213,24,32,343,151,263,0.18899999999999997,0.725,0.086,-0.9819,0,2,6,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,6,23,15,6,3,12,0,15,16,1,5,3,32,46,15,2,2,3,0,1,0,0,1,11,0,0,1,11,11,0,1,7,2,0,8,6,13,0,0,3,2,20,2,35,40,6,38,1,4,1,4,1,11,4,0,17,127,31,4,0.08760122347006935,0.0,0.0,0.2864947920258193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11914367186719856,0.0,0.13402939235902064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07798366142625945,0.0,0.0,0.08230423310606913,0.06735993354766273,0.0,0.05340089274219445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07546069727703733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509016108228811,0.0,0.09091623951239806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6095376460650465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057859781915165526,0.0,0.07380780898332101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32394367804308033,0.04576802365594836,0.0,0.09957158813805496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847348959533741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626955919532449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628668289847536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061875334812869436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08289039575635143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09542341353756507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06756346398424151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18634936841630914,0.08762492960524619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18277436239244196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20987535066693253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06586521794271648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163967207098002,0.11226265363449656,0.0,0.06954558628361908,0.05108097787577542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189509608816923,0.0952849758108704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269779920768495,0.0,0.07228018370510429,0.05166947127208448,0.13906754737844304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780363758428767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06377473401174655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056412315795794324
addiction,ahappylildingleboi,2020/03/31,found a solid piece of evidence of my brothers relapse today i know the world is burning and it seems like 2020 has everyone’s lives falling apart (even more so than usual) but i just wanted to give a little positivity to anyone struggling with addiction right now. especially since quarantine has everyone losing sanity. STAY. STRONG. FOR YOURSELF AND THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU. YOU ARENT UNSTOPPABLE OR UNBEATABLE BUT EVEN IF YOU FALL GODDAMMIT GET. BACK. UP. *AND RUN LIKE HELL*,2.782499999999999,5.512840702380951,3.736071428571428,77.62767857142859,100.3095238095238,6.861904761904763,24.29761904761905,7.645422480735847,2.518990476190476,385,16,58,10,16,123,70,84,0.081,0.664,0.255,0.9646,1,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,3,0,3,6,7,1,1,4,0,4,2,0,0,0,13,11,8,0,2,5,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,1,0,6,4,8,10,2,13,1,1,0,1,7,5,1,3,6,39,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294172130525827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14714874276335868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618199910368974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779952086586879,0.0,0.0,0.4021803605596336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23074318688242615,0.0,0.0,0.10994935398119993,0.20187898809648927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11565562303130053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2056265801373512,0.210922187393496,0.1858276816950468,0.0,0.0,0.2354352543180547,0.0,0.0,0.18993573968607586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458967651727132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17971974202045082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19158214299883636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17408311351974146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22430744510104536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22000386156901516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994782099390497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317765475727903,0.0,0.1241265087088266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,theergotrot,2020/03/31,"In a tough place right now I am 25 year's old and have been using since i was 13.
I've always used drugs since my dad turned me on to it and after my dad went to prison and traumatic shit happened, i just kinda stuck with it. Recently in my life i just started antipsychotics about a year and a half ago for bipolar disorder. I became stable so i went to college for a year, I'm still using so i landed a couple grand in debt in student loans, which i used to buy drugs. School wasn't working because I'm using so i decided i would take a break from school to get sober, i just got in to this harm reduction/science based treatment center that i was just starting to open up in. Like i was really spilling my heart out. It got closed due to coronavirus. I waited 2 months to get in the place and it was such a perfect fit for me, since i don't like AA and i like what they were saying and giving me. I'm in this dark place right now, I'm bitter. I've had a therapist for 3 and a half years and at my session i stated i was sober 3 days out of 7 last week and i want to be sober more days this week. At least just smoke pot and not drink. I just want to smoke pot and be by myself.
I just want to achieve my goals and dreams and the fact that i use tears me apart. I want to aim this week to be sober as long as i can. I'm so overwhelmed with hate, for everything. I just want to be free. And never have to use anything again",1.5627184466019417,2.79399746601942,3.016160517799353,95.45270679611653,77.57605177993528,6.238498381877023,20.45061488673139,6.742157984588678,0.04162436245954648,1103,25,267,10,25,361,151,309,0.12,0.777,0.102,-0.8532,1,0,5,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,4,18,12,3,1,11,0,19,7,2,7,3,49,51,21,0,6,9,2,0,3,0,1,4,1,0,0,12,21,1,1,1,2,4,2,4,6,1,2,14,2,37,7,44,32,2,53,0,1,0,0,5,25,1,1,27,161,49,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025851746102404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07533678676250387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07450695645127428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055192529541215465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001811253383414,0.0,0.11678201297823218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376703353269504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869502981044464,0.2099960182272759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137178802891379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460714486063376,0.08685451064327518,0.0,0.0,0.14482670578765985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08006449266555525,0.0,0.0,0.08938980653453685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729069731669616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07380243279903984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06395129499087016,0.13270025891360038,0.0,0.0,0.08012532075573796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226840761722435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06983026482084721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500681954088908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837860444967968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058002437776830874,0.0,0.08939762828799265,0.0,0.0,0.15464185147055795,0.0,0.07200128452897492,0.0,0.1832632446791419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09293832194621583,0.224687627651297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12816978772356513,0.0,0.07230560449978485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680750414528105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10512427245638813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848185249757213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5473842741026017,0.0,0.0,0.2670150884303658,0.0,0.2178779140049058,0.0,0.0,0.16786353957191807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659144203434872,0.0,0.0,0.06431723491804055,0.0,0.0,0.2332199516647861
addiction,alwaysstaysthesame,2020/03/31,"Quitting Cocaine – Some Questions Hey there. I'm hoping some of you that are further along might help me out with a lot of doubts I have.

My boyfriend is trying to quit cocaine, which he's been doing on a rather regular basis for about the last year and a half. The last three months have been really bad. He's been taking some practically every day, with some breaks of one of maximum two days in between. I wasn't around for about a month and he's only now started to open up about how big the addiction is. After I 'caught' him doing some last Thursday, he came to the conclusion that only big measures would have an effect. He factory reseted his phone to get rid of the phone numbers that were on it (you can't delete them). I now have sole access to his Google Account, again because you can't delete contacts without there being an option of recovering them. With the lockdowns in place, getting anything without a number is going to be difficult; we're also always around each other.

He's four days in and feeling absolutely terrible with intense cravings. Now he's thinking that quitting cold turkey is impossible, also because he's not feeling on top of stuff with work because he is feeling so restless and can't focus. He thinks that easing off cocaine would be better, with larger gaps of time in between – essentially getting some tonight after four days, then some next week after a break of seven etc. It sounds to me like he has intense cravings and desperately wants it, regardless of what would be best, but I've got no experience in it. The only drug I've ever done is MDMA, so it is difficult to relate to how he is feeling.

1. Is easing off the drug better than going cold turkey? I imagine it takes much more self-control.
2. Another idea that came up is taking MDMA on the weekend (we have some left) to take his thoughts off coke when he's feeling particularly antsy. He heard it can help with quitting cocaine as well. He's never had any addiction problems with MDMA, but I fear that taking any type of drug might make him want to take another as well. I'm also personally not too keen on taking it now (would have preferred to wait another three months or so), but I'd be into it if it could be of help. He also came up with that idea before feeling miserable and is now less interested in it, so I'm inclined to think that it's more than just an idea born from a craving.
3. To the people that have supported a partner or friend during cocaine recovery, is there anything at all you did that helped? I get that there is nothing that will truly get his mind off it on withdrawal, but aside from giving him a massage or a hug or whatever, I'm feeling very powerless and it breaks my heart to see him like that.",6.63965538847118,6.503290772556393,6.985398496240602,76.5657418546366,65.14661654135338,9.424160401002508,33.52280701754386,8.936278230431713,2.8067990476190485,2169,84,400,31,30,706,246,532,0.077,0.8029999999999999,0.121,0.9493,1,1,8,0,0,0,52.0,1,4,2,11,32,22,0,4,23,0,50,8,1,4,3,92,94,30,0,13,15,0,7,2,2,7,5,2,0,2,32,27,1,1,19,1,1,6,10,9,2,8,15,12,26,13,79,65,17,72,0,1,1,1,45,31,0,20,34,283,58,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424354407044967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20897274807856028,0.05435855490058695,0.0,0.0,0.08885125601878475,0.2055079211209392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751959717899774,0.1163124513132353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05454657830330843,0.11947096270350865,0.0,0.05558975158834032,0.0,0.06855824233840421,0.1155555190592476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22415524022131575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07327148060915703,0.05215950057905852,0.0,0.0,0.16852594161974072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06685374880804994,0.0,0.0,0.22728099862483395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07285855910063746,0.0,0.05909337875205354,0.05504208850867282,0.0,0.0,0.06390381977572485,0.0,0.07351273781052575,0.2312244081079368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05047264590697756,0.0,0.1706572545397615,0.06266906100003636,0.07425539712854021,0.0,0.052249178495278915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07741460063590916,0.17515329668841575,0.0,0.0,0.0648859523787986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212438129060519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597543683838216,0.0,0.0,0.07097961886028645,0.0,0.0,0.06383242166687197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055539964281714434,0.0,0.0,0.043607288690114855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13860645378021347,0.06596317351900732,0.0,0.15643378375386616,0.0,0.04802397272497259,0.0,0.0503853754202828,0.0,0.06947761308364636,0.0,0.0,0.06268446867470932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04426829008691753,0.1490558303641419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045290564226261584,0.05704233637703679,0.0682543900207743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06251056266814801,0.0,0.0,0.07318288397808423,0.2779396535730697,0.0,0.0,0.041851117279520005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05205836553032061,0.0,0.06815188508166149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04623985666213482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07478551592317803,0.0,0.07413402063773357,0.0,0.0,0.3438323727406264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12557961689998415,0.0,0.0518635408412616,0.038093580395854205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04435377101169159,0.0,0.06381646310174438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05390286371755768,0.07706489733619065,0.0,0.052402591345789104,0.0,0.11747635489985883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12594870760651256,0.0,0.04755993440863245,0.0,0.0,0.1856300007255609,0.0,0.0,0.042069419506992674
addiction,April2394,2020/03/31,"Correlation between traumatic birth and addiction Hello All, I am a first year nursing student. I am also a product of a traumatic birth and a person in drug and alcohol addiction recovery. 
I am learning about pregnancy and birth and had a question I could not find an answer to. Of course this question is just to spark a discussion and is unable to find a scientific conclusion. 

However, I theorize that people who are born in a traumatic way (macrosomia, prolonged labor, hemorrhage of the mother or infant) are more prone to addiction. 

Does anyone have any thoughts or experiences they can share? 

Thank you for your input 🤗",6.165045045045048,8.550900819819823,7.1857657657657645,65.51126126126127,67.82882882882882,11.41981981981982,36.65765765765766,11.20814326018867,5.299836036036037,505,27,74,18,9,169,76,111,0.102,0.8370000000000001,0.061,-0.7579,1,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,1,2,3,2,0,0,10,0,11,5,0,0,1,20,13,9,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,3,6,1,0,8,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,8,2,12,10,2,9,0,0,0,0,12,2,0,4,6,58,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.597256954863027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951680806232492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14604327236423434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241896687675037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12769400756141602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458093310154715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15981431731087806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21178430259817688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17864000052509485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33382759897022696,0.15533873826324598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660755562900836,0.15945905950707162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4091583407112422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16813440590949624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449819900536792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14495736428610756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760300321944818
addiction,bzdwmd,2020/03/31,"Somebody once told me, ""Once an addict, forever an addict"". And seriously, f*ck that guy. Because he has no idea. How much I fight against it and it always comes back. Yesterday it was coke, the day before dextromethorphan, today it's alcohol, what's it gonna be tomorrow? I'd rather know so I can prepare myself. 
The present is rough.",2.657619047619047,5.364434126984129,3.8406349206349217,83.55714285714289,80.74603174603175,7.409523809523812,26.46031746031746,8.418075326091056,2.245831746031746,262,11,48,6,7,85,51,63,0.107,0.893,0.0,-0.6705,0,0,2,0,1,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,4,0,5,4,0,1,0,7,9,4,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,7,3,2,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,1,4,0,1,5,1,7,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,6,29,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5018021662328738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459638975457026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915059936451756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769736912101007,0.0,0.14029932342219106,0.0,0.19584351780291048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982567000152374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14842984680102675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278879645600231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25981507606243903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12648624181660087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16918916686259036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4902115339879805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181584296395588,0.21992135361142895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,sethmmiller,2020/03/31,Looking for opinions Hi I abuse my prescribed medications (klonopin and adderall) quite often. There'll be days I just want to be up up and take maybe a max of 120 mg over a 2 day period (I don't go on crazy benders I try to keep it as minimal as possible) and I often take maybe 2 to 3 mg of klonopin towards the end when I'm trying to come down and I pair that with a pint of vodka. I do this on avg maybe every 3 weeks. Am I an addict?,0.3224971363115685,1.8819204020618585,2.9679725085910644,92.9800916380298,82.09278350515464,5.9605956471935855,22.117983963344788,6.937597516519254,0.4651887743413514,337,11,81,4,9,118,66,97,0.05,0.9109999999999999,0.039,-0.4337,0,0,1,0,1,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,5,0,5,2,0,0,0,12,13,7,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,6,0,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,9,0,18,11,0,15,0,0,1,0,1,7,0,3,6,48,12,0,0.0,0.2327795851555483,0.0,0.2141764808220484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692377002970154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534080908853364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17401018916720778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16553072403294192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165591625492333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746276339106649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16498160547325874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5921282434612163,0.0,0.0,0.1979184018956771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2214854211405862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089653269886643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2954353303485586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667744639813141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11588048890599376,0.0,0.1575928370760145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,yumyum2222,2020/03/31,"Successfully completed aversion therapy for alcohol and cocaine It’s very hard to find, and extremely difficult, but wow is it effective. They boast 60% success rates compared to the dismal 30% from traditional rehab.

4 months ago I graduated from the only place in the US that provides this therapy. And I am changed. I have done traditional rehab several times and found it to not have any lasting effect. But aversion therapy is what did it for me.

Sure, drinking ipecac isn’t pleasant and neither is vomiting repeatedly, but it’s so worth it.
So I urge my fellow addicts, if you have the opportunity to receive aversion therapy, do it!",6.098333333333333,8.322687605263162,7.360526315789478,64.85201754385966,67.6842105263158,11.031578947368422,39.85964912280701,10.980518767755715,5.417954385964913,513,31,78,17,9,174,77,114,0.13,0.648,0.222,0.9445,0,0,3,0,0,0,16.0,1,1,1,5,2,7,0,0,4,0,11,6,0,2,1,15,12,11,0,1,5,0,1,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,10,5,2,0,4,1,1,1,3,1,0,0,3,1,9,6,9,9,1,8,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,5,56,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17417841054843589,0.0,0.0,0.14163095973617568,0.17075095967970416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086525268713933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16902083918744118,0.0,0.16752112158792826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16350536985733372,0.0,0.15651874210089234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460315198820156,0.0,0.0,0.17518511798349665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14312708016004647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302380073649974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12753093694265252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12151614086771265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669309422987754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18050035151718236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15058611310088493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7308668706813064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316612849486514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921897372449935,0.0,0.0,0.13183116617459587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,rarestroses,2020/03/31,"I feel myself losing control *Trigger Warning”!!!!
I will be discussing self harm and my current problems with substance abuse. I don’t even really know why I’m writing this but I’ve been wanting to get it off my chest for a while I find this as a safe place to vent. 

Like the title says, I could feel myself losing control. I’ve always been really cautious of drinking and enjoying certain substances for years. But I had it so under control over everything in my life and was so scared that something was gonna happen and I could make a big mistake. I never had sex without being on birth control and never used protection, I never used anything unless I was with my older sister and she said it was okay and she got it for me from someone she trusted, and even then I would do such a tiny bit. I was always pretty proud of myself for being responsible (maybe too responsible and really just scared to try new things). But a few months ago, my boyfriend met someone who was hooking him up with all sorts of stuff and I totally took advantage of that. He held on to it so I could only do it on the weekends and as son as we ran out I made him go pick up more literally like it was emergency. Blew through almost $300 in about a week and maybe a day or two. And right after I ran out, I went on a trip with my friends and I could tell that I was such a different person. I was mean and angry and frustrated and it’s all I talked about. My friends offered me other stuff but it just made me more mad cuz it wasn’t what I wanted. I threw a total tantrum like a little kid and I’m embarrassed to admit it but I must accept my wrongs. After rushing my boyfriend to get me more, I confided in my two best friends that I don’t have a problem but I can feel it getting that way. I would try and hold off on it all day but as soon as I started I couldn’t stop, and I’d be hitting lines like everything 30 minutes. Ironically, after I told my friends I was gonna slow down and of course I gave up on that the next day and was like “okay just a little bit” which turns into me taking me more every thirty minutes. Until I finally got to the point where it was night time and my whole body was so amped up and I told myself I shouldn’t do one more, but stupid me did it anyways. I knew it was one too much, I couldn’t breathe, if I looked at one thing or sat down I felt like I was gonna pass out. I went to my sister (which I felt bad would probably disappoint her on how irresponsible I was being) but she was patient and helped me through it. Obviously I didn’t have to go to the hospital, so I feel blessed that it didn’t get to that point. So maybe it wasn’t as dramatic as it felt to me, but I didn’t know what was going to happen so I was sure I was gonna have a heart attack or pass out. I was really scared and afraid that I might die. 

It’s just frustrating because I know I have always had an obsessive personality and I’ve always had problems with self harming. It feels like whatever way I try to cope with my mental issues, I get obsessed and over do it. I’ve been struggling with self harm actively for about 5 years, and sometimes did it when I was younger. It’s been several several years that it’s been constant and a few years before that it was really me just experimenting with it as a coping mechanism. But now I find myself turning to these substances or drinking or anything of that nature has really helped me with that problem and I’m proud to say I haven’t self harmed in month! (Wish I knew the exact date so I could celebrate lol). 
But my only problem with this is that I can tell over the few months I’ve gained these nasty habits that I feel like I need it, or I’ll be rude and impatient and just not the person I know I am, especially to all the people I love. I just feel like I’m losing control over everything and it’s not a problem yet but I can see a clear path of my way towards it. I’m not sure what to do. 

I also wanna apologize if any of the things I said triggered anybody, or if I’m making a big deal about nothing to cause attention, or am unclear about what this page is really supposed to be about. I’m new to this page and felt as though it was a safe place for me to open up, even if it’s ridiculous to complain compared to all the problems in the world. I’m just afraid I’m adding a negative stigma because a lot of people seem to be so positive on their recovery back to health and I wanna apologize if my message puts any bad feelings into anyone’s thoughts. 

Thank you so much for reading, it’s good to just get my thoughts out without being judged or yelled at. My love and prayer go out to every single person struggling with these issues and of course any body struggling with all the million problems in the world. 

Once again, thank you so much. Stay safe everyone",3.2736011564672647,4.3600859386934685,4.4787182487781365,87.2291546774971,73.03015075376885,7.421904040751705,26.19295105665313,7.809484643483793,1.3341197081296898,3779,125,807,49,73,1244,353,995,0.16,0.688,0.151,-0.8778,2,0,3,0,1,0,72.0,1,2,1,13,44,74,8,11,37,3,83,12,5,17,18,202,168,94,1,32,42,3,12,9,4,11,2,5,0,9,70,60,2,12,27,4,0,15,20,40,0,6,66,19,118,34,123,74,27,113,1,4,2,3,53,52,0,20,51,573,188,1,0.0,0.05159309410051334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03859955849574076,0.0,0.043603511589571146,0.0,0.0,0.03482250880243643,0.14492999868494275,0.04718043114239045,0.0,0.08883522870623814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0304473162668927,0.0,0.07166680160214052,0.0,0.0,0.04953813780292809,0.0,0.03348302100908618,0.07271565199097353,0.05308862759865048,0.0,0.037053149404581855,0.0,0.04569725036895535,0.0,0.09507859906722232,0.0967362125340788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04473218082144696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047056118661309314,0.2441942121104444,0.17383363952912487,0.0,0.0,0.08424777114888875,0.04489245184854032,0.0,0.0,0.045192300486857635,0.04549471869719248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531403518915799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628216469702206,0.0,0.07337621308888323,0.041608621332173884,0.1174049256560364,0.04259486171494331,0.0,0.0,0.17613919924470192,0.09332456603253414,0.167238136572799,0.04770085471568099,0.07959774055626963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13456944391369116,0.0,0.13650117661106093,0.0,0.09898933689343743,0.0365230479381739,0.06965300479803911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07701248829014877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04628575116374633,0.0,0.0516004242058895,0.05837390063335132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908982579423421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572364034782327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03075675741303395,0.19146272202783748,0.0872860267328593,0.0,0.0,0.036566400315335916,0.14614542089821606,0.0,0.037019963854041514,0.07860119533482253,0.08240568885352431,0.05813256353181698,0.0,0.13123886342546845,0.04743270950492015,0.0,0.0,0.04388259895676203,0.046193817148076,0.0,0.0,0.10427037710619692,0.0,0.09603061997239806,0.032287683766185536,0.1007525734462141,0.08411106962217398,0.04631005363949208,0.04086354924751872,0.0,0.04178210761492236,0.0,0.0,0.04637345522710979,0.08852060962366125,0.06623508583627706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06037652606619909,0.15208545832811932,0.09098943739438496,0.0,0.08232722600937667,0.0,0.0,0.044300395617436095,0.04694831953769691,0.3333295295233059,0.0,0.04377423434176898,0.0,0.0,0.04355626860611652,0.0,0.1952699841066372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037186752138962914,0.08284155335828268,0.06925664420089281,0.1307868771952546,0.0,0.03469931670207152,0.039641263591054895,0.1817055775917052,0.09838574687155302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379020141259189,0.03352267182865739,0.043066608946344107,0.0,0.03082101049913478,0.04641262707214119,0.0,0.036405139127645966,0.0,0.13656645025982805,0.09969603445328087,0.0,0.0,0.08208032328681858,0.0,0.03274003342927198,0.03499940748674065,0.07611959811969794,0.08017982252785641,0.0,0.0,0.08678706256792784,0.0,0.042782235277798515,0.0691389140096452,0.02539113929156484,0.0,0.0,0.08321724266434775,0.048379524877844735,0.08869154063448947,0.09472779080662692,0.08507326887486519,0.0,0.0,0.0752169079059615,0.0,0.0,0.05136733072657877,0.10369075573522593,0.03492875918391458,0.0,0.0,0.080732347419138,0.03929212466586126,0.04861586227193338,0.05007400859175932,0.08395065901386298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09279825805562034,0.04760905845583379,0.0,0.11216488232579776
addiction,whenirip,2020/03/31,need advice!!! so i am addicted to marijuana and want to stop. the only reason i want to stop is because it gives me horrible derealization. i cant stay sober because i have really bad depression. i want to chose a different drug to use but i dont know which one. do any of u guys know the “safest” and also relatively cheap drug to get addicted to besides marijuana? i know drugs arent safe but u get what i mean. thanks,1.0504705882352925,3.4768216352941184,3.967352941176472,81.75808823529414,85.58823529411767,8.105882352941178,22.617647058823533,8.841846274778883,2.037729411764706,329,12,68,10,10,117,55,85,0.168,0.7040000000000001,0.127,-0.5378,2,0,3,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,0,7,5,0,2,0,17,20,6,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,2,0,3,5,0,1,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,9,2,8,20,0,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,37,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3328259832907993,0.0,0.14916956989798966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207558739633186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380845702730007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274578747336587,0.1861102379193577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314787695977507,0.0,0.0,0.15948863822247267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17890676990646834,0.0,0.5310828644646237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15950852756019504,0.14643751404905578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15114927951432922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25168030732951097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662825590041222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318937368316008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344080871942378,0.1160985708350837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977926504209922,0.15695147206302892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16270650528321803,0.0,0.2552474761922737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405412658225371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184214076662965,0.0,0.0,0.2701139559044353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,eyeluv2d,2020/03/31,"I hate when people call sober ""clean"" I feel like it further stigmatizes addiction. I wasn't ""dirty"" when I was using. If I relapse I dont want to think of myself as dirty. Idk. It annoys me everytime I hear or read someone call sobriety being clean.",0.3763775510204077,2.7680267142857176,2.4518112244897985,88.39363520408165,98.18367346938776,5.715306122448982,20.410714285714285,7.1686216300943375,1.1123653061224492,195,7,37,4,8,65,37,49,0.239,0.657,0.10400000000000001,-0.7024,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,6,10,5,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,2,9,1,3,7,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,3,22,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946785457113175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5520348633113693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3168021093346218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667720412679946,0.19311000718173654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668758385769573,0.0,0.0,0.30465978727287074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13206014663899301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18739939350246898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703838346402138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290333659803969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17320417210791111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334616421496875,0.0,0.0,0.15943624536209766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Coronavista,2020/04/01,"What can I expect out of therapy? I've finally decided that this problem is beyond my control. I thought for the longest time that I could handle this but I can't. The little slip ups are all too easy and I always find a justification for them. I'm a poly addict. Main vices being kratom, alcohol, weed, and occasionally lortab. For well over a year now I've tried to go 1 month sober and have been unable. The longest I've made it was 2 weeks on 2 occasions. My addiction is not destroying my life. I am a functioning addict but it is preventing me from achieving goals and making progress. I keep a journal (main focus of which being my addiction) and have yearly, monthly, and weekly goals. They all take a back seat though. Getting my fix always comes first before anything else.

So I've been researching and contacting therapists for a week now looking to set something up. I basically need someone to open up to about this shit and hold me accountable for my actions. Another problem I have, despite knowing that my addictions hold me back, is not being ready to quit everything 100%. My family and friends drink during social occasions and I have no problems hanging out and having a few with them. My problem is when I'm at home drinking alone. Also kratom. It's great when I have a lot to get done or need a little boost because I'm tired or unmotivated. But then I start using it as a crutch and take it everyday. In the back of my mind I still feel like moderate use is an achievable goal. However from reading this sub it seems like moderation is not possible for most addicts. Or it takes a tremendous amount of discipline that I currently lack. I don't want to quit forever but at the same time I'm tired of this problem consuming me. I'm going to remain stagnant as long as catching a buzz is my number 1 priority. I want to get this one month under my belt but beyond that, I don't know. I should probably go longer just can't fathom it.

Im just venting here. Back to my original question. What can I expect out of therapy sessions? How did they work for you? Especially if you are a poly addict I'd like to hear about your experience.",3.249148348197465,5.442225391408115,4.70644454214295,80.95880260017586,75.51551312649164,8.038211279989952,27.9714231880417,8.841846274778883,2.431702625298329,1705,71,319,38,38,568,224,419,0.11599999999999999,0.782,0.10099999999999999,-0.6619,2,1,4,0,0,0,44.0,0,3,4,11,22,13,2,0,20,0,33,14,1,8,2,73,65,31,0,15,14,0,1,3,1,1,11,1,1,0,22,18,3,6,9,3,1,7,8,7,1,2,7,3,43,6,46,53,10,52,0,0,1,0,12,17,1,8,30,219,65,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5481013614731839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675941760652624,0.0,0.07438936432324,0.0,0.05743867796532767,0.11952883075152446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753151046990555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059106113826904436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22091693300542892,0.0,0.04378404499170862,0.0,0.06111805235876745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06187114849622894,0.0,0.0,0.0805581975152081,0.0573466690588109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07350223383418206,0.0,0.14072292783252358,0.0,0.0,0.0600008337471052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06455196124782067,0.07025893966752655,0.06771051411456384,0.0,0.03631703706317697,0.05131201894928405,0.0,0.07868112111707418,0.06564703612422354,0.061094575725406684,0.0,0.0,0.055492059724821734,0.0,0.11257728685967726,0.0,0.12245994414306093,0.0,0.0,0.07918766267704719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08095234941873514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07204664660810345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07758366482354054,0.0,0.0,0.06384163960080941,0.0,0.0,0.07894662878544194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050732343678275005,0.10527066171782692,0.14397566840534193,0.0,0.06356314302145782,0.06031517441721149,0.0,0.0,0.06106331379408207,0.0,0.06796284913620873,0.04794395508587484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252309243509461,0.0,0.17199084207014614,0.0,0.0,0.1065151210450702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04867069188222126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097225001928653,0.0,0.0,0.07743983703869141,0.34363562823774346,0.0,0.0,0.08046079010859086,0.15279012600606334,0.07184475133689948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653870686475628,0.0,0.0,0.07372765306051601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321686284218487,0.060857355797954225,0.05529463608230583,0.0,0.0,0.05083832720581929,0.0,0.05735978884981451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16201109294455313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642770132789763,0.08339472593866132,0.0,0.0,0.07056800670796055,0.057021276657623174,0.08376383684560534,0.16510526591401928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0487646737311546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12406802092490098,0.0,0.0,0.0847288627100872,0.0,0.17284180429466747,0.0,0.06457958350719338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0522896843089334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250629515929076
addiction,throwaway1121131,2020/04/01,"I need help Hey guys, this is my first time on this sub so forgive me if this is the wrong place. I’m just trying to get some advice.

I have a heroin addiction. I’ve been opiates for about 7 years and heroin for 5, IV use for 3.

I’ve been meaning to stop every day for the last month. I have comfort meds up the ass (Xanax, 10 8mg subs, and can get a hold of any other otc med I need) and a safe comfortable place to stay. 

But I can’t stop. I have about .75g of dope left, and a line to get 2 more g’s tonight that have already been paid for. I keep telling myself I’m going to ween myself off but I never do. I can’t make it more than 8 hours without another shot even tho I’m not sick.

If you made it this far I’m grateful you’ve read this and if anyone can please give me some advice I would appreciate it more than you know. I’ve been through hellish detox’s throwing up every hour for 10 days and I don’t think I can do that again.

Anyway, if anything, thanks for listening. I hope everyone else is doing well out there. Thank you.",-0.6064284548866041,1.4278483832599136,1.4122369065100349,99.91205416870615,89.39647577092511,4.420231685429923,16.777451460270846,5.82211442006289,-0.7100744330233315,801,19,197,6,27,264,132,227,0.077,0.759,0.16399999999999998,0.9624,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,3,0,1,10,10,1,0,7,0,21,6,1,3,1,35,44,14,0,8,9,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,1,11,7,0,5,4,1,1,2,6,2,1,1,6,1,21,8,25,37,5,26,1,0,0,1,10,9,1,7,14,113,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14012908794126158,0.0,0.2512183162109916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14184861966151002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741255270995746,0.13478685458687625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08987912825183993,0.0,0.105778611095554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657971244854022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10737983682924926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490037544056045,0.0,0.2166033291420572,0.12282680615641525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933724021564772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014727119396896,0.12330861359553673,0.07305303387185727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12727618482127853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615858382385737,0.0,0.0,0.12767060335643182,0.2531747518687049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425349307879233,0.0,0.0,0.07064298600358251,0.10477838860671752,0.0,0.0,0.1396605957634574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12162897071491224,0.08580237560979685,0.0,0.0,0.1400192563296833,0.2855610122328537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10260051071656147,0.0,0.0,0.19062362309622385,0.09913904388262812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685967867067877,0.1410998453805026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285761745930148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700801819626252,0.0,0.2149327145944675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235084008566808,0.2366872826826792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08236413209694596,0.0,0.0,0.07495351790096509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727116577001884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11101848933296282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557414633155602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390931243648028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09131211504507028,0.14053983061732514,0.0,0.08277644042206543
addiction,CozyLaugh,2020/04/01,"Asthmatic smoker I'm 28m. Been smoking cigs/vape/pot since around 13. Not only that, I huffed everything - duster, gasoline, air freshener, etc. Quit huffing around 18 when I started smoking pot daily. Married at 23, just before going to navy bootcamp where I was diagnosed and separated for asthma. I've quit cigs at least 20x. I always last about a month before I cave. I've been hooked on meth, coke, and adderall at different times, always for about 3-5 months before I go cold turkey. No problem kicking those, but cigs are another story.

I quit again about a month ago when I started having nightly (I think allergy related) asthma attacks. Went to urgent care for it once. It wasn't getting much better and to top it off I caved again last week when I ran out of pot. It's been a periodic fight with my wife catching me throughout the years since I was diagnosed. Well, she caught me a few hours ago and said she doesn't have the energy to chastise me and it wouldn't matter anyway. I decided to grab a sixer and am currently in some woods drinking it... and smoking more. I normally drink only 2 or 3 times a year. 

I want it to go away and don't know what to do. The urge has gotten way worse since I was diagnosed with post-traumatic arthritis in my ankle and had to give up skateboarding about 6 months ago. I have no physical outlet. I was down to about 5 a week before I quit this last time. I'm at about 5 a day or more now. I need some help.",3.0781149425287366,4.803664506896556,4.340431034482759,85.4655890804598,74.6206896551724,7.454022988505748,25.186781609195403,8.212053250817874,1.552988505747126,1137,38,227,19,24,374,167,290,0.106,0.835,0.06,-0.9098,2,0,4,0,1,0,42.0,0,0,0,6,18,6,2,0,11,0,19,8,0,0,0,30,38,15,0,5,5,1,1,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,11,14,3,0,3,2,0,7,7,3,1,0,14,3,27,3,35,23,8,55,0,0,0,0,7,17,0,4,30,136,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478470924152521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15509883263635854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772775944735533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16593455669257767,0.0,0.10602783983895052,0.08756396009497568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31722350212086464,0.0,0.0,0.0824273481127083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502306033100634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06010594114847105,0.0,0.0,0.2837864685356765,0.0,0.09737359863492716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18259997771890335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10394203345492163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08376166462079067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04869287089851813,0.08940541393437071,0.15890220176909228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06246963311125873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09178269396004488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05121998553910317,0.22790999586177346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29756367744366713,0.0,0.06851232636542315,0.06910621825856067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746137919239444,0.09131568214533084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992543826164599,0.0,0.14176477728544787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925931944614289,0.0,0.0,0.08917929583487698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3965163891072418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865402840155506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312866678692332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319341141920647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05971845038844215,0.0,0.0,0.1630360628922587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05497145590028794,0.07397739283627545,0.1495179693374129,0.0,0.08379750685363566,0.08639683263863948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949782114354904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003479244723925
addiction,flyingtoadd123,2020/04/01,"My dads addiction and how I can help My dad has had opiate and alcohol abuse problems for years. 

It came to the point where he couldn’t work (he was a tax driver and the risk of him drinking and driving was too high). 
For about 2 months he stayed at home living off of me and my mom and bought opiates and alcohol daily. 
It came to a head when he realized that he can’t get anymore because of the quarantine so I pushed him to get on suboxone. 
He started taking is just over 2 weeks ago and somehow quit alcohol and the opiates all together. 

We were still nervous about him going for a walk to the near test grocery store and getting some beers (a 5 min walk) so we would kinda stay on top of in terms of who he’s calling and where he was going. 

Skip forward today he took some cash that was lying around and went for a walk and ended up getting beer. Once my mom took him to get his suboxone dose for the day he forced my mom to get more alcohol. 

I’m worried he’s going to spiral back and I want to know what I can do to help him. 

Sorry for the rambling I just really need some guidance. It sucks seeing him like this and I want him to get sober.",2.859916666666667,3.9805924916666697,4.114166666666666,89.31416666666668,74.08333333333334,7.166666666666668,25.0,7.594959193182576,1.0838749999999997,898,28,196,11,18,295,134,240,0.098,0.853,0.05,-0.914,0,1,7,0,1,0,15.0,2,0,0,3,16,5,1,2,12,0,14,10,1,1,1,37,39,19,0,6,2,5,0,1,0,1,6,0,1,0,8,20,7,0,2,3,4,14,2,4,0,0,12,1,22,1,32,25,6,43,0,0,1,0,30,15,1,5,15,120,30,3,0.0,0.12301669457472605,0.0,0.11318553862345695,0.0,0.0,0.09203538149774523,0.4438331772799162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10296737788730577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242704895206276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798356958566846,0.0,0.06329129509049526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601783579459284,0.2374983030836748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06695910575314218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017098392020809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09195891589620564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3797131732294052,0.0,0.17701992730438165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065553105520989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13918460271753574,0.10969774667652736,0.10414582690150298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05705999045777298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050724082379143685,0.0,0.09168015757815604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3647988608057894,0.08287282989641377,0.0,0.0,0.07698557726838615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057117774200982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09814901968710543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09934734880946418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11043160760723424,0.0,0.0,0.06651351977915973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08273578701006712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11622457656935455,0.07348849494604674,0.2213291553253615,0.08291548492400813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07806414333066716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09841479780516486,0.0,0.2307087543140379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247839260812253,0.0,0.08328286130757616,0.0,0.0,0.09624763447422276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07558647997032389,0.10544022483227712,0.0,0.07375492894491394,0.0,0.0,0.066860465105084
addiction,Stop_With_The_Games,2020/04/01,"Whats going on? What happened? What going on? I feel like I'm waking up from a terrible nightmare. These 3 years just seemed to have flown by. With so many people trying to deceive me I don't know who to believe. Is this what you wanted? To teach me a lesson? No... Somethings not right... Who are you? Who are these people. Why do you keep playing these games with me? I just want the truth, closure. Please. I have this feeling you're not who you say you are. If my hunch is right... When did I go astray... When did this all happen. Whats going on. You owe me that much... Why would you lie to me about something so life changing... Why would you lie? Give up the pipe, no more games... Please let the world see that beautiful face so bright and full of life. Please come back. Drugs/Dick/Drugs/Pussy are overrated choose love and happiness. Till then Ill see you on the other side... You may be a B\*\*\*\* in everyone else eyes but in mine you're screaming out for help. I'm sorry I've been gone for so long. I saved you once right? Ill do it again. It cant be to hard right? 

It feels like I'm losing my mind. Who are you really though... Did the Crystal meth change us. Or did it help me see the real you...

Please You don't need meth... Can we try giving it up together? One step at a time.",-0.7171603773584891,1.4553579962264185,0.6194103773584914,102.42156839622642,97.33962264150944,3.706603773584906,13.794811320754715,5.518913224919472,-1.1766962264150944,979,19,231,7,40,306,149,265,0.07,0.769,0.161,0.9646,1,0,6,0,0,0,75.0,2,14,0,2,12,11,0,0,10,0,26,8,3,0,2,33,53,14,0,6,7,0,4,2,0,3,4,2,0,0,24,7,0,1,7,3,1,7,7,3,0,1,6,11,31,8,26,41,4,34,0,1,5,1,29,18,0,4,11,143,55,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759371912808633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11126408125588057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20894129532158146,0.08506946342604486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249788239008797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09436549456445027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14980185100539484,0.1411024694196098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18947131607706905,0.22450101525793986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746590324904461,0.10512749193449036,0.08846588878626861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13238799620267253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777878150121639,0.0,0.0,0.05427365996351298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10098459869190032,0.13950842549236342,0.0964942887974788,0.0,0.0,0.08739586385466791,0.0,0.11048259134640724,0.0,0.0,0.08913105545979852,0.0,0.0,0.10012298227333526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997153068821243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259694951743846,0.07322624853663919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10517181048209408,0.06691955367932564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13692981309896798,0.0,0.0,0.4336172895464694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124058346457842,0.06326555834498476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3373479961111249,0.0,0.07853465547100318,0.0,0.0,0.2360869990499439,0.08990366237001664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15205423323107956,0.0,0.11054914481271404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09702717036289757,0.0,0.0575853594781478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340975472180967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11879118823611627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649757702308465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673355178231989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14030671586430382,0.0,0.0,0.06359556177635721
addiction,AmbitiousCause1,2020/04/01,"Meth & Relapse - Please read!! I'm 22 years old I've spent 3 years using meth,
1 year smoking it and 2 years IV. 

I managed to clean my self up on my own for 3 months, 
then relapsed and used for another year almost daily.

Trying to keep a long story short so somebody might take the time to read this. I won't get into every detail, this is the first time I've posted in these groups but I really need help. 

I got to a stage of shooting upto 10 times a day, I worn my body out so much and messed myself up to the point I was sick when needing to use, then sick from using. I couldn't get out of bed, mentally & physically I had no limit with it. Every day, all day, barley any breaks or rest in 3 years! I don't know how I survived it.

After getting to that point I made the decision to be admitted in an inpatient withdrawal detox unit.
While being on the waiting list my GP told me in the mean time I didn't have an option for my withdrawals other than to use if I really need to and try to go back to smoking it. My arms, hands were that badly scared. 

I lasted 4 days and self discharged, relapsed straight as I left and used for another 3 months. During that time I was seeing a therapist weekly, managed to get myself through a deathly detox at home and stayed clean for a month. 

I got through a month and I knew I couldn't handle going back through it all again. I left my state and enrolled into a 12 month residential program at one of the top listed strictest rehabs. It was too intense and didn't feel like the right program for me. I did 1 month there then came back home on another waiting list, 2 months have gone by now..

I made it to the 3 month mark, till I relapsed 2 days ago. I can't get any further than that, it's a cycle I can not break and I have so much support in my life.. I'm too scared to tell anyone because I will lose everything again. I'm even ashamed to tell my therapist. I don't know whether these 2 days on it are going to turn into another 2 years.

Even at 3 months clean I feel as bad as day 1. Even if I'm sick to death, underweight, broke, lying to the ones I love.. that's my normal. Clean/sober is impossible for me because of how madly this stuff has taken over me. 

If anyone might have advice on what my next step should be.. I really need a plan for the moment. I'm on the waiting list for a 10 week residential program but I'm doubting and lost hope that it will even be enough to help me. No idea how long it's going to take.

We all are masking underlying issues with something, my problem is I have blocked everything so far out. I have no memories just still feel pain. 
PTSD/depression..Abusive relationship which started when my addiction to meth did.

The way I was raised, the family and lifestyle I have I was the type of person who never should have ended up on this side of the fence..

My partner was dealing but never used in his life, he stopped that lifestyle but Im still left behind stuck in that world alone. 

I'm still young. I can't live like this or it's going to kill me. I just don't see a way out when I have tried everything.

Prescribed Seroquel 100mg, melatonin 2mg and Deptrum 25mg
at night. It just gets me to sleep then I wake up dead inside. 

I don't think I am able to admit to myself or even process I've relapsed again.. I can't believe I did it after how much I tried to get there. And after everything I put myself and family through. 

I wonder if this just the way I am going to be forever? But this time I can't drag anybody down with me through it. People have done so much to help me. I feel like I would rather suffer through it alone than pass on the pain of disappointment over & over again. Why did I ever do it to myself?",2.227143782383422,3.7501074235751295,3.619815414507773,90.59493037564768,76.44818652849742,6.483031088082902,23.072862694300518,7.1686216300943375,0.6865002590673575,2889,85,634,32,64,949,311,772,0.172,0.773,0.055,-0.9985,0,2,4,1,0,1,88.0,1,0,0,7,38,23,2,4,32,0,58,18,5,13,6,105,126,50,4,17,19,0,5,3,1,8,12,0,6,4,39,28,0,8,14,2,1,11,19,17,0,3,28,7,82,6,103,83,10,138,0,5,2,1,20,48,0,14,73,405,121,8,0.04880752234314858,0.05782893291151546,0.0,0.053207403614910616,0.0,0.04769414595668897,0.04326492367981667,0.0,0.0488736833946679,0.10109974713784173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15864879020170214,0.0,0.0663815777491955,0.20471577113223935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06825470890749746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125899159199705,0.08150448492991766,0.05950522521067875,0.0,0.0,0.054989363982745836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05421415445494365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055822803088249766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203376991602528,0.05031841240467192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04994704096685487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04322897795589067,0.05043121765359188,0.0,0.16118454096471707,0.04414919824276617,0.08224488525056052,0.0,0.1754602158192547,0.0,0.09202277661374043,0.0,0.0987141991946222,0.06973620742829888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041515653571747836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784994117766948,0.0,0.16643063830443075,0.0,0.07807166853966976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981439602245901,0.0,0.09791584886460897,0.04847688243994197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055097751853376745,0.052720499543484914,0.050942372733844506,0.0,0.04338236842877982,0.0539982920366445,0.0,0.05364667570562731,0.039784644962896326,0.0,0.0,0.1590885475041418,0.0,0.06894839288176745,0.07153467016104509,0.0,0.0430979364242616,0.08638624278105626,0.0,0.05460313302127282,0.053279176196882515,0.0,0.04405069448758985,0.09236571551521387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05316570024716035,0.0,0.0,0.049186502870125035,0.10355413643456286,0.0,0.0,0.35061928815038923,0.0,0.14351657915084648,0.1447606375182986,0.0752867402386925,0.0,0.05190735372120712,0.04580255340680674,0.04782100907807558,0.0,0.0,0.05121528439015642,0.0,0.06614648057664786,0.0,0.10386928991859846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03383699055255781,0.0426168459161397,0.0,0.05357600290889534,0.09227776919934803,0.0,0.04674411475942857,0.0,0.0,0.046702207282520974,0.057053381754738834,0.04906504068299187,0.0,0.0,0.09764146070371063,0.0,0.09380204580317264,0.0,0.0,0.05240101329120829,0.0,0.04168135740127755,0.0,0.0,0.0977296888132132,0.0,0.07778655235253885,0.0,0.10183378065800414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048842770552075074,0.0,0.0,0.03757441521955337,0.0,0.0,0.03454621552541942,0.0520223247703094,0.11693325117145588,0.04080527413505287,0.0,0.0,0.055872935985492214,0.0,0.055386197959697486,0.0,0.0,0.07339436526189286,0.0,0.08531985161308116,0.0,0.0,0.11333859055970293,0.0,0.03127388955611412,0.0,0.0,0.1707603526679247,0.0,0.0,0.04663767919929798,0.0,0.13254841544435325,0.0530885688764884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.295078199694903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11622341829847835,0.07830090079861983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044041197390221734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05292967599163333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03467146351634539,0.0,0.0,0.22001310920057
addiction,xa08zo09ma10,2020/04/01,"Coming off suboxone Right now I'm at about 72 hours clean off suboxone. I want forced to stop taking it, no one asked me to or even suggested it, but I woke up one morning shortly after my job shutting down due to Covid 19 that as shitty as things are in the world right now, maybe it's the only time where I won't be living a cycle that I've been stuck in for quite a while of buying something, whether that be opiates or suboxone or methadone or Xanax just so I can be well enough to go to work to make money to buy more drugs so I can go to work to make money, you get the point.

I've thought a lot these past few days, but mostly been insanely surprised at how mild the withdrawal symptoms are, when I've gone through withdrawals plenty of times, from less than what I've been taking and being fine with for months now. I've decided there are more than likely a couple of reasons for that. Reason 1) this is the first time I've truly decided on my own that it was time to do this instead of having the loss of my children as the main driving factor, unfortunately, that was enough to get me clean, not enough to keep me clean (I honestly can't say I'll stay clean this time, I'm just saying the withdrawal is different) 2) Its also the first time I've decided to get clean that I'm not sitting in a government housing apartment surrounded by all of my drug addicted friends doing and/or selling my DOC and I'm actually at a pretty good place mentally and physically.

I do think having a pretty long moment of not having to worry about work helps too, I just thought it was a really good time. I'm not saying it's been a walk in the park and I feel great three days in, I'm just saying it's better than past withdrawals have been for me.

I'm not saying anyone else should try to take this time of being told to stay at home to do the same, but I do think that a lot of us are tired, a lot of us are still dying and it's not due to the corona virus, a lot of us are still putting ourselves at risk so we can get our meds or get our fix, and maybe some of us can take this moment to try to take our lives back from the still very real opiate epidemic. Maybe we could stop watching so many of our far too young friends die.

Thanks for listening, wherever you are in your life, good luck and I hope you're okay.",5.622037422037423,4.823519987525991,6.099012474012473,84.28619022869023,67.41995841995842,9.312681912681915,28.687110187110186,8.502166056373571,1.752191683991684,1818,49,399,23,26,590,225,481,0.063,0.758,0.17800000000000002,0.996,2,0,4,0,0,0,35.0,10,3,0,8,27,18,0,1,25,1,39,7,0,5,1,60,76,27,2,4,19,0,1,1,2,2,7,6,6,1,25,11,0,3,10,0,5,7,9,2,1,5,14,8,33,16,68,54,17,71,0,1,1,0,26,27,0,13,35,261,58,5,0.0,0.0,0.06564099629264067,0.07332884502766142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05379184486341645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04703329454026802,0.06892100386291207,0.0,0.0,0.06288375178351284,0.0,0.0,0.0517226797729536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05949048008891394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05794289387091332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053705677684770886,0.07442751043397278,0.0,0.08676079910345337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13962102676759794,0.07027767195489723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15601223069633044,0.0,0.056191327080128986,0.0,0.0,0.2085083668416498,0.0,0.04442793830272238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034011235857145064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443125280150508,0.0,0.0,0.1039376383164992,0.0,0.17571609016824233,0.0,0.07645656841547974,0.16925622502752405,0.0,0.07415996705898373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04508635240436814,0.0,0.06747234049523063,0.06680938287442573,0.06624253542732987,0.07761484904653722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675019372926777,0.0597882767306358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04751130174595283,0.03286231104421064,0.0,0.11879256217572882,0.059527462148508486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287453972697745,0.0,0.0,0.0897999008847234,0.0681962140380333,0.20273038400208426,0.0,0.07471631878722601,0.0,0.06778736043051856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053690329828217656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911610921373912,0.05115810985983298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284242235724523,0.0,0.0,0.07027767195489723,0.0,0.06358722449690303,0.0,0.0,0.13686549823052174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06761996489358407,0.0,0.07154467203912017,0.0,0.0765623654487287,0.04309172040393062,0.13831937107767675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11488798887996575,0.0,0.2674593810681008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05178393011959527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14339120994025215,0.16115389346548367,0.11247320560937916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991415355998072,0.2528747726136326,0.0,0.0,0.06192863068919585,0.0,0.0,0.04468791754103363,0.08620146990332875,0.0,0.10680188947706458,0.3137823833259687,0.0773112923624493,0.0,0.0642746482276526,0.0,0.09133712185175373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32364634431948897,0.0,0.0,0.05550071977229689,0.039674675669815626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060479367917554684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14690929627598998,0.06831093442184194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Blake_82390,2020/04/01,"Broken  When I was a kid, like most, I had a favorite toy. I had a   model Bobby Labonte, green, Interstate Battery, NASCAR. I was never a big fan of NASCAR, but my dad was and he bought me that car, along with others alike. But that one was my favorite. One day I decided to build a ramp on my kitchen floor right in front of the steps leading to the basement. I rolled the car as fast as I could across the floor, and off the ramp it went. It flew down the stairs crashing hard into the cement basement floor. Like today I didn’t think about the repercussions of my actions, It never once crossed my mind that this would destroy the car. I just simply wanted to do it. And that was all the convincing I have ever needed to do anything in my life. I have always put very little thought into the consequences of my actions. When I saw the wheels fly of the car, I knew I had broken my favorite toy. At first I thought maybe I’ll be able to just pop them back on. But when I took a closer look, I saw the plastic was broken. Meaning there was no fixing it. My stomach dropped and I ran to my dad in hopes of him buying me a new one. He  told me he wouldn’t and that I needed to start thinking before I acted. I was devastated I had this hopeless feeling like it was broken forever and I’d never get it back. That feeling is so familiar now. I constantly feel like I’ve broken myself and there is no amount of begging or manipulating or tinkering that would fix my broken brain. It just always seems so impossible, to get myself to be happy again, to be free of this giant gorilla on my back weighing me down. Addiction is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemies. It is  truly crippling. And I don’t know what to do....I want to be free but the hill to climb just seems so very impossible. 

Im not sure what is compelling me to start a reddit account and write this to the world. Maybe I’m just desperate. Desperate to hear that one piece of advise that will click, that will change my perspective and give me the power to finally rod myself of addiction. I wish I could take a pill like my addiction that would make all the bad go away.",3.3012878787878783,4.641814583333336,4.374713804713807,87.01439393939398,73.30555555555556,7.2734006734006735,25.35942760942761,7.793537801064563,1.263846296296296,1668,53,347,22,33,544,197,432,0.149,0.716,0.135,-0.8705,1,0,1,0,0,1,46.0,0,0,1,4,20,15,1,0,27,0,37,9,2,4,7,67,75,24,0,14,12,2,4,5,0,7,5,1,1,1,27,14,2,0,13,2,5,18,10,4,0,5,25,10,53,13,47,37,6,65,0,1,5,0,13,25,0,6,26,242,80,2,0.09653935039474827,0.0,0.0,0.3157264250207761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16065694626909513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07944365968913236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09070189757695124,0.2226984043052757,0.08060632512825491,0.0,0.0,0.08214787672679559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10776984252062084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212583205659433,0.0,0.0,0.10432474154417498,0.0,0.15415763162353968,0.0,0.0,0.06225989450342019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732536941416595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14643958872752075,0.13793546242296495,0.0,0.10575413955127924,0.0,0.08211632212862288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10087565213301763,0.0926093416595662,0.05486553757953834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10276793363713582,0.08648029569280301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880686416115448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09588535773259814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10427906466202984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053055502254828114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06818859819158689,0.2358212510596501,0.09675779089288494,0.0,0.0,0.08106874027489358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06444076602883582,0.0,0.19397350648430087,0.1051596540602365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09747722362343124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14316541014407735,0.2233712954598013,0.09323830618601693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10281125746685174,0.26167024914202897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704871149422016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244407775506611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17577159766989786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432070841980422,0.0,0.0,0.13666209818942482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098719525076754,0.0,0.07258557702645445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123717035289671,0.0,0.15328292132669658,0.0,0.0,0.0915080161242664,0.09224748640515487,0.10725877043193216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15931014898868318,0.1138828202222869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949294500229574,0.0,0.0,0.22203097718347745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20573635401345428,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,notsofunson,2020/04/01,"Helping Others (Long Post) Possibly Part 1 Hey, world of Reddit,

I have long had the idea in my head to write a blog about my problems with addiction, and how in the end I managed to overcome them. Since I was not entirely sure of how to go about this and with my end goal of getting some things off my chest and helping others I thought this would be a good place to start.

It all started with alcohol, I wish I could tell 23 years old me how much alcohol would be a gateway to the next almost 8 years of my life and how it would begin a struggle and personal battle which at some points I was not even sure I was involved in. 

Some background I had recently moved country (Germany to spain) and found myself living in a new culture as a scuba instructor one which involved hanging out with our students every day after work and as the Spanish do drinking a lot of beers, 1 beer a day soon turned into 4 and then 6. But everything was fine right?. I remember once counting and it was 120+ days in a row I had drunk 4 or more beers. Did i realize i had a problem **no.**

From there, things started to escalate I started taking what I considered to be party drugs and I suppose believed that this was not really a problem, everyone else in the club taking ecstasy and cocaine somehow validated my actions and made them explainable to myself.

This then leads to a three-year slippery downslope were my once a month party night became tri-weekly and eventually getting to the lowest 6 months of my life at which point I dread to think the number of weeks that passed when I was taking 6 - 10g of cocaine per week and most worryingly working as normal pretending everything was okay and being able to function whilst heavily sleep deprived and under the effects of all of these drugs.

To free myself from my own personal hell I ended my relationship of 3 years, changed my entire friendship group and tried to get professional help. In the end, I quit my job and moved to a completely different part of the country.

I'm now 8 months clean, and somehow feel like I'm on the road to recovery. I'm happy to answer any questions anyone has and hope someone reading this might find it helpful in someway.",6.364376470588237,6.5454044494117705,6.69929411764706,77.31082352941179,65.68235294117648,9.529411764705884,34.64705882352941,9.281916038205594,3.114458823529412,1741,75,320,29,25,564,233,425,0.077,0.8029999999999999,0.12,0.9329999999999999,3,0,10,0,0,0,36.0,1,0,2,6,13,17,2,2,25,1,26,15,3,7,4,73,50,32,0,10,5,0,1,1,0,4,7,0,1,2,20,26,7,0,12,9,1,7,4,8,0,1,17,1,39,10,57,24,12,63,1,1,0,0,19,21,1,12,35,219,59,9,0.076672748386308,0.0,0.0,0.08358461306379852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638797007064375,0.07677668215332957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0521400981232627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05361136840190246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863839315368163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110960134908438,0.0,0.0803899179229608,0.0,0.0,0.06121695066814849,0.0,0.0,0.14834273919286184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801067031010619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07511010379841268,0.17783209228310856,0.0,0.06405024284457507,0.0,0.27163718957141736,0.0,0.0,0.05064162719124438,0.0,0.06460009738398663,0.07326409682156479,0.13781704472451567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038768045342438995,0.05477502676711795,0.0,0.0,0.070077502981131,0.0,0.0,0.08406771111919502,0.0,0.0,0.12017503944257445,0.0,0.043574889832118775,0.06430946363252704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161956638118786,0.0,0.0,0.07868835993279699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055685082046823,0.0,0.0,0.0761533393098382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655420028913248,0.0,0.0,0.07608587197425233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831245933560812,0.03745843197143479,0.0,0.06770344153497833,0.13570593914239576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06518442883461004,0.0,0.07254960839262345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133766954391616,0.0,0.0,0.1835983687837888,0.16298199501058502,0.05636329214343525,0.0,0.0,0.07405101816963247,0.08154233774220424,0.07195218040613165,0.07512301425268596,0.0,0.0,0.08045515168689776,0.1633079494072228,0.05195543861288696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16605822959517122,0.0,0.0,0.13389537297030704,0.0801067031010619,0.0,0.14496106009496307,0.08643700351342483,0.0734312986488543,0.0,0.0,0.22009639597453906,0.0,0.0,0.08589102557546155,0.0815509057439867,0.07669349712092181,0.0,0.04911852593419745,0.0,0.07570508916219261,0.0823178377918294,0.08685527746265287,0.06547810818912728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06342448977947382,0.0,0.07672812052823087,0.0,0.06496457089524588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21707746376119602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08015500405182265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445263159387798,0.0,0.17294509423569954,0.0,0.06701536157781636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10187593422166172,0.049128801256057314,0.0,0.060869597789625224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10411152644583424,0.08339793311035734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845067617798241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881698767287383,0.0,0.0,0.11163734798651644,0.07786489777007016,0.0,0.16339836181503958,0.0,0.0,0.19749894458392836
addiction,Sevc977,2020/04/01,"Social distancing is fucking with me I’ve been quarantined for 3 weeks. Out of fear. I had my drinking under control for about a year, but all this free time. It’s too much. I just want to not be sober and blackout and just wake up when this is over. No one close to me knows I’m drinking like this again, and I don’t know how to break the news. My girlfriend is struggling with covid and I don’t want to add this to her problems. I just need to fucking sleep, it’s been so long. I can’t stay sober more than a day and it makes me so sad. I know I shouldn’t be doing it, I know I’m hurting everyone around me. I’m just selfish and an addict and I’m self medicating. Thanks for reading, hope everyone else is doing okay and coping. Stay safe, stay home, stay sober. Good luck guys.",-0.0064545454545452685,2.2079481575757605,1.5014393939393962,98.99215909090911,88.63636363636364,4.512121212121213,18.553030303030305,5.985473137389443,-0.3871151515151516,606,17,142,5,20,194,97,165,0.138,0.6809999999999999,0.18100000000000002,0.7829999999999999,0,1,2,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,12,16,2,2,4,1,15,8,2,3,1,37,31,13,0,6,6,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,1,2,8,14,2,2,4,3,1,0,6,8,0,1,3,0,16,9,19,25,3,18,0,2,0,2,5,6,2,2,8,87,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14293708234197475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167220907137052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470590690820791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455973553673017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568898436642492,0.0,0.0,0.10953158123147083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505761732031043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475432828463933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424314445047556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10997487170987456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12982662470191267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13152122449950593,0.13022894684262365,0.0,0.0,0.14036365549397606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2882342975502602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06405723229244928,0.0,0.0,0.11603458032811592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08752173733418908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13208676695112712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09638621553492964,0.09722172930381094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884839607327298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12546143570935242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13115266448263455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13678381674527595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13121187357196445,0.13365745538992851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5590138825891409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13707214754385105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12071508532294735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07645548342198442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15467262251214636,0.0,0.10517429478335502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443516656259062
addiction,throwaway97835,2020/04/01,"Anxious and lonely Like most of the population im feeling anxious and alone due to the covid-19 bullshit. A few months before all this I went to detox for alcoholism, got a new job that i loved and started college again. All that is gone now and I've been drinking for weeks. I've been feeling hopeless and im sick of starting over constantly. Am I alone?",2.6791428571428604,5.095863485714286,3.312857142857143,89.12214285714286,78.42857142857143,5.7142857142857135,30.0,6.868970318607317,1.6510000000000002,284,14,55,3,7,89,47,70,0.261,0.62,0.11900000000000001,-0.8807,1,4,2,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,4,0,4,5,0,0,2,10,12,5,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,5,2,0,2,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,5,2,3,2,7,7,4,12,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,1,10,32,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20630822988904074,0.0,0.39987635536186655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43617568048474975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16426853654672552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20861491863108664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18911228778957528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19522043978305792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15439709374395424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4170471600005575,0.0,0.19156907779189716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431287415259712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742321980176669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15408804674411947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18644572102831455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.273278918037562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15485043098185722,0.0,0.0,0.17895623955900095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,sukka13,2020/04/01,"this might sound weird but i think i might be addicted to breaking my own.. idk what to call it other than... sub addictions...?

like i like the high forcing myself into existential crises... but i feel as though i may be so proficient in my ability to do it that I'll need to quit, and do it successfully and move on a new addiction...fuck",2.4309452736318384,4.366921074626866,4.263507462686569,84.38441542288558,77.05970149253731,8.645771144278607,24.59950248756219,9.2995712137729,2.071618905472637,260,9,55,7,6,88,50,67,0.042,0.76,0.19699999999999998,0.9153,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,2,0,7,2,0,0,0,11,10,7,0,1,2,0,1,2,0,3,2,1,0,0,7,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,8,3,9,5,1,7,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,3,3,40,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5055622878053956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23677326743481686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172444363779415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.214367387579939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449917385708689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22656766444114135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4919716296107566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24644951758569025,0.0,0.1719345291155342,0.0,0.22394912644737053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24663069534737656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14857799928553125,0.2278188652448911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Exciting-Serve,2020/04/01,"I need help. Please. I don’t know what to do. I’ve always been a person who felt “the mind is the body’s greatest weapon”. And that I have control of my own mind. Well, I’m really fucking wrong. I’ve stolen money from my own family, I’ve stolen happiness from my family, and I’m ruining not only my life, but my fiancé’s and kids lives too. I’ve got a cocaine problem and I want out. Emotionally and physically. I’ve got a cocaine problem and I want to get over it before it kills me. Someone please help. I’m seeking ideas, advice, or anything I can do to actually start recovery. I’m scared. That’s all. Thanks for reading if you did.",0.11485294117646914,2.4381542196969725,2.7245989304812857,89.35836898395725,90.13636363636364,5.833155080213904,20.64349376114082,7.285733465282438,0.8118194295900172,495,17,105,9,17,171,80,132,0.183,0.6509999999999999,0.166,-0.6597,0,0,2,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,1,2,11,3,1,5,0,8,3,1,1,1,23,23,9,1,6,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,6,7,0,1,3,1,1,0,2,8,1,0,5,1,13,3,9,18,4,3,0,1,0,1,6,2,1,2,1,57,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.14505939955376662,0.0,0.0,0.14525750003671062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12368738013733112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12232497086073026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12648884336644886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16511486650543036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16672182496212812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16720944701772106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802649719210232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14272577906183165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13742305424726514,0.07766265587470514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377754160031597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15823899020729254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19927178370936507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16780595461615758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16445743497782767,0.0,0.08169327536922456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10499476382960432,0.0,0.0,0.13125926413305114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.300185026369128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11022090807917828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130538096266677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12979405277221376,0.0,0.3263426187177265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844728945231837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14868863041004488,0.0,0.09522797398847192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14882298436860975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12594931036148155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10521410546922792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13685547889785574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17535336010124294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13365276718835256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625236946012316,0.0,0.0
addiction,DaBigBurner,2020/04/01,"I did what I thought was Impossible Hello friends! I posted this in another sub and thought it’d be good to post on here as well.


So the other day was the my 3 year anniversary. My DOC was Xanax, but I used other opiods, alcohol, and weed very excessively. I honestly never thought I would see this day, but if I can anyone can. I could go on with war stories but I’m sure thats not gonna help anyone. To whoever is out there struggling right now, I promise you this gets better and that youll be able to live drug free. I was a very heavy drug user, and in a lot of peoples eyes I was a lost cause. I lost friends, family and a lot of other very important stuff that I thought didn’t matter to me, but today life is good. The only drug I use now is Nicotine and thats gonna go tomorrow or the next day. Recovery is scary and can be very tough, but my toughest days in recovery have still managed to be better than my toughest days in addiction. If anyone needs any help or words of encouragement please feel free to dm me. Adios Y Vaya Con Dios friends!",3.6179969418960236,4.3611600963302735,4.855064220183486,86.13962996941898,71.88990825688073,8.382140672782874,27.37737003058104,8.648137234880735,1.763505443425076,823,28,180,14,15,273,122,218,0.121,0.655,0.22399999999999998,0.9788,0,0,4,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,0,4,7,19,1,1,8,0,23,8,1,3,2,36,40,18,1,5,10,0,1,0,3,4,7,0,0,0,13,9,1,0,5,0,2,2,3,5,1,0,13,3,22,16,19,17,2,25,0,2,2,0,9,8,0,6,13,110,35,1,0.10084349630997004,0.0,0.0,0.10993429603698228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077710290897817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685770355616165,0.10574319858742334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115363520440261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17837575505272998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035940493298561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805153260935337,0.0,0.0,0.32517856272815393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35083932008523844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09506627347970274,0.0,0.050989501742357606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23373430528792324,0.0,0.05268656466014077,0.0,0.11462336578448078,0.16916548043505375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351865397738036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07122874374022506,0.0,0.0,0.089046654780202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201651774262942,0.17146706873036432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477417473054074,0.07777672115859842,0.0,0.10724820237017543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07669602312571296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991218296100113,0.0,0.0,0.11069587621475636,0.0,0.0,0.19316038749575912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611979484921173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08035921030756532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805337464179967,0.0,0.0,0.10542351781365213,0.11544167667980618,0.0,0.0,0.09504380183838944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3202338869690807,0.0,0.0,0.09558784318132447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741928053799137,0.0,0.3328257825641014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09067041399970166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07163632643734573,0.0,0.0,0.06493990533972101
addiction,ddub1776,2020/04/01,"I think I’m on a slippery slope with cocaine I used it for the first time like 5 years Ago. I would use it every few months, then once a month, then bi weekly and now I’m using it every weekend. Since the quarantine started I’ve been working from home and using it more. today will be the 5th day in a row. I just graduated college and Am living with my parents and I feel ashamed of myself and extremely guilty. I have a good job, I exercise daily and I have good habits.  I used to hate the drug but now I feel like I might be slipping.

If anyone could give me advice it would be helpful. I don’t want to seek professional help but I know I need to stop or at least slow down. Currently sitting in the bathroom with some lined up next to me debating on if I should just throw everything away. I’ve quit for weeks at a time before but I just keep coming back. I still have a pretty low tolerance but I don’t want this to get out of hand.",1.2553272775848257,3.193574741116752,2.949115682607537,92.38617953513227,80.77664974619289,5.9747795885653225,21.028319529788934,7.0608816371341465,0.4195644670050762,732,21,163,9,19,242,121,197,0.062,0.779,0.159,0.9573,3,1,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,3,7,7,1,1,11,0,16,4,1,5,0,41,36,15,0,9,10,1,3,2,0,5,2,0,1,0,6,11,0,2,4,2,0,2,2,3,0,1,1,3,22,4,23,26,4,37,0,1,0,1,4,11,0,5,25,105,28,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053545228488186,0.10934166110350936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624865844341982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11589067383786085,0.09484795367027747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049611203573881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062544504173968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984843332023112,0.0,0.0,0.0795500570531506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14304596063118086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20785411381088356,0.0,0.11085834564991684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12473816658410007,0.08812072356464395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10492080274835663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06444488820981296,0.11832783321321727,0.0,0.20691898486681887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12178184000164415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16535679445779472,0.0,0.12372934761712122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224050901868826,0.10963847438427578,0.0,0.0,0.06778951787531994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205244186535522,0.0,0.10891964108469154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13085405368664366,0.0,0.0,0.1969123772566629,0.0,0.0,0.09146190044036637,0.0,0.0,0.13118331887898207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13136291769246294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13696473651615815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12549052458430535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13119710287072314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10203576814024937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873072287921625,0.0,0.09850686448250498,0.10312549003275284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07903721403831909,0.0,0.0,0.14385187062471874,0.0,0.11692065914287933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5326707075169671,0.0,0.0,0.14550915831633712,0.0,0.19788664421511976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979971770014154,0.0,0.0,0.17524752577041827,0.0,0.0,0.07943286807500452
addiction,TimothyR8,2020/04/01,"I have a weird addiction lol, is this normal? I like setting alarms for anywhere from 3-5am because I like the feeling of waking up and not needing to get up and going back to sleep that feeling feels so good to me. I also stay up on average to 1-2am. 

Is this normal/will this start to have negative effects?",4.4626190476190475,4.8134018888888885,5.723928571428572,82.07732142857144,69.7936507936508,8.204761904761906,31.62301587301588,8.07648339933343,2.2471301587301595,241,10,48,3,4,81,46,63,0.111,0.6779999999999999,0.212,0.7053,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,1,2,1,4,3,2,1,0,9,11,4,0,2,1,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,3,5,3,12,11,0,9,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,4,34,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875369107846601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109284673936958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20281486165245285,0.0,0.16078541208717453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4000943565922617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378035116278621,0.0,0.14990066653231846,0.22122904957400694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577192480075885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955744111124275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5168568389629791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639500972524805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18669041179631052,0.2811326533531362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Penal-Cavity,2020/04/01,"Hey so I don’t know if this is the right place but I have to talk about my problem So basically long story short for the last 5 years I’ve been addicted to making my self sneeze. I know... it’s really weird, and that’s why I feel weird talking about it. I’ve never posted here and I don’t really have any other problems with my life but it starting to get bad. Sometimes I make myself sneeze like 20 times in a single day because that’s how bad it’s gotten. And since I feel to weird to talk to my parents about it I can’t really get professional help. So if anybody could like give tips or whatever on how they deal with their addictions then I would be really thankful because my mom is starting to think I have a legit problem with my sinuses and I don’t know how to stop it or atleast control myself. 
Thank you.",2.106960784313724,3.8974000882352975,3.753529411764706,88.33754901960785,77.52941176470588,6.886274509803924,23.098039215686285,7.793537801064563,1.0488156862745104,645,20,137,10,15,215,95,170,0.16699999999999998,0.727,0.106,-0.8816,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,2,1,10,12,0,0,4,0,13,4,0,6,1,32,29,17,0,7,6,2,2,2,0,1,4,0,0,1,10,7,0,2,6,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,2,2,22,4,17,24,1,16,0,0,0,0,13,5,0,4,12,86,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27770943851724705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661760127425189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127012709579184,0.1552900682929489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14285897975007253,0.10169649876116167,0.0,0.0,0.0821446621559318,0.13131535375337067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288066273183826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13309364608336802,0.12218721447866285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537503629223002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21000162350082607,0.10382550795203394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996689451548595,0.12445544376192275,0.0,0.0,0.11272056776145148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17004413504804045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491770180157269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823744882761958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14143197912326866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13307705045355342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219875523130098,0.0,0.0,0.3656345606284319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3263920895959438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087753355183608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13287719437177026,0.0,0.0,0.1053637673207654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12597456266873822,0.0,0.18030968370295564,0.0,0.0,0.10648903158856864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30713133629584705,0.0,0.23453478982726336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161509225047947,0.0,0.0,0.07427187201808758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11493378146568932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09048170002226176,0.0,0.0,0.08202365094142347
addiction,Hydronome,2020/04/01,"Internet and Social Media Addiction In the recent months, I've begun developing the thought that I may be addicted to the internet, specifically social media. My new phone has the ability to track and display my screen time and how much is associated with which app, and I noticed that my daily screen time is around 2-6 hours. Not only that, but I usually have a feeling of disappointment in myself after having a long spout of scrolling through Reddit or watching YouTube or Twitch (a live-streaming website) videos for an hour or two. Additionally, I started to notice that I have urges to just sit down and go on these sites.

Most recently, I thought to myself, this may be an actual problem. Whenever I've brought it up to people in the past, like my parents, I usually get responses like ""It's okay to relax and decompress every now and then."" and ""You're too hard on yourself."" For a while, I believed those things because they have some backing. I am hard on myself at times, I work very hard, and I tend to set high standards and expectations for myself. However, what's making me question that reasoning now are the signs I mentioned in the previous paragraph. I don't think the screen time I take up, the feelings of self-disappointment, and the urges are simply due to me not relaxing. In fact, I think that I’ve been going on the internet as an unhealthy way to ""relax.""

For years, I've always felt bad about myself when I spend time on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, and Reddit, and I've always had this vision in my head of a life in which I don’t use these things for entertainment. Instead, I’ve always wanted to be able to find the same levels of happiness and relaxation by doing things that are productive (exercise, meditation, playing an instrument, doing work, reading, etc.). I understand that it is possible to use social media in moderation and that many people do it, but it is very difficult for me. I can lose track of time while on these sites/apps. Maybe I do hold very high standards for myself, but my gut is telling me this is an issue. I’ve been feeling this way so much recently that I decided to take an entire week off of the sites/apps I’ve identified as being addicted to, cold turkey. It’s been a couple days, and it’s pretty difficult. I’ve been feeling a lot more anxious than usual (I’ve always had anxiety, but not at this level since I was in college.), and I’m beginning to question my methodology. That's ultimately what brings me here to this subreddit, a question I've had on my mind for a while now: **Can the internet and social media be considered a legitimate addiction, and should I treat it as such? I know there are methodologies for treating addictions, and I’m wondering how applicable they can be to what I am trying to change about myself with my internet use.** Social media addiction is rarely mentioned as much as drug addiction, and I feel like so many of us are just sweeping its existence under the rug because of how common and novel it is. I understand that drugs are very different from social media in the sense that the internet is a tool common to everyone that can be used for productive activities, whereas that’s not the case for most hard drugs that people struggle with (plus hard drugs can have much more severe effects on someone in a shorter amount of time). That being the case, it’s not easy to find legitimate, scientifically backed resources on how to work through something like this.

So what do you all think? What’s your opinion on this? Is anyone experiencing something similar? Are there any good resources I can check out to help guide me? The idea of treating this as a legitimate addiction is new to me, so I’m still trying to wrap my head around it and figure out where I go from here.",7.3464130434782575,7.336953022440393,7.696392356241237,71.63154505610099,63.656381486676025,11.057068723702665,35.21630434782608,10.686352973137794,3.816237615708274,3007,124,533,70,40,987,296,713,0.076,0.833,0.091,0.8814,3,0,8,1,0,0,98.0,1,2,2,5,29,23,0,1,39,1,58,18,3,11,2,99,93,50,0,4,14,1,11,4,0,3,15,0,2,0,52,32,0,1,25,10,2,5,7,7,0,1,12,17,58,16,98,70,14,88,0,2,4,0,20,38,0,14,45,383,110,5,0.05171384736227826,0.0,0.05046525521341837,0.4510058150035757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721202548614143,0.0,0.0,0.03516718954973744,0.0,0.03956095168511812,0.05842192775794749,0.0,0.03615952448254677,0.0,0.0,0.09207257624951014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07952951303259415,0.04317890245865496,0.06304856272293455,0.0,0.0,0.05826379703438622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05470639349783408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057220388493263885,0.0,0.033351153368819116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05402996376224119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23988657952127154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057674609747129825,0.0,0.0,0.043571146802667264,0.04941479730289889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307403752681176,0.03694438288852688,0.04965340328200933,0.0,0.0945310392275691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027018350836453,0.0,0.0881705136061886,0.043375121620609344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055050352132229516,0.2316272480089939,0.0,0.10614665367804543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034662701805817216,0.10927703805097633,0.0,0.0,0.10185544538113306,0.0,0.0,0.05837863904087698,0.0,0.05397582096687052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028420578076361776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036527019752137034,0.10105909461552512,0.0,0.045664274662495785,0.04576512757574313,0.0,0.057854567308530135,0.0,0.04396526372272689,0.0,0.0,0.034519394678926583,0.1048594488321044,0.051953510488924534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052216243875150566,0.0,0.04127749958568784,0.0,0.1520625123312584,0.0,0.0,0.09989111206373616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177531159580526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0393307112342232,0.0,0.0,0.057422107574583776,0.0,0.04936671885109334,0.1075556111411254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05829959275262135,0.0,0.05261157423115859,0.0,0.049483167818060725,0.0,0.0,0.17379403294712809,0.0,0.05172784186381058,0.0,0.0,0.053170448017537716,0.15318355639565512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05394882116988881,0.05842192775794749,0.0,0.04277822893422987,0.0,0.0,0.31629452944488085,0.04381697505228066,0.07962369241894597,0.0,0.0,0.03660332733273219,0.0,0.04129874530501533,0.0,0.0,0.0540625415431042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777647546974411,0.0,0.04520018197472055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10306914692201116,0.09940843582833477,0.0,0.08211003662568782,0.21108332188082052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07022061554578535,0.0,0.05051691455702992,0.10767187778182596,0.062205391018737635,0.17865664080774826,0.17086649037667626,0.1706773599444221,0.030502167033855963,0.08209608990943366,0.041481729022833036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05608146149935448,0.11294489036606414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03330202219622079
addiction,ThePenitentSquid,2020/04/01,"Spouse has cocaine addiction and I don't know what to do Hi, not really sure if I’m posting this to the right place, but here goes I guess.  


After finding our small, but growing household savings/quarantine safety net wiped out, I confronted my spouse who continuously denied knowing about it until finally telling me that he spent it on drugs, specifically dabs and coke.  We have had many issues over the years with him keeping drug use behind my back.  A few months back I found out that our rent was 2 months behind, after having believed he had paid it.  He said then that he had actually spent it at the casino and on weed.  I am hesitant to believe that any was spent at the casino, not that it really even matters.  I told him I didn’t want him spending money without me knowing about it, and I had asked him to stop smoking weed, as this had been a financial and dependency issue for many years.  He had kept coke use from me for over a year before I finally found his (empty) stash of it and called him out, to which he admitted using it, but that it had been “only a couple times”.  Recently, I had been suspecting he was using again, and I asked him, telling him I that I didn’t want to fight, but that I wanted to help him, and he told me I had nothing to worry about, that he wasn’t using, but appreciated the sentiment.  He said the words “I hope you don’t think I’m a drug addict or something.”  Well today I found out that he spent over a thousand dollars over the last few months and he finally admitted that he’s got an addiction problem. 

​

A lot of this post I guess is just me venting, but I have some questions too.  How can I move past this, how can I learn to trust him again, while he tries to get better?  The denial and lies stretch out weeks and months before I finally get him to tell me the truth, by which point things are much deeper than they had initially been.  How do I trust that he is actually putting in effort to overcome this?  He expressed that he never pictured that he would be in this position, and that he’s not proud of it, and I believe all of that, but how can I trust that he won’t hide this from me again?  I’ve been supportive of him from the beginning to the point that I feel like I’m just being used now.  I don’t feel that he respects me.  I love him and we have a life together, kids together, and I know life could be so much better.  I don’t want to leave him, but this is taking such a massive toll on my mental health, and I am feeling so overwhelmed with it all, that I sometimes feel like my only chance at any sense of normalcy is leaving.  What can I do to help him overcome this and save this relationship?",6.808687119955777,5.5700036940298485,7.034311774461028,79.98835544499725,65.23134328358209,10.254173576561637,32.35185185185185,9.250403328903447,2.52467739082366,2084,67,436,31,27,676,230,536,0.057999999999999996,0.782,0.16,0.9954,1,1,5,0,1,0,58.0,4,1,1,4,22,20,2,1,21,0,50,12,0,11,5,94,100,37,0,9,16,2,4,2,0,2,9,2,1,1,47,26,2,3,18,2,11,3,13,4,1,1,35,6,66,16,57,59,8,60,0,1,0,1,66,23,0,9,34,302,113,1,0.0,0.0,0.12940107571006515,0.21683472135735746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718374676369029,0.08056337779467099,0.09017436131435223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12396559444640225,0.0,0.0,0.10196326654441416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11283510373882155,0.22409669720240924,0.0,0.11727628392009565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770107489882231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052936220172259504,0.07336116494668403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306654943127599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04379140577271548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409578631385696,0.09473137244629966,0.0,0.29051948224453816,0.060598218082454525,0.0,0.0,0.21808797154767925,0.0,0.0,0.06927942100685819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053027233503770164,0.0,0.1460767884538652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0704752176011357,0.0,0.0,0.08888077315216529,0.0,0.0,0.06585218460833711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13840273403769085,0.0,0.0589316719790763,0.0,0.0,0.1457499168420036,0.05404443629228015,0.0,0.14040707899718974,0.0,0.0,0.09366118586778784,0.06478296551870541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056367023168098974,0.059839542468847276,0.0,0.0,0.13443829244354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681615038373853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21168436883638486,0.0704678253149535,0.09747821836838688,0.0,0.051135676091593925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0636179180840886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085030424649824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06329212540977376,0.0,0.0,0.06927078246055167,0.0,0.12535238213986652,0.0,0.1269967010896285,0.0,0.0,0.06344142240160686,0.0,0.06665115317336852,0.07427266779966389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494866454504361,0.0,0.06546456862536132,0.07118282008319479,0.0,0.056620976930922724,0.1261355028826656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05104200606657869,0.06557371459953547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0554308839613268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07523796806270591,0.062488222605977285,0.0,0.04985035182930462,0.0,0.17385086467167032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044047660209727516,0.042483217666099526,0.0,0.0,0.038660841008784926,0.0,0.06284591217527699,0.12670753174532115,0.0,0.04501425361974329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3435783898075234,0.0,0.0,0.15642497829356322,0.0,0.05318293086171461,0.0,0.059612861693217466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06391211996138929,0.0,0.0,0.06733222297188915,0.0,0.047098565361505015,0.0,0.08056337779467099,0.12808765587196372
addiction,covert0ptional,2020/04/02,"I lost my brother My brother died of a heroin overdose recently. I don't really know what I expect to get out of posting here, i just want to know that someone out there knows what I'm going through.",3.5540650406504035,4.693211073170737,4.993658536585368,83.60235772357726,72.41463414634146,7.417886178861789,30.739837398373986,7.793537801064563,2.0959203252032523,158,7,31,2,3,53,30,41,0.225,0.743,0.032,-0.8316,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,9,0,1,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,6,0,7,8,0,5,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,21,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34688632920988693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17462558731367436,0.0,0.18995518780832585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5510654778769268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3648603174460913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32010766245405203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21412145514642889,0.0,0.33001975415782964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831988173197337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971422632294961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,bcain89,2020/04/02,"Trying to help a friend during this quarantine...advice needed. So a friend of mine used to be an addict. He’s clean now but his outlet is working out. Now that he can’t go to the gym myself and his friends know he’s having a hard time. He and his girlfriend live in a small ~700 sq ft condo with one bedroom. All they have are small weights that don’t get the job done for him and his feet are starting to hurting from running so much. I’m looking for some advice on how he can continue his working out so he doesn’t relapse. Me and some friends are willing to spend some money for a used gym/weights possibly but wanted to see if anyone had any advice. 

TL:DR - Friend uses working out as his outlet to stay sober. Need recommendations on how to help him out since the quarantine won’t let him go to the gym.",1.5262686038270736,3.732216042168673,2.7905244507441544,92.44791991495394,81.34939759036145,5.110701630049611,21.81289865343728,6.2272716619740125,0.2635021970233877,637,20,134,5,17,205,100,166,0.03,0.828,0.141,0.9578,1,2,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,3,7,6,0,0,10,0,16,3,1,5,1,25,30,13,0,4,3,0,2,0,6,2,1,0,3,0,3,9,1,0,1,2,2,3,4,1,0,1,2,4,13,5,23,24,5,18,0,1,2,0,24,9,0,4,5,85,16,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386486669442243,0.0,0.372846407191634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648906579986858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08892958272482411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13015276403982118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4913078541083471,0.0,0.06644807143297479,0.0,0.14456250178135693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11393133514840068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17049668942378884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361524483555459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12620988882806694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06989666444173126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300536321540858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11230526256305168,0.0,0.10680201477486627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09349442479694632,0.1886097427641028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861827558940893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143380161401742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134869451555313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10520741362802682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09002105731813982,0.13556057034742452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07416165688672006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.086349172569749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3295368387460505,0.0,0.0,0.07501605801904197,0.0,0.0,0.3097502087077309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2777730657382714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,galactictesticle,2020/04/02,"Looking for advice! My dad is addicted to beer (all alcohol but he uses beer as an excuse because he says there isn’t a lot of alcohol in it) and recently pot. 
I know it’s a coping mechanism for him because he shows symptoms of depression and anxiety but he refuses to acknowledge or deal with it. 
When he gets intoxicated, he’s literally the worst person to talk to. He blames me and my mom for anything and everything bad that happens, yells at us, and tells me things like he hopes my cat dies (she helps me with my anxiety).
I have no clue what to do with him. I’ve mentioned therapy before but he doesn’t want to go. 
Any tips or things I can do? 
He’s extra stressed now because of quarantine and him not being able to work so he’s been drinking and smoking everyday and I can’t stand being around him like this.",3.8282727272727257,4.996630448484852,5.434318181818185,80.5914772727273,71.78787878787878,9.37878787878788,30.113636363636363,9.725611199111238,2.8463636363636367,644,27,130,16,12,219,103,165,0.15,0.759,0.091,-0.9293,0,1,5,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,0,1,5,7,0,1,4,0,11,8,0,1,1,26,19,16,1,2,6,2,0,2,0,0,5,2,0,1,8,12,5,1,2,4,0,1,5,4,0,0,1,3,17,3,20,16,4,9,0,1,1,0,28,3,0,4,6,83,25,1,0.15696844114273276,0.0,0.0,0.17111877025769834,0.0,0.15338774400021069,0.0,0.3355030528607059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10674392265426096,0.0,0.2401608556653474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12917165248250145,0.13973519185910652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13106209177801514,0.2870595143766397,0.0,0.13356858214048994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618275703570363,0.1351966883481258,0.0,0.16290845978534085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15376931381021292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14107311351557508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200953186358784,0.0,0.08920878244056069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388066741062809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10521263734524072,0.0,0.0,0.15590507984729485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.086265750172669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533737031202397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318139570477923,0.0,0.0,0.13344895541497664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18383954113951625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13705878825081422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15498739881461004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12482760464860453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17980681898799725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631503124899733,0.0,0.12616528713165545,0.13719733622285188,0.0,0.17950709238200774,0.0,0.20856571495472187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888137076803104,0.1355703348221833,0.0,0.0,0.0925840534980589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11427489463702065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,10pc_McNugget,2020/04/02,"lost my family already and about to lose my life with this quaruntine shit going on my wife left me 2 yrs ago because im an addict (i dont blame her), i still see my daughter (6 now) sometimes but now that im just stuck inside alone everyday, all i do is get fucked up.. going to my work where i couldnt be fucked up all day really helped but now im starting at 8am every morning. I barely eat, have like no contact with anyone except my dealers, lose hundreds in online poker with them every night.. idk what i expect here but this shit sucks man. I hope you all are doing better than me during this pandemic shit",3.427130358705164,4.3255185196850405,4.779475065616797,85.92954505686791,72.46456692913387,6.904286964129485,23.559930008748907,6.937597516519254,0.7960313210848637,480,12,98,4,9,160,90,127,0.287,0.634,0.079,-0.986,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,1,5,8,12,6,0,1,0,8,8,3,0,3,15,19,4,0,3,5,2,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,4,1,0,0,1,0,2,3,9,0,0,2,1,18,3,13,15,3,18,0,3,1,2,8,7,6,1,10,60,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15181332652828886,0.0,0.0,0.1234450760530037,0.0,0.0,0.14423076377911687,0.15367623618078902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09737342650152754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848912516990077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316364284281413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981080718767115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16321100660101584,0.0,0.0,0.14249715587776884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346641401672531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312813902291841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574861851263441,0.07275730079458573,0.0,0.1582886786463525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09334265577143416,0.0,0.0,0.13831602902844908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4512722216172937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15130577055251065,0.0,0.09836304885235184,0.06803511981058742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3115913463029071,0.1520181107064746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13068553478952954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921315231243426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097173014937814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4288433894805253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13773113019707328,0.0,0.09856853636074478,0.0,0.11121275509317713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10138251851266644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,HeavenlyShrimp,2020/04/02,"Is it okay to expose child to a vice ? So what I mean by the title is this: should I allow my hypothetical kid to get drunk or high and experience the bad part of enjoying a particular vice.


I'm saying this after remembering my younger self. My parents had an alcohol shelf in a wardrobe and my 10yo self would climb up and drink this stuff when I was home alone. Luckily never got drunk but it was something forbidden and fun. I remember thinking about how is it to be drunk and finally got to experience it when I was 14 and continued to do it it during first year of hs. I think if you forbid kid to drink something, it's gonna take first chance and drink it even if it doesn't oike it just to prove it's point. Same thing was with weed.



Now if I would demistify that feeling of mild vices to a kid and not having it believe it was some forbidden fruit, would it remove their classical teenage rebelious way of thinking and prevent them from abusing it in future. 


I luckily haven't continued in pursuing those vices, but lot of people I know are addicted to weed even today because they started smoking it out of protest and didn't kniw what they were going into.",9.041558441558443,6.5395809696969724,8.896922077922081,72.41966883116886,61.81385281385282,12.530043290043292,38.6844155844156,11.00357731598739,3.995501818181818,928,36,184,19,10,303,137,231,0.11800000000000001,0.7929999999999999,0.08900000000000001,-0.7814,1,1,6,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,4,3,9,6,1,0,7,1,21,9,0,2,2,42,35,20,0,7,8,1,1,0,0,5,2,1,1,6,25,13,8,2,9,6,0,3,5,3,0,2,10,3,18,3,27,19,4,26,0,0,0,0,13,8,0,6,14,130,43,0,0.0,0.1492103878843278,0.0,0.13728590399284174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458441711267508,0.0,0.1304289369175004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514905946227207,0.07676778117638088,0.0,0.0,0.14188372353217216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3701001220556222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16635553635480352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24637389748263844,0.0,0.0,0.06367566895129134,0.0,0.0,0.1379537932087293,0.0,0.21423763022534875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657949604299234,0.0,0.07157080618923009,0.0,0.201440755675108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13305546363626825,0.12632138493257775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920965758601637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070640027009035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13717830083703705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712753761815483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13983404533244767,0.13637351020589816,0.0,0.08730630552894249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11904768981647093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853157978707882,0.0,0.0,0.10014722827681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627518293473932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19389923995363675,0.0,0.0,0.08913624995243469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441635186903371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946861817942205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0836645000322055,0.2420789537199051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11937005952591492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999600053263602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683782455941384,0.0,0.0,0.08109692726621016
addiction,Perpetual_Momentum,2020/04/02,"I made a promise to be a better man. I made a promise to be a better man. 

I can’t smoke with you, we can’t keep enabling each other like this. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I will choose to love you regardless of whether or not you smoke crystal. I love you for being you. That’s it. I said I wouldn’t be that type of guy. I can’t. I won’t let myself. Thats not love. That’s just using someone. 

I’ll always be here if you need someone to vent to. Or just do things like we used to. If you want. 

It’s cause I love you I couldn’t watch you put that poison into your body. Filling your lungs. Slowly aging you eating away at you once bright and vibrant suddenly become so dull. I’m so sorry. I said I was your friend but I haven’t been helping you at all. I’m ashamed and disappointed in myself.

As a friend I can’t bear the sight of you smoking. It pains me so like someone is ripping my soul in half, I can’t call myself a friend if I let you smoke in front of me.

I know I may have differing opinions from your friends but everyone is entitled to their own opinion right.

Even when everyone’s given up on you, they don’t believe in you anymore when you ever reach a point you feel that you stop believing in yourself. If the whole worlds given up on you. I won’t. I’ll always be supporting you. Any way I can. 

Sometimes you’ve got to be a good role model and to be a good role model you’ve got to lead with example. Not only that you’ve to to be prepared to make the sacrifices needed. The last and most important thing. It’s to take a deep breath and just take a leap of faith. 

Come a day you fall and you feel like you can’t get back up. Even in the darkest of moments when all seems lost. Surrounded by nothing but chaos and despair. Don’t give in don’t give up. Those whom support you and truly wish nothing but the best for you will appear. Sometimes they will come and go. Life is a never ending cycle.",-0.027728102189779943,2.1172202189781006,1.90363290754258,96.6652303832117,87.6861313868613,4.690206812652068,18.78147810218978,6.1021074209460044,-0.2348828467153288,1494,42,343,13,48,493,188,411,0.08199999999999999,0.7040000000000001,0.214,0.9939,0,0,3,0,0,0,43.0,2,31,3,6,14,31,1,1,19,0,39,12,3,7,4,66,79,28,0,11,18,0,2,4,4,7,3,2,0,3,18,17,1,2,6,0,0,9,20,7,0,1,11,7,64,24,44,49,7,45,3,4,3,5,57,22,0,12,17,231,82,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428593512099662,0.0,0.0,0.058377346547604486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513488516861717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065393088981339,0.0660092831202748,0.0,0.0,0.09480873773014366,0.0,0.1934351828624332,0.0900887269581766,0.1518453398156538,0.0,0.09535412051696697,0.0,0.0,0.08765704693457785,0.0,0.0,0.08818616419435221,0.0,0.1478952329277096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05536273620103364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968945084570783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08784056949597775,0.0,0.0,0.07603293300935045,0.0,0.0,0.11339924268224105,0.07765145490679715,0.0,0.1640565984183116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681132945237295,0.06132747798400698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.265293640028069,0.0,0.04485031787068558,0.16470013619339832,0.048787526991023344,0.14400493976407097,0.1373157133176229,0.0,0.0,0.08499975939636817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057539899591139636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07630272258340315,0.0,0.0,0.04717800758859359,0.06997489619928637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17556406428534416,0.06063465741002376,0.16775755650913846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09370964168304917,0.0,0.38739101192813225,0.16245668050016898,0.05730201052703333,0.0,0.0,0.09351005544040887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12730552947666707,0.06620873251851711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647406289992034,0.0,0.0,0.0914218144928142,0.0,0.06528877027368685,0.09134482395313526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115099842223154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862976440284456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331091330134673,0.16331595492134102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07814979989163166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21820783264557111,0.0,0.16980522648765456,0.09609612464670736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177002144034916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948311192279048,0.0,0.0,0.12908907684367024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406282172425558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14828453406426226,0.0,0.0,0.05063343412387132,0.06813953506390001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09584255303526804,0.09871717994632416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,theshizirl,2020/04/02,"How do you deal with knowing that struggles with addiction and sobriety won’t just go away over time? I’ve been struggling with alcoholism for years and the pattern is ill make it a year or two without having a drink, but then I’ll slip up and drink, hide the behavior for a week or two, and then either get found out or come clean about it and restart the sobriety process.

My wife and friends are all extremely supportive and whenever I choose to talk about slipping up, the conversation is about why I didn’t reach out when I got tempted in the first place and it’s almost always me thinking I could just have the one drink and quit, or that I got in over my head and slipped up, got embarrassed and tried to hide it because I got ashamed.

Lately it dawned on me that every time I relapse (usually following several months or a year of sobriety) it comes after assuming I will ever stop being an alcoholic, or when I believe that I’m better to some degree and can just say no to the habit.

I cant, and it seems like if I’m gonna be real with myself, I’m never gonna be able think I can have healthy drinking habits, and that this will always be a struggle to some capacity.

How do you not feel ashamed, disappointed, and frankly not like a loser knowing that life will mean knowing that drinking will always become a problem and that it can’t be negotiated, particularly when people around you can do it healthily?",9.271344086021507,6.7410751039426575,8.83018817204301,73.16528225806455,61.401433691756274,12.167383512544804,39.73745519713262,10.504223727775694,3.93598422939068,1130,46,222,20,12,363,153,279,0.115,0.773,0.11199999999999999,0.4668,0,0,7,0,0,0,21.0,0,3,0,4,13,14,0,6,15,0,27,11,1,3,3,64,52,31,0,3,15,1,1,2,1,7,5,1,1,0,18,25,7,1,11,5,0,4,9,9,0,4,7,2,19,5,29,32,4,36,0,2,0,0,9,13,0,12,21,155,37,0,0.09637691270670157,0.0,0.0,0.1050650606169178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20599521918540215,0.09650755645956467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405799358964424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08579588540102415,0.0,0.0,0.09054928202190964,0.0,0.0,0.05875047144784281,0.1064407281350786,0.0,0.10858377721167167,0.0,0.0852375473023405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660403530035333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769491225355395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09936036510457356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4720634168934794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717843522559453,0.08120170565755683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04873106286672407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08197815271415168,0.0,0.10567231026028708,0.07446056368392888,0.0,0.05035295907887273,0.0,0.05477322049804339,0.0,0.3083256851603132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891051717706484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15889869224877048,0.0,0.10871735541599582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807386364866633,0.0941697827251899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06433233761071531,0.0,0.0,0.10498271179771357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07692713223310806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07433181652761298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06530749030416637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681561628581892,0.0,0.10069336099827868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922196894739452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250870993225283,0.0,0.10969802625161887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07664278927039718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773792166448408,0.0,0.1088784787610294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08057541449528369,0.0,0.3022622244967292,0.0,0.0,0.10936737842147763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746411174107813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12350886826656304,0.0,0.0,0.11239630568375812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06543359738114883,0.0,0.18829247920262585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10614555331876396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07730774600755794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08696517324796857,0.0,0.0,0.0929039046311101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18619071582573574
addiction,zzzazzzy,2020/04/02,"So I'm doing some research on smartphone use and addiction and it would be great if you could fill this survey This survey will take less than a minute and might as well do it rather than scrolling endlessly 

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/S6B5B7W",12.599756097560975,12.44199104878049,8.522073170731709,70.47628048780491,53.14634146341464,11.126829268292685,35.134146341463406,10.125756701596842,3.234551219512196,207,6,33,3,2,56,35,41,0.0,0.856,0.14400000000000002,0.7351,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,7,1,0,1,0,10,10,6,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,4,5,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,3,0,26,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4183264842671104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30638021535151555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4230678702418773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4070809218535869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2885200620503474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3314227974620893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3450227716269621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725934823311622,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,aryamman,2020/04/02,I am going cold turkey on sugar from tomorrow Any tips would be much appreciated,3.0440000000000005,6.125569733333336,6.2150000000000025,63.86250000000001,85.0,8.333333333333334,20.833333333333336,8.841846274778883,2.5083333333333333,66,2,10,2,2,24,15,15,0.0,0.7979999999999999,0.20199999999999999,0.5106,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,7,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.502632744912417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4200637757488648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5433445133797258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5250556997362904,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,xxxxx10010,2020/04/02,"Help This is my first time posting anything or even trying to talk to someone about addiction. I myself am not an addict, a few years ago I did have a cocaine dependency but it was easy to kick that habit pretty quickly. On the other hand, my brother who is 3 years older than me and has a newborn baby has an opioid addiction. He began doing Xanax, percocet and morphine pills around 16, then it had progressed right infront of our eyes and our family had no idea. At this time now he’s a heroine and fentanyl addict. For as long as this has been happening, he’s turned into a liar, a thief and a terrible person. He’s not the guy I remember him being. It has torn my family apart and I completely resent him for what he’s done to us. My parents put him into rehab, costing $15 000 and somehow, a patient had snuck fentanyl in there and that blew my brothers sobriety. Currently he’s living at home with my and my parents and we have to keep every door locked, we have taken away all means of communication and internet access from him. We feel like prisoners in our own home but at this point we have run out of options. I’m 19f and I mostly stay with my boyfriend to avoid any added stress of this situations since I’m a full time student and I’m focusing on getting my life together. My parents have asked me to bring him to the clinic every 2 days so he can get methadone and I can make sure he doesn’t go anywhere else... but I don’t want to do it anymore, they practically get me to babysit him and I feel bad for my parents so I do it for them, not even him. But I don’t like my brother, I don’t want to have a relationship with him as of right now. How should I go about telling my parents I’m done doing favours for him and I’m not going to watch over his every move. 

Ps sorry if this was long, confusing and all over the place. I just need advice :(",2.7205311602769804,4.255470683246074,4.259261948995103,86.47365394359062,75.15183246073299,7.127985137645668,25.935146090187462,7.831003766801068,1.4123250126667792,1459,52,304,21,31,487,200,382,0.111,0.8,0.08900000000000001,-0.8732,6,1,3,0,0,0,35.0,8,0,2,2,14,12,2,3,16,0,34,11,2,3,3,60,59,30,0,5,11,8,3,2,0,1,9,0,3,3,16,28,0,2,5,0,1,7,9,8,0,1,11,5,50,4,46,46,6,46,0,0,2,0,45,20,0,7,19,209,66,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3845728000389618,0.0,0.08618101058257033,0.0781776205593519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05997414713837434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746358701911179,0.0,0.0,0.07257518273133519,0.07851031467253741,0.0824483887998578,0.0,0.08286006481177477,0.0,0.07363732736351747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924685019685918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05687707789521045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805037653904735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367379093779079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11650106193947972,0.0,0.2229187833422178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16628069810471202,0.0,0.0891858872278283,0.06300497377418357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501677424013795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13823133744110208,0.0,0.15036604926318525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732476513997002,0.07798862632772245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059113793423142526,0.0,0.17692919409575353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09955896767422352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078389837529595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062293202419336564,0.08617312170439917,0.0,0.07787588268042618,0.1560957546040004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05886939735896569,0.0,0.0,0.096067844045076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937350187427971,0.0,0.06539386429748224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4896384915551717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.077006575444916,0.09214273412365646,0.0,0.08337072867524183,0.0,0.08446435024569753,0.08972381172679086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865815092223356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468609177084296,0.09990528168886212,0.1506323860608561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07295401848339399,0.09913243353794056,0.0,0.0,0.07472549676531028,0.0,0.0,0.09872465022522824,0.0,0.09400181996405303,0.0,0.0,0.10102458622770807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312069644545156,0.0,0.0,0.07088605426931169,0.07708441871930664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542778412860325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0598771409204292,0.0959284713959009,0.0,0.0,0.10608511289995122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10403682962157018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113586579125227
addiction,florabundawonder,2020/04/02,"Stuck on painkillers I have chronic pain. I take co-dodamol 30/500, which I get hooked on and then come off every couple of months. 

I don't want to take it anymore because right now I'm literally just chasing the nice fuzzy feeling that I can't get until I've had a break from it. 

I never take more than 8 tablets in a day, so I'm not doing that much harm realistically I guess. But I don't want to be chasing the feeling anymore! That drowsy, cozy, relaxed feeling that helps so much with my pain. 

What can I do about this? I'm so sick of myself.",2.6278070175438586,3.9901658157894735,3.737719298245616,90.825701754386,75.05263157894737,5.76842105263158,25.824561403508767,5.82211442006289,0.5639192982456143,429,15,95,2,9,139,75,114,0.16899999999999998,0.716,0.11599999999999999,-0.7892,0,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,4,0,9,4,0,0,1,13,25,7,0,2,3,0,3,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,9,3,0,0,3,1,0,1,5,3,0,0,2,3,11,2,13,22,3,13,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,6,59,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37765010479641614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11606571282113402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16401223218724845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21067332518135387,0.0,0.12279186779148793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16041971438141198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2888149869492919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19895166605875272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20974641540762515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276207107552389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15197499216406987,0.0,0.2799309472709026,0.0,0.1468477623745763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4051967917756461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16260005540701816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4294699813848048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22460500962925095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,shekaas,2020/04/02,"Struggelin So me (F21) and my bf (M21) have been sober for 3 months. Our relasionship has not been good after we quit. And all i can think about is that i wish he ended it so i can go back and do more drugs than ever. I didnt over do it before. I do have a job. He does not. He's just sitting at home, playin video games. I'm his mother now. I cook and clean. I didn't sign up for that shit. We feel inlove because of the this we did. I want to be free and do what ever i want. He didnt have a ""healthy"" relasionship with drugs. I felt like a did. This had been the longes i have been sober. And i have a lsd tab in the freezer that is teasing me...",-1.5337499999999975,0.3452831250000017,0.6411111111111119,104.715,92.75,3.7555555555555564,13.555555555555555,5.033348758259628,-1.5455944444444447,486,8,132,2,18,160,87,144,0.054000000000000006,0.843,0.10300000000000001,0.6698,1,0,2,0,0,0,25.0,4,0,0,1,8,5,2,0,7,0,25,4,1,0,3,23,33,8,0,3,3,1,2,1,1,0,2,0,2,0,8,10,1,0,3,3,1,1,5,2,0,0,11,2,20,4,12,21,2,14,0,0,0,0,13,4,1,0,9,89,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16015023323542152,0.0,0.12696220107745218,0.0,0.1772262579783465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18226241706798968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4830645906838893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844693864169625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37679241544659897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530984432857954,0.0,0.1999761802461235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11836719711612716,0.17469076772313225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089163035381124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20668030235822704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017523995564,0.0,0.0,0.1843163770486125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662427175509965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22152556604014748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21379077960043405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13345388880520806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24569139069949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395053944752048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,kimbasal,2020/04/02,"Advice on quitting vaping(first post) So I’ve been vaping for about 2 years(juul and puffs) and can never find the willpower to quit. Lately over the past two months I’ve been experiencing chest pains and shortness of breath but continue to smoke despite my declining health. 
I guess what I’m looking for is advice and words of encouragement, since I can’t get that from the people around me. My roommates don’t know I smoke and all of my other friends don’t seem to have the same addiction to nicotine despite vaping as well.",8.784848484848489,8.065458393939398,8.103717171717173,72.22890909090908,61.020202020202035,11.152323232323234,35.961616161616156,10.355215969177356,3.5850549494949497,427,16,76,8,5,134,70,99,0.042,0.877,0.081,0.6936,1,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,4,0,8,5,2,0,2,15,14,8,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,1,1,1,2,2,7,3,15,12,2,10,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,2,5,49,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21661926421338146,0.0,0.3883471134655532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17689078994461493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18161401455668566,0.16901952959661942,0.0,0.0,0.15352004199509384,0.0,0.1038158725896702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188974595635468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112155703635141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10920381966909473,0.0,0.22414943083034375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16686329819777593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158605521993085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532545958600328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21143757849356767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18968770616082492,0.13775797161123188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19030576682106146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4226973494442927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18089480863547414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643719556212106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19410724203788493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17866088267787486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,-ordinary,2020/04/02,"I need help but extenuating circumstances make me feel like rehab is a no go right now My use feels like it’s reaching its breaking point but my father has also recently become ill and I’m a main point of support for my family so don’t feel as if I can’t dump that shit on them.

Right now I’d really love someone to chat with",1.8976190476190449,3.5025899999999983,4.131428571428572,86.22190476190477,77.57142857142857,7.523809523809526,21.666666666666664,8.344100000000001,1.0920952380952378,260,7,57,5,6,90,57,70,0.172,0.5920000000000001,0.23600000000000002,0.6746,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,1,0,4,6,2,0,2,0,4,4,1,2,0,11,14,7,0,2,3,1,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,3,7,4,6,14,1,10,0,0,0,1,5,5,1,1,5,32,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16930903220881868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338234445637505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995867944944433,0.0,0.3211495780719375,0.30249959005769705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032295636355735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419086240821764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20686727116974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910817567467167,0.0,0.14132192667722088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15698456770394376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40027968803640585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13563054950666595,0.0,0.2090437904686908,0.0,0.0,0.36160823743960185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21732320500549498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17938609275023884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24025255739479845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18285445709194795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,throwAwaY998978,2020/04/02,"I don't know what else to do Hi this is my first time posting in this Reddit but I don't know who else to turn to. My mom is addicted to her phone, she listens to these people who have radio shows on politics and things like that, she also only follows politics on twitter. That's all she does. I brought it up to her that this has become an addiction. She is on it(I am not exaggerating, I swear on everything) every second of the day. She has headphones in all the time, and every time I try to have a conversation with her she gets frustrated and angry at me for interrupting, but there is no good time because she is always on it. I hope if I give her space by going to my room for a few hours that when I come back done she'll be done and want to spend time with me but my hopes are always squashed. I told her today how it made me feel, and that it is destroying our relationship because even when I want to watch a show with her or try to find something to do together she tries to secretly look at her phone and slip a headphone in her ear. She's only ever mentally half there, or not at all and I don't know what to do anymore, I feel like I've lost my mom. She just turned it on me when I brought it up and told me I was exaggerating, being sensitive and told me to grow up(I'm 20 by the way...). Sorry if this was a lot and hard to follow I'm writing it through tears haha.",3.6102379235760647,3.940844479452057,5.0728622927180975,86.06550468637349,71.67123287671234,8.339149242970441,25.984859408795966,8.371475516178862,1.3993602739726023,1076,31,244,16,19,363,143,292,0.092,0.81,0.098,-0.0834,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,1,0,0,2,11,9,2,0,9,1,25,3,1,2,4,43,52,22,0,6,10,2,3,2,0,1,2,2,1,0,22,14,0,0,7,3,1,7,6,3,0,3,11,7,45,6,39,38,5,39,0,1,2,0,36,16,0,7,16,178,67,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23423733166745955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08591474611064417,0.17878700399612854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106545430354647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260993673183396,0.0,0.1309812566170266,0.11865215701920807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925446790024696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06928589311499195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940160150778199,0.2198840914214947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17949425649807807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07095899107363929,0.0971799945970791,0.18103516762269725,0.0,0.09655454404605944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10864348307797632,0.07675070591132735,0.0,0.0,0.09819251837470068,0.0913831088757702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056129710043191776,0.103060260523281,0.0610570866326097,0.0901103481256224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09623955472001787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21341194681236111,0.10580062140302167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17712836912315824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049734255124061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902173079227553,0.0,0.11727664965689895,0.09133634838287888,0.0,0.1016564296973905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826797027851254,0.0,0.0,0.25165026318644396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634164446773667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07448104812679736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028918530929566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11534366174714095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08270776397673081,0.0,0.12026330846184588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07137422223572833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31322747279227664,0.0,0.10183465094054388,0.3079727102417331,0.0,0.2188214306730508,0.2337141801857808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267344407260722,0.08527592505903778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,buffandbitchin96,2020/04/02,My friends think I need help My friends have been worried about me going to strip clubs weekly. I don't think it's an issue but my friends worry because I am spending almost $200 weekly. Since I am a queer female I don't have alot of intimacy I can get from women. I am pretty sure I have codependency issues as well.  I usually get the same dancer every time and alot of times I dont usually get lap dances but I occasionally do. I just want her to lay on me while I hold her and play with her hair. We'll lay there and talk about anything. Im 99% sure I am her favorite client but i have noticed that i am developing romantic feelings but i know i can't do anything because she is in a relationship and im her customer. I talked to a counselor and she told me that I am going down a slippery slope because it can lead to a sex addiction or drug addiction. The counselor told me also even though I know nothing is going to change between me and the dancer my body is react differently. She said it's because a bond is forming between me and her which isnt a bad thing but the way my body is reacting is bad. I dont see an issue because I am only going once a week but I noticed I literally get irritated and depressed if I cant do down there. I've been noticing it since the coronavirus outbreak and everything is closed. I am super depressed and I've been drinking and I did hook up with someone to stop the depressed feeling. I just am counting down the days until the outbreak is over so I can go back down there. My friends are worried about the money spent and they're worried I'll get hurt or addicted. Should I be concerned and get help or is this normal?,3.2312567084078694,4.490981866279071,4.765930232558142,84.45867620751343,73.36046511627906,7.269051878354204,29.219141323792485,7.748469712250963,1.7910508944543833,1318,55,271,17,26,443,159,344,0.10099999999999999,0.737,0.162,0.9596,1,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,1,0,0,2,14,15,0,0,21,0,43,10,3,3,2,49,67,29,0,5,12,0,3,0,4,2,4,1,0,1,9,16,1,2,6,4,3,7,7,6,1,0,8,5,53,9,26,56,4,29,0,4,1,2,23,9,1,7,12,188,62,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25412304632751465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07780827770629377,0.0,0.0,0.06213901900455816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12788581006661198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05974877027435922,0.12975743093730785,0.2368349777721673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17262091548853367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08219941536172057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050111972902482566,0.0,0.20077630434509086,0.0,0.0,0.08118304185866337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18213455142622886,0.07611930668251728,0.09011074999191868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05132206395850436,0.0,0.06546808452947547,0.0,0.06983439885543938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07857788988876922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401324178055951,0.0,0.24357949783864505,0.0,0.2208018785122521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10416529553930977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08318261233861372,0.0,0.16786503428311464,0.24330506784301084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08540701562465687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05761575096564525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613239060569857,0.07455807374087013,0.2653959620594262,0.0,0.08275110308717287,0.0,0.059096592966630127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07905183227317332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342388604781016,0.0,0.0,0.07391329682336496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06191918888521732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12855336218582028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06583745522100931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06496314337805835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14646821679496672,0.0,0.0,0.12490937165415755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05162238559408374,0.09957782244026926,0.07634275135278581,0.0,0.09061842706034652,0.0,0.0,0.1484969923552731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17115763765866365,0.0,0.04583121162150404,0.061676982913394476,0.18698585243086024,0.0,0.06986428150874742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156444597158489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,queenamphitrite,2020/04/02,Can I go to an NA meeting for marijuana addiction? I quit a few days ago and i’m going through every withdrawal symptom there is. I’m so tempted to smoke bc I know it will ease the symptoms so I just really need some support rn. Is it socially acceptable to talk about marijuana addiction at NA or should i just keep my mouth shut and listen,2.0655279503105604,4.376130956521742,4.5006625258799176,80.35173913043481,80.01449275362319,8.580538302277432,28.697722567287784,9.23628265651192,2.948476604554865,272,13,53,8,7,95,52,69,0.0,0.865,0.135,0.7823,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,6,2,0,0,3,0,5,5,1,0,0,11,14,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,2,7,12,2,6,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,2,2,33,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5078016263243601,0.0,0.0,0.20645621769498868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502044484312934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962324960890933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647305420528216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20701665318398926,0.0,0.0,0.12799848949300613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17269609623213972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24772312179881906,0.0,0.0,0.1492048981132605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374173031425109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.264297818433445,0.0,0.4841549170378567,0.0,0.1872002057245156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,istoleyourcats,2020/04/02,"How do I help my (19F) boyfriend (21M) with a porn addiction he has had for 11 years So, as the title says, my boyfriend of almost a year has had a porn addiction for the past 11 years and I am desperately seeking advice for how to help him. 

We have talked a lot about the addiction recently and he completely admits to having one and he says he wants to get better. He doesn’t have any issues being sexually intimate with me and the romance isn’t “gone” or anything. Things seem eerily “normal” compared to other posts I have read. He watches it to get off or just when he is bored. My self esteem has majorly plummeted and this is all making me feel super bad about myself/my appearance/how I am sexually. I’m really new to being around someone with an addiction so I don’t really know what sort of information I need to put here or how to help him. ANY advice is appreciated. Thank you in advance.",3.5923543495610524,5.1417244245810085,5.415422984836393,79.00945530726258,72.91061452513965,8.913168395849961,26.19353551476457,9.424239791934726,2.3184697525937747,708,24,138,17,14,243,105,179,0.044000000000000004,0.8109999999999999,0.145,0.9558,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,1,0,3,11,6,0,0,9,0,20,6,0,4,1,30,32,15,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,5,10,0,0,5,1,0,3,3,2,0,1,3,4,15,4,22,27,3,14,0,0,1,2,20,3,0,7,7,90,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5714730864300122,0.0,0.2561290247479249,0.0,0.0,0.13123171211706672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17824251204298452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10784632628593688,0.11666590002714936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094246674247974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11590666761760075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374076903311861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06626487135195526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13694067640909935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26352832525873043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367863915470212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07202388497494132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114174767575313,0.0,0.0,0.0874796038658859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717492620352099,0.0,0.1265728294823359,0.0,0.0,0.12840515509756562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880562394381389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510593101125891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255135644624999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317455294279096,0.0,0.0,0.1310895268347751,0.0,0.16791317556906787,0.0,0.12940007549282825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20843890004812046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193066957658132,0.13671796822829305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11104168122956527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10533629059055866,0.0,0.12065697238579495,0.0,0.0,0.08706649529823783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07729908111053173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531835569616881
addiction,waterdoghand,2020/04/02,"High School and Alcohol I was 17. Had a beautiful girlfriend, a good minimum wage job, hobbies, and good grades. I took a liking to drinking. It started off as a reward to finishing homework, but it steadily advanced into me drinking excessively atleast a few times a week. Almost always alone. 

There’d be times I would show up to school after a whole night of binge drinking, tired and tipsy. My tolerance was strong enough where I’d be good to go by 6am. It was a regular thing. It’s where my weekends went, it’s why I wanted to see my girlfriend less, it’s why I fell into a depression. I was too young to realize how much of a problem it was and blamed on everything else, including my relationship. One night while I was drunk, I cheated on my girlfriend with a close friend. I thought it’d make me feel better; it’d cure my depression, but it didn’t. It went on for about a month until eventually she found out. I got jumped by 3 other grown ass men the same day. Can’t even say I blamed them. 

That was a wake up call for me. And the start of a very difficult heartbreak. I stopped drinking that day. Without constantly numbing myself I realized I loved that girl, and that I took her for granted. I also realized I lost a good friend who genuinely cared for me. The break up was drawn out for months, and it destroyed me. I lost my job, I lost some friends, and I lost my girlfriend. To this day, she doesn’t know the problems I went through with alcohol because I didn’t talk about it. To her, I was perfectly fine during my binging. Just distant. Im honestly still recovering somewhat but I’m a much better person now and grew a lot from it. Glad I could learn from this experience young.",2.1829621848739507,4.514654369047619,3.435546218487396,88.03298319327732,79.71428571428571,6.810084033613446,26.251400560224088,7.928766900206844,1.6645913165266113,1332,55,269,24,34,432,178,336,0.185,0.613,0.20199999999999999,0.5402,3,1,6,0,0,0,44.0,0,0,1,10,11,31,2,0,21,0,20,12,2,2,1,43,43,17,0,5,5,0,1,1,7,1,4,1,1,3,23,16,7,1,8,7,1,11,5,13,0,1,24,3,44,18,40,13,10,50,0,7,1,2,21,15,1,4,24,179,67,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18334070920076267,0.0858940509129209,0.08883990549491319,0.0,0.06859645553656492,0.07137398016832792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052289335372546215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517269423508262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08758869862606916,0.0,0.08745615822267877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09269530147259183,0.0,0.06848657339636917,0.0,0.0,0.16595870563079873,0.0,0.14776054353002238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3361182535526302,0.0,0.0,0.07165632410228208,0.0,0.0,0.0886313712383464,0.0,0.0566554112821775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770915330294882,0.08390712324296425,0.0,0.0,0.04337182028506648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09405090265015724,0.19881508814551407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04874948618240876,0.2877853112956047,0.0686043224760781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09062892862881172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092654716350615,0.0,0.17024241157123238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04714122176098184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04190668797652742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3745462960831628,0.07292519671360732,0.07741779076711387,0.0,0.057257330770748675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13693400299455447,0.0,0.12611306842667752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16099326185409854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05812524016740045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489784437381637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16415549193119702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09209322872551776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06821392940829474,0.0,0.17362337515863768,0.06835378084925044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142790103325207,0.0,0.06850224177858319,0.0717140606278575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06894492619964084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05698694209891245,0.0,0.0,0.06809797174029547,0.10003542061361698,0.09858893374043504,0.0,0.0,0.1906045280075292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07077564760558973,0.050593954017053036,0.0,0.06880575692866622,0.0,0.0,0.2385505698994297,0.15480219979959262,0.09576782229071076,0.0,0.08268671394386805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06093407015079525,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,veamiic,2020/04/02,"My 23 year old brother is in a medically induced coma and on a ventilator because of alcohol/withdraws. I planned on making this post more in-depth because theres so much more to it but I cant collect my thoughts.

I'm sure this is said a lot here but it needs to be repeated. If anyone reading this is struggling with alcoholism/drugs or feel you might be headed down that path, please get help. Or if you know anyone who is, please help them the best you can.",3.6476958525345613,4.985806795698927,4.563471582181262,86.00806451612905,72.44086021505377,7.464823348694317,29.414746543778804,7.957251820313856,1.8415327188940096,364,15,75,5,7,118,68,93,0.037000000000000005,0.747,0.217,0.9587,0,0,3,0,0,0,10.0,0,3,1,2,3,3,0,1,4,0,9,3,1,2,1,17,17,8,0,3,6,1,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,7,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,8,2,8,12,5,8,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,6,3,51,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20613009135461488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2697324005033642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23515574962486746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20241568961899686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236795971074136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752593754600247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007718537929908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19795055460282648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25856683404473985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600181913247364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16397970233843304,0.0,0.0,0.12874891641846806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943063361875608,0.0,0.20461522911483213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417890136300056,0.14301809677749192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20239514345803505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4234486998860871,0.0,0.0,0.1847257498461096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929322240606155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18347307569644747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20164008399464564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18178714373522376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15312519731250931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242084142027176
addiction,chiknsalad,2020/04/02,Where to find a good program? I don’t think I can ask for recommendations so where can I go to get some for a residential program?  There are so many it’s overwhelming.,1.2444117647058803,3.7189331470588254,3.3426470588235304,86.23691176470591,85.17647058823529,6.9294117647058835,23.20588235294117,8.07648339933343,1.371788235294118,133,5,29,3,4,45,25,34,0.0,0.889,0.111,0.504,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,8,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,4,8,1,3,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,20,4,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4433057068819473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4334030909591389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477458591552668,0.0,0.26949436178582625,0.3977299294434952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4807564754545901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3038432223423498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,EnlightenmentAddict,2020/04/02,"I’ve decided to channel my focus for recovery into a book and a podcast I’m just over 5 years clean and the difference is night and day. I owe so much to recovery and learning a new way of life. I go to meetings, work in the recovery field, and write music and now a book. I’m just always trying to grow. 

I definitely still have an obsessive personality, and o do my best to use that defect in a non-defective way. So Im going for it and writing a book and starting a podcast. I did a little test run, it’s just me talking about recovery and life. I feel I have some decent views on the topics. It’s scatterbrained and loose (I wouldn’t consider myself a strong public speaker) but it’s real. If you wanna check it out it’s called The Recovery Pod on YouTube and soundcloud. 

Sorry if this is against sub rules, just trying to spread the message. Help is out there. Hope is out there. It’s possible to live a new way of life. Just requires showing up for it. 

Stay safe, stay sane, and stay inside!",1.4776683087027926,3.7020090492610818,3.5258128078817736,87.00165845648606,81.66009852216749,6.625287356321839,23.952380952380953,7.793537801064563,1.3673750410509031,779,29,159,14,21,264,116,203,0.033,0.861,0.106,0.9407,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,4,12,6,0,1,16,0,9,3,0,1,0,38,18,18,0,5,8,0,1,0,0,1,3,1,1,1,10,17,0,2,3,5,2,4,1,2,0,0,1,3,12,4,25,16,3,29,0,0,1,0,10,11,0,4,8,102,22,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12306291826324554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15520974368418533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510203134865544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09538192386053802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545218491476773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07478163277543827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16810759381198545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991328590013334,0.0,0.0,0.14689600686825313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15975513426697918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.313394026736239,0.0,0.14823257118355745,0.1305965740026546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10872198940788658,0.0,0.0,0.2856814677394501,0.0,0.1387921801317442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291387600709753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667326840405398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16834021325934648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16555961416108414,0.10468290982575484,0.4729185165462764,0.11811147088848638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188747467573191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20082596039062747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127736317858769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3521834572133753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767144806256904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09524141220529993
addiction,IssuesOverflowing,2020/04/02,"I said I'd be back. I got a message telling me my account is a year old. So I wanted to give an update of my journey

I am 267 days clean now. I was in a recovery house for two and a half months, then went to treatment for three months, and came back to the recovery house at Christmas 2019.
I was supposed to move out of the recovery house close to the end of next April 2020 because they only give a person six months to stay here and that will be up. 
But the Covid-19 pandemic has kept the house under fairly strict isolation rules, and I'm grateful for them. I have been looking for work and an apartment or room to rent, but the isolation situation has made that more difficult than ever. They have given me an assurance that I won't be kicked out without anywhere to go. 
I haven't left the property for 15 days now. All recovery meetings (AA, NA, CODA) have been cancelled until further notice, I am definitely feeling that. I haven't tried the online ones yet but that's the logical thing to do. 
It was emotional to read my first post to this sub, it seems like so long ago. 

Thanks internet strangers",4.550651515151515,5.4607460954545495,5.148181818181818,84.27560606060608,69.86363636363636,8.593939393939394,30.12121212121212,8.841846274778883,2.2701757575757577,871,34,177,15,15,280,135,220,0.053,0.848,0.099,0.8425,1,2,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,3,2,9,4,0,0,17,0,21,0,0,1,3,23,37,13,0,1,5,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,3,1,9,9,0,1,3,1,2,5,4,1,1,6,12,3,19,3,28,20,2,40,0,0,1,0,10,11,0,2,23,121,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100487347280688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190922603289873,0.0,0.07567879690030377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14199097851874568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16012895794508716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396485508468548,0.10995730312249807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11229797703634094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06277240196618299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10559928825463354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23818603443204106,0.07055554325767342,0.0,0.09929161558775502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5729954093238663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348859682277634,0.0,0.0,0.06065190359648642,0.0,0.0,0.10986609830080364,0.10425212735805796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11747079689688608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29727860932455336,0.13194850570471434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13203163473430546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14134206652938916,0.1302712859864407,0.0,0.08412515122002548,0.09441931041376588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840028300708918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11889841117779497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12418049419160955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11809212961584488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11301867356070475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395463152153933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323240752937226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085098610908488,0.11429778427239455,0.0,0.0,0.08247768280752121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842875947142044,0.0,0.12127348036756402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07322505713947494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150854184780813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196731797474134,0.0,0.0903804205286686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07994653217496528
addiction,UsernameTaken-Bitch,2020/04/02,"Is it wrong to ask my friend to replace my boyfriend as a source? I have recognized that I am in an unhealthy relationship. One that does not make me happy, that does not promote my betterment, and one that is enabling. I'm not sure that I'd even be with the person today if he hadn't introduced me to cocaine and made it accessible on a regular basis. He is also my source for marijuana, and sometimes mushrooms and LSD. I want to leave the relationship. I wouldn't mind if I never did coke again, but the other drugs I have a hard time letting go of. Is it wrong for me to ask my friend, who is a casual drug user and dealer, to sell me marijuana and psychedelics in order to remove my only motivation to stay in this unhealthy relationship?

My friend does not want to promote unhealthy habits for me, but I don't see myself leaving this person when they are the only connection I have to the substances I crave",6.514666666666668,6.205525577777783,7.228888888888887,75.295,65.44444444444444,10.088888888888887,33.0,9.642632912329526,2.952433333333333,724,27,139,13,10,241,97,180,0.149,0.754,0.09699999999999999,-0.8363,0,0,3,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,5,4,9,0,0,10,0,16,3,0,3,2,24,25,13,0,5,8,0,1,0,3,1,2,0,0,2,12,7,1,0,1,1,1,2,8,2,0,2,3,2,23,7,20,19,0,13,0,0,1,0,14,4,0,2,5,102,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10126401495011468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367593525335917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11199178761036208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33243789642803995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2936955388265252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08363630992603054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29349641903208873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07196536116876244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13479739353765247,0.11343342265610055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26816060748920395,0.0,0.12948526061666651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981806014295455,0.08452488038659822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12785773936177805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766298154644644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17161222524546185,0.1926119327128321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22113260439115992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4078518350920101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009057717585094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523789589474374,0.0,0.0,0.13496813191640467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934497786450543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383754925324522,0.0,0.1200281218546876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14937643281692026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768947197104374,0.0,0.0
addiction,dannylee3782,2020/04/02,"Hardest Part About Recovery Hey reddit,

I'm doing some personal research right now.

If you could share what one/two hardest thing about recovery from whatever your addiction is or something that makes you stumble, I'd really appreciate it!",11.4509756097561,11.007881048780492,10.536707317073173,56.03237804878053,55.585365853658544,15.029268292682927,47.32926829268293,13.816669648895859,7.182599999999999,197,11,27,7,2,63,36,41,0.0,0.868,0.132,0.6689,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,3,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,5,5,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,3,4,2,2,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,3,1,18,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3904928158604093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28599497645035465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391024715255877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24272679838480865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38789762430268215,0.0,0.0,0.3127679802857175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294732343657229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3059023653608196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27576123258305063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23797334799086656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3499110930762241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Whiskeybreath1,2020/04/02,"Is going to rehab worth returning to normalcy? I’ll get to the point. I’m a functioning addict with a good job I do well at. I’m addicted to multiple drugs I must take everyday or else I go into withdrawal and cannot function

I’m tired of living like this, the drugs have no real positive effect anymore... I don’t believe I’ve gotten high from using in over 2 years.

My questions is to those who have put their life on pause to get clean, was it worth it? Did you stay clean? How was returning to mundane life after leaving the facility? Did your efficiency at work decline? Stay the same or even improve?",1.5368004722550168,4.052309297520662,3.676582054309328,84.09721074380165,84.12396694214875,7.093506493506492,24.34533648170012,8.192908349453996,1.87950720188902,479,19,92,11,14,163,86,121,0.017,0.7440000000000001,0.239,0.9749,1,0,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,1,2,3,3,0,0,6,0,12,8,0,3,1,12,22,4,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,8,0,2,0,5,3,0,0,2,0,2,3,3,0,1,0,5,0,8,3,17,16,1,18,0,0,0,0,5,8,0,3,6,56,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3622371104080923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16476753958948714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18718436682659906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3853423548021327,0.0,0.13878974872591865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10973477071741906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17360395825337555,0.0,0.18884387449505455,0.1393514513272919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17553741961055191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16486961772375705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17591966219155872,0.0,0.0,0.2347010463575247,0.08116825370354834,0.0,0.1467058237596586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570572429713025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670179087077441,0.1861162944589745,0.0,0.0,0.18910518784043315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3541690689869957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12491759128636447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19095499960980347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14349275146463933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14938099369694635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12095285503502876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069895588021146
addiction,Napkween1113,2020/04/02,"There is hope. 9 Years. 
I never thought I would make it this far. Any other person would say that they’re thankful for their support system, but I’m thankful to myself. I did it. I made the choice to better myself, I held myself accountable, I learned to stand on my own two feet. It wasn’t pretty, there were lots of tears, and self doubt. I wanted to give up more than I can count, but I sat until those feelings passed. They always pass. Knowing that they always pass, is what gets me through. I no longer wear the scarlet letter of addiction with shame, but now with pride. I wouldn’t be who I am today with out it. 
9 FUCKING YEARS.",1.3894150731158597,3.7625394881889775,2.163605174353208,95.70781496062992,83.25196850393702,4.2584926884139485,18.520247469066366,5.288315135182226,-0.4800681664791906,493,12,103,2,14,153,88,127,0.094,0.737,0.16899999999999998,0.872,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,3,2,3,9,1,2,2,0,11,4,2,2,1,23,27,5,0,5,3,0,1,0,0,3,1,1,0,2,11,5,0,1,4,0,1,3,4,3,0,1,7,2,20,6,16,16,3,15,0,0,0,1,9,4,1,3,6,73,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131503357372512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3253837435386577,0.0,0.0,0.13296322149465245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17292534471719692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09886295548572484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807590547630788,0.10215337115883774,0.1875647146023021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19419973660720496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10745503596267812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16622775869445014,0.0,0.1850098100554755,0.13051398133660952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15080038554957295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707242676382404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989184944047403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548876257150346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039744759370706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22187864635836185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3600249920251964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552244453790432,0.0,0.0,0.1853341641415064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19099881979403013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11532529165156888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27778969041593554,0.0,0.0,0.2518224635058445
addiction,Pro-Procrastinater,2020/04/03,"Can I talk about food addiction here? I'm addicted to food, specifically junk food like cake and chocolate. I feel like I have nowhere to go because its not taken seriously as an addiction. Is this the right place to post about that or should I find a different sub to post about it?",4.7131818181818215,6.1013297272727325,5.219772727272726,82.12965909090909,69.9090909090909,9.863636363636363,30.113636363636363,10.125756701596842,2.9223636363636363,225,9,46,6,4,72,41,55,0.0,0.87,0.13,0.7076,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,3,0,4,6,0,0,0,6,8,3,0,1,2,0,1,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,1,3,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,1,4,2,8,6,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,27,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5581455433794845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10403494627523836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17830713768874354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629264382628286,0.12192210965601012,0.0,0.0,0.15598343820461413,0.0,0.6191013062075142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09699205659812553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16675522842848134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17830713768874354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3268971052853365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14574578157021165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13717293673799158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,smoresofcourse,2020/04/03,"Self love naturally brings many answers to why and how you’ll quit. I think self love is the best way to counteract whatever led you to addiction.

If you’re kicking your way out of an addiction, be sure to go on a journey of self love before, during, and after reducing your reptile brain impulse to reach for things that bury parts of yourself you’re not accepting.

If you don’t know many ways you accept and love yourself, list as many ways you love as many parts of yourself as you can, and keep discovering more. Work on it every. Single. Day.",5.425768194070081,6.3194259433962285,5.6779784366576855,81.32537735849056,67.86792452830188,9.076010781671158,30.23719676549865,9.23628265651192,2.4836781671159045,434,16,84,8,7,138,68,106,0.018000000000000002,0.7290000000000001,0.253,0.9834,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,8,0,3,1,9,0,0,3,0,5,8,1,2,1,17,15,10,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,3,5,0,1,5,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,9,9,17,13,5,13,0,0,0,5,16,3,0,2,2,49,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501653030322637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09763459840333392,0.0,0.12041169939950767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12808688080259525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07399728439350599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09667271490294273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06520892494369168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019854626133428,0.0,0.0,0.0630576572656278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5177829863221045,0.0,0.0,0.4653101121132385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24850271960922404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220392504086138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3590939916220361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10814032720162486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762276184038925,0.07352023897300611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36429850838698574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10353427100830234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08353149570558042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,today-youcan,2020/04/03,"WE GOT THIS!  

Hi all!  I am a recovering mental health professional (321 days today).  Given our current circumstances, I have started a blog that is geared toward helping individuals with mental health and addiction issues. 

You can see the blog by clicking this link: www.todayyoucan.net 

You can also subscribe to be notified by e-mail when something new is posted if you want by leaving your name and e-mail in the prompted box!

It is my sincere hope that this is a help to everyone that chooses to check it out!",5.096370967741933,7.512753193548392,5.819018817204302,74.04852822580645,70.82795698924731,8.090860215053763,30.97983870967742,8.841846274778883,2.8877322580645166,409,18,67,8,8,133,68,93,0.0,0.862,0.138,0.8994,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,2,4,0,0,2,2,0,0,5,0,9,3,0,0,1,12,15,5,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,9,2,10,12,1,10,0,0,2,0,10,3,0,2,6,47,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313832521545381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16973582495666675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136883349577583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20281346491129196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16975529099842804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45122252403409796,0.0,0.0,0.28453269223517674,0.0,0.0,0.21081161551216274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215333031646448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22474154296313228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42779508951677947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20499186131741945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20327632166382484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16913534803806748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16340001204021984,0.0,0.0,0.15023126773400947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20118768045135316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12519023695512355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,max-drago,2020/04/03,"My thoughts on the coronavirus quarantine and the impact it has had on me as an addict. Now, the first thing I want to mention is that I have two ways of looking at this. This quarantine can be a very constructive period of reflection for addicts to inventory their patterns and challenge them selves. Yet somewhat on the contrary this period of time can remind us of feelings of loneliness and powerlessness we felt when we faced our addictions alone and without the support of a healthy community. How somebody would perceive the quarantine may not be the same as another’s. For me, I’m home with my parents and brother and I take online zoom courses. Being in my old room has been challenging yet offered a beneficial opportunity. To reflect on my childhood and l have manifested that. As time went on and I was faced with challenges, I was able to overcome them because I have a strong support system and I’m lucky enough to have a roof over my head and not be sick. 

Let me know if you want more.",5.918481996726676,7.267737026595743,6.3063829787234065,75.60653846153849,67.03191489361703,9.61440261865794,35.738134206219314,9.851270322608157,3.685309656301147,803,40,142,18,13,259,116,188,0.049,0.826,0.125,0.893,2,4,0,0,0,0,13.0,4,1,3,6,5,8,0,0,13,0,20,7,3,1,0,33,33,16,0,4,4,2,2,0,0,2,4,0,2,0,7,14,0,0,7,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,7,3,22,8,27,19,4,23,0,0,1,0,12,9,0,4,11,113,29,3,0.15972030935036605,0.0,0.0,0.522356138385066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654220713619836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674806706241765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09736401810966924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16503377548887302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807593874658748,0.0,0.1533565444656103,0.0,0.0,0.1358580135402635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16391911670383874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16021249307643246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877781049720133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16332483769278688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13412483326648594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16759959681524486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17735050190932974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3624974285589936,0.0,0.0,0.12008979519372034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611107643656023,0.0,0.0,0.12680008469250914,0.18626839363780395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560235339666549,0.0,0.1921238663054976,0.0,0.0,0.13178598247802994,0.18841435333073556,0.12677854719386844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14806232693709478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15396467858122218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134607251629519,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,katariana444,2020/04/03,"A friend of mine needs to recover (I think) but I dont know much about drug use Alright, Ive been friends with someone for about a month. Ive got this whole other post in relationship\_advice bc theres the possibility we could be more than friends, but, thats not really the point.

He's always drank some and smoked weed some, I dont know if this is the place to say it, but Ive do the same occasionally and never really saw it as a problem. 

A few weeks ago he did MDMA for the first time and really had a great time. He also was like, the drug isnt addictive because you cant take it more than every few weeks. 

Well he just went through A LOT of stuff. Anniversary of his sisters death, his dad is in the hospital possibly dying, had to go back to his home he was heavily abused in because his sr semester of college was cancelled thanks to coronavirus, isnt optimistic about finding a job in the current economy to be able to escape that house soon, his car just died....

Anyway when he got back into town, he bought more MDMA. He was like, Im gonna do it again because it was a few weeks ago. I figure, ok, whatever, have a great time. Well he bought LSD too and did that two days in a row, prior to the day he did MDMA. He didnt take a lot though so he wasnt like, hallucinating. Anyway yesterday he basically rolled out of bed and took MDMA a second day in a row and then added LSD to it.I guess this is a common thing, but dangerous? Then while we were facetiming he started doing shots of vodka.

But I was like OK this is just gonna worsen your depression. Like, maybe dont keep doing this? And he was like, no I know me Ill keep taking MDMA until I run out. So I was like...alright well, at least then youll be out and even if the hangover/depression lasts like a couple weeks...youll get through it.

Except now he's talking about buying more MDMA. I know its one of those things like, I cant help, he has to help himself or whatever. And maybe the person I thought I knew isnt him since clearly we havent known eachother a long time. But he really, -really- was doing a lot better when we met. He had been away from home for 2 years, and graduating with high honors/deans list/top of his class. 

​

I feel like he's about to permanently derail his life and I dont even know enough about these kinds of drugs or how to help to know what to do. Am I overreacting because its not like, oxy or heroin or coke or something known to be addictive?",2.752519801980199,4.164153061386139,4.171373762376238,87.64240717821781,74.82178217821783,7.505445544554457,23.12004950495049,8.158263871857827,1.078276237623763,1916,53,418,31,40,635,234,505,0.105,0.742,0.153,0.9771,3,0,6,0,1,0,73.0,4,3,0,2,30,27,1,0,28,3,52,9,0,2,2,70,85,37,3,5,19,2,1,10,3,3,7,1,3,1,23,21,2,2,14,1,3,5,16,3,3,4,31,3,36,24,55,46,17,57,0,1,1,0,48,16,0,13,45,267,59,4,0.06667961082609877,0.07900443529827568,0.0,0.14538123616133258,0.0,0.0,0.11821490355967686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05332366068695134,0.055482777799567035,0.07224733047163089,0.0810230256008142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264768932968487,0.1025450096770542,0.0,0.16258908744727146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05897269711458646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053238243475325416,0.07377972111261086,0.0,0.12900849814878793,0.0,0.11486210219585602,0.0,0.13840581736921462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3125920291374376,0.0,0.2319815375487327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06889786256687208,0.0,0.08808250816050231,0.0,0.05618044798902151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03371521473180962,0.04763592729738119,0.0,0.0,0.060943956292051175,0.05671764290538464,0.0,0.0,0.15454950575495288,0.0,0.0348373445571913,0.0,0.03789555946470643,0.0,0.10665955215200816,0.1470290126709582,0.0734551088507434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13408181277258455,0.07045066980244571,0.13377017276345612,0.0,0.0,0.0769393183173982,0.0,0.0,0.07202542197085259,0.0,0.06616922491216595,0.11853580369057773,0.0,0.06943655374041538,0.21987222172530355,0.05435278243237504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047097781076840366,0.3583391870563131,0.0,0.0,0.0590093572961127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17006586191670325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13397726284732225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05322302920079746,0.0,0.04901718621153688,0.049442086533271326,0.05142742653670381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04518382997765638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0582220642208632,0.06966600128155201,0.0,0.06303378498557234,0.15034248482159654,0.06386063522453589,0.0,0.0,0.0638033822824329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135833306210791,0.0,0.0,0.07158894787949595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05302630285252357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0551580631234346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564974178694377,0.05133322208497164,0.0,0.0,0.047196171740786164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633220143876314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15040430688381012,0.05359454540325145,0.0,0.061389626960425214,0.0,0.0,0.08859794111226521,0.042725602212684635,0.06551237908576622,0.052936162811116516,0.1555256691836964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07408350108885932,0.0,0.0,0.06513629085069955,0.0,0.0,0.05758977473240715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16045908525772104,0.0,0.17985893409598988,0.061812667270228126,0.0,0.07444540422115575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810230256008142,0.04293948319509211
addiction,canadiansnowwhite,2020/04/03,Addiction to the future/predicting the future I have really bad anxiety and I find that I would waste my money on getting tarot/psychic readings to ease my frustration and to reassure myself that things will be fine. I don't want to live like this anymore. I'm deleting all my online accounts on websites that offer readings. I'm in control of my life and nothing is set into stone unless I allow it.,4.7441991341991345,6.558523181818187,5.9656493506493495,75.14942640692642,70.42857142857143,8.25021645021645,32.31385281385281,8.841846274778883,3.0968372294372286,323,15,52,6,6,108,56,77,0.159,0.7040000000000001,0.13699999999999998,-0.4202,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,2,0,6,2,0,2,1,11,10,4,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,6,4,0,1,1,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,10,3,10,7,1,6,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,38,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917184540850296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204709727170568,0.0,0.2653827040431544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234309581880179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001309638402335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445773221464926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13980753729970502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18901052500783871,0.13073358201485713,0.0,0.2362916160866235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567649765603649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5353355742979433,0.0,0.17142844750053016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777784747111727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578346835867607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19009207461157512,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,alejandroclark,2020/04/03,"Does anyone use affirmations for addiction? I've used affirmations for a lot of things around my general well-being.

I was wondering if anyone had any success with using affirmations for sobriety, breaking a bad habit, etc.

I took my list of affirmations I thought would be helpful for addiction and recorded them.

[Here's the video on YouTube.](https://youtu.be/Uqo54Rdvfts)

Hope it's helpful. I welcome feedback!",6.977142857142859,10.552701588235298,6.2456302521008435,67.58676470588239,69.88235294117646,9.768067226890755,37.655462184873954,9.957137785484203,5.006728571428573,340,19,46,10,7,104,51,68,0.05,0.7290000000000001,0.221,0.8999,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,1,2,4,0,0,3,0,4,2,0,3,0,13,11,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,0,7,3,9,5,2,4,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,4,0,30,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4301965985744608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13417836154152846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759291152525512,0.0,0.0,0.17564877350511726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16474658507668696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17266833433460788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200541111615421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645070359307036,0.0,0.0,0.1959745121759037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677469006362704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13108477377679045,0.0,0.0,0.15664302893706697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21921996964964116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5112404982247722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774064377548205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21397554689990494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14016419388062784,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,No-Way-AA,2020/04/03,"Alcoholics Anonymous is Bio Hazard. Today on the Zoom App.

​

The good old AA members kept blocking me and kicking me out of the zoom online meetings.

Mostly because I put forward positions and information that the brain-washed cannot deal with...

Liek the stats on the AA relapse rate, the churn rate were 50% of newcomers are gone within 3 months and at the end of every year there are only 5% of the newcomers left..... 

When you ask, ""Why does AA have such a stupendous failure rate? And what are you people in the groups and service structure doing to promote the ""unpalatability"" of the membership of AA, and to reverse it?

They have no answers.

Warfare breaks out.  So with my 43 years of being around AA - I am no push over to the bullshit and I will and do hammer these people when they try it on.  ""We serve up our clubby crap to him and expect to get away with it, and he wipes the floor with everyone in the group. Tsk, Tsk, Tsk - we have better boot him from the online meetings"".

So I launch this into their chat rooms.

​

The AA failure rate - how much of this is due to AA being the worst performing of all treatments (George Valiant - AA trustee conducted university trials - look them up) and people just not willing to put in the effort to deal with ALL their issues - not just alcohol?

For every 10,000 welcome to NA / AA chips are bought by the groups, only ONE 20 years drug free medallion is bought. What happened to the the other 9,999 people? I did the global research on the issue 10 years ago, and had it published here. [https://www.orange-papers.org/orange-effectiveness.html](https://www.orange-papers.org/orange-effectiveness.html) If you don't believe me, ask your area / national office for their sales figures.

Of course the dickheads in this meeting will screech ""You can't say that"" - ""Well I can, and I have, and what I say is true. It's been 41 years, 10 months and 17 days since I made the decision to stop using. And all the vitriolic fuckwits that will denounce me and kick me from the group - You are the ones, who are going to become the ones, who are going to die using. LOL - Your the 9,999, out of the 10,000 who were not prepared to do what it takes to get to 20 years drug free.

""Oh boot him! boot him from the meeting"".... they screech.

Well the intolerance of people who convey information based upon fact, and the unwillingness to make the most of the opportunity when it comes your way, AND the unwillingness to do anything other than talk shit instead of putting in the hard work - that's where the 9,999 relapsers out of the 10,000 come from.

In all my years, NOT one of you ever have the humility and scincerity to ask, ""What do I have to do, to stay drug free, deal with all my issues, one day at a time, for the rest of my life?"" - To me, almost all of the people here, are just talkers of shit.  The clubby, crawly, incrowd....

Gods special education team - totally intolerant of any opinion, other than their own.

Get on the phone, and ask your regional offices for a copy of their medallion sales figures for the last 10 years....

It's not the absolute accuracy that is the issue, it's the gaping chasm between 10,000 welcome to AA / NA keytags, being sold to the groups, for every ONE 20 years drug free medallion....

So for everyone of me, there are like 100,000 who have sailed themselves into the garbage bins of life.....

To me, your loser retarded opinons, do not count for anything.

The majority of people in AA freely give me their disapproval....

Haaaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaa The majority of the Gossiping, Retarded Arsehole, LOSERS in AA relapse......

You bring your relapses upon yourselves and your bring it upon each other....

AA is in serious decline... I saw the trustees report that they alluded to the fact that because the insurance companies are no longer paying for the rehab revolving doors, not enough fresh members are being recruited by the AA cultists, to make up for the churn rate and relapse rate of AA, and without enough unpaid workers to make all the literature sales to the newcomers, who then do not become more unpaid workers, AA is facing insolvency. AA is becoming bankrupt.

So for the most part, your all going to die using.",6.736867547018804,7.721928728104576,6.386357209550487,77.08268907563027,64.98692810457516,8.806989462451648,31.6906762705082,8.841846274778883,2.5339163665466202,3307,123,591,49,49,1030,319,765,0.10099999999999999,0.841,0.057999999999999996,-0.9863,0,0,6,0,0,0,189.0,3,15,11,11,23,22,3,0,67,1,52,13,4,9,13,92,83,34,2,2,13,0,1,1,0,4,9,2,2,0,36,42,2,3,6,2,11,13,15,8,19,6,12,5,57,18,115,63,23,81,0,2,2,0,69,40,3,6,28,412,93,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054420643950420115,0.13121957513005886,0.061475604169563436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13303724419079366,0.14919693186677715,0.0417489261542528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10104140163898112,0.05465223743904931,0.2295743656079401,0.0,0.057680165404969085,0.0,0.0,0.07484845456668636,0.20340919334416604,0.0,0.06916819316524328,0.0,0.05429657438833428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853420389560304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057682050181901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07918601724967153,0.18987855560941488,0.0,0.0,0.1274312033577823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053724888696619434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2847826972259325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054375429738145215,0.12686948717270427,0.0,0.0,0.05553292584188541,0.15517719331093754,0.11732610708674035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09622495982672508,0.05889316858489281,0.10467211934354853,0.051493018710222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0542890821592758,0.0,0.054995517107010235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25631079338586177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05004298665224944,0.0,0.0,0.06670300452767057,0.0,0.08672651239929904,0.02999321762940468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05155414024564574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05809095786784189,0.12293967852919645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09800562991238224,0.0,0.04513046592171637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06442097938835477,0.0,0.2496064082771811,0.0933833485095248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06648196890889296,0.0,0.2979322418755267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18514890694243516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976433752648648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260367992827859,0.0507844142125431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06543611251344579,0.0,0.05132678174673274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046159432170082115,0.04934487252028421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0357983926431243,0.0,0.058192801329765516,0.0,0.0,0.041681398634100635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590699242578208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04873041660514827,0.0,0.0,0.1103982517601799,0.0,0.05539707731973943,0.0,0.0,0.05918006709974012,0.0,0.04469438651733446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14919693186677715,0.355812140501549
addiction,octobersmess,2020/04/03,"Up all night I’ve been up all night trying not to relapse. The next online NA meeting is in 7 hours. Are there any support groups on discord (or somewhere else) for when I don’t have any other options? I need support, I can’t do this alone right now.",1.432500000000001,3.4037064807692365,2.5352307692307683,95.40976923076923,80.34615384615384,4.16,23.861538461538462,3.1291,-0.03131230769230742,195,7,42,0,5,62,42,52,0.096,0.7979999999999999,0.105,0.1154,0,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,0,2,6,10,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,6,9,2,11,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,2,6,26,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578403510214207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33859331586402786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20796838601426687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24516867449436766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845955833149256,0.0,0.0,0.26476446643968937,0.46725127539584205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212604603426788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5650180985793971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16902282613480893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,amaracibo,2020/04/03,"It’s my fault. This shit is my fault.

I was just laying in bed wondering why I can’t sleep. Then I came to a conclusion. I tell you why I can’t sleep, because I’m addicted to unprescribed uppers. Why do I sit in self pity when I’m the one mentally making the decision to physically pop the pill.  Then I act like I’m unaware it might cause problems. Took a 70MG Vyvanse right after taking a 30 instant adderall the day before. To top it off the “high” started to fade so I drank 80 proof vodka. Because that’s a great mix, right? 

I’m mad at the world because my emotions are unstable and I “need” drugs. First of all, if I need to be mad at anything it should be myself. I act like my mom isn’t the strongest women alive. She probably deals with more shit than I do and I’m the one strung out on drugs. People are emotionally mature enough to deal with their problems without abusing drugs, so I have the same capabilities. I just think I’m special and need drugs to “fix my brain”. 

I for some reason refuse to believe therapy, prescribed and dosed medication, exercise, and overall healthier habits will help me at all. Thing is you all, I’ve practice these healthy habits before and surprise, I felt fuckin’ better. Not perfect, but functional and overall better. Nonetheless, drugs always seem to creep back into my life and once again drain my soul. The problem is I allow it to. This shit is my fault. 6 months in rehab wasn’t enough for me apparently. And this isn’t a blow to anyone. I’m obviously aware of the hardships that come with addiction. I’m just very upset with myself and needed to vent. 

I’m done. I need advice, even if you’re struggling yourself. Sorry for all this nonsense in written form, but I’m on drugs so I honestly don’t give a shit what people think. I just want to be healthy again. I don’t think the high is worth it anymore.",2.3419263285024168,4.600502190217392,3.563514492753627,87.7208574879227,78.72826086956522,6.371497584541062,24.624396135265695,7.492282038375204,1.2205414251207736,1458,53,291,21,36,473,191,368,0.145,0.741,0.114,-0.9311,1,0,7,0,0,0,44.0,0,2,1,6,12,25,7,2,18,0,25,23,7,4,7,61,56,20,0,12,10,1,1,2,0,3,14,0,1,2,15,18,1,1,9,2,1,5,9,16,0,3,8,1,37,9,38,42,10,37,1,1,0,1,13,19,5,6,14,175,52,0,0.0,0.08799345296344163,0.0,0.16192251634521115,0.0,0.07257219487852122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061795533126148924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07365224008186805,0.051928742373433215,0.0,0.061114858933760965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057106221008901226,0.0,0.13581619023646735,0.0,0.1263903480154724,0.0836727183001813,0.0,0.13136506146998336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082905781892905,0.0,0.0849408929151317,0.0,0.07629197507317156,0.0,0.06397386442103774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04789563679085994,0.15313064351024436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760002368832377,0.0,0.0,0.5167521655110623,0.0,0.0,0.16707924301923185,0.0,0.15347393614474816,0.0,0.04905220833147508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130732010151818,0.0,0.0,0.06317089951152616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124302774595244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187888731739086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04977915328809779,0.15693290322498554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05245650283077051,0.07256555173056857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049573349727927284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07481551088841994,0.07484298963913065,0.07878483636786973,0.0,0.08697982418945134,0.0592786733918275,0.0,0.0,0.27533770093758114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909121409406518,0.10064956993455852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10297383979630786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08007166112008501,0.21318853415943395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07635815283786257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268460743535999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06760927453614715,0.07747597558241626,0.0,0.30493326829142275,0.0,0.0,0.1486399218105704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831350724135988,0.05256608825122532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776392895653245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0558390350841836,0.0,0.06491204291501368,0.0,0.08493001690151912,0.0,0.04933924743899811,0.14276059012798129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251262152331211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06127749728712269,0.0438042036337358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010414252467607,0.0,0.0,0.07159008869282739,0.08053866326508946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,dollfacedslut,2020/04/03,"start of addiction? i’ve experimented with many drugs in my life. my mother was an alcoholic and i am unsure of my dad’s lifestyle traits as i never met him and he was not a part of my life. despite experimenting with all this stuff, i have never felt the need to do anything. as soon as i feel myself start to develop some sort of tolerance to whatever i’m doing, i am easily able to just stop. however, as of recently, despite still feeling this way, i have noticed that my feelings of sorrow are intensified quite a bit. is this how an addiction starts? i’m starting to feel my happiest when i’m drinking. and when i’m sober, i just feel overwhelmed with sadness even though i don’t feel a need to drink.",2.66605564648118,4.782189397163123,4.5407092198581545,81.82615384615389,77.01418439716312,8.026404800872887,27.1582105837425,8.841846274778883,2.2871294053464264,559,23,110,13,13,190,84,141,0.09,0.8390000000000001,0.071,-0.366,1,0,4,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,9,3,0,1,6,0,11,8,0,1,3,25,29,11,0,2,3,2,7,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,5,6,3,1,7,2,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,7,16,0,20,25,4,14,0,3,0,0,5,1,0,2,12,76,21,0,0.13765528040313693,0.0,0.0,0.3001291486438896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14711163110696132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327856678175667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150283913795178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26969953776498723,0.15963642260852695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09092001444840273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26930655642328993,0.0,0.0,0.41761587510129994,0.0,0.1321706564176608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944599909980408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13956084847818415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20413929239040285,0.2123364768515064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567214491120268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490672542674487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14641333503212428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359179825413314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38973246390872096,0.0,0.10993168474651982,0.11508597821245632,0.0,0.0,0.15758236232430084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13524561408204872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092643542581161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Texas_Red488,2020/04/03,"I am not my father I have been overtaking on my ADD medication for a little over two years now... I have to make a change, and quit the stuff for good, but I fear that I can not be successful at work without it. Does anyone have any advice to offer?",2.3701923076923066,3.5203964038461564,4.23,87.89000000000001,75.34615384615384,7.507692307692308,20.69230769230769,8.07648339933343,0.7086000000000006,191,4,43,3,4,65,41,52,0.161,0.802,0.037000000000000005,-0.8155,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,4,1,3,0,1,3,0,7,1,0,1,0,7,8,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,7,2,8,6,0,6,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,34,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26599849391142216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851107651742485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19033415325482492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2879599561399471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382110432921757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3063096630459192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283151441874897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27282391399536443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817009446640779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742209085841392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28952670029953825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3116130192591457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659076493635744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623987851428925,0.0,0.19817065609421955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17529301856418214
addiction,pomflo,2020/04/03,How to Stop Chewing Gum? i am unluckily addicted to suger-free gum and i can't stop it,-1.4064912280701771,0.5711974736842116,3.027368421052632,84.63824561403509,100.57894736842104,6.743859649122808,22.12280701754386,7.793537801064563,1.6870912280701762,68,3,15,2,3,26,15,19,0.129,0.7609999999999999,0.11,-0.0803,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,4,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,9,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.546146307607693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8376898057673157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,jorclassman-pdf,2020/04/03,"To stay in a monogamous relationship as a sex addict ? (Would love to hear your thoughts.) I have just started my recovery with SAA this year. ( I am on step 2.)

I’ve been in a monogamous relationship for (almost literally) as long as I’ve been sober. I can only control myself when I’m dating someone because I’m so afraid of hurting them / cheating. 

When I’m single, it feels okay to have a lot of casual sex for some reason. Regardless, I ALWAYS act out when I’m single to a very extreme extent.

I realized that he is the reason why I stay sober. I want to be healthy, even when I’m alone. I think I want to end things because of this. If I have no concept of how to be sober when I’m alone or no desire to do it for myself then our relationship wouldn’t last in the long-run. 

He is so kind and very supportive. But I’m so restless and have not been able to stop thinking about this. I love him and we’ve been together (not exclusively) for a long time. However, I don’t think I can find a reason to be sober if I’m not dating him.

Is this insane? Is this grounds to end things with a partner? Any and all constructive thoughts would be helpful!",2.562772078501336,4.01609820762712,4.254210526315791,86.68525869759145,75.39830508474577,7.510793933987513,25.55664585191793,8.20500826718156,1.4750203389830512,891,31,192,15,19,300,115,236,0.098,0.7709999999999999,0.13,0.8206,1,2,0,0,0,0,33.0,1,1,1,1,12,10,1,2,10,1,24,5,0,5,1,40,45,21,0,9,8,0,1,0,1,3,1,1,0,1,10,7,0,2,11,1,0,2,7,4,0,0,6,2,21,6,30,32,6,27,0,1,0,4,15,6,0,6,17,125,31,0,0.1150181023487535,0.0,0.0,0.12538670886968925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11517401517181484,0.2382481327771336,0.0,0.0,0.09570427506223513,0.0,0.0,0.07821625373594167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14022793526474173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12900258197188152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037437989990741,0.0,0.0,0.0759683718397934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05815660845482416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10512446181814668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296337606081031,0.0,0.07709420952682654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12312925742531555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11977365413377415,0.0,0.09375510467585917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3053622035101288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977842775306471,0.20761665595256398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874764497504186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3547732963572414,0.0,0.3704591927981349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09745446487224904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141040483737164,0.24518798691658986,0.0,0.09616028373325712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305211795191866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528258328519036,0.22109686727298225,0.0,0.18262305123641065,0.06706798043063562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18980396021571244,0.13568131356314006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10378594744834983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16341111975596462,0.0,0.0,0.07406788689598355
addiction,slagern1,2020/04/03,"Kratom Addiction I've been heavily abusing kratom for the past year. I ingest 80-100g a day. It started about 6 months after I got clean from a methadone addiction, i had relapsed a little and found kratom to substitute. I have been taking it ever since. Although I do find it as a fantastic help to anxiety and depression, it also is making me emotionally empty (which isnt that bad because I never get sad) but it's not natural. I wanna be normal again and fear that the withdrawal will be just as bad as the methadone. Since the quarantine I've also been doing alot of cocaine but I dont see that being a big deal to kick after only like 3 weeks. I will happily take any advice for kicking this as I will run out by the end of tommarow (4/4/20). I just need some inspiration as I'm feeling hopeless about it. Maybe I'm overthinking it. I really appreciate any feedback from the community, everyone seems to have each others backs here. 

Thanks alot yall

-Dak",4.9414075286415695,6.047980702127662,6.1808510638297856,76.50653846153848,69.1063829787234,9.61440261865794,30.4189852700491,9.851270322608157,3.0128096563011466,764,30,141,18,13,257,120,188,0.1,0.718,0.182,0.9503,0,1,3,0,0,1,22.0,0,1,0,0,10,9,0,1,13,0,17,3,0,1,2,24,31,13,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,3,3,0,1,0,13,5,1,0,5,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,6,2,14,3,22,19,4,17,0,3,1,0,3,3,0,4,14,97,27,1,0.0,0.17788966308697368,0.0,0.32734642077078,0.0,0.14671367995737086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401315318147185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041987618733095,0.0,0.11485560057629413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544729833098225,0.2507188812639016,0.0915230830978577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682696161045043,0.1547862804841078,0.12931413650347506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17596129425200102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16888569119946986,0.13297821586876105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13580893863254706,0.0,0.14346384451907165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16894764030857304,0.0759145757691086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13722393953009945,0.0,0.0,0.16461920040387978,0.0,0.0,0.07844120982229001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12007953557097535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10063472348168423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335012500551788,0.1504782971288635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10021866609618713,0.0,0.1508343807486543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11983917987962207,0.0,0.0,0.11132585256150294,0.11579612645170065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471039281737119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418715342985095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14332426042865698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618261704354394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964100748550155,0.1366805218313997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24839236502389034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062688576693952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22577105008832954,0.0,0.0,0.13822743009041402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204321103744538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09668432120127336
addiction,4goodnessinnit,2020/04/03,"A week to taper but done the opposite I've had a week off work which I'd planned to use to taper off of diazepam and tramadol but I've ended up taking more each day.
Now I have to sort more out for my new job in case I run  out.
It's such a pain in the butt I just don't have the willpower. Once I start working I'll take fewer because I wont be bored.
I just hope I've not messed it all up by binging i dread to count how many I've got left. 
Life would be so much easier without being addicted to drugs. Doh!",1.052806513409962,1.9255375948275884,3.1694252873563222,95.29588122605364,78.22413793103449,6.1900383141762445,21.509578544061302,6.42735559955562,0.07959118773946372,395,10,100,3,9,135,80,116,0.075,0.809,0.11599999999999999,0.5551,2,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,3,6,5,0,1,6,0,10,5,1,2,1,16,16,5,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,3,0,8,1,18,8,5,17,0,0,0,1,0,9,1,2,7,60,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22324264353457746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12483322693488492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13206747044577735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20956311912663605,0.0,0.0,0.2374821449269859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18137609919884493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16378289942592664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20339476559564432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20321456991373188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224962786378608,0.0,0.14464360642165364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20761684021011698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15053835718313413,0.0,0.0,0.1977797640816704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21808618236978788,0.0,0.0,0.2179025219057037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14494577735510214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079412075844221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17686592701077689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3285275901063521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974025726797484,0.0,0.2981675187354976,0.0,0.0,0.14547128115141733,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,jultz-271,2020/04/03,"I need help So I don’t know who to reach out to so guess I’m trying here. I am stuck in this quarantine like many others except my husband has started up his addiction again. He discovered a way to get what he wants easily. He’s been out of it, passing out in random locations in our house, and not making sense in some conversation. I keep getting angry and we fight. He denies it and of course says I’m the crazy one. I know he’s using, but due to co-void 19 we can’t go anywhere or do anything. I don’t know what to do or how to handle the situation. I respond with anger, which I know is not the best approach. But sometimes I let my emotions get the best of me. I feel even more lonely during this quarantine and don’t want to open up to family and friends because they can get pretty judgmental. His parents normally would get involved but they are considered elderly and I don’t want to worry them about their son, when they have a virus to worry about. I don’t really know what I’m even looking for here, but how do I get through to an addict actively using? Especially during a quarantine where we cant seek any meetings or counselors. He was doing great for a long time and then this, for me, came out of no where. I just feel lost and really don’t know what to do.",3.4356153692215337,4.463273498098856,4.88370622373424,84.70313388032821,72.57414448669202,8.274484690814491,26.00940564338603,8.6894789155246,1.7183733840304187,1002,32,211,18,19,336,144,263,0.147,0.757,0.096,-0.9437,1,5,0,0,1,0,25.0,4,0,5,3,15,9,2,0,9,0,23,2,0,5,0,52,55,21,0,6,11,3,2,1,1,1,2,1,0,0,12,18,0,1,8,0,0,4,11,4,0,1,5,4,29,5,34,48,4,25,0,2,1,0,29,13,0,6,8,144,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598784354201819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08105610964894791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09808662982219428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07265964779543932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501738144093752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13632635443310592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13407737616446225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574532244534942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11236563703842342,0.0,0.12053628770407394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09208910496534926,0.0,0.3736441443242305,0.0,0.06774078253215278,0.0,0.0,0.1314119716656579,0.13130579479023308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07989332654312382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13753404630864513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10594523756214427,0.0,0.0,0.3930359273525623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218840944879478,0.0,0.05823224118175632,0.0,0.0,0.10548307232885548,0.10009306656580014,0.0,0.130114495444407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956302098446398,0.12084416029666427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838095225656956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11678496012857435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08076904111514209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13235099840026585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12126330208028785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15271764984042818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09478797254233116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339792191471946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11788606258357386,0.0,0.0843662331788587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06950306766253415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809250040473918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20589095193894533,0.0,0.0,0.21091139445163984,0.09461076859777984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420948912115313,0.0,0.08467210463386278,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,madhammachck,2020/04/03,"I think the hardest part about getting sober is realizing that my family and friends may never truly forgive me for the things I did while high or drunk. Maybe I’m just having a hard time forgiving myself.  It’s so painful feeling everything again.  Today I felt like the wind was knocked out of me when I thought about all the drama I put my family through while I was drunk.  I drank and used drugs for close to 15 years and I’ve been sober for over 3 years now.  I finally found a therapist who specializes in trauma and I discovered that I was using drugs and alcohol because of the sexual assault I experienced as a teenager.  I’m finally healing from that experience all these years later.  

The urge to drink and use drugs is almost completely non existent.  It’s amazing what getting help can do.  I love this community and I hope everyone is staying strong through these hard times.",4.936895604395602,6.759074392857144,5.534523809523812,78.4002197802198,69.95238095238096,9.454945054945057,31.970695970695967,9.851270322608157,3.3185360805860813,710,32,129,18,13,229,110,168,0.125,0.722,0.153,0.7916,0,0,5,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,7,12,1,0,9,0,12,11,0,3,3,28,27,13,0,1,2,0,4,1,1,1,6,0,0,0,11,9,5,0,8,4,0,1,1,3,0,0,9,5,18,9,16,17,3,22,0,0,0,1,6,5,0,4,16,85,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13775507729100392,0.12907489748378942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07857634528786217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13514937248674036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12627309068156264,0.4484498112642378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316963329569708,0.11584715841074045,0.12608909715674044,0.2430312109213375,0.0,0.06517579736291333,0.0,0.12376437439660758,0.28240766433078984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14133237970268742,0.09958794913759073,0.0,0.13469003401477805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23093846180270056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08639906472327354,0.13619010335988052,0.0,0.12802695022474764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06297411051132233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11633743315724206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294975429347676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09941575509794816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13715886563830984,0.0,0.0,0.1395863194409135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12958027012316548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373904271215348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14966302866223988,0.08563554322043597,0.08259402214025027,0.0,0.10233233416996056,0.15032544772560058,0.0,0.12218228624831988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3339850733260093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490224438301835
addiction,zickkityy,2020/04/03,"Does anyone else get anxious over minuscule things? Ever since I got sober, I’ve been finding myself getting anxious over the most minuscule things. For example, I never noticed how dark it gets at night while I was doing a lot of drugs, but for some reason I do now, and it gives me anxiety. 

Has anyone else experienced this?",6.193196721311478,7.2243154918032815,6.606680327868855,74.85788934426232,66.21311475409836,9.378688524590164,31.643442622950825,9.516144504307137,3.028406557377049,259,10,44,5,4,84,49,61,0.094,0.9059999999999999,0.0,-0.5283,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,5,1,0,2,2,10,10,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,6,0,6,7,3,8,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,3,5,34,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14104155650837508,0.4165683217525031,0.0,0.257829773975816,0.3778150567986919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16134229826934135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138091673732268,0.0,0.3080327946847725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16677205113529578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16850965842697474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28897512020896504,0.17686326398007554,0.0,0.0,0.14745649769584454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15674368192935156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14219651310377088,0.0,0.0,0.17301754239984804,0.0,0.0,0.209904995342699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18956173775420584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525116999605712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449727536987663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,redninjaboxer,2020/04/03,Kratom vs suboxone So I’m a 35 year old male. 6’ 220lbs and in good shape. I have been abusing opiates/opioids for about 15 years. I have just got of 12mg a day of suboxone 28 days ago and I did not wean down. I started taking Kratom because I heard it helped the withdrawals. It did not seem to help at all for the first 5–6 days and then all of a sudden it started helping. About a week ago I started noticing I was getting aggravated more easily and now I’m feeling depressed and have no motivation and feel lethargic a lot and I don’t know if maybe the Kratom is now causing this somehow or if it could be the paws from suboxone still coming through. Not knowing is the worst. As my tolerance has increased I’ve been taking 25g a day of Kratom split into 5 even doses. I plan on getting off that starting next weekend as well. If anyone has any insight to what I may be experiencing I’d greatly appreciate it. Besides this I have no experience with Kratom.,1.89582474226804,4.213737293814436,3.4600103092783527,87.53279896907219,80.70103092783505,5.9418556701030925,27.22577319587629,7.1686216300943375,1.4384379381443302,761,34,153,10,20,251,124,194,0.114,0.777,0.109,-0.4717,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,3,10,5,0,0,11,0,18,1,0,2,2,33,36,15,0,4,9,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,9,10,0,0,7,1,0,2,6,2,1,1,7,4,12,3,21,25,6,31,0,1,0,0,5,7,0,8,22,102,21,1,0.0,0.17127124936081795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256274399649767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983007569328936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107457185171577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08811795196812593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14849538740587015,0.0,0.12451930588952953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11541352633392482,0.0,0.0,0.3728979952865664,0.0,0.12450298311114935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09547566008495308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14140022631821625,0.0,0.0,0.14618032336499268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12295640775775507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15104558381303113,0.0,0.0,0.12124390211312895,0.115611957001979,0.1593698037165273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29067177688725343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15888470890888254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289349129210153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14522256318376853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15373338007893167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16457414678406942,0.15168368673330615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131595300879889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4092604304340165,0.0,0.11543993068084404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21737120160392026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115951414202791,0.0,0.1299701897959879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18617433074398004
addiction,hellohiheykay,2020/04/03,"Lmao I’m laughing at myself So I relapsed yesterday after only a 2 weeks clean. I did my shot of meth and heroin in the morning after being up all night just for me to wig tf out I thought my stepdad and family friend were in the attic fucking with me and that my mom was In on it too, that this was all one big April fools day prank to scare the shit out of me bad enough into not using ever again (lol like nearly dying twice wasn’t enough to scare me). And what did my dumbass do? 
Flush my clear down the toilet and throw all the rigs away.. but that didn’t work the voices wouldn’t stop. Cause i was still holding onto the heroin, till finally I couldn’t take the voices anymore I handed over my half gram of heroin to my stepdad. And just like that peace of mind. I was waiting for them to come out of the attic and nothing.. no one was in the fucking attic. Those voices were my conscious. lmao I hate myself,
And just like that I’m bumming so hard this morning.",1.660507894736842,3.643640435000002,2.9702631578947383,92.51578947368422,79.65,5.0105263157894715,19.526315789473685,5.750287758089431,-0.16034999999999974,757,18,159,4,19,245,112,200,0.152,0.71,0.13699999999999998,-0.5186,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,1,9,13,4,2,11,1,15,4,2,2,5,34,25,12,1,2,5,1,2,3,1,1,0,3,1,0,10,14,0,3,2,0,0,2,6,8,0,4,12,5,23,5,32,10,5,32,0,0,0,2,3,17,3,0,16,120,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16283149817591594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15426109255393988,0.0,0.13709106549279604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16866746464405813,0.0,0.1414343973272441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10588840592053092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17040239497771364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3393025239371696,0.0,0.0,0.148518468228043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15478289944940796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17986116658079415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12685211466708046,0.30358041023519605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470812105848336,0.16210277384499405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406435464376181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16578421639434746,0.1922963248382291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15408037617142145,0.0,0.15754389858665938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225176076788528,0.12487323212654675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3287639246160026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685377826403496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13112165143153856,0.1372694647100736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12344979228532026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303478292372823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14180669175849228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13170261647268294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11953164223412804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,It-Is-What-ItIs,2020/04/04,"I need you to help - lockdown is going to ene me. I've been using coke, booze and weed around  3/4 time a week for around few years. 8 months back, life crumbled around me generally (lost my job, fell into depression, a load of health problems incl. Permanent deafness my right ear, trouble with loved one's etc.) coke was ultimately the cause of all of it. - I needed to change. I got much better, not clean, but it was a start.

COVID hits, I've been ""working from home"" for the last 3 weeks and on lockdown. As a result I'm left with little distraction from the wolves at the door. I've been drinking, sniffing and smoking pretty much every night. I tend to get a lot done during the day. House work, excerise, good cooking etc. But when that's done, BOOM! *sends the text* 

As of Monday I'll be on paid leave, so will have even less to do. If i don't remedy this problem i will not only end up back where I was, but be far worse.

Please, can you help? Any guidance at would really mean a great deal. 

Cheers,
Male, London, 30.",1.1290473145780062,3.489272446078431,2.214228473998297,94.9853324808184,84.34313725490195,4.920375106564365,18.18329070758739,6.280692351149826,-0.2290184995737423,785,19,169,7,23,248,142,204,0.094,0.76,0.146,0.9341,1,2,1,0,0,0,45.0,0,2,0,4,9,11,0,1,12,0,18,10,1,3,1,27,32,11,0,6,6,0,0,0,0,3,3,3,3,1,4,9,5,0,1,2,1,3,3,6,0,1,11,3,13,5,26,15,8,31,0,2,0,1,8,14,0,2,14,97,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296976339310676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3258395096775372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876335574030141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079063426305017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12533603547370056,0.12906850341810655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07868519888359399,0.12578510222538344,0.10508548838052116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24971350857993024,0.0,0.11952159211234002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10806305587605727,0.0,0.2721428004783429,0.08058526886478637,0.0,0.10279717507339488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06374425152746363,0.0,0.06934007470995822,0.10233469390322822,0.09758110738065368,0.13451447698813668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12968901679402922,0.0,0.0,0.1635590562803982,0.0,0.12238417778237072,0.0,0.0,0.14078108769525666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12107431751160083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945297147717376,0.0,0.12918907273990232,0.13256227196891374,0.0,0.08617800356220884,0.0,0.1222842743417372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331863686499546,0.10372701302818282,0.11011716873456376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329027034217846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09738578538497833,0.0,0.17938013856981766,0.1809350764290036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11449643554183067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267591745810407,0.09279273797443584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13392837096142446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12412620745608292,0.0,0.23349074966592245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07816158046623027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041943406212405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863580356315366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07114396563110155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10537591577698882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19573524562113456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17764685303004152,0.0,0.12433678457757093,0.08667112840591602,0.0,0.0,0.07856928396921209
addiction,ghostdragonfruit,2020/04/04,"How do I get over my acetaminophen and codeine addiction? I don’t need to hear any judgement from anyone. I just need advice. Please and thank you. 
I’ve been addicted to acetaminophen with codeine (T3s) since I was 18. I’m 27 now and I’ve tried many times to quit but haven’t had any luck. 
I do not want to go to rehab but I cannot do this alone.
If you have had the same addiction as I and recovered, how did you do it?",0.1306666666666665,2.209847400000001,1.5555555555555571,99.94000000000004,86.11111111111109,5.377777777777778,19.0,6.742157984588678,-0.1198666666666668,326,9,80,4,10,104,56,90,0.05,0.857,0.092,0.5502,0,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,3,0,1,4,2,0,0,1,0,13,4,0,2,0,17,21,10,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,5,1,11,2,9,16,1,4,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,2,2,49,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6518447953782308,0.0,0.194767261068189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064291167159721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710806079919457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13936493087633733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10413329961051802,0.0,0.1132746969611346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22464127955145827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20207303673573912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2955775002819787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21878683717332426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21199489363360655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16487453869335794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18350148378138306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162215527050628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13532107199523347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11756051721044185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,screw713,2020/04/04,Relapse advice I was 2 months sober of meth before I decided to get high last night . I’m not craving it but I feel horrible towards myself because I was just beginning to be happy . Now I feel like I’m square one again,-0.10838095238095136,2.201490733333337,2.38825396825397,89.39000000000001,97.22222222222223,5.238095238095238,21.984126984126984,6.868970318607317,1.036746031746032,173,7,34,3,7,59,35,45,0.10099999999999999,0.723,0.17600000000000002,0.5499,0,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,9,1,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,3,6,2,4,6,0,8,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,7,20,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3259808914262196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033537446745554,0.0,0.2838610461122197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3373468798362595,0.23831720440915485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17428732964677154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35511341633390103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35245680369056964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719208777080897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629755258164806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662688489328132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31305219728028066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22604963639210224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,zabadabeebop,2020/04/04,"CORONAVIRUS IN MY WORLD OF AN ADDICTIVE PERSONALITY. Hi guys, this post is just vent a little, whine a little and to explain the good experience and bad experiences.

So it's been 12 days of lock down in england but  about 21 day isolation for me as my work had grinded to a halt. I'm a self employed roofer/labourer/builder and all of my jobs that were lined up have been put on hold until we shake this thing.

During the time at home with my partner, it's been hard because of the lack of money, the repeat in daily activities and the lack of drugs I've had. 

I wasn't as much addicted to any recreational drugs and haven't been for a while but I still dabbled and after being forced to go without anything recreational for the last 17 days, I think I'm in a good place in which I know I don't  need them to get through a shitty day. The thing is, because everything was slowing down before the lockdown I was finding myself trying harder to fight the need for drugs out of boredom but failed often which left me in a particularly bad place with cash flow. 

The main problem I'm having is stupidly, I got myself addicted to codeine again which arent cheap otc medication and I've just ran out of those too so the next week is going to be a little tougher than usual. 

Other issues that are becoming a factor during this isolation...
I'm really starting to hate my house, I want to decorate so bad because it's so plain  and awful but I just dont have the funds.
I'm starting to get annoyed at my girlfriend for tiny things.
I hate our cats and I'm getting increasingly annoyed with them  I've even suggested getting rid of them to save money on cat food and to save my stress levels but she has had two of them for 6 years so she would only get rid of 2 and the other two are feral so they are pointless human haters who only pop their heads out every once in a while. 
I hate her rat she has, bo matter how much she she cleans the cage, I can still smell it.
I'm used to being out of the house constantly and driving everywhere but I csnt afford the fuel to drive around even for half an hour just to calm myself down.


Because of my mistakes earlier on I have now got £7 to my name and I'm screwed, thankfully I have plenty of food in and bills are paid for. I've just ran out of tobacco I have signed up to an agency who want to get me a job starting tomorrow but I'm still going to be struggling until I get some wages from them but it's a step forward at least.

Adding to this, my mother died 10 years ago and it's her birthday on April 14th, and this day is a day for myself to allow myself to either get very wild and drunk and reminiscent or go on an adventure or just do something on my own where I'm immune from judgement or punishment.

Sorry for absolutely rantng on but Ita almost like this is one of the only places to vent with honesty without being vilified

Hope everyone is doing alright!",4.434861832986833,5.064253140202709,5.458716216216217,82.96261781011782,69.96283783783784,8.233957033957035,27.679487179487186,8.303829127061777,1.7451386347886342,2297,74,468,32,39,759,277,592,0.183,0.7490000000000001,0.069,-0.9977,6,3,5,0,1,0,35.0,2,0,7,2,25,30,10,3,35,2,43,13,1,3,1,78,86,43,1,10,21,1,1,1,2,1,8,0,2,5,25,29,3,2,4,1,8,14,7,20,0,4,16,2,52,10,95,64,11,87,0,2,0,1,30,40,1,7,35,319,77,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23011187722103946,0.0,0.0,0.062370848975847236,0.0,0.07045645448172258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04784794480644138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05790117081005401,0.06263627550252047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17624567968865718,0.17156583667431302,0.07770828100898741,0.05987209376624576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07603532746981867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722624411084337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302368882918521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08246265764004343,0.0,0.24478953174178605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294565487877204,0.0,0.05928224160246956,0.06723302385670017,0.06323599865286224,0.13765326810476214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06430874922574019,0.0,0.1701617859967969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2940860674135558,0.0,0.1599512849941307,0.11803106542479415,0.11254836097288083,0.0,0.0,0.06966852789106623,0.0,0.0,0.06302970422317979,0.20840098844537006,0.07221076366356216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07057789662443578,0.06988442498725643,0.069291487196314,0.16237447085194573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343868348798617,0.13964502307485038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03866860754515623,0.05735366831806285,0.0,0.0,0.07644751549468717,0.0,0.0,0.034374867904312566,0.21156084952335627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088138221650764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344697415846224,0.10434369337063194,0.0,0.0,0.07482980309038673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493225013901215,0.0476784863976836,0.16053830781714365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061436578049541224,0.22053704806294755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06738646169229404,0.0,0.0,0.06732604774282065,0.0,0.07073231574566027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04507510730641817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07340194797365286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05416739422350623,0.0,0.07876346459938996,0.1494057962867624,0.0,0.16857133975419486,0.0,0.08059837540939442,0.07355667418893039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06477902593558142,0.0,0.0,0.1402343183038978,0.04508453676763738,0.0,0.0,0.041028109537927474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047770552323453466,0.0,0.1374650957590968,0.0,0.0,0.06076937905844956,0.07749278523049326,0.058055256923358625,0.08300157182868725,0.0,0.056439411456326964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356511338168354,0.0,0.05122370169085974,0.0,0.0,0.04998248999011614,0.0,0.0,0.09062045277937514
addiction,HelenaDelRey,2020/04/04,"Can't stop smoking or vaping during these horrible times. I've always had some problems with the respiratory system as long as I can remember myself and I've been smoking since 17 (22 now). And with all of that shit happening in the world I'm just like: ""Everything's gonna be fine, I don't live in the hot spot"". I started feeling this weird sensation in my throat over a week ago. It's like my throat is itching. I heard that's what happens when you're developing a cough. I think I'm going through the incubation period. I hope everything is going to be ok though...
Healthy young people are dying and I'm here not giving a shit about anything. 
Well, I've just joined this sub because I wanted to tell some people about this that could understand. I hope I'm in the right place. If not, let me know. I hope you're all safe and ok.",2.161723372781065,4.2563890591716005,3.6808542899408287,87.48566013313612,78.5266272189349,7.0652366863905325,22.98853550295858,8.07648339933343,1.2258428994082848,657,21,137,12,16,217,107,169,0.10099999999999999,0.718,0.18100000000000002,0.865,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,9,14,2,0,8,2,12,6,5,0,2,29,32,10,1,7,6,0,2,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,9,6,0,2,5,0,0,2,4,4,1,0,3,3,13,10,15,24,4,21,0,0,0,0,3,8,2,7,12,76,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13484180820340347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12657284077323694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12517864831606212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09272860648430796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145238543737387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157872570360924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27342441354941016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07691450708003546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459236930391655,0.17290225199129994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690316568370326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4532570448505152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359906988144067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555490919291041,0.0,0.14863255578789986,0.0,0.1343213666639105,0.1346180252934309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21091640073304335,0.0,0.15892902333355804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14555463274752206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17231796945993186,0.12990637963340548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3122901289250378,0.1258320693009196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10766860939142614,0.0,0.0,0.12717593099957167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13295623901124473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974699007562847,0.1494533665321158,0.0,0.08870016310670709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15835829958778047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08972205936653943,0.0,0.12201841757283267,0.0,0.13677070693429666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,MyHeartIsWarm,2020/04/04,"Tips For Fetish Recovery? Hello everyone, I decided to also post my story in this subreddit because I think people here could help me. If you have time in your heart, would you guys and girls be willing to help me find creative solutions to fight off a sex adicition? Or at least, what is left of the addiction. I still battle hard every day.
This is the story:

I am autistic so it is a little bit hard to express my feelings,
Humor is very important and as a comedian I understand that we people use it all the time however this post is hard to do so I appreciate constructive comments please :)

I had a conversation with a professional sex counselor this week about eradicating my fetishes.

So I repress my sexuality a lot, and I think you will understand and even agree with me after reading a few examples from my list.

I can not accept my fetishism because I dont want to, here is why:

​

(Long Story Short)

When I was little I always liked to place things between my legs and somehow a vacuum cleaner hose (not the nozzle)

ended up there. I liked the feeling as a child and because of my ASD spectrum condition I got obsessed with

the feeling and hoses thus collected them in puberty.

The fetish finally developed in getting horny from vacuum cleaner sound, smell and just the hose in general the most.

When I was about 11 I was also on the internet a lot searching for vacuum videos and I stumbled upon ladies vacuuming

in high heels and I got a huge fetish for feet n certain high heels also.

Fetishes in itself and sex are things that I do not necessarily view as bad or negative at all, but I view them rationally.

I have not really found a use that is beneficial to me for years and that is somewhat tiring.

Here are some of the experiences I had in the past to give you all a context of what I am talking about:

​

\-Vacuum cleaner hoses are almost everywhere so the horny stimuli is too high for me if I dont fight it.

\-My thoughts were running wild thinking about sexy woman and how the inside of their vacuum hose would smell and al similar kind of stuff would make me ejaculate a little.

\-Even somtimes the dust was a turn on.

\-The fetish is also very precise, when some things arent right in setting I cant even get an erection (for example from a ridgeless vacuum hose, they are not sexy to me, or when the are animal hairs in or on the hose)

\-I had sex with a lot of vacuum hoses by cutting the nozzle off and exposing the inside and sticking my thing in (without the power on even), and yes they were not always clean and washed so imagine the hygiene

\-Almost thinking about sex intensely the whole day long and I was fapping so much that I felt the effect everytime, thus saw no gain in being so tired after ejaculating and its just not fun. 

I also did sex without ejaculating when I was in to spirituality (learned my lessons dont like the lifestyle)

\-Searching like a beast all the time for vacuuming women who make sexual videos on the internet and obsessing on that .

\-Once I had to borrow the vacuum cleaner of the neighbour lady here to clean the couch and I ejaculated premature because I got so horny from her vacuum cleaner ( I found her attractive also)

\-Emotionally draining because I feel like I am letting myself down.

After a big porn addiction that I managed to overcome in my teens, I just sat down with myself and really really thought about this fetish. 

I questioned if I genuinly enjoyed all this, but could feel it in my whole body just being a big no when I think rationally.

I dont want to be in to female feet and high heels arent so appealing to me when I am non-horny, I rather write poetry instead.

\-And more

​

I really noticed that I am more stubborn in what I want than other people, I really dislike how my sexuality is formed now,

But it now is the only form of sexuality I know and I just crave to finally be able to let this all rest and experiment with

a nice female who understands how hard I have been fighting through this combined with autism my whole life.

I am now sexually inactive but my libido is very high especially bc I am on a carnivore diet..

​

Posting this on my undercover account just in case.",6.237708592777082,6.872143880448324,7.0729018679950215,72.95801033623914,65.986301369863,10.359242839352428,33.74368617683686,10.309910720246007,3.5600701070983805,3348,142,601,79,50,1116,333,803,0.092,0.82,0.08800000000000001,-0.48100000000000004,4,0,0,0,4,0,98.0,1,5,5,4,54,23,6,3,54,1,66,23,9,11,8,129,101,66,0,12,27,0,11,5,1,5,6,1,14,5,35,35,1,2,27,3,2,1,19,10,0,0,24,17,94,13,98,63,25,81,0,0,3,7,34,49,0,18,32,467,129,4,0.05218463185808747,0.0,0.0,0.11377790293256107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451074150284093,0.0,0.0,0.2503921874587461,0.08684358825925295,0.2261681072629155,0.2536401584006823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04357198784797412,0.15905633610224432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05697210228787706,0.057965361811197776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08333036447308337,0.0,0.0,0.06730954084317294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24463999954728186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05870068698092513,0.046220094606916805,0.0,0.0,0.13786982870912864,0.0,0.04396780304515533,0.049864652063670925,0.0,0.10209316680595996,0.0,0.0,0.13193058920098008,0.037280711426400166,0.050105430226853966,0.11433142687176258,0.04769580811397391,0.0,0.0,0.11443551061463357,0.0,0.0,0.054528632609199636,0.05006025399345558,0.0,0.0,0.12521045176127066,0.0,0.0,0.05167098999563986,0.0,0.0,0.18698872015417972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061839040011039764,0.06995651745929372,0.2756796434658651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054342263692691135,0.028679308923180307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056698755203984125,0.10672464338374936,0.03685954876427868,0.1274738758914512,0.1569081315494854,0.0,0.09236351407962033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13309652359695298,0.0,0.0,0.0696672939711615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03836170885639272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0594125492478437,0.0,0.0555749298067223,0.0,0.03968876405764797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0498161359227193,0.1085347592174192,0.0,0.054521833358989684,0.0572830550293442,0.0,0.0,0.14993535646634168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05845873069510906,0.0,0.0521987537605904,0.0,0.1671540571607937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04456539047482246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041674714411505685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597389184137247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04194403036880868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138676602429072,0.1671890248579068,0.0,0.0828575372307559,0.09128783548243087,0.11995711530281734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056761894267332476,0.0,0.16297812646247206,0.0,0.0901415337002706,0.0,0.1291733594990673,0.09233954378126977,0.0,0.04185936394808816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04708851345167099,0.17478683354673766,0.0,0.1006082457965316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121139566525733,0.0,0.2536401584006823,0.03360519197624592
addiction,Help_me_outredditplz,2020/04/04,Help me out reddit? Hey my name is J. I need some advice and help. If you don’t mind.,-3.858000000000001,-2.9027367999999982,-0.6600000000000001,108.70000000000003,117.0,2.0,5.0,3.1291,-2.9819999999999998,64,0,18,0,4,22,19,20,0.0,0.748,0.252,0.6597,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,3,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,0,10,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4700781752013661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6448776581694287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4857251067335976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3566937564380716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,rayneraynedrops,2020/04/04,I'm addicted to powdered milk. I like eating it with no water. This sucks. I always eat it thrice or more a week. I don't know how to stop. It's just so good the way your saliva breaks down the tiny bits of milk and sugar. So good it hurts.,-1.2925876010781678,0.7045096603773615,0.9439892183288447,101.7801886792453,93.90566037735849,3.7832884097035038,11.345013477088948,5.288315135182226,-1.5926420485175203,184,2,46,1,7,61,42,53,0.17300000000000001,0.6579999999999999,0.168,0.1825,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,4,5,1,0,3,0,1,7,0,1,0,7,4,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,2,6,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,4,3,5,4,2,5,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,3,26,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941618200895386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22452574117656315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945917769861299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5522205947153965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.452652424356786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2888657561635697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14829518727820634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13182857612808413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22559555425207695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21418380363722755,0.21644671538828575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,mayonnaise123,2020/04/04,"My best friend has been missing for almost a week My best friend, a prior heavy opioid user who I believe relapsed, has been missing for 5 days. Life is too much.

When I was a senior in high school I got into weed and over the years it escalated until 21/22. I met a friend and eventually roommate trying to sell him mushrooms lol but I helped him get off heroin and live with me because he was basically living in a trap house before. Given his history or serious drug use I’m horrified that he is dead in a ditch with a needle in his arm because no one can reach him and we’ve searched all around his neighborhood and called his friends, coroners office, hospitals, and jails and nothing. I’ve lost 4 people to drugs and suicide since 2018, one on my couch. I found him dead in the morning from mixing fentanyl, oxy, Xanax, and rum. I’ve also witnessed a death involving severe trauma where he fell off a ramp and split his skull on the concrete and I was the only one with him while he died. It was also partially my fault, he was homeless and asked me to buy him cigarettes so I did and I gave him some free benzodiazepines when he was clearly drunk and he fell backwards over a guardrail on a ramp directly on his skull. I’ve lost others to suicide or overdose but I wasn’t there for those. 

Also, my brother is in serious danger with covid 19. He has mitochondrial disease and for someone with his diseases he is fairly healthy and normal and a 19 year old college freshman. Unfortunately mitochondrial disease affects muscle strength so while he can breathe just fine, he needs more time for altitude adjustments and he also gets dehydrated very easily which is why he has a feeding tube but that’s only a partial fix. His specialist said that if he gets sick there’s a 70% chance of him being admitted to the ICU on a ventilator and that’s horrifying because we don’t have enough and if they have to ration them to the people most likely to live, he will die.

I’ve overdosed, had my dad get violent with me and drive drunk with me, I handled my parents divorce alright and I’ve made it through watching my brother starve to death when I was 6-8  before we could figure out what was wrong and what to do. So my entire life I’ve been in crisis mode and I can’t take it anymore, I can’t take all of the death.?",5.70779135338346,6.0952533442982455,6.210112781954888,79.54578947368421,67.09210526315789,8.794987468671678,31.85588972431077,8.634040054169528,2.4321600250626565,1839,71,354,26,28,597,236,456,0.225,0.6779999999999999,0.09699999999999999,-0.9977,1,0,4,0,1,3,36.0,2,0,2,5,16,22,2,0,23,2,34,13,4,3,3,60,56,44,9,5,8,4,0,1,4,1,6,1,1,0,14,36,3,0,4,3,3,3,5,11,0,3,23,2,47,12,46,30,9,39,0,4,1,0,53,22,0,7,15,225,61,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981483473379785,0.0,0.0,0.31353178352165456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720502101628173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08725455984410176,0.09163124494651136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792479850118943,0.0,0.16680791271851228,0.11042988416669833,0.20572240345318976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10008476634020028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825738712113348,0.0,0.0,0.0632118775432859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20344919220897195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273336835054295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10127619453134863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10746891737725038,0.3029060743235767,0.0,0.20483617650142752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07839193517715327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569771178939991,0.10355873860166727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11309670690377605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13846246779291066,0.04788541375786687,0.0,0.2596484001150628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139909549695815,0.0,0.0,0.09274461938239313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07205265738571554,0.07267723826583564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603436211561762,0.09404849887555876,0.0,0.10285076082247634,0.0,0.19925348264818865,0.14909038225661125,0.0,0.0,0.10883459387870938,0.0,0.0,0.13590318842171267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323516910242476,0.0,0.0,0.09919690100737052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11072959613836678,0.0,0.08107941992306976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304820018343036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21442605842505585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14739088920727073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057153616019576386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06654607865892086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465390668912015,0.0,0.08087303800942089,0.0,0.0,0.07862210779572609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844372755231186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10716454329964792,0.0,0.12623751423118074
addiction,GreatKhanShawn,2020/04/04,Am i on thin ice? Use to be addicted to come pills but haven't done any in a long time. Started smoking weed here recently and at first it was on the weekend. Just noticed today that I've smoked everyday for the last two weeks. Is it possible to indulge in the lesser things if you have an addictive nature?,3.230161290322581,4.858347500000002,4.4718064516129035,85.08770967741938,74.0,8.185806451612903,28.529032258064518,8.841846274778883,2.2663445161290325,243,10,49,5,5,80,53,62,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,0,7,3,0,1,0,6,10,3,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,1,2,0,9,7,0,17,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,1,10,34,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5250594040517031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637660799296969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20744538737393425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24644280478340794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20484164648366954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963007077531313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131184105560088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741755375800465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27148873392601963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23778101938954804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17045386641395213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15999032402293836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14042426886113746,0.0,0.2282695109017209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23524646618256695,0.0,0.0,0.2079914409787638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19317153965822165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,0squatNcough0,2020/04/04,"Today officially marks 10 years clean from a 15 year heroin addiction. Not expecting people to care much, but I am proud of myself at least.",5.359230769230769,7.251840307692312,6.272307692307695,73.24769230769233,69.0,9.815384615384616,24.538461538461537,10.125756701596842,2.6382153846153846,112,3,19,3,2,37,26,26,0.07,0.662,0.268,0.7184,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,4,2,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,12,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4524166906407414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4231252407970621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050764150297238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2877122025691228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3933762004809949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5344992076801236
addiction,Throwaway999lol999,2020/04/04,"Question about my addiction Hey reddit. So this is a throwaway account because I don’t want anyone to know about this. Anyway, I’m a very attractive guy and over the years I developed an omegle addiction where I get a girl’s Snapchat, impress her enough so that she’s into me, masturbate with her, and then ghost her even though she kinda catches feelings. I also waste a lot of time on this, at times a whole day until I fulfill my unhealthy urges. The point is I feel like a piece of shit and I want to stop this cycle so I don’t hurt more people including myself. Any thoughts on this? And yes I tried abstaining on multiple occasions at times for weeks only to reset. Thanks in advance.",4.43911111111111,5.875385244444447,4.971296296296295,83.46583333333336,70.62962962962962,8.066666666666668,29.055555555555557,8.548686976883017,2.170644444444444,548,21,104,9,10,175,93,135,0.13,0.728,0.142,-0.0735,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,10,6,1,0,9,1,4,3,1,0,0,17,13,11,1,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,6,6,0,2,5,0,1,2,2,2,0,0,1,2,18,4,18,12,5,21,0,1,0,0,9,10,1,3,10,73,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4039428126927759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14816017561619338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259898031346519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295449374638101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11293873788450895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194836806992578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19143320781024453,0.0,0.1223689419448308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873559343544828,0.1323567673917649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09679581298622957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834462096373007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198335130643094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018194255116573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09051345585612224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15750974109987614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409060157774996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12844273736586506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751398259778724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20754455386146856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19017676611236944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15489383137456747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17057152105265966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18202661755285235,0.147083509974807,0.3240968947306514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12578601875613382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15286697099100724,0.2185538320792242,0.0,0.1486122416998981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20684709228757092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11930766359801395
addiction,ash13trans,2020/04/04,Am I allowed on here I'm addicted to pain but I've noticed most ppl here are addicted to things like alcohol am I allowed on here or is there some other subreddit specifically for ppl who are addicted to pain,1.7221428571428559,4.336301214285714,4.262190476190476,79.46614285714288,84.47619047619048,9.074285714285717,29.82857142857143,9.3871,3.581622857142857,169,9,32,6,5,59,27,42,0.147,0.78,0.07200000000000001,-0.5187,2,0,1,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,2,0,6,6,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,6,6,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,3,1,24,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7636067326674796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495268730690311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140700814025099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26582679320126723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4968938137085693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551185607353197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,blahblahaddictchick,2020/04/04,"Meth sucks you in quick but it feels so slow I was drugged and raped while blacked out on a lot of tequila and a lot of xanax. How do I know if I was blacked out? Because the only moments that were clear that night was his hands holding the pipe and lighter as I inhaled and what that meth felt like when I breathed it in. Then saying no one too many times as he had a grasp on my hair and decided he couldn't hear me.

I told him to leave me alone. Never talk to me again. I never willingly used. I know I didnt. Even if I don't remember saying yes to it, which I obviously had to if I inhaled and it was at my fking mouth, I would never in a million years use meth had I been sober. It fked my family up and I lived the life of a kid of someone with a strong addiction to it. I watched my parents come close to murdering each other as a little girl because they were high on meth. I was left at crack houses for days just 5 years old. So my mom could go get high and hope the rapist there would take away her responsibility to be a mom anymore and let her fly high without guilt. I was there, 7years old 3rd grade when the cops showed up night after night to tell my parents they're full of shit when they swear on being sober but eyes glossed to hell and back. I didn't know what it meant. My memories of my mom are such like that and of her hiding in her room, just to come out and yell or tell me I'm worthless, or fall asleep while eating a bowl of cereal. I didn't know what the fuck it meant. And it fucked me up up until finally the system put me in foster care. Then my real dad found me and took me in. Sober parent finally. All I knew at that point was things were different and I was finally safe. Right?

My rapist, the predator in his late 40s, addicted to meth for years, the man introduced to me by someone who I called my soulmate, someone who left me with him to let me be raped because he was scared of that man too. He never left me alone. Months flew by and he still kept trying to talk to me outside these apartments. I ignored him so many times. I was strong. I had no interest anyway, he fucking terrified me, having even came into a room with a closed door where I was sleeping alone and assaulting me. I was homeless and needed shelter. He was ""helping me"". That's what he calls it.

Life got the best of me. I was insecure. Stressed. Wanting to give up. And quite frankly, to be blunt, I was just fucking bored. I had too much time on my hands due to this virus making everyone stay home. Being triggered to remember my assaults everyday my predator tried to get my attention outside. That feeling of inhaling kept repeating in my head. Why not have fun for a night? make a bad impulse decision ? I already felt like scum of the earth, why not let someone validate that feeling and party while I'm at it? I even thought this through. I thought I was a levelheaded person. I've been doing the right things for a long time, I wasn't impulsive anymore, at least I thought.

Crazy thing about an impulse. I thought it was supposed to last only a little bit. Because impulse decisions are quick. No thought put into them. So when I thought thoroughly and weighed the pros and cons on consentually putting that pipe in my mouth and lighting it, I thought I was in the clear.

Sure, one night of it. Then I'm done. no harm no foul. But one night turned into two. Then the bag was empty when he handed it to me when I asked for it so I could smoke more. I had already thought so hard about my next hit. Fresh hit. Big. Amazing. It was defeating. Obviously I had to buy more, right? So two nights turned to three.

And on night three he did it again. I said I needed to get sleep. I can't let myself not sleep for three nights. I don't have a bed and it takes a toll . So I thought ok, I made it clear to not fucking touch me . I can sleep here on a comfy bed for once. It's fine. But when he thought I was asleep he did it again. And I froze. He just showed me he had a gun. There was others in the apartment with weapons. High. I don't know meth. Despite having firsthand experience now, I was still that little kid. I didn't know what was capable of happening if I stood up for myself. So I didn't. I froze. I submitted. I let it happen. And I hated it. Every fucking second. But he thought the xansx I took to help me come down was enough to keep me asleep and keep him in the clear. So fine. Maybe it was. Maybe then I can forget about it.

I didn't sleep. I let time pass by. And I smoked more.

Then night four was justified again. And by night five I said no more. Don't give me that shit. Why? Because I went from ""one fun night that's it"" to ""I told u I need to fucking smoke so can you just give me the fucking thing?"". From thinking through my actions to the only thinking was about that next hit.

5 nights. Less than a week. To make an addict. I felt terrified at the potential meth had to ruin my life and turn me into my parents. But when I took a hit it didn't matter. Why would it? I was fucking flying. Who gave a fuck about that? theres meth. A lot of it. And it felt fucking good.

But the comedown came when I realized I didn't want to keep going. I had to sleep anyway or risk becoming psychotic. I already have psychosis diagnosis under my belt. I was at risk. And felt myself on a tightrope with it going 4 nights not sleeping. Whether or not I wanted to stop, I had to fucking sleep.

The comedown was horrible. And my loved ones were scared for me. They were in the dark about my use. So I just looked like I was freaking out. I wanted to die. Nothing could've prepared me for the emotional shift from flying to buried in the ground. And the guilt of having done the shit , the amount I did, and it still gnawing in my head to just go take another hit to feel better drove me up the wall. I was forced a dose of my prescribed Xanax and some food, and off to sleep.

The next two days I was craddled by family to make it thru. Im lucky they were there, or I would've lost my entire life. No details needed. That's the damned truth and all you need to know. I almost lost everything over a 5 day meth binge. 

So I lasted two days ignoring the thoughts to take one more hit or spend one more night hitting it like it's an inhaler and I'm having hours long asthma attacks. Then I caved. Fuck it. I went to my predator.

 After spending the last few nights of that binge extremely uncomfortable and scared for my safety as a man three times the size of me, who's already assaulted and raped me multiple times, drinks alcohol and is higher than a kite on methamphetamine. I remembered my parents fighting on it. How close they came to murdering each other. So when I started to argue with him because I was becoming irritable after 4 nights no sleep, and he was getting angry, I submitted again. I was terrified. I remembered how strong he was when he forced me. I remembered the lack of respect for me. Why would he let me say mean things and not try to hurt me? He wouldn't. He did.

So why did I go to him again? Why did I hit it again? Not just one hit either. Hit after hit after hit after hit.....in 10 min I was literally weightless, I could not feel my feet hit the ground as I walked back home. I planned to go back. I admitted defeat. And it was fine, because I was high.

Time came to go back. What seems like a comedown came at the same time. Not as harsh this time. Just a slap in the face to say to me, don't be a fucking idiot. Just because I was one, doesn't mean I had to keep the ball rolling. This is one week of my life, I should consider myself lucky and step away while I still want to. While the thought of stepping away even crosses my mind. Because either I step away now, or I sign my life or a damned good chunk of it to methamphetamine and a predator. Do I really want to turn into a woman being sexually abused, addicted to meth? Lose my life? Family? Morals? Self?

No I don't. So even though i could. And the urge is strong. And I'm insecure. Stressed. Bored. Triggered. I'm not going to smoke meth tonight. I'm not going to be assaulted tonight. I'm not letting myself make more stupid fucking decisions and make a fool of myself. I am considering myself lucky and keeping this secret of the last week until I am in my grave and moving on........",0.9768332934704632,3.223147247787616,2.3172845411783456,94.76761779478596,83.89675516224189,5.458375189348642,21.256557442398147,6.790657577301206,0.3498397672008289,6415,205,1422,76,185,2059,514,1695,0.191,0.7120000000000001,0.096,-0.9996,8,3,21,1,3,0,227.0,0,3,6,13,84,100,40,11,82,2,135,70,28,15,14,259,298,124,4,28,46,9,19,6,0,7,17,8,7,9,83,81,5,12,53,5,3,36,46,68,0,22,125,37,218,32,199,132,28,245,2,9,5,21,91,89,22,22,124,954,301,1,0.0,0.028896285889530426,0.0,0.1063478967283472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0260638005725079,0.02442147652988241,0.07577713394239123,0.10765289759927807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02557338148442175,0.0,0.0,0.0483735122133284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02279987751764444,0.027745344940925367,0.0916548816204788,0.07501274846116128,0.020363309326643642,0.13380257266857154,0.05387018051925383,0.0,0.0,0.025594138790246444,0.021569572759631752,0.02662583460559657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04980660069107809,0.13946925837808571,0.024865616334641242,0.0,0.0,0.06302538473639853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09736083157302228,0.0,0.0,0.06291404494126666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02531132620830372,0.0254807047504592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04991563573627434,0.0,0.02389136370085274,0.02828282068296877,0.02495543896561069,0.0,0.027433686313548318,0.0,0.02519975399347439,0.0,0.08054159643263482,0.0,0.020548293021317145,0.023304177399039682,0.021918736449407467,0.023856551404769683,0.06897368654842137,0.0,0.06165758163064436,0.0,0.11708352373248755,0.08014895553776598,0.0,0.0,0.029490570406730244,0.02674064021050329,0.0,0.3382004751863381,0.0509677647416156,0.07018677508557693,0.12474449370993505,0.04091169382950409,0.019505644842581236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04313319287191405,0.0,0.02184723108329453,0.024078512444605904,0.05005910339902342,0.0,0.027487518234459583,0.0,0.03269408339616479,0.12883850685309636,0.04892714112911418,0.0242232008009053,0.024017677879666955,0.02814095854050928,0.026108304602113584,0.0,0.026343675221854882,0.0,0.0,0.10838772717811412,0.0,0.0,0.09382265244365512,0.0795192590961604,0.02751119643978396,0.02582381198623826,0.07949425865187304,0.1995104683845693,0.12058382027977348,0.07148969126404896,0.07333080211433186,0.021535418854603826,0.04316596282596647,0.020480127735786426,0.02728440008846447,0.05324567581765655,0.06220247948663862,0.02201149835314159,0.023076909667368018,0.09767674557571998,0.049452053452125146,0.049002885411643264,0.05313227121827463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024625348616104548,0.08569025700504257,0.019466601614031614,0.02592102741556019,0.017928292518278814,0.09041851017897803,0.07523940215036769,0.0,0.07781207385541958,0.38907690991908905,0.0,0.023401343682853668,0.0,0.05118308172540622,0.025972867944637774,0.16526222403703333,0.055645469891200214,0.0,0.0,0.13540225343252976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.021295024848324982,0.0,0.0,0.023054936912915863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07355128504237962,0.0,0.025940083300813148,0.0,0.02775935762709724,0.015623844305863931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13813661000709276,0.06248272408418443,0.04639793854406393,0.07757859168824595,0.07325117944409892,0.0,0.0,0.022202298693653238,0.025442437642831363,0.0,0.07510307813558607,0.0,0.0,0.2440602982712919,0.0,0.08265690565912663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01726224694049423,0.02599480733115029,0.0779064846544963,0.020389808489313325,0.05587369809866863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02298579421288664,0.0,0.07334821704330488,0.0392049712207885,0.04263310249968258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101290218511548,0.03125422545402424,0.0239614956833558,0.2517018234890894,0.14221081964972634,0.0,0.0,0.046608354798079364,0.08128928530703923,0.04967440233695177,0.10611037669108077,0.09529575776850087,0.0,0.0,0.06319128497147602,0.0,0.0,0.08630952067919369,0.0,0.05868875062107865,0.0,0.0,0.04521661342914289,0.15404726953143716,0.0,0.0,0.023509563496550714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08662415779915217,0.0,0.0,0.047116022448722567
addiction,thedrew_22,2020/04/04,"Addiction to pornography Hey y’all, I need some help. I’ve recently noticed how much of an affect pornography is having on my life. My schoolwork isn’t getting done, I’m getting to school late, causing other people to be late, and it’s just affecting my overall mood. I was 1 week clean of it and all of a sudden I just broke. I went back to it, and it started over again. I don’t know what to do! I’ve tried to overcome this addiction, but I don’t know how. Any tips or suggestions?",1.3737999999999992,3.4663047799999984,3.2960000000000003,89.24300000000002,81.2,6.8000000000000025,25.0,7.908726449838941,1.4810000000000003,378,15,80,7,10,127,64,100,0.022000000000000002,0.932,0.046,0.2714,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,0,2,0,9,3,0,5,1,17,17,7,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,7,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,3,0,10,0,11,13,3,11,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,2,8,53,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4490071819662443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400453843574072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583541557202746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21155578302162933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107468001482724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151889517496336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13803637593491194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22635705788968866,0.0,0.4646156686107562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14546060080757367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15138864704887292,0.1527009436087042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23446258564825995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14277197102288955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033396309394519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20842096849468847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457644785012608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139818865536792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16519161068007038,0.0,0.0,0.19090724686109195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,yeahcanigetuhhhhh,2020/04/04,"Concerns with corona and weed smoking I’m a 21 F just got forced to move home with my parents due to corona virus. I usually smoke flower out of a bong daily but since moving home I’ve had to switch to a pen to avoid the smell. Being home with my family kicks up my childhood ptsd and in general it’s just so tense, boring and anxiety provoking. I’m worried bc I have asthma and the pen has caused me realities problems in the past especially when paired with illness. I’m young but could I be setting myself to be killed by this virus with my habit that p much keeps me sane while home?",2.354295454545454,4.369448808333335,3.7095454545454563,87.89727272727276,77.58333333333334,6.696969696969697,22.57575757575757,7.686295010490155,0.9749166666666668,467,14,96,7,11,153,82,120,0.252,0.748,0.0,-0.9858,2,1,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,1,1,6,0,7,2,0,2,0,21,12,9,1,2,4,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,3,10,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,2,1,10,0,17,6,1,14,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,7,55,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13055820805884755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17531989994991592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13626206337592145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16088771182216305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13649633896843644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6847633794435817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15169483570853814,0.18881546433980256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3627796335961819,0.12545836410176486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18950321335975848,0.0,0.16291899149049585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16330329388490172,0.19949817599539116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14117579774212455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18796331441873876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17331852565184047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Math-Code-Love,2020/04/04,"Something inside me is broken. And it can never be fixed. 

That's it.",-1.2659523809523812,0.11850050000000326,1.4014285714285712,93.32690476190477,115.42857142857143,1.866666666666667,11.809523809523812,3.1291,-1.5040190476190476,53,1,10,0,3,18,13,14,0.205,0.795,0.0,-0.4767,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,9,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7077547144805729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7064582536360677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,fannypack24,2020/04/04,"Asking for a friend... Long story....    my boyfriend has always needed more. Drinking...he needs more. Coke...he needs more. Perks...he needs more.        He has slowed down his drinking due to it causing a lot of disruption in our relationship. Coke, neither of us have touched it in a couple years cause its just gross. And as much of an “upper” it is, it really was just bringing us down. A few months ago, he had surgery and was prescribed perks. Obviously he’s taken them recreationally prior but nothing to an extent. Well, he flew through that prescription. And ever since then, I just feel him always chasing that high in some way. He started using Kratom. It ended up really messing with his stomach (i think because he overused it) so he stopped that. But now, little does he know, I have a Reddit account. And i found him. And I noticed he asked about a certain opiate that is found in dope. And he is potentially going to be purchasing this product from a friend. And he was just asking questions on here about safe dosing. I am freaking out. I dont know how to approach this situation. Or do i just wait and keep an eye and see if anything even happens? I have voiced my concerns prior. I have told him i see him chasing that high. He laughs it off.  He lost a sibling to suicide due to being into drug use.    I cant lose him. And i dont know what to do without causing a huge fight. I hate accusing people if not guilty. Yea, he wrote the post but did he actually get the drugs? I dont know. And i dont know how or what to do.",1.0707237137469718,3.573731275747509,2.51891532728742,91.4927880039508,86.74086378737543,4.848738439436113,22.420849420849425,6.382479282647008,0.5130351261560571,1178,43,239,12,37,381,165,301,0.096,0.818,0.086,-0.4515,1,0,4,0,1,1,57.0,3,0,1,2,15,13,2,0,14,1,25,7,2,7,3,59,58,23,1,6,14,0,2,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,17,14,2,4,10,1,2,4,8,7,1,0,12,6,29,6,30,44,10,37,0,2,3,0,36,16,0,7,15,157,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0889980133403367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808432692368309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15177135906195965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07504980319792648,0.0,0.2557789779044053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055594654208870484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2810624689993185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091103031038842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980970687477594,0.0,0.4275427346618434,0.0893412487767006,0.2115260183874508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08077610235913645,0.0,0.0,0.06023671895718383,0.08249559265477689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046113444242084085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19999211593012145,0.1409217386070049,0.0,0.04764821931460638,0.0,0.0518310437082756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064783080518627,0.0,0.0,0.09004108754200732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19271554754106035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08106272224063475,0.0,0.0,0.2506055875555725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091406327361962,0.0,0.08070910207990414,0.0,0.10202943651724374,0.0995555387518339,0.07753495173578903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07279494462570357,0.0,0.06704247032829849,0.27049448371606805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08750882929316747,0.10383176841751582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06322657489583547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08734435966419386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021648366272852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685007004675962,0.0,0.0,0.09791463535529474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453491341248978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07544155624030739,0.10251258553623613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06455180699042676,0.0,0.0,0.0762472571914346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09975796300349768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05843725721507065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08714547803186536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194046654996187,0.15753498158986814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07239028985438023,0.0,0.0,0.08199972420810324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08791351499546295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058729789498644776
addiction,rolliepollie1890,2020/04/05,"Am I a functioning addict? I (21F) started drinking and smoking weed when I was 15. It immediately became a regular part of my life. By the time I was 17 I was using psychedelics and benzos as well. At that point in my life I had decent control and my drug use wasn’t causing any problems in my life. Everything changed after I graduated high school and got involved with a not so great group of people. I started using coke, mdma, meth on occasion, pain killers, ketamine, air duster (aka the devil), just everything except heroin and crack. The stuff I was doing before just increased significantly. For about 2 years that was my life. I maintained a restaurant job, but I would go to work on stuff frequently, and was doing drugs and drinking heavily everyday. 

I knew it was a problem and I wanted out. I don’t feel like I was a drug addict at that time, because I guess I didn’t match my idea of what a drug addict was. I didn’t go through withdrawals, I kept a job, there was days (even though few and far between) I’d be sober. But I do sometimes believe maybe I was. But there are people who struggle so much harder with it, and I don’t want to downplay their struggle by using the same label. 

I wanted to change though. I went back to school, just taking 2 easy classes. I’d go and rail adderall and coke in the bathrooms sometime. It wasn’t getting better, so I decided to leave home for a few months over the summer and go stay with my aunt across the country. I didn’t do drugs the entire time, but thought about them constantly. I just drank as much as I could without seeming like a junkie. 

It was a life changing experience for me. I came back and that’s when I changed. I enrolled in school full time, I was working, I spent less and less time with the people I did drugs with. But I was still using a few times a month. It has kept getting better, and I keep going longer and longer without using, but drugs are still somehow a huge part of my life. I would love for drugs to not be involved in my life at all anymore, but it makes me so sad and anxious to thing because man do I love drugs. And some drugs do truly have benefits for me, really only molly and psychedelics. 

What the current situation is is that I’ve realized I can’t control my use when I start. I have ADHD, I’m currently not on meds. But having ADHD and being in college is hard, so I find ways to get adderall frequently. I always tell myself I’ll just take one and I’ll be able to study. And then it ends up being way more, and I’m up for days and not eating and feel god awful. That it definitely my main problem right now, but I’m still able to keep up with school and be an honestly very good student, it doesn’t affects my relationships, or other responsibilities, and literally not even my family (who I live with and know all about my substance use when it was really bad) notices what’s going on. 

I think the last time I did coke was in January. Molly is my DOC, and I still do it, but I definitely don’t feel the addictive nature towards it at all. I’ve had a gram sitting in a drawer for like 2 months. But when I do it I go way overboard, If I have a gram and am already rolling really hard I keep going until that gram is gone. I drink sometimes, but really only socially and I never get blacked out or incoherent. I have completely cut off the group of people I started doing heavier shit with. Drugs don’t cause problems for me like they used to, and some of them are very beneficially. But I’m tired of always going overboard and then just feeling so horrible. 

TLDR; I have made significant improvements from where I was at. However, I realize I have an issue with adderall in particular. But I need to get back on ADHD meds because I just cannot keep up anymore. I don’t do drugs a ton anymore, but still multiple times a month (sometimes only adderall for the month). With any drug (except alcohol) I go wayyyyy overboard. So my question is was I drug addict? Am I a functioning addict now? I’m tired of this cycle, but I feel selfish if I were to seek help because it’s so minor compared to others struggles and I don’t want to take help away from people who need it more. 

I know this was long, so if you actually take the time to read it let alone respond just know I appreciate you.",3.72609429696616,5.035641261376898,4.9434289308634805,83.47082017575849,72.20886814469078,7.549948949824972,27.85970317969661,8.02467690995147,1.7452777275379232,3359,124,670,47,64,1112,324,857,0.09,0.8,0.11,0.9555,6,1,19,0,0,0,101.0,0,2,4,6,44,27,2,3,37,1,78,42,1,16,4,148,150,78,0,16,38,1,7,4,0,2,31,0,1,1,37,48,9,8,18,4,1,14,22,14,1,1,40,8,98,13,91,100,21,108,1,1,1,2,24,38,1,11,55,467,135,13,0.07009768987782546,0.0,0.03420261680371396,0.229250486323397,0.1263657017812952,0.0,0.0,0.037456556205314434,0.0,0.036300033178132775,0.03867727193483053,0.0,0.058326893387207465,0.0,0.0,0.047668832869131116,0.0,0.0,0.03959521852389314,0.10427710882147004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032929543557532005,0.08085119496581479,0.029264321532760994,0.0854618022525754,0.0,0.029823985573607124,0.03948804608376602,0.0,0.06199571026859085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04008654149128663,0.0,0.07200963680187739,0.1483081225375113,0.0,0.036748047086269935,0.03787535004868694,0.07862051972553437,0.02798365073325268,0.0,0.0,0.04520721093400162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030035744165256,0.5690374600024498,0.03586371832623903,0.0,0.0,0.031042873567549083,0.0,0.0,0.04629886305724533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06299928373705377,0.03428449569631382,0.03304093174108794,0.0,0.08860874550536707,0.025038901827449604,0.0,0.0,0.03203400931080312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155787446427052,0.0,0.1991906627973268,0.029397308253574943,0.02803176307056684,0.038641475278443416,0.03861025414193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06279376154106092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04698500392921976,0.037031028993078585,0.03515684918187044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03956587977596398,0.0,0.03658188814043435,0.06956114095275479,0.12461209511541856,0.0,0.0,0.05778578571583477,0.028569486532233082,0.0,0.037111666136606485,0.0,0.035839818581934496,0.17329224988488587,0.06849238100644782,0.0,0.030948772205666095,0.031017124848107886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0632659019112731,0.033164064526816715,0.023395376155465487,0.0,0.03521127562608545,0.0,0.07786273106126311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13987826822377342,0.0,0.05152986760377233,0.05197654883980425,0.02703182990964248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03990334226513227,0.0,0.0,0.023750004401843758,0.07996867781245147,0.037294442142308086,0.0,0.0,0.07590896716767323,0.0,0.12149228009753013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03313248725512016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13414804462655247,0.0,0.0,0.03926272763656565,0.0,0.0350583296541142,0.0,0.0898127501793364,0.0,0.0,0.03762934280033738,0.0,0.029931522074196262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14188520898682885,0.0,0.03190715208982977,0.0,0.0,0.03597713566435847,0.0,0.03939637020037519,0.0,0.03572788361010085,0.0,0.0,0.13865681536491686,0.0,0.09923101137270926,0.03735740530767352,0.13995026421327195,0.0,0.0,0.10992198795075163,0.08024508418474184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10540947804596386,0.0,0.030634235316983883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0232848951986931,0.022457884626524045,0.06887062439955244,0.02782486788752622,0.18393537005302288,0.08056698272781122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27243853911122645,0.0,0.05783793537317181,0.08269086731692246,0.08346042516918667,0.0,0.0,0.031513120797145334,0.032490630397723694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06757167160032708,0.0,0.05103195309051403,0.0,0.0,0.04979538768823178,0.0,0.0,0.02257030701914017
addiction,Sheepsaysmoo,2020/04/05,"I feel like if I could enjoy music sober, I’d be happy. I’ve also had a great love for music. I play many different instruments and listen to many different genres. 

When I was in highschool I found weed. I could listen to music I love, and just be content all day. You can just crawl in a little cozy hole, and it’s just you, weed, the music, and the universe. Obviously I did other things, but this was among my favorites. When I had to quit weed due to it causing anxiety, I lost that. Then came the anhedonia and I lost interest in music. Losing all interest in something you love feels like part of your soul is missing. It changes how you see and think about yourself. 

I’ve been using drugs on and off for a long time trying to get to that content place I was with music and weed. Kratom, phenibut, lyrica, adderall, ketamine, dxm, you name it. But drugs obviously have their downfalls. 

I’ve done the whole rehab and sobriety thing for long periods of time, and that’s when the anhedonia really kicks in. No pleasure at all from music. 

When I am enjoying music sober, things are usually going well in other aspects of my life. And vice versa. Rare that it may be. 

I realizing I’m pointing at a symptom and saying, if this was gone I’d be happy. But it really feels like that. I feel like it may never go back to how it was, enjoying music, and that causes a strong sense of dread I can’t shake. Feels bad man.",1.9348004926108369,4.276212721428575,3.5998029556650226,86.45071428571428,80.71428571428572,6.433497536945814,21.798029556650253,7.6298220110432995,1.0239519704433493,1102,34,217,18,29,366,143,280,0.08800000000000001,0.6940000000000001,0.218,0.9919,2,0,3,0,0,0,42.0,0,6,1,5,13,26,0,2,10,0,24,8,0,5,6,47,47,26,0,4,8,0,5,4,0,2,5,3,0,1,21,15,0,0,8,1,0,5,3,7,1,0,15,9,25,19,28,24,5,34,1,4,1,3,15,14,0,4,19,146,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835595673799774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07993356160096231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034535265587125,0.08724369138063959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11950722488022962,0.0,0.21467733405477704,0.11053517896715752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16685143276206804,0.0,0.0,0.06738656070481952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21833688284660244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10692820723265324,0.0,0.0,0.2423474141121442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641631051600372,0.2985869631180268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11456645501099387,0.0,0.0,0.054591027741995514,0.0,0.11876666056679602,0.0,0.0,0.1151991492408629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22246030623027446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738034516130042,0.2041915833846411,0.1047251172150548,0.0,0.18493840458482588,0.0,0.1168961165712565,0.2281234957380514,0.0,0.2829153658193921,0.0,0.0,0.21187026235814746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08058811899844129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11315106856630355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916844142330122,0.0,0.09877558546924424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11113658323321454,0.0,0.0,0.13387626037939526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830935998960925,0.0,0.0,0.08326395747233048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044049816501388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086037565739339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082529275388592,0.06695213327344891,0.0,0.0,0.12185639044705796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07094096146956437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09024467938165896,0.11507952962282655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939478806022937,0.0,0.0,0.11665789051256095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,fucking_throwaway_z,2020/04/05,"Am I being lazy or is this ok? I hate everything right now. I quit cigs and marijuana 10 days ago. One year cig smoker, on avg 5-10 cigs a day, three year heavy weed smoker. I'd kill around an ounce every three weeks.

I had always wanted to quit, but I could never last for more than a few days. This quarantine has given me the chance to actually quit, because I'm under 21 and I'm living far from my plugs. I hate nicotine because it interferes with my physical goals, but I'm open to smoking weed once this is all over. 

Life sucks right now. I was severely fatigued, irritated, and dizzy but those symptoms have gotten a lot better. I've been jogging over a mile a day which has helped. I'm working out, but for some reason my body is taking forever to recover from being sore. 

Right now, nothing is fucking fun! I hate doing everything. I have exams to study for but I hate studying and can't focus. I don't want to play my instruments because it's boring. I've been playing a shit ton of video games but I'm getting bored of that after the first hour each day. Netflix is boring, I don't post much on social media and browsing other people's random shit is boring as fuck as well.

What the fuck do I do... I'm mildly depressed and I'm not sure if that's an underlying mental issue or a symptom of withdrawals. I also get anxious whenever I run into a roadblock while studying. 

Give me advice, or just say something... I fucking hate life right now.",2.1726418786692747,4.3176422328767154,3.8737181996086094,85.86438356164383,78.72602739726028,6.089236790606655,23.442270058708417,7.1686216300943375,1.0093763209393345,1140,38,221,14,28,381,170,292,0.287,0.669,0.043,-0.9979,0,1,3,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,7,8,26,13,0,13,1,24,13,3,1,3,35,49,20,1,4,12,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,11,12,0,1,1,6,0,2,5,19,1,4,6,1,22,7,28,40,8,38,0,2,0,4,5,16,7,7,19,136,33,3,0.0,0.0,0.08785479278019914,0.0,0.0,0.0879747717469689,0.07980480012868515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07199572905126532,0.07491089295087865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10170653720640464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08014441889703336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646415456442591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962285912458136,0.0,0.10000132653512117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188040173979965,0.0,0.0,0.2903045526874857,0.0,0.07754138295662083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758528626746377,0.0,0.16182355431409046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07657816433525047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33291945206599466,0.09407231188907768,0.08636350485202314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4444223410614895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06034418079277215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865990085308231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09396632487305172,0.0,0.0,0.09960315509085503,0.0,0.0,0.07338521299497404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12717953124901538,0.0,0.0,0.07949678191392458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765389794929631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09072751542632468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618127885216264,0.0,0.06943550047092736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638473798947795,0.0,0.0,0.09587737450635328,0.061005616243556784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06241440035783107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622238104880267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2872690555381885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09256425381891392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3075352607685766,0.0,0.0715942469736485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10170653720640464,0.18482584632378812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09177268011550636,0.0,0.06930830893728249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848507606003475,0.18714808794283244,0.06769019972904171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10620223965077287,0.0,0.07221540230111342,0.0,0.08094639990206699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655417930397816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595075648929384
addiction,_discussing_,2020/04/05,"Sex addiction. Do you believe it's real? I have been discussing sex addiction for a few years now and no one seems to believe it's a real addiction. 

Maybe it's not so common which is a good thing but it's still real.

but what do you guys think?",0.2941025641025625,2.495498153846153,2.539999999999999,92.28833333333336,86.69230769230771,5.7743589743589725,20.2051282051282,7.1686216300943375,0.5457974358974362,192,6,42,3,6,65,35,52,0.035,0.915,0.05,0.1803,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,5,5,0,0,0,9,7,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,7,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,3,1,2,6,1,4,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,4,30,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5665821218412075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39037162007922255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14530821333337907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17153804851262405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740461237567024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739410549168655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.591566217260876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15771414249009466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13835227819466686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150951131236858,0.11100727529808876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115629689306078
addiction,mfries18,2020/04/05,"Been trying to quit weed for a couple of months now but nothing seems to help Hey all this is my first post on Reddit ever...so hello and thank you for taking your precious Reddit time to listen to my whining.

I've been smoking weed consistently for over a year now. I've never necessarily viewed weed as a bad thing in my life, I've always put it out as a good thing(""it helps with my insomnia"", ""I just like the high"", etc) but I'm reaching a point where I can't distinguish being high and being sober anymore. I don't know if it's the extremely high tolerance I have( I can 3-4 fat dabs in a row and be ""sober"" in less than an hour) or if it's all mental. I honestly don't know what I'm feeling anymore or what to think about it. I had dropped my bong last night and I had told myself yesterday that if my bong broke for whatever reason that's the reason from the universe to quit (I don't really believe in that kind of stuff but it was something to hold myself to). But then when it finally did I quick-epoxied it together (by using a torch toharden the glue faster)and smoked the rest of the wax I had even though I was almost definitely breathing in the toxic fumes of the glue I had used to put it back together.so naturally the next day being out of wax I hit up my plug and I picked him up to go pickup the wax from his supplier(his car is broken down at the moment). We get the wax, we smoke out of the half busted rig and I start to not feel great(from the fumes) and I make the split second decision to throw my rig out the window into a ditch never to be seen by me again. I give the wax that my plug gave me for helping him deliver and tell him to sell it to someone else I'm done.

So that's how we get to now, I ride out the rest of my shitty high, do some housework, and now I'm sitting here thinking about how I'm gonna get high tomorrow... I still have a pipe and I have some dirt weed that never got me high but my brain doesn't seem to care. I keep telling myself no more weed but I keep crawling back to it with some sorry excuse as to why it's okay....

Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this, I just really wanted to vent and get some insight into the things I'm feeling",4.9160878177616345,4.250857888412018,5.884120171673821,84.79930009904261,68.8283261802575,8.971805876526906,27.57972928359195,8.263242389622931,1.5305582040277317,1720,45,387,21,26,572,229,466,0.08199999999999999,0.8270000000000001,0.091,0.6309,0,0,3,0,0,0,49.0,3,3,0,3,20,14,2,0,31,1,27,5,3,8,5,71,67,31,0,4,14,0,3,1,0,1,3,1,1,0,25,23,1,3,14,1,1,7,10,5,0,3,15,6,51,9,64,45,11,64,0,2,2,0,23,26,0,12,29,258,76,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842846040478875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07003660432674222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669490506979459,0.05885397534105107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12944384822221075,0.07027885728369912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948313376076858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939621223265338,0.0,0.0,0.08581744124305868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09313306470646177,0.0,0.05428301356428256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08613565172201168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703136578179412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938723644305859,0.05559382583934257,0.07613704215568101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12767741167321264,0.0,0.0,0.09220467585960596,0.0,0.07159538999398983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17590246294881326,0.08074401971897575,0.04783603866335055,0.07059822757090188,0.06731884332399103,0.09279828077630807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169253149193246,0.5335845696117647,0.0,0.0,0.08289099423453995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14962922749866656,0.0,0.08765063021354337,0.09251581845839613,0.06861019704214345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0594521180944177,0.041121457953366296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05618446681183973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482407363143536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671840954083591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19475245112485168,0.0,0.08951628876089357,0.07898831866427528,0.0,0.08076387126242901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956833513634795,0.0,0.08061207853421751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169229214551512,0.0,0.17905138923954994,0.08419328442684425,0.0,0.10784356379224412,0.1730825989156594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532513361391342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713173971768101,0.06479856825066893,0.0,0.09422199110120594,0.0595763178600659,0.0,0.06721867537198684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09635509254544852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06328574588384267,0.0,0.14713746562874394,0.15498578779619646,0.0,0.0,0.16775743371014534,0.10786612406471574,0.08269709546822937,0.0,0.0981609986671878,0.0,0.0,0.08042852619236147,0.09351652996978654,0.05714624894693863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14539258581358527,0.0,0.0,0.04964594562977902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07595079040501934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054203046671411084
addiction,Ethanyolo1999,2020/04/05,What am I doing man Here I am out of a mental hospital for trying to kill myself because of my addictions and telling everyone I am ok while abusing the fuck out of my benzos for my anxiety and eating tablespoons of nutmeg and smoking clove and chamomile tea joints with no weed and craving the euphoria of oxycodone and I want heroin. I have no money I have hurt everyone and I’m fucking 2 weeks from my 18th birthday. Man I’m fucked.,4.850503875968993,5.9962229651162815,5.9162790697674446,78.17503875968997,69.34883720930233,8.989147286821705,32.93798449612403,9.2995712137729,3.1140914728682176,349,16,63,7,6,116,56,86,0.28300000000000003,0.639,0.078,-0.9661,0,0,0,0,0,1,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,6,4,0,3,1,6,6,0,0,0,11,12,8,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,10,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,11,1,12,12,0,4,0,1,0,3,3,2,3,0,2,44,12,0,0.0,0.2552777053362629,0.0,0.2348766131046843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16482168582105625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13133873117235714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22046318406298773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41175097408151545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5975511287454605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306479149094568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383678790041636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21712691128873848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883162531525868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462790926488559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270803248549448,0.0,0.1728241666867566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Fx_Mind,2020/04/05,I really want to use. I’ve been sober from meth for 5 days now. I know it’s not much but it’s a start.My thoughts are starting to get the best of me atm. I feel mixed emotions and it’s hard to handle them all. I really just want to bang my head against the wall or something.,-1.3738709677419365,0.5816157258064543,0.7550806451612893,103.45262096774192,93.35483870967742,4.390322580645162,15.81451612903226,5.985473137389443,-0.8625870967741941,213,5,56,2,8,70,47,62,0.027999999999999997,0.816,0.156,0.8119,0,0,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,3,0,2,1,1,1,1,12,10,3,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,7,1,8,8,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,32,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908901688818321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787623848958976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3117975451410934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14015384131790734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14481852480682053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483046916132927,0.0,0.28447335464485857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15233447134096464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20376399773187268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3551455859454959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21339173781521556,0.0,0.0,0.3923881142438632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22005514785015629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23940017032620564,0.0,0.0,0.3269836016263795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,welcomingthrillhouse,2020/04/05,"struggling just passed my 30 days a week ago, I’ve been addicted to opiates for the past 2 years and I’m trying so hard to keep my mind in check but quarantine and constant solitude makes me want to hit up my old dealer very bad. I don’t even know what I’m looking for, I guess to know that I’m not alone and I can do this",4.120416666666664,3.2166013194444467,5.032777777777781,91.04,70.5277777777778,8.311111111111114,27.722222222222207,7.1686216300943375,1.071822222222222,253,7,63,2,4,83,54,72,0.12300000000000001,0.825,0.052000000000000005,-0.7151,0,2,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,2,0,4,1,0,1,0,13,15,5,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,2,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,1,2,7,0,8,13,0,10,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,7,32,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598427816261856,0.0,0.0,0.21128785379517676,0.0,0.0,0.24686451257921366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19901696606432795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25757772128342593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15371964038604308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15743162279647466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625755608137822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21351979569522192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118614049964126,0.0,0.0,0.2619880034221725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20015866877065766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15910421081117668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24067120384215585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25011410167710296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275373863359034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2491810208918045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16182780322488902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19666832884724886,0.14058830576525197,0.0,0.19119448126620991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534931886618691
addiction,blxrries,2020/04/05,"addiction i’m addicted to weed, orgasm, and nicotine.
i just got clean of DXM and DPH. trying to to get clean day by day but it’s hard.",-1.6389655172413808,0.18430303448275964,1.3202758620689643,95.92731034482759,104.86206896551724,5.078620689655172,16.144827586206898,6.742157984588678,0.0647599999999997,104,3,24,2,5,36,23,29,0.057,0.813,0.131,0.2732,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,3,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,5,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,11,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7437597047467297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4399986546933395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17822529087084624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728312095550036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3055836671890379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316035073075625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Rocky1326,2020/04/05,"When can i smoke again without hurting my brain For the longest time i thought weed was the only drug that had no negative longterm side affects. 
Then i used it as a coping method and became addicted. 
Was fully high for 5 months straight, smoking unhealthy extreme amounts. 
I then began noticing i couldnt memorize things, couldnt focus on school unless i was high, but still couldnt fully focus
I got sick with flu and thats the only reason i was able to quit, 
ive been sober (except for one or two hits with friends) for two months and 10 days now. I know i wont get addicted again, but if i get high once again will it erase all the healing to my brain ive been working for? 
I just dont want to hurt the healing process, when will my brain be fully healed???
Im asking for real IMFORMED ADVICE. Not a stoners opinion. PLEASE, im become a doctor i need my brain.",4.1633809523809555,5.017774971428576,4.594642857142857,88.09577380952379,70.71428571428572,6.7476190476190485,28.29761904761905,6.42735559955562,1.1870476190476191,680,24,139,4,12,215,106,175,0.121,0.838,0.040999999999999995,-0.9217,0,0,3,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,2,8,3,0,0,8,0,18,13,4,3,1,28,29,13,0,6,9,0,0,0,1,3,9,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,4,0,0,0,9,2,0,3,10,0,19,1,16,11,2,20,0,2,0,0,2,6,0,3,14,88,24,3,0.11374962436117997,0.0,0.0,0.24800776125770185,0.0,0.11115481643706564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634054370712492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12562752325281498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5079288001859609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733590974413269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164275605179543,0.0,0.0,0.13331371258830613,0.0,0.13191345114334396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08788267761330436,0.0,0.11885896777221355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09097596582757717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3605481702759925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435426510086647,0.0,0.24573822768723255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06251381873923131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815877298607512,0.0,0.0,0.08434390514755817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12950470126263738,0.0,0.1211396375585218,0.07707968933055248,0.17302343016212335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12486292917746968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120986727226137,0.0,0.1294719754850255,0.0,0.11695355881647773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11512069265612702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908405969512182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07557019601522277,0.0,0.0,0.09030449578643812,0.06632832071525176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22223370906800868,0.0,0.0,0.0982431535172107,0.0,0.0,0.06709247559936775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096505787193662,0.0,0.08281108128642664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,toxic1245,2020/04/05,"Torn between addiction and a relationship. Im a 22/female. 
Ive been in a good relationship for around 6 years. Things were great for a long time. We do live together and love hiking and fishing together. But after a bad accident i was in, i sunk into a depression. I became numb to life. I had suffered in the past with drinking as a teen. A year after my accident, i lost my job. I sank even further. I started drinking again. Then i started hanging out with a new friend that introduced me to drugs (mostly coke) and i have continued to sink deeper and deeper.
A part of  me wants help. I got on antidepressants and signed up for counselling, but the other part of me just wants to give in. My bf is against the way im drinking, and would leave me if he knew i was using drugs. I know he would be better off without me, but part of me wants to hold on to the life we built together. At one point it was amazing, when i was totally sober. Now tho, hes always against me and it creates conflict and makes me feel like we dont love eachother anymore. But i know if i leave him the drug use and drinking will only get worse. My soul is being torn in two. Part of me wants love. Part of me wants total destruction.",1.8962407211028642,3.876727093495937,3.4991905266878764,89.02525450689289,78.87804878048779,6.5546836337928625,24.516790385295163,7.586124646067393,1.1751829621774483,939,34,198,14,23,311,136,246,0.127,0.728,0.145,0.8934,1,0,7,0,0,0,32.0,3,0,0,2,7,15,1,0,15,0,19,15,0,3,2,46,40,20,0,9,8,0,1,1,2,3,7,0,0,0,5,18,5,2,4,4,0,1,2,6,0,2,10,1,35,9,36,25,8,32,1,3,0,3,16,15,0,3,16,141,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781177104615428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07465707270659869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898152284843891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07987286592014575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491530762239422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07935307334634319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07727864983479353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10515517955465008,0.35157917261042604,0.3121520443322044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05926147244892911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045366856840591364,0.06409842889507579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06932009142007096,0.0,0.04687678354726063,0.08607087977394821,0.0,0.07525574746783255,0.07176001505036278,0.09892038686859696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060139716874290525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19383337958408253,0.0,0.08903664940952911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986192898921238,0.0,0.0,0.1900082926502181,0.0,0.0,0.12674860941084956,0.04383433071516834,0.0,0.07922742332253663,0.07940240292114438,0.0,0.0,0.09794371139426887,0.0,0.2429366676954399,0.0,0.05989107930167566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665543775879195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060798911186289065,0.06823870370352092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4858085997567237,0.08565115643175868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848176327010921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19265874921172896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12701339640397338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0596082531697336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0523184475096714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08764674363360345,0.0,0.0,0.15498445355010732,0.0,0.0,0.2646059876902846,0.07121827420289342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649017471378748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143582986607046,0.12747388599677914,0.0,0.0,0.11555788105853565
addiction,Mickey0110,2020/04/05,"Tips, advice and experience on dealing with a relapse. Hello everyone! I know someone that’s recently had a lapse in judgment and decided to use again. So I thought asking others on this subreddit their opinion and if they have had a lapse or relapse, how they dealt with that situation. I’ve been in recovery for about 2 years or so and have had 3 relapses since I’ve started my journey and currently have around 18 months clean from opiates. Personally I think of a lapse/relapse as a learning experience more than I do a failure. You only fail when you give up. The way I like to explain a relapse is using a Gordon Ramsey metaphor. Do you think Gordon Ramsey became a master chef overnight or in a few years? No he’s failed countless times before he became a master chef but with each failure came a learning experience and the best experience is personal first hand experience. With each failure of a dish he learned a little more. He learned what worked and what didn’t. And after so many failed attempts he learned how to make that dish damn near perfect. Recovery and relapse is a lot like that. You can fail and turn it around. Learn from that experience. Or you can fail and keep it that way by giving up. So what’s your guys take on this topic. What worked for you? What’s your personal experience? And more importantly do you have a metaphor for recovery, lapses, relapses, or prolapses.",4.071143852978455,6.494172038022814,4.8358412547528475,79.9100102978454,73.86692015209124,7.881432192648924,30.349968314321927,8.72156446121922,2.69027515842839,1118,51,199,23,24,360,131,263,0.13,0.768,0.102,-0.8323,1,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,9,3,13,11,10,1,0,18,0,17,3,1,5,1,49,33,27,0,1,7,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,4,16,21,2,1,12,0,0,2,2,6,0,1,7,1,18,4,30,26,8,27,0,5,0,0,27,12,1,8,13,136,34,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106419751580828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841375935477441,0.09668696380098153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08800573771613981,0.0,0.1085365291464741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11828887348816687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066250347488285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09882553776216038,0.0,0.7081758505996001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797193299955827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19842639291242173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024054748542528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09192751361081597,0.0,0.0,0.05683882288723158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105494625342136,0.10365746634732886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08792691799625768,0.0,0.0,0.06903595539324511,0.1048551444697369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255161038156571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786581935055783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709160996664493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10211817892203684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555294587214804,0.1162522900993621,0.0,0.0,0.08763035282953131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320364961467589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07776156254177592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13253914029855546,0.0,0.08210666610108963,0.06030704489943056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11249501386684416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17864930715370028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641854399146649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505870054738946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332026207427487
addiction,lowcarson98,2020/04/05,"Im addicted to Zzquil, how do I stop I cant go to bed without it, otherwise I sit up all night playing dark souls then I try to read then I just stare at my wall. Then back to work. What do I do?",-2.5451449275362314,-0.8700558043478228,0.7391304347826093,103.4185507246377,96.17391304347828,4.8057971014492775,16.36231884057971,6.42735559955562,-0.6096550724637679,147,4,42,2,6,52,33,46,0.055,0.9,0.045,-0.1027,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,1,5,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,7,1,7,5,1,11,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,6,27,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3910933758765969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758586669973864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203887415915731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3875144574538877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3366650882888843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35884976429704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2999333049691533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24356952106895655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3458247821012314,0.0,0.26117622429281223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Nessie2212,2020/04/05,"Stopping vaping is 10 times harder than cigarettes? Just wanting to see if anyone can relate because oh boy is this hard.

I started smoking at 13, and stopped a year ago when I was 18. It really wasn't that hard for me to do, apart from the first two weeks, but even then it was manageable.

After that, I started vaping just because it helped with my nerves, and it helped me come off my ""Vyvanse"" high that I would get for the first hour after taking them (they are prescribed to me by a doctor.)

However, it's starting to become worrying for me. During the quarantine, I'm pretty much vaping all day. From the second I wake up to the second I go to bed. It's just a habit now to reach for it. I'll have a panic attack if I forget my vape at home, and sometimes I even grab it in my pockets inside a store before realizing. I know that most people will say that vaping does no harm, but the problem is the frequency. Right now, I'm in quarantine and I am not working/going to uni, so I can do it whenever I want. But once I have to go  back to uni, I'm seriously worried about how this is gonna affect me. I've tried everything, nicotine patches, going down to 0mg nicotine, chewing gum while using nicotine patches but nothing helps. I think I'm addicted to the motion? Does that even make sense? I don't even think it's the nicotine, I just think it's the action of doing it.

I really need to kick this before going back to school or work. As I was typing this, I must've taken about 10-15 puffs. I'm extremely worried. Has anyone ever experienced this ? What helped you? 

Thank you",2.864104960460104,4.424575143302182,4.627492211838007,83.8756164629763,74.82554517133956,7.4306733764677695,24.495686556434226,8.139509932561175,1.4646974838245868,1235,39,246,20,26,419,173,321,0.139,0.8290000000000001,0.032,-0.9838,1,2,1,0,0,0,45.0,0,2,2,3,18,6,1,1,15,0,21,4,1,4,2,38,49,17,0,7,12,0,3,0,0,3,2,1,2,1,24,6,1,2,5,0,1,7,4,5,0,5,5,6,32,1,36,41,3,40,0,0,1,0,10,10,0,4,23,167,56,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113152386045714,0.0,0.0,0.09200842390071197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14515241577348229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180823346134032,0.0,0.15962462321015333,0.0,0.12654551354370175,0.114633944816741,0.1766446047640346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08941060906406198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693949311546712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10623906451378587,0.18166423527514944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742237232373401,0.09388894747298464,0.0,0.0,0.0932846781048384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17657675213357352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05422885049303644,0.0,0.2949467955555365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859607120867812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2782876697827553,0.10966561568948477,0.10411532209793052,0.0,0.10221763261773226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05704327731762567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06928428402180667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07630161530512097,0.07696302782994628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959455544868832,0.0,0.0,0.1105387909228914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12178162324622575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07195871171122603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055973108963945,0.0,0.09931824950274164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329880753114333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08864076656912928,0.0,0.0825423259475839,0.0,0.1050465597626256,0.08271155330809132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026563765577438,0.0,0.22040090945850588,0.0,0.0,0.17355532568541954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804127797514401,0.0,0.0,0.0955609259137109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199523843513355,0.0,0.0,0.06052397484075126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047031265919597,0.0,0.10139309476974402,0.0,0.0,0.08964596250338155,0.0,0.0,0.12244251810964725,0.0,0.08325846736496006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556434033407701,0.3162280226803493,0.0,0.0737333257785951,0.0,0.0,0.06684088135971969
addiction,ShlongMan420,2020/04/06,"I am 20 and struggling with addictive behaviours I'm a 20 years old guy from Eastern Europe and I feel like I got sucked into a black hole that will one day ruin me. To give you a little background information, I grew up in a rough neighborhood, I was exposed to drugs from an early age.When I was a kid, around 6 or 7 me and my friends promised to each other that we won't ever do drugs (heroin in special as we saw what did to other older kids who would just nod out on the park benches where we would play) years later we started drinking then shortly after smoking weed and doing other hard drugs such as cocaine mdma ketamine acid xanax and meth. My biggest problem is weed, I smoked it every day for 3 years until 2 months ago when I stopped leaving my house because of the covid-19 situation but I am convinced that once this is over I ll get back on my shit, maybe even earlier as yesterday I tried to sneak out of the house to go pop ecstasy but my father caught me. I am ashamed of myself for risking my family's health by going to hang out with a bunch of my friends that I know for sure don't respect the social distancing and some of them present many symptoms of the virus. I tried many times to quit smoking weed and doing other drugs but as soon as I am near them or even think about them is like I flip a switch and is the only thing on my mind, I deceive myself that it's not that big of a deal and that I will stop someday. I am also addicted to the lifestyle, the streets and the connections I built over the time and I think that is even a worse addiction than my substance one as I feel that the kind of people I am surrounded by are the only ones who accept me and can relate to my problems , plus the fact that most of them I know since we were kids and we always had each others backs. I wish some day I will do things that are good for me, as I know that true happiness doesn't come from outside stimuli but rather from things you build for yourself, and that often isn't easy and requires will power  consistency and discipline, but for now I lack that, I feel like my brain is wired only for instant gratification and meaningless acts of momentary pleasure that at the end of the day just deepen the feeling that I am a spine less loser that can't keep his promises. I wish to hear some of yall s stories and maybe you could tell me how you manage to stay clean and what helps you.I know sobriety is a very bumpy road and that there is no guaranteed way to kick it for sure, and for that reason it scares me even more as I m so used to failing that at times I don't even want to think about trying anymore. Thank you for reading this and I wish you a good day!",11.193978832951947,5.77348159963768,10.255381388253245,73.28244851258584,60.90217391304349,13.215255530129676,41.19031273836766,9.276330184999452,3.6504442028985498,2121,67,452,22,19,679,276,552,0.121,0.738,0.141,0.9541,1,0,8,0,0,0,27.0,6,7,4,5,24,32,2,4,29,0,40,14,3,3,5,92,70,44,0,11,11,1,6,3,2,7,10,1,1,4,38,39,1,5,14,3,0,7,8,11,0,3,8,10,72,21,75,54,10,65,0,3,2,0,34,24,2,7,35,320,110,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397847789187882,0.0,0.0,0.06499264798176724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058632977801766135,0.06100707335530694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271249856012403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06526923188428517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127551859459626,0.0,0.044694429416012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184797284934008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06315761094882771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05853905579024945,0.0,0.0,0.2364226408674424,0.07558841172633013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718244621575773,0.34010589086313725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06493865024912679,0.0,0.0,0.2421317141005295,0.06632100685775477,0.06177420899836395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06911839219944949,0.0,0.14828865171559494,0.10475785914965782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11329176858784246,0.0,0.03830602070037773,0.07033402577624706,0.08333747039326436,0.12299257765494252,0.05863970208637,0.0,0.0,0.07259708955357365,0.0,0.07804917261993433,0.06567919863586218,0.0,0.0,0.0779344025991639,0.08263555977619612,0.0,0.04914401256175888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16919998683027196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06516907369981906,0.0,0.07635019542252064,0.16117626996551931,0.0,0.0,0.0776339697471417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10745951317689537,0.07348464892159097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14866740912155962,0.1473170779588042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07403103656788837,0.0,0.058522326664582264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07693569447363555,0.07808207577312991,0.14904804729921672,0.1672866394938546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05082998948570183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140312283472276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07798351549673815,0.07333859099007563,0.0,0.0,0.07538388611270047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07340485920431578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07526064314855943,0.06065002756827155,0.08241334681727641,0.0,0.07473923227014671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051895388545277116,0.0781480320180751,0.0,0.12259551581717895,0.0,0.07664867659765179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13820410816871118,0.07620625438893461,0.0,0.0,0.06408381906302135,0.06750205421868434,0.0,0.0,0.14612915863976372,0.1409390833542183,0.0,0.0,0.12825825803277927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493358552288632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06332385923984835,0.0,0.06049564722410687,0.043245298311429314,0.05819701095982376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529388319661203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471806993913498,0.104167072615535,0.0,0.0,0.14164461324838695
addiction,catbutt_1,2020/04/06,My friend is starting a relationship with a drug addict My friend met a homeless teen while on her work lunch break. He’s a heroin addict. She met him last year when he was homeless and before he went to prison. Fast forward 8 months and she’s in his parents house with him while the whol country is on lockdown with covid-19. She told me she’s having sex with him. He’s 20 now and she’s 25. They’ve been doing drugs and drinking all week. She won’t go home and her phone is broken. Her ex boyfriend contacted me yesterday and told me that he contacted her and she had a “life is pointless” kind of sentiment. I know she’s an adult and can make her own choices but I’m worried that she’s going down the wrong path of self destruction. What can I do to help her?,0.9911111111111096,3.3526944840764368,2.0167622080679406,96.13863234253364,85.05095541401273,5.017551309271055,20.8241330502477,6.42735559955562,0.14316447275300748,602,19,132,6,18,189,97,157,0.11699999999999999,0.833,0.05,-0.8898,1,1,3,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,2,5,1,0,8,0,13,8,0,1,1,16,24,12,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,5,0,1,2,3,12,2,0,1,1,0,4,1,2,0,0,8,0,26,3,12,15,2,20,0,0,0,1,39,5,0,0,12,77,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3727292459033854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14546889514994474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16746941406032925,0.396503729720634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641566053309149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19431370478501586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11458657316827485,0.0,0.17148036753229226,0.0,0.0,0.197257464951944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17802183415935596,0.09395161021998463,0.1393499748914518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207495608650115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11411283420029188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364535070859674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18982370641308025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18354015458040454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783418551432187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12100181541274252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32670692079714525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13712864059037952,0.0,0.0,0.1584756703632765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12445623364287035,0.17361164671558696,0.0,0.0,0.18691089000501745,0.0,0.1100884929402231
addiction,Vincetagram,2020/04/06,"Does this sound like my friend's looking to get a substance for the wrong reason? About 10 high school friends in a group chat where we are more than comfortable about talking about things that aren't very politically correct to say the least. Today, my childhood friend asked the group chat if anyone had Percocet. I said I might know a guy who knows a guy and expressed my concern for him. Here's the convo:

Friend: Serious question

me: Yeah?

friend: Do y'all know anyone that has Percocet?

me: Woah there bud, what do you need it for?

friend:  I'm not saying I need it. I'm asking if you know anyone who has some.

me:  I mean I might know a person who knows a person, why?

friend: do they sell any?

me: But why you need Percocet tho? Just take a Tylenol if it’s for pain.

me: And if it keeps hurting take another one lol

friend: I don't need it

friend: My mom can't get in touch with her pain doctor and she's ran out

friend: The pain clinic is closed

\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_

my friends been having a lot of trouble dealing with his health issues and school in the past couple years and he's picked up smoking and drinking and has problems with depression and anxiety and it's been getting worse recently. However, given the recent outbreak non essential jobs are closing and even some doctors are considered non essential. does this sound like he's trying to use perkys for alternate reasons or does this sound legit? Do people even hit up their friends for a situation like he is portraying?",2.419932088285229,5.016110859649125,2.9421505376344084,90.34354838709677,80.75438596491226,6.063384267119412,23.22863610639502,7.359569317364363,1.009249009620826,1165,40,229,17,31,361,155,285,0.099,0.735,0.166,0.9684,2,0,1,0,0,0,142.0,1,4,2,0,10,25,0,0,16,2,21,9,0,4,1,49,48,17,0,9,8,1,1,3,13,2,8,6,0,4,16,17,1,1,10,3,1,1,4,9,0,1,6,8,27,16,23,39,5,17,0,2,1,0,48,10,0,11,9,133,43,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04784942461615641,0.07378200541978783,0.053827695634398466,0.0,0.0,0.14759886670243755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13156028565108452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07785560065421993,0.0,0.0,0.07254142377449589,0.06060376634668677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14403954113293416,0.1847260695186828,0.0,0.0,0.06892919996271261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294852944075407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6523496928376437,0.0,0.11028568601763998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13934136510679926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479284716322222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434263956609075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753253171790384,0.0,0.0,0.07344095475120811,0.06982467096206336,0.06254209189320999,0.0,0.0,0.2320188207742544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10312779308274346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0590874107329224,0.0,0.0,0.05982032113355965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076646209758776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14928858315895766,0.0,0.08240859101380353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20869384088727905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0476799609665006,0.0,0.2246143851840237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06716968635982498,0.048781019782309525,0.1228769562391062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732812995847122,0.0,0.0,0.07882294628141054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446902852799296,0.1389504464821693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693156623050536,0.1119113652586076,0.0,0.1424227362604319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909124400961673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580881825732602,0.056555317114729414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04674621845950292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06669613609086653,0.0,0.0,0.04777202973962478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060771258493770575,0.0,0.05805705241809829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12698378230723625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07170616568437807,0.0,0.07693117089263374,0.0,0.045311627714519236
addiction,powderfiend,2020/04/06,"Im scared and I need to go home Since lockdown I’ve abused staying at home. i’ve relapsed in every way possible. I’m an intelligent guy and know all this shit works. Went to rehab a year ago today and loved it. The way my brain works Infeel as if I should be removed from society and left to myself. I have the ability to love and care, in fact that is what I strive for. Instead, I end up harmin myself. IVing anythint and everythint because I know how to.

I went 9 months sober, nothing. It was great but what did it prove? I still get suicidal thoughts, anxiety, depression, what is the point? I know my death will destroy my family and I feel the guilt wven thinking about it. It seems like the only way out.

What do I do? Please.",0.4098648648648648,2.8462870135135176,2.046,93.57400000000004,91.02702702702706,5.392432432432432,20.23783783783784,6.961326702584282,0.530590810810811,570,19,121,9,20,185,99,148,0.213,0.685,0.102,-0.9702,0,1,0,0,1,0,21.0,0,0,0,2,4,10,2,2,7,0,11,5,2,1,3,23,27,11,2,3,2,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,2,1,11,8,0,0,8,0,0,4,0,5,0,0,5,1,17,5,14,19,1,21,0,1,0,2,3,7,1,2,7,72,28,2,0.0,0.16694710147087696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490207306359953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107790465568166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08589320579799571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15729442948383482,0.0,0.0,0.1436600741432762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135961074876728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12479830088386902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11871691653376333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13283087765490093,0.0,0.07124482763142635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07361604035023407,0.0,0.08007846378959027,0.0,0.0,0.15534613597875466,0.0,0.13951619552674482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28267454253425783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521994984819934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23230993280577605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15309160164784127,0.0,0.0,0.06883812442890848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543410501360932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11246748898370912,0.0,0.0,0.10447784363293944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13520029921186952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10716313674169783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15466926231755282,0.13319894836726293,0.15884704430918614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14106855732563406,0.0,0.0,0.12827286617616862,0.0,0.0,0.14463498012870565,0.11655647846148268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501839286135318,0.11252537651876816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15412509292810936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09028500008987556,0.0,0.1118613013426503,0.0,0.0,0.1335596383256283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3355269037673094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26123712158660434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20515823132878502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09073695965313124
addiction,NZgirl22,2020/04/06,"How do I reach out to a coworker in recovery during this time to make sure she's okay without being offensive? One of my coworkers is a recovering addict. She lives alone and our work is closed due to Covid-19. She has anxiety and gets stressed a lot and I want to send her a message to see how she's doing and make sure she's okay, but I absolutely don't want to come off as offensive or like I think she will relapse (I absolutely don't!). We aren't super close, but we chat a lot whenever we work together. Any advice is much appreciated. Thanks!",2.4932432432432456,4.470391342342341,4.57863963963964,82.00633783783783,77.01801801801804,8.764324324324324,26.41531531531532,9.3871,2.407856936936937,433,17,90,12,10,149,70,111,0.04,0.696,0.264,0.9712,0,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,4,0,0,3,2,10,2,1,5,2,11,1,0,4,2,26,20,10,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,11,0,0,1,1,0,2,4,3,0,1,0,1,17,7,12,18,3,9,0,0,1,0,14,5,0,3,3,59,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248356436932878,0.0,0.20153856941007964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136058629122366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14025251890353374,0.0,0.15777556282146066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17766034411157464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10775361380734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10076006043852148,0.0,0.18211661572386484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3506813629590504,0.0,0.0,0.2753380134569689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15161255888173386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13975580020905673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16434921064221605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362510075705157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3887637459051521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898811243896841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13215238127445925,0.0,0.0,0.1202621289550094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24329528820972085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988111849620159,0.0,0.3002951628860398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,FreedomSteel,2020/04/06,"Try this... During a moment of impending doom,  get on the floor in the fetal position, focus on the breath, and say God help me over and over. See what happens.",2.272795698924732,4.475969612903229,3.6658064516129047,87.18537634408602,78.67741935483872,6.713978494623658,20.010752688172047,7.793537801064563,0.8246688172043011,122,3,24,2,3,40,26,31,0.078,0.7829999999999999,0.139,0.2732,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,6,3,0,7,1,1,1,0,2,6,0,0,1,15,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.290587825528893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4918395298797066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37280436565798897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.442306904777293,0.0,0.0,0.4432137174842332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3776184583260999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,lilwike,2020/04/06,There is still hope for me Hello everyone my name is jesse im a addict i gave away alot of clean time 3 years in fact but as of the 4/4/20 im doing loseing anything else my life is amazing my job my family my closest friends no one gave up on me and all want me to suceed i feel tired today but blessed at the same time anyone struggling with addiction if any kind there is a better life with n/a rooms closed we need a place to share an no were not alone id love to here some testimonys please stay clean an stay in contact with people going through the same situation together we  can stay clean an focused on what really matters in life,1.7108733371891276,3.8097938872180457,3.0390977443609053,91.49588201272415,80.05263157894737,6.498322729901678,22.26084441873916,7.61054688173877,0.8552838635049156,509,16,110,8,13,165,91,133,0.105,0.609,0.28600000000000003,0.9829,1,1,0,0,0,0,3.0,2,0,0,2,4,10,0,1,10,0,7,7,0,0,2,23,15,5,0,4,4,0,1,0,1,0,6,0,4,0,1,7,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,3,1,12,8,19,12,5,21,1,1,0,1,10,12,0,4,5,65,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3120077714541859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14821201870400974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09731525470139243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006126107755876,0.0,0.11776194793074342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344504039903604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265633742647918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11954457165328836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367414811111964,0.0,0.0,0.13490519882384122,0.0,0.07235740519428277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056137216230866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813289896879926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421340173503058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091525700364094,0.0,0.14200809505282486,0.0,0.0,0.1490202240814901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30323460101649324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16009615853168166,0.0,0.0,0.12915645271432205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061093965260558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697060273616663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09920991532897636,0.0,0.14951264949941848,0.15708461732140375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167573583277837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16085427603756394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4575877184759356,0.1142826017564292,0.0,0.0,0.14960279929765033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16688954753444465,0.16447636690003456,0.13564534000874626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08440612377187448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921539313658588
addiction,sgper18,2020/04/06,"A list of various online addiction meetings/resources: I put together a list of referrals, I am not a professional, please share and stay safe! 

“In The Rooms” (global)
https://www.intherooms.com/home/

“SMART recovery”
https://www.smartrecovery.org

Find a virtual NA meeting
https://www.na.org/meetingsearch/

Find a virtual AA meeting
http://aa-intergroup.org/.phpdirectory

“Recovery Dharma” (Buddhist approach)
https://recoverydharma.online

Women for Sobriety
https://wfsonline.org

“Life Ring”
https://www.lifering.org/online-meetings


***Sources from The NY Times article: “Online Help to Stay Sober During a Pandemic.” 
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2020/03/26/health/coronavirus-sobriety-online-help.amp.html",23.05522727272728,31.12761336111112,12.365505050505051,18.06636363636364,47.33333333333334,13.729292929292932,44.04545454545455,10.832165505486646,8.641483333333333,630,27,40,20,11,155,57,72,0.054000000000000006,0.815,0.131,0.7561,0,0,0,0,0,0,75.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,8,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,1,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,3,6,1,1,8,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,20,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24529334494695346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4875949557949296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4113088397897177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391743594342081,0.0,0.0,0.3016379758484594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15893071987773094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24699263766984175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.226196490176354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4796599415818867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13120472980724626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,name-kun,2020/04/06,"I feel like I'm addicted to my phone I'm sorry if this isn't the right subreddit for this, but I need advice.
I know I'm prone to being an addict because I used to be addicted to a different thing in the past and it's just my personality to get obsessed over things. 

I use my phone, especially YouTube all day. And yeah, this is normal today I guess, but I feel like I can't do without it.
I watch YouTube 6 or more hours a day.
I wake up, go on my phone first thing and immeditaly turn on YouTube. I am actually watching YouTube while watching this.
Every night I stay up till 2am because I just have to watch one more video. It's infurating and I don't knoe why.
I deleted YouTube off my old phone and I re-downloaded it a day later because I felt so lonely. So empty.
I can't delete YouTube off my current phone so I watch YT always.
I know it's dumb, but I get crazy attached to YouTubers, I fall in love with them, they feel like friends. Cutting out YT feels like loosing a part of my friend group.
It's gotten to the point where it's affecting my grades because I watch YouTube instead of studying or looking for a job.
I basically stopped doing all of my other hobbies, I don't even really game anymore. But if I do anything it's with YouTube on.

It's probably not an addiction or anything, but I really don't know how to stop doing that.
Has anyone else experienced that?",1.965295546558704,3.864070400000003,3.7558771929824566,87.65851214574901,78.33333333333333,6.770580296896088,27.10188933873145,7.748469712250963,1.5549622132253709,1084,46,231,17,26,364,142,285,0.09300000000000001,0.802,0.106,0.7582,3,2,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,2,1,9,11,2,1,10,1,16,6,1,4,2,41,38,21,0,4,14,0,5,4,2,0,4,0,0,1,19,8,0,2,8,2,0,2,8,4,0,2,2,13,38,7,29,34,5,32,0,1,7,1,13,14,1,6,19,145,57,2,0.0,0.0,0.09981150781665443,0.446005575907765,0.0,0.09994781548070568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.085105990700195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143527440179276,0.07151725767110713,0.10479897783888403,0.1683371063550052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24939820811114224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978883624637581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10686188205295316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08544265624919042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675556399450503,0.0,0.08617615904811034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20686539969473985,0.2922782849994743,0.09820580573400146,0.0,0.0,0.08700017160424718,0.0,0.0,0.1580441033073558,0.0,0.10687520846971542,0.0,0.05812865287734675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267405956703855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10072618814503308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10149811641294308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16863289834715994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19987733282045264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08589028505938721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09231260139222792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584007008264218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959837955921434,0.10021366974003487,0.0,0.0,0.1073267104660528,0.0,0.06930825683907313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11076036247886832,0.0976387937334424,0.0,0.08930782943181349,0.0,0.0,0.09668861098050638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11027622389346316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13104766322421646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08734742042160352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144952125463232,0.0,0.10901794366423724,0.0,0.17102300200923887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20385286708957034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695043445206117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11125236399076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17667589933973407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229269928230836,0.0,0.0,0.09859524004882714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,PullUpz,2020/04/06,"Thoughts on Narcotics Anonymous/ AA? I was wondering what people think about these groups for addiction and alcohol recovery?
Are they cults?",7.285303030303034,11.434683590909092,4.9700000000000015,72.49166666666669,76.72727272727272,10.206060606060607,39.15151515151515,9.725611199111238,5.7665878787878775,117,7,15,4,3,33,22,22,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,2,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,10,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.48616747889325895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4766007642663711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091758528443221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857562483357377,0.0,0.35404625102518755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4836298219272294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,poodleshnoot,2020/04/06,"Is sobriety worth this initial, painstakingly excruciating boredom? I know that sounds dramatic, and yes I have started a few projects around my place. I’ve went outside. Gotten fresh air. I just can’t help but think of how much better each activity would be with a beer in my hand... looking for some encouraging words here to get me through- because I’m still not convinced this is the way to go!!!",4.976936936936936,7.067695162162168,5.006486486486487,81.13558558558559,70.35135135135134,8.176576576576577,32.6036036036036,8.841846274778883,2.7779441441441453,318,15,59,6,6,99,65,74,0.08900000000000001,0.71,0.201,0.8376,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,3,1,6,2,1,1,0,13,15,3,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,4,1,0,2,1,1,2,2,0,0,0,2,3,6,3,8,11,4,9,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,1,2,37,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2939093282406732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20126036949613685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2919966400651476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17249317153879426,0.0,0.1876355767751776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212969771834468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18144540645846294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772483513510617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427030537776824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3449433262559048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23368650657896686,0.0,0.26366344864482466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21155098717331974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620629031936741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3060584310956879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23453374165263174,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,711love711,2020/04/06,"I'm not sure if this is the right sub for this I'm scared about my choices. I have been smoking weed for a long time but lately I've found myself smoking pretty much all day to try and avoid my mental health problems. Which isn't good but manageable but I've also dabbled in abusing my prescribed adhd meds, and now I've obtained valium. I'm worried I'm going down a bad path but idk how to stop",3.2885714285714265,4.205258333333337,4.479523809523811,87.88214285714287,72.80952380952381,6.552380952380951,25.904761904761905,6.42735559955562,0.90127619047619,316,10,66,2,6,104,60,84,0.303,0.652,0.045,-0.9703,0,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,4,6,0,2,3,0,4,1,0,1,2,15,10,9,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,2,0,5,2,7,8,2,10,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,6,35,8,1,0.0,0.26555818130335085,0.0,0.0,0.26936149744216503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17923720736692425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871397386769461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14454573346304506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457476994910749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12737861884496082,0.18799016331955284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23824041014786965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528291462770745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19834858061161692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489586359821438,0.0,0.2258709886078745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647618234824283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280214570629563,0.0,0.21446277156410645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914063585208244,0.0,0.0,0.22439388999525645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18738326718685647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112404940317559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13069238992241253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152170005427483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276155642083775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,WestieSeven,2020/04/06,"Back to day 1 After a cocaine binge I’m back to day one of rehab. How do you stay motivated after a relapse? 
I feel crap. Also told my ex of 6 years who I thought was now a friend about my struggle (no one knows) and his response was ‘you need a slap’. I feel weak.",0.6113793103448302,1.9239166896551725,2.971931034482761,94.41617241379312,80.3793103448276,5.329655172413793,21.944827586206884,5.6839178017228535,-0.022721379310345124,200,6,49,1,5,69,42,58,0.13699999999999998,0.754,0.109,-0.1531,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,1,6,4,1,1,4,0,3,3,1,2,0,8,10,3,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,4,2,8,1,7,6,0,9,0,0,0,0,7,0,1,0,8,32,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22041639820578274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4238756566186844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3555093321747083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2787275329631873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21294640417992788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514757318916716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20437168965987887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37353988576611696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937784910486918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2881420295590953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21881465359553687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633705256671334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17749280722199146
addiction,boxinglover69,2020/04/06,"Game addiction Im addicted to this game i keep telling myself not to play but end up playing anyway and after ive spent a few hours playing i feel so pathetic. The other things i do is boxing and business study. I need help, i feel like im always letting myself down, i got over my weed addiction but now ive got a new addiction",1.2463975155279527,3.353548173913044,3.645590062111804,86.48217391304352,81.7536231884058,6.8414078674948255,24.349896480331264,7.957251820313856,1.5432592132505176,260,10,53,5,7,90,47,69,0.10099999999999999,0.737,0.162,0.4926,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,5,4,0,0,0,9,12,5,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,2,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,11,4,6,8,1,8,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,6,35,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7325700879713252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13978772118988475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14879628600775555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16988958461355472,0.12001774222126108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26872655497395154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260545947067226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16544410316000818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3629331480632504,0.0,0.0,0.1493242636226362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17178924768608786,0.0,0.08207529412033275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456832338724436,0.0,0.16225343070466733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468375802883092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11161034812406062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,space6a6e,2020/04/06,"any advice ? So it took about a year now to realize that i have an extremely addictive personality, sometimes i can’t do anything but obbessive and have compulsive thoughts about feeling good, going out, or eating. i tend to lie alot and manipulate which i would love to stop because i want a positive life but its just so hard to stop lying... i feel rage when im not able to get high or feel excitment. i obbessive or doing risky things and drive recklessly fast. i like the feeling of pleasure alittle more than most people. i have impulsive thoughts about suicide immediately when things go wrong but 30 minutes later i’ll be fine if im distracted. life feels so slowed down like im living on hell sometimes whenever i’m alone away from interaction or the aderanline rush i feel depressed and like i have no purpose to be here.. i get tired of people really easily. i’m always super desperate for change and excitment. does anyone know anything or any good advice ? please dont be mediocre ..💓",4.513108288770051,6.759220695187171,5.248338903743316,78.25133188502677,71.99465240641712,8.739171122994652,30.40407754010695,9.354420925462401,3.0071179144385027,798,35,141,19,16,258,120,187,0.214,0.5670000000000001,0.21899999999999997,-0.158,1,1,0,0,0,1,19.0,0,0,0,2,11,16,2,1,6,0,12,6,0,1,0,34,31,19,1,3,11,0,7,3,0,1,4,0,0,1,6,6,1,2,10,0,0,5,4,5,0,0,3,7,12,11,18,24,3,19,1,1,0,1,3,5,1,8,12,80,18,0,0.11664756911369792,0.0,0.0,0.1271630681618067,0.0,0.2279733090193481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12081170253558507,0.0,0.0,0.09706012194452984,0.0,0.0,0.15864869402580034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156269251537089,0.0,0.19198202072711032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959423098548764,0.0,0.0,0.07110727544811728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12339766120659068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046838035227064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10207907380549372,0.0,0.13671008225549086,0.0,0.0,0.1193595843008668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3538830948670693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12188708082207728,0.0,0.13258700334319928,0.19567689333227672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10449331000830972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324456116457365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37799817439845584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06410645338741254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16478325548691505,0.17096433051794604,0.0,0.10300194060992984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10527898535027436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161737474249524,0.10185215804359618,0.0,0.12804400227925794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472741970594897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307348570481326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19504518182288505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275935079438085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15499092348000354,0.0,0.0,0.1852102804327346,0.0,0.13406922114558,0.0,0.0,0.12959974130600413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06880175849756237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828630863161134,0.12753580518365276,0.0,0.07511721006844134
addiction,_maybe__not,2020/04/06,"Struggling with blaming my boyfriend for his addiction My boyfriend had/has a weed addiction. He’s managed to quit for the last three weeks and of course I’m really happy about this. 

The problem is that I still feel resentful towards him for getting addicted and the way he treated me while addicted. I know that blaming people for their addiction is wrong, and I even semi-understand why my boyfriend got addicted in the first place, he was struggling to deal with something horrible that happened to him a couple of years ago. I’m not trying to bash anyone with an addiction here, I just genuinely need some advice/insight into how addiction works.

I’m resentful that I can’t occasionally get stoned with him now and that we can’t have sex while stoned sometimes like we used to, which was great. It feels like he’s ruined something that was fun for us and for me, I don’t have any friends who smoke so he was the only person I could get stoned with. 

I’m resentful about how he lied to me. I’ve never felt like I couldn’t trust him before this, it‘s a strange feeling. He lied about how often he was smoking, and I thought he was getting better a couple of times only to find out he’d been lying to me and was still smoking every night. He would also lie about if he was stoned or not, I couldn’t even tell if he was anymore.

I’m resentful about how he messed with my head. When I first brought up how I was worried about his smoking, he made it seem like there was no problem at all and that I was being controlling. I was so sure I was right but then I really started doubting myself and didn’t bring it up again for a while.

I’m resentful about how he pressured me into smoking with him, and how he guilt tripped me into giving back his weed even when he was trying to quit. 

I’m resentful about the person he became while addicted. He became boring, unmotivated and his only hobby was smoking weed. I love him, but I really didn’t love who he was becoming. 

I’m resentful about how it affected our sex life. He couldn’t get it up properly without being stoned, I think he had just gotten used to feeling of being stoned and jerking off loads. One time (that I know of), he told me he wasn’t stoned and we had sex. I was really happy because he kept his boner, but turns out he lied to me and he was actually stoned. For some reason I felt a bit violated by this. 

I know that this is an unhelpful, bad mindset and the things I mentioned above are because of his addiction, not him, but I’m struggling to deal with these feelings. I don’t want to bring this up to him because I don’t want him to feel guilty. Any advice would be appreciated greatly.",5.291597639915222,5.7061652079395095,5.874672624162228,81.49581142235206,67.99810964083176,8.983009680930287,30.39703270894197,8.927757054556999,2.328442470069314,2101,76,418,34,33,682,206,529,0.157,0.748,0.095,-0.9827,0,0,3,0,0,0,49.0,5,0,1,7,35,38,9,6,15,0,47,18,1,14,3,92,94,40,0,13,13,0,8,4,1,2,11,0,0,2,25,31,0,2,16,0,0,4,17,22,0,4,34,8,61,16,61,49,4,43,0,1,0,6,62,15,0,8,27,273,86,2,0.0,0.0,0.05956656080863485,0.6654297395021206,0.0,0.059647907929192376,0.05410857312678872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04881393304544625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08301904056263379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0605356092996199,0.04268082079030555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04693624904999511,0.05096612923240902,0.11162886314902032,0.06741425320601427,0.051940828399808604,0.0,0.0,0.05398521503166866,0.06664023541861364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06846192494442398,0.04873573980073046,0.13507993712757194,0.0,0.0,0.12585980816105025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12094969476300098,0.0,0.05142911404187133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185182961559216,0.043607226805063036,0.11721658608265792,0.0,0.05578975943586654,0.1038417538335463,0.0,0.0,0.04715961063025311,0.0,0.15945527583705568,0.058555450426994976,0.0,0.0,0.048819531239342184,0.13459436744961695,0.0,0.0,0.0539777657661976,0.1299571411638994,0.0,0.0,0.06264499281938843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10063851366902568,0.04975601915374335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043114593080376386,0.11928489570148156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11018256921504796,0.057757839923043765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04526063422072703,0.047078068596977836,0.0,0.0,0.05728221847209671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04136251005373814,0.13927177376627714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042317681899844535,0.10659613042434488,0.06377415725574558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11681471191904982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12984781762155806,0.0,0.0,0.15641600394643632,0.06275962960387223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052128111716118926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05556882755774479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09398366254610906,0.06037045112195274,0.0,0.0432046625771115,0.0,0.09749377916065366,0.0,0.0,0.1914378311183336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057529792411036874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05335194237643836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040552485610546384,0.039112181325666566,0.0,0.04845920692344762,0.07118621925593857,0.0,0.0,0.0583266549617457,0.0,0.08288475998464016,0.06639435521736728,0.0,0.06354514039558141,0.07342400610226803,0.1054385003457938,0.0,0.0,0.07200634098583591,0.04845097593444021,0.04896287403751988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05507940721716413,0.0,0.0,0.05884070374528951,0.0,0.04443809013787832,0.061989422143940175,0.0,0.0867226038797862,0.0667380229553479,0.0,0.039307973809161366
addiction,maaxipado,2020/04/06,"why do I keep snorting cocaine high on cocaine right now and I just don't want to feel alone with this problem, gonna make this quick and hopefuly i have some answers.

im 19 about to turn 20 this month and im wondering if I have permanent damage to my brain or nose.

\- in a period of 6 months i snorted about 8000-10000 dollars of cocaine (had the money cause I worked at a car dealership then quit and went broke so I ended up quitting) (1-4 GRAMS A DAY for 6 days a week, my 1 day was to recover to eat,sleep, and let my nose heal because it burned so bad.)

\- my nose is still red on the inside and i still blow out white stretchy mucus after being sober for 3 months but i do it about once a month now so im not sober i guess. WHEN will my nose fully heal?

i thought i was clean, i get random mood swings where I feel really sad when i wake up but sometimes I get a rush of energy in the middle of the day that started sad and heavy and later on the day i feel great for no reason or I just feel sad or energetic all day for an entire week then it switches. IS THIS normal? i think it is but just want to know for sure.

last question, why do I keep doing it? I have so much regret when i finish my come down which is so awful but im a dog when it comes to cocaine. I got offered a free half gram and my heart started racing and my mouth started salivating and I rushed for a 30 minute drive to it so excited when I haven't thought about it in weeks. WHEN WILL that feeling go away when offered free coke?

is my brain damaged temporarily or permanent or am I in placebo?

​

hopefully this wasn't too hard to read thx for reading if you did",1.609487179487182,3.1293120427350485,3.2271310541310565,92.76462820512823,78.14529914529916,6.275441595441595,22.526210826210818,7.0316486544052195,0.518220056980057,1281,38,294,14,30,424,179,351,0.11,0.772,0.11800000000000001,0.7226,0,1,6,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,3,27,16,0,0,15,1,24,13,10,3,2,58,53,37,0,8,15,0,6,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,16,15,1,2,13,2,4,8,5,9,0,1,9,15,36,8,39,39,3,61,0,7,2,0,4,17,0,13,36,183,52,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925598376494386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09683180344212072,0.10859371049487654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08396557630121873,0.0,0.07461978992418816,0.05447881068668008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19953181084129812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09180708263914128,0.0,0.1539678020398449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34581556034134353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09144729784383722,0.0,0.0,0.07915484053373507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259394931693305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09338373829416408,0.0,0.050790739830263186,0.0,0.07147694400461864,0.09853017656364292,0.09845056717836408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800575077316931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10590327415947356,0.0,0.0944237713164349,0.0,0.08876406708068724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3861375338072039,0.0,0.0,0.1588714153020072,0.0,0.0,0.04911513366076803,0.07284806110712598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09138635695042716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05965482753337863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853354923163313,0.0,0.06569685702622786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08756312378237859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09517558853863343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551453087309575,0.0,0.0,0.10011428027850576,0.19011090343650533,0.17878734628816267,0.0,0.05725238276405192,0.09188671863632226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07632105486496149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08943403006705801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838870928977656,0.0,0.1897685518090762,0.0,0.14274117790481666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842296852585761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05726435964342595,0.0,0.14189878238667678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720834038386117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10542487959151936,0.0,0.21506043894977145,0.0,0.0,0.08284641118600522,0.1612841256573227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691739802164566,0.06506205200712048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859371049487654,0.0
addiction,Heiesenbergg,2020/04/06,"Always had the feeling i knew it. Has anybody else here knew that they were an addict from a young age? As a kid growing up i was always looking for something to sink my desires into (still no reason why). I always wanted to smoke as a kid, ended up having my first cigarette in grade 5 luckily that never lasted too long. Then weed in grade 10, fully letting it take over my life for 7+ years, also picking up alcohol, ketamine, mdma, cocaine, speed, N20, psychedelics of all sorts, kratom, and damn near any prescription pill that can get you high. Why is it that i always feel the need to use something.  Even before i ever knew what a drug ways it was always an urge of mine to have a substance crutch",5.932608695652174,5.875572514492752,6.1867753623188415,81.430597826087,66.6086956521739,8.059420289855073,29.568840579710145,7.1686216300943375,1.7034753623188408,549,17,104,4,8,176,100,138,0.037000000000000005,0.914,0.049,0.1531,0,0,7,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,1,1,6,1,1,0,9,0,10,5,0,3,3,17,21,5,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,9,2,1,0,6,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,7,3,11,0,19,13,1,23,0,0,1,0,4,9,1,1,12,70,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16519107485830944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16194047513560506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12117922583189747,0.6304293416974627,0.0,0.0,0.10304622509438778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289416562418014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17572776490648126,0.0,0.12658464366348368,0.0,0.1342114226291352,0.0,0.0,0.10008474672138748,0.13706839680881094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15323717716764498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12889212724223925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07916865401014289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16010074169735514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351792829138054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15495063716265733,0.10703077350217094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13410010006553422,0.1272478128101335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235826071261512,0.11686999080634285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15579902815479732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23331181811514035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101279230168603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11393239720832615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13087406655886624,0.0,0.0,0.0893768654896906,0.1202781949380962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734661810447345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758094744752463
addiction,DrewCarey420,2020/04/06,I don't wanna be old enough to see my parents die. I couldn't handle it. I've lit a fire and I'm just gonna keep going till I burn out. I love you Mum & Dad,-3.18225,-1.7126647249999962,0.5100000000000016,105.65500000000002,96.25,3.2,10.5,3.1291,-2.15615,121,1,36,0,5,44,34,40,0.168,0.72,0.11199999999999999,-0.2732,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,6,9,2,1,2,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,6,1,4,6,1,4,0,0,2,1,5,1,0,0,2,18,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3780198674932262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36209053262353097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36049443914502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19828101985103874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3101075742993038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3148849292581239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3660991362275218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3873986978029368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780184662203572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,KENYX21,2020/04/06,"Im going for it I guess I write this more for me than for anyone else to make a promise I feel bound to and I have to keep.

Ladys and gentlemen Im going for soberty (is that even a word?)

So I had this long depressive phase where I didnt really think about staying sober but now, after I have thought over it literally the whole night (I could not sleep one hour)  Im ready to give it another try.

Im an addict for 10+ years now and even if some people would say what Im addicted to is not that bad Im still addicted to a point where even thinking about staying sober for 3 days makes me feel powerless.

So my first goal is today. And my first bigfer goal is a whole week.

Its five in the morning and I havent slept. Still, I feel like this could become the one try...

Just wanted to add that I look up to everyone whos still fighting his addiction and has not given up.
I know how much strenght it takes.

Have a great day ^^

Ps: Ill keep you up to date if you want",1.2856623931623936,2.783607096153851,2.9291666666666667,94.64361111111113,79.0,6.545299145299146,20.20940170940171,7.3871296695380915,0.2799735042735043,748,18,180,10,18,247,119,208,0.064,0.8420000000000001,0.094,0.7162,1,0,0,0,2,0,22.0,0,2,0,4,16,6,1,0,9,0,14,7,2,3,0,36,36,12,0,7,7,0,3,1,0,1,5,1,0,0,12,7,0,3,7,0,0,2,5,3,0,5,5,5,19,3,24,28,5,29,0,1,1,0,8,8,0,4,18,114,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.390280535122061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938504034180897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06258171444949431,0.09170513410725406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07473023449781252,0.0,0.0988476666063312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14291975155205694,0.0,0.0,0.1154424670432904,0.0,0.07708773823551839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476723925550316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17734521314854584,0.0,0.0,0.08552277107190137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576434340553806,0.06394007812681647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15226030957262554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08585824757419071,0.10173183016701584,0.0,0.0,0.09867601084367453,0.09859628362873384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814120884035452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5800635825791619,0.0,0.0,0.15910656050600674,0.0,0.0,0.0491878288533058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043726041010342005,0.0,0.0,0.07920624473566402,0.0751589402140037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948624500350867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06579409478808826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399134255329396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12129742330003802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06204925387522394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08460809656219329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05733712187963744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07117539511722662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956640116229024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19079394379582446,0.2144286731742024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06729418794015438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11469823297192433,0.0,0.07105440321852924,0.0,0.0,0.08483720716104162,0.0,0.0,0.1215316454914992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10558091870510723,0.0,0.07179291646468572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998510465585003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0635794852562222,0.0,0.0,0.05763620162318641
addiction,BobXenon,2020/04/06,"Quit CT, on day 10, whew! I am lying in bed and have been reading incessantly for a couple of days, mainly poetry. 11 days ago I would not have been reading this poem let alone applying the mask as addiction and having my entire body tingle & tear up when I read it! What u think? Here you go.... ;) We Wear The Mask

  by Laurence Paul Dunbar


We wear the mask that grins and lies,

It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—

This debt we pay to human guile;

With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,

And mouth with myriad subtleties.


Why should the world be over-wise,

In counting all our tears and sighs?

Nay, let them only see us, while

       We wear the mask.


We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries

To thee from tortured souls arise.

We sing, but oh the clay is vile

Beneath our feet, and long the mile;

But let the world dream otherwise,

       We wear the mask!",2.497205588822357,4.462512173652693,2.742419161676647,95.23047504990022,76.96407185628745,5.890459081836327,18.318962075848304,6.742157984588678,-0.1863809181636724,651,12,143,6,15,198,117,167,0.151,0.7709999999999999,0.078,-0.9124,1,1,0,0,0,0,35.0,14,2,1,1,2,5,2,0,10,0,13,12,9,0,1,26,16,14,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,1,6,18,0,0,1,5,2,1,1,2,1,0,2,1,21,2,14,8,2,16,2,0,1,0,18,8,0,0,7,81,27,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17391464201147422,0.0,0.0,0.1414164797043482,0.0,0.0,0.16522819322460794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17285406214753685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772053252631191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765203560487941,0.17523963440882115,0.3086569816628354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090666345013262,0.0,0.0,0.17588582116329018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18904750797222533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4894002526717836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411817854966098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213321218805547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16968310384294524,0.4787288571718008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12712723687486513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022223776567397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19189869310437616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14395382141388022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332774681321438,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,lookingforsomeone3,2020/04/06,My porn addiction and weird fetishes My porn addiction has gotten very bad to the point I believe I will never see women the same again. It has ruined my views and everything. Because I do it so often I find my self looking a weirder and weirder fetishes and then this turns the problem worse. Everytime i say it's my last and I need a break I cant resist.  Any tips getting off and getting rid of fetishes?,3.1375661375661363,5.089083814814816,4.364832451499119,84.37888888888891,75.04938271604938,6.603880070546737,30.08994708994709,7.447530270364453,1.9949280423280409,323,15,60,4,7,106,54,81,0.21600000000000005,0.784,0.0,-0.9371,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,5,0,5,4,0,0,1,12,12,8,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,2,4,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,4,12,0,3,10,1,7,0,1,3,2,3,2,0,1,4,41,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4891106310421803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15255365408107366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18730809693967285,0.13675088557105414,0.0,0.0,0.2527456772075209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016154027719348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050356545815395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344087315545016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18286076261516915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883826292542915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16633955510939824,0.1730188964573735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120665304913019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146557107009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17839804595725234,0.0,0.0,0.1787637956510058,0.0,0.2340275099661573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440091195976799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850976383228402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286137750463396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,hunts-tomato,2020/04/06,"How I overcame my PMO(Porn, Masturbation and Orgasm) addiction in 30 days I'm in my early 20s and I used to be addicted to PMO (At least 1 - 2 sessions everyday. Could end up with 5 sessions in a single day. Of course, after each session I would feel sleepy and lazy. I could not even control my urges before and during big moments like examinations and approaching deadlines).

I have stopped for the past month and haven't had an urge strong enough to make me relapse at all. Even if I felt the urge, I was never overwhelmed by it and I had it under control with minimal effort. This was the first time where I felt like I was not even trying to suppress my excessive horniness. It just went away. I don't even think about it anymore. I don't even entertain dirty thoughts in my head. I'm confident in my ability to maintain this lifestyle for the rest of my life.

\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_

What worked for me:

*1) Cleaning up my diet.*

I have cut out **all** added oils in my diet and began consuming a salad before every meal. Plus I only have animal products (fish and eggs) for one meal every two days. But I ensure that I meet my daily requirement for healthy fats. As a result I have gotten a lot leaner.

2) *Not having my phone next to me at bed time*

This one's a no-brainer.

3) *Supplementation.*

I began taking Omega 3 (vegan), Zinc Picolinate, Ashwagandha & Bacopa monnieri extract. I'm not sure if it is a placebo, but I'm fairly certain that Bacopa and Ashwagandha give me a mental clarity that aid me in suppressing my desires. I take Omega 3 and Zinc since I follow a primarily plant based diet.

4) *I do heavy resistance workouts 6 times a week and play basketball at least twice a week.*

This probably helps me feel tired enough to drain my body of its ability to feel horny all the time.

5) *Improving my posture*

This could be a result of point 4, but I used to hunch a lot when I walk. Now, I maintain a more neutral thoracic spine and appear and feel more confident and masculine as a whole. This was a product of strengthening the muscles around my neck and upper back.

6) *Adopting a more conservative view*

This one is probably a little controversial, especially here on reddit. But I began to value and respect modesty and the sanctity of sex and females in general. I began to view immodestly dressed women as distractions more than anything else. This by no means mean that I do not respect them. I simply think of them as tests that I have to pass with my newfound will power :)

\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_

Now, I did not isolate the individual factors to see which was the most effective at curbing my addiction. But I don't want to. I'd like to attribute my success to my general sense of well being.

I have tried at least 5 unsuccessful attempts in the past where I would relapse within 2 weeks. My past attempts were unsuccessful as I felt like I was simply trying to not do it instead of tackling it from a different angle (eg. well being and mental health). Once I did relapse, I will go at it for 3 to 4 times in a row and end up feeling depressed.

I have used this quarantine period as an opportunity to better myself. I understand that staying at home all day could breed negative thoughts. But it doesn't have to!

If negative reinforcement does not work for you, try approaching the problem from another angle. You could have been fighting the wrong battle all along. Focus on something else. All of us are built differently and we respond to different stimuli differently. You don't have to go cold turkey either. It started with me doing it less frequently until I just did not feel like doing it anymore.

Good luck!

P.S. Feel free to ask me anything!",2.1743828339293785,4.90869070028819,3.891713134960593,82.05360803444326,83.63976945244956,6.8027915697371615,25.652512065553278,7.986249989870231,2.0072988646227565,2862,120,516,60,83,954,324,694,0.078,0.779,0.14300000000000002,0.9936,5,1,1,0,2,0,309.0,2,3,2,15,20,28,3,2,33,0,51,20,6,11,9,114,93,41,0,13,21,0,10,5,0,4,7,0,3,1,30,32,8,8,19,3,1,9,19,8,2,6,24,15,76,21,88,56,24,82,0,2,3,2,15,34,0,8,43,370,106,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173936481022751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07202264038828735,0.0,0.0,0.06970193570648807,0.0,0.0,0.13184519380999146,0.0,0.0,0.10940197354263057,0.05917438334550727,0.06214256795952965,0.0,0.06245285424796105,0.051113046720002935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11312595456220627,0.0,0.0,0.05878929130369809,0.0,0.07383566956859618,0.0,0.07420499953218598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14910853078601696,0.26536335942772804,0.0,0.0,0.1714763735176192,0.0,0.057252439825048275,0.0,0.0,0.27779735665452177,0.0,0.0,0.05817030203885045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11105804799415897,0.0,0.11774934292452904,0.13736717873953733,0.0,0.21952142620111392,0.0,0.11201145221427966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23527252000508944,0.04748777897958558,0.1914713136030657,0.0,0.0,0.05654125034072838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06376622618901248,0.07555540762052737,0.055753758154444916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06821969180666734,0.07065687893159325,0.0,0.0,0.04455493889711483,0.0,0.0666770729432322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046951306400387,0.16237488536009087,0.06662264377502512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11302463666769864,0.0,0.0,0.04437073397512396,0.0,0.0,0.14481550492850692,0.0,0.0,0.13397675974718412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053057504927597934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05126748660979934,0.0,0.07069397754279286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707907623672311,0.13512992313774566,0.05055513115041691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19036581345707834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06283774914162613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14333662720008072,0.06360495298146006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05296976623656111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05498652087101685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05117357513506677,0.0,0.0,0.047049391068161896,0.07085055961027721,0.0,0.055573766076084406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264929615839646,0.0,0.09995769843054003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851854501321822,0.0,0.10554306139181037,0.19380247805771025,0.0764000573027545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805211407054942,0.0,0.06493371618774119,0.06919994238160873,0.0799579159015775,0.17223200948123588,0.0,0.0,0.039207047276244536,0.0,0.15996005553573095,0.0,0.11953304707087847,0.06162042911734456,0.0,0.07421387810150815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967851595872386,0.0,0.0,0.09443993914098854,0.07267695553779413,0.0,0.0
addiction,throwaway456623,2020/04/06,"I have an addiction to psychic readings Every since I was 12, I discovered a way to ease my anxiety and have my own (kind of) therapist -- psychic readings. 

I've spent upwards of $15,000-$20,000 since the age of 12 on psychic readings (currently 21) and although it does ease my anxiety and, in the past, helped with my depression (during middle school and high school), I now have this dependency on psychic readings every time I feel stress or anxiety. I get at least 1-5 readings/day. 

I used to justify this as a ""medical expense"" (obviously it's not) but I'm now realizing that it's detrimental to my finances and mental health because of my dependency on these readings. 

What is your advice on stopping this addiction?",7.209868421052632,7.795709037593987,7.839614661654139,68.46739191729327,63.88721804511279,11.462030075187972,41.43703007518797,11.20814326018867,5.1149255639097735,574,33,95,16,8,191,80,133,0.08199999999999999,0.889,0.027999999999999997,-0.5719,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,1,5,0,5,4,0,3,1,16,10,9,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,9,6,0,1,2,5,3,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,14,1,16,8,2,16,0,1,0,0,2,8,0,3,7,62,23,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808126486747374,0.0,0.12585766775344134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29558507470782625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851266349291834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08306257172122036,0.0,0.11093154798248156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127099853123638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170318649103148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06512297597312026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06729043758469072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13690380671014166,0.0,0.0,0.0863290430455932,0.13607972879099764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13412090229480308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12974811810446646,0.12979577287752406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122950069518254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.644152771462135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606962496504008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21308226852977735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767897257959633,0.14753503959197314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495417350303329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510180861978517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123813228030596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10223203198887656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,drphilsleftnipple,2020/04/06,"Going through withdrawls not knowing I was dependent in the first place I was prescribed adderall XR in my sophmore year of highschool age 16 (i think) and am now 21 years old, and am currently prescribed the highest dose of the XR, i have gone a day or two (also had the flu recently and didnt take it at all during the 9 days in bed) without it before and often enjoy taking breaks from it as it can drain you, but since i am quarantined i decided to completely take a break from it not thinking anything of it. big mistake because i am now on day 9 (maybe? ive lost track at this point) of absolute misery. ive had to take xanax in the mornings due to my anxiety being so bad i thought i was having a heart attack/stroke. but even after all of this, i still want to go back on my adderall when i feel better. im terrified of not being on it because i have absolutely no motivation to do anything and my only joy in life is getting up and making art/enjoying my hobbies and i don’t feel like doing any of it when im off my adderall... i took a 2 months break from adderall 2 years ago and didn’t have any withdrawls but the whole 2 months did not go near my art/hobbies. does anyone have any advice on how to get motivation back after going off this shit? my parents will 100% not let me continue taking adderall after this (as im home going through this right now)",7.388623626373626,5.357929867857145,7.9814285714285695,76.20203296703299,64.60714285714286,10.615384615384617,36.53846153846154,9.057496981413335,3.1049807692307687,1073,42,217,14,13,360,146,280,0.122,0.799,0.079,-0.9352,2,1,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,5,13,8,1,0,11,0,28,6,2,5,2,35,51,19,0,2,10,1,2,1,0,1,4,0,2,0,13,8,0,0,9,0,0,7,10,4,0,2,12,2,26,4,39,35,3,56,0,1,0,0,2,19,1,3,28,151,39,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10348811180063737,0.09387745957100983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469134854541356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21605494768214809,0.0,0.08101622995771443,0.0,0.0,0.07405050247417645,0.0,0.17429985036566972,0.0,0.0,0.12048102905971456,0.0,0.16286719711794664,0.08842537254299795,0.12911612684955048,0.0,0.09011645911937173,0.0,0.0,0.0936634353615698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103827403595624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20489785474748887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267725812228207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06994855851298303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10709643581667616,0.0756578012471999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09008184363362136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106608830781846,0.0,0.3009382695789176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12549668768283628,0.0,0.0,0.10623029421217492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3431833094922903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058202039912802685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10829396152011248,0.07480309006373884,0.05173931932841822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560666895924455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07069170730695656,0.0,0.10639474971135726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16906304100725347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11112837792887686,0.0,0.0,0.0805447242805068,0.0,0.0,0.11759380080002255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11064708462044777,0.0,0.1001134615586531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10456737179858586,0.0,0.0,0.0904413925068046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087088802174848,0.08760483974461733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08457502926692326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3981329430165813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13571794667475398,0.0,0.08407590472103704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11766318237255716,0.0,0.0,0.10345276825193568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06246489210604826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11823797532416885,0.0,0.10208762618882268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045960099580359
addiction,yacdagawd,2020/04/06,"Cannabis and depression Hi people of r/addict, I hope everything is going as good as it can and that you keep thinking and smiling about life!

I felt quite bad for the last three months and i fon't really know how to translate it. I used to be a heavy cannabis consumer and smoke everyday, spending too much money on it and lying to my parents about the money they gave me. Im 22 atm, turning 23 in october and i feel like a fkn child. Dont have any motivation since i quit it and i dont know how to get up and get out of depression. As you can see my plea is not even structured, if anyone wants to share advices, tips or even experiences im up for it.

Good luck, life can be hard but i know it can be awesome (well, i hope)",0.7655921052631598,2.8634041118421076,2.632105263157893,93.11223684210528,83.53947368421052,5.905263157894738,22.0,7.1686216300943375,0.6209000000000002,563,19,127,8,16,187,95,152,0.078,0.797,0.125,0.7979999999999999,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,1,3,8,11,0,0,4,0,12,2,0,4,0,29,29,17,0,4,4,1,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,7,10,0,1,7,0,4,1,3,3,1,1,2,4,15,8,19,24,1,9,0,2,1,0,8,5,0,5,4,78,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539481820451935,0.0,0.13799634196344765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603290633896386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09874272787658148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11791091493867265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432612665271092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3310122810767933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865459719470576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269173997012227,0.13813804810878005,0.0,0.0,0.07140393289083781,0.10088598227808084,0.1355911771126335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475608820910017,0.0,0.08025729648773962,0.2368934819850705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12650335780822008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28052216104588323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30507878640255626,0.0,0.0,0.1255208166284938,0.0,0.0,0.2328287316203951,0.11511130687149287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199492533330668,0.06899185499446364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11271865344862553,0.0,0.10381128824441632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15680558921823431,0.0,0.0,0.09790260053183417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30040490045322066,0.0,0.0,0.09046770087381613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11253225593290156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11681677453290612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904866262126108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536043503469524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121966786891366,0.0,0.0,0.08329388237734768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269717085907698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,cleanqqueen,2020/04/06,"I need help I really don’t know where to start. I’ve been to treatment twice now. I am successful according to social standards (working on my master’s degree). But I am beside myself.

Treatment (rehab in Minnesota and then again in Canada) taught me how to recover from myself, my fears, etc.

It clearly didn’t last. I am so scared. I feel like it will never last and I will simply die by the wayside, which I weirdly feel ok about. I don’t wait to die, but I am so sad. COVID has really made an impression upon me. I am so scared. 

This might sound insane to many, but I miss rehab so much. I miss having that structure, tough love, and consistent encounters.",1.4534871794871798,3.942846092307697,3.220769230769232,87.40756410256414,84.23076923076924,6.235897435897436,20.2051282051282,7.554174236665415,0.9199897435897436,512,15,99,9,15,170,84,130,0.214,0.659,0.127,-0.907,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,3,9,13,0,3,2,1,14,3,0,2,2,17,25,12,2,1,3,0,2,1,0,3,2,1,0,0,5,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,8,0,1,4,3,19,5,13,18,2,12,0,3,0,1,3,5,0,1,8,72,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4129241990428123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22186401210766726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238560733699653,0.2011740301572833,0.1421184997770761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13334127663539158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10932893184863944,0.3243155465317716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971891109869389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179545715076387,0.18823617463503653,0.0,0.20168786687323084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110375522058948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14623939036996927,0.14750705114001614,0.15343017595028413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548844474949708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3983353058623069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027881755305684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080651943959346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14482633191938007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,OGKebabEater,2020/04/06,"Get Clean on the beaches of Reddit Nation  

Hello all,

If you are interested in joining a (hopefully) newly formed island nation then this is the place to be.

the subbreddit is reddit.com/[r/theredditnation](https://www.reddit.com/r/theredditnation/)

I have prepared a plan that explains how we will go about doing such a task. More detailed elaborations for each component of the plan will be given at request.

Obviously the first question is where we would have our island. I have identified places of interest. One place of interest is the Nation of Belize. Belize is a small nation with a low GDP of 2 Billion and they are selling off most of their island. Islands with 50-100 acres can be acquired for around 500,000; give or take 50,000. From the people (Government Officials) I have contacted, they are perfectly okay with this plan.

Now here is a 5 step proposal of how this will come to fruition (I will expand on how we will finance this)

1. Acquire the island
2. Set up the initial infrastructure  

   1. Form of Government that I propose is a constitutional monarchy (for now I will be the “king”)  

      1. Country will be run as a democracy (two chamber form of parliament)
      2. Noble titles such as Duke, Earl, Count, Lord, Baron etc will be sold off to help initially finance the island.
   2. Establishment of the Government Building  

      1. For now this is where the government will convene until more infrastructure is added and the island is improved.
      2. People will be made citizens at this location
   3. Establishment of Civil Services  

      1. Waste collection, Police, Social Services
   4. Establishment of a Port  

      1. This will allow supplies to enter the island.
      2. This will allow for the island to participate with the rest of the world economically(I will expand on this later).
      3. The port will function as the entrance point and exit until the runway can be constructed.
   5. Establishment of Resident Housing  

      1. This temporary housing will be until the island can be developed and more permanent buildings can be put up.
      2. Resident Housing and the Government building will be set up near the port until island development is completed
   6. Set up a massive solar powered crypto mining operation to help finance further development of the island  

      1. A partnership with big mining companies can be brokered to have this set up
3. Make the Island a desirable location  

   1. Set up the island as a luxury city  

      1. Free housing for citizens
      2. Free healthcare for citizens
      3. Free schooling and university for citizens
   2. Build resorts and legalize gambling on the island  

      1. The revenue generated from such activities will help finance further development of the island
      2. With the revenue generated from this, the island will be able to provide for the residents a luxury city
      3. The gambling industry investments will help to finance the island as well
   3. Make the island a banking haven  

      1. Set up a bank on the island
      2. No KYC laws will be enforced on the island
      3. This will attract forgien investment into the island
   4. Allow cryptocurrency companies to conduct business without oversight and for miners to set up large scale operations using solar powered energy
   5. No income tax,sales tax, capital gains tax or corporate on the island  

      1. Commercial businesses such as casinos, resorts, and banks will just pay slightly inflated property taxes
      2. This will help attract a lot more forgien investment as well
      3. Will attract companies to set up offices here and thus bring jobs to the island.
4. Expand on the island infrastructure  

   1. Build an airport. The islands have enough space to accommodate runways for planes even up to jumbo jets
   2. Build more free luxury housing for residents
   3. Establish schools and universities
   4. Establish libraries
   5. Establish Museums
   6. Establish a healthcare system
5. Enjoy the luxury haven of an Island that we have built

Now for the question of how much this island will cost and how we will get the funding

According to my calculations (you can look at them below) it will cost us $2,600,000

* The Island itself  

   * 500,000
* The Port  

   * 200,000 to build  

      * This will benefit us later when we receive forgien investments
   * 500,000 for 250 passenger ferry  

      * We will budget around 100,000 for operating costs
* Initial Buildings  

   * 1,000,000  

      * These buildings will be permanently built but occupied until the island is built and then will be sold off to recoup the investment.
      * Buildings include
* Civil Services  

   * Around 50,000 to purchase initial equipment and medical supplies
   * Another 100,000 to purchase ATVs
   * Another 100,000 to purchase off roading vehicles
* Bitcoin mining operation  

   * We will get the money for the operation by partnering with a large company
* Water Purification  

   * 50,000
* Food Supply  

   * We will purchase MRE’s and other preserved food products for the island
   * An exact count of this cannot be made until we move further into the plan
* Further development of the island  

   * This will be financed by the forgien investments in regards to banking, gambling and tourism along with money raised from property taxes

Now in regards to how we will raise that sum

* We will sell off noble titles (this is why we will set up a constitutional monarchy)  

   * While no price has been established yet, the titles for sale can include  

      * Duke, Duchess.
      * Marquess, Marchioness.
      * Earl, Countess.
      * Viscount, Viscountess.
      * Baron, Baroness.
* A small percentage of the island (less than 25%) will be earmarked for sale immediately. The part earmarked for sale will be part of the planned downtown district/capital and developers of this land will be allowed to build whatever structures they want and won't have the problem of jumping through hoops like zoning laws.  

   * On a 60 acre island, 15 acres would be marked for sale  

      * The acres on this haven of an island will be sold for 250,000 each so the island would raise 4.5 million and the sale of said acres will help kickstart the massive infrastructure of the island and provide the island with adequate funding.
* Once the island is set up, the island will continue to profit from digital activities which will allow it to not have to charge an income tax or corporate tax  

   * Digital activities include the solar powered bitcoin mining operation  

      * We will partner with an existing bitcoin company for this
   * Solar powered web hosting
* People can become citizens for a fee of $10 which will mainly go to the printing of their ID and filing in the government archives but the island will profit a few dollars off of this

If you have made it this far, please join the subreddit

More information to come soon, thank you.",4.750298959465752,8.149262776595748,5.226945954340738,72.25291970802922,78.59219858156028,7.90335973494849,32.25839933737123,8.69398672243889,3.6561309649531495,5284,271,756,130,137,1683,409,1128,0.009000000000000001,0.905,0.086,0.9967,8,0,0,0,0,0,190.0,17,4,6,15,31,23,0,0,104,1,114,4,0,18,4,102,140,52,0,9,10,0,0,1,2,51,1,1,1,7,36,55,3,0,4,3,59,12,7,2,2,5,9,2,38,25,161,56,23,110,1,1,1,0,51,66,0,10,22,543,74,29,0.08118679472430745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17026286615094394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21682037971399376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966443625048337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13987046976980053,0.08512280962502768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388766154842077,0.09054473687757904,0.05362311222450808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06905744611820261,0.19634278888518425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12725024814621294,0.0778817713204487,0.09228065278448508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32650678295711144,0.0,0.0,0.0806368058565962,0.0,0.4683933038206829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08056536643594042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03966376699889355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06817646015167328,0.0,0.0,0.06902210960735254,0.0,0.23046272454813865,0.10838563180853608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178715440074064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628871438137592,0.059681635594693375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08646128673104563,0.05501427323595285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17583477418206928,0.0,0.16885410327314873,0.0,0.25446876227545084,0.0891187206704004,0.0767477629056103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768479803503768,0.0,0.08161515264109763,0.18189558112411414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722723337173791,0.0,0.0,0.16433074123421432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827597131272877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06104236581141052,0.0,0.0,0.0747458927922698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07930770154298346,0.0,0.19531543557392908,0.07011932375569623,0.0,0.0,0.04788607500571593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14599335719846462,0.0,0.07325845444056969,0.0,0.0,0.07826117295670648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730183088276343,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,StrictGuest,2020/04/06,"Addiction to looking up diseases Im going to put this out there as im sure many of you deal with it. I am aware of addictions lately. You can be addicted to substances thoughts actions people. More than even cigarette smoking i feel i have two addictions i cannot seem to get a hold of. One is looking up diseases online. On google. I have health issues lately...but i have noticed this about me even when i am more okay. Googling whatever is in my mind without contrl and spending hours upon hours on woreying about whether i have this or that. I know im putting myself in a low vibration as with all addiction yet ita as if something takes a hold of me. The second one is also similar facebook ...i lose myself in it. I deactivate...then i find my hand go back to it, and somehow im back...wasting my timme and my energy it doesnt feel good. I feel i need help myself and i try and dont know why i fail and don't know how to stop. I cant just take google out of my life??",0.8117506750675041,3.0117061336633704,2.77011701170117,91.55604860486052,84.1980198019802,5.850945094509453,23.538253825382533,7.1686216300943375,0.9372792079207924,757,29,163,11,22,253,115,202,0.051,0.865,0.084,0.7428,0,0,2,0,0,0,27.0,0,2,0,2,12,6,0,0,4,1,16,8,1,1,2,33,32,15,0,2,5,0,4,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,8,10,0,3,9,0,1,5,6,3,0,4,1,6,29,3,30,30,3,23,0,3,2,0,4,11,0,4,7,113,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.558085534969416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818789672911585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15745879755914208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10555665639660512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11999697788698667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13525149458393845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15531005910003595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935800006891077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05349306028059507,0.0,0.11637795432338495,0.08587748414307013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10883275317940112,0.0,0.0,0.06862794877491846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016614379116228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4423827692029743,0.10686558414142144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688079008357158,0.0,0.11549716547353585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723190723704463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17195883917274302,0.1145450318295311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380450034348067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033818347443732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759187747786226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656844950124545,0.0,0.0,0.1387603660052211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07098235843625096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20585473161626047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09320941645436752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07882263066522173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08560024244014378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649867767682074,0.0,0.1539647899280154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08128396076887305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06951415434400214,0.0,0.10001736863757572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238847805506414,0.0,0.0,0.0986975594214847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,datura_legends,2020/04/07,"Anti-addiction Project Hey everyone. I am working on a hypothesis that could potentially help people cure their addiction.
Right now I am in need of collecting anonymous data.
Anyone interested in sharing their story or participating in my project feel free to pm me! :3",5.798478260869565,9.232036673913042,7.2371304347826095,59.56221739130436,73.56521739130434,10.636521739130435,37.46086956521739,10.355215969177356,5.5612834782608696,221,13,30,8,5,75,39,46,0.0,0.71,0.29,0.9336,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,2,1,1,3,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,4,6,4,0,6,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,1,19,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.696903294408788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22349771020972106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552042357468929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3054269713365863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16161813476550407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21424602768274228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23700687858537825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22159613687998395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729683588642557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23269963435578744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,shrandom,2020/04/07,"Kleptomaniac? Okay, so, I know I'm addicted to self harm and I'm currently trying to stop but I also think I might be addicted to stealing /shoplifting. I'm pretty sure for quite a while now whenever I go shopping for anything (even just going to the supermarket) I end up stealing something. Idk what to do tbh. 

(btw, I'm a teen, lol)",0.5672727272727265,3.057501484848487,3.2536969696969718,83.49054545454545,94.75757575757576,6.276363636363637,24.78181818181818,7.554174236665415,1.8685200000000008,262,12,50,6,10,91,47,66,0.218,0.66,0.122,-0.7814,1,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,3,2,3,2,0,0,1,8,11,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,1,1,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,2,8,9,0,8,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,5,28,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5397603744133193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19797602371146206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20372323679787974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192673175320836,0.0,0.0,0.1635130118553161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813914904750615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13605413813494516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626251971365879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25186054867393803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633136997626675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582621770726882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905860749572841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20697373437521066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333251765613553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15862835986455145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16807901130155645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,vuvuimp12,2020/04/07,Another huge L today I just keep losing money making risky trades on stocks. It's so draining checking my phone throughout the say to see how much Im losing. I try to be as frugal as possible and save money but what's the point  if I just keep being stupid...,5.53238993710692,5.156323622641511,6.439622641509434,80.35993710691825,67.49056603773586,8.576100628930817,27.10062893081761,7.793537801064563,1.564715723270441,204,5,40,2,3,68,42,53,0.10099999999999999,0.8240000000000001,0.075,-0.0644,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,10,6,7,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,4,1,5,4,1,4,0,2,1,0,2,3,0,1,1,23,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260441551195441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26828628991235354,0.0,0.0,0.4415320330479102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5557334282762246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657914183735628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18258329726909528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347934916612616,0.2800041038656688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19751678880589554,0.0,0.0,0.19792173553403536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354292898846699,0.0,0.0,0.16862948436212882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Addlctlon,2020/04/07,"Help with physical withdrawal symptoms I have been an opiate addict for 10 years, shot up heroin for 3, been on and off Suboxone for those 10 years, etc., yall know the drill. I have been begging for an answer to the restless pain I get in my arms during withdrawals (I understand it's in most people's legs). I can handle every other symptom of withdrawals except the pain in my arms. It is the sole reason I cannot make it through the first 3-4 days. I have tried everything under the sun. If anybody has any obscure methods to alleviate that restless arm/leg pain I will forever be in debt to you. God be with you all, this disease has ruined some of the best humans I have ever met!!",3.9505839416058417,5.172676941605843,5.08438686131387,83.01125182481755,71.55474452554746,7.523795620437956,27.56861313868613,7.908726449838941,1.7207494890510944,539,19,104,7,10,178,90,137,0.162,0.768,0.07,-0.9244,1,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,3,0,2,1,7,0,2,9,0,15,9,3,2,2,15,20,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,1,7,3,0,0,4,0,1,0,1,6,0,1,4,0,14,1,21,13,5,13,0,1,0,0,6,8,0,4,5,75,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20530915698116525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12807189263927685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976423124608457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145825095310607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21003942942610687,0.0,0.1703566431885908,0.15867742935753118,0.0,0.16926022764757406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16019469579885778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09839544677639328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12623464886164135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10350207880541784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257127528783521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6011940510317509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13056536371149838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19363617045523002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3914971229408207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12786474054920466,0.0,0.0,0.19605975552923172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425586500367384
addiction,cmd404,2020/04/07,"Felony Jobs I have been clean for 3 years and it has been hard for me to get a decent job, I'm tired of working for fast food and I want to get back into sales. I have been convicted  of many felonies because of my addiction. Is it a good idea to call corporate or the place that does the background check to explain to them I'm no longer a ""kleptomaniac"" and that it was to support my habit? I just want to do more in my life besides fast food. Any good experiences and or experiences? I just want to be in a productive part of society.",1.8991891891891903,3.7287885135135137,3.515576576576578,89.62795945945946,78.27927927927928,7.322882882882882,24.613513513513517,8.238735603445708,1.3295686486486489,419,15,95,8,10,139,67,111,0.11599999999999999,0.75,0.133,-0.1926,2,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,1,3,3,0,0,6,0,10,5,0,0,0,14,19,6,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,5,5,2,0,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,10,3,18,14,2,8,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,2,4,61,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18561089819719148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11578411492270273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13092109996007933,0.0,0.10379023921856144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17385671319921245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14899757335255773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3330981482736909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4117633863900703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17790991423101266,0.0,0.0,0.2856156622583641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15252146245449946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19220526684909187,0.0,0.0,0.3379178659708137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12026120673600547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726191178447225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18437733943129686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778877303990732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19321149412646785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956913191632404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3012751196604353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12395288841209158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096432559580074
addiction,AnotherHardship,2020/04/07,Another bump in the road I thought I kicked it. Fell off the wagon pretty bad. Went on a coke binge. Still on it actually. When I buy I feel guilty. Got to the point where my brother asked if I’m using again. I want to stop. I need to stop. I just don’t know how. I have family and coworkers who are enablers so it’s hard. Any help would be nice,-1.7257999999999996,0.1623067200000019,0.8501666666666701,100.09925,101.8,4.633333333333333,14.25,6.42735559955562,-0.6379999999999999,264,6,66,4,12,89,59,75,0.162,0.7070000000000001,0.131,-0.3353,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,7,2,0,0,4,0,5,1,0,2,0,13,15,5,0,4,2,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,2,3,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,3,2,9,1,7,10,0,14,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,1,5,38,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.2407988041792612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16780292013009662,0.25874576469441196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23068407073329344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20603141773178765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23262012079024974,0.0,0.12476752922133122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19735375995253976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210454067854136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165395718483234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356109502652741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18296686007707408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332647047535617,0.0,0.0,0.2510401286444475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19706010484828268,0.4125990606876745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958971429646484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21311843803848812,0.0,0.0,0.14554341032393395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287458001152902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17528877801634882,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Gettingtoknowmyself,2020/04/07,Vaping addict So I've been addicted to nicotine for about 6 years. I've tried to quit couple of times but when I got to around month of nicotine free I just end up asking myself if I clearly saw the benefits of being nicotine free and after that I always relapse. Two days ago once again I went cold turkey. So far it's not that hard but I know it will become more difficult. So I was wondering if you guys have any tips on quiting nic. And does the addiction disappear after some time or it will always be with me?,2.1217142857142868,4.228780838095243,3.788809523809528,86.60035714285715,78.71428571428572,6.866666666666667,21.92857142857143,7.908726449838941,1.1303142857142865,408,12,81,7,10,136,77,105,0.055,0.789,0.157,0.9053,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,2,8,4,0,0,2,0,7,3,0,0,1,15,13,11,0,2,7,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,5,4,0,0,2,0,2,2,1,1,0,1,5,3,10,5,14,4,2,17,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,5,11,55,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.552517683091578,0.0,0.0,0.14975757611801804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2811478441163973,0.0,0.0,0.11488687991430432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15039488720043415,0.15793868850393947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865840212101376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18693196657577466,0.0,0.10895411322727312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478429603983751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14963315328240176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351189699364311,0.0,0.0,0.1672799078415124,0.0,0.0,0.15133954215621273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284653059739496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13484851075052914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17991854108372024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3593828723898025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19702378075642005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147010541503082,0.0,0.16503254228337955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15661164447181344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18321123226473812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10879360773341297
addiction,Deschwa_,2020/04/07,"I think I took too much adderall I need help Guys I really fucked up. So I'm a 15 year old sophomore athlete and I'm kind of scared. I stopped smoking weed and vaping about a year ago. I've been clean ever since but I found where my mom keeps my brother's adderall. I was really curious and I took 140mg on accident and I feel fucking horrible. I had to stop doing drugs in the first place because my parents found out and were really mad so I've been trying to hide it for the past like 2 days. I can hardly get out of bed without falling over, I make sure no one sees me when I go downstairs, I haven't slept in 2 days, have barely eaten, when I talk I slur my words,  whenever I stand up I collapse onto the ground or my bed, my pupils won't dilate, my eyes are bloodshot, and I'm fucking terrified and never should have taken it. I'm really scared shitless someone please help how do I make this wear off? Its been two fucking days.",2.7177721088435334,3.924306117346944,4.195795918367349,88.25396598639458,74.56122448979592,7.26748299319728,25.31156462585033,7.793537801064563,1.2491344217687077,733,24,158,10,15,244,124,196,0.20600000000000002,0.69,0.10400000000000001,-0.9756,1,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,9,10,5,2,5,0,15,9,3,3,3,28,39,14,0,2,3,3,2,1,0,2,1,0,3,1,4,9,1,3,4,0,0,4,5,7,0,3,13,4,27,3,17,24,1,33,0,0,2,4,7,13,4,1,16,91,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059875846906036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07288600741820353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313295314147887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386579983698403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10815382276891272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06045589970719133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10170233701288316,0.0,0.26219475690055216,0.0,0.44214544192951294,0.06246802891121263,0.0,0.06795181820938176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11838862419499008,0.0,0.0,0.10710718587404347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602844430922932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10627529316708953,0.0,0.1245090491736648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058413654504646736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15962177394568422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14003364621114595,0.0,0.0,0.08789438587610443,0.08865628911298623,0.09221626988389164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12546385917438546,0.0,0.08102066426819292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13276331697019195,0.0,0.11413878067943005,0.0,0.0,0.12492047937351256,0.13124699323899586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3063868349733103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23941180958811897,0.0,0.0952782081192119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890580139438156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10130744400116347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999241917179103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268905079255953,0.0,0.0,0.09610220452472773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766127323478795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656832974318883,0.08117711307825211,0.0,0.1167981013406696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11525685692811227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15399249924230168
addiction,SporaticPinecone,2020/04/07,Caffeine and Weed I've quit a lot of different drugs in the past and especially in the past 2 months. The hardest ones to go are always caffeine and weed. Anyone else? I just can't stop myself from smoking in the evenings. Trying to taper the caffeine but it sucks. I just so badly want to live a sober life and feel the pain that I need to feel. I'm all fucked up inside and utterly alone. Props to anyone quitting stuff during a pandemic instead of the opposite.,2.009999999999998,4.502591304347831,3.26104347826087,88.06873913043479,81.6086956521739,5.853913043478261,23.33043478260869,7.1686216300943375,1.0240008695652167,368,13,71,5,10,119,62,92,0.214,0.753,0.033,-0.9683,1,1,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,5,4,2,0,10,0,2,4,0,0,1,15,10,7,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,0,2,4,0,12,10,2,9,0,0,0,1,0,4,2,1,4,45,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992948739939448,0.0,0.0,0.1601135019769657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26909688691242123,0.19716275208522646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16066732621895335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010437810849499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231525880283666,0.0,0.160746885121926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709528437311535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945923154791125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778943530331851,0.0,0.0,0.10935989465397394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13591588169574711,0.0,0.0,0.16991531734221946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16359335153563595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153592266449725,0.0,0.0,0.14268113338680072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13039255670632308,0.0,0.2047543899189372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3673839894194958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4093365924943704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16087640567381428,0.0,0.0,0.2202812579089528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13064434136547812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11349759586654855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,lilflyboy5,2020/04/07,"Time to go clean I'm struggling with an addiction I don't feel comfortable to get into it but I'm deciding right now to come clean, for me, and for God. (Sorry I didn't get into it, it took alot of mental power to even post)",1.4203061224489808,2.663378734693879,3.877295918367349,89.08288265306123,77.9795918367347,7.348979591836735,20.413265306122447,8.07648339933343,0.7472816326530607,174,4,40,3,4,61,35,49,0.075,0.763,0.162,0.6484,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,9,10,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,3,5,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,2,1,3,1,10,8,1,9,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,2,24,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33452471918870597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26433431883232866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20267936279706794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15515857532026306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3206453105775489,0.0,0.1743966652527551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3092445776830206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.293888835034988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620583496421354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3435067263233571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32079864031360744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17893361682719486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34093481459691144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,moarballlz,2020/04/07,"How to help my brother with his bad habits? Sorry for my bad grammar English was not my best subject. 

My brother was just released from prison early due to the covid-19. He was in prison for 4 years. We lost our mother November 2018 while my brother was in prison he didn’t get to attend the funeral. She had liver damage from drinking too much alcohol and it was too late for a liver transplant. My mother never knew when to put the alcohol away. My brother grew up in placement homes also in juvenile hall for just bad behavior. He was doing meth and heroin not heavy but he was doing it because he was homeless. He also has epilepsy. I promised him I would help him with a home if he came out with a good mindset. He has been out of prison for 8 days. He has managed to smoke about 2 packs of cigarettes 7 grams of weed. He ran out of his weed and cigarettes now he is drinking beer. He is always looking for something to do to not be sober. What can I do to help him? I’m 30 years old and he is 32 I don’t want him going back to shelters cause I’m afraid he will do meth and heroin. It’s also by skid row in Los Angeles. I’m the nicest person and people usually take advantage of my kindness. I’m too afraid to step up to him grab the beer and throw it away. I care about him and I don’t want him having seizures while he will cause them from his bad habits. Every time he grabs a beer or smokes or any kind of bad habit all I think of it’s going to be my responsibility when the seizure triggers. He has a 1 seizure every two weeks with out drugs so these habits will increase. I try lectures it isn’t helping. At this point any advice for anyone who has had similar problems like this would be much appreciated.",1.6256050182112531,3.752295291784701,2.9847883447996786,91.626895184136,80.5014164305949,5.620687980574666,22.83358963982193,6.742157984588678,0.5735410602994735,1350,45,287,14,35,438,175,353,0.11900000000000001,0.758,0.124,0.7119,0,0,15,0,0,0,26.0,2,0,1,3,16,18,0,2,11,0,38,10,2,4,2,40,55,21,1,6,9,6,2,1,0,5,3,0,2,1,11,18,7,0,2,5,0,10,8,10,0,1,16,3,31,8,50,31,5,43,1,2,1,0,43,16,0,3,18,178,42,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10133442620660396,0.0,0.22164749585310314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487865241771701,0.08628669564082346,0.0,0.0,0.14103909309986054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07250944140315409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948591010103884,0.07973888826776011,0.4329257840751666,0.06321454899826331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882673759709943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186051580696914,0.10572904703757356,0.21305690233427046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06687791212772258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031730146982244,0.12025906127164605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747434216111523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054178962661172336,0.0,0.11787018369853025,0.08697862830088693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27803165903656113,0.0,0.20803908241145752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21597515541097,0.0,0.0,0.1169781011375768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05066257510394756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08708187078780964,0.0,0.1132007847163147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524628432658416,0.0,0.07997982215659719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10881569116254773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07189251329325537,0.09054682793919708,0.0,0.0,0.09803000563143456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992268816775493,0.0,0.10424712812615852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983331559767921,0.0,0.11608364435963665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796948390024318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06644676385012545,0.0,0.0,0.06046829580914445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07040548349395663,0.0,0.10129981819061563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142108840296489,0.0,0.12232987711318626,0.0,0.083181873736598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14733098960877047,0.0,0.0,0.1335587821797228
addiction,26LT,2020/04/07,"Currently trying to wean off of Adderall. This is absolutely brutal. I've always loved Adderall, it has treated me so well. The first time I ever took it I fell in love instantly. It was a blessing and a curse. It made all of my problems disappear and was the only thing that made me genuinely happy. So to make a long story short, I ended up taking it nearly every day for the next 8 or 9 months. After that I never went a single day without it. As time went on, the amount and rate at which I was taking it only increased and up to this day it's been over a year now since I first started.

I'm currently trying to wean off slowly, forcing myself to take a little bit less as the days go by. It feels like my sober self is a completely different person who I haven't been in touch with in a long time, I feel like I am going to have to meet and get to know my sober self all over again. As I'm beginning to take less, I am also beginning to experience withdrawal symptoms.

Let me just say, what I am feeling/experiencing is dark as fuck. Like it's actually scary, I would not wish this feeling on my worst enemies. It's not the worst I've ever felt in my life, but it's definitely comparable to it. So I just have one question...

I know that there are people out there who have certainly taken higher dosages than me to an even greater extent than I have for an even longer (sometimes much, much longer) period of time, but given my situation; having taken Adderall (\~30-40mg a day) for a over about a year straight, how long can I expect withdrawal symptoms to last? I know they are not permanent but I just want to know how long I should prepare to feel like this for.",5.204203539823013,5.1231477905604725,6.336134218289086,79.82544026548673,68.14454277286136,9.375870206489676,29.044395280235985,9.120678840339163,2.198302536873157,1307,41,268,22,20,440,171,339,0.066,0.816,0.11800000000000001,0.9218,3,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,1,2,19,16,2,0,19,0,24,6,0,5,6,45,59,19,0,6,11,0,6,4,0,2,3,1,0,3,25,7,0,0,10,0,0,8,6,5,1,3,14,7,31,11,49,42,14,60,1,0,0,3,11,19,1,2,37,192,56,0,0.0,0.0,0.08844922053072213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248285397539186,0.07541774194769849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895278153956732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950317965277413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2922687606351652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946969981596906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08027800872199124,0.0,0.0,0.1197305566522419,0.16397379208076998,0.07636608506243868,0.0,0.0,0.08866096234772805,0.0,0.0,0.18331637060714745,0.19425455329570335,0.08702630747468358,0.0,0.0,0.15419258826487206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379299837523785,0.047354403765591836,0.0,0.10302287080857712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09648540793949656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19924821283522076,0.0738817392026152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09268308433027192,0.06402001558743264,0.17712380742913555,0.09084268404761416,0.0,0.32084568635945226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16360794094613235,0.17152697256246124,0.06050130014465049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723460655924817,0.0,0.1332581261182933,0.0,0.06990530282371002,0.0,0.09639411320384278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061418381786395776,0.1378679543727335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06283669776962701,0.07914125408309415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672793993390203,0.0,0.0,0.1015348525902023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07207865545988107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891095630388971,0.0,0.0,0.07497635727623063,0.10188045715801997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08964290152623225,0.0,0.06415375802063117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18841433664037197,0.2725927733314069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06021559234147021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21140604796522408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070170581374953,0.1230739581905606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0534604033454902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08149408529160633,0.1680439218860232,0.0,0.0,0.10422876402475234,0.08737140958112123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06438634874526561,0.0,0.0,0.11673528224105115
addiction,bigshitter42,2020/04/08,"Let's see what happens when I go a month without internet For over 7 years, I've lived in a state of internet/gaming addiction for hours everyday. As a result, I have neglected my health. This shit has made me a  hypochondriac and obese with a messy room, fucked up sleep schedule, neglecting school, neglecting finding new friends and playing sports. I also have cravings for junk food. Sometimes I don't even want to shower. It's a constant never ending cycle, until today. My hypochondriac shit made it the last straw. 

I promise I will be back in 1 month and have an update. If I succeed, maybe I can share something useful to everyone.",4.6265546218487374,6.81341035294118,5.015705882352943,80.29767647058827,71.52100840336134,8.121344537815126,30.387394957983194,8.841846274778883,2.7478732773109247,508,22,87,10,10,161,89,119,0.195,0.679,0.125,-0.8632,1,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,4,11,3,0,8,0,9,8,3,4,1,16,17,8,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,2,0,4,4,2,3,1,2,0,1,3,6,0,0,2,1,11,5,14,12,0,23,0,3,1,1,2,5,3,1,16,55,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826743893916972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340044618317764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12884982630862954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18108200913599226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484159461956248,0.0,0.0,0.11067740802845473,0.0,0.0,0.16011887428369356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15315456515186482,0.0,0.20262448464300814,0.0,0.12946300059082685,0.15491436990542365,0.0,0.0,0.09523303513790324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148180263320449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17811747023647456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16502120968059206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13659068535578567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17135013531343352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479660476824678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31711471592537044,0.0,0.0,0.1683450720961401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675031418784443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12923915064463326,0.1618386929379695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16958825909851774,0.13353039228081484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34401329628297644,0.0,0.0,0.16768950711022346,0.0,0.0,0.12900241114299552,0.16572952246251196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15883533634075087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447253746387657,0.0,0.0,0.09883623763013373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16153004577298813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10790861435177099
addiction,_just_chris_,2020/04/08,"last night I OD'd..... then immediately shot up again so I don't really go on reddit very much, I usually just lurk, but I feel like I need some human interaction right now because everyone I know has shut me out (with good reason, I'm a fuckup) so please hear me out if you have the time.
last night I woke up with a needle in my arm covered in my own vomit on my shitty apartment floor.... and then immediately went crazy looking for the rest of my stash so I could shoot up again.  my arms and hands are getting so fucked with this shit, and I'm so skinny that my tattoos are fucking shrinking.  it just feels weird knowing that everyone out there is worried about coronavirus and I'm just worried about making sure I can get my shit so I don't start kicking..... I don't know how much longer I can actually survive like this but I also don't know how to live without heroin.  I know I'm going to get evicted any day now and then I'm going to be sleeping rough with nothing but my shitty broken iPhone 5 with no cell service.  
I just want to either die or get better but I dont know how.  And I don't know how much longer my body can take this shit, I don't think I have that much time before I kick it, which is scary but honestly kind of relieving because then I'd at least be at peace and feel nothing anymore
sorry if reading this was a waste of time",3.033738095238096,4.197586992857147,4.317857142857143,87.85380952380955,73.71428571428572,6.904761904761906,24.761904761904763,7.2636822038024595,0.9340833333333332,1058,32,228,11,21,349,146,280,0.213,0.665,0.122,-0.9873,1,0,0,1,0,0,28.0,0,1,0,2,22,14,5,0,5,0,21,12,9,6,1,51,55,30,1,5,14,0,5,2,0,0,1,1,0,1,10,15,1,0,12,1,0,4,9,6,0,0,3,7,32,8,28,49,9,38,0,0,1,2,5,16,5,4,20,145,42,2,0.0,0.0,0.09885513500966917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101035003620735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06888813414591738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004633430060146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12350426355287833,0.0,0.08619966528658167,0.0,0.0,0.08959247685335578,0.0,0.11252254228756724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08088058253480575,0.0,0.0,0.06533074597681147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051344147014947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11872398374718535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19359483819888187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15366244431366405,0.07236943403633388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873022309873712,0.21170230554712371,0.0,0.17271502917306344,0.084966448415504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141735568256596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548937284786727,0.3897065514950944,0.16514762390894894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898107519642876,0.0,0.08945061345254735,0.0,0.08506730247138841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06761918486305411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2978714785617309,0.07511338653388612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19012819823203966,0.0,0.1944020278572532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111980462210322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013283846396986,0.0,0.06489599608357965,0.10415427000358668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651047587002955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119519734795684,0.0,0.0,0.10137412950810404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133981435789808,0.07170134877903556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09547496646888633,0.0,0.07616572324958047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06490957196425792,0.0,0.0,0.17720823276959127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156870803738947,0.08358391030148553,0.05974993740678763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390701515468458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765052126295233,0.0,0.0,0.205752106954688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,igalaxy7,2020/04/08,"Any Tips for Recovered Heroin Addict (5 years clean) who just suffered Serious Injury? Little brother has been about 5 years clean off of Heroin, and was just kicking a soccer ball around in his back yard this morning.  

He pivoted wrong and tore his meniscus (just got MRI back).  In quite a bit of pain, looks like it will require surgery.  

On top of the fact his health insurance expires tomorrow (let go due to covid), he's worried about pain post surgery.  Worried about pills harder than Ibuprofen being the only thing that works.  

My advice to him was: 

\- File Cobra immediately (told him I'd pay for it for him if needed) 

\- Tell all your Docs the absolute truth w/ history, and anxiety w/ pain meds

\- He's about 1 year clean off weed (he just wanted to quit, fairly functional), but told him that might not be a bad option if he's out of a job anyways for pain management.  

Just looking for any other specific things he may want to keep in mind while going through tough stretch ahead here from people with any experience.",7.102865302237028,7.2767874921466,6.626844359828652,78.47792479771537,64.13089005235602,9.667967634459783,32.546882436934794,9.339509955726095,2.7806607329842934,805,29,148,13,11,250,133,191,0.14800000000000002,0.785,0.067,-0.9164,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,6,14,11,0,0,7,0,10,9,0,0,3,27,21,7,0,5,9,1,0,1,0,3,9,0,4,0,9,6,0,2,0,3,1,2,1,9,0,0,6,2,9,2,30,9,2,23,0,1,2,0,19,11,0,5,10,83,18,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13167602480142448,0.0,0.11803198651316653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24641859076575726,0.0,0.0924019812066728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10752633718184253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18575601080340046,0.10085238002528303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13186848694679015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11815319159437905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13729245285550065,0.0,0.0966046664983036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283912895864921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11986279289792955,0.10736133381956124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351323435317105,0.0,0.05901059102263631,0.12106064235045425,0.0,0.0,0.20286188185270868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13416750041524106,0.0,0.0,0.12813627532115113,0.1219607764655902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956227893625217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09186421169126928,0.5141049653321145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08373873003559927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568087890419587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569443990636766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10557345532558182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049147743258318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308349509919216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14248700018434546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08793461896520115,0.2453308051353009,0.0,0.0,0.13206199008240185,0.0,0.2333492520815888
addiction,laciedawn,2020/04/08,"advice on quitting adderall.. with a long back story for context lol Okay so I got prescribed adderall when I was a little girl took it up until middle school then stopped taking it because I had the memory of a gold fish and it was a low dosage so I wasn't completely dependent on it. In the time I didn't take it I was a full time competitive cheerleader practicing 5 days a week hours on end training and conditioning. I had well enough energy for me and never thought about the drug. 

While in high school I heard one of my friends talking about how they got prescribed and it was the best thing ever and I remember asking myself ""I wonder why I stopped taking my prescription?"" . Probably not long after that I started my prescription back up at a 20mg dosage and felt like a whole new productive me. I lost weight and felt like I was on top of the world but never really correlated the adderall and my productiveness, I was a dumb high schooler I know. But after my body started getting used to my 20 mg dosage I soon realized I hadn't been doing the same in sports or school and decided maybe I need to up my dosage so now I have been taking a 30 mg dosage ever since.

I am 20 years old will be 21 in September (:

I am wanting to enlist into the military and have to stop taking it...

To be quite frank I'm scared shitless, because after switching to the 30 mg dosage I started to depend on adderall more and more. Say I accidentally forgot to take it one day or my pharmacy didn't fill my prescription in time I will break down in a anxiety attack because the effects of not taking it after taking it for so long are ruthless and just didn't want to have to go through it. The complete lack of energy I have and the appetite of 4 grown men really do a toll on me. I never really thought anything of it and didn't take it seriously, I just thought that it was me being lazy.

I don't know the clear defining of being addicted or being dependent on the drug I just know when I wake up I just have a routine of waking up taking my adderall having a coffee and some breakfast then after it would start to kick in I would proceed to do what I had to do that day.

I have tried not to take it weeks at a time, not stopping all together, every once and awhile because I didn't think the adderall was the thing making me, me. I would eventually gain weight from the constant eating, and then proceed to sleep and sleep and sleep. Eventually ending up taking it again thinking I didn't take it for a week and didn't like the person I was and just thought that was my personality.

SOOOO with all that said I don't even know where to start. I don't think slowly reducing my dosage will work, I feel FOR ME, I just have to stop taking it all together. I'm hoping there are people who have gone through similar situation or just even quitting the drug like I am attempting to do.

Tomorrow I am not going to take my adderall and need advice on what to do to help the crash of the drug. I am desperate for any tips because I am so scared of the physical and mental exhaustion from stopping.

xoxo

Thanks in advance to anyone reading all of my blabbering",5.676799227799227,5.672942153968254,6.484191334191338,78.901138996139,67.14285714285714,9.604461604461603,31.312741312741323,9.358847034038227,2.622490347490348,2487,90,492,44,37,824,243,630,0.087,0.8190000000000001,0.094,0.0365,0,0,4,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,1,11,29,18,2,2,38,2,61,16,6,7,10,97,118,42,0,9,18,0,5,4,1,6,6,3,0,4,29,26,4,7,19,2,0,7,20,8,1,2,38,8,70,10,80,69,13,99,0,2,0,0,13,35,1,10,60,361,99,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05647052973104502,0.0,0.10123830535828826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03522632758976731,0.0,0.039627478387260905,0.0,0.0,0.036220331258228565,0.0,0.04262765347679999,0.0,0.04842676539294959,0.05893090035948005,0.0,0.07966325188365092,0.0,0.1578864669723562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05436175495551116,0.0,0.0,0.057539023011703966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10862432889842516,0.055978273772930964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10022171254870996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402899788922191,0.05300516141503196,0.0,0.0,0.09176028593948203,0.05352408466482447,0.0,0.06842789382176992,0.09371359782988037,0.04364441715087405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02619204632141671,0.0,0.09947380341469153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040021177836037015,0.0,0.027063785582128297,0.0,0.05887918892233125,0.0,0.08285968079423868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034720991486430916,0.10946080109639864,0.0,0.05144989315595863,0.05101336404381841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11387348337205452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012290381583352,0.05191802086538064,0.0,0.13752626213339167,0.0,0.0,0.05654670401223062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0345774433706323,0.0,0.05204087683301754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05220303348752668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07681928951116182,0.11985593585169226,0.05002954574869629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054356236977287316,0.05516617278157123,0.07020313986831737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035912159797096985,0.0904609396755574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055850035213829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652896153468237,0.05181482871780625,0.0,0.09955477727683157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05868022053902661,0.0,0.049274433225596014,0.041194083787234485,0.10372329643586962,0.15727555777275734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042850165891590124,0.05822628157631497,0.15551466182619514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18332440209285,0.0,0.0,0.25984678330530675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5842164441451099,0.04163552944697168,0.0,0.04769122681828597,0.0,0.0,0.06882831374658864,0.09957560358136228,0.0,0.1644962299016509,0.12082187712081835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057552606667558966,0.03516935015908045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044739268589264615,0.0,0.0,0.0611069205068412,0.0,0.12465445725894105,0.12615886438391735,0.046575149831076,0.0,0.04674217454050671,0.057833755213708676,0.0,0.0,0.05617576951081475,0.037711607121730086,0.0,0.0,0.11039342901351122,0.0,0.0,0.03335802372340938
addiction,HelloLotus,2020/04/08,"Looking for help in getting/staying sober? I noticed a lot of posts from people who are looking for help and support on how to stay sober right now, particularly when we're all at home and can't go to rehab or to meetings. Wanted to share this as a resource as I can't go through each single post, and maybe someone else will find it helpful...

Refuge Recovery has meetings online - it's another alternative to something like AA and is more of a punk rock/Buddhist/Meditation based recovery group that is open to all forms of addition. From their website: ""We satisfy cravings in many ways. In Refuge Recovery groups, we offer recovery from all forms of addiction, including food, sex, technology, gambling, relationships, spending, codependency, and more. All are welcome to find recovery and a community in Refuge Recovery.""

Online meeting schedule: [https://refugerecovery.org/meetings?tsml-day=any&tsml-region=online-english](https://refugerecovery.org/meetings?tsml-day=any&tsml-region=online-english)

I hope this helps someone... with Metta. <3",12.700000000000005,15.121977375796176,9.322808917197452,56.186124203821656,52.31210191082803,11.120764331210193,41.81464968152866,11.00357731598739,5.2085750318471336,876,41,109,19,10,250,103,157,0.0,0.84,0.16,0.9736,0,0,1,0,0,0,64.0,2,0,1,0,3,5,0,0,4,0,8,4,0,1,4,23,15,11,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,6,12,1,0,2,0,2,2,2,0,1,0,0,2,6,5,26,14,11,17,0,0,2,1,17,8,0,3,4,71,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15727821869190362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3126381847300765,0.0,0.0,0.1512821977503672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860875339046975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12052108315306248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637247319871236,0.0,0.17445476683479622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16398666695413258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38681101227215625,0.0,0.14471698715642378,0.14329505294173533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048421042473843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423049713597996,0.0,0.0,0.12265524093210076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14626957592728546,0.14494102404288328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16425509124007054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10002032120412843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2763461700518911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15489457233696766,0.0,0.12320784701654605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24448308400229896,0.11106794717690782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3075503789398615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637186173988994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850956034310065,0.11451672109747606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Iamjustheretodance,2020/04/08,"Someone give me some kind words Addict here, recovering alcoholic, adderrall addict. 
This time in quarantine is not helping, but let's be real I was popping pills prior to this. I used to have a very bad addiction to adderrall, my own script, buying it off the street, stealing it from my family who have scripts, hundreds of mg a day. I did well for so many years, 5 years to be exact. I don't know why I relapsed. I've had access to it in the past and knew very strongly to steer clear. This time around I indulged and I've been indulging almost every other day now, sometimes for days and days. I have access to 10mg pills right now. Only taking up to 4 a day and that's pushing it. Sober I feel so empty, hateful, and let's be real bored. I live in a state that there isn't as easily accessible recovery programs, especially programs that aren't super Christian based. I'm not religious, if anything I have an unhealthy resentment towards the Christian god. Been through a lot in my 30 something years, have lost almost all hope solely because I've seen and experienced such awful things on part of the human race. Also, I am an empath. I feel silly when I say that, but it's true. I, like others I'm sure suffer from the pain around me. My soul can't help but absorb it, my brain can't help but react as if it is experiencing first hand the turmoil of others. 

I miss sober me. I've become dependent on adderrall to function. Maintain my life, feel some sort of happiness and relief. But I have in the past felt happiness and relief, been able to maintain a job and a household without adderrall, why now am I so hooked like I need it to survive. I'm at a loss. I am normally able to pull myself from these binges, but this time around it's as if I am sludging through shit sucking me under, losing strength in my legs as I attempt to pull each foot out of it and walk forward. Aye.",3.8487006079027393,5.171258079787236,4.899270516717326,83.85500000000002,71.92553191489361,7.179939209726447,28.056231003039517,7.5804360353943165,1.6289539513677809,1482,55,289,17,28,486,197,376,0.179,0.685,0.136,-0.9643,1,1,2,0,0,0,47.0,0,0,0,9,16,29,4,1,17,1,28,13,5,3,5,53,47,28,0,6,12,0,5,2,0,0,8,1,0,1,24,15,1,0,6,0,1,5,8,14,1,1,10,9,33,15,47,32,7,44,3,5,1,0,7,20,2,11,22,190,57,3,0.19308606232430034,0.0,0.0,0.3157384627600853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10317513970172737,0.1933478001938706,0.0,0.0,0.07720542714033504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794466886470824,0.2578312981365935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060939841528973,0.05885173571642852,0.10662419291785737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077739514743442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3113113414694606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134166762090253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101217766993504,0.0,0.14644517204729998,0.0,0.09269644988468807,0.0,0.0,0.08211945298749461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261287258705324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20554370376495745,0.0,0.09531625590714654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19413227624469875,0.0,0.0,0.09588901356514327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958040615943456,0.0,0.0,0.10053471051347833,0.0530575251083318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19744358070756146,0.06819119802645608,0.0943320968979197,0.0,0.08524926526650319,0.0,0.0,0.10800695711946487,0.10538812299681044,0.08207743268259471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09787948057049912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07158543431442835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945916725125098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07342532559441459,0.10272859194633277,0.0,0.0,0.10454669469890172,0.1843224946318998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197742108437552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244722111031594,0.0,0.07677489333367651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09910003412731047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08180059700971212,0.07432354205437622,0.09548352641828127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099066433048372,0.0,0.0725883445054635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06413890006055548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16888505354742114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338218156540017,0.0,0.15931622302585854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680377936670983,0.0,0.1742301386318761,0.0,0.0,0.09306403689421168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18651164034244
addiction,kulia808,2020/04/08,How addictive is abusing DayQuil? Is it hard to quit? Do people addicted usually take it everyday?,3.2909803921568614,6.301924764705883,5.361176470588237,66.71862745098042,95.47058823529413,11.678431372549019,40.96078431372549,9.725611199111238,7.087172549019607,79,6,11,4,3,27,15,17,0.248,0.752,0.0,-0.6046,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,7,2,0,0.0,0.3682846630847683,0.0,0.6777047310873204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27844409380519713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21549152021391973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3306077076947844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23370670806044005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3423371349410546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,pathetichypocrit,2020/04/08,"Trying to be sober So I started smoking weed and cigarettes when I was 13, when I was 15 I already took pills, mostly amphetamines, and then when I was 17 I was high on every  drug I know, expect Heroin and Cloud9.
2019 in August I was high for 5 days on a rave, and after that I had to go to a hospital because my stomach hurt so bad and I wasn't able to use drugs anymore cause everytime I tried the pain came back even stronger.
I also met my girlfriend at this rave and she never tried drugs. Now for the first time in my life I want something else then being high, I want a family, kids, a house and a good job. I finally have something to fight for.
There is just one problem, I can't stop smoking weed, sometimes I do nothing for days, I don't work, I just sit there and smoke pot until I have to sleep and when I wake up I do the same thing over and over again. It has been very bad the last few weeks since lock down, I just can't stop smoking. So I didn't bought anything yesterday or today and I m going crazy. I know it's just pot and it should be easy to stop but it isn't.
I know my girl will leave me sooner or later if I don't stop, and I want to stop for myself to, because I don't feel good. But I can't.
Now thanks for reading and I would be glad about some advice or help because I can't stop thinking about buying weed and being high again.
Sorry for my English, it's not my first language but I hope it's fine.
Thanks again.",1.77158064516129,3.037490416129032,3.1776129032258065,94.36641935483874,77.09677419354837,5.863225806451613,21.43225806451613,6.152001189255117,0.04302193548387123,1119,28,262,7,25,366,155,310,0.079,0.777,0.14400000000000002,0.9511,1,0,7,0,1,0,30.0,0,0,0,3,23,13,1,0,9,0,31,9,3,2,1,53,50,33,0,9,12,0,1,0,1,3,6,0,0,2,9,16,0,6,5,1,2,4,12,6,0,3,13,1,43,7,29,29,4,52,0,1,0,0,7,13,0,7,34,175,52,3,0.09077692134496196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870615692569066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10017459001531176,0.07259427120276774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09002631348779122,0.0,0.0,0.0747016715719335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06980184918932393,0.1515898751370111,0.16601030607290096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103824614770856,0.0,0.0932529038750982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170872089603383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3158172269851072,0.0,0.07583246954358562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059957300410812125,0.0,0.07648347140964426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557640250492209,0.0,0.04589953897331482,0.0,0.0,0.09944168019254504,0.0,0.15442960584522578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031812327106304,0.1522787494845848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06084585688215013,0.3836432055991153,0.0,0.0901619654724661,0.0,0.10474437928932463,0.09717857179272596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900820873261269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14966586584881303,0.07399530673043989,0.0,0.09611965255160056,0.0,0.0,0.06411842413844987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001275796092266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08710290429759847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061512791228536076,0.0,0.09659304455987472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686125403611353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080148686908478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509160739937418,0.0,0.09084247935191783,0.0,0.0,0.13976901802093405,0.08978069637003587,0.10161733142967083,0.0642523721542141,0.0,0.0,0.4553614257951306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16715038582084424,0.0,0.0,0.06030815291235723,0.05816618578641945,0.0,0.0,0.05293275284491111,0.0,0.08604590716821242,0.0,0.1008564997303577,0.18489471251884476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07840211402541064,0.0,0.07490046703787731,0.1606277404745728,0.0,0.07281577072344221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06608667988704751,0.0,0.0,0.0644853204063496,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,gurratt,2020/04/08,"How do I stop vaping/smoking Hey everyone I’m new to this sub I’m looking for advice on how to stop smoking, vaping in particular. I’m 22 years old I’ve kicked heroin and Xanax along with a few other drugs before back in 2017 but I can’t stop vaping and my lungs are hurting but My willpower is so null I don’t know what to do. I tried withdrawing before cold turkey but it’s worse than heroin withdrawals. How do I do this",-0.043666666666666736,2.2710007444444464,2.5438888888888904,90.18250000000002,91.55555555555556,5.666666666666668,17.5,7.1686216300943375,0.3863333333333334,337,9,71,6,12,116,58,90,0.226,0.774,0.0,-0.9590000000000001,1,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,8,3,1,3,0,14,13,9,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,7,0,10,13,1,10,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,7,42,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22363919326642645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17597909527612673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3894857460788857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654047637368074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186853908951612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24499919906026896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257753864292592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19218463122701102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22103426585672728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24014991052206544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5740112379954726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15538081301234072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23322773561774526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473782376752286
addiction,zzzczzz,2020/04/08,"Closet addict I have finally admitted it... I am a closet addict and I need help. I have been struggling with what some may call addiction for a long time. I started abusing prescription pain meds at 15, and I am now 25. I was prescribed Norco at 15 for a back injury/chronic pain. It obviously started like most, taking an extra pill here or there to feel that euphoria. From the first pill I took I was completely hooked. I loved the feeling so much. Over 3 years ago now, I met a friend who at the time got 15mg oxy prescribed, and started selling me about 25 a month. I've been able for the last 3 years to go on a once a month binge for a couple days ill take 6-7 20mg oxy a day & come off of them w Kratom no problem. Everything seemed fine, I was in control, I never had become ""addicted."" Well... A couple months ago I was offered meth, and that night I decide to try it that one time. I did fine enjoyed the high a lot. I was able to not do it again for 2 months. Well I have been on a binge for over two weeks now. I used every single day. I didn't want it to end. I started mixing it with other stuff, took 60 Norco in 3 days, used Ativan. & Yesterday I was running out and I started doing coke. I am out of everything at this point over $700 spent in 2 weeks and the worst part is besides a couple friends NO ONE has any idea I'm struggling with addiction. My boyfriend is staying w me & I was able to hide this binge/addiction from. My family had no idea and I feel like if I tell them, I will disappoint everybody. I need HELP. Otherwise, this is gonna end up really really bad. Not to mention being in quarantine & working from home has given me a big ""fuck it"" attitude to everything. I'm coming down now & I can't stop thinking about it, I want more but As bad as I wanna keep going... I know I need to stop now. Any suggestions on anyway I can reach out & get help during this time of covid19. I'm honestly scared if I don't get help soon, I will be stuck in this cycle. If you have read this far I appreciate you so much ❤️ thank you.",1.1567464653861317,3.002347180138571,3.1629606263730103,91.19597927110912,80.66281755196304,6.533859066073339,21.646425956176422,7.590005382236693,0.7572847293415199,1591,48,356,25,41,537,214,433,0.107,0.773,0.12,0.6593,0,1,1,0,0,1,70.0,0,3,2,3,17,23,1,3,21,0,36,13,0,3,2,51,78,16,0,10,7,0,3,2,2,4,10,0,3,0,21,15,1,4,10,1,2,7,9,11,2,4,21,3,48,12,50,51,10,75,0,1,0,2,20,25,1,9,44,223,69,2,0.18710383265791294,0.07389581541816533,0.0,0.4079415903201961,0.0,0.0,0.11057083896798332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4054538490273862,0.0,0.08482468151412742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04795709936119855,0.1041492566246974,0.0,0.06888049438970159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368464420210618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074489230194846,0.06539160291414588,0.0,0.06995095269588869,0.0,0.20702683206420694,0.0,0.16088865780063574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11047897358342322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05254768291214127,0.0,0.16815686026815685,0.0,0.058794947205068726,0.0,0.0946053196329848,0.0445556718119755,0.0,0.06832103437121853,0.0,0.05305014149226119,0.0,0.0,0.0963706379869194,0.05765815944708265,0.0651693534252354,0.0,0.07089027993933839,0.0,0.049881342412310084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16721567340143434,0.06589515730544394,0.06256013322330645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14081163514266573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055435494456056125,0.0,0.0,0.03427579108027953,0.05083819867736143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06093965443801004,0.0,0.0,0.05519366802933511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0530229958764614,0.05628950466503823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06927672618106823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19912599220381197,0.0,0.09169523029764948,0.13873512113178732,0.048102003443729016,0.0,0.0,0.05852809072940845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06641982512405596,0.08452426619616722,0.0,0.13272777983271816,0.0,0.0,0.06753840587771039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05895786638834236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059677699643025064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062384821870754815,0.0,0.07990900417873989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0624411923393615,0.0,0.0,0.056777434041085824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.220721759622354,0.06647593021874924,0.0,0.10428478803803272,0.0,0.1304010336610005,0.07139637473118128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378586453298107,0.0,0.05451233222608913,0.05742002363956671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0399628603485178,0.0,0.0,0.14546899929599155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385861616838437,0.04234374018552827,0.0,0.060924419085522916,0.0,0.0,0.10773175828756447,0.0,0.0,0.07357245879652234,0.0,0.10005560575264737,0.0,0.11215254388429094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045404606190284184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08032582252771807
addiction,tomas_houseoffocus,2020/04/08,"Beat Phone Addiction Hi guys.

I’d like to ask for your expert advice.

You might be familiar with the feeling of being addicted to your phone. It’s so common these days right? 

Because of this, I decided to develop an online course to help people get rid of their phone addiction and become more calm and focused.

Right now, I have a few questions which I would love to get your perspective on:

​

1. What’s the most important struggle you have regarding phone usage?
2. What would you want to get out of a course like this?
3. Do you think The Phone Addiction Course is a good name for this course? If not, what would you call it?
4. How much would you be willing to pay for an online course that helps you get rid of your phone addiction? 

Thanks so much for your answers!

Tomas",2.190456656346754,4.796328618421054,2.724690402476781,91.45312693498457,81.89473684210526,6.471207430340557,21.44117647058824,7.724431198458867,0.9739120743034057,618,19,124,11,17,191,88,152,0.024,0.782,0.193,0.9774,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,12,1,1,4,7,0,1,8,0,13,6,0,1,0,20,23,6,0,6,2,0,1,2,0,6,5,0,0,1,11,4,0,0,5,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,16,6,19,14,5,7,0,0,0,1,28,4,0,4,5,80,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.66441570228556,0.0,0.11911402296594376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13207278210317722,0.14811531908045214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139550257141858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430583586479321,0.13462304351303436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244680472098074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861195310717381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0616335881169286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25473965538765025,0.0,0.0,0.10223943349573084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069484924886345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16340680388429596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11910311945008445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001466384627992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12931094097676235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17921315878568642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450638938866524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13654988397012466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20819469824477185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127430734812744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11222419945499958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810515785740622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718966117308095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3463617950344821,0.0,0.14811531908045214,0.0
addiction,Nope666999,2020/04/08,"How can I stop? During this pandemic it's especially hard to not want to smoke weed and drink whiskey, but recently I've been wanting to stop and it's not exactly possible for me to do it myself. I've tried to stop smoking a while ago, but I've only recently tried to stop drinking as well. I'm scared that my girlfriend will leave me if I don't stop, so I might need to go to rehab. I just need advice or a plan of action or something.",3.691290322580645,3.9762413010752695,5.300161290322585,84.6702419354839,71.47311827956989,8.780645161290323,28.403225806451612,8.841846274778883,1.9662774193548385,343,12,76,6,6,117,60,93,0.21899999999999997,0.752,0.027999999999999997,-0.9295,0,0,5,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,1,2,0,6,4,0,1,1,22,12,11,0,5,8,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,5,2,3,5,0,3,0,2,3,1,1,0,1,1,8,1,11,9,0,11,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,9,46,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15448267231346333,0.14013629751470055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3097339317693675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898455818297272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416166290554027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16739335016454104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16770737167671906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23444187626229016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12023375469033487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17822151478068846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31218749189975137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15827459732624655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12170458150154158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.660847119328943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21466401188264764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864898931947672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14214093339158249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,AnthonyXp_yt,2020/04/08,"please help me im 14 and addicted to nicotine ive been addicted to nicotine since i was 12. it started off with my own cousins giving me a vape when i was at their house(theyre a bit older). i love them dearly but theyre hardcore druggies now. from ages 12-13 i was addicted. ever since my first time. for a while i quit after my parents found out but it was hard. but recently ive been smoking a lot. a lot a lot. ive done other drugs too. weed, and codeine to be exact. im scared things are gonna get worse. i still occasionally do other drugs but not like vaping and cigarettes. im scared. i know what to do. ive tried stopping but its hard cause my dad does all that stuff. and my friends are like that too. i feel alone. it just makes my depression and anxiety worse but i cant stop. please somebody help",-0.17022896835606005,2.12628795857988,1.7289066117828682,95.75447131463855,92.49112426035505,5.069307949575507,19.7738615899151,6.7026698264267655,0.2481127347568824,631,21,142,9,23,207,101,169,0.19899999999999998,0.675,0.126,-0.9366,1,1,4,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,2,2,7,8,0,2,6,0,17,6,0,2,3,28,26,13,0,0,8,3,3,2,1,1,5,0,0,0,11,7,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,8,3,23,5,11,16,6,17,0,1,0,1,10,3,0,3,16,90,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37173299959552175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11772206406305087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08695297339138668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240921123866403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11676467394875928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789900199988676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946850357884524,0.11631816939053599,0.0,0.0,0.2636292919857953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10281597909005816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057472148103782886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966829011496786,0.0,0.12462717430066972,0.08781685217163826,0.0,0.059384970312658276,0.10903727289665946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20364199621034507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15237373518133027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3683312491117672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06246699495278672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106139249383867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2899002863016809,0.10258658058599453,0.0,0.07587188576488654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262108917841929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24953880994712924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208961063555436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122299063083456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275958350646517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1880487725298073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08045226446856582,0.0,0.09077255598367012,0.1900570963560412,0.0,0.0,0.13011857172119273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07551359280666575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06627863980970101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717068289558307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316675177440658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,InspektaA,2020/04/08,"Amphetamine is a dirty little snake So yeah, ive been into weed and alcohol for like 5-6 years now, always tought i want to try amph at some point. Finally like 6 months ago i decided that now its time, now i can control myself and now im ready to try it. First time i took it my mind was blown, instantly. You cant compare the high to anything. I felt so sober and at the same time so fucked up, sweating, just bouncing all over, playing csgo for 30 hours straight with friend whos been into amph for quite some time. Had the best time of my life for 70 hours, went to sleep, slept 20 hours and didnt have any problems, had a few weekend long gaming sessions after that. But now, everytime somebody asks me out for a drink or to smoke some weed i just dont wanna go, i dont want alcohol or weed, i just need the fucking speed! I cant enjoy alcohol or weed anymore, i hate the slowness and drunk effects, im so fucking hooked to speed its almost hilarious. Even tho i dont use during week days because of work etc. Its the only thing that i think of during work, im just waiting for weekend so i can take some speed and just fucking play and enjoy. Can anyone of you help me? Because this is going to be a problem at some point.",2.9568792569659443,4.061388498039218,4.12813209494324,89.3702786377709,73.82352941176471,6.780185758513932,25.577915376676984,7.0608816371341465,0.9613921568627446,957,31,208,9,19,313,141,255,0.08900000000000001,0.782,0.129,0.6888,0,0,5,0,0,0,29.0,0,2,0,7,17,15,5,0,10,1,19,13,3,3,1,42,39,17,0,6,9,0,1,2,1,0,4,0,0,0,10,11,5,2,4,7,0,4,6,7,0,1,10,1,21,8,28,28,10,45,0,0,0,4,7,13,4,9,30,126,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442101459608148,0.3053351319429065,0.09536515006382204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07924402513400314,0.0,0.0,0.06476378169008591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944485736907326,0.06659126246903797,0.0,0.07837115682004996,0.0,0.08903285344956141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11611002768039813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09994436182020207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068153313055599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061419375376469375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33484783381532657,0.09329507500389217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10621337339002412,0.06290251468439771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09144154569923137,0.10432644074523337,0.0,0.08100773786367252,0.0,0.0,0.07357913815308181,0.3521767848157361,0.0,0.0,0.10824968704835616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09402588536298076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06383471870464705,0.10062211860949634,0.0,0.0,0.2813649845098052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3086138388509072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06726804056011125,0.09305504968233196,0.0954515443183343,0.0,0.0842809098276802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616126458509633,0.0,0.07601650874316336,0.0,0.0,0.07061632642247928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243130965829649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18005770582478026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822560812469984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10129526499444633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09530483114230842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07160565943555419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06327060171432207,0.061023417173496734,0.0,0.0,0.27766454129013685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058107588540084,0.12931805679037126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225337189934395,0.0,0.0,0.1123453828496188,0.0,0.07639261700917233,0.0,0.0,0.08828477507843803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13866596139436796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06132889556909564
addiction,JonnySadz,2020/04/08,"Cocaine... I have had terrible muscle pain for a few months to the point where it hurts just to walk, everyone seemed to think it was likely siatica and had a phone consultation with a doctor the other day he did as well, then after an excessive even for me cocaine binge, on my own, I thought I popped my shoulder out of place while rearranging in bed and I even posted in medical advice about it. My cocaine binge carries on until about an hour ago and the pain I thought was my shoulder dislocating was actually a muscle spasm continues as well. I did some research and found that it looks pretty likely that it's caused by my cocaine addiction or excessive use as well as the pain that's been stopping me from walking without pain. I've searched your site to see if anybody else has cited this problem from excessive cocaine use and found nothing but the pin has dropped, I don't need confirmation I already know and regardless I am a cocaine addict anyway, aside from my credit rating and finances I haven't completely ruined my life and still have my family and girlfriend none of whom know about my problem although they probably have suspicions, imagine if they found out there suspicion that I use cocaine is actually I am an addict. I don't think I'm going tell anybody about it but I am going to try and stop and protect what i luckily still have in my life, other than probably telling my doctor I've diagnosed the cause of my aches and pains and maybe ring Frank (UK) is there any advice from anybody who has successfully beat an addiction? Ive never successfully seen out anything and this will probably be one of the hardest with my addictive nature. Or shall I just tell myself I'm quitting, leave this here as proof I've said I will and try to never do drugs again?",9.046264705882354,7.588696008823532,8.731617647058822,70.30977941176472,60.970588235294116,11.911764705882357,39.48529411764706,10.820120047756994,4.241058823529411,1433,62,255,29,16,462,172,340,0.107,0.8059999999999999,0.086,-0.5112,0,0,8,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,2,4,19,18,0,0,16,0,29,19,2,5,3,56,51,30,0,6,9,0,0,2,1,3,17,2,1,0,18,20,0,3,12,0,2,4,7,10,3,1,15,5,37,8,40,32,4,34,0,2,3,0,13,12,0,6,18,185,55,8,0.0,0.0,0.15092505985070978,0.4215033648805241,0.0,0.15113117077724575,0.06854802028803123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533513115570462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05258677643786215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363566788910184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15887759124575354,0.0,0.0,0.0810786092438656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04987119154547391,0.0,0.0,0.07848791128870704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15830023471614105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08967777983713465,0.0,0.06459895401991396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021509365502086,0.0,0.0,0.07389174204025123,0.0,0.0,0.07289946013729308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25436372903346105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08789638195497561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07615407434906199,0.0,0.08278293096271995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499664628716977,0.0,0.0,0.08188087573782787,0.0,0.0,0.10924035990594796,0.0755586682302717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06493738395874403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768797211898891,0.0,0.0,0.07790143161434912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061723745070857386,0.0,0.0,0.05733891495422785,0.11928270197571507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07419983212451604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05240053497037781,0.0,0.4114207068372237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08079296815266786,0.0,0.0731014625383707,0.0,0.0740603762666558,0.07867199874544943,0.25012314795109364,0.14798795791203634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224954311604661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07355815327424257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06162167542763166,0.07039795911610404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351102913398802,0.1293020082489202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027684237684324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09909936426298313,0.0,0.12278212147811388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050034380999562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20036382526408006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085857788171644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07454297019888016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,BlacknedBrainCells,2020/04/08,"Fucked up while they grow up I'm struggling right now. I'm 16 and I think the worst part of it is watching everyone else, your average student do normal teenage shit while my life is fucked because of drugs 24/7 since when I relapsed 222 days ago. It's so embedded into my life. I realized and started laughing yesterday because I realized that every single one of my close friends sell drugs. Your typical student spends their day learning and gossiping about who like who or whatever and I spend my days stung out on clear after not sleeping for 4 days or nodding or tripping. I dislike a lot of them personally but I kinda wish I was them and it hurts. I'm tired of living like this. I'm just so tired. I don't know if anybody can understand this broken ramble but I'm content with sending it out into the void.",3.0965833333333315,5.385781325000004,4.057500000000001,84.97083333333336,76.375,7.016666666666668,29.416666666666664,8.021203637495839,2.1772791666666667,652,30,122,11,15,210,104,160,0.19,0.728,0.08199999999999999,-0.9611,0,0,2,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,4,0,6,11,3,1,3,0,6,10,2,0,1,30,18,16,0,3,8,0,0,2,1,0,6,0,0,1,9,11,0,0,6,0,3,3,2,7,0,1,1,1,19,4,16,17,4,24,0,1,1,2,12,9,3,6,14,77,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13508472639900634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18579131507045007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3931163138953009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3534485256457461,0.0,0.12730246610733592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12839532439730775,0.14561537612189993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773629816746008,0.28176458698426765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16313687153353731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374967402625492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21527542396728486,0.1489003180846304,0.0,0.13456334728146271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295567069523895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14931005022088628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10326355013451777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16502374703075753,0.0,0.0,0.13306125334172178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301404066296191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564263605814075,0.12605875640657935,0.0,0.15250026431167546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786257493271424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15931133487505236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09764549327267692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35030025760560657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15864358286087765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17524122072706338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,khayriyah_a,2020/04/08,"I think I'm an addict, I'm thinking this now so that probably means I am (my long vent, I could use support right now) I've (23F) been constantly chasing a rush for a long time and I'm afraid I'm headed down a bad path that's gonna get worse if I don't stop right now. I'm definitely addicted to nicotine, I smoke like once or twice a day but that's me trying to cut down now, I've been a lot worse. I've been using nicotine pouches, the really strong ones multiple times a day. I drink energy drinks and highly caffeinated drinks all the time because I love the buzz from that.

The main point though is I'm getting addicted to my Ritalin and it's causing some problems. I probably made a mistake from the getgo by trying to get the prescription, I have actual ADHD and was diagnosed when I was really young and took Strattera for around 5 years before I was taken off it because of the mood and behavior changes it gave me. Over the course of the next 13 years I was constantly on the verge of failing every class and was completely dysfunctional as a person. Then I decided to ask to get put on Ritalin and they gave it to me. 5mg twice a day. I knew it would help me but I was also well aware that it could get me fucked up if I took enough of it. The first night I took it I did exactly what my doctor told me not to do and took it at night and the euphoria was pretty great, not completely intense like I'm sure coke or meth is but definitely better than nicotine and caffeine. The next day I took more pills to get some housework done, maybe 15 or 20 mg. I didn't do this much during the first month, maybe a few times but I think at most I was using 30. I also just wasn't using it to study and focus but also just because it made me feel great. It was legitimately helping me when I took the right dose but not enough. I asked the doctor for a higher dose, she gave it to me and now my current dose is 10mg twice a day and another 5mg for late afternoon.

That was the beginning of when I think the seeds of addiction started sprouting in my brain. I went through that script, all 750 mg in the course of a week, it was also the first time I snorted it which just gave me an even bigger rush. That's a general theme with all my substance use, I have to have more and more, I don't like to stop because I don't want the high to end. I don't consider myself an alcoholic but on the rare occasion I do drink, maybe once or twice a month I always get really fucked up and binge drink. Weed I just keep smoking and smoking when my high goes away. The surprising thing though was when the rest of the script was gone I was bummed about it, not even distressed totally, for maybe an hour or two and I got over it. 3 weeks went by and I barely thought about it. Then I could fill my next script which was a partial 15 day supply because I couldn't see my doctor. That was my worst night because in the course of 15 hours I took around 120 mg of it., about half went up my nose. The rest of the script was gone a day and a half later. I wear a Fitbit so I can track my heart rate and it would sometimes shoot up to 130 just walking around doing stuff in the house, I was worried but I always eventually ignored it.

Around the same time I got that script I told my brother who's also an addict about my using. He was concerned and said I shouldn't do it. I brushed it off and said I have it under control.

Two more weeks go by and I've gotten my most recent script about 5 days ago. I told myself I wouldn't snort it and I haven't had the desire to, it's actually more convenient to just pop them. The effect lasts longer and it doesn't fuck up my sinuses and make my heart rate that bad. It still got pretty high though, resting bpm was around 100. I also said I would use less pills. I'm sticking to around the FDA maximum dosage which is 60mg a day. So I've probably taken a ten day supply in the past 5 days. Better but I'm realizing things are getting a little fucked up again. I find myself wanting it as soon as the euphoria wears off and to have it to stay awake and energized and hyper focused. I have a lot of classes and I will say I got soooo much shit done and have been taking it to study, so that's the only real plus. Now I'm sitting on my couch about an hour or two ago and I'm noticing my heart is kinda feeling a bit cold. I'm googling heart attack symptoms and stuff like the link between Ritalin and heart problems and my resting heart rate is still a bit high (90 bpm) from my earlier doses. I took 45mg in the course of a few hours so I could study earlier in the day.

That's when I realized, this is really fucked up. I'm legitimately googling if I could be doing major harm to my body right now as a result of my drug misuse/abuse. I mean I'm probably alright in the short run but if I keep this up there's a chance I could die.

So that's what's leading me to here. I might be an addict, but I'm admitting that and saying I can't give up the Ritalin because it can still help me. I'm gonna take it as prescribed or at most take one extra pill if I really need to. I'm promising myself if I step over that line I'm gonna flush these down the toilet because I know I can live without them. And also I did grow up with family members in NA and AA so I know what I just said sounds like addict talk and bullshit but I don't care. Despite everything I still have been succeeding in life and the benefits outweigh the risks for me. I can't give this up, I'm actually living for once in my life and everyone around me has noticed the difference.

Before anyone says anything I won't go back on Strattera, that didn't help me, it just made me worse. I'm also not going to NA and I think I've made up my mind about that. I think total abstinence is necessary for a lot of people but not for everyone. I can smoke weed occasionally and drink and that's never been much of a problem for me, it's never gotten to the point where I felt like it was having a seriously negative impact on my life. I even took Xanax and Ativan a few times and while they were fun I could put them down with no problem.

So here goes nothing, tomorrow starts day one of trying to manage this. I could use any prayers or positive vibes sent my way. Thanks to anyone who took the time to read my long ass vent.",2.7328506787330333,3.855467897435897,4.140072699849174,88.99781945701359,74.39969834087479,7.445779788838612,23.742654600301666,7.942745572744218,1.022622527903469,4936,139,1101,71,100,1636,440,1326,0.098,0.7909999999999999,0.111,0.9236,1,0,13,1,1,0,98.0,0,0,5,11,69,48,8,3,86,1,94,57,14,18,9,190,217,108,1,29,42,1,3,6,0,11,30,8,1,1,74,58,8,6,22,7,0,29,27,23,2,16,78,17,141,24,133,117,38,187,0,1,1,7,37,67,7,24,94,721,215,10,0.0,0.03576142354845342,0.08836153687190904,0.2303242824225107,0.03627359756117357,0.0,0.05351007471892463,0.032256000481140884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19309599596838856,0.05022865131670274,0.0,0.0,0.020525190403702383,0.03164906833794633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042208725486120126,0.0,0.02483769282633146,0.18808227610362133,0.056433278648918686,0.034337043719859725,0.028357528839898997,0.023208542090050414,0.050402389598596886,0.14719217215100608,0.0,0.051366307555808816,0.0,0.0,0.05338808109562965,0.06590312348804635,0.03352604383606817,0.0,0.03369374289834569,0.0,0.0,0.030773153371196026,0.03100582534331573,0.03192916912666095,0.0,0.06329172484509034,0.0652332960188415,0.03385233159441619,0.1927866825915636,0.0,0.0,0.253048485362449,0.0,0.0,0.030634684852629955,0.031324754349699176,0.03153437360004845,0.0,0.09267945323684673,0.0,0.061774520022380375,0.0,0.1774046352647485,0.03500221216855635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026732808516678024,0.06237334994003362,0.0,0.059805931204597415,0.0,0.025430126651650238,0.057681500079379014,0.027126158040199345,0.0,0.0284534516279599,0.0,0.030522440151600345,0.0,0.02898001147102388,0.0,0.02758633265904811,0.07701986513611588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13951655106200445,0.12615322461930875,0.057907764823270015,0.05146036981999217,0.0,0.0965590705280206,0.06655280524676847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03097603626210165,0.0,0.0,0.214599026184978,0.08092299254848682,0.15944777230326504,0.0,0.0,0.11889505171545744,0.03482664662420302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05365533043089288,0.0,0.0,0.033175114865269084,0.02460283231267556,0.03404726655768168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06395654968948243,0.08847410834788674,0.030250875880541074,0.05330354481520893,0.08013190442870104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698045427670767,0.027240958182379517,0.11423795348081785,0.02014710750210657,0.0,0.12128983960094546,0.06575535909327541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03201894922475138,0.030475803196835932,0.0,0.048182897139775235,0.0,0.06656301069602508,0.022380001717121213,0.04655733505195191,0.0,0.09629855341843101,0.08497292425338737,0.0,0.028961000948175983,0.06872613810239264,0.0,0.09643039263458794,0.061357495004114415,0.022955213286342764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02881268924238785,0.020924801649142625,0.026354265942243733,0.0,0.0,0.05706459072128564,0.0,0.0,0.061413072375646464,0.1301677109424616,0.11552261687646148,0.0,0.06068366172245832,0.0,0.0,0.03019074930414068,0.034354385519673014,0.09667867279087404,0.0,0.02980165794682311,0.0,0.0,0.103103038638621,0.11484218687430395,0.07200720067265821,0.0,0.0,0.02405160967875267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030981986142521182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02985134483939588,0.0,0.04272677302522634,0.03217061592564464,0.0964153941981159,0.05046797918914378,0.0,0.0,0.06910366932518415,0.0,0.03425083577118565,0.02844672583830069,0.0313712588502721,0.06808063498810803,0.024259615688871642,0.0,0.02778806585889536,0.0,0.0,0.04010393195868845,0.11603867691645176,0.08896269914370472,0.02396159825927576,0.1407976478114567,0.0,0.0,0.08652225011906851,0.3353395857319459,0.06147597474219496,0.0,0.08845198918362343,0.0,0.0,0.20854447662237344,0.0,0.0,0.035604937108208674,0.02395752828652149,0.07263193880741532,0.0,0.02713776552289526,0.08393866622416697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029094931468131045,0.0,0.0,0.030651876579082717,0.09227588726078476,0.06432251968491069,0.0,0.0,0.038873185782391184
addiction,toocaffeine,2020/04/08,"feeling alone during withdrawals i really need some reassurance. i never realized how hard it is to quit an addiction and i feel stupid for not realizing sooner that ive relied on using. i can't even describe what im feeling to people, my mind starts to make me think im just annoying to my family and friends when i try to open up.  i can't stop having the most depressive thoughts and i really want help but i just feel so guilty and stupid when i try to get help. i've opened up to my brother and i feel like he's tired of me at this point. i don't want to worry my sister, my mother would kill me if she found out i used and i havent been able to stop wondering if life could actually go on after going through an addiction. im afraid that i may never feel complete and everything feels pointless. i've been trying to quit for weeks now but i keep going back. i really want to change, and i really do want help but the feeling of being a disappointment or a burden always takes me back. im scared of relapsing because i already feel like i want something stronger and i hate myself so much for that.",2.6989705541386506,4.387351528634362,4.4042754463250615,84.76568977509854,75.56387665198237,7.77454208207744,23.841641548805928,8.532816995589336,1.5214546255506598,875,27,180,17,19,295,126,227,0.17800000000000002,0.643,0.179,-0.894,0,1,1,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,0,2,11,14,5,2,6,0,14,4,0,4,2,57,44,20,1,10,9,3,10,2,1,2,4,0,0,0,6,12,0,3,15,0,0,3,7,10,0,0,4,10,32,4,25,36,3,24,0,2,0,0,10,9,0,7,14,114,38,0,0.0919615401013472,0.0,0.08974119752727368,0.20050330548721385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095244421395607,0.1014818462703943,0.0,0.07651936824970125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414254957816644,0.0,0.05605890128962565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972831157621592,0.0,0.09641992515474444,0.0,0.0,0.07342380679230287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792063397367256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06073972992699898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264910252875435,0.0,0.08669315564007267,0.0,0.418486660293188,0.13139468524637396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10083108209926782,0.07104925776183743,0.0,0.04804610913035882,0.0,0.15679158748235664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08237947684349345,0.0907929819936276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849196455915904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3973369759558651,0.0,0.0,0.08173964221961139,0.1017418188864327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06495515539942348,0.08985552667340765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0613850421107111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928549402141182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06760231320491022,0.06818831674470538,0.14185281795055354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06375455286852437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08693337999239721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19562483533500324,0.0,0.0,0.2356516695949507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09206954446182926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07079648640436842,0.0,0.0,0.06509085140718282,0.0,0.0,0.15376793057981947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06914363340133724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05892524165270219,0.0,0.07300719063675966,0.0,0.10569626225745173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18730754764434915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588504885637068,0.0,0.0,0.2712064949656029,0.0,0.07376600043471257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972836742324788,0.0,0.093391407892303,0.0,0.06532683958251312,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,kamehouseroshi,2020/04/08,"Can I go to Rehab for smoking cigarettes/weed? I'm addicted to cigarettes and weed. Some people laugh at the idea of going to rehab for nicotine, I however see it as totally rational. Nicotine is the most addictive drug in the world and for one to think that someone shouldn't go to rehab for it is ridiculous. 

Moreover, I've noticed I cant quit through willpower. I need a temporary environment change that forces me to quit. 

Thoughts?",4.5308013937282245,6.7703775853658525,5.383449477351917,77.33036585365856,71.92682926829268,9.075958188153312,34.88501742160279,9.606745405546679,3.8199700348432057,350,19,60,9,7,114,56,82,0.033,0.9159999999999999,0.052000000000000005,0.3527,2,0,3,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,4,0,5,6,0,0,1,10,13,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,0,3,2,1,0,1,1,1,5,1,15,11,3,6,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,2,0,39,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.474609605246875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302780049279975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524412569042177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3711399832546781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457357480397077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16140796289623904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24783165991328845,0.0,0.0,0.1475065164904761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15091283954693188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4630618215955127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17346385275980666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18444070156842848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394814195801332,0.0,0.17281467676604206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,fuckoffbrandon,2020/04/08,"Just found out my new roommate is addicted to crack. I don't know what to do but I want to help. Two new roommates moved in who were friends, and one just informed me of the others situation. The girl who is addicted does have odd behaviour, and this revelation explains it all (sleeping pattern, social behaviour, jittery).

A bit about her: late thirties? Early 40? Very skinny.  recent ish divorce where there was A lot of abuse and manipulation, is seriously nice when you meet her and on the outside she seems just lovely. She has this super witty sarcastic humor. She also sometimes makes social interactions awkward. She is extremely independent and it's very hard to help her when she flat out refuses, even when my boyfriend can lift all the heavy things with her she is adament to do it herself.  

 When she initially moved in she wanted the sleepout, but changed her mind and is now in the separate workshop where she is more private. Has a fridge in there and everything. The house currently looks like a junkyard but she said she would have it sorted in a week so I'm just giving her that as she works full time from home..

How do I best help this woman? I believe she has a good heart. This is my first step into understanding addiction so I hope I didnt offend anyone. I really need some advice",3.5907380952380983,6.164220146938777,4.333290816326532,82.17721513605444,76.10204081632655,7.348639455782314,26.943027210884352,8.344100000000001,2.0860374149659857,1036,41,187,20,24,331,152,245,0.07,0.723,0.207,0.9923,1,0,0,0,2,0,28.0,0,1,0,4,19,12,1,1,13,0,22,7,3,4,2,40,37,19,0,5,7,0,1,1,1,1,3,1,1,2,14,11,1,1,6,0,0,3,2,3,0,3,5,3,32,9,20,31,8,29,0,0,1,1,40,12,0,5,15,139,46,1,0.0,0.14315176524152906,0.0,0.39513440943380695,0.0,0.11806375877338042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09661959012374603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448004808514567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13612259689598233,0.1267929782279715,0.0,0.1319039837642636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278113808021078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573026462987443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980037122265525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10858509036738744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10276930240170587,0.0,0.13247272900248724,0.09334511614231797,0.0,0.0,0.11590140901984483,0.0,0.10133795763760098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10823085386023072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14317210357444546,0.24294899536606895,0.0,0.12119216025945699,0.12000137206927268,0.0,0.13940988492649667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639942966223368,0.0,0.1362900529610431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05902647569855116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145824445943936,0.0,0.0,0.10271671562397944,0.10904463144188642,0.0,0.08064818783093819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219936062911335,0.0,0.0,0.256824759112446,0.0,0.08958638762166682,0.0,0.23337712735952296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187065697330287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07740028946258391,0.0,0.1192950257260234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149273444958062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10998985345613922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13580657317342532,0.12090710431255802,0.24632124305607106,0.0,0.0,0.11949392067134125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026733954304094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07045102594544506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180234373090546,0.12577772443906227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19937805849894516,0.1425253553301046,0.0,0.09691439565792376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08795828951144974,0.0,0.0,0.08582695470909818,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,scottsteinberg,2020/04/08,"How Heroin & Heroin-Associated Cues Strengthen Memory Consolidation. Drug-Linked Cues Evoke Drug-Like Responses https://youtu.be/9EnEDJ4QMt0

Addictive drugs are said to often worsen memory, and anecdotal reports of drug-users with poor memory are abundant. But what if these reports are wrong? What if drugs of abuse can improve memory under particular circumstances? In this episode, Michael Wolter - Neuroscience PhD Candidate - joins us to discuss how heroin and other drugs of abuse (including cocaine & nicotine) can enhance memory for events immediately preceding drug intake. This work has vast implications for the development of addiction, and for preventing relapse to addictive drugs. In fact, drug-linked experiences stored in the brain's long-term memory centres are believed to be largely responsible for relapse to drug seeking behaviour and drug abuse, even after long periods of successful abstinence.

Manuscript: Modulation of object memory consolidation by heroin and heroin-conditioned stimuli: Role of opioid and noradrenergic systems. Published in the journal European Neuropsychopharmacology: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/32067860

Abstract
There is recent evidence that cocaine, nicotine, and their conditioned stimuli have the ability to enhance memory consolidation. The present study compared the effects of post-training heroin and of a heroin contextual conditioned stimulus (CS+) on consolidation of object recognition memory and investigated the roles of opioid and beta-adrenergic receptors in heroin/CS+ memory modulation by co-administering the respective antagonists, naltrexone (NTX) and propranolol (PRO). Three experiments were performed in male Sprague-Dawley rats demonstrating that immediate, but not delayed, post-sample exposure to heroin (0.3, 1 mg/kg), or exposure (30 min) to a contextual CS+ paired with 1 mg/kg heroin (5 pairings, each 120 min), equally enhanced object memory. Importantly, while the memory enhancing effects of 1 mg/kg heroin and of the contextual CS+ were not altered by post-training co-administration of 3 mg/kg naltrexone, they were blocked by post-training co-administration of 10 mg/kg propranolol. Taken together, these data suggest that a context paired with heroin shares the memory enhancing effect of heroin itself and that these unconditioned and conditioned drug stimuli may modulate memory through the activation of beta-noradrenergic receptors.

KEYWORDS:
Conditioned stimulus; Heroin; Memory consolidation; Naltrexone; Object recognition; Propranolol",15.242950213371264,16.30624031351352,13.627439544807967,32.04542674253201,47.21621621621622,17.735419630156468,52.98719772403983,15.699874878766684,9.75381081081081,2116,124,202,92,19,678,190,370,0.146,0.804,0.049,-0.9893,0,0,16,0,3,0,101.0,1,0,2,6,5,4,0,0,15,0,14,12,1,5,1,36,16,22,0,2,7,0,0,0,0,1,11,1,0,1,13,18,0,3,3,0,2,0,2,1,0,1,5,1,3,3,46,9,2,21,0,0,0,0,10,9,0,5,11,121,16,6,0.0,0.222301451719096,0.0,0.20453573099639846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13552561014274567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07046193446210591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06981608687923865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8703280581554355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041307531999548695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12235357929310965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069307474034933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23958675002689475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06175138056457693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05949051223255335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15045748503363526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045530362866135085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06837842024032857,0.0,0.0
addiction,throwaway147156,2020/04/08,Ran out of recovery medication So my friend is recovering from pill use and ran out of his recovery medication. He’s next monthly appointment isn’t till Monday. Any tips or anything that could help him?,4.199054054054051,7.2215282972973025,5.558040540540541,71.68949324324326,76.83783783783784,10.186486486486489,30.871621621621625,10.125756701596842,4.1391675675675685,165,8,28,6,4,55,31,37,0.0,0.8420000000000001,0.158,0.7334,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,6,6,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,6,3,0,8,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,4,16,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218408323680916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684513196867805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26046017901910035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25203681481906404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186584347280277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.657264795548504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603857454463805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3469387425241516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28174939775059404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,rolltide2018,2020/04/09,"Quitting Amphetamines I’m a 24 y/o male who started taking adderall in college to study more. Loved the rush, the motivation, etc. that comes with the dopaminergic effects of the drug, and eventually got my own script.

I’m out of school now, but have been using 10-20mg (prescribed 20mg D-amp) pretty regularly, sometimes more. I’m sick of how I feel on it, and sick of feeling dependent on it. 

I’m pretty worried because I start my PhD this fall, and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to do it without, but today, I didn’t take my adderall. I think I’m going to try to stop for good and regain my self confidence. 

Any advice/tips are greatly appreciated.",2.767727272727271,4.451195469696972,4.7339393939393934,82.49590909090911,75.36363636363637,7.2242424242424255,27.90909090909091,8.00094639256281,1.8159454545454536,510,21,103,8,11,175,92,132,0.122,0.687,0.191,0.8767,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,3,2,4,0,0,5,0,6,4,0,5,1,22,24,8,0,1,5,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,6,7,0,1,5,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,3,2,8,4,15,20,4,13,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,2,5,54,14,4,0.18334364446093426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19865276217325667,0.0,0.1246799653548981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117645839292024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579343153473467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21262041981998847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044766282775958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18540811099915694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10419841830309357,0.15377995029353836,0.1466366612360774,0.20213701527810427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16547479733979253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3730527992935095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19500853409948604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855535564444873,0.0,0.0,0.19126740693583655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18133155245671373,0.0,0.2595431504280169,0.0,0.0,0.15328349635429295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17279921512152435,0.0,0.2757032064730773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11747920427867428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17378833713931455,0.0,0.0,0.12447829959607196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15835004212398626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767367306271306,0.0,0.0,0.18619437066236832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,alright4,2020/04/09,Anyone have experience taking suboxone and Wellbutrin together? Have been on suboxone for about a year now. They want to put me on Wellbutrin as well for treatment of adhd&depression. Does anyone have experience taking these meds together? Side effects? Effectiveness? Thanks.,7.587142857142857,11.747159619047622,6.69761904761905,57.73071428571429,83.76190476190476,10.019047619047619,34.57142857142857,9.23628265651192,5.495342857142859,232,12,26,8,7,71,32,42,0.0,0.84,0.16,0.7399,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,2,3,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,2,0,4,8,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,2,8,7,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,19,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29292002013459695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640848909376992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3408479321191978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099271041106383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21329262280477385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4768358040878749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707327118280117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450192510352215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3665141647973439,0.0,0.0,0.22439684393482007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437601946848379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191454765403002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569562316347422
addiction,jessicakidd,2020/04/09,"My boyfriend od'd and died at my house I don't know how to cope with this nightmare. I don't know what stops the pain. Alls I want to do is get fucked up but I can't look at another drug without thinking of him. People keep calling him an addict on social media but he wasn't and he never would have wanted people to think of him like that. I can't go to the funeral because of covid 19. I can't sleep or eat anymore. Stress is eating away at me physically. Everyone I close my eyes I picture his bloodshot eyes, blood streaming from them and his nose. The yellow vomit that kept coming up from his lungs as I  tried to revive him. The ways I feel like I could have saved him but didn't. I blame myself completely. The thought of his son hearing the news that dad won't be back,  and he was an amazing father. I can't stop crying at little things. Having panic attacks. Waiting for his texts that won't ever come. No support from anyone feels good enough because I just want to hold his hand again or feel his kiss. My car is soaked in his blood and I with all the cleaning in the world I don't think i can drive it again. I can't describe the pain of this nightmare. Maybe if I can save someone else from this pain and say drugs with your partner for the night is not worth waking up to never having them again would help but I doubt it.",2.2116275571600457,3.9451479169675103,3.0116110108303253,94.02778956077015,77.05054151624549,5.338688327316486,21.28895908543923,5.7366,-0.035088929001203084,1051,27,229,5,24,331,152,277,0.11699999999999999,0.701,0.182,0.9582,0,0,2,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,2,0,7,16,2,3,12,0,28,20,9,1,5,53,51,15,2,7,10,3,4,2,1,4,7,2,1,1,11,12,2,6,9,0,1,5,17,8,0,0,5,11,42,8,34,40,3,30,0,0,4,2,28,14,1,4,12,154,53,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12167581772653835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170370905255642,0.0,0.0,0.11069117182253647,0.07804315711506786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269771246126434,0.10486509853869257,0.0858243349395179,0.0,0.1360778095641216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139704508260524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922912870242503,0.11702523516833795,0.0,0.0,0.08911475758805912,0.0,0.12260282152313645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11583778932668246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25887378613636336,0.22841812852184198,0.0932392385156884,0.0,0.0,0.1153271768597675,0.0,0.0,0.1009613217934624,0.0,0.1066520327605744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693062914019935,0.07973711821570548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10318541476230927,0.05831374802334832,0.0,0.06343285155390922,0.09361659147802966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12579717554713066,0.0,0.07481256243759124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878765814321505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09920771913039746,0.0,0.0,0.12268035444908243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10905799940473174,0.11186662624958107,0.0,0.0,0.09372771313987036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11213134132124768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721673124441139,0.0,0.0,0.10474224940708976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3562957388127081,0.13095506962233436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15475829358957308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887599931181757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11169468237852498,0.11377649461816484,0.0945702444168674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866287306132242,0.1278535469850828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12665833078954392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741514325945029,0.21455337941898325,0.0,0.08860910895268498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0757786310824091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974986215863204,0.08859405834315069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075919863330706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585748744915244,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,pwda,2020/04/09,"Hello I found this sub after freaking out a bit about my behaviors. I'm doing some reading, need to do better. I've lived a good chunk of my life like this, screwed a lot of things up. Time to get more honest. Just needed to get that out.",0.9027999999999992,2.878319680000004,2.47,95.165,82.2,4.800000000000002,18.0,5.6839178017228535,-0.4597999999999995,184,4,41,1,5,60,39,50,0.11599999999999999,0.6729999999999999,0.21100000000000002,0.6534,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,6,1,0,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,8,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,3,4,10,7,4,5,0,0,0,1,1,3,1,2,3,26,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26435476212122994,0.3263238568459184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32773090411169004,0.0,0.0,0.31232819199221434,0.0,0.0,0.25070503738757843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21112350837225574,0.14602854785945915,0.0,0.26393617490395943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541160156683878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44326448216821945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2989831507995941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19857738235759376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17429231361470127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,TheKatsMeow0_0,2020/04/09,"First night sober It’s my first day being sober and it sucks. I’m addicting to THC. I use it for insomnia, anxiety, and PTSD. I use to smoke joints and blunts to cope with my issues. It stopped working and I have a tolerance. I know weed isn’t hardcore but it was my crutch. I have not slept at all. I’m withdrawing. I have prescription coming in for prazosin to sleep and stop the nightmares. I guess it’s time to find other ways to cope. I’m sad that the thing that use to bring me peace is no longer working. Today is going to suck.",-0.035675675675676644,2.290084891891894,1.5410450450450457,97.1942702702703,91.97297297297294,5.122162162162162,18.210810810810813,6.742157984588678,0.0411989189189188,417,12,94,6,15,134,68,111,0.161,0.782,0.055999999999999994,-0.8689,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,4,0,3,2,0,3,0,8,4,2,3,1,18,22,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,10,7,0,2,2,0,0,3,3,3,0,2,2,0,11,0,13,19,1,14,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,1,8,56,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21067156914606708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14783610305954928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16646819362891366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463058487145333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17662745538589128,0.32875755206494056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982871224507022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21288721229758212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017033132745332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062054205103848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18135250250031826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258994922276592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19339006255820024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3231321412968914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12838704478010313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268592025542287,0.0,0.18317887720428436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5007191517967705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533932513206276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813773302709853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,FarvatheGreat,2020/04/09,"Not sure what I’m doing. I relapsed after 7months clean. I’d been abusing myself 6 consecutive yrs prior. So yea I’ve always had bad addiction issues. I was really bad a couple years ago. I lost 60lbs in 2 months, stopped living basically. I’m also bipolar, I do a lot of self harm cutting and burning and can’t stop I’m addicted. Anyway I somehow went off my meds and found myself dropping a grand on various substances. I’ve eaten one meal in the last 4 days and can’t convince myself to care. I slept 2 hrs over those 4 days. My entire heads pounding but I can’t stop. I turn around and go at it again. Worst thing is idek what this drug is cause it’s “new” but feels like meth cut with other shit tbh hoping fentanyl. Well its already gone and I’ve picked up again. 
Not sure what I’m hoping to get here. I wish I had friends or family I could talk to, but they’re beyond unsupportive.",0.6940089418777937,3.0692279016393518,2.6136537506209656,91.13958643815205,86.92349726775957,5.075906607054148,19.793591654247393,6.574015621080383,0.2590786885245904,698,21,145,8,22,232,127,183,0.182,0.6679999999999999,0.15,-0.4895,0,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,10,18,3,0,4,1,12,9,3,2,2,29,30,12,0,4,6,0,1,1,1,0,4,0,1,1,10,8,2,3,2,0,0,3,5,8,1,1,10,1,16,10,15,19,3,27,0,1,0,0,3,9,1,5,15,81,26,0,0.0,0.15960471453300965,0.0,0.2936990892774849,0.0,0.0,0.11940883992750526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14865154345155285,0.10772442850410058,0.11208627564725566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11991699837261975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22494795244283533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13734185811802438,0.13838028276685535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075518687025364,0.14904974995448558,0.0,0.17374859560421838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15621632269803404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12698893315603865,0.0,0.0681114573172203,0.09623407279742516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14769829809766788,0.10407360740406164,0.0,0.07037838334197892,0.0,0.07655658733080231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13824733286353472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675871261576232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14059818240568595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10980345965947734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06581060169158039,0.0,0.11894796417013485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14704763306749574,0.1145223186544232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14962812228732544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10752113283392734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13010000165874533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128034720918116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629618421823151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405278523520999,0.0,0.13827388742629082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3378610222532452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25391783135641555,0.0,0.0,0.10827166965142614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.089492754717178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14652156721381746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111697157348665,0.1248739146978498,0.0,0.0,0.15490537999603518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674631913605009
addiction,hollyh1344,2020/04/09,"CTS Russell Louisville, KY Participants and past employees, please talk about your experiences.",14.054615384615381,18.10694984615385,9.44923076923077,50.470769230769264,50.53846153846153,14.430769230769231,51.46153846153846,13.023866798666859,8.488600000000002,80,5,9,3,1,22,13,13,0.0,0.8390000000000001,0.161,0.3182,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5072286039757132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4950021606748748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5691978208340193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.416780331822242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,MDCOWE,2020/04/09,"The story of my drug use and what I’ve learnt. I have tried my best to Make this trigger free but I am still going to provide a warning just in case. 

I have been sober for nearly 4 months now, I remember one of my therapists telling me to write a story of my drug use and to and talk about why I chose to indulge and what I got from it. So I thought  I would share it with you guys as I feel my experiences  may encourage others who are thinking about stopping.

Through the ages of 16-19 I was using drugs everyday. My drugs of chose where  Weed, MDMA, ketamine, Cocaine and Xanax. I feel the best way to talk about my addiction is looking at the individual drug and what I used it for.

MDMD: The first “hard drug I used” at the age of 16. All the problems that I had inside my head at the time from my childhood, all the insecurities and worries were elevated by this drug. Up until this age I never really had a friends, MDMA made me feel like people wanted me around and enjoyed being with me. I fell into a habit of taking this drug way not often than I should have.

XANAX: I first encounter this drug shortly before I when to university, it was the reason I had to drop out. This drug I largely used as a way of numbing some of the same feelings I was using MDMA to avoid. After about half a year of daily use I finally decided that I didn’t want to live anymore and took 10 bars  (20mg) along with a glass of vodka. The next thing I remember is waking up in hospital. What stands out most from that hospital visit was when I looked directly into my parents eyes and admitted to them for the first time that I had a problem, this destroyed me. I decided to get a tattoo to remind my self of this point in time and how I got over it (I can post if wanted)I haven’t used Xanax since. Xanax took soo much away from me so quickly, the Thought of it still scares me, that’s possibly why i don’t feel the urge to use it anymore.

Ketamine: I used ketamine for its psychedelic side, I would often snort grams at once to achieve the state I wanted to be in. The escape I got from this drug was unmatched by any other substances I took. I used this drug everyday in excess for about 3 months and very often for a further 6. One time I was doing a load of CKs (Ket + Coke) and blacked out, when I woke up I found out that I had gone bat shit and attacked my dad. Sadly this is the drug I miss most out of them all, whenever I get the urge to get high it is usually for ketamine. 

Cocaine: This post is long enough so I won’t go into too much detail about this. Used it maybe weekly for a year and about monthly for about 2 years. Very selfish drug. It used to turn me into a complete prick, I thought I was the shit of course though. The main reason I took this drug was as a social aid, having no friends through my childhood made socialising difficult and daunting for me.


My Advice.
So many times I have told my self I’m not going to take substances anymore, and every time my down fall has been persuading myself it’s a “one of”. I realise now that my downfall directly to relapse is exceptions. Every time I get the urge to take something I remind myself, if I take this I’m going back to how I was, I’m trying not to kid myself into thinking I have a sense of control when I don’t. 

When I tell my self I’m going to be going back to my old ways, it’s easier to put the urges aside.

My therapist once said Deciding you want to quit is the hard part, Once you have truly decided Quitting is easy.

Thanks for reading, stay strong.",4.304546274580552,4.632524165975107,5.310183715196345,84.98558226592098,70.134163208852,8.112682662817969,28.027211497985448,7.967736418589885,1.5959215466955319,2744,89,583,33,46,905,298,723,0.11199999999999999,0.8170000000000001,0.07200000000000001,-0.9813,1,1,20,0,0,1,68.0,0,3,2,10,34,26,5,3,40,0,49,29,6,23,4,105,116,36,0,11,8,2,7,1,2,5,21,1,0,5,43,32,2,3,20,3,1,15,10,15,0,7,35,13,93,12,111,73,14,103,0,2,4,0,27,33,3,9,46,407,136,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04086712299878886,0.0,0.03663254353174232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025492919391107143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115331662019733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03337199808276764,0.0,0.04264766710867676,0.035220925244919536,0.057651449857444324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03189926895155246,0.0,0.07868205015174673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039305136952809364,0.0,0.04204563970241234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6521074024939228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03873481197737812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06317000291692547,0.0,0.0,0.0366701608806064,0.0,0.0,0.0947745296268096,0.026781218146516503,0.0,0.04106593955563408,0.0,0.09566104746462044,0.0,0.04110332469820087,0.057925803245389915,0.0,0.07834309750345017,0.0,0.12783073227140287,0.0,0.08994700730061321,0.0,0.0,0.03711871372550478,0.0,0.0,0.06716322615346837,0.0,0.038473192206944236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03960780997856689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.018314595122309728,0.0,0.0331023231577251,0.033175432076029084,0.06296044773483117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07094353041826636,0.025023328768854044,0.03800664071679734,0.03766143021198806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976696600529926,0.0,0.05511554120336222,0.0,0.028912822882512332,0.0,0.03986859092804421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03933703177359954,0.11976952115596112,0.07620790079969235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041625651023264,0.04059552257930005,0.0,0.025989248880257727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03543799065274069,0.04226174561020747,0.07180570212254203,0.0,0.0,0.07174132619374285,0.0,0.0376854895428593,0.0,0.07974556018243015,0.03749784159024178,0.0,0.02401557855319482,0.07708719193400895,0.0,0.0,0.08493250556656604,0.0,0.035659384335808585,0.0,0.03753172436555146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11732353084833005,0.0,0.0769611642837887,0.03101021025215225,0.0,0.0,0.03821398603937588,0.0,0.028859860546826863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0399568969848285,0.059875446317687375,0.03134139318553751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127443306305316,0.060262381498208735,0.06553179883284294,0.03451363466269298,0.0,0.08705221089973929,0.024905160063822682,0.04804120495675125,0.03683147185610986,0.08928313173586301,0.15301564266044845,0.0,0.0,0.035821100875549065,0.16660084237113265,0.05090337085853357,0.04077584934997905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4532826735343058,0.04128740189918032,0.061862551922102875,0.0884448595869079,0.11902395552117145,0.03007036921978679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06765363120465259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038070575884926704,0.0,0.053260368588007374,0.0,0.0,0.07242254313854796
addiction,Femalediction5,2020/04/09,"First time realization that I have a problem. So for the first time since I started using 4 years ago, I have finally acknowledged that I have an addiction to meth and that it has become a problem.

It took me so long to acknowledge this because I would always tell myself that I didn't have a problem because I don't use every day.

But I have done and said things that I normally wouldn't just so I could get high, and if that's not a sign of an addict, I don't know what is.

So now I'm motivated to get clean and stay clean, for as long as I can. Does anyone know any apps that will help me track my addiction and my journey? Or any websites?

I've already signed up for drug counselling, and I'm gonna call the local AODS (Alcohol & Other Drugs Service) for support next week.

I've told my close friends and family (some didn't even know I used meth at all), and I have an amazing support network established.

What else do I need to do to ensure I stay away from meth?

Thanks everyone, peace.",5.101911764705882,4.9693737990196105,5.789999999999999,83.83000000000001,68.36274509803923,9.15294117647059,30.235294117647058,8.841846274778883,2.1453411764705885,781,27,167,12,12,255,118,204,0.040999999999999995,0.7929999999999999,0.16699999999999998,0.9753,0,0,6,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,3,7,8,0,0,9,0,20,6,0,4,1,35,39,17,0,9,5,0,0,0,1,4,6,1,2,0,14,9,1,0,6,0,0,2,6,3,0,2,6,1,22,5,16,28,2,24,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,3,14,104,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3562576724538871,0.0,0.0,0.0965621320961378,0.11641576640338525,0.0,0.0,0.1202097766277454,0.0,0.09064060719277887,0.11802837135629285,0.0,0.1481557375855983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07616817108571322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234571564856876,0.0,0.0,0.13280854161969802,0.12030744200162155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123231194293386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697377647371776,0.0,0.0,0.0702524823557403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09532760773466034,0.11147581822506712,0.0,0.0,0.2526543461455367,0.0,0.0909991667904144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07194892126321344,0.0,0.09178037077528912,0.10408971879455288,0.0,0.0,0.1026919124715192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11933028287519196,0.0,0.18531594110370547,0.0,0.0,0.0841610171573044,0.0,0.11382552168008113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07301519141140525,0.11509321885613093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17959944033445946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928037559581968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08077210482220305,0.0,0.0,0.11585100170016965,0.0,0.1067307694737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3127012132624966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10361979942483568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09011013023080383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710301887215372,0.2322152066461282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472307314473371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09521184924369347,0.10029045559205137,0.0,0.0,0.07236994520584776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270388906968489,0.0,0.0,0.10408971879455288,0.1210280701142816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822482411766417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08737912011722918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07738255739934664,0.0,0.0,0.07014899007773986
addiction,Icutppl,2020/04/09,"Recovery I spent more than 20years numbing every emotion & feeling that I had...good/bad/indifferent, it didn’t matter. I never thought I was missing out but rather making everything so much better by avoiding & just not dealing. I realize today just how much I missed out on in my life...whether it be joy or pain or anger etc... Emotions are beautiful and feeling them only make you a stronger more complex being. I sit here watching my fave person in this world, my gramma, mourn the loss of my other fave person, my grampa. They spent 63 years together filled with mostly good, a little bad, & more love than I ever knew was possible. Her pain is heart breaking but so sublime bc it symbolizes their bond in this world and the next. I get to feel this with her and be here for her...& for that I’m forever grateful. I only hope that one day when my amazing husband passes (or vice versa) that we know a pain as prodigious as this.",4.7878920526986795,6.113312574585638,5.160441988950278,82.86329791755206,69.66298342541437,7.558181045473863,29.94517637059073,7.882392219407189,2.018076583085424,740,29,137,9,13,235,121,181,0.162,0.598,0.24,0.9559,1,1,0,0,0,0,38.0,1,1,3,2,10,17,1,1,5,0,8,6,1,3,2,34,24,14,1,2,9,1,3,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,12,8,0,1,8,0,2,2,3,11,0,1,7,4,23,6,17,14,7,20,0,4,1,1,12,9,0,5,7,93,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5264669906269681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20285099959996944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10743365248375236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783405136936358,0.12523409310969694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2732832174844006,0.0,0.0,0.13547533138372253,0.0,0.1098799532661666,0.10234686593876646,0.0,0.10917276576732717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18426232002960627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06346501604533705,0.0,0.0,0.20377282138970176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14394696799592033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065083374108712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675879125829162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08580049569605983,0.0,0.12174860081064864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963479393267657,0.0,0.1621693307955435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17859435321228004,0.0,0.09368803770230416,0.0,0.12918870167684518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08231375068826251,0.18477250774216292,0.3877698749800813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21213237041667535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13694339124835594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09643658163069092,0.0,0.0,0.115142902946402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822510655142517
addiction,accessmeanonomously,2020/04/09,Cocaine addiction I really need someone to talk to and i probably should have waited to post after i calmed down so forgive me. My friend relapsed and its a long story. I have experience addicts before and am related to one but never cocaine. Anyone with experience who can lend an ear is so much appreciated.,4.8452631578947365,7.289485456140351,6.866526315789473,66.13768421052632,71.63157894736842,9.472280701754386,32.452631578947376,9.888512548439397,3.957922105263158,249,12,38,7,5,87,45,57,0.0,0.821,0.179,0.8578,0,0,2,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,6,3,1,0,1,10,8,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,6,3,7,7,1,5,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,32,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5261375746975981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687329420647469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20534114918358207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4721044226691655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18643924134837506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135560334470344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17739416827642807,0.17893189096106327,0.1861168757771018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635211761001362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311129044080989,0.0,0.26017820457973284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15459246122258274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204465274882625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19395972190107805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,the_saas_guy,2020/04/09,"Am I right to assume by buddy is huffing canned air? And how do I help him if so? Got a super odd message from my friend tonight that went as follows:

***Him:***  *Gonna sound kinda dumb...but do you have any of those condensed air spray cans sitting around?* 

***Me:***  *Hmmm I might at my office have 1, why?*

***Him:***  *I need one like ASAP to clean my PC.  The inside needs a good spray down and I ran out .*

***Me:***  *Ahh okay I'm going to go in tomorrow I'll check for you*  

***Him:***  *Thanks buddy! Do you have anywhere close to you that’s open tonight? If you drop a couple off I’ll e transfer you or something?* 

I'm super naive but I didn't even know huffing canned air was a thing until a minute ago when I googled it and found this reddit. Does this sound sketchy? How do you help people in these situations? Is it recreational or a serious problem?",-2.6375939849624075,-4.935616614035085,-0.3852297410192147,102.65894736842108,162.5087719298246,2.021386800334169,13.2406015037594,4.568576756788152,-1.3187152882205515,633,18,142,4,63,205,114,171,0.059000000000000004,0.816,0.125,0.8764,0,0,1,0,0,0,63.0,0,7,0,2,6,9,0,0,7,1,16,0,0,2,0,22,30,14,0,5,5,0,0,1,1,2,0,2,1,0,9,7,0,0,3,0,1,5,1,2,0,1,6,2,23,7,17,22,0,26,0,0,0,0,15,13,0,7,7,86,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891309761906172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14509227721850332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899358454351586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360790434525095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18671298072439385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14092242392520335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339384866134201,0.16484158941632274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425150785232888,0.17895644352423765,0.1706436719155286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2860217380998816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172572060992684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423703428638216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263414938321258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3164078236960375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14457841802308852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14791712339350346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20415693135084184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18220847614556648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398258452103701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642551338552558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19643343986897205,0.0,0.0,0.14174706053524394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977870767514928,0.1925244273319286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Sophieistryingto,2020/04/09,"Living with an addict and not sure how to deal with it my bestfriend christopher is an addict, alcoholic, addicted to smoking weed, masturbation, addicted to cocaine and any high he can get. He had nowhere to go and so I asked him if he wanted to stay with me. I live alone in a nice appartment and love my aloneness, but during this coronavirus thing Ive been lonely, so It made sense to me. He pays some of my rent and we split food costs. So far, he’s been good, he hasn’t relasped. Ive been helping him take precautions, me and his parents have access to his money, I don’t keep any alcohol in my house, or weed. I’ve been encouraging him to talk about his cravings and not shaming him. I have set clear rules for staying in my appartment, no consumming heavy drugs or having any dealer come to my appartment. 

So far it has been good, he has been quite respectful of my space, but today he went out to “skateboard” and I immediately knew he was going to do something. I thought it was an odd time to go out. He came back high on weed. I called him out and asked him why? I don’t know what to do and also I feel like I cant trust him sometimes living with him. If he’s able to do this, what will he do when I am at work? should I trust him and let him live here? Also he works full time and is dependable money wise (so far)",3.923663003663002,4.432439553113554,4.891300366300367,87.0078663003663,71.05128205128204,8.264468864468865,26.521978021978025,8.344100000000001,1.4658483516483511,1030,31,228,15,18,337,142,273,0.066,0.8109999999999999,0.12300000000000001,0.9601,2,4,5,0,0,0,32.0,1,0,0,3,12,13,0,1,4,0,31,9,0,3,2,43,49,27,0,4,8,1,1,1,0,2,7,0,1,0,9,22,3,1,4,0,5,6,7,2,0,0,14,1,38,11,30,32,2,29,0,1,0,1,36,15,0,6,6,144,47,3,0.10299856206807058,0.0,0.0,0.4491345432518604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22014827797568687,0.0,0.2133508951229316,0.0,0.16473582574696102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101276625324358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925795034995939,0.0,0.0,0.07919953650853451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051730478011063,0.11780291587585355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.088724141105682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10618699484049723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944563211971355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052079167742134135,0.07358219332151543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12454627009405707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05381249757168932,0.0,0.17560936927823648,0.1727806142580385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06903776503772006,0.2176472716767623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188465117748982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09154985446416193,0.0,0.0,0.05660531606750738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10532300808068468,0.0,0.05031989476813127,0.0,0.36379846930895904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09296022359878194,0.09745972982985256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436771411856587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10955164910299954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792933251344584,0.1018682115517344,0.0,0.0,0.2195655255396182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09707492581124356,0.0,0.07744210034598173,0.08278634267412667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684276679460099,0.0,0.0,0.08176935323102087,0.12011857966877384,0.0,0.09763059353477878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060751220508472766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548069893553812,0.09294018186493078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14996835978501816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,IamASmileFace,2020/04/10,"First time browser here on this sub... NEED help quitting Nicotine and Vaping products. I have been vaping for around 9 months and I have been vaping around 2 ml of juice a day. It’s bad. Today I finished my puff bar and opened a new one and the flavor tasted like medicine. I hated it. It disgusted me even though it was supposed to be a cool mint flavor. 5 minutes after smoking it, I felt a small ache in the upper left area of my chest which I still feel. I am scared and honestly horrified at my behavior. I am truly addicted and I am ready to admit it. I am also ready to quit. I am a first time browser on this sub and found many of your stories very inspiring. I need help and would love to hear any and all of your mechanisms for battling the symptoms of quitting and withdrawal. Thank you all for anything and everything!",2.3093409090909103,4.528811278787881,3.664602272727272,87.15690340909094,78.63636363636364,7.03409090909091,24.85795454545455,8.07648339933343,1.5865227272727265,651,24,129,12,16,213,100,165,0.12300000000000001,0.688,0.18899999999999997,0.8353,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,3,0,5,7,11,3,1,8,1,12,6,1,0,2,24,22,13,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,9,14,2,0,5,1,0,0,0,5,0,3,5,8,19,6,19,15,2,22,0,0,0,1,8,11,0,0,12,88,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16536498059327365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12130679787142055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10315470752617592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12482831529119735,0.2700733210644255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12665518943799378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978277910594894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10019011144192226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13632959519054424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07669924918834377,0.0,0.14564662001183934,0.0,0.0,0.2580556381550356,0.0,0.16632074861835638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14976291457039462,0.0,0.0,0.1709661614092669,0.0,0.20334982195771287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16481211750803634,0.0,0.0,0.07410829157374665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13690655330190105,0.0,0.0,0.15379030730239995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121077869789719,0.0,0.0,0.22495309287347928,0.0,0.14650358162436805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278937453927388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4840243958092466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15186860282593045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114018912747306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15766445853988487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13965618588733794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14903509671791218,0.0,0.17690384223846808,0.0,0.1437848096768193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251605073637322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10775654330019092,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Pickled_Pepper7,2020/04/10,"Pot withdrawl I gave up pot recently because it filled a certain gap way to well and I feel like crap without it. I was a few days in but last night I couldnt handle the insomnia so I just smoked a little resin. Barely got buzzed and still couldn't fall asleep afterwards.

My question is did I just set myself back to square one in the withdrawl process? Or is there a certain threshold of highness you have to reach in order to do that? 

I don't want any bs like pot addiction can't happen. I didn't come here to get chastised about what I'm feeling but I'm confident this is an accepting and friendly place to go to for help :)",2.6164270613107803,4.375209317829455,3.5278224101479942,90.65739957716706,75.97674418604652,6.551374207188162,26.45595489781536,7.348242739294969,1.2344821705426354,498,19,105,6,11,159,89,129,0.054000000000000006,0.701,0.245,0.9754,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,9,8,1,0,7,0,12,4,2,0,2,19,23,7,0,3,6,0,2,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,4,0,0,4,6,1,1,1,5,3,11,7,15,16,1,21,0,0,1,0,5,7,1,2,9,66,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430178342118453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515945729369698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17141322235901127,0.0,0.13589115397969548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920275243823138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14376621835961478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254320758428355,0.1592554883717724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722289485620669,0.0,0.11646752012186007,0.0,0.12669168361093594,0.0,0.17829105080123428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971291475777786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494198866719966,0.23552928350622826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817111453839263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178168128557736,0.22342636145546765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091971525401645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15105768519372118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329059952531253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24972360639692004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.220108535921176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17802576030398842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13148514408891784,0.17694507080263094,0.0,0.0,0.2004336083608193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21488880852214307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,divtaur,2020/04/10,Quiting weed Hi im 20 and ive been smoking weed about 3 times a day for the past few years.  I got a job recently and so ive had to go sober.  I actually haven’t slept or eaten in the 3 days since quitting.  I feel like a baby for having such bad withdrawals from a low teir drug 😣,-1.5337499999999975,0.3452831250000017,1.5425000000000004,98.2525,92.75,4.45,17.375,5.985473137389443,-0.5269312500000001,216,6,55,2,8,76,50,64,0.102,0.853,0.045,-0.4767,1,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,6,0,6,3,1,0,0,4,11,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,5,1,5,1,6,6,1,9,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,7,27,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.23931809304179044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047644969264948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163180049804976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28439962561649645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12400031332612604,0.17519894081774348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13937509473605605,0.0,0.19614019948084446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649004303509827,0.0,0.2433620751616992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981149062675622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341085755974243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5216841744256755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421441342624988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20286440896712093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14300095566971546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792601093030492
addiction,sociobitch,2020/04/10,"i need help.. i was thinking about using a throwaway account but i figured there won’t be any judgement here anyways. to put it short & sweet i am pretty young & addicted to crack cocaine. i pay for it and sometimes get handouts. i would just quit but the problem is i am always around it due to my mother & her friends smoking it. yes, i live with my mother & grandma. my grandmother does not do any drugs, never has, and has no clue about this. my mother suspects highly that i am smoking and she does not condone it at all. her friends know i do but are hiding it from her to spare me getting into any issues. i don’t know what to do. i’m lost. i’m smoking everyday. i understand it’s wrong so in the kindest way possible i’m really not looking for a lecture. i just want help. any kind of help without the law getting involved. i am sorry for the long read guys, just in my head today :(",1.4021829163071615,3.618525945355192,3.0613977566868016,90.26878343399484,81.89617486338798,5.164106988783433,26.025021570319236,6.339386263674448,0.9765475409836064,700,30,141,6,19,231,109,183,0.131,0.725,0.14400000000000002,0.6652,0,0,2,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,2,10,7,0,0,6,1,16,3,1,1,2,30,31,7,0,4,10,3,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,1,10,6,0,0,6,1,2,1,8,3,0,0,2,2,24,4,19,26,1,15,0,1,1,0,14,7,0,0,6,94,34,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13120068035952145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014192185656297,0.5216023284610526,0.0,0.3273720411943672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10713817201043292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106404654645335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13956929775754548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18596623002779428,0.0,0.18863575913264571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11916670755122308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351515405924995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420068163415432,0.12715775507105367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12561548784041268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12532735768532433,0.1322838528740478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10627240189878268,0.1065071123241316,0.10106477985732867,0.0,0.13137765970724574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923896319551107,0.09282234116192564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13567800643574945,0.0,0.12244053809122167,0.0,0.11515993928410828,0.0,0.12098629668282015,0.0,0.1280084207529861,0.12038386770703392,0.0,0.07710012386974417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903051202276772,0.13472342585324246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07711625278593474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11407895908361587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12528994660923212,0.0,0.10394488073080553,0.0,0.0,0.07098631430727677,0.09552925920379757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160143574284964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549410971690548,0.1315852523234439,0.0,0.0
addiction,JoeyMcMahon1,2020/04/10,Hi! Any males can I see your feet? 😅🦶🏻,-8.065909090909091,-11.592921454545454,-2.7175,119.44375000000002,172.63636363636363,1.1,2.75,3.1291,-3.6852,28,0,11,0,4,11,11,11,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6491403186684521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7606686839084548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,pharmacist79,2020/04/10,Can’t stop I’m a recovering heroin addict 21 years old been doing dope for about 4 years and was clean till a couple weeks ago did one bag now I’m back to smoking crack doing  meth shooting dope lost my girlfriend because of the relapse and I’m at a point as to where idk what to do I’m just about to give up now at this point and just keep getting High till I die honestly just wanna go out and get a bun and shoot it all at this point just feeling very down rn girl won’t talk to me I got all this money and it still doesn’t make me happy at all,1.3480327868852484,2.594465114754101,2.9024262295081966,95.9831475409836,78.18032786885246,5.5357377049180325,19.577049180327872,5.6839178017228535,-0.3754878688524593,432,9,105,2,10,142,80,122,0.124,0.7879999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.5423,0,0,1,2,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,1,11,3,0,0,5,0,9,1,0,1,3,19,22,9,1,1,4,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,6,7,0,2,1,0,1,1,3,1,0,1,5,1,5,2,20,16,3,25,0,1,0,0,4,12,0,0,12,64,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070772933293923,0.0,0.0,0.1683822679370223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14606247414759968,0.0,0.11579385704257665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21017987401953914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971416862218297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09604616929979466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19848567004014356,0.18222065327554973,0.1079549203233644,0.0,0.1519231226157195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.202208974467997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006962439051459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16883934982936674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073566242307377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267953996100821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19932418701288826,0.0,0.1287173704266125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5387022119677468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15169706662154178,0.1588095856472624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526773838545246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15673148573313694,0.0,0.0,0.15236919583581793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24464758153893235
addiction,vickita14,2020/04/10,"Hubby broke quarantine to get weed Hi all, I am FROM Argentina where quarantine is mandatory. Today my husband lied to me and took the car (my car) and drove to our old apartment to get some weed he had left behind. He put himself at risk, not to mention he never washes his hands and I am 4 mo pregnant. If I confront him he says he's nor a child, he know what's he's doing and I should stop ""busting his balls"". I feel terribly ashamed and embarrassed of him and my lack of judgment when I trusted he wouldn't do such an idiotic thing. He could have the car decommissioned, thrown into jail or even get infected and get me infected too. I am locked up with what I can only describe as a selfish, childlike man. Not really know what to do, now he acts as nothing happened but I don't even want to see his face. I would leave if I could but so far I'm keeping my social distance - at least whatever possible when cohabiting. I'm so worried, all last week he would tell. Me breaking quarantine for such an idiotic reason was a huge risk and an idiotic one. I feel mostly ashamed of myself for trusting him. I am so depressed...",2.637266666666669,4.592098804444444,4.3210555555555565,84.12025000000003,76.51111111111109,7.522222222222222,28.13888888888889,8.395991825355821,2.100622222222222,881,38,176,17,20,296,131,225,0.203,0.7559999999999999,0.040999999999999995,-0.9846,0,3,0,0,0,0,27.0,1,0,0,0,12,15,4,5,8,0,19,5,2,1,3,37,35,21,0,10,7,1,3,0,0,4,3,1,0,2,4,10,0,2,5,1,0,7,6,13,0,1,4,5,29,2,21,25,6,26,0,2,1,0,27,9,0,5,9,117,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740118103328261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14779588180772624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266758437560157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17352877220122553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3586085199722517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15174228785478874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15252292355196434,0.0,0.0,0.18860998405145296,0.13987411434624045,0.0,0.18169600027338864,0.1864401848629832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13234586010159965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16465154526618042,0.0,0.18006174371406142,0.0,0.11627828269434247,0.13050693055376386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19344935964591994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17250195690564035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10992916230889736,0.17642986229293794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13646048677968592,0.0,0.0,0.13674025655508512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749211023372846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14346242339523338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14998297322575355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140011420886972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16265349236428508,0.0,0.1906501128137395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10121210804250452,0.0,0.13764442490229592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17426465518527168,0.0,0.2437945723511991,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,unironicirony01,2020/04/10,"Relapsing but functioning Pre May last year I went through several depressive episodes that resulted in an OD and an attempted suicide attempted. After these instance I sobered up with the help of my father and friends (rehab facilities in the country I was living in were extremely draconian). Since then I was accepting into uni and have been traveling fine ever since except for a manic episodes as a result of my bipolar. But two nights ago I got off at a bus stop near a train station where I noticed a needle exchange and dealers hanging around. I grabbed two injection kits and a baggy and went home and shot up. I never got the ‘rush’ but I felt functional, I lived day fo day rather depressed and now I just felt like I was cured of that. But I know I’m still depressed, as soon as it wears off I don’t have the craving but almost a need to fix myself again.",6.380479041916168,6.721497736526949,6.67988622754491,76.9156377245509,65.64670658682635,10.033293413173652,35.861676646706584,9.888512548439397,3.5378986826347294,690,32,127,14,10,223,110,167,0.124,0.78,0.096,-0.7783,0,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,0,2,9,7,0,0,13,0,9,3,1,2,2,31,18,17,2,2,8,1,3,1,1,1,2,0,1,0,4,11,0,1,4,1,1,5,2,3,0,2,11,3,17,4,23,6,0,32,0,3,0,0,3,12,0,2,16,91,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13694506368897744,0.0,0.15469828942099906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13752784960895245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992650837688043,0.0,0.3991831171960652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397440293646792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29666708839059674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935771926888886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24711772750583802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10355063440544833,0.0,0.15496493485298324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490304380955495,0.12592905002231314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547545931720782,0.0,0.27283300865903737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145515410550031,0.11915134201118432,0.0,0.0,0.14497734099411036,0.0,0.0,0.17588660469952644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745284518331882,0.0,0.2555895826988074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12337501272810965,0.12915961453268135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16898575139230948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30182635963526544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28642546417453096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948576844128908
addiction,fitifitifitifiti,2020/04/10,"Not sure what’s the point of this Hi everyone! Not sure how to start, but I just got out of an extremely abusive relationship and unfortunately weed has been (and still is) my only ‘coping mechanism’. It started in January, so it’s been more than a year, and only increased in severity because of increasing trauma and pain. Where am I rn is, I don’t think I have spent more than 2 hours sober the past two months, with the exception of a couple of days where I had to go to work. I can’t deal with the pain and anger I’m feeling, I can’t deal with thoughts and constant flashbacks. It also helps me with eating, otherwise I feel like someone is force feeding me and sometimes just throw up after eating. My typical day starts with me waking up, immediately smoking (since the thoughts are immediately there too) until I pass out. And then wake up and repeat. Most of the times I would wake up at like 4 am with terrible stomach pain and nausea and throw up literally nothing, would dry heave to a point where my back muscles are cramped and almost grovel back to my bed in shivers so I can smoke myself to oblivion again. This is pretty much my life for at least 4-5 months, with fluctuating severity, but this is a very accurate description for Feb and March. And April seems to be the same. First it was just day smoking and watching the same stupid tv series over and over again to distract myself instead of going to work, then I would stop for a couple of days because I would also get some ‘support’ from my ex who was pretty much my only friend and family, also the only person who knew I smoked (tho he never took it as an actual problem) until he does something to hurt me and it would be back to weed. I didn’t see a pattern back then because there were ‘good days’ in between and I was still somehow able meet my responsibilities and be okay, but now everyday is the same and I feel so disappointed when I wake up to a new day, because I have to exist. I honestly don’t know how I’m still employed because I have been just cancelling things, coming up with excuses and not meeting any of my deadlines. Whenever I am done with the weed I have, I tell myself I’m gonna take at least a week off but within an hour or two I find myself going to the bank so I can withdraw money to buy more. And then back to my bed, the same cycle starts again. Anyway, sorry for the extremely long rant, I guess this isn’t even ‘technically’ addiction but more of an abuse, but I figured this page might be the right place to post and maybe to learn something from. Sorry if this was not the right place post and you wasted time reading this. Stay strong and take care everyone!",6.442582608126678,6.023514182163191,6.767829614604462,78.90764705882357,65.62239089184061,9.621906693711967,31.455146240921287,9.035553425615538,2.4369759733036704,2102,70,417,31,29,682,247,527,0.139,0.7859999999999999,0.075,-0.99,1,0,4,0,1,0,47.0,0,1,0,4,37,22,2,1,28,1,44,14,5,2,3,89,75,52,0,7,17,1,3,2,1,7,6,0,2,1,17,38,3,1,12,2,4,10,11,11,0,3,17,5,47,11,71,47,17,91,0,2,2,0,17,29,0,9,51,304,64,5,0.06819769506312724,0.16160623376036584,0.0665511127458295,0.07434555397667672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829014046908019,0.0,0.0,0.16361301630850286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04637677124153793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621990895552717,0.0,0.20786340961180974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06953209525497439,0.0,0.0,0.058746275660278464,0.0,0.07369748068820904,0.0,0.0,0.1509189048929184,0.0,0.2638912287670232,0.14061765811868587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05968026252589969,0.06978991978356902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13956653524563262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04504393440141504,0.0,0.0,0.13033164036166872,0.0,0.0,0.06429071746608657,0.0,0.1034484112061366,0.048720446979641896,0.0,0.0,0.06233145778228037,0.05800892458188736,0.0,0.0,0.052689370034075055,0.0,0.03563048091442243,0.0,0.11627496516262405,0.05720099100122445,0.05454392671999001,0.0,0.07512744978816048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04571147745509936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13432198451528055,0.0,0.07300704306335627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037479669682888815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04817004886853815,0.06663589801841499,0.0,0.0,0.06035281407455788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06851375108414609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234697726959245,0.0,0.0,0.10886949911085028,0.0,0.10026630559752768,0.0,0.05259826668722478,0.06586575885870455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06543752771507769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20746968080537714,0.21770146752654748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06510241666779902,0.0,0.059547596821397764,0.14250415240297484,0.0,0.12893773055550686,0.0,0.13062908057273398,0.1387631467862834,0.0,0.06525598387551466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06821615032794975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732188022228986,0.0,0.1164809179160711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05434473337996745,0.06208462025917299,0.0,0.15408796743839967,0.0,0.05641383809175419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05778368571710237,0.10500383499504316,0.06744926422798027,0.1526834723912795,0.1930827183091664,0.07268966894523296,0.16338830211590233,0.05701632676341521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07738993617838666,0.12855104102085652,0.0,0.10255235875920216,0.0,0.05960779142026014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04530751826786476,0.04369832929421761,0.0,0.10828270424732467,0.0795332488452909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07577014853376103,0.0,0.0,0.13323847712801865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056270240667491665,0.0,0.0,0.05470407735808834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09929746847316942,0.0,0.0,0.24222842942692274,0.0,0.0,0.043917079671391634
addiction,mtbuckin,2020/04/10,"I'm changing my life and I'm going through physical discomfort first, any advice for the first few days? The mental game is a given, I can't stop thinking about it. However, I know the next few days and nights are going to be a nightmare for my body. I'm all alone on this except for you guys. Do you have any advice on how to handle the first week? Nutrition? Activities?",1.0742666666666665,3.540942293333334,2.921333333333333,88.96066666666668,86.06666666666666,6.0,20.333333333333336,7.3871296695380915,0.7923333333333336,292,9,59,5,9,97,51,75,0.08,0.893,0.026000000000000002,-0.5956,1,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,3,2,1,0,1,6,0,6,2,1,1,1,8,14,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,2,1,0,2,1,1,0,3,1,0,6,0,10,12,3,13,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,9,39,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3899105179370044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20662837115069213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713422668808093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22160653701860852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110512243746628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573301328326501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5090999008983159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22676806933075944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975426150975026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964345146768503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14091720818246273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20105543798830405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121772260326706,0.1872231587698727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16679621003181544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12783558894001906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16003192935380606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,arpanghosh8453,2020/04/10,"Can Anybody help me to get out of a subreddit addiction, please?  First of all, forgive me if I am in the wrong place to post this or if this sounds really silly to you.

To introduce myself, I am a 19 y/o college student.

I was being bored by the lockdown in my home and I had some skills in Creative Softwares. So I joined [r/slavelabour](https://www.reddit.com/r/slavelabour/) and I was surprised with a lot more personal income ( It's a really great subreddit for freelancers). I was working there for about 2 months and earned a lot ( at least for me it is a lot ).

There is nothing wrong with it even now. but the problem is I got addicted to it. I keep checking for new tasks there more than ever. I cannot stop myself from it. I tried it many times before...but failed. I cannot concentrate on other things or I cannot learn anything new due to this. I am unable to keep myself busy with other things...I tried that too.

Is there any way I can overcome this? can anybody give me good advice for this?",2.122121212121211,4.433023686868687,3.1103939393939406,90.39559090909094,79.8080808080808,5.980202020202023,22.526262626262625,7.1686216300943375,0.7692698989898994,782,25,159,10,20,249,112,198,0.073,0.8240000000000001,0.10300000000000001,0.3432,1,1,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,1,0,5,10,10,0,0,9,0,18,2,0,0,2,24,23,9,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,1,15,7,0,3,2,0,1,0,3,5,0,1,5,1,24,5,27,17,8,18,0,1,0,0,5,7,0,8,9,119,39,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3221163572827612,0.0,0.14436961320713373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046812361870766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12157725917267165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975807381273887,0.13363909859086828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12566739015805795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07718794269787306,0.14172546905333214,0.0,0.12391712663852593,0.11816100659128086,0.16288364037534087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902686721837416,0.0,0.14819505563920485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626358277076531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37680925946983895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497849586893143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11792449109931795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28537602019734193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14176031335904218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290006863024292,0.15435663605423572,0.16217392432533356,0.0,0.0,0.14149388005934352,0.0,0.0,0.14136702662460268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892917855221269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235170800424499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981517519295451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614825981707501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20061123944117906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726896882061336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755632691233773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3230605362290313,0.0,0.0
addiction,HomieFusion,2020/04/10,"I have a loaded revolver I struggled with meth addiction for many years. I finally got clean off of it. I thought getting clean would be amazing. But now i just got stuck in this cycle of depression. I hate what I've done in my life, and I hate what I'm afraid I might do if i fall back into drugs.  This has only led me to alcoholism. 
I've been drinking every single day even though i pray to God to save me.
I sat for an hour with a full glass of tequila(not my alcohol of choice) deciding wether or not to drink it. I weighed the pros and cons. But i still drank it. I spent an entire hour telling myself ""i dont want it,"" but i still drank it. Yet here i am, drunk and hating myself. 
I need help, please help me",1.1971428571428575,2.997170200000003,2.5912380952380967,95.568,80.33333333333334,5.885714285714287,20.714285714285715,6.868970318607317,0.1970285714285711,550,15,128,6,14,178,96,150,0.126,0.732,0.14300000000000002,0.3693,0,0,7,1,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,9,8,3,2,5,0,10,11,0,1,0,21,25,9,0,4,7,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,2,0,9,6,8,0,2,3,1,2,2,6,0,0,10,0,25,2,16,12,2,17,1,1,0,0,3,5,0,3,10,85,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15902605919742854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3117935470480295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11216941890085128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09407776686675844,0.0,0.12564253782426948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14928150133049478,0.17096524917111702,0.2858053264864527,0.16916951456741605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09634953262775743,0.0,0.12290657974218586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15979971320628145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762140392269772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333402673185936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43206619743684266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19555483094677165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2873163856946207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10303633012559593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14789507684952358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547510789096888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10816499278021163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110945053122403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16012772718276355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23299306562077285,0.0,0.0,0.15250096820554682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275018028650378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14332214733813614,0.11580902162014148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860412750170394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10362592111272838,0.0,0.0,0.09393917642730702
addiction,PrudentPick,2020/04/10,Sponsor /friend? Addict/ alcoholic,14.561666666666667,6.107618500000001,11.48,15.131666666666687,239.0,20.533333333333328,101.33333333333331,7.793537801064563,21.175433333333334,30,4,1,2,3,9,4,4,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6371494792983421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6246117685139978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4515536287792045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Julliette_Fowler,2020/04/10,Nicotine addiction I vaped for 3 years all day everyday. On Tuesday I quit. It has been 4 days now and I feel so amazing (besides the withdrawal). I knew I needed to quit because I am so young (junior in highschool) and I have my whole life ahead of me. When I vaped I noticed that it was hard to workout and breathe. I would get serious heart palpitations and I had to go to the hospital once. I’m glad to say that I’m leaving this quarantine healthier and happier. I do keep on reaching for my vape though even though i don’t have it anymore. I know over time the withdrawal will end and everything will get easier,2.7328603104212843,4.737957422764231,4.216437546193646,84.74886917960093,76.39837398373984,8.375166297117516,29.881005173688106,9.095868883498916,2.702323577235772,485,23,98,12,11,161,81,123,0.023,0.83,0.147,0.9356,0,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,7,3,0,0,3,0,12,4,2,0,1,13,22,11,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,6,6,0,1,3,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,4,3,17,2,13,15,2,16,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,11,66,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.208529356047158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18970374895803493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11660582411078806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467265584280669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16942211653403216,0.0,0.0,0.12634222400850248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17191501243649818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671966207817764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19987748677119174,0.0,0.10871191937661924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17135417509384585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266741583331851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17002328130363534,0.0,0.0,0.10512547107100532,0.0,0.0,0.20254365341812186,0.0,0.0,0.13511055784812112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14183572431547584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217779732556968,0.0,0.20371274256708516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4069112061780044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15211785343643014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37587393214106257,0.0,0.11154007387751687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135633540174417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358836828912645,0.0,0.0,0.12318154689142576
addiction,EAS893,2020/04/10,"Just Dropped Mom Off at Rehab... Hey guys.  As the title says, we just took my mom to rehab.  She's been dealing with alcohol addiction for a few years now.

I think I just kinda need to rant about it.

I knew she was drinking, and it's a relatively new thing for her.  She was never a teetotaler.  She was a typical social drinker when I was growing up.  She would get a margarita or something like that when she went out with friends maybe a few times a month.  She didn't drink other than that, and I never saw her drunk that I know of as a kid.

As far as I know she never really had any problems with it until a couple of years ago, but it got bad fast.

I didn't realize how bad it had gotten.

When COVID 19 was first coming to the U.S. I decided to move back in with my parents until it passes as I can work from home, and they live in a much more rural area than me with a much lower infection rate for COVID 19 (don't hassle me about this.  I know I risked them by travelling to them.  We all knew the risks and accepted them.)

It wasn't until I was consistently around her that I saw what the addiction had done to her.  She was basically living off of alcohol.  I seriously don't know when the last time she had anything to eat that wasn't either liquor, the mixers she used for liquor, or some other type of alcohol.

It was insane.

She decided to go to rehab on her own.  She saw a doctor for an unrelated reason a few days ago, and she decided to tell them everything about her alcohol problem.  A few days later, we got her admitted to a facility.

I know she wanted to go, and she knew it needed to be done, but she was still so nervous about it.  She drank today up until right before we got to the facility.  We didn't try to stop her.  We just let her do her thing.  

When she got checked in, the first thing she did was blow a breathalyzer.  

She blew a .32.

I know for sure that she was nowhere close to as drunk as I've ever seen her.

I didn't know it was that bad.

I'm so happy we took her.  She needs to be there, but I am so worried about her.",2.587041083916084,3.6064968554778614,4.381561043123543,87.52695694930071,74.61771561771563,7.879982517482518,22.963359557109555,8.376592526197632,1.1027254662004662,1577,41,357,27,32,536,186,429,0.099,0.8440000000000001,0.057,-0.9679,2,0,8,0,0,0,52.0,7,0,5,3,24,14,0,3,26,0,35,19,0,3,6,68,70,31,0,7,10,3,0,1,1,1,11,1,1,2,25,22,12,1,18,8,1,10,11,9,0,2,42,5,71,5,63,24,11,59,0,0,4,0,60,15,0,4,34,265,96,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828805461293173,0.0,0.0,0.14870699062998055,0.3585637124601692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0570404603819861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690251055300682,0.07466991541078077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06449761973328065,0.21010588334451702,0.0,0.0,0.07137468090375214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07225415913361513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09281029688982467,0.0,0.10818977386504702,0.08647535977820024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08585350613242711,0.0,0.1716742691613322,0.0,0.1643385821741959,0.0,0.08582895284869743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587317682558317,0.0,0.0,0.07538485697693606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269452899951549,0.0,0.0,0.06480455287255134,0.0,0.043823211072742785,0.0,0.09534051014796388,0.0,0.26834215559732183,0.0,0.0,0.08305319948677667,0.0,0.08929054240662987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413727554099833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3226831643323548,0.06837241722067908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577175604583527,0.0,0.040978944837939735,0.0,0.1481330344055128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426752875879796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19647567378567746,0.06695125797456435,0.0891498900462425,0.1233211385565665,0.18658520230788656,0.19407750476039556,0.08101066780052964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931374811036796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605213671970745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05373490717159059,0.08624137647813418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716320369635622,0.0,0.06670378847327031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550387357664355,0.0,0.06457399825008542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06698571809569152,0.07012643271211713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07905477641192163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331376837893658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16717604297878774,0.05374614821467558,0.0,0.0,0.0978208057258454,0.0,0.07950729478653068,0.0,0.18638486638354745,0.05694819930624725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724443520540666,0.0,0.0,0.04947388951279938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775648802122194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06106476545096703,0.08518299305653777,0.0,0.05958509297750289,0.0,0.0,0.10803039435590814
addiction,iZaya-11,2020/04/10,"A 17 Year Olds Story of Addiction (Need to get this off my chest)  I'm 17 years old, soon to be 18. Before I got addicted to cocaine and adderall, I was a victim of addiction itself. 

My two brothers were never around growing up, because they were busy popping pills. The pill popping quickly turned into full blown addictions to Meth and Heroin. One brother is now 2 years clean from Heroin, but still slips up on Oxy's here and there. The other is doing time in prison.

  
My father was a cocaine addict and alcoholic, and my mother was addicted to Adderall. My grandfather was an alcoholic, and my uncle was addicted to Xanax and also an alcoholic.  
I was always the good kid growing up. I had great grades, a sweet heart, and a poetic talent and spirit. However, I was never happy. Ever since 12 years old, I'd had suicidal thoughts. Ever since Grade 1, I'd always been bullied by other kids and never accepted in any friend groups.  
I always was intelligent, but hated myself. I never loved myself for who I was because I felt as if nobody else did.

  
 So, at 12 years old I'd smoked weed for the first time and LOVED it. At 13 years old, I became a daily pot smoker and LITERALLY did not stop at all until just 4 days ago at 17. My dad supplied me with weed to, ""stay off of the other drugs,"" but really I ended up just being unhappy with only smoking weed and got into harder stuff.

  
 Freshmen year, age 15, I got expelled from higshchool. I drink half a jar of moonshine not knowing how strong it actually was. I ended up calling the cops on myself thinking it would be funny. After that, I entered a HUGE depression because I had no friends, my family thought I was a loser, and all I had was Mary Jane to get me through those days.  
Throughout the 3 year span from then and now, I'd tried a handful of drugs. Spice, Oxy, LSD, Adderall, Vyvanse, Cocaine, MDMA, DXM, Alcohol, Xanax, came DANGEROUSLY close to trying meth and heroin, and smoked massive amounts of pot. I also got super hooked on first cigarettes, but enjoyed vaping high nicotine e-liquid better.  
But something about the stimulants hooked me. And that happened just at the end of last year.  
I kept on rationalizing to myself that it was just recreational and that I would do it, ""just one more time.""

  
 One more time turned into 8 straight months of hell and addiction to a level I've never before experienced. Doing line after line, popping pill after pill, and watching litterally 100s and 100s of hours of porn while geeked out of my MIND. It is still somewhat triggering to talk about it, because the memories of being high bring back such STRONG feelings within me.   
But I am now 10 days clean of any adderall or cocaine. I am 4 days clean of marijuana. And tommorow, I know it's finally time for me to put down nicotine and, the least harmful (but still harmful) drug of my choice, caffeine.  
I make rap music, play guitar, write poems and songs, listen to music, and spend time with my recovering brother (who gives me such great motivation to stay clean). This helps me stay sober.  
But there's definitely times throughout the day where I don't feel like doing anything but laying in bed wallowing in my sorrow.  
I know this withdrawal is not permanent, but I also know that I will always have the addict inside me, and that recovery is a LIFELONG proccess.   
Thank you so much for listening to my story, it means the world to me:)",5.7240154039843,6.608990093312599,6.3281481892912685,76.96084110938313,67.19595645412129,8.798770643560694,30.395060356957718,8.909455092898707,2.534985662445384,2662,97,472,43,42,869,308,643,0.12,0.74,0.141,0.9472,1,0,19,0,0,0,99.0,0,1,1,8,31,29,4,0,28,0,42,29,3,5,9,91,75,49,1,4,20,6,4,1,2,3,22,3,5,2,26,37,5,2,13,5,1,6,10,10,0,7,31,11,57,19,78,37,9,106,2,3,1,3,24,37,1,3,61,324,83,4,0.0,0.0,0.05068629828500827,0.5096039258541093,0.0,0.0,0.0460419947038982,0.22203379249573546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12461005993385713,0.17287415949652424,0.0,0.0,0.0706424510021883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04274249017867883,0.046237931859412884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03993893028960338,0.0,0.1266494439828375,0.0,0.08839484051802063,0.0,0.0,0.04593702699852383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05303691422513394,0.059405934081075425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674861744632123,0.0,0.04473615544008378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050881778308174586,0.1807029807849739,0.0,0.04338950543523663,0.0,0.1380112251321427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09396605743340608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04896474826632352,0.0,0.05252521268907975,0.037106203131724656,0.049870890357620684,0.05689812489521465,0.0,0.08836088633948035,0.0,0.0,0.0802579856537008,0.0,0.05427338805179882,0.04982592559088024,0.0,0.04356510916893458,0.16616580100913758,0.1145288592025671,0.0,0.0,0.045930688279508566,0.055291478405661655,0.0,0.051280351659178484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061549575969077966,0.03481452804833516,0.10975568285407664,0.0,0.0,0.05115079141785215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418025266839918,0.042338325296357136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02537543599270945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09375640448647354,0.0,0.03467059322130956,0.0,0.0,0.05657827822196607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05244495645936793,0.0,0.041458299331124285,0.0,0.03818214049148682,0.03851311835931727,0.2002980359445724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27251334939373384,0.0,0.10558839526437012,0.03950298384400713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05221440721798203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03327432423893116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593120406089688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039986226240537735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660845366989359,0.12443891432674273,0.043424466191619986,0.0,0.0,0.05945928488798795,0.056814322919367916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04174769341783796,0.0,0.04781970452582266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033281285042105146,0.0,0.08246968713428718,0.21200788880577945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705281891522901,0.1129923919495596,0.0507381839019229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379388214849329,0.0,0.0,0.3010309966835395
addiction,PlethoraOfBliss,2020/04/11,"New music video about the road to Recovery Hey guys - I just completed my first music video, Change It All, which is a song I wrote about my journey in recovery.  I hope it makes you smile, just spreading some love \^\_\^

 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wu1Iy2mRIXM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wu1Iy2mRIXM)",10.741937984496126,15.760066488372095,3.94453488372093,79.54687984496125,70.16279069767442,6.587596899224807,21.12015503875969,7.793537801064563,1.2714062015503882,261,6,35,4,6,61,34,43,0.0,0.7829999999999999,0.217,0.8738,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,0,1,4,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,1,1,7,5,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,6,2,4,4,2,5,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,2,2,21,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39696167799216736,0.0,0.3934394471378002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3191849933194123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3715536273073601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37270504175004815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3386751602365509,0.0,0.25048035446831474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3624159894847963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,daisychaindaydream,2020/04/11,"At what point is it addiction? I like smoking weed. I like drinking. I don’t think I’ve not been stoned / drunk in over two weeks. If that’s the case, then I abuse prescription drugs to feel sleepy etc. Is this addiction? I feel like it isn’t on the extent. I used to do cocaine and mdma socially but I got a neurological condition so I can’t do it anymore. But I really like being in a state that isn’t sober. Sober is boring. Is this addiction?",-0.12664715719063935,2.1956487934782603,2.3047826086956533,91.14322742474918,93.67391304347824,6.309030100334447,19.03344481605351,7.61054688173877,0.8403267558528436,347,11,76,8,13,118,57,92,0.066,0.8079999999999999,0.126,0.4603,0,0,3,0,1,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,4,0,12,7,0,1,0,9,17,6,0,1,4,0,2,4,0,0,5,0,0,0,8,1,2,0,3,2,0,0,5,1,0,1,2,2,9,4,7,14,2,9,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,1,6,49,17,0,0.0,0.22503939493856465,0.0,0.6211645959682138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18836237226398767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18606190608894396,0.2202618315026175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118253584582053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19207153357466794,0.13568808150919204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519066682148038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3711664289754576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17954795550763694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12167586113479907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19361264391091226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12170131504677945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855368173475663,0.0,0.0,0.16404101885545666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523526931218642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Magyarmonster,2020/04/11,"Funny Podcast that Touches on Fatherhood, Addiction Life before it and After, Sex and More! Check this podcast out that touches on Alcohol addiction and what would be considered sober. It's Funny and does span the spectrum from Sex to Addiction. 

[Forgetting Fargo  ](https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5e91f009d64b2)",12.062666666666665,17.10546993333334,7.324444444444445,58.58000000000001,60.77777777777778,10.711111111111112,37.888888888888886,10.355215969177356,5.8546888888888935,277,13,27,8,5,74,33,45,0.0,0.873,0.127,0.7263,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,7,0,0,0,7,2,4,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,6,5,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,6,0,1,5,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,1,20,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8638998756690109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28230007070181706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22477542222220387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311627645870753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865796361387225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876472757927722,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,aw8250426,2020/04/11,"Save Your Life From Alcohol Addiction in Fort Lauderdale Alcoholism is a crippling disease, but modern clinical treatments have proven astoundingly effective at helping people with their drinking problems. Contact DrLeeds for more information!  [https://drleeds.com/alcohol-addiction-treatment-broward-county-and-fort-lauderdale-fl/](https://drleeds.com/alcohol-addiction-treatment-broward-county-and-fort-lauderdale-fl/)

 \#AlcoholAddictionTreatment",37.95,48.37190066666666,21.867777777777786,-40.345,0.6666666666666714,14.8,62.0,13.023866798666859,11.000566666666668,408,18,16,9,3,100,36,36,0.075,0.638,0.287,0.8733,0,0,6,0,0,0,37.0,0,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,6,0,1,0,6,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,5,2,1,3,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,12,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284754836373158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8959183396270014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053107224207978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047850020199598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14803407363841864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14529787691351378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20054181694394785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,bly555,2020/04/11,"How do I quit weed? Every time I decide to quit I relapse. Why do I feel so weak to it. I feel like I can’t live without it. I’ve been using for 6 years, haven’t been sober more than a day in three years. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This drug is consuming me",-2.5908531746031755,-0.921400124999998,0.11166666666666814,105.34444444444445,103.82142857142857,3.203174603174604,11.579365079365079,5.033348758259628,-1.7139301587301587,187,3,50,1,9,63,40,56,0.251,0.705,0.044000000000000004,-0.9143,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,2,5,3,0,1,0,7,5,0,2,0,6,13,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,2,2,7,1,6,11,1,5,0,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,5,28,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13835644998735527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487909126795192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18075384460709568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21694930897380055,0.15326287540655326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5949986801770728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10481030007655308,0.0,0.18943713471262646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4563658675867712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12509629081961887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852881841556933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935832416844016,0.0,0.0,0.2068027734774724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27630526102146363
addiction,catsnjoy,2020/04/11,"I’m addicted to sleep aid I work night shifts at a restaurant and I get home at usually 1am. When I get home, I don’t feel sleepy and usually stay awake for long hours, and I hate it. I decided to try out sleep aid to help me out at night and now I feel like I don’t use it for it’s actual purpose. 

I like the way sleep aid makes my body feel sometimes, that numbness and almost that out of body experience. It upsets me that I enjoy the way they make me feel, but I can’t seem to stop taking them. Sometimes it makes me feel silly to say that I’m actually addicted to them.. I don’t know, I think I have mixed feelings about all this.",1.1463043478260886,2.6319437028985533,3.1747101449275377,92.7842391304348,79.3623188405797,6.918840579710146,20.92028985507246,7.793537801064563,0.5715681159420285,493,13,119,8,12,167,73,138,0.069,0.861,0.07,-0.2144,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,3,1,3,7,1,1,3,0,5,8,5,4,1,26,24,7,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,0,3,1,2,0,10,8,0,1,10,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,7,22,4,16,24,1,18,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,2,11,65,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.2357081552098163,0.2633142054712292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093368814479225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26829644064040603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11813621278240193,0.0,0.0,0.3663895787574637,0.08627809667456462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261946581968064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11923535054907228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08094957077582281,0.0,0.242284270563432,0.0,0.11893410142943985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637202170132467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11800422220328932,0.0,0.0,0.10687763044297513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418446950576173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22666888702472016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096041134147425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10994445249984718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3625715909955365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23888919336563566,0.0,0.0,0.1287247279795996,0.0,0.10096910963436036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080399372083216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07738452565796182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08199488775989515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10430648533007947,0.2660221378288893,0.0,0.0,0.1917231748918868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08792198261283908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,throwawayhelp77655,2020/04/11,"I think my sister is on the path to become an addict. How can I help and get through to her? This was originally posted or r/relationship_advise but I thought to post here too in case someone here had  good insight. 

My sister (F24) has always been a trouble maker and has experimented with drugs (weed) from an early age. As we’ve grown out of that rebellious stage I thought she had matured and stayed away from any hard drugs and was getting her life together. However a few months ago she mentioned she had tried coke. This alarmed me because although I support weed use ( to a certain extent) that’s where I draw the line. She has an addictive personality (smokes weed daily and although it’s not physically addictive I believe she’s physiologically addicted  and I have spoken to her about cutting back on that) and so I told her to please stay away from it. However, she admitted to not only doing it more times but also dwelling on pills and other hard drugs she would not tell me about. Me and my brother had a bit of an intervention a couple weeks ago.The biggest problem during that conversation was getting her to understand it was INDEED a big deal (she was saying it wasn’t , it was only a few times, she wasn’t addicted to it ...ect). Although she would not  promise she wouldn’t do it again I really thought we got through to her. I was wrong. Tonight she came home in what looked like a drunken stage but she did not smell of alcohol and it just looked...off. I’ve seen her drunk and it wasn’t quite it. She wouldn’t tell us what it was. The worst part ...she drove home in that stage. I am at a loss. I cannot fathom how an adult can make such a reckless decision that can have so many devastating consequences. She could’ve killed herself, she could’ve killed someone else , she could’ve ruined too many lives (she could hardly get in her room that’s how bad it was). I’ve tried talking to her, making her understand, show her that we are loosing sleep over her decisions. I talk to her calmly , I talk to her like a friend, I play nice and I play tough too and NOTHING seems to get through and I just don’t know anymore. Dealing with her poor choices has been something I’ve dealt with MY ENTIRE LIFE. Preventing her from getting in trouble and hiding it from my parents has been a full time job since I was born and I am exhausted. I feel like she’s too old to be doing this and that she should know better, I mean when is it gonna stop? I am beyond worried, and now that she came home like this so are my parents because it’s now apparent to them there is a problem. I know my sister better than anyone yet it seems nothing I do gets through. What am I doing wrong? How do I make her understand this is not ok? Help me understand, thank you.

Ps: in case there are questions about why she was out (most places have a stay at home orders at the moment due to COVID-19) my city allows for people to go on runs as long as there’s social distancing. She often drives to a woody area to run or will walk there so it wasn’t strange that she went out during quarantine but I don’t think she was there tonight. I think it’s likely she broke quarantine and drove somewhere else",2.911259041591318,4.920174606012658,3.654783001808319,88.96069620253164,75.88291139240506,6.6028933092224245,24.73508137432188,7.514486670522907,1.0917340867992764,2509,85,517,33,56,795,267,632,0.162,0.7509999999999999,0.087,-0.9949,6,2,6,0,0,0,70.0,3,1,1,4,35,36,3,2,24,1,63,16,1,11,1,89,105,41,2,8,14,6,4,5,1,7,13,1,5,2,39,29,3,2,22,4,1,11,15,18,0,0,35,8,91,18,63,61,9,70,0,3,2,0,75,27,0,7,28,352,130,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3372395484827756,0.0,0.0,0.10968882024406318,0.06612068208002274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04947776681045759,0.05148116064423107,0.0,0.0,0.04207401937846006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061358849283196085,0.04326124871715637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162586260559058,0.047574547686848635,0.05165923129048137,0.07543128932828265,0.06833103771259179,0.0,0.06970679650190392,0.0,0.10943874889419468,0.06754649384974629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14152659689824534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975940407793571,0.06845846270722457,0.0,0.0,0.12757140944172085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21525019609121354,0.0,0.10336962359629302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06052116024185475,0.0,0.0,0.03128355238508953,0.04420025317572565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04780094682113131,0.0,0.22627325124785536,0.0,0.035162395645604964,0.051893987861256465,0.04948344113569349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16627127921371035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294090066111777,0.0,0.24824437515800696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061396862819547864,0.0,0.13690094526751806,0.0,0.10200712380277288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08740183998583309,0.15113385373067784,0.0,0.05463273015706526,0.05475339056469724,0.051955585341784655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12389699312762212,0.12545382609937736,0.0,0.06739504477943907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04938439322841975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187327075799852,0.0,0.0649226168153528,0.0,0.0,0.0941105119757674,0.0,0.0,0.13739959876111818,0.06699965498168882,0.0,0.042893171403547765,0.05402287989294557,0.0646414391213984,0.06791516143608425,0.0,0.0,0.11850955381915393,0.0,0.0,0.11840330651046993,0.0,0.0,0.06930905012787965,0.0658068264561363,0.0,0.0,0.03963578678182005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049201855490763065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126490458891271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051179865556485064,0.0,0.061915119959033836,0.06306911987921507,0.10484524245804692,0.04763088578746391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978369639331208,0.0,0.0517264564330846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702098396955857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14918734304508033,0.10815497949443116,0.056961986634053004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893223510250585,0.0,0.14735465001841674,0.10823144961043066,0.0,0.0,0.05911985478294686,0.0,0.08401193206133882,0.0,0.0,0.2576372311981667,0.07442251885000556,0.05343619339274085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04962873329102117,0.0,0.0,0.05735451575771412,0.05582844684553257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06283243291822828,0.0,0.08790196782473833,0.13529122245082895,0.0,0.0
addiction,nancydownsisgod,2020/04/11,"advice my fiancé is in rehab because he failed a drug test (cocaine) and smoked marijuana. we've been talking, and he admitted to me that he lied about a lot of his drug use and told me he injected cocaine. i was shocked, and i tried to understand his addiction without being upset (personally), but now i feel indifferent about our relationship. i don't know what to do. i'm happy he's being honest now, and he trusts me enough to tell me about his addiction. although, i'm hurt because i wish he would've told me the truth months ago. i feel guilty for giving up on him, while he's in rehab and obviously, trying to better himself and our relationship. i want advice from people in a relationship with an addict, or someone that has been in his position. 

this is my first relationship with someone who is an addict, and i don't know how to help him in his recovery or when/if i decide to give up.",6.259999999999998,6.047002259887009,7.446333333333339,73.20170338983056,65.9491525423729,10.469830508474576,32.389265536723165,10.125756701596842,3.1354004519774,708,26,135,15,10,242,98,177,0.085,0.732,0.184,0.9628,1,0,5,0,0,0,23.0,2,0,0,3,6,9,0,1,6,0,12,8,0,2,2,28,27,14,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,8,0,0,1,5,10,0,0,7,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,5,2,26,5,24,20,2,14,0,2,0,0,32,8,0,3,6,92,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4954680538750918,0.0,0.22206426242318125,0.1007208869457309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385283631950793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049126091727673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26353570786047303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11740404327102927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490349284561635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09664858028696427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21799713286446948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120954940839856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07615982248763123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12163692248874775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12488964036429046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965991254664065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09069365275651052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787726271112743,0.09921215974559948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4879589363988817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19254662031951691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09132672761084963,0.09931244987445333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171453461379901,0.0,0.15428657710812638,0.0,0.0,0.118286669410715,0.0,0.09813471931861292,0.0,0.0,0.067018423428167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13066207891591994,0.10952955377051687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08071528296031551,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,latte_no_,2020/04/11,"I can drink one of these daily Coworker said I smelled like alcohol, also a sharp 
pain on my lowerr ight side. How much time do I have left

[alcohol ](https://imgur.com/xcE7JMV)",3.8679032258064514,7.1253208709677445,3.800241935483872,81.62036290322581,82.2258064516129,8.261290322580646,23.87903225806452,8.841846274778883,2.4778967741935483,141,5,24,4,4,43,28,31,0.107,0.812,0.081,-0.2023,1,0,3,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,1,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,4,1,2,3,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,15,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6455210588071897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415200464829417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2958582028284402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3281384966049872,0.0,0.0,0.1475485161568142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22201463552502115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046521295780307,0.0,0.32136360384234225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2872839508968928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17610647115478698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,PeaPantalones,2020/04/11,"Could a relapse be helpful? Hey all!
I’ve been craving a drink during this quarantine but I always play the tape through and don’t go through with it. I know it will just lead to me not being able to quit and so on. But sometimes I wonder if it would actually be beneficial to experience feeling wasted again with the debilitating hangover just as a refresher  to why I stopped in the first place. I don’t want to lose my time (2.5yrs) or my partner- but I also just want the thoughts and the cravings to stop. I hate that it’s all I think about. 
I could just be seeing quarantine as a once in a lifetime excuse since there will be “minimal consequences” due to not working. 
I’m curious if anybody had this thought and acted on it... or just opinions about relapse in general, experiences etc 
Thanks!",3.7665707196029743,5.730234987096777,4.81870967741936,81.75114143920598,73.3225806451613,7.866004962779157,31.277915632754343,8.617729084823388,2.5742158808933007,633,30,121,12,13,207,95,155,0.13,0.754,0.11599999999999999,-0.7412,0,2,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,5,11,4,1,0,10,0,14,1,0,1,2,38,27,15,0,7,14,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,8,6,1,2,6,2,0,3,4,2,0,1,4,2,12,2,20,13,3,15,0,1,1,0,4,6,0,6,6,90,20,2,0.1737334978291206,0.0,0.1695388325228677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389346154457638,0.14456018769416415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.277424122386342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17019268683913294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937587744555876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33988939544281643,0.0,0.0,0.08784487660993573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14777762450165147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873675050631783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17152586094910569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644990144989854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09547938688339787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194363344763108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18502050514002755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18151452794134665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18478696022022129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13844310441801852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14371414471667787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17182687170703695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29049796691243185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599504629694846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113214103577216,0.0,0.2758499821125955,0.10130539971194034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20494503659866276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567674592738273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884065674208381,0.12648005557557246,0.0,0.0,0.12341529220024001,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,keefer777,2020/04/11,"I'm not sure how to handle this. I'm not asking for advice, but what did you do when your loved one turned out to be somebody that was totally untrustworthy, and you felt that drugs/addiction has something to do with it. I love the girl and have for almost a decade, but it recently came to light that she wasn't an honest person. It hurts me and her kids, but there's nothing more I can do for her.",6.7068072289156655,4.946717000000003,6.8615361445783165,82.82676204819279,65.74698795180723,10.227710843373494,29.183734939759034,8.841846274778883,1.8629542168674704,313,7,70,4,4,101,60,83,0.102,0.775,0.12300000000000001,0.608,0,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,0,0,3,5,0,0,3,0,10,2,0,1,2,16,18,8,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,8,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,5,2,9,4,9,12,2,4,0,1,0,2,12,1,0,1,2,53,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26890088765584697,0.0,0.2410378502315638,0.0,0.0,0.2469990256046645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305981591192099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.282118657969271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368367550659664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26405961936908673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4452489708123991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23668139313493666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16714635684070794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21537806615940572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435515931651248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898945056371032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324785221886694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683003177261929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,irespecteachmod,2020/04/11,"Quarantine I’m not dependent on anything 
I’m stuck in a quarantine . My drug use ruined my life before , . I was doing ok with a job . Now I have none due to quarantine . I got my check recently . Spent it all on dabs . Ik weed isn’t bad but it’s a starting point . I stole from my mother when I ran out and then I got some bars . Now I have none . I ate all of my adderall script . ( I broke into my moms safe ) is there something I can do . Because I liked to work because I would have something to do.  And it was positive and I got money for things I liked . But my last check went to drugs . I want healthy relationship but I am a fiend . Please I only see this when Im on stims but I need some help.",-1.1665958815958817,0.8983091486486501,1.2707335907335882,98.50463963963965,96.02702702702706,4.710939510939512,17.18275418275418,6.42735559955562,-0.2729218790218795,526,15,127,7,21,177,88,148,0.065,0.736,0.19899999999999998,0.9672,1,3,4,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,4,1,13,5,0,2,2,21,28,10,0,3,5,2,0,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,6,2,1,0,1,4,2,4,3,0,0,10,1,25,4,14,17,6,18,0,2,1,0,4,7,0,3,11,81,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14303007560371053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451233342263652,0.21190482202028169,0.0,0.14789873811069126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4031267386847038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4170330328509424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11650057256946643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18774364827675072,0.0,0.17247870749972427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416776103300875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12276650386975932,0.16982868865814574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20356311127705454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12887724153740612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321896488052288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907901923028124,0.1643057747398233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17161551272311185,0.1866059216790123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13850334549173324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676134655881188,0.0,0.0,0.12302297195699985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11547103952377227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15011525258503625,0.0,0.0,0.10251710740728696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16112277228623306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265350911397011,0.0,0.0,0.12346899418667125,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,TryingToQuitDrugs,2020/04/11,"Can't quit meth Longest I've gone is two weeks. I just relapsed an hour ago.

I only take it orally but still.

I use it as a substitute for human relationships.I'm almost 24 and I've never been able to connect with people.

I started using Thanksgiving last year while alone at my dorm because my family hates me",0.8544444444444466,3.4236722580645176,2.8934408602150548,86.58793906810041,92.54838709677419,5.336200716845879,19.7921146953405,6.937597516519254,0.7726286738351256,248,8,46,4,9,83,54,62,0.111,0.889,0.0,-0.7469,0,1,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,2,0,3,0,0,2,1,8,9,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,2,0,7,0,5,7,0,11,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,9,26,9,1,0.24101018016106504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21364098299062886,0.0,0.2413368815829116,0.2496138617795436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146917568850569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272029484991093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23794765641733703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23734647965487324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19645546403151212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18588190874652846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18329910234714653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670861129119575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25634399313076056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705882459905914,0.0,0.19247104120216796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812096613941201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354319258685017,0.0,0.0,0.4163108276048905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19332382901524325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15520265419457988
addiction,spaceace2009,2020/04/12,"i steal pills. i'm 28, professional male.  when i was a teen, i stole my mom's xanax and ambien on a regular basis.  she caught on and had to start hiding it from me.  as i got into my 20s and was even more of a shithead, she got a safe.  i learned how to pick locks, busted her safe, and stole her pills.

when i was in law school.  i was dating a girl who had an adderall prescription.  i stole her adderall regularly and basically ruined my life.

after a bit of a recovery, i'm married now, i'm a lawyer, everything in my life is going otherwise fine...but i still steal pills.  i was just over at some of my only friends in the world, some great couple friends of my wife and ours...and i took a few of her methylphenidate from her bathroom.  the last time i was there, i did the same thing.  i'm pretty sure she knows, and maybe her boyfriend knows.  but then again, maybe they don't. 

but i feel absolutely terrible.  i don't want to ruin one of the only friendships i have.  plus if my wife found out, she would be super upset.  i almost want to call my friend and tell her.  i don't know how to explain something like that.  also i don't know if she even knows, but i feel so guilty and i want to stop doing this.",1.1567363877822068,3.038906976095621,2.733371513944224,94.09309843957504,80.83266932270917,5.936321381142099,19.621679946879148,6.996647511020387,0.1221592297476759,925,23,214,11,24,303,134,251,0.125,0.738,0.138,0.645,0,0,2,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,1,1,13,15,0,1,14,0,18,6,0,3,1,44,40,23,0,6,6,3,2,1,3,1,6,0,0,2,5,12,0,3,10,0,0,3,4,6,0,1,14,2,43,9,26,24,6,25,0,2,0,0,25,10,0,5,13,140,48,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141936178375336,0.0,0.0,0.11335265534075616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547477772422119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14473650991797818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15683708115075834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872411995058323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273904009300316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14334008828353373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15541502063335536,0.32853327459591136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08055640283524554,0.0,0.2267313102313797,0.15627330141703033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3894940796005388,0.1155403086453095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20023601069173705,0.06924897680965217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28480187412839597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16600890324838838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09604942797346107,0.2156054550480753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14420464373695652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14345253300270885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10912148482619408,0.0,0.0,0.10032715908504017,0.0,0.11319697120877982,0.11850436197978942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13359207759231884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12389053613700705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416843998912433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08265208796858728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15748284077235053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508129168116023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10069089719410933,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,MaSK0012,2020/04/12,Not sure what to do Don’t drink every night and no where near the level of being out of control but I have an addictive personality and have struggled before with drugs and smoking etc. But I’m worried that I have these cravings and thoughts enter my mind about feeling the need to drink but not sure what to do because it’s not out of control yet but I don’t want it to be too late how can I control these thoughts?,1.585335917312662,3.870182779069769,2.6808527131782967,92.86169250645996,81.67441860465118,4.752454780361758,24.671834625323,5.82211442006289,0.4716423772609821,333,13,70,2,9,106,53,86,0.133,0.8290000000000001,0.037000000000000005,-0.8033,0,0,3,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,3,5,3,0,1,3,0,10,4,0,4,2,26,16,9,0,2,7,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,7,7,2,3,3,2,0,1,6,1,0,0,2,1,5,2,12,12,1,9,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,3,54,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18687720571126631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10449833535454617,0.0,0.14586899709272289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5767989829009269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3358600537593407,0.1987971426408916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911828105355304,0.0,0.0,0.14443191450297868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667700571817935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19337347233385072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730891340822077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12710854880362965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608695898235189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496806184845289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17920933808171788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3231297374526053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721826405779113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111017736443356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740891533129129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,N0rian_,2020/04/12,"Addiction to coca cola?? I know it sound dumb, but i have a SO dealing with this.
He lies, he spends money only on this, he drinks it until dizzyness, his piss is so bad, and his sugar level tests are about to be high in any moment, he hides to drink it. He cant stick to goals,he gets anoyed and frustrated and angry.

When he tries to stick to a goal like 3 days without coke he complains everytime, everyday, every minute, he cant work properly,i ve tried alternative drinks and recipes. Doesnt work. 

I know there are worst addictions out there, but it is a problem in our house dealing with this. He admits to the problem and remembers his family giving him this since baby, his mom has diabetes and had surgeries to remove rocks from the kidneys for this same addiction.

I am so sorry if this seems likeajoke or something it isnt.
Hope any help.",5.766746987951809,6.007075313253014,6.167132530120482,80.41371084337352,66.95180722891567,9.290602409638556,29.853012048192767,9.120678840339163,2.3605200000000006,666,22,129,11,10,215,105,166,0.242,0.696,0.062,-0.9891,0,0,4,0,0,0,24.0,1,0,0,3,7,10,3,0,5,0,13,11,2,0,0,23,20,15,0,4,5,1,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,11,9,5,0,5,4,2,1,5,8,0,0,1,2,10,2,19,18,2,12,0,0,0,0,22,6,2,4,6,76,21,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4633607584243992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19269635502790436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11829801050949135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137275074339912,0.2921345044797064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4163813575927346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11937264934670325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335645689231134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07402265850226998,0.13591366255053608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496602342864788,0.14969412675760693,0.0,0.1407215505570934,0.0,0.16348125718527445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15572873104788015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06921835176539291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659354865678302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10775505225930747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711398378960195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049735217628303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12898138127087833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11720027809610498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090732263470598,0.0,0.15860067343612014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19238467498733716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13657576698251275,0.0,0.20629142268899645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,LopsidedCrab1,2020/04/12,"Is it possible that my friend is sober from years of Xanax abuse without rehab? My friend who I am no longer around or really in contact with recently texted me and said they had been abusing Xanax for the past few years. I had a feeling something was wrong because the last few years their personality changed and they treated me terribly. Based on their behavior, I'm assuming it was the past 2-3 years. They told me that they are ""no longer using it"". My question is, can they really be sober from abusing an anxiety medication that is highly addictive without rehab or the help of a doctor?

I work in the medical field, and from my understanding, don't you need to be weaned off of the pills or at least be in a rehab program to do so? It just seems so unlikely that after years of use you could just miraculously be sober?

Any input is appreciated.",7.124220867208674,6.8478155548780535,7.489837398373988,73.8199322493225,64.1829268292683,11.191327913279133,34.075880758807585,10.746095033038511,3.5436457994579933,677,26,129,16,9,222,96,164,0.133,0.79,0.077,-0.8767,0,0,1,0,1,0,16.0,0,2,7,1,5,5,0,0,10,0,20,10,0,2,0,21,29,8,0,2,7,0,1,0,2,0,10,1,0,1,9,5,0,0,5,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,7,2,19,3,21,17,3,18,0,0,0,0,18,8,0,6,10,94,28,3,0.0,0.4551538087554787,0.0,0.13959305599022592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870781758731242,0.0,0.0979576574827716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11399136653225025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07805789862125033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13545958648902898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10223725287388916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13106427711591218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06474576750134645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978617358494299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582900375976013,0.13529152116120755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043775827148332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579931694766658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494721789342192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24447582428017356,0.0,0.1118080446314316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14435677846432232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143444951202463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16406381245448307,0.0,0.12643361454693486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12180457220619705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657162275890072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09857890239307296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12235696014863205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13330423656424056,0.0,0.22118762671034697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24687065109431644,0.0,0.09322169474055776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14000222746361302,0.0,0.4122989898911116
addiction,prettylittlepal,2020/04/12,"Need help to quit smoking Hi. I am 28yo female.
I started smoking 3 years 9months ago.
I am not an addict but I smoke heavily
I smoke about 3 to 4 cigarettes a day, maximum 5 but rare days. The nights I am out end up being a lot more.
This morning I measured my BP and it was 115/63 and on another part I had 94 heart rate.
Upon rechecking was 114 in next 4 hrs.
Between these 4 hours, I smoked, had lunch and some cake and few glasses of prosecco.
I am worried something might be wrong with my heart. And I really wanna start with quitting smoking.
I have slightly high motivation but cannot judge on a single day.

I am asking for advice on how to quit smoking and I am very worried with my health. Though my dentist sister who studied medicine said stats are fine and I shouldn't worry, I am afraid that she said so to not freak me out.

Normally with no lockdown and good weather I do running and work out as well. I am not lazy or so. I am quite active and I really do enjoy running. I lost 6 kgs since last summer and throughout winter. Due to lockdown its not easiest to go but I have decided to go in masks and gloves etc. Whatever I can do to get some exercise.

I am afraid I might be sick. And regardless I wanna quit long term. Please help me.

Help me quit smoking pals!",1.3410344827586194,3.5314386590038325,3.05432950191571,90.38195402298851,81.95019157088123,6.012260536398468,24.226053639846743,7.242747475848597,1.0615731800766284,994,38,208,14,27,329,153,261,0.086,0.758,0.157,0.9584,0,2,5,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,9,6,9,0,2,5,0,28,8,2,2,0,43,38,23,0,6,9,1,0,0,1,3,5,2,0,0,6,20,1,0,2,1,0,4,7,5,1,0,7,2,34,4,29,25,9,32,0,1,0,0,11,11,0,6,17,138,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755818793122147,0.0,0.09641319751582617,0.08745957283808525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345767641326824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09223740520664056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19089011285078866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738690894797442,0.0,0.11003630210829923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051547802891824736,0.0,0.11214590862717592,0.08275457792529081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104875086219389,0.0,0.2338343356859415,0.19839694856286064,0.10424380178034699,0.0,0.0,0.09716404331536448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042422724977606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873144252909303,0.0,0.0,0.10770327542535882,0.0838804989314345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093335609513329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07315801372270525,0.0,0.0,0.10493015120537494,0.0925893637418264,0.09666964993644038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10684336274124072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10830330739656246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6296470599877964,0.0,0.0,0.12641321051046792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18770387932697016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161577760652568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07595627185345152,0.0,0.0,0.1396695981893115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693675700636824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814080304324295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08871067337804066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718284766462447,0.3005938653280385,0.0,0.0,0.1078734596466981,0.0,0.06353630117771188
addiction,higherthantheskyxx,2020/04/12,"Addictive & curious personality w/ a bf that’s “clean” from his addiction.. toxic or sustainable? I’m 21F and he’s 27M, we met a few months ago (I was single for 2 yrs before we met) and REALLY hit things off together, I thought that he was just so amazing and everything that I was looking for in a boyfriend/future husband but then I learned about his pervious addiction. 

I know I shouldn’t really care that much, it’s been 5-6 years since he’s touched heroin but when he told me it totally caught me off guard; I understand he’s trying to be open and honest with me so I don’t hear this from other people but then I learn about the molly, cocaine, alcohol, weed, shrooms. 

The weed, shrooms, and alcohol (to a point) I don’t have an issue with. I’ve personally never done cocaine or molly but I’ve done lsd, DMT, ketamine, addy, pills, weed but I have an EXTREMELY curious and addictive side to my personality. 
Since I didn’t know about his addiction prior to drinking and smoking with him it just became like an everyday thing. Which it is winter & we aren’t working but he’ll go 2 days without drinking & beings to feel better then goes and buys more alcohol even if I encourage him not to. He just says “it’s not like I have anything to do” which is a valid point. 

Once we started dating I realized his issue with alcohol right now, he withdrawn 2 times in under a month of us being together and tells me to “ not tell anyone “ especially his parents because they helped him get off of heroin & he doesn’t want them to be concerned.. but shouldn’t I be concerned that he’s telling me that? 

Once he opened up to me about his addiction I felt more comfortable with telling him how my mind works and what I think about. Looking back on it now I probably shouldn’t have said anything but he’s the only person I could trust to even tell or ask questions about addictions. 
I told him I was curious about heroin, I always kind of have been and I know that I shouldn’t be. He was furious at me, I was furious at myself because I realized I shouldn’t have ever mentioned it. 
But Im scared I’m going to try it just to see what it feels like, to know what he dealt with, the feelings it gives people. 
It’s a disgusting thought to have because I never thought I’d be like this but I’ve had percs and other pain pills from my doctor before & I enjoyed them which started my curiosity for harder drugs other than psychedelics I just don’t have the confidence to try them yet because of everything I’ve seen and heard growing up.  

Ever since we started dating I’ve been drinking more, smoking more, started smoking cigarettes again, and I’ve been barely eating because I hate being sober and I hate myself on top of being with a guy that told me “I usually date skinny women”.. that kinda hurt like i know I’m not the skinniest 😞 I have adderall in my college bag and I just want to take them to feel alright, lose weight, not feel as hungry all the time so I feel as if I’m enough for him. 

I think this might be toxic between us because he brings out my curiosity and I can bring out his addiction through my curiosity.. I really really want things to work between us but my whole life I’ve never really been around someone that’s an addict & I know I have the possibility to be one myself too. Idk what to do and I wish he would just talk to me about it 😣",3.5685946745562127,5.016453167159766,4.893313609467459,83.13437869822488,72.80177514792898,8.158579881656804,27.644970414201183,8.730908602173464,2.065508284023669,2655,99,530,50,52,883,267,676,0.08,0.8029999999999999,0.11699999999999999,0.9572,2,0,11,0,0,0,69.0,8,0,5,6,31,24,5,1,20,1,54,25,1,1,7,111,111,44,0,13,29,2,9,5,1,8,19,4,1,6,38,35,10,1,24,3,1,6,20,9,0,1,28,17,90,15,72,62,11,61,0,2,4,0,72,23,0,8,37,353,128,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4901010219446478,0.0,0.0,0.044279934890475305,0.21353640167905372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04156453568085545,0.32474149972261385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03492799488979868,0.0,0.08221340949020338,0.04446837339199141,0.04669890515675939,0.0,0.0,0.03841043908267376,0.0,0.18270371981733885,0.0,0.08501190723738362,0.0,0.0,0.04417898437368142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0509299691622092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0398830584602327,0.0,0.0,0.0322152719402399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05112856692960961,0.0,0.10223763427166216,0.0,0.14680348962423298,0.0579291164883436,0.051113944647223415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051614352787826286,0.0,0.06598639611236283,0.09036990972751238,0.0,0.0,0.08978828889012691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15154510656662978,0.03568612240351974,0.04796229599015419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02609815348655692,0.047919052056948484,0.05677838767218544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04946089286240584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986356324148072,0.0,0.0,0.05630017117558361,0.0,0.033482151351978386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05347525395583139,0.0,0.05395734208281717,0.10427499951297813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05201790952005387,0.16471574004720538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03528297391902981,0.12202150024132916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0838951474183724,0.05588414284261989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05299177750660105,0.050437850755367206,0.0,0.07974332158535223,0.0,0.0367208828769287,0.0,0.11557949277421067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10639570285910786,0.03384915081376225,0.03799117661694263,0.053153051057629096,0.0,0.05546641192404509,0.0,0.0,0.06926163788685258,0.17446661192511606,0.0,0.0,0.09444264000612593,0.05631401150542685,0.0,0.0,0.0538573137455922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05595830496042385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16000446117723158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04265921755771421,0.04751632831934282,0.039724284622151024,0.05001123184153771,0.0,0.03980572690957725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12396383384388328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04232464620631826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14142673039236306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03755811219240026,0.04014997956230764,0.2183037177097048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09955879366515284,0.06401517328748547,0.0,0.11897027051811003,0.05825548469677664,0.0,0.0,0.14319544952886462,0.0,0.10174353794913196,0.0,0.0,0.05200238181718712,0.18026035552561864,0.0,0.055015693081500436,0.0,0.08838995115662017,0.0,0.0,0.06082876684766934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05577025489250256,0.05744298449405495,0.04815249008037919,0.0,0.10909818671533908,0.0,0.0,0.035484868953495154,0.0,0.0,0.03216781408867792
addiction,crushrich,2020/04/12,"How to support an addict? Disclaimer- I've never struggled with addiction, so let me know if I say anything hurtful or incorrect. 

One of my best friends has always had problems with drugs/addiction (nicotine, kratom, etc.) since high school. He's tried to quit a few times, but ultimately he's always gone back to using. Sometimes he'll get started trying to quit, and it'll be going pretty well, but if the attempt fails he'll get kind of cold and standoffish. Right now it doesn't look like he has any plans to try quitting. I care about him a lot and I want to help him quit, but I don't want to drive him away or make him feel guilty. I want to support him when he uses, and tell him that it's okay, but I also don't want to give him more positive associations with using.

TLDR; How do I get my best friend to think about quitting again without alienating him/making him feel guilty?",3.588668831168832,5.231433386363637,4.196948051948056,87.3636363636364,73.0909090909091,6.846753246753247,25.63961038961039,7.447530270364453,1.1817155844155844,700,23,141,8,14,222,106,176,0.08900000000000001,0.66,0.251,0.9842,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,10,11,15,0,1,4,1,10,2,0,6,1,33,35,17,0,7,9,0,2,1,2,3,2,1,0,0,4,7,0,0,4,0,0,3,5,4,1,1,2,5,18,11,19,28,6,13,0,2,1,0,20,3,0,5,8,83,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32780924720682914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08015701580958721,0.16680527330442646,0.0,0.0,0.06816249103181607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248396147498993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09417305112479818,0.07707368413933109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21037859397555714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219514408531304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178729719337434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10136254583671578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548809292356671,0.0,0.1571042315433993,0.09615349292269323,0.05696523681970218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06718467216824184,0.10590262147048238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10730246597262699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10437818529768947,0.05508593160420752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10249595660878844,0.0,0.04896922186994618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417123375013688,0.0,0.0,0.08521527971330806,0.0,0.0,0.0669069084095638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07730656501903854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06792108657204368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019739138275224,0.0,0.09591030804022824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5330554680075399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08559920527327126,0.0,0.07971002255503064,0.0,0.10144206080798422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291452013708579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09913389278649222,0.0,0.07094607226213824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10478623825987643,0.0,0.0,0.2274884900131813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760884898495809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06422583760972657,0.0,0.0,0.0584471947487882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041567213077424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597097287148038,0.0,0.0,0.2364822112333609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901223161732136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09662190538851492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,liamons,2020/04/12,"Brother struggling with drug use and depression. How do I help him? My brother has been partying hard every single weekend for over a year now. He goes out Friday nights and doesn’t come home until Monday morning 3-4 times every month. He is a heavy alcohol drinker and is also doing molly at clubs. He has also isolated himself from me and my parents, shutting down every time we want to get close and talk about his behavior. Now with the shelter in place orders in our state he lost his job and has been even more isolated, lashing out when my mom has tried to ask what’s going on. He has been leaving the house at night to come back 7-8am, says he’s “walking around” (he doesn’t take his car, so he must be walking). I think he might me rolling on his own on some park or something; but those are assumptions. I’m worried and scared, I want to get close to him and get him to open up but don’t know how to do that. I don’t want to sound judgemental with him but it’s hard not to when I’m seeing my parents in so much pain. I know he’s in pain and I just want to come from a place of compassion. Any tips on how to deal with this would be appreciated.",2.9384166666666687,4.078590008333337,3.966666666666669,90.37166666666668,73.91666666666666,7.0,25.0,7.3871296695380915,0.9487500000000004,902,28,200,10,18,292,136,240,0.115,0.813,0.07200000000000001,-0.8953,3,0,4,0,0,0,23.0,2,0,0,1,16,6,0,2,5,0,23,4,0,4,1,44,44,23,0,6,6,5,2,0,0,3,4,2,1,0,5,23,1,0,3,2,0,7,5,6,0,0,4,5,23,0,37,35,5,45,0,2,1,0,31,22,0,3,14,126,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12504640666729006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18714316776351367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956973176651401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10416229287904706,0.10938706916914682,0.0,0.0,0.08997224544450756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3023771559403001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12063053376296405,0.1007791728099093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13569260887266876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07728295183298298,0.0,0.29575389801430885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833961959732024,0.0,0.06649857634522081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096331066527216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07842827136045986,0.0,0.11736897636395638,0.0,0.0,0.13501199626947866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161127930733887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286095251363218,0.0,0.0,0.12389501240801093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772850246929113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12412743322466485,0.0,0.1370388366177061,0.0933949972141034,0.0,0.08601464513412327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196089344288123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24901039769882,0.0,0.2598479864713361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24449777073232745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09304978468064044,0.11714583154189195,0.0,0.09324055431641842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09007879118509554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12232259626879788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797576308184607,0.09404692844038287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07497426507931239,0.0,0.0,0.13645709064522069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794410303324816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105769873416784,0.0,0.0,0.27605836920789084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882772094031145,0.0,0.08311941793162679,0.0,0.0,0.07534958031514258
addiction,braindamageco-op,2020/04/12,"Need help to deal with an addict in my house Hi there! I hope everyone in this group is okay during this hard time!
I'll start with saying I dont know a lot about addiction in general, and I sincerely hope I'm not triggering anyone with this post. If so, please tell me and I will delete/edit it immediately. 
I am working and living on a farm, and the son of the owners is an addict who has aspergers syndrome. 
I myself am on antidepressants, which he knows.
He has gone into my room and stolen my pills twice now. First time he went to the hospital because he passed out and hit his head.
After that I got a big lock on my door, which he then broke and stole more of my medication. 
Of course I got angry, but didn't quite know how to deal with the situation without causing any pain.
My medication is now locked in a safe in the parent's house. 
My question to you is how I move on and deal with this? I don't want to let him off the hook and be an enabler, since this is affecting me and I really need my medication, but I also don't want to make things more difficult for him.
I feel that he needs more help than his parents can give him, and they are a bit too gentle on him when he might need some tough love, but again, I don't know enough about him or his issues to have an educated opinion on it.
I hope you can maybe help me understand him and what he needs .

Thank you in advance and stay safe out there!",3.979195257768996,4.375160610921501,5.04332315430214,86.37102748338422,70.87713310580205,8.625758936590623,24.636069696425363,8.6894789155246,1.3083829351535838,1101,27,249,18,19,363,158,293,0.051,0.794,0.156,0.988,2,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,3,1,5,13,13,0,0,15,1,22,10,1,6,0,58,49,24,0,11,7,3,2,0,0,2,8,1,2,0,14,21,0,2,7,0,0,5,7,4,0,2,5,3,40,9,37,39,7,35,0,1,0,1,39,18,0,10,10,167,54,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30948810935625115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567706977740032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06435291456295959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06616880164311996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057686707726359934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10331348922574213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721299486276752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2926838985348639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090784323572246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778001520932364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042480419090416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047848715278535896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049381764989749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907795096880478,0.0,0.0,0.15137149750502754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08477156515731595,0.0,0.09711959674267344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19028923690443908,0.0,0.0,0.2819723887000288,0.0,0.21838493779014592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09877108292188096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20802879686377293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676749541937098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08356167221662593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08045262917826068,0.08540895455993469,0.0,0.06316750599010064,0.0,0.09507042969729004,0.0,0.0,0.2859949503997922,0.0,0.10038945624029326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10057869833138483,0.0,0.35084165118414706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006949784336492,0.0,0.21015497855158316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038773724495514,0.0,0.0,0.09063116983449952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600934845798826,0.10065263892423124,0.0,0.0,0.060623597129205536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525505881088104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07828045820567353,0.10637018332526606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06698092246558113,0.10086497895421988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08271242274664893,0.08712430885731615,0.0,0.0,0.06286920745228973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11036120520765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09851511082407502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11163265385985392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772468870054476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912217427540192,0.0,0.06889312616968782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,disorderedcontrol,2020/04/12,Craving narcotics after barely using them? And by barely using them I mean like 4 months ago and like only took them a few times. I’ve had problems with alcohol before but not really drugs. Or at least not where I’ve acted on it? It’s always just been like I want to fall into that and it’s hard not too. But anyways long story short at the beginning of January I was kinda going through it. A lot of it caused by being put on Wellbutrin for adhd and it causing major depression and anxiety + watching euphoria which I love dearly but I can’t watch it anymore because it fucks me up in the head. Ended up having some bad nights and basically went through my small stash of norco I had been literally hoarding for years never took them besides trying them like once. But I’ve been craving them ever since and it mentally hurts.,2.464178996752075,4.957464411042945,4.075792132804042,82.91889209671601,79.7361963190184,6.289281847708409,23.69866474197041,7.510576382923642,1.37815294117647,661,23,118,10,17,220,108,163,0.129,0.722,0.149,0.5661,0,0,2,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,6,0,5,11,1,0,4,0,9,5,1,4,2,30,20,12,0,2,9,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,11,9,1,0,1,0,0,7,5,5,0,0,9,3,14,6,20,10,5,29,0,2,2,2,7,11,1,4,15,83,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17905908250943514,0.0,0.13207216168762026,0.15922682722154907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12397303858939522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11397825070248213,0.0,0.14775974152088134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12440185485583073,0.0908239638123906,0.0,0.12678097185327847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3061110566195678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283263419094442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727830824095275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13196243239519234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13477153205790934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13774043551049994,0.0,0.0,0.08467542257629057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13346730762812428,0.0,0.1529084790533103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594987075796332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911592954976152,0.0,0.0,0.13185297527160722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12666742424891556,0.13447083572531526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16229565112012856,0.0,0.0,0.15014860093101814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11892376183455007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11491159216325005,0.0,0.0,0.13981862730227462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15867130908878874,0.0,0.11331490963721078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14256494515124504,0.0,0.14977782081045907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09544790487885496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232474825399102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08687826453555095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3310705448997304,0.10115559133744127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573620012699149,0.0,0.0,0.08787917107822325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13811680829118902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959457766585613
addiction,dungareelife,2020/04/12,"Is it me or weed? Temper tantrums and smoking Am I alone? Has anyone else experienced this? How do you overcome it? Is weed making this happen to me? 

I (28f) have been smoking weed daily for about 8 years now (if not longer) as a way to self medicate from bad things in my past. By all logic I shouldn't smoke it because it tears my mental health apart and I think it's turning me into an awful person. 

I have always had a tenancy to be moody and let my emotions rule since childhood but recently I am having full blown temper tantrums. 

I suspect this is due to the low level anxiety I feel on a daily basis, and most of the time don't recognise, but it's over the tiniest of things. 

If something doesn't go my way or turn out the way I planned it utterly destroys my emotional restraint. I get angry, upset, anxious and tearful and if anyone else is around I am lashing out at them. This can go on for hours, and just like a kid I am stubborn and refuse to get out of the mood.

The worst part is, it's not really other people but my family/friends and partner that take the brunt. So it's definitely a learnt behaviour that can be changed and not a full on mental issue, but while I'm in that moment I can't seem to or don't want to stop. 

Tears, anger ""my life is shit and so am I"" full on pity party and then I will blame whoever is trying to console me. Afterwards I feel intense guilt, which then leads to smoking, which then leads to an evening of self berrating thoughts and paranoia. 

I can see that people around me are, well...fucking off away from it. And rightly so, but I wonder if this heightened irritability and almost childlike regression is weed? 

It's not dignified at all, I am nearly 29 years old and I'm getting irate over small things and taking it out on those closest to me - and I cant stop myself in the moment. Or maybe I won't stop myself? 

Terrified it isn't weed and this is just who I am now.",3.3924790545903534,4.576754135549876,4.5163577035011935,86.6968030690537,72.86189258312021,7.132233883058469,26.52623688155922,7.503015589744147,1.3114144280800777,1501,51,311,17,29,492,195,391,0.217,0.722,0.061,-0.9964,0,1,2,0,0,0,45.0,0,1,1,3,12,17,8,2,16,1,39,4,1,4,2,68,60,41,0,6,19,0,2,1,1,3,3,0,0,5,31,26,0,5,8,0,0,4,12,15,0,0,3,4,39,1,44,51,8,60,0,2,1,0,9,32,1,12,22,226,70,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631372097888464,0.10995989622321913,0.0,0.0,0.08834178074172777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121960829106975,0.11994165675985564,0.0,0.1484727889176929,0.2175670183974174,0.0,0.18902726700955344,0.0,0.0,0.09975002431803423,0.0,0.08864735034798225,0.06472012615406825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231357340128514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773824931066692,0.2388534754311079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07012415322108535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073652843503102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08202652602379851,0.09815227158737697,0.1664080193828778,0.0,0.12067749085707555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09388560569427552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11285353530327925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10455586915620198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11081368999945597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10856581625116946,0.07499087129960885,0.05186920264364338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708691675716669,0.0,0.10666183677385503,0.0,0.0,0.10695490636018776,0.21398837897419798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114073480105932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497154990477132,0.1013510898224793,0.14720954601765315,0.0927033763578151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06801509409632538,0.0,0.1048298715200718,0.0,0.0,0.09066843120860507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08460358671901788,0.09665300071102093,0.22151651750236487,0.0,0.10898177653580388,0.08782475773278361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173470092970672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26628812650537004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596529569270506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21160349747221888,0.0680293224749234,0.0,0.08428696388025031,0.061908465615990727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208232670919201,0.2309645153251965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06262170026234458,0.2528179422127344,0.0,0.0,0.09545940290245523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11513662187964326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367397437557113
addiction,justanotherlostpersn,2020/04/12,My first few days nicotine free Today marks the third day nicotine free and I’ve experienced no headaches and not to mention my body just feels better. I am excited as this is the first time I’ve been able to quit without feeling withdrawal.,4.388695652173912,6.679667217391309,4.286304347826088,84.81467391304348,72.47826086956522,7.208695652173913,31.06521739130435,8.07648339933343,2.2882347826086957,196,9,36,3,4,60,36,46,0.08800000000000001,0.685,0.226,0.8503,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,4,1,4,0,0,2,0,3,1,1,0,0,7,5,3,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,3,0,0,3,1,3,3,6,4,4,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,22,4,0,0.2899411562920013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564293909221299,0.0,0.32205926208557234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3739761191498897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29320592075644936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.49324759885093605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083881092789152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16906701987888045,0.0,0.2748303142352637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2794929280911989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,chillychese,2020/04/12,"Sobriety For the sober people in this sub, does being sober ever truly feel as good when you were getting high. I've been tempted to try going sober for the first time in years, but I don't know if I could get over the first few weeks.",8.60265306122449,5.1909893673469405,7.932346938775513,81.82872448979593,63.48979591836735,10.616326530612248,30.62244897959184,7.1686216300943375,1.6742571428571418,185,3,41,1,2,58,40,49,0.0,0.917,0.083,0.4404,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,0,1,6,10,4,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,1,3,1,7,6,1,12,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,7,26,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380672636036476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609336243566521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26971498615620465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507654721315398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5072524246894765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31156667645475,0.0,0.1694588618175071,0.2500937708218758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150366556831609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16386834836395314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067159495913633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17386735580339518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20244022235702927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23917678254076136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920139470707416
addiction,anxious-addict,2020/04/12,"Possible Addiction to prescription So, I made a new account to be posting on this subreddit, for my own safety. I’m diagnosed with ADHD, and I’ve been prescribed adderall for a few years now. I never took it consistently like I was suppose too, and now it’s very out of date. I remember last time I took it, I got such a rush from it. The great feeling of a stimulant. It made me feel great, productive, etc. Like it’s suppose too. I also had one hell of a crash. The problem is I got a lotta mental problems, and an extremely addictive personality. It’s currently almost 1am and I’m tempted to take a dose or two of my adderall to try and get a nicer high and see what’ll happen. Only problem is I can’t get a refill with covid, so that’ll suck. I just feel the need to fill the void with something, and the constant boredom is killing me. I live in a hotel so I can’t really walk around or do anything, I’m cramped in a tiny room and live in a small town so there’s nothing for me to do. Especially with the virus. I feel like I’m going crazy and am going to make a big mistake. I don’t really know the point of posting this, honestly, I’m just worried for what path i might go down and don’t know what to do. I’m considering waking my boyfriend up (I’m also a guy, btw) and seeing if he can keep me company till this feeling passes, but I’m not sure. Everything just feels off, and I don’t know what to do about it. I’ve struggled with an addiction to sleeping pills in the past, and also have sleeping pills in the house. There’s just far too many pills for me to pop and it is making me nervous. 

This is real messy, sorry reddit. I’m just having one hell of a night and thought maybe you would all get it.",2.010083333333334,3.5053709527777817,4.003888888888891,87.73,76.97222222222223,7.133333333333333,25.333333333333336,7.908726449838941,1.3462333333333336,1333,48,291,21,30,455,178,360,0.121,0.823,0.055999999999999994,-0.9682,1,0,1,0,0,0,42.0,0,1,0,0,22,17,4,2,26,0,25,12,3,5,3,62,65,27,1,7,10,0,6,3,0,3,9,0,1,2,18,22,0,1,11,1,1,9,7,10,0,3,10,8,26,7,41,51,5,42,2,0,2,0,4,18,3,6,16,184,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001969686266563,0.11031485318817497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191535139786892,0.0,0.0,0.22021550671828413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07553610950909756,0.08171338332900939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09919337971872284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316585586209344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023711442991868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249576394283094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784734956539871,0.06557545457711582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14387090806499456,0.0,0.15650069260783742,0.0,0.14682717465949358,0.20239963592464064,0.0,0.09088744628983243,0.08117041111095187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09698215107091328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10591440242193356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815879909521644,0.1015530576517672,0.0,0.15133767417297478,0.0748218543806958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345332270516049,0.0,0.16210613548276998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17370958374753304,0.12254230932088216,0.0930615899664476,0.0922163208807093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250366212081057,0.09737566495882466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806180720320741,0.07079481946100333,0.08865224656151112,0.0,0.08613956425812598,0.0,0.08807586736862022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12439981158854528,0.0698111340987215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876248234923542,0.0,0.08014829445570651,0.0,0.0,0.08677209280173546,0.1034804751766774,0.17582066402484145,0.0,0.0,0.2634945534244727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10447816731112457,0.11760723294530395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039812235282028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14629096472586256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18371442898160026,0.0,0.0,0.07066513793497864,0.0,0.1027524245893552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09595980390253656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651185974162515,0.0,0.06901535146424446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07287174065567137,0.0535240260542367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20396618838711172,0.06232001220583076,0.0,0.08966639518397017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07573712557432691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321813914545098,0.0,0.06520563892941536,0.0,0.0,0.059110345690266214
addiction,Skav666,2020/04/12,"Four years later I never thought I'd see this day. Or the days in the past 6 months when I felt my brain, my soul, my heart, my personality come back to me. 

Four years ago, I was a hardcore partier in the Austin, TX bar scene. 

I barely left alive, and I can still remember how truly miserable I was as intrusive thought after instrusive thought filled my head.

The reason I wrote this, is for people not to get caught up in programs, but get caught up in healing.

If you're wondering if your true self is coming back, the answer is yes! Now eat something.",4.924597402597404,5.408147563636367,5.342207792207791,84.75045454545456,68.81818181818181,8.467532467532468,28.441558441558442,8.418075326091056,1.7831558441558442,432,14,90,6,7,138,78,110,0.019,0.8440000000000001,0.13699999999999998,0.8972,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,1,6,1,6,6,3,2,2,20,19,8,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,3,2,0,8,1,0,5,2,1,0,2,9,2,14,1,11,10,0,27,1,1,1,0,4,7,0,4,15,54,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15450809581660718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680547664228965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945785380978569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30029126392163746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22482058006690145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17835433310035692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167357134620025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18213107176021748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17888401030809412,0.0,0.0,0.20654856164380456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18937949768117995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13912609405049498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13443235171990495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663908627891542,0.12083897378696097,0.15219367450968768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792113579030792,0.0,0.0,0.19745004676944347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388960277969515,0.0,0.18183486992506045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13418609934365971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139197702892479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4151286582061753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189022948709658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22448938616182795
addiction,Wanderlust481,2020/04/12,"How to help a suicidal addict? I’m in a horrible position right now. I just found a pipe in our bathroom and confronted my boyfriend about it. We’ve been dealing with a lot of BS on his end with anxiety and depression and refusing to go to therapy. I’ve always known he had a problem, but he quit every little tiny vice he had when he started getting anxiety March 2019. All the way down to giving up vaping, benadryl, and kratom. My uncle has always struggled with addiction as well, and took his life in July 2019 after his fiancé left him. My boyfriend took it really really hard, almost worse than I did. Since then, he’s had increasingly worse anxiety and panic attacks. There have been nights that I’ve stayed up all night and called out from work to keep him from hurting himself. He’s told me more than once that he “wouldn’t still be here if it wasn’t for me” and other toxic statements. We are supposed to be moving to his home state next month (I’ve never lived anywhere else) and I just learned that he took my uncles suicide so badly because he felt guilty that he’s been doing shit he shouldn’t. I don’t know how to help him. I don’t know who to talk to. I just feel so stuck and helpless right now.",5.258024691358023,5.577664761316875,5.732938271604941,82.81422222222223,68.05349794238683,8.949135802469135,28.95720164609053,8.841846274778883,2.085533004115226,959,31,193,15,15,309,147,243,0.26,0.7,0.04,-0.9959,0,0,0,0,0,1,23.0,2,0,0,2,15,11,3,2,6,0,18,4,1,2,3,40,34,19,2,4,5,0,3,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,9,15,0,2,8,0,0,6,6,10,1,0,15,3,22,1,30,15,5,35,0,3,0,0,30,12,1,3,14,117,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405532435098174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11048014246239796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836077682515972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532077838716529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255169669201229,0.0,0.0,0.0921214289668627,0.06725649983698692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126598617652168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11374598730482327,0.09502757016354983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09216704545903542,0.0,0.09772014940031544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929582753760363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055786458235687376,0.0,0.10593466260024748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12097179039838984,0.0,0.0,0.05764317631198106,0.10583914941892283,0.06270341334653523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09883453195542434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479045293132077,0.0,0.11067057136386042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11811117187626816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806689227132682,0.0,0.0,0.12126960693202822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119874502128693,0.0,0.07792975420553337,0.0,0.11058022985847572,0.0974239268511378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937991168932721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08806481937917922,0.11726394995563368,0.0,0.0,0.08509374789631423,0.0,0.11733782755139555,0.2070755578073608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11749847095319953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12944916804465312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10557146823200717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11735015673821368,0.0,0.0,0.14136119432500865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18844343146936496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11325275878427965,0.09126659904953048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780925550866387,0.11759772238644,0.08811014674769563,0.0,0.0,0.11534148153255945,0.0,0.24136750261187406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867954401542859,0.0,0.0,0.12617263798845516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10542560094040704,0.3677440145930215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08757528195964075,0.0,0.0,0.0992004450124867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08032197904204276,0.0,0.22487258140859398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,post_meloncholy_,2020/04/12,"I haven't been smoking for long, but I need help I started smoking cigarettes a little under a year ago, and I've been steadily increasing how frequently I smoke since then. I've been addicted to nicotine for about 5 years, but I quit vaping cold turkey last summer. Then I got hooked on cigarettes and now I have to stop. I just moved to another city where I'm struggling to find a job and pay rent, and I cannot afford any more cigarettes. My sister has given me money several times for them and I feel bad every time. I haven't had any for a few days now, and it's starting to get to me. I'm fine when I wake up and have things to do, but as soon as I get to my free time, it becomes infested with thoughts of smoking and emotions from not being able to. It's like a mixture of anger and frustration and depression. I don't know what to do.",4.286022727272727,4.466248738636367,5.467045454545456,84.36431818181819,70.13636363636363,9.127272727272727,29.06818181818182,9.095868883498916,2.1575863636363635,662,23,143,12,11,221,104,176,0.154,0.769,0.077,-0.9398,3,0,4,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,1,8,8,2,1,5,0,14,2,1,1,0,23,26,19,0,1,5,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,5,11,0,1,4,0,4,2,5,5,0,0,7,2,19,4,24,18,3,27,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,21,92,24,2,0.17519498678931433,0.0,0.0,0.19098839535165466,0.0,0.0,0.15529978512810533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23827719741763706,0.18370721918089536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14628049606959048,0.0,0.19348909853773946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298627295946853,0.0,0.15089518540590754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970707795374252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476093324678188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08858384934103954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16012504400063754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18306429938199476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14011943530203808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174295066930513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17385399135846044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628258299468208,0.14280729719669155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08559142110465763,0.17559140213734412,0.0,0.15504205024382034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862045450549844,0.0,0.12990486281665953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18634143362761926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979204678015465,0.0,0.14492310348716034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24800782674625005,0.0,0.0,0.14647085366808155,0.0,0.1831518391019908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11639176451708072,0.0,0.0,0.13908525004079053,0.30647281703283663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256396549980969
addiction,im-laying-in-bed,2020/04/12,"I couldn’t think of a better sub for this question, what are some signs of having an addictive personality?  I’ve read a couple of sources online but i’m not sure how much to trust them, if they are true then i show a lot of traits of having  a highly addictive personality, so I was just wondering if someone could help me out",8.05318181818182,5.928280378787882,8.723333333333333,71.70500000000001,63.39393939393939,11.830303030303032,34.121212121212125,10.504223727775694,3.215521212121212,259,8,53,5,3,88,49,66,0.036000000000000004,0.76,0.203,0.9044,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,2,1,3,4,0,0,5,0,7,2,0,1,2,17,10,6,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,6,4,8,7,3,3,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,6,1,39,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5038626998132645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20438774059157844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18451325493632048,0.2557059662776296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549003754158931,0.24416813082343616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964715818766968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16988390272309067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4035723899674469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25888307937221344,0.0,0.23116092245335296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19580891077705995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21780749193453594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14807851309051315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506163393952192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Balls_Dick,2020/04/12,"I wanna get out of masterbating I’m not so much addicted but I wanna stop doing it as much. I was think I could start doing it once a week because it’s healthy to do it (it prevents testicle cancer) but even that is hard. Any help?

Ps. The reason I posted here in particular is because there’s no where else to post this really.",0.6210294117647059,2.940717573529412,3.3426470588235304,86.23691176470591,86.5,6.341176470588236,20.264705882352946,7.645422480735847,0.9462000000000006,257,8,53,5,8,90,51,68,0.105,0.7709999999999999,0.124,0.3291,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,0,7,2,0,1,0,11,11,4,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,8,9,2,8,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,40,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634737046988315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16435494898338535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29465940959393633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19296681759586168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018978631418588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15963149961428882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12627109900437278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21650342274772064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16199720989543567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35533442928589065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573879860175244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4629372700712889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15483041103929834,0.2484937347349499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710667833687685,0.0,0.0,0.2020605407740839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15486280069832953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19386614468147745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,FrenchBCCanada,2020/04/12,Dad has a prescribed addiction to xanax for sleep. Eventually induced memory loss. Is it okay to replace with melatonin? Any experience? The decades long xanax addiction (all doctor proscribed) eventually took its toll on his mental health. Need advice to change.,6.068571428571428,9.931682523809528,5.401904761904763,68.8014285714286,80.90476190476191,8.514285714285714,33.1904761904762,8.841846274778883,4.276590476190476,214,11,28,6,6,65,37,42,0.061,0.895,0.044000000000000004,-0.1926,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,1,2,7,1,1,1,4,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,6,3,1,3,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,14,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5627830044459631,0.0,0.2522342092677096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17553207461473638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27305925973366946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26419920076825304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25249322437642724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27437202712925474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284301899364673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601266551529462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19139447937004445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583087999905575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867834696108685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,amaezingjew,2020/04/13,"Care package while in rehab? Hey guys, I was wondering if y’all could help me put together a care package for my male (I’m female) friend in rehab. He’s been a very close friend of mine for a while, and he’s finally made the choice to check himself in for his alcoholism (I couldn’t be prouder). 

He’s been in there for about 10days now, and while I sent off a letter there yesterday, I’d like to start getting a care package together for him since his birthday is coming up. What are some good things to send someone who’s in their early 20’s and in rehab for alcoholism? I’m thinking a nice journal to jot his thoughts down into, some socks with sloths (his favorite) on them, some luxury self-care toiletries, and [this hilarious guide for meditation. ](https://www.amazon.com/F-ck-That-Honest-Meditation/dp/1101907231)

What was something someone sent to you that you liked? What was something you wish you’d had? Open to any suggestions!",7.1383413078149935,8.256666321637429,6.2750664540138255,77.76162679425839,64.14619883040936,9.025199362041466,31.33492822966507,9.095868883498916,2.548410526315789,755,27,135,12,11,229,104,171,0.0,0.7929999999999999,0.207,0.9876,0,0,4,0,0,0,39.0,0,5,2,0,4,9,0,0,7,0,12,5,0,1,0,20,27,8,0,4,1,0,0,2,2,0,5,0,0,2,7,9,2,0,3,0,1,5,1,0,0,0,10,0,19,9,27,13,3,26,0,0,0,0,28,13,0,5,10,85,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3523491662343138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210369571040624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5042268773719062,0.0,0.0,0.14200373235213407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13161936124088816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18058518608161675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547254993112829,0.0,0.08612735392127294,0.0,0.0,0.13826841148854208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16322747994477346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049552226071742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16107482765327444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559851154082727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16571984509095175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17197456805044836,0.0,0.0,0.1363656755308957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793538466452749,0.2538192645064281,0.0,0.0,0.11668172298766027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951905674591657,0.10562926394204178,0.0,0.13087253599890164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13601856637423435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18956943671750806,0.0,0.17877286116443264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,battered_seoul,2020/04/13,"Opponent-Process Theory Conception of Withdrawal I've been reading about the opponent-process theory of addiction posited by Soloman and Corbit. 

If I understand it, a countervailing affective process B is generated in response to process A, the initial neural response to a stimulus such as a narcotic. 

The brain adapts to the stimulus and generates an increasingly strong opponent process as the nervous system seeks to impose transience on any sustained feeling that could peturb the brain's neutral state.

Withdrawal is this countervailing b process outlasting the drug's effect.

My question is; why isn't the state of withdrawal itself not counteracted naturally by the addicted subject's brain if it is so sensitive to peturbation? Surely, withdrawal could eventually be interpreted as a sustained negative peturbation of the base state? 

Thanks in advance",11.70065217391305,13.07625960869565,10.804166666666667,48.326250000000016,54.36231884057971,15.885507246376813,53.48188405797102,14.37465228746014,9.041084057971016,718,50,85,31,8,230,82,138,0.059000000000000004,0.8290000000000001,0.113,0.5204,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,3,4,0,1,16,0,9,7,4,2,1,14,12,8,0,4,3,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,5,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,1,1,2,3,18,8,1,9,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,3,0,58,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4237647978595961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13217228226395644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.650914141496005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31036320890386954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22539728867854086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827486361282033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177290278484467,0.0,0.19441379886383106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18318313267910288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17894168151584208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20233686575866813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753807538198671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Hwhawcaah,2020/04/13,"Starting to forget things. Fuzzy memory. Shittiest day I’ve had in a while. It seems like everything that could’ve gone wrong. Did go wrong. 

What pisses me off the most is that I haven’t accomplished anything in the last 3 years. I’ve regressed into a former shell of myself of who I used to be and it irritates the heck out of me that I feel so useless, stupid and worthless. 

My memory is starting to get hazy. It’s scaring me tbh. 

I’ve failed time and time again in keeping my word. Breaking promises to friends and family. Betraying their trust. I kept blaming everything around me for what was going on. When the real issue was me. Running away from my “responsibilities”.

I’ve been lying to myself for so long I can’t differentiate the difference between the truth and the lies.

Worst of all is the pain and heartache I’ve caused to my family, friends and loved ones. The hell I must have put them through.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry to have let down everyone who believed in me. To those whom I lied to time and time again. The sleepless nights and days spent by the phone worrying if I was still alive or not. I’m sorry for not living up to everyone’s expectations. I’m sorry for failing those whom I was responsible for.

I’m really trying. It may not seem like it. In reality it’s taking everything in me to stay sober. It may not look that way but this “addiction” is the worst demon I’ve ever faced.",1.843043629612442,4.355847363309355,3.4002251102343912,86.65720236713858,82.56115107913669,6.7525644000928295,22.27709445346948,7.941651935203635,1.282392063123694,1109,37,221,22,31,365,151,278,0.18899999999999997,0.738,0.073,-0.9783,1,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,2,3,8,21,3,1,14,0,20,5,2,2,4,37,41,16,0,3,7,0,1,2,2,3,2,0,0,0,21,12,0,2,3,0,1,5,6,13,0,1,10,2,24,8,38,26,4,41,2,4,1,1,10,14,3,7,21,146,45,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11878027464057388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966312891649611,0.09699569743858212,0.0,0.0,0.1023696034049338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227583252032736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11192985332247947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08699407637947723,0.0,0.0,0.14053775893587814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138378924794729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985587255937318,0.0,0.20822802721158115,0.29377320458555023,0.0,0.20543176206224725,0.0,0.05509242555849735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683613211154396,0.0,0.05692604442652381,0.0,0.12384665531061805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11372381685756308,0.0,0.09684685375410768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881529137133577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11141691071202894,0.0,0.10646272499404154,0.0,0.09621188739007007,0.09642437842828384,0.09149725653134888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983388256869885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10224967773799534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738327431485478,0.0,0.1159389666196292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953285842994044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401802853572105,0.06980126827830029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090859400111586,0.0,0.0,0.19838249500847813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4878781262266771,0.15424202983480495,0.11613470313982473,0.0870139789146965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.081922836584674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07238683653938598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541370838090577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07397531226857823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09410470621687417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648576831571418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106521117101984,0.0,0.0,0.23825688047956226,0.0,0.07016536303457163
addiction,Random13509,2020/04/13,"Regrets and resentments I was reading here the other day, and if I remember correctly, I read a post each on regrets and resentments. I am at a place where I want to turn certain aspects of my life around. I'm not ""in the gutter"" so to speak, I have been a somewhat functional addict, though if I am honest with myself, I have not lived up to my potential. There is also a pretty dark secret side to my life that others just don't see or know the depths of. I know I have personal demons I have tried to numb and escape from. And in the numbing and escaping, I have created more personal demons. It is a bad cycle that I want to get out of. I am too old for this, and I feel like I am getting at an age where there is a bit of a crossroads, and I need to decide where I am going to head from here. I am further along this life's path than I'd like to admit, and ignoring life like I have in many ways so far starts to look a little grim.

In regards to the regrets, I can get pretty bummed out over all the doors that have closed in my life over time, whether because of any direct action on my part, or even more so inaction. I was helpless with my stuff for so long, in many ways I just skated through life, not actively engaging being the person I would have wanted to be. There is some background trauma that I feel drove a lot of this. I know I have to do a lot of work on acceptance, I need to make good choices, and I need to start focusing more on the doors that are open for me in the present. They are there, but I will not lie, I get really stuck on what I missed out on. This is a big one for me.

In regards to resentments, and what brought me to post this, I just got very triggered thinking about family resentments. I have gained a lot of clarity in my life as to how everything unfolded, why things were the way they were. There is some anger there. Again, I need to work on acceptance, and I need to get more in the present, making my life more worthy of one worth living going forward.

I am not sure what else to add, I just wanted to get this off my chest. I want to think a little more about how regrets and resentments play into my addictive behaviors. I see how easy I can spiral down these emotional holes, and then I want to get away from that place they put me in. I hopefully am learning, and hopefully I will keep doing the work to do better. Thanks.",5.7136317780580095,4.7927545245901655,6.310737704918032,83.24775535939473,67.27868852459017,9.966708701134932,30.03972257250945,9.265573868473778,2.214117023959647,1840,55,403,30,26,603,213,488,0.11199999999999999,0.7509999999999999,0.138,0.879,0,0,0,0,0,0,53.0,0,0,3,5,30,33,6,0,26,0,42,14,2,7,4,93,88,32,0,20,15,0,2,3,0,3,12,1,2,3,21,27,0,2,14,3,1,7,6,18,0,2,9,6,62,15,80,74,16,68,2,7,3,0,9,46,0,12,15,302,83,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16368461644490687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0600370665255319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05105324801941608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683223952833522,0.0,0.0,0.07053498284819619,0.0,0.06268408834064322,0.0457647305794688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639731207960496,0.0819619317169045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048416854644121515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271512811344324,0.08444873025318808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049586012419641015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06747213774885945,0.0,0.07077357600096439,0.0,0.07591986610445048,0.05363325209325168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27456336681801524,0.0,0.08533315962538827,0.06296894549498737,0.060043951837130134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07704811652622917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14913187582043744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06672968284761881,0.0,0.0,0.12377697848179428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4242188295834143,0.11003285494410288,0.1504887836611983,0.13258435318943712,0.06643858774839391,0.06304368880445085,0.0,0.0,0.1914770166578896,0.0,0.0,0.1002256501350992,0.15222755974950136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27833402659520456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07877807985325487,0.0,0.1017448754005254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812983892084869,0.0,0.0,0.19665652533137826,0.15687378921949466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14380127530428136,0.15275555324751922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547062832810968,0.0,0.0,0.1501896724756598,0.0,0.048094659909124565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504479626434851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964934502863905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10627626333408836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08594236398591361,0.0,0.0,0.0707568466356896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06911853144213223,0.0,0.0,0.04987617519181179,0.09620944208783712,0.07376033473224176,0.0,0.04377655634909528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050970671063502865,0.08165951957597342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0619443414451553,0.26568538208150305,0.1787719786497081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06774307721127648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16396543409387926,0.0,0.0,0.05333078501941962,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,druggedmajority,2020/04/13,"I finally quit smoking nicotine I started smoking cigarettes 5 years ago. about 2 years ago, i swapped smoking cigs for vaping & had been doing that forever. with the quarantine i haven’t really wanted to go to the smoke shop to buy a new coil for my mod, and my shits fucking foul so i won’t hit it. i haven’t had nicotine in 4 days and i’m so proud of myself, i haven’t gone this long w/o it since i started. i’ve still got a lot to work on, but baby steps definitely do make a difference. i even have a pack of cigs in my drawer that a buddy left here & then gave to me, buy i haven’t touched them.",2.170923076923078,3.2716334769230784,4.093846153846155,88.86615384615385,75.76923076923076,7.661538461538463,25.30769230769231,8.238735603445708,1.369061538461538,472,16,108,8,10,161,83,130,0.019,0.9259999999999999,0.055,0.6118,0,1,2,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,3,6,3,2,0,7,0,11,2,1,1,0,7,22,6,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,1,3,3,5,2,0,0,6,1,16,1,14,14,1,19,0,0,0,1,2,4,2,1,12,63,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.352308018487079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4306278324135702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12815848363780746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076209524210434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312532217975925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21768893557261784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18371418806269227,0.0,0.0,0.11293761668324873,0.0,0.1589351864269117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159107431151305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17586166477473508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16894532759124445,0.0,0.0,0.1326476847509058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919257980287954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21136404403017814,0.0,0.0,0.12730564036707445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20398405728268315,0.16438390877502645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28131122634259675,0.0,0.15869869674081938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117210683285719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14467111750610007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559393745423191
addiction,mattum01,2020/04/13,"To those struggling during this time Don’t be afraid to reach out, don’t be afraid to visit people, don’t forget that the opposite of addiction is connection.

If you live In a place where you are aloud to buy alcohol and cigarettes, then you I’ve in a place where it’s ok to do a little socializing.

We are social creatures and it is just as vital to socialize as it is to eat to drink, and far more important then beer and smokes. 

Your recovery is important, don’t let society keep you down. 
Get out there and connect, it IS VITAL Period.",6.191944444444445,5.802646898148147,7.163333333333334,75.765,66.12962962962963,11.644444444444444,30.962962962962962,11.20814326018867,3.3922851851851847,427,14,85,12,6,144,67,108,0.043,0.84,0.11599999999999999,0.7113,0,0,5,0,0,0,11.0,1,5,0,0,4,6,0,3,4,1,15,5,0,0,0,12,17,10,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,8,4,1,0,2,1,1,4,3,0,0,0,0,6,3,16,14,1,16,0,0,0,0,10,11,0,1,4,61,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231674826246525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187760337660591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20054089107972412,0.0,0.20947259562544815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069541392195679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819583985457408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093330021391088,0.0,0.0,0.205176294158464,0.1807654071551888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14192227938542612,0.0,0.42776321184328736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6260376390366802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140105674756252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11936984782796704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,W-h-y--M-e,2020/04/13,"Weird addiction i have Well, how do i say this without being weird? (don't judge ok? ) So i have a place on my foot where i pull off my skin and eat it chew it like gum sometimes i am starting to stop but i need help with how im supposed to stop?",-1.9785000000000004,-0.11291496363636,0.3930681818181832,104.48960227272728,98.63636363636364,3.4772727272727275,15.965909090909092,5.148860815047168,-1.1078636363636365,187,5,49,1,8,62,41,55,0.134,0.706,0.161,0.3517,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,1,1,6,5,2,2,0,9,8,5,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,2,2,2,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,0,2,8,3,6,7,0,8,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,4,31,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3098728264258563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908571826944457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905257807824948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30703716201526177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388694612919903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210766664295725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2969791878636337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22604581958005426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2811290390441572,0.0,0.20119255441696854,0.0,0.0,0.4752889549290954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255573542307838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740054147877655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,7Suz4chatting,2020/04/13,"Codeine withdrawal Hi All, hope everyone is doing okay. I am in recovery from coke and alcohol 7 years but started taking codeine for headaches a few years ago. I am definitely addicted  to them since the lock down I’ve really noticed it as I can’t travel to different pharmacies I am genuinely looking for help so please nobody say it’s a mild addiction I minimise it enough myself. I am on day 4 and I have cit down to 4 tabs a day what do I do now? I read a trial that said pregablin is a good withdrawal my rx is due next week and seeing as though I can’t get solpadeineANYWHERE and I usually don’t take my rx I was going to try 300mg a day for two weeks and was wondering if by the end of this I’d be over the withdrawal. Obviously I know recovery is way more complex than that but really trying to put an action plan in place. I feel so shit cos I’ve done treatment twice and I am now studying to become an addiction counsellor the irony is not lost on me. Any genuine caring advice would be much appreciated as I have no one to talk to or ask about this. Xx",2.653775766716944,4.191338542986429,4.735889894419309,82.97667546505784,75.33484162895928,8.893011563599801,26.75741578682755,9.444778638647367,2.363138562091503,842,32,177,22,18,291,139,221,0.049,0.799,0.152,0.9604,1,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,2,6,6,1,0,12,1,24,8,1,1,2,20,39,16,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,1,6,2,0,0,8,6,2,0,4,2,0,4,5,2,0,3,5,5,21,4,26,31,5,28,0,1,2,0,7,8,1,4,15,116,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4249645578473341,0.0,0.1269768257257507,0.115184842163203,0.1388673943646132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08836432501500567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12147727933612545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14350960793014367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13248349334379278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514035548737477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576067179560286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13297474122137615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508914333411227,0.13426377193026245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241641787510024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06570206582153226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06788880104579208,0.0,0.07384845572242019,0.1089883324064928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709670256519901,0.0,0.0,0.12906071656873716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141216657936565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911770012248254,0.0,0.14184593381557994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09552157447237596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381937106773633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479386715752595,0.0,0.0,0.08805137368619577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576067179560286,0.1426361799333368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13062657890317814,0.0,0.0,0.12997614791804432,0.0,0.16648704341317452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12360363201021153,0.10333428595968522,0.0,0.0,0.1035461407658362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338255281735711,0.10748852477291096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919728973077502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19539889728970905,0.10444164089624727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12766635707519808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17644279722909684,0.0,0.12693346024592947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14311163599870022,0.0,0.0,0.10314110487786314,0.2084616389588846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14091545428265492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230634687472117,0.0,0.0,0.16735546688153008
addiction,NumerousPhrase7,2020/04/13,"Blew thousands Relapsed on coke/crack again, thousands gone I feel so empty and alone locked in this apartment with no support due to this damn lockdown. I just want to die",4.362395833333332,6.965991281250003,2.9512500000000017,92.90208333333337,73.6875,4.266666666666667,29.416666666666664,3.1291,0.7856541666666672,139,6,25,0,3,39,28,32,0.348,0.552,0.1,-0.8706,0,2,0,0,0,1,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,2,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,1,1,2,1,5,3,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,16,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5152098527834384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5162762420962407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515264848553708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5645022011409018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2934098528768749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,dumbshow3,2020/04/13,"How can a recovering addict relax and unwind? Hello. Im a recovering addict with a bit of insomnia, i find it hard to relax and just enjoy the moment especially at the end of a day. This has been a reason i slipped up before, the thought of having a few drinks and a smoke is really tempting some times. Im looking for suggestions or advise someone can give to help me relax at the end of the day, maybe some kind of relaxing activities i can do while listing to jazz?",4.892588652482266,5.392188968085108,6.964680851063832,73.03333333333335,68.8936170212766,9.670921985815603,29.49645390070922,9.725611199111238,2.7846794326241127,369,13,69,8,6,131,61,94,0.015,0.7959999999999999,0.19,0.9474,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,12,0,8,4,0,2,0,12,11,6,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,3,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,4,6,13,9,4,10,0,0,1,0,5,3,0,3,7,49,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4270995816530328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666885680287477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21386192244612476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526666074379701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918983215590904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34700205508759435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17904056206903268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18791622087394516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17547960125223702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313014151723164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42319116832927495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20399003225594728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644988618909566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967985498816701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12549260628805495,0.20140827766856745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16597756473700515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15551534426254982,0.1142254495809754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,dirtydandirtyman,2020/04/13,"I overdosed (27)M  Yesturday evening I sat down to do what I thought was a Xanax bar. I don’t do them often but do enjoy relaxing everyone once in a while. Well I believe it was fentanyl because the next thing I know I’m leaving the hospital with my parents more out of it then I’ve ever been. My brother came into my room and found me completely unconscious and not breathing. After about 10 minutes of my family doing cpr the medics came and revived me relatively shortly with more cpr and narcan. My brother absolutely saved my life, and the absolute chaos I put my family through will never go away. My family has been fantastic through this I just can’t keep putting them through this. If I wouldn’t have made it I would have absolutely shattered lives. Even when you think you don’t matter you maybe be somebody’s whole world. 

Please check any prescription drugs you haven’t gotten from a doctor and be careful, I thought it couldn’t happen to me but I was so close to losing it all. My advice is the next time your about to do any dangerous drugs think of your family frantically trying to do cpr while underinformed and your lips start to fade to blue. That’s an image that will never leave there minds.",4.2925101214574894,6.220806478632479,4.744781826360775,82.98062753036439,71.8205128205128,8.003238866396762,28.127755285650025,8.6894789155246,2.166165811965812,972,37,183,18,19,308,138,234,0.085,0.802,0.113,0.5895,1,0,2,0,0,0,16.0,0,7,2,1,11,8,1,1,9,0,26,9,2,1,4,38,43,15,0,4,5,3,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,0,11,14,1,1,6,2,1,5,9,3,1,0,13,1,33,5,24,23,4,27,0,1,1,0,12,9,0,2,13,132,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347350551404155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15793448394262932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10910085595137307,0.0,0.0,0.07078716229859708,0.0,0.0,0.1308302260570121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656262745451419,0.11839456787914975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12175217019479075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885623901777245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693303305334602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15339555436885172,0.10503939613030087,0.0,0.11095996881020642,0.0,0.0,0.4378796114298472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273222629967049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06599505933248481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10268669118416136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032149611733414,0.0,0.0,0.06381785677660036,0.0,0.0,0.2459137967832076,0.0,0.0,0.08202071431322353,0.0,0.0,0.10253824297269727,0.0,0.0,0.12991130864571804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987786151304464,0.0,0.0,0.1166606000242282,0.0,0.0,0.1169811427302658,0.0,0.0,0.11725056274657515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791215706298091,0.0,0.24699506702778606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236666099687079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128940228701866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12746756943763274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334702531226398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08219206150525835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771465900363009,0.14881314290495387,0.0,0.18437649449705915,0.06771192925032306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883951504478542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10440802031345407,0.0,0.0,0.12964655854155366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249005045765234,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,CGM2004,2020/04/13,"23 days sober and struggling with cravings Hey. Currently in an outpatient rehab and I’ve been finding it hard to resist cravings. I haven’t actually relapsed yet, but I feel it’s only a matter of time if I don’t find a way to address the intense desire to take something. Any input/advice/distraction is welcome.

For context, I was using benzodiazepines and alcohol daily along with fairly frequent painkiller and weed use. The main things that are always in the back of my mind are the want for percocet, xanax, or alcohol in that order. It’s funny because while I was using, I never even got too stuck up on percs, it was mainly xanax and klonopin. But now that I have some time sober (longest stretch in 5 years), I can’t stop thinking about how nice opiods would be. Any thoughts or suggestions?",6.020529801324503,7.083117443708612,6.084430463576162,78.33499006622519,66.6158940397351,8.424105960264901,32.98079470198675,8.548686976883017,2.7183954966887414,638,27,111,9,10,202,106,151,0.057,0.815,0.129,0.8945,1,0,3,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,1,7,0,13,5,0,4,1,30,23,12,0,4,5,0,2,0,0,1,5,0,1,0,8,8,2,1,5,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,7,2,9,2,17,14,3,21,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,4,12,75,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.17383696496897505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3807506359112642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14822506389920612,0.0,0.0,0.24227986054807515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13697710546176622,0.0,0.10859125494422114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11488425561967165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11765845112926812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900719116128489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3256297602219262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14247321024827536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595766339740744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17986857133583786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13739098666098395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354819556963339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13713931467498436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14893132194626696,0.0,0.18622848731504046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13393758617677173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11834695380740375,0.11414362022365553,0.0,0.14142165238377372,0.20774736924671505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.46156204023288205,0.0,0.0,0.10507039189078292,0.14139763135371394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12654410501473265,0.0,0.0,0.11471501415059075
addiction,cutiecarol,2020/04/13,"Will rehab convince my boyfriend to break up with me? Hi everyone! This is my first reddit post ever. Today has been a really awesome day. My boyfriend of almost three years has finally agreed to check himself into a rehab facility for his cocaine addiction. I am SO relieved and he actually seems sort of excited about it which is awesome. We made the call to the facility together this morning and I've been on cloud 9 ever since. I started doing some more research on my own (googling stuff like ""how to be a supportive girlfriend while my boyfriend is in rehab"" and ""what relationship changes should I expect after rehab"", etc) and I happened upon a topic that made me a bit uneasy... 

There seems to be a common trend of people being ""brainwashed"" into ending their current relationships while in rehab. I know that this is an INCREDIBLY selfish thing for me to even be worried about right now, obviously my top priority is making sure my boyfriend is healthy and safe and alive. But this still has me a bit worried. I love my boyfriend very much, we talk about marriage often, and aside from his drug use I think we have a very healthy relationship. I would be so crushed if he came out of rehab and suddenly didn't want to be with me anymore because some counselor had put that thought in his head. I understand that part of recovery involves avoiding certain triggers, and that addicts are often encouraged to end toxic friendships and get rid of possessions that remind them of drug use, so if he truly needed to break up with me because being with me reminded him of cocaine then of course I'd be willing to make that sacrifice. But oh boy would it hurt. 

So is it true that this is a common part of recovery? Are addicts really encouraged to end romantic relationships, even healthy, supportive ones? Any advice would be appreciated, thank you so much for taking the time to read this.",7.285025242188567,7.892610991404009,7.289709373720836,72.39933142311367,63.72779369627507,10.086014463091828,36.6763542093055,9.957137785484203,3.779206194569518,1512,70,255,30,21,485,190,349,0.05,0.762,0.188,0.9938,1,1,4,0,0,0,37.0,3,1,2,2,18,17,0,1,13,0,35,13,1,8,6,60,58,23,0,9,4,0,0,1,1,6,11,0,0,1,21,21,0,2,6,1,1,2,1,3,0,3,8,0,35,14,45,35,11,40,1,1,0,1,28,13,0,10,23,193,56,2,0.0,0.0,0.0882506750640138,0.29575968255441154,0.0,0.08837119466773541,0.0,0.0,0.09055672772338913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0614983161136031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968636620243517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11025562436143864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974613166273293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234336777488944,0.10343256388509718,0.0,0.0,0.09566732866175484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05832253867566198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20974978222165447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402934164936956,0.0,0.10085797094878077,0.11946179273202726,0.16360571361856008,0.0,0.08641369595160006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990661796536133,0.0,0.07692323302903499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04724810546087056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997061107183508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928115175803454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09681161695034872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04970023812108932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04418155265172797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08162034186222357,0.17114193917702114,0.12073098096237865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329589963273909,0.0670557686994336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06128051351346945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19586272110126365,0.0,0.06269564574666715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661090752579223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091128847373622,0.0,0.0,0.0904586124607972,0.0,0.11586885117838992,0.0,0.0,0.3883696880157267,0.0,0.07723026117856631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16465568862508045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07480805487901131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06400974954038825,0.0,0.07222082078156787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035254537761436,0.0,0.2052471800730802,0.08523310642152444,0.0,0.0679952183855383,0.07268753590513034,0.0,0.08325960562430204,0.0,0.0,0.06008042401762498,0.05794654514812661,0.0,0.07179460532898599,0.052732874110139966,0.0,0.08572099024754122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09414512875711743,0.0,0.15621212148116306,0.0,0.1492352725606937,0.0533403986617976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18368051728236826,0.0,0.19272545447824704,0.0,0.0,0.058236620965939664
addiction,mossvd,2020/04/14,"non-mainstream addictions Ever since I've managed to overcome my addiction, I've been feeling like some kind of outcast, like I wasn't an OG. Why is that? Well, because I'm not addicted to opiates or alcohol. I'm addicted to an MMO video game called World of Warcraft. It all started when I got my first computer as a kid, and lasted for the last 12 years, throughout my entire education. It basically ruined my entire life: I've failed high school, wasted literally thousands of dollars, made a suicide attempt, started having problems with my back (sitting for 15 hours straight every day isn't the best for your back :d) Happily, these days are gone, but it wasn't an easy road. Hours of therapy, relapses, trying to find a meaning in life, which felt incredibly empty, sometimes still does. I'm going through the same shit every other addict does: constant scare of relapsing, missing the ""fantastic"" times when I used to play for days with only taking breaks for a breakfast, fighting with myself each day. 

And yet I still feel like I'm not worthy to be a part of the community. Like my addiction is a piece of cake compared to what those addicted to benzos or alcohol had to overcome. But the only difference is the physical aspect - at least that's what it seems like.

What's even worse is the fact, that I'm not the only one, who feels that way. The entire society warns about benzodiazepines or opiates, but nobody really talks about all other addictions, which can tear lives apart. These addictions seem to be very abstract to people. Try telling someone that you are an recovering alcoholic - the reaction will be wonderful. Then tell another person, that you've struggled with porn addiction - they probably won't be too enthusiastic.

What I am trying to say is basically not to underestimate the success of those, who recovered - no matter what they were addicted to. Show as much love to these people, as you would show to alcoholics and drug addicts - we all know they need it. 

Oh, and I hope that nobody will get angry because of this post, I just mean that we are all equal - no matter what we are fighting with. If you've managed to quit anything that was bad for you, be proud of yourself. Had to get this off my chest.",7.400217391304345,7.707700000000003,7.469384057971016,72.23494565217393,63.49275362318841,10.668115942028983,35.84903381642512,10.411451182825502,3.827364251207728,1776,77,306,39,24,573,225,414,0.146,0.743,0.111,-0.9524,0,0,5,0,5,1,61.0,3,4,3,7,14,23,3,2,22,0,29,24,2,2,6,52,58,17,1,5,12,0,4,5,0,4,19,1,0,2,33,13,5,0,11,5,1,2,10,10,1,3,11,5,25,13,48,38,13,37,0,3,0,2,23,8,1,9,28,203,58,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7582218973510192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477672485646553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06077630878565106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047696294646574836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913561091076408,0.0483943344093045,0.0706639829801443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06082563947072798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05918383036299961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626343704593889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495181004762308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060556058295742864,0.0,0.0,0.10144269891599808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06721541475476785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03828215629490336,0.052428306626322564,0.09766791321220912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08791923482883736,0.0828135370862991,0.05565086804349659,0.0,0.052974560073852414,0.04930090470235015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06056361005559236,0.0,0.03294010946344112,0.0,0.04635605560172422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06123811886790113,0.0,0.05756754274163752,0.1141582162701583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060356614687364474,0.03185340250021825,0.09449057505708487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187798708190022,0.14158209627399168,0.0,0.051179906221358616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05231133088755987,0.054843329522804726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12627126858495052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042607405780660634,0.042976743595082384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039275322134449016,0.13224399998452935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276523338606692,0.0,0.08036459037133943,0.050608598888977764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055509836625059886,0.0,0.0624908836943173,0.05546007042008454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061647792396015186,0.0,0.0,0.0371307793820913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046092266351957865,0.058028257539577875,0.05865880269730301,0.0,0.10552955321756798,0.0,0.0,0.05949529813909249,0.047945264900218464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04910947760922493,0.0,0.057324106108072564,0.0,0.08204903610644748,0.0,0.09257415900690608,0.0,0.0,0.06059257103533616,0.0,0.06339903629338757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043578846726002776,0.04658620210820905,0.1013195147301659,0.0,0.06628252410537226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0337970506284329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180534853012033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050058991355627504,0.0,0.04782322362846421,0.0,0.04600609791526903,0.0,0.0,0.0521131680579227,0.0,0.05230005284055804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628553494281392,0.0,0.0,0.05906638133069804,0.04117325325870788,0.0,0.0,0.03732445956015607
addiction,Majeure21,2020/04/14,"Any advice on preventing an Adderall addiction? I first got diagnosed with and treated for ADHD in September, though I had it my entire life. The doctor instantly put me on Adderall, and we slowly worked our way up to 20 mg per day XR. From November 2019 to March 2020, I was taking 20 mg every single day.

It worked really well. So many of the symptoms I once had were taken care of. It was incredible!

The one thing I am worried about is Adderall's addiction potential. Schedule II drugs are not a laughing matter. For the first time, I went off of Adderall 18 days ago to see if I had any withdrawal symptoms. I haven't taken it in 18 days.

For the first 7-8 days of this, I literally couldn't stay awake through the day. I would get really tired from not having taken Adderall that I had to take a long nap mid-day. That eventually went away though.

I do plan on going back onto Adderall at some point soon. Without it, I am suffering from the exact same symptoms I started taking it to prevent.

Do you have any advice on preventing an Adderall addiction?",3.6974643061107924,5.5623609223300985,5.060154197601374,80.36665619645919,73.27184466019419,8.14802969731582,28.137064534551683,8.841846274778883,2.3810705882352936,834,33,154,17,17,278,123,206,0.061,0.8859999999999999,0.053,0.1788,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,2,1,0,6,7,5,0,0,11,0,18,11,0,0,1,17,32,6,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,11,0,0,0,10,4,0,3,0,1,0,4,5,1,1,4,13,1,19,4,30,17,3,35,0,1,1,0,3,12,0,2,17,106,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3344203790991989,0.1228910977756826,0.19984555140842247,0.0906432262912096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2086114984745079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960722973083572,0.07862807681012259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10425617678059106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4616238335070579,0.0,0.0,0.10378706013934093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466271627564523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11858377903424255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615456946407256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609351267447341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053424216591916214,0.0,0.058114089993015865,0.0,0.08178297008847958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722260002658088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904927951658857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367090759953174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10889864443708636,0.06929089314530831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966643877276332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027949019055032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310148320494532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148430030160264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07237688559326634,0.1089906315621157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3188474839486233,0.2306499639812252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793393204538069,0.0,0.2009307870170156,0.0,0.059625935484492534,0.11752751908541295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116556253229107,0.0,0.0,0.09193986867895804,0.1895835268929555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09857053913102956,0.0,0.14888627171440372,0.10384530388350983,0.0,0.07263928943033397,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,kawika69420,2020/04/14,"Advice on quitting I know that vaping may not be a “serious addiction” but for me it has been terrible. I need to stop and I want to stop and I’ve tried to stop but I can’t. I feel a little hopeless to say the least. As of today will be almost two years and countless dollars I’ve wasted. Even now as I type I’m hitting an unbelievably burnt pod system because I can’t go to the shop during quarantine. Vaping has taken so much from me. It’s effecting my lungs because I have light asthma and I can feel how bad it is when I do anything physical. I’ve had a NSTEMI because vaping caused my heart arrhythmia to flare. It’s almost killed me yet I persist. I scream in my head no as I watch myself vape but I won’t stop. I lie to cover it up and I’m ashamed. At times I feel like a prisoner in my own body being forced to watch it act on its own. I need help. If anyone has any good suggestions on how to quit or maybe how you quit please let me know. I should’ve never taken that first hit, I regret it every day. 

      Urgently awaiting your reply,
      A desperate bastard :(",0.6888988095238133,2.8160781875000005,3.168750000000003,88.9679166666667,84.08928571428572,6.411904761904763,20.49404761904762,7.645422480735847,0.8449529761904766,830,25,177,15,24,287,135,224,0.273,0.6629999999999999,0.065,-0.9954,0,1,0,0,0,1,19.0,0,2,0,6,8,11,2,1,8,0,18,6,4,5,1,33,33,18,1,5,6,0,3,1,0,3,2,2,0,0,10,5,0,4,6,1,2,2,6,9,0,2,4,8,30,2,22,20,4,24,0,2,2,0,5,8,1,5,14,115,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14213352736155893,0.0,0.12740590103557575,0.0,0.0,0.2611136249501006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08866292241588247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911647804342438,0.0,0.10729169321875387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10886191725045782,0.2384354520524167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448228720456887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13393625261371134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08408436276767771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611481037217462,0.0,0.10985083704434824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977722513075888,0.09314355214866953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090122580646687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07409800164419049,0.1093566216768171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13380757234597318,0.0,0.0,0.15450101748898198,0.08739101646400932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14424623637371134,0.0,0.1433069597691413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333224609485717,0.0,0.06369711924692692,0.1306750879507113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13098431033840302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958443573812056,0.19335034821937694,0.10055715207535558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14311817074345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4160257780008709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10368346928908634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4360143253556645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760256706436821,0.0,0.12358506684460625,0.0,0.0,0.08851951304391284,0.0,0.12736238901675748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690154669352163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08396049408780705
addiction,psystudies11,2020/04/14,"Hey there ! I know it's much to ask, but I'd really appreciate your help . Hello there,

My name is Maria, I'm currently in my final year studying **clinical psychology .** I'm doing my final year's paper on **Drug Addition** , but due to the current COVID-19 situation , I couldn't gather enough participants for my thesis.

**I've also struggled with addiction** in the past , involving many types of drugs, and it took me a while to get over it, and that is why finishing this research is very important to me. (Because if I can't get enough participants, I'd have to change the topic of my thesis and start over). So I'd truly appreciate if you could help me by completing this form. The form is linked bellow ,and on an average it takes about 20 minutes to complete.

Also , I want to specify that your name/address is not requested, and the rest - basic (age , sex,etc. ) - information will remain strictly confidential.

If I get enough participants, and you guys request it, I could maybe ,at the end of the research, interpret the results of the tests,and maybe send them to you individually or something.

P.S. I'm from **Europe** , but I'm really not looking for a specific country. You could be from anywhere.

Thank you.

​

**tldr:** I need **people that struggle with addiction** to complete this form, in order to finish my studies. Can't do it live because of COVID-19. Need help.

[https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScLwCj8J98FXyeJYaBGB4fKDWsLVkX2eA9TIR3uTzOuNNkRiw/formResponse](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScLwCj8J98FXyeJYaBGB4fKDWsLVkX2eA9TIR3uTzOuNNkRiw/formResponse)",5.0129993206521775,8.419795632812505,4.7413722826086975,70.98161684782613,92.671875,6.44483695652174,24.31521739130435,7.505811317475913,2.126793410326088,1286,48,188,27,46,394,140,256,0.023,0.8540000000000001,0.12300000000000001,0.9791,2,0,3,0,0,0,102.0,0,7,1,0,6,3,0,2,12,0,16,5,0,1,0,31,33,17,0,10,9,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,12,9,0,0,4,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,1,1,24,1,31,26,8,25,0,0,1,0,22,8,0,4,14,124,36,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23600194684601256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731239610744736,0.0,0.11728137066334217,0.13152723340395067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10119270145528801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13196799733801673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11450686391092785,0.0,0.340472542275134,0.0,0.0,0.2592699602491189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25105529864976145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09587127227247902,0.335532221254469,0.1207196868075746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371500847876554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16965768118766128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071777025250658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21765923640831455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059487585599820286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09558065429000827,0.0,0.09089695548275524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097415299152197,0.2174895172165124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07957114466958314,0.1605217975314552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333030192229699,0.07504214736364179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13868662331222315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12166979728242185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08333083876441973,0.0,0.0,0.07661503443363071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263184133094136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08138535200240464,0.0,0.0,0.09965571803732012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12026208434998653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931190660834805,0.06384459413637669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09767257580117236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13152723340395067,0.1394100352724706
addiction,alexisokayE,2020/04/14,"From eating disorders to drug abuse I felt like sharing some shit ,so here..

I was a happy creative and smart [child.My](https://child.My) parents were loving and in [love.My](https://love.My) childhood in all was like a fairy tale ,as i was a only child.Then at 14 i started becoming anxious and started feeling strange about my apperance ,like most teens do. By 16 i thought i was disgusting,fat and unlovable, even thought i had a nice athletic body.Long story short i rolled straight to anorexia and bulimia for 2 years.Nice. Of course i got help and love and antidepressants and i made it to university healthy and happy. Weed helped alot tho. 

Three months away from my home , im using weed more and more while iam starting to experiment with mdma and coke. I got hooked up immidiatly. lost a shit ton of kg again in the period of  6 months. I broke up with my relationship and started having a dangerous sex life.I only studied and partied lol. I felt lost and my brain was foggy all the time from the substances .I was totally fried, but i enjoyed it in a weird way bc i couldnt focus on my problems.I lost my best friends but i had made new ones so i just ingored that fact. anyway all this is another whole story ..

now in this fucking quarantine, im living again in my hometime with my family and one month now i am experiencing fucking withdraws syptoms as am gaining some weight back. i didnt lost weight in purpose but i was satisfied with it. Now i have my parents worrying that i have relapsed in my eating disorder and try to feed me all the time. Im really vunerable now and i cant deal with this shit. im really irritaded all the time and im starting to get sad about gaining those 3 -4 kgs .I dont want to relapse to ED, this shit is a full blown hell but my mother triggers the fuck out of me commenting on my skinny picture.Ofc they dont know what i have done, they still get mad at me for smoking regural cigs lol.

i feel like they are tired of me, all of them. i feel all alone",2.4693295424490884,4.6720813944723645,3.7042845807987312,87.15948690822535,78.02010050251256,6.903041523406508,26.554086220576572,7.94452939551167,1.661803015075376,1577,64,318,27,38,513,209,398,0.166,0.6809999999999999,0.153,-0.8649,2,2,1,0,1,0,57.0,0,0,4,7,17,32,10,0,15,2,26,20,6,4,9,56,56,28,0,2,5,3,7,4,1,0,2,0,1,0,11,24,7,0,8,0,0,0,5,18,0,3,24,8,48,14,45,31,18,43,1,6,0,6,16,19,8,4,27,203,59,0,0.0,0.08523458337004541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07450591245818182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07543310322028875,0.0,0.08126928894601937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675879737504848,0.05531576261194893,0.0,0.0,0.0794496983138471,0.0,0.0,0.07549433047698935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030642667864718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07416475977028265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648940063355224,0.0,0.0,0.07361739207414507,0.16862123795794104,0.0,0.0834250618456115,0.14722075018098393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0475142683882515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07036901653746268,0.06781659828678117,0.0,0.1091218082901783,0.0513924110881744,0.13814322578322988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05557900086383866,0.19951613649076724,0.07516911013515537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11507053313892195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15315834809664122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09643684269981834,0.0,0.07215952433420554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38852608784302795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039535158464306976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05081182762185649,0.14058079005814655,0.0,0.06352243540186703,0.06366272937815798,0.0,0.0,0.31411462441398275,0.0,0.2597068562586751,0.13613865729913366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17226030548138396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06947801930707961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09749389154339204,0.10942394605634052,0.0,0.0,0.15975692797071125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217045160335027,0.0,0.0,0.0772343239132286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29537265788721856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545898859854783,0.0,0.0574496562182471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142212273369135,0.12584260838811287,0.0826819707392747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0488410748649204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062131201079525064,0.0,0.0,0.042430805029657175,0.05710091320360899,0.0,0.17520183092314925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08031603527888671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730563738937388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,stupidmove222,2020/04/14,"I boofed using someones needless syringe and am concerned Last night my friend that I use with and ex boyfriend said I wouldn't waste some dope if I just broke the tip off a syringe while boofing instead of using the one I have that you get with baby tylenol. He showed me the syringe still had the vacuum in it (it popped when he pulled it out) and he offered to break the needle off for me and I said sure because I was high. I normally wouldn't do anything like this, I don't shoot up myself. Well, now I am paranoid he could've cut himself on the needle while breaking it causing some blood to drip down and then I boofed with it. Please, someone let me know if I am panicking for nothing or if there is a risk for Hep C. I am always super careful and I am just freaking out over this and my stupidity.",5.891575757575757,5.249497309090909,5.934545454545457,85.16848484848488,66.81818181818181,8.303030303030303,32.878787878787875,6.937597516519254,1.8903333333333323,636,24,134,4,9,201,102,165,0.11699999999999999,0.7659999999999999,0.11699999999999999,0.015,1,0,0,1,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,8,11,2,1,8,0,14,2,1,4,1,29,22,15,0,6,6,1,0,1,1,2,1,2,1,0,9,12,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,5,1,1,4,2,22,6,18,15,2,21,0,1,0,0,11,10,0,6,9,96,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553871183822282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536755383381431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138382520702883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19039936373105076,0.19183894955819275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14910099258633075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14427901953896724,0.0,0.09756675490160846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19730675000171552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10263037859428603,0.15222241158749014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19095980633901094,0.0,0.0912343611811822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17524789131463347,0.18297082538252668,0.17918723138423534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265435044197689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20499035177054686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35527524668330834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31645751373454273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149135103963561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17600531328433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4838641556274192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16790652639056738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,TigerTamer23,2020/04/14,"What are some of the dangers of caffeine addiction? I am not sure if I am a caffeine addict, but I will say I drink an absurd amount of black coffee (and sometimes tea). I consistently drink it throughout the day and very frequently have at least one cup before going to bed. I find that it relaxes me. I usually don't get the jittery feeling a lot of people will talk about when drinking coffee either, but whenever I do I love it. If I ever have to go a day without the drink, it doesn't seem to be an issue. But with that said, that is a rare occurrence and I have not really tried to avoid it for a long period (minus a period of about 2-3 weeks when I only drank tea instead). I was just wondering if it sounds like I have a caffeine addiction to you guys and what some of the dangers of that would be?",5.610776439089693,4.839321951807231,6.886465863453817,78.5415997322624,67.43373493975903,10.26934404283802,31.095046854082995,9.725611199111238,2.687646050870148,628,21,130,12,9,215,94,166,0.069,0.84,0.09,0.6523,0,1,4,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,0,7,7,2,1,14,0,17,11,0,0,2,27,26,12,0,4,11,0,1,1,0,3,3,3,1,1,12,5,7,1,4,5,0,2,5,3,0,1,3,5,16,4,18,18,6,14,0,0,1,1,6,1,0,8,12,100,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4674141416870151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161503203014826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843441210150546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5600316998083651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12928000115776805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226502572025707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13062697669204246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467019327851579,0.0,0.16245031219194936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415140129230288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491721315027494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982385946843134,0.0,0.0,0.1264803667026961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12150611114604645,0.12899155728811462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684679932927732,0.10869767097992457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990832529677209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155869243916286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13595036220927784,0.11365631718407512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13010968349010427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14135227667831796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13470111591023085,0.0,0.0,0.11487428547733212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09703380799737406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15740701493932038,0.11792458700071715,0.0,0.0,0.1146424051716325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377705033038367,0.1549914572820091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152680052958994,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,oskarmans,2020/04/14,"Weed addiction So basically i have been addicted to weed for 5 months now. First weeks i used to smoke 2-3 times in a week, and i did because that ""high"" feeling was so good and life there was so much better than the reality ( still it is ) after that i went for a stoner status and i smoked like every day but i kinda feel that im losing friends, motivation i have become more lazy im rude to people and kinda hurt my close friends/family member feelings because im being so ""toxic and careless"". After a LSD and LSA trip i realized that i have to stop smoke because it makes me lazy and i dont got motivation, im depressed n etc. So  right now i have been done weed 2 days with last 7 days, and last time i did was 3 days ago and i FEEL right now that i dont get motivation to stop, because i can't see that anything would change, i just wanna get that high and be on my own world. I really dont know what to do ( btw i am 15, i know im fucking young and it's very bad to me ) So.. can anybody give me some advice what should i do? I know most of you woulf say that i should find new hobbies and just find another things to live and stop smoking but i feel that i have to smoke again, i can't live without it like but the same time i feel that i have to because without weed life would be better.. so overall i just wanna hear some advices what should i do.. ( i know my english is bad but i hope you can understand, if anything is unclear then just ask me and i will answer )
Thanks to everyone who will answer. :)",1.0432710280373811,2.8103103831775726,3.02972897196262,92.39879906542058,80.6822429906542,5.8999376947040485,21.29190031152648,6.88968998030894,0.35154778816199395,1167,34,267,13,30,393,151,321,0.138,0.752,0.109,-0.9257,0,0,4,0,0,0,35.0,0,2,0,7,17,16,2,0,5,0,38,5,0,5,0,66,62,27,0,9,11,0,6,2,1,7,4,2,0,0,19,16,0,3,19,0,0,2,7,8,0,1,10,9,41,8,24,42,8,37,0,3,1,1,8,8,1,8,29,173,60,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17419464868353246,0.0,0.15614490530897354,0.07082208178462507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08377685577944073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314935269238729,0.0,0.07469102401448814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13341794707043916,0.2435162001943627,0.08823773162190429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413212396185144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08451829824875083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061026177846863,0.0,0.06881343173081649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176030648829757,0.2809089749197867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910402525769175,0.0,0.0,0.06731496896525882,0.07634308001885247,0.0,0.0,0.0753178794399092,0.0,0.2423838236860237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14604513396622232,0.06795863167030429,0.0,0.0,0.061726665627655976,0.0738616243129826,0.08348366207964819,0.07664254774116454,0.0,0.06701212109424916,0.06389931639886416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900474523584552,0.0,0.0,0.16882687201996194,0.0,0.07935374527025567,0.0,0.0,0.08552923165946491,0.0,0.4315014580895706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17563277274748196,0.13025014906701227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11286437844495666,0.07806530602133231,0.0,0.14109746735143486,0.0,0.0,0.08938204955931478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05333052150395126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06377141313627224,0.0,0.05873200529192483,0.0,0.0,0.07716307237596008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05538912145075092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05118277189624442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13645975777576938,0.0,0.06353569717987237,0.0,0.0,0.06366595736103779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06380423657660195,0.20038734958302407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07355656605724077,0.0,0.0,0.05307867656665367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397622211438329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08317349488344275,0.0,0.06900361313576192,0.0,0.06592172820103373,0.0,0.0,0.12817387223906376,0.0,0.0,0.07406344961450613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15403182498082285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351020715623099,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,finsub_throwaway,2020/04/14,"I have a problem with my findom addiction trying not to relapse Bratty mean girls are a real weakness to me. Like having someone who is seducing me for as much cash as possible while treating me like garbage and laughing at me for the financial misfortune she's causing me. I am a real masochist I guess but there's a real rush to it for me.

I spent like 7k last year. I've been better most of this year so far I had a small relapse and spent like 1k a few months other than that i've kept away. Although now with this stupid corona virus going around and being stuck indoors I find myself browsing twitter a lot looking at dommes twitter pages and getting turned on by all the mean bratty comments they post on twitter and about the stuff they're doing to other subs.

I'm really trying to stay away. I have like close to 5k in a savings account right now that i'm trying to hold on to and keep building up but these stupid masochistic, self destructive fantasies I have are hard to resist. I'm really afraid i'm going to eventually give in and go on some big multi-thousand dollar binge.",5.89213675213675,6.1556563333333365,6.186296296296295,80.30371794871796,66.68518518518519,8.312820512820513,31.430199430199426,7.882392219407189,2.1783237891737888,872,32,162,9,13,280,132,216,0.136,0.778,0.086,-0.9231,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,1,6,15,3,1,11,0,12,3,0,1,1,31,31,14,0,1,3,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,0,2,10,11,0,3,3,1,5,4,1,6,0,0,6,2,18,9,33,24,7,30,0,0,1,1,7,17,0,4,12,106,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438247760680104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174469793564468,0.0,0.0,0.2479079178834689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11668266387857153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13552996184041388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205829733993442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06892874778120517,0.12656068770724366,0.2249390842131115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14533738824157014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818468309861213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726675238144232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10754175667256856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222752605218302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11078920697295143,0.0,0.0,0.11216341784226586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874240956348401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530644061894193,0.0,0.09698481064688227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14873290930735314,0.1263538789907835,0.0,0.0,0.12624059901333087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4505006888522553,0.16903735590388008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11266875448080482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13763329634817908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178510635960467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14062139293206008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510299687715592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26871842367221865,0.14350355423643268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16991908221654808
addiction,my-darkest-secret,2020/04/14,"New here, seeking advice - sorry for the long post I'm going to try keep this as short as possible and straight to the point. 

I've reached a point where I can say I have a problem and I need to seek help.  have an addiction to MDMA and weed. I'm a 35 year old male, I'm an IT consultant by profession and my wife is a doctor. 

I was introduced to it by my wife when we were still dating. 

We are fresh into our marriage (2 years) but we have known each other for over a decade. Luckily she still has a job but I have no been able to find anything and I've hit a quite a depressing low. I have been laid off for a year and a half now and it's been tough on my mental state. I started using mdma and smoking pot a lot while being laid off to cope with my sad moods all the time.

I feel like absolute shit that i let it get this bad (or even start), while my wife is slaving away Im getting fucked up at home.  feel pathetic. I don't want to tell her in fear of ruining my marriage so I am reaching out here.

I want to do better for my wife. Please offer me some wisdom.

Thank you!",1.3988321662525431,2.6309496738197424,3.2716015360289137,93.44883894285068,78.01287553648068,6.62200135531963,21.705217980573753,7.273561745256523,0.4517090128755363,826,22,198,10,19,278,145,233,0.195,0.684,0.121,-0.9682,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,4,1,0,2,9,15,2,1,16,0,20,4,1,1,1,31,38,17,0,4,3,4,2,1,0,0,2,1,1,1,8,15,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,10,0,1,5,3,27,4,29,30,4,35,0,4,0,1,19,16,2,3,17,128,35,3,0.1415771411332213,0.0,0.0,0.15433998140612268,0.0,0.13834754376312833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11650592399842535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13301638452915854,0.0,0.11821099916510397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12521347618799542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194018420302642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449102030869871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09351036647267401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15931364456306307,0.14317131294815466,0.10114273791402373,0.0,0.0,0.12939894210959382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088578563400424,0.1479364257221985,0.0,0.08046155195250743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948961733835452,0.0,0.14201341605112125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15292760718327394,0.0,0.14049346686346995,0.12584026811590346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14477221895350129,0.0,0.06916743982006564,0.0,0.0,0.1252913147300866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12036382254498693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14267645896331432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10497765623284214,0.0,0.13673608512947194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14856139378074984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15540918614671956,0.2676723202940633,0.15960695427135926,0.1355917656691317,0.0,0.0,0.1354702036539372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15058471666994844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11258782511949306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14532690085506536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15848401840737553,0.2004180583752808,0.0,0.2261273755832785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237446616155301,0.1303452100666742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255476952799101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09612158546183776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122277193344523,0.0,0.0,0.16701173195523267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735131113026692
addiction,carpentervr,2020/04/14,"Celebrating friendships and recovery Over a year ago, I took my friend to an NA meeting. He reached out to me that he needed help, and it came at the perfect time because I was struggling with addiction myself and had never gone to NA before either. We caught up on the phone yesterday and he is now over a year clean! and through his support, I have been clean since August and no turning back!  Try not to be afraid to reach out to loved ones and friends when you need a push. <3 the reddit community is also so so supportive. Thanks to all!",5.203598382749328,6.042074481132076,5.344016172506741,83.71971698113208,68.33962264150944,8.321293800539085,30.23719676549865,8.418075326091056,2.087734770889488,429,16,85,6,7,135,79,106,0.038,0.6459999999999999,0.316,0.9873,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,1,0,1,7,9,0,2,7,0,7,2,0,0,3,19,18,11,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,2,0,2,12,0,0,0,0,0,5,3,2,0,1,7,0,9,7,16,10,2,22,0,0,0,1,12,7,0,0,10,60,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21730692188882636,0.0,0.0,0.17670036032318712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594098505926392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15327796761372853,0.0,0.1215140793226968,0.0,0.1696212367719428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227988600949402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3080147824833795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13361149294649655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17990956475614756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2956119488317797,0.15374110244809205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13507601490878096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648937542586553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20839047482570716,0.0,0.0,0.4524108817959384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18352287025361647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11623509793073962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2214709134334543,0.13533684320475822,0.2168215832053812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567331841990281
addiction,LookingforQandA,2020/04/14,"Recent Cocaine Relapse: 3 Questions (Long post imo) Some background, I recently completed a 3 1/2 Month 12 Step Treatment program in late 2019 and have since relapsed just after getting my 8 months clean, then a month went by and I just finished my worse bender ever. I currently live with the person I relapsed with (he was clean for 9 or 10 months as well). Sorry in advance for the grammar..

Question 1:

What alternatives are out there for Programs besides the 12 Steps?

I had a some good progress with some of the Steps, Steps 4 and 5 were eye opening, and Step 10 has been helpful but overall I couldn't  get behind believing in the spirituality aspect of the throughout the 12 steps. Hell I got into arguments in group several times and almost left a couple times as I felt the spirituality part was being shoved down my throat as an aesthetic plus I'm stubborn as a mule. I'm thinking I need to start attending meetings again, find activities to keep my busy, and communicate with people  who care are in my life. I'm not sure if I do another 3 to 4 month program again at the moment.

​

Question 2:

Should I move out? I'm on the fence about it.  I think I just need to have a good heart to heart with him about everything before giving up on our friendship.

Question 3:

Should I tell my parents? 

They are a huge part of my life, and I discovered through therapy (before going to Treatment) that when they moved away to retire that it was one of my many triggers that started my addiction with drugs. They were heart broken when I first told them I had problem before going to rehab but they have been as supportive as they from across the country. The main reason I don't want to tell them is because they already worry about me 24/7, think I'm going die everyday even before I relapsed, they have no trust in me. As I'm typing out my reasoning, I think their just excuses and I'm more afraid than anything of losing them.

​

I'm looking for suggestions and to hear from people about experiences with their relapses and what they did to recover. 

Before I started writing this post I had a bunch of questions, which I now can't think of. Hell I even feel better after writing all this out to be honest. Thanks in advance!",5.491955894145954,6.557297188372092,5.8346190858059375,79.64081395348839,67.81395348837209,8.349639133921412,31.57177225340818,8.53829466247534,2.4667770649558936,1781,72,326,26,29,570,222,430,0.113,0.782,0.105,-0.785,2,0,2,0,0,0,52.0,1,0,13,6,18,16,3,1,21,0,28,10,5,3,3,68,64,25,1,8,9,1,2,0,0,2,5,1,2,1,11,24,0,3,15,0,0,15,5,6,1,2,15,5,51,10,69,44,9,67,2,1,2,0,36,22,2,11,28,222,62,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07786796360754021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07152565134518142,0.0,0.07882348565782599,0.0,0.0,0.1547862062106521,0.17358768367757338,0.0,0.07489935203278537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058779837650105735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06710973330020241,0.0,0.0,0.04354234933825196,0.0,0.30390334963146765,0.08047582671766174,0.0,0.0631729919762297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728264485670376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489176504843388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07903463734750221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413184420868438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08283476098396457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09435613179532326,0.0646114624752409,0.0,0.0,0.0641956230324124,0.06987109792432238,0.0,0.0,0.03611656061093835,0.0,0.06858287447532561,0.0,0.06528465290228637,0.06075732288809106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463722691564836,0.06852103854396245,0.12178394364499072,0.1198222206265597,0.057128157282639085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805054781669968,0.25393050810361656,0.04787723639852392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0634892224862193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08057482692469534,0.0,0.0776076284238347,0.0,0.1009045843802704,0.0,0.0,0.0630729619759914,0.06321226325712269,0.059982224012631924,0.07991058548413425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07241761834490132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28506903712743603,0.1518350757511036,0.0,0.10592713878374924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04840202107574625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07931325821775488,0.15470091569341424,0.0,0.09903950841145286,0.06236889570638919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368181410729031,0.0,0.0,0.06834773978800265,0.0,0.0,0.4000831617548676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14688145912064252,0.1410546968324818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08069424194900246,0.0,0.05908666297474191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995872271909375,0.15167307200972424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810565852508003,0.06732082315953787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248638845167468,0.0657620661958064,0.08168508759060987,0.0,0.0,0.228843537587999,0.0,0.0,0.08330144568722178,0.0,0.0,0.06825330423778415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04213057221933296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642230928120398,0.06621523729708527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07253944001914267,0.07279207600766932,0.0,0.0,0.17358768367757338,0.0
addiction,AltPsych,2020/04/14,"Withdrawal Advice Hey everyone, 

I am in desperate need of help or advice. I’ve gotten myself into some shit and I’m at a loss on how to fix myself.

I’ll try to keep it short and to the point.

A couple of months ago, I got myself hooked on opioids. I went from 10 mg a day for a few months, to 50 mg a day for a month and I am trying so desperately to quit. I’m currently taking about 10 mg a day to wean off of it. 

This is something that I am absolutely not able to share with anyone except for my best friend. 

I am SO ready to leave this all behind but I have  failed all of my previous attempts at stopping. I’m scared, I borderline can’t handle the feeling of withdrawal. The restless nights, the unbearable anxiety, the loss of joy in everything. People I’ve talked to said you just have to push through but I’m just not strong enough. 

Rehab isn’t an option, but I would go willingly if I could. 

Please, any advice, any words of encouragement, any past experiences that you can share with me to help me. I am desperate.. 

Thank you to everyone and anyone in advance, your help will be beyond appreciated.",2.358169642857142,4.263149191964288,4.212821428571427,84.8071785714286,77.16964285714286,7.694285714285716,22.807142857142853,8.548686976883017,1.4449167857142862,865,26,179,18,20,293,126,224,0.142,0.696,0.162,0.7839,1,0,2,0,0,0,27.0,0,4,0,8,8,14,1,2,13,0,16,2,1,1,2,29,30,12,0,4,10,0,1,0,1,3,1,1,0,0,6,7,0,2,1,0,0,4,4,6,0,0,4,2,22,8,39,21,6,27,0,3,0,0,14,12,1,4,11,118,28,1,0.12980559858705631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3805335858771887,0.11506483112577558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2648167747885215,0.0,0.09930092762555076,0.0,0.0,0.1815261853251337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13622296734809386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036392080940761,0.1436274258946339,0.0,0.2511416176182312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13412388256413008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24806962429330506,0.1166609020967319,0.1269747831596709,0.0,0.0,0.06563361086745771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002874834716503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07377151304821743,0.0,0.10381739515716963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610178696449545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153771802311632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13744538645485627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108287711236225,0.0,0.0,0.0962492065915348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12181376100155107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239141316609784,0.08999085801117092,0.0,0.0,0.1424875673589129,0.12270824754210302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380642321842891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12347484943926935,0.0,0.12995804895540528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332435815930388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09993069152008267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852329272872838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759765563140103,0.10433282319559163,0.0,0.11950755524678446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17625896155467666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203310903568443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922101729316786,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,iamgettingbetter_,2020/04/14,"Hi fellow addicts- I have been working on my recovery from Gambling Addiction by Journaling here on Reddit (among many other behaviours) which I have the intention to continue doing every single day. I'm 9 days sober from Gambling right now, and feeling much gratitude. Link in description. [Here is a link to Day Nine.](https://www.reddit.com/r/DecidingToBeBetter/comments/g1779k/game_plan_day_nine_strength_in_weakness/) I have included links in every post to the previous day, along with a link to a profile regarding myself/ my positive qualities and my long term goals.

I don't know about anyone else's daily journaling practices while in recovery from addiction; but so far this is helping me massively. It's also a great way of keeping record of my recovery 'one day at a time'.

Wishing you all freedom from addiction at this time!",8.2009875735775,10.960903971223022,7.505088293001966,63.76160889470246,63.244604316546784,11.67325049051668,37.81621975147155,11.389717465364855,5.494058992805757,688,35,94,23,11,214,96,139,0.0,0.833,0.16699999999999998,0.9705,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,0,2,6,1,0,0,7,0,8,4,0,1,1,15,13,6,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,6,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,11,1,22,12,4,24,0,0,0,0,4,10,0,0,12,66,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6398773670229798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11734871879383685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10260471394814083,0.15035348800238446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.473179003349444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12258326995330655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472712303635501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07419665494955636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16178246242086894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09835739419560767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13043013659498182,0.0,0.0,0.08064501194348997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298611608118849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14877233462197348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10787151382144994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994354942959502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14053730798706546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12531600593079456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17113170573008846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11647616972236545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16874489964098732,0.0,0.0,0.10682919031478308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,koth72,2020/04/14,"Rant I smoked so much cigarettes my lips turned black. 

I snorted so much my skin went pale, cuts and bruises on my hands, panic attacks, lost friends, jobless, no money, been into jail and the hospital and still I dont think Im an addict. 


Love",3.213750000000001,5.007999541666671,3.84,88.905,74.41666666666666,6.466666666666668,26.583333333333336,7.1686216300943375,1.240358333333333,190,7,38,2,4,60,39,48,0.266,0.608,0.127,-0.7184,1,0,3,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,3,6,2,1,2,0,2,5,3,0,0,5,7,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,4,0,0,3,4,6,2,2,4,2,4,0,1,1,1,2,2,0,0,1,21,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2887356490320866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013156038092794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104130381554037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20462957957987732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2860934121716496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28912513060101164,0.0,0.239045790605428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3894040097116481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3107552324524042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211516918552545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16971109629961173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880907796531139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24552715431402666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Psithurism01123,2020/04/14,Night Sweats About how long will these annoying night sweats continue after opiate use? I’ve detoxed. I’m on naltrexone. It’s a swampy sleep every night. It’s been almost a month,1.4900980392156882,4.053746441176472,1.8905882352941177,91.60098039215687,99.2941176470588,5.79607843137255,17.43137254901961,7.1686216300943375,0.7089372549019615,145,4,27,3,6,44,27,34,0.091,0.909,0.0,-0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,2,0,2,4,3,2,0,3,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,8,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,7,11,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798201565694717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23544139779692644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472968098725375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22304742732687197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7867103587473332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2796431689586858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413476137544807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,sophakorn,2020/04/14,"How do I help a friend who has relapsed? So a cherished friend of my partner has (quietly and slowly) relapsed in the past 3 months. She had been clean for 13 years. The woman that we know (clean) is wonderful, caring and has a heart of gold. We want to do right by her.
She has lost her house, her job, and her mother has taken sole care of her teenage son. We offered her a place to stay til she gets herself back on her feet but we have just had it confirmed by a mutual friend that she is using ice. I told my partner that she wouldn't be able to stay if she was definitely using again. So now I want to know how we can help her? She knows the numbers to call, she has counsellors helping her but she just doesn't want help right now. What can we do?",2.03846153846154,3.5084876624203822,3.024458598726113,94.88902498775113,76.83439490445859,6.104654581087702,21.63106320431161,6.67199483983844,0.1878921117099459,581,15,135,5,13,185,87,157,0.01,0.76,0.23,0.9854,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,6,0,0,1,10,7,0,0,8,0,21,2,2,4,0,26,36,11,0,5,5,2,0,0,5,1,0,1,2,3,6,9,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,7,1,30,6,14,27,0,15,0,1,0,0,41,5,0,2,8,95,36,1,0.1474805579482083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134034456306169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15059413898001514,0.0,0.30073251578427634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3418293396883317,0.0,0.07705250449238636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17476517125982774,0.3954124369437808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17017276275348908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14635169714018662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24315437309562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16099245065735562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11771757430766387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14078688033453693,0.0,0.0,0.15408579341921466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25189518133538336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3143893037203161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14092399325997632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547517000900875,0.0,0.0,0.2609635625020537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15993637399542696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09497264397861824
addiction,dreydan17,2020/04/14,Someone plz read So for a while now ive been just talking sexual to girls for my own self gradifucation and i feel like absolute shit for it because i didnt treat them like women i was a lil asshole who only cared about sex and im fucking tired of it and i feel terrible about the shit ive done and i want to change but idk how when all i can think bout is sex idk what to do or how to stop,-0.10963383838383578,1.685886193181819,2.302878787878789,95.96737373737379,84.79545454545455,5.729292929292932,18.868686868686872,6.937597516519254,-0.04276919191919193,307,8,77,4,9,105,62,88,0.188,0.7240000000000001,0.08800000000000001,-0.826,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,1,0,8,8,3,0,3,0,9,6,2,2,1,15,15,11,0,1,3,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,3,4,4,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,4,2,10,4,10,11,2,4,0,0,0,3,6,0,3,1,6,49,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13944305175653476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23322449043549304,0.0,0.2419857370406611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340892852339635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313243776267623,0.16341807878719908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21147443771043595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24708779171726386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22351006830826786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17397365349488306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22881054916245855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23863472655691015,0.0,0.4696143969134075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938179858874848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19124411118547088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18385949723611567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465728962309268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629129189009929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349218783964843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,SevereParsnip0,2020/04/14,"Girlfriend is relapsing after social distancing order I've been with my girlfriend for the last 2 or so years and she had a bit of cocaine problem when we first started dating that progressively got worse. Over the course of our relationship, I helped her get sober and she's been (mostly) sober for the vast majority of our relationship, but now with the social distancing orders I'm afraid that's ruined all her progress and I just don't know what to do. 

Because of COVID 19, I've essentially moved back into my parent's house to take care of them. They're elderly and at-risk so I moved in to take care of them for the time being. My girlfriend's sister moved in with her (she's 14 and was in boarding school), so we've been apart for most of the social distancing order. She's out of a job now so I was worried she'd get bored and eventually relapse,  but because her little sister's with her I figured everything would be okay...I was wrong. 

Sadly there's reason to believe that she's relapsing and she's now started to lie about her drug use. She'll go missing for days, won't answer her phone, and when I call her sister she'll tell me that my girlfriend was sleeping all day and hasn't been out of her room. When I ask my girlfriend what's going on she'll make up a bunch of lame excuses and wouldn't be honest. She eventually broke down and told me she did cocaine for a few nights and that she ran out so she won't be doing it again, but then she disappeared for another 2 days and another. It's just not looking good. 

If she is relapsing then I understand and I want to be there for her, but I can't take much more of the lying. I've made that much clear to her. We struggled together to get her sober the first time and I understand the relapse at this particular stage in her life.  There's a lot going on and she needed an escape. I'll struggle to sober her up again if necessary, but I just need her to stop lying to me. 

I'm on the brink and I'm afraid. I'm thinking about leaving her. I just don't trust her anymore and every time she lies I feel like she's spitting in my face. If I do leave her I'm worried about might happen. We almost broke up years ago (early into our relationship) and she threatened suicide, while there's no reason to believe that'll happen, it's still a fear in the back of my mind. If I do leave her I also worry that she'll just go on a coke binge now knowing that there's no one she'll need to sober up and respond to. I love her and want to help, but I can't take much more of the deception and lying and now I feel trapped. What the hell do I do?",2.699496195675537,4.117054889094272,3.9958569402054778,88.82310922924817,74.97042513863215,6.9549241284443095,23.856811245325193,7.5712925761633665,0.9372784335640284,2049,61,444,26,43,673,209,541,0.21,0.733,0.057999999999999996,-0.9981,2,1,3,0,0,1,47.0,6,0,2,4,32,22,1,5,21,0,40,7,3,5,3,84,84,46,1,12,17,4,2,1,5,11,2,0,1,0,16,35,1,1,11,0,0,9,11,15,0,3,14,3,81,7,66,53,14,75,1,6,1,1,75,27,1,10,36,301,97,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06908308506740468,0.0,0.07803884857160467,0.0,0.0,0.0623231568341543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634395236246002,0.0,0.0,0.07728879926390718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07285702757871519,0.0,0.0,0.11985165006173,0.0,0.09501471828787963,0.0,0.0,0.17560807169964746,0.0,0.0,0.08508287663672838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07957851697544635,0.0,0.1589161953745334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15078141221900598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09037777702569877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06566208744722657,0.0,0.07004134056199332,0.0,0.0,0.08769652368549212,0.07881074136164654,0.0556754980743764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13257989074710474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12215065098041587,0.0,0.17716494819830408,0.0653666758367762,0.062330304324520226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13783215371201502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10447397069619377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08992445643143031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733668185321134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566010398590465,0.06352596465183241,0.0,0.24756003806769103,0.0,0.0,0.05504652829116194,0.03807422798644319,0.07810954639089011,0.0,0.0,0.06544426522059488,0.0,0.0,0.0662560249854463,0.07033776130256009,0.0737422840436669,0.0520210202935088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267481608580582,0.07869032199276328,0.0,0.0,0.2484919940235557,0.1718696209792353,0.17335945470684466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07313503466973376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05280955744199939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653560270154648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.074571553215037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602566314422577,0.0,0.2510132932815162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07887256532022302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07798948862010402,0.2383292680538049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032304892347652,0.0,0.06223755913426291,0.06515564999333821,0.0,0.16294541644725855,0.0,0.08524627850133927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23438428859269406,0.0,0.0681170572557197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04993645172201088,0.0,0.0,0.1363304377559953,0.0,0.0,0.07446851826932623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16226243221315784,0.0,0.06730926790196387,0.0,0.0,0.09193404838196066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374348615633085,0.079420595128323,0.055361513664901864,0.08520772680978536,0.0,0.10037285929246503
addiction,Santosxander,2020/04/14,"vape addiction so i’ve been vaping for about 4 years with very strong salt nicotine pod systems (juul, puffs, novos, etc..) and i have recently been experiencing breathing difficulties and i think i’m ready to start weaning off it and hopefully stopping completely bc it’s really affected my mood and idk i just wish i could kick the addiction.... any tips to help? i have a very addictive personality and i know this is gonna be extremely difficult",3.3480487804878014,6.40497112195122,5.020195121951222,73.67541463414635,81.6829268292683,10.109268292682929,28.931707317073172,9.888512548439397,4.0161619512195115,360,17,62,14,10,121,65,82,0.11800000000000001,0.7140000000000001,0.16899999999999998,0.7436,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,2,0,7,4,1,1,0,14,14,6,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,7,2,6,9,1,6,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,4,33,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6662565492993171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13853698897593922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135971655968371,0.0,0.0,0.1626543164495911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272023120707232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365496191032593,0.0,0.0,0.20234051542264028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195951004518494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778809637571502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305086283070172,0.0,0.20114950834750908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441944841229223,0.0,0.0,0.17031953757912927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13053592998465996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3361816488010961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342686277939592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13118938251660114
addiction,mikkruv,2020/04/14,"There is hope for a life away from dope There is a darkness at night

Most people don’t recognize at first sight

Addiction everything you love will steal 

Until your broken heart you never believe will heal

However there is a better way to live

If all your strength you are will to give

You are never alone

Even when others cast their stone

We may have fallen time and time again 

A new way of life it’s never too late to begin

It is like looking evil in the eye

I’ve lost so much to addiction that’s no lie

The high was never worth the cost

Just look at everything I lost

I pray God would take it away 

Here with my arms outstretched I lay

I know there is hope

For a life away from dope

Even if it’s just for today

I will do my best not to stray

Temptations will come and go

And somedays I really feel low

But I know the battle is worth the fight

At the end of the tunnel there is a light",0.9767647058823564,3.1706906737967984,2.065056149732623,96.9105254010695,83.43850267379679,5.451229946524067,16.30187165775401,6.742157984588678,-0.3800757219251336,704,13,160,8,20,222,111,187,0.158,0.7020000000000001,0.139,-0.243,1,1,0,0,1,0,0.0,1,6,1,6,14,14,3,0,13,0,20,10,3,0,5,25,35,9,0,5,6,0,1,1,0,7,6,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,3,0,3,3,7,7,0,1,3,6,17,7,22,25,4,31,1,3,4,1,11,10,0,6,17,109,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26613311351797925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12642033182264795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34404628251023045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13752306683689106,0.12809746226497715,0.10795469835076264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514636325098946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10811148182371803,0.0,0.0,0.16124276256128114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21940449242964485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061718659893265075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10382662368519363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11709383733918766,0.06937114785333247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14464510094596852,0.0,0.12896613482599306,0.0,0.2424719640665084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13416513366033675,0.0,0.1376922457399735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25864986669651385,0.059633757713577415,0.0,0.10778375966060504,0.0,0.2050041543743268,0.0,0.26649210605299656,0.0,0.11016651518517502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973026180552253,0.0,0.3765696731108241,0.11788909048139305,0.0,0.11454774445910995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08462303209723898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07819660676244275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09177609512386364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423516942925579,0.0,0.11570133815090985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19377566575345656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08670996805831949,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,raspberryfunshine,2020/04/14,"Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome Who here has heard of POST ACUTE WITHDRAWAL SYNDROME (PAWS)? 

It’s the period of time AFTER acute withdrawal (2 weeks after stopping the use of drugs/alcohol). 
 PAWS can last up to two years after last use of drugs/alcohol. 
A few of the Symptoms include: 

Feeling like you can’t feel emotion OR feeling like your emotions are “raw”. 

Having a hard time feeling things like shame or love. 

Sleep problems- too little or too much/ sleeping at the wrong times

Problems with coordination- running into things by accident, being clumsy

Memory impairment- short term or long term memory lapses. Trouble retaining new info 

And more....

The reason I tell you this is because I had all these symptoms after drinking a 26er of whisky a day for 8 years straight. When I quit I didn’t know if I would ever feel love again because I was dead inside. I wondered if I permanently ducked my brain up because I was having trouble with memory and walking straight. 
I’m happy to say I’m free of these symptoms now and I’m living my best life!",4.352703321878582,6.913133113402061,4.914364261168384,79.02545246277208,73.5360824742268,7.403894616265751,29.33447880870561,8.344100000000001,2.487044444444445,840,36,139,15,18,268,120,194,0.129,0.685,0.18600000000000005,0.8528,0,0,6,0,0,0,26.0,0,3,0,2,7,14,0,1,9,0,13,10,3,3,2,30,28,10,1,5,6,0,6,3,0,1,4,2,0,0,7,6,1,2,9,1,1,2,2,6,0,1,5,8,14,9,21,21,7,35,0,0,0,2,9,8,0,7,26,86,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388550712299086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043666076031872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172754876405243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12475076326793776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07206997039822906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947316303068494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514090406843166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10108492535829187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825226123734568,0.1596694753978907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189607209294047,0.10010669629817674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06141527394908426,0.1821835062266147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07893283938819455,0.1637872731911747,0.1120035808134108,0.0986779343667178,0.09889587185127588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017187782108156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214963843379497,0.0,0.0,0.1079295430935579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21405260070245907,0.0,0.0,0.2138606962356162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11886064787997465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148983536583521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886865900496045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236628528744644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09342860695873008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3484553643732745,0.0,0.0,0.09767505611839712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14848442741983006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954882329762469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916421679553813,0.0,0.0,0.1930334863096424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963968800965008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118889039461753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793845061996515,0.12218187093171864,0.0,0.1439276013840465
addiction,KvHuntit,2020/04/14,"Mom is drinking 4lokos again🥺 I used to get fucked up and do all kinds drugs ....I'm clean now and I've been chilling doing me and it hurts and worries me that mom is back at it again 😓
I didn't know who else to talk to so I'm posting here*
I've talked to my baby mom's about my problems enough already I don't wanna keep running to her 
I'm loving my mom through everything ,I'm not treating her any different...instead I'm showing her more love because when I was fucked up everyone pushed me away and I want to do the opposite and show love instead...

Edit:she was clean for a while from everything too even cigarettes...but she picked it all up again 😒
I'm still showing her lots of love ❤️🤘🏼",-0.17350257542310746,1.9720930662251668,1.8260375275938223,96.91233075791023,88.53642384105959,4.94495952906549,21.63392200147167,6.42735559955562,0.2641122884473881,547,20,127,6,18,181,93,151,0.12,0.725,0.156,0.7635,1,0,3,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,13,10,2,0,2,0,10,8,0,2,2,17,27,9,0,3,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,5,6,1,1,1,4,0,2,3,4,0,0,4,0,16,6,17,23,5,15,0,1,0,6,16,5,2,1,7,74,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400654073721795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631366899430266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11925065296066255,0.09759784832201157,0.0,0.07737258568441009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433863515288353,0.1471932438025111,0.0,0.10602993969865224,0.0,0.0,0.13114793516894124,0.0,0.08383307289496184,0.0,0.0,0.121282721549036,0.22814484836609056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346810951954995,0.06631331706422801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358763359442175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11281718560224994,0.0,0.13217334049316834,0.06975491644677476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079074918637905,0.458220752430617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5946142846324295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215595105021713,0.0,0.0,0.12145052881740764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013628406983042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20403576262274764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10962284984775772,0.0,0.0,0.07486392807266085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12889897131594605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,millap123,2020/04/15,Addicted to sugar Any advice to overcome this?,4.942499999999999,8.430078250000005,6.705000000000003,61.24000000000001,79.0,8.200000000000001,33.0,8.841846274778883,4.488850000000001,38,2,4,1,1,13,7,8,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6753324635752451,0.0,0.6053557004992037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42127252404412574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,bafooneryenthusiast,2020/04/15,"!!ASAP!! boyfriend has enabler friend so my bf is currently recovering from an opioid addiction, he overdosed about 2 mo. ago. very scary, he was narcaned twice and I thought we would lose him that night. he struggles to find friends he enjoys being around, and his actual nonuser friends are either off at another college or in a different continent. so he’s come to hang out with a work colleague, let’s call her W. he befriended W because he tolerated her and they were similar enough, whatever. (He said she’s kinda boring but it’s better than being alone) however W is a huge enabler. She purchased him liquor the day he got out of rehab (never a concern, but def shouldn’t be drinking right out of rehab) as well as weed, and bought him coke last night. I told him I obviously don’t get to decide if he hangs out with her or not, but I would be talking about the gravity of the situation with her, because I can’t afford to lose him due to someone else’s negligence. is this a bad idea? if not, what should I say/not say? she apparently has family that has struggled w addiction, which has made this all the more frustrating for me because she should understand right? What’s even worse is my inability to be mad at her because I know she has no malicious intent, and is just a massive pushover. I wouldn’t be surprised if she had a crush on him, he’s quite conventionally attractive and she’s not the most fortunate looking, and pretty depressed (so doesn’t interact w anyone but him and their other colleagues.) I just want her to understand how grave things are, because I never want to see him the way he looked that day ever again, literal torture.",4.6718867924528285,6.280671927672955,5.496367924528303,79.25606132075475,70.28930817610063,8.947798742138367,31.174528301886788,9.408791572840183,2.9207773584905663,1315,57,244,29,24,429,181,318,0.172,0.736,0.092,-0.9854,5,1,2,0,0,0,42.0,1,0,2,7,13,19,3,2,14,0,31,7,0,3,5,58,47,23,1,11,15,0,0,0,4,6,4,2,0,0,11,18,3,0,7,2,2,3,11,11,1,1,9,5,38,8,31,25,5,29,1,4,3,0,47,13,0,7,12,164,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.10555778627081508,0.23584134879389146,0.0,0.0,0.09588569694136803,0.0,0.0,0.1120309351132676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134251069941304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563459930681342,0.0,0.0,0.096293749868572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903169782430262,0.329695484568758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09566709430151964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104531095318934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09317840911296646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395207020871228,0.0,0.09316619469761214,0.0,0.0,0.11301405973110135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059648871877054,0.0,0.0,0.09036170121114873,0.0,0.0,0.11176796446245277,0.0,0.07144490609045666,0.097845466554818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197253709943116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988649239218408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507143621493834,0.0,0.056514076683513464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651299612477939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211015037172412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05944710461862334,0.08817254453199966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11061059835181454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18167020118947386,0.2420279071181829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10235255551595997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16685390714322315,0.0,0.0,0.20301941534013151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004722525582522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11505153222008155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18475225027373407,0.1028939240372524,0.17204138741005875,0.0,0.0,0.08619705237650617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12158700164151015,0.0,0.0,0.09165162978057154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261644048496429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08694251204379372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07186298068442172,0.0,0.0,0.08587446610711445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10336055153701312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252164387994469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925113033754092,0.12760229646873406,0.08585987998754256,0.0,0.0,0.09725733235330213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787486528914624,0.0,0.11023391772308934,0.15368095725049846,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,sema2345,2020/04/15,"My addiction I feel so stupid posting this next to everyone else's but I need to address my addiction before it lands me in jail.

I am addicted to lying.

It started off as nothing when I was about 4 or so I'd just embellish things like when the teacher asked what I did over the weekend I'd say that something amazing happened instead of me just playing basketball with my brother.
It got worse at the age of 8, I started making up friends and telling my real friends about them but never mentioning they weren't real. I got really good at lying. Like too good.
I started lying to friends, teachers, family, strangers etc. And I felt like shit but couldn't stop.
I felt awful, I feel awful some of my friendships are built on lies and I cant come to terms with telling them that I've been lying this entire time. I've stopped talking about the made up friends, I've stopped logging into the made up profiles of people who dont exist and I've managed to catch myself in a lie a few times.

I'm trying so hard to stop and I know this is all self inflicted, I'm worried when I start trying to date people I'll lie to them, when I start college I'll lie to all the new people, I'm scared that this will go too far than just a white lie or an embellishment.

It's already gone too far.

So from this day 15/4/2020 I will battle my addiction,  my life may be boring but it wont be a lie.",2.4881315789473675,4.154224659649124,3.739495614035089,89.40292763157898,76.08771929824562,6.434210526315789,26.96271929824561,7.1686216300943375,1.266114035087719,1088,43,228,12,24,355,150,285,0.165,0.66,0.175,0.4589,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,4,0,18,16,3,1,11,2,16,6,1,3,3,39,40,20,0,2,9,1,5,3,4,4,5,1,1,1,16,9,0,4,5,2,0,4,6,5,0,0,11,7,30,11,33,22,6,42,0,0,1,0,17,14,1,4,26,138,46,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4175125339937761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10565896329679487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08951032347593281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08147346592581498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247738130149089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06174875840357107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221452440963306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799841568104879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067829800040844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09149016066925236,0.0,0.0,0.09026155205583818,0.0,0.09682490745367656,0.0,0.1838638663718536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2958949287588018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054415107055712286,0.16061572900087998,0.15315490867132425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08466856989751298,0.0,0.08577031695919321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05261993160835714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06762878911365934,0.14033113522841212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18119585489461013,0.06391172559145669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07099503133794391,0.07384582679669367,0.0924728461003459,0.10182779703884663,0.0,0.0,0.09187162699460492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19913630493843834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09169895764767096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21796161657120056,0.061337845199967385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07614169014118934,0.09585923962326474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988478322586047,0.0,0.09828270367903127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07371055645371576,0.0,0.0,0.3388503526760846,0.0,0.0,0.3201944136898707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07695764271368709,0.16737382876622786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06360991259450392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11166144606499337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13001157040465716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09723551257075984,0.09757415855192167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,dylanhello89,2020/04/15,"Help with adderall I have been addicted to adderall since I was in Iraq in 2008. Chain smoking cigarettes running missions amped up on amphetamines while looking for a fight.  and that followed me when I deployed with my next unit. I would be awake for days at a time and i would start to crash on missions. Hunger pains, head aches sleep deprived. Well that followed me back to civilian life in 2011. 

Since then I have struggled with it. I kicked that bucket after my son was 1 years old I came stumbling in from work after 2 days of no sleep amd I collapsed on my couch. It felt like my body was giving up, my chest was caving in and I looked at my son dancing around happily and I broke down. I was with my ex at that time and I just said I was sorry, I dont want to leave him in this world without me, I dont want him to see me like this. 

I have recently gone through a divorce 2 years ago and over the past few months ive started to relapse. I was buying weed before and ive found someone who had adderall. I have been awake for two days.

 I am 31 in a few weeks. I want to quit again but for good, I want to not have to smoke weed to deal with my anger, my depression and lonliness. 
The thoughts that go through my head on adderall after ive been awake will make me emotional and I'll just start thinking about all these bad things in my life ive done and these people that ive hurt or ive lossed and I start to cry by myself. I want to not want drugs. I just want to be happy. Can someone please help me help myself.",2.2812336719883892,3.746346025157237,3.0208805031446566,95.18869375907114,76.16981132075472,5.898597000483793,23.551523947750358,6.297961479604792,0.32809782293178497,1188,36,272,8,26,373,158,318,0.156,0.742,0.10099999999999999,-0.8988,2,0,3,0,2,0,25.0,0,0,0,3,9,15,2,1,6,0,32,12,6,1,1,41,58,16,0,9,8,3,1,2,0,3,5,1,1,0,14,18,1,0,4,1,1,7,6,10,1,1,18,5,52,5,52,35,3,54,0,5,3,0,14,21,0,1,28,179,66,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689870718544373,0.0,0.0,0.0869233244554187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10624680913355722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872932369462047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07540126396112927,0.08187511019972099,0.0,0.0,0.0834409266143541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10892136485985864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215329213938983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10771312955189166,0.18971969192416488,0.10109445055078843,0.08445801228236563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034833020115504,0.2298486701143781,0.0,0.1137172265584148,0.0,0.0,0.11030309730488994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09415195000378757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075165548451113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09406706039304026,0.05572914939794237,0.08224717768160512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10438555384022467,0.0,0.0,0.20127350331665447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19718050033037526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049741121217974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10383024773796062,0.0,0.0,0.1385238436913602,0.09581327960168692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646896079978425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654550968744752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07826970198196198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042867839666507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10289635121207663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10434161464567898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093608343797116,0.06798171493752148,0.0,0.0,0.10763925803587823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042977418245642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968213629537302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327649721365933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07814027107093233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162230719573879,0.0,0.1962594929518009,0.0,0.16617002548682466,0.0,0.0,0.1097689433609743,0.27762645999754404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251248397888374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06514599555119377,0.06283220257099865,0.0,0.07784783672614841,0.11435790070899172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957893255917546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4048638806261898,0.0,0.07865695841323189,0.0,0.08816675401529342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452530878706092,0.0,0.07138806854475238,0.0,0.0,0.1393165001227744,0.0,0.0,0.12629347120621864
addiction,mhtss7,2020/04/15,"I opted for this (temporary) Rehab. Just hoping it won't backfire. I got a chance to reach my home on the 21st day of lockdown (in my country). From here, it’s 20 days more (at least) living in the lockdown with zero accessibility to weed (I don’t do any other form of substance abuse. Not even cigarettes). And that will be the longest period of time, I will be sober in the last 4 years or so. During these four years, it has been in-between ‘at least one joint for the day’ and at most, well can’t count that, can we? Even after this lockdown started, weed and work-from-home were going hand-in-hand. 

Currently, I am going through a spree of self-improvement initiatives and I always knew, if I have to improve my social and time management skills, I have to stop being dependent on an unmonitored substance. I guess this was the sign of the universe, which said, “we are going to give you a choice. And from here on, you won’t be allowed to blame anyone else or any external factor.” I added the last part myself and the universe is fine with it. It sounds complete and threatening, now. Anyhow, if I am able to come out alive from this, than… haven’t decided on a reward yet.
I know it from the experience, that the first 3-4 days are the toughest one. Maybe, that’s why I am a little confused, edgy, and anxious as of now. I hope this fades away soon, without belittling my emotional maturity, I am so proud of.",4.088920863309351,5.251610014388493,4.9842374100719455,84.08549280575542,71.15827338129499,8.006043165467629,26.849640287769784,8.395991825355821,1.7006267625899278,1096,36,222,17,20,357,158,278,0.076,0.8340000000000001,0.08900000000000001,0.6698,2,3,1,0,1,0,53.0,2,2,0,4,12,7,0,1,18,0,26,1,0,2,0,35,39,16,0,4,7,0,0,0,0,4,1,2,1,0,18,15,0,1,3,0,0,4,7,1,1,5,6,2,24,6,38,25,6,38,0,0,0,0,7,13,0,11,21,161,42,1,0.13833430962533932,0.1639035363123186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510522733877597,0.0,0.0,0.18814414846167246,0.0,0.0,0.1562783945808721,0.0,0.0967265657229432,0.14173984780355128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12996963758001787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11916275878535308,0.14504089172178905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3568567423857709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11556056502106395,0.15560747903946265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18273701369118056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353174990864511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176670930991988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327028749514994,0.23585572822648998,0.0,0.11063858448706526,0.0,0.15239083800028005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13876059164439594,0.2747943654246761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760249188153491,0.22552185115801396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13864731997169435,0.12215172980121385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13897540741361653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874778166444048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14980257674417927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13158760669185246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14431285453112874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14101440781263874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09791373635559933,0.0,0.0,0.1156536770471334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16132769679516967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12437915763589374,0.0,0.12482519791142092,0.0,0.0,0.13334933800747628,0.0,0.10070902496092296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781655198604421
addiction,MrMillian515,2020/04/15,Leaving this sub. Hey everyone just thought I’d take a minute to say that I’ll be leaving this sub reddit as it was recently brought to my attention by a member of this sub that I don’t belong here. I was truly hoping I’d find the encouragement and support to help overcome my addictions and struggles but I don’t think this is the right place for me to find that help. I am currently using drugs after recently struggling with a relapse after 3 years of sobriety and then after getting clean again through the use of methadone suffering through another relapse as my mental health has continued to decline. I have come to see through the actions of said member who said that this isn’t the sub for me that I will not be viewed by the depth of struggles but by instead by the surface appearance of my profile. So it’s with a heavy heart that I am leaving this subreddit. I hope in the future that others will not be so quickly judged as I was and that they may find the support and acceptance here that I could not. Thank you.,9.005291529152911,6.8660856237623795,8.468283828382841,74.32517601760179,61.574257425742566,11.750055005500547,41.25632563256325,10.25414643259724,4.1171665566556666,824,38,157,14,9,262,106,202,0.07400000000000001,0.7909999999999999,0.134,0.8869,1,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,1,0,8,11,0,3,13,0,18,4,1,2,0,28,35,13,0,3,6,0,0,0,0,3,3,3,1,0,19,8,0,0,7,0,0,4,6,4,0,0,7,5,18,7,30,21,0,21,0,1,2,0,10,5,0,4,12,117,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13569027762023222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305172679502309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072195716773943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937887760376306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14434526336362727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189360729555062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.341288981999034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06503024846027894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323054045281467,0.0,0.14749712010143404,0.16685874903183226,0.0,0.0,0.2472528704481172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3953861233279671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543611934007778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13004427949828484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24579750241450754,0.0,0.0,0.10629639059821606,0.2367982576329548,0.09898325183105228,0.0,0.0,0.09918618619532556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3903680720807196,0.0,0.0,0.28249333990709585,0.0,0.0,0.09358567719470652,0.0,0.0,0.1145949194711571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797551180442191,0.0,0.09881498902677062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21500360645868188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08015436585152692
addiction,TaylorVmin11,2020/04/15,"Drinking getting out of hand Lately days have been revolving around getting drunk. I try to wait until late afternoon to start but I’ve been spending all of my money on booze and last night I went to the dispensary and also bought a bunch of edibles. I bought the edibles hoping they will help me sleep at night better but I know if I wasn’t drunk I would never have spend that much money on weed, just frustrated with myself. I stopped smoking cigarettes about a week ago which has been difficult and think that also could be a part in me drinking more, just need to replace the smoking with something else maybe? Want to start using this free time I have to be productive and stay sober again but the thought of giving up alcohol right now seems like too much, hate to admit this :( usually I can give up alcohol for a bit and it’s fine this is the first time I’ve felt like I need it everyday, I think it’s a bit of boredom and depression but I just know I need to stop any advice for getting back on the wagon appreciated. Right now it just seems impossible and that’s what scares me",3.8868782489740106,5.5705776604651165,4.490259917920658,85.39544459644323,72.3953488372093,8.035567715458276,26.13543091655267,8.671277953709913,1.7978207934336532,867,29,173,16,17,276,124,215,0.157,0.687,0.156,-0.2732,0,0,6,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,2,13,11,2,1,11,0,15,9,2,1,2,42,42,15,0,8,9,0,2,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,12,11,7,3,9,4,7,1,2,5,0,1,9,2,19,7,28,28,8,37,0,1,0,0,5,11,0,4,26,116,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115377123843928,0.10083123060264003,0.24312522379510115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819293562960504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07735291784322143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10126032983342667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746561733375127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10060135300992272,0.2483679223683583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09081896517438916,0.0,0.0,0.07335840763920824,0.0,0.09797146354027804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.222860558282006,0.0,0.0,0.09502232160902514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921645072824096,0.0,0.0,0.09675446257322416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782867751961503,0.2182359572192324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11230314839277196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624325854124105,0.0,0.0,0.11297798069337935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125026461832466,0.09272025394949128,0.2566266486227136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11114359639187343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11427571210468612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16723655165502832,0.2530293361629466,0.08772989780945832,0.0,0.0,0.2134906262139527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231786000929594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19428128851270315,0.0,0.0,0.1138821469139259,0.0,0.0,0.20710482431920813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11383070260922705,0.0,0.0,0.08756919470840463,0.0,0.0,0.1610236250441863,0.12124082465092945,0.0,0.1901977702105537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14577096185403002,0.0,0.09030364664523148,0.1326553940483041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772278020330761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824222972809928,0.12527796279705172,0.0,0.06709184472285169,0.0,0.09124222942410064,0.0,0.0,0.10544604986362464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08080370969840701,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,cosilence,2020/04/15,"Manifesto It's been clear through the recurrent relapses that it takes a miracle to heal from bad habits. That under the mystic spells of habits it becomes hard to stay conscious, to the point vision is blurred on the subject own behavior and motivations. And the single most important thing is forgotten. 

It now stands clear to me, there is no other more important thing than relating to other in a way that motivates them to bring their best to the surface and to enjoy life together for long.  Keeping calm is key, subordinating all mystic whims to the major goal of living fully through taking back what habits took us away, freedom. 

No choice, no freedom. If you can't choose you're not free. No freedom, no responsibility. If you are not free you won't feel responsible for what happened. But the real beauty of life is in being able to dome our mystic habits and once they are our servants, enjoying them fully. The natural way.",6.3528947368421065,7.911715824561401,6.459897660818715,74.12914473684212,66.19298245614036,9.676608187134505,31.793859649122812,9.928628108626363,3.278126315789473,750,30,127,17,12,239,107,171,0.11900000000000001,0.657,0.22399999999999998,0.9783,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,3,3,4,4,3,7,0,0,11,0,11,3,0,2,3,21,18,7,0,2,5,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,13,4,0,1,5,0,2,2,9,1,0,0,2,2,11,8,24,14,7,16,0,0,0,0,10,7,0,4,3,93,24,3,0.19854209168319453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865368307423624,0.15266661323244365,0.16577435344675753,0.0,0.21927414160415698,0.0,0.0,0.20835767614786824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003888470773964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17557011598012184,0.0,0.17785471650702456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17647333354609465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2804723018861133,0.0,0.0,0.17531630441600154,0.17570350338435906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21144084792970208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18768645111596674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259843667310164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21161945286840772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985578881551676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638050871821921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22058756917098388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388216904519068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3151869420088817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,BBDavid2,2020/04/15,"Do people of all kinds of addiction get the ""addiction twitch""? That when you remorse from what was basically uncontrollable get it?

I'm preferably not talking about addiction that physically does that, but psychologically being triggered to do so.",9.257666666666667,11.967390100000005,9.080000000000002,53.7116666666667,60.5,12.333333333333336,40.833333333333336,11.855464076750405,6.100083333333334,204,11,27,7,3,66,33,40,0.09,0.91,0.0,-0.3939,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,1,1,0,4,4,0,1,1,5,7,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,5,5,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,21,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8511318136640647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277462801140374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719394702197344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27101003073087043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18042438446079734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091788634995024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,thisisapersonalacc,2020/04/15,"Cravings I've been away from meth for about 7 months now. Even when I did it I only used for 6 months. I only did it on the weekends. I've heavily craved that feeling I got from it lately..I don't know who to turn to.
I've already started talks with people who also use for one last ""hoorah"". I can't tell you how many times I've had a last ""hoorah"". I want to do it, but a part of me doesn't. What do I do? It's not as simple as saying ""okay done. I'm lost and confused. I just can't seem to convince myself it's all that terribly bad you know? Like in my mind, I feel like it's okay to do it every once in awhile. And I can't find a reason as to why it's so bad, other than the risk of addiction but I feel like I can fight that negative outcome like I always do..help, someone? Ill be posting to other subreddits too, so please dont think this is a cry for reddit points or attention.",0.3000902425267924,1.7917220913705592,2.634678510998309,95.66649041173152,81.89340101522842,5.596051889452905,19.066271855611962,6.42735559955562,-0.17437822899041233,680,16,167,6,18,233,115,197,0.20199999999999999,0.6809999999999999,0.11599999999999999,-0.9713,0,0,1,0,1,0,28.0,0,2,0,1,10,14,1,2,6,2,18,2,0,4,1,25,33,13,0,1,5,0,3,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,18,3,0,0,10,1,0,0,8,7,0,1,7,4,18,7,25,25,2,15,0,1,0,0,8,5,0,3,13,104,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15157781374884194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15343783341111433,0.11119294513417996,0.11569523525358455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13063583768777945,0.0,0.23219083806111995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15273262997650866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14228965817941325,0.1629578122426552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09183684476081354,0.0,0.1171500491598014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21091354045645536,0.1986652447396452,0.0,0.0,0.12708313534633553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11120569722416504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319785037915138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15282921672339084,0.2266778340809605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27171829917336593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15178228023890314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14096816915545027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14039418252217312,0.0,0.22196620747934925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14807666765209032,0.0942193964730388,0.2114975203864564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15057043679694346,0.0,0.09639517629760122,0.0,0.0,0.1526278833131444,0.13144094207349816,0.0,0.13316512814907558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429597579176387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057288092735708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12657987603757398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781100930522766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09841562389584334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175780637981114,0.12153004749570487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909338709040264,0.0,0.0,0.08107731623126907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15123927609010146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401776839629965,0.0,0.0,0.08201139124660252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254650285814784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,yourehallucynating,2020/04/15,"Addicted to sleeping aids (diphenhydramine = benadryl) Started taking them 2 years ago and haven't gone a day without every since. Last time I tried, I was awake for 40 hours and sweating really bad with severe nausea that led me to relapse.

It's my third night without them now and weed helped me sleep and prevent other withdrawal symptoms. 

Any tips?",5.870625000000004,7.9795285625,5.25825,80.16175000000003,68.0625,7.620000000000001,31.55,8.238735603445708,2.5560975000000004,284,12,46,4,5,86,56,64,0.10800000000000001,0.857,0.036000000000000004,-0.7548,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,5,3,1,0,9,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,2,0,7,0,6,3,0,11,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,9,25,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23972491403742016,0.0,0.0,0.19492926557824147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14954044868235908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836084296172393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141818169228272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18527635918305685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14739522967149998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21655851943320667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17924893803814348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.206362506571625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408744262324059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484259163631989,0.0,0.18190465688518948,0.0,0.44012029065310015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556472968891225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22856168600286875,0.16533843702070522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282262369618997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14929857190630375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4239540798941369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14160925012814735
addiction,austinnew99,2020/04/15,Quitting weed I’ve been smoking weed and getting high now for about two years. I smoke just about every day and I’m usually high throughout the whole day. I’ve tried many times to quit but I just can’t seem too.,1.0606818181818198,3.420978250000001,1.5192727272727282,99.84390909090912,84.68181818181819,4.42909090909091,20.163636363636364,5.6839178017228535,-0.31409454545454496,169,5,38,1,5,51,33,44,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,5,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,4,4,1,8,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,6,18,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3029838932180846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19791453003528087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12272626727827125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.496372375220166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23815311345091905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4996930295115472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138453791319181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13697287413464945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594826065455028,0.0,0.22946449972198066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587106653770516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26225898363423106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15126877660667998
addiction,myanusiswet,2020/04/15,Cocaine is the fuel for my Brain I would NEVER give this shit up. Y’all are stupid motherfuckin bitches,1.7681578947368417,3.9654256842105298,1.7888157894736842,90.69796052631581,107.94736842105264,4.0052631578947375,20.539473684210527,5.985473137389443,0.5760421052631579,84,3,14,1,4,25,19,19,0.435,0.565,0.0,-0.9109,0,0,1,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,3,2,2,0,1,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,1,11,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5371210778886382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.461561678585784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3710915415686081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4938922292547938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3417942337237209,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,FreeThinkk,2020/04/15,"Looking out for one another. I was at the gas station to buy beer and cigarettes. But Dude was outside. Face tattoos they really Telegraphed, meth head. he asked me for change and I offered it to him. He told me some story about his daughter which I didn’t believe.  I still took him to get my money. 

He told me all of the AA groups that he goes to. I told him, I’d love to see them there. He gave me his number and maybe I just might. He might not want to go but I also may have planted that seed.  

It starts with going to meetings. Even when you’re all fucked up. 


https://www.aa-meetings.com

There’s a 24 hour one if anyone’s interested I’ll post it or send it to you I’m typing from my phone but it’s awesome on the PC or the iPad or the tablet of your toys. It’s good on any device, try it.",-0.3418181818181836,1.8841249047619044,1.3655627705627715,98.87337662337664,91.61904761904762,4.2450216450216445,16.564935064935064,5.852544927426893,-0.6671285714285711,616,15,144,5,22,199,109,168,0.043,0.857,0.1,0.8621,0,0,3,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,2,0,8,4,1,0,6,0,7,5,2,0,2,21,23,12,0,2,9,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,10,5,1,0,0,2,2,4,2,1,1,2,8,2,22,3,20,12,3,14,0,0,2,2,27,5,1,8,4,88,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13762426461848015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11703046337330635,0.1804565541206955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12033278631964088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608855416212497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19389206962867467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820536318797689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11366708751024306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159099002717039,0.08991250533400276,0.0,0.19561104532016269,0.14434507411955896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17661906203648106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16947885404930652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14451640982257322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15532240608309644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.172892502478469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36513107949762014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332319759450829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648193850088847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102484279316731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13713738923808422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12180968719993833,0.0,0.1374352446602657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4933322821555504,0.1912038150863786,0.11684117043329972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015060568548846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,_TaddyBear_,2020/04/15,"I’m addicted to television. Please help. I know it’s not as serious as other substances, like drugs and alcohol, but it has ruined my life. I wake up, watch, eat, watch, sleep, repeat. I would even watch while peeing/pooing and while bathing (I rarely take showers and usually baths now to watch) AND EVEN WHILE IM DOING HOMEWORK AND STUDYING. My day revolved around watching as much as possible. 

I craved TV starting around 8-9 years old. However my parents were able to put restrictions and I had an active imagination so I would play with my friends and toys. As I grew older, I found ways to go around these restrictions, especially with YouTube and how I would spiral down videos for hours. 

Soon I realized I would be angry while conversing with others because I wasn’t watching TV. I would take it out on my friends and family. Soon, my I became friendless and I alienated myself from my family. 

I used to be a grade A+ student until junior year of high school, the most important year for college. I would watch ALL THE TIME, and I soon began getting Bs and Cs. It cost me my track to a great college. 

I also realized in social gatherings, I felt as though I was putting on a mask to fit in. I acted in a way that did not reflect my personality mostly because I did not know how I would respond. I felt emotionless. I don’t feel human anymore. 

I have told my parents about it, but they say something along the lines of “just stop” or “do something else.” When I’m watching and they tell me to do something more productive or more fulfilling, I would make excuses and lie, saying I was doing a lot of work or something. That’s why I’m here haha. 

The problem is, I love TV and movies. It makes me feel great joy, laugh, and really think about certain topics. Some of my fondest memories, sadly, are watching Avatar the Last Airbender (a show I want to show my children if I can find someone to love and who loves me), laughing while watching Parks and Rec, the Office, and Community, and cheering while watching Marvel movies and contemplating societal infrastructure after watching Parasite. Furthermore, TV and movies are engrained in culture, like the phenomenon with Game of Thrones and Avengers Endgame. I know it is ruining my life, and I’m not doing anything meaningful with my life, but I truly love watching TV and movies. But do I really enjoy it if I experience such pain when I’m not watching?

I really need help, even if it’s from strangers. Is it possible to find a balance, or will I have to cut it out of my life completely, if that’s even possible in today’s society? What should I do to achieve this balance/no TV? How do I stop letting TV control me and truly become happy and fulfilled?",4.716777694797114,6.357133217475733,5.415533980582524,79.75567836694053,70.22330097087378,8.621857107294,31.457555389594226,9.127657967737557,2.8395576300721928,2137,94,390,43,39,692,252,515,0.064,0.723,0.213,0.9982,4,0,6,0,0,0,72.0,0,0,2,3,24,26,1,0,16,1,38,15,2,7,2,101,68,60,0,16,18,2,4,2,2,10,8,2,4,4,20,38,2,5,16,15,1,5,7,7,0,0,12,20,64,19,53,43,8,53,0,3,14,4,28,16,0,12,32,268,84,9,0.07388842580890019,0.0,0.0,0.08054929047297578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07896425628453628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059088547424224515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07327746399014255,0.0,0.0,0.060803878738832876,0.19732909267765966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09008339713106403,0.08160396118714018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07747060867450256,0.0,0.08287215240505343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047651922009785665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568711591567531,0.07560630586823018,0.061724298607620486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19521043355375267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722770585184148,0.13931086390226965,0.0,0.07472041637553764,0.0,0.14188895205806315,0.0,0.13506536517527362,0.0,0.0,0.0810148451266937,0.11417202898358254,0.0,0.038603652852838996,0.0,0.04199249514663895,0.0,0.0,0.16292450060674035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865560322326931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09905170863707027,0.07806717862318233,0.0,0.0,0.07276521573181187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07981217919113995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218214394258984,0.06022892879107709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07555592148360994,0.20875832115671905,0.07219630520335829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06281729734761554,0.26674875635712025,0.0,0.09864219596094057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054316494680778704,0.0547873315004556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753347351537936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07862249458203505,0.0,0.164088705510245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06451652340688932,0.0,0.08110730326033512,0.0,0.2498942944786568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707012446492448,0.0,0.14855655211618524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14200445278336715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11751808373498847,0.0,0.07477903163339471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07394178714635656,0.07531994512330002,0.06260542341087652,0.2275316801982683,0.0,0.0,0.0522986080891801,0.0,0.0,0.12354806496187272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111098013604854,0.0,0.0645817409211766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04734471977447253,0.0725950032052158,0.0,0.04308493528415005,0.0,0.0700375881199768,0.07060355727932892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06381587632183996,0.08137766215033357,0.0,0.043581307925190466,0.11729838636795545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666728116830813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053791653995783485,0.0,0.0,0.4199057418571209,0.0,0.0,0.14274517108119902
addiction,frrankiiee,2020/04/16,"How do I help my brother? I’m sure many posts like this get posted here, but I do not know where to go. Recently, I found heroin in my brothers room, he’s 23 and we live in New York. I’ve had a feeling something was going on as he was acting strange, eyes were not right, he won’t come out of his room for long, long periods of time. I want to help him in the best way possible, I want to tell my mom of course, but I want to have a plan, some information she should know, ways to approach the situation... anything. If possible, I have nyship united healthcare, how do I find information on what centers they might possibly cover? I’m 22, I don’t know if my age has anything to do with getting information without him knowing... I’m just devastated, I don’t know how to handle this situation, who to talk to, anything will help",3.5408928571428566,4.520250351190477,5.111666666666668,83.35000000000002,72.27380952380952,8.21904761904762,28.880952380952376,8.59863814320734,2.015680952380952,641,25,136,11,12,217,102,168,0.069,0.769,0.162,0.9064,0,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,1,0,1,2,6,3,0,0,4,0,17,1,1,3,1,34,35,9,0,6,8,3,1,1,0,4,0,0,2,0,4,5,0,0,11,0,0,5,6,0,0,0,5,2,20,3,22,26,2,27,0,0,1,0,21,11,0,4,8,82,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30740688487000684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13067556217573933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726254748228674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629608146459802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11380859254253375,0.0,0.0,0.1365292351144999,0.0,0.0,0.13011262783707273,0.0,0.14153463439828076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503884441645556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3421633800438123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06083395155599532,0.0,0.10995302434586328,0.22039172739384524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12624325707071274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13209554133193532,0.0,0.14583576600468615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12026173587401773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4211311745556502,0.238510574500544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12294801154909975,0.0,0.0,0.1063389963731847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799303328089662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09586121596976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11735818131803978,0.0,0.0,0.10008407972517072,0.10883555571256433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07260833801636868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203345310483806,0.19767561051234234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003238130398618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,melind64,2020/04/16,"We need to do something about a dangerous sub that HURTS MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE There is this subreddit [r/antipsychiatry](https://www.reddit.com/r/antipsychiatry/),   which I think the name is self-explanatory. They deny the existence of   mental illness as a whole and keeps brainwashing vulnerable people   saying that the medications and psychiatric labels ruin your life and   are not backed by science, and that doctors are out there to harm them.

A   person with a mental disorder may refuse treatment because of them,  which can impose a  great danger upon himself and others. That subreddit  is against science  and it's full of scientologists. They're no  different than anti-vaxx. I  hate to see more posts about people  quitting medications and opposing  psychiatrists.",11.441811846689895,12.583873390243905,10.162044134727065,53.50243902439028,54.9349593495935,12.882229965156796,40.33565621370499,12.28987398476788,5.693755865272938,629,28,81,18,7,197,88,123,0.318,0.653,0.028999999999999998,-0.9888,1,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,1,1,3,1,5,7,3,0,8,0,8,6,0,0,0,18,13,8,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,1,9,10,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,2,8,1,15,12,3,5,0,2,1,0,10,3,0,1,1,63,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308513905169263,0.0,0.10373497570654656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17779301339292478,0.19503129847701967,0.17417775577824615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18761469539000514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16800913975773665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821721257417924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512562609121699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019717319399405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3428597956239497,0.5144785852594408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12618002169606113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3539265044901281,0.14858720255736554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629772710489011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809983523957257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353272184395134,0.0,0.0,0.1356046648007399,0.0,0.1775260025529337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13100634561714322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10903903520629037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18999041865832747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,DistraughtCoconut,2020/04/16,"I never believed marijuana was addictive until now.. I never believed it was addictive because of everything you hear how it’s not. I started smoking at 12 and quickly became a heavy smoker. I’m now 20 and I haven’t smoked in almost 3 months and it sucks so bad. I crave it, I want it I need it. After not smoking for awhile and you get it it’s almost like immediate relief.",-0.22468623481781336,1.9613197500000008,2.8373684210526333,85.13273279352227,101.5,4.9700404858299585,21.63562753036437,6.67199483983844,1.0569506072874495,295,12,55,5,13,104,49,76,0.098,0.813,0.08900000000000001,-0.3915,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,0,5,4,1,0,1,0,3,2,0,1,2,13,10,7,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,8,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,1,9,2,6,8,0,11,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,2,10,40,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4657351645432524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4278012350009069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17835631002867913,0.1302153176616966,0.0,0.0,0.4813330240278058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919798442825983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116029607946673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407551859819587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10435957252342863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17050230770369948,0.0,0.0,0.1583898920860832,0.3295000316757278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511950055722044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12599333587152126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,askd0c1,2020/04/16,"I am terrified of the likely damage I have incurred to my heart after a year of recreational/heavy cocaine use and really need some hope. Has anyone had lasting damage from use and is it manageable/treatable? I am a 27/f Canada, 5’1” and 105 pounds for reference.

I was introduced to coke just over a year ago through my bf and have been using maybe up to 4 times a month, typically long into the night. I don’t know exactly how much I use but would say I do 2-3 lines an hour for up to 8 hours at most sometimes. I’d say half the times I’ve used I was drinking as well which I know is terrible. Last July (6 months into this type of use) I had an ECG done as part of another checkup and my doctor said there was something unusual about the result, something about q-waves. She said they sometimes see that in people who have had a heart attack but I haven’t had one so she said she wouldn’t worry too much. I didn’t think too much of it and my specialist who was supposed to review the result seemed to have forgot to bring it up during my appointment and she’s retired now. (I am also terrified of bringing this up to any doctors for fear of discrimination from future healthcare providers. I’m in a helping field and may want to do post-grad but don’t know if future employers have the right to have access to drug use history.)

I am in a state of panic right now because I’m reading more about coke and heart damage. While I knew it was a huge risk, because I wasn’t using daily I didn’t think it would catch up to me like this. A few days ago I was laughing really hard about something (like a can’t catch my breath type of laugh) and noticed a sort of pressure or pulling on the left side of my chest which eventually dissipated after I stopped laughing and calmed down. This is when I became especially concerned. I looked into anginas and it seems like this could potentially be one except the ache was only in a specific area centre-left of my chest and I didn’t have the pain that supposedly goes down the left arm or anywhere else.

Can someone please tell me if any damage I could have caused is reversible? Does it sound like I could have a heart attack any moment? I know I’m an idiot, know I need to stop. I’m not reliant on it to function but my boyfriend is an addict and sometimes I end up using with him. I’ve also been very depressed for a long time so have not had much respect for my life and body, honestly.",4.3513869463869455,5.063677435222676,5.201218255428781,84.43508955956327,70.19433198380568,8.012170285854497,27.520304257146364,8.101407402915765,1.6203219973009446,1919,62,395,25,33,626,237,494,0.159,0.762,0.079,-0.9922,1,0,6,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,1,0,17,27,3,4,28,0,54,19,9,13,1,73,89,32,0,12,12,0,1,5,1,4,7,6,0,0,19,19,3,3,11,2,0,5,11,14,1,3,24,9,45,13,63,57,9,61,0,5,2,0,16,26,0,11,34,260,64,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07114168315651473,0.0,0.0,0.11569591008412823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10437481681960188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331345879750671,0.06842950199392014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045630443745958066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14848252571632764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956227123453995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248777306906806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06703872494754261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15631143395677138,0.0,0.0,0.042086502780014884,0.0,0.05620727610295415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13359021635532828,0.057108382414463275,0.06678237090436948,0.0,0.06392874250911526,0.07567944565711228,0.0,0.054515321846002766,0.0,0.057799893322667266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343425028795178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584590326424617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3093277888080619,0.04374157258612992,0.0,0.0,0.06481667543709102,0.1285334704256584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793225447097606,0.10638920203396793,0.0,0.0,0.21271150763684585,0.0,0.04609419354537918,0.15941067387711905,0.0,0.0,0.11550390162788225,0.05480092425733525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06556119782255898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417784247841293,0.0,0.1918907954154556,0.09677709029365104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06124092740569754,0.0,0.0,0.07429753309157397,0.0,0.0,0.08844205210914882,0.049632229188411627,0.06943992387377383,0.07656709644433704,0.0,0.07066887984738474,0.0,0.045242208740015666,0.0,0.0,0.07163452385917643,0.0,0.0,0.06249985482687826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06527642196748765,0.0,0.08361286799182853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11146125239398674,0.18622808036056232,0.10379277370593644,0.0,0.0,0.05200278424928798,0.11881825199005808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05529353728659213,0.1507181497722071,0.19362775289907824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911849428477448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05703903440157431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08363035933779019,0.0,0.0,0.11415872679222275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5072635580384339,0.0,0.053845313116684425,0.03849130863543238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05867546431794896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06627344056668172,0.0,0.0927159043468634,0.0,0.0,0.08404900629623949
addiction,foiegravitas,2020/04/16,"Advice on talking to my boyfriend about oxycodone? My very loved boyfriend (36M) has an oxycodone habit, and has long before we met.  Since I found out, he’s been open and communicative about it, but unmotivated to stop. He admits to having a dependency on it but feels it’s under control.

He’s successful, makes more than enough money to support his habit, doesn’t act “off” in any way, so he thinks he’s fine. I have told him so many times that I love him and will support him, but I can’t make him get off the stuff if he doesn’t want to.

Any pointers for talking to him?",4.010344827586207,4.867084000000002,4.5098275862069,88.55543103448278,71.06896551724137,7.179310344827586,26.568965517241374,7.1686216300943375,1.0193999999999996,448,14,98,4,8,142,75,116,0.047,0.736,0.218,0.9706,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,0,2,4,6,0,0,3,0,9,2,0,4,0,20,23,9,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,2,4,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,4,1,13,6,17,18,2,13,0,0,0,2,20,8,0,2,3,58,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840543232673858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25617014677534056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16027274640416087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21125155437449264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19461683295914653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09523587625485087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20651704419082054,0.0,0.0,0.0984055733201672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16668462277443824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3399880887157232,0.0,0.25145138166329684,0.19095825357404805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155805813958662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15746978934243824,0.0,0.0,0.21561672225162215,0.0,0.42747674706589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3027786436812105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206876538562333,0.0,0.0,0.10982892666301868,0.0,0.0,0.17997736014778898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554092213082346,0.1110942430440418,0.14950418039546035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,_nazbolgang_,2020/04/16,"I'm not an addict yet but I think I'm in danger of becoming one I think I have an easily addicted personality (either that or I'm just incredibly weak-willed). I'm already addicted to binge watching shows and movies, I mean it'd literally be back to back all day 7 days a week if I had nothing on. When I switch the TV off, I feel empty.

I also munch on sugary snacks compulsively all day, and if there are none, I resort to eating pure sugar. Again, I feel horrible after not having any refined sugar for even a few hours.

I'm not at the legal drinking age in my country yet, but it won't be long. I'm seriously worried for myself. I have no self-discipline and seem to be maybe prone to addiction. 

I do have interests that I want to pursue - I seriously love reading philosophy and psychology and talking about them - but I don't have a clear goal in mind and wouldn't feel too horrible if I had to give these things up to live mindlessly.

My own consciousness scares and deeply pains me. I feel the urge to eliminate it. I fear this will also push me towards becoming dependent on some substance/behavior or another.

How do I stop myself from going down this path? And why should I? My hours spend mindlessly immersing myself in television and numbing my mind with sugar are my most blissful ones (second only to the sweet release of sleep). In the rest I overthink to a nauseating extent and usually just feel agonising existential angst.

Thank you for any responses, hope this is the right sub for this kinda thing?",4.874591836734695,6.185208159863947,6.285646258503405,74.93316326530616,69.4421768707483,9.95374149659864,29.64625850340137,10.181067101454742,3.1209360544217684,1205,46,223,32,21,409,173,294,0.163,0.742,0.095,-0.9605,0,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,1,1,16,12,1,2,12,0,21,14,1,2,4,51,42,22,0,7,14,0,5,0,0,4,6,0,0,1,12,11,6,1,10,4,1,2,8,7,0,3,2,10,33,5,34,32,10,33,0,0,1,1,6,14,0,11,17,159,45,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4811950225478531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217749482623722,0.17649512952357346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15008477501068465,0.1157125270794476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16970604166882194,0.0,0.0,0.2437477705443863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21350157975916906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10810185860183924,0.0,0.11291650690960718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07288572036443719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12417542766508108,0.27898362163937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10585862644792328,0.06271495233004824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10960333033521903,0.21734679113353494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744185527043286,0.09765706278328358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959598423848028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086229853138348,0.12020446681801365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22284587748535398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10588465261221564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14955323437179274,0.08392682244695705,0.1174211244786311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09635413842007333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11038074988816172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942390548676962,0.0,0.0,0.1104804891261649,0.0,0.0,0.10045930337293542,0.115120042162068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104305814619708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922582830276724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869586325136365,0.0,0.10159627098178103,0.0,0.0,0.14662445236020422,0.14141678570739524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12153591218304707,0.0,0.06508781246422879,0.0,0.08851682558597529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09957451186963827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11206668268463607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Blob19,2020/04/16,"To my dad. I just had a baby 11 months ago. 

My dad has been addicted to meth and who knows what for so many years I can’t even count. 

I have always wished he could recover but also have always just thought about him dead because I just want to be mentally prepared to hear it. Fucked up? YES. But he just can’t get sober. I love him so much tho. He was such a good dad when he was sober. 

Now that I had my first child it HURTS to know he hasn’t met my baby because he’s out there in some part of the country I don’t even know. It hurts so much I dreamed of him for months after having my baby, wishing he was well so he could hold him. 

I send him messages to his Facebook that he hasn’t logged into for months hoping when he does he see’s pictures of my baby. His grandchild. 

I have so much hurt in me sometimes I wish he had just died before using drugs because it hurts to know he is hurting and can’t shake the addiction.  * I don’t really wish he was dead* I just wish he was here with us... emotionally and mentally. I love him so much and he will probably never know how much. It fucking hurts. 

Just had to vent.",0.4284873949579833,2.436629882352939,2.1043126050420184,96.93186386554622,84.21008403361343,5.152537815126051,18.763697478991595,6.360717304075467,-0.22304591596638712,864,22,203,8,25,282,115,238,0.162,0.6829999999999999,0.155,-0.7199,0,0,2,0,0,0,24.0,1,0,0,1,26,14,2,1,4,1,27,7,0,2,1,36,49,17,3,9,9,3,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,9,7,0,1,6,1,0,2,8,9,1,1,12,2,30,5,22,33,7,18,0,6,1,4,36,5,2,2,11,132,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792510462089336,0.0,0.0,0.07287785446068537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06574659989284408,0.136817463240079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15035088844651795,0.0,0.06995815845704859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13128256566325974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532527381079225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07194612807073421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09534227480044696,0.0,0.0,0.09247981623242514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10860329817911107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06993128616689365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15201125330602608,0.04295348302093017,0.0,0.0,0.06895730095961017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09266128532470873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08165716896465855,0.0,0.0,0.5280714777039418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259136438855069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484029014134756,0.0,0.0,0.08335221091505363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16570498652104615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968675721548656,0.0,0.3021841794248354,0.0,0.06340859559281335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890298773167073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08864072367096038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052668468748100716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06551400718165826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131186420832362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06526882572142316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889346034135828,0.07100660060604458,0.0,0.0,0.0484920164713617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07392036496134098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4727108874595059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05294319603837815
addiction,kayb1217,2020/04/16,"Tips to quit drinking? Basically I have always had a very addictive personality and I've gone through phases where I drank here and there and phases where I would binge drink for days on end and then quit but as of recently ive started to have physical problems I believe are from drinking and withdrawal. I have stabbing stomach pain, extreme fatigue where its hard to get out of bed, im sweating extremely bad and now Im getting acne. I really want to quit and I feel like i can but ive been drinking pretty heavily every  day for a little over a week now and I realize its a problem. Any tips on quitting would be helpful as I can't go to treatment or anything at the moment. Thank you.",3.706031851360319,5.4288162189781035,5.201579296615794,79.95276045122766,72.94160583941607,7.901526211015263,32.16257465162575,8.575989854853784,2.741341605839417,550,27,102,10,11,185,89,137,0.145,0.732,0.122,-0.6486,0,0,4,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,4,7,7,0,0,5,0,13,10,2,0,0,19,22,14,0,5,3,0,2,1,0,2,3,0,1,1,2,9,5,0,2,4,0,2,1,5,0,0,4,2,13,2,18,15,0,21,0,1,0,0,3,9,0,1,11,68,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13631145447862708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10404283716477293,0.0,0.0,0.08503111220261812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10289681138300136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044027159052636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408766388901968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16128019898661233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4899642228163471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11074783696343804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053511275711825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0632237017582129,0.0893282064012496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13065590119192727,0.0,0.07106279964744643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120107848640038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381130605639604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27012812072635456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061087958146287764,0.1253223756093279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330507882600253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917962271123877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12721007077574153,0.0,0.2392917289525013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5319793760379019,0.0,0.0,0.08010347199700661,0.0,0.12346136970516293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850356463705376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151195238371702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10317063952007753,0.07375150589758088,0.0,0.10029910265961103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17764887213896174,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,silly_s3x_panda,2020/04/16,"7 mo on alcohol and 65 days on booger sugar! The hardest part is not having anything to do, and I know I'm not supposed to be a mind reader, but I'm pretty sure that's what's making most of us struggle (judging by some of your amazing posts). All I have to say is start working on finding yourself through 12 step working and try rekindling with those who matter (please stay indoors and safe or maintain safe distancing). I've been closer with my family than ever before and they are scattered throughout the country! Coming clean to them when I popped was a real wake up call. 

The best part about losing everything is learning how to work up to becoming better through the experience. I may be losing my job now, but through this sober experience and knowing I'll forever be an addict is one hell of an adventure only a few of us can share! I want to be somebody! I wasted too much time being a stoner or too high to feel my teeth or too drunk to remember who I was. for too long was I caught up on self victimizing and playing a pity party. That only feeds the addiction! 

Even if people call me a loser or talk smack about me, I know I'm working on becoming better than I ever was, and that's something nobody has over me! 

I felt a surge reading some of these posts and I truly hope that y'all make it. It is incredibly difficult at times and learning how to live a new life is never easy, especially for the vets, but we can do it. Easy does it and let's take this one day at a time.

God (or whomever your higher power is) bless!

Edit to the title: I've been clean! The title seems misleading (perhaps)",4.7109834368530015,5.332484611801245,5.7813043478260875,80.92384057971016,69.34161490683229,8.245134575569358,29.30848861283644,8.269060116576782,2.0246960662525884,1263,45,246,17,21,420,185,322,0.124,0.68,0.196,0.9784,2,0,2,0,0,0,33.0,3,3,2,11,13,20,2,1,19,0,28,9,2,4,5,56,45,23,0,3,11,0,2,0,0,1,4,1,2,1,15,15,4,2,10,3,0,3,3,8,0,2,8,4,26,12,39,30,9,32,2,4,0,0,16,13,1,12,13,172,41,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21945834191587668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10756994042448244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08283076319930567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223318158451772,0.08565027531597684,0.0,0.10563156271947458,0.17804292587954454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055606991843144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08670565730253524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12982872638562534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08808416077676279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06648189856923531,0.1820970238163928,0.0,0.0,0.09046252358643728,0.1969204610974162,0.09488889046489382,0.0,0.05089436104511974,0.0,0.09664490516304074,0.0,0.0919971514260965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634788635687677,0.0,0.09997345781536324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988488726955087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16595261702014966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10292689825916122,0.07109583888508324,0.0,0.0,0.0888805036994306,0.08907680283689046,0.0,0.22521514342230545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13437643361856702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101633193370908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07399325177994864,0.0,0.07763159851124851,0.09721354845709364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364133181162581,0.15310583387961565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21799983509300988,0.0,0.06978173466076197,0.0,0.0,0.11048933011243037,0.0,0.0,0.19279997185494852,0.10240266056225984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068257240744036,0.11456780594455833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11402287143477127,0.0,0.0,0.08004516132350155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09163283540014584,0.10500546510395728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07748939341433149,0.0,0.0,0.07124436322384718,0.10728519304691242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10522680934137207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948664607531454,0.0,0.07568028418994997,0.08090294442730184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17607880349085167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06833836435509423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421519460203447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05936912367338831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931131267701921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,romieklund,2020/04/16,"Marijuana Addiction Withdrawal I know some people don’t believe that marajuana addiction is a thing. Trust me it is.

I’ve been experiencing withdrawal like no other the last week and a half. I used to eat 50-100mgs of edibles a sitting. I stopped stone cold and I’ve been experiencing so many negative symptoms.

My appetite is gone. My mind is cloudy at all times. My whole body aches. I can’t sleep at all. I get cold sweats. My head is pounding constantly. And I can’t function as a normal human being. I’m laying in bed being a vegetable.

This whole corona thing isn’t helping the situation either. I know I can’t take a hit. It’s a spiral waiting to happen?

How long does this last? How did y’all deal with it? Hard af man.",0.6674844006568144,3.1902414758620696,2.9718226600985216,86.05425287356323,92.86206896551724,6.072249589490969,22.077175697865357,7.447530270364453,1.3003727422003282,574,22,113,12,21,195,93,145,0.092,0.831,0.078,-0.425,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,9,0,15,9,4,3,2,17,25,7,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,1,2,9,4,2,2,2,0,0,1,7,0,0,1,4,5,14,2,8,18,6,12,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,8,70,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3627460841214647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874473766605767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18480484759996785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17979200570387688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17152506811936022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14559567030331527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702429110644468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869239432335525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14712464741930453,0.0,0.14903910219503969,0.0,0.17074849894785935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11151749203083358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18287042982959048,0.2712352640415086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08128230195070033,0.0,0.0,0.14723642370144127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16867788920495133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16799107561920995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16301193634026254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115343307392241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18701219676314146,0.16649491002830424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390967459258365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729270754161132,0.12509311104531715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210639904315678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701445827257556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14369437089140846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13345579382829992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3715029473555451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,TemporaryPlatypus9,2020/04/16,"My friend needs help One of my (ex) friends has issues substances. He is currently 17 and I am worried about him. About a year ago, we had smoked weed together, and he mentioned he had done xanax. It turns out he was addicted to painkillers as well and I told his mom, and she got him to go to rehab. I guess she blames me for it, as she has held a grudge against me (I have done some things, but only psychedelics and weed, and I have tried to discourage him from this stuff). While he told me that he had cleaned himself up after he got back, but I see his snapchat stories and he is still definitely doing various substances (likely xanax or molly). He and his family are no longer in my life, but I am worried about him. His mother also tends to overreact and make rash judgements, so I cannot be sure how she would react if I told her. Along with this, the quarantine makes things worse, as going to rehab right now is barely an option, and it would likely make their whole family dynamic much worse, which I'd feel bad for. Plus, if he's already been to rehab once, how much will it really help a second time? Any and all advice for what to do would be greatly appreciated.",4.893662374821171,5.4605437167382025,5.154695278969958,85.77252932761087,68.91416309012875,8.445092989985694,26.69213161659513,8.447377352677275,1.5544909298998562,918,26,192,13,15,290,142,233,0.135,0.7759999999999999,0.08900000000000001,-0.9144,1,1,1,0,0,0,32.0,1,0,1,0,11,10,0,0,5,0,26,8,1,6,2,40,43,26,0,6,6,3,1,2,2,4,7,0,1,0,12,16,0,2,1,0,0,2,2,2,1,2,13,2,31,8,27,24,6,15,0,1,1,0,37,4,0,6,11,136,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13059815101113093,0.0,0.11706580011081508,0.10619422584714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13220072808180708,0.09580289279054843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146715237216641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09211772449355304,0.10002682247004917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24519111084459985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.225870906305546,0.0,0.060573768956419076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851121939732994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13616860410048828,0.0,0.19162775976494864,0.1320783734326673,0.13197165812488731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16059694538010427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12503860807249653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461729020568537,0.11705508408614974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398994763678001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14030666606240075,0.0,0.0,0.1761315024145504,0.08882913990650146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12758159340717154,0.08117862808835732,0.09111222949711263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674604729583642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10230734518899734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09546396949094184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956713123687217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13714072921279907,0.0,0.0,0.11290875761815368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15917772606933425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06985552388486925,0.0,0.0,0.34341807288478965,0.0,0.08133538192247329,0.1303064698528817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077133237455881,0.0,0.0,0.13375085257591285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24332257588319714,0.2441700050813393,0.2553044531653679,0.0,0.0,0.07714636714781327
addiction,beebopshabeebop,2020/04/16,"quarantine has been hard I finally quit smoking and binge drinking (mainly because I had to move home from college), but I feel pretty good. I went to pick up a gram before everything went haywire. The dealer was cutting up lines and offered me one. I declined, but haven’t been able to get it off my mind. My family has a long history of addiction, and I’m wondering if this is the familial “addiction gene” surfacing or if I’ve just been bored and having more free time than I’m used to.",7.108125000000001,6.300092729166668,7.754250000000002,73.66575000000002,64.41666666666666,11.846666666666668,36.90833333333333,11.20814326018867,4.1610733333333325,386,17,73,10,5,129,71,96,0.057,0.809,0.134,0.887,0,1,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,0,4,0,10,3,0,2,0,15,18,9,0,2,6,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,2,4,1,0,2,1,1,3,1,2,0,1,7,2,8,3,10,11,2,10,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,4,3,47,10,1,0.190107363975604,0.0,0.0,0.4144901752685096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11588768456677025,0.0,0.16176736467426586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18623284206674054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17085624054768014,0.0,0.3584326072681668,0.0,0.09612399531322786,0.0,0.0,0.20825332486073514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932325128516313,0.0,0.0,0.1594530373199445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17029885723038715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19069318647453815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16823903478854327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19195424409774228,0.0,0.0,0.20205404201005794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12882166984711976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19340753399423227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022025823660289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11085313273709832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16419172413708155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3524628620191267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20616332679433247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,billie-isis,2020/04/16,"The biggest regret of addiction Hey all, 
I thought I’d just share my thoughts on how I’m feeling in regards to my past addictions 
So I was essentially a drug addict since I was very young (started at twelve years of age) 
It first started smoking weed and drinking with my mates and over the years turned into basically every drug other than meth and heroin. I left school when I was fifteen and got a full time job and would work six days a week and would blow the whole pay check on a cocktail of drugs, this went on up until I was twenty years old and decided one day I’ve had enough and quit everything that same day.
I’ve been sober for a very long time but one thing I regret is going out with friends to have a good night and watch them pull out a bag of coke or mdma mid way through and see them enjoying themselves with no toxic history behind it and genuinely just have fun in the moment and wake up the next day with no thought of taking more for months knowing if that was me I’d be calling my dealer the next morning for more. 
Sometimes I’ll be visiting my brothers for dinner and a movie and they will pull out a joint to lighten up the mood and knowing I can’t participate because one joint never stays to just one joint. 
Honestly all the money spent over the years all the moments in life I missed to do drugs all the relationships I ruined I got past but I genuinely wish i could just clear any memory of my previous addiction and be able to just take substance once a year just to have a good time but clearly that will never be the case. It feels great to be sober and actually have a savings account or be able to take things seriously and be taken seriously but every now and then it would be nice to just just roll up a joint put my feet up and just drift off for a few hours. 
Any way I’d love any advice or others to share their experiences as it always helps to hear from others than are also in the same boat 
Cheers for reading 
-Corey",11.256379992803168,6.2605200302267034,10.3010237495502,71.71647984886653,60.2846347607053,13.458726160489386,40.699712126664274,10.125756701596842,3.821981792011515,1560,49,324,21,14,499,207,397,0.06,0.79,0.15,0.9924,1,0,6,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,4,3,14,20,0,0,27,0,29,15,2,1,8,72,54,35,0,8,17,1,2,0,2,5,9,1,0,0,14,28,4,0,8,3,5,7,5,6,0,6,15,5,25,13,55,25,12,69,0,4,2,1,16,24,0,4,35,215,39,5,0.15880345023614792,0.0,0.07748462987869181,0.3462384020540721,0.0,0.07759044682434943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06349753088987059,0.06606859603781742,0.0,0.0,0.16198768764438945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04840255465181025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107803899062656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06339581652960592,0.0,0.0,0.2048301758413233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07778346206325086,0.3683231710305272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08204320746599778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337987559606015,0.0,0.07136115068333361,0.07767012316198024,0.0,0.0,0.08029579594919213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753906682304363,0.0,0.0,0.06134557586172866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04512583019807483,0.1331967996794165,0.12700962612510971,0.08754068225539062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949151494967574,0.0,0.05322130263011265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781947049817744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879396029251247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727422318077632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627020666709953,0.0,0.0560837866388804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026802810292111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166315696938587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06337769945260183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247901074428652,0.0,0.1688892709120067,0.0745131402029403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08331875370358839,0.08456024585877654,0.21521865549121805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515958622353433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982066464729941,0.0,0.08445350841460547,0.07942321235254811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524773751071442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803587848752809,0.06327289474309873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06568192753245805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07853033643862926,0.0,0.1124018994340182,0.08463167424017219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17910064686652946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10550195598127146,0.0,0.0,0.1891083014549652,0.13889935334432355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636627614912314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13102947768754572,0.0,0.12605078710528106,0.0636912744514918,0.0,0.0,0.07360619467629809,0.0,0.0886491904952522,0.09130806529116066,0.0,0.0,0.05780540155593985,0.0,0.0,0.16921412213127665,0.0,0.0,0.25566053844111325
addiction,Lovewillsetyoufree23,2020/04/16,"Addiction Relapse, family , mental illness I would like to ask if anyone has any information on the link 
Behind childhood trauma mental illness and addiction as a whole 

And what I can do implement 
Changes that have helped you or someone you know 

I will leave this open ended 
So that the context of the discussion 
Q&A based",7.421034482758618,9.12490713793104,7.1546551724137935,69.59336206896553,63.82758620689656,9.937931034482759,36.91379310344829,10.125756701596842,4.2594,266,13,39,6,4,84,48,58,0.154,0.805,0.040999999999999995,-0.7096,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,6,4,0,0,0,9,8,6,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,5,6,1,4,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,2,3,30,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4977401792808444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24735241060686786,0.0,0.15524521102816352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15962586379078247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134205841832826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24150083392786825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20219741780317688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2152117478854414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530181548639156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254623612946666,0.0,0.0,0.24172643189320195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115310938318888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4601257925299899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19342960372157106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548779321325406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621708568177425,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,BeardedBoyy,2020/04/16,"Quick vent! Hi all, hope this post finds everyone well and healthy. I've never posted here before, but I just had a frustrating exchange with my parents and I felt a need to come on here and vent.

​

For context, I'm three years and some change clean from Meth. I live in Florida but I went to New Jersey for rehab, stayed there for almost three years and on September 2019 I moved back home to Florida. Been living with my parents since I got here and co-habituating has been mostly smooth sailing. I have a good relationship with them, we hang out, I go fishing with my dad, watch movies and then I lead a pretty robust social life with good friends. I've been gainfully employed for the last three years, got a job as soon as I moved back to Florida and never missed a day in the 7 months at my ""new"" job. I got laid off due to COVID-19 about three weeks ago and my sleep schedule has gone to shit. I stay up all night bullshitting on Skype with online friends, fall asleep around 8 AM and then wake up around 4 or 5, rinse repeat. Additionally out of the last two checks I've received since being laid off, I've given my father $700 dollars to help out with groceries and the mortgage. He's an independent contractor and I don't want him out, working more than he actually needs and potentially exposing himself to the virus.

I was just watching TV in my room and I walked out to the kitchen to get a drink and my parents were like ""Are you okay? We are seriously concerned about you... we are seeing a lot of red flags. You don't want to hang out with us, you sleep all day. You haven't cut your hair.""Pretty much accusing me of a relapse and it's just really frustrating because at the base of it... there's nothing wrong except the fact that I'm furloughed, really bored, and there's nothing to fucking do. I've been respecting social distancing (more than I actually would if I was living on my own) because they are elderly and I don't want to put their health at risk.Anyway, we kind of went back and forth but I was so frustrated that I was having trouble really articulating just how offended and frustrated their line of questioning was. I guess it stems from the fact that they're very ignorant and uneducated when it comes to substance abuse. If I was shooting up crystal meth in my room, I wouldn't be in this damn house. I would be out, running around, doing chaotic addict things.

Fuck, it really rubbed me the wrong way and I'm so incredibly mad. I never thought that I could be this mad at them in the good head space I am and have been in. I know it came from a place of caring and concern -- but sometimes I feel like... are we ever going to get past this? It's been 3+ years, are they ever going to fully trust me? I know I put the family through it, but like, even during active addiction nobody in the family had it worse than me. I never stole from them, never asked for money, when I started going off the rails I removed myself from their lives completely as to not drag them into my bullshit, I never lost my temper with them... I just removed myself from the family and then sent myself to rehab, by my own choice (and kind of out of the blue) when I decided I'd had enough.

I know that there is very little of substance and this post and there's nothing anyone can \*really\* say...but I just had to let it out because I'm completely and absolutely fuming right now. I don't like being that guy that's like ""Yeah, this conversation is over"" but it's what I literally just had to do with them. I had to put a pin in it because we are 3 years and some change into sobriety and me turning my life around. Accusations or insinuations that I've relapsed because my sleep schedule is funky and I'm not as peppy as I normally am during a global pandemic is just kind of really fucking lame and unfair.  I can't even come around to like a gentle, ""I understand your concern"" stance because I'm just so incredibly... angry right now.

Thanks for letting me rant.",4.4666156501726135,5.5024262392405054,5.366754890678943,82.16882048331415,70.15189873417722,8.47963176064442,27.401611047180662,8.789673983102933,1.936701265822785,3139,103,629,54,55,1028,333,790,0.13699999999999998,0.7440000000000001,0.11900000000000001,-0.9667,7,0,3,1,1,0,107.0,7,7,11,4,43,45,15,0,30,2,59,19,7,3,13,136,108,58,0,13,22,5,4,6,2,3,7,0,5,1,28,70,2,1,10,2,4,26,15,24,1,5,31,9,96,21,108,66,13,122,0,3,5,3,47,48,5,12,48,429,124,5,0.0,0.06427725571237125,0.10588014564462056,0.1182807883790616,0.0,0.0,0.0480892595234112,0.0,0.05432343442980913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0587797396149804,0.06591956154703639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03793278863310179,0.0,0.0,0.2414695452828469,0.050716329531587126,0.0,0.0,0.1251444640573893,0.0,0.1984213983132689,0.0,0.04616266577435812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062047428649167985,0.05531138450448877,0.0,0.11477839330737112,0.14019444528474315,0.1137599675480718,0.0,0.0,0.043314127575514234,0.0,0.0,0.06997338983371905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05314424489665552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05605464444530121,0.0,0.07166308928662396,0.09814427353479194,0.0,0.051838100424776726,0.0,0.0,0.15342592140203484,0.0,0.027430377427953498,0.03875613651853449,0.0520884076481629,0.0,0.049583422094192836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382667010298445,0.150459463951206,0.05668666312184738,0.0,0.1233258642697732,0.13650671660495586,0.1301657928815914,0.0,0.059762376595106775,0.05371592616391807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05567604435760498,0.05766510257351878,0.0,0.0,0.03636256172801565,0.0,0.05441706892114458,0.05388238744606386,0.0,0.06259709621556997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10766930170214192,0.0,0.0,0.16947875535245674,0.08944297219850507,0.0884418117006882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11094838833851872,0.07663661176317328,0.15902255340859034,0.054372647718069766,0.19161460817245335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05922016990684525,0.04612132155658583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04330174938673762,0.11531810793171962,0.03987991560884735,0.08045122092333037,0.2510451850189514,0.10478977515503857,0.0,0.050909852376380405,0.053153379704210406,0.15616271492463896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18071426828734447,0.0,0.051787664204272034,0.0,0.0,0.0566795947838442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15586921284044214,0.11038329477637662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16360838810621864,0.06077229915509313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20852323502699352,0.0,0.0,0.05824408581185583,0.0,0.09265822947900718,0.0,0.04314169470441983,0.0,0.0,0.04323014332806635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055686738618270136,0.08975214909387504,0.0,0.16286722377949545,0.1106018741759186,0.0,0.0,0.053654534277705064,0.0,0.03839835558819207,0.11564634184516805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04994601550311259,0.0,0.0,0.03604122031226628,0.0,0.0,0.0430683576256904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059008308562414624,0.05299426554166109,0.05647605492708501,0.06525594523490348,0.0,0.0,0.08952369136315043,0.09599398262319174,0.04306104229387442,0.043515994241523415,0.0,0.04877717162500788,0.10058039413589458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039494570377187815,0.0,0.05528527868874422,0.07707513917893875,0.11862748989735088,0.06591956154703639,0.1746757717505161
addiction,Real_Bad_Dream,2020/04/17,"Gabapentin Has been being scheduled because people supposedly abuse it. But i dont understand how this could be addictive, ive been prescribed for like a year and only really felt “high” the first time i took it. Taking it consistently leads to zero cognitive effects within a matter of days even if i take a huge dose like 4g, even after 2 week tolerance breaks. Or use with other substances. Anyone have a different experience, or actually have a problem with this drug? Im curious",6.573071161048691,7.904121382022474,7.563539325842697,67.25557116104869,65.51685393258428,10.877153558052433,33.934456928838955,10.864195022040775,4.196144569288388,389,17,62,11,6,131,72,89,0.079,0.774,0.147,0.4588,1,0,1,0,1,0,8.0,0,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,6,0,10,3,0,4,0,16,16,6,0,3,4,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,1,0,2,4,1,4,2,7,9,0,13,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,9,42,10,1,0.0,0.2325351253943049,0.1915207227764424,0.2139515576126925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13722903480548396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963782063170462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15669704587556904,0.0,0.0,0.12657098377114406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20504915050103614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300143859591664,0.0,0.2275984283641671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592547747834397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919792112242958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18843966298523845,0.0,0.0,0.16693802259682605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20735867897510354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119936743593872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917647177453678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14926400770261214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13606145652288407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18779360226564554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12572870467486247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951250709661836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11444035024465694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21805125434170428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20431280658607454,0.0,0.1695049833375918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15742733670664352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126384526026165
addiction,Inner-Cupcake,2020/04/17,"Recovery instagram accounts can be damaging. Hey guys,   


I'm trying to get my blog going just to get some of the fire out of my head and onto the paper (screen).   


I've just written an article about that may be considered controversial on recovery instagram accounts but I'd also be grateful if you give my other posts a look as they may help those in recovery.   


 [https://www.onedrunkman.com/why-celebrating-your-sobriety-birthdays-can-be-harmful-for-others/](https://www.onedrunkman.com/why-celebrating-your-sobriety-birthdays-can-be-harmful-for-others/)",17.598,22.068805657142853,11.952857142857148,34.302142857142876,42.42857142857143,11.314285714285715,34.0,11.20814326018867,4.488371428571427,476,14,50,10,5,131,54,70,0.071,0.8270000000000001,0.102,0.6486,0,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,1,1,0,4,1,0,0,4,0,6,1,1,0,0,9,13,5,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,3,5,0,10,7,1,6,0,1,2,0,6,4,0,4,0,35,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912156840835645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3805133029570829,0.3493319322793097,0.2069584332934669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3605720174796055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3737294518211344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24408631069651734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30579960056062805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34876110029473384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472382429885022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,LazyPumpkin1,2020/04/17,"My boyfriend is an addict, I love him and I want to help him recover. Hey guys. I've asked this question in someone else's post, but I've figured I'd probably get more advice here, so I'm gonna post it here as well.

""I met my boyfriend last summer. He was addicted to heroin since he was around 15, now he is 38. He only stopped using 1 year ago, a few months before we have met. I am not worried about him relapsing, because he did it one time last December, regretted it and stopped at that. My issue is that now he has problems with drinking (he also smokes a lot of weed, but that's the least of our worries atm). I know alcohol isn't as bad, but I just wish he could be sober and himself always. Also, I don't drink or do drugs, and I don't feel too comfortable with him when he's drunk. I feel like he's just running away from his emotions and his problems. I love him so much, but it's really difficult to be happy with someone who drinks every day, even if it's just a few beers... I want to support him and be there for him, I want to love him, I want him to know that he is worthy and important. I am just worried that I am gonna waste my life waiting for him to heal, and he might never change... What should I do? How can I help him? How do I talk to him? How do I support him? How and when do I know it's time to walk away?""

I would also like to add that I don't want to be his saviour, and I am not trying to change him. I love him and I know he loves me too. Even though it's difficult for me sometimes, I believe that he deserves to be happy, healthy and thriving. He is a special guy, and I just care about him a lot.",2.5497457627118654,2.9222449491525464,4.095833333333335,91.9688347457627,74.08474576271186,7.255932203389831,25.76694915254237,7.1686216300943375,0.8863694915254237,1248,39,302,12,24,418,161,354,0.10300000000000001,0.662,0.23600000000000002,0.9946,0,0,7,0,0,0,51.0,2,0,0,0,30,21,0,0,7,0,33,16,0,5,1,64,62,33,0,13,13,0,2,2,0,5,6,0,0,2,17,19,6,3,8,5,1,2,7,6,1,1,5,2,55,15,31,46,7,25,0,1,0,5,53,5,0,6,18,200,72,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18397800320843868,0.0,0.0824572629154234,0.07479968694946383,0.09017885887487992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024411308360904,0.07021271067398432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07511800586654205,0.07888592192486868,0.0,0.15855962011091468,0.0,0.07045557277359983,0.05143857701628763,0.0,0.07180299682081236,0.09506979006594976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08603322834827687,0.0,0.17853025754688914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06737228261043064,0.0,0.0,0.054419507663732346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2479871547720701,0.09785650745207346,0.0,0.07049046081344024,0.09491856414435236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114672319265254,0.0,0.07109560293534499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533230350605396,0.06028262667562542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044086191987003635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671031952282626,0.0,0.17965274103844894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11311915637261985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807304413972833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18549689713343007,0.13756543340481944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05960160985596241,0.08244971490343014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14347737720721976,0.38079093608979575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08951612910438156,0.0,0.0,0.06735302915020548,0.0,0.06203059129368808,0.0,0.06508071807748145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05717953042697953,0.06417642945541817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16162955361301976,0.0,0.09097823242228592,0.1614846479533344,0.0,0.0,0.0945273226714404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054057367682123485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06980178860931688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14299344812995204,0.0,0.0834561065644566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14109451590748492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915117335865809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06782317791831209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290503649493161,0.0,0.09840782352517588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05728994262337221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07287908701460133,0.0,0.0,0.2488538993393951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07586968907380781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09703531110029807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25708251590814435,0.0,0.0599426601626535,0.0,0.0,0.05433933969490153
addiction,cbriansmith902,2020/04/17,"How is coronavirus impacting availability, prices Wondering what your experience is with ability to get whatever you're addicted to these days.",9.974999999999998,13.84862377272728,10.154545454545453,41.8518181818182,61.27272727272727,18.94545454545455,47.36363636363637,14.554592549557764,10.636018181818184,121,8,14,8,2,40,20,22,0.0,0.897,0.10300000000000001,0.3182,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,3,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,9,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5443794606837649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220478722023633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4884729077689911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608965963207622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5415379536094693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,amandaapink,2020/04/17,"Tapering fent 30s 

I have approx 100 pressed fent 30s and need to taper down with those.  Everytime I’ve tried before I could never do it. I’ve been doing 4-10 a day for the last 7 months and have withdrew several times at that dose and it’s complete hell.  Hoping to get down to at least 1 or 1/2 a day before I drop off.  Should I wait until I start to get sick then take one and continue that way?   Any supplements that helped anyone I should start now while I taper that help.",1.8633333333333333,3.7222137171717233,3.122222222222224,92.27000000000002,78.49494949494951,6.420202020202023,19.080808080808087,7.3871296695380915,0.2810686868686867,374,8,82,5,9,121,68,99,0.106,0.836,0.057999999999999996,-0.6705,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,3,0,8,2,0,0,1,13,16,8,0,5,1,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,7,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,7,1,12,12,1,20,1,0,0,0,2,5,1,2,13,48,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547713362590439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591386173962019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3873304901313612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23862738020319124,0.0,0.0,0.1817148336432864,0.0,0.0,0.2935578667935373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23781634620300265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051021560450604,0.0,0.0,0.22605162839755885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18551902115865967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18166290369247706,0.0,0.0,0.16875764380795916,0.17553408316618668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15422319768235332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2571157929222232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3221836009841988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17112193428703462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13271155873162213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545209986937232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806530703705398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,throwmerightaway1011,2020/04/17,"A friend of mine recently found out her Dad is doing hard drugs. How can I help her through this? One of my best friend's recently found out her Dad is doing hard street drugs. This isn't typical for him, growing up he was your typical suburban Disneyland Dad. He's 65+ and lives in another state. He's recently come out of the hospital where they identified the substances in his system. He isn't interested in getting help. She's made the call to cut him off but its clear its really hurting her.

I think she'd really benefit from hearing other people's stories and how they got through it. Are there any resources I can point her to? Anything I can do to help her through this?",3.139666666666667,5.2192829111111125,4.26861111111111,84.49625000000003,75.44444444444444,8.648148148148149,28.287037037037038,9.2995712137729,2.6063703703703704,543,23,108,14,12,177,81,135,0.069,0.7759999999999999,0.156,0.9203,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,2,1,4,7,1,0,4,0,13,2,0,3,1,14,21,5,0,0,1,3,2,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,7,6,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,5,3,20,5,19,15,1,18,0,1,0,0,28,11,0,0,3,71,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10416766073058098,0.1606225982912919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12605409785611446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16075297183603102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15641391850997746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319510166047114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3552803643016437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3359079528219659,0.2366929941384838,0.0,0.08003023384768768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225120486264618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744384057467471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17264500598357205,0.0,0.3080199988634539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16398237068205224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13526075672960458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449426308196293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037987402659125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10619573295892124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448046232231809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962620758021524,0.0,0.4537403453738758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815156636726484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ekurisona,2020/04/17,"The Pleasure Trap - Douglas J. Lisle, Ph.D. > Why is it so hard for humans to make the right choices? Douglas Lisle shows us. One of psychology's most innovative and curious minds, Lisle is the Director of Research for TrueNorth Health Center and coauthor of The Pleasure Trap.

[The Pleasure Trap - TEDx Talk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jX2btaDOBK8)

One of the best TED Talks I've ever seen...I hope this helpful.

Please share your observations, insights, questions, and criticisms.",5.770529344073648,9.553131645569623,4.089390103567322,78.5353279631761,80.64556962025317,6.9233601841196775,33.76409666283084,8.00094639256281,3.3736481012658235,396,21,57,8,11,113,58,79,0.106,0.5760000000000001,0.318,0.9732,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,1,1,0,1,2,6,0,0,6,0,2,1,0,1,1,10,4,4,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,6,7,4,2,3,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,3,1,28,4,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573894035352495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22185530128962289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197083411757101,0.0,0.0,0.26070412963645434,0.0,0.0,0.16439526825722764,0.0,0.0,0.24360246136649005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16371560359345336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476466914589901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3323944253049915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692261862126619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747517762070286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094540891450059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3942677751665896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950223557545911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22131258335510853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,zorosepai,2020/04/17,"Ashamed for being addicted to Ritalin 
I don’t even know why. I was diagnosed with ADD (also having CPTSD, but realized it last year) and took it several years without being addicted- more like the opposite. 
And now I can’t stop taking too much even though it makes me feel worse and I know it. And it’s not even making me feel high, or like a having a lot of energy, never did. Every time I read about students using it to stay awake or have more energy or stuff like that, I get kinda jealous because in my case it made me clean up my room when I first got it prescribed. 
And then it teared down many layers of dissociation, false beliefs and illusions I had to create during my life to cope with the traumatic experiences I experienced in my family and school. 

But now it became the only controllable instance in my life and the irony is, I can’t even control it. It feels more like a psychological addiction, because I get extremely afraid, when I don’t take it. It feels like a frame that brings me somehow through the day. 
Before that it was binging food, and other things that are still haunting me, like skin picking, binge watching and now smoking.

It got even worse and I am terrified that all the trauma and stuff that came up when I started the medication , even though I used it correctly except the past two years, is all my fault due to abusing the medication. 
It doesn’t even make me feel good and it’s like I am addicted to destroy myself, but I’d rather torture me with that, than to sit and wait for what is trying to overwhelm me when I don’t run away. 

I am ashamed, I feel like trash and that everything is my fault and nothing ever happened to me and I just got crazy because of substance abuse. 
I want to disappear and hide and run away from my existence. I can’t endure what I try to avoid so much that I use this as means of escape. 

I feel too close to the core of my anxiety that I feel like I go mad when I don’t try to escape or dissociate. 
It feels like I am dissolving and falling uncontrollable without something to hold on to. No safety no secure ground, I would rather die than to feel this because I can’t imagine something more horrific than to feel this solitude, abandonment, pain, darkness, panic and deadly terror. 

I feel like a baby or child , crying and not sure if it is existing , and not knowing what it feels and needs and when this ends",6.850512820512817,6.238593179487183,7.141569230769233,77.20343076923079,64.85470085470085,10.393982905982908,33.03623931623932,9.791249743138472,2.9462874188034176,1880,67,368,34,25,612,222,468,0.239,0.64,0.121,-0.997,0,1,2,0,1,0,44.0,0,0,0,3,29,31,4,8,15,0,29,13,1,10,6,96,69,46,2,6,18,0,14,11,0,1,11,0,2,1,43,31,1,8,20,1,0,8,17,17,0,2,10,16,51,14,46,56,9,48,1,2,1,0,1,13,0,9,36,264,94,3,0.0,0.15035528776308904,0.0,0.27667861324322196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05074078636786911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0485389273782814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11922636142255875,0.0,0.0,0.15471364954371178,0.0,0.053991111004129566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07256967403253523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14232870376185233,0.0,0.0,0.06969663173944117,0.04091987534162382,0.0,0.0,0.0644002167630142,0.06585088046027716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05619769458834239,0.0,0.0,0.2933559858999211,0.05739398145611412,0.05345919752579352,0.0,0.05702459372898187,0.06206608463821095,0.05981482954081203,0.0,0.4170676641136679,0.2719713214689224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0539703719676442,0.07672375641549309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629980894139377,0.0,0.036059986548524485,0.05321868632292975,0.15223981662502376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05610845327311758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06703820292656586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10461106089742304,0.051720059845315317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963294782218206,0.3409820688118967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05394275547236645,0.0,0.060037739918974674,0.12705971318376647,0.06432814372489902,0.0,0.06911543891030485,0.0,0.12783800714633226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328581503491114,0.04704722665412058,0.04893640139726427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06088179942795386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04825643608195256,0.0675150663741053,0.0744446754853707,0.0,0.0,0.060570018645902564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06346697570997095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06421459037848408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07168021971041083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09769351998090826,0.0,0.0,0.04491009875971454,0.06762905017556692,0.05067109646728645,0.05304687831794567,0.0,0.0,0.14526969365181708,0.0,0.0,0.05980069058968394,0.0,0.09541271430709493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04215323127384785,0.0,0.12467822309338047,0.0,0.036998091715320515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07049506830001782,0.1292347585150712,0.0,0.06198124015254462,0.0,0.0,0.1644007792615323,0.0,0.0,0.0374243390887254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05725358028973066,0.0,0.0,0.12232669617894408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12932154452121142,0.04507292121526837,0.0,0.0,0.12257878297252972
addiction,Avehadinagh,2020/04/17,"Can I be immune to nicotine addiction? I have smoked since I was 16 (I'm currently 20). After about half a year I was buying my own cigarettes and was an active smoker. I smoked 5-6 cigs on average, more at parties, fewer on stay-at-home weekends.

I didn't smoke for a week when I was 17 because I felt a slight craving for it and thought that it has to stop. Then I stopped smoking for a week or two now and then, it happened about 3 times. Then in January 2020 I had a tonsillectomy so I had to stop smoking for 3 weeks and I didn't crave it. But I went back cause it's a nice feeling sometimes and I was having good conversations while doing it. Then coronavirus and quarantine came and I stopped smoking. In the last 5 weeks I have smoked about 5 cigarettes altogether, when I went on walks. I do not have a craving.

I have been wondering for some time whether this is normal? I also drink a lot of alcohol at parties and I never feel the urge to drink at other times.",2.0620491345616965,3.949124989949748,3.782973199329984,87.63170156337246,77.99497487437186,7.035287548855388,26.130932439977666,7.984000788550335,1.547257733109995,759,30,161,13,18,254,112,199,0.047,0.848,0.105,0.8811,1,1,10,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,0,11,0,21,5,0,1,1,27,31,20,0,1,4,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,9,9,3,4,5,3,1,4,4,0,0,2,15,3,22,2,22,15,4,38,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,4,26,115,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15347082121238972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504508504948185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11258159872290124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10825101823254236,0.0,0.08581809258732429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16101464928332626,0.0,0.1446196900921752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758213237762249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14236504871924055,0.0,0.13517073747919675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11807946263840377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244911603371758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147543709948667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11968599789858915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10857810253682508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13793436694514288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11645455036087847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13923487575984714,0.0,0.0,0.1500525934635091,0.0,0.4707930480222339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11176347915269164,0.2462695957139283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375214616622544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4517004300456593,0.0,0.0,0.26100867093364954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526697468595381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065761060214647
addiction,ShadowStrike2,2020/04/17,14 M addicted to masturbation. I masturbater 3 times in the last 24 hours and am unable to stop. Just please tell me how to control this.,1.91,4.431124444444446,3.653333333333337,84.90000000000002,82.33333333333334,8.044444444444443,23.814814814814817,8.841846274778883,2.036837037037037,108,4,22,3,3,36,25,27,0.083,0.83,0.087,0.0258,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,5,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,12,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4094560017405659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42126379984429935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3698872345664339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.306161559302443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4122925467118579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31401578092760585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.328288198043182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21901354106424786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,heyijustwanthugs,2020/04/17,"People who struggle with addiction, would any of you be willing to tell me how addiction feels? I’m a film major writing a short film script about addiction and want to make sure I write as accurately as possible. Thank you to anyone whos willing to share I wish you the best.",6.846111111111113,6.619292870370373,7.163333333333334,75.765,64.74074074074075,10.903703703703703,34.66666666666667,10.504223727775694,3.5446000000000013,221,9,42,5,3,72,40,54,0.039,0.701,0.26,0.8979,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,3,0,1,2,5,0,1,3,0,4,3,0,2,1,11,11,4,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,6,4,9,7,2,1,0,0,0,0,9,1,0,0,0,26,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7141978470220713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14850558596923594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526960624491994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291758700480968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11041926459076153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14577004872246296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15139688690222486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461901361566293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22829772619418184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20582014619270106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908733565580616,0.201054554046066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288059195713611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511257109160429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551305702723602,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Hi_Im_Frost_Legend,2020/04/17,Coke I was just wondering if anyone else here has a addiction to coke (the drink). I have ARFID (shitty eating disorder that is literal hell)  and i cant stop. I've tried cutting it out but it always finds a way to creep back into my life. It seems as though it is a crave now just as much as it is enjoyable,3.940846153846156,3.9077408923076935,5.452115384615387,84.91663461538462,70.84615384615384,9.576923076923078,25.48076923076923,9.516144504307137,1.8110769230769224,238,6,54,5,4,81,49,65,0.05,0.863,0.086,0.4929,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,6,3,2,0,4,0,7,6,0,0,0,11,9,7,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,3,4,1,3,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,4,1,7,8,1,6,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,3,3,38,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846854239796874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2172926649751737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18259790389861996,0.2675728111961583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20080355847653653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29929356190845485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25582162746495457,0.0,0.2672154294004157,0.21815223965075967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23868081595823865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18445367680714447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919708321015662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377356209713001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21832801412037875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565725799064276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17729958278793398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20728389200708072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831994464500225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,gacha_mind,2020/04/17,how to get rid of disgusting thought and masturbation addiction Sorry if this doesn't fit here..I'm f13 and have been addicted to watching porn since age 12 and masturbation since i can remember (like 6) i obviously didn't know it was masturbating just something that felt good and made me less stressed.... now i can't stop it takes away most of my free time and i don't have enough clothes to change after every time i do it (my clothes get all sweaty). I can't talk about this with my parents cos they are religious also they would take my phone away. What to do...? After it i get disgusting thought and dreams like rapeing my younger sisters or something and i often found myself close to doing it irl..(like taking her shirt of at night when she was asleep and yeah).... please help and don't judge me i really don't want to hurt her...,2.1378726287262846,4.686332109756101,2.7133333333333347,91.83722222222224,81.5609756097561,6.327371273712737,22.52574525745257,7.594959193182576,0.9345363143631435,662,22,138,11,18,205,104,164,0.071,0.8009999999999999,0.128,0.863,1,0,2,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,2,0,7,9,3,1,0,1,18,6,2,3,2,30,31,14,0,3,3,2,1,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,9,11,0,1,6,1,1,0,7,5,0,0,9,2,22,5,16,21,4,14,0,1,1,2,10,5,0,4,11,86,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3260932571134082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11960612424097007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2810402443060172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15821867875912024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15453939590698645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12601395994803818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436047116409587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16398899708970882,0.0,0.0,0.2344227519821725,0.0,0.0,0.12544702721265422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10024946868696258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16011115118072386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08219635814578803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14613864490349154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14152089263723208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14035550327389842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16607291051592382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16417614941450726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958144060215139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16942664018595696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474414571633931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302830548123591,0.0,0.16742443951348127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12504204157761226,0.1713248382006742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3373601133862905,0.1202137245185088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23747391624881375,0.17442371989660865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08821660977482923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10624583891334052,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,kaytiejay25,2020/04/17,"I am addicted to alot of things  things I am addcited to 

1. my computer ( most my day spent on it)
2. addicted to eating 
3. I am addicted to porn 
4. Addicted to being depressed cause honestly  something goes bad I  just want to die 
5. I am addicted to gaming 
6. addicted to getting in the middle of other people's issue's 
7. addcited to feeling alone ( I push everyone away ) 
8.  addicted to attention 

Question is where the heck do I start  even though I am not addicted to  drugs , smoking , alcohol. what would I  do .. further more it say's behave like I would in real life...  that defeat's the purpose of me even writing this or opening up",0.3226736842105282,2.750945360000003,3.684589473684209,80.36376842105264,95.4,7.43157894736842,26.578947368421048,8.20500826718156,2.7866,490,25,90,15,19,177,80,125,0.102,0.8320000000000001,0.066,-0.7506,0,1,3,0,0,1,20.0,0,0,0,1,6,5,0,0,4,0,11,13,0,1,0,15,16,2,1,3,3,0,1,1,0,2,11,1,0,0,8,1,2,0,3,1,1,1,1,3,0,0,1,2,13,2,19,12,3,12,0,2,0,1,4,9,1,4,3,64,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8703630410352144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066545245608822,0.0,0.10336141846400423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376422095198204,0.0,0.08332779667636851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025208181821098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06436194457467717,0.0,0.08595652644604537,0.0,0.1035753575247784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115734878525909,0.102119047092955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318322805762714,0.0,0.0,0.0953619927325079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05046125208099226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05214073347942337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10416397774987723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07049081615759492,0.04875663349991205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06918789490733336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117974521226054,0.0,0.0,0.1135928385270282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793639802222494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682996179512334,0.0,0.0,0.07063807656021373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13260372433887682,0.0,0.09805177578635987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05886389482038155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14178835262115316,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,thr0w4w4yzfordayz,2020/04/17,"Nicotine and weed use a problem, starting to need harder drugs to feel anything :/ I’m 18M in the us and like a lot of people my age I vape, I have been for two years now and it never seemed like a serious problem until recently. I don’t eat until the hunger start to hurt my stomach and I don’t feel the effects of nicotine at all anymore yet I still crave the drug. I also get massive headaches for hours everyday.  I’ve been smoking weed about a year but I now use multiple times a day every day and can barely feel effects anymore. I have very bad anxiety and depression, I used to take anti depressants and they made me feel awful. At some point I figured out if I smoked whenever I felt stressed or like I was going to freak out I’d feel way better. About 9 months ago my depression was bad, rarely left my bed room, slept through the day, so my parents gave me an ambien once to help me sleep just a couple hours earlier to get back to a normalish sleep schedule. I didn’t fall asleep, I stayed awake through the effects and it felt amazing. I managed to steal more, and had used it and eventually forgot about it. 

A while back I stole some more, and now that I can’t really feel the effects of the drugs I use I feel like I almost crave how I felt on ambien. I have held onto the two I stole for almost two months just thinking about using them, unable to get rid of them with my own self will. Every high I’ve felt I feel I always crave it again, whether it’s being drunk, high, buzzed, or whatever, I always want more and I want it stronger. 

I’ve never had a serious problem with a hard drug but I feel I might fall into it, and my current use of nicotine and weed is already really unhealthy. I’d ultimately like to quit nicotine because I realize even when I take a break for a day to feel the effects, it still takes a ton of holding in big hits to feel anything, to the point where it makes me so sick I cannot even stand. I do like weed and understand healthy use is fine but I need to learn what that’s like. I don’t know what to do, I know quitting nicotine is a nearly impossible task, I will always crave it and it’s way too easy for me to get. Eventually I’ll run out of weed (quarantine) and I’m afraid I’ll end up taking the ambien as the only thing stopping me now is that it’s in my car. 

I don’t know what to do or how to go about not ruining my own life by continuing to believe it isn’t a big deal, because I fear it’ll become one.",2.915073071027084,3.9484719825242753,4.3596039856923845,87.94509836484416,73.83495145631069,7.5181400102197244,26.17399080224834,7.94452939551167,1.3629611650485436,1921,65,422,27,38,640,222,515,0.15,0.75,0.1,-0.9851,2,1,5,0,0,0,43.0,1,0,3,8,27,27,0,3,29,1,30,14,5,17,3,95,84,35,0,8,11,1,16,7,0,4,6,0,2,1,22,23,3,4,29,1,0,6,11,17,0,4,16,16,59,10,58,62,10,71,0,5,0,0,9,22,0,11,45,262,81,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05338989082693328,0.0,0.12062245342495323,0.0,0.06646484197444584,0.0481655753520381,0.15034751255361828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046075465744578284,0.0,0.11946312330488945,0.0,0.0,0.09912762898249156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926256623597538,0.10057837116545612,0.07343078890284266,0.06651884185551338,0.0,0.06785811437940661,0.0,0.053268171201918485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666428874334844,0.0,0.15537239213234197,0.06209405486882447,0.15562695341437294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793887762177933,0.06162989921279615,0.0,0.0,0.05334553299354597,0.0,0.0,0.07956214238380982,0.0,0.10149204184658092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0677750251150718,0.3349927526036776,0.043028025760948566,0.2313193777775137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12586988385401085,0.0,0.06845971943376394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053953875609944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04037061955385804,0.1272717214555983,0.0,0.0,0.11862801284233432,0.0,0.06447701374688547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09930181018050067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06543961759815367,0.0,0.042541935308756176,0.2059759218154205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05120503719757278,0.0,0.05699068723666061,0.0402037139983861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06389406901343797,0.0,0.0,0.09614935622985256,0.0,0.0,0.08931894449110901,0.0929055340951548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06414253966444379,0.04081312384494719,0.04580731152794916,0.0,0.0,0.0668778236578543,0.0,0.0,0.041755608882670964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11387284673760956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17289472876295403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281231495549875,0.0,0.0,0.07716922561159603,0.0,0.05946944655189487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054830749828437636,0.0628325901145765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12054615913614805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526161696414973,0.06419672112690654,0.096198844746756,0.050354627858730766,0.06899278324080725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18114060145551736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040013858329521056,0.03859268449174292,0.0,0.0,0.03512035389984288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17650665115848085,0.06270111947606613,0.07244877185525639,0.4161521693966424,0.0,0.049695713301384885,0.0710499364873729,0.0956148782388584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07757175283042361
addiction,shadowsofme,2020/04/17,"Am I an alcoholic? I usually have 2-3 beers a night. I never drink much more than the people around me, but I’m definitely the heaviest drinker in most of my circles, even with that little amount. That said, I almost never get drunk, just because I don’t usually enjoy the feeling. But when I mentioned this to a friend, he became concerned and thought I may have a problem. Which, to be fair, I might. It is hard to not have that beer if I don’t have some reason not to. If I have a reason, it’s easy, but without a reason.... yeah. 

Do you think I might have a problem?",1.97179487179487,3.581608273504276,3.6977863247863247,89.39026923076928,77.37606837606837,6.389401709401709,24.52051282051282,7.1686216300943375,0.9438041025641026,436,15,94,5,10,146,75,117,0.09300000000000001,0.71,0.196,0.9215,0,0,5,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,0,10,1,15,5,0,3,2,28,21,7,0,4,9,0,2,0,1,3,1,1,0,0,7,3,5,0,6,4,0,0,7,2,0,0,2,3,14,2,10,15,5,9,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,8,6,73,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749299538883789,0.1639073223942871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14571474363689846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09978112406620317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16034941408080758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10811268840752608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276427592754369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12646296378372865,0.0,0.08551888577455714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14663000184327055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16405581113380968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34728876661041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203276312215165,0.0,0.2524886021924964,0.0,0.0,0.15360769572260394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347887317115167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132497169802482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5048876777992253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15570233564843394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048830196939192,0.0,0.12994795436705406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3605527705144657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15778692163281152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,mistydaydreamz,2020/04/17,"Hey guys! I have a question for drug users who wanna help me with a school project! So I'm currently doing a school project and I need to mark down social consequences of specific drugs. Stuff like how doing/getting addicted to [drug] affected your social life and relationships with people around you! 

The drug I need info on is:

Crystal meth

Thanks! Xoxo

Omg, thank you guys for so many responses! I really truly appreciate it!",3.5548717948717936,6.5661642307692345,4.279743589743589,79.81525641025644,79.76923076923076,8.082051282051282,25.333333333333336,8.841846274778883,2.5368871794871795,342,13,58,9,9,109,58,78,0.019,0.722,0.26,0.9654,1,0,5,0,0,0,12.0,0,3,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,0,3,6,0,2,0,12,8,5,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,6,0,0,2,3,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,3,11,8,0,4,0,0,0,0,12,3,0,1,2,34,11,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15676189688577788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12801140228242242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6670437318932995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07512892804389648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2847668025832273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963852918166548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156933171930617,0.07025282088375476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14578939391446671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21324994822152551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09969196885297067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16108754471827327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09212118134471556,0.0,0.0,0.15438607569952312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29106408702794057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931694966282179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646152007915095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647811953049316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,megamolly666,2020/04/17,"thieves Didn’t know where else to put this but I’m really angry so who cares. My brother is a heroin addict who is 26 and living with my mom and I. He’s been the same for about 7 years now, just recently found out I was pregnant and had 300$ put away to start saving for the baby. Literally just hid it away LAST night and of course it’s gone and my brother has been gone all day. If any of you are thieves and hurt your family fucking quit. It’s the worse feeling in the world knowing your family decides drugs are more important than you. And I don’t want to hear “it’s the drugs, not him” because you absolutely know stealing from your younger sister is a disgusting act.",2.4561990407673875,4.23367854676259,3.6138309352518014,89.78439148681056,76.4820143884892,6.9354916067146295,23.813549160671464,7.793537801064563,1.0562657074340531,534,17,115,8,12,173,95,139,0.22699999999999998,0.7090000000000001,0.064,-0.9833,0,0,2,0,0,0,10.0,0,6,0,1,6,6,2,0,7,0,12,4,0,0,1,24,25,10,0,2,5,4,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,7,9,0,0,6,0,0,5,3,4,0,0,8,2,13,2,15,17,3,18,0,1,0,1,15,6,1,1,7,72,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18008375224400194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233628018641066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104067969648158,0.0,0.0,0.10069955970432308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16842433669713944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10653522665155912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3831407393523495,0.0,0.13799678721712366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3114567856844261,0.0,0.08352607993893779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18112459106981768,0.0,0.1527174175974116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18618348179207425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17684153996906338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27235574375346466,0.1346535944220747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14586763453872986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193470969487231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15502157819147164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3321273367949747,0.0,0.17570211270900452,0.0,0.0,0.10582627747732752,0.0,0.1631072516886376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11692380561685818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743456972476564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16834484393556598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637828453472924
addiction,college8567,2020/04/17,"Seeking Positive Coping Mechanisms I am a senior in college, and I have been smoking weed heavily for the last four years; often 3 or 4 times per day. After my supply ran out on Sunday (96 hours ago), I decided that it was time to quit. I have had multiple cravings every day and it’s been very hard not to give in. All I want to do is call my dealer and pick up another bag. I’ve had a lack of motivation, increased agitation, headaches, and an overall feeling of lethargy. My cravings are particularly strong today, and I thought posting here would help me cope. If anyone has any advice, I’d love to hear from you.",6.013931523022432,5.958345363636365,7.1448170011806384,74.62553719008267,66.43801652892563,9.889492325855961,34.64108618654073,9.606745405546679,3.24616316410862,483,21,91,9,7,164,96,121,0.067,0.763,0.17,0.9186,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,3,2,2,0,0,4,0,13,1,0,2,1,19,20,7,0,4,3,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,7,3,11,2,14,12,3,20,0,0,0,1,6,5,0,3,12,58,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2172070979227324,0.19703568070755054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15115639004762196,0.2330774440694844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15542166595059004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269702814611649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28670132653195896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872784645361386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11239023312369067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21322892782600575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991170695979949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250523009552096,0.0,0.1489879896957428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188986613321756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18118591078503246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20061421206323946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21288049734830589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364195880152199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764635855456021,0.25922371183627696,0.0,0.2106931743170063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18340229857982807,0.13110508734132467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15789962940017985,0.0,0.0,0.14313948657589262
addiction,MissMaddog313,2020/04/18,"Gabapentin for fent withdrawals. I hope this helps a lot of people. They totally worked for me. Subs don't help me at all. I've ""quit"" a million times over the years with subs. I only made it 2 weeks tops bc I was non-functional. Zero energy or appetite. Tried gabapentin for a different reason while still chipping daily, and holy shit what a difference! I can't believe I never knew about it before. I've read countless threads about withdrawal tips on here and blue light. Never heard of it on any. I've detoxed with kratom, imodium, somas, catapress, Xanax, copious amounts of weed, water, and good diet. Gabapentin is a total game changer. I feel great. High even. The only thing it doesn't help are cravings. This has changed my life and saved me a ton of money. Has anyone else taken gabapentin for withdrawals?",2.3565131578947347,5.256816361842108,2.5121578947368413,90.5881052631579,86.03947368421049,5.40842105263158,24.047368421052628,6.961326702584282,1.1361147368421056,645,25,118,9,20,195,107,152,0.054000000000000006,0.7979999999999999,0.14800000000000002,0.9243,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,1,3,5,5,1,0,8,0,8,6,1,2,5,19,14,6,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,8,6,2,0,3,2,1,0,5,1,0,2,5,4,11,4,16,9,6,13,0,0,1,0,6,6,1,3,7,69,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167336610968703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12002760898478206,0.17588441089138987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14606873359225428,0.19340033776681648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18159192361323828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35869317734232964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433986434723457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11337881512921966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08679569140230048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14397899895112734,0.0,0.18925409362635928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.345177206689724,0.1813666216839854,0.0,0.17049561512856906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124746956517846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14593791147810514,0.0,0.16242741582100445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26478722314545017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26110803704807045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900638465159577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825799362854297,0.1717049453969701,0.0,0.0,0.17649351963339785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17620497541482594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370866935881607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11404227463519725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10009544722599964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165448482248211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13769408813903225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12496942674334105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11054244091345407
addiction,littlebay2208,2020/04/18,"Tramadol cold turkey? Hi, guys, my name is Mila, I been taking tramadol mixed with tylenol knows as tramacets for 4 years, I stopped to taking 2 days ago with the cold turkey method, is anything I can do for rest the abstinence symthoms? 
I feel like sh##.
But I don't want have this addiction anymore.
Thanks.",2.283719211822657,5.06011205172414,2.289704433497537,93.40431034482759,83.65517241379311,4.693596059113301,25.52709359605912,6.1826913282559595,0.8203714285714292,241,10,46,2,7,72,45,58,0.057,0.838,0.105,0.5629,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,7,2,0,0,0,8,13,2,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,6,2,6,12,1,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,24,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3300684309637801,0.0,0.0,0.2683909475854016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30027052283403816,0.0,0.0,0.2491572642538893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19526422936593385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15309166877334826,0.2163018584200652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997939345799846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16639671242684914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479201184760871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531326825545281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4552968447568975,0.0,0.0,0.2787536876601227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1785839930029311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19497657632889592
addiction,candy_kid_throwaway,2020/04/18,"I eat permanent marker ink reservoir ^(Hello)

^(Throwaway for obviously reasons and this is my first time posting on reddit, so sorry for any mistakes)

^(Yep so the title kind of says it all)

^(I eat basically everything in a marker pen expect the plastic and metal casting. The pen i eat is Pentel N60 Chisel Marker in black)

^(I know this is so bad and really risky but the smell is intoxicating and taste is so powerful. I do understand i am addicted to it and i need to detox from it)

^(Sorry i know this isnt a normal addiction but any advice would mean the world)

^(Thank you)",1.9162162162162168,4.7267799009009055,3.9860900900900913,79.66454054054056,87.82882882882882,6.923963963963965,24.51711711711712,8.021203637495839,2.1431809009009006,463,19,80,11,15,157,73,111,0.052000000000000005,0.903,0.045,0.3097,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,2,4,4,0,0,7,1,9,8,0,1,2,19,15,11,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,6,5,4,0,5,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,4,10,2,9,14,1,7,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,0,2,54,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3685130286702293,0.0,0.16516417812401984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22987850000454715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14112446084154542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5188483088764801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15190408465205998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14376814311102262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17600809702090967,0.18577770760487006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18411209614035906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12532602922657918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16560350338622484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16187423302194834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10827840252136063,0.17378048958894662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13441131730152134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3784076237864148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15561070986503914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09855679608344783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17595555739642454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12006680612824773,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,palmtrees007,2020/04/18,"My ex has been addicted to drugs most of his life. I found out he is being accused of a homicide and other serious charges and I’m devastated and wish I could have saved him I don’t know if this is the right place for this. But I need some support.. 

I dated a guy I met 15 years ago, for about 8 years. We split a while ago. It didn’t end well (cheating, abuse etc) and that was that. The way things ended and how he acted made me worried he was on drugs (he had always used something like weed or coke) but something was different. He seemed in deep. I could tell because he didn’t have a conscious. He was cold. 

Anyways we didn’t talk for a long time. He jumped into another relationship overlapping ours and he had a kid so I let him be. He ends up splitting from her and we see each other once. He seems in DEEP. He’s been using heroine and meth. He’s skinny, manic, broke etc all things he never was before. 

He moved out of state and that’s when things got bad. He moved to Vegas and I have only heard from him once when he asked me to check on a family friend for him and I found out that person was giving him money so he wanted to make sure they were alive. I found this out when I went to check on them and they told me they had been giving him money. I was so angry he used me for that. That was it after that. 

I did get a call about him last year from the highway patrol from our state but I told them I didn’t have his phone number any longer. Which was true. 

I had a bad dream about him the other day. We were in a casino but I had an unsettling feeling about him. 

A few days after my dream I found out he’s being accused of a homicide and it happened outside a casino (weird). It looks like a set up and there is a lot of mounting evidence (and witnesses). Along with that he has serious drug charges against him (heroine possession and distributing) and weapon charges... 

I just can’t believe this. I’m so sad. I feel I’m grieving him. The addict part is what I can’t get over. I tried to help him so many times and he never wanted help. Ever. He wanted to live this rotten life and keep pushing the envelope and be above the law 

He has a child he hasn’t seen in years to or even called, and he’s probably facing a long time in jail if not life. 

I just wish I could have done more :( but I always felt pushed away. Especially after we broke up..",0.6565417735083656,2.784596070993917,2.2073098855677635,95.80494393202957,84.23326572008114,5.100065061808718,18.023996325921388,6.364525929208738,-0.2672295992958018,1825,43,414,17,53,592,222,493,0.12300000000000001,0.7709999999999999,0.107,-0.9052,1,0,6,0,1,0,58.0,7,0,5,0,22,20,2,0,25,0,49,11,2,6,6,86,90,40,1,11,12,1,3,2,1,0,8,1,0,4,25,35,2,1,11,4,6,7,11,12,1,0,38,9,59,8,51,44,10,63,0,4,3,0,74,24,0,10,30,269,84,0,0.0,0.0903364902190864,0.0,0.16623409266762462,0.0,0.0,0.13517113866899658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12688197555226938,0.0,0.0,0.051848429904830615,0.07994832052701471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127770400123645,0.0,0.07163360326559996,0.0,0.1273208536797507,0.04647754095215713,0.0,0.0648778974614754,0.08590070560668972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15570698301423244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18262352143266475,0.0,0.0,0.09834194656032068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965859156658185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07802392592438985,0.0,0.0,0.2652559671955165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20258825198808675,0.0,0.1700640852481683,0.05035834131889228,0.06896692389846894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07187591263546356,0.0,0.07710235898416687,0.0,0.07320604894975942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3343897678841099,0.058905806415747136,0.0,0.07966852554462453,0.1462800893112858,0.0,0.0,0.06097916878574485,0.0,0.0,0.07549339474339138,0.06742218136420422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022092858656871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06776903366423488,0.0,0.0,0.04190162390323883,0.062148910754755364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796449838194447,0.16155985003343942,0.0744977840212116,0.0,0.06732471301537436,0.13494680920353866,0.06402562827494143,0.0,0.0,0.06481979150341903,0.0,0.07214377074003987,0.050893359358051685,0.07729929306607226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16207028464117093,0.0,0.05653384584879846,0.11760790889235367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16239441567073462,0.0,0.05798688068748387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256465548771329,0.0,0.0,0.06657318560870497,0.07965859156658185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220376162083097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08185735731791151,0.0,0.06511182803528717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06075647406916184,0.13881906805934036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739247542965332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08652061309715556,0.07185892270129772,0.0,0.0,0.061281915481558764,0.0666404821314299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15195907059842034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13337519950607604,0.0,0.0,0.1457085247370809,0.0,0.05176456676827183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19755060974204705,0.0,0.0,0.1349117876334923,0.06051881622655459,0.0,0.0,0.06855237421981512,0.07067880924901034,0.0,0.0,0.1753533206815331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742932674453615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19639414870930544
addiction,Caffeine_cult,2020/04/18,This definitely is not as serious as other addictions but I think it counts. Since was like 11 I would drink tons of coffee like 5+ cups a day and it makes me feel good. Before the whole quarantine after school I would sneak away and just drink a few energy drinks and coffee because I like the buzz and not feeling tired all the time. But my moms against that and I have never wanted and energy drink so bad but I’m trying to be a good person and not leave my home. Again definitely not as serious as some other addictions sharing my problems tho helps me clear my head.,3.068684210526317,5.071646921052633,4.175298245614034,85.4324210526316,75.40350877192982,7.717894736842108,21.92631578947368,8.548686976883017,1.3137115789473683,455,12,91,9,10,148,74,114,0.073,0.604,0.32299999999999995,0.985,0,1,4,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,10,0,0,6,0,6,8,1,1,3,27,12,16,0,4,8,1,2,3,0,2,3,0,1,1,6,7,4,0,3,4,0,0,5,4,0,0,1,2,11,6,9,8,5,6,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,8,62,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3258953200954217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14043482712362873,0.0,0.12480373219153088,0.09111736854206244,0.0,0.1271905348718116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639773538260596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5857066372036785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15115610497238818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507417629569012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15340244638393508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10018861774799412,0.0,0.14993363113100794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15827035103169734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21907490918727252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977440471183087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750610000750713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528281142322933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13051407978687316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14302549793309882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15127468105238615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12364563070234952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09577627881716924,0.0,0.0,0.08715892277430681,0.17179725360427284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014823721526066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08816306272258326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16688129416758582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21236269641373096,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,EskimoTaco,2020/04/18,"I have PCP overdose questions and need information. Urgent! Please help! I have a family member who is currently in the hospital, in the ICU. The doctors said that the only thing that was positive on the toxicology was PCP and that all the signs and symptoms are matching up to a PCP overdose. 
This person is someone who I have known my entire life and has never even smoked pot. In fact, they have been adamant their entire life that they would never do or try any illegal drug. They have never shown any signs of taking any drugs before and I fully believe that they wouldn't even know how to get their hands on it, if they wanted it.
This person has been quarantined and not left their house in over a month because of Covid-19. No one has entered the house and they have not left.
On Wednesday, this person was found by the neighbor, outside and disoriented. They were taken to the hospital, had a seizure on the way, and has followed the symptoms of a PCP overdose to a ""T"". 
Are their ways that someone could unknowingly take the drug? 
How likely is it that it could have been in something they ate or drank and didn't know about it? 
Are their any other medications that can present in the same way if overdosed? 
Will this person be the same person I have known my whole life when they come out of the overdose? 
I and my family are desperate for answers. Please send me a chat or a message if you are familiar with the drug, it's effects, or any information that can help.",5.4731634740561645,6.500918611307423,5.438028640505859,82.60376790031619,67.8339222614841,8.219378835782036,29.382369350939182,8.371475516178862,2.0001703180212007,1169,41,224,16,19,365,134,283,0.037000000000000005,0.903,0.06,0.7464,2,1,6,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,14,1,6,1,0,0,24,0,38,14,1,3,5,51,52,21,0,9,9,0,1,1,1,3,11,1,1,5,23,14,2,0,10,1,0,4,8,0,0,1,14,2,25,1,25,32,4,30,0,0,0,0,32,15,0,9,9,169,48,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31342114830010737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0561908789991466,0.0,0.07843672473398372,0.1038530880894806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940322140972114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14719333230623005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434813217641387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42758905774375866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217654551285493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17379450922371212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010684655469959,0.0,0.0,0.04815922257512039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12356999740110933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21272216942612765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131728272966492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20030342526067724,0.0,0.19532423184122708,0.04503353535796488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928596799601972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357563390617934,0.0,0.0,0.0683488503558363,0.21328016637268504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06246222702531344,0.07010555484427218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4024315551652319,0.0,0.20236761972099254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10326050327290986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08768242675338883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562043121643253,0.07096316034736112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916165605109046,0.1386128321688995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061238995393554076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06258283997239332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05436899757867737,0.21949991824600326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10291349232131314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06548063650788986,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,1selfconscience1,2020/04/18,"Hello I recently made a community for people who have addictive personality. I am looking for more people who struggled with multiple addictions as myself, so not only gambling for example.

## r/addictiveness i hope there are people who i can talk to, so we can exchange our experiences.. trolls are welcome, try to hurt me if that makes u feel better. thank you",4.33642857142857,7.422416750000004,6.228839285714287,66.68937500000001,76.8125,9.282142857142855,31.017857142857146,9.606745405546679,4.0149357142857145,288,14,43,9,7,99,51,64,0.087,0.75,0.163,0.6412,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,2,1,0,1,3,6,0,1,1,0,6,2,0,2,0,8,12,4,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,9,4,7,11,1,1,0,1,1,0,10,0,0,2,1,33,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6346124512520952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17161686455558808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18981305734799736,0.0,0.0,0.09811488575550316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927302787717688,0.0,0.0,0.20772898121851627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16294876801137004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18360988995378935,0.12952641669898612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14757982113462434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4035787138377692,0.1694324424423724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19159583901248614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20285776586903104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559658670777181,0.0,0.17865038925919324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13174368778249865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,dxca164,2020/04/18,"Healing the lungs/body So fingers crossed I think I've finally quit smoking (7 years average 5 a day). My question is what can I do to help repair all the damage to my lungs and skin ect

Many thanks",1.6159756097560989,3.6847480975609774,3.085548780487805,91.19710365853659,80.21951219512195,6.051219512195122,27.32317073170732,7.1686216300943375,1.3651414634146342,156,7,33,2,4,51,35,41,0.078,0.784,0.13699999999999998,0.34,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,0,3,4,3,0,1,4,5,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,1,2,5,1,4,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,16,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3835733725391968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22270323843896966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3782818706045642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314611389846859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35010091821394096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38683813550788393,0.3672909959523845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31792484046002584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22126751602160585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22237516369070084
addiction,neepnooop,2020/04/18,"Aging mother is stuck at home with my older brother and his girlfriend while they relapse. Just need some advice. My older brother has been an opiate addict for about 15 years. He's turning 30 next month. He's been with his girlfriend for the majority of their addiction, probably almost 10 years now. In the last 6ish years i've had to help my mom kick him out of her home. The two of them had an apartment for a short while before my brother got picked up by the police. My mother and I went to his apartment to make sure it was locked up and we found a younger couple staying there and had to kick them out. They were clearly using, the apartment was a mess. He relapsed about a year ago on my mothers birthday, I told him I would drive him down to the nearest inpatient program. He refused.

I moved out of my moms, moved to a town an hour away. My brother and his girlfriend soon moved back in with my mom. Things were mostly okay and they were seriously working on finding jobs and a home, then he relapsed again. She gave him a chance and he didn't improve, so she told them they had to leave. They did. They found jobs though and have been working at them for about 2 months now.

Then this pandemic happened. They didnt have reliable housing and their job told them they could keep working from home if they found something reliable. So my mom allowed them to move back in, save a bit of money, and find a place in a few weeks. Things were good for a time.

I just got off the phone with her and its maybe the worst its ever been. My mom has put up with a lot of gaslighting and manipulation from the two of them. She's been out of work so they've contributed some more of their pay to help her while she waits for unemployment. They seem to be holding that above her head. They havent been leaving the house except for the store across the street so it seems like my brother is abusing his medication that he's been given multiple weeks of on account of the pandemic.

My moms had to turn off the breaker to the stove as she's found them passed out with it on in the middle of the night. His girlfriend's stumbled into my mom's room in the middle of the night in confusion. My mom doesn't feel safe.

I realize this stuff needs to be handled with as much compassion as we can summon. A week or two before the pandemic hit I wrote my brother a long letter, saying that I worry every day about having to take care of this family on my own if he fell deeper or even died. I tried to be as compassionate, but honest as I could, and I felt like it would be my last attempt for now to reach him. He hasn't said anything about and told my mom that I hate him after he read it. We're a poor family, my mother's has a disability that I am sure has been exacerbated with this decade and a half of stress and heartbreak. I wish I could just throw some money around to get him in treatment for as long as he needed so he could at least get a glimpse of life outside of his addiction. But we just cant. I just need him to leave our mom be before he overdoses in her home (he's been drinking with his pills as well) or she has a heart attack from the stress.

So I considered driving there today or tomorrow, and calmly telling them they had to leave. But my mom is worried that they would try to file a civil suit against her evicting them. That's fair considering they have, at multiple points, tried to claim squatters rights other times she's tried kicking them out (they eventually left every time and didnt actually bring it to court). So instead I suggested talking to him over the phone today, whenever he wakes up and hopefully before he starts using.

But I dont really know what to say. I want to say that either he's going to die or she is if this continues like this. I want to tell him how ungrateful it is to be given yet another chance at having a home at least and a way to keep his job, only to fall back into this and treat his mother this way.

I know only I know what I'll be able to say. You don't know the entire picture even if i sat here writing for hours. I just need some advice, thoughts anyone might have. I'm worried about turning my brother out onto the street in this climate. But I feel we've exhausted ever chance to get him clean at home, and I want my mom to be okay and safe and comfortable without having to worry about my brother going through withdrawals and whatever else.

At the very least I wanted to get these thoughts out. Even if you don't have advice I'd appreciate hearing from anyone who's felt any of this, on any side.

thanks.",5.054256814675128,5.344808148751358,5.3943151037202135,85.16698439910854,68.48968512486428,8.287262129264532,28.101434367678145,8.032893268588372,1.5881200868621073,3599,110,752,42,57,1146,351,921,0.085,0.828,0.087,0.0583,8,0,2,0,0,0,76.0,4,2,29,5,42,30,2,3,50,2,68,11,3,7,5,141,134,63,2,23,24,25,4,3,4,4,7,6,10,0,35,49,1,7,19,2,6,15,11,10,1,4,47,10,122,20,143,70,17,128,0,1,0,0,141,62,0,22,51,517,157,12,0.039786012583229946,0.04713991905420475,0.03882540907991958,0.13011787905523495,0.0,0.1166352930909802,0.0352678996043999,0.0,0.039839944524494256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054111705754203085,0.041719103199858686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0556386101381275,0.0,0.03274049836802715,0.0354179863235767,0.0,0.04526233300868916,0.037380268497391164,0.0917789634975307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13541986532015066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043436021253971016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04056449142734266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12706357452160205,0.044022466181290285,0.0,0.02565868670148413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08258319932018075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04662891043678544,0.03897514563838176,0.0,0.0,0.033236108283660616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883485824120626,0.0719774523474774,0.06704286311604676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750134235980529,0.0,0.04023400679600392,0.0,0.07640162271969017,0.0,0.07272738943336232,0.0,0.0,0.17449323692322075,0.0,0.0,0.08314619787050267,0.0,0.04522261564013872,0.03337061972023165,0.06364101756845457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03518263953202589,0.0,0.0,0.039280450502312964,0.04083192717530208,0.0,0.0448417277406186,0.0471466164733093,0.05333545116277479,0.0,0.27936030201912965,0.03951648766743912,0.07836241622510215,0.09181543349749137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792591362561392,0.07072727208165862,0.0,0.0,0.08746140808650008,0.0648618208473894,0.0,0.16851057071571027,0.04322761908398103,0.0,0.02810203729971308,0.0583123082371352,0.0,0.0,0.07041873828671268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033824645136988185,0.0,0.0,0.02655747234275684,0.0,0.03997039724340976,0.0,0.0,0.04008022197679137,0.0,0.04220667201937346,0.0,0.5591627649856911,0.06351363132646624,0.16914493978121234,0.029247297085954388,0.14750412101865035,0.0,0.0,0.04231287574473686,0.07467295526190883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060518110791873185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041567915128356885,0.0,0.03761064186689885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04289605074714742,0.0,0.0,0.03999593161655813,0.0,0.0,0.03979677924327288,0.0,0.025487938439893814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0339770373589989,0.037845608871858435,0.1265577363992001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243938319528424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03062921625527895,0.0,0.0,0.028160744483893094,0.042406595716304576,0.0,0.0,0.09114948598237016,0.0,0.045545465687685034,0.0,0.0,0.07499569202315172,0.0,0.029914130032230087,0.031978489847029085,0.06954945727446603,0.03662961496726795,0.0,0.0,0.052864117775581865,0.0,0.03908955535840404,0.06317129970070684,0.0695986316637576,0.0,0.07542497574511392,0.15206896006155354,0.0,0.10804836368622824,0.1298272705483156,0.11659545948024005,0.0,0.0,0.06872468131658961,0.0,0.03282762710947757,0.09386728416652164,0.0631605698042345,0.09574181831694964,0.0,0.03577240342034975,0.036882032263657515,0.0,0.0,0.045751950971120406,0.03835229636306374,0.0,0.11585876403885717,0.1616185081491168,0.0,0.08478852546797774,0.0,0.0,0.10248355067175356
addiction,Reddituser8018,2020/04/18,"What the hell is happening to me? So about a year ago I went off benzos and when I did that I had decided to just go cold turkey, it was a bad idea and I would get these very weird muscle spasms in my legs almost to the point where I couldnt walk, and my legs were extremely tight feeling.

When I could sleep it would be for a very short period of time and I would have very weird strange vivid dreams. I ended up having a seizure and going to a rehab where it was actually pretty easy to get off of the benzos.

Anyways yesterday I had something scary happen too me, I had my legs spasm like they did when I was withdrawing and I had a full on anxiety attack. Couldnt sleep at all so I didnt actually fall asleep until 11 am the next day, and I just woke up at 8 pm. also had a weird dream however I slept for a long time which didnt happen when I was withdrawing

I still feel pretty off but a lot better then I was before, so I am wondering wtf is happening. Did I just fuck my brain up when I was doing benzos, is this just anxiety copying my withdrawals? Or is it something else?",3.6694860499265793,4.1316404713656425,5.023013215859031,86.00418208516888,71.59911894273128,8.520293685756242,24.38443465491924,8.648137234880735,1.3547646989720996,845,21,187,14,15,283,119,227,0.135,0.789,0.076,-0.919,1,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,1,19,9,3,0,13,0,33,10,8,0,1,28,48,20,0,6,6,0,3,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,9,7,0,1,5,2,0,5,4,7,0,0,20,5,29,2,21,21,3,38,1,0,1,1,1,15,2,4,19,136,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.24529479527320086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11140941484183058,0.0,0.12585226102467298,0.0,0.0,0.10050776434222748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922926081196907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429812971976655,0.0,0.0,0.1049391308329404,0.0,0.0,0.10694603394665504,0.0,0.0,0.11115542083683022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14030255797075875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034676464966567,0.0,0.0,0.08105442351507589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10499109436730952,0.0,0.11131685274468467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709708273428952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11619088477236696,0.13132720341985024,0.0,0.14285583214760875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4445603312724703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418795590282918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061401824431918675,0.0,0.0,0.11122452023544828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10685025091412856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13366411892609878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11881001276566247,0.0,0.0,0.2557273370649953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25154531771421984,0.0,0.0,0.19351212282790986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036972201757736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465722449106662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31110217233830706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165083738686546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13629665161634108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26784243217337983,0.0,0.0,0.08093501838303926
addiction,lostintimesince,2020/04/18,"nicotine withdrawals first time quitting nicotine since i started 4 years ago 
and i never thought it was gonna hit me this hard , is day 2 and i only think of smoking , i feel like i have butterflies in my stomach all day , im angry at everything, and i cant sleep , do you have any recommendation on this , i really feel the need to smoke and im scared tommorow is gonna be worse and imma end up smoking again like most do 

i used to think that it would be easy to stop smoking because i done a lot of drugs and tbh i dont have that addictive personality usually i can quit anything easily
but i never expected nicotine withdrawals to be this bad",2.8971408743927825,4.650675244274812,4.547675225537823,83.6694101318529,75.18320610687023,7.511727966689799,28.7029840388619,8.296473431620573,2.0526885496183205,511,22,103,9,11,172,84,131,0.121,0.821,0.059000000000000004,-0.8195,0,0,2,0,1,0,6.0,0,1,0,3,1,4,0,1,2,0,16,4,2,1,3,22,27,7,0,3,1,0,3,2,0,3,2,0,0,1,7,6,0,1,5,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,3,3,15,2,10,17,3,17,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,2,15,64,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718725606984504,0.0,0.0,0.13975598725116645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10721413727995036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297406628646519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163942968068038,0.09610801070014327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033551831414944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16134081438016387,0.1847762267001058,0.0,0.18283542840433886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13963987401884195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14169455068611472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15943516353166007,0.11263226289753775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13410542901301195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14123230137961815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3405994896282052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540493252691172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13403680762294112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169028169401118,0.2431940660949104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11990745713757428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13766254203100406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3353814173141781,0.0,0.0,0.1010009680083109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15784506226011866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304178971441836,0.0,0.15777375846318326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115924875374014,0.0,0.0,0.1318107345803358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020441936957644,0.0,0.12516434852431896,0.09193275460692353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361675318583975,0.1736401040319987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16066890570107173,0.111997068318651,0.0,0.0,0.1015278054675321
addiction,philmcdermott,2020/04/18,"15M poly substance addict here, I’m living a fucking lie. **to preface this, I’ve never experienced withdrawals. But I can see it snowballing.**     
    
From early January to now I’ve gone on multiple 3 week streaks with a 7 day b breaks in between of getting fucked up every night. My drugs of choice were 3hopce, o-dsmt, clonazolam, dxm, adderall, and weed. Drugs are my only hobby. Only 5 people know about the true extent of my drug use, 3 of which are my childgood best friends who also participate in this (I’m probably the third biggest fiend in my group.) The other two of the 5 are girls I’ve opened up to. If I continue going on like this, my life will inevitably end in an overdose. 
    
My brothers, who I love so much don’t know the full extent of my drug use (except weed) and I feel so bad about living a double life. My friends at school have no idea about this (except weed) I’m hiding something big from the majority of people in my life and I recognize it’s not healthy.      
     
I’m not looking for totally quitting, I just want to do one drug a week. I believe that once a week will have a benign effect on my cognition.     
     
I know you fuckrs will say “hurr durr jus quit altogether) but getting fucked up is fun and you can’t change my mind. Moderation is key.",1.9608764940239038,4.186017231075699,3.5104605577689263,87.77667091633468,79.87649402390437,6.087713147410359,23.98422310756972,7.24861992348623,1.0349230597609562,979,35,198,13,25,323,149,251,0.068,0.848,0.084,0.2399,0,0,6,0,0,0,38.0,0,2,0,4,9,12,3,0,13,0,15,13,0,3,3,27,36,10,0,2,8,1,1,1,2,3,9,1,0,1,11,6,0,0,6,0,0,2,6,4,0,3,2,5,22,8,33,31,8,29,0,0,2,4,11,16,3,1,11,119,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123382122114956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240794848513985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08604129784750368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11610051272522055,0.10814317474029693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090117818908662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06645783836937598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5975184483316863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127049563331846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682291133257261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052104481256372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592302246892888,0.2858003809783627,0.10767730717072134,0.0,0.05856490855938695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11632935493109495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16989848866176924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183588748452759,0.05034435317305372,0.0,0.18198764829597786,0.0,0.0865348918588648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930054076914939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10404973577180797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07575259658036397,0.0,0.07947745263852593,0.0,0.0,0.09670415421286033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10974342288532128,0.06982841547619391,0.15674624629925674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428818836116402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11110384722354397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21920979519316605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08194840297034416,0.0,0.10429071038708668,0.08211641267655569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933186631708054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066353344437698,0.0,0.0,0.17800185239646762,0.0,0.0,0.06078074914635199,0.0,0.24797817444530254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,djepicurus,2020/04/18,Finally... I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm tapering off slowly and medically my benzos. It's gonna take awhile but I'm so happy I've made this decision. I want to be sober badly and I will get there God willing. Thanks for listening and good luck to all those suffering out there. I believe there is hope because I see people have recovered. Recovery is life!,1.3882666666666663,3.9329323600000015,3.550666666666668,84.44866666666668,85.4,7.6,23.0,8.515128840125781,1.9558000000000004,297,11,58,8,9,101,56,75,0.174,0.547,0.27899999999999997,0.9194,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,1,1,13,19,7,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,6,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,5,5,6,13,1,3,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,2,1,32,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013035150226148,0.1469687343883206,0.0,0.0,0.2716305064218972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26410681774651856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12596172398545996,0.0,0.0,0.20221830453246933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256649167913929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394608552127992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17029190300625147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22812908046445846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24287695587858574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16714430235032654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19212079462278664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812727695019084,0.0,0.0,0.2219670685308648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5542044362695512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14220355521082412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Niapmaipleh,2020/04/18,"Is This A Relapse I just consumed 7grams of morning glory seeds. After a lot of research regarding the treatment of mental illness/addiction with psychedelics. I decided this was the best route to go with. My intent isn’t to get high. It’s to aid in spiritual experience. 

I haven’t had a drink or drug since August 21st 2019. I never want to return to that life. The thought of chronic pill popping and pot smoking makes me nauseous. My intent with this is purely medicinal and therapeutic. Any thoughts would be much appreciated.",3.712802249297095,6.727405247422682,4.515070290534208,78.39794751640116,79.0,6.8262417994376765,30.467666354264306,8.00094639256281,2.6434206185567013,427,21,70,8,11,137,73,97,0.013000000000000001,0.87,0.11699999999999999,0.8952,0,0,2,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,6,0,8,5,0,3,2,18,14,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,5,5,1,0,3,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,0,7,2,14,8,3,7,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,4,48,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27599347616066083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17216478489184794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26568707238666633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2480109422327437,0.2935976821755241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476495635161099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13227126248776794,0.0,0.14388276594526778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26748878699925976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788219809112925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21523670979824305,0.0,0.0,0.16899343494847366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551365596705772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18610962420382368,0.0,0.19526088227934624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094254524405377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4019785764549061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14932666196404187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17984522997420024,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Lordzoom345,2020/04/19,"What’s helping me Kinda bored so I thought I would ramble for a minute. The past few weeks have been a literal hell. Everything was pulled out from underneath me. Long story short my girl(6 years) left me. Addiction played a role among many other things.  Things are improving but it’s going to be a long road. 

With everything going on, this is a perfect storm to go balls deep. But I quit everything 11/12 days ago. It’s been at least 4 years since I’ve gone more than a few days. I’m back at my parents, within walking distance of my 2 main plugs. The other day I found some hash I recently made. 

Is smoking a bit of hash a big deal? No. Will I smoke again? Yes. I’m aiming for 90 days off everything. 420 is going to be a bitch but I’m supposed to see my girl tomorrow! I’m about to tape up my hash right next to a picture of her. I can only have one. I could easily smoke it and lie but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. It honestly feels good to have a clear mind. If I can make it through tomorrow, I can make it through anything!",0.4476958525345616,2.684161935483872,2.150960368663597,95.10129769585257,86.32718894009216,5.8683133640552985,19.73990783410138,7.24861992348623,0.412332866359447,808,24,183,13,25,264,132,217,0.057,0.805,0.13699999999999998,0.9508,1,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,2,4,7,2,0,13,1,20,1,0,3,2,23,36,7,0,4,5,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,12,4,0,0,3,2,0,7,2,3,0,1,7,2,21,4,29,22,7,39,1,0,1,0,6,15,2,3,17,112,33,0,0.1313292540447686,0.0,0.0,0.14316827183476238,0.0,0.0,0.1164154597569278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807278610119772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009840898893638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14337753143830195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485572299608638,0.0,0.0,0.338786017043055,0.13539469427196274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4721210615050106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06640401684760115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14399574846212992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985497662299565,0.11015274741849693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08802723068434411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14268961878385233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11596613738500232,0.2324445142780121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12426691558567875,0.17532659372650716,0.1331472506598972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13260510882323825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13967015157451468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899210136854431,0.09988181562388353,0.0,0.0,0.14582559484733562,0.0,0.12536863320057345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13968482731402354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12967179468994905,0.0,0.0,0.11215446538337942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10465241221784026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10863691606489753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17449864166906515,0.0,0.0,0.10426075809151658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053444059362264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09329253405302668,0.0,0.0,0.16914346761220464
addiction,evercuriousnyc,2020/04/19,"Dating addict with recovery approach at odds with my relationship values Hi All. I'm looking for some guidance.

I'm currently dating a man with addictive tendencies. We have a long history together and are back together after I thought he was clean. He went to rehab, is in therapy, etc. But I recently learned that he isn't totally clean (seems like he's doing drugs once per month? but I don't feel like I can trust that estimate) and while he wants to be clean, he doesn't want to get too down on himself for a slip up here and there because historically he has given up entirely when something goes wrong and wants to be more forgiving of himself. 

But here's the thing... I am not OK with drugs, binge drinking, gambling, and especially not lying. I value openness (often at odds with addictive tendencies I'm finding...) and health and I want my partner to also value those things. I also personally value stability in a relationship. Yet, I love this man and want to support him. How do I reconcile my standards with his approach to recovery? Is it even possible?",4.790399999999998,6.762781840000002,6.100000000000001,73.5925,70.6,9.8,33.0,10.125756701596842,3.80875,848,41,146,24,16,285,121,200,0.10400000000000001,0.725,0.171,0.9561,1,0,4,0,0,0,30.0,1,0,0,0,12,8,0,0,5,1,15,9,0,1,2,39,32,16,0,5,5,0,1,2,1,0,7,0,3,4,7,16,1,0,7,1,1,3,5,1,0,0,4,2,18,7,25,26,5,24,0,0,1,1,21,9,0,3,14,101,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44077494941955225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155595358589812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363389537531167,0.0,0.08215777896332035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132028495792533,0.31259314606717303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15031009858934674,0.08901782216266267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0681464470494728,0.096283509479202,0.0,0.0,0.1231821930685576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041453762330681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14325985376796532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13168881888936965,0.0,0.0,0.11927190956339873,0.1131773176471423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12163998062619485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10757636782371507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14353130817837031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768060349307767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15193891337602633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13307436071117654,0.28939649264014583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12269438180102422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10375661933399727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15294142635309008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15412731450788106,0.0,0.17907745659418578,0.0,0.0,0.10699654279842104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3974698532117744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12493806403502004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14735564576416435,0.0,0.0
addiction,nightlife284,2020/04/19,I’ve been clean for 7 days now. took a bath last week lol,-3.127142857142857,-1.5480265714285686,-1.0599999999999987,115.13000000000002,100.42857142857143,2.8000000000000003,7.0,3.1291,-2.9746,44,0,14,0,2,14,14,14,0.0,0.621,0.379,0.6705,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3749651040766504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4739314932130891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.645974368233689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.466376699729612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,daintysunflower,2020/04/19,"How do I help my boyfriend with his withdrawal symptoms? He’s trying to get off weed and today he keeps laying on the ground and sleeping. He also says eating is like when he’s on acid and it’s horrible. He’s moody too and says it isn’t my fault, but he’s very irritable. 

How do I help him?",0.865714285714283,2.6608205714285766,2.9272222222222237,92.77750000000002,81.38095238095238,6.104761904761905,20.02380952380953,7.1686216300943375,0.2863142857142855,228,6,53,3,6,77,42,63,0.16399999999999998,0.7120000000000001,0.124,-0.5573,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,4,3,1,2,0,9,6,9,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,5,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,6,1,5,6,0,6,0,0,0,0,12,4,0,0,3,28,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23646750608508865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025702166040585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15448864312651805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39639678983329213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2628276596111645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444618372273356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4702977039052853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959089496047613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3073407423440533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802846662660688,0.0,0.0,0.2007577679489751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24397967431319795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,The-Ghost-of-Kush,2020/04/19,"Spouse addicted to social media? How do you handle this? Anyone else have a spouse who maintains multiple social media accounts before interacting with you each day? I know what addiction is, and social media addiction is a real thing....no different than a drug addiction.  Actually, it's easier to quit drugs than social media.  What should I do differently so that I don't come second to social media?  It's causing major probs in our relationship and I don't think my other half even has a clue.  Open to all suggestions, I don't know what else to do.  I've communicated this to my spouse clearly but it doesn't matter.  Many of you deak with this same issue, how do you do it?",3.138282647584973,5.6941211705426396,5.111007751937986,76.0933094812165,77.6046511627907,8.000238521168754,22.326177698270726,8.841846274778883,1.9853787716159808,537,16,93,13,13,184,75,129,0.01,0.9490000000000001,0.040999999999999995,0.5572,2,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,1,4,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,0,14,6,0,3,2,20,18,6,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,13,7,0,0,3,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,0,0,12,0,12,17,4,4,0,0,0,0,17,2,0,0,1,67,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.11568944133407895,0.5169557803237983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08289416487840293,0.12147031403266705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10087883769734188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12178534028680685,0.0,0.10212186590405754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07645609409421858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477227667439675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749648669266994,0.0,0.19806960908207466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07830233622525214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12373726332697045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13030592181258285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201929030447072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260944166925096,0.0,0.13493788617239594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272802508452179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6042430786250158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876053848508073,0.0759631972283958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,wretchedegg92,2020/04/19,"So I OD’d on Friday night and ended up in hospital... I don’t want to admit that I have a problem but I think it’s about time that I did. I thought I was just a recreational cocaine user because I only really use when I’m drinking over the weekend but I just want more all the time and that resulted in me ODing on Friday night. 

I remember cutting a fat line and thinking I just want more, and next thing I know is I’m having a giant nosebleed and convulsing on the floor completely unable to control my body. My friends called the ambulance and I ended up in hospital having my heart restarted. 

I’m home and resting now, but all I keep thinking is, I don’t want to be that shit boring friend that never gets on it. I being with my friends and having a good time and chasing the high. I can’t imagine having a drink without it. 

I’m feeling really overwhelmed and fragile and I just want to bury my head in the sand and forget it ever happened. Except I have a huge black eye from when I hit my head on the floor so I have this giant physical reminder every time I look in the mirror. 

I guess I’m just writing to see if anyone has had any similar experiences, or can show some support? I don’t know... 

TLDR: I OD’d on cocaine and had to have my heart restarted but I don’t want to give up coke...",2.7891986496090984,4.14962840671642,4.489381663113008,85.6062935323383,74.63432835820895,7.0450604122245934,26.941009239516703,7.62386473244151,1.5107307746979388,1015,38,207,13,21,343,130,268,0.06,0.804,0.136,0.9445,0,0,4,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,1,12,10,2,1,15,0,23,11,8,3,4,56,52,23,0,8,13,0,3,0,3,0,1,0,1,0,11,14,4,2,10,4,0,0,7,5,0,0,5,7,34,5,27,44,6,36,0,1,4,0,7,21,1,4,15,147,45,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07767672292514953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986857637183338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06963032588276395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268779079077841,0.0,0.0,0.11663620479258377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11976244014184816,0.0,0.12811273025537584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22379346919661827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20233838705696092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332279393020023,0.0962392486023117,0.0,0.0,0.11173368897628697,0.0,0.0,0.05775544781859013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647491936807243,0.0,0.05967769897703727,0.1095747546044808,0.0,0.09580627133150847,0.0,0.0,0.1258314010450397,0.0,0.10100853797211204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344550222166644,0.0,0.0,0.2707136737689019,0.0,0.12068468244756403,0.1145767021533203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152817472977056,0.0,0.0,0.1255498319243208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09591999211451326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08809714170328678,0.0,0.12147927992955244,0.2143843138942572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08687304268852583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10929762557869444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14635055424953916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293943349723657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09102230888846304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11725002818143583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962085261208012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07588582492277818,0.21957175495468947,0.0,0.09068166444359856,0.2664213988385345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865347902719336,0.0,0.0,0.4042361771254733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11010854884778877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,attention2detail96,2020/04/19,Am i moving too quickly? I am 7 days off a 60-90mg daily morphine binge that lasted 3-4 months. I took kratom on and off during the binge and then for days 1-5 of withdrawal. Now im 2 days off kratom and just waiting for my full spectrum cbd to come in the mail and ill be stopping marijuana as well. Ill be completely sober after that! Is this all way too fast or am i better off doing it this way?,2.548620689655173,3.042302655172417,4.442011494252878,89.0416379310345,74.17241379310346,7.179310344827586,23.69540229885057,7.1686216300943375,0.7030781609195396,309,8,72,3,6,106,63,87,0.095,0.8320000000000001,0.07400000000000001,-0.4122,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,6,2,0,0,3,0,7,2,0,0,1,10,10,7,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,5,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,5,2,12,7,2,23,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,1,11,46,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22664945113972196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207533890071421,0.26869358110344804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4958176703529199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768149187085909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20889375777197586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20455178322462125,0.2723738064812139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142526861540769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2847247231659315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4068294289939524,0.0,0.0,0.230416959542162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,desperatetimes0308,2020/04/19,"Looking for a support person 29 y/o female looking for a female support. No one in my life knows that I'm struggling with cocaine use (my partner has suspicions), but I need someone to know. I need to be able to talk about this when I feel the need to use.",5.088050314465408,4.601620698113209,5.994339622641512,83.55238993710694,68.43396226415095,7.821383647798742,34.647798742138356,6.42735559955562,2.1167911949685543,199,9,41,1,3,66,38,53,0.071,0.8540000000000001,0.075,0.0516,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,2,0,10,15,2,0,3,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,3,5,2,9,14,0,2,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,1,25,7,0,0.21060894427243035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064902103148666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314903357448064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487593257860611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.353716939941622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4684915906852924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427140712413177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18389560657300935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17844827503017358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22017419665787494,0.0,0.0,0.4779930682628961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16927949168116072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3637970140201246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,FLS-TROYM,2020/04/19,"How Long Does It Take? We love our kids. I guess that is part of the problem. In the beginning, they don't give much back but a few smiles and mimicking ""I love you."" They rely on you for everything; but then they become teenagers and then adults. 

As a parent, I struggle with the line between letting the adult child suffer and assisting. Not that there is a perfect equation. Two of my children used the assistance to bounce to self-sustaining careers and emotional stability. The other one, well, the path hasn't been so clear. 

The grey area, as I like to refer to it, between teenage years and adulthood didn't work our so well for my middle son. He emerged from it with some powerful addictions. He lost most of the decade to heroin. Naive to the realities of addiction, I thought I could solve the problem. I couldn't. He ended up back on the street, sleeping in a car, and feeding his addiction.

Three years later, he returned. I only saw him a handful of times in the intervening years. I attended all his court hearings. I new about his arrests because he would call begging for bail (I never bailed him out). 

One night he came back broken, hungry, and tired (and under the influence). He heard about a medication that helped people get off opioids and wanted to try. I held his hand through the first several days to clear his system of heroin so he could begin taking Suboxone--a combination of buprenorphine and naloxone. The medication has worked well (that was October).

Here's the problem. While I'm pretty certain he is clean, his life is stalled. Those grey years of primary development were missed. Normal adult behaviors appear missing. Motivation gone. We work on baby steps, and he is progressing, but full recovery doesn't appear in the immediate future. Have any of you experienced successful prolonged recoveries? What works? How long did it take?

Thank-you in advance. \~Troy",3.6001982707215285,6.586264854651168,4.075000000000003,81.5571794871795,79.23255813953489,7.249135360763267,27.71586165772212,8.303829127061777,2.39801648777579,1506,65,258,32,39,473,203,344,0.124,0.695,0.18,0.9740000000000001,2,0,1,0,0,0,63.0,4,3,3,12,15,17,0,1,24,0,20,13,3,5,6,49,45,24,0,9,4,2,2,1,0,1,7,2,1,6,11,17,1,1,3,0,0,8,7,8,3,5,12,8,32,9,42,28,7,49,0,4,3,2,43,16,0,5,25,173,43,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32404207009164904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06737916908920256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285638648473592,0.0,0.06039947779352073,0.10942830307376047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10117381718349873,0.11332343146550247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15821785607090222,0.0,0.0,0.06389970398343557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08670734060112728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114539328219434,0.08775725778161904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890485278519673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427911287159652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05176626431708575,0.09504849896303702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10915001210742273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11167263399204308,0.0,0.06641258729986292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131807518712282,0.06998455866719261,0.048406468581109766,0.0,0.0,0.17536893387250765,0.0,0.0,0.10815972574398988,0.0,0.17885077715930553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19962941593259484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07283668286888527,0.0,0.07641815956655552,0.09569402924182792,0.0,0.09298176076424652,0.09707933935713046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13428107768901665,0.07535633858091766,0.0,0.0,0.11001885408710876,0.1072961687192785,0.0,0.06869099485777659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10080203171074367,0.0,0.2844243262686932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10336415250436833,0.11193447640598594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099153572644732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10358203696866224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22349203716700036,0.0,0.0,0.09122140897804636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866005376827365,0.05777552079089896,0.11388020275485725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06727018549087728,0.0,0.0967887332306977,0.0,0.0,0.08557504995436913,0.0,0.0,0.05844114063350352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672598971175136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2885315531578421,0.0,0.0,0.070385021930765,0.0,0.0,0.25522228114339496
addiction,BatmanBinBatman,2020/04/19,"addicted, ashamed, and looking for friend to support each while we rebuild I'm not perfect and looking for a friend to share words of encouragement with. I'm experience with many addictions and have been functional with a high-paying job for 10+ years. Recently benzo/ambien addiction had taken over my life and I'm not sure how to improve. My girlfriend of 7 years recently moved out spontaneously, all of my friends thinks I am fucked up, and like any normal level-minded person I turned to therapy. Turns out the therapist I was talking is ditching me and this set me off into a 2 day blackout.


This is not my first rodeo, and all of my close friends are dead. I'm 31 in NYC and not seeking resources / drugs / money. I am still working (luckily) but the only things I seem to be great at are maintaining a job and hiding my addictions. I feel helpless but rational know I am not hopeless. I'm taking it one day at a time and looking for a friend. I can use reddit / SMS / hangouts / instagram and looking for folks in the same boat or who have time to listen.",5.122013937282233,6.185602668292685,5.892421602787456,78.8973780487805,68.65853658536585,9.174216027874564,32.691637630662015,9.424239791934726,3.0304564459930314,837,37,156,17,14,274,125,205,0.085,0.77,0.146,0.8966,2,0,1,0,0,1,27.0,1,0,0,3,2,16,1,1,9,0,14,7,0,2,4,41,35,16,1,1,8,0,1,1,6,0,6,1,0,1,5,20,0,0,4,1,1,1,5,4,0,2,4,6,17,12,28,30,4,24,0,2,4,1,13,11,1,2,12,101,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4701651392433349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332227665986064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390718181090622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12503863953764294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10547005778347032,0.0,0.0,0.054517759813959836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171286191490134,0.0,0.0,0.416512886004018,0.09967918401139524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11887351841357716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11391927133118925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21399228446460666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05925584373471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07615747184000893,0.05267610938823152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3621714168250464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093140170725622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10886891811862537,0.0,0.0,0.11459712734420865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10564211869215054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07306259828956614,0.0820030638577524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09414552267618308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129213289544287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815658962666744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08610634138610211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12235449254557575,0.1016204313313874,0.0,0.08106830445247429,0.08666278939271051,0.0,0.0,0.12330321354847967,0.1251890023562738,0.0716317738444162,0.0690876252121355,0.0,0.0,0.12574309766241018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.234557530364522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09312310574250074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07849529257970911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388669447895845
addiction,katharjung,2020/04/19,"I ""relapsed"" and I feel better. Am I delusional? I was drug free for 4 years but then after a series of events I indulged again.  However, this time feels different.  I feel awake and i wonder if that's just the drugs talking.  In the past my highs were very self-destructive; i would attempt suicide or harm myself.  But now I love myself and want to live life as an artist.  I feel like i've found my purpose in life, but at the same time am worried that this is just a state of delusion.  Can anyone relate or have any tips?",1.9871428571428569,4.0607850952380975,3.0021428571428608,92.24035714285715,79.0,5.723809523809526,21.92857142857143,6.742157984588678,0.4528857142857139,405,12,85,4,10,129,75,105,0.126,0.738,0.136,-0.3736,2,0,2,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,0,2,4,5,0,0,6,0,8,5,0,0,0,20,16,11,1,3,8,0,4,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,6,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,4,14,5,9,12,1,14,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,4,10,56,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12780837754889549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13141482774782526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16622121137669096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963614976315109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4359107866866307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3801205716372432,0.13426724446802005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20607091565099664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19857317453376755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26550083705804384,0.09181995408748136,0.0,0.16595801175144798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696268146452474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17941383209901174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19606660050690555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20558025184144602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510622829883773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191833373472272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15507349846633034,0.11085425165434187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038172710578988,0.0,0.19086627394671532,0.0,0.13351003846314968,0.0,0.0,0.12102978601621188
addiction,BirdsOnTheFence,2020/04/19,"Addiction during Covid I know some people won’t take it seriously because it’s not a chemical addiction, but I’m addicted to a specific online game. Through the years there have been times when I have been so completely hooked on this game that I lose all track of who I am without it. I’ve spent months on end housebound because of this game. I’ve neglected school, relationships, work, and myself because of it. My sleeping schedule was completely reversed and I didn’t see sunlight for weeks at a time. I showered once a week. I ate one meal a day. My hair would fall out and I would lose so much weight. It was awful, lonely shit and a bad coping mechanism for my real life situation. 

I finally managed to get my shit together by quitting cold turkey a few years ago, but now that COVID is around I though I could handle it and it would only be for a few hours a day, and it would only be because I have nothing else to do, and excuse on top of excuse on top of excuse. 

How tf do I handle this? I have never told any therapist about this because it’s so incredibly embarrassing and I have no therapist right now. Please help. I have no idea how to handle this.",3.7247186147186153,5.2858281601731605,4.9950865800865785,82.10786796536796,72.5930735930736,8.25021645021645,27.551948051948052,8.841846274778883,2.139477922077922,919,34,180,18,18,305,128,231,0.18600000000000005,0.75,0.064,-0.9877,1,2,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,6,12,9,2,1,10,1,23,11,4,2,2,28,31,17,0,5,4,0,2,0,0,5,4,0,1,0,17,10,3,1,2,3,1,1,7,9,0,1,8,4,21,0,23,15,5,29,0,4,1,0,10,10,2,1,18,124,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3525457294300109,0.0,0.0,0.09555602567284027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07330603186253727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09596267564495888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000645317268982,0.32856193564443703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22604736457364225,0.0,0.0,0.08606757366658083,0.0,0.0,0.1390410062794043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005102237567215,0.0,0.09547663502040968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11808694906007793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0563197717147409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07225442679816978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10615887450889593,0.0,0.0,0.1216903149900428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0592427154029731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07614059889564524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24119577417548185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08604297751899521,0.0,0.07924360402959696,0.0,0.08314011757322304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034346584134492,0.0,0.0,0.1148008746967657,0.07304641102486024,0.16396979160558164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07473324954552582,0.0,0.0,0.11832934104536165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146559655632918,0.0,0.12269721400824457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573422868820285,0.0,0.09205852037070288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10909687761147846,0.08590069230918881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22130527597139052,0.0,0.12116896493378145,0.1078754020542516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08105034349660696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503225326223989,0.0,0.0,0.10591054747421284,0.0,0.12571523885565472,0.0,0.0,0.10300518045219148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17293738785467655,0.13126837744726222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10391299331656516,0.0,0.07847790168328739,0.0,0.0,0.30630515217373744,0.0,0.0,0.13883617835030046
addiction,whatifitsasecret,2020/04/19,"Any tips on quitting vaping when your partner vapes? I’ve been vaping consistently at 3mg/ml for probably 4 years now. The quarantine is making it worse for sure because I can pretty much do it all day every day. I would love to quit one day but I think it might me hard considering my SO vapes, it helped him quit smoking and he’s very content with vaping, he would probably only stop if I was pregnant. Any advice for quitting when you have it around you every day?",2.6746980676328502,5.015926445652177,4.172753623188406,83.35292270531401,78.02173913043478,7.567149758454105,23.265700483091784,8.515128840125781,1.6849164251207722,371,12,71,8,9,123,67,92,0.075,0.856,0.07,-0.1179,0,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,3,0,4,5,2,0,0,1,0,9,1,0,1,2,13,12,6,0,3,2,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,10,2,8,7,2,12,0,0,0,1,9,3,0,2,9,43,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14015128817181524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19506510591206996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12767687059770974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742932490922377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36998385981213344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24168011361135602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847882996477045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961334085197137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12944485016893242,0.0,0.09573596106595372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15214912989534776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054324018102188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718713140673177,0.10907964854072433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14591274467763518,0.3092684869410865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6101920264349731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119908043629192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13517447291253398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189966230683197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11833898912814796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14616028213481158,0.20376715746333246,0.0,0.0,0.09235970474132488
addiction,lotuseater428,2020/04/19,"Addict ex threatening me I was with my ex boyfriend for almost 3 years before ending things in January 2020 after yet another relapse (DOC was mdma leading to crack and meth, eventually H). We talk here and there and a bit more in the past few weeks. This morning at 5 am I woke up to him calling and texting me with threats he was going to ruin my reputation and post my old nude photos & messages he has. He was nonsensical, saying I betrayed him, he wished he’d never met me, etc. He even commented on my old friends Instagram accounts that have photos of me. I told his family what was happening and blocked him but I’m crushed. My trust with him was already gone but this destroyed whatever was left of it. I’m scared he’s going to persistently try and find ways to contact me (I blocked him on everything per his brothers advice) and I’m sad that it had to end this way. Blocking him feels like a battle line being drawn for good. I feel like he’s using again and I’m so so so sad... I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get him to understand how hard I tried to help him & loved him. I’m sad that I’m some dirty bitch in his mind. I don’t want him to die from this stupid disease. This was mostly a vent but if anyone has any advice for me that would be great too. Thanks.",1.7146792452830188,3.684812618867927,3.3273962264150967,90.08656603773588,79.41509433962264,6.353207547169813,23.052830188679252,7.404127859558343,0.8693577358490563,1004,33,216,14,25,332,157,265,0.198,0.6829999999999999,0.11800000000000001,-0.9747,0,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,1,0,0,2,11,18,5,1,4,0,20,3,1,3,2,37,43,17,1,4,4,3,3,2,1,1,1,1,0,0,13,13,0,3,5,0,1,4,3,10,0,0,13,4,35,8,27,25,6,27,0,4,0,2,36,8,1,4,14,128,48,1,0.12754139573679218,0.0,0.0,0.13903894717018256,0.0,0.2492639516107009,0.0,0.0,0.1277142845139536,0.0,0.14074510171326562,0.0,0.0,0.276382097989164,0.0,0.08673252268183679,0.13373827396917998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08917990938432369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085283339043414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13924217121269228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302340250301781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13236783258527887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259276406618612,0.0,0.14224237029189524,0.08423988901260004,0.11536849432663665,0.0,0.0,0.11462598257155705,0.0,0.12023467700710945,0.0,0.12897752374936114,0.1822311971966804,0.0,0.0,0.116570525096225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09853816596613424,0.0,0.06663511519549277,0.0,0.14496942877967428,0.10697567158348643,0.0,0.14061483906049402,0.0,0.0,0.1127844350381175,0.0,0.11425203889698653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08548830910513383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385740996491121,0.0,0.0,0.12462056718451026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151110892010051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878045172920646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09836778706985598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676664801074149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217526938405085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221494014177346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10142603702668287,0.12769118690891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251294271102894,0.0,0.11742298146750793,0.0,0.0,0.08473283608639164,0.08172337649229193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12187126929294365,0.0,0.17318447133637496,0.0,0.0,0.13277509095090456,0.0,0.11015481582060686,0.0,0.0,0.07522721968917866,0.2024728467451056,0.10230601448165866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466663107374973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060174819000434,0.0,0.0,0.08213247724557837
addiction,dontbthatguy,2020/04/19,"My mom is on her death bed and my father has relapsed. I have proof and I’m not sure what to do next. TLDR I have proof my dads taking my moms oxy and I don’t know if I should wait till she dies to confront him. 

As the tittle says my mom is end stage cancer and is in home hospice. She’s stopped drinking water so it won’t be long. 

For months I’ve suspected my father has been taking opioids again. He’s a recovering alcoholic 30 years ago and about 15 years ago overcame an opioid addiction after being in pain management for shoulder surgeries. 

Since then he’s picked up smoking pot which my mother hated but put up with because she was done confronting him. It was Just a little before bed. But as you can imagine it got worse as my mom got sicker. 

The past few months he appeared to be back on pills. He denied it when I talked to him and I chalked it up to stress and over use of pot. We talked to a therapist and he felt better. He opened up to me and told me how hard it was being an addict and how he was dealing with it. Things seemed to be better so I didn’t put much thought into it. 

Now that my mom is on hospice I moved back in with my dad sister and mom to help out. 

We’ve always had a great relationship but he’s been increasingly agitated and picks small fights with me regularly. He’s very fragile. Move one thing in him. Or clean something he wasn’t ready to clean and he gets angry. It’s very hard to deal with. I had some reason to suspect again he was on pills. 

While he was sleeping I counted my moms oxy script and counted 19 pills. 

Last night he was out cold sleeping (how he used to when he used) and I counted again and there were 17. 

This morning 16. 

I don’t know what to do next. 

Do I confront him now? Do I let my mom pass and then talk to him? Do I give it a couple weeks? I know I’m not a he first person to deal with this exact experience so I’m hoping for some insight. 

I have no idea what to do next.",1.2883465982028248,3.0833390926829267,2.835455712451864,93.95100128369707,80.02439024390246,5.388960205391529,20.545571245186128,6.202715092499727,-0.022121951219512333,1508,40,343,11,38,494,197,410,0.12300000000000001,0.8029999999999999,0.073,-0.9225,0,0,5,0,1,0,33.0,1,1,0,3,18,12,5,1,10,0,41,14,3,9,4,67,64,37,2,3,8,14,4,0,0,2,9,1,5,1,19,28,3,2,12,1,0,7,8,7,0,2,20,6,44,5,49,36,5,58,0,0,0,0,56,19,0,7,31,214,63,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15272924268594207,0.0,0.0,0.12418984163007975,0.07486193230741142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05828704487033438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772794400935662,0.0,0.04270170767990903,0.0,0.059607220079453335,0.0,0.0,0.12390671048446905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750877092972559,0.0,0.0,0.21665480264773204,0.0,0.0,0.07270063258600645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07168526579949229,0.0,0.06862213540689653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062043330596197876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685221455475671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0672587929269234,0.0,0.0,0.05958432378617415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036598129111411484,0.06719815081860094,0.0,0.0,0.11205044788118708,0.07723015139717804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255017225835531,0.06915967468660712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04695290411019757,0.0,0.0702656605473419,0.06957525682340343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790776972991217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549261375971415,0.05709993612627104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07163066614784007,0.0,0.0,0.07020830197882212,0.0,0.06199186833999783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6563318296802975,0.11182616351217392,0.14890370223052274,0.051494662766356315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22349626983441934,0.0657369916556467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04746755713701431,0.0,0.07453792569173813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06687046005344767,0.0,0.06116478309619576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14083879303910055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07202286080436815,0.0,0.07520726940432265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05570641226433151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06377070670293526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05794591813428378,0.0,0.14020077752884713,0.0,0.0,0.05392775808403974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05856476911882625,0.08024180881047918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06602110715243377,0.0,0.10533746304361127,0.1689101265266247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133321646625404,0.09307594849856532,0.0,0.0,0.05561171627313427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693558547125379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815016073650764,0.0,0.11559684181784155,0.0,0.0,0.056189723929927805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07138673035178958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021954858651053
addiction,mtgreezan,2020/04/19,"Trying to quit weed I've been smoking weed daily for about 4 years and I can't recall a day without smoking and it didn't stressed me out. I already tried to quit, but each time I held less than a week and balanced the need with alcohol.

Today I am trying to make the most of the lockdown situation and it is the 5th day without smoking weed and without compensating with other drugs. But yesterday I had a skype night with friends and got drunk, I wanted to smoke weed so bad but I didn't. I'm proud of myself so far but I fear what's coming next. I feel like I can handle myself when I am alone but in a few weeks I will go back to work and start seeing my friends again (which aren't weed smokers) and I am pretty sure the urge and temptation will be higher than today. Any advice/story on what to expect?",4.0651136363636375,4.556368660714289,4.975887445887448,86.59032467532471,70.72619047619048,7.299567099567097,25.98701298701299,6.980632752743323,1.016457142857143,637,18,135,5,11,208,102,168,0.11599999999999999,0.765,0.11900000000000001,-0.1395,0,2,4,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,4,6,8,0,2,9,0,14,3,0,1,1,31,25,17,0,3,8,0,1,1,2,2,2,0,0,0,6,15,2,1,1,1,0,2,7,3,0,0,6,2,17,5,21,16,4,21,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,1,16,90,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15419792368113006,0.0,0.1494368493179849,0.15922326103100554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811947222846826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11094707801868528,0.12047283774712007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12428966935093355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18610515134460984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16732602802983568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16236193745001387,0.0729553699599254,0.10307799392675028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229501123684726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820010960208296,0.0,0.11539874725561408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07049088336685264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09631206903105397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10698628922633736,0.0,0.0,0.15344986740581007,0.13540269813929134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14679080025343405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3069319820778589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497731331635495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16218358281985049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021264197019225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652792003843206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13598790905143154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841343650323574,0.0,0.2735326380791741,0.0,0.0,0.29388230159106105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510365967555332,0.0,0.23147515686962825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.417259854455945,0.0,0.10504197402474512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929154954908336
addiction,UrgentQuestionMan,2020/04/19,"Been using Tramadol for a week Hello Reddit,

I have two bruised ribs and was prescribed Tramadol to help with the pain but after 6 days of taking this stuff I desperately want to get off of it. The side-effects are horrible and I don't feel like myself anymore. 

My doctor hasn't said anything about quitting yet so we haven't had the conversation about withdrawal or anything yet, that's why I'm making the topic. Am I able to just quit Tramadol if I've just been taking it for less than a week or am I already going to get withdrawal effects? Just scared but I really don't want to take this another day if I can help it.",5.023333333333333,5.513384150793655,5.91123015873016,80.73446428571428,68.60317460317461,8.522222222222224,30.035714285714285,8.472884824447931,2.168876190476191,497,18,97,7,8,164,80,126,0.135,0.78,0.085,-0.8811,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,0,0,3,8,3,0,1,6,0,13,3,1,3,0,19,26,9,0,4,9,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,7,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,2,0,1,5,2,10,1,15,21,1,9,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,4,8,67,17,1,0.16846346454377215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18590362223347168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766486311742075,0.0,0.0,0.16707048934413704,0.0,0.0,0.2772621546041748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21728999599206944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724294943687568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08518018943408075,0.12035033273066265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17603041430207272,0.0,0.0957416691422896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258350184525269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230273935780806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245067072320863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17925700383196086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35836326224006765,0.0,0.0,0.10792200914028656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16024733252633488,0.0,0.16866131669732015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19285036237185102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3799906794002175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16456432616047495,0.0,0.0,0.1454983442992647,0.0,0.0,0.1987282322515573,0.0,0.2702624593949582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520120739350415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,naughtyhaven,2020/04/19,"Help! My history: I’ve been a drug addict and alcoholic since I was 17. I just turned twenty. I was in treatment for two years on and off for anorexia and addiction and stayed mostly clean. Once I got kicked out of treatment I went straight back to drinking. Then I got mixed up with bad friends and tried just about every drug a few times. I stopped hanging out with them after a few months and the drugs stopped for the most part as well. However, the drinking continued. 

Quarantine: During quarantine a started drinking every day. It was like there was nothing else to do. I woke up and drank until I went to bed. Then I got tempted with coke. One night I was manic and I picked some up. A lot. I’ve been doing coke all day every day pretty much since I’ve been in quarantine. I began losing weight than I already was (which I was sadly happy about because of my eating disorder which also relapsed in). The good thing was I stopped drinking! It was like the cravings were gone. And my boyfriend has been so proud of me. But, he doesn’t know about the coke use. I’m so ashamed. I want to tell him so badly. 

Treatment: I’m spiraling, and I know it. I want to go to treatment, but I can’t until the quarantine is over. Who knows when that will be?! I’m scared of myself. I can’t stop doing it. I need help.",1.3699513029744672,3.747964500000002,2.480776520136878,93.36805343511452,83.38931297709924,5.293182416425376,22.393261384574885,6.647476241863616,0.5346494867070275,1017,35,212,11,29,323,139,262,0.094,0.794,0.11199999999999999,0.3592,1,4,8,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,1,2,13,13,0,2,12,0,24,16,0,2,1,36,46,22,0,3,4,0,1,2,1,1,6,0,2,0,9,15,11,4,3,4,0,5,3,6,1,2,23,1,29,7,35,21,9,39,0,2,0,0,8,12,0,4,23,144,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21335928401701068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458041954731308,0.0,0.0,0.10798871374395587,0.0782569908313928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07524674580402595,0.16341465066291305,0.05965331600329923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18933090351900705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215372249659868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3834542598561957,0.3404525650176533,0.10013314327473033,0.08174778499006405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473487048643073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560483219550894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05561494487391285,0.0820786303436074,0.23479789704918075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417163881333713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13118428176941654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16134055893733495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956169315484539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947804793128067,0.0,0.08319535471555453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810930559771154,0.0,0.07193687459787614,0.07256045182708097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09183308465636733,0.0,0.09389737055098316,0.0,0.0,0.10421555440238764,0.0663110994769708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059706555814137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09955674570518616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979729089174588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16189826371707766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06926438154497053,0.10430358570233968,0.0,0.3272546105269057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08553218732657368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06501249329080168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057061774785152175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06643914449734423,0.10644138104308017,0.09559302662694896,0.0,0.0,0.08451787471370675,0.0,0.0,0.1154383434148702,0.0,0.0,0.11916465590791984,0.08798607581929863,0.18143065474174733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06301733038229614
addiction,roseviolet05,2020/04/19,"I’m almost 3 months sober from alcohol. Hi, 

I’m an alcoholic and I have been for the past decade. I am now 25 and this is the longest I have ever been sober. I can’t remember being sober this long from alcohol. I woke up in hospitals, I would start fights with people because I was angry inside, I would get more depressed and anxious when I would wake up the next day. Thinking what I did last night - if someone touched me or not or how did I get home... especially as a young woman this is horrifying to experience. 

I knew I needed to stop because it was damaging my health overall. I was tired of waking up the next day feeling sick, puking out my guts, eating hangover food like McDonald’s to help me. After a heavily binge of 4-5 days the weekend would roll around and I would force myself to drink despite my body rejecting it. I would drink it until I got tipsy and it didn’t happen anymore. 

I don’t know if it’s my genetics because I’m Indigenous but alcohol effects me more? It’s like poison to us.. my family doesn’t drink and they feel uncomfortable of me drinking..

I’m a young woman that struggled with social anxiety since I was fifteen. The “great” liquid courage gave me confidence to talk to people but at the end of the night it would usually be a sloppy blacked out mess..

I’m almost 3 months sober and I cannot remember the last time I stopped for this long. 

It’s like whenever the 11th hits I forget and I get emotional and think about myself becoming sober..

I want to become more physically fit, further my education, be a role model for others.....

I thought about it today.. seeing people drinking during this quarantine.. I kind of miss it but when I really think for a moment I think it’s not worth it. I’m sick and tired of that feeling that fucking face hitting a pole, waking up in hospitals, losing my shit, waking up with random shit, not remembering arguments with my mother, passing out at a festival due to dehydration, getting hit by a car, not remembering that I was trying to steal someone’s girl (lol), arguing with everyone that comes near me kind of fucking hangover. 

I’m still struggling as I still think about it and I’m not sure if I’ll ever drink again or not. But right now thinking about it.. reminds me of the disgusting feeling of being up for 2 days no sleep of drinking... i still see young people like myself do it and I get jealous...

I’m almost three months sober and I’m fucking tired of being hangover.

Sincerely,

Almost three months sober.",3.661914784394249,5.493684737166326,5.004656570841892,80.8666973819302,73.29158110882958,7.991149897330596,27.986088295687885,8.697196308434329,2.256963901437373,1965,77,367,38,40,654,219,487,0.175,0.723,0.102,-0.9885,0,1,11,0,1,0,66.0,1,0,1,2,16,30,10,2,21,1,32,33,10,2,3,78,77,29,0,12,16,1,5,4,0,7,11,0,1,3,27,23,13,2,18,8,1,3,12,19,0,2,15,8,52,11,57,47,3,63,0,5,3,3,14,18,5,11,46,235,79,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25295685398294965,0.2370176158857511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0452680936737868,0.06684999186571201,0.058684896277638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052677575095060034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10821611166193444,0.13070648838927978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06572918564581992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05097332537143729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15264982974577565,0.0,0.050966643465467816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4057772510595953,0.0,0.06054996961152107,0.0,0.06656299954917275,0.052410768846413235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10705288597001328,0.0,0.05654347476226885,0.0,0.05788371282849705,0.055784160322146364,0.0,0.1196809945663574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715536658928188,0.0,0.0,0.16411675645821394,0.1545803607444408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047327005712019705,0.06523975379714779,0.0,0.0,0.052327541127232605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06289939726400474,0.0,0.0,0.03966321247328677,0.0,0.0593565377196716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123241626621952,0.03252058749405373,0.09646972606729612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11563808166335356,0.0,0.0,0.10473459276617286,0.0,0.0662007828634754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889290968263049,0.0,0.0,0.04387691237329557,0.0,0.0,0.12586484557127864,0.11106193820400193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564884604168773,0.16409573153618515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03790850159914417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26813128952591264,0.0505344352622015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09430833684914347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12148291213812483,0.048949501771512624,0.0,0.05921692527256196,0.06032063511085557,0.10027619896286616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04188379651882113,0.0,0.14176975462755842,0.09894454560498604,0.0,0.12372342375862762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055770974135333315,0.0,0.0,0.04756197274891755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227498591078358,0.0,0.0469776973404805,0.03450494627678738,0.2040360809001129,0.05609021342372979,0.0,0.0,0.040175390972120514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711792651011991,0.0,0.0651720106368777,0.0,0.034902470636506394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29424952938821136,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Matchuu_,2020/04/19,"Tomorrow is 4/20 and I want to celebrate I've committed to doing a sober 2020 because I had the realization I abuse substances (weed, alcohol, ecstasy, adderall, nicotine)  way too much at any chance I get. It was affecting my education, my personal relationships with friends and family, and my state of mind. I went sober to foster a life of healthy behaviors and relationships that didn't have facades between myself and other people. 

Recently it's been really difficult to maintain my sobriety. The longest I've been sober the last 3 years was 2 weeks. It's been almost 16 weeks and I thought after week 12 it would be easy, but it's just getting harder. Everyday I wake up the cravings get more intense and I find myself wanting to drive to the nearest place or person to get something that would make me ""feel"". 

The root cause of my substance abuse is my stress with school, internal issues with my family, and unaddressed trauma I experienced many years ago.

What I'm asking from this post is if anyone has any resource for online therapy or a story they can share about recovery. I feel like I'm in a constant battle with some demon inside me that woke up and does not want to leave no matter how hard I try. I am reaching out for help and I want any help that is offered. Thanks for reading my post, I hope whoever you are that you have a blessed life.",4.449562419562422,6.409333467181472,5.348185328185327,78.68577863577866,71.47104247104247,8.794337194337192,30.09395109395109,9.362217197678863,2.909102445302445,1084,46,194,25,21,354,161,259,0.092,0.726,0.182,0.951,0,0,2,0,2,0,27.0,0,2,1,0,4,10,1,1,11,0,21,4,1,5,1,42,40,15,0,8,6,0,3,1,1,2,3,0,0,2,13,15,1,0,4,1,0,2,3,4,0,0,10,4,29,6,27,27,3,25,2,0,0,0,13,7,0,6,13,123,42,2,0.0,0.2682533512516476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034735368985596,0.12097924758667787,0.11335614110926268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309451315638176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07915395236134429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058292331342692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06900730860870682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11629034489354685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233189100075527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09906443615219652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134348411364341,0.0,0.1144773620092472,0.08087202376207127,0.0,0.0,0.10346520706182097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746011684139117,0.0,0.23657493129069626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140737422220593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15175475268085695,0.0,0.0,0.11243581299212492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11815419651157998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922753006352702,0.0,0.1198653026531475,0.0,0.0,0.15991681432415233,0.05530511583980365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556367405431524,0.1147697589538189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430244560259498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08321700180836435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07848049112269277,0.19768844350408366,0.11827271621853985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21683376822281594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11323332342546436,0.0,0.07252054140287438,0.0,0.11177399868127352,0.243074646489796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11456716504325658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08714896070612935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12967329797236302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422182692686106,0.12945714077817275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08987029033795763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07685719512680786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670795162122169,0.08985502551174962,0.2724131069138657,0.0,0.0,0.10494002698987474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16083188488520128,0.0,0.0,0.14579764065915252
addiction,plsdontl00k,2020/04/19,"have you quit weed while living with a parent that smokes? Heyoo!

This is my first time posting on reddit haha, I’m not sure why but I’m a little bit nervous. Like I’m giving a class presentation or something haha. 

I’ve been smoking weed since I was 15. I have only taken a break ONCE, it was for one month and I cheated a handful of times. My mother is a smoker, and lets me smokes in the house. Usually I’m able to somewhat manage my weed habit because I’m out and about BUT since the lockdown I’ve been smoking all day, every day 🥴.

My brain feels like mush, I can’t hold a conversation, I can’t retain information and I feel exceptionally lazy. 


SO I’m looking for advice. 

Have any of you quit weed while living with a parent that smokes? 

What were some of the ways you overcame triggers? 
How did you distract yourself from giving into the convenience?
Did you just quit cold turkey or did you ease off? 

Thanks so much u guyz!",1.9280579791725323,4.2093169197860965,3.3928060793695463,88.26772305094288,80.33689839572195,5.220264565156207,21.072051787222065,6.339386263674448,0.3124181818181824,732,21,145,6,19,240,114,187,0.077,0.782,0.141,0.9231,2,1,5,0,0,0,21.0,0,6,0,4,5,9,1,2,12,2,16,2,2,2,2,26,29,13,0,0,7,3,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,8,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,3,0,2,9,5,17,6,16,19,5,19,0,0,1,0,13,6,0,4,12,87,22,2,0.1411936714930012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13797282166881605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601653835254273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08607035162985521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15414692043005218,0.0,0.0,0.1576188329369241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18211647490395855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118961757865971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14278352540401698,0.10086878712642958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12009926484312627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2708916708056743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16291853987771318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14438009526551318,0.0,0.13796019184730754,0.14151315174440704,0.2493531974325943,0.0,0.1185671235192757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112699441519513,0.0,0.1037935944994166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15036665207710692,0.09567648592459682,0.10738414960093874,0.0,0.0,0.3135577260969961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13522450775459993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4505305485160898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23359372822830546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869778641398248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330733644236878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12999216274273048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16466233059399496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15550488145788335,0.0,0.0,0.11207296440670203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12740532725169765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,blackback7,2020/04/19,"I need some motivation I have been clean (Opiats, Benzodiazepines, Cocaine etc etc) for the past 103 days, but today I just want to give up and I’m on the verge of not really caring if it hurts people. Please help.",2.5478571428571435,4.7607673571428615,3.957380952380952,85.39178571428572,77.80952380952381,7.057142857142857,17.642857142857142,8.07648339933343,0.5420285714285717,167,3,34,3,4,55,37,42,0.157,0.615,0.228,0.1488,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,9,7,3,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,5,6,3,6,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,2,3,21,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27496005813173746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17392339306560578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6015362473391216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587047578456609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18076300523163852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2887015087221981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19996672095645124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25744318801056104,0.18696441695275368,0.0,0.0,0.2960312363170093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17276600269090187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25562819828035976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15906617464515982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ashamedaddict,2020/04/19,"So embarrassed to admit I'm addicted to Loperamide but here I am and need help. Who gets addicted to diarrhea medicine right? Well, this person did. I used it to cover up withdrawal feeling and symptoms from the Vicodin I used to take for all of my pelvic pain and lower back pain. I am a 28F. The thing is, I think if I was addicted to Vicodin, it would be easier to seek help from my doctor, my husband (who is an MD, ironic) my incredible parents and my loving sister but who wants to go to their loved ones and admit they're addicted to Loperamide AKA the poor mans methadone. I feel so embarrassed and ashamed. Since my start is in lockdown and I would be home all day every day for almost a month, also working from home, I would try and detox and get off this medication once and for all but every time I try, I fail. I don't have kids so I do have the luxury of locking myself in my bedroom and telling everyone to leave me alone and not to get in my way. 

My very sweet and loving husband has no clue. Not one. I'm an incredible liar when it comes to this. I choke up withdrawal into ""I'm just having severe anxiety today so that's why I don't like to be touched, held onto, grumpy, irritated and well, have horrible anxiety. 

I am starting a brand new job that I am very excited about very soon - But I am terrified in the same sense of my loperamide addiction will affect my brand new job just as my vicodin/loperamide addiction has consumed me at the job I'm about to quit at which is 4.5 years.

I'm running out of quarantine time and I have to get past at least the first week. If I can make it 5-7 days, I think that will be enough for me to keep moving and I'll just have to remind my husband it's just anxiety and this happens.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can deal with this at home? My husband wants to help but I don't dare tell him what's going on, mostly because during that withdrawal, if he starts asking me all these questions (like the doctor he is) I will get so irate and irritation with the back and forth talking that I'll push him away and I'm terrified I'll push him out my life for just trying to help me. Any advice on what to stock up on? I do take Alprazolam for anxiety but I'm afraid to take it during this withdrawal to help it and then if I give up and have to start over, I'll essentially have to be without my anxiety meds for maybe two weeks before they're re-filled and I don't want to waste them.

Thank you everyone for your time, this was a short rant telling a story and looking for advice and I'm sorry this was so random but I just needed to put it down somewhere.

I think of and pray for everyone in any type of similar situation every single night hoping others are doing the same for me.

Thanks guys <3",3.047414622414621,4.416684890652559,4.440620089786759,86.17756313131314,73.99118165784833,7.764774731441397,25.055675805675808,8.367750914986694,1.4792825396825404,2171,69,458,37,44,721,246,567,0.16,0.7170000000000001,0.12300000000000001,-0.9814,5,3,1,0,0,0,51.0,0,2,2,4,25,20,1,4,17,0,46,19,0,5,4,85,96,48,0,13,20,6,3,2,0,6,16,0,4,4,30,32,0,2,8,0,1,8,8,8,2,4,5,5,59,12,78,80,10,61,1,1,1,3,40,27,0,9,27,306,89,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4101319362957974,0.0,0.18381739290234386,0.0,0.0,0.0627878109771979,0.06494120528908058,0.0,0.05014341782880916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279201913970958,0.0,0.23983740603127765,0.0,0.0,0.043843265572808966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058618666980657624,0.0,0.05891135795252205,0.09642918734861128,0.0,0.03822305352466341,0.0,0.05335547656857057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054012922311120384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12131438357390975,0.06464384812628872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12835797447432193,0.054871655217085966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06478876854469114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15848947583671122,0.17974567799611707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06340885369480466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0533349816916423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16379816217352305,0.060150252883358686,0.07127090854661647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062085644139511335,0.055447891481314134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21014187305989884,0.0,0.18868810522843715,0.06227804249628122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866686035486932,0.05573314224453483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0663932266224213,0.0,0.0,0.044288851982806535,0.06126685551291897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052654571786025325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16977521357861305,0.0,0.04185461534626335,0.0,0.06299340465345649,0.0,0.06964869119271226,0.06316648859427236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05004878804173262,0.0666431682667303,0.0,0.09298668438840467,0.0,0.12111753728087599,0.0,0.058842343482818964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06677645068053925,0.08497809927103983,0.0,0.13344043028392344,0.0,0.06962405474546679,0.0,0.05985693108578841,0.0,0.054749678763088255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06303364686297247,0.07024150207089766,0.06669216109973128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0535478606891734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07083633235286252,0.0,0.05186841582507904,0.07048059025930578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701906668956585,0.17752549836456322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06517223238963256,0.14143413835751256,0.050398146880376304,0.16441506993933158,0.115456653777133,0.0,0.0,0.04165696355737706,0.12053229445268004,0.0,0.0,0.10968754553583572,0.0,0.059434936174827264,0.0,0.0,0.12771328467881232,0.0,0.061251538357806674,0.0,0.0,0.10831019850746068,0.0,0.15520916535257004,0.11095123309409216,0.04977057530341444,0.10059283068532618,0.0,0.11275472046784935,0.0,0.05657953697937145,0.0,0.0,0.06044327529384505,0.0,0.04564839549444557,0.0,0.0,0.13362684044014236,0.0,0.0,0.04037855652568728
addiction,brando0o88,2020/04/19,"2 Techniques I use to stop urges Hi I wanted to hop on here and provide some advice because I know that 12 step and AA meetings are all cancelled right now to the virus and people who are trying to recover are very vulnerable to relapse right now being at home and alone and bored. So here are some thought process I've been using for awhile to help me not relapse.

1. Accepting how you feel
First we have to understand that right now maybe we have an urge and we feel like shit but we know doing our drug of choice is going to give us our instant gratification and make us feel good. That's all our mind is thinking about ""i feel like shit I want to feel good! Make me feel good"" But, what if I just sit right here on my ass and do nothing? It remains just a thought. So I am going to accept that I am going to feel like shit for what, a few minutes? An hour? At most a day? As long as I don't put action behind that thought I'm fine! 

2. Futuring
So. What happens if i do it? Fast forward (BLRRRRRRP) *vcr noise*. You get your instant gratification and get done feeling good then what happens? Not only are their the negative consequences that effect everything and everyone around you but guess what...*hello darkness my old friend*. That's right YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT AGAIN. Not only do you feel like shit again but you feel even WORSE than you did before because you failed to keep a promise you made to yourself. 

If you take one thing from this, don't be full of shit. Especially to yourself",1.2654040404040394,3.795705902356904,2.2483754208754227,93.63700757575758,85.93602693602693,4.916161616161617,21.381313131313128,6.42735559955562,0.3028848484848483,1171,39,244,12,36,368,156,297,0.171,0.6829999999999999,0.146,-0.9206,0,1,1,0,0,0,34.0,9,11,1,3,17,22,6,0,8,0,22,8,7,7,2,65,59,24,0,5,12,0,11,5,1,0,1,0,1,0,16,15,0,2,21,1,0,7,6,8,1,2,7,11,35,14,29,50,7,33,0,1,0,1,27,12,7,7,20,156,51,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385304311862957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827505697904642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06727962013409881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09214216703363956,0.0,0.06431052441909747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04874096112196402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07734158765570169,0.0,0.0,0.08764541301485143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049917945337500116,0.0,0.0,0.07221713406895608,0.06792380188687552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4203544402376949,0.2699613878613517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428582149508802,0.0,0.0,0.058390660766650324,0.0,0.07897180485100372,0.07250041712023192,0.1288565804084215,0.2535618595484199,0.0,0.0,0.08325666888799503,0.0,0.1336651158766719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05065772036175279,0.0,0.07580996853116939,0.0,0.07442819515836607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06717637693037691,0.0,0.0,0.08307036795787673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18461570680945985,0.0,0.0,0.06688333321619096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07151285586309432,0.100896569026744,0.0,0.07592733021514335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07631130127670961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07251824191005353,0.0,0.07930542691411012,0.0,0.051212982056633764,0.11495954253616525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05239562785235785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07597583503159705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3227120460648314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4654726892812278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06318581892419674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05682455481300872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050210050483556624,0.048426738073313366,0.0,0.17999926683063602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05131187300223033,0.0,0.0,0.07867840057668535,0.18181983163769755,0.13054865430729587,0.0,0.06235900205199627,0.08915463408967354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07701949628532975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,BogusMachineElf,2020/04/19,"I’m going to relapse soon I don’t think I’ve ever posted in here, so hey guys.

I’m 18M, and 2 1/2 years clean from heroin. I got really close to relapsing with H about 6 months in(I found some oxycodone at my grandfathers and stole it. Once I took it I felt ashamed, almost committed Suicide), but haven’t ever gone back to it yet. I’m just in such a horrible place in life. I want a significant other so bad, and I always seem to fall for someone but nobodies ever been very into me. I’ve got a lot of stresses going on but this is the one that is overtaking me every minute of everyday. I hate myself. And I know I’ll stop hating myself for a while if I go back to heroin. The quarantine doesn’t help, but I was feeling like this long before hand, and I’m worried now that I’m leaving highschool it’s going to be impossible for me to meet someone. I’m not attractive enough to meet a girl at a bar, and it’s taboo to date coworkers. I don’t match on tinder with anyone, and other sites aren’t working either. I just want to stop feeling this way, and I know dope will help. I’m scared because my best friend will lose all respect and love they have for me if I do, so that’s why I’m not. I’m just worried I’ll slip up",1.9582479098509644,3.2375355954198497,4.04823336968375,88.2602162849873,76.63358778625954,6.9752090149036725,23.163213376953834,7.62386473244151,0.9237671392221009,954,28,211,13,21,328,145,262,0.187,0.6509999999999999,0.162,-0.8763,1,1,0,0,0,1,28.0,0,0,1,4,17,13,2,3,8,0,14,4,1,0,5,46,44,19,1,4,12,0,4,1,1,2,1,0,1,2,13,13,1,3,8,1,0,7,7,7,0,1,8,4,23,6,29,33,6,37,0,1,0,1,10,12,0,6,17,128,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12254613627918845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101830166437991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557111187968157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18820570665229588,0.1021823916659865,0.07460186066912247,0.0,0.10413657366057287,0.0,0.12843051550548926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264515060466414,0.0,0.0,0.33209981049219595,0.10311063353658548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237582566624691,0.08742847055430268,0.11750422574009782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13418362052840474,0.0945506727077804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2782060510014302,0.0,0.1957573210749612,0.0,0.0,0.12117568186068492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24165030839361934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16405779537887974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13451396283883274,0.0,0.0,0.12958300776947054,0.0,0.0,0.08644078534135942,0.059788805408506264,0.0,0.0,0.10830266459565993,0.0,0.1369121890498964,0.0,0.10404330683754044,0.11045294798586898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09768274294827313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13033096548484052,0.0829280203588967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278613073627524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11720644444375795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783999178415132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252397335304305,0.0,0.0,0.11141037758689434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20738476670165795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046307271209024,0.1401861556823454,0.0,0.0,0.133864123493999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841631866735818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13596895370740614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097651775109967,0.1443660769978682,0.09713974112014873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11042913491291252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909427495760533,0.2485661559180123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880886455096825
addiction,Iquit4realZ,2020/04/19,Video Games are starting to affect my daily life. I am 14M and don't have a really good connection with my parents and I really just need somebody to talk to about it. I play on average maybe 4-5 hours a day and fucking up my life.,1.8702000000000003,3.1172742199999988,4.3889999999999985,85.85950000000003,76.8,8.200000000000001,24.5,8.841846274778883,1.7033999999999998,181,6,40,4,4,64,39,50,0.057999999999999996,0.888,0.053,-0.0574,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,2,0,4,3,0,1,0,7,7,3,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,6,2,7,7,0,5,0,0,0,1,3,2,1,0,3,24,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19883465891712912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2850279348257407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585960796482111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3036235736324544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4355374120563773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3097391692387688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286082053444915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34234213874503033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3950229881332109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2182236405725098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24780816708951545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,blep0192,2020/04/19,"New comer to coke and really just weird So I'm 18f and about a week and a half or so ago I got offered coke and free and I finally said ""why not"" out of desperation for some mental relief and now every chance i get to do it i do. I constantly want it but I'm just so confused and know its bad and need any advice maybe?",-0.607007042253521,1.3206742676056358,2.3304049295774694,94.16208626760564,88.01408450704224,5.803521126760564,15.917253521126757,7.1686216300943375,-0.150959154929577,247,5,60,4,8,87,49,71,0.14,0.742,0.11800000000000001,-0.6845,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,1,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,19,10,13,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,9,2,0,1,0,1,0,1,3,0,1,2,1,5,3,6,8,1,7,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,3,6,37,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26285158444371176,0.23844129110526924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18292080232545155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22459342308542676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2906800524478388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266336671604579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946627844587105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14053492689612487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21513396837477525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478285586890195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27023421387759977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710762495757473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19945090835319867,0.0,0.25978991494383763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723203541291047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25586881961479674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15865586468337867,0.0,0.2157656398436946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24271948438557805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,_steena,2020/04/19,"My mom lives across the country and I don’t know how to help her... It’s a long one, but I’ll (28F) keep it short. I am having trouble with my mother (60F) who lives across the country in Georgia, I know she needs help but I don’t know what to do. My mom has a long history of opiate/alcohol abuse and she also has a bipolar disorder; she hasn’t been on opiates in years and I’m not sure if she is drinking. But after some time it seems like she may be using methamphetamine....after talking to my very elderly grandparents I can almost confirm it. They feel so guilty because they can’t help, with Covid-19 and the fact that they’re in their late 80s they need help themselves. 

I know I can’t just have her committed and she won’t really talk to me, is there anything I can do to help her? She’s living in a sketchy motel and I know she isn’t really safe there. I would greatly appreciate any advice.",1.0724193548387078,3.304300059139788,2.6283978494623668,92.78259677419355,83.35483870967741,5.655483870967743,21.66559139784946,6.961326702584282,0.5478094623655916,705,23,152,9,20,230,105,186,0.10400000000000001,0.74,0.155,0.8386,1,0,3,0,1,0,26.0,0,0,4,0,6,5,0,0,7,0,22,2,0,2,3,34,34,13,0,4,6,3,1,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,7,8,1,2,7,2,0,0,8,1,0,1,1,1,30,4,16,29,1,14,0,0,0,0,26,8,0,5,7,101,37,0,0.0,0.15503412313679987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12786367869640242,0.0,0.13983729545101234,0.13102591156491994,0.0,0.0,0.10463952999390884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889814940432223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076771992270988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976405536231447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14996376278250126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281817544325336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06616095327535497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14426097705180954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43852509025409775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11630419429050495,0.0,0.0,0.3595546774117468,0.0,0.14760285224169578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06392598712520606,0.0,0.346624973666621,0.23159368029730426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3064964567172312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19404506855343095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08866635694693839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16764985031263896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911959629521035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12332320022099973,0.0,0.0,0.2103421996534376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07629883580626216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130111264459534,0.0,0.10796374889247362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09295104843713588,0.0,0.0,0.08426216958535432
addiction,throwaway73819196729,2020/04/19,"Please any advice. I’ll try to keep this short and sweet.
My sister recently fell in with some bad people, these people got her addicted to ketamine and other substances like molly. She is 20 and I her younger sibling am 18. I know who she is buying from and don’t know the best way to go about getting her to discontinue the use of these substances. I have options without contacting authorities to avoid trouble for anybody like talking to her directly, her roommate, contacting her friends who are the reason for all of this, those friends parents. I am just not sure what to do, anything helps. Thanks.",5.1461507936507935,7.231002821428575,4.961547619047618,81.65567460317463,69.89285714285714,7.477777777777778,32.98015873015873,8.167268648758528,2.626068253968254,484,23,84,7,9,149,77,112,0.08,0.718,0.20199999999999999,0.9417,1,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,2,11,0,1,3,0,8,1,0,2,2,18,16,4,0,0,3,2,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,9,5,0,2,3,0,1,2,3,3,0,0,1,1,13,8,16,15,3,6,0,0,0,0,18,2,0,2,3,58,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241782822907425,0.0,0.20094932264084805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398424567309064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16922444645070225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170106215688669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21580680943279731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31775437366236603,0.0,0.10743857004675927,0.0,0.11687012232881412,0.0,0.1644693347138883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13783635938836333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18278254858018667,0.0,0.0,0.2260290634990843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20093092804656126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22833921893414816,0.0,0.0,0.2851301850720173,0.0,0.0,0.2257312984306979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21143247929264627,0.2030449891069529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193813550516976,0.0,0.0,0.16528588483483686,0.0,0.1893259609814482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13961626613907815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776071949573317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632276995677963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19822991236109944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ragtimegaal,2020/04/20,"A small “poem” because my heart is screaming for attention Can you be addicted

To a person or a feeling?

Can you be attached 

At the heartstrings I’m connected.",2.2590000000000003,5.1455945666666665,4.248333333333335,77.9625,86.66666666666666,7.0,34.16666666666667,8.07648339933343,3.592666666666668,127,8,20,3,4,43,25,30,0.09300000000000001,0.8540000000000001,0.053,-0.2732,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,5,2,1,0,0,3,7,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,3,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,16,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5462816227784918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.305470750153083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533752319395528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.593815323671733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4375481260702905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,idkmyusernamety,2020/04/20,"How to escape from emptiness from addiction So I had been watching korean/chinese dramas since I was a kid. I’m now 22 and these day I noticed myself watching dramas a lot. I feel like watching drama give me happiness and joy. It’s like I wake up started watching drama until I go to bed. Not even eating properly. Even on weekdays, I have to go to work but still watching it at work. Whenever I finish one drama, I feel really empty and I have an urge to watch another one just to escape from this emptiness. Now I tried to stop watching dramas and I feel really empty and my life is meaningless and I feel like I am missing something in my daily life and I just can’t seem to get over it. This could be the first stage of depression? This whole thing sounds ridiculous but hope somebody understands me",2.8555274261603363,5.132966493670885,4.276227848101268,83.16518565400847,77.10126582278481,6.998143459915612,25.72320675105485,8.021203637495839,1.802692320675106,638,24,116,11,15,211,94,158,0.172,0.716,0.11199999999999999,-0.9206,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,9,9,1,0,4,0,10,5,1,1,0,23,24,12,0,2,5,0,4,3,0,0,3,1,1,1,8,7,1,1,6,6,0,2,2,3,0,3,3,12,20,6,18,19,2,17,0,2,7,0,2,5,0,3,12,84,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17856240412600372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717549521888225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13077820766154774,0.0,0.0,0.1056352167142536,0.0,0.14107771850487189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16760475062715235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21637213761387605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3312818053881762,0.2340325595127735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13932525188198025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855769308577739,0.15712856492930966,0.18617869492342853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17436446090409796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626869210844923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313886782128661,0.24006814492893894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13925395952248018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18648344459710575,0.0,0.0,0.2219855470062875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098645134898509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14911421678565687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354941891857975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12609857763012414,0.0,0.0,0.1159360329310504,0.0,0.13080812714563475,0.13694124042041772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10881914188749987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11120709768200084,0.0,0.0,0.17051797306277885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18287298560469012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23849166151559786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,shrimp__,2020/04/20,"Weed+Gaming+Love Hello redditers,

I’ll try to describe the rather difficult situation I am in as short as I can... Well, I (32) live about a year now with my partner (36) a heavy cannabis smoker (about 6-7 joints on daily basis) with successive gaming habits since his childhood. “Successive” meaning he plays daily about 7-8 hours DOTA when I am in home-office mode, when I am not at home he plays… until I come back. Please keep reading :D

I knew he was a gamer and smoked of course before we moved together, but I didn’t realize the whole situation. However, after a year of long distance relationship he immigrated to the country I live: he wanted to be with me and develop his career. I believe that his work until then (a crazy well paid home-office job in an international organization) helped him “cultivate” and establish his habits… seeming normal to the rest of the world: He would work only a few (5-6) days per month and earn fcking lot of money for the average wage there. As he came here, he kept of course his home-office work just to have a backup and search for the vacancies here, learn the language etc… And after a year here he did exactly… nothing. He didn’t even meet another person except my friends and his dealer. Really. Writing this I realize again how crazy this is. At first he said it was the time for integration he needed, then it was the summer-holiday season, afterwards came my pressure and my questions “ehm don’t you play too much?” that destructed him… then it was suddenly Christmas… now you can imagine what happens with the lockdown. 

Now everytime I confront the situation he persuades me in the end with his charm and intelligence, that a big part of this situation is my fault: he moved because of me in a city he didn’t want to, he knows nobody here and I was a monster who was always criticising him and didn’t support enough. And from time to time I sink in the depression that somebody who lives with a person like this sinks and feel completely devastated, thinking I did all wrong and I really didn’t support him…

I believe there are a lot of people here, that in one way or another are in similar situations, so we can maybe brainstorm a bit together? Is there any possibility to support a person, who is in complete denial about stopping? In the beginning he was lying to me and his friends who tried to intervate, now he says that he wants to build a functional life and REDUCE the hours and the joints (but not stop for a period and detox) though he has no input except 9gag and YouTube, no hobbies except his computer and found his new explanation, that it is the fault of his girlfriend?

\*Of course I tried already the suggestion to go to therapy, even as a couple, and the answers are balancing between laughing me out about trying to help, “you don’t understand the situation” and “I cannot afford this” or “I need to solve other things before, like career etc”. But still, do you have positive experience with therapy (or no therapy) in this field?

I hope it all makes sense - If you made it till here, thanks for reading people! :)",8.327086473974719,7.3651272650602415,8.410367380853465,70.44802065404475,62.06368330464716,11.800367974360498,36.55771855896492,10.996428447227288,3.9675366015787286,2435,96,441,55,29,797,278,581,0.092,0.778,0.13,0.9664,4,1,2,0,0,0,77.0,2,5,0,7,33,25,2,1,40,0,37,2,0,3,2,83,67,44,0,10,14,0,1,2,4,1,2,2,1,4,26,35,0,4,14,5,3,6,13,8,2,2,22,3,51,17,71,43,12,64,0,1,0,0,62,18,0,9,41,303,77,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734763706715138,0.0,0.05540267221867985,0.0,0.0,0.0452789539974837,0.13963687363198304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051198478015312375,0.0,0.04058858566308909,0.0,0.11331503538308375,0.15003324515924518,0.0,0.0,0.07269176163567947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523072044230877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05735565115759522,0.13962272901328626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367319855458808,0.0,0.042940745578034366,0.0,0.05734813261598429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05897307568127914,0.06879838839629715,0.14851604777059094,0.0879553353554981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651312822246834,0.0,0.0,0.033666536980479576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05663575443635556,0.0,0.0730051948778647,0.10288424562822868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037840846165835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05887942709168484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925881769848798,0.0,0.2671540729638007,0.06613227959819501,0.13114235413332795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06607369032632399,0.05918233133325659,0.0,0.0,0.036592462001589963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04702978168565475,0.06505851270332573,0.0,0.1763829255261353,0.058924160068586334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11321354814396604,0.0,0.06300276561005243,0.04444489604372635,0.0,0.06689191378539841,0.07252877612612503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053146186226458524,0.14153510484495824,0.04894641559891336,0.09874140490607566,0.0,0.06430660405055266,0.0,0.0,0.06523753558074104,0.06388850986819604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0451185939334168,0.050639629935284466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210326801618264,0.0,0.09232100776098977,0.17441401104192286,0.0,0.07308851200392942,0.0,0.07506271078570406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07458857838422225,0.0,0.1332027154929745,0.0,0.08530998430194614,0.0,0.0,0.07148558834195251,0.0,0.0,0.06333600315242459,0.052949743910077576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060614971448217536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05507842636294153,0.4490547789666848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05317354081351508,0.11133330620109656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266739533357712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06130099311902173,0.22843155402428544,0.0,0.04423501206469005,0.04266391533759044,0.06541779284855719,0.0,0.11647584187073287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808228670918255,0.0,0.0,0.06931560445014838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781773598907105,0.05285075557609188,0.0,0.0,0.11973283682513615,0.0,0.0,0.07433792055530436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454203921499903,0.0,0.0,0.047298893904372835,0.07279842915068112,0.0,0.1286324625611534
addiction,_ThrowawayAccount_-,2020/04/20,"Online Gambling Addiction On my 16th birthday, I was given $100 by my family members to enjoy my freedom and do whatever I wished with this money.  Your imagination takes control of you and clouds your logical thinking. Regardless I went to a bitcoin atm in my nearby area to find out you had to be over 18, I was extremely disappointed. I then bought a $100 amazon gift card and traded it for bitcoin on [localbitcoins.com](https://localbitcoins.com/). For some reason, I had a mindset where I knew I could get scammed but had an all or nothing mentality which should have been a warning sign for further reckless behavior.  I was watching videos learning more about the technology and somehow stumbled upon a video that showed a site called bitsler where you could instantly deposit and win crypto. I watched a video where this guy seamlessly deposited a similar amount that I had and won $8000 within minutes. I deposited my money and became a sucker that day. I just kept doubling up after every loss and chased losses. I lost patience with small bets and strategies. I ended up winning 20 litecoins which was over $1000 and I was shocked. I instantly withdrew them to my own wallet, knowing full well that they would be returning to the site later after the rush I received. The next night those litecoins were once again being gambled, now I had a more exaggerated fantasy of my possible winnings. I thought I was some genius who would bet a large amount on black after many consecutive reds, I was so overconfident I probably would have claimed it as being skill rather than luck. I get jittery even thinking about my previous bets, losing 15 litecoins on a 50% bet. I was so desensitized by the ""number on the screen"" rather than actual cash. Of course, I doubled up losing bets and got lucky. I remember my heart beating so fast and my hands shaking typing in chat before I went all-in with 93 litecoins all or nothing on 2.1x payout. Parents sitting in the room 20 feet away completely unaware of what I am doing.... starting an unhealthy addiction and unrealistic perception of digital money and gambling. I don't know whether it was good or bad that I won that bet. Sometimes I wish I had just lost it all here. At the time I won litecoin was around $60 a piece. I would always consider not going to my job paying $13/hr because I just made a week's worth of pay in 10 minutes, it was like having an unimaginable ""superpower"" of being able to double your money. Being 16 and having \~60,000 in digital cash is a surreal feeling but also a feeling associated with the dreaded burning a hole in the wallet phenomenon. I was tempted to buy stuff but my stubborn overconfidence in luck told me to double that again and again. There were some nights where I would deposit $100 lose and then get mad and deposit $5000 and bet all in. I would think about how much I just won and it would fulfill my self-esteem. At the time of my gambling, I was very isolated and didn't go out with friends much and winning made me feel as if I had some worth. I will never forget these highs and lows of gambling and have not told my parents, nor do they have any clue. Hindsight is me thinking about the potential \~$60k I could have made but obviously that's no point in reminiscing on. I realized I wasn't gambling for the monetary gain but rather entertainment, reassurance to my ego and most important adrenaline. I am glad this experience happened while I was young and that I have time to recover. I am now in college and have saved money from my past 4 years working and am in a comfortable position to avoid debt. I have been free of gambling for over two years and have come back now to share my story that I was too scared to share earlier in my journey.

The house always wins.",6.849973506034736,7.3929749465541565,7.056635593497536,73.92044745363556,64.65400843881856,9.820704543224416,35.240931540902096,9.706407341189486,3.415722572204233,3021,133,533,57,43,976,346,711,0.11699999999999999,0.7120000000000001,0.17,0.9925,6,1,0,0,0,1,84.0,0,6,3,21,34,43,3,4,35,0,67,5,3,6,6,123,106,50,0,18,19,2,4,1,1,9,2,0,1,1,26,38,0,4,19,7,36,9,8,18,1,1,47,9,83,26,82,41,22,88,0,9,5,0,22,47,0,20,32,390,109,8,0.08070410553360677,0.0,0.0787555652936183,0.17595877481003666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645390440376351,0.13430456175012107,0.0,0.0,0.0548815592245529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07184376418888981,0.0,0.0,0.07582416376552367,0.0620564755882057,0.06738455710782149,0.049196473664861066,0.0,0.06867324967085839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240791500974545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06951944088733346,0.08461671919212416,0.0,0.09051651676532214,0.19330698394724985,0.0,0.0,0.05204747158510594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147988325516587,0.0,0.0,0.05330430056640045,0.0,0.06799668965159388,0.0,0.0,0.07894410111557963,0.07608064821562645,0.0,0.12241926193452735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07376209037956946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06235179174007501,0.0,0.12649369260657464,0.0,0.09173200600318117,0.06769077474123689,0.06454644565557162,0.0,0.0,0.0799097527596679,0.07136637399396695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956347536324421,0.0,0.0852683184591183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09312170224515927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08008637189433394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870573161314928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03942794944188998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2708617523441834,0.17619612928950212,0.0,0.0,0.22909252799860655,0.0,0.0818212960008355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133075656967564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11865360700119655,0.0,0.062243981437807995,0.0,0.08582973180310617,0.15147067199449785,0.0,0.15487553172251686,0.0,0.0,0.08594723849622041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17922471701618795,0.0,0.07704120059171346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07629146560146381,0.09098175297446227,0.0,0.0,0.08701267560378605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297726173834369,0.0,0.0,0.0914220192444332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08079888858418235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08419198298296122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798184239713722,0.0,0.057122781278438436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923868925478984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060679443611414585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068477285479169,0.0,0.06407004505761735,0.14117763882561268,0.0,0.0,0.15423246267164786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883618434115147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658933908289857,0.0,0.0,0.06473596546245658,0.0,0.072562683048151,0.14962702873897607,0.0,0.0,0.18561147698918,0.0,0.0,0.058753550009723626,0.0,0.0,0.40130916740016986,0.0,0.0,0.10394159595121312
addiction,strangeducks,2020/04/20,"i’m relapsing. i’m all kinds of fucked up. i think i took meth last night, thinking it was mdma. i took it before and i did feel like it was different but i was too busy because i took it when i was with friends. when ever im at college i smoke everyday and drink every weekend. i thought i would have stopped when i tried to kill myself on acid and told my parents that someone was trying to kill me while i was tripping. i swore off any substance (including weed and alcohol) for a whole month after that instance. and then i went back to smoking and drinking without touching anything hard. but then my body started rejecting alcohol from the first sip. I would vomit any alcohol I would intake. it was frustrating to go out to parties with friends being sober and them being fucked up. (also i know that i shouldnt be touching much substances including alcohol but i dislike drinking alone and i know drinking is bad but its hard for me to drink often because of the pain and the vomiting. i drink socially. but the substance itself is my least favorite due to the painful consequences ) i saw that my plug for weed was selling mdma in crystal form. ive only taken it a few months ago and last night. but i’m afraid that i’m going back to who i once was. before i didn’t care about my life and didn’t think about my friends or family. i started abusing substances since i was in ninth grade with dxm. and started buying weed in tenth grade. i didn’t get my hands on other substances until i got into college. 
i always don’t want to feel the way i do. and thats when i would take anything at all. 
later it wasnt just with being upset. it was being unsatisfied with life. 
the only things that i looked forward to was trying harder drugs. especially psychedelics. 
but when i had my near death experience and all my friends and family found out. 
i realized that there were people out there that were actually worried about me. i realized that im so selfish. 
my mentality was that atleast i was staying alive to do drugs instead of feeling suicidal all the time. 
but i want to get better without relying on drugs. 
my friends used to know but i stopped telling them because i feel ashamed. especially since i had said how drugs are ruining me. and that im trying to stop. 
but i feel disappointed cause i feel like i havent. 
i had things to look forward to when there were drugs involved. and i fooled myself into thinking that i was happy for once. but now it feels like a dream. 
being on “mdma” or meth last night made me hate myself the whole time. all i could do is write to myself how disappointed i was at myself and that i was ruining my life.
i havent been smoking weed for more than three weeks at first since corona. but then i started again..",3.0348813610471908,5.169212739371538,3.940317627975404,86.47736994982837,75.95009242144178,6.6344411332000455,27.122147195292165,7.5991,1.5790651552302983,2176,87,422,30,49,698,221,541,0.19399999999999998,0.706,0.099,-0.9966,2,1,18,0,0,2,48.0,0,0,2,3,25,31,6,3,12,0,53,26,2,5,6,87,101,47,4,8,17,1,12,3,5,5,16,1,0,0,29,28,10,3,18,8,2,9,10,19,0,4,41,17,76,12,59,48,12,73,0,5,3,2,15,22,2,3,47,302,105,4,0.0,0.06785716705577823,0.0558885616013809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050767583041675016,0.2448225597322117,0.0,0.0593158310678716,0.0,0.04579986601510542,0.047654338742498616,0.0,0.0,0.07789294361778404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942588579625694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807624313902457,0.047819172611632786,0.10473622297313764,0.0,0.09746737593178788,0.0,0.0,0.0506518418203496,0.0,0.06361554243558093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0583919431035245,0.058833437297958126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045726500893554255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05983635563272625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3366246300379745,0.33208283154967416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051805201474528564,0.048253569942834564,0.0,0.0,0.05602235526866612,0.10798063549209466,0.0,0.20270675498384855,0.12274395978927473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09742993681582993,0.0,0.06279506289768612,0.22123845728423916,0.105892852946788,0.059843817640669386,0.0,0.0650972391501895,0.0,0.045805118542700814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060966401206304616,0.1026077340868528,0.0565435865237008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185588609265551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267244937430841,0.059639282391576384,0.09442448404453484,0.1400513461124836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135731315925424,0.08393964437879894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961869947164701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05419152206675315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057716035453300965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914268666071182,0.0,0.04210102104777709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612358050698868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12198420556709084,0.0,0.0871148622292328,0.12188147702389775,0.0,0.06359304006075711,0.0,0.0,0.03970473264832605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05447815471622608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14212632074550452,0.0,0.0,0.058380913819823986,0.04852581640654064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16214778312718986,0.061043623059243574,0.0,0.1436442018379903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264554512277345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04306091651517693,0.0,0.05005767124340439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760970604771122,0.14678863615486906,0.0,0.045467042826191933,0.06679075216103801,0.0,0.0,0.05472521502969615,0.19089168185877947,0.15553390866728456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0494640452775552,0.0,0.0,0.06756023462233456,0.0454593200681556,0.04593961049082259,0.0,0.0,0.05309110144618237,0.0,0.12788280079967004,0.0,0.11041504667365344,0.0,0.0,0.058161820845352326,0.0,0.16273565313728794,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,FrenFran,2020/04/20,"Just got over a craving to do drugs So I've been clean from all drugs for over a month now and it's been going pretty well in general. Ironically, I felt intense desires to do drugs today, on the 20th of April. I also had online classes this afternoon and I could not concentrate whatsoever on what the teacher was saying. I also felt shivers and I was irritable and restless. After some time and after I stepped outside to breathe some fresh air, I came back inside and my symptoms were mostly gone.

Anyways, I just wanted to share today's experience with y'all and how I managed to not succumb to my desires to do drugs! Stay strong everyone!",3.730073313782992,5.947448693548387,4.9837829912023475,79.40931085043991,74.16129032258064,7.089736070381233,29.821114369501466,8.00094639256281,2.290525806451613,514,23,90,8,11,170,81,124,0.042,0.812,0.146,0.8945,0,0,4,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,10,4,0,1,4,0,10,6,1,1,1,25,17,11,0,4,4,0,2,0,0,0,5,1,1,0,3,9,0,0,2,0,0,4,2,1,1,0,11,3,12,3,18,5,4,21,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,3,10,70,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446350546126033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761244314165603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17493901298118195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12212159135627712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7095138802831319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461544228432975,0.0,0.14961869032713648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937202981691412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08692747403116856,0.0,0.12233155521169692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208669179356813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556095478748669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12163542719232236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630289710446312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15897812036162182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918890339735623,0.0,0.28996565225499626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902164303331372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13752431721772915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,Kult30,2020/04/20,"Choose life Hi! I 'm 25 years old, I 'm married, I have a son and I depend on everything, seriously, from McDonald 's and computer games, to Cocaine, mdma and finally mephedron... Mephedron or meow is a very strong euphoretic, someone compares the effect to mdma cocaine, but they are just children 's toys compared to meow. I don 't know where this shit was synthesized, but now it 's the most popular drug in my homeland, in countries where the government doesn 't care about its citizens, I haven 't met this drug. I live, by the way, in Russia. Today I decided to change my life and become free. I would like to share my luck and failures, perhaps someone will use this knowledge, and I will occasionally tell stories for which I am really ashamed to people who love me. I apologize in advance for numerous mistakes, I write not in my native language.",4.5302775073028245,6.586702183544308,5.505696202531649,77.23682083739048,71.46835443037975,8.659006815968842,33.672833495618306,9.265573868473778,3.4050977604673816,667,34,115,15,13,219,107,158,0.105,0.713,0.182,0.9308,0,0,4,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,1,3,5,12,1,1,6,0,8,6,1,3,0,23,13,9,0,2,5,1,0,1,0,3,4,0,0,2,7,6,0,0,5,2,1,1,1,4,0,0,2,0,19,9,17,8,1,15,0,0,0,1,13,8,1,4,6,72,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189135546904225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20209401226858728,0.0,0.2096858199539928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4597343281719714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17814339822928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21713549861753215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10893410872980197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28001107722466784,0.09683812879706416,0.0,0.17502800427867474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17889731581004736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20799392637109126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13741773779861513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12698198750991546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20346546264096846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33589486545498115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17324916912708213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18788520991189336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17119463477098815,0.0,0.16354862694863007,0.0,0.1573343153059236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080667354807785,0.0,0.0,0.1276443461881122
addiction,swamp_ass91,2020/04/20,I hate this I've been a person addicted to anything and I'm trying so hard to go back to a rehab after 4 years I let my mind free and it cost me everything I had built Right now I'm scared,-1.1872727272727277,0.6146857272727289,2.055636363636367,95.99845454545458,89.45454545454545,5.3381818181818215,15.618181818181819,6.742157984588678,-0.3895490909090911,148,3,37,2,5,53,34,44,0.198,0.725,0.077,-0.6329,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,1,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,3,7,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,2,1,5,2,4,4,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,21,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3317261560762328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504086237150097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339838536468356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27348046974479945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17293769960292707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725882960029883,0.3004280337649133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3111619637539141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30725091853293285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656984088562517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598660248644547,0.0,0.0,0.3046520954035852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20659613776488134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959558204389027
addiction,Weeping_Angel7,2020/04/20,"Day 1 (again) and I’ve spent all day in bed I turn 30 in 3 months, I always promised myself I would quit by the time I’m 30. So this is me, on yet another attempt, trying to quit smoking cigarettes. It’s so hard. It’s only been 24 hours so far. And I keep rationalising why it’s okay to start tomorrow. I just love smoking so much.",-0.3141666666666687,1.6545281388888888,2.5061111111111143,93.12500000000004,87.05555555555556,5.822222222222222,20.11111111111111,7.1686216300943375,0.3754944444444446,254,8,61,4,8,89,52,72,0.027999999999999997,0.843,0.129,0.774,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,3,7,3,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,1,6,9,6,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,7,3,6,6,2,13,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,9,32,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20230044634305686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25493898335985626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31359252717817704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177932896748831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394302992365991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161017070996756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194308568773127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19406098595039875,0.0,0.17872570628848408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18490840474480236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5171892085532561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17208595148815914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14176882242326153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16506670733011072,0.2644514529104636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21938354874204785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17270985252515167,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,ToddHuthNot,2020/04/20,Dr. Question What happens if you’ve been abusing a drug and tell your dr.  What are the ramifications?,2.064035087719297,4.903719263157896,3.027368421052632,84.63824561403509,93.21052631578951,4.63859649122807,27.385964912280702,6.42735559955562,1.3513017543859651,82,4,15,1,3,26,18,19,0.158,0.8420000000000001,0.0,-0.4588,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,9,3,0,0.0,0.5029555827017191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4922778869032692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3753783485811108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4755300579484781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3710261760297532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,janeoregano,2020/04/20,"Quitting Vaping is tough Hi friends, I’m new to reddit (crazy, I know) but I’ve been having a really tough time trying to quit vaping for good for over a year now. I’m a singer and I don’t want to permanently ruin my voice or compromise my health in any way. This has honestly been the hardest thing I’ve tried to do for myself and I feel completely out of control with quitting. I feel pathetic for not being able to drop it as easily as I once imagined, but I know I’m not alone in this. Does anyone have any tips for quitting and staying away from it?? Especially being in quarantine, it makes it really tough. Thanks in advance! -J",3.368437499999999,4.855857718750002,5.073875000000001,81.48362500000003,73.375,8.870000000000003,25.3,9.3871,2.145785,500,16,100,12,10,170,80,128,0.127,0.7190000000000001,0.154,0.5899,0,2,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,6,1,8,0,0,4,0,10,1,0,2,0,18,20,8,0,1,5,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,7,5,0,1,5,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,2,3,9,4,22,16,0,15,0,1,0,0,2,7,0,1,4,61,16,0,0.15554044586461382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16109299337161548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21154567379419087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087574962440382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14613536896818602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16308119820822728,0.0,0.17445183590972624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13611449234469156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15729184579326616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201701626402424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13045994642476755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16533222055493052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709619226262353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10382445540598584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15022193184990998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656454985548116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6617456401157491,0.0,0.0,0.1992863849232248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16578541997683546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14320074503418506,0.0,0.0,0.10333416086686832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906968848067881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21120350559811665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09174178488494246,0.12346076611550898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10016294754297797
addiction,rankyandstanky,2020/04/20,Vivitrol/naltrexone and kava. Has anyone have experience with the two? Does anyone have any personal experience taking kava while on vivitrol.,7.49939393939394,11.70194954545455,9.260909090909092,41.728030303030316,76.27272727272728,13.842424242424245,34.60606060606061,11.20814326018867,7.530678787878787,118,6,11,6,3,41,17,22,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,9,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22307214128435826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4587334192706967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28706189753333083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6417539853620916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28642377586194256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466382808651333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3204383530670783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,penguin18119,2020/04/20,"Down to 3 smokes a day Hi there, I’m trying to stop smoking and I’m down to 3 cigarettes a day but I feel like to go to two is really difficult now as I have one after each meal. Any tips to kick this last bit?",-1.8709523809523816,-0.1042258163265295,1.5623469387755122,98.40705782312928,92.87755102040815,5.715646258503401,14.289115646258502,7.1686216300943375,-0.4003496598639456,161,3,43,3,6,58,36,49,0.114,0.8170000000000001,0.07,-0.2592,0,0,2,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,6,3,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,1,2,1,10,6,2,9,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,7,24,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23613002583072196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3790879876259417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.447872508852356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755711990889496,0.2480629870473419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19734024737169426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830408544445501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16964027355842182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23529374710236545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22244604853235472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2903019410579316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357480932507342,0.0,0.3391957245366203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,littylikepdiddy,2020/04/20,"i cant drink responsibly Hey so im a 21 y/o m and i cant moderate my drinking. On saturday night I drank an entire 1.75L and blacked out. My roommates are a couple (24m and 23f) and we knew each other before I moved in 4 months ago but werent super close. 
     Long story short I was being absolutely obnoxious and yelling and they took off to go for a walk. At some point I had locked myself out and the neighbor called them telling them I was standing in the street screaming. So they started walking back and when they got back two cruisers had pulled up and they were talking to me. They came over and told the cops lived right here with them and they would make sure i stayed in. 
      So we go back in and I proceed to start yelling again at the top of lungs at my roommate about why he called the cops. He in turn was furious at me for being so drunk I dont even know what im talking about. So we go out on the back porch and smoke some weed and talked and i guess I started crying and saying how much I hate myself and why I cant just be a functioning person. We went back in and we were all cool i guess. 
      So i wake up sunday get told all of this back from my roommates and one of my boys Id been talking to and he said to me that I sounded like OG Jim Lahey in the cut screaming the “im not drunk” and that “im having coronavirus withdrawls” and “everyone here is being assholes I wanna leave”. 
       So I obviously didnt drink sunday and I felt absolutely fine. I dont have a physical addiction to alcohol like i do to nicotine. My problem is I dont know when to stop. I cant pace myself at all and once im drunk and should stop is when I feel the best and my drunk brain think feel good= drink more feel better but being drunk is like a steep hill. theres a nice ascent but a steep drop if u go to far. I want to be able to drink again and moderate myself but idk if ill ever be able to.",1.2672962962962977,2.8818606617283966,2.9283641975308647,94.10513888888893,79.41975308641976,5.981481481481483,21.126543209876548,6.816661863887847,0.22617283950617306,1468,40,344,15,36,485,192,405,0.17800000000000002,0.7390000000000001,0.083,-0.9923,1,0,7,0,2,0,23.0,5,0,9,4,27,17,3,0,18,1,33,17,3,2,6,74,63,44,0,7,8,0,4,3,1,2,3,7,2,2,5,39,12,2,8,10,0,11,9,6,0,2,19,13,54,11,43,35,9,67,0,0,1,0,32,28,0,6,28,223,59,0,0.15222022591467674,0.0,0.0,0.08297125739811316,0.0,0.0,0.06746702291524362,0.08133856418801039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35114387320376245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06476410035199535,0.0,0.07987286792790993,0.06731320988804099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496405718600347,0.15543386990042662,0.08704969325775172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421439234981021,0.0836033852280607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676014566423717,0.3727946763778368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050270011796751064,0.0688459545561126,0.0,0.0727264745579727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545067989274654,0.0,0.07307764409860214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03976439269114248,0.0,0.17302052460758716,0.06383755172876444,0.06087221012312119,0.0,0.16768774030503014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07514297942001684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4110599127744097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08365625525988532,0.0,0.0,0.08058962018905756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11155067016196048,0.0,0.06720662414323925,0.06735505492166417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0508040914037362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060750366029714474,0.08089300508551457,0.055949690365480385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07142418517001288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810547863341927,0.0515741822850978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06645641493043741,0.0,0.0,0.07194865770726303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07282709920489686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06499762060697498,0.07239814646292335,0.060525816659924965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616133890634169,0.08112325363976193,0.0,0.1272629248351918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173288073610283,0.0,0.0,0.2446977031810804,0.06652359341373654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04876828719139648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454529491159454,0.08456113594984033,0.0,0.08278594732846896,0.07434852112736663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04489171656726847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07055483722604511,0.1373550775464328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05406644053907226,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,landhominems,2020/04/20,"I am no longer going to hurt those who love me. I can’t. I can’t do it. I hope to God this doesn’t  change but right now I cannot imagine ever making that move to use blow again when it hurts them so much.
From 4:30 AM voicemails of my boyfriend sobbing while I’m gone to losing my children. I can’t. I can’t believe it’s gotten this far. I’m just so depressed. But I have people who love me and I need to work on the love they deserve back from me. 
My boyfriend always says love is action.  
This is Day 2.
Since the quarantine, usage had increased. I can usually go a week during quarantine being good. This time being “good” lasts forever. 
I’m ashamed. 
Support would be lovely. I don’t really have any. 

(Wow, as soon as I started to press send I received my first test, a text message from a “friend” who uses. Not replying though I almost did out of habit!!! Please pray for me. I am strong and I have this.)",0.12314009661835712,2.3758534603174617,1.8497032436162897,96.43720496894413,88.47089947089947,4.5567977915804025,18.79940188635841,6.0469075449839425,-0.21332730618817566,700,20,156,6,23,228,117,189,0.113,0.623,0.264,0.9885,0,2,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,2,4,10,18,0,1,5,0,23,5,0,3,1,16,42,11,0,3,4,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,13,3,0,0,1,0,0,8,9,6,0,1,4,2,26,12,16,34,2,26,1,5,0,5,16,4,1,2,14,102,39,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336128786762742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102611707697488,0.0,0.0,0.09073833889825636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026009754882261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15033217690962267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14115336871282336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08605260459462072,0.0,0.11492479028514035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069688754232635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11349719518896242,0.0,0.0,0.10308923597952896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516649666325392,0.2238328701130638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13252808796397422,0.0,0.0,0.28568344186535644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10876489291138748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492762828780722,0.0,0.0,0.6021379696970103,0.0,0.08906689937531538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14181710458832347,0.09808787647161464,0.09893814090929932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250495152903472,0.0,0.0,0.1464682724815239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854799590492429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395020310924454,0.0,0.10611048585078868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037633328678456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09444385982632668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15141705789943669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13109626732539342,0.0,0.07780527507852487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304848216134825,0.14695650224600013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070311058219767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714008872169368,0.0,0.0,0.09478626791701428,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,getfuckedrogerstone,2020/04/20,"When you have many addictions, which one should you start on? Lets say someone had the following addictions: 
1. Caffeine
2. Porn/masturbation
3. Cigarettes
4. Weed 

Where would you start? 

Would it be the one that is the least addictive to that individual? The most addictive? The most harmful to their life? Or would you try to address them all at once, in steps?",2.1760839160839147,4.973003000000006,2.6899300699300706,86.30188811188812,95.92307692307692,7.286713286713287,24.370629370629374,8.00094639256281,2.222692307692308,285,12,53,8,11,88,48,65,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,4,2,0,2,1,0,0,5,0,9,5,0,0,1,8,12,2,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,4,5,1,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,2,1,1,6,0,6,5,4,9,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,3,3,39,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7600619507665476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17823614813237695,0.12311503295485167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17671540939001498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856265077571706,0.2362238130773006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13861236928574958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476859695685367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24674445828901198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183399775795224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3714585528391545,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,dominicwrites96,2020/04/20,"Looking for a support person I'm a 23 y/o male. My mom died a few years ago and i've been fucking up with prescription pills, cocaine, weed, alcohol, hallucinogens, nitrous, fucking anything ever since. All of my friends ""party"" just as hard as I do and I don't have family around.  In all, I don't have anyone to help me through this. I can't stand therapists, i've been going on an off for years. If anyone would like to talk, bounce some things off, or be vent buddies? I truly don't know. ugh.",2.041804180418044,3.8595664257425777,3.624290429042905,89.06622662266226,77.8118811881188,6.469086908690867,25.083608360836077,7.3871296695380915,1.1346228822882285,383,14,81,5,9,127,73,101,0.051,0.784,0.165,0.8815,0,0,2,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,3,6,2,0,4,0,11,4,0,0,3,13,18,6,1,2,3,1,1,1,1,1,2,0,0,2,2,4,1,0,1,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,2,2,8,3,15,14,4,12,0,0,1,2,6,6,2,3,5,50,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18216810165119707,0.21962273106045188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2873882511026899,0.0,0.16911340061979593,0.1829433395593849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21328211797680915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18589136300866715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937321633623682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587729309178456,0.3799727866483296,0.0,0.0,0.11679343163716567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840924366833525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13774591055914026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11294037111350028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003995381410346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725727440741973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406853932189039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17943935314339696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699961569546189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332050465329343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651774235054986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386075616228945,0.13652862927285905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14598511110254989,0.0,0.0,0.26467742743061595
addiction,Bedroom_,2020/04/20,"Stealing My Sister's Pills Because I'm a Piece Of Shit. I Desperately Need Help TL;DR I'm factually depressed. I'm going to kill myself when I turn 21. I started stealing my sister's prescribed amphetamine pills for her ADHD and they honestly make me a much better person, and they make me genuinely happy. I need help, I don't know what is right.

​

A short story of me: Very depressed, on antidepressants, tried to commit suicide many times, you know, the usual. I'm not trying to get attention by saying this or sympathy rather an explanation for my shitty actions.

I started taking my sister's amphetamines (she has ADHD, gets it legally) and it fucks my depression up. It makes me super nice and generous to people, and just generally appreciate life. Antidepressants don't help, weed doesn't, not even mushrooms, the so-called cure for depression. 

This isn't the bad compared to other posts but I feel guilty afterward. I'm stealing from a little fucking girl who needs these to function in school for my own feelings. I can't stop. I am tired of laying around all these years hoping I get better. Just a small dose and I'm normal, productive, kind, just a good person. 

I don't know what to do. I don't want to stop. I get addicted to drugs very easily. I thought about finding someone who sells Adderall for a stronger effect but I know if they get laced and I die it will hurt my mom. I'm tired of living my life for myself. Through these pills see everything wrong with me and I changed immediately. Too scared to tell my psychiatrist.

Today I just had the best conversation with my friend because these pills gave me energy and dropped my guard.

​

I'm ""high"" right now. I don't want to come down I want to keep taking more. 

​

In some ways, I need this off my chest, in other ways I'm reaching out as an 18-year-old dumb kid asking for advice from people with experience and who could share a possible solution. 

​

I know a lot of people say they have depression, but I can only admit this is a very serious fucking problem. I can only admit it when I take these pills. I truly believe I won't make it past 21 (My plan is to buy a gun so the failure rate is lower and I won't be kept in a hospital alive against my will). Now that I have taken these, I don't want to fucking die. I want to meet people, explore, live. Cheesy bullshit was sorry. I'm tired of being an introverted ""goth/emo"" who just smokes all day wishing I was dead while lying in bed. 

​

Should I just find street Adderall? This might be bad for the normal person but if it means keeping me alive longer, isn't this the healthiest habit I have? Or am I being a piece of shit stealing and being a junkie. If you read this far, please tell me how you genuinely feel. I don't want it sugarcoated I want to grow. If I'm being immature or making a big mistake, let me know. I'm so fucking lost and confused. I need help.",2.6991114982578424,5.036908954703833,3.9695209059233454,84.85947299651568,77.91986062717771,6.608710801393729,24.535714285714285,7.7094869923839395,1.3815351916376308,2316,82,443,36,56,757,266,574,0.204,0.626,0.17,-0.9811,1,0,2,1,0,3,98.0,0,3,4,7,18,40,9,2,25,0,41,21,3,7,4,98,111,31,5,25,20,4,3,0,1,6,13,2,1,5,30,19,0,6,18,1,2,5,15,28,0,0,8,6,72,12,52,89,10,45,0,7,1,5,38,20,8,12,16,273,102,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05755473526550652,0.1268995260041047,0.05159101474145995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2860187524007475,0.3207607055762206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04699906364809692,0.049356534731136624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08816384063849153,0.06436712282941029,0.0,0.0,0.0594822913997367,0.05540547308364841,0.09338641106494257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05585049044342818,0.04547852780170964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042152798946111916,0.0,0.0,0.03404863953563831,0.0,0.2273628309428406,0.0,0.10958649669275417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06122585615879565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03487083734157912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04744906528513575,0.0516439926952867,0.0,0.0,0.0800847609861686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09650800510539434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040789564155629926,0.2440422978398815,0.13791698270589264,0.0,0.030004819745913583,0.044282243091939316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0562016424239366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14155046766340698,0.05578119648477491,0.0,0.0524377050141583,0.0,0.0,0.05651852479769137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09385388350012937,0.058410243533996674,0.0549782430497954,0.1740896947608208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05398683257414316,0.07458184819565597,0.0,0.052914820538212254,0.09323854023551288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057632372054262686,0.0448847270746549,0.0,0.0,0.17620656374511734,0.05352620845982527,0.0,0.057509624507839835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056007533756723266,0.0,0.061833287521191965,0.0,0.0,0.038810664296929344,0.19573545228621156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034564865272518,0.0,0.0,0.05539984916304085,0.0,0.0,0.08030650062893234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05039914501996106,0.1464066202161503,0.13829661576647245,0.0,0.05795345110847239,0.0,0.05951883572831294,0.05056336087494105,0.0,0.0,0.050518029331298765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052809647153733486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09017389790714077,0.0,0.08396997861261253,0.0528573655645222,0.053431722909029485,0.042071066465384034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10838735665855136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04473333718323474,0.0,0.0,0.05910008307729595,0.074737655059472,0.0,0.0,0.08827856992522917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05774955478393254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190866207229579,0.0,0.09229094334358898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04191361852480807,0.030785398973100682,0.1820414993558035,0.050043828061182564,0.0,0.0,0.07168916769530424,0.05742619108846424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05814663014517363,0.13068510348150034,0.2179804983757463,0.08381299866004104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06071205844599097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05772343818315483,0.3207607055762206,0.06799696172589044
addiction,miniaturepeach,2020/04/20,"Anything that eases cocaine withdrawal? I’m a cocaine addict and am finally getting help and engaging in effective harm reduction. I’ve been able to cut my use down to one night (1/2-1 g) every two weeks. Withdrawal after even that use, needless to say, is excruciating. It’s not mental, just about three hours of immobile physical torture. I usually take a klonipin to help with heart rate, but does anyone know if there is anything I can do or take that might ease the flu like feeling? Marijuana only gives me anxiety. Any advice or suggestions would be immensely appreciated, thank you so much",5.459722222222222,7.811817379629629,6.462222222222222,70.105,69.64814814814815,10.355555555555558,34.22222222222222,10.504223727775694,4.3697333333333335,479,24,77,15,9,159,90,108,0.11599999999999999,0.662,0.222,0.8796,0,0,2,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,1,5,6,2,0,3,0,9,3,1,3,0,16,19,7,0,2,6,0,1,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,3,1,2,5,3,10,15,1,8,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,4,7,46,9,0,0.17873870590281454,0.0,0.0,0.1948515722579568,0.0,0.17466139476418674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12154844922530499,0.0,0.13673462078630122,0.0,0.0,0.1249782590491603,0.0,0.2941734508665509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15641544603443666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11805522952392584,0.0,0.15059506866029482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09037566020167093,0.0,0.0,0.1957995156376108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09338359666618863,0.17146245354933468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21180622708815064,0.239609573832875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17602162114376171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982301183432006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732270326334736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801265757577498,0.18961352111940905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13139351477765635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677341673977926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111797291381413,0.135938840113648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14214019298026706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26877852506501443,0.0,0.0,0.16455858609282942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746017439172948,0.0,0.0,0.30874570746223123,0.19685543253778487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433734085226986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12697084840935696,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,QDP-20,2020/04/20,"Any statistics about quitting success rates for different drugs? Reading \[This guide\]([https://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/bzcha02.htm](https://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/bzcha02.htm)) published a few decades ago about withdrawing from benzodiazepines and saw an interesting tidbit:

​

>*They say  that most smokers make 7 or 8 attempts before they finally give up cigarettes. The good news is that most long-term benzodiazepine users are successful after the first attempt.*

​

The author doesn't really provide a source for that but it made me curious about why some drugs might make relapse more likely when trying to quit. It's especially interesting to me given the danger of sudden benzo withdrawal compared to smoking. Maybe it's easier to measure gradually smaller doses when tapering off a benzo? I guess smoking smaller and smaller cigarettes is not really practical. Is it a property of the chemical that dictates the likelihood of discontinuation success, or just a matter of personality and mindset?",12.452903225806455,14.914028645161293,10.172419354838713,49.7386290322581,52.8709677419355,13.683870967741935,46.46774193548386,12.857556352371635,7.412535483870967,860,48,92,29,10,259,110,155,0.028999999999999998,0.804,0.16699999999999998,0.9586,1,0,5,0,0,0,51.0,0,0,1,8,6,8,1,0,12,0,6,3,0,3,0,18,13,8,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,1,3,1,0,1,9,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,3,2,4,7,17,9,5,9,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,7,8,64,13,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315832326504205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3216696713378906,0.3607420488158982,0.10094438919291512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12631163071649834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550883582090368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3442868843855793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626089237360046,0.0,0.12626311196092474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14239731360926985,0.0,0.12450455137929856,0.0,0.0,0.16352355559618664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252035710676633,0.0,0.0,0.13136485765902545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14045765483726888,0.19816989960173964,0.0,0.14912807790099195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15747153661037278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12961220947736327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31576873326914257,0.14848031554597313,0.0,0.19018911651306486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180455616801814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078111495083553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13394414295717522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3607420488158982,0.0
addiction,sunnydaygreyskies,2020/04/20,"how am i still alive ok so over the course of 14 hours i have taken 7 52mg concerta pills and 3 50mg vyvanse. fuck dude, i haven't slept yet and the last time i took my last dose was this morning and i feel like a zombie but im still lowkey tweeking. i have no more meds till tuesday so im kinda fucked",-0.3918633540372696,1.3083826086956556,1.5934161490683252,101.19521739130435,85.23188405797102,4.522567287784679,17.10351966873706,5.288315135182226,-0.8974654244306421,236,5,61,1,7,78,52,69,0.17,0.7509999999999999,0.079,-0.8383,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,6,4,2,0,3,1,5,5,1,1,0,7,11,8,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,4,1,7,2,3,7,1,11,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,1,10,31,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189228437201882,0.1680250291304803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4348723081357303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316220063670056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5081069819103935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3834344525093162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490554171597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612512270886617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37565780453636816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13714546235234445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26131290256688017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,cerebralanalyst,2020/04/20,"I need help. Someone in my family fell into a horrible heroin addiction a few months ago. The problem is still ongoing. They left their own child to be with someone that might be sex trafficking them abuses them and forcibly injects them with heroin. When this started, they choose to live near me. Coincidentally, I dont live in the best town. Its infamously known for its heroin problem. One day while going to the store, I noticed their vehicle in the parking lot. Alongside it was an RV, which theyve been living in with their partner. I check on it every now and then, and im scared. im scared for them. im scared for the child. I contacted CPS but theres only so much I can do. What can i do to save my family?",2.282414486921532,4.553099816901408,3.738953722334003,86.32169014084509,79.0,6.874044265593561,23.523138832997986,7.957251820313856,1.3168012072434605,562,19,113,10,14,185,91,142,0.14300000000000002,0.7959999999999999,0.061,-0.7684,0,0,0,0,1,0,19.0,0,0,9,1,5,7,0,3,8,0,11,2,0,0,0,16,14,8,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,8,7,0,0,2,0,2,2,1,5,0,1,2,0,19,2,17,9,5,20,0,0,0,1,14,9,0,2,9,80,27,0,0.0,0.16335518163911025,0.0,0.15030028472699686,0.0,0.0,0.1222147653516763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14468763241618268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889157111602654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16158437025053535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161626844260666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25994595839549783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07835555024602438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09241235970813386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44677463401623657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497977872887358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3652291791530266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11721341828944652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14625987300018742,0.0,0.0,0.11004771529162104,0.0,0.10135141561094684,0.1022299696943144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15696761564678327,0.0,0.0,0.09342529600122118,0.1048574878702559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638488095658573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4141002677338991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233636147726611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975861567553668,0.0,0.1101043573580055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
addiction,losmo121,2020/04/20,"How can I help/encourage without enabling? Hi everyone. This is my first post in this tread because I recently discovered that my little brother is an addict. A month ago he drove home from college and was acting strange/off. He was slurring his words and his hands were shaking. Each day he got worse and it got to the point that he wouldn’t respond and would stare at you without really being “there”. My family and I researched and researched and figured out it probably benzo withdrawal. None of us have had experience with addiction. He told our dad a few months before that he had taken them “once or twice”. None of us knew how bad it was. We took him to the ER and he was checked in for 3 days. During that I time I had to witness my baby brother withdrawal horribly from these drugs. I had to feed him and help him put on clothes. 

My family and I stayed strong for him but it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through. He is now staying with our parents and staying home because of COVID. We have had a few long talks and it seems like he is on the right path. He is doing online therapy and doing everything out parents are asking him to do. He is wanting to become religious again and help others going through the same thing. I’m worried about his future and how I can be supportive without enabling. I have had multiple nightmares about seeing him withdraw and about him dying. It’s on my mind daily. What advice do you have for me to ease my mind and help him too?",3.622374429223744,5.4478605753424665,4.389931506849315,85.25912100456623,73.38356164383562,7.3324200913242015,27.92009132420091,8.07648339933343,1.864403652968036,1176,46,226,18,24,377,161,292,0.036000000000000004,0.885,0.078,0.9044,2,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,6,2,1,4,11,5,0,1,9,0,34,5,1,3,1,43,48,22,1,3,5,5,1,1,0,2,3,0,2,0,17,24,1,0,3,0,1,6,6,2,1,3,20,3,37,3,34,24,6,34,0,0,2,0,44,11,0,2,14,167,54,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237137219263784,0.0,0.10026644960252068,0.09095498415337168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592376748111482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08567262466578324,0.12509664540573234,0.11332145679939724,0.08731106645424802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13234615435043728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10648994793787897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189916354946916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09281397688973984,0.0,0.09804546065803102,0.09221662603343757,0.10036941154975187,0.19345764366982213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727752857441752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05831396730540885,0.0,0.16412850805895698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2751014474770649,0.0,0.20584653165582986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05012863568238008,0.10283924852630152,0.0,0.09080403563598273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20720779863528413,0.0,0.16379998229611395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10927318989372074,0.06952921189893345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22786603594040444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09699685474252473,0.0,0.0982692180083658,0.0,0.1106277850315268,0.0,0.0,0.10314845418039977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657327219059407,0.0,0.1013121114308163,0.0,0.0,0.08762588442269234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176455699922047,0.09340963063455457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3280964801964326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11643729675847975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247168302935798,0.0,0.0,0.11734013658608135,0.0,0.13633516734748108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0598310126307576,0.0,0.0,0.09804546065803102,0.11400023964257447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24684736357250164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06052031337032671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29672868646076256,0.0,0.0,0.1042024689057508,0.10456537898242052,0.07288912464150595,0.0,0.0,0.0